#notes: ok but this post feels aggressive :/ im not comfortable putting something like this on my followers' dashes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

variouscolors · 1 year

Text

[Pinned] Welcome!!

Since we got this new feature, i’d like to take advantage of it to make clear people are aware of this blog’s etiquette.

The text below is an updated version of the rules (est. Feb/05/2022) which you can find it on the [Menu] in the desktop version of the blog. But I will be linking a few pages here for mobile users.

[Crossover list] • [Muses] • [Database] • [Lore] • [Ships] • [AU] • [HC] • [ART] • [Tag list]

Blog Status: Currently on depression season + trying to work on a few personal projects (YPD is one of them)

prev. url: @digitaladventurers

Rules below:

○ About Ni:

I’m Ni/Nina AKA digitalgate02 (She/They) and I’m 20+ I ask you: if you’re a minor please leave because I won’t interact with you & if you don’t i will softblock and perhaps block you if you insist. [full bio at the end of the post]

Thank you for passing by and please read all of this page, because some etiquette & info are present here:

Firstly, Personal blogs/Non-RPers following it please do not reblog any of my posts/art unless I state on the tags or on the said post that it is OK to be shared. I usually put warning of what can and cannot be reblogged. This is an RP blog and it can make me quite uncomfortable with it. Also, if you reblog something here, I might silently block you unless you have a RP sideblog.

I tag things that make you uncomfortable, but please let me know on your about/rules pages OR warn me privately (IM or Askbox) so I can make you feel comfortable by following me.

Please TAG your N/F/S/W s/e/x & s/m/u/t posts.

I don’t follow for follow count. Also, I’m not mutuals-exclusive which means if I feel fine with you I will reply even if I don’t follow back. • I only follow multi-blogs from friends or if are digimon-only. I get a huge anxiety attack thinking i will be ghosted.

PLEASE BE 18+ YEARS OLD BECAUSE SOME OF THE CONTENT IN THIS BLOG IS MATURE. Please unfollow to not be soft-blocked. If soft-block does not work, you’ll be permanently blocked;

Please do not use passive-aggressiveness with me, it makes me uncomfortable. I only allow it to be done with my muses, but not with myself. • I don't need to make a note/rule about etiquette and not being a mean spirited person right? I don't want any anti-LGBTIA racist xenophobe following me and my other accounts.

The portrayal I mostly use for this blog is from both BR dub and JP version. I have zero idea about the US dub (or any other) so please be gentle with me. • I like 02 epilogue, Kizuna, 02TB and Adventure 2020 (Reboot/Psi) & I also have my own “epilogue AU” project, with a verse on this blog. If roleplaying with either of those is a big NO-NO for you, let me know and any foreshadowing or reference for them will be totally avoided. Also you can blog tags which has “kizuna” / "02tb" / “Adv2020″ / “digitimelines” / “epilogue” in it. Check the masterlist tag for details. • I’m canon divergent regarding some material: ▽ and Wonderswan games, as example. • For non Adv-verse muses, all of them are post-series unless stated in the tags. • I go with JP terminology & names, but I’m totes fine with dub names. If you start a thread with them, I’ll tag along with it. But if I’m the one starting it I’ll go with what I’m used to.

I’m OK with duplicates/multimuses, all I ask you is please PLEASE do not compare or expect me to write my canon muses the same way as the others or you. If I get anyone doing that to me, I’m considering blocking. Same for anon questions trying to control how things are portrayed, aka “canon police” . As said previously, I go with BR dub and JP version for portrayal. • I do a lot of research and also analysis about some characters back and forth. However if you need to correct me about some incorrect information, please be polite and nice. I swear if you be aggressive/angry or passive-aggressive around me there’s chances of your message being misunderstood and causing me anxiety.

I know shipping is cool, but to ship stuff with me, you need to at least have been my acquaintance or a friend. Also must get totes permission from you to make some advance, like dating and marriage. • I do not s/m/u/t, sorry I’m actually not okay-ish with this kind of thread stuff and I blacklist those to avoid seeing it. • Ship-teasing is OK, and I do it most of the time!! But if you’re not okay or feel uncomfortable, tell me and muse won’t do those. Some of those kids are totally snarky and won’t lose the opportunity, however only if you’re fine with it. • I multi-ship a lot, but there’s some stuff I might be NOT OK-ish with like shipping minors with adults, digi/human or incest. I usually ship my muses as teen or young adults, or adults. I won't hesitate to block if you try to ship my adult muses with children, or a digimon with a human muse, or incest.

Please have some common RP etiquette: No godmodding, mind-reader, etc. • Also please please, turn ask posts into normal posts, and trim them as well. If you can’t do it, please let me know and I will gladly do it for you. • Small actions like “following your muse” “passing an object to your muse” are OK, but if you have some doubt of what it is acceptable contact me first! • Please don't touch my muses without asking me first. Not this is about them, but more like... about how i don't like these kind of actions done before giving me some awareness first. Actions like hugging or giving head/back pats are OK, but things more aggressive like kissing or physical harm must be warned to me via DM. Sorry, I don't do those things to the others so you shouldn't do them to me as well.

I love plotting & discussing stuff, so if you have that crazy idea or some angsty plot or just a funny prompt to be written with me, I’m always open for new things. For new friends & discussion. However, I tend to get quite fired up when discussing about the things I like/dislike. If it happens I’m apologizing right now for it.

Crossovers are my jam, but I kinda of put some limits on it. Like, I have to actually have small knowledge about the series to be able to put my muses in those other worlds if it is an AU setting. There’s a list of which series I’ve watched, I follow or simple enjoy.

I’m totes OC-friendly, but please let me know about your muse first. Because I love creating OCs too and I know it is hard to find canon RPers who’re okay-ish with OCs. • If your OC is related to any canon character I write, please let me know first. I get totally uncomfortable when people starts interacting with my muses like if they already know each other, so please let’s discuss and plot relationships together first!!

This blog is not a meme/icon resource, but you can get the icons i share at @goggle-digicons (aka the old blog now archived + working as digimon icon warehouse) • My icons with my fanart are exclusively for myself, but i have given permission to @yagamitaichi to use my art before in the past. So yeah, if you ask me first i won't mind lending some of my doodled icons to be used. If you steal them, i will block you asap.

○ I used to have a password, since not everyone sends it (tho it does not mean I won’t RP with you) I ditched that requirement. But if you still want to send me one, just sing “Brave Heart” chorus’ last line. I’m assuming that everyone reads this page by the way… ○

About Mun:

Hi I’m Ni (She/They; 20↑) , I love Digimon in general but the series I work more is with Adventure series. I’m Ace/Panromantic, use she/her or they/them pronouns please. I’m a scaredy-cat kind of person who get nervous and anxious at first, but once we start bonding I will drop those and be more of myself.

I love to learn new things, so please correct me if needed but without yelling at me because I kinda of hate being yelled at, bad bad personal life experiences. My muses, despite some being quite closer to my personality are NOT me so please be aware of the differences between muse and writer.

I get super duper fired up when talking about the things I love the most. However I can be quite harsh and critic about said stuff as well. I tend to get a lot of brainstorms so if I’m messaging you that much please tell me and I will slow down my pace.

I also get excited when writing a thread, so I tend to reply hella quick while I still have in mind what to say. Don’t rush me, but give me small reminders if I forget to reply since there’s a chance I actually forgot to or thought it was your turn when in fact I hadn’t reply in the first place.

I also draw. Like, a lot. Quite compulsive. Some of my non-canon-material icons are my own art. And I feel a bit uncomfortable by using other people’s art WITHOUT their permission. So yeah, I do my own fanart icons… When I get energy for those.

#ooc notes; mission details

0 notes

sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

Text

~ High on hatred ~

Warnings: SMUT, college!au, stoner!jisung, fem!reader, goodstudent x badstudent, illegal substances, fingering, blowjob, aggressivity(?), choking, hairpulling, penetrative sex (stay safe :c), nicknames (babygirl, slut..), hickies, cuddles!

Word count: 3,134 words (ok cherry slow down ffs)

Requested: yesyes~ thank u anon for requestiiing cc:

Note: ok huge note here! i literally know nothing about drugs/illegal substances (or even legal substances for maybe except my raging caffeine addiction) (where im from most substances are illegal heh) so please understand if this shits written like shit) also bad boys x good girls is my WEAKNESS since i always want some “bad boy” to wreck my good girl agenda hahahsh

Jisung wasn’t the most outstanding student in college but somehow you ended up being partners for a group project. The quiet straight A kid with the failing stoner, you could already imagine how this would go. You sat next to him in the lecture hall after your professor had announced the pairs and dreaded introducting yourself but your parents raised you with the belief that kindness comes first so you took a deep breath and said:

“Hi! I’m y/n” you smiled at him. His gaze met yours, those dark brown eyes were somewhat bloodshot and his aura reeked of smoke.

“Sup, Jisung” he waved with his thumb, pointer- and middle finger lazily towards you as his gaze scanned your body. You felt a bit uncomfortable by his predatory stare so you shifted in your seat, adjusting the white flowy skirt you had on.

“Ehm.. so.. how do you want to structure up the project? I was thinking that we could divide the parts by-” you were stopped by his scoff. You looked at him in confusion. This would be much more difficult than you anticipated.

“Come over to my house tonight babygirl” his corny smirk and raspy voice made you want to punch him. Taken aback you turned your head slightly as you said;

“What? So I can be another one of the girls you fuck?” your blood was boiling. Who does he think he is with his snapback and dangly silver earrings?

“Chill, I was thinking about working on the project but you seem to have other plans in mind with me” he smirked, still observing you.

Your face turned beet red and Jisungs cocky attitude did not help in the slightest.

“I.. I d-didn’t mean that..” you stuttered but you decided to shut up to not make the situation worse. Jisung reached for the post-it notes that were by your side and wrote something down. He teared it off the pad and just as you stood up, hoping to walk away and never see him again you heard him say;

“Babygirl, come at 7″ he stretched out his arm, hand holding the note.

You grabbed it aggressively and stomped off as you heard him yell “Come safely babygirl”

♡

On your way home you crumbled up the note and stuffed it in your pocket. You had no intention of meeting him but when you arrived home you reached for the pink note in your pocket as you took off your backpack and sat down in the kitchen. The pink note had his adress on it. The urge to just scream and rip up the note was strong but something stopped you and that was the fact that you needed to get this project done. You were not going to fail because of some stoner. You unpacked your bag and started studying on some of your other courses but the note always lurked in the corner of your eye.

Hours later you stood infront of your mirror putting different shirts on hangers against your torso, comparing the colors. Being preoccupied with choosing the cutest shirt you didn’t notice the fact that you tried to look your best for Jisung. Eventually you snapped out of your good girl side that always wanted to look presentable. Why do I care about what he thinks of me? You rolled your eyes and put the shirts back into your closet as you took out a sweatshirt and a matching pair of sweatpants. “This will do” you said under your breath as you slipped into the comfortable fabric before you ordered a taxi.

“Shit better be worth it” you sighed as you clicked “proceed” and saw the sum. You packed your bag with the necessary stationary, threw on a fluffy ivory jacket and grabbed the keys with a jingle.

You greeted the taxi driver whose taxi stood infront of the apartment complex. Before you headed out you managed to grab the pink note and now showed it to the driver that nodded whilst the soft radio static played in the background. The town looked so peaceful in the evenings, the artificial lights from the thousands of offices reflected in your glistening eyes as you looked out the window. You noticed that your shoulders were tense signaling that you were nervous which was dumb. Why would you be nervous to meet a dirtbag that has the right to call you ‘babygirl’? A shudder cascaded down your spine at the though of that awful nickname, especially when it echoed in your head in Jisungs voice.

The taxi halted infront of a long block of brick apartment complexes, the nightlife being busy as usual in the big city you resided. A small “thank you” slipped out of your tongue before you opened the car door and were met by the cold breeze. The entrence had grand glas and wood double doors which opened with a loud creek. You looked at the note once again, checking what apartment number the boy lived in. “248″ you muttered as you made your way up the stone staircase. “Found it”, you stood infront of the slightly bashed ivy colored door. Your hesitant fist made it’s way to knock on the door and after 5 nervewracking seconds the tall, slim boy opened the door with a joint between his lips. Smoke was emitting from behind him and the organic scent hit your nostrils.

“You came babygirl” he leaned against the door frame as he drew in the smoke from the joint and blew it towards you. You coughed and waved your hand infront of your nose, clearing the smoke.

“What you standing for? Come in” he snapped his head backwards as a sign for you to step in. You looked down and entered the small smoke-filled apartment. He went to his room and you followed behind with small steps observing the disorganised living space that was cluttered with takeout boxes and photos of friends. His room wasn’t any better. Piles of laundry sat everywhere in the small room and the bed wasn’t made. Did he seriously think that the two of you could do the project when there was a mess wherever you looked? He kicked a pile of clothes away from the carpet and threw a cushion from the bed towards you. He sat down on the carpet as he drew in another breath of smoke into his lungs. Reluctantly you sat down on the cushion opposite to Jisung that was dressed in a boxy white t-shirt and black basketball shorts.

The big bunch of papers that were required for the project came out of your backpack that was sitting beside you. You spread out the papers on the carpet to make sure Jisung could see but he didn’t seem interested. Instead he kept on smoking as he stared at you intentively, that preditory gaze of his returning. As you were about to start talking about the ideas you had he stretched out his hand offering you a puff. You furrowed your eyebrows as a response to his action.

“No thanks, I don’t do... that..” you said whilst shaking your head gently.

That teeth-gritting smirk was plastered on his face as he said:

“You sure babygirl? It will help you relax” he heightened his eyebrows at you.

Normally you would be very stubborn. You never let anyone do something to you that you didn’t like but in that moment you were swooned by his presence. Was it your feelings or the smoke that you had been breathing in? Without thinking twice you grabbed the joint from his hand to which he licked his lips, grinning.

You put it against your lips and puffed deeply, tasting the smoke in your mouth and feeling it spread in your lungs. A loud cough startled Jisung a bit and you passed the joint back to the brown haired boy. Instantly he looked thousands times more attractive. ‘I must be crazy’ you though as you gently shook your head and tried to concentrate at the papers laid out infront of you. In your peripheral view you saw Jisung shift closer to you and you lifted your head up to look at him. There was something intoxicating about him. The way his brown locks hanged over his eyes or how his piercings shined in the light from outside or maybe it was that veiny hand that held the flaming joint. Whatever it was you found yourself leaning closer to him. Just as he hit the joint again, the smoke spreading in his mouth, you attached your light pink lips onto his plump ones. Jisung opened his mouth in the kiss, crashing his tongue on yours which made the smoke enter your mouth. Being to caught up in the moment Jisung put out the joint on the dark wood flooring which probably was a huge fire hazard but did either of you care in the moment? No.

The kiss was passionate coming from the tremendous amount of sexual tension in the air. Jisung veiny hand cupped your blushing cheek for a second before it snaked around the back of your neck, pulling you deeper into the wet sloppy kiss. You broke the kiss for a moment to stand up and Jisung did the same but only for a moment as you were pushed down against the unmade bed. It smelled just like him. The substances he was smoking accentuated his natural smell because of course it wasn’t just weed but tobacco as well. You remembered the countless times he had been smoking a cigarette with his friends outside the college department and the momentary eye contact the two of you made before you hurried off to your other classes. It always seemed like his gaze lingered on you even as you walked away.

You landed with your hands beside your head. As Jisung hovered above you he held both of your hands in his, pinning you to the bed. The wet patch in your panties was growing simply by seeing him on top of you. He leaned down to kiss you once again, biting so hard on your bottom lip that it almost drew blood. The two tongues fought for dominance but the second his hand crept underneath your sweatshirt you lost, a low whine escape your mouth in defeat. Your heads twisted as the makeout session got a slow but steady pace. His hand was warm but more substantial than you though against your boobs which he squeezed harshly through your white bra. Involuntarily your hand grabs a fist of his hair making him smirk against the kiss.

“Desperate babygirl?” he coaxes you.

“Desperate to get this over with so we can work on the project” you answer inbetween kisses.

“I think you have a much bigger problem to worry about” he growled and looked down for a split second.

As if the smoke wasn’t enough this just added fuel to the fire, both to the deep red color your cheeks were stained with and the wetness in your panties. His clothes were off in a blink and before you knew it he was pulling away yours as well, leaving you with nothing but your slightly embarrassing pink panties that were decorated with a small animal print.

“Aren’t you adorable?” he cooed at you as his hand trailed down your torso and plummeted into your panties.

“Shut up-ahh” your attempt of trying to bring his cocky attitude failed once again when he brutally entered two fingers into your sopping cunt. You couldn’t help but to moan as he started to pump his digits inside of you obviously enjoying the sight of the good girl being demolished beneath his touch. When he started to circle your clit with his thumb you held on to his wrist, digging your nails into his skin in order to stop a loud moan. Jisungs fingertips grazed your g-spot and by this point your small whines turned into breathy moans.

“I though you didn’t like me?” he said arrogantly.

“I don’t” you tried to keep your composure even though his fingers felt so good inside of you.

“Judging by your wet cunt you seem to like me very much, babygirl” he said while grabbing a fistful of your hair. You couldn’t argue because if you really hated him why were you so desperate to have his length inside of you?

Jisungs fingers pulled out of you, your juices covered his digits and as his fingers got closer to your face you opened your mouth and sucked them clean. He harshly pulls you up by your hair, now sitting on the edge of the bed as Jisung stands infront of you. His dick had both girth and length which made your mouth water by just the sight. The red tip was decorated with a bead of precum and as he still held your hair he put the tip against your lips. Instantly you started sucking him off. First you kitten licked the tip of his immense dick being a bit afraid of his size but Jisung got impatient and yanked you by your hair once again, making you take him fully in your mouth and choking. Your eyes burned as they teared up but that didn’t stop you from sucking him off, hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head profusely. He didn’t seem too impressed though.

“I think I found one thing babygirl can’t do. Sucking dick” he grinned as he looked you deep in the eyes for a second before he bucked his hips into your mouth and facefucked you. His length hit the back of your throat everytime he fucked into you but you were to busy looking at his perfect face. Those sinful grunts that came out from his mouth made you rub your thighs in desperation. How could someone you hated look so ethereal with his dick in your mouth? The way sweat beads formed around his temple and coated a couple of those light brown streaks. The way his big hand held your hair tightly and most importantly those sounds. Those lewd sounds that rolled off his tongue.

He rolled his head back and then looked back at you, catching you staring at him.

“No I definitely think babygirl likes me. Those loving eyes don’t lie” he uttered, staring at you and stroking a piece of your hair behind your ear.

As he pulled out you caught your breath and coughed a for bit before you scooted back on the bed, dragging Jisung by his hand which landed him on top of you once again. He seperated your legs with his knee and lined himself up with your entrance before slowly pushing into you. His girth with the slow movement made you roll your eyes back, the feeling of being filled made you content.

“Fuck...you feel so tight” he said, brows furrowed as he started to slowly push in and out of you. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss to muffle your moans. The pace steadily increased as you bit his bottom lip while kissing, returning the favor from before that contributed to your swollen lips. When the kiss broke a string of spit seperated your lips as the both of you panted from the thrusts that were becoming more aggressive. You moaned as you gripped onto the bedsheets upon which your knuckles whitened. Jisungs noises turned you on crazily but when he snaked his hand around your neck you could only whine in response. He choked you and held you pinned down stopping you from squirming away. The other hand was circling your clit which only heightened the pleasure, eyes rolling back into your skull. A squeak erupted from the bed everytime Jisung pounded into your soaked cunt but that wasn’t the only sound. The both of you moaned in unison which fit the sound of skin slapping that was filling the room. You tightly shut your eyes trying to silence a moan but opened them soon after, meeting Jisungs brown orbs. His lids were low from the blunt smoke but that only gave his arrogant attitude a boost.

You could feel that he was near by the way his dick twitched inside of you. Feeling cocky you decided to clench against his length which also pushed you closer to your own release. He was clearly getting pissed and leaned down to your neck, sucking purple marks onto it which would be impossible to cover up. You whined and squirmed as you needed to go to school tomorrow and couldn’t bear the strange looks from others when your neck was covered in bruises.

“That’s what you get for clenching around me like a little slut” he growled against your neck as you clenched around him once again earning a moan from him. Now he was getting really close and so were you. His thrusts got harder but sloppier, your boobs bouncing with the pace. You clenched around him one last time and that was the trigger for Jisungs release. The vein on his neck popped up to the surface as his jaw hanged open. Your cunt filled with his warm load which made you cum grip tightly on anything beside you. The both of you rode out the orgasm which made your legs shake and spine bend up from the mattress. Eventually Jisung pulled out leaving you feeling empty with his white cum dripping out of your hole. He layed beside you and panted, chest heaving. You layed there in silence for a minute, only the sound of heavy breathing could be heard in the dark evening. Deciding to clean up the mess he had made you stood up causing the cum to leak down your unstable leg but before you could take a step Jisung grabbed your soft hand and pulled you down onto the bed again. You looked at him in confusion.

“You weren’t planning on leaving me without any cuddles?” he said with a slightly whining voice.

You couldn’t believe what you heard. Before another thought could cross your mind you were already snuggled up in his arms, your head against his heaving chest. It was cozy and you felt safe despite that you barely knew him. You stroked his cheek gently as you observed his perfect facial features. Sure, his attitude could use some work but his face had a flawless charm.

“We should study more often” he muttered against your hair as he kissed you on your head.

Even if the caring boy was high off his rockers your heart fluttered at his words. You blushed as you snuggled closer to his chest, falling sound asleep in his grasp.

436 notes · View notes

theanxietylifes-blog · 3 years

Text

The Anxiety Life

Entry 1

I cast my mind back to 2o13, black 2013......

My karate sensei announced he was quiting teaching classes, after 4 years and several belt grades into my training under his guidance. A teacher of not only karate, but a teacher of life, a figure I and so many other students looked up to, and were inspired by.

That's where it all came crashing down around me, that's what I believed to be the trigger.

The mental illness I would eventually come to nick name as the black dog.......

Back in the late 80's, in a time I consider some of the best times of my life, the nostalgia of those later high school years where I felt invincible, achieving in mostly anything I put any kind of time and effort into. Excelling in sports and music, all the things that the "in kids" were into.

Back then, as it probably still is today there were different social classes, or I guess a social pecking order at school. At the top there were the really cool kids, who were usually tough, and bent or broke the rules often, rebelling against any form of authority. At the other end of the pecking order, you had the straight laced somewhat dorky misfits and bookworms, you know the types, that would often go on and peak in life, becoming highly successful long after school days were long gone. I was neither at the top or the bottom of that pecking order, rather, some where in between. I had a good group of friends, and came from a good middle class home where home life was also pretty good.

Even in those salad days, as early as my later high school years It was there.....

and my first recollection, that I could remember when it started.....

Standing at the light switch in my room, the last thing to do before I hopped into bed," ok turn the light switch on, then off, then on, then off, how many times was that,

it has to be six times, ok jump into bed", my head voice now in full gear, loud, and relentless.

"You better get get back up, and back to that light switch or something real bad is going to happen to you". Now back at the light switch again",1,2,3,4,5,6 on off on off", this cycle occurring over and over, before that inner voice was silenced, and I could finally go to sleep.

Entry 2 Black 2013

I think it was a month or so after my sensei, and life mentor left the Dojo when it began....

I woke around 2am in the early hours of the morning, feeling uneasy, but what was more unsettling was my racing heartbeat, and the horrible feeling like I couldn't take a decent breath in. The more I tried and couldn't, the faster my heartbeat raced, and the more I panicked.....waking my wife up in the process I remember spiraling into a frenzied terror.

My wife was trying to calm me down, telling me to try and calm down and focus on measured breathing. But it was to no avail, I couldn't be calmed, I just kept yelling in desperate panic "feel my pulse, feel my pulse im having a heart attack, I can't breathe I feel im going to blackout at any second", but right at the point where I really felt like I was going to pass out, I got control of myself, I started to feel my breathing return back to normal, and after a while my heart rate slowed down, and although shaky from the ordeal after about half an hour and some comforting from my wife I felt ok.

Things got worse, a couple of nights later I had the same night repeated all over again, only this time, in my sheer panic, of once again feeling all the symptoms of a perceived heart attack, the heart palpitations, some chest pains, difficulty with breathing, (hyperventilating), this time, t frantically threw some clothes on at the end of my bed, slipped past my still sleeping wife, and without any rational thought, grabbed my car keys, got in my car and sped off like a mad man, to the closest hospital emergency department, which was about 10 minutes away. I had totally lost it, thinking I was going to die, I sped through red lights, driving as fast as I could, with only the single thought in mind, of making it to the hospital before I passed out,

I got there still frantic, I pretty much ditched the car anywhere I could, close to the emergency department.....

After some hours past, and a panicked wife that woke to realise I had gone MIA....

I got the all clear from the emergency doctor, and I made my way back home.

ENTRY 3

I have been in the workforce now for over 30 years, and I still don't know what I want to do in my working life, in fact as the years roll by I've certainly discovered more and more about what I don't want, but feel lost when it comes to finding my purpose in working life, and for that matter life in general.

I hate my job, I feel like i'm surviving, not really living, and I feel like my only friend

once i've clocked on, is time ticking away, until It's tools down and I can go home.

I'm constantly in search for a possible career change, I covert all the online employment guides, and career guides, I also take online career adviser tests, constantly trying to find my fit, but nothing has ever jumped out at me, screaming here I am, the career choice that's right for you....don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of further study and or training, or putting the work in, for the right role, but my fears lye in the fact that I am getting to, if i'm not there already, an age where a career change would be very difficult, especially when I still don't really know what my best career would look like.

ENTRY 4

People and socialising can make me feel tired, I feel like it takes a lot of energy to go out on a social outing and have to socialise with groups of people, even family social gatherings can wear me down quickly. It's not like I don't like people, I work in a job role that sees me interact with people throughout my day, I know that I mentioned that I hated my job in my last entry, but it's not necessarily, the interacting with people part that I dislike about the job, I feel it's more the overall picture of my job, and how it fits with me as a person.

I feel my social skills have declined, particularly in recent years and especially the older I get. I find the art of small talk particularly hard, I think mainly because i'm of the philosophy, that if you don't have anything "real" to say, or something that has meaning, It's better not to say anything at all. Perhaps this has been one of my downfalls in recent years, and why I don't have many friends, particularly close friends. The other point is, I guess I don't put in the effort required to maintain a friendship either, I suppose this all comes back to putting in the required time, and effort, into building friendships, something I haven't felt a strong need to do. Maybe it might just be that I haven't found people that I naturally find interesting and I can relate to, friends that I don't feel the need to make forced, awkward conversations and interactions with, where I don't feel uncomfortable if I don't have something to say for the sake of filling in silence, where socilaising is actually enjoyable, and doesn't feel like it's soul draining.

Sometimes I wonder if I am normal. as I really like my own company a large percentage of the time. I have interests that I like to endulge a lot of my time with, and I am a very goal orientated person. For the sake of keeping my identity anonymous, I have chosen not to disclose my interests, only to describe how they play a part in my life.

ENTRY 5

I am a very nostalgic person, I find myself reflecting alot about the past.....I often sit and think about how the past always seems to have been the best times of my life, and how the present can never measure up to be as good. I often think back on the fond memories about late high school life, and my first years as a young adult, post high school in the late 1980's and early 90's.

Partnered with my frequent daydreaming and reflecting on life and the past, is my life long love for music. I think music is one of the greatest gifts in life. to me, there is nothing that can conjure up emotions and can elevate your "mood," whether it be, sadness, happiness, aggression, or any other state of mind, quiet like the power of music. One of the many joys of music is it's ability to serve as an audible photo album, a sound track to our lives. How many times have you heard a song on the radio, and it's a song that you may have forgotten about over the years, which you haven't heard since you were a teenager, all those years ago, in a certain time in your life, and then bam! those familiar song notes hit your ears, and there it is, and you are instantly transported back to that time, only, unlike a photo, a still frame captured in time, music is alive it's a truly awesome thing, that for a moment, can take you right back to that time, the smells, a girlfriends kiss, or some special accomplishment back then, a special thing that only the power of music can deliver.

ENTRY 6

Back in black 2013, I had many trips to the hospital, with varying symptoms that seemed like heart attack symptoms.....

It was on one particular occasion, where the hospital ran a thorough range of tests on me, which all came back normal, the doctor started asking me questions i'd never heard before, followed by a paper questionaire. This included questions like, have you ever thought about killing yourself, and do you often feel like you have a lack of motivation in life, and other questions along those lines. After submitting my answers to the questionaire, the doctor came in to discuss the outcome with me, and in summary, concluded I had Anxiety depression issues, and perscribed medication, and discussed having me see a phsychologist.

A couple of days after that consultation with the ER doctor. I woke up early one morning feeling like I wanted to jump out of my skin, I felt terrible, on edge and my heart was beating 100 miles an hour, and I felt myself loosing control, and spiraling into yet another panic attack episode.

Apart from that, I also had other horrible underlying feelings like, an over whelming sense of helplessness, and feeling like everything was just too hard to deal with, and I was just too tired to face the realities of life.

mental health

anxiety

depression

#mental health #anxiety depression

1 note · View note

dredreadsdrawing · 4 years

Text

Oc-tober day 5: Old

For Day 5’s challenge, I brought back what I believe to be my first trans character haha. This will start as cringe plz bear with me. Im copy pasting the Quickie I had planned for a post in my writing blog.

PunchLine: Quickie Summary

Just suddenly grew nostalgic of this story lol. Notes before delving into the plot:

- I literally started this story’s concept when I was in 5th – 6th grade and first watched Ouran High School Host Club. My kid brain was mad at Haruhi for not taking advantage of her passing as a boy so I made what started as a self-insert oc that gradually transformed into my first trans character ever. Whack, lol.

- Just a side thing, most of my damn stories have playlists and I swear, All Time Low/All American Rejects songs are exclusively this story’s official soundtrack.

- The main character’s name is super…. Wow lol. Please bear with me I might change it, just… this was a story I started making when I was 11 and really liked ‘unique’ names instead of conventional ones >X,,D

- Please have mercy on my tiny weeb soul.

Lolol ok, plot start naw. Keep in mind I was very influenced by anime at this point of my life so I started this in a stereotypical Japanese setting but made it more Americanized over the years. Big oof.

Protagonist (I called em Echo lol) is a hella poor girl living pretty much by herself in a shitty apartment. Her aunt is her caretaker but she’s never home and she doesn’t work. Echo has to work a job herself to make money for food. She has a quiet personality, long, terrible hair with split ends everywhere, and a boxy frame. She works doing lots of manual labor, adding to her poor health.

Because she’s always been quiet, no one knows who she really is. She’s just ‘that poor girl who never talks’, and they mostly leave her alone. One particularly shitty night however, after getting fired without her pay, she gets caught by some hotshot popular dude and his cronies with her work uniform on. Kids aren’t supposed to work. He takes a picture and threatens to turn her in if she doesn’t follow him. He’s just looking for some easy fun with a docile girl he can make do anything. She’s done being docile.

In true anime fashion she beats the hell out of these dudes, trash talking them the entire time. She’s merciless, bashing them all black and blue until they pass out. Only once everyone but the main instigator is down does she take his phone. “I have back-ups!” The boy exclaims through broken teeth. She looks at him and posts the image onto his feed herself. She’s done going to school anyways. She destroys the phone, laughing, and he loses consciousness. She gets up and dusts herself off.

She had a spectator. Some dude had watched the whole thing from his fancy car. He thinks he could use someone like her.

The following week goes as expected. She’s expelled. Her aunt came to act as a concerned guardian in front of the school but left immediately after. She took Echo’s savings. Echo is laying in her mattress on the floor, pretty much wishing to be dead when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

Oh boy. It’s the spectator dude with two other boys (one of em may end up being cut lol). He has a proposition. She join their prestigious team from some fancy school for something (idk I initially had her join a mob lol but these kids are still in highschool. Maybe their fighting club?) and they’ll pay for her tuition and living expenses. But there’s a catch. The team is boys-only and she has to crossdress. She signs up immediately anyways lol. From now on, she will live as a boy (so I will use he/him pronouns).

Hmm… mayhaps the reason Echo has such a ‘unique’ name is because he chose it himself. Like the edgy teen he is. Cries.

Echo packs his stuff and goes with em. He hears the specifics about his new group. Eric is the leader, who’s father founded the group. He clearly puts on an aura of being tough and in control, but his delivery is too forced. The spectator dude that found Echo is his co-leader, a guy who actually knows what he’s doing, but doesn’t want to overthrow Eric because he thinks it’s funny seeing him struggle. He is a dick lol. Depending on whether or not I’ll use him, the third dude is Eric’s best friend from childhood meant to be the soft one who helps Echo settle at first.

Moving on, I don’t have a coherent timeline of events, just scattered things that will happen. For sure, Eric and Echo keep butting heads, mostly because Eric tries to control Echo and the group as a whole too much, and Echo is like ‘dude, your demanding for perfection only makes me want to screw things up more to show you how unhealthy your expectations are. And also cuz youre cute when you’re mad.’

Eric has a legacy to live up to. He’s the classic worrywart trying to live up to an image and failing. Echo was brazen at first with his trying to mess Eric up, but he softens as he realizes how much it effects Eric. They eventually hear eachother out and come to a compromise. That’s the start of their friendship.

Then, a year later, comes Kimmie. She’s Eric’s childhood crush. She’s short, she’s plump, and she has a rude attitude. Eric’s been a simp for her since he was a kid. He tries way too hard to make her see him as a romantic partner; she’s the reason he grew out his hair when he heard her casually mention she likes it long.

What’s his reason for liking her so much? When they were kids, Eric was plump too, but unlike with her, kids would pick on him because he always just took it. She defended him a lot, and her fiery personality mixed with her ability to hit kids and get away with it made her feared. He idolized her ever since.

She reacts to this as well as you’d imagine a childhood crush staying just a crush is handled. Meaning she clearly sets up walls around him and tells him he’s not interested. Echo, however, catches her eye.

After a P.E session, Kimmie follows Echo to his usual changing place and catches him with his top off. Kimmie knew Echo was a ‘girl.’ Kimmie explains she had seen Echo before his transition. Echo laughs it off, finding her brazenness cute. “So what now? You wanna tell the school?” “… I require you for something actually…”

Kimmie is dating Echo now. Eric is devastated. Kimmie flaunts Echo around like a trophy, breaking many girl’s hearts that had previously asked him out. Echo has to follow her around as a part of their deal, but he doesn’t mind it. The more he learns about her, the more he likes her.

Eric tries to confront him about it along with his friends. Eric’s approach is…. Well… “You’re faking this, right? You don’t like girls, you’re not really a boy!” “Dude, I like what I like. Deal with it.” This response further punches Eric in the gut as everyone laughs nervously.

Some big event comes and Echo is Kimmie’s plus one. Eric doesn’t want to attend it so he stays in the mansion. Echo is feeling the guilt of the situation more with each day that passed. At the event, him and Kimmie have a great time, but when they escape the crowd and are alone, she tries for a kiss. Echo doesn’t proceed. Kimmie is disappointed, but Echo explains.

“I know the real reason you wanted to date me. It’s the same reason you touch my chest so much, why you wanted to see me in a dress, and why you told Eric you like long hair. Kimmie, you like girls.” He steps away from her. “And I can’t be your girlfriend in disguise.”

Kimmie is floored. She begins to cry. Echo is right. She’s a lesbian but she never wanted to accept it. She kept telling herself she’d find the right boy, and when Echo came, it felt so perfect. She thought she could just slip in and pretend that she was straight. But she isn’t.

She apologizes. She says, however, that she truly does like Echo now. Echo sighs and rubs their neck. “You can’t like me Kimmie… I’m not…” Kimmie thinks it through. “But… you were a girl before! The only reason you’re dressed like this is because of the contract!” “Yeaaaah… but I kinda like it now. This feels…. Better. More me.” Echo grins with confidence. “I’m a man now.”

Kimmie takes Echo’s figure in and sighs. “Ew. I can’t be date a man.” They laugh and break up, Echo going back home. Kimmie returns to the party and is spotted by one of Eric’s friends. He asks where Echo is and she tells him everything. Echo is going home, him and Kimmie just broke up. The friend tells Kimmie some comforting words before running away to the hall to call Eric and tell him the good news. Kimmie is available again, and he can be more aggressive this time!

Eric is slumped in the couch after binging Netflix and eating a pint of icecream. When he hears the news, his mind is stuck on only one piece of information. Echo is coming back home. Instead of feeling happy about Kimmie being available again, Eric realizes Echo is coming back after a break up. His worrywart tendencies has him picturing a comedically sobbing Echo, ruthlessly broken up with by Kimmie, wondering how he could continue to live without her. He cleans up the couch and by the time Echo enters, he’s saved him a spot on the couch and his own pint of icecream. Echo laughs but sits right beside him, accepting the comfort, even if Eric doesn’t know the full story. They have a nice night together, and by the morning, Kimmie’s sexuality is revealed thanks to a picture she posted in her social media celebrating with a girl she kissed.

She’s officially out and happier for it. Eric congratulates her when they run into eachother in the hallway. She’s surprised he’s not as sad as she expected him to be, but she’s touched by how genuinely kind he’s being to her. They stay friends, and even get closer thanks to Kimmie now putting her walls down again.

Movin on to another story event, Eric’s mom has been away for most of Echo’s stay, but she comes back. Eric has made it clear that Echo should stay away from her, and never let her know his transition. She somehow finds out thanks to some mishaps anyways. When the contract is revealed, she is ASTOUNDED that her boy would force a GIRL to live as a MAN. She’s putting a stop to this! She takes Echo away for a weekend spa treatment, girling Echo up, talking over him through the whole thing, never listening to his complaints and only reassuring herself that Echo is safe now and free to be pretty and feminine once more! It’s the proper way!

Needless to say Echo is uncomfortable.

The more Eric’s mom talks about herself and her own life, it’s clear that her way of thinking stems from some issues she had as a kid, being forced to work and to give up feminine things, but Echo doesn’t feel like she did at all. And though Echo enjoys some of the spa things, and doesn’t much mind being put in a dress, he just… prefers a suit. Would rather stay at home training with the group. Would rather keep his hair short as opposed to the length Eric’s mom proposes him to grow it at. It’s a bunch of little things, but they culminate in solidifying to Echo… he just wants to stay a boy. He’s not being forced to be one. He genuinely likes it.

When they return from their trip, Echo is in a skirt and heels. He is dolled up with professional make up and styled hair. The group ogles him, but as comments get thrown around about how good Echo looks as a girl, Eric can’t feel the same. He just feels it’s too… off. He doesn’t bring it up, he’s afraid he’ll hurt Echo’s feelings. All his mom’s mutterings got to him, and Eric feels guilty for forcing Echo to live as a man.

During dinner, he reassures his mom and Echo that they can get rid of the contract and Echo can live in their house and attend their school clause free.

Echo stops him right there.

“I don’t want to be a girl. I’m a boy.”

Eric and his mom are confused. They try to reassure Echo, but Echo continues. “No. No offence ma’am, but all weekend, you have talked over me, never listening to what I have to say. I don’t want to be a girl. I am not like you. I do not share your experiences nor your desires. I like being a boy. I like being called a boy. I like dressing like a boy. I want to be known as a boy.”

Echo gets up.

“I’m going to go change now. But before I go, I want to keep the contract. I have no problem with any of the conditions.” Echo looks at Eric and smiles. “I like being a part of the group and competing with you guys.” He’s flustered by his sincerity. Echo leaves. For the rest of the day, Echo is unbothered in his room, but when night comes, Eric goes up to bring him some food.

Echo didn’t really wash off the make up very good (damn that high quality stuff), and his hair is a mess. But he’s in comfortable clothes and he brings in Eric so they can hang. They talk about trivial stuff at first, spend an hour playing a game, and when it’s 3am, Eric gathers the guts to talk about it. That he’s glad Echo stood up for himself, and he sees him as a boy too. Echo bursts into laughter, teasing Eric.

“So that’s what you were so nervous about. I thought you were planning to ask me on a date.” More flustered Eric. “W-Why would I-“ Echo gives him a half hug that stops him, hiding his own blushing face. “Thanks…” Eric hugs him back. It’s yet another sweet moment before they finally get together…. In some other event in the future mwahahaha. Idk, I haven’t decided yet when they confess and actually start going out ;p cries.

Welp, there ya go. This is a story I still cringe at because of how anime it starts but damn these chars got me. I love Echo, Eric and Kimmie ;o; I’m sorry I’m a sucker v-v

5 notes · View notes

ursoself-satisfying · 5 years

Note

do you think eugene is maybe scared of long boat trips? i was thinking about it the other day, maybe he plans on going on holiday with his s/o and the only way to go abroad would be on a boat right? but maybe he would get a little (a lot? im not an expert on this) ptsd while being on the boat and his s/o supporting him but not fully understanding because lets be honest, no-one apart from the soldiers fully understand this sort of stuff, and maybe there's another veteran on-board who helps him?

Before we get into it I wanna say I totally agree n that unless u actually have experienced that ur rly not gonna understand what the person is going thru n this applies to all kinds of trauma but just bc u dont understand doesnt mean u cant do ur best to or that u cant still love support n help them handle it n it doesnt mean they're not gr8tful for ur involvement even if u dont understand,, writing for post war eugene is always tricky cus I dont wanna assume ik how any of this goes or the extent of what it entails i havent done this I've barely done any research its heartbreaking tho n unfair n I just wanted to say all that before u get into this cus it's a combo of both asks but also more of a touchy subject than I feel like I've addressed here so that's just a heads up but enjoy!!

Omg eugene my bby

I def think hes still afraid of boats big time,, so when the two of u decide to go abroad for ur honeymoon it's a big decision for u two to make one w lots of beforehand discussions n considering all ur other options but in the end the push of ur families n the pull of the convenience of a boat eases u both into the decision, even tho nothing about it u kno is going to be easy,, Eugene is p nervous cus I mean the nightmares have lessened n u both have been learning how to handle his flashbacks n the like but u had never tried anything like this yet so on one hand it could be a good time to test the waters but on the other hand neither of u have any idea how itll actually go

Even just in the car on the way there he starts to get shakey n then on the dock it gets a bit worse but ur hands r on him somehow the whole time either locked in his or on his leg or arm or stuck in his pocket n that comforts him, ur touch anchors him n keeps him from drifting to worse thoughts it keeps him thinking about u instead,, its till hard tho just thinking about it being back on that boat forcing himself to remember hes going to France n it's not occupied n hes not alone n hes going to get to see the sights w his wonderful wife n thoroughly enjoy those bright French mornings n that it's going to be quiet, no more bombs or raids or alarms just u n him under thin sheets hot n sticky n just together n safe

But first,, the boat

On the boat? It was rough,, every bit of turbulence n every odd sway made him anxious n as much as u tried to entice him to enjoy more of the boats activities like a cabaret show or even just playing some chess out on the deck n tho u could get him out a few times n he did enjoy himself,, he spent most of his time in the cabin trying to ignore the fact he was on a boat at all,, the rest of his time not being coaxed out by u he spent napping in a deck chair w u often lounging beside him n watching over his sleep carefully, also making sure he didnt burn n lathering her exposed skin in sunblock as much as u could as he slept

U two kept busy in the cabin tho I mean it was ur honeymoon after all ;;;))) so he ravaged u as often as he could bc not only were u a comfort but also a distraction,, u did other things as well tho like laying n listening to ur favourite radio shows or playing guitar to him or sketching him or dancing together or once even doing a silly little fashion show where he def tripped after putting on ur heels

He did have a few attacks tho but u had prepared as best u could n even if some of ur cabin took a beating in an outburst u had always managed to talk him down n he spent a lot of time in ur arms

His breakdowns btw would come suddenly when something would trigger him like a sudden movement or a splash against ur window n then he would get angry n scared n become protective of u until his aggression bubbled over into hot tears drowned out by ur soft words of confirmation trying to tell him u were on a modest cruise liner n u were going to Europe n that the guns n the bombs n the tropical climate were all far away n u would pull him into a cold shower w u n he would often (fuck u hard first then) just cling to u n cry until he could calm down n fall asleep n if he stirred in his sleep u would repeat the process until he could sleep soundly

He was gr8tful to finally be off the boat n back on land tho n once in Paris the two of u could rly enjoy ur honeymoon beginning w breaking in ur hotel bed ;;;)))

But then the two of u got to see the Eiffel Tower n the Seine n the Louvre n Notre dame n it was all so amazing!!!! U spent half the time w ur head in ur sketchbook n he spent all his time taking photos of u w ur head in ur sketchbook lol

The photos were brilliant n sweet n excessive n there were def a few of u bare n freshly fucked (pardon my french) w the Parisian skyline out the window behind u, the morning like shining thru ur messy hair like a halo,, but there were also many of him from the perspective of u kneeling over him n many more of both of u playfully holding up the tower or picnicking in front of a cathedral w u plucking at ur guitar or him w a bottle of wine at his lips

It was all v picturesque n romantic n perfect n u thought he deserved nothing less n he thought the same for u ::""))

U spent about 4 weeks there together n he had throughly used his time to fuck u in every way possible n use every toy u brought with but then it was suddenly time to go home n u were concerned about eugene being back on the boat but he seemed less nervous when u got on n he admitted to feeling a lot better after the first trip n this time he actually went out w u n u played board games w other passengers n danced in the halls n sang w the cabaret n he still sunbathed n napped n made love to u n wrecked ur cabin n u still listened to all ur radio shows n drew n sang but ur lives felt more full somehow after this experience

Oh n u def showed off everything u had bought is Paris n as much as he loved that silk dress on u he loved peeling it off u even more ;;;)))

He rly did feel better when u were finally home to ur little cottage for the first time together as a globetrotting married couple ::"")) he felt better that he hadnt handled it nearly as bad as hed expected n urs n his trip abroad left u feeling loved n cultured n more experienced in life plus u both had taken a huge chance n now u were better for it n felt more capable n confident that he was getting better n it was an affirmation that u would take care of him n that u would always be there for him, just as u had said in ur vows ::""))

He was happy to consummate ur new marriage in ur own bed for the first time tho lol n on top of that gr8 feeling it was just gr8 that he felt less held back w u there w him especially after the boat experience

So yeah a quick note I rly do think he would be terrified of ever stepping foot on a boat again n would refuse it n be vvv adamant about not doing it again for a vvv long time but I think he could be worn down n would EVENTUALLY be ok w it but maybe not this fast n tho I dont feel like I go into much detail here he def has a hard time on the boat as well like hes just agitated the whole time n probably was prescribed some medication for it if just some motion or sea sickness meds n maybe anxiety but i would say it prolly makes him drowsy so hes kinda out of it which keeps him calm but doesnt stop certain flashbacks n maybe he lashes out n hurts someone once in a while cus it's incredibly traumatic returning to that environment but anyway yeah he would be v fidgety n not like it but in this scenario hes willing to take a chance given how well hes been recovering n how much he trusts u n how much u have helped him n the option had pull so that's why but rly I dont think irl he would have gone back on a boat anywhere near that soon but this is romantic fiction so ::))

Also I have a v specific image of who eugene is w if u cant tell lol so I'm sorry for that specificity but I'm so whipped for him n his gal I lov sm I hope u enjoy n guys I'm so motivated to finally write out the storyline I have for him I'm gonna finally get out his fic ok I promise

#she has a voice!!!#joe mazzello #not queen #nut #the pacific #eugene sledge x reader #eugene sledge #anon asks #answered asks #send asks #send me asks #asks #anons #anon me too wow #anon #send me anons #anonymous

14 notes · View notes

inixsis · 5 years

Text

5 years later

Coming back and reading the few posts I had was a bit of a shocker, for many reasons. But im in a position where I really need to express myself again because I dont really have anyone else or any other way. So let the shitshow begin! I dont really know where to begin. I feel like ive grown a lot in some aspects, stayed the same in so many others. Ive definitely stayed the same when it comes to complaining unfortunately... Im well aware i do it, but its like word votmit. I dont string together what im trying to convey in the right way most of the time. Sometimes I swear people have this expectation of me that they put the words in my mouth before i can even finish a sentence. Like please, just let me finish. Anyway. Point blank, ive been an Alcoholic for about 5-7 years now. I dont really remember when it trulyyyy kicked in that i had such a dependency. But its only within the past year that if i dont get my fix, I go into a withdrawal state of shakes, tremors and sweats. i went to hospital about a year ago, so I didnt have a drink for around 12 hours. I was barely able to move. I was shaking so badly I could barely move my muscles or complete basic motor functions. Some mornings after only a few hours without alcohol i can barely type on my keyboard or use my mouse correctly. But with all of this, im still proud at other ways ive progressed. Ive quit marijuana. Ive mostly quit smoking. Ive only had green once in the past 2 years. I didnt have a single cigarette for almost 8 months up until recently and i only buy a pack once in a while. Along with that, I feel like my attitude and the way i address certain things has drastically changed also. Im not nearly as aggressive, paranoid or annoying as I used to be. But its never enough... Essentially im here to cry about how alcoholism has somewhat impacted my relationship, but how it also isnt the main reason its over. Its hard to explain right now heh. All i truely want to do is blame him and my perspectives of why he has started to act like this. Nothing is good enough lately. I can shower him with love, affection, appreiciation and all the space he needs but its not enough. I really dont feel my alcoholism can be the complete blame of our relationship - but definitely some things are to do with it. 1. He knew what he was getting into. And on that note, over 5 years ive done nothing but get better. Especially the past 2 years ive made huge changes whilst he has not. Alcoholism cant be compared to the mistakes he makes, but as a 29 year old he has never left his home, he doesnt pay rent or bills, he has a cushy life where his mother stole 1.2 million and is now in prison for it. But he thinks I would steal money from his account given the chance... 2. I paid for everything for the first 3 years He stayed in my homes non stop, i paid electricity for his pc or to run the aircon, i paid for and cooked 3 meals a day everyday for atleast a few days of every week. I cleaned up after him everytime. in 5 years he has cooked for me once, and by force. He has done dishes for me and bought me takeaway, dont get me wrong. but nothing compared to what ive spent. let alone the green and alcohol he would also consume. But granted he paid alot of fuel whilst i rarely topped him up. 3. Extreme patience with his privacy Theres a certain factor im not going to speak about in this. But ive always been quite upfront with him, never protected my phone or computer around him either. I understood a person needs their space and if he is not willing then thats ok - but only to a point. at 5 years we should be able to share phones. Once i wasnt allowed to hold it to use his flashlight during a power out. thats insane. I went to reddit over this and there were suggestions such as ‘are you clumsy?’ and well... no. he has swerved his car once when i went for his phone to search a location. 4. Games come first Its been a rocky 2 years. Ive asked him to spend more time with me regularly, threatened if he did not take 1 less night a week from raiding im done - and i left. But then his mothers case of theft came in and he was distraight, said he needed me. I couldnt help but give in, so gave him another chance for the sake of moral support. I also very recently came across a chat with some chick online. ‘I guess i havent found my gamer girl yet’ he said. - i am younger, but have been gaming much longer than him and on different platforms - I am the one he had to compete with in WoW - I am the one who taught him many things and showed him all these things about the game - I take a couple years off of certain games because of my anger and suddenly i am no longer a gamer, let alone his girl. Made me sick to the stomach. All ive done is change myself to look towards our future and this is all the shit I get. So heres to the men in my history that may read this - karma came the FUCK back around and truly i hope youre doing well. I think im going to keep on posting again, I need some form of comfort. id like to ultimately turn this into a blog about alcoholism, sobriety and all the things that come with this. I need something to focus on for a bit haha. Best wishes all <3

1 note · View note

kaisteroid-blog · 6 years

Text

ASTROLOGY READING - Jackson Wang 28.03.94

NAME : JACKSON WANG

SEX : M

BIRTHPLACE : Kowloon Tong, Hong Kong

MARCH 28, 1994.

NOTE - I only analyzed up until Mars, the reason for this is because planets after Saturn are all the same for people born in the same generation as him. (These planets take longer to pass from sign to sign because their orbit around the sun is much longer.) I’ll do his planets of Jupiter and Saturn in a separate post !

Sun in Aries - Jackson’s energy will shine through because of his sun in aries placement. Like… this man is bursting with energy once you get to know him.

His ability to socialize and interact also stems from this placement. He’s remarkably outgoing and is basically the life of the party. His fun, charming nature all comes from his sun (+venus which also falls into the same sign). He really tries to make everyone happy in the group through all odds.

Aries can also be known for being competitive and angry some of the time. They also display an exuberance of confidence… which if that doesn’t scream “Jackson” to you, I don’t know what will.

Because he is a fire sign, he’s very independent and though i cannot stress this enough - he simply wants everyone to be happy and enjoy life to the fullest. He also gets bored easily! This is why you constantly may see him doing something, he never seems to settle down and r e l a x. He overworks himself at times to the point of exhaustion, where he has collapsed on stage. Jackson, take a break, god damn.

Moon in Libra - An interesting aspect we have here is that his moon and sun are opposing signs. In many ways this balances out, but the downfall to this is that because Aries and Libra are such people-pleasers, they kind of tend to forget about their own well being. He truly really wants to make people’s days despite what he himself may be going through. He is a fighter however, and anything thrown in his path, he believe he will get through. An optimist at that.

He also strongly believes in equality and justice for all! Hence why we constantly see him being in support of socialist issues, for example, LGBT issues. The fact he had to do a gay kiss for a scene and didn’t see the big deal of it - why people were making such a fuss over a topic.

He merely sees people for who they are, at his core he is a true believer of equality. I feel like in a different life, he would’ve been an activist if not an artist. He really voices his opinion out.

He really is a sunshine who wants to comfort everyone and let them know they’re doing great.

Mercury in Pisces - Very sentimental in the way he talks about things he’s passionate about. Often times you can see this placement of his shine through in his instagram captions about people/things that mean dearly to him.

His emotions really get the best of him when writing lyrics as well. They just really shine through. He wants a message to be sent across to everyone when writing these lines, to have his emotions known. (Though take note that a normal mercury in pisces w a feminine sign will act indecisive with their words, but because he is an aries sun, and libra moon, he’s already very direct, so it cancels the indecisive part of the pisces side in mercury)

Also not to mention, musicians are known to have mercury in water/earth signs (or signs that are known to have wisdom), as their emotions and messages are more notable through writing.

As for Jackson because both his sun and moon are masculine signs, he finds it very hard to express his feelings when you put him on the spot. He’s known to be such an upbeat, hilarious person so when someone asks him to be sentimental for a second, he has to take a couple moments to respond back and in a way “shut off” that side of him.

Because of this placement, if one of his members feels down, he will very much likely handle the situation calmly and softly. Careful of every word he picks out to say to them, as he knows they’re probably going through a difficult time. It pains him to see his members sad.

Venus in Aries - A reaaaaaaaallllllyyy passionate feisty lover. When he falls in love, he likely falls hard. He wants a lover who’s similar to him in a way -- adventurous, determined, and confident. However, at the same time, he’s closed off to love. If any of you recall him saying the one time he fell in love, the girl broke his heart by running off with some other guy (correct me if I’m wrong please, got7 aren’t in my top 3 so ^^)

A relationship with him will oftentimes feel childlike, like a first love almost. His relationships are in a bubble of fun and spontaneity. He enjoys his freedom and if his partner keeps him on a leash, he will likely end the relationship. This placement also explains his hella flirty side like goddamn boi keep it down.

However, venus doesn’t necessarily have to mean your love to others. It can definitely display the love for yourself! (which Jackson makes us very aware of how full of himself he is).

He’s clearly very confident, and shows a lot of love for himself, which could result into why he thinks he doesn’t need a relationship. (other than the fact that lol he doesn’t have time and he’s too busy). He believes it’s fine to be content with you and yourself only. We all don’t need someone in our lives, and that’s ok!

Not only that, but along with this placement, he is very grateful and appreciative for all that he’s been given.

Mars in Pisces -

I actually have this placement, so this would be easier for me to explain. Mars in Pisces signifies that when angered or upset, Jackson is probably not as aggressive and straight forward as he usually appears. The usual way we see him “upset” when the other members is when he’s joking around, and he acts like he is, but of course we all know he isn’t actually upset. Rather I feel like when he really feels angry, he’s the type to bottle it up, or react passive-aggressively.

If any of you recall, a long time ago, he commented on a markson account/post on instagram saying “Please stop.” -- which was out of nowhere. He didn’t say why, rather before he’s mentioned you could ship him with any member of got7 and he couldn’t care less. So why the sudden comment? Lots of people say that it was b/c he didn’t want to be tagged in it - which is understandable. But note he didn’t say “Please stop [reason]” or “Can you stop tagging me,” rather a cryptic passive-aggressive “please stop.”

Additionally, on his instagram posts of his raps, if you squint hard enough, he’s angry over something, but it comes across so passive-aggressive.

He’s likely indecisive, and doesn’t know what he wants to gain out of life, as a lot of people who hold this placement usually don’t have a set plan or final destination. Rather, he lets life take him in for a ride whether he’s prepared or not.

-fin-

hi guys this is my FIRST kpop reading that im going to be posting, so of course by all means it will not be my best reading!! if you have any comments on my reading don’t hesitate to msg me on my main acc @kookaiinee

let me know who you guys think i should do next! it could be a person or a ship. (: (excluding bts as plenty of blogs already cover them)

241 notes · View notes

hellish-summoner · 5 years

Text

She Who is Bound to Silence

Heca isn’t too sure about how to feel about this Corrin she summoned.

On one hand, she looks like Crescent, the Corrin she had already befriended, just with a different outfit fit for a songstress.

On the other hand, she hasn’t heard a single word from the dragon, and she has such a sad look in her eyes.

Instead of trying to dig for information, Heca decides to give the golden dragon some space, makes sure she has a comfortable room to retreat to. Even then, no one can get the Corrin to say a word, and when they get her to write instead, she writes few words, sticking to basic things, like asking for tactics or for directions to places.

After a couple of weeks of this, Heca finds a lone mask sitting outside in the gardens many heroes relax in, close to a pond, likely accidentally forgotten earlier in the day when she called all of her heroes for a meeting to discuss how to defeat the King of Muspell. The Manakete looked over the mask, noting that it was of a fox, and was painted a deep blue with gold and white details.

“This.....is likely missed; but whose mask is this? No one here wears a fox mask...” Heca mumbled, gently putting the mask into one of her cloak pockets before continuing on with what she was actually doing; someone would come looking for it eventually and likely ask her about it, right...?

-----------------

The Golden Dragon had gone to the meeting and then left to go back to her own room without noticing, but very quickly afterwards, she realized that she was missing a special mask she normally kept in her room. She mentally scolded herself for even taking it out, now that she lost it; even though she took it out with her to the gardens simply because she wanted to take a walk down memory lane....

She made an annoyed sound once she actually checked the garden, not finding any sign of the missing mask, and just heading back to her room. She promised Akagi that if she gave her that mask, that she wouldn’t lose it.... Well, at least the kitsune can’t find out while the dragon is still here.

Speaking of Akagi....The dragon quickly made sure her door was locked before digging in her drawers for a unfamiliar device to all but her and the summoner; a phone. She could generally get lucky enough to be able to send a couple of messages to her world. She needed to.

She was a commander after all.

She sat down on her bed and began to check to see what messages those under her gave her during the day. They all knew she left a couple of people in charge, but she was still messaged plenty during the day. She smiled at the messages though, despite the fact it meant she had to think over this sort of thing without physically seeing it; partly she liked being relied on. Partly she liked the fact she got a lot of them to call her something over than ‘Commander’.

‘Vallite, we are running low on skill books; should we order more?’ A yes for sure; with a side note to make sure they also make sure the equipment and food stocks are at good levels.

‘Should we scout out multiple areas?’ Of course; she makes a note for them to check where they recovered Akagi at least once in case anything new can be recovered.

‘Should we continue with the retrofits for Laffey and Ayanami?’ Oh, she must ask how long until those are complete; those two are some of the best ships she has recovered, so she does want to make sure she can help them become strong.

‘Vallite’, as her allies and friends back home called her, just continued to smile at all the messages; besides the questions given, the chat server they used to communicate also had a channel just to post supportive messages for each other; a fair number were encouragement for Vallite since she was stuck in an unfamiliar place, but a lot were also for the different groups, or ‘fleets’, going out.

She would of stopped from reading to continue her search for that missing mask if she didn’t notice she had a direct message from what was basically her current flagship, Amagi. So instead, she decided to see what she wanted first before leaving her phone alone again.

‘Crescent, are you alright? The others told me that you haven’t been talking much.’ Ah, she was just making sure the dragon was alright; it made Vallite happy to know someone wanted to make sure she was alright.

‘I’m fine, Amagi. I’m getting more quiet as I feel like you guys are settling into a routine while I’m still gone. And I have been busy. But I’ll be fine. Feel free to message me if you want, my dear friend.’

She waited for the kitsune to respond for a moment, before setting her phone aside to continue her search, missing the message that was in reply to her.

‘Do make sure to rest, Crescent; don’t want to end up dying before you can see my sister again. And don’t worry, we have gotten a good routine set up for until your return. Hopefully you don’t end up making anyone wait for you, given that you have us check for where Kaga might be recovered sometimes.’

----------

Heca had retired to her room, writing down some possible new spells onto pieces of paper for later testing, with the lost fox mask sitting on her desk alongside all her papers The Hellish Summoner’s focus only broke when she heard a knock on her door, followed by silence for a few moments, and then another knock.

“The door’s unlocked! Come in!”

The summoner didn’t even look up for her papers as she heard her door open and close, nor as she heard footsteps. Only when she saw a gloved hand reach out and take the mask she had sitting on her desk did she turn to look at the Hero who entered. The Corrin herself was looking over the mask, before looking....relieved.

“Is that yours?”

The Corrin nodded, turning to leave now that she found what she was looking for, before feeling the Summoner grab her arm.

“Hey, stay for a bit; I’m curious about you. And don’t worry; I got paper.”

The dragon stood there for a moment, before nodding and taking a seat on Heca’s bed, accepting the paper and pen the Summoner handed her.

“Now.....What’s your name?”

‘Crescent Shimizu. But many call me Vallite, which I would prefer.’

“Alright.....Nice to finally know a name for you, Vallite. Now....Why are you so quiet?”

‘I can’t speak without hurting my throat. It’s always been like that; I envy Lady Crescent and her ability to speak, but I’m used to finding other ways to get my point across.’

“Oh.....That explains a lot. Hopefully your fellow Heroes don’t mind it much; you might get along with a friend of mine, he likes being quiet, so maybe you can find a way to do a silent conversation with him. Now....What’s with the mask?” Heca gestured to the fox mask Vallite had in her lap. “I have never seen you wear anything like that.”

The dragon stared at the paper for a while before starting to write finally. ‘It’s a memento of someone I loved. I never got a chance to tell her such while I still could, but one of her sisters told me to never lose this mask so I always have a way to remember her. Her sister said that she thinks she loved me back, but I sadly could never ask the woman herself.’

“Oh, a lost love......I hope you find her again; maybe I’ll summon her, and then you can give her a big ol’ smooch.”

‘No?? Kaga would likely punch me if I just suddenly kissed her! Though, giving her a kiss isn’t bad sounding...’

“I was kidding, don’t worry, but you really should consider admitting your feelings if you see her again.”

‘Not sure on that; Kaga was always wanting to be strong, and felt that if you wanted something, you better make sure you are strong enough to earn it. Not sure how strong she would see someone who can’t speak at all.’

“....Girl. You are as physically strong as Crescent. And seem to be a full dragon; I think you are plenty strong enough to sweep that woman you love off her feet. And you can turn into a dragon; if your human form ain’t strong enough to impress, turn into a dragon and show off your power.”

Vallite let out a weak laugh before writing her response. ‘I don’t think that is how kitsunes court each other, but ok then.’

“Oh hell yeah, that is how you impress a beast; you show that you are strong, that you would be a good mate and would make good offspring. Appeal to her primal side as well as her gentler side.”

‘Yeah, I think I will stick to my own way, but thank you, Heca.’

“Oh, calling me just Heca?”

‘I hate being called ‘Commander’ back where I’m from, I assumed you hated being called Summoner. Please, do not think I’m disrespecting you.’

Heca just gets a big grin on her face and laughs. “Oh, I love it! A mutual respect between leaders! Wait, if you are a commander......Say, can you provide me any tips?”

‘I don’t want to keep you distracted for long; or use up too much of your paper or ink.’

“It’s fine! Besides, I can keep them as notes after.”

‘If you say so. Well....My first tip is to make sure you get to know all who are under you at least a bit, and make sure they know that you are there as both a commander and friend; at least, that’s how I handle my fleets. My allies might be seen as weapons by some, but first and foremost, before they are my allies in battle, they are people just like myself.’

“Oh, making sure you know how your allies are as people!”

The two spend a good part of the night talking about how to lead effectively....

--------

A few days later....

Heca was making a quick summon just at random, wanting to see if she got lucky. “Ok, how about......this one; hopefully I get one of those beasts finally.....”

The Summoner loaded the orb into the summongun, before firing towards the stone altar to start the ritual, noticing the stone pulse before glowing. “That’s a good sign that I might of-”

The Summoner was quickly knocked over by someone just punching her at full force, before looking at the summoned Hero.

She noticed the more modern outfit, and the glare the woman bore, likely out of aggression. This might be rough......

But also she noticed.....Two white fox ears......nine white fox tails behind the woman.

A fox mask; different from the one Vallite had, but still a fox mask.

This was a kitsune, or specifically a Nine-Tails. Maybe also the one Vallite loved.

............But first, Heca would have to get this fox to obey long enough to listen to an explanation.

The fact the kitsune punched her again at full force when she tried to approach told the Summoner that this would be a long process.

#summoner Heca #Vallite #those are the only characters that interact in this that are confirmed #but the third one isn't hard to figure out #also rip Heca's pride; it was lost to a punch happy kitsune #I should make a writing tag.....

0 notes

sleepy90 · 7 years

Text

Double edge cheating scandal

I was in my mid 30s I’ve been married for about 5 years not sure why but lately my wife been acting funny. She been complaining alot even though I’ve been doing all I can but it just seem like I can’t keep here happy like I use to back in the day. Didn’t know what was wrong. Was she losing interest in me.. was the sex horrible.. I had no idea what to so I called my boy Orlando up.

Hey homie I need some advice, if my wife is losing interest in me what can I do to spice it up? Orlando is a good friend we've been friends all our life his dad was my dad and my mom his mom. We were more than friend basically brothers.

Orlando was older than me though and been through so much he got married at a young age roughly around 20 years old.

Well joe why don’t you ask her?

I want to ask her but it always turn into an argument and I’m so strong headed I gotta say what’s on my mind and then once I speak my mind she get quiet and stop talking to me for a whole week. This marriage is becoming a nightmare.

He said Bro what have I been telling you since we were young.... you cannot please a women! You can only please yourself.

Dude that doesn’t make sense! I don’t understand. I said.

Well let me put it to you like this! If you go out trying to give a child everything what they want when you take them to the store you’ll be broke right.

Yea I guess, I said in a confusing way as to where is he goin with this…orlando always had wired ways of explaining things and it never make sense at first but after giving it some thought it sinks in.

Same thing with the wife you’ll be unhappy trying to please a women you can only please them by giving them the basics and making sure you’ll happy in the end too. there has to be a compromise from both parties not just one. I know you want to speak your mind but communication is key and pride come before destruction. look Im no preacher but uh you better shut up or uh it’s going to be a long drive to the court house.

Yea you right I love her I think I’ll bring home some flowers and sit her down and just let her vent it all out to me. Your analogy are wired but I guess I get I’ll hit you up later let you know how it go.

Aight peace homie he said.

I went to a flower store after work and to walmart to get her favorite chocolate candy And came home waiting patiently for my wife to get off I usually get off a 6 she get off at 7. An hour doesn’t seem long but this particular day it every min felt like 15 mins. I tried everything to pass time tv walking cleaning and after all that only 45 mins past.

So I close my eyes and laid there the remaining time. When I open up my eyes it was 715 I decided to call my wife to see where she was at.

Hey beautiful are you on your way home. I got something for you? It’s a surprise

Hey I’ll be there in 5 mins I’m getting some gas. What you get me?

Now you know I can’t tell you that.

Ok I’ll see you in a few let me hurry up.

Ok love you bye. She never says i love you back and that was one of the things that worried me she alwsys said it in the beginning now its seem like a one way love I rush around the house making sure everything was spit clean and top notch.

She walked in the door. I nervously walk up to her gave her a kiss and gave her the flowers.

Aww baby thanks…

No problem I need to show you that I still love you and how blessed and lucky I am to have you. Also I want to do something to night if you can give 15 mins of your time.

And what might that be. She said looking at me.like what I’m up too.

I pulled up the chair and told her to sit down got out my notepad and told her I want you to tell me any and everything about how you feel I feel like I’m failing as your husband and I don’t like this feeling so before I go another let’s work it out.

Joe. I’ve been with you this long what is me tell you gonna change anything.

Because I know. I can be a difficult person to deal with. Ummm she said. Hand me that note pad. I will write everything that’s wrong and post in on the bedroom.door and you can look at it when ever you’ll fucking up.

She took about 15 mins to come up with a short list of things I need to do.

1. Communications your communication sucks you always cut me off when I’m speaking when are you going to listen. 2. Quality time. You don’t have a work.life balance you work to damn much. 3. You to cheap when we go out.whats the point of working if to cheap to enjoy it. 4. Your sex is starting to get weak. It’s boring and you only last 15 mins and I never get to him anymore.

Here You go!

She handed me the paper and boy was I amaze I mean don’t get me wrong I figure the first three but the last one had me confuse. I thought I laid the pipe down well.

I didn’t say nothing I decide to tackle that problem first starting friday.

It’s been a slow week anyway so I decided to come home early to surprise wifey with her favorite meal from her favorite restaurant olive garden.

But when I walked in the door I heard a man voice. And my wife. Voice.

They were in the back fucking. Apparently he was hitting it so good they didn’t hear me come in I stood there shock like what should I do.

The OG in me was like oh hell no someone is about to get shot by my new ruger sr9c. But then I said to myself I need to do something different something bold something that my wife will never expect. I knew exactly what to do. I bought my ruger in with me just in case.

Walked in….

Oh shit the look on their face was priceless

I pull the gun up don’t you move… I swear to god I’ll shoot your dick off.

Baby I’m so sorry I didn’t think you’ll be home so early!

Shut up! I don’t wanna hear that shit. You caught.

The man look scared out his ass his dick went so soft it looked like a pussy. On the insides i was cracking up. Look man I didn’t know please don’t shoot me. Shut up! I said and as fuck that I’m dealing with this shit. This is what we gonna do you gonna keep fucking her and I’m gonna watch and you better so it good or ima pop a cap in your ass…

Both of them looked at me like I was fucking crazy. Maybe I was but I knew killing them isn’t worth it and I know sometimes.you have to be insane.

I grab my chair and told them to keep going Put my gun in my lap as I sat there naked. Watching.

He nervously started eating my wife pussy in a circular motion occasionally fingering her and teasing her. My dick suddenly got hard.

I thought to myself what does this guy got that I don’t have, at the same time I had to stay focus and think about my next move so I wanna shoot this guy or do I want to do something extreme and crazy and join in. Fuck it. I went in to the kitchen his my baby and took about 3 shots of pure moonshine. I went back in as they kept going nervously wondering what I’m doing. I didn’t tell you to stop boy! Keep going dammit. Boy the look on his face was priceless eating that pussy like a bitch. So jane do you like the way he eat your pussy? She Stare at me scared not knowing if I was going to kill his and her or what my next move is. Nowadays people were getting killed left and right for things like this. I can’t hear you… don’t be quiet now remember the paper… I pointed to the wall.. You said communicate.. now answer me! She studer with her words and they were very sluggish. Yyyeeesss! She said I didn’t get mad what’s the point apparently something must be catching her attention from this guy. I got undressed and pulled my dick out and shoved it down her mouth aggressively How bout now You like sucking my dick and ate st the same time. She glazed at me just wanting to be submissive at this point. I pounded her mouth with my dick pulling her hair and slapping her in a aggressive but sexual manner. You like this shit don’t you jane! Yes daddy… I’m so sorry I choked her i didn’t ask for your apology I asked if you like this shit?! Yes daddy! Now I’m not an abuser but my wife is a little wild maybe this is what she meant by excitement. I told the boy to stop eating her pussy, she’s bout to get this dick. I told her to suck his dick while I fuck her. I slid my dick in. MY GOD! It was so wet who would have thought that a pussy can get his wet. I had her in the doggy style position just so I can smack her ass while she suck his dick. I was smacking that ass so hard. This not my idea of releasing my anger but it sure was helping for the time being.. I grab her hair tilt her head back and told him to starting fucking my wife mouth. He looked at me hesitant. And speechless. I said..looked you either fuck her or I’ll shoot you, you in my house motherfucker now do as I say!. Have you been drinking? my wife asked me. I didn’t tell you to speak! I smacked her ass. I promised my wife I’ll ease off the moonshine for a while because it makes me a little out of character sometimes and amplified my emotions that I was currently in.fuck that shit. I didn’t give a fuck right now. I pound that pussy while she was sucking his dick. I don’t like the way your pussy feel you need to get wetter. She looked at me in amazement. Speechless cause she had his dick and my dick at the same time and never expected this shit. Truth was that pussy was so wet I didn’t want to stop.but i had to cause I don’t want to nut prematurely. So I stop told him to stop as well. Now i want you to suck both of us off. He stood next to me scared like a little bitch. He was still halfway hard. Bitch ass boy! I thought to myself.. look if you don’t get hard and start fucking like a man ima shoot your dick off.. I don’t feel comfortable no more man.he said Let me get this straight you feel comfortable walking in my house fucking my wife while I’m gone but now I’m here it’s a different story. Maybe my ruger can ease your “uncomfortableness” Nooooo that’s not necessary I’ll fuck your eife please don’t kill me. He close his eyes. My wife looked at me. I looked back and told her if you say anything I’ll smack you so hard your pussy will start dripping.. She just started sucking our going back and forth. I glaze at the light. The way she was sucking my dick it felt like I was in heaven talking to Joseph or Adam or someone. I knew it wasn’t earth. I told her to spit on it. She spat on my dick. Not suck his like that and jack mines. She was really enjoying this I look at her pussy she started creaming and dripping cum all over the bed i wanted that shit. But then I said no that’s to easy. I gotta be insane but different You want some dick jane!? Yes daddy she replied. Who you want to fuck you,? I asked I want you… Good! I want you to fuck my wife boy and you better fuck her good too.the moment you get soft I will shoot you. Whatever you say just don’t kill me. He barely had his eyes on me and barely open.I guess the sight of me intimidated him. He laid my wife down spreader her legs put one leg on his shoulder and slowly put it in, i stood there watching, Plotting my next move. She grab his arm as he begin to pound my wife pussy. Ahhh shit hmmmm. Damn It’s so good. If i stood here and watch i was going to go insane so I reach Into the drawer and grab the anal plug that we never used My wife wanted to do anal at one time I wasn’t really trying to do that shit, pussy just feel so good. I reach over trying not to intervene to much.i slowly plug her butt. he was hitting it so good. As I put it in all I could hear Was oh shit oh shit..yes yes yea. As I put it half way in she squirted all over my face and his dick. It didnt faze me, maybe because of the alcohol. I kept going in and out with the plug. Oh my god oh my god don’t stop! I love this shit keep going put it in my ass and fuck my pussy harder. My wife yelled. Damn I don’t remember this side of my wife. I didn’t know who i was with anymore. I kept going as fast as I could she squirted again and again. You want to taste his dick while I fuck you next. What ever you want daddy I wanna please you. We switch position I turned her side ways it was my favorite position I can choke her smack that ass grab that hair and play with the clit. I put my dick in and immediately started pounding the pussy I took my left hand and started playing with her clit it was so sensitive my right hand was grab her hair. I told her to suck his dick til he cum. You wanna cum on my wife don’t you boy. Dude you’ll crazy I form wanna do that. He replied to bad you don’t have a choice I want you to play with her nipples and then I want you to nut on them. He grab my wife tits hand shaking like he was a diabetic. He started squeezing one nipple and rubbing the other taking his index and middle finger and put it in his mouth and slowly rubbing and squeezing her nipple. I could feel my wife cumming after he did that. All her juices were coming out on top of my dick. I told him I want him to cum. it was time to put an end to this i could feel the moonshine disappearing and i can’t guarantee his safety if i can’t feel this alcohol. He looked at me like i was crazy i told him relax close your eyes cause if you don’t do it Ima shoot you I never threaten someone so much but hell the man is in my house and I’m a criminal defense attorney so I know how to get away with murder. of course I’m not going to murder him but he don’t know that. I chose my wife while she suck his dick smacking her ass and playing with her clit. She begin to get wetter and wetter trying to push me back with her hand. I grab her and pin them down on her back. Holding it with my right arm and smack her ass. you better not stop me! I said. I rub on her clit as I slowed down a little wanting to make sure I feel that pussy. I’m bout to cum oh shit the man said. my wife lifted up her chest as he busted a nut all over her tits. Keep sucking his dick i told her. She lick the rest of the nut out his dick swallowing it like it’s no tomorrow. Kept going as I sped up. I could feel her pussy tighten up on my dick that’s how I knew it was good it begin to feel like the first time we fuck. I haven’t felt it like this since our first time. I kept going i felt the g spot I tap it with my dick her pussy push me put as she squirted on me I jumped back in i begin to lose feeling in my leg as was about to cum. I look at her are you ready jane. Yes nut inside me baby let it all out. I could feel my muscle tight up throughout my body as I kept going as fast as my body would let me She moan so loud . Oh shit yes uh yah uh. She said. Her thighs tighten up as I gave It a few more pounding in her pussy as the walls grip my dick I slowly came inside my wife I was cumming so hard. i could see she had her mouth wide open and she was squeezing the boy dick so hard he had to back up. I kept going cause it turns me on when I nut inside and see her cum and my cum coming out slowly at the same time as I pull out. I went fast as I could because I knew my dick would eventually go soft.. She was still moaning not evening realizing it’s over. I pulled out as slow as I could my dick was white cover it my cum and hers. While we were finishing up the boy done snuck and put his cloths back on. I didn’t even notice Hey I didn’t tell you can leave boy where you going. Look man I gotta get home to my ol lady.. it wasn’t suppose to happen like this. Oh shit you married! you lying cheating motherfucker! You got five seconds to get out my house or ima shoot your ass. 1, 2, 5. I chase his ass out the door if I ever see you again it won’t be pretty. I yelled out the front door. That motherfucker ran so fast it made usane bolt look like a turtle. I went back to my wife told her dinner is on the table. We’ll discuss this later I’m going to sleep. Baby I’m sorry. She looked at me

0 notes