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#makes the 4 hours i spent on this so worth it
raveartts · 2 months
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i decided to look at my comm prices and i am so uncertain if i'm asking way too much or too little
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saltytyrus · 1 month
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🥹
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meatheadmutt · 10 months
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Sooooooooo mad but also. like. not
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propertyofwicked · 1 month
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SECRETS - LN
lando x fewtrell!reader (cos who doesn't love a bit of brother's best friend?). no content warnings for this part. pls lemme know what u think of this pls and thank u.
part 1 -> part 2 -> part 3 -> part 4 -> part 5 -> part 6 -> part 7!
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y/n was a bit of an enigma in the fewtrell family. yes, she’d grown up karting with her older brother and his best friend, but it wasn’t a career for her. not like it was for max, who took his love of karting to championships and content creation and especially not like lando, who made it all the way to F1.
no, y/n fewtrell wanted a career, for now at least anyway. which leads us to now, she’s sat in a second year lecture, not listening to a single word as a slew of messages from her brother almost vibrate her phone off the desk.
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she didn’t really need to think about it at all, of course she’d be there. whilst she had no interest in her actually involvement, she loved motor sports, and loved supporting lando. the amount of times she’d been recognised in her uni towns sports bar, watching the F1, was getting concerning. not to mention the time she’d finished a 10 hour shift and somehow fell asleep in said sports bar, made worse and more recognisable to lando fans by the quadrant hoodie and LN4 beanie - max had not let her live it down since the moment the photo came on his twitter feed. it just seemed odd that lando all of a sudden wanted, no, needed her presence - after all, he'd had minimal contact with her for almost a year.
but, she weighed up in her head, getting to see lando was somewhat of a reward. yes spending the day with her brother would be good, although she could sense her summer would potentially be spent with him anyway. but lando, what could she say about lando. he was always around growing up, and yes admittedly there had been a few moments shared in her early adulthood that would indicate something more but it always remained unspoken. lingering touches here and there, the night they spent dancing together in a club, though written off as drunk friendliness, and most notably an interrupted moment where he whispered “max would kill me if he knew the truth”. y/n never got to find out what the truth was, as max himself came barrelling into the room, equally as drunk as everyone else at the gathering. from that night on, she barely saw or heard from lando, well, until now supposedly.
ultimately, y/n decided that dwelling on what could’ve been, whilst lando jets off around the world, was simply not worth it. she focused on her studies, and began declining offers to watch lando race on the other side of the world. y/n fewtrell was a strong independent woman who did not need the validation from her brothers best friend.
didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy it.
as predicted, the academic year ended and y/n found herself moving a bag of clothes into max’s spare room. people started spotting her in the background of streams again, fans excited to see the fewtrell’s back together and in full force - y/n now adorning a lovely bruise down the side of her arm from where max had shoved her too hard off a chair and onto the floor. sore losers run in the family.
“MAX! that hurt,” y/n whined from her new found position on the floor.
“oh did it,” max asks mockingly, “sucks to be you i guess” he adds with a shrug, although letting her use his arm to pull herself back up.
he moved back to playing his game when a text popped up on her phone making her giggle.
“what? what are you laughing at?”
“lando said “push him back”. lando,” y/n said, looking at the camera, “if i could, i would - but i quite like having somewhere to live and my own personal chauffeur,” she laughed, max laughing with her.
a month later she was in the passenger seat of max’s car, him pulling in to park outside the silverstone track. it was hours before the public would show up, so she instantly spotted the curly haired man. yes, the bright orange jumper was like a bat signal for lando, but y/n’s eyes were immediately drawn to him naturally. max had just about pulled the handbrake on when lando bounded over to the car, pulled the passenger door open and lunged himself around y/n.
“you came! it’s been too long since ive had my little lucky charm in my garage,” he says, looking directly into her eyes. a red flush runs up her cheeks, hoping that the boys will put it down to the loss of air conditioning. any awkwardness she had anticipated between the two dissolved almost instantly.
“i know, i’m sorry. i should just drop out of uni and follow you around the world, i know. forgive me,” she jokes holding her hands up, and lando quirks an eyebrow up, as if saying “you should”.
“don’t do that, y/n. one of the fewtrell’s needs to be properly educated,” max jokes, ”besides, not having his lucky charm around all the time keeps his ego in check.” lando chuckles in response, finally moving to stand fully out of the car and allowing y/n and max to climb out and join him.
“so, home race in 2 days - how you feelin’ mate?” max asked lando, raising his hand to do one of those bro hand grabs. they continued talking, y/n trailing just behind them as they walked into the building and around to the mclaren area. it was always a spectacle, coming to races. the teams, the drivers, the media, the celebrations - it was somewhat overwhelming. it was weird to see the place so empty, then again, it was 7am on FP1 day so the only people walking around were the odd driver and mechanics.
they continued to walk through the paddock, y/n just listening to the boys discussing an upcoming quadrant project, eventually reaching his drivers room. the sofa looked so inviting, especially to the girl who was dragged kicking and screaming out of bed at 5am. whilst lando distracted max, showing him his helmet for the home race, y/n crawled over to the sofa, curled up in a corner and shut her eyes.
“y/n? you good?” lando asked, after clocking her new found position.
“shut up.”
“ouch.”
“she threatened to rip my eyeballs out and shove them down my throat this morning when i tried to get her up. being told to shut up is nothing,” max laughed, ruffling the top of his sisters head and messing up her hair, “she just likes her sleep.”
“yes, she does, please let her have it,” y/n mumbles bluntly, met with chuckles from the boys.
“we’re gonna get breakfast. ill bring you back something if you want to stay here?” lando asks, her eyes perking up at the thought of food.
“yes please,” she says, with a soft smile directed towards him.
-
“next time, me and you are getting separate hotel rooms,” y/n groaned, rolling around the sofa of her hotel room trying to get comfortable.
“next time, tell me you want to come with me early enough for me to book you a separate hotel room, y/n,” her brother grumbled back.
“i’m gonna see if there’s a gym here. i need to tire myself out if i’m going to sleep on this…thing,” she said, poking at the solid leather of the sofa.
max didn’t respond to his sister, instead he rolled over to face the door and shut his eyes. y/n grabbed her key card and her shoes, and walked out the door, happy to be away from her brother. she loved him, she really did, but after spending the entire day in lando’s small driver room with him - she really just needed some brother-free air.
she barely reached the lift at the end of the hallway when she got a text, diverting her entire plans for that evening.
i’m bored. come on a drive with me?
going on a late night drive with lando was not out of the ordinary, but usually max was there. had he sent max the same message? either way, she responded with a quick yes and thumbs up.
cool. im outside btw. hurry up.
have you just turned up assuming i was going to say yes?
was i wrong?
shut up im coming down now
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gaiathemexicanbeauty · 7 months
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desperate sex with sanji | sanji drabble (18+)
18+ POST SO MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
sanji and you have been waiting all day and you're finally alone ♡
warnings: nsfw without barely any plot below the line, lots of praise, men whimpering (yeahhahahhahahah), p in v, afab reader!, pretty much quick and fast sex lol, this is mostly for anime sanji but i'm not gonna be the one to limit who you want this to be
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"been w-waiting for this alllll dayy.." sanji whines as he pushes your legs up and apart, looking down at you with a look that elicits a soft moan out of you. it's not like you hadn't seen him all day; in fact, you had spent the day running errands together, cooked lunch together, all the good stuff that comes out of being in a relationship. what had set the two of you off was everything that had conspired that morning. your head in sanji's lap and sucking him for all he was worth, soft moans leaving you every time his fingers stroked deep inside you. the two of you had been SO close, you could have gone to sleep that night without thinking of having sex but a hard knock at the door had gone and ruined the whole thing. but now you were alone again.
sanji buries his face in your breasts with a shaky sigh of relief, a soft gasp leaving you when you feel him lick a stripe between them. your back arches as soft whines leave you when his lips find your nipples and suck on them until he leaves them perky and raw, leaving sloppy kisses on them before he pulls away. "you're absolutely stunning like this.." he says in between pants, shakily starting to line himself up with your slit. "p-please, sanji, hurry, pleeease.." you moan when he rubs only his tip against you, clearly trying to make this last. "i know, i know, beautiful, i'll make you feel so good soon, i promise." he says with a shaky voice, finally letting himself slip past your slit and making the two of you moan in unison.
he really had planned to take it easy, let the moment last like he normally did. but once he felt the way you clenched around him, he knew he was done for. a desperate sort of sound leaves him before he immediately starts to pound into you, making a loud moan leave you as your hands find his hair and tug on it. he nearly drools at the feeling, swallowing thickly as he pushes your legs further back for more access and to watch the way your breasts bounce with each thrust. "gods, p-please, gorgeous.." he whines as he massages your thighs, beads of sweat already beginning to form on his forehead. you can barely do anything but babble, too blissed out to do anything but take him. "soooo nice and tight for me, t-thank you for m-making me feel so goood." he says, the occasional whimper leaving him with every stroke inside of you.
more quickly than he wants, he can feel the coil inside him of tightening to the point of no return, a pathetic cry leaving him as he pushes your legs further apart to wrap them around his waist. he buries his face in between your breasts again, making you let out a cry of your own as he considerably picks up the pace of his hips; his words are becoming so slurred you can barely understand him. "pleasebabyplease, inside, l-let me cuminside, oh g-gods!" he cries out, leaving sloppy kisses over any skin he can reach. "p-pleaseee!" is the only response you can manage, pulling at his hair as you feel your own orgasm washing over you. before he even realizes it, pathetic whines and whimpers are slipping out of him as he cums hard, not stopping his hips for anything as you can only meet his own sounds with loud moans. your thighs twitch and shake as you let sanji ride out his orgasm, something that proves hard with the way he can't seem to get enough. without pausing, he gives you a breathless smile, this time grabbing your hips to press them impossibly closer to his. "o-one more time?"
can you guess who my favorite one piece character is yet another drabble before class bc i have 4 hours of nothing to do LMAOAO
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loveforeren · 9 months
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𝚅𝚊𝚕𝚞𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚛
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𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 ➳ 𝙼𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 ➳ 𝙼𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎. 𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜.𝚌𝚘𝚖. 𝙰 𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚙𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚕 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎. 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙼𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚊 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗, 𝚙𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚙. 𝙱𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝.
𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 ➳ 𝙾𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚡 (𝙼 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐), 𝙿𝚗𝚅 𝚜𝚎𝚡, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎? 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝙷𝚊𝚕𝚏-𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚡 (𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎), 𝚞𝚑𝚖 𝚒𝚍𝚔 𝚜𝚎𝚡, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚕𝚊𝚣𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎.
𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚒 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 ➳ 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚊 𝚒 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚛𝚕. 𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚝 3 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎. 𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚖 𝚒𝚍𝚌 𝚒𝚍𝚌. 𝙸𝚍𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚝 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸𝚝𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏.
𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚢𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 4 𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝙲𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢?
𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘
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Miguel's cursor hovered over the yes, and he clicked. He couldn't believe he was so desperate to buy 4 hours with a woman. He pinched the bridge of his nose and hoped the 50 dollars he spent was worth it. He was supposed to meet this Candy woman on Friday night at 8. It was Thursday, and he was absolutely dreading it. He doesn't know what got into him.
On Friday, Miguel dressed casually in some blue denim jeans and a black shirt. He got in the car murmuring to himself about how this might've been a bad idea. Pulling into the parking lot of the hotel he spots you standing outside in a black dress and heels. His hands grip the steering wheel before stepping out of the car, and approaching you nervously.
"...Candy..?" He questioned.
You turn and smile at him. That smile could've blinded him.
"...Ah~..you must be my lovely customer...?" You trail off not knowing his name.
"Miguel..My name is Miguel.." he said with his hands behind his back.
"Ahh...Miguel...it's nice to meet you. If I knew my customer would be so handsome I would've dressed better.." you say jokingly.
"..you look breathtaking.." he said.
You grin. So he was a smooth talker..? It didn't seem like it..his tall build. His monotone voice seemed to waver when he spoke to you. He was so damn cute. You were excited for tonight. Finally, some real amusement for you. You grab his hand, and you feel him tense up.
"Let's go to our room, Handsome," you said.
Your voice was like honey. He was in heaven. Maybe this wasn't a bad idea after all. You lead him into the hotel and got the key to the room.
"Handsome, we have to shower before we do anything. Would you prefer a shower together or separate?" You placed a hand on your hip as you wait for the elevator.
"..together.." he mumbled.
You laughed and placed a hand on his chest.
"Okay..that can be arranged~" you purred.
The way to the room was pretty much silent because he was nervous. You could tell it was his first time doing anything like this so you wanted to make him comfortable. When you guys get into the room you set a bag you had on the floor beside the door.
"Let's take a bath, shall we?" You said.
Miguel simply nodded and followed you to the bathroom. You start to undress slipping the dress down to your feet. You turn to see Miguel doing the same, obviously embarrassed about it.
"Ohh..Mr.Handsome has a great body.." you teased going close to him and running your hand down his chest.
Miguel tensed up again and let out a sheepish smile.
"Thank you.." he said.
You grin, before taking off the rest of your clothes as Miguel did the same. The bathtub was pretty big so you and him sat on opposite sides with your legs on top of his. You sink into the water and grin.
"So, Miguel, what would like me to do for you tonight? The choice is all yours." You say.
He stuttered not able to form a sentence. He simply shrugged.
"You dunno...hmm, I know exactly what to do for you." You said sweetly.
The bath was pretty comfortable making small talk. You wanted to get him to loosen up a bit.
After the bath, you were both in robes and Miguel was sitting at the edge of the bed.
"You seem a little nervous..why don't I loosen you up." You place a hand on his thigh.
"Okay.." he nods.
Slipping your rob off you go to your knees in front of him. The way you looked up at him with a grin went straight to his dick. You untie the robe to reveal his dick hard, and ready for whatever you had coming. He was huge. Your hand wraps around his shaft, and he lets out a low groan.
"I haven't even started yet, handsome." You let out a low laugh.
The feeling of your hand wrapped around his cock, sent Miguel into an almost euphoric state. That warm hand that delicately held his earlier was now wrapped around his shaft. You start slowly pumping his dick and leave small kisses on his tip. You could hear him breathe heavily. Precum dripping from his tip, you take it a step further. Your lips wrapped around his cock, and his hand goes to your hair. He was gently gripping your hair. You take bobbing your head up and down on his cock with your hands massaging his balls. This was the most attention Miguel's cock has had in months maybe even years. It was mostly him pumping his cock with his huge and calloused hands before you. The view of your plump lips wrapped around him was to die for.
"S-shit just like that, Cariño," He stuttered out.
Cariño..your mind raced. Not many men had the guts to call you pet names but Mr.Tall and Stoic did. That intrigued you. Miguel's hand pushed your head further down. The way you maintained eye contact as your throat took in him was intoxicating. Miguel stares at you with his reddish-brown eyes. Miguel threw his head back from the pleasure releasing in your mouth. You keep your tear-filled eyes on him as the neverending amount of his seed flowed in your mouth. You grin and spit the remaining sperm into your hand.
"Hmm, that was a lot, Miguel. It's been a while hasn't it.." you teased as you stood up.
Miguel nodded slightly as he recovered from his orgasm, still hard, and ready for whatever you had prepared. You quickly wiped your hand and crawl into Miguel's lap. Your lips lightly grazed his lips light as a feather even. Your arms worked their way around his neck. Miguel let out a groan. You were killing him. He's never wanted someone so bad in his life. Your lips connect to his and Miguel's hand trails to your waist. You push your body against his and feel his tongue explore wherever it could in your mouth. He was making you feel good. Usually with male customers, you had to fake attraction, pleasure, and lust. Miguel was different it seemed he wanted to pleasure you more than himself. Miguel leans back onto the bed, and he stares at you almost mesmerized.
"Maybe this wasn't a bad idea.." he mumbled to himself.
You grin and run your hand from his chest to his stomach. You reach over to the dresser grabbing the condoms that were required to use.
"Protection is a must, Handsome." You say as you opened one of the condoms.
You slide the condom onto his cock. You hear him hiss slightly from the feeling. You place your hand back on his chest and lean forward.
"Do you want to take control or do you want to continue to be my little plaything..?" You whispered teasingly.
You expected him to keep his shy and somewhat submissive demeanor but to your surprise, you felt him lift you and set you on the bed. He was now hovering over you with a look you haven't seen from him before. It was animalistic. He was almost looking at you as if you were his prey.
"I think..I'll take control right now," his voice deep, and smooth.
He caught you off guard but you liked that. The man who you previously thought had little to no experience sexually was about to take control. This was about to be interesting.
Miguel leaned back spreading both of your legs gently and placing them on the sides of his waist. He took his shaft in his hand pushing the tip of his cock between your slick folds. His other hand was on your waist. Slowly he starts to push himself into you. You let out a gasp. You could feel every inch of his length enter into you. The feeling of him stretching you out was electrifying.
"Shit so tight, Amor" Miguel mumbled.
Finally bottoming out, Miguel let out a groan and grinned.
"See you took it all..'m so proud, beautiful" He purred
Was this the man you just previously talk to? Something about him was different he seemed..more confident and driven by lust. Miguel starts slowly pulling his hips back and pounding into you. It was deep yet slow. You could feel every inch of his length moving inside you. Both of his hands stayed on your hips firmly. Miguel began to move faster and mumbled sentences in Spanish that you could barely understand. Those 4 years of Spanish in high school didn't do shit...Your eyes were blurry with tears as he pushed into you repeatedly.
"You're taking me so well, Mami. That pretty pussy of yours is loving this isn't it?" He murmured.
You nod as your body felt a jolt every time he pushed himself deep within your walls. Your eyes rolled back, and your moans are almost pornographic.
"S-slow down too much-" You manage to squeak out.
Miguel grinned putting his hand on your stomach where he could see the bulge from his cock.
"Hmm? You gotta say it more clearly f'me to understand you" he purred
You let out a moan, and Miguel leaned over kissing you roughly. His thrusts were still the same deep and fast. You've never had a customer cause you this much...pleasure. Miguel lets out a groan and then stops. You were confused..why did he stop..?
"..What's wrong-" Before you could finish you were cut off. As he pulled out slowly.
"Turn over f'me, hermosa" He said.
You obliged and turned over already knowing what he wanted. You raise your ass, and your face goes down into the pillow. Miguel grabs your waist again and lines himself up with your needy cunt. He pushed himself deep into you again and let out a deep groan as he feels your walls around him. He starts to move again slowly but surely picking up the pace. Your moans were down out into the pillow. Miguel lets a groan out as you push your ass back against him. Miguel moves one of his hands to your ass squeezing it as he pushed into you. You feel him lean over planting kisses on your back.
"Mami, you feel good?" He asked
He asked how you felt? He sure was different from the rest of your customers.
"Y-yes- shit" you mewled out
Miguel mightve been rough but their was a certain gentleness to his kisses on your body. It was almost as if he was...making love to you..? Miguel let out a moan as he kisses your back and neck.
"Shit- 'm gonna come, Hermosa-" he hissed.
You couldn't even hear what he said at this point. His touch your moans drowned out everything around you. You feel yourself about to come undone your body clenched around Miguel. And for the first time in ages you felt yourself come undone. Your back arched and Miguel pushed himself deep into you as he came as well. Miguel moaned as the euphoric state washed over his body. You both felt down on to the bed, Miguel managed to stay inside of you.
"What happened to the shy and quiet guy I met outside..?" You teased as catch your breath.
"You brought something out in me.." he rasped out
"It's only 10:45 you still have an hour and fifteen minutes, my valuable customer" you remind him
Miguel grinned wrapping an arm around your waist.
"I'll make the most of this, and back very soon Miss Candy" He whispered.
"I'll be looking forward to it." You replied.
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beeapocalypse · 2 years
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realized hyde would stop docking at the wolfstack docks 4 fear of the high maintenance (name of his phorcyd-class corvette. kept it from the previous owner bc he thought it was funny) getting recognized as the same ship thats been sinking admiral ships. maybe he tries docking at the cumaean canal+hitching a ride w surface sailors headed 2 fallen london b4 the haunted doctor sits him down+very clearly explains that going to the second most admiralty populated dock in the entire unterzee is dumb as hell. ends up going w the same plan at venderbight instead (maybe organizes a deal with the blind bruiser+his connections so theres more guaranteed passage rather than trying to beg a spot on a ship for him+his entire crew for leave at woflstack? idk)
#hydes sister comes down 4 her surprise no warning at all visit after he finally finally tells her abt his wife+kid in his happy birthday--#--letter to her two years After they were killed and hydes OBVIOUSLY not in town so she has to spin this great emotional story abt lost--#--family connections and shit to his nextdoor neighbor that hed entrusted w a spare key in case he died so theyd be--#--able to let the law in 2 sort through his paperwork+will (did not have to make up too much stuff. the two really were largely--#--estranged outside of those pleasantry birthday letters even b4 hyde took off 4 the unterzee in search of their father) and when--#--the neighbor finally finally trusts her theyre like HEY. you need to hear every single bit of gossip i have on this--#--guy. its incredible. and shes forced 2 invite them in for tea (hyde only keeps shitty peach tea he drowns in sugar) bc shes--#--desperate for any info at all on her brother who apparently kept a HUGE part of his life from her and ends up hearing like five hours--#--worth of gossip w stuff ranging from him being the pirate-poets great rival (not true. that was pascal) to him being an agent of the--#--dawn-machine (not true. just has personal issues w sunlight) to him having a demoness midnight visitor (not true. only reason he--#--got access to hells embassy in fallen london was bc early on into his 'fuck all life' thing he wanted 2 side w them). every new--#--outlandish tale makes his sister (a very reserved and orderly accountant) want to faint#<-- oh my god i have not talked about hydes sister at all ehre have i. shes older than him and i dont really have a name 4 her yet (maybe--#--marie or something ? idk) and b4 that visit she spent her entire life surface-side
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transmascissues · 4 months
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pre-anything | 1.5 years on t | 4 weeks post-op
looking at these pictures side by side like this really puts so much in perspective. all the hard parts of second puberty and surgery recovery, all the fighting with my parents over the steps it took to get here, all the hours i worked at an awful job to save up for it, all the years i spent waiting for any of this to be possible…it’s all so worth it to be where i am now.
two years ago, if you had shown me the picture on the right, i probably would’ve said that even t and top surgery could never make me look like that, no matter how much i wanted to. that was the kind of person whose pictures i would look up to as some sort of wishful thinking, never as a realistic goal, and now here i am. now that’s my body and i feel like i can relax in it and just be for the first time.
being trans is so fucking cool man.
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theballadofmars · 4 months
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RANKING TGCF CHARACTERS BY HOW LONG I THINK THEY WOULD SURVIVE IN FNAF:
12. QI RONG: dies in night 1 at 12:30 A.M because doesn't listen to Phone Guy's instructions and wanders around the pizzeria. Probably kicked an animatronic because he's bored.
11. LANG QIANQIU: tried to be calm and serene about the situation, but gets anxious and angry and goes fight the animatronics. Leaves the security office and Foxy inmediatly kills him.
10. BEEFLEAF: if they're together they die in night 1 because sqx gets braver at hx's side and is curious, goes to explore and brings hx along. Obviously, they get killed.
9. HE XUAN: they go to the kitchen for a midnight snack at 5:00 A.M and finds Chica there. She kills them.
8. FENG XIN: survives night 1 (he didn't listen to the instructions so is a miracle), but runs out of patience in night 2 and fights the animatronics when they try to enter the office instead of closing the door. He loses.
7. SHI QINGXUAN: if they are alone, they will just panic. They talk to the animatronics and scream. Survives two nights (yeyy!!!), but the third night they're so afraid that they close the door and run out of power.
6. QUAN YIZHEN: doesn't listen to Phone Guy's instructions, falls asleep and somehow survives night 1 and 2 like that. Third night is when he can't sleep because of the noise, fights the animatronics to shut them up and ends up getting killed by the Cupcake.
5. PEI MING: so, this may seem a weird placement, but pm is actually pretty competent in his job. Plus, he makes Chica uncomfortable so he only has to fight three animatronics. But by night 4 he becomes too confident in his surviving skills and forgets to check Foxy as much as he should and dies.
4. FENGQING: they would go together, because is fengqing and they're a dynamic duo. They yell all the time, but also work great together. They die at night 4 because they're in the middle of an argument, forget about the animatronics (it's not the first time this happens) and Golden Freddy kills them because he can't deal with them yelling / making out anymore.
3. MU QING: almost survives 5 nights, but after 4 days of this he gets a bit cocky and he's killed at 5.00 A.M by Golden Freddy.
2. XIE LIAN: ok, listen. Xl is about to die every night, but somehow survives at the last minute. The animatronics are pretty confused about this. He ends the week without problem, but when he goes for his paycheck he is bitten by one of the animatronics and spends the rest of his life paying the hospital debt and dealing with ptsd, which you could argue that is worse than death.
1. LING WEN: she's lw. Job with terrible hours, with lots of multitasking where they don't pay you enough to deal with this shit? That's her territory. Survives 5 nights + the extra night + custom night 20/20 mode.
HONORABLE MENTIONS for characters that didn't make it to the ranking because they're just like that:
-HUA CHENG: he's not trapped with the animatronics, the animatronics are trapped with him. This bitch would survive the first night and come back the next day with a bat made of steel and break every animatronic. Then burns the place down. If this is after xl gets bitten, the animatronics don't survive even a day.
-HUALIAN: they fuck in the security office. The animatronics are uncomfortable and don't approach them.
-SHI WUDU: works one night, then sues the company. He's now the owner of Fazbear Enterteiment. And maybe William's next victim.
-YUSHI HUAN & PEI SU: spent one night there, don't come back because it's not worth it.
-YIN YU: is Phone Guy. He dies at night 4 but special mention anyway because Phone Guy.
-JUN WU: would be the fucking killer. Gets springlocked and makes it everyone's problem.
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macfrog · 9 months
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state-of-the-art sex on fire chapter two
*chants* ceo joel ceo joel ceo joel
part 2 to you shook me all night long!!! massive credit to @whore-4-pedro again for the concept this is SO much fun. work trip coming soon babies!!! masterlist here, ao3 here 💓
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pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader
summary: joel’s had a rough week at work. you figure you know the perfect way to relieve some of his tension
warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) more teasing and touching, oral (m receiving), getting handsy in public + fingering, unprotected semi-public piv sex, creampie, daddy kink, softdom!joel, age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), cursing, workplace relationship
word count: 6.6k
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist
The stretch is too much; he’s all the way in down to his knuckles, curling and then uncurling his fingers deep inside you. Your hips are slowly circling by instinct, rutting against his hand as it fucks you, sending fluttery waves of pleasure all over your body. You ball up your fist, nails digging half-moons into the skin of your palm, attempting to fight the tidal wave fast approaching as Joel’s fingers snap harder into you, a third beckoning your orgasm nearer and nearer. You’re there – right where he wants you, almost throwing your head back with the feeling he’s giving you. And then you make the mistake of looking at him, catching that ever so Joel smile when, shielded from the others by his hand, he breathes, “There’s my girl.”
The black mug. Not the one with the gold handle – that’s one of Martha’s. She doesn’t use it much – at least not as much as the one with her granddaughter’s face printed on it – but she once left you with a stack of paperwork to shred all by yourself just ‘cause you made yourself a tea in it.
No. Just plain black all over. No words, no pictures. Plain. Black.
Few spoonsful of coffee into the filter, hard granules sprinkling over the white paper. Close the lid, flick the switch, and then wait for it to brew. Once it’s done, fill the mug almost to the top – until the coffee kisses the bottom of that one chip in the ceramic. No sugar. No sweetener. No nothing.
Just plain black.
“Thanks, darlin’.” Joel takes the mug carefully from your hands as you wander over, then you perch yourself by his side on Martha’s desk. He takes a sip and nods like usual, confirming what you already know.
You make a damn good cup of coffee.
“You’re worth, what, a few hundred million? You can’t buy a better coffee machine?”
“’s wrong with that one?” he asks, mug on his bottom lip.
“Works like it’s from the eighties or something.”
Martha clears her throat behind you both. “I am gonna give you five seconds to explain what you mean by that.”
“I mean…it’s not exactly state-of-the-art, is it?”
Joel’s jaw drops dramatically. His head wobbles like it’s about to implode, hearing what you just said. “You hear that, Martha? We ain’t state-of-the-art anymore, you ‘n me. We’re older ‘n that coffee machine, you know.”
Martha’s shaking her head, clicking away at her computer.
Joel nudges your arm with a soft chuckle and you sigh, turning away to watch the four men in his office; stood an awkward distance apart, small talking, pacing, adjusting their suits. One of them is messing with some trinket on Joel’s bookshelf.
“You think they’re nervous?” you ask, and he laughs from behind you.
“I reckon they’ve a lot to be nervous about.”
“Was it that bad? On Monday?”
Joel had spent the better part of four hours locked in that conference room, right after you two – you know. He was late for lunch by the time he was ushering them out, collars loose, jackets slung over arms. It was probably a good thing you’d tired him out a little beforehand, or he’d have been way more unforgiving than he was.
Three departments in Joel’s company have gone over budget. It isn’t a huge deal. He has the money. Just, he wants the right people in charge of it, and right now…he clearly doesn’t have that. Honestly, you hate to admit it, but it makes sense. You’re kinda on Joel’s side.
He’d given them to the end of the week to come up with action plans, figure out how to undo the mess. This is the end of the week. This is supposed to be the big reveal.
Joel runs a hand through his hair, palm hooking around the back of his neck.
“Wasn’t great,” he mutters.
You knew that much. You’d asked what he wanted to eat as he passed your desk en route back to his office, and he’d waved his hand and told you to order whatever you wanted with his card. When his door closed, you glanced over to Martha, who shrugged, and went back to playing solitaire.
You figured he wasn’t down for more sex. He didn’t reappear until five o’clock, when he walked you down to the street, carrying your jacket for you, and helped you into your cab.
The elevator dings and the brass doors separate, revealing a figure behind.
George Mackley. Short. Stout. Obnoxiously bright red tie. Head of marketing.
He waddles in a hurry toward the three of you, nodding curtly to Joel as he passes. His shaking hand fumbles around the handle of the office door, which he pulls on instead of pushing, and gives an awkward chuckle before rushing inside.
“Fuckin’…finally,” Joel grunts, passing you his mug and standing up.
“Should I order my own lunch again?” you ask, looking up at the man stretching his arms out before you. Like he’s about to go in and punch sense into them all.
You’d probably love him to do that. It’d make for some great sex afterward.
“I’ll be takin’ a lunch break,” he replies, tapping your knee, “whether we’re done or not. Be out at one.”
You nod, and he stalks off to his office. His mug’s still warm in your lap. You’re still staring when he enters the room, watching how all five men immediately file into the couches across from his desk just at the sight of him. Watching how Joel’s lean figure sits back against his desk, his ankles crossed. His arms folded at his chest. His broad shoulders beneath that tight white shirt.
He has that way about him. Commanding, confident. Strong. It’s probably what convinced you to fold, if you’re honest. Sure, he’s kind, and he’s a good boss, all things considered. He’s funny. But he’s cool. It takes a lot to shake Joel.
This meeting? It’s not shaking him. He’s barely even giving these guys enough attention to sit up straight. He’s so damn breezy, so laidback that when he pushes off of his desk and stands up, you give a small gasp.
You lift his mug, drinking from the same spot his lips touched only minutes ago.
“Thought you hated black coffee,” Martha murmurs.
“Stress sipping,” you reply. “Fucking hell…”
Joel’s erratic. Waving his arms, pacing around the room. You swear the men cower as he approaches; shoulders hunched and heads low until he’s past them.
He looks…Yeah. Fuck it. He looks a little shaken.
Martha tuts. “Shouldn’t be idiots with his money.”
“He has money, though,” you offer. “Like, this ain’t that big a deal, is it? He can afford to go over budget sometimes.”
“Joel doesn’t like anyone messin’ with what’s his,” she tells you. “Doesn’t like other hands on his toys. It’s not the overspending he’s pissed about. It’s the crossin’ the line.”
Your eyebrow cocks. She can’t see your expression, and good thing, because it’d probably give you away. Doesn’t like other hands on his toys.
A flash of movement from Joel’s office drags your eyes from the dregs of his coffee back to the transparent wall between you. He’s whipping the shades closed one by one, putting a barrier between his office and the outside world.
It can’t mean anything good, right? It doesn’t look like they’re about to sit in a circle and braid each other’s hair. Sure as hell aren’t about to see Joel’s good side.
“I gotta go in,” you declare, lifting off of Martha’s desk like you’ve taken flight.
She calls your name, almost tired of your antics. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
But you’re already scooping up a notepad, slipping it under your arm and fishing a pen from your desk. Already walking over to the office door, hearing the dangerous hum of Joel’s voice through the wood.
Your knuckles rap three times. You don’t wait to be called inside. Just push the handle down and slip in.
He’s stood against the frame of one of the windows, hands in his pockets. When you materialize from behind the door, his face relaxes. Brows loosen, jaw slackens. Lips almost tug into a smile.
“Sorry I’m late.” You sidle over to his desk and sit down in his chair, biting on your bottom lip, casting an unsure glance around the room.
Five pale faces turned to you. George Mackley looks like he’s about to weep.
Joel thanks you and then steps forward. “So, Ken, we were at last month’s sales.”
“Uh, yeah…” Ken draws his gaze from you when Joel moves in front of the desk. As he waltzes by, he spins slowly, giving you a look as he passes.
Kill me, he mouths, rolling his eyes. You smile, looking down at your blank notebook. You’re not here to take the fucking minutes. You know that, Joel knows that. You’re only here so he has something to keep him from losing it. Something to sit and look pretty, and calm him down.
Also: you kinda want the gossip. What the fuck did these guys do with all of Joel’s money, right?
Almost two hours in, a dozen games of tic-tac-toe against yourself, and one very crude drawing of Monday morning’s activities, Joel startles you by slamming a file down onto his glass coffee table.
“And you think that’s a solution?” he spits, voice laced with fury.
“Joel, you gotta see it from my side. I’m managing thirty people down there, it’s–”
“’n I’m managing five idiots from up here. Mackley,” he turns to the face as red as the tie below it, “you got anythin’ else for me?”
George Mackley shakes his head. His hair’s unkempt; it was gelled flat to his head when he arrived, but his hands have been through it more times than Joel’s lapped the office.
“Alright. Y’know what,” Joel seethes, backing up and motioning for them to stand, “everyone out. Meeting’s over. Go.”
“Joel–” A tall man with blue eyes stands up.
“If you ain’t about to offer me somethin’ that can fuckin’ fix this mess, then shut your mouth and get out of my office. All of you.”
The men sheepishly collect their briefcases, their documents, themselves, and stand, filing out of the door one by one. You rise from Joel’s chair, taking your notepad between your fingers, and slowly wander around the desk.
He’s standing with his head in his hands, shoulders swelling with his breathing. Does he want you to leave, too? You don’t want to rile him more; certainly don’t want to be the first face his angry self sees. But you want to make sure he’s okay. Want to check on him.
Plus, he’s kind of hot when he’s pissed.
You’re tottering toward the door when Joel drops his hands from his face, notices you, and says, plain as the coffee in his mug, “Not you.”
You turn back, pushing the door closed behind you.
“Didn’t mean to yell.”
You don’t reply. Your hand lifts to find the lock blindly behind your hip, and you click it. Now there’s nobody, no one to disturb you both. No one to walk in, no one to see.
You approach him.
He’s still talking: “Didn’t want you to have to hear all that. I spoil your morning?”
Your head shakes and you mutely take his hands, leading him around to his chair and pushing him back into it.
“Baby, what–”
You part his legs with your own, his fingers still interlocked with yours. Then you think he gets it. Understands where you’re going.
You sink to your knees between his thighs.
“They were bein’ idiots,” you say, fingers undoing his belt. “’n you didn’t spoil my mornin’. You gave me a little bit of excitement.”
Joel’s breath shudders as he watches you tug his belt through the loops of his pants and drop it to the floor. Still, he laughs, and asks, “Is that so?”
“N– Oh, fuck. Not like that. Like–” You pause, breathing out a sigh.
Yeah, okay. Like that, if you want. I’m down if you are.
His pants are open, lying loose on his hips. The waistband of his boxers visible. You hook two fingers over it and peel it down a fraction, following Joel’s happy trail as it grows thicker and darker, when he puts a hand over yours and breathes your name.
“Relax,” you mutter back, nudging his hand off of yours. “Just let me take care of you.”
His head falls against the back of his chair and his shoulders sink into the leather. You pull on the elastic and take hold of the base of his cock, already stiff, slipping it out from beneath the black cotton.
Joel’s knees fall slack when you take a hold of him. Two hands, because he’s so fucking big. Your fists pump him a few times, feeling him harden in your grasp, warm skin rock solid in your hands. You lean forward on your knees, thick bead of saliva falling from your lips onto his head, dribbling down his smooth shaft.
Joel’s watching through hooded lids. Caressing your hair, petting you. Your fingers collect your spit and drag it up and down him, and you swear he almost fucking whines.
Almost isn’t enough. You want to really hear him. So you slacken your jaw, part your lips, and slide them down, tongue flat against the underside of his length as he fills your mouth. Joel’s fist tightens, pulls harshly on your hair for just a second, until he’s breathing out again in relief, body relaxing to the feel of your wet tongue around his hard cock.
“Don’t need to – do this, babygirl.”
“Mhm,” you mumble around him.
“Fuck…” he whispers.
Your elbows are hooked over his thighs, holding yourself up in place between his legs. He tastes salty; skin warm, smooth. Your tongue flickers over his head, collecting precum, and Joel groans.
You pull off of him and lick your lips.
“What you gonna do?” you ask, fingers squeezing and dragging saliva and Joel’s arousal up and down. “About the budget stuff?”
His chest is heaving, hips lifting out of the seat almost like he’s trying to put himself back where he belongs. “What…can I do?” he asks through desperate pants. “Can’t – fuck – can’t drum sense into ‘em.”
You wrap your puffy lips around his tip, kissing it, tongue playing with him again. Swirling around, gathering him on your tastebuds. “Why don’t you cut ‘em loose, then?”
Your head dips again, lips sucking around his shaft, tongue still darting around his swollen head.
He can barely fucking answer. His eyes close over and, with a groan either side of the sentence, he replies, “’s not that easy, baby. Fuck. Keep doin’ that.”
You loosen your lips enough to let your reply pass them. Your voice is muffled, thick. “Sounds easy to me.”
“Shut up,” he grunts. “Keep fuckin’ – usin’ your tongue.”
You obey, running your tongue up and down his length and coming to rest to pay more attention to his tip.
“Yeah, just like that. Good girl.”
You hollow your cheeks and let your lips trickle up and down for a bit before releasing him with a pop. Joel’s writhing underneath you, leaning almost horizontal in his chair.
“Gonna cum, daddy?”
He nods, eyes still screwed shut. “Yeah, pretty girl. You want it down your throat again?”
“Mhm.”
“Fuck – dirty girl.”
It’s all the encouragement you need. You widen your jaw, taking him in your mouth in full, until he’s choking you down to what feels like the bottom of your fucking neck. You fuck him with your throat, bobbing up and down, his fist in your hair pushing and pulling even though you don’t need him to. Your mouth meets the skin at the base of his cock over and over, dark hair brushing against your glossy lips.
Joel’s moaning each time, when his cock kisses the back of your throat, when you involuntarily choke around him, when your tongue drags along his length as he pulls you up and down. And soon his breathing loses rhythm, hips tense, and you know he’s there.
He cums, hard, at the back of your mouth. Warm release spilling out over your tongue, neatly running down your throat as you wait for him to still. His cock throbs with each shot of cum, swelling and jerking between your lips. When Joel sinks back into his chair again, you slip him out of your mouth and back under his boxershorts.
Your head lulls to the side, resting on his big thigh as you swallow him with a smile on your lips. His grip on your hair loosens, turns instead back to soft stroking, chest still panting as he comes back down. You watch him through glazed eyes; his shoulders rising and falling, breaths passing his lips like waves at the beach.
He’s twirling your hair gently around his finger, looking down at you like you’re made of twinkling gold dust.
Eventually, Joel takes a deep breath and sits up straight, beckoning you to do the same. He tucks his shirt back in, redoes his pants, then leans forward and hooks both hands under your arms, pulling you up to him.
You giggle as he lifts you onto his lap, straddling him with your knees either side of his waist. Your elbows rest on his shoulders, hands linking at the back of his neck.
His jaw turns upward, and you lower yours, your lips meeting in a soft embrace. You laugh against him, letting his tongue slip into your mouth, pushing yours into his.
“Better?” you ask once you part.
“Better, darlin’. Thank you.”
He kisses you again, a little more rushed, little less tender. Then his hands squeeze your ass and you squeal into his mouth, jumping up off of him.
You pass him his belt and lift the empty coffee mug off of his desk. “Refill?”
“Yeah. Sure. Thanks,” he says, slipping the leather through his belt loops. His shoulders are lifted, tummy sucked in as he feeds it through. He almost looks cute.
You smile and then turn on your heels, wiping the corners of your mouth as you emerge from the office.
—————
“Is he comin’, or what?”
“Huh?”
Martha jerks her head in the direction of Joel’s office. She’s stood at your desk, hands on her hips, bag over her shoulder.
“He’s…Yeah, he said he would be. Let me go check.”
You close over the budget report file you’d been reading through and shimmy out from behind your desk, trying to amble as casually as possible over to the shuttered blinds.
You turn the handle, poking your head around the door.
He’s stood at his desk, raking a hand through his hair, top button of his shirt undone. Tie sitting loose around his collar. He spots you and gives an apologetic smile.
You comin’? you mouth.
Joel points to his phone. Some panicked voice fills the silence between you both.
“…so I gave the two of ‘em a tellin’; they shouldn’t make any more purchase orders without my permission. Without your permission, Joel, I mean…And about last month’s sales, too…”
You step over to his desk, slow, suspicious. Mischief on your mind.
“Sorry, baby,” he whispers, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.
You cock your head, brows furrowing. You’d been looking forward to lunch with Joel all day; something to take his mind off the meeting this morning.
Martha had called his favorite restaurant, they’d told her they had no space, she’d mentioned it was for Mr. Miller, and a table had magically opened up. Then you’d encouraged her to ask Deb, knowing she’d inevitably ask James, her admin assistant, and, before you knew it, your small lunch was a party of five.
Worked for you. You and Joel would probably be too caught up in each other’s company to notice the rest.
Except, the way things are looking, Joel isn’t getting off this call anytime soon. Soon meaning within the next thirty seconds, given the reservation is in ten minutes.
You’re growing desperate. Running out of time, knowing if you don’t do something to shut this guy the fuck up, your little daydream of sitting side by side with Joel, so close you can feel the heat off of him, feel his chest vibrate when he talks, maybe even feel his hand trailing up your thigh…won’t come true.
“What if you just…” Your fingers walk along Joel’s desktop, heading for his phone. “…lost…connection…?”
He doesn’t say a word, but the smirk that forms across his lips grants you all the permission you need. Your fingers clutch the receiver, lifting it barely an inch, then drop it back into its cradle. The panicked voice cuts.
“Oops.” You shrug, straightening up in front of Joel.
“Oops,” he repeats, wrapping his strong arms around your shoulders and pulling you into him again. You lift your jaw to kiss him only quickly, before you’re pushing yourself off of his chest and dragging him away from his desk.
“Sorry, Ken!” you call as Joel yanks the door open, the pair of you laughing like schoolkids.
You meet the others outside the building, huddled together at the bottom of the concrete steps. Deb puts her cigarette out on top of a trashcan when you both approach.
“Well, we thought you weren’t comin’,” she utters to Joel.
He lifts his eyebrows in response, hands slipping into his pockets, and glances around the group. “We goin’?”
“Waiting for your driver, Mr. CEO.” Martha winks.
“Aha,” Joel replies, face unmoving, “funny.”
“It’s, like, two blocks, we can walk,” you say, setting off down the street. Joel’s quick to follow, strolling at your side, but there’s a chorus of groans from the rest of your party. “Come on!” you yell over your shoulder.
“We’re supposed to be dining with the head of the fuckin’ company!” Martha cries, and Deb cackles.
“I gotta live like the rest of y’all sometimes,” Joel shrugs, walking backward, “keeps my feet rooted, doesn’t it?”
“I hate you,” you mutter, and he knocks into your shoulder with his own.
The Courtyard is bright, modern, and…beige. It’s only Joel’s favorite because it was a buddy of his from grad school who opened it, but you’re the only person he’s entrusted with that information. It’s decent food – they do a great chicken risotto – and it is always busy, so Drew must be doing alright with it.
You walk under a fake ivy plant covering the entrance, past twinkling fairy lights and to a rustic wooden reception area. Some hyper server comes bounding over and introduces himself as Jake, before Martha gives the name of the reservation and he batters it into a keyboard.
“Lopez?” you ask Martha, screwing your face up.
“Yeah. Comma Jennifer. I like to make it exciting.”
“If you wanted exciting, go for Beyoncé, or something. Lopez?”
“You really think Beyoncé is gonna come eat here?”
“You really think Jennifer Lopez is?”
She bats you away, turning her attention to Deb, who finds the JLo joke hilarious. When Jake springs off, beckoning you all to follow him, Joel leans in close to you.
“She used to use Pamela Anderson. Glad she’s evolved a little.”
You snort and follow Jake toward the same table Joel always sits at: the very back of the restaurant, quieter, separated by screens of more fake greenery. Windows looking out over the busy streets. Bare lightbulbs hanging from unnecessarily long wires over the tables.
Joel pulls your chair out for you and slots in beside you, on your right. Martha, Deb, and James – who hasn’t said or done much more than chortle at anything Joel’s said – sit opposite. Jake borderline frisbees the menus at you guys and tells you to give him a shout when you’re ready to order.
You turn to Joel who shakes his head, hand cupping his chin.
The five of you scan down the menus – at least, you, Joel and Martha pretend to. You’ve been coming here regularly enough for long enough that you know what you’ll inevitably end up ordering. James is asking Deb if the steak might fill him up too much before his squash practice later on tonight when you feel a familiar heat on your leg, and look past your menu to see Joel’s hand curving around your thigh.
You hold back a smile, pretending to be really into the laminated sheet in your hands. So long as he keeps it PG, and James keeps rabbiting on about squash being good for your hand-eye co-ordination, this is fine. This is…enjoyable.
This is exactly what you fucking wanted, when you organized lunch.
But when Jake returns to collect the menus under his arm then scurries back off, and Martha and Deb start discussing some TV show they’re both hooked on, Joel’s hand begins to rake higher. Taking the hem of your skirt with it. You suck in a deep breath, pretending to watch the two women and trying your best to listen to the words they’re saying, but he’s getting dangerously close to your–
“You ever try squash, Joel?”
“Huh?” Joel’s hand halts instantly. You exhale.
James is sitting forward, elbows on the table, nodding with a perfectly innocent smile on his face. “Squash. Yeah. I play every Friday evening, straight after work. It’s fantastic for shakin’ off that week-long stress, y’know? Not that workin’ here is a stress, but sometimes it can build up, sometimes you just need something to…” He balls his fists and jerks them, gritting his teeth.
You choke on a laugh and play it off as a cough.
Joel shifts a little in his seat, his palm still clamped around the top of your thigh. “Never played squash. More of a golfing guy.”
“That what you’re gonna do this weekend? Burn off all that stress you’ve had with a round of golf?” you ask Joel, lips almost trembling with the effort it’s taking you not to burst out laughing.
“Not what I had in mind, naw,” he almost spits back.
“Well, if you ever wanna try it, you know who to call. Squash, I mean. I mean – sorry, I don’t mean call squash. I mean call me. To try squash. You won’t find a better stress reliever.”
“Thanks, James,” Joel mutters, fingers fumbling with the cutlery on the table in front of him.
You could fucking burst. No better stress reliever than squash, right Joel? Nothing like it. Not even the one sitting next to you, her thigh under your grasp. Nope.
You’re thankful when Martha calls your name and averts your attention.
“You have got to watch it. I reckon she’d really love it, right?”
Deb nods eagerly.
“What’s that?” you ask.
They both start chirping away, describing the plot of some mystery thriller. It’s hard to keep up, what with them both speaking over one another, deciding which parts are safe to tell you and No, we can’t tell her that, that’s a spoiler, which actors are in it and how many episodes it took for them to really get into it.
Not to mention Joel’s hand, which has resumed its climb up your leg.
“There are three seasons,” Martha says, finger drawing shapes on her placemat, “and do not go lookin’ online for anything, because at the end of season two, there’s a massive death, and…”
Your thighs are bare again, skirt rolled up and held at the top of your legs by Joel’s wrist. He’s squeezing as he goes, massaging, driving you fucking insane as he adds more and more pressure. Still, your legs part for him the higher he goes.
“W-what– where can I watch it?” you ask, your eyes closing over as Joel’s fingers loosen their grip.
Deb says something, but it’s muffled. Drowned out by the ringing in your ears. Joel’s right hand sits under his chin, elbow propped on the table as if he’s musing over the weather or considering what to do with his weekend.
His left moves swiftly over to run along the elastic of your panties. Sift his thumb down below them. Fingers drop to cup you over the lace fabric. Suddenly, you’re sitting upright, your arms propping on the table, then falling to your lap, then one elbow up, then both down again.
What the fuck– how the fuck do you make this look casual? Being touched by your boss at lunch, with three colleagues sat opposite you?
Joel seems to be enjoying watching you squirm. You hear him breathe a laugh into his hand, and then his fingers begin to travel even further south, moving your panties to the side to sift through your folds.
Which are, regrettably, fucking soaked.
“Hm,” you hear Joel hum, and you can’t look at him. Knowing he’s found exactly what he was looking for. Knowing he’s achieved exactly what he set out to do.
You sit stunned, staying completely still for fear you might draw attention from your company. But then he’s dipping a finger in, pushing deep inside you, and your jaw falls loose, a silent moan escaping in the form of a sigh.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Martha addresses you and Joel, “as requested, flights organized. You leave for Paris next Friday morning, fly home Monday afternoon.”
“Yep,” you reply, shuddering slightly. “Sounds good.”
You’re not fucking listening to a word she’s saying.
“Thanks, Martha,” Joel says, as casual as if he were telling her the time. Almost bored.
You drop your hand and it clamps around Joel’s wrist; you’re sure you’re scratching him, but you don’t care. Not only does he deserve it, but it’s all you can do to stop yourself from screaming out when he inserts a second finger.
The stretch is too much; he’s all the way in down to his knuckles, curling and then uncurling his fingers deep inside you. Your hips are slowly circling by instinct, rutting against his hand as it fucks you, sending fluttery waves of pleasure all over your body.
You ball up your fist, nails digging half-moons into the skin of your palm, attempting to fight the tidal wave fast approaching as Joel’s fingers snap harder into you, a third beckoning your orgasm nearer and nearer.
You’re there – right where he wants you, almost throwing your head back with the feeling he’s giving you. And then you make the mistake of looking at him, catching that ever so Joel smile when, shielded from the others by his hand, he breathes, “There’s my girl.”
It’s the last push. The last fucking shove.
Your walls clamp around his fist, your entire body screams, a scream that forcibly dies out in your throat as you lean forward and –
You slam your fist down on the tabletop, the sudden jolt of cutlery and glass making the three opposite you jump.
“Are you– what’s wrong?” Martha asks, leaning closer.
“Cr– fuck– cramp,” you mumble, eyes screwed shut, hand still gripping Joel’s wrist. He slowly drags his soaked fingers out of your tight cunt, casually maneuvering his arm back where it belongs whilst the table’s attention is still on your head and shoulders.
“Cramp?”
“My – fucking – leg. I’ll be – right back.” You’re almost hyperventilating as you shakily stand, shoving your chair back with your legs only for it to be caught by the hand Joel had inside you seconds before.
You waddle off to the front of the restaurant, nearly breaking out into a run when you reach the hallway leading to the restrooms. The door to the ladies room bursts open and you throw yourself against a sink, gripping onto the ceramic, chest heaving, shoulders hunched. Your cunt is still throbbing, waves of your orgasm slowly losing power and retreating.
You wave your hand under the faucet and cold water automatically flows, filling your cupped hands, cooling your blood, cooling your skin when you dab it onto your cheeks. You sigh with relief, leaning against the sink, catching pathetic glimpses of yourself in the mirror.
And then, the door pushes open. And his silhouette sneaks inside. He leans back against the wall, hands in his pockets. Face with a smirk you want to slap off of him.
“How’s the cramp?”
“Are you fucking–” You flick your hands toward him, splashing him with water as he throws an arm up to dodge it, laughing. That fucking laugh.
He wanders around you, looking your shaking body up and down, and comes to a halt with his chest against your back. His chin leans into your shoulder, and you look at each other in the mirror.
It takes everything in you to fight the smile growing on your lips, but when Joel mirrors it, you can’t help it.
“Fucker,” you whisper, and he kisses your shoulder. You lean back into him, ass pressing against him, feeling something you already suspected would be there.
“Feel what you did to me?” he asks, voice muffled into the cotton of your shirt.
“Mhm,” you reply, and you drop your hand to take the outline of him through his pants.
“You wanna fix it for me?”
Your head rolls back against his shoulder, smutty grin melting across your face. “Yeah, daddy.”
“Good girl,” he tells you, lips dragging across your neck, hands at his belt.
Your fingers clutch your skirt, still hiked halfway up your thighs, and pull it further. Joel’s hands replace yours on your hips and he shoves his pants apart, lining his bulge up with your core. Then his palm is at the bottom of your back, pushing you forward into position. Your knuckles whiten around the ceramic sink.
“Fuck,” you whisper when you feel his tip at your entrance. You’re already soaked through, no need for him to take his time. Not that you have time, anyway, with three coworkers out front waiting for the two of you.
Joel thrusts forward, entering you in one go, filling you up so fast you nearly double over. He keeps a tight grip on your hips, dragging you up and down the top of his cock a few times before slamming all the way into you again, eliciting a cry from your lips.
“Quiet, babygirl,” he says, low, dangerous. “Just gettin’ you warmed up.”
“Your hand wasn’t enough of a warmup?” you throw over your shoulder, and he takes your arms and pulls you flush against him.
“You gonna run that pretty mouth the entire time we’re in here, or you gonna let me fuck you?” he breathes around the shell of your ear.
“Both.”
You bite back a whimper when his hips buck into you painfully. A telling: don’t start.
Joel establishes a pace quick enough, both of you aware you can’t take too long in here. His grunts match the rate his body snaps against yours, your panting matches the rate you bounce up and down on him.
You’re watching the sight reflected in the mirror: Joel hooked around your shoulder, lips against your ear, whispering praises and filth, and you, leaning back against him, rutting on his hard cock with a thick smile on your lips.
“Daddy…” you whine, and Joel’s vice grip tightens even more.
“Good girl,” he pants, “so fuckin’ good for me.”
It’s not long before that heat is swirling around your core again, sparks of lightning jolting through the whirlwind of pleasure Joel’s hips create between yours. You take a hold of his arms for stability as you begin to feel your orgasm crest the horizon, knowing by the sounds he’s making in your ear that Joel isn’t far off, either.
“Cum in me,” you whimper, watching for his reaction in the mirror.
He pulls a face that’s almost…defeated. Groans like you’ve given him an impossible problem to solve.
You plead with your eyes. “Cum – in – me.”
It’s like you’re pressing on the weakest part of a porcelain vase; daring it to break. Daring it to fall apart. Joel knows he shouldn’t, knows it’s more sensible not to. But the way you look, body against his, whining and whimpering and fucking smiling right back at him – the way you feel, so warm and wet, squeezing him so tight he’s surprised he’s even lasted this long…
He can’t fucking help himself.
He moans and his hands clamp on your waist, forcing you forward as he ruts into you once, twice, three times before he’s twitching deep inside, warm seed spilling out and coating your walls. Your release floods over you, then, too, your head falling forward as your legs give for a few seconds, Joel’s grip the only thing keeping you upright.
Stars in your eyes, you pull the strength to lift your head and look at your reflection; Joel behind you, face to the ceiling as he slowly stills between your legs.
Your cunt throbs, and you move your hips back and forth gently, drawing a noise from Joel that you wish you could never stop hearing.
“Baby,” he lulls, looking down to watch as your dripping cunt rocks back and forth, taking him all and then letting him go again.
It’s a minute or so before you both return to reality. Bodies still connected, Joel places a steady kiss to your cheek. You lean into him, turning to place your lips against his. You’re both hot, sweaty, it’s probably pretty noticeable you just fucked.
And you don’t care.
Joel slips out of you and backs up, letting you fix yourself in the mirror as he stuffs himself back into his pants.
“You think you can walk back to the office?” he asks, smirking.
“Call Rand,” you reply, and his head tips back in a laugh.
He nods toward the door and the pair of you slip out discreetly, you first to check the coast is clear, and Joel right behind. You walk along the hallway, heels clicking, like you’ve just come across each other right outside the restrooms.
“Hey, Joel,” a voice says from behind you both as you wander past the bar.
“Drew,” Joel replies, and shakes the hand of a tall blonde guy in all black. His t-shirt’s so tight you can make out his pecs underneath it.
“How’s it goin’? You been in long?”
“Just waitin’ for our food,” Joel says, “it’s probably out by now.” He glances over at you and your legs clench subconsciously. He introduces you then, says, “My assistant. Best assistant I could ask for,” and your lungs close up.
Drew shakes your hand and then turns back to Joel. “Don’t go without catchin’ me, ain’t lettin’ you pay a thing. How’s business?”
Joel nods. “Good, good. We’re, uh, we’re heading out to Europe next week, so.”
“Jean-Marc?”
“Yep.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah. Place is lookin’ good, same as always.” Joel glances around, pointing randomly to the light fixture above your heads.
Drew does that thing men do when trapped in a dry conversation: folds his arms, looks to the floor, and nods some more. Waiting for Joel to say —
“Alright, well. Great seein’ you again. Thanks for lunch.”
He puts an arm around your back and guides you off back to the table.
“Nice meetin’ you.” You smile at Drew as you pass and he returns it, turning back to the bar.
Once you’re out of earshot, you look over to Joel.
“Something going on there?”
“Huh?”
You scoff. “You two couldn’t wait to be away from each other. Why’d you always come here if it’s so awkward?”
“Well, if I see ‘im, I get free food.”
You slap his arm as he pulls your chair back out for you.
“Feelin’ better?” Deb asks, pushing French fries around her plate.
You nod, pulling your seat in beside Joel, who’s still laughing at himself. As you settle, you feel the warmth he left behind spill out of you a little, pooling in your underwear. And Joel seems to notice, whether from some sexual sixth sense he has when it comes to you, or just the way you awkwardly shift in your seat. He hands you a smug smirk, nudging you with his elbow.
You narrow your eyes at him and turn back to Martha.
“So, you were saying you fixed the flights for Paris?”
----------
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sprinkler-ashes · 7 months
Text
begin again // aaron hotchner x reader
begin again
aaron hotchner x fem!reader
description: in which there are five times that aaron hotchner restores your faith in love and one time where you restore his. inspired by begin again by taylor swift.
words: 6.1k
warnings: cursing, a touch of angst, hotch in a quarter zip and casual clothes (yes this requires a warning), fluff, hurt/comfort if you squint, reader has an awful ex (gn pronouns for ex), mentions of violence and injuries
a/n: i’ve been working on this all throughout the week every night at like 3 am running on, at best, 4 hours of sleep so i’m very sorry if there are grammar/spelling errors – i will edit soon. also i fear i’ve been watching too much dharma & greg, and this was the product. enjoy!
i've been spending the last eight months
thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
but on a wednesday in a cafe
i watched it begin again
One.
It was week one of your new job at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit when you knew with absolute certainty that as soon as you arrived back at the bureau, you were going to hand in your resignation.
You were sitting away from the rest of the team who all sat together, though a little cramped, and deep into discussion about something that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. They were talking normally as if everything they just witnessed over the last few days didn’t affect them.
You knew that you were new to this – it was your first week on the job. But you felt like you should be… happier than the way you currently felt. This was your dream job: one that you’ve spent years working towards. One that you gave everything up for, including your relationship.
However, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t worth it.
The team was very lovely. From the moment the case had begun, each one of them made an effort all throughout the trip to Missouri to make sure you were keeping up and doing okay. They’d even tried to get you to come over and chat with them when the flight started, but you lied and said you were tired.
Your head was leaning against the window, your eyes peering out to see nothing but blue skies and clouds. This was everything you’d ever wanted, so why did you feel the way you did?
A voice in the back of your head told you that your ex was right; you weren’t cut out for this. You were going to fail just like they always said you were going to – this was a mistake.
You couldn’t help but be on the verge of a breakdown with all the thoughts running through your head, but there was no way you could cry due to the presence of someone moving to sit in the seat in front of you. A part of you didn’t want to look up because you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t want to look him in the eyes, but, reluctantly, you did look up only seconds later.
BAU Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner was sitting in front of you with his usual gaze that made you feel slightly intimidated. He seemed to be good at everything he did – or at least everything you had seen him do. He was well-respected, a damn good profiler, and so put-together that it made you feel like a mess in comparison.
“Can I help you, sir?” You asked, attempting to mask the conflicted feelings in your voice.
He ignored your question. “You just finished your first case. I wanted to see how you were feeling. You and Reid really helped by figuring out the geographical profile.”
You should’ve known he would know. This was a plane full of profilers – they probably all knew.
“I’m good,” you lied with an attempted smile that never reached your eyes. “I’m glad we caught the guy; I’m just really exhausted.”
Aaron didn’t say anything as he obviously did not believe you with his eyes still watching you, presumably reading more about you in mere seconds than you even knew about yourself. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the chatter from the rest of the team filling the air.
“They’ve all been here for years,” he suddenly said. “It still affects them, but it gets easier.”
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” you told him, your voice cracking in the middle of your sentence. You shut your eyes, cutting off eye contact. You didn’t want to look at your boss after you basically just told him you can’t do your own job.
This is so embarrassing, you thought to yourself.
When you finally re-opened your eyes, Aaron was still watching you. He moved forward, crossing his arms and resting them on the table between the two of you. He was looking at you with what you almost would’ve called sympathy.
“You can do this,” he reassured you, making sure his voice couldn’t be heard by the rest of the team. “You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t. It’ll get better.”
The sheer honesty in his voice caused unshed tears to form in your eyes. No one had given you the affirmation you so desperately needed in a long time – not even your ex, who often said more unkind things than kind.
“What if it doesn’t?” You asked, blinking hard to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall.
“It will,” he said firmly, emphasizing his words. “Go home, rest, and come back for a new day tomorrow.” With that, he stood back up, straightened out the sleeves of his suit jacket, and looked at you one last time before walking back over to where he was originally sitting. “You did very well this week.”
Aaron said everything with so much sincerity that for the first time in a while, you felt a little bit better.
Two.
You didn’t end up quitting.
It had been a little over a month since you almost quit your job after the first week. Things still weren’t perfect, but you had gotten more used to being a profiler and had gotten to the point where going to work didn’t feel like such a chore.
You were now in a small North Dakota town on a case. It was the second week of December, and the heat was out at the inn you were staying at, which all of you had, unfortunately, found out when arriving back from the police department.
“I probably know the answer to this, but is there any way we could go somewhere else?” JJ asked as she stood by the door. “It’s freezing, Hotch.”
“Actually, in order for it to be freezing, it would need to be–”
“Reid, not now,” Derek cut him off.
Aaron looked up from the folder he was reading. “We can’t go anywhere else. This is the only place to stay in town, and it’s the only place that was approved and booked.”
“They said they will probably have it going again in under an hour. Maintenance is working on it now,” Rossi announced as he entered the room, stepping past JJ. “They apologized for the inconvenience.”
It was eleven at night, and everyone was in clothes they were sleeping in except for Aaron who still wore his suit, minus the tie and jacket. You didn’t know how he wasn’t freezing in only his white dress shirt. The rooms at the inn were relatively tiny, but the team had all managed to cram into Aaron’s room, who got one to himself this time. They’d all flocked to his room in an attempt to figure out if staying somewhere else was possible, except for you, who had already been there.
You were sitting on the couch in the room next to Aaron as you attempted to help him figure out how this particular unsub was kidnapping his victims. The couch was particularly small, leaving no room between you and him. The entire side of your thigh was pressed against his, warmth radiating off of him despite the cold room.
Aaron sighed, laying down the folder and running a hand across his temple. “I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands. Everyone, go back to bed. Hopefully the heat will be back on soon.”
“You coming?” Emily, your roommate for the duration of time you would be in North Dakota, asked as everyone filed out of the room.
You shook your head. “I’ll be there soon. I’m going to look over this one last time and see if there’s anything I missed.”
Emily told the both of you goodnight and left the room, leaving only you and Aaron still sitting together.
He made you very nervous. 
Aaron was older, extremely accomplished, more experienced in the job, and working with him alone was nerve-wracking. You’d proven yourself immensely in the short amount of time you had been a member of the BAU. Still – he was wonderful at everything. The idea of being wrong around him was terrifying.
As you continued to look through everything laid out in front of you, you couldn’t focus. It was so cold to the point where you couldn’t feel the tip of your nose anymore, and you were slightly shivering, crossing your arms in an attempt to warm up a little.
“Looks like I should’ve brought a winter coat to sleep in,” you attempted to joke.
The left corner of Aaron’s mouth tipped upward as he stood up and moved to the small closet. “It is pretty cold, isn’t it?”
Before you knew it, there was a brown blanket being draped across your shoulders.
It wasn’t very thick nor was it very comfortable. In fact, it felt a little scratchy to the touch as it brushed over your bare hands, but Aaron situated it until it was entirely wrapped around you while his body hovered over yours. You stopped breathing momentarily, your heart picking up its pace every time his hands scraped over your own arms. Even through your thick sweatshirt and the blanket, you could still feel his touch.
“Thanks,” you muttered. Your heart rate had gone back down to normal now that he was moving to sit again.
“I can’t have one of my agents going hypothermic,” he joked and gave you one of his rare smiles; the ones that were usually reserved for outside of work.
You weren’t blind – Aaron Hotchner was a gorgeous man, and you wouldn’t deny that just the scent of his very expensive cologne alone was enough to make you feel slightly dizzy.
However, that's all you thought. He was your boss, and you were dealing with a breakup that was still laying heavy on your heart and constantly consumed your thoughts.
But even after the heat started working only half an hour later, you didn’t remove the blanket and temporarily forgot about the person who broke your heart while you worked next to him.
Three.
It was six months into your job when you found yourself having one of the worst days ever.
You’d woken up late and to a text from a friend letting you know that the ex you’d been getting over for half a year was now social-media-official with the person they told you not to worry about, you spilled coffee all over your car and your white top resulting in you being even later for work as you had to go back to your apartment and change.
You were a stumbling mess when you finally made it to the conference room for the meeting that you were six minutes late for. All eyes were focused on you as you mumbled apologies and sat down while trying to listen to Aaron’s voice. It was some housekeeping things and maybe you should’ve listened, but your head was elsewhere.
The rest of the day did not go well either. Halfway through the day, you had managed to screw up the fax machine, trip over your own shoes, and give yourself not one but two paper cuts. All of it sounded like minor things – a paper cut shouldn’t have set you off so badly, but it really did.
By the end of the day, you wouldn’t have minded if the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. Once you did one more thing, you would finally be able to go home.
“Come in.”
Aaron’s office was a place that you had grown to not fear so much. In the beginning of your job, every time you had to go in, it almost felt like you were in middle school walking into the principal’s office as he sat there at his desk with a stoic stare and hardly any emotion in his voice.
“I got your email about needing to speak with me,” you told him, coming inside and shutting the door behind you. “What did you need?”
He looked up at you as you moved closer to his desk. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”
You frowned. “I thought you said in the email that you needed to speak with me about something important?”
Aaron nodded as if it was no big deal. “You’ve been acting off all day. How you feel is an important thing – even if you think it isn’t. So, are you okay?”
Your heart broke at his kindness. He was always nice to you, maybe nicer than he should’ve been, but calling you into his office just to make sure you were okay after a bad day made you wonder why no one else had ever cared about your feelings like this.
“I’m okay,” you told him. “It’s just been a terrible day.”
Still sitting at his desk with his full attention on you, Aaron asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
You wouldn't lie – you did think about his proposal for a moment. There weren't many people for you to talk to. You had friends, but not many in Quantico other than your co-workers. You’d moved alone without knowing anyone, and you worked so much that there was rarely time for you to go out and meet new people.
But Aaron was a busy man. He was probably just offering to be polite – there was no way he cared that much to hear about your miniscule problems when his job was as hectic and busy as it was.
“No, Hotch, I don’t want to keep you here any longer–”
He cut you off. “I’m already here; it doesn’t matter. You can talk to me. I’ve been rather concerned about you.”
At that moment, you couldn’t come up with an excuse as to why the idea of him thinking about you was enough to make your heart flutter.
“It’s… it’s stupid,” you started, taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. “I had a bad breakup right before I moved to Quantico. My ex didn't really care when I went to the Academy, but they exploded when I told them how I finally got this job. It was constant fighting before they gave me an ultimatum: them or taking the job.”
“And you chose the job?”
You laughed, feeling a little pathetic. “No, at first, I didn’t. They really got it stuck in my head that I wasn’t good enough to do this. I was going to turn it down and stay, but I changed my mind last minute. I found out this morning they’re now with someone else. Then, I was late, I fucked up the fax machine, and I got a couple paper cuts. It’s nothing, really – it was just a bad day.”
Aaron moved around in his seat, leaning back a little and crossing his arms. “It isn’t nothing if it bothers you.”
“I didn’t know you were a therapist,” you tried to joke, squirming awkwardly in your seat. You were already feeling vulnerable and the way he was looking at you wasn’t helping.
“Only part-time,” he said. “Don’t tell anyone – someone may think I have emotions.”
His face was completely stoic when he said it, but as soon as you started to laugh, he joined in.
“Really, though, I’m okay – just exhausted. I think the universe just hates me right now.” You stood up to leave. “I want to beat the rush hour traffic, so I should head out, but thanks for checking on me.”
He nodded in acknowledgement and you were on your way out while thinking the interaction was over, when he called out your name.
You stopped, hand still grasping the door you were about to open. “Yeah?”
“It’s their loss.”
A frown appeared on your face. “What do you mean?”
“Your ex,” he explained. “You shouldn’t lose sleep over someone who doesn’t know how lovely you are.”
Lovely.
You’d been called a lot of things in your life, probably even some adjectives better than lovely, but the way it just rolled out of Aaron’s mouth as if it was a casual, every-day-like occurrence made you feel warm.
Aaron Hotchner thought you were lovely and knowing that kept a smile on your face for days after while the wounds that had been given to you by someone else slowly healed.
Four.
After a year of working with the BAU, you ended up with your first unsub-related injury.
You thought going to the hospital was pointless because you truly felt fine, but both Derek and JJ argued relentlessly for you to go due to the nasty gash on your head. Unfortunately, you were outnumbered and sent to the hospital for an evaluation after the unsub you were after thought it was okay to slam you on the ground a little too hard, resulting in a blow to your head when you went down and hit the concrete.
JJ rode with you to the hospital in the ambulance that you, very much, did not think was necessary. After seeing a doctor, it was determined that you had a concussion. With a thick bandage on your wound and a drive home from JJ who gave you strict rules on taking care of yourself while you healed like the mother she was, you were finally alone in the comfort of your apartment after a long day spent in Manassas – the location of the latest case.
Now that the adrenaline had worn off, you were starting to feel the symptoms and the sound of knocking on your door felt like nails being drilled into your head.
However, the person standing on the other side when you opened the door made your head spin faster than the concussion did.
Aaron was standing on the other side of the door, one hand holding a brown paper bag with a look of worry on his face. He was dressed casually in a navy blue sweatshirt and jeans, nose slightly red from where he had walked through the cold November air to get inside your apartment building.
In other words, he looked very good. It was hard to not grab and kiss him.
You’d developed somewhat of an attraction for your boss since that fateful day in his office. Not that you hadn’t been attracted to him before, but it now felt more like a serious affection and not some small crush – the first time you felt this way about anyone in a long time.
“Hi,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another upon seeing you. “How are you?” He paused after his eyes glanced at the very obvious bandage on your forehead. “Wait, I don’t think that’s an appropriate question right now. I’m sorry.”
You giggled despite the throbbing in your temple, moving to let him into your apartment. “I’m as good as I can be right now. Come on in.”
He walked into your apartment, following you into the kitchen after you shut the door and locked it. Aaron had only been to your apartment once after giving you a ride home from work, but this was the first time he’d ever been inside.
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” He asked while you got a glass of water.
You nodded slightly, careful to cause any more pain. “Probably, but I can’t get any rest until my medicine kicks in and my head doesn’t feel like it’s about to bust.”
Aaron winced. “I tried to come to the hospital, but JJ had already taken you home by the time I got there, so I came here. I apologize for coming unannounced and so late, but I had to make sure you were okay.”
“You do that a lot,” you told him, leaning against one of the counters in the kitchen. “Making sure I’m okay.”
“I happen to care about you a lot.”
Hiding your smile behind the glass of water, you took a sip before focusing your attention back on the bag he brought with him. “What’s in the bag?”
It seemed as though he had forgotten he was still holding something. He raised it up and held it out to you, an almost-shy look dancing across his face that you’d never seen before on him. “I, um, made a stop at the store for you on my way over. It’s just over-the-counter medicine, extra bandages, and a couple snacks that I know you like. I figured it might help you out since you can’t drive for the next two days.”
You couldn’t stop the grin that appeared on your face. It was almost as if every time you thought Aaron couldn’t get any more perfect, he would prove you wrong.
He continued as he sat the bag down on the counter next to you. “I also wanted to tell you that Strauss said take all the time you need to recover.”
You gave him a quizzical look. “She did?”
There was only silence between the two of you as you looked at each other until he shrugged. “Well, I told her that you’re going to be taking all the time off that you need, and she didn’t really say anything so take all the time you need.”
“It’s just a concussion,” you told him. “I’ll be back to work soon.”
“A concussion is a serious thing,” Aaron said with a frown, not liking the way you brushed the injury off as nothing. “I’m glad you’re okay. Morgan said you hit the ground pretty hard before he cuffed the guy.”
You took another sip of your water before sitting it down. “I’m alive and well – Derek was just worried.”
As much as you were enjoying the feeling of talking with Aaron in your kitchen, the heaviness you felt in your eyes reminded you that it was nearly midnight, and you’d had a long day. The yawn that escaped your mouth didn’t go unnoticed.
“I should go and let you get some rest.”
You really didn’t want him to go. There weren't many other opportunities where you would get Aaron in your apartment like this. It felt oddly domestic, and you hated the fact that you loved it so much. But he was right – you did need the rest.
“Thank you again for stopping by,” you told him as the two of you walked the short distance back to the front door. “And for all the stuff you bought. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” he said, his hand lingering on the door knob. “If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”
He was opening the door before you called out, “Wait,” your mind flooded with déjà vu from the time he stopped you on your way out of his office.
Aaron paused and turned to look back at you. His body hadn’t left the room yet, but the door was slightly ajar where he opened it. 
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you walked over to him and threw your arms around his broad torso engulfed in the softest sweatshirt you’d ever felt.
“Thank you,” you softly said. “Not just for tonight, but for, well, just caring about me.”
He didn’t waste a second reciprocating the hug as he wrapped his arms around you even tighter, careful not to get near the bandage on your forehead and further hurt you. He was like a human heater – warm, tall, and you fit perfectly against him.
One hug from Aaron was like a band-aid healing any problem you had – even the external ones. Maybe this was what the placebo effect felt like and if this was it, you wanted it over and over again.
“Of course,” he muttered, arms still locked around you as if he needed this more than you did.
When you finally parted, his cheeks were dusted with a slight red shade as he wore one of his grins that you’d grown to love and receive more often. “Goodnight.”
Even though you had a raging headache and a painful cut on your temple, it had nothing on the big smile you kept on your face even as you drifted off into sleep that night still feeling warm and giddy.
Five.
It had been almost two months since you hugged Aaron in your apartment.
Since that night, something changed in the relationship between the two of you. You couldn’t really place your finger on what had changed, but there was a shift. Tension was thick – not in a bad way but in a way where you wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him to you any time you were alone.
You also had the feeling that he felt the same way. Aaron had been a profiler for many more years than you had been, but you liked to think you were good at your job. You could read him and from the way his eyes watched you, you could tell he was feeling the same tension in the air.
It was New Year’s Eve, and David Rossi had, after a lot of pleading from Penelope, agreed to host a small get-together for the team plus family including Will, Henry, and Jack – the latter two were currently running around the, very expensive, house, which was driving Dave insane as kept watch to make sure nothing got damaged due to the kids.
You were standing outside in the backyard, the late-December air hitting your face as you glanced down at your phone that told you it was almost midnight.
When you thought back to who you were around this time last year –  a woman in a new city with a demanding job and hardly any friends, still crying yourself to sleep over someone who didn’t deserve your tears – it made you want to smile.
It had been a little over a year since you started working at the BAU and as you glanced inside through the large glass doors, you felt like you belonged. There was no more doubt, no more tears, and no more days where you wanted to run away.
“What are you doing out here? You’ll freeze to death.” You turned around to find Aaron closing one of the glass doors and moving towards you.
He was wearing a black quarter zip and jeans – a casual outfit but one of your favorites. For reasons that you couldn’t understand, Aaron Hotchner in a quarter zip made you feel things.
“I came out here because it’s cold,” you told Aaron, leaning against a railing and crossing your sweater-covered arms. “It’s so hot and stuffy in there. It’s like Rossi is trying to burn us all alive.”
Aaron laughed and walked over next to you. He leaned against the railing, his arm brushing against yours. “He does keep his house pretty hot.”
“Is Jack having a good time?”
Jack Hotchner was probably your favorite kid you’d ever met. He was a total sweetheart, and you instantly got along with him from the first day you met him.
You didn’t miss the way Aaron’s face lit up a little as you mentioned his son. “Yes, I think so. He’s a big fan of celebrating the New Year because he gets to stay up late.” You then watched his face fall a bit. “He’s been missing his mom a lot lately, so coming here tonight – it’s good for him.”
You knew of Aaron’s ex-wife who had died before you joined the team, and you knew the terrible way that it happened. You’d also heard that it greatly affected Jack and Aaron, even though he hid it more than he should’ve.
“It must be hard on him, but I’m glad he’s having a good time tonight.”
Aaron smiled. “He loves the team, but I think you’re his favorite.”
You grinned. “No way! I’m honored.”
A comfortable silence grew between the two of you with no sounds other than distinct chatter and laughs from inside of the house. You glanced over to Aaron who was pulling out his phone.
“Eleven fifty-eight,” he said. “You want to head back inside and watch the ball drop?”
You almost said yes at first because you actually did want to see the ball drop, but you also wanted a moment alone with Aaron considering you rarely got them in a setting outside of work. Maybe you were being selfish, but you didn’t care – a few more minutes with him wouldn’t hurt. “I think I’m going to stay out here.”
He didn’t say anything. Aaron kept his phone out so the two of you could keep an eye on the clock app, its tiny, orange hand moving around the twelve, now signalizing that it was eleven fifty-nine.
Your eyes kept watch on the clock as it got closer to passing twelve again. You were starting to get nervous. A part of you expected Aaron to go inside after you told him you weren’t going back in – it wasn’t like he was obligated to stay out in the cold with you.
However, he never went back inside and as the clock kept getting closer to midnight, only seconds away now, you wondered if he was thinking the same thing you were: the traditional New Year’s kiss.
You discretely searched for any sign on his face that gave away if he was going to kiss you or not. You so desperately wanted it but if he wasn’t thinking the same thing, there was no way you were going to embarrass yourself by trying to kiss him.
Ten.
Still no sign – you were starting to panic a little.
Nine.
What were you supposed to do?
Eight.
Would he rather have a handshake? He did have a pretty firm grip.
Seven.
No, screw a handshake. Who gives someone a handshake at midnight on New Year’s?
Six.
He put down his phone and was starting to turn toward you.
Five.
Was he actually going to kiss you?
Four.
“Forgive me if I’m reading this wrong, but can I kiss you?”
Three.
You couldn’t form words, only a nod, eyes slightly widened.
Two.
He was moving his hand up to your cheek and, oh dear, this was actually going to happen.
One.
Aaron’s lips were warm against yours, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever been kissed with so much delicacy. He was gentle and respectful. Your hands pressed against his chest before you finally moved them up to the nape of his neck under the collar of the quarter zip you loved so much, pulling him even closer to you.
You felt secure and safe pressed up tightly against him with one hand of his cupping your jaw as the other rested firmly on your lower back. Your mouth was opening up before you could even stop it. Aaron smiled against your lips as he felt it before he deepened the kiss.
 This time, he was kissing you much more firmly and with the feeling of his tongue moving against yours, you couldn’t remember the last time, or if ever, you felt the way you did. His hand pressed even harder against your back, making you inhale sharply during the kiss.
There was a time in your life when you thought you would never find someone else – that maybe you were destined to be alone all because of one person who didn’t see your worth, but Aaron made all the pain go away to the point where you hadn’t thought of the person who hurt you in months.
Aaron made you feel like you were floating all the time. He reminded you of your worth instead of breaking you down. He was a man who did both the small things like throwing a blanket around your cold body and the big things like bringing you snacks and medicine after a hit to the head – the definition of “if he wanted to, he would” in the best way possible.
“Hey! You guys missed the – holy shit!”
You flung yourself off Aaron and looked behind him to see Emily standing there, her mouth wide open. You’d never seen her utterly speechless like she was at the moment. She opened and closed her mouth for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of you before she finally found something to say.
 “Morgan and Reid owe me fifty bucks.”
(+) One.
It was three months into Aaron Hotchner’s relationship with you when he knew with absolute certainty that he loved you.
His job was difficult, and today was no different but instead of shaking it off before going home, he couldn’t help but feel a cloud of emotion follow him all the way back home to his apartment.
He knew that you were waiting on him because the two of you were supposed to have dinner. You’d gotten to leave at a reasonable time and not, he glanced down at his watch, at nine at night. Aaron had a lot of duties and responsibilities as Unit Chief, but he sometimes wished he didn’t in order to come home at a normal hour.
Aaron saw you sitting on his couch as soon as he unlocked and opened his front door. You smiled sweetly as you looked over at him, no trace of frustration or anger at how late he was getting home.
“Everything go okay with those reports? I know Strauss was giving you a hard time,” You said as you glanced back down at your phone you were holding. When he didn’t answer, he saw you look back up at him again but this time with a frown on your face.
He knew the look he had on his face was giving him away, but he just couldn’t force himself to not feel the way that he was feeling.
You put your phone down on the coffee table and stood up to move in front of him. “Are you okay?”
“That’s usually my line to you,” he attempted a joke, but it never reached his eyes.
You responded with a half-smile. “Bad evening?”
Aaron nodded, not saying anything further. You moved closer as you wrapped your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry, honey,” he said, instantly feeling a little better just from your touch. “I missed dinner. I’m not the one who should be upset.”
You pulled back and rested both hands on each side of his face as he kept his situated on your waist. “Someone told me once that how you feel is an important thing even if you think it isn’t.”
He chuckled a bit. “Using my own words against me, huh?”
You cracked a smile. “It’s okay that you missed dinner. I know you had a rough and busy evening. Don’t worry about me. We can have dinner another night – it’s not a big deal that you couldn’t make it.”
You were looking at him so sincerely and touching him with so much care that he couldn’t help but pull you back in again, eyes closing at the feeling of another hug from you.
“Let’s go to bed,” you mumbled to him. “You look like you could go for an early night.”
Aaron wasn’t sure what he did to deserve someone as good as you – someone who cared for him even on days when he didn’t care for himself. You were kind, understanding, and patient. Sometimes he couldn’t even believe he was lucky enough to be with someone like you.
So while he wasn’t sure of how deserving he really was, he was one hundred percent sure of the fact that he loved you and your lovely self.
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being-addie · 1 year
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Sunday Resets
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Setting aside time for yourself is so important. I don't think people understand how vital it is to pay attention to your body and just take a day to let your body r-e-l-a-x. We're all so busy fighting to reach the top, that while climbing the corporate ladder, we lose ourselves somewhere along the way. Burnout, depression, and monotony come into play when we don't listen to our bodies telling us they need a break.
Once every two weeks or so, on a Sunday, I turn off all my notifications and have a day dedicated to me. Giving my body some TLC, resting and preparing for the next week. If I have plans on a Sunday, such as brunch or a meeting, I shift that day to Saturday, or at the very least, a day where I have at least 4-5 hours to spend leisurely.
Things I like to do on my Sunday resets:
Wake up early/sleep in: Depending on my mood, and how much sleep I've had during the week, I'll either be up at the crack of dawn or still in bed till it's nearly noon. There's no shame in staying in bed till 11:30 if you're particularly exhausted, but I recommend waking up at least before 11 AM because then you'll feel tired and groggy (of course, this doesn't apply to everyone)
Clean my room: I always make my bed without fail, and if my room is messy, then I'll clean it. Clean the vanity table, my desk, closet, art cupboard and bookshelf, and then the bathroom. If my mom needs help around the house, I do that too.
Food: I make myself a good breakfast, taking time to move around the kitchen and just breathe. I'm getting to eat good food, the sun is shining and I'm alive. It's great. Sometimes my dad cooks for the whole family and we just sit and eat together.
The Everything Shower: I take my Everything Shower on Sundays, where I wash my hair, deep condition, use a hair and face mask, exfoliate and do a face massage. I don't shave because I get my waxing done in a salon. I then slather myself in cocoa butter lotion and apply lip balm. Then do my hair routine (curly hair). It takes a few hours, but it's worth it.
The Next Week: I prep for the next week by cooking something I can take to my classes, like granola bars or homemade pita chips. I also sit down and plan my schedule (any dinners, meetings, parties, etc) and make a rough plan of my goals for the week, like assignments and deadlines.
Errands: I usually make a list of things I need to do during the week, like any specific separate groceries that I use, art supplies I'm low on, or needing to top up the air in my tyres. Then I go complete all of those in the afternoon.
Walks: In the evening, I take a walk around the block with a friend. I usually am too busy to do this during the week, so getting some fresh air is always a treat.
Relax: The rest of the evening is spent relaxing. I watch Netflix with my family, chat with my younger sister, read a novel/play the piano/write poetry. We have dinner together and then either watch a movie or just spend the time talking about our week, or the news. It's fun.
Double-check: Before I go to sleep, I make sure to double-check that my work is done, my bag is packed, clothes are folded and all my devices are charged. I'm in bed by 10:30 PM.
Remember that not all Sundays will be like this. Sometimes I'm extremely drained, so I'll sleep in, order food and just lay in bed recuperating. It's okay to take a rest day. This guide is if you want to be more productive, and it helps the week go smoother. Be the person who has their life in charge. You've got this.
<3
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footygirl114 · 8 months
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Enfermera (Leah Williamson X Reader)
Soooooo here's the long awaited Leah World Cup fic! I hope it was worth the wait, and please let me know what we think :)
Being a nurse was something you had dreamed of doing since you were a child, you never once wavered and worked your butt off to get where you are now. Almost 6 months ago you finally hit your goal of becoming the nurse in charge of the ER. It didn’t come without its consequences, when your girlfriend of 4 years was leading her team in a World cup and you couldn’t follow her across the world, that was the worst one. 
You had met Leah when she had brought in one of her teammates to your ER needing stitches after a team bonding session. You had spent the 20 minutes you were stitching up Beth’s forearm listening to the antics of the team, and also trying to subtly pick up on any signals that Leah was taken. 
Apparently you weren’t subtle, when they started to leave Beth held back and wrote Leah’s number on the chart with a wink confirming she was single. It took you less than 24 hours before you texted her asking her out and the rest was history. 
Your relationship took work, you both were fiercely independent and had goals of your own, but you loved her with every fibre of your being. She was the same which meant you both took the extra efforts to make it work. When you got to watch her lift the euro trophy your heart swelled with so much pride, and when she celebrated your promotion months later it felt like life couldn’t get any better.
When she was once again named captain to lead her team at the world cup you were overwhelmed with pride and confidence in your love. The downside is that you knew that with your promotion and job there was no way you could be there by her side. 
Which lead you to this moment, you were lying on your bed exhausted after a 12 hour shift still in your blue scrubs, eyes watching Leah put the final things into her suitcase before she would leave you for at least 6 weeks. 
“You going to sleep in your scrubs tonight?” She asks you with a smile looking up from her bag to meet your eyes. 
You shrug and respond “Maybe.” 
She chuckles at you and zips up her suitcase, moving it to lean against the bed. She smirks and moves toward you asking “will you miss me?” 
You shrug holding in a smile and respond “maybe.” 
Your eyes stay on hers as she moves to place one knee on the bed beside you asking “Maybe huh?” 
You bite your lip to hold your smile as you nod answering with another “maybe.” 
She smirks and before you have a chance to do anything she’s straddling your lap on the bed, her hand moving to grab yours and putting them above your head holding them down. She moves her other hand to your side lightly placing it on your side when she asks “One more time babe, are you going to miss me?” 
Biting your lip harder you shrug and say “maybe” again. 
Before you can react she’s tickling your side and you cant help but let out a loud laugh, trying to squirm away from her tickling fingers. She’s smiling at you and pauses asking again “Babe will you miss me?” 
You smile up at her, trying to catch your breathe from the laughing, and you look at her with a smirk and say “maybe not now.” 
She lets out a snort of laughter and resumes her assault on your stomach tickling you until you start laughing too. “I am going to ask you one more time babe” she starts moving to lean back a bit, letting your hands go she places both on your sides and says “will you miss me?” 
You bite your lip and move your hands to grab hers, puling her forward you whisper out “I already miss you” before you connect your lips with hers. She smiles into the kiss and presses her body weight down on you, you take the opportunity to wrap your arms around her neck, and you deepen the kiss. 
It’s barley started when you hear Leah’s phone ringing on the dresser. She pulls back and you let out a groan as she rolls off you and hops up to answer the phone. “Hi, yes I will be down in 5 minutes. Thank you” you listen to her conversation and watch her turn to her backpack making sure its all packed. 
She hangs up and turns back to you with a small smile and says “Sorry babe, My ride will be here shortly.”
You smile at her and move to sit up on the side of the bed as you ask “do you have everything?” 
“I do, I double checked the list you made me.” she smiles and leaves the room moving both her bags and backpack to the front door. 
Getting up you follow her out of the room to the door where she’s putting on her shoes. You move closer to her waiting for her to finish and once she does you step right up to her and wrap your arms around her. She wraps you right up and you tuck your face into her neck. 
“Im gonna miss you so much” you whisper into her neck pressing a kiss there when you finish. 
She presses a kiss to your head as she says “I’m going to miss you babe, but I am so proud of you.” 
You feel the tears start to gather in your eyes and you say “I cant wait till I get to kiss my world cup champion.”
She lets out a small laughs and pulls back from you, her hands go to your cheeks where she uses her thumbs to wipe your tears and she says “I love you so much Y/N”
“I love you too Leah” you respond and close the distance pressing your lips to hers one last time before she leaves. You take an extra moment in the kiss and you commit the feel and taste of your love to memory knowing deep down it will be 2 months before you see her. You believe in her and her team to win this thing. 
**
The first two weeks she’s gone are not too bad, Leah was still in the same time zone so you were able to talk quite often on the phone. You were busy at the hospital but knowing that you got to speak to her every night was worth it. Once the team went down under to get set up at their base camp it got harder to talk to her with the time change. 
You spoke as much as you could, but it was never enough. It took you less than a day to realise that the time change sucked, the 9 hour different made it hard to find time to talk. This was the only time you ever liked working the night shift. Being awake when she was awake made it better, but the downside was you were generally in charge of the floor which meant you were busier keeping an eye on multiple patients. 
Tonight, it had been a busy start to the shift but it was quieting down and when you realised it was lunch time in Australia you took the chance and asked her if she had a minute and when she answered quickly that she would be free in 5 minutes you took the chance. 
Quickly rounding on your patients, most were asleep and stable, and you saw a couple of the staff sitting around the nurses station you knew they’d have their eyes on them. 
Sneaking down the hallway to the medicine cupboard you looked both ways and then slowly opened the door enough for you to squeeze through and then you snuck through closing the door immediately. Not bothering with the lights as there was enough light streaming through the blinds to see you sunk down to the floor and pulled your knees up to your chest to lean on them. 
Leaning your head back against the wall you closed your eyes and tried to picture your bathtub at home leaning back against Leah after your shift. The vibrating of your phone shook you out of your daydream and you saw her face and immediately answered and you could feel the stress leaving your shoulders the moment you met her eyes. 
“Hi babe” she said with a smile “why are you in the dark?” 
You smile at her and answer with a soft “night shift and I am hiding out love.” 
she chuckles and turns her camera to show a closet as she says “who knew I would end up back in the closet.” 
You burst out laughing at her and when you settle you say “I love you” 
“I love you too, and I am missing you so much babe” she says with a small smile. 
“Our bed is so cold without you love” you tell her softly “but I am so freaking proud of you.” 
She smirks and says “I had a dream about you last night babe” 
You smirk back at her and say “Oh you did love? What were we doing?” 
“You were leaning back against me in the bath tub, sitting between my legs, I was pressing kisses up your neck, my heads rubbing your stomach” she smirks staring right at you. 
You smile and with a laugh say “I was just picturing the same thing love.” 
“yeah?” 
“Yes love, although mine was much more PG” you tell her with a chuckle. 
She bursts out laughing and when you see her face fall you know what’s coming “Kiera just texted me, I have to go babe.” 
You pout at her and then you hear yelling out in the hallway for a code and you shake out of it standing up “me too, I love you and I miss you so much.” 
You are already walking down the hall gearing up for the code and you look one more time at the phone to see her blowing you a kiss and you can hear “I love you too babe, go kick ass.” 
**
Once the tournament started you were so happy your hospital was a modernised one, which meant you had multiple tvs on the floor and in the waiting room. No one batted an eye when the women games were constantly playing. You tried your hardest to schedule your shifts so you could be at home watching but nursing shortages meant you only saw one live during the round robin. You did fall asleep to the replays of the game but it wasn’t the same. 
The constant texting with Leah kept you calm, but time changes, shift hours and training meant it often felt like you were ships passing in the night having distance conversations hours apart. As much as it sucked, you wouldn’t change it for the world. You were the proudest girlfriend getting to watch her achieve her dreams, even from a far you were so proud of her. 
during one of your days off you were out running errands and you looked up in the city and saw a billboard of Leah’s face staring back at you. Standing below it, looking up at a massive picture of your love made you even more proud knowing she would be inspiring many little girls. 
As you were standing there you watched as two little girls ran up both in England kits both looking up at your girl in awe. 
“Thats Leah, she’s the captain and my favourite.” the one said to the other. 
You stood back and listened with a smile as the other girl said “I want to be just like her when I grow up.” 
You smiled and grabbed your phone taking a picture from behind them of their backs under her picture. You send it directly to your girl with a message saying “I love you and I am so proud of you baby.” 
It was later that night when you were sitting in bed doing some research with her last game playing lowly on the tv. You had a shift in the morning but enjoyed a low key evening, and you were sat in your pjs, hair wet, with a glass of wine on the bedside table. 
When your phone vibrated with an incoming call from your love you smiled and answered with a “Good morning love” 
“Hi baby, every morning is a good morning when I hear your voice.” she says. 
You chuckle and feel the blush on your cheeks as you say “You charmer, I miss you.” 
“I miss you too baby, I snuck out and am sitting in the lobby talking to you before I have to get ready.” she tells you through the phone. 
“You’re cute love, im sitting in bed in my pjs with a glass of wine” you tell her with a smile. 
She lets out a groan and says “you tease thats not fair.” 
“Sorry love” you chuckle. 
“Laptop open doing work and something on the tv?” she asks knowingly. 
With a chuckle you respond “you know it love, did you get my pictures today?” 
“those girls were very cute, and that mural makes my butt look big.” she says with a small chuckle. 
“I am so proud of you, they looked at you like you hung the moon babe.” you tell her. 
You can hear her moving around knowing she’s a bit embarrassed she says “I only care that you think I can do that baby.” 
With a snort you answer her “You already have me love, you don't need to keep charming me” 
“I am offended, I am always going to charm you baby.” she says with a chuckle. “I have to go love.” 
“I should sleep, I have a shift in the morning.” you tell her back. 
You can hear the phone move as if she’s walking as she says “I love you so much baby.” 
“I love you too, and I am so proud of you.” you tell her. 
“Sleep well baby, I wish I was in bed with you.” she tells you. 
“me too love me too, talk soon babe” you tell her and you both hang up. You decide to take her advice and shut everything down. climbing into bed you grab her pillow and pull it close with the feint smell of her in your head you sleep right through the night. 
**
You made sure you were home for the semi final game, and you were so glad you got to see that one live. You didnt have to go into the following morning so you made sure to congratulate your love over face time. At the start of your shift the following morning you received a text from Beth telling you to get the final off cause she was making you come to the watch party at Wembley. You chuckled and made sure you had the day off, and let her know you would be there. 
Before you could text Leah to let her know about the watch party, your phones battery light came on and you groaned knowing you forgot to plug it in after the long face-time before you went to bed the night before. You moved towards the front nurses station where it was a controlled chaos, you weren’t too overrun yet but you had a feeling it was going to get busy. 
You walked up to one of the empty computers and grabbed an iPhone cord from the drawer where you plugged your phone into the usb on the computer. 
“Incoming trauma! 2 minutes out.” you hear yelled out and turn to your admin staff at the desk saying “This ones my phone, keep an eye on it.” as you run out to the ambulance bay and deal with the incoming trauma in front of you. 
Its about 45 minutes later when the patient was stable and you were able to move back toward the nursing station, jotting down the details from the trauma as you went. You leant abasing the nurses station completing the paperwork, when you noticed it seemed to already be getting busier. When you grabbed your phone it wouldn’t turn on, you were confused. When you clicked the computer and it also didn’t turn on you were even more confused. 
“What’s going on?” you ask one of your nursing staff beside you. 
“not sure, all the technology has gone down.” she responds. 
You take a slow look around and realise none of the computers beside the patients beds were on, and it immediately clicked for you. No machines meant no vitals, no monitoring and no airways. Immediately you turn and take control. 
“everyone, we need to get on this now. Manual checks on every single patients vitals, breathing, and meds need to be checked manually for a baseline then we need continuous checks on every patient until we can get the computers back on. Divide and conquer, students take the vitals and nurses get on the med checks now.” You instruct out to your staff who all follow. 
You next turn to your dispatcher and triage nurses and tell them “shut down to all incoming traumas, and anyone who does not have an immediate need for help, send them to the clinic down the street. This could last awhile but we need to make sure we can help who we can.” 
Its less than 20 minutes later and the ER has turned into an organised chaos, with no technology still on. Your phone was fried since it was connected to the system, but you had no time to check it as the main phone line rings and being the only one behind the nurses station you grab it. 
“London city ER” you say into the receiver. 
A scrambled voice responds “by now you realise that you have no technology. We have taken control and will not release control back until our demands are met.” 
“What? Who is this?” you ask. 
“100 million dollars into our offshore account that will be flashing on the screen in front of you now. Have it paid and we give you control back.” the voice then hangs up the phone. 
You could feel the colour drain from your face as you stand there with the receiver in your hand. It isn’t until you hear your name being called do you turn and see the ER director there looking at you. 
“we’ve been hijacked, they just said they want 100 million dollars to this account and we can have our technology back” you tell him. 
“Damn it, we need to control this. Is everything under control down here?” he asks. 
“yes sir, we have manual vitals being taken and we closed to trauma. We will clear the floor as quick as we can but till take time.” you tell him. 
“do it, keep me updated.” he says back and turns and starts talking on the phone. 
**
For the next 48 hours, the ER was in chaos and you did not leave, you barley had time to sleep, let alone worry about getting a new phone. Which meant that while you were elbow deep dealing with the situation at home, Leah was out of her mind with worry down under. 
She knew you were busy but she knew you could normally at least get 30 seconds to send her a text message, and when 48 hours went by and it was the morning of the final she knew something was wrong. 
“What if something bad happened?” Leah says to Georgia as they sit having breakfast together. 
Georgia who wasn’t worried at all chuckles and says “calm down dude she’s fine.” 
Before Leah could even respond she felt Kiera sitting down beside her saying “did you see the news Leah?” 
“no” 
“Look isn’t this Y/N’s hospital?” Kiera turns her phone towards Leah. Immediately Leah looks at the phone and grabs it from her hand and reads the article. 
“Cyber terrorism? isn’t that really bad?” Leah says after finishing reading. 
They both shake their head having read the article and Kiera says “No the article says it took some time but everyone is safe and no lives were lost, and the ER is back open for regular patients and trauma.” 
Leah smiles and the relief is evident on her face as she says “Oh thank god, I am sure she was just busy saving lives then.” 
“yes you dork, now focus on today and let’s win this thing.” Georgia chimes in. 
**
You were getting out of the cab at Wembley just in the nick of time, you had about 90 minutes before kick off and you wanted to make sure that you were able to find Beth. It was packed, you were glad you had an extra England kit in your locker at work, but unfortunately it wouldn’t be easy to find Beth in a crowd of this size. 
Figuring she’d be near the front you pushed your way through and you got lucky and spotted her in front of a camera with a microphone. You smiled and made your way closer to her waiting for her to be off camera. 
“Y/N!” you heard from behind you and you turned and saw Viv standing there with a smile. 
You chuckle out a “Hi Viv” and lean in to give her a hug. 
You both pull back and she asks “I heard what happened, that must have been crazy!” 
Nodding at her you add in “It was, this is the first time I have left in 48 hours.” 
“Y/N!” you hear yelled from behind you, and when you turn Beth is running over towards you with her phone out in front of her. She wraps an arm over your shoulders and turns her phone toward you so you can see the screen as she says “look who showed up!” 
When you look at the screen you see Leah, smiling back at you, standing on the field in Australia doing the pregame field check. You can feel the smile grow on your face as you say “Hi love” 
“Hi baby, I am so glad to see your face.” she says with a smile.
You chuckle as Beth presses a loud kiss to your cheek and says “I will give you two a moment” and takes off. 
“Are you okay babe?” you hear asked from the phone and you pull it closer to you. 
“I am now love, and I am ready to watch you kick ass and win this thing.” you tell her with a smile. 
“I love you” she says and you can see the smile on her face grow as she says “and I am so proud of you, and what I know you did to make sure all your patients were taken care of.” 
You can feel the blush on your cheeks moving the phone slightly as you say “thank you. Now can you focus and go out and become more world champion?” 
“Are you wearing my jersey babe?” she asks with a smirk. 
You nod and show her the back of it with her name on display adding “you bet I am.” 
“Let’s make a deal babe.” she says. 
Pulling the screen back in you tell her “let’s hear it.” 
“I am going to go win this thing, then I am going to make that name yours too.” she says with a smirk. 
“deal baby, but I expect a proper proposal” you smirk back at her. 
She blows you a kiss through the screen and chimes in “deal, but I gotta go do my thing, but I will be seeing you and kissing you very soon baby.” 
“i love you, now go kick ass and then get that cute butt home to me love.” you smile and blow her a kiss back. 
She presses a kiss to the camera screen and then the screen goes dark, you stand there smiling to yourself knowing that she was the one for you, and you cant wait till you can kiss her again.
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uniquesoulwinner · 7 months
Text
My Queen
Leah Williamson x reader 
Idea that came to me after seeing Leah get her OBE today of a little surprise celebration with her girl who she didn’t think was even in the country! 
Hope you enjoy its not very good and the format isn’t working right so it might read funny but well it’s something 
Let me know what you think 
***********************
Y/n pov
Getting off the plane in London brings nothing but butterflies to your stomach at the thought of the day ahead. You see given that I’ve been in New York for work for the past 9 long weeks I was not meant to be here today well at least that’s what Leah thinks, I however always knew I would be here! 
As soon as we got the date for Leah to get her long awaited OBE medal I was on the phone to Amanda to plan exactly what was going to happen today, this has lead to a lot of sneaky phone calls between me and my girlfriends mother, who I’m nearly sure is more excited about me being there to surprise Leah than I am.
Finding out that I was going to have to be in New York for 16 weeks for work was never part of the plan, being away from Leah for that long was a thought that made my whole body hurt before I even went, which is why I I have worked my ass off over the last 9 weeks so complete everything I needed to do to get home to my girlfriend of 4 years early which brings me back to walking though Heathrow Airport at 7:45am on a Wednesday morning counting down the minutes until I have her in my arms again. 
Just as I was getting into the taxi to take me to the hotel I had booked for myself and Leah for that night my phone rang and my smile got even bigger seeing it was Amanda!
Y/n: Hey perfect timing I’m just in the taxi
Amanda: ahh perfect I’m so excited, she’s getting ready already! I swear she takes forever.
Y/n: Worth every minute though; you find yourself say thing that out loud without ever realising until you hear Amanda aww on the other end of the phone which made you blush no end! Anyway how are we looking for timeline I’m just heading to the hotel now to get showered and ready! 
Amanda: so we should be wrapped up in Windsor by around 13:30pm at the latest and then she thinks we are just going for dinner and meeting holly and all that couldn’t come to the ceremony there. You can hear the excited little giggle coming from Amanda like she is on a secret spy mission which makes you laugh  
Y/n: ok good and she definitely doesn’t suspect a thing right you ask already knowing that she doesn’t considering you spent 2 hours in the phone to her last night with her upset and missing you as well as telling you how much she wished you where going to be there today which yes broke your heart in two , the only thing that you hoped was seeing her face today would make up for everything!
Amanda: nope not a thing, she is completely oblivious you hear that cheeky giggle again she is going to be so happy y/n, she has missed you so much you you 
Y/n: yeh I know I’ve missed her too more than words but not long now, god I’m nervous you laugh at the Ridiculousness of getting nervous over seeing the woman that has been the centre of your world for 4 years now 
Amanda: oh sweetie you no need to be nervous, the second that girl sees you everything will be worth it, you know … Amanda suddenly stops talking only thing you can hear is some rustling and foot steps which your hoping isn’t Leah catching you both out 
Ok I gotta go she is wandering around now looking for her socks so I better help I’ll see you later ok text me when your there , ok bye bye bye and the phones goes dead leaving you laughing at the thought of your girl running around looking for socks which you know she will be treating like a Military mission in that room ! 
************************
Later on that day after checking in to the hotel and getting yourself ready , wearing a tight green dress that you knew drive Leah crazy with your hair down and curled and black heals, you where standing that the bar of the restaurant that had been booked out for today with holly catching up on every bit of gossip you had missed being away which was lot it seemed! 
Although after the 7th time checking the door you did catch holly giving you a very knowing smirk which made you laugh purely because you didn’t care how obvious you where being, ever since Amanda text to say they where 20 minutes away you could help but look out for them ! You wanted your girl and weren’t even sorry about it ! 
The restaurant was full of Leah’s close family and friends most of which were now laughing at the twitter comments over Leah being the queen of England now ! Lol 
You only snapped out of staring at the door when you heard Jen Leah’s teammate call you 
Jen: y/n how does it feel to have bagged England’s new queen  all you heard was laughter which then turned to cooing and awe’s when you replied saying y/n: she has always been my queen 
And right as you said that you seen her your queen walk past the window towards the door looking out of this world and every bit worthily of the title queen in your opinion but it was to time and time for you to hide in the crowd who had all turned to face the door waiting for her to come in, to which when she did come in she was meant by just noise of chatting and clapping but all you could hear was her laugh that beautiful laugh while she made her way around people still not spotting you ! 
Amanda however snuck around to hug you whispering how she couldn’t wait to see Leah’s face ! 
After around 5 minutes of her still not spotting you , you had enough of waiting so grabbed a glass of champagne and made your way up behind her as she spoke to Alex Scott and Kim little both of who started smiling the second they seen you approach! 
Y/n: would the new queen like a drink you said standing behind her and while you couldn’t see her face you could see her body freeze as she heard your voice which made your heart burst. Y/n you heard her whisper still not turning around which made you giggle given that all you wanted right now was to kiss her still though you stepped forward so you where right behind her meaning you could whisper in her ear hello baby, any chance I could get a hug now?  You didn’t even have a split second to react when her arms where around your neck with such force that if ever the sensible kimmy hadn’t if grabbed the champagne out if your hands it would have been all down the back of Leah’s very expensive looking suit ! 
Suddenly all the people in the room weren’t there anymore the only thing that you noticed was your girl finally in your arms after way to long and while pulling her impossibly closer to you , you just breathed her in every part of you and missed every part of her and now here you could never imagine being away from her again which made what you were about to do even more clear in your head, so while holding her as close as possible with one arm your eyes met Leah’s grandmas giving her a nod and hold out your hand , you watched as the whole room tried to contain themselves as she placed the black velvet box in your hand giving your hand a small squeeze as she did !
Focusing back on Leah who’s head was still buried in your neck, pulling back slightly so you could see her with a massive smile on your face that was thankfully matched by her, finally gave you the chance to look into those eyes that have had you weak for years. It’s only when you see her eyes flick down to your lips that you pull her in making sure she can’t feel the box behind her back, although all sense leaves your body the second her lips meet yours for the first time in over 2 months. Finally it feels like I’m home you think, kissing her is home , she is home and with that thought you remember what you have hidden behind her back so with one final kiss you pull back to be met with a pout from her. 
Leah: your here, your actually here 
Y/n: I’m here baby I would never miss this looking at the smile on her face makes all the sneaking around worth it 
Leah: please tell me I have you for more than one night baby before you go back the pout comes back to her face again as she speaks Giggling at her you step back completely! Here goes nothing you think as you look into her eyes again how about forever you whisper never breaking eye contact, seeing the confusion on her have made you smile as you looked down at the box in your hands which was now between you and Leah, flicking your eyes back up seeing that hers where now fixed on the box in your hands as well it was go time so slowly you lower down onto one knee and open the box , hearing the gasp come from her  gave you the confirmation that the band you had chosen was the right choice! 
Y/n : le there is nothing I could say right now that would be any different to anything I have told you every day for the past 4 years but what I will say is how proud I am to be yours baby, every day with you is the best day of my life letting out a shaky breath as you see the tears in her eyes before you carry on and I want that for the rest of our lives, so Leah Williamson OBE you give her a cheeky smirk as the room fills with laughter , will you do me the honour of marrying me? Holding your breath for the whole 0.2 of a second it takes before you hear her say yes yes a million times yes , smiling with the tears running down both your faces you pull the ring from the box and finally put it on her finger as she pulls you up into a bruising kiss. 
You hear the cheers in the room, the clapping and banging on tables but all you feel is her , your finance , your Leah , your home! It’s just you two in the bubble of whispered words between the two of you consisting of i love yous, don’t ever leave again and I can’t wait to make you my wife , everything in that moment is just perfect! 
**************************
Hours later after food , champagne, a lot of laughter and more love than you could imagine, you are standing back beside your finance at the side of the room arms wrapped around each other just watching your friends and family around you. Turning to Leah you decide to take the teasing that’s been going on between the two of you for over an hour now to the next level,
Y/n: I booked us into a hotel for the next 2 nights so I hope you have no plans for tomorrow you say while looking her up and down because I have no plans on leaving that hotel room tomorrow. Watching as her eyes darken on front of you you step a little closer to her so you can whisper in her ear and just so you know earlier wasn’t the only time I plan on dropping to my knees for you my queen 
And with that Leah walked away and started saying goodbye to everyone you giggling behind her especially with the knowing looks you got from some people in the room but to hell with it you hadn’t had your girl in 9 weeks so you where going to make the most of every minute if that night and every night for the rest of your life with your queen ! 
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rimunagenius · 6 days
Text
The One Where You Royally Screw Up.
ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x Roommate!reader
ʚ word count: 3.1k words
ʚ warnings: RPF!! , slight smut, fingering, angst, use of ‘y/n’ if that even is one
ʚ rimunagenius speaks: part 4 is FINALLY here!! i’m so sorry for the delay, it was supposed to release friday but the cold i had thought i was getting over got worse in a span of hours so i said id release it on saturday, but i spent all my saturday in bed asleep bc i have the worst headache and nausea from the cold, and then today it was supposed to release early but the ending never got saved and i realized i had a communications test to take so i had to finish writing it and revising after…but it’s here!! finally. so this is angst so sorry, but trust, the pining and sexual tension that’s to come is gonna be worth it!!!
Part 4
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This felt wrong. You knew it wasn't the best way to cope with the feelings you had realized you were harboring for Kate.
But you needed to get over it. You couldn't possibly be this self destructive, and let yourself fall your roommate. She let you live in her apartment, and gave you grace when you didn't help pay rent for the first two months, trying to find a new job.
She deserved better than to have a friendship ruined just because you loved liked her. It wasn't fair. But this didn't feel fair to you either. Kissing Juliana in the backseat of her car was the last place you wanted to be. This should be Kate. For a moment you thought it was.
That's how you ended up here. Over the span of several months since reporting Nick, he was removed off  campus and was doing time. You and Kate had celebrated the accomplishment and never spoke about it again.
Since then you two have been a lot closer. "Sleeping over" in eachothers room. Cuddling more on the couch. It all started that night you both skipped practice. You knew where it was going, so did she. But the inevitable outcome if the actions you two were so good at doing were going to ruin you both. You couldn't have that. That's why you took Juliana up on the date two months ago. You guys made it official that month.
You couldn't have what you and Kate so desperately wanted, cause when you were getting ready, you saw the way Kate watched you. The longing looks she gave you as she sat on the couch next to you, while you did your makeup.
The way you looked absolutely gorgeous in the outfit you wore out to dinner, how she wished she was the one having you on her arm, how she was the one seen in public with you, and got to bring you home at the end of the night. But she wasn't, so she tried not to make it a thing when you came home the next morning. Or when you two made it official.
"You like that?" Juliana whispered in your ear, a small giggle escaping her lips that you could feel throughout your body.
Your panting echoed in the car, while your hands traveling all over her body. Throwing your head back, you moaned as her fingers curled inside of you, fingertips brushing against the soft spongey part inside you. "Oh—Kate." You moaned it before you could even think.
Your body froze, any expecting orgasm thrown out the window. Her fingers paused, softly but swiftly removing her fingers from your sopping cunt. Grabbing a towel in the pocket behind the passenger seat, Juliana avoided looking at you while she cleaned the remnants of you off her hands.
"So, you guys aren't just friends?" Juliana knew that you and Kate were close, she didn't mind. Really. But she saw the way you looked at Kate when she'd leave after dropping you off at class. She saw the way Kate watched everything you did with a look on her face that made it seem like you hung the moon.
"What—that's not—I didn't mean—" You couldn't even think. How could you totally embarrass yourself and do that to Juliana. You didn't even know why you said it. In the far back of your mind, you guess you wished it was Kate. But you thought that was just the mere thought of your fantasies talking.
You've imagine what'd it'd be like to sleep with Kate, hell, every gay woman in America probably has. But that was just a fantasy. You liked Jules. Atleast you thought you did.
"No, tell me right now. Are you and Kate more than friends? I need to know so I don't think I have a chance with you." Julianas eyes were pleading. Sad. She wanted you two to work; she really liked you.
"We're not more than friends." You made sure to look her in the eyes when you said it. You didn't know if it was convince her, or to convince yourself. Maybe if you looked sincere and she believed it, then you would.
"But you want to be, right? Why else would you moan her name while i'm trying to fuck you?" Juliana wasn't mad, she just wanted to know why. Why did you go through with this, sleeping with her, knowing you wished she was someone else.
You couldn't answer her. You didn't know how. You looked down, grabbing your black tank top and sliding it over your head.
"I honestly have no idea, Jules." The name suddenly felt so foreign rolling off your tongue in this context. Juliana winced at the nickname. Suddenly feeling angry about it now.
"Don't call me that. Why did you say her name?" The next pieces of clothing to go on was your black biker shorts and underwear. Fixing your white tube socks, you searched for your shoes.
"I don't know." Was that all you could say to her? She surely deserved more than what you were giving, and you sure as hell weren't giving her anything.
"Stop saying I don't know and just say you like her. That's all I need to hear." Juliana's voice rose as you grabbed your ankle boot docs, sliding them on your feet.
"I don't like her, Jules—I mean, Juliana. I don't like her, okay?" Who were you kidding? Repeating the four words wasn't convincing anyone in the car.
"Jesus Christ, Y/n! Are you fucking kidding me!?" Now she was getting irritated. "You do! There...it's out in the open. Why didn't you just tell me before letting me think that I had a chance?" Her eyes went glassy, now turning pink.
"I don't know why I said it, okay? I think I do like her, and I know it's wrong for imagining her instead of you. You don't deserve that—"
"You're right. I don't." Juliana stepped out of the car, her never taking her clothes off, only aiming to please you, missing. She held the door open, so you could slide out. "Look, I'm not mad at you. I guess it's my fault for falling for you even after I saw how you looked at her."
Watching tears fall down her face, it brought tears to yours. You didn't mean to hurt her. You should've figure your shit out before starting anything. You should've figure out your feelings for Kate.
Thinking you could fill the void with a relationship and sex with another woman, without talking to someone about how you felt, was something only transactional on your end. You hurt someone's feelings because you couldn't figure out your own. How could you jump into a relationship with her?
"No, it's not your fault. I was so stupid for starting something with you—not that you're not great, because you are. But because I should've known what I was doing was wrong. It wasn't fair to you, I'm so sorry." You wiped a tear off her face, your frown deepening as you saw the hurt in her eyes grow.
"Give yourself some grace. I wouldn't know what it's like to fall inlove with someone i've been friends with for so long. It must be hard. But just—don't do this to someone else. Figure out your feelings first." Juliana turned and opened the passenger side door, you closing the backseat passenger door. She handed you your clip and your bag.
"Figure it out with Kate." She gave you a tight lipped smile, before waking around the front of her car and getting inside the drivers seat. You nodded your head, and decided you had to tell Kate.
Walking back to the apartment gave you plenty of time to think. You've been doing that so much lately, you don't know how to anymore. What happened to you?
You haven't recorded vlogs, get ready with me's, or any content for your channel in months. Opting for the vague communication with family and friends. The spiral of trying to get Kate out of your head, and trying to shove her back into the friend zone, was so consuming. You haven't even lived your life.
You needed to say it. You needed to tell someone. You needed to figure it out.
Walking inside, you set your bag and keys down on the counter. What the fuck were you going to say? How could you tell Kate that you and your girlfriend were hooking up, and the whole time you wished it was her.
Struggling to decide on who to tell, you settled for embarrassing yourself to a friend, who you knew would help you. Scrolling to find Jadas name in your contacts, you pressed her contact and listened to the phone ring.
"Hey, Jada!" You said when she answered the phone.
"Hey! What's up? You're coming to practice later, right?" Today was an off day. You usually only ever needed to be at like two practice a week.
"Today's an off day for me, and I would go as a spectator but that's why i'm calling." You swallowed the lump in your throat and sighed. This was gonna be so awkward to explain.
"Wait so you're telling me that...you're actually inlove with Kate...but you can't tell her that and because of that, you moaned her name while you were having sex with your girlfriend? Oh, that's bad, babe." You could see her face without having to see it. When you looked down at your phone, you were correct.
"I know, I know. It's super bad. I don't even know what's worse, the fact that I did that to Juliana, or the fact that she wasn't even mad about it." Recalling earliers incident, she didn't even overreact.
"Probably because she already knew. She just didn't want to see it until you did what you did. She just wanted to keep you while she had you. I get it. Happens to the best of us." Jada nodded her head and ate chips while she watched her show.
You guys ended up Facetiming halfway through the phone call so you could give proper recollection to the incident. Jada needed to see the facial expressions and everything to give her proper advice.
"Oh my god, Jada. Why do I have to feel this way for Kate?" You put your head in your hands and cried a little. You were emotionally overstimulated, the weight of your actions now weighing on you. You looked up, looking to the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, you looked down at Jada.
"Aw, you'll be okay, babe. I promise. We are all human, we all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it, just learn from it. As far as telling Kate goes, I wouldn't tell her unless you were one hundred percent sure that what you're feeling is real. And when you're ready, sit her down, don't ambush her, but sit her down and talk about it."
"What if she thinks I'm literally crazy and so weird and she kicks me out?" You started to spiral.
"Hey, that's not gonna happen. She's a very understanding person and you know that. You've lived with her all these years for godsakes." Jada slapped her hand down on her bed, flipping her bowl of chips. "Oh my god!" She screamed. You laughed at loud, watching some fly across the screen.
The front door opened, a sluggish Kate walked through the door. She had been very tired recently; basketball and finishing school were growing to be very exhausting. She watched you laugh so hard that tears were falling down your face. A scream laugh, that grew quiet, a loud gasp following which she recognized as Jada's laugh through the phone speaker. She walked over and sat down on the couch next to you, resting her head on your shoulder to say hi to her other best friend. "Hi, Jada!" She smiled big into the camera, her sleepy and drowsy mood suddenly vanishing.
You put your hand on Kate's cheek, patting it softly. You looked at Jada through the screen. Your eyes stare into hers. She nodded softly, covering it with leaning down to grab the fallen chips. You knew she was right. Kate wouldn't give you a hard time but you couldn't help but panic.
You three stayed on the phone for a little while before Jada hung up so she could leave for practice. You placed the phone in Kate's room while you sat on her bed, so she could still talk to you both while they both got ready.
Kate was on her way out the door when you stopped her, hand on her arm, "Hey, can I talk to you when you get home? It's kinda important." You were so scared to tell her. But you had to rip the bandaid off right?
"Yeah, of course. I'll see you when I get home. I love you." She closed the door behind her. You stood there for a moment, staring at the door. You had three hours to prepare yourself for tonight. How the fuck were you going to tell her?
You drove yourself insane for the last 3 hours that you were alone in the house. You cleaned the kitchen, the living room, your room, mopped the kitchen, and vacuumed every surface that could be vaccummed in the house. You took a shower, and almost changed your pajamas twice.
You finally sat on the couch, watching whatever was on, literally fucking panicking. Kate had walked through the door thirty minutes ago, cleaning herself up.
"Okay, so what did you need to tell me? You okay?" She sat on the couch next to you, smiling softly to herself when she saw you were wearing one of her old hoodies. She hasn't seen in it in so long.
"What?" You looked at her, noticing smile on her face. She shrugged her shoulders.
"Just haven't seen that sweater of mine in a long time." She adjusted how she was sitting.
"Oh, I forgot I stole this from you a long time ago." You looked to her, instantly regretting it. She was manspreading and she looked so good. You could not look at her when you told her this.
"Okay, anyways. Back to what I needed to tell you. So, Juliana and I broke up." You paused. Her face pulled into a frown.
"Aw i'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Kate reached her arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. You didn't fight it. Choosing to lean into her touch. You closed your eyes, gathering the sheer will to be able to tell her what the hell happened.
"I'm okay, Kate. I promise. But we broke up because we were hooking up in her car, and I know you said not to give you details, but it’s relevant because I moaned your name. While she was trying to fuck me.” You finally got it out, but it wasn’t helping that Kate’s face didn’t express any telling emotions.
You lifted your head from her shoulder, wincing slightly when she immediately moved a small distance on the couch. You needed her to say something but you’d get it if she didn’t. You couldn’t begin to understand the digestion of something like this.
“Oh, wow. That’s crazy.” Kate stared blankly at her slippers that she had been wearing. She was tugging on the strings of her hoodie.
“Yeah…” You were kinda let down at the reaction she had. You were expecting an immediate blow up at what you had just announced. Or some type of general reaction.
She wasn’t saying anything. You could see the gears turning in her pretty head, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. It made you more nervous than before you even told her. “Is that it? Kate?” You watched her blue eyes meet yours.
The shade of blue so pretty, and so relaxing. “What does that mean? Why?”
“Because I love you, Kate.” The sincerity in your voice hitting her like a truck. There’s no way you were finally saying these words to her. You finally said them but at the worst possible time.
“I love you, too.” She replied in the quickness. Almost instantaneous as you said them. She loved you, possibly with every bone in her body.
“No, like, romantically. Not platonically.” You clarified to make sure you heard her correctly. She sighed before speaking.
“I know, that’s why I said it back. But you know we can’t do anything about it, right?” That’s when it hit you. She wasn’t mad, she was just playing it smart. You nodded your head shortly, looking down at your hands.
“Okay, what does that mean for us, though. How exactly are we going to live together knowing there’s something here, and not do anything about it.” You thought about it, and it made sense. The final four tournament already coming. This year was crazy and passing by so fast.
They won the Big Tem tourney almost a month ago. The stress of the biggest tournament this season was coming up and a relationship, the additional stress and possible blow up of a relationship, was hard. Cultivating a new relationship at this time was stress Kate didn’t need. You couldn’t do that to her.
Kate prided herself on being level headed. That’s how she led her team so good, on and off the court. Her ability to take accountability and responsibility was unmatched, so she couldn’t understand why coming up with this resolution was so hard.
She knew it was wrong to start something she wanted to put her all in, at this moment, because she wanted to put her all into basketball. It was more important to her at this moment in time. She knew you’d understand.
“Tell me this again in a couple months, yeah?” Kate said, a small smile on her face. Trying to lighten the mood, she held her hand out.
You looked at her and then at her hand. You shook it. It was quiet for a beat, “And about the living situation, we just do it how we’ve been doing it all these years. Day by day.” Her hand that still remained in yours, pulled your body closer to hers.
This wasn’t the way you wanted to tell Kate that you were inlove with her, that you accidentally almost got off to the idea of her when your girlfriend was indeed not her, or the fact that you couldn’t start a relationship right away. But laying here, against her side, while you sat and watched whatever was on the tv to distract from the overwhelming expression of emotions was okay for now.
You knew you just needed to give it time. You two would come together. For now, you’d just have to wait. So you both sat there, counting down the days until you knew you could be together.
It was already the most insanely slow countdown of your lives.
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headspace-hotel · 10 months
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I am a dedicated water enjoyer but i have such a hard time believing that the "recommended" amount of water you are supposed to drink per day is legit ngl
According to google you're "supposed" to drink 125 ounces of water per day (almost a gallon). (I'm tempted to call this bullshit even just based on the fact that it's just one of several different answers.) At what point in the evolution of our species would this have been possible, especially in hot environments where you're out sweating in the sun and would need even more water?
Like okay, for one thing, drinking water by lapping it up or with your hands makes it a lot more time consuming to ingest a significant quantity of water. Furthermore, drinking from stagnant pools will give you illnesses that will kill you, and clean springs and mountain streams aren't exactly everywhere.
Did hunter-gatherers that spent their days tracking large game stop 8 times a day to guzzle down water? How did they have the fucking time to do this? Where were they getting it? Were they lugging gallons of water with them all the time in animal skin bags or something? Could they drink 4 standard water bottles' worth of water in one go whenever they found a water source? A lot of springs don't even produce water that fast??
Humans have lived in literal deserts for thousands of years!! Indoor plumbing is a new thing! Our culture is so water-centric that "around the water cooler" is slang for a casual social situation at work, most buildings have fountains specifically for dispensing drinking water, lobbies and hotels everywhere have vending machines that dispense beverages, and an important form of self-expression in public is carrying large, decorated water bottles. And yet somehow we're all chronically dehydrated and should be drinking more water??
Why would evolution adapt us to require more water than thirst can or will signal us to drink, anyway? Isn't that the reason thirst exists? 
(Also, has anyone who makes this shit up ever tried to drink that much water?? I used to drink 32 ounces of water over a 2 hour period, and I needed to go to the bathroom every 10-20 minutes to avoid pissing myself, like I would be in pain within minutes. If my body is getting rid of such insane quantities of water that my piss is basically water and I'm going to the bathroom every 20 minutes, that seems like a clear sign that my body does not want to have so much water in it.)
But I digress. At what point in time before the modern day would it have been possible for a human to ingest 8 glasses of water every day or 120 ounces or whatever is supposedly ideal??? If "dehydration" is the default state and has been for millions of years what does "dehydration" even MEAN?? Make it make sense...
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