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#never cared lmao

I just realized I never watched ML’s season finale… I just forgot. Oh well it’s not like I just went through two seasons just so I could watch Chat Blanc and Felix and then never watch a ML episode ever again, right?

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I wish I actually cared but sometimes I just think I’m vibing with whatever at that point. The only constant in my life is that I care v much about people (even if sometimes I just… don’t have the energy to care). The rest? My will to live, my “dream job”, my ability to view my future, my worries about stability? All garbage, no longer exist. I am just thankful for the present moment. My past and future? Both don’t exist. I don’t remember anything about my past (like the “lines” of it, but it feels like I’m playing in a play, reading dialogues of another character). Stability in my life and in (no matter the kind) relationships? I couldn’t care less. I honestly, really couldn’t care less. I really really run out of energy after all these years fighting. Now I’m just a blank wall. Just throw whatever you want at me - if it’s bad, I’ll either bite back or I’ll completely give up. I don’t care. After being alone and lonely for so long, I don’t give a fucking damn. I probably do, but right now I don’t wanna think about everything that include.

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image

i don’t see sam as someone to take over as a parental figure for nathan. that’s never what their relationship was. while sam cares for him and makes sure he has what he needs, and attempts to give him everything he wants, there was never a moment of treating either of them like anything but older and younger brother. “the money i make is for the both of us,” specifically. he would often give nathan his own bit of money to do what he wished with, though it was nothing akin to an “allowance,” that’s just not how they worked. and while that money went to nathan, sam was still using his own for the necessities.

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Hey lmao so I’ve had a few people in my messages reach out to me about an account that has a similar username to mine (@harrstylesgotmefuckedup). I am aware this account exists and in the past, whenever I’ve been tagged in something by mistake, I always redirect them to that account. The reason I changed my username a few years ago, is because back in the day (around 2010-2012 ish?) I used to write stories and have a different username relating to that. When I stopped writing and wanted a fresh start, I changed the username. When I tried, I could see the one I wanted was already being used so I simply changed fucked-to fuckt. I genuinely didn’t think it would be a big deal, and again, in the past I’ve always redirected people to the correct account. The one time I don’t lmao… I should’ve made sure they meant to tag me and not this other account and I didn’t. My bad. I do not care for this whatsoever, I’m genuinely too old for this shit 😂 so I’d be more than happy to change my username. It really isn’t a big deal to me.

But anyway these few messages I got are completely unnecessary and I never wanted any of this, so to say, drama. So yeah; I’ll be changing my username and I genuinely apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused lol. This was years ago and it never was an issue till now and like I said, I didn’t give it much thought. So yeah that’s it. Later ✌🏼

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thinking about it now i wonder how many of my followers have me muted LMAO LIKE i reblog a lot 👀👀 like i’m basically on here all through out the day and night sksnsjsb just thriving ya know ✨🙈 but just this once y’all should take me seriously 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 i’m not upset i’d just think it would be nice if you checked out some of my recs😌😌 they do be hitting different doe 😗👉🏼👈🏼 and if they don’t— that’s on me

anyways check out these tags babes!!!

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Why am I depressed today? I will never be beautiful because I’ll never have enough money that I could use for surgeries instead of rent, rainy day fund, house fund, etc., etc., etc. I don’t give a fuck if other people find me attractive, I just want to be able to look into the mirror and like myself. And look good always, not just in low light or from a distance or a very specific angle for about four seconds. I want to afford doctors and treatments that would fix my skin or at least improve it, and I want a normal sized nose, and to stop eating so fucking much. I want to stay in bed for three days without the constant noise and yelling and mess that my family makes, I want to go home and go away where no one will look at me.

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