Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.
It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.
it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.
i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.
i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."
when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.
i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.
i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.
the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.
pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.
of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.
house calls wilson a fag and when wilson tries to tell him he can’t just call people that, house says “oh grow up. you are one.” then he limps away and wilson stares after him like jim looking into the camera on the office
"femmes generalizing butches to be good at assembling furniture/driving/maintenance/strength-based tasks is butchphobic!!!" is genuinely like wow you hate dykes huh
Heya!! My top surgery consultation is right around the corner and I still need a bit of financial help to pay for the surgery, so I've added some new designs to my RB to help with that :D . If you're a fellow queer punk, I think you'll enjoy these. If not, there's other softer designs up there too that might suit your fancy! Check it out!
Happy pride month to the queers that can't come out to their friends and families. To the queers whose governments would torture or kill them for coming out. To queers who have lost all or most of their friends when they came out.
To queers that are not visibly queer. To queers who are visibly queer and are mocked for it.
To trans and nonbinary people who dont want to or maybe cant transition. Or who "dont pass". To ace and aro and aroace and bisexual people who are often assumed by others to be straight. To queers who are forced to "prove their queerness".
It is hard. But thats ok. Youre not alone. Queer is community. And one way or another we'll go through everything
it's kinda sad that the label lesboy has been shit on a lot, because it's such a cute and fun label that can mean so many different things. it could mean being a tomboy, being butch, multigender, genderfluid, using he/him pronouns, an expression of transmasculinity, a collective system identity, being cusper, a boydyke, ftm, reclaiming the word boy for yourself, and so, so many other reasons. binary masculine cishet manhood isn't the only manhood to exist, and if people were more accepting, I would be louder and prouder to call myself a lesboy. it's a beautiful identity
istg if they make quanxi have a nauseously high pitched hyper feminine teen shoujo love interest voice I'll start breaking furniture because she NEEDS to channel 40 year old soulless cigarette dyke so help me god.