#sorry. you kind of opened a can of worms with this message i just think about this A Lot

[reiderwriter]

♦️There Are No Words Left to Speak ♦️

Chapter 5 of That's What You Get

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Pairing: Spencer Reid X Fem Reader

Summary: In a panic, you spill your guts to Penelope and receive some much needed advice before your "date" with Reid.

Warnings: None!!

A/N: This one is 4k words long because I absolutely could not help myself 😭 I've has a lot of messages and asks about this series lately, and it's been really encouraging to see! If you like this chapter, please comment or reblog and let me know or come chat with me in my inbox! Happy Reading!!

You can find my masterlist here and the series masterlist here.

"Penelope, I fucked up and I need your advice," you screamed into the room as soon as the door slammed open, startling the other woman as she threw her phone up in surprise. 

"Jesus, Y/N, you're lucky I didn't reach for the all too full can of pepper spray I store in here, oh my god."

"I'm sorry, Pen, I'm just, I'm kinda freaking out, and I need your help."

"Are we going to need wine, or are we going to need ice cream and a chick flick? What kind of problem are we talking here?" she asked from her place at the desk. 

"I married Spencer in Vegas." You said and then clamped your hand over your mouth as you finally let the pressure of the weekends mess seep out of you now that you'd shared your secret. 

"Oh my god, both, we'll do both. We need both, let's go, let's go now."

–X– 

Penelope drove the two of you home, immediately moving into a mothering role as soon as the words left your mouth, and she could see your impending implosion. You were grateful that she didn’t ask you any further questions as you made your way back to her apartment, just turning on the radio to a channel playing 90s pop hits and simply letting you calm down through the fun music. 

When you finally got through her door, she let you get comfortable and then immediately came back with all the things she promised. 

“Okay, I know you’re more a rose girl, but all I have is this really nice white that Derek got me for my last birthday and half a bottle of tequila, and I think it’s better for the both of us if we don’t open the tequila. Also, I have chocolate, cookie dough ice cream, and tissues, and When Harry Met Sally on DVD, I'm ready to be plugged in and played as soon as you say the word.” 

“Penelope, we do not tell you how brilliant you are as often as we should.” 

“While that is true, I’m trying my best not to immediately cave and ask you to spill, so can we please sing my praises after you explain what you mean by saying you married Spencer.” 

“God, Penelope, I don’t know what happened,” you let your head hang in your hands and she immediately moved to sit closer to you, rubbing a hand over your back and getting the tissues ready. 

“We went out drinking, and my mom got in my head earlier in that call I took, and I don’t remember anything and then I woke up and we were in bed together and-” you rambled out, lifting your head up as you tried to explain, but she cut you off quickly there.

“You were in bed together? Did you… you know, bump uglies with Spencer? Do the old in n’ out? Sorry, I’m making this worse, I’ll shut up now,” she said, but you laughed at her enthusiasm, and you felt more of the weekend’s tension leave your body. You knew that you had made the right decision coming to Penelope with this. She always knew how to make you feel better. 

“I don’t know, but it looks like it. TMI but-”

“Hold on, I don’t think I want to know what the Good Doctor is like in bed.” She visibly shuddered, and you let out another shaky laugh. 

“Well considering I remember none of it, you’d be hard pressed to get those details from me. I did wake up handcuffed to the bed, though.” 

“Shut the front door, no you did not!” Penelope’s jaw dropped. “Oh god, I’m almost morbidly curious, but I don’t want to open that can of worms. Sorry, please continue.” 

You took a swig of the wine she poured you and relaxed a bit further into her couch, pulling your legs up under you to find a more comfortable position as you told the rest of your story to Penelope, gaining more confidence with each of her reactions to what you told her. 

“So, now we just need to track down our two witnesses and get the marriage quietly annulled, and we can forget it ever happened.” You could hear the frown in your voice before you realised you were making that kind of expression, and from Penelope’s reaction, you could see that she’d noticed too. 

“Oh.. oh, I know that look. You don’t want the annulment, do you?” 

“Yes! I mean, no! Look, I really don’t know how to answer that right now, it’s just…” you trailed off, and Penelope silently filled your wine glass again, not saying anything and letting you come around at your own pace. 

“Earlier today, after we told Rossi, and before I came running to you, he… he kissed my forehead, and he called me Mrs. Reid, and I really liked it. And I didn’t think about it before, but Reid is nice, and he is good, and he is obviously really smart, and, god  he’d be a great dad, and he took care of me yesterday and today… Penelope, I think I have a crush on my husband.” You gasped out, feeling the weight of your revelation as it hit you straight in the gut. 

“But we talked about it and we’re getting an annulment and now it’s like I fucked up before I really got the chance to let it go anywhere, and what if it’s a mistake? What if I made the world’s greatest fuck up and married a great man in Vegas and then threw it all away a week later?” you raked your hand through your hair quickly, trying to ignore the tears forming quickly in your eyes. 

“Oh my god, sweetie, it’s going to be okay… You’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that it’s going to be okay…” she patted you on the back and you let the tears fall down a bit, quickly dabbing them away with the now balled up tissue in your hand. 

“I don’t know if I can, Pen…” you tried to smile up at her, but you could feel your lips wobbling and you let your head hang again before you could let out a choked sob. 

“No, nonononoonono, listen to me… Okay, promise you won’t hate me after I say this?” She said, squishing your cheeks between her hands as she made you look up into her eyes. 

“I pwomise,” you sniffed out, voice muffled by her strong grip. She let you go then, content that she had your attention. 

“I know for a fact that the boy is as infatuated with you as you are with him because… because I saw you two.” She stopped there to watch your reaction, but you froze, so she continued.

“You… you called me from wherever you guys were out in Vegas, mumbled some words over the phone and then sent me a picture of a brochure with an address on it, and then when I turned up it was a wedding chapel and you were getting married.” She winced out those last words, and you gasped at the confession. 

“You were one of the witnesses! Penelope!” You pointed an accusatory finger at her, but it was half-hearted. You knew that you were stubborn enough while sober. You certainly wouldn’t have been persuaded out of something you obviously wanted while blackout drunk. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, but you guys were just too cute! He was giving you all these small kisses on your forehead and on your cheeks, and you looked like innocent kids giddy and high on love, and I didn’t want to bring you back down to earth. You looked so happy, and I do not make it a habit to get in the way of my friends’ happiness.” 

“Penelope, why didn’t you say anything?” You groan out, sounding a bit like a petulant teenager who has just discovered her mom threw out a shirt she hadn’t worn in years. 

“I wanted to, but I was told not to…” she winced away. “And before you ask, I won’t tell you who else was there! Just know it was someone else who also loves both of you and would’ve pulled you two out of there. No questions asked if they thought you were making a stupid decision!” 

You let the revelations sink in, one by one. Penelope was there. Reid couldn’t keep his lips off of you. The other witness thought you two were good together. It almost didn’t surprise you when you started giggling, finding humour in the situation at least. 

“Oh my god, Penelope, I got married in Vegas to my coworker. And I think I’m in love with him now.” You were in a fit of giggles now, and Penelope hesitantly joined in at first. 

“Yeah, I suppose it is funny when you put it that way.” 

“God, what am I going to do? How am I going to face him from now on?” You pulled yourself together again and faced Penelope again, hoping that she would have actual answers for your very rhetorical question. 

“Well, at least we have a couple of days off now. You don’t have to see him again until we go to work.” 

“No, we have a date tomorrow,” you said matter-of-factly. “Appointment, really, he’s reading some books on alcohol induced memory loss tonight, and then I’m going over to his place to see if any of it can help us fill in the blanks.” 

“Oh god, you’re going to talk books with Reid. That’s practically as romantic as it gets for him. No wonder he wifed you up.” You playfully kicked her leg, and she laughed again. “Okay, so no avoidance, okay. Maybe you could put the moves on him? Try to recreate that scene with the handcuffs. Who knows what might happen.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you then, and you did your best not to once again be overcome by a fit of giggles.

“Okay, enough of my romantic problems. I was promised When Harry Met Sally and that ice cream has probably melted, so let’s get to it.” 

–X–

You braced yourself at the apartment door as you psyched yourself up to knock. As promised, you’d been greeted in the morning by a text from Spencer with his address and a proposed time to meet. He’d suggested 5pm, and you’d agreed, but here you were 20 minutes early, probably looking overdressed and over eager to spend time with your coworker/ husband/ soon to be former husband, maybe. 

You’d left Penelope’s apartment that morning, having had an impromptu sleepover, happy that you’d at least confirmed your own feelings. You’d taken a taxi to collect your car, then spent the rest of your time at home overthinking and overpreparing. 

You’d put on a dress and some make-up, and you were almost regretting the decision now you were on his doorstep, wondering what he’d think. You worked one of the toughest jobs in the world together, and you knew that he’d seen you completely black and blue after going blow for blow with unsubs in the past. Would he think this sudden effort was weird? You tried not to pace, knowing that your footsteps in the hall would alert him to your presence, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock just yet. 

You checked your phone again. 4:45. You couldn’t spend another fifteen minutes out here overthinking, so you finally just pushed ahead and knocked. Almost as if he had been waiting on the other side of the door this entire time, Reid answered immediately, not even letting you get a third rap in before he was there standing in front of you. 

“Hi,” you said, standing there awkwardly with your hand still up, ready to knock again. 

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you. 

You felt his eyes trail down your body, taking in your appearance. The dress you’d chosen wasn’t particularly special, just a mid-length tiered dress with bow straps. The weather was getting chillier so you’d layered it over a plain turtleneck, enjoying the added bonus of not having to conceal down your neck to mask the love bites he’d lavished upon you only a few nights prior. 

You looked at him as well, and you were pleasantly surprised by his casual wear. He was more dressed down than he was in the office, but not by much. He was still wearing slacks, and a button down shirt as well, but he’d thrown a beaten up CalTech sweater over the top of them, and he looked so cosy you wanted to bury your head in his chest. He was wearing his glasses, and you were so thankful for that, as you forgot how well they suited him, fitting him perfectly. 

“You’re early.” He said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you, drawing you out of the trance he’d kept you in while you took in the sight of him. 

“Yeah, I guess I just overestimated how long it was going to take to get here. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s great, totally fine. Come in.” He moved his body to the side slightly so you could enter the door, but kept his outer arm pressed against the door so you had to duck under it, brushing past him as you went. The small contact made your entire body buzz, your heartrate picking up as you willed yourself to act natural. 

“The food should be here any minute.” He smiled as he followed you back into his apartment. “I wanted it to arrive before you got here so I could surprise you.” You turned around to face him, and you could hear the bashfulness in his voice as he made the admission. 

“Sorry for ruining the surprise,” you smiled up at him. “What did you order?” 

“I remembered you mentioned that Korean streetfood place a while back that does those spicy rice cakes and kimbap rolls, so I got us some of that. Is that okay?” 

“Sounds perfect.” You were touched that he even remembered the conversation when you yourself couldn’t even think of when it might have happened. He turned and walked further into the apartment, and you followed him this time, finally looking around and taking it all in. 

The walls were obviously lined with bookshelves, and there were books laying around in piles everywhere. The walls were painted a dark colour, which made the space feel calming, almost more intimate, and sunlight was streaming in from the open window on the back wall. 

“Sorry, it’s not much. Take a seat wherever, and I’ll grab those books I was talking about.” 

You took a seat on the couch and watched him trail around the room, picking up books from several shelves and stacks. 

“Okay, this is all of them. So the main takeaway is that it usually takes two weeks to fully recover memories from alcohol induced blackouts.” He explained, bringing you a stack at least eight books high. 

“Spencer, did you read all of these last night?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I said I would, I thought it would help.” 

“Spencer,” you took his hand into yours as he set the books on the floor and flopped down to the couch beside you. “I really appreciate you putting in all this effort to help us, but you could’ve just come home and relaxed, you know. Our case was long and tough, and now all of this, you deserve a break.” You stroked your thumb over the back of his hand, trying to make the gesture calm and reassuring. 

“I know, I wanted to do this. I want to remember what happened between us,” he whispered the words softly, not needing to fill the space with much sound as you’d crept closer and closer together since he’d returned. 

“So, uh, two weeks then, is that it, we just have to wait for the memories to return?” you asked quietly, letting go of the small moment you’d shared to get back to the task at hand. 

“It seemed so, but there are some other more general tips we could implement that could help us piece together what happened. We might at least be able to figure out who our witnesses were.” 

You felt almost guilty then, but you kept your mouth shut. You’d decided the night before that you wouldn’t tell Reid about Penelope. At least not yet. You wanted the time first to see if he could possibly feel the same way about you before you worked up the courage to let him in on what you had learnt. 

“Yeah, I’m open to try anything. Within reason, that is.” 

“Great! I was thinking at first that maybe we could do a cognitive interview, but as we only have each other to work with, I thought that might make some of our answers more biased and not garner effective results. But we could still try to jog our memories by working out some of the same emotions, doing some things we could have done that night, and seeing if any of it rings a bell?” 

“Some of the things we did that night?” 

“Yeah,” he repled. 

“Like… like make out or get handcuffed to a bed?” You enjoyed watching the flush creep up his neck, and his eyes go wide as he struggled to backtrack on that one. 

“No, no! I mean, unless you want to, or you think it would help?” It was your turn to be left speechless, your mouth suddenly not complying with your brain as you begged yourself to respond somehow. All you could muster was a glance down at his lips that lingered a bit too long, your body slowly creeping forward. 

He noticed and moved closer towards you as well, letting his hand grasp your waist as you got caught in his atmosphere. 

“It’s worth a try, right? To regain our memories.” He supplied you with the words, letting you stay silent as your lips grew closer and closer together, seconds away from taking your breath away forever. 

A loud rap at the door and a shout of “delivery” had the two of you suddenly bouncing away from each other, Reid scrambling to the door to collect the food, while you stood up awkwardly and tried to pretend there was something really interesting on his bookshelf that had caught your attention all of a sudden. 

For the Nth time in so many days, you found yourself trying to convince your heart to beat a little quieter, and you managed to get yourself under control as he returned with the food.

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time…” he trailed off as you nodded, joining him back at the couch as he began unpacking the food. 

“It’s totally fine, we should eat anyways, trust me when I say this stuff doesn’t taste even half as good cold.” You smiled at him, but it didn’t go quite to your eyes. You really wanted to kiss him, and you were really doing your best to control your disappointment, not wanting to show off how desperate for him you were. 

“Well, you’re in luck, because you now get to witness one of my only flaws,” he said, fishing out two sets of chopsticks from the delivery bag. “I am absolutely terrible with chopsticks.” 

You giggled at him and grabbed the pair he offered you, letting out a dramatic fake gasp. “And you only tell me after we get married? That’s it, I want a divorce,” you laugh, and the two of you settle down into a comfortable silence as you begin your meal. 

–X– 

Two hours later, and you’re still no closer to locking lips with the man than you were earlier. You’d had a nice time talking with him over the food, both of you sitting like kids on the floor as you ate over his coffee table. He’d told you about a Korean film festival he’d attended a few years back, one of many international film festivals he’d been to, and you sat and listened, in awe of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something that excited him. You hoped that one day, he’d talk about you in that same way. 

You helped him clean up and settled back onto the couch, where he’d mentioned having a copy of one of the films that had since been subtitled, and you ended up in another movie marathon.

The movie was good, but his presence next to you was even better. He’d stretched out his arms on the couch behind you, letting you snuggle up into his side as you pulled your legs up and under you, screwing yourself up in a comfortable little ball, burrowing into him for warmth. He was a fire beside you, and you wished you were bold enough to push further into him, to drag your hands across his skin and feel even more of him, continuing the exploration from earlier. But you weren’t, and, honestly, you were tired, so you let yourself sit peacefully beside him, touching but not much, as you were lulled to sleep by the sounds of the TV. 

It was pitch black outside when you finally cracked your eyes open again, but he was still there next to you on the couch. The movie had been turned off, and so had the TV, and there was a blanket now wrapped around your legs, so he had obviously moved, but he had also come back to you. You shifted your head up to look at him and smiled. He’d picked up another book from who knows what shelf and was reading slowly so as not to wake you with the movements of his hand as he traced down the page. Your head had moved from his chest to his lap, and he held the book off to the side in one hand, his other resting protectively over your waist. He was so engrossed by his book that he hadn’t even realised you’d moved and that you were awake until you spoke to him. 

“Spencer? What time is it?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep. 

“It’s 11:30. You fell asleep during the movie and you looked like you could use the sleep.” 

“Wow, what a way to tell a girl she doesn’t look so good,” you laughed at him as he pouted down at you. 

“I didn’t mean that. Y/N, you look beautiful today. You look beautiful everyday.” 

You lifted yourself up from his lap, one hand braced on either side of his legs on the couch as you bought yourself eye-to-eye with him, your chests close enough to touch if you took a big breath in. Instead, yours were shallow as you looked up at him through heavy eyes. 

“Thank you, Spencer.” You whispered, silently begging him to close the space between the two of you. But he didn’t, instead, clearing his throat and putting his book down, breaking your eye contact. 

“I should be getting home now. It’s pretty late.” You said, standing up from the couch. He followed you up and around as you started collecting your things and organising the space you’d occupied. 

“Y/N it’s late, and you’re tired. I can’t let you drive home like that. An estimated 30% of road accidents occur due to sleep deficiency, you know.” 

“It’s fine, I don’t want to get a taxi and just leave my car here and then have to come back in the morning. I’ll be fine driving,” you said, but he softly took the keys out of your hands as you grabbed them from your bag. 

“Stay here tonight.” He said, less of a suggestion than an already established fact. You looked up at him and knew there was no changing his mind, but he continued anyway. 

“I have a spare toothbrush and some old clothes you can probably use as pajamas, and it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. Maybe…maybe waking up next to each other again will help jog our memories, too. We only have until the end of the week, right?” 

He looked at you expectantly, and you let out a little sigh and nodded your head, letting him guide you away to the bedroom and back into sleeping in his arms. 

--×--

🏷 @w-windy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @daddy-dotcom @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @ferrjulie @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @ghostheartbeat @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @wakaladjarin @ratbastardchild @mcira @danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @its-not-too-late-for-coffee @doriantomybasil @shqwqrma @shits8gigs

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid series #that's what you get

[wonwooslibrary]

svt as boyfriends ♡ chan edition

member: lee chan (dino) x gn! reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, bullet points

word count: 714

summary: channie's boyfriend things <333

warnings: mentions of menstrual cycles & insulting in a loving way

author's note: hello! normally this is where i would be oops i'm getting back into writing but i'll be completely honest this time and say that i am completely falling out of love with it and i genuinely haven't opened a wip in so damn long. if i wasn't so far into this series, I definitely would not have finished it....i want to write more but it just might take me a while to find my love for it once again...thanks for still reading though <3 sorry this is so late, and I hope you enjoy reading!!!

Socially stupid bf <3 

If anyone sees you, they will always know that Chan is close behind 

Is so madly in love with you and doesn’t know how to live without you

Quality Time 

Loves taking you anywhere he goes, including dance practices or shopping 

Dinner dates are his thing - he’ll pull off the roses and candles and everything 

Constant texts when you can’t be together because of work or visiting family 

Such as hey i managed to find that sock that went missing in the laundry last week !! or how long do i put 12 pizza rolls in the microwave for 

Loves just being with you when you take part in your hobbies, even if he doesn’t particularly enjoy them himself 

Gets worried that you’ll get angry with him because he’s always with you and knows that you need your alone time once in a while 

Words of Affirmation

Compliments you through jokes or insults type of boyfriend 

You’re all like “I love you,” and he’s like, “You wouldn’t if I was a worm though :(“ and then you roll your eyes because come on, how could someone not love Lee Chan

Always apologizes for things he doesn’t need to apologize for because he doesn’t want to upset you :((( 

I don’t think Chan would be a big fan of pet names, to be honest, but if he was, I think they would just be versions of your name :3 

Melts into a puddle when you compliment him because !!! you are complimenting him !!!! 

Basically he can dish out all the compliments, but the minute you try saying them back, he turns into a literal tomato because he’s embarrassed but also so madly in love 

Physical Touch

I think he is secretly one of the biggest cuddle bugs in svt and nobody can change my mind

When he laughs, he always manages to fall into you some way, whether that be resting his head on your shoulder or crumpling into you

Loves holding hands (especially in public) but not in a possessive way, more of a I constantly want to be around you kind of way 

And of course you love it because it’s Lee Chan and you love everything about him 

On the other hand, there are definitely days that he doesn’t feel confident in himself or that he deserves the love you give him :((( 

You know on those days that you need to show your affection and make the first moves yourself,,,he likes loving you, but sometimes he just needs to be shown that he can be loved too

Acts of Service 

I’m not going to lie, I struggled a bit with this category, because I feel it’s easier for Chan to say things rather than show it

He’s just not sure whether him making tea for you says “i love you” or “sup bro” and wants to make sure he gets the right message across 

Because of this, your relationship took a while to form because both of you cannot take a hint and were so convinced you didn’t like each other 

Absolutely loves helping you with literally everything: doing chores, studying, getting ready in the morning, as long as you are there with him, he doesn’t care and will do anything 

He doesn’t realize that what he does shows how much he loves you, he just thinks its normal to help you, and vice versa 

Sometimes you protest against his help but he’s just a BOY WHO IS IN LOVE let him do what he wants :( 

Gift Giving 

A huuuge fan of gift giving 

Will buy anything that you could ever want or need

Stuffed animals and snacks galore !!!! 

If you have menstrual cycles, he would totally be the type of boyfriend to go to the store and buy whatever products you need and surprise you with a bunch of snacks and treats throughout the week 

You of course also spoil him to the best of your ability and he loves it, but also always feels bad when you spend money on him in any way

Loves matching and customizable gifts !!! He likes to give you things that can make you laugh and remember a specific moment with him because he thinks it’s cute (and you think it’s sappy and adorable)

#kdiarynet #kbookshelf #seventeen fanfic #svt fluff #svt #svt fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen kpop #seventeen #lee chan #seventeen lee chan #lee dino #dino #dino x reader #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen dino #svt dino #svt lee chan #seventeen imagines

[noowayybroo]

I saw you wanted to write something about this and ykw I’d love to see it!! Could you write some headcanons (or whatever your comfy w) abt calling leon/showing up late at his house after you got into a bad fight w ur abusive bf? Im thinking mainly he comforts you nd then deals w the bf later

TY FOR UR ASK AND IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!! ok sooooo it's not like a full fic but it's a teeny bit more than a hc. I won't focus sm on the bf because I think it's a traumatic thing you know and people who might use this to cope might find it harder to relate or they might just be reminded of their issues so I'll keep it quite vague if it's ok with you. This is very vague so I think it's any Leon in mind! Enjoy!

Characters: GN!BestFriend!Leon x GN!Reader (Mentions of Reader's abusive partner)

Warnings: SFW BUT NOT A HAPPY FIC - Hurt / comfort. Mentions of abusive and just overall shitty partners. Mentions of Crying. One mention of being drunk. Mentions of abuse and victim self-blaming (the relationship really messed you up, sorry) Use of Y/N

Another horrible date ends with you storming out of what's meant to be your favourite restaurant, blaming yourself for everything you'll never be responsible for.

Your partner has a way of doing that: making you think it's you who's in the wrong, regardless of the fact that they were the one who was late and they were the one who wouldn't get off their phone and pay you back the attention you give them every day.

Again you'd been let down, and you stumble home in the rain, alone, because your excuse of a partner was staying behind to finish their meal. Your clothes are as drenched as your soul, heavy rain just about heard over pitiful sobs. You're in a world of your own, narrowly avoiding a trip or fall with each step, eyes too squinted to see more than a blur.

You're crying so hard you almost don't hear your phone buzz in your pocket.

It'll be that bastard, you think to yourself as rage seeps into your bubble of despair. What could they want now?

You've half the mind to ignore it. They're not used to you not answering instantly. They know they have you wrapped around their finger. Maybe they'll think something happened to you. And it'll be their fault.

Great.

..But then again, you don't really want that, do you? You're a good person. They've wormed their way into your head so well that you begin to feel guilty. You have to at least check... Maybe they're sorry-

Begrudgingly, almost ready to snap the phone in two the second you see that dreaded name, you pull it out to check. You're so numb you barely mind how the rain soaks the expensive screen in mere seconds. All you can bother to do is haphazardly wipe the screen across your clothing once before swiping your notifications down.

Between the gathering droplets, the message is, of course, not from your dickhead "soulmate" because really, they don't care about you. It's from Leon, your friend. And for a second, a smile almost comes to your lips. You slow down your pace and read the message, not noticing how your tears are already much less frequent. Leon's always been a sweetie. He's always there for you, and when he says he's got your back, oh boy do you believe it.

Leon never asks anything from you, he just loves you unconditionally... and you're sure it's just as platonic as you'd like it to be. He knows you care about him too, and he'd never give you any less than you give him. It must have been some kind of divine intervention that called upon him to message you now during one of your lowest moments. Or-

PLEASE don't tell me that was YOU crying outside just now.

Your jaw falls open in shock and your feet come to a still. You'd been steaming ahead on pure misery. You were on Leon's street already? Looking around confirms your suspicions as you wipe your screen again, shakily replying as tears continue to stain your cheeks. But before you can hit send, another message comes in:

THAT IS YOU OMG. Why the yelling?! Drunk again??

Just as you can finish typing out "Yeh, it was me, I'm going homes sorryyy", Leon comes bounding after you in the rain. He slows down as he gets to you, circling around to get a look at your face before draping his coat over your shoulders. He's smiling initially, glad to see you, but when his eyes meet your red, puffy ones, his face falls. His shoes are loose. One of his heels not even properly inside. He's wet from the rain, not even wearing a coat for himself. That's how quickly he left for you.

"Y-y/n..." His voice is small, dreading as he gently holds your shoulders, ducking to look into your downturned eyes "What happened?" Before you can even answer, his arms are around you, redirecting you towards his house and out of the rain. He practically pulls you along, trying to get you to shelter like a lifeguard escorting someone from the depths. You have no time to tell him anything before he's yanking you into his home.

Despite how wet and filthy you are from the hammering rain and muddy puddles, Leon barely lets you take any outside gear off. He leads you to his living-room - the sight both familiar and warming. You'd both shared many good memories here even though you hadn't been round many times. If Leon knew anything, it was how to take care of you and make you laugh. And that's why, no questions asked, he's covering you in blankets, holding you close and cooing gently about how you don't have to tell him what happened but that-

"If you want to tell me anything, I don't care what it is or how much there is, I'll listen."

After a while, you're able to come down from your panic. You're able to open up and tell Leon what happened this time. You can practically see his fists ball as he grips the blanket, pretending to only do so to pick it up and wrap it more tightly around you. He avoids eye contact. At times, it feels as though the news of your neglect affects Leon much worse than it does you.

He swallows thickly as you continue, and only when your voice cracks a little and you become teary once more does his gaze snap to you. He places a gentle hand on your cheek and once more ducks his head so he can be the one looking up at you. He respects the reason for your shy and defeated posture, not wanting to look up at him. He wouldn't have you go out of your way just to suit him. He's practically cuddled up to you, hands gently kneading you wherever it comforts you most through your blanket prison.

His eyes scream empathy and sorrow for your situation. The grimace of a scowl on his face tells you he's thinking about something, but you're not sure what. Maybe he's had a bad day. Maybe you're burdening him.

Here comes the guilt train again.

Your words falter and then you shake your head, sighing sadly. At least your tears are dry now.

"It's really nothing" You tell him, capping off a list of about a month's abuse and neglect since you'd last seen Leon. He shakes his head, almost offended.

"It's not nothing, Y/N, it's everything." His voice switches from a growl to a whisper after he catches himself on the first few words. He goes back to gently holding and petting you, sighing as he thinks very carefully about his next words. "You're a wonderful person. You're a good friend. I know you're the perfect soulmate too..." his face goes a little red. It seems he didn't think carefully enough about those words. "That sounded a little weird but what I mean is you can do better. Much better."

'Nails on a chalkboard' couldn't even come close to describing how Leon felt whenever you'd speak about how your partner treated you. For months now, it felt like within a few words, just describing your morning or text chat with the prick sent Leon to his own circle of hell.

It was tormentuous. Of course, it wasn't you. It could never be you. You were Leon's best friend. Hearing you open up to him was bitter sweet. He was grateful you were able to, but seeing you being weighed down and trodden over like this, it hurt him. You needed to leave that person, and so, Leon needed you to leave them.

He'd never told you really how he'd felt about that particular detail. He never wanted to be the bad guy, or to tell you what to do, in case it might draw you closer to your partner. Today, though, he couldn't take it any more. He wouldn't watch you suffer. Leon was going to do something about it, even if you didn't. Heck, he'd do it, even if you did first.

"You give this person everything. All your time, all your love, and I don't mean to rub it in at all, but to be honest... I want you to leave them. For yourself. You're strong and you might not need it, which is why you keep letting them do this, but you deserve someone who cares about you. Who wants you." He's looking into your eyes again, pleading for you to understand. He's begging you to just listen, just this once. Otherwise, you both know he'd let you walk all over him.

Truth be told, it didn't actually surprise you that Leon wanted you to leave your partner. You'd be lying if you'd said the realisation didn't gnaw away at you each time you looked into those eyes of his. You wanted to make Leon happy, and, contrary to his fears, you knew he was right. You'd take his side over any of your partners in a heartbeat, probably. You wanted to leave your partner, especially now those sobering words of Leon's had hit you. It was a rallying cry to stand up for yourself, and you so badly wanted to do it, but...

"It's hard." You whimper, shying away, hiding your face from Leon. Unlike your partner, he doesn't become enraged at your refusal, he doesn't lean in to catch your gaze or force you to look at him. He just stays quit for a bit before gently hushing you.

"I know, I know" He hums, barely audible - his words are so soft and quiet, fanning you. "I know it's hard." There's heavy truth to his words. Leon has always understood you, and he's been through so much, you know you're preaching to a harrowed choir.

"We've been together for months... I've never had anyone like that before. I can't just..."

"It's okay to be alone, you know?" Leon asks softly "I know that might be worrying you too... Not finding someone? But I promise you... I'll never lie about how lovely you are. Hell if you just turned around you'd see a line of people waitin'." There's a desperate tone to his voice. He needs you to believe him. But it also kinda sounds like there IS a line of people swarming his home. It makes you giggle, and that makes him chuckle.

"You know I'm being honest, right? I mean I might even-" He cuts himself off quickly and looks away. There's a small silence before he looks back at you, gently wiping calloused thumbs over your cheeks, brushing away any remaining moisture. Then, he sighs deeply "Listen, I know it's hard, but you're better off alone than with... with them, alright?"

It's hard to accept defeat but you nod weakly. You sit there together in silence for a while. Mulling everything over. Leon's right. You have to get out of there. And then it hits you. What if your partner doesn't just... let you go...

"But what if they-"

"I won't let them." his voice is firm, knowing exactly what you were going to say. He seems to have been thinking the exact same thing, and looking over, you notice he has that thinking look again, fists gripping your sides gently, protectively. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you, okay? We get you out, and we get you out in one piece." He looks into your eyes, this time, determined. His stare captures yours. You can't look away. You know what he's silently demanding, and you can't bring yourself to say no.

Weakly, you nod. "I want... I don't want to be with them anymore."

Leon lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and then seems to have a sort of 'eureka moment', but decides not to celebrate just yet. "That's great, Y/N. I'm... I'm happy for you." He gently rubs your shoulders a few times before getting up "How about I get takeout, yeah? This causes for celebration" He shoots you a playful smirk as he rushes to the kitchen to retrieve about 5 different menus which he then throws to you.

By the time you've escaped the four blankets he coated you with and decided what you'd like, he's got his shoes on and is ready to go. You get to your feet but are knocked back by a disarmingly playful glare. He chuckles as you fall back into the couch, defeated. "You're not going anywhere, buddy. I'm gonna get you some food, and when I get back, we'll sort things out. Okay? Just trust me, please." His look is soft. You feel completely cared for. And so, accepting his offer, you allow Leon to go on his way.

A while passes as you scroll through the shows on Leon's TV, all boring you. You'd rather be bored, though, than reading whatever abusive messages your soon to be ex had been piling up for you. You're exhausted. Curling up on the couch, you wait for Leon to get back. You feel so comfortable, and so soothed, and it's all thanks to him.

Leon was fortunate to find you asleep by the time he got back to his house. It gave him time to get changed into something more comfortable. It gave him time to clean his knuckles, and to remove any unsavoury messages that had accumulated on your phone (best friend password perks.) And by the time you woke up to the smell of your favourite food, it was still warm. He'd already plated it up for you, and you enjoyed it with your favourite choice of film. (Leon would NOT have it any other way.)

For a while, Leon's magic had drawn you from your problems, and it was only when you were drifting off for the second time that night that you even thought to check your phone. You were ready to do it. You were ready to leave that relationship behind. There was only one unread message, not a barrage of abuse, as you'd imagined.

Y/N. I understand that I've treated you poorly and for that I'm very sorry. You never deserved any of it. I hope you can forgive me, and I know you want out, so I think it's best for us both if we went our separate ways. I'll drop your things off at your mate's house tomorrow. I won't message you again.

That was strange, but it was welcome. And unbeknownst to you, you weren't the only one having the most peaceful sleep in a long time that night. Leon slept better than he'd done in months, maybe even years, and your ex, well. Your ex slept.

Thank you for reading this uhm it's kinda sussy we have no idea what happened to the ex ooo spookyyy!! imo Leon just beat them up haha Idk. Again I'm sorry this took so long! It was actually much more emotional and special for me to write haha so I hope someone out there likes it. Especially you, anon, if you're still around! Thank you! Thank you all for being here I love you all like crazy. If Leon teaches you anything here I hope it's that you're valid and important and that you matter, and not just to me!! To loads of people! Please believe in yourself and chase your dreams! Try and make time for your hobbies and aspirations! We're here to have fun and to live our lives!! Take some time out for yourself please, and remember you deserve love and respect and if people don't give it to you (when youve done nothing wrong) then maybe those people are smelly, and maybe you should surround yourself with a more positively fragrant variety of human. Love you!!!

#resident evil #re leon #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #re4 leon #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil leon #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #hurt/comfort #comfort #resident evil 6 #re4r #resident evil remake

[sentientgolfball]

Hello! Sorry to do this on anon 😅 I had a fic request!! I’ve been going through a really really rough time recently and all I’ve been needing is a Mountain/GN!Reader/Rain comfort fic with a reader with chronic pain 🥺 I appreciate you reading and, no matter what, thank you for your time!!

aw I am very sorry to hear that :(( I hope this can make you feel just a lil bit better <3

Enjoy some soft Mountain and Rain

My requests are open !

You crack open your eyes and immediately know what kind of day it’s going to be. You can feel the chill of the room on your face. You can hear the rain pouring down outside. You can feel the deep ache of your joints and you haven’t even moved yet. You thought maybe if you just laid in bed a little bit longer then the pain would go away, that you were just sore from sleeping in a weird position. When the pain persists you completely flipped your thinking, maybe you actually needed to get up and stretch. Yea that was definitely it. You sit up and quickly realize that was a mistake. It feels like there are a million tiny shards of glass trying to worm their way into your brain. 

You clutch your head and groan, screwing your eyes shut at the pain. You lay back down and bury your head under the pillows. You breathe deeply through your nose waiting for the pain to dull down. While you wait you do the only thing you can. You get upset. At everything. You curse the summer for dying away into autumn. You hate the feeling of the cold seeping deep within your body. You hate the rain for deciding to come now that the warm weather is over. You curse your body for reacting this way. You hate that you can’t enjoy the changing of the season because with every change in temperature comes days like these. Days where it’s too hard for you to move, to think, to just be able to function. 

A sharp throb pulses through your whole body and you whine realizing you definitely weren’t going to be able to work today. You blindly reach for your phone, not even bothering to remove your head from the pillows. You look at the screen when you grab it and it hurts. You quickly text the head librarian your situation and throw your phone back on your nightstand not even bothering to wait for a response. The longer you looked at the screen the more sick you felt. 

You laid like that for hours. You didn’t have the energy to even attempt to get up and do anything that might help with the ache. There were a couple times you tried to move when the ache seemed to die down, but doing so only made it flare right back up. So you stayed there with your head buried under pillows barely able to think. And then you heard your phone buzz. You ignored it the first time, but then it kept going off. You were starting to get annoyed at the noise. You reached up and grabbed it with the intent to put it on do not disturb. That was until you saw who was blowing up your phone. It was Rain. 

Did you stay up too late lol you weren’t here to greet me

Decided to skip work? Can’t blame you it’s nice outside

Are you alive?

…No seriously I’m worried are you ok? 

You wanted to reply but just as you tapped on the messages your head exploded in a thumping ache. You cursed and threw your phone day willing to settle just long enough to type a coherent sentence back to the water ghoul. You crack your eyes open when you feel your phone buzz again. 

I’m on my way. 

You slump back down and groan. You hated making him worry. You hated making any of the Siblings or ghouls worry. You wanted so badly to be able to just push all the pain away and get through your day with a smile. But the logical side of you screamed and begged to let them help you, let them worry and care for you. 

That side ended up winning when you heard a soft knock at your door. You mumbled a half hearted ‘come in’ and hissed when the light were turned on. 

“Shit sorry.” You heard Rain say before the lights were flicked off once more. 

You hear him walk over before the mattress dips with his added weight. You feel his hand start to rub firm but soothing circles into your back.

“Bad day?” 

“You have no idea.” 

“Have you eaten?”

You shake your head

“Drank?” 

You shake your head 

“Moved at all?” 

You shake your head 

He sighs and there's a moment of silence as he pulls out his phone and quickly types something. When he’s done he sits it on the nightstand next to yours before standing. He carefully removes the pillow from your head and peels the blankets off of you. He gently hooks his arms under you and picks you up with ease holding you close to him. He carries you to the bathroom and puts you down on the edge of the tub. He makes sure you're stable enough before pulling away and gently placing a kiss on your forehead. 

He quickly lights a few non-scented candles before gathering various soaps and other care products. He begins to fill the tub adding a few cups of bath salts to the water. You can already feel the heat coming off the water as Rain crouches in front of you. He slowly brings his hands to the bottom of your shirt and waits for your permission. You run a hand through his hair and nod. He smiles affectionately at you as he carefully undresses you and then himself. 

He dips into the tub first, settling back against the tile before gently pulling you in with him. You sigh heavily, feeling the hot water envelop you as you lean against Rain’s chest. You sit heavily against him putting all your weight on him as he begins to slowly massage your shoulders, working his way down your arms. You feel his tail squeeze around one of your legs and the pressure feels amazing. 

After a while of just sitting there, letting the water cradle you as Rain works his hands over every joint, he eventually scoops some water to pour over your hair. He gently runs his claws against your scalp when he’s satisfied before grabbing your favorite shampoo and lathering it into your hair. You hum in gratitude as he works his hands through, being sure to rub some gentle circles against your temples. When he’s finished he once again scoops some water into his hands to rinse the soap out. 

As he’s doing this you hear a knock on the bathroom door. 

“Right on time.” Rain says repositioning you so he can hop out of the bath. 

You watch bleary eyed as he wraps a towel around his waist and cracks open the door. He whispers something you can’t make out and nods his head with a slight smile. When he turns around after closing the door he has some clothes. One bundle is lounge wear you’ve seen the water ghoul wear hundreds of times, but the other is a massive sweatshirt and an extra pair of Rain’s sweatpants. Rain sets them down on the counter before walking over to the bath and hoisting you up. 

“Mountains waiting for us” he whispers and presses a kiss to your cheek “he brought something special for you.” 

You allow Rain to dry you off before you get dressed in the clothes brought for you. Moutain’s sweater and Rain’s sweatpants. When you’re ready he takes your hand and walks with you back to your bedroom. You’re greeted to the sight of Mounatin sitting on your bed smiling softly. There’s a tray on your nightstand with three mugs, steam rolling off of them. You can smell the herbaceous scent from where you stand. You notice there’s an added blanket on your bed and you nearly cry when you realize it’s heated. 

You practically slump against the earth ghoul who carefully pulls you against him as he leans back and against the headboard. He pulls the blanket over you as Rain hands you and Mountain your respective mugs. He takes his own before walking around to the other side of the bed to get under the covers. He slides in right next to Mountain who pulls him closer to you two, wrapping a massive arm around his shoulders. 

You take a sip of the tea and practically moan at the taste. Mountain chuckles and takes a sip from his own mug. 

“Like it? It’s a new blend I’m testing. Rain said it helped him so I thought you’d want some.” 

“It’s perfect Mounty.” You hum taking another long drink. 

When you finish Mountain takes the empty mug from you and lays off to the side. He holds you close to him letting the pressure of his arms wrap around you. The combination of the tea, the heated blanket, and two ghouls happily purring away make your eyes feel heavy. 

“Tired?” Rain says snuggling in closer, giving you a few soft kisses before nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. 

You nod, pulling Mountain’s arm tighter around you, resting your head on his chest. He kisses the top of your head. 

“Go to sleep, wildflower. Rain and I will stay as long as you need us.” 

You and mutter an incoherent form of ‘thank you’ before closing your eyes. The two ghouls laugh and twine their tails together, resting them on top of you. 

“Sleep well.”

“We’ll be right here whenever you need us.” 

#the band ghost #ghost bc #nameless ghouls #i hope you like it anon <3 #rain x reader #mountain ghoul #mountain x reader #nameless ghoul x reader #rain ghoul #golfball writes

[babygirl-diaz]

My Emotions Are Naked (Buddie Fanfic)

Summary:

Eddie doesn't know how long he has had feelings for Buck. But when he meets a guy named Alex and starts dating him, he figures that maybe he is over Buck, but it's never that easy, is it?

Chapter 1

It was the 16th of June, exactly 6 months and 21 days after they started dating that Marisol broke things off with Eddie. And 6 months and 21 days later, Eddie felt like he could finally breathe. Marisol was beautiful, kind, smart, and most importantly had the seal of approval from his Abuela, and that’s why Eddie stayed with her, even though he knew that they just weren’t meant to be. It was also around that time when he realized that he may have feelings for someone else. But he wasn’t ready to open that can of worms yet. Marisol wasn’t mad when she broke things off with Eddie. If anything, admitted that she always knew there was someone else. In the end, she gave him a hug and a gentle kiss on the cheek, followed by, “I hope you and Vanessa are happy together,” before heading out, leaving Eddie very confused. Vanessa. Right. Marisol thought Eddie was in love with Vanessa. 

“She what?” Vanessa laughed that loud, obnoxious laugh of hers when Eddie called her after dropping Chris off at school. Chris understood or at least he tried to understand why Marisol broke things off with Eddie. He was sympathetic. He gave him a look that said he wanted to say more, but instead, he shook his head, said his goodbye, and headed to class. 

 “She- she thinks you’re in love with me?”  Vanessa just couldn’t stop laughing and, frankly, it was pissing Eddie off a little. 

“Vanessa-” Eddie said as a warning. 

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just hilarious to me that Marisol thinks you’re in love with me,” Vanessa replied. “I mean, she was with you for 6 months and she couldn’t see that you’re so hopelessly in love with-” 

“Don’t” Eddie quickly cut her off. “Please don’t.” 

“Okay.” Vanessa finally got serious. “Eddie, you do know that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that-” 

“‘Ness I’d rather not talk about it,” Eddie told her. 

“Then why did you call me, Eddie? If you weren’t ready for some cold hard facts?” Vanessa asked. 

“I called because you’re my friend and I needed someone to talk to,” Eddie replied. 

“Well, if you needed someone to coddle you then you should have just gone to Buck,” Vanessa told him. “I’m not here to do that for you.” 

“Fine, I’m hanging up then,” Eddie huffed. 

“Don’t let me stop you, Eddie.” 

Eddie could almost feel Vanessa rolling her eyes on the other end. He paused for the longest time before saying, “I’m not in love with him. I can’t be.” 

“Why?” Vanessa asked with pity in her voice that made Eddie cringe. “Because your family thinks it’s wrong?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about this, ‘Nessa.” Eddie sighed as he parked in his spot at the firehouse parking lot. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon. Say hi to Joaquin for me.” 

“Oh yeah, Joaquin and I broke up,” Vanessa said unsympathetically. 

‘Seriously?” 

“Don’t judge,” Vanessa warned him. “I didn’t judge you or the fact that you’re in love with your best friend.” 

“Vanessa!” Eddie groaned 

“Okay, byeee…” With that, she hung up. 

Eddie sighed and got out of the truck. He waited a few seconds, just taking in some fresh air before he headed inside. The last person he wanted to see was the first one to spot him. 

Buck came over to him, and he did not look too pleased. 

Eddie immediately put up a front and smiled at Buck. “Hey, Buck. How’s it going?” 

“How’s it going? I’ve been calling you since last night!” Buck said moving his hands around. “I got a concerning message from Marisol, telling me to make sure you didn’t do anything reckless. What the hell is going on?” 

Eddie groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “She had no right,” he said annoyed. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up. 

“Eddie, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Buck gave him his pleading puppy dog eyes. 

“Marisol broke up with me,” Eddie blurted out. 

Buck looked taken aback by Eddie’s admittance. “Oh,” he said before his features softened and a sympathetic look crossed his face. “Eddie, I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” Eddie told him. “It was a long time coming.” 

“Really?” Buck looked taken aback again. “I thought you two were going strong.” 

Eddie wanted to laugh humorlessly at that. Who could possibly think that Eddie and Marisol were going strong? “Well, we weren’t.” 

“Can I ask what happened?” 

Eddie sighed, crossed his arms, and shrugged. “We just weren’t working out anymore.” 

Buck assessed Eddie’s face, making Eddie squirm under his gaze. “Eddie, is there someone else?” 

Eddie’s heart skipped a beat and suddenly an irrational fear took over him as he wondered if Buck could read his face. “No! There isn’t someone else, Buck. Do you really take me for someone who would cheat on their girlfriend?” He was a little hurt that Buck would even ask him that. 

“Eddie, that’s not what I meant. I don’t think you cheated on your girlfriend,” Buck assured him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry if it came across that way.” He searched Eddie’s eyes when Eddie averted his. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I am,” Eddie replied honestly. 

There was a long pause before Buck said, “Okay. Do you wanna hang out tonight? You, me, Chris?” 

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Even I barely get to see Chris these days. He’s so busy with his friends.”

“Okay, what about you and me then?” Buck asked in a hopeful voice. 

Eddie’s heart ached. He wanted nothing more than to say yes but, truth be told, Buck was the last person he wanted to spend time with right now. “Not tonight, Buck.” Eddie immediately felt guilty when he saw the sad look that fell over Buck’s face. “How about over the weekend?” 

Buck perked up at that. “Yes! Weekend sounds great!” He said. “I’ll make you some killer cocktails that will make forget all about your breakup.” 

Eddie couldn’t help but smile at that. “I’ll take you up on that.” 

Read the rest on AO3

((Thank you @sarastars for RPing this plot with me! Really helped build my confidence to write it!))

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #original male character #buddie #buddie wip #buddie fic #911 abc #911 fanfic

[gaymoustache]

Oh my god ive always wanted to read a groupie harry fic 😣 if you ever feel like sharing/posting a snippet please do!! 🤍 (happy holidays!)

Hello! Sorry for late response. I didn’t know sharing snippets was a thing but I can absolutely post a scene as a sneak peek. Hope you all wrapped up 2022 nicely. This new fic I’m writing joins a few things I’ve wanted to explore. First, Harry’s character is trans and may be transitioning; because it is the 70s U.S. in this fic, there are different terminologies and attitudes. Louis is Americanized (from somewhere in Appalachia). So far I’ve been really liking how the characters interact with one another. It’s technically enemies to lovers but I’m not good at making people seem like they hate each other. Here is a draft of a scene I’ve written so far. And yes, other scenes will be more interesting than this. Let me know what you think in my inbox, or message me!

Roadie Louis, Groupie Harry

When the roadies finish unpacking before the show, Louis steps into an alley for a cigarette, wanting the fresh, rain soaked air of Chicago. The asphalt soaks the bottom of his soles, leather cowboy boots he bought the last time the band was in Arizona. He shakes his lighter, but in the windy rain it’s shot, barely sparking a flame.

“Shit,” he mutters, turning back to the door. He worms his arm under his sweaty shirt, up to his mouth to see if it would shield his cig from the wind, mindlessly trying to kick the door open. But the pointy toe of his boot kicks out the doorstop, and before he can move inside it slams shut, the only way inside cut off.

“Um,” he hears, an awkward chime. “Do you need a light?”

Glancing over his shoulder, he sees Harry with a heeled shoe kicked up against the brick wall like the first time he ever saw her, leaning against the building, clearly bored. Louis figures she’s waiting around for the band, with nothing else to do after getting ready for them. And she’s dolled up. Makeup and fancy hair like it’s an occasion, seeing a show in Chicago. Like this is the gig she was waiting for.

Louis realizes he must seem pretty judgmental, ornery eyes narrowing at Harry. At her paisley wrap blouse, at her miniskirt. Then he remembers he does need a light, and that he ought to be nice enough to get one out of her. Kind stranger.

“Yeah, wouldja mind, doll?”

“I wouldn’t,” Harry answere easily, sticking her cigarette to her lip to reach down into her platform boots.

Out she pulls an old-fashioned lighter, windproof metal. She clicks it open with a strong thumb, pressing it down to reveal the light. Louis holds out the end of his cigarette to it, lighting it until it puffs and he can feel the slightest burn at the back of his throat. It smells like butane and wet rain, but the awning and fire escapes somehow keep them dry.

“Thanks,” Louis says, a beat too late. Harry just nods, quiet, dragging on her own, looking down at the asphalt.

Louis has no choice but to look at her, with her oversized suede coat boxing her figure in. She’s demure, her only trace of masculinity hiding itself in the hair above her lip, the muscles in her thighs. Her platform boots weigh her down, and yet— she has the ability to hold herself like she weighs nothing.

“So are you like a— don’t take no offense to this, but are you a transvestite?”

Harry doesn’t seem fazed by the question, blinking down at the rain covered asphalt of the alley. Between them, a large plunk of rainwater falls from the grates of the fire escape, hitting the ground with a splash. Harry steps a half-inch away from it.

“I guess… if that’s your name for it then I guess so.” She shrugs, and where her jacket slips off her shoulders, he can see the softness of her broad shoulder in the evening light. Freckles brush the tops of her arms from summer, the same that sprinkle over her nose, barely noticeable. Louis reckons he’d be able to see them better if she didn’t wear makeup. If she wasn’t moving all the time, he’d sneak a look every once in a while. She’s turning towards the door, back to the alley, blinking down at Louis. Right in his eyes.

“Is that what you think I am?”

Louis looks at her, taking a slow drag, holding in the smoke for a moment before blowing it up into the sky. He watches the smoke feather through the grates of the fire escape, then when it’s all gone, says, “I can't decide that for you. That’s like tellin’ a horse it’s a cow ‘cause it don’t run.”

Harry just looks at him, somewhat suspicious, painted eyelids hooded. Blue eyeshadow, dark green mascara. The way she looks, she’s nothing like the other girls Louis has seen come around. Not at all.

And that means something, but Louis frankly doesn’t want to admit it. Can't stand how it’s been years and years of being indifferent towards all the sweet, provocative ladies that hang around the band members. All it takes is one with cropped hair and a broad, flat torso for him to change his mind.

“What,” Louis starts, always hating how silence like this drives him crazy, “what exactly are you gaining from all this? All this, following a mediocre band around. Why do you do that?”

Harry giggles around her cigarette, looking out at the alley. “I’ve got nothing better to do, Louis.”

Her accent softens around the edges, the same way her smile does. She tucks her chin slightly in her neck, a finger tapping out the ashes of her cigarette in Louis’s periphery. He can hardly notice it, because she’s looking at him, giving him the same eyes he’d seen before. When she makes faces at Earl, curled up beside him on the couch with those long legs thrown over his lap.

Louis shakes his head, moving a step back from her. After this, there’s no need for them to ever speak again. You go your way, and I’ll go mine. An early morning chauffeur to Chicago and a spare lighter means nothing, because Louis doesn’t fuck groupies.

#my fics #larry #writing process #blah blah blah

[twelvedaysinaugust]

The idea that Harry would do it out of anger over the Sofie situation doesn't make sense to me. /

I agree, this has never really rung true to me. I will say, what's slightly more plausible to me is the idea that it's more meant to subtly reassure fans. I don't tend to think Harry or Louis are intentionally communicating with larries ... pretty much at all, but I think if they were going to it would be very occasional and very subtle (not like, here's a secret message countdown to our coming out, more like, wink nod we're still going strong, iykyk). And there are enough instances of Harry doing just... slightly odd things in that category to me (top of mind - I Will Survive at Coachella, picking up those Louis pride flags, even Harryween) that I think it's plausible. I don't think it's necessarily the most likely reality (like, maybe Harry and his band just made a bet and the winner got to pick the new song on the set list), but I do think it's a plausible reality.

Sorry it took me forever to answer this. I wanted to come up with a good response.

I agree that Harry and Louis both play around with Larry to this day. I don't think it's anywhere near as much as some people think. And even discounting the marketing/promo stuff that would involve teams of people (which is a whole other can of worms), I still think they do it. And maybe it's not "for fans" per se, but it still happens very publicly in front of fans. And it is something that does kind of... bug me. In the sense that, if Harry and Louis are going to say a lot of the Larry stuff bothers them (fair and also same) or that it has negative repercussions for the people close to them (also fair)... why do it at all?

I still lean towards it being self-expression. But to put it another way, I think it's a pretty common human experience to want to keep something private but also make it known at the same time. Like, there is something rewarding about sharing experiences and parts of yourself with others - it feels validating and reaffirming - but sometimes you don't want to share all of it.

There are a lot of morbid examples running through my mind, like making a joke about a serious topic that isn't actually a joke. But perhaps a better example is when you like someone and you kind of hint at it. But if they were to ask you point blank, you'd deny it. Or when you're really excited about a birthday present you got for a friend and you can't help but say, "I got you the best birthday gift. I can't wait for you to open it." But then you don't actually tell them what it is. I don't know if I'm making any sense but I wanted to write this out because it helped me make sense of things. Anyways, I can think of a million examples from my own life when I felt compelled to hint at something or joke about it - like, I just couldn't help myself because I wanted to share it, just not all of it. And if someone was to push for more information, I probably wouldn't give it. And when we do those things, I think it's usually for ourselves and less about sending any kind of message.

#to put it yet another way #the tension between wanting to be seen and understood #while still keeping certain parts private and intimate #for Harry and Louis #I kind of imagine it as being the tension between wanting to be seen #but also not wanting to be outed #and I think it goes beyond Larry

[blackjackkent]

Still slowly working on clearing out the nautiloid crash area map, bit by bit. Found the cellar of an apothecary shop in the Blighted Village where apparently a Red Wizard of Thay has been masquerading as a healer while working on necromantic research. Beginning to think maybe this place was kind of fucked up even before the Absolute got to it. We had to fight a bunch of undead guardians and it was a whole thing.

Also of interest in this basement is this strange mirror in the corner, which rather stands out from the rest of everything which is kind of mossy and overgrown.

Hector speaks to it and reveals a spirit or enchantment of some sort inside:

"Speak your name."

One of the dialogue options here is quite excellent:

Luckily, Hector is a nerd and read all the books in the basement before approaching the mirror. (I actually got an achievement down here for having read 100 books in a single playthrough.) So he blew all the dialogue checks here out of the park.

He remembered a name from a journal to identify the Red Wizard working here, and passed a history check to provide an opinion on the Thay lich Szass Tam. He answered a trivia question about balsam ointment (which he'd read elsewhere in the basement was used to clean wounds).

And then the mirror had a final question for him.

"Finally...if you could see anything in me, what would it be?"

The three options here were "I would see my loved ones," "I would see my enemies suffering," and "I would look for a spell to get this worm out of my head." Really only the latter seemed like something Hector would say; he cares for those at the monastery but I'm not sure he sees himself as having "loved ones". It's been made clear already that growing up in a Selune temple comes with a major emphasis on self-reliance and stoicism. And he's not vindictive against his enemies either.

So he says the line about the worm, and the mirror seems pleased. "You seek to survive. You seek power. Be welcome."

Hector isn't sure he likes that analysis much.

Behind the mirror is a laboratory where it appears the wizard has been doing his research on reanimating the dead. This terrifying thing is in one corner behind a locked gate and several traps:

Narrator: The book is locked tight, with no visible keyhole - only an oval recess in the cover's mouth. You try to examine the book, but the longer you stare, the more those piercing amethyst eyes draw you in. You can sense something dark about this tome - something profane.

Gale and Shadowheart were both in favor of investigating the book further, which is all very well for them because they are not currently holding it. Karlach, however, was quite forceful:

"Please don't open the creepy book."

Sorry, Gale, Hector's with Karlach on this one.

Drop the tome, ready to destroy it.

Narrator: You feel better the second the book is out of your hands.

"What are you doing? That's no way to treat a book!"

Gale, your judgment in matters of ancient dark powers is suspect. (And trust me, Hector is just as much of a nerd as you are and isn't thrilled about having to do this either.)

Narrator: The voices return. Louder. Stronger. Commanding you to stop...but they have no hold on you. All you have to do is strike.

Despite the animation in the cutscene, the book is still in Hector's inventory, with this ominous descriptive message:

Drop. Smash.

...It's apparently immune to bludgeoning damage so we hit it with a guiding bolt and it burned right up ^_^

...and then Gale sassed me for destroying a book and then some terrifying shadow creatures spawned out of it.

What is even happening around here.

...They don't have too much HP so I wasn't super worried about this fight but then one of them straight up one-hit-KO'd Gale with something called "Strength Drain." AHHHHHHHH.

Luckily Shadowheart has Revivify now and the rest of the fight went okay. But yeesh. Time for a long rest.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #this is a weird place man :P

[undiscovered-horizon]

Stalker!Peter Parker

Check out the 500 followers special!

Sorry guys I just love dark themes 💀

Also please excuse my inactivity I'm neck-deep into writing my novel (~17k words for now)

The whole thing starts pretty innocently

Peter just wants to know more about you before he actually strikes up a conversation with you

Just so he knows what to talk about and not to make a fool out of himself

The worst thing that can happen is you thinking he's lame and he DESPERATELY needs to prevent that

At first, he just makes a fake profile on social media to see what you've been up to, what you like, who you hang out with and where

So, in a way, he's now involved in your life and it only gets worse from here tbh

He's an Invisible Underdog™️ so practically disappears in a crowd

And no one has a clue he's following you around

Takes an impossible amount of pictures of you in various places (not necessarily public) and doing various things

Has a box filled with film rolls under his bed

One of the things he already knows, without his dubious "research", is your locker

So don't be surprised when you start to get short notes like "You're cute" or "Have a good day"

All of your friends tease you for having a secret admirer

Imma be honest, he's probably outside your window right now

Of course dressed as Spider-Man because a vigilante sitting on a rooftop at night doesn't raise suspicion

Messages you frequently from the fake account

Leaves gifts at your front door

If you mention, anywhere to anyone, that some school work is difficult, the next morning you're going to find it done, tucked under the locker door

Sometimes you think you can see someone outside your window but it's just your imagination...right?

Just go to sleep, there's definitely no high school lovestruck boy watching you live your nighttime routine

Any show, book or movie you have ever mentioned - he has seen/read them all. Multiple times.

Peter has made some kind of scrapbook/journal thing with his favorite pictures of you and things that remind him of you

IT'S RESEARCH OKAY

Definitely has broken into and snooped around your bedroom while you were sleeping or out of the house

Back to social media, cause he would definitely stalk your Spotify/Tidal/Apple Music account

What's your favourite band?? What do you listen to when you're sad?? When you're happy??

That's also how he knows, more or less, what kind of day you're having which causes a whole different can of worms to open

Maybe has hacked into your social media and read through messages, went through friends, pictures, blocked accounts, all the shebang

Mama always said curiosity is the first step to knowledge and we're committing a Noble prize over here

#tasm!spiderman #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine #scenario #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel scenario #marvel fanfic #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm!spiderman x you #spiderman #spider man scenario #amazing spiderman #spider man x reader #the amazing spider man #spider man #marvel spiderman #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman imagine #spiderman x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker scenario #peter parker imagine #peter parker drabble #pater parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #mcu spiderman

[strangeswift]

ok can I ask an honest question? I feel like I’ve been wanting to spit this out for a while. you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to open a can of worms i wont be offended. I just thought id ask a blog that’s vocal, discusses the topic seriously and would be honest!

There’s been a lot of awesome posts about not treating byler like sanitised babies anymore and not ignoring the maturer parts of their relationship anymore. And i 1000% agree!

It still feels like we’re tip toeing but is that the point? like theres still too many puritanical blogs that we can’t enjoy the ship normally yet, is that it? if someone were to break the ice, is that still grounds and a guarantee for them getting dogpiled and deemed unsafe? Maybe we are waiting to live in a post s5 age up world?

implying mature scenes is a great step but it is sad to see creators hold back a lot. I vote go for it. byler is a normal couple and ship like any other and i cant believe for another example that it’s taken this long for people to accept we want to discuss byler as adults, not just the same post s4 painting apocalypse content - they have their whole lives ahead of them for us to play with!

Ps. I really love your energy and cheer you on for whatever you want to explore. same for all your mutuals if you don’t post this. I hope they at least know so many people are ready for any implications or fun mature themes they want to put in their work!

hi anon!!! thank you for the very sweet and respectful message. disclaimer before i say anything: this is just my personal opinion, i am not any kind of authority on this and everyone should form their own opinions. (also my thoughts might be jumbled, sorry in advance.)

okay so. i won't speak for other creators, but for me personally it is still an issue where i feel the need to tiptoe a bit unfortunately. now, i might not be the best person to ask about this, because there are other people who have been vocal about this for a long time, and i've been purposely silent until now because i have Anxiety™️. however, i will speak for myself here.

to answer your question, i think the fear myself and a lot of creators have is dogpiling and getting deemed as unsafe, yes. i personally have experienced someone on here trying to imply that i was some sort of creep because i made a joke. and literally the joke had to do with byler KISSING. in fairness, after i explained the joke to the person who misconstrued it they did apologize, but my point is: this is a reality for people with platforms in this fandom. even if it's just one person calling you out, it's anxiety inducing for someone to imply that you're a creep. and it's not something a lot of creators want to open themselves up to. and dogpiling is also a reality. i think we've seen it more on twitter than on here, and it gets uglier on twt (as everything does) but it certainly has happened on tumblr too.

honestly i think there's a lot of factors that go into the puritanical culture in this fandom, i think it's a more complex issue than a lot of people seem to think. first of all, it's a fandom space where minors and adults are regularly interacting, so that alone creates a tricky dynamic when it comes to discussing matute content. and because it's a complex issue, there is a whole spectrum of opinions and viewpoints. and a lot of the time, i don't know exactly where i fall on that spectrum, which is why i chose to just focus on discussing the content that i personally am interested in reading and writing, which includes implied sexual content, characters (even as minors) experiencing sexual attraction, and sexual jokes. anything beyond that i'm not gonna talk about it, because i'm staying in my lane here. again, the lane being the content that i personally am interested in reading and writing. if other people who have firm opinions on the topic want to have a discussion about explicit sexual content, that's for them to do. i am just Not That Guy. *whispers* but if they're aged up who fucking cares WHAT WHO SAID THAT i didn't say anything..

anyway, personally i feel like anything on par with the actual content in the show is more than fair game, and that's the standard i sort of naturally use for myself when it comes to including mature content in fics. again, anything beyond that 🤷‍♀️ not my circus not my monkeys? idk man.

all of this said, you can expect significantly more mature themes in my upcoming works, though by literally any other fandom's standards it'll be incredibly tame, by byler fandom standards i'll certainly be pushing some boundaries. 🎉

thanks for the ask, anon!

#asks #abby rambles

[theangryjikooker]

just read your last anon and I’m usually just a silent reader, and tbh as someone who believe Jikook are a think I disagree with you a lot, but anyways I like reading your blog you seem very down to earth and I like that and I get your frustration. it’s not the first time that I see similar messages and i know I’ll get bashed for saying this but I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. I’ve been in shipping spaces for a long time, I share this "hobby" with a friend of mine and so many "cishets" as they say use the queer umbrella as a shield because we know damn well rps mlm shipping has been thrown upon (sometimes for good reasons, and often times due to misogyny, but that’s just my opinion ). I know some ppl are gonna get mad at this and call me names, not sure why I even send this but as a "cishet" (I usually refuse to use the word cis but that’s another can of worms I won’t open here) I’m seriously done with this mindset. i’m free to make assumptions and ship whoever I want or deny any ship I want to deny like anyone else and being part of the lgbt community is not a requirement to ship, what’s with people acting like the thought police here… ha sorry I needed to vent I guess, that post made me mad

Yes, it's fine to disagree with me! A lot of people who are following me don't agree with everything I have to say, if any at all. The only reason why I know this is that I've seen some familiar names interact with bloggers I 100% would not get along with, but that's really none of my business. I'm not here to change minds.

I think those followers tend to be curious about what I have to say about some aspect of Jikook. Sometimes it'll make them think; most of the time they think I'm full of shit. I have my own critiques of hardcore shippers/supporters, so I fully expect that my existence throws a wrench in all of that and incites aggression in others. All I do is talk about how I feel. Anyone who chooses to interact with me are doing so of their own volition and are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. So this POV is a bit of a slippery slope. If we cast doubt on everyone and everything because a fraction of one's community is encouraging those feelings, it doesn't help anyone. Personally, I haven't "met" general ARMYs or shippers who have pretended to be queer, but I've read about this happening. I think the real culprit is the anonymity of the Internet and what kind of behaviors that's enabled over the years, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.

To be fair, I understand queer shippers who are tentative about shipping occurring amongst cishets, which is valid, but the way some of them go about protecting what they consider an exclusively LGBTQ+ activity can be extremist and nonsensical, in my opinion.

(Part of me also suspects that this overly passionate dedication amounts to how important fandom is to a person. I prioritize and cherish my real life more than I ever could about fandom, but fandom is also a much needed escape for others, so I can see how that might play a part in people's motivations and how they might go about protecting their safe space.)

Male, female, non-binary, gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever your sexual or gender identity–don't be an asshole and don't be an idiot, that's all I'm saying. If you're cishet and shipping two males/two females, just be mindful about how you're going about it is all. Shipping because you genuinely care about the individuals involved and believe in who they are as human beings vs. fetishizing them (unintentionally or otherwise) can get a little blurry. (Fetishization is not the only issue that occurs in this cishet vs. lgbtq+ in fandom discourse, but it's the most common and most talked about.)

In my opinion, attraction isn't so discerning; sometimes people just gravitate to whomever they like. If cishets can recognize that attraction is just a feeling that can occur among and across different genders and sexualities, I don't see how this is a bad thing at all.

__

* Sorry, I talk about "cishets" like I'm othering them, and I don't really care much for that attitude, but for distinction purposes, it is what it is.

#TAJ asks #anon submission #jikook #kookmin #jikookers #kookminers #bts shipping #bts fandom

[noirineverysense]

Trio of idiots arc

She checks her phone and notices a few missed calls and some text messages. Unsurprisingly it's all from the same person, Zak, with a text from Ash buried in them to pick up some groceries on the way back. She blinks, thinking whether she should open this can of worms now or during her lunch break. It could just be Zak excited about the bot fight again, or something more serious. She checks the text messages.

it's another! she's another! a mutant like us!

The grammar is horrible, and Zak uses way too many exclamation marks. He does that when he's in his nervous but excited moods, though the next messages tell her he's learning more on the former.

she just yelled it in the lunch hall people heard her is she insane i can't deal with this alone you have to help me

It doesn't occur to Zak to use commas. It never does. She should make him use commas. It's an important skill.

She supposes she's fussing about Zak's grammar to allay her own worries. This could get messy, and she didn't want to involve the others in another mess, the ACP seemed to be settling down into its quiet inordinaries, not to mention the three of them still had moving boxes to unpack.

She squints at the texts, it also didn't occur to Zak to tell her who this person even was. She supposed she'll find out soon enough.

Listen, tell me about it when we get home. Bring her too if she wants. And make sure to keep her from telling anyone else.

She puts down her phone and looks back at her computer screen. The same blank Excel sheet open. She didn't particularly like this admin job, but it was at a media company and they said she could work her way up. She would end up with her job soon, she just had to be patient.

She was good at being patient.

Her phone lights up and its Zak with another spiel of nervousness but she gets the general idea that he'd bring her over so she texts Ash in case he decides he's having one of his shirtless days. She didn't particularly mind those days and Zak definitely didn't, but their guest might.

"You look busy."

She jolts, her head spins to her manager with an unamused look on her face.

"Sorry, Ma'am, I'll get right on it."

Funny how she escaped years of captivity to find herself working hours a day under an uncompromising superior for little pay. She supposed it was a little better, after all it was a 9-5 rather than a 24/7 torture experience.

Her manager lets out a huff, then says in a rather reluctant tone, "The boss wants to see you."

She nods and gets up to walk towards the office of the company boss. There's a horrible sense of familar dread rising in her.

"The worst he can do is fire you. The worst he can do is fire you."

Great, now she's mumbling to herself like a maniac.

She takes a breath and opens the office door. Her boss, which she would describe in an article as a stout man of a cheery disposition, brightens as she enters.

"Ms. Reyes! Please come in."

She winces at the name as she follows the instruction. It's common enough to not arouse suspicion and Arthur was kind enough to give it to her. But it doesn't really sound like her name. She doesn't want Zak's though and she'd die before becoming a Vittal.

"I've an opportunity for you!"

She blinks, "What do you mean?"

Please say it, please say it.

"I want you to cover a story. I thought you deserved the chance."

"Oh, thank you! I won't let you down." This is great. She didn't expect this so soon.

"Of course not. Though I'll warn you, you were only given this because the others didn't want to deal with the person I'm asking you to interview without a bonus."

So she's been given the dirty work. Fine, she can take on anyone. No one could be worse than -

"Kamal Vittal, the new CEO of the international wholesaler, Metals, Molecules & More, is known for his unsavoury personality. Perhaps you could go down that angle, would people really want to follow a man who some might describe as off-putting? Well, whatever your approach, I'm sure you're ready to jump right on the job."

The world starts to spin in a way that she's worried it'll all go dark. She thinks she's about to jump out of the window instead.

#rosie has an office job #and is learning fancy words so she can use them #whumper run in #previous captivity #trauma #non human whumpee #trio of idiots arc #acp

[petphantoms]

hi I'm the anon from earlier. clarifying that scott isn't aro and i was referring to it being a headcanon I've seen alongside these types of interpretations, my bad on the wording there. and thank you for sharing your thoughts, I'd hate to get into like "shipping discourse" or anything so i hope the original message wasn't too idk pessimistic or aggressive about it, i was really frustrated at the time and the whole thing was really rubbing me the wrong way (so i might have been a little less charitable in my observations). I love discussions around interpretations and fanon and aus of this kind of thing and i think your input is thoughtful and interesting! sorry for dragging it out onto this one random blog though i do feel a little bad about it, you seem cool though

lol nooo! i love to talk! and aah that makes sense.. as a headcanon, and then pairing them together... that deffo rubs me wrong. and espec if he was aro irl, right, thats a totally different can of worms.. idk how to explain myself there but ty for the clarification!

i mean to be completely honest, i made the post bc i was asking. i was frustrated with it too, because my exposure to scott in the fandom had only been negative, so it was just not sitting right with me. now that im learning my way around i definitely am finding more folks that share interpretations similar to myself (or they just post silly shit and thats all i want anyway), and its not as like. im realizing. oh thank god, not everyone is doing that, but it was still so weird scary to walk in on...

100% if you want to chit chat or something about this stuff feel free to keep sending anons or even message the blog? i can dm you with my main or something if you go off anon and tell me you want that, lol. im open to really any shipping discourse i guess not because im a discourse person (i dont rly like discourse ngl) but because i do have an interest in what makes people see things the way they do, and i like discussions where i can throw my own hat into the ring and either learn things or feel like im engaging with others thoughtfully instead of passively.

i am 100% open to hearing your thoughts and or bitching, i wont say im staunchly anti a!fh, because truth be told i just dont have enough stake in it to care (and those who did explain themselves to me didnt seem to have poor intentions in mind, and it was just an interpretation! which was nice), but i am definitely.. not someone whos going to partake in it myself, lol...

i feel like i just rambled in a circle here but. don't feel bad for talking abt it, i opened the door myself, and 100% i love to chat so if you have more to say im all ears! we dont have to agree to have a discussion, hehe (: -🍄

#mod mooshroom #in the mines #asks

[killert]

Hello, im sorry you went through a narcissistic abuse, i totally understand how that feels like, wanna talk abt it ?

Oh thank you. Sorry but I don’t think I can, there’s just a lot I haven’t dealt with yet and I don’t want to open that can of worms. But thank you for your kind message

[red-tintedglasses]

Flirting During Life-Saving Surgery 101

(TW for: general TW, masochism (implied), flirty murder, surgery)

Chapter 7/?

A large, clean-cut house is their destination. Jimmy leans his head against the headrest with a sigh. Usually, he would rather die than see Madeline, but this time, it's a life-or-death where the death isn't particularly glamorous or eye-catching. And who would want to die like that? He opens the car door and gets out and lurches towards the hard pavement. He stretches out his arms to balance himself, and he starts swaying, vomit rising in his mouth.

"Je$u$ chr*st..." Gregg slams the car door on his way out and leans Jimmy on his shoulder. "How the fuck did you even survive this long!?"

“I was doing just fine! I don't need your help!" Jimmy uses Gregg as his human crutch as they hobble to the front door. 

Jimmy raps on the metal, missing a few times. Then again, fist hitting nothing but air. And now Gregg pounds his fist on the door. It swings open and a small, 15 year old opens the door. She has her black hair up in a pony tail with two strands left in the front, like shes always prepared to be looking down at a mess of human gore. Madeline looks down at Jimmy’s leg and she moves aside to let them enter. “When did that happen?” she asks. Jimmy hums. “Maybe an hour ago?”

Madelime rolls her eyes and she leads them inside, to the tiled kitchen. "Please sit down on the dining chairs. I'll bring my medical kit shortly." She leabes the kitchen and disappears around the corner.

Gregg guides Jimmy to the chair and sits him down which Jimmy does with a loud, relieved sigh. Gregg leans on the counter as they wait.

Bzzt.

Gregg ignores the phone's vibrating.

Bzzt.

Gregg moves off the counter, the vibration reverbing throughout the room.

Bzzt.

Jimmy doesn't seem to notice his phone buzzing with message after message.

"Jimmy," Gregg spits out through gritted teeth. "Your phone has been vibrating non-stop. Fix it before I fucking crush it."

“I didn’t notice, being shot in the leg is kind of more important don’t you think?” Jimmy sighs. He takes his phone out to find new messages from a contact freshly saved as Cyrus (tall killer ♡).

>Did you die? 

>I mean you wont respond if you are dead >But i wouldnt know if you were dead or just not a texter! @_@

>are you still bleeding? 

>if you still are at this point thats actually kinda embarrasing >:/

>ok your iced coffee thing from that cafe is okay

> …

>no its bad im sorry >~<

>that was mean i apologize :(

>ok im definitely rambling 

>ugghhhhh sorry 

>ARE you dead tho 

>if you arent then text me 

>or not if you dont want to 

>if you are dead then like 

>uhhhhhhhh 

>fuck i dont know

>Ouija me ig

Jimmy blinks in surprise at the long, rambly string of texts.

<bury me with my garfield collection 

>oh nooooooo!!!!!!

>cant believe you diiiiied!!!!

>...:?

>collection of what tho

>like books or toys 

>what about your worms?

>WAIT WAIT sorry uh 

>are you still dying and being shot at

<nah i shot the cop, he was like right next to us and killed him and shit

<hes so dead and not alive

Jimmy doesn’t bother telling them how badly he had fumbled the bag, or in this case, gun.

>what thats it? 

>well thats no fun >:/

>expected more from Star Glasses Jimmy >wait wait omg! 

>so theres this girl right and she got 

>well lets just say she got punished >;) 

(Somewhere in the distance, Cyrus cringes at the winky face they sent) 

>and now shes all broken and shaking and had a panic attack

>all because of havng a bit of fun with her! >:/

>sorry rambling again 

>most people dont find the human psyche as interesting as i do

<mc fucking excuse me? 

<tell me more about this girl 

<is she alright? 

<and dont worry about rambling, im a fucking hot mess also.

>no she is not! :D 

>and dont worry abt her being okay, she can do her job just fine! 

>ooo you want to heat my silly rants about the mind and atuff? 

>yay! >w<

Jimmy smiles at the emoticon.

>okay, so

One long rant about hypervigilance and heart rates later, Jimmy understands nothing.

 >and next time you see a cop, we can meet up and put that pig through some hellish torture!! >:) I have many ideas for convienent torture methods as well! 

>Much more fun than a plain old panic attack like that girl decided to do, hehehe

>that is, if you dont get shot again •-•

<well hey give me the benefit of the doubt, i was bleeding out and the car was moving. 

<damn, you really fucked up that girl didn’t you?

>i did fuck her up! It was really fun too! 

>I got punched by her though :( 

>but it was worth it! 

>:?....

>i hope your text was meant to sound proud of me!

>if not then your not as fun as i thought youd be~ >:3

>and here i was, offering to show you Cyrus's Convienient Torture Hacks for Instant Euphoria!

<darling 

<have you seen my murders, id say im the opposite of fun ;)

>no, i havent seen your murders :(... 

>but judging by your tone i can safely say >that i'd love to watch you go to flesh-ripping town on some victims 

>we have very similar definitions of fun, >Darling ;)

>Look up ‘the artist chicago' if you like blood baths~

>bluh

>why bother with googling? Theyll just be censored, at best just blurred 

>the public are a bunch of pussies! Like its just a bit of guts and blood! Ò_Ó

>and cmon, i could just whip up my own blood bath! 

>bet i could do better than you >:)

Gregg is reading over Jimmy's shoulder. He rolls his eyes with an infuriated sigh.

<gregg stop reading over my shoulder, i can see you dumbass 

<mr. Can’t Even Get the Cops off His Ass

<anyway, CYRUS you could never beat my murders darling

>id love to see you tryyy~

>who is gregg :?

>anyway 

>call me darling again and maybe I'll try harder,

>Sweetheart! hehehe…

Gregg groans out, "Oh my fucking god, Jimmy. What did I just tell you about oversharing?" He means it rhetorically only because he knows Jimmy forgot already.

“Why do you care so much, anyway? You're no fun…” Jimmy pouts. 

<gregg is just the guy who like saved my ass

<but hes so boring and hes yelling at me 

He sees the last text Cyrus sent

<call me sweetheart and i’ll rip out your eye balls and feed it to your neighbors dog

>0_0

Jimmy corrects himself

<darling ;)

>0o0

>well what would you prefer? 

>Sweetie? 

>Sunshine? 

>^^you called me that at one point i think

>perhaps even Darling! 

>Kitten? 

Jimmy holds down a giggle.

>But i am intrigued in seeing you again, even if you will rip out my eyeballs right after

>sweetheart

>sweetie

>sunshine

>want me to go on?

Madeline comes back with a red duffel bag. She kneels in front of Jimmy and begins cleaning the wound.

<if you call me kitten, i will torture you in ways you could never even think of, honey ;)

<i am also 'intrigued' to see you again, maybe when my leg isnt bleeding out? 

<you never know, you might even find my address and just show up 

<i do that alot! The shock value is unmatched

>why not make it a fun game of leaving behind breadcrumbs and leaving me to pick them up and investigate them, huh?

>drag me around on a chain of red tape until i finally win? 

>lets see if you can make good on your winky-faced threats, kitten

(In their apartment, Cyrus is currently burying their face into a pillow and grinning like an idio).

<i hope you dont use your eyeballs much, love ;) 

<but im more into real bloodbaths and not boring old investigations

<if it makes you happy, i can add a couple of extra special hearts in my crime scenes for you~

>youll dedicate some of your bloodbaths to me? :0 

>thats not as scary as your trying to make it sound :)

>i do take it back though! Youre very fun. As a killer. 

>and im fun! As a torturer! 

>we should show each other the ropes sometimes

>and i mean that genuinely, kitten~ ;) 

>^^see that? Triple threat. Tilde, winky face, and calling you kitten

>try and beat that >:)!

>(i am being genuine tho)

Madeline starts removing the bullet with a pair of tweezers, her hand as steady as a senior surgeons. Jimmy winces in pain.

<im better at delivering my threats than giving them, darling, no matter now many winky faces i have

<and who said it was supposed to be scary? <i think theres a better use to your body when its dead

<your intestines could be some pretty nice party streamers, my ray of sunshine ;)

>anything for you sweetheart! 

(Cyrus whimpers, flustered and pleasantly shocked by Jimmy's 'threats'). 

>bet i could show you how great it feels to feel somebody writhe and scream and cry as you inflict agonizing pain upon them! 

>you can show me a thing or two as well, kitten 

>if you do then you can do whatever you please with my intestines. 

>just make sure im alive and aware for it :)

>Wouldn't mind my organs being taken if it was you~ ;)

Gregg sighs. "Oh my god, stop fucking flirting. Even Madeline can tell you want this guy in your pants, and she's dealing with the sinkhole in your leg!"

Jimmy’s face goes through the five stages of grief. “Gregg, please don't bring me into this,” Madeline says, not looking up from her work. “Oh, come on!" He huffs. "We'ree not /flirting/, that's how I /always/ talk!” He beams at Gregg innocently.

"Either way, /they're/ flirting with /you/. A lot. They literally want you to take their guts out. And /watch/ you do it." Gregg sighs and looks away from Jimmy's phone. "Can't fucking deal with this anymore..." he grumbles. However he clearly decides to continue dealing with it, because he doesn't move from his optimal phone-seeking position.

“I can't blame them! Did you see my gut dress? I'm practically an expert in that by now!” Jimmy laughs.

"God, no. I dont want to see whatever paraphilia this is in action while you two flirt like there's no tomorrow." 

Cyrus continues texting. 

>i am being serious about the delights of torture! >w<

>invite me the next time you get that itch in your brain for a good bloody hunt. >:)

Jimmy grins and Gregg groans again.

>i think i can make the euphoria last longer, kitten, in ways you cant imagine

>just like your fun little plans for me~

“But /Gregg/," he moves his head to wink at Gregg. "there /could/ be no tomorrow!” Madeline places the still dripping bullet onto a towel, which she wraps up and puts into a paper bag. She takes a needle and threads to sew up the wound with. “Jimmy, they are really flirting with you,” She comments before she starts.

"Yeah, exactly!" Gregg huffa. "And /she/ can't even see the fucking screen! And I /would/ say you're flirting back, too, if you werent such a hot mess of flambuoyancy! I cant even tell when you mean the things you say!"

“I am /not/ a hot mess of flambuoyancy!” He turns off his phone. Madeline cuts the final thread and admires her finished handiwork. She remains silent and watches the argument play out.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just dont fucking meet up with that guy, okay? For all we know, they're going to plunge a knife 8 inches deep into you!"

Jimmy goes silent and swings his legs on the chair.  “So… bad news. Its a little late for that!”

Gregg slams his palm against the back of the chair. Then he paces in a tight circle, once. Then he yells loudly into the ceiling. 

"C'mon Gregg, I already /told/ you how I met them!'

"Well, fuck me! You wanna be cremated or buried, Jimmy?"

“Why are you so worried!” Jimmy yells back

"Because even if it hasn't been hammered into /your/ thick skull, I know that /outsiders/ can't be trusted! Especially when they want you to vivisect them!" That last bit isn't actual proof, it just irks him.

“I'm sure they weren’t serious about it!” He’s pretty sure they are serious about it.

"God, you're a fucking idiot." He pinches his forehead like he's having a migraine. He can feel one coming on already. "How much longer 'til he's done, Madeline?"

“Oh, I've been done for a while now,” she says from across the room making tea. She had gotten bored of the arguing. "Tea, Gregg?" Gregg looks down where he last saw her. Then up at where she is now. "Oh. Uh. Sure. Jimmy?"

Jimmy giggles knowingly. “I'm good, but thanks, Madeline!"

Gregg makes his way over to Madeline. "I'll take some." She gets out two tea cups and pours in the deep brown liquid. “Do you want sugar or cream?”

"None. I take it straight." No he does not. Gregg is a coffee person and has never tried tea. •But how different can it be?• He grasps the cup like it's a mug. "Look, Jimmy," he takes a sip and turns to Jimmy. "Just stop flirting with them. Or at least don't let them entertain the notion that you'll go on some passionate killing spree for them."

“But I would go on a mass killing spree for them?” Jimmy looks confused. "I already promised!" 

Madeline grabs her cup of tea and pretty much fades into the background.

"Yeah, sure, okay! But don't!" Gregg takes another sip and grimaces from the taste. "See this look on my fucking face?" He points a finger at myself. That's because this whole thing with this Cyrus character reeks of backstabbing!"

“But why not? Murder sprees are fun!” He says offended “And you should meet Cyrus! They are a perfectly fine person!”

"Uh-huh, yeah" he slowly puts down the teacup and tries to lick the taste off from inside his mouth. "Go and murder, whatever. Just not for /them/. And I don't want that fucker's grubby paws in my life the same way they've got you sending winky faces and pet names and flirty threats every other text."

"Gregg." Madelike pipes up.

“/What/, Madeline?" He snaps, frustrated. 

"How does your tea taste?"

"Uh.." Gregg looks down at his tea. "Like shit." He grabs the counter, suddenly unbalanced.

"Please be more specific."

"It stings and has an aftertaste."

Madeline sighs. "Thank you. The solution is meant to be tasteless." She takes out a small cup of lightly-greened fluid. “Please drink this.”

"Uhh..." he squint and reaches for it. He misses the first time, and at the second try he grabs hold. He ingests the antidote. "What... was that?" He asks.

“A poison I'm working on. It still needs some work."

Now recovering, Gregg glares at Madeline. "You poisoned this and didn't tell me?"

“Yes, my apologies.” She has always spoken like she was before her time. “Don’t worry, it wouldn't have killed you, especially if you were my victim and you tasted it and understood your drink had been tampered with.” Gregg sighs and rolls his eyes. "Dammit, Madeline, you could have just asked!" He looks back at Jimmy. "Did you know she was going to do that?"

“She does that sometimes~" Jimmy smiles and shrugs.

"You should've poisoned Jimmy instead. It would knock some sense into him." Gregg huffs and goes back to leaning on Jimmy's chair. "And him being passed out on the floor would save us the misery of hearing some more shit flirting."

“If he asked for tea, it would have been him," Madeline says in an attempt to be comforting.

Gregg scoffs. "If we get him sober, maybe the collective hangover can kill him." He looks at Madeline. "Do you have coffee? Without poison." “I don’t think I've ever seen Jimmy sober. It /could/ kill him.” She prepares a cup of coffee and waits beside the coffee maker.

"That guy you were talking to would probably be digging medical instruments into you if they wanted." He says to Jimmy, continuing their argument. "Considering how excited they got over some traumatized girl."

“Well everyone has their quirks! And it was interesting! Even if I didn't really understand it…” He mumbles in Cyrus's defense.

"I think wanting to have their organs used as party streamers and traumatizing a little girl with practically /no/ violence goes well beyond a quirk! And- god, why do i bother?" He asks Madeline, "Can we leave now, or are there /more/ poisons you want to try on me?" He drawls  sarcastically.

“You can leave," she gives Gregg a disposable cup of black coffee. She leads them to the front door.

"Call me if you start coughing up blood," she deadpans her joke. "Or if Jimmy sobers up.'

“Thanks Madeline.” Jimmys says while Gregg rolls his eyes.

They walk to the car as Madeline retreats back into the house.

"I'll drop you off. I can go home, /finally/. Unless you want to do something /else/ stupid and get shot again? Cyrus was right about that, at least."

“Me being shot was not a part of the plan! And stop bringing Cyrus up. They're nice and you're just being paranoid.”

"Yeah, yeah. I drive, you give directions. And tell that prick on your phone to tear out their /own/ intestines! And die! In the middle of bumfuck nowhere!" He opens the driver's side and gets in.

“Why do you hate them so much? Jimmy continues the moment he gets in the car. “Are you jealous?” He giggles.

"I am old enough to be your father. The only thing I could be jealous of is a corpse so I wouldn't have to listen to you and Cyrus fawn over each other." Gregg starts the car. "The fact that youre all-too trusting of them gives me a horrible feeling that you'll fuck the Crows over."

“Gregg, why would I do that? The crows where the only people who treated me normal! They saved my fucking life!” Jimmy exclaims, now serious.

"I'm not saying you'll do it intentionally! Just for the love of God, keep your damn wits around you! You've never interacted with outsiders unless you were about to kill, so just try to /not/ share club secrets with strangers!" Gregg starts driving, heading towards town.

“Yeah, whatever.” Jimmy ignores him and stares out the window.

"Jimmy."

"Hmph."

"Don't do that. What are you, fucking nine years old?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"You can't be mad at me! I'm looking out for the Crows! And so should /you/, by not revealing our entire foundation a guy you picked off the streets!"

Jimmy rolls his eyes. "I won't, Gregg, geez!"

"You /just/ were! What if they're reporting yoi to the cops because you confessed to beimg The Artist, huh? And they track down your messages to your precise location? What, then?"

"That won't happen!" Jimmy sighs, a dreamy smile plasteres on his face. "Cyrus is a very nice person. They sais I'm 'intriguing'!"

"God, fucking-" Gregg scoffs. "Fine."

Jimmy swerves around to face him, hands clasped over his mouth and stars in his eyes. "Really?"

"...Yes?"

"Thanks, darling! Now I can do whatecer I want without any conseauemces."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"Did Madeline poisom your coffee or something?"

"No," Gregg smiles, "it just tastes like shit. Besides, you'll never change your mind."

“Hey, darling," Jimmy giggles, "at least it wasn't poison again!” He checks his phone for messages, eager at the new string of texts from Cyrus.

>honestly i wouldnt mind popping up at your place unannounced ^w^

>would be fun to see that confident grin wiped off your face :)

>but a fun mystery game where i find you while you give me clues? 

>or getting to surprise you? 

>choices, choices! :/

Jimmy grins and texts back. 

<why can’t we we do both? 

<ill leave little clues at the crime scenes for you to find me ;)

>we shouldnt do both

Jimmy's smile falls.

>Id like to see again as soon as possible

>so why not just drop the theatrics, kitten?

<this ‘kitten’ stuff is adding up how many of your bones im going to break, hun. ;)

>i better rack up my numbers then, kitten!

>suffering violence under your hand would be a privledge~

>how many points do i get for other nicknames? :0 

>and you better live up to your own praise about your delightful crimes! I'll be on the lookout for any of your tricky lil clues~

>maybe i should do something to YOU every time you call me one of your sweet little pet names. Suggestions? ;)

Jimmy rolls his eyes and smiles at the text message.

<i promise. I live up to my self-praise.

<I hope you will get creative with your ‘punishments’ for me ♡

Gregg rolls his eyes and clenches his jaw to avoid saying something snarky. 

(Cyrus is almost sickeningly giddy and squeaks in delight at Jimmys response).

>I'll plan something special for you. 

>and dont worry, i'll save my most lavish punishments just for you, kitten

>'Sweetie pie' is strike one, i'll be keeping count

<dont disappoint me darlin~

<♡

><3

Jimmy puts his phone away, but his thoughts still leech scarlet blush.

Gregg holds back venomous bile because he can't go back on what he just said. "Directions," he strains through grit teeth. “Oh," Jimmy's voice is distant, "I can find my way home, if you can just drop me off here,” he points at a random street corner, not even looking where it is and most certainly not close to his apartment.

"Jimmy, you just got shot, I'm not making you walk!" Gregg sighs, long and dramatic. "And I'm not going to drag you back to Madeline's if you collapse or something!"

“I'm fine! And besides how do /you/k now i dont live by here?”

"Directions. To your house. I dont care if its just a block away from here. I'll drive you up your front porch if I have to."

“Why do you care so much?” He goes to open the car door to hop out.

"Because I don't get points if a Crow dies on my watch."

"Wow," Jimmy rolls his eyes. "So noble."

"You're not walking with an injured leg."

Jimmy opens the door. “It's not /that/ bad, Gregg!” He sighs “I don’t understand why you care so much!”

"Because-!" He stops himself. Feelings were never his forte. •And I'd probably fuck up that conversation• "Holy shit, fine! If you're going to be such a pussy about it, you can limo home!"

Jimmy gets out of the car and shuts the door. He quickly disappears from sight, down the block and into an alleyway. A thick trail of glitter follows, fallen from some part of Jimmy's flashy getup. Gregg's eyes follow him until he disappears, then he starts the car and drives off. •Fucking idiot. God, I hope he doesn't get killed. He'd deserve it with all that recklessness. But, fuck, he better get home safe.• The city flashes by, bright neons and dark shadows. Gregg only seems to see the dark, obstructing his vision and bathing the car in pitch black. •Besides. I don't get points for a Crow death.•

The night air and the sudden calm beings out the intoxication that seems ro oermanently reside in Jimmy. The wall's texture screeches if he touches it, the night sky presses lile a blanket. But he recognizes the sky. And thw walls. He stops when he reaches telhe ens of the alleyway, where it opena up to a freeway in a plain. In the mid-distance, a flash of pink indicates where his dropped worm-on-a-string had been all this time. Like a perfect loop, he's back at the scene of the chase. And the cops are none the wiser. Through nighttime delirium, intoxication, and pain, he grins. He's won the battle. And he hopes he doesn't survive the war. •It wouldn't be as dramatic.•

#Red tinted glasses #Writeblr #Gore #Murder #Violence #Surgery #Masochism #mod robbie #Chapters

[wiltkingart]

Hi, I have an unimportant message for you - I love ur OC Miller a lot. You made him so handsome. Masculine but he's got this flair to him that i love. I'm a girl that likes guys so this is maybe not who you wanna hear this from, but he's like exactly my type lol. He's the white haired anime boy of my dreams, u get me? I wish more guys IRL had his level of fashion sense. The spikes are a nice bonus too, love me a man with some sharp parts

this message is of great importance to me. and i do get you! part of my agenda here as a bi gnc guy is to express my own masculinity, thru my ocs and my art in a general sense because the current confines of masculinity (especially in regards to fashion) make me feel like a rabid dog in a cage. theres no joy in the colors or the fits, no sexuality, no fun. and i reject that. completely. and while i am making more of an effort in my daily life to dress nonconventionally, in a way that feels real to me, for my own sanity, my ocs are still a big outlet for my personal self expression. especially miller! so it makes me really happy whenever people tell me they like him, no matter who you are or what your sexuality is.

#a few weeks ago my cis guy physical therapist complimented my boots and asked me where i got them #didnt have it in me to tell him i got them from the women's section at marshals #but it goes to show that guys Do want to dress in more fun ways. it can just be scary or daunting #to be percieved as Less Man for wearing pants that arent plain sweats or jeans. or god forbid painting your nails #but once you stop caring about it theres so much joy and excitement to be found in clothes! that fit you! instead of an arbitrary ideal! #and you dont have to be gay or even bi to wear (or want to wear) patterns or colors i promise you #and dont even get me started on fabrics. #you dont have to look farther that the 70s or 80s to see how interesting men's clothes can be #sorry. you kind of opened a can of worms with this message i just think about this A Lot