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froggywritesstuff · 1 year

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jerk | mike wheeler

pairings: Mike Wheeler x g/n!reader

warnings: Mike's a bitch in this cause why not, swearing

request: Hey can I please suggest one where it’s a Mike wheeler x reader and Mike acts like he hates them because he is worried that if he doesn’t hate them he will admit his feelings so one day he walks in on them crying and feels horrible

A/N: 18+ readers DNI.

The cafeteria was buzzing, students laughing and chatting with one another, the teens sitting with Eddie Munson ignoring the disgusted stares from everyone else, being used to it by now. The Party members were talking and laughing with one another as usual, all except for the dark haired Wheeler boy, who sat looking rather blue at the table, his head looking down at his lunch tray, picking at the food with his plastic fork.

"Wheeler, what's going on?" Mike's head shot up at Eddie's familiar voice, "You look all sad. You better not be like that for the campaign tonight." he remarked, receiving a cheer from the rest of the party at the mention of the campaign.

"Nah, it's nothing." he lied, dropping his gaze back down to the mushy food on his tray.

Lucas rolled his eyes, "Someone's just sad that Y/N's not here today."

Mike's cheeks burned bright red, "No I'm not!" he denied.

The teens at the table all snickered and laughed at Mike's flustered expression, Eddie being the exception, who just furrowed his brows together in confusion.

"Y/N? By the way you always glare and roll your eyes at them, I assumed you just hated them."

Mike nodded at Eddie, "That's because I do hate them." he urged, though it seemed like he was just trying to convince himself.

"Sure you do," Dustin mumbled, rolling his eyes, "That's why you keep looking at them with heart eyes, 'oh Y/N, I don't know how to express my feelings around you so I'll just be mean to you instead, but I really really like you.'" he mocked, earning a death glare from Mike.

"That's not funny, Dustin."

Lucas snickered, "It's kinda funny."

Mike rolled his eyes, standing up from the table, forgetting about the crappy cafeteria slop people called food. It was the last thing on his mind. He ignored the calls from Lucas and Dustin attempting to apologise and exited the cafeteria. Mike made his way outside the building, striding toward the old wall phone in front of the building, mainly used for kids when their parents forget to pick them up or when people are just bored, but Mike had other intentions.

He hastily dialled the number he had engraved in his brain, brought the phone to his ear and listened to it ring. The dial tone ran through the phone for what felt like an eternity, before the beep sounded.

"Piece of shit," Mike hissed, slamming the phone back in its place. He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. How was he supposed to go with his day now? He needed to see you. At least hear your voice. It was driving him crazy with you not there.

Mike could barely focus the rest of the school day, his mind racing with thoughts. Make that one thought. After all, he could only bring himself to think about you.

The second the bell rang for home-time, Mike sped out of school, no time to explain to Lucas and Dustin what the hell he was doing. He wasn't even sure what he was doing himself. Though he knew what he wanted to do. See you.

He sped down the streets on his bike, wind flipping in his hair, too pumped up on adrenaline to care about his legs burning from how fast he was going. He almost missed your house he was going so fast, and almost crashed into your mailbox. OR he might've crashed. Again, he was too pumped up to care.

He hurried to your front door, pounding his fist on the wood almost a hundred times, before someone finally answered.

"Who the hell are you and why are you trying to break down our door?!”

”Is Y/N here?” he asked breathlessly, only just realising he could’ve paced himself a bit more. He realised the person at the door was one of your parents and he definitely should’ve made a better first impression, but he didn’t have time to care.

”Huh?”

”Is Y/N here?!”

”Yeah. Are you part of their dnd team or something.”

”Party. Dnd party- yes.”

“I bet they’ll probably wanna talk to you then.” they said, opening their further to let Mike in.

”Why? What’s wrong?” he asked, practically sprinting inside.

”I doubt they wanna tell me. You’ll probably have better luck.”

Mike had his doubts about that, but nodded his head nonetheless, “Thanks,” he said, sprinting off to your room.

He hadn’t been to your house in ages; he almost forgot where it was. That thought alone made him feel even worse than he already did.

When he made it to your room he knocked, anxiously waiting for your reply.

”Come in,” you called.

Mike practically burst through the door at your words, but reality hit him like a brick when he saw your confused expression, and he realised he had no idea what he was doing.

”Mike?” he just stood there, not having the slightest clue of what to say, “what are you doing here?”

Mike opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again, trying his best to form words, “I. Uh… you weren’t at school today, I wanted to check if you were ok.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. The Mike Wheeler you thought you knew wouldn’t give a shit about your well-being. You thought he’d be jumping for joy when you weren’t there, “What does that mean?”

Mike took a breath, “I was just worried,” he walked further in your room, before noticing your face shiny with tears, “shit Y/N, have you been crying.”

You resisted the urge to wipe the tears from your face, knowing that’d just confirm his suspicions. “No.”

“Yes you have. Y/N, what’s wrong?”

"Nothing." you pressed, not wanting him to know.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not."

"Bullshit."

"Fuck you."

"What?" Mike heard what you said perfectly fine. He didn't care if you had to curse him out for hours; he just wanted to know what was wrong.

You rolled your eyes, "I said 'fuck you'."

"Why?"

You stared at him in pure disbelief, "Why? Mike, you have been the biggest fucking asshole to me for months!" you continued when Mike stared at you like an idiot, "You're always rolling your eyes whenever I talk, I catch you death staring me, and whenever I try to ask you what I did wrong you just fucking ran away." Hearing you say that, he realised that was probably a dumb move. "A-and now you're here asking me why I'm crying and not going to the campaign tonight? It's fucking confusing."

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a jerk to you. I just..." he trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

You stared blankly at him, "What?"

"I-" he cut himself off with a groan, holding his head in his head, "I don't think of you as my friend, Y/N."

Despite your eye roll, you still felt your heart pang at Mike's words. "You made that clear."

Mike squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. He didn't know why he could never have a normal conversation with you. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I, ugh. I like you." he blurted out, immediately feeling his cheeks go red.

You stared at him, "What?"

"I like you Y/N. Not in a friend way."

You felt your heart rate quicken as you began to realise what he was talking about, "Like in a Max and Lucas way?"

He nodded, "And that's not an excuse for how I was acting, I just didn't know how else to deal with it cause I know you don't like me that way, and being a jerk was the only thing I knew I could do. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, I know how to be a jerk."

You stared at Mike for a while, gathering up all your thoughts before you spoke, "You're wrong Mike."

"What? I wasn't a jerk?"

"No," you furrowed your brows, "You were definitely a jerk. You're wrong cause you said I don't like you."

Mike froze. "Huh?"

"I like you too Mike. When you're not acting like a jerk though, so fucking stop that."

"Oh." he sighed in relief, cheeks burning bright red. "I was not expecting that."

"Yeah, because you're also an idiot."

buy me a coffee <3

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iamforbylerifbylerisforbyler · 2 years

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I’m once again thinking about the First Byler Kiss, which I think will happen 5x05. Some people want a rain kiss, some want a fight, some want a fight in the rain.

Here’s what I might want.

Mike is looking in front of a mirror, reading a letter he wrote to Will. He wants to say it to Will’s face. He wants to tell Will to his face how much he cares for him. How much he loves him.

It’s signed Love, Mike.

He wants to tell Will how he feels.

It’s just … hard.

Will is outside Mike’s room when he overhears Mike murmuring to himself. Will knocks on the door. “Mike? You okay?”

Mike starts to panic. He’s not ready just yet.

“Uh, yeah,” he lies.

Will opens the door a little. “You sure?”

He’s just so earnest. Mike can’t take it. He opens the door all the way, and walks past Will, muttering, “gotta go for a walk to clear my head.”

In the rain? Will can sense something is wrong, but he doesn’t want to push it. But it is raining, and Mike is walking out there without a coat.

Will has to do something.

And so he follows Mike.

“Mike, we should go back inside,” Will urges.

“You go back in, I’ll catch up,” Mike says.

“Not until you tell me what’s bothering you.”

“It’s stupid, really.” Mike kicks the wet ground. “Just stupid.”

“Hey.” Will grabs Mike’s hand. “Crazy together, remember?”

Mike smiles.

“You know I would never judge you, right?” Will says. “I’m here for you. Always.”

And suddenly Mike realizes what he needs to say. He doesn’t need to make some huge long confession. True, he can give Will the letter later, but he knows what he needs to say now, the thing that really matters.

“Will?”

“Yeah?”

Mike takes a deep breath. “I love you,” he says finally. “I’ve … been in love with you for a while. It just took me a while to realize what it was. And … I’ve just been so scared of losing you. But I can’t deny how I feel anymore. No matter how you feel, I can’t just not tell you.”

There. He said it. And now he waits for what Will has to say.

Will is speechless. Of all the things Mike could have said, he wasn’t expecting that.

Every second Will doesn’t respond is agony for Mike.

“Will…” The rain is starting to let up, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is Mike’s rapidly beating heart, and how Will might respond.

“I love you too,” Will tells him breathlessly. Will never expected this to happen. He’ll be in the moment as long as he can. Say the things he wants to say. “I’ve … loved you forever too. And I need you, Mike. And I always will.”

Mike doesn’t hesitate any longer. He puts his hand on Will’s face, leans forward, and kisses Will.

Time stops.

Will closes his eyes, and kisses back.

This feels right.

And as they kiss, the rain turns to a light drizzle, and a rainbow appears above them.

#Byler #will byers #mike wheeler #byler canon #mike x will #will x mike #This may be the cheesiest thing I ever wrote #But still #a rain kiss and fluff

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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Regardless of what you have to say or think of the old friend group, they were regular people in comparison to these new folk they hang around. All these newish people were Carrington’s friends and met Katrina in the clubhouse and since then they all became super cringey. Both Sam and Colby used to talk so much smack about influencers and fakeness and now here they are. Between Sam thinking he was “crowd surfing” during his bday, all the times he jumps on couches and tables now, Katrina mimicking every influencer girl out there, and Colby filming it all they changed and seem fake.

The content is still good which is what i watch but them as people are not the laid back people they once were and its not about growing up, i mean their circle changed into those types of people so they turned into those types of people.

if you want to argue that their newer friends aren't as "real" as their old ones, sure. i can see what you mean. personally, i don't think we know snc's newer friend group well enough to know whether or not they're real or fake. i mean, in some regard i would think they're more real than their old friends since they aren't pining to be in every video snc make or aren't constantly trying to film them any chance they get.

and i think we also gotta realize that snc and co are just showing a minor fraction of what their day/night is like. so sam showing himself jumping on a table isn't really what he's doing the whole time he's partying. that's just the highlight, so to speak.

and if we're gonna get technical, snc have always been crazy partiers. i even made a (non-complete) list.

things that snc have done that are far more crazier than what they do now:

grand theft autoed a car (their friend driving while also intoxicated) under the age to legally drive, went to walmart and stole fireworks and blew up a mailbox (almost also blowing up a friend's hand)

broke into an active jail (and that was them sober)

have had 200+ size parties at both of their houses

borderline trashed a hotel room in vegas for 25x25

drank only alcohol and then went on a hike in hawaii

both have gone to strip clubs together and with friends

have had the cops called on them bc of how crazier their parties were

colby HIMSELF could easily have his own list

admitted to the first thing listed above and said he was drunk at 15 in the backseat

did a livestream high with prettyheartbreak

partied in vegas when he turned 21

got banned from some night clubs with brennen bc they tried to fight ppl

has ALLEGEDLY done coke with mike

had fake ids and then got CAUGHT with them when he was arrested

has had multiple videos of him taken from friends of him drinking straight out of a liquor bottles

got drunk and pillow fought nate and made him get a nosebleed

got drunk, walked down the vegas strip, got chased after and kicked a cactus

did a boys trip with mike and kevin and a couple other guys and literally DRANK the whole time

has a whole drawer dedicated to weed in his bedroom

had a threesome with brennen

and if we talk about their old friend group, none of them were angels either. two of them were addicts, one's a pothead now, and one of them dabbled in enough substances. and the rest all partied hard with snc too. jake met tara bc of snc's parties. a lot of them met snc bc of the parties they would throw, so clearly they weren't all saints.

but there's nothing wrong with that. partying is normal, as long as you don't abuse it or your body by doing so. honestly, i think snc are a lot tamer now, which is better anyway.

can the content they make be annoying? sure. i won't deny that. but let's not pretend they are all of sudden falling off the deep end bc they go to the occasional rave or bc they like vegas now.

#ask #personal

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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For each member of the Cullens, what do you think it would take for them to realize the extent of how unhinged Edward is and what do you think they would do about it, if anything?

Well, we’re going dark places today, aren’t we?

Alice

Alice is already fully aware of what Edward is, she simply doesn’t care.

There are visions that Alice misses, Edward thinks Alice misses the vast majority of Biology due to being hyper focused on Jasper (and likely missed the school massacre that Edward was seriously planning) but there is a lot she doesn’t miss.

Every time Edward thinks about how great it’d be to smash Mike Newton’s head like a watermelon, every time he considers devouring Bella, every time he enters her room unannounced to stare at her while she sleeps unawares, the time Edward considers genocide of the Quileute Tribe because of Jake’s telling Bella a story he doesn’t even believe, Alice knows.

It changes nothing for her.

She roots for Edward and Bella’s relationship, not because she knows for a certainty it will work out, but because it might. And that slim might, where Bella Swan might survive and become Edward’s lover as well as her own Barbie is worth everything they put Bella through to get there.

Also damningly, Alice cares very little for how good Edward is for Bella just as she cares very little for Bella period. Bella is Alice’s excuse to party and a dress up toy, but Alice will cut contact with her to a) please Edward b) prove a point to Edward.

Worse, Alice will take Bella to Italy, a city where she knows Bella will be killed with a 90% chance upon entry, on the slim chance that they might prevent Edward’s suicide. Yes, she vaguely explains the risk Bella’s taking, but she doesn’t say it in clear terms nor does she waste much time arguing.

Edward is far more important to Alice than Bella.

What I’m getting at is, thanks to her gift, Alice is intimately aware of just what Edward is capable of. She doesn’t care. And yes, there’s something to be said that Edward, more often than not, does not act upon these futures and he shouldn’t be condemned for choices he does not make. However, he does make some of them, and Alice knows.

There’s nothing I think Edward could do to either inform her that she was gravely wrong in how she perceived him or drive her away. Alice would be disappointed he’s thrown the family into such disarray but most likely would try to steer him away from whatever choice would cause such a rift.

She would aid, abet, and enable him because that is what will keep the Cullens together. Which is something Alice very much wants.

Carlisle

Carlisle lives in a river in Egypt, the water is made of double think. There are strong hints that Carlisle’s family is not quite as gung ho or altruistic about the diet as he is. Instead of being appalled, Carlisle quietly lowers his standards, and gives enthusiastic applause when Edward does things like choose not to brutally murder the serial rapist who nearly raped Bella. This is big growth for Edward! He also takes measures like sending family members who have accidents to their victims funeral, in the hopes that something, maybe, might make them see humans as people worthy of life.

If you asked him though, he’d talk about how amazing his family and the Denali are for the diet, and how he’s so proud to be a part of this community that values human life. LOOK HOW MUCH THEY VALUE IT.

When it comes to Edward, I think Edward holds a special place in Carlisle’s heart. He was not only the first person he turned, but Edward left and came back, to Carlisle this signaled that he’d found meaning and purpose in preserving human life. More, Edward... is very good at hiding what he is and is desperate that Carlisle above all others never see it.

Rather than have a conscience, most of the time, what stops Edward from “you name horrific action” of the day is the thought of “What would Carlisle say?”

My point being, from the outside, especially to Carlisle, Edward truly does look like a noble soul. There are... flags, but they’re easily ignored or written off as issues with Edward’s emotional maturity.

Where Carlisle starts getting concerned is with Bella. Edward leaves for Alaska, great, Carlisle’s proud he was able to make that decision and know his limits. ThEn EdWArd CoMeS BaCK.

Edward comes back, in a week, nothing has changed, and he refuses to leave. Carlisle talks to him, Edward’s thinking he’s better than Hamburger and he can’t let her win, what he actually says to Carlisle is something along the lines of “I can’t run from my fears” Carlisle does an upside down smiley face then says, “Yes, you can, please do” And Edward doesn’t.

Things with Edward and this girl get progressively weird, but Carlisle is very proud that Edward sees the value of human life and not murdering a girl for being nearly hit by a van (this is how low Carlisle’s standards have become), and then Alice goes, “Oh, by the way, Edward is in love with this girl!”

Carlisle just sits there, “Alright then” and quietly puts aside his dreams of moving to a town where Edward doesn’t eat Bella Swan.

But I’m getting off track, this isn’t about canon where Carlisle can explain Edward’s actions away as noble but extreme, emotionally immature, and misguided.

Eating Bella’s not enough. Carlisle will see this as a tragic accident, something he foresaw, but something he assumes will haunt Edward for eternity. And, as it will haunt Edward for eternity (though not for the reasons Carlisle assumes) there will be nothing to make Carlisle question Edward’s character. He was young and foolish to think his limits were endless, but this was a tragic accident.

And it’s something, that in canon, Carlisle is hoping won’t happen but expects with helplessness.

I think there are a number of things that could do it. Had Edward eaten Biology, had he decided to defy Volturi law by eating Saint Marcus’ Square, but staying closer to the realm of possibility...

Had Edward forcibly aborted Bella, murdering her and her child in the process, or else if Renesmee didn’t have her gift, and Edward murdered her after her birth (assuming Jake didn’t get to it first).

Those actions cannot be excused away nor cannot be seen as tragic accidents. They are premeditated and evil, and yes evil is a strong word, yet here we are. This is Carlisle staring in the face of madness.

And that’s what it will take.

If Edward cheats on Bella, then while Carlisle is sad and disappointed, affairs happen and passion fades. More, Edward and Bella married awfully young and barely knew each other, this perhaps isn’t surprising.

If Edward eats a human Bella on the day she’s supposed to be turned, in very suspicious circumstances right at the last minute. Carlisle will know, deep down, but never allow himself to believe it. He’ll think Edward is utterly devestated and had let his guard down on that last day in anticipation of Bella’s turning.

This though, there’s no denying this.

I don’t believe Carlisle can kill Edward. Murder is not in his nature, and more, Edward is so dear to him. And now that this has happened, Carlisle would blame himself in part because surely, the human Edward Masen would never have become this.

He’d likely reach out to Aro. Eclipse has happened, but not Breaking Dawn, and more everything is in question. He has to know the truth from a man who has seen Edward’s very soul. He goes in person, likely tells Edward his plans, and Edward rages but that doesn’t stop Carlisle.

Rosalie (more on her below) would never forgive Edward, ever, she is done. She and Emmett likely go with Carlisle to Volterra to hear the truth of what Edward is. Esme stays behind with Edward, torn in half, but unable to leave his side in this time of crisis. With that, her and Carlisle’s marriage completely dissolves on the spot. Alice stays with Edward as well, which means Jasper does to, though this likely starts the gears in head and he begins to contemplate leaving his wife. Though I imagine he won’t act for some time.

By the time Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle reach Volterra the coven is broken.

If Bella survived, if Edward murdered Renesmee while she was out of commission for three days, then I imagine she too goes to Volterra. Not for truth, but so that Aro can murder her, because there’s no point in living anymore.

Emmett

It would have to be beyond the pale extreme because Emmett gets more hints than most of the family (i.e. Carlisle and Rosalie).

Edward doesn’t really confide in Emmett, per se, but he does say some pretty damning things on their hunting trip in New Moon and give off varying vibes of crazy. Rather than realize that Edward, perhaps, is dangerous, Emmett only gets the feeling that Edward might not be alright in the head. Mostly, Emmett doesn’t want to think about it.

So he gets to listen to Edward raving about how Bella could be crushed by a meteor, wondering why Edward even cares when two days ago he didn’t give a flying fuck about this rando tasty human.

To Emmett, Edward has been laughing madly to himself for days, is now a paranoid wreck, and is starting to creep him out but... Maybe if he ignores it, Edward will go back to normal?

Not helping is that Emmett doesn’t care about human life. He’s constantly telling Edward to treat himself and eat Bella, in a manner that suggests he vicariously wants to live through the delicious experience (as well as get Edward to calm down).

If Edward eats Bella, Emmett will slap him on the back and say “Good job, bro!” If Edward eats Bella after the whole “love” thing, well, that’s weird, but, uh, “Sorry, bro?” If Edward murders all of Biology...

Then Emmet might do a double take and think, you know, maybe something’s not right with Edward.

I think he’d suggest he and Rose take a very long vacation and wait for things to calm down. Hoping that, if he ignores this, it will go away and Edward will return to a... saneish person.

What Rose thinks is a different story.

Esme

There is nothing on this planet that could tear Esme away from Edward. Esme’s purpose in life, the thing that gives her joy each morning and each night, is her family which you can condense down to Edward: the best and brightest of all of us.

We see it in canon.

The day after Edward decides he’s in love he acts like a lunatic. The car smells like Bella, as he kidnapped her for a ride home (Bella did not realize she had, in fact, been abducted. Edward does for two seconds then says to himself, “No, no, this is--completely necessary. I’M A MONSTER”

Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett get to ride home in this Bella smelling car. Edward keeps laughing, like he’s in an opium den, it’s fucking weird. Edward offers no explanation, the car always smells like Bella, what are you talking about?

Edward then skips to the piano, giggling to himself, and sits down to compose. An action he hasn’t done in years. He’s still grinning and giggling to himself, by the way. Alice joins him at the piano, being equally cryptic and weird as usual. For some reason, Rosalie leaves the room in complete humiliation and shame. This is never explained to anyone watching.

Esme is sitting in the room, taking this all in, and thinks nothing. Instead she smiles, at beautiful Edward, and asks him to play the song he composed for her. She’s so glad to see him filled with joy again. She tells him that he is the best and brightest of all of them.

Esme later gives Edward her pretty much express permission to eat Bella if the girl is causing him such pain and misery. Luckily for Bella, Edward’s in love. So he passes on that and assures Esme the most wonderful thing has happened, he is in love.

My point being, Edward could drop the corpses of the students he murdered in Biology so he could more efficiently eat Bella at Esme’s feet and she wouldn’t blink. It wouldn’t even process for her. Esme would continue carrying on as Esme, nothing changing, while the rest of the family stares agog at the city Edward just murdered.

There is nothing Edward could do or say that would ever change Esme’s mind and she will always treat him as her favorite child.

Jasper

With his gift, I imagine Jasper suspects. Edward loathes Rosalie, despises him, and his feelings for others are... strange. He holds indifference and contempt for mankind and when it comes to Bella. Woof, what a cocktail.

He has no proof though, but I imagine if the smallest thing comes into his lap, that suspicion would become a certainty.

As for what he’d do, it’s hard to say.

I think, in most scenarios, he’d look the other way. Yes, Edward is a monater, but Jasper to is a monster if for different reasons, he has no room to judge. More, Edward is in many respects the heart of the Cullens, far more than Japser himself is. If Jasper goes causing strife, making accusations the others may or may not believe, then the coven could collapse.

This place, these people, are what Jasper thinks he’s been searching for all his life. For the first time, he knows peace, and is trying to live a life where he doesn’t persist in agony every time he succumbs to eating. Jasper is not going to risk that falling apart, even if he finds Edward unpleasant.

And if Edward keeps it to himself, or if the occasional human is the victim, then that’s a price Jasper is willing to pay.

Jasper might actually get concerned when it comes to Bella. For all Bella’s not very close with him, he holds her in very high regard. He nearly devoured Bella, and she forgave him, she forgave him his monstrously brutal past and has never flinched from him. She is a reminder of what humanity can be and why it’s important.

If he realized the threat Edward is to Bella, not just in eating her, but on a level much darker than that, then he might start to act and would probably try to get Bella to leave while she could. However, he also likely knows Bella would never listen, because she doesn’t see what Edward is and nothing would convince her otherwise. Not to mention, as soon as Jasper knows, Edward will plot against him so that no one in the family will ever listen to a word he says.

Not to mention that Alice, of course, must know and doesn’t care. That will be quite the blow to Jasper taking any action.

Barring extreme circumstances, Jasper does nothing, he just watches and waits to see what the others do.

Rosalie

For all that Edward doesn’t bother to be nice to Rosalie, and is ready to lay into her at a moment’s notice, he’s very dear to her. He is, in all regards, her brother and she cares for him deeply as she does the family as a whole.

Rosalie has no idea what he truly is and it would take a lot for her to accept it. More, unlike Carlisle, although she prizes human values and tries to hold herself to human standards her morals have slipped enough that she genuinely advocates murdering Bella Swan in her sleep so that Rosalie won’t have to move.

Murdering Bella won’t be enough, Rosalie will see it as the accident that could have been avoided if Edward hadn’t insisted on being a fool.

I think, for Rosalie, the best way to drive it home would be a sexual crime. Had Edward forced Bella’s abortion in Breaking Dawn, that would have done it. First, it’d be such a messy, bloody, affair at that point and would look like a horror show (which means Edward’s more than likely to eat Bella in the process). Second, this would be Edward taking the child that Bella wanted, tearing it from her and murdering it, and performing the most vile action that Rosalie can likely even contemplate.

I don’t know what she’d do, I don’t think Rosalie’s capable of killing Edward, she cares for him too much, even after something like this. However, I think she would make an ultimatum to Carlisle “either he goes or I go” and then would never speak of Edward again, he’s dead to her.

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moxfirefly · 3 years

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55. "Does it hurt? Tell me to stop if it hurts."

With, hmm, Mikey and a (top-)male-reader? Oops, guess you’ll have to shit some bricks then...😏

Also? If you could somehow include slutty mikey, then *chef’s kiss* perfecto. But if not, that’s fine. Do what you think is right 😊

My. Time. Has. Come.

Friend thank you! My first male-reader request! I’m so excited and I can so do this.

The second Michelangelo feels teeth bite down his neck he knows whatever nervous feelings he had just slip away.

Your tongue laps the bite, the flesh is a little harder so it’s not possible to do the damage you might want to do. Because the idea of marking up Mikey makes your cock stir. You’d have to get a little more creative then, so you kissed your way down his plastron, enjoying the way his fingers dug into your hair. At the hem of his underwear you smirked up at him, trying to hide your chuckle when Mikey vigorously nodded his consent.

How the two of you ended up like this was still beyond Mikey, well to a certain extent. You had come over, he had suggested video games, things did get competitive and around there was where the missing footage sign blinked. Mikey hadn’t really thought that kissing a guy would be this exciting. Sure he’d had his fare share of self discovery when it came to his sexuality, he knew he just liked pretty people.

And boy were you fucking pretty.

Needless to say, having sex with a close friend who also happened to be a guy wasn’t really on his list of To Do’s on this Wednesday afternoon. He sure as hell wasn’t complaining though.

Underwear casted aside, you chucked your own as well. Mikey’s eyes were glued to your body, taking in details he didn’t think would make him so, well horny. He liked you, he really liked what he saw and as your ego inflated just so, you felt yourself being pulled closer into another heated kiss.

Mikey found himself enjoying the scratch of your scruff, the softness of your body against his much harder one, the groan that left your throat and disappeared down his own. Much to his regret you ended this kiss with a soft tug of his bottom lip.

“Do you want me to bottom?” You asked by pressing your lower halves together.

Mikey wasn’t sure if he could make words, much less answer that question. Needless he had to and a little shameful part of him that overthought everything wasn’t sure how you’d take his request.

“Um... is it like cool if, well, you could maybe... be the top?” His eyes had to preoccupy themselves with something that wasn’t your face, regardless of it being a pretty face he could barely stop looking at.

You smirked, hand cupping his chin to make him look at you. “Ask me the right way” You whispered against his lips, enjoying how his bottom lip trembled ever so lightly.

Swallowing, Mikey gripped your sides and pressed his lips to yours. “Please, fuck me” Came his needy reply, it instantly made your skin break out in goosebumps. With another tongue twisting kiss you told him to give you a second to grab a small bottle of lube out of your bag. Mikey took the opportunity to breath, to look up at the ceiling of his bunk bed and somehow align his thoughts.

The liquid cool he felt at his hole startled him, apologizing you kissed that pretty heart shaped mark on his plastron. “It’ll heat up, I promise” Slowly and gently you worked a finger inside, enjoying even more how Mikey’s legs spread to give you more room. He’d actually done this to himself several times, the sensation was pleasant but something about having somebody else doing it just made it all the more exciting. Almost by muscle memory he snaked a hand towards his hard cock and gripped it, a tempting pump making him moan. The hand not stretching him gripped his wrist. “Don’t want the show over before it starts, yeah?” It was a tempting sight, one you’ve gladly let continue but your aching cock said other wise.

Mike was tight, mostly being the nerves he assumed. “Easy, relax a little bit” Your free hand drew circles on the back of his thigh. Mikey felt his mouth go dry but he nodded, hands resting on your shoulders as you guided yourself into him. That initial burn was something he would commit into memory, the image of your lust ridden face even more so. “Fuck Mikey...” You mouth hung open, angling yourself a little more to slowly continue to push more of your length into him. Lifting his hips a little more, leg swung over your thigh, Mikey helped to better accommodate you. By no means exactly experienced, he at least knew from personal investigating how exactly he liked to be situated for this.

Maybe if his shyness didn’t creep up on him he could show you just how flexible he was.

Right around that thought Mikey felt you bottom out inside of him, the feeling making him shut his eyes and dig his nails onto your back. This somehow felt different, a really good different and with the way Mikey’s cock steadily leaked precum you knew you wanted drive into him wildly.

The first few thrusts made your eyes flutter shut, the way his heat felt around you was enough to make you moan. Mikey’s hands slid to your rear, gripping flesh with a lengthy churr. The sound startled you, your hips reducing to a slow languid pace. “Does it hurt? Tell me to stop if it hurts” You asked, surprisingly feeling breathless by just a few thrusts. Mikey shook his head, nudging you forward by the grip he had on your rear. “No no don’t stop, fuck me please!”He whined, arching his hips to get more friction.

Oh, who were you to deny him such a request?

“Say it again for me baby” Your hips picked up again, thrusting into him in ascending speed. Each hit making Mikey moan, those baby blues of his none existent with how dilated his pupils were. “Fuck me, god just use me like some cock sleeve” In a more alert state he would’ve flushed crazy, those types of words were reserved more for his fantasies.

“Use you? Fill you up? That what you want baby boy?” You drove into him harder, skin slapping skin. Gripping the back of his knees you pushed his legs up to better angle your thrust and it only proved more to his desire. “Yes! Fill me-fuck-up!” At some point he was gonna remember this later but right now, right now as you drove into him with feverish slams, he was ready to spill his longing.

You leaned down, the friction of your moving bodies making Mikey’s cock twitch. You kissed him, sloppily enough to capture his moans. Muscles strained, sweat broke out over your body. “Ha- Harder” He groaned against your lips, teeth biting down gently. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you harder?” You grunted out your words, capturing his lips in one last feverish kiss. Leaning back you set your knees on the bed just how you needed to slam into him in quick short thrusts. Mikey felt his brain short circuit, something inside of him snapping and making him reach for his stiff leaking length. The sight alone had you grunted, each time you drove into him you knew you weren’t to last much longer.

It wasn’t long before he tensed up, pumping erratically and cumin with a long churr. Each spurt shooting onto his plastron, a few ropes managing to hit his chin. You felt your hips stutter, nails digging onto his thighs as your own release hit. Now that was a sensation Mikey didn’t expect to enjoy as much as he had fantasized about it, the way you filled him up with so much warmth. When the ability to form a thought managed to find its way back into your brain, you admired the mess Mikey was, all hard breathing and satisfied. You ran a thumb across his stained chin, cleaning it up by sticking it in your mouth. Still joined together you bent down and licked up the cum on his plastron and by the pleasant little clench Mikey gave, you knew he liked what you were doing.

“You alright?” You kissed the question against his chest, slowly pulling out with a bite to your lower lip. Settling next to him you couldn’t help but smirk, he was still swimming in all those nice little chemicals one releases. You let him have his moment, opting to just lazily make out with him.

#tmnt Michelangelo x male reader #tmnt bayverse #tmnt mikey x reader #michelangelo tmnt #tmnt michelangelo x reader #michelangelo x reader #mikey #Michelangelo #smut prompts #ask #eemoo1o #ns*w

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pappydaddy · 4 years

Text

Opposites (s.h.)

A/N: This is for the request asking for a Steve x Reader where the reader was like Jade West from Victorious (also known as one of my bi awakenings). I am sorry for the delay, this Thanksgiving was crazy (I’m Canadian) and there was so much to do! I tried my best to write the reader like Jade without having her not vibe with the kids bc we all know that the kids come first with Steve. Now, without farther ado, here is the request! Hope you like it lovely Anon!!

Edit: I changed the name bc there are so many fics under the name Opposites Attract😅.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

show/movie: stranger things

requested

warnings: fluff??

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

Opposites attract. Something everyone has heard before. It can be applied to magnets or to relationships. While there was no denying that when it came to magnetic pulls, opposites did indeed attract, but Steve was never too sure about it in a relationship sense. He had always gone after girls who fit his lifestyle. Parties, the popular crowd, the girls who fit in to societies expectations. It wasn’t until he had met Y/N that he had realized that maybe everyone was right. Just like magnets, opposites attract did apply to relationships as well. He could not think Robin enough for introducing the hard headed, sometimes (all the time) scary girl who Steve would have never approached. A goofy guy such as Steve paired with the rocker chick who intimidated nearly everyone? Steve had never thought that would be possible outside of the movies.

Now, here Steve sat on Dustin’s couch as he bounced his knee, the party bickering all around him as they tried to figure out what they were going to do today. “Why would we watch movie’s all day, we always watch movies, Dustin!” Lucas exclaimed from where he sat on the floor next to Max. Dustin looked up from the pile of VHS tapes he had already selected before hand.

“Because movies are awesome and clearly the best option right now,” Dustin answered as if it was obvious. “Nobody can agree on one place, so the logical solution is to stay here and watch a movie.” He shrugged, shuffling through the tapes once again, ignoring Lucas’ groans of protest. Steve tuned them out the best he could as he watched the front door, willing for it to open revealing the two missing members of the party.

“Dustin has a point, Lucas.” Max piped up, not even looking up from watching the titles of the movies Dustin was debating on.

“Why,” Lucas asked simply, turning his head to face her in an exaggerated fashion. “Just why,” He repeated. “Why do you think it’s better to sit here and watch movies all day as opposed to going to a bowling alley?”

“I’d rather watch movies than go to a bowling alley, but we are clearly forgetting the best option brought up,” Mike inserted himself into the conversation again, banging his pointer finger against the coffee table before continuing. “The Arcade. There is a huge re-opening deal and a ton of new games!”

“We’re not going to the Arcade, it’ll be too crowded to have fun as a group!” Dustin turned Mike’s idea down once again.

“And sitting in a dark living room all day watching movies will be a fun group bonding experience?” Mike snapped back, sending the three boys into a tailspin of bickering. Steve and Max both heaved out sighs at the same time just as the front door opened, Robin walking in first followed by Y/N. The two girls ceased their previous conversation, blinking at the chaos ensuing.

“Finally, what took you two so long?” Steve leapt from his spot on the couch, rushing over to the pair, his eyes wide with relief. Instantly, he wrapped Y/N in a tight hug. The girl tensed for a second before melting into his hug, patting his back with one had. She wasn’t much for hugs, not being an overly affectionate person in general, but she couldn’t help but to lean a bit closer to Steve whenever he was affectionate towards her.

“Sorry, Stevie-boy,” Robin apologized half-heartedly, plopping herself down in the spot he once occupied. “Y/N got caught up trying to decide which Stephen King book to buy and then she saw the Stephen King display they had put up.”

“Ended up getting Cycle of the Werewolf, it came out a few years ago, but I was too wrapped up in the release of Cujo to focus on his book releases,” She told him, not even waiting for him to ask. She pulled out of his grasp, reaching into the bag she carried to hand him the book. Steve shivered slightly, not understanding how she could read or watch Stephen King’s books without getting the slightest bit scared. “But I couldn’t pass on the great deal they had on, they had Danse Macabre for half off so they could get make room for another shipment.” She pulled the second book out of the bag, walking passed Steve who read over the back of the book he held, eyeing the words as if they would jump off the page at him.

“That’s great, Y/N, but we need you and Robin to help us decide what to do for the rest of the day,” Dustin interrupted the girl, earning a glare from her (which he ignored). Y/N sat on the middle cushion beside Robin who dug through her own bag to retrieve her own book: Dark Companions. “Lucas wants to go to a bowling alley-”

“I would rather stab my eyes with rusty scissors then go to a bowling alley.” Y/N cut him off, flicking through the pages of her new book. Dustin laughed in victory as Lucas gave Dustin a warning look in return.

“We didn’t get to hear what Robin thought.” Lucas pointed out, hoping that Robin would be his saving grace, but his hope was quickly shot down.

“I’m with Y/N,” She stated, looking up from her book. “I hate those places, they are a cesspool of germs. Kids pick their noses then use their booger covered fingers to pick up a ball.” She turned her nose up at the idea. Lucas slumped back in defeat, Max sending him a sympathetic smile despite her internal happiness that she didn’t have to go to the bowling alley. Steve hid his own excitement as he sat down on the other side of Y/N, slinging his arm over her shoulders as she began to read her book.

“How about the Arcade, huh? You guys can watch us play awesome games and not touch anything!” Mike brought up his idea, trying to sell the girls on it. Robin shook her head instantly.

“Arcades are my personal hell,” Y/N grumbled, flipping the page. “Kids running around screaming and the noises from the games. It’s nauseating.” She cringed at the thought of it.

“So that leaves watching movies here then.” Dustin smiled brightly, showing his still missing teeth. Mike and Lucas groaned, flopping back on the floor dramatically, missing the way Y/N’s face twisted into a scowl and Robin’s nose turned up once again.

“Sitting here all day watching movies?” Robin asked.

“I would rather stuff myself into a wood-chipper.” Y/N commented once again, her eyes never lifting off her page. This prompted Lucas and Mike to shoot back up, smiling widely at Dustin’s defeat.

“Hey, isn’t there that band stopping by to preform a little outdoor concert, super low-key and free?” Max finally brought up the idea she had been sitting on the whole time. She knew that Robin and Y/N would have backed her up, but the boys would have shot the idea down immediately. Y/N and Robin slowly lifted their heads, intrigued by Max’s idea.

“So? What band would be coming to Hawkins to play a free show? Are they even worth seeing?” Mike lifted his upper lip in a grimace as he got ready to shoot the idea down.

“Yes, they are,” Max narrowed her eyes at the boy. “It’s a relatively new rock band, kinda like Def Leppard meets Guns N’ Roses meets AC/DC. They are playing free shows in smaller towns to build a name for themselves, all their earnings come from their merch sales.”

“Now that,” Y/N finally closed her book, setting it on the coffee table as she uncrossed her legs. Leaning her elbows on her knees, she clasped her hands together and pointed her pointer fingers at Max, a smirk playing on her dark painted lips. “That sounds awesome.” She unclasped her hands to high-five Max, the red-head beyond happy that her idea was chosen.

“It does sound really cool,” Robin nodded, sharing a look with Y/N and Max. “I’m down.”

“You know what,” Steve finally spoke up, bobbing his head, a goofy smile on his face as his eyes gazed at Y/N as she leaned back under his arm, looking up at him. “I’m in too. I could use a good concert.”

“You’re just agreeing because your girlfriend wants to go!” Mike accused, earning two glares from Y/N and Steve. He shrunk back under Y/N’s hard glare.

“Come on, guys,” Steve encouraged. “You guys could actually like their music, you might even find a new interest or meet some new people,” He tried to sell the reluctant teen boys. They hummed, actually listening to him. “There really isn’t any harm in going.” They nodded, muttering their lack-luster agreements in choosing the concert.

“Forget all that mushy, positive shit,” Y/N waved her hand at Steve’s sappy selling of the concert. “Just go and live outside of your comfort zone, taint your innocent, pure souls. You will thank me later, trust me.”

“Are you corrupting my kids?” Steve asked her as the boys all hollered ‘yeahs’ and hopped around the room as if they were tough. Max and Robin rolled their eyes at them, but Y/N looked back up at Steve, a sparkle in her eyes.

“Yeah, someone had to undo all the goofiness you instilled in them - make ‘em cooler.” He smiled down at her, pressing his lips against hers softly as the boy’s continued on. The roudiness melted away as they shared a loving kiss. As their lips pulled away reluctantly, parting the sweet kiss. Steve was never more sure that they were living proof of opposites attracting.

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 3 years

Text

You messed with my heart too long

A/N: I posted this anonymously on ao3, but I’m really proud of writing this so decided to post it on here as well. Please, please let me know what you think, it would mean the world to me.

Summary: When Richie accidentally burns his food right at the same time as Eddie arrives home, he fears he's in for a verbal beat down. He's used to that thank to his ex-boyfriend, who mentally and emotionally abused him before Richie realized what he was doing to him. Once Eddie works out what is happening, he is quick to assure Richie he would never treat him in the same manner.

Warnings!: mental abuse, mentions of physical abuse and Bev’s abusive ex, Richie thinks Eddie going to react badly (he doesn’t but he still thinks about it)

read on AO3

Richie, in all fairness, has never had any confidence in any way, shape or form. He’s not sure why that is. His mom and dad were good, loving parents that indulged into his secret little hobby’s, and when Richie at age 24, a fresh college drop-out, told his parents he was going to take a gamble and try to make it as a comedian, they supported him wholeheartedly. Of course, they were a little disappointed that he never got a degree in case things in the comedy field didn’t work out, but they were convinced of Richie’s talent. They were truly the best parents anyone could ever wish for, at least in Richie’s mind.

The losers were also nothing if not supportive towards him, though they had been long gone before Richie turned 24. They made fun of him sometimes, on the occasions where a joke ran too far or failed miserably, but they also made sure that Richie knew how much they adored him in reality.

Beside from getting scolded at every now and again by Eddie or Stan, about his hygiene or lack of self-awareness, they also never tried to change him to fit their wants. For some unknown, nonsensical reason, they liked Richie with his flaws and all.

Truly, Richie has no inkling as to where his insecurities came from, but he does know that he never let them stop him from doing anything when he was still friends with the losers. Quite the opposite even, if he got nervous about performing in front of his class, he would loudly ask to go first, laughing boisterously and slouching against the teachers desks, pretending like the activity wasn’t even a blip on his radar. When Henry’s taunt would hit a particular soft spot, and Richie felt the urge to sulk or mope, he’d double down on the thing Henry found annoying, and get a bloody nose for his troubles.

He fought hard to be ready to perform in front of people that weren’t the losers or his parents, and the losers departing from Derry just made that worse. With the losers, he felt confident enough to try and be himself, without them, he saw himself as useless in every sense. His very first live performance sucked, and in retrospect he’s really glad none of the losers were present because within five minutes of walking on the stage, he had forgotten his lines and threw up in full sight of the audience.

If his mother hadn’t persuaded him into trying again a few months later, and that one actually working out, Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier would have been buried before it began.

But that was before all the progress Richie made in all the years he’s been doing comedy. Despite having the occasional setback, he mostly outgrew throwing up before an act, and he could objectively look at himself in the mirror and conclude that he wasn’t the most hideous person the world had ever had the displeasure of seeing.

In fact, according to people on his twitter page, he was being described as hot and possessing a form of appeal that drew people in. He didn’t find himself good looking by any means, but there was a huge difference between hating everything about himself, and accepting that he was not as hideous as the beast from the Disney fairy tales he was a big fan of as a kid.

And then, in the prime of his mental health, he had met David, and every ounce of self-worth faltered like snow under the burning scorch of the sun. It only took five weeks for David to absolutely destroy the very thing Richie had toiled at for over twenty years.

David was his first boyfriend, who he met just shortly before his thirtieth birthday, and he took more than advantage of that. The first night they first laid eyes on each other, after one of Richie’s shows, David had walked up to him at a bar and promptly declared his show was absolute shit.

Normally Richie would feel hurt by these comments and would pretend to brush them off as if they were never uttered, but something about the way he said it caused Richie to laugh so hard he snorted part of his beer through his nose. It wasn’t until he saw Eddie with Bill and Mike at Jade the Orient ten years later, that his quarter fell. In the beginning, David had reminded him of Eddie. It wasn’t until much later that it became clear David’s intentions were not as innocents as Eddie’s.

Richie assumed the guy was pulling his pants, because who would dedicate their time to flat out insult someone they had never met, and so he had greeted him and bought him another beer. David wasn’t particularly funny, and he never laughed at Richie’s jokes throughout the night either, but he was very eloquent and could keep up with Richie’s conversation topics, though he always seemed to be able to turn and twist the subject so that it gave away another one of his qualities.

By the end of the night Richie never expected to hear from him again, and he was okay with that. His conversation partner had been interesting, but not to the point where Richie wanted to know everything about him or see him again.

David felt otherwise, as thanks to a mutual friend of theirs, he’d found Richie’s number, and when he texted him to ask him on a date, Richie had been too thrilled that someone was interested in him to containplat if he even wanted to go.

That same day the date took place, David had granted himself the title of boyfriend, and Richie went right along with him. They never officially verbally agreed to date, but they held hands and David slept over most nights then not, and his mother got so happy that she saw him with someone that things progressed naturally.

At first, Richie didn’t notice that David was influencing him in a negative way. He only had one close friend, Steve, who was simultaneously also his manager, and he constantly praised David for making Richie a changed man. Because Steve saw it as something positive, so did Richie.

His voice got progressively stiller, as David would ream at him multiple times a day that he was annoying everyone around them with his booming voice, and that he was an attention-seeker who would do anything to get the limelight on him. Richie practiced his voices less and less when David started to critic every aspect of them every time he would overhear him. It got worse once they started living together full time.

‘Hey Rich, no voices? Come on I want to know if you’ve improved over the years, let us hear it.’

He cut off all fatty foods when David glanced at his plate and grimaced, asking if he was really going to eat everything on the plate. He didn’t say it in so many words, but Richie could connect the dots that led him to believe David found him too fat. Lying became a sort of second nature to Richie, as he dared to eat a small pack of chips when David was away, and deluded him the next day by stating he hadn’t eaten any. Sometimes, at times where David thought Richie was away, he would observe him going through their trash to catch Richie in the lie. He’d fight tooth and nail to deny the accusation, and never admitted to it.

David complained just about everything Richie did, including the way he held his towel whilst drying the dishes, ‘For god sake Richie don’t rumple up, hold it in your palm and open it up so you can get to the surface more.’ When Richie tried to joke that David’s way didn’t necessarily mean the best way, he’d yelled that Richie was an ungrateful bastard and that if he had to do it his way because the way he was doing it was useless.

Useless, that was a word Richie learned to associate with himself as whatever he did would get dragged down by David, until there was barely any Richie left. Once again Richie began getting stage fright, worse than when he was a child, and on one evening David witnessed his total bomb of a show, and told Richie he had pretended he didn’t know him to the people watching. That hit so hard, the fact that someone was disgusted to be linked to him, that he stopped writing his own comedy and hired someone to do it for him.

There was so much negativity surrounding him and David, but when Richie tried to address his problems, David would make him seem like he was the one that was crazy. Like he was seeing things that were not there. David rolled his eyes and waved off any of Richie’s attempts to defend himself, but then denied doing it after the fact.

‘You’re a loser Richie, I can’t believe you’d be so stupid to take my ribs seriously. Aren’t you supposed to be a ‘comedian’? You’d think you’d know what’s a joke and what isn’t.’

A can of coke being set down too hard on their dinner table was enough to get David off of the couch, where he’d been watching football and ordering him around, and into the kitchen, striking a tirade that Richie was ruining their furniture with his fumbling. Richie was constantly on edge that he was doing something wrong - and he was according to David -. He avoided David as much as he could, but the latter would find something to fault him on regardless. Life had transformed into a prison cell.

Later Richie would scold himself for not leaving, but how could he? David manipulated him to the point Richie truly believed he was doing all of those things wrong, to the point where he was the one crying and begging for David’s forgiveness. He was gaslighted, manipulated and blackmailed at the same time, with gifts that weren’t a one-off after Dacid crossed a line too far, and they often contained a very expensive item that Richie had eagerly awaited for a long time. Richie felt like he owed it to David to stay, if only for all the money he had spent on him.

There were days Richie would get so furious he was prepared to scream back at David, to let his anger be set free and unleashed upon the one person who deserved it, but then David would show up with a gift out of the blue, or would grant him a loving caress, and Richie was gone for him again.

Not to mention that Richie’s self-esteem had sunk so low, he wasn’t ready to face a world without having David there to guide him along with things.

Barely five months before Mike’s earth shattering phone call, Richie ran out of all mental capacity to deal with the torment a moment longer, and packed his things, disappearing on a cold blistering night. David called him, of course, but Richie was a coward, and never answered the phone.

He only sent David one text to tell him it was over, and then promptly blocked his number without waiting for a response. He heard from gossip that David spread lies about him, and told other people about how much of a terrible boyfriend he had been, but Richie never objected to the claims. He agreed with him anyway.

Mike’s call had been, for a large proportion anyway, a saving grace. Reconnecting with his best friends and destroying the thing that loomed over him for so long was liberating, and Richie viciously wished that Pennywise had come back sooner, so that his tortures road would have been that much shorter.

There was no lingering bitterness inside of Richie because of this though, not when his life was finally in the best possible place it could be. Eddie and him got their heads out of their asses, or more like Eddie got out of his and decided to yet again be the brave one out of the two of them, and they started dating almost immediately after defeating Pennywise. In only a week's time, Eddie made the move from New York to Los Angeles, and with him he had brought the happiness Richie had long forgotten he could ever possess.

His marriage with Myra had been just as much a scam as the relationship between Richie and David, and his divorce was swift - no surprise there with the way Eddie always prepared for every possible scenario-, but Eddie almost always avoided talking about it. In a way, Richie was disheartened by that.

It was no secret Eddie married a woman that was basically a mirror image of his mom, and at times Richie caught himself wondering if Eddie had realized how smothering she was or if he had been so hunkering for the normality of life as a straight, married man that he never paid her enough attention too. He wonders if he was the only one stupid enough to not realize the gravity of what was happening to him.

Richie has debated on flat out asking Eddie about it, but, and there’s always a but, that would mean he would have to tell Eddie about David, and he is overcome with a rare form of anxiety, something deeply ashamed nestling in the place where his trust is supposed to be at the mere idea.

Swearing on the holy turtle god that managed to save them from Pennywise’s claws, Richie was originally planning on confessing the whole thing to Eddie on day one of their relationship. He truly was, and he had even conjured up humorous escape alternatives to duck his way under a fire load of questions Eddie was surely about to ask him after.

He even prepared himself to tell Eddie in Derry, right after overhearing Eddie’s phone call to his wife, feeling empowered that Eddie would come to understand. Bev interrupted before he could, perhaps a blessing in disguise. Before Eddie fully put down his phone, Bev had sweeped in the room, requesting a meeting downstairs to talk. Richie had been helpless to follow and listen intently, and if he was being honest with himself – he wasn’t – he felt a tiny bit of relief that he wouldn’t be subjected to any negative attention. Until Bev started to confess how her life had been before Mike called them.

All at once, a sickening hatred from himself overwhelmed Richie. He was so angry that he had dared to feel sorry about himself, and here Bev was, with a situation that was incomparably worse. The more details Bev entrusted them with – Richie may have promised to never kill anyone again, but he an exception could be made - the more Richie’s food from a few hours before threatened to choke him, and not even Eddie’s cream smoothed hand holding his distracted him.

Near the end, after they’d progressed from such an melancholically topic and began drinking away the booze in their hotel, Richie had drawn Bev’s attention with a call of her name, to either make her smile or to assure her that she wasn’t alone, Stan send him a withering look, as if to warn him not to open his mouth. Stan’s assumption was fair, it was in Richie’s nature to find humor in places there shouldn’t be, and he had no idea about Richie’s past to think otherwise. Still, every time Richie considered telling Eddie, the look flashed in his mind and sewed his mouth shut.

Not telling Eddie hasn’t impacted things the way Richie had predicted it would. Really, Richie was doing fine. Eddie chastised Richie on certain things, but Richie didn’t freak out or experience any sort of flashback. He would be given a peck on his forehead, or a hand running through his hair, and he’d know that Eddie was never mad at him. It was the littlest details that had Richie out of his mind with love, that highlighted just how different Eddie and David were.

By now, Richie had decided he was fine with not telling Eddie anything about David, and the extra weight of keeping something a secret was his boyfriend was just another fee to carry around with him. But life always throws a curveball Richie Tozier’s way when he has finally made plans.

This curve ball comes in the form of soup. A horrendous chicken soup that Eddie cooked up two days in advance, an experiment of different herbs that clashed into a symphony of flavors all competing to be the primary flavor. There are two things to know about Eddie as a cook. Number one is that he is not an impressive cook – and it’s not for the lack of trying - but Richie doesn’t mind. Eating food that doesn’t please his taste buds but getting Eddie in return for it is a fair deal in Richie’s books.

The second thing to note is that Eddie is a lazy cook. He turns the kitchen into a battlefield of different sauces, with jars a million different pots and pans skewed across the stove and no more room to place anything else left. It’s gotten to the point that whenever Eddie is in charge of cooking, they will not even put their dinner on a plate anymore, but instead leave it in whatever it’s made in, because it eliminates dishes to wash. That’s what starts the mess that day in first place.

Richie isn’t an idiot. Yes, he can be dense at times, and when it comes to loving Eddie he’s more than a bit moronic, but he’s not stupid. He’s had to survive on his own – and with someone who didn’t lift a finger - for a long time, thus there was no other way. He’s aware of the danger of putting a metal bowl in the microwave, and how it can cause the metal to heat up and start a fire, and therefor has never been stupid enough to try it. But today, Richie is stressed.

Steve has been calling him all day to try and persuade him into doing an interview for a magazine, and no matter how many times, how loud or agitated Richie says no, Steve still insists. Richie paces annoyed towards his fridge phone locked between his shoulder and ear, so he can take out the metal bowl of soup with his hands, and place it in their microwave without a second thought.

‘Steve I don’t care how much publicity you think it will get me, I don’t want to do it,’ Richie mutters, turning around with his back towards the warming soup. The consistent arguing with Steve has his teeth grinding, his shoulders tense and his anxiety sparked.

Eddie is still out for work, but it’s closing at five pm, the time he ensures he’s at home, and Richie thinks he can hear his car driving up into the gravel parking lot. The absence of his boyfriend is about to be filled, and Steve is yapping away in his ear, not content to admit defeat just yet, it’s maddening.

‘Steve… Steve listen to me, don’t get your panties up in a twist, I have to go. Don’t book the interview. I won’t take any part in it.’ His denial doesn’t put a stop to Steve’s yapping, but at that point Richie is over his nagging. He pinches the bridge of his nose and utters; ’Okay nice chat’, and hangs up without waiting for a response back.

He lets the phone clatter on top of their kitchen surface and says that Steve got the message, if only for the rest of the day. His phone doesn’t vibrate again, leading Richie to assume he has won this round. He can’t help but lean forward so far his head rests against the cold tiles of the kitchen counter, just sighing for one long, extended breath. A night in on the couch with Eddie spooning him has never allured him so much. His back cracks with a satisfying pop as he readjusts his body, and he groans in gratifications.

Their alarm dings loudly in the open concept kitchen, a warning that someone has just entered their driveway. Richie doesn’t need to go look to know that it’s Eddie and his large, black suv, but he wants to anyway. He’s about to walk towards the front door to greet Eddie like he’s a pet that has been waiting anxiously for its owners return – and some would describe him in the same manner - when the air fills with smoke and a rancid smell. It’s barely detectable at first, nothing more but an insentient odor that is unpleasant but not resolute and easy to ignore. But then actual smoke begins to wash it’s way around Richie, and he has a split second of blissful unknowingness left, until the problem dawns on him.

Richie follows the smoke trail, and is shocked to find their microwave steaming and actually crackling, like it’s on the verge of exploding. It probably is. Still, it’s nothing compared to the cluster bomb of fumes that spread throughout the room when Richie actually opens the microwave door and gets slapped in the face with the enormity. It’s a surprise that their smoke detector has yet to erupt.

Instantly, his airways fill up smoke, prickling his cough reflection so tremendously he doubles over in extortion. The coughs rattle his body in a painful manner, his chest and back start to hurt from the brutal movements and the fact that he can’t grasp fresh air no matter how wide he opens his mouth. Objectively, Richie should understand it can get a lot worse - their smoke detector hasn’t gone off, and there are no flames to accompany the smoke and therefore turn their house into a major safety hazard - but a panic he hasn’t felt since David has shut down his logical thinking skills.

A key is slotted into their keyhole, and it turns a first time to leave. Eddie is about to open the door, in give or take in about a minute – it always drags out because despite living here for give or take two years, Eddie still can’t remember this lock unlatches via the left side and not the right – and walk in on an absolute shit show that Richie’s engendered.

So far there was indication, no sign that hinted to Richie he still had leftover, undealt trauma left from his time hanging around David, but now, his only thought revolving around how mad Eddie is going to be, how much trouble he’ll be in once Eddie sees everything, he starting to realize he might not be as over things as he originally believed.

He ignores the way his lung burn, and reaches forward to grab the pot – with fogged over glasses rendering him blind - protection less, not even grabbing the oven mitts to provide some shelter for the warmth. He can’t comprehend how dangerous that is, can only focus on the red lights blaring in his mind, telling him he needs to get rid of the evidence before Eddie gets here and unleashes hell upon him.

Unfortunately, he’s too late. A door unlocks and Eddie enters the house. His feet pad on their wooden floor, brazen and fast, like he’s been waiting for a shot at grilling Richie and he can sense his opportunity to do so has arrived – the motion is so un-Eddie Richie dismissed it as absurd then and there, but a seed of doubt remains -.

With time, Richie comes to learn how to listen to the different footsteps, and he can now recognize who’s walking towards him and in what kind of mood they find themselves in, without taking one look at the person's face.

Eddie’s footsteps, after every work day, drag across their floor, as if a thousand pound weight has been added to his back. The bottom of his shoes wear out a lot faster than Richie’s do, and it drives Eddie nuts because out of the two of them, he’s the one that treats his material objects neater than Richie.

Richie’s always delighted to notice how light his footsteps get after just a few minutes spent with him or the losers.

Now, he is too scared to pick up on such little details. His palms tingle unpleasantly, the boiling liquid burning them more with each second he hangs on. He stands in the middle of their kitchen like a fool, turning his body every which way and letting his eyes dart out an escape plan. The smoke is nowhere near gone, and there’s too much of it for Richie to open a window and it to be blown away. Eddie’s going to notice, there’s no way he can’t.

‘Richie, you won’t believe what this imbecile Josh did at work today. I swear, I don’t understand how some people can get fucking hired sometimes.’

Eddie trudges into the kitchen, his suit wrinkled from a long day of frantically working on a report that should have been finished by some other incompetent coworker. The groves in his face are more prominent today, acquired by the years of unhappiness he experienced with Myra, the ages of his life cut off by the shock of Pennywise's return and the occasional busy work day his job supplies him with.

A nausea craters in Richie's stomach, filled with guilt for turning Eddie’s night off into a stressful event that requires a ton of clean up. Eddie stops dead in his tracks when he notices the mess, his mouth slips shut, the word dying on his tongue.

He’s waiting for Eddie’s frown to deepen, for his lips to cresting into a fury. He’s waiting for the waterfall of insults that will be hurled at his head, each one meaner than the last, honing in on his deepest insecurities and having them exploited because Eddie’s so angry he’ll do anything to strike a verbal blow. And it’ll be worse now, because it’s Eddie. It’s the love of his life doing it now, the one’s approval he seeks most.

Eddie’s the person that knows him inside and out and knows exactly what boundaries to push and prod out to crack Richie open from head to toe. He waits for all that, with his hand still clamped around the bowl of burning hot soup, scorching his palms – by this point, Richie is sure there will be blisters by the time he finally unclasps his grip.

Eddie’s frown does deepen, but it’s not out of anger. ‘Rich, be careful you’ll hurt yourself.’ Richie doesn’t let go, but holds onto the sides of the bowl tighter. Part of him wants him to experience the pain, to let what he did sink in like David’s words always did.

‘Richie’, Eddie says startlingly firm. He’s not trying to approach Richie or the bowl, but he’s capturing Richie’s attention just by his firm voice. ‘Put it down.’

Richie drops the bowl of soup, watching helplessly as it splatters all over their freshly painted walls and the ground. Out of the corner of his eye a flat glob of liquid drips down the wall, dirtying a whole line down to the floor. Richie cringes, his heart beating so fast he could swear it’s about to jump out of his chest, and his mind a mantra of ‘look what you did, look what you did, look what you did.’

‘Fuck Richie, did you burn it?’

And Richie knows he’s caught. He was, up to two seconds ago, holding the evidence right in his hands, but he’s so petrified logic is not operating in his brain at the moment. The only thing he can focus on with great clarity, is that he’s willing to try anything to get him out of a verbal tear down.

‘No..’, he tapers off at the end, leaving his statement much more alike a question than he would have preferred. Eddie raises one eyebrow suspiciously, pointily averting his gaze towards the smoke floating around them.

‘No?’ He asks back equally confused, head tilted to the side. Richie can feel his throat closing up in panic, bracing himself for an onslaught. He doesn’t foresee Eddie’s nurturing and concerned approach. ‘Let me take a look at your hands’, Eddie murmurs tenderly.

It’s technically nothing new, the way Eddie treats him. After Neibolt and Richie’s big coming out, Eddie commenced all his vacation days and flew Richie all the way to Hawaii, for the pure intention of getting him away from any and all consequences. He’d allowed Richie to eat what he desired - within reason of course, there was no way Eddie was allowing Richie to eat pizza at 8 am-, waisted their days sitting by the pool and indulged in Richie unchancy pranks - one of which ended up with Eddie scrubbing out blue glitter out of his hair. Eddie had been kind then, so it shouldn’t be surprising he is in this situation.

It doesn’t take away the fear Richie is left with. David had good days too, days that he was the perfect boyfriend, but that would never last long, and Richie is left to speculate if it’ll be the same thing with Eddie.

Maybe it’ll be hidden in a secret message, maybe Eddie is busy hatching a plan that will utterly deploy Richie from the inside out. Eddie’s hands are gently skimming over Richie’s palms, inspecting the damage without irritating the skin even more. ‘It doesn’t seem like it’s bad. It hurts right?’

‘Yeah’, Richie croaks when he figures out the question isn’t rhetorical. He isn’t sure at the moment why that’s supposed to be good.

Eddie tips forward, stretching up higher so he can kiss Richie’s forehead tenderly. Against his skin he explains. ‘That means the burn isn’t too deep, but hold it under the water still.’

‘No but you know what does go deep?’

‘Nothing if you don’t treat your burns,’ Eddie teases with a smirk. He gently ushers Richie closer to their faucet, and holds his own palm under the stream of water, twiddling with the different temperature taps until he finds one that he deems just lukewarm enough to allow Richie’s hand under it.

The smoke in the air remains unspoken about. It’s almost as if Richie is more important than a potential house fire to Eddie, but that’s absurd. Not only because this is the house that both of them felt was the right one, and subsequently paid a lot of money for, but also because Richie isn’t that special. He’s not even trying to be condensing towards himself, because he truly believes that.

‘How did you manage to do this huh? Idiot.’ Eddie jokes while guiding his hand under the water at the correct angle, his salutation gets smoothed over by a hand ruffling his hair. Coincidentally, or perhaps the exact opposite, a part of the stress Richie accumulated falls away when Eddie calls him an idiot. It helps to underline why exactly Eddie will never be like David, why the two aren’t in the same league of each other even.

When Eddie says idiot, it’s a nickname, it’s a middle school jab when Richie runs too fast and trips over his own feet, it’s the symbolic soothing pat on the back he receives after he can get all of the losers to laugh at his humor. It’s their love langue no one understands, It’s Eddie’s way of hiding how deep his adoration goes with a job that’s unusual to others.

David’s condescending tone alone tipped Richie into the deep end, into a cave that echoed his deepest flaws and slammed it into the cavity in his chest every time something didn’t go according to plan. Idiot for David did not mean the same things. For David, idiot was shoving aside Richie’s concerns, it was disinterested in all his quirks and his passive attitude. He meant what he said without sarcasm.

A first tear tracks down Richie’s cheek. ‘Rich?’ Eddie inquires startled. His hand previously stroking Richie’s curls slides towards his elbow in a smooth motion.

Richie tries to tell him it’s okay, that he needs a minute to regroup but that he’s fine, but instead of that he sobs, more tears spilling over with no regards to him uneasy Richie is to cry in front of someone.

‘Richie shit I’m sorry. Does it hurt that bad? Do we need to go to a hospital? We’ll go right now.’

‘No, no hospital,’ Richie waves him off with his injured hands. Eddie leads his hand back without response, tracking his face to see if he gives away anything. Richie had forgotten his hand hurted in the first place, so he definitely didn’t require any treatment beyond what he was doing already. His tears are the result of being overwhelmed by his emotions, and his default response to that is to cry.

‘If you don’t want me to do that, that’s okay you know?’

Because his hand is incapacitated, he wipes his nose on the corner of his shirt, watching as Eddie’s wrinkles his nose at that. Still, even with the disgusting move on Richie’s part, Eddie leans in closer, molding Richie so he fits in the fold between Eddie’s neck and shoulder. There, he resumes his path of caressing Richie’s hair, and kissing his temple. Richie fists one of his hands in the back of Eddie’s shirt, pressing them as intimate as he can.

‘Hey sweetheart, it’s okay. What’s wrong?’

Richie sobs harder, not particularly keen on telling Eddie why he’s this upset. It’s a difficult topic to talk to anyone about, Eddie and the losers included. There were days that Richie twisted his mind to convince himself that it was all in his head. That David was the best boyfriend anyone could ever wish for, and that the tirades he had to endure was just the cost of that. He was afraid he added things in his mind that hadn’t actually taken place and he created his own narrative.

Apprehension held Richie back, dreading what Eddie’s response might be. He could exclaim Richie to be a complainer that should have praised himself lucky to get the abuse he got, or he could say that Richie was a sourpuss, turning a fly into an elephant.

‘Shouldn’t we get rid of the smoke first?’, Richie questions to stall.

‘Later’, Eddie soothes with another kiss to his temple. ‘Talk to me. Please Rich.’

‘There was this guy I used to date, David.’

Eddie’s head shoots up in bewilderment, his brow furrowed. ‘You never told me about him.’

‘Yeah well we never talk about your wife either and I thought that would mean we wouldn’t disclose our previous hang ups.’

‘Ex-wife. Remember Rich? She’s my ex-wife. There’s nobody in the world I would rather be with then with you.’

‘Stop it you bastard,’ Richie sniffles pathetically. ‘You know I can’t deny you anything when you sweet talk me.’

‘That’s the plan.’

Eddie thumbs underneath Richie’s eye socket, brushing in a hypnotic rhythm that ankers him to reality. If Richie nuzzles into Eddie’s palm, then no one else but then needs to know.

Talking about something that brings forth a lot of anxiety goes smoother with closed eyes, Richie’s come to find, so he does that before revealing what he should have revealed a long time ago.

‘He was.. not so kind’, he chuckles humorless. ‘He really thrived when he pointed out everything I did wrong, liked yelling too.’

‘Rich?’

‘Wait let me finish. If I don’t say it now I’ll never get the courage to again.’ He opens his eyes only to see Eddie nod in agreement, and his face starting to tang a bit red.

‘Sometimes I couldn’t even walk right without him being all up in my ass about it. At parties he would gladly tell everyone embarrassing things I did, or he would pretend like he did all the work at home while really he was the one that did nothing. And the way he spoke to me.. like I was a child and he was a teacher or something. And he had this way of saying things so I’d know I was a breath away from being yelled at, but so that he could still claim he never once raised his voice at me. I guess I was scared you were going to do the same thing after seeing what a major fuck up I am. . He kept insisting I didn’t do things good enough, but I was really trying my best. I fucking swear Eds. I can’t help that my best isn’t good enough.’

The repetitive motion that Eddie kept up during his long monologue abruptly ends, and Eddie instead balls his hands up into two fist, pulling away from Richie to lean on the counter. He bounces on his heels, unable to stand still any longer as he is now the one to squeeze his eyes shut.

‘Eddie?’ Richie implores, the panic from before quickly flooding through his bloodstream and entering every part of his body.

Eddie opens his eyes, and something on Richie’s face must give away what he’s experiencing, because he’s quick to assure Richie did nothing wrong. ‘No, shit Richie it’s not you sweetheart. I love you, you did nothing, nothing wrong.’

He pecks Richie on the lips twice, very softly and barely noticeable, almost a goad to get Richie to cram their lips together tighter. For a long moment, they don’t move. Their lips stay hovering just out of reach, and one of Eddie’s palms slide down Richie’s chest down to his belly and up again. It’s an effort for Eddie to try and generate as much love towards Richie as he possibly can, before his resolve breaks and he has to let his resentment for David out in some way.

‘I’m going to kill him.’ Eddie turns away from Richie, but his hand remains on Richie’s stomach, a connection so they don’t separate. His chest puffs up, almost like he’s gearing up to go fight David right now. He would if he got the chance.

‘Spagheddie you don’t have to do that for me. I don’t even own his number anymore.’

‘I don’t care Rich,’ Eddie’s voice trembles but is laced with a deadly amount of venom. ‘He should have never done those things to you. If I ever see him I’ll fucking strangle him with my bare hands.’

‘It’s fine Eds, it wasn’t that bad.’ The denial burns in his chest. He wondered for a long time if he could qualify what he went through as abuse, not because he was actively hoping to label himself as an abuse victim, but because he questioned if what happened to him was worth being this upset over. In conclusion, Richie decreed it wasn’t. Eddie's eyes snap up, burning behind a sheen layer of glass.

‘He never hit me like Bev’s husband did to her.’

‘That doesn’t fucking matter. What happened to Bev is terrible, but that doesn’t make what happened to you any less dire. Both of you were victims of abuse, save for a different kind.’

Are they comparable? If they were talking about another person Richie would say yes, that both leave lasting scars, but because he’s the subject of the question, he can’t say for sure. He’s not lenient enough with himself to allow such a statement to be made. Bev can suffer from the consequences of her abuse, but from Richie’s perspective, he should be over it by now.

‘Oh fuck,’ Eddie curses explicitly, ‘and I called you an idiot. Richie I’m so sorry.’

Eddie’s little crease that only appears when he’s discontent about something appears again, and he avoids eye contact with Richie. There’s no need for any of that. Richie hadn’t even taken that big of a notice about the word. He was reassured Eddie would never use it as a true insult, and even if he wasn’t convinced of that, the tender way Eddie reacts towards him otherwise would be enough to convince him.

‘No Eddie. I don’t mind, really. I don’t want things to change between us because I told you this. I like our banter.’

He finally takes his hand from under the lukewarm water stream, and dries it on his pants -the water, come Eddie’s prediction, has eased the aflame skin -. With both hands now free, Richie cuddles up closer to Eddie, using his arms to tug him closer. Eddie is still dressed in his suit from work - and it might deem handsome, but it is not very comfortable - but has not mentioned getting changed once, too enraptured with taking care of Richie.

‘They won’t if you don’t want to, but we’re making a deal. If I do something that hurts you, you need to tell me, so I can apologize and tell you I didn’t mean any of it. Are we clear?’

‘Aye aye captain. Shall we pinky promise on it?’

‘No, I’d rather kiss on it.’

They do, and this time the kiss progresses further than just a simple peck. Eddie cups Richie’s face in between his palms, a soft, sentimental smile ruining it a little. It doesn’t matter, Richie still greedily savors the moment as it comes.

‘All those times that you went on stage and rocked that whole performance I was already infinitely proud, but shit Richie, now that you’ve told me I’m even prouder. He tore you down but you spit in his face and said fuck no, I’m still going to be my own person. I’ll never let him treat you badly again. More importantly, you’ll never let him do it again. You’re so strong sweetheart.’

Richie sniffs, ‘why the hell are you still being so sappy? I told you everything already, there’s no need to spawn me further.’ He giggles, and Eddie can’t help but chuckle at the sight too, then he turns serious again.

‘Okay, now let me take care of you. I’m going to clean up, hush I am and you’re not going to lift a single finger, and then we’ll order in, watch tv from the bed and cuddle. That sounds good? We can talk about the heavy things in the morning.’ Richie has been through enough for one day.

‘That sounds perfect Eds.’

They let go of each other, but not before Eddie sneaks in a kiss on his forehead, cheek and jaw.

While dating David, Richie never used the word love. He knew, with manipulated affection and all, that he did not love David. Love isn’t supposed to change us, it’s supposed to accept us, makes us laugh and cry at appropriate times, and cocoon us in her warmth. Love doesn’t change us, but it adds something more to the previous person we were yesterday. Eddie adds something more to Richie every single day, be it by teaching him or standing by his side when he messes up. Richie loves Eddie, and he gets loved back equally as fierce.

#My writing #I'm literally begging for people to comment their opinions on my writing #reddie #reddie fic #richie and eddie #adult Richie #adult Eddie Kaspbrak #richie x eddie #reddie imagines #hurt comfort #fluffy ending #but heavy middle and beginning #eddie loves Richie #they're in love #Richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack

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viewmasterfeeling · 4 years

Text

Why Byler could be canon (but the Duffers could just as easily scrap it)

It’s late and I have zero energy, so I’m just gonna list of some main points that have really made me a Byler shipper.

Mike’s attraction to El in season 1/Mike not liking El’s femininity in season 3

I personally thought season 1 Mileven was weird... but that’s beside the point. The point is that, in the show, Mike develops a crush on Eleven. He’s the only one in the Party who does.

BUT... isn’t it interesting that Dustin and Lucas both get a crush on Max in season 2? A girl who looks more girly? But Mike... doesn’t?

Okay, I’m writing this awfully, but my point is that Mike was immediately attracted to a person who looked like a boy. Dustin and Lucas weren’t, because they’re straight! But Dustin and Lucas were immediately attracted to Max, a girl who looks like a girl, in the next season, when Mike obviously didn’t like her!

Of course, this is just my interpretation. But I just find that little tidbit interesting...

Also, he doesn’t seem to be attracted to El once she gets her more feminine glow-up in season 3.

Obvious romantic coding/parallels

Crazy and Stupid

If you’re a byler shipper, you probably read kaypeace21′s analyses. She explains it in way more depth than I ever will be able to, but here’s my take.

In Stranger things, stupid + crazy = love. We know this because of Flo’s line in S1:

“Only love makes you that crazy, sweetheart. And that damn stupid.”

And Mike brings it back in S3 with:

“You know, they do say it makes you crazy.”

Soo, what does this mean for the crazy together scene? A scene where two bros casually say that they’re going crazy together. Crazy, part of the love formula, and together. It’s the Together part of it that puts Byler over Mileven for me. Byler has a unique bond, and whether it’s romantic or platonic, you can’t deny that it’s love. They’re going crazy together.

Also, Will calls himself stupid after the fight with Mike. The second half of the love formula. So... things to think about...

Bonus: Robin calling Steve’s hair stupid in the coming out scene, when she was talking about how her crush, Tammy Thompson, liked Steve and not her.

Bonus 2: “El’s not stupid”. Made clear by several characters.

Best Thing vs Most Important Thing

We all know Mike Wheeler’s famous speech. Some of us may vaguely remember Mike’s “confession” in season 3. Regardless, the two are comparable, but vastly different. Let’s talk about “Best” vs. “Most important”. Mike loves Will, and thinks befriending him was the best thing he ever did. But El? He just calls her important. Mike doesn’t actually love her, but he thinks it’s important to date her. So that he’s in a straight relationship. That could also explain why he clung so desperately to El in Season 2. (Of course, that’s just some people’s interpretation.)

Also, he calls the event of meeting will the “thing”, but calls El herself a “thing”. Which one do you think he cares for more?

Fight vs. Breakup

Do I even need to explain this one? Just... rewatch the two scenes (El dumping Mike and Mike and Will’s fight). Which one do you think is more dramatic?

(And he’s wearing the SAME SHIRT. AAAh)

So, the parallels are there... but what makes me ship Byler?

Obvious answer: Mike. He has so much more emotion and love with Will. You can tell that easily. Season 3 Mileven had almost no emotion in my opinion. Mike didn’t look “in love” or even attracted to feminine El. And Finn is too good of an actor for that to be a mistake. Probably.

Plus, Mileven... just isn’t very healthy. They were “in love” after like, a week? Plus, El should not be in a relationship! She’s traumatized and stunted from living her whole childhood as a literal labrat! And the kissing... kinda weird, in my opinion.

So, why am I not hopeful?

Well. It’s tricky. I AM hopeful. Extremely. But q*eerbaiting is a harsh but real thing that exists in this world. And since so many viewers blindly ship Mileven, the Duffers could easily get away with a Mileven endgame. No matter how poorly they construct it.

It’s weird for me to think about Mileven being endgame, considering Season 3, and El’s trauma from the lab, and Mike never explaining what romance is...

Yeah, I’m gonna sign off now, good night

Also most of these are from @kaypeace21. I just kinda took those ideas and wrote what I, a simple viewer (and not in any way a film analyst) think about it.

I shall perhaps write more posts later, this was just a very basic look into my head. Hopefully if you ship Mileven, you can see where Bylers are coming from. Everyone has their own interpretation, and I’m not against shipping Mileven, so please don’t interpret that from this post. Good nightttt

#byler #byeler #byler meta #byeler meta #anti mileven

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bre-meister · 4 years

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Hi! i loved your drabbles, can you do the greens with the prompt “she doesn’t know how much he loves her, he doesn’t know she feels the same” and a confession?

It took me a looong time to write this (and I feel kinda bad because I could never find any inspiration to write your other ask) so I hope this super long post makes up for it

“This is bullshit.”

Boomer, turned to his girlfriend, eyes wide. Bubbles almost never swore. It was something that happened, sure, but not very often and only when what she was referencing was completely serious. Boomer looked around, confused. There was nothing in their immediate area to warrant such a reaction from Bubbles.

The two were sitting in a booth in a niche dinner that they had been coming to for years, even before they officially began dating. They had silently been watching Buttercup say goodbye to her...date? Honestly, Boomer didn’t know how to categorize it - they had, in all sense of the words, been on a double date with his girlfriend’s sister and her newest fling but it didn’t really seem to him that Buttercup was fully there the whole time.

“What do you mean?” he finally asked, “What’s bullshit?”

“That” she gestured wildly at her sister who was now standing alone on the street, her date having departed. Bubbles’ gesture turned into a friendly wave when Buttercup turned to look over her shoulder at the two still situated in the dinner. Boomer snorted at her silly antics.

Buttercup returned the wave with a smile that didn’t seem to reach her eyes before taking off to the sky, presumably home but Boomer had a feeling she’d be making a stop along the way. Bubbles let out a deep breath, turning away from the window to face him fully.

“She should be with Butch. Those two are totally meant to be! Instead, she’s wasting her time on these random guys trying to deny her feelings. Would it be so bad if she just accepted them? If they tried to be more than just friends?”

Boomer hummed in thought. He wasn’t blind to the way that Butch felt about BC. In fact, he was pretty sure Buttercup was the only one who hadn’t realized it.

“She doesn’t know how much he loves her. I mean, honestly, I don’t know how she hasn’t realized it yet but she hasn’t.”

“Yeah but he doesn’t know that she feels the same either and for a guy who talks as much game as Butch he’s being a real scardey cat about asking her out.” Boomer laughed at that. Butch was the dictionary definition of male posturing with only one exception - Buttercup. When it came to her, he was terrified about messing anything up.

“I’ve been left no choice.” Seeing where this was going, Boomer tried to interject.

“Sweetie I don’t think -”

“No, I’ve given them ample time, and yet here we are.” She was already pushing past him, all but climbing over him to get out of the booth and on with her plans.

“Clearly, Butch isn’t going to make a move anytime soon and if I know Buttercup, which I do, she won’t either. “ At this point Bubbles was shrugging on her jacket, preparing to walk out the door. Boomer jumped up quickly, shoving his arms into his own jacket while nearly tripping over himself to catch up with her - she was moving quickly and the look in her eyes before she left did not bode well for their siblings.

“Bubs, what exactly are you going to do?”

She stopped abruptly, the blue of the sky meeting the deepest color of the ocean as she looked intently into his eyes. At that moment, he knew that she wouldn’t be swayed from whatever it was that she was planning.

“They’re miserable tiptoeing around each other; making one another jealous both intentionally and unintentionally. You said it yourself, Butch was going crazy about Buttercup going out with someone else tonight. If they won’t get together for their own sake I’m going to ger them together for everyone else’s sanity!”

Bommer couldn’t deny she had a point. Dealing with a jealous raging Butch gets old fast and he knew Brick had even less patience for this than he did.

“Well, when you put it that way, “ he sighed “how can I help?”

……

“So I take it the date didn’t go very well?”

Buttercup sighed. She knew she shouldn’t have come here, knew she should have gone straight home but she couldn’t help it. She needed to see him, touch him. Apparently, she was a masochist now - torturing herself with the one thing she wants more than anything yet knows she can’t have.

“He took one look at the way Bubbles and Boomer were acting. Like even though we were on a double date they were the only ones around for miles.” She explained at his confused expression. “So he said that I’d never shown that much interest in him and he didn’t see it happening anytime soon, so he ended it.” She trailed off slightly at the end, not that it really mattered, she knew he could hear every single word with his superhearing - what she didn’t know was how desperately he clung to every word she said, every sound she made, every laugh, every sigh, everything.

“Harsh.”

“That’s the saddest part about it though, I wasn’t upset. Well, I was just not at him.”

“Then at what?” Butch was studious when it came to Buttercup. He wanted to know everything about her. He wanted to know her deepest dreams, her heart’s greatest desire, and he wanted to make those happen for her - he wanted to give her everything.

“At Bubbly and Little Boy Blue I guess, at Leader Girl and Cap boy, at Robin and Mike and Mitch and Pablo and just...everyone who seems to be able to find that type of love.” They sat in silence for a bit, each hoping the other would say something but neither being brave enough to do so. Eventually, Buttercup broke the silence.

“Maybe I just need to accept that I’ll never have that.”

“Don’t say that Butterfly,” she smiled at her and lifted her face until they were looking into each other’s eyes. For a moment he lost his train of thought, lost as he was in her green eyes - green like acid, a warning to all those who would underestimate her but he would never; he knew the power held inside her small body, knew that she could end him without much effort and he loved that about her

No, he silently scolded himself. You’re not allowed to love things you can’t have. He shook his head imperceptibly before continuing.

“ You’ll find that. I don’t believe there’s no one out there who wouldn’t want that with you. I - “

I want that with you. I want it more than anything in the world. I want it so much it hurts. How have I been this blind this whole time?

“I’m your best friend. I should know better than anyone right?” He told himself that it wasn’t disappointment he saw in her face - crushed that hope just as violently as he had all the others. It couldn’t be and he wouldn’t ruin their relationship on hope. He’d rather be just friends and be able to keep her close than not have her in his life at all.

“Best friend.” She repeated.

Standing up she let go of his hand - something she hadn’t realized she had grabbed and was loathed to let go of - so she could prepare to leave. She shouldn’t have come. It always hurt more to leave than it did before she came yet she couldn’t stay away. Masochist.

“Bye Butch. Thanks for everything.”

Everything. There was that word again. He wanted to tell her that he would give her everything she was looking for, treat her like she was everything because she was. Instead, he simply told her goodbye.

Buttercup hesitated at the door. She would have liked to hug him, friends hug right? She decided against it though knowing that after the night she’d have she wouldn’t be able to let go. So, instead, she went back home to her empty apartment and presented that he was there, holding her the way she wished he would. In turn, as he lay in bed just a few miles away, he held tightly to his extra pillow wishing it was her and he could hold her the way he so desperately wanted to.

she doesn’t know how much he loves her, he doesn’t know she feels the same. So naturally, their siblings conspire to change that.

……

Brick thought this was dumb. Who were they to meddle in the lives of their siblings? In his mind, If the two idiots couldn’t figure this shit out on their own, then they deserve the literal nonsense they are imparting upon themselves. He checked his watch before looking around the room again. Blossom was sitting next to him, tapping away at her phone - no doubt checking her emails. Bubbles and Boomer were whispering, probably conspiring, together in the kitchen. Everyone was in the same place they were five minutes ago when he’d last checked - five minutes ago when this little shindig was supposed to start. Brick Jojo was many things and patience was not one of them.

“How are you sure they're even going to show up considering they’re already late and all.”

“That’s not fair Brick, Buttercup and Butch are perpetually late to everything.” Blossom reminded him without even looking up from her phone.

“I know they are going to show up because I told Buttercup that I needed her help and Buttercup never stands me up when I need her help.” Bubbles looked very proud of herself.

“She’s right, Buttercup would drop everything if Bubbles said she needed help.” Blossom supported Bubbles whose proud look turned to a smug one.

“And I told Butch I needed his help - “

“Butch would stand your ass up in a heartbeat and you know that.” Boomer glared at his brother but didn’t try to denounce the statement.

“I told him I needed his help with a surprise for Buttercup.”

“Butch would drop anything for Buttercup.” There goes Blossom, yet again defending this plan that he oh so detested.

“Brick please just try, for me?” Blossom finally looked up from her phone only to give him the biggest puppy dog eyes in the world. He hated when she did that - she knew he couldn’t say no to those big, gorgeous pink eyes. He let out a sigh and the others took it as a sign.

Exactly ten minutes from when this shindig was supposed to start, the two greens showed up, both equally as confused as the other.

“Bubbs? I thought you said you needed help with cooking a...what was it? A ‘super special top-secret dinner’ - this doesn't seem like a secret to me.” BC voiced her confusion while taking her coat off. She eyed each person in the room and lingered just a tad longer than she perhaps should have on her counterpart.

“Boom told me he and Bubbly needed help with a surprise for you.”

“Me?” Butch nodded.

“Well, I guess you could say this is a surprise.” Boomer began nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck - a nervous tick from childhood he hadn’t seemed to shake.

“A surprise for both of you!” Came Bubbles' overly enthusiastic response.

The two greens turned to their redheaded leaders for some guidance. Surely they wouldn’t have allowed Boomer and Bubbles to rope them into this nonsense. Brick just shrugged as if to say don’t look at me. I don’t want to be here any more than you do. Blossom seemed to take pity on them.

“Look, we’ve all been talking and it seems that we’ve all noticed a running thread with the two of you and we think it’s time to address it.”

“So this is an intervention then?” Buttercup seemed tickled at the idea

“Of sorts,” said Blossom.

“Ok if this is an intervention, then what are you intervening in because last time I checked I haven't smoked since high school, and Butterfly and I don’t drink any more than any of you.”

“See? That right there! That’s why we’re here!” Bubbles was just met with more confusion. She sighed,

“The pet name, Butch.”

“What about it?” The green-eyed man was suddenly very defensive. “It’s just a nickname. We all have nicknames for each other that’s just the kind of shit that happens when you work together all the time.”

“Ya but, Butch, you’re the only one that calls me Butterfly.”

Buttercup was pretty sure she had never seen Butch’s face that red before. Brick, who had been sitting so silently up until now, seemed to have reached his breaking point.

“Look, we’re here because, apparently, the two of you are just so blind that you can’t see you’re in love with each other.” The sentence came out so casual as if he were just stating that the sky was blue.

The greens turned to each other, mouths gaping.

“Brick!” Both Bubbles and Blossom were not happy.

“What? If you thought that I was going to sit here and play ring around the Rosie with all of you then you thought wrong. The whole point of this was to get these two idiots so they would quit complaining to us! Clearly none of you we’re willing to do it so there, you’re welcome.”

Slowly all eyes turned towards Butch and Buttercup who had closed their mouths but were still staring at one another.

Buttercup didn’t know what to say. She should feel overjoyed right? The man she had been pinning after all this time loved her back. But there was a small part of her brain that she couldn’t ignore and it was saying that it had to be a lie - it had to be or Butch would have said something to her before then...right?

“I - you love me?” It took a moment for her to realize that the words had come from her mouth.

“I guess there's no reason to deny it at this point huh?” Butch twitched - his own nervous tick he hadn’t had any luck in shaking.

“I um,” he paused, nervously looking around at their siblings, “I don’t really want to do this here. Can we, you know, go somewhere more… private?”

Buttercup swallowed nervously before offering up her apartment as a rendezvous since it was closer than his. The two departed without goodbyes, taking off as fast as they could to reach their destination.

“Well, I thought that went well.” Brick was smirking. The three glares he received indicated that the others did not share the same feeling.

……

“Would you just say something?” Butch sat nervously on Buttercup’s couch as she paced in front of him.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you love me too. Say that you want to be with me before I go insane about how much of an idiot I sound like right now.”

Buttercup stopped.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Mean what?”

“Do you really love me? Would you really look at me the way Boomer looks at Bubbles? Would you treat me with the same respect Brick treats Blossom? Would you miss me so much when I’m not around that you complain like Mike does about Robin?” She had worked herself up into a frenzy by the end of her rant.

“Buttercup, I already do those things, you’ve just never noticed.” His quiet reply broke something in her - those walls she had been building up for years and years to keep these feelings down. Now, they were all coming to the surface at full force.

She wasn’t sure who made the first move, him or her, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered is that they were together and he was kissing her as if she were air and he was suffocating. She’d never been kissed like this before and she finally understood what it meant to feel those fireworks that her sisters and friends always waxed poetic about.

“Wait.” It took all the power she had to pull away.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” He seemed scared- more scared than she had ever seen him the whole time they’d known each other.

“No. I just needed to tell you, before I forgot. I love you, Butch.”

As if a spark went off the two crashed back together. This time, instead of sleeping alone and wishing, the two lay - naked, sated, happy - in each other's arms. Whispered confessions of love and wanting shared between them until sleep finally took over. Nothing would ever be the same again, but maybe that was for the best.

#PPG #ppg fanfic #ppg greens #ppg buttercup #ppg butch #my writting #seriously this got out of hand

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mitchsmarners · 4 years

Text

it takes a village [sneak peak]

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] & stanley uris/patty uris [stanpat] (others as progresses) rating: teen audiences and up preview word count: 848 and unedited summary: 10 years after graduating high school, the losers are taking on adulthood. richie attempts to juggle time with his daughter, finding his big break and resurfacing feelings for an old flame. stan and patty try are trying to start a family as mike has to question if he’s found his true path. eddie struggles to express himself verbally, ben and beverly find that sometimes love isn’t enough and bill figures out his ending.

perma taglist: @jwilliambyers, @kaspzier @s-s-georgie, @transrich @eddiefuckinkaspbrak, @richietoaster @edstozler, @emgays, @anellope, @thorn-harvester-ven, @wheezyeds, @vipertooth, @tozierking, @billdenbrough, @trashmouthtozierr, @perseusjaxon, @loserslibrary (let me know if you want added!)

sneak peak under the cut:

“We should find the time to get the gang back together.” Richie Tozier said, barely looking up from the tea party he was currently hosting with Sam. Her black curls that revivaled her fathers were ducked under a backwards neon yellow baseball cap that in no way matched her strawberry print sundress. “A good old Losers reunion.”

“You don’t need to plan some elaborate reunion as an excuse to see Eddie, you know?” Stan Uris said dryly from behind the puzzle he was putting together on their living room table. “He lives in the city, you have his number. Just ask him to get coffee.”

Richie scoffed and shot Stan a dirty look. “I said Losers Reunion, not Richie and Eddie reunion. It has nothing to do with seeing Eddie, I don’t even know who that is.”

Patty snickered from where she was curled up with a book on the loveseat, and Sam mimicked the sound. Richie couldn’t help but smile, it wasn’t very often that they were all home. Patty worked at River East Elementary School teaching kindergarten, and was therefore gone all week and home only on weekends. Stan had similar hours at the bank, but Richie’s schedule was all over the place and completely unpredictable. This was the first weekend he’d had off since he’d started at DreamWorks TV nearly a year earlier. He was hoping that he’d start getting more weekends off- he worried he was missing out on too much of Sam’s life.

Samantha Tozier had never been part of the plan, but Richie wouldn’t trade her for anything. Richie and her mother, Sandy Gill, had only been seeing each other casually when she’d found out she was pregnant. They’d tried throughout the pregnancy to make it work, but they couldn’t pretend to be in love with each other. They barely knew each other, really, and only a couple of months after Sam had been born, Sandy had tearfully told Richie that this wasn’t the life she wanted. She wanted to travel and be free, she didn’t want to be a mom and that she was sorry. Richie had understood- it wasn’t the life he’d expected either, but he adapted to it quickly and loved it more than he’d thought he would. Last he’d heard from Sandy had been 8 months earlier, and she was living somewhere in South Africa. He sometimes worried about what Sam was missing out on with her mother gone, but he felt it was the better option than having Sandy resent being forced to stay around. Plus, she had Stan and Patty in her life, which was better than any parents. Richie knew that for a fact.

Stan and Patty were trying to get pregnant, Patty had told him a couple weeks earlier. They were having problems, but Richie and Stan hadn’t talked about it. Richie thought that maybe he was embarrassed. Two of his closest friends had found themselves with surprise children out of the blue, and he couldn’t get his own wife with child after months of trying. It was nothing to be ashamed of, Richie knew, but he also knew that Stan likely wouldn’t see it that way.

“Besides, Eddie has a boyfriend.” Richie said with a long sigh. “Haven’t you heard? They’re the It couple of the business world these days.”

Eddie Kaspbrak was the one who got away. Throughout puberty, Richie had been absolutely in love with him. He’d been the awakening to Richie’s deeply, deeply repressed homosexual feelings. Eddie had made the summer before high school a hell of emotion overload, and it hadn’t really gotten any better in years. The five months they’d been together in Richie’s junior year had been one of the happiest times of Richie’s life. But Richie’s junior year had been Eddie’s senior year, and Richie knew that their relationship was going to hold Eddie back from getting out of Derry (and away from his crazy ass insane mother) and Richie couldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t proud of everything he did as their relationship fell apart, and he didn’t blame Eddie for not keeping in touch after he left. He’d been friendly enough at Stan’s wedding, but they weren’t exactly texting buddies even now. Though Richie couldn’t deny that some lingering feelings had made themselves apparent after seeing Eddie at the wedding.

Not just little feelings, either, no. Full blown Oh it’s you. I’ve always been waiting for type bullshit. Richie liked to downplay it as much as possible, but he figured that Stan and Patty had figured it out. They were just giving him space, they were both extremely good at knowing when to push Richie and when to back off. Richie had fucked things up with Eddie- good reasons be damned- and Eddie was better off. He was rich and successful and verified on fucking Twitter. He didn’t need some loser high school ex boyfriend whose job was to fetch coffee for people who were verified on Twitter with a pre-school aged daughter dragging him down. Best if Richie just moved on.

#it fic #reddie #reddie fic #stanpat #stanpat fic #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my writing #itav #aka ashley back at it again with the kid fics

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s-oulpunk · 4 years

Text

Bill first meets Stan through Richie. He creates a group chat to create, in a word, chaos. The group chat lasts a fairly long time, as long as group chats can, but it isn’t long until it’s forgotten, lost in the depths of Bill’s messages. What isn’t forgotten, however, is Stan’s number, secure in its own private chat.

Bill likes Stan. Likes his seemingly endless knowledge of birds. Likes his witty, dry humor. Likes the music recommendations he sends at odd hours of the night.

But he doesn’t like him like that.

They’re friends. Bill likes friends. He doesn’t have very many, but he likes them. And they’ve been harder to find, due to his increasing self-isolation.

His baby brother has just died. Seemingly disappeared into thin air. And despite how hard Bill tries to stay kind, it makes him see red. There’s always anger inside him. It crawls just under his skin, fighting to get out.

Anger makes it hard to make friends.

But he has Stan, and Stan is enough. He’s sweet. He listens when Bill needs him to, and doesn’t push when Bill doesn't.

The only problem, Stan likes him like that.

He never says anything, not outright, but Bill knows.

He knows because Stan has told him he had “always wanted to be his friend.” He knows because Stan’s type is eerily similar to himself. He knows because Stan never denies an offer to text until 3 in the morning, even when he has places to be the next day.

And it makes Bill feel a little guilty, because Stan’s nice. Great, in fact. Anyone would be lucky to have him. But Bill doesn’t need a boyfriend, he needs a friend.

Stan seems to understand. He never once complains, never blames Bill. Because he’s good like that. It’s ingrained in his bones. He doesn’t know how to not be good.

Bill and Stan don’t go to the same school.

Stan goes to school with Richie and the rest of his friends, a short wheezy boy named Eddie and a soft hearted boy named Ben. Bill goes to school with his own friends, a fiery girl named Beverly and a boy with a heart of gold named Mike.

They’re nice, and he loves them. But Stan is special.

They’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Stan, but, boy oh boy, do they know who he is. He talks about him nonstop, and when he isn’t talking about him, he’s texting him. Even if it’s hard to find time to see each other in person, they’re always together.

One time Stan leaves his sweatshirt at Bill’s house. Bill wears it to school the next day, for safekeeping. Bev and Mike giggle and share knowing looks, but Bill ignores them. They don’t understand.

By the time Stan gets around to visiting him at school, he’s practically famous. Bev and Mike know nearly everything about him, all their friends have heard the stories, and everyone else at least knows his name.

He’s coming to see a play Bill wrote. A play Bill is really proud of, and he wants Stan to see it. He wants everyone to see it, but Stan especially.

Despite the dozens of people in the audience, Stan is the only one Bill invited. He’s the only one whose opinion really matters.

That summer, Bill goes away to camp.

It’s a writing camp, for a whole month, a few states away. A whole month without seeing Stan. It sucks, Bill misses him like crazy, but they talk every day. Bill tells him his ideas for his stories, Stan tells him about the birds he sees back home. It’s not the same, but it’s enough.

Bill meets Audra there.

She’s nice. She’s really pretty. And, best of all, she thinks Bill’s real cute. And she lets him kiss her after classes, alone in his dorm when the world is asleep and the only one around to see them in the moon.

He tells Stan, of course he does. Stan says he’s happy for him. Richie says Stan’s jealous.

Bill tries not to think about that too much.

Next year is senior year.

Bill’s happier now.

Sometimes he still feels that same old anger in his chest. But anger’s just an emotion. Everyone feels anger. What does it matter if Bill feels it stronger? He feels happiness too. He feels an overwhelming amount of happiness.

Stan’s happy too.

He has a girlfriend now, her name is Patty. Bill thinks she’s nice. He thinks they’re sweet together. He also thinks his favorite moments are when Stan hugs him.

Bill doesn’t have a girlfriend. Audra’s nice, and he still talks to her sometimes, but she lives in California and long distance isn’t something Bill wants to commit to. Besides, while Audra’s wonderful, they don’t click. He wants a relationship with someone who’s also his best friend.

About halfway through the year, he realizes something important:

Stan’s his best friend.

He’s in love with Stan.

But Stan likes Patty, and what kind of person would Bill be if he broke them up? So Bill doesn’t say anything at all. Instead he deals with the longing that lingers in his chest, and tries to ignore the looks Mike and Bev send his way. They think he should tell Stan. Bill thinks they’re living in a fantasy.

Then Bill meets Connor.

Connor’s nice. Connor’s sweet. Bill likes Connor.

Except he doesn’t. Because Connor’s not nice, he’s not sweet. He doesn’t listen to anything Bill says on their first date. He laughs at all the wrong times on their second date. He gets too handsy on their third date.

But Bill’s lonely. And angry. So they keep dating.

Except they’re not dating-dating. It’s not like he’s his boyfriend. Bill doesn’t want a boyfriend. Bill still lies when Connor asks if there’s anyone else in his life.

A few days later, Connor tells him they should be together.

Bill doesn’t know what to say. So, apparently, he has a boyfriend now.

That thought makes his stomach squirm and skin grow tight. But he’s sure it’ll pass. He likes Connor. It will work out. It has to work out.

Stan doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore. Him and Patty broke up only a few weeks ago. It’s too soon and too late to confess. Too soon after Stan’s breakup, too late now that Bill has a new relationship.

A few days later, Connor kisses him. Bill cries alone in his bedroom afterwards.

He spends nearly a week fretting over the fact that he has to “break up” with Connor. They’re not even supposed to be together.

Now he has to get out of something he never even agreed to be a part of.

Connor takes it well enough, if Bill ignores the few snarky remarks here and there.

He still doesn’t say anything to Stan. They don’t talk as often as they used to. Bill misses him. But he doesn’t want to ruin the last bit of friendship they have.

It’s been weeks before he realizes it doesn’t matter. What does he have to lose?

He calls him before he can change his mind, never minding that its nearing 1 in the morning.

“Hey,” Stan says, sounding only a little bit tired. Bill had missed his voice. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Bill says breathlessly. “I think I’m in love with you.”

#whats up guys i was sad so i wrote this little drabble instead of working on my wips #stenbrough #bill denbrough #stanley uris #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #stan uris #bev marsh #IT fanfic #IT fanfiction #stenbrough fanfic #stenbrough fanfiction

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reyescarlos · 4 years

Text

we found each other in the dark

chapter 3/4: heavy in your arms; word count: 6.6k || read on ao3

And is it worth the wait? All this killing time? Are you strong enough to stand Protecting both your heart and mine?

Eddie expected to have an eventful first day at the 118 but he couldn’t have possibly imagined the night would end like this.

Bobby had told him this morning that each shift was like playing Russian roulette. Some calls were minor, scenarios that the team could get through quickly enough without anyone’s life hanging in the balance. But the flip side to that were high stakes moments where one bad decision could mean death.

Eddie was used to working under pressure. He was certain that nothing could be more daunting than trying to save someone’s life and maintain his own while in the middle of a war zone. By comparison, the streets of L.A. would be milder, easier to tame, he figured. So, to find himself now staring down at a 40 mike-mike is startling, bringing his mind back to his tours in Afghanistan. How crazy, he thinks, that he would leave the military behind only to be faced with the weaponry in his civilian life. It’s a lucky thing, Eddie supposes, that he’s here for this now. He has a particular skill set that can very well save this man’s life.

Bobby calls it in to the hospital as they wheel the gentleman across the lawn and get him loaded up into the back of the ambulance.

“We have a 65-year old male with large shrapnel in his right thigh. Femoral artery damage…”

It’s hard not to get caught up in the belief of destiny when this is the kind of call he responds to on his first day with the team.

The gentleman, Charlie, is essentially a ticking time bomb and as he speaks his fears of dying tonight aloud, Eddie is grateful to have Buck with him now. As he gets the drip set up, Buck is there to settle the older man down, assuring him that he’s going to survive the night. Buck glances to Eddie and in his eyes, he sees Buck’s confidence in him. Eddie isn’t expecting such faith from the man seeing as though they’ve only just met but it feels good, he won’t deny, to have someone believe in his capabilities.

More often than not Eddie feels as if he’s stumbling through his life just hoping for something to stick but situations like this are ones he tends to thrive in. The irony doesn’t escape him. Day-to-day life is a challenge. Matters of life and death bring out his sense of calm.

Eddie assesses the damage, quickly working through the best course of action. Charlie’s words slur and soon he’s under, giving Eddie and Buck the chance to work in absolute silence.

“Tell me what you need me to do,” is all Buck says as he settles in beside Eddie, looking to him expectantly.

Buck takes a backseat and follows Eddie’s instructions to the letter, clearly realizing that even though he’s been with the LAFD for however long, it’s Eddie’s experience as a military medic that can decide the fate of this man. It’s quite the test for them to have on their first day but Eddie is relieved to see they’re able to meet the challenge head on and work so well with one another.

Buck is good at reading the terrain and anticipating what he’ll need next, an invaluable skill to have in a partner, Eddie notes.

Eddie can feel Buck’s eyes boring a hole into him as he tries not to disturb the grenade too much. One false move and all three of them won’t make it. With clear knowledge and practiced hands, Eddie works carefully as he extracts the grenade from the man’s leg, with Buck continuing to keep pressure against area to prevent Charlie from bleeding out. Eddie has been through much worse, much more intense situations than this controlled environment but this scenario is still grave. He feels confident, however, in his element somehow and that clears his mind enough to successfully dislodge the grenade.

“Get that box open,” he says, though Buck is unsurprisingly already flipping open the lid beside him. They’re still not in the clear yet but the second he hears the contact of metal against metal, Eddie can’t help but to let out a shaky breath of relief.

Buck is beaming at him, a mix of wonder and disbelief on his sweaty face.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Buck says.

“I can’t believe you’re still holding that thing and we’re still in here. Let’s go.”

Buck’s laugh is hearty and Eddie feels the timbre of it somewhere in the pit of his stomach, along with a strange tug of some kind. Eddie chalks it up to adrenaline and opens the door to the ambulance to make the hand off to the bomb squad.

“Hell of a first day, huh?” Buck notes as the ambulance pulls away, that playful smile on his lips again.

It’s growing on Eddie already, the way Buck acts as if the two are co-conspirators who share some kind of secret. It manages to draw him in and make him feel included in something even though this is all still so new. It’s been far too long since Eddie’s felt close to anyone, or even felt the inclination to let someone in. He’s used to keeping the world at an arm’s length but in just one day, Buck has managed to ease past those walls he’s been putting up. If he’s to keep to his objective for life in L.A., Eddie knows he has to do things differently this time around.

If that means forming a friendship with new his co-worker, he supposes it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to open himself up a bit more. The purpose of his move was to start over, to reinvent himself and grow. Eddie liked the idea of creating a new kind of family for himself. Judging by this trial by fire experience, Buck seems like the perfect starting point.

“Good work you two,” Bobby compliments as the pair take off the vests given to them by the bomb squad.

Eddie looks over at Buck and smiles. “He can have my back any day. I couldn’t have asked for a better a partner in there.”

It’s the honest truth. From their calls earlier, Eddie had gotten the distinct impression that Buck thrived off the high of rescuing people, of the danger in this profession. But when it came time to dial back and let someone take control of the wheel, he’d done so without question. They strike the perfect chord with each other and for Eddie, that bodes extremely well. Good chemistry was hard to come by but for them it’s organic. It feels like it’s been a lifetime since Eddie’s instinctively clicked with someone to this degree.

He supposes maybe this feeling is due largely in part to the fact that their kinship was just forged by fire. But if there were ever a measurement by which to set such a thing to, Eddie feels safe in saying this experience would bond them for a long time to come.

Buck smiles back at him, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“Or, maybe, you could have mine,” he counters. He gives Eddie’s shoulder a light squeeze. “Welcome to the 118. We’re damn lucky to have you.”

But Eddie hears a different set of words behind the ones Buck has just uttered.

Welcome to the family. This is where you belong.

~*~*~

As they hang around the loft between calls, Buck and Eddie settle around the table grabbing a quick bite. Eddie takes his phone out of his back pocket and sets it on the table. The screen comes to life and Buck’s eyes immediately take notice of Eddie’s lock screen. The image is of Eddie with a young boy, their cheeks pressed tightly together to fit into the frame. He doesn’t mean to be nosy but that’s a hard thing to miss.

Eddie notices, his expression soft as he looks at his phone.

“That’s Christopher,” he says. “My son.”

Buck sits up at this bit of information. Of all the things he’s been trying to imagine about Eddie, he hadn’t expected him to be a dad. Eddie unlocks his phone and pulls up a new photo and hands it to over to him.

Buck takes the phone, his smile almost as bright as Christopher’s in the photo. Chris has got a big grin on his face as he stands with the Ferris wheel at the pier in the background on a cloudless, sunny day.

“He’s ridiculously cute. How do you keep from spoiling him rotten?” Buck laughs, grinning at the photo for a beat longer before looking up at Eddie. “How old is he?”

“Just about nine actually. I can’t believe the years have been going by so quickly.”

Buck sucks in a breath. He’s been haunted by that precise length of time. It’s too coincidental not to mean what he thinks it does. Buck has been allowing himself to dive in slowly to the idea of claiming Eddie as his soulmate. Between the rush he felt when they first met to how natural they are with each other to this discovery that nine years ago Eddie had created a family supports his budding theory. This would explain perfectly why nine years ago he stopped getting updates to his marking.

It’s all matching up perfectly into place like a key in a lock. Buck just wonders what’s waiting on the other side of the door for him when he eventually pushes on it.

“Nine? That’s a fun age, right before the double digits kick in. Kids are such a blast,” Buck says, sitting back in his seat and handing Eddie back his phone.

“You like kids?”

“Oh, I love them. They’re way cooler than adults, that’s for sure. I like how they see the world, you know? They’re just taking it all in and learning about things for the first time. It’s awesome. Plus, they’re hilarious and rarely ever have a filter. You’ve got to respect that kind of honesty.”

Eddie smiles at him and Buck can’t help but to think his response passes some kind of test. Eddie looks satisfied with his answer, setting his phone back down and picking up his fork again, spearing a piece of fruit on the prongs.

“Judging by that picture I’m guessing he’s liking Cali a lot, huh?”

Eddie laughs. “You could say that again. He barely even mentions Texas. All he wants to do is explore the city. It’s been great for us, the move. I still have a few loose ends to tie up though.”

Buck raises a brow. He doesn’t want to push the matter too much but the statement intrigues him a bit.

“I’ve almost got his school situation figured out. I had a meeting a few days ago with the school coordinator but...,” he trails off, looking away. Buck isn’t sure he’s going to continue until he clears his throat and speaks. “They need to speak with Chris’ mom first. She has an interview with them tomorrow. If that goes smoothly, he should be enrolling with them.”

Buck shifts in his seat, his head erupting with questions about Chris’ mother. Whether they’re still together is the most pressing of them all. From Eddie’s tone and hesitancy, Buck can tell they aren’t on the best of terms. Eddie called her Chris’ mom, not his wife or partner. It’s a stretch but Buck is flexible enough to make it work.

“I haven’t seen her since the divorce but this is important. I really want Chris to get into this school. It’s perfect for him.”

Buck’s thoughts are split evenly in two, torn between the sheer relief in he feels in hearing Eddie isn’t married anymore and the concern he feels in seeing how worked up Eddie is over Christopher’s schooling.

“I’m sure her talk will go well. I know there’s a lot riding on this but she has to know that too and I’m sure she’ll crush the interview because of it.”

Eddie stares at him for a moment, his brown eyes meeting with his blue. Land and sea, Buck thinks, two components that make up a world.

“Thank you,” Eddie says simply but Buck feels the full weight of it.

“Anytime.”

~*~*~

Eddie’s fingertips drum an uneven beat against his knee as he waits for Shannon to show up. It’s ridiculous, he’s well aware, to feel this antsy over seeing a woman he’s known for almost half his life. But these last nine years, their relationship had risen and fallen like a heavy breath. Now that it was out of both their systems, Eddie isn’t sure how to function around her.

He keeps an eye out for her and rises awkwardly off the park bench as she approaches. He waves at her, trying to gauge what kind of mood she’s in from a distance. She’s got on a flowing yellow dress that makes her look like sunshine. Her smile is just as warm too.

Eddie relaxes at the sight of that and takes it as reassurance that this talk will go well. It’s strange seeing her now. She looks different to him and Eddie has to wonder if she sees changes in him too.

“How’d it go over at the school?” he asks as they both sit down.

Shannon sits back and stretches her legs out, letting them cross at the ankles.

“Pretty well. They seem excited to have Chris enroll. You picked out a great school for him.”

Eddie takes the compliment with a simple nod and a quiet word of thanks.

“How…how is he? Is Chris liking it out here?” she asks tentatively, dipping a toe into uncertain waters.

Eddie unclenches his jaw and nods. She’s making an effort and Eddie knows this can’t be easy for her, to be sidelined in her own child’s life. Even though she had made the decision to take time to find herself, Eddie can see that it’s taking its toll on her to be away from their son. He can extend a kindness, an olive branch of some kind by way of decent conversation.

“He loves it so much. I think he wants to live at the pier,” he muses. He’s taken Chris down a few times now just to watch the waves and enjoy the beautiful weather. “He’s doing really well here and honestly, it’s a relief,” he sighs.

When he’d told his family he was leaving, they’d gotten into his head a bit that uprooting Christopher from Texas could have a damaging impact on his son. But he knew better than they did about Chris’ resiliency and adaptability. Chris was the kind of person who could make himself comfortable anywhere. It was a trait Eddie prayed his son would never lose. He knew all too well what it felt like to struggle for a bit of semblance. Luckily, Chris didn’t seem to have that problem.

Shannon stays quiet and Eddie desperately wishes he could open up her mind and see the thoughts that live there. There’s an unnamed tension between them, an awkwardness that Eddie doesn’t know how to get around. He supposes, with their history, it makes sense but he wants better for them both.

He decides to switch gears. If they’re really going to have a clear road ahead, he needs to do whatever he can to show Shannon that they’re on solid ground now. It’s exhausting constantly being at odds with her. Now that they’re divorced and no longer confined to the box they’d shoved themselves into, they both have room to breathe and grow. Hadn’t that always been a wish he had for them? For the two to mend the bridge that had given way years ago? They are in a different place now and Eddie knows he has to adjust his outlook accordingly.

“I don’t want us to be angry or upset with each other anymore. I want us to…I don’t know, be better to one another than we have been in the past. I don’t think I can carry those feelings inside me anymore. It’s draining and I don’t have the energy for it. I never really did.”

This seems to be the right set of words because Shannon blinks back tears and smiles at him.

“I would love that.”

Eddie sighs in relief and this time the quiet that settles between them is comfortable.

“Can I ask you something kind of ridiculous and personal?” Shannon says, tucking one of her legs under her, fanning out her dress over her legs smoothly.

“Should I be afraid?”

She laughs and it feels good to be able to joke around with her again. These are tentative steps but it feels reassuring to think he could be on his way to getting his old friend back.

“Eh, it could go either way.” She pauses for a beat before continuing. “Have you met Eva yet? I’ve been thinking a lot about your move and imagining you finding her out here.”

Eddie thinks it says a lot about where their relationship left off that Shannon is so casual in discussing him with another woman, a soulmate at that. It’d been awkward for the both of them seeing the makings of names on each other that weren’t theirs. They’d never talked about it explicitly but Eddie figured it was just as strange for her to wrap her mind around as it had been for him during their nine years together.

“Actually, it’s Evan not Eva,” he drawls, trying to get used to the taste of the name on his tongue. His heart is racing with the confession. How much will this change the way she sees him?

Eddie doesn’t even look at her. He fumbles with his watch and takes it off, showing her the soulmate marking. They both stare in silence at his wrist. It had been a complete shock to his system when it appeared so he can’t blame her for being stunned over the news.

“Wow. Wow, that’s…I don’t have any other word,” she laughs.

Eddie turns to look at her then. She looks surprised, of course, but happy. Eddie’s brows furrow.

“Where’d you meet him?”

“I’m not sure exactly,” he says, flipping the inside of his wrist back over, pressing it against his thigh. “I’ve been trying to figure it out. I think he’s someone I bumped into outside of a coffee shop but I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since. I didn’t even see his face that day, actually.”

Shannon’s smile turns into a frown at this.

“Oh, Eddie. I’m sorry.” He can tell she really means it. “But at least you know he’s out there. Whenever you do find him, don’t let go.”

Eddie searches her face for a moment, looking into her eyes and for a fleeting moment his mind drifts to a different set of blue eyes, ones that he’s grown so accustomed to in the short time he’s been working at the 118. It’s a startling thought that seems to come from nowhere. Eddie does his best to cast it aside. Buck isn’t where his thoughts should be right now, despite the fact that the other man has been on his mind more and more as of late.

Shannon takes him in as well before she continues to speak.

“I know you, Eddie. I know you’re probably scared over the fact that this is actually happening for you. But please remember you deserve to be happy. Despite everything we’ve been through, or maybe because of it, all I want is for you to be able to let the right love in. Evan is your soulmate, whether you’re ready for it or not. When you meet for real, don’t run from it, please.”

It isn’t lost on Eddie that this is the second person in a little over a week to tell him not to be afraid of his destiny. The women in his life know him better than anyone else. There’s no hiding from his grandmother who always had a knack for understanding him since he was a child. And Shannon had cultivated a life with him. Eddie couldn’t avoid being known by either of them. He could hide and keep himself from the rest of the world but these two were in the rare category that could see through it all to the heart of him each and every time.

Eddie wipes at his eye and laughs nervously. “I don’t know if I’ll be good for him. I’m kind of still figuring things out these days.”

Shannon reaches out a hand and holds onto his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“That’s sort of the point of a soulmate though, isn’t it?” she says, peering at him, lifting a brow knowingly. “To love you unconditionally, no matter what kind of state you’re in?”

Eddie can’t refute this argument. He had always liked the idea of being able to turn to someone at the end of the day and speak openly about what he was feeling. He was able to do that with Shannon at times during their marriage, of course, but the tension between them made it hard for Eddie to cross the divide that lived with them sometimes. He imagined being with a soulmate would be the exact opposite, that even if they were upset with each other they’d still be a harbor for one another.

“I hate it when you’re right,” he jokes.

“You poor thing. Then you must be upset all the time,” she quips.

Eddie laughs, a real sense of elation he hasn’t had around her in some time solidifying in his chest. They still have a way to go but this first step was a crucial one and Eddie feels as if they’re finally moving in the right direction together.

~*~*~

Days like today have quickly become Buck’s least favorite. He knows he can’t expect to work every shift with Eddie but still, the times when they aren’t together begin to grate at him. He feels selfish for how badly he craves Eddie’s time and attention but he can’t help it. Soulmate or not, he’s genuinely been enjoying getting to know his new co-worker. The two have found an easy rhythm with each other since Eddie’s first day. Buck supposes nothing bonds two people together faster than saving the life of someone else.

With Eddie out for the day, Buck feels restless.

“Aww, is someone missing their new best friend?” Chimney teases as Buck flops back against the sofa in the loft. “Look at that pout, Hen. We can go diving off that lower lip.”

Buck tosses a cushion at him as Hen laughs at the two of them. Chimney lobs it back and jokingly flips him off, revealing his soulmate marking on his middle finger, the word Mad branded there. He thinks it’s the height of comedy. Buck has to agree it is pretty hilarious.

Hen nestles in beside him and pats the top of his head.

“Come on now. Buck up, Buck,” she muses. Chimney reaches over to give her a high five and Buck rolls his eyes playfully.

“A couple of comedians here.” He rises from his seat, ignoring their outcry for him to come back. They get over it quickly, starting up a new conversation by the time Buck makes it to the dining table.

They’re absolutely correct and Buck can’t even pretend to deny that. He’s gotten so accustomed to having Eddie around that a day without him just doesn’t feel right. He feels…unmoored somehow and Buck wishes he could have a definitive explanation for why that is. He has his theory, of course, but a proven hypothesis is what he longs for most of all.

The thought of asking Eddie outright what his first name is terrifies him. He doesn’t trust himself to have a neutral reaction if he were to hear it directly from Eddie’s lips. What he needs is a filter, a buffer of some kind to absorb his shock should his suspicion pan out to be correct.

Bobby is in the kitchen getting started on dinner.

“Hey, Cap,” Buck calls over as he goes into the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “What’s Eddie short for?”

As he closes the door to the refrigerator and looks to Bobby, the man has stopped chopping peppers and is standing still, looking at him.

“Why do you ask?”

Buck busies himself with twisting off the bottle cap but he can still feel Bobby’s eyes fixed on him.

“No reason; I was just wondering. I mean, I know I could ask him,” he says, hoping his tone is nonchalant. “But you’re here right now so…I figured you could answer just the same since you’ve seen all his paperwork and stuff.”

Bobby holds his gaze for a beat before returning to prep the meal and Buck is glad for it. Sometimes his captain just seemed to fix him with a stare that went right through him. There were so many things he didn’t want anyone else to see and Buck always had the feeling Bobby was skilled in noticing private things, even if he didn’t voice his findings out loud.

“His first name is Edmundo but, as you know, he prefers going by Eddie.”

Buck pretends not to notice Bobby’s eyes flickering up to him again. He just takes a sip of his water and nods.

“Cool,” he says, trying to keep his tone indifferent but inside Buck feels as if he can just about burst at any second. He isn’t sure which is racing faster, his heart or his thoughts.

Buck still can’t shake the feeling that he’s showed his hand in a way he can’t bounce back from but he couldn’t stop himself from asking the question. It’d been gnawing at him having this question mark dangling over his head. At least he could finally put that mystery to rest officially. If the cost of that information was making Bobby suspicious, it was a price he was willing to pay. Any bit of information that could bring him one step closer to certainty would be worth it, ten times over in fact.

But for the sake of not drawing Bobby’s eye too closely to the situation, Buck does his best to change Bobby’s train of thought, whatever track it may be on.

He reaches over the island and snags a piece of meat off one of the cutting boards. As he expects, the move is enough to shift Bobby’s focus. His captain swats at his hand and points his finger at him.

“What are you, a dog swiping scraps off the table?” Bobby jokingly reprimands, shaking his head. “You know, you really shouldn’t tick off the guy with a knife in his hand.”

Buck grins and wiggles his brows as he tosses the food into his mouth and walks away, successfully dodging a bullet and distracting Bobby from getting close to whatever conclusion he seemed to be gearing up towards.

It isn’t until he’s heading down the stairs, past Hen and Chim, and is safely on his own that his thoughts begin to spiral in earnest. His hands shake as he holds on to the railing to keep from losing his balance. He’s coming undone at the seams. This confirmation is too much for him and the worst part of all is that he has no one to talk to about it now.

Buck keeps moving forward, his legs working on their own accord to take him outside of the station. His body knows that what he needs is time to himself to process this information. Breathless, he presses his back against the side of the building, the surface hot but he doesn’t care. He needs the support of the brick wall to keep him standing. The question of who his soulmate was had plagued him for almost a decade and now that he has an answer, Buck isn’t even sure what to do with it.

He knew he felt drawn to Eddie, literally from the moment they met. He had sensed it. Buck was a personable guy; he got along well with virtually everyone but that instantaneous connection to Eddie felt different to him. Buck had wondered if he was just so keyed up on the idea that Eddie was meant for him, as if he had on rose colored glasses but the truth was, he had been seeing the situation for what it was exactly. That spark was a flare, an internal signal alerting him to the fact that something big was happening here.

Buck presses his fingertips against his ribs, the move so instinctual since the name first appeared. It’s like air to him now. He may not be able to see it but he knows it’s there. More often than not, it feels like the only thing sustaining him. Discovering that Eddie is in fact Edmundo is similar to learning the meaning of a word that you’ve come across often but never looked up. You’re aware of its existence but it’s abstract until knowledge is gained.

Buck’s eyes sting and he feels as if he could just scream. For as much as he hated the fact that Eddie has the day off, he’s glad to be away from him in this moment. He’s in no fit state to be around him now. He wouldn’t trust himself to keep from shouting the truth that’s desperately trying to claw its way free, demanding to be heard.

~*~*~

The station’s alarm blares, drowning out the sound of the simulation game Hen and Buck are playing. They drop their controllers and hop to their feet, ready to gear up.

“Hen and Chim, I need you two to ride over in the ambulance. Eddie and Buck, you’re with me. Let’s go, guys,” Bobby instructs.

The team doesn’t hesitate to fall into line with Bobby’s orders. Buck grabs his helmet and hurries to the rig, swinging open the door and climbing inside, Eddie right on his heels. Bobby has the truck pulling out of the station just a few seconds later.

As always when they’re sent out on a call, Buck’s adrenaline races wildly. He’s already trying to imagine what scenario they’ll find themselves in, coming up with tactics he could use to help those in need before even arriving at the scene. If he can be prepared in any way, even by way of a hypothetical simulation in his head, Buck will be grateful for it. Sometimes seconds is all it takes between making sure someone can return home to their families that day or them never seeing their loved ones again.

As Bobby cuts through the streets, his hand heavy against the horn at times, Eddie looks at his phone screen and purses his lips. Buck knows he shouldn’t pry but he can’t stop himself from speaking up, seeing how distressed Eddie’s expression is.

“Everything alright?” he asks over the headset.

Eddie glances up at him as if weighing what to say before he sighs.

“Not really. My aunt is saying she isn’t sure she can watch Chris next week like she thought she’d be able to. I need to find someone in case it turns out she can’t. I haven’t been meeting too many people out here and either way, I’d hate to have to ask that favor.”

Buck thinks for a second. “I know a woman who could help,” he offers up.

“Are you trying to play matchmaker?” Eddie jokes.

Buck resists the urge to grimace at this. Like he would ever deign to pair Eddie up with someone else, as if the man’s name hadn’t been branded on his skin for days now. Eddie was his, even if the other man was none the wiser. Buck wouldn’t compromise that for anything.

Regardless, that wasn’t even remotely close to where Buck was going with this conversation so he dismisses Eddie inquiry with a laugh and roll of the eyes.

“Not in the way you’re clearly thinking right now. Her name is Carla Price and she is possibly the most badass caregiver in the whole city.”

He skips over the details of how it is he came to know Carla. Abby hasn’t crossed his mind in ages and he’d rather not get hung up with her in the back of his thoughts.

“Wait, seriously? Do you think she’d be willing to meet with me?”

Buck nods and fishes his phone out of the inside of his jacket. He sends a quick text to Carla and she responds less than a minute later.

“She’s up for it. If you’re free tonight, she says she’s available to chat.”

The smile that washes over Eddie’s face makes Buck’s brain short circuit for a second. All he ever wants to do is keep Eddie in good spirits, to ensure his peace of mind however possible.

“Buck, I owe you. Whatever you want, it’s yours. Just say the word.”

Buck falters for the briefest of seconds before smiling to cover it.

“It’s nothing. I’m just glad I could help you out somehow.” His voice sounds different in his own ears but Eddie might be too distracted and overjoyed with the good news to notice it.

Buck bites back on the inside of his lower lip and glances away, unable to look at Eddie right now. He’s certain the truth of what he wants is written plainly on his face. He’s sick with want, filled to the brim with longing. It’s a wonder Eddie can’t hear the call Buck’s soul makes to his regularly.

He looks out through the small window in the back of the truck to see how close they are to the scene and to look at anything but Eddie. What he finds is that Bobby’s peering at him through the rear-view mirror before turning his focus back on the road. Buck can feel his cheeks flushing and is glad for the hot day to be the perfect cover for the sudden change in hue.

He wishes the comms had a private channel he could speak on. Bobby was too good at reading between the lines.

~*~*~

It’s the end of their workday and the team hangs about the station around their engine, recounting the day they’ve had. Hen is adjusting her shirt, her wife Karen’s name visible on her collarbone. Eddie wonders what it would be like to be that confident in showing his soulmate marking off. In theory he could do so at work but for nine years, Eddie has gotten into the habit of hiding it.

At first it had been to avoid throwing the reminder in Shannon’s face every single day. Now it’s just become second nature. If he’s being completely honest, there’s also a small part of him that isn’t ready to make that bold of a statement. He’s comfortable in his sexuality and clearly the 118 isn’t close-minded but he isn’t even sure what label suits him best. His soulmate marking calls into question a lot of things he’s suppressed over the years. Being in L.A. as a whole is dredging up those dormant feelings.

He’s had fleeting attractions to guys every now and then but these days he finds himself focusing on one guy in particular even though he knows he has no business feeling anything towards Buck. He’s his co-worker and nothing more. He can’t be anything else to him. Eddie’s already disregarded his soulmate marking once before. He can’t bear to go down that road a second time.

Sometimes, he’d try discreetly to see if by some strange miracle his name is on Buck’s body but to no avail. He’s constantly torn between thinking Buck is skilled at hiding it like he is with his own marking or that the truth is staring him in the face and they aren’t meant for each other. The latter is a terrifying thought, especially since Eddie has been quietly taking a real liking to the man already but it’s just as well. Eddie’s never been lucky in love. Why should that change now?

“You good, Eddie?” Hen asks, pulling him from his thoughts.

Eddie looks around at the group, their faces all expectant. He clears his throat.

“Yeah, just daydreaming, I guess.”

She regards him thoughtfully and her kind, concerned gaze is like a serum that manages to pull more words out of him.

“I just noticed your marking,” he says, pointing to his own collarbone. Hen breaks into a wide smile and places a hand over where her wife’s name is printed on her skin.

Eddie wishes he could have that sense of ease. The matter of soulmates has always been such a sensitive topic for him, a source of stress.

Hen must see something in his face because her head tilts a bit to the side.

“Have you gotten yours?” she asks.

Eddie glances around at the group. These people are supposed to be his family after all. He can trust them and speak as freely as he’s comfortable with.

“Yeah, but I don’t think it makes much of a difference either way.”

Buck looks affronted as Chimney and Hen share a glance.

“Why do you say that?” Chim asks, leaning a shoulder against the side of the truck.

Eddie shrugs, struggling with the right words as he always seems to do any time he talks about something so personal.

“It feels a little too good to be true when you stop to consider it. Maybe for some folks it works out perfectly, like for you and Karen. But, I’m not so sure that’ll be the case for me. My soulmate and I have already gotten off on the wrong foot, I think. It’s…complicated,” he settles on saying.

“Like a Facebook status?” Chim interjects.

Hen presses her fingertips to her forehead, dropping her head down. “You’ll have to excuse him. His foot has a habit of landing in his mouth. There’s no cure for it, unfortunately.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “I’m just not in a rush to find them right now is all. If it happens, great. If not, it’ll be alright too. I guess I’m good with just playing it by ear, you know? Whatever happens, happens.”

That’s the mantra he’s been adapting for himself now. Evan has been elusive since the man’s name first appeared on his flesh. Every day he’s had to look down and see it plastered on his skin but still he is nowhere near closer to finding him than he’d been on day one.

Chimney shrugs and nods in understanding. “I get that, too. I mean, they’re our soulmates, right? They’ll turn up. I’m just happy to know it’s going to happen,” he laughs, looking at the budding marking on his finger.

Buck rises from off the back bumper of the truck suddenly, making everyone in the cluster look over at him.

“I really gotta get going, sorry, guys,” he mumbles, saying something else Eddie doesn’t catch.

Eddie frowns, unsure of what to make of Buck’s changing mood and apparent hurry to get home. Hen and Chimney look just as confused too as Buck hooks his duffle bag onto his shoulder and starts to walk straight ahead.

“See you tomorrow?” Eddie calls after him but he doesn’t think Buck hears him for the man does not reply.

#buck x eddie #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #sulkybbarnes #rafasilvas #bisexualbuck #starlightbuck #athenagrantt #userbones #tylerhunklin #captainstennerstar #maysgrant #userkinga #kimmy writes

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duker42 · 4 years

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Hey! I dont know if requests are open or not, but I hope that if they´re closed, that this one wont get lost in the void. I will wait patiently then when they´re open again. And i just HAVE to get this out of my head so I dont forget it. I read your Mike X Reader fic"First Heat" a while ago and it captivated me! And there I was thinking maybe you can do another story like this for Erwin? Maybe that Alpha!Erwin and his Omega!s/o arent together yet,

💜His Omega💜

The dynamics of the Alpha/Omega relationship were interesting to say the least. Mates were viewed as soulmates, something to hold onto immediately as soon as they were discovered. It was felt throughout the entire body at a mere brush of contact.

Y/N knew who her mate was, had figured it out as soon as she had shaken hands with the tall, blue eyed Commander of the Survey Corps. The electric energy that had bolted through both of their systems had made Y/N gasp and Erwin Smith pull his hand quickly away in shock.

As much as Levi chastised him for it, Erwin made sure to stay far away from the Omega as soon as he realized what that touch meant. He was the Commander, he had a mission to accomplish. Things like mates and bonds had no place in his carefully constructed plans. He didn’t admit how many times he looked at her file, the portrait of the woman staring up at him from the inside of the folder as he worked on different tasks.

Still, as much as he tried to deny the animalistic pull of their connection, when they did bump into each other, the slightest touch touch send that same power feeling through both of their bodies. Erwin couldn’t count the number of times he had brushed by her, only to turn and watch as she walked out of his sight.

She wasn’t going to beg. As much as her inner self called for her to. Y/N had too much pride to beg for anyone’s attention or affection. She had always assumed that she was too plain for the handsome and powerful Commander, that he felt he deserved a more worthy Omega as an Alpha. She supposed that was fair, she had never been impressed with her own physical attributes. She hadn’t even experienced her first heat, so she shrugged off his seeming rejection and carried on.

Even if she didn’t consider herself pretty, Y/N knew that she was talented. Hand to hand combat was always something she enjoyed. The physical exertion and satisfaction of taking down younger boys who thought they were tough shit just because they were Alphas was an incredibly satisfying rush for her.

Even Captain Levi couldn’t find fault with her moves and the ease in which she took down her opponents. He gave a nod of satisfaction and turned to leave, giving the class over to another veteran to continue training.

Erwin was walking down the halls when an overpowering scent hit him. An Omega in heat. The strong pheromones teased his nostrils. There was something so familiar about it, like he knew who that was.

Knowing that a fight would break out, Erwin changed directions and abandoned the meeting his was supposed to attend and headed to the source of the enticing scent. He jogged along the path to the training grounds, the sweet and intoxicating scent growing stronger with every step.

As he came over the hill, fury flooded his system. Y/N was on the ground, Nifa had her blades drawn protecting her while she was helpless.

She had gone into her first heat. The sweating, shaking, whining beautiful mess on the ground was calling out to him. His Alpha roared to life inside of him, jealous of all the ones that were scrambling to get to her.

Every Alpha was fighting each other, trying to get to the girl on the ground and claim her for themselves. His eyes narrowed as he rushed into the fray. The cadets were no match for the powerful Alpha, one that had spent years on the battlefield and fighting. A quick series of punches and kicks let him make a path through the brawling cadets to where Nifa was poised, ready to defend Y/N.

“Commander, what are you doing?” Nifa asked, her blades not lowering an inch as the beta challenged the intentions of her leader.

Erwin set his hand on Nifa’s blades, pushing them down. “Y/N is my Omega.” He stated, his voice raising above the sounds of fighting.

Nifa looked down at Y/N, her whining had increased at Erwin’s words, her hand stretched out to reach for him pleadingly. She sighed, relieved and lowered her blades fully, stepping aside and letting him closer.

“Thank you, Nifa.” Erwin said as he reached down and scooped Y/N up into his arms and pushed his way back through the crowd, giving hot glares to anyone that got to close to her.

Her smell up close was driving him crazy. The throbbing of his cock pushed against the back of his zipper as he tried to get them inside as quickly as possible. Y/N whined, the pain and heat pooling in her making her shift uncomfortably in his arms. She needed more, she need him right then.

Levi stuck his head outside the door where the rest of the officers were waiting for Erwin. He had smelled her coming and was curious to see exactly who it was. He gave a smirk at the sight of Erwin carrying Y/N down the hall, the tall blonde’s eyes shot with lust and need as he didn’t pause for a moment as he strode by him.

“I’ll cancel the meeting. Enjoy yourself, Eyebrows!” Levi called, amusement lacing his voice as he turned back and closed the door.

Erwin didn’t even acknowledge him, too busy focusing on getting Y/N back to the safety of his quarters and being able to take her. His body hummed with need, all those times he had ignored their bodies calling to one another turning against him as he made his way to his rooms.

Y/N felt like tearing her skin off. She hated the clothes touching her skin, keeping Erwin’s hands from touching her. She wanted his body covering hers, skin to skin contact over every inch they could possibly manage. She shook as she thought of him touching her intimately, filling her and driving the pain away that was wracking her body.

He didn’t hesitate when he got her back to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him before rushing over to his bed and setting her down. His hands were impatient as he ripped her shirt open, heedless of the buttons that popped and flew across the room.

“Y/N. You want me to be your Alpha? I need to you say it.” Erwin said as he started stripping himself. As badly as their bodies were calling for one another, he wouldn’t take her by force, he needed it to be her choice.

“Erwin...please. Help me.” Y/N groaned as she writhed on his bed, her hands shaking as she tried to undo the straps on her gear.

His control snapped at her words. He took a small knife from the sheath in his boot and flipped it in his fingers before slicing through the leather straps of her harness. He tugged off her boots before stripping her pants and panties off with a quick movement and groaned as he looked down at her.

Her thighs were slick with desire, glistening under the light of the day. Her scent overwhelming as she was exposed. He didn’t think he could get any harder, but the sight of her spread out and needing him made him ache.

His own clothing melted away as he stood over her, taking heavy breaths to calm himself down before he pounced on her like an animal. He crawled up on the bed, his eyes raking over her as she reached for him.

“Fuck.” He whispered, feeling the heat radiating from her. A finger trailed up her thigh, making her moan as he came into contact with her slick folds.

She was already ready for him, needed him to quell the desire inside her. Needed him to bond with her and work her through her heat. “Please....Erwin....now.”

He couldn’t deny her if he wanted to. The pull of her desire overriding any sense of self. Erwin spread her thighs beneath him and surged forward and sheathed himself in her tight body in one swift thrust.

Her cry of satisfaction filled his ears as he felt the electric tingling of their bond rush over him. Her body arched up against him, her legs coming around to lock around his hips to get her as close as possible to him.

He couldn’t remember why he tried to stay away from her, the sense of being so perfect and right flooding his mind. He shuddered as he felt himself being squeezed by her walls, drawing him in deeper.

It was only a minute before he started moving. Her hands clawing at his back with each thrust into her, her moans driving him crazy as she urged him on. He drove himself into her again and again, he’s main goal to satisfy and ease Y/N’s pain.

She was loving him inside her. Every time his cock filled her, the heat in her core diminishing as her body accepted her Alpha. The need inside her being fulfilled. The stretch of her walls perfect as his body joined with her.

Y/N felt the coil of nerves build up inside of her. It was pathetic how easily she was building up to an orgasm. She had thought it would be harder, her first heat coming much later than normal.

Erwin grunted as she tightened around him again. He could feel her tensing under him, knew that she was close. The first time they orgasmed together would complete their bond and seal them as mates. He flexed his hips, pushing harder into her, eager to make her come.

Her hands drifted down his strong and sculpted back, reaching his ass and digging her fingers into his flesh as her breathing quickened. Her thighs tensed around him, as her body bowed up tightly.

Her wail of pleasure intensified his own pleasure. His hips snapped into her as he felt her heat rush around him, the slickness of her release coating him and making him pulse in the desire to reach his own end.

She shattered around him while he continuously pumped himself into her, working her through it to the point where he felt her relax underneath him, her body exhausted by the force of her orgasm. Then he let himself go, closing his eyes as he thrusted deep one last time and shuddered as he felt himself filling her, their bond completing and strengthening as he gasped though his own end.

Erwin didn’t pull away from her, instead rolling them over so she could sprawl on top of his body. His breathing slowing down as he ran his fingers up and down her spine slowly, enjoying the fact they were still connected intimately. He had no intentions of leaving this room while she was in her heat. A cadet could bring them their meals, but he wasn’t leaving his omega for a moment while she needed him. He had finally given in to what they both needed and he wouldn’t let her down.

Mobile MasterList

#snk x reader #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #commander erwin #erwin x reader #commander erwin smith #erwin fanfictions #commander erwin fanfiction

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midnightactual · 3 years

Text

@mysteriousshopkeeper submitted:

“Yoruichi-san! I’m glad I caught you. I… thought you might be on a beach somewhere by now, since you just hosted a significant holiday party. In any case…” His fingers were idly tapping on something clasped between them as a subtle change came over his demeanor, like curtains being drawn open. “There are some… things I’ve been meaning to say. And considering my track record… I thought it best to let someone else say them.” His hands moved forward, and before she could object, he’d captured one of hers and pressed his gift into it.

Once she’d unwrapped it, she’d find herself holding a vintage, authentic Sony Walkman WM-D6C, in perfect working order, pre-loaded with a cassette – not just any commercial label, no, no – but a genuine, bona fide, old-fashioned mixtape. He’d invested considerable time and effort in selecting songs that suited his sentiments, first building a playlist on Spotify. He hadn’t even known all of them before he started searching, but he certainly did know them when he heard them. A tentative smile encroached on his lips. “At first it didn’t have tangible form, but as you can imagine, it proved difficult to wrap, so… I made this.”

The exercise had presented him with a delicate balance to maintain. His relationship with Yoruichi was… complicated. Lately, he’d come to the reluctant realization that what he’d been giving her was not what she needed from him, at least not here, not now. But disillusionment had proven a sticky, time-consuming process. Would-have-beens and could-yet-bes clung like lint to an old sweater; every time he looked, he found more, and some were nearly indistinguishable from the knit. He’d begun the process at the outset of what had become an unexpectedly eventful couple of weeks, but it had been time well-spent; the effort had had a clarifying — and surprisingly calming — effect. Each day was a process of refining and crafting, loosely following a rubric laid out in a movie he’d seen once. As a finishing touch, he’d even added liner notes, just to arrange specific lyrics into a unified narrative. The result was a musical, emotional journey that moved through a spectrum of humor, introspection and encouragement.

Because there was still, at the base of it all, that deep and abiding foundation of their friendship. The pedestals and shrines he’d erected in her honor weren’t serving either of them; it was time for a little iconoclasm, a little restructuring. Perhaps they could begin afresh and he would, again, be dependably her friend. He was aware that this playlist may not reflect her musical tastes, but it wasn’t so much about winning her heart as revealing his —she’d long deserved that much from him. Besides — at this point, what had he to lose? He’d quit castles in the sky for solid ground.

“Happy birthday, Yoruichi.” His face met hers with a soft, bright smile. “If you go, you’ll have something to take with you. And if my company would be welcome…” And here, the smile grew a bit dubious. “—I’d offer to go with you. I’d even make the arrangements; I could use a change of scene myself. You’d get good massages given on good behavior, with no lip service—” He smirked grimly, realizing how difficult it was for him to suggest without selling. “That is to say, I’d enjoy giving them. Quietly. But should you choose to stay, and celebrate your birthday here with us this year, I wouldn’t min—" Again, he caught himself; his face clouded for an instant, then cleared, transparent and a bit wistful, as he half-turned to make his graceful exit. “Rather, I would very much like that.”

Liner Notes

Listen on Spotify!

We Go Together / David Tennant & Catherine Tate - Lyrics We go together like the news and the weather / We fit like hand in glove! It’s All Been Done / Barenaked Ladies - Lyrics And if I put my fingers here, and if I say / “I love you, dear” / And if I play the same three chords, / Will you just yawn and say ‘I’m bored’ / It’s all been done Partners in Crime / Arkarna - Lyrics As I feel, we are, we must go on, I will stand, with you, forever / Ever more / But without you it’s a bore, It’s no fun breaking the law / Anymore, anymore, my partner in crime True Colors / Justin Timberlake & Anna Kendrick - Lyrics Show me a smile then / Don’t be unhappy, can’t remember / When I last saw you laughing / If this world makes you crazy / And you’ve taken all you can bear / You call me up / Because you know I’ll be there Paradise Valley / Honey and the Sting - Lyrics Take what you want from me / I bring it willingly / The paradise valley Got Your Back / Mike Taylor - Lyrics If you need a friend to party - I got your back / If you wanna get naughty - I got your back / Just tell me where to hide the body - I got your back

Somewhere Only We Know / Keane - Lyrics And if you have a minute why don’t we go / Talk about it somewhere only we know? / This could be the end of everything / So why don’t we go / Somewhere only we know? We Belong / Pat Benatar - Lyrics We belong to the light / We belong to the thunder / We belong to the sound of the words / We’ve both fallen under / Whatever we deny or embrace / For worse or for better / We belong, we belong / We belong together

I Won’t Give Up / Jason Mraz - Lyrics And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend / For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn / We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in / I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not / And who I am Clear the Area / Imogen Heap - Lyrics You find your way back down. / And I’ll keep the area clear…please clear the area. / When you find your way back down…in one piece / Then I’ll just be waiting here…right here. / Slowly…darling…nobody means any more to me than you. Fortress Around Your Heart / Sting - Lyrics And if I’ve built this fortress around your heart / Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire / Then let me build a bridge / For I cannot fill the chasm / And let me set the battlements on fire

Undercover / Pete Yorn - Lyrics And we held and we tried / There was hardly lust between us / I will love you / I won’t let go / ‘Cause we are one inside these walls / Undercover

Black Heart Inertia / Incubus - Lyrics You’re a mountain that I’d like to climb / Not to conquer, but to share in the view / You’re a bonfire and I’m gathered ‘round you / Set this old black heart inertia aflame Invincible / Muse - Lyrics ‘Cause there’s no one like you in the universe / Don’t be afraid / What your mind conceives / You should make a stand / Stand up for what you believe / And tonight / We can truly say / Together we’re invincible

Yoruichi was actually a bit surprised when her hand was taken and the classic piece of audio kit was pressed into it, not having expected such a forward approach. For want of any other recourse—it was her birthday, and it was a gift, apparently given very sincerely considering his affect… what else could she do but take it?—she willingly grasped the Walkman and heard him out.

She was in for another surprise at how little he had to say, comparatively. Sure, some of the usual banter and salesmanship eventually filtered in, but the facade was cracked and the underlying sincerity streamed through the act like sunlight through mist, burning it off right before her very eyes. It was striking, and she stared at the spectacle of it, growing increasingly uncertain.

And then, just like that he… left? She was sufficiently taken aback by what he’d said—and how he’d said it—that she hadn’t yet had time to formulate a reply when he was turning and departing. Her mouth opened, but no sounds came out of it, and by the time she thought of something to say—even just, ‘Wait’—he was gone.

She stared after him for long seconds before shutting her mouth and looking at the Walkman that’d been handed to her. She considered it for several moments more before going to a closet drawer. She already owned a pair of vintage Walkman headphones with orange foam earpieces; they seemed the most appropriate thing to use to listen, and listening seemed to be the only thing to do.

Considering both components, she put the headset on, plugged it in, and clicked play. There was a delightfully mechanistic moment as the button sank in, giving that chunky, electromechanical experience you simply couldn’t get with fully digital electronics. It made her nostalgic as the first song began, and she listened, at first just standing where she was. The first song was a bit cornball, and she wondered if the whole mixtape would be that way, eventually sitting on the edge of her bed. But by the third song she was up and pacing about as she listened, a pit growing in her stomach.

By the seventh, she had retreated from her bedroom entirely, going to her bathroom almost on autopilot. Some part of her knew it was even farther away from scrutiny—harder to reach, harder to be heard from, even if her rooms and the building itself were very well soundproofed. Some other part of her felt almost ill. And then there were her eyes.

Crying had never been acceptable. That had been made abundantly clear to her from the very beginning. She didn’t cry. She hadn’t since she’d been a toddler. She’d watched her kōhai have a breakdown without crying. She’d torn off her own arm without crying. She’d cradled her little brother after he’d been shot through the heart three times without crying. As she leaned on the wall beside the tub, she almost didn’t recognize the pressure around her eyes. Her motions were automatic, and she clambered into the dry basin while she fought to keep herself under control. Things started getting blurry as a titanic clash raged within her.

Yet the music kept going, and she refused to stop it. Trembling with held in sounds, she finally punched the stone tiles before her. The strike wasn’t very hard by her standards, although it pushed her gigai—but it wasn’t enough to even chip the rock. Her arm stayed extended and she ground her knuckles into the rough surface, before retracting and striking again. And again. And again and again and again, until the stone was smeared with her blood and her hand throbbed and ached in protest.

The pain wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to compete with what was already filling her, and she gasped as it became overwhelming, hot tears spilling down her cheeks as she lost and it became entirely impossible to see. Her sobs were silent at first, wracking her whole body, before she smacked the bottoms of both fists against the wall, leaning forward to put her forehead on it as she finally let out a noise, something between a growl and a low wail.

She beat against that wall ineffectually, clenching her jaw as she still tried to keep it all in, trying to refuse this, but it was no use. ‘Volatile’ was wholly inadequate to describe the mixture of emotions flowing through her—it was a hypergolic cocktail that was already ablaze and demanded venting. And so, finally, she tipped her head back and screamed. Agony. Frustration. Despair. Self-loathing. Rage. Sorrow. Regret. It had all built and built, not just lately but for far, far longer, and she had no choice but to let out all the fruits of her failures at once now, like some kind of ravening nuclear death beam rendered in sound.

What her reiatsu did in response, she had no idea and no care to know. Presumably the gigai kicked in to contain it, but she was caught up in the maelstrom, a billion light years away from such concerns. She cried out and pounded at the wall until there was nothing left, until she was hoarse, until she was empty, until she was panting from the intensity of the chemicals unleashed, until her tears carried away enough of their torrent that she could breathe.

Spent and dazed, she slumped back, then outright toppled back against an edge of the tub, sinking down and shivering. Still, the music played, and it drew her back to the moment. She could think of doing nothing but flopping onto one side and curling up in a fetal position, desperately hugging herself and simply trying to be small, wishing to just disappear entirely. She stayed that way for a long time.

#In Character #Long Post #Music #submission #mysteriousshopkeeper #Identifier: MERCURY GREEN #Verse: BLEACH MAIN #Era: IMPERIAL

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rankdisasster · 5 years

Text

whipped

Billy Hargrove x fem reader

“can you do something with billy where like she has to babysit the party but it’s also date night so she drags billy with her and they all pile up on the couch to watch a movie either scary or romantic and everyone is shocked how gentle and caring billy is because they’re used to see him in a scary way thank youuu” requested by @allabouthargrove

word count: 3,554

warning(s): swearing

a/n: I loved this idea! thank you for letting me write it, and I will sorta admit I got a teensy bit carried away? c’mon tho we need Billy bickering with the kids, that would’ve been so adorable to see. had trouble since there’s so many characters, I chose to have just 4 out of all of the kids to be there since writing that many characters was a little daunting to me. enjoy:)

—

“Babe, I’m just saying that they’re old enough to fuck off and do whatever they want while their folks are gone. When we were their age we never had a sitter that read fuckin’ bedtime stories and cuddled us all night,” Billy reasons, grumbling as he rips apart the third bag of popcorn he’s made so far for tonight’s movie night with the kids. He shoves the movie snack in the microwave and slams it, huffing more complaints under his breath about hating the children for not allowing him his one-on-one time with his girlfriend.

You’ve of course noticed by now this far in the relationship you’ve shared with Billy how high his temper can elevate to. Maybe it’s directed to someone else, such as his dad (whom infuriates him the most, and rightfully so). However, his anger has never taken a tole on you. Ever. Maybe there’s a sprinkle of a disagreement between the two of you here and there, but he’s proven himself more than worthy of your trust. Thick and thin, he has been outstanding at comforting you and never lashing out at you if he had a hard day.

With that being said, his relationship with the kids is a different story.

Billy blatantly shows his disapproval and not to mention distaste for Dustin and Lucas in particular, whom have shown interest in his little sister. Nothing’s escalated to a full on fight before, he’s never stooped that low to throw hands on a kid. Although Billy vows to protect what’s his and he knows what goes through their heads, given that he was once their age and in awe of girls. So you could imagine the internal battle the teen is going to be fighting, having to sit pretty and stay calm for the sake of his girlfriend. Yes, he could have just skipped the ordeal entirely, maybe reschedule their date for when things could be a little more private. But when you offered that he could still come over while you babysit, with your goddamn puppy eyes and gentle pleas of desperation, fuck him if he can’t say no, alright?

Billy promised to be on his best behavior, but his patience has already worn thin and none of the kids have even arrived yet.

You sigh before sauntering over to where he stands, idly watching the transformation of the popping corn in the microwave with his hands on his hips. Turning his chin so that he meets your eyes, knowing that eye contact always seems to force him to snap out of it, you speak lowly in his ear.

“Listen, I get that they’re not your favorite to hang out with, but I promised you a little something if you play nice, didn’t I?” you pet his dirty blonde curls, another tactic for persuading Billy that you’ve learned. His pout fades a little, and he turns away before muttering a moody “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Hey, look at me. Billy,” you request, turning his head gently once more. His blue eyes meet yours.

“Things’ll be just fine. You’ll do great, I know it. Because I didn’t fall in love with an asshole, I fell in love with you.”

How the fuck is Billy supposed to argue that?

—

All at once, the kids come as promised at seven, riding their bikes to your garage. It’s Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Will that have been put under your wing for the night. Max has been on vacation to visit her side of the family, and El is spending her night watching Miami Vice with her dad. Steve wasn’t available either, working tonight at Family Video, which makes the perfect coincidence that you and Billy were to watch them together.

Dustin and Lucas were equally weary about Billy’s attendance at your movie night, shakey and worrisome about getting into it with your boyfriend. Will, however, could really care less. Billy never had any beef with him, probably because he never tried hitting on his sister.

“I’m just saying, Lucas, it would’ve been a good idea if we brought protection! We know he won’t hesitate to fucking murder us, so we need to be prepared!” Dustin whisper-shouts, his anxiety clouding his proper judgement. Lucas rolls his eyes and pushed the curly haired boy’s shoulder, knowing how ridiculous and sensitive he can get. Yes, Billy scares him shitless too, but he has faith in Y/N to tame the wild beast.

“You guys are idiots. God, Dustin, just shut up already. He would’ve killed us a long time ago if he planned on it, he’s had like a hundred chances already,” Mike complains, thinking that that’s somehow going to serve as reassurance to his friends. Dustin’s eyes grew impossibly wider than they already were, and Lucas curses under his breath before the door is ripped open in front of them.

Billy is the one to greet them at the door, chest puffed out as he eyes the shorter boys. He then leans on the side of the door, mocking them with one hand on a hip and a smirk playing his face.

“Well well well,” the older boy says. Without turning around and breaking eye contact with any of the middle schoolers, he shouts to get your attention. “Babe! Your Goonies are here!”

From inside the house in the living room, you squat in front of the television as you continue attempting to set up the film you chose.

“Yeah? And are you gonna let them in?” you ask, already smelling his alpha male behavior from a mile away. Billy reluctantly gives in, knowing he couldn’t deny you of anything you want, and opens the door wider to let the dorky dwarfs in. One at a time, they all rush to get inside, with a quiet Will being let in first by Billy, then come Mike second, and Lucas third. Dustin swallows audibly and keeps his eyes glued to his shoes as to not give the older boy any reason for trouble, and nearly loses it when he’s stopped by a hand on his chest.

“It wasn’t me, I swear! It was all Lucas’s idea, he was the one who was gonna hit on M—“ Dustin is quick to throw Lucas under the bus to save his own ass, and Billy would be lying if he said it didn’t make him wanna laugh for days. Of course this one kid in particular is the narc of the bunch. Makes sense.

“You agreed that you’d be civil, Billy! Ten seconds, you lasted not ten seconds!” you scold him as you march over to the door, livid enough to scare Billy back to being nice again. Without any further stalling, Billy looks down in what the kids see as shame, which they didn’t think he was even capable of feeling, then allows the ballcap wearing kid inside. Like a completely different person than he was not even five seconds ago, has he been fucking possessed, he walks over to where you stand and look knowingly at him. With a kiss on the cheek, and a whisper that none of the younger ones are able to hear, you’re back to normal and Billy is unusually quiet.

All the boys watch the show, seeing him go from alpha dog to obedient puppy instantaneously. Dustin mouthed ’what the fuck was that’ to Mike, baffled by the affect you had on the malicious blonde.

Mike rolls his eyes as he takes off his coat before muttering, “Love makes people crazy. And weird. But mostly crazy.”

—

“Billy was oh so very kind enough to make all you guys popcorn for the movie we’re watching tonight,” you squeeze Billy’s hip when you refer to him before he yelps and blushes. All the kids have no fucking idea how this monster has transformed, blushing because a girl touched him.

“Uh, thanks,” Dustin awkwardly reaches for one of the bowls of popcorn, hasty when he takes a piece and puts it in his mouth, trying to play detective to see if Billy put something in it.

When you and Billy walk to the kitchen he starts a dramatic coughing fit and lets out a string of curses, spitting it out then warns Lucas that he thinks it was poisoned.

“Everything okay out there?” You check in after hearing odd commotion, pulling away from the kisses that Billy was sprinkling all over your neck.

“Yeah, Dustin just choked on a kernel. He’ll be just fine, won’t you, Dusty?” Lucas harshly pats the boy’s back in an effort to cover up his stupidity as an accident. Will shakes his head at his dumb friends, but offers to eat it if he doesn’t want it.

“Hey Y/N, when are we starting the movie? We didn’t come here to sit and wait around, you know!” Mike calls out, all four of them going to the kitchen to see what the hold up was before peeking at quite a sight. It was you sitting on the kitchen counter, Billy between your legs, exchanging kisses and whispers of promises for what’s to come later as he softly combs his fingers through your hair keeping it out of your face. All four of their jaws dropped at the nauseating poster of pure tenderness being displayed in front of their eyes. The other hand that wasn’t in your hair was rubbing your waist, and it didn’t even look that sexual, instead looking just so goddamn loveable that it nearly made them all simultaneously hurl.

“I’ll — We’ll be out there in a minute, guys,” you stutter and laugh when Billy makes a face then traces a sweet line down your jaw with his thumb. “We’re making more popcorn!”

“Okay, no they’re not. That’s not what making popcorn looks like,” Dustin shakes his head and fakes a gagging sound.

“No shit, doofus. Who the hell would ever think Hill-Billy Hargrove could ever be that in love with someone who’s not himself,” Mike mumbles, before wordlessly throwing a pillow that lands directly at Dustin’s face.

When you and Billy finally emerge from the kitchen after whatever gross activities that high schoolers do, nothing but bickering is to be heard. You surrender with a shrug and an empty apology before pressing play on the film.

“So what is it that we’re watching, exactly?”

“Nightmare on Elm Street,” Billy answers the curly haired boy, not taking his eyes off the screen or his hands off Y/N. You two have somewhat of an unspoken language, communicating with nods and gestures that none of the middle schoolers can wrap their heads around. You’d nod your head to the bowl if you’d like to be fed a piece of popcorn, and without any protests on his end, your boyfriend feeds it right to you and then grabs a handful for himself. Mike wants to throw up, Dustin wants to die because of the horrible movie choice, and Will simply sits tight and kicks back his feet, somewhat enjoying himself.

“Uh, who the hell picked this garbage for us to watch?” Dustin asks, shoving his toothless mouth full of the buttery snack.

“The lady gets to pick whatever we do and whatever we watch, because she was sweet enough to even let you come over in the first place,” Billy spits, before earning a certain look from you that says ’you know better’ making him shut his trap. He nestles his face into your neck as a sheepish way to say he’s sorry, that he’ll try better before you get excited when asking him for another one of his heavenly massages. Billy is the number one champion at getting all the knots that sit in your shoulders and your neck out, and he never complains about doing the job either. He loves pleasing you. Turning to the side to give him a better angle at your back, he gets right to work and even puts his elbow into the mix. He always loves the soft sounds you let out from how pleasant the sensations are.

“Mm, you like it here? Want me to go up higher?”

“No no, it’s perfect right there. Wait, little lower. And harder. Yeah, that’s it,” you guide him and he follows your directions flawlessly, ignoring the glares from the dwarfs that have to sit and listen to this shit.

“Should’ve brought those barf bags that they use on planes,” Mike grumbles, turning his head back to the television where Johnny Depp is talking on the phone in a crop top. Freddie Krueger has yet to fuck shit up and kill people, but Dustin still covers his eyes and hides in Lucas’s shoulder.

Halfway through the movie, after Billy had given up massaging you given the cramp that started up in his hands, he gets bored. So bored, in fact, that fucking with the kids sounds like the perfect entertainment for right now. His girl is still nestled under his arm, and he’s sure as shit proud that you barely even flinched while watching Freddie slit numerous bodies open, cheap scare after cheap scare. And then the perfect idea comes to him.

“You know, I actually read somewhere that this movie’s based on a true story.”

Dustin snaps his head to the teenage blonde and gasps aloud, hiding further into the blankets. You on the other hand laugh at the absurdity and his attempt at scaring the kids, but allowing him to continue. It’s the first time he’s actually spoken to them without making a threat or ridiculing the boys anyway.

“You’re shitting me.”

Billy shakes his head, somehow in some way keeping a straight face as he stirs up even more complete utter bullshit. “Nope. They say that there really was a guy in a fedora that would come to you in your dreams, and if he killed you in your sleep, you’d die for real.”

The kids begin to outrage.

“Alright, that’s just—“

“Nuh-uh, no way, man. I’m never getting a second of sleep ever again!”

“Now WAIT a second, that can’t possibly be possible!”

And that’s where you draw the line, deciding they’ve had enough. “Okay, guys, GUYS! He was joking. That was his attempt at a joke,” you silence the chaos, while Billy sits there with a shit eating grin at the gasoline he poured into the fire. He could rile them up without even lifting a finger, and he was happy about that.

“You’re a goddamn demon! Jesus!” Dustin roars, pointing a finger at Billy as he sits and stares, not intimidated by the Little Red Riding Hoods that threaten him.

“Demon Jesus? Never heard of that one,” he smirks, getting up and throwing a blanket over the kid’s face. Dustin scrambles to shove it off him, annoyed at how Billy is Mister Nice Guy to Y/N but a fucking asshole to everybody else entirely.

“Shut up you guys, I wanna finish the movie already,” Will objects, trying to turn the sound up on the television to tune out the dispute. After the whole house finally seems to settle down and finish it up, you end up asleep and cuddled into Billy’s entire side as he pets your arm as to soothe you even though you’re not even awake, Will’s knocked out on the floor, same goes for Dustin and Lucas. The only ones left that haven’t yawned once are Billy and Mike.

It’s somewhat awkward when the credits begin to roll, giving the two boys no more room for something to do as they uncomfortably lay in silence. Mike almost wants to pretend to be asleep just to ditch any attempt at conversation Billy may potentially try, but it’s too late when they accidently make eye contact.

“Um, I’m gonna tuck her in to her bed real quick,” Billy whispers, holding up a finger to his lips to make Mike stay quiet. The younger boy nods in understanding, and then Billy carefully gets up from the couch and grabs you bridal style before carrying you to your room. When he comes back, Mike is still staring at the ceiling, thinking loud enough for Billy to want to say something to the kid.

“I was just messin’ with you kids, uh, about the movie being real and all. I didn’t know it’d piss all you off that much,” he scratches the back of his neck. Mike nods again, assuring him it didn’t freak him out nearly as much as it did his other two dweeb friends.

“Um, would it be cool if I asked you something?” the younger boy whispers after he gets up to join Billy in the kitchen, thankfully more private and away from all the sleeping figures in the living room. Billy stays standing but nods at the chair, signaling Mike to sit. He complies before awaiting an answer.

“Depends on what you ask.”

“Um, you seem really good at like, how to treat a girl. You’re usually terrifying but tonight I witnessed you hand feeding Y/N and giving her a massage for like an hour, not to mention the kissing and other gross stuff, but I just don’t get it,” he finishes, not knowing if he worded any of that right. And also worrying about getting punched for even asking.

“What don’t you understand?” Billy furrows his brows, unaware of what he was being asked here. “I love her and respect her. Which is what you’re supposed to do,” he answers, opening the fridge to grab a beverage. He looks back at Mike, then back to the fridge, then wordlessly snatches a Caprisun and throws it at Mike who barely catches it in time.

“No! No I know but I just—“

“Shh,” the older boy scolds, whispering for Mike to keep his voice down. He shakes his head then beckons the boy to come out back with him. Mike, somewhat frightened and confused, follows his lead not knowing where this conversation is leading. Billy takes a seat on the lawn chair before pulling a pack out of his back pocket, taking a stick out and putting it between his lips.

“Wanna elaborate then, please?” he scoffs with the cigarette in his lips, searching every pocket and even the outside table for a lighter. Mike stands stiffly as he fumbles to do as he was asked.

“I wanna know how you did it, y’know, got all that ‘feelings’ stuff down and then get to the good stuff,” Mike stumbles.

Billy, having found a lighter, pauses as he burns the top of his cigarette then takes a puff before letting out a laugh of disbelief.

“You’re comin’ to me for advice on how to get with my own goddamn sister.” Billy concludes. “Well, I’ll have you know that if you or any of you twerps lay a fucking finger on her I’ll—“

“Woah woah woah, no. That’s not what I want, okay! Your sister is annoying and gross,” Mike defends himself, even holding his hands up in some sort of pussy way to protect himself.

Billy pulls another face, huffing smoke out his nose akin to a dragon before getting even angrier.

“Don’t you dare call her that either, motherfucker!”

“So you don’t want me liking her or hating her. Makes perfect sense,” Mike gives him attitude, seemingly forgetting who he’s talking to.

“Hey, shitbird. I don’t want any of you piss-for-brains even near Maxine, but if you’re not talking about her, who the hell are you talking about?” Billy wonders, finding himself actually curious for once about middle school gossip.

“Wait, it’s not that little girl named after a number, is it?”

Mike’s avoidance serves as a confirmation.

Billy chuckles as he blows out more smoke, then even offers the middle schooler a hit, raiding his brows. He knows how bad the girl trouble gets, especially at that age when you have no idea what’s going on and why girls are hot and make you nervous all the sudden.

Mike’s face scrunches up in disgust.

“Dude, Y/N would kill you if she saw you offering me that.”

“That’s... yeah, you’re right. Pretend nothing happened,” Billy agreed.

“Okay. So were you just planning on making fun of me and then suggesting I smoke, or—“

Billy puts his hand up to silence him.

“Kid, I learned through bad experiences. But it takes the right girl that forgives and forgets when you fuck up. A special girl, not just the first one that walks by,” he explains, ashing the last of his spliff and putting a hand on Mike’s shoulder.

“Y/N did that? Forgive you and forget all the messed up shit you pulled?” he asks.

“Well, yeah. Only ‘cause she loves me. And she keeps me in line,” he fiddled with the ring on his middle finger as he speaks, still giddy and lovesick even after all this time he’s been with you. Mike doesn’t find it cute in the slightest, he snorts at it even, but takes his advice and keeps it at heart. He mutters ”whipped” on his way back inside, before gasping as a hand yanks on the back of his shirt, forcing him backward.

“Good luck with the girl, kid. But I’m holding you responsible for keeping your friends the fuck off my sister.”

—

had to put a dash of mileven in cause adorable, and when I pictured Billy offering the kids a smoke I laughed and knew it had to be written. hope this didn’t suck!

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #stranger things

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lostcauses-noregrets · 4 years

Note

Do you think that, during sex if Levi did something odd or a bit out of his normal character and then saw Erwin a bit confused, would he be so embarrassed that he would, not only leave right away, but also try to avoid Erwin for a while? There’re probably a lot of fic like that out there. Man have I fell down a eruri hole during this isolation. Anyways, I hope you are safe and having more fun than I am. Keep of being amazing.

Apologies for the delay in replying Anon. I hope you’re keeping safe and well and surviving these strange times. Please accept this shameless cliched fluff to help you pass the time in isolation.

Lostcauses Fic: In Other Words

“Please…” Erwin pleaded, head thrown back, fingers pressing bruises into Levi’s sweat slick thighs. “Please, Levi, harder.”

Levi needed no encouragement. The sight of his Commander, cheeks flushed, disheveled hair scattered across his brow, begging for release, undid the last tattered shreds of his self-control.

“Come on baby,” he urged, the endearment slipping past his lips unnoticed and unbidden, as he snapped his hips forward, harder, faster. “Come on, come for me.”

Erwin came with a long low moan, arching up off the bed, as Levi’s own orgasm tore through him, the sheer force of it obliterating everything but his overwhelming desire for the man beneath him.

They lay together in the aftermath, warm cum cooling between them, as Levi sprawled, barely conscious, across Erwin’s heaving chest.

“Fuck Erwin,” he slurred, struggling to catch his breath, “fucking love you.”

It was only when Erwin stilled beneath him that Levi realized what he’d said. The full force of it crashing over him in a cold wave of terror.

“Levi …” Erwin started, his voice so thick with emotion that it made something twist painfully in Levi’s chest.

“I should go,” Levi said, pushing himself off the bed before Erwin could continue, and scrambling into his clothes.

Propped up on one elbow, Erwin watched him from the bed.

“You could stay,” he said carefully.

“You know I can’t do that,” Levi spat, sparing a glance over his shoulder as he tied his cravat with an irritated flick. “People will talk.”

“Let them,” Erwin shrugged. “I don’t care.”

But Levi was already gone, slamming the door behind him. Erwin sighed, and collapsed back onto the bed, closing his eyes, as the stillness of the room congealed around him.

Sex for Levi had always been a perfunctory business. A basic, if inconvenient, human need to be satisfied like any other. It was rare for Levi to search out another warm body to satisfy the urge that ached in his bones, but on the infrequent occasions he did, a faceless fuck in an alleyway was enough to meet his needs. It was better that way. Quicker, simpler, no messy emotional attachments, no risk of affection, of feeling anything that could only lead to remorse and regret.

But that was before joining the Survey Corps. In spite, or perhaps because of, the precarity of their existence, the knowledge that their lives could be brutally snatched away at any moment, the Survey Corps’ surviving veterans formed deep bonds with their comrades.

“You’re fucking crazy, you know that right?” Levi groused at Mike one night. The older man was smiling fondly as he watched Nanaba weaving their way towards them through of the crowded bar, carrying two tankards of beer in either hand. “You could be Titan shit tomorrow.”

“Titans don’t shit, you know that.” Hange butted in, waggling a finger at him. Levi swatted them away, wrinkling his nose.

Mike just shrugged, smiling as Nanaba placed the drinks on the table in front of them. “All the more reason, to take it where you find it.”

And take it they did. All except the Commander, who was widely regarded as being above such things. A cold bastard, with a heart of stone. Only Levi knew differently.

He couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through him the first time he felt the Commander’s gaze fall on him. The heat and weight of it startled him and set his blood rushing. An entirely unfamiliar feeling, but not an unwelcome one.

He’d responded out of curiosity, to see if he could recapture that unexpected feeling, to find out if the Commander really was a man of flesh and blood under that implacable façade. He was. And oh what a man. Their first encounter devastated Levi, leaving him stunned and shaken, desperate for more.

To his surprise, Erwin turned out to be a fond and affectionate lover, a million miles from the austere, intimidating persona he presented to the world. Attentive to Levi’s every mood, he learned to pick him apart at the seams with such ruthless dexterity that it shook Levi to the core. But what shocked Levi even more was that Erwin gave himself with equal generosity, laying himself bare with appalling humility and unimaginable tenderness.

What started as a casual arrangement soon became a regular one, and though Levi could feel himself slipping, he was powerless to resist. An inexorable force was drawing them irresistibly together and Levi found, that for all his strength, he could no more stop it than he could stop the sun from rising and setting. Truth be told, Levi did not want to stop it. Erwin was the breath in his lungs, the strength in his sinews, the force that drove him forwards, the steadfast vision he followed. But more than that, Erwin was the embrace that circled him and held his broken pieces together, the heat that swelled in his chest filling the cold empty places inside him, the name he cried out breathless and gasping. Erwin, his commander, his liege, his lover.

Not that Levi would admit it, he shied away from the word, stubbornly refusing to face it, as if ignoring it would deny its truth. But now there it was, the appalling truth of it laid bare before them. Unwilling to face the consequences of this revelation, and unable to run, Levi went out of his way to avoid Erwin in the days and weeks that followed. He found endless excuses to skip meetings and briefings with the squad leaders in Erwin’s office, visited the officers’ mess only between meal times, earning the opprobrium of the cooks, and spent endless hours on the training grounds drilling the recruits until they dropped. He even sought sanctuary in Hange’s basement workrooms until they lost patience and turfed him out.

“You again?” Hange snapped when he turned up for the fourth afternoon in a row. “What the fuck is going on Levi? Whatever you and Erwin have fallen out about I wish you’d make it up, because I’m busy here and you’re getting under my feet.”

“What the fuck?” Levi started, but Hange was already shoving him unceremoniously out the door.

The stable block was his last refuge. Barring a familiar nod, the stable hands paid him little attention and any soldiers who happened to be present generally minded their own business and left Levi to his. Soothed by the soft stamp and whinny of the horses, and lulled by the familiar task of grooming his black mare, Levi was almost able to forget the hurt that lingered in Erwin’s eyes, to convince himself that the fateful slip of the tongue had simply never happened.

But it had. Nothing could take it back, and the longer Levi avoided Erwin, the more he was consumed by regret, shame, anger, and remorse.

“Levi.”

Levi looked up from where he was cleaning the mare’s fore hooves; absorbed in his task, he had barely noticed the stable hands closing up the stalls for the night, the soldiers returning to the barracks. The sun was starting to set, bathing the interior of the stable block in a soft rosy glow, empty now but for himself and the Commander.

“What do you want?” he snapped.

Erwin smiled ruefully and shook his head.

“You know I could reprimand you for speaking to your commanding officer like that?”

“So? Why don’t you?”

“Levi…” Erwin took a step forward, and Levi tried not to notice that way the soft light gilded his hair. “You must know that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here then?” Levi crossed his arms over his chest and stared defiantly at the Commander. The mare stamped and tossed her head, sensing his sudden change of mood. Erwin reached out a hand to calm her and she nuzzled into his palm.

“There’s no need for you to go to such lengths to avoid me Levi. You don’t need to keep running.”

“I’m not,” Levi started, “I haven’t…”

“I know.” Erwin said simply. “What you said…I’ve known for some time. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a gift, and I don’t know how I can ever repay you, but I promise that I…”

Suddenly Erwin stopped and blinked, peering at Levi in the low light.

“Oh,” he said softly. “You didn’t know? Until then, you didn’t know.”

The denial died on the tip of Levi’s tongue and he frowned and looked away.

“Levi,” Erwin stepped towards him. “It’s alright you know.”

“What’s all right?” Levi asked. He had a desperate urge to run but Erwin was close enough for him to smell his faint scent of ink and cologne and he yearned to close the gap between them, to lean his head against his chest, to loose himself in that familiar warmth.

“It’s alright to love.”

“You could be dead tomorrow,” Levi muttered, “or worse.” He still couldn’t bring himself to look Erwin in the face, afraid of what he might see there.

“I know, and so could you. That’s all the more reason to make the most of it don’t you think?”

It sounded so obvious, so easy.

“You sound like Mike.” Levi replied.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, he said something similar.”

“Well you know,” Erwin continued, “sometimes Mike’s worth listening to. He hasn’t survived this long without learning a thing or two.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was low, quiet. “It’s not the word that makes it true Levi, it’s everything else. And besides, there are other words.”

“What words?” Levi finally looked up to meet Erwin’s gaze, brimming with such hope, such desire, such belief, that it almost floored him.

“Captain.” Erwin reached out and brushed a lock of dark hair off Levi’s brow.

“Comrade.” A callused thumb swept lightly over the arch of his cheekbone.

“Right hand man.” Warm lips set a kiss on his forehead.

“That’s three words,” Levi murmured.

“Sorry.” The kisses moved to his cheek.

“Trusted companion.” Levi closed his eyes, leaning in to the kiss.

“Humanity’s Strongest.”

“Fuck off.” Levi snorted pushing Erwin away, but strong hands caught him, circling his waist, drawing him into the embrace.

“Wait there’s one more.”

“What’s that?” Levi tried his hardest to affect a skeptical scowl, but it was spoiled by the smile that was pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Friend.” Erwin breathed against his lips.

“Friend.” Levi agreed as he melted into the kiss.

(PS. You may also enjoy @ladymacbethsspot‘s beautiful fic on a smilier theme.)

#asks #lostcauses fic #eruri #erwin smith #levi ackerman #mike zacharias #nanaba #hanji zoe #snk

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