#one day all those boxes will be green and he will medal

[raininyourblackeyes]

Roman's still not beating the "one clean program per season" allegations

#one day all those boxes will be green and he will medal #one day #figure skating #roman sadovsky #worlds 2024

[aidaronan]

Valentine's Day at the bar is always a bit chaotic. There are the couples who'd prefer something simplistic. There are the singles and groups who'd rather get fucked up than think about how no matter how emotionally evolved they feel the other 11 months of the year, February always tears down the walls and leaves them feeling raw.

Eddie gets it. He pours a little heavy for those ones even though he knows he'll probably have to clean up something unholy in one of the bathrooms later.

It takes him a while to notice the guy tucked away in one of the back booths. He'd seen him earlier when he came in, a white rose in his hand when he ordered a beer.

Eddie had registered him as cute, all pouty lips and perfect hair, with brown eyes that sometimes caught the light and bled green. But Eddie hadn't thought much about him after that. He'd written him off after seeing the flower, and there had been so so many drinks to pour.

"It's your turn." Chrissy tosses a damp rag at him, washes her hands, and goes back to mixing long islands at a breakneck pace.

Eddie bangs his hip on the corner of the bar, swearing on his way to clear and wipe down sticky tables. He finds rose guy nursing the same beer he'd sold him hours ago, the flower sitting in the middle of the table.

"Oh, sorry," Eddie says. "Thought this one was empty."

"It's fine. I should probably..." The guy drains the last dregs of room temperature beer. "You know what they say. Stand me up once, shame on you. Stand me up twice... Or whatever." He gives Eddie a smile that's more of a cringe, like he wishes he could take the words back the second he says them.

"Her loss." Eddie means it. If he had a guy like that, he'd be insufferable about him.

"His. I'm bi."

"Oh." Eddie glances back at Chrissy, her eyes already searching for him. "I have to get back before they go full Helm's Deep on the bar, but I tell you what. Next one's on me. Alliance of the lonely queers and all that." Eddie gives the guy a pat on his shoulder.

He doesn't really expect the guy to stick around, but he does. He takes Eddie's generous offer in the form of the cheapest beer on the menu, and he moves from the back booth to a seat at the bar.

When Eddie fucks up making a drink because he couldn't hear the order, he slides it next to the guy's Natty Light. "Please stop forcing yourself to drink that. It's painful to watch."

"It's fine. Brings back memories." "Of what? Vomiting outside of someone's shitty house party?"

Eddie can hear him laugh even over the noise. It's the best tip he's gotten all night. (Though he does notice the $5 the guy slips into the tip jar when he thinks Eddie's too busy theatrically mixing a mojito.)

"Alright bitches!" Chrissy hops up onto the bar with all the grace of someone who has a box full of old cheerleading medals in her closet. Eddie cuts the music, and her voice carries like she's leading a pep rally. "Last call!" She points at the crowd of drunks, most of them familiar enough with the bar to play along.

"For alcohol!" they finish for her, some of them rushing up to the ordering stations even while they holler.

The call and response goes on for a solid 30 seconds or so. Mid-pour, Eddie catches the stranger's eyes and gets a smile for it that almost knocks him on his ass. Eddie shakes spilled whiskey off his fingers.

"One more time," Chrissy yells. "Last call!"

"For alcohol!"

"As always drive safe and fuck safe." Chrissy pretends to curtsy in her jeans. "Cab numbers and condoms next to the payphones. Tip your bartenders or we'll find you." She hops down off the bar and starts taking final orders as the bar starts to empty.

Even after they shut down the register, the guy doesn't leave.

"Who's the dreamboat making eyes at you?" Chrissy asks, scrubbing glasses so fast Eddie's surprised she doesn't sprain her wrist.

"He is kind of a dreamboat, huh?"

She sighs. "I'll give you five minutes to secure a date, and then I need you to help me close so I can go home and take a hot bath. God, I want to cut off my feet."

"I want to replace my lower back with Terminator parts, so I get it. Thanks Chris." Eddie grabs a bar rag and makes his way down to the end. The stranger sits up straighter on his bar stool.

"Hey." An awkward scrub of the back of his neck. "Sorry if I misread anything. I can go if you aren't..." He fiddles with the now-limp rose, thumbing gently over one of the thorns. "Like I know you're working so you might have just been being-"

"Relax," Eddie says. "You didn't misread anything, dude." Eddie smiles at him and wipes drink rings off the countertop.

"Oh." A breath of relief. "Thank God for that because you...you're..." He shakes his head.

"Because I'm what? I will fish for a compliment for hours, man. Don't test me."

"And I will ruin shit by talking too much."

"Try me."

The guy sighs. "Because you're nice. Don't get me wrong, you're hot too. With the hair and the ripped jeans. Plus I've been making bets with myself all night about how many tattoos you have. But I don't need hot. I need nice. And you're nice."

"Oh." A beat. Eddie chews on his lip. "I don't know actually. How many tattoos I have, I mean." Ugh. "Like, I do try to be nice obviously, to everyone and especially to pretty guys. But if I got five different tattoos and then I connected them all into one piece, is that still five tattoos or is it one tattoo?" Seriously, Eddie has thought about this topic so much. Too much. "So depending on how you do tattoo math, I have anywhere from seventeen to twenty-nine tattoos. What's your name?"

"Steve. I'm Steve. Harrington."

"Oh, we're doing full names?" Eddie realizes he's been wiping the same part of the bar over and over again and stops. "I'm Eddie. Munson. So..." God, it's incredible that Eddie's still nervous given the situation, and yet. "So there's a 24-hour diner two blocks from here, Steve Harrington. Meet you when we're done closing up?"

"I question you referring to a Waffle House as a '24-hour diner,' but that sounds..." Steve laughs softly and ducks his head. "Nice. It sounds nice."

Eddie returns his soft smile and watches him leave, dropping the battered rose into the trash on the way out.

He and Chrissy close the bar in record time, and he sees her onto her bus with a kiss on the cheek.

"Have fun," she says.

"Enjoy your bath."

"God, I so will."

Eddie's halfway to the Waffle House when he runs into a street vendor closing up a little booth of bouquets meant for Valentine's Day stragglers. He finds himself thinking about that sad white rose, wondering if anyone's bought Steve flowers lately. Or ever.

"I'll take those yellow daisies," Eddie says, forking over a bit of cash. He second-guesses himself three or four times before he slides into the booth across from Steve and watches his face light up.

"My favorite color," Steve tells him. "And daisies are my favorite. My great-grandma always had them in her window when I was a kid. When my parents left town, we'd play card games in her living room and eat homemade fudge."

Silently, Eddie vows to get Steve Harrington yellow daisies as long as Steve will have him around.

"Mine would always drag me to bingo," Eddie says. "I loved it."

By the time they've both finished a stack of pancakes, Eddie has Steve's number scrawled in the blank space between 2-5 tattoos. Steve has Eddie's written on a napkin along with plans for their next date.

They talk on the phone every day until Eddie meets Steve for dinner, handing him a bouquet of happy yellow daisies, accepting a handful of deep purple calla lilies in return.

It's nice.

#steddie #fanfic #mine #valentines day #alcohol #eddie munson & chrissy cunningham

[peachjaem00]

au: Happy birthday to my man, the love of my life Jae! And happy Valentine´s day lovelies <3

warnings: mentions of weed, to smoke a blunt with jae UGHHH my literal dream!

[11:50 pm] Jaehyun knew it was late. He knew that the second he'd step a foot on the door he was going to find nothing but darkness accompanied by the slight noise of the night and your sleeping figure. He knew his work ruined not only his Valentine’s Day but his birthday and the opportunity to spend it with his partner. He loved his job but it was moments like these where the idol life really took a toll on him. 

He opened the door waiting to be received by the silent apartment but your standing figure alongside a living room filled with fluffy blankets, the coffee table filled with popcorn and snacks, the tv with the beginning of one of his favorite movies on pause and a gift on your hands was the first thing that he saw. 

“What the fuck?” You smiled by seeing how surprised he actually was. 

You knew you weren’t gonna be able to go out for Valentine’s Day because of his schedule, so you planned a movie marathon where you watched all of the movies he liked, which you usually didn’t watch because you’re not the biggest fan. 

“What’s all this?” He dropped his bag on the floor and walked towards you. When he was finally in front of you his hands moved on his own, positioning themselves on your forearms since your hands were holding a big gift bag. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” You said with the biggest smile which he mirrored. “And happy birthday!” You push the bag in front of him, the excitement was very evident in your eyes. “C’mon open it!” 

Jaehyun opened the bag with such delicacy, he didn’t want to rip it so he can keep it as a little memento of this precious occasion. He gasped when he saw the content of the bag. A first edition of his favorite vinyl record, a new watch and several blunts, you must have known his stash was empty -he thanked the lord since he hated rolling them up-. 

“No fucking way!” He said with the biggest smile on his face. “This is way too much, you didn’t have to do this.” 

“Oh please, it was my pleasure.” He hugged you with such force it hurt a little bit you didn’t care. “You deserve nothing but the best Jae.” 

“That must be why I have you as a partner.” You could feel your cheeks getting warm. “I got you something too.” He said after breaking the hug. “It’s not much and it’s small but I think you’ll like it.” He took out a little box out of his bag and gave it to you. 

“Oh you didn’t have to Jae give me anything, it’s your birthday, not mine.” You admired the box. It was a deep navy blue, velvet, and a little heavy. 

“It’s valentines tho, my baby deserves something.” You blushed even though he always calls you that, you still blush. 

You opened the box and gasped at the contents of it. A beautiful pearl necklace lays inside the box with a little medal that has J+ your initial. It was so beautiful you couldn’t believe it. 

“Jaehyun, oh my god.” He grabbed the necklace and put it on you. You could feel the brush of his fingers on your skin, the goosebumps followed no long after their touch. “I love it, thank you so much.” Your voice is soft but it was filled with gratitude and love. 

“I love you baby.” And then he kissed your lips, those lips he adored so much. 

“I love you too.” 

“What about we light one of these up and start our movie marathon huh?” He already had the blunt and the lighter out, he was just waiting for you to give the green light. 

“Sounds perfect.” You smiled and laughed at his excitement.

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #yoonoh #jung yoonoh #Jaehyun fluff #yoonoh fluff #jaehyun timestamp #yonooh timestamp #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct 2023 #nct fluff #nct u fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct 2023 fluff #nct timestamp #nct u timestamp #nct 127 timestamp #nct 2023 timestamp #jaehyun au #yonooh au #nct au #nct u au #nct 127 au #nct 2023 au

[petboymart]

Hey how you doin? I'm not completely sure if the requesting box is open but if so is it possible for you to do a male show puppy reader with puppy lev that is dog model? How would lev react to reader when his owner brings reader home?

show dog puppy boy lev x puppy boy reader

employee notice : yup! gonna start clearing out the inbox bc it’s 11:44 pm, i’m on vacation in a foreign country and i’m queer, that part is unrelated

-nox <3

this product contains : mentions of readers past trauma, scheming bitch lev, reader is a liiiiiitle dumb in the beginning, slight bullying, but making up and being cute puppies. male reader!!!!!

lev was bred for perfection, genetically perfect, physically perfect. the perfect show dog. his tall figure, his long limbs, his pristine silver hair and pointed ears. though some said his eyes were catlike they were still a beautiful sparkling and unique green.

he was the perfect show dog, with many awards to prove it. medals on blue ribbons.

so why did his owner bring in… you

sure, you were handsome he could admit. your eyes did sparkle, no, they glowed. you were small though. weak. it looked like if he pushed you you would fall over. he tested his theory. it proved true.

when you fell though, you just smiled up at him. you thought it was play so you pushed against him too. he barely budged. though, his eyes lit up in interest.

you were not reserved or snooty like other show dogs, you were pure and sweet and raw. untouched by the harsh criticizing world. he was a little worried. the world would break you. why did he care though? he thought.

for the first few weeks, he ignored you. he would call you over and you would come running, just for him to slide out of the way and watch you crash into a door, feigning worry as he stood over you, just barely hiding a sneer.

his schemes got you into trouble with your owner, she would get angry and yell at you, wagging her finger. you kept your head bowed and your big floppy ears pressed to your head. he felt the tiniest semblance of pity. he also pretended not to see you when your owner would put you outside as punishment. he avoided your big innocent eyes and he didn’t know why his heart hurt thinking about how cold it was outside and how weak you were (in his eyes at least). he ignored those feelings, he tried to.

lev had thought he was unaffected by your troubles, that his schemes were not affecting his conscious.

that was until he found you that one fateful night, in the living room. you sat on the dog bed watching the window. you didn’t see him, but he heard you talking to yourself.

“it’s all going to be okay. you got out. you’re a pure bred. you just, have to be nice and not get on his nerves. if you do well he’ll teach you and you’ll never have to go back again. never ever ever.” you said, and lev tilted his head, he walked into the room.

“go back where?” he asked, and you turned around in shock, you were going to exclaim but his solemn face stopped you. he did not know where you came from, he thought you were his replacement who had shown up one day to take his place. you looked down at the puppy bed.

maybe telling him wouldn’t be bad, and you could finally get the burden off your chest. you looked up at lev with teary eyes. he was taken aback by the vulnerability in your expression. you opened and closed your mouth a few times, swallowing. your adams apple bobbed. then you began to talk.

“i was born in a puppy-person mill, a breeding center for pure breds. we weren’t well taken care of. i had eight siblings in my litter, even more from previous ones. we were separated from our mother as soon as we could eat solid food. i lived in a cramped cage with those eight siblings for twenty years. we were never taught how to go into human forms. but when we did, one by one, my siblings were taken away. one day the police came in, the establishment was, of course, illegal. it was then i was set free. it was then i found out that all my siblings had been sold off and my mother was gone and i was all that was left. nobody glanced at me because i was the runt. but i was a purebred. so they brought me to a fancy shelter and i was told that if i became a show dog i would never have to live in fear again. that’s why i’m always around you. i want to be like you so i never ever have to go back to somewhere like that mill.” you said.

lev had never been more shocked, horrified and disgusted with himself in his entire life. he didn’t say anything at first and just looked at you. for the first time he noticed your shaking figure. dark circles under your eyes and the way you sat on your tail, as if trying to tether yourself to reality. there were small scars he never paid attention to on your hands. your skin was slightly discolored. you had suffered so much and he had been an ungodly rude prick just because he was privileged and stuck up and a coward.

he didn’t say anything then but he reached out and tugged you to his chest. his big arms wrapped around you and for the first time in a while you felt safe. you felt warmth and you began to sob as lev carefully rubbed his hand up and down your back.

“it’s okay, it’s okay. you’re safe now, i’m sorry. i’ll treat you better and i promise i won’t let anyone hurt you again. i’ll keep you safe.” he whispered. and his words were the most amazing thing you had ever heard. they soothed your aching heart as you let yourself be comforted by him.

after crying for more than an hour, you were exhausted and fell asleep in lev’s lap. he carefully brought you to his big fancy bed in his room on the ground floor, and tucked you into the covers. in your sleep you whimpered, squirming and he quickly got into bed with you, bringing you into his arms. you stopped squirmed, nuzzling close to him.

lev watched your sleeping form for another hour, admiring how soft your features looked as you slept. he admired how strong you were. he pressed his nose to your forehead.

“goodnight.”

(an extra drabble bc wow that was a lot.)

“lev! leeeev! stop it!!” a squeal echoed through the living room, soon followed by giggles.

lev laughed boisterously as you shoved his face away from you, your neck wet from his snuggling and licking and kisses.

you pushed him away yet couldn’t truly escape as you still sat on his lap. you stopped shoving him and with his possessive mind in full swing he went right back to nosing at your neck. his ministrations caused your brand new leather collar to be pushed around, the golden name tag jingling.

you had got the collar as a gift from lev when you won your first blue ribbon. under levs care and teachings, you grew healthier. there was vibrant color in your cheeks and your fur was no longer matted. you became a brilliant show dog. lev had never been more proud when you one. so he bought the collar with his own money. it had your name inscribed on the tag, and his on the back.

“just in case you get lost” he had said, smiling deviously. as if he’d ever let you get lost. after that night, a slow friendship bloomed between you two as lev taught you how to be a proper show dog. that friendship turned into more and you found out a secret lev kept wonderfully hidden.

he was horribly possessive. and he did not like to share. the collar was a way of marking you as his, you both knew that and you chose to ignore it.

now, you were cuddled up to each other, snuggling and basking in each others warmth, you leaned your head back and lev pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“my charismatic show dog.”

“and my handsome asshole.” you said, and lev gasped in faux shock, whimpering tragically, “oh stop it, you totally deserve it.” you rolled your eyes.

“yes i do, does it still hurt coming from my one and only? absolutely! i’m fragile, honey!” he complained and you rolled your eyes yet again but smiled.

“im sorry then, how can i get you to forgive me?” you asked and lev grinned.

“cuddle me for the rest of the day.” he said (read: commanded) and you nodded your head.

“i was already going to but okay, fine.”

and you two cuddled for the rest of the day, enjoying the sun and then the sunset.

i don’t know how to end this thanks

petboy mart 2023

#nox !! #petboy mart !! #customer service !! #haikyuu petboys #puppyboy aisle !! #puppyboy lev !! #oh.. my god i have not written in so long #well like not pet boys #that felt actually so good #im back bitches. #hopefully i’ll get thru an ask per day #we’ll see

[holykillercake]

FRIED EGGS

KOBY x Pirate!Reader

word count: 2k

summary: Being infiltrated as a Marine and keeping your feelings under control was easy until you were assigned to work with Marine Captain Koby. How you wished he was a jerk.

highlight: ¨I am kissing you... but I am angry, Y/N-san...¨

warnings: read under the risk of developing diabetes.

notes: Hey, guys! This was a lovely request from @pure-kirarin! <3 I had to stop other projects to make this one because Koby threw me out of my comfort zone hahaha I really hope you like!! ALSO 1) Happy Birthday Sabo-kun! ALSO 2) In order to add more dept to the story, the main character is part of a Yonkos´crew, but I wrote in a way that all fit, so choose your favorite! ALSO 3) ART ALERT!

Leave comments, hearts and love!

¨You have been doing a remarkable job in such little time, Commander L/N. We all have great expectations regarding your transference to our Marine Headquarters.¨ 

The words of the Rear Admiral barely scratched your mind as you discreetly observed the pink-haired boy´s reflection on the crystal clear window. 

He maintained a similar posture to yours: chin up, chest out, shoulders back, and stomach in. However, while your fingers remained paralleled to your trousers, you took a glimpse of his clenched fist, thumb fidgeting the side of his index finger. 

¨Vice Admiral Tsuru was reluctant to sign your transfer. She said you remind her of herself in the past, which is always an excellent compliment to hear.¨ you nodded, acknowledging his words  ¨We´re glad we convinced her.¨

Your heart warmed with his words, and you almost felt bad because you knew the disappointing outcome O-Tsuru-san would have at the end of this. She trained you with the iron face of a merciless soldier, and the elegance that resembled the animal of her name.

It has been three years since you received the green card from your captain to part ways in a long-term solo mission. A journey to excavate the putrid secrets of the so-called defenders of the law. You learned after a short time that justice is not so black and white.

Not that you planned to reveal the dirt, no. That intel your captain could sell to the Revolutionary Army and keep the capital running. You were interested in the arms race, the corrupt diplomacy, and more importantly, the dark pipes where traitors flowed.

Someone from inside the Yonkos was feeding the Marines with crucial information about the Emperors´ activities. And in such a close fight, you could not take those risks.

All other Emperors must have their own undercover agents within the Marines, but even that was a dispute. You could point some names to your boss, who confirmed what was suspected. Those would usually be the best of the best, extravagant and loud.

But not you. You didn't have to make that much noise. You slid between the floors of New Marineford like a snake swimming with the current. Earning the respect of your superiors and being promoted without ringing any bells. You accepted each medal with a firm salutation and relentless performance. 

¨The trip must have been displeasing. Submerging ten thousand meters underwater and rising to these fiendish waters require a good rest. Our Marine Captain Koby will escort you to your quarters, Commander Y/N. The remaining instructions shall be presented tomorrow.¨

You saluted the Rear Admiral in front of you and turned to the exit, passing by Koby, who waited for you to leave first.  When your paths crossed, the pace of your heartbeats quickened, pumping more blood through your body and leaving a burning sensation on your cheeks. 

The involuntary response was instantly interpreted as alertness to danger, which needed to be handled with caution. 

Can´t let my guard down around this one, you thought.

In fact, you planned to keep as much distance as you could from him. An officer let slip that he has been gaining incredible control over his Observation Haki since the Paramount War. 

But the wind seemed to change direction, and you began to swim against the current. When the morning came, you were assigned to be his partner for an undetermined time, and he would act as your superior. The idea of being bossed around by a younger marine got your temper sparked. 

Only he was not like the others, treating you in a patronizing and condescending way. He spoke to you with the same cordiality and politeness he addressed everybody else. 

Slowly, your concrete cold expression began to soothe. You would still remind yourself how annoying his good manners were, though. So annoying, seriously!

¨Good morning, Y/N-san!¨ he greeted as you joined him for breakfast. 

¨Good morning, Koby.¨ 

¨Our Border Force correspondent sent his report early in the morning with information about possible Yonkos´ alliances in the Wano Country. We are arranging a meeting as soon as possible.¨ 

You didn´t like to handle work so early, but this subject, in particular, raised your spirits. ¨Good. It was about time.¨

You noticed that he wore a different headband. ¨What happened?¨ 

¨Hm?¨ he brought the soup bowl close to his mouth. 

¨The bandana. Green, with the fried eggs.¨ he choked on the miso soup, coughing like he had swallowed poison. 

You reached for a paper tissue and handed it to him. ¨K-Koby, are you ok?¨

¨Y-Y/N... Y/N-san...¨ he coughed some more ¨They´re not... fried eggs...¨

¨Oh...¨ your brows raised slightly ¨What are they?¨

A depressive aura grew around him ¨They are flowers, YN-san...¨

The edge of your lips contorted as you tried to hide a smile. You haven´t felt like smiling genuinely for years. Annoying boy!

From that moment on, ignoring him became more difficult. He started to ask you to train with him or invite you to spend some time with him and Helmeppo whenever you had free time. Eventually, he began to ask you how he looked before an important meeting. 

Most of the time, you would reply something like ¨ok¨. But sometimes, the mouth was quicker than the brain, and you would let an ¨impeccable¨ slip out, followed by an awkward throat clearing and blushed cheeks. 

From both sides.

•

¨Oh my-¨ you stopped yourself from finishing the sentence. 

You were chosen to complete this mission due to your excellent skills in hiding emotions and acting calm under stressful situations. No one could break you. 

Within the Marines, no joke could make you crack a smile, and no torture could make you spill secrets. 

Why did you want to ask if he was ok?

Koby had entered his office with bumps and bloody bruises over his face. His always neat uniform was blotchy, and he carried a first aid kit. 

¨Garp-san paid a visit.¨ He sat on the couch and opened the white box, throwing everything on the coffee table. ¨I bet it wasn't like this with Tsuru-san.¨ he chuckled. 

¨No. She would beat me up, wash me and hang me up to dry.¨ 

You shot from the chair, moving towards the clumsy pinkette, who struggled to attend to his injuries. He tried to hold the mirror with one hand and suture his gash with the other. 

¨Thank yo-¨

¨Shh. Don´t move.¨

You leaned closer to have a better look, giving Koby the same chance. Your delicate perfume smelled like it was tailor-made for you. Your breathing was slightly irregular, and your lip twitched with every given stitch. Your fingers felt like feathers on his skin, so much that he didn´t even feel a sting. 

The job was fast and efficient, making Koby wish Garp had put more effort into his Love Fist. Grabbing a piece of wet cotton, you cleaned the dried blood.  

¨Alright...¨ you whispered.

¨Alright...¨ he whispered back.

You were inches apart from his face, your eyes traveling across the scar on his forehead, the pink locks, and kind features. Your mind traced back all the way to the Paramount War. You had very little knowledge about him, but the words he spoke that day have always made your heart pound like cannonballs. 

You will make an excellent Admiral one day, Koby. 

I hope you don´t hate me. 

¨Y-Y/N-san...¨

¨Hm?¨

¨Your smile is beautiful.¨

¨What?¨ The stupid scene of yours was interrupted like a DJ stopping the record player. 

With cheeks getting pinker than his hair, you shot up and marched back to the chair and your newspaper. ¨You clean this up.¨ 

He left a low chuckle out and began gathering the mess. 

Oh, no, Y/N. You have got to be kidding me. 

He is a freaking marine. Breathe. 

There were a vast number of reasons why you couldn´t like him: from him being a Marine Captain and you being a pirate to the fact that your mission was coming to a conclusion.

Meaning that your journey as his partner would be very soon reaching its end. The meeting with this mysterious correspondent regarding the Yonkos´ operations in the New World would be the last move in this chess game. You would be going home. Mission completed. Everything perfect, right? 

Right, perfect. Impeccable! Ugh!

•

¨... confirm secure line.¨

¨This is Border Officer code 404890. Secure line confirmed.¨ you spoke with a low but clear voice through the nail transponder. 

¨What´s the status on our birdie?¨

¨Positive. The birdie is located at 03:24:01.¨ you gave your boss a coordinate to the name of the Marine informant. The answer you took three years to find out remained on file number one, third page, suspect number twenty-four. 

An amused laugh echoed on your end, and you buried the speaker on your jacket to muffled the sound. 

¨At least he is not one of ours.¨ a chuckle ¨Great job, Y/N.¨

¨Thank you, boss.¨

¨I know this mustn't have been easy, but you were impeccable as always.¨

Yeah, impeccable. 

¨You know the protocol now. We´ll see each other in a few days. You´ll have a party waiting for you, kid.¨

¨Aye, aye, boss. But I want the good booze.¨  Both of you laughed. 

You finished the call, and the smile on your lips died as the image of a pink-haired boy invaded your mind. You wished he was a jerk like everybody else. 

It would have been so easy. 

¨Who were you talking to?¨ your chest contracted, pushing the air out of your lungs and sending extra blood supply to your muscles. 

You hid the transponder into your jacket and turned, facing your Marine Captain. 

¨Eavesdropping, Koby?¨

What should I do?

¨Y/N-san, who were you talking to?¨ he repeated himself, offering the benefit of the doubt. You sighed.

¨My captain.¨ 

Why the need to be honest with him?

¨Y/N-san, please don´t tell me-¨

¨I´m sorry, Koby. I wish I didn´t have to do this.¨ you couldn´t bring yourself to face him.

¨A-Are you a pirate? Why?¨

You chuckled ¨Why am I a pirate?¨

¨Why did you do this?¨ his face was pale, making your guts twitch in guilt.

¨I´m on a mission. But I´ll leave soon.¨

¨You are like... Vergo-san.¨ he sounded disappointed.

¨I am nothing like Vergo. You know this.¨ or at least you hoped he did. 

He closed the door slowly, eyes fixed on your figure. The bright light from the window made him look like an ethereal painting.

While you tried to predict his next move, whether he was going to interrogate you or kick your ass, Koby acted calm and collected, not hesitating. He trusted his Observation Haki to guide his next move. Or maybe his heart.

You saw a pink blur closing distance like a missile, and before you could dodge, his hands pulled you by the waist, connecting your bodies and lips. 

He forced your back to meet the thick window with a gasp that was muffled by the kiss. His touch was rough upon the fabric of your uniform, but his mouth felt soft against yours.

Your hands moved to his hair, removing the round pair of glasses and the green bandana so you could get lost in his locks. His grip was harsh under the fabric of your uniform, but his hair felt soft on your fingertips. 

A moan escaped your lips when he parted the kiss with a loud snap and struck the glass with both hands, keeping you trapped in the middle. You let go of his hair and grabbed him by the collar, not letting him go away.

¨I am kissing you... but I am angry, Y/N-san...¨ his breath was heavy and carried with a myriad of emotions. 

¨I know... I am sorry.¨

¨Why?¨

¨Because I like you, Koby. A lot.¨ he paused for a second, fighting the urge to admit the same.

¨What was your mission?¨

This is the last lie, I promise, Koby. ¨The Marines possessed vital information about something my boss wants. I needed to get it.¨

¨Now that I know that you´re a pirate and that you stole Marine´s assets, I´m gonna have to hunt you down.¨

¨I´ll be waiting for you.¨ 

You stared him in the eyes, and he kissed you to stop himself from saying what he really wanted. 

I love you, Y/N-san.

Diary of Koby-Meppo: The Fried Egg Life Crisis.

💕 @vemuabhi

#koby #koby x reader #coby #coby x reader #marines #marineford #new marineford #paramount war #the warof the best #vice admiral #tsuru-san #otsuru-san #garp #monkey d garp #fleet admiral #sakazuki #akainu #rear admiral #four emperors #emperors of the sea #yonko #shanks #red hair shanks #kaido #kaido of the beasts #big mom #charlottle linlin #marshall d. teach #blackbeard #helmeppo

[hargrove-mayfields]

Everyone who knew Billy Hargrove had thought that even though he had only been in town for a short time, he wouldn’t be leaving without making his mark on Hawkins High when he graduated. He was their new top dog, their poster boy in all things social, athletic, and academic, so it only made sense he’d choose to go out with a bang.

Graduation is held outside on the football field, a first for the school because the senior class of ‘85 is made of up of too many kids to hold it in the gym like usual, which would theoretically give him the perfect opportunity to screw around and ruin the formal ceremony.

What nobody had expected though, was for him to be sitting up straight and attentive at graduation, his hair pulled up in a bun under his cap and his earring left at home, wearing a pair of dress shoes he couldn’t afford, with all kinds of pins and cords and even a valedictorians medal adorning his robes.

And nobody expected him to wait at the head of the stage as his full name, William Reuben Hargrove, was called, walking across in perfect time and doing every polite handshake, smiling at the teachers and administrators and getting his photo with his diploma in hand and a respectable smile on his face.

Because he was one of four valedictorians above two salutatorians, he wasn’t given the opportunity to read his own speech, but rather was chosen to read the graduates address. His reputation preceded him, and it was clear from the tension sparking the air that everyone, including the parents, expected him to pull something when called to the stage and given the microphone.

But he didn’t, he stood proud and read it off loud and clear, or at least recited it from memory that way, Max had to read it to him for weeks in practice because he couldn’t power through and read it, the text small and too close on the page it all jumbled together, stepping down from the stage when he was done instead adding any words of his own,

It’s like a collective sigh is let out when he sits back down, Nancy taking her turn up on the stage to read the closing remarks and turn the tassels, and just like that the ceremony passes by without a hitch.

Because even though all knew who they thought Billy was, they didn’t know about the man he had to be in front of Neil Hargrove, watching from the bleachers.

Instead, what his peers had all wanted was for Billy to walk to his own tune, slouching in his seat and picking at his nails when he wasn’t supposed to be paying attention, fumbling the fancy walk and keeping his hands stuffed in his pockets as a big F-U to the school and all it stood for, and they definitely expected him to show up in a crumpled suit and scuffed old shoes, his hair a mess under the cap, looking like his true ragamuffin self.

Only, Steve Harrington was the one to do all that.

The rumor mill would have it that Stevie boy got wasted the night before graduation and was barely powering through it on a hangover. Truth would argue however, that he had woken up that morning alone, so depressed that no one, including himself, gave a damn about the accomplishment he had fought so very hard for, that he didn’t care about doing this stupid ceremony nobody would see anyways the right way, the Harrington way.

So he didn’t show up to senior assembly or to any of practices, he didn’t earn any scholarships or awards anyways, and he felt he hardly deserved the passing grades he was most likely given by sympathetic teachers who knew him all too well from retaking failed classes for years. He didn’t really feel like there was anything to commemorate, so he showed up, but only for the piece of paper, and maybe a little bit to prove his father who said he’d never be able to do it wrong.

After the ceremony was finished, they turned the field over to families to take pictures with their graduates, and graduates to take pictures with each other. Billy got a handful taken of him and his family by the school's photographer and Susan’s camera too, and a decent couple of Polaroids with the real friends he’d actually made, Tommy and Carol and Heather.

There were no pictures taken of Steve on his big day. He’d gone straight to the auditorium and gotten his diploma for the folder they handed him on stage, then drove himself home before anybody could stop him and ask for one.

~~~~~~~~~

It happens again in June when grad party season hits.

Among the most anticipated invites was the one to Billy Hargrove’s graduation party. Everyone was sure he’d have a big house party for the seniors, he always brought the life to the party like Hawkins had never seen it, it only made sense he’d have his own.

But again, his peers are mistaken, because nobody gets an invite other than that same handful of friends, and they all get theirs, along with a tiny print of Billy's unrecognizably serious senior photos, in the mail just like the rest of the Hargroves’ extended family.

Because his party is a family affair, an open house from eleven in the morning to four in the afternoon at an outdoor pavilion in the state park, where he’s supposed to dress nice and greet every member of the family with the same practiced smile, regardless of if he even knew who they were, or if they could tell the difference between him and his cousins.

None of it felt like real family to him though, when not even his mother could be bothered to come despite the effort he went through to get her an invite, and him and Max both playing the role of perfect children so well they almost forgot the other was there.

So him and his friends just sit at a table in the corner between making his appearances with great aunts who he didn’t even know, acting like ordinary kids under the watchful eye of Neil Hargrove until it’s over and they get to pack up the green and yellow decorations bought to be recycled for Max’s party again in four years and count all the money he’d gotten in cards, which he was supposed to be saving for college.

Steve again is the one to meet those expectations they held for Billy, the fallen keg king maybe not as undeserving of the title as they had thought.

As it turns out, his parents hadn’t been paying enough attention to realize it was time already to celebrate him, and it was far too late to send out invites if he wanted to have it before it was socially unacceptable but their standards at least, too much of his family living in Italy anyways, so he just had his own party.

The sort of party where kids came for the liquor, uncaring about the host of the state of their house after they're done getting their kicks, as long as they have something to do and a chemical codependency to form.

A couple of kids do actually bring him generic cards as congratulations, without money in them of course because they knew who he was and where he live, but not that his parents were planning on cutting him off as soon as they could, but most everyone else just came to get hammered, basically celebrating their own graduation with Steve’s money.

He’s miserable. He gets just as drunk as anyone else and passes out halfway through the party, waking up to a trashed house and a few stragglers on his lawn. Definitely not the type of celebration one has for their child they’re so proud of, or even actually gives two shits about.

~~~~~~~

Another expectation shattered, was the rivalry between Billy and Steve. They were supposed to be bitter enemies, the ex king shown up and beaten by the one who’d go on to steal his spotlight, but while they were different, from their personas and from each other botg, they were very much the same, and they recognized that in each other.

After they had thanksgiving break to let the tension between them cool off, things moved quickly from making friends at a house party neither of them wanted to be at to making out in the back seats of the Camaro.

By June they’ve been going steady for a couple of months already, but even though they’re officially at boyfriends status, Billy doesn’t go to Steve’s party. It was the night before his own and he’s pretty sure Neil would’ve killed him if he had stumbled home wasted just a couple of hours before he was supposed to look nice and represent the family well. Steve told him he didn’t expect him to come to something like that anyways, knew the party scene was for the side of Billy everybody but Steve liked to see, so he doesn’t go.

Steve does end up showing at Billy’s though, not able to stay long because Billy was sure Neil would see them for what they were, even if another of the assumptions about him was that he and Heather were dating. So he just drops by with a card and his well wishes, pretending he was only there as a courtesy, being members of the same sports teams and all.

He slips the card in the box and gives Billy and Tommy a little, too cool for this, definitely ditching as soon as he can, wave, and that’s the end of it.

But what nobody knows, or could presume about them, is that Billy came back to his house that night, and they had their own little celebration, for the both of them. No parents who couldn’t be bothered or who controlled every last minor detail, no people there in the name of just family or just to have a good time.

Just Billy and Steve, the real them that nobody knew like one another did.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #ej writer #story by ej! #does this make sense? #probably not but I’ve been feeling things so take it anyways #unedited because if I read through this one more time I think I will perish

[feelinglikecleopatra]

on the job

once upon a time, @anonniemousefics slid into my ask box and requested a quickie based on #82 on this list of smutty prompts and because i have zero self control when it comes to either kaz x inej sexy times or shannon, this happened.

~

fandom: six of crows / kaz brekker x inej ghafa

word count: 3,777 ("quickie" lol)

rating: M

c/w: no warnings, only filthy, desperate, on-the-job sex.

summary: this is my response to the dialogue prompt: “we have to make this quick.”

~

inej knew this was a terrible idea.

across the room, holding a glass with a thumb of whiskey sloshing in it, kaz was in a full-throated argument with some ravkan commodore. against the dark green of the uniform he’d pilfered from saints-knew-where—distinguishing him as a colonel—a line of polished brass buttons gleamed. earlier in the evening, inej had watched in fascination as he’d slicked his hair back in a fogged-up, hotel bathroom mirror, but now, after hours spent shmoozing various ravkan military leaders, it was not nearly so put together. he looked a little dishevelled, rakish.

unfortunately, inej was finding the whole image immensely distracting. her fingers itched to feel those raven strands, to smooth his hair back from his forehead, to pull his head down to her and lick his top lip—fuck—

this was a terrible idea.

biting the inside of her cheek, inej turned to look around the room. all of ravkan middling society were here. with a good number of second army grisha milling about, the crowd was shot through with blue and red and purple. beside them, inej felt very drab, in her beige vest and dark brown overcoat. it was more-or-less what she’d wear on the ship—minus her captain’s hat. most days, these were the clothes she worked in but here, in the midst of all this colour and pomp, the outfit felt like a costume.

dripping from the spectacularly vaulted ceiling, a crystal chandelier lit the whole room. shards of light, scattered and refracted, shivered on the walls, off some noble woman’s jewelry and some captain’s medal. it all reminded inej obliquely of the ice court—a ballroom simmering in intrigue. at least in her captain’s uniform, with the small tattoo of sankta alina (the knife) under her right ear and the oil slick of her braid, the reputation of captain ghafa kept gazes wary rather than leering. indeed, there were a number of those in the room who had reason to be afraid.

the slave trade was not openly practiced in ravka but the country was considered, amongst slavers, as ripe for plunder. wracked by war, poverty, and an openly divided populace, ravkan’s were vulnerable. the suli, many of whom still lived and travelled in ravka despite their ongoing persecution, made for particularly easy prey. the country’s leadership had, as yet, done little to protect its most vulnerable residents. with the war over and a half-suli queen crowned, inej had heard talk of reform. some of that talk in this very room.

she was listening to just such talk when inej heard kaz say the codeword.

“—they’ll be licking their wounds for long enough, commodore. it’s high time we focused on our own problems. have you noticed? our people are haunted, ghosts.”

the reference was hardly subtle, half the people in this room surely knew the name of her ship was the wraith but it worked and inej was rather impressed at how seamlessly he worked it into the conversation.

at the signal, she made her way around the room and toward kaz. they were going to be the distraction before the distraction. somewhere in the bowels of the building, kaz’s latest bomb guy was rigging up enough explosives to trigger an evacuation. it wasn’t subtle but inej had learned the value of grand gestures.

plus, being here gave them an alibi.

“our people?” the commodore sneered. “you may have made it to rank in the first army but you are not one of us.”

“i have fought in defence of this nation. surely, that demonstrates some degree of commitment on my part.”

“you claim to know what’s best. well, i say you should leave such matters to those more qualified.”

“those regularly humiliated by captain ghafa, you mean?”

at the mention of her name, inej pasted on her best scowl—a well worn impersonation of the bastard himself—and snapped her head toward the conversation.

the commodore was sputtering, “i—this is outrageous! i don’t know what you’re insinuating.”

“oh, commodore, it’s common knowledge you’ve lost three ships to the pirate. it was her handy work that ran your sankta anastasia aground not five leagues from this very spot.”

though inej was perhaps the only one who could tell, kaz was bragging.

“that bitch will get what’s coming to her, you mark my words.”

kaz shrugged, “that may be so but until then she continues to wreak havoc on our navy, our merchants. trade has dwindled in recent months and our people are starving. what, commodore, are you going to do about it except wait for her to simply stop being a problem?”

at this angle, kaz was the one facing her. the commodore, standing with his back to her, had no idea she was so close. everyone around him, however, was beginning to avert their gaze or cringe openly, predicting the carnage to come.

inej was, of course, here at the express invitation of their hosts and travelled through ravka under a kind of diplomatic immunity. unfortunately, the commodore was not alone in his disdain. tonight, this would no doubt work in her favour.

“plans have been set in motion, colonel meijer.”

the quirk of kaz’s brow told her he’d noted the change in the commodore’s tone too.

moving into his line of sight, inej asked, “and what plans are those, may i ask?” she kept her tone light, smiling slightly. “i find myself rather hoping you’re discussing treason.”

a small crowd was gathering, determined to catch a glimpse of whatever action was about to unfold.

“i’m sure you are, captain.” when he turned to face her, inej saw the commodore had cold, blue eyes. they had the look of fjerda about them, something he’d almost certainly hate to have pointed out. “you’d know all about that.”

“now, commodore, let’s not aggravate the rabble. no need to cause a scene.” kaz’s eyes positively shone as he said this, placing only the slightest emphasis on rabble.

“i don’t think we’ve had the pleasure,” inej said, cocking her head at him in return.

“colonel meijer.” kaz proffered his hand with a smile that was all dirtyhands.

“the rabble is simply curious, colonel. mostly, about what you and the rest of ravka’s military leadership hope to accomplish by driving suli off the land they inhabit? driving them time and again into the hands of slavers.”

“we know this is a personal issue for you, ghafa, but here in a civilised country we do not tolerate lazy, hangers-on who contribute nothing to the good of the nation.”

the commodore was smiling now, in his element. inej wanted very much to slice that look off his face, the cold steel of sankt petyr was a biting temptation.

“oh, i’m sorry, petrov.” inej leaned into his space as she dropped his rank. gesturing expansively to the room spread behind them, she said, “please, point me in the direction of all those hard working ravkan’s benefiting so greatly from this nation’s generous spirit.”

the smile slid off his face, which was hardly as satisfying as violence would have been. inej sated herself on the way a flush stole up his neck, giving his complexion a sickly, bruised stain.

“captain, there are many great men and women in this room,” kaz answered on the commodore’s behalf. “traders, merchants, and, of course, us fine military folk.”

“you can’t be serious?” inej scoffed, amping up her scepticism.

“perfectly.” just at that moment, inej heard a woman behind her gasp. “the business of running a country is, i’m afraid, hardly as prone to spectacle as your line of work. we must make do with small, day-to-day acts of bureaucratic service.”

“i’m not sure i’d call mass evictions ‘small acts of bureaucratic service’.”

that was a dangerous thing to say. it was not, of course, what kaz meant (not that he meant anything of what he was saying) and now she was starting to hurt, ache in old, sensitive places.

suddenly keen again, the commodore took up the thread. “suli live in caravans, as you well know. you people are nomadic by nature, a little eviction is hardly the end of the world.”

although inej had expected this from him, she felt her blood boil. “you ignorant, cruel little man.”

the commodore raised both hands in a gesture of mock surrender. “no need to make this personal.”

“oh, it was all along. as you pointed out, petrov, this is personal for me.”

“and,” kaz spoke up. “i’m sure the commodore considers the welfare of ravkan’s a personal issue too.”

inej almost smiled at him as a knee-buckling kind of relief washed through her. this was a game. they were playing a game.

“of course! all those hard-working men and women, toiling for their country. you consider yourself of-the-people, petrov?”

“well, now you’re just putting him on the spot, captain. everyone knows the commodore comes from wealth. the health of the nation is personal in an… allegorical, poetic way.”

“hmm, yes, poetry seems a natural fit for the commodore.”

referring to him by rank felt good, impersonal.

“heroic? prone to adventures of epic proportion?”

“flowery, obtuse, and mostly incomprehensible.”

the commodore was spluttering again but kaz was very nearly smiling at her and inej couldn’t look away for all the money and justice in the world.

a tall gentleman pretending not to eavesdrop coughed into his hand and the commodore exclaimed, “i will not stand for this.” he was still red in the face.

“for what, commodore? the colonel and i were discussing poetry.”

“i’m sure the captain means nothing by it, sir.”

replacing his now empty whiskey, kaz reached for a pair of glasses balanced on a nearby server’s upturned palm. with a movement so subtle inej would have missed it if she hadn’t known to look, he slipped a miniscule pill into one of them and then proceeded to hand it to the commodore. with a gentle pat on the back, kaz bade him to take a drink.

“are you?” now, inej was smiling at kaz—couldn’t help smiling at him.

“we wouldn’t want to ruin the evening, would we.”

transfixed, inej watched kaz lick his bottom lip and bite on it. the man was an outrageous flirt and she felt suddenly too hot in her uniform. they were in dangerous territory.

“of course not.”

it was clear the commodore felt he was losing his grip on the conversation when he interjected, in a hoarse half-shout, “you know nothing of the sacrifices i’ve made for this country.”

“i’m sure i don’t. but have you ever considered the limits you have set yourself, or rather, the limits that have been set for you, in confining your moral universe to this nation’s borders? have you ever considered the role you have to play in the health and welfare of those beyond ravka?”

naturally, he had no answer to that. kaz, on the other hand…

“captain, if you think you can convince a military man to abandon his nationalism, you’re unlikely to find satisfaction.”

“if i wanted satisfaction i would not go looking for it with the commodore.”

it was out of her mouth before she could think better of it. inej heard kaz’s little intake of breath and watched his eyes darken.

meanwhile, the commodore’s face had been growing gradually redder and his breathing was a ragged, pained wheeze. clutching at his chest, the man suddenly keeled over.

a murmur went through the crowd as people pushed forward to see what had happened. distantly, inej heard a female voice shout, “someone help! the commodore has taken ill.”

the look in kaz’s eye hadn’t faded and when he jutted his chin slightly toward the back of the room, inej slipped from the crowd without a backward glance.

her pulse was a hot, steady beat under her skin, making her feel jittery and molten all at once.

they were on a job. people were relying on them to be in the right place, at the right time. still, inej heard kaz’s uneven gait echoing off the polished marble floors as she made her way through richly adorned corridors and pictured him catching up to her, wrapping an arm around her, burying his face in her neck, sucking a bruise into her skin.

the room where the plans were being kept was on the second floor, between them and the garden exit. all they needed to do was make it to the servants stairs at the end of the corridor, down one flight. they’d be in and out of the room before anyone knew they were missing.

instead, inej ducked behind a curtain hiding a recessed alcove on her right. there was a small altar at the back, with a flickering candle burning beneath an icon of sankt ilya.

leaning against the wall, she caught her breath and waited. the sound of kaz’s steps stopped abruptly and inej had the distinct impression of him checking the corridor for followers. then, he was inside too.

for several breaths, they watched each other. kaz’s eyes were black in the low light of the candle, bottomless and pitch black.

“you. are playing a very dangerous game, captain ghafa.” his voice was all gravel.

inej couldn’t think past the fuzzy, hot sensation in her chest. captain ghafa. oh, how she wanted.

“well,” she shrugged, not feeling in the least bit as nonchalant as the gestured implied. “it’s no fun otherwise.”

kaz stepped closer and inej craned her neck to meet his gaze. he looked hungry, features sharp and focused in a way they only got when he was… well, like this. his mouth was slightly parted and the sight of his wet bottom lip was making it hard to think.

the silence, the distance between them was unbearable.

“what time is it?” she asked, breathless.

tugging his watch from an inside jacket pocket—wait, when had he opened his jacket?—kaz said, “eight minutes past the hour.”

just over twenty minutes until they needed to be outside with the others.

inej closed the distance and threaded her hands in his hair like she’d been wanting to, pulling him down to kiss. his mouth was hot and wet and desperate against hers. into the scant space between them, inej said, “we have to make this quick.”

kaz let out a low groan and slid his hands around her waist, up to cup her breast, down to knead her ass. pushing her back against the wall, he nibbled on her bottom lip and licked into her mouth. the wet sounds of their mouths, their panting breaths filled the alcove, filled the world.

when he tugged her shirt out of her pants and flattened his palm against her stomach, inej let out a breathy little gasp. the bastard chuckled and slipped his hand down, cupping her over her underwear. quite unable to stop herself, inej ground down into him, whimpering at the friction.

this was happening. fuck.

as she scrambled to undo his belt, kaz kissed his way down her neck. the top buttons of her shirt gave way under his talented fingers and soon his mouth was sucking at the tops of her breasts, where the binding pushed them up. his hot breath raised goosebumps on her skin, pebbling her nipples.

his pants came undone and, after only a little fumbling, inej had her hand on him. kaz groaned into the crook of her neck, grinding into her, hot and hard.

“fuck, inej. need to be inside you.”

pulling on his hair to bring his head up, inej licked the shell of his ear and whispered, “soon. help me get these down.”

never before had inej wished she was wearing a skirt. when they got her pants to her knees, kaz palming her thighs and ass on the way, inej turned her back on him and pushed out her hips.

she turned over her shoulder and found him transfixed. one hand braced on the wall beside her head, he smoothed the other over the curve of her ass. though she watched him do it, the feeling of his fingers sliding through the soaking centre of her caught her by surprise.

“kaz.” his gaze snapped up to meet hers as he sank two fingers into her. no build up, no prep. the stretch was delicious. “oh—fuck!”

“saints, inej. you’re so wet.”

he gave her two, three pumps, pressing up against all her scary, sensitive places before withdrawing. inej watched him stroke his cock with her slick and whimpered.

then, he was there.

his breath was hot at her ear as he dug his hips forward. wet as she was it was still a stretch. whining slightly, she tilted her hips up to make room. all sensation narrowed to the feeling of his cock pushing against her clenching core. it was too much. she wasn’t ready but, oh, how she wanted it, wanted him.

“kaz,” she said again.

grunting, he gripped her hip and fucked into her. that was it, right there. he slid home and inej moaned into the back of her hand. the way he moved in her, filled her, took her breath away. it was so good.

the hand that had been wrapped around her hip, moved to flatten against her belly, pulling her up and back against him. he slipped impossibly deeper and inej saw stars. at this angle, with her legs restricted by her pants shoved roughly to her knees, she felt tighter than usual.

she was so close already. something about the heat of the moment, the danger of getting caught was setting her nerves on fire. the steady push and drag of him stroked her closer and closer to sweet oblivion.

“fuck—inej, i’m not going to last.”

“it’s okay,” she said. “it’s okay. me too, i’m close too.”

“want you to come with me.” his voice was almost soft, all breath. “can you do that? can you come for me?”

“oh—“ just as inej went to take one hand off the wall, a low, hollow boom echoed through the building.

the distraction.

in the wake of that sound, a very slight tremor rippled down the corridor. on the altar table, the nigh-extinguished candle shuddered.

inej couldn’t help it, she laughed, and immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.

“fuck,” kaz said again. “that was our cue.”

behind her, he shifted slightly and it woke the both of them up to their predicament. inej reach back and fisted a hand in his hair, pulling him down to her. the angle was awkward but she kissed him as best she could.

“so fuck me, brekker.”

and he did. with all the zeal and determination dirtyhands could be expected to bring to task such as this. with him holding her with one hand and bracing himself against the wall with the other, inej had to be the one to give herself a hand. she was so wound up, the harsh, grinding pressure of him so much, she almost couldn’t feel the extra attention. but with some adjusting she found a rhythm, a little syncopation that sent pleasure zipping down to her toes. that all too familiar tightening sensation, the slick coil of heat just behind her navel, was winding up, ready to release.

they were a panting, writhing, desperate mess and if anyone ever found out about this they would both be in the stocks for years to come. jesper would never let them hear the end of it.

when kaz’s rhythm faltered, the steady push and pull of him devolving into a half-frantic chase, inej whispered filthy encouragement over her shoulder.

“saints, kaz—yes, yes, yes… couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night, just needed you, needed this. oh—fuck...” the last was a low moan as she finally came to and over the edge. pulled tight around him she dragged kaz with her.

it took some doing not to just crumple to the floor in a heap. which would have been particularly cruel since he was still grinding into her, chasing the last, impossible moments of his release.

everything was beyond-wet, almost dripping down her thighs, and the thought of doing the rest of this job like this made her feel impossibly filthy, filthy in a way she hadn’t thought she’d ever like to feel filthy again.

before she could worry about it too much, kaz was slowly withdrawing from her, followed shortly by a hot trickle down the inside of her leg. inej squirmed at the sensation and he put his hand on her side, saying, “hold still.”

“can’t believe i’m going to rob these people with your cum falling out of me.”

the aborted, choked laugh kaz made was a hot wash of breath against the back of her neck and then, he was gently cleaning her up with a silk handkerchief he’d produced out of nowhere.

“oh—” inej turned when he finished and sighed at the look of him: buttons undone, hair in disarray, lips wet and kiss-swollen. “how resourceful you are!”

kaz grinned and did a mocking half-bow. “pleased to be of service.”

“hmm, of service, indeed.”

they shared a kiss. too heated, all tongues and hands, for what they’d just done but inej could still feel the adrenaline of it all making her skin tight.

they pulled apart, kaz pushed a hand through his hair, straightened his clothes and suddenly, was all business again. the transformation was astonishing and a little funny. a lot funny, really. inej suppressed the giddy-bordering-on-hysterical laugh that was threatening to bubble out of her, she didn’t think kaz would appreciate that very much.

consulting his watch again, he said, “we now have five—at most, seven—minutes to get down to that office, find the plans, and get out through the garden.”

“we’ve worked under worse conditions.” inej was already in the corridor, brushing some flyaways back and straightening the lapels of her coat. “and at least now we know your new bomb guys got impeccable timing.”

“almost too impeccable.”

“it sounds like you miss wylan.”

kaz threw her a look of disdain as they made their way toward the servant’s stairs. “you hear what you want to hear.”

“uh-huh, sure i do.”

the stairs were blessedly empty and when inej peaked her head around the door to the second floor she found it equally so. the sounds of hurried steps and harried voices carried through windows and from other parts of the building but their current location was quiet. it seemed the distraction had done its job.

when a few minutes later, they joined the milling crowds of panicked ravkans, stolen plans tucked into her inside jacket pocket, inej thought, maybe this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

~

a/n: this was supposed to be a quickie but i am, apparently, incapable of getting these two to the nookie w/o first having them sniping at each other for >1,000 words.

#kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows #soc fic #fluff and smut #citrusy #citrusy af #this is spicy #can kaz brekker speak ravkan? #this is just some smutty fun #don't take it too seriously #imma tag as #not canon compliant #to be safe #my writing #beloved mutuals #anonniemouse the crotch kicking sugar baby #re: banner gif #he's my go to #cillian murphy's tommy shelby is my favourite kaz brekker analogue

[pleasantanathema]

Graves into Gardens | Reiner Braun x Reader | Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Revelations 

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ Only)

Warnings: Modern AU, spoilers up to season four, slight manga spoilers (only by including characters met later), captivity, mentions of death, violence enemies to lovers, angst, and eventual smut (ohohoho we’re so hot on it now, just wait until the end of this one)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: Thank you so, so much to everyone who has left comments, screamed in reblog tags, and just encouraged me to create this story. I have never felt so much love for a fic in the time I’ve been writing.

This chapter reveals a lot, and it’s a little longer than the rest, but it’s for good reason- the end of this is one of my favorite things I’ve written.

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

        Reiner’s apartment truly wasn’t much. You thought he’d been joking, perhaps was even being humble, but the small studio apartment was quite dismal. The walls were stark white, a few faded posters peeling off the wall from neglect, a couple of medals and trophies lining a small bookshelf that was bursting with paperbacks and notebooks. A simple bed with a royal blue comforter and overstuffed pillows, the most compact L-shaped couch in front of a tv, and a corner dominated by a desk with two monitors and stacks of documents, manila envelopes, and crates of papers crammed below.

        A kitchenet that looked hardly used was tucked away in another corner, the entryway to a small bathroom right near it.

        There was truly nothing worth looking twice at, save a handful of framed photos scattered around. 

        You’d taken it all in rather hurriedly, still out of breath from practically running through snowy alleyways, the developing snowstorm covering the land like fresh linen. There was a window near his bed, which you gravitated toward after kicking off your damp boots by the door. Not much a view, either. Just more desolate, brick buildings and a sorry looking street below.

        He told you once that he didn’t grow up with much, and it unfortunately seemed like despite joining the ranks of the military, he was still left with close to nothing.

        “What are we here for?”

        He was busy toiling with the thermostat, thick fingers mashing against the heat button to try to warm the small box of an apartment.

        “You won’t like it,” he grumbled, golden eyes glancing over to you with a tinge of regret painting his brow.

        “Then why bring me?”

        “Because you need to see it.”

        You tucked your hands under your arms, the chill of the winter’s day finally settling into your bones.

        You watched keenly as he shrugged off his snow laden jacket, hanging it by the door before promptly locking it. He seemed as out of breath as you were, nose red from the cold, hands shaking as he fumbled with his phone. You bit the inside of your cheek with impatience, a small flame of ire licking its way into your chest.

        Bringing you out here could get you killed. He knew that, right? Of course he did, but he did it anyways. Surely this matter of seemingly great importance could’ve been fetched by one of his comrades. You hadn’t quite considered the danger leaving the headquarters could bring upon you until you were dashing through the streets, the heavy paw of Reiner’s hand squeezing around your wrist. At one point in time, he’d shoved you back down another corridor, shielding you with the size of his body as particular caravan of cars turned down the roadway. He seemed to fear any pair of government eyes spying you.

        He always was so careless.

        He was busy texting someone, still standing idle, lip worried between his teeth.

        Must be the girl you ran into that’s giving him a headache. He probably thought he could slip out and back again without a soul noticing, without anyone giving him grievance, but that bright eyed little cousin of his had ruined that. She’d been so excited to see him; he probably hadn’t been to see his family quite a while, seeing that he was on guard duty after his last mission. 

        How many days had it been since you’d been here? You’d honestly lost track of time, your world feeling like it had been caught in a slow turn of molasses. A few seconds could feel like hours, days felt like minutes, every heartbeat felt like it could be your last. You tried to add it all up in your head, eyes closing as you replayed all the events that led to you standing in Reiner Braun’s home in Marley.

        A week and a half, you surmised. But it could be a little more, a little less. You think you would have kept your eyes on the sun a little more acutely, seeing that you’d missed it rise and fall for at least two days when you were bound in that cell.

        “Are you alright?”

        For a moment, you thought you had spoken the words. You were thinking them, but he asked you instead.

        “That’s a loaded question,” you looked back down to the street, catching the sight of a line of what appeared to be school children marching in tandem down the sidewalk, snow in their hair and happiness on their faces, “but for the moment, I’m okay.”

        Reiner pulled his lips to the side, considering your words. Maybe it hadn’t dawned on him that you couldn’t have been in any state of ease since you’d been promptly abducted and plopped down in this new world to navigate.

        “Are you alright?” You encored, observing how his worried thumbs were still fast against the screen.

        “Have I ever been?”

        You made at face at that reply, corners of your mouth turning down while your shoulders shrugged. Fair enough. 

        Though, for the first time, a bit of pity crept into your mind. Reiner didn’t really ask for this life, did he? He was doing whatever he could to get by, fallen rather inelegantly into the position of being sent to Paradis, and was now being handed you to watch over, presumably without his full consent. You were both pawns in this world, kings and rooks dominating the board and playing you both for fools.

        Being a Scout hadn’t been your intention, either. You’d once had other dreams: college, a career, a family, but you’d been grandfathered into the role by your government working parents, and cemented into it when they’d died. You had nothing else to do, so you served. You served your country, your friends, but you also served yourself, using the role to keep your life afloat, even if it sometimes meant spilling the lifeblood of others, even if it meant sacrificing aspirations and settling. Though, you would admit that some rather beautiful things managed to bloom from the barren soil. Regrettably, those had all been left behind, washed away by tides you couldn’t control.

        “I’m sorry,” Reiner grunted, sinking into the cushions of the couch, “she—she already opened her mouth. I’ve gotten Annie to settle things at HQ, but I imagine Chief is still furious.”

        “Is it such a bad thing to take me out here? I mean, you could easily stop me if I tried to run away.” 

        “Could I?”

        You debated his question. While you were quite nimble, you’d be like a rat in a maze trying to find a way out of this god forsaken place.

        “If I let you,” you reasoned, a tinge of humor behind your words.

        He smiled, all warm and soft, full lips parting. The realization that you hadn’t seen him smile in years pummeled into your chest like a heavy hand stealing from your lungs. It made the sorrow that much more palpable.

        “For the record, Zeke is more upset I didn’t ask permission. He’s hellbent on his authority.”

        “So I’ve noticed.”

        You also pinpointed something else of note, a picture glinting on his nightstand catching your attention.

        It resembled the same one you’d seen on Zeke’s desk, only now you could make out the faces. Reiner didn’t pay you any mind as you reached for the framed memory, plucking it from its home, dust from the back of it staining your fingers. 

        A red booth housed five familiar faces, all grinning over half-drank pints of beer. Their arms were interlocked around each other’s shoulders, all the men young and handsome, Reiner and Bertholdt even more youthful than when they’d first walked through the doors of the Scout Office. Then there was Zeke seated next to Porco, the latter in that green jacket you’d seen him in earlier. But your eyes were set on a face you’d never thought you’d see again, a face that possessed the very recesses of your mind, only appearing late at night when you’d see it in corners, catch it lingering behind your eyelids. He was attractive, appeared personable, messy dark hair and distinct brow that matched the boy next to him.

        “Reiner…” you whispered, still unmoving from your spot between the bed and the window pane, “who is this?”

        He peered over his shoulder, any hint of a smile now vanished like etchings being erased from a page.

        “You don’t recognize him?”

        Him, a photo full of faces, and he knew who you were asking about. He’d probably stared too long at the ghost himself. You wondered if he ever placed the frame down at night to sleep better; you would have, if you’d killed someone you cared about.

        “You know I do.”

        Reiner held his hand out, long arm stretched across the back of the couch. You finally talked your feet into moving, shuffling across the hardwood as you placed the offending item into his upturned palm. 

        Then, you sat next to him, your knees bumping together as you tried to analyze the emotions stirring within. You couldn’t quite place any of them—Regret? Fear? Curiosity? Sadness? But they were quelled when Reiner placed his hand on your twitching thigh, pressing that anxiousness away for a moment.

        “Marcel Galliard, Porco’s older brother.”

        Your lips parted, both of your attentions centered on the souvenir held between you.

        “It was his birthday, and we hadn’t had the chance to celebrate mine and Zeke’s yet either, so we all went out for drinks. I unfortunately don’t remember much from that night, but I remember being…happy, content.”

        “Why’d you do it?” you asked it a little quickly, “why would you…save me, not him?”

        “I told you, some things I don’t have a choice about.”

        “But you—you could’ve said he killed me and got away, right? You did have a choice.”

        You saw how his jaw clenched, muscles in his cheek flexing.

        “I don’t know.” Agony lined his voice, the words soft, hushed.

        That situation was something you both thought about far too often than you’d like to admit, a late-night mulling that never led to conversation.

        “I’m sorry.” You took the photo away, placed it face down on the coffee table.

        “Don’t be. We can’t change the past,” he said solemnly. 

        You could, however, lament it. Which is something you did perhaps too often.

━━━─── • ───━━━

         Reiner wasn’t ready for what was to come. He knew he never would be, which is why he threw precaution to the wind and decided to lay his cards on the table now. 

         He had to pick a side. Even if these wars didn’t truly concern him, even if the fate of countries ultimately didn’t matter to his conscious, you did—you mattered, he mattered, and he had to start thinking about things on a smaller scale. 

         He wanted to go back to Paradis. He practically yearned to go back in time, to return to a place where being Eldian didn’t matter, where his status didn’t matter, where he could remake himself into something new. If it hadn’t been for his binds connecting him to Marley, he could’ve actually seen hope instead of sorrow on the horizon. He could never seem to cut the vines, could never actually get away from the people controlling his life. 

         But now, now he saw an out, and it was with you. When this cataclysm first happened, all he wanted was for you to be dead, for you to go away and leave him and his miseries alone to rot and wither. Being with you, however, reminded him of a life he could have. He just had to make it happen, he had to start molding his own clay, had to keep bearing the weight of the world like the weary Atlas until he could find a way to make it turn in his favor.

         He was tired of wishing for death.

         Which is why he had to bring you here and why he would handle the consequences that were waiting in the distance. 

         You might not be very helpful to Marley, but he could be of use to Paradis.

         “I believe you,” he hadn’t noticed he was still touching you, fingers gripping onto your leg like a lifeline, “about Zeke. I believe you because I—we, Pieck, Annie, Bertie—we know he’s up to something beyond what he tells us and the generals. He is working with someone in Paradis. We don’t know who, but we do think we know what for.”

         “Oh my god…oh my god. Why didn’t you—”

         “You think I can just fucking say that when anyone could be outside my door listening?” 

         “I thought you said I wouldn’t like what you have to show me.” 

         He noticed how your shoulders relaxed, like you’d been holding in tension for far too long.

         “That’s not…I have something else for you.”

         He didn’t move just yet, not quite ready to actually set this all in motion.

         This all hinged on you. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew you quite well; of course, that was the you of four years ago. The you he had next to him now was older, scarred, burdened, but he still felt that same magnetic pull to you that he could never explain. He was just a moon consigned to orbit you, to be connected to you even when neither of you desired the attachment.

         He knew you were going to be upset, livid; his skin was already prickled at the thought of how you would possibly punch him if when you read what he had to give.

         At least you always looked pretty when you were angry.

         He could still remember how Jean had cowered undeath his desk when you’d stomped into the office after discovering he’d used the branch’s own money to play in a high-stakes poker game while undercover. He’d been fishing for information on the elites, found himself tipsy, and then found himself on the receiving end of your fury. The only thing that stopped your yelling was Erwin, who, for personal reasons, didn’t want any fuss made over government money being gambled away.

         Erwin. He’d never cared for how close you were to him.

         Reiner finally stood, expecting you to sit and wait, but you were following him like a shadow, small hand wrapped around his forearm as he moved to his computer. When he sat down, that hand moved up to his shoulder, your fingers squeezing into his muscle with encouragement. It didn’t really put him at ease.

         He turned the desktop on, the monitor flashing to life. He typed in his password quickly, then went searching for that folder he’d kept hidden away so he’d never bother to look at it again. 

         “Hand me one of those,” he nodded his head in the direction of a small container of flash drives on the other side of his desk. You plucked one out of its resting spot and went ahead and placed it into the port on the computer. He knew you wouldn’t question why had so many on hand—you both knew how it all worked, you both kept important documents that had to be shuffled around digitally.

         Familiar names lined the inside of the folder, ones he’d once tried to forget. He heard you suck in a quick breath and took a moment to look up at you. Your brow was set, tongue obviously caught between your teeth to keep yourself from saying anything. 

         This was his job. He was in charge of keeping tabs on The Scouts, he was the one who fed Marley all the information they could. Well, almost all of it. 

         “These are files I never gave over. They’re yours now. I never gave Marley everything they wanted I…I thought I was protecting you. There’s also a few files on Zeke that Pieck created in here, too.” 

         You both watched as he copied the folder over to the flash drive, one by one the names and dates slowly dropping into a new safe place for them.

         He touched your waist, signaling you to step back. He rolled his chair out, ducking under the desk for a split moment to gather a box of the printed documents he had actually handed over; the action was a mistake. 

         You were leaned over him in an instant, hand clutching and moving the mouse so quickly it scraped against the desk. He attempted to reach up and stop you, but he paused—there were still bruises on your wrist, on your fingers, faded watercolors of surviving pain. He’d gripped your hand, your wrists, all day, why hadn’t you stopped him?

         He already knew which file you opened; he didn’t need to look. But he did anyways, moving the crate to the side and sitting back in his chair, arms crossed across his chest. His poor heart felt like it was going to burst.

         Marco Bott’s face filled part of the screen, all sweet and freckled like he remembered. Those kind eyes were looking straight at him, judging him. Reiner was just waiting, he knew what was said in there, he wrote it all, still recalled how puffy his eyes were when he did it, how much he regretted it.

         There was a pregnant pause, one so heavy he felt like he was being crushed.

         This all hinged on you. He needed you to help him, needed you to help you.

         “I fucking knew it.”

         He was already flinching, shrinking. He watched the screen scroll, the black letters and white spaces all a blur.

         “Threat eliminated by gunfire, killed by organized crime members after…” you hesitated, eyes dancing as you reread the words, “after his gear was removed to ensure death.”

         He was on his feet before you could hit him, backing away from your clenched fists, chair rolling to be forgotten in the corner.

         “What. Did. You. Do?” 

         Each word came with a step toward him. He was running out of space, nearly tripping over the edge of the couch as you encroached upon him.

         “What did you do?” Your voice was getting louder, pain written across your face like he’d just stabbed you. “You told me there was no fucking truth about Marco!”

         “There isn’t! Marco’s dead, there’s no changing—”

         “There’s no changing the past,” you mocked his words, venom dripping from your tongue.

━━━─── • ───━━━

         Your blood was boiling, wrath itching between your fingers. 

         You were going to kill him. You were going to wind your fists around his neck and watch the life drain slowly from his eyes like he fucking deserved.

         You couldn’t believe you’d let you guard down, that you’d started to trust him. You always knew something had gone awry the night Marco died. He’d been slaughtered, ransacked with bullet holes across his body. It was like he had been dropped into the line of fire, dangled out like a piece of meat to be eaten alive.

         And he didn’t have his gear, that’s what stumped everyone looking into the mess of it all. It was like he had walked in unprepared, like a boy on a suicide mission walking straight to his death. Thirty-six bullets and even more empty, splattered holes littered had riddled his corpse. Jean had fallen to his knees. Connie didn’t speak for a week. Sasha didn’t eat for days.

         Because of Reiner’s decision, that man suffered, you all mourned, and you felt like you most of all had let him down. Marco had been your protégé, you’d taught him everything he knew, and that was the first mission he was allowed to go on after his training. You’d been tailing a rather violent gang, found their hideout, and were infiltrating for arrests and to see what was inside. Marco had been paired with Reiner and Bertholdt to lead the first wave of infiltration, while you and the rest waited for the signal to rush the back doors to the run-down ranch not far out of the city of Trost. They’d been up ahead by the barn that was sandwiched between stables.

         But your signal turned to sounds of gunfire. You could still hear it echoing in your ears as you approached Reiner. The sounds of metal clicking, of repeated blasts from automatic weapons ringing across the hillsides like single note windchimes in a raging storm.

         “Tell me why.”

         Your fingers were digging into his shirt before you could stop yourself, the threads of the worn Henley threatening to rip from your nails sinking into it. You could actually feel his heart beat against his chest, a frightened bird trying to flee his ribcage.

         When he didn’t speak right away, your anger flared, made you shove him back against the wall with all your might. It made your arms hurt, like you’d just slammed your hands against brick, a sharp pain that made you hiss.

         “He overheard us—”

         “Overheard what?”

         You could tell he was getting a little infuriated as well, nostrils flaring as he looked down his nose at you. It must look funny, you pressing him against the wall of his own apartment. Reiner was nearly twice your size—he was bigger than most people, and he towered over you like a looming threat.

         “Let me fucking finish,” he took a deep breath, eyes nearly glazing over, “He overheard Bertie and I talking about how we should relay the details of that gang, of organized crime in general, to Marley. We—we hadn’t had time to talk alone since we’d been prepping that shit for days. We didn’t know Marco followed us around to that side of the rooftop.”

         “That’s it? He heard you whispering little secrets and you killed him for it?”

         One of the buttons near the neckline of his shirt popped as your knuckles dug deeper into the fabric.

         “He literally heard us say that we needed to find a time to call General Magath of Marley. If he lived and told someone that—,” his breath caught for a moment when one of your nails started to pierce his skin, “it would have compromised our entire mission. We’d been there for three years, and he could’ve ruined it all.”

         You were at your breaking point. You could feel that terrible heat that comes with sadness creeping up your neck, snaking around to your cheeks. If you weren’t careful, you were going to cry. All this time, all this time spent wondering why, and this was why he had to die?

         Killing wasn’t unusual in your life. It was part of the job, something you’d unfortunately had to do on a few occasions. You knew those strangers who ate your bullets or your knife had families, that they were people too, but most of them were monsters, thieves, rapists, threats to the corrupted balance of the governmental structure. But Marco…he was like family, and finding his limp, almost unrecognizable body had sent even the most hardened veterans into despair. Levi took off from work the next day; the only time he had ever missed a day on the job.

         “Tell me how!” You truly didn’t mean to scream it, but the emotions raging in your stomach, your chest, it all ached too much. 

         “Be quiet, I have neighbors—”

         “I don’t give a fuck about your god damn neighbors, Reiner!”

         He finally moved then, his once idle hand now jerking up to your face to fiercely hold your cheeks beneath his fingers. You tried to smack his hand away, your own fingers digging and tugging at his wrist.

         “Letme-go!” Your words were jumbled, your open mouth allowing his fingers to press your cheeks in between your teeth.

         “You have to be fucking quiet,” he hissed, a whole new light shining in his eyes, a familiar rage you had seen when you’d fought against him the day Paradis was invaded. The reality of how large he was sunk in again; he looked like a vengeful god peering down at you, all hot-blooded and incensed.

         You thought for a moment he wouldn’t hurt you, but then you remembered he already had. He had the inclination to be just as cruel as you could be.

         His fingers stayed firm against your cheeks, holding you like he was daring you to speak again. 

         “Tellmehow,” you managed to spit out, wincing when he took the leverage he had on your face and used it to shove you back. You stumbled, banging into the side of the couch as you rubbed at the sore flesh of your mouth.

         But he was unmoving, back straight against the wall, a statue built on the foundation of wrath and agony, waiting to crack and fall onto you if you made the wrong move.

         “We knew their guards were patrolling. Bertholdt covered his mouth while I stripped him of his equipment, of his guns, and I pushed him off the roof and into their sight.”

         He said it so calmly that it made you sick. But that was a reality he had to live with every day, wasn’t it? He had to replay in his mind over and over again that he had done such a vile thing, he had to justify it else it would eat him alive.

         Your tears were hot, but contained, your lashes blinking them aside as you just stared at him. You opened your mouth to scream at him, you were so ready to spew hatred and let it burn him, but he was quicker than you. 

         With one step, he was on you, your hair wrapped in his fast as he wrenched your head to the side, smarting your scalp to silence you.

         “Marco’s dead, and I’m sorry for it. You fucking screaming will do nothing but have the assholes who live below me calling the authorities and you’ll find yourself in a much worse prison than before.”

         You didn’t like how he was right. Still, you glared up at him, brows pinched together in pain.

         It felt like you’d merged into him, those rapid hearts within your chests suddenly beating as one with the same suffering, the same torment. You both had to live with the poor reality of your lives; you were killers, you were monsters too. 

         You were too close to him, could smell the heat of his skin, could feel his breath against your sore cheeks. Your hands were flat against his chest, trapped between you, his arm an anchor as it tugged at the roots of your hair, keeping your face turned towards his.

         You couldn’t help but look at him, there was nowhere else to focus, only on him. It was like you could see the pages of a book open across his face, wretchedness and anguish painted in broad strokes in the fair wrinkles around his eyes, in the curve of his brow. It was beauty and pain bleeding together, the amber color of his eyes swirling as he searched your own face like he was looking for something. What would he find hidden behind your own grief?

         “I hate you,” you whispered, breath long gone.

         “I know.”

         “And I’ll never forgive you.”

         It was like he was moving closer, the time you were losing now completely stopped, frozen between your bodies.

         “Don’t want forgiveness,” he caught your whisper and gave it back, “just judgement.”

         His lips met yours with a bruising fervor. 

         The hand in your hair flexed, pulled you closer, made you gasp as your hands slid up his chest. Your fingers found his rumbling throat, and in the back of your mind, you recalled how just moments ago you were waiting to snatch the life from his neck. You felt his pulse beating beneath your thumb, a war drum beating hot and fast in his veins. Your mouth was moving against his, eyes closed, suddenly greedy and hungry; for what, you didn’t know. All you did know was that this felt so wrong, like you’d taken a misstep and landed right into the lion’s lap, but that it also felt like absolution, like he was devouring your sins and taking them for his own.

         Your mouth slanted for him, a hum resounding from both your throats as you fell into this new, strange rhythm. You’d thought about it before, kissing him like this, feeling those plush lips against yours, angry and hot and needy. You cherished the taste of him, like a dark, rich wine filling up your mouth, spilling over and enveloping your senses. Your tongue tempted him to open his lips, to let you in. There was no hesitation. 

         His other hand found your hip, fingers mean and pulling you impossibly closer. Your palms drifted up from his neck, found his face, thumbs smoothing over cheekbones. You could feel the soft hairs of his cheeks, his chin, sweeping against your skin. It all felt too good, like you were getting lost, delirium taking over. Nothing else mattered anymore, just the gratification of tasting his emotions, of taking his groans into your mouth and echoing them back. You pressed harder into him, kept your tongue tangled with his, noses brushing as you found new beats to your rhythm. 

         It was wicked, sinful, something your heart was pleading for and your mind screaming out against. But you couldn’t stop. You didn’t stop. It was as if you kissed for as long as you’d known each other. Every year passed by, every regret, every sharp turn of your tongues against one another, all the hurt and longing, placed into one moment of your bodies finding one another.

         When the heat began to die, you were both still stroking the flames, deep, languid kisses turned into smaller presses of your lips against one another. It was intoxicating and you felt so drunk, so, so drunk off of him.

         There was a stillness between you, like the gentle sigh and breaths of the world as it awoke to the morning sun when you finally stopped. A lulling peacefulness lingered in the wake of what you’d done.

         His hands were still on your body, in your hair, looser now. Yours were still on his face when your eyes fluttered open.

         “I’m sorry,” he murmured, lips plump, wet.

          “I know.”

Next Chapter

#reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #snk reiner #snk reiner braun #AoT #aot reiner #aot reiner braun #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #snk fanfiction #snk x reader #reiner x you #reiner braun x you

[wolfish-trickster]

Advent kisses

24/24

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 2 796 (I regret nothing)

Summary: Instead of chocolates, kisses are going to be recieved everyday until Christmas.

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @modestlyabsurd @winterfrostsarmy @spaceyempress @thefridgeismybestie @laramoonworld @birdgirl90 @nickkie1129 @loki-yoursaviourishere @hard-to-be-the-bard

Y/N POV

The warm water around you felt nice. You were positive you could fall asleep, here in your tub surrounded by soap bubbles. After Loki's yesterday visit and cuddling no cramps came back to you. That doesn't mean you can't spoil yourself with a nice hot bubbly bath first thing in the morning.

Today was the day. The day you'll be honest with him.

Or not.

Your insides hurt from anxiety and fear. What if all those kisses and hugs were his way of warming up to the human contact? What if he sees you as just a cuddle buddy and things will get weird between you two?

'Stop it Y/N, it's going to be okay. You'll be okay. You got plenty of time to calm down.'

You stood up from your warm bath and wrapped yourself in even warmer towel. Still wrapped in it you looked through dresses you brought with you spread out on your bed.

You got a soft creamy one, elegant black one, forrest green and kinda extravagant one and the simple but pretty one with different blue hues with black fluff around the neckline.

At first you wanted to go for the green one. But after further thought you chose the blue one. You're not going to dress yourself in his chosen colour. You'll be wearing the colour he was born in, the one he hated and was affraid to show for god knows how long, until he had accepted himself. You hoped his sharp mind will understand.

You hung the blue dress in your bathroom for later and threw on a simple plain sweater and jeans. The plan for today was to finish little details and make food for the evening.

Everyone has placed the wrapped gifts under the tree. This year was purely your decision. No secret Santa. You guys always argued afterwards, for whatever reason.

You being you bought little meaningful gifts for everyone (except Laura and kids, you didn't expect them to spend Christmas with the Avengers, but you had a feeling Clint will spoil them rotten, so it's fine). You started placing all the colourful boxes you brought among others under the tree. All but one. The one you wanted to give Loki in private was still hidden under your bed. You still didn't know how you're going to do it. Today or tomorrow? Tomorrow will be a chaos with gifts and you two won't get any privacy. So you settled for today, in the evening.

You were excited, but also scared. 'Is there even a name for this emotion?'

~~

Loki POV

Loki just got from the shower. He was drying and brushing his hair. He knew he had to look good in the evening and not right now, but he wanted to look as charming as ever. For you.

Tony told all boys to specifically wear white shirt and black pants, nothing else. Loki was torn between wearing clothes from his or your realm. He looked best in his Asgardian royal attire, but he wanted to look like he was from your home when he confesses his love to you. Decisions...

He'll leave them for later. Right now all he wants is you in his arms, your head on his chest, the smell of your hair in his nose. He dressed himself in his casual asgardian clothes and went looking for you.

He checked your room first, just in case your body was beating you up from the inside like yesterday. Thankfully not. The second place he checked was the living room.

He found you there. Kneeling on the floor, placing gifts under decorated branches of the giant tree.

Quiet as a mouse he crept towards you. He saw his chance when you stilled after placing the last present. As if you were thinking about something important. He quickly picked you up by your hips and spinned you around. Your startled scream turned into laughter when you realized it was only him.

He stopped spinning and held you close to him, your back to his chest. "Hehe, I'm so sorry darling, but I couldn't help myself. Your laugh is so adorable and I wanted to hear it."

You turned around in his arms and put your own around him. "I forgive you trickster, but only because it's Christmas," you winked at him.

He hugged you even closer, inhaling the scent of you. "Merry Christmas my darling," he whispered against the top of your head.

Y/N POV

You felt his hot breath on the crown of your head and smiled into his chest. His hearbeat was fast, still from the little spinning stunt he pulled, you assumed. You loved these hugs. If he didn't feel the same way and rejected your romantic feelings, would he still hug you like this? Would he hug you at all?

Your chest hurt. You can't lose him. Not today. Not ever. 'I guess I'll be satisfied with only friendship for the rest of my life, rather than risking losing this.'

You pulled away from him far enough to still hug him but also to look him into eyes. "Have you put gifts under the tree yet?"

Loki looked at you seriously. "Darling, do you even know me?" he snapped his fingers and a giant green box with yellow bow appeared next to both of you.

"Wow, who's that for?"

"Everyone. I put all of it in one box. To save the paper."

"And what's 'all of it' ?"

He smirked. "A trophy that says 'you're not as annoying as I thought you were'."

You started laughing uncontrollably. That's so Loki thing to do. Even though it hurt a little knowing this is what you're gonna get from him. And as always, your coping mechanism tried to turn something sad into a joke. "At least I'll have a trophy for something, and I didn't even have to try."

"You're not getting a trophy."

"Then what, a medal?"

He moved your hair out of your face and caressed your cheek. "No my darling, you'll recieve a much more meaningful gift."

You opened your mouth to ask, but he shut you up with a single finger on your lips. "I can't tell you, it's a surprise."

You pouted against his finger. "No pouting my dear, patience brings roses."

You pulled his finger away from your lips. "So another ice rose? Good. I like the one you gave me. Did you know it's practically imposible to melt it? I've accidently left it inside yesterday and guess what? Not a puddle."

Loki POV

"-and guess what? Not a puddle."

Can his ice power really be that strong to keep it frozen the whole night? In a warm house? He'll think about it later. "No. And stop being curious. You'll find all out in the right time."

You both stood there. Gazing into eachothers' eyes. Into eachothers' souls. After a while you spoke up. "I think I'll go into the kitchen. To help them with- ahhh- whatever they're doing."

"Oh, okay then," he reliesed you from his embrace. "I have to go and check up on something too. So... eeehh, I'll see you later?"

You smiled warmly at him as you moved towards the kitchen. "Yeah, see you later."

Loki sat down on the couch. Why did you flee so suddenly? He doesn't get it. Human emotions are so complicated. So are asgardians'. Emotions overall are complicated mess.

He sighed and wondered around the place. What else could he do? There were still hours until the official celebration began.

Grunts and huffs were coming from the gym as Loki was passing by. He peeked in and saw his brother. Working out as always. How better kill some time than with a little chat with his beloved brother?

"Hi Thor."

Thor put down those weights he was lifting. "Oh, hello Loki. Blessed Yuletide."

"You too. When are we going to celebrate it properly? It's unlike you to left out getting drunk on that festival," Loki pointed out as he sat on a nearby bench press.

"Hard to tell. Maybe after all of the 'Chistmas' is over," he wiped his sweaty face with a towel.

"What are you doing here. Why are torturing yourself like this? Isn't this day supposed to be a day of relaxation? Dedicated to spend meaningful time with your loved ones?"

"Jane called. She'll come today, I have to look my best for her. And what are YOU doing here? Aren't YOU supposed to be with your loved one?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

"I'm with you, am I not?" his voice dripped with sarcasm.

Thor rolled his eyes. "We both know I didn't mean it like that. What are you going to give her? Jewelry? A book?"

"She's not shallow. My gift for her tells her I know her. That I view her as a wonderful person she is. I think- no I know I'll give it to her today. And I'll tell her how I feel. Do you think she feels the same?"

Thor put a reassuring hand on Loki's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You said it yourself. She's a wonderful person."

"Thank you, brother," Loki felt like a teenage boy again. When he and Thor used to be so much closer. When they were telling eachother about a girl they liked and gave eachother advices. He missed those times, when it was simpler.

"Go take a shower or you'll scare Jane away from you," he told Thor before he got too sentimental.

Thor playfully smacked his Loki's head. "You're not the boss of me," 'you'll still obey my comand as if I was' Loki thought.

And yes, Thor did take a shower.

~~

Loki was looking himself over in his mirror. Black hair slicked back, white (too tight) shirt on, Asgardian trousers and boots as well. He came to a compromise.

He took the box containing your present out of his pocket dimension and nervously played with it. The moment he waited for the whole month was nearing. His palms got sweaty.

'Breathe. Just breathe. Everything will be alright,' he told himself as he put the wrapped box back into the pocket dimension and exited his room.

The christmas music got louder and louder as he approached the living room. Everyone was there. Having fun with kids, drinking or talking and having a good time. His eyes were searching for you. With dimmed lights and the only light source being the tree it was harder than he expected. Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Loki smiled. He knew exactly whose fingers were this gentle. He turned around. "Took you long enough my lo-" he lost his abilty to speak. It rarely happens, but you made it happen with how you looked.

One word: gorgeous. Your hair was adorned with a blue headband with two big white snowflakes on the left side. It matched your blue dress and blue glittery high heels. The black fluff went from your neckline around your shoulders. A red necklace hung on your neck, completing the look of an ice goddess. With this colour scheme you almost looked like-

Jotun. Like him.

You chuckled. "What? Cat got your tongue?"

Loki blinket few times to ground him in reality. "I-I-I, wow. You look absolutely magnificent."

Y/N POV

Magnificent? That's more than you could ever hope for!

You felt your cheeks heating up as you spoke. "Thank you. I tried my best to look good tonight," 'for you'.

"You certainly achieved it," the music in the background suddenly changed from a happy melody to slow and romantic one. As if someone-

Loki outstretched his hand towards you. "May I have this dance?"

"Why not?" you smiled at him and let him lead you to an empty spot in the room.

Loki hugged you by your ways with both hands, your arms snaked around his neck and started swaying to the tune.

More pairs soon joined you. You were thanking all gods no one was teasing you two. You felt how he was rubbing his fingers behind you. Was he nervous? Why?

He leaned down and whispered into your ear. "Darling, what do you say we get ourselves some privacy after this song ends?"

Now you were the nervous one. "O-okay."

Loki hummed and rested his chin on top of your head. "Wonderful."

The end of the song came. A new faster melody resonated from speakers. Loki took your hand and started walking towards his room. What is he planning?

He shut the door after you. He didn't turm on lights, just the small one on his bedside table, giving the whole room a cozy atmosphere.

He took your hands and looked into your eyes. "My lovely Y/N. There's something I wanted to tell you for a while now. I never expected to meet someone like you in this team. Someone so strong, graceful, passionate and sweet. You've caught my attention from the very first time you laughed at one of my jokes and it only grew after you showed your interest in literature, just like me. Now I have to be honest. You see I had this plan: give you one kiss everyday from first of december to Christmas Eve. My love for you only grew with each passing moment we spent together. I love you Y/N. I love you for your kindness, your gentleness, your intelligent mind. Please, allow me to give you this," he placed a neatly wrapped box into your palm. With shaking fingers you opened it. Inside sat a lovely green candle. It smelled like pine tree, snow and leather. It smelled like Loki!

Tears gathered in your eyes as he continued. "If you don't return my feelings, it's okay. I won't preassure you. I just want to let you know I'm always here for you. Anything you need, I'll be there to help you. And if your mind tortures you, this candle will remind you you're not alone. I put a charm on it, no matter how long it burns, the wax will not recede," you were full on crying now. How can he be so.... this? You don't even know how to name it.

Loki noticed your tears, cupped your cheeks and started wiping them away. "My love, forgive me. I didn't mean to upset you."

You shook your head. "It's not like that. I wanted to tell you too, but I got so scared you'll reject me. I love you too Loki. I love you so much," you threw yourself into him, face hiding in the crook of his neck.

His own head dipped into ypur shoulder and his arms held you close to him as he whispered 'I love you' one more time.

"I got you a gift too, I'll go get it," he didn't let you.

Hugging you even closer he murmured into your skin. "Tell me where it is."

"Under my bed," with a snap of his fingers it appeared in your hands.

You unwillingly pushed him off of you and gave him his present. His long fingers tore the wrapping paper apart to reveal a cardboards box.

You spoke up as he opened it. "So you could look cool during storms."

He pulled out brand new headphones. Custom made, with small golden horns, just like his helmet. One on each side of the earpiece.

"It's not as meaningful as yours, but-"

"I love it. It's amazing, thank you," he pulled you into another deep hug.

You heard little cracking above you. You pulled your head away from Loki's chest and looked up. He made an ice mistletoe grow from the ceiling.

"Would you look at that, your infamous murder weapon. Wanna smooch?" you asked in joking tone, however you were dead serious.

"I'd love nothing more," he cupped your cheek, his other hand pulled you close to him.

His lips touched yours, soft and careful, as if he was affraid to break you. You eyes fell shut as you tasted him. Fingers got lost in his hair, pulling him even closer, deepening the kiss. Your tongues dannced together, stroked eachother. The hand on your cheek moved to the back of your neck and you moaned into the kiss.

Eventually you had to part in order to breathe. Your foreheads were touching, Loki's cheekes were flushed, his hair messy from your hands.

He softly pecked your lips again. "I love you, my darling."

"And I love you. Always," and you got lost into another deep kiss.

A/N: thank you all for reading ❤️ I wish you beautiful Christmas and blessed holidays!

#loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #the avengers #christmas fic #fluffy loki #loki fluff #loki (marvel) #fluff

[sassyduckqueen]

Miraculous: Rise of Anatis 60

And that's a wrap on my season 3!!! I really hope you guys like this chapter. At the very least, I hope it's better than the actual miracle queen episode. I'm happy that I even got to work in some lore as well :D anyway, I'll be starting on my 'season four' which have a few oc akumas and other season 3 akumas I haven't used yet. It will also explore the guardians and their history and of course, we'll be seeing more of Mila and the Western holders. Speaking of them, two of them are characters in the actual show so feel free to guess who they might be. Will these heroes be returning? Maybe but they might not necessarily be wearing those miraculous again. Also I will be drawing up their designs at some point. Anyway, the next chapter will be one of the OC akumas, Neon Queen. Should be fun to see how that goes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Sixty: Miracle Queen (2/2)

~The Guardian's Temple~

  Mila opened her eyes as she looked up at the sky. She was laid on the ground underneath a cherry blossom tree. She sat up and glanced around, making a frown as she did. She could see the entrance to the guardian's temple on her right, making her frown even more as she realized where she was. She hadn't been here in over three hundreds years. She slowly got up and looked at the tree before walking over to it's trunk and placing her hand on it, holding back tears as she did. The last time she had seen it was the day before her beloved was killed. The two of them considered this tree their special place. It was where their love had formed. They spoke underneath it's leaves and spend their nights gazing at the stars in it's branches. Her beloved had even asked her to marry him here. She quickly wiped her tears from her cheeks as she shook her head. No, this wasn't the real tree. That had been buried, along with the temple a century ago. This was a dream but why was she dreaming of it? She hadn't dreamt of this place in decades so why now? What had changed? Her eyes snapped open as she heard the soft sound of someone playing a pipa nearby. She looked over and saw a young man, barely in his twenties. His hair was long and dark in color with a silver ribbon tied to part of it. He wore a blue tang shirt with silver detail and light gray pants. His legs had bandages over them and he wore black shoes while he wore dark blue gloves that were elbow length and fingerless on his hands. He was sat near the tree, gently playing the pipa with his eyes closed. He slowly came to a stop and opened them, revealing they were silver in color as Mila stared in shock. He smiled softly, putting the pipa down and walking over to her as tears filled her eyes.

  "T-Tóutāi..." She gasped as he stood in front of her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she covered her mouth, trying to hold back a sob.

"Don't not cry, my flower," He whispered, cupping her face with his hand. She leaned into it as he wiped her tears away with his thumb. 

  "This can't be real..." She gasped, looking up at him. "This is just a dream..."

  "Maybe," He smiled, making her chuckle. "Or maybe it isn't,"

  "Either way, I don't want to wake," She whispered as he gently pressed his forehead against hers. "I have missed you, beloved... but how are you in my dreams? I thought that traitor had permanently killed you,"

  "The time for answers will come soon enough, my flower," He whispered back, making her frown but at the same time, she didn't mind. He always was cryptic. She guess it came with been the celestial guardian. "For now, I must relay an important task to you... for you are the only one currently protected by my magic,"

  "What is it, my love?" She asked, looking up at him.

"The balance is in danger," He stated, making her blink. "The moth has made a deadly move in the game he plays and without help, the children of creation and destruction will lose themselves to the song of the fox. The time to step from the shadows is now, my flower. Help them,"

  "Tóutāi... I don't know if I can..." She gasped, looking down. "I'm not the same woman you fell in love with..."

  "Of course you are," He stated, gently pressing his hand over her heart. Mila gasped softly as she felt all the love and hope he felt for her. "You are still the brave and determined woman I fell in love with. They need your help,"

  "I'll do what I can," She whispered before pressing her lips to his. He cupped her face as he kissed back before they pulled away. "Goodbye, beloved,"

  Tóutāi gave her a sad smile as the scene around them began to fade around them, causing everything to disappear including him.

  ~Mila's Office, Paris~

  Mila opened her eyes as she came around from her dream. She sat up and glanced around, frowning as she heard the sound of a flute playing. She walked over to the window and glanced outside, gasping as she saw everyone around her just stood eerily still. They were staring with glowing orange eyes, making her frown deeply. This must be what Tóutāi had warned her about. However, she wasn't affected by it. Tóutāi had given her a flower necklace on their wedding day as a gift. He had explained that he had enchanted it to protect her from anyone's magic. She had never taken it off, even after his death. She placed her hand around it, mentally thanking him before she turned on her heel. She noticed her phone had a missed call, causing her to pick it up and dial voicemail. She hit play to listen to it.

  "Mistress, it's Renée. Um you told me to report in if I ever came across Anatis. Well, I just did. He seemed nic-" The sound of a flute caused her to cut off, causing Mulan to frown before she heard the phone drop and it hung up. Renée and Elise had been at the Grand Paris Hotel for the anniversary of Mr and Mrs Rossi. Their daughter, Lila, had invited them to it and they decided to go since they wanted to kill time before they went to Anatis' medal ceremony in the evening. She was also planning to attend but now she had to deal with this situation. She hung up her phone and walked over to her desk. She sat down and pressed several hidden panels that caused a secret draw to pop open, revealing a circular box with the symbol of the guardians on it. She took it out and opened the lid, revealing a layer inside that was split into sessions. From the out section, she took out the cuff links and the key chain. She placed them in little boxes that resembled the miracle box. She then took all three of the miraculous from the center section, She placed two of them into the small boxes but placed the bracelet on her wrist, causing a kwami to manifest as it changed to a simple gold chain. It was light blue and green in color and resembled an octopus. It opened her eyes and blinked at her before bowing.

  "Master Mulan, it is a honor to see you again," She stated, making her bow back.

  "It is good to see you again, Kraak but I require your help," She stated as it nodded before she held up her wrist. "Kraak, Unleash!"

  Kraak got sucked into her bracelet, transforming it into a bracelet that resembled tentacles. Mila swiped her hand over her face, creating a mask that resembled tentacles and changing her eye color to lilac color before throwing her hands up in the air. A light blue light spread from her fingers, creating her outfit and shoes. She wore a high neck vest with no sleeves that was turquoise blue in color and loose turquoise green pants that were tied at her knees. Armored panels appeared on her shoulders and hips before a blue belt appeared around her waist. She had turquoise blue fingerless gloves on and her vest had a deep blue zipper. Her hair turned into a midnight blue shade and was styled into a bun with strands of hair by the side of her head. A tentacle shaped tiara appeared on her head and a flexible claw appeared on her hip before finally her shoes manifested, completing her transformation. She grabbed the boxes and placed them into her pockets before going into a different draw and grabbing a handful of ear plugs. She shoved them in her pockets as well before going over to the window and jumping out. She took out her weapon and used it to swing through the city. She landed on a building and stopped as she narrowed her eyes. On the street below was Anatis and Lady Noir but they were walking calming and ignoring everyone who was stood staring. She jumped down and landed in front of them before glancing at them. Like the other citizens, their eyes were glowing orange, making her frown. However, they completely ignored her and walked past her. She grabbed Anatis but to her surprise, he grabbed her arm and slammed her into the ground before walking off. She got back up and frowned deeply. If she hadn't been wearing a miraculous, he would have broken her arm. She threw her claw back up and made her way across the rooftops as they continued to walk through the street. She narrowed her eyes as she determined how to neutralize them. However, a shiver went down her spine, causing her to look around. There was no one around but she felt someone nearby. To her surprise, a feeling overtook her, telling her not to attack them but to find others for the miraculous she grabbed to help wake them up. Somehow, she knew that she wouldn't get close enough to use her ability on them on her own. She looked down at the heroes who were still walking through the street before sighing and jumping across to the Grand Paris hotel where Elise and Renée should be. She landed on the roof and walked across before noticing the two girls stood by the pool, staring into space. She rushed out and placed her hands on Renée's shoulders.

  "Renée?" She gasped as the girl just stared with the same glowing eyes. She looked over at Elise who was doing the same before taking a deep breathe and placing her hand on Renée's forehead. "Mind break,"

  Renée suddenly gasped as the orange in her eyes shattered and disappeared before she stepped back and looked around as Mila moved over to Elise and repeated the ability, waking her up as well.

  "Mistress?" She asked as Elise blinked and looked around. "What happened?"

  "There's an akuma who's put everyone under some sort of spell," She explained, taking out a couple of ear plugs and giving them to the two girls. "It's the music so wear these,"

  "Yes, Mistress," Renée replied as they nodded and took some from her. They placed them in their ears before Mila took out two of the boxes in her pockets. "Mistress?"

  "Renée, this is the miraculous of the Wyvern," She stated, giving the box to the girl. "And Elise, this is the miraculous of the Penguin. I need you both to go and distract Lady Noir and Anatis while I go find two others to help us with this mission,"

  "Why are we distracting them?" Renée asked as she took the box and put on the jacket earring. A green dragon like kwami manifested, causing her to smile. "Hello, Vernn,"

  "Miss Renée! It is my honour to see you again,"

  "They have been affected by this akuma and seem to be heading somewhere that I fear will lead to their doom," Mila explained as Elise took the box from her and opening it. A small penguin like kwami manifested as she put the cuff links into her sleeves. "I just need you to distract them but if you are able to restrain them then do so but please be careful. They are been mind controlled,"

  "We'll be careful," Elise replied before transforming into her hero look. She looked like a magician, wearing a black tail coat over a white shirt and full length black pants. Her hair turned black with white strips and her iris turned white while her scleras turned black. A half black and half white mask appeared over her eyes and a wand appeared in her hand. She placed it on her back as Renée transformed as well. Her outfit was a one piece suit with a tail coat over it. The tail on the coat resembled a dragon's tail and it was green in color. Her main suit was the same dark green but had a light green section across her stomach and chest. Her hair turned green as well and a scaled mask appeared over her eyes as they became lizard like before her boots and gloves appeared. Finally a sword appeared by her side, completing her transformation.

  "Let's go," She declared before jumping off with Elise as Mila went her own way. The two landed on a building near the Louvre Museum. They glanced around at everyone who was just stood eerily still before they noticed Lady Noir and Anatis walking past everyone, completely ignoring them. "There they are,"

  Elise nodded and jumped down with Renée. landing in front of the heroes. The two of them stopped and stared at the newcomers with blank expressions but before they could do anything else, Anatis' eyes widen as if surprised before they flickered back to blue. He gripped his head as if he had a headache, making the two girls look at each other as Lady Noir just stared at them. Elise took a step forward.

  "Anaits?" She gasped as he gasped before the sound of the flute got louder, making them both frown. It seemed to over take his mind again as his hands dropped from his head before he reopened his eyes. The blue faded back to orange and he took out his yoyo, spinning it. Lady Noir took out her baton as they both got into a fighting stance. Elise held up her hands as Renée held out her sword. "Please, we don't want to fight you,"

  Renée pulled her back and blocked Anatis' yoyo with her sword as he tried to hit her with it. Lady Noir charged at Elise, causing her to block her baton with her wand. Anatis grabbed Renée's art and reached for her miraculous but she stomped his foot and knocked him back as Elise dodged Lady Noir's attack. Anatis growled and went to throw up his yoyo.

  "Lu-" He went to declare but Renée kicked him, stopping him from summoning his lucky charm before she tried to grab his yoyo. He jumped back and dodged her as she charged at him. Meanwhile, Lady Noir threw Elise into a building. She held out her hand and was about to summon her cataclysm, causing Elise to try and crawl away from her but before she could, a figure jumped down in front of her.

  "Fire Phoenix!" He declared, causing his form to become in engulfed in flames that blinded the heroine, causing her to gasp and stumble back as she covered her eyes, hissing. Anatis knocked Renée back and turned to charge at the newcomer but he suddenly gripped his head again as his eyes flickered back to blue, causing the newcomer to gasp. "Anatis!"

  Anatis groaned as he stepped back but like the first time, the music increased and his eyes turned back orange. He titled his head to the side and charged at the newcomer, spinning his yoyo. Renée rushed over and helped Elise to her feet before they blocked Lady Noir's attack as she had recovered. She hissed and tried to scratch as the newcomer tried to block Anatis' attack with his fans. He managed to knock back the hero before going in front the attack.

  "Guys! Hold your breathe!" A voice shouted, causing the group to look confused as a girl in an outfit that looked like a skunk summoned what appeared to be some sort of grenade. She threw it inbetween Anatis and Lady Noir, causing it go release a pink smoke. Elise, Renée and the other hero covered their mouths as Anatis jumped back, also covering his mouth but Lady Noir moved too late. To their surprise, she slumped to the ground as the smoke cleared. The girl jumped down and gave everyone a sweet smile as they took her in. She was wearing a black and white romper with a slash across her hips that resembled a tail. She had black knee high boots on and black tights with white details. Her hair was short and spiky and she had elbow length gloves on that were half black and half white. It was black with white tips in highlights and her eyes were an aquamarine color. On top of her head were two animal ears and she had a black mask over her eyes. "Hi, I'm Aroma,"

  "Phénix rouge," The boy who set himself on fire stated, nodding sternly. Now that they could see him, they saw he was wearing dark red trousers with a matching waistcoat and an orange shirt. On his waist coat, he had a brooch pinned to it and his hair was bright yellow. In fact, it appeared to be glowing. His boots were dark red and knee length and his eyes were orange. Like the others, he had a mask across his eyes. It was orange and yellow, similar to a sunset. He had black fingerless gloves on hands and his fans were hooked onto his hips. He had his arms crossed and looked moody as he glanced around at Elise and Renée. "Who are you two?"

  "I'm Dame," Renée replied, getting a nod of everyone.

  "And I'm Snowbird!" Elise smiled as Mila jumped down and joined them. "Mistress!"

  Mila held up her hand and looked around before turning her attention to the still unconscious Lady Noir. However, Anatis had managed to get away. She frowned to herself before walking over and placing her hand on the heroine's head, closing her own eyes.

  "Mind Break," She declared, causing her hand to glow blue again before Lady Noir's eyes snapped open. The orange in them shattered and disappeared, causing them to return to their normal form as Mila let go.

  "Annie!" She cried out before she looked around and saw the group. She instantly jumped up and held out her baton. "Who the hell are you guys and where is Anatis?!"

  "Lady Noir, my name is Koro," Mila stated, walking forward. "These are my students. Phénix rouge, Dame, Snowbird and Aroma. As for Anatis... he escaped before we could free him,"

  "Free him?" Lady Noir asked, blinking as she noticed all expect Koro were wearing earbuds. She then looked around panicked as she realized that she had no idea how she got to the Louvre. They had been in Master Fu's apartment and were just about to leave when they heard a flute then she woke up her. Her eyes widen in fear as she realized that they must have been under the spell of who ever is playing the flute. She put her baton away and turned to leap away but Koro grabbed her shoulder, making her look at her. "I need to to find Anatis! He's-"

  "Still under the spell I know," She replied, making Lady Noir frown. "We're coming with you. You're gonna need my ability to free him from the spell and having back up will help. Especially if Hawkmoth makes an appearance. Now here,"

  She shoved a pair of ear plugs into her hands, causing Lady Noir to put them in.

  "Where were you heading?" She asked, making Lady Noir frown as she tried to remember. She could hear a voice in her head and it said to come to them. Somehow, they knew where she was, making her frown.

  "The Trocadéro Gardens," She answered, making them frown. "And you're right. I am gonna need help to save him but this doesn't mean I trust you. Understood?"

  "Got it," Koro replied, nodding before turning to her students. "Before we head there, did anything unusual happen while you were fighting?"

  "Anatis almost broke out of the mind control," Dame stated, making the two blink. "He saw me and his eyes flickered back to blue and then he gripped his head like he was trying to fight it but the music increased and he went back to been controlled,"

  "The same happened when he saw me," Phénix stated, making both Lady Noir and Koro frown. "Is that important?"

  "I don't know..." Koro stated, frowning. "Either way, head to the Trocadéro Gardens,"

  The group nodded and jumped away, following Koro and Lady Noir.

  ~Trocadéro Gardens~

  Miracle Queen frowned as Anatis landed in front of her and bowed towards her. She was sure she had gotten control over Lady Noir as well so where the hell was her? She growled and walked up to him. She took his yoyo, just in case he wasn't really under her spell. However, he did nothing to stop her, causing her to smirk. Meanwhile, Hawkmoth frowned from his position above Miracle Queen. Her music should have put Lady Noir under the same spell yet only Anatis was here. He opened up the connection between him and Miracle Queen, making her blink.

  "Where is Lady Noir?" He asked, causing Miracle Queen sigh and look at her nails with boredom.

  "I don't know," She gasped, annoyed. "But I'm sure she'll turn up soon. I'm certain she's under my spell but even if she's not, we have her boyfriend. She'll do anything to ensure that we won't hurt him,"

  "Find out where she is!" He snarled, closing the connection as Myura stood next to him. "Lady Noir should be here,"

  "Bug boy, where is the mangy cat?!" Miracle Queen demanded, causing him to look up at her but he didn't answer her right away. Instead, he just stood there and said nothing as he stared. "Answer me!"

  "Asleep," He stated, making her look at him with annoyance as Hawkmoth rose his eyebrow. She slammed her flute into the side of his face before turning on her heel as he stood there. Mayura frowned as blood dripped down his forehead.

  "What the hell do you mean asleep?!"

  "We were attacked by other miraculous holders," He stated, causing Hawkmoth and Mayura to gasp as Miracle Queen rolled her eyes. "They used some sort of grenade to put Lady Noir to sleep. I got away..."

  "Well, there is no point in taking your miraculous yet then. I want that dumb cat to be around when I take it so I can hers too and then wake you up so you can see my success!" She growled, spinning his yoyo before she turned back to him. "Now! Tell me how amazing I am!"

  "You're the most amazing person in the world, Miracle Queen," He stated in a motionless voice. She frowned before she knew he didn't mean it but it was still fun to make him say things. She went to tell him to declare that Marinette was a nasty creature but Hawkmoth jumped down and held up her hand, making her look at him before rolling her eyes and walking away. Anatis continued to stare into space.

  "Anatis, who were the other holders?" Hawkmoth asked, smirking. He might be able to get the identities of his allies, which in turn would lead him to gain the other miraculous. "Did you pick them?"

  "No, I've never seen them before in my life," He stated, surprising Hawkmoth. 

  "But your master picked them?"

  "No, their miraculous are not part of our box," He stated, making Hawkmoth frown but before he could question him farther, Lady Noir threw her baton at him, causing him to step back and jump up to where Mayura was as Miracle Queen glared at them.

  "Miracle Queen, don't let them free Anatis from your control!" Hawkmoth shouted, causing Miracle Queen to growl.

  "He's mine! I won't let you take him from me!!" She screamed before playing her flute. She threw up the ball of light, causing an explosion to appear before it cleared, revealing hundreds of copies of her. Koro threw her claw and used it to grab Lady Noir's baton throwing it to her before the six of them charged at the illusions. Miracle Queen grabbed Anatis and pulled him away from the fight, causing Lady Noir to run follow them as the others took down her illusions. Koro went to follow but Hawkmoth landed in front of her, making her narrow her eyes.

  "I assume you're the one who gave out these miraculous," He stated as she held out her hand, ready to fight.

  "I am Hua Mulan, Guardian of the Western Box and I find you, Hawkmoth, guilty of misuse of the butterfly miraculous," She declared, causing him to smirk before he took out his cane and charged at her.

  "Mistress!!" Snowbird gasped, going to run after them but she gasped and fell back as a huge moth sentimonster appeared. It went to charge at him, causing Dame to jump front of her and block it's stinger with her sword. Phénix helped Snowbird to her feet and ran after Lady Noir as Dame and Aroma took on the giant bug. 

  ~Back to Lady Noir and Miracle Queen~

  "Let him go!" Lady Noir growled as she charged at Miracle Queen, going to hit her with her baton. Miracle Queen blocked it with her flute and knocked her back, causing Lady Noir to slide back. She smirked and spun her flute, playing the tune on it. She threw it to the sky again, increasing the song playing and causing Anatis to grip his head. "Anatis!"

  "Take her miraculous, my servant!" Miracle Queen ordered, causing Lady Noir to gasp as she gave him back his yoyo. He took it and instantly began to attack her relentlessly. She blocked his attack and fought back, causing Miracle Queen to laugh as she watched. It wasn't like how they fought during training. Anatis wasn't holding back and he was using everything he could against her. He slammed his body into her, causing her to fall. He grabbed her leg and threw her into a tree, causing her to groan as she got up. She went to punch him, causing him to grab her hand. He went to take her miraculous but she managed to wrap her legs around him and slam him onto the floor as Snowbird and Phénix appeared, causing Miracle Queen to growl as she played her flute again. "Come my servants and defeat me again these losers!"

  To their surprise, a number of civilians turned up and began to trying to fight them as Miracle Queen turned her attention back to Anatis and Lady Noir, who had him pinned down. However, he knocked her back, causing her to backflip as he stood back up. He charged at her, causing her to block his arms and kick him. He countered her counter as they fought.

  "Anatis! Fight against her!" She gasped, blocking his fist. He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, slamming her into the floor as Miracle Queen smirked evilly.

  "Kill her first then take her miraculous off her cold corpse!" She ordered, causing Anatis to wrap his hands around Lady Noir's neck. She gasped and tried to fight him, struggling to get him off her. She kicked out and dug her nails into his hands as he tightened his grip. Her eyes widen as her skin began to turn blue and her grip began to weaken. Phénix slammed one of the civilians into the ground as he rushed over towards them. Lady Noir's eyes were slipping closed as she began to lose consciousness but Miracle Queen jumped and landed in front of him before he could reach them. "I don't think so, birdie!"

  She hit him in the stomach with her flute, causing him to gasp and fall to the ground. She smirked and lifted it above her head to hit him with it but Snowbird pulled out of her wand, spinning it.

  "Glacier!" She declared, charging it up with a blue glow before tapping the ground with it. Instantly, the ground turned blue, causing Miracle Queen to suddenly fall over. She tried to get up but kept sliding over, allowing Phénix to get up and rush back over to Anatis and Lady Noir. Anatis still had his hands wrapped around her throat, causing Phénix to see red. He went to charge at him but stopped when Lady Noir suddenly gasped for air, coughing as Anatis shook before he gripped his head again. Lady Noir slowly sat up as he groaned and yanked at his hair.

  "A-Annie?!" She gasped as he backed away from her.

  "N-No!" He gasped, causing Phénix to rush over. He helped Lady Noir to her feet as Anatis stepped back, still gripping his head. "Get out of my head!"

  "Annie!" Lady Noir gasped, pulling out of Phénix's grip and rushing over as Anatis fell onto his knees. She went to run over as Phénix grabbed her arm. "Let me go! I have to help him!"

  "Noir, stay back!" Phénix called out, trying to pull her away from him. "He's under that akuma's control!"

  "I can get through to him!" She called out, pulling out his grip and rushing over to Anatis. She cupped his face as he looked at her. His eyes were flicking between orange and blue as tears rolled down his face. "Annie, it's me. It's Lady Noir. Your best friend... remember? We're best friends!"

  "Kill her!" Miracle Queen screamed as she tried to get back up again, causing her to slip over again. Anatis' eyes went to blank and orange again as he went to wrap his hands around Lady Noir's neck.

  "Annie, don't listen to her!" She gasped, flinching but he stopped as his eyes flickered blue again. His eyes flickered orange again before he suddenly covered his ears and let out a loud scream, surprising everyone before he slumped against Lady Noir. "Annie?... Annie!?"

  ~Luka's POV~

  Luka screamed once again as he tried to block out the sound of the flute as it played loudly in his head. He was more than aware of what he was doing but despite that, he couldn't stop himself. He had tears rolling down his face as he walked towards the source of the music with Lady Noir. He tried to shout at himself and stop himself when those other miraculous holders turned up and when he began to attack them. He abandoned his friend when they got the upper hand and left her at their mercy. He didn't know if they were trying to help them or not but if they weren't, he had just left her and all because of the music in his head. Music that was drowning him. He wanted to scream and break free but he couldn't stop hearing it. It briefly stopped playing when he saw that girl in the wyvern miraculous. For a second, he had seen a knight stood there instead but then the music came back and he was back under her control. It happened again when he saw the boy with the phoenix miraculous. Like the girl, he had seen someone else stood there but once again, Miracle Queen took control. It made him feel sick. He could feel her inside his head, trying to find out who he was really. Luckily, he had kept her at bay but he didn't know how long that would hold. Right now, he was trying not to listen, hoping that he could break her control before he killed Lady Noir. He didn't want to hurt her. His voice hurt from shouting but he was still strangling her.

  "Glacier!" He heard one of the new guys declare, causing Miracle Queen to slip and fall. For a second, the music lessened. However it was enough for him to notice. 

  "Stop hurting her!" He called out, causing his body to stop strangling Lady Noir. She suddenly gasped for air, coughing as he shook. He gripped his head as the music began to increase again. "No! I won't listen!!".

  "A-Annie?!" Her voice echoed, causing his body to back away from her. He was semi in control but it was still hard to break free. He could still hear the music and miracle queen inside his head.

  "N-No!" He gasped, still gripping his head. "Get out of my head!"

  "Annie!" Lady Noir gasped, her voice echoing. "Let me go! I have to help him!"

  "Noir, stay back!" The phoenix boy's voice declared. "He's under that akuma's control!"

  "I can get through to him!" She called out. He flinched as he felt her hands on his face. "Annie, it's me. It's Lady Noir. Your best friend... remember? We're best friends!"

  "Kill her!" Miracle Queen's voice echoed, causing the music to increase as he tried to stop himself from wrapping his hands around her throat.

  "Annie, don't listen to her!"

  Luka...

  "Annie?"

  Luka...

  "Annie?!" Lady Noir screamed before it completely turned black...

  ~Luka's Mind Hut~

  Luka gasped as he opened his eyes, finding himself in the hut where Feng lives. He frowned to himself as he looked around. In the distance, he could still hear Miracle Queen's music but it wasn't as loud. He stood up as he sensed someone with him, causing him to turn around as he expected it to be Feng. However, the man sat calmly in front of him wasn't Feng but only resembled him. His hair was long and black. Part of it had a silver ribbon tied to it and he wore a blue tang shirt with silver detail and light gray pants. His legs had bandages over them and he wore black shoes while he wore dark blue gloves that were elbow length and fingerless on his hands. His eyes were closed, causing Luka to frown a little before he opened them and looked at him. Like Feng's, they were silver.

  "Hello, Luka," He sat, making Luka blink as for a moment, the man's outfit changed to one that resembled the phoenix miraculous.

  ".... You used the phoenix miraculous, didn't you?" He asked, causing him to nod before a name came into Luka's mind. "Tóutāi... that's your name?"

  "Yes," He replied, making Luka frown as he looked around. "Feng is somewhere else. I know you're more familiar with him but..."

  "You can help me?" He asked, causing Tóutāi to nod. "Miracle Queen's song... it's controlling me... how do I stop it? I can't stop hearing it,"

  "You're a musical empath right?" He asked, making Luka nod. "So use your music,"

  "My... music?" He asked, confused. "But I don't have my guitar,"

  "This is your place as much as it's ours," Tóutāi replied, making Luka blink as he held a pipa and began to play it. "So if you want your guitar, you just have to think about it,"

  "My... guitar..." Luka muttered, confused but then he felt his acoustic in his hand. He looked down and saw it. He moved his fingers across the board and closed his eyes, beginning to play. At first, it was quiet and he wasn't sure what to play but then he began to play louder and better as he started to play Marinette's song, pouring his emotions into his music and slowly but surely, he felt Miracle Queen's control slipping even more. He closed his eyes as he slipped into the song, feeling the emotions he felt when he wrote it. When he next opened his eyes, he was no longer in his hut but leaning against Lady Noir's chest as she held him, causing his face to heat up as he pulled away.

  "Annie?!" She gasped, surprised as he looked around. Miracle Queen saw him and pointed at him.

  "Finish them!" She screamed, causing him glare at her before he got up. "What?! Answer your queen!"

  "You are not my queen!" He snarled, making everyone gasp in surprise as he glared at her. "Time to end this! Lucky charm!"

  He threw his yoyo in the air and caught the teapot before gasping as he worked out what it mean. He hooked it to his belt and picked up Lady Noir, making her blink as he jumped away and across Paris. She held onto him as he did.

  "I'm sorry..." He whispered, making her look at him. "I... I nearly killed-"

  "Shh," She stated as they reached Master Fu's. "It's ok. You were under her spell but you're free now,"

  "I'm still sorry," He muttered as they came through the window. Anatis frowned as his miraculous beeped. He needed to detransform but he wasn't sure if Miracle Queen could see through Master Fu, who was stood staring with orange eyes. He grabbed a blanket and threw it over him as Lady Noir covered her eyes, allowing him to detransform. He caught Tikki and gave her a cookie before he walked over to the phonograph and put in the secret code. He took out the miracle box and opened it, grabbing the dragon miraculous and the snake miraculous before turning to Lady Noir and placed the miraculous in her free hand. "Time to show Hawkmoth and Miracle Queen that they don't get to mess with us or our heads,"

  "Sounds like a plan to me," Lady Noir grinned, taking the choker and putting it as he transformed back into Anatis before opening her eyes and greeting Longg. He put the snake miraculous on before closing the box and putting it back in the phonograph as Lady Noir held out her hands. "Plagg, Long. Unify!"

  A red glow covered her outfit as it gave her a red tail with gold detail on her left leg. Her right leg got a thigh boot and her gloves turned red with gold detail. Her ears got red insides with a gold strip while two horns appeared below them,. Her collar turned red with a gold trim and her mask gained red and gold triangles. A red circle appeared on her chest with a water drop, a cloud and a lightning strike in the middle. The ring around it was green and her eyes had turned green with yellow scleras. Finally a sword appeared on her back as Anatis held out his hands.

  "Tikki, Sass. Unify!" He declared, causing a green light to engulf him, turning him back into Red Mamba. "Ready to go, Black Dragon?"

  "Let's go kick Lila's butt!" She grinned, causing the two heroes to jump out of the window, heading back to the Trocadéro Gardens. It didn't take them long to get there but when they did, Miracle Queen had gotten up and Mayura's moth monster was about to take down the new heroes while Hawkmoth and Koro were equally matched. Miracle Queen laughed as she twirled her flute. Red Mamba narrowed his eyes and flicked his bracelet, activating second chance.

  "I don't know how you broke out of my control, you dirty beetle but soon, I'll have you back under my control!" She declared before playing her flute and throwing the ball of light up in the air. It burst and amplified the tune already there, causing it to overtake everyone as she laughed before noticing he wasn't affected. She ordered them to attack him, causing him to jump back and flick his bracelet back. 

  "I don't know how you broke out of my control, you dirty beetle but soon, I'll have you back under my control!" She declared but he threw his yoyo, knocking back her flute. However, she dodged it and managed to get the tune out, controlling everyone again. He flicked his bracelet back again.

  "I don't know how you broke out of my control, you dirty beetle but soon, I'll have you back under my control!" She declared but this time he didn't hit her./

  "Black Dragon, use water dragon!" He ordered, causing Black Dragon to nod.

  "Water Dragon!" She declared, using her sword to create a shield around them as Miracle Queen used her power. However, this time it didn't affect Black Dragon. "Whoa!"

  "Water blocks sound," He replied, smirking before he threw up his yoyo. "Lucky charm!"

  A violin with appeared out of thin air, causing Red Mamba to grab it as he looked around to work out what to do.

  "Get them!" Miracle Queen screeched, pointing to them as Phénix, Dame, Aroma and Snowbird charged at them. "Get me their miraculous!!"

  The four heroes dived through the water but as soon as they did, their eyes returned back to their normal colors and they looked around confused as Miracle Queen screamed in annoyance and summoned civilians to try and attack them. Red Mamba saw Phénix and Dame light up before followed by the violin and Black Dragon's wind symbol. 

  "I have a plan," He stated, making everyone look at him before pointing at Dame. "I need you to use Empower on everyone in this bubble,"

  "Um..." She stated, confused as to how he knew that. As far as she knew, he had no idea what her miraculous was but Red Mamba turned to Phénix. 

  "Once Dame uses her power, you need to activate Ash Phoenix." He stated, making Phénix blink in surprise. "Black Dragon, I'll need you to release the water bubble then use Wind Dragon to direct Phénix at Miracle Queen. Once you're there, you need to grab her fox pendant,"

  "Sure thing, danger noodle," She grinned, giving him a salute. He smiled softly at her before Phénix cleared his voice.

  "And the mind control?" He asked as Red Mamba smirked and pointed to the violin.

  "That's what this is for," He replied, placing it under his chin. "Her song only controls if you can hear it, which is why we need Empower. Not only will it make your powers more powerful but it will amplify my own ability,"

  "Alright," Dame declared, holding up her sword before charging it up. "Empower!"

  A green glow appeared over the blade, causing her to tap each one with it. Red Mamba began to play the violin but he didn't just play the music, he played the emotions. On  a normal level, it was power but been amplified with empower, caused it to be much more powerful then Miracle Queen's song. Phénix took a deep breathe as he felt courage replace his fear.

  "Ash Phoenix!" He declared, turning into ash as Black Dragon released the water bubble.

  "Wind dragon!" She declared, transforming into the actual wind. When she combined with the ash that is Phénix, they became a small tornado, which knocked Miracle Queen off her feet. Phénix reformed and grabbed her fox pendant before throwing it to Black Dragon as she reformed.

  "Give that back!" Miracle Queen screamed as Black Dragon caught it.

  "Cataclysm!" She declared, causing it to turn to dust as Miracle Queen screamed out as the akuma escaped. They saw Hawkmoth glare down at the scene before he jumped onto the sentimonster with Mayura and flew away with Koro going after them. Red Mamba stopped playing, causing everyone to fall under her spell again, apart from him. He quickly catch the akuma and released it before throwing his violin into the air.

  "Miraculous Ladybugs!" He declared, causing it to burst into the cure and spread through Paris, fixing everything and freeing all from Miracle Queen's control. It came back and wrapped around the heroes, freeing them before disappearing. "Tikki, Sass. Divide,"

  Sass manifested as he turned back into Anatis, allowing him to catch him as Black Dragon blinked as the other heroes looked around.

  "Wow," Snowbird gasped, looking at Anatis with stars in her eyes. "You did it!!"

  "Of course, he did," Black Dragon grinned, making him blush a little. "Anyway... Plagg, Longg, divide,"

  She caught Longg as she turned back into Lady Noir, causing Anatis to smile at her before they turned their attention on Miracle Queen, who turned back into Lila. Anatis frowned deeply as he looked at her.

  "Lila Rossi, why am I not surprised?" He asked, making her blink and look at him. 

  "Oh, Anatis! I'm so sorry!" She gasped as fake tears filled her eyes. "I was just so upset about my parents-"

  "I get it," He stated, surprising everyone as he put the snake miraculous into the yoyo and walked over. He held out his hand for her, causing her to blink before she took it and he pulled her to her feet. However, his grip tightened and moved his lips close to ear, making her wince in surprise and pain. "I see you've made your choice, Rossi,"

  "W-What?" She gasped, genuinely caught off guard.

  "You've made it abundantly clear that we are playing on different sides of the board. You've decided to move against me and I know you're somehow working with Hawkmoth," He stated in a calm but chilling voice. It genuinely frightened her. "So let me make this very clear. You and I are at war and I will do everything in my power to ensure that you get what's coming to you, Rossi and do whatever it takes to expose you for the monster you are,"

  He pulled away and gave her a smile as a chill went down her spine. He was deadly serious and she knew it.

  "I'm sure you'll understand that we can't help you get home," He stated as his miraculous beeped, along with the others. "Let's go,"

  The heroes ran off, leaving Lila to shake in fear as Anatis' words haunted her.

  ~Later that Day~

  "I hereby name today Anatis day!" The mayor declared as everyone clapped. Anatis and Lady Noir hadn't turned up but no one was surprised. They had just dealt with a very dangerous akuma and as far as Paris was concerned, they were allowed a moment to themselves. Instead, they had returned to Master Fu's and given back the miraculous before taking him up to meet the other heroes and their leader Koro, which was where they were now. Anatis was leaning against the wall, unsure what to make off the whole situation. Lady Noir was stood next to him, making sure he was ok while Master Fu talked to Koro.

  "I thought all the guardians had perished," He stated, making the two heroes look over. Koro looked over at the Paris skyline.

  "I left before that," She explained, making them frown. Her heroes had gone home and she had reclaimed their miraculous in private. "I turned my back on the guardians long ago,"

  "Why now?" Anatis asked, making her look at him. "How long have you been in Paris and why appear now?!"

  "Annie," Lady Noir stated, making her blink as she gently rubbed his arm. He instantly calmed down as if her touch had soothed him. It reminded her of how Tóutāi would calm her down. Her expression softened as she looked at them. She knew young love when she saw it.

  "I've been in Paris since Hawkmoth's first attack," She admitted, making them all look at her. "I was just planning to observe as I didn't want to get involved,"

  "Then why did you?" Anatis asked, clearly annoyed by her answer. 

  "Because my beloved asked me to," She stated, placing a hand over her chest as the three of them gave her a confused look. "I am the guardian of the western box but also the wife of the celestial guardian,"

  "Su Han?" Master Fu asked but to their surprise, Koro growled.

  "Do not mention that traitor's name!" She growled, making them look at her. "He was not the true guardian! My beloved Tóutāi was!"

  "Tóutāi?" Anatis asked, making her look at him before she narrowed her eyes.

  "You recognize the name, don't you?" She asked, making him glance to the side. "I knew there was something different about you, Anatis. Not many can break free from mind control like you did and I know you knew what the powers of the wyvern and phoenix miraculous were. My students told me... just who... or what are you?"

  "Wouldn't you like to know?" He shoot back, making her glare at him as he pushed off the wall. "I'm going home. Koro, thanks for your help but stay out of my way... since that's what you want,"

  "You don't trust me," She declared but she didn't sound hurt.

  "It's not like the feeling isn't mutual," He stated, coolly before turning to Lady Noir. "See you later, Kitten,"

  With that, he jumped off and swung away. It didn't take him long but soon he landed on the liberty and slipped through the porthole, detransforming as he did. He caught Tikki and gave her a cookie before lying down on his bed and letting out a sigh. Today had been difficult to say the least. He let out a sigh and curled up as Tikki floated over. 

  "Tikki,"

  "Hmm?" She asked as she ate the cookie.

  "Who is Tóutāi?" He asked, making her look at him in surprise. "You know him don't you?"

  "He was one of the celestial guardians of the miraculous," She stated, making him frown. "There's been six in total. Master Feng was the first but then there was Master Khnurn, Master Alpheus, Master Rene, Master Tóutāi and Master Su Han..."

  "Koro called Su Han a traitor,"

  "Well... he's the only one who isn't like the others," She stated, looking at her paws. "It's rumored that the Celestial guardians were special. You see they are the reincarnations of Hao Feng,"

  "But Su Han isn't... is he?" Luka asked, frowning. Tikki shook her head. "So how did he become the next Celestial guardian and why isn't it the next reincarnation of Feng?"

  "I don't know, Luka," She explained, making him frown. "I don't know,"

  ~Hawkmoth's Lair~

  "Are you ok?" Nathalie asked as Gabriel sat, holding his head. She frowned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry that it didn't go the way you wanted..."

  "Miracle Queen may have been a failure but we learnt something else today," He stated, opening his eyes. "There is another guardian in Paris. One that even Anatis didn't know about and I want her miraculous but more importantly... there might be other miraculous in the world. Nathalie, I want you to search for them. If there are other then I must obtain them!"

  "Of course, Gabriel," She replied, nodding. "Once you have them, Anatis will fall,"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: Coming soon

#luka couffaine #Ladybug Luka Couffaine | Anatis #angry luka #dark luka #mind controlled luka #marinette dupain cheng #cat marinette dupain-cheng | lady noir #Dr Mila #hua mulan #miraculous #miracle queen #miraculous ladybug #Rise of Anatis #Rise of Anatis Lore #anatis #miraculous: tales of Anatis and Lady Noir #Miracle Queen Anatis AU #Rise of Anatis au #lila is the worst #lila salt #miracle queen! lila #Lila akumatized again #hawkmoth and mayura #gabriel agreste #pro lukamari #toutai #celestial guardian miraculous #western zodiac #western miracle box #dame

[toaarcan]

One ship exposes everything wrong with TRoS

Heaven help me, I’m back on my bullshit.

Alright, so, I enjoyed The Rise of Skywalker when I watched it. I actually watched it twice, once on my own when I rushed to see it as soon as possible in order to beat spoilers, and once with my family, in what was a semi-annual new year tradition for us during those four years that a Star Wars film released.

But that doesn’t mean it was good. I enjoyed Transformers: Dark of the Moon the first time I watched it, and that movie’s still a steaming pile of shit. I was admittedly fifteen when I saw DotM, but still. 

My point is that I’m fully capable of enjoying crappy films.

But there’s one thing, one thing about TRoS that exemplifies so many of the problems with TRoS as a whole, if not everything (And by that I mean with TRoS specifically, the woeful treatment of John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran is a Whole Trilogy Problem). And it’s a ship. Specifically this ship.

The Resistance Y-Wing. I hate this ship with the fiery passion of an exploding star, and to talk about why, we need to first go back to The Last Jedi and its conspicuous lack of Y-Wings.

One of the things that I disliked most about the Sequels before TRoS put all the other problems into stark light was the lack of new ships. Instead of new vehicles, we got shinier, sleeker versions of the ships from the original trilogy. And I disliked this because it’s the opposite of what the Prequels did.

Episodes I-III don’t feature more primitive versions of the X-Wing and TIE Fighter, but instead have similar vehicles that evoke the classics while still having an identity of their own.

The ARC-170 looks kinda like an X-Wing, but it’s bigger and has more weapons and crew, and you get why the well-funded Republic can afford things like this while the scrappy Rebels can’t.

The Eta-2 is a predecessor to the TIE Fighter, but it being employed exclusively by Jedi makes a lot of sense, of course a precognitive wizard with superhuman reflexes can do well in a light, unshielded ship, while in the hands of the Empire’s military they’re just expendable swarm fighters.

But then in the Sequels, rather than evolve the ships into new forms, they just made new incarnations of the X-Wing, TIE Fighter, A-Wing, TIE Interceptor, B-Wing, and of course the Y-Wing.

Well, except for one movie: The Last Jedi.

At the outset of the film, we’re introduced to this ship.

This is the MG-100 StarFortress, AKA “That ship all the Star Wars Youtubers hate”. It’s designed to be a much heavier and bulkier version of the B-Wing Starfighter, and is even made by the same people.

From questions about how the bombs “fall” toward the Dreadnought (The answer is magnets) to claims that they’re completely useless because most of the ones in the film died so easily, these things have been put through the wringer by the fandom, and honestly they don’t deserve it? What destroyed the StarFortresses in the film wasn’t their own weaknesses, but them being deployed in too tight a formation. It was a tactical fuckup, not a problem with the ship’s design.

And given that the whole point of the battle over D’Qar is that Poe makes a tactical fuckup to kickstart his development into the new leader of the Resistance as a whole, adding another layer makes sense to me.

But we live in a post-CinemaSins world of media consumption, where every plot-point that isn’t spelled out with a flowchart and an audio commentary by the writers is actually a plothole. 

We also live in an era where Star Wars fans pine for the days of the Legends canon where everything about new ships, species, and worlds was explained in background lore and books, and are angry that the new Canon is... doing exactly the same thing?

Seriously, how much exposition and lore dumping is actually present in any of the Star Wars films? Not a whole lot. And that applies to all three eras. 

So the StarFortress’ appearance in the film and the lack of Y-Wings led to a bevy of armchair writers demanding to know why the Resistance weren’t using Y-Wings and why they were using those “Resistance Bombers” that are just ‘terrible’.

Answer? Because the Y-Wings sucked shit.

Seriously, go back to the Original Trilogy and try to keep track of the Y-Wings, and see what they actually do, and you’ll find that what they do is “Explode, mostly.”

We’re first introduced to the Y-Wings in A New Hope, and they’re supposed to be the ones performing the Trench Run while the X-Wings cover them, and to their credit, they try.

And then they all get blown up by Vader and his wingmen before they can even take a shot at the exhaust port. Well, except that one that appears with the rebel ships flying away from the Death Star.

Where the fuck were you when the X-Wings were doing the attack run?

The Y-Wings got absolutely wrecked.

Ancillary media would go on to explain that the Y-Wings were beat-up old vehicles that were no longer fit for purpose, but the Rebels had to use them anyway because they had basically no money. They’d stripped down the ships and removed a bunch of their more costly features just to make them viable, and the results of that were pretty clear.

Of course, the Y-Wings were still present in the later films. They don’t do anything in The Empire Strikes Back, but they play a role in Return of the Jedi.

Naturally, that role is mostly “Get blown up while the other ships do the important stuff”.

Despite supposedly being a fighter-bomber that was designed to do significant damage to capital ships, does the Y-Wing play a role in the destruction of the Executor? Does it fuck. Destroying the Imperial flagship’s deflector shields and the subsequent suicidal ram attack on the bridge are tasks that are both performed by the goddamn A-Wings. Y’know, the light interceptors?

The Y-Wings get shown up at their own job by the ships that are there to protect them from TIE Fighters.

Ancillary media again explains why they’re still there. While the Rebels have a newer, better fighter-bomber in the B-Wing, the B-Wing is expensive as fuck and also really difficult to fly. 

A non-centreline cockpit that rotates will do that to a ship.

Still, the B-Wing was a better bomber than the Y-Wing ever was (And the StarFortress was better than them both at that role).

All this adds up to a simple fact: There were very good reasons why the Resistance weren’t using Y-Wings. And there were even reasonable reasons to choose the StarFortress compared to the B-Wing itself, given that the Resistance are still undermanned and under-funded, especially with the New Republic getting nuked midway through The Force Awakens. It being easier to fly and having more armaments would have made it a viable choice for the Resistance.

Buuuut oops, people didn’t like the StarFortress and we can’t make the Internet angry at us again! Better put the Y-Wings back in for Episode IX, and show them destroying a Xyston-class Destroyer, that’ll make them happy!

And sure, okay, giving the Resistance a fighter/bomber is probably a good idea. And they already have New X-Wings and New A-Wings, so where’s the harm in a New Y-Wing?

Alright, alright, sure. But why the fuck does it look like this?

If this is a new ship, why is it already stripped-down like the ones in the Original Trilogy? Why doesn’t it look like the actual brand-new Y-Wings we saw in The Clone Wars? 

Now that’s more like it. Still visibly a Y-Wing, but with more of an identity of its own. 

Seriously, “Literally the same ship but without its armour pulled off” has more of a unique identity than the crowd-pleasing New Y-Wing.

And that, in and of itself, is the essence of The Rise of Skywalker.

It’s blind, empty fanservice, rushing to include as much nostalgia-pandering as possible to try and get the fanbase back on-side after The Last Jedi didn’t do what the fanboys wanted it to do.

This is a whole near- three hour movie whose only message is “Yes, Youtubers making TFA critiques longer than an entire season of TCW, we hear you, we’ll make it for you, please love us!”

And, almost entirely predictably, it was shite.

It was riddled with plotholes and none of the scenes had any time to breathe because the movie was too desperately trying to rush itself to the next crowd-pleasing scene in a desperate attempt to wank off as many disgruntled fanboys as it possibly could.

Luke with his green saber! Jedi Leia! Chewie gets a medal! Lando! Luke raises his X-Wing out of the water! The main villain is a testicle in a bathrobe again! Snork origin! Original-flavour Star Destroyers! Rose doesn’t exist! Rey had a super-special secret magical bloodline the whole time and Luke and Leia totally knew even though Luke has literally no idea who she is in Episode VIII! Luke actually was just afraid of the bad guys in Episode VII, none of that self-imposed exile for his own mistakes nonsense! Y-Wings.

I mean fuck. Disagree with Luke’s portrayal in TLJ all you like, I certainly have my issues with it, but I lay those at the feet of JJ for making Luke’s absence into one of his fucking Mystery Boxes, and then deciding that, even though last time Luke sensed Leia and Han might be in danger, he abandoned his Jedi training, hopped in an X-Wing, and flew halfway across the galaxy to try and save them, he wouldn’t do shit when the First Order pointed a star-powered System-Killer 9000 at Leia, and Han got himself killed trying to redeem Kyle Ron. Like how in fuck was Rian supposed to explain Luke’s inaction in VII?

But regardless of the problems with that Luke portrayal, at least Mark Hamill gave it his all. Hell, it might be his best performance in the Star Wars franchise!

 In TRoS, he shows up in a bad wig, waves a middle finger at TLJ, and ascends to his final form as a Lightsaber Delivery Boy, because apparently all you need to kill a Sith who literally clawed his way back from death is two lightsabers. Haunting Kyle Ron? Nope. Providing guidance as a ghost? Not really.

And y’know what the kicker is? It didn’t fucking work. Lucasfilm and Disney fucking gutted this trilogy, sliced out the integrity, surgically removed the soul of Episode IX in a desperate effort to make the Internet’s most unpleasable fanbase happy, and it didn’t work. They still hate it! Now they just concoct hour-long videos about how much they would’ve preferred to have the Trevorrow script (Which is admittedly much better, albeit still with it’s far share of giant flaws), which was probably thrown out because it wasn’t fanservicey enough!

The Rise of Skywalker is an awful film. It’s a loose collection of nostalgia-baiting moments, roughly stapled together around the skeleton of a plot that was never properly developed. It’s a Frankenstein’s Monster of a movie, but, and I say this with full offense, the Victor Frankenstein in this tragic story isn’t Lucasfilm or Disney or Kathleen Kennedy or Rian Johnson, or even JJ Abrams. It’s you, Star Wars Fandom. It is your monster. 

#Star Wars #The Rise of Skywalker #Disney #Lucasfilm #Episode IX #Episode VIII #Episode VII #The Last Jedi #The Force Awakens #Y-Wing Starfighter #B-Wing Starfighter #MG-100 StarFortress

[roman-writing]

bring home a haunting (3/12)

Fandom: The Haunting of Bly Manor

Pairing: Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor

Rating: M

Wordcount: 27,332

Summary: Dani almost has her life together, when a familiar face arrives back in town after ten years. A childhood friends AU written with @youngbloodbuzz

read it below or read it on AO3 here

Where once Dani had imagined scenarios of breathlessly rounding a corner to find Jamie there, only to find an empty space and a sense of something — frustration? anger? relief? feigned indifference? disappointment? — now Jamie would be there. Every time. As though their schedules had aligned, suddenly and without warning. Dani couldn't tell if this was a blessing or a curse. Perhaps a mix of both. 

Or — what was it Judy had said? Kismet. 

Dani drove up to the gas station and stepped out of the car. Stanley, the local attendant, jogged out to fill up the tank, and Dani thanked him with a smile. It was an overcast Saturday, but she had dinner at the O'Mara household to look forward to later that evening, and Eddie was off in the next town over helping Tommy build a new deck. Leaving Stanley to handle the car, Dani walked into the shop to idly peruse items she had no intention of buying while she waited. 

Her fingertips were ghosting over the frames of sunglasses that had been on display for at least seven years, when a truck with faded green paint puttered into the row beside her car. Dani's brow furrowed; she didn't recognize that car, and she recognized all the regular cars in this town. Either someone was passing through, needing a top up on their way to some more worldly destination, or someone new had — oh. 

Oh, no. That was Jamie. Jamie was jumping from the high seat, boots hitting the concrete. That was Jamie slamming the door shut and giving Stanley a wave as she made her way into the shop. Before she knew precisely what she was doing, Dani's hand had curled around a pair of large sunglasses and she was sliding them over her face. She angled herself away from the door with the pretense of admiring the glasses in the small smudged mirror perched atop the display rack. 

Behind her the bell jingled. The sound of heavy footsteps and the brush of a draught as the door swung shut once more. Dani held her breath, eyes flicking up towards the mirror. She could see the reflection of Jamie's legs angled in the glass. Even when Jamie turned and strode towards the counter, Dani could feel the tension in her own shoulders until she was wound tight as a spring. 

There was the slap of the service bell and Jamie's unmistakable voice calling out, "Hunter! I know you're back there! C'mon! I'm trying to give you actual money here!" 

The door to the back room swung open, and Dani could hear a sigh. "Jamie," said Hunter, sounding weary. "You couldn't wait five minutes for Stanley?" 

"He's busy, and I need oil." 

"I just sold you some last week." 

"What? Is there a ration enforcement in these parts? Are we still at war with ze Germans? Didn't anyone tell you? That shit's all over, mate." 

"I'm not that old." 

"Bullshit, you aren't," Jamie said, and even without seeing her face Dani could see the teasing grin that came with her tone. "I've seen those medals you parade around every Veteran's Day." 

"Those are for Korea, you dunce." 

"Really? Always thought it was for those damn Boers." 

"All right. All right. I'll get your damn oil. You happy?" He began to stomp back through the rear door. "How many bottles do you need this time?" 

"Make it six," Jamie answered. "Best be safe, yeah?” 

Whatever he grumbled in answer, Dani couldn't hear. She kept her shoulders hunched, reaching for another pair of sunglasses — bigger this time — and jammed them atop the bridge of her nose. Through the windows she could see Stanley finish up with her car, replacing the cap, and then move to Jamie's. Clearly he intended to ring them both up at the same time. Made sense, but that didn't stop her from wishing she could slip away without Jamie noticing her presence. Maybe she could just lie and say she left her wallet at home, drive away, and then come back to pay later when the station was decidedly Jamie-free. 

Jamie herself had vanished from the little mirror. Dani's ears pricked, and she glanced around as surreptitiously as she dared while maintaining the illusion of shopping. There, at the corner of her vision, she could see the slope of Jamie's profile moving through the only two aisles in the whole place. Dani shuffled around in an attempt to keep her back facing Jamie, rather than turn the display rack. She kept her gaze fixed on the mirror, and tried to remain as quiet and unassuming as possible. 

"Don't reckon that pair suits you much." 

With a jerk, Dani glanced over her shoulder. Jamie was leaning her elbows on the short aisle dividing the space between them. She had clearly been shuffling through the magazine section, for she held the latest Wonder Woman comic book edition in her hands, along with some other magazine that bore bold red text over a picture of Cher’s face.

"Oh," said Dani. "Hi, Jamie." 

Jamie did not answer immediately. Instead, she withdrew and wandered around the aisle to stand beside Dani. She tucked the comic book and magazine under one arm, and lifted a hand to point at various sunglasses in silent judgement. Her lips were pursed in thought. She shook her head, pointed to the next, made a face, pointed to the next, and then finally - 

"These," Jamie said, pulling down a pair of pink-rimmed glasses. "Try these." 

Clearing her throat, Dani took off the pair she was currently wearing. Jamie had unfolded the pink sunglasses and was holding them out towards Dani for her to put on. Dani ducked her head slightly to let Jamie slip the sunglasses into place. 

"Oh, yeah," Jamie said. "Those are the ones." 

One hand still occupied with the other pair, Dani reached up to push the ones she wore further up her nose. "Better?" 

"Worse. So much worse." Jamie grinned. "You should definitely buy them." 

With a snort of laughter, Dani pulled them off and put both sets back on the rack. "Still giving out terrible fashion advice, I see." 

Jamie shrugged, the corner of her mouth curled in a grin. "Keeps me honest." 

Turning towards the rack, Dani plucked a pair of vibrant chemical green sunglasses with triangular frames, and held them out to Jamie. "I'll buy the pink ones if you buy these." 

Without a lick of hesitation, Jamie took the sunglasses and donned them. She looked at herself in the mirror. "Really bring out my striking personality, don't they?" 

Dani was biting at her lower lip to keep herself from laughing. "Oh, absolutely. People will see you coming from a mile away now." 

"I was thinking I could use them to direct traffic when the grid goes out. Are they glow in the dark?" Jamie pulled them off to check the tag. 

Before Dani could answer, the door opened and Stanley entered. He looked over at the two of them. "You're all done, ladies. Who should I ring up first?" 

Dani pointed at Jamie, who pointed back at her. 

"No, really," insisted Dani. "You should -" 

"Nah. I'm still waiting on that oil from Hunter. Go on." 

And as if summoned, Hunter reappeared from the back room with a case of oil beneath one arm. 

"Didn't just have six bottles lying around," he said, moving behind the till and scanning the box into the system. "Had to scrounge around in storage. Let's go, Taylor. I don’t got all day." 

He waved at Jamie to approach, like a king beckoning forth a serf. 

"Guess that answers that question, then," Jamie said. She gave Dani an apologetic smile, then strode over to the counter. 

When she placed the two magazines and the sunglasses down, Dani blinked in surprise. "You're not honestly buying those, are you?" Dani asked, stepping into line behind her. 

Hunter rang up all the items, and Jamie passed over some cash. "'Course I am," she said. "The kid'll love them." 

Hunter gave Jamie her change, at which point Jamie stacked the magazines atop the cardboard box of oil and swept them all up beneath her arm. Then, she whipped the garish sunglasses over her nose and ears, said, "Ta," and sauntered out of the service station like she owned the place. 

Dani was still staring after her when Hunter asked, "Was there anything else you wanted?" 

Dani jolted as if from a daydream. She shook her head. "Uh - no. Thanks, Mr. Thompson. I'll see you at Church tomorrow." 

By the time she had paid and walked out to her car, Jamie was gone.

 --

Dani didn’t even have to wait for the end of the day before another run in. No sooner had she stepped into the O'Mara house, than Judy was sighing about having forgotten to pick up onions for dinner. Dani immediately held out her hand for the shopping list, saying, "I'll go. You stay." and Judy gratefully handed it over.

"You're a star," said Judy, pressing a kiss to Dani's cheek and cash into Dani's hand.

"It's no problem," Dani said with a laugh, already heading back towards the front door where her car awaited, parked on the street outside.

Carson trotted after her, intent on coming along to keep Dani company. And also, she suspected, to have free reign over her stereo, where he could blast the latest pop tunes without anyone in the house telling him to keep it down. With a shake of her head and a small smile, Dani drove them down to the supermarket.

It should have been a quick jaunt. Grab what they needed and head back home for dinner. In and out. Completely uneventful.

Dani was bickering with Carson in the produce aisle, when she saw her. Eyes going wide, Dani immediately dropped down to a crouch beside the display of potatoes.

"What are we doing?" Carson whispered loudly as he crouched down beside her. "Did you drop something? Oh, look, I found a quarter."

"That's - uh - That's nice," Dani said, not really paying any attention to him as she lifted her head to peer over the potato display as though peering over the parapets, fearful of incoming gunfire.

Carson did the same, and his eyes lit up. "Hey, is that Jamie? Mom mentioned she was back in town -"

"Shh!" Dani tugged him back down by the back of his leather jacket until the both of them sat on the ground, their backs pressed against a fruit stand.

Carson gave her an odd look. "Okay, this is not what I expected."

"What do you mean?" Dani asked, not really paying him much attention. She dared to peek around the corner, but Jamie must have moved along to a different aisle; she was nowhere in sight.

"Well, for starters, I thought you'd be glad to see her again. Not -" Carson gestured to her with one hand. "- Doing whatever this is."

The tiles were cold beneath her. Dani met his gaze and held it for a moment before turning away once more. "It's complicated."

"Complicated? You two were glued at the hip."

"Yeah, and then she left," Dani said far more sharply than she had intended.

Carson held up both hands in surrender, quarter still stuck between the fingers of his left hand. "Okay. Okay. None of my business, clearly." When she didn't answer him, he said in a low voice, "So, how long are we going to wait here? It's just — I'm hungry. And I am contemplating eating raw spuds at the moment, so -"

"What the hell are you two doing down there?"

And for the second time in less than twenty four hours, Dani nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden sound of Jamie's voice. She craned her neck to find Jamie leaning over a display of garlic and shallots to stare at them in bewilderment. 

Immediately, Carson gave the quarter a flick into the air with his thumb and caught it again. “Found this.”

Jamie’s eyebrows rose and she grinned. “Not bad. And you are -?”

Pushing himself upright, Carson pocketed the quarter and said, “Aw. Don’t recognize me for my devilish good looks? I’m wounded, Jamie.” 

For a moment Jamie’s forehead furrowed in bemusement, and then her eyes widened. “Holy shit. Carson? No way.” 

He laughed, arms opening for a hug which she stepped into without hesitation. While they were having their happy little reunion, Dani rose to her feet and surreptitiously brushed off the backs of her legs, trying to not appear as out of place as she felt. Jamie and Carson parted with hearty pats on the back and full smiles. Jamie let her hand linger on his shoulder for a moment before lowering her arm.

"Look at you," she said appraisingly. "Christ, but you shot up, didn't you? Still the shortest brother, I see."

"Hey, fuck you," he said but his grin only widened. "I bet you're the shortest of the group now. Hey, Dani! Stand beside her and let's see who's taller."

Hesitant, Dani did as she was told. She and Jamie stood back to back, while Carson measured their heights with the flat of his hand. It was like being back in Judy's house as kids, marking growth spurts in pencil on the wall that Judy refused to repaint as the years dragged on, so that to this day it was littered with marks. Except this time, Dani and Jamie were very careful not to touch. Dani could feel the brush of Jamie's bulky jacket against the back of her arm, and she jerked her hand away immediately.

"Hate to break it to you," Carson said to Jamie, "but you're now officially The Shortest. God rest your soul, Jamie Taylor. I hardly knew ye."

When Dani turned back around it was to find Jamie looking genuinely horrified at this news.

"Come off it!" Jamie said, and she checked Dani's legs. "You're wearing heels, aren't you?"

Shaking her head, Dani lifted one foot to prove that she stood in simple flats, whilst Jamie herself wore thick-soled leather work boots encrusted with mud.

"Fuck me," Jamie muttered, while Carson laughed mockingly at her.

Dani cleared her throat and reached for a pre-packaged bag of white onions from the display. "Hey, Carson, we should -" she said with a jerk of her head towards the exit. "Your mom's waiting for us back home to bring these."

His eyes lit up and he turned to Jamie. "You should come over! You know mom. There's always room for one more at the dinner table."

For a brief terrifying second, Dani thought Jamie was actually going to accept his offer, but Jamie only shook her head. “Nah. I got to get back home to the kid before he burns the place down. Some other time, maybe.”

Jamie gave them each a nod, and then continued on her way, picking up a plastic shopping basket as she went. Dani watched her go, jaw tight. When Jamie had rounded the far aisle and vanished from sight, Dani turned to find that Carson was watching her instead. 

“What?” Dani asked, fingers tightening around the netted packaging in her grasp. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

“No,” Dani lied. “It was fine.” 

Carson smiled at her, indulgent and gentle, before nudging her. “I wasn’t lying about starving to death, though. Come on.”

Rolling her eyes, Dani followed him to the register to pay.

 --

It was nearly six in the evening when Dani finally tore herself away from her desk at school the next week. She had run out of papers to mark and classes to plan, no matter what she told herself to the contrary. There was always more work to do, but even she could not deny that there was nothing more to be accomplished now. Not when she could hardly concentrate enough to do more than twirl a pen between her fingers and ignore the growling of her own stomach.

She should go home. She should make dinner. She should do the dishes. Hell, she should probably vacuum. And yet here she was, grasping at any straw that might detain her for another five minutes.

With a sigh, she pushed away from the desk and rose to her feet. Packing everything away, she slung her bag over one shoulder and left, stopping to lock up the classroom behind her. The halls of the school were empty. Late afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows and washed the floor in golden tones that warmed her ankles with every step. As she trotted down the stairs leading to the front door of the school — the janitor would lock up everything at seven, she knew — Dani paused.

Mikey Taylor was still seated against the trunk of a tree on the front lawn. His head rose and he waved in a bored manner towards her. Dani lifted her hand in return. She almost took a step in his direction, before with a shake of her head she steered herself away towards where her car was parked in the staff lot.

It wasn't her business, she told herself sternly. How Jamie raised her little brother was Jamie's prerogative. Never mind that Mikey shouldn't be sitting out here alone for nearly three hours, waiting to be picked up. Never mind that the school library closed at four, kicking out any loitering kids. Lips pressed into a narrow line, Dani yanked open her car door and threw her bag into the passenger seat. It wasn't any of her business. Jamie had made that clear enough ten years ago.

Dani shut the door behind her with a little more force than was strictly necessary. The keys jangled as she stuck one into the ignition. One hand on the steering wheel, the other on the key, Dani paused. From here, she could just see Mikey over the dashboard. He had taken to tearing up grass and making a pile on the ground.

Dani firmly ignored him as best she could, and turned the key. Her car sputtered and groaned. She stopped, then turned the key again, only to be faced with the same results.

"Come on," she muttered, gripping the steering wheel tight.

This time when she turned the key, the engine gasped to life, followed by an awful grinding noise. Dark noxious smoke started to eek up from the seams of the hood. Dani groaned and leaned her forehead against the steering wheel, while the car shuddered beneath her seat. She would need to go back inside to ring a towing company and then ring Eddie and ask him to come get her. Doubtless, he would spend the whole ride home complaining about her car and how she should give it up. 

Great. Just when she thought this day couldn’t get any worse.

Someone rapped on her window. Dani’s head jerked up. She blinked out the driver’s seat window at the sun-drenched silhouette of Jamie Taylor standing just outside. Dani’s hands flexed against the wheel. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed in, but then Jamie was tapping at the window again with the back of her knuckles. Opening her eyes, Dani wound down the window.

"Not that I should tell you how to live your life," said Jamie by way of greeting, "but you should really turn off the engine."

Dani twisted the key in the ignition, and the car spluttered and died. The dark smoke that had been threading from the hood was now beginning to fade, though she could still smell something acrid on the air.

Jamie had shifted somewhat so that the sunlight now lanced directly into Dani's eyes. Dani squinted out the window, lifting one hand to shield her brow, and said, "Hi."

"Mind if I have a look?" Jamie asked, gesturing towards the front of the car.

"What?"

"Your engine. Mind if I check?"

"Oh. It's - You really don't have to,” Dani stumbled over the words. “I was just about to run back inside to call a tow -”

“I don’t mind,” said Jamie, briefly glancing at Mikey, who was now sitting in a green truck parked on the street. “Reckon the kid won’t mind either. What’s a few more minutes?”

Finally, Dani gave a relenting nod. "Yeah. Sure. Thanks."

Jamie was already rounding the car to stand before it, her fingers searching beneath the seam of the hood. "Can you pop the bonnet? Should be a lever or summint in there."

Dani scouted around until she found the lever Jamie was speaking of, and the hood popped open with a lurch. She opened the car door and stepped out as Jamie was lifting the hood with a groan of metal on metal and holding it in place with a steel arm latch. The moment she hoisted it up, a cloud of oily smoke bloomed forth, and Jamie waved it away with a cough and a screwed up face. 

"Fuck. That's bleedin' awful," Jamie muttered to herself.

Arms wrapped around herself, Dani moved to stand by one of the front tires. "He's been waiting out here for a while," she said, nodding towards the green truck. "I - uh - I tend to keep an eye on him. From the classroom, I mean. I can see the front lawn from my classroom."

"'Fraid there's not much I can do about that," Jamie said, already bending over to poke around in Dani's engine. "I work long shifts at the botanical gardens. Got to make a living somehow."

"Yeah, but - It's a long time, is all I'm saying."

Gingerly, Jamie touched some sort of spout and unscrewed a cap so she could pull out a long narrow stick of metal from the engine. "Yeah? He say anything to you about it?"

"Well, no," Dani admitted.

"Anybody pick on him?"

"No."

Jamie shrugged, still not looking up from where she worked. "If he's that keen to get home earlier then, he can walk. I used to walk further to school everyday. Remember?"

Nodding, Dani sat on the edge of the car, careful not to get any grime on her skirt from the exposed engine. The car had been sitting in the sunlight for so long, she could feel the burn of metal through the fabric of her skirt. "Yeah," she sighed, shifting slightly so that she wasn’t leaning her full weight on the car. "Yeah, I remember."

Silence fell between them. Dani watched idly as Jamie did this and that, wishing she knew anything at all about cars. Jamie's overalls and band shirt were already dirty, the jean material streaked with mud. An errant leaf was stuck to the sole of Jamie's boots, and her hair was tied back from her face with a bandana. Dani chewed at her lower lip, glancing away when Jamie bent over further so that the torn collar of her t-shirt revealed her collarbones and a length of silver chain disappearing beneath the fabric.

"How long's it been like this?" Jamie asked.

"About six months now," said Dani. "I just got it out of the shop a few weeks ago, but nothing seems to stick."

"Well, whoever worked on it last clearly did a shit job if it's still doing this."

Dani bit back a swell of embarrassment. The mechanic had been under the recommendation of Eddie, and it wasn't as though there were many mechanics to choose from in a place like this. Not any that would take her seriously on her own, anyway.

"Trust me," Dani said, "This is an improvement."

"That bad, huh? Can't make any promises that this'll do much, then. Might be able to patch it, if we’re lucky."

"I thought you could fix anything," Dani replied, unable to keep back a small grin, and something like lead dropped in her stomach at the familiarity of the comment. 

Jamie paused, eyes flicking up to meet hers, standing frozen for a moment. Dani could feel the smile slide from her face, and Jamie turned her attention back to the engine. 

“Would if I could,” Jamie finally said. “But I’m no mechanic. Just a bit of a gearhead in my spare time.” 

Wringing her hands together in her lap, Dani said, "Thank you anyways."

"No problem, Poppins."

Hearing that old nickname again was like an electric shock, like a current racing up her spine and buzzing at the nape of her neck. Dani twisted the gold band of the engagement ring around her finger and bit her tongue to keep herself from saying something she would regret. 

“Well, now,” Jamie grunted a while later, arm still half-buried in the engine of Dani’s poor car, “There’s one problem, right there. Your rear main seal’s leaking all over the place.”

“And that’s -” Dani said slowly, “- bad?”

Jamie continued poking around, leaned over so far she was standing on her toes now to crane her neck and see past all the bits and bobs Dani couldn’t name if her life depended on it. “It’s not great. I don’t suppose you’ve noticed a trail of oil in your garage or driveway? After you’ve parked, maybe?”

Dani nodded.

Even after receiving confirmation, Jamie stepped back in order to crouch down and look beneath the car. “Yeah, there’s some here, too. Thought as much.”

Dani asked, “How bad are we talking here?”

Straightening with a shrug, Jamie wiped at her cheek with the back of one hand, leaving a streak of oil in its wake. She leaned over the engine for another poke around inside. “Means you’ve been slowly running out of oil since you last took this to the shop. If it were the front main seal, it would be an easy fix, but this -” She hissed and yanked her hand back from the hot metal exterior she’d touched, “- ow! Fuck!” Jamie waved her hand through the air for a few seconds before diving back in. “This is a big job. Got to remove the transmission, the clutch, the fly wheel — you get the picture. Hours and hours of work just to get at a five dollar seal. Nothing I can do about it here.” 

“Do I need to call a tow?” Dani asked, already wincing at the bill that was yet to come. 

“Nah,” said Jamie, leaning back and standing up straight. She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “I have some oil in my boot. Should be enough to get you home, but you’ll need to have it looked at sharpish.” 

Drawing in a deep breath, Dani nodded. She worried at her lower lip with her teeth. Maybe Eddie was right. Maybe it was just time to sell it. Maybe it wasn’t worth anything but scrap. Maybe -

“Hey.” 

Dani jerked her head up. 

Jamie had undone the bandana and was now using it to wipe off her hands. Her brows were furrowed, watching Dani with an expression of distant concern, as though afraid to get too close but idling just an arm's length away. Without the bandana, her hair was a mess of fly-aways wisping about her face. Dani had to throttle the urge to reach out and smooth them back. Maybe if it had been a decade ago. But not here, and not now.

Jamie tilted her chin up in a nod towards Dani. "You all right there? Got that look. One that says you're too deep in your own head."

Dani cleared her throat. Her hands itched to move, so she occupied them by running them through her own hair with a sigh of frustration. "Yeah. It's - It's nothing. Really. My car's been having a lot of problems lately, and -" She cut herself off, then laughed ruefully. "It's going to sound stupid, but I just don't have the heart to sell it, you know? So —"

Dani let her hands fall back to her side, but even then they fidgeted; her ragged thumbnails running along each individual pad of her fingertips.

"So," Jamie said slowly. "Buy a new one."

Dani's mouth dropped open, but the words escaped her.

"What? Don't have enough money?" Jamie asked, sounding incredulous. "I know they don't pay you that poorly here. And didn't you just sell your old house?"

"How do you -? How do you know that?"

Jamie gave her a look. "Dani. Please. You think there are secrets? In this town?"

For some reason that simple statement sent a shiver of apprehension down Dani's spine, coiling in her gut like a live snake. She swallowed hard and straightened her shoulders. "I know North Liberty isn't London or anything, but it's not that small."

"If there are more than two thousand people in this place, I'll eat that rear main seal of yours," said Jamie, swatting at the exposed engine with her grimy bandana.

Glaring, Dani huffed and crossed her arms. "It's not the money."

Jamie was winding the bandana round and round the knuckles of one hand. She looked so at ease, leaning against the front of Dani's car, engine oil on her face, one booted foot propped back against the rusty bumper. She could have been a poster. "What's it then?"

Dani lifted her chin. "None of your business."

Jamie blinked, taken aback, eyebrows raised. "Wow." She laughed, but the sound held no real mirth. "Right. Well. Suppose it isn't."

Dani glanced away, arms tightening around her midriff. When Jamie pushed off of the car and began walking away, bandana slung over one shoulder, Dani said, "Where are you going?"

Jamie did not stop. "To get that engine oil."

The little frisson of fear was joined by a curdling guilt and shame. Dani ground her teeth. Her fingers tapped a staccato rhythm against her opposite rib cage, counting seams in bone. There was the banging of a truck door, a scuffling about followed by muffled swearing — ‘Mikey, hand me the - thanks, mate’ — then Jamie was striding back towards her with a squared blue bottle in one hand. 

“I’m sorry,” Dani said, when Jamie had come back into earshot. 

Already Jamie was shaking her head, not looking in Dani’s direction as she made a beeline towards the car. “What was I going to do?” she asked. “Up and leave you stranded here? For the vultures?” Jamie unscrewed the bottle and gestured with the cap towards the empty suburban street filled with sunlight and white picket fences. “It’s bloody dangerous in these parts, you know. Take my life into my own hands even dropping off the kid every day.”

Unable to help herself, Dani gave a huff of laughter. Jamie still wasn’t looking in her direction, but Dani could see the smirk from the slant of her profile as she began pouring oil in what Dani presumed was the right place. Dani watched. She loitered. She brought her hand up to her mouth, realized what she was doing, and dropped it firmly to her side again. In no time at all, Jamie straightened, screwing everything back into place and lowering the rod that held up the hood of the car so that she could drop that, too, and latch it into place by leaning atop it with one palm. The vehicle dipped over its front wheels, suspension squeaking slightly.

When Jamie turned, Dani held her breath and waited for some kind of backlash. 

Jamie patted the hood of the car. “Better take the old girl home, eh?”

Dani nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I will.”

“Wasn’t talking to you,” Jamie said, and her grin was soft. Dani stumbled for a reply, and could form none. 

When Jamie made a motion as though she was going to walk back towards her own truck, Dani blurted out, “Thank you.” 

Jamie’s footsteps faltered for a split second, but then she was continuing on her way. As she passed Dani, she said, “Good night.” 

“Night,” Dani heard herself say as if from miles away. 

 --

The drive home for the most part was uneventful; the car creaked and rattled with every sharp turn of the corner, the old air freshener hanging from her rear view mirror swung gently, and the streets were clear from the evening traffic rush. A normal drive, interspersed with the events of the last few days like a broken film reel on loop. Every single expression that crossed Jamie’s face, the things Dani said or could’ve said, the steady confidence in Jamie’s hands as they delved into her car’s engine. 

At a stoplight, Dani’s eyes strayed to the ring on her finger, the evening sun making it glitter bright. Her stomach twisted tight, and an eyedropper of uncertainty rippled through her. When the noise in her head became too loud, she flicked on the radio where the station Carson had set still played, the sound of Madonna blaring through her tinny speakers and filling the cabin. She set the volume high, and let it carry her the rest of the way home. 

Home, which happened to be a two storey house painted white with dark green shutters and a grey tiled roof, with too neat of a green lawn and a white picket fence. Eddie’s dream house. When he had finalized the deal, he'd picked her up in a rib crushing hug and spun her around, laughing. The day they finally got the keys and moved in, he had insisted on carrying her through the front door and bellowed, “Honey, I’m home!” into the empty house, the sound echoing and loud. She had laughed then, happy to see him so happy. Happy to be a part of that moment with him. Now, as she sat in her idling car in the driveway, staring up at the house, a part of her wished that he'd asked, just once, if she had liked it at all, too. 

She shook off the feeling and pressed the remote clipped to the sun visor to open the garage door and park the car inside. She sat there for a moment, listening to the radio play when the thought suddenly occurred to her — wondering if Jamie still listened to that same jarring music she used to adore. The same kind of music she would play on the boombox shared between the boys, laughing as Eddie and David winced at the aggressive sounds while Carson and Tommy nodded along. Dani particularly didn’t feel one way or the other, merely enjoyed how much fun they seemed to have. 

She cut the engine, leaving her in silence. She stepped out of the car and entered the house, debating with herself the entire way. Eddie wasn’t home yet, the house somehow emptier and colder without him there as a buffer to the long shadows cast against the walls and floors from the evening sun. There was a wariness to her entry, being alone in a house that seemed to have a will of its own, like being locked in a room with a voiceless stranger, trying to get to know one another and utterly failing. Dani set down her car keys and purse with an apologetic wince at the clatter of metal against tile. Shaking herself of the feeling that she was being watched, she went in search of Jamie's old mixtape.

She’d have to go looking for Eddie’s walkman as well, having no idea where he had placed it last. Maybe she could ask him when he came home. The thought made her pause, mid-way through shedding her heels and blazer, acid building in her stomach just at the idea of explaining why she suddenly needed to listen to a tape a decade old. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, cursing under her breath before delving deeper in the house to press play on the answering machine as she went through her evening routine instead.

The crackling sound of tinny voices accompanied her throughout the house like absent ghosts. Dani only vaguely paid attention to the words: messages from Eddie’s friends with plans for dinner parties and dates, Judy reminding them of forgotten tupperware, a tipsy Carson trying to convince them to come to his next show as music blared in the background, Eddie’s coworker reminding him of important dates, Eddie — 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice echoed through the house, thin and staticky from the machine, “I know you’ll be home before me today, so I just wanted to let you know not to get started on dinner tonight. I’ll be bringing home something. I have some great news. Love you, see you soon.”

And then the house dropped silent once again. Dani sighed, already midway through preparing leftovers from Judy. It was like a sign, a ticking clock counting down ominously, compelling her to abandon the leftovers back in the fridge and leading her towards the corner of the house where she had temporarily placed the simple wooden box without any idea of where else to put it. The idea of hiding it in the closet she shared with Eddie left her skin crawling; it had no place there, not where she already shared so much of herself with him. The attic or basement didn’t feel right either, like she was tucking away those memories, like something to be abandoned. Instead, she had placed it where other stacks of boxes were piled, unopened and forgotten, in a corner in the dining room. A place she knew Eddie hadn’t bothered to touch for weeks, too busy setting up the other vast rooms of the house. 

She twisted her hands as she was lured towards it — like a shining bright beacon, like a lighthouse on storm-battered shores — but when she turned into the dining room, she slowed, her heart plummeting to her stomach. The corner was empty. Void of any labeled cardboard boxes. Her brows furrowed as she stepped towards the corner, a cold sweat sweeping over her skin. 

“Shit,” Dani muttered, her heart crashing against her ribs, her hands clenched into fists.

She spun around on her heels, searching every corner of the room, scattered with an assortment of their shared belongings along the walls and around the long dining table. She rummaged through it all, her hands trembling, panic rising in her throat like bile. 

“Shit,” she repeated, when she came up empty, her breathing heavy.

She ran through the logical possibilities, her mind racing. Eddie decided to finally tackle the dining room. Eddie packed away the contents of the cardboard boxes. Eddie found her box. Eddie opened it to glean its contents. Eddie threw it away.

No. No, he wouldn’t do that. For all his own feelings regarding Jamie, she knew he wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t crack open and toss away the beating heart of Dani’s memories, like it was something foul and rotten. At least, that’s what she tried to tell herself, as she tore through the rest of the house, repeating it in her mind like a mantra — he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t —  her breath coming in faster and her eyes burning as she came up empty at every turn. 

It was like the house had eaten it, swallowed it whole. Hungry in its desire to consume anything that didn’t belong. That didn’t fit in. 

After fifteen minutes of searching, her eyes wild and her throat thick, she stood in the middle of the living room. A pressure formed in her chest, slow but familiar as with every shallow breath she took, along came a dull burn that spread across her chest. Dani pressed a hand hard to her breastbone, willing away the pain as her heart pounded against her palm. Dani hadn’t had an asthma attack in years. She couldn't remember the last time she even had one, always so diligent and careful. And of course, it had to be over this of all things. 

The front door clicked open. Dread pooled in her stomach at the sound of Eddie shuffling in. “Hey, I’m home!” he called. 

Dani couldn’t find the words to respond, her breath coming in too fast, too sharp. Every struggling breath pained. 

“Danielle?” Eddie called again when she didn’t respond, and then, “Danielle!” Heavy hands fell on her shoulders, and then her cheeks. “Hey, are you okay? What’s going on? Open your eyes."

Dani hadn’t realized she closed them. She flickered them open to meet Eddie’s concerned face. “Inhaler,” she finally managed to gasp, wheezing. 

He nodded, spinning around to locate her bag, digging through it and pulling out the small blue device before returning to her. He watched silently with a deep frown and thinned mouth as she inhaled her two doses, letting her breathe it in for a moment. 

“Are you okay now?” he asked softly.

She was still breathing heavily, her hands trembling around the blue device, but the low embers in her chest slowly ebbed away. The pressure that had formed a tight knot began to loosen. It was slow going, but the rescue inhaler did its job. Dani pressed a hand back to her chest and nodded, not meeting Eddie’s eyes. His shoulders visibly dropped, sighing and pulling her in towards his chest in a hug. 

“Jesus,” he muttered, “You scared me.” Dani pressed her eyes closed, unable to compel herself to wrap her arms around him. “That hasn’t happened in a long time. What happened?”

Her chest ached. Slowly, she pulled away from him, her trembling hands against his chest. “My things, Eddie,” she murmured, swallowing hard against the tremor in her voice, and finally looked up to meet his frown, “Where are my things?”

His frown deepened. “What things?”

“My box.”

Eddie’s eyes flickered between hers, bewildered. “I’m...what box?” Exhaling sharply, Dani took another step back and rubbed hard at her eyes. “I really don’t know what box you're talking about.”

“In the dining room, Eddie. It - it was a plain box.”

He stared blankly at her, blinking. “There were a lot of boxes in there,” he said slowly, as though patiently explaining to his nephew why dinosaurs didn’t exist anymore. 

Her breath started coming in fast again. “It was a wooden box with a bronze latch,” she said, desperately willing him to remember. He nudged up his glasses, his frown deepening in puzzlement and concern, visibly thinking hard. “Eddie…” she breathed, fighting back the burn in her eyes. 

A light bulb seemed to switch on in his head, his eyes going wide. “Oh!” He snapped his fingers, his mouth pulling into a smile. “Okay, yeah, hold on — just stay there.”

He abruptly disappeared deeper into the house, leaving Dani alone. She breathed slowly, rubbing at her eyes again to vanish any unfallen tears before wrapping her arms around her stomach, listening to Eddie’s footsteps vibrating through the house, down and then back up some stairs. He returned with a triumphant grin, and the sigh of relief that escaped Dani at the sight of her box in Eddie’s hands seemed to make her lungs rattle. She took the box in her grasp and pressed it close to her chest, as if she could tuck it under her ribs. Dani sniffed as she looked down at it, and slowly exhaled. 

“Thanks,” she murmured, like she hadn’t just spent the last half hour spiraling. 

Eddie’s grin slowly fell, chagrin replacing his triumph. “I’m sorry,” he said, burying his hands in his grey pantsuit, “I didn’t know what to do with it, or where to put it. So I put it in the basement.”

Dani nodded absently. The basement. Right. Nine feet below the earth, like a coffin. 

“I really am sorry,” he repeated, softer this time, a hand falling to her waist. 

“I know,” she said, and finally met his eyes, giving him a weak smile. “It’s okay.”

He grinned, warm, and said, “I do have good news, though, to make up for it.”

“Yeah?”

Eddie nodded, gestured behind him, and said, “I got us some dinner too.” Dani glanced over his shoulder where on the side table next to her bag sat a box of pizza and a bottle of wine. Eddie’s hand moved from her waist to her upper arm, gently rubbing it. “Why don’t you put that away, and I’ll tell you all about it over dinner.”

At Dani’s silent nod, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and bounded towards the kitchen with the pizza and wine in hand, but not without another grin. She barely managed to send one back, her mouth twitching at the attempt. She returned her eyes back to the box in her arms, the weight of it suddenly heavier as the exhaustion from her episode finally hit her. Dani didn’t know what to do with it now. There was no other place in the entire house she trusted. Not even her old childhood bedroom; the risk of it falling into her mother’s hands was out of the question. The glove compartment of her car wasn’t totally ideal, but she didn’t like the idea of leaving it on the backseat floor or shoving it away deep in the trunk. It would have to do for now. 

Dani returned to the kitchen where Eddie had shed his suit jacket and tie, his sleeves rolled up as he set the kitchen table with plates and wine glasses. He grinned at her. “Here we go," he said, opening the pizza box with a flourish to reveal a Hawaiian pizza. 

She hesitated for a moment. At the risk of disappointing him with the reminder that a simple veggie pizza was her favorite and that the very notion of pineapple on pizza was an affront to the senses, she offered him a weak grin. "Thanks." She cocked her head at the table, and asked, “What’s the occasion?” 

Eddie’s grin widened. “I may have gotten a little raise.”

“What?” Dani's face relaxed into a smile. “But didn’t you just recently start?”

“Yeah, I know! But they’ve apparently been really liking what I’ve been doing, and —” he paused, seemingly for dramatic effect as his eyes glinted “ — I got an in with Councilman Alan Fields.”

Dani’s eyes widened. “Eddie, that’s amazing,” she said, grasping his arm. 

“I know it’s not much for now and I still have a long way to go yet, but — “

“It’s a start,” Dani finished for him, cupping his chin. “I’m proud of you. I think this does call for some wine.”

He grinned bashfully as she dropped her hand and started towards the counter, pulling at a stubborn drawer to retrieve a corkscrew as Eddie began piling their plates with pizza. “It is a start, isn’t it. Felt like a long time coming too,” he said from behind her, as Dani huffed at the drawer, jiggling it by the handle, “And step one is dinner with Fields and his wife.”

The handle popped off at a strong tug. She blinked down at it, and then, as if now absorbing what Eddie said, she looked back at him, bewildered. “Dinner?”

“Yep, seven o’clock on Friday.”

Dani blinked at him, her stomach turning sour. “The both of us?”

“Yes,” he said, chuckling, his grin indulgent. “We have to start impressing Fields somehow. He has influence all over town, and if I get him on my side then — “ his grin turned smug “ — You may be looking at a future city councilman.”

Dani chuckled breathlessly, her cheeks aching. “That’s great,” she managed to say. 

She didn’t want to ruin this moment, not when it seemed like all of Eddie’s dreams were coming true, handed to him on a silver platter. Dani could see it happening now; she knew that on Friday, she would push down all her exhaustion from a week of teaching, and herding around twelve year olds, and the pulse of anxiety under her skin. She would put on her best dress and style her hair flawlessly, but just enough to seem modest, and play the part of the perfect golden girl turned perfect fiancée. Dani would smile too much and not enough, and Eddie would hold her hand for all the world to see the ring on her finger as if to say, “Here, world. Here we are, the golden couple.” She felt a chill settle over her skin just thinking about it, and wished desperately to feel anything else, wished that Eddie had just asked her instead of — 

“What happened there?” Eddie’s eyes darted towards her hand, his brow furrowing, gesturing towards the drawer handle she held in a tight fist. 

“Oh, um,” she chuckled again, helplessly holding up the handle for him to see, “It broke.”

He snorted. “Make that one more thing for the repair list," he said, and let out a long sigh. A hand at the base of her spine and he gently guided Dani to the table to sit as he took care of it. 

That should’ve been the end of it, the end of the conversation as wine was finally poured and the kitchen radio switched on low as they sat down to eat. She hoped for it — to be given the space to breathe in between sips of wine and let her shoulders sink against the back of her chair, letting her frustrations and the exhaustion from her day to just sink away. Just for a little bit, just long enough for her to let her mask slip until she had to once again pull on the ropes to part the stage curtains open. But Eddie insisted on clinking their glasses together, a curious glint in his eyes as he sipped from his wine. 

“I was thinking,” he started, setting his glass down. A ball of lead sank in Dani’s stomach.

“Yeah?” She took another heady sip. 

“With just a little more money coming in, we could finally afford to start fixing up the place. Like, actually fixing it,” he said, leaning forward on the table, “And just with everything seeming to come together, you could take the lead on it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted more time for some hobbies? This is a great opportunity to start. Add a splash of color to the place.”

Dani blinked at him. There wasn’t something right, with the way he was looking at her so expectantly, so pleased with himself. “I don’t have the time for that, Eddie,” she reiterated. 

“Well, obviously,” he said, grinning boyishly, “Not until after you stop working at least.”

Dani stared, her breath shallow, her nails digging into her palms in her lap. Remnants of the indignant fire from earlier, the rush of panic, swelled within her. “I’m not quitting my job, Eddie,” she said, her back ramrod straight. 

He frowned. “Wasn’t that part of the plan?”

“No.”

Eddie leaned back, his expression puzzled, and said, “Oh, I thought we agreed — “

“We didn’t,” she said with more bite than she expected. More than Eddie expected. His eyes went slightly wide, and he at least had the decency to look abashed, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I just thought — the other day you were saying you weren’t looking forward to the parent-teacher conference. I thought it could be good for you, good for us. Especially when — ”

“Dealing with parents is one thing. Kids are another,” she said, the fire quickly leaving her. She sighed. “I love my job. I love my kids. I love how I’m able to help shape their minds and their futures. I don’t want to give that up.”

Not for anything, she didn't say out loud, Not even you.

Leaning his elbows back on the table, Eddie smiled slowly at her, and nodded. “Okay,” he said. A look crossed his face, something between hopeful and knowing. It did nothing to help the whirlpool of dread twisting Dani’s stomach, making her feel sick. “Maybe in the future. Just think about it?”

Dani could do nothing but stare at him. It was like what she said went into one ear and out the other, like it was already written in stone. The next step in fulfilling his dreams, and Dani was just along for the ride, molded and shaped to his expectations. Dani often wondered how strange it was to care for someone so much who loved merely a shadow of her. 

Dani took another sip of her wine, her gaze fixed on her mostly untouched pizza, appetite gone. She should stand her ground, dig her heels in. Set the record straight. Instead, she reset her mask, pulled the rope to part the stage curtains, and tied the other end around her neck. She nodded. 

His face brightened into a smile. Seemingly pleased with the outcome of his wishes coming true, he returned to his pizza. Dani followed suit, forcing down the food, feeling like she could choke on it. 

“In other good news,” Eddie said around bites, his expression vaguely curious, “Did you hear who moved back into town recently?”

“I did,” she said, nodding, not meeting his eyes. “Your mom mention it?”

“Yeah. You must be happy about that.”

Dani didn’t know how to respond to that. Not with the way her skin felt jittery at even the thought of being in the same room as Jamie, and certainly not with the tension just barely underlying Eddie’s voice. Her eyes darted up, catching him staring at her with an expression that to anyone else would seem as passing curiosity, but to Dani, was careful scrutiny. A part of her couldn’t truly fault him for it, after all he had borne witness to the aftermath of it all. But the other part of Dani, the part that never knew how to stop missing Jamie, tensed her shoulders and clenched her teeth, nodding as her eyes darted away and she sipped her wine. 

“I am,” she said, the words surprisingly feeling almost true. “I saw her earlier today, actually. At the school.”

He frowned. “At school?”

“Mikey’s one of my students,” she said. Eddie blinked at her, his expression mystified. “Jamie’s little brother?”

“Oh,” he said, and chuckled. “Wow. Time flies, huh? Still remember him when he was just a baby. Is he anything like how Jamie was? Causing any trouble?”

Dani tensed. “Jamie was a good kid.”

Eddie gave her a look. “Really?”

She fought back a frown, exhaustion settling deeper into her bones. “Anyway, Mikey’s a good kid,” she continued, “Really smart. Quiet. Shy.”

“Is that even possible? A shy Taylor?”

Dani shot him a glare. He backed down with a chuckle and his hands raised. “All right, I’ll take your word for it.”

It was a little easier, after that. Less like the walls of the kitchen were closing in on her, and more like she could finally breathe as Eddie moved on from conversation topics that left her feeling like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. They talked about their work day instead; how Eddie came to meet Alan Fields, one of the more prominent councilmen in town, and Dani offered anecdotes of her own, the funny things kids said, and how good they’d been. She didn’t mention the car. Not yet. She briefly entertained the idea that she could somehow sneak the car over to the mechanic without Eddie knowing, but realized she wouldn’t know how to explain away the hundreds of dollars missing from the bank, spent on repairing it.  

Dinner flew by fast. Dani washed down the rest of her pizza with another glass of wine. She even managed to laugh with Eddie when she hiccuped after the last sip. He grinned fondly at her, as she gathered their dishes and brought them to the sink to clean them. With her hands sudsy, the two glasses of wine had loosened her shoulders just enough to relax and sway to the radio, set to some oldies station. It took her a moment, as she rinsed a plate while listening to a smooth voice croon, to remember her plight from earlier. The sheer fear and desperation, looking for her box of Jamie’s things. The reason why she went searching in the first place. Just as Dani felt her face fall, hands wrapped around her waist. 

“Leave that,” Eddie said, pressing his temple against her own, his body enveloping her from behind. 

She swallowed hard, managing to refrain from tensing in his arms. “They’re not going to clean themselves,” she said, proud at how steady she kept her voice. 

Eddie began to sway them both along to the music, and said, “They can be done in the morning.” He pressed a telling kiss just below her ear. 

Dani shivered, but for all the wrong reasons. She felt Eddie grin against her skin, chuckling. Distantly, Dani wondered if he could also hear her heart pounding, the blood rushing through her ears. The way her body wanted to curl away from him and up into herself. If she were to glance down at the silver tap, she’d see their distorted forms, pulled in all the wrong directions as they gently swayed. 

“Eddie…” she stumbled out. 

“Come on, leave it,” he insisted, pressing another kiss to her shoulder, “I know I upset you today. I want to make it up to you.”

She could say no, like she’d done before. Citing exhaustion, sleepiness, a headache. She could say she felt like she was slowly being digested within these walls, until inevitably, all that would remain would be the shadow Eddie so loved. 

Would he still love her then? When all that would be left of her to hold would be a shell, a ghost of a person? Would he care? Would Jamie?

The thought was so abrupt and cutting, Dani pressed her eyes shut and bit hard at her lip, her hands stilling under the running water as a dull ache spread across her chest. 

Clenching her teeth painfully, and feeling the skin of her cheeks flush in a fit of indignation, Dani swept the thought away. His arms were warm around her, safe and strong as they’d always been. He still smelt of the same sharp cologne she had gifted him last year. She could want this, she thought faintly. This could be her, if she just tucked away everything else. The perfect loving wife. The girl next door turned childhood best friend turned childhood sweetheart. She wanted this, didn’t she? All those years ago, heartbroken and hollowed out, when she finally said yes, and then never stopped.

Somehow, it didn’t burst out of her. Not when Eddie pressed another soft kiss to the crook of her neck. Not when she turned off the tap and spun in his arms to rake her wet hands through his hair, smiling weakly into a kiss. 

Dani could want this. She could be this. 

 --

The arm slung across her waist felt like an anvil. Holding her down into the too soft sheets and bedding until it felt like she was sinking right into it. There was a heaviness to Dani’s body that she couldn’t shake. She hadn’t moved in over an hour. An hour and thirty seven minutes to be exact. She knew. She counted, her eyes unmoving from her bedside alarm clock as she lay on her back, slowly coming back to her body, still as stone, watching the red numbers flicker minute by minute until it read 12:03am. 

The arm moved, shifting. Dani held her breath as she felt the bed gently shake from the twisting movements next to her. And then it pulled away, the arm lifting from her waist to disappear into the darkness next to her like a phantom. She exhaled slowly, and swallowed hard past the thickness in her throat. 

Dani blinked. 12:04am. 

Slowly, she finally turned away from the alarm clock, her neck screaming at her from holding the position for so long. She winced and slowly sat up, holding the sheets up to her chest. The air was cold against the skin of her back, sending a shiver down her spine. Dani welcomed it, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her forehead on them, her body feeling overheated as if a fever was expelling some sickness from her. 

The bed shifted again along with the sound of a soft sigh. Dani raised her head at the motion and finally turned her gaze to the sleeping form on her left where Eddie lay flat on his stomach, his head twisted away from her, his torso rising and falling so slowly she’d almost think he wasn’t breathing at all. Dani knew, if there was any more light in the room beyond the fair trails of moonlight, she would find a star map of beauty marks across his skin. Any other person, any other woman who deeply loved their fiancé would slide closer, pressing the length of their worn and satisfied body next to Eddie’s and would trace those star maps with the tip of their finger. Instead, Dani stared at him, drained and heavy. 

He always slept so deeply after, like all the weight of his love and desire condensed into a single point, taking and taking from her, until he was full and sated, collapsing half on top of her. He’d lay there as his breaths would eventually even out and deepen, slowly pulling away, so sure, so confident that Dani felt the same. There were some occasions Dani could force herself to, taking it for herself in a way that always left him surprised, wanting so much to morph herself into this mask that she’d almost convince herself at the height of it. But, it was an occurrence that was rarer than being struck by lightning, and she’d always feel so empty afterwards. And then there were nights like this — grateful to the dark shadows to conceal her. Grateful that he never looked her in the eye and asked. 

Dani finally pulled away from the bed, silently leaving the too warm sheets, shivering in the dark. She quickly pulled on nearby clothes — a nightgown and a thin robe — and quietly made her way out of the room, stepping over loose floorboards. She made her way downstairs, her fingers skimming the walls to guide her way in the dark, listening to the house creak and groan, settling like a weary creature. She padded her way through to the kitchen, the floor cool beneath her feet, making a beeline to where they left the bottle of wine on the counter. 

Grabbing the bottle in a white-knuckled fist, pulling out the cork and taking a long swig. The house maneuvered her through the shadows, stumbling lightly in the dark, and all Dani could do was watch her own actions, divorced from her own perspective. Watch as she retrieved her keys from the side table and made her way to the garage, generously sipping at wine. When there was nothing left in the bottle, she left it on the floor near the garage entrance to open the passenger door of her car and fall heavily inside, closing it shut just a little too hard in the overbearing silence of the night. 

It was cold, but comforting inside. The air felt different in the cabin. Thinner, dustier, lived in and familiar. For a moment, she rested her head against the headrest and let her eyes slip shut, enjoying the cold and the quiet. She opened her eyes and with a sigh, she reached over to open the glove compartment, carefully pulling out the wooden box to rest on the passenger seat.

Slowly lifting it open, she stared at the contents inside, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. The fear she had felt earlier today had left its residue on her, like chalk dust. It pressed hard against her chest and behind her eyes until they burned as she skimmed her hands over the faded t-shirt. Expelling a trembling exhale, Dani carefully dug through the contents until she unearthed the cassette tape and turned it over in her lap. It appeared physically undamaged, though nothing could be said to what dust and age had done to it over time. Dani didn’t even remember what songs Jamie had cultivated for her, just the distant memory of side A being songs she chose to Dani’s tastes, and side B being more to her own. 

There was only one way to listen to it now. Even with Dani’s confidence of Eddie’s deep slumber and the thickness of the walls of the house, there was still a part of her anxious of the thought of Eddie waking up to find her delving through childhood memories as if shamefully flipping through a dirty magazine. Or worse, thinking she was running away in the dead of night. 

The thought made her pause. It’d be so simple. To just pack a bag, and take off, speeding her way out of town and leaving everything behind to see the world like any small town youth dreamed of doing. It sounded so easy, and so astronomically unthinkable. 

Shaking it off, Dani tensed her shoulders and twisted the engine on, revving it to life. It shuddered and groaned, but remained on with no tell-tale sign of smoke or questionable smells. Dani exhaled slowly, and fiddled with the tape again before finally pushing it in the player and pressed rewind for good measure. She listened to it wind up and finally click to a stop, the sound unusually loud in the silent cabin, ominous and thrilling. 

She swallowed hard and licked her lips, pressing play. 

The sound of layered voices in harmony with sparse melodious instruments filled the cabin, tinny and crackling through the old stereo and the age of the tape. Her mouth dropped open, her breath trapped in her chest. Gradually, Dani sank back into the seat as a voice joined in, a shiver creeping down her spine. Dani couldn’t count the years she hadn’t heard this song, it almost felt like hearing it all over again for the first time, the memory of it crashing into her like a wave. 

Dani curled up on herself, twisting just enough in the seat to pull her knees to her chest and wrap her arms around her legs, a thickness growing in her throat, the pressure building behind her eyes. She bit her lip hard to fight it off, desperately willing it away — the pain borne of being stripped away down to that old exposed nerve. Prodded at and scarred. A wound opened and healed over so many times, it was a wonder Dani remained so recognizable. 

But even as the first song ended and a familiar sparse guitar filled the car, the pain of her teeth pressed against her lip and her nails digging into her palm couldn’t stop the tears spilling down her cheeks. Dani trembled as she exhaled deeply, her breath wobbling, curling further into the seat and resting her head against the crackling leather. 

Five more minutes, she told herself. Five more minutes, and then she’d seal it all away again. She had managed to live with everything else now for years, she could manage another couple more. Dani had grown used to it. Tucking away the memories and the tears, the lost pieces — all for something that didn’t exist anymore.

 --

Parent teacher conferences certainly weren't the highlight of Dani's school year. She was good with kids. Not parents. Especially not parents who she grew up with, and who she remembered from when they attended this very same school together. Some of them had grown up a bit since then, but only some. Most still interacted with her as if talking to a cardboard cut out person, all plastic smiles and tacit social acceptance that they would never speak of times past.

It was rare that anyone new came to live in town at all. Not unless they used North Liberty as a sleeper suburb for the factory plant a good hour drive southeast. Most people who lived here did so all their lives. Just like their parents had. And their parents before them. And even those who tried to venture away somehow found themselves wending back. Like a labyrinth with no exits. Like a glue trap that held one fast by the ankles.

Dani was using the edge of a pen to scrape away some glue that one of her students had gotten onto their desk during the day. The dried glue came away in gouges. She could have left it for the janitor, but he had enough on his plate and she had time before the next set of parents walked into her classroom.

Honestly, this was the last time she allowed glue in class. It would join glitter on the 'banned for life' list.

There was a polite rap of knuckles on the open door behind her.

Without looking up, Dani said, "Come in!" and gave the glob of glue a few last scrapes with the pen before giving up and turning around with a sigh. "Sorry about that, I was just -"

She froze. Jamie was leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, watching silently. She still wore her work clothes, but she had left her jacket behind, and the sleeves of her jumpsuit were rolled up so that the definition of her bare arms was stark against the canvas material.

"I - uh -" Dani used the pen to gesture weakly towards the student's desk. "There was a glue disaster."

Jamie tilted her head and said, "Acetone."

Dani blinked. "What?"

"You should use acetone," said Jamie. "Take it right off. No elbow grease required."

"Oh. Right. And I'd - I'd get that where?"

In answer, Jamie pushed herself away from the door frame and made her way through the maze of desks until she stood before her. Dani watched her approach with some alarm, not knowing what was coming. And to think she used to know Jamie so well she could tell what she was thinking just from the barest crease of her eyes.

Jamie stopped and made a small gesture with her hand. "Let me see your fingers."

Completely befuddled, Dani set down the pen and lifted both hands for inspection. Jamie cocked her head and nodded as though that confirmed everything.

"Looks like you've got the solution at home already," Jamie said, meeting her gaze with a soft smile. "Nail polish remover. I'm talking about nail polish remover."

Dani glanced down at her hands. She normally didn't bother painting her nails; it was only a matter of time until she chewed them to bits again. Yesterday evening however she had idly applied a few coats of polish to her nails while sitting with Eddie on the couch, the television screen flickering and sending shadows dancing along the walls.

Curling her fingers against her palms, Dani made a stiff gesture towards her own desk at the head of the classroom. "Of course. Thanks. Shall we -?"

Jamie went without further comment. She had slouched in the chair opposite Dani's desk while Dani lowered herself carefully into her own seat.

"Right. So," said Jamie, her leg bouncing restlessly. "Never done one of these before. What're we talking about exactly?"

Dani pulled a file towards her from across the desk. "We're here to talk about Mikey. His progress. How he's doing. Et cetera."

Jamie nodded. Her gaze roved across the classroom, wandering here and there. She lingered upon the various fixtures of the room in bored contemplation. "You reckon he's settling in all right?"

Dani shrugged. "Better than you did."

A rueful grin was Jamie's reply. "Well, that's not very hard, is it?"

Dani smiled back at her. "No." She opened the folder and quickly flipped through a few pages. "There haven't been any incidents that stand out to me so far. Regarding him fitting in, I mean. Nobody's picked on him or anything, is what I'm saying."

Jamie nodded. "Glad to hear it."

"He's a good kid," Dani said.

"Smarter than I'll ever be."

"Now, I didn't say that."

"True though," Jamie said with self-deprecating flair. “What about his grades?"

Dani plucked at the corner of a page, lifting it up so she could see the paper beneath. "Exemplary, to be honest. His class participation is a bit lacking, but otherwise he's gotten nothing but top marks so far."

"Need me to talk to him about speaking up more in class?"

Dani shook her head and let the page fall back down. "No. Not really. I think that will come in time as he grows more comfortable."

"Right." Jamie was looking directly at her now, and Dani almost wished she would go back to studying the room's contents instead. "Anything else?"

It was difficult not to fidget beneath the weight of Jamie's gaze. Dani found herself shuffling a few of the papers nervously, and forced her hands to go still. "There is one thing, actually," Dani said.

Jamie arched an eyebrow. "Oh?" she said warily.

"It's not - It's not like that," said Dani and she leaned forward in her seat, resting her weight upon her forearms. "I was actually wanting to talk to you about the possibility of Mikey attending some special math courses."

Jamie's brow furrowed. "Why? I thought you just said his grades were fine? Top marks, even."

"No, I'm -" Dani cleared her throat to collect herself somewhat before continuing. "I'm talking about advanced courses. He seems to like math. A lot, actually. And I'd like to encourage that, rather than risk him becoming bored with things he's already mastered."

If anything, Jamie seemed taken aback by this news, sitting upright. "Will that be a lot more work for him?" she asked slowly.

Dani shook her head. "The class is after school. Held in the library for an extra hour. But I won't be giving him homework for regular math, so it should all come out in the wash."

"Huh." Jamie blinked and sat back further in her seat. "All right, then. I'll have a chat with him tonight. See what he thinks."

"Great," Dani said, and her own smile felt plasticky this time.

"If he doesn't want to do it, I won't force him," said Jamie.

"That's okay. He doesn't have to, if he doesn't want to."

"All right."

Silence settled over them. Dani was staring, fingers tracing the sharp edge of the folder, while Jamie waited.

"That it?" Jamie asked after the seconds had ticked by with neither of them speaking.

Startled by the abruptness of her voice, Dani closed the folder. "Yeah. Yeah, that's - that's it!"

Jamie gave her an odd look, clearly waiting for her to say something, but Dani's mouth was dry, and she had another set of parents coming in fifteen minutes, and she hadn't expected this to go so fast, and -

"Guess I'll be off, then." Jamie stood and jammed her hands into the pockets of her jumpsuit, while Dani pushed back her own chair to rise to her feet as well.

"Of course. Have a -" Dani gestured awkwardly towards the exit. "Have a good rest of your day."

“See you around.” 

Jamie was at the door before Dani finally worked up the courage to blurt out, “Do you -? Do you want to grab a coffee sometime? With me?”

Jamie paused and turned in the doorway. "You Yanks and your coffee." Jamie shook her head but she was smiling. "Sure, but I work everyday except Sunday."

"That's fine,” Dani said, hand on the desk as if to ground herself. “We can meet Sunday morning?"

"Don't you have church?"

"They'll be fine without me for one service. Besides, I -” Dani said, “- I want to catch up.” 

Jamie’s smile flickered briefly, and when it returned she appeared reserved, as though she had taken a step further away. In the end all she said was, “Sounds like a plan. Ten?”

Dani nodded. “Ten’s great.”

With one final backward glance, Jamie left. It was as though all the air rushed back into the room in her absence. As though Dani could finally breathe properly again. She dropped back down into her seat, which creaked beneath her weight, feeling dazed, a faint buzzing beneath her skin. 

Footsteps down the hall, and Dani’s head jerked. “Oh! You’re early!” she said, rising to her feet and extending her hand to the latest set of parents. All plastic smiles again and false pleasantries. “Horace. Clara. How nice to see you. Please, sit.” 

 --

Dani arrived at the cafe late. She had parked her car further along down a side lane in town while running a quick errand at the local pharmacy. The car had been acting up on the drive in and she didn't want to risk it breaking down again along the way. So, she turned over her wrist to check her watch, and walked as briskly as she could without outright jogging. By the time she arrived at the cafe, she was slightly out of breath and raking her fingers through her hair to fix how windswept she felt.

She paused at the entrance to drop a hand into her bag just to check that she still had her emergency inhaler. When she had assured herself that it was there, she pushed open the door and stepped inside.

The cafe was cooler than the air outside. As the door slowly creaked shut behind her, Dani turned her head, perusing the empty tables. Most people at this time of day would be at their local church, and it had felt odd even running chores with so few others on the street. Yet sure enough, Jamie was seated in the far corner at a table with a little handwritten reserved placard atop it. Shrugging at the strap of her handbag, Dani steadied her breathing and walked over.

"Sorry," said Dani. "Car troubles. Again."

Jamie remained in her seat as Dani sat across from her. "No problem," she said. "Did you get the seal fixed?"

Dani nodded and dropped her bag onto one of the spare seats. "Yeah. I did. It's something new now."

"Hmm," said Jamie, looking thoughtful. Then, she shrugged and handed over one of the menus on the table. 

"Recommend anything here, to be honest. Can't go wrong with Owen's food. Trust me."

Dani took the menu, hesitating when she heard a voice call out from the kitchens in a pleasant but surprising English accent, "I heard that!"

Jamie lifted her voice, but kept her gaze fixed on her own menu. "No, you didn't! And stop eavesdropping!"

A man stuck his head through a window cut in the wall between the kitchen and the main room. His moustache twitched in a tell-tale smile, and his dark eyes gleamed with a mischievous light behind thick spectacles. "You know I never pass up the opportunity to bask in praise."

"I'm fresh out of praises today," said Jamie, aiming a pointed glower at him over the top of her menu.

"Oh, forgive me," he said, not sounding the least bit sorry. "Interrupting your date, am I?"

"Hardly," Jamie replied dryly.

Dani's shoulders stiffened. She jerked the menu up slightly higher, hoping to hide the widening of her eyes.

Jamie noticed. Of course, Jamie noticed. “He’s joking,” Jamie said, then lifted her voice so he could hear. “And being a pillock about it, too!”

Behind her, Dani could hear a chuckle, and then the sound of fading footsteps as he — Owen, presumably — went back to puttering around in the kitchen.

Dani cleared her throat. "I know that." When Jamie gave her a questioning glance, Dani continued, "That he was joking. I know."

It was a godsend that there were no other patrons, otherwise Dani might have panicked at the mere insinuation that she was — but, there was no one to listen in. Just a joke. Nothing she needed to worry about.

Those footsteps had returned, and Owen stood beside their table, tucking a pen behind his ear. His striped apron was immaculate, and his sleeves rolled up just below the elbow, but there was a streak of flour at his jawline from where his white-smudged fingertips had brushed. "Tell me," he said, "What can I get you ladies this fine morning?"

Jamie handed over the menu to him. "A pot of English breakfast and poached eggs on toast for me, thanks."

“A classic,” he murmured with an appreciative nod, then turned his attention to Dani, his expression expectant. 

"The omelette and a coffee, please," Dani said.

Owen took her menu as well. "What kind of coffee?"

"Uh -" Dani said eloquently. "The kind with beans in it?"

"Drip coffee?"

"Yes?" she said with a wince at her own ignorance.

"Thank god," Owen sounded relieved. "My barista is at church and I have no idea how to operate that thing." He gestured with the menus towards a gleaming brushed chrome coffee machine that came with its own conical grinder filled with fresh beans. Then he lifted the menus to the side of his mouth and whispered as though the machine might be listening to them, "I think it's sentient. And I know it hates me."

Dani bit at her lower lip to keep a snort of laughter at bay. Owen gave her a parting wink, then strode off towards the kitchens to put together their order. When she turned in her seat, it was to find Jamie watching her with a fond smile that made Dani’s breath catch in her throat. Owen returning with their drinks gave Dani the opportunity to regroup. She straightened in her seat and thanked him with a smile.

"So." Dani reached for the milk and sugar that came with both their drinks. "What brought you back?"

"Right. Straight to it, then."

"I'm - I didn't -"

"No, no," Jamie shook her head. She poured a bit of tea into her cup, only to set the pot back down when the colour wasn't dark enough for her liking. "You know me. Direct is how I prefer it."

Dani held the mug of coffee between her hands despite the burn through a layer of porcelain. "It's just - ten years is a long time to suddenly make a reappearance."

"Maybe I like the attention," Jamie drawled.

Dani gave her a look.

Making a face, Jamie poured herself a cup of tea. "Or maybe not."

She let the silence stretch between them as Jamie poured a splash of milk into her cup. Jamie sipped at her tea and for a long moment said nothing. Then she shrugged, "Dunno. Seemed like a good idea. A fresh start." She gave a rueful huff of laughter. "Must've been what Nan felt like when she first brought me here. A nothing place in the middle of nowhere. Clean slate. All that bullshit."

Dani's thumb traced the handle of the cup. She worried her lower lip between her teeth, building up the courage to admit, "It's good to see you again."

"Could've fooled me," said Jamie, but she was smirking. 

Dani winced. "Sorry." 

"S'alright. I don't blame you." Jamie set down her cup to let the tea cool. "It's good to see you, too."

Something in Dani's chest unspooled upon hearing that. Like finally breathing in a lungful of air after years of a hand around her throat. She could feel her shoulders relax, the tension running out like a thread pulled from the ragged edge of a sweater.

"And how're you?" Jamie asked. "Got that teaching job, like you always wanted. Well done."

Dani's face softened into a smile. "Thanks."

"How long have you been teaching at the school?"

"About three years now."

"Don't know how you have the patience." Jamie leaned her elbows on the table. "Some days I feel mad just having to deal with one. Meanwhile, you've got a whole classroom of the little buggers."

Dani laughed. "You grow to love them. Even the worst ones."

Jamie scoffed. "Pull the other one."

"I'm serious."

"Yeah?" said Jamie, her eyes glinting as she grinned. "Which was the worst you've ever had?"

"Oh, my god," Dani lowered her voice and began the tale of the Willoughby boy in her second year of teaching. By the time she was done, Jamie's expression was a mixture of horrified and amused.

"I would've killed him," Jamie said. "And the world would’ve better off without a possessed devil child."

"And risk the wrath of old lady Willoughby? No, thank you." Dani lifted her mug of coffee for a sip. "But he honestly wasn't that bad all the time. Just...most of the time."

"Have you ever seen the kid step inside a church?" Jamie asked.

Dani shook her head. "Nope."

Jamie made a gesture with her hand as though that proved her point.

“Oh, like you were the best behaved child on the planet.”

“Fuck no. Nan was a saint in retrospect.” Then Jamie added, “An absolute bitch, too. But still.”

Owen reappeared before Dani could reply, and he placed two dishes down on the table in front of them. Dani thanked him, while Jamie murmured a belated "Cheers, mate," before picking up her cutlery.

"If you need anything else," he said, "I'll be the one in the back, singing along to the radio before the rest of my staff can return and tell me how off-key I sound. Bon appetit."

Shortly after he left, Dani could indeed hear a radio being turned up in the other room. Jamie shook her head but did nothing to hide her smile.

"I can see why this place is so popular," Dani said, utensils in hand so she could dig into her own meal. "New faces don't tend to do that well here."

"Food's not shite either," Jamie said.

Mouth full, Dani made an affirmative noise and nodded her agreement.

"So, did you ever make it out of state like you always wanted?" Jamie asked, gesturing with her knife while she spoke. "See the world? Backpack across Europe?"

Dani's chewing slowed. After swallowing, she shook her head. "Not really, no. I ended up attending the University of Iowa, and — well, I guess things just went from there. Came back home. Got a job."

"All the way to Iowa City? The bustling metropolis itself."

"I'd still like to," said Dani. "Travel, I mean. I'm not sure about the backpacking part anymore. Maybe a rental car instead."

"Fancy," Jamie said. "Not missing out on much, really. At least, not the part of Europe that's the UK."

"I thought you never made it to the continent?"

"Yeah, that's right." Jamie paused to drink some more tea. "Still know it's better than England, though."

"Your patriotism is as strong as ever, I see," Dani said with a grin.

"Must be all the time I've spent here." Jamie winked at her and Dani laughed softly. "Went back for a few years when I turned eighteen," Jamie continued. "Saw my older brother and my dad."

Hearing that, Dani's knife and fork went still against the plate. Her eyes darted up, but Jamie was focused on cutting up her own food. "And how'd that go?" Dani asked carefully.

"Badly," said Jamie, and there wasn't the hint of a smile now. "Dad was disinterested. Denny and I almost killed each other. I ran off to live in East London. Had a bit of a brush up with Her Majesty's finest swineherd. Got my act together. Got Mikey back. Came here."

Jamie's hands were tight around her cutlery, and her voice was clipped. Dani watched her, knowing there was more to that story than Jamie would tell. Not today, at least.

"Sounds like fun," said Dani, spearing a bit of omelette on her fork and lifting it to her mouth for a bite.

"About as fun as your story, I reckon," Jamie said. "Did Ed go to the same university, too?"

It felt like some sort of trap. A trick question. As though Jamie already knew the answer and was asking only to make a point. Dani nodded. “Yeah. He did.”

"How many times did he ask you to marry him before you finally caved?"

Dani shot her an exasperated look. "It's not like that."

"Isn't it?"

Dani took a sip of coffee to avoid answering for as long as possible. After a lengthy pause she muttered around the lip of the cup, "Five times."

"That all? Huh."

“Most of them don’t count,” Dani insisted. “We were kids.”

“Oh, I remember,” said Jamie, and her tone gentled. “And things are good?”

“Yeah. Great,” said Dani, setting down her coffee so she could pick at her food rather than meet Jamie’s piercing gaze. “Perfect. Things are perfect.”

Jamie’s eyebrows rose, but she said nothing. Jamie, who hated being lied to. Jamie, who was as keen-nosed for the truth as a sleuthhound with the scent of blood. Dani felt a thrill of anticipation race up her spine, and she readied herself for whatever pointed question Jamie would lob in her direction with surgical precision.

In the end all Jamie said was, “Judy must’ve been over the moon. She finally gets that daughter she always wanted.” 

Dani didn't know what to say to that. She picked at her food, then hummed and said, "Yeah. Though we basically were that for years, until -"

Across the table, Jamie went stock still. When Dani glanced up at her, Jamie's expression was wary, as if waiting for an incoming blow.

Dani set down her cutlery against the edge of her plate with a clink of metal against earthenware. "Do you know how I found out that you'd gone?" she asked quietly, and didn't wait for an answer. "I came over to your house, and your neighbor told me."

She didn't tell Jamie about how she had knocked at the door, about how she had sat around for nearly an hour, thinking that Jamie would be back any moment, about how the neighbor had found her there. ‘Didn't you hear? Oh, geeze. I don't know how to break it to you kid, but -’

Now, Jamie sat across from her, refusing to meet her eye, pretending to be engrossed with pouring out the last dregs of loose leaf tea from the pot. When it became clear that Dani wasn't going to throw her a bone — not this time, not about this — Jamie said stiffly, "Wasn't like I was given much time to say my goodbyes. Child protection services can move pretty quick, when they want to. Barely had time to pack my bags, truth be told."

Dani opened her mouth to speak, but a bell chimed behind them, and her head turned. Someone had entered the cafe and was walking into the kitchen with smiles and apologies to Owen for being late. More people followed, trickling in from the street, hoping for a fortifying brunch after the Sunday service. It wouldn't be long until the tables filled up. Someone recognised Dani and waved at her. She prayed her smile in return didn't resemble a grimace.

"Excuse me," Jamie murmured, pushing her chair back and rising to her feet.

Dani blinked and turned back to face her. "Oh. Where -?"

"Won't be a moment. Just going to the loo."

She half expected Jamie to not return. Maybe she would make a run for it. Scramble out a rear window and sprint all the way home. Dani pushed her plate further away, appetite gone.

True to her word however, Jamie returned not a few minutes later, but she did not sit back down. "C'mon," she said. "Let's get some fresh air."

Dani stood. She slung her bag over one shoulder and opened it to pull out her wallet.

Jamie waved her away. "No need for that."

"But we need to pay," Dani said, pointing to the till, where a young man was taking orders.

"Already handled," said Jamie. She jerked her head towards the exit, where a line was beginning to form.

Hesitant, Dani stuffed her wallet back into her handbag. As they left, a few others took notice and tried to strike up a conversation. There were remarks about how they noticed her missing at church, and they’d wondered if she had been feeling ill. Dani shook her head and smiled and inched her way out of the cafe without being roped into another cup of coffee. Though it was a narrow escape. 

When they had successfully managed to extricate themselves and were wandering down the street, Dani murmured, "Thank you for breakfast."

"No problem," said Jamie. "Where are you parked?"

Dani gestured further up the street. "Pretty far, actually. About ten minutes that way."

"I'll walk you back."

"You don't have to."

"Yeah, but I want to." Jamie shot her a roguish grin. "Not much else to do on my Sundays except hang out with the kid. And you know how siblings are. We get on each others' nerves at the drop of a hat."

"You could've brought him along," Dani said. "He didn't have to stay at home alone."

Jamie shrugged. "He likes it. Means he gets to watch reruns while I'm gone."

"Quite the Wonder Woman fan, I saw."

"Christ," said Jamie, rolling her eyes. "And — what's the one called? Star Hike? Star Something?"

"Star Trek?"

"Whatever. He won't shut up about it. At least Lynda Carter is easy on the eyes."

Dani had to tuck her thumbs into her fists and refrain from agreeing. She steered the topic towards safer waters, and Jamie seemed all too happy to talk about Mikey. They walked, taking their time. And something seethed in Dani's stomach the more they avoided talking about anything of substance. As if they could just pretend everything was fine. It galled, and every word seemed to turn a key like loading a spring, coiling it taut.

By the time they arrived at her car — parked in a quiet side alley beside the pharmacy, tucked away from the main street  — Dani already gripped her keys in her fist. She offered Jamie a tight smile, "I'll see you later, then."

And the worst part was, Jamie was unreadable again. Just as she had been the whole walk. She leaned her shoulder against the brick cladding of the pharmacy's outer wall and nodded. "'Course," she said, but remained standing there, watching.

For a moment Dani met her gaze, silently daring her to say something — anything, so long as it was actually something — before she unlocked her car and lowered herself into the driver's seat. When she turned the key in the ignition, the engine sputtered and refused to catch.

"Not now," Dani muttered to herself. Her eyes darted to the window, to where Jamie stood witness, and she turned the key again. "Shit."

Jamie's voice was slightly muffled through a layer of glass. "Let me have another look."

Yanking open the door and stepping out, Dani said, "No. I'll call a tow this time. The pharmacy has a phone I can -"

Except Jamie was already leaning across her, reaching into the car to pop the hood. "It's fine. Really."

Dani shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jamie -"

"I can fix it."

"You can't."

"You haven't seen me with a spanner, yet," Jamie said, and she grinned over her shoulder as her fingers sought the latch to lift the hood of the car.

"No, I'm saying — you can't."

Something in her tone made Jamie pause. Dani lowered her hand, only to clench it into a fist, pushing down hard on the knuckle of her thumb. She swallowed, trying to tamp down the nerves that made her feel like she was half-crawling out of her own skin. All that circling around one another — veiled pleasantries and wary exchange of glances — like being inexorably drawn down by the gravity of the very thing neither of them had the courage to voice. 

“I don’t -” Dani started to say, and had to try again when her voice slipped. “I don’t want you to fix my car.” 

Jamie cocked an eyebrow, straightening slowly from where she had been leaning over. "Then what do you want?"

"I want you -" said Dani shakily, "- to talk to me. Actually talk to me."

"Thought I was doing a pretty good job of it until now." Jamie was still grinning, as if with a well-timed joke she might make this whole conversation never happen.

Shaking her head, Dani breathed, "Stop. Just stop.”

“Stop what?” 

“Stop acting like everything's fine. Like this -” Dani gestured between the two of them with sharp little movements “- is fine. Because it's not. And I know you know it."

Jamie’s hand was balanced on the top of the car door, holding it open. She stepped back and shut it, not loudly but firmly. “What’s there to say?”

“You come back after all this time, and you don’t even acknowledge that - that -” Dani grasped for the right words, but the feeling danced just out of reach of articulation, like catching the edge of a bowl on a high shelf with the very tips of her fingers. “Ruth died.”

Jamie’s jaw went tight. “Yeah, I remember. Found her myself, even, if you recall.” 

"And then suddenly you were just -" Dani lifted her hand only to let it drop back to her side "- gone! No goodbye! No note! And I - I had to go on like everything was okay, when it wasn't. Nothing was okay. I wasn't okay.”

“And I was?” 

“No!” Dani said. “That’s not -!”

“You think all this happened because I wanted it?” Jamie asked, making an all-encompassing gesture towards the empty alley. 

“That’s not what I said! I just -!” Dani took a deep breath, trying to steady herself when it felt like the world was rocking on its axis around her. “I missed you. Everyday. I still do."

Jamie stared at her as though the rug had been pulled right out from under her boots. "I'm here now," she said.

"Yeah, but you weren't. Not then. Not when I -!" Dani cut herself off from whatever idiotic thing she'd been about to let slip.

"What the fuck was I supposed to do? I didn’t ‘leave.’ I was taken." Jamie took a step forward, her hands balled into fists at her thighs. "Jesus, Dani, I was sixteen! Sixteen and trying to raise a kid by myself. Can you imagine what kind of disaster I would've -!" But Jamie just turned her head aside, lifting her hand to cover her mouth and shake her head.

"You didn't think to talk to anyone?" Dani asked. "Me? Judy? Or -?"

"Judy? Judy was the one who called social services! And you know what? I'm fucking relieved she did. At the time I was so mad, but now, I -" Jamie swallowed past a burr in her voice. "I couldn't have stayed here even if I wanted to."

For a moment Dani waited, waited for Jamie to say something else, to continue. When she didn't, Dani breathed an incredulous huff of laughter. "What? They -? They un-invent telephones where you went? Never heard of the postal service before?"

Jamie was shaking her head and smiling, an angry rictus grin, as she looked down at her feet and kicked at a loose stone. "Not that simple, is it?"

"Isn't it? God knows I tried to send letters to you. All the time. Even years later."

Jamie still wouldn't look up at her. The line of her mouth was hard. "I couldn't."

"Couldn't?" Dani pressed, and it was her turn to step forward, ducking her head to try and get a good look at Jamie's face. "Or didn't want to?"

"No, I - I wanted -"

"Well, clearly not."

"Dani -"

"Because the Jamie I knew wouldn't have gone down without a fight! The Jamie I knew was -!"

"Jesus fucking Christ! I didn't send you a letter because I couldn't stand it!" Jamie yelled. "Because if it was going to end, then I wanted it over quickly! Put me out of my misery! Send you a letter? Then what?"

Dani's mouth dropped open but no sound came out. Jamie was looking at her now, and her eyes were over-bright, her cheeks flushed, her lower lip trembling. They stood close enough that when Jamie exhaled shakily, Dani could feel the stir of the air. 

Jamie breathed in sharply before she said, "You would've stopped replying. Eventually. You would've slipped away, and I — I couldn't do that. Not this time. Not with you."

The silence stretched between them, terrible and vast. Dani made an abortive movement — to touch her, to do something — but Jamie flinched as if expecting to be slapped. Dani blinked, freezing in place with her hand outstretched, while Jamie ducked her head and wiped briskly at her cheeks. 

"I wouldn't have," Dani said finally, feeling raw, feeling flensed. "I'm still here. I've always been here."

"Yeah. Yeah, y'are." Jamie nodded. She cleared her throat gruffly and straightened.

Slowly, falteringly, feeling brave beyond compare, Dani lowered her hand, only to reach down and touch Jamie’s balled up fist. Jamie started at the contact, her eyes darting down as Dani brushed her thumb against the back of her knuckles until Jamie loosened her hand enough to clasp their fingers together. Dani was enchanted by the way Jamie held her mouth, by the brief flutter of her eyelashes and her unsteady inhalation at that simple touch. 

"So, you missed me?" Jamie gave her a watery grin.

"Of course, I did,” Dani murmured. “You were my best friend."

Jamie nodded, swallowed thickly, but said nothing.

Dani squeezed Jamie’s hand gently, feeling the ghost of that pressure returned before she let go. “Can we -? Can we start over?” Dani asked, and she smiled weakly. “Oh, wow! I'm so glad to see you again! Do you want to catch up sometime?"

Jamie laughed and shoved her hands into her back pockets, rocking in place on her heels. "I'd like that." When she met Dani’s gaze this time, her teeth caught on the side of her lip, a corner of her mouth curling in a smile. “You want to come over for afternoon tea next week?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to.”

Jamie jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “Probably should have a look under your bonnet, though.”

“God,” Dani muttered, darting past her to pull open the car and pop the hood. “I almost forgot about that. I’m sorry - I - ”

Jamie stilled her movements with a warm hand on Dani’s shoulder. “It’s all right. Really. Let me fix it.” 

Mouth suddenly dry, Dani nodded. “Okay.” 

 --

It was by now second nature for Dani to sweep her eyes across her childhood home the moment she stepped foot in it. By all accounts, it was a picturesque two story house with not a picture frame or vase out of place. The floors swept and vacuumed, the plastic plants eased into corners, dusted and shined. But there were things only Dani had a keen eye for. The thin layer of ash collected on windowsills and corners of kitchen countertops. Empty glasses hidden in bathrooms or the back porch. Empty bottles under the sink that needed to be collected and thrown out. Cigarette butts hidden under sofas and chairs — those scared her the most. 

It was simply her good daughterly duty, to check in at least once a week, fearing the day that there wouldn’t be a childhood home to come back to. She was well versed in the nature of it, and not just the fear and the duty, but the side stepping and placating that came along with it. 

“I just don’t see what the issue is,” her mother said, sitting behind Dani at the small round kitchen table, smoking as Dani cleaned the empty glasses piled in the sink. “You’ve always loved reading.”

Dani sighed. They’ve been circling this conversation since morning before church. “I told you, I don’t have the time for a book club.”

“There’s so many other young women your age there, and they don’t have any issues with time,” her mother said, in between puffs. Dani could practically feel her mother’s hard stare on her back. “Weren’t you friends with some of them? Susan? Jackie?”

Dani clenched her teeth, scrubbing particularly hard at a wine glass. “I’m sorry mom, but no,” she said.

Karen exhaled sharply, expelling a stream of smoke. “I just don’t understand you, Danielle,” she said, her voice cutting. Dani’s shoulders tensed. “We always do anything you want in your free time, but any time I want us to do something together, you can’t even bother. Every time. Every time it’s like this with you.”

There it was. You simply just didn’t say no to Karen Clayton. Not without consequence. Dani learned that a long time ago, browbeaten into something smaller and softer for Karen to mold and subdue when her eyes weren’t so glassy and her words weren’t so unsteady. But the past week had lit a flame under Dani’s feet, a sort of weightlessness she hadn’t felt in so long that she didn’t even remember what it had felt like before. 

Still, it didn’t stop Dani from hunching her shoulders in an attempt to curl into herself as Karen audibly stood from her chair, the legs screeching against the floor. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, as if that would soften the blow, rinsing off the last glass and shutting off the pipe.

Karen scoffed as she opened the fridge to pull out a carton of orange juice and a bottle of vodka. When she spoke, the cigarette bobbed between her lips. “No, no. Far be it from me to want to spend more time with my daughter, do something fun together. And the ladies would’ve loved to have you there. They’ll be so disappointed.”

Dani would have laughed if the idea of it didn’t make her feel taut at the seams. There was no fun to be gained sitting in a room with women who either relentlessly taunted her in their youth or whispered behind their books of how Dani was spotted just the other day having dinner with councilman Fields and her perfect fiancé, the promising politician to-be. Nothing to be gained in being her mother’s showdog, paraded around like a prized possession, her mother’s pride and joy. Dani would’ve laughed, if the thought didn’t make her feel hollow.

Instead, Dani frowned, drying her hands on a dish towel as she watched her mother make herself a drink, her mouth pulled tight in a scowl as she poured and mixed, expertly maneuvering the lit cigarette between two fingers. It was her third drink of the day, having already downed two mimosas during lunch. Dani wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling it curdle uncomfortably as she watched.

As her mother took a long sip, Dani murmured, “Work has just been keeping me busy, is all.”

Karen gave her a look. “Honey, you’re a teacher, what could possibly — “ she cut herself off when Dani’s stare hardened. Karen exhaled sharply, turning away to take another sip and stabbing out her smoke in an ashtray Dani had just cleaned. “Never mind.”

“No,” Dani said, pulling her arms tighter around her. “What were you going to say?”

“I said never mind, Danielle,” her mother repeated, her eyes hardened. She sighed and rubbed her temple. “God, I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

Karen stumbled away, retrieving her pack of cigarettes and lighter from the table before wandering out of the kitchen towards the living room. Dani watched her leave, her breathing shallow and her hands clenched into fists. 

It took a minute longer than usual, to let it ease out of her. To let her shoulders drop from her ears and her fists to relax open. Maybe it was her mother switching on the tv to a loud sitcom. Or maybe it was the orange juice and vodka, still laid out on the counter along with other empty bottles that needed to be thrown out. For one brief intense second, Dani considered combing through the entire house for every single bottle and carton of cigarettes, to empty them down the drain and toss them all in the garbage. 

She took it out on the dishes instead, drying them with a cloth, her movements jerky and rushed. If she wasn’t so focused on it, wasn’t frowning so hard down at her reflection in the glass as she focused on trying to ease the tension in her coiled muscles, maybe then she’d have noticed the knock on the front door a second sooner. Maybe then, she would have remembered — 

“Afternoon, Mrs. Clayton. Long time no see.” Jamie’s distinct voice, cheerful and pleasant as ever, came from the front door. 

Remembered that Dani, temporarily car-less, had made plans for Jamie to come pick her up at the old house.

Dani froze at the sound, her eyes wide at the silent interval, and then: “You have some nerve coming back here and knocking on my door,” Karen said, derision dripping from her voice. 

“Shit,” Dani muttered, and rushed to where her mother stood sentry in the doorway. Just over her shoulder stood Jamie on the porch, hands in her pockets and wearing a grin. A familiar grin, one that Dani knew Jamie had worn in the presence of her mother since they were young, placid and charming but which Dani knew hid its own share of derision. When their eyes met over her mother’s shoulders, Jamie’s grin softened. 

“Hope I’m not too late,” Jamie said. 

“You’re early actually,” Dani said, ignoring Karen’s piercing stare as she stepped aside to make room for Dani by the doorway. She had been hoping for her mother to be distracted by her television and her drinks to leave at the same moment that Jamie was supposed to pull up towards the house, but now — 

“Oh? Early for what?” Her mother asked pointedly.

Dani swallowed hard, pulling her mouth into a tense smile as she finally caught her mother’s gaze. “Oh, um. Jamie and I were going to go have tea. To catch up."

Karen hummed, folding her arms across her chest, sparing Jamie another sharp look, and said, “I didn’t realize you two were friends again.”

Any answer Dani could have given became lodged in the back of her throat. Her eyes flickered towards Jamie to find her already staring back, her expression blank but for the soft curl at one corner of her mouth. That was the rub, wasn’t it. Neither of them had identified what it was they were trying to do here. A tenuous strand of hope was threaded between them that afternoon a week ago, but Dani, feeling like a newborn colt on wobbly legs, wasn’t even sure where she stood in the realm of Jamie letting her back into her life. Wasn’t sure how far she herself was willing to go.

“Well, you have to start somewhere, yeah? A cup of tea’s a good enough place as any,” Jamie said, shrugging, her grin turning mischievous as she looked at Dani, “No matter how rancid.”

Dani would have chuckled at the teasing words if it weren’t for the eager thrill going down her spine at Jamie all but confirming the start of something.

Her mother smiled, the curl of her lips more of a sneer than anything. “I see,” was all she said, arching an eyebrow at Dani.

Dread pooled to her stomach, her muscles tensing as Karen bore her eyes into Dani, displeasure leeching off of her, her lips thin. 

Dani cleared her throat, pulling her mouth into a smile until her cheeks ached. “Well, I um. I just have to go get changed, and then we’ll get out of your hair,” she said, mindlessly reaching her hand towards Jamie, whose face flickered with bemusement. 

Karen's face fell. Far too obediently for her own sake, Jamie took hold of her hand, her bemusement morphing into something more mischievous. A shock almost went up from Dani’s palm up to her shoulder at the touch, Jamie’s hand calloused but warm and dry in her own. Letting herself be pulled in the house, Jamie was already toeing off her boots as she offered Karen a wink. Dani squeezed her hand with a reprimanding look when her mother’s eyes hardened. Jamie didn’t even have the decency to look contrite. 

“We’ll just be a few minutes,” Dani said, pulling Jamie insistently towards the staircase, offering her mother one last weak smile, “Promise.”

Her mother huffed and shut the door, disappearing back into the living room with one last scowl. When she was finally out of sight, Dani immediately dropped Jamie’s hand and led her up the stairs with a murmured, “This way.”

Jamie whistled low. “Your mum's still as charming as ever, I see,” Jamie murmured just behind her. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” Dani breathed out an awkward chuckle. “She’s, um. She’s been in a bit of a mood today.”

She expected a sharp retort, the kind of snark only her mother could pull out of Jamie, but instead there was silence behind her. Dani glanced over her shoulder with a frown to see Jamie staring thoughtfully at the framed photos lining the staircase walls as they climbed. Portraits of Dani throughout the years, family photos of just Dani and her mom, and photos with Eddie intermittently spread across the board. It wasn’t anything new or special, photos Dani’s seen a million times that they could’ve faded into the walls, and she wouldn’t have noticed. But as she followed Jamie’s eyeline towards Dani’s high school graduation portrait, Jamie’s eyes lingering intently on it as they passed, a dull ache spread across Dani’s chest and she spun back around, swallowing hard. 

When they reached her bedroom, Dani shut the door closed with a click, the sound uncomfortably loud in the sudden quiet. Six years. Six years of after school hangouts, of homework, of sleepovers, and never once had Jamie appeared so out of place as she did now, standing in the middle of the pale pink of Dani’s childhood bedroom, hands tucked deep in the pockets of her jeans, her expression carefully blank as she took in the scene. 

“Hasn’t changed much,” Jamie said. 

“Wasn’t really any need to,” Dani murmured, still trying to shake off the panic of having Jamie in her room for the first time in a decade, trying desperately not to recall the memories of the last time they had been in this room together.

As if her mind had drifted towards the same place, Jamie’s gaze wandered over to the purple comforters of Dani’s bed, visibly swallowed hard, and promptly meandered away towards Dani’s bookshelf. Feeling as if she’d both seen too much, and not enough at all, Dani cleared her throat and started towards her closet where she still kept some change of clothes, blindly pulling some out. 

With clothes in hand, she froze on the spot and murmured, “Um.”

At the sound, Jamie looked back at her and then down at the clothes she clutched in a fist. She blinked for a moment and then grinned. “Need me to turn around?” She asked, twirling a finger in a circle as a curious pale flush spread across her cheeks.

Dani felt her stomach swoop and drop, her cheeks warming. She chuckled breathlessly. “No, It’s — It’s okay. I’ll just — I’ll be a minute,” she said, and didn’t even wait for Jamie to reply as she darted out the room to change in the bathroom. 

In the time it took to change into jeans and a blouse, she managed to ease the tremble in her hands. To settle the panic of Jamie alone in her room, and of the embarrassment of just rushing out like that. Maybe it was a fool’s hope, to believe that things could’ve been easier after they had finally aired the frustrations of their reality. That things could’ve just inexplicably gone back to the way they were, and it would’ve suddenly been easier to look and talk to Jamie without feeling as unmoored as she did. 

When she returned to the room, she found that Jamie had wandered now over to her vanity, her arms loosely folded as she looked at the photos taped to the edges of Dani’s mirror. Photos that Dani knew contained so many memories that didn’t involve Jamie, memories that Jamie wasn’t around to take part of. Dani took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, hanging her dress on a rack behind her closet door. 

It was simply the new normal, Dani reminded herself. The dawn of their fresh start, something she’d have to keep reminding herself until they finally found their footing, or until they eased their way into something different and new. The thought left her feeling unexpectedly calmer. 

Striding towards the vanity, she caught Jamie’s eyes through the mirror and gave her a small grin. 

“Senior prom looked fun,” Jamie said, taking one last scan of the photos before retreating to the other side of the room just as Dani stepped next to her. 

Ducking her eyes, Dani smiled weakly down at the contents of her dresser. “You didn’t miss much, to be honest,” she said, and began to exchange her modest earring studs to a pair of gold hoops. “Someone spiked the punch and almost everyone got super drunk.”

“You kidding? That’s loads of blackmail material right there for the taking,” Jamie said. “At least tell me you took advantage of that?”

Dani gave her a look through the mirror. Jamie rolled her eyes and shook her head, her grin fond. “A goddamn waste,” she murmured, and then unexpectedly sobered. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

Dani froze, her eyes locked on Jamie, feeling her shoulders tense. “For what?”

“For riling your mum up like that. Habit, I guess,” Jamie said, shrugging with a rueful smile, before softly adding, “And also, everything else.”

There was something to be said with the way Dani’s heart immediately softened, her throat going thick at Jamie’s earnestness. The mirror needed a polish, and Jamie’s reflection was slightly smudged, so that she seemed to be standing further away in the background, as though a camera lens had been dialed out of focus. The new normal, Dani reminded herself. “I know,” she murmured, smiling faintly. “Me too.”

Jamie nodded, exhaling shakily and ducked her head to delve deeper in the room. Dani watched her silently through the mirror, brushing out her hair as Jamie wandered around as if she were in a museum, hands tucked away and her expression back to being painfully blank. When she finally reached Dani’s bedside table, she jerked to a stop, staring down at the one thing Dani had never found the heart to remove. The one photo left of Jamie out in the open, the only one framed and resting at her bedside, proving that she was here, that she had once existed in the orbit of Dani’s gravity. 

It was one of Dani’s favorites. Taken when they were around fifteen, sometime in the evening after a long spring day, Jamie holding Dani up in a piggyback ride with Dani’s arms wrapped around Jamie’s shoulders, the pair smiling so big and bright. Dani didn’t even remember what they were doing that day, only that feeling of endless carefree days, when she felt most like herself. 

She watched as Jamie picked up the frame, her face softening until she wore a faint but fond grin. Do you miss it too? Dani wanted to ask. Did you miss me? Instead, she looked away as Jamie’s throat bobbed, feeling again as if she’d seen too much. 

She finished by tying her hair up neatly with a blue scrunchie, exhaled softly, and said, “All done.”

Jamie cleared her throat and returned the photo to the bedside table, and said, “Right.”

The escape out of the house was easier than Dani had expected it to be. While Jamie slipped her boots back on, Dani retrieved a takeout bag she had left on the kitchen counter before bidding her mother goodbye for the day. Karen merely waved with a hum, distracted by the tv, though her mouth was still pulled tight in a scowl. 

They were almost out the front door scot-free when Jamie, clearly unable to help herself, smirked and called out just before the door shut, “Don’t worry, Mrs. Clayton. I’ll have her home by eleven.”

Dani huffed and knocked her elbow into Jamie’s ribs. At Jamie’s grunt, Dani bit her lip to contain her grin and shut the front door. 

“Your elbows are still as sharp as ever,” Jamie said, rubbing at her ribs, grinning widely as they strolled towards Jamie’s truck, as if the fresh air and distance from Dani’s room made it easier. “You Clayton women are pieces of work. Do I have that to look forward to in another twenty years?” she said, jerking her thumb behind her. 

Even as a thrill went down Dani’s spine at the thought of twenty more years of Jamie, she rolled her eyes and said, “Keep talking like that, and you just might.” Jamie smirked in response. 

The truck was warm from the afternoon sun as Dani slid in the passenger seat. There was a faint citrusy smell along with the little tree air freshener as if it had just been cleaned. When she caught sight of a variety of stickers attached to the glove compartment — a collection ranging between Star Wars, Star Trek, cartoons she vaguely recognized, and a legion of silver stars — Dani hid her smile by biting her lower lip. 

“What’s this, then?” Jamie said, gesturing down to the takeout bag Dani held in her lap as she started the engine. 

Dani grinned sheepishly. “Lunch. From Owen’s,” she said, “Can’t visit someone else’s home without bringing something.”

“You don’t have to do that with me, you know,” Jamie said as they took off down the street, not looking at her. “All that social niceties bullshit. All you need to do is bring yourself. S’all I care about.”

Leaning her head against the headrest, Dani watched Jamie’s profile with a soft grin. “It’s a midwestern thing,” she explained. “Besides, I wanted to.”

Jamie spared her a short glance, grinning crookedly. “The kid’ll appreciate that then,” she said, returning her gaze to the road. “My cooking is not up to snuff most days.”

A thought suddenly occurred to Dani. “You did tell him, right? That I was visiting?” she said, lifting her head and sitting upright.

“Oh no, I figured we’d surprise him.” When Dani gave her a look, Jamie rolled her eyes. “Of course I told him. D’you think I’m bloody mad? Imagine you at twelve years old, having a nice day at home when whatsherface from fourth grade comes knocking on your door for an afternoon cuppa with your mum. Christ, I may be a prat, but not that much of a prat.”

Dani laughed, and said, “You’re not a prat.” It was Jamie’s turn to give Dani a look. “Okay, maybe just a little. For comparing me to Mrs. Walker.”

“Believe me. You are miles ahead of that woman.”

A warmth spread across Dani’s chest up to her cheeks. With a pleased grin, Dani turned to stare at the passing buildings and landmarks as they drove by. The drive wasn’t too long, but it was filled with anecdotes of surviving their hard-nosed fourth grade teacher. 

“That’s putting it mildly,” Jamie muttered. “She was mental.”

“Fourth graders can get rowdy.”

Jamie snorted, and shot her a dry stare. “She yelled at you for reading ahead.”

Dani paused. “I actually forgot about that.”

Jamie chuckled as they pulled up to a house. “Right, here we are. Home sweet home.”

Dani eagerly leaned forward to look up at it through the windshield, smiling softly at the modest two story house. Pale grey with white shutters, a small porch right up front, and a bright red door. There were flower boxes along the windows on the first floor, blooming colorfully bright, and as she hopped out of the truck, she could see that there were also beds of flowers growing right along the walls of the house. 

“It’s beautiful, Jamie,” Dani said softly. 

Jamie shrugged. “Front’s all right. Back is a bit more of a mess.”

“Kinda have trouble believing that,” Dani said, enchanted with how picturesque it all looked. 

Jamie rolled her eyes and started up the front steps to the door, swiftly unlocking it. But as soon as Jamie led Dani inside, they both heard the thudding of feet bounding up a flight of stairs and the telltale sound of a door slamming shut. Dani hesitated, shooting Jamie a worried look. 

Rolling her eyes again, Jamie huffed and shut the front door. “Dunno what he thinks hiding is gonna do,” she grumbled, pulling her boots off, gesturing for Dani to do the same. “Gonna have to come down at some point.”

“Are you sure this is okay?” Dani slowly asked, setting her shoes neatly aside on a rubber mat. 

“Seemed perfectly fine when I told him.” Dani gave her a dubious look. “Okay, I bargained pizza for dinner with him, and he promised not to be a git about it, so it looks like pizza’s off the table for now,” Jamie said, her words gruff but still unable to hide a grin. It was charming, but did very little to comfort Dani, worrying her lower lip. Seeing this, Jamie softened. “Look, just give him a minute to settle. You know how us Taylors are.”

Slowly, the tension in Dani’s shoulders eased, and she nodded with a small grin. “Yeah, I do."

Jamie mirrored her grin for a moment before clearing her throat and stuffing her hands in her pockets. “Right, well. How about a bit of a tour?” she said, gesturing broadly to the house, “That’s another thing you midwesterners like doing, yeah?”

Dani grinned dubiously and said, “You realize you are a midwesterner, right?” 

Jamie snorted. “Hardly."

The first thing Dani noticed was how bright it was. Every window they passed was wide open with the curtains tied back, letting the afternoon light bounce across the off-white walls and a warm breeze waft through the rooms. The second thing she noticed was that there were plants everywhere. Greenery eased into corners and on tables and ledges. As Jamie led her through the kitchen to drop off the takeout, Dani smiled at the various plants and flowers propped up on the fridge and counters.

Leaving the takeout bag on the counter next to the sink where a variety of pots rested on the ledge just behind it, basking in the sun, Jamie stepped next to her and gave a curious shake to the watering can that sat in the sink. 

“Ass didn’t even finish watering them,” Jamie grumbled, but at Dani’s chuckle, she shook her head and grinned, turning around to lean her back against the counter. “Guess this is the kitchen.”

“It’s lovely,” Dani said, taking in the white cupboards and dark countertops. She especially liked the small dining table separated by the kitchen island that sat cramped next to the open window overlooking the small glimpse of what Dani could see as the backyard. 

“Tell me how you really feel,” Jamie said. “Needs some work, more like. Feels like every time I empty a box, another magically appears, I swear.”

Dani couldn’t say she knew the feeling. Every box in the house she shared with Eddie that was emptied and packed away felt like one step closer to a locked cage. She didn't say this though, didn’t let it show on her face, not when there already seemed to be a strange sort of stiffness to Jamie’s shoulders as she guided Dani out of the kitchen, gesturing with her chin towards the door that led to the basement with her hands deep in her pockets. Tense eyes that refused to meet Dani’s own as she pointed out the bathroom and various cupboards and closets, like she was nervous as to what she might see in Dani’s expression. 

Like the truck, the house smelled like it had just been cleaned. Floors swept and not a speck of dust in sight, like the house had been cleansed of anything unsavoury. There was something both sweet and unnerving to it. Slowly, as if leeching off the nervous energy from Jamie, Dani wrapped her arms around her stomach, wishing she knew what to say as Jamie guided her towards the living room. 

She wished she could tell sixteen year Jamie how charming the visibly well worn and loved the mismatched furniture was. The same Jamie who was taunted relentlessly for living in the poorest neighborhood in town, but never seemed to care when it came to Dani. Wished she knew how to tell this Jamie, who seemed to think Dani was the kind of person who grew to care about such a thing. Wished she knew how to tell her that every single object, every single plant and knickknack and visible record vinyl was like getting a piece of the puzzle back, like getting little pieces of Jamie back. 

New normal, she reminded herself faintly, meandering away from Jamie to wander around the living room, eyes darting about, hungrily taking everything in.

When her eyes landed on the picture frames lining the mantle, her stomach twisted tightly, and slowly, she neared them. There were only four, and while they were so few, it somehow made them all the more precious given how Dani hadn’t seen a single other photo among the rest of the house. 

The first one she sought was a charming school photo of Mikey, looking just a few years younger, smiling wide with his hair tamed and slicked back from his usual mess of curls. The one next to it was an old black and white portrait of a striking woman who could only be Ruth Heron, square-jawed and stern-eyed even in her youth. The next one Dani actually remembered taking; Jamie on her fifteenth birthday, sitting in front a cake with lit candles, wearing a wide crooked grin as she held a baby Mikey in her lap with Ruth standing just beside them, an arm across Jamie’s shoulders and wearing a rare warm smile. Dani swallowed against a lump in her throat, her grin rueful, memories of that day warming her skin.  

When she reached the last photo, she paused. It was of Jamie and Mikey, though Mikey was much younger than he was now, looking near six years old. Small enough for Jamie to hold up against her hip with his arms wrapped around her shoulders, both wearing near identical smiles. Jamie stood shin deep in water, her pants rolled up to her knees though still damp at the edges, and behind them was nothing but dark blue water. Dani’s hands itched to touch the frame, to pick it up and inspect it more closely. 

“Atlantic ocean,” Jamie’s voice came from behind her. 

Dani jerked the hand away that had been inching across the mantle, spinning around to see Jamie had stepped nearer, hands still in her pockets, shoulders still tense but the corners of her mouth curled faintly. 

“Sorry,” Dani said, balling her hands in fists by her side.

Jamie shook her head. “S’alright,” she said, and shrugged, “Only fair, I guess.”

Dani chuckled, recalling the way Jamie had seemed unable to remove her own gaze from the photos in her childhood house. She gestured towards the photo and said, “You saw the Atlantic?” 

Jamie hummed, her eyes straying to the photo in question, her face softening into a fond smile, and stepped closer. “Scarborough, Maine if you want to get particular about it,” she said, “Water was cold. He didn’t want to get in or let me stray too far. First time he ever let me hold him like that.”

“Good day?” Dani asked, still looking at Jamie.

“Yeah,” Jamie murmured, nodding. 

There was something enrapturing with the pensive warmth in Jamie’s face, eyes distant as though she was recalling that day. But all too quickly, the look was gone, cleared away to a carefully blank expression. 

“Anyways,” Jamie said, clearing her throat, and gesturing with a nod of her head behind her, putting on a grin, “Backyard’s this way.” Dani followed dutifully as Jamie led them to a door near the kitchen, already open save for the mesh screen to let in the breeze. She pulled the screen open and gestured for Dani to take a look. “Remember. Bit of a mess.”

Giving Jamie a look, Dani peeked her head out, feeling distinctly like was looking at an unfinished piece of artwork. There was a porch that encompassed the whole length of the back of the house, painted white and swept clean, various tools and gardening supplies shoved into each corner. The backyard itself was larger than Dani expected, clearly still in the process of being cleared; the grass was cut and weeds removed, but there still remained unwanted bushes and a collection of yard waste bags filled to the brim scattered around. Near the back corner, there were more tools and supplies shucked by an old shed that seemed as if it could give Dani tetanus just by looking at it. It wasn’t as much of a mess as Jamie had made it out to be, but Dani could see the potential in it. 

“Isn’t much yet, obviously,” Jamie said, leaning her shoulder against the wall next to the door, “Haven’t had time to work on it, unfortunately, due to work and all.”

Dani spared her a soft grin before stepping out on the porch, the wood warm beneath her feet, and leaned against the wood railing. “So what’s the plan?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at Jamie who stared at her with an odd look for a moment before following her outside and leaning on the railing next to her. 

“The plan,” Jamie said, exhaling as she looked over the yard, “Haven’t thought about it much.”

“Bull,” Dani said. Jamie smirked at her, shaking her head fondly. “Seriously, what’s the plan?”

“All right,” Jamie murmured.

Leaning her chin on her fist, Dani watched as Jamie explained her vision for the backyard, eyes bright and gesturing towards different corners of the grass, pointing out which flowers would go where, and which vegetable plot there. 

“Could use a tree,” Dani offered. “A fruit tree, maybe.”

“What kind?”

Dani hummed in thought. “Apple.”

“All right, where?”

“Somewhere there.” Dani gestured in a vague direction towards the back.  

Jamie chuckled, and said, “That’s where the greenhouse is going.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Fine, a cherry blossom out front.”

Arching an eyebrow, Jamie grinned. “All right, anything else?”

“I’ll let you know.” The warm breeze brushed against Dani’s skin as they chuckled. When they fell quiet, listening to the trees rustle, Dani straightened after a moment, and said, “I always knew you were gonna do something with plants.”

“That right?” Jamie said, straightening to lean against a pillar, eyes still warm, but there was a guardedness to it now. 

Dani nodded. “You always complained about it, always wanted to do something else when Nan put you to work but,” she paused, eyes drifting back to the yard, recalling those days Jamie would roll on her back in the grass next to Dani after a long day of chores, eyes shut with the faintest of smiles, her nose speckled with sun kissed freckles. Dani’s mouth curved into a warm smile, “You were content after.” 

Her gaze drifted back to Jamie who was watching her with an unreadable expression. Soft as it was, it sent Dani’s stomach fluttering not unpleasantly. And then, Jamie blinked and glanced away, shrugging. “That’s the thing with plants, I suppose,” Jamie said. “Easier than people. Predictable. Good listeners. Give back what you give them.”

Dani’s smile gradually slipped away, and before she could find the words to respond, Jamie pushed off the pillar and gestured to the house. Dutifully, Dani followed her back inside. The rest of the tour went by at speed light with Jamie leading her upstairs, pointing vaguely to three doors she described as another bathroom, her own bedroom, and a spare room they mostly used for things they haven’t found a place for yet, until they reached the last door at the end of the hallway, covered in more stickers. 

“And this’ll be the kid himself,” Jamie said, winking at Dani before knocking hard on the door, "Oi, unless you’ve got a hankering for my dry pasta, I suggest you best get yourself sorted out in five minutes for lunch.”

There was audible scrambling from behind the door. Dani shook her head with a grin as Jamie chuckled under her breath. “Yeah, yeah, fine, I’ll be down,” Mikey called through the door. 

When they returned downstairs to the kitchen, Jamie immediately went about setting up a kettle on the stove to boil. 

“You know, you don’t have to spook him for my sake,” Dani said, watching Jamie comfortably move about in her own kitchen. 

Jamie chuckled, “He’ll be all right. Gives back just as good as I give him, believe me.”

“You mean like all those Star Trek reruns he subjects you to?” Dani said, grinning. 

Jamie groaned. “This entire week’s been a nightmare. You’d have thought it was the World Cup last Monday, and I bet it’ll be the same tomorrow,” she said, “Absolute torture, I’m telling you.”

“I’m sure,” Dani said, chuckling.

At the sound of the floor creaking behind them, they both turned to see Mikey standing in the entrance to the kitchen, fidgeting with his hands and looking just as anxious as he’d been that day Dani first spoke to him about his math homework. 

“Christ, took you long enough,”Jamie said, “What were you hiding from? The boogeyman?”

“Maybe,” Mikey said with a pointed scowl at Jamie who snorted.

Just barely refraining from rolling her eyes, Dani smiled gently down at him, and said, “Hi.”

Catching her eyes, Mikey’s scowl immediately evaporated into a shy anxious grin. “Hi, Miss Clayton,” he said.

“How’s your weekend been?”

He shrugged noncommittally, his eyes flickering away to the floor. “Was okay,” he said, and then twisted his face around as if thinking something through with a great deal of effort before meeting her eyes again and adding hesitantly, “How was yours?”

“I could say the same,” she said, and leaned forward just a little as if divulging a secret, “Though don’t tell Jamie this, but I think it’s gotten a lot better today.”

She was surprisingly pleased when Mikey broke into a grin, and even more so when his face scrunched up in bewilderment, glancing at Jamie dubiously and asked, “Why? Because of her?”

Dani was unable to hold back a snort when Jamie huffed behind her. “Y’know, unless you want the boogeyman to eat your lunch and bite your head off for dessert, I suggest you help set the table.”

Jumping into action, Mikey did as he was told, grabbing the plates Jamie handed to him and a set of cutlery from a drawer to set on the kitchen table. 

“Do you need help?” Dani asked. 

“Nope, you’re our guest,” Jamie said, offering Dani a grin over her shoulder, “You just sit right there, and get yourself comfortable.”

With nothing better to do, Dani settled into a chair at the table, resting her chin on her palm and trying not to watch the pair too closely, but it was hard not to. Not with the way Mikey seemed to brighten from the shy boy she was familiar with to one who bickered quietly with Jamie on who got which favored mug. Not with the way they danced around each other with ease, grabbing things from cupboards and drawers to place on the table. But when Mikey rolled his eyes at another one of Jamie’s quips, snickering and jumping away from a well aimed kick to the back of his legs, all at once Dani could see the ghost of a twelve year old Jamie in his soft features, and she had to finally look away. 

When they finally settled into their chairs adjacent to Dani, teapot on the table and takeout bag in hand, she helped them distribute the three sandwiches she had bought. 

“I wasn’t sure what else to get, so I got us something I remembered you liked,” Dani explained, anxiously watching them unwrap their lunch.

Jamie offered her a grin. “Like I said. Can’t go wrong with Owen’s handiwork,” she said, a glint appearing in her eyes, “But — “

“Oh no,” Dani muttered.

“But,” Jamie repeated, chuckling and opening her sandwich to pull out a pickle that had been peeking out the side, “If I ever see you bring a gherkin into my house again, we’re gonna have some words.”

“Oh,” Dani murmured, her cheeks going warm as Mikey followed suit, leaving the pickles on the side of his plate with an awkward grin. “Sorry. I - um. Guess I forgot.”

“S’alright,” Jamie said, giving the teapot a quick glance before pouring tea in each of their cups, “Next time.”

The thought of a next time sent a thrill down Dani’s spine, her mouth flickering into a pleased smile down at her food, and with a sudden brazenness that surprised even her, Dani reached out to Jamie’s plate to pluck a discarded pickle and eat it. Jamie froze, eyes wide, and laughed. 

“Now why do I get the feeling you forgot on purpose?” Jamie said, eyes bright.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Dani said, shrugging and not meeting Jamie’s eyes.

Jamie laughed again, and without prompting, relinquished both hers and Mikey’s discarded pickles on Dani’s plate with a flourish. Dani caught her eye, grinning in thanks. 

Mikey watched this all with a puzzled frown as he poured sugar into his tea before sliding the small container towards Dani. “Um, Miss Clayton, do you want sugar?”

“Yes, thank you,” Dani said with a grin, tossing in a few teaspoons of sugar. “You know,” she started slowly, reaching for the milk to pour in enough until it was the color of pale bark. “You don’t really have to call me that, I’m not your teacher here. You can just call me Dani.”

When she set the milk back down, she caught Mikey looking at her tea with wide eyes just short of aghast and Jamie shaking her head. 

“Just ignore it,” Jamie said, “And whatever you do, never accept a brew from her. It’s probably poisoned.”

Dani rolled her eyes and kicked at Jamie under the table who shied away, grinning into her sandwich. When she looked back at Mikey, his face was slightly pained. “Okay - um. Miss Dani,” he said, and at Jamie’s snort he glowered at her. 

Dani smiled gently when he bit into his sandwich, chewing roughly. “You know, I’ve always been impressed with your manners,” she said, chuckling when his eyes darted to her in surprise, “I’m just not sure where you’ve gotten them from, ‘cause I know you didn’t get them from Jamie.”

“Oi!” Jamie said. While Mikey had no problems snorting loudly, Dani fought hard to not laugh at the exaggerated look of betrayal on Jamie’s face, biting hard at her lip. “I’ve got plenty manners, thank you very much. Gentlemanly one might say. Perfectly charming.” Dani caught Mikey’s eye and they shared a mischievous grin. “Oh, I see how it is. This is what I get for inviting you over and treating you to my patented Taylor hospitality.” Dani only hummed, hiding her grin as she sipped on her tea. Jamie gave her a dry look and said, “Never again.”

Dani laughed, unable to help herself. A fond grin slowly creeped it’s way on Jamie’s face, shaking her head.

Mikey’s eyes bounced between the two of them curiously, landing on Dani with a small frown. “Miss Cla — Miss Dani?”

“Just Dani is fine.”

Mikey’s face twisted, settling into a stubborn frown, and firmly said, “Miss Clayton — ” Jamie shared a small grin with her out of the corner of her eyes “ — Jamie said you both grew up together.”

“We did,” Dani said, smiling indulgently. 

“Did you also know me?”

“She sure did,” Jamie said, smirking. “Changed your diapers and everything.”

Mikey’s eyes immediately went wide and his cheeks red, hiding his face as he returned to his sandwich. When Jamie chuckled, Dani gave her a look. Jamie merely responded with a sheepish shrug.  

“Hey, you know that photo on the mantel? The one from Jamie’s birthday?” Dani started, patiently waiting for Mikey to meet her eyes. When he did, curious and nodding, Dani tilted her head, her grin soft. “I took that photo.”

His eyes widened, “Really?” At her nod, he took a bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully, and said with his mouth full, “That’s cool.”

Dani chuckled, and after a brief moment of consideration, she spared Jamie a sly look. “And you know,” she said slowly, grinning when Jamie frowned suspiciously at her. Dani ignored the look and turned back to a curious Mikey. “Jamie was telling me that you’re a big Star Trek fan.”

Jamie froze. “Dani.”

Dani continued to ignore her, her grin wide as Mikey’s eyes lit up, straightening in his seat. “Yeah! Are you one too?”

“Dani — “ Jamie tried again, her voice pained.

“I used to watch reruns of the original, and the weird cartoon they made.”

“I have the VHS tapes for all the movies!” Mikey said, “I even taped the new show last week, have you seen it?”

“I haven’t actually,” Dani said, enjoying the horror creeping on Jamie’s face way too much as Mikey seemed to nearly bounce in his seat with newfound energy. “Is it any good?”

“It’s amazing, do you — “ he paused, seeming to slow down, a sudden shyness overtaking him, “Do you wanna watch?”

“Christ, not again,” Jamie groaned, burying her face in one hand, rubbing at her forehead, resignation settling heavy on her shoulders. 

Dani laughed, and said, “I’d love to.”

At the rate Mikey finished his sandwich and tea, lunch was quickly over. Before Jamie could get a word edged in, Mikey shot up from his seat, grabbed their empty plates and cups to dump in the sink, rushed out a breathless, “Thank you for lunch, Miss Clayton,” before dashing into the living room to set up the tv.

Left alone to bask in the aftermath of Mikey’s hurricane of excitement, Dani leaned her elbows on the table, pulling her lips between her teeth to hide her smile as Jamie stared at her. “I’m beginning to think you may be the devil in disguise,” Jamie said dryly. Dani laughed again, unable to help herself as Jamie grumbled under her breath, standing to step towards the sink. “Laughs at me, she does. Who knew human suffering was just a barrel of laughs.”

Shaking her head, Dani stood and followed Jamie to the sink as she opened the tap, nudging Jamie’s shoulder with her own. It earned Dani a grin, the terse edges of Jamie’s mouth gone, leaving only indulgent fondness that seemed to strike hard at Dani’s chest, leaving her somewhat breathless. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jamie said, handing Dani a cloth. 

Dani slowly took it, carefully avoiding Jamie’s hand, and said, “I promise to go easy on you from now on.”

A curious look crossed Jamie’s face, one that Dani didn’t have time to decipher before Jamie was grinning crookedly again. “Best not to make promises you can’t keep," she said, and winked.

Feeling her stomach twist, Dani matched her grin and they both set about cleaning the dishes. Jamie washing and Dani drying in companionable silence, Jamie’s shoulder and arm occasionally brushing up against Dani’s, warm to the touch. Dani wore a soft grin the entire time. When they were done, Jamie dug through her fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer, offering one to Dani, only to shrug when Dani shook her head no, replacing one back.

“I am definitely going to need this if I’m going to survive the next hour and a half,” Jamie said, popping open a bottle. 

Dani blinked. “An hour and a half?”

Jamie snorted, pointing the bottle towards Dani. “You made your bed,” she said, taking a hefty swig. 

Making their way to the living room, Mikey was already set up in the middle of the couch, legs crossed with a remote in hand while the big boxy tv set up on the other side of the room was paused, the screen flickering over a distorted image. Jamie collapsed on one side of Mikey, lounging back with an arm resting on the back of the couch, and her legs stretched out on the coffee table, one leg crossed over the other. Dani meanwhile, sat gingerly on the other side of Mikey, stiffly sinking into the soft blue cushions, her shoulder resting inches away from Jamie’s hand. 

Jamie sighed. “All right, let’s get this over with.”

Mikey knocked his arm into Jamie’s rib. Grunting, Jamie retaliated by flicking his ear. Mikey swiped her hand away, huffing before turning to Dani, and asked, “Ready?”

Chuckling at the sibling antics, Dani nodded. “Ready.”

Dani settled in as Mikey excitedly pressed play, the screen coming to life as planets flew by and familiar music began to play. Dani’s mouth slowly curled into a warm smile. It was as though she absorbed Mikey’s excitement, anticipation buzzing at her skin, nostalgia draping over her like a warm cloak. The memories of curling up next to her dad as they sat through another rerun together weren’t unexpected, but they did spread a warm and somber fondness through her. Her smile faltered just slightly. 

As Mikey murmured along to the intro under his breath, Dani felt eyes on her. Flicking her gaze to her right, she was met with Jamie staring at her with gentle concern. When Jamie arched a questioning eyebrow, Dani shook her head and smiled. Jamie stared for a moment longer, before returning her eyes to the tv, taking a sip of her beer. Dani kept her gaze fixed on Jamie for just a second longer, studying her profile, before returning it back to the show, chuckling silently at Mikey’s murmured recitings. 

It was strangely easy, to sink further into the cushions, to settle in the comfortable silence with Jamie and Mikey, curtains closed to block the glare of the evening light and swinging gently in the breeze. To share another grin with Jamie as a man in out of place medieval looking clothes appeared on screen, Jamie’s feet rocking back and forth. To chuckle when Jamie received another elbow to the ribs as she sipped her beer after muttering a “Cheers, mate,” when the aforementioned man decried human civilization, and Mikey muttered back, “Stop being embarrassing."

Dani got lost in the warmth of it, taken in with Jamie’s teasing and soft grins, and Mikey’s shy eyes and barely restrained eagerness. A slow ache creeping across her chest, pulling apart the fragile seams that held together the longing for what could have been as Mikey, over time, relaxed deeper and deeper on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest as he slowly leaned his back against Jamie. Dani carefully observed them when he rested his head against Jamie’s shoulder, her heart swelling as Jamie’s eyes slowly drifted down to Mikey relaxing against her side, her face softening in the diffused evening light, a corner of her mouth curling into a faint smile. As though feeling Dani’s gaze on her, Jamie’s eyes darted up and caught her own. Dani’s grin widened as Jamie fondly rolled her eyes, turning back to the tv. 

When the episode drew to a close, a pair of giant space jellyfish reunited once more to the sound of Jamie’s exasperated sighs, Mikey turned back to Dani, eyes bright and eager with questions; if she enjoyed it, what were her favorite parts, who was her favorite character? Dani laughed and answered as best as she could while Jamie left them to it, retrieving another beer from the fridge before returning to listen quietly as Dani and Mikey discussed the episode. But when Mikey began enthusiastically planning for next Sunday, Jamie nudged him in the shoulder with a tisk. 

“Don’t go making plans without asking the lady first,” Jamie said. 

“Oh,” Mikey murmured, looking up at Dani, his eyes shy again. “Do you want to come back next week to watch the next episode, Miss Clayton?”

Dani softened under the stare of his brown eyes, aware that Jamie was watching with a careful blank expression. “I’d love to,” Dani said, and grinned at him, “Only as long as you call me Dani from now on when I’m here.”

Mikey made a face, and finally relented with a nod. Pleased, Dani glanced back up at Jamie whose face was still curiously blank for a moment before she cleared her throat, and said, “Reckon I should get you home in time for dinner then.”

Dani froze. “Oh,” she said, struck by the reminder that there was an entire world that existed outside Jamie’s house that she needed to return to. She swallowed against the discomfort rising in her throat, her mouth flickering with a faint smile. “Guess you’re right.”

Jamie shot her another grin before rising to her feet, ruffling Mikey’s hair and disappearing back into the kitchen. Dani stood, hands fidgeting as she grinned down at Mikey. “Well, it was good to see you,” she said. 

“You too,” he replied softly, just a touch of that anxious tension returning to his shoulders now that there was no longer the topic of Star Trek to play as a buffer between them. 

Dani forced her smile to relax as Jamie returned sans beer bottle, hands tucked into her jeans again as she stood waiting. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school, okay?” Dani said, offering him one last grin, “I really enjoyed watching the show with you.”

Mikey’s smile brightened slightly. “Me too,” he said. “See you tomorrow.”

She left him with one last small wave, and let Jamie quietly guide her towards the front door where Dani slipped on her shoes. 

“Thank you,” Dani said softly, “For having me.”

Jamie grinned crookedly. “My pleasure,” she said, and her shoulders bunched up an inch, that same uneasiness from earlier edging its way into the lines of her face. 

Dani hesitated briefly, and said, “He really seems to enjoy it. Sharing it with you.” Jamie’s eyes softened, and she ducked her head to hide it. Heartened at the unexpected shyness, Dani risked adding, “Try to go easy on him.”

Jamie snorted, but nodded all the same. “You don’t have to come watch again, you know. Honestly. God knows I’m already plagued with this obsession of his, don’t need that on your plate any more than I do.”

“I want to,” Dani said, firmly enough that Jamie’s mouth snapped shut, blinking in surprise, “I had fun.”

“All right,” Jamie murmured, a slow warm smile brightened her face.  

“Besides,” Dani continued, “What kind of friend would I be if I disappointed Mikey? If I let you go through that alone?”

“So I passed the test?” 

Dani’s brow furrowed at the question. “The test?” 

“We’re friends again?”

It was like something slammed into Dani’s chest, the way her breath escaped her. A thickness grew in Dani’s throat, her muscles twitching to move, and before she knew what she was doing, she was stepping closer, being pulled in like gravity until her arms were wrapping around Jamie’s tense shoulders and she was pressing her face against the soft flannel fabric of her shoulder. It was like a shock to her system, having Jamie in her arms again, like being jolted back to life. 

“Of course we’re friends,” she murmured, nearly breathless, and after what felt like ages, Jamie’s arms wrapped around her, encompassing her waist and pulling her in close. Dani exhaled slowly, her breath unsteady as she felt Jamie’s shoulders relax, sinking into the hug with a sigh of her own. Distantly, Dani wondered if Jamie could hear Dani’s pounding heart. If she could feel the tremble in her hands as they pressed against Jamie’s firm back. 

She closed her eyes and sank further into it, digging her hands into Jamie’s shirt and breathing her in. The smell of the earth and fresh laundry detergent hidden under Jamie’s preferred sandalwood cologne both comforting and familiar that Dani could’ve smiled into the crook of Jamie’s neck, if only it weren’t for the thickness of her throat. It twisted tight at her stomach until she finally lowered her arms, head ducked. 

Jamie released her immediately, stepping away and clearing her throat. “Right,” she said gruffly, not meeting Dani’s eyes as she raked a hand through her hair, ruffling it up into an unruly mess. 

Dani swallowed hard and smiled weakly at the flyaways she itched to smooth down. Instead, she met Jamie’s eyes and said, “I - um. I should go.”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah,” she said, but when Dani reached to twist the lock open and pull open the door to march out, Jamie chuckled. “Where do you think you’re off to?”

Dani spun around to give her a confused frown. “To dinner at Judy’s?”

“And you were just gonna walk all the way across town?” When Dani merely blinked at her, Jamie laughed and began shoving her feet into her boots. “Haven’t you heard? There’s boogeymen about these parts. Can’t risk letting you get snatched on the street.” Just as she stepped out the door, she turned to shout back into the house. “Be back in a minute, don’t burn the house down.”

“No promises!” Dani heard Mikey call back immediately, like it was a thing they said often. 

Dani grinned at the fond roll of Jamie’s eyes as she locked the front door, and the wide gesture towards her green truck, as if motioning towards a carriage and horse. “After you,” Jamie said.

The drive back was quiet save for the radio playing low on some rock station. Feeling brazen again, Dani turned the dial towards the same station Carson had set in her own car. 

“No one said you could touch that,” Jamie said, mirth in her voice. Dani merely hummed in response with a satisfied impish grin, leaning back in her seat. 

When Jamie finally pulled up to Dani’s childhood home, she set the truck in park and offered Dani a grin. “Well, thanks for lunch.”

“Thanks for tea.”

Jamie grinned. “Next Sunday, then?”

Just as Dani began to nod, the door to the car parked in front of the O’Mara’s house swung open, and out stepped Eddie, as though he’d been waiting the entire time for Dani to return. Her stomach sank, heavy like lead. Even from this distance, Dani could see a puzzled frown shadow his face as he caught sight of Jamie’s truck. 

Jamie exhaled slowly. “Best get on with it then, right? Say my hellos.”

“Sure,” Dani said distantly. 

Pausing for a moment, Jamie snorted. “Think he’s still angry I accidentally set his homework on fire that one time?”

Dani laughed at the memory, and shook her head. “We’re not in high school anymore. I think he got over that years ago.”

The look Jamie gave her was dubious. “I’m putting my life in your hands here,” she said, but when Dani ignored her plight, stepping out of the truck and taking a deep breath, she heard Jamie mutter, “Christ, here we go.”

Eddie’s eyes lit up when he caught sight of her, stepping forward to pull her in a hug but stopped short when he spotted who followed Dani out of the truck, his eyes wide. “Jamie,” he said, blinking, and chuckled breathlessly. “Wow. It’s been a while.”

As Jamie stepped towards them, Eddie held his hand out. Jamie shook it just once before returning hers to her side as Dani felt Eddie’s arm wrap around her waist to gently pull her in close. 

“Ed,” Jamie said, wearing that same placid smile she wore for Judy at the bistro. Eddie pulled Dani a little closer, his mouth tightening. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah,” he said, “Mom and Carson mentioned you were back in town. Dad even said he caught you down at the hardware store the other day. Seems like you’ve caught up with just about everyone now.”

Jamie hummed with an affirmative nod. “All but Tweedledum and Tweedledee.”

At Jamie’s old nickname for the elder O’Mara twins, Dani bit back a snort. Even Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, they live out of town. Got families of their own now,” he explained, and fell silent, seemingly not knowing what else to say. 

“Good to hear,” Jamie said in the ensuing silence, her eyes darting between Dani and Eddie, still wearing that same smile until it morphed into something unfamiliar. “And looks like congratulations are in order for you lot also. Well done.”

Dani’s stomach clenched anxiously, hands slowly balling into fists by her side as Eddie’s smile brightened, pulling her in closer by the waist. “Thanks. We appreciate that,” he said. 

Jamie smirked. “Well, look at you both. North Liberty’s very own royal couple.”

Eddie chuckled, but Dani stiffened. She didn’t know how to respond to that, not with the way Jamie carefully eyed her, her gaze piercing. Dani decided to ignore it, to let her mouth pull into a small smile that strained her cheeks. “Jamie and I were just catching up over tea and lunch,” she explained to Eddie. 

“Sounds nice,” Eddie said, “How’re things going for you now that you’re back?”

Jamie shrugged. “Nothing to complain at home about,” she said, “Got my job at the gardens, Mikey’s top of his class, and I’ve been officially offered an open invitation to dinner at your mum's whenever I find the time.”

Eddie blinked, his voice faintly strained when he said, “Oh, uh. You’re coming to dinner today?”

“Not today, I’m afraid,” Jamie said, and shot Dani a grin, “Promised the kid pizza tonight.”

“Well,” Eddie cleared his throat, gesturing towards Jamie with a polite smile. “We should let you get to it, then. Right, sweetheart?”

Hearing the term of endearment felt like being underwater, the words muffled and deformed in her ears. Her smile was just a second delayed, pulled taut as she glanced up at Eddie. “Right,” she said, exhaling slowly as she returned her gaze to Jamie, immediately catching her eyes. 

Nodding, Jamie’s mouth pulled into a thin smile, the breeze whipping her hair and flannel. “Good to see you again,” she said. 

“You too,” Eddie replied.

Jamie shot her one last look, smile softened and faint, taking a step back and starting to turn away. Just as Dani began to feel the tug of Eddie’s hand on her waist, she reached her hand out to grab Jamie’s. 

“Hey,” Dani said, tugging Jamie to a stop who blinked in surprise as their eyes met. Dani opened her mouth to speak, but for what felt like an eternity nothing came out, until finally Dani said, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

The warm affection that bloomed in Jamie’s eyes nearly knocked Dani off her feet. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jamie murmured, squeezing her hand just once before easing it out of Dani’s with an easy grin, taking another step back, the wind ruffling her hair, and the golden light of the evening sun glowing on her skin as she turned away. 

#thobm #the haunting of bly manor #damie #dani clayton/jamie #dani clayton #jamie taylor #roman writes #cfau #bring home a haunting

[dorki-c]

My Guardian Demon| Chapter 1, Part 3: Inheritance

Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X (Reader)

Rating: 16+

A/N: I thought writing this part would be really hard...Nope. Not at all. I’m surprised! I hope you all enjoy!

TW: Brief mention of Fire, Swearing 

[Masterlist] [<— Previous| Next —>]

(Song recommendation for this chapter: All the good girl’s go to hell By Billie Eilish)

PROMPT QUESTION FOR THIS STORY ARC: Are all demons ‘bad’?

“But I’m not giving up on my dream, if you aren’t going to give up on yours.”

Alas, the gloriously golden sun highlighted the features of the old dusk that was soon turning into their new dawn.

(And might I say, if society got in their way, they will pay their dues the hard way.)

The two of them knew they had to paint the sky a fresh light blue, to develop the painting of the environment with creative splatters of white to resemble the clouds.

With the sun almost sliding to horizon’s edge, a cloudy vermillion mist (that was his demon) slipped into the view of the sun, highlighting their features but not letting a shadow smudge the surface of the pretty earth that the star ruled over.

“I know you won’t give up on your dream.” Even from three footsteps away, Izuku could still make out the multitude of voices mixed together. 

“So, I won’t give up on my own dream.” Although, even if one voice is made up of many sounds, that doesn’t mean it can’t resonate with tenacity.

“Got it!”

From a roof top of an apartment building to the lonesome streets below, it was still unbelievable to the middle schooler that he…literally met All Might.

(And that he had learned of All Might’s weakness.)

Nonetheless, after every battle we grow stronger.

(Right?)

------------------------------------

The days of our years always past through fingertips that have soaked in sin.

Yet, those who want to fight are the ones who shoulder said sins like an unlucky medal garnished in pure gold.

And how this medal got passed into Izuku’s somehow capable hand, who knows?

Where the demon stood at the back of the mass of people surrounding them, Izuku was at front of the crowd. A racing horse of many thoughts drowned his selfish needs and his demon’s hopeless demands.

How can he prove to society that he is capable to be a hero?  

How can he do it?

The scene of a filthy crime, the stage was set with a hostage and villain. One of them had manifested as a flaxen haired male, maybe around Izuku’s age? Though the moment the green-haired boy saw a familiar dandelion crackling outlining the big BOOM destroying the landscape around the hostage—he just started moving too fast for his demon’s claws to catch.

(T-That’s—that’s the same villain who attacked him!)

At first, a cold breeze of (what he believes might be) your hands about to catch him. Were you about to halter or allow him to write a new beginning?

(No, you weren’t stopping Izuku. Did you want to see this event play out?)

Sure, when the main act was about to end, maybe another new role can rush in and save the show.

Why were you staying behind? Did you approve of his actions? Izuku thought you hated it when he played the saviour role. Was he wrong?

(Izuku has never been a clairvoyant, however, he can be a saviour.)

Knocking and shoving past the innocently confused bystanders, visions of red scorching the surface of the road, the sight of that same gloopy villain cackling in satisfaction at the catch they managed to reel in.

“None of us have the right quirks to stop a villain like this!” The false heroes would always say.

“I’m not a real hero…” The Symbol of Peace may whisper to himself after saving many people.

“I want to be a hero!” Is the cry of a boy whose been doubted for his whole life.

Will he be successful in his attempt of grabbing “KACCHAN!” out of the sludge after throwing his yellow bag straight at the target?

(He ends up hitting the villain’s eye! Whoop! Whoop! Bullseye! )

If it wasn’t the summer sun of this fateful day.

Then it was the memories of childhood youth coming to ride the sailing riptide of the small green-haired boys kindness.

Where pebbles tumbled down the riverway above the stream of shallow river water travelling downwards was a large tree trunk pretending to be a safe bridge for the five children carelessly bumbling across it.

As the ringleader lost his footing and slipping down, down, down into the small riptide, if it wasn’t for the cicadas- clicking away with their summery sounds whilst they hide in the bushes- then a small splosh of water could’ve sounded like splashing into a large rain puddle.

(But it didn’t, instead the sound was nearly as silent as a dormouse sneaking into your fridge for cheese.)

Underneath Mother Nature’s bridge, casted a shadow blanketing the vermillion mist where the desolate being stood waiting for its owner to notice them, but the owner ignores the mist like he usually did and opts for helping the blonde-haired ringleader.

(He’s always helped people. (Y/n) can’t tell you when he hasn’t helped anybody.)

Extending his chubby baby hands, the green haired boy asked the blonde one “are you alright?” Though the demon knows that Izuku didn’t intend for that sentence to make the other child to narrow their crimson eyes.

However, whoever anybody is, Izuku will always extend a hand.

This does not exempt from his childhood friend, Bakugo Katsuki.

(This is what it means to be a saviour. Not a hero.)

The performance of a brave act had concluded with a boring aftermath.

(Like how can a demon say that watching All Might change the weather was exciting?)

Clobbered around Izuku’s tired form was a few (false) heroes who lectured him about how he should “be careful, because you could’ve easily died” to that villain.

(Though the demon had the audacity to scoff at the shitty remarks, if those heroes did their jobs properly and pulled Bakugo out of the villain’s grasps, then Izuku wouldn’t have had to.)

Let’s not forget, that Izuku was the one who had the guts to do what the heroes couldn’t do and that Bakugou was praised for his bravery.

What ‘bravery’ was there to show? If anything, those vermillion eyes showcased fifty shades of fear and that’s not tipping the iceberg of what those falsities had said about bravery.

(They were only boosting his ego.)

------------------------------------

“Do you think I did the right thing, (y/n)?” Izuku muttered out loud, although his demon was occupied with ignoring the ‘demon therapy’ poster that hung desolate on a lamp post and instead had the goal of catching a freaking butterfly.

When their hand reached out to grab it. They halted, turned towards Izuku, then asked “were you talking” because they were highly busy trying to catch an insignificant insect to notice that Izuku said something out loud.

“N-no! Don’t worr—” A rough, maybe a tad bit too loud of a bark cut Izuku off when he heard the familiar insult of “DEKU!” from the distance.

“Oh god, what does Bakugo want?” Izuku simply shrugged. Nobody really knows what Bakugo wants anymore. Is it validation? Pride? A sense of superiority?

Nobody, not even Izuku’s demon, could make out what he wanted by his little prompt speech about not owing Izuku a dime of gratefulness. With his whole act of calling Izuku a “quirkless failure who wouldn’t cut out to be a shitty rent-a-cop, even if he tried.”

Furthermore, how dare the blonde-haired boy think that Izuku was looking down on him. He first calls Izuku a “weakling” after all he had done, then accuses him that “he did nothing to help,” and then decided to strut off like the moody teenager he is.

(But what if you were mistaken to think he was moody?)

----------------------------------

When passing maybe two, perhaps three corners of rows with houses lined down the sides of the passageways, with boxed in backyards and the sun starting to lay its weary head down for a long desolate nap, Izuku was once again setting his mind straight and into autopilot.

“Hey Izuku?” You were asking the questions and he was answering back with his answers. Usually, you either stayed quiet or screamed at anybody (besides his mom) who dared to touch his precious face, so if he was guessing why you were asking him a question; it was because you were asking him an ‘important’ question (or so you labelled them to be important, because they seriously aren’t).

“Y-Yes (Y/n)?”

And of course, Izuku isn’t clairvoyant, so how would he know that your upcoming question was “what were the colours of the sky?” since your quite forgetful at times.

What? Why were you asking that question again? He’s told you a couple times before “there’s only one colour of the sky, its blue” but knowing you and your airheaded attitude, he has to stay patient. With your small nod to his answer, you seemed satisfied with the small talk until—

“I AM HERE!” Booms behind the green-haired boy (unexpectedly).

If it wasn’t for puberty, then Izuku could’ve lost his voice by the singlehanded scream of “ALL MIGHT! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!”

(And what’s the point of saying “I stand for justice!” when you can’t stand up in your hero form for five minutes before spewing blood from your mouth?)

All joking aside, when the pro-hero stood in front of Izuku in his rawest form, he had a statement to say for the green-haired boy.

“Young man, I came here to thank you and discuss your question.” What? All Might was giving up his time and energy to speak to him? A quirkless nobody?

Well…colour his demon’s pointed look at the worn-down man, in the richest colours of a rainbow. What does this pro-hero want with Izuku? .

.

.

“If you hadn’t told me about your life or had run into that fight, then I would have been a worthless bystander.” With the movement of his face allowing the thin-skinned cheek muscles to stretch his lips up to his onyx encircled blue eyes, All Might had presented the most sincerely painful smile he could muster in this small snippet of time.

Though, not surprisingly enough, this caught Izuku off guard. His expression paling as he frantically waved his hands about and only managing to utter the words of “N-no! No! It was my fault to begin with! If I hadn’t wasted your time and made you drop the villain t-then--!”

All Might cutting Izuku off mid-sentence was like a miracle out of the ninth circle of hell for (Y/n).

“I’m not done talking,” Hushing the 14 year old, All Might had continued his statement from earlier, “You told me you were powerless, so when I was standing in the crowd—watching this timid, quirkless kid rush into danger.”

The pro-hero paused in trying to find the right words.

“That inspired me to act as well.”

With a hand on his heart, the moment was truly overwhelming for Izuku.

“AND WITH THAT!”

All Might had poofed back into his hero form as soon as the sent his exclamation out to the world.

“I HAVE DEEMED YOU WORTHY OF INHERITING MY POWER!”

(Wait…what?)

The revelation of what the hero had unveiled to both the green-haired boy and his red demon was very confusing to process.

(And when did heroes become so self-righteous? Like jeez, calm down on that ego of yours All Might!)

Taglist:

@glitterfreezed, @izukubabe​, @sweater-weather-seven, @nyanyabisjjj, @quietlegends, @dragonsdreamoffire​, @candybabey​, @honeylavender13​​

CREDITS:

All content and art used within this story belongs to their respective owners. PLAGARISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

Art credits: Dorki-C and @glitterfreezed​

[MASTERLIST OF “My Guardian Demon”]​ [MAIN MASTERLIST]

#Izuku midoriya #Izuku midoriya mha #Izuku midoriya bnha #Toshinori Yagi mha #All Might bnha #all might mha #Izuku midoriya x y/n #Izuku Midoriya X you #Izuku Midoriya X Demon! Reader

[sestra-inestro]

Part of the Team (4/?)

Miniseries for @mushyjellybeans writing challenge. Hope you enjoy it!

Pairings: fem!reader x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Reader returns to the compound after a very long time and you try to adjust to everything again while the team deliberate about what to do with the truth.

Warnings: Angst, lies, nightmares, and amnesia. This gif bc she’s cute. 

The team prepared everything for your arrival back at the compound. They set up your room and they cleaned almost everything, wanting you to feel as comfortable and at home as they could. 

After getting rid of everything that you even remotely enjoyed out of spite years ago, Tony made sure to replace everything and fill your old room with your old decorations and the snacks that you once liked. 

Every time they put a box of your favorite cookie or snack on the self or your favorite drink in the fridge, their hearts twinged a small bit. 

You were such a good friend and you took everything they gave to you, and now you couldn’t even remember it. 

They all in some way hated themselves and they didn’t need Thor to remind them of that. 

You and Nat walked off the quinjet, with her carrying your bags and you carrying what little stuff you could. A little bag of clothes that they peeled off of you in surgery, the toiletries that you have been collecting in hospital and your new medication. 

“Well, nothing looks like it’s changed.” You said, squinting slightly as you looked up at the compound and the sun invaded your vision. 

“Tony actually had a movie room installed.” Nat looked back at you. 

Your eyes widened. “He did?” 

“Yep, now we have proper movie nights after a mission.” Nat’s smile fell slightly, you had been very excluded from those movie nights when it was installed. There were nights when she walked passed the living quarters and you had fallen asleep alone on the couch with movie credits playing. 

“I know the best seat in there, I’ll save it for you.” She winked at you, causing you to blush. 

Walking through the compound to the living quarters, you were met with the team. 

“Welcome back June!” Wanda cheered as she saw you enter, running over to give you a soft hug. 

“Hi!” You said happily. The rest of the team came over slowly and gave you gentle hugs, careful not to hurt your still recovering wounds. 

“It’s really good to have you back here.” Tony said with a nice smile. 

“I’m glad to be home.” You had little greetings with everyone before you moved onto your room. 

Nat led you to a room that was right next door to yours. 

“Is this my room now?” You asked in confusion. Your room used to be up another floor with Clint and Sam. 

“Oh,” Nat said in realization. “Yeah, when we got together we put in a request to have us moved closer together so Tony moved you down here.” She explained. 

“That’s nice.” You smiled at that thought, you did think the rooms were a bit bigger on the lower floors. 

She pushed open the to see a perfectly decorated room, like you had never been moved. 

Photos had been placed on shelves of you and your family, also ones of the team. Your bedding had been replaced and some artwork was laid across the walls. 

“Courtesy of Stark.” Nat said as you stared at the strange abstract artwork. 

“Huh,” you mumbled in response. Looking at all the shelves a shine caught your eye. 

A framed medal stood proud on the shelf, shining under the window light. A tiny circular medal with an A inside it. 

“What’s this?” You ask, mostly to yourself as you lift the face carefully and hold it to close for you to see. 

Nat turned from where she was unpacking your clothes to see you holding the frame. She had it framed the day after you left and set it in her room. She is very proud of you for that and decided that it should be shown off even if you hated it. 

“Oh,” She forgot her words for a moment. “You, uh, you were awarded that a little while ago.” 

You turned to her, surprised and very confused. “Why me?” 

“Because you were a part of a very important and private investigation almost three years ago. It ended a couple of months ago and you and a few others were given a medal.” She explained. “It was a big investigation. And we didn’t know about it. That caused a few problems in the compound.” 

“Was that the misunderstanding that broke us up?” You asked. 

Nat’s body stilled. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to tell you how brutal she was to you. She hated the fact that she caused the most hurt for you. 

“Yes, it was. But that was not your fault.” She got closer to you, watching you observe the medal. “You saved a lot of people. A whole country from corruption.” 

You looked up at her, tears starting to form in your eyes. 

“And you deserve it, June.” Nat lifted her hand to your face, gently caressing your cheek. 

You stood in her embrace, her green eyes connecting with yours, she searched your eyes for the emotions that you were feeling, she hoped to read you. 

You couldn’t help but lean into her. You felt the need to be as close to her as you could. 

She leaned into you as well, your lips just touching. But before you could kiss her, she hesitated. 

You pulled back to look at her face and frowned in confusion. 

Nat just gave you a closed-lipped smile and rested her forehead against yours. 

“Believe me, I really want to.” She almost whispered to you. “I really want to. But you just got back.” She swallowed before continuing. “You’re recovering. You barely know me.” 

“I know you perfectly well, Nat.” You said, reassuring her. “And during this relationship, I can get to know you more.” You reached up to her hand on your cheek and put pressure on it, keeping her close. 

She caresses your face, feeling the skin she has so long wanted to feel. She was soaking up this moment, but she had to pace herself and allow you to heal. From everything. 

“Ms. Romanoff, your presence has been requested in the common room.” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice spoke through the room. 

Natasha sighed. She gave you a light kiss on the forehead and gently pulled away from you. 

“I’ll see you later. Get settled back in.” She told you before leaving the room. 

-

“We have to tell her eventually.” Bucky said. 

“And we will.” Tony told him. “But we should really let her settle in first. She just got back and she’s still recovering.” 

Nat nodded. Bucky was right, and so was Tony. She should know but she should be able to feel welcome and know they are sorry when she does know. Both came from the best intentions. 

“But if we wait too long then it will backfire.” Steve gave his thoughts. 

“You’re all right.” Fury said, announcing his presence. “She should know, and when she is ready, she will know. Don’t give it to her to fast, it might confuse her and scare her off. But, try before she remembers it on her own.” 

He turned to Natasha. “I think it might be best if you break it to her, you might be the one she trusts the most at the moment.” 

Nat watched him walk away. The guilt was eating at her and the fear of reliving you walking away from her only fed that guilt. And now, the pressure was added. But eventually, you will need to know. You deserve that much. 

~ 

“June! Get out of there!” 

“He’s going to get away!” 

“He’s not worth your life!” 

Voices were screaming at each other in your mind. Different accents around you and flashing images of people in uniform, a dark building and lots of smoke. 

You saw men running with guns, a tall woman running next to you and the sound of gunshots ringing through the air. 

“Stop! June!” The British tall woman ordered you. 

You stopped, but lights were coming at your face quickly. 

-

You wake with a gasp as the lights made impact. Sweat dripped down your neck and made you feel bothered. 

You sat up and threw off the covers, quickly moving your feet to the door and walking at. 

Your knuckles rap on Natasha’s door quickly before opening it. 

“Nat.” You whimpered, closing the door behind you. She was already out of the bed and standing. 

Without thought, she opened her arms for you, which you immediately run into.

You let the tears flow into her singlet as her fingers went o your hair and massage your scalp. 

“Shh, it’s okay.” She nuzzled into your hair. “C’mon. Sleep in here.” 

She gently pulled you to her bed, climbing in with you. She wrapped herself around you to keep you safe and warm. You kept your forehead and nose pressed against her chest, breathing in her scent and allowing yourself to calm down. 

You feared the unknown, but what you did know was that it was safe and comfortable with Nat, and those longing feelings were never going away. 

Nat quietly whispered in your ear sweet words, lulling you to sleep and running her fingers through your hair. 

And that’s where you slept for the next couple of months. 

With Nat.

Tags: Please show some love by reblogging, liking and commenting. I really appreciate it, my loves. 

@geekysimmerthings​ / @blackluthxr​ / @panoramahearts​ / @lesbiiionist / @ludwigvonbaethoven​ / @cdc-1996​ / @sexysamsungl​ / @daniellajocelyn​ / @90skid018​ / @solaettristis​ / @5aftermidnight​ / @booksandlighters​ / @romeo-the-cactus​ / @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ / @ashadash0904​ / @perrythefrickinplatypus​ / @ess0h​ / @hollandsaetre​ / @mrlilcan​ 

#fem!reader x natasha #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #fem!reader x natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #avengers x reader angst #avengers angst #bucky barnes angst #tony stark angst #steve rogers angst #avengers x reader #ems250challenge

[mistage1]

Democrats gained’t Work With Marjorie Taylor Greene. Tonight, They Play Baseball along with her.

WASHINGTON — On Wednesday night, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene will take the field with the Republican congressional baseball crew, becoming a member of the ranks of more than a century’s worth of lawmakers living their predominant league desires in the name of charity and bragging rights. The video game — seven innings on a huge league field — is a Washington subculture from an prior period, marked with the types of odes to bipartisanship that both cause eyes to roll or people to admit that yes, it’s vital in any case to bear in mind that lawmakers are americans too. And the lawmakers take it very severely: They’ve been practicing each day before crack of dawn, and participants of both teams have waxed poetic leading as much as the video game about how first rate a pitcher former consultant Cedric Richmond changed into before he became poached by using the West Wing. After the 2017 shooting that centered a Republican follow and essentially killed house Minority Whip Steve Scalise, the game has bridged our present period of violence and polarization with a special one. however isn’t it ordinary, I’ve been asking Democratic lawmakers, to play in opposition t Greene in a charity online game about bipartisanship — given, you comprehend, all of it? Greene become only 1 of 147 Republicans who voted in opposition t certifying the effects of the 2020 election after the Jan. 6 rebel, but she’s been among the loudest cheerleaders of false election conspiracies. every apartment Democrat and 11 Republicans voted to strip Greene of her committee assignments in only her 2d month in Congress due to her historical past of racist remarks and comments she had made earlier than her election in support of violence in opposition t Democrats. within the months seeing that, she’s careworn Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Cori Bush to the extent that Ocasio-Cortez raised security issues and Bush selected to stream her workplace away from Greene’s “for [her] team’s security,” voted in opposition t awarding Congressional Gold Medals to the Capitol police officers who responded on Jan. 6, and compared coronavirus restrictions to the Holocaust. but contributors of the Democratic roster generally seemed miffed that I’d questioned if politics could get within the way of a bunch of politicians enjoying baseball. “I think here is one of the crucial instances that, you know, notwithstanding I nevertheless am mad at many contributors — Republican participants that supported as a minimum the concept behind the rebel when it comes to overturning the election — that we’re going to simply focus on the game,” Arizona Rep. Ruben Gallego stated. He in fact isn’t involved about Greene’s ability on the field, either. “If she plays baseball as dangerous as I noticed her shoot the M82, I don’t believe she’s gonna be a extremely valuable baseball player,” he talked about, relating to a crusade ad the place Greene shoots a Prius with a 50-caliber rifle. in keeping with a request for remark for this story, Nick Dyer, a spokesperson for Greene, noted in an email, “Over 70 Democrats have signed up to expel Congresswoman Greene from Congress and each Democrat voted to eliminate her from committees. Who definitely are the aggressors? who is basically being nasty?” Dyer went on guilty Greene’s series of public confrontations with Democratic members on Democrats, including Rep. Eric Swalwell who he stated had had a “intellectual breakdown within the Capitol” and delivered, “​​It’s time so that you can be taught to be an genuine journalist in its place of a gossip columnist.” Swalwell, a different Democratic participant, in comparison the baseball video game to the Olympics, the place international locations with many changes come together to have a good time sports, and to former president George W. Bush throwing the first pitch at Yankee Stadium after 9/eleven. “I don’t want politics to, you know, be a part of the game,” he mentioned. Tom Williams / CQ-Roll call, Inc by the use of Getty photographs Steve Scalise hugs Raul Ruiz throughout the 57th annual Congressional Baseball online game at Nationals Park on June 14, 2018. Rep. Mike Doyle of Pennsylvania, one of the vital Democratic crew’s two managers, mentioned he and a lot of different players have made pals with Republican members during the baseball video games and that they “are attempting to put as a great deal of that behind” them as they can. “without doubt, we have very powerful disagreements not handiest about what took place on Jan. 6, however on different issues, too,” Doyle spoke of all the way through an interview ahead of the game. “but here's one day within the yr that we try to placed on an honest demonstrate for the americans that are available in the stands and buy a ticket, realizing that that money is eager about the charities that we help.” nevertheless, Doyle recognizes on some level that this is a special variety of 12 months, with an never-ending pandemic and a former president who insists, with the support of allies like Greene, that the election become stolen from him. “We’ll see,” he introduced. “i know that our intent isn’t to go in there angry. Our intent is to head in there and beat them on the baseball box.” As is lifestyle, the online game will raise cash for a number of charities within the DC enviornment, together with the USA Capitol Police Memorial Fund. The fund was delivered to the charities a few years in the past, following the shooting of Scalise, a lobbyist, a staffer, and a member of Scalise’s security, right through practice the day earlier than the 2017 game; devoid of the Capitol cops within the aspect returning the shooter’s fireplace, it’s very possible the follow would have develop into a mass casualty adventure. The fund is bleakly, freshly important again this yr. not yet 9 months have handed considering the fact that the Jan. 6 riot, when five americans, including one police officer, died all through or almost immediately after the assault. four law enforcement officials, together with one Capitol Police officer, who responded have died by way of suicide in the months because. whereas i used to be reporting this story, Greene thrust herself into the information yet once more, this time starting a screaming in shape about abortion on the Capitol steps, when she yelled to a group of Democratic contributors gathered for a press conference to “stand with girls.” Democratic Reps. Pete Aguilar and Debbie Dingell snapped again; the former referred to as Greene “performative,” and the latter informed her to “practice the simple component you’re taught in church: admire your neighbor.” Tom Williams / CQ-Roll call, Inc via Getty pictures Greene screams at Rep. Debbie Dingell (off digital camera) all through a construct returned superior for girls rally held via Democrats on the condo steps of the united states Capitol on Sept. 24. Later the equal day, on Twitter, Greene quote-tweeted Dingell, writing, “ALL apartment Democrats are evil and may kill unborn toddlers the entire way as much as birth & then celebrate.” In yet another tweet the next morning, Greene wrote, “Dingellberry is like one of those disturbing little items of 💩that adheres on a ways too long.” but Aguilar, a member of the Democratic baseball crew, stated he doesn’t suppose it will be awkward to see her once more on the field. Like lots of his colleagues, he observed he might be concentrated on successful the video game, however he gained’t be stunned if Greene picks up the fight again throughout the online game. “She naturally loves the highlight and likes to yell at her colleagues when the cameras are round, so i would imagine with the cameras being on she'll continue to do the same,” he mentioned. Aguilar has performed on the crew when you consider that he became elected seven years in the past. He said he remembers smartly the camaraderie forged between Democrats and Republicans in the video games following the shooting on the Republican observe. however this yr, he confessed, doesn’t consider the same. “loads of our colleagues on the different group were on the condominium ground with me, and they voted no longer to certify the election after a mob tried to storm the Capitol and kill us,” Aguilar talked about all the way through an interview Tuesday afternoon. “So I consider that half’s a bit complicated, in the event you beginning thinking about how we got here collectively after that one incident after which how divided we're after this incident. … It’s difficult to wrap your intellect round.” Aguilar sits on the committee investigating Jan. 6. He wonders if his Republican colleagues examine him otherwise now too. Rep. Jared Huffman of California additionally referred to this year feels odd to him. “we've performed this online game throughout tricky political moments. We performed it within the shadow of the awful taking pictures of Steve Scalise — but this appears like essentially the most surreal second of all, and this online game, you be aware of, doesn’t ensue in a vacuum,” he pointed out. “It occurs within the context of what’s happening within the nation’s capital and in the nation itself.” The lawmaker struggled to discover the appropriate words to explain how he felt about taking part in towards Greene, notably concerning Jan. 6. “It may also be, you know, what’s the correct be aware? Awkward, extreme, creepy. I don’t be aware of,” he stated. “I actually hope we can discover a second of charitable commonplace cause and nonpartisanship. That’s what this game has all the time been about, and it’s what most of us love about it.” Early Tuesday morning, at a container in northeast DC flanked by security guards, a handful of Democratic lawmakers gathered for their 2d-to-last follow earlier than the big day. Rep. Linda Sánchez of California, who changed into sporting purple streaks in her hair, has played on the crew for 19 years. We stood alongside the primary final analysis, observing her colleagues take hacks at crisp batting observe pitches thrown through a staffer. “It’s harder to come into the office day by day and be round americans that you should’t believe,” Sánchez stated when I asked even if the assault — and the sympathy a few of her Republican colleagues have shown for the insurrectionists — affects how she’s thinking concerning the online game this year. but, she added, “On a baseball field, you’re focused on the game.” Sánchez paused as an additional Democrat passed by means of and handed her her glove, which he’d been the usage of to snatch fly balls within the outfield, before she persevered. “so that you don’t in fact feel about that. but yeah, I imply, Jan. 6 is seared into everybody’s collective reminiscence. I still have nervousness as a result of that.” Then she started to choke up. ● Sep. 29, 2021, at 17:28 PM Correction: 4 police officers have died with the aid of suicide in the months on account that Jan. 6. An past edition of this story miscategorized the officers. 먹튀검증

#먹튀검증

[bobbystompy]

My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids” 

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* -  though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion 

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end). 

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren���t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

#machine gun kelly #bts #selena gomez #hayley williams #the menzingers #rtj #run the jewels #the weeknd #the dirty nil #mac miller #mgk #juice wrld #phoebe bridgers #2020 #music #lists #taylor swift #sincere engineer #jay-z #sam russo #jay electronica #100 gecs #charli xcx #blink-182 #pup #travis barker #megan fox #billie eilish #soccer mommy #drake