#sorry also that tumblr crop is bad.. i stopped caring :)

[scouting4love]

1 in the morning, no one up, usagi posting hours

#ooo eepy... goodnight #miyamoto usagi #jotaro usagi #tomoe ame #kitsune #mariko #kenichi #kenmarsagi #he frew up 🥺 #i think usagi just showing up for 3 days to bother mariko and kenichi then leaving for 2 months without a word is funny.... #they also take him camping 🥺 even tho Bad Things happen to him #sorry also that tumblr crop is bad.. i stopped caring :) #my art #usagi yojimbo #do NOT make fun of my spelling i draw at 2 in the morning or at work. #catholic school girls au

[fountainpenguin]

How did cosmo get fairy kids banned?

Hello, thank you for the ask! Sorry for the delay, I've been on Tumblr hiatus for a while.

Short answer: "Cosmo's Terrible Twos were dramatic and bad"

Background

~ In my fanfics, the official answer is that Fairy World put a temporary block on reproduction because they wanted to spend more time investigating the effects of a weird mutation that had cropped up in some fairy kids.

~ The plan was always to lift it "someday in the future," but Timmy forced the Fairy Council's hand by wishing for Cosmo and Wanda to have a kid.

~ Only the "common fairy" subspecies carries the mutation. Or, more specifically, children of common fairies who crossbred with other races. This means other species under the general Fairy umbrella don't carry the mutation and were not banned from reproducing

-> This was my explanation for why we see fae younger than Cosmo in some episodes [Ex: university students]

-> This also means Cosmo is not the youngest fairy in my worldbuilding, but there are only a small handful of kids born after him. No pregnancies were forcibly canceled.

Side-Comments on Lifting the Ban

~ After Poof, the Council just lifted the ban because it had been like 300k years, plus they didn't have much support to keep it when [canonically] it was never officially added to Da Rules as anything more than a sticky note.

-> In my work, the next fairy baby born after Poof is Whistle [His blog tag is "Snazzy sequel son"]. Whistle is a big fanboy of Poof, Foop, and Goldie, probably because they're all celebrities and his parents are obsessed with trying to be better than Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof. Cosmo and Wanda literally do not care and just try to smile and keep the peace.

-> His counterpart [Soren, AKA Anti-Whistle, AKA "Panicked sequel son"] is a nervous suck-up who tags on Foop's heels a lot. They are ex-roommates and not friends.

The Mutation

The mutation prevents a fairy from correctly managing some of the nutrients their body needs to produce magic. Fairies with the mutation also exhaust their magic quickly [especially the males; generally the stereotype is male fae have more powerful bursts but females have more endurance and can use magic longer without a rest, so Cosmo's at a definite endurance disadvantage].

~ Cosmo has to drink nursing milk to get the nutrients he needs to use magic because his body never learned to produce them on his own.

-> When he doesn't drink milk for a while, he can just produce small sparks, if anything.

-> I haven't shown this in Frayed Knots as much as I would like to, but sometimes Anti-Cosmo straight-up can't use magic. A.C. has a habit of just... not using magic much in Knots because he's often reading or traveling, but we'll see more of that during the war. When Anti-Cosmo's magic fails, it's because Cosmo hasn't been drinking milk and, as the host counterpart, Cosmo has to do that to support Anti-Cosmo's ability to use magic.

-> I absolutely do not put it past Cosmo "Lock Juandissimo in the freezer because I don't like him" Cosma to stop drinking milk sometimes to frustrate A.C. just because he gets petty, lol.

Cosmo's Magic

~ Cosmo carries the mutation. It's named the Cosma Mutation because he became the poster child for it after his Terrible Twos (i.e. the event that caused Jorgen to label Cosmo "cute and deadly," and thereafter led the Fairy Council to determine he was so deadly that more mutations needed to be prevented until further study).

~ There is honestly nothing to study about the mutation; it doesn't do anything the Council needs to be concerned about, it really just comes down to bodies needing milk. It's Not That Deep™

~ Cosmo has a lot of magic in his body, especially compared to Anti-Cosmo. In my fanfics, the magical abilities that counterparts share are called "magic pools" and the size of a pool is inherited. Here are some old notes:

Jorgen for example has a very large pool because he's from a genetically pure line. However, his share of the pool is smaller than Cupid's share. Cupid's family specifically bred to ensure the cherubs held significant power, even if it meant pairing up outside the aristocracy or crossbreeding; they did not care for status, only power. Cupid is undeniably one of the most powerful fae out there, rivaled only by his own family members.

Fun fact: In both "The Same Game" and the live-action movie "Grow Up, Timmy Turner," Cosmo is visibly portrayed as burning through his magic faster than Wanda (In one he explodes first, in the other his health meter hits the critical danger zone before Wanda's and Poof's health bars even get close).

Cosmo's Terrible Twos

When Cosmo's Terrible Twos hit, it was very destructive because there was a lot of power in Cosmo's body. It's irrelevant that he was young at the time; he had high amounts of power and no restraint.

Specifically [in my 'fics], baby Cosmo is famous for setting up a bubble around Fairy World's capital city - Faeheim - which sealed off a lot of people. He didn't lift the bubble and a lot of Fairies asphyxiated from lack of incoming magic. Among the lost fae were Queen Shoulath [one of the common fairy leaders] and Cosmo's own father.

-> Queen Shoulath is the mother of Prince Eastkal [i.e. the fairy prince who dies during the flashbacks in "Balance of Flour"]. With both the queen and prince gone, the royal line ends with King Northiae after the war. Mentioning this since it's a political side plot in both Origin of the Pixies and Frayed Knots.

-> Cosmo's dad [Robin Sr.] died trying to get Cosmo out of that situation; Cosmo barely remembers him and blames himself even though he didn't have control of the situation.

-> Schnozmo holds a lot of resentment towards Cosmo towards this, even though he also feels guilty because Cosmo was a baby.

-> Anti-Cosmo actually doesn't blame Cosmo. He's a little bitter and sad about the fact that his own father is dead, but despite all his faults, Anti-Cosmo is pretty rational and doesn't see a point in getting upset at him for something he couldn't control. Kind of for the best honestly because even though A.C. misses his dad throughout Knots, Anti-Robin Sr. was pretty flawed and wouldn't have been the best father figure. A.C.'s honestly happier living with the fantasy of him.

Basically, the Fairy Council sort of blamed Cosmo's "cute and deadly" vibes on the nutrient mutation he has and stopped the common fairy subspecies from reproducing. However it was really the Terrible Twos here that led to the destruction.

Thanks for asking!

#Fairly OddParents #FOP #asks #Dragonfly parents #Origin of the Pixies #Frayed Knots #ridwriting #FAIRIES! #Purple hippie dragonfly #Snazzy sequel son #Panicked sequel son #The toughest tag #Fairly Odd Baby #This Is Your Wish #Balance of Flour #Whoever made this new Tumblr post system :/ I hate it

[j-reau]

a hiatus or something

I didn’t want to post this. I told myself to give it until morning and sleep but I’ve been laying here for over an hour and I can’t sleep and I know I’m not going to sleep until I get it out. And I decided I’m not going to do the pretend things don’t bother us mentality that tumblr likes, the don’t show emotions on the dashboard, don’t let people know you’re hurt or angry out of fear it’ll be seen as ~drama or whatever thing stop me from just saying how I feel. Because I feel pretty shitty? I’ve been feeling shitty for a few days now. Maybe more. Last week I told myself that the drama that had randomly cropped up was just too much and I wasn’t going to let tumblr be something that made me cry or panic or kept me up at night over bullshit like arguing with someone over things that happened years ago. So I set my focus on my friends, on my dashboard, on reminding myself why I love RP and why I’ve been in it for this many years, for so long, with all of these people. Those Valentines I posted were part of that project for me. It was a reminder, for myself and my dash about all of the human connection that happens here, all the people we meet, all the little pieces of each other we take on and take with us, all the ships, all the conversations, however brief.  From the people we just see on our dash to the ones we talk to about all our fears and insecurities. And how all of it matters. 

I know how much we all love to say calm down gregg, it’s tumblr RP. I know how we all loathe this hellsite when we’re being our worst. I know how we all talk about how we’re too old for this now or we’re tired. We’re just here to write. I’m just here to write. I love writing. But what brings us all back time and time again, what keeps us here is the fact that it’s not just tumblr RP. It’s a community. Whether you have a real life that keeps you busy or your whole life is here, whether you have plenty of friends offline or all your closes people live on discord, we’re all people. And we all take this with us. We make friendships and we talk to each other. We open ourselves up to the constant trust and fear of interaction, of  plotting, of who is going to reach out or send the meme. We build friendships based on that, we care for each other, we see each other’s bad days on the dash, and great days and inspiration. And it means something. It may just be tumblr RP, but it matters to us. Because of the people here, because we give a fuck about each other. Or at least I’ve always liked to hope we do. I have friends on this website I’ve had for ten years, some just for 3, and others just a few months. It always floors me how we can always come back to it, how we stick with each other or don’t, how we see the good and the bad and the ugly. 

So to get on with it, I wrote those Valentines.  I hit refresh on my blog and put the weird random drama in the past and moved forward. I made this blog for JJ only about 3 months ago. I don’t know how I got 500 followers in that short time but I did. And it’s. been the wildest experience I can possibly explain, having that happen so quickly, finding so many people out in the RPC that I hadn’t before on my other blogs. I felt fucking good. I was excited. Not just to write a character I had wanted to and loved for years but to find so many people who I vibed with. I remember writing a post about a month in and being so fucking ... floored. By how much I loved you all, by how amazing it was to be received like that still, to find people my age and who wrote things I liked and loved their female characters. I fucking love JJ. I LOVE THE SHIT out of my partners on this blog, even the new people I’m still itching to write with. And yet, I did that little refresh, posted my valentines , got ready to go and felt .... sad. 

I tried to explain it. I tried to tell myself it was a bad mood. I hoped maybe it was medication. But I couldn’t shake the weird funk. And everywhere I looked it seemed like things were .... not good. My friends taking breaks, people feeling sad too, relationships splitting, people I liked and respected separating themselves. Tonight, one of my closest friends I’ve made on this blog blocked me. Someone I adored and trusted and absolutely loved to write with. Tumblr says we’re not supposed to care. That we’re supposed to let people draw their lines in the sand and take their leave and maybe we are. Maybe it’s important to let people make their choices. But I also think it’s important as fuck to talk to your friends, to mean what you say when you tell someone they’re important to you. I think it’s important that we remember on the other side of every blog and discord user is a person. Who has bad days and bad feelings and cries and feels insecure and tells themselves it’s just tumblr RP even when they know somehow it feels heavier when it’s bad. This was a friend I had talked to at length about all of those exact things, about how personal the community can feel sometimes, about feeling replaceable or invisible, even for the toughest most confident most take no shit people. I’ve always considered myself a pretty tough, confident, take no shit person. I think anyone who has known me for as many years as I’ve been around has seen that first hand. I don’t like how sad I’ve felt lately. I don’t like the insecurity that’s making me want to know why things feel way or why people vanish without so much as an explanation. I had to block a mutual last week I saw making fun of me on their twitter. A mutual. Someone who chose to follow me and on a public place where my other friends could see it made fun of what I posted. And I just don’t know what we’re doing anymore. It didn’t bother me. I don’t have hurt feelings over it. That’s the kind of stuff I definitely know I’m confident about. But .... it did really fucking floor me. Because here we are, on a sight where users talk about positivity and not sending anon hate, and we can treat each other like that. 

I’ve been sitting up in bed for hours trying to figure out what to say or what to do. That’s what I do I guess. I try to figure out what to do, how we fix it, like somehow there’s some unified we and some responsibility to make things better. A lot of you have only known me for a few months so this probably sounds all kinds of nuts. And you’re probably going JJ you’ve been an emotional mess since the moment we met you. Because I feel like that’s how it’s been for the last few months. But that’s not how it’s always been for me. That’s not who I am. So for now I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I do. Instead of sitting here and spinning and trying to figure out how we as a community fix these gaping holes and the way we talk about each other like we’re disposable and treat each other like names on a list instead of people. 

For now, I think what I do is take a little break. It’s the very thing I don’t want to do. Because it feels like quitting and it feels like being scared away. So I feel the need to promise whoever has read all of this and myself that that’s not what it is. Maybe I’ll be back in two days, maybe two weeks, who knows. But I need a break. From whatever this feeling is that seems to have come over things lately. I’ve loved these few months on this blog so much. And maybe that’s half the problem. Maybe I got spoiled and this is the come down. Maybe I’m just an idiot who thinks what we all want on this website is to find people and love each other and write together. I never knew that me -- the person often accused of being aloof and feelingsless and distant would somehow turn into the emotional bitch on this website but here we are I guess. I just don’t know how to navigate this anymore. I don’t know how to put my heart into relationships and friendships that can just be switched off like we can just stop caring about people. I don’t know how to ignore people who say horrible things and do horrible things to each other just because we don’t want to see it on our dashes. I don't know how to give enough of everything to everyone so that every single one of my mutuals and partners knows they’re valuable to me. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish. I don’t know when I got to be so much of a raw, frayed edge on tumblr dot com but that’s how I feel. And I hope in a few days or sometime soon I’ll have an answer or at least get my hard shell back.

I want to keep writing. I want to keep talking to you guys. I don’t want to lose anyone. I truly mean what I say when I say you’re all important to me. I plan to still be around on discord. I’ll write on discord if anyone wants to keep writing. If we aren’t discord friends yet and you want to be, send a message. I plan to come back. I don’t want to abandon anything. I’m so deeply fucking sorry for this rant, for all the overflow of feelings lately, for anyone that’s had to listen to them, for putting them on your dashes, for fucking all of it. Please be good to each other. Please talk to each other. Please remember that if we’ve crossed paths at any point on this blog, I value you. I value all of your friendships, your writing, your shitposts, your dash commentary, your tiktoks you dump at me on discord. I love you. Every last fucking one of you. 

#💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼💛 #i am dead fucking serious please feel free to stay in touch i just #need my dash closed for a while #message me if you want my discord

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 65 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Chapter 65 seems like a good time to tell you that there’s nothing we love more than talking to you guys about this story! We are both on tumblr (@theartificialdane and @veronicasanders) and we’d love to hear from you!! We also have other Galactica content there under the “galactica” and “galactica wardrobe” tags. XOXO!! Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Bianca threw a wrench in the annual holiday party when she brought Courtney as her date, and Katya tried to (not) deal with her surprise pregnancy.

This Chapter: Miss Fame and the team work on the final lineup for the spring runway, and Katya figures some things out.

***

It was Violet’s luck that she was a light sleeper, the first note of her alarm barely ringing before she had grabbed her phone from under her pillow and turned it off.

There really wasn't a need for Violet to wake up at 6, for her to start her day so early since she couldn’t go to the gym because of her ankle, but habits were hard to break, and she liked how quiet the world was in the morning, how it felt like she was the only one awake.

She wasn’t hungover, had barely had a drink because of her crutches, but she had a feeling all of her coworkers would be wearing sunglasses and asking each other to shut up, the Friday after the Christmas party always an experience.

Sutan’s bedroom was dark, his curtains swallowing the ever present lights of Harlem, the man asleep next to her, his head resting on his pillow.

It took everything in Violet not to reach out and run her fingers through his hair.

She had been so annoyed with him last night, so uncomfortable in the beautiful red dress she had bought with his money, the simmering anger not leaving her until she had felt Sutan’s clever fingers undo the zipper on her back, skin against skin finally freeing her from the smoldering fire.

“Stop staring at me.” Violet froze, Sutan’s voice deep with sleep.

“I’m not.”

“Oh?” Sutan cracked an eye open, a smile playing on his lips as he reached out, grabbing her hip on top of her blanket. “Could have fooled me.”

“Well,” Violet smiled back, allowing him to pull her in, “Maybe I was. A little bit.”

***

As her alarm sounded, Courtney groaned, burying her head into Bianca’s neck. Bianca laughed, reaching over to hit snooze, giving them a few more precious minutes in bed before Courtney had to get up.

Bianca had never been much of a morning person, but she’d discovered that, in many ways, this was her favorite part of the day. When the world was dark and still, and they were curled together under the covers, naked and warm. She trailed her fingers up and down Courtney’s back, pressed a kiss to her temple.

“You okay, sunshine?” Bianca asked.

“Mmmhmm...I just don’t want to go to work.”

Bianca smiled, one hand settling into the curve of Courtney’s waist, enjoying the way they fit so perfectly together.

“Then don’t,” she stated, warming up to the idea of taking a day off, just the two of them. “Call in sick.”

“I wish,” Courtney scoffed, a deep sigh leaving her. “But I can’t, so…”

“Why not?”

“The day after a party? Everyone will think I have some crazy hangover.”

“Yeah, so?” Bianca laughed.

“Plus, I’m pretty sure Miss Fame is less than pleased with me right now. I don’t want to give her any reason to be annoyed. And there’s a big meeting to decide on the spring runway, and I have to-”

“Alright, alright...forget I suggested it,” Bianca said, holding up her hands in surrender. “I just really liked the idea of spending all day in bed with you.”

Courtney raised herself up on her elbow, gazing down at Bianca with a dreamy smile on her face.

“Maybe, um...can we do that tomorrow?”

“You’re on, angel,” Bianca said, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair.

“And...we still have about seven minutes before the alarm goes off again.” Courtney brushed her lips against Bianca’s neck, murmuring, “You wanna go back to sleep, or…?”

“Hmmm...” Bianca cocked her head, pretending to think. “I may have some other ideas…”

Courtney let out a delighted squeal as Bianca flipped her onto her back with a wicked grin.

***

Maxwell groaned as a loud clatter sounded through the design floor.

“Sorry!” Kiara whisper-shouted, quickly picking up the pair of scissors she had dropped. Trixie had gone to the department head meeting about 20 minutes ago, which meant that everyone had given up the pretense that they were working. Alexis had gone straight for the couch to take a nap as soon as the door had closed behind him, April still nursing a terrible-looking green smoothie at her desk. “Sorry everyone!”

“Don’t even think about it girl!” Bob smiled, his phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear, and Maxwell groaned again, sliding down so he could rest his head on his arms, Bob chatting away.

He loved his boyfriend, he really did, but there were few things more annoying than when Bob had managed to get into any tabloid, the perceived fame of it always going directly to his head. And of course, it was made even worse by his friends and family back home in Georgia playing right into it, acting as if it meant anything at all.

“Listen, I didn’t ask to be born fabulous, but it’s my cross to bear, and I’m-” Bob laughed, adding, “Exactly!”

“He’s really getting into it, huh?” Maxwell looked up to see Violet standing next to his desk, looking over at Bob, Jovan at her side holding three cups of coffee.

“Here,” Jovan smiled, giving one of them to Maxwell, the scent filling his nose.

“Oh god I love you,” Maxwell grinned, taking the liquid magic. It was probably not healthy to be on his third cup already, but he didn’t care.

“Love you too boo,” Jovan grinned, taking a seat on the edge of his desk, Violet doing the same, balancing her crutch so she could take her own cup. They didn’t talk, and Maxwell loved that, Violet fitting so nicely into their little boys club that he barely even thought about the fact that she was a girl and straight most days.

***

“Pearl! Pay attention!”

Pearl snapped out of it, the wheels of her chair squeaking as she moved, her eyes wide open at the commanding tone in Fame’s voice.

“Sorry!” Pearl sat up straight, Bendela hiding a snicker behind a sketchbook, her brown eyes clearly filled with delight over Pearl getting reprimanded.

“God,” Fame rolled her eyes, her hand on her hip, her outfit of the day a white cropped cashmere sweater and white linen high waisted pants, her blonde hair in a high delicate updo, a golden belt snug around her waist. “Did anyone come to work today?”

If they had been alone, Pearl would have opened her mouth to point out that she was the one who always arranged for the Christmas party to be on a Thursday, but they weren’t, so Pearl kept her mouth shut.

“Fame,” Raja’s voice was warm, and it apparently functioned just as intended, her tone a soothing balm on whatever had Fame into such a tizzy. “We’re almost done.”

If Pearl had to make an educated guess, she’d say it was probably the whole Courtney and Bianca thing, though it could be anything from her breakfast grapefruit not being ripe to morning traffic to a photographer catching a bad angle of her last night.

“You’re right,” Fame sat back down, sliding her chair over to Trixie. “So, fourth look. What do you have?”

“I was thinking about these pants?” Trixie held out a sketch, and Pearl folded her hands over her stomach, watching her best friend do his job exceptionally well.

Fame tapped her fingers against the table, french tips hitting the wood and Pearl made a mental note to see if she could sneak in a visit to Fame’s office, providing their boss with an orgasm before lunch a great Christmas gift to everyone in the company.

***

V-List Alert: BDR’s Latest Blonde Bombshell

[Pictured: A large photo of Bianca and Courtney kissing on the red carpet, along with a few smaller shots of them looking giggly and affectionate. And lastly, a grainy, low-res photo of them on the street after the event, kissing while a driver is opening the car door.]

Well, well, well…

Okay, so to begin with, let’s all admit that BDR showing up on a red carpet with some sweet young thing is nothing new. In fact, it would be strange if she didn’t. But the shameless PDA last night at Galactica’s annual Christmas party—both on and off the carpet—had us wondering...who the hell is the new paramour?

We did a bit of digging and strap in kids, cause it gets juicy…

Turns out that this little darling is named Courtney Jenek. Sound familiar? No? Yeah it shouldn’t. But she happens to have two very interesting connections to BDR: 1, apparently she’s friends with B’s baby sister, princess of the underground punk scene Adore Delano. And 2, even more hilariously, Lil Courtney here is the Executive Assistant to none other than Miss Fame of Galactica.

Wonder what the illustrious and brand-conscious Miss Fame thinks of her bestie using her staff in what appears to be an extremely filthy unprofessional way? And how’s it all gonna play out?

We can’t wait to watch this drama unfold…

***

As Courtney slipped on her coat and grabbed her bag to head downstairs for yet another coffee run, she glanced at her personal phone, laughing to herself when she saw the 17 missed calls from Morgan. She scrolled through the text messages in the elevator.

MORGAN: COURTNEYYYYYYYY!!!

MORGAN: OMG PICK UP

MORGAN: WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL US YOU’RE FUCKING BIANCA DEL RIO?????

TYRA: She’s WHAT

ADORE: You guys didn’t know? ;)

TATIANNA: Yawn, old news :p

MORGAN: BITCH

MORGAN: COURTNEY I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T PICK UP

MORGAN: COURTNEYCOURTNEYCOURTNEYCOURTNEYCOURTNEY

Courtney called her back, laughing some more when she picked up even before the first ring.

“You know I’m working, right?”

“I am going to murder you,” Morgan announced.

“Wow Morgan. A hate crime? I really thought more highly of you,” Courtney replied with a giggle.

“Omigod, shut up! How could you not have told me already?!”

“Well...I don’t know, I wasn’t sure what it was at first-” she said.

“It’s still fucking major!” Morgan laughed. “I guess it makes sense, though. God, you always chose the worst men.”

Courtney chuckled, nodding as she exited the elevator and headed for the coffee shop.

“So what did your parents say?”

“Uhhh...I haven’t exactly told them yet.”

“Courtney!”

“What? It’s not gonna be dramatic or anything, you know my brother’s gay.”

“Omigod, Court, you absolute idiot. You have to-”

“One sec.” Courtney lowered her phone to give the orders for the meeting, then went back to the phone. “Sorry, I’m on a coffee run.”

“Yeah, I heard. Listen, Courtney, you have to tell them! Do you really want them to find out that you’re dating a woman who’s almost twice your age from a fucking tabloid?”

“I don’t think my parents subscribe to American fashion blogs.”

“Did you even read the link I sent you?! Someone’s gonna send it to them, trust me.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell them,” Courtney told her with an eye roll. She really didn’t see the big deal though; telling her parents was the last thing on her list of worries at the moment.

“Also…” Morgan’s voice lowered, taking on a sing-song, teasing tone now that the business was out of the way, “When are we hanging out? ‘Cause you know I absolutely need all the sordid details.”

“Soon, I promise.”

“Tomorrow night?”

“I’m kind of busy tomorrow,” Courtney admitted.

“Busy getting railed, you mean?”

“Maybe…”

“Ha, you slag.”

***

Maybe she was avoiding going home. That was certainly possible. But on Friday, Katya just seemed to keep finding things to do to prepare for the next week of school. It would be their last week before winter break, so she knew that any kind of serious learning would be difficult. Rather than spend her time fighting with the kids to focus when they just weren’t capable of it, she planned as many fun projects as possible, and though a lot of them were old hat for her by now, the prep work never seemed to end.

Which is why, when Jasmine, the woman who ran the afterschool program, came to her door at almost 6:45, she was still there.

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you…”

“It’s no bother, come on in,” Katya said, a big smile on her face, especially when she saw that Jasmine had Grace with her--one of Katya’s favorite students.

“You know we close at 6, and Grace’s mom is running late today,” Jasmine said. Her tone of voice was light and cheerful, but her eyes told Katya a different story--that this wasn’t the first time it had happened, and that she was likely furious. “I gotta get home, and Dani’s out with the flu, so...do you mind keeping her here until Leslie shows up? It should be soon, she texted me ten minutes ago that she’s on the way.”

“No problem. We’ll have a great time, won’t we Grace?”

The little girl nodded, skipping into the classroom happily.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Jasmine said. “Thank you!”

Katya turned to Grace, who had dumped her jacket and backpack on the rug and was already prowling around the book bins, likely looking for her favorite Junie B. Jones stories. Soon, the two of them were settled into bean bag chairs in the comfy zone, Katya reading a few chapters out loud to her before realizing that she was probably hungry and suggesting a snack. Grace was just finishing her juice box and goldfish crackers when her young mother, Leslie, came rushing inside, harried and out of breath, apologizing profusely.

“Mama!” Grace jumped up from her seat at the little table, knocking the chair over in her excitement to leap into her mom’s arms. She hugged her tightly, face buried in her neck, and Katya could see some of the tension in Leslie’s face melt away.

Katya stood up from her own seat, picking up the book they’d been reading.

“I’m gonna put this book in Grace’s backpack so that you can finish it together this weekend,” she said, and Leslie shot her a look of pure gratitude, nodding.

“Grace, can you say thank you to Mrs. Zamo?”

“Thank you Mrs. Zamo!” she echoed cheerfully, taking the backpack and her jacket as Leslie dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

“Honey, can you go wait for me on the bench for a minute?” she asked, tugging gently on one of her pigtails.

“Okay!”

As Grace skipped into the hallway to wait, Leslie turned to Katya, tears filling her eyes.

“I’m really so sorry about being late, I-”

“It’s okay,” Katya said, head tilted sympathetically. “I get it, things happen.”

“It’s been happening all week. I got this new job, and the hours are so tough and the commute is shit, but it’s an extra two dollars an hour and I can’t say no to that. But I just feel like...I feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“I understand,” Katya nodded, putting a hand on her arm. The truth was, though, she didn’t understand. Not really. She’d never been in a position where an extra two dollars an hour would make such a big difference in her life--not even when her dad cut her off. She’d always had money, and by the time her trust fund was depleted, she was living with Trixie, whose generous salary more than covered what they needed, her meager teacher’s salary mostly paying for fun extras, keeping them entertained and living their best lives, or just going in the bank.

She knew she was lucky, but until that moment, seeing the pain in Leslie’s eyes, the fear that she was failing at life and failing her child, maybe she didn’t understand just how lucky.

“I was sitting on the bus thinking about her waiting and waiting, wondering where I was.”

“Can I tell you something?” she asked softly. “Grace didn’t care that you were late, she was just happy to see you when you got here, because it’s really obvious what a good mom you are.”

“Sometimes I feel like the worst mom ever,” Leslie admitted, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“No way. Grace is an amazing kid. She’s smart and kind and enthusiastic--and it’s totally okay if you need some more help. That’s what all of us are here for. I can talk to Jasmine about maybe extending the hours next week, until you can get your schedule sorted. Or maybe Grace can go home with Joey’s mom...don’t you all live in the same building?”

Leslie nodded, a deep sigh leaving her. “Thanks, that’s a good idea. I...I’ll figure it out.”

“Okay. Just remember that you’re not in this alone, you know?” Katya handed over a box of tissues from her desk.

“Yeah. Thanks. Sorry, I-” Leslie wiped her eyes.

“Don’t be sorry,” Katya said, giving her a warm hug.

***

“Oh god!” Gigi groaned, pushing the door to the modeling apartment open, her shoulders aching, her fingertips numb. “Finally!” She dumped her bags down in the hallway, slumping against the wall.

She had been around the town with Sutan all day, shopping for what he called a model wardrobe, Gigi trying on several pairs of heels and flats, her new backpack and purse stuffed with a newly printed book and her brand new phone, their last stop of the day Gigi’s new gym that was just around the corner.

“Gigi?” Bimini popped her head out of the kitchen door, the golden rim around her eyes and her crimped hair clear indicators that meant she had been shooting, Bimini rarely bothering with removing hair and makeup on set. “Welcome home sweetie! How did it go?”

“I’m exhausted!” Gigi pushed out from the wall and kicked her sneakers off. “Who knew shopping could be that hard?”

Gigi heard Symone giggle, her friend sitting at the table and painting her nails, the apartment's newest arrival chopping vegetables for whatever vegan crock pot Bimini was cooking for everyone. They had someone new arrive every couple of days, most girls only staying for a night or two in the bunk beds in what Naomi had dubbed the summer camp room before they were shipped off again if they didn’t interest any of the agents.

“I told you, didn’t I?”

“I know,” Gigi groaned, dumping down in a chair to rest her aching feet, “but I thought you were kidding.” Symone had gone on the trip two weeks ago, her Instagram exploding with content now that she had a brand new phone to post with.

“Did he give you the drink speech too?”

She had eaten lunch with Sutan at an awkwardly fancy restaurant, three sets of cutlery surrounding her plate, her manager going through each set as well as her wine glasses, explaining it to her. Gigi’s mom had always insisted on good manners, but it hadn’t been anything like that.

“The ‘never leave your drink unattended’ one, I mean.”

“Mmh,” Gigi nodded. “The whole entire speech.”

She hoped it’d be unnecessary, but Sutan had run her through what he called the basic safety procedures like putting a hand or a napkin over her glass when she wasn’t paying attention, her manager drilling it into her skull that she shouldn’t accept poured drinks or opened bottles from strangers in clubs unless she saw the bartender prepare it.

“Is he seriously doing all that?” Naomi raised an eyebrow. “So far, all my agent has told me is that if I showed up in any tabloid looking messy, he’d drop my ass.”

Suddenly, Sutan’s mothering didn’t feel as smothering, the attention and assistance the man had poured over her nothing compared to the terrifying thought of being left basically on her own like Naomi.

***

At first, Katya wasn’t sure why she stopped at Macy’s on the way home. Especially now, on a Friday night during the holiday season, when the sales clerks were at their most frazzled.

She wandered around, unable to get Grace and Leslie out of her mind...and in particular, the look of pure joy on Grace’s face when her mother appeared in the doorway. Leslie was a single mom, and by the look of her, she was pretty young, but she had managed to raise an exceptional kid who was sure how much she was loved.

Why was Katya so afraid of having a baby? It was like she’d told Leslie--she wouldn’t be doing it alone. Not by a long shot. No, she was fortunate to have the most wonderful man in the universe by her side. And lord knew, Trixie would make up for any maternal instincts she may lack herself. And plenty of people, people much less capable and loving than her, had babies every day.

She stopped, looking around, realizing that she’d found herself in the baby department. Specifically, in front of a shelf full of tiny little infant shoes. She smiled to herself, knowing exactly what she needed.

When she arrived home, she was thrilled to see that Trixie had prepared dinner, heating up some leftover chicken and mashed potatoes and throwing together a salad--exactly what she was in the mood for.

She smiled when she saw him, announcing, “I brought you a present.”

Trixie’s face lit up, and for a split second she could imagine that exact same expression of joy on a tiny child, the thought making her insides warm as she handed him the little bag.

He looked inside, where the two tiny pink moccasin slippers sat in their plastic box, his head then snapping up to look at her with an expression of amazement.

“Kat, are you-” His eyes were bright with tears, hopeful but still a bit tentative.

She shrugged slightly, self-consciously, afraid to say what she’s been thinking out loud, but Trixie seemed to know anyway.

He rushed forward and swept her up into the biggest, tightest hug she’d ever had, repeating over and over how wonderful she was going to be. She took his face in her hands, kissing his tear-stained cheeks, finally sure that as a team, they could do it.

#rpdr fanfiction #thedane #veronica #galactica #vitan #bitney #bob x cracker #trixya #violet chachki #raja gemini #courtney act #bianca del rio #miz cracker #bob the drag queen #yvie oddly #pearl liaison #miss fame #trixie mattel #morgan mcmichaels #katya zamolodchikova #gigi goode #symone #bimini bon boulash #naomi smalls #lesbian au #m/f au #fashion au

[abraxos-is-toothless]

This is my piece for the @aftgexchange and is for @kaijuusandkryptids! I really loved all of your prompts and had no idea which on to choose but I settled on Matchy Couples Costumes. I really hope I did it justice:) Pairing were difficult to choose too but I went with Renison, something I have not written but there is some Kevin and Allison friendship for you!!

Enjoy and I really hope you like it<333

Warnings: implied sexual content, I never go into too much detail really.

Edit from in my drafts: Tumblr wouldnt let me post and that’s why it is a bit late, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.

==============

Halloween was one of Allison’s favourite times of the year, mostly because she got to play dress up. The parties were fun, eating a bunch of candy without a care was a bonus but fuck, getting to dress up in a matching costume with her ridiculously beautiful girlfriend was the best part. This year, Renee had agreed to let Allison surprise her with their outfits so now, she was currently walking around a very extravagant costume store with an incredibly grouchy Kevin Day. The makeup she wanted had already been tossed into Kevin’s arms, along with a few tubes of glitter she thought would look perfect on Neil. “Seriously Allison, why can’t you carry your own shit?” She rolled her eyes, thoroughly done with the asshole’s whining tone.

“Because I need to use my hands to search for things, Day. And also, it means you can’t stop me from choosing your costume this year.” Kevin hadn’t dressed up last year when even Andrew fucking Minyard had. Allison was not allowing any bullshit this year. When he opened his mouth to quite obviously complain, she threw a set of sparkly fishnets in his face. “Shut the fuck up, you’re doing it. You promised.” The two of them had become very good friends over the last two years or so and honestly, he was a lot more fun than she’d first thought. They were sneaky with making bets about the other Foxes; they would help each other with their outfits for the day and would also gang up on sweet baby Neil when he wouldn’t eat properly. The two of them made quite a formidable team.

“Fine, just, nothing too out there. I don’t want to spend hours trying to take off while I’m drunk.” Allison nodded in satisfaction, planning on not listening to what he just said, at all. They were just passing through the ‘Superheroes’ section when her eyes snagged on something, causing her to smirk. It was a Captain America costume, the fabric tight but stretchy, which would show off the body Kevin worked so hard to keep. It also came with fancy boots, a weird belt and most importantly, the shield. She squealed internally, pulling it all off of the rack and handing it to Kevin who grimaced slightly but wisely kept his mouth shut.

“We’ll have to find you some better underwear or you’ll be able to see it under the costume. That or you could just not wear any?”

“I’m not going commando, Ali.” She gave a very bored sigh.

“No fun. Now come, I need to go to the couples section.” Her heels clicked against the floor as she dragged Kevin across the store, grabbing odd accessories and things just in case she needed them in the future. You never know when a girl might need fake glasses.

All of the matching costumes were either very cliché or ones that nearly all couples used every single year. Allison could make their costumes of course, but it was a week and a half away and she just did not have the time for that this year. Maybe next year she and Renee could make them together.

She was just beginning to think that none of the costumes in front of her were any good when her eyes caught on a Sexy Cop outfit and an Inmate outfit right next to it. They were pretty cute and the Cop came with a range of accessories, including the main thing that Allison was drawn to. Handcuffs. The two of them had been experimenting in their sex life lately, trying new things and the thought of one of them being tied up was very appealing. Allison grabbed both costumes and chucked them at Kevin who raised a dark brow at her choice. “I thought you were going for something different than everyone’s usual this year?”

“Don’t question me, Kev.” With a flick of her hand they were moving again, piling everything up at the checkout. The poor cashier’s eyes widened at the array of items before putting them all through. Kevin tried to pay for his own before she glared at him, handing him all of their bags as she put everything on her card.

On the drive home, they stopped to get food for the whole team, Kevin complaining about all of the calories and that they should get something healthier to which he received a smack of the back of his head. When they got back to the tower, everyone was gathered in the neutral zone of Matt, Aaron and Nicky’s room, per request after she had Kevin text that they were bringing food. Andrew and Neil were curled up on a beanbag together, causing Allison to wink at Neil, receiving a glare from the monster in return. Matt and Dan were throwing peanuts into each other’s mouths while Nicky kept some kind of score. Aaron had his nose buried in a textbook as he always did. Last, but definitely not fucking least, her gorgeous Renee was dutifully clearing up any stray peanuts that did not make into mouths. “I have arrived you heathens, except you baby,” she smiled at her girlfriend who blushed in return, “and I bring good food and some little gifts.” Aaron’s head shot up at the mention of food, getting up to form a circle on the floor with the rest of them.

It was all devoured quickly, Nicky stating that he was now to live on the couch, too full to move. Allison ignored the over dramatic idiot as she passed Kevin’s bag to him before rifling through the rest. She pulled out the fishnets she’d picked up and chucked them at Dan. “For you babes. Matt can’t take his eyes off of you when you wear them.”

“Damn straight, she’s fucking stunning in them.” Matt grinned at his girlfriend, putting his arm around her shoulder. Next she grabbed a bag of ghost shaped marshmallows and passed them over to Andrew. He simply nodded quickly before tearing open the bag, staring at Kevin as he should three into his mouth. Neil caught the tube of glitter she threw, looking down at it confused.

“You looked good the last time I put it on you, Josten. Andrew likes it too.” The blonde glared at the tube, the tips of his ears turning pink.

Renee moved over to tuck herself into Allison’s side and tried to look in the bag that held their costumes. She quickly covered Renee’s eyes with her hand. “Ali, can’t I see what you got us?” Leaning down, she pressed her lips to the shell of her girlfriend’s ear and whispered;

“That’s a surprise. You’ll have to wait until Halloween.” Renee shivered, pulling the hand over her eyes away from her face, tilting her face up and Allison couldn’t stop herself from placing a kiss on her perfectly pink lips. She never wanted to stop kissing her, because kissing Renee made her feel as though she was the luckiest girl in the world. She always let out a little, contented sigh when their lips touched and if Allison were standing, her knees would have given out.

Halloween was going to be a very fun night.

oOoOo

There was one hour until the party started and Allison had never been so excited. Renee laughed from her seat on the bed as Allison pulled the bag with their costumes in from the wardrobe. Turning, she held the bag in front of her chest and asked Renee, “Do you want to be the bad guy or the good guy?” Renee’s smile dropped slightly and her eyes took on a sort of faraway look. When she spoke, it was almost inaudible, as if she didn’t want anyone to hear.

“I like to think I’m the good guy, now.” It made Allison’s chest feel tight, her heart breaking at the tinge of sadness in the other woman’s voice. She knew that Renee still struggled with her past, still struggled to accept that she wasn’t that person anymore but Allison was always there to help her, to remind her. She knew exactly who Renee was and she didn’t care about any of the things she had to do before.

“Love?” Renee looked back to her apologetically, realising she’d gone off into her head again. Allison pulled both costumes from the bag, holding them out in front of her. “You want to be a Sexy Cop or a Cute Inmate? If you’re the Inmate I get to put you into cuffs.” She wiggled her brows, relishing in the way her girlfriend’s cheeks turned pink and she ducked her head.

 “I think I would like to be the Inmate, if that’s alright with you?” She mumbled, looking up at Allison from under her lashes. Allison bit her lip and Renee’s eyes darkened. Standing from her spot on the bed, she walked the short distance to Allison slowly, gently taking the costume from her hands. “I’m going to go and get ready with Dan or else we won’t be going to that party at all.” She winked and was out of the room before Allison had the chance to say anything back. Letting out an unsteady breath, she layed the costume out on the bed, stripping herself of everything until she was bare. Walking over to her draws she caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror. There were still a few hickeys littering her body. Some lighter, almost yellows ones on her hips and thighs, and a few much darker, purple looking ones on her neck and shoulder. She loved seeing Renee’s marks on her, loved feeling the tingles when she ran her fingers over them lightly. It reminded her that she was wanted, that she was cherished.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she continued her way over to the set of draws in her room, pulling out a set of lacy red underwear knowing it was a set Renee favoured. If the night ended the way she wanted, she was going to get to tease her girlfriend endlessly. The costume came with fishnets which were pulled on first, followed by the tiny little shorts and cropped shirt. The belt was a little awkward at first, but Allison managed to get it on, attaching the cuffs, a fake radio and what looked to be a fake taser. Allison put her hair up into a high ponytail that swung from side to side as she walked and she finished the whole thing off with a pair of black, leather thigh high boots. She had only ever worn these once for some stupid outing but they fit perfectly with what she was wearing now. She also remembered the heated look she received from Renee last time, so it was an easy choice to make. Her look would not be as extravagant as it could be and she rummaged around for some of the new makeup she had bought on her shopping trip with Kevin. There were still a few tubes of glitter left, including blue which she decided to put a light layer of across her collar bones. She noticed she'd also managed to pick up a can of spray glitter for her hair in gold. Well, she was already glowing anyway; why not glow a little more?

With a last, quick glance over her form in the mirror, Allison nodded to herself, proud of what she achieved. She looked fucking hot and no one could tell her otherwise. Pulling her phone from its charger to check the time, she was shocked to find that there was still a half hour left until the party, and at least an extra twenty minutes before people really started to show up. Usually, it took her at least an hour to deem herself fit to be seen by people, other than the rest of the Foxes who had undoubtedly seen her in worse conditions. With time to spare, she ventured of to Andrew, Kevin and Neil’s dorm, by passing the sound of Dan and Renee laughing from within Dan’s room. She wanted their reveals to be a surprise, to watch as her girlfriend ran her eyes over Allison’s form and to feel the shivers that wracked over her skin as a result. She knocked lightly on the boys’ door, waiting for the soft ‘come in’ before entering. There would be no making that mistake, ever again. Andrew was on the sofa, a rainbow lollipop in his mouth, staring directly at Neil. The redhead looked close to drooling at the sight. Neil jumped and stood quickly when Allison cleared her throat, causing her to whistle lowly at the sight. He was wearing a tight, long black dress that scrapes the floor a little as he moved. There were two slits down the sides that exposed his runners’ legs and the sleeve straps hung off his shoulders. “Neil, baby, what are you dressed as?”

The boy blushed, looking down at his feet as he mumbled, “Andrew says he wanted me to be a ‘damsel in distress’ because apparently he’s always saving my ass.”

She looked to Andrew with a raised brow. “So you are his ‘knight in shining armour’?” There was a scoff from the tiny blonde man.

“I have no fucking idea what you mean.” He grumbled, despite the fact Allison could clearly see the fake armour he had on, including a fake sword laying next to him on the couch.

“So you just wanted to see how hot he looked in a pretty dress, then?” She smirked. Hazel eyes glared at her before Andrew returned to his lollipop.

Neil coughed as if clearing his throat, blush still staining his cheeks. “You might want to go help Kev, he’s been complaining for a while about his costume.”

Allison rolled her eyes but nodded, moving towards the bedroom. When she walked in, Kevin was trying and failing, miserably, to zip up the stupid suit. “Hey idiot, why didn’t you just ask for help?”

Kevin just huffed before turning his back to her, gesturing that she should do it instead. When he was all zipped, she clipped the belt around his waist before handing him the shield. He looked damn good and if she wasn’t happily in love with the girl of her dreams, Allison would have been all up on that. “Spectacular Kev, you look really good.”

“You look really great too, Ali. Renee is going to love it.” More voices sounded from the other room, indicating more people had joined them. Allison heard Matt first, shouting something before he laughed at something. Nicky’s screeching soon followed, most likely having spotted what Neil was dressed in. If Matt had arrived, that meant Dan and Renee would have come over with him. Allison’s nerves picked up at the realisation, wanting to rush out there and show Renee what she had on and to see how Renee looked in an orange jumpsuit.

“I know how I look Kevin. Not great, I look fucking amazing.” He laughed, shaking his head as he threw an arm over her shoulder. They walked out together like that until Kevin joined Matt when he was offered a beer. The warmth of his arm disappeared but it was soon replaced with a different kind. The kind of warmth that only a lover could give. Allison’s eyes found Renee immediately, her jaw dropping slightly, heat pooling low in her belly. The jumpsuit fit her girlfriend in all of the right places, tight enough to show that beautiful figure but not so tight that it was restricting. As she ran her gaze over her body, Allison zeroed in on Renee’s left wrist, where she had secured the cuffs so that they dangled. As if she had broken free. If so much work hadn’t been put into this night, Allison would have already dragged Renee back to her room and not let her leave until morning. Her thoughts were interrupted as a soft hand took hold of one of her own, fingers interlacing. Tilting her head down just slightly, Allison watched Renee bring a cup to her mouth and sip carefully, and then pull it away, the tip of her tongue poking out to lick her bottom lip. Allison couldn’t stop the quiet little noise she let slip. Her girlfriend chuckled lowly before asking innocently, “Ready to party, A?”

Hell fucking yeah, she was.

oOoOo

It was midnight and almost everyone was either passed out or incredibly drunk. Allison had thought they all would have lasted at least another few hours, but it seems some had started drinking before they had even got to the party. She was currently sitting in one of the two arm chairs, Renee draped across her lap with an arm around her waist, who was laughing at Nicky trying to dance with Kevin. The latter had just tried to lower the former into a back dip; until he dropped him. Nicky only looked upset for a moment before he burst out in laughter. Matt was forming some kind of speech in all of the ways he loved his ‘most precious Danielle’ whilst the girl in question tried to shut him up. Aaron was tucked off in one of the corners making out with his cheerleader, and Allison hoped to god they went back to one of their rooms before the two of them started fucking right in front of everyone. Neil and Andrew had disappeared a few minutes ago with a soft ‘goodnight’. She had the faintest impression that Andrew was thoroughly done with the way Neil kept teasing him in that sinful dress.

She was just about to ask Renee if she’d like another drink when her girlfriend leaned in to trail kisses up her neck. Her breath hitched, catching in her throat when Renee reached that soft spot just below her jaw. The hand Allison had on Renee’s thigh tightened and she bit her lip against a moan when teeth grazed the skin of her ear. “You want to get out of here now, Ali?” All she could do was nod, letting out a breath as they stood and Allison grabbed hold of the cuffs, dragging her girlfriend from the room, ignoring the wolf whistles from the other Foxes.

The journey from the basement back up to their dorm room passed in seconds with how eager they both were to finally be alone. The minute they were safely inside of Allison’s room with the door closed, she had Renee pressed against it, hands pinned above her head as their lips crashed together. Renee tasted sweet, like apples and raspberries from the drink she’d had and her body was pliant and soft underneath Allison’s hands. She gasped when there was a bite to her lip and Renee took that chance to deepen the kiss, realising sounds that had her thighs rubbing together. With a quick tug on the smaller girls’ wrists, Allison dragged them both backwards towards the bed, turning them at the last minute so that Renee was laid out underneath her. Stripping Renee slowly, she ran her lips and tongue over soft, pale skin as it was exposed gradually, inch by inch. Allison loved the sound of Renee moaning. They weren’t forced, fake and ridiculously high pitched. They were quiet, music to her ears and most importantly real, letting her know that Renee enjoyed the things she was doing. When Allison had her girlfriend bare beneath her, she pulled Renee’s left wrist up to the headboard, followed by the other and looped the cuff through it but not trapping her yet.

Breathless and panting she asked, “Where are the keys, baby?”

“In your bra.” Her eyes widened, before they narrowed when Renee smirked.

“When the fuck did you put them in there?”

“When you were too focused on the feel of my hand between your thighs, but nowhere near where you wanted it to be.” And with that, Allison closed the cuffs around her other wrist. She leaned down slowly, stopping when their lips were a hair's breadth away so that when she spoke, Renee could both feel and hear it.

“Someone has been very, very bad.”

“I’m so sorry officer, is there anything I can do?”

“Lie still like a good girl for me, will you?” Allison waited for a nod of confirmation before she pulled away, retreating to stand at the foot of the bed. Strip teases had always been fun to her, she loved the way Renee groaned and let out soft pleas for her to speed everything up, but tonight she wouldn’t.

Every movement was slow and deliberate, leaving her in her lacy red bra and panties before she crawled back over Renee who was now letting out frustrated whimpers. From there on out kisses, touches and everything in between stayed slow, at the exact pace Allison wanted for the night.  Her girlfriend was writhing beneath her as her had disappeared between two porcelain coloured thighs, the strength of them revealed when Renee tried to close them.

Renee fell apart and was pushed over that cliff's edge over and over again by Allison’s clever hands mouth, and even filthy, encouraging words that were whispered in her ear. She watched her girlfriend fall limp against silky sheets, enjoying the rapid rise and fall of her chest. Pulling the key from her bra, she reached up and released Renee, caressing her wrists gently as she fell onto her side next to her. Renee tried to reach for her, tried to pull her closer, eager to return the favour But Allison shook her head.

“But you haven’t-”

“And I’m okay Ren, I wanted this to be about you.”

“Ali...”

“Hush. Time to rest now.” She tucked a few sweaty strands of hair behind Renee’s ear before lazily dragging her fingers up and down the girl’s back. The touch did as it was intended to do and soon enough, Renee’s breathing had evened out, tucking her head into the crook of Allison’s neck with their legs tangled together.

She would never understand how she got this lucky but was so fucking grateful that she was. Renee was the light of her life, the one she loved most and Allison would do everything she possibly could to show her, to prove that she deserved her. Placing one last kiss to the crown of Renee’s head, Allison let herself drift, content and comfortable in protective arms that were always there to hold her when she needed them most.

Happy Halloween, indeed.

---------

Really hope you liked it!! :D

#aftg exchange #fall exchange 2020 #renison #renee walker #allison reynolds #aftg #all for the game #aftg fic #halloween #matching costumes #kevin day #andrew minyard #neil josten #tfc #the foxhole court #my fic #haz writes

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

You’ve Got Mail: Jungkook One Shot

Request: Hi! I really love your writings! If your requests are still open, can you pls write a Jungkook story? Ex-lovers in high school where he broke up with her because he got bored or something like that. Then they met again in university and wants her back again. (Angst but happy ending pls). Thank you!

Description: After a messy breakup with high school heartthrob Jeon Jungkook, you swore off dating once you got into college. Even though it left you lonely, it was easier than being hurt. But one fateful blind date changes everything for you, and you realize that maybe isolation isn’t the answer either.

Word Count: 12.9k

Pairing: Jungkook x (gender neutral) Reader

Tags: Barista!Reader, Graphic Design Student!Jungkook, Non-Idol!Au, Ex-Lovers to Enemies to Lovers (? I guess? Haha)

Genre: Whole lotta angst, fluffy ending

Warnings: None!

A/N: It’s been two weeks since I’ve posted wtf!! But I’m back and less than a week away from the Rose Bowl concert, holy cow. This ask has been in my inbox for MONTHS, so I need to say thank you to the anon who sent it for waiting so long! I really enjoyed this request, so I hope you guys like it too!

Also, if you want to follow me on Twitter please do so! My handle is @/plzpunchmebts. I would post a link, but rumor has it Tumblr killed links and I’m not taking any chances. I’ll be posting concert videos and pics there, so please give it a follow if you’d like to see that!

- Mercury

You were never too keen on blind dates. Everything about them felt…artificial. It wasn’t that you were a romantic, not especially, but you had to admit that being forced on a date by meddlesome friends took some of the magic out of dating. When Sua had mentioned a cute new boy in her class who was too busy studying to date, you had to admit the red flags began waving in your mind. Of course, you could relate. College was taxing and it was difficult to find time to even eat three meals, let alone date. Perhaps if things had cropped up organically, you’d have been more excited. But the forced union was a little cumbersome.

The nerves and the insecurity and the fear, none of it was especially fun. But Sua had been adamant that the two of you would hit it off, and with her eyes round and expectant, her brows raised, and her lips pouted, you really didn’t have any room to deny her. You figured one night of discomfort was better than months of guilt, and even though you figured things wouldn’t work out with this mystery man, you’d humor your friend. After all, making friends in college wasn’t easy.

Making friends in general wasn’t easy.

You sighed as you waited with your chilly hands clasped around your phone, standing at the entrance to the subway station where Sua had instructed. The mouth of the entrance was muggy with exiting passengers as the wave of people clambered up the steep stairs and onto the street, lined on all sides by buildings that reached the sky. Every now and again, someone would graze their shoulder against yours without apology, or perhaps step on the toe of your sneaker. You took a few inching steps backward, glancing over your shoulder to be sure you wouldn’t hit anyone. Not that they’d care. You backed up until you were out of the streamline and instead took up a quieter spot beside a fish cake vendor.

You checked your phone once again, furrowing your brow. Sue said eleven, didn’t she? You pulled up your messages and scrolled through carefully, head tilted to the side as you read her most recent text.

Sua: He said he’s running a little late, but he told me to tell you to wait.

You: I am waiting…

Sua: He says he’s sorry and that the subway is close to the terminal now.

You: That’s good.

Sua: He says sorry again.

Sua: You know, this is kinda dumb. Let me just give you his number so you can text him.

Sua: 51-XXX-XX24

You pursed your lips and crossed your arms over your chest. Sua was right, anyway. Making her your proxy wouldn’t really do you much good, considering she wasn’t here to help you in person. But wouldn’t it be a bit forward to just…text this guy? You didn’t know him yet. And besides, what could you say that Sua hadn’t? Hey, I’m doing this out of obligation, sorry to disappoint! or you can just go back home now and we can tell Sua things didn’t work out. You shook your head and rubbed your fingertip along the screen of your phone, working your lower lip between your teeth. You were just looking for an out. And really, you didn’t want to bail after Sua had gone through the trouble of setting things up. Still, just texting a stranger was a little…

But then again, he’d agreed to the blind date too, hadn’t he? It wasn’t like you were someone he was forced to talk to. He’d come on his own accord. Rubbing your bare forearm in the spring breeze with one hand, you used the other to tap the phone number and save it and, with only your index finger, drafted a slow message.

You: Hey, I’m Sua’s friend. I think we’re supposed to have a blind date today? Haha. That sounded kind of awkward…

Within seconds, your phone dinged with an incoming text and you jumped, nervous, before glancing at your phone once more.

Blind Date: Oh! Haha, hello. It wasn’t awkward at all. Ahh, I’m really sorry I’m late. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I bumped into a cyclist and he gave me an earful so I missed the first subway.

Blind Date: But I’m one stop away! You’re outside exit 2 right?

You: Yeah! I’m next to a fish cake stall. I’m wearing a red blouse, so you can’t miss me :-)

Damn, you thought, was that smiley face too much? You picked at the skin around your nail and glanced up to see the near-constant flow of people was still in full force, the subway exit spitting pedestrians onto the cement sidewalk in droves. You squinted a little, trying to keep a good visual on the staircase leading out. With a sigh, you leaned over your bag to slip your phone inside when it buzzed again. Despite yourself, your heart raced and you eagerly unlocked it to see if he’d responded.

Blind Date: Cute! Let’s get some fish cakes then before we go to the movie.

Blind Date: Ah, subway just pulled in! I’m only a few sweaty staircases away now~

Blind Date: :P

Without meaning to, you smiled a little. Your nerves settled as you leaned on your right foot, grinning softly at your screen. He seemed like a good guy, at least. You were relieved. After the jerks you dated in high school, you’d sworn off dating for a while. Maybe trying to cleanse your palate. It was…oddly refreshing to be talking to someone who didn’t make you feel like you weren’t all that important. Like you were disposable.

Still smiling, you responded with a simple text.

You: I’m excited to meet you :-D

“Y/N?” asked a familiar voice from beside you.

A voice that sent chills up your spine, and not the good kind.

You stiffened and turned, eyes wide, toward the one person you’d been hoping fervently to avoid for life. Standing with his big, brown eyes wide and his hair slightly windswept, Jeon Jungkook stared down at you like you were a ghost. Your lips parted and, heart hammering, you opened and closed your jaw a few times. What were you supposed to say to the boy who broke your heart when you were sixteen?

Years later and he was still the heartthrob he’d been back then, only now he looked…like a man. His cheekbones were prominent, strong jaw, heavy brow and a serious, toned build like he’d lived at the gym in the years between your meetings.

You swallowed hard and slipped your phone in your bag, crossing your arms and thus closing yourself to him. You glanced up at him with a furrowed brow. “Jungkook,” you said with a sigh. “I’m actually waiting here for someone and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, so if you could-,”

“You’re on a blind date?” asked Jungkook, lips agape.

You shrugged, glancing down the sidewalk toward the open maw of the subway exit, squinting in the hopes of catching your date’s attention. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Wait, but-,”

You sighed and shut him up with a single look his way, sharp, venomous. “I’m gonna to wait someplace else if you’re gonna keep standing beside me.”

“No, it’s not-,”

You huffed and shuffled into the crowd once more, walking purposefully away from him, but Jungkook was hot on your tail and wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Every few paces, you’d glance over your shoulder and see him following you feverishly, angling himself through the narrow spaces between bodies. But you kept going, pushing through, until you were blocks away from the subway station and Jungkook was nowhere to be seen.

You exhaled long and slow, patting your chest to calm down, and veered off toward the shops on your right, taking cover beneath an awning. Something in your bag vibrated and you jumped. Shit. Your date. The spring day sun was warm on your hands as you fumbled with your bag, grabbing your phone once again.

Blind Date: Where did you go??

You gripped your nose bridge and exhaled through your nose. Of course he’d be confused. You were lucky he was nice enough to reach out at all after seeing you weren’t where you said you’d be. You typed your reply quickly, desperate not to hurt his feelings.

You: God, I’m SO sorry. I ran into someone…from a long time ago lol. I couldn’t shake him off, so I ended up down the street a few blocks. By a Burger King.

You: I’m making a really bad impression, huh? I’m sorry. Just…he’s the LAST person I wanted to see today, you know?

You: Or…well, ever haha.

You awaited a response with bated breath, brows knit, and chewed on the inside of your cheek. This blind date was a wild card, really. Since you didn’t know him yet, you didn’t know how he’d respond. And it wouldn’t be his fault if he decided you weren’t worth all the hassle. Honestly, you might’ve been a little relieved if that was the case. Running into Jungkook…it made you remember why you avoided dating.

But despite your expectations, your phone buzzed again and you jumped to grab it.

Blind Date: This person…you really didn’t want to see him?

You: No. It’s just a painful reminder of the past.

You: !!! God, I keep saying awkward things !!! Haha, please forget I said anything. Where are you?

Blind Date: No! It’s not awkward at all. I’m just…

Blind Date: I’m sorry you had to see him then, I guess.

You: Jeez…

You: You’re a really nice guy, aren’t you?

Blind Date: Haha! I don’t know about that…

Blind Date: How about we reschedule for another time? I get the feeling you wouldn’t really be up for a movie right now anyway.

You panicked, heart kicking up. Despite everything you told yourself, you were a little bit happy he was being so understanding. And even though you were scared, you wanted to see if…well…if maybe this guy might be different.

You shook your head. Of course you shouldn’t think that way. Putting your heart out there to be toyed with and thrown aside…you didn’t want to go through it. Not really. And what relationship could be worth all that? You sucked in your breath and typed a quick response, ready to cast Jungkook and this blind date into the banks of your memory to gather dust. Even if this guy did seem sweet…

So had Jungkook, at first.

You: Yeah. That’s probably for the best. I work at that coffeeshop on campus, so I’ll shoot you a text once I get my schedule. :-)

You: I’m sorry for all the trouble today. Seriously.

You sighed and turned on your heel toward the street. If you kept on this sidewalk for a few more blocks, you’d find exit 3. And from there, it was only a 20-minute subway ride home whereupon you could finally collapse on your couch and wait for this cursed weekend to be over.

But before you could take a single step, a text came.

Blind Date: It was no trouble. :D I just feel bad that you had an unpleasant experience…

You: Hey, it’s not your fault haha.

You: Oh yeah! I never gave you my name, did I?

Blind Date: No, actually. Haha.

You: It’s Y/N.

Blind Date: It’s nice to meet you again, Y/N.

Blind Date: You can call me Nochu.

You: … Nochu … ?

Blind Date: Haha, it’s weird huh?

Blind Date: It’s a nickname I prefer.

You: Ah! I see. I’ll call you that then.

You: Nochu.

Blind Date: Y/N :-)

You stood and placed your hands on your lower back and stretched, groaning, a week later. Classes had been dragging lately and with several coworkers sick with a cold, you were one of the only employees left who wasn’t too ill to work. Your body felt like it was slowly failing you. Even your feet were sore from constantly running from place to place. And the quiet coffee shop before you made you feel like taking a long and well-needed nap. Mismatched chairs and bistro tables littered the trendy place and students congregated around the windows or the fireplace or the used bookshelf. Nobody really bothered you except to order or ask for to-go coffee sleeves. Mostly, you just stood there. For hours. Watching everything and nothing at once.

But today the energy was a little different. You’d heard from Sua that the graphic design students were approaching an important deadline, and from the looks of the crowd it seemed that deadline was heavy on everyone’s minds. Laptops and drawing tablets and plenty of coffee littered the tables as students chatted in small groups, none of them looking all too happy. You wondered what the project was, but didn’t want to bother Sua with a useless question. So instead, you just watched over customer’s shoulders as they added thick white lines to separate sections of illustrations or grabbed whole images with slender styluses and slid them to new spaces.

“Excuse me?”

You jumped and turned to the queue which up until moments ago had been completely empty. You made sure to manage your expression with a tight smile and bowed your head. “Sorry,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes to meet the customer.

And, to your shock and horror, you saw a familiar face amongst the group of thee college-aged boys. Jeon Jungkook stood in the middle, a half-pace behind the guy who had roused your attention, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was just as horrified to see you as you were to see him. You felt your back go perfectly straight, eyes wide and lips parted through which only shallow exhales escaped. Your palms grew sweaty and your heart thump-thumped to an uneven cadence.

“Um, what can I make for you?” you asked finally, managing a tight smile at the speaker of the group whose attention was affixed to the sign above your head, reading the menu with squinted eyes. “If you need more time…,” you hedged, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze which you felt burning circles into your face.

“Ah, no I’ve got it,” said the first guy with a polite smile your way. “I’ll have a green tea latte.”

You nodded and wrote it down on your notepad, just to keep things straight. Had your coworkers been stronger in their constitution, you’d have given the order to one of them to get started on. Perhaps you’d even get started yourself and leave the cashiering to them. But alas, you were alone and painfully aware of it.

“Will you be paying separately or together?” you asked, a tinge of hope in your voice. Please say together, please say together, please say together, you thought over and over, like an endless mantra.

The first boy chuckled and gave Jungkook’s shoulder a firm punch. “Like I’ll pay for these good-for-nothings,” he joked before returning his attention to you, smiling. He had a kind smile, but even that did little to ease your anxieties. You simply nodded and took his card as he stretched it out toward you.

The second guy approached, another brown-haired college kid with a polite grin and baggy spring clothes, and hummed. “I’ll do the caramel macchiato,” he said with a nod, fingers still clasping his chin as he scanned the menu and you scribbled his order. “Ah!” he said, pointing at you. You jumped, still on edge with adrenaline coursing through you, but quickly settled with a smile. “And a slice of banana bread.”

“Banana bread,” you mumbled to yourself as you wrote it. “Okay.”

The second handed you a credit card which you swiped quickly, eager to get this whole encounter over with. He took it back with a bow and a smile which you struggled to return because the moment you glanced over his shoulder you caught Jungkook’s gaze, intense, warm browns peering at you like you held answers he’d been searching for. Despite yourself, you blushed and glanced back toward your notepad.

Finally, the moment of reckoning arrived and your nerves made your hands a little shaky as they clasped the pen and paper. Your eyes wavered around the space between your own hands, measuring the empty air, desperate not to look at Jungkook again.

“Um…,” he mumbled, voice a low rumble in his chest. You almost wanted to squeeze your eyes shut altogether, even though you knew how dumb that’d make you look. “Can I get a strawberry smoothie?”

You almost laughed. It was so like him to come to a coffeeshop and order something like that. It was so like him to still have a weak palate when it came to bitter things. It was so like him to chase after you that day, to show up here on coincidence. It was so like him to be exactly who you remembered him to be. Exactly who he was back then.

Slowly, once you’d written his order down, you lifted your eyes and looked at him properly at last. He was dressed well, casual as you expected, all black as you expected, handsome as you expected. His hair was half-styled out of his eyes, and those eyes were the problem really. Dark and depthless, staring down at you with furrowed brow, jaw clenched. If anyone had doubts you two knew each other before, they’d certainly know now with the way he was watching you. The way he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for even a second.

“That’s all?” you asked.

“Um…yeah,” he responded, blinking at you like he had more to say.

By then, his friends had begun setting up camp amongst the mismatched sofas and recliners, setting up their computers. You caught sight of a drawing tablet as its corner poked out the top of the first boy’s backpack. So they were design majors too? Maybe your blind date had met one of these guys, then. But wait. If his friends were, did that mean…

“You’re a design major?” you asked, unable to stop yourself.

But once you said it, you wished to suck the words back inside like tapioca balls through a straw because across Jungkook’s face flashed a brief glimmer of excitement, eyes wide, mouth already open and poised to respond.

“Yeah!” he said, smiling a little. “I…uh, well you remember how I liked to draw.”

You nodded, typing the total into your cash register. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m really sorry about-,”

“Let’s not rehash things here,” you said, eyeing him from beneath your lashes, scanning the shop like a conspirator in search of any prying eyes, any listening ears. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve both moved on so let’s just keep it at that.”

Jungkook shut his mouth and, after a long moment, sighed. “Alright,” he said, sounding defeated. You hazarded a glance up at him and found his eyes long-sighted, gazing down at the counter between you without really looking at it.

“It’ll be 3,500 won,” you said, holding out one hand towards him.

He blinked and shook his head a little, as if returning to himself, and yanked his wallet from the front pocket of his loose joggers. He pulled out a bill and handed it to you. 20,000. Was that the smallest bill he had on him? You examined it with a thinly-veiled scowl. Of course, he was probably making good money doing something impressive. That was Jungkook anyway. The type of guy who just…made things come to him. Like the universe responded to his will. You sighed and went to work on the old register, punching in the amount and sliding the bill inside. You produced his change to find him already bounding toward his friends with his broad back to you.

Panicked, you rushed to the side of the barista station and called out to him. “Hey! You forgot your change!” you shouted, cupping one hand around your mouth. A few patrons turned to look at you and Jungkook.

He barely glanced back at you when he said, “You can keep it.”

And suddenly you were blushing for a very different reason.

That jerk, you thought to yourself as you watched him plug away at some ad he was working on on his tablet. Evening had fallen slowly upon the city of Seoul, and you wanted nothing more than to stroll out into the lavender evening, forgetting this whole unpleasant day. But instead, you had to wait for your coworker, Sora, to relieve you after making you work fifteen minutes past the end of your shift. Scowling, you kept a hawk’s eye on Jungkook and, unbeknownst to him, wished silent curses upon his head. I hope you go bald, you thought. Or worse, I hope you go out for fried chicken and you get only tendons. You crossed your arms and lolled your head to the side.

You shouldn’t have expected Jungkook to change. He’d always been a ‘my pace’ kind of guy. Maybe leaving that tip was his way of flexing his money to you. That he had enough money to just throw around at random baristas he used to hook up with in high school. Or maybe he was pitying you, looking down on you for working such a menial job. Either way, it made your blood boil. You felt the money crinkle in the pocket of your jeans with every step.

You’d briefly considered spitting in his smoothie, but you didn’t want to lose your job over Jeon Jungkook.

After all, you’d already lost your youth to the kid.

You glanced outside and watched the rainclouds gathering. Of course, you’d forgotten to bring an umbrella. It wasn’t like you’d checked the weather on the way out. Grumpily, you glanced down at your phone to check the time. Twenty minutes late now. What did Sora have to do that was so important? Normally, you’d complain to a friend. But Sua was about the closest you had these days and you weren’t sure you could trouble her with it.

But…were you really friends if you didn’t reach out to her from time to time?

Sighing, you glanced around the shop, making sure nobody was watching you, and unlocked your phone. So much had already happened that a quick message didn’t seem reasonable, but you couldn’t very well bury your head in your phone so after every few clicks you’d sweep your gaze around. You settled for an anxious few words between nervous glances at the rest of the shop. Realistically, you were off the clock anyway. But you didn’t want any bad Yelp reviews on your behalf.

You: Sua, on God today is cursed.

You waited a few moments for a response before growing impatient. Everything was taking forever today: that interaction with Jungkook, Sora taking over your shift, and now Sua not responding. Of course, she had no obligation to. She was probably busy with her own preparation much like the other graphic design students. You had no right to expect that of her.

Wasn’t that your problem from the start? Expecting too much?

Your phone buzzed in response as your mind began to drift toward melancholy thoughts and as you slid it open your eyes went wide and your fingertips chilled as the blood rushed to your cheeks.

Blind Date: Hah…I’m not Sua, but I am willing to listen if you need it…?

Blind Date: Was wondering when I’d hear from you.

Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You cupped a hand over your lips in horror, and just as you were about to melt into a pile of melted pride on the floor, the door swung open and a breathless Sora met your eyes with a nervous smile. You swallowed hard and pocketed your phone, offering Sora your full attention. He bowed his head to you, bending at the waist, as he approached the counter.

“I am so sorry for being late!” he shouted, loud enough for every patron to glance at him and, subsequently, you.

Your flushed face went beet red as Jungkook turned to stare at you, eyes wide. Of course, another embarrassing moment in front of that guy. “U-um, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you said, waving your hands.

He sniffled and looked up at you, eyes red with impending tears. “I really didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep after class today and-,”

“Sora, it’s cool,” you said, removing your apron and hanging it on the rack behind you. “I’m gonna go now though so I can catch my subway.”

Sora stiffened and nodded, giving you a salute before scampering behind the counter and putting on his own apron. “I really am sorry!” he called after you.

You waved a hand and rushed out onto the sidewalk, lingering beneath the awning as the rain began to drizzle from overhead. You returned your attention to your phone, pushing your hair behind your ears so you could see properly, and swallowed your nerves.

You: I…am such an idiot.

You: I’m so sorry. I was at work and I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I just…

You: Jesus, honestly you can just delete my number. I don’t think I can look at your contact anymore without cringing.

You were poised to take a step out into the rain when your phone vibrated again and you jumped to read it with barely shaking hands.

Blind Date: No! It’s okay. Seriously.

Blind Date: I can list dumber things I’ve done today alone.

Blind Date: Besides, sounds like you need someone to talk to anyway…?

You blinked at your phone screen a few times, cocking your head to the side. Somehow, his words had calmed you down, just a little. Your flaming cheeks were cooler now when you poked one with the pad of your finger. Your heart wasn’t a hammer against your ribcage. And as you glanced over your shoulder at the window into the coffeeshop, you found Jungkook was no longer in sight. With a few texts alone, things seemed a little better.

You: I won’t bore you with all of it, haha.

You: It was more of a Sua story anyway I think.

You: I’m trying to break through that kinda hesitant first stage of friendship with her and

You: Well anyway, I’m sorry to bother you. Hope you’re doing good?

Blind Date: Haha, hey I get it. Friendships are weird. Took me a while to make any real friends this year since I was so shy.

You: You were shy?

Blind Date: Oh big time. I still don’t really know how to approach people without saying or doing something wrong.

Blind Date: Like today. I think I came across like an asshole to someone.

Blind Date: That happens a lot actually -_-

Blind Date: Being nervous makes me act weird.

You: Really? You sound really confident over text.

Blind Date: Haha really? That’s good to hear at least.

Blind Date: I’m about the least confident person I know.

Blind Date: Whew, not exactly the impression I wanted to give to a possible date! Oops.

You smiled at your phone and began typing out a response when the door by your hip swung open and out walked Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook caught your eye as your smile was slipping into a scowl and you quickly righted yourself, looking away down the busy street. You held your phone close to your chest and popped a hip out to the side, feigning disinterest.

“See you guys tomorrow,” said one boy.

“Yeah,” responded Jungkook, and you saw out the corner of your eye that the guys parted ways. Jungkook lingered beside you underneath the awning, watching you keenly. “Who were you texting?” he asked.

You stiffened and glanced up at him with a frown. “Is that any of your business?” you asked.

He flushed a little, rubbed the back of his head, and let out a few breathy laughs. “Sorry. Guess not,” he said with a sigh.

For a few moments the two of you just stood there, silent. You weren’t sure what to do next without an umbrella, and you didn’t want Jungkook to think you were just…spending time with him for fun. But still, you didn’t move or make a sound. Just watched the steadily increasing rainfall splatter against the pavement, gathering in pools beside the sidewalk.

“Listen,” he began, turning to you properly. You eyed him from below with raised brows. “I really don’t want any bad energy between us, okay? I know things were messy before, but we’re in college now. It’s been years, right?” Some of the tension between you broke, but it was quickly replaced by a new tension: your outrage.

You blinked at him, working your jaw. “Jungkook, you don’t get to tell me when I’m allowed to stop being hurt,” you said, shaking your head. “Seeing you is a little painful, even though it’s been a long time. So…maybe just ignore me.”

Jungkook sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Y/N. You know I am.”

You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t really want anything to do with you,” you said, meeting his eyes. Your own calm surprised you. He looked desperate, brows knit and lips parted. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to just leave me alone.”

He blinked a few times, eyes wide. “I…I mean, we go to the same school now and everything. I just transferred this year and it’s…I don’t really know many people. It’s not like we’re strangers, so why should we act like we are?”

You swallowed your anger. “I’m gonna go now,” you said, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking out into the rain. You turned to look at him. “I don’t think you get what I’m saying, so it’s not worth repeating it again in a different way. Just…leave me alone.”

But before you could take a single step toward the subway entrance three blocks away, Jungkook was beside you in the rain, fiddling with his umbrella. “Wh-what are you doing? I just said to leave me alone!” you called at him over the sound of the rain around you.

Jungkook spat rainwater out from between his lips and shook his head as the umbrella finally popped open and the rain stopped pummeling you, now ricocheting off the nylon. You stared up at Jungkook underneath the dark umbrella, confined beneath it, confined to this small, enclosed space. Your chest was nearly touching his arm and his breath was warm as it fanned across your face. Strawberries. Like his smoothie. Rain was caught in his long eyelashes and his rosy lips were still parted, cheeks a warm pink. He stared down at you and for a brief moment, you felt a hot, shooting sensation running from the top of your head to your toes.

“Let me walk you to the station at least,” he said, scanning you.

You felt a little faint, and the sweet scent of his cologne only made you more disoriented. “I’m fine. It’s only a few blocks,” you said, but even you could admit your voice sounded weak.

He sighed, eyes falling to the ground. “I know I hurt you a lot back then, but…,” he began, then shook his head. “Even if it’s small, I wanna make it up to you somehow. So…let me walk you.”

You rubbed your bare forearm and inhaled sharply, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Fine,” you forced out and the two of you began walking.

“So…,” said Jungkook after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “How was your date the other day?”

You groaned. “What we’re not gonna do is this.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Just curious.”

You watched your hands, clasped in front of you, and sighed. “It didn’t happen,” you said. If nothing else, at least your time with Jungkook made you remarkably comfortable talking to him about your thoughts and feelings. “We cancelled.”

“Why?” he asked, brows high.

You shrugged. “After seeing you, I was kinda crabby so…”

“It was my fault?” He pointed with his free hand to his own chest, eyes wide.

“I mean, yeah but not really,” you said with an easy exhale. “It’s for the best anyway. He seems like a really nice guy. I don’t wanna end up hurting his feelings or something.”

“You’d rather be alone than risk having things end badly?” he asked.

You peered up at him. “Wonder why that is,” you mumbled before glancing away.

He sighed. “Sorry.”

“Mhm.”

The rest of the walk was silent as the two of you were forced to simply live with the words you’d exchanged, unable to do anything to alter the events that led you here. All you could do was walk forward, united under a shared umbrella for just a moment, until you ducked out from beneath it and disappeared down the subway station stairs, not even pausing for a moment to wave or say goodbye.

Blind Date: Yikes, did I really scare you off?

You raised your brows at your phone screen as the subway bumped along. It was too crowded to find a seat, so you stood cramped between a stout businessman and a high school girl, all of you holding the railing overhead for stability. You couldn’t help it, but again you smiled. After all the craziness that had come from the day, this stranger seemed to help you feel at ease.

You: Haha nope! It’d take more than that.

You: I bumped into someone I didn’t want to see, so I had to take care of that.

Blind Date: !!! Same person as before??

You: Yeah, if you can believe it lol.

Blind Date: (o_O)

Blind Date: How unlucky can a person be?

You: That’s what I’m saying. (￢_￢;)

You: That’s actually one of the things I was gonna complain to Sua about.

You: Y’know, teenage heartbreak and high school angst. Etc.

Blind Date: Hey, I said it before. I’d love to listen!

Blind Date: Aight, that was too enthusiastic. How about: I wouldn’t mind hearing you out!

You: Lol, good addendum.

You: I mean, it’s not like it’s really that serious. Just…in high school I was really shy. I didn’t have very many friends and I thought that I was fine on my own, you know?

You: But I guess I was lonelier than I thought haha. There was this really handsome guy in my class who started sitting with me on the roof at lunch. At first, neither of us really said anything. Just…sitting together.

You: But after a while, we got pretty close. Half a school year maybe. He said he came up there because the air was nice, but I had a feeling it had to do with the fact that he was a little too popular for his own good. Everyone wanted to talk to him. But he was like me.

You: Introverted, I mean.

Blind Date: Sounds like you two were good friends, then?

You: Yeah, until I caught feelings lol. Mistake.

Blind Date: You confessed??

You: Hehe…yes.

You: After a while being close, I felt really comfortable telling him anything. I told him it wasn’t like I was expecting him to date me or anything. I just wanted him to know so he could be a little more careful around me.

You: But it seemed like he reciprocated.

You: We started dating…I guess?

You: Never put a label on it, which was another mistake on my part for not asking.

You: But we did everything couples did, just…not really in front of anyone from school.

You: Never asked about that either lol.

Blind Date: Oh…

Blind Date: I mean…that doesn’t sound so good…

You: Haha, it’s probably exactly what it sounds like because once we’d been together for about a year, he ended things really suddenly. We were getting ready to apply for colleges and he was gonna go for one in a different city. He said it wouldn’t work out.

You: I fought really hard for it, but he started saying pretty mean things and I didn’t want to get hurt so I ended up conceding.

Blind Date: Mean things?

You: Things I don’t really wanna type out haha…

Blind Date: Shit! Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.

You: Hey, don’t worry! Old wounds. I should probably get over it, really.

You: No time like the present!

You: He said he never really liked me and he was only with me because he felt bad for me. Didn’t really love hearing that.

You: He said because I didn’t have friends, he pitied me. That was why he went to the roof to eat with me. Why he kissed me and all that. Took me on dates. ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌  Pretty dumb, imo, but that’s what he said and it seemed like he meant it anyway lol.

Blind Date: Y/N…

You: Hey, you asked!

Blind Date: That’s really shitty. You didn’t deserve that.

Blind Date: You carried that around with you all these years?

You: Hah, admitting it sounds kinda pathetic, huh?

You: I guess it’s not the sort of thing you just…get over. I think I really loved him too, so…

You: Anyway, seeing him now is really weird. Never thought I’d see him around here again, but suddenly he’s everywhere haha. Definitely doesn’t feel great, tbh.

You: Ew, sorry for laying all that on you. Not exactly small talk.

Blind Date: No!! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you talked to me about it. Honestly…I feel really sorry for you. It sounds like the whole thing affected you a lot. :-(

Blind Date: If it makes you feel better, I think I can understand you a little!

Blind Date: Like I said, I’m a bit shy myself. It’s not an issue of having friends, but finding good ones. It’s hard for me to socialize without saying something dumb and regretting it. So for a while, when I first started college, I isolated myself a lot. I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?

Blind Date: But recently, I’ve met some people who are really kind. People who don’t judge me when I mess things up (which is often haha). They help me communicate better.

You: You communicate really well, I think :-)

Blind Date: Haha, thank you. I’m actually blushing a little, whew. Uh, I guess it’s because it’s easier to type things out. Speaking is hard because you can’t just reword things before sending them. You say it out loud and it’s forever, you know?

You: Yeah! Jeez, that actually happened to me today (—_—)

You: I’m glad someone else understands it lol

Blind Date: Yeah, me too.

By the time you received the last message, you were already back inside your apartment, soaked from the walk home. You’d used your bag to cover your phone as you walked and typed, so now the thing was slumped against your dining chair like a sopping wet creature. But still, you smiled at your phone. Even though the conversation with Jungkook had been jarring, you’d almost forgotten it after chatting with your blind date. It felt oddly vulnerable to reveal so much to him, but his reaction had been really reassuring. You set your phone aside and padded to the bathroom to dry yourself a little with a towel, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks were a little flushed, eyes clear, and still smiling. You shook your head, trying to shake off your grin, but when you glanced back at your reflection it was still the same.

With the towel dangling across your shoulders, you returned to the living room and saw your phone lit up with another new text. Smiling, you unlocked it and read what he had to say.

Blind Date: Off topic, but uh…

Blind Date: Did you happen to catch the most recent episode of Game of Thrones?

Blind Date: Because I need to talk about it or I might explode.

You raised your brows and, without meaning to, you laughed. Was this okay? Was it alright to become close to someone like this again? Was it alright to be excited about someone again? You were fearful, cautious, hesitant. After everything with Jungkook, you’d found it impossible to trust people’s intentions. Were they being nice to you because they liked you or because they felt bad for you? Would you get hurt if you trusted the goodwill of the people around you?

You: Um…

You: CAN WE TALK ABOUT ARYA???

You weren’t going to talk to him again.

Well…that was your intention anyway. But by Friday, you’d spent every night up late chatting with this Nochu guy. It wasn’t like you talked about anything all that interesting or profound. Music you liked, games you played, anime you watched. You’d spent the better portion of Thursday night talking about whether Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was superior. You weren’t sure why you were compelled to respond every time his name lit up your phone. And you really weren’t sure why you were the one reaching out to him now as you sat watching your professor detail the process of molecular movement across a cell membrane.

Perhaps you’d missed making easy conversation with someone you liked talking to…

After high school, you’d become something of a recluse. You spent more nights in than out and despite doing well in your classes, you’d found yourself…slightly lonesome. That’s why when Sua gave you her number after you’d successfully finished a project together a few months ago, you’d been quick to take it. Even though it was a little scary, some small part of you wanted to trust people again.

And maybe that’s why too. Why you were sending this stupid text in the middle of your lecture.

You: Hey dude. You free today?

Blind Date: Hm? Why?

You: Idk, Burger King or smth?

Blind Date: Hehe, are you trying to revive our dead romance?

You: O.O Our romance died already? After one failed date?

Blind Date: Hahaha I mean…you can try giving it CPR if you want…?

Blind Date: Mouth-to-mouth ;-D

You: Yuck, I take it back. Our romance is dead and buried.

You: Anyway, you free?

Blind Date: Uh yeah probs later. I’ve got class until 4.

Blind Date: Does that work for your Burger King plan?

Blind Date: I know it’s hard to get a reservation at that place on short notice >.<

You: I take it all back.

You: I have plans tonight, soz.

You: Talk to ya later, weeb.

You smiled and set your phone down beside your notebook, refocusing on your professor.  But your attention was quickly assuaged by your phone vibrating once more. You smirked down at it and, covertly, read the slew of oncoming text messages with a chuckle.

Blind Date: !!! That’s rude !!!

Blind Date: You can’t just offer a Burger King date and snatch it out from under me like that.

Blind Date: I’ll be mad if you jerk me around >:-(

Blind Date: You see that face? I mean BUSINESS.

You: Calm down lol, I was kidding.

You: Let’s meet at the Burger King next to the ramen place near campus?

Blind Date: Hehe, sounds good :-P

Blind Date: Ah, but don’t be too surprised when you meet me, okay?

Blind Date: I don’t want you fainting when you see my handsome face 8-)

You: Mhm, I’ll be sure not to faint.

Blind Date: I mean…a little fainting is fine…

You: Haha shut up. I’ll see you there. Looking forward to putting a face to the texts!

Blind Date: Hopefully my face doesn’t disappoint lol.

You: Yikes, mine either.

Blind Date: Yours won’t.

Blind Date: Haha, I’m sure you’ll look great. That’s what I meant.

Blind Date: Ew, all of that was hard to read. Forget I said anything hhhhhh.

You smiled fondly at your phone before sliding it into your bag. “You look kinda smitten,” said Sua from beside you.

You jumped and glanced at her as the rest of the class began packing up. She was grinning at you like a co-conspirator, brows low, knowing grin on her face. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been texting someone named Blind Date during every class period for a week,” she said, cocking a brow. “I take it you guys hit it off?”

You felt yourself go warm. Not like with Jungkook the other day, but like something else. Something a little deeper than a physical reaction. Nonetheless, you cleared your throat and smiled at Sua. “He’s a good guy. I think we could be good friends.”

“Friends?” she asked with a laugh, flitting her hand as the two of you stood together. “Sounds boring. Get a smooch or two out of it or it’s a bust.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t really know if he’d be interested in me that way.”

“What about you?” she asked, eyeing you. “Would you be interested?”

You stared at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and opened and shut your mouth a few times. “I…,” you began, then glanced at your feet. You followed her out into the hallway where students hurried by in a flash beside you. “I mean…”

Sua paused her walking to stare back at you, her teasing grin replaced with a genuine one. “Wait, do you actually like him-like him?” she asked, eyes alight.

You stiffened, scratching your arm, and sighed. “Jeez, I don’t know! Maybe,” you said, waving your hands. “Forget it, I’ve got another class soon.”

She laughed as you maneuvered around her through the hall, calling after you. “You’re cute when you’ve got a crush!”

You sat at a booth by yourself at Burger King, waiting for your not-date to show up. It had only been a few minutes and already your anxiety was starting to speak in your ear. He’s not showing up, it whispered, You’re an idiot. And maybe you were. Looking around the fast food joint, you saw more than a few couples, sitting side-by-side or gazing at each other over fried chicken. You didn’t envy them. Not that way. Just…maybe it was the human connection you missed more than anything. Last time you’d been in this situation, you were still deeply in love with Jeon Jungkook.

You were sixteen and you sat twiddling your thumbs on a suburban bench overlooking Seoul. Trees swayed in the summer breeze and carried with them the scent of young hopefulness, naivety in the form of dogwood blossoms. You watched the uneven cityscape before you as it resisted the pull of the wind, and far in the distance, slightly glittering in the sunlight, the Han River. Jungkook had said he’d be there at exactly two. It was ten past, and you were getting a little nervous. You’d confessed not a week prior during the last week of school, and to your shock Jungkook had been receptive. He hadn’t said anything bold like ‘I like you too’ or ‘let’s date’ but he had invited you out for some ice cream and you figured that was much the same thing for him.

Maybe he’s just being nice, you thought to yourself with a sigh. You’d spent a long time picking out the right outfit, getting your hair to lay just right. And still, you didn’t feel quite up to par with him. Girls were always confessing their love for him. Guys too. What made you any different than the dozens of other hopefuls? He probably won’t come…

“Y/N!” called a voice from the winding, hilly street.

You jumped and turned, and your heart swelled as you saw Jungkook running down the sidewalk toward you, grinning from ear to ear. And that was what did you in. That sincerity, that vigor, that enthusiasm…all for you. You stood up to meet him and chuckled as he caught his breath, patting his chest.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, panting. “My mom started lecturing me, so I got tied up.” After a few moments regaining his composure, he finally looked at you properly and when he did, you noticed his cheeks going red hot, eyes round. “Oh, wow,” he said, glancing away with a jittery laugh. “S-Sorry, you…you look really nice.”

You felt a little faint. You’d spent months pining after this kid, pining after this purity you kept glimpsing in him, and now…

He was saying you looked nice.

It was almost enough to knock the breath out of you.

You smiled at your shoes and rubbed your neck. “Th-thank you,” you said.

He laughed, nervous once more, and gave your shoulder a shove. “Hey, don’t get all clammy on me, okay? Nothing’s weird between us. Just…two pals…on a date.”

You jumped and stared up at him with unbridled surprise. “Date?” you asked, shameless hope in your voice.

He laughed, eyes turning to crescents, and nodded. “What else would it be?” Of course. Of course, since it was Jungkook, the answer was just that simple, wasn’t it?

You swallowed hard and tried to manage your expression, but you couldn’t fight the smile teasing your lips. “Oh,” you said, letting out a breathy laugh.

He examined you for a moment, scanning you. You weren’t used to going out with friends, let alone dating. All of this was new and exhilarating to you. But you felt a sudden wave of shyness that you couldn’t fight off, and a slightly pleasant self-consciousness. You felt him looking at you, and it didn’t feel like he hated looking. You became very aware of your body, each limb, each finger. Still smiling a little, you laughed again, unsure of what else to do. These were uncharted waters, after all.

“Hm,” he said, bending down to meet your eyes. You blushed and leaned away a little, but he was blushing too and it made you feel better knowing perhaps he was just as nervous as you. “Lemme prove it.”

Your eyes went wide, but before you could say or do anything, Jungkook closed the distance between you, tipping his chin so that your lips met. His lips were warm and soft. They tasted like chapstick and banana milk. You didn’t move, not a single muscle, and perhaps this worried him because he was quick to lean away and stare down at you, fresh insecurity on display in his warm brown eyes.

“Sorry! Was that too sudden?” he asked, laughing and glancing away, down the quiet street. “Jeez, I got carried away, huh? Ha, I’m sorry.”

Before he could spiral, you took a timid step forward and pushed yourself onto your toes. Gently, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself nearer to him. He jumped and looked at you with stunned eyes. But you didn’t give him a chance to think too much, because before long you were kissing him, head tilted to the side, eyes shut. Without much pause, his hands found your waist and stayed there, respectful, unsure.

And somehow, you’d summoned the courage to do it. To kiss him back.

Because he showed up, after all.

He didn’t leave you alone…

Fifteen minutes now and you were beginning to worry. You reasoned that at least there were worse places to be stood up. A nice steakhouse, for instance. At least here you weren’t the only solo diner. But nonetheless, the feeling of a deep gut-punch was only growing. Dread and disappointment mingled into a bitter cocktail in the pit of your stomach. Wouldn’t this just be…poetic? Getting stood up for your first date after years of fear and emotional isolation?

Wouldn’t that be exactly what would happen?

Thirty minutes. At first, you tried to tell yourself he was probably just running late from a class. After all, the walk from campus alone was around seven minutes. Maybe he’d gotten released late. Maybe he’d gotten held up with a professor or classmate. You stared at your Whopper with dead eyes now, watching the cold burger as all the heat drained from it. It was too late to save it now. And perhaps it had never been meant for you to eat anyway. Maybe it was your destiny to become a vegetarian or something.

Nonetheless, you sent a text.

Even though it felt pathetic.

You: Hey, uh…we still on for Burger King?

You: No rush, haha.

You: Just a little worried…

Was this revenge for ruining the first date? Some elaborate plot to get back at you? He seemed like a really sweet guy, but so had Jungkook after all. After several minutes without a reply, you began to accept the fact that you’d been thoroughly stood up. Your throat constricted, eyes going a little hazy, and resolved to wait a little longer. Just a little.

Forty-eight minutes. No reply and no date. By then, plenty of customers had come and gone through the front doors, none of them him. You couldn’t bring yourself to take even one bite of food, the money wasted, the time wasted too. How much time had you wasted, really? How much of your life had you spent watering dead plants?

When Jungkook told you he wanted to break up, you’d been in disbelief. The two of you were close, so close it almost hurt, and the sudden end felt like a slap in the face or a jolt to the heart. You’d fought him in his room that night, the sunset turning the ends of his hair gold, turning his eyes gold too. He had no right being so handsome at a moment like that. You asked for a reason and he said he didn’t want any strings going in to college. He wanted to be unaffiliated. But you couldn’t accept that. You couldn’t accept that the time you spent together had meant so little to him, that the relationship was a dead plant from the start.

I was only dating you because I felt bad for you! he’d shouted once he’d had enough. Ever wonder why I never told anyone about us?! You’d been stunned then, stunned silent. Your brain was failing to process his words. He’d never spoken that way to you before. How much time had you spent in love? How much time had he spent pitying you? I was your only friend, for God’s sake! What did you expect me to do?!

Perhaps you’d been right after all. Perhaps giving yourself to other people was too dangerous, too painful. Perhaps loving someone wasn’t worth it, perhaps it could never be completely reciprocal. Perhaps any relationship you had would be a waste of time. Perhaps all you were destined to do was water dead plants until finally, you decided it was enough.

One hour. You stood up from your seat, wiped beneath your eyes as the tears you’d been fighting finally crested over your bottom eyelid, and carried your tray to the garbage. You slid your trash into the bin and, sniffling, wandered out toward the exit. Customers avoided walking too close to you, likely noticing the tears that were now tracking stubbornly down your cheeks. You would have wiped them, had you had the energy to care.

But all you wanted was to go home and be alone.

Alone for a while.

You pushed your way outside, taking in the fresh spring day. No more rain, even though you would have welcomed it. It could have concealed your crying, your red nose and swelling eyes. You could have cowered beneath a bus stop and nobody would have noticed you. Nobody would have noticed.

Instead, the spring day was gorgeous, teasingly beautiful. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, and people milled about through the street, smiling and chatting easily. Sniffling, you wiped your nose and joined them, walking down the sidewalk toward the subway entrance near campus.

You were overreacting. You didn’t even know this guy that well yet. He wasn’t a boyfriend, he wasn’t someone you’d given your whole heart to. He hadn’t betrayed you, because deep down you’d expected this. Maybe that’s what upset you so much. Being proven right.

You exited the crowd of people a block from the Burger King and walked with your head down toward the subway entrance. You were about to step on to the escalator when you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N!”

You turned slowly, eyes bleary from all the crying, and rubbed your tears away to see them clearly. Again, like he had some sort of sense for when you were most humiliated, Jungkook stepped toward you. His face was contorted in worry, thick brows knit, mouth agape as he stared down at you, scanning you.

You sniffled and nodded. “What?” you asked.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly, taking you by the crook of the arm and leading you toward a more sparsely populated alley beside the sidewalk. You didn’t fight. Didn’t have it in you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his own eyes watery as he looked down at you, forcing your head up as he held it between two big, warm hands.

You kept your gaze on the dirty ground. “Let me go,” you said, but it was weak.

“Y/N…,” he whispered, smoothing his thumb against your cheek. “Jesus.”

“What?” you asked, looking at him quick, fierce. “Are you pitying me?”

His eyes went wide and he shook his head. Looking at him now, he seemed pretty shaken himself. Why did the two of you keep bumping into each other like this? “No! No, that’s not it.”

“Then what?” you asked, shaking his hands off your face. “What is it, huh? Here to show off your money? Show me how good you’re doing while I’m working minimum wage? Huh? Do you like feeling superior?”

He swallowed hard, his expression revealing some sort of hurt you couldn’t name. “No! Please, it’s not that! Let me explain-,”

“No! You don’t have any right to ask me to listen to you!” you said, sobbing. You wiped your eyes with your forearm and shook your head. “Just leave me alone! Everyone!” you shouted.

Jungkook took your shoulders in his hands to keep you still and you tried a few times to shake yourself free, but to no avail. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

You kept crying, the ancient pain welling up from inside you like some age-old reserve finally erupting. Your body rocked with the force of your tears. “Isn’t it pathetic? The minute I start trying to reach out, I get stood up?” you asked with a manic laugh. “Doesn’t that just make you feel so good? Aren’t I pitiable?”

Jungkook’s own tears were pooling in his eyes and you could see them there, threatening to fall. “Please,” he said quietly.

You shook your head. “Isn’t this what you want? Someone to look down on? Someone to feel bad for?” you asked, face wet from the tears. “Can’t you just leave me alone?!” you shouted, loud enough to rouse the attention of a few people on the sidewalk behind Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook, without another word, sniffled sharply and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his strong hold for a few moments, writhing, before finally submitting. Without even meaning to, you wrapped your arms around his torso and sobbed into his black shirt. He held you close, resting his cheek on your head. You could have sworn you felt a few tears hitting your shoulder.

But before you could get too comfortable in his embrace, you pushed yourself away and stared at him, bitter, angry, from several feet away. You looked at him like a feral thing, like an alleycat. And the way he watched you was different than it was that day by the bench. It was worried now, like a shadow had crossed over his face.

“I’m sorry-,” he began.

You shook your head and shoved past him. “Don’t talk to me. Ever,” you spat as you walked by, rejoining the stream of people on the sidewalk toward the subway entrance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sua as the two of you left class.

Half a week had passed, and you were eager for more time to distance you from that unpleasant day. You’d received a slew of texts from your blind date, all of which had gone unanswered. They ranged from the typical I’m so sorry texts to more in-depth explanations. Apparently, he’d gotten nervous. Cold feet, he’d said. Nervous for what, you didn't know and you wouldn’t ask. You were meeting at a Burger King for God’s sake. What could he have been that nervous about?

You glanced at her and offered a tight smile. “Mhm. I’m good. Just…uh…gotta get to work later so I’m thinking about that,” you said, over-explaining. Of course, lying just wasn’t for you.

Sua sighed and hooked an arm around your elbow, leaning close to you as the two of you walked down the hallway. You edged away just slightly, and it seemed she noticed as she turned to you with wide eyes. You hated to admit it, but everything with that Nochu guy had made you wary of even Sua. They did know each other after all. Had this been one big setup from the start? Were the two conspiring to hurt you?

You shook your head and patted her hand with a smile. Of course not. Of course that was crazy. But…something about this whole thing had you feeling crazy. “Sorry,” you said quietly. “Just…met up with someone from my past the other day and it didn’t feel so good.”

She raised her brows. “What? You never mentioned anyone like that before…,” she said, her brows lowering. She looked a little hurt.

You swallowed hard. “Ah, well it’s no big deal,” you said, flitting a hand with a choppy laugh. “It’s in the past for a reason.”

She pouted. “You know you can talk to me, right?” she said, eyeing you.

And with those words, your chest constricted a little and a small pang of guilt clenched your stomach. You didn’t want to end up hurting her. She was sweet and she wanted to be close to you. But what could you do if you just weren’t ready for that? How could you tell her you may never be ready?

Instead, you turned to her and offered a smile. “I know.”

Blind Date: Y/N…

Blind Date: Please respond. Please.

Blind Date: I really really want to explain everything to you.

Blind Date: I know I really hurt you, but I want to explain.

Blind Date: Isn’t that selfish of me?

Blind Date: To hurt you and then ask you to listen to me?

Blind Date: I’m sorry.

Blind Date: I’m selfish.

You sighed as you watched your phone. The coffeeshop was quiet, fewer patrons now that the design students had finished their projects, and you felt safer looking at the onslaught of texts that just wouldn’t stop flooding your phone. You know you can talk to me, right? That’s what Sua said. She had reached out her hand to you.

And you’d pulled back.

You eyed your phone for a long few moments. Wasn’t it time to stop running away because you were scared of being hurt? Wasn’t it time to stop expecting someone to walk all the way across the tightrope to you and start walking to meet them in the middle instead?

Wasn’t it wrong to punish people for something someone else did?

You: Hey…

You: Sorry I haven’t responded. I just needed space I think.

Blind Date: Shit, I know. I’m so sorry.

Blind Date: You know I care about you though, right?

Blind Date: You know I wasn’t trying to hurt you on purpose, right?

You: I mean, we’ve only known each other a few weeks haha.

You: Honestly, I probably overreacted.

You: After everything that happened with that guy I told you about, I think I’m just a little too sensitive. And I took it out on you. And that was wrong.

Blind Date: No, no! Please don’t apologize. Jesus. It’s entirely my fault. All of it.

You: Haha it’s really not. I shouldn’t hold you and him to the same standards when you’re different people. That’s on me.

Blind Date: Can I see you?

You: Huh? So suddenly? I’m working…

Blind Date: The coffeeshop on campus?

You: Yeah…

You: Don’t come right now though!

You: I won’t be able to talk to you anyway.

Blind Date: I’ll wait. When do you get off?

You: Nine…

Blind Date: I’ll see you at nine.

You blushed, staring down at your screen. Since when was he so direct like this? And why did it make your heart race, just a little?

Sua was right. You definitely had a crush…

You watched the front doors as you began cleaning up the coffeeshop. Closing time was coming soon, and with five minutes until nine you were beginning to feel that festering fear that you’d be stood up again. But as that voice returned to your mind, you were quick to quiet it. You wanted to believe in people again. You couldn’t live your life all alone.

So you swept beneath tables and propped chairs atop them. You cleaned the windows. You hummed a pop song to yourself, trying to keep your mind busy. When you glanced outside, you noticed the spring showers had returned and the rain was falling in bullets from the dark sky. With a sigh, you settled down on one of the recliners by the window, watching cars and buses and people speed by. You wondered which one would come inside despite the sign now reading ‘closed’. You wondered who this person was.

Before you realized it, you were dozing off, struggling to keep your eyes open as you reclined against the comfortable cushions. Your breathing became more rhythmic, deeper in your chest with each inhale, and you snuggled into the back of the recliner with a heavy sigh.

And that’s when you heard it. The distinctive ting of the bell dangling over the front door. Your eyes opened wide and you saw his reflection in the mirror beside you. Tall, dressed in dark clothes, hoodie up over his head and an umbrella in his hand, trailing droplets of rainwater onto the wood floor. You wanted to greet him right away, to get a proper look at him, but with your heart racing the way it was you couldn’t find the courage. It was enough for you just to respond to his texts. And now he was here, corporeal, right behind you.

You shut your eyes tight and feigned sleep.

“Y/N?” he called, and somehow you recognized his voice.

No way.

It couldn’t be…

You kept your eyes shut and curled your knees closer to your chest. Slowly, you heard him mill around the shop before pausing beside your recliner. His footsteps got closer, rounding the side of the chair to stand right in front of you. And, quietly, he laughed. And you were certain now. You knew exactly who he was.

You felt a warm, big hand press against the side of your head, smoothing your hair down, and heard a fond sigh. “Jeez,” he mumbled. You felt him crouch down beside your feet and his arm dropped to rest on the arm of the recliner. He gently rocked the chair back and forth for a moment, humming. “Don’t hate me too much, okay?” he asked in a whisper.

And, without another moment’s hesitation, you opened your eyes and stared right down at him. “Jungkook…?” you asked, scanning his face.

His eyes were round with shock and his whole person was wet. He gazed up at you from where he crouched on the floor and, mouth agape, said nothing. Wordlessly, you reached a hand out and touched his cheek with the pad of your index finger. Soaking wet. You sighed and pushed to your feet. Jungkook stumbled a little to accommodate you as you slipped past him to the counter. You rifled through the cabinets before producing a towel. By then, he’d followed you to the counter and was waiting on the other side. Sighing, you waved a hand, signaling for him to join you behind the register. He jumped and followed your silent command, and suddenly you were staring at his broad chest up close.

You swallowed your nerves and draped the towel atop his head. “Dry off,” you said, hopping up to sit on the counter. The lights in the shop were low, and the music still bumped lowly through the stereo. It might have been romantic, if it was anyone else. “Then we can talk.”

He nodded and fluffed the towel through his hair, obscuring his face from view for a few peaceful seconds. “I…I know I have a lot to explain.”

“Yeah,” you said.

He peeked out from behind the towel with one eye, watching you. “Are you mad?”

“Fuming, actually.”

He nodded and let the towel drop to his shoulders. “I expected that,” he said with a sigh. He came to stand in front of your knees, looking right at you with enough sincerity to knock the breath from your lungs. Just like that first date. “I don’t know where to start.”

“So you know Sua?” you asked, letting your heels bounce against the counter’s cabinets.

“Ah, uh, yeah,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re in the same major, so…”

“And you transferred here?”

“Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes. “It was…no good out in Busan. I missed home too much.”

You nodded, watching your thighs on the counter. “Figures.”

He chuckled wryly. “You know me too well.”

“Thought I did.”

Carefully, he took a single step forward and you jumped, meeting his eyes like a frightened prey. “I never meant for you to carry all that with you for so long,” he said, brows knit and eyes hazy like he may cry. “I didn’t expect you to be so hurt.”

“That’s stupid,” you said. “You can’t tell someone you were only with them out of pity and expect them not to be hurt.”

“I know, I just…Jesus, I’m just stupid,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “Since I was moving away, I didn’t want you to waste your time waiting for me to come back, so I wanted to give you a clean break. Since I knew you wouldn’t wanna break up just because of distance.”

You stiffened. “You…what?”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Any of it.”

You felt like you’d been hit right in the diaphragm, like when you play dodgeball and someone throws a ball at your chest. You sat up straighter and stared at him, watching him carefully. “You lied?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes seriously. It really looked like he might have cried. “I didn’t think it was fair to keep you from meeting new people and making new connections.”

“Then why didn’t you tell anyone we were dating?” you asked, brow low, scanning him for any signs of insincerity.

His eyes went wide. “I…I told you before, my high school friends…they weren’t so great,” he said, shaking his head. “I meant it when I was texting you about all that. How t’s hard for me to find good people.”

“And you didn’t show up to Burger King last time because…?”

He sniffled. “I meant what I said about that too. I was…really nervous. I was scared you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me.”

You sighed. “Why weren’t you just honest with me from the start?” you asked, all animosity draining from your voice as you saw him wiping his red, swelling eyes. “Back in high school. Why didn’t you just tell me all of it then?”

He sniffed and looked away. “I was scared you’d think less of me if you knew I was so insecure. And I didn’t want you to wait for me in college, not when you could’ve been out making new friends.”

“Well, the opposite happened actually,” you said with a dry laugh. “I got really worried that any friends I made would be doing it out of pity.”

Jungkook stiffened. “You…you did?”

You nodded. “Yeah…”

“Shit,” he breathed out, gripping his forehead with two hands. “I’m so stupid!”

Distantly, the sound of the rain picked up outside. You nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at you once more, startling you with his sincerity. “I messed up so bad. I messed up everything.”

You blinked at him, standing nearly at eye-level, and slowly reached out to wipe beneath his eyes with your fingertips. “Well, you were right about one thing. I wouldn’t have accepted it had you not said what you said.”

He furrowed his brow and leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” you said.

He swallowed hard and you watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Really?”

“Well, yeah,” you said with a shrug. “Now that I know everything, it’s hard to be mad at you for being a jerk when you were really just being an idiot.”

He stared at you, inching forward so he rested just between your knees. “I’m so sorry,” he said again.

“Yeah, I know,” you said, letting out half a chuckle as you let your hands drop to his shoulders, giving them a pat.

“Really,” he said, nodding once as he stared right into your eyes.

“Jungkook, it’s-,”

Before you could finish, he had closed the distance between you, one hand grasping your jaw as he pressed a kiss to your lips. You jumped back, eyes wide, and stared at him in shock. He too looked shocked, like he hadn’t meant to do it at all. He shook his head, eyebrows knit, stuttering out syllables that didn’t add up to anything.

“I-I-you-I mean-,” he sputtered, irises shaking. You noticed no small margin of fear in his eyes, like he was terrified he’d messed things up again.

I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?

The words he’d trusted you with through the screen, his sincere thoughts. He really regretted it a lot, didn’t he? Your expression softened as he continued struggling to find words, and, without even really meaning to, you wrapped your fingers around his neck. He didn’t seem to notice, or he was too spooked to comment on it, but you slowly pulled him closer. Just like that day in high school, just like it was when you’d first entered hopefully into this fateful relationship, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, shutting your eyes. Stunned, he was completely still for a moment before eventually his hands moved to your hips, then slid along your sides, then hooked around your lower back. You hadn’t intended it, but the kiss was getting steamier with each passing moment. You felt his hot breath on your skin as he pulled back to adjust his position before crashing into you again.

As the fever settled down, Jungkook was the first to pull away, but only by a faction so he could speak. “I love you,” he whispered.

You stared wide-eyed at him, only inches away from you, eyes heavy-lidded and forehead resting just barely against yours. “O-Okay,” you said. It was all you could manage.

He chuckled once, still embracing you as he stood between your legs. “That’s it?”

“You expect me to say it back?” you asked.

He smiled, staring down at you. “I guess not.”

“You’re gonna have to give me some time,” you said with a nod.

He nodded too, shutting his eyes as he held you close. Slowly, he moved to rest his forehead against your shoulder, resting against the crook of your neck. “I understand.”

“Like…a lot of time probably.”

“I know.”

You let out a shaky exhale and only then did you realize your hands were shaking. As silly as it seemed, this reunion was pretty jarring to your system. The foundation on which you’d rebuilt your sense of self had broken down beneath your feet, leaving you to stand among the rubble once again. Just like back then. Everything you thought you understood had been proven wrong.

But nonetheless, you smoothed your palms against his back and rubbed gently. Not to comfort him, but to comfort yourself. To let yourself know that, even though it was scary, it was okay to trust people sometimes. Self preservation shouldn’t come at the sacrifice of human connection. And even though you knew the road ahead was going to be long and that trusting Jungkook again would take a long time and a lot of work on his end, you were ready to try.

So, as the two of you left the shop under one umbrella, you drafted a text.

You: Sua, I have SO MUCH to tell you.

#jungkook one shot #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts request #bts reader insert #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts fluff #bts angst #bts series #bts scenarios #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook reactions #jungkook request

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Super duper late thing for @oc-growth-and-development​ OCtober day 14, Cornered. I was super busy this week.

This can be read on its own but it’s a direct sequel to Day 4′s piece. Because tumblr is tumblr I’ll put a link to that in a reblog.

Also, content warning for religious trauma, I think? I did not base the Cavesong Cult on anything real but I think some warning is necessary for this.

Silvana didn't know why the men of the Cavesong Cult had her cornered. She was a simple village woman in the middle of her daily chores, getting some water from the river through her usual path, one familiar enough for her to navigate in her blindness.

"Miss Silvana, it's an honor to finally be in your divine presence," one of them said, voice trembling with delight.

"Um, excuse me?" She tried her best to hold back the shocked yelp she wanted to give, it would probably be rude around those important men. "I'm sorry but you must be mistaking me for someone else, I'm, I'm no holy woman, I'm but a humble villager under the grace of our God," she explained. No one had been forced to join the cult, but the people all came to accept the Cavesong God in some way. After all, His followers brought prosperity to all the villages in the area in name of their God, and had their magic as proof of His power. The more His influence spread, the more dangerous it seemed to be to invoke His wrath, and some defiant people had already paid the price, having been cursed with bad luck or illness or dried out crops.

"Oh, but you have been chosen to be so much more," the man said, getting close enough to caress her face. She recoiled from the sudden touch, and the man grabbed her by the arm. "There's no need to be afraid. You will finally be saved. You will be the next priestess."

"N-no, I..." the whimper of protest came out before she could stop it. She trembled in his strong grasp, terrified of what could happen if she upset him.

He pressed a finger to her lips. "Now, why would you deny it? God has chosen you to bless all the people in this land. If you reject your duties, surely terrible things will befall the village. You wouldn't do that to your people, would you?"

Why her? The priestess was vital to them. She would seclude herself in the holy grounds and dedicate body and mind to God and magic, securing their holy powers. Even the common people had several prayers to thank her for such an important role.

Why would they chose one this way? How could she shoulder all that? She would fail one way or the other.

But shaken by the man's words, she couldn't find it in herself to voice any more fears. She let herself be dragged away, head low to hide the fearful tears forming in her eyes.

She had never walked that far in her life, so she had no clue where they were anymore, she could only assume she had been taken to the holy grounds in the mountains, where the cult had been born. It was said it was once only a cave, but with magic, they had turned it into a mighty sanctuary, overseeing the passage between the region they oversaw and the rest of the world.

If any of the men had seen her cry, they had thankfully said nothing. She had had time to get used to their voices by then, they were four besides the men who held her, and didn't have the same grave tone as him. In fact, they sounded relaxed, complaining that the priest was getting a bit too paranoid sending so many to escort a single lady, and playfully joking about how special she was. To her humiliation she had also heard they laugh at her tripping countless times along the way, as she struggled to keep up with the hurried man pulling her along.

"Be at ease," he said, to no effect, "there will be no need for you to see or walk. You will only have to listen."

The words hadn't become any clearer or less ominous by the time they finally arrived. At first she heard their fellow holy men greet them, and felt the air change as they came indoors. Then all noise died down. The men behind her no longer cracked jokes or said anything at all, even their footsteps sounded more regular. Were they approaching the priestess' dwelling? She didn't know what to expect. Not for the first time she wondered what had happened to the priestess to start all of that.

She heard someone close a heavy door behind her, and the man who had guided her spoke.

"We have brought her, holy priest."

That actually gave her small relief. She knew the priest. Not only did he often preach in the village and lead the cult's magical effort, he had helped her personally when she needed the most, when she buried her old mother a mere year ago. Maybe with him there things could be cleared up, she was sure it had been only some big mistake.

She was pulled further into the room, her escort having adjusted himself to be at her side instead of in front as he had been so far.

She heard something in front of her move, the scratching noise of rock against rock. It grazed against her mouth, and the man finally let go of her arm to instead grab her head and press her against the stone shape.

"You will not talk," said the voice in front of her. She could barely recognize it as the priest's voice. It had no warmth, no energy, and was followed by a raspy noise.

"You will not run. You will not fight. You will not ask or beg. You will not cry. You will not harm yourself. You will not wish or desire. Should you do that, you and your village will be punished until not even rubble remains. No one will come for you. You will be proclaimed dead tonight, any sighting of you a haunt to be banished."

The stone shifted slightly, scratching her lips. Her arm ached. Her legs trembled. He continued in the same grave, monotonous voice.

"You will kneel in the depths of that cave, until your hear God's voice. You will listen, and the only words that will escape your lips will be His. You will listen to His songs, His magic. You will listen to His every whisper and secret. You will listen until you can tell all of His miracles, His cures to every ailment."

The stone pulled back. Her legs gave in, though her escort caught her by both arms this time, twice as inescapable. Once again she let herself be dragged by him, with no tears this time. She was shocked well past that.

Before walking away without a word, the man set her body to sit against some rocks, but she let it slip and fall to the floor without resistance. Without resistance was her chosen behavior for the day, and possibly her life from there on. It wasn't that part that bothered. She knew she was weak, every peasant should accept that from birth. She didn't mind bowing to higher powers, facing unfair hardships, and being dragged into pointless things. Her entire life was pointless, and it had been peaceful and lovely just like that.

This fate however, was a cruel mockery of her. Thrown into a fancy title, passed around by cruel people who expected so much of her, things she couldn't do. No humbleness, no peace, some futile turmoil where everyone would be doomed. What would happen when she failed, as she was obvious no real priestess? Who would be hurt? How many would be hurt? Why would they hurt the villagers for her mistakes, she had no family anymore and was too shy to have close friends, no one had reason to be involved in this, why not just her? She'd gladly stay with them if they didn't touch anyone else, why make her shoulder so much?

Footsteps approached, and someone wordlessly left a bowl next to her, leaving immediately after that. She recognized the smell of common fruits, freshly peeled. The fruits she grew herself in her small patch of land, the ones she'd eat at breakfast, the ones she'd serve to weary travelers in need of some hospitality.

It was the smell that belonged to a loving home, and the last straw for her. She wailed and wept into her hands, knowing they would disapprove of the noise, they'd warned her, but the guilt only made her cry more. She had worked so hard, no matter how much others looked down on her, all she wanted was an honest life, and now she had no clue what to do, if she'd ever have water to replace all those tears, if she'd ever get to cook again, if she'd ever feel a fresh morning breeze again.

The stale air of that chamber felt like poison. Back in the river they had cornered her. Here they had buried her alive. And that seemed like a long, long death.

Her screams died out into weak sobs, then even those dried out, and she was still alone. Time passed and more time passed, and she was still alone. Her stomach grumbled, and she was still alone, still with no intention of touching any food. Would they force her? Were they even real, had today been just a long nightmare? In that silence, nothing mattered, only the panic inside her mind wouldn't shut up.

"Eat."

She thought she had imagined the whisper, but the wind caught her attention. A weak breeze had blown from somewhere, and her relief was immense. Where did it come from, she assumed she was in a closed off place. She got up to her knees and ran her fingers along the wall, looking for some crack or hole.

It blew again, playing with the curls of her hair around her ear. "Eat," she heard, a little louder.

Silvana took a fruit from the bowl, understanding now the order, even if she didn't know where it came from. She hadn't heard anyone approach, nor did she feel any presence near her.

She felt once more that anguish in the pit of her stomach, that food was now something to be ordered to eat, no love, no care, hosts who didn't even bother to stay around. She clasped the fruit tightly within both her hands and held her head down.

"Please, please," she whispered, "I don't know what to do, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please talk to me, please just tell me what to do." The weakest breeze caressed her face for a little longer and then, defying logic, twisted and picked up strength only around her arm. The pain she felt from her escort's endless grip was soothed. She touched her lips; the scratches there were also gone.

"I am God," the voice said. "Worship me, pray to me. That will be all."

It was only more orders, but Silvana held tight to the brief kindness the healing miracles had shown her.

"Thank you," she said, and murmured a simple prayer before eating. She hoped that would be enough. She hoped God did not leave her in that silence again.

Theodora risked turning on the dimmest of magical lanterns for a moment, to see the sleeping face of the human woman she had taken pity on. For weeks she had sneaked around in that endless maze of caves and tunnels, unable to escape the watch of the Cavesong Cult enough to leave the mountains. The shame of lying and hiding away burned her spirit, but it wouldn't destroy her. She wasn't throwing her pride away; that was all for the sake of surviving as the last Air Elemental left, her father's beloved Sky Gift.

The Cavesong Priest was an utter fool who had killed her father to conquer the hidden power of the mountains. Even now as it consumed his flesh he still wouldn't repent, strengthening his hold on the region and believing himself holy enough to win a miracle cure. Theodora was a miracle cure yet had no intention to serve him, but if he was desperate enough to beg for messages in the wind she'd gladly play along.

What of the new priestess, though? She was a regular human with almost no magic, what did he expect to gain from her? Maybe he just didn't want to expose himself out there in the mountains, but how would a weak woman protect him more than his subordinates? It was pointless cruelty.

Her father always told her it was a duty of Elemental Spirits to protect humans as the weaker creatures they were. Having only seem the greedy, murderous lot of them, she hadn't had the chance. The young priestess however was merely a victim. Maybe she could be just as evil and corrupted if given the right temptation, but Theodora would say the same of herself if she had looked at the weeping human without a sliver of compassion.

She was no real god, but she could hopefully do something to keep that one safe. One day they'd both escape that hell.

#oc tober #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #fantasy #magic #despero #the priestess of cavesong #theodora the air elemental #silvana the priestess #the cavesong cult #cavesong priest #2020

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Brooklyn’s Sweetheart Chapter 12: Crimson and Violet

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Chapter Summary: She gets by with a little help from her friends, and Wanda is the best friend a girl could have during a family crisis. Steve and Bucky don't share that sentiment, but let's see them do better.

Word Count: 5,026

Warnings: Language, underage drinking, mob activities

Masterlist / AO3

A/N: So I’ve only just posted this story on Tumblr although I’ve had it on AO3 for months, and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the great response I’ve gotten so far! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Please send an ask to be added to the tag list!

ALSO, I want to say a special thanks to my beta reader Jessieray98, she's been a HUGE help with this chapter and with planning the overall story!! 🤗

For the next hour and a half after Steve left, Y/N paced around her room muttering to herself. Her sorrow and despair had been suddenly washed away like a riptide only to be replaced with outrage and utter indignance at what was happening to her.

How dare her mother and her supposed-father lie to her for her entire life? How dare they try and hide this from her, only to reveal it at the worst time? How dare her mother leave her behind in Brooklyn, while Obadiah rots in prison, leaving Y/N vulnerable to everyone the man had ever made an enemy of?

And then there was Steve and Bucky.

Steve certainly had some gall to treat her the way he had, and Bucky just sat around and let her have it. Bucky didn’t care enough to intervene or even try to stop Steve. What kind of friends were they? It was clear neither of them cared enough about her to even comfort her in her time of need. Would the mob always come before her, or just when it was convenient for them?

It didn’t help matters that almost immediately after they had left, two members of the mob barged into her house to “keep an eye on her”. Steve had sent them in to babysit her, and now she was confined to her room as they played cards and drank Obadiah’s liquor downstairs. 

She felt patronized, infantilized, and she just wanted some form of agency in all of this. Her rage was the only thing she had to herself anymore, the only thing she could control, and she wasn’t about to let that go.

What was worse was that she still wanted her boys to come back and comfort her in her time of need, but she stamped that thought down, clinging to her anger towards them instead.

She was so caught up in her emotions that she hadn’t heard her phone ringing, and it wasn’t until she picked up her cell phone to shoot Bucky and Steve a long, heated text message that she had been conducting in her mind, that she saw several missed calls and texts from Wanda.

Although she and Wanda were close friends in school, they hadn’t spoken much that summer aside from a few Snapchats and empty promises to get together soon. They had a blast together at her birthday party the previous month, but then she had gone off to Martha’s Vineyard and hasn’t spoken much to any of her friends since then.

Now she had five texts and three missed calls within the past half hour.

Wanda: Hey babe I just wanted to check in on you.

Wanda: Heard about your dad and I’m here if you wanna talk. You know I can relate.

Wanda: We should hang tonight to get your mind off things.

Wanda: I’ll take you out it’ll be fun!

Wanda: Call me!!

Just as she was reading the last text, her phone rang, Wanda’s picture appearing on the screen. She answered the phone, her voice small as she greeted her friend. “Hey Wanda, I just saw your—"

Wanda cut her off before she could finish. “Y/N! I’m so glad you finally answered! I was getting really worried about you.”

“Oh, I’m fine…”

Wanda snorted. “I doubt you’re fine. When Pietro got arrested, I was a mess.” Her brother had been arrested the spring before—right before their high school graduation—for charges related to their father’s bootlegging business. Somehow, Tony had gotten him off the hook, but she remembered the stress it had caused Wanda at the time.

“Wanda,” she sighed, reluctant to reveal how angry, sad, and conflicted she felt inside. In her case, it was more than her father being arrested—it was the fact that he wasn’t even her father, that her mother had dropped that on her and left, and that her two closest friends were doing nothing to help or support her in her time of need. Instead, they abandoned her to do God knows what with the mob—the very thing that had gotten her family into this mess in the first place.

But Wanda said her name gently, understanding and softness seeping through her tone. “You don’t have to lie to me. Really, you don’t.”

Y/N let out a shuddering breath and replied, “It’s just a lot happening all at once. And I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it… Steve and Bucky are being huge jerks.”

“Boys are dumb. They have the emotional capacity of a peanut.”

That made her laugh, and she wiped at the tears that had gathered in her eyes. “Thanks for calling…”

“Come hang out with me tonight! We can do whatever you want—it’ll get your mind off of everything.”

“I can’t. Steve has people here babysitting me.”

Wanda scoffed. “Well Steve didn’t count on me. My dad has people watching every time I’m grounded, but that’s never stopped me before.”

“What are you going to do, sneak me out?” Y/N asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Wanda answered matter-of-factly.

“How?”

“Your window is on the second story, right?”

“Yeah,” Y/N answered, crossing the room to look out her window. It was a straight drop to the garden down below, right into her mother’s prized hydrangeas. She had never tried to sneak out before, or even thought about it, but the logistics wouldn’t work. “But I don’t have anything to climb down.”

“Just trust me. I’ll be there in twenty minutes!”

 This time, trusting Wanda paid off beautifully. Wanda had shown up and snuck her out with a cleverly constructed rope made of bedsheets knotted together. Once Wanda had flung it up to Y/N’s window and she had caught it, it only took tying it to her bedframe and climbing down before she landed in the hydrangeas next to Wanda.

“Well if your mom’s not coming back, it shouldn’t be a big deal that her flower garden is ruined,” Wanda whispered, tugging on Y/N’s hand and quickly moving towards her car on the street.

As they buckled in and Wanda took off in the direction of her own house, Y/N asked, “How do you know my mom’s gone?”

“I was working at the Widow’s Web this afternoon and Bucky and Steve came in. They got the news about it and I overheard.”

“Oh.”

“I’m really sorry she left,” Wanda frowned and reached out a hand to take Y/N’s. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m here for you for whatever you need.”

Y/N nodded, mulling this over. After a few minutes, she said, “Tonight, I just want to forget about everything that’s happening.”

“Well I can definitely help you do that!” Wanda exclaimed, excitement coming over her face. “There’s a few parties tonight around the city. How does that sound?”

Y/N hadn’t been to that many parties, certainly never the crazy ones that Wanda always spoke about. The thought of it made her slightly nervous, but then she realized that Steve and Bucky definitely wouldn’t want her going to any parties. “That’s perfect,” Y/N answered confidently, a newfound urge to rebel against them surging through her.

“Great! But you can’t go to a party in that,” Wanda said, looking pointedly at her sweatshirt and leggings.

“I don’t have anything else…”

“You can borrow something of mine! We’ll go back to my place—my parents and Pietro are all gone tonight, so we can get ready in peace. I’ll do your hair and makeup, too!”

Y/N smiled. Maybe this was exactly what she needed—girl time with one of her best friends. “I really missed you this summer, Wanda.”

“Hey, don’t get sappy on me!” Wanda winked at her, then squeezed her hand. “I missed you too, babe.”

Once they arrived at Wanda’s house, Wanda put on Y/N’s favorite music and announced that they were going to pregame. Wanda made her a fruity drink with enough vodka to make her cringe with every sip, and they danced and laughed tried on clothes, and she easily forgot about how many tears she had spilled over the past 24 hours.

“That one looks so good on you!” Wanda squealed about a tight blue minidress that hugged every curve of her body.

“You can see my panty lines,” Y/N protested.

“You can borrow mine!”

“I’m not gonna wear your panties, Wanda!”

“Then go without.” 

Just the suggestion had Y/N bursting into giggles. “That’s out of the question!” 

“Ugh, spoilsport!” Wanda grunted and tossed her a black leather skirt. “Put that on. It’s thick enough that there won’t be panty lines.”

After stripping off the minidress and squeezing into the skirt, she looked expectantly at Wanda. “Well? Am I supposed to go to the party in my bra?”

“I mean, it wouldn’t look bad—”

“Wanda!”

“Here!” Wanda emerged from her closet with a black crop top with lace overlay. Once she slipped it on, Wanda smirked and nodded. “Yes, that’s the one. You look so hot!”

“Isn’t it a little too revealing?” she asked, tugging at the clothes on her body. The top’s neckline dipped low enough to reveal her ample cleavage, and it didn’t quite reach the high waist of the skirt, so a thin strip of her abdomen was revealed as well. The skirt reached her mid-thigh at least, but that was still more revealing than she usually wore.

“It’s perfect. I swear you look amazing!” Wanda rushed to get her strapped into a pair of stilettos, and then ushered her over to her vanity. “Now let me do your hair and makeup!”

After Wanda started curling her hair, they fell into conversation about Wanda’s new job, as well as her new romance.

“So you and Natasha are together?” Y/N asked in shock. She sat at the bench in front of the vanity, Wanda standing behind her curling her hair. Through the mirror, she could see how Wanda smiled excitedly at the mention of Natasha.

“Yeah, and it’s been really great!”

“But she’s so much older than us.” Although, Natasha was the same age as Bucky and Steve—and look at what they’ve been doing with Y/N. She supposed it was a bit hypocritical of her, but she had never considered their age difference, especially because they had been friends for so long.

“She’s not that much older than us! Besides, she’s so sweet and she buys me nice things. Like this, look,” Wanda pulled a silver chain out from under her shirt and revealed a big emerald pendant hanging from the end.

Y/N’s jaw dropped. “Oh my gosh, Wanda, that’s beautiful!”

“I asked her for diamonds but she said we had to be more committed first.”

She snorted. “That’s so typical of you.”

“What can I say? I have good taste and I know what I want.”

“Ouch!” Y/N hissed as the tip of the curling iron brushed against her ear. “Watch it with that thing!”

“Sorry!”

“You’re too drunk to be wielding a hot tool.” She numbed the pain by taking a large gulp of her drink, grimacing at the sourness of the cranberry juice and the aftertaste of vodka. “Natasha always seemed so intimidating to me. How did this thing between you even start?”

“Well, I interviewed for the waitress position at the Widow’s Web, and she was flirting with me all throughout the interview. Then after my first day on the job, she asked me out. What was I gonna do, say no to my boss?”

Y/N frowned. That arrangement didn’t sound exactly right, but she didn’t have enough relationship experience to know better.

Wanda started to brush out the curls, turning them into glamorous waves. “So what about you, huh?” she asked, “Any boys in your life?” The blush that spread over her face told Wanda everything she needed to know. “Oh my God! Who?”

Her blush only deepened as she shook her head, taking another big sip to avoid answering. Then she took a moment as Wanda locked in the curls with hair spray, closing her eyes and mouth tight, but after Wanda was done, she had no more excuses to stay silent. “It’s complicated!”

“Who is it?”

“It’s nobody you know!” Well, Y/N had never been great at lying to anyone, so Wanda could see through her lie like it was plastic wrap.

“Uh-huh, yeah. So who is it? Turn around, time for your makeup.”

“I won’t tell you!” However, she obliged in turning around on the vanity bench.

Wanda reached behind her for some face primer and got to work. “Then I’ll guess! Is it… Peter Parker? I know he likes you!”

“No, it’s not him! And he doesn’t like me!”

“Is it… Dave from French last year?”

“Ew, no, it isn’t Dave.” 

While Wanda guessed through every boy in their graduating class, she finished applying a light layer of blush and bronzer to Y/N’s face. As she swiped a golden-hued highlighter onto her cheekbones and down her nose, Wanda huffed. “Is it Pietro? If you’re fucking my brother, I’ll kill him.”

Y/N burst out laughing. “No, it’s not Pietro!”

“Good,” Wanda grumbled, reaching for a tube of eyeliner. “Close your eyes and don’t move a muscle.” Neither of the girls spoke as Wanda meticulously applied a perfect winged eyeliner to her eyelids. “There, perfect.”

Y/N turned to look in the mirror, and then took it upon herself to apply her own mascara. The end result was a glowing, sun-kissed look, perfect for the end of summer; the eyeliner and long lashes complimented the natural look perfectly with just enough of a dramatic flair for the party.

“I’m gonna get your secret romance out of you somehow,” Wanda said, and handed her a red liquid lipstick. “Here, this is perfect.”

“No way, the eyeliner is already dramatic enough.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Babe, winged eyeliner and red lips go together like Jay-Z and Beyoncé, please put on the damn lipstick.”

She conceded, applying the bright red lipstick carefully before blotting it on some tissue paper and moving aside so Wanda could do her own makeup. As soon as Wanda started on her eyeshadow, she started guessing again.

“Is it someone in the mob?”

“No…”

“That’s a yes,” Wanda rolled her eyes. “We really need to work on your lying skills.”

“I usually don’t need to lie.”

“Lying is a very useful skill. The trick is to not think about the fact that you’re lying.”

“That’s all I can think about when I lie.”

“Of course it is—you have too many morals to lie successfully. Don’t worry, I’ll break those down for you,” she smirked, sending her a sly wink through the mirror. Then she continued. “So it’s someone in the mob… One of Pietro’s friends?”

“No.”

“Someone way older than us?”

She hesitated. “Not that much older…”

A strange look crossed Wanda’s face that almost at once turned into realization. “Oh my God, you’re fucking Steve or Bucky! It has to be!”

“No!” But her voice was so high pitched, it gave her away immediately.

“It has to be!” Wanda repeated. “I’m so stupid—why didn’t I guess them before? You’ve been away with them for the past month at Martha’s Vineyard! Who else could you possibly be fucking other than them!” Y/N’s silence confirmed this. “Which one?” Wanda asked, pleading for the answer, desperation in her voice. “I have to know!”

“Neither!”

“Is it Bucky? It has to be Bucky, Steve’s still dating Peggy, right?”

A guilty look crossed her face. She had completely forgotten about Peggy, aside from Steve mentioning very briefly the previous day at dinner that Peggy wasn’t in the picture anymore. He had shut down any questions she had immediately.

“It’s Steve then?” Wanda asked, carefully reading her expressions. “Did Steve and Peggy break up?”

“I guess,” she shrugged. “I don’t know much about it.”

“So you’re with Steve now, then?”

“I don’t know, it’s complicated…”

Wanda hummed thoughtfully. “You know, I always pictured you with Bucky rather than Steve.” When Y/N didn’t answer, her eyes wide at the notion, Wanda’s sixth sense seemed to come into play again. “Oh my God, did you fuck him too?”

“No!”

Wanda squealed. “You did! Oh my God, you fucked both of them! I’m so proud of you,” she gushed, wiping a pretend tear from her eye. “I knew you had it in you!”

“Shut up!”

“Who did you fuck first?”

“Uhm… It’s complicated.”

Wanda’s excitement was palpable at this point. “I’m getting you so much drunker and you’re going to spill every detail to me!”

Two shots of vodka later, both of which burned going down and made her gag, Wanda was calling them an Uber to go to a party in Chelsea.

“I figure we’ll start with the one in Chelsea. Peter told me about it, and his friend MJ will be there too. Then we can skip down to Tribeca—my friend’s having a rager and I promised to stop by. Then we’ll see what happens from there!”

And although Y/N was apprehensive, nervous about the first real party she would be attending, the alcohol running through her system gave her courage, and Wanda’s excitement was so palpable that it rubbed off on her in all the best ways. She was buzzing for the night ahead, eager to see where it would take her, eager to forget about all of her troubles until the morning.

Sam: Past security. Going to find him now.

“They’re past security,” Steve sighed after he read the text message from Sam, leaning back against the wall outside the Metropolitan Correctional Center. He and Bucky were stationed outside the prison as security, while Clint and Sam were dressed as correctional officers in order to infiltrate inside, find Stane, and bring him down.

“Hopefully they take care of this quickly,” Bucky grumbled, pacing in front of Steve. Natasha was parked in front of the building in a white van, ready as their getaway. 

“Why’re you so antsy?” Steve asked, watching Bucky fidget with his security belt.

Bucky shrugged, wringing his hands, cracking his knuckles all at once. “I don’t like this, Steve. What if Y/N finds out it was us?”

Steve scowled. “We’re not the ones injecting him with that poison.”

“But we’re orchestrating it,” Bucky said. “We’re not innocent here.” Bucky looked at him with a gaze so full of fear and insecurity, Steve couldn’t help but get lost in it. Bucky’s emotions always tended to rub off on Steve at the worst of times, but it came over Steve like a spell now, the enormity of what they were doing, and how it would affect their girl.

Their girl. He kept thinking about her that way. In his heart, she was their girl, and now that her father would be out of the picture, she really could be. 

But he wasn’t acting like it, he realized. Not with how he had treated her earlier that day.

Steve shook his head, sighing, all of the tension releasing from his muscles. “She can’t know,” he answered, a warning and a plead all at once. “She would never forgive us.”

“Do you think she’ll forgive us for everything that’s already happened?”

“For keeping the secret about her father from her? She’ll have to. It wasn’t an option for us to tell her.” Stane would have killed them—he had done it before, after all. The man had never had any qualms about killing to keep his secrets.

“And for everything else?” Bucky asked. When Steve didn’t answer, only looked down at the ground, Bucky continued. “Stevie, we haven’t been good to her. You’ve been a real asshole to her these past few days. She just found out her dad isn’t her real dad, and you locked her in her room.”

Steve sighed, considering the situation. The concerned look on Bucky’s face told him that he truly may have gone overboard. In the stress from Stane’s arrest and planning his assassination, Steve lost control of himself, of his anger. This sort of thing had happened before, but he had never lashed out at Y/N so cruelly. Steve wasn’t above admitting to his mistakes—at least not to Bucky, his oldest and most understanding friend. 

“It’s been really stressful,” Steve said finally, taking a deep breath before continuing, “And I let it get the better of me. I was a real jerk about it.”

“Don’t tell me that, tell her.”

“I will, after this.” He couldn’t risk losing her, not when she was one of the only good things in his life. 

“Good.”

“We should probably bring her something to eat. She probably hasn’t eaten all day.”

“How about sandwiches and soup from the deli?” Bucky suggested.

“Perfect.” Steve cut the conversation off at that—they were still on a mission, after all, and they needed to focus, just in case anything went awry. 

The time passed dully as they alerted the others to guards entering and exiting the building. Sam and Clint had already locked onto Stane’s location in the prison and were on their way to him, and as soon as they injected him with the poison, they would be out of there. 

Steve was getting more antsy by the minute, eager to get back to their girl, to have this over and done with, ready to take care of her in the aftermath of Stane’s death. She would need their support then, more than ever.

Finally, a text message came through. 

Sam: Done. On our way out. Meet at van.

Less than a minute passed before they were all sitting in the white van, Natasha pulling onto Pearl Street and merging onto the Brooklyn Bridge. Sam and Clint quickly debriefed them.

“Got in and out without anyone seeing us,” Sam said. “Nobody even glanced our way.”

“Stane didn’t even notice us when we got him with the stuff. Stuck him right in the back of the neck,” Clint explained, lighting up a cigarette and rolling down the passenger side window.

Natasha accelerated the van to 15 miles past the speed limit. “The poison will mimic the effects of a heart attack. Nobody will know what hit him.”

“Good,” Steve muttered, lighting his own cigarette. “Because if any of us get caught, we’re all paying the price.”

“Jesus, Nat, slow down, will ya?” Bucky grumbled, “You tryin’ to draw attention to us? We’re right by the police department.”

“I’m eager to get back to the lounge,” she said flatly, “Some of us have obligations.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve snapped, on edge at her tone of voice, at the way she glared at him through the rearview mirror.

She shrugged, turned her gaze back to the road. “Just saying, you don’t seem to be too concerned about how a certain daughter of the mob is handling her parents abandoning her.”

Steve breathed out slowly through his nose, trying to control his temper. He wasn’t sure what Natasha was getting at or why she cared now. Plus, he had already realized he had fucked up, and he didn’t need her rubbing it in.

However, Bucky cut in before Steve could send any harsh words her way. “Cut the shit, Nat,” he said sharply, and when Steve glanced over at him, he saw an unusual expression of annoyance on Bucky’s face. Steve had never seen Bucky get cross with Natasha before. “What did you expect us to do? Disobey Stark’s orders to stay with her? She’s at the house, she’s perfectly fine there until we get back.”

Natasha didn’t respond, only accelerated faster. Steve spoke up, trying to keep his tone even. “We’re plenty concerned about her. Now we actually have the time to make sure she’s doing alright.”

The ride back to the Widow’s Web was tense and silent. Steve sent a text to Y/N that they would see her soon, hoping to butter her up a little and earn her forgiveness.

Steve: Sweetheart, we’re gonna pick up some dinner and head back to see you. You want your usual from the deli on Atlantic?

By the time they had gotten all the way to Bushwick, Steve had sent three more texts and still hadn’t gotten a reply, and he was starting to get worried that she was so angry to the point of ignoring him.

“Call her, would ya?” he directed to Bucky as they neared the Widow’s Web. “She’s not answering my texts.”

Bucky obliged, but his call went directly to voicemail. “Her phone must be dead,” he said, frowning. Natasha pulled up to the curb next to the lounge and stopped the car.

As they filed out of the car, Natasha cut into the conversation. “You can’t reach her?” When they confirmed this, she said, “Who do you have babysitting her?”

“Lang,” Steve answered, “I’ll text him about it.”

After sending Lang a text that instructed him to check on Y/N and ask her what she wanted for dinner, Steve followed Bucky to the back room of the lounge, where they all changed out of the uniforms that Sam had provided for them.

“Thanks for everything tonight, guys,” Steve said, shaking Sam’s and Clint’s hands. “I appreciate your help in this.”

“No problem, man,” Sam nodded, gathering up the uniforms. “If you need anything else, let me know. Hopefully the girl doesn’t give you too much trouble with all this,” he said with a wink. Somehow, Sam always seemed to see right through Steve.

Clint nodded. “I’m going back home after this, but Tony’ll give me a call if you guys need me.”

As they departed, Steve’s phone chimed. When he checked the message from Lang, his face fell. “Bucky,” he said sharply, “She’s not in her room—and her window’s open.”

“What?” Bucky asked, alarmed. “Where is she?”

“I have no fucking idea, but she’s not at the house.”

Bucky looked at Natasha, who had been lingering in the background. “Nat, did you ever send Wanda to go see her?”

“I told you not to,” Steve snapped, eyes flashing between Natasha and Bucky. A tense moment was shared between them, the vein in Steve’s temple jumping, Natasha’s fingers twitching almost imperceptibly, the only tell that she wasn’t as calm and collected as her expression would make it seem.

Her tone was cool as she spoke. “Yes, I did. I haven’t heard from her all night, though.”

Steve and Bucky exchanged a look, then focused their attention on Natasha. “Call Wanda,” Bucky commanded, “Find out where she is and if Y/N is with her.”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Natasha drawled, but obeyed and stared at them with narrowed eyes and a scowl while the phone rang.

They could hear Wanda pick up the phone, her voice ringing through the speakers, music and voices loud in the background. “Hi, Nat!”

“Wanda,” Natasha said evenly. “Is Y/N with you?”

Wanda replied, “Yeah, we’re at a party right now! Why?”

Natasha sighed. “Where are you?”

“What? I can’t hear you, it’s so loud here!”

“Where are you?” Natasha repeated, louder.

“Manhattan!”

“Yeah, Manhattan’s a big place. Where specifically?”

“I can’t hear you! I’m gonna text you!” And with that, Wanda hung up the phone.

Steve glared at Natasha. His patience was wearing thinner and thinner with each passing second that he didn’t know his girl’s location. The city was dangerous, she could be anywhere, getting up to anything—how was he supposed to protect her if he didn’t even know where she was? “I told you not to send Wanda over. She’s nothing but trouble.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, tapping out a text to Wanda. Seconds later, a reply came through. “They’re at a house party in Tribeca. I’ll drive you guys there.”

“Don’t bother,” Bucky said, “Just send me the address. We’ll go to pick her up ourselves.”

Natasha frowned as they turned to leave. “Steve, James… I was just trying to help.”

Steve looked back at her with a cutting stare. “Next time, don’t.”

The lights flashed red and pink and purple in time with the bass of the electronic music blasting through the speakers, and Y/N had never felt more happy or dizzy or ecstatic in her life. She and Wanda had been at a more relaxed party in Chelsea first, and after spending a few hours there playing drinking games with Peter’s friends, they took an Uber to Tribeca. 

Now they were three Jell-O shots in, and she felt like she could burst out of her skin. She told Wanda as much, and Wanda just laughed. “I knew you’d love this! I just wish I had dragged you out to parties sooner!” The song changed to something full of synthetic chords and a heavy drum beat that vibrated the floor and walls around them. “I love this song! Let’s dance!”

She had no time to protest before Wanda was dragging her onto the dancefloor and grinding up against her. Y/N got lost in the feeling of her body moving, the way the bass thrummed up through her skin, made her heart pulse in time to the tempo. She didn’t even realize when someone pressed up behind her and started grinding on her. Not that she minded—she was too drunk to mind anything, too wrapped up in the sensations inside of her to even pay attention to her surroundings.

So that’s why she didn’t realize Steve or Bucky were there at the party, storming towards her, until a large hand gripped her around the upper arm and yanked her away from the dancefloor.

Her eyes flew open as her center of balance distorted, and Steve’s bruising grip on her arms kept her from falling, just like his cold blue eyes glowering into hers pinned her in place, his face flashing crimson and violet with the lights. She froze, her wildly beating heart the only part of her moving as she waited for her predator to strike.

He shook his head slowly, a sinister smile spreading over his face, the calm in his expression only a façade for the fury raging beneath. “You’re in so much fucking trouble, sweetheart.”

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #dark!steve rogers #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #dark!bucky barnes #stucky #stucky x reader #mcu #brooklyn’s sweetheart #marvel #fanfiction

[thatlittledandere]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 31 and 40 for that shipper ask meme (sorry for picking so many but those questions are GOOD)

You're right, they absolutely are. I'm sorry in advance that this is gonna be LONG and I'm on mobile so I can't even add a read more;;

1. Talk about the first ship you ever had

So I'm SURE there were relationships I was invested in in movies and cartoons I watched as a child (I've always been a sucker for romance, even though there was that period when I didn't want to admit it) but I can't remember anything from very far back;; So it was either Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter or Ichigo and Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew, whichever I read first.

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life

GOSH. You can't do this to me. I guess Romione because it was the time in my preteens when I was becoming more aware of... stuff, in general, abs the two cemented my love for friends-to-lovers. Then Ioryuu, because I've never been AS invested in and passionate about a ship before and likely never will. Nothing can compare to that intensity and ngl I miss it;; I miss the genuine hype I felt in my heart that made me interact with people and make things. So many things. I honestly can't think of a third one with such a lasting impact, sorry;;

3. What's your current OTP?

I imagine Souyo scenarios in my head every night before falling sleep and every morning after waking up, this is not a joke not an exaggeration. I still feel a little traitorous saying this on tumblr but their dynamic IS somewhat similar to the way I see Ioryuu so-

4. What's your current NoTP?

I don't think I have one? I have dislikes, some of them strong, but I don't see any of them often enough to be, like, actively angry. I have better uses for my time than willingly exposing myself to stuff I don't like.

5. Do you have any poly ships?

Not generally, juggling two characters is enough work lol. The only poly ships I've ever really actively shipped are Niels, Duncan and Natalie from the web comic Niels And the Gang by humon and Kinatsuen from Boueibu, but neither are actively on my mind much these days.

8. Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

BOY HAVE I EVER. I've seen someone on tumblr have a side blog for self-shopping and not gonna lie, it's an excellent idea. My late teens were spent reading character x reader fics on Quotev and I started my fic career with the same genre. I don't really know what to do with myself when I DON'T actively ship myself with a character, which is my state of being now that Yosuke surpassed Yoosung as my favorite character;; Ibushi and Yoosung are the biggest ones but man oh boy I have shipped myself with characters from early age and I'm showing no signs of stopping! There's a reason that I main dating sims.

15. Have you ever "shipped at first sight"?

Not for long. I SUCK at forming first impressions. Usually if I start thinking I'll ship something, I end up not being so invested in it after all, and instead shipping something I swore off at first lmao. Which leads us to...

16. Talk about a ship you initially disliked

As a rule of thumb, all of them. I don't understand HOW it keeps happening but somehow almost all the ships I truly care/d about (that I didn't start shipping through osmosis before knowing them in the source material) started out as something I thought I "wouldn't be able to get behind." Gajevy. Shikatema. Sasunaru. Doctor/Rose. Karabita. Atsutodo. Kiribaku. Yoozen. Enatsu. Freaking IORYUU. EVEN SOUYO. IT'S BEEN YEARS I REALLY SHOULD KNOW THE PATTERN BY NOW

17. Talk about a pairing you've stopped shipping romantically

Like, I started to think they're better as friends after all? I guess NaLi. Then again, I mostly only shipped them out of spite in the first place because I wanted a counter for N/a//Lu, which I never liked at all;;

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping

Now this time I can say for sure that there isn't one. I can't come up with ships myself and stay on board if there isn't content for it, canon or otherwise;; It's not a conscious decision or anything, it's just how my mind works. I get attached to stuff by exposure, whether from fans or the source material, and if the source material has enough content for two characters for me to pick up on and become interested, it's guaranteed to be enough to become a somewhat popular ship.

21. Is there a ship you just don't get, but have nothing against?

Actually... That's the extent I go to with notp'ing these days. I'm passionate about the right to ship whatever you want so by proxy I can't have anything "against" a ship, even if the sheer thought of it existing makes me nauseous. And I know how to think from points of view other than my own, so I can usually see the appeal, even if it appeals to me personally less than eating dog shit while walking barefoot on rusty nails that are also on fire.

That said, the only ships I have on my Tumblr blacklist are Yoo//ra/n and Suza//lu/lu because they're both popular ships for characters whose tags I am/was following and therefore get suggested a lot even if I want following anyone who ships then. Oh, and all B/LMa//tsu ships! I generally can't feel good about incestuous ships, but can and will fight for their shippers' right to do as they please as long as they stay respectful. (never saw blmatsus who weren't respectful. saw a plethora of anti-blmatsus who were absolute demons. actually the reason i moved away from the last remnants of my anti mindset was that i didn't want to be associated with THOSE anti-blmatsus, when the shippers they wanted dead were all such sweet people. food for thought.)

22. Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

All of them?? Lmao I don't understand this question, isn't shipping all about liking the chemistry between characters? Or the potential for it I guess, in which case the chemistry is whatever you want it to be, which is great B) I'm sorry I keep accidentally dodging questions I'm bad at choosing examples from a long, unordered list

23. Which of your ships deserve better writing?

Hhhhhhh I shipped Jerza for years and was still unsatisfied with their ending, Jellal didn't get to heal enough and we didn't really see them working through their past in an effective way and getting comfortable around each other. It's like they were supposed to be friends to enemies to lovers but the last part didnt really develop and their relationship stagnated at the stage were they were both just permanently awkward out of regret, and couldn't bring themselves out of it even though everything was forgiven forever ago. Or I've forgotten a lot of stuff that happened. Very likely. Is your a case of bad writing or good writing not working out the way I wanted it to? You're asking the wrong person.

25. Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs/graphics or similar?

EYUP. Harumichi was my otp for like a whole year before I saw a single episode with them lol. It was crazy, but it was REAL. I've also went into shows already paying attention to things I knew my friends/people I follow shipped, kind of hoping I'd get into it.

26. Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic I'm writing these questions down from screenshots and I cropped the rest of this one out by accident rip

Eeeh I go for the obvious. Best friend pairs, obvious pining, some rivalry with sexual tension, though I don't really know what to do with those. Then there's the fact that I never see it coming sick Persona 5 reference bro and start shipping the couple I thought "should just be friends" at first. This is more about my relationship to the ships than their dynamic but it's very constant...

27. Is there a ship you've shipped for most of your life?

Hmmm well I got into HP and started shipping Romione sometime in mid elementary school so it's definitely been more than half my lifetime since, but I don't really know if I "ship it" anymore. I didn't start disliking them or anything but for me, "shipping" is an active intrest in a fictional relationship, so if it reaches the stage where I like it, in theory, but I don't have the feels, it doesn't really count. That's why I can say I like ships without shipping them. It's gotta be actively on my brain, man.

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love

I haven't mentioned Kannao once, which is criminal. So here's some of what I imagine their future to be like :D I've been getting new Persona followers recently so here's something for you to unfollow me over lmao

So first of all I ignore the canon that Naoto goes back to the city for her detective work after her first year of high school, shhh she stays in Inaba, only taking the occasional jobs. She and Kanji start dating during the spring break before their second year and get more comfortable with each other, so that the next summer they're still cute and very much themselves (which means somewhat reserved) but not as awkward anymore :) I haven't thought about what happens after they graduate but they get married in their early 20s and have a son <3 (Chie and Yukiko adopted their daughter only slightly earlier. They may or may not have had a bit of a competition going on) ((yes Souyo are very much together but if they end up having children I haven't thought about it it's later))

Kanji manages the textile shop and Naoto helps when she's free from detective stuff. They live in Inaba but Naoto is away quite often for her gigs;; She takes up a few jobs less when Kouta is little though so he wouldn't feel less close to his Mom than his Dad.

Both Kanji and Naoto suffered from unfair expectations growing up, so they try their best to make up for it with Kouta's upbringing. They want him to feel comfortable being himself and free to express himself the way he wants; they make sure he knows he'll always be loved and supported, and to never be ashamed of who he is. As a child it doesn't even occur to him that many social norms and social expectations exist, because Naoto and Kanji pretty much let him do whatever as long as he isn't hurting himself or anyone else. They might go a little overboard though, giving into Kouta's whims without much consideration at all. The Amagi Aunties enforce rules and keep kids grounded in reality much better lmao

40. If you could change one thing about your otp, what would that be?

HMNGHNMHGNMGH I WAMT YOSUKE'S INTERNALIZED BULLSHIT ACKNOWLEDGED!! It's there AtlUS!! Stop pretending oh my god.... I love the Dancing All Night story mode (so far. I am by no means done); Yosuke gets cool moments and Yu's internal monologue really shows how much he appreciates him. The dynamic is so much better than with a silent protagonist, and thank god they didn't go with the tactless anime Yu (as fun as he is). I know there are a bunch of nods to the cut romance across spinoffs but mannnn... I wish they were more serious about it. At this point it's not even that far-fetched to think Yosuke has feelings for Yu that he may or may not be aware of, and I know that Yu as the player character can't be too tied down to one option in canon, but still... Even the clown gets tired of jokes at some point. One can dream.

40 ship questions

#asks #anon #about me #this took like three hours and i didn't even take breaks shjddhjjdfh #i'm not complaining i love answering questions but like #i thought i'd still have time to do something else after #it's almost 3 am now;; it wasn't even midnight when i started;;; #i have another ask in my inbox but i'll have to leave it for tomorrow now orz #also sorry for dropping a bunch of ship names on you without specifying characters or fandoms #i have no excuse i just didn't want to do it #oh and if you're heavily in the 'naoto is trans only go die' crowd... this is the wrong blog for you #i respect other headcanons and preferred readings but it has to go both ways #and i prefer her as a woman if it wasn't clear from this #for personal reasons #that i'm not required to specify #if you make a post referring to naoto as them that's awesome and that's who they are in it #and if you think he's a trans guy but accept not everyone sees him that way that's awesome keep that up #but if me calling naoto her makes your blood boil for whatever reason then unfollow and block if you need to #that's great that's what taking responsibility over your experience is #i'm not guilt-tripping anyone into staying my headcanons are no better than yours

[orionsangel86]

So, after a long conversation with super-powerful-queen-slaynna, whom you can thank for me sending this message, so like... if you like it good, if you don't blame them, I do want to apologize for assuming you were saying people can't talk about Destiel, its shippers and how much they dislike it in their group chats. That's what the post came off to me, as if you were policing what people could and couldn't say in these GC about Destiel. Slaynna made me realiza that you meant your post as a 1/2

warning to Destiel shippers who might wander into them. I understand this, because whenever a Destiel shipper follows me, I make it a point to warn them my blog might not be a positive space for them precisely to avoid this sort of unplesant interactions. It also came off as you were invalidating and dismissing the bad experiences people might have had with misbehaving Destiel shippers, which I'm sure you're nice enough NOT to do. My beef is really not with you, or Tink, or any other Destiel 2/?

meta writer, my beef is with shippers who are genuinely hateful and do hateful things. You simply came off as you didn't believe there are Destiel shippers who do these things at all. That say, I won't apologize for venting to like-minded people about my utter dislike for the ship, because we do in fact do that. But I don't think it's fair you walked in on us at that point and extrapolated that's all we do. BTW there is in fact an Anti-Destiel GC and the irony is, if you had walked into that 3/4

one 24hrs earlier, you would have in fact found people gushing about Megstiel and Sastiel, LMAO. 4/4

...

Okay, I’ll give you pointers for being bold enough to come explain this in my ask box, and I commend @super-powerful-queen-slayyna for reaching out to try to calm the stormy seas. I am most likely not going to make any further comments on that post anyway because it has blown out of control and has escalated into a full blown ship war post which I never wanted when I sent it. It’s now Destiel shippers and my friends trying to defend me or people blatantly calling me names and using unnecessary language which I am not even going to acknowledge or give the time of day as I don’t go in for that sort of childish name calling (unless you count my use of the word bronly but some things I think even we can agree are a necessary evil).

My post was a response to my own hurt and irritation at coming across two GCs, one for Sastiel, and one for Megstiel, which were both recommended to me by Tumblr, which were not tagged as anti-Destiel that I could see, that appeared on the surface to simply be places for people to discuss and squee over those ships. In both GCs I saw nothing but hate and lies and other upsetting comments about Destiel and Destiel shippers. It was extremely disheartening to see that in what on the surface appeared to be safe spaces. Because here’s the thing, these shipper GCs should be safe spaces. I have friends that are multishippers, that like Sastiel (and even the odd few who like Megstiel even though admittedly I don’t anymore.) There are plenty of other people out there in fandom that might like all three ships (I’d imagine those people simply want Cas to have all the love in which case SAME). 

To get one point very clear, I don’t actually care if people hate Destiel. I’m not going to preach to anyone about Destiel unless someone comes to me directly or comes scrolling my blog. I always tag Destiel so anyone who uses Tumblr blacklist should be able to avoid my blog completely. I would never intentionally go looking in an anti Destiel chat group. I’ve seen it all before anyway and it’s the same old arguments that really don’t affect my shipping preferences or my beliefs. 

What annoyed me was that those GCs were not anti Destiel chats. They were Megstiel and Sastiel chats. They were places where impressionable young Megstiel and Sastiel shippers could come across, who have zero feelings towards Destiel, and find themselves being told a bunch of lies and nasty crap about Destiel shippers and the ship. They are places where Destiel shippers who like to ship those other ships too might come across and suddenly find themselves isolated and alienated, which only perpetuates retaliation from those Destiel shippers and potentially causes the hate that you stress is so virulent among Destiel shippers to begin with.

My post was a warning for multishippers who are also Destiel shippers or at least Destiel friendly, that those GCs were being used to spread hate about Destiel. It was also an FYI to the people in those GCs that their hatred was very much public, in case they weren’t aware. I tagged the ships because I wanted people who ship Megstiel and Sastiel to see it, especially if they are Destiel friendly, because yeah, I’d want them to avoid those GCs.

Yes I then got snarky. I claimed that this does kinda prove a point because no Destiel GC that I’ve seen includes a bunch of hate and nastiness aimed at other ships. Sure, there is a high chance that there are hateful Destiel shippers out there. There are certainly a lot of bitter people on Twitter who piss me off when they scream queerbaiting at the writers so yes, of course there are bad eggs. I was shocked that from what I saw, there was no squee or shared theories or excitement about the ships, just page after page of hate aimed at Destiel shippers. So yes, perhaps I happened upon both convos right when those topics cropped up (which would be rather coincidental) and perhaps I had just missed the topics that I was interested in checking out - the theories, the meta, the spec... That’s what I was interested in. Since these GCs are a way to keep a finger on the pulse of what the fandom might be thinking in terms of the show and shipping and I was curious. Believe it or not I actually like to keep an open mind even though Megstiel is something that gives me a bad taste in my mouth ever since I sat myself down and truly thought about it. 

I generalised. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but those GC convos pissed me off. I don’t know a single Destiel shipper who would spend hours of their day just ranting about how awful Megstiel shippers are and how much they hate the pairing. I HAVE debated with friends about the suspected infiltration of the Megstiel ship by Bronlies who are using Meg to get Cas out of the way and to be spiteful towards Destiel shippers. This IS something that has been happening in recent years and I think even you admitted that in one of your replies to my post.

I also wasn’t trying to invalidate your experience with hate. I would never do that. The one thing I will say about anon hate in particular is that you don’t know who it is coming from. I occasionally get anon hate but I certainly don’t immediately assume it’s a w*ncest shipper just because I can’t stand w*ncest. Getting a message in your ask box that says “go kill yourself” is horrible, believe me, I know. But if that’s all it is, you can’t assume the sender was a shipper at all. Unless the message was “I ship Destiel and you can go kill yourself” you just can’t assume. If you have had actual Destiel shippers come and attack and threaten you and send you those messages directly then 1. I am so so sorry because no one deserves that kind of abuse, and 2. I hope you exposed them if you could. Because if there is one thing I have learnt about the Destiel shippers in MY circles, it’s that we find that kind of behaviour completely unacceptable and we WILL call it out from our own side if we see it. 

The reason I have such a high opinion of Destiel shippers being the “nice” people in fandom is simply because I have never seen that kind of behaviour from them. I interact with a lot of people. I have seen Destiel shippers get overly passionate, I have seen them get upset and angry when people lash out at them. I have seen them turn bitter and negative and go off on rants about the show. I have seen them dog pile on an anti’s post to provide evidence against a false claim “Kripke said he’s straight” and I thought it was a bit much... but it wasn’t hate. It was a reaction to years and years and years of being laughed at, called delusional, mocked and ridiculed by all other sides within the fandom. Destiel shippers are desperate for validation. They are desperate to disprove the lies. If people actually listened to us, or read the countless posts that have been written clearly providing evidence and sources to disprove every lie and false claim against Destiel perhaps we wouldn’t be so defensive. That’s what happens when you’ve been gaslighted for 11 years. 

But regardless, I’m not here to get involved in shipping wars. You’ll continue going on hating Destiel, and I will continue going on and, well, not hating, but very much disliking Megstiel in canon (though I have read some very sweet Destiel fics where Meg is Cas’s best friend and enjoyed the characterisations there.) 

My post was never to gatekeep and stop you from ranting about Destiel. Rant away to your hearts content. As I said above I really don’t care if people hate it. All I ask, is that you keep that kind of content in places that are clearly labelled as anti Destiel. So that should a Destiel shipper want to check out a Sastiel or a Megstiel GC, they can do, without feeling completely unwelcome and hated on just for enjoying Dean and Cas’s relationship as well. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask. All it takes is one tag right? Create your Megstiel GC and by all means rant about Destiel in it, but please just tag it as Anti Destiel.

Thank you for reaching out to me and explaining your side of things. I do appreciate it. 

#fandom drama #ship wars #fandom wank #this got long #and is officially the last time i'm talking about it #inkbleeder

[ayakashiramblings]

Dawn and Twilight’s Social Media Accounts

Kuya

@NevermoreButSnore.

1230 followers.

Yes, I copied Edgar Allan Poe. Yes, I’m not sorry about the rhyme. Or calling him out. 

Not that he really cares.

Insists that he is a headcanon creator on Twitter 

Everyone who follows him knows that he is lying. 

If we really had to classify him as a writer, it would one who posts those way-too-accurate posts about writers complaining about writing. 

Like the notebook hoarding one. Not that anyone here in the fandom is guilty of that, haha... haha... ha.

Ironically is one of the more popular ones out of the whole group. 

His flat responses and laziness are way too prominent to NOT be noticed. 

If you actually tentatively sneak into his DMs though, for writing tips, he will patiently listen and... rather bluntly advise you. 

It’s still advice though and is always the type to check out and reblog any short fanfics.

It just has to be weird, sporadic hours because he is the type to fall asleep with the phone on his face. 

Koga Kitamikado

1230 followers.

@CapitalKayKay

Listen, there is a reason why a lot of successful businesses chose Instagram as their social media so Koga is no exception. 

What makes his account stand out, as you can see from his rather cheeky username, is that he is willing to be an open book. 

So he isn’t constantly shoving down any products he is sponsoring or whatever piece he is endorsing. 

It’s more of genuinely wanting to hang out and explore what the world has to offer. 

Whenever he posts a picture of the gang together, he’s the one tagging all of them, even the ones with hard usernames.

And there’s always a nice comment thanking whoever hosted the fun time or being appreciative of the area and the locals.

It helps that he has a sense of humour so the memes are always just the right amount of teasing but nothing too bad that will deter potential clients.

Because of his down-to-earth nature, he reels everyone in.

Uses the space to invite everyone following him on any celebration/casual outing.

The thing is... he has a lot of followers.

So... good luck.

Aoi

1150 followers.

@DeredArtTooTsun

Look, even he knows he is a Tsundere. It’s a small victory getting him to acknowledge that, let alone use it to brand himself here.

But god, he’s the man I’m most jealous of on Tumblr.

PERFECT BULLET JOURNALS AND SKETCHES.

Got the spreads that literally define ‘aesthetic’, a perfect lineup of art materials even with pencils that have their numbers faded, and somehow, the emotions can pass through the paper and screen.

Even does tutorials on perspectives, positions with cute annotations. Just don’t praise them for being adorable though and focus on improving your skills, dummy.

Ironically though, it’s his mindless vents that get the most number of notes.

It helps that the pics include him, a very cute... I mean... manly boy screaming at very, very hot men.

A bit baffled but whatever it takes to get commissions. 

That’s right, he takes them. At least there is a back-up option should the restaurant ever go out of business. 

Spoiler Alert: Still doesn’t get paid as much. People, have you seen the number of talented artists here? Aoi might be in the rankings but it’s still hard attracting business.

Support your fandom artists, everyone!

Ginnojo

1000 followers. Just nice.

Ginnojoz

Poor grandpa didn’t intend to put that extra ‘z’ letter, it was a typo because scales don’t get along with haptic touch. 

And unfortunately, doesn’t understand how to change it. 

Once, he was huge on Vine before it died. The end of an era that he has to witness again. RIP.

Gin-Gin, it is RIGHT. THERE.

Expect to find his super short self-defence videos and Book Club Readings on YouTube.

Girls actually appreciate his instructions and attempts to provide help even if they are alone. 

He did try to respond to the nice ones and actually succeeds. 

It’s always easier getting to know the language of women when you don’t really see/touch them.

A deep baritone is perfect for some sexy excerpt of a historical novel... 

Until he corrects the setting.

In fact, he sometimes rage-quits and rewrites it. 

Unlike Kuya, him doing those established ideas actually catches on. 

Yura and Gaku

1500 followers.

MelodyandTheBeat. 

... Tik-tokers. Tik-Tok people? 

WTH do you call them?

As you can see, they are the most popular since it’s combined stardom.

Look, their covers and music mixes are beautiful.

They always have their own version that somehow combines traditional Japanese music... with k-pop.

And of course, food porn. 

Just be grateful there isn’t that awful squelching sound you hear when you consume jelly or the breaking of chilli seeds. 

Listen, I usually separate them because it’s never nice to be grouped as having the same activity as your twin. 

But in this case, being both equally beautiful AND talented sells their uploads. 

Even the cringy ones made because Yura is such a Luddite. 

Like just turning his head and being amazed his hair can turn so many colours, being impressed with each tilt until he gets to a black shade. 

Suddenly hurls the phone away. Gee, wonder why? Guess black isn’t the new... black for him?

Gaku sometimes even introduces new filters he created based on Yura’s random requests that strangely get circulated on the site. 

Oji

550 followers all know Oji-Sanz

Unlike Ginnojo, he deliberately adds the ‘z’ letter to sound cool.

You wanna know what’s worse? 

He actually uses Facebook. 

Aoi decides to give up on him. Nobody blames the poor student.

It’s apparently some old form of social media? Never used it, no sirree. 

Always changing his relationship status but at the end of the day, he’s single and ready... 

To post about all the lovely ladies destined to enter his restaurant. 

He thinks it’s great publicity. 

It really isn’t but one good thing about Oji is he includes EVERYONE.

This man respects his customers and always helps advertise their wares, especially if their connections lead to more resources. 

And less grocery shopping on his part.

Does post the recipes he and Aoi created but will never use because the Milk Hall had a certain style to follow.

Officially makes Aoi his son... on Facebook at least. 

Aoi now tolerates the account. 

Barely. 

Toichiro Yuri

WhatheMeSay has 1231 followers! 

In your face @CapitalKayKay and @NevermorebutSnore!!

You know, I’m so glad that there aren’t any users with those names because I’d be so scared of accidentally tagging them.

Also, geddit? Because... What the fox say? 

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding... yeah, I’ll stop.

Pinterest Guy. And actually does spend on his ‘hobby’ to show off to everyone.

It does boost you and your father’s sales so there is nothing to complain about. 

His boards are always alliterated just to sound super catchy and it works so long as he gets the right emoji. 

Kabuki plays better be promoted or else.

Filled with candid pictures of his victims all taken at different angles you didn’t know were possible and in varying degrees of hilariously misunderstood positions.

He even supplies a donation link, heavily leveraged by his followers, since there are incentives tied to it like early access.

A bit suspicious the photos look like cropped out parts from Koga’s posts and some of the text resembles Kuya’s... er... wisdom?

He takes an unholy amount of selfies when he thinks no one is looking and so they are always surprised upon finding them on the Selfie Board. 

There is a locked board that no one can access, even his followers who are his comrades in real life. 

It’s actually just one picture in there. 

It’s you smiling and giggling at a joke of his. Not even you know it’s been taken. Guess he is as soft as his fur, eh? He better come out soon or else.

Kuro

Kuroruohtumbling

Ginnojo is unfortunately just old enough to have grown up with Scooby-Doo to understand the reference.

Snapchat, like a snapping snake! Hiss!

Unironically loves the puppy face.

Ok, but the glimpses of his stunts help show snippets of the circus life. 

He and his whole troupe family will even don costumes best suited for certain filters.

Sometimes ropes in Ginnojo... and by sometimes, I mean enough for everyone to start wondering if the stoic man is part of the act. 

To be fair, he randomly hugs people and ranks them here.

You, of course, were number 1. 

Now, if only he didn’t use the bloody song to announce it but you forgive him.

Maybe even risks revealing his ayakashi form before deleting the message to you.

Loves making international fans and learning various languages through each post, sort of like flashcards but animated and more fun!

And with 1200 followers, he might become a polyglot like Koga.

Shizuki 

Everyone bans him from creating one. 

Because they know the power of his roasts is too great. 

Little do they know he goes undercover. 

Underground.

And under their noses.

That’s right. His rant town on... MySpace. 

Unapologetically uses a good chunk of his salary from serving the House of Yuri just to get nifty themes that help with the whole burning process. 

Look, there’s a reason he and Oji are friends. 

This is why. 

Their taste in women seems fine but we really have got to do something about their affinity towards DEAD PLACES.

To be fair, he made the whole thing drunk but that doesn’t mean he should maintain it SOBER.

He just feels that it is a waste of space if he doesn’t utilize it. 

And it also becomes kind of cathartic. From the intrusive hugs to his master and Sir Gaku irking each other to no end, he needs it. 

Zero followers... but only because it’s super private. 

It becomes 1 the moment you jokingly create an account. 

#ayakashi romance reborn #ayakashi rr #ayakashi aoi #Ayakashi: Romance Reborn #AyakashiRR #ayakashi ginnojo #ayakashi kuro #arr kuro #kuya #gaku #ayakashi kuya #kuro #arr kuya #kuya the tengu #ayakashi koga #koga kitamikado #arr koga #toichiro yuri #arr toichiro #ayakashi toichiro #toichiro the kitsune #arr shizuki #shizuki #ayakashi shizuki #arr aoi #aoi #ginnojo #ayakashi oji #arr ginnojo #Oji

[hoegrove]

hi! i'm also a gif maker, and i wanted to ask how do you deal with people stealing gifs? i'm not sure if you've had to deal with it but i've seen people use my gifs in posts and i was just wondering how'd you deal with it if it was you?

Hello dear :) this is actually something that has been on my mind these past days and weeks. I started making graphics and gifs quite some time ago when I was 15 (or something), so it’s been 13 years (big oof right there) by now, and yeah, I had to deal with it in the past. (more under the cut- this got too long)

It’s... frustrating, to put it mildly. There was this one girl who took my stuff, added a stupid Photoshop-brush, and actually put her watermark on it- I was furious. But what can we do, really? We do not own the material. Yes, we spend fucking HOURS working (with the coloring, cropping, re-sizing, you name it) on whatever graphic or gif, but in the end, we just don’t own it. Sure, we can slap our name on it, make it as prominent and visible as we like, but... who wants to ruin their work like that?! I used to add my name (barely visible) in the bottom right corner, but I stopped doing that. I just didn’t like it; it was awful.

So, as an adult (I sometimes have to remind myself that I am indeed an adult now, JFC), how do I deal with it?

First of all: Try not to take it too personal and/or be offended by it. Most people just don’t know. They do not know that posting stuff they didn’t make is bad (read: sucks ass).

Then: Message them- ask them to PLEASE add some credits (nooo, “credits to owner” does not count, fuck right off with that- pardon my French, please), or take your gifs down. (Maybe tell them to use the tumblr-gif-search?)

Like I said before, most people do not know better; I had people apologizing to me and then adding credits or (even better) reblog the original. But don’t get your hopes up, that doesn’t happen often. Just message them, try to be as polite as possible (the butthurt is very strong with a lot of people, believe me), and ask them to take your gifs down or credit you properly.

I’m sorry, this is probably not helpful at all :( I didn’t mean to rant. Just, don’t take it to heart or stop doing what you like, okay? ❤ Much love and take care!

#various

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles 

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #s1ep4

[timeless-season-four]

Episode Recap: Chinatown, Part 2

Welcome to our first episode recap! @only-freakin-sunflowers has us covered with her thoughts on the season premiere, and we hope to have her take appearing every Tuesday as we go forward....

Welcome back, Clockblockers! At this point, our dedication is only matched by our Time Team’s to get Rufus back. Us too, guys, us too. And I am putting back on my mustard-stained cheerleading shoes for the first time in three years to gab about my favourite time travellers and to bring you a recap of what went down in our very first episode of what looks like a very captivating season. (Thanks, Hilary!)

Before we go anywhere new with our team this season, we’re situated a little ways before we left off: back in 1888, with an unfortunately dead Rufus. And Jiya, holding him, and Wyatt. It’s agonizing. We find out why they left him there, which satisfied me, because I wondered why they didn’t just haul him home for a funeral. But they can’t do that. They can’t take more than 4 people in the Lifeboat, even if one’s dead. And, also, they’re being shot at and they gotta run.

And then you realize it’s all just someone’s nightmarish flashback. And that the opening credits haven’t even rolled and you’re already on the edge of your seat. (No, there was no time to get up and make popcorn, not yet).

Next, we find ourselves where we actually left off: in our lovely little bunker with Bearded Wyatt and Bobbed Lucy and… whatever that ship is they came here in, and wherever it is they came from. I have to admit, while it was frustrating that future!Lyatt can’t tell us much, when Lara Croft – I’m sorry, Lucy– told our team that they have to save Rufus, because “everything depends on it”, I cracked a big grin. THEN SHE SAID THE TIMELINE IS COLLAPSING? (Oh look, if it isn’t the consequences of their own actions.)

Although we can blame a lot on Emma, as in, almost everything bad– that one, maybe not (although, now that I think about it… not Emma per se, but Rittenhouse….). We find Emma strutting into a Rittenhouse boardroom meeting like the power boss she is (hating her and admiring her aren’t mutually exclusive), where we, and she, meet Mike Temple. He wants to take Rittenhouse to new, quite frankly scary heights. His visions of bringing Rittenhouse into the present, with things such as a Rittenhouse app and flashy advertising, make me shudder. And I think that’s the point. "America is Rittenhouse, Rittenhouse is America,” he says. Oh, Mike Temple, you are unfortunate but true, aren’t you?

There are two scenes of future!Lyatt having really profound conversations with their past selves, AND the first one starts off with them acknowledging The Beard and the fact that Lucy looks like Lara Croft. Wyatt isn’t too happy with the situation, overall, he’s too macho for therapy (as a student currently in a clinical counselling course, *shakes head*) And Flynn referring to future!Wyatt as “Wild Wild Wyatt,” I cracked up. Now while it won’t come till much later in the episode, I’ll skip ahead. Future!Lucy and current Lucy’s conversation had to be one of my favourite scenes of the episode. The way she tells her younger self, "I’m proud of you, you know. You’ve already been so brave. So strong.” Ugh, my heart. Lucy needed that, and she needs a hug. Our poor girl is so broken and she just, she needed that.

Anyway, finally, the mission to #SaveRufus. It seems to be straightforward, right? What can go wrong except everything, right? They know how to pre-program the Lifeboat, so they don’t need a pilot. They have a plan. They have Flynn, and they have Wyatt, and they have… Connor. We have the best “ragtag rescue team” we could ask for. What can go wrong except everything?  Well first of all, no one accounted for a Little Not-Red Riding Hood to appear out of literally nowhere and shift the atmosphere. Not to mention, she brings potions with her! Hocus Pocus, she saves Rufus?! I have a theory on this mysterious mage, but I’ll hold my tongue (also, everyone, please give a warm welcome to Tiera Skovbye as our new young blonde heroine, Jane). Does anyone else have guesses about who she may be, or how she got there? I’d love to hear them. And, the guys didn’t exactly account for weird time continuum shifts, being spotted, or not being able to get home. This mission may have been stressful for them but it was stressful for us too, “YOU’RE TOO LATE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE TOO LATE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE STUCK, YOU CAN’T BE STUCK, GET UNSTUCK!” But our super smart little chickadee Jiya saved their asses, even if she was going through something funky back in the bunker (uh, not to mention grief). Something funky back in the bunker, like the girls experiencing some unsettled memory loss as the timeline changes and leaves them behind. That’s some scary shit.

Back on that discussion Lara Croft and Lucy had, that I touched on earlier. Lara cared to share that the reason Rufus’ salvation was so dire was not only because duh he’s the backbone and pilot of the team, Wyatt and Lucy’s best friend, Connor’s pseudo-son, and the love of Jiya’s life, but because his big brain is the one to stop the timeline from becoming one big split end and splintering off in an unknown amount of unpredictable directions. But that wasn’t the most unsettling thing Lara Croft said (before we continue here– I’m calling her Lara Croft because, hello, but that haircut actually really suits her.) And then there was that other thing she slipped in, when she starts talking about Lucy’s car accident in college, and “the second time, it wasn’t an accident.” Pardon me, Lara? And then she just– poof, into thin air, gone. At least she left on a high note, I suppose.

I will admit, I faded toward the end of the episode, not because of a quality drop, but because I got a headache and backache and a case of the Sunday Scaries. BUT, what gave me LIFE– that #RiyaReunion. Ohhh my Godddd (yes, I just said that like Janice from Friends) it was everything I hoped it would be and more– cleared my skin, watered my crops... I might’ve shed a tear (maybe it’s allergy season, maybe it’s Rufus and Jiya). Now I’ll admit I’m a damn sucker for them, but isn’t everyone?

One last thing that stuck with me, amongst others, was when Rufus was walking down the hall in his PJs, with the flickering fluorescents. This experience is not going to go gently in that good night, it is not going to pass without its repercussions. As it shouldn’t. This is a big freakin’ deal. What they are doing, is a big freakin deal, and what we, as Clockblockers, have done is a big freakin deal. A big props to everyone who is still here and will continue to be here. Catch another episode of Timeless Season 3– coined by the masterful, ever impressive Hilary @qqueenofhades– next Sunday at 8pm EST, and another one of these reviews to follow shortly after! (If you want to come talk about the episode with me, you can find me on Tumblr @only-freakin-sunflowers. You can also find me on AO3,  @only_freakin_donuts!)

(One actual LAST thing I have to mention because somehow I never found space for it in my ramble… Flynn reading Harry Potter to his daughter?! COMING FOR MY HEART.)

#timeless #timeless s3 #3x01 #episode recap