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#life of pride
retoldflames · 11 months
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Retold Flames: Succession War
Got the first piece of many for a retelling AU here (holding multiple AU ideas). For some AU world building, Animus Magic has rules such as one has to have the intent to use animus magic to create an enchantment, you must be touching an object to place an enchantment, an enchantment can only do one thing, creating an enchantment has costs (preventing that cost can prevent the creation of an enchantment) enchantments can be overridden unless they are made permanent, enchantments can form a personality, enchantments based in memory or animating an object can form sentience. Twin eggs also have their own thing going on for each tribe with one dragonet being a fire scale variant and the other being of a subtribe. (There is a more detailed version for both on Ao3.)
Burn: Before the Succession War, Burn would be a somewhat kind yet fierce dragon, caring for her collection of odd creatures (getting inspiration for her hobby of poetry from them as they wandered around the Palace and giving the place some life) with help from her brother Smolder and sister Blaze who she would be close to (also including their father Char who would help teach Burn and Smolder about caring for creatures before his untimely death); Being on trusting terms with her mother Oasis and not so with her sister Blister. (Burn was also generally favored in being the one to be accepted by the Eye of Onyx, used as a way to choose a new queen.)
With the death of Oasis at the hands of Scavengers, Burn would enact her revenge on them and lead a small force that would push out most of the Scavenger population out of the Kingdom of Sand. Following this, Burn would find Blister has fled and enacted war on her, being allied with Queen Coral and the Kingdom of Sea (Forming the Shoreside Alliance); Burn herself retaliating with an alliance with Queen Harp and the Kingdom of Ice as well as being joined by Queen Scarlet and the Sky Kingdom. The Alliance itself come to be known as the Burning Alliance. (Scarlet’s involvement would lead the war to spread into the Mud Kingdom and lead High Queen Moorhen and her sibs to ally with the Shoreside Alliance.)
During the early years of the War, Burn would be tempted by Scarlet into choosing to do some unsavory stuff and escalating to her becoming her more brutal self and killing queen Harp. Leading to the Ice Kingdom breaking off their alliance with Burn and allying with Blaze with Princess Glacier taking the throne and forming the Sand-Ice Alliance. (Burn would come to kill and stuff her collection of creatures that would eventually be joined by the remains of dragons with abnormal parts, having her tower constructed to hold said collection.)
During the later years of the War, Burn would acquire an ally in the Mud Kingdom and its monarchy after they were blamed for failing to stop the assassination of Commander Tempest and being cut off from the Shoreside Alliance. (The Mud Kingdom is ruled by a Sibtroop of Kings and Queens with the Bigwing acting as a High Monarch.) Burn herself would connect with Moorhen as older siblings, building into a somewhat close friendship as Moorhen and the rest of her sibs would help temper Burn’s more destructive tendencies over the years. (Burn’s tower would be left to collect dust in the wake of past memories.) 
Sometime after the brightest night 0f 5,005 A.S. and destroying the supposed Skywing egg for the prophecy, Burn would form the Talons of Power; A group tasked with bringing order to the Souther regions of the Kingdom of Sand that have become rampant with crime due to lack of enforcement due to forces being pulled to the war up north. While the Talons would be generally successful in their endeavors for a few years, they would eventually collapse due to internal conflict/sabotage (such as from crime Lord Vulture sending his daughter Cobra to infiltrate the Talons).
As the War nears its end, the Burning Alliance nears complete victory over the Shoreside Alliance, being held back by Scarlet who has continued to cause issues for the Burning Alliance throughout the War; Leading Burn and Moorhen to assist Princess Ruby in usurping her mother Scarlet so they may finish the fight against the Shoreside Alliance.
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Scarlet & Chameleon (& Cobra): When the Succession War began, Scarlet would join the Secret Alliance with Blister and Seawing Advisor Whirlpool then the Burning Alliance with Burn under the pretense of infiltrating; instead using it to prolong the war and its suffering for her own personal enjoyment, taking up a little pet project in shepherding Burn into becoming merciless and brutal. Taking an even greater enjoyment as the War becomes more miserable for others.
During the early years of the Succession War, Scarlet would catch/first meet Chameleon using his Nightwing Enchantment Shapeshifter, along with his enchantment creating scroll, to steal treasure from her. Finding his seeming skill to create transformation enchantments (as well as artistry), Scarlet would seek to use his skills for herself (along with not wanting to personally deal with the consequences of using animus magic). Having him create a Skywing enchantment named Soar and use it to become champion of the arena so she can keep him close without suspicion, getting her guard Osprey (former champion and present defense attorney) to train Soar who would eventually succeed in becoming champion of the arena (suffering through till the end).
With Chameleon an arena champion as Sora, Scarlet would use his skills to her personal benefit from creating small, unnoticeable enchantments dealing with inconveniences for herself to having him create immaculate art and jewelry for her; Even going on to use him for her personal enjoyment, using him as Soar to produce an heir to eventually replace her daughter Tourmaline (as she has done many times with her previous daughters and male arena champions). From this, Scarlet would have her twelfth daughter Pyrite, a bit of a clumsy dragonet that would be adored by her father; An adoration that would turn to grief as Tourmaline, taking after her mother, would kill her sister as a threat to taking the throne and in jealousy of being more loved. Such an act would enrage Scarlet with her plan being ruined, taking revenge by personally using Chameleons scroll to transform Tourmaline into being her thirteenth daughter Ruby and permanently replacing her memories of being Tourmaline with a willingness to follow her mother’s commands (a willingness that Ruby would eventually overcome).
As the Succession War rages on, Scarlet would enact a breeding program to increase a dwindling population, getting her arena champions Soar and Kestrel into the program as well; Eventually leading to Scarlet catching Kestrel fleeing with her Fire Scale and Featherwing (Twin Egg Subtribe) dragonets, getting her to kill one of her dragonets with the promise of letting her other dragonet live; Watching as Kestrel would give in and throw her Featherwing dragonet in a raging river (not seeing any chance of it surviving), leaving Scarlet to attempt to kill Kestrel who she had no plans of letting go; Something that wouldn't come to pass as they would attempt to flee with their Fire Scale dragonet, dropping the dragonet from their burning talons (of the third degree). With Scarlet now in possession of a Fire Scale dragonet, she would use them as another of her arena champions and ensure they make their fight brutal with Osprey training them (teaching a few other things behind Scarlet's back as well).
Not wanting Chameleon/Soar to learn of one of his dragonets surviving, Scarlet would send him to infiltrate the Talons of Power (for the Secret Alliance) as a Sandwing named Platyr (bringing a few other enchantments with him to use). While in the Talons, Platyr would meet Talon members Thorn, becoming somewhat friends, and Cobra who would attempt to allure Platyr (believing him to be an animus due to the new enchanted items he keeps getting and being tasked by her father Vulture in getting his supposed animus magic, something she would be woefully unprepared for due to her general lack of social skills from solely living as an assassin for Vulture. Leaving Cobra to reluctantly go to Thorn to figure out about Platyr and not giving away her true intentions, leading to a comedy of errors with Cobra unintentionally making it seem like she romantically likes Platyr to Thorn; Something that Cobra would roll with, seeing it as a way to get Platyr with help from Thorn who would help her actually be able to somewhat socialize with Platyr. Building into a forming relationship between Cobra and Platyr that would take a bit of an escalation with the two having a twin egg that would hatch into being their Bile Flame (Fire Scale Variant) daughter Rattlesnake taking after her grandfather and their Cactwing (Twin Egg Subtribe) son Sirocco taking after his mother. Eventually, Cobra would come to learn of Platyr's enchantment creating scroll, still bearing a loyalty to Vulture; Escalating into Platyr fleeing for his life, never to be seen again as Cobra would attempt to kill him to take his scroll (unknowingly leaving her with another egg).
With Chameleon returning to the Sky Kingdom, Scarlet would send him out again, this time as an Icewing named Cirrus sent to work with Mudwing Crocodile to infiltrate the Talons of Peace for the Burning Alliance. She would bring Chameleon/Soar back for a short period to enchant a captured Prince Hailstorm, a powerful and charismatic warrior in the Sand-Ice Alliance, to ensure is hidden and not rescued. Scarlet would convince Chameleon/Soar to use it as a way to bring his daughter back, using it as a way to strengthen his loyalty to her; Permanently enchanting Hailstorm to physically be Pyrite and enchanting their necklace to replace Hailstorm's memories with Pyrite's. Scarlet would have Pyrite go with Chameleon/Cirrus to infiltrate the Talons as it would be suspicious if a dead princess was walking around. Cirrus would go on to ingrain Pyrite to never take her necklace off as it is keeping her alive.
During the latter years of the war, Scarlet would assist Blister in a gambit to get Whirlpool to take the place of King Gill next to Queen Coral for political gain. Scarlet would be tasked in capturing Gill but be left with the unfortunate task of making Whirlpool into a dragon that can swoon Coral, working with Nightwing Morrowseer in both tasks. With Scarlet holding Gill captive, she would make him into her pet project; Quite literally in fact as she would deprive him of water to make him insane, using him as a beast of a champion for the arena and for her own personal enjoyment.
As Scarlet's hatching day draws near, Morrowseer would pay a short visit and grant her a chance at some 'gifts'. Giving her directions on where to get them, leaving her to round up a group of guards to do so.
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Blister: Before the Succession War, Blister would be conniving brat that would scheme against her mother Oasis, the rest of her family and other dragons of her home; Ranging from simple pranks to being nearly fatal (the latter more targeted towards her sisters in an attempt to take them out as competition to the throne). Occasionally, Blister would help her siblings in hanging out behind their paranoid mother’s back (not joining them herself), if only to get at Oasis who would seek to mold the siblings into being caricatures of theme selves (attempting to make them not a threat to the throne). This would culminate in Blister not getting Burn to help Oasis in stoping Scavengers from stealing her treasure, instead going to the treasury to steal the eye of Onyx for herself (being rejected by it once she got it).
With her mother’s death, Blister would be the one to start the Succession War against her sister Burn; burying the Eye of Onyx (being believed to have been stolen by scavengers) within her mother’s grave and fleeing. Forming the Shoreside Alliance by manipulating Queen Coral and allying with the Kingdom of Sea, the same being done with High Queen Moorhen and the Mud Kingdom. Blister would also form a Secret Alliance with Queen Scarlet as a way to cause issues in the Burning Alliance and Advisor Whirlpool as a way to gain more power and influence in the Kingdom of Sea (as well as to help gain more influence in manipulating Coral herself). The Secret Alliance would later be joined by Nightwing Advisor Morrowseer.
During the early years of the War, Blister would create the Talons of Peace as one of its founders alongside Commander Tempest. (Tempest would later be assassinated after coming close to uncovering the Secret Alliance, leading to the Mud Kingdom being blamed and being cut out of the Shoreside Alliance. The Talons of Peace would also be ostracized from the Kingdom of Sea) The Talons of Peace themselves would have goal of ensuring the war ends with Blister on the throne, being pushed by the Dragonet Prophecy created by Morrowseer. (The Talons themselves having two groups of dragonets being raised for the prophecy, one hidden with the Talons themselves and another hidden elsewhere.)
During the latter years of the war, Blister would enact a plan to get Whirlpool on the Kingdom of Sea throne. Having Morrowseer ensure King Gill is captured and make it look like the Sky Kingdom solely did it with Scarlet holding the King Prisoner. Blister herself would work to convince Queen Coral to move on from Gill and give at least a chance at dating Whirlpool, giving both Scarlet and Morrowseer the unfortunate task of getting him to be a dragon that can swoon Coral into marrying him. They would succeed in getting Whirlpool and Coral married (the two even having a clutch of eggs with one to eventually hatch Auklet). With Whirlpool successfully married to Coral, Blister would use them both to manipulate the Kingdom into preferring herself and favor her ruling over the Royal Family.
When it is found out that Coral daughter Anemone has animus magic, Blister would seek to use Anemone and their magic for herself; Using her influence over Coral to keep an eye on Anemone without her mother in sight. With Coral generally being quite controlling and heavily restricting what Anemone can do with Whirlpool a very awful tutor that would undermine her use in animus magic at the behest of Coral (going somewhat against the rest of the Secret Alliance now that he has what he desires), Blister would work to ensure that Anemone is skilled in using Animus Magic as well as healthy and happy enough to use said magic to help Blister (along with ensuring she is knowledgeable on how animus magic works as well). Put simply, Blister would eventually become somewhat of a decent parent (much better than Coral) to achieve her goal and unintentionally becoming close to Anemone, becoming an exception in her life.
As the war nears its end, Blister would make preparation for the dragonet prophecy by having Morrowseer acquire the Dragonets of Destiny for the Dragonet Prophecy while she and Scarlet would cover up any traces to the Talons of Peace by wiping them out. (Their plans having to be enacted early due to the Burning Alliance enclosing in on victory over the Shoreside Alliance.)
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Stonemover & Thorn: During the early years of the Succession war, Stonemover would be closely guarded and restricted from moving around the Nightwing Island before it became desolate from the volcano first erupting (wiping out the vegetation and a majority of the Nightwing Islands inhabitants).
As an animus of the Nightwing Island, Stonemover would be tasked with creating an enchanted portal tunnel that would connect from the Island to the Rainforest and to the northern region of the Kingdom of Sand (being used for operations of the Secret Alliance). This would send Stonemover on a journey (as animus magic works differently) that  would lead him to traverse through the Kingdom of Sea and Mud Kingdom to get to the Rainforest where he would create the enchantment for the second part of the portal tunnel, continue on his journey through Jade Mountain into the Southern areas of the Kingdom of Sand where he would meet the traveling Sandwing Thorn who would help Stonemover travel up north (the two growing close along their journey). With Stonemover completing the third and final enchantment for the portal tunnel, he would choose to stay with Thorn where they would return back south away from the war (unaware of the conflict ahead).
During their early years together, Stonemover and Thorn would settle into the Scorpion Den to hide away; The two eventually meeting the deserter trio of Six-Claws, Kindle and Dune with the five of them forming a trusting friendship. Eventually Stonemover and Thorn would eventually have an egg, a joyous time that would turn in the days leading up to their egg hatching as Dune would suddenly flee with said egg. Stonemover would take charge after Dune, enchanting a skulk of foxes (bound by memories) in desperation of finding him; Something that would never come to pass as Dune would succeed in escaping. Feeling shamed for his failure and what he has done with his animus magic, Stonemover would put himself into isolation within the caverns of Jade Mountain; Enchanting his scales to turn to stone for all the enchantments he has created, only being kept alive in his now immobilized form by the skulk he enchanted caring for him (being changed by the enchantment and becoming something more). 
With Dune, her egg and Stonemover gone, Thorn would go on a desperate search for the three (bearing a growing hatred towards Dune for stealing her egg); Eventually focusing her efforts of finding her lost egg/dragonet, finding help and comfort in her friends Six-Claws and Kindle.
Thorn would eventually joining the newly formed Talons of Power in hopes of having a better chance of finding her dragonet (finding a friend among the Talons in an enchantment using Sandwing named Platyr from the Sky Kingdom). In time, Thorn would form a small group within the Talons, eventually splitting off from the Talons and becoming known as the Outclaws (being joined by Six-Claws in leading and Kindle in healing). Thorn would go on to conquer and somewhat restore the Scorpion Den in the wake of the Talons collapse with her Outclaws, eventually becoming an aunt to Six-Claws and Kindle’s daughter Ostrich. (Thorn would also go on to take one of Platyr’s sons from Cobra a few years after his disappearance, raising them as part of the Outclaws.)
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Blaze: During the early years of her life, Blaze wouldn’t really be the brightest; Preferring to go out and acquire treasures and odd gems for her own collection like her Big Sis Burn. (Got herself in-trouble at times cause of it, be it from her own foolishness or Blister playing a trick on her.) Blaze wouldn’t really be close to Oasis as a dragonet, instead being closer to her Big Sister Burn who would help care for Blaze after their father’s passing.
With the death of Oasis and Blister enacting war on Burn, Blaze would side with her sister Burn and wanting to help eventually acting as a spokesdragon for her sister who would stick to leading the front lines. To effectively do this Blaze would come to learn about the common folk of the Kingdom of Sand and its politics (not having interest in them before) with help from Princess Glacier who Blaze would grow close to. The two would come together to comfort each other in their grief after fleeing from Burn killing Glacier’s mother, Queen Harp (Glacier taking her mantle as Queen of the Ice Kingdom). Glacier would bear grief for the death of her mother and Blaze would bear grief for the sister she loves becoming a monster.
In the following years, Blaze and Glacier would grow closer to one another, eventually becoming romantic partners as they form the Sand-Ice Alliance with Glacier being the one to mainly lead. (Their relationship wouldn’t be commonly known as Ice Kingdom Queen’s don’t officially take a partner.) Eventually they would have their first daughter Crystal (being both a pure Icewing along with Glacier and Blaze as their biological parents thanks to some old Icewing Animus Gift, same with Snowfall and Mink) and bring with it a joyous event celebrated in Where-Sand-meets-Ice (a Sandwing/Icewing dominant town formed during the War, south of the Great Ice Cliff); said event unfortunately turned sour as it would be ambushed by a group of dragons (formed by the Secret Alliance) lead by Queen Battlewinner in an attempt to kill Blaze and eliminate her from the war. The attack would be pushed back as the Battlewinner’s forces would retreat with her being incapacitated from Ice Breath, though it would not be without loss, nor without impact.
Following her near assassination and Glacier nearly dying to protect her with many other (some less fortunate), Blaze would find the drive to take more of a leading role in the Sand-Ice Alliance; Taking a more direct approach in the war and growing into a dragon the Eye of Onyx would deem worthy of being queen. (Going through a bit of combat training as well for self-defense, not really liking the training but going through it non the less.)
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Narwhal & Tundra: Hatched around the time of the Sand-Ice Alliance forming, not knowing his mother Harp before she was killed by Burn. Narwhal would be distant from his sister Glacier who would be occupied with ruling the Ice Kingdom and Maintaining the Sand-Ice Alliance. Instead, he would be cared for by his brother Permafrost, learning to live by the beliefs of the Circle Rankings (eventually going on to push those beliefs onto his children), even personally making sure they were kept in order whenever Glacier was occupied elsewhere. Eventually he would meet Tundra who would allure Narwhal and eventually marry him.
Among the Icewings, Tundra would be both one of the more traditional and most disliked; Seeking to take control of the throne so she can return the Ice Kingdom back to what it was before the Succession War. Marrying Narwhal so she can gain a daughter that she could control to usurp Glacier and take the throne, using said daughter to enact her will. Something that wouldn’t come as soon as she wanted with their first hatch being their eldest son Hvitur (an eventual prodigy that would quickly prove himself).
Things would change when they would have a twin egg, hatching their twin sons Icicle with Aurora Ice (Fire Scale variant) and Winter a Ternwing (Twin Egg Subtribe). With Icicle having Aurora Ice, Tundra would have them be raised as a princess to take the throne (Tundra taking to ignoring her eldest) with Winter being neglected and berated by her and Narwhal for being a Ternwing. Something that would take a turn with Hailstorm being captured while taking Winter on a trip to get a scavenger, both Tundra and Narwhal would blame Winter (returning with only a scavenger). 
With Hailstorm captured, Narwhal would leave for the front lines of the War with Icicle in hopes of getting him back. Leaving Winter with Tundra who would continue to berate him without end (even destroying one of the limbs of his scavenger as punishment, expecting it to die from its wounds). Only after Glacier would send Winter to act as a herald (messenger) for Blaze would Tundra stop her tormenting her son, choosing to focus on other things with him gone.
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hansoeii · 10 months
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we go just right.
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fallenstarcat · 2 months
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sometimes i feel like people forget autism is a disability. and that’s not a bad thing! i’m all for disability acceptance, im proud of my disabilities. but i feel like we forget autism can hurt.
it hurts that i have to put more time and energy into socializing than others.
it hurts when i need to move so bad, usually cause im overwhelmed by either my surroundings or emotions, that i thrash and hurt myself.
it hurts that i cant be in places that are too loud or too bright, which on bad days can be as simple as a small, quiet noise or dim lights.
it hurts that i struggle to tell when im hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. so i can’t properly take care of myself. it doesn’t help my insomnia and i get very nauseas and get UTIs.
i 100% believe in autism acceptance. i don’t want a cure. but i also want us the acknowledge that it can hurt. it doesn’t mean my entire life will hurt, but some parts will. and i want a community where we can see both sides, see the hurt, and celebrate it anyway.
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bisclavaret · 11 months
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a day late to my 6 years on t anniversary ✨🏳️‍⚧️ a short comic about looking back
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babybluebanshee · 8 months
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So I finally got my water heater replaced after more than half a year of it leaking and nearly destroying my floor, but that's not the story. The story is of the handyman that installed it.
Dude's name is Chris, and he's your typically midwestern schlub - friendly, apologizes too much, really likes the Cardinals, maybe a little younger than my parents. Hella nice tho, gets the heater installed quickly, and even offers to fix the floorboards it warped (after nearly tripping over the hump it made in the floor twice). Overall, a stress-free experience.
Then, as he's gathering up his tools - "So, I noticed your, uh, banner. Over your bed."*
*(The closet where my water heater is is located in my bedroom because I live in a mobile home, dude wasn't just wandering creepily into my bedroom)
He's referring to a giant pride flag that's hanging over my bed, with the words "Sounds gay, I'm in"
My anxiety spikes instantaneously, thinking oh christ I'm about to get hatecrimed or at least microaggressioned.
But then he says "Yeah, my daughter is gay, and I was wondering, like...where do you guys, ya know, meet up?"
What.
"Because she met her most recent girlfriend when she was in jail, and I keep asking why she doesn't just find a nice lesbian librarian or something and she said 'dad I know they're out there, I just don't know where'. So...like...where do you?"
So I ended up confessing to this nice man who installed my water heater that I don't know of any real gay culture in our mostly Baptist Missouri town of about 18,000 that routinely freaks out over pride displays in the library (I'm sure it exists but I'm lazy and haven't gone looking for it). My girlfriend lives in an area with a rather bustling gay community (we just did a face painting booth for their pride festival a few weeks ago), so maybe have her go out there with some friends, and also a lot of queers I know play dnd so maybe find a nice group of them and network. I then apologized that I wasn't more helpful in getting his daughter settled with a nice, wholesome dyke.
On the plus side, he was not deterred at all, and seemed to be very interested in the fact dnd was so popular amongst the el gee bee tees. I told him the names of some dms I know and told him to go to town. I do not know if the names will be given to his daughter or hoarded for himself so he can join a group and play like he did when he was a teenager and not be called satanic for it.
He's coming to fix my floor next week.
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ionomycin · 11 months
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Mother of Pearl
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manyminded · 1 year
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shout out to “gross” disabled people.
people who can’t shower/bathe people who can’t shave people who can’t wash their clothes people who need help going to the bathroom people who have nasty habits (biting nails, picking nose, etc) people who can’t brush their teeth people who can’t go to the doctor people who can’t clean their room people who can’t make their beds people who vomit a lot people who wet the bed people who constantly have diarrhea people who’s physical deformities are seen as repulsive
and every other kind of person I missed that deserves to be here too.
you are people, first and foremost. your thoughts deserve to be heard, discussed, acknowledged, no matter what. you are not lesser. you are just another person. you should never be ignored for what you can/can’t do. you deserve care.
to abled people: check yourself. make sure you listen. and you can reblog, just don’t derail. maybe don’t add on, either.
EDIT: reblog this version instead, please.
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nerdgirlriot · 1 year
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There's a house on my way home that has one of those Home Depot 12 ft. skeletons and they haven't taken it down since Halloween, just dressed it up in holiday-appropriate wear and of course for June it's all about Pride so please allow your dash to be blessed by 12 ft. Pride Skeleton
EDIT: Oct. 2023 Apparently this house is now for sale. Godspeed Pride Skeleton.
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etoilesdeglace · 4 months
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One day. One day when he's ready. When he knows who he is, and where he belongs. And fate has revealed to him his true path. On that day, I'll be right by his side.
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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corvidinthewoods · 5 months
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i love you “boring” trans people. i love you trans people who prefer to keep your transition or exact feelings on gender private. i love you trans people who dont want to be leaders or activists or role models. i love you trans people who just wish to live your lives. i love you trans people who read books quietly or go to work and chat. i love you trans people with “boring” or “normal” lives
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buttersteps · 11 months
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ayo edebiri: the movie reviewer we deserve
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and her dad also has an account
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shadesofgayness · 9 months
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Gay month is GO
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okayto · 1 year
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Hey, this pride month (or literally any time of year), you wanna know something fairly easy and great you can do?
Contact your local library (or comment on their social media) positively for any pride/LGBTQIA+/queer-related displays or events they have going on.
Seriously.
What I’m seeing and hearing from the (mostly US-based) library workers in my groups and social circles is that the anti-queer (anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-drag queen story time, etc.) comments and complaints that have ramped up in the past year aren’t going away. Even library workers with supportive coworkers/bosses/boards are steeling themselves to deal with an avalanche of garbage, or are second-guessing their displays and events because the amount of vitriol can wear a person down so much. And the ones without supportive people or work environments? It’s worse.
Give the library something else: give them both the ammo (by being one of the numbers they can count worth the positive group) if they need to show their community isn’t wholly negative. Give them the compliment of knowing that their work got appreciated.
A comment like “I love this” or “Wow, that looks great!”
An email about how much you’re excited about X event
A call saying you wanted to let them know you appreciate this thing
Tagging them if you share a picture or positive comment on social media
“Cool shirt/pins/etc!” (Because people are also bring harassed about personally being queer, even if it’s not a library display)
Literally anything that would be positive for them to receive
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mangogulp · 6 months
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𝑴-𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉
𝑾-𝒊𝒅𝒆.
𝑶-𝒑𝒆𝒏
MWO: Slang used for sexual intention.
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