#please im so grateful for everyone *cries*

[spookykoolkat]

kinktober | grateful - j.m.

kinktober day nine - cockwarming

pairing: joel miller x plus size!reader

wc: 2.17k

summary: being joel's girlfriend meant you saw sides of him no one else ever saw. one of them was how he just loved to be in your presence, to feel you, to touch you — to be buried inside of you.

warnings: 18+ ONLY!!! MINORS ARE NOT WELCOMED!!! NO AGE = BLOCKED. mentions of violence and sexual violence *if you blink you will miss it it's not a main theme!*, mentions if blood, dirty talk, p in v, cockwarming, slight somno.

an: gosh im so behind on this but i WILL catch up. i have a concert tmrw im very excited! also this one is very short, but i still love it 🥹

reblogs, likes & comments are so very appreciated i love u guys 🥹

⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧ °｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧

YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT it meant to be in a relationship – with joel. somehow, years after you got lost with the group you’d traveled with for months, you ended up in the midst of a bunch of men on horses pointing their guns at you. 

one of them being joel, and his brother. you were cut up, bloodied and bruised, in the freezing winter with hardly anything on. you remembered looking around you at the men that circled you, your hands raised but just barely because you had a stab wound on your left shoulder, crying. 

“please, i, i can leave just, please don’t kill me, i’ll go,” you cried frantically. 

every thought was going through your mind right now. you were half naked, shivering and near frostbite basically, the only thing warming you up would be the blood pouring from your wounds. there were only two things that could happen. 

they’ll trap you, have their way with you, then leave you for dead. or, they shoot you because they think you’re infected. 

“please don’t hurt me, i’m, i’m not infected, i swear.” you sobbed, looking down at your knees that felt numb being buried in the snow. 

you heard a shuffle, then something hit the floor, and the crunch of snow under a pair of boots. until you saw them right in front of you, and the person lowered themselves down to your height. 

the man tilted your chin up with his glove-covered fingers, and made you look at him. 

“you ain’t got nothin’ to be scared of, come on, we’ll get ya some clothes,” 

and that was it. joel was the one who kept you away from the men that stared you down like a piece of meat that day, he kept you away from tommy, who kept telling him it was a bad idea. but quickly referenced when he and ellie came into town, and they took them in like nothing. 

he kept you safe. and he let you stay with him for the time being, until you managed to find a job down at the local bar. then, the two of you kind of went your separate ways. you found a little house at the corner that tommy told joel to give you, and managed to live by yourself for the year you were there. 

joel didn’t want you on patrol routes, or to forage for things that the town needed. he needed you safe, even when he wasn’t there. 

you hadn’t talked to joel, but he managed to come to the tipsy bison every friday, sitting at the bar by himself and watching you. 

“you know,” you start as you are cleaning the beer glasses and wiping down the sticky table after closing. joel was the only one still there. 

“you come here every friday, ever since i started working here, but everyone i’ve ever heard from tells me you like to drink alone. in the comfort of your own house,” you said, wiping the bar down in front of him. 

“jus’ makin’ sure you ain’t in no trouble over here,” he mumbled behind his last drink, downing the rest of the mahogany liquid. he did a subtle look down your shirt as you wiped the bar down in circles, watching your cleavage come into view. 

you just chuckled. “i think i’ll be okay. i promise you’ll be the first one i go to if i need help.” 

that made a small smile tug on his lips. 

“let me walk ya home,” 

so he did. except he didn’t leave after that. that night, the two of you drank a little more at your place, and things got a little heated. in the midst of stretching you out for the very first time, he was whispering things you would’ve claimed were little nothings, but seemed as if he was declaring his need for you. 

“fuck baby, tell me, whose pussy is this? who else is stretchin’ ya out like this?” 

“pretty fuckin’ girl, i swear i’ll fuckin’ kill for ya, won’t let nobody come near ya,” 

���you ain’t leavin’ me, darlin’. this pussy is fuckin’ mine,” 

and you never did, and he always kept his promise. four years later, after him being the one to fix your wounds and give you clothes, a place to stay — you lived with him. ellie ended up being able to take patrol routes occasionally, moving into a small house with dina. she was even glad he had someone to look after him, to take care of him as he cared for everyone. 

joel had just came in towards the end of the night from patrolling with tommy, mumbling about how he’s sort of an idiot. you could barely hear his banter from your bedroom, ears perking up at the sound of the door opening and slamming closed.

“baby?” you called out from the bedroom as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer. his eyes searched for you in the darkness of the living room, until he ended up walking to the back hall to the room you both slept in. 

his face softened, giving a little smile as he walked over to you and plopped on the bed next to you. the force almost made you drop the book you were reading, so you dog-eared the page and put it on the table as you turned to curl into him. 

“you smell like outside,” you said as you crinkled your nose. 

“fuckin’ tommy, stressin’ me out. he wanted t’ stay longer for maria just in case but it was a fuckin’ ghost town, nothin’ was even there, but he’s fuckin’ stubborn.” 

you just sighed and let your face rest on his chest as his arm threw over behind you, rubbing the side of your body. “well, you’re home now.” 

he sighed, taking a swig from the beer and moved to put it on the bedside table. he just threw his head back, used his forearm to cover his eyes and breathe in and out. you just looked at him, a little empathetic. 

you started to kiss his chest, the one with the dirty shirt he wore to patrol and up his body, to his neck and jaw. with the movements, you swiftly swung your leg over one side and straddled him, making his arm move and his head tilting down to get a look at you. 

you just watched him, watching you, and smiled as you sat directly on his groin. 

“i know you’re stressed, but,” you started and rubbed over his tummy and pecs, “i need you.” 

you said with lust in your eyes, and he just smirked as he watched you reach under his shirt to feel the warmth of his body. 

“my baby needs me, ‘s that right?” he asked lowly, his voice sounding raspy and gruff. his hands rested on the width of your hips, loving the way you were so curvy and plush for him.

you just nodded, and moved to where you could unbuckle his pants and try to shimmy them down with his help. after you got his pants and boxers to his knees, you spit in your hand and gripped the shaft of his half hard cock. 

“i love you,” you said as you started to feel him harden in your hands, his own hands moving to the tank top you had on and yanking the fabric down to see your breasts. 

“you know i love you, baby,” he said and reached to play with your heavy breasts, tugging your nipple and playing with both of them so he could watch them peak. 

“i’m just real tired, honey,” he started as he felt your grip on his cock soften, and watched your face turn with disappointment until he grabbed your face and made you look at him. 

“you wanna help me out, darlin’?” he asked and you nodded with your eyebrows furrowed, “alright then, come lay down right here,” 

he patted the side of the bed that you slept on, and you let go of his cock before pouting and sliding down to the side next to him. you faced the opposite direction, facing the wall as you heard him get up and start taking all of his clothes off before sliding under the blankets with you. 

“you’re so fuckin’ pretty, baby, such a pretty fuckin’ pussy you have,” he said in your ear as he pulled you flush to his back, gripping your asscheeks before pulling one cheek apart from the other, feeling the wetness you gathered at your cunt. 

“always so wet f’ me, always so good to me,” he breathed on your neck. he felt your legs move apart so he’d have more access, and he just smiled, kissing on your shoulder. 

you didn’t know what he was planning on doing until you felt him guide the tip of his fully hard length up and down your cunt, still using one hand to move the thickness of your ass so he’d have access to your juices.

“joel,” you whined and moved your hips back to his, and finally felt his tip slip inside of you. 

“please,” you begged as he stretched you completely, feeling full even as he’s halfway. 

he lifts the blankets to watch you take him from behind, watching how his cock the was lathered with your juices as he thrusts softly into you before he bottoms out completely. 

but he doesn’t move, and instead kisses on your shoulder before going to your back, kissing there and wrapping his arm around your waist to rest on the fat of your tummy. 

“wait, joel i-” you started before he just squeezed your breast, leaving his hand to rest there. 

“mm-mm, we’re goin’ to sleep,” he said, but the feeling of his cock being buried inside of you was too distracting. you couldn’t sleep. 

“but joel,” you whined, your hand resting on top of his as you felt the heat of his breath against your neck. 

“go to sleep, i promise i’ll give you want you want baby, jus’ let me feel you like this, yeah?” he asks and you involuntarily moan a little, your movements of trying to fuck back on his cock failing. 

“i love feelin’ you like this, sweet girl. could be buried in this fuckin’ cunt for years,” he whispered as he squeezed your tit again, “you fit me so fuckin’ perfectly,” 

“i love when you fill me up, joel,” you whispered ss you hugged his arm, leaving kisses on it and making joel smile against your skin. 

“aw, my baby, loves when i just keep you on my cock, just so i can feel you. love when you keep me warm inside that little fuckin’ cunt,” he growled and you whined, trying to squirm and get some movement in. 

he just holds you tight, not letting you move. the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim made your cunt clench, and he groaned at the feeling. you felt like you were suffocating, practically feeling his cock in your throat as he just laid there behind you and kissed your skin. 

“go to sleep, baby. i promise i’ll make ya cum over n’ over til’ i gotta leave,” he said, and your heart skipped a beat at the proposition.you knew he was telling the truth, because he’s done it before. 

he’s made you soak the sheets before it even hit six in the morning, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you and ravishing in it. the best thing he could ever do with his time is watch you fall apart because of him, and make you feel good. 

so, you fell asleep with him still inside of you, feeling the dull throb of his cock and your cunt mixed together, the feeling of when he would move to pull you closer because he slipped out of you a little bit. 

he craved you, even in his sleep. 

and the next morning when he woke up, he was still buried inside of you and looked at where you two connected, seeing the pool of your arousal leaking onto him, and on the bed. 

so he kept his promise, and used the newfound arousal you built up to slide out of you, and slide right back in. until you woke up, and tightened on his cock as he fucked you awake. 

joel was obsessed with you, and that meant if he could have you sitting on his cock while he did his day to day things, he would. and he’s tried. but feeling you soak him, squeeze him and cry out for him made him feel a whole other type of gratefulness. 

you were grateful he was the one that took you in, he was the one that cared for you and protected you, and he was grateful that you let him walk you home that night, grateful that you only trusted him and not anyone else. 

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TAGLIST

@awilderi @nerdieforpedro @cyb3rluvvxx @joelmillers-girl @pedritoferg @bethanymccauley @dirtydianaahah

let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist!

#plus size smut #smut #fat girls #plus size reader #joel miller #joel tlou #kinktober #halloween #joel the last of us #tlou joel #tlou hbo #tommy miller #the last of us #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #joel miller smut #the last of us hbo #joel miller x reader #joel miller x plus size reader #chubby smut #the last of us series #joel miller tlou #joel x reader #tlou smut #chubby #kinktober 2023 #joel tlou x reader #joel miller the last of us

[akwolfgrl]

How sweet it is to be loved by them part 4

Luffy sat with Koby and the little girl who fed Zoro, Rika, outside of the bar where Rika lives above. Luffy could smell Sanji along with the smell of cigarettes.

“Did he really say it was delicious!?” Rika asked excitedly her eyes wide and big smile on her face.

“Yup! He ate the whole thing!”

“Is ture that zoro was arrested for killing an animal?” Koby asked her.

“Yah, it was really scary but he saved me and killed Helempos' pet wolf. He gets away with everything because his dad is the lieutenant here he's always mean and really scary,” Rika informed them. “After all that Helempo said if didn't do as he told him he would kill mom and me in his place. The Morgan's run this town, if you disobey them they just execute you, so everyone is scared of them,”

“So he's not a bad guy after all,” Koby sounded amazed even thought Sanji had already told them all about what happened.

“Of course he isn't!” Rika defended Luffys future crew mate. “I just told you who the bad guys were!”

“Who dares to raise thire head? I'll tell my dad and you'll be dead! Do you wana end up like RoronoaZoro? Im gonna publicly execute him in three days wana join him?” The grating laugh of helmet the guy with an ass for a face pissed Luffy off.

“Three days?” That wasn't right, Luffy walked right up to him. “Didn't you say you were giving him a month?”

“Who are you? How rude walking up to me! Besides it doesn't matter, only an idiot would actually belive that I was only toying with him!” He laughed again as if he wasn't about to kill someone after starving them.

Luffy punched him, the omega would have fallen to the ground if not for luffy holding on tight to his shirt collar. Before he could go in for another punch Kobys arms warped around him pulling him away. “Luffy! Please stop! You need to calm down!”

“You bastard! You want to mess with the marines? You'll be next to die!”

“Koby, I've decided! I'm done waiting for him to make up his mind. Zoro will join my crew, Sanji too,” Luffy would have waited but not anymore.

<>

Sanji aprishted Ririka allowing him to work in her bar, bar food wasn't his specialty but it was better then selling his slick, not that was any place to do so here in this small town. Thire was some comsion going on outside.

“Sanji do you mind watching the place for a moment?”

“Of course not,” Ririka took a step outside to investigate comasion.

Rika her daughter shuld have been back by now, she had a habit of trying to sneak food to the Moss. As much as Sanji loves the sentiment behind the gesture he'd rather she not risk it. He knew that if it came down to it, him and his husband could take down Axe hand Morgan.

“But mom!” Rika cried out as she was urahed inside.

“But mom nothing I've told you to leave him alone it's to dangerous,”

“But I have to! He saved me, if it wasnt for me he wouldnt be tied up!”

“He chose to kill the wolf, he could have grabbed you and ran, I'm grateful he saved you life of course I am, but it's dangerous to go against Lutinet Morgan, I don't want to see you hurt,”

“But I'm fine! When I got and coughjt and thrownt over the wall someone cught me,” Rika failed to resume her mother. Why were the Marines tossing g children over walls is what Sanji wanted to know.

“A wall! Oh honey you are not going back thire and that's final,”

“But that doesn't matter! Helempo said he was gonna kill Mr. Marimo! He wasn't going to give him thirty days but was just messing with him!”

Sanji felt his heart stop. This can't be happening it just can't. He had to go he had to stop it. He ripped off his apron and ran out the door. It was rude of him to just leave without saying anything, but he had to go. He ran down the streets, hoping he could make it in time to save his husband.

#one piece #fanfic #alpha beta omega #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #zoro #zoro x sanji #monkey d. luffy #luffy #luffy x sanji #luffy x zoro #luffy x sanji x zoro #married zosan #zosan #lusan #zolu #zolusan #how sweet it is to be loved by them #omega sanji #alpha luffy #alpha zoro

[ren-054]

I have a few old self-insert dca fanfic excerpts (part of a larger story in my brain) I come back to from time to time to edit and I thought I could share one of them with anyone interested

Look if you want! I like it but it’s also heavily self indulgent and im going to try and not edit it too much to retain the initial feel I wanted from it

===========================

Basic premise: Y/N came to the Pizzaplex with their friends and wandered off into the daycare while no one was there and (due to their smaller than average size) was briefly confused for a lost child by the Daycare Attendant and stuff happens

In this case, Y/N is just about to leave when the lights go out and has a bit of an anxious breakdown (also they’ve already met and introduced themselves to Moon)

===========================

Whoops

(that’s just what it’s called in my notes don’t ask)

A waning noise blared throughout the daycare, and I froze as my vision appeared to dim. No, that couldn’t be… Was this a power outage?

“Shit.” Before I knew it, I was back in the dark. I tried pushing on the doors to the exit, but they refused to move. I was locked in. There was screaming from outside the daycare. The entire plaza must’ve gone out.

Well, at least I’m in here, so I don’t have to deal with all that chaos. I hope the guys were alright, though…

“WhAT?!” I heard Sun shriek, causing me to jump. “No.. Nononono!! It’s opening hours! The power shouldn’t be going out like this now!! I-I’m not ready to—”

He sounded like he was on the verge of laughing and crying. Sun was panicking. Why was he panicking?

“Sun?” I called into the dark. “Sun, are you alright? What’s happening?”

“I, I don’t know, star!! Hahahaha!” The attendant crackled back. “Jus-Just don’t come any closer!”

I don’t think I could’ve gotten closer if I tried. My feet felt like they weighed thirty tons. I was paralyzed. People were still screaming. I couldn’t see. The only other individual in here with me was acting strange, and I couldn’t see where he was. The doors were locked. What was going on? It was just a power outage right? Why did everyone have to be screaming?

Somewhere in the daycare, I could hear Sun muttering to himself. He sounded like he was in pain, his voice box sending out garbled static between utterances, as if gasping for air. I couldn’t move. My breaths became deliberate since it felt like my lungs wouldn’t operate otherwise.

I… was scared.

Come on, Y/N, you know the drill. Let’s just lie on the ground for a second and take some time to calm down. It’s just a power outage. The staff should have it back on in no time.

I slowly lowered to the ground until I was lying on my side. I curled my legs in for the added warmth and got my head comfortable on the matted floor. Just deep breaths… Take deep breaths..

In… Out… In.. O-Out…

A deep chuckle caused my breath to hitch. “Y/N~ I know you’re not asleep~”

Oh… Oh no..

I opened my mouth to say something, to let Moon know I wasn’t trying to pretend to sleep, but no words came out. My throat only allowed a whimper to escape before I quickly cut it off, throwing a hand over my mouth. Fuck.

There was a light rhythmic clanking of metal, deliberate and slow, in tandem with the sound of bells, growing louder with each step. I couldn’t help but stiffen when my periphery began to glow scarlet, telling me the light was aimed straight at my back. He was right there. I’ve already met him, already knew what he looked like, but right now… Right now just wasn’t the time.

Stubbornly, I swallowed my cries and blinked away the tears. I didn’t want to cry, really. My body just tended to react this way under stress. Sensation was beginning to fade in my hands and feet, creeping up my limbs. I felt cold…

There was a pause. He hadn’t moved. “…Y/N?”

I flinched, the sound of my name suddenly grating to the ears. My heart beat fast and loud, pounding in my chest, painfully. Static burned under my flesh. No, no, please don’t ask me anything. Don’t speak to me. I’m not here.

I could hear a slight shifting of fabric. He may have crouched down. “Hey… Starlight, what’s wrong?”

I remained still.

“Can you speak?” The question caught me off guard, but I nodded my head, letting him know I was listening. Normally, this kind of question would make me outrageously upset in a state like this, but the way he asked it didn’t feel condescending. It felt like he was actually asking, checking what he needed to know, like how something programmed to care for children would act.

“I’m going to pick you up off the floor. Is that alright?” I watched as the red light moved through the dark, becoming more concentrated. In my head, I could imagine Moon looming over me, reared up but steady, waiting. Weakly, I nodded my head, barely managing a whisper.

“Yeah… you can.”

My skin shuddered the moment Moon’s hands made contact, his touch icier than I remembered. He kept them there, however, resting along my waist and back as he waited for me to acclimate. When it appeared that my muscles had finally relaxed, Moon gently scooped me up, pressing me close to his chest.

As soon as he had a secure hold on me, the attendant’s body seemed to… buzz somewhere inside. I squirmed at the feeling, worried that it meant something wrong had happened, but then a warmth brushed over my head, stunning me—his hand.

“Shh, shh, starlight,” Moon purred, voice box crackling softly with white noise. “It’s okay. I’m just warming you up.”

Ah, so it was a feature. I let myself relax and snuggled closer to the animatronic’s chest plate, which now radiated a gentle heat. Seeming satisfied with my satisfaction, the attendant started moving us elsewhere, continuing to caress my head.

“Letting the lights shut off outside of nap time…” Moon muttered, or at least the imitative equivalent of it—a low, bit-crushed fizzle of sorts. “Witless staff, they should’ve gotten this under control by now.”

My breaths still shook a little when I exhaled, but at least I wasn’t on the floor now. The robot had a point, why haven’t they turned the power back on? It couldn’t have been a total outage, could it? No, those things don’t just happen. Could they?

Eventually, Moon stopped walking and sat down, pulling me onto his lap. Large, folded hands laid across my back in a loose embrace, the broad, gentle weight almost insistent that I stayed put—not that I planned on parting ways with this oversized heat pack any time soon. I found myself bathed red under a steady, luminous gaze, the light so saturated that it would be almost laughable to wonder what the animatronic was staring at. It was strangely not as unnerving as I expected.

When I rose to meet his eyes, the attendant swiftly dimmed them, making it easier to make out the rest of his face. I was met with a familiar wicked grin, forever fixed onto his faceplate.

“You’re very nice,” I said aloud, reaching up to touch his cheek in curiosity. The material was smooth and felt neither cold nor warm, likely a durable plastic cover of some kind—easy to clean and without the strong odor of metal. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. His eyes pulsed.

“Ohhh?~ Is that so?~” he inquired, returning to his singsong-like cadence, sounding almost pleased. “Why thank you, little one~ You’re very kind, yourself.”

“…Where do you go when the lights come back on?” Moon seemed to pause at this, his natural, subtle idling coming to an immediate halt. “Sun seemed really upset when the lights suddenly went off. Maybe you’d know where he went.”

Silence. Moon adjusted me in his hold, coaxing my head back to his chest with a warm hand.

“…He is safe,” he answered curtly. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Without warning, several loud clunks resounded throughout the plaza—the sound of large ceiling lights turning back on. Moon’s arms tightened reflexively around me. A hiss of corrupted audio emitted from him as light suddenly filled the daycare, blinding us both.

Moon scoffed, his voice beginning to stutter and cut out randomly. “A-Al..waysszz the wo—orst ti, ti-timing…”

The attendant hastily took me off his lap and forced himself to stand up, hunching over as if in pain. Harsh pulses of static imitated labored breaths. He looked down at me, practically rattling as he resisted whatever was overtaking him. I could only stare back helplessly.

“IIII—It seems.. that s—sSSun… will be here soo—n, starlight,” Moon gritted. “Farewell…”

The attendant suddenly unfurled, back arching, hands clawing at his faceplate as he cried out in agony. The sounds of clicking and grinding of internal mechanisms filled the air. Moon’s nightcap inverted itself, flattening, as it got vacuumed back into a compartment inside his torso. The animatronic’s clothing rapidly shifted in color and pattern, like those heat-sensitive novelty pencils, dark blue with pale yellow stars melting into bright red and yellow stripes. All the while, his body shook in a seizure-like fashion—erratic tremors—as if his insides, themselves, were rearranging. The sight was equal parts disturbing and fascinating to witness.

Eventually, everything seemed to still. The attendant’s body moved as if heaving from nonexistent lungs, face still covered. The uncontrollable shaking stopped, but a faint whirring of motors had started. Familiar triangular flaps extended out from behind the robot’s faceplate, one after another until they circled his entire head. Each sun ray gently clicked itself into place before the motors went quiet. The attendant finally lowered his hands, revealing Sun.

I gaped, the realization already long soaked in. They lived in the same body.

Sun glanced over and noticed me still on the floor. “Y/N!” He cried, rushing to my side. Kneeling down, he quickly pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry! Are you alright?? I shouldn’t have left you like that alone in the dark, you must’ve been so scared! That was TERRIBLE of me, none of that should’ve happened—“

“I’m okay now, Sun, the power’s back on now,” I reassured him, returning the embrace. “I panicked a little at first, but Moon was there to help me.”

“Oh really? Well, that’s a relief!” Sun nuzzled the side of my head. “I was so scared that he would.. would…. would..”

… Would what?

“BUT I’m SUPER DUPER glad that DIDN’T happen!!!“ He quickly resumed, releasing me.

I chuckled nervously, mind still stuck on that incomplete thought. “Yeah, everything turned out fine!”

Just as I felt myself finally relaxing, I remembered what I was doing. “Oh shoot! I was on my way out!”

Sun gasped. “Oh!! Right right right! You gotta get going! Your parents must be worried sick!”

Oh yeah… My “parents”.

He ushered me back over to the large wood-façade doors and moved to push one open, which it thankfully did. I refused to look at him as I knew he was surveying for anyone who had arrived to come get me, only to find no one. Aside from the wandering S.T.A.F.F. bots, it was just as deserted as when I first got here.

“Where are your parents, friend?” I felt my face redden in shame. This was it…

“W-Well…” I started. “I actually have something to tell you, Sun.”

“Hm?” I stared down at my shoes.

“My parents weren’t actually going to come. I came here with friends. I’m not that old, but..” The next words stuck in my mouth. I gulped. “I… I’m still not legally a child.”

My eyes turned up to the attendant, his static smiling expression staring back at me. God, I must look pathetic. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

Sun’s rays fluttered. “Oh, I already knew, silly!” He warbled. “In the visitor database! Your Daycare pass logged you in as an adult!”

I blanched, the animatronic’s cheery reply somehow deepening my shame more. This was somehow so much worse. “Th-Then why did you—“

“You looked like you needed a friend! I couldn’t just kick you out after seeing you wandering around all alone like that!” He gleefully explained.

The robot felt bad for me. Oh my god, I got pitied by a robot.

“Besides! You played along anyway! Like a game of pretend!” He looked away for a moment. “And… you were actually a lot of fun.”

I didn’t have any words. What was I supposed to say? How I was supposed to come back from being told I was pity-friended by a fucking children’s entertainment robot?

“It’s not every day I—we get to just have a conversation, or just some company, outside of the kids,” Sun admitted, his tone uncharacteristically reserved. “Moon, especially.”

Realizing the mood seemed to have shifted, I blinked. “Huh?”

The attendant’s rays quivered nervously. He released the door, playing with his hands. “I—I mean, you were fun to have around! We didn’t mind t-taking care of someone older! I-It felt refreshing! Yeah! You took time with your words and you never made a mess and you were always super polite, you were as sweet as any other good child! N-NOT THAT YOU’RE A CHILD!!”

Large, panicky hands waved wildly in my face. I recoiled, which the robot seemed to notice, leaning away. His head hung low in his hands, defeated.

“Ahhh, I don’t know what I’m trying to say anymoore!!” He whined. Were I not still grappling with my own thoughts, I would’ve better acknowledged that I haven’t seen Sun get worked up in such a human way before. He seemed genuinely flustered. It was… rather cute.

So… The robot doesn’t think I’m a lonely loser? Because he’s kind of a lonely loser as well?

I placed a consoling hand on the animatronic’s waist, seeing as I couldn’t reach any higher without looking stupid. “No, no, I get it. I had fun too.”

Sun lowered his hands at my words. “Really? You did??”

I nodded with a smile, feeling myself redden again. “Yeah. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind visiting again… if I was actually allowed back in here—“ Large hands seized me by the shoulders as Sun’s face swallowed up my field of view.

“Nonono, you’re allowed!!” he insisted, rays spinning. “You can come back any time! Any time at all!! You’ll always, always, always be welcome! You could even help out with the kids, if you’d like! Do you mind kids? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it could be just the two of us again! I could let the staff know and—“

Listening to the attendant excitedly ramble away—so eager at the thought of spending more time with me—made something in my chest flutter. Feeling tickled, I let out a laugh, causing Sun to go quiet. He quickly straightened himself and went back to fidgeting with his hands, appearing somehow small despite towering over me.

“Is… Is that too silly of an idea?” He laughed back nervously.

“No, no, it’s not that,” I smiled, shaking my head. “I mean, it’d probably be a little weird for me to visit here so much…”

Sun visibly drooped.

“…but if there are any job openings, I have been looking for one! The plaza isn’t too far of a drive.” The speed at which Sun’s head snapped back up would’ve literally snapped any human neck under the same forces. I was torn between finding the reaction hilarious and a little worrying, had I been a few inches closer to his head.

“Y—You, you…” he stuttered, a faint buzzing noise coming from somewhere. “You mean…!!“

I could barely give him a nod before I was swept up in his arms, spinning around a few times. “YES YES YES, THIS IS THE BESTEST BEST DAY EVER!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU—“

I threw my head back in laughter, endlessly tickled by his overflowing enthusiasm. After a few more spins, Sun raised me higher and nuzzled into my torso. I gasped at the unexpected warmth of his face. It didn’t burn, but I never remembered him running this hot before. Sun seemed to have heard me as he immediately pulled away.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Did I hit something?” He did a quick—maybe literal— scan of my body.

“Nothing wrong, I was just surprised,” I told him, placing a hand on his cheek just to make sure I wasn’t just imagining things. I definitely wasn’t. “I know you’re the Sun and all, but… Were you always this warm?”

The heat under my hand almost seemed to intensify after I mentioned it.

“W-Warm, you say?” Sun repeated. As if on cue, the sound of vents seemed to whir louder somewhere within the animatronic’s body.

#dca fanfic #fnaf sun #dca sun #sun x y/n #sun x reader #daycare attendant x y/n #dca x y/n #sun x oc #daycare attendant sun #sun and moon fnaf #cw anxiety #idk what to tag here ive never posted fanfic before akdnsk #dca #text post

[crimsonbubble]

head full, all thots. bear with me for one of them 🙏🏻

t141 and you having to deal with a super pissy graves during a mission and them being grateful when it's over and they get to go to bed and finally have some peace. which they would've gotten if they didn't have to listen to him loudly getting his attitude adjusted by you. but hey! at least he's blissfully quiet the next day lol

NONNIE IM GONNA SMOOCH YOU SO HARD OMG YOU ARE FEEDING ME SO WELL 💍💍

cw. nsfw, gn!reader with a dick, sub!graves, brat!graves, brat tamer!reader, makeshift handcuffs with a belt, anal sex, fingering, overstimulation, implications of marking, voyeurism and humiliation of sorts, nipple play, handjob, creampies, hair pulling, dacryphilia, degradation *not proofread, just pure horny

MINORS DNI!!

graves was always annoying enough to work with, but with each snarky remark about anything and everything, everyone was at their limit. you could feel your eye twitch as graves poked and pinched at your cheeks. you clench your jaw and cross your arms over your chest to lessen the urge to pin him to the floor.

it was only when the others had retired to their rooms to escape the seemingly never-ending headache that graves caused, knowing full well you're gonna take care of it. price gave you a knowing look and a quick pat on the shoulder as he retreated down the hall into his room. graves' room was closer to the others, making it a perfect place to reel him back in.

you pushed yourself up, grabbing him by the back of the neck, and dragging him off to his room. he struggled and squirmed but when you pushed him against the wall and shoved a knee between his thighs, you knew exactly how he felt about this situation. "don't act like you didn't want this, you little whore." graves let out heavy breaths, letting you handle him as you pleased.

you all but throw him into his room, tugging at your belt. he's looking at you with pleading eyes, biting his lip as eyes the way your lithe fingers turn your belt into handcuffs. graves knows better than to question the look in your eyes, immediately turning around and holding his hands behind his back. "you're an attention whore, yknow that? always needing all eyes on you or you'll start crying like a bitch."

your hands make quick work of tugging his pants and boxers down, pressing a thumb into his leaky slit. you take your hand away as quickly as you put it on him. he doesn't get a chance to complain as you hardly tug him onto the bed. you search his bedside table, finding an unopened bottle of cherry-flavored lube. graves looks away from you, shoving his face into the bed and shifting on his knees. you huff softly, popping it open and pouring some into your hand.

you wrap a hand around his length, making him lurch. you sat back on your knees behind him, grabbing his throat and pulling him to press him back into you. you don't hesitate to start stroking him at a quick and steady pace. he immediately lets out lewd moans and cries, desperately trying to bite his lip to hide his noises. your free hand leaves his throat, trailing down to pinch and pull at his nipple.

the others can't help but listen in, their cocks straining against their underwear, throbbing with need. you know the others are probably touching themselves to this, listening to him whine and cry as he's stimulated past his first orgasm. your hand leaves his twitching cock, to press two fingers against his hole. you push him down, pressing against his spine to keep him arched. you circle his rim with wet fingers, immediately pushing two of them in. graves shakes as you scissor his hole open, his cock already half-hard again.

there's a mess of lube and cum between his thighs. you plunge your fingers as deep as you can, curling your fingers up to find a good spot. graves chokes on his moans as your fingers press incessantly into his prostate. your breathing is labored with each pornographic whine and cry that leaves his swollen lips, your pants becoming too tight around your dick. curses and mewls leave his lips as he pulses and clenches around your fingers, adding to the mess between his thighs.

"want me to stuff you full? yea? give the attention whore what he wants? a cock in his ass to keep him satisfied?" mumbles of nonsense leave his lips, drool spilling from his lips as you stroke your cock with a lubed hand. he widens his legs, holding his cheeks apart, his hole clenching in anticipation as you tap your tip against his hole. your dick is throbbing in your hand, strung too tightly to not use him how you wish. he's asking for it, is he not? holding himself open for you to fuck into, battering his insides and abusing his prostate.

your hold on his hips is bruising as you wrench him down your cock, watching with lidded eyes as his hole swallowed you to the base. he's trembling, hands balled into fists with each punishing thrust you delivered. muted groans leaving your lips as his walls clenched and throbbed around you. you lean over him, planting a hand beside his head while the other tangles in his hair. you tug his head back, refusing to let him hide his needy cries. tears are flowing down his cheeks as he pushes back against you.

"oh, so you're an attention whore and a crybaby too? how fun." his face is flushed as he chokes on his tears, the pleasure overwhelming as you punctuate your words with heavy thrusts. he tightens around you when you degrade him, his cock twitching with need. "c'mon then you slut, make a bigger mess for me."

his mind goes blank as he cums, body going taut against yours. his hole is pulsating around your dick as you chase your release. he's sobbing as your thrusts become sloppy and deep, thighs shaking as he takes you down to the base. with a few more sloppy thrusts, your body shivers. your hips are twitching as you give him all that you can. graves is in taters under you, body falling limp against the bed as you pull out of him. your cum leaks out of him, thick and warm. graves is on the verge of passing out right there, laying in his own mess.

---

the next morning, graves is quiet. no whining or complaining. but the harsh bites and bruises littering his skin plus the need to have a pillow under him let the others know your methods of handling work quite well.

"not so brave now are you, cowboy?"

#bubbly speaks <3 #ash answers #bubbly writes <3 #phillip graves x reader #philip graves x reader smut #philip graves x reader #philip graves #phillip graves #cod graves #cod mwii #cod x reader #cod mw22 #cod smut #cod x reader smut #graves cod

[unohanadaydreams]

Mars I will sell you my hypothetical firstborn child if you write something with Grimmjow + spanking please. 👀👀

Hand over the hypothetical firstborn at your convenience, anon.

Features: 18+, spanking, hair pulling, reader is deeply embarrassed by wanting said spanking, Grimmjow wants to eat through that shame like a juicy, juicy fruit.

GRIMMJOW + SPANKING

Stretched teeth, uncovered from root to crown, jab into the tensed skin above your shoulder blade. A fossil of his previous, unknowable self, the mask of smooth bone is wholly inhuman.

You stiffen further when he does it again. Inherit instinct enmeshing to your modern sense of shame and want. You try to curl away. The wiry length of his arms, his hands meeting at your stomach, keep you flat.

“You’re getting scared over nothing.”

The warm puffs of breath that had raised a trail of damp along your back were plenty to be embarrassed over. You shivered as the sloppy line of condensation cooled. The thrumming want in you unfurled, fronds of pleasure straightening to meet the heat Grimmjow generated.

Shifting you more squarely in his lap, fingers squirmed between your pressed thighs.

“Grimmjow,” you squeaked, then said, then whined.

Smiling, the human side of his face rubbed against your cheek and he mocked you. Called your name in three between puffs of humor.

You tugged at the ropey muscles of his forearms, scrambled at his elbows, and struggled to keep your thighs tight while your fingers slipped uselessly over his.

“What’s it about humans and wanting punished?”

Switching tactics, you reached back, tugging at Grimmjow’s hair.

“Please don’t say anymore,” you said, one of your hands holding onto the sharp, exaggerated cheekbone of his fragmented mask as the other gripped at the roots of any hair you could hold.

“Why? I liked it too. Everyone looks better roughed up,” Grimmjow said. His fingers forced between your thighs in earnest.

The moment you moved to stop him, you found yourself bouncing on the mattress you’d gotten cheap, third-hand, and feeling like springboard. If Grimmjow hadn’t grabbed you, you would’ve rolled to the floor.

As he lay on his lap, your ass comfortably in range of his prominent hand, you wish you’d rolled to the floor.

At least your face was pressed into the sheets and he wasn’t forcing you to look him in the eyes. At least he was tugging your underwear down your thighs instead of ripping through them. At least he was doing exactly what you wanted while being blessedly sile—

“I don’t get why you watch videos of it, but don’t say you want it,” he said, ruining your list of things to be grateful for. “You humans….so scared to say you like this stuff when that’s half of what the video box plays. That’s what I’m punishing you for. Not gonna stop till you tell me what you want.”

Grimmjow talks about it so casually that you’re blindsided by the first hit and you cough on inhaled spit.

He squeezes one cheek, toying with it until you calm.

Then smacks you again.

Your legs tremble and hips circle by the third hit.

“Us hollows have hard skin,” he grunts as he smacks you again. “Im barely hitting, y’know. You’re just sensitive.”

Grimmjow makes every spank unpredictable. Some coming right after another while others strike after he’s massaged the blanket of stinging needles from your ass cheeks.

The only sound you can bear to emit are cries from being smacked and moans as he works you up between them.

Admitting you like all the things in the porn he caught you watching seems impossible. Saying you want him to hit harder and more and do it all while he’s inside you is an insurmountable task.

“Say something and I’ll pull your hair,” Grimmjow purrs.

Your face is hot and sticky from breathing into the sheets as you turn so your cheek is rubbing against the lowest thread count known to home goods.

He spanks you several times before you can from words beyond ‘uh’ or ‘it uh’.

“It feels good.”

“You like it a lot?”

Grimmjow’s fingers, the curve of his nails less wicked than he likes them to be, but rounded so he can touch you, unfettered, move to where your hair has been gathered into a thick scrunchie.

“Yes,” you agree as he spanks you and pulls your hair and grows harder underneath you.

You’re mutually stubborn, but Grimmjow is sure to hear the words he wants by the end of the night. He’s relentless. He can claw anything from anyone.

All you have to cling to is a crust of human shame thinly withholding your desires. Still, you twist sheets into your fists as he lifts your head and spanks you again.

You cling.

#reader: I’ll NEVER be honest about my desires!!!!! #Grimmjow: damn ma you live like this #Grimmjow x reader #grimmjow jaegerjaquez x reader #bleach imagines #Grimmjow x you #okay I’m finally posting kink asks pls hold your applause at my below bare minimum ❤️

[risnabeaute]

🫧💗✨ Self- Love Needed! 🫧💗✨

hi beautes! 👋🏻♡ ̆̈ I want to share my opinion about self love this time, because yesterday I was feel lost and confused about myself. Having a great concern for your own happiness and well-being is a sign of self-love. Taking care of your needs and not compromising your wellbeing in order to appease others are key components of self-love. Not settling for less than what you deserve is a sign of self-love. Since we all have different ways of taking care of ourselves, self-love can mean different things to different people. Determining what self-love means to you personally is crucial to your mental well-being.

For the enchantment of self-love is something you make for yourself, not something that is thrust upon you, let me ask you to do this. Settle into a calm and serene area, prepare a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, and disconnect from all potential sources of distraction. This will assist you in taking the time and care that you need for yourself. You've already taken a step toward self-love by grounding yourself in this way and giving your all to whatever comes next.

I was really sad yesterday because I feel im not loved, im not worthy of anything and everything getting worst. But I relized I have to manage and controlling myself before myself controlling me, yes that sounds so pity to me but its real. To begin with its not necessary for pursuing radical individualism in order to love myself. It also means letting people love us even when we don't feel worthy of love. Because we tend to punish ourselves severely for not being perfect at loving ourselves, handling our emotions, understanding ourselves, praising ourselves, and feeling confident about ourselves, even when we do our best to do so. We will come to understand that we are never fighting this struggle alone if we allow people in. Then I Ask for assistance what I feel.

Yes, it might be challenging to love who you are. It takes severe consideration and focused action, especially because it's quite simple to give back into feelings of self-love that are accompanied by anxiety, bitterness and and even hatred. In light of this, loving yourself calls for a great deal of courage and strength because it necessitates being honest with oneself and taking a close look at your identity and values. Accepting your flaws, errors, and all of your incorrect turns and poor judgments requires you to embrace everything about you, without exception. This is what it means to love yourself.

You have a generally favorable self-perception when you love who you are. This does not imply that you always have a favorable self-image. That's not easy at all! Accepting yourself for who you are right now, flaws and all, is the definition of self-love. It entails prioritizing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being and accepting your feelings for who you are. And then I slowly love my self, and this 3 ways what I do when I feel unloved:

1. DO NOT LOCKED YOURSELF!!

"My advice to you is please don't ever sit in your room and lock yourself away because you don't think you're good enough" -Catherine Tate

When I was upset at teenage I always locked myself in my bedroom then I cried loud, I felt empty, unloved, angry and unworthy at all. And it really sucks, Please, go outside and see beautifull world! There is one thousand reason to smile, to be grateful for what you have, it is not by compring yourself to others but believed that everyone is so beautifull, learn how to love, look for what makes you happy. Go to coffeshop and read book it really make myself better and You so.

2. Belive in Yourself!

Darling, You glow differently, trust me. The key that opens the ignition and starts the car is similar to the belief we have in ourselves. Honestly, without it, we can't get very far. Thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors that aren't in line with our objectives prevent us from moving forward, no matter how hard we try. Consequently, we either fail to accomplish our goals or we intentionally harm ourselves along the way, sometimes in ways that are evident to us and sometimes completely hidden from us. When I belived myself I feel lived, I feel everything happens for reason and I have a purpose to do. So do you are love.

3. Celebrate Yourself!

The act of appreciating who you are right now—rather than who you hope to become or who you view yourself as—is known as self-celebration. It's about standing in your own strength right now, supporting and believing in yourself. And for any cause, at any time, wherever, you can celebrate who you are. This isn't egoistic.

You know what, I used to think that Im not worth it all to celebrate every accomplishment in my life, I think others have more bigger than mine. I relise its all wrong. I have to celebrate mine too.

For example, my birthday was last month, and many people think it's ridiculous that I still celebrate in my life. Do you truly mean it when you say "it's just another day" or "presents aren't important" or "I'd rather forget it's my birthday"? No matter how strongly you believe their truth, it's your birthday, and let's be honest, everyone wants to feel recognized, even if only in modest ways. My birthday has always been a major deal for me, since I can remember, and I look for every reason to celebrate it during the entire month, as well as inviting my beloved best buddies. So there is a picture of mine when I celebrate myself. Lets celebrate ourself!!!!, xo -Risnabeautes

happiest girls are the prettiest

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ🎀⸝⸝🍓✩‧₊˚˃̵ᴗ˂̵𓍢ִ໋🌷֒✧ ༘ ⋆｡♡✧˚ ʚɞ˚ ༘✿ ♡ ⋆｡

#inspiration #self love #self care #self improvement #life qoute #be yourself #do your best #self ship #love quotes #friendship #be happy #love yourself #mental health #woman

[smallestapplin]

Hi Im the anon who asked for the adaman and irida comforting banished reader

Can I request the wardens and noble pokemon from both the diamond and pearl clan comforting banished reader and vow to make Kamado pay for what he did thanks

I love both clans 💗💗💗

I’ve been driving myself insane trying to find my previous ones like this but I for the life of me can’t, but yeah I got ya!

-

-

Word got around fast about your banishment.

You realized that as Lian held onto you, sobbing into your tunic. You had only asked for if he knew where Irida would be as you couldn’t go back to look in the village.

So now here you stand trying to comfort the young boy.

He wouldn’t let go until Mai came around with Adaman and Irida.

“Glad we found you before something happened!” The pearl clan leader sighs in relief.

Adaman crosses his arms “we all have made a deal, with Kamado’s orders we can’t help you, publicly at least.”

Irida smiles “buuuut who’s going to tell? The two clans willing to help you? I don’t think so.”

“Wait really?” Your tears that had been welling up from Lian’s crying finally fall.

“The only people we have to look out for are the villagers in Jubilife.” Mai chimes in. “For now though please do not hesitate to ask any of us for help.”

Lian finally pulls away from you, wiping his tears away.

“Good! The old man ain’t gonna know what hit him!” His brown eyes held a fire that promised to make Kamado pay.

“For now though Warden Ingo, Warden Gaeric, Warden Palina, and Warden Iscan have offered to house you for the time being.”

You look at Adaman and let his words sink in, you try to keep calm and take deep breathes but Lian and Irida hug you, which finally makes you sob.

“Thank you, thank you all so much, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, we know you aren’t at fault for any of this.” Adaman pats your shoulder.

“I’ll repay you all back I swear it.”

Irida shakes her head “it’s not needed, we just want to make sure you’re safe.”

You are grateful and you express to them you are forever in their debt but they pay you no mine.

Lord Kleavor even nuzzles against you to try cheer you up.

You bounced around from warden’s home to warden’s home, not wanting to be found out but anyone from the village, the best places to be were Ingo’s cabin and Gaeric’s.

Though the blue haired man saw this as a perfect chance to get you to train with him.

Ingo was just happy to have company other than Sneasler, who was just as happy to cuddle you.

Their hidden homes and harsh environments kept anyone from finding you.

They were all with you every step of the way, both clans came together and stood behind you, nobody in Jubilife even knew where you were.

Both clans kept up their lies to the village until you finally got the red chain, and stood at the temple fighting the almighty Sinnoh’s with everything you had.

But to the clans it wasn’t enough.

Kamado apologized yes, but it held no ground, his actions had harmed you and placed not only you, but everyone in the region in great danger.

Irida stood by your side with Palina patched up your wounds and Calaba making something to ease your poisoned body.

The leaders and wardens feared you dying after you were hit by that alpha Overqwil.

So no, Kamado won’t be forgiven.

Ingo and Mai had to hold Lian and Sabi back from your bedside, you were too pained to have them close and crying to you.

Those four held a grudge that their nobles felt.

In fact every noble felt the pain and anger their warden’s felt and it showed.

They watched you and helped you through your journey. Most had laid in the same room as you, talking about whatever you two could, laughing and thinking of the most random fact you could just to get their reaction.

Some of them held your sobbing form as you laid awake at night, crying about the village essentially abandoning you and disowning you.

You cries about how you thought of them as family, as your new home.

It broke the older warden’s heart’s to have to hear your gut wrenching sobs and broken words.

How you apologized for crying to them.

Ingo always held you, gently shushing you, and letting you cry it all out. Sneasler would always barge into his cabin to comfort you as well, purring and nuzzling against you.

Gaeric honestly didn’t know what to do when you did cry. He’d pull you against his side, his arm around you and rubbing your arm. It spooked both of you when Avalugg awoke, the massive glacier Pokémon lowered its large face in front of you both and made a low sound.

It was obvious the noble wanted to comfort you without harming you.

Palina and Iscan are the best for comforting you.

Iscan panics the first time you did. You didn’t mean to start crying but you ended up thinking about it too much. Palina was quick to sit next to you, arm around you.

“It was in no way your fault! Kamado just has a few screws loose, you had people backing you up and you still do. He shouldn’t have banished you at all!”

Iscan was grabbing things to try and make you feel better, you and Palina ended up wrapped up in every blanket he could find and surrounded by every pillow the two had.

It didn’t help Arcanine rested behind you, letting you use him like a pillow and constantly trying to lick your face.

They couldn’t just let this go! After all that, they couldn’t.

They watched the hero break from all the pressure placed on them for so long, and the heart break of being blamed for something you had no control over!

It seems their nobles felt the same.

They all agreed seeing you like that was something they never wanted to see again.

Irida and Adaman quickly offered you homes in their settlements.

“I can have one set up for you, you could go back and forth if you want to!”

You’ve never seen these two agree on anything, it was only during and after your banishment did they agree on one thing.

You.

No matter which settlement you went to, you were greeted like an old friend, and welcomed with open arms.

You are never treated like an outsider, never treated like you’re one mistake away.

They are your new homes.

#long post #pokemon #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #pokémon #pokemon fluff #pokemon fanfic #pokémon legends of arceus #pokémon legends arceus #pokemon legends arceus #legends arceus

[lvxybby]

Our Messiah, Kai anderson x reader

3RD POV: you had recently given birth to your 2 week old baby girl, Jade. you were resting your eyes as your sleeping daughter was held in your arms. you tried so hard to sleep but it was either jade crying or paranoia keeping you awake. you heard the door open and voices fill the room before a loud shush quieted them. kai and everyone else stood before you, watching you hold your daughter. "you're dismissed" kai spoke in his regular plain voice. everyone exited the room except him. "hey" kai whispered as he approached the couch. you hummed as you held jade closer to your body. he knelt down and pet your head. he knows your completely drained from your mother duties. he honestly felt a bit of sorrow for you since you weren't sleeping at all anymore. it was really concerning to him. you and his daughter were his pride and joy. he would do anything to ensure your safety. "hey sweetheart" kai said focusing his attention to his sleeping daughter. he placed a small kiss on her forehead. "kai...?" you asked peeking open your eyes. "yeah?" he responded "is jade ok? is she still asleep?" you said with your eyes closed. "yeah...dont worry about her..." kai said with a smile. "how long are you going to keep doing this..." you said cuddling jade closer to you "what? keep doing what" kai asked. "y'know...the cult shit...im tired of constantly being put in danger" you said peeking open your eyes. "im doing this to keep you safe...to help us...are you not grateful for the work im putting in for you? the work im putting in to keep my family safe? the SHIT i do to make you happy!? HUH" he shouted. "kai please dont yell" you said waking up fully. "i never said that...its just im really scared cause...im worried about you too...i dont want you to get hurt or die doing some crazy shit! night of 100 tates? seriously kai! when you did that i was scared for my life too! i was scared you were going to kill me cause i was pregnant! i was scared you would get caught and go to prison! and im scared about the fact you talk to yourself! you scare me!" you cried out. your daughter woke up and began to look around. "oh really!? really?! i am perfectly fine! you are fine! i do this for you! for my daughter! for my job!" kai shouted. "KILLING PEOPLE ISNT A JOB KAI ANDERSON" you shouted. you stood up with jade and left the room. she was quietly crying now. you went upstairs to your shared room and grabbed the knife from under your mattress. kai kept it there for safety. you ran into the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it. you pressed your feet against the door as hard as you could. you heard kai chase you up the stairs and into the room. "open this door right fucking now" he said pulling on the door handle. you were scared. you cried with your daughter as you embraced her. you wrapped around her and sobbed. you were scared of your own husband. the man you trusted with every cell in your body to take care of your daughter and you, is banging on the door telling you to open it or he'll hurt you. "Y/N i'll bust this door down and fucking beat you! open it right now" he ordered. you pressed with your feet harder. you were shaking. you worried for you and your daughters lives at that point since kai was on the verge of insanity. you and jade were basically the only thing keeping him from going mad. you and jade were that tiny piece. next thing you know the door flew open and kai stood there. he was pissed off. but his expression changed when he saw you and your daughter sobbing. you were shaking like crazy and you had your daughter wrapped around you tighter than ever. you were hyperventilating like hell. you weren't able to breathe at all. you held the knife in your hands with a tight grip. "Y/N...oh..oh...god...i-" tears began to form in his eyes. his voice shook. "im so sorry..." he said. he reached out for you but you backed away. tears streamed down his face. "Y/N please im sorry" he cried. you gripped the knife tighter. you weren't going to risk your child getting hurt. kai sat on the floor across from you.

#kai anderson x reader #american horror story #part 2 soon

[pekodayz]

uhhh............. ososan oc infodump but i laser u after u finish reading bc i am... out my comfort zone. vulnerable to everything (cries) I HATE BEING SELF CONSCIOUS . plz... read under the cut.. haha.

So I made three in one go, bc I wanted to have a trio...badly. They were initially just my basic ocs, but I realized it would be funny to change them and put them in hell. (stripped of their powers and forced to be human ??!!) Their og clothes were good (they're cute ashell but I NEEDED them to be in casual clothing). So I was thinking about ososan, then my brain clicked. After like 3 weeks of me losing files, getting petrified. drawing something else to cope, and staring at other ppls stuff... I came up with those designs. I AM SHY PLEASE FORGIVE ME and the grammar idk it's 3am...and im a bit nervous

So there's Aini (she/her..5'2) . "what the hell is that "fufufu~" for??" "..I-It's my signature laugh..shut up..". She has a complex where she thinks she's better than everyone else. Cocky. She's a (squints) a chunibyo...and a tsun___.She finds this world boring and a waste of time. She believes that she is a demon, and that she is surrounded by petty humans. Don't mind her, she's harmless. Unless she gets like flustered, then she pulls out a gun and gets trigger happy. (misses every time). She does know deep down, that she's playing a delusion...but she immediately removes that thought once she spots an unsuspecting victim. I think she just likes making rivals. She does get emotional and will break her act when she is at her most vulnerable state. It's rare, but it happens. She is a walking anime stereotype.

Then there's Molly (she/they..5'7). They are a sweetheart...most of the time. She's a bit of a pushover at times, but she does have another side. They care for their friends very, very much. She's the tallest of the three. Why does she always look afraid? Like they just saw a ghost...what...? Nothing is there, everything is a-okay. She lovesssss anything sweet. They get fraps...every, single, day. They can't help but drop an unusual amount of money on a sweet treat. She shares with Aini and Usiuii, they both r foreva grateful for her kindness.

Usiuii. (she/her..5'3). Stoic. Stop staring at me...why is she getting closer?? I don't know what's going on in her head, but she has some sinister vibe that travels with her every step. (jk she just wants to say hi :3!!!!) ...okay she does have some slightly evil tendencies. Keeps Aini in check by slamming her in the head with her bass. (just imagine Usiuii holding it like a bat and aiming for Aini's legs) She has a shark-toothed smiley face, wishes she can eat gum properly. High pain tolerance. She has a side gig. It's suspicious. If you do find her at that gig, do not approach her. She will spiral if she sees anyone she knows at this place, and will chase you down.

They all love pachinko. Molly thinks it's like Vegas, so she drags Aini and Usiuii with them. Aini loses the most, Usiuii is in the middle, Molly wins the most. Aini goes into a frenzy and starts to violently shake the machine, trying to force those damn silver balls to start pouring out. In the midst of her frenzy, Aini accidentally smacks Usiuii in the face. They both start fighting, looking like idiots. Molly gets her cash and pulls both of them by the collars with a disturbing look. They leave. Aini is quietly sobbing. Usiuii is counting Molly's winnings. Molly is staring at the sunset while pulling the two. (fucking idiots: she thinks while giving them a warm smile)

As for jobs: Molly works in the corporate world. She hates it...but alas, it pays well; they're just gonna have to force a smile and keep going. Every waking moment, her boss keeps giving them more work to do. Pushing her around...Molly silently gets angrier by the day. They are testing me, she smiles through the pain.

Usiuii and Aini work in a convenience store. They both love it, they can be as stupid as they want to be. Huhuhu!~ Pathetic humans in need of MY service?? Hmph. I SUPPOSE I can help you. "....isn't that your job." ".....uh....y-yeah....." (i guess u can imagine Aini leaning over the counter when a customer is about to pay...saying that...plz stop aini, you're being bizarre.) Usiuii gets realllyyyy close and welcomes anyone who comes in, she finds their reactions funny. Takes 15 steps to you: WELCOME...!~ (she gives them a wide smile, then she bursts into laughter)

The three of them would befriend Chibita. ummm bc they pay their tab as soon as they finish. And they love. love eating his oden. like it was a gift sent from the heavens. I guess they would also rant to him about their lives.

Aini thinks the matsus are figments, like how are there that many copies of one person...just there? (this is just her trying to make life a bit more interesting..don't try and school her on sextuplets, she will tune you out. ("I AM NOT A FOOL! I KNOW THEY'RE REAL, IDIOT. DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME..." teary-eyed) Molly tries to believe they r all good citizens, blah blah blah... sees them in action. ....immediate mood change.

I think the 3 would befriend totty first....bc uh...let's just assume he still works at the cafe, okay? since molly is always getting frappes and stuff. She eventually makes small talk with totty, and yknow yay a friend!11!! They rant to him a lot, considers him a dear friend.

Ummm maybe aini would "befriend" oso at some point but like its a rivalry thing idk. it's funny. to me.. It would prob be over pachinko, aini won for the first time and she rubs it in his face. he wins, he rubs it in her face hahaha (stares at wall) .they find each other slightly annoying, but good company. i think aini would be playing one day, and stumble upon him being there..then stuff insues, omg yay friend. they both knock each other out. idk they prob get drunk one night and kiss but its like ewww cooties!!11!1 then they stare at each other. silence. "....that was gay." "....pardon?" (slams head on counter)

Usiuii hmm would be fwiends with choro bc she finds him funny .,,,looking. got em yeah. okay..fine jk they both love idols. but Usiuii does NOT want anyone to know. she begs choro not to tell a soul, threatening to take his if he dares. usiuii...what. she's supposed to be the cool one, not the one who goes bonkers over idols. but..yknow. they both fangirl over stuffz yeah...

WHAT IS ROMANCE. I DONT KNOW. (I fold on real-time romance…expect goofy shit instead. like in the anime’s!!!1!!)

umm yyahhh im exhausted. thank you for reading. i will work on their ref sheets very soon!!!!`` lhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oc brainrot starts......when i wake up in the morning . line up -> infodump -> ref

EDIT: i add stuff as i lay here in bed (steam comes out of head)

They all drink. but in moderation…maybe. then they beat the shit out of _____________ ____________ group attack i think. gag. haha (puts finger down)

who would get drunk (first to last): aini usiuii molly

Molly has warm hands, but when she gets nervous, they have the tendency to fidget them together a bit. Then they catch fire. oh no…..

Usiuii keeps putting her hand in the oden, to take a bite she gets yelled at every time. She says she feels no pain, therefore it’s gonna be okay guys. (she smirks, chibita chucks a hot piece at her)

Aini sometimes wears those anime head wing thingys for fun. but uhhh she plays the role. they’re not real, stop wearing them on the job. (Someone just roleplay with her for a few minutes. Then she won’t have to be so cruel with her words)

I think molly is like retsuko (yknow from aggretsuko) since their job pisses them off. she breaks, and goes on a long winded rant, full of evil. Then it wears off, and she’s all like “oh my god??!! im sososoosossoos sorry..!” then they look like they killed someone. plz forgive her.

okay they love u very much, but they might kill u in a triple attack (hearto)

#AUGHHHHH #(dies) #this was my top 3 longest rambles #i need a shirley temple #thank u for reading. #MY GRAMMAR GETS BAD TOWARDS THE END #ososan oc #ppp

[kaycode1999]

Kyojuro Rengoku x reader pt. 3

The next morning Y/N decides to go check on the boys on the infirmary. With a soft knock on the open door the three teens turned to see Y/N standing in the doorway (through some stroke of luck there didn't happen to be any other injured swordsman at the moment). " Ms/Mr/ Mx Y/N?" Zenitsu says in surprise, " Hey boys." Y/N says walking in and taking a seat at the end of Tanjiro's bed since he's in the middle of Zenitsu and Inosuke " how are you doing?" Taniiro just looks at Y/N with a mixture of heartbreak and pity as his eyes glisten filling with tears. " Better.... But shouldn't we be asking you that?" Zenitsu asks with a concerned look, just as Y/N is about to answer Tanjiro speaks up. " Im so sorry." he says " Its my fault Rengoku is gone. He died because he was protecting me, and I was too injured and weak to help him.", his head slumps slightly in shame. " Please forgive me." he chokes out, Y/N looks at him in surprise before her/his/their gaze softens.

“ Tanjiro.” Y/N says gently before placing her/his/their hand over his “ Sweetheart, none of that was your fault.”, “ We’ve been telling him that for days but he wouldn't listen! Damn fool” Inosuke says loudly. Y/N shoots him a warning glance before Tanjiro speaks up again, “ No. It WAS my fault. If I had been stronger I could have helped him fight Akaza. I SHOULD have helped him. I just sat there and watched while that demon punched his arm through him” he says shakily as a few tears fall down his cheeks. Y/N’s heart breaks hearing this and her/his/their eyes start to get teary, “ Tanjiro, look at me.” she/he/they say reaching over gently pushing his head up to meet her/his/their gaze before wiping the tears away. “ If you would have tried to help him you very likely would have died too. He chose to protect you and everyone else on the train because he wanted to, and because it was his duty. He would never want you to blame yourself for that, and neither do I.” she/he/they say(s), Tanjiro smiles thankfully as a few more tears fall. Y/N gently pulls him into a tight hug rubbing his back as he cries, “ I know it's hard, trust me. But I'm so grateful you seem to have become so attached to him in the short amount of time you had. All of you. And I know he cared just as much about you three as you did for him.” She/he/they say(s) “ Its not just anyone who could convince him to let them be his Tsuguko.”. Y/N looks over and notices Inosuke and Zenitsu are both looking at them with tears in their eyes and the most awestruck and touched expression. “ Ok, get over here you two.” Y/N says, the two boys cheer happily before jumping into the hug.

The group hug lasts for several moments before Y/N pulls away smiling as tears fall down her/his/their face. She/he/they wipe away the tears, “ Lets get you three some food and that healing medicine, huh?” Y/N offers. All three boys happily agree and the four head to the cafeteria eating some delicious food and sitting there talking for a while. After making sure the boys are taken care of and take their medicine Y/N leaves them promising to come back and check on them before she/he/they have to leave for the funeral. As soon as she/he/they leave the boys back in the infirmary to rest she/he/they take off to the courtyard doing rigorous training for several hours. “ You’re pushing yourself awfully hard aren’t you?” Giyu’s voice comes from behind her/him/them causing her/him/them to stop and turn around to face him, “ I know the name of the demon now.” She/he/they explain “ I’m going to find him, and I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill Akaza. So I have to be ready to fight him”. Giyu’s eyes widen somewhat in surprise at the venom laced in Y/N’s words.

“ Y/N…” Giyu says hesitantly as he looks at her/him/them in concern “ It’s one thing to take on a 12 kizuki when there is no other option, it’s another to intentionally seek one out. Especially an upper rank.”, Y/N glares at him in anger. “ Tomioka… He took Rengoku from me. From all of us. I understand it’s dangerous but I will end him.” Y/N asserts, “ It isn’t just dangerous.” Giyu points out “ it’s reckless and careless.”. “ You didn’t have to watch him bleed out and die!” Y/N snaps with tears in her/his/their eyes “ So don’t talk to me about being reckless and careless.”, Giyu gives her/him/them the same pitying look that everyone has been giving her/him/them since the news went around. “ I know.” He says sadly, “ Giyu. I can’t let him continue to live after what he did. I have to kill him.” Y/N says.

#kyojuro rengoku x reader #demon slayer kyojuro #kimetsu no yaiba rengoku #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer rengoku #demon slayer #kny kyojuro #kny rengoku #kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyōjurō #rengoku x reader #flame hashira

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS FINALE!

Me and 10 cuties who have been keeping up with my crazy TGCF journey after i finally finished it 2 years later lmaoo

*Note that clown in the center is me and everyone knows why after seeing my wonderful, beautiful, RIDICULOUS AND OUTLANDISH theories throughout the read lmaoo

Without further ado...the finale!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Goushi really swooped in during the LAST TWO SECONDS of this huge novel and really just stole everyone's heart, huh? I love this dude

In the last second, a hand caught Feng Xin’s boot, and Feng Xin caught Mu Qing’s boot. When he looked up, he cried, “WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! GUOSHI OLD SIR, PLEASE DON’T EVER LET GO, ALRIGHT!!!”

YOOO FENG XIN ACCEPTED HIS CHILD OH MY GODDD DJJDJDJDJF T-T THE CHARACTER GROWTH

THE WAY THE TABLES HAVE TURNED AHHHHH its now Xie Lian who has Jun Wu pinned and nailed down to the ground with a sword djdjdjjdjjd low key, Xie Lian really needed to do that....yknow....therapeutically lol

I love this so much cuz ya, at the end of the day, it's tiring, it's exhausting keeping up a facade and forcing yourself to be someone who u know really isn't you and I feel Jun Wu despite all he's done was very heavily a product of his situation.

“I just genuinely really miss Your Highness,” Guoshi said. “I miss the once-Kingdom of Wuyong,

I miss our people, and I miss the days before we ascended. That’s all.”

“…”

Guoshi then added, “It’s been so many years, Your Highness. Just watching you makes me tired. Very tired. How about you? Are you not exhausted?”

And yes, I get that there was still a bit of inherit evil within him which got amplified thanks to the wuyong problems but like at the end of the day, he's just a sad little meow meow

AND THEN

AND THEN

“…Have I been defeated?” Jun Wu sounded a little lost.

After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.

DJDIFNIFJFJFJFJ DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN??? HJDHDHFHFHF U KNOW WHAT IM GONNA SAY AND UGH ITS ALWAYS BACK TO THE ✨️THEMES OF KINDNESS AND LOVE✨️ BRB gonna cry some more AGAIN

Ahh I remember pointing this out a while back but Hua Cheng was always the ONLY one who really helped ground Xie Lian when he was lost and confused. Like the split emotions he kept feeling of not knowing whether to laugh or cry, all gone even when he's told the craziest news yet, aka Wu Ming identity

All of a sudden, thousands of emotions, millions of words swarmed into his head. There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.

Lol u guys don't even get it, there were so many parts that were my fave here and I was trying my best to not post the whole chapter here cuz i loved EVERY part, the way Xie Lian leaped into Hua Chengs arm at the end, the cute Xianle trio bickering, just everything T-T

WTF U MEAN LIL BREAK I DO NOT NEED THIS RN PLZ DONT OH MY GODOHMYGODOHMYGOS HUA CHENG DONT U DARE DIE OH MYGOD

All of this:

Hua Cheng’s long and slender fingers gently combed through Xie Lian’s mussed hair. “Then, Your Highness, do you know why I refuse to leave this world?”

Xie Lian couldn’t understand why Hua Cheng could still be so calm at a time like this, as he was panicking so hard he was trembling. But, while feeling lost, he still simple-mindedly asked,

“Why?”

Hua Cheng replied quietly, “Because I have a beloved who is still in this world.”

Hua Cheng said quietly, “Your Highness, I understand your everything.

“Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness.

“If I could, I would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the corpse bones you need to trample to climb up, the sinner who deserved the butchering of a million knives. But, I know you wouldn’t allow it.”

They really did invent love, I can't think of anything else to say to this 😭

HIS EXPRESSION MY HEART CRACKED INTO A MILLION PIECES AT THIS WHOLE SCENE BUT ESPECIALLY AT THIS LINE

Hua Cheng’s gaze was gentle and blazing, that remaining eye filled with love, and it gazed at him silently.

He's gonna be back for sure. The red string and the ashes are still there....but it's still soooo saaad

LMAOOO the heavenly officials became homeless fr I'm dying lmaoooo

ROUYE IS BACK YESSSS!!! AND UGHH XIANLE TRIO!! IM SO HAPPY THEY R TOGETHER AGAIN!! I MISSED THIER SHENANIGENS SO MUCH

Xie Lian rummaged around his sleeve and fumbled out a white silk band that was torn in half, and said joyously, “Yeah, finally, the material to fix Ruoye is found! I’ll go patch it up right now!”

However, Feng Xin stopped him. “Patch it up? You?! Forget it, what can you patch? Ask someone else to help you.” Then he turned his head and shouted, “MU QING! COME GET TO WORK!”

Pei Su and Banyue were really an underrated duo this whole book, especially with the way they guarded Ke Mo and the other ghosts lol

Pei Su and Banyue were sitting at the entrance, both of their expressions blank.

Feng Xin divorce arc lmaooo Finally it came to an end...and in a really nice and mature way. I really appreciated the way MXTX wrote Jian Lan's whole character, like she also grew as a person and is def underappreciated

However, Jian Lan withdrew her smile. “What you’ve said are all things of the past. What was love once doesn’t mean it’ll last. I’m not interested in being a charity case and a nuisance.”

And Xuan Ji! Everyone really grew up huh? (*sobbing incontrollably*)

Still don't like Pei Ming smh overgrown man child fr U go Yushi Huang for showing him whose boss!!

GUZIIII MY HEART NOOOOO I really respect LQQ for doing this

so I could only…gather a bit of the soul particles of the Green Ghost and keep them in a lamp. Now he shows up in front of me every day hugging that lamp, asking when the soul within the lamp will grow bigger! I really…”

And Guzi! Fret not! Qi Rong will be back cuz his ashes aren't destroyed!!

THE PEARLS ARE BASICALLY A GIFT FROM THE INLAWS THAT HUA CHENG HAS NOW DJJDJDJDJDJDJFJDJD

A moment later, Xie Lian nodded slowly. “It’s mine. It’s a pair of pearls my father and mother gave me when I was young.”

Lol Ling Wen's punishment thooo and the subtle hint that Ling Wen may have acc cared for the dude despite everything kinda warms my heart

Ling Wen gave a small laugh. “Your Highness, don’t say it like I would do anything for him. After all, I’m cold-blooded and recognize no loved ones, so why would I do anything like that?”

“Is that right?”

“Let it be.

I love love love the way the passage of time was described here God I don't know how to explain it but I love it

People came like the tide, then left like the tide. Mount Taicang regained its deserted lonesomeness.

Atop Mount Taicang, there used to be an enormous field of maple trees. They were all burnt down by that massive fire, but reborn after a thousand years. They were no longer the same ones Xie Lian leapt through to train once upon a time, but the landscape was the same.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASAASASSMXKXKXJXNCJXNX AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

With three thousand Blessings Lanterns rising along with the night behind him, that man turned back and gazed at him. Robes redder than maple, skin as white as snow; between the brows of a face so handsome it couldn’t be stared at, there was still that wildness and a feral aura, a proudness that couldn’t be cut down.

There were no words. Both started walking towards the other.

A step, another step, each step faster than the next, then finally, they started running.

He ran forward whilst tears fell and stayed behind him. Xie Lian voiced this in his heart: he believed.

He believed that this man would die for him again and again, and would be reborn for him over and over. Even if he fell into the depths of hell, he would break through the abyss for his “belief”.

Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other.

This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.

DID I CRY HERE? U BET YOUR FUNKY LIL BEAN I DID And u don't get get AGUHH it took 1000 pages for them to get to where they were AND ONLY ONE PAGE TO MEET AGAIN THE ABSOLUTE POETIC METAPHOR HAS ME LOSING MY MIND u have to read through 244 chaps to see them trying to get to each other and when they finally do..it takes less than a page for them to reunite again I AM CRYING RN

The grand final banquet in Puqi shrine, with windmaster and the fellow beggars, he xuan secretly eating with them, fengqing arguing and bantering (flirting basically -_-), heaven's eye, hualian, the heavenly officials dropping by, just everyone finally living a happy life

What a story! Like what a story! Unbelievable!

This is how it started and this is how it ended

However, if people worship the divine statues of this one god and one ghost together, then there will be a miracle

Cuz their whole story is a miracle but that's the point! U can't give up! Xie Lian's story IS inspirational despite being fictional! Believing in your principles and doing the right thing, showing kindness no matter the circumstance, and growing from adversities, honestly I had so much to say but I read the post script and lmao MXTX said EVERYTHING I wanted to say!

-------------------

I'm always the kind to finish books within a day or two but I really didn't want this one to end (hence two years to read it) but God the whole experience was so incredible and tbh, I started documenting my thoughts for myself just so I can reread them later and laugh lmao but then a bunch of you guys kept up with it and it genuinely became such an exciting thing to look forward to after reading as well!!

Special shout out to @silvia-moon and @maause who were there from the beginning!! I loved every comment of yours and had a blast reading them every time 🥰

Ahhhh IM GETTING SO EMOTIONAL LIKE THIS LONG WINDING JOURNEY HAS FINALLY COME TO AN END 😭 (borderline tearing up while writing this post) but alas! Every banquet must come to an end (haha see what I did there? Hahaha....😭😭😭)

And of course there are the extras! But those shall be read some other day! In the meantime, I'm so so excited to get to drawing all my fave scenes!! I can't wait to get to that!

Until then,

Farewell 😊

#tian guan ci fu #tgcf #heaven’s official blessings #hua cheng #heaven's official blessings spoilers #tgcf spoilers #tgcf journey #xie lian #hualian #ch 240-end #Acc tho #what a journey #i cant wait for a reread #i wont be documenting that tho lol #ahhhh i know i already said this but thanks to all the cute ppl who kept up with this!! #i seriously had such a delightful time! #to the repeat likers of my posts #the commenters #the private messagers #silent readers #i love you all #wow #just a perfect finale #now i just gotta patiently wait for the final few vols to get the physical copies! #gotta pass this down to MY future generation some way lmao

[ha-youwish]

This is not a vent post, it’s a book recommendation and self-analysis kinda. Please consider reading this, I won’t blame you if you don’t.

Last year around this time, my granddaddy passed away. Usually, online and in formal spaces I would call him my grandfather, but that’s not what I call him and I will not limit myself for this post.

Last year around this time I was beginning my second semester of college ever. I was not doing so well. My grades were low because my attendance was abysmal and my work outside the class was shit. However the previous semester I had taken a class that I was able to stick around for more than the rest.

This class was studying how different major religions and cultures coped with death and how they thought of the afterlife. I bought the books for that class with financial aid and never read them.

Just now I got done reading one of the books, When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner, never read it until I found it sitting around today.

It’s a relatively short book, under 200 pages, about how Kushner deals with the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” from his place as a rabbi.

Now I don’t have any sort of relationship with god. i’m not strictly atheist or anything but i tend to believe in whatever religion people want me to believe in if they ask me to pray for them or a family member.

when grandaddy died, i had nothing to fall back on. granddaddy was extremely religious and generous, i am so incredibly grateful he was involved in my life and there for me. but people from his church said it was a part of god’s plan or that there was a reason he passed when he did and when i was in such a low state at college already.

i moved away to college and the landlord sold my home. i was in an unfamiliar uncomfortable place where the only place i felt fully comfortable was now completely inaccessible. my mom moved in with grandaddy and took care of him before he passed. it was tense. he was kind but old and stubborn and so is everyone else. the drain of taking care of someone can be worth it, but that doesnt mean its not there.

i was, and am, dealing with severe depression surrounded by other gloomy people who didnt make it much better. i never went to class and i had, and have, crushing guilt that i was wasting the time and money of my family.

and then granddaddy went to the hospital. and then he died. and its unfair.

all of it is unfair, and if it was a part of gods plan then hes fucking unfair too.

now, i have not necessarily moved on. my fingers shake still if i think about it too long. i dont even know if im going to post this because of how exposed and raw i feel. but its important to me that somehow in some way this gets expressed and that someone other than myself will read it.

your suffering was unfair, whether it was a lot or a little. the world is unfair. we all know it. i hope you know that you will never be able to look into the eyes of someone who has never known suffering, and i hope you can find some comfort in that connection.

this book is from the point of view from a religious man. it talks a lot about a god i dont believe in. but the way it talks about suffering and how it effects people makes it helpful for me to parse my own feelings and thoughts.

so feel free to replace god with whatever you want, with humanity and spirit and the universe and everything good. here are some quotes, alt text included:

- sometimes i convince myself that what i feel is nothing more than chemicals, that the regret i feel from not driving home the day before and visiting before he passed was just something my mind is doing.

i once stayed up late at grandaddys house after he passed and i was shoved right back into school like my life hadnt just gotten its shit rocked.

my mom was in her room asleep, but i really couldn’t take it anymore. we stayed up late just talking through how we felt after i had cried to her. and to be completely honest, hearing that she had regrets and wished for just a little more time fucking sucked. knowing the people around you are going through it sucks, even if it was to be expected

but we connected over that long early morning. we resolved almost nothing. i felt the same as i did before and granddaddys still dead and buried. but it was easier to go on after that.

another quote, a tldr if you don’t want to read the book but want to understand what he gets at, in the end of it all.

i dont think i can forgive other people for being unfair, not without effort. but i think i can forgive the universe because the unfairness is proof that people have choices. shit happens, you choose what to do after it.

for a lot of people, mourning and religion bring them the strength to move on, as he talks about in the book. things dont get better because of prayer that god will fix everything or the universe will set itself right again or you can escape through fantasy books to another world,

they get better because something gives us strength to get up again and keep moving. to kushner, thats god and people who came together to support him. to me, i dont know yet, i dont know if i’ve really started to pick up my life yet. but i think this book helped me start to see the bigger picture

#long post #sorry this is kinda personal #but like thanks for reading if you made it this far #im not putting a readmore for Reasons. sorry

[neptuneholub]

valentines day (cupid vs cupio / alterous vs altercation / wound vs coffee)

by neptune p. holub

.

"its not fair!" screams the child, throwing its toys out the room and shaking in rage. "why does everyone else get to have fun but me?!"

"because you're different," says the universe. "different, different, different."

"I don't want to be different!" the child wails. "i want to be like everyone else. i want to fit in and have fun like all my friends do!"

"i can give you a taste," says the universe. "just a taste, if it would placate you."

"oh, not just a taste," the child pleads. "oh, please let me be equal. oh, please."

and so the universe gives unto the child that which suffocates it; and so the universe gives unto the child that which it cannot hold; and so the universe gives unto the child that which drags it down to the bottom of the bog

"this isn't fair!" the child cries. "im all alone again."

"life isn't fair," says the universe. "im sorry."

"i know im different, and i know that it's beautiful, but why does it have to be this?" the child laments. "all i ever wanted was to be happy like everyone else."

"and you can be happy down here," says the universe. "bodies don't decompose in bogs. they allow the moss to grow over it."

"no one can reach me down here," the child frowns. "i want him to be able to reach me."

"and yet if he could, you would reject the hand he offers to pull you to safety," says the universe. "you're all want and no give."

"oh, please let me try."

and so the universe grants the child a lift; and so the universe carries the child out to the land; and so the universe deposits the child on the altar of enchantment, as it had desired.

"he will never love me the way i love him," the child says now, sitting on a bench with the universe by its side. "i should be grateful."

"you have never learnt how to be grateful," says the universe. "you're all desire and no thanks."

"if only he could love me more," the child says. "but if only he could love me less. you have not dealt me an easy hand."

"i've dealt you the hand you desire," says the universe, her own hand outstretched. "do you not desire the solitude?"

"there is a difference between isolation and solitude," the child says. "and you can't cure either."

and so the universe vanishes, and allows the child to be free; and so the universe kisses it's head and promises to return in a year's time; and so the universe leaves the child with what will slowly kill it.

"this isn't fair,” screams the child. “my toys are all outside!”

#my poetry #nph poetry #fucking. #aroace #cupioromantic #ya boys having a TIME today

[loveofbots]

hii second request ever woaw

i really hope i'm not annoying you or asking too much, but if i am please ignore!!

so, i asked for the Swerve x autistic gn reader during/after sensory overload, but i was wondering if we could get a version with Rung instead of Swerve too? <:3c

AGAIN sorry if im asking too much, feel free to ignore!! i just really liked the first one :×

thankns!!

- Raft (again,..)

YOU ARE NOT ANNOYING TYSM /gen

Again I am writing from personal experience, everyone experiences sensory overload differently

Rung gives me dad vibes but he is god after all-

Warnings: Sensory overload, anger, marshmallow fluffy

Work was too much, it was almost always too much. These days you really just grit your teeth through it and went on. Rung told you to take a break, even if it was just a small one. But as the only human on the Lost Light you had a duty to preform. One slip up, even just one day where you didn’t show up, and you felt as if the whole world would collapse.

It was a colossal weight upon your mental health and the strain was beginning to show. Tailgate had approached you today to ask how you were. While you were delighted for the break in your work to talk to the minibot, he brought up your stress- and by association your stressors.

The minibot was still two heads taller than you, but his worried demeanour was what really irked you.

“Cyclonus and I have been worried about you recently. You are hardly ever around just to hang out, and I’m getting concerned that Rodimus is working you too hard!”

You sighed and covered your face with your hand. Maybe if you were thinking about it logically- you would realize that he was just trying to make sure that you were ok. That Tailgate was trying to show that he cared.

But your brain was so crammed full of awfulness and stress that you snapped at your friend.

“Rodimus is not overworking me! I’m just fine and I don’t need anybody’s help!” You snatched your work off the table and left for your shared hab suite with Rung.

He was busy with a model ship as you walked in and headed straight for your bed.

You flopped down to try and rest, but EVERYTHING started to aggravate you. The sweater you wore bunched up and wouldn’t allow free movement, the texture of your pants made you just want to claw them off. The temperature was wrong, the lights were too bright, your skin was full of pins and needles!

Finally you broke, hitting the mattress hard with a balled up fist you cried out, tearing your clothes off. It was a fit of raged caused by your built up tension. It scared you, you were not an angry person. Yet everything made you want to leave, it made you so angry.

Finally the worst of it subsided and you laid down in bed. You heard the light flick off and footsteps approached the bed.

“Y/N?”

Sweetly Rung called out to you, his voice soft and quiet. He had known the moment you walked in that something was wrong. And hearing your fit in the room just confirmed his suspicions. However he did not run in and try to stop you, you were grateful. The anger needed to come out somehow. Better onto a pillow than a person.

The bot knelt down next to the bed and weaselled a hand up to your side, brushing your now bare skin. Once you responded by pulling him closer he took the cue and gently lifted you. Rung straightened out the sheets, fluffed the pillows, and climbed into the bed next to you. With the lights dimmed, texture fixed, and your lover next to you things were alright.

He rubbed your shoulders to relax some of the tension left behind. Giving you kisses on the head as you snuggled closer. His spark casing had a calming thrum.

“I’m so sorry baby...” You mumbled remorsefully into his chassis. He smiled and held you close. “I should have taken your advice, I should have taken a break.” 

Rung hummed and mulled what you said over in his head for a second. You loved just how thoughtful he was, how he actually heard what you said and took it into account. 

“It’s okay darling,” He began, cradling you as you so craved. Shielding you from the negative sensations of the world. “You’re resting now. I’ve got you.” 

It didn’t take very long after that for sleep to catch up to you. Rung double checked to make sure you were alright, leaving for only a moment to bring water to you and some of your favorite swim toys. Music? He hummed a little melody for you. Chewlery? Yeah he’s got those too. His digits stroked your face gently and he took his glasses off. 

Slowly but surely, the persistent annoyance of the world slipped away from you. Your contended face made Rung smile. 

“Feeling better?” 

“Yeah, thank you Hun.” 

#transformers #mtmte #tf #maccadam #idw #rung #x reader #requests #hi raft!!!

[acesofspadess]

Endless Love 8

a/n: thank you for going on this ride with me... much love- Ace

After party

You walked down the carpet with a line of interviewers waiting to talk to you.

You stood next to Niall with some distance to not give anything away. You and Niall both looked behind you at the same time before paying attention to the question. “What I love about tonight is that you are The Voice. Hollywood dreams are being made overnight. How do you feel?” you watched Niall smile at the interviewees question. “I'm really excited. I've just stopped crying, but I'm really excited and happy to be here and grateful. And I love my family and friends who have been cheering for me since day one.”

“What did they say?”

“Well my family is sleeping so they don't know yet but i called my friend Harry who had just gone on his intermission at his concert and he ran back on stage -with me on facetime- to tell everyone. That was really special. But I'm just very grateful that everyone that voted for Team Niall.” you said as you rested your head on his shoulder softly. 

“Tell me about Niall and your relationship and how he mentored you over the season.” you took your head off his shoulder and shook your head. “Where do I even start? Born in Mullingar- no i'm just kidding-,” you said as Niall laughed with a clap. “He's pretty cool.” you shrugged off. “No I'm absolutely not, but.” you laughed as he looked away from you, “thanks anyway Bleu.” he laughed nervously. “No, he truly has been a great mentor and an even better friend. I've said it before but I really do mean it. Don't tell him that though, he’ll get a big head.” you chuckled, rubbing his arm. “But he's truly been one the best friends and mentors a girl could ever ask for. Every single day I'm so happy that Niall chose me and I chose him.” you watched Niall rub his ear and you smiled knowing he only did that when he was flustered and fidgety.

“Where were you last year? Take me back to that moment.” 

“Oh I have no idea. Oh yes I do, I was graduating Uni. Oh my god that was a year ago.” you said with your hand now over your mouth in shock. “Only you would forget you graduated Uni two years early.” Niall teased and you laughed with your head in your hands. “But we’re here now and I think that's a pretty crazy difference.”

“Your EP: This is me. Who are you?”

“Well I just won the voice so I’d say winner of the voice?” you laughed lightly with a big smile as you saw Niall smile. 

“Last night you sang ‘Diamonds’ by Rihana, is she a big influence for you?

“Oh most definitely. I grew up listening to her because she's Caribbean and having someone I connect to in the music world definitely helped me get to where I am.”

“Now Niall, if this young woman is not busy, could maybe she join you on tour and open for you on The Show?”

“Oh I would love that, at some point. We could get her on some shows. Things will have to happen in the background but, yeah absolutely. I have a feeling she'll be there anyway,” he looked at you with a knowing smile and you smiled back. “I mean she is- i've been saying it for so long and i feel like no one was listening.” he pouted and you giggled. “Um but she is- like you know a talent when you hear it and uh, she's got it. There's no reason why she wouldn't open up for me sometime.”

After Niall answered about the one direction group chat you piped in. “A couple messages are from me when I steal Harry’s phone.” you laugh and Niall joined you. 

“Congratulations! How are you feeling right now? I mean your face was pure shock. Please take us into it.” another interviewer asked you.

“It was just really crazy. I didnt think they would call me name so when they did -oh man, im gonna start crying again-,” Niall rubbed your back softly with a small smile. “It was just really crazy. Everyone in the Top 5 had really smashing performances since ‘the blinds’, so i think everyone just did really well, and i'm happy to even be here.” you almost cried again and covered your face as you saw Niall smile widely. 

“Wow, and your almost in tears right now.” the interviewer pointed out. “Eveyone did well, but you did well too.”

“Oh thank you.” you replied back to her with a slightly shocked smile.

“So I mean in that moment though take me through it. What was going through your mind?”

You laughed softly, “honestly i couldn’t even tell ya’. Like I heard my name and like I lost all hearing.” you chuckled again at Nialls smile aimed towards the ground. “I looked at Niall and saw him with the biggest shit eating grin- oh sorry I don't think i can curse, apologies,” Nialls boisterous laugh cut you off and you looked at him with wide eyes. “So I looked at him to make sure like ‘they didn't call second place did they?’ and when i saw him standing up with the biggest smile i just crumpled. I think I’d still be there crying if it wasn’t for Grace.” you laughed behind your hand. “Im okay right now, but if i get asked a serious question I’m gonna lose it.” you finished off. 

“Niall I can just see in your face like you're just so happy for  Bleu. How does it feel being her coach and knowing that she won? Like what was your reaction?”

“Well as Bleu put it so elegantly earlier,” he said, which made you giggle. “I was just so happy for her. I always kinda knew… what she was capable of from her first audition, when she was a nervous wreck -self admittedly- i just knew that she had a tone that would really spike the nation's interest. A voice like that just stands out. The way she's just been constantly herself on camera and everywhere she's been, it just speaks to people. I'm just proud of her.” he looked at you as he said it and smiled at him softly.

“I think we were all shocked because of the level of talent in the final, it's just been- it could have been any of those 5. But apparently it's been the tightest win of all time, which says alot about Grace too. But,” he shrugged, “got a winner, and my Bleu.” he looked at you with a big closed lip smile and you knew the melty feeling you got was written all over your face.

As you finished up interviews Niall took your hand and walked you to your changing rooms for the after party. “I'll see you there baby.” he said as he gave you a kiss, then followed it with a few more pecks before your giggling ruined it.

When you made it to the after party after changing you met Niall at the entrance and he took your face in his hands and kissed you. “It's been too long since I last did that.” you smiled and kissed him again before getting interrupted by Kelly. “C’mon love birds we wanna celebrate!” she screamed with a laugh. You hid your face in Niall's chest and walked with him hand-in-hand inside where everyone was waiting. 

You all danced and talked and had a good time. You were doing a 360 video and Niall wrapped his arm around your shoulder while getting everyone to shout ‘Bleu’. The camera was spinning around you guys when Niall took his free hand and angled your chin towards him. He looked at your eyes for a brief second and attached his lips to yours in a loving kiss.

The screams around you is what brought you guys out of your bubble. “I love you Bleu, so much.”

“I love you Niall, more than words can ever express.” he kissed you again and you smiled eagerly kissing him back. 

bleuwilson was told only winners get kisses

User7 Yesssss

niallhoran my winner

↳ harrystyles our* winner

↳↳ bleuwilson I love you so much Haza

User9 biggest slay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Niall Taglist:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

#nialler #cute niall #niall horan x reader #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan #niall horan smut #niall fanfic #niall one shot #one direction #solo niall #niall 1d #niall james horan #niall horan fic #niall the show #niall horan x y/n #niall imagine #niall horan x you #the show 2024 #endless love

[jaydangan]

ok !! heres nyx lore because i can and because i want to (this will be long :3) (im taking nyxs parents explanation from the coming soon nyx relationship list they know) (also this contains spoilers from udg)

TW ;; EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE ,, NEGLECT ,, PEDOPHILIA ,, MANIPULATION / TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ,, SLIGHT GORY DEATH ,, MENTION OF ALMOST DROWNING (please ignore if uncomfortable)

CHARACTERS/SELFINSERT USED ;; NYX (self insert) ,, MONACA TOWA ,, KOTOKO UTSUGI ,, SERVANT / NAGITO KOMAEDA

before we get to the actual lore, i will explain their family and the reason for some of their traits. (parents explanation copy pasted from nyx relationship list):

!! NYX'S FAMILY !!

nyx's father - TW PEDOPHILIA AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE: nyx's father keeps switching between a loving and caring father to someone with severe angry issues and an extremely mean person. other times, nyx's father implies to romantically like nyx. nyx thinks themself as wothless and useless, due to the fact their dad forced them to follow his orders and to please him, making nyx feel like theyre in the wrong one for feeling negative. one time, they cried infront of everyone as a kid for being forced to run and their legs hurt, their father only cares about how people looked at them weirdly. as a result, nyx has an incredibly low image/self esteem of themself, and them being easily attached to people who show the least amount of care for them. nyx copes from this by using humor and repressing their feelings. ( though, they break down easily. ) nyx doesnt know what to feel about their father, due to their fathers extreme mood swings but they know that in any way, there will always be a side where they hate him. theyre traumatized on how brutal the Warriors of Hope killed their parents, but slightly grateful for it.

nyx's mother - TW NEGLECT OF EMOTIONAL/MENTAL NEEDS: nyx's mother is a self-centered person who works in a cosmetic company. she usually uses nyx as the model for her make-up company, even if nyx insisted that they dont feel comfortable being a model. nyx's mother multiple times force nyx to do her wishes, prioritizing her needs over theirs without permission from nyx themself. nyx's mother forces nyx to go out often. and everytime nyx tries to refuse, she will try to make up an excuse on why they have to go or try to guilttrip nyx by telling them that theyre so 'selfish' for not fulfilling her needs. nyx's mother often blames others over her own mess, making her a person who thinks that she is always right. nyx hates her, and is extremely uncomfortable by her. even if they were traumatized of how brutal the WoH killed their parents, but theyre slightly grateful for it.

nyx's brother: the only one in the family that nyx actually trusts. nyx's brother is a 3rd year highschooler who is pretty strict towards nyx and obedient towards their parents, nyx's brother actually took care of nyx unlike their parents. nyx is grateful for him. they're traumatized on how brutal the WoH killed their brother, and doesnt really forgive them for killing the only one that cared about them at the moment.

!! TRAITS !!

- nyx is pretty self centered and is excessively interested in themself, due to the fact that they never really had anyone to talk to friendly in their elementary to middle school times. this leads to them being seen staring at mirrors and talking to themself a lot. they also talk a lot about themself and their interests to the people they really trust or people who are interested in them.

- nyx is easily attached to the people who show the least amount of care towards them, due to the fact they never really got much attention from the people around them. they will cling to people and try to start talking to them, but most of the time the other person started it, because nyx is awfully socially awkward.

- nyx has a severe abandonment issues, since WoH taken nyx as their second servant. this is because they have experienced their parents threaten to leave them if they disobey. monaca gains from this so nyx doesnt try to betray her.

- nyx has a trigger on being called useless, as it triggers how their parents view them whenever they make a mistake or "made a fool out of themselfs". they try their best to be useful to avoid being helpless to people.

okay, were gonna go to the actual lore now

- nyx in pre-udg was a student from the Hope's Peak middle school, taking from reverse course. they werent accepted through the Ultimates Hope's Peak academy due to the fact all of their talents were taken by other ultimates, leading them to end up in the reverse course.

- before the tragedy started (when reverse courses were brainwashed to mass suicide and... dying people in general), nyx and their family decided to travel to towa city and stay there for 2 days as vacation or.. whatever you call it.

- nyx and their brother was dragged into their parents bedrooms in the hotel. they were both pretty annoyed by it, but obeyed anyway. when nyx was drawing and doodling, a... child? the pink haired child broke in and killed their parents and brother by slitting their head off, nyx was frightened as they back away from the pink haired girl, expecting for her to kill them.

- but, for some reason, when the pink haired child turn their head to look at nyx, her eyes sparkled. she ran to nyx and took their hands into hers. nyx was confused, but abides anyway.

- the girl introduced herself as Kotoko Utsugi, and in the next second, kotoko found nyx cute! so she... recruited them to be a part of warriors of hope? at first, nyx declines by shaking their head 'no' profusely, but uh... they ended up being the second servant for monaca.

- due to being with warriors of hope, they started to believe that adults are all bad, before they met nagito. at first, nyx was hestitant that theyll serve monaca with him, but ends up opening up to him later in UDG.

- since nyx cant really fight, nyx is a servant to serve the Warriors of Hope in terms of food, drinks, etc etc

- for some silly moments, kotoko almost drowned nyx <3 kotoko sunked nyx's head deep into the water to see how long he can breathe underwater

- nyx in the end of UDG, nyx did end up escaping from monaca, the WoH and nagito helped them

thank u for coming to my ted talk if u have any questions feel free to ask

I- okay nyx really need therapy i- im sorry for them like- can i please give them hugs? And blankets? And candy? And stuffies? And anything they want? And tell them they're really useful? I- please they dont deserve this :(

And honestly, nyx dad and mum deserved their death, fuck them honestly. But i feel really bad for nyx brother :(

Really, i wanna hug nyx sm