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silent-sanctum · 2 years

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✧ Polaris ✧ - Jotaro x Reader

PART I. Bento Boxes

Disclaimer: This is my first time writing a self-insert fic on Tumblr so if the formatting is slightly wonky I'm sorry (._.), but rest assured i tried my best ♥

cw: afab! reader, reader is a stand user, fluff, sfw

Word count: 8148

Taking place prior to the events of SC, you're a foreign transfer student taking up high school in Japan, and while still trying to overcome the lingering culture shock, you meet a delinquent that doesn't quite meet your expectations.

When you first saw him, you had thought his eyes were that of the ocean, with depths so deep that are yet to be discovered underneath the shimmering surface.

When he first saw you, he had thought your eyes were that of the night sky devoid of clouds, bearing witness to the galaxy of stars twinkling within.

Both of you had thought the other’s eyes held a world of their own, waiting for the time they would collide at the horizon that would eventually form a safe haven made for the 2 of you.

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Ever since moving to Tokyo 3 years ago, you got accustomed to the culture fairly easy given how similar it was from where you came from. The language was a bit tricky to learn considering you had to familiarize 3 sets of Japanese alphabets. You found the streets quite lovely, peaceful, and comfortable to be in for the long run, though you can’t help but miss the exciting lifestyle and nightlife of your home city.

However, the crowds were something you had yet to get more used to.

You weren’t sure if it was just the lingering homesickness or plain overthinking, but living in a society so reserved and collected made you realize how direct and upfront your fellow brethren were just like you were to them. All in good spirits, of course.

Maybe that was why you found this specific teenager so appealing.

It was the start of the 1st week of school and you had to walk a fair distance to reach your destination. You had passed by some of your batchmates, recognizing them by the plum sailor-like uniforms. Though you went to the same school, your uniform was customized to resemble those belonging in a country like England- plum blazer with a white blouse underneath and a red bow to match.

You had no idea how you managed to persuade the higher-ups, but it worked and you did it.

At the same time, the girls you just walked past suddenly rushed ahead of you, squealing to no ends at a newcomer you just noticed passing by a corner to join the walk on the main road to school. “JoJo” was what they called him in their overtly sweet tones.

The first thought you had about him from behind was that he’s giant as fuck compared to the girls around him. Though, you could tell he was in high school from the gakuran he wore (customized too with the large golden chain dangling from the collar and the ripped hat that oddly blended well with his hair).

He’s a foreigner or half probably… or maybe it’s just genetics on steroids, who knows?

You didn’t want to involve yourself in the swarm of females so you made sure to distance yourself a bit, walking ahead of them but just enough for you to throw a glance at the school’s heartthrob.

And suddenly your cheeks were warm. Not to be them but holy shit, I can see why they’re barking up this tree of a man now. From the front, you could take in his strong jaw, the toned build underneath his faded green shirt and black school jacket, the 2 tessellated triangle-patterned belts, the obvious unamused expression, and the blue-green eyes hidden underneath the tip of his hat.

Those eyes. He seems familiar for some reason.

Déjà vu aside, your mind immediately went to “bad boy” if his demeanor was to be taken into consideration. You still had to judge his character to complete your tiny hypothesis, but you had a feeling he isn’t the type to entertain anyone at the moment.

You shrugged your curiosities away and looked straight ahead, dismissing the crowd behind you, though once their squabbling grew a tad bit too loud for comfort-

“Shut up! All of you are so damn annoying!”

The deep booming voice earned itself a double take, turning to look over your shoulder to see the delinquent gritting his teeth as he shrugged off the persistent females and set a faster pace in his walk. You quickly stepped aside to make room for the other to pass, looking away for extra measure.

Talk about bold and direct. From your peripherals, you could see a glimpse of him slowing for a second to spare a look at you before turning away a second later, resuming his regular pace.

All you had as a response to what had happened were raised brows and a smile of delightful disbelief. “That’s a first.”

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Class flew by with no issue and it was about time to eat.

Looking for a perfect spot to eat lunch should not be this complicated and yet here you are- one hand holding a nicely wrapped bento box you bought from a bento shop near your apartment, and the other tucked underneath your chin, contemplating the ideal location for your daily lunching.

You could always eat in the comforts of your seat, but there was something off-putting in a room with fellow classmates chatting away while eating. It wasn’t that you hated them talking or the possibility of them finding you and including you in their social circle; in fact, you’d love to chat with others with no problem, your Japanese did improve over the years… just not during mealtime.

Same thoughts came through when the cafeteria was brought up in mind, coupled with the added hassle of too much people crowding the place and the noise that came with it. You just wanted to dine in peace. Well, that’s out of the picture.

There was the choice of eating outside… maybe underneath a tree? You sighed. Then again, people are passing by and eating in a sort-of-public area is just not it.

You almost considered giving up and just resorting to the first thought you had, but one more location flickered in your head. Your feet moved on its own and led you up some flight of stairs until you came across a metal door leading you to the school’s open rooftop.

It was cliché, you knew that much, but there was a reason why it became such a recurring spot for many high schoolers.

Immediately, the gentle breeze kissed your face upon entry, lightly blowing loose strands of your hair that made you clip them behind your ear. A satisfied smile grew on your face. “Ahh just as expected.” The place was spacious, surrounded by a fence for safety measures, with a couple of discarded desks and chairs by the wall beside the door, and the resident bad boy smoking on one side of the area.

Wait.

Your eyes raked in the figure sitting by the fence just to make sure you weren’t mistaking him for someone else, but with yet another double take, you could confirm that it was the same teenager.

With the way his body was angled away from the door, it was either he noticed you enter before you did or he braced the arrival of someone that wasn’t necessarily you, like a fangirl of his or a faculty member.

Despite this, you gave a curt and casual bow with a quiet “hello” (with an initial stutter as you switched the language before it slipped out of your mouth by habit). Expectedly, you received nothing but a faint smell of smoke wafting past your nose.

Okay then. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not here to harass you with flowery letters or sweets.” You approached the fenced ledge and sat a comfortable 6 meters away from the other individual. “I’m just here to eat in peace. Okay?”

No answer. “Alright!” You snapped your fingers and turned your attention to your lunch box and began to dig into the meat and veggies inside.

Minutes passed in silence and only when you were halfway finished with your food did you realize that the other did not consume anything. “Yah,” you said. “Did you eat? You’ve been smoking for some time now and didn’t touch anything edible.”

“…Why do you care?” He replied without looking at you, voice gruff as he exhaled a puff of smoke.

You cleared your throat. “I’m just pointing out an observation and then making a question out of that, doesn’t necessarily mean I ‘care’- “

“Tch,” he said. “Mind your business bitch.”

You stared at him with wide eyes and a raised brow. Excuse me? Hello? The countrymen of your place liked to blurt out profanities out in the air like it’s nothing, and you had gotten used to it to the point you took the insult as nothing.

Hearing it from a Japanese (or half) was the second surprise you received from him. Anyone who would’ve heard this would genuinely be appalled at the usage of the word, but to you, it was a breath of fresh air.

Without even thinking too much about it, your hand was on your chest in a fake insulted manner and simply spoke back with a small curl of your lip. “Unnecessary but thank you.”

For the first time within the hour, he turned his head to look at you with furrowed brows, most likely not expecting that type of reply. “That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Oh, I know. It’s just your manners of addressing women is very… how do I say this… colorful,” you replied back, smiling. “It’s my first time hearing such vulgarness in a while so thank you~”

The delinquent didn’t seem to have the words to counter what you just said and for a while, you both stared at each other in another round of silence. He clicked his tongue again and mumbled a quiet yet audible “good grief” before turning away with one last charming remark.

“Weird bitch.”

You scoffed, snarking back with a sweet overtone. “Rude asshole~”

In perfect timing, the bell rang by the time you neatly packed up your emptied lunch box. You sighed and stood, smoothing your skirt before turning to the other. “I know you’re aware but the bell rang just now and we still have class,” you said casually, as if you 2 hadn’t shared insults a few seconds ago.

“I’m heading off now. See you~” You singsonged your farewell greetings, earning you your second “tch” for the day.

Once you had your back turned to him, you couldn’t help but feel a genuine smile grow on your face, the familiar warmness returning to your cheeks. You cocked your head.

“Ah this guy…”

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Once the door clicked shut, he angled himself back into the position he was in prior to your arrival- back facing the fence, arms crossed, and one leg crossed over the other. He tipped his hat over his face, scowling the moment he found your mutual insults… amusing.

In all honesty, he didn’t expect his rooftop guest, nor any girl in this school in general, to be like this.

He was all but ready to bark a firm “get out” the moment the door opened minutes ago, but as he caught sight of your long locks, shining eyes, and unique uniform, his words got caught in his throat and ended up not saying anything. Instead, he turned away before you had noticed him.

He didn’t know why his voice decided to betray him when it hadn’t failed him in yelling at every persistent female on school grounds. Was it because you were the only one who wasn’t falling head-over-heels for him on the walk to school? Because you actually had the decency to respect his space?

Whatever it was, he appreciated it and maybe that was why.

He heard your soft voice clarifying your intentions of being here and remained silent a bit further, irritated with himself that he’s holding his aggressiveness back for you. It was only when you started to question whether he ate or not (which he did and hid the bento his mother lovingly made for him after), did his attitude return.

And when you showed a piece of your own attitude back to him, he was… taken aback. The usual response his admirers would show in response to his bluntness was the typical and annoyingly high-pitched “kya’s”. This was a first for him and a silence grew between you as a result of this. Refusing to back down from your unbothered expression, he muttered out a “good grief” before spitting out “bitch” one more time, thinking maybe another attempt would get under your nerves.

Though when you said “rude asshole” in return, he physically had to will himself not to curl his lip from the unexpected liking he had from the brief first meeting banter he and you had.

The time you left, leaving him by himself on the rooftop, he took one last drag of his cigarette and sighed, dropping the stick onto the floor shortly after and crushing the butt with the heel of his shoe.

“Good grief that woman…”

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Ever since that first day, you decided that lunch at the rooftop with the school’s infamous bad boy would be the routine you’d follow from now on.

You’d walk up the stairs, greet the early smoking bird by the fence with the enthusiasm of a grown puppy, and began eating at the same spot near him, uncaring of his disinterest in you. As usual, not once did the teenager paid any attention to your presence and found the sky more appealing.

Eventually as a couple more of days had passed, you could feel the initial tension fade away into a mutual air of ease between you two, as if both of you had gotten used to each other’s presence despite the lack of proper conversation and vulgar exchange you two did often the second you talked to him.

“Don’t mind me. I’m just gonna start venting out some feelings.”

“Whatever bitch.”

“I’ll take that as an okay then asshole.”

The new vibe between the 2 of you granted you the privilege of speaking your thoughts out into the world to release some stress you kept bottled in little by little. What you talked about? Almost anything. From something you found while window shopping in Shinjuku, to your change in food and music preferences, even to the minute details about what had happened to your rice cooker.

Your rooftop acquaintance had looked at you with a mix of genuine irritation and confusion, probably wondering how and why you became so chatty around him all of a sudden. “Why the fuck are you so noisy these days?”

“Oh, am I now? Don’t worry!” You hovered a finger over your smiling lips. “I can lower my voice to your preferred volume and- get this… curate what the topics I want to talk about. Just think of me like a radio, choose a station to your liking and I’ll broadcast whatever you want to hear.”

“Unplug yourself then.”

“Sorry, I have built in batteries that last a good while.”

“Remove the batteries.”

“Nope. Sorry. The screws been tightly shut. Almost like it was glued close apparently.”

“Good grief.”

Even if it didn’t seem like it, you could notice a tiny shift in his demeanor as more time passed and a couple more bento boxes have been emptied.

It was those small details that one could overlook if not paid closely- the way his body slowly angled toward you despite his attention remaining elsewhere, the split-second curl of his lip every time you called him an ass, the corner of a box peeking out from behind his shoes that implied he does eat lunch (with the bonus of a faint hint of pink on his cheeks once you brought it up), the subtle reactions he made to each of your stories such as a silent scoff and a brief shake of his head, and some other tidbits you were able to pick up on.

The more you just allowed yourself to vent freely, the more you got to observe more who this guy was in a way that wasn’t forced, stiff, or uncomfortable. It was strange how that worked but you didn’t complain about it. Quite the contrary actually.

Few more days in and you were comfortable enough to pause your daily venting and instead ask the delinquent questions about himself, to which was responded with his typical vocabulary of “not your business”, “shut up”, and the ever-present suffix that was “bitch.”

You shrugged. He’ll cave in eventually.

All these lunch periods of you verbally expressing yourself and attempting him to answer your queries had made you realize… Oh my god, I still don’t know his name. You were so contented in calling him “asshole” that an actual name didn’t even pop into mind.

Though it does provide a good starting point for the question-and-answer segments you had with him.

Come next day and you just finished your lunch, you turned to him with a hand cupping your cheek as you pouted. “Listen, I know you keep this silent brooding face up so well to the point you compliment me with ‘bitch’ every time I ask about you, but at the very least can I know what your name is?”

The delinquent regarded the request for a moment, staring at you for a solid minute with a cig between his thumb and forefinger, deeply contemplating whether to answer or not. You hoped he would.

And that he did.

“… Jotaro.”

Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but let out a tiny gasp, a hand coming to hover over your mouth to hide your smile of success. The fact he actually answered properly for once and that you finally knew what to call him by aside from “asshole” …

He cocked a brow and glared at you. “Is knowing my name that amusing to you?”

“Given your silent nature, I’d take any answer from you a win for me,” you smiled. “Jotaro-ssi~”

“Hm?”

“San! I mean Jotaro-san!” You cupped your mouth, heat flooding your cheeks. “Sorry, force of habit. A roll of the tongue, you know?” Oh my god, you get to know him for the first time and you immediately slip-up. Get your head in the game!

Though he couldn’t care less about your tiny mistake as he looked away with a huff, taking another drag of his cigarette. “Whatever.” A prolonged pause hung in the air before he continued, “Well?”

You stared at him with question in your eyes. “Hm? Well what?”

He scowled, crossing his arms. “I’m telling you my name and you’re not telling yours?”

“A-Ah! Right!” You let out a nervous chuckle. Great job me. Your second mistake within the minute. Totally fine. “I’m Y/N.” You bowed your head lightly. “Nice to meet you… though this phrase is way overdue for it to be used in this context.”

With the mention of your name, Jotaro merely nodded his head and turned away to continue smoking. You were left sitting there, half-drowning in your embarrassment. A tiny part of you had been hoping he would repeat your name at least once. It definitely did not wilt in slight disappointment when it didn’t happen. Nope.

Though it seemed insignificant from a social standard, getting to know more about Jotaro was something you were hellbent on achieving. You didn’t know exactly why since learning who was who wasn’t so much as a big deal for you. You regularly made friends and getting their names wasn’t anything major.

Was it that feeling of gratification that someone who would vehemently push others away in a second, was able to tolerate you for quite some time now? That you were able to keep his rude nature at bay when others couldn’t?

Don’t get yourself wrong, he was still rude to you as if the name calling and his ever-present aloofness wasn’t already obvious, but compared to the rest, it was tamer.

You were smug about that idea and pushing through with your interest in the delinquent, continued your days with the silent individual.

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As much as he hated admitting it to himself, Jotaro didn’t mind having you around.

If anything, his usual boring of an hour break became anything but that. You’d pop your head through the door with a huge smile and a wave, you’d sit close to him with the comfortable space intact between the two of you, and start eating.

At some point, even if he knew you didn’t mind it, he wondered if he should do something to replace the silence. Of course, he could always leave under the excuse of a lie like he did multiple times before, but the image of you sitting alone in the roof after the selfish move stirred up an ugly feeling in him. As if he couldn’t bear seeing you upset.

Damnit. Can’t even fucking follow my own protocols.

Or maybe he could… ask questions just for the sake that anything remotely interactive is happening between the two. Start conversations? The fuck- Since when were you good at that Kujo?

Though once you started to spout your life stories out in the open one day, the heavy weight of being expected to initiate communication lifted off of Jotaro’s shoulders. He remained nonchalant to your stories, but he was relieved that at least some excuse of a conversation was happening.

And he was somewhat flattered that you could share that much information about yourself to someone like him out of the blue. People don’t usually hand out details about their life to strangers. With you being able to do so with him, it implied he wasn’t just a reoccurring random bad boy to you.

But to make sure, he had to hear a verbal confirmation from you. He asked in the way he could and you answered with your typical snark and annoying cheeky smile.

He swore he was doing the most just to hold the urge to smile in return.

Of course, Jotaro couldn’t tell you that he was glad you made his day-to-day a bit interesting and found his presence comfortable to be with.

Instead, while you talked, he made sure to listen to everything you said even if his posture said otherwise- he noted that a human-sized plush bear caught your attention at Shinjuku, how you preferred chicken and R&B nowadays, and even how your rice cooker broke because you attempted to cook something else that wasn’t rice.

Unknowing to him, his body started to turn to you little by little with the intent of listening to you better, his lips would betray him every time you insulted him, and because of the slight change of position, you had caught sight of his emptied bento box. He’d hidden his face with the tip of his hat as a result:

“Oh! So, you do eat before you smoke!”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just glad you’re getting your daily meals and not just nicotine 24/7.”

“I said shut up bitch.”

When you asked questions that were about himself, Jotaro didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his past or current life (though it does look like it to those who see him), he just tended to overthink in a situation of casual, friendly talk that didn’t have any sort of threat, malice, or declarations of love laced with it.

Not much happened to me.

There’s nothing much to talk about aside from my appearance.

Shit. Am I this bad at talking to normal people?

As a result, he refused to answer your probing questions with his go-to phrases that remained meaningless when it came to you.

Once you wanted to know his name, his mind blanked for one second. A fairly simple request that didn’t need any thinking. Honestly, he’s surprised you hadn’t known his identity from the many discussions his admirers and the faculty staff had the past few weeks.

Though at second thought, you couldn’t have known it from them since they likely only ever addressed him as “JoJo” and “Kujo” respectively.

Hence, as Jotaro looked into your expectant eyes and pouty lip, he replied to you with his name. Simple and straightforward.

And you physically beamed- eyes sparkling and lips opening behind your hand to let out a small gasp of surprise. He raised his brow and glared at your exaggerated reaction out of sheer confusion. For a second, he thought you found his name funny and was ready to bark back with his usual vulgarness, but once you explained it was because he simply answered normally, he eased up.

However, when the unfamiliar honorific slipped next to his name added with the fact that it was habitual, he caught onto the error the second it was uttered. Together with your upfront personality, he couldn’t help but be more curious about you. And that included knowing your name.

When you didn’t catch the hint, he forced himself to ask for your name. Damnit, why’d you have to wait for me to ask woman?

“I’m Y/N,” you had said, bowing lightly. “Nice to meet you… though this phrase is way overdue for it to be used in this context.”

Y/N. Finally, a name he can call you by if he felt “nice”. Y/N. Jotaro nodded in return, turning away with a cig in-between his teeth to focus on compiling all his mental notes about you, now with your name added among the mix. Y/N. It was nice that it’s simple. Spared him the hassle of pronouncing your name properly.

He breathed in and let out one heavy sigh, leaning back against the fence with his arms behind his head. Admittedly, he couldn’t wait for more of your chatter and maybe he’d be prepared to talk and answer some questions you had for him.

He closed his eyes and your name constantly went on repeat in his mind.

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“Oi, you planning on starving today?”

“Aish.” You threw your empty hands in the air with mild frustration, shutting the door behind you with a gentle kick. You were 30 minutes late for the day and it was all due to your not-so minor morning inconvenience messing with your mood. “Not my fault the nearby shop was closed for the day. Granted, it’s not the first time but- ugh, an advanced notice would’ve been nice.”

“If you’re gonna whine about the inconvenience, then cook lunch yourself idiot.”

“I’ll have you know that I’d love to do that if I had the time to shop for quality ingredients.”

You’d always wanted to make a do-it-yourself lunch box with its contents coming straight from your home city’s signature recipes, but unfortunately you lived in an apartment that was far from a decent grocery and upon asking the locals about it, learned that the nearest location was at least 2 kilometers away. Oh, to have the luxury of having a driver’s license and a car right now.

Jotaro eyed at you for a few more solid seconds before directing his attention elsewhere. Even without the delicacy of shop-bought food, that didn’t stop you from visiting the rooftop to meet with the raven-haired delinquent. The mostly one-sided conversations were far more important than eating anyway.

You made a move to dust your skirt and took a seat at your usual spot, sitting with a crossed leg and your hands interlinked over your knee. With a hefty, acceptance-of-defeat sigh, you said, “I’m gonna tell you something really, really crazy, okay?”

He scoffed. “You tell crazy shit all the time. Why’s this any different?”

“You see, I’ve been venting about all about actual factual stuff in the real world, you know? Some technical issues here, an interesting fun detail about places there, and crap like that, but I’m gonna delve into some… supernatural territory here.”

No response.

“You’re going to judge anyways so I’ll just say it,” you took in a deep breath and continued. “I may have a ghost friend following me around-“ Your words halted mid-sentence when Jotaro’s attention went to you in almost an instant, those cerulean eyes of his suddenly piercing yours. “Hey listen, let me explain!”

“This ghost friend… she’s like this spooky hovering lady with a flowing dress, no legs, and a veil covering her head, and she’s been following me ever since I was a kid. Strangely though, she doesn’t harm me. She shields me,” you said, wringing your fingers together as you tried not to delve too deep into your memories. “She’s sort of a human spirit security blanket… if that’s a thing.”

“She hasn’t visited me in a while, so her just popping out of nowhere really caught me off guard and I’m afraid she’s gonna be hovering around yet again I assume.”

You’ve never opened her up to anyone, not even to your welcoming uncle who’d become your foster father for the past few years. You always thought of her as your secret imaginary friend who manifested to comfort you during your rough childhood despite her ominous look.

You avoided looking back at the past but you could always remember the soft fabric that wrapped around you like a blanket coming from the entity’s unraveled arm in an attempt to comfort you, and how the same fabric stretched taut in front of you countless times to block off and push the people who hurt you away.

It was only when you woke up from a familiar nightmare last night, gasping and sweating, did she make a prominent return, scanning you before wrapping your shivering frame with the fabric you were most fond off.

You thought the nightmares stopped after you moved to Japan, but with what just happened, you just hoped that it wouldn’t occur as frequent as it was back at your homeplace. As a way to cope with your newfound frustration, you decided to vent it out to your unruly acquaintance.

“Well,” you pursed your lips and shrugged. “That’s my vent of the day. The time for uncalled insults and creative phrases of what the fuckery is now open.”

“I have an evil sprit possessing me.”

You physically choked. Now… that was unexpected. “You’re telling me you have your own imaginary friend following you wherever you go?”

“Imaginary my ass. He’s an actual evil spirit that can deliver severe physical violence, and those who got to meet his fists are now in the hospital with several broken bones.”

You listened with full intent as your lips remained slightly agape at the idea and image of Jotaro’s supernatural companion beating up those who most likely crossed him. “Is he someone you can call out or-“

“I’m getting a hang of it, though the bastard acts on its own most of the time.”

“Can you call him now?” You asked, your head tilted out of curiosity. “I’d like to meet him myself so I’ll find relief that I’m not crazy after all.”

“People can’t see yours?”

“No apparently,” you sighed. “Whenever she appears to protect me, they don’t seem to react to her at all. In fact, they become super confused as to why they can’t get to me.”

“Well shit,” he cocked his head. “That makes 2 of us.”

“Ehem~” You cleared you throat, making the raven-haired student glance at you. “May I see him? I’ll call mine in return! Promise!”

You both stared at each other for a moment without the either doing anything, until Jotaro tipped his hat. “Good grief, you better not bullshit me with a fake surprised reaction.” He reached for his hidden empty bento box beside him and tossed it at you to which you caught. “Get up, walk there, and throw it at me as hard as you can.”

You arched a brow at the strange request but did what he asked, getting up to dust your skirt and walking over to the steel door with the box ready to be thrown in your grasp. The delinquent stood several meters away parallel to you with his hands in his pockets, his cigarette left forgotten on the ground.

“Just in case you cuss at me for this, I’ll have you know this was your idea!”

“Just fucking throw it.”

With no further confirmation, you took in a deep breath, held the box in one hand, and reared back into a baseball pitcher’s position. Just then, it just occurred to you that as much as you placed all your effort into it, the lunchbox won’t probably even reach Jotaro from this distance. Realistically, no teenage girl would have the arm power to do so.

But you had a plan.

A slight tingle crept up the hand that held the bento and as discreetly as possible from its position behind you, slender strips of fabric appeared and wrapped themselves around the container. “In the count of 3!” You called out. “1… 2…!” Without having to say the last number, you lurched forward and launched the box at the other with the speed of an expertly-kicked soccer ball.

At the same time the cloths withdrew back into your palm, you watched the speeding object close in toward his direction and for a second, your face readied to warp into a wince with the thought of the box smacking him square in the face.

But as the bento was a second away from doing so, a faint shimmer appeared beside the delinquent’s head and a purple, muscular arm manifested out of thin air just in time to punch the bento in a split second, reducing the box into tiny splinters raining down onto the concrete floor.

You gaped and let out a sound of awe. Well, there’s evidence to said violence. “What did you see?” Jotaro asked, tipping his hat down as he walked to you with casual gait. Involuntarily, you smiled and clapped in response.

“Oh my god! You do have a spirit companion like I do! I’m not crazy!”

“Not an answer,” he said gruffly.

“Ah yeah about that,” you cleared your throat. “To put it simply, an arm came out of nowhere and was what caused your lunchbox to devolve into tiny pieces- oh my god… you destroyed your bento!” You faux gasped in realization. “Money was spent on that!”

“So?” He stopped to stand a few meters away from you. “Have more at home.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, dubious with his choice of action. “Alright then rich boy. If you say so.”

“Your turn.”

“What do you…!” Within a split second, the same arm that demolished the food container headed straight to you in rapid speed before you could comprehend it.

Fortunately, your own spirit was as quick to respond to the attack.

A gush of wind blew strands of your hair back as a result of the impact the black-gloved fist made against the taut, rose gold fabric stretched in front of you. You stilled on the spot as a shot of adrenaline coursed through you, stunned at the sudden attempt.

From beyond the cloth, Jotaro stood there with what appeared to be a brief display of surprise. The cloth withdrew itself immediately into the back of your shoulder blades where it spawned from.

“You… you crazy fuck,” you cocked your head as a laugh of disbelief left you. “Can’t believe you just tried to punch me straight in the- do you know how fucked my face would be if my spirit didn’t shield me?!” At this point, you had every right to be thoroughly mad and yell at his face, though the delinquent remained aloof just as he always was.

Tipping the visor of his hat down, Jotaro cleared his throat. “Alright. I believe you. We both have evil spirits then.”

“Wha- are we gonna forget how you literally tried to punch me in the face?”

The sharp ring of the school bell interrupted the both of you and as much as you weren’t affected by it on a normal day, wringing out a concise apology from the couldn’t-care-less Jotaro was all that flooded your brain, and you couldn’t get that if you were in a class that he wasn’t in.

The other made a move to the door before you did, head slightly tilted down and a hand in his pocket. “Ya!” You grabbed his wrist just as he was about to turn the knob. “No sorry? I deserve one ass hat.”

“After class. Meet me at the gate.”

You blinked. After school meet-up… with Jotaro? Another first you wouldn’t expect from the school’s lone wolf. With your grip loosened, he took the opportunity to draw his arm away, open the door, and walk down the stairs.

With all that had happened for the past hour, your brain had yet to process it all- the visible ghosts, the closed bento shop, Jotaro’s smashed bento box, the thoughts of your past vaguely present in your mind, and the most recent offer of an after-school hangout.

You scoffed. Ah what an eventful lunch period.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

In all honesty, as you walked down the last flight of stairs and to the main entrance, you expected the delinquent to not be where he said he would be due to his uncaring nature.

But as you stepped outside, you could see a tall figure leaning against the gate walls with one hand holding his school bag and the other in his pocket, ignoring the handful of girls fawning over him as they pass him by. As if he sensed you coming, he glanced at you for a solid second and pushed himself off of the concrete.

“Ooh~” You remarked, mildly impressed at the commitment. “A man of his words, I see.”

Jotaro grumbled out words you couldn’t make out and with you now by his side, you two exited school grounds and made your way down the street. “Does it look like I’m the type to offer things at random?”

You hummed, your lips forming a tiny pout. “No, but you do look the type to get people’s hopes up with empty promises.”

The raven-haired teen didn’t respond immediately, though when he did, it came in the form of a scoff followed with a mumbling of “yeah right.”

5 minutes into your walk was filled with silence, neither party having nothing to share until you decided to play icebreaker as you always do in this type of scenario. “So…” You clapped your hands together once. “Mind telling me why you asked me to walk with you after school? No apologies were said so I see no other purpose of my presence here.”

“I’m going to buy some cigs.”

“Yeah? And I play into this how?” No response. An idea popped into mind and you couldn’t help but smirk a bit upon the thought of saying it. You bowed a bit with your arms behind you, turning your head to look at him beneath his hat. “You in the mood for a companion today Mr. Bad Boy?”

No one should have the balls of saying anything that was remotely taunting to Jotaro’s face, especially considering his massive hands were intimidating and looked like it lived up to violent expectations.

However, the latter’s face merely warped into a familiar scowl accompanied with the habit of tipping his hat.

You let out an airy laugh. “Okay okay, enough teasing from me. Since you’re not apologizing anytime soon, can I at least request something from you? Nothing too extreme don’t worry.” You said with your form back in an upright position. “Can I see him in entirety? His arm is quite thick and lovely and all, but a full body appearance is much appreciated.”

“You want another test run?”

“Is that a threat?” You said light heartedly, sending him a pointed look along with a finger pointed at him. “But in all seriousness, I’m really curious about your evil spirit. Plus, it’s not fair for me to give a detailed description of my spirit to you and for you to not return the favor.”

“Did not ask for it.”

“Your body did though don’t lie,” Jotaro was about to retort something in return, only for nothing to come out of his mouth. The lack of response helped spark that inner smugness in you and a smirk grew from it. “Aha. Guilty as charged.”

The delinquent looked away with a hand coming to hold the tip of his hat yet again. At closer look, you could spot a very faint red dusting his cheek. “Good grief. Just shut up bitch.”

You huffed, keeping the proud smug on your face intact even as you directed your attention back to the path ahead. “You still owe me an introduction to your spirit asshole.”

“Whatever.”

Banter through, you both found yourselves walking past few commercial buildings that included small business shops and convenience stores. Often times, when you walked past them on a regular afternoon, you were tempted to spend some money on what they offered just to quell that tiny explorer in you.

You let Jotaro walk ahead of you since it was his idea of wanting to buy a pack of cigarettes. He said nothing as he stepped into one of the stores by the street, leaving you standing by yourself outside with nothing but your wandering thoughts and school bag in hand to keep you occupied.

Several minutes passed and the sky began its transition from orange to dark blue, you found yourself squatted in the same spot as you watched the windows from the buildings around you start to light up. Your bag was put down beside you while you had your cheek in the palm of your hand, contemplating whether to leave his tardy ass in the shop.

Probably after few more minutes, you had thought that perhaps the bad boy stayed true to his role and ultimately decided to leave you first after having his lowkey wish that was a friend fulfilled. Through a back door maybe? Do convenience stores even have back doors where customers can flee to?

A groan was about to leave you as you stood, only to be interrupted at the sound of the door opening and the rustle of plastic mixed with faint clanking of what would be drink cans. You crossed your arms and stared at Jotaro who exited the way he entered. Devoid of emotion.

“That took a crap load of minutes just for you to buy a pack of cigs,” your gaze trailed down to his hands where a plastic bag hung, obviously filled with more things than just one box of health hazards. “Also, damn. Should I keep note that ‘some’ equates to ‘dozen’? Because that’s not just one pack.”

He said nothing as he dumped the whole bag into your arms, having the audacity of reaching into it to fish for the newly bought cigarette pack and-

“You drink too?!” You exclaimed, watching the other open the beer can and chugging the liquid down. “Oh my god. Remind me to pray for your lungs and liver.” He sent you a look and you shrugged. “I know… mind your business bitch.”

Emptied of its contents, he crushed the can with one hand and tossed the plastic onto a nearby trash chute. “Address.”

“Excuse?”

“Your address.”

You spluttered. “Ah just straight ahead from here. Why?”

In typical fashion, he remained wordless and picked the bag off your arms as he strode ahead in the direction of your apartment. You sighed, cocking your head. “Aish. What’s up with him and not answering questions properly?” You muttered to no one as you caught up to him in a second.

The destination wasn’t too far from the store you both stopped by at. Coming from there, it was an easy 5-minute walk. From small commercial buildings to residential homes, you two only had a couple more steps until you arrived at your apartment and call it a day.

You skipped forward, past the towering teenager (whose eyes were too busy scanning his surroundings to pay attention to you), and stood by the apartment’s entrance. “I don’t know about you, but this is where I’ll be dropping off.”

Jotaro diverted his gaze back at you.

Another few seconds of awkward silence before you cleared the air with a sigh and a clap. “Well… I may not be getting that apology at any point in time, but since you kind of accompanied me home, I’ll take that as an alternative.” You let out a genuine smile and gave him a small bow. “Thanks for that I suppose.”

The delinquent stared at you for a moment with no response, though you could make out the slight widening of his eyes while he looked at you.

You waited for a couple of seconds just in case he needed to find whatever words he could formulate in this situation, and you took this opportunity to appreciate those cerulean eyes of his and how pretty they were in contrast to his rugged appearance.

Eventually, Jotaro turned away from you, tipped his hat for the last time within the day and muttered out his signature catchphrase, all while he reached into the plastic to pocket the pack of cigarettes. You were about to tease him a little bit about his mannerisms until he handed you the bag with a simple “hold it.”

You were about to ask why he kept using you as a living rack, but the raven-haired teen had already turned on his heels, walking the opposite direction. “Hey! Why’d you-“ Before your question was said, the bag opened itself in your grasp and you could recognize the sight of food inside.

Immediately, you lowered into a squat to shuffle through the plastic bag’s contents- 2 bento boxes with each having different meals, a water bottle, a couple of small snacks, and a single note attached to the uppermost bento:

This was for trying to punch you.

Sorry.

Your cheeks flushed instantly, flustered as a visceral feeling of flattery coursed through you, leaving your form stunned. No way… This- Wha-. “Ya!” Apparently, a yell to the retreating figure was your brain’s immediate response to the non-verbal apology. “This is- I mean thanks so much! I’m really hungry and all, but I’d be okay if you’d simply said sorry!”

A half-raised hand from the distance was all you got in return, which did not help calm the jittery sensation you felt at the moment. “But thanks a bunch!”

You gathered your bearings together and attempted to steel yourself into composure, picking the plastic bag up and entering the apartment building with a shy smile growing on your face. However, 10 steps in and all of a sudden, you realized something was missing in your possession.

School bag. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, doing the utmost possible to not explode in confusion and frustration. You left it at the convenience store dumbass. You swore today couldn’t get more overwhelming as it already was.

And then the door knocked. You answered it and you entered into a new level of dumbstruck.

Standing- no, hovering before you was a bulky, purple humanoid with long flowing black hair, red scarf, golden shoulder plates, white loincloth, and black shoes. “Uh…” You remained speechless as he offered you a school bag, which upon looking closer was yours due to the name found in the corner of the leather.

It took less than a second for you to recognize this entity- the fingerless black gloves, the thick purple arm, the blue-green eyes. Those damn eyes.

This was Jotaro’s so-called evil spirit… casually giving you your bag with a quiet “ora”, followed with him waving at you with a grin before closing the door for you.

What was happening? You blinked a couple of times and stared at your newly-received bag for a few more seconds. Today must be a fever dream. If it weren’t for your growling stomach, you could’ve ended up staying in the same spot for the rest of the evening.

Coming to your senses, you settled into your apartment space, freshened yourself up, and prepared the table along with the food that came from the delinquent’s money. Recalling it again, you cocked your head in disbelief, still reeling from the unexpected sorry note.

Just as you were about to dine, you thought about paying him back in some fashion and reached into the school bag beside you to pull out your wallet, just to check how you fared financially, only for you to feel the corner of paper underneath the bag’s lid.

Flipping it over, there was another sticky note with a message written in the same handwriting as the previous. Reading it, your cheeks grew warm the second time as you smiled to yourself and scoffed:

Thought it’d be fair.

Also, don’t leave your bag stupid.

You held your cheek against your palm, a dumb smile fixed on your face. “Ah this guy really…” On second thought, maybe this infamous bad boy was more than what he looked on the outside.

Your new life in Japan might not be as boring as you thought it would be after all.

#jotaro x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyō na bōken #jjba #jotaro kujo #jotaro x y/n #jotaro x you #jojo part 3 #polaris au

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 7 months

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Oh. Just read your post about child reader for characters who are traumatized and my first thought was….reactions for a child reader who is considered to have some form of disability and doesn’t fit in in general society, befriending the circus troupe and them hanging out with said child, before realizing they have friends their age who are considered “normal” by their standards and that these friends and their parents actually help and care for disabled child reader like it’s the most natural thing in the world and can even lightly joke about it with the reader.

Like, if the readers friends were questioned why they go so far to help and include them, they would just say something like, “but they’re our friend. Isn’t that what friends do?”

Gah. Basically what they needed as kids 😭🥺💕

noooo haha don't make me cry- XD

Fuckin’ ‘ell, make ‘er cry, why don’t y’?! It’s so difficult for her to swallow down any visceral reaction about this, because… well… it’s true. That kind of support was what she and her family needed and didn’t get when they were younger. (In some ways, they still need it now.) While there’s a part of her which automatically distrusts the situation, worried that your friends and their parents are trying to take advantage of you in some way, the part of her that still has hope wins out. This is a wonderful things that’s happening, and she’s happy for you. Even though she’ll try to help you as best she can, it’s a relief that other people with possibly more resources want to help you, too.

Lord, God, it’s… times are changin’, ain’t they? This is the first time he’s seen someone like you being really, truly accepted by people in ‘normal’ society. Not only that, you have friends who understand that you might have some limits, and their parents understand too, and… they help you. They help you without looking down on you and they treat you like a person, not some half-a-person like the world treated him and his family. It warms his heart more than he knows how to express. That’s it; all your other friends get rides on his back just like you do!! He’s just… he’s glad that even when he can’t be there to help you, you have other people.

Wow… would y’ look at that? That’s somethin’ else! They’re very impressed by the ease with which these other children and their parents have just… taken you in as one of their own. Even Freckles themself was a cheerful and somewhat carefree child despite their circumstances, but this is on a whole other level. You don’t ever need to worry, because you’ve got them and your other friends and their parents to look after you. They all love you, and Freckles is over the moon to see you having good relationships with so-called ‘normal’ people. To them, it means that things in society are getting better. You’ve got people behind you to give you plenty of support… and, for the record, Freckles is delighted to be one of those people!

Well, well, now… that’s a sigh’ f’r sore eyes. As if ‘e’s ever seen anythin’ like that before. The discovery hits him like a punch to the stomach, except in the best way possible given how hard emotions always hit him. For their whole lives, he and his family were cast out from the world because of the things that were supposedly ‘wrong’ with them. Then here you are, with so many people who care about you and they don’t think anything’s wrong with you. They just see a person, not someone who’s missing parts or too big or too small or whatever it is. Around you, he just smiles… in private, the first time it actually fully registers with him, he cries. He didn’t have that sort of thing when he was young. You do. The future is going to be better than the past he grew up in, thank God.

That’s… incredible. It’s like nothin’ ‘e’s ever seen before, ‘n’ thank God f’r it. He doesn’t even have a word for how it makes him feel, although he’s never really been a man of many words anyway. To see other people treating you so well, as if there’s not a thing that’s out of the ordinary about you, tugs at his heart. For most of his family, it was unavoidable; they were all so physically disabled, nobody could pretend something wasn’t off about them. He’s almost moved to tears when he realizes that you have other friends, ‘conventional’ people who treat you like one of them… because you are one of them. The world is getting better, bit by bit. He’s honored to be a witness to it, firsthand.

Fuckin’… wot… is ‘e seein’ wot ‘e thinks ‘e’s seein’?? Honestly, he finds it hard to believe, even though he wants to believe it. People like that don’t really care about people like you — people like you, people like him. His family know what it’s like. None of them ever had such overwhelming support; what is it about you that people want to accept you like that? He doesn’t understand that it just so happens, your friends and their parents are good people. He never ran into any good people, not the way you have. He’s happy for you, of course, that he and his sister don’t have to be the only ones who are nice to you… but he also can’t help being a little jealous. What you have is something the little boy he used to be aches to have had.

(Oh, (Name) has such good friends! Can you imagine?) Well… no, he can’t really, Donne. He wishes he could, though. The only way Snake can even sort of imagine it is to think about what he has with his family. If he’d met them all earlier, he might have something similar to what you have. Even then, nobody in ‘normal’ society would have taken him in like your friends and their parents have. To see these people treating you like just another person, without any kind of inclination that they think you’re different in a deeply terrible, irreconcilable way… it’s almost healing to a part of him. While he’ll always happily support you and be your friend, he’s relieved that he isn’t your only friend.

Goodness, it’s almos’ unthinkable, ain’t it? T’ see other people jus’… bein’ ‘appy t’ be with y’. She’s so used to thinking something is wrong with her and her family, even though you knows there’s not, that she’s terrified when she first sees these other people around you. A big part of her believes they’re hurting or exploiting you in some way. When she sees that isn’t the case… she’s shocked. These people just take you as you are? Differences and all? It doesn’t bother them? Much like her brother, she has some envy about it… mostly she’s happy for you. If you’ve found other people who accept you, who give you help and love without being patronizing, she’s glad. Your life will be better for it, and hopefully, you won’t have to suffer the way she and her family have.

#thatswhatiamlovernotafighter #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Beast #Dagger #Doll/Freckles #Joker #Jumbo #Peter #Snake #Wendy #reaction #platonic #friendship #fluff #UGHHHHH THE FEELINGS!!!!!! PLEASE OW-#one hell of a queue

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welcomewithmetonight-thechaos · 1 year

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The Evolution of Hob Gadling

(and Dreamling as its consequence)

This is inspired by this post. The person asked not to fight in the comment section and I want to respect their wishes. The premise was just too good to let it go entirely, they pointed out many accurate things; so I’d like to bring up some additional aspects I think are important to consider to understand the totality of the episode. (I’m drawing on the TV show, mainly, because I don’t have the comics present).

In their quest for immortality and defeating death there really is no difference between Burgess and Hob in 1389 and I’m pretty sure that if Hob had had the means, he, too, would have tried to capture Death and make a bargain, just as ruthlessly, might even have become greedy, same as Burgess.

Hob is self-centred and ignorant at the beginning and stays it for a long time. I’ve thought a lot about the meetings once a century from 1489 going onward and how in the first conversation Hob asks if Dream is interested in him, while Dream only cares about Hob’s experience of the world.

Dream pretty much intends to use Hob to prove a point, which is that Dream is justified in being tired of life himself.

Hob appears as the personification and representation of Western European/White humanity in the comic, which means he will not be non-conformist or critical of society; he just goes with the flow, following the currents of shady justification that is Western thought and philosophy over the centuries. He is not a creative or great mind. He will probably never write a book or learn a musical instrument; he’s just some guy.

It took Dream pointing out the cruelty of the slave trade for him to even consider it. Trying to protect Dream against Lady Johanna is a matter of civil courage, which people show no matter their political beliefs – it is a key trait of humanity.

In the 18th century, too, Hob just does things how they’re done. Calling Lushing Lou “the hospital” and thinking it funny, etc. However, I must point out that he is receptive to Dream’s assertions about her and beyond being quick to judge, as society is, he considers her as a person (if not becomes sympathetic towards her) when he learns more about her through Dream.

I do not think it is loneliness that motivates Hob to offer Dream friendship. Humans strive for connection, that is true, but in some way we can never totally achieve it. And Hob is not much more lonely then he was in the 14th century, before he became immortal: an age where death of close family was common and a force to be reckoned with; child mortality was high, plague was everywhere and people who got sick or hurt simply died. He probably grew up used to everyone around him dying. The loneliness that Hob might experience is simply the human condition of an individual that understands itself as a separate person/entity.

Just as instinctual is his reaching out to Dream for friendship, his need to connect with people. He sees human traits in Dream and relates to him.Hob basically says “I think I’m worthy of your friendship” to a clearly prideful eldritch being whom he knows nothing about.

It is simply the audacity of a humanity that considers itself worth of love, that considers itself equal. Hob is very much the personification of a life form that writes stories upon stories about their own cruelty and how it would be better if they didn’t exist at all but still found their right to existence on their capability to love, on their capability of creation, not least the creation of relationships of all kinds.

Whereupon Dream’s reaction is that of a god (I know he is not a god, but his role is very similar) who looks in disdain upon those he was meant to serve. Therefore, his acknowledgement of friendship is so important in 2022; he essentially deems humanity worthy of love. For this meta-level it is no importance if their relationship is platonic or romantic, what matters is their mutual respect and caring about one another.

As to why people ship Dreamling: Hob’s character is not only coined by his representation of humanity but by his love for and of life, his enjoyment of simple things (see: ale to drink, people to drink it with). Whereas Dream appears as simply fulfilling a duty, burdened by his role; depression is a recurring theme when it comes to his character. In loving Hob beyond the level of platonic friendship (again, it doesn’t matter if it’s queerplatonic or romantic) and seeking his company more frequently, Dream essentially ceases to be a tragically flawed character destined to bring about his own doom. He is in love with the love of life in a time where he struggles with loving life on his own accord. Hob is also one of the only characters in the TV show who is not either Dream’s enemy, his subject or his family; instead he appears as Dream’s opposite.

Hob in 2022 on the other hand is someone who lives in a pluralistic society, where go with the flow could be many things, which means that he cannot serve as the personification of humanity anymore, because the complexity of humanity is finally acknowledged and cannot be represented by a single person. He is thus free to find his own way in a individualistic society as one amongst many others, is basically forced to think for himself and make his own decisions. (The existential dread as described by Sartre). This impression is reinforced by the closing of the White Horse and Hob being stood up in 1989. It is obvious that without the consistency of the centennial meetings Hob’s purpose for live – that of telling about it, is no longer relevant. Hob feels adrift, so he decides to cling to the closest thing that he has to a constant and waits for Dream in the nearest Inn.

But it isn’t enough. Hob is forced to make a life in this new, everchanging world, so he becomes a teacher/professor (based on him grading papers). Now we do not know his profession in 1889 or 1989, but regardless this new position symbolizes the change Hob has gone through. It is his first profession over the centuries where its prestige is not based on the opinion of society (as were his previous knighthood or his status as a tradesman) but on respect and his own abilities. With teaching also comes responsibility which he previously preferred to brush off.

But still, he is anchorless, still he comes to the New Inn. When Dream comes back, he brings that needed affirmation with him.

In conclusion, over the course of their acquaintance, Dream and Hob drift towards each other, Dream overcomes his sense of superiority and learns to enjoy life again while Hob learns to become responsible for his actions, a responsibility that is superimposed on Dream as the ruler of a realm.

Both have done horrible, unforgivable things in their pasts, but both find themselves changing and encouraging change within the other. Neither of them are good people, not even in 2022 (judged by current morality standards they may even be the villains of other people’s stories) but they’re good for one another as in they complete each other. (It is this complexity which makes it so difficult to write these characters accurately in fanfiction; much of what comprises them is a metaphysical undercurrent and never said out loud but cannot be disregarded in characterizations.)

And then there is of course the tension underlying of all their interactions, 1489 “are you interested in me?”, 1589 Hob being jealous, 1689 the sadness and first moment of compassion in Dream’s eyes when he thinks Hob wants to die (which is also sadness for himself, for having been right), in 1789 especially their facial expressions and body language (think of Hob nervously tugging at his ear), Dream’s willingness to open up slowly in 1889 and their sickeningly fond smiles in 2022.

For Dreamling becoming a possibility, it is very important that we know nothing of how their conversation goes in 2022. We see only Dream’s relaxed posture and Hob’s broader than ever smile, which open a wide range of possibility for how their relationship proceeds. All of them are positive.

Do I think their relationship could have turned romantic anytime before 2022? No.

But by 2022 both of them have evolved enough that love between them becomes not only possible but also very probable.

#dreamling #netflix sandman #the sandman tv #dream of the endless #hob gadling #hob x morpheus #hob x dream #dream x hob #centennial boyfriends #morally grey characters #i have too much time #and it turns out i love doing literary (or media) analysis when it comes to the sandman #because there are so many layers of philosophical thought #which makes so many different interpretations possible

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arcielee · 11 months

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Interview With a Writer

So I have been doing a lot of HotD stories (specifically Aemond and Aegon) but have since ventured out more in the Ewan universe? With that said, here is part 7 of my Interview With a Writer series with the amazing @assortedseaglass, delving into World on Fire and the cunt we love, Tom Bennett. 💜 As always, thank you for taking the time and allowing this series to continue!

You can look over the masterlist for this series and see the other amazing authors I have spoken with. This is just a BTS of some of the talented minds on Tumblr and ao3. 💜

Name: assortedseaglass

Story: The Seamstress & The Sailor

Paring: Tom Bennett x OFC

Rating/Warning: World on Fire spoilers, language, era typical sexism and ablism, sexual assault, war and injury detail, smut.

So, when did you start writing? I started writing as a kid, I always had a really vivid imagination. I used to make little books and write plays! Then, when I was 13, I had a really good English teacher that encouraged my writing and reading. He said to me once, “if you can do it, why not reach for the stars?” And that confidence in me meant so much, and I apply it a lot to my life now.

He left school and without that encouragement my writing turned more to keeping journals and diaries, but then I took a chance and did master’s in creative non-fiction and, I’m exposing myself here, now I write professionally! But on a completely different subject and form!

Where did the idea for The Seamstress & The Sailor come from? Tom Bennett had been rattling around in my head for a while, so I knew I wanted to write a story about him.

I’d also recently rewatched a series called Lilies which is about three sisters in Liverpool in the aftermath of the First World War. I loved their dynamic and suddenly how I could write Tom’s story came into view. Added to that, I am from a large Irish family (a bit like the Vaughns), and my maternal family is only a few miles from Longsight where World on Fire is set. Suddenly, lots slotted into place!

What inspired your character creation Bess Vaughn? When I have a story idea, the characters always come first. I knew early on that I needed someone to challenge Tom, and that had to be someone special because he’s such hard work! I thought a lot about what would make Tom angry, what would entice him, and who would be a good foil. That all boiled down to Bess.

To flesh her out, I took inspiration from my grandmothers. My maternal grandmother was a seamstress who lived near Longsight, and my paternal grandmother made ammunitions in a factory (the job I gave to Bess’ sisters). Their photos are at the end of some of the chapters and I’m endlessly proud that they’re part of my history!

Can you expand on how Bess complements Tom (oh-so well)? My take on Tom is that he was a confident child, and took this confidence and started to act out after his mother died. He says what he thinks and doesn’t worry about the consequences. War wakes him up to is faults.

Bess, on the other hand, was not confident as a child, and only grew in confidence as an adult. She became sure of her place, whereas Tom started to question it. She rarely speaks her mind, only when she feels it is needed. War wakes her up to her strengths.

In that way they are different, but the have common ground too. Both are incredibly loyal, lost their mothers young and have things to prove. Tom, that’s he’s not just a petty criminal with no direction, Bess that she is worthy of a place despite her difference to her peers. Both of them also want to prove that there is more to the working class than what society expects of them.

I think those core elements that are similar, but the small differences that challenge each other, make them an ideal fit.

Do you have a favorite chapter or moment in this story? Chapter Nine was my favourite to write, I think.

There will be spoilers here, but having them finally get together was blissful to write. Their slow tiptoeing around their feelings, the heady mix of the dance and the war, I think it made for a satisfying moment when they do admit their want each other.

I also enjoyed having that happen halfway through the first part of this story; so many stories end at that point, and I love reading those, but I wanted more turbulence for Bess and Tom. Relationships are complicated, let alone relationships during wartime. I also loved writing the Vaughn sisters, each with their own dynamic. Motherly and stern Cora, quiet and confident Bess, giddy and girlish Dot. The letters between Tom and Bess were fun, to really get into their heads and imagine how they would put their thoughts onto paper. But I have to mention, I adored writing the little moments between Douglas and Bess. They are incredibly similar in character; quiet, certain of themselves and they love Tom so, so much. Bess has that awkward little moment with him because of that similarity, and because he is like Tom.

Also, as we have mentioned many a time between us that HELLO, SEAN BEAN!

Photo source.

Writing any scenes that were already in World on Fire were hard, trying to work my own characters into the narrative and getting inside Tom's head. Ewan Mitchell is such a good actor that we can see what is happening in his character's minds, but putting that to writing is hard because those feelings are complex.

Was there another character in your story you enjoyed writing? Dot and Queenie were an absolute hoot to write!

Dot is a little childish and judgmental, but so sweet and full of life. So different to her sisters and for that reason I loved writing her making these little comments that made Cora tut or Bess roll her eyes. I loved, too, that she helps keep Fergal happy. While Cora and Bess try to keep him afloat practically, which is important (bringing in extra money and cooking meals) Dot makes his heart sing just by being her silly little self.

Where Tom needed a foil, so did Bess, and that was Queenie. She is loud and gobby and flaunts her femininity in the opposite way to Bess and I think that makes Bess struggle. She also represents a link between Bess’ difficult childhood, with Queenie courting one of Bess’ bullies (Frank), and her adulthood; Bess is judgmental and while Queenie can be difficult, she doesn’t really do anything wrong. That moment when Tom tells Bess to give Queenie a break is a turning point for her – Bess is used to having the moral high ground over Tom and with that comment in his letter he challenges her thinking. I have a real soft spot for Queenie, but I’d hate to spend time with her though!

Is there another story you are working on? Perhaps a sequel? Other than working through my first ever requests, my main WIP is Borne & Bound, which is an AemondxOFC story.

Mr Darcy-coded Aemond, plenty of Helaena (which my parents almost called me!), and a bright woman from a minor house. She is going to be quite different from Ida and Bess, less introspective. As always, I’m putting in a lot of research to make my characters seem like real people, and I can’t wait to share it. I’m just working out the next few chapters because I’ve hit a minor block with where it’ll go. But the first chapter will be coming soon!

There’ll also be more of Bess and Tom once I’ve watched Word on Fire series two…I am SO EXCITED about new Tom content. Whether he dies or not, him on screen is a blessing!

Do you have a personal favorite story you'd like to share? That's You Were Always With Me by @myfandomprompts Fire and Sapphire by morrisette_sabbath (on ao3) I just finished the latest update and avidly waiting for more!

#interview with a writer #iwaw7 #bts #of their brilliant writing #world on fire fanfiction #tom bennett fanfiction #tom bennett x ofc

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darklordazalin · 1 year

Text

Azalin Reviews: Darklord Ladislav Mircea

OOC: A day later than my normal review schedule, but at least I still posted one this week. I was too busy celebration international asexuality day yesterday.

Formation: 607 BC Power Level: 💀💀⚫⚫⚫ (2/5 Skulls) Sources: Realm of Terror (2e), Ravenloft Dungeon Master’s Guide (2e), Ravenloft 3.0, Denizens of Darkness (3e) CW: Plague

Ladislva, a highly original vampire name that is a variant of “Vladislav”, is a frozen waste of space, which makes his Domain very suitable for him. Sanguinia is a frozen, mountainous Domain where inhabitants struggle to survive. Once an Island of Terror, Sanguinia disappeared after the Grand Conjunction. You’re welcome. We did not need another frozen wasteland ruled by yet another vampire. Though, the Dark Powers disagreed with me, as they often do, and Sanguinia reappeared as part of the Frozen Reaches.

Ladislav grew up a vain man, caring more about his physical features than the people he ruled. He’s said to be handsome, but is not important enough to have any artwork associated with him so, I just picture him to look like every other vampire...That is, they think they’re incredibly attractive but haven’t seen their gaunt form in a mirror for centuries...

When a plague ravaged his land, instead of dealing with it like a responsible leader would, he chose to ignore it and invited all of his spoiled friends to Castle Guirgui where they would spend the plague lavished in luxury and splendor. I believe an author of Gothic Earth penned a similar tail entitled "Masque of the Red Death".

If you do nothing about a disease spreading through your land, it will infect the majority of the population, leaving you with a pile of corpses to rule over, which only desirable if one is a lich...

Unless you lock yourself completely off from society, the plague will eventually find its way to you, which is precisely what happened to Ladislav. First some of his friends were infected, so he decided to throw them over the castle wall to their death, but, upon doing so, Ladislav had been exposed and found himself infected.

You know the easiest way to deal with a plague? Quarantine and extremely strict measures to enforce it. That’s how I fought the Crimson Death that spread across Darkon. People rarely remember that though and focus more on the times I lost myself in my own experiments instead of governing...but that’s why I appointed Barons to look after the settlements. I digress...Ladislav caught the disease himself. When this happened, he turned to alchemical experimentation and studying bodily humours. Not the brightest of individuals, he decided it was a good idea to drink the blood of healthy people to rid himself of the disease. This is what happens when the ignorant layman experiments with 'natural' remedies.

Regardless of his foolish efforts, Ladislav was sort of successful, if his goal was to become a Vrykolaka. A Vrykolaka is a vampire that has been tainted by disease. Their bodies display the ravages of disease, but they do not suffer from it themselves. They can, however, spread disease to their victims through their long, filthy claws. They drain bile and emotions as well as blood from their victims and perhaps more disturbingly, they do so through a barbed tongue instead of the more traditional vampiric fangs.

Now, a Darklord, Ladislva rules with a casual malice and only for his own amusement. He will ignore his subjects, which they are glad for, to brood in his castle for months on end and spends most of his time attempting to find a way to cure himself of his undead condition. Let me know if you find something, not Vlad...I am interested in such things myself, though I highly doubt one of your remedial skill will succeed.

No picture, barely a story and yet another vampire. Ladislva gets 2 skulls simply because he is, at least, not your standard, run-of-the-mill bloody sucking overgrown tick like every other vampire in the Mists.

#darklordreviews #azalin rex #ladislav mircea #ravenloft #dnd #sanguinia #vrykolaka vampire #masquerade of the red death is one of my favorite short stories

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house-of-mirrors · 1 year

Text

I’ve finished the long awaited bio post for the third of my player characters, Miles! I’ve mentioned them before, my horrible son, spaghetti noodle of a human being, character with which I make evil choices to see text. You may send a calling card to The Remorseful Apprentice, or you may find the old profile of The Avid Occultist. Here is the Picrew link

Why do I have two versions of the same character? Short answer, I missed them too much after knocking so here we are.

Quick facts:

· Miles symbolizes the corruption of high society in the Victorian Era. They were born into a wealthy family and grew up with entitlement and imperialistic views in what I’ve heard my grandfather call “the age of arrogance.” The world is theirs, and it’s their right to have whatever they want. Given the choice between pursuit of power and anything else, they will always choose power. External corruption with the red science and seeking reflects internal and generational corruption.

· “No shame, no spine, no self-awareness”

· If asked to choose a gender option on a form, they would circle all of them. They’re not too particular with pronouns and sometimes use he/him, but I most often use they/them for Miles. Distinctly a femme presentation. Miles and Orsinio are mtf/ftm hostility.

· They are somewhere on the autism spectrum; it manifests as touch aversion and a difficulty in making real friends despite being a social butterfly. Touch aversion somewhat plays into them being aromantic, but they genuinely have no interest in it. Miles gets the badge of being my one allosexual OC.

· Miles greatly struggles with mental health, much of which comes from family trauma, and being in the Neath makes that a ticking time bomb. If they had therapy and antidepressants, the whole tragedy could have been averted. TW ahead for darker discussion of mental illness, SMEN typical self-harm.

Now, I can’t explain why Miles is a villain without explaining how their actions affect the rest of the plot, so this “bio” is more of a whole summary of a narrative arc. Under the cut became more or less a mini fic, so FYI that it is longer than usual for my character posts. Also includes some mentions of my friend's characters. For someone who complains about SMEN so much, I sure did base a significant chunk of my OC stories around it, didn’t I? Tragic. (The themes of temptation lured me in, and when I realized how much I didn’t like it, I was already too committed to the story, alas.)

You may wonder as you read, “Hey, why does Miles’ story include so much about Orsinio?” Well, Miles thinks they’re a main character, but they’re actually a side character. You may also wonder, how does having two versions of the same character with wildly conflicting ambitions work in the timeline? No single thing shall be a single thing. Major spoilers ahead for SMEN (including vague detail about the hate ending) and the discordance, as well as all ambitions.

Early Story

· The Lovelace family made its fortune in the textiles industry. Incredibly dysfunctional with the detached parenting typical of the time within the leisure class. Neither of their parents is great, but Miles mostly has daddy issues:tm:. There are also large age gaps between the children; Miles is the second youngest and only close to their younger sister, Marguerite

· Negative attention is still attention which leads to Miles getting involved in multiple scandals. It also isn’t a good look for Miles to not yet be married or engaged, which they’re really uncomfortable with, being aromantic. The final straw is a gambling debt, after which their father, Julian, disowns them until they make something respectable of themself

· Miles has heard rumors about the Neath and decides to go to try to make their fortune. Before leaving, Marguerite gives them her necklace and asks them to be safe for her

· Soon after arriving, Miles learns about the Marvellous. They need a path to attain their own fortune and power, and this is a promised road to rising the ranks. They say they’re doing this to prove themself, but really, they’re only throwing themself into their vices. I follow the interpretation that Heart’s Desire is a metaphor for addiction.

· At a bohemian event, Miles meets a Professor. Orsinio tries to be mentoring to a new arrival, but Miles is prickly and pro-monarchy and they part bitterly, though Miles does become close to their mutual friend, Elliot

Seven is the Number

· As Miles progresses through the Marvellous, they begin to hear a voice in their head telling them they can have much more power than the Masters can offer. The voice comes with troubling dreams and lapses in memory. When they wake up covered in blood in the bushes outside a salon, Elliot tells them to talk to Orsinio

· Orsinio isn’t too happy to see them, but is very willing to help. He was at Avid Horizon during Nemesis and knows what it’s like to feel that pull. (He claims he no longer feels it.) Miles is briefly his student in the lab and generally is very poor at it, refusing to listen and not doing much of anything. Eventually, they leave when they realize they can’t gain anything they want here. Orsinio is irked and genuinely wanted to help, but he can’t force anyone to do anything.

· Miles’ condition continues to worsen, plagued by compulsions to eat strange things and nightmares of knives and drowning. They wonder, can you really get hurt in a dream, and can it scar in real life? They are genuinely scared, but they’ve never learned how to ask for help. They confide their worries in a letter to Elliot on a drunk evening, at their wit’s end with exhaustion.

· Their own family didn’t want them, but this voice does. They feel like it’s wrong to accept the voice, and they’ve been told not to by their friends, but if they give into it, they can finally sleep.

· No one hears from Miles for some time after this. They go off the grid with weeping scars, memories of chains, and stains on the soul. One could make the argument that Miles, the real Miles, is dead after the first time they stab themself (second weeping scar). I as the player was not invested in SMEN and therefore Miles wasn’t either; it functions primarily as a MacGuffin.

· The person who returns to society is very much not like Miles used to be. This person is even more charismatic and does much more physical contact, compelling enough to entrap people for St Arthur’s Candle. They adopt a seemingly carefree attitude, why worry when all shall be well?

· Miles becomes a silverer, inspired by interpreting their strange dreams and promised power from the fingerkings. They use these dream interpretations to amass a small cult following of fellow seekers.

Miles, you could have just Asked him to Dinner

· At a working lunch with an affectionate devil, Orsinio is told what Miles did to their soul. He rushes home to pen an urgent warning to his friends, but finds Miles inside, waiting for him in his study chair. Miles speaks highly of his work, apologizing for not appreciating it properly when they were a student. They come interested in his unpublished work. He’s one of the few who has seen the Avid Horizon. Won’t he tell them more? Orsinio firmly denies Miles, but they leave with the self-confidence this isn’t the end of it. Once they’re gone, he walks outside right back to the affectionate devil and makes a deal for his soul. If he doesn’t have it, he can’t give into temptation to seek. Orsinio has finished railway at this point and tried to convince himself he was okay, that he was past this, but he isn’t.

· Miles progresses through candles B through E without much fanfare. At the Carnival at Midnight, they claim to be seeking for love, a love they never got from their family, or a love for their enemy, the Professor.

Poor Choices are Made in HD

· The end of the Marvellous rolls around. Miles makes as many scummy decisions as possible, choosing not to help the topsy king, condemning the cardsharp monkey, though they do hesitate, just for a moment, with Beechwood’s chance. They say they’re playing the Marvellous for themself, but they know deep down they’re still having feelings about their father. This is a chance to give all of that up, make a new life for themself, heal from past trauma. But no, they came this far. They’re not giving it all up for a moment of emotional weakness.

· Miles becomes Mr Cards. Isn’t this what they wanted? The first time they meet with Mr Hearts for red science, they feel deep down they’ve made a terrible mistake. Being a Master doesn’t seem good at all. They need something else, but what is it? (Genuine connections with people?) They need to go North.

Clown on Clown Violence

· Miles comes to Orsinio yet again, asking him to join them in seeking. He’s so smart and he’s been marked by the northern wind, why won’t he? He can finally have revenge against all the Masters, against the system that enabled Cups to kill his brother. Orsinio refutes with compassion, telling Miles their sister wouldn’t want to lose them. Miles, the real Miles, almost breaks through, their sister ever a soft spot for them. They admit they’re afraid of what they’ve become and they don’t want her to see them like this. Orsinio extends another olive branch, telling Miles it isn’t too late to turn around. But Miles, as always, choses pursuit of grandeur

· By this point, Miles has become truly obsessed with this enemy they can’t break, not only with the madness that comes of seeking but with possessive behavior that comes from becoming a Master. (Or, Miles, you could have apologized for being rude and asked him to dinner) When Orsinio still won’t bite, Miles threatens to target his friends/found family instead, both Elliot and Lucy.

· What plays out is a long, regrettable, and, if we’re being honest, a bit pathetic struggle between Miles and Orsinio. Orsinio’s logic isn’t good logic, but it is logic. He thinks there’s no fate worse than going North, even death or injury, so tries poisoning Miles a few times to get them to stop one way or another. Miles isn’t offended but milks the incidents to make Orsinio appear like the villain and turn others against him. Mail fraud is a significant contributor to how things fall apart; Miles begins intercepting letters, isolating Orsinio and each of his friends from each other.

· Meanwhile, Miles is getting closer to Elliot, claiming to be their only real friend left and trying to drag them into seeking. (Elliot finishes Light Fingers and gets a child to protect so that comes to a quick end, fortunately.)

· Despite all that’s transpired, Orsinio keeps getting drawn back to Miles. He tells himself it’s determination to stop them for the greater good. What he doesn’t realize is that Miles already got inside his head with seeking which is the real reason he won’t let the topic go. There comes the darkest hour in which he nearly scars himself but is stopped by his student mentee.

I Want that Twink Obliterated

· Orsinio comes to realize he’s indulging the same reckless behavior he did during Nemesis that nearly sent him down the dark road of seeking at the time. He pens a letter to Lucy confessing all he’s kept to himself thus far. He reflects that recklessness can be a manifestation of addictive tendencies, then he remembers who he’s fighting, the Master of Gambling. He realizes how he’s been played a little bit too late.

· Orsinio is strong-minded and normally wouldn’t have fallen for such manipulations, but he’s been worn down for a long time by Miles preying on his paranoia and guilt. Nightmares 7. He goes to pursue Miles one last time to put an end to this once and for all, but walks into a set-up. Miles drags their final confrontation to Parabola where they have an advantage as a silverer. Orsinio does not win and spends some time in the Royal Beth afterward.

· Orsinio’s student manages to get word of the truth to his friends. Lucy puts Miles in their place through varying violent means and then goes to be with Orsinio. Both of them promise to each other to be better communicators. Lucretia also comes to the Neath during this time to help in the crisis, but more on her story later in her own bio.

NORTH

· Elliot learns the truth of what Miles did and feels betrayed. Miles sends a final letter. They’re not sorry for what they did, nor are they sure why they did it. Elliot was the last thing they had left to lose, and this whole chess game ensured they would lose Elliot. Now, they’re prepared to go North. First, they must go South, but they will go North.

· What Parabola and the fingerkings could offer wasn’t enough. Winning the Marvellous and getting the chance to become a Master wasn’t enough. Miles almost considered throwing their lot in with liberationists, so that after the revolution they could seize power in a vacuum, but they didn’t pursue that route. They’ll never be satisfied as long as there’s a higher station to rise to.

· Miles is unable to live with what they’ve become. They cut off their hair for St Gawain’s Candle, and when they look in the mirror, they only imagine a photograph of Julian as a younger man. They reflect on all the horrific deeds they’ve done and all the people they hurt to get where they are now, and they realize they became just like their father. Beyond the gates is a place they’ll finally be free of him. (Who is the real villain of the story? Julian Lovelace is.)

· Had they chosen any other ambition ending than power, they would not have gone North. The gravity of the decision hits them and they realize becoming Mr Cards would mean entirely losing their identity. They can’t let anyone see them like this. They don’t want this to be their eternity. They really messed up and see no way to fix it now

· Miles muses that physical monstrous changes by the red science represent internal corruption, generations of abominable deeds done to stay in power manifest in the weeping scars on their skin. They didn’t fail to live up to their family legacy, they embody it better than anyone else. “Miles, you didn’t have to do any of that!” There are so many points at which a different choice could have made the story end another way, yet the story never could have ended any other way.

· On the feast of Candlemas, 2 February, Miles goes North. At the gates, they hesitate one last time, thinking of their sister. But they can’t let her see what they’ve become. The sentiment is far too little, far too late. I interpret the knock as suicide

· At the exact same moment that Miles knocks, Orsinio obtains a discordance stone.

· Miles asked, “What is due?” I will be vague about the ending, but all I’ll say is that it was the only fitting end for the character trajectory they were on, and they got exactly what they wanted. A position above everyone else. Attention from the grandest.

The End... or Is It?

· On the seventh day of the seventh month, someone returns from the North, picked up by a ship that was in Stormbones and spotted them by lucky chance.

· Elliot reacts in disbelief and betrayal. Lucy reacts by killing Miles, repeatedly, for what they did to her loved ones.

· Orsinio remains calm, because he realizes immediately what’s afoot. For Miles to be here, Nothing had to have happened, because if they weren’t here, then something would have happened. This is Miles, and this is Not Miles. He holds his dog Sugarplum while musing on this, wondering if he should not take Miles to the Anchoress for advice. He decides against it, for the time being.

· This Miles spends some time adjusting back to life in the Neath, starting completely over again. They have lingering physical changes in sharp teeth and pointed ears, but otherwise has no connection or obligation to continue participating in the Masters’ experiments. They remain under the radar for a time to ensure it’s safe, but no one seems to even acknowledge them. They also have no marks from SMEN save one scar, the first scar, as a reminder.

· Miles finally realizes the best way to spite Julian is to cut him out of their thoughts and live the life they want. Orsinio is proud of them for character growth, but couldn’t they have realized that sooner, without seeking? Miles adopts the name Darlington instead, their mother’s maiden name.

· Orsinio is ever patient but gets tired of Miles hanging around his lab all day and tells them to get something to do. They see posters at the Department of Menace Eradication for a big hunting prize. They always enjoyed hunting trips during visits to the family’s summer home on the Surface. Why not? (We all Look Away from R playing the same ambition with multiple characters. No single timeline shall be a single timeline.) Orsinio remains exasperated.

Bag a Legend 2 Electric Boogaloo

· “Veils got Miles in the divorce with Eaten”

· While my OC Samuel represented the taciturn and violent side of Veils, Miles is the charmer and manipulator. Despite getting a second chance, they very much are still a villain, though at least they’re less unhinged this time. Miles becomes a Midnighter. They don’t know why they have a sudden interest in the Great Game, but they find they’re a natural at it. Miles, whether they’re conscious of it or not, plays White.

· I’m in the middle of BAL now, but Miles will choose the Surface Veils ending. I imagine Veils can shift appearance easily, given that it’s a manifestation of intrigue and disguise; when they first encounter Surface Veils, it appears like Julian. Miles is disarmed, but has grown much more confident, and is able to keep control of the situation. As the game goes on, Surface Veils shifts to look more how I imagine it. When they come to an impasse, a hand is outstretched, and negotiations for a deal can begin. Allying with Veils is the perfect way to spite their father the textile magnate

All My Homies Hate the White

· Orsinio, who already was suspicious of the circumstances of Miles’ return, grows even more concerned watching them develop an interest in chess which was previously nonexistent. He knows of the higher powers of the chessboard from his studies at the Adulterine Castle, and he knows something of the nature of the Old Man and the White from his experience in the game (several ES). Orsinio knows enough to understand they send agents to the Neath, and he begins to wonder if this is why “Miles” is here.

· Orsinio is doing a lot mentally better, but still struggles with paranoia. What if his whole life, he’s been a pawn? What if his brother was murdered not only as part of Mr Cups’ scheming, but to get Orsinio to go to the Neath, where he’d eventually go West and study what isn’t at the Hurlers, so he’d have the wherewithal to later lead an agent of the White directly to the court of the Black?

· The story ends here, for now. I’m excited to do railway with Miles and read text for evil choices that I can’t make with other characters for RP reasons. Playing a villain is a lot of fun. We’ll see how things play out, or do not play out.

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terry-perry · 2 years

Note

If you’re still taking joker requests, can you write a little something about how Arthur would react to his partner being threatened? Maybe someone is being verbally abusive towards his partner or maybe they’re a kidnapper trying to random with him?

P.S. You excited for Ms. Marvel?

Yeah, I'm always excited for any projects the MCU has to offer! I don't know much about Ms. Marvel, but I also didn't know anything about Moon Knight. And I ended up loving the hell out of that show. So let's see how things go with this one.

Also, TW: Mentions of assault and violent behavior as a reaction to the situation

You always these work events. They were nothing more than forced ways to get people to talk to each other. It hadn't been so bad this time. A few of your favorite coworkers were there as well as your boyfriend who practically begged to come.

He was so cute with how nervous he was meeting your work friends. He was even more of a wreck when it came to you introducing him to your boss. He really wanted to make a good impression. Because as much you disliked work parties, your job still meant the world to you. He didn't want to risk making a fool of himself and it extending to who you were as an employee.

Everyone seemed to like him, thankfully, and it was enough to make the rest of the evening bearable.

It was when you were about to leave when things took a turn.

You were already out of the building with Arthur and hailing a cab. That was when you realized you left your coat inside. You told Arthur and the cab driver to please wait so you could go up and get it.

What could've happened if you had just waited until Monday?

Your coworker, Todd, was one of the main reasons you hated going to these functions. On the clock, he was on mostly good behavior. Stuff like this though is what had him push boundaries. But you never thought he'd take things this far.

You figured it was the alcohol that fueled him to follow you into your office, the bastard. All you wanted was to get away and wash off what happened.

Right away, Arthur noticed your state and began to worry. You couldn't really hide what happened. You were in such a rush to leave that you didn't have time to fix yourself up. Your makeup was smeared from your tears and Todd's sloppy attempts to kiss you, your hair was practically undone from trying to fight him off, and the side of your face grew red from his hard slap.

It was enough to make Arthur panic.

"Oh my god, Y/N! What happened?!"

He gently took your face to take a better look at your state. You burst into tears once more as you shook your head. You just wanted to go home.

He pulled you into his arms as you sobbed. "Come on, sweetheart," he mumbled, kissing the top of your head.

He took off his jacket and draped it over your trembling form before leading you into the cab.

----

You didn't tell him about what happened until you got home. You'd never seen him so mad. The silent rage he possessed was almost frightening. His face was contorted in anger, but he calmed down when he saw your poor state again. You clung onto him like you needed him to stay.

You did.

This was becoming too overwhelming for you, and you just didn't know how to handle it on your own.

So he stayed with you that night. He helped you into the bath to help clean you and calm your nerves. Although he'd normally join you, you were very out of it and he didn't want to set anything off. You wanted him with you in bed though so he could hold you. He gladly obliged, and you passed out in an instant.

Arthur, on the other hand, couldn't stop picturing the shattered look you had and the jackass who was the reason for it. He felt helpless and like he needed to do something.

Society gave up on him a long time ago, but there was no way he was letting this garbage city turn its back on you. You were his light that never needed to dim. Any risk of that happening must be put to a stop.

And that's why he needed to make Todd pay.

----

Arthur remembered your journey to work from all the times he'd take you. On this particular day, he was waiting outside for the perfect time. You'd definitely be worried, seeing as he left before you woke up, but this needed to be done.

Arthur's eyes followed Todd exiting out of the building. With his hood up, he trailed him as he went to his car. The sun was beginning to set, with only a few other left in the nearby lot. In the state Arthur was in, he didn't care about witnesses.

He wanted blood. He went crazy the minute he saw the guy. He was ready to shoot him and worry about everything else later. But the minute your broken, angelic flashed into his mind again, he knew he needed to make Todd suffer as well as give him a message.

He walked over to him, barking out his name. He noticed the way he flinched but then looked smug realizing it was Arthur. He didn't see him as much of a threat, no doubt. Good. Let him be caught off guard.

The minute he was at reach, Arthur grabbed him by his hair and used all the adrenaline he had to smack him across the face with the end of his gun. Todd was a bloody pulp soon enough, with the others having already left out of fear for their own skins. Just like a citizen of Gotham to only worry about themselves.

Todd's cries were gurgling babbles as he became a heap on the ground. But Arthur wasn't done. He shoved the gun between his bloody, swelling lips. He wasn't planning on actually pulling the trigger, he just needed him to be scared for his life as he said what he did:

"Touch her again, and I'll be sure to kill you next time,"

#arthur fleck imagine #x reader #request #imagine #oneshot #drabble #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #joker x reader #joker arthur fleck #joker 2019 #joker #tw: violence #tw: assault

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wisteriavines · 1 year

Text

Discontinued Writing (Change Starts With One)

part [1] 2

original prompt

July 15th — the day Midoriya Izuku was born in one world, and the day Dahlia Jones died in another.

[ ]

Izuku was only a year old when he awoke with clarity and understanding. He wasn’t Dahlia Jones anymore, she died. He is Midoriya Izuku now, a baby boy.

He didn’t quite break down, not so much in the sense of tears and snot, but more in the sense of staring blankly at the wall in front of him as his brain malfunctioned in an effort to process the sudden knowledge.

Dahlia never really cared about gender or pronouns, she shrugged when people misgendered her due to her clothing or hairstyle. It wasn’t a problem. But she distinctly saw herself as female. Grew up female with all that the birth-gender entails. Puberty was a bitch but it was her bitch.

Izuku..for all that he was Dahlia Jones and she is now him, female pronouns don't quite fit anymore with him. Male pronouns were and still are a work in progress but he doesn’t feel...wrong or uncomfortable when they’re used, just confused and frustrated. Because for all that he is male, he knows what it means to be female.

Dahlia’s life is a building block, the base so to say, of his own person. She was a quiet, easily annoyed, kind, take-no-bullshit, smart woman. She graduated college, became a librarian to live as simple and easy as she could while still indulging the part of her that genuinely liked children.

Izuku in turn is a quiet, kind, and smart child. He loves to read and listen to stories of all kinds. He can’t stand any form of bullying, would step up and defend those that can’t or are too afraid and unwilling. Even when he became the target instead and no one helped him. Dahlia blamed children’s bad behavior and attitude on the adults and environment. Izuku does too because he can see it happening.

A quirkless child doesn’t know what they’re saying, right?

When he first heard and saw quirks, Izuku was entranced. Dahlia’s world, life, never had anything like it except in comics and movies. He wanted to study them, figure out everything they could do. He was so excited at the prospect of getting a superpower of his own.

Izuku laughs at the irony now.

He has a lifetime’s knowledge of being quirkless, knows exactly what he is capable of because he knows a world that was filled with quirkless people and oh, what amazing feats they achieved. He is quirkless but so was everyone else when rocket science was achieved and space travel was accomplished.

It disgusts him how far discrimination has come.

A child with the ability to change hair colors is suddenly more capable than him when just last week she only ever had blonde hair. What good will pink, blue, purple hair be when they’re in the park playing tag against children with more destructive and physical quirks? Why is a weak and surface-level useless quirk held at a higher standard than he? Why must society turn against him, the very definition of their ancestors? Why - when - how are quirks the equalizer of someone’s worth?

No one had an answer beyond detention for causing and being a “distraction”.

Dahlia disliked school but Izuku loathes it. Teachers turning away from obvious bullying. Students becoming bystanders and encouraging the bullies. Bullies growing bolder and worse at the praise and lack of being told “no”.

Case in point: Bakugou Katsuki.

With his mother being best friends with the blonde’s mother, Izuku has known Bakugou since he was in diapers (an experience he very much wishes to bleach from his memories). He grew up with Bakugou, became accustomed to his vulgar language and harsh attitude. And has watched the system fail him.

The moment Bakugou got his quirk was the moment things took a turn for the worst. Purposely set off explosions written off as lack of control. Attitude problems waved off as part of his quirk. Praised for his quirk. Expectations and pressure placed on his small shoulders because of his quirk. His quirk - his quirk - his quirk. Never him. Never Katsuki. Always his quirk.

Izuku does not fault the boy for slapping his hand away that day in the forest. Does not fault him for his harsh words and heat coated hands. The fault is the system which has failed a child and likely many others too.

Dahlia was born an American and was raised to judge and question the system, to fight the system and for what is right. Izuku isn’t an American but shares the sentiment since all it seems the USA is popular for are its protests. The need to speak and stand up, to fight for what he believes in. It helps that his father is in America and calls in every Friday, it makes him feel closer to who Dahlia was as a person.

Midoriya Izuku is seven-years-old, Quirkless in a world of superpowers, feeling older than he really is, and exhausted at the utter failure society has seemed to become.

Laws have been made and passed. Laws that no one actually upholds. So called “heroes” causing more damage than good. So called “villains” having been pushed down too many times and simply accepting their place in the world. Life isn’t black and white, heroes and villains. Life isn’t fair, never has been and never will be.

But it can be better.

[ ]

July 15th — the day where everything and nothing changed.

#wisteriavines #change starts with one au #cswo au #discontinued writing #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #quirkless midoriya izuku #reincarnation #I actually was raised to question the system #my family had a lot of things to say about it #so did my teachers once I was in middle and high school #so while stereotypical #it’s not really a lie #also this has been in my drafts for a long time #could be better but meh #mha #bnha

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dreamwritesimagines · 2 years

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‘His one and only love’ i’m going to go cry in a corner now thanks. their love story is so beautiful yet so tragic and it’s breaking my heaaaaaart. or could it be bc it ended in tragedy which is why we can appreciate the beauty of it more?? idk i’m babbling but i just, Cassie & Percy’s relationship has been looming over us since chapter 1 and it’s like, the more we know about it the more beautiful they seemed to be together and how in love they truly were before tragedy struck and it’s just, so heartbreaking bc they’re ending is so so definite bc Cassie is no longer in the picture anymore and just. ugh…..Pain™️

‘Probably Lavinia.’yeah bc your daughter who has never met your sister or interacted with her until this wedding……sure, she definitely got her restlessness from her aunt sksksks. i feel like Percy was restless when he was younger, but just…had to “grow up” bc of his shitty parents or was “disciplined” to behave and “act like a future duke” so he thinks Cherie got it from someone else bc he doesn’t remember being that restless bc it’s like, he was forcing himself not to be or had to be “corrected” (i hate that word so much but it happens a lot with kids) when he would fidget or bounce around. so when he grew up, he lost that energetic side. could be selective memory bc of trauma or strict parents? i mean i’m not an expert so who knows. i mean it works with Cassie too but at least she was energetic to people she cared about. Percy seems so closed off and calm towards everyone even his children, and i feel like his upbringing has something to do with that. especially in a society where men being vulnerable is so looked down upon. what more to a future duke?

okay, i just––PERCY REMINISCING ABOUT BABY ELIAS AND HOW CHERIE IS THE SAME ABOUT SEEKING APPROVAL FROM THEIR PARENTS WHEN THEY’VE DONE SOMETHING GOOD AND JUST WANT THAT STICKER OR THE GOLD STAR. stop that was so…it just solidified how both of them are their parents’ children in anyway shape or form. but it hurts knowing how Percy never got to see baby Cherie do that or Cassie see baby Elias do that WHOEVER STARTED THAT RUMOR NEEDS TO GET TOSSED IN THE THAMES AND GET EATEN BY THE FISH THERE. anyways i’m just so sad that we never got to see them be a happy and complete family and it so painful to think that we neverwill bc everything is already too late and i’m just……Pain 2.0™️

hmm, i wonder what prompted Cherie not to tell the duke about Anthony’s proposal. could it be she senses how much he dislikes him and just doesn’t want to cause trouble? or she doesn’t want him to know howit happened a.k.a. in The Maze™️ Under The Rain™️ At Night™️ Unchaperoned™️ a.k.a. the perfect recipe to warrant a duel for both Percy AND Elias?? but she can leave the detail out tho. soooooo could it be a sense of trying to protect Anthony in a way bc she’s seeing how he’s changing for the better?? or it can be an unconscious thing that she doesn’t want Percy to think awful of him bc she cares about Anthony and she loves him?? all these questions i swear sksksks

“I mean I still know her better,” i still don’t quite agree with this tbh bc hmm, my point the other time still stands but another argument is that, you know how we act different towards our parents compared to our friends and how different we too act with our partners and vice versa to all? i mean it’s different for everyone of course and it depends how close you are with your parents but i feel like that’s a factor here. in Cassie’s case, she would act different to her lover/husband compared to how she would to her daughter in a way. with Percy, she can be more open, share her deepest and darkest thoughts/moments and how she perceives the world without filter or whatnot, problems, grievances, childhood trauma, etc. whereas with Cherie, she would hold back on those things to protect her in a way bc her daughter doesn’t need to know about those things. especially when she wanted Cherie to live a happy blissful life and make that possible as much as she could, and well, Cherie being so in love with love proves that. so Cassie wouldn’t complain to Cherie about things or dump her problems/trauma on her compared to with Percy. and i feel like you can truly know a person with how they deal with those things or what they’re thoughts are with deeper or darker conversations. like i said before, they both knew Cassie in different moments in time, not to mention, different version too, but that doesn’t mean one knows her better than the other.

my man has been hurting for 20+ years and he will continue to for the rest of his days. i feel like if he gets close to Cherie it will compensate some of that pain but still, it’s never quite the same. bc he might have gotten back his daughter again, but he still lost the love of his life……ugh Pain 3.0™️

“I was not wrong in telling you not to make my decisions for me, and I’m still behind it,” this i wholeheartedly agree with. she should be the one making decision for herself all throughout. bc it is her life and she should live it how she should.

omg…..the simple fact that neither him nor Cassie ever apologised whenever an argument would arise and they just move on without talking it out??? yeah….it was was bound to blow up at some point. they probably thought if they just…..forgot about it, it would just disappear. but the thing with that is, it never does. it just sits in the back of their heads and when another argument will arise, it will resurface thus building up that anger so with every argument it would just become bigger bc it just keeps piling and piling and sigh. i feel like when that rumor mill hit, the jar was close to full already and for something that big to happen, it’s not surprising for that jar to actually break. like it didn’t spill over, it genuinely exploded. i guess that’s another difference between Cassie & Percy and Anthony & Cherie and why the latter is turning out better bc, well, at least the younger couple are open to apologizing and being better and righting wrongs. they still need to work on the Communication Department™️ but they’re getting there.

hi yes hello, idk if i’m just extra emotional today but that scene of them under thee stars…my heart is ACHING™️ BREAKING ™️ HURTING™️ i just……and she was pregnant with baby Elias as well :((((( “And about the argument earlier—” // “Let’s not.” I JUST NOOOO. TALK. COMMUNICATION™️ !!! sigh. they’re being so cute and sweet tho and i can’t deal with this bc it’s in Italics™️ which solidifies that it’s the past and cannot happen again in the futureeeee AH PAIN 4.0™️ !!!!!

“They will be themselves without anyone sabotaging it, without anyone forcing them to grow an armor just to keep their hearts safe. They will be just…free.”and this is why Elias and Cherie share similarities with their parents, but never quite the same. just like how Anthony pointed out last chapter and how Percy is realising this now. but pls, them slightly joking around now makes my heart melt. i feel like they would get along so so so well and would have the sweetest bond and ugh. slow and steady. HELP PERCY FORGETTING HIS SISTER IS COMING TO LONDON WITH THEM SKSKSKSK it’s like he’s actively trying to ignore his big sister bc he knows she will just intentionally (affectionately) annoy him. he’s such a little brother omg.

“No,” she said. “No one at all.” she said, you know, like liar sksksks. “Especially not Lord Bridgerton.” …….Sure, Jan 2.0™️ let’s see how that goes now that we’re going back to London. but omg, i feel like the first day back in London will be absolute chaos as Percy so begrudgingly pointed out. i am hoping Anthony has learned his lesson of Self Control™️ quite well now and can like….be calm (i doubt it) and chill (i highly doubt it) when he’s around Cherie. bc i’m honestly so worried bc Cece won’t be there for a week to supervised sksksksk (tbh i was hoping for their honeymoon to be longer bc it’s what Celias deserves after dealing with this Shit Show™️ for five weeks and they need that break to rejuvenate and recharge before going back to deal with the Shit Show™️ again sksksks) but lord, idk if this Obsessed Harlot™️ can control himself for that long especially with all the suitors oh my goooooood the Jealousy, Jealousy™️ aaaah STAY STRONG ANTHONY FT. LAST REMAINING BRAINCELL FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY. KEEP THAT KNEE TIGHT AND DON’T BEND IT YET PUHLEASE

oh god this turned out longer than i expected. this was such a lovely yet heartbreaking extra scene but i loved it omg. i reallly enjoyed getting to see Percival’s perspective on things. he’s so complex and it just makes me more curios as to what happened between him and Cassie aah can’t wait for more!! amazing as always and i hope you’re having a lovely day!!

– TM Anon™️

Omg darliiiing hi! ❤❤

Yessss exactly! ❤ Their love story ended in tragedy and I think they burned very bright when they were together, they had so much passion and that was kind of their downfall💔

I think up until her death, Percy still thought someday somehow they would be together 💔

Oooh that’s a wonderful idea! 😱 Percy’s father was terrible, so he would probably not let him fidget or run around 💔

i mean it works with Cassie too but at least she was energetic to people she cared about. Percy seems so closed off and calm towards everyone even his children, and i feel like his upbringing has something to do with that. Absolutely! ❤ Both Cassie and Percy had different upbringings but their parents were horrible, and Percy was probably forced to always hide his feelings around people ❤

Elias and Cherie are so similar on some things, and seeking approval is one of them! ❤ I think Cassie saw it up to a point with Elias but Percy didn’t see it with Cherie up until now 💔

Anthony’s business proposal 😂

could it be a sense of trying to protect Anthony in a way bc she’s seeing how he’s changing for the better?? or it can be an unconscious thing that she doesn’t want Percy to think awful of him bc she cares about Anthony and she loves him??

I think it’s both! ❤ She doesn’t do it intentionally, but she still wants Percy to like Anthony or at least approve of him, and she can see how Anthony is changing for the better, and she is still very much in love with him❤

with Percy, she can be more open, share her deepest and darkest thoughts/moments and how she perceives the world without filter or whatnot, problems, grievances, childhood trauma, etc. whereas with Cherie, she would hold back on those things to protect her in a way bc her daughter doesn’t need to know about those things. especially when she wanted Cherie to live a happy blissful life and make that possible as much as she could, and well, Cherie being so in love with love proves that. DEFINITELY! 😱😍

Cassie made sure Cherie would never feel like her opinions didn’t matter, she made sure she never knew pain back in Paris❤ Cherie doesn’t know about Cassie’s time in London while Percy has no idea about Cassie’s time in Paris 💔

I don’t think Percy can ever be completely happy without Cassie to be honest 💔

i guess that’s another difference between Cassie & Percy and Anthony & Cherie and why the latter is turning out better bc, well, at least the younger couple are open to apologizing and being better and righting wrongs. they still need to work on the Communication Department™ but they’re getting there.

THIS! THIS!

I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ABOUT THIS YES! 😱😍❤

So Cassie&Percy and Anthony&Cherie have a lot of parallels but just like you said, the latter is turning out better because of this! ❤ Both Cassie and Percy refused to apologize or talk about what was wrong, or what hurt them, because they were both raised to hide their hurt but Anthony and Cherie? Cherie is always very, very verbal about what hurts her, she actually says that to Anthony, and she never tried to hide what she felt, good or bad ❤ And Anthony is apologizing, he is trying to talk about what’s wrong, and from the beginning he was giving her explanations for what happened back at the opera, he is trying to build the bridges instead of acting like everything is alright ❤ Especially now, he’s following her lead while making sure things between them are getting better, that they can have an open communication for when she’s ready to talk about what happened with the proposal and everything else ❤

Percy and Cassie had terrible communication skills for sure 💔 That was one of the biggest problems they had 💔

this is why Elias and Cherie share similarities with their parents, but never quite the same. just like how Anthony pointed out last chapter and how Percy is realising this now.

Yesssss! Second generation has a lot of parallels to the first generation but they’re also learning how to fix their mistakes ❤

i am hoping Anthony has learned his lesson of Self Control™ quite well now and can like....be calm (i doubt it) and chill (i highly doubt it) when he's around Cherie This is hilarious omg 😂

Obsessed Harlot™ I AM SCREAMING-

Darling, I can’t thank you enough for this, you’re absolutely amazing! ❤❤ You’ve made my day, ILYSM! ❤❤❤

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linkspooky · 3 years

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Yuji, Alone.

I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support.

Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut.

1. Yuji and Geto

If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.”

Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all.

Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people.

This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?

Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously.

To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society.

Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.

Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap.

Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences.

To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid.

Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested.

Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only.

However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo.

Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other.

"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.

Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)

All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?

Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things. Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with.

Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them.

Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.

Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else.

2. Avoidant Attachment

This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother.

Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years.

Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one.

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help.

Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped.

During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people.

And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own.

It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo.

I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.

It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others.

I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.

Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird. I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.

At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional.

Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions.

Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him.

Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone.

#yuji itadori #megumi fushigoro #kugisaki nobara #suguru geto #choso #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #jjk 138 #jujutsu kaisen 138 #jujutsu kaisen

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allmightluver · 3 years

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**bnha spoilers** I'm just sat here with renewed realisation of what All Might is going through. 40 years. /40 years/ he held and refined that power and dedicated his every waking (and sleeping if Vigilantes is anything to go by) moment towards the goal of defeating AfO and creating a society in which people could feel happy and safe. And now as it turns out AfO is still alive, society is broken and he has given a literal piece of his soul to this young boy leaving himself with only phantoms

Yes. I don’t think people quite grasp what all he’s going through.

It’s been shown recently to us that some, if not most, heroes have underlying ambitions in becoming a hero. Whether for money, glory, fame, popularity, doesn’t matter. They’re ultimately in it for themselves. Toshinori’s intentions from the beginning have been the most pure- he wanted to be a symbol that people can look to and know things will be ok. A symbol of hope. This boy was only around 14 years old when he decided this. What kind of 14 year old sees the world that clearly? Sees that people have no hope, that a veil of darkness covers them. The only thing I can think of is- Toshinori did not have a good childhood. Something had to have happened to a boy that young to stop seeing the joy in life so early, and see the world’s flaws. Truthfully, I believe he was an outcast- due to his quirklessness. Most likely an orphan, perhaps abandoned by his parents, as we’ve never seen him have any family. I do truly believe Toshinori has been alone all his life. I don’t doubt more could have happened to him as a child before he met Nana.

Some may argue that Izuku is the same age, and therefore it shouldn’t be that hard to see why Toshinori wanted to be a hero at such a young age. BUT, Izuku had someone to look up to, ever since he was a child of four years old, to inspire him to be a hero his whole life *cough cough* All Might. Izuku also was quirkless, much like Toshinori, and an outcast because of it (hence where I assume Toshinori was much the same). But ultimately, Izuku wanted to save people because he saw his hero do it. It really wasn’t until Izuku was a bit older, has been in UA, has been on rescue missions, has seen what the heroes see, that I think he’s truly realized how dark the world really is. Toshinori didn’t have that. He didn’t have someone to inspire him as a child, someone to look up to, a hero to inspire him to help others. At that time, heroes hadn’t become as popular as they are in present times. Toshinori saw the world for what it was, on his own, at a tender age. I think that day Nana ran into this blonde hair kid, she eyed him up, noticed his scraggly form, looked into those captivating blue eyes, and saw a man who’s lived through the world’s horrors- experienced the worst it has to offer-, and wants to save everyone he can from the same fate, all in a 14 year old boy.

Then after only a few short years with the woman he saw as his mother, she’s killed in front of him because of his own weakness- he wasn’t strong enough yet to protect her. The only other person his life, Gran Torino, literally abused him. He beat him to a pulp, taking his own emotions out on a teenager, and I doubt Toshinori said anything of it. He probably thought he deserved it. He’s still afraid of Gran Torino to this day, remembering the beatings and expecting more for his failures- even if he doesn’t know what they are surely he’s at fault for something, but he’s the only person who’s stood by his side for this long. Even while at a distance, and spouting nothing but criticisms along the way. But Toshinori had to put aside his own emotions to be that hope for everyone. He left everything he knew to go to a new country on his own, to learn how to be a hero, to be that hope for someone.

Vigilantes showed us just how hard he worked. Toshinori literally stayed awake with no sleep for days on end- 3 in the chapter I’m referencing- because people needed help, people needed saving, and no one else stepped up. He fought villains, rescued civilians, repaired damage, cleared rubble, (even accept and eat food that was against his dietary restrictions after his injury) whatever the public needed, all while draining himself further. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion because he had no help, once literally falling asleep while mid-leap across the city because he simply could go no further.

^^These happen in succession of each other^^

No one stepped up to say “Hey, Mr. Number 1, you’ve been working hard lately. Let me help you!” No one tried to take over his position. Even the Number 2 hero, Endeavor, never tried to take some of his burden. His only goal was to try to be better than All Might in terms of power- he was never trying to be the hero that the people relied on All Might for. Everyone relied on him when things looked grim. He was the back up plan. And all of this happened before Toshinori’s injury.

The only thing he ever wanted to do- help people- he can’t do (at least the way he’s always known how to). The ability to save people has been taken from him in the most gruesome way. He was finally able to fight the man that killed Nana, and in a rage that I’m sure echoed with all of the emotions of the previous users, he smashed that man’s head like a grape. But not without consequence. Several organs are gone. The pain is excruciating. He wears that man’s mark on his body for the rest of his life, never truly able to rid himself of the filth.

Then we have Nighteye’s betrayal. The man that helped him as a sidekick, the man that grew to be his only friend. Now some people may ask why Toshinori flipped like he did to Nighteye looking into his future when he was concerned about him making it through his injury. What I believe is Toshinori didn’t want to know when he would die (and really, who does). Now he knows he’s on a time limit, knows the clock is ticking. Time is running out to keep the world at peace, and with him as he is now, how long can this go on?

I think the betrayal, doing something that Toshinori specifically asked him not to do, is what hurt the most. How can he trust Nighteye anymore? He already can only count on one hand the people he can trust, let alone befriend.

He’s wasted away into a skeleton, a shell of the man he used to be. He can’t over exert himself without his only lung bleeding in protest. It’s canon in the side books that he really doesn’t eat much, which isn’t good for his diet without a stomach now (he’s supposed to have several small meals a day). He is quite literally punishing himself by starving. (Granted, he doesn’t feel hunger anymore.) He’s a sick man, beyond medical help at this point. They can only stabilize him and hope for the best. For five years now he’s in constant pain, every day. He loses blood like sweat. Surely his veins are bruised and collapsed with how many times he would have needed to be hospitalized. Whether from losing too much blood, being too dehydrated or starved from “forgetting” to eat, or an organ failing as body continues to fall apart. “...even as my body rots and grows frail...” - Toshinori People are bound to stare at him as he walks down the street. A tall, willowy, skeleton with a grimace on his face and blood stains on his clothes as he coughs up more into his own hands. There would be the ones who outright ignore him when they walk by, the people who offer pitying smiles and sympathetic glances or just outright stare, and then ones who are afraid of his appearance- children screaming at the mere sight of him and running to their parents to hide from the monster. Each one is another knife in Toshinori’s side, an ache in his chest. If only they knew who I really am.

Losing Nighteye took a toll on his hero work as well. Mirai was a huge help in the past, and took care of all Toshinori’s paperwork, while also reminding him to take care of himself. Without him, Toshinori was even more buried beneath his responsibilities. Plus, now he was on a time limit. He even snapped briefly in his first meeting with Tsukauchi, accidentally revealing himself as All Might because he was under too much pressure, and telling the detective he literally couldn’t handle doing everything by himself (who graciously took over the paperwork side of things for him).

He was living a double life now, having to lie to people left and right about who he was while in his small form, about how he became so sickly, why he was here in the first place who the heck is this skinny old guy. Surely he had multiple visits to the doctor while continuing to repair the damage done by AFO (there’s a limit to how much the body can handle at once. And things I’m sure continued to fail as time went on). Then he would be bedridden for as long as the doctors could keep him strapped to a bed, until he couldn’t take the people’s cries for help any longer, and would jump into action. (It’s also revealed he has something of a super hearing- able to hear danger- which may have been a form of danger sense of OFA that was never fully unlocked?. Either way, he surly could sense disasters happening while he could only lay and heal from his latest surgery. Those poor doctors must have had to re-stitch him several times). People blame him for not preparing society for his retirement, that he failed in passing on the torch so to speak, but in reality he did everything possible to keep society from falling for 40 years, doing all within his power just to keep things afloat. He is only one person. One human being, he can’t do everything despite trying to. Society failed All Might.

People blame him for not being a good teacher. He didn’t exactly have the greatest teacher himself to learn from. He’s never had to teach anyone anything, he just punches! He’s learning. And for his own credit, he’s an incredibly wise man, he has years of experience under his belt, and an intelligence score of 6/6, scoring up there with Nezu! He may not always have the right way to bring something up, but he’s doing his best. Yet even he blames himself for Izuku not being able to control his quirk better. Every time the boy hurts himself, it’s just another tally on the chalkboard of Toshinori’s failures. He himself knows the boy deserves better, better than him. Useless. Pathetic.

Then his friend from America, Dave, essentially became a villain trying to preserve Toshinori’s legacy after Toshinori told him about his injury. Dave went behind his back, threatened people, injured people (pretty sure people died), all for Toshinori’s sake. Something he didn’t want to begin with. Having to put your only other friend in jail for trying to help you surely couldn’t have been easy.

Oh, by the way? All For One isn’t dead. All Might will fight him again, publicly, have his weakened form exposed to the world, and have his own emotions toyed with as he finds out about his master’s grandson in the villain’s hands. Would Nana hate him for leaving her son alone like she’d asked, and dooming her grandchild to be raised by the greatest villain? Could he have done anything to save him? But Toshinori isn’t allowed to feel, he has to smile and push his own feelings aside once again, because there’s a villain to be fought, and only he can fight him. Despite coming out on top, he’ll have suffered severe head trauma, broken left arm, destroyed right arm, and several cuts and bruises that are sure to scar. And then, his quirk, the only thing that’s been allowing him to help people, the gift given to him that he carefully held for 40 years and molded into his own until his very consciousness was permanently carved into it, blows out like a match in the wind. And he’s done. Used up. Empty. Broken. Hollow. Alone, again.

He overhears his student, Bakugo, admit that he blames himself for All Might’s retirement. If he hadn’t been captured, All Might wouldn’t have had to save him, and he wouldn’t have had to fight AFO. Of course Toshinori knows that’s not true, his time was about to run out anyway. It would have happened one way or another. But how can he explain to this child that he wasn’t the cause of his hero, the world’s greatest hero, fighting for his sake, bleeding for his sake, being forced into retirement to keep him safe. Every time Bakugo sees the bandages covering Toshinori’s body is another reminder of the pain and sacrifice Toshinori willingly gave to keep him safe. Toshinori wasn’t held when his mentor died. He wasn’t told it was ok to be sad, that grief and mourning was a natural process, that it takes time to heal. He wasn’t told it was ok to cry. Instead his feelings were beaten out of him as he wondered if Gran Torino blamed him for Nana’s death. He already blamed himself How then, does he comfort a child mourning for him? For what he lost.

And then he gets the call to come to the hospital. Mirai, Nighteye, his old sidekick friend, has been gravely injured, much like he himself was only a few years ago, and most likely won’t survive the night. And to his horror, Nighteye is happy to see him, smiles at him, says he doesn’t hate him for what happened, only wants Toshinori to be happy. He can’t accept that, at least let him apologize, reconcile his sins before it’s too late! But it is. Another fractured piece of his heart gone.

Of course, seeing your students beat up and their arms completely destroyed must have hurt. Instead of being able to save these kids, they’re the ones that hurt themselves to save everyone else. And if Bakugo had kept OFA, things could have been very different (especially with what we know now of OFA and people with quirks). Toshinori wasn’t mad at Izuku for transferring it away, he’d never regret choosing Izuku, and I believe he still would have stayed by Izuku and Bakugo’s side should it have stayed in Bakugo, doing whatever he could to help.

As he tells Aizawa, “I’ve decided to live,” -that statement seems so melancholy, besides obvious reasons. It sounds more like another task he has to accomplish. He didn’t die he was supposed to die with the AFO fight, and now the whole life he lived is over. The world has no use for him anymore. If not for Izuku, he’d have nothing left keeping him here. But because his boy made him promise to live, he’ll do so. Though it almost seems like he says those words with regret. “I’ve decided to live.” Not, “I’m going to live!” “Nothing can kill me!” “I won’t go down without a fight!” No. “I’ll live if I have to, only because you asked me to.” The man is obviously and outwardly depressed. He has so many things against him. No doubt has severe PTSD, anxiety, among others. Not to mention his own physical health. Every day hurts. It’s painful to be alive. Why would he torture himself if he doesn’t have to? For you, my boy. You’re the only thing keeping me here. The only light in my dark world.

He tries to help Izuku find out the previous holder’s quirks, to help his boy in any way he can now that he’s worthless, and goes days on end without sleep, running his body into the ground. He even forgets Christmas. Only to find that by giving the boy the same gift he had received, he may have just doomed him to an early death, among psychological torture (danger detection). (Granted, he really doesn’t know how everything works, and he’s afraid to talk to anyone about it). His boy could live only half a life.

It’s only been a few months since he retired, and society has fallen into shambles. People are blaming him. People are dying. He watches helplessly as his colleague fight his fight for him, and end up battered, bruised, crippled, dead. He students, his boy, battle the monster he should have killed. Children are bleeding. This shouldn’t happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Is everything he worked for, everything he fought to protect, to build up, to inspire, is all for naught?! Did he live a foolish dream and doom the world? Was all the the friends he lost, tears he shed, the organs he destroyed, the pain he endures on a daily basis from the hole in his side, and the blood he continues to bleed every day, for nothing? The public, the ones he protected for so long, mourn his absence, but surely there are those among them who also blame him. The statue from his last fight in Kamino one that he never asked for was decimated in a mock of his catch phrase- the one that was supposed to give hope.

Now he can feel his own vestige speaking with Izuku in the OFA realm, even with out OFA in his own body anymore. His clock as nearly reached it’s limit, Nighteye’s prediction is due any day now. The only thing he wants is to see his boy smile at him, to give him some shred of hope. Yet the child remains unconscious, and Toshinori can’t even hold his hand from the bandages covering his arms. Will he still be able to fight? Is there any coming back from this now? Did I break him?

With all Toshinori has been through, I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen him just outright break down. Anyone, anyone, else should have crumbled under the pressure of holding up the world for 40 years alone. And instead of being able to pass it on to someone when he can no longer bear its weight, it simply falls to into the abyss. People don’t credit All Might enough for everything he’s done. Most don’t realize the sacrifices he’s made. His character is so unbelievably profound and deep, it’s more than just the “I am here!” people focus on. He’s a deeply troubled, layered, complex character. And I can’t find fault within him.

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guaxinimraccoon · 3 years

Text

jesus christ why-

oh mY DEAR GOD-

FIRST OF ALL I'm SO sorry for taking so damn long to answer those, I've been really really busy and I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best to answer everybody ; o ;

BUT FINALLY let's talk about our big last Euphoria reveal (about four months ago but ok-), where I showed you guys that Alex is Brad's father and Elisa is Toby's mom.

"BUT GUAX WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? HOW?? WHEN??? WHERE??"

SHUSH , CALM YOUR TITS DOWN and let me explain:

Ok, so I'll be putting some links here and there because yes, Alex and Elisa's story is very, VERY connected to Brad and Toby's.

And get ready for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. You were warned.

As you all already know, Alex and Elisa had a troublesome meeting, but eventually got closer to each other, they fell in love yadda yadda yadda BUT their will to get closer to each other, in other words, their relationship brought HUGE consequences.

Yes, they did manage to build a healthy relationship, they were happy, they were fine.

But they were also adults, adults that wanted something serious and concrete, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives as forbbiden lovers.

So Elisa did something literally illegal. She did a potion that was forbidden by the Colony authorities - a shrunken potion - to get closer to Alex.

Those potions were never developed, they're rustic and really antique, so they could do more harm than good or not work at all.

But Alex didn't care, he took the risk and drank the potion to get closer to his girl, the woman that was the love of his life.

The effect of the potion is temporary, so Alex would drink them from time to time whenever he had the opportunity to visit the Colony, spend some time with Elisa and, of course, be a part of her life.

He wasn't just trying to "be like her", he was also trying to be a part of her home. He made friends with her friends, he met her family, he met new imps, new fairies, all of it under his "imp disguise". He even fought for the Colony at it's war times (that is lasting till the current story time). He EVEN presented himself with a more “impish name” - Turk - to make sure people wouldn’t suspect anything.

Of course, people eventually started to ask why didn’t he live in the Colony with Elisa, why did he only showed up from time to time. Alex and Elisa lied, obviously, they told everyone that Alex belonged to a secluded imp tribe that lived walking around the forest as nomads, which made sense since those types of imp communities do exist.

ANYWAY THE POINT IS Alex grew affectioned of those people and with their lifestyle. He started to feel like he was one of them.

And, of course, he was now closer than he ever was to Elisa.

Since they were different species, they never worried about having kids. I’ve never said this before but Alex is a doctor, he knows about this stuff, so he always made sure to reassure Elisa that "they were their own condon" and, as sad as it may sound, they couldn't have kids.

... Or so Alex thought.

You know how tigers and lions can have offspring together? Yeah, it's the same thing.

It's very hard to happen, but they spent YEARS together if you know what I mean so yeah

That's how Alex and Elisa gave birth to their first child: Tobias, the only one of a specie that is a mix between human and imp.

His parents were really worried at first, afterall, they new NOTHING about Toby's condition. They didn't know if he was going to grow as large as a human or if he'd assume imp proportions forever. After some research with his son's blood, Alex found out that Toby was indeed half human and half imp, but he was predominantly physically an imp. That means his biological features are, mostly, imp like: he'd hardly grow as large as a human through his life's course and could live as a normal imp in the Colony. The fact that he showed talent for magic (once he was old enough to do so) and was able to do it just like any other imp in the Colony also made things easier.

Elisa and Alex chose to raise Toby in the Colony, they believed it’d be healthier and safer for him (especially after some events that I’ll be talking about in other posts), although it hurt Alex to pretend that he was an imp to his son and that he couldn’t see him everyday.

Even if they couldn’t see each other everyday, Alex and Toby were very close. Toby loved his daddy very much and was very attached to him.

After five years after Toby was born, Elisa got pregnant again and gave birth to their second child: Bernardo (that’d eventually be nicknamed as “Brad”), one of the two only beings of the specie Alex and Elisa accidently created together.

For preucation, Alex took a bit of Brad’s blood and made some research, just like he did to Toby.

And what he found out wasn’t exactly... relieving.

Brad, just like Toby, was half human and half imp, but he had expressed mostly human features in his physical body. He was as small as a baby imp now, but it was a matter of time until he started to grow very VERY large.

Unlike Toby, Brad couldn’t live as an imp in the Colony and things got very complicated for them.

Alex wanted to leave. He told Elisa the Colony’s community would NEVER accept their youngest, they would never accept Alex and probably wouldn’t accept Toby either. They had to leave that place before they couldn’t hide the truth anymore, even if it cost revealing Toby, a five year old child, that most of his life was a lie.

But Elisa was hesitant. She didn’t want to leave her home, her parents, her friends. She knew Alex was right, they couldn’t stand that play for too long, but how to leave everything she had built behind? How to leave everything she knew as home behind? It wasn’t that easy.

Until something very bad happened.

Remember I said Alex made a few friends in the Colony? So, one of them was Stefan, a experienced fairy soldier that had known Elisa for as long as she was alive. He was pretty much her best friend (even if he was old enough to be her father) and now he was also great friends with Alex.

Stefan is important here. He has a very tragic backstory involving humans. He lost pretty much everything to them: his whole family and his wings, something that meant more than just flying to him.

So, as expected, he hates humans and truly believes that they are nothing more than monsters that try to manipulate you and to get advantage from imp’s and fairy’s magic.

After some years, he started to get very suspicious over Alex. Some things weren’t making any sense anymore and that “nomad imp community” was starting to sound way more like an excuse than the actual truth. He simply didn’t understand what was stopping him to live with Elisa and his sons for once.

So he did some investigation. One day, he followed Alex (that he knew as Turk) out of the Colony, in one of the days he had only come to visit his family. Alex had said earlier that he had to “go back to his own society”. Yeah, right. Stefan was hiding the whole time and followed Alex till a good distane from the Colony’s limits.

And he didn’t get exaclty happy to see his best friend growing impossibly huge out of nowhere.

Stefan now knew the truth: Alex was pretending to be an imp using shrinking potions. He didn’t belong to any nomad imp group, he was a human that lived in his own house and was coming to the Colony to play family with them.

Of course, he didn’t only felt betrayed, but pissed as fuck. Stefan didn’t waste any time: as soon as Alex came back to the Colony he confronted him. Alex tried to explain himself, but they only argued and ended up having a pretty bad fight.

In anger, Stefan didn’t want to hear no more explanations, so he told some of the Colony’s high authorities about Alex’s lies and that they had to do something about it.

The Colony’s Council decided to call Elisa and solve things between imps and fairies only. But they showed her no mercy.

They basically gave her two options: or she’d prove her loyalty to the Colony and would kill her husband and her human son, or the Colony would sentence all of them to death penalty, including Toby and Brad, children that they claimed should have never been born.

Elisa was in shatters. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t kill the man she loved and her baby child, she just couldn’t. She was about to accept the second option, rathering die with her family than killing them, but Stefan decided to help her out.

He wasn’t expecting the Council to be so cruel and he started to regret his decisions the moment he saw how Elisa was worried about her family and how much she loved them, even if they were human. He hated Alex and Brad, but seeing Elisa in excruciating pain over them was impossible for him, so he made up a plan with her to save everybody.

It cost Elisa to trust Stefan, he had told their secrets to the worst people possible, but she had no option aside from accepting his help and following his plan.

The plan was simple: Elisa would tell the Council she’d kill Alex and Brad and would tell Alex that she had changed her mind and that they should leave the Colony as soon as possible now that Stefan knew the truth.

Alex believed her and, after Stefan’s confirmation, so the Council did. The next step was to take Alex and Brad to the Colony’s limits, pretending they were about to leave.

Then it happened.

Elisa made, with Stefan’s help, a huge barrier on the Colony’s frontier that didn’t allowed humans to cross it. It was basically a security method that they never thought it’d be necessary.

But now it was and it wasn’t meant to protect the ones inside the Colony...

Of course, Alex didn’t understand SHIT.

He spent MONTHS returning to the Colony in his shrinking form, trying to find a way to cross the barrier and to get Toby back.

Or to talk to Elisa.

Or to understand.

Or anything.

He just wanted his family.

Eventually, his potions ended and he was left to raise Brad on his own and to never see his wife and oldest son again.

Since then, he hates Elisa. Or at least thinks he does. He’s just deeply mad at her, he doesn’t understand why she left them.

He did everything for her. Denyed his own race, submitted himself to the dangerous effects of a extremely nocive potion which he faces the consequences till this day, did his fucking best to be the best father and husband his family could have-

All this love, all this effort, all this sweat and blood

Wasted.

It took years for him to fully recover. Aside from the health problems the abusive use of the shrinking potions brought, he also became alcohoolic. Because he wasn’t mentally estable enough, neither to take care of himself and of his very very small son, he went to live in his parents house. His family knew about Elisa and the children they had together, his folks actually liked her a lot so it saddened them as well that she simply abandoned Alex and Brad and that they would never see Toby again.

His family didn’t had to worry about Brad’s very little size for too long though, before he was one year old he had already reached his human size.

Anyway, Alex’s family gave him a huge help until he was healthy enough to take care of Brad, the only one left from the family he built.

Back to Elisa, she didn’t told Alex her plan because she KNEW he wouldn’t want to do it. She simply knew Alex would be too stubborn. He’d have wanted to try to escape or to face the Council. Both alternatives would get them all killed.

Toby didn’t understand why his mother did what she did. He was forced to go back home with her, screaming the whole time, saying that they left his father and brother behind while Elisa was crying endelessly.

Stefan came to them eventually and calmed Toby down. His heart broke when he saw Elisa. She was... not okay.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to assist her. He immediatly went to a representent of the Council and took them to Elisa and to the Colony’s frontier to prove that she had done it and did even more than she was suppose to. Of course, not without consequences to her sanity, she had just killed her husband and baby, of course she was in pain.

Nevertheless, the Council confirmed Elisa had done her part and left to leave her alone with the child they let live.

After that, Toby spent weeks returning to that spot of the frontier to look for his dad and brother. No sucess.

As time went by, he eventually forgot about Brad, he was very young when they tore apart and Elisa and Stefan never talked about him nor Alex. All he can remember is that there was a baby in the middle of that mess, but he can’t relate to it.

He kept the memories of his father though, who was closer to him, and till this day he believes he’s alive somewhere and that he can be found. But he has no idea he’s a human and has no idea of his own true nature.

Elisa and Alex miss their respective sons deeply and think about them everyday. They also miss each other very much and the first months after the incident were terribly agonizing for the both of them.

They kept going for the child that had remained for the both of them and raised them apart from each other. Alex never told Brad what happened and so Elisa did to Toby. Like that, none of the brothers knew about the existence of each other.

Until the day Toby was sent, coincidentally, to his “little” brother’s house

And none of them has no idea of this fucking long backstory I just spent four months writing :)

enjoy

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