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just-a-creep-babe · 3 years

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What type of April fools pranks would the creeps pull

-tiny anon

I, ah, went more-so with how they act on April fools instead of what pranks they do, mostly just cause I’m bad at thinking of pranks :”)

ALSO I didn’t have much time to write this & I wanted it out by today, so it might not be as refined as my other writing 😳👉👈

Nonetheless, hope this is alright! ☺️💖

Masterlist: x

Slenderman

No pranks from him tbh

This tired eldritch dad is, unfortunately, probably gonna (unintentionally) get the brunt of most pranks—just cause he’s at the wrong place at the wrong time 😐😔

And, y’know, you would THINK that because he’s telepathic, he’d be able to get a read on what the lil shits are planning, right?

But nope

He never prods into the others’ brains unless he has a reason to (out of respect for their privacy), so he ultimately always ends up paying the price

It doesn’t help that he tends to forget humans have this specific tradition once a year

Otherwise, he probably WOULD peer into their minds to find out what they’re planning

It somehow just always sneaks up on him smh

There was maybe only one year that he just so ~happened~ to remember

And that was pretty much the only year he didn’t get fooled by anyone/anything ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jeff the Killer

Oh boy

One of the absolute worst people to get pranked by

When he combines forces with BEN?

The two are unstoppable

Pranks range from the classic slime-over-the-doorframe trick to some of the most innovative, dickish pranks he can think of

If only he used his powers for good 😔👊

He can & WILL flip the entire mansion around, if need be, to prank people

Nothing’s off limits if it means he gets to humiliate someone

(Even though he should know not to cross certain boundaries smdh)

He pretty much always ends up having to do EXTRA chores for Slender as a punishment for going too far :”)

BEN Drowned

My mans is part of the aforementioned chaos duo

Being a ghost entity that roams the internet, he happens to get ~plenty~ of ideas to fool the others with

He will legit spend WEEKS planning ahead for what he wants to do, how he wants to do it & how it’s all going to go down

Again, if only he used his powers for good :”)

This day of the year is, like, legit the one & only day he plans everything out to a tee

He’s usually a lazy boi™️ but no shortcuts are EVER to be taken on April fools

His fave victims include Masky (it’s funny to see him get so upset), Dark Link (I mean, he’s not gonna pass up an opportunity to embarrass his rival), and, surprisingly, Jeff

He LOVES turning the tables on his prank buddy

Jeff tries to get him back for it, but it’s very difficult to properly fool BEN 👀

Such are the perks of being a super smart internet-lurking ghost, I suppose 🤷‍♀️

Eyeless Jack

Eh, he’s not too keen on the whole thing

He considers himself a bit too mature to deal with that kind of “childish behaviour”

He’s not very fun to prank either, because A) he’s got super fast reflexes, B) he’s got heightened senses, and C) if the others somehow manage to catch him off guard despite that, he’ll just be like “ok cool” and carry on with his day

No Shits Given

Still, knowing how goddamn chaotic the mansion gets during this time of year, more often than not, he tends to make himself sparse

Either he locks himself up in his room, or he sticks around the creeps that also don’t like the tradition, or he leaves and goes,,, wherever he usually goes when he disappears from the mansion sometimes

On the rare occasion that he does stay behind, he might help one of the creeps to get their revenge on someone that pranked them

But only if he’s feeling particular playful that day, which doesn’t happen very often

Honestly, because he takes pity on Slender, if he comes back to the mansion being a mess, he’ll help clean things up

Overall a good boi that deserves some head pats for not turning into a goddamn monkey like the others smh

Masky

Masky is essentially the 2nd tired dad figure that has to deal with “this shit again,” as he puts it

Except, unlike Slender, the others aren’t scared of him, so he might ultimately get the worse brunt of it (even worse than what his boss gets)

Something about the way he reacts just makes for some ✨quality content✨ to the others

And, just because they can, they like to film him

It sucks for Masky, because not only does he get his ass handed to him, but then the others also get blackmail footage of him 😐😐

He hates it lmfaoo

Honestly considers hiding under a rock until the day’s over

But, somehow, they always manage to find him & drag him back out into the fray

This poor manses can’t catch a break

Someone help him please—he’s too tired to deal with this 😔🤘

Hoodie

I know we haven’t gotten to him yet, but Hoodie’s somewhere between Toby & EJ when it comes to the tradition

He’s relatively laid-back & won’t actively go out of his way to fool someone

But, hey, if there’s a prank to be had like right there, who’s he to not go for it?

His pranks tend to be relatively low effort—like a joke or a lie or something that tricks someone into believing something kinda stupid

His victim makes a fool of themselves, everyone has a good laugh, then the joke’s over & people move on

Albeit sometimes, the gag lasts longer than intended

Like that one year he convinced Toby that slugs can communicate telepathically because of all the fungus they eat

And Toby believed it for many months until Slender had to break the news to him 😔😔

Also, somehow?? homeboy’s damn near impossible to prank

Many have tried, all have failed—no one knows how he does it 🤷‍♀️

Ticci Toby

Prank time! Prank time! Prank time!

Boy fucking lives for the day he gets to have fun & mess around with the others

Every year most likely ends up with him getting injured, but hey, nothing new there :/

Unlike BEN & Jeff, he probably won’t turn the mansion upside-down (both figuratively and literally smh) to trick people

He’s more-so in it for the goofs

Like he doesn’t actually wanna humiliate or embarrass anyone too badly, ya know?

He’ll recruit others & form a prank gang because he knows there’s strength in numbers 😌✨

And it’s an unspoken code that those in the prank gang can’t prank each other

So, honestly?

Toby might be the most wholesome April fools-er out of everyone :3

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #slenderman #Jeff the killer #Ben drowned #Ticci Toby #eyeless jack #masky #hoodie

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prismadog · 3 years

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(=^‥^=)

I loved everything you had to say about the Family AU and would definitely enjoy sitting through and reading any and all rambles of anything about the AU. Also, I must agree, I actually choke when I eat food skins but even if I didn't have a condition that made it hard to eat food skins, I really don't like the texture and I agree with not liking food skins. I read somewhere that Gnomes can't eat most meats so like I'm sure Shrub could still eat bugs and Zombie flesh, but would she get sick from eating regular meat? Also, how would she approach the topic of Scott, because he's kind of trying to get rid of Xornoth but also is Xornoths brother so does he get to know who she is before everyone else or does she try to ignore him? If you have any headcanons or story ideas you wouldn't mind sharing that won't spoil future plans I can definitely grab myself a snack, some tea, and my soft weighted blanket and binge read anything you have to say all night and ignore my two exams tomorrow. (I'm sick I can ignore school)

Thank you so much for creating so much in this AU and feeding my desperate hyperfixafion mind with your reply to my ask. Have a great day/night/morning!

aw, I'm sorry to hear that you're sick, anon, I hope you get better soon. make sure you drink plenty of fluids, eat some good meals, and get lots of sleep! [sorry if I sound like a mom]

and dude! you're gonna make me cry from all your kind words, thank you, and I'm so glad you're loving the AU! honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough with the AU but I'm working on it - I've already started writing a prologue of sorts for it! [haven't posted yet but one day soon, hopefully]

food skins are kinda bad, and for me, it's definitely a texture thing. I didn't know there was a condition that made it difficult to eat food skins, that must suck.

now, I've got quite the ramble in store for you, anon so I hope you're ready. I think I might've gone a bit off topic when it came to Scott's section but I hope it answers any questions.

Food

I hadn't put too much thought into what gnomes eat before until you mentioned that. I did some, not a lot but a few links, research on the subject and it looks like with most people/dnd groups/etc, their gnomes are omnivores that have a similar diet to that of dwarves - so meats mostly with cheese and bread and ale, and maybe vegetables.

so, going off that, I've been considering what the traditional gnome in this world would eat. the gnomes are a part of the Nether and usually live in the forests - both warped and crimson. Shrub herself was found in a crimson forest by Xornoth. the crimson gnomes would most likely have a diet heavy on hoglin meat and mushrooms/vines/sprouts. the warped, on the other hand, wouldn't have as easy access to meat so I imagine their diet would be more vegetarian. now, both types are also kinda like irl fungus themselves in the way that they can get nutrients from dead tissue/creatures, though, they do prefer actual food and will only result to things like rotten flesh if they absolutely need to.

now, for Shrub specifically, since she is inherently a crimson forest gnome, has a diet of meat and mushrooms. but, she was also on her own for some time before Xornoth found her and had to resort to eating other things like zombie flesh and netherbugs [think silverfish or endermites but nether and more beetle-like]. then, Xornoth finds her and starts feeding her golden apples - I don't know how they have access to gapples but they do.

now, she can handle Nether-based foods easy but I imagine, once she's in the Overworld, things might get a bit trickier. there's pigs, which are kind of like hoglins, so I don't think she'd have trouble eating that. but then there's foods like melons and pumpkins and pie and cake and chicken and fish and a bunch of other stuff that's she's never had before.

it would be not only a culture shock, but also a shock to her insides as well, she'd probably end up feeling a bit nauseous every time she tried something new since she's never had it before. Overworld food would take some getting used to, maybe a few weeks, maybe longer, but once she does, there's no stopping her - Shrub has basically a bottomless pit for a stomach.

I can tell you though that Xornoth is very happy that their beloved child is getting the proper nutrients she needs to be healthy and strong. raising her, they were concerned she wasn't eating well enough, but that's hardly their fault, the Nether just doesn't have as many food options.

how does Shrub approach the topic of Scott?

now, this topic I have thought quite a bit about - mostly because Scott is one of my favorite content creators, but also because he's a big part of this AU as well. which makes sense since he is Xornoth's brother.

I did talk a bit about Shrub and Scott's first meeting in this post, and a bit about their relationship during the cure-quest in this post, but I never really did much more beyond the basics.

I wanna start off here with this: Shrub, at first, does not know who Scott is other than a reclusive ruler who lives in the elven empire of Rivendell, the same place her father told her about. but that does change over time, specifically after the first few meetings between her, Scott, Katherine, and Gem where they try to work out a cure for the demon.

it's after one of these meetings, when she's talking to Xornoth, that they ask her about Scott. she doesn't know much about him but finds that Xornoth thinks he's Alinar - either reincarnated or just without his memories. - for this here, I'm leaning towards reincarnated due to his past lives on X-Life and 3rd Life servers (and others but I've only seen those two)

the fact that her dad thinks Scott might be his brother changes how she sees him. before, she was okay with the distance - Scott is the definition of recluse, or might I say, he's a hermit? 😏 [sorry, terrible joke] - but now, she wants to get to know him, to find out if he really is Alinar, for her father's sake.

this does clash a bit with what the other rulers want - to defeat the demon for most, to cure the demon for some, and for two others they want the demon to take over. but Shrub, while she knows that there are those who are against Xornoth, she wants to look on the bright side and hope that they can find a cure, even if Scott is Aeor's Champion.

Scott Smajor, our beloved Elfking of Rivendell

now for Scott's side of things, his point of view is a little different. I touched on some of this in the posts linked above but I never really went beyond the basics.

as in the one link, Scott finds Shrub cute - she's small and wears an adorable outfit and she's got a nice voice, she's "kewt!". during their first meeting, brought on because Katherine set it up, he learns that this little gnome knows things about Rivendell and about elves - she doesn't say much but it's enough to make him question how she knows about Aeor and some elven customs.

all she tells him is that her dad told her stories growing up, nothing more, nothing less. this piques Scott's interest but he's not going to question it further because that would be rude. he's asked about an elf named Alinar but he has no idea who that is - he'll be more than happy to find out though! so that's what he does after their first meeting, he starts investigating the elf.

there's little information due to countless millennia and poor record keeping, but Scott does find out a few things: Alinar was a winged elf who was blessed by Aeor and granted golden antlers, he fought a demon and won, and he became king because of the two previous facts. what little information he does find, he sends word to Shrub with apologies that there isn't more.

during his investigation, Scott finds that his portal has started leaking into his empire - it's only a little bit so he's not going to worry about it. there's also talk of the other empires being terrorized by a demon but there hasn't been any problems like that in Rivendell so he doesn't worry about that either. he does find it curious though that all of this started after he met Shrub, but it's just coincidence - at least, that's what he tells himself.

the monthly Gatherings show him that some of the rulers aren't doing as well as they normally are, except for King Joey who's gushing about a budding romance and King Sausage who has more magic than he's ever had before. Shrub has been apart of the Gatherings for a few months and has been pretty vocal during them, but with new talks of a demon and ideas of how to get rid of it, Scott notices a change in her: she becomes less talkative and tries to subtly dissuade others from taking action.

Scott finds this curious and tries to talk to Shrub about the demon when they're alone - he quickly finds that she shies away from all talk about the demon and she seems guilty whenever its brought up. after some thinking and detective work, he believes it's because she and the demon came into the world about the same time - maybe she accidentally brought it with her?

but then talks of finding a cure for the corruption come up, as well as, finding a way to defeat the demon for good. with these new topics, he finds Shrub acting even odder - she pushes the idea that instead of killing the demon, they can cure it instead. many of the other rulers are unsure about that but some, like Katherine and Gem, want to find more peaceful solutions so they help Shrub.

Scott joins in as well because hey, this cute little gnome is hiding something but he doesn't know what and he's not going to straight-up ask her about it. shortly after the group starts looking into a cure, Scott gets a visit from the demon - but it's like in canon where Xornoth keeps their distance and only watches. he brings this up to Shrub the next time she visits and she sort of skirts around the topic before changing the subject to something else.

there's many meetings between him, Shrub, Katherine, and Gem where they try to make a cure for not only the corruption plaguing the land but for the demon as well. their attempts always seem to fail on the demon front, and Scott notices that the failure weighs much more heavily on Shrub's shoulders than anyone else's.

at some point after the first few cure-demon meetings, their relationship starts to change from casual friends to close friends - he's not sure what caused Shrub to visit more often or ask more about his life/Rivendell but he's glad for the company. he gets to know more about Shrub too, her life growing up in another realm and about her father - she freely talks about her dad but never says who they are nor does she invite Scott to meet him.

sometime during all of this, Scott comes to the conclusion that Shrub's dad and the demon are one in the same, or at least something close to. of course, he's not going to say anything until either she does or something comes up that requires absolute truth from everyone.

so, he suspects that Xornoth is Shrub's dad, and Shrub is a good friend, what can he do to help her? the cures are failing.

Scott gets the idea to ask Aeor for guidance - it's worked in the past when trouble came to Rivendell, it'll work again. he goes to Aeor's church and he asks for help in curing the demon. Aeor responds in a different way - his god gives him a weapon of unimaginable power that could slay the demon for good, and Aeor blesses him like he once blessed another elf millennia ago.

Scott has been chosen as Aeor's Champion and given access to his past lives, and he's not sure how to handle things - he's at an internal impasse because on one hand, his god has blessed him and on the other, his god wants him to kill his friend's father - the demon who is also his brother???

he stresses out about this new development and Shrub tries to talk to him, as do his other friends, all while Aeor wants him to prepare for war and while his friends continue to fail in making a cure.

it all comes to a head when Katherine and Gem are losing hope and are wanting to quit. Shrub tries to get them to keep going but there's just only so many things they can try and it's looking like a lost cause anyway. they give up and Shrub breaks, she tells the three of them why this means so much to her and why they have to keep trying - the alternative is war and bloodshed because giving up means that they're going to take on her father and kill them, or worse, her dad will kill them.

Katherine and Gem are rightfully shocked and unsure of how to take the information. Scott though, he's had his suspicions and he is the demon's brother, so he steps forward and comforts Shrub and promises her that he won't let that happen. Katherine and Gem question him and find out his own little family secret. they try to make a few more cures for everyone's sake.

of course, things don't go as they want them to - the new cures fail as well and Xornoth takes it upon themself to make the call to war, something that both Scott and Shrub are reluctant for. but Scott stays by her side through it all and she by his.

by the time everyone's standing on the battlefield, Scott knows exactly who he is, was in a past life, and he doesn't want history to repeat itself nor does he want there to be anymore unnecessary bloodshed.

this is where the ending of the curing-the-demon post comes in - I'll link it again for reference. hopefully you've read it because I don't think I could write all that here again...there's just so much.

I think that's about all I got in me at the moment - this post has become extremely long, but if you have more questions, feel free to ask!

#ask response #empires smp #found family au #xornoth adopts child!shubble au #shubble #xornoth #scott smajor

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crystaljins · 3 years

Text

River lead me home | 06

Characters: Kim Seokjin x reader

Word count: 5.6k

Synopsis: Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Genre: Adventure, fluff, angst

Notes: This is like the third or fourth time I’ve forgotten to post the chapter LOL!! Anyway, we’re fast approaching the end and I’m so tempted to draw it out because I’m not ready to say goodbye T.T but i’m also reaching the point where i can’t even remember what happens in each chapter LOL I read the cute messages you guys send and I have to go back and re-read to know what youre talking about ahaha

Also I feel like there hasn’t been enough asks about Jungkook’s role in this story and hopefully that will change after this chapter LOL

Tags: @blue1928 @veeparkersstuff

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

As the three of you prepare to depart the next morning, Ayla catches Jin as he’s packing up the supplies provided to him. The Psittanurans had been generous in their rewards and you all have abundant supplies to last you through until you reach the human realm once more.

“I apologise for offending Jungkook,” Ayla announces, as she helps Jin sort through the various medical supplies the Psittanurans had gifted to him. He’s not entirely sure on the function of each object, and so Ayla had offered to talk him through everything.

Jin pauses in his examination of a bottle of sharp-smelling liquid to glance at Ayla in surprise.

“Don’t mind him.” Jin says dismissively with a warm smile. “He has the manners of a sewer rat. In fact, if you want to execute him for his disrespect, feel free to.”

Ayla’s eyes go wide, her bright yellow iris peering at Jin in absolute horror.

“I would never do such a thing!” She cries. “Do you not care at all about your wish?”

“My wish?” Jin echoes in confusion. He can’t say he has a specific wish- mostly for peace and quiet, but the timing for Ayla to bring up a wish seems strange. She tilts her head curiously to the side.

“Is it not your wish he must fulfill? Is he (Y/N)’s pixie, then?” She wonders aloud. Jin stares, completely confused.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say he belongs to either of us- he’s just kind of there. Like a toe fungus- hard to get rid of and painful to look at.” He snorts.

“That’s strange. Usually pixies stay with the creature who made the wish, but it doesn’t sound like either of you have made a wish.” Ayla observes. Jin pauses as he packs away the last of his medical kit- the niggling feeling he had felt last night about Jungkook returns.

“Wish?” He tests the word aloud. It does sound vaguely familiar- if he reflects on his schooling from before the war, he does vaguely recall something about pixies and wishes. But he can’t think what it is, and his memory is frustratingly blank.

“Do you not know the origin of pixies? I would have thought an ancient species like a guardian would know everything there is to know about the species that inhabit this realm.” Ayla observes. Jin frowns. Perhaps, if his people had not been driven heartlessly from the realm they spent generations protecting, he would have the extensive knowledge that Ayla seems to expect of him.

“Refresh my memory.” He says slowly.

“A pixie is born of a desperate wish.” She explains. “And their goal and purpose in life is to see that wish come to fruition.”

Jin blinks. Jungkook, in all the years Jin has known him, has never mentioned anything with regards to a goal or purpose. All he’s ever done is get into trouble alongside you and antagonise small, fluffy dogs.

“So, you think Jungkook has a wish he has to fulfill?” Jin questions. Ayla nods.

“He must. He could not exist otherwise. Although, it is strange that neither of you seem to know about that. Can you not think of a wish he must fulfil?” She asks curiously. Jin frowns as he recalls the night before. Jungkook had been frustratingly vague when discussing why you had to see the river. And casting a spell to force you to see it had been oddly out of character for him. Could his strange behaviour have to do with whatever the wish is? What even is the wish? Is it yours? Why have you never mentioned it before?

“I can’t.” Jin finally admits. “This is the first time I’m hearing about how pixies are born. So then, what happens when they fulfil that wish?” He wonders. Ayla shakes her head.

“I’m afraid that knowledge has been lost to time. No one has even seen a pixie in a very long time- they aren’t exactly common.” She admits. “The last one was probably the Saishta Queen’s pixie; it managed to convince two guardians to steal the young dragon prince. So, they have a bit of a bad reputation.” She admits.

Jin is silent. Taehyung had been involved with the dragon prince incident, he knows, and his new girlfriend had gotten dragged into the fray too. But as far as he knew, Taehyung had never met any pixie. And Jungkook, as annoying and pesky as he is, would never do something as awful as that. Not to mention it’s been thirteen years since Jin met the little pixie. If he’d had bad intentions, he could have acted far sooner. It’s far more likely that you made a wish and you didn’t realise you’d created Jungkook.

Still, he can’t help but wonder. If a pixie is born of a desperate wish, what was the wish that led to Jungkook’s birth? And what could Jungkook’s goal be in leading you to this realm, and to the river?

Ayla takes her leave then, bidding Jin a warm farewell and wishing him well on the rest of his journey. She leaves Jin alone in the little hut he had taken residence in for the night.

“It’s not anything bad.” Jin starts at the sudden voice and turns to find Jungkook sitting comfortably on the little cabinet at Jin’s bedside. Neither he nor Ayla had registered the little pixie’s presence, which is disconcerting to say the least.

“What?” Jin snaps, irritated by the way he was so startled. Jungkook stretches and gets to his feet.

“The wish. It’s not for anything bad. So, you don’t have to worry.” He tells Jin with a yawn.

“How come you never mentioned it before?” Jin asks curiously. Jungkook shrugs.

“Well, I can’t. We can’t speak of the wish or the owner of the wish aloud.” He explains. “And as for why I waited so long... I guess I was afraid. I don’t know what will happen to me when I grant the wish.” He confesses.

Jin stares at Jungkook for a long time, and for the first time since he’s known the little pixie, Jin realises that Jungkook is very good at hiding behind a smile. He can’t imagine what it must be like, having only a handful of people and some moths to talk to for thirteen years. Watching them grow up without you- not being able to share in the bonds and friendships they formed.

“Will... will something happen to you?” Jin questions hesitantly. Jungkook shrugs and shoots him a grin, but there’s a tired quality to it.

“I certainly hope not.” He answers, but the implication is clear: something might. Jin feels a tremor of unease at the thought.

“Are you guys done? We really should be heading off?” You call, popping your head in through the doorway of Jin’s little hut. You’re already sporting your hello kitty backpack and you’ve changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Jin wasn’t afforded the luxury of fresh clothes, but luckily the Psittanurans had some travel garments they could lend him. It fits a little strangely given their unusual body shapes, but their tendency to make loose-fitting, free flowing clothes has worked in Jin’s favour.

“Almost.” Jin says quickly. Jungkook flutters up to land cross-legged on Jin’s shoulder. Your gaze catches the exchange, and you arch an eyebrow. Obviously, it’s strange to see Jin and Jungkook getting along. But you brush it aside and offer Jin a smile instead.

“Great! Because apparently the river is only a few days away! Isn’t that great?” You ask cheerfully. Jin struggle to keep a straight face as he recalls Ayla’s words from last night.

“Hey,” Jin says slowly because he doesn’t think it’s right to keep such knowledge from you. “About the river-“

“Let’s get going!” Jungkook interrupts, leaping across the distance from Jin’s shoulder to your own like he’s an Olympic athlete. He stabilises himself against your neck and glares at Jin over his shoulder. The meaning of the look is clear enough- don’t say anything. Jin bites his lip- he’s not sure it’s right to keep it secret.

But something stops him. He doesn’t know why. Something about the tone of Jungkook’s voice when he confessed that he didn’t know what would happen to him... it lingers in Jin’s mind.

With a sigh, Jin shakes his head and steps so that he’s standing shoulder to shoulder with you.

“Have you said goodbye to everyone?” Jin asks, because he knows you’d somehow made a whole bunch of friends during the festivities last night. It was surprising, to say the least. You’d never been the social kind or the type to win the attention of people you’d just met.

Or maybe you’d just never been in the right situation to do so. Jin feels an uncomfortable pang in his chest at the thought.

“Yup! So, there’s nothing left to do now except see the river.” You respond. You glance sidewards at Jin. “What were you and Jungkook talking about?”

“About your embarrassing crush on him.” Jungkook drawls.

Your eyes go wide, and Jin feels his heart drop into his stomach. He can’t believe Jungkook would blatantly throw him under the bus like that- actually, no. He can believe that.

“I... I...” you stutter, and your cheeks glow red and if the darn pixie didn’t have such quick reactions, Jin would be taking great pleasure in flinging him through the air at the nearest tree. Your mouth trembles and you look like you’re about to cry and if the revelation of your feelings didn’t already have Jin feeling like the scum of the earth, then this most certainly does.

“(Y/N),” Jin calls hastily, already desperately trying to plan how to placate you. But then you swallow and stare at him with hardened eyes.

“I don’t have a crush on you.” You assert firmly.

The words die on Jin’s tongue. He doesn’t know why, but they do. It’s like you’ve just slapped him and he’s still reeling from the shock. He opens his mouth a few times, but no words come out- he just flounders uselessly like a goldfish that had foolishly leapt out of the safety of its tank.

And it’s stupid. It’s positively idiotic. But he can’t help but think… you didn’t have to deny it so aggressively. It’s not like... it’s not like your feelings are a secret! And when you deny them like that... it just sounds so convincing! Wouldn’t a simple “huh I don’t know what you’re talking about?” suffice?

You take the opportunity of Jin’s speechlessness to get a head start, huffily storming off towards the eastern exit of the village. Jin shoots Jungkook a glare.

“Very nice.” Jin snaps. Jungkook shrugs.

“It was me or you, man. And sorry, but I choose me.” He says simply.

Not for the first time, Jin restrains the urge to give Jungkook the solid flick he deserves.

Luckily, though you have a multitude of irritating personality traits, holding grudges is not one of them. It does not take long for the wonders of the next leg of the journey to catch your eye and before long you are chattering Jin’s ear off like there’s no tomorrow, about the wildlife you’ve spotted or about the weird plants. It makes him smile, because this trip is finally being enjoyed in the way you intended it to be.

For the first time since starting on this wretched journey, Jin realises he is enjoying himself. The sunlight streams warmly through the trees and gradually the metallic flora native to the Golden Plains starts to infiltrate the surrounding shrubbery. With your detour to the marshlands, you had essentially skipped the starlit wonder of Mountains of Delaria, but you will still get to see the magnificent Golden Plains as they are the only way to access the river after leaving the swamplands.

It’s so rare to see you smiling and cheerful. Usually you’re hunched and awkward, like a puppy that’s just been scolded for urinating on the carpet. But here, you’re bright- he’s even go so far as to say that you’re radiant, in the afternoon sunlight, surrounded by the mystically glinting metallic plants. You’re in your element in a way you’ve never really been before.

It makes a warm, fond feeling bloom in the centre of his chest. This is the (Y/N) that everyone has been trying to get back for so long. The girl with sunshine in her smile and bright, eager eyes. He had almost forgotten that girl existed but seeing her now- seeing you now- has him smiling like a dope.

“What will you do when you go back?” It takes him a moment to even realise he’s asked the question. You stare at him, a bit surprised, while Jungkook shoots him a look like he’s gone crazy. Jin almost curses his big mouth, but then you smile at him.

“I don’t know.” You confess. You turn your gaze to where a low hanging flower dips into your path. Its petals glint a wonderful metallic purple and when you run your fingers over them, they are stiff like sheets of metal.

Jin prides himself on being a bit of a smooth talker- no one can be as popular with women as he as without a bit of a silver tongue, so to speak. So, no one is more surprised than himself at the tactless words he blurts out next.

“Would you ever stay here?” He regrets the words as soon as he says them. What if he’s giving you ideas? His mum would kill him- your mum would kill him. And he’d never be able to visit- he’d wait a week and two years would have passed for you. Within a year, 120 years would have passed in this realm. You’d be long dead from old age by that stage. And yet... the question has been weighing on his mind without him even realising it. You’re so happy and at ease here- if you can’t ever settle in the other realm, does that mean the only place you’d ever be happy is here? His heart leaps into his throat in anticipation of your answer. Jungkook simply stares in confusion.

“No.” You say, and the firmness in your voice stills the panicked racing of his heart. “There’s nothing here for me, now.” You shoot him a furtive, shy glance. “Our family is in the other realm.” You remind him. “This was only ever supposed to be a short trip.”

For some reason, his slow, stupid brain lingers on the way that you say “our family”. Not “your family”. Or “my family”. But “our family”. Like the two of you are family. That strangely fond feeling from earlier returns, but with a vengeance, carried on the wings of the thousands of butterflies that decide to take residence in his stomach. Jungkook’s incredulous expression morphs, and it irritates the way he looks strangely smug at Jin’s sudden floundering. Jin suddenly finds himself missing the time he had with you earlier, without Jungkook there to eavesdrop and pass judgement.

“You seem really happy here, is all.” Is all Jin can manage.

You turn to face Jin fully and your answering smile is annoyingly bright.

“I’ve wanted to do this for years! Of course I’d be happy.” You remind him. “But me being happy here doesn’t suddenly make it my home. It stopped being my home the day that...” you trail away for a second, and your smile falters. “Anyway, it hasn’t been my home for a long time.” You say dismissively.

“So, what did you think this trip would achieve, then?” Jin asks curiously. “And why now, right after a fight with your mother? You know she must be worried sick about you.”

You grimace, staring straight ahead. The trees are starting to thin out, and in the gaps between the foliage, an endless expanse of blue peeks through.

“Are you trying to scold me again?” You joke. “I get that it was irresponsible. And selfish too. But Jin,” your expression as you gaze at him is so serious and sincere that for a moment, Jin doesn’t know who you are. It’s like an entirely different person gazes you at him. “I really, truly want to be happy for my mother. I love her more than anything. I want to be celebrating her marriage. I do. But I can’t... I can’t just forget about him. I can’t just move on.” Tears well in your eyes as you come clean. It’s been a very long time since you’ve been vulnerable and open with Jin like this and it surprises him to realise that he missed this. He’s missed having your trust and affection. He doesn’t know how he lost it, but he’s strangely relieved to know that he’s slowly gaining it back. “I’ve tried so damn hard. But I won’t be able to smile at her wedding or celebrate with her until I’ve said goodbye.” You confess. “That’s what this trip was. It’s a chance to say goodbye. So yeah, I’m happy to be here. I’m happy to be seeing the things he wanted me to see. But no, this isn’t my home- home is where you guys are.”

In that moment, Jin realises something. He doesn’t know how he hadn’t realised it sooner, with it staring him right in the face all this time. But never has it been clearer to him than in this moment- you’ve grown up. Somewhere, somehow along the line, you stopped being that little girl who needed him to hold her hand or stand up to her bullies in school. That’s why you’ve stopped looking like the girl he’s known all his life. It’s because you’ve stopped being that girl. And yet, at the same time, you haven’t. The person who stands before him is the young woman he’s cared for most of his life... but also a young woman he doesn’t know. Someone who can defeat Forest Spirits with her mind and infiltrate enemy encampments with nothing but her wits to save her friends. Someone who was brave enough to take the steps to recover after losing everything. And yeah, maybe you took a few bum steps along the way. Maybe you didn’t settle in as easily as he did. But you’re so much better than what he thought you could be- what anyone thought you could be.

And he’s so incredibly proud of y-

“Look out!” You’re shoving him to the ground before he can even finish the thought. He winces as he hits the ground.

“(Y/N)!” Jungkook cries, and Jin’s never heard that tone of absolute terror in the pixie’s voice before.

“Jin.” You gasp, standing where he had been a mere moment prior. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, until he gazes over your shoulder and he spots it. The arrow, sprouting from your left shoulder, right through the hot pink strap of your backpack. The blood, pouring from the fresh wound. The agony in your expression.

And he’s a doctor- he’s seen much worse in the ED but for the first time in his life the sight of blood makes him dizzy enough that he may pass out. You’re bleeding- you’ve been shot. Worse- you were shot instead of him. That arrow’s trajectory should have lodged itself directly where his heart had been moments ago, but instead you took the hit.

You took an arrow for him. He should be dead... but you... but you...

Time seems to slow as the colour drains from your face. You crumple, and Jin scrambles forward, barely managing to catch you before you hit the ground. He cradles you, his expression manic.

“You idiot!” He all but snarls. “Are you crazy?”

“I’m sorry!” You gasp, clinging desperately to the loose material of his shirt. “My body... moved on its own.”

Jin has never really experienced heartbreak before. For a guy who spends a lot of time dating around, he’s always seemed to escape with his heart intact.

But the weak, confused tone to your voice might just do it. If he’d known that it hurt this much to get your heart broken, he might never have risked it before. Nothing can prepare him for the sheer agony of realising you’d thoughtlessly throw away your life in exchange for his own. That the reflex is so deeply ingrained in you that you didn’t hesitate to throw yourself in the path of an arrow for him.

“Jin!” Jungkook cries. “Jin, they’ve found us! We have to go!”

Jin doesn’t need to be told twice. He scrabbles to his feet, pausing to hoist your prone form over his shoulder in a fireman carry and then legging it as fast as he can, just as the sound of a Saishta hunting horn erupts in the shrubbery behind you.

There is no living creature in this realm that can catch up to a guardian that has decided to flee. Even a guardian like Jin. Especially a guardian like Jin, who has desperation and panic fuelling his desperate sprint. You scrabble at his shirt, trying to stabilise yourself, and he ignores the way he can feel blood soaking into his shirt from where you grab at him.

He doesn’t know how long he sprints mindlessly, desperately across the glittering fields of the Golden Plains, but right at the point where his lungs burn and he thinks he may collapse, he feels you tugging at his shirt.

“Over there!” You gasp, and he turns his head to follow where you point with your good arm. It’s a slightly raised hill, with some sort of abandoned burrow. There are various megafauna that inhabit the Golden Plains and live below ground- this must be one of those.

Jin quickly decides he’d much rather take on an angry giant rabbit than a troupe of highly trained Saishtas.

The burrow entrance is small, and he’s glad you have sharp eyes, for anyone else would have missed it. But after crawling through, although you have significantly more trouble with a blood arrow sprouting from your shoulder blade (Jin just ends up snapping the protruding shaft so that you can drag yourself through) it widens into an earthen alcove that’s just the right size for two guardians and a pixie to conceal themselves.

You collapse weakly on the earthen floor, pale and gasping for breath.

“Let me see.” Jin demands, when he’s gained his composure enough to examine the wound. He’s still embarrassingly out of breath, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever get his breath back. He helps you into a sitting position so that your back is to him.

You offer no protest to him blatantly ripping the damaged strap off your backpack so that he can tug it over your other arm and toss it aside. It’s probably a testament to how much pain you’re in- that backpack had been a gift from Taehyung, and you treasured it like he’d bought you a diamond or something.

The arrowhead doesn’t go deep, thankfully. The backpack strap provided enough padding to reduce the damage, and your shoulder blade prevented the arrowhead from piercing through into your thoracic cavity. But there’s significant muscle damage and if you were a human, you’d probably have lost all use of the arm. Blood streams from the wound and the material of your shirt is completely soaked. But the bleeding has mostly stopped, though your back is sticky with congealed blood.

You aren’t going to die. Though you are weak and crumpled and pale from blood loss, you’ll survive. Especially with the enhanced healing your guardian nature lends you- if Jin can remove the arrow and stop infection from setting in, you’ll be fine.

He feels the strength drain out of him at that thought. All that’s been keeping him going since the arrow hit him has been sheer terror. Now, with the space to breathe, he feels he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself up.

He drops his head against your uninjured shoulder, and he feels you stiffen but you don’t crumble under his weight.

“You’re such an idiot.” He says, but there’s no real malice in his voice- just a broken, exhausted tone he didn’t know he was capable of.

A sharp jabbing pain in his temple startles him into sitting back up. Jungkook has kicked him.

“Maybe you can save the exhausted lover boy act for after you’ve stopped her from bleeding out.” Jungkook points out drily, his arms folded across his tiny chest.

“It’s... not that bad.” You grit, turning to face Jin. You’re pale and sweat pools at your temple and forehead. The pained expression on your face is enough to kick Jin into gear. Jungkook’s right. He doesn’t have time to break down now. The Saishtas are hot on your heels and you need first aid. And it’s nothing but open plains out there and golden, waist high grass. There will be nowhere to hide or escape once you set out for the river. If the Saishtas come across you, it’s outrun them, or defeat them. Jin doubts the three of you could do either in your current states.

Jin swallows and reaches for the satchel with the medical kit the Psittanurans had gifted him with. He’s just blindly trusting that the substances they gave him actually do what they claim and aren’t just hopeful voodoo, but it’s not like he has a bag of IV fluids and a sterile surgical kit handy to stitch you up.

“I’m going to have to pull the arrow out.” He warns you, reaching for your torn bag strap. He balls it up in his hand and holds it up to your face.

“As much as it hurts, bite into this.” He tells you. “I don’t have any local and so this is going to hurt like hell.”

You look slightly uneasy, but nod your head, leaning forward to take the balled-up strap between your teeth.

Jin pulls out a small, dark vial which Ayla had told him was a coagulating liquid. Muscles bleed like hell and if the arrow has hit any vessels, you may pass out from blood loss. He swallows and braces himself. He can do this. He’s a doctor. He reaches deep into him and recalls the guy who worked in the ED and didn’t bat an eye at knife injuries or chainsaw accidents or that one drug addict with a prolapsed rectum.

“Ok, I’m going to do it now.” He warns you. He then plants one hand flat on your uninjured shoulder and grips the broken arrow shaft in the other.

“On the count of three.” He tells you, and you nod. Your fingers dig into the ground in anticipation.

“Three.” He says, and then he yanks the arrow.

Your answering scream is muffled by the bag strap, and you spit it out quickly as he empties the bottle of coagulant over the open wound, which is now filling up with fresh blood.

“That wasn’t on the count of three!” You shriek. Jin nods sheepishly.

“Ok. Well. There’s no use crying over the past.” He offers helpfully. He shoots a look at Jungkook. “Turn around. I’m taking her shirt off.”

Both you and Jungkook splutter.

“Why?” The two of you cry in eerie unison. You even turn fully to face Jin for good measure. He merely arches an eyebrow at you.

“I know you don’t have a degree in medicine or anything... but generally bandages don’t include your tattered shirt edges sticking to the wound.” Jin explains patiently. “(Y/N), it’s fine. I’m literally a doctor. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

It’s interesting that despite the blood loss, you can turn that particular shade of red.

“That doesn’t make it any better.” You mumble, even as you turn away and obediently unbutton your drenched shirt.

“It doesn’t have to be the whole shirt.” He murmurs comfortingly, pulling out a strip of material from the medical kit. Ayla had told him that it’s hard to get bandaging material to stay in place for silky Psittanuran feathers, so they often enchant materials with a special adhesive. “Just enough that your shirt isn’t sticking to it. I need to clean it up because the last thing we need is you getting an infection.”

You nod and drop your shirt enough to expose the left half of your upper back. Jin clears his throat awkwardly as he slides the thick strap of your sports bra out of the way and notes that it’s awfully warm in this little burrow.

“I didn’t know they made hello kitty sports bras.” Jungkook observes from where he’s hovering off to the side. You whip your head around to glare at him.

“Get OUT!” You snap. He holds his hands up.

“But you need me! What if Jin starts enjoying himself? You know how he feels about hello kitty-“ the empty coagulant vial being launched at him by your good arm is the only prompting Jungkook needs to go keep watch outside.

Which leaves you and Jin alone. The air feels thick and sluggish in the burrow as Jin works cleaning off the wound and applying the bandage. You’ve gone quiet- whether from exhaustion or pain, it’s hard to tell, but Jin has to help you tug your shirt back into place when he finally finishes.

He crawls over to your hello kitty bag and pulls out your water bottle.

“Why’d you do it?” He asks quietly as you take a long drink from your bottle. You don’t answer for a long time, but finally you drop the bottle.

“I told you. My body moved on its own.” You offer.

“Exactly. Why?” He asks, and he doesn’t mean for so much anger to leech into his tone. It’s just, he feels like the stress and fear and agony of the past week catching up to him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it other than being angry. Angry at you, for deciding to go on this journey in the first place. Angry at this realm for taking your father’s life. Angry at himself, for being pathetic enough to have to constantly be protected and saved by you.

But most of all, angry that your first instinct in danger is to disregard your own life in exchange for his own. He doesn’t even know what answer he’s looking for- that you love him? That it’s just instinct to save people? Neither answer would be particularly comforting.

“I don’t know.” You retort, and your tone is defensive in response to his barely concealed anger. “What do you want me to say, Jin? I heard the arrow coming and I didn’t exactly have time to think.”

“Exactly! That’s your problem!” He cries. “You never think! You only ever act! What would I have done, if your wound had been more serious? Have you ever once stopped to think about how that sort of thing affects me? How it feels to know you’re constantly doing things like fighting armed robbers and getting into fights and treating your life like it’s a piece of garbage to be thrown away without a thought?”

“That’s not what I-“ you protest, but Jin cuts you off.

“What if you had died? What if I had lost you? What would I be supposed to do?” He cries, and he surprises himself when his voice catches.

You go silent. Your words have been lost.

It actually reminds you of when Jin first caught you sneaking over to this realm. That fight seems like a lifetime ago, and he had scolded you for similar recklessness then. But strangely, it feels different. The look in Jin’s eyes is different. He’s... He’s not angry, you realise. He’s scared.

He flinches when the hand of your uninjured arm lands on his forearm. You watch him curiously, your movements cautious as though you are approaching a scared animal. He certainly feels like one.

Slowly, you slide your hand up his arm until you can hook your arm around the back of his neck and pull him into an awkward hug. It’s a little weird- you kind of have to awkwardly straddle him to properly hug him in the limited space, and he is still an unmoving like a wooden board.

“It’s the same for me.” You answer softly. “I can’t lose you. I’m sorry- I didn’t have time to stop and think but I’ll never stop and think when your life is in danger.” You pull away to meet his gaze. “I’ll always just act. You’ll just have to get used to that.”

Jin is silent, as he stares up at you. A weird feeling overcomes him, at your proximity. It’s warm and overwhelming. And, if he’s being honest, it scares him a little with the intensity of it. Like, if he were to pull you downwards and hold you tight, nothing would ever go wrong again. It’s not entirely unfamiliar, but at the same time he’s certain he’s never felt like this in his entire life.

“See I told you! It’s the hello kitty! He can’t resist!” Jin startles at the sound of Jungkook’s voice and you scramble off him like he’s burned you. He tries not to dwell on the fact that he instantly misses the warmth of your body. Suddenly the burrow feels too cold.

Jungkook tuts and shakes his head.

“See, good thing I came in here. Who knows what kind of stunt lover boy would have pulled?” He scolds. “Anyway, I think you’ve had enough time to recover. I guarantee you the Saishta’s are hunting for us as we speak and so we better get a move on.”

You nod, adjusting your clothes awkwardly and gathering your things.

Jin follows suit, almost robotically. He can’t shake the feeling that something huge just happened, but he doesn’t know what.

But his stomach churns because there’s one thing he knows for sure: He can’t lose you. He’s so, so afraid.

#jin x reader #kim seokjin x reader #castlebangtan #thebtswritersclub #seokjin x reader #writing

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

Note

Autistic max? I’m all in -🦖

yes!! Max being on the spectrum is one of my favorite headcanons! Here’s a bit of my thoughts and hcs for you anon! <3

okay so first i wanna talk a little about where this hc came from! this idea was born in my head for a multitude of reasons, but the general summary is this:

-she misses a lot of social+emotional cues! she didn’t pick up on just how annoyed Mike was with her in the gym and kept pushing until El intervened, she didn’t detect any of Lucas’ panic or frustration when he was explaining the upside down to her until he touches her, and when el is jealous and just not interested in meeting her, she seems to be completely unfazed by that until she walks away. also every scene she has with Billy, he’s very shut off and she seems to be confused about what she’s expected to say, missing that he’s angry until he’s lashing out, and idk to me it just seems like she doesn’t really have a grasp on understanding others’ emotions!

-similarly, she only seems to react in the face of immediate danger, as if she’s a lot of the time unaware of how bad things truly are around her. like when she’s helping to find dart without even knowing what’s going on, driving a whole muscle car and going down into the tunnels without a hint of fear, seeming barely concerned when the mindflayer was about to drop through the ceiling. it’s almost like she has trouble fully processing the consequences of certain things, which could also explain why she sneaks out even though she probably knows what Neil is like and the fact that it could potentially put her in danger.

-the way she dresses just screams tactile sensitivity! she doesn’t ever wear anything flowy, any scratchy materials, and even at the snowball, where we see Susan fussing over her, she’s still dressed for comfort. what young girl with a mother clearly interested in making her pretty is going to get away with wearing jeans to a school dance if she doesn’t have sensory issues?

-also, whenever she gets upset she seems to shut down. like she almost never talks to Billy after he yells at her unless it’s necessary, when her and Lucas are talking on top of the bus it definitely seems like she’s struggling to voice her feelings or put words to her emotions, when Billy’s in the sauna, after he’s activated she starts turning in on herself, and after his death she’s just sitting in his room. like maybe she doesn’t really understand her own emotions that well either.

I’m not really viewing any of this as like, solid evidence or anything btw, these are just some things I’ve noticed about her as an autistic girl her age and living in a very similar situation that I think are neat and relatable!

onto the stuff I literally made up because I love her!

-Susan gives me autism mommy vibes. Like, making it her identity that she has a child with autism, and at times that can get super frustrating for Max because she hates being her mom’s little trophy daughter, gossiped about at all the potlucks so people feel sorry for her. Her absolute least favorite thing is “She’s such a handful.” and when Susan pulls the I’m so lonely because of taking care of you card to make her feel bad. Especially because she doesn’t feel very taken care of, once she’d hit a certain age her mother decided she’d be alright without all that “kid stuff” and basically tossed her into the world on her on. (hence why she’s Billys responsibility)

-In the 80s (and still now if we’re being entirely honest) it was very normal to just throw a casual r slur into conversation and it kills Max every time her friends say it, especially Mike because she thinks he’s being mean and doesn’t like her. She doesn’t know how to explain to them that that hurts her feelings because she doesn’t even know how to bring it up that she’s autistic. Billy tells her once to try to cheer her up that he could beat them up for her but she cries even harder because that’s what she doesn’t want, is for them to think she’s overreacting. He feels bad and tries to make up for it bringing it up with some of the moms of the group and asking that they tell their kids to stop using that word ever.

-In California she was in special ed classes, but Hawkins Middle deems that not necessary for someone of her “functioning level” (yuck) and she gets landed in coed instead. It might’ve been alright if that was how she started her education, but she was already used to classes of four or five kids like her, and she just cannot learn in that new environment. So she does really, really bad in school her first year in Hawkins. She feels kind of self conscious around her friends because they’re all so smart and her grades make her feel stupid even though it’s not her fault, and that’s why she kinda drifts towards being close with El because she struggles with learning things too.

-Smells are probably her worst overstimulation triggers. Things like cigarette smoke, fresh brewed coffee, her moms perfume, cooking and baking smells, the automatic air freshener thing, candles. Pretty much anything stronger than the smell of water is just overwhelming for her, especially if there’s something else already working her up, because then a whiff of something too strong can put her straight into a meltdown. Billy decides to quit smoking for her (he’ll never admit that, he’s adamant that it was because it was messing with his lung capacity and he’s trying to work out) and he also does things like buy Susan a new, less offensive perfume for her birthday and open windows to get stuffy air out of the house. They never really talk about what that does for her but like, that’s part of how they start getting closer, is when he starts making little accommodations for her like that.

-In addition to smells, there are very specific sounds she can’t stand. It’s not all loud noises, some of them like the rev of Billy’s car or a bass guitar at an outdoor amphitheater are some of her favorites, but the ones she doesn’t like, she really hates. Things like styrofoam, dishes hitting off of each other, something scratching against ice that builds up in the freezer, TV static, the toaster popping up or the oven beeping, and people who can’t chew with their mouths closed (looking at you Billy, keep that gum in your mouth please) all make her feel gross. She’ll try to physically shake off the way those sounds make her feel but sometimes they’re just too much and she shuts down for a while until she gets to hear something else. In that case usually really quiet music or someone talking to her quietly can reel her back in.

-Her interests vary a lot! The longest she’s ever held one special interest was a Miss Piggy phase! Susan liked that she was showing interest in a feminine character because of a lot of her si’s were tomboyish, but Max liked Piggy because she knew karate and punched people who laughed at her or tried to make her feel bad about herself! She has all sorts of Piggy collectibles, like toys, bed sheets, posters, books, mugs and watches! Otherwise her interests and fixations tend to come and go pretty quickly, like one week she could want to know everything there is to know about pro skaters, and the next she’s into the history of circuses! She liked cars for a little while and Billy was really excited to indulge in that and let her get familiar with the camaro, but she shifted to video games pretty soon after and he had to let it drop.

-Another interest that’s also pretty constant for her is nature! Not only for the sensory experience of it, listening to leaves rustle and birds chirp and water rush, but also all the knowledge about it. She can identify any type of flower, grass, tree, critter, or fungus! When she’s melting down and needs to be away from the house, she asks Billy to take her to the state park so she can just sit and be quiet and calm down on a fallen tree or a swing set somewhere. They do have some woods behind their house but she’s too afraid to venture out there and prefers to be out with her brother anyways.

-Stims! She’ll fiddle with zippers and buttons and loose threads constantly to the point that they buy her three or four of the same jackets and shirts for when she inevitably breaks them. She also chews on sleeves and hoodie strings a lot. Other tactile stims she favors are string tricks and braiding and tieing knots! Braiding her and Billy’s hair is something she’ll do anytime she needs to feel grounded, and she has a whole bunch of those little wooden boards that kids use to learn how to tie their shoes to tie knots with. She also always has a pocketful of yarn, and her favorite thing to make with them is a spider web or a star!

-Sort of related to her fascination with string is that her shoelaces never ever match, she has like a whole drawer in her room full of different ones to change them out! (and she has Miss Piggy Bow Biters to put on them!)

-She’s also a very verbal stimmer at times! Giggles for days with Max, if she’s excited, happy, nervous, whatever, she’s giggling. Humming and mimicking too, like if she hears a sound she likes she’ll try to make it, whether it be part of a song or something she hears outside. But if she is sad she’ll get as quiet as a mouse.

Idk these are just like my sort of canon compliant hcs I guess? Like what I feel would be true for her in the timeline and storyline of the show!

#answered #anonymous #max mayfield #hcs under the cut because I’m long winded lol #thank you lovely anon for giving me the opportunity to ramble about this <3 #I could go on about this for eons #I actually have three fics planned out centered around Max’s autism #it just feels nice to project onto a character I relate to on so many levels #hope you like tho anon!#also always happy to share more!#<3

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the-magnus-backlogs · 3 years

Text

Statement of Suzanna Harkness regarding a manuscript she reviewed for publishing.

Statement taken direct from subject, 27th December 1993.

You wind up stumbling down a lot of weird rabbit holes when you work for a small press long enough. Niche genres you’d really rather remain oblivious to, arts majors trying to break the mould by submitting something they swear up and down you’ll have ‘never seen before’. Never mind if it’s actually legible, but that’s…that’s another matter, I guess. I’m not here to talk about the subpar sci-fi erotica or whatever, I’m here because I found something weird.

I’d like to say right off the bat that I’ve got a strong stomach. Wouldn’t have lasted this long in the company if I didn’t. We only publish a couple hundred books a year, but we take in all sorts around here. Sometimes it feels like our only real submission requirements are ‘unmarketable to the general public’, and it seems like anybody with a half-baked idea is willing to try their luck at tossing their unedited manuscript into the ring.

That’s where I come in. Wading through the mountains of unusable garbage, hunting for hidden gems. I’ve even found a couple, but mostly it’s just about finding something readable. Or something we can pass off as being readable for those rare readers capable of ‘comprehending the author’s artistic vision’. Yeah, the marketing team winds up throwing phrases like that around a lot.

Maybe I’m being unfair. I was a lot more patient about that sort of thing when I started. So preoccupied with not coming across as judgemental, but I’ve worked in publishing over ten years now.

It used to be more common for us to get manuscripts sent in through the post, back then. Nowadays it’s pretty much all done online. A couple we get from literary agents, but most are just emailed in by aspiring writers who stumbled across our site, usually after receiving their rejection letters from the two dozen publishing houses that show up above us on pretty much any search engine.

Every once in a blue moon, though, a manilla envelope will find its way onto my desk. Some bright spark who thinks they’re above using a laptop decides to send their manuscript in the old fashioned way. Sometimes it’s just a precaution in case we somehow miss the half dozen emails they’ve already sent out to every listed staff member on the site. Hell, sometimes it’s written by typewriter.

You know typewriters require special paper to print? Special ink, too. They probably spend more writing the damn thing than they’ll ever see in royalties, but to each their own, I guess. I even got one handwritten, once. The idiot sent a follow-up a month later anxiously asking if he could have it back if we weren’t going to consider it because it was his only copy. Can you imagine? Mailing off the only copy of your handwritten manuscript to some backroom small press without any insurance.

By comparison, this manuscript was relatively normal. It had been typed, I think. The paper was…I guess it was sort of crumpled, but I didn’t think much of it at the time. The postal service isn’t always the most careful about this sort of thing, and it wasn’t really packaged properly. Just shoved loose in a box and shipped out.

It was pre-bound. Just a bundle of papers held together with a few strands of red string. A little unusual, but not exactly throwing up any red flags. Even when I started reading it, I didn’t know. How the hell could I have?

It was good, though. Maybe that should have been my first clue. The prose dragged on a bit, but hey. There are plenty of successful writers out there who probably could have benefited from a harsher editor. They made up for it, in my opinion. Even just skimming those first few pages, I was hooked. Didn’t even really realise it when I was due my lunch break. I was so focused on that damn book.

The visuals were the thing. Plenty of writers can pour out half decent prose, but something about this writer…they had a way of making it feel real, you know? All the little touches, the scenes they crafted from the ground up. It felt…it felt like I couldn’t stop reading. Even if I’d wanted to, and trust me, back then I didn’t.

I didn’t leave my office that day. Barely noticed it when the phone rang, ignored all my emails. I really, really thought we’d accidentally stumbled on a gold mind. Not just a passable debut novel, but an honest to god genuine talent.

The funny thing is, I can’t even really remember what it was that drew me in. Couldn’t tell you what genre it fell under. The plot itself was practically non-existent. A girl who dreamed of being a dancer and crept out of her house to practice under the moonlight in a clearing in the forest behind her house.

Then, one blissful night, illuminated by the full moon, the forest provided her with a partner. The partner.

Nothing too out there, right? Your basic fantasy-romance type stuff. Pretty tame compared to a lot of what we publish, but I was enthralled from the first description of their first dance. Barefoot and so light on her feet her toes barely skimmed the dew-slick grass. They loved each other, and in that moment, I think I understood that. Really knew what it was to love someone so much you’d offer them your still beating heart if it would mean holding onto them for just a second longer.

Except it wasn’t love. Not really. It was an obsession.

I couldn’t stop devouring page after page as their budding romance grew and spiralled, twisting into something unrecognisable. Those whispered words of I can’t live without you became their mantra as they clung to one another so tightly they left bruises on one another’s skin. Soft kisses turned sharp as they came to understand what it was to need to consume and be consumed. They needed one another in a way neither could truly provide. Not really.

In their despair, they begged the forest to offer them a solution, and it gave them one. A way to lie in the sweet summer meadow forever, and in their glee they didn’t think to ask what it would cost.

Not until they began to rot, anyway.

My memories around here get a little hazy, or maybe the words were just less clear. The writing seemed…hurried towards the end, but the couple didn’t seem to mind much when the insects began to burrow through their skin and make their homes inside. They had so much love to give, literally brimming with it. As sickening as it was, it sounded almost…fond. Like the writer truly wanted to give them the happy ending they deserved, but somehow couldn’t think of anything more befitting than allowing their decaying corpses to be infested with creepy crawlies.

It was sick. The concept was sick. Everything about it was sick, but even now I can’t truly convey how vividly they described it. The picture they painted was so clear. Even the affection the insects lavished upon them as they crawled and burrowed through their decaying flesh. It was…God, it used to make me sick just thinking about it, you know that?

Because it wasn’t enough that I had to read it. That I physically couldn’t tear my eyes away. I had to see it. The idea of it…It got its hooks in deep.

By the time I got to the end, I was at a loss for what to do with the manuscript. On the one hand it was probably one of the best written pieces we’d ever received, and there are plenty of twisted readers out there looking for something to churn their stomach.

Somehow it didn’t feel right to publish it, though. I’ve read body horror before, but this…It wasn’t right. I couldn’t…I couldn’t just inflict that on people. How do you make someone understand, truly understand, when they’re signing up to read something that won’t ever let them go? How do you make them understand that the words they’re paying you to read will imprint themselves against the backs of their eyelids? That they’ll grow and spread and fester.

I dream about that dancer in the moonlit meadow. The descriptions of her actual appearance were relatively scarce, but I can still see her face when I close my eyes. I see her intertwined with her dance partner, caked in a mossy fungus that failed to disguise the living hive crawling beneath their skin. I can’t tell where one ends and the other begins, anymore. Not even sure if I could tell them apart looking at them, what with their withered skin being so covered in filth and grime.

That damned book made it sound like something beautiful, but their beauty decayed with their childish notions of romance. They chose to become hollow husks of themselves to make room for the love they could no longer contain, but that’s…that’s not love. It can’t be…right?

So why can’t I stop thinking about the way their fingers intertwined before rigor mortis set in and cemented their bond forever?

I can’t concentrate on anything else anymore. At first it was just a niggling seed of doubt at the back of my mind, but it’s grown so much since then. That image burrowed so deep inside my mind turned its hungry mouth towards the parts of me which were most vulnerable, eating and eating and eating and eating until I could think of nothing else.

I don’t know why I never thought to burn it. Maybe I was worried it would make it worse. Maybe it felt too much like sacrilege. I never read it again after that first time, though I considered it often. It sat on my desk while my other assignments lay scattered around it, disregarded without a second thought. After all, there was no room left in my mind for anything else anymore. Every other passage I tried to read just seemed so…dry. So false. I used to get so invested in the lives of paper people, but now I know what true love is, how could the half-baked notions of romance ever compare? I tried at first, but by the end I just…stared at it. Waiting.

Maybe if I’d tried to destroy it…Too late now, I suppose. I never let it see the printing presses, but I did let it go in the end. Some old man came in asking for it specifically. Something about it being a collectable.

I don’t know how an unpublished manuscript could be considered a collector’s item, and frankly I didn’t ask. I’m not sure if I even really cared about what he’d do with it by that point. Did it bother me that I might be condemning him to share my fate? It doesn’t now, I know that much.

It’s…I was hoping this might help me clear things up, but I just couldn’t see any of it straight. I can’t see anything, anymore. Not really. It may have started in my dreams, but once I let her in…They’re everywhere, now. I saw him in the faces of my colleagues before the press finally let me go… I don’t remember how long ago now. I think the power company cut the power at some point. It doesn’t matter now.

The funny thing is, I really thought they cared about me. They did, at first. I think. It all sort of blurs together, but I remember how they used to talk about me when they thought I couldn’t hear. The nervous looks they’d send me when I zoned out at my desks. Then they staged their first intervention, and I saw it. I saw her. It was the man I saw painted across the features of everyone I knew, in the arches of eyebrows and slants of cheekbones, but it was her I saw reflected in their eyes.

It was her I saw in the mirror, before they ran out of space inside my skull, and the maggots took my eyes…or maybe I imagined that part too.

I’m pretty sure it’s too late for me now, but when I heard about you guys I figured it was worth a shot. I’m full of it. Whatever that feverish contagion that claimed the couple was. That sickly, rotting thing they mistook for love. I can feel it now. I can understand it now and it’s so much. Already I’m on the brink of bursting with it, I think.

I just can’t wait to share.

#submission #the magnus archives #corruption #cw #body horror #insects #obsession #death

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sleepysampai · 4 years

Text

January 2nd, 2020

A WARNING AHEAD OF TIME.

This was a NIGHTMARE. Please do not read if you are easily disturbed. It is not graphic, but the dream DOES contain pets of mine that had passed away.

The Dream:

I stood with a couple of Tumblr friends in a room that felt dimmer than it should have been. I peered towards the light, mentally noting that this meant there was cause for this friend to fear sleeping in this room. Both he, and the younger friend, stood behind me as I looked over the data from the computer.

"There's nothing," I said with an exasperated sigh.

"Really?" The older boy (who I'll call Kaden) said.

"You didn't find anything?" The younger boy (we'll call him Xander) asked, almost disappointedly.

I shook my head, closing the metal case with a sturdy thunk. I knew I could feel something lurking around. The dimmed lights were an evident sign of a haunting. No matter which equipment I used, they refused to communicate.

What I suspected was a secret government agency, posing as a paranormal investigation team, scurried around like ants behind me. They introduced themselves as The Order of the White Light (or Good Light, I can't remember which). I felt like they were the reason why none of the spirits made contact.

"Is it still safe for me to sleep here?" Kaden asked, eyeing his bed. He picked at his hoodie cuffs nervously. I flicked my eyes around, a threat in my heart.

"Nothing happened," Xander said, peering under Kaden's bed, then under the desk. "That means there's no ghosts."

"We didn't get any evidence," I started, "but that doesn't necessarily mean nothing's here." Both boys visibly stiffened. "I don't think they'll bother you tonight, but you can always call me again if you need something." I smiled and turned.

I was suddenly in my own house. My dad was standing on two precariously stacked chairs, arranging hanging wineglasses. Tina (who comes in and out of my dreams every so often despite her absence in my life) was watching on. In the other room, my sister (who I will call Serenity) and brother (who I'll call Michael), both sat on the couch, practically screaming at the TV as Serenity played Breath of the Wild.

I looked again at my parents, hanging the wineglasses. "I thought you wanted them elsewhere?" I asked.

"I'm sure they can decide for themselves," the lead member of the Order of the White Light said. I glared at him. I weaved past my parents and went upstairs, hoping for comfort in the puppies.

I stood in the playroom of the Tonto house, the most haunted house we'd lived in. I remember thinking it was strange the puppies weren't in there. I heard their steps thunder down the hall. Persephone was VERY pregnant, and waddling a little as she ran.

"Look out!" Michael called as they ran past me. "Percy was shooting milk." I laughed at the absurd statement.

I looked at the ground. Under a towel was a black tail.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think that was...

My blood ran cold. My eyes slid to the leader. I was back in my livingroom.

"We thought you'd like to give them all a proper burial. Much closer to you." I glared daggers at the balding man with wispy tufts of white hair and a mustache. I looked at the towel again. Dirt, most likely clinging to Rusty's fur when we buried him the first time.

Lucky and the puppies trotted into the room together, harmless to each other.

I sat in a chair at the dining room table as my father finally stopped his dangerous decorating. We all sat, despite The Order of the White Light still wandering our house. It occurred to me I didn't know what they were looking for. It occurred to me that my family didn't suspect a thing.

I sat on the floor by Rusty's body. I noticed the other lumps under towels. Most likely others of our pets that had passed. I reached for Rusty. He turned his head quickly. Bluish-white eyes looking at me but through me. I quickly recoiled my hand with a yelp, standing. My family stopped their conversation to look at me.

"He just moved," I pointed shakily at Rusty. They looked at the dog. His head was back down, he was clearly motionless. My brain was immediately looking for explanation. Muscle spasms, bacteria or fungus known for aiding in reanimation, gasses, anything.

Lucky waddled over to investigate Rusty, and to everyone's shock, including Lucky's, Rusty stood, sniffing Lucky back loudly. We all froze. Rusty then moved to Tina, who sat still in unimaginable terror. Rusty moved soullessly, almost like a puppet. I was so unsettled and afraid. Because there was no soul, I knew he wouldn't recognize us and would easily attack.

I sat in a chair away from the bodies, scrambling for how he could have moved like that. "I think it... has something to do with.... the Order....." I spoke quietly. The leader exited our laundry room. I got the distinct feeling he heard me. I stood, and wordlessly headed up the stairs for my bed. I was panicking and just wanted to escape.

I woke up shaking.

Significant Symbols:

Friends: Most sites I researched believed that friends are common in dreams because they are present in our day. Others suggested there may be something about me that I am projecting on to them. It could be worries I carry for these friends.

Dim lighting: Although I believe this is one way I find there is a haunting (I believe entities draw energy from the lights, leaving them slightly dimmer), lights often represent clarity. Because they are dim, it represents partial clarity.

Ghost Hunting: I couldn't find anything on ghost hunting specifically, but I was talking about it with a friend earlier that day. I suspect that is why it appeared.

Haunting: Tends to mean something from your past is haunting you, not necessarily a ghost. More likely it is emotional or mental issues that are resurfacing.

Secret Government Agency: Appears to mean I feel trapped or like there is no escape from what governs me, be that emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual.

Order of the White Light/Good Light: I believe they were trying to just make ghostly connotations to gain my trust.

My house: A place of comfort and learning.

Wineglasses: Represent happiness and pregnancy. Cups often represent emotion as well, and because they were hanging upside down makes me think maybe an emotion was "spilled" or needs to be "spilled".

Playroom: A large room in my old house. I think it represents my childhood. Although I can't remember anything frightening happening to me in that room, but there is always this sense that I don't want to enter.

Breast Milk: Represents nurturing. Can also represent frustrations about dealing with someone childish.

Passed Away Animals: often represents success, and spiritual cleansing.

Dirt/soil: represents worries, emotional instability, blockages, misery, or difficulties.

Zombie dog: Some part of my life feels detached.

Laundry room: One of the places I am irrationally afraid of in my own home. I feel the man exiting from there was significant in that way.

Overall analysis:

I believe my subconscious is drawing attention to my Inner Child work. This is a type of self-therapy to be the parent your child self needed-- to scold the you who was bratty, or to just love and hold the you that needed love and reassurance.

I have found recently that I am experiencing blockages (I am imagining both spirituality and emotionally) due to things that have happened in my childhood. There are a lot of emotional symbols here. It feels like a, "you're doing a good job, but there is still a long way to go."

#sampai speaks #dream #nightmare #tw death #dream interpretation #dream journal #January 2nd 2020 #what even was this dream #😭

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bardicknowledgeblogger · 5 years

Text

RPG Minis Guide: Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica (Golgari)

Many roleplaying books (especially D&D and Pathfinder/Starfinder ones) come with sets of minis made specifically for them, that can be used for the iconic NPCs and prepared combats. But that doesn’t necessarily help for your specific character, or for any improv portions you have to make up in the game. And heaven forbid if you wanted to use the setting for more than that one game.

So I’m putting together a reference of minis that fit that setting that can be gathered from a variety of resources - if you feel like I miss anything relevant, please let me know and I will try to add it to the post! (for the sake of ease, I am not including the prepainted minis that are put out alongside these games)

I’m going to start with Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica, and break it down by each guild. Since there is a lot to pull from for each guild, I’m going to give each guild their own post.

The first one I wanted to focus on was Golgari. The Golgari Swarm was a big one to tackle, because with the varying “sects” of the golgari, there are a LOT of very different types of characters to work with - from Erstwhile zombies to Devkarin elves, with creatures ranging from gorgons to fungal abominations to insectoids, trolls, and more... it’s a lot of ground to cover!I doubt this list will be exhaustive, but it should at least be a good starting point and provide you with a decent pool to pull from.

So, without further ado, here is my line up for Golgari minis!

Warhammer Miniatures

These minis are not going to be quite the same scale as traditional D&D minis, so keep that in mind - and maybe buy smaller bases

Necromancer

Charnel Throne

Crypt Horrors/Flayers

Gobbapalooza

Fungoid Cave-Shaman Snazzgar Stinkmullett

Wizkids: Nolzur’s Marvelous Minis

72558: Spiders

72572: Phase Spider

72573: Troll

72637: Elf Ranger

72571: Ghouls

72642: Elf Druid

73393: Adult Remorhaz

73537: Blights

73535: Carrion Crawler

72641: Elf Druid

73392: Fomorian

73191: Medusas

73405: Myconid Adults

73403: Shambling Mound

73352: Thri-Kreen

Wizkids: Deep Cuts Unpainted Minis

73089: Swarm of Rats

73364: Wizard’s Room

73422: Pile of Bones & Entrails

Wizkids: Pathfinder Battles Deep Cuts Minis

73548: Ghouls

Reaper Miniatures

This is the longest list of minis to peruse, but should have PLENTY of choices!

14548: Bloodstone Beetle Lancer

14568: Bata, Beetle Rider Captain

14437: Bloodstone Gnome Priest and Familiar

14169: Dauron, Necropolis Hero

03042: Morrdha, Vampire Noble

03023: Worm Corpse

14502: Necropolis Ghast

03423: Cerberus, Hound of Hell

59020: Glom

77014: Zombies (3) - there are a ton of zombie packs, but I felt these lent themselves to being painted with the golgari aesthetic best

03736: Dread Wolves (2)

77369: Shadow - this is almost more of a Dimir thing, but there are technically some spirits that haunt the depths of Golgari territory, so... still works

03748: Lich

03841: Graveflesh Servant (female)

14485: Kurand The Everliving

14526: Necropolis Standard Bearer

77581: Mudgullet

77367: Spell Effect: Shadow Tentacles (2)

77394: Filth Beast

77226: Charnel Grub

77375: Mashaaf

03658: Ankheg

77032: Oxidation Beast

77136: Well of Chaos

50289: Hound of Tindalos

77006: Great Worm

02695: Fungus Patch

77345: Mushroom Men (3)

03041: Mushroom King

03580: Garzuhl, Mantis Man Ranger

03552: Klichik, Mantis Warrior

03142: Zizzix, Mantis Warrior

02902: Slithe Queen

02517: Hooked Terror

80043: Kulathi Right Handed (3) - These are for Chronoscope and have guns that you’d need to remove, but it’s pretty easy to do

80042: Kulathi Two Guns (3) - These are for Chronoscope and have guns that you’d need to remove, but it’s pretty easy to do

80041: Kulathi Left Handed (3) - These are for Chronoscope and have guns that you’d need to remove, but it’s pretty easy to do

77130: Vermin Beetle Swarm (2)

77129: Vermin Rat Swarm (2)

77128: Vermin Spider Swarm (2)

77127: Vermin Beetles

77126: Vermin Spiders (2)

77125: Vermin Scorpions

77321: Giant Cobra

03676: Giant Snake

77198: Barrow Rats (2)

77259: Fly Demon

77377: Toad Demon

77284: Zombie Ogre

77337: Giant Scorpion

77371: Basilisk

03773: Giant Centipedes (2)

03772: Giant Ticks (2)

03247: Nanuranidd, Dark Elf Sorcerer

14590: Liela Mordollwen, Dark Elf Sorceress

14630: Dramorion, Dark Elf Sorcerer

77123: Zalash, Dark Elf Assassin

03648: Kyrekia, Dragonthrall Mage

03180: Cadirith, Colossal Demonic Spider

03243: Swamp Shambler

14504: Saproling Warrior, Elf Adept

06202: Saproling Warriors (9)

03355: Bat Swarm

03422: Dire Crocodile

14595: Frost Wyrm

59031: Terrantula (2)

77025: Giant Spider

03050: Thelfoea, Medusa

14183: Aysa, Necropolis Solo

14150: Grave Horror, Necropolis Monster

02908: Undead Ooze

I hope someone out there finds this useful :p I’ll try to get to all the guilds in a relatively timely fashion. And after I do, if a lot of people seemed to like these I’ll do more!

#dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons #roleplaying games #rpg #miniatures #minis roundup #golgari #golgari swarm #ravnica #guildmaster's guide to ravnica #reaper minis #nolzur's minis #pathfinder minis #deep cuts minis #warhammer #age of sigmar

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facethroughthemirror · 5 years

Text

No Ready Cure

Chapter One

Characters: General Doyle, Locus, Dr. Grey Relationships: One-Sided Doyle/Locus

Lovesickness in two drastically different senses of the word. One of them is hopelessly in love, and that love is slowly killing them. The other, unfortunately, can only stand by and watch the object of their own affections choke to death on flower petals not meant for them. Or can they?

Please read tags for warnings!

For day four of @rvbrarepairweek, and crossposted on ao3!

[ I know I missed Day Three I’m working on a bonus that will be up in the next two to three hours ]

"Hey, uh, has your general always had that cough?"

Agent Washington is very perceptive, she’s noticed. And of course he would have noticed the general’s persistent cough. General Doyle tries to cover it, or at least stifle it, but it’s quite obvious that he’s trying not to cough. And he always has an excuse at the ready: a dry mouth or throat, dust, simply running out of air from talking. But some of his excuses make such little sense, it truly baffles her that anyone could possibly believe them.

It occurs to her that Agent Washington is still talking, so she continues to listen. "--nds really bad, there could be mold or something causing it. If it’s mold, we have to find the source--"

"Oh, it’s not mold! Or dust! Or any other outside irritant!" she chirps, pushing some of his hair out of the way to check how the site of his most recent procedure is healing. She nods, noting the progress, and releases his hair to scribble on her note-taking datapad. “And the altitude of the outpost isn’t high enough to cause trouble for someone wearing armor with built-in life support systems -- though even if it was , he’d be acclimated by now!”

"... okay, well, is it like… is he sick?"

"It isn’t allergies, asthma, bronchitis, congestive heart failure, coronary artery disease, drug overdose, emphysema, influenza , kidney disease, pertussis, pneumonia, pneumo thorax , pulmonary edema , neurogenic or otherwise, sepsis, or tuberculosis!" Emily’s grip tightens on her notepad, and she forces the corners of her mouth up into a wider grin behind her helmet. More than a few years ago, her face would have started hurting by now. Not anymore, though, actually, her face hurts more when she’s not smiling anymore. " But ! As his condition is not immediately life-threatening, and will never be contagious, and he is my superior officer, I can’t exactly compel him to allow me to treat it! I think he's a little intimidated by the recovery period, but it’s not like my medical wing is very bus y up here!"

"... oh. Hey uh... do you like... maybe want me to talk to him? Maybe try to convince him to let you help with… whatever it is?"

"You can if you’d like , but there’s simply no convincing him, I’m afraid! I’ve tried." She swears she can feel her notepad about to crack in her hands. "Now, is there anything else, Agent Washington?"

"... uh, no, I guess that’s it."

"Then you’re free to leave now!"

He hops up from the chair and snatches up his helmet from her desk, putting it back onto his head as he rushes out. Once the door closes behind him, she drops her notepad a little too carelessly onto the desktop, and sits down a little too hard in her chair.

It seems like only yesterday that the general had stumbled into her office, finally, to see her about his coughing, though it had been a couple of years now. She’d asked her standard questions, of course, going through her standard mental checklist as she gathered supplies to start taking vitals and doing a thorough check of the symptoms. A cough is the body’s response to an irritant in the throat, airways, or lungs, she’d told him. It’s the body forcing out the irritant by pushing air out of the lungs. It can happen without an actual irritant, it happens with dry throats sometimes too. Her first instinct had been to conclusively rule out pleural effusion first, in order to make sure General Doyle’s lungs weren’t just filling with fluid. However, the cause of his coughing had become apparent as soon as he’d taken off his helmet.

She’d only seen the illness during medical school, when during the time they’d spent on it and several other pulmonary illnesses, but there was no question as to what it was as she watched a collection of spit-shiny flower petals fluttered and tumbled to the ground, shaken out of his helmet.

There’s a number of names for it, but the most accepted name for it is "hanahaki disease," or, medically, "hanahaki-type pneumafytotrophy." As opposed to mycelium-type pneumafytotrophy, which she’s always found to be a misnomer, "pneuma mykitatrophy" would be more correct, considering how words work, the fact that fungi aren’t plants, and the fact that mycelium is a specific part of the fungus rather than a category of fungus. She’s been dying to lobby for a name-change on that front, considering mycelium and fungus proper aren’t the same and technically the name should be accurate. There could be "fungal-type pneuma mykitatrophy" and "mycelium-type pneuma mykitatrophy," but the civil war has sort of prevented her from pursuing anything official in terms of experimentation or publishing.

First referenced on Earth, hanahaki disease is attributed to a region called "Japan," she believes, similar to takotsubo cardiomyopathy, which had been identified in that region over five hundred and sixty years ago, in 1990. It’s been seen in other cultures, though, particularly close to the region of origin. No one is, apparently, entirely sure when the concept originated, and it was, allegedly, thought to be a fictional illness at first, but it had been discovered to be all too real. No one is entirely certain what causes it, but the most commonly-accepted theory is that it's a rare genetic mutation, possibly hereditary, that is usually entirely harmless. However, the going theory is that prolonged exposure to the hormones and other neurotransmitters produced by the anxiety of unexpressed emotion, in this case unrequited love, trigger the mutation to activate, and produce plant-like growths inside of the lungs. Incredibly plant-like, as a matter of fact, as they include functioning roots, and petals! Those roots usually grow into, and eventually, through, the lung tissue, and the growths cause so many complications!

"Well, the good news is that this condition is very treatable!"

"‘Treatable?’ Not curable?"

"Well, the possibility of regrowth exists, of course, but it’s not common! Unfortunately, if the affections aren’t returned, or if the growths aren’t removed, the disease will eventually become fatal!"

"And there’s no adverse side effects to the surgery?"

"Well, unfortunately, there is one noteworthy side effect. Your brain will no longer register that person in the same way: you will lose all ability to feel romantically attracted to them."

She’d explained his condition to him, in no uncertain terms, had even taken a few chest scans in order to verify the diagnosis. The growths can become starved and die if the body stops producing the substances that feed them, usually through the return of the feelings that originally caused them, removing some of the neurotransmitters from the cocktail. But the sadly more common treatment is surgery to remove the growths. It was actually a very easy fix. Honestly, treating fluid in the lungs would be far more difficult. But he had declined the easier of the two fixes.

That was fine, she supposed, he was well within his rights. That wasn’t what bothered her the most about the situation. What hurt, and made her angry all at the same time, that of all people, he was risking his life for…

"Doctor."

She looks up from where she’s been holding her head in her hands, eyes locking on the hulking, black-armored form of the Federal Army’s resident mercenary. She springs her false smile back into place, even though he can’t see it, and straightens up, though she owes him no such courtesy and they both know that.

"What can I do for you , Locus?"

"I’ve received word from the general. He has made it to Armonia safely."

"Oh, excellent! You know, I’m sure he would have called me himself, though! You really didn’t need to come all the way down here!"

"I thought you would like to know.”

“Mm. Well, I appreciate it all the same! Thank you very much.”

“I will be leaving soon to join him."

"Have a safe trip, then, Locus! … you can go now!"

Locus just turns on his heel and stalks out, as silently as ever. Like a particularly irritable housecat, as the general would say… sort of. He’d never call Locus irritable, but they’re all thinking it. She knows they are.

As soon as the door shuts behind the mercenary, Emily’s poor, abused notepad whips across the room, finally cracking and shattering against the door, dropping to the ground in a hopeless pile of pieces. She merely stares in the direction of the door with her hand still partially raised from the throw, some acidic emotion that she can’t immediately identify burning at the back of her throat.

It isn’t fair . General Doyle is the only person in the world who’s ever been so nice to her. He makes her feel warm inside, like glitter is exploding inside of her. No other person has ever made her feel that way before. He’s so nice to her, he cares about her, and she cares about him! He’s so very important to her, and she doesn’t want to see him get hurt, especially not like this.

They’ve been friends for years . She’d met him back when the brigadier had first called her into his office after Doyle had gotten a splinter and fainted upon trying to pull it out. She’d pulled the splinter out for him, gotten him back upright in his chair, and even made him a cup of peppermint tea to get him back to himself and settle his stomach. She’d come back to check on him later in the day, they’d gotten dinner, chatted. He started calling her directly whenever he felt sick from then on, started asking her to get meals whenever he thought she might not have eaten for awhile. They were looking out for each other.

Years . It’s been literal years. Years of kind words and medical priority, even before his promotion to general. Years of late night quarters- and office-calls, of anxiety attacks and stress rashes and stress-induced vomiting. Of insomnia and tea at three o’clock in the morning when he wandered down to her office for anything, anything at all, to help him sleep. Monitoring blood pressure and racing heartbeats and reassuring him that he isn’t dying and he’ll be just fine in just a few moments and would he please try to take some deep breaths before he starves himself of oxygen again and passes out?

Why does it have to be Locus ? Locus has no feelings! He doesn’t talk to anyone! He clearly doesn’t care about General Doyle! He’s not worth choking to death over! She can’t let her friend do that to himself! Her friend is suffering for someone who doesn’t even notice, and that makes her so indescribably furious. The person she cares about more than anyone else is poisoning himself on such toxic emotion and it breaks her heart to see him do so without even understanding that he’s hurting himself so badly. He can’t see it, but she can.

Some days, she just wants to--

Her arm finally drops, wrist smacking against the edge of her desk on the way down with a crack that would be terrifying if it hadn’t just been the sound her armor’s impact against the well-worked surface. No. She’s a doctor. She can’t do that. And if she did, what would General Doyle think of her then? He’d hate her. He would hate her, and she can’t take that chance. And she’s sure that he would know her handiwork, or she’d be so unable to keep a secret from him that she’d blurt out what she’d done. What’s more, he’d be so upset that Locus was gone. Locus, the menace, makes him feel safe and she can’t take that away from him without being immediately able to step in and take his place.

… it’s alright. It’s alright, she’ll… just keep treating him. She’ll just keep doing her best to keep him comfortable. Maybe he’ll come to his senses and see that Locus isn’t right for him, doesn’t love him, and he’ll let her remove those filthy parasites once and for all! Then his feelings for Locus would be gone! The problem would be solved!

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crazyspookies · 5 years

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ZRS7M16-19

All these serve the very specific purpose of 1) me yelling about stuff and 2) Collecting All the Clues to keep them in mind (so that i can yell later)

M16

1) “Turn on fans, stop zombies.” I still don’t understand this. I guess it will be useful at some point in the future but it sounds so...dumb? You can stop the zombies byt putting an insane amount of air in front of them??? Do random zombies in the wild suddenly stop when it gets really windy??? How did veronica even find this out, why would anyone make this kind of experiment it just sounds so random. Like if original v-types were the viking ones, it would make more sense that the things we got to make the antidote for sigrid’s zombie variant, would still be effective. You know, the fungus and the flowers and the grail of blood??? Which seems to be the original methods that worked with the zombies to a certain degree?? Like, original zombie virus rolls in, causes a huge ruckus, humanity isn’t destroyed and all those vikings end up in caves, sleeping. How did they do that, what happened there.

2) VERONICA MCSHELL: It’s hard to admit when you feel like a part of you is missing.

NADIA AL HANAKI: I understand that. I understand better than anyone! But just because something’s missing doesn’t mean you’re less than. You just have to find a way to work with it. I did.

VERONICA MCSHELL: I was… embarrassed. I thought I knew what this experience would be like. I chose it. But without the resources ANNIE once had, there are limits to my processing power. I’m not sure what I’m worth.

IM NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

3) “Some fish use their skin receptors to track the location of the things they need. I’m studying on weather patterns to see if wind has an effect on a larger scale.” Guess this makes sense? It’s been a long time since i’ve played (and since i’ve played this) so my mental clue wall is a bit rusty but then again those zombies seem to be not only intelligent but seem to work together so hive mind sounds more like the thing. Were the zombies capable of being organized back in viking times? what. is. going. on

M17

1) “Still treating the country like a giant game of Risk with your ex” Yeah and i am full of untrusty feelings about it and i know i’m gonna get fucked by both and not in a good way

2) “I keep telling you people, Brent’s vulnerable. Now is the time to make alliances against him before everybody’s on his side. Janine’s blind if she can’t see that” Maybe she thinks you’re incredibly untrustworthy because you are, in fact, incredibly untrustworthy. I mean, anyone amelia thinks she has to wanr people about is def. a shithole i don’t want to get my foot near to but it’s not like like her word is worth much yakno *squinty eyes*

3) “Barb and Harley, they said they only joined the Riders because they didn’t trust any settlement telling them things were going to get better.”

SAM YAO: Oh, what? So they settled for looting, arson, and pillaging instead?

KYTAN: Look, the Riders are mostly just lost kids. They look around the world, and all they see is a wasteland full of backstabbing factions. A lot of them really think this is a more honest way to live.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Well, let’s not forget, these are the people who almost blew up Parliament. And fed zombie blood to ravers for a laugh. And tried to raid the Long Way Home convoy, which was actually full of lost children.

I’m with sam with this one. Like, there’s only so much sympathy i can give to “lost” people who decide that murdering innocent people that are trying to survive in a shitty situation, turning them into zombies and getting children killed just because they want “chaos”. Which is not much at all. I understand some where roped into it and wanted to get out and didn’t know how but that’s not everyone you know. And not everyone joined the gang at it’s origin either.

7) ” The Riders want to take Nadia on a rabbit hunt as an initiation”

Me looking at s2s knowing that they know that i know what’s going to happen

(Prediction: rabbits are PEOPLE and five’s going to end up being the rabbit i know this from deep in my bones)

8) SAM YAO: Uh, uh, yeah. It’s uh… hold on, it’s on my desk. [paper rustles]” Babe....

9) “Five, did you notice that one of the Riders has a tattoo of your head on a spike? “

11) “You could pop up in front of them and lure them away from the poor innocent town“

12) “Off the top of my head, we could let them kill Five.” i feel so loved in this chili’s today

13)” Run, rabbit, run! “ i just had a flashback that reminded me that in the airdrop missions the guy from mullins gave five the codename Rabbit and i’m not sure what to do with this information but here it is.

M18

1) “Janine thinks the rave was a trial run. There’s a Peace UK movement that’s running cross-settlement events to try to get people working together. There’ll be talks and parties.” oh boy. Like, very nice and all but you know.

2) “I saw one scalp his best friend yesterday. They were reenacting a scene from Inglourious Basterds. Didn’t realize it would actually work.”

3) STEVE SISSAY: Sorry. After you.

KEFILWE LOBATSE: No, please. Go ahead.

Well this is akward

4) FIRST GUARD: Mates? Mates? What makes you think we’re mates?

STEVE SISSAY: No, I – I just meant -

afsdfsghafhdghaf

5) “someone or something called The Method” i feel like it will be important at some point in the future but i keep forgetting about it

6) STEVE SISSAY: I’m doing great, love. I mean, as great as a bloke who got dumped on live radio can possibly be.

KEFILWE LOBASTE: If you hadn’t been so sure you knew what I’d say, you wouldn’t have put yourself in that position. Honestly, proposing on public radio? What were you thinking?

7) KEFILWE LOBATSE: That. That’s why. Because you have to know best about everything, except the things that matter.

STEVE SISSAY: Oh.

8) STEVE SISSAY: That’s why I love you. I do, you know. I – I love you.

KEFILWE LOBATSE: I know.

You know it’s strange to have this whole conversation at this moment becausei kinda sounded like they had def broken up when we went through the CATS nightmare fuel trip and some parts of this conversation sounded both like “this is over over” and “if we had talked about the problems of our relationship properly then maybe things would be different so maybe there’s hope in the future” and it’s a bit confusing.I liked that ship but i guess we must move on..

9) NADIA AL HANAKI: Was that it? I’ve guffed more explosively than that.“ adfadghsfh

10) “Two of them bumped into each other and now they’ve started a knife fight.” this is horrifying but kind of hilarious???

11) [Runner Five tackles CARRIER]

KEFILWE LOBASTE: That was very… athletic, Five.

Five:

12) “ A briefing document, copied. It says, “When you get the signal, go to the most crowded part of your settlement and take the pill. The end is coming. A gray wave will wash over the world, and nothing living will remain.” “

M19

1) “PAULA COHEN: Oh, because self-destruction is so this season.” Never stop being a sassy queen paula

2) “We just wanted to play with it, all [imitates squeal] and that.“

3) “The V-types bite corpses, and then turn them into ghouls. That’s what we call the yellow eyes. And then you said the ghoul went sleepy and growly? It must have been turning full V-type.“ well, we’re fucked. Considering the amount of corpses that the v-types can get their greedy lilttle hands on by basically stepping into ANY DAMND GRAVEYAND AND DIGGING A BIT this really is...not good at all.

4) At least we don’t have to worry about the raiders anymore i guess?

5) “SAM YAO: I’ll talk to Amelia. I think she’s got a contingency for a breakout in New Canton. Involves dumping a ton of concrete from aircraft. “ Leave it to amelia to make me laugh

#zombies run #zrs7 spoilers #fennel's zr recaps

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nflfanpointii · 5 years

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40 is the new 35 when it comes to NFL quarterbacks like Tom Brady and Drew Brees

Back in the day, it was less common for quarterbacks to excel past their mid 30’s. Sure, there was Warren Moon, Vinny Testaverde, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, and John Elway. But that short list is dwarfed by a painfully longer one filled with Hall of Fame quarterbacks who seemed to crap out well short the 40 year marker.

Even these all time greats experienced precipitous drop offs in their mid to late 30’s. For Roger Staubach, Steve Young and Fran Tarkenton, it came at 37. For Bart Starr, Jim Kelly, Dan Marino and Dan Fouts, 36. For Johnny Unitas, George Blanda, Bob Griese, Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw, 35. For Otto Graham, Joe Namath, and Troy Aikman, 34.

This makes it all the more amazing that so many older quarterbacks are still playing at an elite level in today’s NFL. There might very well be five to seven future Hall of Famers starting in the league right now. Tom Brady and Drew Brees are officially in their 40’s. Philip Rivers and Ben Roethlisberger are both 36. Aaron Rodgers is 34 and Matt Ryan is 33; and both signed extensions in the past couple years at times in their careers when former quarterbacks usually retired.

It’s true, quarterbacks are more protected by the rules of the NFL than ever before, and this certainly has played a part in their new found longevity. In 1978, the league restricted contact between defensive backs and receivers to within five yards of the line of scrimmage. This resulted in a dramatic increase in passing attempts per game, which in turn suddenly made the quarterback position more valuable.

Since 1993, quarterbacks could simply escape the pocket and throw a pass out of bounds without incurring an intentional grounding penalty. This made it harder for pass rushers to get to them before they got rid of the ball, therefore avoiding a sack or quarterback hit.

Roughing the passer penalties have become more and more common as the definition has broadened to include late hits, forcible hits below the knee, hitting the helmet, and landing on the quarterback with one’s own body weight.

Last year, former Packers linebacker Clay Matthews was flagged twice for roughing the passer while making what seemed to be perfectly executed sacks. Ironically, it was probably a hit on Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers the previous season that may have led to the rule change that cost the Packers two victories a season later.

One would think that with these modern day quarterbacks dropping back more times throughout a game than ever before, their careers would be shorter, not longer. That’s why I think there’s more to it than the implementation of more rules that inherently protect the quarterback.

Because they played before GMO’s and modern day fast food chains, many old school players of the past had access to better food. But that doesn’t mean they took full advantage of their timely access to healthier lives. Joe Namath smoked cigarettes on the sidelines for god’s sake.

I doubt they were paying attention to the pH of their foods like Tom Brady or paying upwards of $200K a year like James Harrison did on therapy treatments like massage and acupuncture. The modern day athlete has to be almost obsessive in their quest for success. Talent alone won’t cut it anymore if you want to stick around in today’s NFL.

Extremely strict diets, fitness, and recovery programs have taken the place of binge eating like Babe Ruth, snorting cocaine like Diego Maradona, and binge drinking like Lawrence Taylor. The two oldest current quarterbacks in the NFL also happen to keep two of the strictest diet and fitness regimens across all sports.

Drew Brees has been working with Todd Durkin in San Diego, CA since his days with the Chargers. Brees loves working with Durkin every offseason. “Whenever I come back for the summertime to get in the best shape of my life for training camp, he’s always got something new or a few new things that make me feel like we’re way ahead of everybody else.”

What’s interesting to me, however, is that even though Brees isn’t Durkin’s biggest, fastest, or most agile athlete, he may have benefited the most simply because he’s willing to work harder than everyone else. And that’s saying a lot considering Durkin’s vast client list also includes Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, Darren Sproles, LaDainian Tomlinson, Mark Sanchez, Alex Smith, Brandon Cooks, Reggie Bush, Charles Tillman, Zach Ertz, John Brown, Dontrelle Inman, Malcom Floyd, Ryan Griffin, Chase Daniel, Sean Canfield, Josh Freeman, and my fellow Saints Ignatius College Prep alumnus, Igor Olshansky.

”Drew Brees, first and foremost, is a special person. I will probably not have the opportunity to work with a guy like that in the next 20 years. His concentration and focus are amazing, and he works extremely hard. He’s not the biggest guy or the fastest guy, but he’s going to beat you with his athleticism, his smarts and because he’s such a competitor. I don’t care what it is, the dude wants to win at anything. He’s always restless and never satisfied,” said Durkin.

Brees is absolutely methodical in his training and game preparation. “I know where I’m going to be at a specific time,” he says. “I know what I’m going to be doing; I know what needs to be accomplished for me to feel confident and go out there and play at the highest level.”

His focus has shifted from the archaic meathead approach to training he learned in college at Purdue to a more functional and efficient approach. “I think maybe those [exercises] served the purpose at the time.” Drew says. “But now I’ve wised up to the things that I need to do in a position-specific and functional fitness kind of way to benefit me as a quarterback.”

If you have 30 minutes to kill, watch this video of Brees’ workouts with Durkin.

I’ve been a fitness trainer and instructor for 12 years and I’m telling you, Durkin is the real deal. I love his approach to fitness. I stopped lifting heavy weights years ago and have focused more on agility ladder work, TRX training, yoga, and generally maximizing my strength and endurance gains while also minimizing sheering forces on my joints, tendons, and ligaments.

Tom Brady takes his fitness protocol in an even more holistic, and dare I say, Eastern direction. He and his trainer/business partner Alex Guerrero founded the TB12 training facility next to Gillette Stadium in 2013. Guerrero, though highly controversial, isn’t a total quack in my opinion.

Of course claiming his supplements could curemultiple sclerosis, AIDS, concussions, and other diseases with no shred of testing or evidence based proof was incredibly disingenuous and downright dangerous. Settling with multiple investors out of court for defrauding them is no better either.

But I have to hand it to him: he has kept Tom Brady in phenomenal shape to survive and thrive in the NFL past the age of 40. Guerrero earned a Masters Degree in traditional Chinese medicine from a school in LA that closed after losing its’ accreditation. He is not a physical therapist and does not hold any Western degrees that would qualify him to do a lot of the work he does with his clients.

Yet, Guerrero is highly respected and retained by many professional athletes including Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman, Wes Welker, Danny Amendola, Willie McGinest, Jimmy Garoppolo, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Chris Hogan. Instead of focusing on lifting huge weights and tearing muscle fibers, Guerrero prescribes more body weight moves and exercises with resistance bands that are designed to increase the muscles’ “pliability.”

Brady often sees Guerrero twice daily and receives intensely specific massages in which he tenses the muscles while Guerrero massages them. The goal is to lengthen the muscles and increase their flexibility so that Brady can withstand the weekly car crash that is an NFL football game.

The other main focus is to reduce inflammation in the body by maintaining a strict diet. Brady does not eat white flour, white sugar, MSG, iodized salt, coffee, caffeine, alcohol, fungus, dairy, nightshade vegetables and most types of fruit. This diet may sound strange, but it’s most likely derived from the Ayurvedic tradition which is over 5,000 years old and trusted throughout Asia as much as we trust Western medicine.

The part where Brady and Guerrero lose me is by making sweeping statements like everyone should drink 25 glasses of water a day, or eat this exact diet, or that everyone needs to consume TB12 branded electrolytes or wear TB12 branded muscle recovery pajamas.

I’m not 6’4” and 230lbs; I’m 5’6” and 130lbs, so I don’t need more than 65 ounces of water a day, unless Tom wants me to get hyponatremia and die of brain damage. Don’t just replicate a professional athlete’s diet and fitness regimen. These have been specially tailored to them. If you work for Google and sit at a desk for eight hours a day, you probably shouldn’t eat and drink exactly what Tom Brady does.

It’s okay to be skeptical too. Brees isn’t much more trust-worthy with his shameful peddling of Advocare products. It’s important to rely on evidence-based research conducted by independent bodies without a financial stake in the products they test. Even more important, think for yourself and do your own research before listening to athletes that have a financial stake in the health philosophies they are sharing with the public.

If you aren’t hip to eating according to your Ayurvedic dosha (My dosha is roughly 70% Pitta, 20% Vata, 10% Kapha) like Brady seems to, you can go the Western route and still learn something about how to function at a higher level, no matter what your lifestyle is. Drew and Brittney Brees got food sensitivity blood tests done back in 2004. That’s when Brees found he had significant sensitivities to gluten, dairy, and certain nuts.

“As you can imagine, I was shocked because I was consuming most of these things every day. And just to think how long I’ve had these sensitivities and had continued to feed them. Guys coming in fresh out of college are used to going to the training table and eating and drinking whatever they’re given.”

“In many cases, I see myself as a veteran player – pulling those young guys aside and, as part of teaching young players how to be a pro, talking to them about their diet, their sleep habits and their recovery. They’ll start to ask questions like, ‘Hey Drew, what do you do?’ That’s when I explain to them that I use coconut milk and almond milk products.”

It’s not just Brees’ direct teammates like Reggie Bush, Sean Canfield, Chase Daniel, Brandin Cooks, and Ryan Griffin who have followed his lead when it comes to diet and fitness. “It took the fourth or fifth time hearing, ‘You need to do this,’ and then reading about Drew Brees and Tom Brady and others who are your peers doing it,” Kirk Cousins said. “I realized, ‘If I want to hang with these guys, then it’s time to stop playing around.’”

18 of the 32 quarterbacks starting in the NFL are over 30 years old, and by September that list will grow to 21 with the 30th birthdays of Cam Newton, Tyrod Taylor, and Andrew Luck. Even though five quarterbacks were drafted in the first round last year, there’s a good chance less than a third of the starting quarterbacks in the league will be younger than 30 years old.

40 might be the new 35, and it’s not just because of some changes in the rules. Players are spending highly on optimizing their health and performance through a multitude of practices both new and incredibly old. Cousins is right, it’s time to stop playing around.

#saints #new orleans saints #nfl #nola no call #mission miami #csc.com

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mageskitchen · 6 years

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Codex Entry; Yeast, Baking Soda, Baking Powder

So this thing is ridiculously long and silly and the grammar of it is purposefully a mess and unedited, but I tried to keep it interesting. It’s done in a style meant to be more conversational so it can seem a little erratic at times. Also, if I goofed on anything here accuracy wise, let me know so I can fix it.

I'm going to learn y'all a thing. So gather around my brilliant apprentices because Doc is gonna to talk about yeast and baking soda+baking powder in baking. How they work, the difference, and when you usually use them. I'm a huge nerd, so be ready for a touch of science in this lesson...okay, a lot of science but don't worry, I tried to keep it descriptive and interesting so that you're not reading something with a billion technical terms because I'm not here for academic elitist crap.

For simplicity, we're only going to talk about active dry yeast and not the others because it's cheap and easy to find at the store. No, really. The stuff isn't even a dollar at the grocery store and can come in packs of three.

Anyway.

So numerous types of yeast are found in food, on your skin, on plants, the air, soil, and more. These funky fungi are everywhere, but the ones used for baking are affectionately dubbed "sugar-eating fungus." Why? Because they help in fermentation in the breaking down of glucose specifically in food. Do you want CO₂ and a little alcohol? Bust out the yeast and something that has glucose in it and let these lovely lads do their thing while swimming in the perfect temperature bath. It's a ten-course meal and spa day for them, and you make their short life glorious.

But you can't just have something with sugar in it. You need lukewarm water to rehydrate them. Not hot, not cold.

Think of it like waking up. You don't want someone bursting into your room, flipping the lights on in your face and yanking the covers off to let the cold air in while shouting "get off your lazy butt and greet the day you lil fudger." It's just rude, and you'll be less inclined to do what they want. You'll scowl, grumble, maybe even throw a pillow at them, but you're not going to get up and do your thing without a fight. Or, they'll scare you so badly with their hot rage that you die of shock.

If it's too cold, like a person, they're not going to come out from under those covers, or if they do, they're going to be dragging their feet the whole way. If you use hot water, like, scalding, you're just crisping them, and then they're useless. However, if you want your bread to be less dense, you'll use cold water. Not ice water, but cold-ish.

That's what's up with yeast. You get the water too hot, and you'll damage them. Get them too cold, and they ain't coming out to play. You gotta rehydrate them gently, with some TLC. Give them just a little sugar to coax them out of their dreamless sleep. It's like that first cup of coffee in the morning.

The same thing happens with baking soda and baking powder. The pair create the same gaseous effect to make the dough rise. Just note that, in most baking recipes, outside of your basic breads, many baked goods are gonna be like, "yeah, mix that flour, salt, baking powder or baking soda; let's get crap done ASAP, y'all. Yeehaw MF."

But back to our swell lads.

The sugary substance you use for yeast doesn't have to be granulated sugar. You can use honey, maple syrup (natural), fruit juices (all juice and not processed crap) if you wish. If I'm making a loaf of bread that I want to have a lighter, sweet undertone, I'll use honey rather than regular sugar. I've never tried the syrup or juice so idk but y'all do you. Basically, so long as it has natural glucose, you should be good to go.

Oh, and note that these packets of yeast have expiration dates, but they have a decent shelf life and can last a little longer than the date.

Anyway, so as they go to town on that sweet, sweet deliciousness that you served them, they're creating the gasses CO₂ and alcohol.

You know that bad girl Gluten? Yeah, she ain't all bad. She's like a fanfiction writer who wants to smoosh her OTP together, that OTP being the dough and the gasses. She traps them in the closet after luring them in with promises of good things to work out the kinks in their relationships, and left them to sort things out for the rest of their short, uneaten lives. Things get a little heated and boom, bread's rising faster than the water of a well in a thriller movie. That's how you get the air bubbles, by the way.

So that's how yeast works.

Now let's talk about baking soda and baking powder more in-depth and how these kind ladies do their darn jobs better than you could ever hope to.

Like yeast, they create gasses that force the dough to rise with air bubbles, and their girl Gluten steps in to lend a hand by keeping things together because that's what friends are for.

So, for baking soda, she likes a little acid. She lives for that burning sensation, and that's what helps her make gasses in foods; you can use anything from juice to honey to give her, a basic pH substance, an acidic boost to get things moving because she won't do a thing without that acid. And her buddy baking powder is a mix of baking soda and an acidic substance; you can make your own at home, but that's for another day.

These ingredients won't activate without water. If you just have a powdery mix, nothing will happen. Add a little liquid to it, and you've got yourself a room full of hot air right here.

So what makes them different from yeast? They get the job done, and they get it done quickly. Yeast takes time to eat; it savors the glucose. Baking powder and baking soda ain't got time for that. They've got things to do so they prefer fast food. Because of how quickly they do things, they're saved for what people will call "quick breads," like banana bread, cornbread, etc.

A neat thing about baking powder is that it has two steps in its chemical reaction. The initial rising when the presence of a liquid activates it, and then once it's heated. This is why my muffin batter doesn't rise in the bowl but does once I toss them into the oven. Heavens above, I love banana muffins.

Baking soda can leave behind a slightly bitter taste to the food, especially because of the acidic ingredients you have to choose from, like buttermilk for instance. Like, y'all gotta make buttermilk biscuits or cookies. That very slight zip to them is the baking soda and acidic ingredient (molasses in my mom's cookies) used in the recipe.

Baking powder is milder, and you would use more basic fluids like milk. So, you'll find it in your cakes and non-buttermilk biscuits. Usually. It doesn't leave behind as much of an acidic undertone. However, it will if you use too much because there's still an acidic ingredient found in powder.

Make sure you sift/mix them and the other dry ingredients as evenly as possible so that the mixture will have an even reaction throughout the dough/batter. That's only one reason why you don't immediately mix the dry and wet ingredients together; you don't want these ladies to get a head start on their work without all of the necessary tools. Also, don't over stir or you'll beat/stir out the bubbles, which means that crap ain't rising.

A last note about baking powder, there are two types, and different recipes may call for one or the other, but it's not important at the moment.

ANYWAY, so that's baking powder+baking soda and yeast for you.

Congrats class, you somehow managed to keep up with this hot mess of a lecture and made it to the end.

#baking #bread #cooking #yeast #baking powder #baking soda #codex entry #food #cake #cookies #biscuits #rpg cooking #mine #not a quest post #long post #funny #adventures in baking #tbh I was curious and made this post bc I went looking for information on it while making something earlier #I'm just sharing what I found

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years

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Crypha Castan

@persephoneanmystery

(Okay, so we’re getting into “writer’s special interest” themed trolls I guess? If I get too technical, just let me know! She’s kind of… flat. I think her concept is so well defined that I have trouble deviating from it to flesh her out. You ready for six straight Prospit dreamers? I… don’t think I am. Let’s go!)

Her character and theme is definitely really straight forward and tightly knit. I don’t know if I’d describe her as flat, though! Still, I’ll play around in the guts of her profile to see if we can tug anything out.

Universe: Beforus!

Name: Crypha Castan

“Crypha” comes from Cryphonectria parasitica, the fungus that causes Chestnut Blight! It’s one of my favorite named fungi because “Cryphonectria” just… sounds like a good super villain name. “Castan”, perhaps fittingly, is from Castanea dentata, the American Chestnut, a reference to this one’s ability to just… absolutely devastate things when she puts her mind to it.

I love this a lot. Ruthless and destructive, a true blight. Ready to bring the world down. This also reminds me of an analysis of 1984- a fun fact about chestnuts is that they’re a symbol of honesty and justice, but in the book their repeated reference is used to symbolize the mutation of from the old world order of justice to new world order of injustice. Maybe I’m just flaunting my AP skills here, but the historical literature linking of chestnuts and totalitarian regimes is a fun note here!

Age: Roughly 7 Sweeps

Theme/Story: Crypha’s always been a leader since the day she was spawned, she likes to say. Something of a genius when it comes to keeping things alive, she decided to study to become a naturalist. She runs her lab (that she likely shouldn’t have but… details) with an iron fist, and her understudies know better than to get in her way. Once Crypha sets her mind to something, there’s no stopping her. Her lab’s focus? Molds, creeping and blanketing.

Strife Specibus: Flaskkind

Crypha doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, but when push comes to shove, the girl can whip up a mean cocktail. She’s tried acid, explosives, mind control pheromones… All of em have some efficacy when applied directly to a fool’s forehead.

I love that. Very rude, to just splash something in someone’s face. Excellent fighting strategy, though.

Fetch Modus: Hangman

Crypha keeps her modus relatively simple, but it’s got a twist. She can’t ever choose what item she’s taking out. The hangman just simply gives her the amount of letters in the item’s name. She sometimes just memorizes everything that’s in there as a mental exercise. If the man is hung, her item is crushed and thrown out at her.

Blood color: Cerulean/Blue

Crypha certainly embodies the blueblooded idea of “doing the most harm”. She’s ambitious and devoted, and she knows she’s good what she does. In fact, she often believes that there’s nobody else out there that can do it her way! This leads to her underestimating everyone around her, and overestimating her ability. Atop of this, she’s seethingly jealous of anyone she thinks is getting credit for something she’s good at, and therefore she should be doing. Really, the worst combination of traits for a PI.

Symbol and meaning: Perhaps ironically-

SCORSCI, THE FIXER

Trolltag: [AA] adamantineAscomycete

“Adamantine” is a mythical kind of metal (I’ve often seen it in video games as a sort of off-blue color to boot) that’s impossible to break. Crypha believes herself to be impenetrable, hence the tag. To avoid going all mycologist up in here, “Ascomycetes” as a type of fungus with a wide set of traits (mostly defined my shapes of fruiting bodies and types of sexual stages and-) that many plant pathogens are grouped under. Both Cryphonectria and Cordyceps are Ascomycetes!

Beautifully fitting.

Quirk: Crypha talks like a damn saturday morning cartoon villain, always capitalizing her M’s and laughing ominously at the end of her sentences hehehehehe….

Special Abilities (if any): While she possesses the classic Cerulean Mind Control powers, Crypha has fine tuned hers into a weapon of mass destruction. Or so she thinks. One of her biggest experiments is being able to turn fungal spores that affect insects into ones that can affect Trolls. She’s been successful, but it has drawbacks. She has to craft them beforehand, but once directed they’re relatively easy to program. The problem is once she turns them on, the troll in question is helpless to do ANYTHING she hasn’t programmed. She has to be incredibly specific in what she says or it could be interpreted by the troll’s “inferior brain” as something else.

I know I helped brainstorm this idea, but it’s still so cool and the drawback is so fun to imagine in action. And her frustration when things just don’t go her way? Beautiful.

Lusus: Crypha’s been told it’s a great honor to have a Leafcutter Queen as a Lusus. She doesn’t really see the appeal. She doesn’t do a lot of like, parenting. She just sits and eats fungus all day and hatches the mindless workers that actually do the day to day work around their massive underground fungus garden of a hive. She has to give her a little credit though- her Lusus certainly ignited her love of mold, taught her the importance of letting the grunts handle the labor, and has given her basically infinite specimens to experiment on! The amount of ant corpses outside her hive that have been overgrown with parasitic fungus is… too damn many.

It’s no wonder she’s interested in picking up a higher place on the hierarchy, considering she’s got such a ruling class mother. The ant thing gives me another idea, though…

Interests: Mycology, Pathology (Specifically of Insects, like Trolls), Bartender Mixology, The Ethics of World Domination, The Ecological Necessity of The Hemospectrum, High Society Rules of Engagement

We can probably add a mild biology interest just because she’s working with implementing mind control on Physical Beings. And maybe she could be just a little interested in Marine Parasitology. Y’know, just in case seadwellers start frustrating her plans.

Appearance: Crypha is never seen anywhere without her lab coat and goggles. Always gotta practice good laboratory practices, even in the field! ….Even at home. Her wardrobe is intentionally spartan and plain, she doesn’t like colors outside of grey and black. Even Cerulean is a bit too bright for her eyes. She loves turtleneck sweaters more than she’d like to admit, and her hair is always a mess because she very rarely styles it. She just pulls it back to keep it away from her equipment. She’s always got this oddly faraway look to her- like she’s not looking at you, she’s looking through and past you. It’s deeply unnerving.

Personality: Crypha’s a dreamer and an ambitious dreamer. It’s not enough for her to just think about doing amazing things; she intends to go out and make them a reality. The problem is that her big plans are of subjugation and control. She wants an army of mindless but well-trained zombies to do her bidding. What bidding? She… hasn’t gotten that far yet. As someone so obsessed with protocol and propriety as she is, it’s odd that she doesn’t always think so far ahead. She never knows just what she’s going to do with the things she makes and achieves. She just knows that she wants them, and she wants them now, so god damn her if she’s not going to have them NOW. Crypha doesn’t really have “friends” because she’s not the kind of person who would want them. To her, there are people who are beneath you, people who should be beneath you, and Crypha herself. It hasn’t escaped the notice of many of the people around her that she’s insufferable and somewhat scatterbrained, but if you cross her, watch out! That girl can turn from zero to six thousand degrees Kelvin in an instant.

Most of my recommendations are going to come in here, since you’re dissatisfied… so I’ll talk about the idea that the ants gave me here, I guess! So, you know how worker ants are called “Drones?” Well….. I was thinking about what you said, about her attempting to Destroy Through Life, and how she hasn’t quite gotten that down yet. So on top of the attempts to take control of people’s brains, maybe you could give her a pointed interest in trying to craft new creatures? The drones are a tool of the hierarchy and help out the people who are above her, after all. So maybe she makes a habit of nabbing any that come out her way and experimenting on them in some interesting ways? Ways that usually involve failure and/or destruction, but still. It’d be a way of creating doom, actively tearing these things apart. I’m just thinking… weird, smushed together creatures like the Amalgamates in undertale. Hell, maybe she even grabs a troll corpse or two to throw into the mix every once in a while. Her hive is a little bit nightmare fuel.

Maybe you could expand that temper and make her a little prone to histrionics? Just because she wants things her way and she wants them NOW, and she’s not so fond of when other people’s needs are put above her own, and it’s not fair, it’s not FAIR-. What I’m saying is maybe she could be the fit-throwing type, a gracelessness that kind of embarrasses her afterwards but it feels a bit necessary when her emotions are running high and her prospitan emotionalism meets her scorpio intensity meets her life-i-ness.

Title: Prince of Life

Active Classes That Remain: Maid, Witch, Thief, Prince,

Passive Classes That Remain: Sylph, Page

Princes dance around using their Aspect because they are so innately tied to their Aspect’s opposite. Crypha’s a wonderful example of when a Prince goes power mad. She’s a destroyer of deviation, a destroyer of innovation. She rules her lab with an iron fist, refusing to let any opinions or facts reach her ears that didn’t come from her own mouth, even when it’s to her detriment. She’s surrounded by death and decay, the end of Life, the inevitable Doom of all things.

She’s not a true Doom player, of course. That ego and self-centered streak of hers is all Life, all the time. Crypha is so certain that she knows what’s best for literally everyone that she wants to program their brains with mind control spores and puppet them like some kind of biological marionette show. She destroys their Lives through another form of Life.

Like any good Prince, she rejects anything to do with her Aspect subconsciously. She’s a stickler for rules and restrictions, and sets those upon herself as much as she does everyone else. She’s much better at the whole “Destroying Life” part than she is at the “Destroying Through Life” part, but she’s getting there. And woe betide anyone who gets caught in the aftermath of that.

I LOVE this for her.

Land: The Land of Forests and Overflow

Crypha’s hive gets picked up and thrown at the ground, destroying a set of ancient looking redwood trees in the process. They extend all the way towards the the featureless, white sky, and it is here that Crypha realizes she has a really big fear of wide, open spaces. She retreats into her hive as thunder rumbles, and then that same sky opens and rain comes pouring out.

Her hive is swept away like a leaf in the river, as a deluge is unleashed upon the world. This is no ordinary monsoon, this is something biblical and world ending. It drives Crypha insane immediately. What kind of season is this? This doesn’t make any sense!

She must leave her hive immediately if she is to get anywhere. The corpses of ants surround her and something pings in her mind. Soon, she’s paddling around on an exoskeleton raft, using a leg as a oar, composing rules for proper boating as she does so. Something is drowning this place, doing as it pleases.

It needs to learn its place in the hierarchy.

Dream Planet: Prospit

Prospit Dreamers tend to be a bit bubbly, energetic, and optimistic people. Crypha is none of those. She’s not a Dersite because she possesses none of Derse’s dissatisfaction. She believes that she is the best, and that’s how the world works. She doesn’t question it, she merely goes with it. She’s the kind of person that if she doesn’t have a defined set of rules for how the world should work around her, she panics- flailing and gasping for air.

She also seems like she could secretly be the capricious type, so it fits.

Design:

Horns: I wanted them to look a bit like antennae and a bit like pictures of cordyceps sprouting off of nats, so I gave them some protrusions and caps. I usually don’t do this many branches, but this was an aesthetic exception.

Hair: I wanted to make it as messy as you’d said, so there’s lots of flippy and overlapping clashing bits. I put her hair up in a bun to keep it out of the way, but also because I could vaguely make the bun look like an ant butt.

Goggles: I edited them from Eridan’s glasses if I’m being honest. I tinted them with Cerulean just to put that barest pop of color in there.

Eyes: I wanted to make sure her pupils were small for that faraway, creepy look. I gave her really low set eyebrows so she could look slightly Villainous.

Mouth: I wanted to make her look mildly smug and gave her some teeth shaped a bit like a pincher.

Top: A lab coat, but in a slightly dark grey. She’s also in a sweater, as you said. I made her symbol relatively small and shoved it in the corner. I wanted her to have her symbol and blood color somewhere on her design, but wanted to respect that she’s not fond of bright colors. So it’s just very, very tiny.

Pants & shoes: Edited from Vriska, I wanted to keep them relatively simple. Grey slacks and some black square-toed lab shoes.

She’s so deliciously evil!

-CD

#persephoneanmystery #crypha castan #crypha #castan #ceruleanblood #cobaltblood #review #redesign #cd review #submission

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