#overall ? it looks decent. i did my best to use the techniques i knew. i tried really hard to show values.

[shdwtouch]

I finished my final project ! ; w ; I'm actually really proud of it, even if it doesn't look great. not bad considering, I think. I hope I get a good grade; even if I fail tho I'll still pass the class. I just worked really hard on this and will be upset if my professor doesn't like it orz she has been so nice and supportive so I want her approval oakajsisis

#《 ° puffin.exe 》 im a puffin ! i dont do much #° mobile post ! #° personal ! #not your professor being so nice and supportive that you actually put extra effort into your work #i always put effort into my work but its always !! when a professor makes you WANT to do good you know ? #anyway. this took almost 3 hours. im looking at it and seeing all the mistakes but #overall ? it looks decent. i did my best to use the techniques i knew. i tried really hard to show values.

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate

Warnings: Use of cursed techniques/action. Occasional improper/rough language. Fighting and descriptions of blood

Chapter number: 1

Next chapter: The Rebirth

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst and fluff. Angst with a happy ending. (Yuh I don't do sad endings yalls). Noritoshi x fem!reader

Type: multi chaptered fic. Yes this is gonna be long.

Notes: I've been wanting to write a Noritoshi fated soulmates fic in forever! The story is still in progress and I will update it here as I go. Characters are not mine; all rights reserved to Gege Akutami sensei for the creation of Jujutsu Kaisen. Please don't repost my story or work anywhere, just keep it here in Tumblr. Thanks - all rights reserved to limitlessgojo.

CHAPTER 1: The First Meeting

Going to Kyoto Jujutsu High School for high school had always been inevitable. You knew that you were destined to become a Jujutsu Sorcerer, due to the power you've been born with. 

Psychokinesis. A very rare yet powerful strength that allows you to control almost everything around you. And yet the difficulty with manipulating such fine air particles or volatile flames was surprisingly not a huge obstacle. You were born with good instincts and you've always used your cursed technique well.

Just as Gojo Satoru from the Gojo clan mentioned the overall difficulty of controlling his limitless technique, you had to fine tune and play to your strengths as you grew. 

And here you are now, standing in front of the imposing yet beautiful campus of Kyoto Jujutsu High School. You gulped. "Now now," the pretty lady who introduced herself as Utahime sensei earlier spoke, "I understand why you'd be so nervous moving into the dorms. But don't worry, most of the older students are out on missions at the moment. Though you will probably meet your classmates within the next few days, Tsuchimikado chan." 

"Thank you so much Utahime sensei. Yes I'll try to relax a bit, but I just feel so nervous meeting new people. Oh and you can call me y/n. I'm aware my surname is a bit long." You replied. 'And not to mention, everyone here must be a powerful warrior. I wonder if anyone is crazy or really intimidating…' you wondered to yourself. 

She pats you on the back and guides you to move forward and into the campus, "Ah then y/n chan should be fine. If someone bullies or hurts you just come straight to me okay? We don't tolerate that kind of behaviour here. … at least I don't." She added as an after thought.

She was very gentle. It made you feel more at ease. And it also helps that there are so much plants on the campus, much more than you expected. 

She led you to your dorm room. It had a queen sized bed as per your request, a small kitchen, dining table, TV, single bathroom with a shower and a bath tub, and the usual furniture. It was spacious enough that 2 people could probably live together in the room. 

After thanking her, she left you to settle down. You made yourself at home.

"Should I go out and explore the campus now? … we didn't bump into anybody yet. And Sensei did mention earlier that I am the first First-year student to have arrived on campus.. hmmm. Yeah best to be safe and do it now. I guess I can rest tomorrow anyways."

Classes don't start for a few more days, so you had time to rest and get familiar with the campus. You were just wearing a simple black and white tracksuit set, and looked decent enough in case you were to bump into anyone. 

So you left your room and strolled the campus. Armed of course, you never know what might happen. Something feels different and you knew it. Like a calm before the storm. 'But for what? Nothing's gonna happen. I'm within the protective barrier and yet all my hairs are raised and it feels like electricity is running through my veins.' 

You strolled along, looking at the buildings from afar. Recognising some from the map of the campus you had browsed the night before. You spotted the library and the weaponry. You'd have to ask permission to go into the latter. For a moment you forgot your nerves and were brimming with excitement. 

'At least I'll be able to get stronger while I'm here'. You happily thought. As you had always aimed to get stronger to support and protect your family. 

But the nerves came right back at you after a short bit. You felt your twin short blades tucked underneath your long sleeves and held onto the hilts. 'I must be out of my mind… nothing is going to happen.' You kept repeating the phrase in your mind.

You walked over to the huge track and field. You were so distracted by the view (you were trying to measure the distance by eye, give yourself some slack) that you failed to see and sense a figure coming up to you. Until their wave of cursed energy washed over you and you quickly spun around, eyes widening. 

Pretty. That was the first word you thought of upon seeing the man. Intense was the next thing you thought. Black hair, with bangs falling above his shoulders, secured to the sides with two white bindings. He was taller than you. A uniform with wide loose sleeves like a butterfly's wings billowed around him. You quickly bowed in greeting.

"Hello! I'm an incoming first year, my name is Tsuchimikado Y/N, and I am of the Tsuchimikado clan."

"2nd year, Kamo Noritoshi, eldest son of the Kamo clan. It's nice to meet you." He replied. And immediately shivers ran down your spine upon hearing his voice. '! And he is a senior too!' you thought.

"You're from the Abe Clan right?"

"Uhh yes I'm of the Abe clan. The Tsuchimikado are a descendant branch of that family. Descendants of Abe no Seimei." you said. "I've also heard of the Kamo clan, one of the great 3 Jujutsu clans.…."

You trailed off as you looked back up, straightening to meet his eyes. And upon making eye contact with him, you had a vision you've never seen before.

Flames were all around you and the strong smell of blood doused the air. You were fighting against curses back to back with a man. 

You couldn't control your actions. It was as if you were watching the events unfold through a movie screen. But you recognised your technique.

"Extension Cursed Technique: Niflheim!" You chanted and spread out your hands, instantly freezing a large amount of curses around you. "Convergence! Piercing Blood!" The man behind you yelled out, shooting down the frozen curses. 

Working in perfect harmony with one another to bring down the curses, even though it was the both of you against well over a dozen, it was an easy win. After the battle and confirming that all curses have been dealt with, he turned to look at you with the biggest grin. 

The man had long black hair. Gentle slanted eyes, high cheekbones with pale skin. You didn't recognise him from anywhere, but somehow the body you were in knew his smell and figure. He pulled you into a deep kiss, murmuring "My love, you have done so well." against your lips. "Would my lover like to accept her reward?"

"If you could please do so." You breathily replied to him. You raised your hands to entangle them in his hair. His high ponytail had been loosened from the fight. You ran your hands up and down his chest and back, feeling the muscles flexing underneath your fingers. Pressing your body against to his and feeling the warmth run across your midsection-

Suddenly the vision ends and you're back in the present, cheeks on fire and staring back at Kamo. It was then you properly saw the color of his warm brown eyes and noted his flushed face.

"...." 

"..." 

Neither of you spoke out loud. And you started wondering if he saw the same thing you did. But that was… what was it? The more you tried to reach back to the vision, the harder it was to remember. 

"… I'm sorry but did you see something just now?" You had to ask him just to confirm you weren't hallucinating.

"I saw myself fighting with a woman. And I was using my family's inherited cursed technique." he said.

"I saw something similar, but I was with a man. I was using my cursed technique! But it seemed like a different period?? It wasn't…. We weren't in modern day clothes… and the formality of the language was…" You stumbled over your words, trying to remember the vision but the images remained hazy. 

"So… maybe we saw memories of other people. A vision of the future?? Although unlikely... Or perhaps….?" He quieted down as he considered possibilities. Stepping forward to close the distance between you. He stared at you from head to toe as if analysing your being. This made you self conscious. A handsome man, checking you out…

"I'm not so sure. Is this the first time it happened to you?" You asked him. "I've never had this before."

Kamo replied with, "Same here. Let's keep this to ourselves first and research about it. Such a thing isn't impossible in the world we live in." 

"I can think of a few other cases, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions." You agreed with him. 

"Let's head back the sun is beginning to set." He remarked. With a start, you realized that the sky was darkening quickly. "No way, we still had about an hour until sunset earlier!" You gaped up at the sky. It was already turning into a deep orange. Your shared vision with Kamo lasted longer than both of you had expected.

"Come along. I can take you around the main areas. You're new aren't you?" Kamo beckoned you to follow him. "Ah yes, thank you so much! I hope it's not a bother. And how should I address you? Kamo San? Kamo Senpai?" You hurried after him. 

He stopped and stared at you. Then a beat passed. "Noritoshi senpai is okay. I don't mind." 

Your face that was cooling down suddenly flushed red again. You quickly turned to the side, "Are you okay with that? We've only just met…" 

"And yet it feels like we have known each other already." He finished for you. "It's fine with me unless it makes you uncomfortable. Call me what you wish."

"Then Noritoshi senpai, I'll be in your care. You can call me anything you want, Y/n is fine." You turned to peek at him. His ears were turning pink, how cute. 

You reached the main building and he brought you around the main areas. The dining area was spacious, and the weaponry was particularly impressive. "That's about it. There are more, but it's getting late and I'll be having dinner soon." Noritoshi said. 

"Ah yes, I'd hate to bother you. Thanks so much for bringing me around senpai! Then I'll excuse myself." You smiled and were about to walk off until he reached out. But stopped short of holding onto your arm.

He looked like he wanted to say something. So you waited expectantly. 

"If you want me to bring you around the other places in campus, I can show you around tomorrow." Noritoshi said hesitantly. You smiled and said you wouldn't mind. 

"Thank you for today senpai. Good night!" You waved at him. He lifted a hand in return, lips slowly quirking into a gentle smile for the first time that day. Then he turned and left you to your thoughts as you returned to your dorm.

End Notes: In my Alternate Universe, red strings of Fate are very real and very rare. Most people don't chase after their soulmates but a lot of people of course dream about it. The strings of Fate in this particular story bind people and let them share feelings, thoughts, even some sensations to an extent. And from the parents who are both soulmates, stronger children with powerful jujutsu Techniques are born. (Taking a note from my hero academia and how quirks meld and evolve after generations!)

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

#kamo noritoshi #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #noritoshi fluff #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi x you #jjk x you #jjk fluff #noritoshi x y/n #jjk kamo #soulmates au #blood bound #red string of fate

[lunarianillusion]

A change in fate

authors note: Sorry this chapter took a while, writers block is a pain and school takes a lot of time. Still I hope you enjoy this chapter and this story is now also on archive of our own under the same name. Now on with the story.

a maribat fanfic

Chapter 07

Marinette had been greatly relieved when Mist had returned so quickly and seemingly having succeeded in their mission. The miracle box safely tucked in their tail, a ball of memories between the leopard’s jaws and Wayzz sitting upon their silvery head. A small smile graced her lips at the sight.

But the small moment of joy had been shattered when a. unknown presence made themselves known. How had she not noticed them, she was the true holder of the miraculous of emotions, she could feel everyone’s emotions within a six-mile radius clearly. Even if she could not on a person’s scent, she should have been able to sense his emotions long before they made themselves known. So, how had she not been able to sense them following her guardian. 

In a quick and flowing motion Royal shifted into her battle stance. Her fan at the ready in one hand miracle box in the other, Mist had her claws out and growled from deep in their throat and Wayzz nuzzled into the female’s neck hiding away from the possible danger. All their eyes focussed on the figure that now slipped out of the shadows.

To a certain degree the wielder of the peafowl was relieved that the intruder was neither Chat Noir nor her replacement. That however did not rule out the possibility that this was another akuma, albeit a better dressed one. The male wore upon a quick glance a near skin-tight suit made out of a reinforced material she could not quite place. His main colors consisted of red and black with a golden yellow coloring for his utility belts, that sat on his waist and crossed over his chest. Overall a decent ensemble, definitely better than what some akumas wore. The only things that really did not sit well with her was the length of the cape and that bloody cowl!

The male raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and moved his head to bear his throat. “I am not here to fight you, Blue Royal,” the stranger stated calmly. “Or should I refer to you by your old identity, Ladybug.”

The blue clad hero went absolutely rigid at this comment as did her companions. How? How did he find out?

Seeming able to read her body language he went on to give her a simple explanation on how he got to this revelation. He told her about how he had been there when the last akuma attacked and had made the connection due to her mannerisms around the so-called heroes and her overall combat experience. For not even someone trained in any form of martial arts, no matter how long they may have trained, would be able to pull of what she did in that little of time without real life experience. And from her reaction he could tell that his theory was correct. Great so she ratted herself out, well done Marinette.

“Who are you?” she more demanded then asked.

“I go by Red Robin and I was formerly known as Robin and protégé of the Batman of Gotham. I have come to Paris to offer you my help in taking Hawkmoth down,” Red Robin told her, while looking straight at the female before him. Though his eyes were covert by the cowl’s white lenses, Mari swore their eyes were locked.

“And how am I to be certain that you are not one of His akumas or accomplices?” The blue clad girl asked skeptically with a cold tone her eyes narrowed into a glare. The tension in the air could almost be touchable as the two continued their stare of.

Red Robin nodded at her reasoning, seeming to understand her suspicions and following cautios manner. “Understandable concerns. Though I doubt I shall be able to put your worries to rest, with just my words. But quite a few people have made my existence public to the world. I hope that when you have seen that you can be assured that I am here to help,” He spoke calmly as he lowered his hands.

“Not very secretive of you to become known to the public, protégé of the Bat,” Royal could not help to comment. It gained a small chuckle from the male before her. “Well the existence of the League is not really a secret either, hence why I were the cowl,” He bantered back. Marinette could not help her lip twitching upward even as she kept her look skeptical. For her nerves were not put to rest.

Since she could not sense his emotions, he must have a strong control over them, she focused her connection to miraculous to look into his soul. It was in correlation with a trick that Duusu had been telling her about during training. How when transformed a true soul can look through the eyes of their kwami and gain the ability to see someone’s soul. It was however a very exhausting technique and she would most likely have a massive headache in the morning, but it was a small price to pay to see if he was a threat.

The only thing giving away her use of this skill was the thin glowing ring of silver surrounding her pupil.

His souls held several shades of blue implying to someone who was loyal and strong of mind. But the colors were dull and several cracks could be seen in the core of his soul and were festering in a malicious black veins. While black could been seen as a color of mystery, which would fit with his secret ID, the way the veins seemed to be invading re-laid to him being hurt greatly. From Blue Marinette could tell though was that the vigilantly infront of her was being sincere to her at the moment. Though it took a second as she got distracted by the sight of his soul.

Still best to play save and do a background check on this ‘protégé of the Batman’ when she got back to her room. “If I were to believe you and you truly are here to help end the reign pf Hawkmoth. How would you be able to help me?” The female asked firmly as she called off the leopard beside her.

“Do not assume me to being rude, but even though you are capable the akuma’s in battle. Far better then your stand in or the mangy cat. I have come to surmise that detective work is not your forte,” Red Robin answered as he took to leaning on the railing. “I was trained in the fields of being a detective, combat and stealth by one of the best that I know of. I believe if we combine both our skills, we will be able to finally to put the plague that Paris is under to rest,” he finished.

He was not wrong she did need help in that department. She could deal with the combat part more easily now than in years past, having learned from experience. Though she had also collected some leads on the possible identity of Hawkbitch, she was unsure on how to follow up on said leads. If he truly was trained by the Bat of Gotham, someone who was considered the number one detective, he would definitely be a useful asset to the mission.

She only had one question left.

“Why now?” The question seemed to startle the vigilante before. The raw emotion in her voice a reflection of her young thirteen-year-old self, sounding so tired and confused. “I sent a message to the league years ago. Why is their only now a response?”

The male’s expression turned soft at her tone of voice and seeming to understand why she would ask this. “I have no excuse to the sheer incompetence of the one who thought your call of distress was nothing more than a prank. The suffering and deaths of the people of Paris is not something to be brushed off as a prank,” he seethed in anger a small flicker of emotion slipping from his control. Telling the blue clad hero of his sincerity.

A beeping sound of the peafowl wielders miraculous rang through the air. Six minutes.

“I get the feeling that our time is limited so I shall get to the point. Will you give us working together a chance?” And that was the question wasn’t it. Could she trust him to help her?

No, she could not, but she needed someone who could dig deep. And if the Bat had trained him his skills in what he mentioned prior would definitely of use to the cause. Still, he was an unknown with strong control of his emotions and even by looking at his soul, she was able to get more information on the male, she did not feel that she had a good read on him. So, this would be a gamble on her part. She needed a second opinion.

Turning her head, she looked at the little turtle god on her shoulder. For while she and Fu had not always had been able to see eye to eye, Wayzz has always been there to come to some sort of compromise. The little kwami always staying level-headed when there was a whirlwind around him and for that she was grateful. So, she knew she could trust him with being her second voice. The kwami and omega duo locked eyes into a silent conversation as Mist kept watch over the anomaly.

The omega’s eyes soon locked back on the vigilante’s masked once, her decision made. Marinette only hoped she would not come to regret this in the future.

“We will meet to compare notes and come to a full partnership arrangement on Wednesday at eleven p.m. at the arc de triomphe. Should there be an akuma attack before that time I want you to focus on evacuating the civilians away from danger. Try not to get spotted by Chat or LB for I belief we both agree they are not to be trusted,” the peafowl wielder informed the male of her decision. She barely made out the smallest amount of tension leaving his shoulders as Red nodded his head in agreement.

“To that we can most certainly agree,” Red Robin voiced. “Then we shall leave further questions to each other for Wednesday.”

The silence that followed his statement gave the vigilante the impression that it was time to leave. However, as he was about to take of the hero Paris called for his attention once more. Turning back to the blue clad female he motioned for her to continue. “Can you make certain no other heroes come to Paris,” her command gained her a curios tilt of the other humans head, question implied but not voiced.

“When I started being a hero, I thought the JL would be able to help, but after some research of the battle tactics they would only bring more problems than actually solve. For most league heroes seem to rely on an emotion power boost,” Red nodded along with her statement gears starting to turn. “And with Hawkmoth feeding on those emotions would make them a liability.”

“Agreed, I for one do not want to fight a mind controlled and upgraded superman,” The cowled male answered giving her some assurance that he would make sure the league would not interfere with Paris.

Being assured things would be stable until they could talk things out in two days, the two bid each other goodnight. 

As Red Robin took off into the night Blue Royal took one more look at his soul, but instead of looking at his core she observed the spectral dragon that was coiling around his soul. It was the mark of a true soul. Which led to the question: Was that Timothy?

The nudge of the leopard beside her snapped Marinette out of her head and back to reality. Swiftly she and her companions took off to her nest. She had a lot to think about, to plan for and to do and the night was not getting any younger.

taglist: @moonlightstar64 @iloontjeboontje @mickylikesstuff@myazael @scribblinggraveyard @incredulous-reader@mewwitch@woe-is-me0 @fan-written @coolspidermanmusicflower@heretopasstimebi @jjmjjktth @ichigorose@cmouse @nyx-in-line@chocolatecatstheron @bookgirl14 @toodaloo-kangaroo@iglowinggemma28 @itsmeevie01

#maribat #timinette #timari #marinette dupain cheng #tim drake #red robin #kwami swap #miraculous ladybug

[mckinlily]

.the force

Summary: Learning the ways of the Force is not always an easy process. Sometimes lessons can take years, even lifetimes to master.

Sometimes your master seems to go out of his way to make it worse.

Shiro felt the chaotic stirrings in the Force just before Keith stormed into their shared quarters. 

“You ASSHOLE!”

A faint warning had him snapping his hand up to catch—

A rock?

It was a decently pretty rock, with nice blue and green flecks scattered through it, but overall no more interesting than any other mid-sized pebble they might pick up on a mission.

Keith fumed at Shiro’s shoulder behind the couch, massive waves of fury and irritation flooding off him in Force. So far, all lessons on releasing emotions into the Force had only taught Keith to get better at projecting his feelings, rather than control them.

Ah, well. It was progress. 

Maybe. 

With deliberate casualness, Shiro put down the mission report he had been reviewing and turned to his padawan.

“Hello, Keith. I could have sworn that wasn’t the correct form of address on Coruscant. Or did I miss a memo?”

“Stop being an ass,” snapped Keith.

Shiro raised his eyebrows. Keith just glared back. So this was going to be one of those conversations. Shiro leaned back into the couch.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, Keith. Precisely what part of my assery do you want me to stop?” 

Then, recalling he was supposed to be a master and not a fellow padawan, he quickly added, “Ah, not that you should be using that kind of language anyway.”

Keith responded with several words under his breath that made it quite clear he was not taking Shiro’s advice.

Shiro sighed. “Keith. If you have something you want to talk about, I’m here. But for that to work, you’re going to have to actually, you know, talk.”

Keith gave an explosive exhale and flung himself over the back of the couch to land in a sulky sprawl next to Shiro.

Shiro bit back the urge to correct. He still wasn’t certain how to be a Master to a padawan learner—wasn’t even sure he knew how to be a Knight— and Kolivan’s old lectures echoed in his ears. Kolivan wouldn’t have let such impropriety slide. But what his master would have done and what Shiro’s instincts said were constantly at odds, and Shiro just didn’t know which one was right.

This time, his instincts won out. Shiro slumped against the side of the couch, and nudged Keith with the toe of his boot. “What is it.”

Keith shoved Shiro’s foot off the couch and scowled. He pointed at the object in Shiro’s hand. “That’s a rock.”

Shiro double checked that he was, in fact, still holding a rock. He looked back at Keith. “Yes?”

“It’s a kriffing rock!”

This time Shiro ignored the language. “Keith, you’re not giving me much to work with here.”

Keith flung in hands in the air. “It’s from Dazibalb! You said it was special!”

“I...did?”

Keith’s face was getting flushed as he waved his hands about. “Yes!”

“Um…” Shiro examined the innocuous stone in his hand, trying to see how it could be the source of the drama with his padawan.

“I spent a year—a kriffing year!—meditating and researching on it because my master—who is supposed to be TEACHING me—made it seem all important and special. And. It’s Just. A Fucking. ROCK!”

Shiro took a single breath in. Keith was clearly worked up. Shiro was a Jedi Knight and Keith’s master to boot. He needed to react calmly, rationally, with precision and compassion. He let out his breath—

And burst out laughing.

“Shiro!”

“I—aha!—I can’t—”

“Stop it!” Keith grabbed a pillow and started walloping Shiro with it. “It isn’t funny, Shiro!”

“Argh! Keith, get off me—a whole year—”

“Stop laughing, you asshat! I spent MONTHS on this! I went to Master Slav!”

Shiro lost the battle and dissolved into peals of laughter. He could barely breathe through his wheezes while tears gathered on his face.

“I can’t—I can’t—Slav?!”

“I didn’t want to fail!”

Keith’s voice—hardly reliable at the best of times, poor preteen—cracked on that, and Shiro, even crying with laughter, recognized it for what it was. He pushed himself upright, failing (though trying) to force down his laughter.

“I’m not laughing at you.”

Keith pulled back and folded his arms. “Yes, you are,” he sulked.

Shiro choked back another bout of inopportune laughter. “I’m not. It’s just—” A snort slipped out of him, his cheeks hurt—and, nope, he was laughing again. “It’s not you. But your face—”

“Really helping your case there, Shiro,” grumbled Keith, looking away, and damnit, Shiro really needed to pull himself together.

He couldn’t stop the snickering, but he could throw his arm around the younger boy’s shoulders and pull him close. “I adore you,” he promised into Keith’s hair.

Keith still grumbled. “You said—I asked if there was something special, and you said it held the secrets to the Force!”

“I was teasing,” said Shiro, slowly remembering a seemingly meaningless conversation from ages ago. He snorted. “I didn’t expect you to take it seriously.”

“How was I supposed to know that?!” snapped Keith. “You’re my master. You’re supposed to be teaching me, and half this Force stuff doesn’t make sense! You said and—I didn’t know!”

And that, Shiro realized, was the crux of it. The Council hadn’t been happy when Shiro took Keith on as a padawan, claiming he was too emotional and too old, and Keith knew it. He worked hard in his classes, but he was up against classmates who had been studying the Force and the way of the Jedi since they were in diapers. Shiro knew Keith worried. Nevermind that he was a prodigy, insanely powerful, and picked up new Force techniques faster than anyone Shiro had ever seen. Keith felt like he was constantly behind.

“Every padawan has fallen for something like this,” Shiro reassured, ruffling the kid’s hair. “Every. One. Someone started a rumor that the Force comes from little microbes in your body, and that rumor still circulates the creche to freak out Initiates all the time. It happens for everyone.”

Keith huffed. “You didn’t have to laugh at me.” He sounded annoyed, but hurt burnished his presence about the Force. 

“I’m sorry,” said Shiro earnestly. Keith’s outrage was funny but not his hurt. “Keith, I would never intentionally make you feel or look stupid.”

Keith flung his arms out. “I don’t know anything! Everyone knows all this stuff, and I don’t know any of it! I’m supposed to be a padawan.”

“You are a padawan,” said Shiro, tugging on Keith’s padawan braid to emphasise the point. “It doesn’t matter what everyone else knows. You’re a padawan learner. The point is to learn, which you’re doing. Where everyone else is doesn’t matter.”

“Younglings know more than me,” grumbled Keith.

“What did I just say?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Stupid Jedi crap. It’s easy to say when you’re not the one people are calling a non-sensitive in class.”

Shiro snorted. Hard. 

“Not at you,” he said to Keith quickly, shaking his head and smashing down dangerous fury that threatened at the mistreatment of his padawan. He snorted again. “If your classmates can’t tell how strong you are in the Force, maybe they are the ones who are non-sensitive.”

Keith slumped, somewhat pacified but still unconvinced. 

“You know, Master Yoda didn’t even talk until he was fifty years old. His species ages so slowly most of his clan had already become Masters before he even left the Creche.”

“But he’s Yoda,” protested Keith.

“And how do you know that in ten years, someone won’t be saying the same thing about you?” challenged Shiro. “You’re already one of the best pilots in the Order, and you’re not even a senior padawan yet. You might feel like you’re struggling to catch up now, but I guarantee that before long, all of us will be fighting to keep up with you.”

Keith snorted. “Sure, Shiro.”

“You’ll see,” said Shiro, his nose in the air. “I’m right.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” And Shiro let him have that. They wouldn’t break through all of Keith’s issues in a day. Instead, he changed the subject.

“Did you really spend months researching?”

Keith slumped into the couch. “I didn’t want you to think I failed you,” he muttered to the floor.

Shiro’s heart trembled and melted. It was deeply humbling to realize how seriously Keith had taken his offhand remark. And a little terrifying. His padawan trusted him so completely, and he—he wasn’t even sure he deserved his rank of Knight. 

(How did one go about being a master? How did he be a master when he couldn’t even go to his own master for help? When he couldn’t be sure that he hadn’t been Knighted merely because no one had wanted to finish his own training?)

((No one had wanted to train Keith, either, he remembered. Shiro was determined to make sure his padawan never grew up with the same doubts.))

“Did you keep your research?”

Keith looked at him with narrow-eyed suspicion. “Why?”

“I figure if you put in all the work, you might as well get something out of it,” shrugged Shiro. “I bet we could put together a good case for an independent study. Free up your time for more advanced piloting classes.”

Keith’s eyes slowly lit up. “You mean it?”

“Of course, kiddo,” said Shiro. “I didn’t mean to send you on a wild goose chase.”

Keith huffed. Shiro squeezed his shoulders.

“I promise. I’ll be more careful about my teasing. And when I set you a task, I’ll make sure you know it’s an assignment. None of this vague hint stuff.”

Keith grumbled under his breath, but relief whafted off of him in the Force. Shiro really didn’t understand how so many in the Temple described his padawan as unreadable. Keith projected everything. Loudly. If only you took the time to listen.

Shiro tugged on Keith’s padawan braid again. “We good?”

Keith flopped grumpily against Shiro’s side. “You’re the worst,” he said, though the pulse he sent through their training bond didn’t back it up.

“I really am sorry,” said Shiro.

Keith squirmed against his side. “I just feel so dumb,” he admitted in a low mumble. “Anyone else would have known it was just a rock.”

“Well…” Shiro held up the rock, running his senses over it. It had certainly started as an ordinary rock, but things that were in close contact with the Jedi rarely stayed that way for long. Shiro could feel the vague impression of Keith in it, his loyalty and passion, all wrapped up in his fierce determination. Shiro concentrated on the rock as well, focusing on what he felt for Keith, his pride and joy in his padawan, and pushing that into the Force.

When he finished, the sense wasn’t as strong as he would have liked it—Shiro wasn’t very practiced in Force Impressions—but it was there.

“Here,” he said, passing the rock back to Keith. Keith took it somewhat suspiciously, and Shiro felt him prod hestistantly at it in the Force.

“Oh. Huh.” Keith looked up at Shiro, clearly looking for a confirmation that what he was feeling was real.

“Maybe it didn’t start out special,” said Shiro. “But it certainly is now.” He took a chance and ruffled Keith’s hair. “Just like you.”

“Argh!” Keith batted his hand away. “What are you so sappy?”

“Excuse you, I am genuine, charming, and eloquent.”

Keith frowned at him. Then, taking Shiro completely by surprise, he shoved him with the Force, knocking him off the couch and sending him sprawling on the floor.

“Ooof. This is how you repay me?” groaned Shiro from the ground. 

“Yep.” Keith preened, unrepentant from his position on the couch. Shiro took a moment to appreciate how far he’d come from the bitter, scared slave he had been when they first met. Smug and triumphant was a good look on him. 

“All right.” Shiro accepted defeat. “Pass me my datapad. I need to finish that mission report.”

“Your—What? You’re going to work from the floor?”

“Yep,” said Shiro, not even bothering to sit up.

“You are so weird,” concluded Keith, but a second later Shiro’s datapad was dropping onto his face and he snatched it out of the air. 

“Thanks,” said Shiro. He started scrolling through his notes, trying to find where he left off. 

“You’re the strangest master in the Order,” said Keith.

Shiro looked up from his datapad. “Would you rather the Council reassign you a different master?” he said hesitantly, trying to hide how the possibility cut him.

But Keith quickly shook his head. “No. I’ll stick with what I’ve got.”

“Me too,” said Shiro, quietly hiding his relief. “I wouldn’t trade you for any other padawan out there. Not for the entire galaxy.”

“Good,” said Keith. 

But still, the bond between them seemed to hum just a little warmer and stronger after that. 

#starganes #shiro #keith #star wars crossover #mckinlily writes: vld fic

[thewraith8]

Shadow and Bone Netflix Show - Brief Analysis

In this post I am going to break down the things I liked, the things I did not like, and just a general overview of my thoughts on the Shadow and Bone Netflix show. This is coming from someone who has read the Shadow and Bone trilogy about three years ago, the Six of Crows duology about a year ago, and has just recently watched the show when it premiered. I am a big fan of the duology and I did find the trilogy decently enjoyable at the time that I read it. 

I would like to preface this by saying that, as this is an overview, I will not be going into a lot of detail with regards to every scene. I may do something like that in future posts where I discuss each scene or character separately but this is more of a general overview. I would also like to clarify that I will not be addressing anything super in depth about the racism in the show as I am not very educated on the topic. I know that a lot of people have many different views on it and as someone who is Asian, my personal view is that it was fine. Some pieces of dialogue would occasionally feel a little forced but I personally do not believe it was a bad idea to make Alina a mixed race character. I know sometimes it can really feel like the producers and writers are trying to be diverse by adding POC to the cast and having the character face some form of discrimination every other scene but this show did not feel like it was pushing it super hard. There was so much else going on in the show that I did not mind those few scenes where they did address racism. 

So this is going to be divided into three parts. The first is production quality. The second is casting, acting, and character portrayals. And third is the writing and storytelling. So now let’s get into it.

Production quality: 

This was one of the biggest things I feared would be terrible about the show and would greatly impact my opinion of it because in a visual medium it is very difficult to get past bad visual effects, sets, etc. I knew it would be the first thing I would notice upon starting the show and I was very pleasantly surprised to see that money was clearly spent in the production with the incredible effects, costumes, props, set designs, and cinematography. I will say I am not educated on the subject of filmmaking and cinematography but from the little I do understand I think it was done very well.

There were also certain aspects I noticed when comparing the filming of scenes between the two storylines.  Mal and Alina’s scenes such as when they are writing letters to each other or when we get flashbacks of them at the orphanage, are more slow and soothing almost like gentle waves swaying back and forth on a beach. Their voices and dialogue are also soft and warm and this really gives a good sense of their relationship and dynamic. In contrast, when you look at scenes involving the crows, the filming is a lot quicker and snappier and things are generally more fast paced. Their dialogue, which involves a lot of banter or back and forths, is also great in showing their dynamic as well as their own individual character. 

Moving on to set designs and costumes, I think these were done really well. The throne room of the Little Palace was almost exactly as I had imagined it to look and the palace in general with the rooms and hallways did appear to be high quality. The Fold was also very well done though something I found a little strange was the occasional bursts of lightning in the sky. I think that sort of defeats the purpose of it being this completely dark place. Other than that it was exactly as I would imagine it to look. Ketterdam was also exactly as I imagined it to be with the dark alleys and dingy streets. With regards to the costumes, I think they were beautiful. Alina’s costumes in particular were really well done. I loved the way they did her hair and make up in certain scenes like when they go through the Fold that last time. The Keftas that the Grisha wore were incredible and accurate to the books with the different colours of each for the different kinds of Grisha. The crows’ costumes were also exactly what I imagined each of them to look like and felt really connected to their characters. Overall I think the set designs and costumes were fantastic.

All in all I would give production a 9.5/10. 

2. Casting, acting, and character portrayals:

Casting was also one of my fears for this show since the characters for me are the most important part of any story and if the cast is not good then the characters will not come across in the best way possible. I was once again so pleasantly surprised with the actors and actresses chosen for each role. I was worried about cringy acting as well and I am so glad there was no point at which I was cringing at any of the acting. The actors all appeared to have great chemistry and it came across wonderfully on screen. I’m going to briefly go through each of the main characters and the actor or actress that plays them and my thoughts on the acting and character portrayals alone. Later in the thrid section of this long post I will talk about each character with regards to how they were written.  

Alina: I personally believe Jessie Mei Li played a perfect Alina Starkov. She really gave off the vibe of being this important figure, a Sun Summoner, without it feeling annoying or as though she knows she is the main character of the story. I think her acting and expressions were generally well done. 

Mal: Though Archie Renaux was not how I imagined Mal to look, I think he did a great job of portraying the character. His interactions with Jessie Mei Li also felt very natural and they definitely had good chemistry. 

Darkling: Again, I think Ben Barnes was the perfect casting for the Darkling and his portrayal of the character was very well done. There were times where he would get teary eyed when talking to Alina and I understand that it was part of his character in being manipulative but it looked just a bit weird because crying is just something that almost humanizes him which I think does not fit with the idea and aesthetic of his character. You can still have him be manipulative and appear a victim to Alina without him crying or getting teary eyed. I think he would be able to get that across better with a tragic expression and tone of voice. But overall I think he made a great Darkling.

Kaz: Once again perfect casting with Freddy Carter. And really for this one, props to the directors and others who cast him for this role because this was a diffcult character to get the perfect casting for. Kaz’s character is probably the one that I have the biggest problem with but that has more to do with the writing aspect of his character. With regards to the casting and acting, I think Freddy Carter was amazing. First of all, he looks exactly as I would imagine Kaz to look. Second, his expressions and mannerisms were on point. And third, he had really good chemistry with Amita Suman (Inej) and Kit Young (Jesper). 

Inej: I feel like I keep repeating myself but once again I think this casting was perfect. Amita Suman as Inej just felt very right. Her portrayal of the character was amazing, she looked just as I imagined Inej would, and her chemistry with the other actors was incredible. 

Jesper: Once again great casting with Kit Young as Jesper. He got across that charisma and humour that Jesper is known for extremely well through his expressions and body language. He also appeared to have great chemistry with the rest of the cast. 

Nina: Another great choice to cast Danielle Galligan as Nina. I think she captured Nina’s energy or “vibe” perfectly with her voice and body language. 

Matthias: Calahan Skogman is exactly as I pictured Matthias to look so I think he was a great choice as well. 

Overall I think the casting, acting, and character portrayals in this show were spectacular so I would give it a 10/10.

3. Writing and storytelling/ How it was as an adaptation:

This is, in my opinion, the section with the most issues even though they were very few. 

Overall I think the writing was great. There were a few cliche pieces of a dialogue but those were very few. The dialogue for each of the characters felt natural and never felt out of character. As I mentioned previously, Mal and Alina’s dialogue had a warmth to it and their dynamic of childhood best friends came across really well through their dialogue. It did not feel as though they were trying really hard to have that dynamic. I also think it was a great decision to have the letters they wrote to each other be narration for many of the scenes that we saw them in. This was a great method of really getting across what they were feeling while they were apart and allowing the viewer to empathize with them. On the other hand a similar sort of technique was used with the crows. Whenever they were carrying out some sort of heist or mission, Kaz would be narrating the plan while we were watching it physically play out on screen. The dialogue between the crows was generally good and mostly in character. Their dynamic came across really well in a lot of their banter. 

With regards to the storytelling and as an adaptation, I also think the show did a pretty great job. Alina’s storyline was coherent and had a logical progression from beginning to end, following the major plot beats of the book. The main issue I have with it is that it felt rushed. I think adding an episode or two may really have helped with the pacing. It felt as though Alina learns about her powers and is taken to the Little Palace where she’s conflicted for maybe an episode and then suddenly she feels at home and like she belongs. We barely get to see her training at the Little Palace with Baghra or Botkin or see the development of her friendships with Marie and Nadia as well as with Genya. That part of her arc, which was a major part of it, felt rushed. Other than that I think the show did a good job of getting her from point A to B in a cohesive way.  

The crows storyline, I thought, was incredible because, since I am a big fan of the duology, I loved getting to see the crows and how they were before the events of Six of Crows. I think it was fun seeing their lives in Ketterdam and the way they worked before Nina, Matthias, or Wylan joined them. I was worried about how they would be incorporated in the story and that it would not feel natural but I think the decision to make their goal be to get Alina was a great way to tie them into the main storyline. It made sense with their characters that they would do something like that to get money and it made Alina’s storyline even more interesting. Getting to see interactions between the characters of both the trilogy and duology was one of the best parts of the show for me. Think about it. These were interactions we could only have hoped to see in the books and the show brought that to life and gave us those interactions. The crows’ storyline did feel a little less cohesive than Alina’s but this also made sense with their characters and the mission they had to carry out. There were many parts of the plan that needed to be completed, different heists and side missions, in order for them to reach their end goal which was kidnapping Alina from the Little Palace so it made sense that their storyline was a little less straightforward. Overall I think they had a very interesting and captivating story.

As an adaptation I think the show did quite well. Further down in this post I am going to discuss the major issues I had with the show as part of this section where I am discussing writing, storytelling, and the show as an adaptation. But in general I think the show did well in adapting the characters as well as Alina’s storyline. The crows’ storyline was obviously something that was not taken from the books but something that I could definitely see them doing. I think the show also did a great job of adapting the world and all of its intricacies as well as giving off that atmosphere that you get a sense of when reading the books. I also liked that there were many pieces of dialogue taken straight from the books which really made the characters of the show feel exactly like those of the book. 

Okay, now breaking down the few issues I had:

Kaz’s character: I think if we look at Kaz in the books, we can break his character down into two parts, the two defining parts:

His intelligence, wit, and strategic mind.

His cruel and brutal nature.

I think the show got both of these wrong on different levels. One of these can be explained while the other cannot. In the show, Kaz is not nearly as intelligent or strategic as he is shown to be in the books. We see on a number of occasions in the show that he has been taken advantage of or that he is not in the upperhand of a situation. I think that is a major change from his character in the book where one of the things you remembered about Kaz was how he was always ten steps ahead of his opponent. But this is an issue that can be explained and given depth by considering that the crows’ storyline in the show takes place prior to the events of Six of Crows and that at this point in time, Kaz hasn’t become that quick-witted, mastermind, strategist we know him to be in the books. We can see the beginnings of that character in the way he is portrayed in the show and can understand that his natural progression would be to the character from the books in the aspect of his intelligence. On the other hand however, there is still the second major part of his character and that part is a little bit of a bigger problem. That has to do with his completely cruel and brutal nature from the books. This was one of his major defining features and was very strongly rooted in his backstory. It was his past with Pekka Rollins and the death of his brother Jordie that brought about this ruthlessness in him. And what made his character so interesting and dynamic was how he was very slowly becoming a more caring person. It was a very slow progression but it was there nonetheless. You could see it in the way he cared for Inej and the rest of the crew. By the end he was still no where near being a gentleman, but there was still a change in him from the beginning to end. This is where I think the show messed up a little and it is an issue that I don’t really think can be resolved. The show made Kaz more soft and kind in nature. He definitely wasn’t entirely nice but you could tell he was a lot nicer compared to his book counterpart. Certain scenes in which he is talking to Inej felt a little too soft in particular the scene in which it almost seems as though he is about to confess something to her when she rushes out of the room and he calls after her. I don’t imagine book Kaz would ever do that. Or when he tells her that no one is like her. These are all moments where he appears to be much softer compared to the Kaz in the books that was cold and cruel. This is also an issue that cannot really be fixed in future seasons because the natural progression for the show then would be that he gets softer then he already is which means we will not get to see the Kaz from the books at all or with any accuracy.  If future seasons do make him exactly as he is in the duology then there will be the issue of it not feeling consistent with the character he was made to be in the shows. However I will end off by saying that even despite his character not being entirely accurate to that of the books, I still very much enjoyed watching every scene he was in and this issue did not ruin the overall experience of the show for me. I think what they did with his character still worked really well with the story, so overall it was not a major issue for me in changing my opinion of the show. 

Nina telling Matthias why she got him imprisoned as a slaver: This I find to be a greater problem that could have so easily been fixed by taking out just a few pieces of dialogue. I think a big part of what made Nina and Matthias’ story so heartbreaking was this pivotal moment when Nina turns him in as a slaver to save his life. And he doesn’t learn the truth until they reunite in the present day of Six of Crows. He spends that time in Hellgate believing that she betrayed him and that she really was the deceitful and dishonest witch he believed her and all other Grisha to be. Then when he finally does learn the truth, it is this big moment and then he has a slow progression to eventually believing it. The show eliminated the entire part of what made their story so tragic by having Nina tell him the truth of what happened immediately after she has him captured. So there is no possibility of this slow journey that Matthias has of accepting that truth. In the show he almost seems mean now for not believing or at least trying to believe what Nina tells him. Overall this is probably one of my biggest gripes with the whole show.

The Darkling creating the Fold: Another issue that could quite easily have been fixed is how the Darkling created the fold. The show made it to be that he came across a small slip of paper, he read what was on it, and then he gained the ability to create the Fold. That is too simple of an explanation for how something as grand as the Shadow Fold was created. I think this could have rather easily have been fixed so that even if it was still easy it wouldn’t be as easy as just happening upon a slip of paper. They could have done it by showing a montage of him looking through all the books in the archive and figuring out that there is some sort of code that he needed to put together and when he does piece it together and perform some sort of ritual, then he gains this ability to create the Fold. That would have made it more believable and the scene would only have been slightly longer than what it was in the show. 

Crows letting Alina escape: This was another issue I had that sort of adds to how they changed Kaz’s character because book Kaz would never have allowed Alina to escape so easily. Even the Kaz in the show would not have been outsmarted by Alina. This was one thing that felt a little out of character for the crows because, fine, I can understand that Alina blinded them for those few seconds with her light and Inej was not in on the plan of capturing her anymore, but how was Alina able to run out of sight so fast that neither Kaz nor Jesper saw where she went. Then on top of that, they aren’t discreet about finding her, as Kaz is always careful to be. Instead they go around the streets describing how she looks and asking people if they’ve seen her. I am not entirely sure what they could have done to solve this issue but I don’t believe the solution was very difficult. Maybe they could have explained through a short piece of dialogue that Alina used her power in a way that blinded them for more than thirty seconds which gave Alina enough time to get out of sight. Whatever the reason, I think this should not have been an issue because, despite seeming small, I think it says a lot about the crows’ characters. And I definitely don’t think this was a bad scene at all because I loved seeing this interaction and seeing Inej’s reaction to Alina. I just think the issue of Alina escaping so easily should have been addressed. 

For now, after watching the show just once, those were the major issues in writing and storytelling that I had with the show. If I have more thoughts about this after watching it again, I will make another post about it. Now I want to talk about some things that the show added that were not in the books and what was changed or kept from the books, that I liked. 

Mal’s character: The change that was made to Mal’s character in the show was probably the biggest and best change that could have been made. One of the major reasons I do not like the Shadow and Bone trilogy anywhere near as much as the Six of Crows duology is the characters. Sure, I found the world and plot interesting when I read the trilogy a few years back and even at times the characters were good, but a lot of the time I was either annoyed with Alina or with Mal. Most of the time it was Mal because he didn’t really feel like he was a great friend to Alina because of the way he treated her for being Grisha. I think a lot of my frustration with him also came from the story being entirely in Alina’s perspective so we never got to see any of what Mal was going through. The times that we did see him, he was either angry at or overly protective of Alina and there were only few occasions where he was being a good friend. The show really changed that with allowing us to see his perspective and all the difficulty and trauma he was going through to be with Alina. The show succeeded in making him an empathetic character and I think that is one of the most necessary things in creating a likeable character. Through his dialogue and actions, we were able to see how much he really cared for Alina. There were never any long stretches of time where he was angry with her or, on the other hand, where he was being overly protective of her. He was continuously being a good and supportive friend and that made the biggest difference in my liking his character. It is also what made me really enjoy Alina’s storyline as well because there was no point at which I found either Alina or Mal or any other character involved in their story, annoying to watch. 

No mourners no funerals: I was overjoyed when this line came up in the show because it is such an iconic line from the duology that I absolutely love and it was great to see it said on screen. Similarly, I was so glad that we also got to see Kaz say the line, “The deal is the deal.” and say it to Alina. 

Interactions between S&B and SoC characters: This was probably one of my favourite things about the show. It really felt like watching two worlds collide. I loved watching Kaz and Inej posing as guards and trying to escort Alina so they can take her. Watching Inej’s reactions to Alina was one of the best things. Then, Mal teaming up with the crows when they are in the Fold was one of the strangest but coolest interactions. Alina giving Inej the knife that she later names Sankta Alina was one of the best interactions I could have hoped for with the crossing of these two casts of characters. And to end it with Alina giving Kaz that valuable piece of jewelry, an interaction I never thought I would see, was incredible. 

Conductor: The addition of this character I think was a great idea. He definitely added to the storyline of the crows and was an interesting character on his own. He was the cause of a lot of the funniest dialogue and moments in the show like when the crows are crossing the fold for the first time. Overall, I think it was a good decision to add him in. 

Now last but not least, the thing that stole the show and beat everything else by far was:

(Drum roll)

Milo the goat!

And with nothing more to say about that, we’ve reached the conclusion of this very long post. My overall rating for this third and last section, which is regarding the writing and storytelling, would be an 8.5/10, a very good score. 

If I were to rate the show over all, I would give it a 9.3/10 because I think it was spectacular in many aspects. The few gripes I did have were not anything too major, though if those aspects were fixed I think this would be a top-tier show and adaptation for me. 

What do you think about everything that I said? Do you agree or disagree? I’d love to have a discussion so feel free to reach out and comment!

#shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #six of crows #inej #kaz #jesper #mal #darkling #shadow and bone netflix show analysis #analysis #nina zenik #alina starvok #mal oretsev #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #grishaverse netflix #netflix

[leiasfanaccount648]

Is It Enough?

Hajime Iwaizumi x Fem!Reader

A/N: I got inspired by some lovely Haikyuu writers (as well as some real life events) to make my own scenario. Also, gif credits go to the maker, not me. I hope you all enjoy! :)

Tags: @briswriting @mikwrites @haikyuuopworld​

Summary: After dating throughout and after high school, Hajime decides to propose to his girlfriend of 5+ years. Of course, the process leading up to popping the question is a lot harder than he realized it would be. 

Word Count: 5410

Warnings/Contains: TONS of fluff, fair amount of angst/sadness, nerves. Also, disclaimer, I did google searches and currency transfers/differences for parts of the fic (you’ll see) so I apologize in advance if anything seems incorrect/weird.

Google Search:

what is the best way to propose

Search Results:

Prep a place in a private beach with an intimate tent and rose petals. Find a private beach to go on bended knee for a simple proposal idea. Put a ring on in it down by the beach. Get snazzed up and then suggest walking down by the water.

“There’s no way I can do that.”

Google Search:

When is an appropriate time to propose

Search Results:

While some would prefer to be in a relationship for two or three years before even thinking about getting married, a new study conducted by F. Hinds says the optimum time is just ONE YEAR and eight months (and three days to be exact!)

“Am I too late to even be doing this?”

Google Search:

how much is the average engagement ring

Search Results:

According to recent surveys, most couples expect to spend between ¥108,022 and ¥540,110 on an engagement ring. The actual average cost for an engagement ring is over ¥665,796. With all that said, most women are reasonable creatures.

“God, I can’t afford anywhere close to that.”

Relationships can be many things, whether they’re serious, just starting out, or even just with a friend or family member. Either way, complicated things always come rushing in that either strengthen or ruin them.

For Hajime, he had been in a serious relationship with his girlfriend for years, and he had been struggling with something that most men could probably figure out and accomplish in a matter of months.

He had been at it for almost 2 years, and it was a simple proposal.

“Iwaizumi!”

Hajime quickly turned around at the voice, seeing a girl he vaguely recognized from his class running down the hall towards him. She was not only sudden about her words but also a little frantic; god knew whatever she wanted from him, but he was about to find out himself. “Yeah? Can I help you?” He looked the girl up and down real quick, noticing how she was slightly out of breath. He took the moment to try and remember her name as well, but she took care of that for him.

“Although we’re in the same class I doubt you know who I am,” she laughed, finding the idea funny, “but I’m (Y/N) (L/N). I’m really struggling on the english homework that’s due at the end of the week, and I know that you’re good at the subject so I was wondering if maybe you’d take some time out of your life to help me pass?”

Hajime glanced to the side to see if his friends were present, but noticed that they were still walking down the hallway to head towards the gym. Only Oikawa stopped when he realized that his best friend wasn’t walking beside him anymore, watching the two talk from a couple feet away.

“Uh, I mean,” Hajime didn’t know what to say at first, not wanting to be rude but still wanting to be a decent human being. “I have volleyball practice before and after school every day, but if you want to meet during lunch or something I can try my best to help you.”

“Really?” The girl gave him a relieved yet bright smile, as though asking him something like that was the most intimidating thing to ever do. She quickly bowed her head in thanks. “Thank you so much, I owe you big time!” Hajime smiled a little himself, opening his mouth to respond but his idiotic friend called for him.

“Iwa-Chan! Quit talking with your admirers and let’s get going.” Oikawa began walking down the hall after their other friends. “Us first years can’t be late you know!”

Hajime sighed in both annoyance and embarrassment. He turned his head slightly towards Oikawa. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” He glanced back at (Y/N). “Sorry, I’ve gotta go.”

(Y/N) shook her head, smiling. “No, no, it’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She began to walk back towards the classroom, waving back at him. “Thanks again, Iwaizumi!”

Hajime stopped from typing on his computer as he thought back to almost 6 years ago. The moment that he met the love of his life was cliche for sure, but he still loved her nonetheless. From the random nonsense she would spew at him, to how cute she looked when struggling to reach for something and would refuse to admit that she needed his help, to how she would comfort him after bad practices and games alike; there wasn’t a single thing about her that made him not want to love her. That was why he had to marry her.

“Iwa!” (Y/N) quickly made her way over to Hajime, smiling bright despite it being so late in the day. “Are you ready to go?”

Hajime turned to look at her, ignoring Oikawa’s rant about whatever skill or technique he had been working on that day during practice. He managed a smile despite being so worn out from the last few hours. “Yeah, I just need to get changed real quick then we can head out.”

It had been almost a year since the two of them started dating, and things were going well. Slow, but good nonetheless. They ate lunch together, walked to and from school, and had the occasional date night every other week or so. It was simple, but with them still being in high school and being busy with things in their lives outside of classes, it was just about all they could do anyways.

Of course, Hajime had the constant thought at the back of his mind of whether or not it was enough for (Y/N).

They had just started their second year at Aoba Johsai, and although both of them acted comfortable with the way they had been doing things, Hajime was worried that she would leave him for someone that could give her more. This then led him to worry if (Y/N) was worrying about whether or not she was enough for him.

She constantly reassured him that it was okay if he couldn’t walk her to school one morning due to an earlier morning practice, or if she happened to have a family event in the evening so they couldn’t get snacks after their clubs were done for the day. As long as they could keep in touch, and still felt the same about one another, everything was okay, at least in her eyes.

He believed what she said, but Hajime still had to ask her something for the sake of his sanity before he got desperate enough to ask Oikawa for help. It wasn’t that he hated any ideas or suggestions he thought of, he just didn’t think that a plan from a guy who only flirts and rarely (actually) dates women would work in Hajime’s case.

Iwaizumi finished changing as fast as he could, quickly saying goodbye to everyone in the clubroom before leaving and rushing down the metal stairs to meet his girlfriend at the bottom. “Ready when you are.”

Their walk was nothing out of the ordinary. Loosely held hands, talking about how their clubs went and sharing funny stories or jokes about some of their friends (mostly Oikawa), and overall enjoying each other’s company. They decided to skip snacks on the way home tonight, as (Y/N) told Hajime that her mother had planned a big dinner and didn’t want to miss out on it, but that made the walk no less interesting.

Silence fell upon them after (Y/N) finished talking about how one of her friends in her club had accidentally messaged their crush about something embarrassing, and a slight breeze went past the two of them, making (Y/N) shiver slightly. She didn’t say anything, but Hajime noticed and let go of her hand to put his arm around her waist and hold her close.

“Iwa-”

“You’re cold.”

(Y/N) didn’t say anything else, only smiling and leaning against him as they continued to walk. A moment or so later, Hajime spoke up.

“By the way, do you have anything going on in a couple months?”

The two stopped at an intersection to wait for the crosswalk to turn green and (Y/N) took out her phone to check her calendar. She shrugged as she looked through it, double checking just to make sure. “I don’t think so. Why?”

“Are you busy June 18th?”

(Y/N) glanced at the date again on her phone as Hajime responded almost immediately. She smiled as she remembered the date. “You mean to tell me you’re planning something for our 1 year anniversary?” She held back a giggle as she saw his face flush slightly. She always found it cute when he let his guard down and got flustered because of her.

Hajime glanced up, seeing the crosswalk signal change. He pulled (Y/N) close to him once again and started to cross the street with her. He sighed, knowing it was now or never. “Well, I’m planning on it.” Here it goes. “I’m just not entirely sure what to do.”

(Y/N) did her best to look up at him, despite him holding onto her the way that he was. “What do you mean?” She didn’t necessarily understand why he seemed so unsure and nervous on the subject. Afterall, all she could really ask for was a day with him by herself; however, there was a look in his eye as Hajime continued to look ahead at the sidewalk that practically told her that an answer like that wouldn’t suffice for him. “You don’t have to worry yourself, Iwaizumi. I don’t need anything special or extravagant like what most girls would want.”

“But I feel like I could be doing more and,” he paused, glancing down at the concrete. “I just don’t know what I can do for you.” There it was. He didn’t plan on saying it that quickly into the conversation, but it was racking his mind like crazy.

(Y/N) forced the two of them to slow their walk until they were stopped. She stood in front of him; the look in her eyes almost held the same emotion his did: worry. “Wait, is there a problem with me? Is what we’ve been doing getting old?” Of course she knew it was a little irrational to think much less say these thoughts to him, but now she couldn’t help it. Hajime shook his head, his gaze never leaving her eyes.

“No, no, of course not.” He paused, quickly gathering his thoughts. “If anything, it’s more of the other way around.” He laughed softly, part of it almost forced out. He took hold of her hands, looking at them before meeting her gaze once again. “I just care about you so much that I’m afraid of screwing up what we already have.”

“But I’ve already told you that I don’t need much.”

“Yes, but you deserve so much more.”

(Y/N) felt her heart practically skip at his words, touched and even felt the love radiating off his words. She knew that they hadn’t been dating long enough for most people to say it, but she could still feel the love between the two of them.

(Y/N) didn’t know until Hajime told her almost a year later, but that was the moment that he realized he loved her. He also didn’t believe her at first when she said that part of her knew. It was all so uncanny to both of them that it just felt unreal. Of course, both of them knew that they didn’t care how typical their relationship was. It was theirs and no one else’s.

Hajime took a deep breath, the smile slowly leaving his face as he stared at the computer screen, looking through link after link, google search after google search, trying to find not only the right ring, but the right time and place as well. He sighed again, shaking his head.

“This isn’t working.”

He stood up from his desk, grabbing his wallet, keys, and jacket before heading out the door. Maybe some hands on searching would help him. They had come this far, and he knew that he couldn’t fail her now.

“I just,” (Y/N) sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe that won’t let up about this.”

It was late, around 10pm on a Friday, and (Y/N) had been on a skype call with Hajime for the past half hour or so. She hadn’t been messaging him for a few hours since he dropped her off at home, which worried him a little, but he knew that she wouldn’t be ignoring him on purpose. So he decided to keep himself distracted until he received a Skype call on his computer from her.

He was a little confused, as they didn’t Skype often, nor had she texted prior to calling him. Of course, that didn’t stop him from walking over to his desking and sitting down before answering the call. He felt his heart break at the sound and sight of her crying, one hand holding her forehead as she the other held a crumpled up tissue to her eyes. Hajime would have done anything to physically be with her right now, but he knew that he couldn’t at the moment.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“It’s just my parents again.” She sniffled, looking up at the camera as she heard his voice. “I swear once we’ve graduated, I’m going to keep as little contact with them as possible.”

Ever since (Y/N)’s parent’s met Hajime, they loved him. They knew he was caring, protective, and all around a great guy for their daughter. When they found out his intentions after high school, they started to suggest things to (Y/N) that, in short terms, would make her want to either push Hajime to consider a different career, or even break up with him.

Yes, Hajime was a great volleyball player, but neither of (Y/N)’s parents thought that he could make a living playing professionally. Sports at the national level were hard enough to make into as it is, and as talented as he was, neither of them thought he could.

Hajime was aware of this, after (Y/N)’s parents started talking to her about life after high school, and he honestly didn’t care for their opinions on his playing; but after seeing how upset they made (Y/N) and realizing that he didn’t know himself how he was supposed to make his girlfriend’s parents completely happy with her choice of being with him, he couldn’t help but be annoyed and upset as well.

Hajime had managed to calm (Y/N) down on the matter, but her thoughts about life after graduation continued. Yes, the year had just started, but there was still so much to decide on. What would life after the two of them graduated be like? Would they both be in college; same or different? Would Hajime go out for a national team and make it resulting in her to go wherever he went, or be in a long distance relationship? Would neither of them go to college, each get a job, and move in somewhere together?

So many questions ran through her head, and Hajime could tell even if she was through a screen. Just in case her parents might have been able to hear, he quickly pulled out his phone and sent her a text. As she received it, (Y/N) glanced up at her computer to see Hajime simply looking at her and gesturing for her to open it.

Hajime: You wanna go get some food?

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile, quickly replying.

(Y/N): Yes please

Hajime: Great. I’ll pick you up in 10

She glanced up at the screen one more time, seeing him smile at her. It read everything, but she still said it nonetheless. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Just like he said, Hajime picked her up at her house (as it hadn’t been the first time she had snuck out), and he drove the two of them to her favorite fast food place. They went through the drive-thru but stayed in the parking lot to eat as they had nowhere else to go. This time, it was (Y/N) who had to ask him a question that had been rattling her mind.

“What do you think our lives are going to be like after we graduate?”

Hajime looked over at her, still chewing his food, and saw the look on her face. Part of her was still thinking about what her parents said about him, but he couldn’t blame her. He swallowed and turned in his seat to face her. “Well, what would you like it to be?”

(Y/N) looked down for a moment in thought and smiled. It was as though she had already thought about it. “I would love for us to live together. If only I go to college, I’d study while you play for one of the national level teams, and I’d also get a job to help pay for things.” She set the bag of food down on the floor of the car below her seat before holding both of her knees in her arms as she sat. She continued to think about what their life could be like, a fond smile still on her face.

“However, if you don’t make a national team, I know you’ll still play at the college we decide to go to. Hell, maybe even Oikawa will follow us there if he doesn’t make a team either.” She chuckles, causing Hajime to do the same. She bit her lip in thought, letting go of her knees so her legs could relax and looking out through the car windshield at the street 10 or so feet away from them. Hajime stayed silent as he knew (Y/N) had more that she wanted to say.

“Later down the road after I, or we both,” she glanced at him, “graduate, we’ll continue to live together. We’ll both have stable jobs, and I just know you’re going to be involved with professional volleyball whether you’re on the court, interviewing players, or spectating games.” She smiled to herself again. “And,” she looked up at him once more, “we’ll even get married.”

Hajime considered that either time had stopped or his heart had. Whether it was one, the other, or both, his gaze did not leave hers. He was so surprised by her last statement that his face didn’t show any other emotion other than shock. (Y/N) couldn’t tell if it was the good or bad kind. Eventually, he spoke up, his hand reaching out to hold her own. “You really mean that?”

(Y/N) couldn’t stop the tearful smile from appearing on her face, nodding and squeezing his hand slightly. “Yes, Hajime.” She took hold of his other hand. “I love you so much and I want us to be together for as long as time will allow us.”

Hajime didn’t stop himself, nor could he if he wanted to. He leaned over the center console of the car and kissed her, one of his hands letting go of hers to gently hold the back of her neck to keep her close.

They kissed for a few seconds before (Y/N) broke away to climb over the gearshift to straddle his lap. She pulled him close once again to resume the kiss, her hands holding his shoulders and neck while his stayed on her waist.

Soon enough, (Y/N) was clinging to Hajime with all that she had, smiling and giggling in between kisses and causing him to do the same. She paused for a moment, resting her forehead against his, both of them breathless.

“Hajime?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he still heard her nonetheless.

“Yeah?”

(Y/N) stared at him for a moment before breaking out into a wide grin again. “I love you so much.”

Hajime smiled as well, one hand gently holding onto her cheek as his eyes closed. “I love you, too.”

“We carry a wide selection of rings varying from bands to the diamonds, and we can customize just about any ring to make sure that she says yes.”

Hajime nodded, paying careful attention to what the saleswoman was telling him. She was nice and soft with her words, as though she had gone through her fair share of nervous boyfriends trying to find the perfect ring. He appreciated the help as much as the next guy, but now that he had done all the research he could and was finally looking in a store, it was as though all of that research was gone from his head.

“So,” she turned to face Hajime, still smiling as sweet as ever. “Is there anything in particular that you’re looking for? Or possibly a style or cut that you know she’s wanting?”

Hajime shrugged, a nervous smile on his face. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure.”

“Well that’s totally fine!” She smiled, walking over to a display of rings. “Lots of people come in not knowing what they’re looking for. However,” she walked behind the display, gesturing to it. “These styles and cuts are the most popular with our customers.”

Hajime nodded, looking over each ring individually. They were all beautiful for sure; some had plain bands, others had designs or diamonds on the sides of the main gem. There were rings that had one big diamond, rings with 2 or 3 small ones, and he could picture (Y/N) each and every one of them. Then he saw the price tags, and his heart dropped.

His gaze went to each and every one, and it was as though he could feel his face get paler as he read over all of them. He and (Y/N) were halfway through their second year in college, and he knew that both of them were in quite a bit of debt as it was. Paying for any one of these rings would probably put them even more into the negative. He couldn’t do that to her.

Then he pictured him calling Oikawa for help and possibly ruining the relationship to the point that she may dump him. He just couldn’t leave the store empty handed.

Hajime cleared his throat to not seem too uncertain or even unstable. He looked up at the woman across the display. “Pardon me for asking, but what are the least expensive rings you have available?”

The woman stared at him for a second, a little shocked that he asked that out of all the possible questions she already had an answer for, but she still did her job with the same kind smile. She walked over to a different display, Hajime following close behind on the other side of the glass cases. “Well, I wouldn’t call them the cheapest diamond rings, of course, but they’re definitely the least in value given the sizes of the diamonds and/or the styles and material of the bands.”

Hajime nodded, once again looking over each of the rings by what they looked like before looking at the prices. He didn’t want to admit it, but he could practically see why these rings were the least expensive. They weren’t as flashy or as big as the most commonly sold; and he knew that (Y/N) had told him time and time again that she didn’t need what most girls wanted, and that what he offered her would always be enough. Five and a half years into the relationship, but he still second guessed himself on that matter.

Hajime blinked a couple times to clear his thoughts, and began to look over the price tags. Once again, he could picture (Y/N) wearing them, but they didn’t seem as perfect as the ones in the first display case. But the price tags were in his range at the moment, and he thanked every god he could that he had been saving up over the last two years.

He then noticed a ring that was practically in the bottom corner of the display, standing at ¥26,443.56, which he knew was extremely cheap for an engagement ring. Of course, it was also the simplest and smallest. The lady behind the counter noticed his eye on it, and gently pulled it out of the case for him to see up close.

“This one is probably the most stereotypical, as it’s a simple 14k white gold band with a 0.25 carat round cut diamond with six prongs holding it. It’s the smallest we have to offer, but it might just be in your price range along with the other rings here.” She smiled and placed the ring back on the cushion on which it was displayed.

Hajime nodded, glancing over at the other display he first saw. The rings he saw in there were more extravagant and and elegant, and he could easily pick any one of them as they all would look beautiful on (Y/N); however, he just couldn’t put the two of them in debt over a ring that he may have to return anyway from not making payments on time. He took a deep breath and looked down at the ring that the woman had taken out of the display case, and smiled.

‘This one is probably the most stereotypical.’

Just like he and (Y/N). This was the ring.

“I’ll go with this one.”

~    ~    ~

Later that evening, Hajime had decided to throw away all suggestions that the internet gave him and go with his gut feeling with proposing: a nice home cooked dinner in the comfort of the apartment they had lived in since they graduated high school, and at the end he’d get down on one knee and ask the fabled question.

(Y/N) been at work all afternoon, and it had been a rough one. Customers go frustrated, coworkers not doing what they were supposed to, her boss “kindly” warning her of some things. It was practically the whole nine yards and all she wanted was for Hajime to hold and comfort her. The moment she opened the door, she almost slammed it closed as she walked inside. She quickly took off her shoes and dropped her bag at the door before heading towards the kitchen where she knew Hajime would be making dinner. The moment she saw him, he was already making his way towards her and immediately took her into his arms.

The moment Hajime heard the door open and slam shut, he knew something was wrong. He turned the stove off and started walking towards the door. He met her half way, his arms around her waist while hers were around his middle. She couldn’t help but tear up finally letting go of all the pent up stress the day had brought upon her.

Part of Hajime didn’t want to bring up the proposal, but part of him also wanted to make her feel better from it. And as the night wore on, he couldn’t help but sway back and forth between each decision. First, he managed to calm her down and make her feel better, but then he shortly forgot about the dinner and almost burnt it. Then, while dinner tasted great, he forgot to finish making the desert and (Y/N) had to help him. While he appreciated the help, he wanted this night to be for her. She deserved so much and no matter what he did, it just didn’t seem to be-

“Hajime.”

He flinched slightly as he felt (Y/N) hug him from behind. He offered to wash the dishes while she got a quick shower, and he didn’t realize how harshly he was scrubbing at a plate until (Y/N) got his attention. He had been so lost in thought all evening, more so all day than anything else, that it was really starting to catch up with him. He sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to bother you with my problems.”

“That’s what couples are supposed to do.” (Y/N) smiled as she got a chuckle out of him. “And then they make you feel better again with distractions or solutions.” She let go of him, walking around to sit on the counter next to the sink. She was dressed in her robe, hair still wet, but she still looked as beautiful as ever in Hajime’s eyes.

“Well you, for sure, are a distraction, my love.” He smiled cheekily, moving to stand in between her legs and hold onto her waist while he kissed her gently. (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, pulling away first.

“Now, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll help you with whatever it is.”

Hajime stared at her for a second before taking a deep breath. “Okay.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the black box that held the ring. He didn’t need to open it as he saw (Y/N)’s eyes widen. She immediately felt herself tear up and held one hand to her mouth. Her eyes stayed trained on the box while his stared at her own. “It’s this that’s been troubling me.

“(Y/N), I’ve been in love with you for over 5 years, and I plan to never stop. We’ve been there for each other through so many pinnacle moments of our lives from when I lost my last high school game to when you finally stood up to your parents about what you were going to do with your life.” Hajime’s breath hitched a little as (Y/N) finally looked up to meet his eye. “I know that we’re going to have both hardships and great times together ahead of us, but as long as I have you getting me through it,” he smiled, starting to tear up. “I know that nothing can get between us.” Then he frowned, glancing down at the box himself.

“However, I know that I can’t always offer you the best that the world has to offer. Whether it be the house we stay in, the work lives we have, or even this ring.” He opened the box, starting to feel a small wave of embarrassment. “I’m always afraid that who I am and what I have to offer may never be enough for you someday, but damn it I will always try to be.”

Hajime paused, feeling that if he went on any longer that he’d bore her or she’d make him stop. Instead, he took a deep breath and removed the ring from it’s box. “I know that it’s not a whole carat or fancy looking, but it’s all that I could afford, and I hope that you’ll accept it and me for the rest of your life.” He smiled, seeing as (Y/N) was doing the same despite the tears starting to fall. “So, (Y/N) (L/N), will you marry me?”

(Y/N) let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding at first, and grinned wide. “Yes.” She nodded, pulling him in for a kiss. This time, it was Hajime who broke it first, sliding the ring onto her finger. She whispered.

“No matter if you're rich, poor, can give me nothing, or give me something, I will always love you Hajime Iwaizumi. And I will never trade you for someone else no matter what they do to try and persuade me.”

Hajime couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he leaned in close and kissed her again. “I’ll always love you, too, (Y/N) Iwaizumi.”

(Y/N) laughed softly, playing with the hairs on the back of his head as her hands rested there. “Oh, so it’s already decided that I’m taking your last name?”

He laughed as well. “I mean can you blame me? I don’t think Hajime (R/N) really fits. Unless you really think that the Iwaizumi name isn’t enough for you.” He smirked, enjoying how he got her laugh so hard at that.

“While I’d greatly agree for the sake of messing with you, it actually sounds perfect.” She smiled, eyes never leaving his. “As long as it’s from you, it’s enough.”

#iwaizumi x reader #Iwaizumi Hajime #hajime iwaizumi #hajime x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi scenarios #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime imagine #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hc #seijoh #Aoba Johsai #seijoh third years #aoba johsai third years #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq headcanons #hq hc #my post #my work #My writing

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 61 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 164 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

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RATE THE EPISODE 142 Responses

Episode 61 received even better reception than episode 60 did for anime only viewers, with all votes leaning 3-5 on the rating scale, none of our respondents seemed let down by the episode! 

AMAZING!! not action heavy this time, but the information i gained  was a big insight on what’s to come! lots of things are gonna go down and i’m s c a r e d. ready for next sunday 😈🔥

It was fire 

I really loved this episode, better than the last episode. Animation quality was on par with movie quality. MAPPA is giving us their best, ALL HAIL MAPPA.

1 word. Awesome

I love the pacing on this episode and the small details in it. 

Give me more!!!

bruh

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE SCENE/MOMENT? 142 Responses

Reiner monologuing about the 104th at the dinner table took front and center seat this week with 43% of viewers favoring this scene the most. Trailing behind, 16.9% enjoyed the scene where Reiner meets up with the Warrior Cadets, and 9.9% enjoyed seeing the human forms of the Cart and Jaw titans for the first time.

WE FORGOT TO ASK LAST WEEK D: WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES/MOMENTS FROM EPISODE 60 WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 142 Responses

Last week, the highest percentage of people (at 30.3%) enjoyed Reiner’s, “I’m sick and tired… of walls.” 19% favored the scene of Zeke’s scream turning Eldians into titans. 17.6% were most hyped up over Reiner and Galliard wrecking Fort Slava.

MAPPA WENT ALL OUT WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IN THIS EPISODE. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE CINEMATIC PANS AND ROTOSCOPE ANIMATION? 142 Responses

Overall, 75.4% of the total vote went in favor of the animation this week, with 33.8% of viewers stating they felt as though they were watching a movie, 32.4% enjoying the fluidity, and 9.2% enjoying the upgrade from the stiffer animation in the previous season. 10.6% felt the rotoscoping and cinematic shots were a little too over the top for an anime, and 10.6% are indifferent. A small handful aren’t enjoying the cinematic animation at all. 

Hated the rotoscope, loved everything else.

It was a bit off-putting at first but I've grown to really like it

it was different but i liked it! it was cool. reminded me of some anime movies i’ve seen, though unique in it own sense

Thought it was great and fluid just at some points like the scene with udo on the docks felt a bit choppy.

Beautiful work, it honestly felt like I was watching a movie. From cinematography to shot framing to the animation. A dialogue heavy episode felt exciting, which is amazing.

I really liked the animation

The animation is so glowy

NOW THAT WE’VE GOTTEN TO HEAR A LITTLE MORE OF THE NEW OST TRACKS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK SO FAR THIS SEASON? 142 Responses

People are overall enjoying the new music so far, with 41.5% feeling it really compliments the change in atmosphere and 35.9% REALLY enjoying the songs and finding their usage very good. 9.9% feel they’re just ok while 7.7% miss the music being composed solely by Sawano. A smaller handful aren’t enjoying the new music.

They DEFINITELY bring the right vibes lol. again, different, but i like it!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CLOSEUP OF ZEKE’S MOUTH? 141 Responses

In our first of a series of unnecessary crack questions, 31.9% find Zeke’s mouth closeup to have been pretty cool animation. 24.8% are very concerned about Zeke’s treatment of his lungs (do shifters get lung damage?). 20.6% didn’t care about Zeke’s mouth at aoo, while 14.2% would welcome a smooch from him. A handful of people just think it’s gross, lol.

Fucking hate zeke smh 🙄

He smokin a spliffy 😂 not no ciggy 

what chapstick using??lmao.  it was a cool scene

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION ABOUT ELDIAN ASSES? 140 Responses

Eldian asses didn’t turn out to be too controversial, with the majority (42.1%) just wanting to know the details of Zeke’s secret ass wiping technique. 10.7% just think Eldian asses are neat, and another 10% are more enthusiastic about some nice Eldian asses. 25.7% are confused about the question’s inclusion, and 11.4% don’t understand why this was asked at all.

DO YOU WANT REINER TO GIVE YOU A HEAD PAT? 140 Responses

In a close race, 42.1% of respondents would be thrilled to get a nice head pat from Reiner! 41.4% apparently don’t, and just wanna know what the heck the pollsters are smoking while writing up these questions. 11.4% do NOT want Reiner head pats. :(

ZEKE SEEMS TO BE KEEPING HIS ROYAL LINEAGE A SECRET FROM MARLEY DESPITE HIS LOYALTY TO THEM. ANY IDEAS WHY YOU THINK HE IS? 139 Responses

Zeke, the “wonderboy” (as General Calvi puts it) who sold out his own parents, has never been doubted by Marley in terms of his loyalty. Yet, for some reason he seems to be keeping his royal bloodline a secret from them. When we asked why that is, over half of respondents (56.1%) state that they are suspicious of Zeke and his real motives, believing that he is plotting something under Marley’s nose. 25.2% feel that he doesn’t want them to know he’s royal so that they can’t abuse his power, and 12.9% think he simply doesn’t let them know so that they won’t kill him. 

I forgot he was royal 

maybe they will force him to continue the bloodline through children, or maybe he will get used or killed

Well if they dont know hes got a hereditary advantage over both his predeccesors and succesors, he'll always be recognised as the best beast titan and heaps better than my boy Colt.

WE LEARNED IN THIS EPISODE THAT FALCO’S LAST NAME IS “GRICE.” DO YOU THINK THIS WILL HOLD ANY SIGNIFICANCE? 139 Responses

32.4% of respondents don’t remember anyone named Grice. To recap, “Grice” is the name of the person who recruited Grisha Yeager into the Restorationist group, and is the one who was kicked off the wall for the restorationist titans to chase after once they were transformed by Marley. For those that did remember this seemingly random person, 52.2% feel that this relation will be brought up again and have importance to the story, and 12.9% feel it doesn’t really mean anything other than being a neat little detail. 

I feel like you asking this implies that there’s something to it

Not sure yet. But, Falco and Colt seem to be really caring and aware of how the Marlyeans treat Marly-Eldians (at least compared to the other warrior candidates). Also, when we saw their parents they seemed kind too, showing lots of concern for Colt. Maybe they learnt what the former restorationist/other Grice was doing and his cause of death and sent their kids to the warrior program for the same reason Grisha and Dina did Zeke? My bet is Colt & Falco are the restorationist Grice's nephews?

YOUR REACTION TO THE CART TITAN BEING A CUTE WOMAN? 140 Responses

Pieck deserves a colorful pie chart, and she got one! 25.7% say she’s best girl, 22.9% think she’s utterly adorable. 13.6% of viewers already knew about Pieck before getting to this point and were unsurprised. At a tie, 11.4% of voters think that it’s amazing, or they were shocked to find out that the quadrupedal nightmare titan is really just a short, cute woman.

I worked it out last episode since the armbands appeared to indicate the 'type/status' of Eldians, but I was a bit surprised last episode I thought from the trailer the red bands may be special lineages i.e. Ackerman, Oriental clan, and Riess/Fritz. Still think she may be from the oriental clan though since the only characters we've seen with a similar appearance to her are Mikasa and her mother.  

she kinda shawty 👀 but she looks scary too

WE WERE FORMALLY INTRODUCED TO MORE CHARACTERS THIS WEEK, SO WE WILL ASK AGAIN… WHICH NEW CHARACTER IS YOUR FAVORITE SO FAR? 143 Responses

Last week, Falco was the most favored of the new cast with only 40% of the vote. This week, he shoots up over 10 percentage points, with 50.3% of viewers feeling the most positively toward him. Pieck comes in second with 17.5% of the vote, and Gabi is hanging on with just 12.6% of the vote. Colt and Galliard are trailing just a little bit more behind them. 

Gabi best girl

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE FATE OF YMIR? 144 Responses

While we did get teased about Ymir’s fate in Season 3, seeing the scene in full can definitely have more of an impact. 37.5% of respondents have accepted the notion of Ymir dying, and feel that it was a decent end for her character, all things considered. 22.9% are in complete and total anguish over her fate, and 20.1% are simply just disappointed and had hoped to see more of her. A very small percentage think that this is actually a red herring, and that Ymir is somehow still alive somewhere.

Already saw this in season 3

Appropriately grim and realistic given what lengths Marley will go to in order to protect themselves 

I am in so much pain please euthanize me that’s my wife

i didn’t really like her anyway so it’s fine(but it was still a bit sad) 

Kinda hate crimey considering shes the only OUT (@jean) charcter. Nah jk. Like wasnt shocked tho coz we saw Galliard last ep

Let's fucking GOOOOOO

Galliard will NEVER replace Ymir, I already hate his bitch ass

So Galliard really is a replacement scrappy eh? I already hate him JUST for that.

TURNS OUT THAT GALLIARD IS MARCEL’S BROTHER. DO YOU THINK THIS WILL BE SIGNIFICANT? 143 Responses

Over half of respondents (52.4%) believe that Galliard’s relation to Marcel will have significance at some point. 32.9% think that it might, but don’t want to say either way. A small percentage feel it’s just a detail that won’t matter. 12.6% have completely forgotten who Marcel is (to refresh your memory, Ymir ate him before RBA attacked the walls).

DO YOU THINK THE MAN WEARING THE ARMBAND INCORRECTLY WILL BE IMPORTANT? 144 Responses

At 73.6%, the majority of viewers are eyeing the random amputee soldier who Falco briefly helped out, believing that he will be important in some manner moving forward. 13.9% believe that it’s just a random soldier, and the scene maybe meant more in terms of showing Falco’s kindness. 12.5% aren’t sure what to make of the amputee soldier at all.

LAST WEEK, WHEN ASKED WHO WILL INHERIT THE ARMORED TITAN, THE MAJORITY PICKED FALCO. AFTER THIS EPISODE, WHO DO YOU THINK WILL INHERIT THE ARMORED TITAN NOW? 143 Responses

Falco is still the most favored to inherit the Armored Titan from Reiner with the percentage of people believing he will jumping from 37.6% to 48.3%. 21.7% are still confident that Gabi will ultimately be the one who gets to eat Reiner. 28.7% believe that neither of them will inherit Reiner’s titan at all.

DO YOU THINK THAT REINER REALLY BELIEVES THE PARADISIANS ARE DEVILS? 143 Responses

The overwhelming majority of respondents don’t believe that Reiner really means what he says when he calls the Paradisians “savage, heartless devils.” Only a small percentage feel he does really means what he says, and a handful of others aren’t sure.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT REINER WITH WHAT WE’VE SEEN IN THIS ARC SO FAR? 143 Responses

The majority of viewers feel very positively about Reiner and are enjoying seeing more of him, with 46.2% stating that Reiner is really starting to grow on them, while 26.6% already liked Reiner from the start. 18.2% are beginning to feel more empathy for Reiner, although they still aren’t huge fans, and a smaller percentage don’t like him and haven’t been swayed by the narrative as of yet. 

Always seemed like there was lots to him, enjoying the furthered development into his psyche :) 

he’s so hot omg. i feel so terrible cause he’s clearly suffering from ptsd and his disorder too. he seems torn. i do like how he is playing a major role so far. 

I’m in love with Reiner and always have been

Meh

Reiner became 1000% hotter after his life fell apart

REINER AND GABI ARE REVEALED TO BE COUSINS. THOUGHTS? 142 Responses

36.6% of respondents were genuinely shocked to learn that Gabi and Reiner are cousins. 21.8% feel more invested in Gabi’s character arc after knowing this information. 19% were already spoiled on this, and 15.5% don’t really care about it at all. 

Kinda thought she wanted to fuck her cousin lmao

Makes me horrified how casually they talk abt eating Reiner

They had the same last name so I figured they must have had some relation.

Yee haw

GABI QUESTIONS REINER AFTER HE TALKED ABOUT THE 104TH, ASKING IF PEOPLE ON PARADIS WERE ALL BAD. DO YOU THINK SHE CAN OVERCOME HER BRAINWASHING TO SEE THAT PARADISIANS AREN’T EVIL? 143 Responses

The majority think that there is a possibility for Gabi to see things from a new perspective over time. 40.6% aren’t completely sold on it yet, but also believe that it’s within the realm of possibility. 32.9% are very confident that this is the direction her story arc is going to take, and 26.6% think that nothing will be able to undo years of brainwashing for her.

THE TYBURS ARE SAID TO BE AN AFFLUENT FAMILY THAT HOLDS THE WARHAMMER TITAN, BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED IN ANY CONFLICT. WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO GET INVOLVED NOW? 139 Responses

While we still don’t know much about the Tybur family, we thought we’d check in and see what preconceived notions viewers may already have about them. 27.3% believe the Tybur family feel the same as Marley and see Paradis as a threat. 30.2% think that the only reason they’d want to get involved in the conflict is if they get something about it. 41.7% think that the Tyburs are super sus and ultimately will have their own agenda for attacking Paradis. 

They got the good life already, why battle?

WITH AN ATTACK ON PARADIS BEING IMMINENT, HOW DO YOU THINK REINER WILL REACT WHEN HE RETURNS TO THE ISLAND? 139 Responses

We’ve seen Reiner struggle over the weight of his sins in previous seasons, with Ymir even pointing out that he has developed a type of “split personality” to cope with the horror he forced onto the people of Paradis. With the prospect of returning to the island, we asked how you think Reiner will handle the situation. With the highest percentage, 32.4% of respondents feel that Reiner’s mental state will make him completely ineffective if he returns to Paradis. 28.8% think he may even completely switch back to his “soldier persona” once he faces his former comrades again. 26.6% believe that he will keep himself together and stay focused on the mission handed to him. 9.4% think he will find a way to avoid going back altogether. 

Honestly, don't know.

I wouldnt say ineffective, probably just ina daze of sorts. Like hes not fully in the moment.

Idk if he is even gonna go

Not Sure

I hope my boi Reiner makes it through!

REINER FLASHBACKS NEXT WEEK! ARE YOU EXCITED TO FINALLY GET THE WARRIORS’ BACKSTORY? 142 Responses

The vast majority are happy to be finally getting the Warriors’ backstory in the next episode, with 69% feeling overwhelmed with excitement about it, and 19.7% just happy to finally be getting to this point. A smaller percentage don’t really care about learning their backstory and a handful of people are actually dreading it. 

I loved the baby warrior flashback and can’t wait for next week.

ON A SCALE OF REINER TO ZEKE, HOW EAGER ARE YOU TO GET BACK TO PARADIS? 141 Responses

While there is a handful of people who are enjoying the new perspective and getting to know these new characters in Marley, the majority of viewers are (unsurprisingly) eager to see what’s going on with the original cast after the 4 year time skip and the cliffhanger at the ocean in season 3. A message from manga readers: we know your pain, just hang in there!

This arc isn't really doing it for me. The story is only interesting when it focused on the 104th.

If their goal is to make me sympathize with the Warriors it ain't working, I frankly don't give a crap about their sob stories and want to see Eren and friends wreck shit for them

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Animation and graphics quality is amazing. The sea was CGI too which feels a bit too detailed compared to other things. The plot and vibe is amazing. I like the WW2 style of things. There are so many interactions coming just the thought makes me hyped up. I can easily rewatch it and notice new details and i enjoy it too. Feels really packed and intense.

Solid, loved the animation props to MAPPA, cant wait to see Reiner's character development.

Kinda just people walking around with HELLA ptsd.  Overall kinda vibey Very reminiscent of seas 3 part 1. I will say kinda tgf about these knew kids accept Colt, just wanna see the ogs and Jeans side part. I also HATE Reiner but.........dare I say.....he's growing in me???? Not gabi tho 

Great episode, the trailer's beginning to make a lot more sense now. I didn't expect that guy with the long blonde hair declaring Eren as the enemy (from the trailer) to be part of the Tybur family (maybe I'm wrong here but he looked identical to one of the Tybur family members in the photo Zeke showed.) I assumed he was maybe the Marley leader haha. I think he may be the warhammer titan but it's hard to tell at this point. Regarding the Tybur family, another curious thing is how they are celebrated internationally not just domestically for their help during the great titan war. I am curious whether Marley only treat the Tybur family well because if they didn't that would create issues globally? It seems like the Tybur's have lots of power. But, I wonder if the war hammer titan will be a letdown... I thought it would be the 'big boss' of the titans but after learning that titan doesn't go through training like the other titan shifters and never fought I feel like it's a 50/50 on whether the shifter will be strong or not... I also feel like the guy Falco spoke to was Eren, and this could hint at Eren noticing and possibly trying to indoctrinate Falco? and he was possibly watching Reiner talk to the kids? That was probably Pieck though. Curious how Pieck's father was shown but not mother, he also didn't look like he was from the oriental clan maybe we have another Mikasa on our hands (half Ackerman/Oriental clan) that would be cool, maybe a little bit fanservicey tho.

I like that the focus is on world building right now

I’m just so excited to see what’s coming next

It was friggin awesome but I’m curious on who fell off the roof 🤔

Who is the guy who jumped and died ? :(

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 138 Responses

Thank you again for participating! We’ll see you again next week!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk s4 #snk spoilers

[elamikaaa]

Plot Twist

Now, I haven’t had any professional vocal lessons at all for the eighteen years I have lived, but since I started singing at the tender age of four, I think it’s safe to say that I’m somewhat a singer. I lack a lot in technique, sure, but I think I sound somewhat decent, at least. 

 As a singer, it is best that you really pour out the emotions that the song is trying to convey. It is as if you are the messenger trying to communicate an intricately crafted message to whoever is listening to you. Every word in every verse, hook, chorus or bridge, every single chord progression, every single note, pause, the speeding up and the slowing pace of the beat, the transpositions... every single component of a song was carefully put in there to construct an overall message that you as a singer have to relay. So, it is very important that you really mean what you sing for you to do so. Knowing whatever the song is trying to express alone simply is not enough for a singer to capture the essence of a song. The moment you are unable to feel, the more you’ll deviate from whatever the song is trying to convey. This, in my honest opinion, is what makes someone fail as a singer, or as an artist in general. After all, all modes of art are forms of expression. 

 One of my favourite artists, NIKI, released her first album, Moonchild, 3 days ago. Me being the fan that I am, I checked it out on SoundCloud as soon as I could. I listened for every single track in order (except for the songs that she already released prior, such as Switchblade, Selene and Lose). I have not finished listening to the whole album yet — I haven’t listened to Drive On — because there’s this one song in the album that really caught my attention: Plot Twist. 

 Plot Twist really encapsulates the unexpected blossoming of a newfound love. The moment I hit play on SoundCloud, my eardrums were smacked lovingly with what sounded like utopia in its melodic form. Maybe it is because of my current predicament, but this song, from the lyrics to the dreamy instrumentals, perfectly epitomised how someone can either enter as, or develop into, a pleasant surprise in another’s life. Honestly, this song really hit home. As soon as I listened to it, I thought of one person and I can think of only them whenever this song comes to mind. 

 I could go on a whole analysis and a breakdown of key parts of the song but honestly, the lyrics are self-explanatory. There is really nothing for me to elaborate on. All I really can say is that it is the first verse that makes me think of him the most. when I was really contemplating ‘closing the book’, there he was, ‘in every nook’, making me want to continue reading to see if the ending will be different this time around. I had just gone through the biggest heartbreak I had experienced with my best-friend who I had a crush on for two years, and he was among the many who supported me through it all. Little did I know that he’d be my next heartbreak... oh well.  

 Not every single part of the song is representative of what once was between us, if I can even call it that, anyway. It was not 'always gonna be [him] and I’, nor did I really think that something was ever really going to come into fruition. He felt like a ‘brand new arc’ but not exactly one that I ‘never knew’ the outcome of. He was definitely different, but in a way, he’s similar because he, like the others, was also a very good friend who never got to fully reciprocate my feelings (I know, looks like I have a preference for best-friends, huh). To add onto that, he ended up moving on very quickly with someone else after many months of us developing a relationship together — not necessarily a romantic one, but just a strong bond. It is okay that he did not reciprocate. That is not what I have an issue with. It is how he moved on to her straight away, but I will not go into detail about that here. That has been the topic of every single other piece I have ever written, so I think I have harped about that enough.

Anyway, it was very painful, and although I am grateful for the lessons my experience with him has taught and revisited, I am not exactly thankful for ‘plot twists’ like him. Despite the euphoria he made me feel, which the song captured, I feel more regret about him than anything, really. 

 I love singing NIKI’s songs; more specifically, her more melancholic songs: Lose, Around, and my all-time favourite, La La Lost You. I feel more of a connection to these songs because, well, they are all about heartbreak. One perk of being extremely sensitive is that I can sing these sad love songs just fine simply because I can really feel it all. I can feel the resignation in the ending of Lose when she sings, “I don’t need a reason to keep on dreaming, that I can win this stupid thing called love.” In Around, when she sings, “I miss you though you’re cold,” I immediately think of the day he ignored my messages and started talking to me in an uncharacteristically stern manner. Though I was anxious, I still missed him very much and wanted to talk to him even if every single inch of my body screamed at me that he did not want me around anymore. La La Lost You, from how I am perceiving it, shows a person’s divergence from someone they loved dearly. “Hope New York holds you, hope it holds you like I do” in the second verse of the chorus is the line that made me cry the hardest when I first listened to it, because it very much resembled how much I love him and how much I’ll always love him despite how terrible our ending was. Even after everything, even if it were justified for me to be petty and upset, I could not; I can only wish the best for him. I really meant it when I concluded my final texts to him at the time with, ‘Hope you’re doing well’ and ‘Wish you all the best’, or something along the lines of those — I don’t have the best memory so I can’t give an exact recall, but you get the gist. In saying this, I hope whoever is reading this knows the distinction between having love for someone and being in love with someone. I am not in love with him anymore, just to clarify. However, he still does have a spot in my heart, and I will forever wish him all the best. I will be here for him, should he need me and if I am able to be there for him. He called me a couple of months ago and talked so we are in better terms now. Not as close as we once were (I think that is the best measure to take, to be honest), but better terms, nonetheless. I must admit, there are some things I still want to ask and get clarity for, but I do not think I’ll get the chance anytime soon, so I’ll leave it be. 

Point is, only NIKI’s melancholic melodies have hit me to the point where I can execute their messages adequately enough when I sing. To add to that, I just love singing her songs in general anyways, they are quite close to my vocal range. 

 Listening to Plot Twist, however, struck a different chord in me. As much as I love the song, and as much as I relate to many parts of it, I do not think I can ever sing this song. In the grand scheme of things, that is okay. There are many more tunes of solemnity that I can sing instead. But Plot Twist was very bittersweet. Probably the most bittersweet song I have ever listened to. I know it is only bittersweet because of what I associate the song with, but still… damn. NIKI really got me good with this one. 

 Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if I would be able to really relate to this song in another life. Not in the bittersweet way that I do right now, but in a way that I am only reminded of a serendipitous encounter. Should I love again in this life (I know I sound naïve but really, please get love away from me thank you) then this song is for them since now, I really am ‘closing the book’. But should anyone draw my attention enough to make me ‘stay and wait’ and give me the happy ending I have never had, then I can finally say that I can feel this song in its entirety. Only then can I sing this song and narrate its beautiful story. 

  In this life, however, I will just have to stick to humming along to the lyrics on SoundCloud behind closed doors. 

[cosmictulips]

Good time, it's very nice to know you exist 🍵🛶🏰🪔🍯🍯🍯 I'm 18, T, libra sun, leo moon, cap ris. if u could help, that'd be a big thank you

recently I've been feeling kinda shut off from any type of spirituality, universe, can't trust my own mind because i don't want to make things up and go with a lie, not imagination play - a terrible lie to oneself. so, i can only trust others. been asking for a clear sign that i wouldn't doubt for as long as i can remember, and nothing... am i tryna knock on the door that wasn't meant for me? then i don't understand anything. i feel left out of my own life. i try pulling out any advice, but then, my intuition may be just wishful thinking. nothing i ever do comes as i intend. I've let go of logic, of expectations, but it feels like a one way communication. can't remember dreams. locked out of everything and losing hope. i don't think it's a wall i made. i don't want to make up a voice in my head, it is my biggest fear, i want to actually hear one.

so, one question - why am i being unanswered?

pun unintended

thank you in advance, you're very kind.

have a wonderful weekend, and every weekend some good news

Hey Friend =) I truly hope other people see this ask too because I think your ask is very important.  so I hope you don’t mind that I kind of get personal with you.  Truth be told,  I’ve been feeling the exact same way recently.  it’s happened when I was first starting out with the Craft -as I like to call it -  and it happens from time to time.  even now.  these past two weeks have been a wreck for me and it really feels like I haven’t been heard by the universe.  No, not heard.  I’ve been heard.  but to me, it feels like I’ve been deemed unworthy.   

And especially with divination,  reading for myself has always been wrong.  which is why I no longer trust reading for myself.  and I don’t particularly trust it when people say they read for themselves. because too me, how do you know you’re not lying to yourself? I always, always tell people to be careful because the universe can and WILL tell you what you want to hear.  it’s hard approaching divination with a very unbiased, neutral head.  and it’s kind of why I’ve fought some people over their readings.  people only ever project to others and to the univeres what they want. so if I or you were to tell them otherwise, it’s wrong. 

So you’re right to take a step back if it doesn’t feel right to you.  and here’s where I’m going to start contradicting myself a little bit here.  You need to start trusting yourself.  fully, undoubtedly and ruthlessly.  trust yourself so much that people almost think you’re full of arrogance.  and that’s the key word, almost. Be open minded enough to new ideas and to change the way you think of things.  but always, always trust yourself to know what is best for you. Only YOU are going to know the best route to take for yourself. 

I started being answered when I started trusting the guidance that was coming in for me.  I started to notice the little signs at first.  Notice any repeating numbers?  colors?  any certain phrases you hear too often? read too often?  is there an animal or group of animals that tend to show up at odd places?  slowly start to take notice of these things.   Also,  truly dig deep into what you believe in.  if you want to get into spirituality,  ask yourself why. what is it that you believe that matches that.   I got into it because I felt so alone in a church and no one was listening.  and for awhile, I was thrown in circles the minute I opened myself up to the universe.  but instead of blocking it out,  I kept pushing.  I kept trying to see the pattern, and I kept trying to change it. 

and that could be what’s happening for you.  I know you said that you think it’s not a wall you built. but darling, it is.   I think it comes from a fear you’re not ready to recognize yet.   it could be the fear of the unknown, it could be a fear of failure,  but you’ve built a wall.  

Spirituality is made for everyone.   It’s okay to have blocks,  to doubt your abilities and be unsure of whether or not the universe actually hears you.  the universe brought you to me.  so obviously it hears you.  =) 

but you cannot hear it and I think that’s what needs to change.  

So let me give you some advice on what I do when I begin to feel these blocks. like I have been recently. 

1. I pray to my gods.  you don’t have to be into worshiping gods.  you can simply pray to the universe like I did and still do from time to time.  You’ll know it’s listening when you feel the warmth of the sun, and the gentle breeze of the wind.  perhaps you’ll see an animal or two ;) my sister is a good example of this, she sees dogs everywhere when she’s looking for a sign from the universe lol.  2. I turn to divination.  My readings for myself may not be true but it’s good practice.  I also turn to other forms to try to grow in those skills as well.  Runes, bindrunes, automatic writing,  etc there’s SO MANY divination techniques.  tarot may not be your thing but scrying might be.  look around and see what fits.

3. I play hertz music.  I find that music really helps me out lol.  hertz is juts frequency waves set to a certain wave length so parts of ... our... ... so like our energy can pick up on it.  there’s a better explanation for it but for me, it really helps lol  4. I keep pushing.  even when it feels like I’m not being answered, and sometimes you won’t be answered. that’s the thing.  the universe wants you to better yourself. and to grow.  and sometimes that means trusting yourself to know where to go because it won’t give you an answer.  be brave, and go forward. 

I’ll go more into what I want you to do, but let me pull out your cards first so you finally have a reading lolol.  

So for you I pulled the Lovers, Strength, The Sun and the Knight of Pentacles. with the Ace of Cups as the overall energy. 

so it’s really what I’ve been saying lol.  The knight of pentacles here is telling me to move slowly.  it’s okay that things don’t make sense to you right off the bat.  Patience is a virtue here.   Going into your craft, your practice,  it’s okay to question things.  spirituality is a lot different than most religions so coming from a different place and settling into a new one can be tough.  it requires a lot of change.  and that tends to scare some people.  Ya know?  we’re all so used to hearing different things -mostly bad-  about sprituality and how it’s all “fake”  but darling,  dipping your toes in and slowly breaking the surface is how everyone starts out.  Once you get comfortable with the idea and with your own intuition the fun will begin. 

Next you have the Lovers, Strength and the Sun.  This is telling me you need to let yourself love.  bring courage and strength into this.  It’s going to take you loving yourself,  being confident in yourself and going forth even if it seems fake.  does that make sense?  You might have a mental illness. I’ve got some strong anxiety that borders on paranoia.   Okay,  but in my heart of hearts I knew this was the call for me because I’ve seen too much shit to not believe spirituality wasn’t my path.  so I forced myself to be more confident in my abilities.  I forced myself to be open to the universe even if it felt like I was talking to a wall.  I forced myself to sit down and learn divination and kept a dream journal even if most nights there was nothing but darkness.

and you need to bring that to yourself.  if you are serious about this,  learn to open yourself to the universe.  In the beginning I had to lie to myself.  it’s just what it is.  but the more I connected to the universe,  and the more I began to trust my intuition,  the more the lying ceased to happen.  because suddenly it was true.  suddenly those signs told me I was on the right path.  and suddenly everything I was studying made sense.  given time it will make sense for you as well. 

People, including me,  are telling you what you already know.  You just don’t trust yourself to hold onto those words.  you don’t trust yourself enough to put that same love into you and out into the universe.  and maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt.  being vulnerable to the universe does mean that sometimes we go through rough patches.  we have to break old cycles for new ones to begin. but much like the Lovers,  once you make that choice to love and be loved,  you will shine. 

The ace of cups tells me there is something new coming for you.  but you have to choose to let it happen okay?  you have to stop thinking you’re not good enough and that you’re not being heard.  because you are... because you’re here talking to me ;)   the universe wouldn’t have sent you to me if that wasn’t the case.  and I think a part of you knows that. 

so here’s what I want you to do.  Take the first steps.  Start keeping a dream journal.  the only way we as humans can recall our dreams is if we’re actively thinking of them when we first wake up.  that means no media ;)  lay there and think about what you dreamed.  Like last night I had a dream I set the house on fire and was crying that I lost a textbook.  idk, it was weird lol.  dreams don’t have to make sense.   write them down.  keep a glass of water by your bed. for some reason it helps. 

If you’re gonna sit there and tell me but you’ve tried everything, try again ;) try it from a new perspective.  instead of going in all “this is going to fail”  think of it as “this has already worked once and I’m doing it again to better myself”  

let your confidence shine.  I had to lie to myself everyday until I finally believed I was a decent human being.  I still struggle with it but damn have I gotten noticed by more people who tell me that I literally shine like the sun.  people notice your changes.  some of us just won’t say it ;) that being said, be prepared to fight for your beliefs. 

Learn what your beliefs are. Learn to defend them.  because the universe does not take this journey lightly.  the minute you start to doubt that you’re ever made for this, is going to be the second it closes on you until you force yourself to try again.  much like how we’re both in this spot now ;) trust and KNOW that the universe wants what is best for you.  

Tap into your higher self and your shadow self.  work on what needs to be healed and what your higher self wants for you to do.  this could literally be anything from getting therapy, to doing art, to listening to music, to talking to people who have hurt you.  like it’s endless but it helps.  

Lastly,  understand that these things take time.  You have some major energy wanting to work with you.  you need to start trusting yourself more, and letting down that wall. you built it, you can destroy it.  

I don’t hear a voice telling me which way to go.  I get feelings.  very strong ones.  that I’ve had to learn are different from my anxiety.  In the beginning that meant I had to pretend to ignore the feeling to see what the reaction would be.  when something happened and I knew it was going to happen,  I knew what I had felt was my intuition. 

Learn to recognize what is your instinct and what is your intuition. my instinct is that my hands get a little shaky and I can’t stop moving around.  my intuition keeps me still.  it’s quick and alert.  for you it could be something different.  you might actually hear a voice.  

I’m willing to work with you if you want me to.  I’ve been in that exact same situation and form time to time I feel the same way.  it’s never about the destination, it’s always the journey.

You’ve got this.  You know you do.  break down the wall,  and come join us ;) I hope this helps sorry for the long.... long post lmao If you ever need anything, please reach out =) 

#free tarot reading #tarot reading

[asocier]

( private verse ) handler and hound – two.

          “take a seat.”

          “this isn’t about the broken window, is it?”

          “what broken window?”

          “nevermind -- why am i here?” 

          it seems as though the window that was unintentionally ( re: intentionally ) destroyed by alison’s hound during a mission was a conversation that could be saved for another day. that was in it of itself a relief, but now she was even less prepared for what was to come. if this conversation wasn’t about that window, what was it about? 

          eyebrows furrowed as she crossed the familiar room to take the chair that was in front of her supervisor’s desk, alison scooting up closer to the tabletop before shifting her gaze to study the other. nothing odd stood out to her -- the call to his office seemed to have been out of the blue, however, so she couldn’t imagine what was on the agenda for their meeting. 

          “how’s everything with your hound?” the question cut through the silence that was settling in the room. it was asked with such casualness that it sounded like something a colleague of hers would have asked during a break. “everything’s fine. why? did something come up?” 

          “no. it’s just routine to check in with handlers now and then, that’s all. i suspected that things were going well -- you two seem to be getting along much better than his previous handlers.”  

          “we had a rough start, but i think we’re in a good spot now.”

          “and you were so adamant in refusing a hound.” and he chuckled as he recalled that interaction, her supervisor letting his hands clasp together loosely as they rested on the wooden top of the desk. that conversation was one alison remembered clearly, as well. with no say in the matter, she remembered feeling quite indignant, which was only exacerbated upon meeting eden for the first time. with an attitude like his, it was difficult not to be irritated -- but that was a hurdle she had managed to get over as time went on.

          “yes, well -- it’s fortunate that we found common ground and got along in the end.” fortunate indeed, for soma as a whole. she could certainly understand why he was considered valuable enough to keep despite his behavioral issues with previous handlers. what a waste it’d be if he were to be let go of. or worse -- disposed of. but that wasn’t something she’d ever let happen.

          “is this all you wanted to talk to me about? you could have just called my office or sent me an email.” the playful humor in alison’s remark was not lost on her supervisor, who chuckled again as he took hold of his keys and unlocked a drawer in his file cabinet. “i wouldn’t waste your time like that -- there’s an important matter i wanted to discuss with you in person.” 

          again, her expression revealed her confusion as a file was presented to her, and as she eyed the name that was printed on the tab of the folder, it soon occurred to her why this situation felt so familiar to her. amarante, c., it read, and eyes soon narrowed.

          "please tell me this is part of a mission.”

          “hm, it’s not your typical mission. think of it more as a personal mission. to help out the department.” 

          “i don’t follow.” 

          “why don’t you start by telling me your first impressions?” his invitation was accompanied by a gesture towards the folder, and he sat back in his seat as he waited for alison to read through its contents, which she did with a fair amount of caution. she wasn’t quite sure what she was supposed to look for exactly, which details he wanted her to pay close attention to, but as she examined the file, a few things easily stood out to her. 

          claire amarante, january 14th, 5′10″, hound. currently assigned to communications under the supervision of lenard [ redacted ]. strong fighting skills. specializes in offensive hand-to-hand combat, however evaluations show unpredictability in defensive skills. medical records indicate a history of treatment for injuries as a result of reckless offensive attacks, however, no severe injuries are on record. training staff notes competitive tendencies, which are most evident when interacting with other hounds.

          and she continued to peruse the documents in the file before taking the time to study the picture that accompanied the folder’s contents. a female hound -- not necessarily a rarity, but in a workplace that was so heavily dominated by men, alison couldn’t help but have a soft spot for her. a hound too, no less. even if she wasn’t in the field as often as alison and eden, being a hound was a risky profession. with a sigh, alison finally closed the folder and let it rest back on the table. 

          “she’s a strong fighter. seems to have her own style and technique, which i can admire, but being assigned to communications probably limits her to a more assistive role during missions considering her handler is based in that department. overall, she seems like a decent hound. no behavioral issues, no history of handler changes.” very different from her own hound’s file, honestly. 

          “so would you say she’s a good hound?” 

          “i’d say so. it seems like she can be a bit aggressive when provoked, but i think that goes for a lot of us here at soma.”

         “fair enough. what would you say then if i told you we’re considering a temporary department change for her? would you say she’d fair well on field missions?”

          “that’s -- kind of a strange question to ask me since you should know whether or not she’s qualified. but yes, i personally think she’d be able to pull her own weight and contribute to missions. if she had the right handler, i think she’d fair very well, especially if her technique was developed a bit more. she seems to have a good head on her shoulders -- so long as she doesn’t let aggression blind her judgement, i think she’ll fit in.” 

         “ah, i knew i could count on you, alison.” and with a smile, her supervisor produced another document from the drawer of his desk and pushed it towards her. handler reassignment, the headline read, and again, her face scrunched up in confusion. “i don’t -- understand. why are you showing me this? who is changing handlers?” 

          “it’s not your hellhound, i can tell you that.”

          “okay, but -- if he’s staying with me, who is being reassigned?”

          “lenard has to leave soma temporarily due to personal matters. as such, we have volunteered to temporarily reassign his hound to a handler in our department until he is able to make his return. and you, alison, are the lucky candidate.” a smile -- that damn smile that always seemed to have assumed that she’d give into his wish without a fight. 

          “do you really think that’s a good idea? i feel like i’m the worst candidate to choose for this. are you forgetting who my hound is? he’ll never get along with her. he’ll chew her up, and she’ll bite him right back from the looks of it.”

          “and that’s when you’ll step in to discipline. that’s what your role as a handler is. discipline. you managed to tame your hellhound -- if he acts up again with your new addition, you put your foot down and demand order. as for ms. amarante, she is at your mercy for taking her in.”

          “don’t talk like that. she’s not ‘at my mercy.’ if i say no, you’d just find her someone else. she has a handler by default -- it’s just a mild inconvenience for soma to temporarily relocate her to a new department until her usual handler returns. i just don’t understand why you’d choose me -- i imagine you’d choose someone else who doesn’t already have their hands full.”

          “ah, but that’s why this decision was made. the missions you take on -- there’s just two of you currently, yes? imagine what it’d be like with a third helping hand. you said it yourself, she has the potential for field missions, especially with additional training, and who best to train her than you? as for eden -- he has little say in the matter. if you accept, he’ll just have to deal.”

          “that sounds like a recipe for conflict, and conflict is the last thing i need more of. eden already gets into conflict with other hounds from different departments in the training room. i don’t need him getting into conflict with someone he’s suppose to actually work with and see daily.”

          “then tase him again. that’s what that collar is for, isn’t it? it’s not like you haven’t done it already. besides, it’s only a temporary arrangement. she’ll have her own temporary space in this wing of the building, she’ll train with you, she’ll accompany you on missions and can be as involved or as distant as you want her to be. take this to be an opportunity for you to develop your leadership skills -- you’ve always wanted a promotion, right?”

          “mm ... this isn’t really the promotion i had in mind.”

          “and who know? maybe she’ll end up being a permanent addition to your team. at any rate, the decision has already been made, so the sooner you sign these documents, the sooner the reassignment can happen and the more time you’ll have on your hands to get your hounds acquainted and trained before your next mission.”

          “if eden ends up breaking another window, don’t blame me.” 

#( private verse ) handler and hound #i know you’re strong but you don’t have to be alone ( claire & alison ) #writing; #cw: long post

[ceruleanmindpalace]

Inktober 2019

Inktober is over and I wanted to express my thanks to everyone who supported me. Many thanks to everybody who liked, reblogged and commented. I am still quite overwhelmed by all the positive feedback I got.

THANK YOU :)

 I was kind of anxious to use a medium as permanent as ink. It certainly held a few surprises.

For example, the set of 6 colours + white I ordered turned out to be a poor choice. All my skin tones were a bit off because the set included a red that was an orange kind of scarlet red. For good mixing I would have needed a magenta tone. So all skin tones were too orange because mixing pink or a decent violet was impossible. Overall the brand worked fine with me but I have no comparison. Additionally, I used a lot of different coloured papers, which meant that I had to adjust every time because it affects how the colours appear.

Its stupid, but I was totally unprepared for the fact that drawing with a dip pen needed  to be done on a horizontal surface. I usually work on an improvised drawing board by leaning a thin wooden board against a table but that did not work.

In the middle of the first work with ink I decided that I better stretch my cheap coloured card paper because I really don't like it go 'wavy'. It worked surprisingly well as long as I avoided rubbing it while it was wet - even with the tip of the brush. The only object I had at hand to glue the paper to was an old round glass top from a side table, which is quite heavy. I used strips of blue paper and thinned down wood glue.

I learned within the first few days that no matter how thorough I clean my brushes they take damage. So I decided to use only the ones I had already ruined, which left me with a choice of four already frayed brushes.

Since I knew I would mix a lot I bought medicine dropper bottles but it was a bad idea. When shaken and then unscrewed a bit later, the ink - for some odd reason - will not flow down inside the bottle but go over the rim and make quite a mess. The design is faulty somehow, although they were quite expensive.  

The best thing about ink is certainly that it dries and you can paint over it without affecting the layer underneath - and that ink dries so fast you barely ever need to be aware where to put your hand to not accidentally smudge it.

I tried out a lot of new hatching techniques and pens (gel and ink pens) as well as four new varieties of brown paper, which is my favourite. I surprised myself with my eagerness to experiment and with actually managing to post every day. Now, I am looking forward to go back to watercolours and good brushes and not having to mix every single nuance I want to use from just 7 colours.

So, doing Inktober helped me through several sleepless nights and I guess I would do it again.

 Many thanks to @bluebellofbakerstreet’s wonderful prompt list!

#sherlock #inktober 2019 #sherlock inktober #inktober2019 #thank you everybody <3 #bluebellofbakerstreet

[ansheofthevalley]

Truth

This word has been mentioned in all the episodes so far. But what’s interesting is that all three times this word was uttered was in the Crypts.

If we look at it in a surface level, it’s not much. The word is said in different episodes by different people in different contexts. The three scenes have a literal meaning, but there’s more than one meaning to every, any, text. 

Taking Roland Barthes’ theory of the Five Codes from “S/Z”, we could say that these scenes can fall into one group because they all hint at the same thing, their connotation is the same: they all hint at the truth. These scenes share the same signifier (truth), which means that “truth” is something that will appear more than once, it will appears several times, so it’s safe to say that “truth” is a crucial aspect of the story. This refers to the second code: the semantic code. But we can view “truth” through another lens. We can take this word and ask ourselves what it means, what does it hint at, what does it answer. The word acts as an enigma: it’s both a question and an answer, one that will come up again and again, until we have more pieces of the puzzle, so we could finally piece it all together. This refers to the first code: the hermeneutic code.

So, having this in mind, there are some questions that arises when watching these scenes while being aware of their shared connotation and the repetition of the word truth: What could this mean? How does this one word drive the story forward? 

8x01: “Winterfell”

The scene where this is said is during the revelation of Jon’s parentage to him by Sam.

J: I wasn’t a king.

S: But you were. You’ve always been.

J: I gave up my crown, Sam. I bent the knee, I’m not King in the North anymore.

S: I’m not talking about King in the North, I’m talking about the King of the bloody Seven Kingdoms.

[…]

S: Your mother was Lyanna Stark. And your father, your real father, was Rhaegar Targaryen. You’ve never been a bastard. You’re Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne.

What’s interesting is that during the reveal, the camera zooms in on Jon’s face. This same technique is used when Jon reveals the truth to Dænerys in the following episode. We watch Jon take in all the information Sam is giving him.

J: My father was the most honorable man I’ve ever met. You’re saying he lied to me all my life?

S: Your father, well, Ned Stark, he promised your mother he’d always protect you.

S: And he did. Robert would’ve murdered you if he knew. You’re the true King. Aegon Targaryen, the sixth of his name, Protector of the Realm, all of it.

This shot is poignant. It’s not only there to put Jon in the same frame with his mother. It’s also there to remind us what Ned did for love. He lied to his wife, to his family, to his King. All because of her sister. “The things we do for love…”

J: Dænerys is our Queen.

S: She shouldn’t be.

J: That’s treason.

S: It’s the truth. You gave up your crown to save your people, would she do the same?

While the first thing that comes to mind when we link this scene with the word “truth” is the truth of Jon’s parentage: that’s the literal meaning. But we must not forget the when and why that word it’s said.

Sam says that Dænerys shouldn’t be queen, to which Jon replies: “it’s treason”, and Sam is quick to say that what he’s saying is the truth: she shouldn’t be queen, and Jon doesn’t deny what Sam says. Remember that this conversation started with Sam telling Jon that Dænerys executed his father and brother for not bending the knee. 

If we look at it with the hermeneutic code in mind, the scene acts as a formulation of the enigma: should Dænerys be Queen? It’s the first episode of the season, a lot of things can still happen. Some believe that she should be Queen, others don’t. But what this scene does to us, the audience, is make us ask ourselves this. That “truth” will come up again, whether in actions or lines. The enigma presented in 8x01 was present in both 8x02 and 8x03, and it’s only right that it will be present in the remaining episodes, because it’s a question it needs answering. 

It gets a little more difficult with the semantic code, because the meaning can change throughout the story. In this particular scene, the word “truth” is connected to monarch: Jon is the true heir, Dænerys claims to be the true heir. One is the one that’s supposed to be the monarch, the other wants to be the monarch. So, in 8x01, we can equal the word “truth” to the concept of “monarch”.

So this scene not only deals with the truth of Jon’s parents, but also with the connotation of monarch and the formulation of the enigma.

8x02: “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”

This scene is fairly similar to the one in 8x01, overall. There’s a reveal of the truth of Jon’s parentage in the Crypts. But the context and the connotations of this scene are vastly different. We have a shaken Jon with a clueless Dænerys, but when the reveal happens, the tension instantly grows, because of what this means politically.

D: Who’s that?

J: Lyanna Stark.

It’s pretty significant that this reveal happens in front of Lyanna’s statue. In 8x01, when Sam formulated the enigma, it was in front of Lyanna’s statue as well. From a visual POV, the show doesn’t want us to forget the importance of Lyanna, whether it’s the promise she got from Ned or the fact that she’s Jon’s mother. But right now, we’re taken right to history between House Stark and House Targaryen, and how Lyanna and Rhaegar’s elopment caused caos and war.

D: My brother Rhaegar… Everyone told me he was decent and kind. He liked to sing, gave money to poor children… And he raped her.

J: He didn’t.

J: He loved her. They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell in the Trident, she had a son.

This is the first time during the scene they are not only physically separated, but facing each other, with Lyanna’s statue in the back of the shot, appearing to be between the two. While in the 8x01 scene the statue represented Ned’s promise to Lyanna, now it represents an obstacle in Jon and Dæny’s relationship.

J: Robert would’ve murdered the baby and Lyanna knew it. So the last thing she did, as she bled to death in her birthing bed…

J: was give the boy to her brother, Ned Stark, to raise as his bastard. My name, my real name, is Aegon Targaryen.

During this reveal, we’re meant to see Dæny’s reaction to the truth. The camera slowly zooms in on her face just as Jon is telling her about Lyanna’s final moments and Ned’s promise. 

D: That’s impossible.

J: I wish it were.

D: Who told you this?

J: Bran. He saw it.

D: He saw it?

J: And Samwell confirmed it. He read about their marriage in the Citadel without even knowing what it meant.

Dænerys is quick to ask about how Jon found out about this, clearly questioning its veracity, as she will do in the next .

D: A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend. Doesn’t it seem strange to you?

J: It’s true, Dæny. I know it is.

D: If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of House Targaryen. You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne.

Again. like the scene in 8x01, the word “true” is linked to Jon’s real parentage. The literal meaning is the same. 

But Jon says “It’s true, Dæny. I know it is” after she questions the veracity of what Jon, Bran, Sam and the audience know is true. Jon isn’t lying. But Dæny still refuses to accept it as the truth, for she says “if it were true”. For her it’s something that can be refuted. 

If we look at it with the hermeneutic code in mind, what this scene does is gives us a partial answer to the enigma from 8x01: the rules of succession in Westeros indicate that the heir to the Throne is the eldest son. In this case, the Mad King having been overthrown and Rhaegar, his heir, killed in battle, the next one in the line of succession would be Jon, for he is the last living legitimate son of the heir to the Throne. His claim surpasses Dæny’s, who’s a third child and female. So, should Dænerys be Queen of the Seven Kingdoms? Well, if we take into account the rules of succession, the answer would be no. This scene gives us an answer to that question, but it’s not the definitive answer.

If we look at it with the semantic code in mind, the word “true” is still connected to the word “monarch”, but it could also be connected to “conflict”. This connotation is implied. Dænerys has been fighting for the Iron Throne since s1, but now it turns out she’s not even the righful heir. The implied conflict comes from the last two remaining Targaryens, one that has a legitimate claim to the Throne as the true heir, and the other who has been fighting to get it back for most of her life.

So this scene not only deals with Jon’s true parentage (again), but it gives a partial answer to the enigma and hints at a possible conflict.

8x03: “The Long Night”

This scene is different than the first two, in that it’s not about the parentage reveal. This scene, in essence, is about sacrifice, making a difference, hopelessness and bravery.

T: If we were up there, we might see something everyone else is missing. Something that makes a difference.

V: *scoffs*

T: What? Remember the Battle of Blackwater? I brought us through the mudgate.

V: And got your face cut in half.

T: And it made a difference. If I was out there right now

S: You’d die. 

The framing of the first two shots is interesting; Tyrion is in the middle of the frame, looking straight at us, it’s as if he’s saying his line to us: “if we were up there, we might see something everyone else is missing. Something that makes a difference”. With the reaction shot of Varys, the spell is gone, we’re no longer interacting with Tyrion, we’re mere spectators. They do a back-and-forth until Sansa cuts in.

S: There’s nothing you can do. 

Now, the back-and-forth is between Tyrion and Sansa. 

T: You might be surprised of the lenghts I’d go to to avoid joining the Army of the Dead. I could think of no organization less suited to my talents.

S: Witty remarks won’t make a difference. It’s why we’re down here, none of us can do anything. 

One of the things that makes this scene interesting is how differently are Tyrion and Sansa handling hopelessness in the face of danger. Tyrion just can’t seem to sit still, while Sansa admits that the situation is far out of her reach. All they can do is wait.

When she says that none of them can do anything, she isn’t saying that they’re useless because they can’t fight. She’s saying that they’re better down in the crypts because them being out there where the fight is wouldn’t make a difference. 

S: It’s the truth. It’s the most heroic thing we can do now, look the truth in the face.

Sansa saying “it’s the truth” is pretty meaningful. It’s admitting there are certain battles she just can’t fight, where she has to sit and wait and hope for the best. It means having to trust the ones fighting the good fight for you.

Look at her face in the second, third and fourth shots. She’s not looking at Tyrion while saying “it’s the most heroic thing we can do now, look the truth in the face”, she looks fazed out. 

So, what is this truth Sansa is referring to? Well, literally, is about that none of them can do anything about their current situation. That’s the literal meaning of the word “truth” in this scene.

Having the semantic code in mind, the word “truth” takes on another connotation, different from “monarch” and “conflict”. In this scene, it relates to “change”: the heart of the scene is the fact of wanting to change things for the better, of having and giving advantage to their allies in order to come out on top, and whether or not they can do this. It’s implied these characters want to be a driving force of change, and they could be: it’s just that given this particular situation, they just can’t. 

But with the hermeneutic code in mind, it’s different. While you can connect the connotations of the word “truth” to the enigma presented by Sam in 8x01, should Dænerys be Queen?, I believe we’re given a suspended answer. Why? Because we know for a fact that both Sansa and Tyrion are driving forces of change: the former made it possible for her family to retake Winterfell, the latter believes himself to be a driving force of change by bringing Dænerys to Westeros to reclaim the Iron Throne. They’re also on opposite sides; Sansa fights for Northern Independence, Tyrion is Dæny’s Hand. So there you’ve got conflict. We started to get our answers regarding the 8x01 enigma with the Jon-Dæny scene in 8x02, but came to a halt in 8x03. But it’s not that 8x03 gave us nothing, it reminded us of the players on both sides of the conflict, and the change they’re both fighting for. 

But it could also introduce another enigma: what can we do to make a difference? This question is in no way isolated from the other. They’re both political in nature, they both have political implications. If we go this route, we have to take into consideration the characters with lines on this scene: Varys, Tyrion, Sansa and Missandei. Given that they all survived the Battle of Winterfell, is only logical to think that they will have a role to play in the political aspect of the conflict in the second half of the season. So, what can these characters do to make a difference? That’s a question we’ve got no answer for (right now). Maybe 8x04 will gives us a promise of an answer or a partial answer. But one thing is clear: now that the Long Night is over, it’s time to play the Game of Thrones again.

#got #game of thrones #got s8 #game of thrones s8 #8x01 #8x02 #8x03 #winterfell #a knight of the seven kingdoms #the long night #samwell tarly #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #tyrion lannister #sansa stark #r+l=j #dance of dragons 2.0 #the game of thrones #got meta #got s8 speculation #scene analysis #my meta #my thoughts #my stuff #roland barthes #s/z #long post #sorry if it's kinda difficult to understand #hit up my ask box #if there's something that wasn't clear

[jojoingjoseph]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ( Depends on how you look at it?? I believe he’s pretty strong. )

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. 

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. ( part 2 and supporting role in part 3 )

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD (usually.) / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I follow it up to a certain point and break off to another AU/Divergence entirely. From how I write it, either Joseph never married or he did marry Suzi, had Holly, then divorced to be a single father. Everything pretty much falls into that Eyes Over Heaven multiverse (when not in a ‘singular AU’ where it simply follows events during or post BT/ AU’s) where Joseph’s more or less aware of meeting doubles of himself/people he usually comes across. He always seemed like a guy who knew more than he let on despite how much he goofs off y’know? I thought I’d play around with that shtick for both the good and bad parts of being privy to that sort of knowledge.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  He’s always been a trickster for starters, the man with the plan and even though it looks like he’s not taking anything serious; chances are high it’s all a clever front. He’s not your typical scrawny protag that only has their wits as opposed to brawn, more like he’s got the best of Both worlds with having muscle and brains to back it up into a fine combative technique. He’s prideful yet not to an annoying fault and though he can be reckless at times, it’s often a carefully made set of moves especially when it comes to putting himself in front of friends and family. A few years has given him some much needed maturity and I do believe he’s at a relatively decent spot though that’s not to say he isn’t absolutely hesitant to pull his usual gimmicks of pranking people and being an overall pain in the ass just to be an asshole. Joseph’s got a good head on his shoulders, a decent enough heart, and naturally he’s a spitfire sort of guy who knows how to get the job done when push comes to shove.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — Joseph may feel more depressing or not as lively at times simply due to previous encounters with muses in the overarching EoH verse. He’s sarcastic, apathetic at times, and even downright a complete Asshole when he’s really not having any of it. He’s grown more reclusive in some ways and this can put off people expecting the usual ‘ arrogant funny guy Joseph ‘ fandom likes to portray him as. Part of having Divergence is having these changes to the muse that pretty much shaped them into the portrayal they are today even if all that summarizing is hard to adequately explain to new people with fresh muses bearing familiar faces. In short, it can be pretty daunting for new writing partners to know the history my portrayal of Joseph has gone through in shaping minor to moderate bits of his personality and thinking over the years and that does make it hard to reach out more often than not along with how I see him as using that brain of his more as opposed to being a meme-y sort of guy who shows off 24/7. He’s got aches, he’s got pains, he’s got some chips on his shoulders and he can get overly stubborn with certain things.

Don’t even get me started on the fandom. It’s alright they like a certain portrayal of Joseph but... Good fucking lord people. The guy is more than simply being the man who cheated on his wife and had an affair with another woman.. and tbh I don’t agree with that canon in the first place. Take it as you will but I’m not gonna humor any sort of cheating gimmicks with my portrayal in regards to the ‘canon’ of this blog.

What Inspired you to rp your muse?   —  My ex was the first one who suggested I take up writing Joseph from JJBA. They noticed how much I enjoy smart characters with a mouth on them and what do you know, it was a match made in heaven for me to write Joseph. I originally didn’t think he was anything remarkable when I first saw him than thinking he’s the same old ‘ big muscled meathead ’ trope but he proved me wrong and I’ve never been more happy. The fact he’s not your typical ‘ Pure hearted ’ protag and actually isn’t about using some dirty tricks just gives him more fun to play with.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  He’s one of my favorite muses to do. He’s funny, snarky, witty, an overall pleasure to write usually on any given day. It’s especially wonderful when other people join in and mayhem all but unleashes itself on the dash with Joseph usually caught in the middle of it. For better or for worse, he’s always got something to say whether or not he’s moving his lips. Music tends to help the most for setting a mood I want with him and Joseph usually does all the work while I write it down. He’s just... wonderful, man. He is my Muse.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.  ( Half and half, sometimes I need to jot something down or I have this idea stuck in my head but usually I try to “ show it ” and not tell it unless it’s asked for/needed clarification ooc. )

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. 

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. ( ahsdfj he’s canon divergent.. I sometimes worry on whether I’m still maintaining the core of his character in response to various factors/situations but I’m usually feeling good about him on any given day. )

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. ( Usually, the words tend to flow but lately its been hard due to outside and inner factors. )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Yes and no. If I ask for it, I’m all ears and I want to hear more ideas on what I could try my hand at or spend some time thinking on it. Now if that criticism comes out without me asking for it? No. If you have a problem with how I write my rendition of Joseph, I’d kindly say for you to make your own blog and write your own muse to make yourself happy instead of coercing me to cater to your ideas.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  Of course! It gives some good ideas to write upon when the inspirations there. Joseph’s always been a pretty wordy guy unless he’s having a really off day ahsdfjgn. Seriously, he doesn’t shut up when he gets going.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  No. I write my Joseph as I want, you write your Joseph as you want. It’s alright for us to disagree, just have the respect to not shove your ideas down my throat and I offer the same respect in turn. Besides, why not play around with that EoH ?? Or Twins verse, really anything can happen and those differences can be fun to explore in parallel universes or what have you. That’s one of the big perks of writing in a multiverse way.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  As I said.. make your own blog and make your own Joseph. No one’s forcing you to interact with me or me to you. You can’t please everyone, y’know? I am open to discussing things when I ask for it, if not.. please do not engage with me on this. I am not keen to change how I write my idea of Joseph as I feel the way I write makes it fun for me.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I’d rather not see any of it and I will refuse to talk or look at the person/people/posts in question. Dealing with the early days of making this blog and how much people legit ragged on him left a perpetual bad taste in my mouth so I’d rather avoid all that jazz if you will. People are free to hate on Joseph as with any character but chances are I’ll block the posts/people won’t don’t take the hint and move on with my life, end of story.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Of course, I may have taken Honors English but I still mess up when I’m basically one-shotting replies and drabbles.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I believe so, I try to converse as I can with my social energy being abysmal. If anything, I’m slow as fuck to reply ooc ;w; 

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: Stole it from @despairforme​

Tagging: Ahhh.. fuck. Do it if you want. 

#★ Headcannon Related #( ahfdsj hope you dont mind me tagging. I can always remove that. )

[tillyvis-com]

EVALUATION: Final Title Sequence

What informed/motivated my design decisions?

I looked at a lot of exisitng movie title sequences in order to use for inspiration but my main source of reference was, ‘With Love From Russia’. It used a projector to cast typography over body parts - the movements of the limbs created unique distortions of the text/name credits. I really liked this idea as I really wanted to film over animating this project but had a lot of restrictions if I filmed due to the lockdown. But when I found this, it gave me reason to film and also, fit really well with my idea of wanting to make it feel like you were in/following the labyrinth with the type moving/acting as the thread in the plot. I also was influenced by ‘Se7en’s title sequence, the way it cut between the name credits made for a almost glitch-like effect, then flicking back to the original position - this made you feel rather unnerved, even though you really had no reason to be. I ended up using a similar technique in my title sequence - I zoomed in on a really clean and focused still of the names/title at one point in the moment - allowing the audience to be able to fully read I the credit as well as making them jolt a little and add to the atmosphere. 

What changes/developments has my project gone through? 

As this was a rather short project, I feel like I didn't really have time to have big changes - I thought about doing animation as the limitation of lockdown, but, I found a possible filming way (projector) in time before I really started to think about animating it. I also almost did the Chinese Creation Story, but again, I ended up realising while researching into the two stories which one I was more interested in/had a more developed idea! So, overall, I went through a lot of mini phases/changes - times when I had the wrong typeface or no name credits yet but I always planned on doing those things - I just hadn't done them at the time, so I didn't really make bog changes during the duration of this project. 

Did I manage my time well?

For once, I actually think I managed my time well! I think this was because I was really interested in this brief as I have always wanted to try film and never really had the chance/know what to do. So, this was a really intriguing brief for me - that may be why I had 30 seconds of clip very early on! But, one thing I wish I spent less time on would be deciding which story to do - I knew form the beginning my most developed idea was for Theseus and the Minotaur but yet I wasted time researching into most of the stories and then still being torn between 2 for a couple weeks - if I had chosen it from the start I may have been able to develop my piece now even further and make it even more successful. But, overall, Im very happy with what I did and how I managed my time. 

How did I respond to feedback?

I think I  responded well to feedback - most o the things they said in my tutorials I knew I needed to do just hadn't had the time yet so pretty much everything they suggested got done. For example, It was suggested to hold the title for longer at the end and to make sure I got a really clear clip of it - with no real blurriness which I ended up doing for my final piece!

Are there areas of my design process that need more practice?

I think, for the most part, I had all the skills I needed to in order to create this - the premiere pro tech session really helped me as it was my first taste for using that software. But, if we were at u/on campus, I do feel like I could've created a maybe cleaner piece. But, overall, for it being my first time with this software, I think I handled it well.

But, I think I could’ve experimented more with ideas physically - I had multiple ideas for this title sequence yet only film tested the projector one then went along with it - I probably should’ve tried putting a quick animation together just so I could fully rule it out as a no - but I was pushed for time so maybe that was a reason I never got around to it?

What have I learnt from this unit?

I have learnt a lot - mainly all on premiere pro as I hadn't made anything on it before. Im glad I can finally use the basics of it - I know there's still al to more to learn. I have also learnt more about title sequences in general - you don't always notice them but after getting this brief - every time I watched something I fully noticed all sorts of things I didn't before. I’ve also learnt that I am more than capable of learning the technology of things on my own - if I was at uni I would probably just immediately ask Ben for help but in the current situation, I found myself trying to figure it out myself and just experiment a lot more with the softwares etc. 

Reflect - Are there any improvements that I would make to my final outcome?

There are definitely possible improvements for my final title sequence. For some reason, even though it fits with my lo-fi aesthetic, I cant seem to export it to a decent quality of what it shows me in premier pro. Also, I would've loved to try and animate a moving title sequence (similar to Baby Driver’s) with lines (acting as the thread) to create the title and then project that onto the walls/corners etc. I think this would’ve created even more distortion and unique movements! I think I also could've spent more time planning the actual shots I wanted - like on a storyboard because as I was filming I found It got a bot overwhelming  - I knew the basic shots I wanted but I think if I had gone round before in the day I could've looked for possible ares for the best shots and best distortions. 

But, even though there are improvements to be made to my final piece, I am still very happy with the outcome!

[entamewitchlulu]

Lulu’s Flash Reviews [Winter 2020]

Been a while since I posted one of these! I posted these to my twitter earlier but I figured I could put them here too.  And if you will excuse the plug, consider checking out my side Twitter I use specifically for livetweeting anime, @/LulusLivetweets!

And w/o further ado, I have some thoughts about anime under the cut!

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Eizouken was an absolutely INCREDIBLE little show. I hadn't initially planned on watching it, but I'm so glad I did. The main cast is so strong and their personalities mesh and bounce into perfect, hilarious dynamics - and the core themes about creativity and how to make anime wrt all the work that REALLY goes into it were so much fun to watch play out. Everytime Kanamori went off on her own plans, I was hooked! Everytime Asakusa and Mizusaki started playing some imagination game, I got emotional, because that was me in high school! 

And of course, the animation was spot on; the way you watched them physically build their "greatest world" through sketchy environments and voice acted sound effects, it was immersive and inspiring. An instant classic imo!   

Overall: 10/10

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun was one that was on my radar from the beginning due to the voice talent of Megumi Ogata playing the titular character. But her excellent va work wasn't the only awesome thing about it! the animation was absolutely gorgeous, using a very unique style visually and cinematically. i really loved the way they decided to design each episode's mood and tone and the creative framing techniques. the characters were all quite fun, complex, and endearing, and there was just enough mystery to really keep you hooked. and i'm a sucker for that rumors-create-reality plot! the only minus i can give this is that Nene's obsession with boys started to wear on me lol

Overall: 9/10

Asteroid in Love

A slow-paced slice of life, but still overall enjoyable! There was little substance and any time it edged on real conflict it hurriedly pulled back, but that was ok because we all knew we were here for cute girls being cute without any more depth.  The relationship between Ao and Mira was sweet and lovely, and the quirks of the other characters never became so overwhelming that it got annoying, even the tsundere-types. And I learned a little bit about space! Bonus points! overall, it was a sweet and welcome escape to simply slip into a story without conflict, where you could simply sit back and smile as you watched these sweet girls pursue their deeply held dreams, no matter what might stand in their way.

Overall: 7/10

In/Spectre

For my thoughts on In/Spectre....well...I finished it? There are elements to this series that I found interesting enough to continue til the end. This one also taps into the Rumors-Become-Reality trope that I love, but unlike Hanako-kun it...leaves character to the wayside. The animation is pretty solid, sound design is good, character designs are pretty decent if a little unmemorable, but...for most of this show it's talking heads. They talk in circles and weave stories in a way that just...doesn't do the visual medium justice.

and the characters are just...boring. I never bought into what was meant to be the main romantic subplot. Iwanaga is extremely annoying when she's not devising Sherlock-esque concepts. rather than develop the characters and their relationships, they devoted 90% of screentime to watching Iwanaga come up with ridiculous fictions in Sherlock-esque fashions, as though just to show off how clever the show is rather than let me become invested in the characters. if there's ever a season 2, i don't think i have the emotional investment to look into it.

Overall: 6/10

Natsunagu

Natsunagu isn't really a traditional anime per say, it's a series of shorts developed for a revitalization effort after the Kumamoto earthquake, I believe. Each episode is only 3 minutes long, so the story isn't particularly fleshed out, but for what it was, it was rather sweet. The story of a girl trying to find her online friend after their usual message service is shut down and meeting the people of a place still in recovery was I think written with exactly as much sensitivity as it needed to for the story and the people it was telling it for.

Overall: 6/10

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record

Magia Record blew every expectation I had out of the fucking water. It was absolutely fucking incredible. Building expertly off of the foundation laid by the original Madoka, in some respects it absolutely overshadowed it. The aesthetic and atmosphere hit every fucking note perfectly. Without having to worry about building up uncertainty the way the original did, MR was able to barrel straight into the uncanny valley, where you already know that something is wrong but you have no idea how MUCH.

yet another Rumor-Creates-Reality show (seriously this is a theme here), the Rumors on display here are markedly more hostile, and built with all of the eerie charm of Madoka's signature surreality. Characters are not left to the wayside, either. For the number of cast members they introduce and the old ones they bring back, it somehow manages to balance all of them, give most of them arcs and depth, and invest you into all of them in a very short span of time.

I'm still shivering with just how intense every bit of it was. I want to rewatch it already. I'm already pounding my fists on the table for season 2! The original Madoka was and still is a favorite of mine, but this spin off avoided every pitfall I could have thought of creating something that both wove intricately into its source material while creating something brand new at the same time. Even knowing that these events will retroactively be undone with the events of Madoka, I still care immensely, and that's a major feat. cannot wait for s2!

overall: 10/10

And before I sign off on this, I also wanted to share my own personal awards for Winter 2020′s season!

Best Girl

4. Iroha Tamaki (Magia Record)

3. Hinata Hiramitsu (Healin’ Good Precure)

2. Midori Asakusa (Eizouken)

1. Sayaka Kanamori (Eizouken)

For Best Girl, the ultimate award goes toooo.....Kanamori from Eizouken! An atypical character in both personality and design, she is always an immense amount of fun every time she's on screen. Honorable mentions go to Asakusa, Hinata, and Iroha!

Best Boy

2. Daruizen (Healin’ Good Precure)

1. Hanako-kun (Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun)

For Best Boy of Winter 2020, the award goes toooo.....Hanako-kun! Simultaneously a little shit AND in need of a hug, Hanako balances that shitlord side of himself with his moments of vulnerability in a super endearing way. Honorable mention to Daruizen because I'm me.

Best Couple

3. Iroha/Nanami (Magia Record)

2. Hanako/Nene (Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun)

1. Mira/Ao (Asteroid in Love)

the award for Best Couple goes tooo....Mira/Ao! This sweet pair not only have devoted their lives to their shared dream, but they've also moved in together, spent long nights stargazing, and chased each other across the country! Honorable mentions to Iroha/Yachiyo and Hanako/Nene

Best OP: Easy Breezy by Chelmico (Eizouken)

This OP is just so much fun to watch, and the song is fun to listen to on its own!

Best ED: Aletheia by ClariS (Magia Record)

Best ED goes tooo....Aletheia by ClariS!  It's beautifully animated, and one of the few EDs I actually liked listening to all the way through the end. Plus, ClariS is always good!

Best Music: Magia Record

Best Music Award goes to Magia Record! Yuki Kajiura is ALWAYS a treat to listen to, as always.  And a secondary mention to Healin Good! The theme that plays during the main attack is really good and reminds me of You Say Run a little.

Best Animation: Magia Record

Best Animation also goes to Magia Record! Madoka properties really know how to meld unique styles of animation, and to get the most out of every frame. A special shoutout to the design of Hanako-kun and the creativity of Eizouken, though!

Best Overall:

And finally, for Best Overall...I actually have to give it a tie;;;; Eizouken + Magia Record were both incredible , for extremely different reasons - but their combined unique animation styles, attention to aesthetic/theme, and overall stellar performance were a joy this season!

And that’s enough of me talking! Looking forward to Spring 2020′s season, lot of good stuff coming up!  Did anyone watch anything this season that I didn’t talk about that you highly recommend?

#lulu's flash reviews #gif warning below cut

[jlawrence10]

This was our summit on Thursday morning, and it was a good one. 2:30 AM, a full moon rising over boiling clouds, as climbers trickled out of the RMI Expeditions hut at 10,000 feet to come to terms with the fact that we weren't going any higher.

--------------- I have made no attempt to keep this short. ---------------

As many of you know, I was honored with an invite to join the second Climb for Clean Air Rainier Team on a summit attempt with RMI Expeditions this past week. It's a 4 day program of learning about gear, mountain techniques, and snow climbing, with a stay at their hut halfway up the mountain at Camp Muir, and one shot at the summit on Thursday morning.

I always advise new climbers not to obsess over the weather forecast, because all it does is cause stress, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. So as I obsessed over the weather forecast for a week prior, I could tell that it wasn’t looking good. But you've got to stay in the frame of mind that a window might open up, so you're ready for a shot at the top if it comes. That can be difficult; a few of us camped in the rain on Monday night, but for Tuesday's snow climbing class the weather was mostly acceptable. No view of the mountain, but some sun breaks, and hardly any rain at all.

I guess the rain was saving itself up for Wednesday, when we had to climb from the Paradise area of Mt. Rainier National Park, 4 miles and 4500 vertical feet with full overnight packs, weighing in between 40 and 50 lbs. As we pulled into the lot at Paradise, the windshield wipers were going strong, and instead of hopping out into the rain to gear up, our guide Win Whittaker asked the bus driver if we could pull up to the lot in front of Paradise Lodge to go inside and gear up instead. Neither Win, the longtime guide/bus driver/partial RMI owner Joe, nor 7 year guide Mike knew if there was space to turn the bus around in the lodge lot. They had never had conditions that warranted pulling up to the lodge to get geared up. I took this to be a pretty bad sign.

But gear up we did, and out into the rain we went. There's not much choice. If you want a shot at the top, you have to get to Camp Muir at a decent hour to rest up, eat, and hydrate. The hike out of Paradise and onto the Muir snowfields was... well, it was a little bit fun to be honest with you. But it was also pretty horrible. Our guide Mike would later say that it was the worst day on the snowfield he had ever experienced, and he's been guiding for 7 years. (I’m sure he says that every time it rains, but whatever…) It was basically a recipe for hypothermia. Temps hovering between 35 and 42 degrees, heavy rain, and winds gusting to probably 40 mph.

This team was amazing.

We put our gear on, put our heads down, and just took off into the clouds. At times it was just breezy and moist. At other times we were nearly blown off our feet. And at times the rain was just soaking. Our amazing guides Win, Mike, Abby, Drew, Avery and Matias kept checking in with each and every one of us. Are your hands ok? Is anybody chilled? Do you have plenty of energy? I realized later that these check ins were also our chance to bail out. Mike said that 9 out of 10 teams he has guided wouldn't have continued up into such conditions. But for this team, it never even came up. They've all raised a ton of money for the American Lung Association, and unlike many who call themselves mountaineers, they weren't climbing for themselves. They were climbing for the friends, families and colleagues who had donated to the cause. They were climbing for the husbands and wives who had held down the fort at home while they hit the trail every damn weekend since February. They were climbing, and I was climbing, for the loved ones we've lost to lung disease and fucking cancer, and we weren't going to let a little rain slow us down.

In fact, the rain sped us up. Usual time to Camp Muir on a nice day is about five hours. We did it in just over four. We didn't take any sit-down breaks, and in fact I only took my pack off once, when I decided I needed to sacrifice a valuable pair of dry gloves, because my hands were getting chilled to the point where I couldn't really use them anymore.

At about 9000 feet, as we hit a very exposed snow field with steady winds and near-freezing rain, our guide Avery looked back at us, and said, "You guys are gonna have to keep up with me. We are not going to go slow." This made me pretty happy because I knew a faster pace would warm me up. I'm not sure if all my fellow climbers shared this sentiment.

We pulled into Camp Muir, ditched our packs, and piled into the RMI hut, which is a small room filled mostly with bunks. Those of us that had any dry clothes changed into them. Those that didn't stripped down and climbed into their sleeping bag. Those that had a leak in their trash-bag-pack-liner shared a sleeping bag until the guides rustled up an extra, warning that, "It probably smells like guide."

It was about 3:00 PM, the wind kept howling outside, the rain and snow and sleet kept pounding the hut, but we were safe and comfortable for the time being, as Win and Mike came in to brief us on tomorrow's summit attempt. Win started in to his usual, "We'll wake you up between midnight and two..." but then stopped, got a sort of "fuck it" look on his face, and said, "I'm gonna be frank. It's not looking good." We'd all seen the forecast. We all had layers that were soaking wet. Some didn't have any dry gloves, and others had boots that had either soaked through, or filled up from the top. Efforts to hang clothes to dry in a hut in a rainstorm filled with 18 warm breathing bodies were mostly a kind of charade. The best technique was wringing out a layer, hanging it for a couple hours, and then either putting it in your sleeping bag (bad!) or just putting it on (worse!). We all knew the situation, and I think we all appreciated Win's honesty. He and Mike still briefed us as if we might give it a shot, and Win insisted later that he hadn't actually ruled it out until 2:00 AM because dammit he was weathered off on his last attempt too.

After a lot of hot water bottles, some bad jokes (Mike), some good riddles (Matias), some enthusiastic chatter (Charyl), we settled in for "quiet time" at about 6:30 and tried to sleep a bit as the wind kept pounding the hut.

2:00 AM had to come. I guess I slept a bit because before I knew it, Win was in there. "It's not in the cards, guys." He reiterated that winds up high were forecast over 60 mph, temps were dropping, and drove the point home by grabbing a couple pieces of hanging gear, which were still dripping wet. He knew that putting on wet gloves and wet boots and climbing into freezing winds is a recipe for disaster.

I think we all knew it. For me, it wasn't a surprise, and the disappointment had settled slowly rather than punching me in the gut. But I've been up Rainier before. And I have a good chance to go up again. For some of these folks, this was their second attempt after raising a ton of money, twice. For others, this may have been their only shot. And I was feeling pretty devastated for them. I took in the news, laid back for a few minutes, and decided that since I was up I might as well head over and use the smelly bathrooms. I put on some layers and slipped into my damp boots. I got to the door, lowered my head and stepped out into the presumably howling winds and rain. As I got out there and looked around, these words came to my mouth:

"Fuck. It's perfect."

The winds had calmed. The clouds had lowered. A full moon was rising to the south over a boiling sea of clouds that were rolling rapidly east and, as one climber later put it, "Looked alive."

I turned and looked at the upper mountain, and it was lit brightly by the moon and looked so cold and beautiful set against a sky of stars that shone strongly despite the overpowering moonlight.

I'm not gonna lie - My first reaction was anger and frustration and doubt and questioning of the decision to not climb. The night seemed ideal. But I was being a selfish idiot. Win has climbed this mountain 140+ times. Mike has climbed 35+ times. There were six incredible guides with years of experience agonizing over this decision for hours, and if I'm not gonna trust them to make the right decisions to keep us safe, then I certainly shouldn't tie into their rope and put my life in their hands at 14,000 feet. But I DID trust them to make the right decisions to keep us safe, and I would have trusted them with my life at 14,000 feet, and as they proved to us during that trip and later on in the warmth at Base Camp back in town (warmth provided by hot showers, central heating, and a few beers), they wanted that summit as much as we did. And not for themselves, but for us, and for our donors, and for our family members and colleagues and husbands and wives and girlfriends without whom none of us would be here.

But here we definitely are, trickling out of hut at 10,000 feet at 2:30 in the morning, eyes adjusting to the bright moonlight and taking in the rolling clouds below us and the bright moon above. Tears were shed. Hugs were shared. Someone brought out a decent sized flask of decent bourbon and that someone was me. Someone else went back in to the hut and whispered that if anyone was awake, they should really come out and have a look. Pictures were taken, and there was some half-joking discussion about finding a rope and going up anyway, but overall the mood as I read it changed from one of disappointment and sadness to simple and sincere appreciation for where we were at that moment. Not many people ever got to see what we were seeing, and got to be part of a team like this. We looked around at the people we had met earlier that week, earlier this year, or in some cases over 12 years ago because of this program, and we felt good about what we had done and where we were at that very moment.

Eventually we had to go back inside, grab a few more hours of sleep, and wait for the time that the rest of the world knows as morning; actual sunrise. The sun rose on a brilliantly clear morning, clouds still churning below us, as our guides shuttled enormous fluffy pancakes down from their quarters, and we started to pack our things. We descended back down into the clouds, but it was merely foggy and a little moist, nothing to worry us mountaineers.

Back in town, we had some showers and some food and some beers, and gathered for a little ceremony to get our certificate of (the carefully worded) “Participation in an ascent of Mt. Rainier.” Everyone spoke a bit about what they had learned, and watching people shrug off the disappointment and tell stories of gratitude and joy and learning and accomplishment just drove home my love and appreciation for this team and this program.

When it was my turn to speak about what I had learned, I kind of cheated. It’s something that I re-learned and that I re-learn every time I’m out there.

Signing up for some weird fundraising, mountain climbing program after hearing a radio ad in 2007… Getting out of bed on a dark, rainy February morning to do some training hike you’ve already done 17 times… Heading out to the mountains even though the forecast isn’t great and it might be too cold or wet or windy to go very high… Heading out to Ashford, Washington with a bad forecast and a low chance at a summit, and diving headlong into a cold soaking rain to slog up some snowfield to spend a wet night in a leaky hut at 10,000 feet…

What I re-learned was this: It’s always worth it.

Because you may end up with some lifelong friends.

And you may end up in a newly built yurt on a smooth concrete floor, as Win Whittaker plays guitar and forgets lyrics, while newly minted mountaineer Steve plays a damn good backing drum and Paul strolls in with a strong clear voice and I think a Nalgene full of ice? that sounds surprisingly good as a shaker. And he’s especially adept at looking up lyrics so we can all try and mostly fail to sing along.

And you may end up at 10,000 feet, gazing at the most amazing moonrise you’ve ever seen, feeling life in the form of disappointment and sadness and gratitude and love and awe and wonder and burning whiskey and a dull headache and tears drying on your cheeks.