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fangirlies · 1 year

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Mission accomplished- (x.t)

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader

Summary: You only had one mission. That was to get Enid and Ajax to ask each other to the Rave'n. But you couldn't achieve it without a particular tortured artist's help.

Warnings: fluff. some cursing. (Please let me know if i should be aware of anything else)

Word count: 2k

Is there such thing as too much fluff? with me, never. Feedback is always welcomed! (It’ll make me feel better about spending the whole day on this writing) enjoy friends!

Tortured artist hm’ you thought to yourself. Why was he known as a tormented and mysterious guy? What was his story? The entire quad blurred, and the only thing you appeared to focus on was the tall brunette boy concentrating on his mural. It was beautiful you must admit. He appeared to be completely immersed in his painting. It wasn’t the first time you saw him completely fixated on his work. And it definitely wasn’t the first time you noticed him.

“Um hello… earth to y/n!” You heard snapping as you focused on Enid rather than the boy who had suddenly become a fixture in your mind.

"Yes yes, I heard you. I think you should definitely ask Ajax to the Rave'N" you weren't entirely paying attention to your best friend's 10 minute rant about reversing roles and taking pride in asking a guy to the dance for a change, but you picked up a few things here and there before your mind wandered elsewhere. Something to do with feminism? You weren't sure, but it seemed like a good idea.

You knew both Enid and Ajax had feelings for each other. In fact, everyone knew but they seemed to be the only ones who couldn’t see it. Isn't that cliche? The boy likes the girl. The girl likes the boy. They were naïve to the fact that their nerves were standing in the way of everything.

As Enid's best friend since the day you started at Nevermore, you were well aware of her crush on Ajax. It was adorable. She stared at him as if he were the only one who could complement her loud personality. She couldn't get enough of him, so you made it your goal to ensure Enid gets a happy ending. You knew she deserved it the most.

You weren’t thrilled about this Rave’N dance the school was hosting. As an outcast in your old normie school, you never got to experience these kind of things. You weren't planning to start now, no matter how much Enid pleaded.

"Are you sure it won't make me look desperate? I don’t want to ruin things with him.” Her brow wrinkled in intensity. You knew how much this meant to her.

"I don't think so, E; I think he'll be glad!" You reassured her while comforting her shoulder. "You have two and a half days to gather the courage to ask him," you said, smiling as you collected your books from the table and tossed them into your book bag.

------

The school bell rung, indicating the end of the day's final class. It also marked the start of your master plan. Mission: "Get E and A in the same room... alone."

“Psst hey, Xavier!” You really had no idea why you were whispering in the hallway. There was no one around you anymore as you tried to catch up to the tall and lanky boy. Xavier glanced around, a puzzled expression on his face. Sure, your two best friends were madly in love, but that didn't necessarily mean you and Xavier had to be friends. Acquaintances? Sure. Give each other a quick smile and a nod as you pass in the hallways? Fine. Meet in an empty corridor after class? Never.

"Hey," you finally got to him. Breathing heavily. Your gaze wandered over the attractive boy in front of you as you attempted to recover your breath. Man, he sure was perfect - even from up close. His sage-colored eyes drew you in. His long brown hair had been pulled back into a low bun. Free of imperfections, you thought.

"Did you have a question for me?" The 6-foot giant catches your attention by waving his hands. You shook your head, hoping to clear your mind of your thoughts of him. You were on a mission and were losing sight of it.

"I'm sorry." You took a second look around to make sure the coast was clear. "Enid has been dying for Ajax to invite her to the Rave'n. We all know Ajax is too pussy to ask her. So, I'm thinking we could finally force them to ask each other. tonight. The night shade library. Tell Ajax to meet you there and I’ll do the same with E. This needs to work or I'll spend the next few days listening to her overthink. So, what do say?” Repeating the plan out loud did sound crazy but you didn’t care. You wanted to see your best friend happy.

For a few moments, the boy was deafeningly silent. Perhaps you did sound a little insane.

"I'll do anything to stop hearing Ajax talk about his massive crush on her. I can’t take it anymore. I'm glad to hear that you're in the same boat as me. How does 7:30 sound to you?" Your expression brightened as your scheme began to take shape. Half of your grin was caused by the fact that this was your longest conversation with Xavier.

You two exchanged phone numbers to ensure the success of your plan. You both decided on the excuse you'd give and the time. Everything seemed to be going according to plan.

It was now 7:15 p.m.

From x.t- 7:15 A and X headed to nsl

With these code phrases, you couldn't help but chuckle. He was taking his role seriously. Gosh, he was so stupid.

To x.t- 7:16 Copy that, x. E is wrapping up and we’ll be headed your way

You continued his silly game and stuck your phone in your back pocket.

“Hey E, just wanted to say thanks for coming with me to the library. I really need that book for an essay, and I was scared to go alone," you continued your lie, resting against the bathroom door frame.

“Of course! What are best friends for if not to scare monsters away with their colorful claws?" Enid remarked, extending her sharp claws of various colors. She'll forgive your lie once she realizes what the night has in store for her.

After slipping out of your dorm room and into the hallway, the two of you discussed the latest school gossip.

To x.t- 7:28 E and I are about to enter. remember our plan.

You hit send as the Edgar Allen Poe statue came to vision. Enid snapped her fingers twice, causing the statue to recoil and reveal a stairwell leading to the library. To Enid's surprise, she found herself face to face—no, face to chest—with Xavier.

“What the heck are you doing here?” She inquired.

"What exactly are YOU doing here?" You were amused by Xavier's stab at reverse psychology. He didn't even wait for the blonde girl to respond before walking away and vanishing into the quad.

"God, he's always so weird," she sneered as she walked down the stairs. You weren't following her down again, much to her dismay. Instead, the statue had been closed. Keeping the poor girl from fleeting.

"She'll thank me later," you reasoned as you dusted your hands. The rest of the night was up to them; your work here was already done. You started walking back to the quad and immediately jumped up in fear as you turned the corner.

“Did it work?” The towering boy emerged. He stuck around to see if your plan was a hit or miss.

You smacked his chest for inadvertently scaring you. "Yes, scaring me worked." You shrieked as you placed your palm over your heart, hoping to slow its pulse.

The giant laughed at your theatrics, revealing his perfectly white teeth. You realized that was the first time you'd ever seen him laugh. He was sexy when he wore the mysterious "bad boy" look, but this was a new look for him that you admired even more. His laughter had to be contagious. You started to laugh at this point, causing your cheeks to grow a crimson pink.

“Yes, E and A are both in position” you joked with a stern voice. Xavier nodded and walked up to a picnic table in the quad. You didn't fall far behind. He sat on the table, staring up at the sky. The quad possessed a glass ceiling, making it ideal for stargazing. You sat in the typical student seating rather than where your meal should have been put.

“You see that bright tiny circle up there?” Xavier gestured to the dark sky. You squinted your eyes and followed the path of his finger.

“Is that a star?” You questioned. "It's Venus," he explained. “Because Venus's orbit lies closer to the Sun than the Earth's, it tends to get lost in the Sun's glare. It's only visible for a few months of the year- when it's the furthest away from the Sun."

You stared at Venus in awe. It made you smile since it gleamed brighter than the other stars in the night sky. You returned your attention to Xavier, who was still gazing passionately at the planet. The fact that he was so familiar with the topic warmed your heart.

"Did you know it gets its name from the Roman goddess? It's the planet of love, beauty, and art," he says, his attention now fixed on you. When his gaze fell on you, you swore your heart skipped a beat. For a split second you wondered if you were dreaming. Or if this was a scene from The Notebook.

“How do you know all this?” You inquired. Moving alongside him on top of the picnic table.

Xavier shrugged his shoulders and turned to face Venus. "I know little about everything. I can't really tell you how I know things." The mysterious boy spoke up. Tonight was unexpected. Surprising was a better word to describe it. You never imagined it would turn out this way. You and Xavier talking, let alone star gazing. It was all strange and yet soothing at the same time. You felt safe next to him.

“Anyway, are you going to the Rave’n?” He leaned back on the table and ran his fingers through his hair, clearing it from his face.

“Me? nah, that's only for the pretty girls who have guys lining up and begging them to be their date. My mission was just to convince Enid to go." You stated the truth. You had no intention of going. Regardless of how much Enid tried to persuade you. You knew it was only a competition for guys to show up with the hottest date and for girls to show up with their finest dress. Not your scene.

“As a pretty girl yourself - I’m a little surprised you don’t have guys begging you to be their date,” he said standing up. You lowered your head to keep him from seeing the flush on your cheeks and the faint smile that threatened to leave your mouth. Did he call you pretty?

He stood in front of your seated body. Hands shoved deep in the pockets of his hoodie. You could see the cheeky smile he was now giving you as you raised your head.

“What?” Your brow wrinkled as you questioned. Small smile still trying to poke through.

"Well," he said, looking behind him. "I guess I'm first in line."

You drew your brows even closer together and tilted your head. You didn’t understand.

"Would you be willing to go with me to the dance?"

Yup. Definitely like a scene from The Notebook. You eventually cracked a smile, and you didn't care if he could see the blazing red hue on your face. Although you weren't interested in these events, how could you refuse Xavier Thorpe? THE tortured artist.

"I'd - I'd enjoy that, X," you murmured, giggling slightly. The smile that made your heart sink reappeared on his face.

“You guys are assholes!” A familiar voice came from the opposite direction. You focused your attention on the gorgon and the blonde girl approaching you. “I was absolutely shitting myself when you left me alone in there” Enid playfully tickled your sides when you found your way off the table you were previously sitting at.

Ajax had his arm around Enid's shoulder. You and Xavier exchanged a quick glance as you realized what must have happened. Knowing that your mission was successful.

"Soooo. . ?" Xavier pressed, seeking the answer we already knew.

Ajax chuckled and lowered his head. “Yes man, I asked her to be my girlfriend”

A loud squeal escaped your mouth as you hugged Enid. The two of you were jumping up and down like girls in middle school when their crush passed by them in the halls.

"Wait," Enid said quickly, turning to face her partner, "does this mean we're going to the Rave'n together?" You three were laughing at her. Of course, it meant they were going together, but to be fair, she was excited and couldn't think straight. Her boyfriend nodded while rolling his eyes and returned his arm on her shoulders.

"Well, I guess we'll see you there," Xavier said, his gaze melting you.

"Wait, wait, wait, you two?" Enid extended two fingers in the direction of you and Xavier. Her expression was priceless.

"Are you going to the Rave'n? Together?” Ajax added. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he'd stoned himself based on the shocked look on his face.

Both you and Xavier nodded your heads, a silly grin on your faces. It was now Enid's turn to shriek and draw you in for a hug.

“Oh. My. Goodness. My bestest friend and my boyfriend's best friend? We're going on a double date? I can't believe this! I've got to tell Wednesday, she called it from the minute y/n transferred here."

Enid couldn't stop raving about this "double date" for the following two days. You and Xavier joked at the fact that your mission was accomplished, but it came with a new never-ending topic to annoy you with.

Authors note: Quick! guess my favorite planet and why! I started this december 11 and got tired of packing last night so i finished it so i can feed you girlies before i leave on my trip.

As always— requests are always open! Share your thoughts! Talk to me! Get something off your mind! ✨

#wednesday #wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe fanfic #xavier thorpe fluff #xavier thrope imagine #imagine #percy hynes white #xavier thorpe blurb #xavier thorpe fic #xavier thorpe x reader #fangirlieswriting

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lazarusemma · 2 years

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I keep seeing people say they "don't see" Dracula's antisemitism (and racism, but as I am a white Jew, this post is about antisemitism - there are other, better analyses about the racism present in the text, which are written by people who are not me, some of which I have reblogged if you care to find them)

like okay! so you can read about an Eastern European man, famous for drinking blood, being compared to a lizard and plotting to invade Western spaces, repelled by a symbol of Christianity — and not see it? it is a privilege to be able to read this book without immediately seeing the antisemitism in it.

it is no one's fault for not being trained to pick up on these stereotypes/dogwhistles. if you have read this book before without spotting the antisemitism, that is NOT a moral failing. but if you have seen/heard Jewish people calling out the antisemitism in this book, it is pretty fucking rich to remain ignorant of where that is present in the text. do your research or stop posting about not getting it.

this being tumblr, there's obviously been an emphasis on homoerotic readings of the text, which makes it worth noting here the ways in which homophobia and antisemitism overlap in the character of Dracula himself, considering the history of both Jewish and gay men being emasculated/feminized. this is an instance where intersectionality is crucial as an analytic lens, to fully understand the social and historical context of the text.

you do not need to center your readings of a text on its bigotries. but if you do not at least understand where they are present, you run the risk of perpetuating them yourself.

Edit: if you're about to add on about the lizard thing originating later, please check the notes [EDIT: HERE], as I have already responded to this! Thanks.

#i say this as someone who is also enjoying the book club and the memes. don't 'let people enjoy things' @ me #dracula #dracula daily #antisemitism #jumblr #em og post #tumblr nerfed this post the first time around #edited to add

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returnofthelightt · 3 months

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Hasta & The Final Girl Trope In Horror Films: A (Mini) Analysis

Here on this post, I wanted to make a short analysis on how I think Hasta connects to the The Final Girl Trope.

☆ Please note that the Final Girl Trope actually has evolved. The trope characters are not what it used to be, I will be going back to the original origins of this trope.

☆ In addition to the Hasta Nakshatra, I found that many of the women playing have Mula, Revati and Mrigashira as well. My research today only focuses on Hasta but please note it is not limited to this Nakshatra only.

☆ Many of these references that are used are personal opinions and theories. If you do not agree or have a different opinion I would love to hear it! But please be respectful in doing so.

The Final Girl Trope

The Trope Itself

Before diving deeper into the hasta Nakshatra, let’s look at the ‘Final Girl’ trope description.

The final girl in movies is usually the last person standing or is the only woman that can make exit in the movie. They are usually described as being the virgin or sexually unavailable, refraining from sexual activities, as well as alcohol and drugs. Additionally, many of the Final girls portrayed had Brunette her instead of Blonde (blonde characters - specifically women, were perceived as highly promiscuous). If not all the time, most of the final girls are known to be more intelligent or at least carry smarter decision-making. They are the first ones to sense that something is ‘off.’ As mentioned before, Hasta’s sign of Virgo, is ruled by Mercury (Mercury exalts in Virgo). Mercury rules human intellect, as it is a combination of the sun (the soul) and the moon (mind).

If we look at even the basics, the sign of Virgo is ‘The Virgin.’ Virgin women are often stereotypically described along the lines of being pure, innocent, chaste, and so forth.

Additionally, the women have an androgynous appearance - with their names and clothing sometimes being unisex. Claire Nakti in her Hasta Nakshatra video discussed how they manifest their traits through purity and by detaching from male influence. Claire also talks about how “Hasta women like to prove their worth without needing men, as well as female power separated from female appearance/sexuality” (this can be depicted in numerous ways such as their work, appearance and so forth). Hasta picks up all external influences, analyzes them, and discriminates based on their observations. Hasta picks out men and realizes only the divinity is deserving of her.

It’s hard to exactly state if The Final Girl trope exudes the real meaning of feminism, or at least women standing up for themselves against evil. However, I wonder if Hasta’s appearance in these films unconsciously aims to reject the typical views that some males hold of women (i.e. unintelligence), and how his perception of the Final Girl often ends up with the evil male lead having to disappear to avoid being killed or eventually is killed. Claire Nakti also mentioned how many Hasta women are involved in using books or poems to criticize male behaviour, male sexuality the struggles of women opening up, and the promotion of female independence regarding intellect. The Final Girl in the film must use her wit to decipher the situation and defeat the Killer through the use of her hands.

If we decipher Carol J Clover’s book on the Final Girl trope, she does mention how the victims in Slasher films are mostly viewed as women, whereas the evil characters are males. Often these Final Girls are initially stereotyped for the male gaze at the beginning of the film, but eventually, the viewer roots for the final girl to defeat the monster. The woman becomes ‘masculinized’ when she is forced to defeat the monster by utilizing a weapon.

Carol further emphasizes this action while discussing how the killing of the monster/killer can be related to ‘castrating’ the male, which in return eliminates the ‘threat’ to the uterine. The body part that represents Hasta’s is the palm of their hand. The Hasta Nakshatra is known for manifesting outcomes with their hands. In Komilla’s Sutton book, she describes how Hasta can be related to elephants, as they use their trunk as an extra hand to complete their task. I thought this was interesting considering the quote ‘to hold something/someone in the palm of your hand,’ pretty much means you the influence or control of something/someone. The symbolism of the hand of course can be also correlated to their Deity, Savitar - The Sun God. Savitar was known to be skillful with his hands.

In all, I do think Hasta has some correlation with the Final Girl Trope, whether it would be in films or tv shows. I do think there are many of factors (my own personal ones) and others that are discussed in Clover's book. It wasnt that long, but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! Feedback would be greatly appreciated xx.

#astrology #vedic astrology #vedic astro observations #vedic astro notes #astro observations #hasta #nakshatra #mercury

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mysterious-ocarina · 11 months

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amazing work! consider this… gn reader is chuuyas coworker who’s emotionless and keeps their distance from him and their colleagues… chuuya starts to like them but doesn’t know how to bridge the gap…. and on a mission with chuuya, (there was only one bed!!) an asphrodiac gets put in their drink… so they come to him begging him to help them because they don’t know what to do… and fluff and smut ensues!!

Because You Want Me To (NSFW)

Chuuya Nakahara x fem!reader

A/N Im so sorry, i really meant to keep it gn but then i just got caught up with the feminism idea cuz i mean come on, theres no way chuuya isnt a woman respecter. I also was not sure how to write gn smut. If you dont like it, i can totally write it again but definitely gn and less feminism involved. Pls lmk also pls tell me what termonology to use for. . . certain body parts cuz lately everything just sounds wrong

please give me recommendations for books to use as abilities or just abilities in general for bsd content

Main Masterlist BSD Masterlist Requests AO3

(4.0k words)

Sitting hunched over your desk filling out paperwork was getting real old, really quick. You sighed as you leaned back in your chair. Some may call you a workaholic but you were simply strong-willed and determined. Growing up the way you did, you learned to be very independent and how to make your own spot in the world. You joined the Port Mafia at the age of sixteen and have worked the hardest you could to be the strongest.

Your ability did not give you a fighting advantage but you did have a clairvoyant advantage. You were able to speak to animals and your pet raven was your second pair of eyes and ears. It was a normal occurrence for people to see you walking around the halls with Ace clinging to your shoulders. More often than not, he was your partner on missions considering you preferred to work alone.

Becoming an Executive to the Port Mafia was hard work but there wasn’t anything that you would allow to stand in your way. You were very feared and very respected, which is exactly how you like it. You only conversed with your coworkers when it was needed. You were here to do your job, not make pointless relations with coworkers. It was pretty easy for you to avoid interactions with most people in the Port Mafia. The only exceptions were the boss and the other executives, one in particular.

Chuuya Nakahara was. . . different. You weren’t really sure what it was (you do but you’re in denial) but there is something about him that makes him more bearable than anyone else in the mafia that you’ve met. Whenever you were paired together for missions, which was pretty often, he always pulled his weight. There were times when you were paired with people who just wouldn’t do the job they were assigned to do because of egos or whatever. It bothered you to no end when you had to pick up their slack. Chuuya was a great mafioso and incredibly strong which was something you greatly respected.

You still did your best to avoid him, outside of missions. There was no reason why someone, let alone a man, should distract you from your job.

Ace squawked next to you, breaking you from your thoughts. Is something the matter?

You chuckled, thinking about how your best friend was a raven and that he knew you well enough. You brushed him off, “Nothing’s the matter.”

Ace left the perch by the window and landed on your armrest. He nipped your arm with his beak before squawking again. I bet I know exactly what you're thinking about.

Stupid bird, you thought as you glared at him. “Shut your beak.”

Ace climbed to your shoulder as a knock was heard on your office door. You muttered "come in" before Chuuya made an appearance. He walked in, fashionable as ever, and closed the door behind him. He looked a bit fidgety and you had to stop yourself from asking him if he was okay. It was none of your concern.

“I’ve got good and bad news,” Chuuya said as a greeting, straight to the point, something that gave him a point in your head, not that you were keeping track of stuff he did that you liked.

You raised your eyebrow at him, motioning for him to continue. He sat down and placed his hat in his lap. Pulling a small bag from his jacket pocket, he dumped an assortment of nuts in a bowl on your desk for Ace. You tried really hard to stop a smile from covering your face but your lips slightly curled up. A point for him.

Ace hopped from your shoulder, squawking. I like him.

Your smile faded at his smug tone, snapping, “Well, no one asked for your opinion.”

Chuuya gazed at the both of you, “Does he not like them?”

“That’s not it. You had news?” you questioned, changing the subject.

Immediately Chuuya got serious and professional. Another point. “Yes. The good news is that we have a mission together. Just simple intel gathering.”

You were glad it was only intel and not a fight because you weren’t in the mood to fight anyone. That doesn’t mean it would go smoothly. If you weren’t careful, intel gathering could turn nasty incredibly quick. You stared back at Chuuya, “What’s the bad news?”

Chuuya looked at you, apologetically, “We’ll need to stay overnight and I know you hate overnight missions. The event we are going to is hours away and by the time it’s over, it will be too late at night to get back. Mori already booked us a hotel room.”

You sighed and ignored the fact that he knew you wouldn’t be happy. Rubbing your temples, you asked, “When are we leaving? I’ll read the files in the car.”

That’s how you found yourself, riding passenger in one of the mafia’s cars. The back window was open for Ace to come and go as he pleased, something Chuuya did before you had to even ask. Another point. You spent the entire drive reading over the files for subjects and information you were supposed to be looking for tonight. You could tell that Chuuya wanted to talk to you as a way to pass the time but you kept your head in the files, refusing to let him distract you.

You joined the mafia around the same time as him but you never interacted with him, or anyone for that matter. It wasn’t until you were both executives when you would be paired for missions and forced to get to know each other. You didn’t hate getting to know him but you kept the talk about yourself to a minimum.

When you first became an executive, there were rumors going around that you had slept with the boss to make it to where you were. You know, the typical rumors that follow a powerful woman. The rumors didn’t outwardly bother you, “let dickbags believe whatever they want” you would always say if someone asked you about it. But when you found out that the only people who didn’t believe the rumors were Kouyou and Chuuya, you felt a sense of security in your position. Kouyou understood the difficulty of being a woman in power and Chuuya. . . well you weren’t too sure why he didn’t believe the rumors.

“What?” he muttered. You must have been staring at him for too long because he was looking at you with a red face, embarrassed maybe.

“When I first became an executive, why didn’t you believe the rumors that I slept my way there,” you asked, blunt and intrigued.

He seemed very surprised by your question, stammerings, “I-I don’t know. Why would. . .”

He paused for a bit, seeming unsure what to say. You just stared at him, an impassive expression on your face.

He sighed, keeping his focus on the road instead of you, “Do you really think I’m that immature to believe rumors like that?”

You sensed a little insecurity in his voice but ignored it. You replied, “It’s not like I gave you any reason to believe I wouldn’t. You didn’t know me.”

“You didn’t give me a reason to believe that you would either.”

You paused, unsure of how to respond. Being a woman in a male dominant field was difficult and it seemed that Chuuya understood how baseless those kinds of rumors could be. Another point.

Facing the window, you spoke up, “I didn’t. Just so you know.”

“I know,” he replied without hesitation.

You didn’t fight the smile that formed on your face this time. You just hoped Chuuya couldn’t see it because you were facing the other way.

He did and he will cherish the image forever.

By the time you got to the hotel, you were significantly less unhappy about the assignment you had been given, not that you outwardly showed it. Something about your conversation with Chuuya in the car sparked something within you. Your denial of how much you cared for the red head next to you was melting away. Usually this would bother you but you had a feeling that Chuuya or the feelings you hold for him will not get in your way of your job, which brought you great comfort and security. It looked like Chuuya respected you and your work ethic.

Chuuya grabbed your guy’s bags as you made your way into the hotel and to the front desk to check in.

Politely, you greeted, “Hello, there should be a room reserved for me.”

The pretty receptionist gave you a kind smile and when Chuuya came up beside you, she gave him a sweeter one. She kept staring at Chuuya, making him blush, “What name will it be under?”

Haughtily, you replied, “Ougai Mori. It’s for my partner and I.”

Calling Chuuya your partner wasn’t wrong, he was your partner for this mission. But you knew that the receptionist would take it the wrong way, which brought you a little bit of satisfaction.

She looked at you with a forced smile. She handed you your key cards before dismissing you, “Room 115, it’s at the end of the hall on the left.”

You gave her a smug smile, “Thank you.”

You walked through the hall in search of your room, Chuuya trailing behind you. He walked beside you, giving you a look, “What was that?”

You kept walking, face empty, “What was what?”

“Back there, with the receptionist. You guys were being passive aggressive with each other. Is there some kind of woman thing I'm not understanding?” Chuuya asked, confused.

You briefly glanced at him and shrugged, only replying, “Sure.”

He sighed next to you but decided against asking about it anymore, knowing you wouldn’t answer him how he wanted.

Unlocking the room door, the both of you made your way into.

“Shit,” you explained. The room that the two of you would be staying in tonight only had a single bed.

Chuuya sighed next to you and asked, “Want me to go to the front desk?”

Not wanting him to interact with the receptionist, you shook your head, “No, we can figure it out later. I’m going to shower and get ready for the event.”

Chuuya placed both your bags on the bed and rifled through his, “I’ll get the garment bags from the car with our outfits in them.”

You were already in the bathroom in the shower when you heard Chuuya come back into the room. You also heard a little kawing so you assumed he let Ace into the room. A point.

You spent a lot of time in the bathroom after you finished your shower. In the shower, images of Chuuya were flooding your mind. You had to keep reminding yourself that he was just in the other room and you shouldn’t do anything unprofessional. Even if your cunt prickled with neediness.

Eventually realizing that Chuuya will want to shower too, you calmed your body down and left the bathroom. You had dried your hair and done all of your makeup but didn’t have the dress you were wearing. Covered in only a towel, you walked over to the garment bag on the bed.

While looking at his phone, Chuuya said to you, “That bag is yours. I talked to Mori and it looks like it was an error in the hotel system. He advised that we just keep the room as is.”

Chuuya ran a hand through his hair, annoyed, and looked up at you. He blushed when he noticed that you were only in a towel and averted his gaze. He muttered, “I can sleep on the floor.”

You glared at the back of his head, “I won’t make you sleep on the dirty floor. We can figure out the sleeping arrangements when we get back. Now go get dressed, I do not want to attract unwanted attention for being late.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Chuuya replied with a smirk. You sighed in faux annoyance with a blush on your face as he silently made his way to the bathroom with his garment bag.

You slipped into the dress. It was tight fitting but not uncomfortable with a slit up your thigh. It was also an alluring shade of red which made you immediately think of Chuuya. For a second, you were curious how he would react seeing you in this dress but you shook the thoughts from your head.

You sat at the desk and mirror set up in the room to do your hair and makeup for the night, taking note that Chuuya seemed to be taking an awfully long time in the shower. You put your brush down and went to the bathroom door to ask if Chuuya was okay. But right before you were going to ask, you heard a sound that had you shutting up and blushing. It sounded like Chuuya was groaning and saying your name.

You backed up until the back of your legs hit the bed and sat down. Was Chuuya. . . masturbating in the shower? Thinking about you, no less? You were thankful that Ace wasn’t in the room to squawk and add to your embarrassment.

You were extremely flustered but flattered that Chuuya thought of you that way. It offered you comfort to know that you weren’t alone in thinking unprofessionally of your partner. Maybe after the mission was over, you would have the chance to talk to Chuuya about the possibility of expanding your relationship. But for now, you need to get your head out of the gutter and focus on your job.

When Chuuya finally came out of the bathroom, he was looking especially handsome in his suit. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at you. When he saw your crossed legs and the slit of the dress exposing your thigh, he thought he might faint. Red in the face he coughed, “You look beautiful.”

You thought it was really endearing that he wouldn’t look you in the eye. “Thank you. You clean up pretty nicely as well.”

You did your best to not stare at him but you could feel the tension between you guys building. You grabbed the necklace you were going to wear and placed it into Chuuya’s hand. “Could you put this on for me?”

You turned around, not waiting for an answer. Chuuya, ever so slowly, wrapped the small chain around your neck and clasped it. He pulled your hair out from under it and set it back in place cascading down your back. His hand lightly grazed your neck and you failed to contain the shivers that went through your body.

You quickly turned back around and ignored the butterflies in your stomach. You stared at Chuuya’s face, finding adoration covering it.

“Let’s go, handsome,” you announced, now nervous of your distracting partner.

“Yes ma’am,” Chuuya repeated, a smile painted on his face. You turned and walked out the door not bothering to hide the small smile that appeared on your face.

This had to be the hardest mission you’ve ever been on. Now it wasn’t really intellectually hard, intel gathering was as simple as knowing how to charm others into talking about whatever you wanted. But at some point you couldn’t focus on any conversations you were a part of, Chuuya having to pick up your slack, something that would have bothered you to no end if you didn’t feel the way you did right now.

With his arm around your waist, Chuuya pulled you to one of the tables and chairs scattered about the event. He sat you down and grabbed the champagne glass from your hands, “I wouldn’t pin you as a lightweight.”

Your face was flush and your entire body felt like it was on fire, “I’m not drunk, Chuuya. Something is wrong.”

Chuuya stared at you worriedly but you couldn’t stand to look at him. You could barely stand to have his arm around you and standing so close to you. Anywhere his skin touched yours sent shivers down your spine and the smell of him was driving you crazy. Vanilla and Sandalwood. You clenched your thighs, hoping to relieve the tension that was forming in your bottom half.

“Shit,” you exclaimed when you figured out what happened. Your breathing was extremely labored as you explained, “I-I need you to take me to the hotel. . . and lock me in the room for the night. Some. . . one must have drugged me, I’ll explain more later. Did you get all the information we needed?”

“Yes, we should have everything we need. What’s going on?” Chuuya asked, voice a bit tense.

He put his arm around your waist to help you up and it took everything in you to not moan at the feeling of his touch. You couldn’t muster up the strength to speak as he brought you outside and to the car. He started driving back to the hotel, looking at you every few seconds to see if you were alright. The way he was worried about you was making your head spin with adoration and your thighs clench with lust.

Panting, you replied, “I think someone knew we were there and drugged me as a distraction. I think I’ve been given an aphrodisiac.”

Chuuya stared at your panting and sweaty body, beyond confused, “What kind of drug is that? You better not be dying on me?”

At the hotel, Chuuya brought you back to the room and laid you on the bed. He seemed antsy and a bit annoyed that you weren’t answering him.

You put him out of his misery by explaining, “An aphrodisiac is a drug that. . . in simple terms makes the victim like an animal in heat.”

You writhed in the bed, sweat dripping off of you. You so badly wished that Chuuya would just shut up and take care of your neediest spots but it looks like you won’t get what you want just yet.

Staring at you, a blushing mess, Chuuya questioned, “How do you know that’s what you’ve been given?”

You groaned, annoyed with having to deal with this. Inappropriate thoughts of your partner were flooding your mind and making it almost impossible for you to pay attention to his line of questioning. “Because. . . Chuuya. I can’t get the thought of you and that pretty face of yours out of my head. All I want to do right now is push you down on this bed and ride you until I pass out.”

You basically moaned at the flustered look Chuuya was giving you. After a few labored breaths you spoke up again, “Now. I heard you in the shower so I know you want me.”

Unable to bear it any longer, you stripped off your dress. Now fully naked in front of Chuuya. He coughed again but looked away, “I would only want to have sex with you if it was because you wanted me to and not some drug making you. That’s not fair to you.”

Chuuya turned around and just before he was about to walk away, you grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket, “Trust me. This is not how I would have wanted this to go but-” you paused, finding the words stuck in your mouth. You moaned again when Chuuya’s fingers slipped into yours, unable to contain yourself, “I really do want you Chuuya. And I know you have enough respect for me to not ruin our relationship or my relationship with my work.”

Chuuya stared at you, flustered and undeniably hard but unsure of what to do. You took the final step by pulling his arm, forcing him to fall on top of you. You grabbed the back of his head to pull him closer to you. He didn’t resist as you slotted your lips into his.

It was a ferocious kiss that was filled with lust, passion, and neediness. You ran your hands through Chuuya’s hair and down his front making him groan into your mouth. You tried to pull the belt from his pants but your hands were too shaky. You whined when he pulled your hands away from him and brought them to rest above you. He used one hand to hold yours in place and the other to undo his pants.

Chuuya chuckled, “If you need me that bad, how come you can’t even get my pants off of me?”

“Stop teasing, please Chuuya,” you begged, moaning when he brought his mouth back down to yours.

Chuuya got off of you and stood in front of you and the bed. He sighed, content, “I’ve been waiting for this forever. I don’t know if it’s obliviousness or stubbornness that kept you away from me.”

You couldn’t help but stare at the man in front of you as he stripped, breathlessly you replied, “A bit of both. . . But no more.”

Chuuya gave you a dazzling smile, climbing back on top of you. He laid kisses down your stomach as he spoke, “No more.”

You whined as he laid kiss after kiss on your body, wanting more. He finally took his hands and soothingly rubbed your thighs, “Do you want me to touch you?”

“Yes, Chuuya. Please just do what you want to me. I’ll take anything,” you begged, desperate to be touched by him.

Instead of teasing you further like you thought he would, Chuuya gets to work pleasuring you. Moving his hands from your thighs, Chuuya brings them to your dripping cunt. Slowly but surely, he presses two fingers into you while rubbing his thumb on your clit.

You writhed on the bed, holding back your moans. Chuuya wouldn’t have that.

“Now, now, princess. I’d like to hear who’s making you feel so good,” Chuuya chided, fingering you faster and harder.

“Chuuya, I’m going to-” you moaned, overwhelmed with pleasure.

He brought his mouth up to your breasts, licking and biting as he went, “It’s okay. You can come.”

His mouth on your body and his permission was the last thing holding you back. You came with a loud scream, convulsing around his fingers.

When you had calmed down and Chuuya pulled his fingers out of you, you grabbed the back of his head to bring his lips to yours. You made out for what felt like ages before Chuuya chose to break the kiss to speak, “How do you feel now, princess?”

“I feel like, I need you to fuck me. Please, Chuuya,” you begged, pulling his body as close to you as you could. His erection was pressed into your thighs, making you whine in want.

Chuuya groaned and marked around your neck. He whispered, “As you wish.”

Before long, Chuuya was hovering over you and rubbing his cock through your folds. The both of you moaned at the contact before he slipped into you with ease.

He kept still, letting you adjust, until you wiggled your hips to encourage him to move. Any self control he had up to this point all but vanished. Chuuya pounded into you ferociously, coaxing you into a moaning and whining mess.

You were too distracted with pleasure to do anything but moan Chuuya’s name. One hand on your waist to keep you where he wanted, he used his other hand to bring your hands back up over your head.

He brought his lips down to yours to give you a lustful kiss. You struggled to keep up with his pace, too busy moaning, but he didn’t care. With how feral he was being right now, you would have thought that he was the one who was drugged.

Eventually his hips started to stutter, notifying you of both his and your approaching orgasm. Chuuya brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts. You blacked out as you came, screaming and overloaded with pleasure. When you finally came to, Chuuya was slowing down his thrusts, still prolonging the pleasure.

When he finally stopped moving and pulled out of you, you could feel his juices seeping out of you. You laid on the bed, too dazed to move, and watched as Chuuya grabbed a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaned you up.

“I think that was a successful mission. We got what we needed and we finally slept together,” Chuuya joked. You cracked a small smile and chuckled at him. How could you ever think that being with Chuuya wouldn’t go well?

#fluff #one shot #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #chuuya my beloved #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you #bungou stray dogs #female reader #nakahara chuuya #chuuya smut #chuuya fluff #fanfiction

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euphoric-dramione · 5 months

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manacled

tw: spoilers for manacled

this one will be long, so brace yourselves

I first read Manacled in 2020, and it must've been the third Dramione fanfic I ever read, so I was truly very impressed with how well written it was. It remained the best and my favorite fanfic up until I started rereading it recently, and I'm writing this rant because I just finished rereading Manacled for a third time and I have some thoughts.

Firstly, it's important to state that back in 2020 I was still a high-school student, I loved reading books, especially classic literature, but I had little understanding of why some pieces of literature become classics and others don't. I just liked reading, and just like many other people, I thought that fanfiction was bad because all I've ever known at that point was Wattpad. Manacled changed my opinion. It was the best thing I had ever read, but I was only nineteen.

Now I am twenty-three, I have a degree in English literature, and although it might mean nothing to some people, it proves to me that I can read and understand texts as well as view them critically - my degree gave me tools to approach things I read and see using critical thinking skills. I don't want to critique Manacled because I think that all fanfiction is a wonderful gift that writers give readers for free, asking nothing in return, and that is such a lovely concept, so please keep that in mind when you read and review fanfiction. My critique stems more from what Manacled tells about the way we read classic literature, books in general, and how we deal when we face dubious morality. There is a thin line between books and literature - sometimes that line doesn't even exist. All literature is books, but not all books are literature. Just like all books are texts, but not all texts are books. What is Manacled then?

I'm choosing to speak about Manacled because I think it does a very interesting thing. It is an intertext of two books - Harry Potter and The Handmaid's Tale. Both of them are books, only one of them is literature, however in Manacled they are treated the same.

The Handmaid's Tale is a gruesome novel about a dystopian world where fertile women are slaves to men, their ability to bare children used as a weapon to exploit them. As the author herself, Margaret Atwood, stated, everything depicted in this novel had in some place or some time actually happened to women.

Rape in The Handmaid's Tale is a way for men to demonstrate how much power they have over women, and how they use that power to humiliate and control every aspect of women's lives, especially their reproductive health. Manacled picks up the very carcass of the story of The Handmaid's Tale and inserts it into a dark AU Harry Potter universe where the second wizarding war with Voldemort still continues some years later. Whereas The Handmaid's Tale is a thought-provoking feminist masterpiece about women's struggles and the never-ending violence perpetuated within walls of patriarchy, Manacled focuses solely on one woman and one man. The woman being Hermione Granger who is forced to bear Draco Malfoy's child in order to get her memories back, so Voldemort could rule forever. Later on, we figure out that Hermione and Draco were actually in love, but war set them apart, and it's him Hermione tried to protect by erasing her own memory. Here lies the distinction. Not only does Manacled say nothing about feminism and how women's bodies become war battlefields for, most often, men. Not speaking up on something in the intertext is absolutely nothing wrong. But Manacled does something else, something that I now see so clearly upon rereading, and something which I can neither forgive nor forget. It romanticizes rape. You might say I'm being too callous saying that it romanticizes rape when it is simply depicting in, and I will explain why I chose the word romanticizes.

Although Manacled doesn't allow us to attribute good or bad traits to characters, it is still very clear that Hermione is the heroine in this story and Draco - the hero with antihero characteristics. How do we deal with the fact that our hero hurt our heroine? We look for excuses. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione, and we're looking for excuses as to why he did it. Some excuses are these: he did it because he loved her, because if he hadn't raped her, Voldemort would've found out that they were hiding something, and then would've killed them both; he did it, but it hurt him even more than it hurt her (it is true that both the victim and the perpetrator might be equally traumatized by an event one caused and another had to suffer through, but it never excuses the perpetrator); and finally - he did it because he had no other choice. Side tangent, but if my loved one ever has to choose between murdering me or raping me, I hope they kill me. Murder me a million times before you rape me once, that will be a greater mercy. And I believe had Draco actually loved Hermione as much as he claimed, he would've murdered her before he laid a finger on her. Let's also have in mind that he rapes her not once, not twice, but over THIRTY times.

While The Handmaid's Tale tirelessly shows that rape is the worst thing that one person can do to another, Manacled, with all its horrifying depiction, claims the complete opposite. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione Granger, and although he doesn't take pleasure in it, he still does it. We find excuses for it because he is a hero of the story in our eyes, the same way that we find excuses for our favorite famous men when we find out they committed atrocious acts especially against women. When we read Manacled, we are encouraged to believe that rape is sometimes unavoidable, which is the greatest lie of all, it is blasphemous. Because it's Draco Malfoy committing the rape, it seems that sometimes a person has no other choice but to rape another which is a complete antithesis to what Margaret Atwood, and many other modern feminist thinkers claim. Of course, we don't need feminst thinkers to tell us rape is bad, but we might need to think a little deeper to understand that it is never something one has to do.

Rape is always avoidable, never necessary. It is perhaps the only crime that is committed not for some particular reason, but solely because one person wants to hurt another. Murder, theft, these are the crimes that a criminal might commit because they're poor, because they're are being blackmailed, because it's self-defense, etc. However, rape is such a horrifying crime specifically because you can always choose not to do it, and specifically because it is so hard to recover from - rape victims suffer more extreme and longer-lasting cases of PTSD than victims of any other crime because rape is so horrible and death might be considered dignified compared to rape, not better, but more merciful than rape. Draco Malfoy might be a lot of things in Manacled, but one of them is a rapist, and there is simply no going on around it. If you can forgive him, I hope it's because of all the other fanfics you've read where he was good and kind, and not because here he had no other choice but to rape, because that is simply not true. He had a choice, many choices, to be exact. The choice is always there. The most important thing is what we choose.

This is in no way an attack on Manacled, it is not a review nor is it hatespeech - I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic back when I read it the first time, and I do think it is incredibly well-written, and I am not comparing it to any other published works because that would be unfair. I believe the things I've talked about have more to do with what regular people who are not writers write and how regular readers who do not read classics all the time accept and discuss that work later on. Anyone could've written something romanticizing rape, and many people do it all the time, some even get published and make money off it, but not all people can write as well as the author of Manacled, and even less would be ready to give us their work to read for free. I purposely do not mention the pseudonym of the author because I am also not attacking them personally, simply pointing out what I've noticed. Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

#feminism #intersectional feminism #the handmaid's tale #margaret atwood #manacled #dramione #dramione fanfiction #critical thinking #literature #booklr #text #writing #sociocritisism #hermione granger #draco malfoy #high reeve

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ghoulsgraveyard · 11 months

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Wear Them 2/3

a/n: so i decided to split this into three parts because i felt bad about how long its been since an update, i needed to feed yall. so this will have to tie you over until we get into the good shit. i may split this again just bc this fic has a mind of its own. this is not proofread, i will proof read it later tho.

warnings: Content warnings: feminization (reader calls Eddie a girl), panty theft (obvi), subsequent panty wearing, perv!eddie, degradation (the fun kind), fem!reader, reader has a vagina, sub!eddie, dom!reader, slut shaming but also virgin shaming (it makes sense don’t worry), some light cock and ball torture (genital slapping), spanking, emotional hurt/comfort (I dont know how that happened it just did) aftercare!

read part one here

You flicked the panties at his chest “you wanted them so bad. Wear them.”

Eddie seemed to realize what you meant in slow motion, putting the pieces together “intended purpose” and talking of him stretching them out… holy shit. You wanted him to wear your panties, and even more shocking to him, he wanted that too.

His mouth gaped like a fish, his lack of response causing you to pause “is that- would that be something you would want to do?” his response was immediate “yes fuck yes please uhh yes I feel like I should call you something other than your name while we do this or maybe I'm over thinking this and you’re not into that and the whole idea of calling you something else isn’t because I want to do this with someone else because uh im uh only interested in you and doing this with you and uh now I'm talking too much an-” shutting him up with a kiss “don’t worry about it baby. You can call me whatever you want, whatever makes you the most comfortable” you smiled against his lips. Eddie thought for a bit “promise you won’t laugh?” he said meekly, still fearing your judgment.

You held your hand up to his cheek and smoothed the skin of his cheek with your thumb, holding his face. In that moment you realized why Eddie was so hypersensitive towards you in particular. He can handle the judgment and ridicule from everyone else in this town, but not from you. You remembered all the times he would look to you after telling a joke to see if you’d laugh, or asking you to double check an assignment, even letting you read his book of lyrics. He had given you every piece of him, he looked to you for your approval, he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and in that moment you have never felt more important to another human being.

All you could do was smile warmly at him “oh baby I would never laugh at you” he practically whimpered, melting into your hand, then murmured “thank you master” he looked to you, silently asking if you liked that one, the groan you released more than answered him but just to reassure “that’s a great name you picked thank you baby.” Eddie beamed at the praise.

“Okay baby, before we do this I want to make sure you’re happy and safe the whole time, okay lovely? So to check in with you I'll ask you what color you’re feeling. If you feel good and safe say green, if you want to pause or slow down say yellow, and if I do something that makes you feel bad or unsafe I want you to say red. In the event you want to stop or pause or slow down, don’t wait for me to ask you baby, just shout out your color, okay?” he nodded along “I need to hear you tell me you understand baby” “I understand master” you smiled at him “good girl” eddie was immediately confused “I'm- master I'm a boy I'm not a girl” you raised your eyebrow at him, still smiling “honey I think you’re a bit confused, yeah?” you spoke to him like he was a lost dog, he nodded and you pouted at him “okay baby I'll help you make sense” suddenly you grabbed his chin, smushing his face in your hand forcing him to meet your gaze “when we’re playing, you are whatever I say you are. So if your master calls you a good girl, that’s what you are. Got it?” Eddie whined at the roughness of your grasp, “yes master thank you master” you gave him a curt nod “what’s your color baby?” eddie was still reeling but buzzing with excitement “green, master”

“Well?” you gestured to the panties “put them on slut.” eddie was beyond flustered, he began moving, then a truly delicious idea came to you “actually baby just lay there. Master will put them on for you.” he was glowing with embarrassment “what do you say sweetheart?” there was a pause as eddie tried to think of what you wanted to hear “thank you master” you beamed with pride “good girl, you’re catching on so quick! Such a good girl for your master” you swiped the panties off of his chest and settled yourself at the foot of the bed, the image was erotic. This big intimidating man who scared the whole town was trembling on his bed while you slipped a pair of panties between his feet. You swept them up slowly, the hair on his legs being pulled by the fabric, then released. The elastic of the legholes fought to accommodate his large thighs. You situated the underwear in the back first, pulling the gstring up so it sat correctly between his cheeks, now was the fun part. Eddie whimpered and you pull the fabric up in the front, slowly, torturously, the back of the panties pressed and pulled his tender sack while the front was still being rolled up by you. Swift finger adjusting the fabric that pushed his weeping cock against his stomach, you were delighted by a revelation: he was too big. Eddie’s dick was too long to fit in these panties, the elastic stopped about 3/4s of the way up, leaving the rest of him exposed. You watched as the red tip of his aching cock seemed to cry pre-cum, sticking to the patch of hair that trailed from his navel to his bush. You leaned back to take in the image. It was beautiful.

You looked at him from all angles like he was an art piece, how the straps sat above his hipbones, the way the elastic stretched to accommodate the cock sticking out of the top, how his full hairy balls couldn’t fit in the crotch and were practically cut in half by the g-string, the delicious way the fabric desperately stretched to hold his hard cock, practically busting at the seems. It was beautiful.

Eddie couldnt help but squirm under your watchful eye, and for the obvious reason. He whined which caused your gaze to snap back at his face “you look so pretty baby” you cooed at him “so pretty all dressed up for your master, such a pretty girl” eddie blushed and hid his face behind his hair when you called him that. He feels like he shouldn't like it as much as he does. You pet his face “you like that don’t you sweetheart? Hmm? You like it when master calls you a pretty girl?” clearing his throat “y-yes master I like being your pr-pretty girl” he was so bashful it was adorable

“why don't you go look at yourself in the mirror?” you stood up off the bed and offered him a hand, which he took shakingly, you led him to the full body mirror in his room, then stood behind him, both of you looking at him. Eddie rotates his hips, looking at himself from different angles just like you did. Your hands wrapped around his chest and grazed his torso with featherlight touches leaving goosebumps in their wake “look at you” you whispered “just gorgeous” your hands made their way down to his groin “such a pretty cock all wrapped up in lace” you squeezed his dick, hard. He hissed at the feeling “hurts'' he said through his teeth “good hurt or bad hurt baby?” you rubbed your palm over his bulge “g-good hurt.” a grin split your face “oh that’s good baby. You like it when your master hurts you?” you grabbed the leg holes of the panties and pulled them up roughly, causing the g-string to harshly dig into his balls, Eddie yelped at the sensation, the sound quickly morphing into a moan.

You bark out a cruel laugh at his response. “Well?” you growl at him, Eddie pants, his mind empty, his wide eyes bright but thoughtless, his jaw slightly dropped so his pink lips form an ‘o’ as he pants “I asked you a question. I expect you to answer me.” Eddie desperately wracks his brain for the question, finally he remembers, stuttering out “Y-yes master I l-love, I love it when you hu- hurt me master.” Whines caused him to interrupt himself, in his empty head all he could think about was how he could please you, impress you, you seemed happy when he talked, so he tried again to form words “Th-thank you for being so p-patient with m-me master” he gasped out. You gasped in delight, smiling wide “Oh baby look at you! My good girl has amazing manners. So proud of you sweetheart. I’m so happy with my little slut” Eddie soaked up the praise like a sponge to water, bathing in the warmth and depravity of your words “You’ve been so good for me, i think you deserve a reward.” you whisper to him like a secret “what do you think?” he nods quickly, hair shaking with the motion “yes master I would like a reward please.” you dig your nails into his hipbones and roughly pull him back onto the bed so he’s sitting back to chest with you facing his mirror. You lick and bite at his earlobe while snaking your legs to sit over his thighs, somewhat restraining him with your body. You let your fingernails drag up his hip bones and dance across his torso, his abdomen twitching at the light touches, cock continuing to drool just below his navel. Your fingers skirt up to his chest, drumming your fingers on his pectorals before allowing yourself to lightly circle his right nipple with your finger tip, the rosy bud hardening as you circle in tighter, you repeat the ministration on his other side before taking each nipple between your pointer and thumb. Eddie lets out a low hum at the sensation. You gently roll the skin between your fingers, gradually increasing pressure, until you’re fully pinching him. He squirms in your hold letting out whimpers and moans. You smile and continue to roll and tug at his sensitive skin, his hips jumping when you slap his chest. His gasp transfers seamlessly to a loud moan, skin prickling in reaction. “That feel good, little one?” you smile, already knowing the answer “uh-uh-huh feels really” you interrupt him with a slap to his other nipple, causing him to moan loudly “really, r-really good” the rest of his response came out in a whine. His head rolls back to rest on your shoulder, bangs sticky with sweat against his forehead, eyebrows pulled together with fluttering eyelids occasionally revealing the whites of eyes rolled back, mouth hung open in pleasure. He looks depraved. He looks divine.

You drag your nails across the reddened and raised skin “it’s a little bit funny” you muse “because you’re a slut, but you’re such a little virgin huh baby?” he whimpers, you continue “it’s pathetic, it really is, but it’s endearing how hard you try. Try hard to come across as this big scary man out in the world, but i slap you around and suddenly you’re my pathetic little girl. You’re not scary at all, you couldn’t hurt anything.” he nods in agreement, you lick the skin between his chin and his ear, biting his earlobe before you whisper “but I can” he whines loud and high in his throat, at the sensation and your promise of delicious pain. “Wh-what do you mean master?” he licks his lips, eyes straining to look at you from his place on your shoulder “oh all sorts of good hurt i could give you. I was thinking, because of how much you like when i slap you, i’d like to see your pretty ass over my lap.” He blinks at you slowly “Thats your cue to lay yourself over my lap baby.” He quickly scrambles into position in a manner who’s absence of grace is substituted by enthusiasm.

taglist:

@g4ys0n @sunxflowerlou @maxwiththeaxe @creepyco13 @billhaderstan420 0 @ilovestrongmen @sad1st1c-wh0re @santawasbisexual

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson smut #smut #stranger things smut #sub!eddie munson #perv!eddie x reader #perv!eddie x perv!reader #wear them #pathetic!eddie

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gu1lty-as-sin · 8 months

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⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ welcome ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

about me

you can call me juno or astraea

im a cancer sun, libra moon and sagittarius rising

my pronouns are they/she (and my pronoun page is here)

i'm a proud bisexual (i am very sapphic lol)

im taken (you can hear about my love via the “them tag <33")

i am a minor (i won't immediately block people 18+ but if you're creepy i will <3)

australian!! also a bunch of different places, none really interesting

this blog is for me to dump thoughts, interact with people and just have a good time :)

i play the drums and im currently in two bands! i also love playing guitar and one of my 2024 goals is to get better at playing!!

currently listening -> 🍁☕️🎸 nyc

currently reading -> the odyssey translated by emily wilson

currently watching -> doctor who and rewatching gilmore girls

things i like

i love: literature, the arts, queer culture, astronomy, feminism (no terfs allowed!!!!), fruit flavoured drinks, flared pants, converse, dark red, nail polish, eyeliner, burgundy lipgloss, tank tops, tote bags, brie (always dreaming of cheese), pinterest, spotify, my headphones, the ocean, my grandparents house (im there rn i love it), spring+winter, very specific shades of pink and green, black <3, folklore and 1989 girl, fiddling around on the guitar, fantasising about being a famous musician, finding new music, snow, picking silly little outfits,

books: osemanverse, the hunger games, books by rhiannon wilde, tim te maro's subterranean heartsick blues, all the best liars, books by octavia butler (specifically parable of the sower and parable of the talents), the last true poets of the sea, acotar, the weight of the stars, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian grey, house of hollow, howls moving castle, harry potter (mainly marauders, FUCK JKR), i kissed shara wheeler, red white and royal blue, song of achilles

movies + tv shows: dont look up, little women (2019), scream (i like most of them but 1996 is my fav by far), ladybird, barbie (2023), some of the mcu (thor and guardians of the galaxy <33), spiderverse (itsv is my love), gilmore girls, stranger things, loki, heartstopper, arcane, scott pilgrim takes off, she ra

musicians/bands: boygenius, taylor swift, lovejoy, glaive, brakence, paramore, ricky jamaraz, melanie martinez, lana del rey, ashnikko, girl in red, billie eilish, doja cat, big thief, adrienne lenker, ethel cain, mitski, remi wolf, cigarettes after sex, ericdoa, tv girl, clairo, the neighbourhood, bon iver, deftones (getting into them just a little), maneskin, courtney barnett, poppy

my favourite colours are black, dark red, burgundy, denim blue, sage green, soft pink, glaucous blue, golden yellow (i love colour theory so all colours are beautiful in their own context but here are my favs to wear/see)

i really want to get into more poetry so if you have any recs lmk!!

i have recently begun practising some very simple witchcraft, so feel free to talk to me about that and i would love to learn more!!

i love learning about astrology and use my birth chart frequently

i write very, very infrequently and think of more stories than i even start to plot lmao.

i draw way more than i write and will occasionally post some!! its not good by any means but its fun ig

talk to me + dni

my asks and dms are open!! feel free to talk to me about anything and everything!! i love talking!!

i love my mutuals so much so if ur my mutual *looks you dead in your eyes* i love you

my discord is the same @ as here, i literally just got it today so idrk how it works but feel free to add me there <33 but please lmk if you do if your username is different

if we’re very close you can ask for my insta!!

i rarely follow people without an intro post/descriptive enough bio (with name, age group, pronouns) so if you want to be mutuals please have one!! if not just shoot me an ask about who you are and what you like so we can be friends <33

dni: rude, racist, homophobic, transphobic, zionist, terfs, sexist, ableist, antisemitic people

tags

#juno.txt -> ramblings, original posts

#asks -> asks ive answered

#ask bait -> hehehe send me asks <3

#tag games -> tag games ive participated in

#beautiful mutuals -> interactions with my beautiful mutuals!

#spotify -> my music obsession dw im fine fhdklfhdal

#them tag <33 -> posts that remind me of my wonderful bf <3

links + sideblogs

spotify

@likeasugarcubeinateacup -> my notes app poetry

@slowrotburiedinthepark -> a random sideblog i post art and occasional web weaving on

@stabbingstarsthroughmyback -> my writing sideblog (ask me about my wip!!)

stunning dividers by @chachachannah :))

here is a totally beautiful and amazing moodboard by @svnflowermoon that always makes me so fhadkfhakd

last updated: jan 19th 2024

#intro post #Spotify #juno.txt #asks #ask bait #tag games #beautiful mutuals #pinned post #them tag <33

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freyjas-musings · 3 months

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From one gwynriel stan to another, I gotta rant. I’ve seen a lot of anti-Azriel commentary by Eluciens the past few days and it drives me nuts. I agree that Azriel isn’t well-suited for Elain, and he has a lot of growth and development. But Eluciens seem to take this as a nod to start picking out every flaw of Az and ragging on him in order to elevate Lucien. I adore Lucien, but Eluciens should fight a way to bolster their ship without acting like Az is Satan’s spawn. Idk if they’ve been acting up as a recently bc it’s more certain that Azriel/Gwynriel’s book is next, and they have to wait longer for an Elucien book.

Hello Anon,

All of what you said!!!! It is frustrating and it just builds so much bad blood 😤

Its not just that Az isn't suited for Elain we agree Elain is also not suited for Az as well , we don't want her anywhere around him. He needs someone who won't judge him and we all know how Elain was with Nesta. Az has a lot of work to do and Elain is only bad news.

A lot of new Eluciens and some of the older ones are basically Elriel like ( the aggressive ones) in nature.... They are aggressive, often Supremely stupid and try to cover all of their idiotic behaviour behind politically sensitive words such as feminism, misogyny etc.

Not all Eluciens are like that and I know that for a fact , some of my friends are Eluciens and they are great human beings and know how to celebrate Lucien without pulling Azriel into the equation. If you can't elevate a character without taking Azriel's name that in itself tells you the story.

They are obviously bothered by how popular Az is and he clearly lives rent free in their head !!!! ... And you are right they are acting out because SJM basically slapped them all in the face by giving us a glimpse of a different side to Az is in HOFAS and clearly people are thrilled and excited for his story .... it would rub antis in the wrong way and I am literally laughing everytime I see a sad attempt at ... Lucien also did this I give him a 10 ...please people pick him.... reeks of desperation!!!!

Lucien is a great character and he has so much potential its a shame that people don't know how to celebrate him in a positive fun way.

Gwynriels should just ignore the noise , just know that this fandom LOVES Az .... the number of stans to antis with Az is 500:1 so we are in a good position and we should be smug about it. If you continue seeing anti Az posts , stop sharing or interacting with all Elucien related content on all platforms and block the toxic ones !!! When Gwynriels can call out bad behaviour from our side I don't see why Eluciens can't do the same!!!

#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #pro gwynriel #gwyn acosf #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #lucien vanserra #Elain #elain archeron #fandom bs #anti idiots

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saccharinemeat · 1 year

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hi! VERY strong anti here. trying to be civil. just genuinely asking, why do you like proships. genuinely. why. what makes them so good to you? to me, they, well, make me feel nauseous and gross. sometimes even violated depending on what it is. what about these, honestly, gross ships is so good to you? what makes you think they're good? i'm not looking for an argument. just,, answers.

Alright, I'll answer in good faith here, because i really appreciate not picking a fight or an argument

First off, please, don't say , "you like proships" proship doesn't mean "problematic ships", it means "pro" (as in favor of) shipping, that is to say, it's an anti harassment stance on letting people do whatever they want, based off the old fandom saying "ship and let ship"

you dont need to like problematic ships to be proship, you just need to be against harassment of people who enjoy darker or more 'edgy' media, and that's it

As for you question in itself, it's complicated, some problematic ships i enjoy stem from my own trauma and family issues, particularly my abusive mother. Reading and making content with parental incest gives me comfort through the fact that its an inconditional , codependent love. In fiction it feels comforting, but i know reality is way different first hand.

For age gap ships, theres a whole aspect about having someone take care of you, and also again, love regardless of situation, plus there is self insertion as it makes me think of back when i was a teen and had crushes on older people. I couldn't act on them, and I knew that any adult willing to date a child is no good. But within fiction,you can write about it and it would be harmless, generally speaking

For dead dove or more problematic stuff,such as abusive relationships, theres again the desire for love no matter what, and the situations those develop in, are usually trauma bonding for the involved characters

Now, these are not the ONLY reasons i enjoy such ships. There's also the aspect that i just like some of them aesthetically, or i see their chemistry in a romantic light, Or i have a streak of sadism towards a certain character.

Another reason is the potential for interesting fan content, particularly fanfiction, wholesome ships are sweet and cute and can be hot even, but it's all very by the book. The exploration of their emotions, thoughts and actions in messed up situations is more interesting to me

For sibling incest particularly, i just feel that they're usually developed in such a way that it can easily be seen as romantic, since we spend so much time with them, and seeing them fight and bond and laugh and promise to be together, that it just clicks different

and, It's understandable that you feel nauseated and grossed out by a lot of these, in fact, there are problematic ships and tropes i hate and despise, despite the fact that i love other messed up content for example

- I hate bully/victim ships

- I hate uncle/niece ships

- I hate cheating stories

- I hate forced feminization

- I dislike enemies to lovers

- I dislike anything involving characters I consider too young

- I dislike vomit and sick fic

a lot of people love these! but i dont! some of them make my skin crawl! but i dont go and yell at them, i dont comment on their things, I just block them and move on, and focus on the stuff i DO like ,which is what i generally suggest

Fictional exploration of darker stories is okay, and generally harmless. I know the argument that it can be used to groom people, but truly, that's not the fault of the content or its creator, the blame is fully on the groomer.

Also, if we started banning or bashing things that can be used to groom others, we'd have to ban stuff like plushies, candy, adult collectionists of cartoon merch, comics, books,etc etc

ANYTHING can be used to groom a person, if there's a groomer targeting them. nothing is safe if there's an actual pro contact pedophile with the intention to groom a child. The only way to prevent these things is to be taught about them, and to learn to not take life advice from fanfiction, which should be a given.

Like seriously, think about it. let's see, a safe hobby, non fandom related....

okay, imagine theres a minor who's very interested in learning about history and historical maps of the world.

This kid joins an unsupervised group online, and talks about wanting to make friends, and does make some nice, age appropriate friends

They feel generally safe online

Then,a groomer targets them, befriends them and brings up the fact that they collect maps, and they love history just like the kid.

then moves into talking about 'old customs' and starts planting the idea that old societies were in the right about child marriage and so on, until they actually gets what they want, and commits a crime.

The groomer didn't need a fanfic to convince the kid

they just needed to manipulate the child into trusting them, using whatever the kid liked.

who do you think it's at fault here?

the kid? the history book? the group? the internet? Nope.

It's the groomer's fault for targeting the child

and it's the parent's fault for not teaching online safety to their kid.

#not cookie content #proship #shipcest #grooming mention #csa mention

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citanul-atsidosam22 · 1 year

Text

The Madness in the Dark

⚠️MATURED CONTENT ⚠️

The cold water slipping down inch by inch on her skin felt like glory. The sound of water spurting out of the shower soon hitting the floor made her company. The long day is about to be replaced by dusk, and so, she took a shower to ready herself for bed. It became her routine. Wake up in the morning, read, write, or paint throughout the day, then take a shower before light disappears.

This day was to no extraordinary. She witnessed dawn, maintain her proper hygiene, gather books she'll read from the library inside the castle, and now she's taking a shower. See? Like always.

After rinsing foams of the products and fragrances she lathered on her body and hair, she stepped out of the shower, her figure wrapped in a clean white towel. She then strolled to her bedroom.

Upon arrival, she saw a book spread open to a specific page on the floor. The content depicts sexual pleasures. She admits to herself that she searched for it in the library earlier, but knowing the book would center intimacy, she is beyond certain that she secured the book in a proper storage before she went on to take a bath. She knew too well that she would never be careless enough as to make such thing vulnerable.

But if she settled it in a proper placement earlier, then who could've dragged it on the floor? It's triggering her curiosity. Nevertheless, she picked up the book and placed it near the lampshade beside her bed. She got too carried away by the books' sudden displacement that she wasn't able to notice the heavy deluge of rain.

She walked to the window. The pane was occupied by plenty of droplets. The mist outside making the forest an aesthetic. The sky was gray and dark, a warning of continuous downpour. No wonder it was colder than the usual. Thanks to the book, though, that she forgot the overwhelming temperature for a while. But now, clothes would be better and more efficient than the skimpy towel.

She headed to her closet and gathered her chosen pieces of clothings and garments. She took her lotions, beauty creams, and oils next before she made her way to the edge of the bed to apply and wear the things in her grasp.

The towel dropped leaving her form naked. She turned around to sit on the bed. Upon settling, she was startled as a tall figure stood in front of her.

"C-Carla?!"

His eyes roamed every centimeter of her body. His vision engulfed in the curve of her sides, the roundness of her hips, the slope of her breasts and the smoothness of her skin. As his sight reached down her feminity, the glow of his eyes was accentuated by the synchronous loss of power.

Everything around her was dark, but two narrowed eyes above made no exceptions of still glowing in the dark with enticement and sadistic intentions. It horrified her. She attempted to run but he caught her arm and tossed her harshly onto the mattress. Due to the force he exerted, the mattress ejected her slightly.

Carla made swift motions to hover above her and pinned her wrists above her head. He lowered his face as near that he could feel her breath embracing his lips.

"Carla!"

She raised her voice as he tilted his head to have a better access to the inside of her mouth. His tongue was long and slender, much to her surprise. The tip was pointed that it traced the walls of her mouth, and it was incredibly strong that hers got dominated even in its own cavern.

Carla explored her curves with his free hand. It glided down and down—dangerously getting close to her womanhood— her velvety skin. She squeezed her eyes tighter as well as her thighs.

He left her lips to proceed to her neck. Her collarbones gave more emphasis to the perfection of her neck. It made Carla thought of other sensitive spots in her body. Oh, how he loved how her face twists with fighting over dominance pain and pleasure. He may never admit that, but he'll—whenever he pleases—seek that.

He bit on her collarbone harshly, almost crunching it with his teeth. His fangs dove deep down her flesh. She arched her back and was unable to suppress a gasp. He gulped the blood that exited the pierce his fangs penetrated.

"Stop!" She whined.

He kept drinking. He looked for another spot and bit there. Her tears subconsciously flowed from her eyes. His bites were extremely painful yet good. Carla bit every sensitive spot he could ever imagine—her collarbones, her cleavage, her chest, her waist, above her navel, her wrists, and even the tip of her fingers. He drank too much, her eyes are puffy and her nose was clogged from crying.

Yet, it wasn't enough to offer him satisfaction. He backed a bit and and pushed her further up the bed. He crawled and spread her legs wide.

Her beauty is ethereal.

She flinched and shrank. She's whimpering and it amused the male. She's fighting the sensation without thinking what will happen if he ever leaves her unattended. Her essence is dripping from her entrance it pooled on the mattress.

Carla aligned his face on her womanhood. He inhaled in her scent and gently massaged her devil's doorbell with his thumb. Her moan was but a startled gasp. Too silent for his liking. It never rubbed his ego as much as her existence fueled his arousal.

He put pressure on his thumb and moved it faster. She cried yet covered her mouth with her released hands. Carla grew impatient. Her volume was not the problem, it was her attempts to conceal her reactions. 'Well, let's see if those tiny hands of yours be able to suppress your melody if I do this', Carla thought.

He spread her labia open, exposing her throbbing nodule. She was a falls whose essence Carla would pridefully coat himself with. Carla licked her opening, starting from the bottom to the top then kissed her knob before sucking it like he's helping himself to an oyster.

She screamed out of delight. Carla repeated his ministrations till she was arching her back and moaning his name nonstop. He picked up a much faster pace. He pushed and pulled his fingers in a swift rhythm. Not long, the knot that formed in her abdomen set her free to ecstasy. Her orgasm ripped through her, its intoxicating pleasure making her guilty.

Carla watched close as her release gushed out of her clenching opening. It was plenty. A mixture of his saliva, her essence, and the outcome of his actions and her pleasure.

He felt as though he was selfish to himself. Carla backed off and kneeled above her in front. He observed how she squirmed, he adored how her expression is difficult to explain yet a masterpiece amongst the finest of arts.

Her form trembling, panting, and sweating. Despite that, she lifted herself with the support of her elbows.

"Ah?!" She gasped.

Carla kneeled in front of her. His organ—long, thick, hard and erect—was freed from his pants. Carla was now, like her, naked. His body a sculpted figure of muscles. His curves are exquisite, and his beauty an erotic facade behind royal appearance.

She froze as she realized that his manhood is pointing at her. The darkness was now but an overcast.

"Carla! Please, no!" She cried as he leaned down on her. He payed no attention. However, the thunder roared. He must've got pissed by her relentless resistance.

He kissed her. The kiss was feverish. It was wild, harsh, and hungry. His greed is consuming him till he's no longer concerned of her mortality. And that's because, he isn't.

Carla coiled his hand on her throat. The other making its way to pin again her wrists above her head. She felt helpless. As much as she would want to escape, its a waste of attempt that adds fire to Carla's rising temper. While it is not time to mind his temper, it will really will make her situation hell if she'll completely ignore it. After all, she's all alone and everything is in his favor.

She grew lightheaded. Must've been because of the loss of blood and anxiety. However, her eyes went wide when she felt his tip at the entrance of her canal.

"NO!!!" She shrieked weakly.

He continued as if not regarding her protest. That night, mixture of cries, moans, and grunts from her and Carla could be heard all throughout the mansion. The mattress was soiled with sweat, tears, and release. The thunder roared even more, the rain poured harder, and lightning striked more frequently—illuminating everything its light could reach.——————————————————————

I once heard from my mother that silence is the loudest sound that you can ever hear in this world. When I was young, we would have a banter about that. I used to believe that silence is...well, the most silent sound there is. We often end up with her telling me that I'll understand it when I grow up. Understanding it was the worst thing I could ever comprehend.

Clicks and clanks are the only sounds I heard as Carla and I ate in the dining room. He had his usual dry-cured ham and the castle's cooks served me a steak. It was delicious. However, being alone with him made me uncomfortable. I heard that Shin went out to some place he had told the young one to.

I can sense him occasionally taking a glance at me. And, so I am to him and his...ham. It's not like I want to have some, the fact that I would want to tell him something made me cautious of this moment.

"Woman." Carla's call was short yet dangerous. My fork fell to my plate out of fright.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered. I shouldn't have.

His gaze on me intensified. It is as if my response rekindled some sort of fire inside him. Carla was never easy to read. His eyes were always stern, and his lips never held any emotion.

"What is it?" I added. That was the only interrogation I could ever muster.

"Say it." He spoke, it wasn't a question. It was more of a command. I always try to make my intentions hidden but he always succeeds on making it seem like I am an open book to him. He reads my thoughts like they were written.

I remained silent. How did he ever knew? After all of that, I realized that I really don't want to tell him anymore. That way, I could've avoided it to prolong. I thought of hiding it as impossible, and now I am certain.

"I don't have all night, yet you as well. Delay more, and I will assure you do not last long, woman." He warned.

The worst that could happen to me was this. As much as I would want it to end, but I am not sure of what Carla meant. I feared how he chooses and plays with his choice of words. How I interpret it might not what he really meant it.

"You got me pregnant."

#carla tsukinami #smut #diabolik lovers #shin tsukinami #reader #rain #mature #vampires #founder

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djservo · 6 months

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HI CAS! 😁 it’s that time of month again… 🎄🎅❄️☃️ are you a christmas music enjoyer? what’s your november reading looked like? what are the final books you’ll read in 2023? any wintery vibes these are all important questions

I always think I've become indifferent to if not completely turned off by christmas music but just last weekend my coffee shop was playing 'christmas (baby please come home)' n I was like hell yeah this song rules...... & one time my crabby hater coworker put on springsteen's 'santa claus is comin to town' for me + that was such a kodak Magic Of Christmas moment for me I was like wait the grinch really does have a soul.... im a sporadic xmas music enjoyer merely by happenstance 🧘‍♀️ + my november reads were magical!!!

Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag

wanted to pair this with Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection by Julia Kristeva as a brief little study on representing/projecting and relating to terror but this one was so apt that I thought it'd be best standing alone and allowed to sink in for the month. really interesting/important points about the origins of the 24 hour news cycle + "the CNN effect" + a mass desensitization to the suffering of others, disheartening but necessary things to understand especially now when every feed is so casually interspersed with it. and ofc Sontag is just so graceful with her framing of ideas that I think this is quite an accessible read to those who've never ventured into philosophy/theory

Manila Noir edited by Jessica Hagedorn

MILF (MAN I LOVE FILIPINOS)!!! learning that I maybe love crime fiction? or maybe specifically written by Filipinos bc the Philippines is kinda the perfect place for so many intersections/dissections of class and power and exploitation and all the things that make crime/mystery so juicy to me. the selection here was so strong, I think I ended up shelving something by each of the contributors I could find english translations for. so many women too which rules x10000. also saw that this is part of a series of 'noir' collected works based around a specific area (like SF, Brooklyn, Mumbai, Istanbul, etc) which I think is a super cool concept and I can't wait to track down the others. think this is gonna have to be a noirvember tradition

With my Dog Eyes by Hilda Hilst

read this in one sitting before a wedding so it's admittedly a bit of a blur/I didn't get to sit with it as much as I should have bc Hilst's prose is so dizzying (in a good way!!!) but I've asked for one of her translated works for xmas so I'll defo be giving that one my full + stoic attention 🧘‍♀️ I can vaguely remember the shape of the story but what most sticks out to me when reflecting is really specific phrases... the gold of your name — an armless embrace of you — sado-slippery I’m sweating and laughing... I'm empty of anything good. Full of the absurd.... just really gorgeous syntax and images and I can see why Hilst + Lispector's styles are compared so often

Live Through This: On Creativity and Self-Destruction edited by Sabrina Chap

admittedly wanted to hate this from the very start with Amanda Palmer's intro ugh like I braced myself for this to be some corny contrived #AngryWomenInArt but I ended up adoring this and hating myself for my initial haterisms.... women in art is actually so real..... really great + diverse selection of artists (I was worried this would be overwhelming white + cis + het but luckily it wasn't!) and it honestly didn't even occur to me to read this as like a guide on how to work through/with creativity, but rather glimpses into other artists' processes and journeys with their own creativity (I initially picked this up for Eileen Myles I think). so personal and honest and inspiring because of that intimacy and honesty. felt good when I recognized some of the other names too, but ofc added a bunch to my TBR as well. made me miss rookiemag and generally a time when feminism didn't seem so glazed in layers of girlboss irony + terfism real bad </3

Smaller and Smaller Circles by F.H. Batacan

MILF PT. 2!!! another Filipino crime fiction win.. I did see the reveal coming the moment the character was introduced but all the build-up made it worth it. I loved that no form of power was safe from criticism—sleazy priests/prominent figures from the church, useless police, sensationalist media, mayors blind to the true needs of their community, the smaller and smaller circles (hehe) of unchecked trauma and abuse, the ways these all tie together to inevitably harm those without a voice or pedestal.. does such a great job shining a light on the hypocrisy and corruption of it all which isn't specific to the Philippines but from the few Filipino works I've read, it really does feel like a reoccurring core theme. with such a vengeance too! watched the movie adaptation last night which cut out a lot of the good/necessary stuff in my opinion but the vibes + casting were spot on so it was just cool to see the gritty world come to life in that way

Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector

BONK this was everything to me like exactly the kind of writing I've been aching for since I was a teenager........ a similar blissful dizziness that I felt reading Hilst — gorgeous sensual painfully moving prose, it's wild to me that a work of fiction could hold this much introspection, each character's state of mind so crystal clearly expressed you can't help but feel a little lost in it. and this is her first book??? I'm thrilled just thinking about how she could possibly hone her craft in later works, I'm so excited to see for myself. this is a sidebar but I pretty much lost all my steam for creative/fiction writing during the pandemic and randomly pushed myself to get back into it in october and between this + Hilst's book I rly do feel more inspired than ever..,. crazy what some beautiful & dreamy sentences can do to you!!

i DONT want to prematurely toot any horns but I think I may actually reach my original reading goal of 50 books this year? just started the last book (Something Wicked This Way Comes) in the 'dark boyhood' trio I planned with my friend and it's going by super fast (probably because it's a childrens book basically LOL) and then I checked out Nana vol 1 & 2 bc I found out my library randomly has them (despite never having anything else I'm ever looking for... like ok) and I usually whiz through graphic novels. I think I may read Powers of Horror as mentioned earlier to balance out the fiction, and I downloaded a few free books by Palestinian authors from here (free to download til Dec 5th) so I'll choose from one of those.. maybe end the year with some poetry, all of which isn't necessarily wintery but simply reading my lil book w a hot drink is cozy enough <3

#asks #cheesehair #reads

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