#no more food at all

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[buggachat]

does anyone else form their headcanons of marinette and adrien largely on the basis of "they have to be opposite each other"? like, creation and destruction, yin and yang, etc. like Marinette being late all the time and sleeping through her alarms? so she's probably a deep sleeper? So that means, by the laws of my lovesquare headcanons according to my brain, Adrien has to be a light sleeper. Marinette is a chaotic creative person and I can imagine her just having so much STUFF all around and living in organized chaos. so therefore Adrien likes his spaces neat and clear. (also something something creation and clutter vs destruction and emptiness) you know??? ???? ? adrien and marinette headcanons just cant be independent of each other in my brain. they are always intrinsically linked

#not to say they have to have opposite Opinions or Values or anything. just. personality traits and quirks #the more meaningless the headcanon the mroe they have to be opposite in me brain #adrien is a morning person so marinette is not. adrien picks at his food when stressed so marinette stress eats. #adrien drinks his coffee sweet in my brain so therefore marinette drinks hers unsweetened. this is the law #marinette tosses and turns at night so adrien sleeps stiff as a board #YOU KNOW!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? not necessarily having all the same headcanons as me but the gist of being opposites

[soarrenbluejay]

Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.

The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.

Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!

Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!

See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!

So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!

She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.

(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)

This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.

Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.

Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.

So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.

The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!

The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #mad science #supervillain community #bonus points if you can pull out some super niche comic villain #justice for kite man #local child of a crazy chemist: so you know that trick you showed me with the soda and the reaction that could turn into just like all foam #Danny: yeah and also back the fuck up #lcoacc: so it’s been like my comfort food right but like I started wondering what you could do #danny: oh no (he says while making what amounts of an overachieving smoke bomb) #lcoacc: so I was like what if I add more of a base to it so it could be solid and then maybe just like a LIL acid to see what happens #Danny: oh ancients #lcoacc: but then the killjoy supes came in a ruined everything from where I was ruining lex Luther’s day #Danny:… did you get in on camera #lcoacc: OF COURSE. oh also like everyone ever if coming over for a sleepover lol #Danny: WHAT I CANT FEED YOU MONSTERS #lcoacc: no worrries we’ll rob a bulk store or something lol #Danny: nO

[arandomcat1717]

“Side” project? 🤨

#splatoon 3 #splatoon #side order #marina ida #pearl houzuki #idk this could be a throwaway line but with side order so close…. #Also more food for the “Marina is behind all this” theory

[ryllen]

do u know that even the size of the different size of vegetables at another country amazed me because from where i came from they are all smaller and scrawnier

#to remind u guys if u're thinking about something naughty stop right there; the different size of the food served is also surprising #twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #ace trappola #deuce spade #twst yuu #twst mc #fanart #do westerners go to asian country feels like they are served dwarf's portion #because as an asian; it always feel like we are served giant's portion; not exaggerating bcs we can never finish it #understandable because westerners can grow so tall so they must need more energy to burn #it's like if we order food; we asians always have to have a tupperware to take leftover home #but the price of the food in all the food places is so expensive it's reasonable the portion is big #i might ignite if paying so much we only get rabbit portion #anyhow i am just thinking of this because of the briar valley's big horse post #i do love to think everything is bigger in briar valley #the trees are all so lushfull and majestic like they all have lived a thousand years already #and the vegetables all just grow happily and absorb so much nutrient from the soil they are so big also #i was thinking of drawing e pel too but the space #while to people who born in this country feels things like these are normal #the thought of being able to be born in such a country where the produce all looking so big and healthy is such a blessing to me #it almost feels like they take it for granted; but it's just what they are born to #i have a nephew who is SUPER picky & waste food so much #i am crying everytime #yes y'all have a lot of food and good life here but h e l p #i'm sure the climate also makes vegetables bigger #i think i heard in winter plants stock more nutrients in their produce as stock for spring & summer #that's why winter veggies are better & sweeter and all #my country's vegetables are scrawny because the heat evaporates everything

[weewoow-20706030]

Bruce is the only member of the batfam that has no tolerance for spice. Dick grew up in a travelling circus, he has had food from all over the world. Jason grew up on the street, he ate what he could get. Tim's parents went all around the world, and had food and recipes from all around the world, whenever they were home Janet would make exotic meals. Damian grew up with Talia, he grew up on middle eastern food. But Bruce? He grew up on Alfred's British ass cooking, he thinks pepper has 'a little kick'.

#needless to say the kids find this hilarious #also. Dick would make spicy food for them all #Dick and Jason would have competitions for who can eat more spice #Dick won everytime #Some may say that Tim also has no spice tolerance... and they may be right... But I think its funnier if its just Bruce #I would add cass but idk her well enough #btw that pepper comment is something my dad has actually said #tim drake #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #batfamily #batbros #batgang #batboys #dcu #dc #should I add their hero names? #ehhhhh #why not #batman #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin

[catmask]

what is it about trying to learn health facts or hygeine or body care that after a certain point it tailspins into online fanaticism. why does my mom believe gut health powders meditation and sunlight mean she will never die or age. girl i just want to find a good yogurt brand

#we're trying different yogurts bc our kid (also has autism) is super super food picky #moreso than i ever was as a kid #forrest never had issues with food more sensory things like sound and heat/textile stuff #whereas i was super super picky BUT. i was always introduced to something of at least diff food groups #so even if i onyl atelike 6 things id always have One vegetable. One probiotic. One protein source. u get the deal #we only recently got our kid to start eating fish sticks and chicken and even beef! #so hes got protein down. before he only at chips and frozen mini pizzas. like thats literally it #and he eats bananas and strawberries. we got him vitamin/protein drinks for the time being so hes not nutrient deficient #and he likes those theyre chocolate #but we're trying to find a yogurt he doesnt mind bc he doesnt have like. any. digestive or fiber ro like anything ot help him #i dont want him to feel sick and sluggish all the time . we've had a lot of success with the drinkable yogurts #but talking abuot this made my mom start talking about gut health.......

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.

(poll results here for context)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #bonus comic #The most resounding conclusion the community came to agree on is thar Xie Lian is bad at cooking on purpose #and is stubborn to the point of refusing to let go of this feature (not a bug) of himself. #though if you practice being bad at something on purpose you do just…get bad. #Poor lan wangji probably had to watch him do horrendous food crimes in the kitchen. #crushing eggs in his fists and throwing it into the bowl or pan (shell and all). #Burning water. Throwing in ingredients based on the roll of a dice. Putting in leaves and cool rocks he found. #He is living his best life mind you. And I think as long as he is happy then let him make his potions. #This is *his* version of art therapy. It just shouldnt be fed to anyone. #lwj would probably try to make it more theraputic after realizing that the bad cooking skills were on purpose. But even then XL is a rock. #he will not do anything he does not want to. Including processing feelings. #Don't idealize that btw. You will do yourself no favours by ignoring hard emotions. Love and peace everypony; Its a hard world out there. #Hua Cheng and wwx hung out during all of this and have since become hunting buddies. #Sometimes its birds sometimes it's each other. For sport.

[thelastharbinger]

You know what's really rubbing salt into this wound? There is a recent Try Guys upload where because Alex is supposed to be getting married, was featured in a video where the guys had to purchase bridesmaid dresses and their engaged staff and respective partners had to select a winner for best outfit and that person was effectively to become their bridesmaid pick.

Ned literally wore a bridesmaid dress, for FUN, FOR the employee he cheated on his wife with, whom is also ENGAGED, AND had been creating content around her upcoming wedding on the channel as well. What. The. Fuck.

[Edit: Now that we know Ned and Alex have been together since at least December 2021 (when Alex's partner found pics + vids of them on her phone and asked Ned to back off--he did not), and the video mentioned above came out in February 2022...

I'm at a total mindfuck.]

[Re:Edit: Just found this on twitter...it just keeps getting worse

#it wouldve been WAY worse if in that video she actually ended up selecting ned to be her bridesmaid #but in hindsight i guess there was also a reason for that too #i mean...fuuuck #try guys #the try guys #ned fulmer #rewatching that video back now is an abdolute TRIP #also didn't he also very recently talk about maybe wanting more kids with ariel??? like sir? sir. #and the guys finally have their own show on the food network & if there were any time to be nervous abt a 2nd season well #now is it #like this screwed over everyone but most of all ariel and their kids ofc. damn.

[ren-144p]

something about the first few episodes of the terror having so many numbers. the men, the provisions, the inventory; but also the tension of counting. the scene where goodsir takes a picture of john franklin and his men and he's counting down the seconds. the lashes being counted down during hickey's punishment. and something about how in later episodes, numbers get lost. dates get forgotten. counting just stops. all of it becomes insignificant. like it was a countdown at first but now the time is just running out instead

#the terror #the terror amc #just some thoughts #loved the tension this show managed to build with countdowns and numbers #especially the countdowns that happened in real time like the ones mentioned #i was stressed out of my mind counting down seconds along with mr. goodsir #and i was counting in sheer shock during hickey's lashing #technically i know not all numbers went away; they still count guns in the camp later on for example #but the way they talk about food for one. the way at some point it switches from every can being accounted for #to 'we're mostly down to biscuits‚ tea and chocolate' #because the numbers don't matter anymore; all that matters it's that it is not enough #i dunno man!! numbers! i love when numbers and countdowns are utilized well to bring more horror and tension to the situation! #ren.txt

[obsob]

sending emails but sniffling and whimpering after typing each word

#mine #original #this is a self portrait today i sent 3 emails then had to go hve a warm bath #i hate emaisl i jhefb f hasf iw ant to bite emails as hard as i possibly can once really hard #im manifesting an illustration agency wanting me its going to happen i can feel it #pls pls spls plslslsp spls #i had more ot write but all gone from my head.....too many emails made brain fried #one of th cats has decided that her food is disgusting and is refusing 2 eat it .....little beast #shes been eating it very happily for like 3 weeks and now is like? kill yourself actually #anyway. am cold. going to go hve food.

[freelanceplatypus]

Dungeon Meshi modern au where both Laois and Falin are food vloggers. Laois is always travelling to remote areas and cultures to try the most "extreme" foods and bring them to light. He's known as the guy who will drink blood and slam a still wriggling bug just to comment on it's nutty flavor. Meanwhile Falin is visiting long-standing eateries and sharing the stories behind local cuisine.

Nobody actually puts together they're siblings (in part due to wildly different viewerbases) until Falin in one video mentions how she enjoys eating insects and the comment section is full of folks asking her to "collab with the bug guy". Her very next video is her and Laois smiling infront of a mukbang style platter of insects and she introduces him as her brother.

#marcille is falins video editor/manager in general #which results in a lot of fancy editing and trip booking #meanwhile laois is working with his crew of senshi and kabru #kabru works as the face getting them in to restricted areas and senshi actually documents these cultures recipes #marcille actually edits laois vids too despite getting so grossed out watching them #meanwhile she makes falin eating blood sausage look like art #chilchuk is just on call at all times to get them in and out of countries #he takes care of scheduling in general you think the touden siblings can keep a calendar #itzumi is the picky eater friend that i feel needs to appear in more food review content #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #modern au #laois touden #falin touden

[lewdlemage]

do you guys like karlach here.........

alt versions

#tums with food in them #i say knowing full well that you all do #more of a baezel person myself #theres a lot of alts of this lol

[caelanglang]

injury recovery…

*break an arm or two out there kids!*

#welcome back to another episode of cae breaking Dazai Osamu ft Nakahara Chuuya #no but imagine Dazai trolling and being a brat just to piss Chuuya off #but then when he realized that Chuuya is actually taking care of him he starts to mentally shut down #anyways I just want more skk taking care of each other #maybe in next week’s episode we will have—*gets shot* #blushing dazai is my favorite comfort #Chuuya taking care of dazai is also my favorite food #Im betting that dazai informally helped shaped chuuya’s education tho djdhchnd #i said what I said dazai fell first but Chuuya had mother hen instincts of worrying first #sorry if I am very unoriginal and boring at this point bc all I have to offer these days are *gestures hands* brainrots #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #skk #soukoku #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #my art #sketches #rambles in the tags again oops #fluff #tooth rotting fluff #domestic teen skk !!! #sketch

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Thinking about Astarion having to deal with his reclaimed mortality once the initial euphoria of it is wearing off: 

When he’s startled from sleep, woken by his own racing heartbeat. 

Him jumping at the movement in the corner of his eye, only to find it’s just his own reflection staring right back at him, puzzled, before he watches his cheeks redden with embarrassment. 

The sun slowly losing its appeal as time goes on because Astarion keeps getting nasty sunburns after days spent outside, trying to make up for centuries confined to darkness. Whenever he comes home with itching skin and drenched in sweat, he finds himself almost missing hiding in the shadows. 

The odd sensation of feeling more and less at the same time: while some of his senses are now dulled to better suit mortality, others feel heightened to the point of sensory overload—a gust of wind feels like fire licking at his skin and he gets so very anxious whenever he loses Tav in the crowd, unable to distinguish them by the once divine scent of their blood any longer. 

Since he has a reliant supply of his own blood pumping through his veins now, he’s feeling aroused so much easier and more often than not at quite inconvenient times. He enjoyed having sex with Tav before, but now that he’s mortal again, he finds that he’s having to overthink intimacy once again—where his desires used to be driven by burning hunger, lust now feels like a pleasant, more natural bodily reaction. Having to seriously consider contraceptive measures, should his partner be able to get pregnant, is also a rather novel experience for him.  

Bathing still feels as good as before, at least. But where he spent hours in the bathroom out of pointless vanity then, Astarion now has to wash himself because his body would stink of sweat and, well, life otherwise. It will be years before he openly excuses himself for having to use the bathroom whenever nature calls.

And food—food would be the hardest to adjust to. It takes a lot of trial and error to find something that pleases his virgin taste buds (although he swears there’re some odd pieces of memories flashing in front of his eyes whenever he's snacking on wild strawberries or awfully sweet citron tarts). He ends up acquiring a taste for raw cookie dough, shredded cheese and sardines, eating little else for the next two years or so. To everyone's astonishment, he's gotten food poisoning only once or twice.

Astarion is no stranger to pain or injury, but he’s appalled by how long it takes to recover from the most minor cuts and bruises. It’s a well-kept secret between him and Tav that his first common cold had him convinced he was dying for a fortnight straight. 

Crying is much easier now, too.

Ironically, it’s mortality that forces Astarion to strive for more permanent, detail-oriented plans for the future. Now that life is finite, he wants to use the time he has wisely. He might keep travelling the realms until he breathes his last, or settle down, eventually. He might learn a new profession or accumulate some wealth in less honest ways. Maybe, one day, he wants to have a family, heirs to whatever he decides to make his own. 

Once Astarion has come to terms with being a mortal elf again, he realises living is not just about a beating heart. Living is about having endless possibilities but limited time. Choices and decisions that lead to only one thing: death. 

Now that Astarion is living again, he finally understands that death is just another part of the journey.

#astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 #astarion headcanons #bg3 astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #I know vampires can technically sire children #but to me it feels like that would be a more conscious choice with the blood drinking and all #emicha writes #long post #tw: food

[yashley]

I feel like if she's telling me so strongly to stay away from it, I don't trust her anymore.

#critical role #ygifs #cr3 #imogen #liliana #ms bailey..........im chewing drywall #it’s cool cos liliana literally just can't tell her gay daughter she has to do all this to stay with her gay frenemy lover #imogen living with this all alone her entire life finding out her mama shares it but will never share it with her #Wanting to belong with her curse Wanting to belong with her mama and she's denied the only relationship that would matter :)) #but liliana deliberately conjure nightmares for imogen torturing her own daughter her entire life just for Love* :) #doing the Worst to someone you Love more than your own life praying it's for the best Begging to keep them safe when... :)) good food