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kuma829 · 2 years

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Wedding Speech＊Strumming Bride Light Translation Chapter Eight

Cast: Kaoru, Koga, Adonis, Rei

Author(s): Yuumasu and Akira

Season: Summer

Proofread by: Gelyan

(That’s surprisin,’ you’ve got balls, don’tcha? I’m coming to gain some more respect for him ♪?)

Koga: —Right, let’s start from the top

Kaoru: ♪~♪~♪

(I can play without looking at my hands, I can finally face the audience…)

Adonis: …

Kaoru: (Adonis-kun’s snapping his fingers with the rhythm, it looks like he’s enjoying the guitar)

Koga: : ♪~♪~♪

Kaoru: (I realised this when we were playing before, but the tone of the guitar varies depending on the person playing it…)

(I’m so busy checking sheet music, I don’t have time to check what I sound like…)

(What am I even saying~ I’m thinking about this even though I can’t play all that well at all… It’s a hundred years too early to be thinking about this)

(C’mon man, pull it together, practice makes perfect ♪)

(...Ah, there’s Rei-kun)

(I didn’t know he’d be coming in today, is he here to see what’s going on?)

Rei: …

Kaoru: (Ah, our eyes met… He’s smiling. I wonder what he’s thinking, probably something like~ “Oh, is Kaoru-kun playing the guitar ♪”)

(If I act way too flustered, that’ll likely please him more, so I’ll just stand up tall)

(... Huh? Someone else entered the room too?)

(Eeeh?! Anzu-chan!?)

Koga: Uwaa!? Hakaze-senpai, don’t just stand there, play, why dontchya~!?

Kaoru: Sorry, sorry… I don’t know what came over me just now, ahaha…

(I wonder why Anzu-chan’s here… Maybe Rei-kun called her over to say hi to me?)

(I’m watching them as they talk, but it’s sorta hard to keep up while playing…?)

(... Yeah, you know what, I’ll just concentrate on the performance for now. Koga-kun’s counting on me…)

(The reception draws closer, I don’t have time to mess around)

♪~♪~♪

Koga: (... Oh, Hakaze-senpai’s gotten better at the guitar)

(It’s a bit rough around the edges, but the sound when you really get into it… Now that’s the best feelin’ ever)

(He wasn’t that good at playin instruments, and even struggled learnin’ the chords, too… I thought he’d give up by now)

(That’s surprisin,’ you’ve got balls, don’tcha? I’m coming to gain some more respect for him ♪?)

<10 Minutes Later>

Rei: … Looks like it’s break time~

Kaoru-kun, Koga-kun, let’s stop practising, okay? Jou-chan’s got something for us.

Koga: Alright, c’mon Hakaze-senpai.

Kaoru: I’m worn out, so, sure, let’s have a quick break now.

Anzu-chan, what do you have for us?

Eh? You want UNDEAD to sing you a wedding song?

Adonis: … Hmm, so a bridal company asked ES idols to sing a song about weddings?

Kaoru: Was this why you were so curious talking to me the other day? Why you asked me if I was interested in getting married?

… Ah, so that’s how it is. I’ve been so busy with my sister’s ceremony that I didn’t think twice about it, sorry.

But, why us? Most wedding songs have more vibrancy to them, y’kno?

UNDEAD’s theme isn’t that suited for something like that… Wouldn’t another unit be a much better choice? Someone less, “outlandish?”

Huh, you heard about the wedding ceremony from me, so…

You thought it’d be a nice surprise if we were to first perform it for my sister’s wedding and then later perform it for the bridal promotion?

You already talked with the bridal company, and they were enthusiastic about the ordeal? And you’re here now to officially ask us?

So you chose it because, of me—

No. Hah… You chose it for my sister’s sake.

Adonis: Hakaze-senpai, why are you acting flustered?

Kaoru: Hm? Ah, no, no. I’m not acting flustered at all, haha! I’m doing just fine, just fine ♪

It was enough to just listen to my rambles, but Anzu-chan seriously went above and beyond. You’re always taking care of me, Anzu-chan. Thank you.

I say yes, I’d be happy to do it. How about you guys?

Rei: Likewise, I brought Jou-chan for that reason.

Adonis: I agree. The songs UNDEAD makes are all about “extremes” and “immortality.”

To make a song dedicated to everlasting love to celebrate the bindings of a wedding, I feel it to be appropriate.

Koga: I don’t disagree, but what kind of songs are ya gonna make us sing? Please don’t let it be some embarrassing sickenly sweet love song type shit…

You have the instrumental tracks ready? Then you better make it quick, c’mon bring it over.

Ooh, c’mon let me give it a listen.

Adonis: …

… This song’s serene, it gives off a gentleness… Anzu is right, this song seems suitable for a wedding.

Koga: It gives off a completely different vibe from the songs we usually play, it’s gonna be fun to make a melody for this.

… Hmm? You said you have a favour to ask of Hakaze-senpai when he performs this song?

Kaoru: You want me to play the guitar part…? Eeeh? Me? Why?

Adonis: … Hmm… Originally you wanted Oogami to do it, that’s what Sakuma-senpai was mentioning off-handily, but then you came here and saw…

Hakaze-senpai practising the guitar with your own two eyes…So you changed your mind?

Rei: Kukuku, Kaoru-kun is best suited to take the main stage, considering it’s his family, wouldn’t you agree?

Koga: Yah, I’ve gotta agree. No reason to why I should steal the spotlight away from my senpai’s sister’s wedding.

Hakaze-senpai has a “soft” tone when he plays his guitar, it’s perfect for this song.

Kaoru: Hmm… I agree with everyone’s opinions, and I’d love to follow suit, but… I’m not sure if I could deliver with the practice I’ve done until now. I wonder if I could squeeze in some more time to hone my skills further~?

Koga: “I’m not sure if I could deliver,” I’ll stop you right there. You can deliver.

Didn’t ya tell Anzu that you’d listen to whatever she said? Don’t go putting yourself down before ya even give it a shot.

Kaoru: … Then, I won’t say “I can’t do it.” Not after all those nice things you just said.

Even if all my effort doesn’t pay off, it’s still better than not even trying and regretting what could have been.

Adonis: It’s okay. Hard work and muscles will never betray you.

I can’t help you with guitars, but I’m happy to help in any other way I can.

Hakaze-senpai, you do not stand alone. We will sing on the grand stage together, as the show will surely be a success when we join forces.

Kaoru: Aha, thanks for all the praise. I can’t refuse now, can I? Not with all that endless support.

I think we should cut our conversation now, let’s keep practising… ♪

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#adonis otogari #Kaoru Hakaze #rei sakuma #Koga Oogami #undead #sustain memories

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

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You Know What They Say About Weddings // R.W. (celebration fic)

Request: Omg congratulations!!!! Could you do a Ron x Reader with the "theres only one bed" trope and fluff prompts 11 and 1? Thank you so much and congrats again!! - @mischi3f-manag3d

Fluff 1: “I think I’m in love with you.”

Fluff 11: “Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”

A/N: Just me that's ridiculously attracted to the photo below? Anyway! Here is your request, I hope you like!!

Pairing: Ron Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I don’t think there are any - just a load of fluff really.

Word count: 1.6k

The band hired by Molly Weasley upon the recommendation of an old friend played in the corner of the marquee. The Weasley family and their friends all crowded there; happy to watch the eldest Weasley child, Bill, marry the love of his life, Fleur.

It had been a wonderful ceremony; very few left the service with dry eyes.

You found it hard to keep your emotions in check through it all; wanting so desperately to turn to the youngest Weasley son beside you and ask if he felt the same way as you – if he loved you just as much as you have loved him since Fifth Year.

You think back to this morning; when you had arrived at the Burrow in time to watch the marquee be raised. Your eyes had landed on Ron, and they hadn’t left him. Your eyes ran over his body; drinking in the sight of him in a suit – sleeves rolled up due to the already warm day. Not wanting to be caught, you turned away and rid your mind of the thoughts running through it at warp speed.

With a laugh at the memory, you drag Ron onto the dancefloor. Awkwardness radiates from him, but he dutifully places his hand on your waist and takes your hand in his as your other hand places itself on his shoulder. You laugh together as you try to follow the beat of the song; the dance lessons given by McGonagall doing nothing for either of your left feet. You step on his toes repeatedly, but he doesn’t complain once; he just changes tact – instead of trying to attempt the waltz, he simply changes the hold of his arms and decides to have fun instead.

Spinning around the dancefloor; you can’t help but let yourself imagine. You can’t help but let yourself think of the future you so desperately desired with the very redhead holding you so gently in his arms.

You know what they say about weddings.

-----

Fred leans down to Harry’s ear, pointing towards Ron and you on the dancefloor, “When do you think they’ll pull their finger out?”

Harry laughs, “Worried about the bet, Fred?”

Fred snorts, “Hardly.”

Harry watches his best friend twirl you around on the dancefloor before pulling you back in as you laugh. Harry swivels to face Fred, “You know what they say about weddings.”

--------

You throw off your heels; groaning at the feel of your blood rushing back to your feet. At this height, Ron can easily throw an arm over your shoulder, “Better?”

You nod, “Much.”

Following Ron upstairs, you stifle yawn after yawn. The reception had been one of the best nights of your life; dancing, drinking, laughing – it was a truly happy night. You had danced with Ron for a lot of night; dragging him to the dancefloor for one dance but then staying with him for three more. He eventually left to get drinks whilst you danced with Hermione, Ginny, and Luna – a wide smile across your face.

You hadn’t missed the looks exchanged by the girls when Ron came back to steal your attention. You also hadn’t missed the conversation between Ron’s family and your friends as they watched you continue to the dance with the red-haired man.

You shake your head as you remember that moment; you were aware of the bet they had going. Hermione unable to keep a secret from you had blabbed it to you less than a month after it was made. She felt awful for keeping it from you, but you assured her you didn’t mind too much – curious as to who had what date.

“You don’t mind sharing my room with me?” Ron checks.

You shake your head, smiling at him sleepily, “I don’t mind.”

Ron relaxes somewhat, but he still remains tense, “There’s only one bed.”

You roll your eyes, “How many nights did I sneak into the hospital to stay with you after you hurt your leg?”

Ron blushes, “You’re right. I’ll let you get changed first… just knock when you’re done.”

In that moment, he looks so helpless that you lift yourself onto your tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek. The last thing you see before closing his bedroom door is Ron pressing a hand to his cheek with a wide smile.

You knock lightly on the door when you’re done changing. Ron enters the room with a light blush dusting his cheeks; his eyes running over body quickly. He turns to his dresser, pulling out his pyjamas.

“I’ll wait outside for you to finish changing.”

Ron shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it; just turn around.”

“If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” He laughs.

You turn to face the singular window; the moon is high in the sky and the sky is so clear that you can see the stars. Looking into the garden, you see Bill and Fleur still dancing – alone, no longer surrounded by family and friends. They have no idea they have an audience; they just remain in each other’s arms, finally happy to have a private moment between them. You shift your gaze when Bill dips his heads to kiss his wife.

You think to yourself; there’s just something about weddings.

Ron coughs; bringing you out of your reverie. Turning around, you find him dressed in some old sweatpants and an old shirt. Your heart softens at the sight of him; his hands flex at his side – his nervous tick

His bed is just big enough for two; you lie side by side on your back, hands laid out by your sides. It would take less than a millimetre of space; less than a second of time to reach out and take his hand in yours, to tangle your fingers together.

But you don’t. You lie next to him; mind racing just as fast as your heart – any sense of tiredness hanging over you chased away the moment you laid down next to the boy you’ve loved since Fifth Year.

“Did you have fun today?” Ron asks in the dark; filling the silence.

“I did. It was nice to see everyone before we go back to school. Harry and Ginny looked particularly close.”

Ron frowns, “My sister and my best friend.”

You giggle, turning onto your side, “Don’t act like you don’t approve.”

Ron sighs with a smile, “You’ve caught me out,” He furrows his brows, “Did you see them all whispering when we were dancing?”

Nodding, you bite your lip, “Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”

Ron snorts, reaching for your hand in the dark, “I know. Harry told me about it tonight.”

You sit up in bed; not letting go of his hand, “How long has it been going on? Hermione told me about it but she never said when it started.”

“Since last year. Harry only brought it up because if we get together by Saturday, he wins the bet.”

You laugh, “I can’t believe them.”

“Absolute gits,” Ron laughs.

You play with your fingers, dropping his hand to do so, “What do you think of the bet?”

Ron sits up, “Why?”

“It doesn’t annoy you?” You question; risking a peek at his face in the limited light of the moon.

“Not particularly. It’s a harmless bet.”

You nod your head; trying not to think too much of it.

“Why? What do you think of the bet?”

You sigh heavily; wondering how best to phrase what you’ve wanted to say to him all day, deciding that the truth is the best way to go. “I think I’m in love with you,” You state; bluntly, honestly.

Ron’s mouth drops open and you start talking without giving him a chance to say anything, “You don’t need to feel the same; really, you don’t,” You grab a pillow, “I’ll go sleep on the couch, I’ll see you in the morning.”

You make to leave but Ron’s hand grips your wrist, “Sit back down. At least give me a chance to reply.”

You sit back down on the bed slowly; your hand still grips the pillow in case you need to sleep downstairs. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Ron asks.

Shrugging your shoulders, you say, “I’m not sure. I wanted to, I really did but then you were with Lavender and I didn’t feel like talking to you a lot and then, and then, and then, I guess I didn’t want to ruin the friendship.”

“I wondered why you pulled away through Lavender; I barely saw you.”

You sigh; crushing the pillow to your chest, “It hurt too much to look at you.”

Ron shuffles on the bed, “If I had known-”

“You’d have what?” You interrupt, “You’d have broken up with her?”

Ron shakes his head, “I’d have never dated her.”

“What?”

“I’d have never dated her,” He repeats, “I’d have asked you out.”

“Oh,” You state.

“Yeah,” Ron mumbles, looking down.

“We’ve mucked this up haven’t we?”

“Nah, we haven’t,” Ron laughs, “We just delayed their bet.”

You giggle, “The bet. Who do we want to win?”

“Who’s the closest to tonight?”

You think for a moment; remembering the piece of paper that Hermione explained was the bet. “I think you were right earlier,” You say, “Harry is the closest by Saturday.”

“What do you think? Shall we let Harry win?”

You smile softly, leaning closer to Ron, “I think I’m okay with Harry winning.”

“Thank Merlin,” Ron whispers before pulling you in for a kiss.

His hand caresses your cheek, and he smiles into the kiss. You soon begin to laugh at the absurdity of it all; having to pull away from the redhead and assure him that it isn’t him you’re laughing at. Your jealousy over Lavender never spurred you to confess your feelings, neither did the Department of Mysteries, but a bet and a wedding has you falling into Ron’s arms.

Well, you know what they say about weddings.

***********

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @summer-writes @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife @levylovegood @mytreec @haphazardhufflepuff @teheharrypotter @chaoticgirl04 @accio-rogers @msmimimerton @izzytheninja @slytherinprincess03 @acciotwinz @kashishwrites

#ron weasley x reader #ron weasley #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley reader insert #ronald bilius weasley #ron x reader #ron weasley x you #ron weasley x y/n #fluff #ron fluff #ron weasley fluff #hp fanfiction #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #the golden trio #the golden trio fanfiction #the lightning era #my writing

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felassan · 3 years

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Check out this video interview with Mark Darrah, ‘On Anthem’s Launch, Dev Advice, And Leaving BioWare’. It’s interesting and pretty substantial. He talks about a bunch of different things, including his YouTube channel, things BioWare could’ve done differently, crunch, whether he’ll write a book about his gamedev experiences, gamedev pitfalls, Anthem’s troubled development, the development of projects he worked on including DA2, cancelled projects (and what happened to them) including Jade Empire 2 / ‘Jade Modern’ / Revolver and Mass Effect: Corsair, the reasons why he left BioWare and Dragon Age 4.

I recc giving the whole thing a watch, but if you’re not able to, here are the Dragon Age 4-related quotes and other especially interesting-to-me portions transcribed for ur convenience! (under a cut due to length):

Mark: "There is a tendency for projects that are small to think they're amazing, because it's so much easier. Like when I ran Sonic [Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood] - it was a 20 person team - it's just so much easier to make things go smoothly than when you have a 200 person team. So I think that we've made progress, but as Dragon Age pivots into production and that team gets bigger and bigger, it will be interesting to see if that's true or if it's just the blindness of being a small team. Like when Inquisition was in the throes of shipping, both Mass Effect: Andromeda and Anthem would love to talk about how they were 'doing things right!' and then they fell in totally different holes, but still fell in a bunch of holes after Inquisition shipped. So I do think that there is a hubris that comes from a project in early development where you feel like this time you've figured it out."

--- Mark: “As Dragon Age [4] was moving towards production, I could see that like, the team, I've been told by people that they've never met a team that more wants to be in production than Dragon Age team. But what ended up happening was, in order for the team to really explore the space properly, we had to sort've train them to be in pre-production. But that meant that that team no longer really wanted to be in production, they wanted to be in pre-production. And so, looking at what was going to be required to pivot that team into production, it wasn't a challenge that I thought I was up to any longer. I think that team, once they get into the mindset, is capable of moving entire mountains, and will move entire mountains, but they need someone that can lead them through that."

Interviewer: “Yeah, from the outside it's striking that you and Casey Hudson left at the same time. It sort’ve definitely implies a ‘fuck this’ moment for the two of you. If it was just you saying ‘I can’t do it’ then it’s understandable.”

Mark: “Yeah, no, I mean, it’s hilarious, because, we definitely were not coordinated. That was, as near as I can determine, there was nothing that triggered us on the same moment other than maybe just a sort’ve mounting, just, like, this friction, being at the, I would say, the GM and EP, the point at which the [something?] friction and the project friction meet, and you’re just sort of grinding there. But I don’t think there was a massive injection of anything late last year that triggered that. Not that I can point to. For me, yeah, I do think it was, weirdly, a coincidence. Casey and I have stayed in touch, we didn’t leave to go form a studio together or anything.”

---

Interviewer: “Are you being torn apart a little bit internally about that pressure of, ‘I know if I just made a video that said, The Secrets of Dragon Age - not even Dragon Age 4, whatever the hell that thing’s called at this point - but just, The Secrets of Dragon Age: Origins’, like, you know that audience surely would show up. I imagine there’s that community that’s screaming at you, like, ‘Tell us something we don’t know about Dragon Age, tell us about the future!!’, versus, trying to play it a little more straight and actually offer gamedev advice.”

Mark: “Yeah, for sure, absolutely, like, looking at, there is an entire segment of YouTube which is ‘Dragon Age fans talking about Dragon theories and watching the trailers and picking them apart’ and I could do that, and that would be, I feel like that would almost destructive to everybody, because I could deflate all the theories, some of which are completely completely wrong, some of which are amazingly right. But I think, like, I don’t think the community actually wants that. They might sort’ve think they do, but I think if I just sort’ve pulled away the curtain, I think it’d be like, ‘Ohh.. but now what are we gonna talk about? :(’ Like I don’t think that anybody wants that honestly. It would be great for my metrics but I don’t think anyone really wants that.”

Interviewer: “And not to offer you advice, but like I think there’s somewhere in the middle. Like when they have the next teaser trailer for the next Dragon Age project, you could do a reaction video to that and it would be your most viewed thing by a mile, and you wouldn’t be stepping on anybody’s toes.”

Mark: “Yeah, I have thought about that exact thing. Cause we’ve now moved, I think, beyond the horizon of anything that comes out of Dragon Age at this point, like if they’re at EA Play, and I don’t know if they’re at EA Play or not, then whatever that is will be something that I didn’t have anything to do with, so we’re reaching the point where I can now, I feel like, start to provide, yeah, reaction videos from the perspective of, an incredibly well-informed outsider.”

---

Interviewer: “And you must know, even though you’re not inside the studio, like, just have an appreciation how much that [MELE’s good success and good reception] can do for the studio’s morale. I’d imagine it’s just night and day.”

Mark: “Oh, absolutely, like. Andromeda and Anthem being the last two things before the remaster, that is a cloud that hangs above the studio for sure.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, I mean I remember visiting for Dragon Age: Inquisition, it must have been, and it was still, like, the Mass Effect 3 ending, I feel like, even visiting the studio for two days, you could feel that like, funk, of just like ‘ugh, good Christ, we’ve gotten the crap kicked out of us’.”

Mark: “Yeah, I mean. The Mass endings is an interesting one for me. Because, it’s not the choices I would have made to end the game, but those are the choices that were made. I wonder... I don’t like ultimatums, and I feel like with Mass 3, the team kind’ve gave into an ultimatum. The community was so angry that we then released new better endings to ‘fix it’, and it’s not that that’s a bad piece of content, that’s a good piece of content, but I just worry that, the internet today, seems almost like... a reaction to the Mass 3 endings. Almost like, the internet learned that if you just yell loud enough you get what you want. And I don’t think that’s real, because it’s Mass Effect, it’s not Star Wars.”

Interviewer: “But I mean, if it wasn’t the ending of Mass Effect 3, it would have been something else in that era of Voices On The Internet Being So loud that it causes a big company to pivot and be like ‘Okay, we’ll try and make you a little bit happier, please just relax everybody’.”

Mark: “Yeah, totally. So I mean, I don’t think Mass Effect bears the brunt of the blame of toxic fan culture. But certainly it’s one of the very first examples of that culture managing to make something happen.”

---

Mark: “Now I do feel that maybe I overlearned that lesson, because, something that I did a lot on Anthem was talk about how, you know, ‘this is not a BioWare-style game, this is not gonna have the storytelling that you’re used to’. And I think maybe I overstressed that. I do think that at the end of the day where we are with Anthem today, if you were a BioWare fan that liked all our other games, and you play Anthem with an eye to playing it as a storytelling game, it’s certainly not our best, but it’s not bad.”

Interviewer: “So Anthem marketing and messaging was hurt because you were overlearning the lessons from Sonic, that’s the takeaway?”

Mark: “I do think so. I do think that like, I don’t think it was from the marketing perspective, but I do think that both Casey and I overstressed [that]. We didn’t want people to get mad at us for making a game that wasn’t a very good storytelling game, so we wanted to get ahead of that message and say like, ‘it’s not a very strong storytelling game, it’s a game about all this other stuff’, but, at the end of the day, it is a storytelling game, it’s still in there. And those are the people that stayed away. And if those people hadn't stayed away, I’m not saying the game would have suddenly done [awesome], but it would’ve softened the narrative a little bit, I think.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, yeah. I mean, I’m sure you understand this better than anybody, but that’s such a loaded term to say ‘This is a BioWare-style game’, and obviously there’s that era of EA where they were trying to say that every project within EA was a ‘BioWare-style’ game and so, it’s interesting to hear you kind’ve, hemming and hawwing about how much to lean into, ‘no no, this one is 100% BioWare, this one is 73% BioWare’ - it’s such a murky thing.”

Mark: “It absolutely is, I mean, and I even said these things. Like we made MDK2, well, we made it, so I mean is that a ‘BioWare-style’ game? Is Baldur’s Gate a ‘BioWare-style’ game? But if it is, then how is Mass Effect a ‘BioWare-style’ game, and certainly I don’t think anyone would argue that Mass Effect is not a ‘BioWare-style’ game. So that term has to evolve as the studio continues. But I think for whatever reason, for a variety of reasons, I guess, with Anthem we were worried that maybe we’d pushed it a bit too far. And then I guess we did.”

Interviewer: “Did you enjoy any part of working on Anthem, or was it just a matter of putting out so many fires that it was just nothing but stress til the end?”

Mark: “It was stressful for me. I mean. I have a weird - the last ten years of my career at BioWare seemed to involve a lot of helping people land their planes. And that’s what Anthem was for me, I wasn't there from the beginning. I was helping to land it. I think there’s a satisfaction that comes with landing a game, with finishing a product, and I felt that with Anthem as well, and there were a lot of talented people on that project that I’d never worked with before, and that was great. It was great to, y’know, figure out these people that had only ever worked on a Mass Effect, that I’d never worked with before, their skills and abilities. I really like understanding the strengths and weaknesses of a person and building around that. I didn’t really have an opportunity on Anthem to do that because y’know, we were just trying to get the plane on the ground, but I think, having learned about what those people could do, that’s very gratifying because it lets you imagine what you could do with them in the future.”

Interviewer: “Yeah, if things aligned magically, but for you you realized it never was gonna align, and it was always just right on the horizon of being able to cobble this amazing talent together and focus it down.”

Mark: “Yeah, I mean - I think that I, the mistake that I made on Anthem, I think the biggest mistake, was I’m used to getting a team that pushes back on me in a certain way. So as I’m sort’ve pushing the stick down to get the plane to hit the runway, I’m used to pushing it sort’ve too far, because I know that the team is gonna push it back and then we’re gonna end up where it should be. And I think that given the state of the team on Anthem when I came on, and given the differences in personalities of the leaders there, versus the ones that I’d been working with for ten years, that’s not what happened. I think if anything, I pushed it down, and then they grabbed it and pulled it even further, because they were desperate for help in decision-making, and I was providing decisions. And they were grabbing onto that, and so I thought we were on this glide slope [motions], I was aiming at this glide slope expecting that we were gonna be like [this], but instead we were like [this], and so we, yeah, we landed that pretty rough. But, I mean, it was my call, I’m the one that said we shouldn’t push to move this, not because I thought it was perfect, but because the only path I could see to making it way better was moving it a lot. And when you’re in the last eight, nine weeks of a project, I could only see like, if we were gonna move it, we [would] have to move it like a year. And that’s - in a public corporation that’s a hard argument to make.”

---

Mark: “One of the most expensive things a project can do is slip. Because, your team, when you do that your team is at its maximum size, so if you got 200 people working on a project and you move a month, well that’s 200 staff months, you just got a bunch more expensive just by moving a month. Whereas actually adding more people, well if you only got a month left, to add 200 staff months to a project, you gotta add 200 people, that’s a lotta people. Moving the date is one of the most expensive, and you can reach a point where it’s like, look, it’s not worth it, if we move the date it’s gonna cost more to continue this project than it’s gonna make, so we’re not gonna. But rarely is that the case, you’ve already spent the money you’ve spent, so the only cost that matters is the cost going forward.”

Interviewer: “So, do you regret not pushing for Anthem to be delayed a year or was it good just to get something on the ground so that we could start building to take it off again with a living game?”

Mark: “Yeah, honestly, I don’t regret it, the [team/game?] was tired and it didn’t have another year in it, and I think a lot of the things that are super obvious now, some of them we knew, some of them we knew, like the balance, we had done one, clean balance pass, by having QA come in and hotseat their way through the game over Christmas break. Like literally playing the game 24 hours a day. We’d done basically that once. So we knew that, we knew that. But a lot of the other things kind’ve only came out once it was out in peoples’ hands. I think the path that I wasn’t capable of seeing at the time that could’ve maybe resulted in a better game would’ve been to put it into beta, like a real beta, in the state that it was in, and run it like that and then release it a year later. But I don’t know if there was the will to do that frankly. There might be now... I think Anthem taught EA a lot of lessons.”

Mark: “[on Cyberpunk] I think many of the same things happened there [as with Anthem]. They had a team that was tired and it wasn’t ready but they couldn’t see the path to getting it more ready. If the team is too tired, just taking another two months just isn’t gonna get you what you think it’s gonna get you.” [source]

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #mass effect: andromeda #anthem #mass effect

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abarbaricyalp · 3 years

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Hand holding 37

37) not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out

I assumed SamBucky. If not, just let me know!

Reblogging with the AO3 link ASAP so hopefully it'll stay in the tag this time.

i wanna hold your hand

Bucky had been in Delacroix for six months when the invitation rolled in. He flipped the heavy, glossy card over in his fingers, stacked the multiple envelopes and smaller cards and pieces of tissue paper together, and then looked at the fancy golden script again.

Albert James Wilson and Stephanie Marie Pujols cordially invite Captain Samuel Thomas Wilson to celebrate their wedding with them on the Third of August Two-Thousand-and-Twenty-Five.

There was more text--RSVP instructions, food preferences, a location--but Bucky’s eyes kept drifting to the scrawled message at the bottom of the invitation next to a quickly drawn shield.

Please bring Sergeant Barnes as your plus one -❤️ Stephanie-

He just about flung the invitation across the kitchen when he heard the door open. “Will you go get the rest of the groceries out of the truck? It’s about to open up and I don’t want to be dragging shit through the rain,” Sam said as he stumbled through the entryway to the kitchen. “Oh, you saw the card, great. You can remember what day it is. They sent a Save-the-Date ages ago but I totally forgot about it.”

Bucky felt a little hollow in the chest as he listened to Sam carry on like it was nothing that someone Bucky didn’t even know asked for him by name. Asked Sam for him. “Uh, who's Albert?” he finally managed to get out through the heavy lump in his throat.

“He’s one of my cousins. One of the babies. I think he’s, like, twenty-six or something? Maybe a little older. Him and Steph have been dating for ages but they took everything really slow. She went to grad school and they always said they weren’t getting married until they were totally graduated and had jobs. And then, you know, the Blip and all.”

Sam set the bags of groceries down on the oven and started to stack cans below the cupboards they went in, fruits by the baskets on the breakfast bar, drinks on the other side of the fridge.

“Right,” Bucky said and tapped the invitation against his metal hand. “Do you think it’s really a good idea for me to go?”

Sam shot him an unamused look. “Listen, you don’t get to invite yourself to the fun parties on the water and then decide that you don’t want to sit through a long ass wedding. Besides, you’ll like the reception. Lots of dancing.”

“Sure, it’s just… I mean, they don’t know me. This is a serious moment and they’re just asking for a stranger to come sit in the audience and watch them...fucking become one under the eyes of God.”

“You’re so Catholic,” Sam snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re coming with me. I’ll be bored out of my mind if you don’t. Besides, if you don’t go, who’s gonna be the ugly, old one?”

“I hate you,” Bucky sighed.

“I know. Now go get the groceries before the bread gets soaked.”

Bucky had been promised dancing and food. But, while most of the church had cleared out for a local dancehall for the reception, Bucky found himself standing awkwardly by the altar while approximately four million pictures were snapped of the wedding party. Sam, leaning against a beautiful statue that he probably shouldn’t have been leaning against next to Bucky, was the only thing keeping Bucky from royally losing his entire mind.

He hadn’t been in a church basically since DC all those years ago. Who knew about before then. Occasionally, when he’d been on the run, he’d crept into an empty rectory to snag a few minutes of quiet where he could rest his eyes without feeling like someone was staring at him, waiting for a moment of weakness on his part. And, sure, growing up Catholic had put this indelible mark on his soul that reacted to any church, empty or not. A deep longing and belonging that he’d never been able to fully grapple with.

But empty churches where he just wanted to sleep were not the same level of overwhelming that a church in the midst of celebration was. Now, all that longing and belonging was spilling over his ribs and soaking into the rest of his body, alive and hot and so tangible he felt like he could almost reach inside himself and touch it.

He missed this.

He missed the happiness and the family and the love that he could find in the walls of a church, in the midst of a celebration. He missed being able to feel something bigger than himself.

The bride and groom hadn’t stopped smiling and laughing all afternoon, always good sports about redoing a photo or trying a new pose or bringing new people into the same picture they’d taken a thousand times already. They couldn’t take their eyes off of each other, couldn’t let go of hands or waists or cheeks.

God, Bucky missed it.

“Okay, how about something with all of the couples?” the photographer asked. “Mom, dad, get on in there. Any bridesmaids and groomsmen paired up? Alright, you go there. Sirs? Sirs?”

“Yo, Sam!” Albert called out and Bucky looked up sharply from the jostling of people in love with each other and the moment.

“I’m not here with anyone,” Sam called back.

“You’re holding your date’s hand?” the photographer said, clearly unsure of what was before her own eyes now.

Sam and Bucky both looked down at their interlocked fingers, hands pressed between their thighs, and then jumped apart with muttered apologies.

“Uh. We’re not. We’re not.” What a stupid thing to have to say after everyone had just seen them. “We’re not together,” Bucky finally got out.

Stephanie frowned deeply for the first time all afternoon, a scheming furrow appearing between her eyebrows.

“Alright… Well then, is that everyone? Okay, cheese it up hard…”

The pictures continued.

“Sorry again,” Bucky said a while later while he and Sam stood shoulder to shoulder in the church’s small bathroom, both looking at their own reflections while they washed their hands.

“Nah, it’s fine. I probably just kept shifting closer to you,” Sam said and there was a strain in his voice that Bucky couldn’t quite place. He didn’t think he’d heard it before. Not on Sam.

“Sometimes I kind of tune out what that arm’s feeling,” he said. “There’s- a lot of nerve activity, y’know. I didn’t notice I’d grabbed you.”

“It was the moment,” Sam agreed. “We were watching a bunch of other people hold hands and shit.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. He shook water off of his fingers and then wiped his hands on his slacks. “Can we go eat now?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, nodding quickly. “Let’s get outta here. I’m sure other people are waiting.”

The dancehall was dim, lit up only with white string lights draped over the rafters and around the tables and columns. It smelt heavenly, a mix of well cooked food and an open bar and desserts that Bucky couldn’t even name. Sam grabbed Bucky’s wrist--this time he felt it--and pulled him through the crowds lingering at the dance floor’s edge. He gave as short answers as was possible to stay polite until they got to the food.

Sarah was waiting for them.

“What took you two so long?” she asked. “I’ve had to fend off a dozen people looking for Captain America.”

“You will not believe what happened to us at the church,” Sam said, loading up a plate with more food than Bucky felt comfortable taking. It was fine because Sam was making Bucky a plate too and they were pretty similar in portion size.

“Oh, yes I will,” Sarah said. “Stephanie told me all about it.”

“What? How did she beat us here? We got in our car first.”

“Why did you two lie to that poor photographer?” Sarah asked.

Bucky looked up with a meringue half in his mouth. “We didn’t? She made the assumption herself.”

“You said you weren’t together,” Sarah clarified. “Why are you playing coy with me?”

“We’re not together,” Sam insisted for the second time that day. Bucky ignored the cinch of his heart and grabbed a brownie to add to Sam’s precarious stack of food.

Sarah brought two fingers up to the bridge of her nose. “Samuel Thomas,” she said and Sam squawked out an indignant sound.

“Don’t say my name like that. You sound just like mom.”

“You’re lucky it’s me and not mom listening to you lie to yourself.”

Sam was about to argue with her, Bucky could tell, when the plate in his hand suddenly tipped. Bucky’s hand shot out to steady it, fingers sliding over Sam’s to hold it still, wait for the food to stop moving before adjusting their hands under it to continue carrying it.

Sarah shot them a very pointed look. “Cass and AJ are holding our table down and Mrs. Reynolds has already said she wants at least two dances from you,” she said to Sam.

“Yes, ma’am,” Sam said, just a little sarcastically. “Come on, Buck. And grab an extra roll. AJ’s gonna take all the good desserts if we don’t distract him.”

Sam did far more dancing than Bucky did. Just about all night, he had someone on his arm, cutting in, or pulling him back to the floor. Between everyone at their table, they cleared the plates Sam had made but Bucky didn’t think Sam had had half of what he wanted. He made sure to collect another plate when he was sure everyone had had a chance to eat and kept it safe at his side, even with AJ curled up in his lap, snoozing against his metal shoulder soundly. True, most kids couldn’t eat while they were asleep but after watching him put away way more carbs and sugar than Bucky thought should be possible, he wasn’t putting anything past the kid.

When Sam managed to drag himself away from all of his fans for the sixth time that night, and when he shot Bucky a curious but pleased glance between AJ and his shoulder, Bucky just said, “Sugar crash,” and pushed the plate of food over to Sam with the arm not currently holding AJ in place.

Possibly, AJ got his appetite from his uncle if the way Sam dug in was anything to go by. “Jesus, man, breathe,” Bucky laughed and passed over the bottle of beer he’d been nursing most of the last hour.

“Thanks. I forgot how much a full night of dancing takes out of you. Not as young as I used to be, y’know,” Sam said and took a long pull from Bucky’s drink.

“You literally moved a boulder off a road yesterday,” Bucky pointed out.

“I only had to do that once and I had the jetpack. I’ll tell you, my feet wish I had the wings about now,” Sam answered. He put away a roll and one of the sweets Bucky didn’t know before finally sitting back a little, forearms rested on the tables. He’d discarded his jacket after the fourth or so dance and at some point he’d rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbows. That, plus the brown suspenders over his light blue shirt had him looking like a hundred old memories in Bucky’s mind.

“AJ and I filmed you a few times,” Bucky said to distract himself from the sweat cooling on Sam’s forearms. He brought his phone out and left it on the table as it played a video. Sam leaned forward and then laughed.

“Oh, you liked that one, huh?” he asked.

“Nah, that was AJ’s choice. I liked this one,” he said, swiping to the previous video.

“Of course, something more lindy-hop,” Sam said with a nod. “That lady called me every single day after mom died, y’know. She always said it was ‘cause she missed her already and our voices were similar, but I think she was worried about me.”

“Who was this one?” Bucky asked, flipping through a few more clips.

“Oh, shit,” Sam laughed. “I can’t believe you recorded that. We went to the prom together junior year. Her dad hated me. He’d probably hate that this video exists.”

“Captain America couldn’t even clear the bad blood?” Bucky joked.

“Hell no. Prom night, he busted into the living room after the dance thinking he was gonna catch us in some act but we were just watching movies. It was never like that with us, but you couldn't convince him.”

Bucky flipped to another video. “Her son joined up with me but ended up dropping out and going Navy instead. - She was my first boss. - I played baseball with that guy and he came out a few months after we graduated. - I dated her daughter very briefly. - That’s the daughter and the little one is her daughter. - That’s my favorite teacher’s son. He just wanted to say hi from his mom.”

“Hey, what are you looking at?” AJ asked groggily suddenly. He leaned over the table, small hand coming to rest where, once again, Sam and Bucky’s had drifted together on the other side of the phone. This time they couldn’t jump apart.

“Uncle Sam, Uncle Bucky danced with my teacher and she said he had the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen,” Cass shouted as he came bounding back to the table with Sarah in tow behind him. Bucky had seen her dance with a handsome man for three dances in a row so if she cut any new knowing looks at where their hands were being held hostage, he had some retaliation this time.

Bucky finally let Sam drag him out to the middle of the dancefloor just as things were beginning to wind down. Many guests had already left for the evening, catering had cleared out the food, though Sam and AJ really did their part in making sure there was no bread left for them to clean, and the band had packed up and left a local DJ to close out the night.

This time, Bucky was more than aware of his hand sliding into Sam’s, his metal hand settling against Sam’s shoulder, thumb brushing over the strap of his suspenders. Sam’s other hand was warm and welcome against his hip. Bucky couldn’t help but step closer to him as they swayed to the slow song.

“You were really good with all the kids all night,” Sam said. “I saw them dogpile you earlier.”

“Kids like me,” Bucky said with a shrug. “Entertaining them was my job at weddings back when too. All those nights of dancing and I never got to show off at family functions,” he joked.

“You showed off plenty. I think it’s gonna be you Mrs. Reynolds asks for next time someone gets married. Hell, maybe she’ll be marrying you.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head. “Hey, she’s got spirit. I think if we’d gone a few more dances, she might’ve found one I didn’t know.”

“Well, it was a jazz band. Can’t blame you for not keeping up when you didn’t grow up with good music.”

“We had jazz,” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes. “It was nice, getting to see more of your life.”

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah, it was nice stepping back in time a little bit, getting to see how everyone’s grown up.”

“You’re so loved here. Not Captain America. Sam Wilson. People adore you.”

Sam ducked his head shyly and Bucky reached up to catch a knuckle under his chin. The music had stopped and their feet must’ve realized it before their brains because they weren’t dancing anymore either.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Sammy,” someone called from across the room. Bucky recognized the groom’s voice. “You haven’t let go of his hand all night. Just kiss him already.”

Sam and Bucky both looked down at their tangled fingers and let out a little laugh. “Well, if it’s what your fans want…” Bucky suggested.

“Shut up, man,” Sam laughed and leaned forward to kiss him.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier #writing #i answer things

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shihalyfie · 3 years

Text

“I know it has its problems, but...“

Since we’re at a whole 21 years since the series first aired, I think it’s about time we address this, but: as a 02 fan, I would like to ask other 02 fans that we stop saying this.

It’s no secret that if you’re a 02 fan, you’re probably used to hearing the fanbase constantly trash-talk it for various reasons, ranging from petty things like the infamous over-pedestaling of Adventure, to more substantial criticisms of its writing. Generally speaking, you’ll hear complaints like: the characters are underdeveloped, the plot doesn’t make sense, et cetera. Quite understandably, 02 fans don’t usually have the energy to argue back about it, and tend to preface discussions of liking the series with things like “I know it has its problems, but...” so they can preliminarily get people off their back and stave off the “you like 02? But it’s so bad!” lashback before it happens.

The problem is that I think this constant reinforcement of “yeah I acknowledge it had its problems” -- as in, without even being prompted and being said solely as a way to “justify” your like of the series -- has actually made the problem unnecessarily worse, in that it validates people’s assertions that 02 was a bad series and that everyone who likes it only likes it "because they do”, and not because there were things that spoke to them about it. It’s one thing if 02 criticisms are being brought up in a context where criticism is actually appropriate, or if a fan actually is in the mood to vent about the problems, but if we’re just talking about a context where being critical contributes nothing productive to the discussion, there’s not a lot of good that can come from constantly “admitting” that it has problems at a time like that, because it just continues enabling the idea of the series remaining in public memory with the stigma associated with it by default. In effect, it’s led to this “brainwashing” phenomenon where mantras like “the 02 characters didn’t get any development” are repeated and merged into public memory like they’re law, and because people don’t question it, it ends up getting passed around further, and reinforced even more, and the cycle continues.

Part of the reason I’ve been writing so much for this blog is that I feel like this series is very misunderstood, especially in terms of the idea they did get character development and that a lot of the plot beats make more sense when you think of them more from a thematic and emotional point of view than an adventure-and-action story point of view, and that perhaps the real issue was more that they were too subtle in communicating those things, so they often went over the audience’s heads. Intrinsically, I think a lot of 02 fans actually do understand that these elements were present, even if they can’t vocalize it -- that’s why we as fans gravitated towards the series, after all -- but because it’s too exhausting to argue back about it, it’s easier to just “agree” that there were serious problems and act like the series is some kind of guilty pleasure.

It’s true that 02 does have a lot of issues in its writing, but so does every other Digimon series, and so does every other series or piece of media in this world, and it’s not like you have to preface talking about all of the other things you like with “I know it has its problems, but...”, right? There’s a whole theory about media being able to still hit emotionally even when its plot writing is sloppy, of which 02 is not the first and most certainly is not the last of. This is especially because I think, in modern years, as more people have gained an adult’s perspective and are able to pick up on all of the things that went over their heads when they first watched it as kids, people are starting to retroactively understand that there was something in it that was special, despite everything else about it. (There have certainly been multiple testimonies from people who have said that, upon rewatching, they’ve come to understand the heavy thematic importance of what it was trying to say.)

This does not mean that I think everyone should like the series, or that it’s unreasonable that people will dislike it. If it is true that it didn’t communicate its intent well, that’s an issue in itself, and I don’t think people should be obligated to rewatch things they’re not interested in, much less try and pick it apart with a pair of tweezers. If it didn’t sit with them, then it didn’t. But if you look at staff interviews and testimony about 02 and all of the thought that went behind its lore and storytelling, there’s more than enough evidence that the creators of the series put a ton of thought and care into what they wanted to say, even if it wasn’t fully communicated, and a lot of people like 02 no matter how many of its detractors want to claim that it’s disposable (the reception to the 02 characters in Kizuna should demonstrate that more than well enough), and it’s most likely because people were able to catch onto that -- so it pains me to see it so easily dismissed and equated with being “the bad guilty pleasure series” just because the mantra of it being “bad” has been taken for granted.

And, for goodness’s sake, it’s been more than 20 years, and this is a series that was inherently about the unhealthiness of drowning in regrets of “it should have been like this” or whatnot instead of thinking productively about what it did provide and moving forward with it. There’s definitely a time to bring up criticisms when they’re relevant to the discussion, but there are also times when it’s simply not necessary and doesn’t help anything at all. Is an anniversary fanart meant to wax positively about what this series means to the artist really a place to be putting a disclaimer about the series’s writing problems like it’s some kind of review blog?

All I’m asking is, basically, that people who like 02 be a bit more unapologetic about liking it. If someone gives you grief for liking it like it’s some kind of sin, that’s their problem for being an insensitive jerk and denying your right to have preferences, not on you for liking something “bad”. And if someone does have more thoughtful criticisms that you happen to disagree with, there’s no problem in actually declaring that you disagree with those criticisms -- this is easier said than done because of how exhausting it is to fight against such a reinforced mantra like this, but at the very least, you can say that you respectfully disagree with those criticisms instead of “caving” to it just because the fanbase treats it as law. I’ve written my meta mainly because I understand that this series can be frustratingly obtuse, and putting it in easy-to-understand words that people can pass around will instigate proper discussion of the series (especially in regards to the characters, whom I feel are much more complex than they’re given credit for), but it doesn’t even really have to be my meta, since it’s only my way of seeing it and I’m sure others may see it differently. I do it because I hope it’s helpful, but I’d honestly be happy as long as 02 fans (and even possibly not-quite-fans but still open-minded people) would at least be willing to engage in thoughtful discussion about whether all of the stuff the fanbase has been saying ad nauseam for two decades is actually true, or whether there’s more to it beyond the surface.

I don’t expect this single Tumblr post, or even all of my meta, to end up having that huge of an impact against the decades of fanbase echo chambering, but I would appreciate it if 02 fans reading this could take this to heart, encourage other 02 fans they know to do the same, and, most importantly, feel a little less ashamed about liking this series.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02

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ihopethisendswell · 3 years

Text

The thing about the CW PPG reboot that bugs me so much is that I actually grew up with PPG. Both the og AND the anime. Like this specific show was my childhood. I can't really say that with Winx club( eventhough there was a period where I had an obsession with Musa and Aisha), or DuckTales ( even though I personally think the reboot is really good. It actually introduced me to the series.) The only reboot I would say that I had a personal connection to was Teen Titans Go.( The source material not the ttg)

Which side note, I wish the CN advertise this as a parody, cause they are basically dumbing down these complex characters into a base form and shoving them into a comical......"comical" setting. That's a parody, NOT a reboot. Maybe the reception of the show would have been better if the audience was made to believe from the start that this wasn't the teen Titans they grew up with. Better address it now, than have them realize later when watching the show. Also I'd watch the og TT any day. That was my childhood.

Anyway, back to PPG. My biggest grip with the script is that it seems.... unnatural????? To both the girls and actual people????? Now, I might have to read the script again ( yay me) but it all just seem to stiff. I'm not sure if people will actually say that.

Also, it just seems mean to the bunch of fanartist and fanfic writers who actually wrote/ drew the girls with a similar concept to the CW reboot, or to the people genuinely excited for the girls to go live action ( and if that's you I'm so so sorry).

But yeah. I needed to rant. Sorry if this comes off as a mess, but the CW reboot is a mess, so it's appropriate.

Final thoughts: Don't fucking turn cartoon/ animated properties into live action you idiots. ( Unless you know what your doing, which these guys do not).

#ppg #cw powerpuff girls #powerpuff girls #teen titans #teen titans go #i have characters based off the og girls actually #this feels like a slap to the face for that

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ficcrimes · 3 years

Text

cut the cackle

Fandom: Helluva Boss Characters: Blitzo, Stolas Ship: Stolas / Blitzo A/N: while I participated in kinktober last year, I never got around to doing all the prompts. I had Stolitz down for ‘facefucking’, and I guess here it is now. Better late than never. also includes: voice k*nk, horn-play and the creative use of a tail. Originally posted over on my kofi (members get early access)! Summary: Stolas gets Blitz to shut up in the most pleasurable way possible. (aka The One Where Stolas Tops.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blitz is a talker.

He always has been, and he always will be. He knows how to talk his way in and out of most things, and how to twist and craft words into perfect distractions. However, sometimes he talks just to talk and doesn’t quite know when to stop.

One offhanded comment or another had somehow turned into a full blown rave about work, and it’s not his fault the nerve happened to be struck right before he’d been about to go down on Stolas.

There was something to be said about the adoring patience Stolas regards him with for the first five minutes or so. Red eyes are focused on him as he kneels between Stolas’ legs, and it does nothing but encourage him to keep talking despite the task at hand. An attentive and receptive audience always has.

But even Stolas’ patience can only be worn so thin, he supposes, because a finger is soon pressed gently to his lips to shush him. He quiets down, then leans away from the touch after nipping Stolas’ finger.

Feathers ruffled, Stolas clears his throat before speaking.

“While I do love the sound of your voice, I’d much rather you put that mouth of yours to better use for the time being.” There’s a coy lilt to his voice, and Blitz watches as he catches the bottom portion of his bill against the upper in a mockery of a lip caught between teeth.

With his attention refocused, Blitz grins back at him. His hands find Stolas’ thighs and he squeezes gently.

“Oh, yeah?” He leans forward just a little and licks his teeth. Momentarily, he allows himself to enjoy the glowing blush that comes over Stolas’ face. “Ask me for it real nice, Princess.”

Stolas chuckles softly. He lifts one hand toward Blitz’s face again. He strokes his knuckles over the white of Blitz’s cheek before reaching for one horn.

“Oh, darling. You misunderstand,” he says, and his grip on that horn is sudden and surprisingly tight.

“I’m not asking.”

Blitz only has a moment to glimpse the grin that spreads across Stolas’ face before he’s being shoved downward with frightening ease. He forgets, sometimes, that there is so much more to Stolas than what he’s used to interacting with and seeing. But the strength used to push him face-first into damp crotch-feathers is a sobering reminder.

It makes his dick throb to think about it. Not that he has too much time to dwell on the thought before Stolas is grabbing at his other horn and pressing himself toward his mouth. If he had been in Stolas’ company for any reason but this tonight, he may have put up some resistance. But as things are, he readjusts himself and forces Stolas’ thighs apart so he can lean in toward him properly.

Stolas’ sex is strange but Blitz knows his way around it by now. He knows just where to touch and kiss and lick to get the prince to open up. Stolas is already practically dripping, and so it’s no surprise that it only takes a few kisses and swipes of Blitz’s tongue to get his vent exposed.

Blitz’s warm tongue on the exposed flesh makes Stolas grip his horns tighter, and that makes Blitz groan in response. Stolas squeezes at them, tugging Blitz forward as he juts his hips outward and begins to rock. Blitz lazily meets each thrust of Stolas’ hips with his tongue and teeth while working to get his hands up on Stolas’ hips instead. Once he has a hold of them, there’s no shame or hesitance in digging his claws in, guiding each desperate thrust against his mouth.

It takes a little work, but soon enough he’s able to get his tongue inside, and Stolas’ back arches the moment he does. He moans and coos delightedly, thighs coming together on either side of Blitz’s head. Long legs hook together at the ankles behind Blitz, calves pressed down against his back.

Blitz finds himself groaning against Stolas. Contract aside, there’s no denying that everything combined here - the way Stolas is tugging at and holding onto his horns, the way he tastes and smells, the way his trembling legs are locked together so tight against Blitz’s smaller body, the way he’s moving and the way he sounds - is getting to him, too.

He lifts his gaze to watch Stolas’ chest heaving, his face contorted into unabashed pleasure. He can feel himself blushing, but decides instead to focus on the throbbing between his legs. Leaving his hands on Stolas’ hips, he uses his own tail, wrapping it snug around his dick.

He rolls his own hips to the best of his ability with Stolas’ legs against his back, moving his own tail against himself. He’d much rather get it inside the prince, but judging from the grip Stolas has on him, that’s not going to happen until Stolas is finished here. And that’s fine, he can wait until then; it’s not like Stolas is ever finished after one orgasm, anyway.

Stolas’ legs suddenly tighten against Blitz’s back, and Blitz knows it won’t be much longer. He lets go of Stolas’ hips only so he can hold on to his thighs again and use his thumbs to open him up more. A quick glance at what he’s working with, and Stolas is flushed a deep pink and slick with fluids. The sight alone makes his own breath hitch, and his tail squeezes at his dick.

Stolas’ doesn’t allow him too long of a look, desperately shoving his face back down toward his opening. This time Blitz meets it eagerly, tongue and teeth at the ready. He takes Stolas’ mound into his mouth and plunges his tongue back inside. Teeth scrape and pinch at the flesh there, tugging feathers free at the same time.

And that’s all Stolas needs. He thrusts his hips forward hard and arches his back, shamelessly crying Blitz’s name out loudly.

Blitz moans around him, into him, licking a little gentler at his insides until he’s allowed to pull away. When Stolas’ legs finally fall slack on either side of him, and the grip on his horns turns into a much softer caress, he finally pulls away.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, spitting feathers afterward. Stolas grins at him lazily, chuckling to himself.

“That was incredible, Blitzy,” he says.

“Yeah, yeah,” Blitz replies, gradually beginning to crawl his way up the length of Stolas’ body. Stolas doesn’t mind, and in fact welcomes Blitz’s weight when he drops down to straddle his chest.

Then his gaze drops from Blitz’s face down to his dick, flushed and dripping and still wrapped up in his tail.

Blitz doesn’t give him time to look up again, grabbing at a tuft of feathers at the back of his head and holding him in place. That glowing blush returns to Stolas’ face, and Blitz grins wide and sharp.

“You can thank me by returning the favor.”

#helluva boss #stolas #blitzo #stolitz

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airis-paris14 · 3 years

Text

Wonder What She Thinks Epilogue

Summary: She learns to put herself first and he loses the best thing he ever had.

A/N: A new chapter of Starlight coming up next.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

It's Never Wrong When You're In Love...

I haven’t felt this type of thing in a while. I thought I lost myself in love until I found you.

- “Natural” Sabrina Claudio

I’m telling you right now from this day on, I’ve already weighed out the pros and cons, your just the woman I want.”

-"4evermore" Anthony David (ft. Algebra)

“Mrs. Jordan,” Michael leaned over and whispered in his bride’s ear. “Yes, Mr. Jordan?” Zoe beamed as she and her new husband waited for their cue to walk into the reception party. “You look absolutely breathtaking today. Coming down that aisle I was watching you like hot damn that’s my lady,” Michael grinned as Zoe slapped his arm, laughter falling from her lips. “Shut up, you were crying too,” the bride reminded, allowing Michael to wrap his arm around her waist.

“Yeah but that was the internal monologue,” he insisted as one of the tech workers handed each of them a microphone. The intro to “4evermore” by Anthony David began to blare on the other side of the banquet hall doors. “You ready?”

Zoe nodded and took her husband's hand. The doors opened on cue and the couple walked in belting their respective parts of the song.

“Forever’s a mighty long time but I really wanna spend it with you. I shine when you shine. There's really no substitute. 4evermore,”

The two danced around each other singing along with the track. The audience joined in clapping as the newlyweds continued their performance. “I’m making my plans just to be with you. It’s you and me, babe, till the days are through, And I ain’t ashamed, love, to say I do,” Michael crooned

They went through the chorus again before Zoe got her chance to shine, consequently surprising the guests who’d never heard her sing, “Pick a tree to carve our names, let the world know it’s not a game. Last longer than a wedding ring, generations tattooed with the love we bring. From the seeds we sow, to the time it takes to grow. Long enough to show you, I won’t let go of you. Without you, I'm incomplete, like this love song without this beat. I’m saying you are the man I need,” Zoe sang causing the crowd to erupt in cheers.

“I didn’t know Zoe could sing,” Shuri leaned over to her brother who was carrying both of his children in his arms. “She doesn’t often, but she’s great,” he nodded, trying to stop the regret flooding through his veins by bouncing his fussy two, almost, three-year-olds. He watched as their mother spun and sang with her husband. A man that wasn’t him. A man who was making her laugh and having fun on the dance floor as Camden started the rap verse in the song. His attention was then pulled to Nakia, as she laughed and danced on the sidelines of the dance floor cheering on Zoe and Michael with the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for the new Mr. And Mrs. Michael B. Jordan. That was the best wedding entrance I’ve ever seen,” the DJ announced as the crowd began settling back in their seats. Zoe-Iman laughed as Michael handed over their mics and pulled her in close for their first dance. “I’m serious, who giving the new Mrs. Jordan a record deal, cause sis got some mad pipes. I know all this money in here, there’s gotta be a music exec looking for fresh talent. But, imma get off my soapbox so this new union can enjoy their first dance as husband and wife.”

Soon, “Butterflies Pt.2” by Queen Naija was drifting from the speakers as Michael gently swayed with his new wife, the couple singing along softly to each other. “You going to ask Nakia to dance?” Shuri caught her brother’s attention as she grabbed her niece from his arms. Not wanting to be left behind, Meluzmi began wriggling from his father’s arms to get down to the floor with his sister. “I don’t think Nakia wants to talk to me.” The king glanced again at his ex-wife dancing with Camden. “Nonsense, you all were friends first,” Ramonda interrupted, stooping to kiss both of her grandchildren. “That is why your father, and hers, thought you would make a great match.”

“You all are running the country well together, for over a year now.” Shuri pointed out smiling as the toddlers began bopping along to the song with each other. “Business conversations do not mean she will want to dance with me. Besides, she seems like she is having a good time with Camden.”

Shuri shook her head, “I’m taking the twins to dance, Mama, do something with him please,” the now 19-year old shook her head and headed towards the floor as the song shifted, signaling that other couples could join the wedding party on the floor. “Dance with me,” Ramonda extended a hand and the son turned king accepted and escorted her onto the floor.

“You know,” the queen mother started a few seconds later, “the first time you brought Zoe home, I was sure that within a year or two, you’d be telling your father you wanted to marry her.”

T’Challa smiled, “I was that obvious?”

Ramonda chuckled, “Painfully. You were looking at her like a lovesick fool the whole time she was there. Your father tried several times to give you his permission to date him. Even blatantly asking if you all were dating, but you were so stubborn.”

T’Challa looked away and swallowed, “It was not my finest hour and it will forever remain one of my biggest regrets, but I am happy for her.”

“You are, but you are also jealous. Zoe gave you plenty of chances, she even bore your children T’Challa but you were so stubborn, you lost your chance. Now that she’s happy, you should try to find happiness of your own. If not with Nakia, try again with someone. Don’t spend your life believing these were the only two women who could ever have been a great wife. Zoe found her happiness, Nakia is working on hers, it’s time you find your own.”

“Umama-” the king started. “Happiness outside of your children T’Challa, you need adult company too. Company you actually like, the elders don’t count.”

The king sighed and glanced across the room, “I’d like to try again, but I fear I will always wonder what Nakia and Zoe think of her.”

“That is your problem, you always wonder what everyone else is thinking, son.”

“You loved Zoe, but you were so afraid that we would hate her, you hid her and lost her. You had feelings for Nakia, but you wondered what she would think about what you had done to Zoe, so you pushed her away. Stop wondering what one girl will think about the other. Find your happiness, then bring her around. You always attract wonderful people, and we all always love each other. Think about it son, who else’s ex-wife is good friends with the woman her husband was cheating and had children with?”

Ramonda laughed, watching Zoe and Nakia dance with the rest of the wedding party. The king joined in chuckling as his mother continued, “Stop pitting the women against each other before they can even meet. Just let yourself fall in love freely son. We just want you to be happy.”

Zoe instinctively held her head further back as a smirk crossed her new husband’s lips. “Now, Michael, this is a very expensive white dress-”

“And you look beautiful baby-,” he raised his hand with a piece of cake in it closer to Zoe’s face. “Michael,” Zoe whined as his smirk turned into a full-on grin, “What? I’m just trying to feed my beautiful wife.”

“No, you are not!” Zoe laughed and dodged Michael’s hand, “I don’t wanna ruin my makeup, I paid a lot for it,” the bride pouted. “Fine,” the groom sighed, “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Thank you,” Zoe beamed and allowed him to feed her the piece of cake, she leaned in, kissed his lips, and smashed the piece of cake and icing onto his face, “Gotcha,” she cackled as Michael wiped icing from his mouth. The guests doubled over in laughter as he wrapped a giggling Zoe up in his arms and shook her. “You play dirty,” he laughed. “Mama!” two voices cried out as Ka’aulani and Meluzmi ran to their mom and stepfather. “Cake,” Meluzmi pleaded and his twin nodded her head in agreement. “Okay baby, “Zoe smiled. Michael cut them two small pieces and handed Zoe a plate. The caterers took over cutting up the rest of the large cake for the couple as they led their children over to the main table.

Michael took his self-proclaimed best friend Meluzmi in his lap and let him try and figure out how to spear the soft pieces of dessert, before eventually helping him out. Not wanting her daughter to ruin her dress or hair, Zoe still couldn't understand how so much of the toddler’s meals ended up in her curls, the mother alternated between feeding the toddler and herself. The small family sat sharing cake in silence, bobbing softly to the beat of Kiss Me More while watching their guests tear it up on the dance floor and fight over pieces of cake. “There you two are!” Shuri sighed obviously frustrated, “ T’Challa is gonna kill me, he wanted me to keep them so you could enjoy yourself.”

“Girl,” Zoe dismissed. “He will be fine. My babies just wanted some cake and their mommy.”

On cue, the twins giggled. “Are you having fun?”

Shuri shrugged, I’m just glad to see you happy,” The teen admitted. “Yeah but you’re young, you should be out dancing, and not with two-year-olds.”

“I got a cousin, he’s 20, but I think y’all get along great,” Michael grinned and called the boy over. As predicted he and Shuri hit it off and as the party forged ahead, the couple saw the two dancing and shared a fist bump. “We’re definitely the matchmaking couple,” Zoe beamed.

As the party began to wind down hours later, T’Challa approached the couple for the second time that day and cleared his throat. “My mother and I were about to leave, I was gonna take the twins,” the king gestured towards the children sleeping peacefully, each spread over two chairs pushed together. “Oh okay, thank you for coming and babysitting,” Zoe Iman Jordan hugged her former best friend, ex-lover, and the father of her children, “I’m gonna go say goodnight to mama,” she squeezed Michael’s hand before leaving in search of the older matriarch. “I’ll help you grab the kids, '' Michael broke the silence.

T’Challa nodded and they grabbed the slobbering children from their makeshift beds and headed out of the venue to the cars. Once both twins were buckled, they leaned against the car awaiting the women’s arrival. “Michael thank you.”

“For what?” The actor turned to the monarch. “For loving Zoe and for bringing the light back to her life. For taking care of her and loving my children as your own, even when I wasn’t man enough to do the same.”

Michael nodded, “You know for the longest I hated you. I didn’t understand how one man could be so self-involved he couldn’t see how amazing of a woman he had right in his hand. I hated that you messed with Zoe’s head, made her second guess herself. Then I finally got her to a good place, she opened up, we were having a good time, then she found out she was pregnant. You wouldn’t even text her back about your own kids.” T’Challa nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, “If I could do it all again, I would do it differently believe me.”

I know,” the groom agreed, “but everything happens for a reason. I don’t approve of what you did, but if you had been a good partner, I probably wouldn’t be married to the love of my life right now. So I forgive you. And those kids, they are like my own. I am beyond glad that you’ve stepped up for them. I want them to have their father and a bonus father in their lives. You stay involved and love them, then there are no hard feelings between us.” The acclaimed actor extended a hand and T’Challa accepted his handshake. “You have my word, I’m never leaving them again.”

“Good.” Michael leaned back against the car and crossed his legs, hands stuffed in his tuxedo pockets. “So what’s next for you?” He asked a few beats later.

T’Challa exhaled, “I’m not sure, but I do know I wanna get my life back on track. Find someone and treat her right.”

“Then you do that man,” they stood up off of the car as Ramonda approached. “I just wonder what she’ll think of this family. It’s all a little bizarre isn’t it?”

“Yeah most baby mamas and ex-wives aren’t best friends, especially under our circumstances, but if she loves you and you love her, there’ll always be room in the family.”

“I appreciate that Michael.”

“Shuri staying with Nakia?” The actor asked when the queen mother reached the car. “Yes, she and your cousin have taken quite a liking to each other,” Ramonda raised an eyebrow. “You know me and Zoe will watch out for her,” Michael reassured. “I know, that is the only reason I’m letting her stay,” Ramonda answered.

“We’ll get her back to you safely later tonight. I promise,” The actor shoved his hands in his pocket and stepped back. “I guess we better get going then-”

“Wait,” Zoe walked out of the venue over to the car. “I didn’t get to kiss my babies goodbye,” the mother pouted. Michael laughed as T’Challa rolled his eyes. “Boy, don’t roll your eyes at me before they get stuck like that.” She slapped his chest before opening the car doors and kissing both of her toddlers.”

“Okay, we will swing by to pick them up after we get back. And you have everything packed for them right? You have Meluzmi’s inhaler, and enough clothes and replacement outfits? You got the earplugs too right? They hate heights and the sounds of the plane's engines when-”

“Zoe they will be fine. T’Challa reassured. “And if I don’t have it, you know my mother will make sure they get it. They will be fine. I can do this,” The king grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them gently. “I know, I know,” the young mother sighed, “This is just the longest I have been away from them ever and I’m nervous.” Michael moved up to wrap an arm around his wife’s waist and press a kiss to her forehead. “ Everything will be fine,” he soothed. “I know-”

“Then stop worrying,” T’Challa offered a sad smile, “You deserve this, to be happy, to have a break, to enjoy your honeymoon. You are an excellent mother Zoe, but they have a father too. So enjoy your break, enjoy your marriage. I promise they will be just as alive and happy as they are now when you get back from your trip.”

Zoe nodded and sighed, finally stepping back from the car with Michael at her side. “Okay, see you in three weeks. Thank you all again.”

“Anytime, you know I love my grandbabies.” Ramonda hugged the bride once more before closing the door facing the twins and taking a seat in the backseat next to them. “Ayy, Mike, it’s almost time for the garter toss,” Two of the groomsmen waved the couple over but T’Challa reached for Zoe’s hand. “Can we talk?”

Zoe nodded at her husband letting him know she was okay, he looked the king over once more before heading inside to watch from the doorway. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted you to know that you were right.”

“About what?” the bride squinted. “About deserving to be with someone who can say they love you in and out of the bedroom. You deserve someone who loves you out loud, and I’m glad you found it in Michael.”

Zoe smiled softly, “Thank you. I hope you find the same for yourself. We both deserve someone.”

“I think I already did but I kind of fucked it up...twice,” the king chuckled. “I’ll keep you updated on that front though.”

Zoe Iman nodded. T’Challa gestured to the doorway, “I think you better go though, your husband hasn’t stopped watching.” Zoe laughed, glancing over her shoulder at Michael who was, sure enough, watching from the door. “Yeah... Goodbye T’Challa.” Zoe pulled the king in for a hug before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Goodbye, Zoe… I love you,” he sighed once she had walked off out of earshot.

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some-dr-writings · 3 years

Text

Korekiyo, Rantaro and Nagito x SHSL Scam Artist who gets attached to people easily

Korekiyo Shinguji:

· Upon entering the room Kiyo found you face flat on your desk, the only light illuminating you the single lamp beside you. “Did the plan not follow through? One of your partners abandoned the project?” “no.” “… You got the money but got attached to the owner?” “We got the money, but I got attached to the owner.” Kiyo stood beside you, placing a hand on your back, gently rubbing it. “Well, many consider casinos to be scams so you just out scamed a scam.” “Yeah… but the owner turned out to be a chill person, they just acted like an asshole for a front.” “… It’s also but a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of their wealth.” “I know… but I still lied to them.”

· This was quite strange. Yes, you did get attached to individuals rather easily, but you’d usually have picked yourself up by now and be more or less fine, yet you were still sulking. “By chance, is anything else the matter?” You were silent for a moment. “If I had successfully sold you those fake artifacts when we first met, would you like me, like you do now?” “Ah, I see.” He traced circled and other shapes on our back mindlessly as he thought about it. “I would more so be frustrated with myself for getting tricked like that, then like before I believe you would have intrigued me, and we’d end in a place similar to this.” “So, you don’t resent me for that?” “No, I love you just as you are. No matter what sort of trickery you pull, from false items to rigged matches or even fake betting pools, your profession does not define you. To me, you are a doting partner, one who loves to love people, see things others often overlook and use it to your advantage. You follow through on your plans even when it hurts, you are dedicated to your craft, something I find beautiful and admirable.”

· “S-stop, you’re gonna make me blush.” “Oh?” Before you could have stopped yourself those words slipped out. Immediately you stood up and began to march away. “I love you.” “Kiyo, please-” “I love you.” “No-” “I love you so much.” “Stop it!” “Y/N, you are the most beautiful person in this whole world.” “Enough already!” Kiyo chuckled seeing how flustered you were getting, burying your embarrassed face in your hands as you walked away, Kiyo following closely continuing with the compliments and sweet nothings.

Rantaro Amami:

· “I’m back.” “Good, did everything turn out well? Did the police get involved?” “No, no, we’re all fine. We had several assurances in place making sure the police wouldn’t get involved. The best one being if the police were called, that whole scam they set up would be revealed, so try and catch us for a little money or call the police and lose everything. The choice is rather obvious; besides, it’s not much compared to everything else they have. The worst we did was hurt their pride.”

· Rantaro always was rather calm, but you could read his emotions from little things like a flicker of the eyes. He was much more reassured after that, though still a little worried. It only made sense, since he wasn’t a part of the plan you couldn’t risk telling him about it, so you could only give some details now. At least he wasn’t completely in the dark now.

· “What about the money? How are you going to hied it?” “Well… I may have, sort of…” You sat beside him on the couch, him immediately holding you close. “… split my cut with the others.” “Hmm?” You snuggled up to him, leaning into his touch. “My partners in this caper… Honestly they could use the money more than me. Obviously, I still got some, but not enough to be noticeable by the banks or others. We may lie and practically steal, but they’re good people, and they worked hard, and… well… I’d like to work with them again, so I just wanted them to get away with a little more. I know you can’t get risk getting caught so you couldn’t join us, but I wish you could. I think you’d like them.”

· Rantaro simply hugged you closely and smiled. “At least you’re making friends it seems.” “Yeah, I guess I am.”

· Yeah, what you said could certainly be true of you too, Rantaro thought. Though you could be considered a thief and a liar, you were kind and generous as well.

Nagito Komaeda:

· You had told Nagito to sit in the audience of the rigged racetrack and to not move and that was what he did. He sat there and simply watched as your racer zipped across the track. Nagito rather liked that he was able to help in your work, even if it was just waiting for his luck to pop up, whether it be for the better or the worse, in the end it would be alright though, you were smart, even his bad luck couldn’t hurt you. And so he simply watched as the races went on.

· Eventually during the last race Nagito received a text from an unknown number telling him to got to the reception hall. There a roof collapsed and…

· And… he was in your room? “Oh thank goodness! I thought you were dead!” “Did I help?” “Yeah… the roof collapsing was just the get away I needed. Thank you.” “Why do you look so upset then?” You huffed, strolling over to the desk at the other side of your room, looking at the documents on it. “I would have gotten caught if it wasn’t for you. I know I have you around as a back up plan, but I don’t like using it, it’s like giving up in a way, taking the cheep win.” “… With how amazing you are, I’m sure you would have found a way.” “…” You gathered the documents, holding them close to your chest as you went for the bedside table, taking the water bottle off it and handing it to Nagito. “So you’re saying I just gave up too soon. I should just ask for your help for prison breaks. That King Pin deserved a fair match of wits, not me taking out my instant win card.”

· Ah, that was it. “So you started respecting and got attached to the guy.” “… Maybe. What do you think?” “What I think?” “Yeah.” “Well…” Nagito thought for a moment. “Well… You did show him respect. You didn’t hold back in your scheming, you used everything to your advantage. It would have been more disrespectful to baby him and win when you weren’t completely trying.” “Yeah… I can see that. But still, I got you injured in the process.” After Nagito took a few sips you took the bottle back, placing it on the bed side table. As you did so you leaned over, giving a kiss to his bandaged forehead. “The very least I can do in thanks for saving my butt is healing you before my next heist.” You passed Nagito one of the documents to look over before leaving.

· Even though Nagito only saw himself as a tool for you, you still cared about him. To him, you were too good for him.

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minghellafine · 3 years

Link

Full article below.

Spiral is now available on 4K UHD, Blu-ray, DVD, and digitally. The Saw spin-off stars Chris Rock, Samuel L. Jackson, and Max Minghella in the lead roles and is directed by Saw II-IV director Darren Lynn Bousman in his return to helming the horror series. While it exists in the Saw universe, it’s very much its own thing and provides a fresh experience.

ComingSoon Editor-in-Chief Tyler Treese spoke with Spiral star Max Minghella about the film, a possible sequel, his relationship with the Saw franchise, and much more.

Tyler Treese: I really liked Spiral and it’s this great mix of genres as you’ve got the Saw-type horror and the torture scenes, but the first half of the film is very much kind of like a buddy cop movie. Can you speak to that interesting blend of genre that we have?

Max Minghella: I was very excited when I started to realize that that’s the direction the movie was going to go in. I love buddy cop movies. I really miss movies like that. I had been craving it as a movie fan, so I was really relieved by that. And then I thought that the needle thread of the Saw franchise and the identity of that franchise into this other story was so brilliantly handled in very kind of successful, you know what I mean on the page. I can really see how this works and is very much the movie I’d go and see even if I had nothing to do with it.

You couldn’t get a better buddy cop partner than Chris Rock. He just has so much natural charisma. He’s so funny in the first 30 minutes of the film. Can you talk about your chemistry on set and how it was getting to have him as your buddy cop?

Yeah, I mean, it’s an insane privilege and he’s just somebody I love so much in every way. I love him as a actor performer. I loved him as a filmmaker and it was really fun just getting to have meaningful time with somebody you look up to so much and see how they work and pick their brain. I’m sure Chris got very bored of me badgering him with questions all the time, but I had such a good time getting to work with him. We really had fun together.

Before signing onto Spiral, were you a big fan of the Saw franchise, and what was it like coming into such an established series? It just crossed the billion dollar mark. What are the expectations of coming into a series like that?

I think it’s the first franchise thing I’ve done. I love franchises just in general. I love the concept of them. I love how they exist in film culture. I like the challenges of having to keep them alive and what’s about them and it really appeals to me. So that was just exciting, just fundamentally to be a part of a franchise, like you said, and sort of take on that responsibility, I suppose. I also love so much about the DNA of Saw movies, so I love the kind of whodunnit element of them. I love how sort of visceral it is an experience for an audience, especially when you’re watching it. It’s so fun to watch these movies with people. To answer your question about my familiarity with the franchise. I had seen several of them, but the one I’ve always loved, and I think I owned on DVD like way before being involved in this, was Saw II. I love Saw II. I’m a big twist guy, like a big twist fan, and that movie has got a great twist.

Spiral saw the return of Darren Lynn Bousman as the director. How exciting was it to get to work with him? He has helmed so many great Saw films in the past and now he gets to reinvent it here with you and Chris Rock onboard.

Yeah. It was great to have Darren back. He was such a smart choice. To have somebody who was one of the architects of the Saw aesthetic, which is a very specific aesthetic. I don’t think any other movies share this sort of visual technique. So there’s a lovely, I mean, I think the movie is a great blend of the old guard and then the new kids, you know, Chris [Rock] and Sam [Jackson] and Marisol [Nichols], myself, we’re all completely new to the franchise, but then almost everybody else involved has been there for a minute and it’s like a family, you know what I mean? It really does feel very kind of an intimate group of people and very familiar.

You grew up around movies, you’ve gotten to work with so many incredible actors, so I’m sure it’s not super often where you’re like, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m with this guy,” but Samuel L. Jackson. If that’s ever going to happen, it’s probably him. How cool was it getting to work with a legend like him and cross that off your bucket list?

It’s pretty cool and unexpected. This movie was sort of almost always a pinch yourself kind of job, to be honest. There’s very few days on set where I wasn’t like, I can’t believe I’m going to [do this]. Sam Jackson is truly one of the great actors of all time, it’s a pretty ridiculous situation to be in.

One thing I really like about your character is that he has these very valid grievances about police corruption and that’s a true-to-life issue. Spiral spotlights it, but it’s a very real issue and very timely for the society that we’re in. Did having that interesting backstory for the character really help you dive into playing this role?

I love when you have compassion for a villain. I think it’s so much more compelling than when they are impossible to relate to. So that was really important to me that when he said things. It was his own sort of mad logic to him, obviously the way that he goes about practicing his beliefs is completely wrong, but there’s something there sort of relatable I think to what he’s saying. That’s much more interesting always.

We see that in the original series with Jigsaw and Saw always had some social commentary and some interesting morality questions. Can you speak to Spiral also bringing those philosophical elements and how the series has stayed really interesting? It would have been so easy to just be leaning into just the gore element, but instead, you keep that philosophy and having the moral ambiguity.

Like you said, man, it’s so essential to the DNA of these movies. There’s John Kramer and he always had some interesting perspective on things and reasons for doing things. I think it’s essential that that sort of stays in it, even though Spiral is obviously a very different direction. I think for these movies it is its own story and its kind of its own sort of journey in a way, but there are certain things you don’t want to lose and that’s one of them. You want a compelling villain and I think compelling villains aren’t just being idiots with their point of view.

There’s not many people that can say they fought Chris Rock in a fistfight. How fun was that final fight sequence in the film, and you got the punch Chris Rock! How cool is that?

Again, man, it was all so much fun. Everything was so much fun. I just felt like a kid on the playground. It was crazy. I mean all of it’s like the stuff you sort of dream about doing as a kid. I think there’s a line in the movie where, “I started dreaming about this since I was 12 years old,” and I felt that was pretty resonant for me because I really have. I grew up with a Beverly Hills Cop poster above my bed since as long as I’ve been a conscious person. I really like movies like this where the genre movies have real stakes, but have a sense of humor and aren’t pretentious. It’s very specific to what I want to go and see.

Before we get the big reveal of yourself as the villain, we see the villain in a pig mask a lot. Was it actually you wearing the mask in those scenes?

That’s funny, man. You’re the second person to ask me that question. Yes, not always. I mean it depends on what we’re doing. But absolutely. As long as it’s not some big dangerous stunt.

There are some gruesome and really clever traps in Spiral. Did any of those stick out as a particular favorite for you and what was it like getting to see how they’re actually, with the movie magic and all that, how they’re actually concocted?

It’s dope, so cool. It’s really fun. The subway trap is my favorite. I feel it was really brilliant way into the movie, so cinematic, and that set was crazy sort of built that station. That was so cool. I felt like going to Universal’s studio tour thing. That was how I felt.

Saw fans are very passionate. How’s the reception been? You talked about this being your first franchise, how cool was it to enter that fandom?

I’ve got to say, I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t anxious before the film was released. Obviously I felt a huge amount of responsibility to the fans of these movies and didn’t want them to feel let down by the performance. I’ve been so like grateful and moved by how kind of nice that community is. I mean, nice is maybe a weak word to use, but they’re really supportive. They love these movies. They’ve been really supportive of the movie and supportive of us, the new actors, and I’m very relieved and it means a lot.

With the way the film ends, there’s obviously some unfinished business between yourself and Chris Rock’s character. Would you be interested in returning for a sequel?

For sure, if there was an appetite for us to come back. I think we both love to do another one. But we did this without any expectations of anything beyond. I think it’s a very unusual ending and also very unique and exciting one. I haven’t seen something that sort of ends with such a pronounced cliffhanger. So I’m certainly curious to know what’s gonna happen.

For your other projects, you’ve got Babylon coming up, which has just the most incredible star-studded cast. It even has Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I know. That’s cool, right?

It’s really cool. I believe filming starts on that soon. How thrilled are you to just get to work with so many talented actors on one set?

Yeah, man. Amazing. I’m a huge fan of Damien Chazelle and he’s sort of one of my sort of heroes. So I’m really looking forward to getting to be on set with him and see how he works. All of this is sort of like an education, you’re really just trying to work with people you can learn from and hopefully, we’ll make it better. I can’t think of a group of people to be around that’s more talented.

We spoke about passionate fans earlier. The Handmaid’s Tale has so many passionate watchers and Season 4 had a really shocking ending. What are you looking forward to the most in Season 5?

Season 4 is, by some pretty wide margin, my favorite season we’ve shot. I really loved the season. It’s funny because it’s an ensemble show, and as a result,I don’t know what everyone else is doing. I’m not there on set when everyone else is shooting that stuff. I play a pretty small part in the show, so when it comes out, I get to watch it like an audience member and go along for the ride. I just had such an amazing time watching it this year. I was so proud of everybody in the cast and crew. It was tough circumstances, as you can imagine, shooting during a pandemic and especially Elisabeth Moss just was incredible this year, really just took care of everyone and for it to come out as strong as it was, was really amazing. I never thought I’d be so excited to go into Season 5 of a TV show, but I get more and more excited every year as we get further into it and it just keeps staying so strong. It’s amazing. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be on a show that is that good.

It’s kind of rare to see a show building on its quality over time. Usually it peaks in Season 2 or 3, but like you said, Season 4 is the best one yet. It was very exciting as a fan to see how it’s going to continue.

Thank you. It’s amazing and that people are still watching a show and sticking with us. We are all so conscious. It’s sort of pathetic actually, whenever The Handmaid’s Tale cast talk about anything, we’re just all so conscious of how singular this experience is and how we can’t take it for granted. I think stuff like this comes along very, very rarely, and when you’re lucky enough to be a part of something that you like so much and other people seem to like.

Over the past five years, we’ve seen you find success as a screenwriter and a director as well. Working behind the camera and looking at the scenes from that different perspective, does that help your acting as well?

That’s a good question. I dunno. I don’t know if I can do anything about my acting talents, but it comes from a very simple place, man, because I just love movies so much. Just the fact that I don’t really know about anything else. Like if you asked me about where any country is on a map, I would have no idea, but I’m okay with movies. Like I kind of know movies and, and so I get impatient. I’m a bit of a workaholic and I just want to do whatever I can. So it would be on set. So we get to engage creatively and I can do it a little bit. It’s really different. Well, what I think is interesting about it is often have a day where I have to have a call maybe as a producer and then a call as a writer, then a call as a director, then a call as an actor, and each conversation I’m treated quite differently or my job is so different. Switching those hats is I think quite good and keeps you in check and keeps your feet on the ground and keeps you hungry and all that stuff. So I feel very lucky I get to do different things.

When you were growing up, one of your goals was to be a music video director. Is that something that you still want to wind up doing down the line?

I got to make a movie that I think exorcised a lot of those demons. So I have to be honest, I have less of a burning desire to sort of work in that space because I felt like I got to sort of express that part of me a little bit. That said, I love music videos. It’s one of my favorite mediums. The tricky thing, and I’m sure most people would tell you this, is that music videos have very, very limited budgets. When I was a kid, this was the year of like Francis Lawrence and Hype Williams where people were getting like $4 or $5 million to make these two-minute clips. Now when I’m sent music video stuff, it’s like the budgets are very, very limited. So you really have to be passionate about it because you’re basically going to have to spend money to make it. So to answer your question I would love to do some music videos, but I think there has to be things that I was really, really married to.

In the past decade and some change we’ve seen superhero films become all the rage. Would you be interested in those types of projects and are there any comic characters that appeal to your acting sensibilities?

I kind of like all kinds of movies. I don’t have a genr that I’m not into. Yeah, I’m totally open to that. I think as long as I felt useful ther., I mean, that’s totally how I approach everything. It’s not so much about the glamor of an opportunity so much as whether I think I could actually contribute something. If I can’t, I don’t think it’s helpful for me to do it, then nobody wins. But if there was a show that I felt like, oh, I could do this and maybe not sink the ship then for sure.

#max minghella #spiral #the handmaid's tale #spiral: from the book of saw #babylon #interviews #*

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misssophiachase · 3 years

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All You Never Say - Part 4a

Mr Mikael and Mrs Esther Mikaelson and Dr Grayson and Mrs Miranda Pierce request the pleasure of your presence at the wedding of their children:

The Hon Elijah Edward Mikaelson and Dr Katherine Elena Pierce

On the twenty-third of June, twenty-twenty one, 1400h at Ely Cathedral followed by a reception at Mikaelson Manor, Ely Cambridgeshire

Dress: White Tie

23rd June 2021, Mikaelson Manor, Ely Cambridgeshire - 8:47am

“What do you mean the beagle ate the wedding cake?” Caroline hissed, shutting the door behind her so as not to alarm the bride on her big day.

“Well, I can detail the stages of destruction, but yes, the Mikaelson's beloved pet dog decided to taste test the cake early, long story short.” Caroline was certain that the housekeeper’s use of “the Mikaelson’s beloved pet dog” was clearly by design.

Caroline was all for adorable dogs, especially those that were photogenic for the wedding album like Tully, but not those who scoffed the cake before the ceremony had even begun. Especially given that extra amount of fondant and extra tier which cost the earth.

But given the way Tully looked at her with those imploring, brown eyes and the telling evidence of frosting smeared across her chops, she was close to calling it a day.

Who needed cake anyway? It was worth way too many calories and most people would be so drunk that far into the festivities it wouldn’t even matter, right?

“So, I see you’ve met our cute but pressing problem.”

Caroline turned to see the best man in all his glory. And by that she meant those unkempt curls, sly grin and a fitted, tank top that should be illegal given those arms on display.

Was this their thing? Just running into each other partially clothed. She looked down at her ensemble self-consciously glad for the shorts, t-shirt and the Maid of Honour monogrammed robe that she greedily pulled across her chest.

“Our problem?”

“Because a problem shared is a problem halved right, wedding buddy?”

“Wedding buddy? Oh, you mean the same guy who wanted to document the lost ring for speech fodder?”

“It was a joke but clearly you don’t know what that means, grouchy.”

“Oh, like that time you let your dog, albeit cute, eat the wedding cake before the ceremony. I only hope the Bride and Groom figurines are still firmly intact at least?”

“Well, their passing was most definitely mourned,” Klaus noted. Caroline was trying to be mad, but he was doing that thing where he looked cute so as to avoid her wrath. Bastard.

“So, what you’re telling me is that we have no cake or cake topper and the wedding is due to start in 5 hours?"

“I mean there’s some cake left, albeit a mess, but if the guests want to eat it off the floor...”

“Yeah, I can see the Prime Minister doing that. You are not helping, Mikaelson. Look, I’ll call the baker, they must have a back-up cake on hand, otherwise why are we paying them such an exorbitant amount? I mean it’s a cake, like it’s hard to bake one of those,” she rambled, the reality of the situation making a sudden and ugly appearance.

“Okay, I didn’t want to tell you this because you are clearly already upset but the baker has no wedding themed alternatives,” Klaus explained, shooing away both the guilty canine and her loyal housekeeper in the process, no doubt by design. This was not the news Caroline wanted to hear and clearly he knew it.

“What?"

“You are not going to lose it, not on my watch, Forbes.”

“I am not losing it,” she hissed, finally finding her voice. “But she is your dog and that makes you responsible for my mood.”

“She is a Mikaelson, I mean expensive taste comes with the territory,” Klaus replied. Caroline, meanwhile, felt the brief spell he had over her lift.

“Can you please stop offering up annoying commentary? We have an emergency, one that needs to be rectified STAT.”

“What I didn’t get to say was that the baker has two other cakes on hand.” Caroline’s ears pricked up, maybe all wasn’t lost.

“I’m listening,” she murmured.

Klaus pulled his cell from his pocket and swiped through his phone. “These are the options.”

He leaned in closer so she could see the photos but in the process his arm grazed hers and she was momentarily blindsided and not focused on the pressing emergency. It reminded her so much of two years ago, when she’d felt his arm encircle her waist and pull her towards him.

Caroline told herself he must have been dreaming at the time but that didn’t take away from how it had felt. It felt good, really good.

“Alright, love?” She looked up into his blue eyes, only deciding too late that it was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

“I’m just shocked by...” she paused, her eyes hurriedly flickering to his cell screen. “Congratulations on your Retirement, Bernie?”

“I’m sure we can change a few letters around or something,” she gave him a look which plainly said it wasn’t going to happen. “Right, here’s the other one."

“Happy 6th Birthday to our Unicorn Princess? Don’t think Kat would mind being called a unicorn princess at all but not sure about Elijah...”

“Well, what suggestions do you have, Forbes?”

He had a point, there were none that forthcoming but then it hit her.

“The bomboniere.” Caroline was surprised she thought of it given she was so caught off guard by his close proximity and the unfolding situation.

“The what?”

“I don’t have time to explain wedding terminology right now, I have a bride to reassure that everything is peachy. Just meet me in the kitchen in twenty minutes and put some clothes on while you’re at it.”

“Only if you do,” he smirked. Caroline didn’t wait before slamming the door in his smug face.

There were so many things to reconcile with Klaus Mikaleson and not just her feelings. Last night they’d shared more than a sandwich in the kitchen and two years ago...well that was another story.

Perch, Los Angeles CA - 14 February (two and a bit years earlier)

Caroline felt like she’d finally hit rock bottom.

Not because it was Valentine’s Day.

Or that she was single.

That wasn’t the worst part of her predicament. She was currently...well, before she could lament her situation a bell rang out, breaking Caroline from her regretful thoughts. She didn’t have time to bid Phil the Chiropractor farewell because a burly looking brunette appeared immediately in his place.

“Tyler.” Apparently there was no need for an actual greeting or for Caroline to ask his name in the first place. I suppose they only had two minutes so he was getting straight to the point. Caroline couldn’t blame him given how painful this whole thing was.

Caroline was going to kill them. First Bonnie, who wanted their apartment to herself tonight so she could cook a romantic dinner for current boyfriend Jeremy. Clearly he hadn’t been present at her most horrific of food failures given they were still dating.

They’d been living together since Bonnie relocated to Los Angeles nine months earlier and Caroline was enjoying rooming with her best friend again after so long. Then she got a boyfriend, even if he looked twelve, and Caroline was relegated back to her usual existence. It wasn’t like Caroline wanted or needed a boyfriend because her schedule was busy enough.

Which took her to the second person she had to blame. Lexi. Her colleague and friend, who decided they should spend the evening speed dating so Bonnie could “get it on with her boyfriend” as she put it. Caroline figured the fact she’d already signed them up weeks earlier and only asked right before a deposition hearing were the main reasons why she had no choice but to agree.

Now, here she was, pretending to be interested in Tyler and shooting deliberate looks in Lexi’s direction who seemed unaffected given the way she was attempting to read her guy’s palm. Smooth.

“I don’t think I got your name?”

“Huh?” She looked into his warm, brown eyes feeling guilty she’d been blatantly ignoring him.

“Your name?” Before she could reply, she heard a very familiar voice call out her name.

Then he appeared in all his gorgeous goodness, his ability to wear a suit had not waned since they’d seen each other last at a mutual friend’s engagement party. Why he was here of all places, she had no idea.

“Caroline, sweetheart.” Sweetheart?

“Do you know this guy?” Tyler asked, the confusion obvious. She didn’t blame him.

“Of course she knows me, I’m only her boyfriend.”

Her what now? Caroline was too shocked to speak let alone reprimand him for being a presumptuous idiot.

“You have a boyfriend? Then why are you here?”

“I’d like to know the same thing, mate,” Klaus agreed, his hands crossed over his chest. Caroline was madly trying to crawl under the table just so everyone would stop looking at her like she was some two-timing girlfriend.

Lexi meanwhile seemed to be enjoying the entertainment from afar, raising her champagne glass in salute, even if she had no idea what was happening. Caroline wasn’t enjoying it at all. She wanted to scream at him for being such an ass but at the same time a rescue from this situation was an equally enticing prospect.

“I…”

Before she could find the words, he found them for her.

“It’s my fault, sweet cheeks,” he implored, pushing past Tyler and placing his hands in hers. Caroline was trying to ignore the electricity it generated but also the horrible pet name he’d bestowed. Like he couldn’t have come up with something normal? “I neglected you and for that I am so sorry but just know that I will love you, always and forever.”

Was he kidding? Next thing he’d be pulling out a cracker jack bracelet or resembling any one of the romantic leads in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Caroline made a note to tease him about his taste in movies and television later.

However it seemed their audience didn’t mind one bit. Women and men nearby were more interested in fawning over the scene playing out than resuming speed dating. Even their organiser seemed transfixed.

She hated him, especially for interrupting her night and being the smug pain-in-the-ass she knew so well but she needed to get out of there fast and he was her ticket.

“Honey bear,” she cooed, noting the slight twitch in his jaw. Caroline knew he was trying to withhold his signature smirk. But why did he have to smell so good withholding it? His hands were still firmly intertwined with hers too. “You took me for granted, so why should I forgive you?”

Now he was trying to contain an eye roll, only someone who’d known him for that long could tell. And she was loving every moment especially if he was going to crash her speed date and embarrass her in the process.

“And for that I am eternally sorry, baby cakes.” Caroline had to really try not to dry reach. “But you are the one for me. We are destined to be together forever, like soulmates.”

As much as she wanted to draw this out and force him to eat those horrible and predictable platitudes, this show needed to end. Now. Given Tyler’s defeated expression she knew it wouldn’t be too difficult to transition to the bar and to a much-needed straight vodka on the rocks.

“You were an imbecile, Mario, but I’m willing to consider a reconciliation if you stop being an asshat and promise to worship me forever.”

Before she could relish in her response and the slight tugging at the edges of his crimson lips, he’d pulled her up and moved them towards the direction of the bar. No doubt because her demands were slightly out of the question and he was starting to feel embarrassed himself. Served him right really. Given half of the people were entranced by their conversation and the rest were clearly dubious she decided it was good timing to high tail it out of there.

“Worship you forever, someone clearly has tickets on themselves,” he muttered, gesturing to the barman. “And who is Mario? I so do not look like a Mario.”

“Says the man child named Mario who called me sweet cheeks and baby cakes."

“I was clearly being sarcastic,” he shot back, gesturing for a shot. “What was honey bear all about then?”

“You barrelled into my life uninvited, and last time I checked you don’t live here.”

“I'm in town for business and was having dinner with colleagues. Had I known it was going to be dinner and a show I might have arrived sooner.” Caroline chose not to respond immediately, just drank her vodka in one, long gulp. “Someone is thirsty.”

“I need to drink to deal with you.”

“Says the girl speed dating,” he whistled. “I mean you can be difficult and kind of abrasive, Forbes, but I never thought you’d speed date in a million years.”

“I am only doing this for Bonnie because she wanted the apartment to herself to cook for her date and then my friend Lexi signed me up without telling me,” she rambled.

“She’ll have another vodka,” he gestured to the barman. “So, I take it this boyfriend hasn’t sampled Bennett’s cooking yet? I just hope you left the fire extinguisher in plain view.”

“That’s what you took from all of this?’"

“I feel like if I delve too deeply I’ll be too immersed in all the Rebekah type drama and we both know that is not my thing.”

“I’ll be sure to pass on your best wishes to your sister,” she growled. “So, why involve yourself and embarrass me like that in front of total strangers? Let me guess, you’ve got no one to play with and were bored?”

“Don’t underestimate my ability to find a playmate, love.” The way he drawled “playmate” was making places below feel like they hadn’t in a long time. So much so that she didn’t even try to bite back. “Anyway, I thought it would be fun,” he teased, his left dimple making an unwanted appearance at that exact moment. “And I could tell you you needed rescuing.”

“I’m not some damsel in distress you need to save, Mikaelson,” she argued.

“Says the girl who looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here,” he shot back. “So, you’re welcome.”

“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!” The patrons began to chant and tap their glasses, Caroline only just realising they seemed to have an audience of very interested speed daters watching their every move.

“I’m going to need more vodka,” she muttered, “But not here.”

Roosevelt Hotel, Beverly Hills - 2 hours later

“So, this is where you bring all your playmates?” It was the first thing that came to mind when Caroline spied the king size bed taking pride of place in his suite. They’d spent an hour at 25 degrees, the hotel’s poolside bar and were now in his suite.

Inexplicably.

Okay, maybe not so inexplicably.

Caroline wasn’t one to go to a guy’s hotel room - especially this particular one - but between the vodka buzz and the fact Lexi had picked up and Bonnie was enjoying her night in their apartment there wasn’t much choice about where to go.

The vodka had helped loosen her usual inhibitions and, although she’d never say it aloud, Caroline was enjoying his company. Although, if anyone asked about this temporary bout of insanity she’d blame the alcohol.

“ Says the woman who was questioning the existence of said playmates only a few hours earlier.”

“So, you won’t mind if I do this?” She stated, not bothering to ask his permission as she discarded her heels and jumped onto the perfectly made bed. He stopped what he was doing momentarily, his eyes transfixed on her short, black dress and bouncing, blonde waves.

“I’m going to have to tip the maid extra now,” his voice was low, husky almost.

“Maybe she deserves it,” Caroline shot back.

He didn’t respond immediately, just shrugged off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. She was watching him do it like it was in slow motion. Then he rolled up his shirt sleeves. Who knew forearms could be so...appealing?

Caroline was starting to think that she was entering some sort of alternate universe she needed to escape, if only just to keep her sanity and self respect. I mean he was Klaus Mikaelson and she wasn’t one of his “playmates.” Not by a long shot.

“Drink?”

“Water, please,” she replied immediately, he cocked an eyebrow as if to say she was no fun. “I’m a cheap drunk, what can I say? And who knows what else I might trash in this place under the influence?”

He seemed to accept her response, busying himself with drink preparation. “So, why exactly did you go speed dating in the first place?” He asked, filling a tall glass with ice cubes.

“I told you,” she panted, finally tiring of the activity and making herself comfortable on the expansive bed. “Bonnie…”

“I heard that version,” he pressed. “But I want the real one.”

He passed her the water and made himself comfortable on the bed, his aftershave combining with the dizziness and messing with her overall composure.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, and maybe you don’t understand, but spending it alone can kind of suck,” she confessed. “Especially when your roomie kicks you out of the house.”

“I just hope you kick Bennett out on Halloween as payback.”

“You like Halloween?”

“You have no idea, love,” he chuckled. “No rose petals or corny ballads, just blood, guts and general mayhem.”

“Noted.”

“It’s just this ridiculous Hallmark Holiday,” Klaus offered, stretching out further and grazing her legs in the process. “It creates unrealistic expectations.”

“So, it’s Hallmark’s fault?”

“Hallmark is the tip of the iceberg,” he explained. “Every candy company, every florist, every jeweller and don’t even get me started on those terrible things they call romantic comedies.”

“You don’t like romantic comedies?”

“I try to steer clear for my own sanity, Caroline.”

“Not tonight,” she murmured, an idea suddenly coming to mind. “If I’m forced to stay in this mediocre hotel with you then...”

It was a lie and they both knew it but suddenly the less tipsy version of herself felt like she needed an excuse to stay the night with her best friend’s brother in such close quarters.

“I demand a movie marathon.”

“Terminator, Rambo, Rocky?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day, Mikaelson,” she shot back. “And I happen to know there is a marathon on television tonight.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me?”

“I’m deathly serious,” she answered. “But before we start, I’m going to need some popcorn and a shirt.”

“You want my shirt?”

“Not the shirt you’re wearing, lover boy, don’t get so excited. But I can’t sleep in this dress.”

His eyes seemed to linger a little too long on her body and Caroline was trying to do everything in her power to remain calm. Luckily he broke the silence not too long after.

“I’ll get you a shirt, but I’m not going to enjoy these movies at all, understand? I am only watching these ridiculous excuses of cinema because you’ve taken my television hostage?”

2 hours later…

“So, the apparent “virgin who can’t drive” ends up with the step brother? I mean I’m not surprised given the poor and predictable plot but is this kind of union legal in the state of California?”

“For the fiftieth time, he’s not related,” she growled, throwing a few popcorn kernels in his direction. This is about Cher realising that material things in life aren’t everything.”

"Whatever you say, Forbes. Although, tell me after this movie ended she ditched the mansion, the jeep, the designer plaid and knee sock combination outfits and moved to the Valley?”

He was annoying but also eerily observant.

“Yes, I mean maybe? People with money can change.”

“They’ve clearly never met Mikael or Esther.”

He said it quietly but Caroline couldn’t mistake the pain in his voice. She knew about his difficult past but they’d never been close enough to discuss it and given they were lying in the same bed it didn’t seem like the best time to open that pandora’s box.

“Do I have a great choice for you next,” she promised, her eyes sparkling, hoping to lift the mood.

2 hours later…

“Are you crying?”

“No, for the last time I have allergies, Caroline.”

“Inside?”

“The pollen level was high today and the doors in these rooms are forever opening and closing. Maybe the maid doesn’t deserve such a big tip after all.”

Maybe it was cruel, but it was on television and there was no stopping the effects of the Notebook on even the most emotionless male.

2 hours later…

“I thought I’d seen everything,” he scoffed, stretching out tiredly. “She paid a guy to be her wedding date?”

“Not just anyone, he’s hot.”

“He’s an escort.”

“I think it adds to his overall appeal. He knows how to treat a woman because of his experience.”

“And how many escorts have you met?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Wow, if you ever show up to a wedding with a stranger, I’ll be asking for their credentials,” he joked. “Wait, you think he’s attractive?”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

“Each to their own I suppose, but that aside, the whole premise is just unrealistic.”

“It is a movie.”

“Yeah, a romantic comedy,” he shot back. “Case closed. Now, can we please sleep already? I think I deserve it after that marathon effort.”

“Fine,” she conceded, leaning across to turn off the lamp. “I have to say your shirt is very comfortable.”

“It should be," he replied, snuggling into the covers. “That’s my lucky Ramones t-shirt.”

As her head hit the pillow, Caroline was wondering why he gave her that particular shirt to wear. She couldn’t deny just how good the worn fabric felt against her bare skin and how the faint hint of his aftershave consumed her senses.

Sleep was immediate.

When she woke up the next morning and felt his arm encircle her waist and pull her towards him Caroline relished in the feeling. She assumed life would go back to normal but for now she was happy to live in the moment. It was probably better that way.

Read on AO3 HERE

#klaroline fanfiction #klaroline fanfic #all you never say #klaroline #misssophiachase

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junglxqueen · 3 years

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Just Friends (L.H.)

Word Count: 3579 Chapter 2 ¨Babylon We burned too bright, now the fire's gone, watch it all fall down¨ ¨Thank you Brazil!¨ Luke yells, above the excited screams of the fans. ¨You were fantastic!¨I say, receiving another wave of screams, at the same time that Babylon's melody ends and the lights go out. I smile and stare at the audience for a few more seconds. The lights of the telephones, illuminating in the middle of the darkness, and the screams that little by little are extinguished. I let the adrenaline and dopamine run through my body for a few more seconds until Michael's hand passing me brings me back to reality. ¨Let´s go.¨ He murmurs to what I nod, I leave my instrument in its place and I follow them. As soon as we leave the stage, we are received with applauses and some congratulations from the crew, a tradition that we have had for quite some time now. I smile, thank them and take the towel they give me to dry my sweat. Michael, Calum, and Luke are full of energy, (concerts usually have that effect on us, although it doesn't last long, in 15 minutes they will be dead). Ashton flops to the ground dramatically, apparently, his reserve tank is empty, and to be honest, I'm not surprised. I decide to drop in with Ashton, and before laying my head on his stomach, I wipe a bit of his sweat with the towel. He raises his head and looks at me amused. ¨Seriously? You're as covered in sweat as I am, maybe even more so, you smell.¨ I throw him the towel reproachfully. ¨Hush, I don't smell, that´s probably you.¨ ¨Yes of course.¨He says and puts his head back on the floor. Damn you, Ashton, do I really smell? I sneak my head down to my armpits, nothing, I smell like flowers. Ashton laughs because he knows what I just did so I hit his stomach. ¨You would like to smell like me, I smell divine.¨ He doesn't answer. Soon we hear Kevin's voice urging us to get up and take a shower so we can go to the hotel to spend the night. A group groan is his response. ¨Nono, no complaints, this is their last concert here in Brazil, at the latest we have to be tomorrow night in Argentina. You have to give two concerts there. On the road, Luke and Michael have a call with the radio that I told them about yesterday, and Ashton, Annie, and Calum have a Zoom with one of the Argentine TV channels, which Luke and Michael will later join. After that, we arrive, rehearsals, then you have about three or four hours free before we start with the concert, understood? I sent the schedules to their phones and Ann, stop ignoring my messages. I know you see them.¨ ¨Sorry, I forget to answer.¨ Kevin lets out an "Mmmhm" and leaves, but not before reminding us to shower before leaving. We didn´t use to do that, we used to jump directly from the Concert to the bus, but it ended up smelling like a municipal garbage dump after a few months, so it was established as a rule to shower before getting on the bus. After the shower, I take my things, say goodbye to the team, and go to the bus, on the way I find Kevin and rush to meet him. ¨Kev, Kev, how long is it from here to the hotel?¨ He looks at me, without stopping walking. ¨Not too long, about twenty minutes away, why are you tired? Your bug didn´t come back, right?¨ Bug is a reference to the migraines that I get. I shake my head. ¨No, the medicine that Luke gave me caught it just in time, and yes, I'm dead tired, I wanted to know if I could sleep on the way, before arriving at the hotel, but it´s very little time.¨ "Aha," he answers, nodding. When we get to the bus, before he walks away, he tells me which one is my room and tells me to ask for the keys at the hotel reception, to which I nod and he says goodbye. I get on the bus and see most of the guys there. I greet them and immediately look for a half-abandoned place on the bus, I find it almost at the end, a long seat between the windows. It's not that I don't want to be with them, it's just that after all the fuss, I'd really like a little hush. Calum joins me not long after. ¨Tired?¨ I ask as soon as I see him, he makes a gesture of

more or less with his head and hands me a banana. I take it with pleasure and I start to eat it. ¨Do you know when we have a break?¨ He asks and takes a bite of his pear. I shake my head. ¨When was the last break?¨ I ask. ¨I think like three or four months ago.¨ I drop an "Mmmhm" and check my phone in search of my itinerary. ¨The next one should be in Paraguay, right? They said we were going to have a break there, like a week or so.¨ Calum lets out a frustrated sigh. ¨What happens? You miss someone?¨ I elbow him, with an amused smile. He looks at me and denies it, blushing a little. ¨Not really ... I mean yes, but no, well yes but not so much, it's like ...¨ I look at him raising my eyebrows. ¨Well yeah, I miss her.¨ He murmurs realizing that he had caught himself. ¨Maybe you can take a fly, go and come back at that time?¨ He denies with the head. ¨I already checked, from Argentina it takes like two or three days to arrive in Australia, and from Paraguay? Won´t even tell you. It's not going to give me the time to get back and forth before the next stop.¨ ¨Aw.¨ I look at him sadly. ¨Sorry Cal, I guess you're going to have to hang on until the next break.¨ He nods and thinks for a second, then reaches into his pocket and removes the paper the interviewer had given Luke. I raise my eyebrows and look at him. ¨Why did you keep it?¨ I ask and try to take it from his hands, he dodges me. ¨I saw your reaction Ann back at the break room.¨ ¨What ?! I was curious.¨ I defend myself, to which he says ¨Aha¨, incredulous. ¨You and I know it's not just curiosity, when are you going to admit it¨ He asks, trying to meet my eyes while I avoid him. ¨There is nothing to admit, we are best friends and that's it. I already told you.¨ He denies with the head. ¨Bullshit. You and I are best friends, Michael and I are best friends, the five of us are best friends. But only the two of you treat each other lovey-dovey.¨ He raises his eyebrows, looking at me. As if we haven´t spoken about this a thousand times already. ¨We already talked about this, he sees me as if I were his little sister, that's why he protects me so much. And I do the same with him, he's like my bro-¨ ¨My balls¨ He interrupts. ¨If it was really like that, it would be incest.¨ I try to slap him on the head, a bit embarrassed. Which he dodges. ¨I'm serious Ann, react, I don´t think there is a more beautiful couple or two made just for each other like you two. I wouldn't want to see you lose each other for not acting on time.¨ He looks at me seriously and when he finishes he smiles at me slightly, that kind of smile that tells you that he is telling you that because he loves you. I am speechless, so he leaves a kiss on my hair and gets up when the bus stops, leaving the crumpled paper on the table in front of me before he leaves. I stare at the paper for a few seconds, thinking about what he told me. The thing is, as we are now, I think our relationship is perfect. No drama, no jealousy, no danger of my heart is shattered. We are friends, friends that give each other the necessary amount of affection and tenderness for the day. We support each other in everything and we are always there for each other. But for me to give him the power to hold my heart in his hands? No, I'm really sorry. You have to excuse me, but I'm scared, I don't want to take the risk. We are fine the way we are, best friends with a platonic relationship, perfect. ¨Knock Knock.¨ Says the King of Rome, from the corridor. I rush to grab the paper before he sees it. He looks at me with raised eyebrows but doesn't ask questions. ¨The bus stopped about five minutes ago and the driver already wants to go, are you staying here to sleep?¨ I shake my head and stand up, putting the paper in my pocket. ¨I´ve lost track of time, I'm sorry.¨ I say as I walk up to him. Together we got off the bus. I greet some fans who are there waiting in front of the hotel and I recommend them to go home. It's late and it's cold, I wouldn't want them to stay out in the open for so long. After a few minutes, we go into

the hotel and look for the keys to my room. Luke, who had stayed with me outside, walks me to the door and says goodbye when we arrive, wishing me a good night. He always does that, he doesn't like to leave me alone in unknown places, he has done it practically ever since we met. After settling into my room and changing into pajamas, I order a pizza and start looking for something to watch on TV, even though I won´t paying attention. What Calum has told me is running through my head. Aside from everything I´ve told you before, I´m also not very good with my feelings. In fact, it takes a lot for me to recognize them, and even more, to maintain them. And with Luke, it's all very confusing. Yes, I like him, but at the same time, I'm not sure I really like him. I mean, I like to receive his attention, and his pampering and all his affection, but do I really like him? Of course, I won´t like to see him with someone else, but that could be my ego, being affected. And if I really like him, I see him every day. What if I get bored? What if I mess up our friendship? Worse yet, what if I'm really in love, and decide to risk it all. What if he ruins it? What if ruin it? Apart, I've known these guys for years now, I know how capable they are of ruining something beautiful, I've seen them do it. What if he ruins our thing? And how will the atmosphere in the band be if it doesn't work? No no-no. You'll have to excuse me, but I'm not risking everything for something full of ¨whar ifs¨. So I pack up all those thoughts and put them back in the closet of my mind, the less I think about it, the less it affects me. I hear a knock coming from the door and I look at the time, 40 minutes have passed. Forty minutes already ?! So much time thinking! I shake my head and surround myself with the blanket, maybe it´s the pizza I ordered. But when I get to the door and see through the fisheye who it is, my thoughts that I had locked them in the closet, burst out. I open the door and smile at him, somewhat surprised. ¨Luke.¨ ¨Room service?¨ He smiles, lifting the pizza in one hand and looking at me innocently. I open the door a little more, letting him in. He walks by and I stare for a second at his back covered in a furry and warm robe while he settles into my room. I sigh and close the door. How am I supposed to lock all these thoughts now?

#luke #hemmings #fanfic #luke hemmings fanfic #luke fanfic #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #calum #hood #calum hood #ashton #irwin #ashton irwin #michael clifford #michael #clifford #5sos #5 seconds of summer

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novantinuum · 4 years

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Intake (SUF one-shot)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences (TW: brief discussion of mental illness related topics like suicide ideation and intrusive thoughts.)

Words: 2800

Summary: Steven fills out an important form.

This is set multiple months pre The Future, and is a small glimpse into Steven’s journey to find a therapist.

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well. AO3 link will be provided in the reblogs. Thank you! <3

____

His leg bounces with a restless fervor as he slumps in the waiting room chair, clutching the clipboard and pencil the receptionist gave him with a white knuckled grip. Gaze hardened, he takes a good long look at the other patients spread across the room, a few of them appearing equally as spent and fidgety as him, and hunches over the intake form so his answers will be conclusively obscured from their view.

He grimaces. Ugh. Why would a place like this lay out their chairs so close, anyways? Why even give people the option of being nosey? He may be stuck seeing this therapist Connie’s mom recommended because he’s all messed up in the head, but it’s not like he wants the whole planet to know about it. Goodness knows all of Beach City and Little Homeworld already does thanks to his little ‘incident’ a month back. That’s bad enough.

His chest almost feeling hollow as he sighs, he scrawls in his name, his birthday, his cell number, address, and an emergency contact (Dad, who left for the car to give him privacy after signing a few forms he can’t fill out as a minor) on the lines indicated. He leaves out his many middle names for once, all of them leaving a bitter taste in his mouth at this present moment. Briefly, he wonders if this will be a problem, as these past few weeks Dr. Maheswaran assisted his dad in finally acquiring legal documentation and health insurance for him, and per those records he’s officially ‘Steven Quartz Universe’ in the eyes of the law.

Eventually he shrugs, figuring the likelihood of there being another sixteen-year-old ‘Steven Universe’ here today to confuse him with is nearing zero.

Okay, what’s next?

He briefly skims over the next few passages— a bunch of legalese about the terms of counselor-patient confidentiality and when they might have to breach that for safety reasons— and signs where indicated so they know he looked over it.

Someone sitting two chairs away coughs. He can’t help but flinch at the sudden noise, and folds himself tighter in his own seat as he flips over the first page of the form and continues to read.

In a few words, explain why you’ve chosen to reach out to us today. How can we help you?

Steven frowns, fingers twitching around the shaft of the pencil as he contemplates how to respond. For whatever reason, the question “explain why you’re here” feels very blunt and antagonistic to him in a way he can’t quite ascertain. Like... in a “give the wrong answer, get booted right out the door” sorta way. He lifts his head, peering at all the humans spread across the room, each and every one with their own story, the central character of their own worlds. Some are texting on their phones as they wait for the receptionist to call their names, others are filling out forms as well. What brought these people here, he wonders? Surely there’s plenty of people having a worse time than him right now. Surely there’s people with real problems, people who are literally struggling just to stay alive from day-to-day. He’s not like that, right? Besides that one little wobble a month back, he’s been handling his problems on his own fairly okay. Hasn’t he? So what makes him selfish enough to think that he’s worth anyone’s time?

In his pocket his phone vibrates, knocking him back into reality. He yanks it out and switches it on to look at the new text splashed across the lock screen:

Dad: Hey Schtu-ball, just wanna let you know that I’m proud of you and love you very much. You’ve got this!

He stares at these words for a good minute, the kind sentiment— despite reading as a little hopelessly over-encouraging— filling the hollow space in his chest partway. Even if his dad’s been a bit overbearing in his affections this past month, it’s clear he means well.

So. Why am I here today, he thinks, reading the question over again. He folds his fingers up into a stiff fist, pulling his thumb across his knuckles. After licking his chapped lips and shoving his phone back in his pocket, he scribbles a hasty reply.

I feel really angry and empty and tense and just want to be better.

The teen pauses, allowing those words to echo over and over in his mind, to truly sink in. It’s such a succinct and to-the-point admission that he suddenly wonders why he ever doubted he was less deserving of aid than anyone else in this waiting room.

His countenance a little lighter now and his shoulders growing less stiff, he moves on to the next section.

To aid our counselors in providing you the best possible care, please rate the following statements on a scale from zero to four, zero meaning “not at all like me,” and four meaning “extremely like me.”

Steven’s eyes dart across the length of the massive table below these instructions, his previous anxiety rushing back into his brittle bones as if it’d never left. Each row is host to a short sentence and five blank boxes, numbered zero to four. Read it and rate yourself, right? Should be simple enough. But as his glance flits over these statements and he understands the sort of personal, probing questions they’re asking through them, he begins to mistrust his previous burst of optimism. Dread floods his system, making his cheeks flush bright pink. Heart pounding at the mere thought of people staring, he drops his head lower, successfully hiding most of his face behind the clipboard until he can coax that betraying glow into fading away.

In the end, this goes to prove that it doesn’t matter if everyone says therapy will be ‘helpful’ for him; reflecting on all this junk is still gonna suck.

Quietly, he takes a steadying breath and forces himself to read on, to crack open the hornet’s nest that is the depths of his crap brain.

1. I am shy around others.

He considers this for a moment. Shy. Historically, this has never been a word people would use to describe him. For years he reveled in the thrill of meeting new people, new Gems. His childhood eagerness to engage in fellowship with those around is half the reason Era 3 even exists. And he’s fine around people he knows. Like, on a rare good day he has no problem playing board games or watching cheesy soap operas with his friends. But to be fair... as of late, his eagerness to meet anyone new feels like it’s all but vanished. Is that being shy? Or is that just him failing to care for anyone beyond his inner circle?

With a small shrug he checks the box for one, and moves on.

2. I don’t enjoy being around people as much as I used to.

Hmm. Probably a three. People are unintentionally exhausting these days. He used to be energized by social interaction, and now it just leaves him sucked dry. Most days he’d rather stick to his room.

3. I feel isolated and alone.

The weight of the diamond embedded in his belly— something he normally barely notices— grows ever more apparent as he marks off a four.

4. My heart often races for no good reason.

Uh, yeah. What happened just a minute ago is a pretty good tell. Four.

5. I have spells of terror or panic.

Another four.

6. I am anxious that I might have a panic attack while in public.

Four once more. He holds his pencil tighter, squirming in his seat as he tries (and fails) not to think about the pale scars spread across his back, hidden in his hairline, and on the underside of his arms, indentations that once marked the base of the crystalline spines that jut out from between his scales.

7. I think about food more than I’d like to.

Steven pauses at this one. For once, he’s not sure he can say this statement applies to him. Truth be told, he only started caring about what he put in his mouth earlier this year, when he cut meat and fish out of his diet. And that’s not... a bad thing? It’s not bad to want to consider the impact your food choices have on the environment? He definitely didn’t choose to do so for self-denying reasons, and that’s probably what they’re asking about. He checks zero, and moves on.

8. I feel out of control when I eat.

He almost checks another zero, but then he remembers that day after the proposal... and the week after his incident. And he decides that even if he doesn’t consciously obsess over the food he eats, there’s still a few occasions where once he starts snacking he finds it difficult to stop. A one it is, then.

9. I have sleep difficulties.

This statement nearly makes him laugh. Does he have sleep difficulties. Hah. He doesn’t think he’s gotten a truly restful night of sleep since he sacrificed himself to Homeworld at fourteen.

A solid four. No question.

10. My thoughts are racing.

Four.

11. I feel uncomfortable around people I don’t know.

Hmm. Two.

12. I drink alcohol frequently.

The only alcohol he’s ever had is a tiny sip of his dad’s with permission at Garnet’s wedding reception, and it tasted terrible. He has no interest in drinking again. Zero.

13. When I drink alcohol I can’t remember what happened.

Zero.

14. I drink more than I should.

Zero again.

15. I have done something I have regretted because of drinking.

Another zero. It almost makes him feel better, just knowing there’s a decent number of lines on this paper that aren’t a carbon copy of his lived experience.

16. I feel sad all the time.

Aaaand back to “the story of his life.” Briefly, he wonders if ‘feeling sad’ is the same thing as feeling nothing at all. But then again, does the difference really matter? He checks the box for three.

17. I am concerned that other people don’t like me.

Three. Although honestly, he’s even more concerned that people continue to like him after everything he’s done.

18. I feel worthless.

Steven nibbles at the inside of his cheek as he reads this statement, memories automatically flashing through the pathetic events of the last few weeks, through all the days he barely crawled out from under his covers, all the days he didn’t even manage to brush his teeth or run his fingers through his greasy, knotted hair, all those awful days he couldn’t so much as play one of his video games without growing tired of it in minutes and taking a restless nap for the rest of the afternoon instead.

Four.

19. I feel helpless.

Two. Everyday affairs are a drag, but at the very least he knows he can fight his way out of danger in a pinch. He wouldn’t call that helpless.

20. I have thoughts of ending my life.

He freezes. Goes back, reads this line again. Reads it a third time to make sure he’s not horrendously misconstruing the prompt he’s been given.

(Tries not to think too deeply about the graphic images that flood his imagination some nights. It’s just stray thoughts, though. He’s fine.)

One, he marks, although his muscles can’t help but twitch as he shifts his wrist, as if deep down he knows he’s underplaying his answer.

21. I feel tense.

Steven gives a small snort under his breath. Yeah, he outright admitted as much earlier in this form. Four.

22. I get angry easily.

His grip tightens.

Four.

23. I have difficulty controlling my temper.

He swallows hard, his mouth feeling abnormally dry. He’s not sure he likes how blunt and probing this questionnaire is becoming.

Four...

24. I sometimes feel like breaking or smashing things.

His knuckles go white around his pencil, and he only barely resists the temptation to snap it in half as he feels a rush of hard light flow the distance from his gem through the veins of his arm. Geeze, it’s not like he means to break things! It’s just that all of his stupid powers are linked with his emotions, and whenever he gets even marginally upset now things start to splinter, crack in half, and inevitably end up broken. Just another sign he’s fated to ruin everything around him forever, and that his intent doesn’t matter. Why do they have to pry into this? He already feels terrible enough for thinking these things.

Three, he checks, his eyes damp, but mostly because he’s too scared what their response will be otherwise.

25. I am not able to concentrate as well as usual.

He takes a deep breath, coaxing his body to return to a baseline state. Eh. He’ll give this a two.

26. I feel self-conscious around others.

His glance skirts over the edge of the clipboard to monitor the four others currently spread out across the room. One’s rhythmically swinging their legs, another is still filling out a form like him, but sitting criss-cross on the chair, and the other two are quietly typing on their phones. Thankfully none of them are pressing an ounce of attention his way, (at least, not right now), but that doesn’t stop him from feeling like an exposed nerve. Three.

27. I am afraid I may lose control and act violently.

The raw memories hit like lightning before he can even think to prepare.

Flashes of Pink. Orange fragments, cold and slick in his palms. Thunder splits the skies overhead, each cacophonous sound manifesting in perfect synchronicity with his erratic heartbeat, with each tidal wave of thoughts gushing like a maelstrom through his head: SHATTERER, I’m a shatterer, I’m—

Feeling almost dizzy from the intensity of his heart’s pulse, he knows with full certainty that his cheeks are glowing bright pink again. All he can do is clench his fists, suck down whatever amount of fresh air his lungs will allow, and pray to the very stars themselves that it’ll fade away before it garners the attention of every last human in this place.

He checks the box for four, pencil marking so hard that slivers of graphite splinter off onto the page, and moves on before he can be cowardly enough to change his answer.

28. I have thoughts of hurting others.

His fingernails claw into the thin denim at his knee, limbs outright quivering as he stews in his seat, as he’s forced to reflect upon all the ugly, ugly thoughts that have flit across his awareness over the past weeks. Thoughts about one Gem specifically. He’s... always been angry, always harbored deep resentment... but ever since his most recent trip to visit Her, he hasn’t been able to shake this awful idea: a vision of him standing over the remnants of her gemstone, shattered, fragments spilled across the otherwise pristine floors of Homeworld. He... he didn’t do it when he had the chance. He wouldn’t do it, would he?

(Orange fragments, cold and slick...)

Would he??

And yet nevertheless, the thought tortures him with its frequency, makes him feel downright nauseous at every turn. He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want to feel this way at all.

Four.

29. I am unable to keep up with my schoolwork.

Stop. Sharp inhale. Staccato, shaky exhale. Repeat, deeper this time. Repeat.

(He can no longer see neon pink reflecting in the smooth metal clasp at the top of his clipboard.)

Okay. Schoolwork.

N/A, he writes in one of the boxes, arm still trembling from the last two questions despite his attempt at cool-down exercises. Not applicable. He hasn’t even been to school, and dreads the inevitability of this therapist asking about that mess.

30. It’s hard to stay motivated for my classes.

N/A.

31. I feel confident that I can succeed academically.

N/A, once more.

And like that, the questionnaire is over. Steven is quick to hide his answers behind the front page, and slides the pencil through the length of the metal clip. He glances around him, drinking in his surroundings with pinpoint precision. Despite his earlier concerns, no one is maliciously staring. No one’s whispering. He internally wrestled with a few challenging subjects and what do you know, it didn’t end in an embarrassingly public meltdown. He— he wipes a stray tear from his eye with the butt of his palm— he took a solid step forward today.

Coercing his body to move, he pulls himself out of the cushioned chair and crosses the room.

“I finished,” he says softly, proudly, as he hands the clipboard and pencil to the receptionist. She smiles and accepts his hard-fought offering.

For the first time in a while, the smile he instinctively flashes back almost feels genuine.

I want to be better, he thinks. I will be better.

____

Notes:

This fic is loosely based on my own experience of the intake process, and the questionnaire I had to fill out. No two intake experiences are the same though, of course. This is merely one possibility. I also take personal liberties on the way I depict Steven’s struggle with mental health, and acknowledge and respect that no two fans’ interpretation will be the same.

Additional notes: -Steven’s still a minor, so he can’t actually sign contracts. I figure Greg signed a handful of forms beforehand as his guardian, and then left to allow his son a bit of privacy with filling out the questionnaire stuff. Since he's a teen, they're still giving him the full confidentiality clauses to look over so he's wholly aware how that works, though.

-To expand on a brief comment made in the midst of this, I headcanon that Steven cut both meat and fish out of his diet, and thus actually slipped up on his vegetarian diet when he was training with Jasper. I interpret this as further showcasing how the poor kid— due to being mentally vulnerable at the time and thus liable to coercion/unwise decisions— began to take actions that went against much of his established morality. He ended up sacrificing his dietary choices during those days, just like he briefly sacrificed his pacifistic views to fight Jasper.

-I also headcanon that the therapist Steven is going in to see after this isn’t the one he eventually sticks with and mentions as “my new therapist” in The Future. It’s totally normal and okay to try a few different people to find someone who you click with, after all.

Thank you for reading!

#su #su future #steven universe #su fanfiction #my writing stuff #okay the official crosspost #here you go #i keep switching how i post fics here hhh #i LIKE having the ao3 link in the post itself #but when i do that the fic almost never shows up in tags so *shrugs*

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maariarogers · 3 years

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How They Steal Seojun’s Scenes and Ruin A Tiny Essence of Seojun and Suho’s Character(s) in the K-Drama: A Study

Hi everybody!

First and foremost, I’m not online a lot, and whenever I do lately, I mostly try to spend it by fixating on a certain fandom — which, this time, happened to be the latest K-Drama “True Beauty”. I’ve written about two other study / analysis / meta which you could find here:

Thoughts On True Beauty and Why I’m On Team Suho

Why Webtoon!Suho is Superior and K-Drama!Suho Needs To Catch Up 👏

I’ve recently noticed during my scrolling that there has been a lot of tension between Team Seojun and Team Suho, which... broke my heart a little bit, because for the last eight episodes, I wasn’t really aware of it. I just thought everybody was having as much fun as I was just watching the K-Drama, but you know, we still have our favourites and we still have times when we disagree with the direction of the show, but by the end of the day, it was still something fun to watch, to distress with, and to share with like-minded fans.

Regardless, this is a warning that I don’t write with any intention to specifically target any characters or storyline, whether it be webtoon or the K-Drama. I do equally adore all of the cast, the production; the characters in the webtoon — and I will forever be thankful that I was fortunate enough to stumble upon the story as I did.

To add some context: I am a film student graduate, and I’ve always been interested in objectively dissecting characters, especially from a franchise, or things that came from a raw materials like True Beauty is. For your reference, I am currently at Chapter 128 of the webtoon series, although I am aware of spoilers beyond the chapters. As for the drama, I am at Episode 10 while I’m writing this. (Started at episode 9, continuing after episode 10.)

This is purely an in-depth analysis, if you’re into those sort of things, mainly discussing the major differences between webtoon representation of characters Lee Suho and Han Seojun in particular, and their mirrored selves in the K-Drama. Under the category, I will be touching on:

What the K-Drama changed the characters specifically

How They Stole Seojun Webtoon’s Scene and Character

Why Some of It Worked, Some of It Will Never

How They Highkey Ruined Seojun and Suho’s Dynamics

Why They Didn’t Need to Change the Characters At All, really

Another warning, just so any readers are aware, I am primarily a Suho x Jugeyong fan, but I’ve never really minded Seojun’s relationship with Jugyeong, either in Webtoon and K-Drama. Again, this mostly has a lot to do with how excellent the execution for Seojun was in the webtoon particularly — but I believe we’ll be getting into that.

Also, this is mostly to address the differences of webtoon vs. k-drama (and why some scene worked, why some scene didn’t work), and while I’ll be touching on the issues underlying the characters a bit, for a more thorough analysis or thoughts on the mental health represented by the characters, I would recommend reading:

By Tumblr User imjukyung (speaking about post-episode 10, specifically for Suho)

True Beauty: True Trauma and Unsettling Regression by tumblr user life-rewritten

Last Warning: This is about 5,000+ words. I... yeah. I have nothing to say except it’s written.

1. What Changed Specifically

I think the massive change an audience could probably observe — or if you can’t observe, you would find yourself being annoyed by it at certain point — would be in Suho. Yes, we’re starting with him.

I’ve been noticing a lot that people do heatedly comment that Suho’s “boring” — which, to an extent, I agree. (I mentioned this too in the first meta.) He is a massive play on the “cold and distant” trope, which, in my head, I’d like to call, a massive Edward Cullen case. That trope is often repetitive, most of the time it’s horribly executed, and it’s just, yeah, I’m not a big fan of them.

But again, I’ve mentioned this before, it works for Suho. I think this was what he was meant to be. As reference, in the webtoon even, Sua was never impressed with Suho, and she did repetitively say that the only “good thing that was going for him” was his good looks, and that he’s “boring” (in fact, I believe this is a fact since high school towards their adulthood). So yes, I think he was written like that on purpose.

On top of that, in the webtoon, compare to the K-Drama, Suho really does — nothing.

I’ll circle back to this specific characteristic because it relates to Seojun again, but I do wanted to point out that it is actually a prominent thing that’s to do with Suho. All he does in the webtoon, really, is study. Some of the things we learn later while we read would be that: he reads horror comic books as a sense of escapism, and he’s a good cook.

That’s it.

We would learn later, of course, that it is more than that. This personality is intentional and, most importantly, purposeful. What we’ve perceived as “boring” was used right against Suho — especially in the Prince of Princes arc, where the influencer called Suho out for “never trying his best” when the other contestants, Seojun and Aiden if we’re being specific, truly had something to lose while they were doing the show.

So, it wasn’t just, something the webtoon author decided Suho to be and held him no responsibility over, no — she crafted Suho like that from the beginning, she made us get used to it, and then, slowly, we see cracks of Suho’s “perfect” image and how that backfired. And Suho? He paid for it.

More than the simple cold and distant trope, his continuously monotone exterior actually did raise important questions in the long-run: For someone so smart with such a solid background, why does he seemed the most lost out of the Seojun-Jugeyong-Suho trio?

In my second meta, I wrote this:

It felt like the writers were desperate to fill the gaps for Suho possibly being “dull” [while playing] this typical cool and distant character — when, in reality, Suho’s existence as is was quite enough. He didn’t need to steal Seojun’s fighting ability, and he especially didn’t need to rob Seyeon’s musical passion too, to be interesting and have depths of his own [...]

Which I feel unfortunate about when it comes to K-Drama!Suho, and I still stand by it now. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the K-Drama, because it could really hold up as its own separate storyline and timeline, but if we start to critically compare, we do see that, in reality, Suho could carry his “boring” character well and the K-Drama probably just didn’t know how to do this well, or thought the reception would be bad, so they added all of these unnecessarily profile traits to have him stand out.

To add, even when all he really does is study and read comic books, Jugyeong still likes him. To Jugyeong, Suho doesn’t really need to be more than what he is - their shared interest and their strong loyalty in ensuring they’re each other’s safe haven when it comes to emotional struggles were already enough for her; and for Suho, Jugyeong’s company as is had been sufficient to make him happy, or have a better outlook in life.

2. How They Stole Seojun Webtoon’s Scene and Character

This is quite a sensitive topic for Seojun’s fans, so I will try addressing this very, very carefully. If you have anymore to add and discuss, feel free — I’d love to know what else I’ve missed or might have overlooked.

In this specific section, I think I’d like to focus on three (3) major Seojun scene that was stolen. The band-aid, the wallet, and the spicy food. Of course, I’ll be touching on things they’ve stolen beyond those scenes because they did incorporate a lot of what Seojun should be experiencing to Suho, or other characters, and why this wasn’t okay — or it couldn’t be held up. But let’s start with the scene first and we’ll slowly walk to what other aspects of Seojun the writers think we wouldn’t notice being stolen.

The Band Aid Scene

In the webtoon (spoilers to those who haven’t read) in Chapter 34, Suho got into an accident in an attempt to save Jugyeong. This led her to be injured on the knees, which, after Seojun was called in, he helped treated.

In the K-Drama, Suho was the one who treated Jugyeong’s knees – but this happened very early in the series and it was specifically triggered because Jugyeong tripped on her way to run Suho’s errands.

Personally, for me, I didn’t really mind this scene was “stolen”. Now, okay, before anybody comes at me, allow me to explain why: I didn’t think it mattered? Which probably didn’t help my case in fending a lot of you off lol but — I just didn’t think it mattered because in either scenes, it was still an in-character thing for them to do. Each boy would still assist Jugyeong and treated her knees even if they’ve switched places.

What I really meant was though, the scene didn’t really take any of Seojun’s important and/or core personality away from him — which you’ll find what I mean more as we delve on soon — it was just an act which anybody would’ve done for Jugyeong in that moment.

Especially in the webtoon, the bigger focus was more towards Suho who just got into an accident. There wasn’t really any fundamental value or any obvious motivation towards the scene unless you counted Seojun finding out that Heegyeong was Jugyeong’s sister - which, even then, it was brushed over quickly because, of course, we focus heavily on Suho’s state towards the end, and we’re stirring into what really happened between the three S (Seojun-Suho-Seyeon).

In the K-Drama, it was set up in such a way with a clear motivation: Suho apologising for pushing Jugyeong to such a limit and therefore elevating their statuses in comradeship, and for Seojun to notice and took an important interest in Jugyeong after seeing Suho and her together, triggering his consecutive contacts with her afterwards.

Each of them could really hold up as their own separate acts, and both boys are still heavily in-character.

The Wallet

In Chapter 32, Jugyeong (bare-faced) met with her bullies and they had a quick confrontation in WcDonalds. We realise the bullies didn’t really think they were responsible for how they acted, and didn’t apologise. This left Jugyeong devastated, so she left the restaurant premises and went home without realising she dropped her wallet. At the restaurant, Seojun’s friends picked it up — but Seojun was the one who identified the wallet’s owner, and came back just as Jugyeong, now fully in make-up, came to get it. Despite probably having eaten, Seojun invited Jugyeong to eat, noticing she’s in a bad mood.

In the K-Drama, Episode 6 if I’m not mistaken, Jugyeong stumbled upon her former bullies bare-faced. She managed to run out of the restaurant premises before shortly realising that she dropped her wallet. When she turned, she saw Suho was with her bullies, grasping the wallet from them. She ran away, he chased after, and they had their mini confrontation and Suho shielded Jugyeong from being recognised by their schoolmates.

Again, like the first, I didn’t really hold up any grudge over the scenes? Mostly because the difference in context between them?

Allow me to explain: in the webtoon, it was clearly placed that way to show the slow elevation of friendship between Jugyeong and Seojun; that scene also progressed to Jugyeong meeting Seojun’s group of friends later, which triggers to more scenes of them in the future i.e. Jugyeong trying out clothes at the request of Seojun’s friend’s girlfriend and Seojun obviously falling hard during the whole process.

(I also think like these are the first few instances where we’re established a place Seojun and Jugyeong bonded over most besides school, i.e. the shopping street background, because them shopping together in that group, or just the two of them, are relatively mentioned or brought up again and again.)

But that can’t realistically work for K-Drama.

In the webtoon, we’re allowed for a slow-paced friendship between Jugyeong and Seojun to form, which was important, because it was meant to bring us to the tipping point wherein Seojun transformed from being that best male friend (and why he stayed being the male best friend), to her boyfriend. The why, of course, is important — but we’ll get to that soon.

In the K-Drama, we’re not allowed the amount of pace. And, more than that, all of Seojun’s friends in the webtoon, who are high school dropouts or older (and therefore were not attending school) I believe, are replaced by the massive group Seojun has in their shared high school. So, the opportunity as is wasn’t really there, and it was later restricted by the time frame of a sixteen-episodes.

I’ll be touching on the fact that they do make up for this with various scenes, various new opportunities, but you can still see how Seojun falls a little short still to compare with his webtoon counterpart.

Speaking of the context further, technically I don’t think Suho “stole” the scene. The act, yes, I’ll admit to that, but not the scene, nor the core of what bonded Jugyeong and Seojun together — Suho didn’t have an external group of friends which he brought Jugyeong to meet, and he certainly didn’t share the street-shopping backgrounds and have a comforting meeting place with Jugyeong there.

I would’ve been more upset if Seojun confronted the bullies himself and returned the wallet to Jugyeong in the webtoon, only for Suho to obviously rob this scene from him in the K-Drama, when it was obviously Seojun’s highlighted moment. But as is, it happened differently.

Suho’s acts could held up as his own, especially since, different than the webtoon, he already saw bare-faced Jugyeong and knew the owner of the wallet [as he’s watched the scene unfold], while Seojun happened to find the wallet and Jugyeong thankfully had her ID, the one with make-up on her face, which led to Seojun keeping it and giving it back to her when they bump into each other later.

They weren’t really any confrontations about insecurities, past mistakes or the truth to be had; for Seojun and Jugyeong, that scene was only a “beginning” (the first of many events to come, the trigger point on how the rest starts), while for Suho, it was a “conclusion” (scenes triggered by other events first, ending with a specific decision).

The Spicy Food

Now, this is where I get a bit iffy? I wasn’t happy with it, simply put. I understand they amended it in episode 9, but — it still happened. And hoo-boy, they weren’t sneaky about it at all.

In the webtoon, Episode 33, Seojun invited Jugyeong to eat tteokbokki with him. Jugyeong wasn’t really feeling up to eat, but she accepted because she likes spicy food. Later, while having the meal together, Seojun is obviously having a hard time eating the spicy food, which Jugyeong internally questioned about.

In the K-Drama, Heegyeong and Mr. Han went on a date, and then we later find out that Mr. Han couldn’t withstand spicy food. He didn’t want to return the meal though, thinking that he would’ve burdened the staff.

Again, one can obviously just argue that, it happened in different context too, just like it did in the Wallet Scene. Or, better yet, that it’s fine, since they did include this in episode 9 in the end. But — the reason I had a problem with this choice of writing was because, unlike the other two examples, not beiong able to handle spicy food is a major, if not a constant, Seojun’s characteristics and behaviour.

That’s a Seojun thing, rather than a simple action, and taking that from him, or basing it off of him, feels a little... lazy.

Mr Han in the webtoon, while he didn’t play a major part and Heegyeong eventually lost interest in him, was a messy eater. They could’ve gone with that route easily. That he’s a messy eater, and Heegyeong finds herself liking it anyway — that is, if, like how I’ve been viewing the direction of the show, they really do want them to be together.

That’s already been apart of Mr. Han’s already-established behaviour, why take it from Seojun?

Which led us to the few bits of how Seojun is stolen beyond simple scenes.

Seojun’s Character

Now, “stolen” is such a big word. It’s right, to an extent, but it’s still such a big word. More than that, I’d say it’s “chipped”? As in, the true essence of what made Seojun so remarkable and strong as a second male lead in the webtoon is taken apart to have it lend to other characters or, equally worse, downplayed in the drama.

I’ve always had such a problem and it’s a MAJOR problem when Seojun, in the K-Drama, told Suho, “You don’t deserve to be happy.”

Straight-up, honest to god? That isn’t Seojun at all.

Yes, he’s upset. And yes, he’s irritated by what he perceived as Suho not coming to his expectation when it came to their shared loss regarding Seyeon and/or what he thought Suho failed to do. These are all true. Seojun is angry, and he’s consistently angry at Suho until they reach their resolution together — but he would never wish that on Suho.

What drove his anger was disappointment, was a sense of hopelessness, was the loss, but it never came from hatred. Seojun felt a lot towards Suho, but hate to the point of wishing someone’s unhappiness was never one of them.

Just having that spoken by Seojun contradicted a lot to how he behaves in the webtoon — which was honestly this upstanding, responsible and caring guy. And he is!

And while I adore Suho and he has a special place in my heart, I do see a stark difference to how Seojun operates if we compare to Suho: Seojun’s always been straightforward with his actions, countlessly working hard once he sets his mind to something (either that by choice, or otherwise i.e. helping his mom pay the bills, and then pursuing a career in being an idol) — he’s a go-getter.

Suho isn’t, not so directly at least. He’s quiet, and he keeps things to himself, and he doesn’t like a show. Which was why a lot of him “helping out” Jugyeong — mostly driving off weird men or confronting them — happened behind the scenes and without anybody’s knowledge. He doesn’t even really wanna acknowledge it after.

Seojun’s direction in life is clear, too. He wants to work right after school, and he does. He wants to treat Jugyeong properly as her romantic partner, and he does. He wants to be an idol and succeed, and he works hard on it.

Suho, on the other hand, not so much. A lot of the major things that did happen to Suho, it happened externally. Something else was pushing him to do an action. Him flying out to Japan due to his father, him returning to Korea etc. Again, this is a lot to do with his mental health as well, which is a separate post altogether, but I just wanted to point this out as comparison.

Rambling over — yes, if you’re not an avid webtoon reader, just know that, that specific line from Seojun? He would never. That was already so out-of-character of him because, as I’ve said and I will say it again, whatever anger Seojun harboured for Suho, it never came from such ugly or raw hatred. He didn’t understand Suho’s motivation after and/or during Seyeon’s death, and I do believe he could lash out from that - but he never held any extreme grudges.

To add, in the webtoon, that line was actually spoken by Suho when he admitted to his therapist that he think he doesn’t deserves to be happy.

This is also a big thing in my opinion, because it shows how differently Seojun and Suho coped — either with Seyeon, or whatever that comes after. Seojun has always been more prone to anger while Suho, either that added by his fluctuating mental health or otherwise, is prone to sadness.

Now, these are two extremely big negative emotions to be associated with our ever-favourite boys, but it’s true. It’s consistent throughout their characters all-through the story (in the webtoon, at least). And it does play a role, because, again, it showcases the difference of characters between Seojun and Suho, and how they react to situations differently. Seojun with his quick-temper, and Suho, easily feeling hopeless.

So, why is it important to know this?

Because a lot of Seojun’s anger, a lot of that deep-rooted aggression — that was transferred to Suho in the K-Drama. And no cap? It shouldn’t have.

3. Why It Worked, Why It Will Never

Let’s go back to the broader subject briefly.

At this point of the K-Drama, which is ten episodes in, I felt a little moot comparing scenes specifically to what had happened in the webtoon. It’s always nice, of course, to critically analyse any form of entertainment so we could always better our watching experiences or give the proper feedbacks to the creative industry, and while I like delving in deep too, I also have to remind myself a lot to not .... take it too seriously, essentially.

Because at this point, obviously the K-Drama has adapted many of the plot points from the webtoon, and re-arranged it to fit into what they deemed to be necessary to work in that timeline. And that’s okay!

For example, while Seojun’s scene was borrowed to other characters, we do get the opportunity to see Seojun being presented slightly differently. We have that new arc regarding his mother, and we see a whole loveable cast of group Seojun has acquired during his time schooling, and Seojun gets a ton more interactive chances with Jugyeong to make up for what they couldn’t do — that is, the slow progress of them becoming truly close friends till they’re in their young adult years — and every scene of them could still hold up as a magnifying and incredible moment as its own.

For example, that scene when Seojun took care of a sick Jugyeong in the bus, and he said (although I’m recalling only from memory), “I don’t like it when people get sick.” Which I think was super sweet and super impactful at the same time. This didn’t happen in the webtoon, but in the K-Drama, among the first scenes they’ve introduced Seojun in was when he was in the hospital visiting his mother; we also learn later that he actually time off from school to do help his parent.

So obviously Seojun’s cautious on anything that’s to do with somebody contracting an illness etc — and not only it showed in that one dialogue, it’s made more brilliant when Seojun, who can’t really afford any expensive jewellery, made Jugyeong a flower-braid bracelet. I think that was such a nice contrast, a nice touch and ugh!!!!!

That really punched me straight into my Seojun x Jugyeong heart.

We also see a different way of them interpreting and putting Sujin brilliantly into the story. I really want to go deeper into this, but I don’t believe I have sufficient enough thoughts beyond the fact that I much prefer the way the K-Drama built up Sujin to compare with how the webtoon placed Sujin. She has more motivation, she has more leverage, and last but not least, she has much more flexibility to become a serious second female lead and rival.

I do have a problem with how they decided to go with Suho, because again, I think all of the extra personality traits are not necessary. Suho doesn’t need to be a good fighter like Seojun had been established to be, and he doesn’t need to be musically passionate, like Seyeon was, because his own personality and character should’ve been enough. He could carry that personality well; he doesn’t need to be “more”.

Which brought us to this: Seojun’s aggressiveness taken by Suho.

To make this short - it just doesn’t work. It didn’t... really feel out of character, per se, but I'm not the biggest fan of it. I felt like, personally, the writers sort of missed the point of what truly made Suho Suho — which was this guy who was more prone to melancholy-based emotion than anything else — and, in return, (again, I’ll be using the word) they “chipped” away at Seojun because of it.

So, what should’ve been Seojun’s distinctive reaction carried specifically by his character, it was shared by Suho.

Suho isn’t unpredictable, he isn’t quick-tempered, and he isn’t fast on his feet. These are all Seojun’s major personality traits. He’s opinionated, yes, and he isn’t afraid to set his boundaries — but mostly, only his own. One of the more primary example I could give from the K-Drama that I think sorta worked at first glance, but didn’t really when you think twice about it, in regards to this, was Suho chasing after Seojun and Jugyeong after a gang of people were running towards them. (This is after the karaoke scene.)

Honestly, rather than just wasting his energy, it’d be more appropriate if Suho calls the cop.

Suho’s incredibly logical, and furiously straightforward. He doesn’t precisely need to be running around for — what? What was he achieving anyways in the K-Drama by running after the gang? See how it sorta doesn’t make sense? So, yes, if it doesn’t make sense - Suho wouldn’t.

Again, this circles back to how the different way the boys coped or react, as I mentioned earlier, and it’s important to be distinctive with these because both boys are two separate individuals with two different ways of seeing the world and taking them in, and, cheesy as I may, representation matters.

And when it isn’t represented properly, and I’ll be repeating this over and over: Seojun’s character seems like it’s “chipped away”. Not stolen, no, because it’s still there but — what should’ve been an emotion his specific character should harbour, it feels ... lacklustre, almost. Like a joke: what makes Seojun’s anger so “special” compared to the obvious internalised rage Suho seems to have [in the K-Drama]?

4. How Is Seojun and Suho Dynamic Ruined?

Simply put: observe the way the writers put Seojun and Suho when it comes to Jugyeong.

In the K-Drama, it’s constant rivalry between the boys — driven, of course, by Suho’s possibly deteriorating mental health and the insecurity that came with. But it was also easily flamed by Seojun making jabs and/or crossing the boundaries by being there when he shouldn’t have been.

Now, I’m not into the whole Team Seojun vs. Team Suho thing because the real tea is, that just isn’t Seojun and Suho.

And when the K-Drama writers failed to incorporate how exactly Seojun and Suho had been when both boys clearly shared an affection towards the same person, Jugyeong, I feel like — out of everything, that’s when they lost the biggest essence of what made these two men who they are.

Because Seojun and Suho? They were mad respectful towards each other.

I think one of the most memorable and important scene, and I carry this in my heart, was when Jugyeong was supposed to go out on that date with Suho, and they promised each other — but then Suho’s father got into an accident, and Jugyeong wasn’t reachable because she broke her phone.

You know who showed up to that date to inform Jugyeong? It was Seojun.

And it was Seojun again who came to pick Jugyeong up and got into the taxi to the airport to see Suho off. Seojun was the one who gave Jugyeong and Suho some time to say goodbye between themselves, tapping Jugyeong on the back when he walks away. That’s how far Seojun really cared for the girl he loves: he was willing to let her love the person she likes.

He was supportive, without being discriminating.

And it was the same again when it’s reversed. During the whole time Seojun and Jugyeong were dating, Suho never once showcased that he was dissatisfied or he wasn’t happy with the development. In fact, again and again, he was supportive. He put in good words for Seojun, he encouraged Jugyeong to always work it out between her and Seojun.

Of course, there are hiccups here and there — but that was the true essence, I believe, of the Seojun-and-Suho dynamic.

Even despite the misunderstanding, even through the romantic interest coming in between them, there will always have this big respect to not go behind one another and put the other down, I think. They would confront, and have their clashing moments face-to-face (but never too aggressively because Suho’s weak and often pulls back lol), but very rarely does it go further than that.

Even when they’re driven with anger, jealousy, or disappointment — you could tell that the bond they’ve shared from their middle school and with Seyeon were always somehow stronger.

And yes, you could argue that maybe, in this point of the K-Drama, they aren’t reconciled yet, which is why they acted the way they did. But I feel like? That didn’t matter? Because, in episode 10, we could clearly see Seojun having the capability of being supportive and putting his good faith in Suho, despite not being on good terms with the guy (e.g. when he advised, “Suho would never do that to you.”) even though that’s quickly tarnished when Seojun, in the same breath, quickly suggest for a break-up.

I don’t really have any defence for Suho because I already felt like him expressing constant aggression towards Seojun is already wrong, misplaced, or poorly written — so whatever action that came after always came a bit off for me. For example, rather than putting the blame for his own jealousy towards Seojun or Jugyeong (i.e. episode eight in its entirety), Suho is the kind of person to blame himself. He would feel that he lacked something, that it was him that wasn’t enough, that it must be him that’s done something to push Jugyeong, or anybody, away.

(Again, echoing his admittance: “I don’t think I deserve to be happy.” or, if we’re going with the K-Drama route, from Seojun’s accusation.)

5. Why They Didn’t Need To Change At All

The worst part of knowing or realising these small details is that, the story could still work. It could still move the characters forward, and have the relatively same outcome i.e. Suho lashing out by the end, threatened by his own insecurity that Jugyeong might prefer Seojun after all etc — but instead, we have these amazing characters that came off at 90% in the drama adaptation, but the 10% that really mattered to their characters weren’t mixed in well enough.

So, the question comes: how exactly should they be acting?

First, Suho’s often more calm — the calmest, in fact, between the Suho-Jugyeong-Seojun trio. This still doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any pent-up guilt, or sadness, or even aggression, but it rarely ever comes out violently. Even if it does, in any shape or form, mostly the emotions are fired back towards himself i.e. experiencing massive self-loathing, self-doubt, which, of course, may in return affect his interpersonal relationships.

Episode 10 played this out nicely, in fact: because we do have a scene where Suho’s being incredibly understanding and respectful in the beginning, but then little things and mistimed events built up (without proper explanations from the other party, to add) and he essentially imploded on himself i.e. lashing out, spiralling, having a mental breakdown, and by the end of it, (trigger warning ahead) committing suicide and/or self-harming himself by walking freely and stopping in the middle of traffic.

Secondly, Seojun could’ve still held so much anger at Suho for what happened with Seyeon and had fallen for Jugyeong all the while, but he could still stay in-character by never explicitly trying to constantly put Suho down. It just goes against a character so substantial for putting his all towards the people he loves, or have loved. And Seojun have loved Suho as a best friend - so for him to act the way he did, to say that line ( “You don’t deserve to be happy” ) especially, that makes me sad.

6. Conclusion

True Beauty, on the surface, will always be a light-hearted romance comedy that honestly has very interesting and well thought-of characters that... don’t necessarily stand out, I don’t think, among other high school K-Drama, but it does represent young adults or teens who seemed to “look like they’re doing well” but a lot of us really aren’t. We’re just figuring things out as we go along, and that’s what Suho, Seojun and Jugyeong seemed to be doing with us: they’re figuring things out as they go along, too.

In the end, there really isn’t much of a point expressing these thoughts except that it gives me simple pleasures, and if it can attract a few people who loves True Beauty too, I would simply die of appreciation. I hope a lot of the K-Drama audience can have a slight knowledge that, yes, Seojun is absolutely super kind, way kinder than he’s been portrayed on screen, and yes, Suho isn’t normally that possessive - protective, yes - he never stalks or particularly demands anything out of Jugyeong though.

Okay, before this got too long again, I thank you for reading!

Feel Free To Ask Me Anything

#True Beauty #Lee Suho #Han Seojun #i did this over three days like.....#why #why must i? but i must #i think its mostly triggered by seojun's ''you dont deserve to be happy'' line #like..... he did that man dirty #and i am here to TELL IT LIKE IT IS!#i feel like... its one thing to make a typical two men in rivalry over the same lady trope #but its another when.... its canon that these two men #are actually very astounding and very good people #i dont know #its just been in my head #since episode 8 i think #and i need this OUT #True Beauty Meta

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 3 years

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If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Ninety Nine

A/N: This is the last bit of spam today, promise. :P

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

July 8th, 1986

Remy looked around, making sure no one was watching him, as he clicked the two G.I. Joes’ faces together for a kiss. He was playing “wedding,” and yeah, that might not be the manliest thing he had ever done, but he wanted to have one wedding—just one—where boys who liked boys could kiss each other and not go to Hell. He hoped that this wouldn’t land him in trouble with God, but right now, he hardly cared. Because as he made the two action figures smooch, he thought about how one day, that might be him, kissing another boy in church. That boy’s face wasn’t clear, but he knew one thing: he wanted that day to come.

And he would go through Hell or high water to ensure that it did.

Remy was pacing the length of the room, hands shaking and heart hammering in his chest. Was he really ready for this? He definitely loved Emile, yeah, but getting married was a terrifying prospect. He’d be seeing all of Emile’s family, and all of both of their friends, and some of Remy’s family and family friends too. Most of whom didn’t know he was gay until they sent the wedding invitations. What was going to happen? How was he going to survive this? What if something went wrong? What if—

There was a knock on the open door, and Toby was standing there, hand on the doorknob as he leaned into the room. “Are you okay, Rem?” he asked.

“No,” Remy laughed, feeling tears come to his eyes. “God, I’m gonna mess this up, Toby, Emile’s whole family is gonna see me make a fool of myself, who knows if Emile will want to be with me after this—”

Toby walked over and put his hands on Remy’s shoulders. “Hey, no, Rem. You’re going to do great, okay? I just came over from where your future husband is getting ready. I was making sure he had everything he needed, and he said you’d probably be freaking out, so I should focus on you.”

Remy giggled slightly hysterically. “Emile knows me like the back of his hand,” he said inanely. “Tobes, I might die if I go out there.”

“No, you won’t,” Toby said, giving Remy’s shoulders a squeeze. “Look, I’ll be up there with you, and so will Emile’s best man...uh...Theo?”

Theo, yeah,” Remy said, shaking. “Toby...what if I screw up? What if I cry?”

“You won’t screw up, and Emile won’t love you any less if you cry, okay?” Toby reassured him. “You’ll do fine, Remy. I, for one, cannot wait to see you marry the man of your dreams. I’m so impossibly thankful Emile found me for today. You’re gonna go out there, say your vows, and you’ll have the excuse to kiss your husband in front of everyone for several seconds.” Remy laughed at that, and Toby smiled. “You ready now?”

“I guess,” Remy said, swallowing.

They could hear the Wedding March start up, and Remy felt his heart stop. “That’s our cue,” Toby teased, offering his arm to Remy.

Interlocking elbows, Remy and Toby walked out of the room and to the back of the church. Emile and Theo were already almost at the front, and Remy felt his knees go weak as he saw Emile turn in his tux and his eyes lit up when he saw Remy. Toby walked him down the aisle, and stood silent vigil behind him as Remy turned to face Emile.

So here he was, standing at the altar, staring at the man who he fully intended to spend the rest of his life with. Emile had gone for the traditional black tuxedo, while Remy had decided to do the inverse, with white tux and black shirt. They were both grinning like mad, and Remy thought there would never be a day that he was happier. He could barely register the words of the priest, if he were being completely honest. All he could focus on was Emile, staring at him with all the love that his fiancé- husband, he reminded himself-could muster...love for him. And he knew he was getting weepy.

As they said their vows, Remy’s voice started to get choked up, and by the end of them, when the priest declared them husbands, he was outright sobbing. Emile laughed, kindly, and pulled him in for a tender kiss. Remy couldn’t think of a better day he could possibly have.

The audience clapped, and everyone cheered as they made their way out of the church and into the cool Massachusetts air. Everyone threw rice at them, and Remy and Emile were laughing, both at the sheer joy they had and the antics all their family and friends were doing. All that was left on the itinerary was to enjoy the reception, and Remy knew that they were going to enjoy it. One day, that even if Emile hadn’t been accepted into his first pick at grad school, both of them couldn’t find it in them to worry about the future.

At the reception, they all ate and Remy noticed with some amusement that Toby and Emile’s grandfather were having an animated discussion about faith. Clara, Theo, and all their college friends were chatting excitedly, throwing pleased looks at Remy and Emile like they had a bet going on who would kiss who the most tonight.

Guests were chatting with each other as they all sat down at the tables during the wedding reception. Toby, still in his tux, stood and clinked his spoon against his glass, and everyone grew quiet. “I’d like to make a toast to the grooms,” he said, turning to look at Remy and Emile, still holding hands even as they turned to look at him expectantly. “Now, I’ve never been much of one for long-winded speeches, so I’ll try to keep this short. We’ll see how long that lasts because this is my baby brother we’re talking about, and I could ramble about him for hours at a time.”

A laugh went up among the crowd, and Remy was turning pink while Emile just looked teary-eyed.

“Remy, ever since you started to talk I knew you were going to be something special. You’re incredibly smart in ways most people may not consider intelligence, but those who love you know better. Over the past few years, you’ve relearned kindness, and compassion, when the world has given you everything except that. You’ve learned to strike out on your own path when people try to shove you into their own neat little boxes that don’t fit you. You laugh, and joke, and show happiness like I’ve never seen before, all thanks to your husband here.

“Emile, I haven’t known you very long. The first time we talked was when you were helping Remy the Thanksgiving of your freshman year of college, and we didn’t speak again until you sent that private eye after me. Really, I had no clue what you wanted with me, and at the time I was a little worried you might bash my teeth in.” That sent another ripple of laughter through the crowd. “But no. You just wanted to make sure that I could be there for my brother, because you both knew our parents would never tell you where I’d gone. And I’ve never been more excited—or relieved—that Remy found someone who would go the extra mile, just for him.

“This is going to sound cliché, but in my mind, you two were made for each other. I couldn’t be happier to see the two of you together, ‘til death do you part.’ I hope that when the two of you are together, you get to feel infinity, like you two are the only two people in the universe. Emile, I’ve never been more excited to have a brother-in-law, and Remy, I love you so much. Cheers to the grooms, everyone! May they both have their happily ever after!”

“I love you too, Tobes!” Remy exclaimed, sipping his champagne and crying just a little again.

Dinner passed all too quickly, and soon, the DJ was asking Remy and Emile to stand up for their first dance as a married couple. Remy’s hands slid into place on Emile’s body, and they crossed the dancefloor to “Wonderwall” (so sue them—they both loved the song and Remy thought it applied). Emile was staring at Remy like he was Emile’s entire world, and Remy knew that he couldn’t tear his gaze from Emile even if he wanted to.

They glided across the dancefloor, sneaking little kisses as they brushed up against each other, and as they danced to the chorus and Emile snuck another kiss, Remy laughed. Because in that moment, he absolutely felt infinity at his fingertips, and his infinity’s name was Emile...Thomas...Picani.

Tag List: @escalatingtoofast @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @determination-saved @voidvirgil

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #emile picani #ts sleep #our creations

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