#part of me wants to try and help my mom leave his ass but honestly i haven't been close to her in years and years

[loveywon]

♡𓂃 WAIT FOR ME !

part 2 of break my heart again!

pairing: jungwon x gn!reader x niki

wc: 4.6k+

synopsis: you’ll always be waiting for jungwon to finally reciprocate your feelings, but niki will always be waiting for you.

warnings: angst but its not that bad i promise u (i think), open ending(?), swearing i think, sullyoon (nmixx) mentioned, high school au, not proofread its so bad out here

a/n: this was purely written with no draft no outline no nothing everything came out of my ass so if its a little messy… u know why. and no part 3 sorry!!

It’s been almost a month since Jungwon started dating Sullyoon, and you feel yourself starting to form unhealthy coping mechanisms. Niki, is of course, trying to not indulge in your coping mechanisms because he knows it’s not good in the end for you and that it’s not really coping, but he’s a little selfish because one of your unhealthy coping mechanisms is using him to distract yourself whenever Jungwon chooses to hang out with Sullyoon rather than you. 

He knows he shouldn’t, and he feels a little guilty and sick when you leave his house after crying into his chest for what seemed like the millionth time. But when he gets to touch your soft hair, your sniffles dying out after finding comfort within Niki even if he didn’t really offer anything more than a couple soothing rubs to your back and playing with your hair, how can he not give in to you? 

He also knows that he’d rather be the one you cry yourself to sleep with than any other guy, and just the thought of it makes him hold you tighter to his chest. 

You, on the other hand, feel a little guilty as well. You’re sure that Niki is tired of your crying and having to wash his shirts every time you leave because by the time you’re done, his shirt is wet and stained with your tears. You can’t help it, because as much as you try to hate Sullyoon for being the one that Jungwon chose, she’s too nice to you. Always giving you the warmest welcome hugs when you first greet her and Jungwon at their lockers, offering you her strawberry milk because she remembered that Jungwon said you liked strawberry milk, or brushing your hair for you when you walked into school looking like a trainwreck (you cried the night before and knocked out at Niki’s). 

You want to hate her so bad, it’s almost eating you inside over the fact that you simply can’t, because she didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not her fault that Jungwon chose her over you, and you start to understand why he picked Sullyoon. You voice this one night to Niki on one of your walks back to your home, and Niki is actually angry at the fact that you think Sullyoon is any better than you. 

He didn't say anything, he always listened. You think that’s why it makes it so easy to talk to Niki about your feelings because you feel like he’s not judging you, despite his narrow eyes that many people think otherwise. You honestly hesitated helping him in ceramics two years ago because he always carried an intimidating aura, but you’re glad that you did. You wouldn’t trade Niki for the world, he’s always there for you, and you acknowledge that. 

“Wonie!” Sullyoon calls out to him after catching up with him in the hallways, stopping by his side as she tries to catch her breath. 

Jungwon stops and turns to look at her after just walking you to your class, and he smiles upon seeing his girlfriend. “Hey! What’s up? Why’re you late?” He asks while grabbing her by the shoulders, chuckling at her because she's just oh so cute.

Sullyoon stands back up straight, putting her hair behind her ear. “I lost track of time and had to run to make it! My mom refused to drive me,” she feigns a frown before linking arms with Jungwon and starting to walk to her class. “Did you just walk Y/n to their class just now? They have physics, right?”

Jungwon nods, “yeah, I did. Y/n hates physics, though,” he laughs, reminiscing about the time you two had science together last year and you caused the fire alarm to go off because of the smoke that you accidentally also caused. “Y/n suck at any science, but it’s fine. I’m sure they’ll pass anyway, I’m helping them study for the test next week too.” 

It’s not that Sullyoon dislikes it when Jungwon talks about you, it’s more of a bitter feeling, especially seeing his eyes light up differently when he talks to you versus herself. She thinks that maybe it’s just because she can’t see it for herself because her friends all reassured her that her and Jungwon are so cute together. She convinces herself it’s just because you and Jungwon have been friends for forever, and that anyone would talk about their best friend like that. Plus, she could never think badly of you, ever. You two became closer after Jungwon asked her out, and she sees you as a close friend more than ever, and she trusts you around Jungwon.

She just doesn’t know if she trusts Jungwon around you, though. 

“Ah,” she simply says, looking down at the floor. It’s a little awkward for two minutes until they reach Sullyoon’s class. “See you at lunch?” She asks with a smile on her face, and Jungwon nods with a grin before waving her goodbye and heading his way to his own class. 

As Sullyoon walks inside the cafeteria, she immediately spots Jungwon, Niki, and you sitting at your usual table, and a smile makes her way onto her face as she quickly grabs her lunch and makes her way to the table. 

“Hi!” You beam upon seeing Sullyoon take her seat next to Jungwon. You’re seated next to Niki and you sit across from Jungwon. Niki and Jungwon greet Sullyoon as well, and she says her hello’s in return. 

“How was class?” Jungwon asks, his head turning to Sullyoon, completely forgetting about the previous ongoing conversation you and him were having before Sullyoon arrived. Completely normal, you think. You eat your lunch in silence as the couple carry out a conversation on their own, while Niki is typing away at his phone. 

You peer over, being the nosy person that you are. You see that he’s scrolling through Tiktok, and he’s stuck on a funny video that he’s been giggling at for a while now. You find yourself laughing a little too, and Jungwon turns his attention to the two of you giggling, your cheek pressed up against Niki’s shoulder. 

Jungwon’s not aware, but Sullyoon takes notice on how his hold on his chopsticks tighten slightly upon seeing you and Niki. She frowns a little, but she’s quick with grabbing Jungwon’s attention back onto her again. His attention only lasts every minute or so as he’s stealing quick glances at you and Niki laughing at Tiktok’s together. 

He’s barely paying any attention to anything that Sullyoon is saying as she rambles about homework that her teacher assigned in her math class, and he only gives slight hums as a reply. Desperate to get your attention back on Jungwon, he calls out your name and you lift your head up from Niki’s shoulder and tilt your head, “Yeah?” 

“We’re still studying tomorrow for your physics test, right?” He asks, even though he already confirmed last night, he felt like he was getting queasy from seeing you and Niki laugh about something together that didn’t include him. 

“Oh! Yeah, of course. Thanks for helping me again, I don’t know what I would do without you!” You grin before engaging in a conversation with Sullyoon and Jungwon again. 

Jungwon thinks he succeeded upon getting your attention again, and Niki merely rolls his eyes and continues to scroll through Tiktok because he knows Jungwon’s motives but he can’t say anything to you because he knows you’re not going to take it well. 

Niki only wants to see you happy, and even if you end up with Jungwon, he thinks he’ll be okay because you’re no longer having puffy eyes every morning with a red nose from crying all night. 

“So…how’re things going with you and Sullyoon?” You ask Jungwon as the two of you make your way into your home, and suddenly Jungwon is hit with the memory of seeing you with Niki on the couch last month. This was the first time he stepped into your home after that time, and he feels sick to the stomach. 

“It’s going good! She’s super pretty and sweet, I couldn’t ask for more,” he said, but his words sound almost empty if you didn’t know any better, and you don’t because you tune out his answer. You don’t want to know, you think any answer he gives you would make you cry on the spot. 

So you just nod and take a seat on the couch, the same couch Jungwon saw you sleeping on Niki’s shoulder. His stomach churns, and he gulps, reluctantly making his way to the couch and taking his seat where Niki previously sat a month ago. Why is he so caught up with what he saw a whole month ago, Jungwon thinks to himself, and he can’t find an answer, so instead, he pushes it to the back of his mind and focuses on helping you study for your physics test. 

A few hours pass, and you start to doze off, head nodding off as Jungwon reads something off of the textbook. He sighs, patting your head to get your attention and you immediately blink up at him, straightening your back. He chuckles at your action, and he gives you a dimpled smile. “I can get you some water, maybe it’ll help keep you up. I’ll be right back,” he offers and gets up from his seat, making his way to your kitchen to pour you a glass of water. When he comes back, your head is downwards, hair shielding your face and you’re clearly asleep. He smiles softly. It’s been a while since he’s hung out with you like this, even if it is just studying, and it’s refreshing to see you relaxed and asleep because he knows that you struggle under stress and can’t handle it when you have a test coming up, especially when it’s a science related test.

He sits back down, placing the glass of water on the coffee table and he gently takes your head, guiding it to his shoulder. You only stir slightly, but you’re still asleep. Jungwon thinks this is only fair. If Niki gets to feel you sleep on his shoulder, then he should too. You always insist so strongly that you and Niki are only friends after Jungwon constantly pries you with questions about you and Niki, so this was normal, right? This is what friends do. 

But Sullyoon is his girlfriend, and yet he’s never let Sullyoon lean her head on his shoulder. He doesn’t think much about it, he convinces himself that the time will come soon, and that it’s because you and him are comfortable after knowing each other for so long, right? Right, so he simply admires your sleeping state and plays with the ends of your hair, knowing that you like it whenever he does it because you told him two years ago when you two were studying one day. 

There’s a slight, guilty feeling stirring in his gut, and no matter how hard he tries to not think about it, his mind crosses to Sullyoon. Sullyoon would be fine with this, right? She never had any issue with you, in fact, he’s ecstatic that you and Sullyoon got so close. His two favorite people bonding together; what more could he ask for? But he can’t help but let himself indulge in this little moment with you, because it’s been so long since he’s spent time with you like this, and soon he finds himself in a slumber with you on the couch. 

The next morning you see Jungwon at school, you try to avoid him. You had awoken before him, and you almost yelped upon realizing that you were laying on his shoulder. You don’t remember how you got there, but you feel extremely guilty because you would never interfere in between Jungwon and Sullyoon, ruining their relationship even though you are in love with Jungwon. 

You dig through your locker, not daring to look around since you’re scared of meeting eye contact with either Jungwon or Sullyoon, so you stall, pretending to look for something as you bury your head in your locker. 

“What’re ya looking for?” Niki asks, shoulder leaning against the locker beside yours. “The bell is about to ring. You should quickly find what you’re looking for.” You jump a bit at the sound of his voice, and you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. 

“Sorry, I’m not looking for anything,” You reply, shutting your locker and clicking the lock. Niki raises a brow at your weird behavior, arms crossing against his chest like he’s about to interrogate you. 

“What happened last night?” He asks, and it catches you off guard because you forgot that Jungwon asked about you two studying yesterday during lunch, but also because how did he know? 

You blink at him and then quickly look around the hallway for any sign of Jungwon. You spot him talking to Sullyoon, and you turn back to Niki, hands pushing his chest to guide him further down the hall. “Woah! What’s the rush…” He grumbles, following your lead before you halt to a stop, next to your class. 

“I fell asleep on Jungwon’s shoulder…” you mumble quietly, and Niki almost misses it. He stares at you, brows furrowing together. He doesn’t understand. He knows you wouldn’t purposefully fall asleep on his shoulder, right? You’re not that type of person, he thinks. You’re never the one to sabotage someone else because of something that you’ve wanted, so why is he denying that you fell asleep on his shoulder? 

“What?” Is all he asks, because he wants clarification. 

“It was an accident!” You clear up, waving your hands in the air, “But I don’t really remember how I did…because I was just falling asleep while studying and Jungwon wasn’t even sitting next to me when I fell asleep.” You say, eyes glancing around the hallway in case Jungwon or Sullyoon are walking around. 

He slowly nods, starting to understand. He rolls his eyes, putting together the pieces before you even could. Sometimes, he wishes that you weren’t so blindly in love with Jungwon so then you could see that he put your head on his shoulder. Well, and also so you can realize that he’s been waiting for you to see him all along. 

You acknowledge him, and that’s enough for Niki. Or at least, it used to be. He understands what you’re going through, and he dares to even say he’s in the same position as you and knows first-hand what you’re feeling. But, he feels almost exhausted, having to sit and watch you cry over someone who seems to not realize that you’re everything that any person could wish for. Niki would never say that he’s the patient type, but he’s always patient for you, and he thinks he’ll wait for an entire lifetime for you. Now, he’s thinking that you’re starting to test his patience. 

He grits his teeth, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “I don’t know– maybe I’m overthinking it. Sorry, let’s go inside,” you gesture to the classroom that you two share, and he can barely fight off a roll of his eyes before letting him get dragged by you inside the classroom.

During class, you’re aware that Niki’s been glancing at you, and you would say occasionally glancing, but it definitely is more than occasionally. You also are aware that it’s not the good kind of glancing, and more of a this conversation is not over glancing. You bite on your bottom lip, trying to avoid any eye contact with Niki as class passes on. By the time the bell rings, you’re quickly packing up your stuff but Niki’s already hovering by your desk, waiting for you. 

“He obviously put your head there.” He bluntly states, and you’re relieved that most of the students have already filed out of the class and just a few remain so not many hear what he’s saying.

You sigh, grabbing your backpack and swinging it over your shoulder. “I don’t know, it’s really not that big of a deal…I guess it just freaked me out a little. But it’s not that weird, right? I sleep on your shoulders sometimes…” you mumble, and in your head it didn’t sound that weird but now that you say it out loud, you feel your cheeks get a little hot. 

Niki purses his lips in a flat line, slowly nodding his head. No big deal, to sleep on someone's shoulders, to you, but to him, he feels like he’s on top of the world when he feels you relax into him when you fall into a slumber. Maybe you just didn’t understand because no one has fallen asleep on you, he thinks. 

“Right.” Is all he says in reply, causing you to look at him as you two walk down the hall to your next class. You feel bad, and you know exactly why you do. It’s obvious that it’s not not a big deal, and it is a big deal. You think it’s even more of a big deal because it’s Niki, someone who’s not fond of any physical touch and he lets you sleep on his shoulder, and he doesn’t dare move an inch in case he wakes you. 

You chew on your bottom lip, thinking of some way to possibly change the awfully awkward atmosphere that you created. “Wanna go to the café after school again? I miss the strawberry croissant we got last time,” you smile at him, and he returns it easily along with a nod of agreement.

“Of course I do, I’ll see you later then, yeah?” 

 

You’re sitting with Niki during lunch time, and normally Jungwon would be here by now, but both him and Sullyoon are nowhere to be seen. You shrug it off, because you assume that it’s just them doing coupley things by themselves, and you try to not think about it too much. 

Niki feels relieved when you don’t bring up Jungwon not being here for lunch. 

On the other hand, Jungwon’s arm is being dragged by Sullyoon outside of the school courtyard. “What’s this about? Are you okay?” He asks, because he’s never seen Sullyoon mad, ever, and it worries him. 

Sullyoon stops with a huff, crossing her arms across her chest. “No, I’m not okay,” she starts, and Jungwon likes to think he’s intently listening to her, but his head glances through the school doors, his mind thinking that he needs to get to the cafeteria before lunch ends to see you. 

Sullyoon sighs, shaking her head, “Jungwon. Please spare me five minutes of your time. Just this once.” He blinks at her, confused, but he nods anyway. 

“We should break up.” She simply blurts, and Jungwon’s reaction is exactly what she expected it to be. He blinks at her once more, tilts his head, and blinks again in confusion.

“Why? I thought we were doing okay yesterday…” he trails off when Sullyoon raises her hand and waves him off. 

“It’s not me, it’s you. Jungwon, I like you a lot, and you’re so funny and sweet, and I feel very lucky to know what it feels like to be your girlfriend, but I think someone else can treat you better than I can, and they’ve been waiting for a while, too.” Sullyoon explains, a soft yet sad smile on her features, and Jungwon frowns because he simply doesn’t understand where this is coming from. 

He shakes his head in confusion, “What? Sorry, what? Who is this ‘someone else’ and why can they treat me better? I want you!”

Sullyoon sighs again. “No, you don’t want me. You want Y/n. I can see it in the way you talk about them. Your eyes shine bright, more than they ever do when you talk about me, and you always chase for their attention, not mine. And that’s okay, I’ve pretty much come to terms with it. I just don’t know why you haven’t.” 

Jungwon splutters, and he’s at a loss for words. 

“You don’t have to say anything. I just want to ask you something.” Jungwon nods, indicating for her to ask her question. “Why do you hold yourself back when it comes to Y/n?” 

Jungwon paces back and forth in the empty classroom. Sullyoon’s question bugged him so much that he skipped class, something that he’s never done before in his entire high school career. His brows are furrowed, her voice replaying in his mind as he lets out a frustrated sigh. How is he supposed to answer that question? He wasn’t even aware that he was holding himself back two hours ago! He rubs his face with his hand, silently grumbling to himself as he tries to rack his brain for an answer because if he doesn’t, Sullyoon’s voice will just keep repeating in his head and he’s afraid he’ll go mad. 

He thinks back to when he first met you. A fond smile appears on his features, the scene in his mind is so vivid as he remembers every detail about the outfit you were wearing, how your hair was styled, and the way you simply carried yourself on the first day of school. He slaps a hand over his mouth, catching himself smiling as he reminisces younger you. “Get it together,” he mutters to himself, shaking his head as he continues to pace back and forth. Jungwon always admired the way you presented yourself. You cared about your appearance, but not to the point where it was obnoxious checking yourself out every ten seconds, but enough to make yourself feel confident, and Jungwon wishes he could learn that from you. He then realizes there are many other things that he admires about you, and he sighs once more. 

You are too good for him. It was why he rejected you in the first place – he thinks at the time, he wasn’t good enough to be your boyfriend, but he was dedicated to work on himself for you, so that he could be the boyfriend that you deserve. He frowns. He thinks that now, he’s lost you. As time passes, you start to become friends with Niki and he notices the way Niki looks at you, the same way Jungwon looks at you. At first, he didn’t think much of it. Niki was younger than you, and you expressed to him one time that you’re not really interested in younger guys. Jungwon was confident that you’d still be with him in the end, until you and Niki started to share more time together. 

He’s definitely lost you, Jungwon thinks, and he frowns deeply at that. He feels stupid, he fails to understand why his past self decided to make you wait for him. He should have immediately accepted your confession, then you two would live happily forever after. Unfortunately, he let himself get distracted with Sullyoon and academics that he failed to fully dedicate time for a better version of himself for you. 

Better late than never, Jungwon thinks as he looks at the time in the empty classroom, and the last class of the day is about to end. He quickly rushes outside the hallway, heading straight to your locker so he can ask you if you want to hang out today, and maybe he’ll finally return your confession. He only hopes you still feel the same.

The bell finally rings, and Niki awaits for you outside your classroom when you’re done packing up. “Hey!” You greet, and Niki returns with a smile and a wave. 

“Are you excited to go eat strawberry croissants?” He asks, nudging your shoulder playfully as the two of you make your way down the hallway to your locker. You’re too busy chatting with Niki to see Jungwon waiting for you beside your locker, not to mention his nervous fidgeting of his fingers and shoes tapping on the floor repeatedly. 

“Of course I am! I miss them so much, it’s too good. If I had to pay ten dollars for one croissant, I’d still–” 

“Y/n,” Jungwon says as soon as you reach your locker, and your head turns away from Niki, meeting eyes with Jungwon. You gape, blinking once as if you hallucinated him there.

“Oh…hey, what’s up?” You ask, and you immediately pick up on Jungwon’s nervous habits that he does. You furrow your brows in concern, and you almost ask if he’s alright but Jungwon beats you. 

“Wanna go to the park right now? I got something I wanna–” 

“Y/n and I are going to the café right now, actually.” Niki interrupts, stepping forward but he’s still behind you, and you feel his chest touching your shoulder. You bite your lip as you squeeze your eyes shut, this cannot be happening right now, you think, because Niki has never really spoken up around Jungwon. You always assumed it was just because he was shy, but you start to think it’s because of other reasons. 

“Oh, well– then Y/n, café or park?” Jungwon doesn’t spare Niki a glance, his eyes are kept on you as he awaits your answer.

You want to evaporate. He might as well have said me or Niki, you think. 

You know yourself well, or at least you like to think you do. Which means you know that Jungwon will always come first to you, and that no matter what, in any universe, Jungwon will have your heart. You think he always will, and it aches to even admit it based on the empty and meaningless pining of two years for Jungwon. You got nothing in return. You feel like an idiot for even still loving Jungwon, because anyone with a sense of mind would turn the other way and move on. But you think other people just don’t understand Jungwon.

You waited for a reason, and that reason is because you know that Jungwon will eventually come around, and that when the stars align, you and Jungwon will be the end. In a way, you think Jungwon has also waited for you. He’s never failed to make you feel appreciated and loved, and even though he’s never expressed it through words, you just know. And he’s finally, finally, starting to.

“I promised Niki I’d go with him today, sorry, Jungwon. Maybe next time?” You smile, and you feel Niki relax from behind you, but you also see Jungwon’s fist clench in a tight fist by his side. 

A part of you feels bad, even though you know you shouldn’t. You waited for two years. Two years too long. If Jungwon thinks that he’d still get you after rejection for two years, he’s wrong, and you feel it’s fair if he waits for two years, and if he does, you know yourself well enough that you’d come back to him. You always do. 

Another part of you wants to cry. You have been practically dreaming of the moment Jungwon initiates anything with you, and he finally does, but you don’t accept it. Past you would absolutely cry about this, but present you feels a little giddy about focusing your time on someone who has been showing that they care about you the entire time. 

You grab onto Niki’s arm, tugging on it slightly and he takes it as his signal to leave the school building. You give a wave goodbye to Jungwon, and he’s left standing there, with a newfound dedication to wait for you. 

taglist!: @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @wonniesluvv

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[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 6 - The man in Inko’s house.

Summary: Izuku want to see his mom but he finds another man in her house instead. Also, Izuku forgets to wear a shirt to sleep.

Warnings: Izuku in his underwear, no actual suggestive content this time but there are some suggestive thoughts in there (obviously😂), swear words

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Tadaima.” Izuku mutters into your ear while he gives you a tight hug. He just came home from his last shift for the week. He’s yours for two whole days from now on, and it feels like a dream.

“I missed you.” You mutter back, your face flushed from the excitement. “I can’t wait to wake up next to you and cuddle. Then I wanna use the hot tub together…”

“Uhm, about that…” Izuku scratches the back of his head sheepishly. Oh no.

“If you tell me you are working tomorrow I swear to god I’ll cry.” You retort angrily, your arms snaking around Izuku’s middle possessively. By the look of it, Izuku really likes your new possessive side; his eyes darken as he buries his fingers in your hair, scratching your scalp to soothe your sudden anger.

“Definitely not, but… can we go to see Mom? I really miss her. Then the day after that we can… uhm… have the full day for ourselves. Just you and me. And All Meowt. And the hot tub.” Izuku’s face is slightly flushed as he says the last sentence but you can feel his excitement when his eyes shine in that adorable way it usually does when he talks about his favorite things and current obsessions, like that new new anime about the most popular girl falling in love with a random nerd. He’s absolutely obsessed with that shit, bless his little romantic ass. “I also want to formally introduce you to her. As my… my… girlfriend…” Izuku smiles shyly, his voice full of giddiness.

“Hmm…” You try to tease him, but his puppy eyes are too powerful. You have no idea how can he make such an adorable face and how can he still have baby fat on his face at his age. You can’t help yourself; you touch the soft skin, slowly stroking up and down then back up until you reach his freckles, connecting the dots with your finger, taking in the sight of them as counting them would be impossible. “Have I told you how much I adore your cheeks?” You mutter as you leave a tiny kiss on the most freckled part of his skin. “And your eyes… you are so handsome, I can’t say no to this face.”

“Says the most beautiful girl with the sweetest smile.” Izuku mumbles with his eyes downcast which makes him look like a shy school boy confessing to his first love and it’s the cutest fucking thing the world has ever seen.

Okay, this needs to stop. It’s literally past midnight and Izuku haven’t showered yet.

FOCUS.

“I’ll wait for you in bed.” You leave one tiny kiss on the greenette’s cheek and sneak out of the embrace, your steps quick as you walk towards the bedroom; you can hear Katsuki yelling “just fuck already”, loud and clear in your head but while you would absolutely love to finally have him to yourself, it’s kinda fun to tiptoe around each other; there is something about Izuku’s shyness, about the way all his touches scream innocence that makes your heart flutter and you are honestly not ready to say goodbye to that.

It doesn’t take Izuku too long to snuggle up to your back as he always does but the first thing you realize is that… he’s still kind of wet. Not too much, just the way the person skin’s feels like when they get out of the shower… wait.

Skin. Your naked shoulders are touching skin. Izuku senses how your shoulders tense and moves away from you; you murmur a silent “fuck” under your nose for being so weird about the situation, but hell, give the girl a warning, will ya?!

“Sorry, I forgot to bring a shirt with me and I’m too tired to get one but if it makes you uncomfortable…”

You hate the hesitation in Izuku’s voice.

“No, I was just surprised, it’s fine. Come back, I’m cold.” You turn to your other side, snuggling into the man’s pecks, silently thanking all the gods that it’s dark as your face is probably more red than a lobster’s. Your heart skips a beat as Izuku pulls your closer, his body flush against yours; your pajama top rode up in the motion so there is so much skin-to-skin right now your brain is about to combust. You can feel his abs through your belly; they are hard and sturdy but the skin is really soft, much softer than you’ve expected it to be; he doesn’t get many scars around that area thanks to the reinforced bullet and shockproof vest he wears under his hero costume. You have a really strong urge to feel it with your fingers, find every dip, every crevice until you remember them all even with your eyes closed but Izuku had a hard week and he’s probably tired to the bone so you decide to hide your face in his neck instead, snuggling into his warmth until you become a putty in each other’s arms.

“We should do this more often.” You murmur into his neck; you can feel him shivering as your hot breath licks his skin.

“Sweet Pea, I won’t be able to sleep if you keep doing that.” Izuku mutters shyly, his words followed by a pleased sigh.

“You haven’t slept for a week Izu, I’m quite sure you’ll manage.” You giggle but you roll back to your original position to let him have his peace tonight. Izuku doesn’t wait long before he pulls you back to him; after a few seconds his breathing evens out and he’s out like a light.

He must’ve been even more exhausted than I thought - you think to yourself as you slowly follow him to dreamland, his warmth seeping into your bones through your light pajama top.

~•🥦•~

Things you are not ready for at 9 in the morning:

- Izuku’s absolutely beautiful sleeping face.

- Izuku’s washboard abs glistering in the sunlight as he somehow manages to kick the covers off himself.

- Izuku still in bed, at 9AM. End of sentence.

Oh, and how can you forget the most important thing….

- The top of Izuku’s broccoli tattoo sticking out of his tight boxers as his gorgeous abs glisten in the sunlight at 9AM on a Saturday morning.

Izuku’s nose scrunches adorably as though somehow, he’s able to feel your eyes on him; he shifts to a new position and sighs contentedly, his hand reaching out to find you in his sleep; you sat down during your inner monologue so the only thing he could find was your upper thigh. He grabs the warm limb anyway, his face scrunched up in concentration as he’s trying to figure out what is he touching. You are half embarrassed and half amused, a tiny giggle leaves your mouth as Izuku tickles you by accident. His hand wonders around again, this time to your inner thigh and that’s when you whimper; Izuku opens his eyes to see what’s wrong and he pulls back his hand right away like your skin just burned him.

“Uhm… good… morning.” Izuku mutters, his face hidden in the pillow. Somehow, it sounded like an apology but you are glad he didn’t actually apologize; he has no reason to do so and you really want him to get to a point one day when he doesn’t feel the urge to say sorry for doing things he enjoys to do. For instance, every time his kisses get a bit rough, he apologizes, like it’s not the most normal thing in the world to get a bit unhinged while you kiss your loved one. He also says sorry when he accidentally touches the side of your… well… bosom. Or your bottom.

Okay, you can kinda understand the last two as you two haven’t really done anything too cheeky yet and Izuku wants to make sure he has your consent before doing any of that, but you would be happier if he would just ask you if he can instead of running away like a 30 year old virgin every time his finger touches a bouncy area.

Okay, how did you end up thinking about that?

Ahh, probably from the sight of his own, juicy ass in those tight black boxers.

… focus, woman.

“Really good morning indeed.” You look at Izuku’s god-like, half naked body; damn, those back muscles are (also) something else. You can’t wait to be able to ask about every single scar covering his body; there is a lot, some of them massive and brownish red - probably old burn marks while some of them are long, white and thin, almost elegant compared to the violent claw marks on his side. Some people might be put off by all the damaged skin, but honestly, they just make Izuku even more handsome in your eyes; they are the proof that Deku is a hero, a proof that he would do anything to save the innocent, to protect his city and it’s people. His back is like an abstract painting sitting in a museum; some people look at it and think “this makes no sense” but those who understand get teary eyed from all the emotions, of all the stories hidden behind the random lines of the canvas.

“Let’s… uhm… get ready. Yeah.” Izuku shuffles off the bed with a red face and you can’t help but giggle at Izuku’s awkwardness.

~•🥦•~

“So… this is it.” Izuku parks in front of a small, adorable house, right next to a small forest. You lived in Tokyo for god knows how long yet you didn’t know there was a place like this in the area; well, it’s quite far from the center to be fair and you never really felt the urge to sit on the train and go around the main city, so it makes a lot of sense. “It’s a small house, but mom didn’t want a bigger one. She said it would be too empty without me.” Izuku sighs, still affected by his mother’s bittersweet words. He’s such a mama’s boy!

“That’s so sweet.” You mutter, a little bit anxious about being here; you know there is no need for you to be stressed about today but it’s still a big step in your relationship, so of course it will affect you.

“Come on, mom will be so happy to see us!” He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the entrance, fingers intertwined as he opens the door and barges in without a single knock.

Well… Izuku clearly forgot to tell his mother that he’s coming over.

How do you know that? Because there is another man in her house. The man’s hair is blonde and messy, body skinny and fragile, a little bit unhealthy from the distance but there is a slight, healthy blush on his face which tells you he’s probably fine. His face is really kind and he was cleaning the leaves of a massive money plant when you two barged in so he’s clearly not a weirdo which makes you extremely happy because you would definitely have a few words with him otherwise. No one plays around with the innocent, naive Inko. No one.

The man looks extremely surprised first but then his face changes into a happy grin as he looks Izuku up and down with a proud smile.

“Midoriya-shounen!” The older man hops over to you two and hugs Izuku tightly. That nickname rings a bell.

“All Might!”

Wait.

Okay, wait.

No fucking way.

“All Might?!” You mutter incredulously. The blond man just smiles at you awkwardly like he’s a little bit ashamed of being outed this way but wants to make a good first impression anyway. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude or anything…”

“It’s all fine, my darling. Everyone reacts like that. You must be the famous Sweet Pea, I’m so happy to finally meet you in person.”

All Might has the kindest smile. It literally brings sunshine into the already bright house.

“Izuku, All Might is in your mom’s house!” You mutter under your nose while you ignore the world around you for a few minutes; it’s extremely hard not to freak out over the fact that you’ve just met Japan’s biggest hero - you are a nerd after all.

“Oh, yeah, why are you in mom’s house?” It seems like Izuku didn’t even realize he’s not supposed be here in the first place, he was so excited to meet his father figure again. He’s so fucking precious.

“Oh, well… my mansion was a bit too empty for the little old me, so I… moved here?”

Izuku almost chokes on her saliva while you can’t stop gawking at the blond man in front of you.

Well… that’s… an interesting plot twist.

“You are my mom’s roommate?!” Izuku yelps and you can’t help but sigh at that.

Two middle aged people sharing a house as “roommates”? You’ve never heard such a bullshit. Is Inko dating All Might?! Is that why she kept this a secret from his son even though they talk on the phone every week for literal hours?

“Inko wanted it to be a surprise, so… surprise?” All Might still talks to Izuku like he’s 15, making over-exaggerated facial expressions and you can see on Izuku’s face that he’s back to being a young boy, shy and nerdy, craving the love of a father he never had.

The whole situation might be considered weird from an outsider perspective but somehow… it just works. This family is special; they love with their whole heart, platonic or not and Inko letting his son’s role model to live in her house so he doesn’t get too lonely is such a Midoriya-thing to do that you are not even that surprised.

“I’m really happy.” Izuku mutters, tears welling up in his eyes as he hugs the thin man again. “I’m really happy, dad.”

“My boy…”

Aaaand… everyone is crying.

If this would be a fanfiction, this would be the perfect time to end this chapter as the emotions are so strong, the reader probably needs to take a breather.

“To be continued.” You giggle to yourself as you look around the house to find the missing piece; Inko, who’s hiding behind the bathroom door, crying a river as she takes the beautiful sight in front of her.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Bro I have a confession to make: I ship All Might and Inko more than I ship anyone else in this anime. I have no idea why.

- I went to a garden center and bought a plant plushie. It reminded me of the first few chapters of this story when Deku was proud of not killing a plant, but the plant was fake so I named him Deku. 😂

- Some bad news for next week: I’m taking a break for 1 week. Life has been a bit hectic around me; I went back to full-time after being a part timer for a year due to mental health issues (it’s really not as bad as it sounds I swear.), Christmas in retail sucks and it sucks even more when you work in the busiest store in the area and I also got some worrisome news from my doctor which triggered my old anxiety and I kinda need some time to sort my shit out. I already know I won’t have time to write both of my series this week and I don’t want to ruin my upcoming birthday by forcing myself to edit and write that day, but that’s the only day I’m at home this week. So yeah, I’ll be back in two weeks! Maybe even sooner, we will see how it goes.

- Have a lovely week, guys! 💜 Tell me your thoughts! 🥦

TL:  @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @kastuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai @garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #midoriya izuku x y/n #midoriya fluff #midoriya x y/n #midoriya x you #midoriya x reader #pro hero deku x reader #midoriya izuku x you #midoriya izuku x reader

[nickfowlerrr]

After the last capital…

I’ve this scenario in my head :

Bucky and you are back to the old habit and arguing about something again… but you stand on the last step of the stairs and he is done with you (he wants to go upstairs to get his phone before he would leave) and pushes you beside but as clumsy as you are, you Trip and fell.

Bucky would be so mad at him self, because you’re hurt because of him again😩😩😩😩

hurt

pretty when you cry series masterlist

pairing: pwyc!bucky x curvy!reader

warnings: not really any? let me know if i need to add something pls! this fic is part of a series, and if you plan on reading it, please, please, please use caution and read all of the warnings!

words: 1.8k

notes: ten thousand years later lol thank you for sending this in! honestly i don't see pwyc!bucky even just lightly shoving reader especially after he made her fall last time lmao he's much more likely to just pick you up and move you out of his way instead but for the sake of the prompt, let's just go with it. <3 i'm on my laptop, so no emojis :(

"Where are you going?" you asked tensely, running around him to block his way to the stairs, the worry in your voice was evident, and even if it hadn't been, you knew he could sense the stress you were feeling. You stood on the last step, not letting him walk up the stairs. "You're not even trying to see things from my perspective," you accused, fully on the defensive.

He was fuming, blue eyes near scorching as he stared you down, jaw set and nostrils flaring. You knew you were edging too far, but you couldn't stop yourself, you couldn't let this go without being able to explain.

"How the fuck did you think I'd feel about this?"

You balked.

"I didn't- I, I don't," you fumbled for the right words, for an explanation but deep down you knew the truth. He had every right to be angry and you had no excuse. You knew how he'd feel about it, and that's why you tried to keep it from him.

"I'm not doing this with you right now," he bit out, moving to push past you. You were going to move to give him space to get past, not wanting to upset him anymore than you already had, but as you sidestepped, your socks slide on the wooden step and unsteadied you right when Bucky stepped up. His arm bumping into you when you were already off kilter and slipping on the step had you falling completely.

Your arm flailed out to grab onto the railing, trying to right yourself, but it did more harm than good as your feet slipped off the step. You had turned your body while trying to grab the rail and so instead of your ass hitting the stairs, your hip hit the edge of the step below you hard as you fell with a thud, and your elbow near simultaneously making contact with the step above you in the fall.

It happened in a second, and though he saw you wobbly, Bucky didn't help get you steady before you fell, assuming you'd get your balance. The instant he realized you weren't stopping yourself, it was too late to grab you.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he stormed, madder at himself for letting you fall now than he was about the argument.

"Ow," you huffed under your breath, grabbing your elbow and you sat up on the step, not bothering to look up at him. He was moving before you even registered him getting closer, pulling you up by your arm to stand. You were too embarrassed and maybe a little too scared to meet his eye, rubbing your elbow again when he let go of his hold on your arm.

You could feel his eyes dead set on you but still, you kept yours to the ground, swallowing thickly.

"Bucky, I'm sorry," you apologized, dejected. "My mom stopped asking about my love life a long time ago and I just- I don't know, I never thought to bring it up. It's not something I'm used to sharing-" you tried to explain before he cut you off.

"Stop," Bucky said harshly, your voice dying immediately.

You dared to peek up at him and were met with a torn look in his normally brighter blues. There was anger and hurt, and if you weren't reading into things, you'd say there might be regret, too.

"Are you okay?"

"I- yeah. I'm fine," you answered, uneasily.

He looked at you a moment longer before he continued up the stairs. You stood there not knowing what to do, considering following him or just leaving him be until he was willing to talk. You didn't come to a decision before he came back down not thirty seconds later. He'd shrugged his jacket on as he came down the steps and your breathing caught in your throat, heart rate picking up. Where was he going?

His narrowed eyes shot to you, and judging by the look you saw there, it was clear he was obviously still upset. "I'm going to the gym."

As he passed you, you grabbed his arm and he stopped on the bottom step you had previously been occupying. You were a step above him, allowing you to be about eye level with him as you meekly met his eye. You opened your mouth to say something but closed it when you accepted you shouldn't.

His glare eased up just the slightest as he considered you before he spoke again.

"I'm pissed off," he glowered as he said your name harshly, "I don't need your reasons why, I really don't want to fucking hear it.

I can't be around you right now. We're either going to end up fighting or fucking and either way you're gonna get hurt, because I am pissed the fuck off," he nearly snarled the reiteration. "So we're not doing this right now," he kept walking and you let go of his arm, watching solemnly as he grabbed his keys and headed for the front door.

"I love you," you quavered pathetically as he pulled open the door, stepping outside. He paused just a moment.

"Do you?" he shot you a heartbreaking look as you floundered at his response. Of course you did. He knew that. He felt it, undeniably. But, his words served their purpose. You fucked up and you hurt him. And he wasn't going to just let you off the hook this time and comfort you and tell you all was forgiven. It was the same thing time and time again. He needed you to deal with the fallout, alone, to get you to see that.

As soon as he shut the door behind him, he wanted to change his mind, go back inside, or at the very least tell you he loved you, too. But he couldn't.

He meant what he said earlier. He'd already let you get hurt on the stairs when he didn't help you the moment he saw you start to slip, something he never would've let happen if he wasn't so caught up in the anger and hurt swirling around in his head. If he stayed and you fought, he knew he'd say something without thinking and only make matters worse; and even if you didn't fight, he knew he'd be on you in an instant with the pent up emotions he was trying to keep at bay so he didn't go off on you completely. And he couldn't trust himself not to take things too far with you. You'd nearly passed out on him the last time you had anger fueled sex, he could still remember the nasty bruises he hadn't meant to leave you littered all over your skin and how sore you were for the few days after. The orgasms were incredible, but he didn't want to risk injury to you just to release some of the frustration he was feeling. That's what the boxing gym was for.

You'd talk when he got home and was a little more level headed, and hopefully you'd have come to a decision on what you were going to tell your family. He couldn't wrap his head around why you'd never so much as mentioned his name to them in the year since you'd been together. Like he was your dirty little secret, something you were ashamed of. The first few months he could understand, not even taking into consideration that you were soulmates and that should have prompted a quicker reveal to your family, but a whole year? He'd spoken to your sister multiple times when she'd facetime you and the entire time, she had no clue you and him were together. He wanted to know what lies you'd been telling her to avoid admitting the truth, but he knew that'd probably only piss him off more. He needed the time to cool off before he went back and had that conversation with you.

---------------------------------------------

The door to your room opened gently as you glanced at the time, wanting to gripe about him coming home so late, but knowing you had no right to be the one who was upset tonight. You sat up and turned the bedside lamp on to give him some light. You nibbled your lip as you watched him, his hair was damp and he was dressed in a new change of clothes. He had his gym bag with him as he dropped it heavily by the closet, certainly needing to pack it with a new post workout outfit for the next time he would decide to shower at the gym, like he obviously had tonight.

Probably killing time before he inevitably had to come home to see you. Another flood of guilt and regret rolling through you.

"I told them," you informed him softly, his eyes glancing over to you before he walked toward the bed, his face not betraying whatever it was he was feeling. "And I'm sorry-"

"Shhhh."

You obeyed his wordless request as he climbed into his side of the bed, your eyes intent on his every move.

"I'm exhausted, and I'm not ready to talk about this tonight," he said as he moved the blanket to lay down. "Just come here," he coaxed with a huff, pulling you closer. You were pouting without even realizing it. There was a lot you wanted to say, but you stayed quiet. If he still needed time before he wanted to talk, you had to be okay with that.

As he pulled you closer, you wrapped your arms around him, cuddling into him, having sorely needed his comfort from the second he'd left earlier.

He sighed heavily as he rested his hand on your hip, you winced almost imperceptibly, but of course he caught it. He rubbed at your hip carefully as you laxed into him, his touch soothing.

"I'm sorry I made you fall," he apologized, placing a tender kiss on your forehead.

"'S not your fault,"

"Me bumping into you is what made you slip,"

"My socks made me slip. Granted, the nudge certainly didn't help, but," you smiled soft and fleeting. "I'm fine. Not your fault."

There was a moment of silence between you then before Bucky broke it.

"I'm still upset at you."

You knew he was, but hearing him say it out loud somehow made your guilt ten times worse. You tried to pull away, wanting to give him space, but he held you tighter. "No, don't," he told you.

You stopped trying and instead buried your head in his chest as he held you. "We'll talk in the morning," he said, and you nodded against him in agreement. He turned the lamp out and when he settled down again, you tilted your head up so your lips were just against his ear.

"I do love you," you whispered before placing a soft kiss to his stubbled cheek. You settled against him once again, his arms holding you as your head laid on his chest.

"I know," he said, his hands running up and down your back. "And I love you. Now go to sleep," he rumbled as he fixed the blanket around your bodies, content to rest in your mutual embrace for the night.

You had a lot to discuss come morning.

#bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky x curvy!reader #bucky barnes x plus size!reader #bucky x plus size!reader #pwyc!bucky x curvy!reader #pwyc series #bucky barnes x reader #biker!bucky x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes drabble

[jaketsparrow]

Tending Part 5!

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f! Reader

Word Count: 11.1K

A/N: Sorry I just had to tease you guys today and make you wait :) Again, I’m so very sorry this took a while, I just had a lot going on! I hope you enjoy the chaos of this chapter, my mind reallyyyy just went wild. 

Another special shout out to @gvfpal for being amazing and getting the first dibs on this piece! Thanks for always listening to my crazy ideas :) 

MINORS DNI

MENTIONS OF/ TW: Sexual content (of course), unprotected sex (Don’t do this!), angst, swearing, Dom! Jake, restraints, possible orgasm denial, impact play, etc, it’s filth. 

Masterpost

Driving lately has become a weird buffer zone in your life. Every time you get into the car your thoughts just start running. It feels like stepping out of your life momentarily; like you are closed off from your own world. It was like being in your own TV show and watching the recap of the last episode. It’s safe, isolating, and a place to let your thoughts just go. 

As usual, your thoughts go to Jake. He has consumed your entire mind. You were once happy being alone; in fact, you preferred it. Every man you’ve dated in the past year or so hasn’t been someone to take home to the family. Honestly, neither was Jake yet, but there was something different about him. Jake was different than any man you had been with, you felt like he did care for you, but he just didn’t know how. It was like he was a confused little kid who didn’t know whether to kick his mom or hug her when she came home from a long day away. 

You’ve never found yourself weak or needing a man, but Jesus fucking Christ, you needed Jake. Every time you’re in his presence you can’t help but feel your heart rate rise, feel the need growing between your legs… He just had this majestic siren song that you keep falling for. You’ve accepted at this point that Jake was right, he will never be the perfect boyfriend, let alone the perfect man. He was protective of you and did care for you, but he would never let you know that without a fight. 

“Pants off, now.” He commands. 

Oh.

Did he really just?... 

He’s standing over you with this stupid judging face. You don’t want to obey him, but your body is telling you other things. Your heartbeat has traveled from your chest down between your legs, pulsing at the thought of fucking him again. You feel frozen in this state of complete lust. Last night’s extravagance deprived you of his cock, and now… that’s all you want.

Clearly annoyed by your hesitation, Jake scoffs and reaches down to your waist. He wraps his arms around your midsection and lifts you over his shoulder. Your core cuts into his shoulders as he hoists you over him. You feel like a ragdoll trying to manipulate your way out of his grasp.

“Jake!” You whimper, trying to wiggle yourself into a more comfortable position.

“You really ought to learn to fucking listen to me.” His open palm meets your clothed ass, providing a cushioned, but still stinging smack. You yelp, quite loudly, surprised by his actions. He turns his head to look at your defeating position, “You’re in big fucking trouble now.” 

There he was. The Jake you have been craving. The Jake that surprised you your first night together. The Jake who you always secretly wanted, but were also a little scared of. This version of him was almost completely heartless, using you as he pleased. You become his plaything when this persona switches on. And you enjoy every minute of it. 

He loops his fingers underneath the waistband of your sweats and yanks them off in one vigorous pull. Your ass is now on full display. You reach below his shirt and rake your nails across his lower back, trying any means to rile him up further. 

Jake winces through gritted teeth, “You’re such a fucking whore.” 

“And you fucking love it,” You cry.

Another open-handed smack breaches your ass; another yelp fires out of you. This one is sure to leave a mark. 

“You’re gonna wish you were good.” 

He starts his walk to the bedroom, and you continue to try to wiggle free of him. His grip is firm on you and the position he’s burdened you with provides no leverage to win. Although you really don’t want to be set free, it’s more fun not to completely comply with 

his whims. 

He approaches the bed and throws you down with a brute but controlled force. Your head falls back into the mattress you neatly made not that long ago. You reach your hands out to brace yourself from breaking. The fabric bunching up in your fists. 

“Hey! I just made this!” You chime.

Speaking at that moment was something you instantly regretted. 

Jake is standing over you, breathing hot and heavy. The tension in the air is thick and you know what you have gotten yourself into now. His demeanor is fierce, brow furrowed and eyes glaring through you. His hands are balled up by his sides and you can see the rigidity in his body. Behind his eyes, his brain is wracking through plans of what to do with you, his disobedient girl. 

You slide your legs up and down the mattress, nervous and excited about what he is thinking of. You run your hands down your stomach, trying to entice him to do something, do anything to you. Anything he wanted. You slowly part your legs, presenting yourself to him. 

“No. You don’t deserve that.” He barks, “If you think any of this will be for your pleasure… You’re delusional.”

“...Jake.” You beg. 

He reaches down towards your head, sending his fingers through your scalp and to the back of your neck, whipping you up, tugging his fingers on your hair. He leans closer to your face, still hovering over you. 

“Not.” A harsh pull at the back of your head puts you eye to eye with his looming presence. “My,” Another wincing pull tearing at your scalp, “fucking name.”

Jake holds you in his grip, dominating you completely. You feel defenseless, like an injured bird, waiting for him to care for you, but he doesn’t. 

“Please! Please, sir!” You beg. 

He releases you from his grip and your neck snaps back up to its rightful place. 

“Color.” He demands. 

You look up to him, eyes fierce and ready. “Green.”

Jake grabs your jaw, resting his grip along the bone, “You are mine right now. I didn’t give everything up for you to be flirting with my fucking twin. Do you understand me?”

You nod your head vigorously, feeling the shame settling in you. Who knew you could feel ashamed and horny all at the same time. 

“Words.” He orders.

You swallow any shame and try your best to put it aside; it wouldn’t help you now.

 “Yes, sir.” You mewl.

His hands move to the side of your neck, holding your jaw firmly with his thumb. 

“You know what you should be doing right now.” 

He guides your eyes down to look at the growing bulge in his pants. He seems harder than ever before, completely drunk on his own control. You look up at him through heavy eyes, scared. You’ve been here before. You need to please him again. 

Jake releases his hand from your jaw and moves it to run his fingers through the top of your head, coaxing you to get started. Gently placing your hand on his cock, you try to gently stroke him through his clothes. 

He fists your hair into his fingers, “No, no teasing. You don’t get to do that right now.” 

There would be absolutely no option for control for you. No teasing, any brattiness would come with a consequence. Jake steps back and leaves a bare spot on the carpet in between you two. His hand pushes you forward, launching your feet onto the rug, and then onto your knees. He releases his hand from your scalp and starts unzipping his pants. 

You are completely silent; compliant with his wishes. Waiting for his instructions. Your head rises to watch his cock slide out from his boxer briefs. It was daunting to see him like this, completely full, swollen even, bigger than you ever thought he was before. His right-hand grips around the solid skin, slowly stroking. His other hand reaches out to grab your cheeks, holding your mouth open in an ‘o’ shape. 

Your eyes graze up his body to meet his eyes. The chocolate brown irises are almost unrecognizable in this position. His dominating stature shines over you, completely taking over you. You can feel your excitement growing beneath you, but there is nothing you can do about that. The warmth that was blossoming between your legs would be shut until your turn if you were even allowed one. 

He loosens his grip around your jaw, resting his hand under your chin. 

His velvety tone sweeps into the air, relinquishing any uncertainty you had, “If you need me to stop,” Three taps of his fingers rap gently across your jaw, “Just do that, okay? Tap three times.”

“I won’t need to stop.”

A complete surge of neediness consumes you. You need him, you need to make him feel special, to remind him that you were going to be the woman he would never forget. You take your hands from your lap and fly them to his body. One hand grips into his thigh and the other takes its position around the base of his shaft. You nearly knock him over in the act, sending him into pure bliss. Almost taking him out of his command, shocking him with your ability to be the whore he wanted you to be. 

“Fuck…” He cries. “My fucking little slut couldn’t even wait-”

You slide your mouth as far as you can down his shaft, gagging yourself on all of him. His body shudders below your hand and you feel proud of your ability to melt him as much as he does to you. 

It doesn’t take too many wet strokes for him to finally gather himself back. His hand reoccupies the back of your head, trying to chase that same feeling again. Your mouth is shoved with as much of him as you can take, almost too much to handle. It’s worth the praise, you tell yourself. Take all of him now, and get all the rewards you can. 

“You’re taking me so well.” He says in gravely tones. 

You truly weren’t, you were choking him down, barely hanging on. Tears streaming down your eyes. You try to shoot your best doe eyes up at him, begging for him to have enough. You were reaching your limit, pushing yourself to a new maximum. 

Your head kept bobbing rhythmically against him, trying to hold him deep in your throat. You were doing things you didn’t even know your body was capable of. 

“My best little whore looks so good down there, sucking my cock.”

A swift and hard push of the back of your head launches you as far as you can take Jake, knocking your nose into his lower stomach. 

Three taps.

Fuck. You did need to stop. 

Jake slides out of your mouth as you cough heavily, gasping for air. You collapse your head, trying to stabilize yourself. Deep breaths. 

Jake tucks himself back into his pants and tries to assess the situation. He bends down to you, bringing his face down to yours; sweeping the hair out of your face. The switch was flipped, he was going into protective mode. 

“Sunshine.” He whimpers. You try to hold back your coughs and lift your head to his. He pushes the last strand of hair out of your eyes, “Are you okay?”

You nod your head, holding your breath in fear that more wheezes are going to escape. One deep breath through your nose clears the burning tickle in your throat. 

“Yes, I’m okay. Keep going.” 

His face lights up with your permission. The classic Jake smirk runs across his lips, almost a full smile revealing his excitement. 

“Good girl.” 

The words melt you. Any bit of praise was going to keep you going; it was going to make you need him more. 

He lifts you slowly back onto the bed, trying his best to be gentle only for this moment. He sprawls you out onto your back and sits next to you. 

The slowdown of all the action, the passion, is getting to you. He’s treating you like a weak girl, but you weren’t. He just took you by surprise. You wouldn’t let that one moment take away the Jake you had been craving. 

“C’mon, are you going to fuck me?” The words sputter out of you, only half confident, but still ringing strong through the air. 

Jake snaps his neck to scowl at you. There it was. 

His arm travels to your neck, holding you in place, once again choking for air, “What if I’ve had enough of you today? What then?” 

What if? Would he still be here if he did?

“You fucking want it and you know it… You’ve been thinking of it since last night. Seeing my cunt all soaked and not getting to feel it for yourself.” 

Who the fuck just said that? A month ago those words wouldn’t have even been something you would be comfortable thinking, let alone saying out loud. 

Your vile words shock Jake as well; you can feel the grip on your neck waiver a moment as he processes. And then. Well.

“You think you fucking know it all? My little slut thinks she knows me better, huh? I think it’s you that’s been craving my cock. You could barely wait your turn to fucking choke on it. You’re dying for me to fuck you. You’ve been naughty, trying to get me to take you. Being a little whore in front of me. Now you can wait.”

Jake stands up, and for a moment you’re actually worried he’s about to walk out of the room. Instead, he reaches for your left ankle and yanks it to the corner of the bed, the sheets sliding you across the mattress. 

“Shirt off.” He orders, and you comply instantly. 

He rounds the edge of the bed and grabs your wrist next, pulling it up by the pillow you slept on last night. With his other hand, he reaches deep into the side of the mattress between the bed frame and pulls out a restraint. It’s a soft cuff with velcro to hold it together. He holds it out for you so you can see. 

“Green?” He asks, eager for your answer.

“Fucking yes.”

A rip of velcro and then the cuff is wrapped around your wrist. You softly tug at the restraint, noticing it wasn’t going to be easy to break out of it, but you guess that was the point. 

Two more rips and soon your ankles are loosely restrained to the corners of the frame. You have more movement with your legs than your hand, but still would not be able to break free of the cuffs. 

He walks around the bed to the other side, surveying your naked body. Taking in each inch with his gaze. He was going to be the predator, and you the helpless prey. 

One last rip of velcro and the other cuff wraps around your wrist. Once he’s satisfied with the cuffs, he walks over to stand directly in front of you, watching you test each limb for movement. 

“What if I just left you like this? Just stood here and watched you beg for my cock.” The words are cold and cruel. You can feel the fire, no, the need burning in you with the thought of not having him. 

“No! Please, please. I need you. I want you.” You beg mercilessly. 

“So much for all that back talk before, huh? ‘Please’” He mocks. “I’m not so convinced you’re ready to be good yet.”

The need is gathering through your stomach, down between your legs. There was no way to hide the slickness that was starting; he would be able to see all of you.  

“Please!” You gasp, “I can be good, I promise sir… Just please fuck me. Fuck me, Sir!”

“Hmmm…” He drops his hands down on the mattress, staring you down, watching you writhe through the desire. “You don’t deserve anything. Trying to make me upset, trying to tease me, such a fucking whore today.”

The words coming from him are completely a facade. He knows he wants this now. He’s in too deep. He loves to see you like this, completely helpless; completely his. You have more of a say in this than he wants you to know. But you know what to do. You know the games he likes to play. 

“Please, baby. I know. I was such a bad girl… I’m a dirty slut. I fucked up. You can be mad at me, please… please just take me, I want to make you happy.” 

He watches you for a brief moment, letting the pleads hang in the air. His eyes are lit with an insatiable lust. He wanted it. He wanted it bad. He may be able to mask it with his words, but his body tells a completely different story. He pushes himself off of the mattress and begins to undress himself. Teasing you with each reveal of his tanned skin. 

First his shirt. The edges of the fabric slowly climb their way up his gorgeous soft stomach. It was like a curtain lifting at the beginning of a show, each inch elevating your excitement for the first act. 

The silence was eating at you. What was he thinking? What was he going to do…

“Please, Please…” You implore. 

Next is his zipper, slowly sliding down to once again, reveal his bulging, practically jumping cock. The sight of it is sending you into a ferality. You pull against the restraints, trying to lift yourselves towards it. Paying no mind to the forces holding you back, you try to reach for him.  

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” He growls, “So impatient.” 

Pleading moans erupt out of you. You feel like you’re being withheld from the thing you want most, well, because you are. You feel your core tightening. His sultry, teasing behavior is absolute torture. 

“I need you! I need it, please!” 

Slowly, the remainder of his clothes fall off of his body, revealing his perfect stature. His body looks like it’s carved with absolute perfection and care. Each edge is softly rounded, ready to be touched. 

He crawls across the bed, bringing his head close to your aching cunt. His breath permeates your skin. He reaches one finger up to your lower stomach, slowly dragging it from your navel to your clit. You’re whimpering with each movement he makes. 

“Is this...” He finally plants his finger firmly onto your bundle of nerves, shocking every muscle in your body, “What you want?” 

“Yes, yes, yes…” The words are echoing out of you, pressing for more. 

“You’ve been very good, surrendering to me. You know your a bad girl, right? That I’m being extremely forgiving for even taking you this far.” 

“Yes, sir…” 

His tongue crashes into you, at first wide and spreading you, then narrowing onto your needy clit. The first pass over you sends you into complete shock, you can’t do anything but feel. The restraints prevent you from being at all distracted by anything but his soft, precise movements. 

He builds his pace, tasting everything of you that he can. 

“Oh poor thing, you can’t even help it.” He teases, “You just have to take it all.” 

“I want it all…” It’s getting harder to even form sentences. All you can think about is his face on you, completely drenching you. His tongue exploring each fold, each sensitive spot. You feel the tightness, the excitement rushing through you. Your legs shaking, arms fighting against the restraints. Labored moans fighting their way out. 

“Oh, well that won’t do.” He stops everything, denying you the release you were feeling so close to, “I’m sorry sunshine, but this is for my pleasure. Remember?” 

You whine, exasperated cries spilling into the air. 

“Are you being ungrateful?” 

A flat-handed smack splays across your swollen cunt. You lift your neck to watch it all happen. The evil smirk splayed across Jake, the hand meeting your skin, the soft gasps escaping your lips. 

“Color?” He asks. 

You think for a moment, “Green.”

Another soft blow swats at you, absolutely wrecking your body. Each blow feels like a shock wave of filthy pleasure. 

“Fuck…” This moment felt so dirty. Felt so good. He always pushed you to new levels of pleasure. 

He wastes no time at this point. He can’t wait any further to feel you. He knows he can’t hold out on you any longer. 

Jake pushes himself up on the mattress and starts to slowly pump himself. A steady stream of spit falls from his lips onto his cock, lubricating himself. 

“Are you ready for this?” He asks, most likely not caring how ready you are, it just means he was ready. 

You nod your head, unable to even fathom the force he will bring to you. 

“Words.” He commands. 

You strain to focus yourself, “Please just fuck me.” 

He reaches over to the corners of the bed, releasing your ankles from the restraints, but leaving your hands in their disciplinary holds. 

He grabs your hips and lifts you to line up with him. His cock blows into you, straight to the hilt. You moan loudly, almost graphically. He squeezes his thumbs into your sides, stabilizing himself. Low grunts come through his gritted teeth.

He isn’t giving you any mercy, pounding himself into you. Each drill pushes further and further into you, breaking you in two. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” You groan. 

“Yeah? My little slut likes getting fucked like this?” He asks. 

“She’d like it a lot more if you were harder,” You reply through choked breaths. 

You don’t need to beg much for this. 

“That’s why you’re my fucking favorite.” 

Jake assumes his hand on your neck, gripping you tightly. You thought he was going hard before, but this was unreal. Each pump into you provided a harsh blow to your body. It was calculated, menacing, everything you fucking wanted. 

You feel him fill you entirely, your cunt consuming every inch of his unyielding cock. You feel yourself already losing control, building to climax. He feels so good, better than ever before. You both feel confident in each other, and you both know how to get each other to the highest high. 

“Oh, you think you deserve to come?” 

Fuck. 

“Please!” You beg. “Please sure, please.” 

He looks deeply into your desperate eyes. He can see the absolute terror of being denied. You feel like maybe he might give in, might let you get there. You know how close you are and you can feel him getting there too. You risk it all. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, holding him into you, preventing him from escaping. 

“You fucking-” 

You both gasp in unison, reaching your orgasms just moments after the other. Jake lowers himself by your ear, uttering complete pornographic moans. It feels intimate to hear him like this, to hear how happy you’ve made him. 

Your body shudders underneath him, clenching around his softening body. Your restricting hold increases every tightening muscle in your core, lifting your back completely off of the mattress. Feelings of butterflies flurry through your body, starting from your satisfied cunt, down through your legs. 

You both mix within yourself, feeling your body flood with him. 

“You fucking slut.” He chokes out. 

You giggle in his ear, “Admit it, Jake, you fucking love it.” 

Instead of feeling excitement for your destination, you just feel uneasy. You could feel the sweat slickening the steering wheel the harder you gripped it. Deep down, there was a part of you that wished you didn’t agree to go see the band. 

The last time you interacted with Josh, it left Jake feeling jealous. He truly had no right to be jealous of you just making friends. But now, there was some lingering destructive intent. You wanted him to feel that way; as petty as that was of you. You were always the one chasing after Jake, begging him for attention, begging to be the only one. That morning with the twins was your opportunity to give him a taste of how it feels to be you. 

That point didn’t entirely come off to him, instead, the argument just led to more intense angry sex. That was always going to be the best way for you two to get in the mood. 

You hate knowing that Jake can get out of any argument by getting you fired up. At least you knew that all these arguments could in theory just be your foreplay, not ever real fights. It made you feel diminished, but then again, he would always find a way to make everything up to you by the end. 

Jake and his stupid, stupid apologies were going to kill you someday.

You both knew you had work that night, so Jake opted to drive you home so you could get ready. The morning and early afternoon flew by at his house. You were quite exhausted at that point and were ready to wash away the very sinful acts that still lingered on your skin. 

You didn’t have much time to prepare yourself for the shift and had to rush through your usual routine. Shower. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Get out the door. The whole hour went by in a blur. 

And just as usual, you pull through the cavernous parking lot of fleets and find your always unoccupied spot in the back. You still manage to arrive before Jake, whose car was missing from the lot. You turn off the engine and head into the back door. The kitchen is busy, with loud clanging and shouts emerging from behind the hallway walls. 

You drop your bag and head out to the main floor. Chris is nowhere to be seen yet, and the only other employee you can see is… of course. Mariella. 

She’s wearing this shit-eating grin talking to the regulars. You feel a wave of disgust run over you and you have to try and control yourself from letting your emotions get the best of you. The last time you saw her she was trying to fuck up your relationship with Jake, and well… She succeeded. You can’t let her do that to you. You can’t let your jealousy burn through what you have with him. He chose you, and you chose him. 

Breathe through it, let it go, and kill that bitch with kindness. 

You walk to the bar and hop under the counter, joining her behind the bar. She doesn’t turn to acknowledge you as you clock in. It all feels so middle school. You pretend she doesn’t exist, and she’ll probably do the same. 

The dishwasher beeps and you run over to start emptying the glasses. She pops her head over to look at you briefly but turns back to continue flirting with the 40-year-old in front of her. 

You’re extremely annoyed, but continue to complete your chores; well technically hers. Where the fuck is Jake? And why the fuck is she still behind the bar? 

“Hey girl,” Hearing her voice is like the equivalent of drinking lemon juice. It’s bitter, soured, and ultimately- unpleasant. 

You don’t even bother to look back at her, instead zeroing in on the steamy glasses. 

“So,” She starts, “I hope I didn’t fuck things up with you and Jake.” 

You snap your head to look at her, trying your best to display how uncomfortable you are in her presence. 

She’s so fake. Of course, she hopes she fucked things up. She manipulated you with the perfect words to turn on Jake. You continue to pull the glasses out of the dishwasher, lining them up on the counter to be put away.

“No things are fine. We talked it out. He said he’s done with all the temporary girls.” You glare back at her. 

Being petty is fun. 

“Aw, well I’m so glad to hear it babes,” She rests her hand on your shoulder and breezes past you out from behind the bar. “Oh and don’t worry, I closed out all my tabs.” 

The rage is filling in you. You felt brave at this moment, ready to settle any sort of anger you felt with her. 

“Mariella.” She stops to turn, just a few feet away from the counter. You stride over to the corner of the bar, separating you two with the counter. “What you did…” Your voice and bravery is starting to trail off when the reality of the situation was setting in, “What you did was fucked up. You knew I liked him before you did anything with him. When I finally got my chance you chose to be a backstabber and try to kill my dream. That’s not what friends do.”

Her face hasn’t changed through any of your words. A scowl is burned across her brow, “Who said we were friends?” 

Her words take you back. You thought you had been friends. You had worked at Fleets together for over a year now and had spent many nights together drinking and complaining about the shithole bar. Now she was denying it all? 

No. You can’t let her keep getting to you. You can’t let her make you second guess yourself anymore. 

“No, you don’t get to do that to me anymore Mariella. You don’t get to make me feel like shit. So what you had Jake first? So what you don’t want to be my friend? I am not jealous of you anymore, and you can’t make me feel second class just because your tits are bigger and you can seduce any of these losers in this bar. I won. I get Jake.” 

Mariella bursts out laughing, almost in tears. “Whatever! You won! Great for you. Hope you enjoy it all. Good luck with that mess of a human! I hope you’re very happy together.” 

She continues laughing to herself as she walks into the back office. 

That wasn’t the satisfying ending you wanted. 

You pull into a spot in front of the venue. The parking lot was dimly lit and full of cars. People lingered in front of the door, chatting, sharing cigarettes, waiting for something exciting to happen. 

The band had already been here for an hour or so setting up; probably having some pre-show drinks to loosen up. Even though they don’t go on for another twenty or so minutes, you decide it is better to leave earlier than to just sit idly waiting in your apartment. But now that you were here, and were early, you don’t want to go in until it’s time for their set to start. 

You feel your heart climbing into your throat. You truly didn’t think you would still get anxious over these things, but after everything that’s happened this week, it feels like walking on glass. 

You press your hands into your face and try to regulate the fear permeating through you. You try your best to flush it away, remembering you’re only here to support the band. You can’t let Jake’s jealousy control you forever. Whatever happens, happens. 

Jake walks through the back and heads towards the bar. As soon as he sees you a huge smile appears on his face. Was he actually happy to see you, or was he just thinking about what you both did just hours before? Either way, you smile back. The cheerful appearance of him is making you blush. Everything starts to feel real like never before. 

The back office door opens again and you see Mariella waltz out to the back. Chris appears in the doorway, making direct eye contact with you. Shit. Did she just tattle on you for being mean to her? Why does every interaction with her feel like high school all over again? 

Chris brings his hand up to wave you towards him, one finger inching in his direction. An audible sigh escapes your lips. Jake jostles to the bar and hops over the counter with incredible agility. 

“What the fuck?” You ask, completely perplexed at his insane amount of energy. 

He laughs, knowing how strange his action must have been. He walks past you, quickly uttering, “You make me feel like a whole new man baby.”

You would be inclined to jump onto him and mount him right there if you knew your boss wasn’t also staring you down from the other room. You try your best to acknowledge Jake, while still slipping away. 

“Oh good, you needed a new personality,” You joke, slipping out from the bar, “One sec, I’ll be right back.” 

“Screw you!” He sarcastically jeers from the POS system. 

You awkwardly jog over to the office door, letting yourself in. Chris is already back in his seat at his corner desk. He looks defeated, and well, really annoyed. His hand is sprawled across the right side of his face, holding his shaking head. You close the door behind you, trying to make him aware of your presence. 

“Sit,” he barks, pointing at the spare dining room seat opposite to him. 

You gingerly sit down on the cold wooden chair and try to sit up straight, holding yourself as professionally as you can. 

“What the fuck is going on?” His words cut the air. 

What situation is he even talking about?

“With?” You ask, surveying for him to give you more. 

Chris sighs and leans back into his chair, resting his clasped hands over his beer belly, “Listen, you’ve always been a fine employee. You show up, you do what you need to, and you leave. But I don’t deal with fucking drama. I don’t deal with he said she said, she’s dating him, he’s into her, bullshit. That’s why I put the rules in place.”

Ohhh what the fuck? What the hell is he even talking about? Mariella totally fucking tattled on you- to your boss of all people! 

You angle yourself forward, your face painted with confusion, “Okay, first off, I don’t know what to say to any of that, second of all, what rule?” 

“The no dating other employees rule.” The what? Chris continues, “Jake knew about it... I had a conversation with him about it. And yet we still have bullshit! And I really don’t fucking want bullshit.”

“Hold on, hold on,” You brace your hands out, trying to slow Chris, “Why am I just hearing of this rule now?”

Chris drops his hands, “I dont know. I just… I thought you were a lesbian.”

Your face drops and utter shock goes through your body. “Chris-”

“What? You were always hanging around Mariella and never had a boyfriend and only flirted with the ladies.” He throws his hands up trying to save this conversation he has so clearly lost. 

“Chris… Just because I’m not trying to suck face with the forty-year-old alcoholics out there, does not mean I’m a fucking lesbian.” You bury your face in your hands, completely over this entire interaction, “You have to tell all the employees the rules. Even if I was gay, what if I dated one of the other girls here?” 

“Listen… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, okay? But bottom line, Jake knew.”

“Okay,” You trail off, “So…? Sounds like you’re getting at something else here Chris.”

Chris squares himself, leaning his hands into his thighs, “Well… Either you two,” he motions with hands a cut across his throat, “You know, end it. Or, one of you has to go. We’ve had struggles with this in the past. You both are great bartenders, but that can all change when you start getting into little spats and fighting in the bar.”

Little does he fucking know… 

“So, you want me to end my relationship, which I don’t even know if it is a real relationship or not-”

Chris moans, “God. I don’t care what it is-”

“Or you want me to quit?” The words feel sour and morose. 

Chris stands up, trying to get out of the unpleasant exchange. He walks over to rest his hand on your shoulder. A sad, looming expression dawns on him. 

“Doesn’t have to be you, kid.”

He goes to open the door, letting the light of the bar flood through the office. You can feel the tears forming in your eyes. A slight choke sits at the back of your throat. Everything that has to do with Jake and you always is a fucking disaster.

Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can’t you just have it easy? Why can’t Jake just be yours and you be his? What does everyone have against you two? Is this a bigger sign that maybe he just can’t be with you?...

“Chris,” You beg, “Can I just talk to him for a few minutes?”

He shakes his fist and tries his hardest to let go of any frustration, “Fine, but make it quick I hate that regular.”

And the same as he did with you, he waves Jake over to the office. Jake tilts his head like a sad puppy and quickly jogs out from behind the bartop. He strolls into the hallway, and Chris brushes past him to go take his place. 

The tears are still welling in your eyes and you can’t quite regulate your breathing. The frustration and anger you feel for Chris’ stupid policy is mixing with the dissatisfaction of Jake once again withholding information from you. 

“Sunshine?” He asks confused. 

You grab his hand and pry him into the office, closing the door behind him.

“Sit,” You plead. 

Now the roles were reversed. You try your best to compose yourself and consume all the sad emotions that were begging you to crawl out. 

Jake sits in the same chair as you did, “What?-”

“Jake.” Breathe. Don’t take it too far, “Did Chris inform you of a certain… No dating other employees rule?” 

He shifts awkwardly in the chair, obviously trying to avoid the interrogation, “Well, yeah, but-”

“Please… Please don’t say we’re not in one, because that will fucking kill me right now.” Your voice is breaking.

He sinks back into the chair. For the first time, he seems… hurt.

“I wasn’t going to-”

“Jake if you knew, why didn’t you tell me? Now I’ve got Chris telling me one of us has to quit or we… or we… you know…”

He runs his hand through his hair and turns to face you head-on. He reaches out for your hands, and you half haphazardly return them into his grasp. 

“I didn’t want you to not consider us an option. So I didn’t say anything.”

You take your hands back from him, quickly planting them on your hips, “So you think putting my job at risk is perfectly fine? All this behind my back shit is getting pretty old Jake, and we’ve barely even been at this a few weeks.” 

He drops his head, catching the crown of his hair in his fingertips, “What the hell did you want me to do?” 

You throw your hands in the air, fumbling to even find the right answer, “I don’t know Jake! But we could’ve tried to figure this out together before I was once again blindsided by something you hid from me! Because of your mistakes, Mariella came tattling to Chris-”

He lifts his head, staring you down. His eyes are sincere yet concerned. A look you’ve never seen from him, “She what?” 

“I told her to fuck off. I finally stood up for myself and she came in here to tattle.”

Jake closes his eyes and clenches his fists softly, “She’s not the kind you attack with words sunshine.”

You shake your head, not even believing that he’s telling you that you shouldn’t have stood up for yourself, “Jake that’s beside the fucking point. Because of you now I have to choose between walking away from my job or you.” 

“You’re not seriously going to choose are you?” 

“Doesn’t sound like I have a choice. I don’t want to. I want you, but I also need a fucking job. And right now you’ve pissed me off again.” 

“Again, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Do you wish I did nothing at all?”

“No,” You retort, quick to remind him you did want this. 

He rises to his feet, trying to establish some sort of control in the conversation, “Okay, so what then? You knew we were going to be all or nothing, or at least I did. I knew I had to have you, I didn’t think the rule was going to be held up.” 

“Jake.”

He rests his hands on your shoulders, “No, don’t fucking choose. What’s he going to do?”  

“Jake I’m pretty sure he’s going to fire one of us if we don’t pick. And we’re both on thin ice here so it will ultimately be whoever he likes more…” 

Jake shakes his head and drops his hands off of you, beginning to turn towards the door, “Can’t believe it. That you’re even considering it. After everything.” 

You grab his wrist, “After what Jake? After you finally decided you wanted to be with me? After I sat waiting months for you? After you fucked my friend? After you avoided this whole situation? After what?”

He snaps his wrist back to his side and reaches for the door handle. He shoots one last distraught glance back before heading back out into the hallway. 

It was about halfway through their set before Josh jumped off the stage to rush to you. He had been waiting for the right moment to run over to you all night. Shooting you happy glances, singing to you from the stage, and even ushering Jake over to the side you were sitting on so you could see him better. 

He waited until the worst possible moment to rush over to you, during one of Jake’s solos. 

He was worse than you when it came to pushing Jake. You could push him and get away with it, you knew it was all an act. But with Josh… He thought it was all a fun game, not realizing later that you would have to defend his actions like they were your own. 

Josh grabs your hand to lift you out of your seat, so eager to get you on your feet. The chair that you previously occupied clatters behind you. The crowd is completely distracted by Josh, and well, you. He swoops you close to him and soon your feet are moving along to the beat, jumping around with Josh in a flurry of happiness. 

Usually, you only had the enjoyment of watching live music, never participating in it. Here, you were now a part of this moment with them, and the one you wanted most to be happy for you, would clearly find this all too much. 

Josh grabs your hand and spins you around him, moving charismatically, so smoothly; quite romantically. If people were looking, they might think that Josh was the one you were with. Jake’s playing gets more technical with each moment, trying to win back the crowd’s attention, but everyone is watching his twin and you, swirling in a passionate dance on the bar floor. 

A smile is lit across your face; you’ve never had this much fun before, ever. There’s just enough whiskey in your system to completely evaporate any fear, or really notice the crowd cheering you on. You lower your hand across Josh’s waist, and he matches you, squeezing into your hip. You both circle each other, intoxicated in the glow of the moment. 

Jake’s solo slowly clamors to an end, and Josh realizes his cue to run back to the stage. He drops his hand from you and places a fragile kiss on your cheek before rushing back up to the mic. 

The crowd erupts in drunken cheers and you turn to notice the gathering they had made around the floor. They’re on their feet, clapping, enthusiastic about the thrilling moment. You awkwardly curtsey to the group and make your way back to your seat, picking it back up off the ground. 

The spirit of the moment quickly is burned when you look up and see Jake is not matching your excitement. A looming, angered glare is searing through any happiness you feel. He’s barely paying attention to the music, instead, steaming on the side of the stage. Gripping the guitar so tightly you fear it would break with any tighter hold. 

Shit. 

“Chris, can… I’m sorry can we just work this shift and figure it out tonight? I just want to do my job right now.”

Another classic Chris grunt and he waves you off, “Go. It’s gotta happen though. One of the choices.”

“Yes, yes I know,” You grovel, hoping that if you can’t come to a decision, he won’t be picking you to go. 

You rush back over to the bar and continue the chores you had left earlier. Of course, Chris didn’t bother picking up any slack, and neither did Jake. 

The thoughts are unraveling in your mind now. The control you had tried to exert is slowly withering away. Even though you had felt far more tough lately, you still couldn’t completely swallow the soft, emotional side of you. 

What the hell kind of choice is this? Lose your job or lose the boy you fought everything and everyone to have? Why does the universe fucking hate you?! 

Your body felt weighed, completely exhausted by all the drama and all the decisions. If you didn’t have responsibilities outside of this relationship, you would instantly pick Jake, but you can’t risk not having any income. You were a girl alone. No rich mommy or daddy to come to save you when you needed it most. You had given all of that up. No friends that could save you, they were miles away back home. You hate to admit it, but you were truly alone here. 

Sure, you had people, but no one that would be willing to take in a stray. Jake had his brother, he had more than you. It wasn’t fair to compare, but you were thinking it. 

He doesn’t seem to want to give you up either, at least that’s how it feels. He was heartbroken; defeated in that office. Just as sad as you. 

“Coming through-” Jake strides past you, holding onto three drinks, carefully balancing them in his hands, until he’s not. 

You turn to move, not realizing how close he was to you and knock your arm into his, sending the drinks flying over the front of your shirt. 

“Fuck!” You exclaim. 

Jake matches your sentiment, “Oh, shit.” 

You quickly run to grab a rag from the shelves behind the counter, trying to soak up the sticky liquid as fast as you can, before any stains set in. 

“Foul!” Yells one of the nasty regulars.

“Dude, shut up.” Jake retorts, rushing over to assist you, “I’m sorry, I should’ve-”

“It’s fine.” You don’t mean to be harsh, but in that moment all you could do was try to get him away. You didn’t want to think about him, about the situation, about any of it. You just wanted to get back to work. 

“This is Danny, and this is Sam,” Josh introduces the two other members of the band. 

You all gathered around the corner booth at the bar after the set. Jake had been avoiding you, taking his time to pack all of his things. The other boys were far less concerned with cleaning up, and headed straight to the bar, well straight to you. 

“Ohhh, so you’re the mysterious girl we’ve been hearing all about, huh?” Sam crosses his arms over his chest, surveying you, trying to be funny. 

“Oh yes, I’m very mysterious,” You joke back. 

Josh chuckles, “She isn’t one bit mysterious Sam, Jake is just always very vague with his lover’s darling. He doesn’t like to kiss and tell.”

You swallow back a large gulp of Jameson Ginger, “Oh yeah. I’m well aware.” 

Danny echoes into the conversation, trying to eagerly get in, “So how long have you two?...”

“Not long.”

“Oh,” Sam ponders, “I thought. Well, he’s been talking about a bartender for a-”

Josh shoots Sam a concerned look, trying to shut him up.

He knew? Did he know about Mariella? 

“Oh no, I’m not the only bartender,” Your comment is snide and condescending. You hope it’s not making a fool of yourself, but you want everyone to know the games Jake likes to play. 

You feel the alcohol finally hitting you now, maybe you didn’t realize it before, but standing with them for that short few moments was turning your mind into rubber. 

“Sam, c’mon. He’s your brother, you know how he is.” Danny whispers to Sam. 

Shit. Not another brother. 

“Was.” You correct, holding your finger out at Danny, “Let’s hope it’s was.” 

“Yes Mama,” Josh puts his hand on your shoulder, he turns to face the boys, “We like her, so we’re going to hope it’s ‘was’.”

“Where did he even go?” You ask, slurring your words slightly. 

Sam shrugs his shoulders, and is the first to sit in the booth, “I don’t know but I’m not waiting around for him to have any fun!”

“I like your thinking!” Josh exclaims, jumping in the booth beside Sam. 

Danny corrals on the other side of Sam, and Josh pats the empty seat next to him. Fuck. 

You cautiously slide into the booth next to Josh, trying to leave ample space between the two of you. 

The boys are like classic best friends. Danny and Sam seem to have a great bond, completely forgetting the fact that they aren’t blood brothers. They act like they’ve known each other their whole life. Their outfits are almost matching, both in patterned jeans and snug-fitting plain shirts. Their hair is just about the same length, except Danny’s is curly and wild, and Sam’s is sleek and flowing; similar to Jake's.

Josh is clearly the eccentric one of the group, sporting some sort of animal skin vest and low-rise dark wash jeans. He has on so much jewelry it jingles with each movement he makes. He’s practically wearing a tambourine with all the clangs. 

They all speak amongst themselves, raving about the set, the crowd, parts they think they nailed, and parts they want to work on more. It was a nice break for you to just enjoy being there with them, getting to know them just by watching. You were picking their brains without them even realizing that you were doing so. 

The two brothers fake-bickered with each other. Similar to how Josh and Jake would torment each other, but in a much more playful and innocent manner. You could see Jake in both of them, in different ways. Josh, well because they were twins, they shared eerily identical expressions. Josh just carried all of them in a more lighthearted way. Sam, on the other hand, you could see Jake’s sass within him. 

Just as you are finally ready to find a way to sneak into their fun, a presence joins you at the booth. You can feel the heat radiating off of him as he slides into the spot next to you, pushing everyone further down in the booth. His hand reaches over to your thigh, grasping it tightly, marking his territory. 

“Hi, Sunshine.” He grits through labored breaths. 

“Welcome!” Josh roars, “Glad to finally see you joining us!”

“Well, someone had to talk to the manager- who by the way, was very impressed by our performance. He wants us back next month.” Jake says these words as if they aren’t even exciting at all. 

“Oh! That’s awesome!” You cheer, looking around at all the boys. 

Their faces light up with victory, and they immediately start cheers-ing each other. 

Josh nudges your shoulder, “It was most definitely our dancing Mama! That energy got the whole crowd going! You’re our good luck charm.” 

You blush at Josh’s kind words, “Wherever you guys go, I’ll be there to cheer you on…” 

You drop your hand to the table, showing the boys you’re in this with them. They all take turns grabbing your arm and showing their appreciation. 

“Yeah, they really loved you.” Jake sneers. 

The sarcasm is lost on Sam, who pipes up, “Yeah they were all cheering for you guys! It was awesome, they stayed standing the rest of the set!”

Danny nudges Sam and whispers in his ear. Danny is like Sam’s conscious, warning him of all the sourness that is happening at the table. Sam awkwardly smiles. 

Jake pulls your drink from your loose grip and finishes the remainder of it. You shoot him a disgusted glance, furrowing your brow harder than you thought you possibly could. 

The boys all sit in silence, watching this awkward interaction.

Josh is quick to break the ice, like always, “So next time, maybe we can coordinate something? A little moment just for us?”

You turn to him, trying to warn him not to say that in front of Jake. But it’s too late for that. Jake grips your thigh, hard, nearly breaking through your jeans. 

“It’s not her band.” He snaps. 

“Yes Jake, I know it’s not my band,” You crack. 

“I liked your dancing!” Danny encourages, “You were really good!”

You grin back at Danny, thanking him with your expression. 

Josh jumps back into his own conversation, “Ok, but imagine, if we did that spinning thing again, but we lined it up with-” 

“Maybe you can take up one of your solos to dance with her.” Jake is being completely rude. You know the cause of it all. You know why he’s so ill-mannered. You try your best to forgive him but know there’s too much brash to go unnoticed by the others. 

“Josh, let’s think about this another time, okay? Let’s enjoy the victory of the night for now,” You turn to Jake, “Jake, we were just playing around okay?”

Jake rolls his eyes and leans back into the booth. He takes his hand from your thigh and rests both of his wrists on the table, fiddling with the callouses on his fingers. Josh nods his head and finally gets the point. 

Danny jumps up from the booth, excusing himself to go grab some more drinks. The table’s vibe has completely changed, instead of excited conversation, it’s mute. Sam is paying attention to the music playing over the speakers, tapping along to the beat. Josh is trying to get his drink down as fast as he can. And Jake… Is being Jake. 

His mood has been absolutely horrible. All because you chose to have fun. How rude of you.

“Hey,” You poke at him, “You don’t need to be like this right now. You have so much to celebrate!” 

“Oh yeah, let me celebrate that my girlfriend wants to be around everyone here but me.” He growls under a low breath. 

“Jake,” You comfort, “I came here for you, I’m excited for you.” 

“No.” Jake raises himself, and turns his head, angling towards you, “I do believe Josh, is the one that invited you. And if I’m not mistaken, you two were the ones dancing during my solo. Oh and also, it wasn’t you that came to see me after I finished up, it was the drunk old bar manager.” 

“Jake…” This time it isn’t you trying to calm him down, it’s Josh. He’s protecting you. 

“Fuck you Josh, you do this shit on purpose, trying to piss me off.” 

The tension is starting between the two, and you’re quite sure those heavy sips weren’t helping the situation at all. 

“Hey! Need I remind you, who was the one who-”

“Shut up.” 

You glance your head between the two of them, confused. Jake drops his head and turns away from Josh. Josh swirls the ice around in his cup, trying to avoid eye contact with you. 

“Josh…” You pry, “What did you do?” 

“Don’t,” Jake interjects, trying to hold off Josh. 

What the hell was going on? What sort of fucked up twin telepathy was happening. 

“No, no,” You scold, “Maybe I should ask what the fuck you did Jake? Huh?” 

Sam slowly tries to crawl out of the booth, avoiding whatever is about to go down. 

Josh crosses his arm, trying to yield to Jake, “He did nothing.” 

“Okay?” Your voice is shaky, trying to understand if this even involved you. This drunk version of you was trying any way to find out more. “Clearly someone did something.” 

Jake lifts his head, staring down Josh, almost pleading with his eyes to keep quiet. 

“Josh…”

You turn yourself to block Jake’s eyeline, lining yourself up with Josh. 

“Is it about me?” You ask, imploring. Hoping that his answer would be no. 

Josh sighs and drops his arms, bracing himself on either side of his legs. He takes a long breath. 

His silence confirms it all for you. 

Jake echoes in your ear, “Don’t worry about it.”

You scowl back to Jake, “No more hiding shit Jake.” 

He reaches his hand up to his mouth, trying to find the right words to say. Before he even has a chance, Josh lets it spill out. 

“Jake wasn’t going to go back to you.” 

He could have stabbed you in that moment and the feeling would have been the same. 

“Fuck! Josh!” Jake yelps. 

Your heart drops. Jake fighting him is proof enough that what Josh said was true. You turn to Jake, tears welling in your eyes. 

“What…” You push Jake’s shoulder, “the fuck,” another push, “does that mean?”

You feel your whole body shaking with anxiety. The alcohol is climbing up your throat; tears starting to fall from your eyes. 

Josh grabs your hand, trying to prevent you from hitting Jake any further. 

“Mama, listen. He just didn’t think you wanted him anymore. I went over to talk to him about it and told him he should try again.” 

You turn to snap at Josh but feel horrible even thinking about being mean to him. He was honest with you, trying to help. 

“So, but…” You feel absolutely defeated, “So if you hadn’t said anything he wouldn’t have…?”

Jake turns completely away from the two of you, dropping his head into his hands, trying to breathe through it. 

“You fucking ruin everything, Josh. You always get to be the sun. You always get to save the day.” 

You turn to Jake, cautious to defend Josh, “Jake you need to tell me what happened.” 

Jake doesn’t turn back to you. Josh tries to grab your hand one last time, silently asking you to go easy on Jake. 

“Why wouldn’t you come back?” Your voice is breaking completely now. The rush of emotions is piling through you, breaking your heart all over again. 

Knowing he didn’t want to come back felt like it was all your fault. You were the one who turned him away before knowing the entire story. But also, you had a right to be upset. The juxtaposition of it all was fucking with you. Who was right? 

Jake is still silent, holding himself up in his palms. You turn back to Josh, begging for any sort of help. His hands rest on his cheeks, realization setting in of what he did. He went too far. Twins weren’t meant to be this damaging to each other. The public tension of it all was awkward, pushing each other too far. 

“What’d I miss!” Danny perkily walks over to the table, holding everyone’s choice of drinks. Sam’s trying to hide behind him, knowing what situation he left. 

You pout through the tears, showing Danny that he didn’t miss anything too good. 

You rise from your seat, standing on the wooden bench, climbing over Josh to leave the booth. You pat the two best friends on the shoulder, apologizing through silent chokes of your tears. 

Sam gingerly hands you your next round, placing the glass in your hand, and patting your knuckles. You awkwardly smile back at him, thanking him for the drink. 

You take a hefty swig and place the remainder of the drink in front of Jake, “Here… Unlike you, I don’t like putting good things to waste.”

The boys all wince through their teeth, and Jake jolts up to scowl at the boys. 

You secretly run past the booth and into the dark bathroom in the back of the bar. 

The shift is by no means easy. The two of you are in the worst rhythm you’ve ever had. Even on your first shift together, it was like magic. You could almost sense each other coming, you were good at trading off tasks. Tonight…. Was not that. 

Jake screwed up three orders, and you took two more drinks to the chest. Each time exclaims were made between the both of you, and patrons took it upon themselves to call out. The understanding for your bodies that you had just hours earlier was completely gone, completely out of sync. 

Usually, it would just be you struggling with your own thoughts, but you could tell the weight of the situation was sitting heavy on Jake. You had left things in a horrible, but justified place. You didn’t exactly feel bad for what you said, because, well it was the truth. So what Jake had to give up a booty call? You were the one that got the shit end of the stick every time. 

The bathroom was full of women. They were all slightly older than you, and mostly concerned with their friends who were far too drunk, or paying attention to how their makeup was holding up. 

You snuck through them, trying to find the one empty stall. You closed the door behind you and quickly locked it, stowing yourself away. The echoes of their voices melted with the loud music vibrating on the walls. 

Fuck.

What the hell? 

He couldn’t even look at you. 

He couldn’t even admit it. 

Why wouldn’t he come back? 

Well… You did kind of end that last night on bad terms. During that entire week, you wanted to run back to him; but you didn’t. He just needed a push. But what if he never got that push? What if he never showed up to tell you what actually happened… 

He never even tried to explain himself at the bar. He just kept trying to get you going. He can’t admit when he’s wrong. Does he have to be persuaded into being nice? Not entirely. Not all the time… 

Chris is about ready to lock up. He does his usual survey of all the surfaces, walking laps around each table, around the counters, really just pretending to look at everything. There really weren’t any expectations for the cleanliness of each table. He was actually just waiting for one of us to say something to him. For one of us to have decided. 

It was the stupidest fucking rule known to man. It’s a bar. People are bound to start fucking each other. Thats life. 

Jake and you had not broached the subject any further. There was no time and no further discussion to be had yet. It was the worst decision for either of you to make. It was utterly ridiculous. You didn’t expect Jake to give up his job either and almost started to believe that this was some sort of ending.

You tried not to think about it too much. Tried not to let that reality set in until you knew it for a fact. 

One last swipe of the counter, and you had completely cleaned up. Jake on the other hand was sweeping the floors, trying not to clean up in the same area. You try your hardest not to keep staring at him, but you want so badly for him to look at you. You want to figure this out… together. 

He places the large broom at the corner of the bar and strides over to Chris. You’re watching it play out in front of your eyes like a movie. You pretend to be distracted at the POS, but sneaking glances over your shoulder. 

Chris runs his hand over Jake’s shoulder and gives him a firm shake. Jake drops his head and nods. Reaching up to pat Chris’ hand. And just like that it’s over. 

What… What happened? 

Jake strides out of the bar, avoiding your eye contact, and slowly disappearing into the hallway. 

Oh, what the fuck? 

This is it. This is the end. Jake is giving you up. This wouldn’t be a romance novel. He wouldn’t run to you and lift you up, he wasn’t going to kiss you like no one was watching. He was just going to walk away, again. 

You throw your hands up, staring down Chris, trying to emulate ‘what the fuck’ with your body language. 

Chris mopes over to the counter, dragging out the moment as long as possible. He plops himself down on the stool in front of you, clasping his hands on the bar. 

“Go home. See you on Monday this week, kid.” 

So wait… He just… 

“Wait… What the fuck just happened?” You’re completely flustered, almost not believing what this means. 

“Jake quit. Go home. Talk to him.” 

TAGLIST (ILY GUYS!!!) Sorry if I missed anyone!

@gvfmarge @takenbythemadness @heckingfrick @gvfpal @sanguinebats @giraffehippy @anythingforjtk @lipstickitty @pinkandsleepy1934 @gretavansara @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @milkgemini @violet-hayes

#jake kiszka #greta van smut #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet smut #gvf smut #josh kiszka #tending #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #angsty Jake

[breadqueen95]

hi i love your eren insomniac au so much 😭💛 may i request for a modern au eren x reader (fem/gn) - where eren stands up for the reader from being disrespected by toxic parents? more of like a comfort hc? don’t worry if you are unable to, thank you so much for reading this & putting in so much effort to ur writing <3 have a great day lovely !!

oh my gosh thank you!!!! it's one of my favorite hcs i've written so I'm so happy you like it too! and thank you the most for being here and saying such kind things, it means a lot to me

but FUCK YEAH i can do that for you!!! i'm sorry if this is a situation you have to deal with :( i have my own set of toxic parents so i know how hard it can be. i hope this helps, even just a little <3

kind of turned into a whole ass fic???? i'm so sorry about that lol i hope it's okay!

CW: anxiety, depression, slight ptsd, heavy themes of toxic parental relationships, body issues

modern!Eren Jaeger x fem!Reader

Before

Eren knows about your family. He's known, or at least suspected, from those very first few weeks of getting to know you. He has his own issues with his dad - even though everyone's situation is different, he's come to learn how to recognize those long lasting scars in other people. It hurts him beyond belief that he can see those scars in you, his favorite person.

It was even harder seeing how deep those scars go once you two began your relationship. It took awhile for Eren to help you understand that his love for you wasn't transactional. It wasn't conditional. It didn't depend on the size of clothes you wore, or how many achievements you could tack onto your resume. That you didn't have to walk on eggshells every waking moment just to make sure you didn't misstep. He just loves you. You're still learning that, and trying to show him the very same kind of deep and unyielding love for him.

Even so, Eren has his mom. Carla has been able to show him nothing but pure and unconditional love from before he can remember - a stark contrast from Grisha. He was able to start healing and separating himself from that toxicity from a young age, and hasn't really spoken to him since. Your situation is different - both parents, both different yet similar brands of harshness, both still in contact.

It's complicated. He knows it is. You've even said it yourself.

Doesn't stop him from being so, so gentle with you. From waking up every morning ready to protect you and remind you how much he loves you. It started like that from the very first minute he lay eyes on you, when he knew instantly how much he was going to love you, to now, and every moment to come.

So when your parents kept insisting they had to meet him, Eren tried to convince you that it wasn't that important. That they could try and do this over FaceTime first, test the waters a little bit.

You honestly didn't want to share him with them at all. He's such a sacred part of your life, something so good and pure and wonderful. You're scared that if he sees where you come from, just how bad it can get with them, he'll leave.

You're always terrified that you'll scare him off.

You tell him so one night, as you're wringing your hands together, panicking after yet another passive aggressive text about meeting Eren. It stresses you out more and more every time.

Eren doesn't say anything at first. Just wraps you up in his arms. Pulls you against his warmth. Cradles you against his broad chest, stroking every part of you he can reach with a featherlight touch.

"Baby," he croons, "there's nothing you could show me that could scare me off."

Your stomach swoons every time he calls you that. Can't be helped. He giggles a little at the stutter in your breathing with the pet name, but doesn't poke fun at you just now.

"You're already so goddamn patient with me," you whisper shakily, his name for you unable to sway you from anxiety, "I just don't--"

"I love you," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "I will always love you. I just want you to feel safe and happy, and I'll do everything I can to make you feel that way. Got that?"

Despite the tears filling your eyes, you smile bashfully and hide your face in his neck, leaving thankful and affectionate kisses all over his warm skin.

Okay, so maybe you could do this. You have Eren.

During

After much hounding from your parents, you and Eren find yourselves standing outside the door of your parent's house. You've got a plate of brownies in one hand and Eren in the other. He runs his thumb over your knuckles rhythmically in a way that grounds you. In his other hand, he holds a bouquet of flowers for your mom, ever the gentleman. Carla raised him right.

Everyone's all smiles at first. Eren's impressed; he knows how scared you are, how nervous, but you're putting up a good front. But the more he thinks about it, the more your skill at hiding how you're feeling makes him sad. You've clearly had a lot of practice.

Your parents are showing the good parts of them. You've explained to Eren how there are good memories with them; they can be so loving, so kind. And right now, they're welcoming you home and Eren into their lives with open and loving arms. They're asking Eren all kinds of questions about his life and his interests. Asking about your relationship, how you met, things like that.

It starts to fall apart during dinner.

Eren can see that you've gotten a little more comfortable. Your shoulders aren't as tense, breaths coming a little easier. It's easy for him to understand why you're at war with yourself constantly over how you feel about them.

Then somehow everyone ends up on the subject of something you're passionate about. Eren, for one, is thrilled. Watching you talk about the things you love is one of his favorite activities. Your eyes light up in the most breathtaking way, and your smile is downright infectious. He could listen to you for hours.

"Oh boy, here we go," your mom sighs from one end of the table.

Just like that the spell is broken. Eren has a front row seat as he watches your face fall, your voice cutting off into heavy silence. Your brows knit together as you look down at your plate.

"You're obsessing again," your dad adds with a patronizing laugh.

Eren looks up and in between your parents. They laugh, looking at him as though trying to include him in whatever sick joke they think they're making.

He looks back at you. You're masking it for now, but your hands are clenched in the tightest fists he's ever seen under the table. He reaches under the table and takes the hand closest to him, and ever so gently, tries to coax your fingers open. Trying to get you to let him in.

"Sorry," you say with a self-deprecating laugh, "I know I can get carried away."

Eren's heart shatters. He doesn't know how many times you said this, mostly in the beginning of your relationship and in group settings. You're always so convinced that no one wants to hear you talk, so you end up apologizing for it.

Now he sees it. Where it comes from.

Schooling his face into a friendly expression despite his rage, he squeezes your hand, saying, "No, keep going, I love hearing you talk."

"Nah, it's okay," you shrug nonchalantly, before changing the subject.

The way you're squeezing his hand begs him to drop it. So he does.

But then it keeps going.

You reach for a second helping of something, and your mom says, "How are you still hungry?"

You don't end up getting that second helping.

You make a joke about something, wrinkling your nose in that cute little way he loves so much.

"Yeah, don't tell your coworkers that one," your dad adds in.

Eren has to watch your beautiful face fall.

You're talking about how many long hours you've worked recently, how tired you are.

Cutting you off, your mom jumps in about how hard she works. Very much indicating there's no way you can be more tired than her.

Eren sees you breaking under the weight of it all. His sweet, fiery, passionate girl, reduced to whatever palatable version of you your parents find acceptable. They've tried to make poking fun at you a bonding activity ever since he stepped into their home, and despite his stone faced reactions, they just keep going.

He has to get you out of here. His protective instincts are raging at him to just get you out.

But your mom insists on pictures. So you pose together. Full group picture first. Then one of you and Eren. Eren tries to pour every ounce of love he has into the way he holds you, but he can feel you shaking. He wants to scream, but he pastes a smile on his face instead.

Then it happens.

"TTI, sweetie."

What the fuck? What does that mean?

Then, like a soldier responding to a command, he feels you suck in your soft tummy to the point where he wonders if it's painful.

"Sorry, what does that mean?"

Eren tries to ask in what he hopes is a joking manner, but you can hear the barely suppressed anger just underneath.

"Tuck Tummy In," your mom explains with a lighthearted smile, "now smile--"

"Why would you say that to her?"

He doesn't even try to hide his outrage this time. Eren, a normally very expressive person, has spent the entire night burying his need to put the people hurting you in their place. Now he's had it.

"Eren, it's fine--"

"No, it's not," he seethes, curling his fingers around your waist in a vice grip.

Your parents are silent. No one's ever called them out like this before. You've tried to have discussions with them in the past about things like this, approaching it in a very calm, polite manner, but it always ended badly.

"There's nothing she has to fix about herself to look drop dead gorgeous for a picture. Nothing."

"It's just something we say--"

"Not anymore it's not. Not when I'm here."

You're ready for the yelling to start. You flinch, curling yourself closer into Eren's side. A kneejerk reaction cultivated by years of emotionally volatile parenting. Eren tightens his arm around you. He might be ready to go to war on your behalf, but he's gonna make sure you feel safe at the same time.

Your dad steps forward, a self righteous glare on his face as he looks at Eren.

"You don't speak to my wife that way--"

"Oh, you mean the way you've spoken to your daughter the entire night?"

Heavy silence fills the room. Eren worries that he's gone too far, but then he feels you press even closer to him. If you were upset, you'd be putting distance between you two.

Your parents look at you, expecting you to come to their defense, but you don't. You won't.

"He's r-right," you whisper shakily, "I've told you before how the kinds of things you've said tonight make me feel."

Then, like clockwork, your mom gets misty eyed. Your dad gets stern, condescending, and loud.

"I just wanted a nice night."

"Look at how you made your mother feel."

"I guess we're just the worst parents."

"We'll talk about everything soon," you murmur politely, reaching down to lace your fingers together, "but Eren and I are going home now. Thank you for dinner."

As you go to lead Eren out of there, he tugs you to a stop. You turn and look at him quizzically, wondering what else he could possibly say to them (not that you're complaining). He gives you the sweetest of smiles, the one he reserves just for you. It's the one that says, Don't worry baby. I've got you.

"Since we've already gone there, might as well add some things for the record," he says as he turns around to face them, his hand still holding yours.

"Number 1, it's a goddamn privilege to listen to her talk about anything she wants. For as long as she wants. Anyone who's in the room when she decides to share her passion should count themselves lucky."

Tears gather in your eyes. The happiest of tears.

"Number 2, there are days when I barely see her eat a thing. Those are the days she tries to make herself as small as possible, shrink in on herself. Today was a good day. You took that from her and you should be fucking ashamed."

You start to smile, so in love with this man. Even as your dad starts to raise his voice at Eren's cursing.

"Number 3," Eren says assertively, silencing him, "her belly, the one you shame her for, is one of my favorite parts about her."

Your parents are silent. They stare at Eren in shock, not daring to believe someone could call them out on behaviors they've refused to acknowledge for so long.

Eren turns back to you, green eyes shining with love, and says, "Ready to go?"

You nod. He wraps an arm around you to tug you into him, and leads you out of the warzone.

After

When you and Eren first get in the car, doors slamming shut behind you, he's instantly apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me. I never should've gone that far--"

You cut his words off by kissing him, trying to pour every bit of gratitude and love into the way your lips move against his.

The kiss ends, but you stay close to him, resting your forehead against his.

"I'm gonna have a hard time tonight," you warn, your entire body trembling with the emotional aftershock of your confrontation. Once the adrenaline wears off it'll be even worse.

"I know," he whispers, kissing your nose lightly, "it's okay. I'd be more worried if it wasn't."

He goes to pull away so he can start the drive home, his protectiveness ever pushing him to get you to a safe place, but you stop him. You place both hands on his face to bring him back to you, kissing him softly again. You open your eyes, meeting the vivid green of his, and you fall even more in love with him.

"Thank you. For keeping me safe."

"I'd do anything for you."

He says it so simply. So factually. He leans forward to kiss you once more, then finally tears makes himself pull away so he can start the car.

As Eren starts the drive down the sleepy residential street, he keeps one hand on your knee, making smoothing circles on your skin. You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth, kissing his loving fingers, before setting it down again.

"I love you so much," you say.

"Love you more," he answers.

*******

And that night is bad.

The hurt sets in and pulls you under. Your self-esteem, already so fragile, seems to break apart from under you. You feel meaningless and empty.

That's what happens when the people who're supposed to love you the most reduce you to a shell of a person. When they work tirelessly to smother every part of what makes you you. When they dampen that fire that keeps you going, gives you purpose.

It's what they've been doing all your life.

But now you have Eren.

The darkness doesn't feel as all encompassing as it has before. He doesn't let you isolate yourself, knowing it's your self-destructive instinct to do so. Eren keeps you close to him, the best comfort there could possibly be.

He gets you out of the clothes you trapped yourself in to impress them, getting you into a hot shower with him so he can wash your hair for you. He holds you close under the hot stream of water, kissing every inch of your skin he can reach.

Afterwards, Eren dresses you in the most comfortable clothes he can think of. The ones he's seen you happiest in. It just so happens to be one of his t-shirts and a clean, comfortable pair of underwear.

Eren doesn't think he's ever seen you more beautiful.

He curls up with you on the couch, turning on your favorite comfort show to try and distract you. He holds you as close as he can, enveloping you in gentle touches and soft words.

You don't have the words to process everything that happens tonight. Eren doesn't expect you to. He just holds you, showing you how much he loves you. How much he values you. How he can't live without you.

As you climb into bed with him that night, Eren sees you poking at your belly, mouth twisting in distaste.

He reads you better than anyone in the world. Even in the darkness of your bedroom, he can feel how unhappy you are. He can practically hear the hurtful words you hurl at yourself in your head.

So he rolls on top of you, settling himself so you're nose to nose. You look up at him with big eyes, and Eren can't help but smile. He leans down and kisses you.

"You're so gorgeous, y'know that?"

You roll your eyes, and you open your mouth, ready to brush off his statement. But he keeps going.

"I'm so serious," he says with a laugh, "I can't even pick which part of you I love the most."

He bends down to kiss you again, his unbound brown strands acting as a curtain for both of you.

"There's this part," he murmurs as he kisses you again.

"Then there's this part," he whispers, bending down farther to kiss your neck. You sigh, reaching up to weave your fingers through his soft hair.

He presses an open mouthed kiss to your collar bone, whispering against your skin. You can't even process what he's saying anymore. The way he kisses you is enough to make every thought leave your brain.

Then somehow he's slithered down to where his face is level with your stomach. You pull it in self-consciously, trying to tug him back up to eye level, but he stubbornly stays right where he is.

"Now right here," he murmurs huskily as he lifts your shirt, "is my absolutely favorite part of you, pretty girl."

Eren's not lying. He's shown how much he loves your tummy before. He wraps his long fingers around your waist on either side, dipping his head to kiss the soft skin he loves so much.

You simply lay back and let him love you, tired of fighting it tonight. You revel in the way he adores you so honestly, so openly, so unconditionally.

Both of you know it'll never be easy, not with your histories. But Eren showed tonight that he's willing to march into battle for you to keep you safe, to prove to you how important you are.

You love him. He loves you. Even when your family makes you doubt your worth, that'll never change.

***

Writing this was like therapy. Hope it was okay <3

Request here

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren headcanons #eren yeager x reader #eren fluff #comfort fic #aot headcanons #modern au eren #jenna writes #he's my rotten soldier #my sweet cheese #my good time boy #no but seriously in a modern au he would be so sweet

[kassies-take]

If You Popped The Question

<Prev || Part 23 || Next>

⚠️ slight smut ⚠️

Leah: Um hello this is my room. Yours is down the hall

You: *sprawled out on Leah’s bed* I think better in here *twirls the ring box in your hands* I was going to ask Rose to marry me

Leah: *sits at the foot of the bed* was? What’s the problem? Last I checked you and your dad are working things out. My mom loves her and so does the pack.

You: *drops a hand to you stomach* Bella is pregnant

Leah: … what does that have to do with anything. How is that even possible

You: I don’t know. Rosalie is guarding her with her life. I’m afraid what’s in Bella won’t be able to control it’s thirst… If I do nothing it’ll make Rose happy but endanger the town and the tribe… If I do something I protect the tribe and risk Rose hating me. I could leave with the Cullens but I have a duty to the pack. I could ask her to stay with me but have the Cullen's leave for safety but I'd be selfish.

Leah: that’s tough. at least Jacob isn't here or a war would've started already

You: and that's what I'm trying to avoid

Leah: girl you need to let others carry the weight for you and you know who should help carry it?

You: Sam? The pack?

Leah: no they'll probably cause a war too. how about that amazing and soon to be fiancé of yours. She'll have answers you may not like but most of the problems you brought up involved her

You: what would you do in this situation

Leah: uh... I don't think you'll like my answer. Rosalie has proven that she loves you, she-

You: but what if I can't give her everything she wants?

Leah:...

You: what if our love isn't enough

Leah: *frowns* you're gonna base you future with the girl of your dreams on an account of what if. You're just gonna have to lay it all out for her.

You don't have to agree with her on everything just understand her.

You'll come up with something

You: can't I just lay here for a while

Leah: yes but if you’re not speaking with her by the end of the day I’m dragging your ass over there

You: … okay

Leah: *holds out her hand* can I see the ring*

You: *hands her the ring box*

Leah: you got her two rings!

You: the .75 karat, nature inspired old mine cut was my mom's. The rosewood with silver inlay I made.

Leah: What! You made it! She'd be insane to not accept! *pushes you off the bed* you gotta go now! *pushes you out the door* Go!

You: *heads to the Cullens*

Esme: it's good to see you again

You: *hugs Esme*

Esme: I figured you were coming sooner or later. There's some pasta in the fridge.

You: thank you *goes to the kitchen and warms up the pasta Hi Carlisle, how are you

Carlisle: tense everyone is tense

You: *hesitates*

Carlisle: Rose hasn't fed in a while.

Maybe spending time with you can help... what are you thinking about

You: *pulls out the ring box*

Carlisle: *smiles*

You: Would you

Carlisle: yes you have my permission

*smiles,plants his pointer finger over his lips and motions you towards his clan*

You: *walks into the room* hey *walks towards Rosalie and rubs her arms*

Bella: Jacob?

You: probably cooling off somewhere in Canada. Honestly, better off there than here, it’ll cause so much more tension here…

Quinn: *smirks* Rose why don’t you and (Y/n) take a stroll to the waterfall

Rosalie: *squeezes your hand tighter*

You: *soft* lets get you fed, go on a date. I’m sure Esme and Quinn won’t let anything happen to Bella and the baby.

Rosalie: *nods*

You: *tugs her outside*

~~~~~

Rosalie: *drains a deer and detaches herself*

You: I know I should be disgusted but this is hot *wipes the corners of Rosalie’s lip with your thumb*

Rosalie: *smirks, sucks the drops of blood off your finger, and backs you against a tree*

You: not what I had in mind for a date but it works

Rosalie: shut up and kiss me

You: *moves a strand of hair behind Rosalie’s ear* you have me pinned down

You and Rosalie: *makes out and hands roam*

Rosalie: *lifts your shirt* is this okay?

You: *whispers* more than okay *takes your shirt off and kisses Rosalie’s jaw*

Rosalie: *moans, accidentally pops and rips open your jeans* sorry

You: *chuckles* I’m sure I have some clothes laying around in the area *pushes Rosalie back*

Rosalie: *trips over the dead deer*

You and Rosalie: *falls and laughs*

You: we are not getting intimate next to a deer you killed

Rosalie: do you trust me?

You: with my life

Rosalie: *Carries you and jumps up at the highest branch of the tree*

You: holy fuck

Rosalie: *teases* scared of heights? *straddles your lap, and takes off her shirt*

You: No. Us wolves cliff dive recreationally. It’s just that… *smiles*

Rosalie: what? *hands roam down your front*

You: *whispers* we’re kissing in a tree

Rosalie: *chuckles and smirks* we’re about to do more than kiss

~~~~~

You and Rosalie: *naked under a waterfall and in each other’s arms*

Rosalie: the baby is not going to be a threat.

You: you can’t say for sure

Rosalie: Carlisle is a man of science. With Esme, Quinn and I wanting children he did many experiments. It would be impossible for us to ever get pregnant… it would be possible for men, unfortunately. we just never thought anyone would consider it.

You: *kisses her temple* I guess both of us have that in common.

Rosalie: *frowns*

You: a little after my transformation I found that phasing has stopped my menstral cycle.

Rosalie: if you stop phasing?

You: it’s a possibility but I’ve accepted that I would shift forever to be with you, and I wouldn’t want to carry anyone’s baby except yours.

Rosalie: *wraps her arms around your neck* we’re doing things a little out of order don’t you think? I saw you naked before our first conversation. Sex before an official date. Babies before marriage.

You: not a second goes by when I don’t think about marrying you.

Rosalie: are you proposing

You: call it the imprint bond, or a mate bond. But regardless, just one look into your eyes and I knew I was gonna spend my life with you.

Rosalie: *smiles and hides her face in your neck*

You: *gasps* is this blushing!

Rosalie: *lightly slaps your shoulder* most proposals require a ring

You: *hums, swims over to the shredded clothes pile and digs through your jeans for the ring box* right about that.

Rosalie: *jaw drops*

You: *swims back to her and opens the box* Rosalie Lillian Hale will you do me the honor of marrying me.

Rosalie: yes *chuckles* of course I will! *kisses you* you got me two rings

You: the diamond ring was my moms the other I made. *puts the rings on Rosalie’s finger*

Rosalie: *jaw drops* how did you… how do you know my ring size to make a ring!

You: Quinn. I didn’t know if my mom’s ring would fit so I had Quinn swear to secrecy that I’d make you one. She gave me the talk while we were looking for materials. She also helped me resize my mom’s rin-

Rosalie: *kisses you*

#if you series #twilight saga #twilight saga imagine #twilight #twilight imagines #quileute pack #quileute pack x reader #quileute pack imagines #quileute shapeshifter #Jacob black sister #Leah Clearwater #Leah Clearwater x platonic!reader #Leah Clearwater imagine #rosalie hale #rosalie hale imagine #rosalie hale imagines #Rosalie hale x reader #rosalie lillian hale

[camelely]

The Betrayal of Ted Lasso S3

Yea. The title is a bit dramatic but I have been one of those people who will defend the Shandy and Zava arcs. I thought everything had a purpose, but really really this season felt like a turn, and part of it felt like the plot belonged in a different show...

They keep saying this was the three season arc they planned. But this felt very rushed, and wrapped all these plots up too neatly too quickly. Ted was reduced to a manic pixie dream girl floating in and out of peoples lives teaching them about love, forgiveness, and to believe.

Lets start with my least favorite thing in the finale. Reducing the Jamie/Keeley/Roy story to a fist fight and a "choose me over him" arc. Belonged in a different show. Pheobe said it best in the first episode "Why are you breaking up?" Nothing they did this season was better because of the Roy x Keeley breakup. Even Keeley's bi arc. Like she has always been implied bi, so they could have just made it clear with Jack being an ex that resurfaced instead of a new relationship. Imagine the version of the KJPR plot with Jack being an ex. No out of date leaked nudes plot. Roy can be jealous because he thinks maybe Keeley does want to get back with this ex, but he sees that is his problem not hers and works on it internally/with Dr. Sharon. And Keeley can think Jack is just trying to help and apologize for the mistakes she made in their relationship, but soon its clear Jack wants to get Keeley back by funding her business and then pulling her funding when things don't go her way. This leaves Keeley wondering if she ever had any value as a business woman and Rebecca and Roy are there to support her. Rebecca as a friend and financial backer and Roy as a supportive BF. Then Keeley can return the favor supporting Rebecca when she is deciding to sell the club or not, and Roy when he is promoted to manager.

The leaked nudes plot belonged on a show that came out like five/six years ago when society first started to shift and see that the celebrities were the victims. I understand it was a true story from the real Keeley, but seriously it dated a show that could have been pretty universal otherwise. I know they deal with issues like racism and homophobia but those things aren't going anywhere. We have to keep fighting, but those people always exist. Meanwhile the nudes thing has seen a pretty quick shift already. They built Shandy up as this vengeful character, Why didn't they have her do something to try and blow up Keeley's business? Even something simple like an attempt at wrongful termination? Shandy could have posted on her socials and been like "Keeley Jones claims shes for women but she fired me for no reason" got a bunch 'eat the rich' activists on her side since Keeley is backed by a billionaire and caused a lot of problems for the PR firm in the press.

Jamie reconnecting with his abusive parent. Honestly this did feel in place for a show thats all about forgiveness. But the more we learned about him the more he felt worse than Rupert. Absolutely awful. A better ending would have been his death and Jamie coping with the conflicted feelings he has vs the sadness he is expected to show by the media. Or even just letting Jamie move on. "I don't need him. I have a great mom, team, friends, and step dad/mom's bf" (I can't remember if they were married or not lol).

Nate simply quitting off screen and then being welcomed back like it was nothing. Belonged on another show. This one's been talked to death but I'll say it anyway. We see Rupert try to push a boundary and Nate left the bad situation and then fast forward, Nate quits and Rupert is being accused of impropriety. The start of the season was so focused on Nate being an ass to the West Ham players and then they just brush that under and rush him coming back? I didn't need a redemption arc. I liked the apology to Will and Ted's speech to Beard. But I did need to see the moments with Nate's choices. Nate made zero on screen choices this season. I mean even coming back was influenced by Jade.

Jade suddenly liking Nate, belonged on a different show. Okay I didn't hate Jade. I didn't hate that she started to date Nate. I think its weird the writers wrote a possibly racist character and then didn't address it but I guess the white af writers room just didn't get it. But I also liked Jade, Nate needed a no nonsense strong person in his life. I feel like his sister could have filled the role a bit better. But the girlfriend route wasn't bad.

Rebecca and the Amsterdam guy belonged in a rom com. Yea it worked a bit since Ted's whole rom com speech. But still, part of what I liked about the Amsterdam plot was that he was a great guy and a great time and then he was just gone. A happy memory to look back on and nothing more. It was so stupid that she randomly ran into him and they just magically got together. With Rebecca's romantic past ruined by Rupert's behavior. And the Sam relationship being kinda cute kinda doomed boss/employee weirdness it felt like Amsterdam guy was the true rebound she needed to move on and start a new path. Rebecca didn't need an endgame romance imo, she needed a fresh start. While I think she should have sold the whole club and moved on from the Rupert chapter of her life, I didn't hate the selling it to the fans thing. That was a decent way to end her journey. If they wanted her to have an endgame romance why not let the fans get to know the guy? Or flash forward to a guy we have never met implying that she eventually found someone?

Rupert hitting the coach also belonged on another show. Rupert is the guy who has everything work out for him. He's cool and collected and confident. Pushing the guy who wouldn't listen to him didn't seem like a Rupert move. Rupert would have fired him and promoted the guy under him. The big change would be if they had that guy quit and then the next guy quit until Rupert was left with no one. Could have also gone back to the Nate thing. If Nate leaving the toxic environment inspired others to do the same. Rupert publicly loosing his cool might have been fun since hes the worst, but it was too neat a wrapped bow.

Beard and Jane. Why did they literally only tell us everything bad about her if they wanted us to root for them? I'm sure she had some good qualities we could have seen. I did like that Beard was the character that got the ending rom com 'stop the plane' moment.

Colin's coming out. I could have done with less Isaac and more Trent or even less angry Isaac and more supportive Isaac but I liked it overall ngl. The kiss in the final episode was the best romantic moment in all of Ted Lasso. My canon favorite ship was RoyxKeeley but they never had a moment I could turn to. This was perfect and Colin was the best character for it.

The Van Damme thing was dumb. The joke about the mask making him 'Zorro' was dumb. I assume they were making fun of Ron Artest/Metta World Peace/Metta Sandiford-Artest but Zoreaux didn't need that. And it was funny for like one month in 2011, get over it.

Ted. Oh sweet Ted. I loved his talk with Trent about changing the name of the book because its not about him, and Trent taking that note but no others. At the end of the day, Ted's whole thing this season is Jason Sudeikis's whole thing in real life. He has a work family in London but his kids and ex in America. He's still low key in love with his ex and doesn't like the new relationship she's in and even though the new relationship ends pretty quickly it still sucks. And that is exactly what ruined the show. I'm sorry Jason is sad, I get people work through their problems in their art. But what a very emotional Jason sees as a good ending for Jason, is not a good ending for Ted. Ted Lasso the character deserved to decide to report Dr. Jacob (sorry Jason you can't report Harry Styles, he didn't do anything unethical... except maybe spit on Chris Pine...). Ted Lasso deserved a solid relationship with his son and a new partner, whoever you ship him with could work. I mean Sassy could have reported Dr. Jacob and told Ted maybe they could make it work since she is spending some time in the US for work. Or Rebecca with her millions saying she can commute as much as they want. Or a third new person in Kansas. The way the show implied Michelle is single and Ted is single. The 'they are getting along' narrative was a bit much.

The dream ending. Yes Bill Lawrence, this worked for Scrubs because JD was a character constantly fantasizing. But thats not Ted Lasso. This show deserved something more unique and more open ended. The final shot could have been Ted on the plane, smiling and that would beat the weird dream flash forward imo.

Yes the show has a central theme about forgiveness. But in previous seasons the person being forgiven earns that forgiveness. Here it was handed out to everyone regardless of who they hurt and what they did. It undermined Rebecca's s1 arc, Nate's multi season arc, Jamie's multi season arc, etc. The only arc that wasn't undermined was maybe Roy, since he ended up in therapy and actively trying to be better. So I guess good for Roy?

Overall my point is Ted Lasso was special because they marched to a positive and hopeful beat while still discussing hard topics. This season took everything special about the show and garbaged it, creating a messy, bland, and insulting final product that was a shell of the show they created. And they managed to do it in three seasons. Congrats guys? I mean most shows take 5-6 seasons to get truly off the rails.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #rebecca welton #coach beard #roy kent #keeley jones #jamie tartt #dani rojas #colin hughes #rupert mannion #nathan shelley #sassy collins #trent crimm #leslie higgins #sam obisanya #isaac mcadoo #mae #richard montlaur #moe bumbercatch #jan maas #Thierry Zoreaux

[shimmeringlights44]

Strawberry Wine

cowboy!austin au reader insert

part one

tw: none?? but there are sexual themes

minors dni

word count: 1.8k

It was finally the end of my first year in college. I truly could not be more over it then I was right now I mean you couldn't pay me to stay another day here. I had my car all packed up and ready to go. This long drive home would give me plenty of time to reminisce on my great freshman year.

My dorm was literally inhabitable, not to mention the devil of a roommate I had. I don't know of any other person whose head was so far up their ass for no reason. And I hope I never do again. Class wasn't too bad except for me being enrolled in multiple courses I didn't need but couldn't drop because it was too late.

I thank my advisor for that one.

Lastly, I'll admit I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Like that one Johnny Lee song. I didn't like to think about the way my life was going so I used people to try and distract myself. Clearly did not work out for me. I just really needed time to myself to be quiet and still. I knew where I could find that.

Home. I can say I was truly blessed to grow up where I did. Our ranch is on a couple acres of land with huge willow and oak trees covered in moss. On the other side of the property we had a cute little cottage built for when the family came to visit. Down behind the house is our garden with the old shed daddy built across from it. We had a big pond put in and that was probably my favorite thing about the place. It has a little dock and I used to sit there for hours watching the water.

This drive couldn't go any faster.

But before I knew it I was finally pulling up to that familiar driveway, a little dark as the sun was going down but I could honestly navigate it blind. I heard momma yelling for me as I pulled up to the house. Flying out of the car, I ran to her, pulling her into the tightest hug.

“I missed you so much momma” “Me too bun, me too” she said into my shoulder. We grabbed all my stuff and went inside the house. It was just as I remembered.

That evening we had dinner and watched a movie together like old times. I truly missed her. After all the fun I decided to go to bed after my long day on the road. Laying down I decided that this summer was gonna be nothing like the past year. The theme is ‘Me, Myself, and I’. It’s what I need to get back to who I really am. Studying in the city for college was such a culture shock for me, it was interesting but I missed my trees and big wide open sky. My solidarity. I needed this.

I woke up around 8am that next day unfortunately. After peeling myself out of bed I lazily pulled an outfit of shorts and a top together and decided to go look at the shed. I went to the garage half asleep still, grabbing a hammer to go ‘work’ on the shed. Not sure about the thought process there. Walking back through the kitchen I stopped to greet my mom and down a banana quickly.

“Oh I forgot to say I hired a ranch hand for some help around here” she tells me. Confused, I ask “Do we really need one momma? I mean I was kinda looking forward to the work..”. “Well I figured you just wanted to be able to relax but you're more than welcome to help him if you want to.” She said that oddly. “Mmmm, I don't think I want to hang out with some random old guy. Thanks though.” I say under my breath as I leave the room.

Finding my way outside I saw the beat down building for the first time in a while.

“Well… this looks like shit.” I muttered to myself. I mean, I knew it needed work but it was practically falling apart with pieces of the wood disentegrati-

“Sorry I-” A deep voice startled me out of my thoughts.

“JESUS” I flew around throwing the hammer. I had to croon my neck up to meet the gaze of the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Before me stood a tall, muscular, looker of a man. His blonde locks stuck in place but curled so beautifully upon his head. Trailing down his face my eyes latched on his lips, so plump and soft looking. It was as if time stopped.

Was I dreaming? The way my heart was pounding was telling me otherwise.

I was broken from my trance when the beautiful man spoke again in a certain country drawl.

“I- I’m sorry little girl I didn't mean to frighten ya.” Little girl? “I wasn't sure where I was going.” he chuckled. Words couldn't form from my brain to my mouth. I just stared at him.

Luckily at that point my mother came to my rescue as always. “Austin? Hey honey you are at the right place!” He whipped his head around at the sound of his name, going to greet my mother. I took this opportunity to bolt inside the house.

There's no way he's the ranch hand momma was talking about. He's too pretty.

After a bit she came back inside and explained to me that the beautiful man was in fact the ranch hand she hired.

“That boy is a sweetie! He's the one who rebuilt the fence around the garden last fall. I figured he would be handy to have around this summer!” she said. “Why did you say it like that?” “Say it like what?” she said with a giggle.

She's playing me.

“Okay momma but don't expect me to be his friend. He comes to work and goes home every day.”

Silence.

“Momma, he comes to work and goes home, right?” “Technically yes.” “You gave him the cottage didn't you?” “I did.” she sheepishly responded.

So, now I have an insanely attractive neighbor that I didn't ask for. Am I mad about it? Not at all. I'm just going to ignore him as best as I can. I cannot get caught up again. This summer is supposed to be about my self growth. Point blank period.

After giving myself a pep talk about the expectations I had for the summer I decided to do some work to take my mind off of it. Luckily mom gave me the sole task of tending the garden so I was going to put my heart and soul into it.

Going back outside later in the day I decided to start with the tomatoes, there were plenty to pick. Squatting down I started picking tomatoes and pulling the weeds from the ground. It was pretty quiet for a few minutes when all of a sudden I heard the sound of wood clacking on the ground. It made me snap my head up. Looking through the plants I saw movement by the shed. I moved some of the branches around to get a better view and boy did I.

Peering through the bushes I saw this so-called Austin ripping the old wooden boards from the shed, glistening with sweat, and his muscles tensing. Lord have mercy. Due to the heat at this point he was only wearing the jeans and work boots I met him in, no shirt. I've only heard of men looking like this, never seen one in the flesh.

He stopped pulling boards to take a swig of water from his reserve. He was drinking like he was in a drought. I watched it fall out of the sides of his mouth and dribble down his chest almost in slow motion. After quenching his thirst he poured some of the ice cold water on his forehead, leaning back and wiping his hair with it. Almost as if he knew I was watching, putting on a show for me.

My breath caught in my throat at the thought.

He pulled a rag out of his back pocket and dabbed the wetness from his face. There was a feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, it was a feeling I was missing, craving, but I knew I couldn't allow myself a taste of this forbidden fruit. Even just watching him was so intense I couldn't imagine touchi-... I had to stop myself. He went back to work and the loud noise pulled me out of my thoughts. Slowly looking down I've completely demolished the tomato sitting in my hand. Whoa. I ran inside to wash the juice from my hands and the sins from my mind.

The rest of the day I spent locked in my room hoping for the thoughts to go away but the more I tried the more they stayed. His washboard abs etched in my mind. That evening after dinner I decided to go sit at my favorite spot on the dock by the pond. Watching the water move from the wind would maybe calm me. It was always peaceful and made me feel at home. Maybe I can find some solace here.

Hopefully.

Sitting outside I heard a door close behind me expecting momma to be coming over. But once again that deep southern voice startled me.

“Sorry, I didn't get to properly introduce myself, I’m Austin,” he says reaching out his hand. I looked at them, big and calloused. I wonder what they feel like. I grabbed it expecting a shake when he easily pulled me to my feet. Not expecting that, I unintentionally fell into him with my hand landing on his chest.

“I- uh..I- my name is y/n.” I said breathlessly. He smiled down at me.

“Y/n, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl, it's a pleasure to meet ya.” I could just about melt in his arms. He was freshly showered in a half opened button up with his chest peeking out and a new pair of jeans. My hand slightly felt over his open shirt.

I need to stop.

The smell of his musk was almost over bearing being this close to him. It was heavenly.

“Y/n?”

I didn't even realize he was talking to me, I was too busy trying to look deeper into his shirt.

”Huh?”

“I said it was nice to meet you, but I've got to go.”

“Oh, sorry,” I muttered, pulling away. “It was nice to meet you too.”

He bit his lip at me and looked me up and down for a split second before turning around and walking off. Boy did that ass look great in those jeans. He hopped into an old yellow ford and started off down the driveway.

Once again I was left breathless by the ranch hand.

Please let me know what you think about it!! i already have part two in the works lmk if u wanna see more :)) also thank u to @wtfsteveharrington and @sassy-ahsoka-tano for beta reading and helping me edit !!!

#austin butler #austin butler fic #austin buter x reader #cowboy!austin #elvis 2022 #i’m so nervous posting this i am no writer by any means but i hope y’all enjoy it !!! #strawberry wine

[boxwinebaddie]

did suzie die during the ravesey divorce :(

EXCUSE ME!!!!!! NO, SHE DID NAUGHT!!!!!! rUDE!!!!

kyle would literally NEVER! honestly, the fact that he couldn't keep...his relationship alive meant he was committed and i think honestly a little hypervigilant/hyperfixated on keeping suzie alive.

...riiiiiip. </3 ;-;

i was gonna say he probably forgot one day to water her ( my hc is that after he gets off the clozapine and starts to recover from the constant ptsd episodes, as he slowly regains control over his thoughts again, he regains control over his memories/that part of his brain where they are stored ) and had a HUGE panic attack about it, but bc she's a succulent, suze actually doesn't need 2 much water.

buuuut bc he's unhealthily obsessed and losing his Mind during that period of time, ky over-waters her and she ALMOST dies. he wants to ask stan about it because he is literally persephone in an emo pretty boy rockstar body ( he also misses him to death and wants to talk to him so bad, but because kyle has the emotional availability of a turtle, when him and stan fought/stan left, kyle caved right back into himself and put the scary, inpenetrable cold boy kyle wall up and pretended like he wasn't hurt/doesn't feel anything abt the divorce )

buuuut x2, like i was saying, ravenstan blocked jerseykyle on EVERY POSSIBLE social media platform, so while marj is in the bathroom kyle gets hella desperate, holds up a picture of marj he has saved on his phone to bypass the face id ( yes, he's an evil genius, yes i know ) and Texts Stan About It on marjs phone PRETENDING TO BE MARJ??? kYLE STOP BEING FUCKING INSANE AND DESPERATE CHALLENGE??? LITERALLY FAILED???? HELP?!!! and marj comes back from the bathroom but before kyle can delete the message, it pings and marjorine is like *stern southern mom tsk tsk tsk vc*

Kyle Matthew Broflovski, You Are In A World Of Trouble, My Friend...

bc stan gives marj the info which...kyle, marj would have figured that out anyways, you are delusional...but he's like "btw, if ur gonna impersonate some1 u should @ least do ur research, jersey. marjorine would never say undoubtedly, dork." fuuuuuuckin embarassing oh my god, the dork was...kind of cute tho, fmlll. </3 kyle's cold black heart did do the flippidy dippity, also the restraint it took not to type mi sabelotodo...stan is stronger than me, ik he wants a freaking red skittle, lavender latter kyle kiss so Bad, smhhh. BOYS MAKE UP AND MAKE OUT ALREADY LIKE MAAAAN IT'S VALENTINES DAY!!!!

also, side-note, kyle actually has a surprising...canon dedication to suzie. he's never kept a plant alive before, but it's his special raven plant and he is a simp, so he was like...I Can Do This. ALSO X2 THIS IS A SPOILER AND I WAS TRYING TO GO IN ORDER OF THE CHAPTERS, BUT Y'ALL KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT SO...storytime.

pretty closely following the ravesey hate and the beginning of the iconic kyle having a big fat secret gay boy crush on raven of crimson dawn era, the blondies falling apartment...LITERALLY falls apart. or rather, the falling apartment above it FALLS INTO THEIR KITCHEN LIKE A WHOLE ASS BATHTUB FALLS THROUGH THE CEILING. thankfully curb is alright and they pack him up into lady in the carrier, yes it was difficult, he bit the living shit out of tweek...tweek bit back.

SO THEY'RE IN THE CAR ABOUT TO PULL OFF and kyle's eyes go WIDE and he's like???? where the fuck is suzie?? and everyone is like *squints* what...is a suzie? who is suzie? and kyle is like sUZIE THE SUCCULENT??? MY--HOLY SHIT, SHE'S STILL IN THERE???? and he's unbuckling his seat belt, everyone is SOOOO confused. except for marj, she is totally pleased and bebe is like "sweetie, where are you going???!!" and kyle is like "to get my fucking PLANT obviously!"

and tweek is like "aRE YOU CRAZY, THEY SHUT THE WHOLE PLACE DOWN THERE'S -ACK- ABESTOS AND DEBRIS AND SEWER WATER EVERYWHERE??? YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE, M-MAN!" and kyle is like "I. Am. Not. Leaving. Her. In. There." hops out and sprints

he still has the key to blondie's obviously so he swings the door open, there is water and shit Everywhere, the floor is alllll fucked up and the workers are fucking SHOUTING at him like hello??? you can't be here! it's a liability ft. kyle goin*deadpan lawyer voice middle finger up*

Sue Me.

does crazy ass acrobatics across the floors and coffee table and counters to get to his plant...actually iconique and SLAMS! the door.

the crew drive off, kyle is cradling his plant in the car, his headphones are in and he opens his email to rewatch a video his professor sent him ( you know the one...*stan vc* hi dummy :') <3 ) as they head...

to the crimson dawn manwhoresion where raven and co. have graciously allowed them to stay while blondie's gets renovated...

or you know,

Forever. ;)

-uncle nina, admitted accidental murderer of plants :/

#spoiler alert: suzie lives #kyle is very dedicated to her #and stan...rip #i am sad #but no its fucked up bc kyles coping mechanism is literally to shrivel up & go ice cold again like he goes dark when stan does #i hate my life so much like kyle ft. blonides is hanging out mostly bc theyre Worried abt kyle and tweek accidentally starts talking abt ho #literally batshit insane raven is being via all the negative press abt him and bebe nudges him like tweek ur not boston harbor #quit spilling the tea...ur not supposed to talk abt s-t-a-n #and kyle is just like *drink slam* his glass of boxwine like you can talk about him i couldn't care less...whilist caring so much #BOOOOOOOO i hate u aloof psuedo insensitive kyle #he's hurting so bad it sucks oh my god

[altheasmeadow]

Pick and Choose

WC: 787

Warnings: Bad Parents

Pairing: Seokjin x reader

The day had started off perfectly, Jin woke up to his beautiful girlfriend peppering kisses over his face before the two parted ways to wake up her younger siblings. As soon as the two had begun their relationship, Jin had come to the realization that his lover was basically the mover of her 5 siblings, and quite honestly it bother him that she had been doing it alone for so long, since her father was a drunk and her mother up and disappeared when she was younger, so he helped the best he could. Opening his heart completely to the little kids who looked to him as a father with how much he looked after them all.

Jin walked into the boys’ room with a wide smile that only grew upon seeing the three triplets snuggled up all clad in his old shirts that they had taken to sleeping in, he moved forward and jumped happily into the bed to wake the three up with a tickle attack but when the three giggling children awoke they let out a battle cry and jumped onto his body to return the favor making him pretend to fall back with a defeated cry to indulge in the silliness, “Okay bubbas, get dressed, we got to hurry on if you want to make it to class on time.” He grinned, freeing himself from the clinging trio before walking to the girls’ room to watch his lover wake the two up with a fond smile. She stroked their hair gently and cooed their names out sweetly, getting softer when the girls looked up at her with sleepy eyes and arms held out for their mother figure.

“Come on little ones, time to get ready for daycare.” She hummed, pulling the two into her embrace and hummed as she watched Jin move into the room to pick out the girls’s outfits, as he loved doing every morning. He, of course, picked out clothes that closely resemble the clothes he had for himself, khaki skirts and blue tops for the girls, and once he picked them out he headed to get himself ready for the morning, while his lover helped the girls.

After everyone had gotten ready, Jin’s desire was fulfilled as they all matched in color scheme, and had the kids eating breakfast, Jin stepped out back to take the trash out, just barely missing the two parents arriving through the front door.

“You don’t get to come here and play parents! Okay? You birthed them, but I raised them. These are my kids. You couldn’t tell me the first thing about any of them except their names!” He heard his girlfriend scream causing him to drop the bag and run inside, he burst the door open seeing her standing protectively in front of her siblings while her two parents stood before her trying to get closer.

“They’re our kids, we have a right to them. You did a good job but we’re here now.” The mom dismissed trying to move for the youngest who had the softest spot for the parents but he hid himself behind his eldest sister.

“No, I didn't do a good job. Jin and I did a fantastic job, you don’t get to pick and choose when to be parents. We raised them, we were the ones they went to when they had a scraped knee, we were the ones to help them with homework, we were the ones who worked two jobs each just to provide for them. We are their parents, not you.” She argued back, grasping her brother's head to comfort him, Jin quickly moving his body to join hers in separating the kids from the parents.

“You can’t keep us away from our children.”

“Yes I can. I have the best lawyer in the country and no qualms with taking your asses to court.” 

“How about you let the kids decide who should be their parents?” Her mom countered, smiling smugly as she thought the kids would choose her since she birthed them. 

“Go ahead.”She hummed, backing away from her siblings to allow them the choice, but the five didn’t even let her separate, simply following her.

“Come on guys, We’re your parents!” Her father exclaimed, trying to move forward for them,  only to be shoved back by Jin,who simply raised a brow and shook his head.

“In no world would they leave us, we rebuilt the foundations you broke, we gave them stability and love, we gave them the childhood they deserve. You don’t get to pick and choose when to be parents.” Jin said sternly, before lifting his hand to point at the door firmly. “Get out of our home.”

#bts imagines #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #kim seokjin #jin x reader #jin imagines #bts jin #kpop scenarioes #kpop idol x reader #kpop imagines #kpop #idol imagines #idol x reader

[10-honglazia-24]

Thoughtless: Part II

Ddeonghwa:

You guys reached the airport yet?

You:

We’ll be there in a few minutes, there’s just some traffic but thank God we’re early

Ddeonghwa:

Early enough to sit in all that traffic? 🤔

You:

Don’t be an ass-

Ddeonghwa:

Lol- You’ll get there in time. Let me know when you land okay?

You:

:( you’re gonna let me be bored and all alone in this line?

Ddeonghwa:

I don’t want to- But it’s Monday ???

You:

School-

Ddeonghwa:

Yeeees, exactly. Call me when you land! ✈️ ❤️

You:

Finnne

Ddeonghwa:

🤗🤗🤗

After that, you sigh bringing your phone down to sit in your lap. He seemed a lot happier this morning than compared to how he was yesterday. Maybe things had gotten sorted out? Whatever those things were. You were so deep in your thoughts, worried for your friend, you didn’t realize that the line had started moving shortly after. You had just happened to look out of the window and noticed a familiar face helping gather luggage from a vehicle.

Kang Yeosang.

The boy and his family you were flying to the Maldives with, for your vacation this week. It left an odd feeling in your stomach. You didn’t like this being considered ‘The’ family vacation without Seonghwa and his parents. The whole thing honestly felt so odd, and your mother seemed a little too happy in your opinion.

As the vehicle stopped, you watched your mother climb out and quickly go over to give Yeosang’s mother a hug. For some reason you made a face. You’d never even met these people yet but apparently your parents knew them alot better than you had imagined. You see your mother saying something to Yeosang, then you see his gaze travel over to your car and he’s moving in your direction.

“Ah-“ You feel awkward quickly gathering your things you had in the backseat with you, just in time to turn around and be met with sunlight and his features as he opened the door. “S-sorry, I was on my way.”

The handsome boy chuckled. “It’s fine. Your mother said I should come say hi and see if you needed any help?”

“Uhm- We do have a lot of bags…My mom kind of overpacked, but you were already lifting all you guys’ luggage you don’t have to.”

“Ah- I wasn’t trying to lift anymore luggage anyway.” He admitted giving you a relieved sigh.

Now holding his hand out to you, you look up at him a little surprised, but take his hand as he helps you out of the car. It was this sort of manners that you weren’t used to so in that small action you could tell he was well-groomed. Or at least in the process there of.

You didn’t have much time to say anything else to the boy, now being ushered by your mothers to follow them inside the airport. Yeosang had gone back to join his mothers side leaving you to walk along with your parents. You noticed you didn’t get to see his dad. You would’ve asked your mother, but she was too immersed in her conversation with Yeosang’s mom so you decided not to disturb them. Instead, you looked down to your phone and decided to check your texts with Seonghwa again. Of course he wasn’t going to say anything right now, he was in school. Plus it had only been a few minutes since they had last messaged. Everything felt so wonky not having him go along with this trip.

But you wouldn’t have a choice and you’d have to deal with being away from your friend an entire week.

|

|

|

After your affairs were sorted and you were all making your way through your gate to board your plane, you noticed a man, that you could only assume, was Yeosang’s father had finally joined the group. You finally let your curiosity get the best of you as you moved along the line with your parents.

“Is that Yeosang’s father?” You asked curiously eyeing the man. He held a very serious, stern expression. He seemed like an angry guy, but you were pretty sure he couldn’t help it.

Your father was the one that spoke. “Yes it is. He’s a very important, very busy man so don’t bother him while we’re on this flight.”

“Well geez, I’m not a kid…Just wanted to know.” You muttered before looking away from the man and bringing your attention back to the plane. You decided to send Seonghwa one more text.

You:

About to board- Yeosang’s dad is apparently ‘very important’ and I ‘shouldn’t bother him’ 🙄🙄🙄

Ddeonghwa:

Lol- What about Yeosang..? What’s he like?

You:

Don’t really know yet. Seems very well-mannered

Ddeonghwa:

Oh so he’s boring

You:

More of a gentleman than you. He opened my door for me AND helped me out of the car 🤭

Ddeonghwa:

🙄 your legs work literally just fine

You:

Lol- We’re about to be in our seats, gotta go call you soon

Ddeonghwa:

✈️❤️ don’t harass the big cheese

You couldn’t help but smile at the last little message from Seonghwa. Now going ahead and turning your phone off completely before shoving it into your pocket. You all made your way up to your seats- Well more like your rooms in this case. A first class flight to the Maldives already had you feeling like you were there. As much as you had flew first class, you were always excited to see your area on the plane. You could lock yourself off in your own little space for the next 10-12 hours.

Or so you thought.

“I feel like I should probably know this but- I never got your name?”

You turn around to see Yeosang, getting his things sorted in the empty cabin next to you. Oh. Guess the space wasn’t all yours. Then again…It never really was. Your parents had their own space and you and Seonghwa shared a space. You casually give him your name before settling into your area already, extending out the bed and getting comfy on it before digging around for wherever you had out your laptop.

“And I already know your name- Think everyone in Seoul does at this point.” You joked, hearing an odd chuckle come from Yeosang.

“Mm, yes. Not really what I had in mind for myself but- You know.” He sighs. “I haven’t really gotten to see any other models my age. They’re usually order or really serious.”

You turn your head to give him a questioning look. “Well I’m not a model. I mean not yet anyways- I mean I don’t exactly want to be- I do, just-“ You sigh too not being able to find your words.

“I get it- You just happen to be a little good looking and the child of an entertainment companies CEO so now they want to flaunt it?”

“Exactly! Like I want to showcase my art when I get good, modeling like that but not- Stuck up Gucci kid. Like seriously what NORMAL teenager wears Gucci, Prada and Louis?”

“Exactly- Despite having those things in my closet I don’t really like to wear them so much at least not now- I don’t even have a chance to buy half the things I own. They’re all gifts from parents or managers and other models.” Yeosang readjusts on his bed to face you now.

“Right-?” You readjust your body to do the same, computer finally nestled in your lap. “Literally the only thing I’ve bought for myself this year was this phone case.”

Yeosang laughed as he saw the phone case and held up his own phone to show that he had bought the same Kermit meme to decorate his phone with. Hell of a coincidence but it gave you two something to laugh about and maybe make things a little less tense. It was then, as you found yourself studying the others face for a moment you noticed something you had never seen before. Well- You had seen it at the drop off area but it would have been awkward to ask about it then.

“Hey, Yeosang?”

“Hm?”

“What’s the uh- The mark here?” You hold a finger up to point to the spot on your face, that mirrored where the mark was on his.

“Oh? That’s my birthmark.”

“I’ve never seen it before, not in any of your photos.” You shook your head, tilting it to the side a bit, curiously gazing at the mark.

“ Yeah, they usually cover it up- They said it’s not very aesthetic with my concepts.”

You could tell Yeosang wasn’t very happy with the opinion, but in all honesty you thought it was the perfect aesthetic. You didn’t mind it at all.

“Well I think it looks pretty cool. You don’t see a lot of birthmarks like that. I’d definitely promote it and show it off.” You have the odd boy a smile and he gave you a sheepish grin right back.

It was kind of cute.

“Ahem- So! You ever been to the Maldives?” You finally ask, whipping open your laptop, and scrolling through your random selection of games.

Yeosang nods. “ Yeah, my family likes to go every Summer. I usually go with my twin sister, but- well she’s busy alot. She’s taking off way ahead of me. But I’m proud of her.”

“Mm, I know the feeling. Seonghwa and his family usually come with us but they have some drama going on right now.” You sigh, finally deciding on a generic little cooking game you don’t even remember downloading. Must have been Seonghwa.

“Park Seonghwa? His father’s the CEO of that company with the new girl group right?” Yeosang questions, and you give him a hum.

“Ah…”

Your eye flash up from your laptop hearing his sudden change of tone. “What? What about him?”

“Ah well- It’s not really about him just.. His dad.” Yeosang suddenly whispers.

You quickly shit your laptop, eyes glued to Yeosang. “What do you mean, what about his dad…?” You whisper mirroring his tone.

“Well I don’t know really but I overheard my parents saying something about his dad and something with some of the girls in the company…it didn’t.. Sound good.” Yeosang began to trail off- There was a look on his face you didn’t like at all that insinuated things you didn’t want to pick up on.

You quickly shook your head.m, and opened your laptop right back up.

“No way. No, not Seonghwa’s dad. No way, especially with him not telling me?” You really weren’t going to believe some rumor like that.

“But my parents said-“

“Well your parents are wrong. You haven’t even met them and I’ve know his family for years. There’s always one rumor or the next trying to knock his dad out b cause of his success and this is no different. I’m sure by the time it hits the news, there’s gonna be a lawsuit on the idiot who started it.”

You didn’t mean to take such a tone with Yeosang, but with the way he suddenly went quiet and focused on his own distractions, you could tell you probably hit him kinda hard with the defensive.

But there was no way…

But at the same time…

After hearing what Yeosang had said you thought about the way Seonghwa had been acting before you left. And his fathers attitude. But with those being the allegations? That seemed way too out of hand. Maybe his family was just stressing the whole thing itself. You knew them pretty well. Seonghwa’s father was stern but he was so good to his wife and to Seonghwa. Your parents were a nice couple but not as lovely as his were…

But now that Yeosang had put the idea in your head, you had that sour feeling in your gut again. You weren’t even really playing the game anymore but idly just roaming the icon around the screen. It wasn’t long before your eventually gave up on the entertainment, and decided to try to roll over to get some sleep. Sleep really being you thinking way too much for hours and then finally falling asleep.

All you knew for sure was how relieved you’d be when you landed and were able to call Seonghwa.

#reading #fanfic #ateez yeosang #Ateez #Ateez fanfic #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa #seonghwa x y/n #seonghwa x you

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

*breaks down the door* I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO PICK ANOTHER CHARACTER TO WRITE FOR THIS REQUEST, I ONLY DID FERID-

Fuck fuck fuck fuck *sorts through my brain's search history to find inspiration* alright I pick...

Johann from VNC because fuck you that's why!

Johann Comforting Reader After A Nightmare~

Fuck I love his stupid little triangle mouth smile- Got this image off Pinterest, you know the drill.

🤍🦇 Let's jump right into this, shall we? So there you were, sleeping, and then your dream took a turn for the worst. So you wake up screaming. With me so far? Good.

🤍🦇 Johann is the first on the scene, ready to save you from whatever harmless-yet-terrifying threat has presented itself. Hot on his heels are Dante and Riche, because you're a part of their family at this point and family has to stick together.

🤍🦇 After you explain that it was just a nightmare, Dante will probably leave the room grumbling about lost sleep. Riche will also depart, leaving you alone with Johann. No you're not getting rid of him by downplaying your distress, nice try. He knows you're upset, and will make it his personal mission to comfort you.

🤍🦇 He will sit with you and bother you into telling him about your dream. If you actually don't remember that's fine, but he can tell when you're lying so don't even try. He will see through your act.

🤍🦇 He's going to cuddle you. You're not going to escape him (why would you WANT to?). He will gently hold you to his chest and tell you everything will be alright. He's actually really good at this whole comfort thing. He's practically the mom of the group, so naturally he has to be good at calming people. Somehow, he just always has the right words to say.

🤍🦇 Yes, of course he will stay with you for the rest of the night! All you had to do was ask! If cuddles are what you need, Johann is your guy. He'll snuggle under the covers with you and hold you however is most comfortable for you. He makes an excellent big spoon with how fuckin tall he is, let me tell you (we don't have a canon height, but he appears to be several inches taller than Noé, who is a tall-ass man. I'd put him at about 6'3, maybe 6'4).

🤍🦇 However you choose to cuddle him, one thing won't change: he will hold you as close as possible, and wrap whatever limbs he can around you. It's very comforting, honestly. No need to worry, he'll protect you from the nightmares (and anyone who tries to kill you in your sleep, because that's definitely a thing that happens in the real world and not just his paranoia).

🤍🦇 Lucky for you, Johann is not a loud sleeper at all. He occasionally mumbles things, but not loud enough to wake you. If you stay awake and listen, you might even get some blackmail material!

🤍🦇 All in all, 10/10 experience and you absolutely should go to him for help with nightmares more often. That is not sarcasm, I'm dead serious. He is the king of comfort.

#case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #vnc #case study of vanitas x reader #vnc x reader #vanitas no carte x reader #vnc Johann #case study of vanitas johann #vnc johann x reader #case study of vanitas johann x reader

[storytimewithanonwriter]

Songbird

Single mom! reader x Peter

Part 4

…

Hi all! So, there is a lot in this part! Lol! I hope you all are enjoying this! I didn't realize that I enjoyed writing this much! It has became my way to de-stress in the evenings. Anyway, let me know if you were to be on the tag list! -K

….

Warning for series: fluff, a cute baby, mention of food, mention of sex, implied sex, blood, and injuries, curse words, the use of y/n…, nicknames for the reader: love, bird, songbird, birdie ( probably more), not the best writing and lots of typos !! Lol

“ Holy shit, Pete. What the hell happened?”

“ umm... I uhh...I was mugged. You should see the other guy.” Peter tried to laugh but winced in pain. Peter though to himself multi-verse travel and injuries were not a good combination.

“ I'm coming in. We have to get you cleaned up. Check out the damage and see where to go from there. Why did you come home? Why didn't you go to a hospital? Where have you been for three days?” You spoke so fast, not leaving any time for Peter to respond to questions.

“ I’m fine. It’s just a few scratches. I have been at….” Peter began to lose his balance, only being caught by the door in front of him. His pain kept getting worse. He got bagged up worst than he thought.

“ Just a scratch my ass. Peter Parker, do not make me is my mom voice.”

“ Fine, Fine. Come in” Peter didn’t want to let her in as much as he needed help. This was a way too close to Spider-Man. But Pete knew his bird, and he knew he would not win this battle.

Peter opens the door wider, finally revealing his entire body. He was wearing just grey sweatpants. Damn. You knew Peter was hot, but… Fuck …“ focus y/n” catching yourself starring. You swear you heard Peter laugh at you. Thank the heavens that you just had first aid training at work. First, you need to assess the situation. There was scratching and bruising everywhere. As you looked over his injuries, your eyes found a deep cut on his left side that was severely bleeding.

“ Pete, what the hell happened? “ you try to steady your voice. You were freaking out on the inside, but you didn't want Peter to know.

Peter honestly didn’t remember what part of the battle he was injured. He felt fine until she returned home, so he wasn’t completely lying to you. Wincing as he turned to go to his living room, “ I told you…. I was mugged. I .. uh... I didn’t realize I was hurt until I got home…I …was stupid and fought back. … uh ouch... I’m ok, really. I .. umm … I was at May’s place all weekend… She needed … shit …” Peter bumped into the other side table. Peter thought aloud, “ Tomorrow morning, remind me … I'm getting rid of all the… fucking side tables ….”

All you could do was nod. This was bad. Peter looked like he had been at war. You watched as Peter made his way across the room, grimacing in pain. You were frozen.

“I was … ah… on my way from her place when it happened. I know I should have called this weekend; I… ssss... I’m sorry, bird …. “ He finally made his way over and slowly laid down on his couch “where Maisie is? You should go home to her; I can take care….”

Finally, snapping out of your panic, “Maze is with Eliza, so you are stuck with me. Let me go get my shoes, and we will go to the hospital.” As much as you hated hospitals, you knew that that was where Peter needed to be.

Peter quickly responded, “ No hospitals.”

“Peter, you are hurt pretty bad. That cut needs stitches. And … I... I can’t do that. I mean, my sewing is ok for costumes but not for humans. And … umm … you are losing a lot of blood..”

He cut you off .“ I’m not going to the hospital.” His tone was not harsh but almost annoyed.

“ Peter, you are hurt. You need help. Help that I don’t think I can give you. You need to get checked out. You are not a superhuman. You have to take care of yourself. “

He didn’t say anything. Peter couldn’t go to the hospital. He would have to explain what happened. He couldn’t do that, and even if he did, no one would believe him. A be honest, these were not the worst injuries he just slept off.

“ Fine! If you won’t listen to me, maybe you with listen to May! I’m calling her. Where is your phone? I’m not going to let you bleed ou….”

Peter snapped and raised his voice at you “ No, Y/N! Don’t call May. I’m not going. That’s final.”

Peter saw how shocked you were at how he responded to you trying to help him. He didn’t mean to lose his temper. He was in pain, and you were like a dog with a bone. You were not going to give up. Peter took your hands and sighed. “Birdie… if I go, I will have to contact the police, and then it’s a whole ordeal…. And I’m not too fond of hospitals. It’s not as bad as it looks. I’m not going, ok? “

You took a minute to respond. You had never heard Peter like that. It shocked you.

“Ok. Fine ….Where is your first aid kit?” You were mad, but you wouldn’t let Peter sit and bleed out. Peter told you where the first aid kit was, and you began to work. Peter was quiet and kept his head down for a long time. He knew that he was upsetting you. He felt awful. He was scared. He is still trying to process everything that happened in the past three days.

Finally, a tiny whisper came from Peter, “ I'm sorry, my bird. I'm... It's just...” Peter's feelings about everything that had happened bubbled up to the surface, and he began to cry.

Any anger you had was washed away as soon as you heard the break in his voice. Raising your hand to wipe his tears, you let go of a breath, “ Petey, it’s ok. Look at me, I’m not mad. You just startled me. It's ok.” He was crying harder. He wouldn’t look at you. Taking your hands, you cupped his cheeks so gently, raising his face where his eyes met yours. “Peter, it's ok. You had a traumatic event tonight. Your emotions are valid. Just .. I’m here , ok? I’m not going anywhere .” you finally wiggled yourself onto the couch and placed his head on your lap.

Sitting there running your fingers through his hair, you listen to him cry. There was so much pain in his cry. Peter Parker had been through some shit, you could tell. You sat there for a long and before beginning to hum a tune you had been listening to lately—Songbird by Fleetwood Mac. You begin to sing the softly in the hopes it would soothe Peter

“For you, there'll be no more crying

For you, the sun will be shining

And I feel that when I'm with you

It's alright, I know it's right

To you, I'll give the world

To you, I'll never be cold

Because I feel that when I'm with you

It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds are singing,

Like they know the score

And I love you, I love you, I love you

Like never before

And I wish you all the love in the world

But most of all, I wish it from myself

And the songbirds keep singing

Like they know the score

And I love you, I love you, I love you

Like never before, like never before,

Like never before.”

While you were singing, Peter slowly calmed down. And after the song was over, You sat there for a while just running your fingers through his hair. Lost in your thoughts, you almost did hear Peter.

“ That song... Fleetwood Mac? “ Peter began to sit up, and you helped him.

“ Yeah, it is. It’s one of my favorites.“ you laughed.

“It’s called Songbird. I ... It reminds me of you... Umm, of your nickname for me. I have been listening to it a lot lately.”

Songbird. The lyrics said everything. He simply smiled and pulled you in for a hug. Peter One was right; his Songbird was pretty great. He was not going to let you fly away. When Peter finally let go, you got up and started working on his injuries again. You helped him lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. He winched even now and then.

While cleaning up Peter’s injuries, you noticed some scares. You wonder what happened. Something just didn’t add up. You once jokingly said, “Peter Parker, you are a man of many secrets,” but maybe you were on to something. You were cleaning his last wound when you noticed he fell asleep. He must have been exhausted, or in so much pain he passed out. Fine my ass, you thought. Peter Parker was going to get a piece of your mind tomorrow morning. But for now, You tidied up the area and found a place to rest. Not that you were going to sleep. You curled up in the chair across from the couch, perfect view of Peter, and began a long night.

…

You were up all night almost. You were worried about Peter. You were worrying about Maisie since she wasn’t with you. It wasn’t until you smelled fresh coffee brewing that you fell asleep. Waking up in a different place than you remember being was unexpected. A bedroom. Peter’s bedroom. You had never been in his room before. The sheets smelled like him. Wondering how You got here, You sat up and looked around, taking in the space. You saw photos everywhere—photos of the sunset, skyline, Spider-Man, friends, and family. You saw the picture of the three of you ( You, him , and Maisie from the zoo ) , you smiled. The room suited Peter. Looking around you spotted a couple of photos of Peter and girl. Peter was very young in the photos. You wondered who she was. From the looks of the photos , he was head over heels for this girl. She was beautiful. You knew a lot about Peter , but there was still more to learn. Making your way into the living room, Peter greeted you with a smile.

“ Well, your up early . How are you feeling ?”You said with a smile

“ What can I say? You are a medical genius?“ Peter laughed. You rolled your eyes “ I have always been a fast healer. I was up on my feet the same day I had my appendix out skateboarding.”

“ I don’t believe you, but ok. I’m pretty sure you passed out in pain last night. There is no way you are feeling this good! “

“ Look at me; I am good a new! But seriously, thank you for checking on me. I was in pretty bad shape last night.”

“Anytime, Peter. That’s what friends are for, but the next time we will get you checked out. No if ,ands ,or buts!! You matter to much Peter Parker ! What if I hadn’t come, huh? What would have happened? Did you think about that? You could have bleed out! Or passed out and hit your head or I don’t even kn ..”

“Ok , ok.” Peter would have taken care of himself like he always does, but it was nice to have a helpful hand. He walked over and hugged you. You melted in to his hug and stayed there for a while taking in the moment.

Finally , pulling away, “I do have a question for you, how did I end up in your bed? I was in the living room when I went to sleep…”

“ Oh, uh, I uh woke up in the middle of the night… well, what was left of the night. And I uhh I found you sleeping. You looked uncomfortable in that chair. So, I carried you into my room.”

“Peter! You are fucking injured ! What the hell were you thinking?”

“ I was thinking that you need rest, and you were not going to get good rest in that chair.”

He had a valid point. Sighing “ Thank you, Peter.”

“No, thank you, y/n.”

Peter poured two cups of coffee. He hands one to you. This was a nice way to begin the morning, being with Peter made you smile ( even if he made you want to pull your hair out sometimes).

“ So… what are your plans for the day ?” Peter asked

“ well, its Wednesday… so work. I should actually start getting ready.”The smile that enters has disappeared.

“ yeah , I guess that would make sense. I’m definitely not going in today.” You didn’t want to leave Peter . He seemed better than last night, but you could tell he was still a little worked up .

“ I mean I could stay home today. It’s not like I don’t …” you were cut off by your phone ringing.

“ sorry, it Eliza.” You said as you answered .

“Hey, Eliza! How is Maisie? Did you drop her off at…. what? “ all the color drained from your face. “What the fuck do you mean Maisie is ok but she is at the hospital?!” You ran to the door exiting Peter’s apartment.

Not even telling him where you were going or what happened. Peter didn't have any time to process what was going on.

...

With only slippers on your feet and PJs on your body, somehow the 40-minute walk to the hospital only took 15 minutes... You made your way to the nurses' station.

“ My baby is here. She is with my sister and.. May?” you had forgotten she worked here. It was so lovely to see a familiar face.

“ Hello dear , Maisie is in that room right over there. She has been very brave, mama.”

May walked you over to Maisie’s room . You looked through the window to see little Maisie on the big bed. She had a cast on her little right arm and stitches above her right eye. You were starting to tear up , you were about to loose it.

“ Y/N” May place her hand in your shoulder.

“ I know , that is your baby. Its hard to see them in pain. I remember when Peter was little around first grade he needed stitches for his knee. He fell off if his skateboard. I was a mess, and this is my job. “. May pulled you in for a hug.

“ just take a second for yourself . I know it’s hard .”

Letting go you gathered yourself, “ thank you May.”

“ Go see your baby. She has asked for you.”

Taking a deep breath you walked in to the room .

“ mama “

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Mama is here now.” Hugging her tightly.

“Mama ouch “

“I know, baby. I know. “

Maisie whimpered as you picked her up. You held her for over an hour. Just rocking, soothing, and singing to her as she rested. The doctor came in explaining everything. Letting you know that they wanted to keep Maisie to observe her for a while.

The room was tense. Eliza finally spoke up “ y/n, I’m so …”

“Save it. Just explain to me how the hell this even happened.” Snapping at Eliza.

Taking a deep breath, Eliza started to speak, “ Maisie and I were having a good time. I don’t have work today, so I decided to keep her home. We were about to watch a movie, so I set her down for a minute on the couch. It was only a minute. I went to grab us some yogurt for breakfast, and I heard a crash. She had got off the couch and had pulled the side table down on top of her. I … I … I’m so sorry, y/n. I would never do anything to hurt her. You know that. I … I was so tired. “ Eliza was crying so hard that you could barely understand her. “We didn’t sleep. She was super fussy, but I want to make sure you had a restful night. I know I scared the shit out of you. She cried and asked for you, and I called you as soon as possible. We headed here, and I called you when we got here … “ Eliza gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth. She realized what hospital she had taken Maisie to.

“I’m so sorry. I … I I … I …” Eliza broke down. She couldn’t breathe. She was crying so hard.

Talk a moment to gather your thoughts. You were brought back to that day. Taking your fear and frustration out on Eliza was not the best plan, so you took another deep breath .“Look at me; I’m ok. Maisie will be ok because you did the right thing. She is ok; accidents happen. And this is the closest hospital. I know... I freaked out. This place holds some terrible memories, but you did the right thing. “

Eliza was still visibly upset.

Taking a breath, “Eliza, you didn’t hurt Maze. She was curious. She is little, and things happen. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was scared. I know you are too. It reminded me of the phone call, and then you said what hospital … Just …Hey, come here” you patted the bed next to you and Maze. Maisie had fallen asleep in your arms. Eliza got in the bed, laying her head on your shoulder. “ We still love Auntie Liza! Maybe next, we have a sleepover at my place that's toddler-proofed. Huh? “

Eliza chuckled. “ Yeah, sounds like a plan.” Embracing for a while. Eliza pulls away. “By the way, How was your night?”

“It was ok. I slept for a while and then I woke up to a crash from Peter’s … Oh, shit! Peter!” Sit up carefully to not wake Maisie to get your phone from your pocket. You had 9 messages for Peter. “Shit!Shit”

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

Hey, what’s going on? All I heard was Maisie hospital and you bolted. Just checking in.

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

I know I’m probably bothering you, but any news? May said she saw you, but she won’t tell me anything.

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

I think Maisie may need present ! Boo-boos are scary. Do you think she likes bunnies or kitties better? I can't decide.

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

Never mind, I got both and a Spider-Man.I also found a princess blanket that I think she will like.

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

You like the bakery over two blocks, right ? Also, a stuffie kitty, bunny, and Spider-Man. Not the real things. Lol, but … the real Spider-Man would be fantastic, right?

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

Ok, it’s been like an hour. I know you are busy, but I’m worried about you both. May will not answer my questions .so….

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

Birdie?

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

Going on 2 hours since you ran out of my apartment.

1 message from Peter Parker 🧑🏻‍🔬📸

Listen, I know you are focused on Maisie. I shouldn’t be bothering you. Sorry. I’m just worried. I have been a little anxious since everything that happened last night. I care about you both very much. Anyway, Just update when you can.

“Peter?” Eliza raises her eyebrows.

You only heard the phone ring once before he picked up. Peter had to be sitting with the phone in his hand. “ Peter! I'm so sorry to run out like that. I should have at least let you know what was going on. “

“ It's fine! I understand. I'm just super worried about Maisie. And you! You rushed out, and all I heard was the word hospital attached to Baby Bird’s name. I didn’t know what to do. Then, I thought about when I was little how Aunt May would get me a present to make me feel better after I went to the doctor. Like when I needed stitches on my knee, I got the coolest science kit… wow didn’t realize how nerdy that was until now“ Peter laughed and continued, “So, I went out. And well, I couldn’t decide what to get Maze, so I ended up with three different stuffies and a blanket. Then it wasn’t fair that you didn’t get a present, so I went to the bakery you like and yeah …I’m … umm... I’m rambling. What happened? How is Maisie ?”

“ it’s ok, Peter. She is ok. She has a few stitches over her right eye, and her right arm is in a cast. Umm.. yeah … uh… I will tell you everything later. We are going to come home in a few. They just wanted to keep her for observation for a while. I’m so sorry, Peter. I should have called sooner. I would have been…. “

“Hey, don’t worry about me. You are doing what you need to do. Maisie needed her Mom. I was just worried. I’m glad she is ok.“

“ Thanks, Pete. Now, you know how I felt last night.”

“ how I felt last night, “ Eliza mouthed. If looks could kill, Eliza would be dead

“ You were worried?”

“ Yes! Peter I was scared shitless! “

“Scared shitless!!!! “ Eliza was on her feet whisper screaming.

“ STOP!!” You mounted to her.

“ but, birdie, you were so calm, though. “

“ It wouldn’t have helped to let you know I was panicking. I … I … Anyway, how about I call you when we get home. You can come and visit. I’m sure her majesty princess Maisie would love to see her royal subject, especially if he has gifts. She has missed you.” Laughing as Eliza rolled her eyes.

Peter laughed “ Tell her majesty her subject will be waiting “

“ bye Petey” you said as you hung up the phone.

“Last night!! HOW I FELT LAST NIGHT!!! What the hell happened last night?!!?! Y/N! I need to know everything.”

With this outburst, Eliza had woken up Maisie. She did not look like a happy camper.

“ Shhh! Loud! “

“ I know baby. Eliza woke you up, didn’t she? “ shot a look at Eliza.

“Uh-huh!!!” you handed Maisie her favorite blanket. Maisie snuggled into you more trying to sleep again.

In hushed tones, “ Eliza, nothing happened!!! It’s a long story. Peter got mugged and I ended up in his staying the night at his place.”

“ Oh God, that is not what I expected to hear. Is he ok? “ you shook your head yes” “wait !! You stayed the night!!!?!!!“

“Nothing happened!!”

“Sure…”

“ Oh my god! Eliza, Peter had been through a traumatic experience. He refused to come to the hospital even though he was bleeding profusely. I had to stay.”

“ Spill everything! Now!” Eliza was determined to her the story of last night.

You end up Sending the next 30 minutes explaining everything to Eliza.

“ that’s exactly what happened. You were here for the phone call and text. So yeah.”

she just laughed at you.

“ I can't with you. Peter is great. You need to go for it,y/n. He obviously is in love with you, and you love him.”

“ Eliza, we are just friends,” you respond.

“Just know when you marry him, I’m the maid of honor. Not that bitch from your school, got it?”

“ Elizabeth!!”

Taglist!!!!

@paw-sneeze , @venomsvl

#andrew garfield x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm!spiderman x reader #spider man x reader #spider man fanfiction #peter 3 #andrew!peter fluff #andrew!peter parker #andrew!peter imagine #peter parker fic #andrew!peter x you #peter parker imagine #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman x you

[fuwaprince]

I'm in a terribly dark place after coming home. Sad and tired. Angry. I'm sorry for speaking about my life again. I wish I could post without bothering anybody

I went out last night with the same old dude for a cig run. I thanked him for making time for me and gave him some of the frosted brownies that my stomach couldn't handle eating. I wanted to make it as worth it for him as possible since I know people's help is usually conditional. The brownie offering wasn't enough for him. He wanted more.

I had already been crying all day and night and just wanted to leave the house for a break. Just wanted something to change since I was basically rotting away in bed. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Anybody's company would do. I reach out online often for strangers that want to meet for a once time distraction.

When I make it to the gas station, I get two sodas. One for me and one for him. The girl cleaning the drink machines who is also the girl working the register was so sleepy and exhausted that I had to help her check out my items. She looked at me like she was struggling and she could clearly see the struggle that I was going through by looking at my face. I told her, "enjoy the rest of your shift" and she told me that she really appreciates that and to have a safe night. Seeing her was the best part of my whole damn day honestly. She kept apologizing for being tired and I just kept saying "no, thank you for everything you do", "thank you for working", "thank you for being here". It meant something to hear her wish me safety.

I go back to the guy's car and we drive to some empty lot so that I can smoke a cig. He kept relentlessly trying to force me to touch him, as per usual, by guiding me with his hands and pulling me into him while I'm standing. It was so annoying and forceful. I kept saying no angrily, stepping away and dancing around him with my lit cig to avoid being touched... After a long fucking time and many failed attempts at trying to force me, it was enough to get him to stop. Glad that I didn't play the role he had in mind but I don't enjoy the consequences either.

I thought about my ex who is the only other person irl who sometimes gives me rides. One time he dropped me off and told me things like "I COULD be like them" "I COULD take advantage of you" as if he's doing me a favor by not. Thanks ex of mine, that's so sweet of you to not violate me!

Guy who just got rejected again cried a bunch next to me and mumbled shit under his breath for the rest of the night. Said maybe he should leave then which reminds me of the time he suggested that he should care less because I didn't let him touch me during a car ride that I asked for in the middle of the night.

He gives backhanded ass comments all night long about how maybe I'll finally do something for myself and work harder to live the life most privileged people such as himself just get born into. He tried randomly bringing up how he saw screenshots of texts I sent to my mom that weren't very kind. I'm not sure why. He just wanted to spite me for not complying.

PS I would say that shit to her face in front of anybody and everybody. I would post it on my blog. I don't give a fuck. I don't take any of it back. She failed as a mother of two. She abused a dog to death. She failed to protect me, denied me a relationship with my birth dad and his whole family, lied that her most recent husband was my father and let him abuse me all my fucking life. She didn't even tell me my race out of shame and groomed me to hate "Spanish" people (she's too afraid to say Mexican, idk why). I would've never found out if I wasn't so damn persistent to find out why her stories don't add up. She sabotaged the benefits I was depending on in hopes I starved to death. Literally. Fuck her. When I called her crying that my ex had broken my bones and left me with a bloody face, she told me I was a liar and made sure to tell everyone else I was a liar too (despite my ex OPENLY ADMITTING TO BEING VIOLENT TOWARDS ME. I had to beg him to tell them it was true. She and her friend's whole family still call me a liar). She denied me being raped as a child. She acted like me calling CPS would ruin the family the day I threatened to without really knowing what CPS was. Her husband was going to choke me if I didn't. My mom has done FUCKED UP SHIT. FORCED ME TO LIE AND PRETENDED HER DENTURES BROKE TO GET MONEY FROM HER FAMILY MEMBERS SO SHE COULD FUEL A GAMBLING ADDICTION INSTEAD OF USING IT TO PAY FOR US TO HAVE MORE THAN JUST EGGS AND RICERONI DURING THE 2008 RECESSION. She forged my signature to move me schools when I gained the courage to tell a counselor at my highschool about the abuse when I was a freshman. She told me I was a liar and that I never got raped after the doctor whispered to her during an appointment that my fucking child hymen was broken and asked if she knew why. She told me to lie for her and to protect her husband so that he would still pay for the house he would eventually kick me out of. She said they'd take my brother and I and split us apart into different foster homes if I did and I would never see him again. She threw belts at me on my birthday. She took a whole rack of belts that her husband had in the closet and angrily threw them on top of my crying body on my 18th birthday. She said "you want to hang yourself? Here! Hope this helps!". She left me waiting after school until 9pm regularly. Telling me not to come home even though it was only across the bridge and down a few easily walkable streets. She told me I would get raped if I did. She'd ignore my calls from the payphone because I didn't have a phone growing up. She told me it was because I didn't deserve one and I would use it to talk crap about her. She said that's the same reason she didn't give me braces "why would I fix your ugly teeth? You use them to talk shit about me". She threw knives at me and my little bro when I was 7. She would tear down the whole house, pack it into a box and LEAVE without telling anybody where for so long. My brother and I would cry. And if we went to our grandma's house or knocked on the neighbor's door, we would get punished for "bringing our problems to other people". My mom has done horribly fucked up shit. She would attack me and rip apart all my belongings. All the art I was proudly posting on my empty walls. She'd destroy whatever I put up in her routine attacks. Then she would leave me crying to clean her mess after unplugging the home phones and leaving. I was too young to figure out why they wouldn't work and I remember being so desperate to call my elementary school friends for help. When I told them what happened, she would tell them that I was a liar seeking attention and not to listen to me. When I told people I was suicidal, she told them I was spoiled and fine because I had both my parents (I didn't). I didn't have lights in my bedroom until I was in my senior year of highschool. When I lost my baby, she said God punished me because I'm bad.

He asked if I would share a place with him again and I told him it's polite to offer but no because I don't want to commit suicide from being mistreated in another shitty home situation where if I don't abide by people's every command, they kick me out on my ass... Which is exactly what would happen. I'm not trying to be owned, trapped as a sex slave and threatened to be thrown back onto the streets if I don't play the role he casts onto me. I don't consent to it. Not gonna happen. People who don't understand the situation will tell me that I'm choosing to be miserable by not accepting his offer. People like his mother will say I'm a "bad woman" for not just marrying her entitled brat. That's who she is. She lies to people saying I threaten her and that I'm crazy nowadays. She tried showing off some screenshots of texts that I sent her. I hope anybody who judges me based on a few angry texts know that they're part of the problem.

I'm back home now. I don't want to exist. I don't want to be. I really wish somebody would smoke me out so that I can pass out in bed and hopefully not wake up crying tomorrow morning. I'm coping how I can. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to be here. I'm so desperate to escape my situation but all my opportunities to leave are actually just worse options. I wish I had SOMEBODY here who actually wanted good for me. I feel like I don't have anyone.

Thank you again for following my shitty life story. I'm sorry for being so sad. Things aren't fine. I just want life to be okay

#i need emotional support #i need care #i need unconditional love #i need somebody to depend (not weed) #i need a hug #i need financial support #i need shelter that isn't plagued with terrorism and mistreatment. #i need friends who will hang out with me late at night without violating me #i need an applogy for how shitty my life sucks #i need good parents #i would reslly really really like to smoke with somebody chill so that i wasn't alone and fantasizing about terrible things #don't read this but if you do brace yourself for crap #i love you #babbling

[middaymusings]

First entry.

They are always the hardest. It's where you have to let yourself be vulnerable, and let things out. Thats where I struggle. In both face to face communication, and writing. I don't like letting people in, I don't like the feeling of being judged. But who does? I suppose, my whole life has been a whirlwind of criticism, judgement and just, not really being happy.

When people say it's a part of childhood trauma, I never really put much thought into it until recent years. My son is autistic, and my daughter is not. In raising them, I always find myself saying "I don't want them feeling how I did when I was little." It gets me to thinking about my childhood. It's bittersweet, really. I remember fun times with my Dad. I remember feeling a sense of love from him. he was honestly the only one to come forth regularly and say "I love you." to me. My mom, not so much. She was focused on their business, and left me to my own devices.

I got into a lot of trouble as a kid, with no supervision, and being able to do whatever I want, I also got my ass handed to me too. My dad used his massive hand, or a switch off the tree wrapped in duct tape. I had bruises, and I showed him once. After that he said he was never going to use corporal punishment on me again. He didn't. That didn't stop my Mom. She would slap me all day every day, until the day I blocked her swing, and knocked her off balance. She glared at me, and said "Next time I won't miss." I glared right back and stayed silent. There never was a next time. I think she knew in that moment that I had my Dad's temper.

My children are amazing, I love them both so much. Being an mom of an autistic child is so hard though. It's something I'm not used to, and something my husband isn't used to. I struggle everyday. I work full time, and I let things pile up. I have no choice though. Asking for help is comical. Family says "just leave it, I'll do it." Three days later, nothing. Not help with laundry, dishes, general cleaning. It's exhausting. Compound that with having a little one who is beyond destructive, and doesn't communicate yet, sometimes I wish I could just stay in bed all day and block out the world.

But I'm a woman. Wife, Mom, the one who carries the burden of everyone. I'm expected to get things done. Need new underwear? Ask Mom. Need a last minute ride to a friends house? Ask Mom. Mom's at work, and broke, but you need money for whatever. Ask Mom. My husband doesn't complain, laundry has piled up for weeks and he doesn't say a word. That leads me to believe he's either just sick of my depression as a whole, or he actually understands that I'm only one person.

That's all for this post. My toddler is climbing on the kitchen counters again, trying to flood the sink. I guess this is what it was like after all, I'm raising my toddler self.

#personal #personal post #autism #autistic #wife life #musings #thoughts #childhood trauma #mentally tired #follow #depression #personal vent #midlifewomen

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Well guys The Spawn has officially turned shit up to 11 & has apparently lost her damn mind. Brace yourself because however bad you think this is going to be, dear readers, it is so very much worse.

My dad grabbed me after work yesterday so I could pick up more of my stuff from his place. My friend who lives next-door to him came over to hang & have her twin sons grab 2 pieces of furniture that I was giving her. We were in the living room talking about L's kids when I hear The Spawn in the dining room say to her bf, "I hear her talking fucking shit in there."

I popped around the corner so I could see her & said, "Actually I'm talking about the people I live with because despite your personal beliefs not everything is about you."

She pulled the sarcastic "yeah ok whatever." And I said "Ok, let's talk about not touching other people's stuff without asking. I live with a 4 yr old who can grasp that concept, yet when I arrived here today my expensive antique tea cups and drip candles were in jack-o-lanterns outside." She started going off about how I needed to talk to her bf because he did that but that of course I love him so I'm just going to yell at her. I explained that #1 I wasn't yelling & #2 I was speaking to both of them because he was standing right there and they BOTH use my stuff & trash my living room. She started screaming "fuck you" at me over and over, at which point I said "You asked Grandpa why I won't talk to you? Here it is. You are abusive & it was making me physically sick."

She screamed "Oh you wanna see abuse? I'll show you fucking abuse!" & ran over to get an inch from my face. Having been in abusive relationships before, I instinctively put my hands behind my back so no accusations could be made but didn't move or flinch. Then she screamed "Yeah that's what I thought you fucking bitch."

As she walked away, I calmly stated that while I had intended to be kind & leave some of my stuff behind, that was no longer happening since she wants to continue to be entitled and abusive, so they need to prepare because I own pretty much everything downstairs. She LOST IT. She ran over screaming about how she was going to beat my ass & "catch a domestic". She tore off my favorite necklace, tore at my shirt, and when her bf pulled her off me her hands were around my throat while she screamed "I'll fucking kill you, you bitch!" As he pulled her away she was still screaming about me 'abandoning my 18 yr old' at which point I calmly reminded her that I didn't kick her out, she still lives rent free, I can't abandon an adult, and everything that has happened is a direct consequence of her treatment of me.

She then continued to scream that she was going to beat my ass until she was literally pulled out of the house & shoved into her car by her bf.

For my part, I kept my hands behind my back & remained calm. My friend was in shock, as was my dad, because generally if people are around she behaves so that she can maintain the "my mom is an abusive monster" narrative. My friend immediately told me to let her know when I'm bringing a truck to get my stuff & she and her twins will help me & L get it all into boxes and into the truck.

I'm honestly heartbroken. I was able to maintain composure because I've experienced that sort of turn on a dime, accept no responsibility behavior before... from her sperm donor whose rights I had removed the moment she was born. And obviously I'm now deeply worried about my stuff that is still there because she's spiteful and cruel. So I'm trying to figure out how to move everything asap.

I'm so tired and so sad. I came home and just cried for like 2 hrs.