#oh its just too complex to put to words goodbye forever

[ohsleepie]

The prince and his Physician. A role-reversal au based on a dream I had that I wanted to draw something for. More ramblings under the cut

In this au, there is a kingdom of men where the briar valley once stood. Silver, the heir to this kingdom, has been the only member of the royal family for centuries, the result of a curse that causes him to die before he's old enough to ascend to the throne and reincarnate days after his passing. Silver's immortality was once a symbols for the kingdom's permanence, but the repeated death of their monarch every two decades or so has left the citizens with perpetual, generational sorrow with seemingly no solution as no one besides Silver was alive when the curse was placed.

A few centuries after Silver was born and it was believed the last full-blooded fae in briar valley had either abandoned the land or died, a draconian fae child is found in the brambles. This fae, given the name Malleus, was brought to the kingdom at the request if the prince and raised as part of the royal court with the express purpose of becoming the royal physician/chemist. It is believed that Silver's curse, as everlasting as it seems, was placed on him by a fae with extreme magical prowess and if anyone has a chance of breaking it, it's another fae. The kingdom believes that Malleus will be able to break the death curse and allow Silver to become their immortal king.

However, Silver has other plans for his chemist. From an early age, Silver requested that Malleus use his talents to find a different kind of solution to his curse that he can never tell anyone. He wants Malleus to find a way to stop his reincarnations entirely and let him unburden his people with the monarchy. Whether to fulfill the request of the kingdom he calls home, or the prince that took him in is in Malleus' hands.

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #silver vanrouge #fanart #my art #illustration #fantasy #listen im not saying this idea is GOOD not at all its kinda dumb. but thinking about malleus and silver and who is actually protecting who #this idea kinda plays offa that thought. theyre in service to eachother theyre bonded theyre dedicated and invested in eachothers wellbeing #choosing to weave their lives together despite the entanglements of their histories they WANT to be bonded #brothers but not exactly its its FRATERNAL it is woven theyre best friends but not #oh its just too complex to put to words goodbye forever #prince and physician au

[wallwriterstuff]

The Good I Come Home To ||Leon S. Kennedy x Female!Reader|| Part 1

Warnings: Angsty, PTSD Leon being very jumpy and shell-shocked, mentions of sex. 

Words: 3318

Summary: Originally posted to my Archive of Our Own Account. 

Part 2 can be found here

Leon has kept it very casual with you for months, seemingly oblivious of the growing feelings you harbour. You have no idea just how badly it hurts him to leave you every time until he tries to cut you out of his life completely. You have other ideas. You just have to persuade Leon they're the right ones.

Leon S. Kennedy was a complicated man in many respects, but it was easy to unravel all those complex layers if you started looking at his core values, his sense of purpose. To serve, to protect. Leon was built to be the bodyguard of humanity, the first line of defence between unimaginable horror and the things he loved. Every experience had moulded him into this hard shell of a man, so far from the one people used to know. It had been interesting, really, to see an old friend from the Police Academy approach him and see just how different they had turned out. They both had the eyes of experience anybody in the force acquired over time, but Leon’s were sterner, like an unbreakable stone as opposed to ice you could chip away at and eventually shatter. This old friend of his had a small-town job and apple pie life. He had the white picket fence and the wife who kissed him when he came home to freshly made dinner. His children were doing well at school.

Leon had listened like his life was a whole other world away. It was visible in his eyes, though he carefully kept it off his face, that the comparison between each man actually disturbed him. You hadn’t meant to see of course. It was pure coincidence you’d happened to be in the supermarket, walking down that same aisle. His old friend had hit the barricade you so often hit when you asked. You’d stopped questioning it after a few months of back and forth and the looming threat of losing him became a dark and unbearable burden.

“So er, heard about the huge explosion at Raccoon. Where’d they place you after that?”

“Nowhere. I work for the government now.”

“Oh damn. FBI?”

“Something like that.”

His job was the complicated topic. Classified and bad enough to put a certain brand of darkness behind his eyes when you asked, it was  best left untouched by your hands because it was hidden beneath the many layers of the man you’d only ever been allowed to scratch the surface of – literally and figuratively. Beyond his core values, the simplicity of Leon S. Kennedy lay in his needs. He was a flesh and blood man after all. He was guaranteed to need to eat, to do laundry, to shower, to relieve himself. These simple needs were what made him somewhat predictable to you. On his best days, when he text you days or hours before, you were almost guaranteed to be wined and dined. Okay so the wine and dine option was sometimes more like beer and take-out pizza but it was always paid for by him if you bought the alcohol.

When he was feeling a little less than okay, you’d get no outright statement of his desire to see you, but he’d hedge around the topic and wait for you to ask him, like he was afraid to be a nuisance. You’d only get this awkward and prompting behaviour from him an hour or two before he showed up which left you little time to prepare, but a quick shower was always on the cards. In his worst moments, he’d give no warning and simply show up at your house with smouldering eyes that demanded your attention and everything else you had to give him. God help you, you always gave him everything. As simple as his needs were, as his feelings on the matter appeared, yours were much more complicated. Leon S. Kennedy had made it clear from the start when he met you at the bar that fateful night, all chiselled jaw and playful eyes, that nothing serious was to come of this.

It had progressed to a proper agreement when you both seemed to just keep running into each other. You were free to date, if you so pleased, and he’d stop showing up. He’d be gone like dust in the wind, untraceable and impossible to bring back. You didn’t want that. Until the day either of you became tied down you had agreed you were exclusive. You sated each other only. It was hard to keep to that promise all the time when he was away for long periods, but you remained true to your word anyway, and that was how it had stayed for a solid eight months. Leon came back to a bed you kept free just for him and left in the morning like it was no more than a pit-stop on a long and winding road.

You suspected he wasn’t proud of it. You thought sometimes you could see something softer in his eyes, something that made you think he wished for something more than he was already giving you. There were moments his eyes lingered when he said goodbye, times his hands stayed on you a little longer than they usually did. On rare occasions, when he was just a bit too drunk after what you guessed was a bad job, you let him sleep it off with his arms around you and listened to the whimpers in his sleep with an aching heart. Leon consistently let you have his body, gave you the briefest glimpses at the big heart he held so carefully hidden away, but never once did he let you into his mind. As much as you loved being with him, you had never truly been with him at all. You’d never truly connected with him beyond anything physical. It pained you to know you never would. You cared for him too much. You saw the deep pain he carried with him everywhere, and you’d never be able to alleviate that load because he wouldn’t let you.

You had to pause the TV to be sure you’d actually heard anything at all, but when you heard the noise again it was stronger, bolder. Knocking. Glancing at the clock, you turned the TV off with a frown. There weren’t many people who would come knocking at this late hour, and you didn’t know if your heart was in it tonight to let him in when he would forever keep you out. As if on cue, when you opened the door to a dripping wet Leon, thunder rumbled and rattled the open window in the corridor of your apartment block. A small puddle of water had formed on the windowsill, dripping in as the harsh rain battered the glass. Leaving your door propped with the door stop you kept nearby for moments like these, you crossed to the window to close it and lock out the weather. You felt sullen enough without the storm clouds invading your house.

“Leon if you’re here to drink that’s okay but I’m not really up for-“ you cut yourself off, uncertain all of a sudden as to what it was he was here for. His needs were always so simple, the looks and actions associated with them something you had come to learn to recognise without much conscious thought. This was entirely new. Those piercing blue eyes were sullen, fighting between being as hard as sapphire and as soft as calm ocean waves. What was frightening was the depth of the ocean you saw. It was like staring into an abyss of torment. Red-ringed and with whisky on his breath, it didn’t take a genius to realise Leon had been crying and was in fairly bad shape. Hair soaked and plastered to his forehead, he stared at you through those horribly complex eyes, his mouth half open like he wanted to say something but couldn’t force the words out. He was pale, breaths even but heavy, like he had to physically remind himself to huff out each one.

Wordlessly, you took him by the hand. His skin was freezing to the touch and you guessed the faithful jacket had done little to keep the bitter cold from seeping into his exposed skin. Your theory was proven right when his cheeks were just as cold to the touch.

“I…” you thought he might say more but it was like watching a caveman learn to talk. There were only sounds, no words. He was usually very skilful with his tongue but tonight those talents were nowhere to be found. Pushing his jacket from his shoulders you hung it to dry over the back of your sofa, hoping the radiator would do its job and leave it toasty for him when he inevitably put it on to leave you again. You ignored the stinging in your chest at the thought. Leon didn’t need you to be petty right now. Truthfully, you were frightened. Leon’s carefully constructed composure had been shattered by something and you didn’t think you wanted to know what was strong enough to shatter this man’s rock hard exterior and cut him so deeply. He stood dumbly in your hallway, and you gently pushed him to the edge of the sofa to take off his shoes so they wouldn’t traipse water into your home.

“Shhh Leon, just come with me.” You coaxed him back onto socked feet, leading him down the hall to your bathroom.

“No…no Y/N I, I don’t…” he swallowed.

“Do you trust me Leon?” you asked him, keeping your voice gentle like you were cajoling a wild animal into eating from your palm. Leon nodded without question and you smiled slightly. “Then just follow for me now.” You kicked open your door and led him to the edge of the tub, grabbing a towel from the shelving units there and placing it on the sink.

“What are you doing?” he could barely speak above a whisper, looking confused and upset and lost all at once.

“I’m going to run you a nice hot bath before you catch your death. I don’t know how long you were in the rain for Leon but you’re frozen to the bone.” You said calmly, putting the plug in the tub and turning on the tap for the hot water. Leon didn’t answer, merely watched you with the eyes of a man so lost in trauma he couldn’t find his way back to the surface world and make sense of the happenings around him. While you waited for the water to turn steamy, you rubbed at his hair with the towel in your hand to dry it. You knew something was incredibly wrong when he let you mess it up like that. There were very few instances you were allowed to touch his hair and you had to always, always comb it back into place or suffer the consequences. Occasionally, you took a break to fill the tub with some of your prized bath oils. Lavender, camomile, jasmine, all your favourite scents from a beautiful kit a colleague had bought you as part of secret Santa last year.

He didn’t comment as the room filled with intoxicating, relaxing scents, nor when you checked the temperature again and told him he could get in when he was ready. He held the towel in both hands, staring at the cotton as if it might hold some answers.

“Thank you.” He mumbled. You nodded once.

“Have you eaten anything yet?” you asked him. He nodded once, but he didn’t meet your gaze. He was lying you were sure. “Okay. Take as long as you need in here, I’ll be about when you feel ready to see me alright?” you promised, leaning up to kiss his cheek softly. Your lips lingered a little too long, but Leon didn’t move away. He closed his eyes as if the contact was all he had wanted and more. As the door closed behind you you heard the soft, muffled sob he tried so hard to bury in the towel, and your heart broke a little more. Something had shattered Leon S. Kennedy and it didn’t sit well with you at all to see him this vulnerable. He needed the space right now to get his mind back in order but once he did, when he was ready to face you, you weren’t sure you’d get an explanation from him. He’d shut down every time you’d ever asked for one before.

He’d woken screaming one night, lashing out so violently that if you had been sat upright there’d have been no way to avoid his fist and he’d have knocked you out cold. When you tried to ask what was wrong, he’d simply snapped at you to leave him be and left your apartment so fast there could have been a fire under his ass. So, what did you do? Did you just not even try? He hadn’t made a move on you, had specifically said no when he saw you heading in the direction of the bedroom. But if he wasn’t here for sex what was he here for? It only added to your anxiety that you really had no clue what he wanted if it wasn’t your body he’d come for, and though part of you thought that should make you angry, another part of you hoped that that meant it was something more that he was after this time. The kind of more you wanted.

No. You had to try for him. You couldn’t let him go on like this. He didn’t have to fight the war in his head alone, not when you were here. At least, if he wanted to go it alone, he could have someone stable waiting with a safety net if he stumbled. For now you’d let him linger and soak in the tub, and you’d make the most out of the ingredients you had in the fridge. If he stayed, he could eat it off a plate. If he didn’t…well, you’d make some in a container in case. Pasta bake had always been your father’s speciality and it had been your favourite as a child, was still your comfort food now. Chicken and bacon sizzled, pasta boiled, and you grated the cheese to the rhythm of your favourite song playing softly on the radio while the milk and butter warmed on the stove. You snagged a piece of bacon from the wok and let the salty flavour burn your tongue.

With your masterpiece constructed and more cheese grated on top, you slid the dish into the oven for it to crisp up and set your timer, setting about washing the utensils next. It kept your hands busy, kept your mind from wandering too much, but even the sudsy water couldn’t quite keep your mind from ticking over. Why had Leon come here in the pouring rain? What had spooked him so badly he’d thought, in his less than coherent state, that he needed to be here in your apartment? Did the fact he’d come to you mean anything at all or did he just happen to be nearby? You put the saucepan a little harder than necessary into the rack when it slipped from your hands, jumping and cursing to yourself at the loud clang it had made.

“Y/N!” Leon almost roared your name in pure, abject terror. Eyes wide you rushed for the bathroom, hands still soapy and dripping water. He was already out of the bathtub, naked and scrambling through his jacket until he came up with a gun of all things, aimed right at you as you burst through the door. A shriek escaped you and you immediately dropped to the floor, hands above your head.

“Leon it’s me!” you begged. Harsh breathing filled the room.

“Where is it?” he demanded. You peeked up at him from below your arms, lowering them slowly. He was half-crouched, eyes wild and fixated on the door that led back to your room. He offered you a hand. “Come on, get up and get behind me, where is it?” he repeated the question more firmly now.

“Where’s what? Leon I – there’s only us here. I just dropped a saucepan.” You breathed. His expression faltered, confusion flooding his features first , then guilt, and finally grief. His eyes closed and he inhaled deeply, held it, exhaled slowly. He lowered his gun after a few more deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.” He said, looking a little like a kicked puppy. You shook your head, slowly pushing to your feet so as not to startle him. His skin was tinged pink, little suds clinging to the ends of his hair. The timer went off in the kitchen and Leon flinched again, hand tensing around the gun. You soothingly placed your hand on his arm.

“It’s just the timer. We’re the only people here Leon, nothing’s going to hurt us. How’s about you dry off and come have something to eat?” you suggested. He blanched at the mention of food and you frowned. “You don’t have to eat everything, just a little bit, you look really pale.” You reached for the towel and held it out to him until he reluctantly nodded and wrapped it around his waist. You left the door slightly ajar and headed for the kitchen to switch off the damn timer. He was so jumpy, so eager to jump to your defence. You plated up a small portion, not wanting to put him off with a large one. You didn’t feel particularly hungry yourself but you’d had a proper meal earlier in the evening, a cup of tea would suffice, camomile and honey would soothe your nerves. Leon had a liking for peppermint you knew. Maybe if he was nauseous that would help him eat? Tea and pasta bake served you sat opposite his place, one hand wrapped around the handle of your mug and the other pulled up to your mouth, your teeth nibbling the side of your nail.

“You’ll make your thumb sore.” He lingered in the doorway like he wasn’t sure if he should sit down or run away. You dropped your hand and placed a more welcoming smile on your lips, nodding to the plate.

“Chicken and bacon pasta bake. It’s good.” You invited. Hesitantly, Leon shuffled to the chair and sat down. You didn’t push him to talk. Months of being with Leon had assured you that pushing would only clam him up further, and you wanted to pry him open tonight. With a sinking feeling, you realised it might be the last night you ever saw him. He’d let himself be extremely vulnerable to you already and you weren’t the type of person to see this kind of trauma and let it go unchecked. You’d want to check in on him, you’d want to help him feel better, and Leon didn’t appreciate the questions you’d have to ask to get the kind of help he needed right. He sighed slightly, picking up the fork and taking a small bite. He looked physically sick for the first few mouthfuls, and you made an effort to distract him with small talk about the weather, your day and all its mundane happenings.

He seemed enraptured by your very voice, soaking in every syllable that crossed your lips and mindlessly working his arm and mouth to clear the plate and drain the mug in front of him.

“Can I have a bit more? It’s really good.” He surprised you with his request but you obliged him, spooning some more on his plate.

“If you’re that partial to it you can take some home to.” You said simply. He nodded once, clearing the second portion with ease and looking much better for it. The colour had returned to his cheeks and he looked a little more put together than before. You settled back in your chair, watched him clean his plate and put it in the drying rack. It was a courtesy you’d never have asked for but were grateful for nonetheless. He didn’t turn around though, keeping his back to you and tightening his grip on the countertop.

#resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #leon s kennedy #female reader #leon kennedy x female reader #angsty #tw ptsd #part 1

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

bathtime reading

summary: y/n and spencer are roomates; imagine what can happen with a bathtub, spencer, and pubes

word count: 780                                                                                        reading time aprox: 3 mins

an: i wrote this as a joke

masterlist

The keys fumbled between my fingers, playing a game of tag with my patience. It was a particularly stressful day at the unit, especially since Spencer was on his 30 day probation. I groaned, almost pulling my hair out of my scalp when the keys dropped on the floor. An ear piercing clank resonated through the hall of our apartment complex, bringing my ears much discomfort.

When I finally configured the door, I was met with the black abyss that engulfed the safe sanctuary I called home. I pushed the door closed behind me, cautious about producing any noise as my senses heightened. I unsheathed my gun from its holster, adrenaline coursing through my veins as I ventured through the living room. My finger laid coldly on the trigger, ready to apprehend any evil that had decided to invade my home.

In the back of my mind rested Spencer and his well being

Where in the hell is that idiot?

The irrational part of my curiosity created scenarios from my deepest fears, persuading my mind that my assumptions were indeed real. My chest throbbed at the irking feeling of anxiety while I tiptoed across the hardwood floors. Opening each room, a wave of relief would wash over me when I hadn’t discovered anyone. Although doubt lingered in my mind as the intensity of the situation caused me to be on edge longer.

I debated on whether calling for Spencer or not, scared that I might alert the intruder, or worse find something that would forever be imprinted in my conscience.

He’s okay...I’m sure of it

From the corner of my eye, an incandescent light shone from the crack of the bathroom door. Classical music played in the background while various movements across the floor could be heard.

My stomach dropped at the discovery, imagining the horrifying scene that would soon be in display for me when I investigated further. My thoughts drifted into a malicious and fearful purgatory, imagining scenes where Spencer would be bleeding from his head to his toes or him sitting casually in his own secretions as his limbs were teared from his body. The unsub would be standing next to him, laughing maniacally as I entered the room.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, maintaining a calm composure before thinking of a game plan. My feet lightly creaked against the floors, making myself cringe as I prepared for the inevitable. I laid a feeble hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open forcefully.

The scene in front of me was indeed horrifying, it was almost unfathomable of the display that my eyes had taken in.

There he was

Spencer in the bathtub....reading the principles of quantum physics

Pillows gathered around him, various blankets draped across his lanky legs. Candles were spread from the counters, the floors, to the edges of the bath. A stack of books laid adjacent to the porcelain tub, while a record player wobbled on top of the toilet seat. But what was the most bizarre of all was the sight of Spence sporting my pink fluffy bathrobe.

His face was horrified at my entrance, nearly knocking over one of the candles that glimmered at his feet. His mouth formed a ‘O’, speechless at the confused expression that was now evident on my face.

“Y - Y/N! I - um - I can explain” He babbled, setting his book beside him.

“I - I don’t even-” I laughed, shaking my head at him. The stress of the day had finally embodied me, limiting me from having the proper reaction. “Just have fun Spence - don’t get my robe dirty please” I joked, putting my firearm away, ready to exit the room.

“Wait!” Spencer spoke up, halting me from leaving. “How about you...join me?” He sheepishly asked, presenting the collection of books next to him.

I leaned against the door, contemplating my choices. “What are we going to read?” I inquired, watching the glow in his eyes shine brighter at my comment. He giddily pulled the book out from his lap, gathering the other books that were on the floor to advertise his selections.

“Well, we have the Principles of Quantum Physics, Making 17th century Calculus Fun, Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics - Oh one of my favorites! - War and Peace but in the original french transl-”

“Goodbye Spenceeeee” I sang in a mocking melody, slowly closing the door behind me despite his protests.

“Hey! Y/N - wait - can you at least take this candle with you? It’s too close to my - uhh - male anatomy”

“Have fun!”

“Wait Y/N! It’s burning my pubes!”

-

taglist: @rexorangecouny​ @howdycharlie​ @linthebinbag​  @honeymilk-4​

#spencer #spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid icons #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid imagines #spencer x oc #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid oneshots #spencer reid owns me #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler imagines #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler x y/n #mgg #mgg fanfiction #mgg fluff #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds spencer reid #cm

[let-them-read-fics]

Back To You

Pairing: Lisa x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,266

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Some Fluff, Some Smut / Suggestive Themes, Some Swearing

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! This one is based loosely on the songs “Everytime” by Ariana Grande and “Oh My God” by (G)I-DLE. (Total bops, ikr?) There are some *spicy* moments in here, so prepare yourselves. Nothing too crazy, but it’s definitely something new for me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it; feel free to let me know what you think. Happy reading!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

As Lisa watched you from the back of the room, her drink being clutched tighter in her hand with each passing second, she attempted to control her emotions. The current song’s strong beats pulsed throughout the house, the bass sending vibrations out across the floor. She watched as you spun around, leaning back and grinding slightly on whatever new person had been brave enough to approach you. Their hands were all over you, gripping your hips, your hair -- everything. The sight made her sick, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of you.

“You okay?” Jennie asked, raising her voice loud enough for her friend to hear. Upon seeing the dejected look on Lisa’s face, she followed her gaze; just as her eyes landed on you, your dancing partner leaned in to press a kiss to your neck. Your head was tilted back, granting them access; Jennie knew that Lisa would be crushed.

"Totally." She seethes, clenching her jaw and rolling her eyes as you're bent over again. 

Not even 10 minutes ago, she was the one dancing with you. The past hour had seen you two out there, bodies pressed close together, free in the rhythm. 

But she lost you the second that she left to get a drink: everyone who had been waiting for the chance to dance with you took this as their opportunity. 

Upon seeing her best friend so miserable, Jennie began to regret inviting you in the first place. The girls love Lisa more than anything and they want to see her happy; clearly, though, whatever you share with Lisa is anything but healthy. Every time they voice their concerns, she swears she knows what she's doing -- that she's capable of handling herself. It doesn't take a genius to see that she's not fine, but they do owe you some credit; she's seen some of her happiest times because of you. The only thing Lisa is certain of is that she can never seem to leave you. Anytime she thinks she's managed to let go, you're calling again, effectively pulling her back in. The situation is complex, feelings and fears mixing together in a deadly combo. 

After a while, Jennie convinces her to spend some time with the girls outside by the firepit in hopes of taking her mind off of the situation. She agrees, and soon she's genuinely enjoying herself again. 

~~~~~~~

Why, out of every other room possible, did she have to walk into this one? It's almost karmic, to the point that Lisa wonders if maybe she did something so unbearably heinous in a past life that she might be deserving of such punishment. She was simply looking for the restroom; never did she expect to witness this. 

Perhaps you haven’t noticed her presence yet -- you're in someone’s lap, half naked with your hair mussed and lips swollen, your motions never ceasing for a second. Standing there, catching you in the act, Lisa's torn -- should she slip away and pretend like she never saw that? Or should she burst in and interrupt you? 

Before she has time to react, the decision is made for her.

From outside the door, just a little bit down the hallway, another partygoer shouts out a slurred phrase to their friend, falling to the ground in a drunken heap. The sound catches your attention (considering it was loud enough to be heard over the music blasting from downstairs) and you look up. Lisa’s eyes meet yours halfway, neither of you knowing what to do at that point. She visibility tenses before muttering a quick sorry and shutting the door. Shit.

Your current hook-up is too busy leaving marks on your neck to even acknowledge what happened, their hands gripping your waist as they pull you in closer. While part of you wants to go after her, your mind is still clouded with desire -- your body overrules your better judgement, prompting you to continue on. You attempt to push the thoughts of Lisa from your mind, but every time your head is thrown back in pleasure, eyelids fluttering closed, the image of her sad eyes flashes before you. Why did she look so upset?

Lisa’s heart is breaking. After making her way down the stairs, she throws a goodbye to her friends over her shoulder before walking out. What the two of you have was never supposed to be complicated; quite the opposite actually. Neither of you can deny the energy you share -- the connection you feel anytime you're together-- but you aren't ready for a relationship. Lisa's always said that she isn't either, but it's a lie every time; she doesn't want to tie you down or hold you back from experiencing everything life has to offer, but she wants more with you. 

She prides herself on being a strong woman, tough in the face of difficult situations. But the one thing she can't seem to get over is the fact that you're intimate with other people. It's not a new discovery by any means, but in the past she could always pretend like it wasn't true when the sadness would come on especially strong. After finding you like that at the party, though, she clearly can't do that anymore. 

Once the two of you are finished, they quickly exit the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. With them gone, you can finally breathe and take a minute to think about what happened. Why do you feel guilty? Lisa has made it clear that she's okay with what you have going on, but yet something in her gaze told you the opposite. The way her face fell, brows knitted sadly, eyes cast to the floor -- it all sold her out, her real emotions on full display. 

~~~~~~~

Two Days Later

"Can I come over, baby?" The pet name felt a bit foreign on your tongue now, almost as if you didn't have the right to use it after what happened. 

She knew the words were coming, but she still felt her stomach flip at them. A simple "Mmm," came through the phone as your answer, and you soon set off for her apartment. You could tell she was trying to sound the same as always, attempting to disguise the uncertainty in her voice as indifference. 

~~~~~~~

*Knock Knock*

The second that the door opens, you begin to apologize. 

"Lisa, I'm sorry that you had to see--"

The feeling of her mouth on yours silences you, catching you completely off guard. Wasn't she upset? Despite the confusion, you don't move away; you allow her to pull you into the room, melting into her embrace as she pushes you up against the door. 

The logical part of your brain is begging you to wait, to talk about what happened that night, but you can't find the strength to step out of her hold. Gently, her nails graze over your skin, mindlessly tracing little patterns as her soft lips press to your jaw. 

Her hands swiftly snake under your shirt, caressing the warm skin of your abdomen, and she lifts her head to kiss your lips. After spending so much time with Lisa, you're able to read her well; every touch, tremble, and move has its own meaning, successfully communicating the thoughts that she could never say out loud. Her body never lies to you, and you consider it a trusted source for that very reason. With that in mind, you make a mental note to pay attention so that you might gain some insight into what she's feeling. 

After stumbling blindly into the living room, she walks you backwards until your legs hit the couch; with a shove, you're sent falling backwards onto the soft cushions below. Her darkened eyes peer down at you, scanning over every inch of your body. Once her gaze settles on your face, she smiles widely; you're already turned on, and she's proud of herself. The air of the room thickens as she licks her lips, signalling for you to take your clothes off. She reciprocates before joining you, hovering over your form. Her hair falls into your face, gently tickling your cheeks and lightening the mood momentarily; the action draws a giggle from you, and she grins at the sound. No matter how upset she was, how hurt your previous actions made her, she would forever be under your spell. 

The aura around you shifts back to its initial, tense state, thrilling you to your core. She bites your lip, granting herself more access as she nudges your legs apart with her knee. The feeling of her toned thigh connecting with your center sends you reeling, but she's quick to muffle your moan with a kiss. Every little move from her drives you crazy, only fueling your desire more. One of your arms wraps around her waist, aiding her movements on your thigh, while your other hand comes up to tangle in her hair. With a tug, you begin kissing down her neck, leaving dark marks on the tender skin there. Your actions pull a low groan from her, and you almost grow arrogant; your ego is soon put in check when she grinds further down onto you, her hips settling into a smooth rhythm. Your knees go weak at the sensation, your stomach tightening with each push and pull of her body against your own.

The pleasure rushing through you causes your eyes to flutter closed, mind only on Lisa. Your head falls back onto the cushion, and she jumps at the opportunity to gently -- teasingly -- wrap her fingers around your neck, the slightest bit of pressure added. "You like that, baby?" It's a rhetorical question: she knows you enjoy it, especially with the way that your pulse quickens beneath her fingertips, your skin heating up. She watches as your eyes peek open the slightest bit, only to widen upon seeing the lustful look she's giving you. Knowing that your words would surely fail you, you instead nod furiously, determined to answer her question anyway. 

Her other hand travels up your stomach, past your ribs, and eventually lands on the material on your bra. In one motion, she has it off of you, sending it flying across the room with a flick of her wrist. When you shift your leg, brushing it harder up against where she needs you most, her breath hitches and her movements speed up. "Fuck, Y/N," she whines out.

"L-lisa…" The word is a mix between a stutter and a sigh as it slips past your lips; the very ones that are swollen and red from her fervent kisses. Seeing you like this -- watching you slowly come undone right before her, squirming and calling out her name -- is one of her favorite pastimes. She wants nothing more than to be the only one who has the privilege of seeing this show. You've drug her under completely, leaving her no possible way of escaping the love she has for you.

The couch creaks beneath you, its springs being worn down with every thrust of Lisa's hips, and the lewd sounds you're both letting out echo across the apartment. Surely her neighbors can hear what you're up to, and perhaps that should matter; it doesn't, though, at least not right now. 

By the way she's pouring her all into it, giving you everything she has, you know she's hurt. She's trying to prove something to you, to show you how good she can make you feel. 

You match her energy, both of you spending the next while pulling out all the stops to bring each other to release.

~~~~~~~

Deep maroon paints the dusky sky, streaks and hues of yellow and orange mixing in here and there. From your position on the couch, the curtain is parted just enough to give you a glimpse of the brilliant summer evening. The two of you must've fallen asleep after your third round, considering how much later it is and how rested you feel. Lisa’s skin is warm against your own, her body cradled in your arms underneath the blanket. With this peaceful set-up laid out before you, you decide to put your head back again and relax.

A few minutes later, quiet sniffles against your chest snap you out of your post-sex haze, causing you to quickly reposition yourself to look into Lisa’s eyes. 

"What's wrong, jagi?" 

Her eyes shut at the name now, tears wetting her long lashes at the action. How many other people have earned that titled? The thought of you holding anyone else like you're holding her right now breaks her heart.

"Don't you know?" She asks sadly, voice soft.

"I think so, but I need you to tell me." Sensing that this conversation will be a serious one, you sit up fully so that you can face her. 

"I want to be with you, Y/N. I can't share you anymore." She dives right in, sick of always beating around the bush. This isn't the first time she's tried to make you aware of her feelings, but in the past she's always relented, chalking her confessions up to simply being caught up in the moment. Her tone lets you know that this time will be different, though. 

"Lisa, we've talked about this--" The words come out sounding tired, but you're not sure what it's more directed towards: her and this recurring argument, or yourself. Perhaps a bit of both, seeing as how they're interconnected in many ways -- you're the root cause of the issues. You're tired of reminding her of your agreement, always having to be the one to crush her spirits time and time again; but what's more, is that part of you is tired of fighting your feelings for her. 

She's perfect, even in the ways that she isn't, and you know you don't deserve her because of that. You're a deeply flawed individual, too much of a coward to face your feelings and be honest. All you've ever known is running, and the idea of being open and vulnerable with someone so important to you isn't something you can deal with. You've tried pushing her away -- keeping her at arm's length, hoping she'll see that she deserves better than you -- but it never works. You're far too selfish to give her up completely, and she's too in love to leave. 

"Don't say it," she pleads, fresh tears being wiped away as soon as they fall onto her skin. 

"Why am I so special, huh? You could have anyone in the world and you choose me? I'm a nobody; I have nothing to offer you." The words are whole-heartedly earnest, honestly surprising you a bit. 

"I don't know why, Y/N. Don't you think I've questioned that myself?" 

You shake your head, taking a minute to gather your thoughts.

"Tell me that you don't feel the same. I need to hear you say it." Her tone is final, attempting to hold strong. She's trying to do this in order to move on, but both of you know it's futile. 

"I can't do that." You refuse to lie to her.

"Why, if you're only interested in me for sex?" You curse yourself for allowing things to get to the point that she'd believe something like that. 

"You've gotta be kidding me. I care about more than that, Lisa; I'm just trying to protect you." 

"From what?" She inquires, quirking an eyebrow as she crosses her arms. She's growing frustrated just like you; you can feel it.

"Me, damnit! I'm not good for you; can't you see that?" You're exasperated at this point.

"Why the hell is everyone such an expert on what's good for me? The girls, now you -- evidently everyone gets a say in it but me."

She has a point, so you tell her to continue.

"All I know is that I want you, Y/N. I wanna be the person you wake up next to, the first person you call when you have news to share; your person. I know you're far from perfect, but when have I ever asked you to be? You're a fucking mess, but I want every part of you." 

Did she really just say that to you? Your mind tries to process how the hell you managed to have such an incredible woman so ready and willing to not only stay by your side, but actively want to be there. No one's ever cared enough to be different; but Lisa is the difference that you've been searching for all along. She's seen your struggles; you've told her more about your past than anyone else, and somehow it's only made her want to stay more. How you had been such an idiot before is beyond you, but you can't put all of the blame on yourself. Having a person like her in your corner is rare; you're just happy you had this epiphany before you let her slip away.

She's looking into your eyes, intently searching for an answer in the deep pools as she waits for you to respond. The nerves that she's worked hard to suppress bubble up within, sending a sinking feeling to settle within her stomach. She holds her breath upon seeing you slowly lift your head higher, a special sort of twinkle in your eye.

"I'm so sorry, Lisa; for everything. You're the best person I know, and the absolute last person to deserve what I've put you through. I'm just scared. You're different than what I'm used to and I don't know how to deal with that. But I want you, too."

She can't contain the smile that works on her lips, tugging the corners up in the most adorable way possible. Her heart is soaring now, starting to feel like it's being repaired as she fully registers your words. She's been dying to hear you open up -- to let her in -- and it's finally happened. 

"Yeah?" She asks, seeking reassurance that this is really happening before she gets her hopes up.

"Yeah." You declare, reaching for her hand. "I'm ready to try." A gentle kiss is pressed to it, serving as your way of confirming your feelings. For some reason, kissing her hand has always felt sacred to you; thus, you only do it on special occasions. She's noticed that fact too, so it means so much more to her that you chose to do it now. 

"Come here." She utters, leaning back and opening her arms for you to join her. She wants to hold you. With a wide smile, you quickly do as she asks; her embrace is one of your favorite places in the whole world, and you'd never miss a chance to be in it.

Your head is on her chest, the sound of her steady heartbeat making its way to your ear, comforting you. She rests her cheek against the top of your head, taking in the tropical smell of your shampoo. I'll have to get her some more, she thinks to herself. She can't wait to spoil you.

Now, with the cosmos finally finding some semblance of harmony, the two of you begin your journey together. It won't be easy, but the love you hold for each other is too strong to let go to waste. Lisa’s shoulders are free of the previous weight they held, her heart no longer bound by the shackles placed on it. She's free to love you, to show you that you're worthy of a good, kind love -- the type that's patient and honest -- and she's never been happier. 

#lalisa manoban #lisa manoban #lisa x reader #lalisa #blackpink #blackpink oneshots #blackpink imagines #blackpink x reader #lisa x fem reader #blackpink smut #blackpink angst #blackpink fluff #kpop #kpop scenarios #blackpink scenarios #let-them-read-fics #jennie kim

[ladyeliot]

“Your stupid spider”

Superhero vs Villain!Reader Prompts

Request: Anonymous: Hello there! Could you write a Superhero vs Villain, where the reader is Peter Parker's best friend but also his enemy? You can use #3 if you want. By the way I love your stories and your writing. Lots of love.

Prompt #3: Truce? 

Pairing: Superhero!Peter Parker x Villain!Fem!Reader

Summary: Peter Parker is your best friend, and Spider-man is your enemy. You finally discover that they are the same person.

Warnings: Violence. 

Word count: 2446

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

"If you are really interested in how I discovered the identity of my greatest enemy, please read on."

You. An ordinary girl, born in Brooklyn to a single parent family who had moved into a small flat in the Queens area with her mother. No drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco, your obsession was pancakes and syrup. You didn't do any chores, and you didn't sneak out of the housework. After school you went home with your friends to do your homework. You liked reading, and you listened to music with headphones so as not to disturb the neighbours. In short, a teenager that many parents wish they had.

However, your persona wasn't all rosy, just because Y/N was like that, didn't mean your alter ego was too. You had a secret, everyone has secrets, you might think, but it wasn't just any secret, it was "The Secret", and no one knew it. That's why you could say it was the best kept secret in Queens, or at least that's what you thought until he came along. Spider-man.

Everything went smoothly, it took you a while to assume your powers, your teleportation, but when you got it you enjoyed your solitude in your night outings. You discovered the reality of New York City, the nocturnal and dark atmosphere of being hidden in the shadows, that is to say, you had fun as only you knew how to do. Nevertheless, since the arrival of that Spider-man, your fun was over. That man had in mind to destroy the true essence of the city and that was something you could not allow.

Your first meeting was at the top of Rockefeller Center, a night like any other after the end of one of the most intrepid police chases in Midtown West. There you were, watching the chase unfold, and there he arrived. Remarkably, due to the concealment of your costumes, neither of you could figure out who the other was, and your voice-impersonation skills helped you never get caught. All in all, that was one of many encounters you would have in the wake of Spider-Man's popularity. But still, your life went on.

"Are you telling me you're going to stand me up this afternoon for helping your aunt bake a cake?" you asked Peter between complaints. "You know we have to study for the chemistry test on Friday. And that I'm nothing without you in chemistry."

Although you tried to show him the most apologetic face in the whole world, Peter was not immune to it. 

"Sorry Y/N," he closed his locker after grabbing his books. "I promised May last week, it's very important for her to give a good welcome to the new neighbours."

You rolled your eyes but finally came to terms with your defeat.

"Okay Parker," you gave him a little push. "But you've been letting me down in the afternoons for three days now. You'll make it up to me."

You winked and Peter's cheeks quickly turned pink, he gave you a shy smile and nodded goodbye. He was adorable. It was actually good to be free in the afternoons, since Spider-Man had gotten in your way, you had a complex relationship, playing cat and mouse, trying to hinder each other's actions, and it was interesting that week.

Like the previous days, after finishing your chores at home, you put on your black suit and disappeared. Your power was complex, you didn't fully understand it yet and you knew it would take a while, but you weren't scared. You could teleport to a specific place, teleport to another person or object, and even open portals to other places. But these superpowers had played tricks on you, sometimes you appeared in places you didn't recognise and then didn't know how to get back, or you had to return home by taking public transport. Everything has its drawbacks.

Dusk was falling over the island of Manhattan, it was a busy spring evening in New York, big businessmen were leaving their offices, dog walkers were wandering into Central Park and a group of elementary school students were leaving the Museum of Arts and Design. You caught your gaze on the broad clock of a prominent building and instantly there he was, coming from 8th Avenue.

You smiled, you were in the mood for fun and what better way than to open a portal right in front of him to get rid of Spider-man and send him a few blocks further south.

"Woah!" he exclaimed, stepping into the portal and disappearing, not for long.

You started laughing, he always fell into your trap and yet he was still funny to you.

"Hello Miss Holes!"

Within two minutes it landed next to you throwing a spider web which you dodged opening a new portal.

"Too slow, stupid spider," you said with a grin hidden under your mask.  "And too predictable to be the mascot of the Avengers.

The two of you began a small battle on top of that building, as if choreographed.

"Hey!" he exclaimed somewhat offended, dodging a new portal. "I'm not the Avengers' mascot."

"Then why is it your turn to do the dirty work?" you ran off, shaking off his cobwebs.

"What...?" began Spider-man somewhat confusedly pausing over the rooftop antenna. "What dirty work?"

You let out a small laugh and in an instant you teleported to his side.

"You know," you began to lower your tone."Robbing old ladies, selling drugs in the neighbourhood - oh, you even helped a woman yesterday who didn't know where to find the underground," you squinted. "Spidey, you're so bored that the most exciting thing in your life is meeting me."

You were so lost for words that you didn't see it coming. In that instant a spider web, a bit slimy for your taste, wrapped around your mouth like a gag silencing your every word. You quickly tried to get rid of it with little luck.

"Thank goodness!" exclaimed your opponent alejándose de ti. "Much better. Sorry about that, but we'll be doing us both a favour."

You touched solid ground again, and raised your hands in the direction of the satellite dish, teleporting it in the direction of Spider-man, who quickly dodged it. From that moment on, your rage intensified, increasing the tension of the fight, which usually ended without a clear winner, only exhaustion won out.

"Woah! That was a close one!" he exclaimed, leaping ten metres above you.

Your throat squeaked, but no sound escaped because of the gag. You tried to get rid of it by teleporting it away, but it wasn't possible. At that moment you would have made it disappear forever if you could, but finally you stopped throwing objects at it, to disappear from there yourself.

It wasn't being a good day for you, maybe it also had to do with the fact that you were sure that your best friend didn't have to make any cake with his aunt May, nor did he have to accompany her to dance classes or anything like that, they were all excuses and you didn't know why he was making them.

In milliseconds you were back in your room, rummaging through your things to get rid of that gag and remove the mask from your costume. Nothing was any good. You had no idea what that spider's web was made of, but nothing could break it.

In desperation you tried again to teleport it, but you were unable to concentrate all your attention on it. You had only one hope left, Peter, he would surely know how to get rid of her, although you would owe him a lot more explanations. You closed your eyes, instantly you were inside his room, luckily he wasn't there, nor was he inside the house, everything was silent. So you assumed that he was not baking a cake with his aunt.

A couple of hours passed, just enough time to come up with a plan before Peter arrived.You had taken a handful of sheets of paper, you knew that when he came in he would be scared and might scream, so you summarised your story as best you could on those sheets of paper.

You heard the front door close, Peter was talking to May and heading towards his room. You took the sheets of paper and positioned yourself in the middle of the room, waiting for him to come in, as if it was the movie "love actually". It was an embarrassing situation.  You watched as the doorknob turned and there he appeared.

It took a few moments for his eyes to settle on you, but at that very moment both of them widened like saucers.

"How the hell...!"

You quickly raised your hand, trying not to make your friend squeal or panic, and pointed hurriedly to the sheets of paper you were holding.

Peter closed the door behind him with a stunned look on his face.

"Please don't shout," he began, reading the posters in a trembling voice. "I'm not going to hurt you."

You dropped a sheet of paper on the floor.

"It's me, Y/N," Peter's voice dimmed, and it took him a while to react. "WHAT?!!!!"

You quickly raised your arms again in a way to stop him from screaming.

" Whoa, whoa, whoa!" exclaimed Peter again. "What are you saying?!"

Dejaste que los carteles se cayeran al suelo y saltaste sobre él intentando cubrir su boca con tus manos. En aquellos momentos estabas segura de que su tía May entraría en la habitación en segundos debido al ruido. Peter seguía gritando cosas inentendibles bajo tus manos, con sus ojos castaños abiertos como platos mirándote. Decidiste destaparle la boca, ya que no servía para nada y volviste a por los folios para ponérselos nuevamente frente a él.

“¡Esto es una locura!” se llevó las manos a la cara, pero continuó leyendo los folios. “Spider-man me ha lanzado una de sus telarañas,” cambiaste de folio. “Y no puedo deshacerme de ella, tienes que ayudarme.”

Peter stood still watching you, his eyes were red with nervousness and his nostrils flared every time he took in and released air from his lungs. You knew it was going to be a shock to your friend, but you didn't understand how it was affecting him so much. You raised your arms, quickly pointed to the spider web gagging your mouth, you needed to get rid of it and then you would give him all the explanations he needed.

A blushing Peter slowly approached you, stepped around you and in an instant you felt no more pressure. At last you could rest, your jaw and mouth were sore, but it was no surprise to you, what was surprising was that your friend had got rid of the restraint in a second.

Puzzled, you turned to him, who was still in shock and looked a little frightened. He carefully brought his hands to the top of your mask and slowly lifted it, exposing your face.

"I can explain," you said calmly. "I..."

"Oh my god," Peter interrupted you, sitting up in his bed.

"Listen," you shook your head and sat down next to him. "I understand your reaction, it's crazy, I should have explained it to you a lot sooner, but- Wait, how did you get that obnoxious fabric off me so fast?"

Peter put his hands to his head and sighed.

"It's synthetic spider silk," he explained without looking at you. "It's got the gigapascals augmented, with its web you can hold even a car in the air, but-"

"Wait," you stared at him.

Your mind worked fast enough to grasp enough information and connect it in a couple of seconds. You slowly rose slowly from his side and looked at him with a frown.

"What?!" you exclaimed this time. "That's impossible!"

"Yes!" exclaimed Peter getting up and holding his hands to his head. "That's what I was thinking! It's impossible!"

At that instant the door to the room opened revealing a smiling May.

"Peter yo - Hey Y/N!" she greeted with a frown.  "I didn't know you were here. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Hi, May. No, no," you said quickly in a bit of a daze. "Thank you very much, but my mother's expecting me for dinner."

"Okay," she smiled looking you up and down. "Nice suit!" your cheeks took on a ruddy colour. "Peter, dinner in half an hour."

"Thank you May," Peter replied a little shyly.

His aunt closed the door again.

"That's why you were always making excuses for me in the evenings!" you reproached him."And the Stark scholarship! How could I have been so blind?" "And the Stark scholarship! How could I have been so blind?"

"I know, I know," said Peter, as he paced around his room next to you. "By the way, your powers - they're awesome!"

You motioned for him to lower his voice again. This situation was crazy, you didn't know whether to be relieved, to teleport, or to teleport him to a place far away. You leaned your back against the wall, closing your eyes so you could think clearly.He was your best friend, had you been hating your best friend all this time?He was your best friend, had you been hating your best friend all this time? He was your best friend, had you been hating your best friend all this time?  Peter stood in front of you.

"Hey..." he whispered caressing your cheek, the place where your spider web had passed. "If I'd known... If you'd stayed a little longer I'd have taken it off."

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked up at him arching an eyebrow. "This is too much."

You looked straight into those brown eyes, they had been a weakness for you since fifth grade. Besides, his gaze accompanied with the caress of his fingers on your cheek lowered your defences.

"Please stay for dinner. If you want, we can study chemistry later," Peter said almost pleadingly.

"Really?" you asked in confusion. "You want to study chemistry after everything that just happened?"

"Truce?" Peter arched a somewhat hopeful eyebrow.

"You're one of a kind, you stupid spider," you said, unable to hide a grin.

"You stupid spider."

Requests/Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

Taglist:  @indigo123789​ @mycosmicparadise​ @imerdwarf​

#spider-man x reader #female reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagines #tom holland #spiderman #´marvel #mcu #ff #fic #fanfic #fan fiction #y/n #you #mastelist #best friends #enemies #superhero x supervillain #high school

[hockeyforthefirsttime]

Vince Dunn- Try Again Chapter 1

AN: here it is, chapter one to try again:) i hope people like it and that its not awful :I 

word count: 2100 ( i think) 

tw: i can’t think of any, but let me know 

Other parts can be found here: Prequel

- Where do you want to meet?

Vince thinks it’s a pretty neutral text to send, even if he is pacing the kitchen floor after his gym session. He knows she just arrived in St. Louis and just finished unpacking while he was out, because she sent a text.

- Uhm.. the Starbucks near you? 

The screen of his phone lights up with a pling, and a second message ticks in before he has the chance to respond. 

- But I do warn you, you’re gonna have to come buy some books with me..

And that second, right that second, is when his brain starts spinning with a plan.

- Okay, I’ll be at Starbucks in like 15 minutes. 

All she responds with is a thumbs up, and that’s okay by him. Quickly he runs into his room, and pulls out a t- shirt and a hoodie. Pulling them over his head, he makes sure that he has his wallet and phone, as well as keys. 

It feels like a good day for walking, even if his legs feel like jello. He can’t decide if it’s from nerves of seeing her for the first time in two years or the gym session. Regardless, the sun is out and he likes the fresh, crisp air. It always tends to calm him down. 

He enters the Starbucks and is struck by her all at once, even if her back is facing him. She has changed since the last time he saw her. She still wears hoodies, and he is pretty sure the vans on her feet are the same she had on when she walked out on him. But she has changed, she seems stronger both in posture and mind. The tiny slouch isn’t there anymore.

She walks over to the waiting area to get her drink made, and he can’t help but admire her. She has done something to her hair and it looks nice. And her smile, god it reaches her eyes, even if her mouth is covered by her mask. It always was a contagious smile. 

When her name is called up from behind the serving station, he notes that she is carrying two to go cups. 

“Hey Y/N, how are you?”

Vince calls out from behind his own mask. She looks around for the source of the voice and when she finds him, she reaches out one of the cups. He gratefully takes it. 

“Hi Vince, I’m good, how are you?” 

She asks as he pops the lid off of his cup. And it’s like she poured the coffee right down his throat and into his heart, because it’s the same one he always orders. He can’t believe she still remembers. She just smiles at him. 

That’s the moment he decides to go for a careful hug, and he is grateful when she accepts it. When she has her head in his chest, he whispers. 

“I’m good, I missed you though.”

And as the words leave his mouth, he feels her hand tighten around the fabric in his hoodie. His heart aches for her. For home. She has changed perfume, this one is not as heavy, but her hair still smells like apples. 

She pulls away, and he follows suit. 

“So, you wanna go book shopping? Or do you just wanna sit here?” 

Y/N asks carefully, yet gallantly avoiding his admittance. 

“Oh I could go for some books!” 

He answers eagerly, and she shakes her head knowingly.

“You sure? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you read much more than a game plan.” 

She chirps him lightly. 

“Oh, just because I read people better than I read books, doesn’t mean I don’t read.” 

He chirps back, as they head out the door, which Vince holds open for her. Y/N, too makes a few mental notes of how he has changed as well.

“So what kind of books are we looking for today, miss brainiac?” 

He asks, trying to make conversation. 

“Oh, just some academic stuff. Boring stuff.” 

She shrugs, however she sounds a bit bitter saying the “boring” part. He can’t help but think that someone must have made her that reluctant to tell him, and maybe that person was his past self. 

“You really don’t have to come.. you know that right?”

“I’m more than happy to come with you, makes me get off my ass.”

Vince smiles at her, bumping her lightly with his elbow. Y/N just smiles and shakes her head at him. She knows very well that he wishes it wouldn’t be too long. 

What she doesn’t know is how grateful he is that she is willing to have him as a part of her life again. Even if it is a small part, he appreciates it.

They have been walking around Barnes and Noble for almost an hour, and even if his arms are just a little achy from carrying all the books she needs, he volunteered to carry them. Y/N is just picking up the last book before she comes back to him. He has been standing near the register and has admittedly been a little bored, so he started looking into the books in his arms. While they have some big words and translations that read a little heavily, he can’t help being a little fascinated with them. And the admiration for his ex grows, just a tad bit more than he cares to admit to. 

“Okay, it’s just this one, and then I’m picking up a used one.” 

She smiles at him, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. And even if her bangs are a little all over the place, from her pulling her hand through it, she looks adorable. 

“Good, you were taking forever.” 

He jokes lightly, with a wink before getting in the line. They aren’t the only ones out here for university shopping, he can tell by the prices that are being rung up. He can remember spending that much on something, but fuck, it’s still a lot. 

“Next, please.”

The girl behind the counter can’t be much older than them, she is pretty, with dark hazel eyes and a red flannel that contrasts beautifully with her dark hair. 

“Hi, it’s these please.” 

Y/N gestures to the books in Vince's arms, which he drops onto the counter, before he reaches behind himself and stretches his arms, discreetly taking out his wallet. 

“Philosophy, are you taking Mrs. Hargroves' classes?” 

The girl behind the counter asks, and before he knows it, the two girls are launching into conversation. Turns out both of them are going for the same degree. And while Vince isn’t jealous of the girl, he would love to carry those kinds of conversations with Y/N.

As soon as she is done scanning all the books, Vince is the one closest to the debit machine. Y/N doesn’t notice at once, but when she hears him scan his card and punch in the pin code to his card, she turns and looks at him. 

“Vince.. outside please.” 

She picks up the bag from the checkout girl, with a clenched jaw. 

“Goodbye Jamie, see you in class then?” 

The girl, Jamie, looks at Y/N with a sympathetic gaze as she nods and calls for the next customer. 

Vince and Y/N walk out the door together, and he can hear her brain twisting and turning inside her pretty head. He has a gnawing feeling in his stomach about what she is thinking of. 

They reach her car, a Toyota Rav4 as far as he can see, and get in after she has put her books in the trunk. He waits in the passenger seat, taking a look at the inside of the car. It’s a stick shift, and he lowkey finds it kind of hot, he isn’t gonna lie. He can’t find anything else noticeable about the car though, it seems like just another car. With a reusable water bottle in the cupholder, and a book and a backpack in the backseats. Before he can distract himself with something else, she gets into the driver's seat.  

“Vince, why did you pay for my books.” 

And he wishes he could answer at once, with a good convincing argument, but he can’t. So he just stays silent for a few seconds. 

“Vince.” 

She doesn’t sound angry, she just wants an answer. So he settles for honesty. 

“Because you deserve it. Because I wanted to.” 

She frowns, cause that is the reasoning he used when they dated as well. 

“And why did you want to?” 

He wasn’t ready for that question. Two years ago she would have told him how much she could provide for herself, how she didn’t need him like that. Now he knew that. 

“I wanted to say sorry okay? For the way I treated you, for the way things ended. For everything.”

He reckons that she has to process it all, cause she twists the key in the ignition, takes off the handbrake and shifts the car into first gear. She hasn’t changed that much, she still drives to think. 

“You don’t have to say sorry for everything you know. And we were two people in the relationship.” 

Vince knows, god he knows, cause the relationship wasn’t always bad, there is a reason he misses her. He watches the roads in silence for a while, until she stops in front of an apartment complex.

“This is where you live?” 

He asks as she kills the engine. 

“No, I’m just gonna pick up a used book from this guy.” 

Y/N answers abesentminly. She pulls eighty bucks from her wallet and exits the car. He slumps back in his seat, and subsequently jumps a bit when Y/N knocks on his window. 

“You coming or what? I’m not gonna go up to some strange man’s apartment alone.” 

And the little smile on his lips, the fact that he trusts him, makes his heart swell. He almost hopes that they’ll pretend to be dating, but neither does she take his hand nor does she hold him close in any sense of the word. He pulls a hand through his hair as she walks before him up the stairs and he can’t help himself from looking at her ass.  

They reach the correct door, and she rings the bell. Him leaning against the railing, just observing. The man that opens the door is stunning. Dark eyes and dark skin, and a warm smile. 

“Hey, You must be Y/N?” 

And Vince gets his back off the railing, sauntering just two steps closer, not because he is scared, Vince is jealous goddamn it. Cause the only times Y/N plays with her hair is when she is stressed or flirting. She is definitely not stressed right now. 

“Yeah, you got the book still? Carter” 

“Of course, just gimme a sec and I’ll go get it.” 

He smiles with a wink, a goddamn wink. While he eyes Vince carefully. Once he is out of earshot, Vince lets out a sigh. 

“You good?” 

Y/N asks carefully, turning around. But before he can form an intelligent reply Carter is back. 

“Here you go, there are some notes in the margin, I hope you don’t mind.” 

Carter says sheepishly. 

“What is a book without notes?” 

Y/N says as she hands him the eighty bucks. 

“Exactly!” 

But before they can carry their conversation any further, Vince casually looks at his wristwatch. Carter seems to get the hint though. 

“Well, you should probably get going, it’s getting late. Catch you on campus?” 

“Yeah, probably. I hope so, thanks for the book.”

And he knows she is smiling, ‘cause Carters smile widens.  

In the car the silence is deafening, so Y/N puts on the radio some pop station and doesn’t care much more. It’s silent all the way back to Vince’s apartment. She stops the car and lowers the volume on the radio. 

“You okay Vince?” 

He doesn’t have to look at her to know she is looking at him. Her gaze is burning into his cheek. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

He answers, trying to sound okay. 

“Cause you have been clenching your jaw the entire way hom, here.” 

He catches the way she catches herself, and for once, he thinks, for once think of her before yourself. 

“Oh yeah, just a headache.” 

And he knows, god he knows she doesn’t believe him. 

“Okay, try not clenching your jaw and drink some water when you get up okay?”

He just nods. 

“Thanks for meeting me by the way. I really appreciate it.” 

Y/N says, and he bites his tongue, especially when she puts a hand on his shoulder.  

“Me too. Talk to you later?”

“Definitely.”

#vince dunn #vince dunn imagine #vince dunn fic #vince dunn angst #ince dunn fluff #st louis blues imagine #st louis blues #st louis blues fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl angst #nhl fluff

[jingabitch]

I Love Recycling

SUMMARY: wherein water is a scarce and precious resource and you are given to Jennie as her recycler.

RATING: Explicit

PAIRINGS: Jennie x reader; side Rosé x reader

WARNINGS: smut | watersports | future au | dystopian au | idol au | kai-bashing (sorry) | inherent power imbalance | some D/s dynamics

WORD COUNT: 21.6k

A/N: !!! i was honestly scared to post this and I’m still kind of nervous so I hope you guys will be kind 🥺🥺 if i get hate on this i’ll probably delete my blog altogether lmao. this is for the handful of followers who wanted blackpink watersports.

Year 2086

Most mornings, Jennie didn’t really enjoy waking up, and would sleep past noon if she didn’t have any morning appointments. Even when she did, she often snoozed her alarm until she couldn’t anymore before getting ready.

Today, however, Jennie woke up before eight in the morning, excitement making it difficult for her to go back to sleep. Instead, she came out of her bedroom to the common area of the dorm, much to the surprise of her group members.

“Unnie, what are you doing up so early?” Lisa, who was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table having some fruit for breakfast, asked.

Chaeyoung, sitting next to Lisa and nursing a cup of tea, laughed at the question. “She’s obviously excited about today,” she teased, smirking mischievously up at Jennie.

The older girl rolled her eyes and headed to the kitchen to get some coffee. “What’s wrong with being excited?” she asked when she came back to the living room, sitting across from her two bandmates. She meant to sound tough and sassy, but there was a bit of vulnerability that she couldn’t quite hide.

Hearing it, Chaeyoung immediately backtracked. “Unnie, there’s nothing wrong with being excited! We’re sorry we laughed. I think it’s really great that you’re getting a recycler.”

Jennie blew the steam off the top of her coffee mug to avoid making eye contact with her dongsaengs. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah, I mean, this has been your dream since even before we debuted, right? We’re happy for you, really.”

That cheered Jennie up a bit, and she smiled at them. “Okay,” she accepted, grateful to have such supportive friends. Getting a recycler had been a big decision, especially since she didn’t live alone. She’d initially been nervous to broach the topic with them, terrified that they would say no to such a big commitment and having another person living in the dorm with them, but they’d been cheering her on the whole time.

It was common for idols, as well as other members of society’s rich and elite, to have recyclers. After all, water was a precious resource, and rationed to each individual or family unit based on net worth, contributions to society, and so forth. The distribution system was regulated by an algorithm so complex most people couldn’t understand it, and there were, unfortunately, people at the fringes of society who didn’t get enough water to survive.

The solution, therefore, was relatively simple and straightforward. People who weren’t assigned enough water to survive could sign up to be recyclers and be assigned to members of society who were given an excess of water, and the name was somewhat self-explanatory. Basically, recyclers… recycled the water the elites drank.

Put more bluntly, they drank pee.

It was highly regulated, of course – applicants who wanted recyclers of their own had to go through health checkups and maintain a healthy and responsible lifestyle before they were assigned a recycler. There were background checks, home visits and it was overall a very stringent selection process. Even as the only daughter of a wealthy family, Jennie hadn’t been able to qualify. It wasn’t until she was an established idol with a group and a thriving solo career that she finally got the letter informing her that she was now eligible to undergo the selection process to have a recycler if she wanted it.

And, well… she definitely did. Recyclers, because of the nature of their relationship with their assigned donators, grew very close to them, a bond that often lasted a lifetime. It was exceedingly rare for recyclers to apply for a new donator – approximately 0.1% of recyclers did, usually because their handler abused them or had contracted a disease that made it unsafe for them to continue donating their urine. Jennie did not intend on being part of that 0.1%.

As an only child, Jennie had often been lonely growing up, and after watching a documentary when she was in her teens about the intimate bond between donators and recyclers, had craved that kind of companionship. Today, a long-held dream was finally coming true, and she was going to be bringing her assigned recycler home today.

She still had a little bit of time before she was supposed to get ready, so she opened her laptop and pulled up the file she’d been sent on her recycler. The file was comprehensive – full name, picture, age, educational background and other details. Enough for Jennie to start constructing an idea of what the girl she’d been assigned would look like, but not enough for her to understand L/n Y/n, the person. Still, she supposed, there would be plenty of time for that in the coming years.

Really, the agency had done a remarkable job of finding her the perfect companion. She’d had only a few vague ideas about what she wanted – a girl, preferably, because she was just more comfortable with having a girl around 24/7, someone younger than her so she could dote on her and fulfil her older sister fantasies, and cute. The last requirement was something that she’d reluctantly added at the request of her management company. Having recyclers was a symbol of stature, and played into idols’ image of being successful and wealthy. Jennie didn’t necessarily like it, but they wouldn’t have okayed her having a recycler who wasn’t photogenic, so she’d had no choice.

As much as she knew about her recycler, Y/n didn’t know much about her at all, because she’d requested that her identity be kept strictly private. With the amount of public interest in idols’ lives, she knew her seeking a recycler would be leaked if she didn’t take the utmost care to keep it secret, and even though it was inevitable that everyone would eventually find out, she wanted to keep it to herself just for a little while. A few weeks to get to know her recycler without public scrutiny, was that too much to ask for?

Anyways, given that her recycler didn’t know anything about her or who she was, she wanted to make a good impression. She’d been thinking of what to wear for days now and hadn’t been able to decide, but now time was running out and she had to choose something fast.

“Aaaargh,” she cried, ruffling her hair in frustration as she stared at her closet. Half of her closet was Chanel and the other half was filled with assorted haute couture pieces, yet she couldn’t come up with something that she was confident meeting you in.

Hearing her scream, Jisoo slipped into her room sleepily. “What’s going on?” she asked, yawning. Jennie had woken her up, and she sat down on the bed, sighing. She wished she was still in her own bed.

“Unnie, I can’t figure out what to wear,” Jennie complained, turning to her bandmate.

Jisoo blinked at her. “Why are you having such a hard time? It’s not a big deal.”

“But I want her to like me,” Jennie whined, sticking her head back into her closet.

“She’s going to like you no matter what, Jennie-yah,” Jisoo said, her eyes drooping.

“You don’t know that! How could you possibly know that?” Jennie cried, sliding the hangers one by one along the bar in her closet to look at all her clothes.

Jisoo sighed. “Just don’t wear pants. It makes it harder to… you know.”

Jennie, who had been looking at a pair of wide-legged trousers, turned back to look at Jisoo with wide eyes. “Oh my God, that’s true,” she said, sliding it over to the right and beginning to browse through her skirts and dresses instead.

In the end, she went with a simple ensemble – a white, off-shoulder, cropped blouse with a large bow on the bottom and a short black pleated skirt. Because she was a Chanel girl at heart, she paired it with a small black Classic Flap and heeled booties.

By the time she was ready to leave, she was running late (despite her early start today!) and dashed out of the dorm, yelling a hasty goodbye to her roommates. As she walked towards her car in the underground parking lot of the dorm, she sent out a quick prayer of thanks that YG had finally lifted the ban on the members driving. This whole thing would have been all the more awkward if she’d had to have someone drive her there.

------------------------------

As she pulled into the parking lot of the Bureau of Water Distribution, Jennie pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. The security to get in was fairly rigid, since there were so many high net worth and prominent individuals who came to pick up their recyclers here. On the bright side, that meant no paparazzi, and everyone around her today would either be trained to ignore the fact that she was an idol, or famous enough that her presence wouldn’t faze them.

After parking her BMW, Jennie got out of the car and entered the building, psyching herself up to meet Y/n. It was just the most important day of her life, that’s all. You could divorce a husband, but recyclers were forever. She introduced herself at the counter and was almost immediately taken to a private room, where she was told to wait for her recycler.

With some time to kill, Jennie started looking around. The room was beautiful – marble flooring, leather couches, fancy furniture and art. This room was designed with its wealthy occupants in mind, and it showed. She squirmed in her seat nervously, her heart pounding from the nerves. If her recycler didn’t come soon, she was going to find her on the ground, unconscious.

Despite the anticipation, Jennie almost leapt out of her seat when there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” she said in a shaky voice as she stood up, her hands folded in front of her. The door opened and a stout lady in a pantsuit bustled in, clearly a member of the staff here from the lanyard dangling from her neck.

“Miss Kim, it’s nice to meet you. This is L/n Y/n,” she said, stepping aside so Jennie could take a good look at you.

You were clearly nervous, your eyes downcast and your hands, like hers, clasped politely in front of you. Without raising your eyes, you folded yourself into a deep bow, your torso parallel to the ground. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Kim. Thank you for choosing me as your—” Your eyes widened in shock as you saw the person who was standing in front of you for the first time.

“Right, well, I’ll leave you two to get to know each other. When you’re ready to leave, just give me a call and I’ll give you the rest of the paperwork,” the staff member said before making herself scarce.

“Thank you,” Jennie said, nodding at the staff member as she left and shut the door behind her. Then she turned her attention to you. Your clear nervousness did a lot to put her at ease – she immediately slipped into nurturing mode as she saw how vulnerable you looked. Clad in the plain dress that came standard issue for recyclers, slightly hunched over, trying to make yourself smaller… the wave of tenderness that rushed over her almost knocked her clear over.

“Come sit down,” she said, sitting on the couch herself and patting the cushion next to her in invitation.

“Okay, Miss Kim,” you said politely, making a beeline for the couch. Clearly, you’d been taught to be obedient to your donator, but this was a little excessive, Jennie thought.

“You don’t have to be that formal, Y/n-ie. You can just call me Jennie,” she reassured you. “And you can relax. I don’t know what they taught you about how recyclers are supposed to act, but I really want you to become part of my family,” she continued, placing her hands over yours, which were still clasped together tightly.

Your gaze drifted from your hands in your lap up to her, and the apparent sincerity in her gaze as she smiled at you putting you at ease. It was still terrifying, of course – you hadn’t known until just now that your mysterious donator was a world-famous idol, and you didn’t quite know how to react. Still, the earnest expression on her face had you believing that no matter what, she would be right there with you. It was a nice feeling, and you couldn’t believe that someone you’d known for about five minutes was able to make you feel this way when no one in your life had ever succeeded.

“Thank you, Miss Kim— I mean, Jennie-unnie,” you amended hastily. “Sorry, it’s just that your file only had your last name, so I got used to calling you that in my head.”

Then you realized what you’d said and flushed scarlet, much to Jennie’s delight. It was reassuring to know that she hadn’t been the only one looking over your file almost obsessively.

“Don’t worry,” Jennie said, squeezing your hands lightly. “I’ve been excited to meet you too. I know my file was pretty empty, though, so I’m happy to answer any questions you have before we sign the papers.”

“R-really?” Your eyes lit up.

Jennie chuckled. It was so easy to make you happy, it seemed. “Go wild,” she encouraged.

“Does being your recycler mean being in the public eye a lot?” you asked the first question that came to your mind.

Jennie hummed thoughtfully. “It might,” she admitted. “But we’ll all do our best to protect you, so you don’t have to worry, okay?”

You nodded as you digested that, then asked the next question. “Will I be living in the dorm with the other members?”

“Yeah, at least for a couple of years. When the lease is up on the apartment, we probably won’t renew it. It’s weird for us to be so old and still living together.” Catching your dumbfounded expression, she laughed. “Why? Are you excited to meet the others?”

At her question, you immediately ducked your head, though she could still see how red your ears were. She laughed in delight. “Y/n, are you a fan?”

You yanked your hands out from under hers to cover your face, which was hot to the touch. “Maybe,” you confessed miserably. She definitely found this weird now and would request a different recycler; you’d screwed things up before it even began.

“That’s so sweet,” Jennie cooed, patting your head. “Don’t worry, I’m sure everyone will love you.”

That didn’t sound like she was upset. Peeking at her from between your fingers, you saw that she was smiling, so you slowly lowered your hands. “Really?” you asked with a small voice, and she nodded at you, still smiling.

“Okay.” You smiled shyly back at her, and Jennie could barely resist cooing over you.

“Are you ready to get the papers now?” she asked, and you nodded.

She used the intercom in the room to call the staff member back, and the paperwork was quickly dealt with. You both signed the copies of the agreement presented to you – one for each of you, and one for the Bureau’s records – and that was it, you were free to go. Before the staff member left, however, Jennie stopped her to ask where the restroom was.

“What? You have a brand-new recycler right there!” the staff member barely got out through peals of laughter. Jennie looked over at you and flushed. She’d asked out of habit, forgetting that this was your whole purpose.

“Take as much time as you need, you can leave when you’re ready. Have a nice day!” she said as she left. Jennie and you stared at each other with wide eyes for an awkward moment before you looked away, clearing your throat.

“Uh, right… how do you want to do this?” you mumbled.

Jennie gulped and looked around. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead yet. “Uhh… how do you prefer to…?” she asked uncertainly.

Your gaze snapped up to hers. “I’ve never practiced it,” you told her. “Donators usually like to train their recyclers themselves according to their preferences.”

“Oh…” Jennie was clearly way out of her depth, floundering for help, and you felt a deep tug inside you that compelled you to provide that guidance.

You placed your hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back onto the couch, then got on your knees in front of her. It was here that you hesitated – was it too intimate to help her remove her clothing? Was this something she would expect of you? – and you slowly raised your hands, giving her plenty of time to take off her own panties if she wanted to.

Instead, she continued staring down at you as you slipped your hands under her skirt, resting against the smooth, warm skin of her hips. It boggled your mind that you were in this position – you, who’d entered Bureau protection at the age of fifteen, who’d led a miserable, unspectacular life right up till this point, had been chosen as Jennie’s recycler. And she was so nice, too. Maybe this was an apology from God for dropping the ball on your life so badly.

“All right,” you murmured. “Here we go.” Then you hooked your fingers in her panties and started drawing them down. You’d never done this in real life, but there was an abundance of written material for recyclers, so you knew in theory how it worked. Swallowing hard, you pulled the scrap of lacy fabric down her legs gently, then set them aside.

“Uh, okay…” You looked up at her. “So, how do you want to do this? Do you want me to close my eyes, or…”

Jennie just looked blank. Clearly, she hadn’t given much thought to the details involved in recycling. Well, you thought optimistically, this was preferential to the donators who fetishized the act.

“I don’t know,” she finally admitted.

“It’s okay,” you rushed to comfort her, squeezing her ankle. “We can figure it out together.” Sooner rather than later would probably be best though, since she was starting to squirm in her seat. Pushing her knees apart, you positioned yourself beneath her, opening your mouth and looking up at her face.

“Is this okay?”

“Uh, I guess?” She was still gnawing her lip uncertainly, though, so you sat back to regard her.

“Is something bothering you?” you asked, your brows knitting together in concern.

“I don’t know, this is just kind of weird, isn’t it?” she fretted. “I don’t want to accidentally spray you in the face.”

You bit back a laugh. You were literally drinking her urine, and she thought you were afraid of getting some on your face? That was kind of cute, you thought. “Even if you do, they always keep wet wipes and towels in the rooms so that’s not a problem. If you’re really worried, I can form a seal with my mouth, but I read that sometimes it’s harder to pee like that.”

“Okay, let’s try that first, and then if it doesn’t work, we can go with the wipes?” she suggested. Your new donator was honestly so cute, and it was so different from her onstage persona that you were confused. Compartmentalizing it all and prioritizing her current needs over your disbelief that any of this was happening was the only way you were getting through this, but there would be plenty of time later to sit and mull over your thoughts.

Shuffling back slightly, you bent down to press your mouth to her bare pussy, being extremely careful with the… placement of everything so you didn’t make it awkward. Once you were settled, you remained still, focusing on not moving your tongue at all. Not knowing where to look, you ended up focusing on the ceiling. As a result, you didn’t see Jennie’s face twist slightly as she tried to focus on releasing her bladder.

Even though you couldn’t see it, you heard her huff in frustration and effort and felt the minute movements as she clenched and released her pelvic muscles, trying to start the stream. You waited patiently, your hands resting in your lap, forcing your body to relax to avoid stressing her out.

Eventually, she managed to do it, a little spurt trickling into your mouth. After that, it felt like the floodgates had opened as she started peeing more forcefully, forcing you to gulp it down hastily if you didn’t want to choke.

Urine, you’d read, tasted bitter and/or salty, depending on the diet of the individual. You’d been prepared to get used to it, knowing that you didn’t have much of a choice, but thankfully Jennie didn’t taste awful, which was probably because of her healthy diet. It just made you all the more grateful to have been assigned to her.

The stream eventually petered out, and you waited for a second to make sure she was done before pulling back, not sure if she wanted you to help clean her off. You looked up at her uncertainly and found her staring at you with a look of such sheer contentment that you couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Thank you, Y/n-ah,” she said, still looking blissed out, and you helped her get dressed before standing up. She stood up too and took your hand as she led you out of the building.

When you stepped out, you blinked, slightly disoriented. You’d barely left this place for five years, and now you were leaving for good. It felt weird – even though you knew that this day was coming, especially after you received the file on your donator, it still felt strange to be walking out like this, with Kim Jennie from Blackpink, no less.

Jennie caught your bewildered expression and paused. “Are you okay?” she asked, taking a step back so she was standing next to you again.

“Uh, yeah, just… it’s been a while since I came in,” you replied dazedly, looking up at the building. It looked so ordinary from the outside.

You didn’t have that many things, having led a fairly spartan lifestyle in the Bureau, so there wasn’t much to load up her car with. Jennie had been informed, of course – donators were expected to provide for all their recyclers’ needs, which was one reason why the income requirements for donators were so strict. You slipped into the passenger seat of the BMW, looking around with wide eyes and sitting carefully with your hands folded in your lap, not wanting to touch anything unnecessarily.

“Relax, Y/n-ie.” She laughed at you as she started the car. “Put on your seatbelt,” she reminded, pulling out of the parking lot. You buckled yourself in but continued sitting uncomfortably.

“Seriously, chill out. You’re going to be spending so much time in this car; you can’t possibly stay like that forever.”

“Okay,” you said shyly, relaxing just a little into the seat. The windows were all tinted so no one could see in, which was probably for the best, since you were not ready to be plastered all over the tabloids.

“So tell me more about yourself, Y/n-ie,” Jennie requested. “You mentioned earlier that it had been a while since you came in. When did you join the Bureau?”

“When I was fifteen,” you explained.

“Really? That’s young. I thought people could only sign up to be recyclers when they turned eighteen.”

“That’s true, but there are exceptions for extenuating circumstances, like where families are unable to provide for their children.”

“Oh,” she said awkwardly. “I’m sorry.” You could see her wincing, like she was afraid she’d said something wrong.

“No, don’t be,” you assured her. “I never had the best life anyway. It actually got better when I was emancipated from my family. I got to finish my GED and everything because I joined the Bureau.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said a little lamely, not sure how to process that. She’d always known she was fortunate to be born into a family that could afford to give her all the opportunities that had led her to where she was today but seeing the difference between her life and yours so starkly forced her to confront her privilege more directly.

She directed the conversation back to more neutral topics and the drive home passed relatively quickly. As they took the elevator up from the underground carpark, Jennie prayed with all her might that the others hadn’t decided to do something completely over-the-top and ridiculous to welcome you into their home. You already seemed overwhelmed with everything that was happening (and yeah, maybe she should have consented to letting you know her identity before today) and she didn’t want to stress you out anymore.

Thankfully, there were no streamers or anything like that, although all three of the girls were seated on the couch, eagerly waiting. When the door opened, they leapt up as one, rushing to the door. You were, of course, startled by the sight of the three celebrities all but tripping over themselves to come greet you, and hid behind Jennie, clutching the back of her shirt while you peeped at the others over her shoulder.

As annoyed as she was with the others for being so extra, she couldn’t help but enjoy the way you were clinging to her, seeking protection and comfort. This was exactly what she’d been craving her whole life, and on the day that she met you, you provided it for her so effortlessly.

“Guys,” she frowned at them, but none of them were buying it since they could all see the subtle signs of her happiness that she couldn’t quite hide. It was in the way her eyes softened slightly and the relaxed posture of her shoulders.

“Sorry,” Lisa giggled. “We were just so excited to meet our new roommate.”

“Well, this is L/n Y/n,” she introduced you, stepping aside so the others could take a good look at you. Deprived of your shield now, you seemed to fold in on yourself.

“Hi,” you said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper. Your greeting was accompanied by an awkward little hand wave, and Jennie could see the rest of the girls melting over you.

“Okay, let’s get you settled in, sweetie,” Jennie butted in. You nodded and followed her to her room like a baby chick, and she busied herself with showing you around and telling you where your stuff was, trying her best to ignore the sound of the others sitting in the living room cooing and giggling to each other.

When she was done, which honestly didn’t take that long since the apartment was rather modestly sized anyway, they returned to the living room where Jennie sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and you knelt politely next to her.

“I’m hungry, did you guys order lunch yet?” she asked the others, looking at the impressive collection of takeout menus spread out across the coffee table.

“No, we thought since it’s Y/n’s welcome lunch, she could order!” Chaeyoung explained, smiling at you.

“You guys, that’s so nice!” Jennie was moved on your behalf, but you were basically frozen, staring with wide eyes down at the menus. You had no idea what to do – at the Bureau all meals had been provided (and none of you had ever had any money anyways), and back when you’d lived with your parents, takeout had been a rare luxury.

“Um, what do you like, unnie?” you immediately turned to ask Jennie, the person you were the most familiar with in the house, albeit not by much.

“You should choose what you like today, Y/n-ie!” Jennie, absolutely unhelpfully, encouraged.

“Uhhh…” You turned back towards the dizzying selection of menus. “Maybe we can just get some kimchi stew?” You went with the most simple, basic option you could think of. Your mother used to make it for special occasions, and it was one of the few good memories you had of your childhood home.

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Chaeyoung cheered enthusiastically, sweeping aside the mess to pick up the menu for her favourite stew restaurant. “What do you guys want? I’ll order it,” she asked the others, and soon all four of them were poring over the menu, their heads close together as they discussed what dishes to get.

Since you’d already chosen, you sat back on your heels, watching them. Really, for being one of the most popular groups in kpop today, they seemed surprisingly normal to you. You hadn’t known what to expect coming into their home, but they were doing their best to make you feel included and comfortable with them.

Even as you were looking on fairly contentedly, ruminating on your good fortune to have gotten such an amazing second family, Jennie reached over to your lap and took your hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. When you looked over at her, she smiled at you, trying to convey without words just how happy she was that you were here.

For the first time, you started to believe that maybe the Bureau had been right when they’d assured the recyclers that they would help them find new homes far better than the ones they’d left.

---------------------------------

After lunch, all the girls retreated back into their rooms for naps. You and Jennie ducked back into her room – well, you amended, it was your shared room now – and Jennie shut the door in Jisoo’s face as she tried to come in after them. “Sorry, unnie, but she’s my recycler,” Jennie said, giggling at Jisoo’s stunned face before closing the door.

When she turned back to you, however, her expression was a lot more uncertain. “I hope that was okay,” she said. “You don’t mind, do you?”

You smiled back at her. “No, of course not,” you rushed to reassure her.

“Oh, okay, good,” she replied with visible relief. “Um, I do have to…”

“Right, of course.” You’d watched her casually drink glass after glass of water with lunch, after all, so this wasn’t really a surprise for you. It had been a little disconcerting, sure, because you were pretty sure between the four of them they’d easily consumed a day’s worth of water for you during lunch, but then again, they were rich and famous idols, so that was to be expected.

“How do you want to do this?” you asked, though you didn’t have much hope that she had an actual answer for you, based on how lost she’d been earlier.

Predictably, she just stared at you with wide eyes. Your lips twitched. “Do you want to do this in the shower?” you offered. There were a number of positions you’d studied, but obviously you’d never tried any of them out. She nodded, and you made your way to the bathroom together.

You knelt in the shower and waited for Jennie to join you. She stepped in hesitantly, standing in front of you. “Hey,” you greeted, smiling up at her as you held a hand out for her to take. She placed her hand in it and let you pull her over. “You okay?” you asked, running your thumb across her knuckles.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling down at you. Letting go of her hand, you slipped your hands up her skirt again to pull her panties down and off. She stepped out of them, then stepped closer to you.

“You have to open your legs a little more,” you murmured, before ducking your head slightly so you could look up at her pussy. Getting the idea, she widened her stance, then frowned. It still felt awkward.

Seeing her discomfort, you shuffled back closer to the wall, then guided her into a different position. Her hands were braced against the wall above your head, and she’d raised one leg, her knee pressing against the wall for support. “Is this better?” you murmured.

She nodded, then closed her eyes, concentrating. In this position, your mouth wasn’t pressed against her, so the first spurt missed your mouth entirely, spraying your cheek and dripping down your neck. Ignoring it, you adjusted your position and came a little closer to catch the rest of it neatly. Her taste was quickly becoming familiar to you now, and as you gulped it down, your eyes wandered up to her face, catching the blissful, relieved expression she was wearing. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open, her brow furrowed slightly as she leaned her face against her arm. It was so cute that you couldn’t look away for a moment.

When the stream finally waned and then stopped, the last bit dripped against her thigh instead of falling into your mouth. You went to clean it up for her, then hesitated, not sure if she would be comfortable with it. Jennie had caught your aborted motion and asked what you were doing.

You looked up at her with an embarrassed flush. “I was, uh, going to clean it up for you,” you admitted.

She giggled at you, resting her forehead against the wall to look down more comfortably. “Go for it,” she urged, and you drew your tongue up her inner thigh, following the trail. You paused when your tongue hit the crook between her thigh and her body, and she just smiled at you encouragingly, so you continued, lapping up the droplets that clung to her.

Jennie helped you get yourself cleaned up after, then tucked you in next to her for a nap. As you drifted off to sleep, you squirmed a little closer to her, seeking her warmth and comfort.

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The day that Jennie had come to pick you up from the Bureau, you quickly learned, had been a rare day off for all four of them. Most days, even if they didn’t have group activities and appearances, Jennie had her own solo appointments, like interviews, meetings with Teddy for her solo work, Chanel appearances and so on. Because you couldn’t be away from her for more than a few hours, you went with her for most of them, though you stayed behind the scenes.

Since you’d come to her with so little of your own, Jennie had been having a field day shopping for you. Whenever she was free, she’d be on her phone or laptop browsing the different shopping websites with you. At first you’d been reluctant to buy so many new things, only selecting cheap clearance items, but with her repeated encouragement, you’d gotten bolder with choosing clothes and accessories that you liked.

Today, you were dressed in a cute summery outfit, a loose V-necked blouse with ruffled half-sleeves tucked into high-waisted dressy shorts. Loafers completed your cute ensemble, and a Chanel pendant that Jennie had lent you sat between your collarbones.

Jennie was supposed to be focusing on the photoshoot, but her gaze kept drifting towards you, sitting behind the photographer and watching everything with rapt attention. After being in the spotlight for so many years, all of this was commonplace to Jennie, just another day’s work, but it was all new and exciting for you, and seeing your fascination with photoshoots and music recording was refreshing for her.

The photographer knew Jennie was distracted, but the expression she was wearing, soft and open, was far better than the neutral, slightly pouty one she usually showed the camera, so he didn’t complain or direct her attention back to the shoot. This was amazing stuff, and fans would go wild for these photos.

He’d wanted to include you in the photo shoot and tell the world about Jennie’s new recycler, but that had been strictly forbidden. Jennie wanted to be able to tell the public about her recycler on her own terms and when you were ready, and you definitely weren’t yet. It was becoming somewhat of an open secret in the industry since you followed her almost everywhere, but everyone knew that if they were the one to leak it to the public, they would be blacklisted by YG, so no one dared.

When the photoshoot ended, you went back to the dorm together, Jennie driving while you chattered on excitedly about what you’d seen at the shoot. It appeared that Jennie wasn’t the only one who thought you were adorable – the other staff members there had too and indulged your many questions. The makeup artist had even done your makeup, and you were still giggling about it when you left the shoot venue with Jennie.

Tonight, however, Jennie was a little distracted, because she was going to see Kai for the first time since she’d gotten you, and she was worried about leaving you at home. You’d started to get along well with the others, so she wasn’t concerned about that, but for the last two weeks or so that she’d had you, you’d barely left her side. Was it weird to get separation anxiety from her recycler?

When you got back to the apartment, Jisoo and Lisa were still out with their own appointments, but Chaeyoung was hanging out in the living room watching Netflix on the TV, so you skipped off to join her while Jennie went and got ready. She called you into her room before she left to use your services, and you slipped off the couch to enter her room.

By now, you’d figured out your favourite way to do this, and Jennie had bought a special chair for this purpose. You rested under the seat comfortably, your body on an incline with your head slightly back, while Jennie sat down. She’d decided that she liked it better when your mouth was pressed against her, telling you that it was because it made less of a mess but actually rather enjoying the warm, cozy feeling of your lips against her, so the chair was set up so that your face was almost peeking through the seat.

She was wearing a pretty dress, which was currently scrunched around her waist, her panties in your hand. From her position on your face, she was staring at your legs, which were stretched out across the floor. This was the position that was the most comfortable for both of you given the limitations of the chair, and even though she’d been self-conscious at first about the way you were basically looking directly up her ass in this position, you’d rightly pointed out how silly it was to get shy about that, all things considered.

You really were a godsend, she thought as she relaxed and started to urinate in your mouth. So sweet and kind to her and everyone else you were around, and really, having you around meant she didn’t have to spend as much time fighting with the other girls for access to the bathroom, which was great in itself, but this comfortable set-up felt like the epitome of luxury to her. She was starting to love the experience of pissing in your mouth, and she wondered if you were aware of just how much she liked it.

When she was done, you conscientiously licked her clean, as usual, another aspect of the whole experience that she deeply enjoyed, then she got up off your face. You smiled at her as you extricated yourself from under the chair, then held her panties out for her to step into.

“Have fun on your date tonight, unnie,” you chirped, seeing her to the front door where she put her shoes on. She gave you a hug and a forehead kiss before departing.

You returned to the couch, curling up next to Chaeyoung with your legs folded beneath you, and she unpaused the show you’d been watching. It was just the two of you tonight, since Jisoo and Lisa had plans too. You didn’t mind – after Jennie, Chaeyoung was probably your favourite. You rested your head on her shoulder as you watched the movie quietly.

When the credits started to roll, Chaeyoung switched off the TV and the two of you made your way into the kitchen to get dinner. As you were chopping up the kimchi for the kimchi fried rice, Chaeyoung, who was stir-frying the pork, struck up a conversation by asking you how your day had been.

Excited, you started chattering on about how much fun you’d had tagging along on Jennie’s photoshoot, continuing even after dinner was ready and you moved back to the living room to start eating.

Chaeyoung, who, like Jennie, was so used to photoshoots and the like that they’d completely lost their charm, thought it was absolutely adorable how excited you were about what to them were regular, daily events. When you finally wound down, she asked, “So what was it like for you growing up?”

You put down your spoon and finished chewing your food. “I didn’t come from the best family,” you explained. “I was emancipated when I was fifteen and joined the Bureau and lived there until I was old enough to come here.” Jennie knew most of the details surrounding your past, courtesy of sleepy late-night chats almost every night, but the others didn’t.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chaeyoung apologized, thinking she’d brought up unpleasant memories.

You shrugged. “It’s all right. My parents tried their best, but there was never quite enough water and money. It was a relief for us all when I left, I think. And I’m here now, so it worked out,” you concluded, smiling at her.

“I guess you’ve been enjoying your time with us then?”

“What gave me away?” you giggled. “Everyone’s been really nice, especially Jennie-unnie. I’ve never had so many clothes and things.”

Chaeyoung was surprised by how happy you seemed to be. Even though recyclers were fairly commonplace, she’d always expected that they would be kind of unhappy about their lot in life. “Really? So you don’t mind the whole drinking pee thing?”

You’d just put a spoonful of rice in your mouth when she said that, and in your surprise, some went down the wrong pipe, causing you to choke and cough. “Jesus,” you wheezed when you finally recovered.

“Sorry, sorry!” Chaeyoung cringed. “That was a really personal question, wasn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged, “but it’s okay. And to answer your question, I don’t really mind, I guess. Like, I learned at the Bureau that some people taste pretty gross, but Jennie-unnie tastes okay. And it makes her so happy.”

“Yeah, it really does.” Chaeyoung had to agree. In the past few weeks since you’d come to live with her, Jennie had smiled more, and doted on you like crazy. Plus, it was clear the arrangement suited her – the satisfied smile she wore whenever you emerged from her room together had become somewhat of an inside joke among the girls.

“Are you thinking of getting a recycler of your own?” you asked, resting your chin on your hand as you regarded her. Your expression was open and friendly, and Chaeyoung hesitated, looking away shyly.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for the commitment,” she confessed.

“I understand that,” you said, nodding. You really did – a recycler was a whole person that she would be responsible for, and you knew it was a big responsibility. “I think it’s really great that you’re aware of your limitations.” You reached over and patted her hand.

With a rush of bravery brought about by how nice you were being, she finally said, in a slightly embarrassed tone, “I’ve always wanted to try it, though.”

“Try what?”

“Uh, you know…” Having utilized her store of bravery, Chaeyoung hid her face in the crook of her elbow on the table.

“Oh,” you said, then, as the meaning of her words sank in, you repeated, “Oh.”

Even though her head was resting on the table, you could see her shoulders drawing up around her ears as she let out a miserable whine, regretting having said anything in the first place. Your lips twitched in amusement. This was honestly pretty funny, and even after being here for a couple of weeks, you couldn’t believe that little old you got to see the famous pop stars like this.

“It’s okay, forget I said anything, please,” Chaeyoung begged, finally lifting her face off the table to face you.

You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing at her. “No, it’s okay, really,” you rushed to assure her when you were sure you could speak without gigging. “Have you talked to Jennie about it?”

Chaeyoung shrugged. “No, why would I?”

“She might be able to tell you more about it,” you said, then hesitated before making your offer. “Plus, if she doesn’t mind, I could… you know.”

That caught her attention. “Really?” she asked, perking up.

“Yeah, if Jennie-unnie is okay with it, I guess I don’t mind,” you said, shrugging. After all, you’d been around her long enough to know what her eating and drinking patterns were like, and she seemed to have a pretty healthy lifestyle, so you didn’t have any concerns.

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It was past midnight when Jennie came home, and you were already in bed, doing something on the laptop she’d gotten you last week. You looked up when you heard the door open and smiled at her when she came in.

“Did you have a good date?” you asked as Jennie set down her bag and sat at her dresser to remove her makeup.

She smiled at you in the mirror. “Yeah, I did,” she told you. It was true – Kai knew that she’d gotten a recycler since she’d been texting him with updates while he was on tour, and was interested to know how you were settling in, plus they’d had sex at his apartment after dinner, which was why she’d returned to the dorm so late.

As she went to the bathroom to shower, she thought about something weird that had happened, though. Kai had been almost too interested in you. At first she’d brushed it off, happy that he was taking an interest in you since you were now an important part of her life, but he’d kept asking intimate questions that she didn’t quite know how to answer.

Plus, she’d had to use the toilet at his apartment since she couldn’t hold it anymore, and after weeks of pissing exclusively in your mouth, it had felt strange and almost unpleasant. Would it be weird to take you along on date nights, she wondered. It was almost inevitable that you would meet at some point if her relationship with him continued, so it might be best to introduce you two anyway.

By the time she went back to the bedroom, clad in her pajamas, you’d put your laptop away and were snuggled up in bed, on the side closer to the wall. You smiled softly as she padded through the room to get under the covers next to you, turning onto your side to face her. Excitedly, you asked her for more details about your date, and she acquiesced, recounting every detail of it to her attentive one-person audience.

“Wow,” you sighed as you closed your eyes, “that’s so cool. I’ve never been on a date like that before.”

“Really? Never?” Shocked, Jennie turned onto her front and propped herself up with her elbows on the mattress so she could look down at you.

“Yeah, I went to live in the Bureau when I was fifteen, remember?” you said, opening your eyes.

“Right.” Jennie lay back down, starting to feel bad for you. If you were her recycler, chances were you’d never be able to experience many things that she took for granted.

“And you’re dating Kai from EXO too, wow,” you sighed. “I love EXO.”

“Well, maybe you’ll be able to meet them one of these days,” Jennie said lightly. Now that she knew you were excited about EXO, she felt a lot better about introducing you to her boyfriend.

“Maybe,” you said, before letting out a massive yawn.

“Okay, sweetie, good night,” she said, leaning over to kiss your forehead, before turning off the light using her phone.

--------------------------------

The next morning, you and Jennie slept in, and by the time you emerged from her room, the others were already hanging out in the living room. Jennie went to get breakfast for both of you in the kitchen while you sat on the couch with Lisa.

Chaeyoung, seeing Jennie, got up and followed her to the kitchen. After exchanging greetings and niceties, she got straight to the point, too excited and nervous to beat around the bush. Last night, she’d barely gotten any sleep from thinking so hard about your offer, and the more the thought floated around her mind, the more she found herself craving it.

“Unnie, can I ask you a question?”

Jennie, still slightly sleepy, grunted as she poured herself some coffee.

Understanding that that meant yes, Chaeyoung forged ahead. “Do you like having a recycler? Like, I mean, the actual recycling part,” she clarified.

Jennie turned to blink at her, the coffee pot still in her hand. “Are you asking me if I like having Y/n drink my pee?” she asked slowly. She wasn’t much of a morning person, and Chaeyoung could hear the gears in her head slowly grinding as she thought about the question.

“Uh, yeah,” Chaeyoung confirmed, a little abashed now as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” The thought of it put a little smile on Jennie’s face as she took her coffee and turned to lean against the counter, raising the mug to her lips.

“Great, that’s great. I was talking to Y/n-ie about it last night, and uh… I was wondering if I could try?”

“Try… what?” Jennie raised an eyebrow.

“You know…” Chaeyoung, now shy, looked down at the floor. “Recycling.”

“Oh…” After pausing to take a sip of her coffee, Jennie shrugged. “I mean, it’s her choice. If she says yes, I’m not going to stop her.”

Hearing that, Chaeyoung’s eyes lit up. “R-really?!”

Jennie blinked, not sure why she seemed so surprised. “Yeah, she’s still her own person. I can’t make these decisions for her. But only if she wants to, okay? You can’t pressure her into it.”

“No, of course not,” Chaeyoung assured her. “She was the one who offered, actually. Yay! Thank you, unnie!” she cheered. “I can’t wait to tell her about it.”

At the blatant display of enthusiasm, Jennie rolled her eyes and raised her coffee cup back to her lips to hide how cute she thought her dongsaeng’s excitement was. As much as she tried to play it cool, she could relate – she loved recycling too. It was probably a strange comparison to make, all things considered, but you’d spent more time down there with your lips pressed to her than Kai ever had, and she was starting to enjoy you cleaning her off way more than she should, given that it wasn’t necessarily an erotic act for you.

Still, she thought as she downed her coffee, that seemed like a problem for a different time, when they didn’t have to get to the studio to practice. Placing the mug into the sink to wash when they got home, she left the kitchen to eat breakfast and then get ready.

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Watching the girls practice for their new comeback was seriously the best thing that had ever happened to you, you thought as you sat in a corner of the dance studio with the dogs. You’d taken a liking to each other, and Kuma was lounging comfortably in your lap while Dalgom sat next to you, whining every time you stopped petting him.

Their comeback song was really catchy too – Teddy had really outdone himself this time, and you couldn’t wait for their comeback. It was so different, though, seeing all the behind-the-scenes prep for everything before the final product, and it gave you a way better understanding of how hard the girls actually worked.

Jennie’s skin tasted different, too, during and after dance practice, which was something you probably should have expected, but it didn’t occur to you until after she’d settled on your face, her thighs bracketing your face. Since you couldn’t bring her chair around with you, for obvious reasons, the two of you had had to figure out a more minimalist way of doing this while you were out of the house.

Since there were so many prominent people in YG, almost every room had some facilities to cater to recyclers, like a screen for privacy. It meant that Jennie didn’t have to spend as much time going to the bathroom down the hall, which did make them more efficient, because she had to pee all the time, but since the other girls didn’t have recyclers, it didn’t really help that much.

Still, it was nice taking breaks to feed you her piss. You always smiled at her, and had sweet words of encouragement, telling her she was doing a good job even if it didn’t feel like it. It was almost worrying how much she was coming to depend on you, not just for her physical needs, but for your companionship and emotional support as well.

Plus, having you lick her clean sent a little thrill down her spine every time, and that definitely helped to cheer her up. Although she shied away from thinking of it as an erotic act, it did feel a lot like unconditional acceptance, especially when she knew she was sweaty. You never even made a face, easily going with the flow (pun unintended).

It wasn’t uncommon for recyclers to form close bonds with their donators, Jennie knew. YG had many donators among its ranks – TOP from Big Bang had adopted one after he cleaned up his act enough that the Bureau considered him eligible, and his recycler, who’d been with him for three years now, was doing a remarkable job at keeping him on the straight and narrow. Being so directly responsible for someone else’s welfare had really made him more careful with his own body.

When the girls declared that it was time for a lunch break, you tagged along with them to the cafeteria. The food at the YG cafeteria was famously delicious, and you always enjoyed eating there. Plus, you got to see the trainees, idols and actors come and go, which was always fun, even if you sometimes had trouble not staring.

After lunch, the girls were going their separate ways – Jennie had to work on her solo album, Lisa was going to work on a dance collaboration, Jisoo was going to film for her new drama and Chaeyoung was off to an event. After waving goodbye to the other girls, you followed Jennie to the recording studio.

Seeing that you were alone there since you were a bit early, Jennie took the opportunity to ask you about her conversation with Chaeyoung earlier. Sitting you down on the couch, she rolled a desk chair over so she could sit facing you.

“Chaeng asked if she could try, uh…” Really, she thought, it was ridiculous how much difficulty she had talking about when it had become such a significant part of her life.

Fortunately, you remembered your conversation with Chaeyoung last night, and understood what she was trying to say immediately. “Uh-huh?” you nodded, looking at her attentively.

“She said you were okay with it, but I just wanted to check if you’re really okay. I mean, you don’t have to feel like you have to just because she’s my friend and all, and if you don’t want to I can tell her no—” Jennie was starting to ramble, so caught up in assuring you that you didn’t have to feel forced into anything because of your position in the household.

“No, I was okay with it,” you cut her off with wide eyes. “I was the one who offered. Is that what you were talking about this morning?” Come to think of it, Chaeyoung had left the kitchen in such a good mood this morning that you should have realized that something was up. You’d been playing with Lisa’s cats, though, so you hadn’t given it much thought.

“Yeah, she asked me about it in the kitchen,” Jennie confirmed. “I just wanted to check if you were okay with it.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” you said with a smile. “Oh, unless you mind,” the thought came to you suddenly. “I’ll tell her no if you don’t like it!” you rushed to assure her. You hadn’t even considered that she might have a problem with it when you opened your big mouth (again, pun unintended).

“No, no! I don’t mind. You can do whatever you’d like, of course. I won’t stop you.”

“Oh… okay. Great!” you said slightly awkwardly, not sure what else to say in this situation. Thankfully, Teddy entered the room and saved you from having to say any more.

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Based on the way Chaeyoung was staring at you over dinner, you were pretty sure Jennie had already green-lighted things with her. The anticipation in her gaze was almost disconcerting in its intensity, but truth be told you were kind of flattered that she was so excited about it. Jennie had a boyfriend, so you knew that this act was nothing sexual for her, but you’d learned during your time preparing to be a recycler that for many donators, having someone consume their urine directly from the source was often an intensely sexual experience.

From Chaeyoung’s almost predatory gaze, you were fairly sure she was one of those people. Still, she hadn’t said anything to you about it, so you figured she would probably just do it and then dismiss you to take care of herself.

After dinner, you all brought your dishes back to the bucket your delivery had arrived in and left it outside the door for the delivery person to retrieve. Usually all of you went back to your rooms after dinner, but tonight, as you were about to follow Jennie back into the room you now shared, Chaeyoung grabbed your hand.

You turned, your eyes following the hand clasped around yours to the determined gaze of the girl who owned it. Biting your lip, you nodded and followed her into her room instead. As you disappeared into Chaeyoung’s room, you didn’t notice Jennie watching you.

Even though you’d been living here for a few weeks now and had seen Chaeyoung’s room from the outside, you’d never set foot in it, since there hadn’t been a reason for you to up till today. As she shut the door behind you, you stood awkwardly, wringing your hands and shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

Chaeyoung, on the other hand, was way too excited to feel nervous, and giggled as she pulled your hands apart by grabbing one of your wrists. “Come on,” she beckoned, drawing you closer to her.

“How do you want me to do this?” you asked. Her excitement was contagious, and you couldn’t help but smile back at her. You were quickly learning that there was a part of you that loved to please others.

“How do you usually do it with unnie?” She responded with another question, and you blinked at her in surprise. Somehow, you’d been expecting her to already know what she wanted – after all, she was the one who’d been so enthusiastic about this.

“Uh, you remember that new chair that was delivered?” When she nodded, you continued, “She usually sits in it and, uh, it’s a special chair so I can rest under it…”

“Right,” Chaeyoung looked around her room thoughtfully, then frowned. “I don’t think I have anything that would serve the same function.”

“Oh, you don’t have to have anything like that,” you rushed to reassure her. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a chair in the studio or anything.”

“That’s true.” She perked up at that. “So how do you usually do it?”

“Well…” you knelt down and looked up at her. “Usually she stands over me, or if we’re at the studio she sits on the couch and I kneel in front of her.” Jennie had taken to the first position you’d shown her, even after you’d tried out all the different ones the Bureau had suggested to find the ones you liked best.

“Hmm,” Chaeyoung hummed. “This doesn’t seem that comfortable, though.”

Eventually, you managed to figure something out – you sat with your back against her bed, your head resting on the mattress, while she knelt on it, hovering over your face. As she looked down at you, sandwiched between her knees, she smirked, an expression that had you clenching involuntarily. This was new, you noted with some surprise.

“You ready?” she cooed, so like the sweet, thoughtful woman you’d gotten to know and like over the past two weeks, but also different somehow, confident and enticing. Entranced by this new side of her, you nodded, opening your mouth under her pussy.

“Good girl,” she praised, smiling down at you. She was holding her shirt up slightly so she could see your face more clearly, and she let out a sigh of relief as she relaxed her pelvic muscles, starting to pee. It missed your mouth at first, landing on your forehead, and she let out a giggled “Oops!” as she readjusted herself so that she was peeing into your mouth.

You’d offered to do what you did with Jennie to minimize mess, pressing your mouth to her, but she’d declined, and now you realized why. She enjoyed the visual of the urine descending the short distance from her pussy to your mouth, relished in the power to soak your whole face if she wanted. Your eyes were focused on her core, which was still gushing, but you could hear her sighs and whispered praises.

When the stream dwindled and eventually stopped, Chaeyoung sighed like she was disappointed – and she was. She’d been holding it for hours, since lunchtime, in anticipation for tonight, and it had been over so fast. This experience had been everything she’d dreamed it would be, and she was only sad that it had ended. She had no expectation that this would be anything other than a one-time thing, since the way she’d asked you, it had seemed like a research experience.

However, you weren’t done yet. There was still the cleanup process, so you lifted your hands to her bare hips and pulled her down gently onto your face. This time, she looked down at you with some surprise, and you returned her earlier smirk right before you dragged your tongue up her slit.

“Mmm, God,” she gasped, shuddering as you continued licking her clean. “What the hell are you doing?”

Now done, you licked your lips and grinned at her. “Cleanup,” you replied in a matter-of-factly tone. “I do it all the time for Jennie-unnie too.”

“No wonder she looks so pleased all the time now,” Chaeyoung grumbled jealously, and you giggled. It hadn’t escaped your notice while cleaning her that she was wet too, her slick possessing a markedly different flavor from her piss. You weren’t that naïve, and if she was amenable, you were more than happy to help her with that too.

After all, you had Rosé of Blackpink sitting on your face right now. Who were you to throw away such an opportunity?

“I want to please you too, unnie,” you cooed, batting your lashes at her. You were somewhat surprised at where all this bravado was coming from, but she seemed to enjoy it, so you were rolling with it too.

“Ugh, you’re so sweet, who taught you to say such sweet things?” she asked.

“I’m just being honest,” you responded coquettishly before sliding your tongue through her folds again.

Chaeyoung moaned, throwing her head back luxuriantly as she widened her stance to lower herself further down on your face. “Such a good girl,” she praised, starting to rock her hips back and forth, sliding herself over your tongue.

You’d never done this before, so your movements were a little clumsy, but your sheer enthusiasm more than made up for it, as you licked and sucked at her, letting her grind down on your face as she pleased.

“Stick your tongue out for me, sweetie,” she prompted, smiling down at you when you did. She fucked herself on your tongue, sliding along it until it bumped her clit, then sinking down on it. Your tongue was inside her now, and her clit bumped against your nose. All you could smell and taste was her, and when she looked down at you, she could only see your eyes since her pussy was firmly planted on the rest of your face.

“You look so pretty like that,” she said before continuing to fuck herself on your face, her movements growing faster and choppier as she chased her orgasm. Breathy moans and gasps spilled from her lips, increasing in volume and frequency as she grew closer. “Mmf, fuck, you’re so good at this,” she cried out a second before she ground herself down harder on your face, uncaring of your need to breathe as she came.

Her sloppy movements smeared her slick all over your face and in your mouth, and when she finally lifted herself off you, you took a deep breath before grinning cheekily up at her and making a show of licking your lips. “Did you enjoy that, unnie?” you asked, and she huffed out a breathless laugh as she shuffled out of that position straddling your face and lay back against her pillows.

“You know I did,” she teased. “Now come here, I want to return the favour,” she demanded.

Immediately, your head came up off the bed and you turned yourself around so you were kneeling on the ground, facing her. “Oh, uh, no, you don’t have to, I—”

She rolled her eyes. “Come here,” she ordered, holding her hand out to you, and you had no choice but to let her pull you close. She tugged so hard you ended up falling into the pillows next to her and knocking the wind out of your lungs. You squirmed around a little so that your head was resting on her shoulder as you looked up at her.

“If you don’t want me to, that’s fine, but I really want to,” she said in a low voice. “I want to see how wet you are from eating me out so good, Y/n-ie, and make you cum all over my fingers.”

Her words had you squirming, and you breathlessly agreed. She guided you into a kneeling position so that you were straddling her hips, then dipped her hand into your shorts, her fingers ghosting over your clit. At the same time, her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you down to her.

“Do you like that?” she whispered against your lips as you shuddered. No one else had ever touched you before, and all of this was new to you. You nodded silently, biting your lip to hold back a whimper.

“Good girl, such a good girl for me,” she praised as her fingers slipped into your panties. “And so wet,” she exclaimed with delight. Dipping her fingers into your folds to collect some slick, she then started circling around your clit with slippery fingers. In response, your head fell onto her shoulder as you held on to her tightly.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” she continued with her filthy litany as she started fucking you with her fingers, letting you grind your clit on the heel of her hand. You let out a moan as you rocked your hips, feeling everything get wetter as you grew more aroused.

“Unnie, please—” you whispered, not knowing exactly what you were asking for. She knew, though, and sped up the movements of her hand.

“Are you going to cum for me? That’s right, sweet thing, cum all over my hand like a good girl,” she purred. Helplessly, you pushed your clit further into her hand and ground it in, shuddering as you came like she asked you to. She continued to work you through your orgasm, only withdrawing when you grew too sensitive.

Seeing how shiny her fingers were from the thick coating of slick on them, you flushed, but she just winked at you as she popped them into her mouth. “Delicious,” she commented, smacking her lips.

You giggled, her nonchalant attitude making it less awkward than you’d imagined it would be after everything that had just transpired. “Likewise,” you murmured, ducking back in for another kiss.

After staying there for about ten more minutes, trading kisses and flirtatious remarks, you figured it was time to go back to Jennie’s room and you said as much, slipping out of Chaeyoung’s embrace and off the bed.

“All right,” she acquiesced when you told her, yawning as she lay back in her pillows. “It was a good time, though. Do you wanna do it again sometime?”

Your hand on the doorknob, you turned to wink at her. “Definitely,” you said before leaving the room.

Jennie was sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine, when you entered, and she looked up to smile at you. “Did everything go okay?” she asked, her expression completely neutral. She knew, of course, what had just happened between the two of you. You’d been gone way too long to have just drank her piss, and the walls weren’t soundproof. She didn’t mind, but just wanted to make sure that you hadn’t been coerced into anything.

“Yeah,” you replied with a bright smile, putting her at ease.

“Good.” She stood up and started walking over to the chair. You were familiar enough with each other now that she didn’t need to say anything; you got it immediately, rushing over and kneeling on the ground to help her with her clothes, then maneuvering yourself under the chair. In light of your new experience with Chaeyoung, however, this act took a different light now.

You weren’t stupid or blind; you’d known all along that Jennie was gorgeous, and you’d been a fan of Blackpink for years before you came to live with them. You just hadn’t thought about this act in a sexual light because you knew that it wasn’t really sexual for Jennie, and you didn’t want to be that creepy weirdo. Plus, learning about the technicalities of it all in the Bureau for years kind of sucked all the joy out of it.

Jennie sat down on your face, wriggling slightly to get into the position that was the most comfortable for her. From her vantage point, the only part of your face she could see was your chin, and she wondered if this was how Chaeyoung had done it too. Not that it was any of her business, of course.

Your mouth stretched open under her, and she relaxed with a sigh, listening to the hissing sound of the pee leaving her body and the quiet noises of you swallowing. You usually held on to the edges of the seat, and today she stroked her fingers across yours. Taking the cue, you released the seat, letting her guide your hands to cling to her thighs instead.

When she was done, you licked her clean as usual, but this time you couldn’t stop thinking about how it had felt to eat Chaeyoung out until she came, and you found yourself getting a little cheeky, sliding your tongue along Jennie’s slit a little slower and deeper than usual, flicking her clit just once before you closed your mouth.

Jennie, however, didn’t seem to react, standing up looking completely composed and turning to smile down at you. You helped her fix her clothes then went to take a shower, washing Chaeyoung off your face.

Once you were gone, Jennie let out the breath she’d been holding in a long exhale, lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. She was pretty sure that had been accidental, but boy had it felt good.

-------------------------------------

It was only a couple of nights later that Jennie took you to meet Kai. She figured there was no time like the present – plus, given her reaction to what was no doubt an accident on your part, Kai needed to take his conjugal duties more seriously.

Tonight, the three of you were in the private apartment he’d bought. He still lived with the rest of his members in their dorm, but most of them had investment properties. It was handy when they needed their own space, like tonight.

In all honesty though, you weren’t sure how you felt about Kai. Sure, he was handsome and famous and you’d been a little starstruck at first, but the way he was talking to you and looking at you was making you feel a little uncomfortable. It was difficult to put your finger on it, but when he looked at you, you wanted to curl up into a ball and hide. He was just asking way too many personal, intimate questions about your experience as Jennie’s recycler.

Now that dinner was over, you were all sitting in the living room, and you were seated next to Jennie on the couch, half-curled into her, automatically seeking her protection. She too had noticed that Kai was looking at you kind of strangely all through dinner, but didn’t know what was up with him.

“So, Y/n-ie…” he said, leaning forward. You turned from Jennie to face him. “Have you enjoyed being with my Jennie?”

You looked back towards Jennie uncertainly, slightly confused about what he was asking. “Uh, yeah,” you replied when you turned back to look at him. “Jennie-unnie’s been really nice, and the other Blackpink unnies have been nice too.”

“I’m sure they’ve been,” he brushed off your answer patronizingly, “but what I mean is, have you enjoyed being with her?”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Jennie again, this time begging her to intervene. Sensing your distress, she squeezed your leg. “Oppa, Y/n-ie doesn’t understand your question, and neither do I,” she said slightly sharply.

Instead of taking the warning, Kai laughed it off. “I’m just curious, you know?” he said with a shrug. “You can’t blame me. I bet she’s closer to you than I am.”

At your clear discomfort, Jennie changed the topic and Kai didn’t turn the conversation back around to you again, not wanting to jeopardize his chances of getting lucky tonight. Eventually, he invited Jennie to the bedroom with a flimsy excuse – “please come help me with something in the bedroom” – and you remained on the couch, reading the book you’d brought with you and listening to music with the noise-cancelling headphones Jennie had specifically gotten for you while they were occupied.

After they were done, Jennie came out of the room since she had to pee. (What? It’s good to pee after sex, okay?) Since Kai was still in the bedroom, she figured it would be comfortable enough to do it on the couch, and you easily acquiesced, getting into the position you both preferred.

This time, however, when you pressed your mouth to her, Kai’s cum dripped out, thick, salty and altogether unpleasant. You tried to school your features, but even though you hadn’t been together for that long you’d made up for that with the sheer amount of time you spent together each day, and Jennie caught the grimace in the instant before you hid it.

Still, she figured, she could talk to you about it later but right now she really had to pee, so she just started going in your mouth. You were pretty much an expert at this time, so you sucked it down without any problem, but because you really didn’t want Kai’s cum to be the taste lingering on your tongue later, you licked her clean perfunctorily, avoiding her slit as much as possible.

When you were done, you pulled away quickly, hiding your distaste – or so you thought – by smiling sweetly up at Jennie, the way you usually did. “All clean,” you chirped at her.

Attempting to hide her unease, she smiled back at you before heading back to the bedroom.

Kai was still lounging in bed, his arms folded behind his head as he smiled lazily at her. He was supremely confident of his own body – and, of course, why wouldn’t he be? He looked like an Adonis. “Come back to bed, sweetie.”

Jennie, of course, was more than happy to acquiesce. She lay back down next to him and let him cuddle her close, resting her head on his shoulder. “Jennie-yah… I want to ask you something.”

“Hmm?” she said, only half-paying attention. Her eyes were sliding shut.

“Is it nice to pee in someone else’s mouth?”

Opening her eyes, she adjusted her position to look him more fully in the eye. “Everyone keeps asking me that,” she muttered. “Is everyone really so curious about it?”

He shrugged, jostling her slightly. “It is a pretty big lifestyle change,” he pointed out.

“It’s all right, I guess.” For some reason, she didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking to him about it.

Bending to kiss her temple, he said, “I’m lucky to have you.”

Jennie smiled, bemused. “Not that I’m disagreeing, but why?” she asked lightly.

“Well, you’ll let me use her too, won’t you?”

She frowned, sitting up. “I’ll let you?”

“Yeah, I mean, you let Chaeyoung-ssi use her.” He still looked nonchalant about it, like he fully expected her to agree with him.

“Oppa, Y/n-ie was the one who agreed to that. I can ask her, if you really want to.”

To Jennie’s shock, he started looking really pouty and put out, like she’d done something to offend him. “Okay… yeah, will you please ask her for me?” he finally asked.

“All right,” she accepted, hoping that he would drop the topic. The atmosphere remained somewhat tense though, like he was still upset about it, and when she left with you, he was still sulking.

----------------------------------

Jennie had worried that your experience with Kai might affect your relationship with her, especially after you’d seemed to reluctant to drink from her after she’d slept with him the other night. Thankfully, by the next morning you seemed to be back to normal, enthusiastic and conscientious when she had her morning piss.

She was so relieved (ha) that you weren’t mad at her, and so reluctant to say anything that might exacerbate the situation, that it wasn’t until almost a week later that Jennie tried to broach the topic of Kai’s request. She didn’t really want to, because it seemed like you weren’t the biggest fan of him, but she’d promised. She made sure to wait till it seemed like you were in a good mood, when the memory of Kai’s weirdness wasn’t quite so fresh in your mind.

You were already in bed when she brought it up, and she was sitting at the dresser applying her skincare. “Y/n-ah…” she started.

“Hmm?” You were starting to fall asleep, half-listening and half-floating in space.

“What do you think of Kai?”

Your eyes snapped open, suddenly awake. “He’s all right, I guess,” you said politely, not wanting to upset her.

“Okay,” she accepted, and you sat in silence for a moment longer. “Would you… be willing to lend him your mouth?” she finally asked.

Your immediate instinct was to reject the request – vehemently at that, while making a disgusted face, but the tentative expression on her face gave you pause. “Do you want me to?” you asked instead. You thought she might want you to do this as a favour for her even if you didn’t want to since Kai was her boyfriend, after all, and her approach to this might be different from how she’d treated Chaeyoung’s request.

“Well, he wanted me to ask, but I won’t force you,” she said carefully.

“But will it damage your relationship if I don’t?” You picked up easily on the silent tension. As much as you felt uncomfortable around Kai, he was Jennie’s boyfriend, and you didn’t want to sabotage it. If you had to, you supposed you could do it. Just once, as a favour.

Jennie, of course, understood immediately what you were trying to say. “That’s not your responsibility,” she said firmly. “If you don’t want to do it, it’s fine. I’m not going to force you or guilt you. Anything that happens to my relationship with Jongin-oppa is ours to deal with.”

After mulling over it for a moment, you gave her your answer. “Then I don’t want to,” you said, shrugging. “Sorry, unnie, but I don’t feel great about Jongin-ssi.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” she muttered. “He was kind of weird the other night. I’ll talk to him about it, and try to find out why.” He wasn’t usually like this around people, years of idol training and living with others giving him great people skills most of the time. A conversation seemed necessary if she was going to keep the both of you in her life.

With her skincare routine done by the end of the conversation, she got into bed next to you and turned out the lights.

“Good night, unnie,” you mumbled, squirming closer to her for cuddles, which she gladly gave you.

-----------------------------------

Since you had expressed discomfort about being around Kai, and she knew you being around would only make him more insistent on ‘trying you out’, as he put it, she decided to go on dates with him without bringing you. This decision had a few implications – first, you ended up spending a lot more time separately, which meant you were hanging out with the other girls a lot more; second, Jennie’s dates with Kai grew shorter than they had been before since now that she was used to peeing in your mouth, she never wanted to go anywhere else.

It was this combination of factors that led to a slight strain in your relationship with her. She didn’t want to say she was jealous, because she wasn’t. She was pleased that you were becoming close with the other girls, especially Chaeyoung. It just stung sometimes. Even when she was home, there were times when you would be hanging out with the others instead of her, and you were less clingy too. Some people might think that was a good thing, but in all honesty, she’d liked clingy.

As your relationship with the other girls – and your friends-with-benefits thing with Chaeyoung – flourished, it seemed like Jennie’s with Kai was headed in the opposite direction. Having to rush home after sex because she didn’t want to use his toilet was becoming somewhat of a sore point, especially since she refused to bring you to their dates. He’d also thrown a fit when she told him you didn’t want to drink him, and it had led to one of their only fights throughout the entire duration of their relationship.

“Hey, did you ask Y/n yet?” he’d prompted almost the second she got into his car.

Jennie looked at him askance. The most perfunctory greeting kiss ever, and now this? What was with this obsession? “Yeah, she didn’t seem into it,” she said vaguely, hoping that he would take the hint and drop it.

“What?!” he exclaimed instead, sounding furious. Jennie sighed. Okay, it seemed they weren’t going to go the chill, reasonable route.

Turning to look at him, she said, “She doesn’t have to, you know.” Truth be told, she was kind of put off by his attitude. Ever since he’d met you, he’d been acting like this was owed to him. Just because she had a recycler didn’t mean she was obliged to share it with anyone.

“Yeah, but you let Chaeyoung-ssi use it,” he pointed out. “I’m your boyfriend; shouldn’t I get the same rights?”

She raised a brow. “Rights?” she asked. “Chaeyoung doesn’t have a right to use Y/n’s mouth as she pleases, you know. Y/n is very much a willing participant,” she said, slightly bitterly. Okay, maybe she was slightly put out by your blossoming relationship with her dongsaeng.

“You know what I mean,” he grumbled. “You could just make her do it.”

“Make her? I don’t make my recycler do anything she wants to do. She’s not my slave,” Jennie pointed out.

“That’s not what I meant! You’re always twisting my words!”

Needless to say, that night had not gone well. Kai was still slightly sulky about it, sometimes making snide remarks about you. Truth be told, this side of him was not one she’d seen before, and she didn’t like it. Even though recycler rights were sometimes controversial, among their circles most people agreed that recyclers deserved the same rights of freedom of choice as the general population. Kai’s revelation that he was apparently not one of them was turning out to be a problem, because she now felt responsible for protecting you from him.

She hoped that tonight’s date would go better, since they’d declared a moratorium on talking about you. All day, though, she’d had to endure the giggles and sidelong glances you’d shared with Chaeyoung, and she was pretty sure you were going to be up to no good while she was gone.

She was right. You saw her off graciously as always, giving her a hug at the front door and telling her you hoped she had a good time with Kai tonight, and that you would be waiting for her. The moment she left, though, you ran through the apartment straight into Chaeyoung’s room.

“Unnie!” you cried excitedly, throwing yourself on the bed so enthusiastically that you bounced.

Chaeyoung smiled at you. You weren’t dating, but you weren’t quite friends either, and she’d definitely grown very fond of you (and your mouth) over the couple of months that you’d been living in the dorm with her. Whenever Jennie was out without you, you’d come hang out with her, and by this point you had a pretty nice routine: you’d get delivery, then maybe watch a movie with the others before retiring back to her bedroom.

Tonight wasn’t any different, and you found yourself in the living room, eating fried chicken with the others while watching a movie. Chaeyoung was drinking a lot more water than usual, looking meaningfully over at you every time she reached for her glass. You knew this was in preparation for later, so you winked back at her every time.

All this flirting wasn’t lost on Lisa and Jisoo, and by the time the movie ended, the two of them grumbled good-naturedly about how they didn’t need to see all of this as they went back to their bedrooms. You and Chaeyoung giggled together as you bade them good night, knowing that they didn’t really mind it and were just teasing.

Once you were alone, Chaeyoung immediately took your hand and pulled you closer to her, going in for a kiss as your bodies collided. You slid your hands along her hips, groping her ass shamelessly.

“Mmm, we should probably take this back to my room before we get in trouble again for leaving fluids all over the living room,” she breathed against your lips. You couldn’t agree more and let her drag you into her room by your hand.

“Strip,” she ordered once the door was shut, already following her own instructions. You laughed at her enthusiasm even though you knew you would pay for it later, pulling your shirt over your head and shucking your shorts and underwear in one fell swoop. She did the same, and almost lunged for you.

“A little eager, aren’t we?” you teased even as you lay back on the bed.

“Shut up,” she growled. “I have to pee so bad, you don’t even know.”

“You were the one drinking all that water earlier,” you pointed out as she straddled your face. She was facing your body, so your face was basically in her butt. Not that you minded. It was a very pretty butt indeed. You wanted to squeeze it some more, but she was kneeling so that her legs were resting on your shoulders, restricting your movement.

“Don’t act like you don’t love drinking my piss,” she said, sounding strained as she looked down at you between her legs.

You winked at her from the gap between her thighs. “How could I even pretend? You’re so thoughtful, making all that delicious piss for me…” you breathed, a moment before she started peeing.

The first bit of it missed and glanced off your cheek, but you knew now that it was intentional. She loved watching the way her stream found its way into your mouth after first landing on your face somewhere, and you didn’t really mind either. The stream of dirty talk that she kept up the whole time was getting to you, and even as you gulped down her piss, your hips were rocking into the mattress slightly, seeking out that little bit of stimulation.

Chaeyoung noticed and leaned forward to pull your legs apart, which caused her pee to splash against your forehead instead. You made a noise of protest and she readjusted with a giggle, sinking a little lower so that her pussy was closer to your face.

“Mmm, it feels so good to pee for you, sweetie,” Chaeyoung groaned as the last of her urine dripped out.

“I’m glad you enjoy it, unnie,” you giggled. She widened her stance further to lower her pussy to you, and you eagerly started lapping at it. Meanwhile, she was holding your legs open and licked a broad stripe down your slit, from your clit to your tight, clenching hole.

“Mmf—” you let out a muffled groan into her slick flesh. She’d never done this before, and you were a huge fan. No wonder she got so crazy when you’d licked her for the first time.

You were busily eating each other to orgasm when the door swung open without any warning. At first, neither of you paid any heed, until you heard the disgusted exclamation coming from the entrance.

“My God!” Jennie cried out as she opened Chaeyoung’s bedroom door, only to come face to face with a more direct view of her member’s asshole than she’d ever wanted to see. Taking a step back, she turned away. “Y/n-ah, can you come here for a second?” she asked, directing her question at the hallway.

Now aggravated beyond all bearing, you groaned. “Unnie, can this please wait?” Not only were you busy, you really didn’t want to stop what you were doing right now to eat Kai’s creampie.

“No, it can’t,” she snapped, irritated. She’d been holding it since she left, and she needed to pee now. And how dare you talk back to her like that, anyway? Had you forgotten why you were even here to begin with?

“Fine,” you capitulated, sensing that this wasn’t the hill to die on. “Give me a minute, I’ll meet you in your room.”

With that, Jennie stalked off, and you sighed, tapping Chaeyoung’s hip to make her get off. “Sorry, unnie,” you apologized as you got up and started putting your clothes back on.

“It’s all right,” she excused graciously. “She seemed like she was in a mood, though. We might need to take a rain check.”

You pouted back at her as you started walking backwards towards the open door. “I don’t wanna,” you whined. “I’ll be right back?”

“Okay,” she chuckled, and you were on your way.

You arrived in the room you shared with Jennie to see her already pacing impatiently in front of the chair. “Hey, unnie,” you greeted as you sank to your knees to help her strip. You were obviously distracted and in a rush to get back to Chaeyoung, and moved quickly to get under the chair.

As Jennie sat down slowly, she caught a glimpse of your grimace, and anger flared through her, but first she needed to take care of her needs. Perhaps pettily, she sat without care and started peeing even before she was sure that you were in position, causing you to have to squirm under her to prevent a huge mess.

When she was done, you licked her clean as quickly as you could, and she felt a stab of irritation – she refused to acknowledge it as jealousy – that you could eat Chaeyoung out so enthusiastically but were now so reluctant to even clean her up. She stood up and scowled down at you as you got out from under the chair.

“What’s wrong with you today?” she asked snippily. Perhaps not the best way to start this conversation, but she was too angry to care.

You looked up at her in surprise. “Nothing, why?” you asked. If anything, you thought, you should be the one who was annoyed. You didn’t know what it was, but she’d been so eager that she’d started even before you were in the right position, and there was urine all over your face and neck, some even dripping into your hair.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you giving me an attitude,” she accused. “Every time I come back from Kai’s you act like this. I’m sorry if you dislike my boyfriend—” her tone of voice was most decidedly not sorry “—but you’re being so unreasonable! What are you, jealous?”

Your temper flared for the first time since you’d been living here. “Jealous?!” you scoffed. “Of your relationship with that ignorant manchild? I don’t think so. Sorry,” you sneered, turning it back onto her, “that I don’t like to eat Kai’s cum out of your pussy every time you fuck him. I’m your recycler, but I don’t need to be treated like that.”

With that, you stormed off to wash her piss off your face and body from where it had trickled before you’d managed to get your mouth firmly over her. Jennie, on the other hand, lay on the bed, feeling incredibly guilty for blowing up at you just now. She hoped you’d come back soon so that she could have a proper conversation with you about just now.

------------------------------

You ended up spending the whole night with Chaeyoung. Even though you weren’t exactly in the mood to continue your exploits with her after your fight with Jennie, she was happy to welcome you into her room and gave you lots of cuddles, letting you rant patiently until you wore yourself out and fell asleep.

In the morning, you were still reluctant to leave the room and face Jennie, preferring to continue sulking in Chaeyoung’s bed. Unfortunately, nature called, and she dragged you out of the room for breakfast. You were surprised to see that Jennie was already in the living room, and when she saw you walking out, she immediately stood up and called your name. “Y/n, can we talk?”

Not in the mood to be reamed out again first thing in the morning, you responded coolly. “I’m hungry, can this wait until after breakfast?”

Chaeyoung, standing behind you, nudged you. She could see in Jennie’s expression and body language how much the fight with her recycler had bothered her and felt kind of bad for her even though she did think that Jennie had been out of line in what she’d said to you last night.

“Fine,” you grumbled.

“Thank you,” Jennie said quietly before turning and walking into her room. You followed, closing the door behind you but standing right in front of it.

“Y/n-ie, please,” Jennie pouted at you, patting the bed next to her. Obviously, you couldn’t resist that look, so with a put-upon sigh, you crossed the room to sit next to her.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she said. The unexpected apology threw you for a loop, and you blinked at her, speechless. “I shouldn’t have said those things and accused you. That was rude of me.”

“Uhh…” you managed to get out, sounding, of course, like the most articulate genius who had ever roamed this earth.

“And I’m sorry for getting in the way of your, um… relations with Chaeng. I should have been more respectful, and I support your relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” you murmured. It was the only thing your mind could focus on at the moment.

“You’re not?” Jennie blinked.

“No, we’re just, um… friends with benefits, I guess,” you clarified.

“Oh.” Then, after a beat of silence, “Well, it’s none of my business anyway. I just want you to know that I think you deserve your privacy, and I was really rude last night.”

Feeling bad now, you reached over to take her hand. “Unnie, don’t say that. Of course it’s your business. You’re still my donator and I want us to be close too. I promise to be more open about it with you, okay?”

She made a face. “Not that open, I hope. I’m still traumatized from seeing Chaeng naked.”

You giggled. “You’ve lived together for years! You don’t mean to tell me you’ve never seen her naked before?”

“I never had to stare straight up her asshole before,” Jennie countered, causing the both of you to erupt in fits of laughter.

“Duly noted,” you conceded past giggles. “You seemed like you were in a bad mood last night too, unnie. Is everything going okay with you and Kai?” you asked with some concern.

She made a face. “It’s okay. He’s just having trouble adjusting to me having a recycler,” she explained. Last night they’d gotten into yet another argument over you – specifically, over her refusal to simply command you to get on your knees and drink his piss just because he wanted it. She didn’t quite understand why it was so hard for him to accept that you were a person, and she wasn’t about to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.

Almost against her will, she started comparing Kai to you, even though she knew that was an unwise idea that was sure to have no good consequences. You, who was always there for her with your big eyes and big smile and a hug every time she felt bad, who knew the best and worst parts of her and didn’t shy away. It was unreasonable for her to expect the same of Kai, who was busy all the time with his own career and who obviously wasn’t as comfortable with her body as you were.

“I’m sorry I’m causing problems in your relationship, unnie,” you said, your eyes filled with remorse.

“No, it’s not your fault,” she rushed to assure you, pulling you into a hug. “He’s just being a dick right now.”

“I’m sorry for being mean last night too, unnie,” you apologized, looking at her with those wide, sad eyes that she couldn’t resist.

“It’s okay, baby, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize how unpleasant that whole experience was for you,” she said, making a little face. It hadn’t even occurred to her, but now that she thought about it, she realized how it would have been pretty gross for you, especially if you didn’t particularly like Kai. “I’ll talk to him about it to figure something out, okay?”

Your face was buried in her neck, but she felt your nod anyway.

---------------------------------

Perhaps she should have expected that the demise of her relationship would come soon after she started comparing you with Kai in her head. After all, there was no way he could have won that competition, even if he’d been the nicest man alive – which he definitely wasn’t.

Still, she hadn’t expected her relationship to end quite so soon and so abruptly. Sitting in the driver’s seat of her car in the basement carpark of Kai’s private apartment, she was crying too hard to be able to drive safely.

The night had started relatively well – Kai was on his best behavior after their fight the other night, and they’d had a nice dinner together. After that, however, when they retired to the bedroom, was when things started going downhill. Out of consideration to you, Jennie had brought a box of condoms that she tried to convince Kai to use, and he didn’t take it well, to say the least.

“What is this? Are you accusing me of something? We haven’t used condoms in months!” he said irritably, knocking the box out of her hands.

“Oppa, please, it’s not like that!” she pleaded.

“Then what is it? Are you off birth control?” he demanded.

“No… the IUD is still in,” she said meekly. YG had made them all get them before debut so that they wouldn’t accidentally get pregnant, even if they were having secret relationships.

“Then tell me why!”

“Why does there have to be a reason?! Isn’t it enough that I want you to use them? It’s my body too!” she yelled, getting defensive.

“I’m not saying no, I just want to know why!” he rebutted.

“Fine,” she said, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Y/n doesn’t like it when you leave your load inside me. It drips out after and she doesn’t like how it tastes.” She’d been hoping that the explanation would be enough, and they could get on with their night, but he grew even more angry at hearing the reason.

“Y/n?!” He exploded. “Who the fuck cares what she thinks? She’s your recycler, for God’s sake, not your girlfriend!”

“Oppa, please, she’s still my responsibility and we’re going to be together for a long time! I just don’t want to make her upset!”

“No, you don’t, so you’d rather sacrifice our relationship!”

“Our relationship? Oppa, please be reasonable, it’s just one little thing!”

He stopped short and looked at her somberly. “It’s not,” he told her. “You’re literally putting your recycler above me, above our relationship. You think her happiness is more important than mine.”

“It’s not! Oppa, please!” she begged, tears in her eyes.

“If you insist on the condoms… we’re over, Jennie-yah. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t prioritize me in her life.”

The ultimatum took her aback, and she stared at him with wide eyes for a minute, silently begging him to take it back, to explain that he’d just said that in the heat of the moment, and he didn’t actually want to end their relationship. But he didn’t, sitting down heavily on the bed instead and looking away from her.

Sadly, she began to collect her things from the room. “I didn’t want it to end like this, oppa,” she said softly.

“I know.” That was the last thing he said before she left.

With her vision still blurry from the tears, Jennie fumbled in her bag in the passenger seat to get her phone. She needed to hear your voice.

“Hello?” You picked up almost immediately, having had your phone next to you while you ate with Chaeyoung and Jisoo. Lisa was at the studio again practicing for a dance shoot. “Unnie? What’s up?”

Jennie sniffled. Hearing that, your mind shot into overdrive. “Unnie? Are you okay? Are you crying? Where are you?”

Right. Words were necessary. “We broke up,” was all she could say, though.

It was enough. You stood up so quickly that both Jisoo and Chaeyoung looked over with concern. “What? Are you still at his place?”

Jennie nodded, then realized you couldn’t see it. “Carpark,” she confirmed. “Can’t drive.”

“Okay, you just wait there, okay, unnie? We’ll come get you,” you assured her.

“Okay,” she sniffled, but didn’t want to hang up. “Y/n-ie? Can you stay on the phone?”

“Of course,” you promised. “Just give me a sec, okay?” She put the phone down and quickly explained what was going on to Jisoo and Chaeyoung, then the three of them got up and drove over to Kai’s apartment complex. On the way, you stayed on the phone with Jennie, continuing to talk to her about nothing while she just listened, letting you distract her.

You had some trouble with the security at the building, since of course they weren’t about to let some random people into the apartment complex, but since both Chaeyoung and Jisoo were in the car, they figured nothing bad could happen and finally let you in after you promised that you were just there to pick up someone.

It wasn’t difficult to spot Jennie’s car in the parking lot, since it was fairly empty, and you got out of the car and sprinted to her, pulling open the door on the driver’s side and peering in. Jennie was hunched forward, her hands grasping the top of the steering wheel and her forehead resting on her hands, and she turned to look up at you when she heard the door open.

“Y/n-ie—” she managed to get out, before bursting into tears again.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you soothed, leaning in to give her an awkward hug and stroking her back. “Let’s get into the backseat, okay? Jisoo-unnie can drive your car home.”

Sniffling, Jennie nodded, climbing out of the driver’s seat and into the back. You followed after her, shutting the door, and Jennie immediately lay down with her head in your lap.

As you stroked her hair, Jisoo got into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine, starting the drive home. Chaeyoung followed in her own car.

Jennie continued crying for a while, then seemed to fall into a light doze while you draped your arm around her. You had to wake her up to get her back into the apartment, but you hadn’t let go of her the entire time, offering support and physical comfort where words failed you.

------------------------------------

Over the next few days, all the girls seemed to coalesce around Jennie, giving her hugs and making sure she was eating and drinking. The difficult part about being an idol was that even though she felt like shit about her breakup, she still had to go to fan meetings, interviews and events, acting like she was happy and chipper and that nothing was wrong.

It was during those times that she sought your support the most. You were always there in the wings or in the audience, milling around with the staff and sending her encouraging smiles and gestures whenever you saw her looking at you. During breaks and between commitments, you would always be by her side, holding her hand or giving her cute hugs and telling her what a great job she was doing.

Even as time passed and she started to get better, she continued to rely on your encouragement, which you eagerly gave. Your relationship grew closer than ever, and Jennie would have been pleased if she hadn’t been so confused. She’d initially wanted a recycler for the sisterly relationship she thought she could foster, but even though you were doing all the things she’d expected and hoped for, she didn’t think of you as a sister.

Instead, she found herself looking at you while you were doing other things, admiring the way your lashes rested against your cheekbones and the focused furrow of your brow. The times of day when she would seek you out because she had to pee became her favourite, purely because she had your entire attention.

Okay, that was a lie. She was starting to love the inherent eroticism of the act, even though that had never been something she’d considered before. The feeling of your lips caressing her slit, your eyes looking up at her with such joy and devotion even as she was peeing in your mouth, the conscientious way you always licked her clean after… she hoped you weren’t noticing the way she would bite her lip when she felt your ministrations on her.

Once, on a really hard day when she’d been at an awards show that included EXO, you’d been extra sweet to her when she decided she couldn’t take it and excused herself to go to the restroom. You’d found her in a deserted corridor, pacing around with her hands on her hips.

“Unnie?” you called, skipping over to her. “You okay?”

“Oh,” she relaxed as she looked up and saw you. “Yeah, I’m fine, sweetie. Just a little stressed out from everything.”

Reaching her, you gave her a hug that she gratefully sank into. “I’m sorry, unnie. Just a little longer, okay? Fighting!”

Pulling back to look her in the face, you were surprised when she instead leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re always so good to me, Y/n-ie.”

You giggled bashfully. “It’s the least I could do, unnie. You’re always so thoughtful of me! I just want to make you happy too.”

Your cuteness made her want to hug you more tightly, but the urgent needs of her body had to take precedence for now. She let you go and pulled back, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Stress drinking water was really not the way to go when at an awards show, she admonished herself.

“You look like you’re in a bit of a state there, unnie,” you teased even as you dropped to your knees in front of her.

“Oh, shut up,” she groaned, leaning against the wall and throwing her head back as you pulled her panties and safety shorts down. The short dress she was wearing may look impractical, but it was actually immensely helpful for situations such as this.

“It’s okay, unnie,” you soothed as you stroked her hip, shuffling closer. “I’ve got you,” you said right before pressing your lips to her pussy, your mouth open to catch her urine.

The feeling of your soft, warm lips on her pussy and the tender, reassuring words you said right before you put them there was almost too much for Jennie, and she had to close her eyes to regain composure before she did something ridiculous like try to grind her clit against your face. Focus, she reminded herself sternly. She wasn’t going to be one of those donators who exploited her recycler, someone who was in a position completely dependent on her.

By this point, peeing in your mouth was as natural to Jennie as using a toilet had been in the past, and it didn’t take any effort at all for her to start the stream. She let out a big sigh of relief as pee started jetting out of her. She’d really had to go, and the feeling of letting it out was almost euphoric, making her shudder with how good it felt.

Your gaze drifted up to her face, her brow slightly furrowed and her mouth open as she continued peeing in your mouth. You were gulping it down as quickly as possible, trying desperately to keep up with her stream, but you couldn’t help but notice how sexy she looked like that. You could almost imagine her making that face for a different reason, and slightly embarrassed at the direction that your thoughts had taken, you lowered your gaze once again.

As you did so, Jennie opened her eyes and looked down at you, struck by the view. You looked completely focused on your task of drinking the pee she’d held in her body for so many hours. Was there a purer expression of devotion, of care, than this? The last of her pee drained out of her into your mouth, and you smiled up at her before licking her clean.

This time, you took extra care to get every bit, swirling your tongue gently as you lapped at her core. When you were done, you pressed tender, wet kisses to either side of her, then one directly over her clit, gazing up at her as you did so. She definitely deserved a little bit more love today. Kai had been staring at her the entire time, and you knew she was stressed.

When you were done, you helped her back into her clothes silently. “Shall we head back, unnie?” you asked with a smile.

“You go ahead,” she demurred. “I need a minute before I can go back in there.” She intentionally phrased it so you’d think she was talking about Kai, and you squeezed her arm sympathetically before leaving her, licking your lips clean as you went.

When she thought about what she’d done next instead, she still flushed. Instead of cooling off, she all but ran into the restroom down the hall, a room she’d honestly thought she’d never have to set foot in again, and had her hand in her panties the moment the stall door clanged shut. With one hand frigging herself desperately and the other covering her mouth to make sure no errant noises escaped, she brought herself to a hasty, unfulfilling orgasm. It didn’t matter, though. It was enough to cool her blood for the time being.

After washing her hands and cleaning up, Jennie returned to the awards ceremony, where Jisoo immediately draped an arm around her shoulders and started stroking her hair comfortingly. You must have told the other girls that she’d been having a hard time with Kai here, she thought. She appreciated your concern, but it really made things all the more awkward for her when instead of freaking out about it, she’d been off masturbating to the thought of you drinking her piss and eating her out.

The situation eventually grew more serious, to the point that Jennie was sure she was doing a piss-poor (ha) job at keeping it a secret. How was she supposed to get her head on straight when you literally had your mouth on her cunt multiple times every day?

---------------------------------

You could, in fact, confirm that Jennie wasn’t keeping her growing attraction to you under wraps. It wasn’t her fault – she couldn’t exactly help the fact that she was often wet when you got on your knees from her. You could literally see the arousal shining on her pussy before she covered your face with it, and the way the slick smeared on your face was kind of a dead giveaway.

Still, you didn’t say or do anything because you didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, trusting that she would speak up if she wanted to. It would only make things awkward if you pushed her before she was ready. After all, if she turned you down or denied it, you’d still be stuck to her 24/7, for the foreseeable future.

No, it was better for things to remain the way things were, you determined.

Despite your better judgement, however, you were still a little shit at heart and took pleasure in riling Jennie up and possibly hinting to her that you’d be open to a development in your relationship. You were getting increasingly bold with the liberties you took under the guise of ‘cleaning her’, sometimes even giving her clit a naughty little suck just to ‘get it all out’, or sliding your tongue so deep along her slit that you could taste her arousal.

She never broke though, even though you could feel the minute movements sometimes as she rocked her hips slightly in response to your ministrations, and she often ran off right after getting up off your face, probably to masturbate somewhere. Every time she did, you’d sigh and lick your lips clean, wishing she would let you help with that too.

Chaeyoung, predictably enough, found the whole thing hilarious. Having a front-row seat to your mutual crushes on each other was seriously top-notch entertainment, she thought, especially since you were both so utterly oblivious about your feelings. As your feelings for Jennie grew, you stopped seeking Chaeyoung out for sex, and your relationship instead mellowed into a tightly knit friendship. There were no hard feelings on either side, since Chaeyoung had mostly been in it for the sex anyway. Being a gay idol was really hard, and you’d provided physical and emotional support for a period of time.

These days, you mostly hid in Chaeyoung’s bed to whine about Jennie and cuddled her when she felt like she would never find a girlfriend, given the restrictions on her life as long as she was an idol. Jennie, however, didn’t know that, and increasingly was filled with jealousy whenever you disappeared to look for Chaeyoung. Once, when she’d seen pictures of a wedding between two of her cheer teammates, you’d ended up spending the whole night with her as she cried.

Jennie tried to be understanding – she knew that she didn’t own you, and that Chaeyoung was clearly going through something. But she was going through something too, god dammit, and she wished you would cuddle her and kiss her forehead and tell her it was all going to be okay the way you did with Chaeyoung sometimes on the couch.

Well, it would be difficult for you to do that with her since her issue was that she was falling for you, but still.

Chaeyoung was fully aware of Jennie’s jealousy, too. It wasn’t like she was even trying to be subtle about it, looking over and sighing or pouting whenever she saw the two of you wrapped up cozily together.

Eventually, when it got boring for Chaeyoung to deal with the longing, sidelong glances and wistful sighs, she finally decided to talk to Jennie about you.

Predictably enough, Jennie was reluctant, but Chaeyoung had, by this point, had years of experience prying secrets out of her older member, and was now adept at it. Call her the Jennie whisperer, she thought to herself as she invited Jennie for coffee, just the two of them, like they’d used to as trainees when Lisa and Jisoo were off doing whatever it was the two of them did alone.

Sipping her iced coffee, Chaeyoung eyed Jennie, noting the sadness she thought she was hiding as she stirred the sugar into her drink. “Unnie, are you okay? You just seem really down lately,” she prompted the older girl.

Jennie looked up in surprise, then relaxed. “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just Kai, y’know?”

“Unnie, that was months ago! What’s really bothering you?” Chaeyoung pressed.

Abruptly becoming defensive, Jennie’s shoulders drew up around her shoulders. “Nothing’s bothering me,” she said.

“All right,” Chaeyoung accepted, though it was clear from her raised brow that she didn’t believe her. “I’m glad we got to do this, unnie,” she continued with a smile. “We never get to spend time together anymore, just the two of us.”

“That’s true,” Jennie agreed. “We’re always so busy these days…”

“Yeah, and Y/n is always hanging around you too…”

It was like a cloud abruptly formed over Jennie’s head when she heard your name. “She’s not always hanging around me,” she muttered with some bitterness. Sometimes she was spending time with Chaeyoung, after all. It was just a little bit annoying for the person who’d been stealing time with her own recycler to be saying that.

“Unnie, come on! She never leaves your side,” Chaeyoung laughed. She was intentionally goading Jennie, but the older girl seemed to be falling for it hook, line and sinker without even realizing that she was being played.

“That is so not true,” Jennie huffed. Her jealousy got the better of her, and she snapped, “She’s always hanging around you these days.”

A beat of silence, then Chaeyoung said with delight, “Unnie, are you jealous?”

“What? N-no!” Jennie denied, flustered now. “Why would I be jealous? She’s just my recycler. She can sleep with whoever she wants.”

“Wait, who said anything about sleeping together? I thought we were talking about just hanging out.”

“We were, I mean—oh, fuck.” Caught red-handed, Jennie slumped miserably onto the table in front of her, hiding her face from her dongsaeng.

“You know, you should really just talk to her,” Chaeyoung said, uncaring of Jennie’s dramatics.

“I can’t,” Jennie protested, her voice muffled. “I have to be responsible for her. She’s going to think that I’m trying to pressure her.”

“Unless…” Chaeyoung trailed off, and Jennie raised her head to look at her.

“Unless?” she asked.

Chaeyoung winked. “Maybe she feels the same way about you.”

-------------------------------

Now that Chaeyoung had planted that thought in her mind, Jennie couldn’t stop thinking about it. She saw hints of it in the way you happily ran to give her a hug when she came home, the way you snuggled up to her at night, and in all the thoughtful little gestures that showed how much attention you paid to her. You brought her snacks and water during her meets and shoots when they ran overtime, and always encouraged her during practice and recording sessions.

As much as she tried not to overthink it, it was impossible not to read into the little ways you made her feel special especially when you were drinking from her. The cozy way your face nestled into her ass when she sat on the chair, or the almost reverent, worshipful way you looked up at her when she stood over you, the way you licked her clean so slowly and thoroughly that there was no way you were oblivious to how wet she became, and those sweet, soft kisses you’d taken to littering on her pussy when you were done licking her.

There was no way you’d do all that unless you felt some type of way for her, right?

Despite Chaeyoung’s intervention and her own increasing desire for more between the two of you, it actually took a rather embarrassing mistake on her part to force her hand.

Since she’d broken up with Kai, she’d entered somewhat of a sex drought, which meant it was easier than ever for you to turn her on, something you took pleasure in doing, especially at home on days when she didn’t have any schedules. She knew this, and yet she could never bring herself to stop you by getting up before you were done ‘cleaning’ her, always hungry for more.

On this particular day, your face was under her on the chair when she made the mistake of looking down at you between her legs. She could only see the lower half of your face, of course, yet the sight of your tongue so eager to please was definitely her new kryptonite, she decided on the spot. As you licked a stripe from her clit to her asshole, she shuddered and let out a soft moan, rolling her hips slightly to get more friction.

A second later, she paused and stiffened, hoping that you hadn’t heard that.

Unfortunately, from your giggle, she knew that was not the case, and started to rise, intending to beat a hasty retreat. Before she could get up, however, your arms shot out, grabbing her by the hips. “Unnie,” you whined.

“Y-Y/n,” she stammered, trying harder to shake off your grasp and stand up. Eventually, you let her, but when she turned back to look at you, you were pouting up at her through the hole in the seat.

“Unnie, don’t you want me to finish?” you asked.

“You— I— what?” Reduced to stammering now, she started backing away from you, and you hastily got out from under the seat to sit on the ground.

“I mean, I knew that you were liking it more than you wanted to admit,” you told her, your eyes wide with sincerity. “I don’t mind helping you out, you know.”

“But… but Chaeyoung…” Jennie was grasping at straws now.

You shrugged. “We haven’t slept together in months, unnie. I want this,” you said, leaning forward. “If you’re okay with it, that is.”

“Wait… what is it you want exactly?” She didn’t think she could handle just being friends with benefits with you, even if her libido was screaming at her to take what she could get.

“I want to be your recycler… friend… girlfriend, if you want…?” You peeked up at her from under your lashes, nervous now from laying all your cards on the table.

“Really?” She knelt on the floor to look you in the eye properly. “You really want that? You’re not just saying it because you think I do?”

“You do?” Surprise coloured your tone. “I thought you were just horny after your breakup.”

Jennie flushed. “Well, I mean, there is that,” she coloured. “But no… I really do have feelings for you. It’s probably part of why my relationship with Jongin-oppa didn’t work out.”

You giggled. “Well, if you don’t mind… I’d love to give this a shot,” you confessed.

“I would love that too,” Jennie breathed, leaning in to kiss you, because she needed to occupy her mouth with something before she blurted out something stupid, like that she loved you.

To her surprise and displeasure, however, you leaned back when it became clear what she was trying to do. “Wait, wait! Don’t you want me to brush my teeth or something?” you asked, clapping a hand over your mouth.

She laughed. “I don’t care, silly,” she said, pulling you closer with a hand on the nape of your neck. With that out of the way, you eagerly draped your arms around her neck and pulled her close for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and everything you’d dreamed of with her… until she broke away to pull you to her bed.

“Moving a little fast there, aren’t you, unnie?” you giggled as she straddled you. She hadn’t put her clothes back on, so she was wearing only a shirt.

“You’ve been teasing me for months,” she complained as she leaned down to kiss you again, this one deeper and filthier, leaving you breathless.

“Fair enough,” you said, letting her pull your shirt off. You retaliated by stripping hers off too, and then she shuffled down to take care of your shorts and panties. “What do you want to do?”

She moved with a sense of purpose and drive that indicated she’d thought about this a lot, shuffling up to your face and straddling it, facing your body. Leaning forward, she pulled your legs apart and ran her fingers along your soaked slit before raising her fingers to her mouth. “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw Chaeng on top of you,” she growled before lowering her pussy to your face.

You ate her out ravenously, excited after all those months of stolen moments where you gradually pushed the limits to see where she would draw the line. You already knew how she tasted, but you wanted her to use you for her pleasure, grind on your face and moan and scream when you made her feel good.

Diligently, you lapped at her clit, experimenting with different strokes and speeds until you found one that seemed to make her go crazy. She dropped her head, pressing her cheek to your thigh for a few seconds before regaining composure and redoubling her efforts to make you cum. Of course, this was a competition she was bound to lose, since you’d had a head start earlier.

“Unnie, your cunt tastes so good,” you moaned into her core between the sucking and licking. “Your piss is so fucking tasty too, I love it.”

Your nasty words spurred her on, and she ground her pussy against your face, groaning at the stimulation on her clit. “Fuck, you feel so good,” she huffed, forgetting about your pleasure as she chased her own relentlessly. “Such a nasty little slut for me, aren’t you?”

Since it didn’t seem like she had the bandwidth to, you took over stimulating yourself, rubbing at your clit with your fingers. “Yeah, I’m your dirty slut, unnie,” you gasped, before sucking her clit into your mouth and flicking it with your tongue repeatedly. The movement sent her stratospheric and she cried out as she came, gushing cream straight into your mouth.

“Oh, God,” she exhaled shakily when it was over, lifting herself off your face. “You’re such a good girl,” she praised, her fingers sliding along your cunt again and knocking your hand out of the way as she began fingering you in earnest, wanting to pay you back for the orgasm you’d just gifted her.

“Ah, unnie,” you moaned, your hips rising off the bed as you chased her touch. “That feels so good, yes, yes—” Your eyes closed, and you gasped, small, choked cries leaving your mouth as you came, clenching down on her fingers. She worked you diligently through it, only pulling her hand away when you started to make small noises of pain as overstimulation set in.

“That was so good, unnie,” you said in a soft, tired voice as she collapsed on the bed next to you. Pulling her close, you nuzzled your nose against hers.

“Likewise,” she smiled before her lips met yours in a kiss, this one chaste and sweet after your mutual lust had been slaked.

“Thank you for giving us a shot,” you murmured, closing your eyes in contentment.

“No,” she corrected you, wrapping her arms around you. “Thank you for being mine.”

You knew what she meant, and your lips lifted in a small smile. You would always be hers, and she would never forget to appreciate it. Neither of you were willing to call it love yet, but you knew that would come. There was no rush – you were her recycler, you’d always be together.

#kwritersworldnet #ksmutclub #blackpink smut #blackpink scenarios #girl group scenarios #jennie smut #rose smut

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

A Little Pick-Me-Up (Connor x Reader)

Summary: Connor decides to come to over to your apartment to check up on you after a mission gone wrong but comes to find out that you weren't expecting the RK800 to show up so late at night. Awkward feelings ensue for both. 

A/N: Connor is best boi and I love him so much. Also, this is mainly in his perspective as well as in the third person.

Also found on A03

Words:  2,911

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"I don't think she's doing too well, son."

Connor's eyes flitted up to the older male opposite him by his desk, a dour expression present on his face. 

"Who do you mean, Lieutenant?" Connor had placed his concern. He didn't need to really grasp exactly who Hank was talking about, getting the gist that it had to do with someone that they both knew. And Connor was quick to put two and two together. "I looked over Detective L/N's vitals and conditions and they're minor. Is there something wrong?"

"Yeah, that's the thing, I don't fucking think she is, Connor. She barely even said a word in the car, let alone we got back." Hank stated, his eyes flickering to behind Connor's head. "And besides, she didn't even say anything when she left."

Connor's head turned back towards the entrance of the station where he was able to scan quickly that indeed, you had left without a goodbye. How he hadn't been able to sense you leaving left him rather baffled and upset that you hadn't come over to them. 

The two of you always said goodbye before you left, your warm smile and eyes looking to him when you waved farewell, your eyes always seemed to keep him rigid in his spot, unable to let him function. "She did seem upset earlier. Could it of been to do with the deviant?"

"That was what I was assuming." Hank sighed heavily, his face read easily to Connor that he was more than just tired with the situation and the leads that came back to nothing. 

"Sometimes, human emotions are harder to understand. It's our blessing and fucking curse if you ask me." He paused briefly, looking over his android partner. "Do you mind going to check on her, Connor? I'm sure you would brighten her world with how she's feeling." 

"What about you, Lieutenant? I'm supposed to finish reading the reports." He was uncertain, or apart of his programming told him that, should he go do this? Connor was certain that you didn't really want to see anyone right now, but the possibility of cheering you up was high. 

76% chance of success. "Oh it's fine, I can get Wilson to get a look at it, and besides... you did enough already today." Hank huffed to himself, muttering, "God, why must I sound so soppy?"

"If that is okay with you? I will go to detective L/N's place to see her right away," Connor confirmed, standing already from his desk. "Woah, wait, you sure you don't need her address or something? I don't think walking around Detroit is a good idea." Suggested Hank. 

"Don't worry, Lieutenant. That's why I already looked through detective L/N's profile when we first met and found her details, just in case." Connor's simple words were enough to make Hank look at him in disbelief, shaking his head.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Connor, do you know how creepy if you ask me -- look, I don't even want to know where you found it-- oh whatever... fricking young people and their weird love, I guess."

Connor didn't exactly understand the meaning of what his partner had muttered, his LED spinning momentarily yellow before neutralising to a light blue. It didn't matter now when the RK800 had brought up your address into his vision, slowly retreating from Hank to take his leave. 

"Have a good night, Hank."

"Yeah, yeah, just tell Y/N I hope she's doing okay." Hank gave a brief wave as Connor left the building, entering the cold night with no distress against the sudden drop in temperature. The blue objective came over, and he scanned it into his peripheral:

Objective: Get to Y/N's.

-

Your apartment complex seemed quaint and warm. That was what Connor first thought - of course, he shouldn't have allowed himself to have such opinions or thoughts - when he entered the main entrance entryway, ascending to the fifth floor to get to your level as he walked down the long, dimly lit corridors. 

He finally came to your door, the wooden door had been beaten in with its white paint job fading and chipping. Perhaps it wasn't as nice as Connor had expected.

He gave a firm knock on the door when he stopped himself from hesitating, the three knocks were enough to bring a long pause from the inside, before shuffling came closer to the door before it was unlocked and opened, revealing yourself to him. He had only just heard the soft buzzing of a stereo play in the background of your flat, softly it lulled him into a sense of comfort that he didn't think was possible in feeling. 

"Connor," Your voice was oddly composed with a tint of surprised by his presence, your eyes darting back and forth between him and the inside of your door, "what are you doing here?"

"Lieutenant Anderson and I believed you weren't feeling too good after the mission this afternoon, so I came by to see if you were well." Connor kept it formal still regardless whether it was an out of work talk or not, but he couldn't decipher why his thirium pump regulator was pumping at an astronomical rate just from staring at you. 

He took a quick scan of your features, the tiredness in your eyes could've been excused but there was a likelihood it had been from something else; since Connor could tell that your eyes had been rather puffy and red. You gave him a gentle smile, the corners of your eyes wrinkling even when you had looked so blue.

Y/N HAD BEEN CRYING?

"I'm fine, Connor, I promise. Just... didn't sleep so good these last couple of nights." Your cheeks seemed to heat up on sight, Connor had noticed, and you standing there in your pyjamas and hair tied up when you would usually wear such formal blouses and trousers, he couldn't deny that there was much more than just agreeing you were aesthetically pleasing to look at.

You were very pretty regardless, he confirmed. 

"Detective, I may suggest that the coffee intake you have daily may be contributing to your lack of sleep," Connor informed, his brown eyes lit up, watching your facial expressions.

Your face was flushed as you rolled your eyes playfully at his words. His inquisitive gaze never faltered as he observed. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You know you sound just like Hank, he complains too if I'm slacking." You gave a soft smile, holding the doorframe taut in your fingers. 

When you finally looked up to him, there seemed to be a hesitant uncertainty hiding in your eyes, nervous, Connor knew from how your heart rate had caught up. He titled his head to get a proper look at you, curious as to what you would do or say. 

"Do you... um, would you like to come in, Connor? Of course, if you're not too busy."

The smile that the RK800 gave you was lopsided, nervous as much as you had been looking, stroking his fingers with little thought. "That would be kind of you, detective." Your face lit up when he accepted, and excitedly, you took his hand to lead him inside. 

Had your hands always been this warm? They were pleasant and comforting, silently wishing he could hold your hand forever, Connor slipped inside your cosy flat, his LED spinning a constant yellow at the feel of so many questions and unknown emotions.

ˢᵒᶠᵗʷᵃʳᵉ ᴵⁿˢᵗᵃᵇⁱˡⁱᵗʸ

"Please, you don't need to be so formal around me, just Y/N." You smiled sheepishly to him, your frame still close to the doorframe as possible. 

You looked innocent, pure and cute in Connor's eyes, the need to protect you washed over him so many times when he had been protecting you from an oncoming bullet, but this feeling that swelled in his chest? It made him feel much more than just warmth.

His attention from you was disrupted with a soft growl that came from behind him, and when he had turned, he hadn't expected to see such a small creature growl towards him. You intervened quickly. 

"Clover! Stop that!" The small black and tan dog hushed with its growling towards Connor who still held a curious and awestruck expression now towards the small creature.

Y/N LIKES DOGS. 

"I'm sorry about her, she's never usually so yappy with new people." You sheepishly gained Connor's attention with a squeeze of his fingers that were still entwined. His gaze fell from your fingers to your face once more, giving you once more a timid smile. "It's okay. I like dogs." 

"So I have been told." Y/N smiled back at him, finally letting go of her grasp of his fingers, pulling away almost out of awkwardness. "Go on, have a look around if you want, I was just making dinner, I'll be in the living room shortly." 

Connor nodded, intrigued, to say the least with your place as he went to explore and learn much more about you in ways he didn't think he would. 

When you finally emerged from your small kitchen, Connor was stiffly kneeled in front of your corgi, trying to make amends by gingerly stroking the top of her head, Clover finally giving in and allowing the android to stroke her.   

"You've made a new friend, I see?" You smiled at the sight, Connor turning his head to see you walk over to sit on your couch just in front of him. 

"She's very soft." Connor softly spoke, as if careful of how he moved when he was next to this 12kg corgi. The sight alone was enough to make Y/N giggle, trying to suppress it when she didn't want to be spotted by Connor. 

Connor finally moved to stand, coming to sit stiffy beside you on the couch, so close that your bodies were touching side by side that he didn't think he would be able to take much longer having you there so close to him, he believed his stress levels would go up so high that he would simply just explode. 

You turned to him to look at him from the side on, smiling broadly to him. "Hey, wanna watch a movie?" 

Connor couldn't help but even feel his Adam's apple bob in the motion when he didn't even need to do so, gulping unnecessary when you turned on your tv to stream a movie, the movie he wasn't even paying attention to when he had been glancing back and forth to you every few seconds when the film began.

You had sensed his uncomfortable and stiff posture, smiling as you rested your head on his shoulder, almost immediately feeling him stiffen even more at the surprise touch. 

"Just relax, Connor." You murmured, trying to hide your own blush as you keep your eyes trained as much as you could on the movie.

The RK800 finally did relax, loosening his shoulders as he hesitantly put an arm around you, holding you in his embrace, his back reclining into the cushion of the couch as he finally eased to watch the film, trying his best to ignore the feelings in his heads.

ˢᵒᶠᵗʷᵃʳᵉ ᴵⁿˢᵗᵃᵇⁱˡⁱᵗʸ

Halfway through the film, he could sense you had stopped paying attention, and when he had glanced to look down at you, your soft and warm eyes were already looking up at him. He could feel the thirium in his body pump faster, "Is there something wrong, Y/N?"

You blinked yourself out of your staring, looking back and forth to him and the film as you slowly quietened at the sound. "I guess I can tell you why I wasn't feeling so good earlier today."

Connor shifted his body so that he could properly face you, look at your expressions and eyes, his hands came almost instinctively to touch at your knuckles, softly and slowly touching at the skin. "You can tell me anything, Y/N."

A sad smile washed over your features, squeezing his fingers tightly, and before him, Connor believed you may begin to cry again. 

"Hank was always so quick to chastise me if I did something wrong, always. But I knew that he meant the most for my career. Back downtown, I never felt so useless in trying to bring down a deviant, even stooping so low to almost get myself killed when I got shoved off the ledge."

Connor watched intently and closely, watching you hug yourself in support. "You had helped Hank from the ledge... but why me? Why had you saved me, when you could've caught up and gotten it?" You questioned hoarsely, sullen. 

“Because you were assigned to be my partner, as well as Lieutenant Anderson. I couldn't let you fall, regardless of whether the chances of survival were high or not." Connor spoke, but still, all you could think of was one thing; being nothing more than just a statistic.

"Am I just that though, Connor? Do those at Cyberlife make you feel any empathy for your human partners? Am I just a statistic to you?" It was clear to him that through your voice you were distraught, upset. 

His makers had made him so that he was faster and more efficient, the best deviant hunter there was in Detroit, to never feel such emotions because they were for deviants... and yet, he couldn't stop himself from feeling such a way with you.

"Y/N, you're more than just a statistic. You're bright, kind and funny. You withstand Detective Reed, Lieutenant Hank and his criticisms, but most of all," he gave a nervous bated breath once more and exhaled accidentally, "you put up with having an android partner, and never once did you complain about it."

"You're more than just an android of a plastic partner, Connor, you're human, whether you admit it or not." Y/N admitted, darting her eyes away from him as if nervous how he would react. 

"I don't think it is you deviating, but it is certainly much more than just coding or programming in your system telling you what is right and wrong through probability."

"What do you think it is then, Y/N?" He involuntarily felt his body lean closer into you as if feeling for this warmth that only you had, and he needed more of it to be pumped into his body, to help him feel alive. 

You gave a timid smile, your head leaning closer into him to meet him halfway, your eyes searching his as his LED spun constant yellow in questioning. "Connor, what are you thinking right now? Do you see anything?" You asked him softly, the fan of your breath across your cheek was tender.

"No," Connor confessed, "it's like I'm... doing this without... without needing to know what to do or the options." It felt clear to him, but it confused him greatly. It seemed almost as if he was in a state of spontaneity and impulse without him needing to know what he had to do or say. 

"Good," You whispered almost sweetly, your hand came to tenderly come to straighten his jacket. "just let it do what you think is right. Just switch it off." 

Connor swallowed once more, his brown eyes glancing back and forth towards your eyes and then your lips before slowly, he leant further forward until your foreheads were touching, breaths held, waiting whether or not you would pull away or push him off.

 Instead, you slowly craned your neck upwards, capturing his lips softly, carefully and shyly.

His lips were warm and didn't feel as plastic as you had imagined, there was a softness that came from them like humans had with their flesh and skin, and it was so lifelike, so incredible that you didn't believe that this was happening.

Connor brought his fingers to touch at the side of your face, pulling you ever-so-close to him as he wrapped his other hand around your waist, deeply kissing you with as many nerves as you had been feeling.

You finally pulled away first, first to look at his dishevelled and astonished expression, his cheeks heated with a light blue tint, his LED a steady blue. You laughed timidly, and he had too, like the two of you had been blushing young school kids and weren't experienced in kissing whatsoever. 

It was short but nice, his lips feeling amazing and you had already missed the feeling of them against yours.

"I-- wow," you breathed out, the smile on your face never faltering, sincerely you looked at him. Connor smiled back just as toothily, looking down to see that Clover had snuggled her body to fit between his feet, the sight alone was adorable. 

He wrapped his arm around you once more, allowing you to rest your head against his shoulder as he rested his head against yours. "I don't want this to end." He confessed smoothly.

"Me neither." You grinned, yawning, your eyes slowly drooping. "Stay here for the night, please?" You held his hand once more, his fingers smoothing over your knuckles to give you great comfort. Connor kissed your hairline with tenderness, ignoring everything and anything as he slowly laid beside you. "Of course." 

The two of you had fallen asleep quickly, with Connor going into static mode, waiting for when he was able to spend the next day with you so lovingly.  

#detroit being human #Detroit: BH #detroit become human #detroit connor #detroit become human connor #dbh connor x reader #DBH #dbh fluff #dbh connor fluff #fluffy fic #dbh oneshot #assassin's creed syndicate oneshot #dbh connor oneshot #dbh connor #connor rk800 #dbh connor x human reader

[kittycatasaurus]

Hisirdoux x Reader // Word count:1.5k No warnings I don’t think?

This was purely self indulgent since there isn’t too much fic of my boy, decided I’d post it in case anyone else wants some douxie love but be warned I haven’t finished a fanfic in years so it might flow poorly and I have no clue how to write speech lmao. I’m pretty sure it’s genderneutral, please let me know if I used masc/fem pronouns for reader anywhere and I’ll make sure to check carefully if I post anymore fics. Hope at least one person enjoys it but anywho let’s go!

Today was a normal day, average in most every way (for being a day you dared to venture outside). The weather was pleasant and mild, the streets weren’t too busy, and soon enough you would be meeting up with a friend to spend the weekend sleeping over at their apartment. Fortunately for you they lived in the same area, hence you were familiar with the specific building of flats where they resided, however, it had been a while since you’d stepped foot inside one of said architectures. This, paired with the many urban legends you’d heard over the years of ghosts and spirits transporting folks into different dimensions, led to a paranoia of elevators in tall housing complexes. Five or less floors was as comfortable as you would desire ideally. But alas, your friend lived almost on the top floor, meaning it was the elevator for no more than a few minutes, or dozens of flights of stairs. As much as you had your fears, you didn’t feel like walking up all those stairs to arrive exhausted before your friend, so you sucked it up and boarded the elevator. The fact that no one else was inside both put you on edge and caused you to let out a sigh of relief, elevator journeys always feel awkward with a stranger or two.

As you were letting out your nervous breath with closed eyes, you failed to notice one other person board the elevator before the doors shut on their own. Opening your eyes after a few seconds, you were startled by the presence of a young (looking) man dressed in punk-ish attire. The embarrassing noise you let out startled the man as well who turned to face you, eyes wide and a question on his tongue, “Are, are you alright? Did I startle you? My apologies love.” The word ‘love’ broke you out of the trance you’d been under; simply gawking at the beautiful man before you, a blush erupting over your face at such a handsome person referring to you with such a term. Clocking that he’d genuinely asked you something before calling you love, you barely got out an answer, “YES! I mean, yes, thank you, sorry, I’m fine, just spaced out for a moment there…” Trailing off after that mess of a reply, you dropped your gaze to the floor of the elevator. Before the silence could settle the man chuckled before it shifted to full on laughter. Before you could even come up with your next thought, the man stopped his giggling fit to say “I hope that didn’t seem like I was laughing at you, I was really more laughing at your reaction to yourself, that was quite precious, the way you fumbled about with your words.” Honestly you’d probably be quite offended had he not said that with the sweetest smile you had ever had the fortune of witnessing. Still embarrassed, you simply gave a curt nod and resumed looking at the corner. The next few seconds continued in silence as you passed by over half the floors until the elevator came to an abrupt stop. When the doors failed to open upon this pause, it got you thinking something was unfortunately wrong. After a moment of holding your breath, the elevator still failed to either continue its ascension or open the doors, resulting in you letting an “Oh bother” slip out. The man seemed to just then realise the elevator was stuck himself and immediately hit the help button before him.

“Uh, try not to panic alright? I’m sure someone’ll be on their way to help soon so you don’t need to worry.” The stranger’s attempt to reassure and comfort you was greatly appreciated, however you weren’t so much frightened of being trapped in a tight and high up space as you were embarrassed to be in such an environment with a stranger, albeit a cute one. Not wanting to concern the kind man, you managed a somewhat more confident reply than earlier, “Thank you, but I’ll be fine, no worries, I wasn’t going to panic. Um, I really appreciate your consideration though.”

The man looked surprised for a moment before his mouth moved up into a smirk, “Huh, did I imagine our earlier chat or something, you sounded like a whole different person just now.”

His teasing once again caused your face to redden, but you didn’t let him shake you, rolling your eyes with an insincere huff.

“So, I don’t know about you but I’d rather we not spend the next however long in silence. How about we start with names? I’ll go first, the name’s Hisirdoux Casperan, but my friends call me Douxie.” He winked. This ‘Douxie’ character seemed to think he absolutely oozed charm (and he would be right but still) and despite not wanting to fall for it, you couldn’t keep the small grin off your face as he bowed dramatically.

“Nice to meet you Hisirdoux, you can call me (anytime) Y/N. So what brings you round these parts?” You replied.

The pleasant conversation kept up, you were amazed at how easy Douxie was to talk to. Normally the idea of having to talk to a stranger to fill up silence made you want to simply stop existing, but with Hisirdoux you found yourself wanting the chat to last forever. However, all good things must come to an end, you begrudgingly thought as someone finally showed up to pry open the door to allow you and Douxie to leave the elevator. Only then did you realise that the pair of you must have been stuck inside for a couple hours at least as your friend was nervously standing in the hall. Before going over to them, you stopped yourself, turning back to face Hisirdoux who was already looking at you forlorn. He snapped out of it the second he noticed you had turned back to face him though and you swore you could see a blush on his face. Jogging up to him you spoke with unbelievable confidence “I don’t know what I’ll do if I never see you again, so I’m going to have to ask for your number Douxie.”

Hisirdoux was both impressed and flustered by your bold line resulting in him writing his number on your arm with an uncharacteristically shy giggle. All the while your friend stood in awe mere feet away.

“I’ll call you tonight Doux?” You half stated, half asked as you backed up towards your friend. Douxie simply nodded in response as you both waved goodbye.

The second the door closed after you and your friend returned to their flat, your confident façade evaporated and your friend started freaking out as quietly as they could allow themselves to. “OMG OMG OMG” They started, “who was that? They were so cute? You were flirting!” The cheesiest grin was on their face all the while.

“Hush you! His name is Hisirdoux…” You grumbled, ever so embarrassed by their reaction. However, they were clearly not satisfied with the information given to them so you continued “We met on the elevator, what was I supposed to do after he started talking to me, ignore him? Besides you saw how cute he is.” The last part was muttered under your breath but your friend still managed to hear and proceeded to freak again. Deciding to ignore them for the time being, you pulled out your phone and saved Douxie into your contacts debating whether or not to text him yet. Your internal debate ended when you heard “do it” from your friend in a surprisingly soft tone. Looking up, you saw a gentle smile on their face, encouraging you to suck it up and send the boy a text, it was a simple line, just to do the job. “Hey Douxie, this is Y/N, from the elevator :)”, The text was sent before you could begin overthinking. After just a few moments, a reply came through “Thanks for specifying, I might not have remembered had you not mentioned the elevator we only got out of 20 minutes ago ;)” His sarcasm was just as pleasantly irritating through text as it had been in person and all you sent in response was a “>:p”. You pictured him laughing at that and could do nothing to stop the smile that overtook your face. Your friend decided to leave you to your daydreams as they returned to playing whatever game they had on, as Hisirdoux and you managed to continue chatting for hours until it became quite late and your eyes were struggling to stay open. As you let out another long yawn you heard your friend call out, “all right you, pack it in, you need to get to sleep now, say goodnight and finish up already.” After yet another grumble of reluctant agreement, you started on your last text of the night “Ugghhh my friend said I have to go to sleep now so goodnight I guess Doux. Sweet dreams, loverboy <3” Your tired brain had no filter for what was off bounds to say for having just met and you didn't think twice about sending a heart emoji before tucking yourself under the covers and closing your eyes, almost immediately zonking out. One last text came through, though you wouldn’t see it until morning, wishing you pleasant dreams as well, although Hisirdoux ended his message with ‘angel’, liking the name loverboy for himself.

#hisirdoux casperan #hisirdoux x reader #hisirdoux #toa hisirdoux #x reader #tales of arcadia #douxie #douxie x reader #hisirdoux casperan x reader #tales of arcadia x reader #toa fanfic

[anythingandeverything1d]

Falling (part 2)

 Part 1: https://anythingandeverything1d.tumblr.com/post/615981743290400768/falling

You looked at your watch, the concert was in a few hours and you instantly ran upstairs to get ready, fighting back the logic your brain warned you about and following your heart. You tore your closet open looking for the perfect outfit, but for what occasion. For the first time in months you softly smiled and let yourself think about the possibility of Harry. The nights that you missed so much, his soft hair in your fingers, his dimples, the way he kissed you, the way he laughed and told horrible jokes, all of it. “Ughhh” you moaned leaning back against the wall. “What am I getting myself into?”

30 minutes later and you had thrown almost every article of clothing you owned onto your bedroom floor. You had decided on black skinny jeans, a white crop top, and your hair had been thrown into a half bun (one of Harry’s favorite looks on you) “ugh what have I actually become” you mumbled to yourself while putting on some hot pink lip gloss and grabbing your jacket off the door. You grabbed the envelope with the tickets and opened the door revealing your friend. She looked you up and down with a suspicious glance. 

“Where are you going?”

“Uhh nowhere...”

“Nowhere?”

“Yep, I better get going..” She grabbed your wrist and stopped you. “You're going nowhere looking like that? Really? You expect me to believe that...” You glanced at the envelope quickly and nodded trying to continue out the door. “Whats this?” She took the envelope from your hand and peered inside. “Oh my god. You are not. Theres no way you are going to Harry’s concert..”

“I need to. Okay. I need to know. I need closure.” You ranted on a quick explanation of seeing him at the gas station and the note on the back of the ticket and sighed. “You don't understand...I need to go. I need to move on.”

“Fine then we are going together. There’s no way Im letting you make a stupid rash decision when he bats those eyes and smiles at you. Nope. If you're doing this, we are doing it together.” And with that you smiled, grabbed her hand and pulled her to the car. 

Harry’s POV:

Harry was pacing the dressing room. His mind was moving a million miles a minute but yet everything was focused on one thing. You. He was sweating, so nervous about what the night would bring. He had specifically chosen the pink suit you had picked out for him so long ago. Paired with the black button down he wore on your first date. He picked the outfit specifically for you tonight and he hoped it would work. Of course he hadn’t ever stopped thinking of you, but seeing you at the gas station had sealed the deal. He needed you back in his life. Even as a friend. He knew he had screwed up. It had only been a few months without you but he was crumbling slowly. He was the one who fucked everything up. He hadn’t been present in the relationship for a while. He had dragged you along for the journey. He would leave and not call or text. And then there was Sarah. He never wanted to cheat but after drinking too much it had happened and of course you had been there to see it happen. Sarah was great and Harry had flirted for a while...but there wasn’t a spark. There wasn't anything that was there when you were in his life. He knew the moment you said goodbye that he had ruined the best thing in his life. He got lucky his show was in town tonight and even more lucky that you still lived in the same apartment complex. He left the tickets and passes but had no idea if you would even show up. He just prayed. “Please (y/n)...please come...I need you..” he mumbled with his head down.

“What?” Mitch asked walking in.

“Nothing.” Harry said looking up. 

“Well 20 minutes till showtime.” 

“Okay. Hey is there anyone backstage looking for me or anyone using a backstage pass left in my name?” Harry asked anxiously.

“No. Not that I know of anyone. Who are you expecting Styles..a girl?” He wiggled his eyebrows and laughed as Clare, Sarah, and Adam walked in.

“Oh what’s going on. What are we teasing Harry about now?” Clare asked.

“A girl.” Mitch answered. 

“Shut up guys.” Harry mumbled looking at Sarah. She had agreed friends was better and he was glad because he felt nothing but that. It was still a little awkward though. “Let’s just go. It’ll be great right? We can do this.”

Your POV:

You and your friend has pushed up to the front where the seats were and you were shaking you were so nervous. Of course everyone acknowledged you as you walked in so it took forever to find your seats but luckily the lights were dimming as you sat down. Smoke rolled off the stage and everyone cheered. You stood up slowly feeling a little light headed. You looked up and he was there. His head down. His pink suit. Hair pushed back in a wave and a small smile in the corner of his mouth. It was too much. You pushed back a few rows to where you were no longer visible and sat down collecting yourself. You just listened to the music. He was amazing. His album was amazing...of course you already knew that because you had listened the moment it was released. He really was a super star. You were proud too because he had waited for this moment for years. 

Towards the end of the concert Harry had begun searching the crowd with his eyes. Scanning row by row until he found you. His green eyes locked on yours. His mouth slight parted and his breathing was heavy from the last song. He curved his mouth up into a smile, his eyes never leaving yours. “There’s a song I’ve been working on. I decided tonight to play it. I hope you all enjoy, Ive worked hard on it.” He nodded to the band behind him and the music started.

“I’m in my bed. And you're not here. And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands. Forget what I said. Its not what I meant. And I can't take it back. I can't unpack the baggage you left.” His eyes never strayed from yours. You knew what was happening. There were a few songs on the album about you, but this was different. Your eyes clouded with tears and you couldn't breathe. “What am I now, What am I now, What if I’m someone I don't want around. I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling.” Harry broke eye contact and looked down. Pouring himself into the words of the songs. You sat on the floor and put your head between your legs trying to breathe. Your friend was rubbing your back. Harry got to the end of the song “What if I’m down? What if I’m out? What if I’m someone you won't talk about? Im falling again, Im falling again, I’m falling.” And with that he bowed and ran off stage. The crowd of people slowly began clearing and you were able to breathe a little better. 

“Want to go home now?” your friend asked still slightly concerned at how pale your face was. You shook your head and stood up, pulling the backstage pass out. You ran to the guard and showed him before following him back. It was only a minute before you saw the pink suit. It stood out in a crowd very easily.

“Harry Edward Styles!” you shout, tears already forming in your eyes. He turns quickly and looks at you slightly stunned, and you continue forward pointing a finger at him. “What the hell was that?” You asked. He looked unsure of what to say. Finally he looked at you and sighed.

“That was my new song. What else would it be?” He sarcastically replied.

You didn’t know what else to say. You just stared at him, your nostrils flaring and his eyes intently watching your every move. Your friend came forward and grabbed your hand. “Come on (y/n), you don't need this.” She gently pulled you towards the door. 

“No.” His hand went out and grabbed your other wrist. “We need to talk.” He looked you in the eyes. “Thats why you're here right? Why else would you come?” His tone was harsh and you had no idea why. You looked at him and then at your friend. Your head was spinning again and you felt like you needed to sit down. You reached for the floor and felt yourself falling . “(y/n)!” Harry’s voice now very concerned shouted. Your eyes fluttered close and you hit the floor. 

Harry’s POV:

Harry didn’t know why he was being mean. He felt angry that you came back just to attack the song he had written about her. That he had poured so much energy and emotion into. When you had looked at him, he saw a slight fear in your eyes. You were scared of him and he didn’t want that. He saw you reach for the floor and your eyes close. He knew this, you were fainting. It was something that had happened a few time in the past. Scared him to death very time. This was no exception. He tried to catch your head and cushion the fall. You had hit the floor and he had immediately pulled you onto his lap and rocked you slowly. “(y/n) wake up...youre okay. Just please open your eyes...” He touched his forehead to yours and breathed slowly.

“This is your fault Styles.” your friend remarked kneeling next to him. “You overwhelmed her. You shouldn’t have even given her tickets. You nearly killed her two months ago. You don't even deserve the chance to speak to her.”

“(y/n)...open your eyes. You’re okay.” Harry ignored your friends comments and hummed softly, his eyes closed and his head against yours. 

Your POV:

Your eyes slowly opened and you heard a low and soft humming. Your head was pounding and you were acutely aware of arms wrapped tightly around you. You looked up and saw anxious green eyes staring into yours. Harry let out a shaky deep breath and moved his head back. You awkwardly climbed out of his arms and attempted to stand. You wobbled a bit and he immediately grabbed on and steadied you. You looked at your friend who was watching Harry very closely. “(y/n) can we please talk...alone.” he mumbled looking at your friend. You nodded your head, earning a sigh of relief from him. You looked at your friend telling her it was okay and let Harry pull you into his dressing room. He sat you on the couch and stood in front of you, running his fingers through his hair. “I don't even know where to start...”

“How about at the part where you left these tickets on my porch..” you grumbled watching him.

“I needed you here. I couldn’t get you out of my head after the gas station. It’s been so long...theres so much I’ve wanted to tell you but I couldn't because you blocked my calls.”

“Yeah because you cheated on me Harry. After 5 years?! You broke everything we had built together. All for some random girl?” You were annoyed but when you looked at him tears were falling down his cheeks and that made you sad. You didn’t want him to be upset. He had taken the jacket off and thrown it on a chair in the corner.

“I know....I know I ruined everything. It wasn't supposed to happen, it was a dumb mistake and I will forever regret it. The minute I saw you...I knew. I knew I had ruined the best thing in my life. There was never anything between me and her it was always just a drunk mistake. When you said goodbye I nearly lost it. I knew I would never love anyone but you. I haven't even looked a girl since that night. You're the only one I ever needed. I am so so so very sorry.I know I can’t take anything back but I need you. I can’t let you go, not again.” Your eyes were tearing up again and he reached up to wipe them away. His fingers rubbed my jaw and he leaned closer. You were suddenly very aware of him, his smell, everything. You leaned closer breathing faster and his lips cautiously met yours. You gave in. You fell against him and his hand pulled you unbearably close. He kissed you in a way that made you drown in him. He made the kiss deeper, adding more force and biting down on your lip. You moaned, opening your lips more allowing his tongue inside of your mouth. You sat up and ran your fingers through his hair, playing with the curls at the base of his neck while he trailed fingers up your back. If you died right now, you would be content. This moment was everything your body had been aching for the past two months. You grabbed the buttons on his shirt and went to pull it off. He pushed you back onto the cushions of the couch, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. “Fuck I missed you (y/n).” He breathed into your ear before biting the soft skin on your neck. Yikes that was going to bruise for sure...

“I missed you too Harry” you managed before turning his head and bringing his lips back to yours. He kissed you like his life depended on it. Like there was nothing else he needed but you. You matched his energy. He had your shirt pulled almost over your head when there was a knock at the door and in walked a girl. She looked familiar..the hair... Harry looked up, his cheeks bright red. You sat up, pulling your shirt down and looking from her to Harry. 

“Sarah.” Harry managed while trying to catch his breath. “Is everything okay?” He looked anxious. 

You looked at her again and it hit you. “Sarah?” You looked at Harry again with pain in your eyes. 

“(y/n)....wait. It’s, It’s not what you think..” He grabbed your hand as you stood up. 

“She’s in your band?” You were crying again. Sarah was uncomfortable and moving towards the door. 

“Im going to go...I’ll catch you later Harry.” she left closing you back in the room with Harry. You turned toward him. 

“Really?” You said again looking at him.

“Like I said before, she was a mistake. I was drunk, she was drunk and that's all there is. There is absolutely nothing between us. I swear.” He stood up and walked towards you again. “(y/n), love, theres nothing between me and her. Its strictly work related.”

“Did you kiss her after we broke up? Did the two of you...” You asked staring at him. 

He looked down and shifted uncomfortably, giving you your answer. You wanted an answer though. “Harry. Did. You. Have. Sex. With. Her.”

“She kissed me...we...we just.... The next morning. But I swear I broke it off after that. I told her the truth. There was no feeling. There was nothing. You're all I could think of. I promise on my mums life there is nothing between us. There never will be.” Harry grabbed your hand and pulled you into his arms. He held you while you cried, rubbing your back. 

“I can't do this right now Harry. I really can’t. I...I need to go.” You pushed him away and walked to the door. Turning one last time you looked at him, his eyes shining with tears and you left. 

---------------

What do you guys think?? Part 3?? Let me know! xoxo

#one direction #one direction fanfiction #one direction imagines #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harrystyles #louis tomlinson #liam payne #Niall Horan #falling

[fayewonglibrary]

Dou Wei and Faye Wong: The "Ambiguity" of "The Higher Being" (2020)

by Xu Jinjing  

I can't see through your ambiguous eyes They seem to be deep yet still very shallow The sky turned gray-blue I want to say goodbye It's not too late

—— Faye Wong, "Ambiguous" 

Oh~ my goodness, the higher being Heaven and hell are all on earth ...

Where is the happiness Where is the happiness Where is the happiness

—— Dou Wei, "The Higher Being"

From the masterpiece "Shameful" in the Black Panther era to the masterpiece "The Higher Being" in the Masters of Rock era, Dou Wei had obviously undergone a transformation from angry rock and roll youth to music philosopher. Dou Wei's transformation was brought about by his age and experiences and it was also closely related to his love life.

Before and after the release of Dou Wei's first solo album "Black Dream", he was in the vortex of a love triangle with Jessica Jiang and Faye Wong. On one hand, Jessica Jiang was the "suffering lover" who gave up her studies for him. On the other hand, Faye Wong was the "Heavenly Queen" who had risen to prominence in Hong Kong and the entire Chinese music industry. How could he choose? For Dou Wei, it was an extremely difficult decision.

In "The Higher Being", he described the rich aspects of human nature in the form of two-character words. He spoke indifferently and calmly, then shouted in a rather desperate voice: "Where is the happiness?" Dou Wei's thorough understanding of human nature and his matter-of-fact attitude towards life is somewhat reminiscent of the ideas of French existential philosophers such as Jean-Paul Sartre's "Hell is other people" and Albert Camus’ "There is only one really serious philosophical problem and that is suicide."

Dou Wei knows that it is very absurd to place one’s happiness on others. However, in his own life, he could not be so decisive and transparent. He lingered back and forth between the old Beijing hutong with Jessica Jiang and luxury hotels in Beijing's business district with Faye Wong whenever she returned to the city. There was aura and fame in Faye Wong and freedom and love in Jessica Jiang. All fulfilled the emotional needs of this artist from different aspects, making it difficult for him to make a definitive choice.

Faye Wong is a Leo who pursues control of her career and feelings. She could be very satisfied with the rich emotional and spiritual world that she created on her own. For the man she loved, she could also put down her identity as the "Heavenly Queen" and return to Beijing's old hutongs to pour a chamber pot and take care of him [when he was ill]. For these feelings, she vowed to not give up. Faye Wong finally had the last laugh in this long-distance love triangle relationship.

It is worth noting that when Faye Wong’s dream of love becomes a reality, she also needs daily self-affirmation and her lover's care to maintain the freshness and vitality of this relationship. The phrase “seems to be deep yet still very shallow" in her song "Ambiguous" perfectly expresses Faye Wong's complex and contradictory mood. In order to win Dou Wei's love, she could put herself down and be the little woman next to him. But in her emotional life, she obviously could not only just hold the "chamber pot".

When she and Dou Wei got married, Faye Wong in Dou Wei’s eyes turned from a musically compatible partner to housewife. Faye Wong’s career, aura, as well as her romantic ideals made the contradiction between the two more intense. In other words, the symbol of the chamber pot only became a gimmick for the media to describe the love between Faye Wong and Dou Wei, but it could never become the core element and theme of Faye Wong's expression of this relationship. The romantic Faye Wong can never be constrained.

Even if the sky deepens, still can't see the cracks on the brows Even a house filled with dim lights cannot shine through my body It can still reflect your heart ...

I fear that tragedy will repeat in my life The more beautiful things are, the more untouchable they are History repeats itself in this busy city There is no reason to fall in love without the undercurrent —— Faye Wong, "Undercurrent"

What is good or bad How can we adapt to this era I do not understand ... Look forward to receiving love's greetings Hope someone can save me Come soon, I'm waiting Take me to safety Stay with me at this time Let me feel your tenderness —— Dou Wei, "Sad Dreams" 

On the evening of December 31, 1998, Faye Wong held a New Year's Eve concert during her Scenic Tour in Hong Kong. After singing the opening three songs, she told the fans in Cantonese (in summary): This year, many people encountered a lot of happy and unhappy things. The important thing is to continue to learn from these experiences so you can face them in the future. I wish the fans a happy new year.

After the New Year's greetings, she sang the classic song "Undercurrent" in a trembling voice. When the fans started to cheer her on, Faye Wong stood on the stage and sang selflessly: “I fear that tragedy will repeat in my life..." At this time, Faye Wong and Dou Wei's marriage was on the edge. Faye Wong's popularity was continuously growing and the emergence of the third party Gao Yuan was close to exploding.

Three months ago, I repeatedly listened to the live recording of Faye Wong’s "Undercurrent”. I felt her emotional situation at the time with empathy. Faye Wong's spirituality and creativity have given her a very clear perception and intuition of her situation and fate in her emotional life. However, even if she knew that this relationship would not end well, even if she knew that the love with Dou Wei would encounter many ups and downs, while facing the doubts and opposition of many relatives and friends, she still chose to marry Dou Wei without hesitation. Faye Wong’s firm decision naturally reminds me of Nietzsche’s famous line: “Even if life is a dream, we must have this dream with a sense of interest, not to lose the sentiment and fun of the dream; even if life is a tragedy, we must act this tragedy vividly, not to lose the magnificence and comfort of the tragedy”.

The "tragedy" that Faye Wong firmly chose is most representative in Dou Wei's music. However, if you scrutinize the lyrics of "Sad Dreams", you will find that Dou Wei's "sadness" mainly comes from disappointment and uneasiness during this time period. In this state of loss and dissonance, love and salvation are just looking for a temporary "safe haven”.

One person saw love as a source of inspiration and romantic ideal. The other person only saw love as a substitute for grand narratives. The tragic ending of the two could have been predicted.

But there are times, when I'd rather Choose to keep this love alive and not let go And wait until we have finished admiring this view Perhaps you will keep me company And watch the trickle of water flow forever 

—— Faye Wong "Red Bean" Outside the window, the sky, the mind, the endless green field Your brilliant smile, I run desperately Fly by in the distance, no chance to reach the village, sunset, the boat returns Look at that day, there are white clouds In an instant, you appeared in front of me I saw the evening breeze blowing and the beauty of the rainbow —— Dou Wei, "Outside the Window" 

Of all of Dou Wei’s albums, "Sunny Days" was the most open and unconstrained. The self-doubt and isolation in "Black Dream" transformed into the self-expression of a Taoist temperament that was rather at ease. Take this song "Outside the Window" as an example. The style of the leisurely and boundless melody outline a simple and poetic atmosphere. The era of this album was when the relationship between Dou Wei and Faye Wong was in its best state.

In early 1995, Faye Wong released her live concert album which is still one of her most highly regarded albums by the public.  Dou Wei’s album "Sunny Days", which included the song "Outside the Window" was also released in the year 1995. No matter how bleakly their love ended, these moments are unforgettable. Listening to Dou Wei’s "Outside the Window" along with Faye Wong's smart and spirited singing in her concert, it is really wonderful to witness how the two people were in harmony.

By the time Faye Wong released the song "Red Bean", her relationship with Dou Wei had almost completely broken. In fact, "everything has an end" is already a well-known law of life for Faye Wong. But she still "chose to keep love alive and not let go" and to love vigorously rather than fall apart tragically. This is the "female lioness" side of Faye Wong. Her self-determination has been the same with Dou Wei, Nicholas Tse and Li Yapeng. Life is short and there will always be people who are unwilling to repeat mediocrity and unwilling to hesitate. After so many years, when listening to Faye Wong’s "Red Bean" again, we can see that this is still a person who seeks happiness without regret. 

When will the moon be clear and bright? I raise my cup of wine and ask the blue sky In this heavenly palace I wonder what year it would be? ... People may have sorrow or joy, parting or meeting The moon has times when it is not bright Nothing can be perfect since long ago

——  Faye Wong, "Wishing We Last Forever"

Good spring scene on this sunny day Hazy like before Sweet dreams, the green mountains beyond the sky in the dream Look up at the blue sky ... I often say that happiness is born out of suffering Joy turns to sorrow, it’s been true since long ago Don't make me uneasy, it's hard to tell right from wrong The vicissitudes of life are no longer regrettable ... Spring Summer Autumn Winter Every year, every year, a hundred years, a thousand years The sky changes, the earth changes, the mountains change, the water changes A thousand changes, people change, hearts change

The past has come from afar to the present Something will make you remember

——Dou Wei, "Sunny Days"

When it comes to Dou Wei's open and sunnier side, we can't help but talk about the title song "Sunny Days" from the album of the same name released in 1995. However, if we analyze the lyrics carefully, we will find that the melody seems cheerful and happy, but the content expressed a kind of indifferent pessimism that sees through everything.

After separating with Faye Wong, Dou Wei's emotional life was not able to settle down. Although he maintained a high quality creative output, in the eyes of the media and the public from the aspect of mainstream success, he is seen as just a middle-aged "uncle" who is increasingly "down" and "frustrated".

However, if we listen to "Sunny Days" carefully, we can appreciate that all joy, happiness, and success in the worldly sense have already been foreseen, reflected, and deconstructed in Dou Wei's spiritual and cultural vision. During the eight years I spent in Beijing, my biggest regret was that I did not get to listen to Dou Wei’s live performance. However, whenever Dou Wei’s music is on, we can temporarily deviate from the secular world of fame and fortune and escape from life for a moment of freedom and calmness...

From this perspective, when facing Dou Wei’s love, Faye Wong has never  leveraged the various areas of her fame and fortune. She loved Dou Wei because she loved his soul and his talents, and at the same time, tolerated the arrogance, gloom and betrayal attached to his soul and talent... Faye Wong’s love for Dou Wei is reflected in her cover of "Wishing We Last Forever". It's so vivid.

If we link together the titles of these two songs by Dou Wei and Faye Wong, we will discover the eternal expression of emotions and the ultimate meaning of life:  "On this sunny day, I hope people will last forever." From this perspective, although Dou Wei and Faye Wong have been separated for more than 20 years, the love between them and their continuous pursuit of life and love seems to have never faded and never changed.

In these classic songs that Faye Wong and Dou Wei gave to the world, may ordinary people like you and me realize the blessing!

POSTSCRIPT

For the purpose of researching China’s social and cultural life in the 1990s, I began to discover some important Chinese films and popular music during this time period to study. Among them, Dou Wei and Faye Wong’s music naturally could not be overlooked.

Listening to them over and over, not only evoked my youthful memories of the 1990s, but also inspired me to use the love life of celebrities as a clue to sort out the ecology of Chinese pop culture in the 1990s. After all, professor Li Gongzhong from the School of History of Nanjing University suggested that I use emotion as a clue when researching. While professor Cheng Boqing from the School of Sociology, Nanjing University taught the academic history of emotional sociology in a simple and systematic way where I learned to be open to exploring social and cultural life with emotions. 

Next, in preparation for writing: Dou Wei and Faye Wong had several representative albums that came out in the 1990s that I listened to dozens of times. The quality of their work is very high.

There were not only the biographical works of Dou Wei and Faye Wong, but I also found sources such as: "Perfect Faye Wong-Selections of Faye Wong Songs" (edited by Tian Lai Music Studio, Baihua Literature and Art Publishing House, June 2006). ), "Faye Wong Biography" (Huang Xiaoyang, Jiangsu People's Publishing House, January 2011 edition), "Days When My Long Hair Flew" (by Jessica Jiang Xin, Bo Ji Tianjuan & Hunan Literature and Art Publishing House June 2011 edition). These references were used for my writing. Of course, it should be noted that I was quite suspicious of many details in the books, so this essay will not list them as official citation notes. All the text in the article is the author's hypotheses of the above materials. If there are errors, the responsibility for the text is entirely the author's own responsibility.

Because Dou Wei and Faye Wong are both musicians who have had a profound influence on the author, despite the preparation, I was unable to find a suitable way to express the writing. In the long process of coming up with ideas for this article, I made a small playlist on NetEase Cloud Music, consisting of 8 representative songs by Faye Wong and Dou Wei, including 4 by Faye Wong and 4 by Dou Wei, and paired them up in 4 groups. I set the name of the playlist as “菲”常，“唯”一 ".  Friends who are familiar with the music and life of Faye Wong and Dou Wei will naturally smile at the name of my playlist.

When I listened to this playlist for the 30th time, I suddenly had an idea: Why not use the 8 songs in this playlist as a thread to write this essay? With this idea, the inspiration for writing this article occurred instantly.  Although I try to be well-researched in my interpretation of Faye Wong and Dou Wei’s love life, these are still very personal accounts. I welcome all the fans, followers and researchers of Faye Wong and Dou Wei to communicate, criticize and correct.

------------------------------------------------------------------  

SOURCE: THE PAPER // TRANSLATED BY: FAYE WONG FUZAO

#2020

[flutteringphalanges]

Summary:  “Am I in Hell?” Agatha’s voice was hoarse, a hint of fear in her tone. “That depends on your definition,” Dracula answered. “Perhaps.” His fingers felt cool against her burning skin, the fever raging through her body. “If you’re going to kill me, then do it,” she mumbled. The count chuckled, gazing into her eyes. “On the contrary,” he smirked. “I’m going to save you.”

((In which Dracula cares for a gravely ill Agatha))

Characters: Agatha Van Helsing/Dracula

Rating: T

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N:  Thank you for all of the reviews/comments/kudos, folks! You are the best! Feedback is always loved and appreciated! Hope you enjoy this chapter! -Jen

                                              Chapter Four

Labyrinth. A complicated maze filled with endless passageways-some even leading to nowhere. Agatha had heard of the tunnels, the darkness that clung to the walls. Jonathan Harker had recounted in his testimony to Mina and her of his attempts to successfully navigate through them. A warning she found herself not heeding.

A shiver ran up Agatha's spine the second her bare feet touched the cold, stone floor. Her head spun, vision cloudy, and for a brief moment the nun began to reconsider her plan. But no. No, it was now or never. When would she have the chance again? Inhaling deeply, using the wall as a means of support, she slowly made her way out of the room and into the corridor.

Vampiric Physiology. It had been her grandfather, Abraham Van Helsing, who pulled Agatha into the legends of Dracula. Raised by the man after the death of her father, she grew fascinated by the tales of the professor and his encounters with the beast. It was on his deathbed that his granddaughter made her promise, swore on her life, that she would carry on his legacy. Finish the act he failed to. Find the vampire and destroy the Devil where he stood. Forever end the miserable existence of Count Dracula.

The further she walked the deeper Agatha found herself in the bowels of the castle. The air was thick, musky, and the heaviness of it all scratched at her already sore throat. She concentrated on her breathing, trying to keep level headed. The secrets these caverns surely held. So caught up on her thoughts, the nun stumbled across a loose stone, nearly tumbling to the ground. Silently cursing, ignoring the pain in her now bruised big toe, she went on.

Minutes passed. Maybe hours. In the back of her mind, Agatha began to fear if the count had already returned. What would his reaction be to her empty bed? Would he storm the castle like a predator stalking its prey? Dwelling on it would do her no good now. She was in too deep. As she turned down another hallway, she heard a weak cry.

"Please. Help me."

The voice was soft, pleading. The nun stopped in her tracks, the hairs on her arms standing up. It sounded so distant, and yet, so close.

"Hello?" She called out, hesitation in her tone. "Who's there?"

"Please," it begged. "Please, help me."

"My name is Sister Agatha Van Helsing," Agatha replied, moving towards the noise. "Keep talking, I'll find you."

"Please." It was a woman's voice, her accent thick. Russian? "I'm so cold. It's so dark. Please, help me."

The corridor opened up into a large room. The aroma of the air changed, mildew, soil, rot. Agatha covered her mouth, attempting not to dry heave. Surrounding her were many boxes. Her brow furrowed and in her fevered state, she thought back to Harker's words. Boxes. Coffins. The nun's eyes grew wide as she realized her terrible mistake. In horror, she watched as one of the lids creaked upon, a decaying arm dragging across the opening.

"Please," the voice hissed, agony laced in his gravelly tone. "I'm so thirsty…"

Agatha began to scan around the room looking for something, anything, that could be used as a weapon. The woman, or what used to be Agatha imagined, had now pulled herself halfway out of the box. She stared at the nun with hollow eyes, mouth open to reveal stained, jagged teeth.

"Stay back," the nun warned. But even as brave as she was, Agatha couldn't hide her fear. "I'm warning you, I'll-"

Just then, something swooped by Agatha. The creature let out a cry, cowering back as a figure rose a sharp stake in the air before plunging it deep into the undead's chest. Count Dracula wheeled around, a look of fury glaring in his eyes that even put the nun on edge.

"I show you the best hospitality and this is how you thank me?" He growled, stroding over so that he now loomed over the nun. "Do you realize what would've happened if I hadn't made it in time?"

"I...I can handle myself…" She mumbled, her cheeks flushing.

"Clearly not," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "How did you even find your way down here?" The vampire's gaze flickered up and down. "With the state you're in?"

"I'm fine, if that's what you're trying to get at," she frowned. "What exactly is this place? You owe me an explanation."

"Ha, I owe you absolutely nothing," he chuckled coldly. "But you mildly impressed me. So I suppose perhaps I can offer you some insight into my special project."

"Special project?" Agatha questioned, an eyebrow raised, finding herself morbidly fascinated. "You mean, experimenting with the undead? Jonathan Harker mentioned…"

"Oh, it's quite more complicated than that," Dracula said with a dark smile. "And Johnny's memories aren't that reliable. But, I digress. Death is a curious thing, Agatha. As is mortality. The balance between it, that is where the science lies."

"I don't think I quite understand-"

"Of course you don't," he interrupted. "But I think that's enough lecture for one day."

Without warning, he scooped Agatha up as if she were no lighter than a feather. The nun yelped in surprise, caught off guard by the count's motion. He grinned at her, his arms wrapping around her in such a secure fashion that the nun couldn't decide if he did so to protect her or keep her from getting away.

"Put me down," Agatha struggled. "Let me go this instant!"

"You sure do get testy when you're tired, Agatha," Dracula smirked as he carried her bridal style from the room. "I think a good nap would do you some good."

"And I think a good stake in the heart would suit you nicely," she countered. "Or a nice stroll outside during a sunny day."

Dracula scoffed, his hold on the nun not loosening until they were back in her room. With surprising care, he gingerly placed Agatha back into bed. The nun frowned, eyes like daggers as she watched him walk over to the side of the room. For the first time, she noticed a small parcel sitting on the dresser. Picking it up, the vampire reappeared by her side and held it out.

"A gift," Dracula said simply. "A friendly gesture." When the nun continued to eye him warily, he let out an exaggerated sigh. "Come on, Agatha, if it was something disturbing, I wouldn't have taken the time to have it wrapped so nicely. Take it."

Finally caving, Agatha carefully took the package from Dracula. Caustionally tearing the paper back, she was stunned by the contents within. Cream colored, the sleeves just intricant enough that one could still consider it modest, was a dress. She was at a loss for words. It was by all accounts beautiful. Something so nice that she hadn't owned ever since she became a nun.

"To replace that hideous habit of yours," Dracula stated. "I hope you like it. If not-"

"No," she whispered, examining it. "No, it's nice...Thank you…" The words sounded foreign when they left her lips. "May I try it on?"

Dracula snorted. "If you so desire to. The nap, after all, was just a suggestion…" Even the count seemed a little awkward now. "Shall I go or…"

"Until I change," Agatha said, momentarily pausing. "But you may return, since you did purchase it after all…"

It was weird. It felt weird. Was it the fever? Minutes ago she was nearly killed. On the verge of entering a shouting match with her mortal enemy. And now she was trying on a dress that he gave her. A gift. Agatha's mind was surely discombobulated. With just a slight amount of struggle, she managed to slide into the dress and adjust it correctly.

"You can come in now," she called out.

Dracula stepped into the room, his eyes looking Agatha up and down. Though she'd never admit it, the nun felt a little bashful. A small part of her wanted to feign a faint so it could all be over. But she didn't. She stood there quietly, waiting for a response.

"Well," she said, beginning to feel a little offended. "If it looks bad on me, you might as well-"

"No," he interjected. "No. You look...lovely."

Again, Agatha felt the heat rush to her cheeks, only this time she knew it wasn't the fever. It was as if she was a little school girl again. The strange, uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. Butterflies? No. No, no, no. Focus. The nun swallowed, shaking her head.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "Now, I think I should like to take that nap you mentioned. Today was rather eventful, much to your doing."

"You're quite an interesting one, Agatha Van Helsing," Dracula replied, eyeing her with a strange look. "But I'll leave you to your own devices," he paused, a glint of mischievousness in his eye. "For now. Get some rest. You know where to find me."

"Unfortunately," but her voice lacked the usual hatred she held. "Goodbye, Dracula."

As she watched him leave, Agatha sat on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. She was beginning to feel sick. But this was different than the fever. This was something else. More complex. And she hated it. Was it possible? Was Agatha, Vampire Hunter, Van Helsing starting to feel for the bloodthirsty Count Dracula? If Abraham Van Helsing could see her now. God help her.

#Dracula #Dracula 2020 #Dracula on Netflix #Agatha Van Helsing #Dracula x Agatha #Dragatha #Bad Moon Rising

[pennys-th0ughts]

Loser... 🥀

A long sigh came out of my mouth like some kind of relieving sensation that had been trapped deep inside my chest for so long, but I didn’t feel any relief, only frustration. I picked up the three balls lying on the floor, gathered the rest of my stuff inside my duffel bag and got out of the big tent hearing the mocking laughter at my back. “You will never be good enough as a clown” someone said, “¡your parents must be ashamed of you!”, “¡Go back to the stinky hole you came out of!” and the insults kept on coming until I finally got out.

I looked around searching for a quiet place to put myself together. Once I spotted it I headed there and sat down on the edge of an empty wagon belonging to the circus I just finished performing one of my complex acts just to be rejected, as had happened in the previous one. It was my fifth try and I still had no luck finding a circus that wanted to hire me. The owners kept telling me that I was too old to be a clown and they wouldn’t take the risk of hiring someone of my age or they would just say I lacked experience. So many lame excuses…

The day had been long and tiring and the heat was overwhelming. The summer season was at its highest peak and some days the temperatures were barely tolerable. The key to survive such weary time of the year was to remain away from the sun and stay hydrated, and one of those things was becoming the hardest to get.

A couple or guards began to look at me in a uncomfortable way so I left that place and ended up catching my breath sitting under a tree. I was enjoying its cool shadows when a thin hand landed on my left shoulder. I sighed and didn’t dare to find out which body that small and delicate hand belonged to but since it seemed not to belong to one of the guards, I finally raised my eyes trying to avoid the rays of the sun. The other hand offered me some fresh water and also an apple.

Moved by such kind gesture I saw myself forced to stand up and thank to whoever was being benevolent enough to offer me such things, but both hands didn’t allow me to, instead, this mysterious person knelt by my side.

– You must be tired – the smooth and calm voice said-. Please, don’t bother yourself in standing up. ¿May I?

The young lady pointed an empty space next to me, I nodded and moved a bit to make some more space so she could take a sit and shelter herself from the sun. We spent some minutes in silence whilst I took some sips of the fresh liquid and later bit the sweet fruit. In the meantime, I could sense her staring at me as if was some kind of peculiar creature, like the most the circus would hid behind its red curtains. I devoured the apple in a couple of bites and then I realized how embarrassing that must have looked like. She just chuckled.

– I must apologize – I used the back of my sleeve to clean up my chin-. I was starving, to be honest…

She raised both hands to let me know it was okay and laughed amused. The innocence of her waysput a smile on my face instantly. Her smile was as bright and warm as the sun and her manners were as fine as the ones of a princess. We stayed under the shadows talking and laughing about so many mundane things until the sunset gave its lasts breaths and the purple blueish tones began to paint the night sky. The laughter she ripped off from my lips was so plenty that my eyes watered many times washing part of my make-up.

The little lightbulbs surrounding the big tent began to light one by one bringing some light to the vast territory the circus occupied. The people belonging to it started to walk to their tents to get some rest from another long hot day. I realized that that painful moment to say goodbye had come and I would need to leave before the owner of the circus could tell I was spending my time with his daughter. The less I wanted was to get her into trouble so I stood up and got ready to leave but she grabbed my hand and almost dragged me towards her tent in some kind of stealth mode. We successfully avoided a couple of guards, a handful of jugglers and some lion tamers who were taking those exotic animals back to their cages. The excitement of hiding from the circus owner in his daughter tent was the most thrilling experience I had in many years since the last one when I was around ten years old which consisted in the fruit stealing from the neighbor’s tree.

That night my heart was beating exactly in the same erratic and fast way it did that day but there was something different now and the company made it a lot more interesting.

– You have never told me your name… – I point that out in a very curious tone of voice.

– ¡Oh, you are right! – She said looking notoriously embarrassed-. My name is Elizabeth but everyone here calls me Liz.

– Delighted to meet you, Liz – I kissed her knuckles and introduced myself as well-. I'm Robert Gray but you can call me Bob.

The mystery was solved and I was even more interested about discover more about this girl so I began to cherish every minute of our conversations. I took a last peek outside the tent to make sure nobody had seen us and once I felt reassured I turned around with a confident smile on my face. Liz poured some water in a metallic bowl and wet a piece of cloth.

– Have a sit – she invited me-. I will help you remove the make-up.

– That’s really not necessary, Liz… – I tried to avoid her selflessness help but it was in vain.

– Don’t be so modest, Bob – she insisted-. Besides, if you keep wearing it, it might spoil your skin.

I sat on the little bench and she placed the bowl on a table almost of the same size next to me, and carefully, she began removing the paint of my face. When she finally finished she stared at me for some long minutes as if she was admiring the very uncommon features of my face. She brushed my ginger hair backwards and fixed her blue eyes with mine. Then a painful memory came to my mind when the soft tip of her index finger followed the irregular line of one of my scars. Instinctively my hand grabbed her wrist by impulse but without any intentions to hurt her. When I realized what I just did it was a bit too late.

– I'm afraid to ask but – she hesitated- ¿how you did get these?

I lowered my eyes until I had the dusty floor in front of me; I took a deep breath and told Liz the story about those peculiar scars. In the meantime people outside their tents were getting ready for the typical midnight feast in which many of them would eat and drink until early hours of the morning and probably sleep big part of the day to get rid of the hangover. Those would be precious hours to share with Liz and I was looking forward to prolong our talk. She made me feel like I was at home and for some reason the need of being with her was becoming imperative. Liz didn’t care about my aspect without the make-up and her interest in me since the beginning was touching. She gently caressed my forehead and the scar that made its way over my eyebrow and ended up in my cheek. She made me close my eyes and, out of the blue, she sat down on my lap. A little smirk curved my lips whilst Liz kept stroking my hair backwards making the experience even more intense with the perfume her skin was letting go. The scent was delicate and yet it was all over the place as if the aroma was coming from a bucket of just trimmed flowers. Then I felt them. At first the feeling was suffocating but warm, soft and finally passionate. Elizabeth had the tastier lips I could have ever kissed and her possessive way of seducing me was delicious.

– Liz – I made my best to talk her out of it, that what she was trying to get wouldn’t probably end well- if your father catches us red handed he will definitely throw me inside the lion’scage.

– He won’t – she shut me up placing her finger on my lips-. He would have gotten drunk enough by the time we have left.

I blinked several times, uncredulous but mostly dumbfounded. Leaving the circus with the owner’s daughter was definitely a very bad idea that would mean a certain death for me and a severe punishment for her. I shook my head in denial; I had to do something about it and fast.

– I will be forever doomed to steal you from your father’s hands and I will happily live with it but ¿can we reconsider the possibility that your father will haunt us just to make our lives miserable?

Liz remained some minutes in silence probably having second thoughts about my words. I knew what she wanted from the moment she suggested to leave the circus, but leaving in that way will only cost us more than we could bear, so we carefully thought and planned our escaping way starting that very night. We still had a few hours ahead so we would take our time to do whatever we wanted to do.

Her hands were soft as cotton as all the skin wrapping her little but harmonious body whilst the curves of her breasts and waist were almost perfectly shaped like the silhouette of a glass cup. She was out of her usual vestments and the light of the fire was bathing her smooth skin in red and gold tones. As the flames were dancing making the whole room dance at their compass, Liz started her own choreography taking off in each turn a piece of clothing. The lines of her back seemed to resemble the dunes of a vast dessert whilst her long black hair, shinny and silky, was like the oriental night sky. She took possession of my mouth again but this time I could feel she was more than certain of she was doing so I let her go over me without any restrictions. It had been long time since the last time I was with a woman and Liz was beyond attractive to deny her charms.

The night went by wonderfully like some kind of mixture between a romantic novel and an adventure tale. After making love for almost two wild hours we decided to soothe our appetite, for food this time, so we ate richly and drink a delicious sweet wine, as for dessert we tasted some fresh fruits and a strange pudding with a filling I have never ate before. Once our bodies were satisfied in many ways, we fall asleep. Liz wrapped her thin arm around my chest and hid her face in the hollow of my neck. To feel the peacefulness of her breathing tickling my skin was all I needed to dive into an intoxicating sleep.

Rooster’s badly tuned song woke me up from a very pleasant dream just in time to avoid prying eyes. I gently shook Liz’s shoulder to wake her up. She got dressed and helped me to put my make-up back only this time she painted my face in a very different but interesting way which I liked more. She made the lines that crossed my eyes vertically longer and connected them with the corners of my lips, so the new design ended up looking like a big “U” shaped smile starting in my forehead and finishing in my mouth. I borrowed some clothes from her wardrobe and put them on, maybe that would help me avoid the guards on my way out of her chambers.

Another day went by and Liz and I were keeping our love adventure out of the circus thus behind the curtains. I have never felt so excited before and the feeling itself was captivating. I was looking forward to see her every time the circus closed its doors and everyone went to sleep just to discover our naked bodies once more, swim in the lake or eat delicious evening meals at the candlelight. Tonight we had planned to leave and spend some hours at the quarries and enjoy the night and its sparkling stars.

– The moon light is so bright tonight – Liz pointed that out looking up the sky as if she was a little girl looking at some marvelous treasure.

I took her hand and guided her towards the shore of the lake. The temperature of the water was nice and it was an unspoken invitation to get into it. We looked at each other in complicity and ready to throw each other to the lake but we didn’t, we just took our shoes off and got our feet into it to avoid ending in a water fight. The songs of the crickets, the hoot of the owls and the wind whispering all around us was making of that brief moment something worthy to live for.

– Moon looks like a tiny firefly compared to you…

Careless words got out of my mouth like a bunch of wild horses and by the time I realized what I just said, it was too late. I shut my eyes tightly feeling my cheeks going beetroot in no time, but the night was allowing me to stay low key regarding my feelings. Liz accidentally put her hand on mine and I immediately hold on to it as if it was a life jacket to what she only gave me her most shy but tender smile.

– You turned to be a very sweet man, Bob – Liz hold my hand back-. And I really like you…

– Liz – I unintentionally interrupted her, fearing that her final words would probably be painful for me since I was sensing some kind of hesitation in her voice- I know we barely know each other from few days ago but I have really wanting to tell you something…

Her blue eyes began sparkling under the pale light of the moon and my heart started racing like a steaming machine out of control. I got my hand inside my pocket and took a little box out of it; I opened it trying really hard to keep my shaking hands at bay so she didn’t notice how nervous I was. Once the shiny red stone caught her attention I felt confident enough to say the big words.

– ¿Would you marry me, Liz?

Judging by how hard she was squeezing my hand I could tell she had been caught totally by surprise and her reaction gave me hope. She took the small object out of the box and looked at it full of excitement and perplexity and started nodding until she finally said yes. My heart was pounding inside my chest like a giant old bell, not leaving more space for any other feeling but joy. Her face was distorted because a big smile that kept making the moon to look even smaller. We sealed our union with a long kiss and agreed to leave next day at night. We both knew that Elizabeth’s father won’t allow us to leave and less knowing that her daughter was planning to run away with a loser.

I have never had more than five dollars in my pocket and a clear destination where to head to but this time, this time was so different, I was carrying something with more value I could ever imagine and I had, for the first time in a long time, a crystal clear idea where to go. For the first time in my life I was certain about my future and happy to meet the person I was going to share it with. I might still be a loser with nothing to lose or maybe I'm just a lover with everything to live for...

Image: credits to the owner

#penny's thoughts #pennywise #short story

[zaynmirrors]

Family: J.W. (2/5)

A/N: I’m opening requests so send them to me! Also, does anyone want to be tagged on a tag list?

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Sam said shaking his head looking at Jake.

Jake looked at him and tilted his head, “What do you mean?”.

Sam scoffed slightly and started gesturing with his hands. “Shes pregnant Jake”, he shook his head, “Babies are a lot of work, and I just don’t think you’re ready for that responsibility,”. Though none of them were really ready for that responsibility.

Colby looked up from his phone ready to join in the conversation. “I mean he’s just asking her on a date, she could say no” Colby interjected, getting an agreement from Corey. “Who’s to say she feels the same way you do.”

“Oh, thanks for the boost of confidence guys” Jake shook his head with a scoff. He sighed knowing he probably shouldn’t have told the guys his plans to ask you out but he had wanted some other opinions.

“I agree with Sam, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Corey said from his position on the lovesac. “You’re always gonna be second compared to that kid”. Sam put a hand up in an I told you so gesture.

Aaron shook his head, “I think you should give it a shot, it’d never hurt to try, but I do think that you need to be mentally prepared to be in a relationship with a girl who has a kid” Jake nodded slowly considering his words. “I mean man do what you want but just think it through,” Colby said agreeing with Aarons words.

“I’ll think about it,” Jake nodded, some of what they had said made sense and maybe he should’ve listened but he didn’t care he was going to do what he wanted no matter what. He rubbed his face, “Who wants to go with me?” he figured more help would get you moved in quicker.

Jake had successfully convinced you to move out to California during your visit, though it didn’t take much convincing on his part since you had wanted a fresh start. So here you were a month later, moving to an entirely new place while pregnant.

Colby muttered something about offering to come help. A downside to moving while pregnant was your inability to lift heavy things. Though Jake was gracious enough to offer assistance.

-

It didn't long take long for the guys to find the complex since you had sent Jake the address. You stood outside with the moving truck and saw the boys pulls up, giving a big wave you walked over to the car, “Hey guys.” you said with a smile.

Jake got out with a beaming smile as he pulled you into his arms causing you to chuckle, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever”

You laughed, “not face to face at least”. You two had been talking more after your visit, just about every night you and he would FaceTime until one of you would fall asleep. Though it was usually you, pregnancy fatigue getting the best of you. “Hi, Colby!”

He laughed noticing that Jake was still hanging onto you. “Hey. I think you’ve got a leech” he joked poking at Jake only to have him swat Colby’s hand away.

You chuckled, “yeah I think I do too, but he’s not so bad”. You had tried to give Colby a hug but with Jake hanging on you it was proven to be a bit hard. Colby snorted.

“Was the drive okay?” Jake asked finally pulling away and going to open up the back of the truck to reveal all your things.

“Yeah, it was fine” You nodded. Jake was worried when you had told him you were doing the whole 24-hour drive from Kansas alone, and pregnant. He made sure to have you send a text whenever you stopped. The drive had proven to be a slight challenge, as you constantly needed to pee or wanted something to eat but you managed to power through, checking in with both Jake and your mom every now and then.

Jake hopped into the back of the truck, handing some boxes down to Colby who then piled a couple of those boxes on top of each other to carry into your apartment.

“Hand me something light” you suggested, Jake looked at you hesitantly but gave you a box labeled pillows. You huffed at his overprotectiveness but knew it was all in good faith.  

Colby followed closely behind While Jake stayed with the truck. You were slightly out of breath, another glorious pregnancy symptom, though it wasn’t like you were that active, to begin with. “You alright?” Colby asked catching your irregular breathing.

You nodded, “yeah, apparently I have to share my lungs with the baby too” You joked causing him to laugh. This was just one of the many pregnancy symptoms you were dealing with.

You set the box of pillows down on the counter and watched as the guys did all your heavy lifting. You felt bad for having the guys do it all but Jake would’ve insisted on getting the heavier things even if you weren’t pregnant.

It didn’t take long for the truck the be empty, your bed to be rebuilt, and any other furniture you had brought with you to be put into place. “Do you guys want to order something?”

“I’m gonna go but maybe some other time”, Colby said with a smile, he had wanted to give you and Jake some time alone which Jake was thankful for.

“Okay, thank you so much for helping me”, You pulled him into a hug, which he returned. “You know where I am if you want to bother me sometime.” you joked.

“No problem, I’ll definitely be back to bother you”, He joked back causing you both to laugh, he hung around waiting for his Uber to arrive before saying his final goodbye.

You and Jake did some last minute touches while waiting for the food to arrive which Jake just had to pay for. As Jake pushed his food around his plate, he looked up at you, chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Can I ask you something?”.

You looked up to notice him chewing on his cheek. “Yeah. Is there something wrong?”, Your heart picked up its pace and your mind raced with possible questions he could ask.

“Would you maybe want to go out on a date, sometime?” He swallowed looking down and avoided looking at you altogether. 

It was like your heart stopped, this was something you had wanted him to ask you for as long as you could remember but it also somehow felt wrong. You would be dragging him into your life selfishly and you couldn’t ask him to take on such a huge responsibility. “Jake I’d love to but I couldn’t ask you to get involved”

He opened his mouth to say something, then immediately closed it and seemed to think for a moment before speaking, “You wouldn’t be asking me to do anything I wouldn’t want to do” he reached over and grabbed your hand giving a gentle squeeze, “I want to be apart of this kids life, to be a part of yours.”

“Jake don’t joke right now” Tears welled in your eyes, you looked up to meet his only to see just how serious he was about this. He was really willing to fully commit to this, to you and the life growing inside you.  

“I’m not joking y/n, I want to be there for you two” He never broke eye contact with you, not even to wipe the tear that had fallen from your eye away. He had waited too long to ask you the first time, he wasn’t going to let that happen again.

There were going to be challenging obstacles in this relationship, but the two of you were more than willing to overcome them together. You were positive that this could work, otherwise, you wouldn’t have said, “I’d love to go on a date with you” and giving him a smile. 

Part Three

#sam golbach #sam and colby #corey scherer #aaron doh #jake webber x reader #jake webber imagine #jake webber #pregnancy #tfil imagine #besfriend #family

[starslikecandlelight]

Chapter 19: Carol

Do you remember winding your arm around my shoulder, as we wandered 'round the hill? Now I'm in that fog forever. - Haunted House, Florence + the Machine

AO3 link

Chapters: One / Two / Three / Four / Five / Six / Seven / Eight / Nine / Ten / Eleven / Twelve / Thirteen / Fourteen / Fifteen / Sixteen / Seventeen / Eighteen

– – –

There’s something so fundamentally unfair about all this that makes Carol want to scream.

It's been a non-stop whirlwind of activity for the Avengers since the 'Battle of Earth', as the media likes to call it, had taken place. The city holds a memorial service four days after the battle to commemorate the fallen; they all attend as a show of support for Pepper, Carol can hear quiet sobbing from behind her as they watch her give the eulogy.

She'd been invited to speak - Steve had pulled her aside this morning and told her that there would be time given for her, too, if she wishes to, but she'd declined. She still can’t bring herself to talk about Natasha like Natasha’s really dead, and watches as Nick Fury takes her place behind the rostrum instead.

It is still too raw, the pain of having her heart ripped clean out of her chest is still so all-encompassing – she’s been travelling the universe for over thirty years, and thinks that there’s no language good enough for her to even begin putting into words the ache she carries with her all the time. Natasha’s absence haunts her in ways that she could never have imagined; sometimes she finds herself looking over her shoulder for a presence that is no longer there, only to be met by another pair of pitying eyes instead.

Her time on Earth had been defined by Natasha for so long, it feels strange to be back and not have her around. Wrong, somehow. Like the gravity’s somehow changed; or like she’s landed on the wrong planet where everything is a carbon copy of Earth, but just a little awry, just a little amiss. It makes her feel unsettled - it makes her feel like she's back on Hala again, newly awake and lost and alone and adrift in a sea of strangers; only this time, the feeling of utter desolation is multiplied over, and over, and over again.

She flies down to Louisiana right after the service, where Maria is standing at the steps leading up to the front porch, waiting for her.

“Oh, Carol,” is all Maria manages to get out before Carol flings herself into her best friend’s arms, and finally, finally, lets herself break down, she’d been holding herself together, a stoic, supporting presence in the face of the media for so long.

She hasn’t let herself cry all this time.

“I couldn’t save her – Maria, I couldn’t save her.”

Her voice wavers, then cracks as she buries her face into Maria’s neck, and Maria lowers them to the ground, and wraps her arms around Carol’s waist, holding her tight, as though she’s trying to pull together the broken pieces of her very soul while Carol falls apart, four days’ worth of grief, and pain, and anger washing over her, all at once.

– – –

She stays on Earth for the next two months, helping the rest of the Avengers clean up the ruins of the Avenger’s compound, helping New York rebuild. Thanos’ air-strikes had completely decimated the land around the sprawling complex – there’s nothing that survived the battle, nothing that Carol can even salvage for her to remember Natasha by. She kicks apart the huge concrete blocks barring her way and dives into places the other Avengers cannot reach, hoping, desperately, beyond hope that she’d find something, anything that would tell her that Natasha had once lived her life here, hunting desperately for traces of Natasha left behind, but after days left exposed to water and the sun, anything not made of stone or metal had rotten away so much that they crumble away into dust as soon as she lays her hands on them.

They move the rubble out of the way, and on the land where the main building once stood – on the land where Carol had said goodbye to Natasha for the last time, they build a memorial for her, and for Tony, and for the multitudes of Wakandans and Asgardians and everyone else who’d given up their lives to save the world.

It’s where she takes to spending most of her spare time, alone.

It’s quiet here at night; peaceful, with nothing else but the ghosts for company, and she sits under the huge marble monolith, runs her fingers over the letters – NATALIA ROMANOVA – carved into its base, and talks to Natasha like she’s here. Like she’s sitting beside Carol, like she can reply.

Because Carol thinks that if she lets herself sit in silence beside Natasha’s grave, she might go mad.

And when she pauses for a moment, wracking her brain for something to say, she hears a twig crack somewhere behind her. She whirls around, fist at the ready – but it’s just Wanda Maximoff, stepping towards her carefully with both palms raised.

“Sorry,” Carol relaxes, leaning back against the cool marble surface tiredly. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

Wanda settles herself down in the damp grass, crossing her legs neatly under her. “Couldn’t sleep. I wanted to come and see her.”

And when Carol glances sideways at her, Wanda’s green eyes are spilling over with tears, they streak down her cheeks, and she rubs at them angrily with the palm of her hand – and Carol remembers the way Natasha had talked about Wanda, a mix of fondness and guilt whenever Carol had brought up the teenager she’d taken under her wing, and it occurs to her, then, that Wanda’s lost her family, too.

“She loved you,” Carol finds herself saying as she reaches out to pull Wanda against her side, and Wanda leans into her embrace.

“I miss her.” Her voice is small and subdued, but Carol hears her anyway, and her heart twinges with a fresh burst of pain.

“I know."

She tilts her head back, staring up at her sky, willing the tears away –

Natasha, forcibly dragging her to the roof of the Avenger’s compound on one of her last visits back on Earth, fiercely determined to ‘take a break from work and do whatever normal couples do, for once’. Her body warm and heavy in Carol’s arms as they’d watched the night sky fade and give way to dawn. The way she’d smiled up at Carol, sleepy and content when Carol had ducked her head to press a kiss to her temple. Her –

Carol shakes her head, forcing herself back into the present.

“I know,” she repeats heavily. “I miss her too.”

#carolnat #carol danvers #natasha romanoff #carol danvers x natasha romanoff #world enough and time

[screamingatanemptyroom]

A Second Chance for a Super Villain’s Minion

Hey everyone! Sorry the posting has been a little sparse, last few days have been really crazy! This is part 3 of the story of Abigail, the super villain’s minion who gets a second chance to live her life differently. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1 here. /   Part 2 here. 

“I can’t believe you’re getting ready to graduate, Abigail! Time really flies, huh?” One of the teachers, an older woman with a pleasant smile, patted Abigail on the shoulder. Abigail shied away from the light contact, not really comfortable with casual gestures of affection. Not wanting to offend her teacher, she smiled at the older woman, chuckling.

“It seemed like forever from my end.”

They both shook their heads, smiling, and just as Abigail was about to find an excuse to leave the teacher grabbed her arm with an intense expression.

“Abigail… Are you really certain you don’t want to go to college? It’s late, I know, but I have connections… I can try to get you in as a last minute admission.” She sighed, “You’re too intelligent to just quit now.”

Abigail’s smile turned sad. In both lifetimes she had skipped out on college. The first time it was so she could support Jack and their supervillain team. This time though… this time was for revenge.

Besides, having lived through her childhood and adolescent twice, she was able to spend the majority of her free time studying advanced circuitry and robotics, and felt confident that her inventions and theories could be published on any national journal without issue. That is… if she wanted fame and recognition. Realizing that the teacher still wanted an answer, Abigail tried to piece together a reasonable answer that would prevent the teacher from working.

“I may go to college one day, but for now, I have a passion and the ability to pursue it. I can’t give that up just yet.”

Startled, the teacher could only nod. “Well… if you change your mind…”

“You’ll be the first to know.” Abigail hoped her smile didn’t seem too forced.

“Good! I’ll see you at the party! Don’t forget to say goodbye to all your friends!” With a cheerful wave the teacher left. Abigail felt the pleasant expression slide off her face, feeling relieved that she no longer needed to pretend.

“Aww, how touching that the teacher cares for you so much!” A sarcastic voice broke her from her reverie.

“Jack.” The word was a sigh, as she felt her slipping mental defenses shoot straight back up. “What do you want?”

The boy smiled, leaning against the doorway. “Just enjoying the show. I particularly like how you pretended she mattered to you. ‘You’ll be the first to know.’” His face twisted into a sneer. “As if that woman could help you even if she wanted to.”

“What makes you think I was pretending?” Abigail sat at one of the desks in the classroom, no longer putting up any pretense of politeness or friendliness.

“Oh, pardon me. She’s very important to you then?” He sat down next to her, leaning into her space. Abigail frowned, shifting her body away to increase the distance between them.  “Then you won’t have any problem telling me the name of that teacher?”

“…” She hated the fact that she couldn’t answer.

“I thought so.” He grinned. “You and I are alike, you see. We both have goals  we must achieve and everyone else falls into the categories of ‘useful’ and ‘useless’ in terms of helping us achieve those goals.”

Useless. Abigail felt her smile grow colder. In her last lifetime Jack had thought her useful at first. Having her work day and night to produce the inventions he needed. As long as she was assisting him to achieve his goal she had been in the “useful” category. But then came the day when he found where she drew her line.

“It’s not such a big deal, Abby.” Jack stared deeply into her eyes, giving the pitiful look he always used with her to get his way. It usually worked, and even today she felt a pull on her heartstrings, but she refused to give in on this.

“No Jack. When I agreed to work for you, the number one rule I had was that I would not produce deadly weapons for you.” She frowned, looking at the crude blueprint in front of her. “I won’t design this for you. It would kill thousands, maybe even more than that.”

“I would only threaten to use it to scare my enemies.” He reached out and grabbed her hand, a gesture that usually made her heart beat quickly, but missed its mark today. “Please?”

Abigail pulled her hand away. “You never make a threat that you wouldn’t follow through with. I won’t make you that weapon, Jack. Don’t ask me again.”

For a moment, an angry sneer crossed Jack’s face, distorting his features, but before her mind could fully register it, it was gone, replaced by a pleasant smile.

“I understand. I would never force you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

Abigail let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Instead, would you be able to help me out with a new plan?” Jack’s eyes were ice cold, but in her relief, Abigail didn’t notice.

“Sure, what it is?”

“I need you to distract a superhero.”

That had been the moment she had crossed from useful to useless in his mind. And despite all the years she had worked for him, supporting him, he had not hesitated to throw her away. And he wanted to say she was like him?

 She smiled at him, enjoying the slight flash of nervousness across his features. “Oh, I’m not nearly as simple minded as you are.” She chuckled at his offended expression. “People are so much more complex than simple tools, you can’t put them in the “useless” category for one reason, because there are multiple ways two lives can intersect.”

“But…”

“I do agree with you about one thing, however…” She reached forward, grabbing his chin and pulling Jack’s face down close to hers, speaking in a whisper. “If someone were to stop me from achieving my goal, I will not hesitate to destroy them.”

He wrenched himself from her grasp, and she leaned back in her chair, laughing.

“I hate you.”

She raised an eyebrow at his blunt words. In this life he was definitely a lot less smooth in his interactions with her. “Likewise.”

“So what next? You promised you’d have a plan.”

“Ye of little faith. It’s simple.” She grinned, standing up and walking towards the door. “I’m a mechanical genius. With my talent, I will have no problem at all being hired at the superhero’s headquarters.”

“You’re going to work for them?!” He stood up, his face showing his rage. “Only on the surface.” She rolled her eyes. “Think about it. With me on the inside, our plans to debut as supervillains will be as smooth as silk. I can keep an ear out for information, misdirect, and so much more.”

Jack stared at her for a few moments, and despite herself, she felt her heart beat a little faster from fear. It was hard to forget  the years he had ruled her life with an iron fist.

“I don’t trust you.”

Abigail shrugged. “Too bad.”

With that, she turned and walked away.

“So, Abigail, why do you want to work for Infinity Tech?” The pleasant looking man in glasses sat at a desk in front of her.

Abigail smiled back, responding with the appropriate platitudes of loving to work hard and having the chance to innovate. None of the words mattered. She knew in the end, the schematics she sent in with her resume would be more than enough for them to hire her. They wouldn’t be able to resist.

After all, Infinity Tech was a front, a façade for the government sponsored support structure for the Super Hero.

“Well, I have to say, I’m impressed.  I would be excited to work with you.”

Abigail hid a triumphant grin.

“But…” The man hesitated. “Before we take you on, you will need to talk to the President of the company.”

“Really?” She hadn’t meant to say that, but the word slipped out involuntarily. The man in front of her was the head of R&D for the superhero support team. Who on earth would be above him in terms of deciding whether or not she joined?

“Just a formality.”

Abigail thought it over, and then shrugged. “Sure, I am happy to meet him whenever.”

“I’m so glad to hear that.” An amused voice from the doorway spoke out, startling her.

It can’t be.

Stunned, she slowly turned around. A classically handsome young man around her age leaned against the doorframe, a friendly smile on his face. His gaze was a little intense, as if he could see right through her, but for the most part he looked like an average person, someone you’d pass by on the street and never thing twice about it.

But Abigail knew better.

“I heard enough, this ends now.”

A hand tightened around her throat, cutting off her oxygen. She gasped for breath, clawing at her assailant, but it was no use. She couldn’t compete against his super strength. His disdainful gaze pierced her, the massive rage lurking behind his smiling façade terrifying her. Something was wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“You okay?” The same voice broke her from the memory of her death. Shaking her head, Abigail reached out a single hand.

“Sorry. I was just surprised. I’m Abigail.”

“ I know.” He grinned. “I’m Ben.”

The man in glasses stood up respectfully. “This is the president of our company…”

“Don’t worry about all that.” Ben looked her over and chuckled. “I saw the blueprints you submitted with your application. Can you really make those Shielding Rays?”

Abigail lifted her chin pridefully, shrugging. “That and more.”

“Then I would be happy to have you on our team.” He reached out a hand.

Abigail hesitated, looking at the strong, scarred hand before her. Begrudgingly she gave him her hand, forcing down a shudder at the sensation of his skin against hers.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He looked concerned.

She forced a smile. “Amazing. I’ll take the job.”

She pulled her hand and there was only a slight resistance before he released it. Instructing the other man to help her get the paperwork signed, he waved one more time before leaving.

“Looking forward to working with you, Abigail.” With that, he was gone.

Abigail shuddered, cradling her hand, wishing she could wash it, or maybe boil it. Anything to erase the memory of how his hand felt.

She couldn’t help it. It bothered her.

After all, that hand was the last thing she felt before she died.

Ben was the hero who killed her.

Looked like it wasn’t going to be so hard to find him after all. She smiled at the man in glasses, startling him.

“When do I start?”

The next stage of her plan was in motion.

#writing #short story #fantasy #super hero #super villain #second life #revenge