#ok so we are shipping Steve with every breathing boy out there but suddenly is so hard to do that with Eddie too huh

[twpsyn-who]

My mungrove heart looking through harringroveson fanart : A win is a win. A win is a win *internally crying*

#harringroveson #mungrove #that moment when the only content you get for your ship is via OT3 rip #i'm a multishiper first and whatever society expects of me later #ok so we are shipping Steve with every breathing boy out there but suddenly is so hard to do that with Eddie too huh #don't mind me I'm in my mungrove mood it will go away after a few hours like it always does

[achubbydumpling]

[unfinished] Good Boy Bucky (Part 2)

Ok... So, I set myself this self-imposed challenge of writing/posting something every day in July, mostly for Get Beached. Up until now that's worked out to a few complete ficlets (yay me).

However, muses wax and wane and I've been blessed by Sappho the past few days—everything is fragments.

Posting my writing was just a way to set myself a deadline, but it's great to see some of you want to follow me. Since I'm the Captain of this ship I decide where we go and I set up this really nice calendar to cross off every day I post and I don't want to ruin my streak. So, this unfinished thing is me keeping my streak, because I make the rules!

Once again thank you to @wotvagyok for cheering me on and discussing many great chubby!kink ideas with me.

Rating: Explicit Words: 1850 Relationship: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Additional Tags: Dom/sub, Belly kink, Gainer!Dom Steve, Daddy kink

Read on AO3

(also, I've been reading too many fics by howdoyousleep which is why Steve's suddenly Bucky's daddy.. surprise 🎉) They’d played those games before. Bucky asking Steve to control him, use him, hurt him. After Steve’s transformation he’d begged him to really damage him. Use that supersoldier strength to bite bruises into Bucky’s skin that he’d feel for weeks. That was easy for Bucky. Pushing for more, asking for pain. He didn’t know when those wires had gotten crossed in his head, but as long as he could remember pain and pleasure had been linked in his mind. First time he could remember jerking off, coming with his hand in his mouth. Tooth marks on his skin that lasted all night.

This, however, was something new. Something that had only started when he’d found his way back from the Winter Soldier into his own mind, Bucky’s mind—whatever was left of that. There he’d found this. This squirming, insecure little thing that wanted to be good to Steve, didn’t want to push him, but slide against him. Move when he moved, like they were one instead of two separate halves.

Bucky could feel his legs tingling, slowly starting to go numb on the hard wood floor. Steve was still working his way through the entire pot of food. Bucky smiled when he saw the way his belly was starting to really strain the buttons on his shirt. That had started a bit after Bucky had found Steve again. When he didn’t think about finding Bucky all the time, he’d let himself indulge in the new foods of the 21stcentury.

When those first ten pounds had settled on Steve’s hips, he’d wanted to slim back down immediately—stay at fighting weight. Bucky had sniffed out that little bit of apprehension though. After Steve had really used his weight to throw Bucky around, he’d teased that out of Steve.

He’d admitted it made him feel powerful, even bigger than Bucky, felt that dominating strength even outside their bedroom when he felt his waistband biting into his skin and his belly rounding out against his shirts. When everyone’s eyes first went to that pudge Captain America had put on. He wanted more of that.

Bucky had soothed his mind of being useless for fighting the morning after. Pulling out all stops, using every aspect of the Winter Soldier training. Steve still managed to pin him within a few minutes. That little paunch under his belly button laying heavily into the small of Bucky’s back, having him rut against the mat underneath.

Steve’s voice pulled Bucky out of the memory, “You back with me, Buck? You looked a little lost there” Bucky could feel that warm smile spread on his face, didn’t even have to nod for Steve to understand.

Bucky scooted closer to Steve, resting his head against Steve’s right thigh. Steve must’ve made a good dent in the food. His belly was rounding out almost spherical. Bucky could see his belly button through the undershirt that showed through the widening gaps of the button down. The button of his trousers was slightly obscured by his belly, but by the way Steve dug his finger underneath the waistband every few bites, it must be getting tight.

Bucky finally moved after spending so long in the same position his legs had started falling asleep. The buzzing rush of pins and needles running up and down his thighs made him shiver. Instead of rubbing the sensation from his legs, he moved further up and buried his face against Steve’s belly. His hands came up to frame Steve’s ball gut on either side. Steve groaned with Bucky’s hands finally on his belly.

“Don’t pull the shirt too much. Don’t want help popping the buttons, you understand?” Bucky hummed agreeable and began digging his knuckles into Steve’s belly. He wasn’t quite full enough yet, that Bucky had to be careful with his touch.

He could just enjoy that heavy feeling of Steve’s belly in his hands, the way it pushed out against him. Steve really must’ve indulged every offering at the banquet. However, his supersoldier metabolism was working through the food fast. Would Steve also put on fat four times as fast as the average human?

Bucky didn’t have another moment to contemplate that question. Steve groaned above him, and Bucky eased up on the pressure he was rubbing his gut with. The pot must almost be empty by now.

+++

There’s barely anything left of the curry. Steve has been working steadily on eating everything, but now his pace was slowing down, and his breathing was getting heavier. Bucky continued rubbing large circles over Steve’s gut, concentrating on the stuffed upper belly.

Almost finished. Just one more bite. Just one more. Steve hadn’t asked for Bucky to speak and encourage him, but a constant stream of it flowed through his mind. So proud to see Steve indulging like this. To see him grow. Growing heavier than Bucky by the day. His titanium arm had weighed a full forty pounds, but even the vibranium arm gave him a leg up by about ten pounds. Still, he was nowhere near as heavy as Steve, and he relished in the difference when Steve held him down.

+++

The shirt grew tighter and tighter. The fabric groaning with the strain, loud enough now for even unenhanced humans to hear, but the buttons just wouldn’t budge. High-quality materials kept Steve from ripping through the buttons with his stuffed gut. He gulped for air, there was nothing left to eat, but he needed something more.

“Get me something to drink, Buck.” He jumped up and almost ran to the kitchen, coming to a skidding halt in front of the fridge. Something to drink. Bucky defaulted to a glass of water, but then thought better of it. Steve had left the decision to him. He grabbed two of the beer bottles at the bottom of the fridge and raced back. Steve took both bottles from Bucky’s hands and quickly opened one with the other.

He put the first bottle to his lips and downed it within a few seconds. He slammed the bottle on the side table to his right and heaved a few heavy breaths, just as it seemed like Steve would have to open that second bottle as well. The button on the roundest part of his belly popped off.

His belly sagged forward filling the bit of space. Time seemed suspended in the moment until a chain reaction started popping the rest of the buttons and tearing the fabric where the buttons wouldn’t give in fast enough. Steve’s overstuffed gut surged forward, but not by much, weighing high and tight on his torso. He was heaving shallow breaths trying to work around the spasming muscles in his belly.

+++

“Wanna get those pretty pink lips on me.”

“Got myself all ready, so you can fuck me.” Steve’s expression soured into a frown.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to be a good boy for me?” Bucky nodded meekly. “Do good boys talk back when their daddies tell them what to do?”

Bucky’s mind caught on that word—daddy—they’d discussed a few names for the position Steve would be in, in this scenario. However, Bucky had not anticipated the dizzying headrush he’d feel hearing that word out loud. Having Steve say exactly who he was to Bucky.

The feeling shot straight to his dick. His hips involuntarily snapped forward. He let his head fall with the shame that burned on his cheeks.

“Oh,” Steve cooed, “you like hearing me say that?” He shoved another spoonful of curry in his mouth, savouring the taste, only after swallowing the food did he turn his full attention back on Bucky.

“I’m your daddy, Buck. You see how I gotta keep you in check, hm? Just there. You’re always so eager.” Bucky nodded along to Steve’s words. “But when I’m here to guide you, you take such good care of me don’t you?”

Steve clearly expected an answer. Bucky swallowed around the word in his mouth, it felt heavy on his tongue, like a momentous occasion.

“Yes.” He paused and swallowed again. “Daddy.”

Steve pulled Bucky up and up, off his knees and back onto the couch.

“You’re gonna make me come with those pretty pink lips, ok?” Bucky nodded and went straight for Steve’s crotch, eager to please. Once again Steve stopped him. Disappointed frown on his face.

“I try to teach you—” Bucky realised what Steve wanted from him. “Yes, daddy.” Bucky could see Steve’s hand twitch where it was resting on his stuffed belly.

“Don’t interrupt me, boy.” Bucky ducked his head and bit down on his bottom lip.

“I know you’re trying to make this so good for me, but you still have to listen to me, ok?” Bucky sat up straighter and wiggled on Steve’s lap a bit, then tapped his index finger to his ear. Listening.

“Good boy.” Bucky felt that familiar sweet feeling prickle at the back of his neck. He waited for Steve’s next order. Instead, Steve pulled him close by the neck and surprised him with a kiss. He pulled back before Bucky could really get over his surprised reaction.

+++

“Turn around, baby boy. Heard you got yourself all nice and ready for me.”

“What were you thinking about while you worked yourself open like that?”

“Did you come, baby boy?”

“No? Oh, you’re so good, waiting for your daddy to come home and tell you when you’re allowed.”

“Push back a bit for me.”

“Quit your whining that’s not gonna make me give you my cock any faster.”/”Oh, be a good boy and stay quiet, won’t you?”

“Yes, look at you. If I pulled at that little gemstone, you’d be all nice and wet for me. Do you think you should ride my cock right now?”

“Whatever you want, daddy.”

“Good boy. That’s right. I get to decide what you need. Can you sit back for me?”

“Yes, look at that. So obedient.”

“Why don’t you fuck yourself on it? You think you can come on this little thing when you’re used to daddy’s cock?”

“That was a question.”

“Whatever you want, daddy.”

“That’s right, good boy. You come when I tell you to, don’t you? Look at you rutting away on this little toy and leaking all over yourself. Think I can add a finger next to the toy? Oh, look at you taking it so well. Does that remind you of daddy’s thick cock?”

“Keep it up, baby boy. Want you to come just on that toy. ‘m gonna jerk you off to help you a bit, but when you get close you gotta tell me, ok?”

“Already? Ok.”

“I know, I know. Just a bit now. Lean back.”

“C’mon, my fingers not enough?”

“Oh, you need permission, baby boy, is that it?”

“Such a good boy waiting for that.”

“Come for me.”

“Oh, you were so good for me. You gonna be ok leaving that plug in for a bit? Yeah, you’re tired I know. Taking care of your daddy and having your pussy fucked takes a lot out of you. Let’s get you to bed.”

#unfinished

[michaelneedssomefics]

On Fire

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: about 2K

warnings: none I think? tell me if something bothers you.

A/N: Guys I’m back with tons of fic ideas, don’t hesitate to ask me for anything too, I’m not limited to only whatever is on my masterlist. hope ya’ll are staying safe! 

You have regenerating powers. Your arm gets cut off? It comes back. But it’s painful. The part that regenerates feels like it's on fire.

You’re also in love with two men. And they’re both in love with you. What better way to solve it than to just date each other? Yea, your life is a mess. But your boys make it worth it. 

Whilst on the run from the government, Bucky, Steve and you became closer. One night you guys sat down together in the motel room you were currently staying in and opened up about your feelings.

You were inseparable since, and you loved each other deeply.

And then Thanos came to Earth.

You fought together in Wakanda along with other Avengers. You and Nat work in perfect harmony like before the Sokovia Accords, as if no time has passed at all.

“Duck!” Nat shouted at you, shooting at the creature coming behind you. “Thanks” you panted. You’ve been fighting for so long, when will this end? Your body was burning all over from scratches and wounds you were getting while fighting. You and Nat notice some of the Avengers entering the woods and went after them. When you got there you noticed Vision on the ground, and Wanda sitting motionless beside him. Thanos was no where to be seen. ”No” you whispered, “no no no Steve! Bucky!” you looked for your boys. You found them, frantically looking for you too. “Guys!” you called, and they look towards you. They seem relieved at first, but then there was a look of horror on their faces and suddenly your whole body was on fire.

It burned, so so bad. You fell to the ground, Screaming in pain. You watched as your body was dusting and regenerating over and over again feeling as if you’re burning alive. Bucky and Steve came rushing towards you, kneeling by both your sides. “Steve what do we do?  How do we stop it??” Bucky asked, feeling so useless, and Steve looks at him and then back to your screaming figure. “Baby, look at me” he softly asked you. You stopped screaming, but kept sobbing loudly, and looked over at Steve, looking into his eyes, which were filled with tears. “Baby there’s only one way this stops” Steve whispers and Bucky looks back up at Steve. “No way in hell are we doing this Rogers There has to be another way, we can’t lose her!” Bucky panics. “We promised her, Buck.” Steve was choking on his words. “We promised that if her body regenerates itself without stopping, we stop it, for good.” Steve looks back at you for confirmation. “Please” you choked out, and then started sobbing “make it stop, please!”. Nat put her hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Fuck!” Bucky shouted. Everything around him sounded far, the only thing he could hear was your screams, your pleads for help. “I love you,I love you so much baby” he told you. “We both do” Steve added. Bucky suddenly pulls out his hand gun, everything going silent, only your sobbing can be heard. “I Love you too” you choked.

Bang

Bucky shot where your brain was just regenerating itself. And then you were dusting off, for the last time. He fell to his knees, hands resting where you just were, his loud sobs replacing your screams. Steve not moving, silently staring off at nothing. 

It’s been 5 years, Tony invented time travel and the avengers were each in a different time, Steve, Bucky and Tony currently at the army base looking for the scepter and Pim particles. Steve was in an office, Bucky guarding the door. “What’s taking you so long??” he loudly whispers at Steve, and when he doesn't respond Bucky looks over, watching Steve silently staring through a window at his former lover, Peggy Carter. “Don’t you even think about it” he told Steve, grabbing him by the shoulder and yanking him out of the office, dragging him out of the facilty. “What did you think i was gonna do? Go over and say hi? What do you take me as?” “a dumbass” Bucky said. Steve pulled himself from Bucky’s grasp and stopped in his place. “What is this about?” Steve demanded. Bucky stopped and took a deep breath, “we’re in the middle of trying to get everyone back and you stop to look at Peggy? She moved on, and I thought you did too” he harshly said. “Oh, this isn't about the mission. This is about Y\N.” Steve said, “I've done my grieving, and it’s not my fault you’re still in the denial phase.” Bucky huffed, “screw this, I'm going back, if you want to stay and live in your little fairy tale you can go ahead and do it, but if... When Y\N comes back she’ll be heartbroken. Devastated. And that’ll be on you.” Bucky snatched the stone from Steve and went on his way, leaving Steve to think about what he just said.

“Where’s the other icicle?” Tony asked when he saw Bucky approaching with the scepter. Bucky just shrugged his shoulder, and a second later Steve came up running, “hey. We ready?”  he asked Tony, not looking over at Bucky. “Let’s do this.” 

Steve and Bucky have drifted apart after their loss in Wakanda. Bucky went back to his little hut and was never able to get over what he did. He shot you, right in the head. He was barely able to live with that. Steve on the other side dealt with the grief healthily, having Nat grieve with him at the avengers compound. He accepted the fact you were gone, and moved on. They both still loved you just as much as they did before you dusted, but they both also grieved very differently.

You woke up in the woods of Wakanda. “What the hell?” you groaned. Looking around you saw Wanda running towards you. “There you are! Come on, we have a fight to finish!”

When you were stepping out of the portal, the first thing you were looking for was Bucky and Steve. And there Steve was- holding Mjolnir?? Damn. and then you heard him shout: “Avengers!... assemble” and everyone was running towards Thanos’ army. The fight was hard, a lot harder than the one in Wakanda, but what kept you fighting was seeing Steve and Bucky after all of this ends. “Duck!” you heard a familiar voice shouting, and as you did you looked towards the voice, and there he was, your Bucky. You run towards each other, and you jump at him hugging him tightly, him returning the hug. “Fuck Y\N I missed you” he said. And suddenly there were explosions, Thanos’ ship shooting everywhere, and you were inevitably separated.  

After Carol Danvers showed up and wrecked the ships, the fight continued and suddenly you were almost hit by a flying hammer. Looking over to where it was flying towards you see Steve, and Steve see’s you. He takes a few large strides and engulfed you in his arms, kissing you passionately, but he quickly pulls away. Looking into each other’s eyes, you see in his eyes disappointment and confusion. Then he looks up and his face shows pure shock. You look behind you and watch as Tony snaps his fingers. Looking around you watch as Thanos’ army dusts away, and Thanos too. You look over at Steve and he kneels. You do as him and so do all of the avengers, Tony Stark, the ‘selfish’ billionaire just sacrificed himself for the whole universe. 

After Tony’s funeral you couldn't find Steve, but you assumed he was just getting ready for his mission to bring back the stones. Finding Bucky standing near a bench, you hug him from behind you, he tenses for a second and immediately relaxes back. “Hey you” you whisper, going around to face him and wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulls you closer from your waist, “hey yourself” you stand on your toes and kiss him, and every kiss since you came back felt amazing. You pulled back with a frown. “What’s wrong?” Bucky asked. “Is Steve ok?” you ask him, “he hasn't been showing any affection since that weird kiss out on the field and he’s definitely avoiding me.” Bucky sighs, “I'm not sure, doll”. You looked behind Bucky, finding Steve watching the both of you with a smile, his time travel suit on. ‘You have each other’ he thinks. 

You hug Steve tight and give him a kiss on the cheek, “come back quick ok?” “of course” he says. He gives Bucky a nod, receiving one back, and goes on his way. But they didn't manage to bring him back. You and Sam were panicking along with Bruce, until Bucky called, “guys”.

You all looked towards where Bucky was looking, seeing a gray set of hair, sitting on a bench. Sam went over to the old guy, smiling at him, and the confirmation of the old man’s identity was when he handed the shield over to Sam. you instantly understood what happened. He stayed back, with Peggy. You then looked over at Bucky, who was already watching you, ready for any kind of angry reaction. What he wasn’t ready for though, was when you went up to Steve, stood in front of him and said nothing. You just stared at each other. And then you hugged him. “I know you’re angry at me for leaving but-” Steve started but you cat him off “I'm not angry at you for leaving Steve i’m angry at you for not telling me you were leaving me.” you huffed, “did all we went through together mean nothing to you? Could you not have at least prepared me? Because ignoring and avoiding me isn’t it.” “I’m sorry, doll.” was all he said. You held back your tears, you could do that later, and sat beside him, “tell me about her”.

You and Bucky went back to the compound with the other avengers that night, and Bucky hasn’t spoken to you since the lake. When you found him hunched over a cup of tea in the kitchen you confronted him. “Bucky, we need to talk” you said and he sighed, “I know” “you do?” you asked. “Yea. Steve left so now there’s no ‘us’ anymore.” he said. “What? That's not it at all” you said as you sat down next to him, but Bucky wouldn’t look at you. “Baby, my love for you doesn’t depend on Steve being here, I love you regardless.” you kept trying to catch his eyes. “No.” he said, “ If not for that then for what I did to you back… back in Wakanda.” your brows furrowed in confusion “what…?” Bucky sighed loudly, “doll, I.. I shot you. You were gone because of me.” the dam broke. Bucky stood up abruptly, “How can you even stand being with me in the same room?” he asks, and you stand up and grab his face, “Bucky Barnes, you dumb ass, Thanos is the reason I was gone! You’re the reason I wasn't suffering anymore! I can’t even begin to describe the pain I was feeling, Buck. You promised me you would kill me if I was ever in that situation and you’ve kept your promise. I couldn’t thank you enough for that. You saved me.” both of you had tears streaming down your cheeks.

One of the reasons Bucky couldn’t deal with the grieving properly was that he convinced himself you were gone because of him. But now he knew he saved you from the torture of being on fire.

#steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers #captain america #angst #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x steve rogers #bucky barnes x steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #bucky barnes angst #marvel fic #marvel #infinity war #endgame

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

Girl out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 23

Brooklyn, NY 1943

I had spent most of my day at the hospital working my volunteer shift. As soon as I left the hospital there was James Buchanan Barnes standing in full head to toe army uniform. The sight of him took my breath away but shattered my heart. He did it. He enlisted. I smiled even though I suddenly wanted to cry.

“Well hello soldier” I teased as I stepped over to him.

He smiled down at me as he offered me his hand.

“How would you like to join me in finding our little troublemaker then enjoying a night of unashamed fun?” He asked as I grabbed his hand.

I laughed but nodded.

“Let me call my house real quick.” I said then turned to go back into the hospital.

“Why?” Jamie asked as he followed me.

“To tell my Pa I’m working a double shift.” I said looking back at him over my shoulder.

He chuckled and nodded. I walked over to the desk where one of the nurses were sitting. I pointed at the phone which she happily handed to me. I dialed my home number. My mother answered but was quickly replaced by my father after she said my name.

“Hey Pa, I was asked to work a double shift. They’re a bit short staffed.” I said sweetly.

“You got your blade?” He asked.

“Of course” I answered.

“Good, keep it with you. Be safe coming home.” He said in his normal soft tone.

“I will Pa” I said then hung up the phone.

I turned back to Jamie who was smirking devilishly. God he should be illegal. Especially in that uniform. I followed him back out of the hospital towards one of the recruitment centers.

“You seriously think he’d try again?” I asked him as we walked inside.

“You don’t?” He asked raising a brow.

Ok he had a good point. Steve was never one to back down from anything. No matter how many times he got hit he’d always get back up. He was tough but stupid at times. Jamie asked the nurse at the desk about Steve. She told us he was here but was denied. Big shocker. Jamie sighed then thanked her. We walked back out to the street.

“Where do you think he went?” I asked.

He shrugged. We walked a short distance down the street. We passed the theater. Just as we got to the alley beside the theater we both heard grunting and the sound of fists hitting flesh. We looked at each other then darted down the alley. Sure enough there was our Stevie getting the shit punched out of him.

“Hey!” Jamie shouted as he grabbed the guy.

He pushed him towards me making me step to the side.

“Pick on someone your own size.” He ordered the stranger.

The man swung at Jamie but he was quick to dodge it and throw his own punch which connected perfectly. I ran around them to Steve so I could help him back to his feet. Jamie was at our side a few seconds later.

“Sometimes I think you like getting punched.” Jamie said as he stopped in front of us.

“I had em on the ropes.” Stevie panted.

“How many times is this?” Jamie asked as he bent down and picked up a paper.

He opened it to see what it said. I had a feeling it was another one of Steve’s enlistment forms.

“Oh, you’re from Paramus now. You know it’s illegal to lie on your enlistment form. And seriously? Jersey?” He asked looking slightly disgusted.

Steve sighed as he took in Jamie’s full appearance.

“You get your orders?” He asked gesturing to the uniform.

Jamie was the one to sigh this time. My heart sped up at the anticipation for his answer.

“107th, Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.” He said as he stood tall.

Tomorrow? He’s leaving tomorrow?

“I should be going.” Steve said softly.

James chuckled then threw his arm over Steve’s shoulders.

“Come on man. My last night. Gotta get you cleaned up.” He said as he reached back for me.

I grabbed his extended hand then happily walked next to him. He let go of Steve but kept holding my hand. Would I ever see him again after tonight? Would he make it home? There was so many things I thought about telling him. Tings I thought I should tell him but I didn’t think I’d have the courage. What was the point anyway?

“Why? Where are we going?” Steve asked as we walked out of the alley.

Jamie handed him the paper in his hand.

“The future” he chuckled.

The Stark expo was always something special. That man was an incredible genius. I’d met him once or twice when he worked with my father. He was nice but a bit arrogant. The place was crowded as we walked inside.

“I don’t see what the problem is. You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know there’s 3 and a half million women here.” Bucky said as we walked.

“I’d settle for just one.” Steve muttered.

“Bucky!” A girl shouted from a few feet away.

James smiled as he waved at her and her friend.

“Good thing I took care of that for you.” James chuckled.

I stopped in my tracks as I watched both boys walk over to the two very pretty girls. My heart plummeted. Absolutely no reason for me to tell him anything. Right in front of me was what he wanted. I’m 23 years old and the only man I’ve ever wanted was one of my best friends. Now he’s leaving to fight in the war tomorrow and most likely I’d never see him again. It was time I just accepted that I’d never get what I wanted. Just as I turned to walk away from them I heard James shout my name. I ignored him as tears began to fall down my cheeks. How could I be so stupid.

I didn’t stop moving until I got to the pier. It was less crowded here. Most of the city was at the expo. I walked over to the bench closest to the water then sat down.

“Stupid” I whispered as the tears continued to fall.

“Why am I so stupid?” I asked myself.

I leaned forward putting my face in my hands. I let it out. Everything I’d held in and kept to myself all these years. Everything I wanted to say to James was now drowning me. I should have told him a long time ago. I don’t know how long I sat there crying but it felt like an eternity. I really hope James was enjoying his last night. I only wish I could have said goodbye to him.

“What the hell?” The familiar voice asked harshly.

Sat up straight but didn’t turn around. He sounded like he was panting. He stepped in front of me but I only looked at his shoes. They were shiny and brand new.

“Willow” he said softly.

He kneeled in front of me as he grabbed my chin. He held my head in place so he could look at me.

“Why did you run off like that? Why are you crying?” He asked looking genuinely worried.

I sniffled then pulled my chin out of his grasp.

“It doesn’t matter.” I whispered.

“It matters to me.” He said softly.

The look on his face was genuine concern. I knew he did care just not the way I wanted him to.

“I should have told you a long time ago James. I like you. A lot. I always have. Over the years I’ve known you it’s only grown stronger. Now you’re leaving to go fight in a war you might not come back from. I’m scared and I’m heart broken.” I spoke threw my tears.

James sighed then pulled me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around my waist holding me tightly against his chest. He kissed the top of my head which only made me cry harder.

“Willow, I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you. I always thought you could do better than me so I never tried to be anything more than your friend. All those girls I dated only lasted a week or less because they never came close to you. I think we were both idiots. We both should have had the guts to fess up to each other. We can’t take that back now but we can change it now.” He explained softly.

I took a deep breath then look up at him. He gently wiped my cheeks.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“I want to make you a promise. I will be come home. I’ll come home for you. When I do come home I want to marry you. Give you anything and everything you could ever want. Everything you deserve.” He spoke softly as his thumbs rubbed my cheeks.

I was speechless. He smiled softly then stepped back from me.

“You want to marry me?” I asked in almost a whisper.

“I couldn’t think of any other woman I’d want to annoy the piss out of for the rest of my life.” He chuckled.

“You idiot” I breathed out as I threw myself into his arms.

He hugged me tightly then kissed my temple.

“Is that a yes?” He asked when he pulled away.

“You better come home Barnes. I’ll be waiting to be Mrs. Barnes.” I said quietly.

He grabbed my face again then pressed his lips to mine. My mind went blank as my entire body came to life. Not only was this my first kiss but it was also sealing a promise between myself and Jamie. A promise I would hold him to for the rest of eternity.

“We should get back to Steve before he gets himself into trouble.” Jamie whispered.

I nodded. James grabbed my hand tangling his fingers with mine. The smile that took over my face felt peaceful. Everything felt brand new. It didn’t take long for us to get back into the crowd of people. Steve was sitting on a bench alone eating some popcorn.

“Stevie!” James shouted to get his attention.

Steve’s head popped up as he searched the crowd. When he found us he was on his feet speed walking to us. As soon as he reached us a man carrying a camera appeared out of the crowd. He noticed James then came over to us.

“Hello soldier, when’s your ship date?” He asked James.

“Tomorrow” Jamie said simply.

“Well why don’t you let me get a picture for ya?” He smiled.

“Sure why not” James chuckled.

He moved to put me in the middle of him and Steve. James put his arm around my waist pulling my body into his. Steve had to stand on his top toes to put his arm over my shoulders. I laughed at the sight of him just as the man took the photo. James thanked the man then gave him his mother’s address to send the photo to.

“Now we should go dancing.” James beamed as he clapped his hands together.

“Sounds fun” I chuckled.

I turned to ask Steve to join us but the blonde was no longer standing there.

“Where’d he go?” I asked James.

“Why does he do that?” James asked in a hushed voice.

We both scanned the area looking for our friend. My eyes landed on the recruitment center only a few feet away from us. I nudged Jamie with my elbow then nodded at it. He sighed then started walking towards it as he pulled me by my hand. Sure enough, Steve was standing right inside looking at an enlistment poster. James grabbed his shoulder to turn him around.

“You’re missing the point of tonight.” James told him with a small smile.

Steve shoved his hands into his pockets.

“You go ahead. I’ll catch up.” Steve said softly.

James sighed.

“You really gonna do this again?” He asked the smaller man.

“Well, it’s a fair. I’m gonna try my luck.” Steve shrugged.

“Stevie” I said softly as I stepped closer to him.

“As who? Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you or worse they’ll actually take you.” James said harshly.

“Look, I know you don’t think I can do this.” Steve said as he looked down.

“This isn’t about gallantry Steve. It’s war.” James said sternly.

“James that’s-“ I started but Steve stepped forward.

“I know it’s a war.” He said glaring up at James.

“Why? Why are you so keen to fight? There’s so many important jobs.” James tried to explain.

“What do you want me to do? Collect scrap metal in my little red wagon?” Steve asked in disbelief.

“Yes!” Jamie shouted.

“Ok that’s enough.” I said trying to pull James back.

“I’m not gonna sit in a factory Bucky.” Steve said simply.

James tried to ramble on.

“Bucky!” Steve shouted making James shut up.

We both stared at the blonde in disbelief.

“Come on, there are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do anything less than that. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.” Steve said in an exasperated tone.

“Yea right, cause you got nothin to prove.” James said narrowing his eyes at his friend.

I grabbed Jamie’s hand trying to get his attention. He sighed then looked down at me. He squeezed my hand then gave me a small smile.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” James said as he stepped backwards pulling me with him.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Steve said loudly.

James chuckled softly.

“You’re a punk.” He said as he walked back over to Steve.

The two boys hugged each other.

“Jerk” Steve said quietly.

James let him go then stepped back.

“Be careful” Steve told him.

James started to walk backwards again towards me.

“Don’t win the war until I get there!” Steve shouted.

James stopped then saluted Stevie before turning back to me. He draped his arm over my shoulders then guided me back into the crowd.

“You think he’s gonna be alright?” I asked softly.

James kisses the top of my head.

“Of course he is. He’s tough.” James said into my hair.

I didn’t want the night to end but eventually it did. James walked me all the way to the street next to mine. He kissed me several times on the lips, my cheeks, forehead, and temples. He rested his forehead against mine as he sighed.

“Please be careful James. I just got you. I can’t loose you.” I whispered.

“I’ll always be with you Willow. No matter what. I made you a promise didn’t I? I’ll be home before you know it and I’ll put a ring on this pretty little hand.” He said softly.

He grabbed my hand raising it up to his lips. He placed a soft kiss to my knuckles then let me go.

“Try not to worry about me doll. I’ll be fine.” He whispered.

He kissed me once last time then started walking away.

“James!” I shouted.

He stopped but didn’t turn around.

“I love you.” I told him.

He looked back over his should with a small smile.

“I love you Willow.” He said softly then continued walking.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the girl out of time #bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson fanfiction #sam x reader #sam wilson #fanfiction #flashback

[ajnerdess]

An Unexpected Surprise (Loki oneshot)

So, sadly, I don’t have the time to write a whole sequel to my full length fanfic, Loki’s Beloved, but since Endgame I have been mulling over ideas as to how a sequel would map out. I had this idea of Daya, my OC who is Loki’s wife finding out she’s pregnant after Loki’s death and how she would deal with that. So I wrote a little oneshot for it, angst and fluff ahead readers….

Steve waited for Bruce as he emerged from Shuri’s lab. He had caught sight of Daya practically running out of the lab. She hadn’t spoken since Loki’s death. Not a word, not to anyone, not even Thor who was also grieving over his brother’s death. Steve had done everything, brought her food, tried to comfort her, tried to make jokes. That had massively backfired, Daya had simply started crying the second the punchline left his mouth. She looked more upset than usual as she left the lab.

The captain stopped Banner.

“Bruce what is it? What’s happened?”

The scientist wiped his glasses before looking up at Steve. “It’s Daya, she’s pregnant.”

Steve widened his eyes in surprise. “You’re sure?”

Banner nodded. “Sure as anything Steve.”

The captain patted his back. “I gotta go see if she’s ok.”

Steve asked around to find out where Daya was, Wakanda was huge, she could be anywhere. Then he realised, if he were in her position, he would have gone to the quietest, most peaceful place there.

Outside, around the back of the palace was Daya, sat at the cliff’s edge, overlooking the waterfalls in the distance.

He approached her slowly, sitting down next to her without saying a word. She didn’t need his words right now, she just needed to know she wasn’t alone.

They sat there for an hour in silence, before Daya finally broke her silence.

“I have been going over and over in my head since he died to work out why I’m still alive. Asgardians are different to midgardians. In some cases, when we find our soulmates, our souls truly join, meaning when one dies, so does the other. Needless to say when Loki died and I still drew breath, I was confused, hurt, angry even. I started to wonder why, why fate was so cruel to keep me alive when my husband, the love of my life had moved on to Valhalla without me. I’ve felt guilty, for somehow thinking I don’t love him as much as I should. But now, now it makes sense.”

Steve listened to her as she spoke, before nodding in agreement. “Well, it’s a good thing then right, you’re still here for a reason. Loki gave you one last gift before he died, he’ll live on through this baby.”

Daya’s tears fell as she stared down at the ground. “Does it not seem cruel to you Steve? I was told for years that I could not bare children, Loki and I, we tried for years and nothing. And now, now he’s dead, now he can’t be here for me, now he can’t watch his own child grow, now he can’t be here to raise it with me, now I fall pregnant.”

Steve moved closer to Daya. “I know it doesn’t make sense now but maybe this is for a reason Daya. Maybe Loki knew Thanos would come, maybe he knew he would die, I’ve no doubt he did it for a good reason. Maybe he was powerless to stop his own death but this, this baby is the last gift he could give you, the reason for you to keep going on.”

Daya leaned against his shoulder as she cried and Steve wrapped an arm around her to comfort her as her tears fell.

 Six Months Later

Daya stretched out in bed as she tried to get comfortable. Since the snap and killing Thanos, Steve had been kind enough to let Daya stay with him.

As she lay in bed, trying to get to sleep, she stroked her stomach gently. The one thing she was grateful for was that the baby growing inside of her was safe, healthy and seemingly constantly kicking. Finally, after much discomfort and tossing and turning, Daya found sleep, and as she slept she dreamt…..

“And just when I thought you couldn’t get any more beautiful.”

Daya knew that voice, and yet, she refused to open her eyes.

“This is a dream.”

The voice drew closer. “Yes, perhaps, but it’s a good dream I promise.”

Daya opened her eyes and saw the most wonderful sight she had ever seen, Loki sat on the bed, smiling down at her.

Tears formed in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I don’t like dreams, I have to wake from them. And when I wake you aren’t there.”

Loki shook his head as he stroked her hair gently. “Shh darling, enjoy this dream, I’m here now.”

“Am I truly just dreaming this, or have you somehow managed to convince the guardians of Valhalla to let you return to me for a while?”

Loki smirked, tracing his hand over her collarbone softly. “It’s both a dream and a little use of my silvertongue in Valhalla to persuade the guardians to allow me a temporary crossover into this realm.”

Daya took one of his hands in her own and entwined her fingers through his. “Can’t you just crossover permanently?”

Loki shot Daya a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry my love, that’s not how it works.”

The trickster God noted her sad expression and leaned down to kiss her head softly. “Do not be sad my love, now is not the time to grieve my loss.”

His hands found Daya’s baby bump and he stroked her stomach softly, looking down adoringly at the bump.

Daya smiled as tears welled in her eyes. “He grows strong every day. He kicks, and rolls, he’s mischievous just like his father.”

Loki’s eyes filled to the brim with pride and he looked up at Daya with a grin on his face. “A boy? We’re having a boy?”

Daya nodded, meeting his grin. “Yes, I was going to wait for it to be surprised but then I wanted to be prepared, what with clothes and such.”

Loki’s own eyes filled with tears as he grinned down at Daya, running his hand over her stomach more.

“A son, we are having a son.”

Daya could have cried at his reaction alone. She had dreamt of the day she could tell Loki she was carrying his child, even after being told she couldn’t have children the scenario still played out in her mind. His response was exactly how she imagined it would be, he was excited, joyful and the most important thing of all, there for her. Loki leaned down to kiss her. The kiss felt so real, as if he were truly there with her. He was gentle and slow, as if kissing her would somehow disrupt the baby’s peace.

“Can I speak to him?” Loki asked after breaking the kiss.

You nodded.

The God of mischief leaned down to address the baby.

“Hello little one. It’s your father here, I’m sorry I can’t be there to meet you when you finally bless this world with your presence. I’ve no doubt you will be the most beautiful babe in the world with this goddess as your mother. I want you to know that I wish I was there to see you grow more than anything else in the entire universe, in any universe. I want to see you learn and laugh and love, I died to try and take Thanos’ focus off you and your mother, it was never my desire to leave your beautiful mother to raise you without me, I hope one day you come to understand that and don’t hate me for not being there.”

Daya reached out to stroke his hair at that, not wanting Loki to feel guilty about anything.

“I love you little one, I always will. When you are old enough, I want you to take good care of your mother, just as I’m sure your mother will take perfect care of you while you are young. Be safe, be strong, learn from your mistakes, learn better from your mistakes more than I did, that’s for sure. Remember that life is beautiful, and there are people around you that love you, again, another fact that often escaped me during my time alive. You are deserving of being happy and loved, accept the love and happiness that you are blessed with and when you are older, I truly hope you find someone who loves you as unconditionally as your mother loved me.”

Loki kissed Daya’s stomach and the baby kicked, causing Loki to look up at Daya excitedly.

“He heard you my love” she said as Loki kissed her stomach once more, before leaning up to kiss Daya’s lips gently.

“Loves you.”

Loki stared at his wife in confusion.

“You said loved you, I love you, it isn’t past tense” she answered.

He smiled as he kissed her forehead. “My apologies my love.”

“You said you sacrificed yourself for me and the baby? You knew I was pregnant when you died?”

Loki paused as he stroked her hair gently. “I sensed my end was close, just as Odin sensed his own demise. I didn’t want to worry you, besides, there was no way around it, we were trapped on a ship, Thanos found us.”

Daya shook her head. “You should have told me, we might have changed course, we might have escaped Thanos, you could have not antagonised him by trying to stab him.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And risked him hurting you and the baby? No, my darling, I would never allow such a thing, no matter what the cost was.”

Daya stroked his cheek gently as her tears fell. He quickly wiped her tears away, his fingertips lingering on her face.

“You are staying with the soldier?”

Daya shook her head. “Loki it isn’t like that, we are just friends.”

Loki ran a thumb over her lower lip gently. “Shh, I’m not angry my love, you deserve to be happy. The soldier has always vied for you affections, perhaps you should let him make you happy.”

“You make me happy Loki.”

“I know. I know my love, but in my absence, the soldier is a good man, let him be there for you. I have to leave soon my darling.”

Daya clung to his hand suddenly. “No please, please don’t go Loki, please don’t leave me again. I don’t want to wake up alone, I don’t want to be without you.”

Loki stroked her stomach, worried the panic would affect the baby, he gently shushed her as he comforted her.

“It’s alright my love, you’ll be alright, I promise you, you’ll be fine.”

As soon as Daya’s tears fell, Loki wiped them away. He comforted her until her tears ceased.

“Please Loki, at least stay until I fall asleep, I can’t watch you leave, I can’t say goodbye again” she whispered.

He nodded and nestled in close to her, wrapping her arms around her and the baby bump and kissing her neck gently until exhaustion took over and she fell asleep in his arms.

 Three months later

“Steve, I can’t do this!”

Steve Rogers held Daya’s hand as she cried out in pain.

“Daya it’s ok, you can do this sweetheart, you have this, come on, just one last push” he told her as the nurses stood by and encouraged Daya to finish pushing.

Daya squeezed his hand as she screamed out for one final push.

She was met with the cries of a baby, causing her head to fall back on the pillow momentarily in relief.

As the nurses cut the umbilical cord of her baby, she looked up.

“Where is he? Is he safe? Is he alright?”

The nurses turned with her baby wrapped up in blankets, they handed her the baby and Daya’s heart almost burst at the sight.

There he was, hers and Loki’s son, black hair and blue eyes just like his father. He was beautiful, and he instantly looked up at Daya and babbled happily in her presence.

“Oh, he’s so beautiful, hi, hello there little one” she breathed, smiling down at her baby boy. She looked up at Steve, who was beaming down at them both.

“Good job sweetheart, he’s adorable. Good job” the soldier smiled down at her.

One of the nurses looked over. “Do you have a name yet? It’s not a problem if not, some parents take weeks to decide.”

Daya smiled down at her happy baby.

“His name is Nari. It was Loki’s idea, from the first day we were married, that was his idea.”

She looked up at Steve to gauge his reaction to her son’s name.

The soldier smiled as Nari gripped Daya’s finger, holding it gently. “Nari, I like it.”

Daya grinned down at the baby, and she hoped somewhere, Loki was smiling down at him too.

 Nari is actually the name of Loki and Sigyn’s son in Norse Mythology, so that’s where I got the inspo from. Yes I toyed with the idea of her calling the baby Loki, but then I thought, bit weird, looking at your baby and always associating it with your dead hubby, especially when the baby was always meant to look very much like his father. Hope you guys enjoyed!

#loki #loki odinson #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki oneshot #oneshot #tom hiddleston #fluff #angst #my writing #fanfiction #fanfic #loki laufeyson

[hcwkward]

Bruises (2/?)

Summary: A simple loss of control and suddenly your entire world is thrown upside down.

Ship: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Word Count: 1.7k+

Triggers: PTSD, Fighting, Violence

Author’s Notes: And we have part two! I promise this series will not be angst for the entire thing, there will be happier things to come... eventually...

Taglist: @reviewfanfics​​

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Part One | Part Two 

“This isn’t an argument, Y/N,” he sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes, not that he’d been able to look you in the eye since he had turned up at your door some minutes earlier. It was the first time he had even spoken to you in days, having gone out of his way to avoid you since the incident in the gym. You had tried to talk to him, tried to reassure him that you were alright, covering your bruises in fear that they might show just how deeply he had hurt you, but he was nowhere to be seen, leaving your numerous calls and texts unanswered. But then there he was, standing at your doorway, his posture drooped, uttering those words that you feared were coming… ‘we need to talk’.

“So, what, I don’t even get a say?” you huffed in exasperation, your arms crossing defensively in front of you. Things had been going so well between you before the incident. Sure, they weren’t perfect, but what relationship was? But even with the occasional squabble or the way he would suddenly shut off, not able to express his thoughts and feelings, it was still the best relationship you had ever been in, and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to try and fight for it. “You’re just going to break up with me without even letting me say that I think this is ridiculous?”

Bucky merely gave you a look in response, one that clearly said ‘well, you’re saying that now, aren’t you?’ But he didn’t let you continue, cutting in with a deep exhale that you just knew would be followed by words you wouldn’t want to hear. “It’s over, Y/N, for the sake of the team I think- I think we should just leave it at that.”

For the sake of the team? Since when did that matter when it came to your relationship? This wasn’t about them, this was about you, about the way he had lost control and subsequently freaked out, about the way he hadn’t even been able to face you or see if you were ok after Steve had intervened. This was about the way you felt about one another, that magnetic pull that drew you close, that chemistry that made your skin feel like it was on fire.

From the moment you had laid eyes on one another you knew something was different, you could feel an incomparable pull towards him, curious to know everything about his personality, ready to fight at his side, wanting to make him smile. At first you had thought it some stupid little crush, your subconscious being pulled towards the former bad boy, some desire to fix him, but you soon found that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t just the way his hair hung around his face, framing those stunning blue eyes with dark locks of hair, it wasn’t the way he looked in a leather jacket, or the way his prosthetic arm shone when the light caught it. It was the way he looked at you when no one else was around, those small smiles reserved only for you, the way he would chuckle under his breath when he heard you sassing Steve behind his back.

Soon it became more, the way he held you close when you were alone, the way he always looked out for you, even when there was no danger at all, the way he would never hesitate to grab you food or a drink if he was getting up. He was caring in so many silent ways, and even now, when he was quite literally breaking your heart, you knew exactly why he was doing it. He was trying to protect you from himself.

Anger filled your veins, you wanted to scream and shout, wanted to yell at him that you wouldn’t let things end this way, that you weren’t about to let him give up like this, but he was determined, and he was already walking away.

Two weeks had passed, and it was clear you were not taking the breakup well. You were barely eating, your sleep schedule was erratic at best, and your work in the field was suffering as a side effect. Natasha had been by your side at every moment, taking over for Bucky whenever you were meant to work together, comforting you when you cried so hard that tears simply would no longer emerge, reassuring you that things would get better. You appreciated it, you really did, but each time you could feel the unsaid words, you needed to move on.

If only it was that simple.

Bucky was still avoiding you, but not as much as he had been at first. You saw one another in the kitchen, or whenever Clint would demand a movie night for the whole team, but he would always be careful not to get too close, not to speak to you or let his gaze linger on you, and somehow that hurt more than the breakup itself.

You were tired. Tired of the fighting, tired of having to keep a brave face for the rest of the team, tired of seeing him every day and being reminded of all that you had lost.

You didn’t tell anyone your plan until it was already in action, but you suspected that Natasha had figured you out already. Subtle words of encouragement, sad smiles, hugs that lasted that moment longer than necessary; she had to know something was going on. It wasn’t until you were packing up your suit after a particularly hairy mission that the tears began to spill. You would miss this, miss the adventures, the thrill of the action, the certainty that your team had your back. But you couldn’t stay, you couldn’t bare to continue on like this. It was time to move on.

“You are planning on saying goodbye, right?” a low voice called from your doorway. You didn’t have to turn around to know there was a sad smile on the super soldiers lips.

Doing up the zip on the last of your suitcases, your head hung low, unprepared for the sad farewell that was about to happen. With a calming breath you turned to face Steve, a matching sad smile in your own features as you looked guiltily around the room.

“Did Nat tell you?” You asked in a small voice, one that gave away the emotions you so desperately wanted to hide.

“Nah, figured something was up. Heard the sad sigh over the coms when I said we were ready to go back home,” he explained, slowly making his way into the room, giving a customary glance at the horrid emptiness of it all. “Is this because of Buck?”

You wanted to deny it, wanted to say it wasn’t his fault, ready to defend him even now, but you hesitated. “Yes and no,” you settled for, sitting down with a sigh. “I think it’s time I gave the whole ‘having a life’ deal a go, can’t really do that if I’m fighting off enemies every day.”

Sitting down next to you, Steve have a single nod in understanding. “Where will you go?”

“One of my old SO’s has a job for me in London,” you began, a small smile growing on your lips at the thought. “Lucky for me, SHIELD made sure we all had something else under our belts in case we needed to disappear, I chose a teaching degree.”

“You’re going to teach?” Steve spoke in surprise, never having considered the profession for anyone who fought for a living. “Like, martial arts or-”

“No, Steve,” you laughed, a vision of your future students doing martial arts filling your thoughts for a moment. “Primary school. My old S.O. is the deputy headmaster at a small school in Norwich. I think it’s about as far from all this as I could get, and I could use that.”

Silence fell over the two of you, both lost in your own thoughts of what had been, what would be, how on earth you were going to move forwards from all of this. It was going to be an adventure, that’s what you kept telling yourself. It would something so incredibly different, filled with challenges of its own. It could be the chance for the life you had always dreamt of, for a chance to fall in love and grow old with someone, for a chance to heal.

A buzz from your phone drew your attention. It was time. With an apologetic smile to Steve, you stood, beginning to grab at your bags.

“Already?” he asked in such a small voice that it nearly brought a tear to your eye. “You weren’t going to say goodbye, were you?”

Your heart clenched at his words, despite the fact that they were true. You hadn’t intended on telling anyone, planning on simply leaving with a short note to explain that you were moving on. But you couldn’t tell him that, the words were simply too hard to say. So instead you offered him a wonky smile, trying to encourage yourself to keep moving.

“Cab’s here,” you spoke simply. With a nod, Steve forced a somewhat stoic expression on his face, as if this were merely another mission he had to get through, and stood, taking your heaviest bag from your hands.

“Come on, then, least I can do is walk you down,” he sighed, knowing there was no way he was going to be able to talk you out of this, no matter how much he may want to. You had made your mind up, and you deserved better than him trying to convince you to stay. You deserved a life, a chance at having that white picket fence that seemed so unlikely when fighting bad guys day in and day out.

Grabbing your bags before you had a chance to argue, Steve gave an attempt at a reassuring smile, nodding for you to go ahead. The gesture was small, but somehow it felt calming, as if he was not only accepting your decision, but approving it. You didn’t think you had needed that sense of assurance, but somehow now that you had it, it meant the world. Maybe everything really would be alright now. Maybe this was what you needed. Maybe you could finally live

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes reader insert #mcu #mcu imagine #mcu imagines #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #imagine #imagines #my fic #bruises

[musicoccurred]

Pearl Jam -The Home Shows

Who: Pearl Jam Where: The Home Shows, Seattle, WA. When: August 8, 10 2018

I've said this before and it remains true. A Pearl Jam concert is much more than just a show. It's a celebration. A celebration of music, of a long relationship and of course, life. Very few places do I feel absolutely at home but a Pearl Jam show is one of them. Certainly we're all different people but for 3 hours we're one. These Seattle shows reminded me of a pilgrimage, I'm sure there were lots of Seattle folks there but most of the people I chatted with were from other places. For me it was a bucket-list item, to see Pearl Jam in their home city, a city that gave us so much music and so many iconic bands.

These concerts, "The Home Shows," given that name because the tour takes place mainly in MLB stadiums, had a similar feel to PJ20 the 20th anniversary shows in Alpine Valley, Wisconsin in 2011. No, there weren't multiple bands on the bill, but there were multiple activities and certainly a festive vibe. The Seattle Museum of Pop Culture, aka MoPop, had an exhibit dedicated to Pearl Jam opening on the Saturday after the shows but 10c (Ten Club, Pearl Jam's fanclub) members could gain access on Thursday during the day off between shows. London Bridge Studios where Ten was recorded also had Pearl Jam specific tours and legendary concert photographer Danny Clinch had a pop up shop with photos available for autograph and purchase. Did I mention it all took place in Seattle? Not only a great city but a city full of Pearl Jam history, we're talking The Off Ramp, Moore Theater, Benaroya Hall, Showbox, Easy Street Records, the list goes on!

Wednesday, Night 1

It has become popular again for bands to have artists make posters for concerts, particularly individual posters for each show. Pearl Jam is one of the few that's always done this. It is an expensive habit and the posters are treated as currency among 10c members. For these shows there were 5 unique posters all by artists Pearl Jam has used extensively in the past. A point of contention here, at their larger shows, the band has started setting up tents to sell merch throughout the day and even on days before and after the shows. Because they are open to the public, it's safe to say there are people there buying and going straight to eBay. The lines took many hours to navigate, there has to be a better way. How about when a 10c member buys a ticket through the band's website we get a code unique to us that allows us to purchase merch online and have it shipped to our homes? Place whatever quantity limits you want, something needs to change. A highlight of waiting around in the sun all day, I met a cool young man that had traveled from Tokyo to attend his first Pearl Jam show. There were people coming to Seattle from all over the world, this guy was in for a night he won't soon forget.

Several years ago Pearl Jam shows began lasting +- 3 hours. They always played a lot of songs but when this happened they finally shed the opening act. No complaints here. At 8:30 straight up the band took the stage to a loop of "Aye Davanita" from Vitalogy and ease into "Long Road." Now PJ's MO is that they play a quiet track or two then something noisy. Not on this night, Eddie wanted it to be an intimate gathering so "Long Road" led to "Release" followed by "Low Light" and crowd favorite, the singalong "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town." Genius. How do you transition from slow and quiet into something noisy? "Corduroy" that's how. Even though it's a song that PJ play pretty much every show it remains a favorite for me. Its long intro whips the crowd into a frenzy that continued with "Go,"  "Do the Evolution" and the Ramones-esque "Mind Your Manners." Each setlist is crafted by Ed with input from the band to fit the venue, audience and history of the band/city. Probably the most notable moment of the show was when Eddie broke down the meaning of "Evenflow." "Evenflow" is a concert staple, performed pretty much every time they play. In the 90s it was the song people liked when they didn't like PJ. Fast drums and guitars, weird lyrics just a fun rock song. But on this night, after the band had worked hard with politicians and local businesses to raise money and awareness for Seattle's horrible homeless problems Ed opened up a bit. When the band had just formed they spent a lot of time in the Belltown/Pioneer Square areas of Seattle. They befriended another Eddie, this one a homeless African-American Vietnam Veteran with mental health problems. He was known for his wild hair and wearing a tarp like a poncho. When he was mentally present he would tell them about Vietnam and his struggles with returning to civilian life. Other times, he simply wasn't there mentally. His visits greatly affected the band and when they came back from a tour they couldn't find him. Searching all over Seattle they finally found him sleeping on concrete under a viaduct. Returning from a later tour they again couldn't find him and discovered he had passed away. Suddenly "Evenflow" makes perfect sense, Ed held on to that story for 28 years. Other highlights, Ed performed a solo rendition of Jack White's "We're Going to be Friends" in honor of teachers everywhere. During the performance, his daughters danced with their favorite teachers (clad in Mariners jerseys with Vedder on the back) behind him. During the encore Brandi Carlile joined the band for "Again Tonight" a song PJ had covered for a benefit album. I love when other musicians join Pearl Jam on stage and look out at the giant crowd with wide eyes, Brandi ever the badass, threw her head back and screamed into the Seattle sky. They closed the show with "Rockin' in the Free World" and my least favorite live song, "Yellow Ledbetter" the show clocked in at 33 songs over 3 hours.

Thursday, Day Off

I snoozed on the London Bridge Studios tickets so that was out. I was looking forward to roaming around the city and attending the Pearl Jam exhibit at MoPop. Situated near the Space Needle and the Experience Music Project, MoPop is covered in tourists. Lucky for us this was a 10c event only. Jeff Ament is the de facto historian of the band keeping massive amounts of memorabilia in a warehouse. This band kept everything. I mean EVERYTHING. They have the cassettes that Stone/Jeff and Ed mailed back and forth to begin their relationship. Seeing these in person was powerful. Pearl Jam have provided the soundtrack to my life and quite literally if those tapes didn't exist I wouldn't have been standing there all those years later. Favorite moments: seeing the typed and written lyrics and loads of Ed's notebooks, the incredible statue of Andy Wood that Jeff commissioned (more on that here) as well as posters from every show. If you're in Seattle I highly recommend seeing this exhibit.

Friday, Night 2

Again starting at 8:30 PJ opens with three slow burners, "Oceans," "Footsteps" and "Nothingman" before blasting off with "Why Go" and "Brain of J." This was going to be awesome. I love the 2nd PJ shows, all of my needs are met by the first night. Nervousness is gone, just relax and enjoy the show. This show really focused on older material, only two tracks were post 2000. The band were much looser as was the crowd. The singalongs were louder and sharper, I refrained, choosing instead to just absorb the love and energy flying around the stadium. During "I Won't Back Down," a solo tribute to the great Tom Petty, Eddie asked the crowd to turn on their cell phone flashlights so Tom could see. The result was mesmerizing. The band also honored Chris Cornell by performing "Missing," a very rare deep cut. Speaking of Cornell, Kim Thayil joined the band for "Kick Out the Jams" and later joined Steve Turner and Mark Arm of Mudhoney (and Green River!) for "Search and Destroy" and "Sonic Reducer." Favorite moments: the aforementioned songs plus Ed hosing up the intro to "Rearviewmirror" to the point the band had to stop. Ed broke into "Fernando" by Abba saying that's what he was hearing. What can I say, the guy is hilarious. Other notable moments, Mike's solo on "Evenflow" was one of the best I can remember. What a beautiful night. 36 amazing songs over 3.5 hours in the glorious Seattle night.

Setlist Night 1:

Long Road Release Low Light Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town Corduroy Go Do the Evolution Mind Your Manners Throw Your Hatred Down (Neil Young cover) Lightning Bolt Given to Fly All Those Yesterdays Even Flow Help! (The Beatles cover) (snippet) Help Help Black Setting Forth Play Video I Am a Patriot (Little Steven cover) Porch Encore: We're Going to Be Friends (The White Stripes cover) (live debut by PJ) Nothing as It Seems Let Me Sleep Breath Again Today (with Brandi Carlile) State of Love and Trust Rearviewmirror Encore 2: Wasted Reprise Better Man (with “Save It for Later” tag) Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd cover) Alive I've Got a Feeling (The Beatles cover) Rockin' in the Free World (Neil Young cover) Yellow Ledbetter

Setlist Night 2:

Oceans Footsteps Nothingman Why Go Brain of J. Interstellar Overdrive (Pink Floyd cover) Corduroy Rats In Hiding Whipping Even Flow Missing (Chris Cornell cover) (live debut by PJ) Daughter (with "W.M.A" and "It's Ok" tags) Immortality I'm Open Unthought Known Can't Deny Me Do the Evolution Lukin Porch Encore: I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty cover) (EV solo) Thin Air Better Man (with "Save It for Later" by English Beat tag) All or None Crown of Thorns (Mother Love Bone cover) Kick Out the Jams (MC5 cover) (with Kim Thayil) Spin the Black Circle Play Video Rearviewmirror (with "Fernando" (ABBA)… more ) Crazy Mary (Victoria Williams cover) Jeremy Leash Search and Destroy (Iggy and The Stooges cover) (With Kim Thayil, Steve Turner, and Mark Arm) Sonic Reducer (Dead Boys cover) (With Kim Thayil, Steve Turner, and Mark Arm) Alive Baba O'Riley (The Who cover) Yellow Ledbetter

-JS

#concert #Pearl Jam #musicoccurred

[fangirling-and-lovin-it]

Not An Experiment chapter 9: These Things Happen

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12234057/chapters/30720411

“Where’s Stark?!”

The Avengers were out on a mission, taking on a small but well equipped criminal organisation, calling themselves, 'The Reclaimers', that was dealing in black market alien tech.  No one had heard from Tony in a few minutes and Steve was trying to ignore the growing sense of worry he was feeling and focus on the job in hand.

Then Tony's voice came out of the comms system in their ears and Steve felt a rush of relief.

“I’m bringing you another party.” Tony suddenly appeared from around a building with a group of men riding miniaturised tanks on his tail.

“We need to have a talk about your understanding of the word, “party!” Natasha called out over the sounds of gunfire and yelling.

“I’ll bring balloons next time.” He swooped upwards as he reached the other Avengers and they were ready to take on the group he'd tricked into the ambush.

In the flurry of arrows, bullets, Hulk knocking out assailants and Cap throwing his shield, one of the miniaturised tanks slipped around them in the chaos.

After several intense minutes of fighting the Reclaimers had either retreated or lay unconscious on the ground around The Avengers. As Steve was about to ask were Stark was again, they heard the sound of an explosion behind them and all spun around to see flames and smoke emanating from where Tony had last flown to.  Steve's feet started moving before his brain had registered to move, putting his shield up to protect himself he ran into the flames.

"Cap!" Clint called out as one of the Reclaimers groggily sat up and Natasha restrained him with cuffs.

"I've got Stark, you take care of them!"  

Making his way through the smoke Steve squinted, looking across the rubble of what had once been an abandoned building. Then he saw something red and shiny right ahead of him.  “Oh, God. Tony! " He ran over and knelt next to him, taking him in his arms and pulling off his mask. Tony's eyes were closed but he was still breathing and once again, Steve's body started moving before he even thought to move. It was instinctive. He emerged from the smoke moments later carrying Tony over his shoulder.

"Is he....?" Natasha almost whispered as she, Clint and Hulk ran up to him.

"He's alive but he needs a doctor. Now."

As SHIELD agents arrived to clean up the area, taking the remaining, living Reclaimers into custody, they all hurried into the ship, Clint piloting as Natasha used the new technique that she and Bruce were developing to help him calm and turn back from the Hulk to himself again.

She looked over at Steve, standing over a motionless Tony laid out on the table

                                                                                                                                                 *********

"We were outnumbered! The mission briefing obviously didn't have all the intel!"

"We gave you all the intel we had on this!"

Steve and Nick Fury were arguing outside the treatment room at Avengers Tower where Dr Cho and her team were working on Tony.

"Well, it wasn't enough! What about Stark?! If he doesn't pull through..... " Steve trailed off, his expression a mixture of anger and worry.

“Is there something I should know, Captain?”

“Are you implying something, Director?”

Attempting to dissipate the growing tension, Natasha spoke up.

“Steve’s just worried like we all are. You wanted us to become a team, wanted us to put our lives on the line together. Well, this is what happens.” She gestured around the corridor to a pensive Clint who was busying himself polishing an arrow that was already pristine and Bruce who was looking hopefully at the door to the treatment room every few seconds.

Fury sighed. “I have to make some calls. I'll be back to see how he is," He said, and stalked off down the hallway.

Steve sighed heavily. “Thanks…. for stepping in.”

“Fury can be a little rough around the edges but his heart is in the right place. He wants The Avengers to work.”

Steve nodded, pausing before asking the question he already knew the answer to.  “You know, don’t you?”

“About you and Tony? Yes.”

He sighed again, not sure what to say next.  “We didn’t plan it…it just…”

“Happened?”

Steve nodded slowly.

“I get that, these things tend to creep up on you …unexpectedly,” she said softly, resisting the urge her eyes had to dart over and glance at Bruce as she spoke. “ I’m not judging. For any reason.”

He nodded again, returning her soft smile. “Does anyone else know?”

Natasha was used to lying, she’d literally been trained in the intricacies of deception since she was a child, but she realised, gladly, that this time she didn’t have to. Thanks to Clint’s amusing inability to see what was right in front of him.

“Nope, just me.”

Fury suddenly reappeared, a flicker of something Steve thought could’ve been relief flashed briefly across his face.

“Apparently, our boy just woke up.”

Steve took what felt like his first breath since he'd  found Tony in the rubble, and tried not to smile any more than the others as they all filed into the treatment room. Tony was sat up in bed, grinning as if nothing has happened and he hadn't been on the wrong end of a miniaturised tank explosion just a couple of hours earlier. But Steve knew differently, he could see unease in Tony's eyes.

“So, I hear I got saved by Captain America?”

"Well Bruce saved you last time so I guess it was my turn," Steve said with a wry smile.

"Actually that was 'the other guy' so technically I still get a turn too."

"Hey, I do not need saving! I'm Iron Man not a damsel in distress."

" 'Damsels' don't usually need saving, Tony, I thought Cap was supposed to be the one with a nineteen forties mindset."

"I'm not sure if that was a compliment," Steve said with another wry smile and a shrug, 'But I'll take it."

The conversation descended into Clint,  Bruce and Steve comparing how many Iron Men/Tony Stark’s they could carry through flames, while Natasha rolled her eyes, before Dr Cho ushered them all out, saying she wanted to keep Tony for observation overnight just in case he had a concussion.

A few minutes later, Steve returned, slipping in through the door unseen and Tony's face lit up.

“I was hoping you’d come back.”

Steve planted a soft kiss to his lips.

"What if Doctor Cho gets suspicious, seeing you here when she comes to check on me?" ” Tony whispered, kissing him back and revelling in the sensation of Steve's mouth on his own again.

"We can’t really hide this forever." Steve kissed him once more before taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. "Natsaha already worked it out."

"Ah....well, I shouldn’t be surprised, she’s literally a super spy. Fooled me when we first met and I just thought she was my hot new employee. "

Steve raised his eyebrows. “You and Romanov? Why am I only hearing about this now?”

Tony didn’t even try and suppress his smirk. “Is Captain America jealous?"

"If you think that, you must really have a concussion."

Tony just grinned in response, deciding that was a, "Yes".  “So..you’re ok with it if people…if the team…finds out about us?’

Steve was quiet for a moment and then said, “I nearly lost you today. Honestly, I’m just relieved that you’re asking me how I’ll feel when everyone finds out we’re together instead of me staring an empty bed wondering how I’m going to live the next seventy years of my life without you.”

Tony didn’t say anything, he wasn't sure how to respond. But he smiled. The kind of smile that felt fresh on his face, like a new day dawning. The kind he hadn't he hadn't felt in a long time.  Steve noticed it too, he moved in his chair to get more comfortable, smiling back at Tony, knowing that he wasn't just seeing the man beneath the amour now. But the man beneath the mask as well.

"You look like you're getting comfy for the night there, Captain"

"Is that a problem Mr Stark?"

"No, I'm just concerned about those old bones of yours."  Tony smirked playfully and turned in the bed so he was facing Steve.

"Well, thank you for your concern, but you do realise that technically you're older than I am?"

"Well...technically.....I suppose....." Tony said with mock exasperation. "Oh God, there's probably Stony fanfiction where I'm your sugar daddy isn't there?"

They both burst out laughing. "Alright that's too much to process right now, it's been a long day and I'm still afraid to Google that, 'mpreg,' thing you mentioned the other day."

"Yeah, I may have thrown you in at the deep end with that one, Tony said with a yawn. "Seriously though, You don't have to stay.go get some sleep."

"How about I just stay till you fall asleep?"

Tony nodded, smiling as he closed his eyes, allowing the drowsiness of the medication Dr Cho had given him to take over. Steve watched him fall asleep, knowing that he'd be there all night, not leaving the side of the man he now knew he was falling for.

#stony fic #stony fluff #avengers fanfiction #atony #my boys #ao3 #ao3 f #my fic #not an experiment #steve and tony