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lovelettersfromluna · 6 months

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Supercut

Summary: “In my head, I play a supercut of us.”

an: halfway through writing this I decided that this isn't technically the finale hehe, more of cam girl!Ellie come, this is just the end of them being stupid. mwah mwah love you all more than you know.

Warnings: SMUT!! 18+, MDNI, angst, cam girl!ellie, Ellie is a real idiot in this one tbh, arguing, hurt/eventual comfort, toxic!Ellie, tribbing, making out, pet names, this one is a little short im sorry, lmk if I missed anything!!!

Read part 1 here, and part 2 here!

You know that gross feeling you get whenever you look back at old pictures or videos? You know, the one that you feel at the pit of your stomach, and it makes you really happy but also really sad? What's that called again?

Oh, right. Its melancholy

It's that feeling where you have a specific memory, and you know that no matter what, that time is gone. You can't replicate it, and the only place that it will live is in the confides of your own mind

And it sucks, because you don't even know when those moments are going to be made. There's no warning in your brain that the day you have planned is going to be so impactful to your life, that you will constantly chase that feeling, trying to replicate what it was that made that time so blissful so that you can feel that same warmth again.

You don't even get the chance to savor it while it lasts.

It almost makes you feel like you never wanted those times to happen to begin with, because you would have been fine without them. Sacrifice one of the times of your life so that you wouldn't have to spend countless nights laying in bed, only hoping that you will experience something that can even come close to how it all felt in the past.

Most of the time, it's easy to simply look back at those memories, feel that disgusting mixture of happiness and sadness, and then move on.

But for some god awful reason, you can't seem to do that this time.

This time, it lingers. It sits there, knocking at your chest, demanding to be acknowledged, to have all of your undivided attention, giving you no choice but to think about how fucked up this all is, how all of this was a complete and utter mistake, and how you have no way in taking it back.

It makes you wish time travel was real, yearning for some mad scientist to come out and say 'look everyone! you can reverse the mistakes you've made in the past!'.

But that doesn't happen, and you have no choice but to live with the icky feeling that settles at the pit of your stomach, and refuses to go away.

You weren't entirely sure what would happen after that night with Ellie, the night that she laid her weight on top of you, fucking you into her mattress over and over again, whispering the sweetest words into the nape of your neck, holding you the entire night through once you were finished, silence overcoming the space as you both fell into a blissful sleep.

It was hard to really tell where you both stood, but you weren't an idiot.

You knew, that you and Ellie had made love that night.

It was truly like nothing you had ever experienced. It was like you were constantly in that delicious state before sleep, where the world is soft, and everything is so comfortable right before you reach the point of unconsciousness, and everything feels so utterly perfect.

That's what it felt like, and you knew that from the moment Ellie had pulled you against her chest, and pressed a soft kiss to your head before you both fell asleep.

It happened, but God....you really wished it hadn't.

Because now? Things were so much fucking worse.

The feeling Ellie gave you scared you, and it made the ugliest thoughts fill your head when you woke up. You felt wrong, the skin on your body feeling filthy for doing something so intimate with her, with your roommate. You felt like you were taking something that wasn't yours, something that was never meant for you in that way.

So you ran.

Not far, of course. You were lucky enough to wake up before Ellie, gently peeling yourself from her body, your stomach sinking whenever she mumbled something gently in her sleep, her hands mindlessly reaching for your body before she fell back into her deep slumber.

You stood over her for a moment, watching as her eyes flickered in her sleep, lips parted as she snored gently. The feeling you had when you watched her sleep scared you, because you felt...like you wanted to stay with her, protect her, hold her in your arms and ignore the reality of how much this was fucking with your head, ignore the fact that she had simply wanted help with her work.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

You inhaled deeply before you left her room, closing her door gently before you quickly went to your bedroom, tugged on a t shirt and jeans before you grabbed your jacket and left the apartment.

You stayed out in the city all day, that day. You were like a ghost, trying to sort out the feelings that were settling in your chest, opting to simply ignore them instead. You made sure to leave your phone at home, knowing any texts from Ellie wouldn't do you any good with how you were feeling.

You didn't return home until later that afternoon, the sun setting, slowly casting the familiar darkness of night onto the city that you had come to know. You wished you could stay out longer, avoid the situation more, but it was only gettin colder, and you knew you had to go back to your apartment sooner or later.

When you got there, you were greeted by silence. You don't even hear Ellie's usual music playing from inside her room. You frowned softly, looking around a bit for any signs of the girl there. You looked down, finding that her leather jacket and helmet weren't where they usually were.

Ellie had left too.

You should've been happy at that, giving you even more time away from the girl than planned, yet you can't ignore the ugly tinge of sadness and annoyance that lingers at the back of your throat at the thought of here simply...leaving.

When you got to your room, you quickly grabbed your phone, wishfully thinking that there would be a string of messages from your roommate, asking you where you've gone, and if everything is okay between you both.

But when you unlock your phone, there's nothing there.

Not a single call, or a single text.

And you suddenly realized, that great minds think alike.

So, that's how things go with you and Ellie after that. There isn't a grand scene of love, where you both confess that you had both felt that way from the moment you set eyes on each other, there isn't a happily ever after where you become her girl, and she becomes yours. There isn't any of that, you two simply go from being friends, to barely being roommates.

You guys never speak about it. There's never a conversation that happens to even clear the air, pretending as though that night in her bedroom never happened.

There's a sense of hostility that follows after all of it happens, because Ellie won't even fucking look at you now, let alone stand in the same room as you. If you're in the living room, she's in her bedroom, and if you're in the kitchen, she leaves the apartment to go eat somewhere else.

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, because you can practically feel the hatred she has for you radiating off of her body whenever she's around, and it's a shock to you that you two are still even living together. The Ellie that would once sit in the living room with you, practically tugging your body to sit on her lap, has succumb to someone who barely even exists to you anymore.

And it doesn't even end there.

Ellie never really had girls in and out of the apartment before, even before you and her started filming and having sex. She was pretty strict about letting others into her space, only ever bringing around girls she was dating long term, or her designated filming partner. You never had a problem with it, letting Ellie know time and time again that the place was half hers, and she could bring whoever she wanted.

But that seemingly changed after you and her happened.

Because suddenly, there's a different girl at your apartment every night, and Ellie is fucking them ten different ways into the next month.

And it always happens to be on the nights before you have to wake up early to go in and open the record store.

She becomes relentless.

You first noticed it happening when she breezed past you on a Friday night, clearly dressed up for a night out. You couldn't really ignore the way your core tightened at how fucking good she looked, the feeling quickly overshadowed by the way she yet again left the house as if you weren't sitting right there.

After getting yourself to bed for some much needed shut eye, you were rudely awakened by the sound of your front door slamming open, followed by the sound of tumbling and soft giggles..

Which then slowly turned into the sounds of Ellie fucking a girl in her bedroom that was directly across from yours.

And it kept going, night after night, the sound of Ellie pleasuring another woman was all that you were left with. Not even your headphones on full volume could drown out the banging of Ellies headboard against the wall.

You have never been a jealous person, especially when it came to Ellie and her sex life. However, after what happened between the both of you, and the very clear fact that Ellie was indeed doing it out of spite..

You really couldn't ignore the fire you felt at the pit of your stomach whenever you heard some random girl moaning out Ellie's name to the top of her fucking lungs.

It was then that you came to terms with the fact that enough was enough.

And you had to move out.

It wasn't long until you wouldn't leave your room.

You seriously couldn't stomach the way it felt, being ignored by Ellie, her constant avoidance a reminder of how much of a bad idea it was to agree to filming with her in the first place. If that wasn't enough, constantly seeing her leave the apartment to go meet up with another girl started to hurt even more.

And you really didn't want to face the truth behind that.

There was something unsettling that came with the feeling it gave you, because how could you go from not even batting an eyelash at Ellie walking out of her bedroom with Julia, to feeling tears prickle at the edge of your eyes every time you heard her fucking someone else across from your room.

Because it's cruel, and you know you were wrong to leave her the way you did, but she left too. You knew that what you did was wrong, but surely you didn't deserve all of this? And why would she even want to hurt you like this in the first place? Surely you were the only one that felt this ridiculous conflicting feeling that only brought you stress.

And yet, you only found new ways to torture yourself.

It happens one night after work, you're tired and all you want to do is peel off your clothes and hop into bed.

Opting to grab your laptop, wanting to watch some mindless video on the internet to lull you to sleep, you are suddenly faced with something that had been waiting to haunt you.

A link to one of your videos with Ellie was still on your browser.

She had sent it to you a while ago, wanting to show you how well it was doing, and all the positive feedback that it was receiving, you meant to watch it at the time, but never got around to it. Now, it was sitting there, collecting dust until you decided to open it.

And you knew you shouldn't have, because that chapter of your life has closed, and you intended to keep it fully closed.

But curiosity did kill the cat, didn't it?

You didn't think twice before opening it, the link quickly flashing across your screen and taking you to Ellie's page. The thumbnail is of the two of you, the last video you guys had filmed. Its you, straddling Ellie on her bed, her strong hands gripping your hips, probably forcing you to grind down on her lap.

You feel your core tighten at the sight of it.

You don't look at it much longer, or read the comments either, because you know they will all be asking where you've gone, and whether or not you were coming back.

Instead of closing your laptop and going to sleep like you should have, you kept scrolling through Ellies page. You come to find the usual, seeing that she had been live the past few nights, as well as posted a few videos for her viewers to catch up on, none of it out of the ordinary.

Something does catch your eye however.

Its a video that was posted a few nights ago, and you can barely make it out, but you can see a thumbnail of Ellies tattooed hand pushed between a girls thighs, doing what you can only assume to be fingering her.

And that girl is definitely not you.

She had found herself a new partner.

It’s no shock that she did. She’d been actively fucking other girls, someone in and out of your apartment almost every night, something that she had made sure to make very clear to you…

But there was just something about actually seeing it that hurt like hell

You slammed your laptop shut, a bit too hard, but you were suddenly filled with something foreign to you, something that you hardly felt for anyone.

Quickly grabbing you blankets and tugging them over your body, you squeezed your eyes shut to try and erase the image of Ellie with another girl from your brain, the image slowly tainting the deepest corners of your mind so that you won't ever be able to do just that.

You couldn't do this anymore.

Ellie was just as bad at talking about her feelings as you were.

Because the morning after you and her had sex, she wanted nothing more than to wake up with you, kiss you, hold you, move on from this agonizingly slow phase that you two were in, where she was allowed to do the things that she always wanted to do, just conditionally.

She wanted to wake up, and move forward whatever the fuck you and her were stuck in.

But you didn’t. You simply woke up before her, and left, leaving Ellie to feel like a fucking idiot.

Because maybe she read into the entire thing wrong, maybe you didn’t feel anything for her, maybe you really did only see her as your roommate and nothing more than that….

Maybe that look in your eye that she was sure she saw when she was fucking you, was all in her head.

So when you ran, she did too.

And soon, Ellie’s sadness turned into anger, and all she wanted to do, was hurt you the same way that you hurt her.

She wanted you to hear her with other girls, she wanted you to see her with other women on her streams, she wanted you to see what it was that you’d lost, what you’d stupidly lost when you decided to run away from her the morning after it all.

But maybe she’d taken it too far.

Because Ellie’s anger turned into something that she didn’t want, because no matter how much noise she made, how good she tried to look whenever she was getting ready to go out with some random girl, no matter what she did to make you jealous, you never batted an eyelash her way, you never once reacted to anything that she did that was directed at you for the sole purpose of getting your attention.

And not only did it further prove to Ellie that you didn’t give a fuck about her, but it also made her so much more frustrated with you.

Did you seriously not have a fucking soul? Could you not even acknowledge her? Hurt for her? Feel hurt by her? Why wasn’t it working? Why weren’t you…..why couldn’t you just…..

Why couldn’t you just fucking want her.

Ellie was truly at her last straw, because being with other women was something she already didn’t like doing, but it was slowly eating away at her, picking away at her insides and making her feel hollow inside, a shell of who she used to be when she was with you.

And when she didn’t think things could get any worse, she found you doing something she only saw in her nightmares.

She hadn’t really noticed it at first, but slowly, your belongings began to disappear from the apartment. Particularly in the living room.

Your stack of blankets would get smaller and smaller as the week went by, the dorky little figures you had littered around different shelves and the tv stand started to disappear too, little parts of you started leaving, one by one, and Ellie was too far up her own ass to even notice.

Maybe if she had, she could’ve convinced you to stay.

In all honesty? Ellie probably wouldn’t even have realized you were leaving until it was too late, the girl far too consumed in her little revenge streak to notice the slow but sure disappearance of you, the way the remnants of you slowly began to leave one by one.

It just so happened that on a day that you were packing up some of your boxes, you had left your door cracked open, thinking that Ellie wasn’t home.

She was passing by your room when she heard a soft huff, the sound quickly catching her attention as she slowly walked towards your door, catching sight of the various opened boxes scattered around your room that was already looking sparse due to packing it all the way.

That. That was the straw the broke the camels fucking back.

Because suddenly, Ellie is pushing your door open, the force from her hand making it slam against your wall, the loud sound making you flinch to look over in her direction with wide eyes.

“Ellie?” You question softly.

The sound of her name rolling off your tongue makes a shiver run down her spine, because god….had she missed the way you said it.

Her eyes are angry, eyebrows furrows together as her eyes scan your room, looking at the boxes, your half empty closet, your empty book shelf.

“What the fuck is going on here?” She spits out, her tone making you wince slightly. It’s the first time you’ve heard her speak to you in almost an entire month and it’s so fucking hostile, so pointed.

This really wasn’t how you wanted this to go.

You let out a soft sigh, bringing your palm up to ran along your face as you look down at the boxes as well, heart sinking at the thought of going.

“Look…Ellie…I was planning on telling you…I just-“ she’s quick to cut you off, walking further into your bedroom as her eyes scan the walls, watching as they began to grow emptier and emptier the further in she looked. She scoffs, her green eyes finally landing on yours, her smoldering grip enough to take your breath away.

“Bull-fucking-shit. You weren’t going to tell me anything, and you know that” she argues, nostrils flared as she stares at you with eyes filled with that same glare of hate that you saw every time she’d glaze over you within recent weeks.

And she was right. You had no intention of telling her anything. She would learn that you were gone once you were gone, because that’s what you did.

You always ran.

You let out a sigh of defeat before you step away from her, fully intending on continuing packing. You didn’t want this to stop you, or put anymore obstacles in your way of leaving. This was what you had to do, and you knew that.

“I can’t stay here anymore, Ellie…things are fucked up between us and I just…I won’t deal with it anymore” you mumble out, your voice tired, weak. A clear indication of how you felt towards the entire situation. It was draining you, and you knew that for your own well being, you had to get out.

The sight of you packing as if she wasn’t in your room, trying to figure out why you were leaving, makes her even more upset. It blinds her from your words, from the weakness in your voice, in your appearance. She ignores it because the anger she feels is much easier to indulge in.

"So that's it? You're just gonna leave? Without saying anything to me?" she barks out, her tone making you feel worse than you already do.

And then it all stops, because why the hell are you feeling bad when this isn't even your fault.

You slowly turn to Ellie, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare at her in disbelief, cocking your head to the side slowly before you start to speak.

"Are you listening to yourself right now, Ellie? Do you ever stop to think for one second that not everything is about you?" The tone of your voice is so calm, words so slow and articulated, it barely even sounds like you're mad.

And it scares you, and it scares her.

You don't stop there, you couldn't even if you wanted to.

"This wasn't my idea, none of it was. I agreed to help you because you asked it of me, and I clearly have no fucking sense of boundaries. I get that what I did was wrong, and I shouldn't have left you that morning, but no one is fucking perfect" You defend, your own breath become more shallow the more you speak, your anger and frustration finally rising to the surface.

"This isn't good for me. You aren't good for me, you've been fucking different girls every goddamn night just to hurt me, and you're a fucking liar if you deny it." you spit out, making Ellie wince slightly, yet her eyebrows never unravel from how furrowed they are, and the frown on her lips is still there.

When you said it out loud though, she realized just how bad it was.

"I did it to get your fucking attention...not to hurt you" She barely whispers, staring down at you. You can't help but laugh softly, scoffing at her words before you give her a gentle sigh.

"Oh it got my attention, Ellie. It got it so much, that I can't bare for you to have it anymore..." you mumble out softly before you turn away from her, unable to stare into her eyes for any longer.

"I don't know what happened between us that morning...but I want nothing more than to just..forget about it all" You let out meekly, feeling yourself reduce to that small ball of insecurities once again.

And Ellie finally softens when she sees it, because you never let your guard down this much.

She inhales deeply, taking a step towards you, trying to get closer to you. You don't step back, or flinch, you simply ignore her, carrying on to pack your things as if she wasn't there, standing above you.

"You hurt me too...you know" she mumbled out, her voice finally dropping that hostile tone that she had when she first walked in. You're quick to turn towards her, spinning around to set your eyes that were quickly growing redder by the second.

"And Im sorry!" you shout, your voice going the loudest it had yet, it makes Ellie flinch.

You sigh out tiredly before you bring your hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "If I could go back and do it differently..I would..but too much has happened, Ellie...I don't..." you trail off, struggling to find the proper words before you sigh softly, finally speaking again.

"I don't see you the same way, anymore" you mumble out.

This makes Ellies heart seize up, because what do you mean by that? What are you trying to tell her?

You move to sit on your knees, you bare legs coming in contact with the cold, wooden floor as you begin packing more things in a different box. There's no more fighting, there isn't anymore arguing, or anger, it's just silent, the occasional sound of your clothes hitting each other when they hit you settle them in the box. You don't even bother to turn around and yell at Ellie, or even tell her to get out.

And maybe thats what's hurting her the most. You never yelled, you didn't cry or beg, you didn't do anything when she knew you heard her, saw her with those other girls. All of them were nothing to her, sorry attempts at trying to grab hold of your attention again, get you to show just a little bit of fucking anger, so that she knew you still felt something for her, so that she knew she still had you.

But it was clear to her with the way that you disregarded her after it all, as if she didn't even matter, that she didn't have you anymore.

Did she ever? Did she ever have a chance with you? Was she all in her head? Were you simply just a good friend? A decent roommate who promised to help her out when she needed help? Was all of it just....

Pretend?

She feels like she's running out of options, because she assumed that if anything, you two would fight and end up in a heated, passionate love making session where you two would admit what you had felt all along.

But Ellie was slowly coming to the conclusion that she was being fucking delusional.

Her decisions didn't let up thought, because soon, she's on her knees next to you, grabbing your wrists gently in her hands and pulling you to face her. She feels her heart break when you refuse, trying to pull away from her grasp, mumbling soft complaints of how you needed to finish packing.

When she finally tugs you a bit harder, forcing you to look at her, she feels the weight of her mistakes finally settle on her chest, because you're crying. Your eyes are puffy and your cheeks are stained, and it's all her fucking fault.

She bites back a whimper, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth as she feel her own throat burn with tears.

"Hey...look at me...come on...where's my pretty girl...come on.." She tries over and over again, voice breaking, making you whimper as you try tugging your arms from her grasp.

"Don't you see how fucked up this is, Ellie? We were just screaming at each other and now...now you're calling me your girl" you plead with her, the words bubbling past your lips as the mere sight of here forces more tears from your eyes, making it harder and harder to talk.

Ellie can't talk her way out of this one, not with you. She knows there isn't much she can do, or say, and she feels like she's all out of options, because you're right. All of this is so fucked up, and it makes her insides burn because she's hurt, and you're hurt, and it feels like there's nothing she can do to fix it.

She does the only thing she feels will work. She kisses you.

It's filled with everything. Passion, longing, happiness, sadness, anger, everything that had been pent up between the both of you is poured into the kiss, and it's enough to make you feel dizzy.

But you don't pull away, you melt into her, just like you always do. She feels it too, feels the way you let you defenses down, taking it as a chance to tug your wrists up and around her neck, her own arms resting on your hips as she pulls you closer, her lips working against yours.

"Im....fuck...im so sorry, baby....never meant to hurt you" She mumbles against you, her words coming out as a breathy sigh against your lips, making you moan softly against her. She pushes her tongue into your mouth, giving your waist a soft squeeze.

"M'sorry too..Ellie....shouldn't have left..." You whine against her, and she's quickly shaking her head, gently tugging you up to stand with her before she's pulling you too your bed.

"Just...lemme take care of you..alright" She hums against your lips before she gently pushes you back to lay on your bed, her own body crawling over yours, resting her weight on your body as she goes back to kissing you.

It's so slow, and sensual, and it feels like the entire world is quiet, like you're fading into her, and she's fading into you, and you both are becoming one. It feels so fucking right, and the hole that had been growing in your chest is finally filling up, the essence that is Ellie slowly acting as the medicine that you needed all along.

Ellie rolls over, gripping your hips and tugging you to straddle her waist as she lays back against your bed. Her green eyes eat you up, strong hands already running along your hips and thighs, giving you a squeeze before her hand creeps up your t shirt, pushing it up a bit before it slips under, grasping your boob and massaging it in her hands.

"Fuck...look at you...missed you so much, pretty girl....you can't even imagine.." She sighs softly under her breath, eager hands roaming your body hungrily, as if they've deprived of you for so long, missing the way your skin spilled out from under her hands, always so responsive for her.

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch her practically worshiping your body with her hands, a soft whine leaving your lips as you rest your hands on her hips, pushing up her t shirt a bit as your thumbs rub small circle into her pale hips.

Her hands rest on your hips, forcing you to grind down onto her lap, making you whine softly, the feeling her her sweats bunching up right at your core, your cotton pajama shorts leaving much too room to be exposed by her touch.

She sits up, grabbing the hem of your shirt before she tugs it off your body, groaning softly as her lips immediately latch onto your nipple, biting and sucking. You moan softly, arching your back a bit and forcing more of you to her mouth, hands wrapped around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck.

Ellie pushes you back, resting you to lay down before she tugs your pajama shorts and panties off in one go. You promptly spread your legs for her, letting her settle between them, the small gesture making her groan, her strong hands gripping your thighs, grinding against your bare pussy.

"Fuck...such a good girl for me..." she sighs softly against your lips.

You whine, reaching down and tugging at her own pants, fumbling with the waistband of her shorts that hung oh so fucking low.

"Off..wanna feel you.." You moan softly against her, resulting in a soft chuckle from her. She presses one last kiss to your lips before she nods.

"Whatever you want baby...fuck" she mumbles softly under her breath when she pulls back to start tugging her own clothes off, catching a glimpse of your soaking wet pussy and naked body in the dim light of your room.

She looks so fucking desperate, nearly tripping over her sweats as she tugs them off, tossing them somewhere else in your room. It's like she can't get the clothes off quick enough, immediately settling between your legs again once she's naked, groaning softly a the feeling of your pussy against her body.

Her eagerness makes you giggle, and Ellie feels like she's on cloud fucking nine when she hears it, so soft and gentle. She pouts softly, staring down at you while she's already moving to position her pussy over yours, tossing your leg over her shoulder.

"What are you laughing at...hm?" She questions softly, her hips slowly moving against yours as she lets out a soft moan, eyes never leaving yours.

You can barely get the words out, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel her slick pussy against yours, clits bumping together in a way that has you nearly salivating.

She chuckles above you, a soft groan following the noise as her lips graze along your calf.

"Thats what I thought...fuck....your pussy is too fuckin good, princess' She moans out softly, her hips moving slowly against yours.

You moan loudly, your hand coming to grip her thigh as you move your hips in tow with hers.

"F-fuck, Ellie....you...that feels so good" you babble out, your other hand gripping the sheets beneath you as she fucks her pussy down onto yours.

Ellie smirks softly as she watches you, watches the way you fall apart beneath her.

"Thats my fuckin girl....you're the only fucking one I need...fuck...." She groans, turning her head a bit to kiss your calf again before her teeth sink into you, biting and sucking your skin, making you moan loudly.

You feel her speed up, hips growing desperate as she chases both hers and your orgasm, making your head spin as your nails dig into her thigh, sure to leave marks in the morning.

"Im....god...Im close Ellie.....fuuuckkkk....dont stop" you gasp out, low, lust filled eyes staring up at her as she continues bullying your pussy with hers, both of your arousal squelching together, making the most explicit noise you've ever fucking heard.

"Come on baby...want you to cum for me...can you do that? Fuck...I feel it too....that's it, pretty girl.." Ellie is babbling too, her lust clouded braun barely uttering words that are comprehensible.

You see her eyes squeeze shut, her moans getting louder and more high pithed, sounding so fucking pretty above you.

You feel like you'll explode, your back arching as the familiar feeling settles in your core, your pussy getting wetter and wetter as you feel your orgasm grow closer.

"A-ah! Ellie!" You scream out as you come undone beneath her.

And she isn't far behind, leaning down and crashing her lips against yours, forcing you to swallow her moans as she cums hard against your pussy, the both of you breathing hard as her hips sputter, pussy sliding around sloppily against yours as she becomes so fucked out, that she loses her rhythm completely.

And just like before, she lays there, on top of you, trying to catch her breath, face tucked against your neck, hands keeping you close, as if you'll disappear in thin air at any given moment.

There's so much going through your head, trying to figure out what it is that happens from here, where you and here go, what steps to take after, all of which come up with blank answers whenever you try to figure out what to do.

You assume she will fall asleep on you as she did before, knock out immediately and leave you to lay there with your plaguing thoughts.

She doesn't, though. You hear a soft hum from her lips, her hands squeeze your waist gently, before she speaks against your neck.

"I love you...so much.." she sighs out, her voice breaking a bit as if shed break down at any given moment.

You aren't sure what you'll do from this point on, but you do know one thing.

You won't run away from Ellie, ever again.

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie x y/n #ellie the last of us #ellie x you

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targaryen-dynasty · 10 months

Text

DEPRAVITIES.

Prince Regent!Aemond Targaryen x female!Reader

When your husband feels overwhelmed reining in the stead of the severely wounded King, it is your duty as his wife to comfort him.

WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT–MINORS DNI; profanity, lactation kink, lactating, pregnant reader, p in v, cuckolding, degrading, humiliating, tiddy slapping hehe, blink and you'll miss the size kink, very brief breeding kink, female Reader, Prince Regent Aemond

WORDS: 1.8 K

NOTES: Re-posting something I really enjoyed writing before going on hiatus.

Credit for the center piece goes to @justkwordme on twitter.

When the Great Hall slowly cleared, it was your turn to approach your husband, still seated on the large Iron Throne and the Conqueror‘s Crown atop his silver-blonde mane.

His shoulders and head dropped slightly with the heavy doors falling shut behind the last person leaving, clearly displaying all the pressure that rested on them. Your lips had dropped as well, into a pout that showed the pity you held for him.

You approached him with slow, careful steps not to startle him as if you were a hunter stalking towards its prey, not making a sound to strike in an ambush.

And when your hand eventually brushed his shoulder, he released a long sigh.

Without either of you saying anything, you positioned yourself onto his lap, straddling his thighs with your arms wrapped around his neck and the skirts of your dress rucked up around your hips.

Ever since you got pregnant, you hadn’t touched any of your normal dresses–the fabric either too heavy or too tight for your changing body. Lighter dresses with much less embroideries and other decorations filled your closets, a new one being fitted to your growing bump and breasts at least every fortnight.

Much to your husband’s delight, since he was utterly infatuated seeing your body swell because of him–or much more his seed.

Aemond fully embraced your advances and the position, head tipping forwards to rest his forehead against your swollen bosom, enjoying the simple proximity and comfort you brought.

Your marriage with him hadn’t always been like that, starting cold and with him showing no emotions other than the sense of duty for your arranged marriage.

Only after you both had learned Aemond had put a child into you, something primal in him set itself free, making him protective of you… but also obsessed.

Your pregnancy was nearing the seventh moon, and your breasts were swollen enough for your back to ache from the weight and for your feet to hurt with each step. It was rare you even left your marital chambers, mostly laying in bed with your feet positioned atop a few pillows.

The dowager queen had told you it was normal for a woman carrying a Targaryen offspring to experience such terrible side-effects during their pregnancy, as both she and her daughter had shared the same fate many times before.

You believed her–but only because you didn’t have another choice.

Your breasts were hot and tender to the touch and already swollen to the point one easily overfilled Aemond’s large hands. And just like now, they always tended to strain against the low cut necklines of your dresses, the fabric cutting into the skin and making your flesh appear to spill over it. That had earned you the curious glances of more than one man of court, much to your husband’s dismay.

The swell of your belly put some distance between your bodies, and Aemond had his hands planted on either side of it–a habit he had picked up rather quickly with your unborn babe starting to kick just mere nights ago.

When he pressed his chiseled lips to the exposed and flushed skin over your breasts in a soft kiss, the familiar warmth spread throughout your body, settling at the apex between your legs. It was a subtle movement as you ground your hips down on his, but still enough for Aemond to groan against your body.

A dark-blown pupil gazed up at you with his eye widened slightly, the lilac almost completely eclipsed by black, not having to say anything for you to know what he wanted.

You gave him a reassuring nod, and in no time, he had pushed the neckline of your dress down enough to free not one, but both your breasts out of their confines.

From the heavy sigh you released it was clear you felt relieved already, more so when his lips wrapped around one of your hardened buds. But the familiar stimulation of his fingers around the other one was missing–until you eventually felt his hand eagerly undoing the laces in the front of his breeches.

It was difficult for him to do so with you sitting on top, so you slightly raised your hips, allowing him to pull out his hard and throbbing cock.

You were surprised he went that far, especially because you were in the Throne Room with the possibility of someone barging into the room–but you also were excited.

“Aemond,” you spoke softly. “We cannot.”

Though your words were a weak attempt to protest, there did not really come any objection from you as he fisted himself between your bodies, yours already craving what your mind still needed to process.

He pulled back from you with a lewd pop, just a bit of your milk resting in the corners of his mouth. It was obscene, but in your eyes he had never looked so good. “We can,” he all but barked. “I will have the head of anyone that chooses to interrupt us right now–regardless of who it is.”

With that, he tugged the center of your smallclothes aside enough for his digits to tease your entrance, positively surprised you were already soaked for him and whining at the contact.

“I did not know I have married a whore,” he teased shamelessly, bringing the fingers covered with your arousal up to smear it around the areola of your right breast. “Are you certain my brother did not fetch you from the Street of Silk or Flea Bottom even? Or is everyone in the Reach just as depraved as you are, sweet wife?”

The profanity of his words sent a shiver down your spine, and if there even was a sense of restraint still left in your body, it vanished with your hand entangling into his silver mane to tug his head towards your bosom, clearly wanting to silence him.

“Enough,” you scolded teasingly, biting the tip of your tongue to suppress a smirk from taking over your features.

When you eventually sank down on his throbbing length in one swift movement, you shuddered, and Aemond and you both released a contented moan.

His lips locked around the bud that was covered in your arousal, sucking it in the rhythm your core clenched around him. There was no need for you to move–no, you didn’t even want to–fully satisfied with the way his member was just buried inside of you.

Your head tipped back in pleasure, and you tried your best to stifle your moans, only quiet whines and whimpers leaving your lips at the stimulation.

As the pressure in your breast slowly subsided, you were finally able to feel him suckle, and when you looked down, you were blessed with a sight that was truly created by the Seven.

Aemond’s chiseled lips were wrapped around your little bud, his eye half closed and his cheeks dimpled from the suction, amplified each time he swallowed the bits of your milk.

His tongue flickered over your hardened bud, eliciting a soft moan from the depths of your chest. You were able to feel him throbbing inside of you at the sound, followed by a growl that vibrated through your whole body.

You not-so-gently tugged on his hair again, seeming to spur him on even more, and whined a ‘you will have to do the other as well.’

As he pulled back once again, you couldn’t stop yourself from pouting, which was mended by the sight of him licking over your bud to gather the remnants of your milk–all while he kept his eye locked with yours. No matter how badly you wanted not to moan, you couldn’t stop the sound from spilling past your lips. It was certainly getting a reaction out of you. The possibility of being caught long forgotten.

“Stop being greedy,” Aemond panted, and you just bowed your head in submission and nodded. “You should be grateful.” As if it was not him asking for permission to suck your breasts in the first place.

“Y-Yes,” you mumbled in feigned humility, choosing to play into his game.

“Yes, what?” Aemond asked, serving a slap to your sensitive breast that had you wincing.

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“Better.”

And with that, he locked his lips around your other bud, but not without groping your rear to pull you closer towards him and deeper onto his cock–at least as close as possible with your swollen belly between your bodies.

You sat just right with the hem of his tunic rubbing against your pearl, every lap of his tongue and squeeze of his fingers around your other breast sending a bolt of pleasure straight down between your legs.

But then your hips started to move on their own accord, grinding down on him, riding him while he sucked every last drop of milk from you.

The aching of your back and breasts was long forgotten as you chased your pleasure.

A couple of moments passed until you felt Aemond’s breathing growing labored, his chest almost heaving with more and more muffled grunts and groans escaping his throat. He was loud–much to your surprise–but your body seemed to keen at that, the knot in the pit of your belly tightening at a rapid pace.

And then, you toppled over the edge of your peak with a loud cry of his name.

Your body crouched forward while both arms just wrapped around the back of his neck to pull him closer into your bosom, the coldness of the crown pushing against your collar bone a stark contrast to the heat soaring within your body.

You were trembling astride him, whining when you felt how your peak’s contractions were practically forcing the spend out of your husband’s cock.

Just like he was sucking you dry, you were milking him for every last drop of his spill, too.

And as he spilled inside of you, he released your breast to curse your name and bury his face between your now soft and tender breasts.

There was silence between you safe for your heavy breathing, before you leaned back enough to look down at Aemond. His lips were red and swollen, a soft flush covered his cheeks and neck, and the lilac of his eye was still completely drowned out by black.

Your head bowed forwards to capture his lips in a kiss that was shy of gentleness, the remnants of your milk on his tongue and lips spreading over to yours.

When he pulled back, a sly smirk was draped over his lips–a smirk that couldn’t mean any good.

“Let us retreat to our chambers, wife. I am not yet full.”

Aemond was insatiable, you had learned that very early into your marriage. And that meant you were in for yet another sleepless night, preparing you for what was to come once the babe was born.

1K notes · View notes

moonsaver · 2 months

Note

Hi! It’s @pix3lplays! (On anon because I have another account and I can’t switch which account I’m asking from haha)

I wanted to say thanks for being so nice when I responded to your comment on one of my posts~I really appreciated what you said hehe, definitely made me feel bit more confident and inspired me to keep writing :)

So I thought I’d throw an ask out since requests are open~

If you’re not interested no problem but I’ve thought about it a little and I thought maybe you’d have some thoughts.

Yandere!Sunday when his darling somehow gets seriously hurt, how do you think he’d feel, what would he do?

Personally I think he’s a complete control freak already when it comes to reader, so it just gets WORSE…ANYWAYS I wanna hear YOUR thoughts if you’re interested in the prompt hehe~ also if you’ve already talked about this oops I must’ve missed it, sorry in advance-

But yeah thanks so much, it was really cool to talk to you, take care of yourself, please!!

Hello Pixel! Thank you for sending in this ask, you're very sweet haha <3 i like your writing and im glad i helped you become more confident in it. Also,same issue here, i cant send asks from this account specifically, so i use anon or just use my personal blog to send asks.

Anyways, onto the request,

Ooh, my Yan!Sunday brain is ticking.. he really is an absolute control freak, and is a bit of a mess when he sees you seriously injured. A miscalculation, ignorance, negligence, or perhaps just.. an oversight from his part? Whatever the reason is, he's in high-drive now, and absolutely stressed about it. He only has a worried and distant look on his face, and at this stage he's prone to easily snapping at anyone, but his mind would be on a completely different level of stress. How dare they? How dare anyone lay a filthy inch of a finger on you? To stain you with their sins, and to breach your skin in such a grotesque manner.. he's absolutely enraged.

He insists on tending to you himself personally, unless it's so serious paramedics have to be involved. Stays by your side until he cant, sitting on the egde of the bed, body turned halfway to face you, fingers ghosting the edge of your face with tenderness.

However, this tenderness is only limited to your recovery period.

After you wake up or recover a bit, practically any freedom you would have had is gone. Completely.

Scolds you, borderline yells at you, holds you still with a deathly tight grip on your arms, forcing you to look into his eyes. This happened because you left. This happened because you were out of his watch. This all happened because of your freedom. Don't you dare even bother mentioning going out anywhere. You will be surveillanced almost all the time. He spends a suffocating amount of time next to you, harshly spitting back whenever you try to protest or reason with him. His words aren't gentle at all, and you're getting on his nerves. Perhaps he should just look over you himself, force you into a borderline coma in the dream fluid, and deal swiftly with the perpetrators.

Robin catches wind of this at some point.. she tells you that he's just worried, and there's a lot of people that don't quite hold The Family in high regards. Just.. its okay. Let him do this.

Let him pick out your clothes, brush your hair, check your healing wounds, gently ebb the water over them as you bathe, and kiss the skin of your shoulder when both of you stay silent after another argument.

If you still continue arguing.. he doesn't have a choice. He slumps a bit, a hand coming up to massage his temple as he sighs, and tells you in a softer voice that he's terrified. The worst thing that could happen did happen. He almost lost you. Can't you just go with it and let him be assured? You're dragging it out much more than it needs to be. He's spent many sleepless nights, ideas of dreamscapes turning into nightmares as the image of your hurt face flashes in his mind. Just cooperate, for Aeons' sake.

And no one speaks after that. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates you as a sort of final resort. Surely, you'd understand. It's not like it's far from the truth anyway. He is scared. But more than that, he's enraged this happened in the first place.

Adding on more to it,

Once things calm down.. in a twisted sort of way, he realizes just how perfectly he can get you under his complete control from these events. He may even not so subtly orchestrate similar events to scare you, to keep you in check, forcing you to rely on him completely, as he swoops in at the right time, acting as some kind of a "savior". Its a sick mindset, and he's not ashamed of it. Oh dear, you were just so pleasantly compliant after that event. And it just solidifies his statement that you shouldn't be going outside anymore, or be constantly accompanied by the Bloodhound Family guards, after only a few incidents of various threat levels.

In the end, it's a cycle that repeats up until you finally give in and let him take any and all freedom you have. He sets down your hairbrush with a gentle 'clack', kisses the crown of your head, and tells you it's alright. He will take such good care of you. Just listen to him. Listen to his every word. He has your best intentions in mind. Don't think about anything, anyone. You're a smart girl, surely you understand?

174 notes · View notes

pshcomforts · 3 months

Text

➳ line without a hook | psh.

collegestudent!sunghoon x fem!reader (feat. sanha from astro)

“all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around”

synopsis: you and sunghoon have been friends since high school and though you guys can’t admit it, you two are in love with each other.

warnings/content: written in third pov. college au. friends to lovers. idiots in love. fluff! slight angst? sunghoon gets jealous (i always make him get jealous hehe). happy ending. sickly amount of “loser” & “idiot” used a lot as nicknames. suicide jokes. cursing and not proofread. i think that’s it?

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 6.2k

a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend). another personal oneshot fav.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: line without a hook by ricky montgomery

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

0:32 ──|───────────────── 3:36

the early morning made its peaking cracks of sunshine as y/n arose in her bed.

she rubbed her eyes awake, hands reaching for her phone for the time.

[ 7:48 am ] — it read.

the girl groaned out a sigh. ‘whose idea was it to register for a 9am class again?’ she thought before swiping her screen to check her missed notifications. almost immediately, she jumped out of her blanket when finding a text from her friend, sunghoon.

hoonster :) :

y/n, you awake??

Wake up loser, I’m on the way

You better be awake when I come

“aw shit!” she yelled, pushing her tired body.

in a rush, y/n exhibited loud thuds of footsteps as she ran back and forth from the bathroom to get ready.

“don’t be here yet, don’t be here yet!” she uttered under her breath.

her hands shakily found some casual clothes once she was done with the bathroom area.

just then, her phone furiously buzzed.

“hello??” she spoke.

“hey loser, you ready yet?” she heard sunghoon ask on the other side.

immediately, her heart thumped. she felt the butterflies of a high school type of crush hit her stomach. she swallowed down her feelings for her friend as she murmured, “you’re already here?”

hoon gave a quiet chuckle that exerted more butterflies to flood her abdomen. “yes dummy, i’m waiting at the front of your house. hurry up, we’re gonna be late!”

y/n groaned out a sigh after coming into the realization that her crush was still her asshole friend after all. “okay, okay! i’m coming out now!” she yelled, digging her feet into her favorite shoes before running out.

a few seconds later and sunghoon found the girl he’s liked since high school burst out of her house. a half smile tugged at his lips as he watched her quietly fume out a few words that he figured was most likely about being late.

his eyes formed into half moon crescents in a glistening look, heart and mind directly falling in the thought of being in her presence.

his car doors clicked and in came y/n.

she huffed out a few breaths of air before buckling her seat in. “now why the hell did i choose a 9am class??” her hand reached to her chest, feeling her heart beat like crazy.

sunghoon chuckled. he was in complete love and there was no doubt about that. “because you wanted a class with me, loser.” he joked, hands reaching down to his cup holder.

the girl shot him a glare — “excuse me? you were the one who said ‘let’s do chemistry 2A together,’ and now we’re both struggling!”

he cackled out another laugh as he merged the car into the next lane. “yeah yeah, you know you wanted that class with me.”

y/n huffed out a sigh in annoyance. “hoon, i swear-“

“got you some coffee, i know you’ll probably need it.” he said, quickly cutting her morning anger off.

there it was again. that nervous sensation bubbling inside of her. “you did??” her head tilted down to find her attractive friend hand her the cup of coffee.

this is what friends did right? pick them up? get them coffee? have a class together? surely, sunghoon thought of her just as a friend?

no. the two were idiots in love, but they liked it. the mixed signals. the chemistry. the tension. they loved the game of push and pull, and it became obvious to everyone but them.

“don’t act so surprised,” the handsome male intruded her thoughts. “i’m nice to you.”

y/n automatically scoffed at his words. “nice?? you are anything but nice, park sunghoon.”

the car screeched to a stop with a red light in front of them, causing him to glance back at her. “so if i’m not nice to you, what’s this then? picking you up, hm?” one of his thick brows raised in question as his inner lips softly curled.

the girl had to look away with how handsome he looked. just a simple stare could set her heart off.

“shut up, hoon. we’re friends, this is what we do.” she playfully rolled her eyes as he widened his smile.

“yeah.. friends.” he murmured. his heart lightly sank at the friend zone but he couldn’t dare to do anything else other than stare back at the road. “take the coffee, will you? i need to drive, unless you want us to crash.”

y/n gasped at his suicidal joke but quickly turnt it into a mount of giggles. “do it, sunghoon! crash us! i don’t want to go to chemistry.”

sunghoon immersed into laughter as well, shaking his head at how his favorite girl just joked about death. “sorry, looks like we have to make it through another day of torture.”

she sighed. “fine but if the professor asks why we’re late, i’m blaming you.”

“right back at you,” he snorted with a head shake, causing the girl to nudge his arms.

y/n rolled her eyes before turning her attention to her phone.

jake’s girl 🫂:

are you guys almost here??

sunoo’s been wondering

y/n <33:

almost!

well tell sunoo to hold on bc we still have to find parking!

jake’s girl 🫂:

girl your class starts in like 20 minutes!

jungwon’s bae 🩶:

Just get your butt over here!

hee’s fav 🤍:

hee and i are about to leave before you guys show

y/n <33:

LMFAOO we’ll be there soon!

“hurry up, hoon! they’re waiting!”

sunghoon made a ‘tsk’ noise with his tongue as he said, “i can’t go pass the speed limit here y/n. what do you want me to do?”

she groaned out a sigh before crossing her arms. “geez hoon, you’re driving like a grandma.”

“i’m sorry, speedy, i don’t want to get a ticket this early in the morning.”

the girl smiled as she watched him pull up to a parking spot. “finallyy! you parked far but..,”

“just shut up and walk, loser.” he responded, ruffling her hair before walking out of the car.

she clicked her tongue as she obeyed, slinging her heavy bag around her shoulders. as she did so, she felt the weight suddenly relieve off of her.

y/n turned her direction to where her friend was, and found him carrying her bag.

“hoon what-“

“i can see you practically struggling and well.. you’re weak so i’ll carry it for you.”

she rolled her eyes before letting him in proceed. “that’s sweet but that’s still asshole-like.”

hoon chuckled at her words as he held her bag around his shoulders. “come on, we’re gonna be late.”

the two rushed to their friend group, legs speeding through campus to find them huddled in a corner.

“finally! you guys took so long,” min-su groaned.

y/n laughed before sending a smack to her arms. “shut up, we’re here now!” she yelled back as she gave a soft nudge.

sunghoon chuckled, laying his arm on his friend’s shoulder in comfort. “she woke up late as usual,” he said, ruffling his own hair. “that’s why you don’t see her with her usual makeup on.”

the girl took offending, gasping in shock before harshly hitting his arm. “i hope that bruises, loser!” she cackled out a laugh as she proudly nodded.

hoon rubbed his arm while displaying a smile on his face. “never, i’m too strong.” he teased with a shit eating grin.

the group shared their laughs before ji-woo intruded — “stop being lovey dovey, your class starts soon!”

y/n groaned, ignoring her teasings about her and sunghoon as she replied, “you just had to remind me..,”

“shut up and go!” her friend yelled back, pushing her arm with a wide smile.

soon, y/n, sunghoon, and sunoo walked to their dreaded chemistry class while the others stayed together.

“why don’t we just ditch??” the girl murmured in a pout.

“you know we can’t y/n,” sunoo scowled.

“you guys suck.”

“just stay for the lecture, our exam is next week anyway,” responded sunghoon.

before she could give another remark, the three entered in the class.

with them being a little late, scattered seats filled the room, causing the three to separate. sunghoon and sunoo sat near each other while y/n sat about two seats away from them.

she huffed out a soft sigh as she plopped down. “let’s just go through this for the day..,” she murmured to herself.

hoon glanced at her from afar, pupils basically forming heart shapes in his eyes that had sunoo scoffing. his attention landed on the male who was only shaking his head.

“what?” sunghoon seethed through a clenched jaw.

“nothing.. loverboy.” sunoo snorted in a laugh afterwards, causing an irritating sigh to come out of hoon’s mouth.

“don’t call me that.”

“it fits you, surprised she hasn’t noticed yet with how much you stare at her.”

the older male quietly fumed in his seat, rolling his eyes as sunoo was spurting out every ticklish bone in his body.

“seriously, hoonie” sunoo teased — “she’s gonna notice at some point.”

“shut up,” sunghoon harshly whispered back, hands almost raising to send a smack like y/n always does.

“see? you’re picking up on her habits too.”

right when hoon was about to speak, the professor intruded in with a clear throat, hinting that class would be starting in seconds.

“deny it all you want, but you like the girl.” the younger boy softly said with a lean towards him. “don’t take too long though, someone else might steal her.”

sunghoon’s head popped up. he instantly looked at his friend with confusion/betrayal plastered across his face.

“not me, dumbdumb.” sunoo tilted his head towards y/n. “look who’s talking to her.”

almost immediately, hoon found his close friend talking to sanha — a guy in their class who was a few years older. he sat next to her, taking the empty seat and made small talk towards her.

“sanha??” he repeated the name with a scoff.

“you don’t have to be so obvious about your jealousy.”

“i’m not jealous,” hoon lied, an oblivious amount of red tinted on his ears.

the taller male began to ignore the remaining words sunoo spewed out, tuning it away so he could distract himself from the hurtful sight.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when what felt like long hours had finally passed, students scattered out of the class.

y/n stayed behind as usual, taking her time to gather her things when sanha approached her.

“hey, you said your name was y/n right?” he asked with glistening eyes.

“yeah, yours was.. sanha?”

her response that turned into a question caused a chuckle to erupt out of the tall boy.

“sorry, i have bad memory.” y/n quickly defended, allowing him to holler out a few more laughs.

“you’re okay, don’t worry. i was just wondering if we could exchange numbers? just if you want to have a study session together or something.”

the girl stood still in her stance. she’s never really been approached this way before. even if he was just being friendly, it’s definitely been a bigger step to how guys were upfront with her.

“oh.. yeah, sure!” y/n reached down for her phone and gave him the desired phone number.

it was then that sunghoon and sunoo walked in on the scene. “you ready?” the shorter male asked with lips pressing into a line.

“yeah, let me just finish this up.”

hoon took a quick glance down to her hands; watching how they softly grazed against some strangers burned his heart. he felt his blood boiling at how she was so politely nice to sanha.

“we don’t have all day,” he grumbled, causing a confused and annoyed glare to be shot at him from y/n.

she quickly turned back to sanha with an apologetic smile. “sorry, they’re in a rush more than usual. i’m always the one who has to rush them,” she cheekily said.

the older boy reflected the smile back as he warmly replied, “don’t worry, y/n, i can wait all day for you.”

sunghoon’s ears perked up at his words. ‘what is he trying to do? flirt with her?’ he thought to himself with a clear scoff in his throat.

the puff of air that left his mouth caused the three heads to turn to him. sunoo cackled out a laugh, hands on his mouth to shut himself up with amusement. he hit hoon’s chest while murmuring, “sorry he’s really cranky, he didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed today.”

y/n’s head cocked to the side. ‘but he seemed perfectly fine today,’ she thought. what an idiot.

“um, okay… well just text me when you want a study session.” she said to sanha, who began to furiously blush, pissing sunghoon off even more.

“hurry up, you’re taking a long time.” the boy who was jealous uttered in an eye roll.

she sent a glare towards him before turning her head back to sanha in a smile. “see you soon, sanha.”

he beamed an ear-to-ear grin to her before nodding and taking off from the scene.

“couldn’t have been more obvious that he liked you?” hoon unintentionally blurted in an eye roll.

“are you okay or what? why are you suddenly so bitter?” y/n shot to him with a side eye.

“yeah hoon, what’s wrong? cant handle seeing your friend get hit on?” sunoo intervened, raising his brows ever so slightly to display how much of an asshole he was being. he slung an arm around the girl, bringing her closer in his embrace as they walked out.

sunghoon let out a ‘pft’ before walking side by side with them. “why wouldn’t i be able to handle it? i’m shocked that some guy was even willing to ask for her number.” he said, causing a harsh push to be made from y/n.

“uh do i act like this when some girl asks you out?? no, i help you by giving advice..,” she rolled her eyes, ignoring the burning sensation in her heart before scooting her body closer to sunoo’s — allowing him to just chuckle alongside their bicker.

hoon huffed out a sigh. “can’t give you advice on this one then. sorry, loser.” he murmured. his attempt to play it cool was stupid, but the girl still bought into it with how annoying he was being.

“i didn’t ask for your advice, did i?” y/n snickered, causing another holler to be heard from sunoo.

sunghoon rolled his eyes and poked his tongue through his cheek. he hated how close she was suddenly becoming with their friend. usually, she’d be in his arms, his presence, and his care.

but all he could do for now was make snarky comments about some guy that asked for her number.

“so what? you’re gonna go out with this guy now? he’s gonna come to our hangouts now?” the annoyed boy half-heartedly joked, trying to let it come off as something playful with an awkward laugh.

his words only made sunoo and y/n look at each other. and with that, it only filled every inch of his body with more jealousy. he was a protective boy, what can he say?

he wanted to pull the girl he liked back into his arms but as much as he wanted to do so, they were still only friends — friends who joked and pushed each other around, not hugged.

so he scoffed once he realized it got quiet after what he said.

“what? our group is already big enough.”

“don’t tell me.. you’re jealous?” y/n replied, brows knitting together in shock.

sunghoon’s face began to blush in red, heart racing at how she suddenly figured him out. “what?? no. you’re stupid for thinking that.” smooth, sunghoon, real smooth.

she scoffed out a laugh as sunoo remained giggling. “you can admit it, i know you’re jealous.” she said with a tinting red starting to hit her cheeks as well.

her heart dropped at the thought that her longtime friend could be just ever so slightly jealous with who she was talking to. with their passing years of friendship, he never really took interest in her love life — or at least that’s what she thought.

the girl would tell him and he’d do his best in hyping her up, but she always secretly wished that he was the one she was excited about (and he did too).

but yet again, they were idiots in love.

“so are you gonna admit it?” she poked.

sunghoon rolled his eyes, jaw clenching with how well his favorite girl was provoking him. “what is there to admit?” he seethed.

sunoo laughed at his reaction. “geez, hyung, you don’t need to get too mad here.”

a scoff came out of the older male. “sunoo, stay out of this.” he murmured with a turned head.

y/n immediately took notice of hoon’s uncomfortable state and felt the need to stop. her light manner of stupid, silly jokes halted as she uttered — “okay let’s move on from this. should we meet with the others?”

“aren’t they in different classes right now?” sunoo asked, also attempting to move on from what just happened.

“well ji-woo’s in psych right now, i think min-su and dae are free, heeseung’s with them, jake’s in philosophy & ethnics, and jungwon’s in microbiology. and jay and niki are in.. forensics i think?”

sunoo and sunghoon looked at her in bewilderment.

“what?”

“do you just know everyone’s schedule or what?” hoon asked, mouth gaping open in shock.

y/n sent a quick smack to his arms. there’s the girl he knew. “i have their schedule in my notes, don’t judge me! i just want to know our available times..,”

her crush grinned, eyes twinkling in delight of how thoughtful she was. “looking at everyone else’s schedule.. you’re such a loser.” he teased, smiling wide at her defended gasp.

she continued to bully him with a mount of insults and hits. sunoo watched it happen, shaking his head at how he suddenly began third wheeling.

“okay, okay, enough! dae and them are near us, let’s go meet them.” he intervened, swatting a hand between the two.

sunghoon’s heart filled with joy as he ruffled her hair. he heard her give a soft grumble, smacking his hand away that only caused him to laugh even more.

the three continued like this until they eventually reached the others.

“you guys got here a little late..,” dae murmured, side eyeing them.

“sorry, we got held back because some guy wanted her number.” sunghoon responded, feeling a hint of jealousy seep through.

min-su and dae immediately bopped their heads up. “oh??” they asked in unison, earning a chuckle from their friend.

“it’s nothing, this cute guy was just sitting next to me the entire lecture and asked for my number at the end.” y/n replied with a shrug to her shoulders.

“girl, nothing???” dae guffawed.

“cute? mm, i’ll have to see about that,” min-su added in.

with that, her boyfriend, heeseung shot his head up. “you want to see another cute guy when your boyfriend’s right here?” he pouted, causing his girl to melt right at the spot.

“no, baby, i just have to make sure he’s good for her!” she quickly defended.

the group giggled at the couples quarrel before sunoo intruded — “his name’s sanha though.”

sunghoon subtly rolled his eyes but it didn’t go unnoticed by heeseung. the older male looked at him in the eyes that spoke — ‘this must be bothering you huh?’ but hoon chose to ignore and act like he didn’t see it.

“hmm.. sanha.. do you have a picture?” dae questioned.

“she just met the guy, why would she have a picture??” the undeniably jealous guy spoke with anger in his throat.

y/n pushed her brows together before agreeing. “yeah i just met him so i don’t have a picture but..,”

“i guess we can’t see if he’s good for you, y/n..,” dae said. “i do know who’d be good for you though.”

the girl tilted her head to the side. “uh.. who?”

her friend wore a cheeky smile, brows slightly raising as he shifted his gaze to sunghoon, who immediately caught on and began to panic.

“yeah, who is this guy..?” hoon blurted, scratching the back of his nape.

“well he’s been jungwon’s friend for a while now and i’d like it if he had the courage to ask you out, but he’s been too fucking shy.”

y/n looked as if she was confused but she wasn’t stupid. she knew dae was talking about sunghoon, she just wanted him to actually admit it.

“who’s the guy? do i know him?” her coy tone was obvious to min-su and dae, and possibly sunoo but not her crush. no, he stayed oblivious but mainly because he was scared.

as dae was about to speak, sunghoon stopped him — “hey is that jungwon?? that’s him, right?” he pointed behind the boy’s back; and lo and behold, it really was him.

hoon’s ass just got saved and all he could do was sigh out in relief.

while jungwon’s boyfriend ran to the man in the distance, y/n exchanged a look with min-su that could only emphasize their telepathy.

heeseung noticed their look since he was alarmingly close to his girlfriend, and because of that, he spurted out soft laughs.

once jungwon came into everyone’s view, the topic was changed.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

after about an hour, jake texted that he was waiting for ji-woo and eventually, they came together, and then jay and niki as well.

“so are we gonna go eat?” niki asked.

“yes please, i’m starving!” y/n beamed, causing sunghoon’s heart to thud in his chest.

“where at?” jake’s voice spoke, scooting himself closer to his girlfriend’s embrace while pushing his glasses up.

“just anywhere,” min-su replied as her fingers clung around heeseung’s hands.

“okay let’s go to ‘anywhere,’ i heard that place is good!” yelled dae. the stupid joke earned a shrieking laugh from jungwon, popping his dimples as he kept hollering — “that was funny, babe.”

the group laughed as well, maybe not as much as won, but just enough.

eventually, they agreed on some fried chicken place and set out to leave. before doing so, the question that min-su just had to pop to y/n caught everyone’s attention — “so are you gonna bring your boyfriend?” sunghoon shot his head up, thick brows furrowing at the joke.

“boyfriend?? you got a boyfriend and we haven’t even met him yet?” jay instigated with a brow raise.

y/n nervously laughed once she felt aware of everyone’s stares. “that’s what we’re calling him now?”

“what the hell did i miss??” ji-woo asked, turning her head to min-su and dae.

as the two teasingly smiled, a low voice suddenly spewed, “he’s not her boyfriend.”

the attention that was once on y/n had now shifted to the voice that was evidently sunghoon’s. the girl he liked cocked a head tilt in confusion with how upset he sounded while the others were silently judging him.

jungwon had the look of — ‘you’re busted,’ and jake had the look of — ‘too obvious bro,’ whereas heeseung spoke with his eyes that said — ‘min-su and i are definitely debriefing about this later.’

the rest of the members also exchanged glances that were somewhere along the lines of jungwon’s and jake’s.

as they all stared at him, sunghoon’s cheeks flushed with a deep color of red. “i was just um.. there to witness it, they’re not together.” he tried to play it off, but ji-woo was obviously not convinced.

“so you just witnessed it? that’s it?” she questioned towards the awkward male who was just nodding.

hating how quick the atmosphere became awkward, y/n broke the ice by saying, “okay okay, that’s enough. i’m hungry, let’s go.”

the tense moment passed and each couple went in their own transportation (as did sunghoon and y/n), allowing jay to drive sunoo and niki.

while hoon drove, y/n controlled the music.

“oh come on, stop putting this song on.” he grumbled.

“what! come on, it’s cute!” she defended, lightly slapping his arm.

the boy sent a scowling look as he replied, “it’s not cute, it’s sad and depressing.”

“hoon, it’s lily of the valley, how can you hate it??”

“it’s not the vibes right now,” he uttered while making a signal turn.

y/n rolled her eyes. she played the song because it was thee song she associated him with. “fine..,” she groaned, fingers typing fast to change the music.

silence filled the air for a second before another slow and steady song played, causing sunghoon to shoot her another look.

“what!”

“this song is still sad, y/n.”

the song that she put on was ‘everything’ by the black skirts — another song she associated him with.

“excuse me, you like sad songs! that’s what we have in common, loser.” the girl fumed while crossing her arms together.

hoon let out a low chuckle that sent goosebumps down her spine. “play something more upbeat, these songs are like something you slow dance to.” exactly.

her heart pounded at his words before grumbling out a low sigh. “fine… but just because you never shut up about this song.”

a click to another song was made and ‘mad’ by neyo began to boom in the car.

sunghoon instantly wore a huge smile. “that’s more like it!” he beamed, glancing over at her to shine that deathly grin.

y/n felt a butterfly tingle in her stomach but ignored it with her random karaoke session with him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

soon, the group found themselves gathered around a table with large mounts of fried chicken and fried goods in the center.

“let’s eat!” yelled one of the boys.

everyone began digging in and enjoying the food in front of them.

the couples sat across from each other, being love sick in watching their partner eat and be full on their tummies.

meanwhile, the single friends were in absolute disgust. every face morphed into horror as niki uttered — “we’re trying to eat here, stop that.”

ji-woo rolled her eyes at him as she squished her favorite boy’s cheeks, causing his glasses to slightly fall to the tip of his nose. jake gave a cheeky grin afterward as he muzzled his head further into her hands.

y/n nudged her. “ew ji-woo, don’t do that.”

“we’re cute, shut up.”

the single girl turned her attention to sunghoon who was also mirroring her facial expression. she cracked a laugh as soon as she saw him side eyeing his close friend.

“alright, just because you guys aren’t together, doesn’t mean that you guys can judge us.” min-su murmured. “but that is disgusting, ji-woo.”

the group erupted into harsh laughs afterwards, allowing a few to choke here and there on their chicken.

the night continued on and everyone soon went back to their light jokes about other things.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

eventually, the gang gathered out of the restaurant and left in their separate ways.

the couples left together of course, and jay took niki and sunoo — giving just sunghoon to take y/n home.

“are you gonna play better music?” he asked while getting in the car.

“um.. sure!” she beamed back.

he let out a soft chuckle before driving off to her address.

once the car ride that was filled with endless talks of past high school memories reached its destination (sorry that was long), sunghoon stopped the car with a soft screech.

“so i’ll see you tomorrow?” the tall male asked with a slight eyebrow raise. he leaned his head closer towards her, causing her heart rate to rapidly increase.

she gulped down her saliva before nodding her head. “yes, i’ll be more ready tomorrow..,” she murmured, voice weakening at the end to highlight her vulnerability.

he chuckled at her empty promise — “yeah you keep telling yourself that, i’ll be here around the same time.” his sparkly eyes trailed down from her lips and back to her eyes.

a nervous gulp was taken as he leaned in just an inch closer, leaving an obvious gap between them. the gap that defined their relationship. the clear boundary that was between friends and lovers.

it only lingered for a second before sunghoon pulled away, not letting any suspicions creep in with his feelings for her.

y/n panicked for a second. she felt the yearn for their lips to connect, but she, too, ignored it with the way he pulled away.

the girl rolled her eyes as she slightly smacked his shoulder. “whatever, bye hoonie!” she tried to break the awkward atmosphere.

his cheeks instantly grew red at the name call. she’s only used it on serious occasions and for her to just randomly call him that throbbed his heart.

“b..bye,” he nervously stuttered, mentally smacking his head afterward.

y/n beamed a smile, waving goodbye as she rushed out to avoid any other tension-filled moment.

soon, hoon drove off once confirming that she entered in safely.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a week had now passed, and their exam for chemistry was coming up.

y/n walked into the class, shoulders slumping down as she was reminded of their test. a pout formed on her face while taking her seat next to sanha.

the boy beamed a sweet smile towards her, catching sunghoon’s attention and causing him to almost break his pencil in half.

“hey y/n.”

her head whipped up to sanha in an instant. “since our exam is coming up, i was wondering if we could have a study session soon?”

“oh.. yeah, sure! when did you want to do it?”

hoon’s ears were colored red with every word that was processing through, but still, he was eager to hear more about the plans.

“how about today? are you free?”

“yeah, i should be after 4.” y/n responded, displaying a half smile towards the cute boy.

“okay, i’ll text you where to meet me at the library.”

she nodded in agreement before turning to the professor’s attention.

sunghoon scoffed like he always did, loud and clear. “study session my ass,” he mumbled under his breath.

sunoo laughed at his reaction as he softly ridiculed the older male. y/n didn’t catch on though, remaining attentive to the lecture; while hoon silently fumed in his seat even more.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when the day was almost coming to an end, y/n found herself already done with the study session.

sanha and her walked out while he apologetically said, “sorry that i’m not able to drop you off, i would but i have to rush home.”

she shook her head at his expression of regret. “don’t be! it’s okay, i’ll find a ride home, a family member will come!” she lied.

he walked away from the scene after uttering out another sorry. in return, she waved goodbye as she huffed out a breath of air.

“i’m alone.. and it’s dark… and i’m on an empty campus.. great!” the girl cursed to herself.

she sighed as she reached for her phone. “my last resort..”

y/n <33:

hoon..

um are you awake…

hoonster :) :

It’s 6, of course I’m awake

You need something?

y/n <33:

oh… LMAO

um..

hoonster :) :

???

What happened? Are you okay?

y/n <33:

can you..

pick me up….

hoonster :) :

Yeah I’m on my way

You’re still on campus?

y/n <33:

yeah…

hoonster :) :

Okay I’m coming right now

“that easy?” y/n questioned to herself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a few minutes passed and sunghoon pulled up with his car.

a sigh of relief left her mouth as she rushed to her passenger princess seat.

“thank goodness,” the girl mumbled with a clench to her chest.

“so this date of yours couldn’t even take your home?” hoon asked, giving an unbelievable scoff afterwards.

y/n rolled her eyes as he turned into a lane. “shut up. and it wasn’t a date, we just studied together,” she replied while looking out the window.

“you’re saying it wasn’t a date but i saw how you tried to make it subtle in touching up your makeup.” he paused for a second. contemplating whether he should say it or not, he impulsively spoke, “you looked pretty.”

her head quickly shot up. “what?”

“nothing,” the male swiftly shot back. “you really went out with him though?”

her heart began to burn at his question. “i mean.. it was just a study session, nothing more.” she nervously picked at her fingers, nails scratching at the barrier of skin.

a loud ‘pft’ left sunghoon’s mouth. “yeah that’s how it starts, idiot.” jealousy seethed through his body as he poked his tongue through his cheek.

“sunghoon-“

“can i just tell you something real quick?” he asked, letting the car come to a harsh halt at a semi-empty parking lot.

y/n cocked her head. “sure..?”

hoon avoided eye contact for a second, turning his head away once he felt his cheeks heat up.

“you okay..?” he heard his favorite girl ask.

his throat cleared and he finally locked eye contact with her. “i can’t take it anymore, y/n.”

“take what?”

“i can’t stand seeing you talk to some guy you barely know. i can’t stand it, i hate that you’re talking to him like he’s your boyfriend when you…,” he stopped in a breathless voice.

y/n didn’t say anything, hinting that he should continue — “when you should be doing that with me.”

“hoon-“

“i know we’re friends and i know i probably just made matters worse but i can’t stand it anymore. i want you, y/n.“

sunghoon’s hand firmly gripped onto the steering wheel in fear, heart almost beating out of his chest with how abrupt he was being.

“i’m sorry, i understand that you probably don’t like me back but i-“

his constant ranting was shut up with a soft peck on the lips. immediately, his eyes widened and he choked a little on his saliva with how quick the kiss was.

y/n breathed out a laugh at his reaction, grinning wide as she replied, “i like you too.. loser.”

sunghoon bit his lips in an attempt to hide his smile. he was feeling shy for a second before immediately pulling her back onto his lips. they smashed against each others, causing a satisfied groan to leave his throat.

he was finally kissing the girl he’s been liking since high school and all he could do was groan.

his hands cupped her cheeks as hers laid on his shoulders. his lips continued to firmly press against hers before pulling away.

hoon heavily breathed, eyes closing shut at the weighing relief that lifted off of his shoulders.

“like you.. so, so much.” he whispered in her ear.

y/n giggled, feeling the ticklish breath linger around her. “shut up, i heard you.” she teased.

he cackled a laugh as well before bringing his gaze up to her, letting his eyes stare at her heated face.

the girl quickly noticed and nudged his head away. “stop looking at me with those eyes,” she shamed her own head away before glancing at him again.

“what eyes?” sunghoon questioned, brows teasingly raising with a mischievous grin. his eyes trailed up and down as he stayed in a complete daze.

y/n groaned out a sigh as she pushed him away again. “stop it, hoonie.”

he felt blood rush to his cheeks with every heart throb that was taken. that nickname would now permanently be only for her to use.

“call me that again.”

“what? hoonie?” y/n poked, lips curling into a smile.

the male grinned ear to ear before pulling her into another soft kiss.

a second passed and he pulled away.

“i should take you home but i can’t stop kissing you.” he whispered gently against her skin.

“take me on a real date and then you can kiss me all you want.”

his hands intertwined with hers and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss at the back of it.

“okay i’ll take you on one tomorrow, show you what sanha couldn’t do.”

y/n playfully rolled her eyes — “yeah yeah you do that.”

he kissed her cheek before backing the car out of its parking spot.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

soon, the two arrived to her place late at night, and it was then that sunghoon promised her an actual date for tomorrow.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, gorgeous.”

“gorgeous??” her head bolted at the name, and he only cheekily smiled.

“yeah.. gorgeous.”

“shut up.. good night.” y/n’s cheeks flushed with red as she left the car.

he watched her safely get in and soon drove off with silent giggles and warm heart throbs.

sunghoon and y/n were officially a couple. no more being idiots, and no more being friends.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

351 notes · View notes

kannymaei · 6 months

Text

Beyond All-Knowing (EWTG - Special Chapter 1) Jing Yuan x Reader

MASTERLIST

Author's Note: This has been in my drafts for like idk 5(?) months or 6 months (Teya if you're reading this, pls dont read this bc this is def someone else's personality smh ASOINDJADKANDAK :crocodile: :pensive:) I'm just happy this is alrd posten I aint doing this again jk jk

Synopsis: When you and Jing Yuan were sent to a mission to attempt testing some experimental medicine to mara-struck soldiers but it seemed to have a different side effect.

Genre: SMUT (ITS NOT ME, I THINK ITS SOMEONE ELSE SMH)

WC: 3.4k

"S-s-so! Miss Y/N would you like to…" One of the physician's assistants was about to ask you something when Jing Yuan interrupted.

"Would she like to what?" Jing Yuan rested his back at the wall and caught your attention.

"Oh! Jing Yuan, you're here!" You happily replied, the assistant looked like he was upset because of the sudden appearance of the honored one.

"Y/N why won't you finish getting the herbs so I can finish my share of work." Jing Yuan sighed annoyingly and walked away.

A few hours later.

“Jing Yuan! I got the herbs you need, as ordered by Sifu… Although I found some weird new herbs growing too and I plucked them out.” You said opening the door to his bedroom-slash-laboratory like, carrying a basket full of herbs and other berries that can be eaten for snacks.

“I’m so frustrated about making herbal medicine, shouldn’t we just pass this responsibility to the physicians?” Jing Yuan rants as he faces the bane of his existence, making herbal tea.

“Well, you are, in fact, a candidate to be the successor of Sifu, you must be all-knowing Jing Yuan.” You sighed and explained to him.

“Let me just give you these herbs…” You added and quickly left the room since Jing Yuan doesn't like to be bothered that much especially when he's studying herbs and medicines.

After roughly 3 hours and a half, Jing Yuan has finally finished making 20 identical vials of very concentrated experimental cure against mara.

You and Jing Yuan were assigned to a mission where you'd fight against mara stuck soldiers and force them to drink the vial after being revived in battle. It was hard but Jing Liu knew that there's no pair in Xiaozhou Luofu that can execute this mission with no flaws, she knew her students better than anyone.

You and Jing Yuan took your leave and headed to cloudford.

"Don't you find it odd Jing Yuan, there's no soldiers around here." You said and sighed as your eyes wandered above and beneath every box in the area and not a single mara struck cloud knight was to be found.

"Yeah, it is weird. I wouldn't be even surprised if we were to be ambushed right now by the enemy." He said and laughed as if the two of you would get defeated by a rookie assassin.

"Say, Jing Yuan, I'm quite curious if you're fancying someone… Perhaps I want to know what kind of ladies you are into. I think it's a privilege to know the future general, the successor of Jing Liu, what's their type, hehe." You said and laughed as you jumped box after box, playing around the area and stopped after you spotted something.

Jing Yuan was quick to follow you and sneaked behind you.

"I'm more curious what made you ask that question suddenly… Hmmm, let's see. I would probably love someone that's a carbon copy or someone who shares the same discipline and characteristics of Sifu." He held his chin with his hand and then wrapped them around your waist and pulled you closer and whispered something to your ear.

"You see, that's the enemy." Jing Yuan pointed out a mara struck soldier sitting in the middle, it appears to have an abnormal behavior compared to other cursed soldiers.

You and Jing Yuan disappeared in a second to ambush the cursed soldiers quickly to force their revival and attempt to use the vials Jing Yuan had created earlier.

Except everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

You and Jing Yuan were completely unaware that the cursed soldiers' abilities had mutated, therefore they wouldn't act the same as the others.

Instead of being revived, the mara struck soldier has self-destructed in front of you and Jing Yuan and a flash of light has appeared between your eyes.

Little did you know that, that flash of light was just to blind you temporarily and is something that you should not worry about.

"Jing Yuan!" You shouted.

"Y/N, there's a chance that we may have been inflicted with the curse-" Jing Yuan didn't hesitate to drink one vial of the experimental cure that he made because he knew that it's better to be safe than sorry. At that moment, he was quite confident about his knowledge on herbs but he was wrong in one thing.

As a matter of fact, Jing Yuan did not create a cure at all. It was something different.

You were too slow to stop him from doing so and before you could dash towards him, he had swallowed the entire vial already.

"Don't worry about me Y/N, let's just… stay here for a moment." He said and sat on a nearby corner, you thought that he sounded like he was tired and assumed that it was probably because of the flash of light that appeared.

"Then I should also take this vial-" You said but Jing Yuan stopped you from doing so.

"No, if anything goes wrong with me because of the medicine. You would be the one to carry me back in the city and therefore a proper diagnosis can be made.

Jing Yuan's body temperature began to rise a little and he has sweat profusely. As a response, you took one of your clothing that covers your front and used it to wipe Jing Yuan's sweat which made him have a good view of the cleavage of your lovely soft breasts.

Jing Yuan has realized that he may have created an aphrodisiac instead of the cure earlier. He was too vulnerable to speak right now because of his blood rushing somewhere else in the bottom of his body because of the beautiful sight that he is currently blessed with right now.

"Is the vial not working?! D-damn, Maybe you need more. I'll get them for you Jing Yuan." You attempted to find the vials but his manly arms had captivated your entire body, preventing you from finding the vials.

Due to Jing Yuan's weakened state, you managed to break free and grabbed as many vials as you could gather. You thought that if he doesn't want to drink more of it, he might be still under the control of the curse.

So you opened 9 vials and poured them in your mouth and kissed Jing Yuan to force him to swallow the vial.

You wrapped your tongue around his as you were exploring every bit of his mouth when you felt his arms wrapped around your body with one hand traveling its way slowly to your head, pulling you closer to him.

The two of you shared a passionate kiss together with saliva mixed with the vials stringing out from both of your mouths.

Your cheek heated up after the kiss, somehow you still have no idea what the vial contains and felt aroused.

Jing Yuan gently cupped your left breast and you let out a gasp and moaned a little because of his actions. He squished it a little and tried to feel your hardened nipple.

You kissed him again and said in a very seductive tone.

"Let's do this somewhere private like your bedroom or your office~"

"Does my office sound good to you, hm? Darling?"

You nodded and kissed him again and he carried you in a bridal way back to the city.

—

"What happened to Y/N? Is she injured?" The physicians asked when Jing Yuan walked towards his office.

"She's not, just tired. I'll take good care of her." Jing Yuan said as he held you tightly and pulled you closer to him. You realized how huge of a man Jing Yuan is and you're about to be dominated by him.

He enters his office with you and locks the door as he places you in his bed. Jing Yuan started to remove his clothes leaving his pants, making him half naked. You blushed, admiring seeing his toned body and you knew that you are also the only person seeing Jing Yuan like this. You imagined your hands going on his six-pack abs while kissing him.

"Like what you see?" He joked about it.

"No, I love it." You smirked and replied.

He joins you in bed and kisses you.

"Should we continue where we left off?" He said in a seductive manner and you just turned yourself on top of him and pushed him down in bed to just kiss him.

His hands traveled on your thighs, grasping it and pulled your tight skirt up, exposing your soaking wet panties.

You got up from your kiss and were about to remove your clothes but Jing Yuan stopped you from doing so.

"Allow me to strip you naked, love~" He said in a very deep tone, it felt like he was begging you to make him see every inch of your skin.

He got up and trailed his hands from your breasts to your waist, down to your ass.

He kissed your cleavage hardly enough to leave a hickey in the middle and smelled your body. He kept on kissing your breasts as he began to unbutton your clothes.

Jing Yuan was a few moments away from seeing your lovely soft breasts, his tongue has been aching to lick and play with your hard nipples.

He looked at you for a moment before pulling away the cloth covering your precious pearls and he was stunned and astonished by how delicate your breasts are.

He kissed both of your nipples and played with it. You sat on his hardened crotch and began to grind against it.

Jing Yuan whimpered from your sudden movement.

"Hngh~ I want to be inside of you-!" He said in your ear.

You grabbed one of the vials again, the faintly sweet aphrodisiac that brought the two of you into this and poured it down your breasts to lure Jing Yuan.

He was shocked and immediately grabbed your boob and sucked and licked on every drop of the vial that has been boosting up his sex drive while you continued to grind your soaking pussy against his hard bulge.

Jing Yuan grabbed the tiny piece of clothing that's covering the last of the remains of your dignity and broke it leaving you completely naked against him.

He pulled his pants down and whispered "You ready love? This might hurt a little~" He smiled and kissed you.

You nodded because you haven't had a glimpse of how huge his penis is until you did.

"W-wait!" You said but you felt a sharp pain as his thick cock slowly made its way inside you.

"F-fuck, you're so tight love-" Jing Yuan, whimpered as he tried not to move a lot in order not to hurt you.

"The thought of S-sifu might actually knock on your door right and o-or even little Yangqing coming over, asking if you could p-play with him- The thought of us getting caught in a position like this makes me so h-horny!" You said and moved up and down to adjust yourself but it still hurts a little.

"You're so beautiful, love" Jing Yuan placed his head on your neck and began to kiss and bite it while he had one of his hands on your back and the other one was playing with your boob.

"Should I unlock the door?" Jing Yuan jokingly reached out on the door of his bedroom but you struggled to reach for his arm and attempted to stop him from doing so and you felt like his penis as thrusted inside-out of you within those seconds except it no longer hurts.

You wanted to confirm that something felt really good and you bounced once again and felt the tip of his penis hit your upper walls that helps stimulate your clit.

You rode his penis slowly and created small moans.

"I love to hear you create louder sounds like that, princess." Jing Yuan said and began to fuck you.

"Oh gosh~ Jing Yuan, you're so good~ You're hitting a spot, you're making me feel good-! Gosh! You're going to make me cum!" You said as he held on your thighs tightly and fucked you good, he admired your round breasts bouncing up and down.

He carried you with his cock inside and went outside his bedroom.

"Where are you taking me?" You asked but he said nothing. He began to wall you on his office door and pound you hard leaving these sounds across the walls of the room.

"Y-you're going to create suspicions with the workers!" You said.

"Exactly, moan my name loud or I'll stop fucking you" He ordered and you just began to moan his name out loud.

"Jing Yuan! You're so good! It's so hard, big, and strong~ Do it harder!" You moaned out loudly and he kept on pounding you harder, enough to make the walls shake.

On the other side of the wall, Yukong was the first to notice what on heaven's sake was happening in Jing Yuan's office. The other workers had taken notice of it but they just blushed and remained quiet because they have high respect for you and Jing Yuan and should never speak anything bad towards the two of you.

"Knowing Jing Yuan, I think he wants to show off his ownership against the people fancying Miss Y/N. I'm pretty sure you're well aware that Miss Y/N is a very beautiful lady and being under Jing Liu just makes her one of the most respected women in this place." Yukong stated to some of her workers.

"Kindly avoid passing through the hallways of Jing Yuan's office or get your salary deducted" She added and the workers nodded.

Some of the workers that had a crush on you were even jealous and were very curious to see your womanly face in bed.

But they can't do anything even courting you because as they speak, you are being marked as a part of Jing Yuan's territory that no man has the courage to step foot on.

—

"God darling! You're so good! Can I plant my seed for you?" Jing Yuan asked as he attempted to catch his breath because he's been pounding you non-stop and a knot is beginning to form in his lower abdomen.

"Yes! Give it all to me! Plant your seed for me!" You moaned out and kissed him.

"I'm going to give you my children Y/N! I want you to stop training under Sifu and be my wife. I'll swear to protect my wife until the end of time and carry my duties as a husband whilst being the general." He said and began whimpering.

"So the woman that you've been fancying for so long~ was me?" You said and he just kissed you hard with his tongue exploring every bit of your mouth.

"Y-yeah!" He continued to whimper while thrusting his cock inside and outside.

"Y-you almost slipped away from my fingers! The assistant of the physician was about to ask you out- I've been wanting you for so long but I never had the courage to do so!" Jing Yuan added as he hardly pushes his big and long cock, destroying you, stirring up your insides.

"I'm going to make you mine" Were the last words that he said before finishing inside of you.

Jing Yuan doesn't pull out as he wraps his arms around you and spoons you in bed in front of him. You could still feel his pulsating member throbbing inside of you while he brushes your hair and you curl up in front of his toned chest getting ahold of his manly smell.

"It's gonna be so embarrassing when I come out of your office later" You said and buried your face more onto him, cheeks heating up.

"Who said you'll come out here? You're not going to come out of here until my cock calms down. Let's just… take a rest for now." He said hugging you to sleep.

—

"Jing Yuan, you aren't slacking off with my task aren't you?" A familiar voice was heard behind the doors.

Jing Yuan's eyes immediately opened and he stood up naked, trying to find a robe he could cover himself with temporarily.

It's Jing Liu, he could never mistake her voice.

"Hey-" Jing Yuan opened the door a little but Jing Liu grabbed the handle and opened the door widely.

"You're… quite different." She said,

"I was really tired yesterday and the task you gave me took everything outside of myself" Jing Yuan firmly stated as his words hold double meanings.

"Go prepare yourself… I'll get Y/N in her room" Jing Liu took a deep breath and began walking away when Jing Yuan grabbed her arm.

"I… I'll get Y/N, err… we were having bets yesterday and had a little fun with the task you gave me." Jing Yuan lied which Jing Liu obviously knew and decided to play it off and have it his way.

"Whatever." She says.

—

"Y-Y/N! S-sifu's waiting for us-" Jing Yuan frantically tapped your cheeks in an attempt to wake you up. Your body was wrapped in his blankets due to the mess you made last night.

Your drowsy eyelids open a little and you see the majestic form of Jing Yuan on top of you.

"Jing Yuan, I'm too sore to even stand up- Gosh, you're so handsome" You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Y-Y/N, now's not the time for this-" Jing Yuan pulled away as the blanket began to unravel.

"You had it your way last night!" You said and pinned Jing Yuan in bed.

Jing Yuan looked away as you began to remove the blanket leaving you completely naked and used it to tie his hands at his back.

"Look at me, I only want you to look at me" You said as if you were a witch manipulating him, he immediately obliged and looked at your heavenly body.

As if a few moments ago he was panicking within the presence of Jing Liu, he was immediately focused on you.

You positioned yourself on his pulsating member and caressed his chest slowly with your soft fingers.

"Y-Y/N, l-let me touch you" Jing Yuan begged as his hands were struggling to be free.

"I guess you need to ask for it" You said as you slid your glistening folds up and down on his cock, enjoying the whimpers that Jing Yuan was creating.

"Y-Y/N, please let me be inside of you! Slide it gently and slowly-" Jing Yuan said followed by a loud moan when you inserted his member inside of you faster and roughly.

You gasped.

"That feels good~" You said in his ears before kissing his neck as you indulge in his hard member.

Jing Yuan takes this opportunity to attempt unraveling the knot that you made on him, making sure that you won't notice a bit.

You stared at the ceiling with your mouth open wide and tongue out near Jing Yuan's mouth, your breath has become short and it becomes faster as each thrust goes by.

He felt so special that you consented into offering yourself to him.

And at last, he finally untied himself.

Jing Yuan stared at you enjoying yourself on top of him, he loved how your hands were traveling and your fingers tracing his body.

"I'm about to cum-" You said as you bounced your hips a little faster until you felt your hands on your back.

"You're having the fun all by yourself" He smirked and grabbed your waist and fucked you rough and faster on that moment.

You uncontrollably moaned as you felt like your cum was induced and wanted to feel it again to make sure that you weren't rushed into doing it.

"Cream me" You whispered to his ear.

"I know." He replied back and hugged him tightly, nails burying at his back as he continues to fuck you rough in bed and make sure that you're filled of his cum until you're full and leaking.

—

"Where are your students?" Yukong asked Jing Liu.

"I supposed they're training somewhere together, they do not wish for me to be involved" Jing Liu sighs as she knew exactly what the two of you were doing.

—

A month after, Jing Yuan immediately asked for your hand in marriage which you happily agreed to. He couldn't wait any longer to make you his wife.

He wanted to make sure that everyone sees you as his wife and you get the treatment you deserve.

Then one day you don't know how to break the news to your husband that there's going to be a new family member that's currently residing in your womb <3

#SCREAMING INTO THE VOID #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr fic #hsr fanfic #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader smut #jing liu #yangqing #jingyuan x you #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x y/n #smut #hsr smut #send help #fanfiction #yukong #xianzhou luofu

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taestefully-in-luv · 1 year

Text

Our Time | JJK (Six)

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Word Count: 10.4k

Warnings: ANGSTY chapter ahead. swearing, frustrations of amnesia, detailed descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, mentions of blood, mentions of child abduction, lots of crying, confrontation, allusions to infidelity within marriage, feelings of betrayal, mention of suicide/death, obvious alcoholism, umm I think that’s it.

a/n: happy valentines day💕 (I haven’t slept yet so its still vday for me hehe) this is not a romantic chapter at all but I hope you still enjoy it. Thanks for those who have been patiently waiting for this chapter since ive been dealing with a lot lately. Well, I hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think! Send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat :]

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Generally speaking, light can serve as a symbol of life.

When there is light, it touches and beautifully blinds with bright, shimmering hope. But for you, your eyes have cast any ray of shining light away. And your entire view has been enveloped in the arms of darkness.

If light is a symbol of life but you and your soul are being carried on a ferry across the river of Styx towards the underworld…then is it safe to assume you are no longer living?

Have you truly died on the inside?

And this is your stygian reality?

Because now, in your world, light no longer exists.

You’re thankful for those people who know how to naturally calm others down. Those people who remain collected during a crisis. Those people who can snap someone out of there demise even when they’re rattled as well. Those people who remind you to breathe even when they’ve forgotten.

Well, Subin is not one of those people.

“He knows we’re coming, right?” Subin aggressively tries to exit the parking lot of the market, her eyes going everywhere yet you aren’t so sure she’s even seeing properly.

“I—I talked to the nurse, s-she said to come now. The doctor should be free…fuck, I hope.” You look out the window, your head spinning while your chest grows tighter and tighter.

Breathing with calm, even breaths is hard.

It’s even harder because Subin is tense, her fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel as she tries to catch her own breath.

She’s always been the type to cry when others cry. Panic when other’s panic. So on and so forth.

You try your hardest to take a breath before speaking, “Can you drive?” You rest the side of your head against the window, your vision looking blurrier and darker. “J-Just pull ov—”

“—Shit, I’m so sorry, y/n.” Subin’s voice shakes, her eyes trying so hard to stay focused on the road. “I’m okay. I’m okay. You’re okay?” She quickly glances at you, “You’re okay, right?”

You rest your palm against your rapid heart, eyes squeezing shut at the pain and discomfort your chest is feeling. You need to breathe. Relax.

“I-I’m fine.” You say as composed as you possibly can. “Water? Water? Do you…do you have water in here…?” You tiredly lean your head back, chest rising and falling quickly. “I feel sick.”

“Sick?” Subin clears her throat, though she’s panicking herself, she tries to get her shit together. “Like how?” She glances at you again, “I think there’s a bag behind your seat. Throw up in it if you need to….”

“Water, Subin.” You feel your throat closing in on you, “Do you have—”

“—Um,” Subin keeps one hand on the steering wheel while the other frantically feels the sides and below her car seat. “I think there’s a bottle…” She continues to search, the car slightly swerving but you hardly notice. “Here!”

You manage to open your eyes, sudden relief filling your veins when you see a half empty bottle of water. Subin pushes it towards you before she’s urging you to have some.

“Drink slowly.” She keeps a worried eye on you while driving as quickly as she can to the hospital.

The moment water begins trickling down your throat, you feel the dizziness that’s consumed you start to subside.

With half of that bottle of water in your system, your vision is less blurry and less dark.

Literally speaking, darkness doesn’t have a veil over your eyes any longer.

But figuratively speaking, not even an ounce of light shines in your world at all.

You still can’t breathe. Because how could you?

How could you with the knowledge you currently have?

You’re convinced you’re having a heart attack…Doctor Lee, however, isn’t convinced about that.

“You’re just panicking.” He tells you softly, his eyes trained on your expressions. “It’s okay. This is completely normal, y/n.”

You quickly shake your head, refusing to accept that it’s only your emotions here that are the problem.

“This is normal…” He reminds you again, a gentle hand patting your back. “Once you accept that this is normal, it’ll get easier to control it. You’re overwhelmed and that’s okay.”

“I-I can’t breathe.” You manage to tell him, fingers tugging at the collar of your shirt. You wish you could tear off your clothes, your skin, all the feelings that bombard you.

“You can breathe.” Doctor Lee brings his hand towards his own body, he motions upward now with both hands as he urges you to inhale deeply. “You’re breathing right now. You’ve been breathing this whole time…even when it was hard, you’re still breathing, y/n.”

He’s…right. Since the market, since the car, since waiting for Doctor Lee to show up in this tiny room—you’ve been breathing the entire time.

You try to nod, swallowing hard but it hurts.

Actually, it seems the physical pain is disappearing while emotional pain begins to sink it’s teeth into you. Pain is pain, you realize.

“Good,” Doctor Lee keeps his focus on you, “Can you give me a deep breath?”

You nod, trying your hardest to inhale a breath but it’s sharp and poisoned.

Your eyes slam shut, your entire body closing in on itself.

“Try to let go of a long breath for me,” Doctor Lee’s voice is soothing, “Feel everything. Gather all of it…and let it go with a long, long breath. Can you do that?”

Feel everything and let it go? How could you do that?

“I can’t.” You shake your head, eyes still slammed shut. “I just can’t.”

“You can.” He tells you, voice still calm. “I’m not asking you to sort through all your emotions right now and just let them go. No,” Doctor Lee sighs out for a moment before he’s pulling his chair out right in front of you and taking a seat. “I’m just asking you to recognize you have them and release them for a moment. That way you can gain more strength for when you eventually have to grab them again. You can’t get stronger if the panic you feel burdens you, y/n. Let’s breathe…”

You open your teary eyes, teeth digging into your bottom lip as harsh breaths make your entire body grow weaker. Doctor Lee looks pleased just at the fact you’ve opened your eyes. He nods his head with a tender smile before he starts breathing with you. In and out. Slow and rest assuring.

You aren’t sure how long it takes for you to have calm breaths again.

Doctor Lee doesn’t rush you. He gives you time and space to collect yourself. He’s aware that you are here because some memories have flooded your brain. And he’s aware that it had you drowning. He has told you countless times to reach out to him the moment something like this begins. You guess he anticipated this kind of reaction.

“Just in case, I still want to run some tests. I’ll get nurse Choi to do labs.” Doctor Lee is scribbling onto his clipboard, but his eyes are still on you. “I know today has been scary for you but I’m sure your results will be fine. It’s always better to be a little more precautious, don’t you think?”

Your limbs are weak, draped over this uncomfortable chair as you give Doctor Lee a noncommittal nod. All of your energy has been drained from your body. Leaving you weak and helpless.

Doctor Lee’s pen comes to a slow stop, his lips turning down as he eyes you. “Hey,” He calls out slowly, your eyes barely lifting to him. “I’m afraid it’s going to be like this…overwhelming. Scary. Emotionally, physically draining.”

You stare at him with empty eyes.

“But this is a good sign, y/n….” He says and you can tell he isn’t necessarily happy to say it. “Your memories are in there and they’re going to start leaking out…and it won’t always be easy.”

You muster what little energy you have to scoff to yourself, “No kidding.”

“It just…it means that the chances of all your memory returning is a lot greater. They can all return to you.” He says much softer. You don’t respond though, making Doctor Lee sigh out in defeat before he’s placing the clipboard down. “This first time will probably be the hardest. It’s the first time you’re receiving new information.”

Your eyes meet his when he says that. Your brows slowly pull together as you think about it. “Well, kind of.” You admit to him. “I remembered a cat…” the space between your eyebrows creases further as you try to make things make sense in your head. “Actually…I have a question.”

Doctor Lee nods immediately, his attentive eyes on you. “What is it?”

“Is it possible to remember some things but not others?” You ask, but shake your head as soon as you ask it. “I mean…for example, I remember a cat that I shouldn’t remember. I only remember the cat though. I don’t remember anything else about the timeline of this cats life. You know, the things happening around this cat.”

Doctor Lee furrow his own brows, trying his best to make sense of what you’re asking.

You try to explain further, “I remember this cat. But I don’t remember that at the same time as this cat, I was also married.”

It seems it finally clicks, his mouth falling a little open as he nods. “I understand.”

“It’s just…the thing I remembered today…I remember certain details but there’s so much still missing.” You pause, the gloomy pressure once again in your chest but you take a deep breath. “Is it…” You meet Doctors Lee’s gaze again. “Is it possible that my brain blocked out an entire person in my memory? But I…” You can feel the tightness returning. “I….I have memory of this person existing within things but I don’t have actualrecollection of this per—person.”

You shouldn’t feel ashamed the moment you see Doctor Lee’s eyes fill with pity.

“You know,” He clears his throat, blinking away the pity he feels for you. “The brain is truly such a complex thing. Your memories might come to you with no warning and things might not always make sense. Eventually, you might be able to piece some together. And yeah, I’d say it’s entirely possible not to have all the knowing details when you remember an event.”

“Then—”

“—But don’t be discouraged that things will always stay that way. Like you’re going to live your life solving some puzzle.”

Your eyes sting the moment he says that. You’re realizing how true that feels for you…like you’re just a player apart of some game. But you aren’t even sure you have all the puzzle pieces to even play.

“As overwhelming as it is, this is a good sign. Your memories will most likely return. And maybe even soon.”

You realize he’s saying this as if it’s a positive.

But you aren’t so sure that you even want them to return anymore.

“It might take Nurse Choi a little while to get your labs started…she’s doing some rounds right now.” Doctor Lee takes a look at his watch, “But I can grab your friend from the waiting room if you’d like me to? You’d be less bored waiting in here.” He smiles.

Though you cannot return his smile, you agree.

You know Subin is in this tiny room with you. You watched when one of the nurses brought her in. But even still, you jump in your chair when she calls out for you. Her worried eyes glued to you but you’ve barely noticed. Too busy sorting through the things you’ve seen in your head.

“Are you…” Subin’s voice is delicate over the harsh and rough thumping of your heartbeat. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You are okay. Because you weren’t experiencing a heart attack.

But are you okay? No, not at all.

You keep staring at nothing and Subin can do nothing but worry in the chair next to you. Her eyes anxiously darting around while you tap your foot against the floor impatiently.

“y/n…” Subin says your name softly, her concern overflowing. “You—”

“—Exactly.” You give a curt nod, “They must be real.”

Subin frowns when she realizes you aren’t listening to her.

“They have to be real because…” You tear your gaze away from the abyss and bore your eyes into Subin’s. “She said my name, Subin.”

Subin tilts her head, gears working in her head but her confusion only grows. “What?”

“I just…” You drop your eyes back to the floor, focusing on nothing again. “I keep thinking that maybe my brain is making up the things I saw in my head.” You say quietly, your words feeling heavy on your tongue. “It wouldn’t be a first time…” You try to reason, more to yourself. You recall the boat, the lake, the scream, the shadow…what was real and what wasn’t? “I keep trying to think that my brain is just throwing out theories again.”

Subin shifts in the uncomfortable chair, “What…what do you mean?”

You sigh, a hand rubbing at your face tiredly. “I’m thinking of reasons.”

“Reasons?”

You drop your hand to your lap, an uneasy expression falling over your face as you glance at your friend. “A reason not to hate Jungkook.”

Subin’s eyebrows immediately pinch together, “W-Why?”

You close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to take a deep breath. You hate that your heart feels miserable in your body right now. It’s screaming and it’s crying. Your heart’s loud, pathetic sobs are bouncing off the walls of your ribcage and you don’t know what to do to put it to rest.

“I have nothing.” You whisper. A heavy feeling begins clinging to you like a cloak you cannot shrug off. “I have no excuses for him.” Your voice cracks, eyes still closed. “I know why I blame him for Haru and I know why we divorced.”

“What? Why?” Subin is suddenly more alert. You hear the way her chair screeches across the tile as she brings herself closer to you. “Are you sure? What…what is it?”

You finally open your eyes, head tilted back as you stare up at the ceiling now. “Nabi.”

It’s silent for a moment. You wonder if Subin heard you or not so you finally turn your head to face her but she looks even more confused.

“Nabi?” She finally gets the name out in question. She tries to think about it but after a moment she gives up. “Who’s that?”

“The girl from that café you like.” You tell her, “She was our server the first time we went together.”

Subin sits back in her chair, her brain trying to understand what you’re saying. “Okay…a girl from the café is why—”

“—I knew I knew her.” You cut her off, eyes going back to nothing as you focus on Nabi. “She was so familiar and I had no clue why. But she said we didn’t know each other. And I am almost so certain she never heard my name.”

Subin shakes her head, leaning towards you. “And then what?”

“Then I ran into her at the store and I saw so many things.” You get the words out quickly and stop just as fast. You saw a lot of things. Too many things. “I…” You try to speak again but your throat is burning and you heart is crying again.

“You think she had something to do with Haru?” Subin asks you, concern clear in her voice.

“I…” You pause again. Your chest is feeling tight all over again but you can’t risk losing your ability to breathe now. “She also has to do with my failing marriage.” You keep your eyes low.

“Your marr…” Subin’s words get quieter before her hand goes to your shoulder, “Are you saying that Jungkook knows her?”

You scoff, trying your best to remain calm. But your voice betrays you, “Considering he was cheating on me with her then yeah, I-I would say so.”

You’re startled when Subin is standing from her chair, concerned eyes forcing themselves to you, “Woah, woah. You don’t really think…” She shakes her head, rejecting the entire idea. “No, you are not saying Jungkook—”

“—I don’t want to be saying that, Subin.” You snap at her, your eyes growing watery as your voice shakes. “But that’s what I’ve—I’ve seen. M-my brain showed me so much and that’s why I…why I keep thinking maybe they aren’t actual memories. That I don’t actually know her.” You feel you are starting to lose control again, your breaths coming out faster. “But Subin,” Your face twists and your heartache is seen. “She said my name. She knows my name. She knows who I am.”

Subin takes a seat again, unsure of what to say.

“If we know each other…then it means maybe what I saw was…” You swallow hard but not choking on your words is fucking hard. “It was m-maybe real then.”

“But I mean…are you really sure though?” Subin rests a hand over your shoulder. “I’m sorry but…is what you’re seeing…you know, reliable?”

You feel yourself grow weak and small in this chair. Your body slumping over and slightly sliding down as you try to think of a proper response.

“I mean,” Subin’s fingers give you a comforting squeeze, “I’m not saying we shouldn’t trust what you’ve seen…but it’s a tricky situation.”

You know you are dying inside. Truly, even if a flickering light that might have been keeping you alive until this moment has shut off. Because you wish you could agree with her and let that thought alone comfort you. But again, you aren’t ignorant. And you won’t start now.

“No, they’re memories.” You tell her, eyes on the ground. “I know they are. I feel them.”

Subin’s hand drops from your shoulder, a sad and soft ‘oh’ spills quietly from her mouth.

You try to straighten up in the chair, letting a deep sigh roll off your body. “But until I talk to Jungkook…I can’t really confirm it. Even though I know. I need to talk to him.”

“Can I…” Subin scoots her chair closer to you again, the legs pushed against the legs of your chair. “Can I ask what you saw? Why you think that…that Jungkook was having an affair? And what does it…” She softly trails off, her voice clearly unsure.

“And what it has to do with Haru?” You finally face your friend with sad, blood shot eyes. “He was with herwhen Haru was supposed to get p-picked up.” You continue to stare at Subin, her heart breaking when she sees how you try to hold back tears. “Isn’t it crazy that I know that? That I know about Haru? But I don’t fucking…” You stop when your throat burns too much, words refusing to leave your mouth. You fight through it regardless and finish what you are saying with broken words and a broken heart. “B-But I don’t f-fucking know him?”

Subin eyes you with pity and you’re sure you’ve received this all before.

“I remember seeing them together. Multiple o-occasions.” You admit to your friend, voice shaky. “It’s hard to tell though…from my memory if it was in person or pictures, videos, I don’t know. I know I confronted him and he just…” Your expression twists miserably. “He could n-never prove to me that my assumptions weren’t—weren’t right.”

“But that doesn’t me—”

“—M-Motel rooms…so many f-fucking secrets, Subin.” You finally properly choke on your words because of a quiet sob in your throat. “A pregnancy test?”

“A what?” Subin’s face falls, “A preg—no, maybe you—”

“As much as I want to believe Jungkook w-wouldn’t…” You slam your eyes shut and finally, several warm tears manage to fall from your closed lids. “But there is so much evidence against him and he could n-never fucking prove...”

“Okay, okay.” Subin’s sweet voice turns even more soothing, her hand returning to your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, y/n.” She whispers, “Seriously…I wish this wasn’t…”

“No,” You straighten up again, your hands desperately wiping at your face. “I won’t mourn y-yet when I haven’t talked to Jungkook.”

Because somehow…even with your bones screaming the truth at you.

You still want to believe in him.

At least until you are forced not to.

~~~

Subin parks right in front of your house, her worried eyes going between you and Jungkook’s car that is also parked here.

“We left for the grocery store and came back emptyhanded…” Subin nibbles her lips, her concern growing. “What if he’s like ‘why don’t you have my chips?’ or something…”

You slowly turn your head to eye Subin, eyes narrowing at her before you deadpan, “Then I’ll just ask him why he cheated on me.”

Subin’s mouth immediately falls open.

“Or something.” You say before unbuckling your seatbelt. “Anyway, thanks for taking me to the hospital…might end up there again,” You glance out the window towards your home. “Depending how this conversation goes…”

“y/n…” Subin’s hand lands on your shoulder, stopping you from opening the passenger door to get out, “I just…want to say again how sorry I feel…” Her hand slowly drops when she notices your distant gaze and then she quietly clears her throat. “I hope it’s not what you think but regardless…I’m here for you.”

You finally meet her eye and you can see her sincerity but the best you can do for her right now is give her a small nod of appreciation before you’re opening the door.

And even though the car door feels heavier than you recall, you still get it open. But your body almost refuses to move. Once again, your brain is sending signals. Telling your body not to go in there. Because you won’t like it. Your brain, mocking you again. Keeping secrets from you because it’s playing some kind of sick and twisted game.

You’d think your brain was helping you, because of all the signals, but you know that isn’t the case. You know it’s just trying to get a scare out of you because why else would it keep your memories away if not to play with you?

“Hey,” Subin calls out softly, “You can do this…”

And she’s right. You can.

Walking through your front door, you have to keep reminding yourself silently over and over to stay strong. Though the urge to break down, falling to the floor while misery consumes you wholly is strong but you don’t. Because you can’t. It would be a bit premature to have the full on meltdown your body is begging for because you still need to face Jungkook.

The moment you close the front door and begin slipping your shoes off, your nose is suddenly invaded with a savory aroma. You glance up, eyes in the direction of the kitchen when you finally realize Jungkook must be cooking. It smells good, you guess. But no matter what is cooking in the kitchen, it’s not good enough to take away any of the pain you are currently feeling.

“y/n?” You hear your name being called. Jungkook’s voice is one you’re used to, one you find comfort in, one you love—so why did you flinch? Why is your body warning you? Signals from your brain again? That fucking dickhead brain of yours. You stand up straight again, eyes still in the direction of the kitchen when you try to take one long, deep breath.

“y/n!” You flinch again. Frozen in your spot, unable to make your feet mood forward. You stare at the wall ahead and anticipate Jungkook turning the corner and seeing you. You anticipate seeing his face and you anticipate the instant dread you will feel upon seeing him.

“y/n!” He sings your name cutely this time.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

You finally let out an incredibly shallow breath because Jungkook finally appears from the kitchen, his face lit up in excitement when he meets your eye.

“Hey!” He walks towards you, his hand sliding across the top of the sofa as he gets closer, his eyes glancing around. “Subin in the bathroom or something?”

You need to breathe.

“—Well, since you’re making me my favorite homemade cookies,” He continues chatting with a grin, excited glint so obvious in his eyes. “Which are a dessert. I figured I could make dinner.” He turns to look towards the kitchen, sheepish expression on his face. “I’ve made this dish a hundred times but…” He turns to meet your eye again, his hand lifting to scratch the back of his neck, “Only after we were married. So it will be new for you. But um,” He looks down, sheepish smile still on his face. “It’s actually Haru’s favorite.”

You haven’t moved a single muscle.

You haven’t said a word.

You have barely had an audible breath.

Still, Jungkook looks happy in his own world when he brings up your son.

Your son that you can’t even remember.

“I figure I could share some more stories tonight…about us, Haru…” Jungkook keep his eyes on his feet, still scratching the back of his neck. Almost looking shy. “Well, of course if you think you c…could…” Jungkook trails off when he finally lifts his eyes towards you but he isn’t met with same you that left for the store a few hours ago. He’s met with a you that he almost recognizes. Like he’s seen this expression before. On the you, that only he really knows.

“y/n?” His brows slightly pinch together, confusion draping over his features. “Are you…” He glances around again, “Where’s Subin? And where’s the things from the store?”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

You didn’t realize you were capable of being a coward.

You want to move your feet. You want to open your mouth to speak. Hell, you want to blink. But you aren’t capable of anything. Except being a fucking coward.

Because you are afraid. You’re terrified. For more reasons than you can count.

You’re imprisoned, once again.

“Hey,” Jungkook studies your face, his concern evident. “What’s going on?”

Feeling a bit hesitant, Jungkook still walks closer to you. His concern only growing because you still don’t move, you still don’t make a sound, you still stare at him with wide eyes.

You stare at him and you only have one repeated thought that wanders around in your head. How easy would it be? How easy would it be to live ignorantly? The thing you have always refused to do. How easy would it be? How easy would it be to pretend your ‘memories’ are just theories that you brain is throwing out for fun? How easy to only trust Jungkook. And not yourself.

“y/n…” Jungkook’s eyes fill with worry. “Are you…” He lifts a hand towards you and you watch as it rises towards your face but your entire body jolts when you hear a loud slapping sound. Your dry lips finally part and you’re blinking repeatedly. You shoot your eyes to Jungkook’s face, only to see his expression completely twisted.

He stands frozen in front of you, hand still hangs in the air as his eyebrows pull together and his jaw hangs slack.

Your eyes go from his face to his hand when you lower your eyes to stare at your own hand.

You slapped his hand away.

Your brain sent signals to your body and that was the result.

So, no. To answer your question—it wouldn’t be fucking easy.

You both stand here, shocked by your own action.

Jungkook’s confusion only grows deeper, his hand slowly lowering to his side again when he takes a small step back. “Oh.” He says softly, the hurt is in his voice and it makes you wince. Or cringe. You aren’t sure which.

You try to open your mouth so words can force their way out but instead you notice the feeling of pins and needles start to poke at your skin. Your fingers, your toes, your lips. Confused, you bring your fingers to your mouth, fingers barely grazing over your bottom lip where it tingles uncomfortably. You drop your hand, curling your fingers in and out as you try to make sense of what’s happening.

You stare down at yourself, your chest rising and falling quickly.

When did you start breathing again?

And when did you start breathing this rapidly?

You glance around, feeling trapped because you’re sure this room is closing in on you. Everything is beginning to feel close and suffocating, like the walls are inching closer and closer, caging you in so you can suffer. Harsh, heavy breaths are pushing past your lips now. Panicked eyes going everywhere but Jungkook. Your throat…it’s closing in on you. Just like your walls. Your throat is growing smaller and smaller, your hands quickly flying to your neck and chest, as you touch yourself desperately.

“y/n.” Jungkook is in front of you again, his eyes totally focused on you and his worried eyes grow antsier. “Hey, what is happening?” His voice sounds rushed, panicked even. “Talk to me.”

You can’t talk though. You can’t swallow your own spit. You can’t even breathe.

“y/n.” Jungkook reaches for you again, both his hands on your arms but you flinch immediately, your blown out eyes landing on him when you shove him off.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You scream out, voice shrill and uneven. “D-Don’t fucking touch me, Jungkook.” You take several wobbly steps back, your breaths still rough and rapid.

Jungkook’s hands hang in the air, holding nothing but the ghost of your body he once knew.

His eyes are boring into the empty space and you see how utterly hurt he looks.

But you don’t have it in yourself to feel compassion for his confusion. Because right now, you only see Nabi’s face in your mind, along with Jungkook’s right next to her.

You wish you could control how your mind and body are feeling right now because if it were up to you, you would be calm and confronting Jungkook with ease because you are supposed to trust him. But you can’t control your anxiety, your panic or your dread.

Slowly lowering his arms, Jungkook tries to find your eyes with his and you notice the fear plaguing them. “y/n…” He tries your name, the word falling soft and cautious from his lips. “What’s going on?”

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, tingly lips and fingers making you feel even more strange as quick breaths force their way out of you. You need to relax. Fucking relax. You need to get it together so you can dismiss the images in your brain and fall into the arms of the man in front of you because you love him and you trust him. That’s right. Get this conversation over with so you can move on. Because surely, your brain is wrong.

“Um,” You pry your eyes open but your vision is a bit blurry from unfallen tears. “Okay…” You take several deep breaths, trying your hardest so you’ll be able to speak.

“Take your time.” Jungkook says in a whisper. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

You will be okay. You hope.

“Jungkook.” Your chest still rises and falls with each deep breath. “I-I have to…” You pause, tongue darting out to lick your dry lips. “I…I ran into Nabi at the store.”

Your words aren’t rushed as you say them, in fact, everything feels slow. Even Jungkook’s eyes widening and the fear inside them only grow fiercer seems to happen slowly. Like, the world around you is in slow motion until suddenly it’s not. Jungkook’s eyes quickly shoot down to the wooden floors as you see his mind working in overdrive.

“I know who she is.” You find the courage to say, “I ran into her before…she s-seemed familiar. But today, I suddenly got mem—”

“—What did you see?” Jungkook quickly looks at you again, panic written all over his face. “You probably didn’t—”

“—Did you cheat on…did you ch…” You stop, the words too painful as they sit on your tongue like a knife slicing it apart. “J-Jungkook were you having an—”

“—No!” Jungkook suddenly walks closer to you, his hands desperate to reach for you but he doesn’t. Perhaps, he’s afraid you’ll slap them away again. “Fuck, y/n, I—”

You see his anxiety clear as day and somehow it only makes you feel worse. Your breaths grow slower and something close to despair throws its arms around you and holds you close. “Jungkook,” You don’t want to ask it. You don’t want the answer. “Were…were you with her when Haru was taken?”

Jungkook’s rolls his lips until they’re set in a firm line across his face, his eyes closing for a brief moment and you notice regret sticking to him.

“Were you?” You repeat.

He opens his eyes again and with a quiet voice, he finally responds. “Yes.”

You suck in a sharp breath, but you try to remain as calm as possible. “Okay.” You give a curt nod, “And…have you gone to motels with her?”

He glances up briefly, jaw clenching, “Yes.”

A stab to your chest, “Okay. B-Before Haru was taken…were…” Your throat burns like acid sticks to the walls, “Were we having problems in our m-marriage?”

Jungkook’s expression twists, scrunching in panic, perhaps. “Yes.” He admits with a shaky voice.

You give a small nod before asking the question that makes or breaks this. “Were you seeing her because of a case?”

Jungkook immediately looks at you, wide, panicked eyes and you see how they fill with tears. His mouth drops open but only a shallow breath comes out. You wait for his answer. Need his answer. He quickly shuts his mouth, head turning to the side as you see him struggle to even look at you now, “No.” He finally says, the word pushed out as if he was in agony. And maybe he is.

He said no.

And just like that, you have your answer. Just like the past, he offers nothing more to ease your mind. No proof that there isn’t an affair happening. You stare at him. Lips parted and eyes blinking slowly.

Your breaths are calm. But you feel weak. Like his simple answer drained every bit of life out of your body. You almost wish you could scream, cry or even through something from the rage that must be inside you.

But it feels like there is nothing inside you.

This betrayal only has you feeling empty.

“You…” Your voice cracks, thick tears bubbling over and falling from your eyes. “You were…”

“y/n.” Jungkook finally looks at you again and he sounds terrified. “Please, please, I am begging you, to please trust—”

“—Trust you? Fine.” You cry out, “Tell me exactly what was going on then. Tell—Tell me everything!” You take a step forward, your voice clearly begging. “Explain the fuck-fucking situation, Jungkook. So I can fucking believe you.”

Jungkook stares at you, confliction in his eyes like how you’ve gotten used to.

“You can’t, right?” You scoff, tears wetting your warm cheeks. “You couldn’t then either. Y-You just can’t fucking tell me the truth, right?”

Jungkook finally breaks. His lips twisting, eyes shutting in frustration and you see his own tears. “y/n please…” He begs too, his hands going to his face, rubbing his tired eyes. “Fuck, please…you need to just….y/n…please just,” He chokes on his words, a quiet sob in his throat. “I can’t d-do this again, please…I can’t do this y/n.” He cries into his hands. “I fucking can’t. I can’t. Fuck fucking everything.”

You watch as he cries for himself. Feeling bad for himself. Pity for himself. Instead of being honest with you, he does this.

“Please trust me. Don’t trust what you’re see—”

“—You’re asking me to trust you but not myself?” You ask in almost disbelief. You might not remember everything but it seems your feelings from that time are still so alive inside you. And that’s what you’re going to trust. “You want me to believe you but not believe prior accident me? That d-doesn’t sit right with me.” You tell him.

“y/n…” He wipes at his eyes and his nose before trying to look at you, eyes afraid and pathetic, “Please don’t do this again…I can’t do this without you again,” He shakes his head, bottom lip quivering. “Please, my love.”

You take a step back, feeling overwhelmed. “D-Don’t call me that.”

It feels strange to be called that by him. Strange yet familiar. And you thought the oddness that accompanied the term of endearment is because you just aren’t used to it yet. But really it’s because he isn’t supposed to be calling you that. Not anymore.

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, not an ounce of pain felt. “You know,” You cry out in a whisper, “I don’t remember everything. But,” You try to speak through your tears. “But this heartache feels all too familiar. You need to leave…”

And somehow the despair in Jungkook’s eyes and the terror and look of defeat on his face also feel all too familiar.

Because you have both been through this before already.

~~~

It’s been a week since running into Nabi and confronting Jungkook. A week since you’ve cried. A week since you’ve felt anything rumbling inside your body. A week since you’ve left your house. A week since you’ve ate a proper meal. A week since you’ve felt anything beyond an empty despair.

Lying in bed at dawn, you lazily poke at Haru’s robot, the cold plastic on your fingertips. You poke it in the chest, over and over, soft yet determined.

“Do you have a heart in there?” You quietly ask it, somehow disappointed when it doesn’t answer you. “You…” You softly grip the toy, bringing it closer to your chest when you sigh out. “You don’t sleep either, right?”

And in the last week, the only one you’ve really talked to is this robot. Haru’s robot. You believe the comfort you feel from talking and holding this toy is because deep down you feel its familiarity with it being your sons. But also, you find yourself relating to this robot. Both empty, skin cold like plastic and neither of you having the ability to sleep. Only the option to ‘shut down’.

You glance towards the window, the sun rising again like it always does. And you wish it didn’t. You don’t want to see the sun, you don’t want to see any light. How could the world keep on going when for you, personally, it’s ended.

Your phone has been going off all week, your friends and parents expressing their concern for your quiet mood. Your parents don’t necessarily know what’s going on but Misuk and Subin have a better idea, considering Subin was there for the first half. You have asked for space and you’ve manage to let them know every night that you’re still here. Even when you kind of don’t want to be.

Jungkook hasn’t reached out even once.

You don’t want to talk to him but the fact that he’s quiet…it feels even more solidifying that he’s guilty.

And the fact your heart is broken beyond repair and it is so completely familiar to you…tells you he’s been guilty since then.

It hurts. It hurts more than you ever thought possible. Because even with missing memories, you feel how badly this hurts. Even though you don’t fully recall your actual relationship, you feel it. How real it was. How beautiful it was. How tragic it was.

You can feel the pain as if you actually never forgot it.

And that’s why you’re choosing to trust yourself.

You barely react when your phone goes off, eyes lazily sliding over to the device that lays abandoned on the other side of the bed. You debate checking it. But for whatever reason, you reach for it and see it’s only a text from Misuk asking if you’re free today.

You aren’t necessarily ready to face anyone quite yet but still, you tell her yes. You have received a few more memories that you’re piecing together like a jumbled up story and you’d like to talk about them.

“Are you…” Misuk eyes you over, pity all over her face as she leans back into the sofa, “You know, eating?”

“Sometimes.” You shrug, “I made an iced coffee today if that counts.”

“It doesn’t.” Misuk sighs out, “Why don’t I order us something? Subin should be here any second so I don’t want to ask her to pick something up when she’s this close by.”

“If you’re hungry, sure.” You shrug again. You keep your eyes lowered, fingers picking at your cuticles.

It’s only a few minutes later when Subin has joined you and Misuk on the couch. Her antsy hands running up and down her thighs as she waits for you to answer her question.

“So?” She softly urges you to respond.

“Yeah,” You reply quietly, eyes on your lap as you look completely detached from the conversation. “My memories were right, I guess.”

You hear Subin release a long breath before she curses, “Shit…”

You shrug, “I guess my miserable life before the accident continues, huh?” You chuckle bitterly, eyes losing focus on anything.

“At first you were.” Misuk whispers, “But lately you had gotten…I don’t know, maybe—”

“—Well, I’m actually probably more miserable than before. Because I have to rediscover everything and feel each little thing…one,” You start picking at your cuticles again, “By one.”

“y/n…” You can hear the pity in Subin’s voice.

“And this time, instead of feeling upset about my probably dead child, I can just feel guilty for not even remembering him. Mother of the year.” You rip back a piece of skin from the corner of your pinky, blood immediately pooling but you don’t care. You move to the next finger.

“y/n.” Misuk says your name in shock, “You don’t believe that for one second.”

You snap your head up, “Believe what?”

“That Haru is—”

“—I don’t even fucking know him.” You spit out. “And maybe it’s best that I never—”

“—You don’t mean that!” Subin cuts in, a soft disappointment in her voice. “I know this is hard and…” She stops talking when you narrow your eyes at her.

“You know how hard this is? Oh, do you?” Your lips turn up at the corner before you nod your head, “This happened to you before? You know what I’m going through?”

“Hey,” Misuk’s voice is scolding, “You know what Subin means.”

“Do I?” You scoff. “Let’s be honest guys,” You look between the two of them. “Do either of you even know me anymore? Do I even know you anymore? You said it yourself,” You look back down to your hands, “We barely speak anymore.”

“We barely speak because of you.” Misuk points out coldly, “You shut us out. And you’re trying to do it again! Like, wow here we go again.”

Your brow arches, almost looking amused. “Again?” You spit the word out. “Well, sorry Misuk, sorry that things fucking suck and I’m not here smiling for you. Again. I barely recall the first time this all happened and you’re mad I’m fucking reacting. Mad that I’m mad. I’m sad. I’m fucking heartbroken!” You cry out the last line. “I love you but maybe let’s not act like a bitch when neither of you know what the fuck I’m going through, hm?” You raise your brows at her with icy eyes.

Misuk’s brows furrow but you see something flash across her face. It’s not anger. You don’t even think she’s offended. Instead you see understanding. She slowly nods her head, glancing at Subin before she clears her throat. “Okay, I’m sorry.” She says quietly, “You’re right…you’re totally right and I’m sorry. I guess…” She pauses.

“We just miss you, y/n.” Subin continues for Misuk, “We’re afraid to lose you again. That’s all. But you’re right, you shouldn’t have to act like everything is okay when it’s not.”

Misuk nods, eyes searching for yours, “And it’s not.” She says softly, “I really am sorry.”

You continue to stare down at your lap, lips pressed into one another.

“If you’re able…why don’t you tell us what you do remember?” Misuk tries to get you to open up again instead of shutting down. You know this. You want to answer…it’s why you let them come over in the first place.

You nod, eyes still lowered. “Okay.”

Subin reaches over and gives your shoulder a squeeze, “Whatever feels manageable. Don’t push yourself too much.”

Finally lifting your eyes towards your friends, you decide to fill them in. “I’ve been remembering a few things.” You admit. “Not actual memories? I don’t know how to explain it. Not…you know, movie scenes in my head but I remember certain things because it’s like…I just know. Does…does that make sense? No, it probably doesn’t, right?”

“Like you’re remembering facts rather than images?” Misuk asks and you immediately nod your head quickly.

“Yes!” You say with a bit of enthusiasm. “That’s exactly it. So, basically…just things I know about our—Jungkook and I’s—marriage.”

“Oh.” Subin’s eyes are eager to know more.

“Misuk was right. It was rocky.”

“I knew it.” Misuk curses, “You never really outright said it but…I kind of figured. You never were the type to admit something like that since you’re the type to solve things by yourself.”

“I guess I didn’t really solve anything.” You feel your body grow heavier. “I asked Jungkook if things were rough before and he admitted that it was. Since then, it’s like little facts are showing up in my brain out of nowhere…like his admission unlocked some part of my memories or something…”

“Were you two just fighting a lot?” Subin asks.

You try to think about it. It’s not like you remember a specific argument but you know the answer is yes. “Yeah.”

“But you think he was having an affair with…” Misuk glances at Subin, “What was her name again?”

“Nabi.” You say. “But our problems were starting before that, I think. I know we were fighting all the time. I just know. I also know he was keeping things from me. He was barely home anymore and I felt…” You chew on your lips, unsure of what exactly it was since you don’t know everything. But one word keeps popping up in your mind. “Unfulfilled.” You say, the word somehow resonating with you like you’ve said it before.

“Yeah.” Misuk agrees quietly, “You mentioned something like that in the past…way before Haru’s kidnapping.”

“Misuk,” You suddenly find her eyes, “Why did I lead you to believe Jungkook was wronging me somehow?”

“You mentioned someone else.” She tells you, “But you didn’t give me any detail. But you were so…sureabout something and I believed you. Your expression.” Misuk frowns, “I knew something serious must have had occurred because I had never seen you like that.”

You glance back down at your lap, your focus on your hands again. “I see.” Then you lift your eyes again, “I remember that at that time I was suspicious of Jungkook. Of the affair. I know I dug deeper and found things that I wish I never had…” You recall the memories that hit you at the market. “Eventually I confronted him and just like now, he was unable to give me an explanation. And I was right.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Misuk huffs out, eyes going to the ceiling. “That’s terr—”

“—And he was with her. When Haru was taken. I don’t know how I know, but he was supposed to be picking Haru up from daycare. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to but I know that it was something I needed from him…something for him to do to make me feel like he was a part of this family. But he failed.” Your words grow quieter with each syllable. “And I know that for the first time in my life,” You stare at nothing, eyes growing watery. “That I hated someone. With my entire being.”

It's quiet. Neither of your friends having the courage to say anything to your words.

You try to clear your throat and blink back any tears in your eyes before looking at them again, “But still, so much doesn’t make sense and there’s so much still missing.” You feel your heart grow weaker as you chuckle humorlessly, “And Jungkook hasn’t tried to reach out to me even once…which just feels like more proof.”

“I can’t imagine Jungkook even looking at someone who isn’t you…” Subin whispers, “He…well, I guess we don’t ever really know what goes on. I find it hard to hate him but seeing what he’s done to—"

“—I know I truly hated him then.” You cut her off with a shaky voice. “And I think I hate him now, too. But,” You search both of your friends eyes with desperation so depressing, “If I hate him this much it’s because I also,” You choke, “Love him this much too, right?” You ask the question so innocently and delicately as your voice cracks.

You let yourself feel your own question and for the first time since a week ago—you cry. You let tears fall and you let your body break. “Because—Because I do. I love him so much that its hurting me. I…I can’t even b-breathe because I love him. I can’t—can’t sleep because I love him.” You shoulders shake as you sob loudly. Almost like a child. “I can’t remember my own child be—because I love him.” You slam your eyes shut, mouth hung open as you choke on your sobs. “My brain c-can’t show my memories because I love him. He’s—he’s the only thing my b-brain wants to think about.”

At a loss for words, Misuk and Subin feel their hearts breaking in their chests. This is more devastating than the first time. They realize, you were right, this is more miserable.

~~~

It’s been three weeks since Jungkook has seen you. Since he’s seen you, his light. The only thing in this entire world that could possibly make him feel alive. The only thing in the entire universe that could make his heart beat again. You’re the only one keeping him from going insane or ending his own life. He had always held onto the hope that one day this will be behind you guys.

And then he can touch you again, hold you again, openly love you again.

But mostly, for you to love him again.

His apartment is how it always is, TV blaring with the news on. The blueish light illuminates his entire living room and lately it has been his only source of light. You, his true source, no longer rising in his sky.

It’s around four in the afternoon when Jungkook’s phone starts going off, the vibrating making his coffee table buzz. He rubs his eyes with a fist before setting his nearly empty beer bottle down to the table and reaching for the device.

Jimin.

Jungkook rolls his eyes before answering, “I told you to leave me alone.” He slurs into the phone.

“Are you fucking drunk again?” Jimin doesn’t hide his disapproval. “Going to pull this shit again, Jungkook?”

“Fuck off, Jimin.” Jungkook brings the phone away from his face and ends the call.

Not even ten seconds pass before his phone is buzzing again in his hands. He groans loudly as he answers it again, “What the fuck do you—”

“—Just fucking listen, you moron.” Jimin cuts in, “I’m already risking everything by being in contact with you. And now you’re back to your old ways.” He scoffs, “If you fuck this up, I swear I’ll come to your shit apartment and kick your ass myself.”

Jungkook drunkenly chuckles into the phone, “You don’t have to help—”

“—Help you?” Jimin scoffs again, “I’m not doing this for you and you know it.”

“Whatever,” Jungkook grumbles while reaching for his beer again and taking a swig, “What do you want?”

“Lee Jaesung.” Jimin says.

Immediately Jungkook leans forward on his couch, something more serious falling over his face before he asks, “What about him?”

“Well, he was the only thing getting us closer to this shit.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook sets the beer down again, “Does he have new information?”

“He’s dead.” Jimin informs with a bite to his tone, “Guy was found in his apartment. Apparent suicide.”

Jungkook grits his teeth, “Fucking bullshit.”

“I know.” Jimin sighs, “You’ve been MIA and I need you to get your shit together if we’re going to—”

“—Count me out.” Jungkook slurs into the phone, “I’m done.”

Jimin is quiet for a moment before he’s chuckling into the phone, “You’re really back to this, huh? You’re sad, Jungkook. I told you years ago you were going to ruin your marriage. Didn’t I?”

Jungkook grips the edge of the couch cushion, eyes growing darker as he watches the bright TV screen. “Shut up.” He seethes, “Don’t bring up—”

“—You ruined your entire life you fucking drunk.” Jimin spits at him, “Fix your shit then call me.”

Jungkook keeps the phone to his ear despite the fact that Jimin has hung up. It slides down his cheek and eventually falls to the floor as he continues to stare at the bright screen of his TV. He is here again. And it’s not like he can’t not believe that he’s back to this because it never feels like he ever wasn’t like this. This is just who he is now. It’s the him that he knows. And when you woke up knowing the him he used to know…it almost felt like he could be that person again.

Having to tell you about Haru again…heartbreaking.

But having to see you experience that same betrayal and heartache…pure utter torture.

Jungkook drunkenly reaches for the TV remote and shuts it off, the room going completely dark. His closed blinds and heavy drapes block out the sun that isn’t you. He is in darkness because in his life there is no light.

Because you aren’t here anymore.

“Yes, well, believe it or not…” You sigh into your phone, small smile on your lips. “I’m actually getting out of the house today.”

“To eat a real meal?” Misuk asks knowingly.

“Kind of?” You laugh. “I’m in the mood for coffee but like, not from my coffee pot.”

Misuk tsks, “Fine. But at least buy a cookie or something too.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You tell her, “I found a cute café not too far away. Not a full menu place with servers like the one Subin likes—not that she even wants to go there anymore—but this place is like a little hole in the wall. Good reviews too.”

“I wish I could ditch work and join you.” She whines, “But I’ll have to stick to break room coffee.”

“Sounds horrible.”

“Oh, it is.” She laughs, “But okay. I hope you enjoy the café.”

“Me too,” At this point you hope you enjoy anything.

But the world is still dark.

And you’re hoping a nice outing with a good caffeinated drink could offer a little shining light in this complete darkness that consumes you. Even if it’s temporary.

“I’ll talk to you later, Misuk.” You say before you’re both hanging up.

You look ahead, eyes on the building in front of you. You didn’t tell Misuk you’re actually already here but too afraid to get out of your car and walk inside. You aren’t sure why you’re afraid. Maybe it’s because it’s your first real outing since memories started coming to you. Maybe you’re afraid the more places and people you see, it will trigger more to unlock.

And you’re afraid of more truths that you wish would stay hidden would reveal themselves.

It’s hard but you finally manage to get out of your car and force your legs to take you inside. But the moment you step inside and you’re greeted with the smell of coffee and baked good, you immediately relax.

It’s not a busy place at all. It’s small maybe the size of your living room and kitchen combined. Just a long counter with cookies, cakes and breads that smell delicious and an artsy menu board hanging on the back wall with a long list of drinks. And along one of the walls and all the windows is small, round tables with chairs.

You take a breath before walking to the counter and a girl with bright eyes greets you with a heartwarming grin. When you tell her you’ve never been, she happily gestures to the menu and begins telling you all her favorite drinks. And she claims you must try their chocolate cookies.

“Hm,” You weigh all your options, feeling tempted by the lavender tea she mentioned. “Okay yeah, I’ll get that.”

“And a cookie too?” She smiles.

You can’t help but chuckle, it’s as if Misuk told this girl to ask you that. “Sure, a cookie too.”

“Okay!”

After you pay, the girl motions towards a wall with a bookshelf, “Feel free to browse. I’ll have you order up soon and I’ll call for you.”

“Thanks.” You smile.

You decide to take her up on it, eyes browsing this bookshelf while your fingers brush against the spines. There’s some books you recognize and a ton that you don’t. You can tell which books are popular and which aren’t—the dust giving it away.

After several minutes of looking over book titles, the girl calls you over since your drink and cookie are ready. You excitedly go to the counter, hands reaching for the items and your nose is being blessed. You can tell this cookie is about to change your world.

“Thanks!” You say before excitedly and quickly turning around to find a table when you literally run into someone. This needs to stop happening to you. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if—

“Ah, Hot! Hot!” An unexpected voice yelps, “Hooooooooly shit, that’s hot!”

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” You stare at a broad chest, a button up shirt completely soaked as you begin to panic. “Are you—Are you okay?”

The man in front of you starts airing his shirt out, trying his best for the hot liquid to not burn his chest, you’re sure. “Ooooooh,” He whistles out, “That hurts.”

“Oh my god…I’m…I am so so—”

“—No worries,” He starts laughing, still airing the shirt. “It kind of feels like that first moment when you get under a hot shower.”

You stare at his chest, completely panicked…he’s not going to press charges, right? Is that a thing? You could have seriously burned him! “Are you okay? Seriously—” You finally rip your eyes from his shirt to get a look at him.

“Seriously,” He laughs more, “I’m okay.”

You gaze at him, his smile is spread across his face while he looks down at his shirt now.

“Good thing I keep extra shirts at work.” He says before glancing back up and locking eyes with you. “No harm here.”

You feel guilt sink it. “Oh my god, I hope I didn’t ruin your shirt…will it stain?”

“You’re worried about this shirt?” He laughs loudly while his eyes crinkle cutely. “Wow, my mom would be so happy that at least someone cares about this thing. It was a Christmas present…and I’m pretty sure it was actually meant for my brother.”

You can’t help but snort, “Oh.”

“Literally only wearing it because I’m hoping something will happen to it and I can finally have a reason to throw it away.” He smiles, “And finally,” He looks up at the ceiling and pumps the air with his fists, “I can get rid of it!”

You watch him, unsure if he’s serious or just trying to make you feel better. But either way…it does make you feel better.

“Is it still hot?” You find yourself asking, eyes back on his wet chest.

“Nah,” He waves you off with a goofy grin, “Now it’s sort of just sticking to me uncomfortably and it’s cold now.”

“Oh.” You suddenly feel bad again.

“Which is great because the sun is unforgiving today, don’t you think? So hot.” He begins fanning himself, grin still on his face before he glances down to the package in one of your hands. “Is that a chocolate chip cookie? Those are the best here!”

You look down, “Oh…oh yeah. Um, it is.”

“You should probably eat it, maybe you’ll finally smile. They’re that good.” He winks at you, “Or if you drowning in guilt over here, you could always let me have a piece too and we can call this whole,” He motions between you both, “thing even.”

You stare at him for a moment, completely taken aback by his energy. He’s still smiling and it feels infectious, like you want to smile too.

And you do.

Though it is small and timid. You do.

In all this overwhelming darkness that has wrapped its arms around you, suffocating you in an unwanted embrace…all you really need right now in your life is some sort of light getting shed so you can finally see something besides your own despair.

You just need some light.

And little do you know that a bright, bright light is coming into your life.

And that light has a name.

And he goes by Kim Seokjin.

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yaekiss · 9 months

Text

꩜ Room Content: GN! Dom! Reader x AMAB! Male! Sub! Sydney the Faithful, no gendered terms for reader, jerking Sydney off in a cinema, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: This has been on my mind for so long, ugh the grip Sydney has on my mind is maddening. Might also do a corrupted Sydney version after this who knows teehee :3c

It was meant to be something relaxing. At least that's what Sydney had in mind when he agreed to a movie date with you at the cinema.

It's been a while since he's seen one so he thought that it'd be fun to watch one together. (He was even the one who suggested watching the newest romance movie after hearing about it from Robin.)

So how did it ever end up like this?

Maybe he should've paid more attention to Robin talking about the movie because when the beginning of a sex scene starts to play on the screen, he flushes instantly, hands shooting up and shielding his face to prevent him from seeing the lewdness on display.

His sudden actions catch your eye and you turn to take in the delicious view of your lover trying to tune out the raunchy moans from the actors, eyes squeezed shut and brows furrowed so cutely that you just want to eat him up ♡

Your hand finds its way over to the edge of his pants, pulling the band before letting it go, snapping against his skin. A squeak escapes him as his eyes fly open, surprised by your actions.

"W-what are you doing?" Sydney's voice is shaky, volume slightly above a whisper.

"I'm just helping distract you from the movie, angel. Now quieten down, you wouldn't want the people to realise, would you?"

Worried, he surveys the other cinemagoers around the both of you and breaths a sigh of relief when no one else heard the squeak he let out. Turning back to face you, he notices the hunger in your eyes and the blush on his cheeks deepen.

His hands are still held up in front of him so you take the opportunity to slip your fingers past his waistband, teasing at the rim of his boxers. The sensation of your fingers on the skin of his hips has him quivering but he makes no move to stop you from taking this even further. You press on, dipping into his boxers and when you come into contact with his already half-hard cock, he jolts in his seat, biting down on his lip to muffle any noises from him.

Leaning closer, you take his cock into your hand, gradually stroking him until he's hard and dripping. His self-restraint wavers when your nails glide across his slit, hips bucking up with a sharp gasp. Alarmed, his eyes dart around the surroundings, heart jackrabbiting in his chest at the prospect at getting caught. Working him up to his orgasm, he's squirming in his seat, moving one of his hands down to bite down on to stifle his moans as he loses himself in the pleasure you're showing him.

A harsh tug and a scratch along the underside of his dick is what tips him over the edge, he doubles over and his hands immediately shoot to grasp at your wrist so that he can rut into your hand as pure euphoria overtakes him. There's a wet patch growing on the fabric of his pants but he's too caught up in the bliss to notice.

After he rides out his high, he slumps back against the backrest, boneless and panting as he tries to process everything that just happened. Retracting your hand covered in his spend, you hold it before him, expectant. Hesitant, he slowly licks away his cum. He's slightly put off by the taste of his own cum at the start but determined, he carries on until your hand is completely cleaned. Giving your fingers one last suck, he pulls away, face still hot from arousal. As thanks, you grab his face and pull him in for a heated kiss that leaves him melting in his seat, his brain mushy. The only thing he can think of is you, you, you. + + Love

Well, he can't lie, he supposes the movie was relaxing in a way! - - Sydney's Purity

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

#📜.qi writings #📜.qi rambles #degrees of lewdity #dol #dol x reader #dol smut #sub dol #sydney the faithful #dol sydney #dol sydney x reader #dol sydney smut #sub dol sydney #dom reader #so normal for him.#so so so super duper extremely normal.#still trying to get a hang of writing for sydney so lmk if anything is too ooc 💀#sydney train pulling into brainrot station choo choo 🚂

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crabonfire · 10 months

Note

TSSM DOC OCK WITH TALL (average) S/O WHO USES HEIGHT ADVANTAGE TO FLUSTER!!

Pre and post octofication? If possible?

I wanted to request but didn’t get the confidence until you started demanding TSSM requests :)

Hope this is ok!

OH LETS FUCKING GOOOO TSSM REQUEST BABEYYY

Taller!S/O flustering TSSM Doc Ock!

character: pre and post accident TSSM Otto Octavius

note: babe don’t be nervous!! I’ve been into spider-man and tssm related shit for years now, I just never thought anybody would be interested in my work. I’d love more tssm requests!! It’s my main interest now anyways :)

anyway, request away!!! hehe :)

ALSO I love pre accident otto he’s so cute :(

last note, I wanted to add some uh, tiny, tiny TINY bits of lore between the two of you in the pre octofication, just to make it more interesting :D!

warnings: none, fluff :)

♡Otto Octavius♡

- He was always a pretty insecure man in terms of how he’d look, (and his personality too aw man) he always saw his body as something he wasn’t proud of. People under minded him for it, especially at work. Which is why he was surprised to find out you really liked him. When you had asked him out he asked multiple times with a red face, “Y-You’re joking!” or “Did someone put you up to this?”

But when you smiled at him so genuinely, shaking your head no and telling him you liked him…he felt like he was going to burst.

- When you two started dating, he found it a bit hard to make eye contact for very long. For he found that he’d get lost in your eyes, mesmerized by you completely. He was a shy man, and he never spoke his mind much when it came to how you made him feel. He was always quite flustered with you.

When you realized this, you started to use it to your advantage.

- On one occasion, he was in his office, typing away and sorting through files on his latest project. After hours of working he had finally stepped out to get a drink from the kitchen. You decided to try and stall him a little, maybe convince him to take a break. You had him backed up to a wall, hand resting beside his head, as you leaned down to his face. His cheeks are as red as tomatoes, looking at you mouth agape and eyes widened. You can’t help the smirk that forms on your face, eyes gazing at him intensely.

“Otto.”

“Y-Yes?”

You tilted your head a bit, blinking, still staring at him. The tension is killing him, your so close he can feel you breathing.

“Take a break hon, you’ve been cooped up in that desk for so long…”

He huffed, looking awkwardly at the floor. “Oh, I mustn’t…it’s I-important I finish this..” you took your hand, taking his chin to face you again. You frowned slightly, “But I miss you. Just one break, please?” He blinks, his lips quivering trying to find the voice to deny you. He swallows, “W-Well…I guess one break w-wouldn’t hurt.” He mutters. You smile at him, leaning in to kiss him, which he immediately returns. When you pull back you can see the slightly disappointed look on his face. You quickly step back with a whole different mood, grinning at him. “Great! Come sit with me, I was watching a movie.” You walk over to the couch, leaving him speechless as his heart doesn’t stop its pounding.

He’s flustered, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he stands there wondering what the fuck just happened to him.

- He found himself in this situation many times, pinned to a wall or how your head rested on-top of his with arms wrapped around him, engulfing him in a hug.

And every single time he couldn’t help the red that’d seep to his cheeks, the racing of his heart and and the wanting to drop everything he was doing to look up at you all day.

Oh yeah, he has to look up when he talks to you. It’s adorable 😭

♡Doctor Octopus♡

- No longer has he have to suffer the neck pain of looking up at you, because now… HE HAS HIS OCTOPUS ARMS!!

- But on the rare occasion where he’s just standing like a normal guy, you always take your chance to try and fluster you like you did before. This time, he’s not so shy about his feelings.

- You’d have him pinned against a wall just like before, it was difficult to get into this position but you did.

“Hey doc.”

He smirks, “What’s this, Y/N?”

You mirror his smirk, “What ever do you mean, Doc? I’m just, having a conversation with you.”

He chuckles, shaking his head and looking up at you with tinted cheeks. “I see. My apologies, I just never considered being pinned to a wall was a way to talk to somebody.”

“Oh, so this your first time?” You snickered at your own dumb joke, he found that cute.

“No, I’m very well experienced actually.”

You laughed. You rested your other hand to the other side of his head, trapping him in as you leaned down to kiss him. He kissed you back, passionately and slow. One of his hands had cupped your cheek, the other firm against your chest as his receptors pulled you in. He felt himself melt whenever he’d kiss you, even with his newfound confidence he still never got rid of that sweet ache in his chest. When you pulled back, before you could say anything, he flipped you over.

Now you were the one pinned to he wall, his receptors lifted him slightly to be eye level with you, a hand over your head as he leaned while the other had held your chin pinched between his pointer index and his thumb. He had an obnoxious smile on his face when he saw how your face reddened, eyes wide in surprise. He chuckled, whispering in a low tone;

“What about you Y/N, is this yours?”

♡♡♡

spot the harness your hopes refrence and I'll give u a cookie :)♡

HOPE U ENJOYEDDD request more tssm shit I love them

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beautifulpersonpeach · 5 months

Note

I’ve been reading your blog for the better part of the year and it’s helped me rethink many things. This year was weird for me and I’ve been reflecting, I finally got courage to write this confession and I only feel comfortable sending it here. It’s okay if you post it. I think there are other people like me.

My Confession:

I’m an Orbit-Blink shooter who used to fight with an Army shooter daily until she died during the earthquakes in Turkey this year. I didn’t realize how much of my life and fan experience was tied to her until she died BPP. The way I got into shooting was through my Blink friend who introduced me to Loona when they debuted. At first I thought I was defending Loona and then defending Blackpink, but at some point shooting on its own for any reason became addicting. I would jump in on a ratio, throw insults and post gore and graphic images to people’s DMs for any small reason.

There was one Army shooter I hated because she was always there with screenshots or videos to drag Blackpink. Whenever there was a fanwar I knew I would see her there. And times when she wasn’t in the fight, I would use another account pretending to be an Army to tell her what was happening so I could rile her up to join the fight. I didn’t know it at the time but I loved fighting with her. She made me feel alive. The way she was passionate about BTS made me want to get some of that passion directed at me in any form.

Now, after months of reflecting, that’s what I realized. Because when the earthquake happened, I didn’t know she was dead. I kept checking her account for days, sending DMs from my fake Army profile, wondering why she was not replying. I even created a new scandal for Taehyung in our shooter group but she didn’t tweet. Then 2 weeks later her cousin tweeted from her account to say she died in the earthquake. BPP, it was like my whole life stopped. I became extremely depressed and dealt with extreme self loathing. I couldn’t look at any fandom fight without thinking about all the things I did to her. I hated myself and wanted to die. I went through that Armys profile and saw how her love for BTS was genuine. After months of therapy now I understand more why I acted like that, but it’s something I’ll forever be ashamed about.

In the depths of my depression I deleted Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. After some weeks of missing what’s happening, I got Tumblr and found your blog talking about fandom behavior. In so many ways you’ve saved my life BPP. The way I was shooting was more for other shooters than Loona or Blackpink or even myself. I realize now there’s a whole subculture of kpop shooters and I think what they have is an addiction. I notice the same things with how solo stans behave. They think they’re doing it for the idols but it’s for them and other stans they’re fighting. It creates destruction. Life is short. Why spend it on something destructive?

I’ve changed everything about how I behave online. Through therapy and reading your blog, I realize people use fandom to express themselves, and if that expression is mostly negative, there’s deeper problems with that person that needs solving. Now I curate my space and avoid shooters and fanwars completely. I now focus on what I enjoy which is good lore and good music (I still enjoy a good fight but I now satisfy this need by getting engaged in Munk Debates in my city). Loona’s lore was the reason I was interested in them, so after weeks of stalking that dead Army’s profile, I learned that BTS has lore too. I fell down the BTS rabbit hole and officially became an Army on Jimin’s birthday (after reading your blog I’m now Yoonminkook biased hehe)

I’m a very new Army but an ‘old’ kpop fan and reformed shooter. I’ve committed to live a life that’s critical and compassionate. Because of how I’ve become Army, some things I’m seeing in how fans of diff fandoms act has a different meaning to me. I still struggle with shame and sometimes when I see fanwars or see solos trending hashtags and things, I remember me from what feels like long ago. I remember that Army shooter who feels like someone I owe my life to. I remember how so much is going on in the world and we could do with more kindness but people use fandom to be awful assholes. I was one such person, attimes I still have to bite my tongue. But what I do now is log off, go do something physical and positive that makes me tired, or scroll through your blog archives.

There might be people like me trying to get away from the shooter mindset and struggling because it’s hard. It’s like an addiction. I want those people to know it’s doable. Recognizing the problem is the hardest part for real so if they are at that point, it gets easier from there.

Thank you for having this blog BPP. I hope you stay here in 2024 as well.

***

Happy to hear you’re in a better head space than earlier this year.

Take care of yourself. Really.

#bts #kpop #kpop fandom #fandom behaviour #BTS army #BTS fandom #bts solo stans #fandom shooters

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robinsvoid · 1 year

Note

Ok so its me again and im currently bombarding you with requests but this is one that has been just COMPLETELY taking over my brain atm.

Robin and reader getting into an argument and making up a few days later! And its just all brainrotting fluff and kissing and ugh ;(

༺ ˖࣪ all i need to hear

pairing. robin buckley x f!reader

content warnings. angst! with a happy ending. long post ahead! light makeout session.

note. sorry again for the late reply :sob: i hope u like it anon, i wrote it as fic than a blurb bc i thought it fit hehe

robin is amazing. the sweetest girlfriend you could ever ask for. she takes care of you, makes you happy, and loves you endlessly. you’re always on her mind, just as she is on yours. but it’s hard being together in this predominantly small-minded town, always having to hide your love for each other. you wish you could show the world how incredible she is, how happy she made you. but maybe in another time, you suppose.

and you miss her. even though you see her everyday at school; fleeting gazes during classes you shared with each other, hiding in the corner of the library on different occasions, meeting in the bathroom to share a few secret kisses when no one’s there. but then after school, she gets busy.

it bothers you, how robin seems to have enough time to hang out with everyone but you. she always meets you at lunch, and by your locker right after the last bell, then leaves for band practice and works right after. it’s nice hearing her voice when she calls at night right after she gets off work, but you can’t help but miss her still. you need to see her, be with her, touch her, hold her, kiss her.

luckily, you’ll be able to do all of that tomorrow on saturday before the sun sets, out in some field far from everybody on a picnic blanket you bought at joyce’s store. you had spent days preparing, making all the food robin likes, and cakes, and sandwiches. you couldn’t wait.

that’s why you walk up to robin when she’s packing her things from her locker, after the last bell when everybody rushes out to leave, to tell her all about your excitement. but she looked tired, stressed even, and you wish you could fix it. she’s busy all the time, and you wonder how well she is doing mentally. she also seemed to be rushing a little faster than she usually does, making you wonder what was going on inside her pretty little head.

“hey, rob,” you smile brightly at her, clutching the strap of your backpack a little tighter as she continues to pack, “no band practice? headed to work?”

“uh, no and yes.” she says rather quickly.

robin sighs and turns to look at you, her lips curving into a feeble smile. you looked pretty today, she wishes she could spare a minute to just stare at you, tell you all about how beautiful you are, but she couldn’t. not with the sound of steve’s horn blaring just past the school doors, when it seemed to get louder after each honk.

“is that steve—“

“yeah, we can’t be late to work or else keith’s making us work the morning shifts on the weekend and steve has plans on the weekends and, you know, i won’t get up early on the weekends, so we really have to go now,” robin rubs your shoulder with her hand and smiles. “but i’ll call you later!”

she mouths an ‘i love you’ and quickly rushes past you before you could say anything back. you turn around, slightly troubled, as you watched robin run through the school doors. you see steve in his car, waving briefly at you with a smile before driving off as soon as robin gets in.

a sigh escapes your mouth as you lean against the lockers, already missing your girlfriend’s presence. it’s fine, though, you tell yourself. she’ll call. and you’ll see her tomorrow. everything’s going to be okay.

at least you hoped it would be.

because, well, she didn’t call. it was almost midnight and robin usually calls you before eleven and she didn’t call. you sigh as you lay in bed, still waiting. maybe she fell asleep the moment she got home, because she does that sometimes. and she’ll tell you about it the morning after. that was probably the case.

you fall asleep waiting, shutting your eyes before the clock strikes one. the next morning you wait for her call again.

your phone never rang.

you hoped for the best, assuming that she was preparing for today, maybe she was already on her way to your house, the thought making you jump up from your bed, running down to the kitchen, packing all of the food into a basket your mom bought for you before running back up to dress up and make yourself all pretty for robin.

you do everything with all possible haste, checking the time and deciding that it was still a little bit early. laying in your bed, hoping you don’t mess up your hair too much, you wait and wait. and it was a lot waiting.

where was she? it was already three in the afternoon and it takes a while to get the field. you want to get there before it gets dark, but you also want enough time before the sun sets so that it wouldn’t be as hot as it was at noon. you pick up your telephone and dial her number. she doesn’t answer. where are you, robin?

you spend the next two hours glancing out the window repeatedly, hoping to see robin riding up on her bicycle, fluffy hair ruffled by the wind, a big jacket hanging loosely on her shoulders. but no one was there.

it had gotten partly dark already and your eyes brimmed with tears, threatening to smudge your eyeliner and the rest of your make up. you hated everything you were feeling; lost and dejected and stood up. you decide to get yourself out of your nice clothes and back into your pajamas, wiping all of your make up off afterwards. and just as you were about to get into bed, you hear a some shuffling past your window, then a multiple taps, pebbles clattering against your windowpane.

there was only one person who would do that. and it’s your girlfriend. you see robin looking up at you with a shameful smile, her bicycle laid flat in your lawn, her hair ruffled, her chest rising and falling rather quickly, panting as if she had just ran a mile as fast as she could.

after basically pleading, motioning you to come down, you mustered up all of your courage, still heated from earlier before running down the stairs of your house. stepping out the door, you tugged on your shirt watching as robin reluctantly walked closer. you could tell she had a lot on her mind, a lot of guilt sitting in her chest.

she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. and you can’t help but bite your lip, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“why didn’t you call?”

robin flinched slightly at the tone of your voice. it was quiet. faint. like you’ve been crying. and she already knew that after seeing the way your eyes puffed up, nose a little red and stuffy.

“last night. i-it was really, really busy, i don’t know why. it was like the the whole town was in to have movie night or something and i-i got home and i just passed out the second i stepped into my room. i was tired, a-and i meant to call, but i fell asleep first! (y/n), i was just—“

“and this morning?”

robin answered truthfully, fingers playing anxiously with the hem of her denim jacket, “i-i was at work this morning. keith ended up giving us the morning shift anyway and i- i was rushing again earlier, didn’t have the time to call because steve was already in the driveway so—“

“you could’ve called me while you were at work, robin. it only takes a second.”

“i know! i know. i should’ve. (y/n), i’m so sorry i didn’t—“

“then, why didn’t you?” you say slowly, folding your arms and tears threatening to stain your cheeks once again as you watch robin fidget in distress. “you… you forgot, didn’t you?”

robin’s shoulders slump, eyes falling to stare at the cold ground. she didn’t mean to. she remembered before, but she had gotten so busy with work, practice, and everything else, stressing her out daily. her heart breaks as she watches the look on your face. she wants to take it all away from you; to hold you, to make you smile.

“i feel like you never have time for me anymore, robin. we haven’t done anything together in weeks and the day of the date we planned, you don’t show up. do you know how much i miss you? do you even miss me?”

“yes! of course, i miss you. i miss you everyday—“

“but not enough to remember me?”

robin swears she can hear her heart crack as she opens her mouth to speak, voice straining obscurely, “(y/n), please don’t—“

“just go home, robin.” your voice breaks.

and you don’t say anything else. instead, robin watches you rub your face hurriedly, wiping the tears that you didn’t even give the chance to roll down your skin. she watches as you step away from her, flinching softly at the sound of you slamming the front door. and she stands there for a while, just staring up at your window, hoping you would come to watch her leave like you always do.

but you don’t.

so she bikes all the way home, cries all the way home, misses you all the way home. she wants to go back, to see you again, to tell you how much she loves you. and she calls tonight, but you don’t answer. and she calls again, but you don’t answer.

it’s been happening for three days now; you avoid her during class, you pack your things and leave early after school, you don’t pick up the phone. she wonders what it’ll take for you to notice her, to talk to her. she missed you. she’s been missing you. she wants to hear your voice, wants to feel your skin against hers, wants to kiss you. she misses you so dearly. she loves you so dearly.

on the fourth day, you pick up when she calls you after school. it surprised her when the phone stopped ringing, when she was finally able to hear your voice at the other end of the call, leaving her speechless. in fact, you almost ended it when she went on for so long without saying anything.

“can i come over?” she was hesitant, you could tell by the sound of her voice. it was shaky and she talked slow, almost breathlessly.

you sat on your bed, holding the telephone to your ear for a couple moments, thinking about your decision. you missed her, too. dearly. you wanted her with you. even if you were mad at her. it was one of the many reasons you said yes.

robin bikes over in less than twenty minutes, surprisingly, as it usually takes her a little over thirty minutes to get to your house. she knocks on your door with a rhythmic pattern only you know of and gives you no less than a second to react to the hug she pulled you in for, stumbling a couple of clumsy steps into your house. you breathe her in, still hesitant to hug her back, but you can’t help but give in and wrap your arms around her waist. she smelled of grass and flowers and soon, you figure out why when you pull away from her. she held a flimsy bouquet of flowers that she obviously picked out herself, dirt slightly stuck between her fingernails, petals of yellow and white in her hair, and some of the stems were broken, flowers hanging on for their dear life.

“um, i-it’s for you.” robin, stretches her arm out, handing them to you nervously.

“thank you,” you reply. you could feel her hands shaking when you take them from her. “i’ll go put them in the kitchen. and… it’s just me here, so you don’t have to worry about my family...”

it has her in a daze, seeing you walk away. you were still in the clothes you wore to school, no shoes on, hair down. you look pretty. it’s a thought that often resides in robin’s brain, but you really do. you always do. she mindlessly follows you into the kitchen, watching your every movement. but you did everything to avoid her eyes, and it hurt her.

“are you hungry?”

robin’s eyes widen, your voice pulling her out of her daydream. you placed a tiny mug full of the flowers robin picked out for you onto the kitchen table. she stared at you, unable to formulate the words she wanted to say to you, not knowing if she should answer yes or no, questioning all of her decisions like her life depended on it.

“the cake i made you is still in the fridge. i don’t know if it’s as good as it was before but—“

“yeah! i’m hungry.”

and robin eats it all. not caring if she gets sick from eating too much cake. the only thing that mattered to her was the way you tried to hide your smile when you see some of the icing sitting at the top of her nose, the way you shifted to turn away from her, trying to escape from her.

her hand lands on the leg of the chair you sat in right next to her, dragging it across the tile floor, pulling you closer. she then uses it to lace her fingers between yours, bringing your hand up to her mouth, pressing her lips against your knuckles.

“i love you, (y/n).”

your heart pulsed wildly while she continued to press light kisses on your fingers, repeating the three words again and again against your skin as she watches you bite your lip. your eyes welled up rather quickly; the sound of her voice, her name in your mouth.

robin wanted to cry at the sight knowing how much she hurt you. and she hated herself for it. she wished she could reverse the time, do everything over, just so that you wouldn’t feel the pain you were feeling. now, all she could do was hold you, if you let her. tell you how much you mean to her. how sorry she was.

“i-i took the week off. steve said he’ll cover for me. and…i know i’m… i’ve been a pretty shit girlfriend lately. i know how much you were looking forward to our date. how hard you worked for it. all for me to just forget about it like the stupid idiot i am. it really sucks, and i am so, so sorry, (y/n).” robin’s voice trembles as she rubs her thumb against the skin your hand. “you didn’t deserve that. not from me, or anyone. especially not from me. i was just—“

robin stopped herself, not wanting to keep building up lame excuses to help her dig a deeper hole for herself.

“i know you were stressed, rob,” you tell her, staring down at your intertwined hands. “you were just tired and—“

“no. it doesn’t matter because what i did was not okay. i shouldn’t have done that in the first place. seriously, (y/n), what kind of person am i to forget that sort of thing? i’m honestly an idiot. a complete, total idiot,” robin scoffs at herself, free hand running through her hair in exasperation.

your can’t help but give her a weak smile, holding her hand tighter. it had been a while since you held hands, one of your favorite things as it is one of hers. her hands are a little rough, calluses at the palm of her hand, most likely from all that biking she does, and light cuts along her fingertips, probably from when she picked out the flowers.

“you are an idiot,” you mumble.

robin smiles, scooting her chair even closer, hands holding yours even tighter. she brings her face close, and for a moment, you thought she was going to kiss you. instead, she rests her forehead against your shoulder, nuzzling lightly into your neck.

you can feel her breath against your skin and you were almost positive she could feel how fast your pulse was beating at the moment.

“i can… i can kiss you now, right?” robin sighs when you don’t answer, pressing the crook of her nose against your neck, desperate to feel your lips after basically a week away from you. “please?”

you stare up at the ceiling and let out a breath. you missed the way robin felt against you, the way her skin felt against yours, and her lips, and her scent, and her hands, and everything else. you missed robin. you just missed robin.

you nod lightly, hoping she could feel it, but your thoughts clear as soon as she presses a gentle kiss to your collarbone, your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately. it trails up alongside your neck, then underneath your jaw, her lips ending up towards the skin behind your ear. all of her kisses leaving you weak, moaning as quietly as you could. robin absolutely melts when you lean your head slightly, giving her more room to do her work, as she places her free hand underneath your sweater, rubbing at the skin of your waist.

“robbie,” you moan as robin hums into your skin as a reply.

“hmm…”

after long moments of sloppy but delicate kisses, her lips finally lands against your mouth, soft and plump. truthfully, robin’s heart hammers in her chest, butterflies invading the depths of her stomach. when she kisses you… it feels amazing. they’re delicate and caring, always leaving you wanting more.

robin carefully pulls you closer until you’re seated directly in her lap, hands palming at your thighs as yours dig into her shoulders, squeezing tightly. she takes her time, teasing you with her tongue, pulling away briefly to speak against your lips

“i love you,” she pecks your lips, pulling away to say it again. “i love you.”

and she does it again. and again. and again. and again. and again. until you say it back.

“i love you, robin.”

and she wants to cry. so she does. her hands leave your thighs and wraps her arms around your waist, hugging you as tight as she could, shoving her face against your chest, forehead resting on your shoulder. she whimpers when she feels your hands run through her hair, soothing her, comforting her with your soft hands.

you feel robin’s kisses along your neck once again, making you tug her hair lightly, silently warning her to not leave any marks. but she never listens anyway. she kisses your lips again and again as you smile against her, giving her the chance to open her mouth while your copy her movements, until your tongues touch, leaving you moaning at the contact. your tongues slide slowly while you kiss, wet and sloppy. she hums at your reaction, your moans, god, she could do this all day. it’s fucking amazing how good this all feels, how right it feels.

you place a last kiss to her lips, making her pout slightly when you pull away from her, still seated on her lap.

“i’m still mad at you,” you tell her, all the while running your fingertips against her scalp, playing with her hair in a way that made her stomach flutter.

“i know, baby. i’ll make it up to you. i’ll make it up to you, i promise.”

and evidently, she does.

#rv; robin <3 #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley imagine #stranger things x reader #robin buckley x f!reader #blurb #maya hawke #robin buckley smut #robin buckley fluff #angst with a happy ending #st x reader #robin stranger things #fanfic #stranger things smut

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mrsnancywheeler · 2 months

Note

Ok I’m back with the songs 🫡

I can’t remember if anyone else has mentioned this, but finnick/sweet girl are very much giving this is me trying by miss blondie herself

——————

I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting” “And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad. I have a lot of regrets about that”

This reminded me a lot about their recent argument at the end of chapter 6, where sweet girl called him a liar and accused him of purposely playing mind games with her :(

——————

“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”

THIS MIGHT JUST BE FINNICKS ENTIRE INNER MONOLOGUE AFTER THEY BROKE UP #IDK !! OR !! HIS THOUGHTS DURING READER’S GAMES! How he has to keep up appearances and his playboy persona to make sure his sweet girl gets sponsors, but he’s actually feeling so much grief and stress.

——————

Another song they remind me of is Wasteland, Baby! But specifically:

“I’m in love, I'm in love with you. And I love too, that love soon might end. Be known in its aching”

Just reminded me about how they’re meant to go through tragedy :((

——————

BONUS SONGS!

we can't be friends (wait for your love) by Ariana Grande’s SCREAMS young!reader going through the breakup with Finnick :((

——————

“We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again. Wait for your love”

Just her initial reaction to the breakup and how she still loves him :((

——————

“I don't like how you paint me, yet I'm still here hanging”

“Me and my truth, we sit in silence. Baby girl, it's just me and you. ‘Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite my tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die. You got me misunderstood, but at least I look this good” This reminds me of when Finnick was saying all those things he didn’t mean about his sweet girl, and although she’s hurt by it she still loves him (and deep down she knows he doesn’t mean it!)

——————

And Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray is so them coded like PLEASE mainly about how reader keeps rejecting any comfort because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it + how she was afraid to voice that she wants said comfort during her hijacking

——————

“Wellin' up in tears as I lay upon your belly. Telling you, ‘I’m fine I don't really need nobody,’ But you say through a sigh that I said that lie already”

Need I say more.

——————

“And even if I cry all over your body. You don't really mind. Say you like your shirt soggy.”

This could go for both Finnick and Reader! About how they both feel guilty for receiving comfort from the other person (Finnick bc he wants to give comfort too, and Reader bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it)

——————

I hope this isn’t too long hehe but these were my #thoughts. I’m a yapper at heart <3 lmk what you think!!

BUT SIDENOTE I SAW HADESTOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT W JORDAN FISHER AND !! His performance was fr giving me finnick vibes bc he was really giving that obsessed yearner vibe IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT LOL but it was so good!!

-🦅

buckle up folks because I love a lot to say 🫡❤️

this is me trying is so them, like very heavily

they're both really at their core such sunshiney people who've been so broken down and used by the world that they've really been dulled. and reader is always quick to bite back, especially when she's scared or frustrated or doesn't want to reveal her emotions, she doesn't have a complete grasp on reality yet, she's scared of being left behind, scared that finnick will die, scared of being alone and frustrated that he broke his promise to her so she lashes out.

110% to both of those, like he's so broken up, aching for her, in pain, blaming himself for everything, but he has to be what's expected of him. some drinks, laughing, flirting, smiling, when all he wants to do his curl up in bed crying as he holds into some remant of hers that he held onto all this time.

in the context of the most recent chapter "I just wanted you to know that this is me trying" is so very much both of them for different reasons

finnick says the things he does and does what he does because he wants to help her get better, to be delicate with her, keep her safe, keep her protected from the dangers of the time and her mental state. he's trying his hardest even if he doesn't always handle it in ways that bode well.

reader is trying to be herself again, she just wants to be treated normally regardless of how that affects her. once she's her she'll be less paranoid, more trusting, she's trying so hard to replicate that so she can get there and feels like he's not letting her. that her attempts are being shut down.

they are the tragic lovers, so in love, so obsessed, and constantly fated for hurt after hurt. all I'm saying is to watch moulin rouge and think of them because it's so finnick and his sweet girl in another life.

LITERALLY THOUGH if she could've she would've followed him around like a lost puppy dog, it would have fed into the narrative about her, but she's so desperately in love that she would have waited so patiently. in a way she did, but if he'd told her he was breaking up with her for other girls she was so young and so already achingly in love with him that she would have kept trailing around waiting for him to come baxk

(side note, finnick is really the love sick puppy, but reader reminds me of a stray cat who picks someone to love, always waits to be fed by them. given a little bit of attention and now will be attached for the long run. I thought googles description was really funny because it's just so her "With time and patience, a stray cat may trust you and want pets consistently. If you have grown close to a stray cat, it may feel upset or distressed if you suddenly leave it." so yeah she's a stray cat who finally got some love before being suddenly stranded again)

ANYWAYS yes, the way he talks about her and paints the portrait of their relationship is so hurtful. she totally cries about it consistently because to her he's perfect, and although she largely wants to believe what he said when they broke up and trust he still loves her, a part of her can't help but feel so stupid for letting herself be lead on by someone who's been said to be a playboy anyway. it makes her so insecure, so much more guarded, but she doesn't hate him, no she could never. she's in love with him. no matter what he says or does she's long placed her roots and won't tear them up.

that's literally the most them interaction to have never ever interacted, some of her tears have welled up, she's choking on pushed down sobs, and insisting that she's okay even though Finnick can read her like a book. he's softly scolding her for lying while she continues to try and insist until she's completely broken down into sobs.

reader could have the roughest day ever and still insist that she's fine, comfort finnick, love on him, hold him, and he spends the time hating that he's enjoying the loving when she's so obviously lying, masking everything. it's such a paradox. meanwhile she feels terrible for aching comfort because of things she does, she wants to suffer, but the lure of giving into finnick's arms is too much sometimes. especially knowing that he loves her so much and so well. she just has to let herself take what she needs even if she hates herself or it later.

ofc this isn't too long pookie, I love hearing y'all's thoughts no matter how long, yap to me endlessly pookie, I'm a yapper too. ❤️

YAY EXCITING I would love to see Jordan Fisher as Orpheus, he's so talented. I'd die, and yes it's just so Finnick 😭💕

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #the lakes #finnick odair #the river #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #🦅 anon

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blublublujk · 8 months

Text

young blood (3)

part 1 part 2 part 3

word count: 4k

genre: established/growing relationship

pairings: vampy koo x vampy reader, mentions of vampy tae

summary:

Jungkook, the youngest vampire in your clan, wakes up from his last and final resting cycle and that calls for one thing, and one thing only, it's time for his first feeding.

warnings: jungkook's first ever feeding as a vampire so its gonna get crazy and messy, buckle up!! violent content (a deer gets slayed), swearing, sexual content (noona kink, pain kink, slut shaming, tears, cock stepping (YAS), multiple orgasms, jungkook comes in his pants it's kinda pathetic, he also has a big dick, fingering, clothes gets torn off, strength kink, come as lube (so wet and messy), biting (fangs), blood kink (blood splatters and blood drinking), animalistic instinct?? (jungkook keeps sucking on readers blood even after he is told to stop but trust me she wants it, he's just a vampire baby that has zero to no control pls forgive him) unprotected rough sex, overstimulation) really sorry if something is missing, i really did try

a.n: man i wish i had a better excuse to why i've gone missing so instead i bring this... the real ones will enjoy it. thank me later hehe. stop writing about vampy jungkook CHALLENGE FAILED :D

i promise i'll be back with more i have been re-writing old work and plan posting new ones since i don't completely feel satisfied with my writing yet, just believe me this once okie...

see you soon.

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

“The boy has risen.”

Five days. It had been exactly five days since those sweet doe-eyes took their last blink. That was probably the hardest part. Missing the sparkle within his eyes. You could stare into that sea of stars for hours, if given the chance. Jungkook was the prettiest human you had ever laid eyes on, and you were more than confident he would be an even prettier newborn vampire.

Jungkook was facing the wall when you first walked into the room. His pale hands were slowly moving around, feeling everything around him, his neck stretching out. The younger was still on the bed you and Taehyung had set up just for his transformation. He had yet to turn around and face you.

“Jungkook-ah, baby.”

Jungkook nearly snaps his neck in half at the sound of your voice. The boy runs into your arms, his new super strength takes you by surprise as he lifts you easily into his arms, almost squishing you to death. “It worked!”

You couldn’t help, but giggle. “Of course it did, silly boy. Were you worried?”

“Yes.” He takes a deep breath, releasing his tight grip (but just by a little). “I just wanted to be like you and Hyung-ie so badly.”

“You are now, baby. Forever.” You drop a kiss into his hair, softly tugging the mess of curls, bringing him in close.

“Mm, forever.”

The younger’s bunny smile was still the same. Not that much his human features would change now that he’s a vampire, he was still as beautiful as ever.

“How you feeling, baby?”

Those words make Jungkook snap into realization. He palms his throat feeling a burning ache, he swallows harshly, the ache grows only more intense. Nearly burning his insides. He notices more things as well. Stuff he didn’t even know was humanly possible, which it’s not, but for a vampire anything is possible. His scent is strong, he swears he can taste the tree bark outside. He definitely feels stronger, he no longer feels soft or weak. As he feels around his newborn body, he feels tougher. Yet the ache in his throat defeats all curiosity, it burns and he’s— well, he’s confused. What’s happening to him?

“You’re hungry.” You state like it’s a fact, because it is, even if you can’t necessarily read his mind.

When a Newborn wakes up from its last and final rest, it realizes its new senses first, everything they knew as a human becomes ten times more interesting as a vampire. They no longer require food, they still feed, but now they depend on one singular fluid, blood, which to a human would be like air or water. They notice their new strengths and with that their very few weaknesses. Soon after though, that’s when the most excruciating part begins.

The baby vampire will realize a scorching sensation that grows quickly in the back of their throat. It’s hunger, of course, but a Newborn won’t recognize that phenomenon, or feeling. It’s like learning to walk all over again. It is not a “natural feeling”, and most dismiss the pain, treat it as merely as insignificant as that of a sore throat. But dismissing the pain only triggers the pain to increase. Before they know it, they will be pulled out for their first feeding, usually led by the eldest vampires. It will be messy, ugly, and most of all a whole new experience. One that will lead to more frequent occurrences.

“Y-Yeah… I think I am.” Jungkook swallows, but it does nothing to ease the burning pain.

You smile, kissing his nose gently. “Don’t worry Jungkookie, Noona will take you on your first feeding.”

“Okay. W-What about Hyung?”

“Taehyung will join us in the next one. He’s taking care of other stuff for now. Don't worry about him. We gotta worry about your thirst first.”

The boy agrees with a light nod. You stick your hand out and Jungkook takes hold of it, following you out of the house and into the darkest parts of the forest. He followed you like a lost puppy, caressing his throat, but even that did nothing. His throat was ripping him apart from the inside.

The journey isn’t far because you made sure that Jungkook had all he needed for his first feeding relatively close. Jungkook takes a good look around, and although he is not alone by any means, he sees nothing. Only the huge trees that surrounded you both. It's murky and slightly cold. What now?

“I-I don’t get it.” Jungkooks gulps. “How am I supposed to feed?”

More like what is he supposed to be feeding on?

The Newborn wraps his arms around himself. He looks lost because he just is. He doesn’t know where to begin, unlike you and Taehyung, you have been feeding all your life and for him, this is much different than picking up food from his local fast food chain.

You only smile. “You don’t smell that yet, hmm?”

Jungkook inhales through his nose as much as his lungs allow him. At first nothing comes, but then the slightest scent catches his attention, kissing the tip of his nose. It is a very faint taste of a metallic sweetness on his tongue, he assumes immediately that this is what you are talking about as yards away he spots a large deer. Then the impossible occurs, Jungkook swears he could taste the blood rushing through the deer’s body. This is impossible.

He can hear the beat of its healthy heart pumping its sweet blood, it beats against his ear deliciously. His mouth nearly drools at the sight. He tilts his head slightly, ready to pounce and shred it to pieces.

“Ahh… now you smell it.”

“N-Noona.” You hear the boy say, he grabs his own throat roughly, making a strangled noise as if he’s in great pain, had his nails been sharper (you made sure to file them while he slept for the last time), he would have torn his own esophagus out by now. He must eat now. “I— I- I”

Your hands are on his face quickly. The vampire gets extremely pale, faint. “What baby? I’m here. Don’t you wanna feed? Come on baby, I’ll show you.”

Jungkook shakes his head. His pink lips start fading white. He’s extremely starved, it’s normal as a Newborn. Everyone is usually scared of their first feeding. Typically, they try to avoid their new carnal feelings, it’s almost animalistic, uncontrollable. It’s a crazy sensation to crave something as taboo as drinking blood. Most of them starve themselves avoiding all sorts of craving, but it’s impossible to ignore. A vampire can only go so long without blood before turning wild leaing them feral, that then is when they feed on anything in sight with no remorse, humans and vampires included.

“What’s wrong, Jungkook-ah? Talk to me, baby.” The Newborn barely holds himself together, his eyes start dropping, unable to stand on his feet any longer, he drops his ass into the ground instead, physically struggling to keep his eyes open.

“S-Shit Jungkook-ah. You’re starving. Don’t worry, Noona will bring the deer to you. Noona will feed you soon, my thirsty baby vampire. I got you.” Though the deer started moving along, it can’t be that far away, you can still smell its blood pumping yards away, almost feeling it drain its precious blood into your mouth. As you turn to end his misery, a strong grip wraps around your wrist.

“D-Don’t. I-I don’t wanna be a-alone.” The baby vampire shivers, cold sweat dripping from his forehead. “N-Noona, I– I think I’m dying.”

You shake your head wiping him down with your jacket, not caring about getting it dirty. “No baby. You’re just hungry. I’m here. I’ll only leave for a second. I promise. I’ll be back.”

Jungkook whines, dragging you tightly against him. “No.”

“Fuck okay. I won’t leave you Jungkook-ah, but you have to feed right now.” You bring a hand behind his neck burying his face against your throat and you hear a muffled cry buried deep into your neck. “Bite down baby. Don’t hold back, but d-don’t take everything. I-I’ll tell you when to stop.”

His breath is hot, you feel his fangs barely graze your neck, not quite enough to cut through the flesh before he pulls off, with a strangled sob. “F-Fangs, they hurt. Really bad.”

“They’re just sensitive, my love. They won’t break off, I know it feels like that, but they won’t. You can do it baby, just bite down.”

Jungkook furiously shakes his head. This won’t do. They fucking hurt. His tongue goes to massage his gums, but he hisses as soon as it comes in contact. It’s far too sensitive. “N-No. I won't be able to bite down, N-Noona. It hurts, ‘m so hungry. Please Noona.”

The younger is not even sure what he’s begging for, but he knows he’s in the best hands. He’s gonna be okay even if right now he feels his throat has been lit on fire. He knows you would never let him die straving so he closes his eyes for a second allowing himself to rest against the tree.

“S-Shit Jungkook. Okay. Sit up baby, Noona will feed you now.” Your fangs come out quickly as they pierce through your wrist, you bite down as hard as you can so the Newborn’s only job will be to place his fangs through. The blood instantly leaks down your wrist before you rush it over his mouth. “Here baby, bite.”

Jungkook attaches himself immediately to your leaking wrist, his fangs fit perfectly within the gaping holes. He moans with the first initial taste, he sucks with a lot of force, you know you should tell him to slow down, but you don’t even have the heart. The Newborn stuffs his fangs (they are a bit longer than yours) even deeper into the soft flesh, the sensitivity in his fangs finally dying down a bit.

You groan at the feeling and he continues to suck the life out of you. He was gonna definitely leave a mark, maybe even permanently. Taehyung wasn’t gonna be too happy about that, but it was far too late to tell him to stop anyways. Jungkook fed from you as if you were the tastiest meal he has ever had. The sweet tangy taste was fucking addictive Jungkook never wanted it to end, he could definitely see himself getting used to this. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy when you finally tell him to stop. He doesn’t even know if that’s gonna be possible. This is what he was missing out on? The rush… it’s indescribable, but fucking incredible. He has never felt so alive.

“O-Okay suh–slow down, baby.” It’s as if you told him to do the opposite. Jungkook continues to lick and bite into anything he can get his mouth on, his tongue coming out to collect the drops of blood that escape from your wrist and leak down your arm.

You should really, really stop him now, but it feels soooo good, you were always a slut for pain.

“Noona t-tastes so good, so sweet.” A moan rips from your throat as he peels himself off, this time he bites into your neck, the blood instanly hits his tongue and he’s addicted, evermore. He’ll never stop now. He bites down into the vein and the blood rushes into his mouth. Nothing compares to blood directly from the source, he has learned this lesson very early on.

“J–Jungkook...” You are really struggling yourself now, your eyes struggle to stay open, he’s starving you. “Okay enough. Stop.”

The Newborn shakes his head, whining and whimpering into your throat.

“Stop.” It comes out as a whisper and he denies your calling again. Forcing himself onto you, he bites harshly not giving a fuck about how you tremple and desperately whine below him. He’s killing you and he doesn’t even realize it. Stupid baby vampire. “I said, stop!”

Jungkook is nearly sobbing full on tears when you force him off, tugging his hair back with great force. “N-No, puh– please Noona, ‘m sorry. I’m still so hungry. Please. Feed me!”

He shouts at you like you hadn’t been the one helping him from starving to death. “Control yourself, Jungkook-ah. You almost just fucking killed me!”

The boy's eyes soften and he cries harder. “‘M so so sorry, Noona. I don’t want you to die because of me. I’ll be better. S-Sorry.”

The younger one starts to leak pretty tears, decorating his face quite nicely. You sigh lighly, allowing your emotions to simmer. “Stay here. I’ll bring us the meal.”

Jungkook doesn’t hold you back this time, not like he was given the choice anyways, this was an order. He manages to keep his position on the cold gravel. It doesn’t take you long to find the deer, you wrap an arm around the deer and put it down with a quick blow to its chest. This was your least favorite part when you first turned, watching the sweet creature fall to its knees and eventually its death, but it got easier with time. Now, you take them down without hesitation or care, it’s in your nature after all.

You settle the deer at Jungkook’s feet when you return. His eyes widen when he realizes what’s expected of him next. “N-Now what?”

“We eat, my sweet baby vampire.” In the moment, he almost thinks you look cute, but he watches you dig your sharp nails into its wooly hair and tear it nearly in half. The blood rushes out like water and splatters everywhere, some landing on your face and Jungkook’s cheek. Jungkook would be lying if he said this wasn’t the hottest thing he has ever seen, even with blood tainting your perfect face, you were fucking beautiful. Without hesitation you lean in and drink the blood while it’s still fresh and sweet.

Jungkook hesitates for a bit before he leans in on his own side and slurps up. The flood of red liquid cools his burn almost instantly. At first, Jungkook didn’t understand it. Why slash a deer in half when you can just drink from the source directly? It wasn’t convenient, not at all. It's messy and more blood gushes onto the floor than anywhere else, but he gets it now. He understands. The sight of blood splattering across your face, the way your eyes dilated, mouth drooling… he’ll never forget it. He’s so fucking hard. He moans into the deer's skin, sucking it dry.

For the first time ever, Jungkook thinks you look like a monster. After all that really is what vampires are, just monsters trying to survive in a world built for humans. Though you prefer the term creature, monster is a bit too extreme for your liking, you can’t help your kind for being.

Either way, in Jungkook’s eyes, you were the sexiest monster he had ever laid eyes on (not that he came across much), but he would genuinely let you do anything.

You both keep feeding and it's the hottest thing ever. In fact, you’re so focused on feeding that you nearly miss a grunt rip through Jungkook’s throat. But that isn’t what distracts you, no… it’s Jungkook’s hard cock against your thigh.

The younger starts rutting against your thigh like a dirty fucking animal, a bitch in heat if you will.

Eventually, the deer runs dry.

Your mouth comes off and you lick the leftover blood dripping from your lips. Jungkook, well, he’s still rubbing himself on you.

“Jungkook.” Usually, the boy comes to a halt embarrassed about the situation but no, this time, he’s desperate. So fucking needy and horny. “Hey.”

Jungkook hums, finally popping off the deer, he looks down at his little (big) problem. Shamelessly he keeps grinding hands besides you to support himself, but not for long. You shove him off you.

“I— Noona.”

“You’re so fucking dirty. So fucking nasty. But you know that right baby? Hmm? Good for nothing besides leaking come.” Your words go straight to his dick, only making him harder, if he didn’t know any better he would have sworn he has already come from how much he’s leaked into his boxers.

He softly whines, feeling his stomach stir in heat. “Yes… yes Noona, I am. So so dirty and nasty. Please Noona, I wanna come so bad. ‘M so horny.”

“Yeah? You wanna come.” The pretty vampire nods, looking dainty and fragile, even if it is far from the truth. “Okay then, you’ll come on my terms.”

You stood up, all tall and mighty, without warning, you stepped on his crotch enough to feel his length beneath your foot. Jungkook yelps, feeling the pressure build on his hard cock. “Like this. You’ll come like this. Move, my baby vampire. Take what you need.”

And that is exactly what he does. Desperately, Jungkook grinds against your heel. He didn’t imagine himself ever being into cock stepping, but he isn’t even surprised or one to complain. You bring the worst out of him. He grunts and moans without holding back, feeling more heat coil in his stomach, he’s so fucking close. Of course you know this, so you step on him harder and the boy comes undone beneath you with a strangled cry.

“Oh! Oh my fucking god!” Jungkook comes so much, he’s sure his briefs are a fucking mess, he’ll most likely throw it away anyways. “So good Noona, s-so good.”

“Yeah?” A smile grows on your face, watching blush start painting his pale cheeks. He somehow manages to look small and embarrassed as if he didn’t just fuck himself agaisnt your foot. God, he could be so adorable.

“Yes. Always ‘s good.” Jungkook pauses, he looks shy before asking. “What about you Noona? I wanna please you too.”

“Yeah? You think you can handle me right now?”

The younger exhales a scoff. “You know I can.”

“Yes… yes you can, my pretty slutty baby.” The younger’s lashes flutter as if it’s a compliment to his ears (it is), he feels you land on his lap, hands take place on the swole end of your ass, like they belong there (you both know they do). “You gonna fuck me now? Huh baby?”

“Yes, Noona. I’ll fuck you so good. Just how you like it.” He’s breathless, yet that doesn’t stop him from reaching behind your neck and locking lips with you. His tongue comes out shyly, before forcing your mouth open with a bite. He sucks and licks into your mouth, still savoring the faint taste of blood on your tongue. With syched moans, he forces his lips off yours kissing down your jaw and neck, nipping at the tender flesh, God, he could never get enough of you.

“Kook…” Your voice is light. “Just fuck me already baby.”

Maybe you should have let him continue at his own pace because the second he hears your sweet demand, he literally tears your bottoms in half, just enough to slip a hand below. His fingers tease your soft puffy folds, easing one finger inside them. The younger’s middle finger toys your clit, he feels a bit rough to the touch, yet the stimulation causes a whine to slip from your lips. He focuses on the gasp forcing your mouth to fall wide, the blood splattered on your face is now dry, but it paints your face beautifully. Anyone else would run in fear, but Jungkook feels he has always belonged here, he’s really home.

The younger one sticks his tongue out and attempts to lick the dried blood off your face. He fails, but the attempt is very much there, ignoring the slobber on your face.

Finally, two fingers gather your juices before carefully sliding them into your tight hole, which selfishly takes them both. Your arms wrap around Jungkook, pressing moans into his neck as he fingers your pussy with skill. He doesn’t go fast, just enough to open you up before he takes you on his cock.

“Oh– right there, Jungkookkk.” The Newborn pushes his fingers deeper, finding your g-spot with ease, you coat his fingers nicely. He can taste your slick on his tongue, it's driving him insane. Jungkook contemplates adding another finger, but he does it anyway and you clench around his fingers, breath hitching against his ear. “Fuh–Fuckkk…”

Slolwy, you start to ride his fingers, feeling them stretch your walls. “K-Kiss me.”

He leans in without hesitation and kisses you sloppily, on demand. When things start to escalate, tongue deep in your mouth, saliva coating your lips, he pulls out of you gently and pushes you towards the floor with a cut–off yelp, ass up face down. He brings his hips to yours, letting you feel just how hard you made him. He feels unnecessarily big and heavy behind you, this alone makes you shiver in anticipation for what's to come. He waits no longer. Jungkook thinks if he doesn’t stuff your pussy full of dick right now, he might just pass away at this very moment.

Jungkook unzips his pants, dragging them down, along with his messy boxers. He blows a harsh breath out, watching your folds glisten in the natural light. He wishes things were different, that he could eat you out, that is if he didn’t feel his dick was about to explode in his hand. “R-Ready baby?”

“Always. Don’t hold back, baby, fuck me how I like it.” The younger wastes no time further, he gathers just enough of his own come off his boxers and uses it as lube (with all the intention to just fuck it back into you). He coats his length before he’s burying himself inside you. Even after three fingers, Jungkook manages to stretch your walls to the brim, fucking you deep and consice. You feel as tight as ever. “Oh my, fucking god...”

He slows down, allowing you to adjust, your eyes close feeling him thrust with care. The boy carrases your arching back, feeling your heat tighten against him. “So fucking good for me. I love your pussy so much, Noona. You always take me so well.”

His praises bring heat to your stomach, squirming below him. “Y-Yeah, baby? Fuck me like you mean it then.”

“Don’t worry, Noona. I’ll fuck you until you forget who truly owns you.” His words breakthrough like glass before he’s pushing you further into the ground, shoving his dick as deep as he can go, fucking you like the slut you were.

I’ll fuck you until you forget who truly owns you.

Taehyung… you belong to Taehyung but here you were, getting fucked like some whore and by the youngest vampire in your clan. Pornagraphic moans escape your mouth, as you attempt to hold onto anything below you but nothing works, Jungkook is fucking into you and holding on like you’ll escape.

The grip on your hips is bound to leave bruises, but that increasingly excites him. The hot pit in your gut starts to twist, you’ll come in a second if he keeps this pace. Nevertheless, Jungkook moans shamelessly, keeping his brutal pace, watching you make a mess of his dick every time he pulls back.

“J-Jungkook… I’m gonna fucking come, slow down.” You quietly demand, but this does nothing for you, he increases his speed, grunting as he feels you pulse around his cock. It’s messy and fast, just the way you like it. Felt so perfect wrapped around him.

“Y-You asked for this, Noona, now take it.” The younger fucks into you at an alarming rate, his hands grope your ass cheeks apart feeling him dive further. Your eyes roll back, skin clapping on skin with no desire to end.

“Fuh–Fuck, Jungkook. Baby, I– I’m gonna come.” Goosebumps rise on your skin, feeling a cold breeze wrap around you. He watches as his cock disappears inside your sex, he’s so fucking close himself.

“Come on my dick Noona, make a mess out of it, hmm just how you like it.” The Newborn bites his lip attempting and failing to hold his moans, so instead he embraces them and nearly growls feeling you become tighter every thrust.

“C-Coming.” Is the only word that manages to make it out before you tremble under his sensitive touch. The knot inside your stomach breaks, releasing your juices all over his thick length. The sensation of you coming on his cock never gets old, he groans holding back his own release.

“F-Fuck, just like that Noona, so good for me. Always so good. I’m gonna come too.” Jungkook whines, doing everything in his power to stop from milking you full (he will most likely do it anyways).

“Inside baby, i-inside.” He feels you melt under him before he’s pushing his warm seed inside you, nearly collapsing on top of you, still fucking his release deep into you.

Jungkook manages to slip out carefully, placing you on top of his chest, his harsh pants manage to calm you regardless of him fucking your thoughts away. The younger calms his breathing before speaking above a whisper. “Thank you, Noona. Thank you.”

“Anytime my baby vampire, anytime.”

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