#take a shot every time i say hope

[e-spexially]

cowboy like me

pairing: billy the kid x lucy gray baird

summary: "sure would have been nice to meet you under different circumstances."

ib: these two edits by @lg.baird and @beatrixsfx on tiktok

note: this is purely self-indulgent, I saw these and felt SO angsty and inspired :(

The saloon was nicer than most that Billy had entered in the past. Smoke danced in the air and the room was dimly lit by the oil lamps placed on each table, giving the entire room a dreamy haze.

They even had live music. Not the kind where drunk men played the piano or gave some warbled rendition of an old folk tune, either. No, up on stage was a band. Two young women and two young men, playing instruments that appeared well cared for. The one singing looked to be the youngest of the bunch, blonde and fresh with her vocals.

It was a fast-paced melody and the already tipsy men and women of the saloon were on their feet in the small clearing between the tables that served as a dancefloor.

Billy walked up to the bar and bought himself a drink, trying to blend into the crowd. The music was a breath of fresh air from the constant drone of the outdoors he had been spending his time in lately. Being on the run was tiring and it was nice to finally sit in a real chair, surrounded by other people.

As he hunched over his drink, considering a game of poker, the song ended with a wave of applause, and the blonde girl spoke out to the crowd.

"Alright, y'all! For this next number, help me give a big, warm welcome to my cousin, Lucy Gray Baird!"

The blonde's energy was infectious and her request drew more applause from the crowd, even Billy. He supposed the group must have been well known, but he was out of the loop these days.

Then something unexpected happened. Onstage, walked one of the prettiest girls Billy had ever laid eyes on. Lucy Gray Baird was a dark-haired beauty, with a sweet smile and an air of confidence. His attention was hers without the girl even having to try. But then again, so was everyone else's. More applause rang out as she shot the crowd a smile, delicately cradling her shining, black guitar.

"Evenin', everyone!" She said to them in a melodic voice. "I hope y'all are enjoyin' the night so far. For this song, I'm gonna slow things down a bit and give everyone the chance to hold that special someone a little bit closer."

Billy felt the need to sit up straighter, to show that he was giving her performance the respect it deserved. And it truly did.

Everyone's born as clean as a whistle

As fresh as a daisy and not a bit crazy

Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing

As rough as a briar,

Like walking through fire

As Lucy Gray sang, he realized his father had been wrong before. The stars weren't a reflection of his own light, but hers. He'd spent countless hours staring at the night sky and he'd never met anyone that made him feel the way that view did. Not until tonight.

People were dancing, just as she had hoped. They held each other and swayed to the simple tune. She watched them proudly with a bright smile, as though her intention was merely to create the noise that seemed to move them, not be their sole focus. But he just couldn't help focusing on her, he couldn't look away. Her dark eyes scanned the crowd and Billy felt his heart skip a beat.

This world, it's dark

This world, it's scary

I've taken some hits, so no wonder I'm wary

It's why I need you

You're as pure as the driven snow

That's when they locked gazes with each other and the haze of the room matched the one he was feeling. Lucy Gray smiled a little wider when this happened and something inside him wondered if she knew what he was feeling. Did she? Or, better yet, did she feel it too?

The song continued and then ended, too quickly. She sang two more, their eyes meeting again and again. His drink was gone, the poker game long forgotten as well. Once her set reached its close, she immersed herself in the crowd with another young woman, the others onstage keeping the atmosphere going. Billy watched Lucy Gray being praised by many for her songs and smiled to himself.

She really deserved it. His leg bounced anxiously and the air felt electric, like something was fixing to happen. He knew what Jesse would say if he was here.

"Better make your move now, kid. 'Fore someone beats you to it."

Billy inhaled sharply, trying to give himself a boost of confidence. He suddenly felt thankful that he decided to wash before leaving the rooming house that night. Giving the bar a quick tap, he rose to his feet and made his way through the crowd to her.

She was in the middle of speaking to the women about her dress when he walked up, excusing himself and hoping she didn't find him rude for interrupting.

"Good evening." He held his hat against his chest. Lucy Gray stared up at him with a curious glimmer in her eye, catching sight of the pistol around his waist momentarily. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping I could buy you a drink?"

She looked pleasantly sheepish. Exchanging a quick word with the other women, she nodded.

"I don't see why not."

He breathed a sigh of relief and gestured for her to go first, setting his hat back atop his head. He didn't have much money left, but spending it on her felt like the right choice.

Purchasing two whiskeys, he handed her one and watched as she perched on the stool.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name," she spoke, taking a sip.

"Right," said the man, wiping his hand on his pants before extending it, as if he were afraid to get her dirty. "I'm Billy."

Lucy Gray smiled and shook his hand. It sent a jolt right through him and he averted his eyes for a moment. She stared at him thoughtfully, resting the whiskey glass against her shoulder.

"Are you enjoyin' the show, Billy?"

"Oh yeah," he replied, hoping he didn't sound too eager. "I liked that first song of yours, the one about the snow."

She looked pleased by this and he could tell she liked speaking about her music.

"Really? I'm glad to hear it!" Sipping her whiskey, she had an excited, almost nostalgic look in her eye. "I wrote that one a few months back when we were still up north. It snowed all the time up there and it just got me to feelin' inspired."

Billy leaned against the bar, taking in the smokiness of her voice. He could listen to her talk forever.

"Up north? You travel a lot?"

Lucy Gray nodded.

"Us Covey travel wherever the fancy takes us," she said. "We spent a good while doin' shows to keep ourselves fed and moved around until we needed more money. Then this fella named Jones picked us up somewhere in Sacramento and said he'd help us get our very own tour through the lower United States."

Moving from state to state by choice was a luxury he couldn't fathom. Ever since he was a boy, moving had been about survival. Billy thought he'd like to live a life like Lucy Gray's, to see the world of his own accord and not because he was running from something. He finished off his whiskey.

"That sounds nice, just bein' free," he mused, mainly to himself. This earned a head tilt from her and her mouth turned up in a small smile.

"I figured cowboys were as free as they come." That made him laugh and he set the glass down.

"I'm no cowboy."

"Well, you sure look the part," joked Lucy Gray. She looked around the saloon at the crowd and then her eyes found the dancefloor. "Hey, how 'bout a dance?"

Billy looked over his shoulder at the patrons slow dancing, feeling a bit more bold on account of the drinks he'd had. He glanced back at her and held out his hand.

"I don't see why not."

She drank the last of her whiskey before letting him lead her out onto the floor. He pulled her a bit closer, his hand finding her waist and hers his shoulder. Something about her demanded to be seen, to be admired. He might not have been the smartest when it came to women, but he knew from the start that she had all the control. What's more, he wasn't even sure it was intentional, but he knew he liked it.

As they danced, she studied his face a bit more.

"You're that outlaw, aren't you?" Billy felt his face flush and looked around for a moment before she laughed. "Don't worry, I wouldn't say anythin'. Not before I heard your story, anyways."

"My story?"

"Sure, everyone's got one." He pondered this for a moment, giving her a shrug.

"S'not exactly the kind people like to hear," he admitted. "It's got lots of sad bits."

"Well, those kinds of stories make the best songs." Lucy Gray looked up at him through her eyelashes. He wondered what his life would sound like through her pen, if she'd be able to take something dark like that and make it beautiful.

Maybe he'd tell her another time. He hoped there would be another time.

"I'll tell it to you someday." It felt like a promise, mainly to himself, that he'd see her again.

"I hope you will." She seemed content to let it rest at that for now. "Those posters don't do you justice, y'know? You're much more handsome up close."

A soft blush appeared on his face and he laughed it off.

"I'm sorry you had to see those, they're not exactly a likeness."

"You're right," she said gently. "I expected someone much scarier, the way people talk about you."

Billy's heart sank a bit at that. He hoped she hadn't heard anything too bad and if it was the truth being passed around, he only hoped she wouldn't judge him for it.

"I hope you'll give me a chance to prove that m'not so scary."

"Don't worry, gorgeous, I don't scare easily." He chuckled and she leaned in a bit. "This is the part where you spin me."

"Yes ma'am," the man drawled, obliging by holding onto her fingertips and twirling her around. Lucy Gray moved gracefully and she gave off the scent of fresh linen with a hint of wildflowers. He imagined her traveling through a field of them somewhere, carrying her guitar in one hand and a suitcase of all her belongings in the other.

What did she take with her? Were there pictures, family heirlooms she held dear enough to carry on her travels? Billy thought back to his mother's gold ring that rested in his pack back in the room he was renting. Did Lucy Gray have anything that precious to her?

She giggled as she spun back into him, bringing that field of flowers right with her. He maneuvered her around into a smooth circle around him before wrapping an arm around her torso.

"You're not bad on the dancefloor for an outlaw!" She said.

"All that time on the run, you get good on your feet," he joked. He savored the laughter that left her chest. It felt genuine and warm, just like her.

The song ended and she went to hold his hands in her own, smiling up at him as the crowd began thinning, the blonde on stage announced that the band would be heading out for the night.

"Thank you for this, Billy," beamed Lucy Gray. "It's just been wonderful."

He nodded earnestly, hoping he had made an impression.

"No, thank you. I can't remember the last time I had a drink and a dance with a nice girl, especially one as pretty as you." Her eyes sparkled at that, almost like she didn't want it to end. He knew he didn't. "Could I walk you out?"

She agreed and they returned to the stage to retrieve Lucy Gray's guitar, along with the bottles of whiskey given by the owner for their work. Then they headed out behind the saloon with the rest of the band, the others buzzing in excitement about the energy of the audience.

"These Texans sure do like their dancing. And their bars!"

"I'll say, you see that man spinnin' his wife around? I thought they were both liable to topple over the way he was drinking!

They were walking in the direction of a small cabin that resided some yards away from the building, a lamp left on the dirt by the front step. It looked cozier than the rooming house for sure.

Billy stopped just as the band piled into the cabin, leaving the door open for Lucy Gray. He could hear the chatter continue from inside.

"Will I see you again? I'd sure like to hear another one of your songs."

"You might see me around. If you're on the run like you say you are, we'll cross paths again."

He hoped so. God, did he hope so.

"You have a lovely voice, my mother would have liked to hear you sing." Lucy Gray sensed the twinge of sadness in the tone and pressed her lips into a thin line.

"They're never far, the ones we love." She studied him for a moment before plucking the striped feather from her dark curls and holding it out to him. "Here, take this. Add some life into that hat of yours."

He huffed in amusement at the feather but took it and tucked it into the band of his old hat.

"How do I look?"

"Like a cowboy." Lucy Gray nodded approvingly. "I hope you could return it to me someday soon?"

"Oh, you bet."

"Good," she said. "You still owe me that story, William H. Bonney."

McCarty, Billy wanted to tell her. His name was McCarty.

"And then you still owe me a song," he replied lightly, deciding against it. Lucy Gray nodded, looking wistful.

"You got yourself a deal." She held her hand out to him and they stayed there for a moment, hands joined. Could he say goodbye? Did he even have a choice? Lucy Gray was free and he wasn't. Sure, he could have joined her on her travels, but no good came with moving alongside an outlaw.

No, none of that. For tonight, he'd let her go and pray that fate would bring them together again.

"Good night, Lucy Gray." He spoke first. She smiled up at him and gave his hand a single shake.

"Good night, Billy."

After that, he watched her walk into the cabin and shut the door, but not before giving him a final wink. Once she was out of sight, he let out a deep sigh. It felt like he'd just woken up from a dream, the good kind that you hope you have again.

Feeling his boldness leaving him and the night's activities taking their toll, he turned on his heel and started for the rooming house, humming Lucy Gray's song all the while.

#lucy gray baird #billy the kid #billy the kid x lucy gray baird #billy the kid x reader #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #tom blyth #rachel zegler #tom blyth x reader #coriolanus snow #needed this for personal reasons #take a shot every time i say hope #💌

[pigeonxp]

also it is canon that the federation is sending lovejoy out on tour, so they r CANONICALLY the reason why q!wilbur is gone. ALSO, i do 100% think that tallulah has every right to be mad and upset by the situation (because lets be honest, its an incredibly shitty position to be in), but the fandom getting mad for her is beyond annoying, especially because in the beginning, q!wil TOLD HER OUTRIGHT (audience included!!!!) that he was not going to be there for a very long time. he made it crystal clear to everyone that he was going to be gone, so much so that he was unsure if he wanted to adopt tallulah because he knew he couldnt provide for her what she needed, and tallulah understood and still wanted him to be her father and adopt her. EVERYONE was aware of what was going to happen, so even though he has not been able to physically be there for her, it is unfair to say that he is a deadbeat and a shit dad because he literally explicitly stated that he wasnt going to be around much. also, in his last stream he confirmed that q!wilbur has canonically been sending monthly letters to her even tho him as cc!wilbur isnt able to physically write letters so the idea that hes been zero contact with her is also fucking stupid (i wish that they mentioned this in the lore more tbh because it is continuing the narrative that hes a horrible parent). ALSO the narrative that he doesnt provide is stupid anyway because he literally provides for the entire island which is why he is away in the first place (canonically). its not even that he doesnt log on in canon, its that he is literally being SENT AWAY. like omfg STOP VILLAINIZING HIM JFC

#i am a tallulah lover first and foremost and just because she is bitter right now does not mean she does not love her father #she misses him and this is completely valid and fair #but i hope at some point he is able to come back and tell her that he was busy because of the feds sending him away #not because he didnt want to be there #because we ALL KNOW that he wants to be there #he is just not able to be. #new game take a shot every time i say “canonically” or “canon” LMAOOO #anyway rant over #for now at least #i will always defend wilbur characters idk #especially with the amount he is mischaracterized i have made it my personal mission to debunk all bad character rumors #this is me avoiding writing an essay for school #q!wilbur #q!tallulah #qsmp #qsmp wilbur #qsmp tallulah

[mangora]

So I haven’t been fulfilling my obligations as resident Scike enjoyer recently and I finally have a night with no coursework due, so here’s a meta analysis post about my interpretations of Scott and Mike’s characters, primarily as told through their relationship with one another. This isn’t necessarily accurate, some of these are definitely reaches or headcanons with little basis in reality, it’s not like a serious essay; this is just for fun since I find their relationship (or I guess, my idea of their relationship) fascinating 👍

So, naturally we start with episode one, where we’re introduced to Scott and Mike as well as the other generation two characters. Scott, off the bat, is unfriendly and untrusting; even before Jo says anything, he eyes her with malcontent. Scott looks at Mike with a seemingly annoyed expression when he’s introduced next. Mike, in contrast to Scott, is smiling and taking in the view. Scott notices immediately when Zoey nudges him and stares at her arm; I don’t think this demonstrates any sort of feelings for Mike on Scott’s part, yet at least, but rather it seems to display his social awareness. He’s already trying to gauge both Mike and Zoey’s personalities and dynamic— he could also be judging them, or a mix of that and the aforementioned gauging. Regardless, Scott’s already shown to be suspicious of others.

Meanwhile, Mike’s shown to form an attachment right away, specifically to Zoey. Their very minor interaction causes him to smile and espouse that the view is beautiful, though he’s obviously regarding her. This causes him to let his guard down, along with Zoey, which leaves both susceptible to being shoved out of the way by Lightning. Take note of this, as Mike’s desire to form stable relationships becomes a hallmark of his character. The dichotomy between Scott being untrusting when he should be and Mike being trusting when he shouldn’t be will become a running theme as well.

The next time we see them both is after the intro, when Scott refuses to help Cameron and calls him a “spaz”. This is contrasted with Mike being too kind with Zoey when they should be helping Staci out of the water, which causes him to be pulled underwater by her and could have led to them both drowning. This not only aligns with our theme of trust vs lack thereof, but also Mike’s goodwill vs Scott’s lack thereof again. It seems that what Scott needs, Mike supplies to a harmful excess; however, as we will touch on later, both of these incidents with Mike only occurred when there was another person there (Zoey) who he sought to impress or bond with. Right now all of these exist in an unjoined microcosm, but once again, scenes like this repeat throughout the season. 

Another scene worth noting is Mike’s confessional directly after. Mike’s already attached himself to Zoey, admiring her kindness and immediately jumping to the idea of a relationship with her. We’ve already established that Mike wants human connection, but here we also see the added element of insecurity; he already fears rejection for his “quirk”, which we will later discover is his DID (called “Multiple Personality Disorder” in the show; I am not fucking calling it that). He doesn’t state it to the audience yet, showing that maybe he’s not as trusting with people who he can’t directly connect with; even though he probably knows that he will inevitably be outed to them, for lack of a better term. Since he’s insecure about this, and because he says he hopes his “condition doesn’t ruin anything for [him] again”, we can draw the reasonable conclusion that Mike’s probably been rejected for his DID before, whether by potential romantic interests or by his peers more generally (with the added context of season five this could also be referring to how Mal got the system sent to jail, but honestly I’m not sure if the writers planned that far in advance so we’re not really gonna talk about it). It could also be possible that one of Mike’s motives for joining the show, besides the money, was to make friends or find a partner in a new group of people who didn’t know this detail of his life, and to do that by hiding his DID. Once again, this will seem like less of a reach as we continue to see this pattern unfold; it’s good to establish now the idea that Mike is heavily concerned with interpersonal relationships and self-image so we can continue compounding on that thesis as we go on. 

Next time we see either Mike or Scott is on the beach. Staci is talking about her family and Mike is obviously ignoring her in favor of looking at Zoey. This shows that while Mike is nice, he might not view everyone as an equal opportunity for human connection; he gets attached to Zoey instantly and regards her above everyone else, quick to establish a clear-cut and intense relationship in his mind with someone he barely knows. When Zoey even implies that they could become friends, he appears overjoyed. He’s so excited, and for what? Put a pin in this. 

Our focus shifts back to Scott briefly in the team formation scene before the first challenge. Scott and Lightning smile at each other (or maybe generally? It’s unclear if Scott’s looking at him) as they’re put on the same team. His smile fades when Brick shouts “Sir, yes sir!”, but rather than looking maybe annoyed or angry, he looks uncharacteristically concerned. His smile returns when B shoves Brick, then changes to annoyance when B’s put on his team. There are two major explanations for this. The first and most likely is that Scott’s scoping out his teammates and competition; he’s happy that Lightning’s on his team because he’s not very smart, then concerned and happy again when Brick’s put on the other team because he’s loyal and physically capable, and then he’s upset that B’s on his team because B’s intelligent and looks (is?) strong/fast. However, on the other hand, Scott’s expressions seem oddly earnest, especially considering how he behaves throughout the rest of the series. Maybe he’s secretly glad that Lightning’s here because he enjoys his company. Something that really caught my eye was Scott’s concern for Brick. Brick’s obviously military (likely due to family circumstances), and in season five, we learn that Scott’s dad is ex-military. Scott might be slightly worried because he knows what the military is like, or what military parents are like. We’ll talk more about Scott’s potential home situation later, but I dunno, something about him in this scene seems weirdly tame considering how he is normally; he seems oddly worried and not about the right people, like all things considered it would be best for his plan if his team was weak but he seems constantly annoyed by the additions of people like Dakota and Sam. 

Skipping over more of Scott being annoyed at people and Mike being anxious, when the teams get their names, Mike is the first to ask about the references to chemical waste. Though he’s very likely one of many to notice this, the fact he asked first and without hesitation shows that he’s both worried and quick to observe things. He continues to appear concerned by the growling of the “monster”, but seems to hold back from showing this, staying still with a worried expression. He might be trying to keep it cool to protect his image; or, maybe he’s trying to keep others from worrying as well, considering that Cameron’s already freaking out. When it gets closer, he holds Zoey in his arms. He has an urge to protect those he cares about, even if he has little reason to care about them yet. 

Later, during the actual challenge, while Jo and Anne Maria are outwardly annoyed by Brick, Mike tries to politely state that this isn’t working. This is the point at which Chester fronts; we learn later that Chester most commonly fronts to deal with frustrating situations. Mike himself cannot express frustration for whatever reason, likely because he’s afraid to. Meanwhile, Scott does his first confessional, where he states that he has a plan that’s sure to take down B (and implied to take down everyone else as well). Scott’s overly confident and expresses frustration with the gleeful notion that all will be handled eventually. Shortly after, Scott smiles as he and the other Toxic Rats overtake the Mutant Maggots; this is odd, as we will later find out that Scott wants his team to lose. This could be an example of him trying not to play his cards too early, but later it becomes apparent that Scott’s quick to snap when he’s upset. Was he perhaps earnestly excited to win as a team and had trouble masking that as well? Perchance (I can just say perchance, because it’s my meta post, and I do what I want). 

It’s worth mentioning now that we’ve covered episode one that Mike and Scott have somewhat inconsistent characterizations; as the series goes on, Mike is more prone to show annoyance or outbursts of fear, while Scott rarely shows genuine happiness when his plans aren’t working out. This could be a result of changing writers, a lack of ideas for one or both of them, or simply them changing and adapting to the game. Make of that what you will; I’ll try to explain things to the best of my ability and puzzle them together in a cohesive analysis, but shit’s a bit wonky. 

In episode two, we finally hear Scott’s plan: he’s intent on making his team lose the challenges to “lull the other team into a false sense of security, then pick them off one by one”. This is an interesting concept, considering how fucking stupid it is: if Scott loses most or all of his team and the Maggots continue working together, that security will become real, they will dominate him and any allies he might form (which he does not seem intent to do), and he will lose near immediately unless he’s already planning on how to split them up, assuming any of them would fall for his tricks. However, Scott himself is a little dumb, so this is fitting. He’s so unwilling to work with other people that he seems to have tricked himself into thinking that he can do anything by himself and manipulate people with no outside help. This is unrealistic, and gives the viewer a perfect insight into Scott’s antisocial and bleak worldview. He’s so unwilling to trust people that he hasn’t even figured out how to fake a relationship with any of them for his own benefit. 

In the scene where the teams are walking to the Bay of Dismay, Zoey and Mike have their first proper conversation, and it is approximately thirteen seconds long. Zoey brings up Total Warriors Two, and Mike is pleased that she knows about it. He states that if she likes kickboxing as well, he might have to marry her. First of all, film-enjoyer and kickboxer Mike real as fuck; but more importantly, this is another example of Mike attaching himself to Zoey incredibly quickly and incredibly closely. He’s desperate to be liked by her, desperate to be inseparable from her even. Unlike Scott who’s pushing everyone away without a plan, he’s seemingly nudging closer to someone without a plan or a concern for her actual, well, personality. I don’t think this is manipulative or weird at all, to be clear; and Zoey was likely trying to relate to him because he also clearly enjoys his company. It’s just endlessly intriguing how he’s already endeared herself to her. 

Once the game actually begins and the Maggots are asked which one of them wet their pants, Mike’s the one to pipe up with surprise, almost making fun of the person in question. Knowing that Mike’s afraid of his own secrets being revealed in this challenge, this clues us in that, while Mike might not have bad intentions, he does partake in judging (and depending on how you interpret his words, shaming) people for their own secrets. He might, to a degree, lack social knowledge (“this might make the person uncomfortable” etc.), empathy, or both. In this right, he’s somewhat selfish. Throughout the season, actually, he continues to show inklings of selfishness, even if they aren’t born out of malice. 

After this, the Rats are dunked into the water. Scott’s bitten and dragged out of the stands by Fang, and his team does nothing to rescue him. This upsets Scott, who then refuses to do the rest of the challenge. While this might be part of his plan to lose, it seems that Scott was genuinely upset and offended; he expected his team to help him when he would never do the same for them. More selfishness. Anne Maria seconds Scott, and Mike’s quick to join her since he’s worried about his own secrets being discovered— something that he insists to them isn’t true. I don’t have to explain this, I don’t think; Mike and Scott are alike in their selfish desires for preservation. The thing is that Mike backs down after Jo becomes upset with him, while Scott carries on. So Mike does care about avoiding conflict and being invulnerable to his whole team, but with Zoey specifically, he needs to be liked; not just regarded with neutrality, which appears to be his goal with other people; and he is afraid of being judged, or seen in a negative light.

During the challenge, Scott attempts sabotage for the first time, which fails. He tries to keep the rat from B, and is outwardly antagonistic towards him, which could have easily been used against him. This is another action that Scott seems to take strategically, but barely considers the consequences of. He just needs to be mean, apparently; he can’t control the urge to sabotage or insult, even when it would hurt him.

In the same challenge, Cameron catches Svetlana fronting, and asks Mike about it, which he denies entirely. The Maggots win, which Scott, again, seems genuinely upset about. This is where I’m laying out my theory officially that Scott takes these losses personally but is convincing himself that they’re sacrifices, rather than him genuinely not caring because it’s part of his plan. Maybe he knows that he could be on the chopping block every time and is bracing himself; maybe he enjoys winning each individual challenge for a sense of glory but won’t admit it to himself because it doesn’t work with this bullshit Lone Wolf plan he has. Either way, this brings us to episode three.

In episode three, Sam flings his breakfast into Scott’s face. Instead of pretending it’s okay, Scott throws a spoon at Sam. He then calls him a wimp for complaining about his food. Aside from this being another example of Scott being unable to mask his feelings for the greater good, this leads into the point of Scott’s home life. Total Drama as a series is full of bits that are normal in its cartoon universe, but are disturbing or terrifying taken in a real-world context; look no further than the season’s baseline concept of “we put teenagers on a nuclear island”. Scott living on a dirt farm is one of these things; having to eat dirt is bad in a literal context, and worse when adding the idea of it being a metaphor for not having food to eat. Scott is, quite literally, dirt poor; we’ll talk more about his audition tape later, but in it, we also see that Scott’s house is infested with rats and in a state of complete disarray. In season five, we learn that his father is ex-military and his mother’s a waitress; and since they own a farm, they did or do have two jobs. Scott’s also generally a country boy stereotype, and country folk aren’t exactly known for being well-off. We can almost guarantee that he grew up in a rough economic situation, and has ways of coping with or appreciating it while still working fervently to escape it. Take that for what you will.

Following this scene, Mike admits to the audience that he has DID with a shameful tone. He rushes to explain that he tries to control his alters, as if he needs to or should, but that they don’t listen to him. Mike not only lacks control, but is also attempting to control genuine other people, all for them inconveniencing him and making him worry about being judged. This is another point at which we must acknowledge that Mike is selfish, but also selfish with a sympathetic purpose; he doesn’t want to be judged, and doesn’t want to be alone. When confronted by Jo about Svetlana, he lies and says she’s a character, but fails to actually mimic Svetlana. He’s either a bad actor, doesn’t know Svetlana that well, or both. 

During the first half of the challenge, Scott shouts at Lightning to shut his mouth, once again showing how hard it is for him to hide his true feelings. Meanwhile, Mike helps Zoey up a ledge instead of helping himself, showing that he knows when to actually be selfless as long as it benefits someone he cares about. Once again, we go back to Scott as the Rats win the challenge; and Scott is visibly and audibly upset. He doesn’t bother hiding it now, so why would he before? Another point for the “Scott is genuinely excited to win/mad about losing” theory. When his team is mad at him for picking the bad snow fort, Scott acknowledges that this is bad, but rationalizes that it’s part of the plan. Dude, he has no fucking idea how this plan is going to work, does he?

Now we get to the point where Mike finally acknowledges Scott, and tells Zoey to watch out because Mike thinks he’s “psycho”. Mike is the first person to bring up how Scott’s acting irrationally or untrustworthy verbally; and considering they aren’t on the same team, that means Mike must have been, at some point, watching him. As we mentioned earlier, he’s observant, and will bring something up either if he feels it’ll be uncontroversial or if he’s very concerned. Before Scott’s other team caught onto him, Mike did, and before they became cautious or seriously concerned, Mike did. Why? Does Mike have experience picking out these types of people? Was Mike, for some reason, interested in Scott either out of fear or admiration, and therefore paid closer attention to him than anybody else? Mike’s not a very strategic person in the game, but he is a bit strategic and wary socially, especially if he’s afraid of the other person not liking him. Did Mike view Scott as a threat? Maybe something more? Why? Did he recognize Scott’s selfish or secretive behaviors, maybe in himself? These are all, certainly, questions. Perchance. 

In his scene with Dawn in the snow fort, Scott argues with her about how he’s not going to listen to the snowball, and says he’s full of negative energy; this causes a snowball to explode in his face. Scott’s unwilling to listen to others, even if it spells his own downfall. After this, Dawn claims that Scott wasn’t held enough as a child, which he stops to think about and is shown to be greatly uncomfortable with in the confessional. Dawn has previously been accurate about the home lives of other players (Zoey and Dakota), so we can assume she’s right. In which case, this is “Scott has a bad home life: part two”. Scott’s parents, at some point, did not meet his emotional needs; whether this was just in early childhood or whether it stayed consistent is unclear, but it’s likely that some of his behavioral issues would have been addressed earlier if his parents were attentive following his most formative years. Because his parents didn’t show him enough affection, he likely turned to either methods of garnering attention elsewhere or through other means, diverted that attention towards desiring victory and/or control for his own self satisfaction divorced from the opinions of other people, and/or a mix of both. We can also reasonably assume that Scott’s poor home life could go beyond simply emotional unfulfillment, since Scott seems worried at the notion of her knowing that, and likely wouldn’t be as concerned if he had nothing else to hide. 

Dawn later seems to compliment Scott, calling him a “beetle whisperer”. He turns up his nose and leaves. This could be because he finds the notion of beetle whispering ridiculous, but I just like to think that Scott’s not used to getting compliments and doesn’t know how to react. Just because that’s kinda more wholesome and Dott’s kinda baller. 

At this point, B melts the Maggots’ fort, and Jo asks Mike to do the “Svetlana thing”. Under pressure, Mike begins to panic a bit, unsure of how to escape the lie he’s found himself in, almost confessing; Cameron helps Svetlana front, saving him from this situation, and Jo regards Svetlana positively. This is just important to me divorced from Scike because not enough of you talk about Jolana. Moving on, Scott notices B melting the Maggots’ fort and momentarily panics, before melting the Rats’ fort instead and blaming B; while Scott has committed sabotage and swayed the team vote before, this is the first time his sabotage has actively caused the team to lose. You’d figure he’d be celebrating, but we don’t see that. After the loss, Mike goes to the confessional and worries about Vito showing up; we can assume that Vito is the hardest to control and/or would lend the most to affecting Mike’s social life, hence why he states that the situation has gotten worse and seems so on-edge. Scott’s finally gaining control in the game, while Mike appears to be losing it. Scott convinces his team to vote for B, and lies without a problem; Scott, it seems, is good at lying through his words, but has a hard time controlling how he emotes physically. Mike is the same; when he lies or hides information, his voice and face/actions don’t seem to mirror the stories he puts together on the fly. Mike’s not a malicious liar, he in fact has every reason to lie about his condition, if you consider lies of omission to be lies at all; but if you do, he is, in fact, a liar, and it takes one to know one. My Mutual Understanding clownery is all coming together. 

In episode four, we mostly see extra examples of previous behavior from Scott: annoyance at his teammates (mainly Sam), selfishness and a lack of consideration for others (not helping Sam up and not caring when his teammates go missing), and being oddly happy over success when he shouldn’t be (excited to find the key). At this point, I began considering the possibility that Scott only likes losing when he’s in control of the loss. To fail when he’s trying to succeed obviously frustrates him, but to fail when he’s trying to fail is a success at failing. In less words, it's the need for power and control, again. Maybe he likes to win sometimes for entertainment, or a sense of accomplishment; he might just do it because he can sometimes. In which case, Scott’s a bit more unpredictable than first thought; he does things largely with one goal in mind, but can push that goal off or come up with other shorter term objectives whenever he feels like it. He’s consistently driven, but the thing he’s driving towards is subject to fluctuate when he gets bored or competitive or wants to feel in control.

On the Maggot side, Mike and company are obviously unhappy with and wary of Jo, but none of them say anything. Mike does, however, tell Cameron that he did a good job. It’s possible that after the last episode, when the two worked together along with Zoey to get up the hill, Mike has started seeing Cameron as another potential friend, as he rarely interacted with Cameron before, and we know they will continue to interact more in future episodes. Zoey says he’s “always encouraging Cameron”, implying that he does this off-screen as well, since (correct me if I’m wrong) this is the first time Mike has directly encouraged Cameron specifically. Mike says that Zoey’s all he thinks about when he’s in control, then laughs nervously, as if he’s afraid this joke is too personal or unrelatable or odd. When Zoey goes missing, Mike notices immediately, and begins to panic; the person he’s most attached to here, his only real friend right now, has just left him alone, and the anxiety is all-consuming. He’s worried about her, and probably also scared of being left alone with the rest of the team, who he’s not as close to. I’m going to draw the line here and say that I think Mike might have social anxiety, just in my personal opinion as someone who also has social anxiety. He’s hyper-aware, afraid of what others think of him, and heavily attached with one or two people. He’s also, apparently, very loyal and protective. He abandons the rest of the group to find Zoey despite the challenge, and is relentless when looking for her in a way that no one else in the challenge has been or will be later.

When Brick goes missing, Mike is concerned for him, as are Cameron and Anne Maria; it’s unclear whether this is because they care for him, they’re scared of missing as well, or a mixture of the two. When Anne Maria stands up to Jo for having a bad attitude, Mike also finds the courage to join her. Having someone who’ll agree with him or make the first move once again gives him a sense of confidence to voice his opinion and, assuming he had Brick in mind like Anne Maria, defend the people he (possibly) cares about without as much fear. Shortly after, he injures himself looking for Zoey; once again, he puts those he cares about above himself, but himself over the layman. 

After Vito fronts for a while, Mike suddenly takes over when he hears Zoey cry out for help and attempts to save her instead of winning. His care for others (Zoey specifically but he could generally be concerned for everyone considering the state of affairs [big spider]) triumphs his need for victory, which again lends credence to the theory that he’s on Total Drama for social reasons more so than monetary ones. In the meantime, Scott’s unabashedly upset about winning the challenge, but again, appears concerned for Brick when he begins crying. When Brick’s switched to the Toxic Rats, Mike, Cameron, and Anne Maria are visibly shocked and upset, showing that they probably did genuinely care for him, making it more possible that loyalty to Brick factored into him standing up to Jo earlier.

In episode five, we start with Scott having a nightmare about a shark (Fang). He’s soon woken up by Brick’s alarm clock, though he’s not grateful for this; in fact, he begins punching the alarm clock as a demonstration of what he’s going to do to Brick later. Is it possible, then, that Scott would rather live in a nightmare, a place of strife and fear, than in a reality where he’s experienced a harmless transgression? Per freaking chance. Shortly after, Scott begins stealing from other players to frame Brick. It’s unclear whether this is because he’s mad at Brick for the alarm clock incident, or whether he recognizes Brick as a weak link on the team. Either way, this is probably the most premeditation we’ve seen from Scott, as his plan continues to develop throughout the episode, versus how he normally takes an action right after coming up with it to immediate success or failure. 

During the challenge, Scott tells Brick to prove his loyalty to the team. There are many reasons he might have done this. One is because it’s simply fun to him; he might like seeing Brick squirm. Another is to gauge his actual loyalty and scope out his strengths/weaknesses to exploit them later. Once again, this could be a combination of the two; Scott doesn’t think highly of Brick, but he seems amused by him being a “doofus”. And after this, we see another instance of Scott ragging on someone (Sam) for being bad at the game despite that working to his advantage. It’s probably another instance of hubris: something along the lines of “I could do better than that; I won’t, but I could”. 

Back to Mike, we see an example of him outright lying. Once again, I don’t blame him or necessarily think this makes him a bad person, but he is outwardly dishonest with Zoey when he claims that he just “gets so deep into character that he [doesn’t] know what [he’s doing]”. He promises to stop playing characters if Zoey wants him to, even though he can’t do that, and tells her she’s the most amazing girl in the world. His love for Zoey triumphs over his logic and planning for the future. He’s so desperate to be loved by her that he doesn’t even consider how to make that happen. This is similar to how Scott’s hatred for people or situations trumps his ability to consider consequences, as seen in episode three especially but also throughout the series. Both of them, despite trying to remain calculated and in control, are often so blinded by their emotions that they act or speak on a whim. 

It’s at this point that I must inform you that I forgot that Scott accused Brick of stealing while he was underwater, making that his motivation for sending Brick down there. However, I do stand by the point that Scott’s also a bit of a sadistic little freak and just likes being mean, because he is. Sailing along, I also find it interesting how Scott has to whittle when he starts getting bored; another addition to the point that he’s impulsive at times. And returning to Mike, Dawn claims that Mike “likes her a lot” and “it’s all over his aura”. And now it’s at this point that I am becoming increasingly aware that Mike’s kind of just Zoey’s plus-one in terms of characterization and this post is pointless in that right, but I’ll be damned if I don’t stretch his actions thin enough to give him an actual personality, and then do the same for Scott, and then make them yaoi out. Mike’s a person that cares so deeply for people that it permeates his aura, the very essence of his being; his priority is to love people (Zoey) and be loved by people (Zoey). 

When Scott finds out that his team got the better boat, despite wanting to lose, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to call them “suckers”. Once again, Scott’s goal is glossed over in favor of being a huge bitch to others. This reminded me of how, similar to how Mike’s a lover and wants to be loved, Scott’s a hater, and I think he might want to be hated. When you think about it, Scott hasn’t done a single kind thing to anyone on the island. He’s never upset when people dislike him, and takes every opportunity to be mean or sarcastic. When he does display a positive emotion, he never tells anyone or joins them in expressing it. Scott seemingly detests having positive relationships, perhaps because he’s simply annoyed and inconvenienced by them, but also perhaps because he’s afraid of losing them or feeling like he’s at the whims of another person’s emotions and wills. And in the end, as we know, Scott’s negative relationships will be his downfall, just like how Mike’s unwillingness to break his positive relationships will be his (as well as, y’know, Scott meddling). While it’s probably unintentional, they’re pretty decent foils for one another. 

We get another Scott lore drop when he says that he’s been shooting kitchen rats with his Pappy since he was six. I’m not sure what to make of this really, I just think it’s kind of fucked up to have your kid shoot rats but like I also didn’t grow up in a hunting area so maybe that’s normal and not psychologically damaging. Later, Dawn tells Scott not to fire anymore goals, and he does anyways, to her annoyance. Scott has to know Dawn is suspicious of him, but he can’t resist pissing her off. See, he needs to make people mad; maybe he does this often, maybe he just wants to be on someone’s mind even if it's negative. He eventually tries to get smart about it and he does get her voted off later, but like, hello. This fucking guy. Even though Scott dislikes Dawn, however, he stops Jo and Anne Maria from hurting her after he frames her for stealing. Either he revels in her misery, or he secretly cares about her a bit; this is supported by the fact that she was the only person he didn’t talk about voting off his team in episode four. Anyways, back to Scott being stupid, he openly brags about his knock-off idols as well, when that’s super suspicious; like he really needed to rub salt in the wound that badly. Dawn even refers to him as soulless and sociopathic, and she’s not wrong. He’s so unconcerned with the wellbeing of others, as well as himself. It seems that nothing truly matters to him in the long term, so long as he continues meeting his short term victories in pursuit of what I believe to be an excuse rather than an actual reason. I think that rather than calculating his actions beforehand, Scott acts and creates a justification later, or a justification he can routinely add to. It seems that Scott might’ve picked the Rats because they were close and therefore easy targets. It would make more sense than his actual “plan”. He hurts people and tries to convince himself that he knows why when he probably doesn’t, which is awful but also somewhat tragic. He might not have a real sense of priorities or identity, but tricks himself into thinking otherwise to, once again, give himself more control. Does this make sense? Whatever, we’re like 5763 words in, it doesn't matter anymore. 

Back to party sciking, in episode six, we see the formation of Team Men with Scott, Brick, and Lightning (and later, Sam). Scott’s finally making allies, and he doesn’t seem too upset about it. I think this might clue us into the idea that Scott does want positive relationships, but maybe doesn’t consciously understand that. He doesn’t fight Brick or Lightning on this when he normally would. Later, before the challenge, Mike tries to compliment Zoey, and in the confessional, she tells him to pick a side. And I feel like if you twist that enough we can get into bisexual territory, but I digress. Mike’s upset at his alters for ruining his relationship with Zoey, and while that’s true, he totally forgets to take into account that his alters are also people who also deserve access to the body. It’s more important to Mike that he gets what he wants rather than his alters get what they want, and above all, it's important that he maintains a firm grasp on his life with little to no interference. But he doesn’t seem aware of the fact that his alters are people. It’s almost like the personhood of someone can be diminished in service of his goals, and that he can cognitively distance himself from his actions if they become too (for lack of a better word) scary for him. This might sound familiar because it’s kind of what Scott does as well. They both hurt people in order to get what they want, it’s just that Mike’s unaware that he hurts people but aware of what he wants while Scott’s aware that he hurts people but unaware of exactly what he wants. 

Zoey talks to Mike again, excited to dress a model, and despite the fact that he’s never shown an interest in fashion, Mike smiles. This is because Zoey’s giving him positive attention again. Mf is a bit of a lapdog to be honest. Scott would probably like someone like that, who’s loyal to a fault. The vision is visioning. Anyways, Mike catches a frog, not much to add but he does do that. Fang tries to catch Scott, and Scott notices and catches him with his own trap. He’s observant. Like Mike. They observe each other. Gay style. Scott also grins when Brick proposes a plan and creates an explosive. While Scott’s probably excited to see it blow up in his face, I like to think Scott also admires him a bit, adding to the idea that he secretly likes some aspects of his peers and just won’t express it. Mike tells Anne Maria that the maggot looks bad, which is slightly uncharacteristic of him but okay. He and Anne Maria were friendly before; maybe he’s trying to pull back in service of making Zoey feel better. He’s kind of destroying this sort-of friendship because he likes Zoey so much. Adding to this, he appears excited when Zoey says she wants to dress the maggot. He appears nervous when Jo argues with Anne Maria as well; whether this is because he still cares about Anne Maria despite everything or because he’s afraid of conflict/Jo is unclear. 

It’s at this point that Scott begins manipulating Zoey. Just put a pin in that. Scott and Mike stand next to each other, if that’s anything? They also move similarly, like they’re subconsciously mimicking each other. Do you understand how difficult it is to write about Scike when it's episode six and the most they’ve actually interacted is standing near each other and looking in the same direction? Scott’s impressed by Sam, which is nice; he actually admires something about someone. I think being around people who he subconsciously wants to be friends with is making him slightly more willing to play the game and be nice to people in his own way. He even looks concerned when the yeti throws Sam, and again when the Maggots lose, like he doesn’t want to vote anyone out. 

IT’S FREAKING TEAM SWAP TIME BABY THEY’RE ON THE SAME TEAM WAHOO!! Mike is immediately concerned, the most concerned out of the maggots. This is in part due to him approaching Zoey, but don’t forget, Mike thinks Scott’s off, he notices the things that he does and the way he behaves. Oh BABY he needs to save his friends from this guy, I smell a hero complex brewing. 

In episode seven, the teams go into the mines. About eight minutes in, Mike finds a hat and excitedly explains that he’s always wanted one, to which Scott makes fun of him for being a “hat loving loser”. This is an uncharacteristically lame insult, which makes me think that Scott already has a distaste for Mike and is looking for any reason to insult him; this is probably because he knows that Mike’s onto him, and he doesn’t enjoy the mortifying ideal of being known. And it’ll ruin his plan or whatever. Later in the challenge, when Manitoba and Cameron are separated from Anne Maria, Zoey, and Scott, Scott tries to pin the split on Mike to get him booted. We can assume that Scott sees Mike as the biggest threat on his new team. 

Later, Mike carries Cameron on his back to safety, and says that he hopes Zoey’s okay, despite him also being exposed to radiation. He thanks Cameron for coming back from him and calls him a friend. He’s just, so loyal to them, I don’t think I can say that enough. His friends mean so much to him. And I think Scott could see that and relate to it a bit, because instead of continuing to badger him, he suggests they lose the packs and find Anne Maria. The two of them, along with Zoey and Cameron, all look annoyed at Chris for not helping them, and Scott follows Mike as he leads the team to Anne Maria. I think it’s interesting that Scott stays with them even as the situation becomes life-threatening, and he even shares their surprise when the other team grabs their statue. The two of them run together to grab the statue and they both look happy to find it, even though Scott supposedly wants to lose. Maybe in this life threatening situation, they found an odd sort of comfort in and appreciation for one another, just for a brief moment. And despite knowing what Scott’s like, Mike trusts him with the statue as he runs off to save Zoey and Cameron, putting his own life in danger. This was obviously a mistake, as Scott throws it out, but for a second, it seemed like Scott was happy for him, when it was just him and Mike. 

So Mike starts literally fucking dying defending his friends. Away from Scike, back to Mike prime, he’s about to be killed by the moles, has every chance to run for himself, and his radiation poisoning is getting worse by the second. But he still stayed behind to defend them. The situation got so dangerous that he even tried to tell Zoey about his DID, before Brick saved them. And that’s just??? SO fucking bananas holy shit. He cares about them so much, I dunno what to say. That’s his defining character trait and his fatal flaw, defending others; and it works even better juxtaposed with Scott, who’s defining trait and fatal flaw is only caring about himself. Foaming at the freaking MOUTH dude. He’s got issues, sure, but man he’s so sweet, love him. After this he’s the first person to confront Chris about this not being about the statues, but rather the mine; he’s more than likely upset that Chris put his friends in danger, especially for these ulterior motives. He’s so upset on their behalf, not even his own, that he stands up to the man who almost got him killed.

After this ordeal, Cameron confronts Mike about having DID. In his fear, Mike’s quick to ask who told him that. He’s afraid, first and foremost, that other people know and are talking about him; afraid that this has made him somehow unlikable or unlovable. At the mention of being able to control it, he’s overjoyed, and immediately agrees to help get rid of Scott. Scott’s the first person outside of Mike’s system who he’s been willing to genuinely disadvantage for his own goals. So Mike does not like Scott. But I feel like it’s an oddly intimate dislike. He dislikes him so personally, understands him so thoroughly with such disdain, for such little personal transgressions, that he’s willing to throw him under the bus to regain control over his situation. That’s special in a way, Scott’s the only person Mike would do that to. And considering how Scott treats everyone with hate as a way to cover his actual wants for human connection, and he hates Mike more than anyone else on the team, I feel like it’s safe to say they have strong mutual negative feelings in a way neither of them have experienced before. In a weird way, right now, with Mike having a sway over the team, he’s kind of more in control than he’s ever been. I can’t explain it, but the way they hurt each other goes beyond average contempt to me. In real life, yes, you shouldn’t hate someone that you have romantic feelings for; but I think something like this in fiction blurs the lines with intensity in regard for one another. It’s a blending of concepts. Lois it insists upon itself, but in a fun and intriguing way. I love when characters hate each other with the intensity and obsession that other characters love each other with. 

It’s 2:40 AM and I just hit my pen so I could really lock in for these last two episodes before Mike’s eliminated but idk if it’s going to work. 

In episode eight, we start off with the teams on the rafts. Scott comes up looking anxious about getting eaten by a shark, and Mike returns the expression, and says that the shark will never find them. This could be Mike comforting himself or comforting Zoey and Cameron, but do you know what it could also be? Comforting Scott. The person he’s responding to. Mike and Scott don’t like each other, but Scott still came to Mike first, and Mike still had it in him not to shame or ignore him. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Absolutely. 

At this point, Cameron explains to the audience what causes each of Mike’s alters to front: Vito fronts when the body is shirtless, Svetlana fronts when there’s a physical challenge, Chester fronts when frustrated, and Manitoba fronts when the body’s wearing a hat. I’m not sure what to make of Manitoba’s trigger(?), but the others make it apparent that Mike isn’t able to handle or is rarely able to handle physical challenges, frustration, or being shirtless by himself. And this is where I should talk about Mike’s trauma, probably. I’m not going to get too into things here because I’m not an expert on DID and also it could be mildly upsetting, but DID develops due to repeated early childhood trauma and different alters may be better equipped to handle certain feelings, tasks, relationships, or memories than others. Mike had to have experienced this repeated trauma and it likely had some sort of physical component, considering Vito’s triggered by the removal of the shirt and he mentions in his character bio that he doesn’t have any good childhood memories besides maybe riding his bike. This, as well as the rejection we discussed earlier, explains a lot about Mike’s personality unfortunately. He’s used to being hurt, and seeks control, stability, and love for that reason. He’s loyal and quick to form attachments because he probably didn’t/doesn’t have any at home. And he’s self-preserving and protective and aware of his surroundings because of this as well, because he has to be. We don’t know exactly what happened in Mike’s life, though there is an “Uncle Vinny” in his character bio (mentioned by Vito) and it is possible that Chester is an introject of an older relative. Regardless, it doesn’t matter. I would like to return to Scott for a moment, and renew the topic of his home life. We’ve discussed how Scott’s family probably isn’t well off, doesn’t show him enough affection, and likely never disciplined him in a way that stuck considering how he behaves. And his father encouraging him to kill rats for him doesn’t sound great either. Like Mike, it would make sense for Scott to have an unstable/unhealthy home life, and for that to translate in his characters. He also needs power over other people, he pushes away people and refuses to make friends, he has patterns of violence, and he’s fast to learn what makes people tick. 

Back to the scene, Zoey starts by complimenting Mike, which he’s excited about (need for approval, ok). However, he becomes nervous when she says it feels like he’s hiding from her. Then when Dakota starts mutating, Mike is the first to diffuse the situation by stating that her hair is growing back. He also leads the charge in pulling the sign out of the raft. After Dakota throws out the sign, Mike also says that they have to get in the water instead. When Scott reminds him about the shark and tries to refuse, Mike shoves him into the water, annoyed. It’s sort of fascinating how much more dominating Mike is in this episode compared to others. Maybe almost dying (or rather, almost losing his friends) in the mine changed him. Or maybe he has more confidence now that he’s the strongest person in his friend group and he doesn’t care what Scott thinks of him, evident by him forcing Scott into the water when he never would’ve done that to someone else. Mike, again, tells the team to stay quiet to avoid provoking the kraken. Man is going off this episode. He’s instantly annoyed when Scott starts freaking out over the shark, he’s so done dealing with this man that he can’t handle it and Chester takes over. Dude they’re soooo in hate. <3 After this, Scott is irate over his team winning, more than he’s ever been before. His feelings are so strong that he’s focusing extra hard on this faux-goal to destroy his own team. Mike’s also upset because the challenge is dangerous, “even by [Chris’] standards”, probably because the last challenge was also ridiculously dangerous and he’s worried about a repeat.

While Mike and Cameron go ahead to win the challenge at Mike’s behest, Scott talks to Zoey. He knows that Mike has a secret just by watching them, and lets Zoey in on this to manipulate her. After this, Mike and Cameron tell Zoey that Scott’s bad news in return, and she claims that he still has a heart. Mike is saddened by the fact that Zoey trusts Scott more than him, and I just think that’s such a…thing to happen. In trying to keep Zoey close by hiding his DID, he just pushed her away more, towards someone who’s so similar to him yet so different as well. We find out from Cameron that Mike fronts when Zoey’s in danger, because he cares about her that much. Scott also steals the team’s compass from Mike and frames him for losing it, blaming him if they come in last, but he fails when Dakota clears the forest of thorns. Scott keeps losing to someone who should be so easy to beat and who represents everything that he hates: kindness, loyalty, and people who stand up to him. Meanwhile, Mike’s alters are becoming increasingly hard to control, and he’s still unwilling to admit to having DID, afraid this will dissolve the relationship that’s already crumbling due to him not revealing it; he’s stuck in an Ouroboros of fear. Scott, immediately after this, seems to be mocking Mike, loudly saying to Zoey, “Would I lie to you?” Scott just knows how to push this guy’s buttons in the perfect way to piss him off. 

When Scott loses the challenge for them, Mike’s probably the most upset we’ve ever heard him, at least in my opinion. He doesn’t hesitate to let Scott know that he fucked up and that Mike thinks he’s full of shit. Mike tries to get Zoey to vote for Scott, done with this charade; Scott feels the same about playing around like this, and gets Cameron to admit that Mike has DID— but he doesn’t want Mike out yet, he wants to toy with him some more. You can see the horror in his face when Scott pulls out the idol. In order for Dakota to go home, it couldn’t have just been Zoey to vote for her, and Mike and Cameron voted for Scott, and Dakota probably didn’t vote for herself. Scott had to have either voted with her, or voted for himself for fun; but irregardless, he didn’t vote for Mike, even though he’s clearly Scott’s biggest target. He doesn’t just want Mike out, but wants to use him first, something we haven’t seen before. And yes, this is because Scott’s a bad person, and taking advantage of his weaknesses; but having his weaknesses known and used by someone would be a sort of ideal scenario for Mike, despite also being his literal nightmare. He doesn’t have to hide from Scott at all, Scott’s probably the only person that Mike can fully be mad at and confront about that anger. Which is very fucked up, but also oddly close, I guess. It’s a unique relationship, it’s interesting to me. The mortifying yet somewhat comforting ideal of being known going both ways. Toxic yaoi. Hate as an allegory for love. Y’know, the usual. 

The toxic yaoi continues in episode nine baby, we freaking made it. The first line that catches my eye (or ear I guess) is “Multiple Mike thinks he’s a ladies man, what a loser”. First of all, reeks of gay thoughts and unaware jealousy; but second of all, notice how Scott and Mike continuously get more and more openly aggressive with one another. They’re falling into a routine with it, almost. 

This is where Scott introduces the deal— AKA, starts blackmailing Mike to help him win the challenge. Mike’s incredibly upset, and even considers telling Zoey about his DID, but is ultimately still too afraid. He’d rather be used than be abandoned. During the challenge, Mike tries to quip back at Scott for telling him to look in the broom closet, but retracts it when Scott threatens to tell Zoey. He tries to look tough to Scott, but fails. And when Zoey’s in trouble, Scott refuses to let him help her, in favor of making him go through the trash. Like with everyone, Scott likes to see Mike squirm, but I think he’s best at it with Mike, and the most enthusiastic about it too. 

I’d also like to mention here that Mike just kind of gives up and lets Scott pick him up and carry him. Just saying idk you know when you just pick up some guy who you hate instead of making him actually fight for you or run in front of you or whatever. Mike also snarks Scott when his car doesn’t work, which, ok, go off King. Mike finally stands up for himself to help Zoey, the desire to protect her stronger than his fear, but Scott remembers how to trigger Vito to front and uses this to his advantage. 

So, at this point, Vito gets clobbered and Mike has the fight with his alters, and it’s soooo bad, it’s so bad dude. They’re all fighting for control as if the moral isn’t that they should work together, it’s ridiculous, but I guess it also makes sense for Mike to be pushed to this considering everything? Glossing over this, anyways, Mike finally comes clean to Zoey and explains that he didn’t want Zoey to think badly of him. And I know everyone hates this scene, I hate this scene, “multiples just means there’s more Mike to —” yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck off idc that’s not how it works. But at least I think it does help draw a final parallel between Mike’s relationships with Zoey and Scott along with Scott eliminating him. Mike’s able to pursue his loving relationship with Zoey through her finding out about his closest secret, and Mike and Scott similarly are able to freely insult each other and develop this toxic almost-codependent-but-Scott’s-way-worse relationship because they also know each other, they know they’re hiding something and they’re familiar with each other’s personalities because hate drives them to look so deeply into each other. Mike gains Zoey and loses his dynamic with Scott, and vice versa, back and forth. These relationships can’t coexist, both because they’re so polarizing but also so similar in their intensity. 

I didn’t watch the entirety of episodes ten through thirteen because it’s 4 AM and this is a Scike post, a 9274 word Scike post. But I did scrub through them and I would like to throw out there the Icarus imagery in episode ten when Zoey burns Scott for what he did to Mike, like Scott got too close to the sun or too in over his head, and Mike was his ultimate downfall. I’m also just going to skitter on past the “Mike makes fun of Scott while he’s in the trauma chair” because what the fuck. What was that.

The relationship between Mike and Scott in canon is, admittedly, less significant in canon than it is in my head, and less well-written and intriguing than I pretend it is, and it’s not healthy, and no matter how I spin it they never actually made up or understood each other in a major tangible way. But I think they should have. I think having them be characters who begrudgingly understand each other and care for each other in a way they don’t acknowledge or even recognize would give them some much-needed depth and maybe consistency. Scott in canon has no close relationships, and the two that Mike has weren’t necessarily great throughout the season even though I like to think that they are. It would be good for them. Adding a few more layers to each of them would explain a lot about their goals, their mannerisms, the contradictions in their personalities; it would make them both more sympathetic and relatable, into some maladjusted teenagers looking for an outlet rather than just a good guy and a bad guy who hate each other. 

In conclusion, this post didn’t make much sense, and it was kind of a waste of time. But it was fun to think about these guys, and I could fix them, and also they’re more toxic in canon than first thought but I’m not necessarily complaining, because what’s a character without conflict and what’s a story without a theme? I didn’t edit or organize it, this was more or less my notes from rewatching the first nine episodes of ROTI. I’m aware it was super repetitive and rambly but I don’t have the time or energy to clean it up so, make of them what you will. Maybe this gave you a new perspective on Mike and Scott, maybe it didn’t, I dunno, I’m indifferent now, perchance. Like and subscribe for more Party Sciking. I need them to hold hands and wear the get along shirt and go to therapy. This ended up being more or less 9,738 words. Hope everything’s right in this, let me know your thoughts but please don’t tell me if you hate it. Goodnight Miami. 

#alex’s td rambles #total drama #td scike #throws this to you. i don't remember half of what i wrote here #take a shot every time i say control or trust or power or annoy or smile or love or #cw abuse mentions #just in case #also i hope i got the psych stuff right i promise i did research #cw toxic relationship

[hauntingblue]

making a collection

making another collection with a threatening aura

#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo #HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn. #luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!! #what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there #FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :( #one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend #usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase #nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls #i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki #luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg #cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy #zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over #zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn #komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom #luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk #it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also #was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up??? #'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!' #flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe #zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her #that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme #fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems #foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests #now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby #the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies #kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs

[yellowloid]

heyyy what do think Miles' and Alex' relationship "status" currently is? Like I personally don't think they're together but can't deny their chemistry during their last tour and do kinda think things happened. Obviously we all know nothing, but I would love to hear your thoughts cause you always express them soooo well :D

this is So Old i tried to answer it like five times over the past few months and then i always got sidetracked i'm so sorry

(big disclaimer because of course we don't know anything about them and their private lives, as always this is just complete speculation!!)

anyways, i definitely think there was something in the past, but i don't think it ever evolved into an actual relationship as we traditionally intend it, not even at the height of the eycte tour. if there was indeed anything, it was probably a situationship/illicit affair where they started fucking (i really can't point out the exact moment because part of me says they crossed the line in 2016, but another part of me is convinced something happened even before that, maybe as far back as the recording of taotu). in both instances they came out of that period being Not Okay TM and like. being weird about each other and i think that's very telling

but regardless of when they actually started exploring each other's bodies i think in general there was always a latent attraction, both physical and emotional/romantic, going on between them from the very start. and what we saw in 2016 was the coronation of that, in a way. but again, i don't think it ever turned into an actual relationship, and i definitely don't think they're together now. does that mean they're over each other? absolutely not, in fact i think they never got over each other and doomed themselves to a life of longing for each other and occasionally falling back into the old habits (iykwim). i imagine it to be very difficult to get over someone when they also happen to be your best friend that you have history with + a bond that is, to put it simply, one of a kind.

will they ever fully commit to each other? i don't know, and i don't think that's the point either. i think the attraction between them - platonic, mental, emotional, romantic, sexual, you name it - is still very much there, and it goes so much beyond those categories, and that's what's so beautiful about their relationship <3

#thank you for the question and sorry for the belated answer #also @ the no-fun police don't take this too seriously like. i don't know shit. this is just a silly post #btw boy do i hope they'd just cut the bullshit and kiss. they'd conquer the world they'd be such a power couple why are they COWARDS #answered #just reread this before posting and wow. take a shot every time i say 'i think'. blackout drunk in 0.5 seconds

[bluesey-182]

this review for the ballad of songbirds and snakes is going to be critical so if you loved this book and don't want to see that critique then you are welcome to skip this post. im willing to have civil conversation and im also very willing to hear other points of views bc i love discussing books (and who knows! maybe someone could change my mind) BUT if you're at all going to be nasty and/or take it personally, then you will likely be blocked.

im gonna be so honest... the ballad of songbirds and snakes was a decent book. but. i don't think it actually added anything to the overall story. it added some perspective, maybe, to how snow became snow but it also felt... pointless? i think if I'm going to get a villain origin story, i want it to make me feel conflicted, or at least somewhat understanding to how the villain turned out that way. i want it to show me the gray area. but this book just... didn't do it for me. none of it was surprising. and also, from the beginning, i didn't overall care that much to know what made him this way, because the end result was still the same, and nothing happened to change that feeling for me. bc the only way snow was interesting was how he was as the villain. there was nothing beyond that to interest me, and i think that's what this book was trying to use as the draw. and moreover, to expand on my opinion that it didn't add to the series: i think it relied solely on easter eggs from the original trilogy to make you think it was adding anything. like "see, look at this reference i made! doesn't it remind you of the original books?" idk. like i said, it's a DECENT book on it's own. the writing is good, the story itself isn't bad--it just also gives you no reason to invest in the main character, and i think to some degree that's something that's supposed to draw you into a book. and like i mentioned, nothing surprised me. i saw all of it coming. i predicted every twist before it happened. which isn't always a bad thing! but i was also mostly underwhelmed when the twists DID happen. i was hesitant to read this book in the first place, hence why im only reading it now after the movie release bc my partner wants to see it, and honestly? im not feeling like i gained anything from the experience. i had fun reading it bc, again, it's written fairly well, but at the end of it, im just feeling.... meh.

(spoilers ahead in this paragraph only) i at first thought the only thing it added was why snow dislikes the mockingjays but the more i consider it, it didn't really even add that much either. he was just creeped out by them??? hmm.... (unless, and this might be reaching, he hated the mockingjays bc they showed him his true feelings about lucy??? there's a line about how he was getting tired of her music and maybe the fact that the mockingjays repeated music instead of voice, like the jabberjays (which he had no problem with) was like... his true feelings coming through? I'll have to sit with that and see what i think)

i will say, the parallels between characters in this book and the original trilogy are interesting and i will enjoy seeing those analyses but, again, i don't really feel like it added anything. i still think snow would have done the exact same things without them. because he never ACTUALLY cared about anyone at all, except for how he could use them. how they made him look.

if anyone is interested in a star rating, i gave it 3/5 bc the reading experience was relatively enjoyable, and the writing itself was good imo, and as a stand alone story it was not bad but also not excellent. it was all "just okay". and im trying to rate this as it's own story, not as part of of the whole. however, it being part of that whole is what makes me feel so let down

#text post #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #also the way i rate things may be different than you so if you read my take and think i rated it too high just keep that in mind #if i had a good time reading it i usually end up giving it 3 stars even if i don't think it's perfect #< unless the book has actually glaring problems in how it presented or handled things #also before someone comes at me saying i set myself up for failure bc of my low expectations going in: #if im going into a book like this and im skeptical i still ALWAYS hope for best and give it every shot to prove me wrong #it just didn't this time

[inkykeiji]

any thoughts on beastzai?? (he’s basically dazai but 10 times more melancholic, depressed, and hot AND tyrannical)

imagine him using u as his fleshlight</3

OOOOH so i read beast n thought he was so insanely attractive because he is so insanely terrifying, and i’m also just incredibly attracted to the fact that he is the Boss of the mafia <33333 the sheer power and prowess he exudes is unparalleled, and you can feel it radiating off of him in thick waves; you can sense it the moment he enters a room—this dense, heavy, suffocating darkness that commands immediate attention, that devours your attention, that blots out and sucks up all of the light and warmth in the space. it looms over him like some sort of hellish creature completely at his fingertips, his every beck and call and will, instantly ready to spike the moment he demands it to...and that’s just so sexy to me <33

i don’t have any specific thoughts at this moment but i do think he would be so unbelievably sadistic when he fucks <3 like he can’t cum unless you’re bruised and bloodied and entirely broken—body, mind, soul—otherwise it just doesn’t do it for him </3 i think he just needs everything in the EXTREME to feel even the faintest flickers of anything at all—he needs the most vile, vicious murders to feel a shred of satisfaction, he needs the most brutal, ruthless sex to even come close to getting off, etc. <3

#take a shot every time i say ‘so’ in this answer #i’m kidding pls don't you'll be in the hospital #anyway hopefully this makes sense!!!! #these are just my unorganized thoughts SPLAT all over the page hehe <3 #he’s super interesting tho!! i read beast back in like april/may tho so #beast atsushi is !!!!!!!!!!!! omfg #so cute #thanks for ur question anon! #i hope ur having an awesome saturday hehe c: #inky.dazai #inky.bsd #inky.bb #clari gets mail

[tozsoss]

My hot take is being realistic ALL the TIME could lead to one’s downfall. Sometimes taking a leap of faith is mandatory in order to achieve something. There are things logic and "reality" cannot show us. Sometimes you have to dream and to imagine. I hate how as a society we value being realistic because then so many people fail to be happy because they think that reality=boring/sad/serious. How many people have given up on their dreams because it wasn’t serious or realistic in their eyes? How many people have put up boundaries and rules that have ruined their chances? Don’t listen to those who are afraid of seeing beyond. I feel you need to take a risk and not always follow what is deemed as the logical choice because it could ruin so many things.

#this isn’t to say you need to always be out of touch. balance is key. #take a shot every time you read the word realistic in this paragraph 😍 #text #rant? idk #realistic #dream #kpop community #tarot community #I hope this reaches the right peopleeee #astrology community

[transingthoseformers]

Sometimes fic inspires me, and I just want dark, depressing fic.

Like. I don't even know what version of canon. IDW? Prime? Probably more Prime? I'd say it's almost like SG?

Anyway. Orion Pax becomes Prime, and unfortunately, even if he once had noble intentions, he ends up as corrupt as the other Primes. Perhaps there's a rot in the Matrix. Perhaps bots just can't be trusted with that sort of power.

He does have a bodyguard who is always one step behind him, as quiet and still as a statue. He is, however, quite recognizable. It's Megatron, former Champion of the Pits.

This Megatron, however, if he ever protested against the corruption in government, he doesn't anymore.

Instead, he serves the mech he loves, whom he gave his spark to, who kisses him in private but ignores him in public.

A low-caste labourer, even one as famous as Megatron, can never be allowed to sully the Prime.

When he's alone, when Optimus dismisses him, he sometimes raises a servo to his chestplate and thinks about the small, flickering spark orbiting his own.

Would Optimus acknowledge their sparkling? Send it away so as not to tarnish his image? Once Megatron was certain he knew the answer, but times have changed. They have changed.

But hope is the last thing that dies in a mech.

So a continuity blend, okay okay

Ohhhoh now this? This could go in so many interesting directions based on what you use it for

I have two answers to this

Answer one: the unique scenario

So I exactly imagined the shattered glass designs (or at least Megatron's shattered glass design), and a blend of the backstories for SG, TFP, and IDW.

Maybe more heavily Aligned leaning on Optimus's backstory and his connection with Megs, more IDW leaning when it comes to the worldbuilding of the setting itself (because I feel like adding the IDW flavor of the Senate, Functionists, and all the nasties going on in the background would be interesting), aaaand pretty split down the middle of SG/TFP/MTMTE when it comes to Megatron himself because I've thought way so much about blending the backstory we see for him in mtmte with the one we know he has in aligned.... But also because I mostly imagined his shattered glass design here.

Answer two: the answer based on a pre-existing fic

Remember this? I do!

My second thought upon seeing the word bodyguard was "wait like in [The path less travelled by was paved with good intentions]?"

Let's just say your ask sounded to me like a possible future event along that "bad timeline" where Megs didn't step away.

#maccadam #transformers #ideas #I think we have a fic lying around where Megatronus is the prime's bodyguard_ where they've got an interesting connection :) #spitballing #megatron #Optimus prime #orion pax #< same guy #fanfiction #fic rec #... kinda #i need to start tagging those as ones i give and ones i am given #transformers shattered glass #... kinda... #take a shot every time i say 'kinda' or 'probably' or words like that on this blog and you will die of alchohol poisoning #i use a lot of inexact and informal words when i am unsure (which is often) #i hope my portion of this was coherent

[emmalovesfitzloved]

Who are your fav characters, and why ? And favourit ship/s ?

Eeeeek finally getting round to this lovely ask by the smartiest @imabitchforjemcarstairs hehehe

I have answered this lovely q, and here is the link for the full unhinged answer for the "why" them, hehe.

But the TLDR just for fire rapid answers is:

Favourite characters:

Alastair

Will/Tessa (tie)

Thomas

Matthew

Kitty and Jessa tie

Malec (if allowed a sixth place)

Top Ships:

Thomastair

Wessa

Kitty

Jemma

Malec

(lots of cheating with the ties, but im going to be honest, i can't choose frfr)

Now to enjoy this read and not make and make this answer half assed, I will be original and give my two cents on the topic of Wessa vs. Jessa i haven't had the time to chat about until now. So technically you didn't ask for this lol but i feel like we love Jem and this is a perfect opportunity to give an essay responce on the whole shindig :)

So scooch in for me @imabitchforjemcarstairs we need a chat ;) .

On the topic of Jessa vs. Wessa vs. Herongraystairs in TID:

I think I liked them a lot especially in TID, but i think that the lack of Jem POV makes it hard to really understand what's going inside in his head. And i think the relationship as a ship in writing, suffers from it, especially when we have Will's POV. And that rather, the decisions that 'metamorph' in their relationship is out of Jessa's hands, but a response to the events CC convienently plops in, not allowing any of these three characters decided eyes wide open their fate. Which imo, is a cop out. Let's breakdown the sneaky manipulative writing CC did ;)

I recently reread TID (for about the 10th time now, as one does during the christmas season lol) and found that even during the Herongraystairs arc, it felt like the writing gave more bonding and more to Wessa than Jessa. I call this in romance novels the, "convincing period", where the author in those formative chapters has to convince the reader that these two individuals should be in a ship. CC convinced us on Wessa bc they were into each other since day 0 when Will saved her from the Twin sisters, had so many hobbies in common and shared the same common struggles of figuring out who they want to be in this world (Will struggling w/ his identity and curse and Tessa as a weird hybrid warlock who constantly gets gaslit her who life). So the convincing is done well there i think we can all agree on that pretty easily.

For Jem and Tessa, it seems as if Tessa always defaulted to him because he was a failsafe from Will. And i don't mean that negatively, but in that, he was brilliant, light, elegant, poised and studied and that is literally sexy as hell lol. LIKE COME ON, HE MADE MUSIC ON HIS VIOLIN FOR HERRR. THAT'S HELLA ROMANTIC. And is very "show don't tell" when it comes to his love, my fav trope. He is very clear, which at the time, was the opposite of Will. So that in of itself is attractive to Tessa. But it's a canon event, that she went into the engagement collaterally in book 2, bc Will constantly kept deflecting what they had. She wouldn't have explored a relationship with Jem, if it weren't for Will's deflections. This is literally a canon event. And Tessa wanted to explore what she had with Jem bc he was very decided and less flakey than Will. Which tbh makes utter sense to me!

But as you can see, later on, once Jem leaves the silent brothers, the way i interpreted this is that, Jem and Tessa became a thing bc of the history they have, the loyalty they have to the trio friendship group and bc Tessa doesn't have Will anymore. It's giving very much "begin again" by Taylor Swift Vibes (not too much but yk kinda that aesthetic). And what I'm trying to say, is that I read the Jessa relationship at a disadvantage when up against Wessa. I think CC would have benefited writing Jessa and Wessa independent, and not collaterally contigent on the happenings of what was going on with the status of the other relationship. And then, on Wessa's side in response to Jem leaving for the Silent Brothers, they didn't want to get together in Book 3, bc Will didn't want to take his best mate's girl away bc his best mate never asks anything of Will and he's also high key dying.

It’s unfair that Wessa happened bc Will felt like there was a curse which gave way for Jessa’s engagement, and conversely, it’s unfair that Wessa only got together once the silent brothers made Jem one of them. So again, the autonomy of these characters are not happening 'authentically' but are happening bc of circumstances.

There is also the accidental (ig) trope that Jem with his illness he was given which in political theory we call, “the children are dying” trope. Which means, you give blanket equity or veto power to someone irrespective of the context of deserving because they are “closer to death” than anyone else. This is THE DRIVING FORCE, of why everyone acts the way they do around poor Jem and it drives him, and us the readers crazy, rightfully so. Jem and Will become friends, not because Will at first fr liked Jem as a person or thought he was a talented shadowhunter, but “because he was dying”, blanket permission for friendship. Tessa was kind to Jem at first because, you guessed it, blanket permission because he is closer to death than she is. They get engaged despite not knowing each other for a long time, conveniently for Jem because, yes, he’s close to death. So much of autonomy is once again stripped from characters around Jem, because most of their actions are respective to his illness. Which is polite, lovely, but it rightfully upsets Jem because he is still a person. Not a a make a wish kid nor a charity case. This was touched on briefly when he said he didn’t want a nurse out of Tessa but a wife. This wasn’t morally delved into deeply save for Tessa’s answer “no I fr like u dude wdym” but than her actions proceed to default back to the “children are dying” complex around him. And we’re only freed from this trope finally once Jem has lived basically the immortal life and is a very changed person after silent brotherhood.

So WTF to do right? Seems like CC built up amazing grounds and complications in these characters, but what to do right? How can she wrap this up in a nice bow? Well CC went naturally via the occam's razor route, which is: Jem becomes a literal monk giving him 'immortality', so circumstantially, the only option JUST SO HAPPENS that Will and Tessa can be together. Again, its not a decision Tessa makes, its a problem that solves itself for Tessa. She goes with Will for now, and maybe in the future, she will go with Jem if he ever leave the silent brothers.

Which again, imo is a bit of a cop out. But CC didn't allow Tessa to put her big girl panties and choose a man. But one thing is clear, which is CC didn't write Will and Jem equal from the start. And it is very clear that Will was written from the beginning as the forbidden love and chosen one. Which is extremely unfair to Jem bc there is so much we could have learned and gained from a Jem pairing that DIDN'T happen bc of the circumstances of Wessa not working out. I truly think that Jem was written with an unfair disadvantage. Like i said, One bc his POV hasn't ever been explored that well. and Two, bc all of Tessa's choices weren't made bc she willed them, but bc CC wrote the circumstances in to take away the choice for her.

Now what I do think is right, is that Jessa, both being immortal are together later on in Shadowhunter Canon. I love Mina and I love what they can be for each other. They make each other happy. And for anyone who says that you can have only 1 love in ur life has a very romantic judeo-catholic view on things XD. U can have many loves in ur life, and each of them can be independent from each other. Love is not mutually exclusive. How is it that you can love unbundently and feel equal love for your multiple pets and children, but not find it in yourself to love more than 2 men? It is entirely possible. And so I do think there is room for Jessa, even if Wessa happened first. And I don't think it is disrespectful or cheating to remarry or find another love after one has ended.

I read criticism about them and how they don't live up to the same version as they were in TID, but i think living hundreds of years does that to you. And i don't think it's the fault of anyone in the pairing to 'bring out' the best in the other, but they can also be very changed people from when they were young. This criticism that they aren't great together later on in life is rooted in their own way of dealing with immortality AND THEN each other. I think what is a pity is that it isn't explored as well as Magnus's immortality has shaped his life which i think again, puts Jessa at a disadvantage. Magnus' continuity as I explained before is given a wider girth than Jessa which is why he is my preferred immortal. But then again, what would Magnus do, if he was immortal forever with his ship? He would be a very changed person he wouldn’t be his own comedic relief that’s for sure. In fact, Camille was not wrong when she said that immortality changes your relationship greatly. Where she fucked up was treating poor babygirl Magnus like shit just in general lol, and being immortal doesn't mean u have to be an asshole. I think immortality truly did a number on Jem and Tessa, irrespective of each other and has not a lot to do with Jem or how he treats her, but a lot about how how Tessa and Jem are quite literally a hundreds of year old great grandma and gramdpa hahahahaha.

But if Will were still alive or immortal like Tessa, would Tessa still be with him now that she has the option of being with Jem forever? Again, we are stripped away from that option because the circumstances decided over the characters. But I do think she would still chose Will.

Final question is, would Herongraystairs actually work? The answer in CC's eyes and again, the occam's razor answer is obviously 'yes'. In fact Tessa herself in Book 3 said it is entirely possible to be in love with 2 people at once and I think poly relationships are a beautiful thing. But is it the easiest and first answer, or is it the TRUE answer? Again, that we will never know bc Tessa's decisions on this matter are in response to the environment she is in, not because she truly believes it.

It is very clear that Will is written all across Tessa's mind in Book 1, and is what she thinks about 24/7. There were times where i was like, "girl just go up to him and JUST EXPLODE UR FEELS ON HIM UR GIVING ME A HEADACHE". But the plot just so conveniently every time they had a moment alone, would get 'interrupted' and the moment was gone. Only after in response to this mess of a situationship, did she go for Jem bc of his ease and what he represented (which we talked about before^) but it wasn't equally organic. It was in response to what happened with Will. Truly we all know, that Tessa would not have even considered Jem, if Will and Tessa decided to be a couple and engage by book 1. And I hate that Jessa read to me as second best, instead of a true, equal 1st place like Wessa. Which is would have to be, in order to have a Herongraystairs. I don't like that CC made Jessa collateral, but tbh i think she didn't know how to chose in the making of TID. So instead of choosing or rewriting the relationship so that both ships were dealt with equally, she made the events of the plot decide for the characters instead.

In defence of CC, a lot of our lives happens in response to our surroundings and circumstances instead of pure Free Will. Which might ironically make Jessa and Wessa and Herongraystairs even more realistic than maybe the idyllic cleanly chosen choices. Life moves fast and we can barely respond to it in time. And what matters most at the end, is that all three of these characters love each other dearly and would be there for each other no matter what. However, the way the plot was almost TOO conveniently choosing everything instead of the characters making hand on heart choices, swings us back to being a bit too unrealistic.

I truly, really love Jessa and I would marry Jem myself lol, but I really disliked the way it wasn't dealt with fairly. I am happy that they end up together at the end, I just didn't like the way they went about it. I would be more sold on Herongraystairs if it was dealt with more evenly instead of the other side of the poly v, instead of being collaterally contingent to the happenings of Wessa. Who knows, CC said that Jessa will re-encounter Will again and not in shadowhunter heaven so i wonder if there is any ability to clean this all up. But bc of the way CC wrote Jessa over how i WISHED she wrote them, Jessa is not in the top 5 ships for me unfortunately. It's def top 10 (and for sure over Clare lol) probablly like 7th place but not top 5. I think there are other relationships in the Shadowhunter fandom that are written a lot more cleanly where the characters are given by CC more autonomy in their choices which makes it easier to follow along. Not to mention get their POVs.

I cannot wait for your own lovely essay on our fav Jem @imabitchforjemcarstairs ! I hope my re-mentioning of it doesn't come across as antsy or like i'm trying to 'remind you' passively lol. Which would be awfully rude. As you can tell, I took my time to reply to this one :). My intention is one of pure excitement, fandom-ing over it and showing support.

art credit: @giannyfili on instagram

#phew wrote this for over an hour! #i hope it was worth the read! #even though this is literally NOTHING u asked for #literally who asked Emma #don’t take a shot every time I say ‘collaterally contingent’ bc u will be drunk by the end of the essay lol #but we have talked about it before! And i finally found the time to give you my unsolicited two thoughts on our favs :) #Justice for Jessa lol #not anti-Jessa just want a better written Jessa #shadowhunters #not anti-jessa #I love jessa #just want a better WRITTEN jessa #Wessa is baby girl tho #muah

[bytebun]

ok. I understand the v*shwood shipping now. relationship btwn two guys for whom hope is a skill.

#uh. vague spoilers. but vash taking that shot because he couldn’t bear to let wolfwood’s efforts go to waste…. #to love is to be changed. or whatever. :( #my friends DO know me when they recommend the space western about hope in the desert after you’ve lost your entire world #sw and tr*gun is the same. #not that it’s a competition but if it’s a skill. I think vash is better at hope. But wolfwood obviously wants to live way more #which is interesting. #Two guys who hate themselves & think they’re monsters but in different ways…. To be a monster because #U are not human and to be a monster because you are. #n wolfwood’s thing is he’s constantly trying to make vash more human. In a sense. Or I think he wants to firmly slot him into some category #he can understand… #when wolfwood says u look better laughing when stampede!wolfwood says u have to eat #& when wolfwood tries to get him to walk back on his ideals every single time. <== in part this is also bc/ #he wants his monster hood to be justified I think… #if the killing isn’t necessary then he’s just a bad person :( (to himself) #and the way they both change each other. and their final choices. which in the end is what saves [redacted] #bytebun rambles #just completely incoherent. I’m just saying words recreationally.

[lowkeyremi]

JJK MEN AS DADS

How they are with their kiddos/babies ! ft. gojo, geto, choso, toji, and nanami

content: no curse!au fluff, established relationship (marriage), children, families.

Gojo Satoru

"Look at my little boy, he looks just like me, what a heart stopper you'll be when you get older!" He praises his two year old, Kenji Gojo.

"'Toru stop trying to manifest our son into a hoe." Satoru turns to you with a loud gasp, eyes wide, and it causes your little boy to giggle.

"How could you say such words, in front of him? Don't listen to Mommy. Daddy was never a player. Never ever!" Kenji has no clue what's happening he just laughs at his father's dramatics.

"Oh brother, I hope he doesn't turn into a drama queen like you. And yes you were a player before I got with you. Remember when you kissed my friend then like ten minutes later tried to kiss me?" Satoru was a menace in college. Every time you bring up that specific college memory he always says-

"Ugh, blame Suguru! He was the one who made me take shots when I didn't like to drink." There it is. That was excuse for two-timing you and your best friend back then.

"Save it for someone who believes you. Kenji, don't be like Daddy when you grow up, okay?" Your husband knows you're joking but he can't help but whine and feel like you're being against him.

"Otay Mommy! Daddy is hoeeee. Hoe hoe hoe. Merry Christmas!" Your poor little boy thinks he's saying the noise Santa makes instead of a derogatory term and it's hilarious.

Of course you encourage him, "Daddy's a what?"

"Hoe!" Kenji screams out with a smile on his face. Satoru frowns loosing his playfulness.

"I-i guess my family just hates me... no one loves me." He sighs loudly to sell it to you guys but you don't buy it. He sits in the corner pretending to cry. "Boo hoo..." Kenji waddles his way over to his father patting his head.

"No cry Daddy, you not a hoe. You Daddy." Satoru fakes a loud gasp when he hears his son comfort him, thinking Satoru is actually crying.

"Really?!" He asks the little boy standing next to him.

"Yeah, Daddy is cool!!" Satoru chuckles, picks up is little boy and tosses him into the air. The small white haired child screams in delight as his father catches him, and you can't deny that all the trouble you and Satoru had in your relationship was worth seeing this.

Geto Suguru

"And then, the monster ate the twin girls who didn't go to sleep at their bed time-"

"Ooooookay. I think that's enough bed time stories from Papa." You say ushering your girls to bed, Hana looks scared out of her mind but Kana's eyes are sparkling with curiosity.

"Awww, Mommy, it was just getting good!" Kana whines, you know she wants to hear whatever else Suguru makes up on spot but he scared Hana who looks like she wants to cry.

"I know sweetie, but I don't think Hana really liked that story." The girls are six and full of energy at any given time.

"Come on baby, let me tell Kana the rest." Suguru matches his daughter's tone, knowing you'll give in.

"Alright, fine, but you need to apologize to Hana, look at her." Your husband looks at his younger twin daughter and he does feel kind of bad for scaring her like that. Suguru likes telling scary stories and myths to his girls just like his father had done to him. He always thought they were super cool.

"Oh, Hana, sweet girl. Papa's sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that. How about I tell you and your sister a different story?" Hana looks a little doubtful as do you, but Suguru grants you a smile. He knows you trust him so you give him a stern look before kissing his forehead.

"Don't take too long, I need my cuddles." He smirks, kissing your hand, "Of course my dear."

The twins coo in unison at their parents romantic gestures, they think it's the coolest thing ever. "You girls have your stuffed animals?" He asks them and they nod together waiting for his story.

He tells the two about a princess who needed saving. Her long lost sister came to save her from a scary dragon and they lived happily together.

"That sounds like me and Hana!! I fought the scary dragon and Hana was the princess!!!" Kana says with excitement. Sometimes Suguru sees two little girls he used to foster in his own girls. He wonders how they're doing these days. They're probably grown up by now or at least in their late teens.

"I really wish Mommy had let me name you guys Nanako and Mimiko." He whispers with a soft smile. Kana looks at him in confusion rubbing her tired eyes, Hana's already asleep.

"Huh?" Kana asks.

"Nothing my dear, good night, little one." He tucks her into bed and gives her a tend kiss on the forehead.

"Night night, Papa." She says with a yawn and Suguru makes his way downstairs to join you.

Kamo Choso

Choso bites his lip looking down at his son, the boy looks a lot like you he thinks. Ryuji is his name, you let him name him. "I didn't mean to break it." He whines to his father. Choso has a soft spot for his boy. He reminds him a lot of his little brother Yuji.

"I know bud, but what will we tell Mom when she gets home?" Ryuji had accidentally broken your favorite ceramic mug. Choso was not sure what he signed up for when he got you pregnant but it sure wasn't this.

He and his son were always getting scolded by you. Every time Ryuji gets into some kind of trouble it also happens to be Choso's fault for not watching him closely as you always say. The truth is, Ryuji seems to get into trouble even with his father watching him closely.

"Um... we can tell her it was at the edge of the counter and i walked past it and it fell down. Then it will be her fault for leaving it by the edge." Choso smiles at his devious ten year old. He knows lying is bad but if you heard what really happened you'd scold both of them.

What actually happened as that Ryuji was playing in the kitchen, even though you've warned him against it many times and he knocked your mug down onto the ground.

"Good idea, kid. I don't want to hear Mom yelling again. I might get couch treatment again." Choso shivers at the idea of sleeping on the cramped couch rather than in his warm bed with you.

"You remind me a lot of your Uncle Yuji." Choso says ruffling his son's hair. "You and Mom keep saying that and I don't know if that's good or bad."

"It depends. Yuji can be both." Choso chuckles. His son gives him a crushing hug.

"I love you dad, you're doing great." And Choso didn't know how much he needed to hear those words but they were getting to him.

Fushiguro Toji

"Quit kicking your Ma, ya little brat." He threatens your swelling belly. He gives you a questioning look when you glare at him. Those emerald eyes challenge yours in a staring contest.

"What is with you and threatening our unborn children?" Your question is followed by a giggle.

"Gotta let the brats know who's in charge." He blows out a breath and puffs his chest, you find the whole ordeal ridiculous. The man is a girl dad for crying out loud. Even his oldest, your step-son thinks his father is a clown. And before Tsumiki died there were three daughters in his life.

He thinks your third one is bound to be a boy, but you're secretly hoping for a girl just to further sink Toji's idea of having a little boy to boss around. Megumi comes around maybe twice a month to see his little half-sisters, which means Toji is surrounded by girls all the time.

You like to joke around with him and say, "What do you know? Girls seem to follow you wherever you go." He always grumbles about it being stupid and unfair.

"As I was saying-"

"DAD!!!!! MY HAIR OH NOOOOOOO." Toji's up off the couch in seconds answering at his daughter's beck and call.

He walks into her room to see her braid was messed up. "What happened, Doll?" He asks her, undoing the braid so he can redo it.

"Yui undid my braid!! She took my hair tie and ran to her room!!!" She squeals, in horror at her little sister's thieving.

"Oh did she now? I'll go have a talk with her once I braid this back up." He's gentle with his tender-headed daughter. He quickly braids her hair back up, the pattern memorized. 100% self indulgent bc im tender headed.

"I have this green hair tie, is that okay, sweet girl?" She sighs quietly. "Where are the blue ones?" Toji clicks his tongue. "I can go get one real quick if you hold the end of this braid." He tells her and she's quick to do it. Her favorite color is blue after all.

She cheers when her father returns with a blue hair tie. He ties it up quickly, "Okay let me go talk to Yui." Nami nods brushing out her baby doll's hair.

Toji makes an appearance in front of his four year old's door, she's making her dolls scream at each other. "What was da reason?!!!!" She screams pretending to be one of the dolls, "I had a reason." She makes the other say.

Toji rolls his eyes, his daughter has been watching too much TV with you. "Excuse me miss Cardi B, why did you steal your sister's hair tie?" His hands are on his hips and his eyes are squinted to add to his authority.

"Whattttt, Dad, you know dat?" She asks as if her dad lives under a rock.

"Tch I'm not old, I know what memes are. Now answer the question." She rolls her eyes. You tell Toji she gets her attitude from him.

"If you haf to know I needed it, so I could give Sprinkles a ponytail." Sprinkles is the dog Toji said he was NOT going to get for his girls but caved in and got anyway.

"Ya coulda asked me or your Ma for one rather than stealing it right from your sister's hair." She shakes her head in disagreement. Toji wonders what's going on in her head right now.

"Dad you don't get it! It had to be that one!"

"Why that specific hair tie?" She goes silent turning away from her father and mumbling something Toji can barely hear.

"Speak up, princess." She scoffs and sighs and folds her arms. Wow the sass is unreal.

"Sprinkle thinks Nami is super cool so she wants what Nami has." Toji isn't stupid he knows his daughter is using the dog as a place holder for how she admires her older sister. Yui doesn't like to admit it though.

"Are you sure it's Sprinkle who thinks Nami is super cool?" He gives her the chance to be open with him and she sighs taking the bait.

"I guess. I think Nami is super cool." She murmurs and Toji smirks.

"It's alright to think your sis is cool, Dad didn't get to grow up with any cool siblings. Just annoying cousins."

"Mai and Maki are cooler than you, Dad, not annoying!" The man in question raises his brow his smirk never leaving, "Okay since I'm not cool. I guess I won't take you out for treats anymore when Ma says no."

Little Yui gasps, bursting upward like a rocket and running toward her dad. She hugs his leg, her little head looking up at him, "I was kidding Dad. You're super cool. Please don't stop taking me for treats!!"

Toji smiles, picks up his little girl and tickles her. She screams out for him to stop, "Huh? I can't hear what you're saying."

"Nami help!!!!"

In seconds Nami's attacking her father in a playful manner, "Let go of my sister!!"

"Okay then." Toji holds his daughter upside down by her feet, as she screams some more. "MA!!! HELPPP!!!!"

"Toji put her down." You say in a half-hearted manner.

"She is down. Upside down."

Nanami Kento

"See, you're getting the hang of it, Hiro." Kento softly encourages his son who's struggling with his math homework. You had tried to help him but he screamed that what you were saying didn't make sense. So of course you yelled back, letting your emotions get the better of you.

Kento had stepped in to keep you two from ripping each other's heads off. Plus all that screaming had woken up the baby. You could hear her crying.

That was about an hour ago. You quietly walked into the dining room with your seven month old baby girl cuddled up to your chest as you held her tight.

The sight of your husband helping your son warmed your heart, but you also felt guilt hot in your stomach for yelling at him, he's only twelve.

"Hey, Hiro. Can I talk to you, hon?" You ask softly. Both your son and Kento turn their heads upon hearing your voice. He nods at you and you inhale deeply, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, bud, I didn't mean it."

His eyes soften as do Kento's.

"I'm sorry too, Mom. I started it. You were just trying to help me." Kento's smile encourages you to walk closer to the table which you do.

"We should have had Dad come help in the first place, huh? I'm not good at explaining." Hiro shares a laugh with you, and Kento cups your cheek.

"Explanations might not be your strong suit but you're still a good mother, baby." Hiro gags at his father calling you "baby" he hate when you two get sappy.

You move your head a little so you can kiss his palm. As expected Hiro covers his eyes and making more throwing up noises.

"Oh hush, one day you'll find someone for you, and you'll be just like me and your mother." Kento says rolling his eyes and you giggle. Even though you guys have your differences you guys always forgive each other at the end of the day.

Your little girl coos quietly and Kento holds out his arms gesturing for his little girl.

"She's just had dinner, so she might fall asleep on you." Your warning doesn't bother him at all, if anything, you'll probably have more pictures to add to your baby gallery on your phone if she falls asleep in his arms.

She's already a dad's girl and she's only seven months old. You thought maybe Hiro would be a mama's boy but he's definitely his daddy's son.

You don't mind though, well, sometimes you're a little jealous that you have to share your man with your kids. Kento's a very lovable man though, so you can't blame them.

#jjk #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk as dads #jjk!dads #jujutsu kaisen as dads #dad!au #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #choso x reader #choso kamo x reader #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader

[writingsbychlo]

BUY ME PRESENTS | draco malfoy

summary; draco loves you, and you love him. he just needs a little push to make things official. OR, draco malfoy fighting for his life when he realises just how much everyone wants his girl.

word count; 8928

notes; this is based on christmas eve, but I'm posted a couple days later! this fic puts us half way through our slytherin boy holidays! I'm not sure how the one I expected to be the shortest became the longest one so far. like, seriously, I know I keep saying this but wtf? why can't I write a short fic?

Dinner had already been served by the time you made it to the Grand Hall, the smells of roasted meats and seasoned potatoes filling the air, your mouth watering as you navigated between the throngs of people. Your seat had been saved, of course. A spot on the bench between Draco and Daphne, and as you neared, your friends noticed, smiles rising and waves in your direction. 

Sinking into your seat, you pressed a kiss to the cheek of the blond boy beside you, his face tipping up to receive it and lips twisting into a smile, attention moving to you as you sat. 

“Good day?”

“Better now that it’s over.” You smiled, a chuckle falling from him, and his hand came to rest upon your thigh, squeezing comfortingly while you helped yourself to a plate of whatever food was left. “What are we talking about, what did I miss?”

“Not much. Just Theo telling us all about Christmas in Italy.” Mattheo rolled his eyes, as though you all hadn't heard this exact same speech since that very first Christmas you’d become friends. Most of the group seemed to have simply tuned it out, laughing and nodding at the correct times as they whispered their own conversations. 

A swipe of a thumb over your thigh as you finished filling your plate with food, and you shifted your attention to Draco. “So, what are your Christmas plans, Dray?”

Shuffling a little bit closer now that your plate was full, his arm moved to lay across your shoulders instead, letting you snuggle up into his side. “Oh, you know, the usual.” 

He smiled, and your world seemed to get a little bit brighter, his lips brushing your hairline as he left a barely-present kiss there. 

“Typical Malfoy-family Christmas. I get to do the tour with my parents, visiting every other rich-arsehole couple they know. Christmas Eve party. The pleasure of my father’s annual ‘you’re growing up now, son, it’s time to get serious about the world’ over the dinner table on Christmas Day. Open some presents I don’t want, on a schedule I don’t like.” He sighed, clearly used to it by now, but it didn’t make it sound any less awful.

“Well,” You smile, nudging him playfully with your elbow. “Maybe we could write to one another, or even get a little visit in?” 

The hope in your voice was evident, and Pansy gave you an encouraging smile across the table. You’d been meaning to ask Draco this question for weeks now, and your last chance had been fast approaching. Since the summer, you and Draco had been hooking up. It was no secret among your friends, or even the students; your affections for one another were hardly contained, but it wasn't official. 

You wanted the labels, the security, and the safety of knowing that he was yours and you were his, and nobody else could come between you. You wanted to be introduced to his parents, be his date at events, to have him be proud to call you his girl. But Draco had been hesitant, avoiding every conversation that might inch into the ‘so, what are we?’ territory, keeping a safe distance from any kind of real commitment. 

It wasn’t enough for you anymore, not by a long shot, but trying to talk to Draco about it only ended up with him shutting it down, or skilfully diverting the conversation and you were growing tired of his games. 

Draco only made a vague noise, neither an agreement nor disagreement, and looked away from you as he picked up his drink to take a sip. “I don’t know… maybe. I can get pretty busy over the holidays, I’d hate to let you down.”

Another skill of his, making it seem like cancelling or delaying or not doing something at all was your idea. He was clearly hoping you’d brush it off, and tell him not to worry about it, but instead, you kept quiet. Not giving him the satisfaction of any easy win, this time. 

Pansy caught your eye across the table, shaking her head disapprovingly, and shooting a glare at an oblivious Draco. She had been your confidant these last few months, every update and development in your situationship, she’d been informed of. Every decision, she’d been a part of. She was practically as invested as you were, at this point, and she certainly did not approve of his nonchalant behaviour either. 

“Speaking of parties,” Mattheo cut Theo off, clearly having had enough of the annual rehashing of ‘that one Christmas when Theo was eight’ for today, and changing the subject, “Who’s got their dates sorted for the Malfoy Christmas Eve Ball, and who’s daring to go solo and have Narcissa set them up like a matchmaker all night long?”

Chuckles rang out among the group, and Pansy smiled, leaning into Blaise’s side with a love-struck grin. “I think we’re safe this year.”

“I’m going solo, but, I did tell Aunty Cissa that I have my eye on a girl in one of my classes, and I’m seeing how it plays out. So, she’s not setting me up anytime soon, since she believes I’m already onto someone.” Enzo smirked, and Blaise congratulated him for his clever tactics. 

You smirked through your mouthful of food, listening to Mattheo explain his complex excuse, to Reggie mournfully spill the story of how he’s already been set up by his parents witha ‘potential bride to meet’, and how he hopes she doesn’t show up. You laugh with the others as Tom simply raises an eyebrow, knowing that even Narcissa doesn’t attempt to set him up anymore, lest he scare away any more of her friends’ daughters. Theo, ever the player he is, is looking forward to dancing with every single lady he can find, and taking his pick at the end of the night.

“I suppose nobody needs to ask Draco who his date will be.” Mattheo grins, wiggling his brows at the pair of you as you smile, leaning a little further into the man at your side. 

“Hey, who knows?” He chortles, and your eyes narrow a little, “I’ve had plenty of offers. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“Oooh.” Enzo’s eyes went wide, the other boys joining in, and Pansy fixed him with a glare. Daphne leaned around you with her jaw dropped at his statement, and you sat up from his embrace, lips pressed flat and a brow raised. 

The boys snickered, ‘he’s in shit’ and ‘someone’s in the doghouse’, but he lived for the spotlight, a drama queen at heart, and he smirked down at you. 

“Oh, c’mon. Don’t look at me like that, babe.” The playful nickname was one he only ever used when joking around. When he was sincere, he was much more romantic; darling, sweetheart, beautiful. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi mum, hello father, meet the girl I’m skipping class to shag! Thanks for paying my tuition!’, I don’t think so.”

The boys all laughed, Daphne scoffed in sync with her sister behind you, and Pansy looked like she’d lunge across the table at any moment, if it wasn’t for her chastising Blaise for laughing, instead. ‘You and Draco can share that couch you’ll both be sleeping on tonight’, she’d said. ‘See how funny you think it is then’.

The words stung as he spoke them, dismantling your relationship down to the bare minimum; to sex and physical connection and nothing else. Like the nights spent talking until the sun came up were nothing, the times you’d held him while he cried, or washed him in the bath when he was so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open. Like he didn’t rub your stomach for hours every month when you got cramps, or had a stash of your favourite snacks in his bedside table for whenever you came over. 

You knew that Draco Malfoy lived you, just as much as you loved him. It was evident in everything he did, every kiss and every word. But, he needed a little push.

“I suppose you’re right,” You sigh lightly, giggling along with the laughing boys around the table. “I’m not so sure Lucius wouldn't burst a blood vessel then and there.”

“Exactly.” Draco hummed, and you glanced back to Pansy. She was shocked, only for a second, before taking in the subtle signs of mischief on your face. Her own smirk stretched out in return, and her gaze flickered once to Draco, before back to you. 

A new game was afoot, and Draco wasn’t going to stand a chance.

Slipping your coat from your shoulders, the annual Malfoy Christmas Eve Ball was well underway. Your parents had disappeared into the crowds before you’d even stepped out of the carriage, uncaring of where you were as long as you weren’t causing trouble. They were here to mingle with the other importants, and you were just here to learn the ropes of proper socialising.

The garment was taken from you, your small bag clutched in hand as a ticket was given to you for it, and you brushed down the front of your dress delicately. Pearls moved under your touch, beading along the bodice flat and perfected, and you felt your confidence rise as you looked at yourself once more in the reflection of a dark window. Adjusting the small lace gloves on each hand, you took a step towards the dining room. 

Elegant music was playing from a live band up on a stage, the room was decorated this year to look like a winter escape. Pale and frosty, like a palace of ice, twinkling lights and glittering decor, crisp white tablecloths and ice sculptures. A layer of goosebumps travelled along your skin at the sight of it all, despite the warming charms that took place for the guests. 

Scanning the room, you quickly found your table. The designated kids table, despite you all being legal adults and far beyond such status. You’d all be the babies of the ball until the new generation emerged, no doubt. Moving through the bodies and crowds of people politely, Theo was the first to glance up and spot you, his mouth falling open, and a rush of confidence took over as he raised two fingers to his lips and whistled. 

The sound caught the attention of the others’ chatter fading to quiet as they all turned to look for the object of his cat-calling, Enzo’s eyes widened, Pansy cheered loudly, and even Mattheo looked momentarily speechless. You’d had the same reaction when you’d seen yourself in the dress too, your stylist had truly outdone herself for this one. 

You looked flawless, and you looked expensive, and utterly elegant. Doing a little spin as you approached, a smile broke free on your lips as you stopped before the chair with your name card before it. 

“Merlin, babe,” Pansy started, drawing your attention straight her her, “You’ve got every eye on you tonight. If I was single, I’d be all over you.” 

She winked when you laughed, and Blaise rolled his eyes but smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek affectionately. 

“Pretty necklace,” She commented, and your fingers rose to the pretty string of pearls and diamonds that you had. 

“It was a gift,” You simply hummed, tugging at your gloves. Glancing at the others, you gave each a polite smile, eyes lingering on Draco as he stared. In any other style, this dress would be scandalous for an event like this. A low neckline, spaghetti straps, no sleeves. Tight and fitted to every curve of your body, and yet the classic designs and vintage nature elevated it to the kind of class Audrey Hepburn would be proud of. 

He looked just as good, a dark suit, a fresh white shirt, a champagne-coloured tie that made the colour of his eyes and his hair stand out and your mouth dried out a little. Silver rings adorned his fingers, the Malfoy signet standing out, clenched so tightly around his whiskey glass that his knuckles were almost white. 

You’d worn soft, golden makeup effects today, a dusting of glitter along your cheekbones and eyelids, a shade of pink on your cheeks and lips that you knew was his weakness. 

“Someone really wanted your attention with that, huh?” Your best friend teased, and your eyes snapped away from Draco, back to her. 

“I suppose so,” You muse, hand coming up to touch one of the beads on your ear, “Since they also got me this lovely pair of matching earrings.”

Pansy made a dramatic show of admiring them, and Blaise gave a funny look, glancing at the jewellery, and then back at Draco, who was frowning. Before you could reach for your chair after placing your clutch down, Enzo was shooting to his feet from beside you, tugging out the chair for you. 

Draco scoffed as you gave him a thank you, settling into your seat, and he glared at the man beside you. Enzo didn’t flinch, however, smirking at Draco as he spoke;

“What? It’s called being a gentleman, cousin.”

Crossing your leg delicately, you’d hardly even removed your gloves, before a tray was coming down by your side, and a young waiter with a dazzling smile was looking right at you. 

“Champagne, ma’am?” Not a planned pawn in your game, but a welcome addition, you smiled sweetly in return. 

“Oh, I’d love some. Thank you.” Taking the single glass by the stem, you lifted it from the tray and the man’s smile stretched wider as you sipped the bubbly, holding his eye. 

“Of course, miss. If you need anything, anything at all, I’ll be at the bar, happy to serve.” His flirting was heavy enough that normally you’d want to roll your eyes, but tonight, you suppressed that urge, playing into it as you bat your lashes. 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Thank you.”

He took the dismissal, staring appreciatively as he walked away, another look over his shoulder to you as you watched him go. 

“Stop eye-fucking the help.” Draco snapped, and your focus moved to him slowly, just to find his icy glare on you. He didn’t scare you, though, all that mean bravado, but you knew what was underneath. 

“I was doing no such thing.” You tut, placing down your drink. “Don’t be jealous, Dray. You look even better in that suit. If you want compliments, just ask. No need to be mean.”

He seemed rather placated by this, his ego settling down, even if the others did laugh at him.

The conversation seemed to continue around you as you settled in, avoiding Draco’s heated stare and sipping at your champagne. The rush of warming alcohol through your veins settled every dancing nerve, and gave you the calm confidence to do what you had planned. Sitting forwards, just enough, you angled your body so that Draco might have the perfect view over your cleavage as you feigned interest in the chatter around you. 

He took the bait, his gaze falling right where you wanted it, the gems of your necklace dangling just over the swell of your breasts, and he licked his lower lip, pulling it between his teeth.

Raising your hands and catching the swinging gem, you toyed with it carefully, letting it run over your fingers. Time melted away as Draco’s gaze flicked between your nimble touch, your lips, and your chest, shuffling in his seat every so often, and gulping at the bubbly in his glass. 

He was on his third refill by the time food started to be taken around, and you took pity on him momentarily, sitting back in your chair and angling away from him, ready to receive your first course. 

As the starters came around, you turned to thank your waiter, surprised to see it was the same man from the bar who had brought you your champagne. You’d given him little thought since he’d walked away, and you’d never spotted him again, but perhaps that was exactly why he was delivering your food now, as he beamed at you and set down the plate. 

Men did love a little attention, after all. 

Reaching for the bottle of champagne cooling in the centre of the table, the waiter never looked away from you as he refilled your glass without being asked. Draco finally seemed to notice as he finished adjusting his napkin, gaze narrowing on the man serving you. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” He muttered.

You pretended to take no notice, smiling at the man and waving your fingers flirtily as he walked away.

“I’m going to get another drink at the bar,” He announced, leaving without his glass and without asking if anyone else wanted one. You knew where he was truly going, if the lock of his jaw and the stamp in his step were any indication. You doubted you’d be seeing that waiter again.

As you poked at your food, Pansy excused herself too, only a few bites into her meal before she disappeared with a wicked grin and no explanation to anyone. Enzo just chuckled beside you, glancing around the room like he was watching all the cogs of a machine in motion, before turning his gaze on you. “You do look lovely tonight, do you know that?”

“Of course I do. I spent days on end trying on dress after dress to find this.” You sighed, admiring the gorgeous piece of art on your body as you set your cutlery down. 

“And is it serving the purpose you need it to?” He teased, voice knowing, and you nodded. Flicking your gaze over the patrons and guests in the room, you searched for Draco, finding him talking politely to one of his mother’s friends at the bar. 

“It is, I think.”

“Let’s hope it stays that way.” He whispered, your focus still on the man who truly held your heart, who was making his polite excuse and walking way, back towards you all. His gaze locked on yours, only for a second, before Pansy was calling your name and drawing your focus elsewhere. 

When you looked up to her, she was grinning, a man by her side. “This is Elliot, he’s been wanting to meet you for some time. I promised him I’d introduce you both tonight.”

You offered the best smile you could as his cheeks reddened, and Pansy merely patted him on the shoulder, slinking away as you offered your hand to him. “Lovely to meet you, Elliot.”

“You too. As embarrassing as that introduction was, it’s true. I have wanted to meet you for some time.” He had a kind smile and pretty eyes, and he seemed far too nice to be dragged into your game tonight, but he seemed almost like a willing participant, and you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. As Draco took his seat, Elliot continued, “Pansy has told me so much about you. You know, if you’re free one day before you go back to that fancy boarding school of yours, I’d love to take you out.”

“Yeah? What have you got in mind?” You smile, twisting a little more to face him, and your encouragement only brightens his expression as Draco’s darkens in your peripheral.

“A night in London, perhaps. We could get dinner, and see the opera?”

“She doesn’t like the opera.” Draco sneered, openly staring at Elliot with enough contempt to scare away lesser men. Elliot tugged at his collar, glancing at Draco, and then back to you as you tried to hide your shock at his behaviour.

“The theatre, then?”

Draco looked ready to snap again, and before he could, you nodded, sparing your unwilling partner. “That sounds wonderful, I’ll see what my schedule says. I’ll get in touch with you through Pansy if I can find the time, is that okay?”

“Perfect.” He smiled, sneaking another wary glance at Draco who was not backing down from glaring at him unflinchingly, but Elliot shook it off, bravely. “It was a pleasure to meet you, truly.”

“And you, Elliot.”

Soon after he left, the plates were being cleared. You tried not to smirk as a different waiter, and one who very pointedly did not so much as even catch your gaze, cleared your dishes away at record speed. 

You knew that Draco had something, everything, to do with that. He was jealous by nature, a spoilt single child who did not like to share his favourite toys, and that is exactly what you were betting on tonight.

You stood, taking a lap around the room with Pansy to settle your food before the next course, and to get another drink. She took the opportunity to fill you in on how her first Christmas event with Blaise’s family had gone, and when you returned, you made sure to surreptitiously place yourself behind Draco’s chair. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder, a friendly gesture, squeezing and rubbing enough that your thumb swept over his collar and across his neck. His pulse jumped under your touch, and he tipped his head closer, into your touch. 

As he did so, your heart leapt in your chest. To others, it might look like a friendly gesture but to you, it meant so much more. You were tempted to cave then and there, to live with this being enough, to settle, but you couldn't. You didn’t want this to be it, you wanted to follow this by leaning down to kiss him, to have him smile against your lips in public the way he did when you were alone. 

To arrive at these events together, arms linked, and to stumble out tiredly together too. To sit by him, his hand on your thigh, to rest your head on his shoulder, to kiss him on the dance floor. The thought was enough to push you through. 

He twisted his head, to kiss your hand like he often did when you did this. Carefully, you slipped your hand away just in time, knuckles brushing across the nape of his neck as you stepped away, and back to your seat. 

His sights moved to you, but like a saving grace, the servers began to appear with more dishes, and dinner soon distracted you all. A delicious serving of salmon and potatoes, and the hall fell quiet enough for you to hear the beautiful music playing when chatter fell low. 

Low conversation, drinks refilled, and that perfect mood set across the room, as people took to the tables and quieted down. Your favourite part of the night, usually. Good food, your friends, and a chance to catch up without the usual weight of it all sitting on you. Regulus was talking, telling the rare story that had him caught up in a long conversation where he usually just observed quietly, but your attention was fixed on your lover. 

Until, Theo spoke up. 

“Oh, merda,” He muttered across Reggie’s’ story, his gaze cutting to you alarmingly quickly. “I forgot to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Your heart skipped a beat, a flash of panic.

“My cousin flew in last minute for the party, and he wants to speak to you.” Theo’s words soothed your panic, and you offered him a flat look for the dramatic way he’d put it. Taking a sip from your glass, you raised a brow.

“When?”

“Now.” He confirmed, sights lifting to sit just behind you, and before you could even turn, a chair was being pulled up beside your own from another table. Turning your head to the owner, a smile burst across your face at the man sitting before you. 

“Dario!” Your arms were around his neck before you could stop yourself, and he was chuckling as he bundled you into an equally enthusiastic hug. He chuckled lightly, pulling back only far enough to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, and you cupped his face as you parted from him. “You’re growing a beard!”

“My mother hates it.” He chuckled, rubbing a hand over it. As you twisted a little more towards him, he reached down, practically manhandling you as he reached for the edge of your seat by your legs, tugging it sideways to face him. You squealed as the chair jolted, screeching on the floor, tugging you closer as he leaned in. “Sei incantevole.”

“Are you charming me in Italian?” You smirk, a boyish smile on his face as he lounged back in his seat. “What are you doing here, anyway? Theo said none of you were flying in this year! I thought you couldn't make it.”

“I couldn't,” He sighed, shrugging, “But, then I heard that you would be here, without a date, and I knew I just had to make it. So, here I am, la mia bella donna. You think a short flight from Italy would stop me rushing over here to you?”

Your giggle was against your control. Even if he was more like family than a romantic interest, the way his accent twisted around coyly spoken words, was enough to bring a blush to even the most unreceptive woman’s face. “Cut it out, you flirt.”

“You’ll save me a dance later, right?”

“We’ll see.” He rose his brow, and you lifted your glass, taking a sip of bubbly to hide your smile, leaving him hanging. “Depends on how much more of your cheesy flirting I can endure.”

“You mean my wonderful Italian charm?” He teased, pinching one of your cheeks, and deepening the flush he had already created. “Don’t think I don’t see the way I make you blush.

You could only scoff, mouth dry as you tried to think of a retort, and you didn’t miss Theo muttering in Italian behind you, curse words you’d picked up on tumbling from his mouth. 

“Perhaps this can convince you,” Dario reaches for his inner pocket, producing a small, slim box. An excited squeak breaks from you as he hands it over, your fingers brushing the elegant leather, an Italian name embossed across the front. “Open it later, alright?”

You could only nod, admiring it happily, before slipping the box safely inside of your clutch. He took your hand, kissing your knuckles as he stood. A final wink as he offered you hid charming goodbyes, and a farewell to the rest of the table, before returning his borrowed chair to where he had taken it from. 

You watched as your friend left, disappearing into the crowd, no doubt to mingle and socialise as he had always been so good at, before you swung back around in your chair. 

“He taught you everything you know, huh, Nott?”

Theo only shrugged, a cheeky grin on his face. “What can I say, tesoro? We Nott men just have charm. We’ll woo your panties right off.” He winked, the cockiness not lasting long as Draco swung at him, a fist landing roughly on his arm as the Malfoy heir scowled, glaring at his best friend. 

“Cut it out.” He growled the words through gritted teeth, and your hand shot up, rubbing at your lip to hide your grin as Draco made no effort to hide his own emotions. Theo only laughed, rubbing at the patch on his arm he’d taken the hit.

Dessert was served, a beautiful display of ice cream and winter berries that almost looked too good to eat. The key word being almost. You hadn't been able to resist, however, and the first small groan you’d let out as the sugar hit your tongue had Draco’s gaze snapping straight to you. I did not leave, once, after. 

Instead, he watched, through a dark gaze, every curl of your lips around the spoon, every swipe of your tongue to catch the juice of burst berries. If you’d put on a little extra show, just for him, nobody else had to know. 

It was like he was staring right into your soul, so intense, even after the meal was long since finished. Finally, you indulged him once again, turning to look at him and raising a brow. “Yes, Draco?”

“You look beautiful tonight, I am simply admiring.” He let his gaze move across you slowly, making his admiration apparent, and his gaze lingered a fraction of a second longer on your neck. He stared at you with open adoration, the kind of look that told you exactly how he felt, even if he was fighting it, but he was close to breaking. He was close to losing this game he didn’t know he was playing. Then, his gaze flickered over your shoulder, sweet observation morphing. His brows drew together, his open hand slamming down on the table hard enough to make the glass rattle. “Oh, fucking hell…”

Mattheo erupted with sudden laughter, loud and brash, and there was a tap on your shoulder before you could even ask him what had him in such hysterics. A young man you did not know, perhaps a few years younger than you, and glanced around the table to see which of your friends had put this one together. Each seemed to have caught on in their own time, and had a hand in adding to the fun, to watch Draco suffer more, but none of them were laying any claim to this one. 

“I’ve been watching you all evening, and you are beautiful.” He smiled, stuttering over his words slightly, and Draco made no shy show of his disdain, rolling his eyes and making a disapproving sound. “I was wondering if you might grant me the pleasure of a dance?”

“She would dance with you,” Enzo interrupted, before you could speak at all, leaning forward toward the edge of your chair from his own, and you could have kissed him in gratitude for saving you. “But, she promised me her first dance. Isn’t that right, love? And I think now is the perfect time. Let’s go.”

Offering you his hand, you took it, letting him sweep you away without a second’s delay, navigating you both to the dance floor and twirling you expertly into his arms. One hand clasped your own, the other sitting at a respectable place on your waist, your own on his shoulder, and he fell into the well-rehearsed steps of a classical ballroom dance he’d been doing since he could walk. 

You let out a shaky sigh, relief flooding your veins as you looked back to your seat, noticing that the boy had taken Enzo’s rejection well and disappeared, not hanging around and waiting for your return. 

“You’re killing him slowly, like a predator playing with its prey,” Enzo smirked, neither of you needing to clarify who you were talking about, as he brought up his cousin. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” He chuckled, spinning you out before pulling you back in, sharp actions that made you dizzy with their accuracy, and you grinned as he brought you tumbling right back into his arms, perfectly. If he’d been trying to win you over, his dancing alone would’ve had you swooning. “You just show up to a fancy event like this, dripping in diamonds and pearls and looking like a million bucks, supposedly single. You mean to tell me you didn’t know that all these rich London boys wouldn't descend on you like vultures?”

“Not my fault I’m single and hot, Enz.”

He just laughed, dipping you a little. “We do struggle, don’t we.” You wove between people, a happy silence falling between you both once again as he guided you over the floor, back and forth, “Are you, though? Single, I mean.”

“That is up to your cousin.”

“Touché.”

You continued to move, until your feet were sore from all the twirling, clinging to Enzo in fits of giggles as he spun and twirled and dipped you more, hands on your waist as he lifted you through the air, making a show of his dancing. 

He may have seemed altruistic in his gestures, sweeping in to save you and Draco from your dance with the boy, but he was using you too. Enzo was taking every opportunity to show off his moves to every lady around the room watching, a flirty smile on his face between conversations and he glanced around, and you wouldn't be surprised if he received more offers than Theo or Dario by the end of the night. 

As the third song came to an end, and the music fell for just a second, you panted slightly, arm around his neck now, looking up at him with flushed cheeks and a bright smile. “Can we take a break?”

“Tired, already? You only gave me three so far.” He smirked at the way your jaw dropped, your face going hot and you knew your cheeks were red. You untangled yourself from his body, barely making it a step away from his laughter before he wrapped an arm around your waist, tugging you into his side. “Oh, c’mon. I thought the aim was to flirt and make him mad?”

“He’s not even here to listen!”

“I’m practising,” Enzo murmured, steering you towards the bar, and leaning on the wood as he flagged down the bartender. You were quickly served, by a woman who fawned over Enzo as she passed by, and you had to snap your fingers in front of his face to snap his gaze away from her retreating form. “So, how long are you going to make him—”

A tap on Enzo’s shoulder cut him off, and he turned to look, straightening up instantly from his slumped position. As soon as he moved so you could see, your relaxation melted away too, as you found yourself face to face with Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. 

“Lorenzo, I’ve hardly had a chance to talk to you all evening. I want to ask you about your schoolwork.” The impressively formal and deep voice of Lucius Malfoy settled over your skin like fresh snow, cold but smooth, and you shuddered. 

Narcissa only chuckled lightly at her husband’s words, her eyes on you. “You’ve been busy, though. Who is your lovely lady?”

“Uncle Lucius, Aunt Cissa. This is my friend, (Y/n).”

It wasn’t exactly the circumstances you’d wanted to meet them under, but you smiled nonetheless, nerves running wild as you offered your hand to them both, shaking politely just as your parents had taught you. 

“Ah, (Y/n). Yes. I make a point of knowing all of Draco’s school friends, but I’m in business with your father, aren’t I?” Something like a small kernel of sweetness was buried in that statement, his interest in his son’s life, even if he tried to hide it behind formalities, but it wasn’t your place to comment. 

“Yes, sir. That is correct.”

“They’re very proud of your schoolwork. They were telling me about your latest project. You synthesised a new potion to grow murkweed faster, is that true?”

You were surprised he knew so much, your small project submitted for Herbology was the last thing you’d expected Lucius Malfoy to know of, or take an interest in, and your mouth felt like sandpaper as you tried to form words. “Yes. Yes, sir. That’s right.”

“Interesting.” That calculating gaze scanned over you, analysing you from head to toe, like he could see right through you with a single glance. “That is impressive, for someone of your age. I’d be open to learning more. Are you considering making a future out of your alchemy talents? I have connections that I could contact for you.” 

You were speechless, your stomach going wild with butterflies born of both excitement and anxiety. He smirked, a look that would set you on edge if you weren’t sure deep down that this was in your interests, not against them. 

“Perhaps we can discuss it more soon, when we next see you. With Enzo?”

Enzo’s arm around your waist shifted, a reassuring weight that you were sure had been your only grounding presence for this surreal conversation. He patted your hip encouragingly. “Oh, no, we aren’t…” 

Motioning between you both, Lucius’ brows furrowed, and Narcissa tried to hide her sigh.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Aunt Cissa. (Y/n) isn’t mine, though it is wonderful that you approve.” Before either could question him, or expand on their confusion, Enzo gave your waist a final rub, before removing his touch from you entirely, and stepping towards his family. “Shall we go and discuss schoolwork then, Uncle? You have questions, and I have answers. I hope the ones you want.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss (Y/l/n).” Lucius politely offered you his hand again, shaking it firmly, and that was about as friendly a dismissal as you’d ever get from him, you’d heard. This was only supported by the surprised look on Narcissa’s face, and the beam Enz gave you as he guided his uncle away. 

“I hope to see you again soon, (Y/n). You look wonderful this evening, thank you for coming.” Narcissa murmured, before following her husband and nephew, glancing back at you only once over her shoulder. She knew. The woman was far more cunning than she let on, the true embodiment of a sneaky Slytherin, observing quietly and taking everything in. Her eyes glinted. She knew you knew she knew, too.

Your heart was pounding, cheeks warm as you lifted your fingers to them cautiously. The disappointed waitress placed down two drinks before you, Enzo long gone without his, but you smiled at her with appreciation, fingers shaking a little as you lifted the glass to your lips to take a sip. 

You’d spoken to Draco’s parents. 

They’d liked you. Lucius had offered to put you onto the career path, and Narcissa had complimented your dress. A soft laugh of disbelief slipped free, your eyes sliding closed for just a second as you revelled in the moment. 

It hasn’t been what you’d set out for tonight, but it was far more than what you’d hoped for. Opening your eyes again, to head back to the table and find Draco, you were met by the sight of a stranger leaning before you on the bar, grinning down at you in amusement. “Hello.”

“Hi.” You gave a terse smile, and a single nod. “If you’ll excuse me—”

“I didn’t even get to ask you to dance yet. Saw you out on the floor with the Berkshire boy, earlier, and I thought—”

“I’m dancing with her next, mate. Piss off.” 

Draco rarely sounded that mad, a chill went down your spine as you felt an arm slide around your waist, tugging you back into his chest. “Dray…”

The stranger only scoffed, glaring at Draco as he wandered away, and your hand reached for his forearm on your body. He snatched it away too soon, however, tugging on your hip to turn you around. His jaw was clenched tight, eyes more frozen than the coldest glacier. “Dance with me.”

Not a request, and he didn’t wait for an answer, before plucking your drink from your hand and slamming it down onto the bar, guiding you back to the swaying bodies. Standing before you, you offered him your hand, your hand sitting lightly on his shoulder. He didn’t take the respectable route, instead, his arm wrapped tight around your waist, sweeping you close to his body, and beginning to move you both in simple steps. 

It was several minutes before he relaxed, your arm sliding further around his neck in a more intimate hold, bringing the two of you much closer, swaying slowly. The tension in his body gave way with every step, and with a resigned sigh, he finally spoke, “You met my parents.”

“I did. They were lovely. Very curious about Enzo and I’s relationship.”

His hand clenched on your waist, and you tipped your head at him as his piercing gaze drilled into you. One more move…

“Oh, don’t be so mad, Dray. We’re only shagging, after all. You’ll find a new girl if I get swept away by someone else.”

His eyes narrowed, jaw clenching, and a fire burned in those silver eyes now, melting the ice away with rage. Checkmate.

“You win, alright? I’m not playing this stupid game any longer.” He took a deep breath, and another, fingers twitching on your back as jealousy bubbled under the surface. “For fucks sake, how many pieces of jewellery from other guys are you wearing? Who bought you those earrings, that necklace? I should be the only one buying you gifts. I should be the one spoiling you. You want the Malfoy family ring? I’ll go yank it off my mother’s engagement ring from her finger right now, just take all this off.”

He studied you for a second, confusion growing at the smirk that grew on your lips. Victory was yours, and you leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss to his cheek. Letting the hand from his neck smooth down his chest, his gaze stayed locked on the jewels around your neck, glaring angrily. “No.”

“No?”

“No. It’s pretty. I’m going to keep wearing it all, let it remind you what you have. Next time you piss me off, forget a date, or use the last of my shampoo, I’m going to put it all back on so you can remember how many guys would jump at the chance.” His nostrils flared, but he stayed silent, wisely knowing when to keep his mouth shut. “I don’t want your family ring, Malfoy. Not yet. I just want a proper title, and the respect that comes with it. I’m not your booty call, or your side piece. You don’t want to play games anymore? Then don’t.”

“You already won.” He whispers, his head dropping down to let his forehead rest on your own. “You know how much you mean to me.”

“Yes, I do. But I want the whole world to know it, too, Dray.”

He didn’t respond verbally. Instead, he twisted his head, enough to press his mouth to your own, silencing any more arguments between you both as he kissed you. His lips claimed yours, a tender and loving kiss, showing everyone just how much you meant to him. There was no mistaking the emotions within it, not as his arms wrapped around your body, holding you to him as the pretence of dancing was given up, your hand on the back of his head, fingers in his hair, meeting every push and pull.

When he pulled away, your smile took over, bashful now under his openly adoring gaze, and he stole several more pecks from your lips. A happy sound escaped you as he tugged you in, tucking his face into your neck, and swaying you both to the music. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You have, but I’d be open to hearing it again.” Your hand smoothed over his hair, and he chuckled against your skin, leaving a kiss on the crook of your neck before raising to meet your eye. 

“You are breathtaking, darling. I’m in awe. This colour is my favourite, you know.”

“Why do you think I wore it?”

His fingers trailed down your spine, eyes sparkling even more at that revelation. “How about we get out of here? We’ll make our goodbyes to my parents, and head out.”

“Our goodbyes?” You repeated as he took your hand, lacing your fingers together. 

“Yes. From their son and his girlfriend. I think you deserve a proper introduction, after all.”

Tugging you across the floor, he gave you no time to prepare, and certainly, none to disagree, as you smoothed your hair and attempted to control the blush he’d brought to your cheeks. Through the crowds he wove, until he was pulling to a stop just shy of his parents, and Enzo looked as though he could have cried with relief when Lucius’ intense focus was taken away from him. The boy quickly slipped away as both of Draco’s parents turned to face you. 

“Miss (Y/l/n), when we said we hoped to see you again soon, I didn’t realise you’d take it quite this literally.” He murmured, voice as low and calm as always, and your lips parted, a different kind of heat flooding your features. 

“Oh, behave now, Lucius,” Narcissa grinned, her gaze dropping to your clasped hands, before she reached up to her son’s face, pinching his cheek with a smile. “Draco, darling, I’ve hardly seen you all evening.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you Mother, but we’ll be leaving early.” She only gave him a knowing look, ignoring Lucius’ displeased huff, as if she wasn’t surprised at all. 

“‘We’?”

“My girlfriend and I.” He said, proud and strong, before tugging you forward a little more to stand in front of him. His hand left your own, circling your waist instead, and she offered him a smile at the news. 

“I see.” She smiled, patting her son’s cheek affectionately, before turning that knowing gaze on you. “Now Lorenzo’s evasiveness whenever I asked him about you makes sense.”

“You asked about me?” Your words were a rushed squeak, which only seemed to amuse Narcissa more. 

“Of course, dear. I wanted to know more about you. I’d ask you to sit and chat with me for a spell, but I believe my son might combust if I did.”

“Mother!” He gasped, and Lucius only tutted. 

“Draco.” His father growled softly, shaking his head, and the red on his son’s cheeks only grew.

“You both may go, for now. But I hope you’ll visit me soon, and we might talk?”

“You mean… just us?” Your words tapered off to a near whisper, and Lucius smirked to himself as Draco rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, dear. We’ll have tea.”

You could only nod, bidding your final farewells to them both in a state of awe, before Draco was hurrying you along. Tight hands gripping your waist, lips on your neck as he loved you through the crowds, swiping up your bag and giving you barely a moment to say goodbye to your friends before sweeping you away again. It was only due to the snow falling outside, you were sure, that he allowed you to stop long enough to get your coats. 

Helping you, he lifted the garment onto you from behind, kissing your cheek as he reached around your body to fasten it. His elegant coat was already on, and leather gloves were on his hands as he offered you one. Lacing your fingers through his own, he smiled, tugging you out into the freezing night, and ushering you around the side of the Manor, away from the stream of cars lined up for guests as they left. 

“Where are we going, Dray?” 

“To one of the gardens near the path.” He never turned back, leading you carefully around patches of ice and slippery snow as you moved, the light from the house fading. It was almost pitch black, before he mumbled a small spell, and the garden lights glowed to light, glittering on the fresh blanket of ice. 

Sitting on the grass was an old-fashioned sleigh, enchanted to keep dry, even in the snow, and two reindeer sat happily in the snow snuffling at the grass and scattered food. 

The landscape stretched out far before you both, trees and grass and walls all covered in snow like something from a Christmas card, and the sigh that left your lips clouded in the air before your face. 

“Oh, Draco…” Taking a few steps closer, snow-tipped over the tops of your heels as you stepped off the pathway onto the grass, chilling your feet for only a second, before Draco was following. Scooping you up into his arms, you kicked the ice from your feet with a giggle, your arms looping around his neck. “What’s all this?”

“This is your Christmas present. I didn’t realise that was the kind of ice you wanted instead.” He muttered, eyes flicking down to your neck, as he carried you carefully through the snow and towards the ornate sleigh. As you leaned in to kiss his cheek, he smiled shyly, avoiding your gaze as he became embarrassed, “I wanted to do something romantic for you. We can take the sleigh back to the town, get a cab, and take the jet anywhere you want to go. Pansy already packed a bag for you.”

He placed you down on the edge of the sleigh, letting you shuffle across onto the warmed leather. With another kiss to your lips, he scoffed at your smile. 

“Merry Christmas, my wicked little girlfriend.”

“I can’t believe you arranged all this.” You were practically bouncing in your seat, watching as Draco nervously tugged on the reins, prompting the lazy animals to stand back up, before settling into the sleigh himself. Like they knew just what to do, they took off in a slow trot, tugging the pair of you along through the snow. 

“Maybe if you’d have waited, instead of making me fight for my life tonight, you’d have been surprised.”

His arm was splayed along the back of the seat, and you snuggled in a little closer to him. Curling his arm around you, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, shaking his head and burying his nose in your hair. “If I didn’t make you fight for me, Dray, you’d probably have introduced me to your mother as your study partner. I gave you a little push, that’s all.”

“Is that so?” He muttered, guiding your face up so he could peck your lips. “Who do you think helped me arrange all of this for my ‘lovely lady friend’, hm? I’ve been writing to my mother about having an interest in someone for months now. You underestimate me.”

“You never gave me any other indication!” 

“Oh, please. You walk me like a damn dog, you knew how I felt.” His mouth closed over your own, stealing a kiss, and you couldn't help but smile into it. “I think tonight just proves it.”

The sleigh trotted on as Draco kissed you in the back, beyond thought and reason, your hands tucked into his coat for warmth as he kept you cuddled in close to his side. 

Minutes melted away, the two of you lost in your own world as you jostled and trotted through the fields, back toward the town. Whatever he had planned, it had been in motion for days, and the thought only made you fall a little more in love with him. Perhaps you had underestimated him, but none of it mattered now, not when he was kissing you like you were his only way to breathe, and you had him in your arms, properly, at last.

“So, Pansy knew about your little plan?”

“Yes. I told her days ago.” 

“Hm…” You loved her, and it was perhaps her knowledge of Draco’s actions that made this all the funnier. “So, she knew about your plan, and mine. And still, she made sure to introduce guys to me all night. She played us both just for her own amusement.”

As you thought of her, your fingers lifted to your neck, sitting on the delicate jewellery there, and Draco huffed. Looping his finger underneath it, he tugged lightly. “Can you take this off now, please?”

“Why would I do that?” His pout deepened, glaring at the offending item, and you gave in with an airy laugh. “Pansy, Daph and Tori picked it out personally.”

“What?” His head snapped up, pout gone as his jaw dropped, and he was not laughing like you were. “You let me believe another guy decked you out in diamonds all night! What about the matching earrings?”

“Blaise.”

“The bracelet?”

“Theo and the Notts.” 

At that mention, his eyes narrowed again, searching for your clutch and finding it resting in your lap. “But Theo’s cousin Mario gave you a separate gift.”

“Dario.” You corrected, and he mimicked it childishly, scoffing afterwards. “Well, that part was real. He truly was flirting, and I have no idea what it is, I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Give it to me.” He reached for your bag, a second too slow as you swiped it away from him with a gasp. He didn’t give up, still trying to snatch it as he leaned over you, pressing you back into the seat through fits of laughter, the two of you fighting over the bag until it was pressed to your chest, your eyes wide as you stared up at him, shaking your head. “Give it to me! I’m chucking it, hand it over!”

“No, it’s mine!” He slumped back into his seat, panting for breath and smoothing his hair back down. He was pointedly staring away in the opposite direction, and when you leaned in closer with a chuckle, he leaned away. Grabbing his shoulder, you planted yourself firmly in his lap, kissing the underside of his jaw. “I’m keeping it, but your present is better, I just know it. Whatever it is, could never beat this.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, Dray.” 

He gave in, wrapping his arms around your waist, tugging you in closer to his body and pressing a happy kiss to your cheek. “Fine, but I’m buying you a new necklace when we get off the damn plane. I don’t care who bought that one.”

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy/reader #draco malfoy/you #harry potter #slytherin boys #tom felton #draco malfoy x y/n

[washeduphazbin]

Hi, I would like to ask for a smut from Adam x fem Reader, his dear wife is going to pay him a visit at his work and in the end they almost get paid for lute

New Eve (Adam x Fem! Wife! Reader)

-SMUT AHEAD MINORS DNI-

Other warnings: Adam Being Adam

I hope I wrote this ask and understood it correctly! Adam is my guilty pleasure. I love men who are dumb as rocks and who are going to be absolutely leashed by even stronger women.

REQUESTS OPEN

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

There's a saying that all good things come in threes, Lilith, Eve, and you. Adam's final wife, who physically couldn't be swayed by Lucifer because Adam had met you in Heaven. When you passed through the pearly gates, you were greeted by none other than the first human himself. You were in awe for about two seconds until you quickly gathered the first man was a complete and utter dickhead. He seemed to falter when you walked past him to greet an angel named Lute, Adam's second in command. She tensed a little as you introduced yourself, ignoring Adam's protests that dubbed you a Queen Mega Bitch.

All this to say, it took about three months before Lute caught Adam sticking his tongue down your throat with you latched onto him like a koala. You made a distressed sound at being caught while listening to Adam laugh above you. You distinctly heard him call your mouth as good as a vagina while pressing a kiss to your hairline. "Adam!" You hissed, pulling on the horns of his mask as he let out a defiant sound, "Inappropriate."

"Ugh yeah, that's kind of my thing, sugar tits."

"You need to not make it your thing, or this thing doesn't happen." You drew your line in the metaphorical sand before marching out of the room, faintly hearing Lute argue about Adam's behavior behind you.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Two years later, you were Adam's new 'Eve' in heaven with two golden rings to prove the love that formed between the two of you...somehow. Did the both of you fight constantly? Yes. Did you want to wring his neck every time he opened the gaping hole he called a mouth? Also Yes. But did you love him...unfortunately. Even though he had a laundry list of bad habits, a vulgar mouth, and gross hobbies, he had his moments. He was protective, fiercely so, and despite his fuck boy personality, he only had his sights set on you. Lute often asked you what you saw in Adam, and you'd reluctantly sigh and give a tired grin, "He makes me laugh. Plus, with proper motivation, he's putty in my hand." Lute made a sound of understanding, nodding her head,

"Ah, yes. Use your feminine wiles to control those weaker than you, even if they may be physically stronger. We must use what we are given as women. Well, you must. I'm very strong without using that to my advantage."

"Yes, exactly," You snickered as Lute stopped outside Adam's office. "Which is exactly why Sera put me in charge of convincing Adam to meet with The Morningstar's daughter." You groaned, rubbing the bridge of your nose, "I'll see you back here later, then?"

"Yes, ma'am." Lute bowed, "I wish you luck...you'll need it. He's in one of his moods." before taking off into the sky and down the hall. You reached up with a stretch of your arms, fluffing up your wings to look extra pretty before knocking on Adam's door,

"Adam." You hummed, knocking on the grand marble door once before opening it. You leaned against the entranceway, wings brushing against the floor, as his head shot up.

"Sugartits!"

"Not my name!" You dodged Adam's hug with a flurry of your wings; he grinned, shoving the door closed with his hip. "Adam," you said in warning as he used his angelic magic to fly towards you and trap you within his arms.

"and what would you prefer I call you? My Bitch? Wifey?" He mused, peppering sloppy kisses against your cheek and down your neck. "We could go with Queen or Goddess, preferably." You shot back, dragging Adam down to sit in his chair; you hummed gently, removing his mask from his face. He leaned back, kicking his legs up on the desk as you slid down into his chest, straddling his hips. You hummed, running your fingers through his brown hair, and he melted into your touch, "My name works, too."

"I guess we can settle on Queen. Does that make me your King?" Adam preened as you scratched under his chin,

"Without a doubt...but we must talk about the Young Morningstar."

"Who?" He made a faux confused face which you raised an eyebrow back at in response, "Ugh, Lucifer's cunt daughter. What about her?"

"She's been begging for a meeting. I suggest you meet with her." Your lips began to trail down his neck, nipping at his skin as his body flushed.

"But that's so much work, sugar." He groaned, running his clawed hands through your hair, "Can't I just say fuck off back to hell we're gonna exterminate all of you regardless."

"Sera wants you to at least meet with her one time; she's giving you a lot of trust to handle this on your own."

"And if I do what you ask, what'll you give me?" He mused, eyes sparkling. You huffed, hitting him with the back of your wing, and he laughed, "Come on, you gotta sweeten the deal for me, mama."

"You're such a bastard." You huffed, moving to pull your hair out of your face. He moved his legs to the ground, and you could slide between his knees. "Robe off unless you want dirty," you commanded as Adam fumbled out of it quickly.

"I love you~" He leaned back with a sly grin, hand reaching up to move your head closer to his lip. Your fingers spread across his thighs, and you huffed softly, looking up at him.

"I love you more. If I do this for you, you promise to meet with young Lady Morningstar?"

"You can't just fuck me because you love me?"

"Bite me." You sneered, but there wasn't any malice in your voice as he stood up, picking you up off the ground and pressing your back against his desk.

"Oh, it would be my pleasure. I can't say your robes will survive, though I might need to get you some new ones." Adam popped the buttons on your robe, allowing your body to be laid bare for his eyes. He watched your breathing hitch as his long claw trailed down your neck to your chest. "Fuck I love these puppies, you know that?" Adam grinned, grabbing fistfuls of your breasts, squeezing and kneading to his heart's content. Your husband was like an oversized golden retriever. When he sees something he likes, he obsesses over it like a man deranged. His favorite playthings of yours were your tits and ass. "Any meetings?"

"None. I'm yours for the rest of the day. You can mark me how you'd like; I'm yours, my husband. Well, until you meet with the Princess."

"Fuckkkkk yeah, baby, come 'ere." Adam dove between your breasts, and he felt you suck in air through your teeth. He began to bite and suck on the supple flesh of your chest; you keened, arching into his mouth, hands tangling in his brown hair. You could tell from the way his teeth would graze against your nipples and your flesh he was doing everything in his power to leave marks on the skin.

"Adam...ngh." You panted, feeling his hand move down from your breast to slide down your stomach and between your legs. "Shit," You squeaked, feeling him tease your clit with his thumb and forefinger with a dopey grin on his face.

"There's my favorite girl," He flicked your nub skillfully; for being a massive asshole, this prick sure knew where to find your clit. One finger slid between your folds, and you tossed your head against the cold marble desk. "Damn, only one finger has you acting up? I must not be treating you good enough," He purred as another finger entered you, stretching you out to be big enough for, 'the first ever man god created.' Adam watched with delight as your wings spread out and trembled, glowing with a soft golden glow. "That's it, you're being such a good girl for me. Are you ready?"

"Yes." You panted, "Adam, please."

"God, you beg so nicely, you little slut," His hand reached up to grip your throat, causing you to let out a desperate whine, hips bucking into his fingers. "Beg Harder," He demanded, moving your hand to palm him through his trousers, stiff and aching. "Look at how hard you make me. How desperate. I need you to worship your god."

"Yes, sir." You purred, "You're my God, Adam. I need you, I'd worship for your love, your touch, your dick." You dragged your hand up your chest, playing with the swell of your own breast, "Don't you want to make me happy, baby?"

"More than anything." Adam's eyes lit up in elation, "Stay with me. Don't go to Lucifer. You're mine." He snarled, hands around your throat, "Say it."

"I'm with you. Only you. Forever Adam." His entire body seemed to relax when you said that, pressing gentle kisses to your cheek and lips. "I love you, you annoying Dickweed."

"Love you more, Sugartits." He grinned cheekily before lowering himself to you with a hiss-like laugh. "Tight as ever, and that's why I love you,"

"If you keep talking nonsense while you're literally inside me, I'll cut off your dick,"

"Sounds kinky."

"Adam."

"Fine, Fine, you're so vanilla." He mused, albeit his tone was much softer, fonder than his earlier teasing. His hands grabbed under your knees and pressed you close with a snap of his hips. You both let out a moan, yours higher pitched and needier, bucking your hips, searching for more friction than he was currently providing. You always savored the way he was able to fill you up, he wasn't the longest but god was he thick filling you in all the right ways. Every time his hips snapped into you, you could feel just how deep he kissed your cervix. "Yeah, you like that?" He panted, "Like how deep I'm getting? From the way you're dripping, you're practically soaking through my table. Your vag is like a vice, babe, so tight for this big cock."

"Hm. Your words always know how to turn me o-ng-ff." You moaned out this end at a particularly sharp thrust of his hips. "Fuck you," You panted as he grinned down at you,

"Good news, wifey, that's exactly what we're doing-"

"Sir!" You let out a scream as Lute slammed the door of his office open, you climbed against Adam's body like an embarrassed Nun. He groaned, still inside you but having the decency to cover you with his wings.

"What do you need, Lute? I'm a little busy getting it on with my sexy ass wife." Adam complained, motioning to the top of your head, to which you made an embarrassed sound of mortification. "Can this be rescheduled or-"

"The Princess of Hell is here, Sir. She just showed up-"

"Are you for real telling me that the bitch Princess of Hell is seriously cucking me right now?!"

"...Yes."

"(Y/n) If I killed her for interrupting us, would you be pissed?"

"Beyond Adam."

"Fuck."

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #x reader #fem reader #adam x reader #adam x you #hazbin hotel adam x reader #smut #requests open #reader insert #hazbin hotel smut

[ellemj]

Bigger Than He Was

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader One-Shot: SMUT

Request by @littlemiss-yeehaw: jealous!Bucky, fake dating, handjob.

Summary: Bucky pretends to be your new man when you run into your ex in public. However, the little act of pretending sparks something inside of him that he didn't know was there.

Warnings: profanity, alcohol consumption, handjob, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, slight size kink, jealous!Bucky, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Word Count: 7.8k

A/N: The first request I wrote from the smut menu had to be from my Tumblr best friend. Not only does she pre-read nearly everything that I post, but she keeps me from deleting my blog on a near daily basis, and she keeps me sane. I hope you all enjoy it as much as she did. If it wasn't for this girl, my blog would've been deleted before Needs & Wants was ever completed lmao.

            You’ve decided that no one in the world looks more out of place than a super soldier in a grocery store. Specifically, a super soldier in the produce aisle of a small local market. He looks like a bull in a China shop as he scours through a bin of tomatoes to find ones he approves of. He holds one tomato in each of his leather gloved hands as he compares them carefully, acting like choosing between the two is every bit as difficult as deciding whether someone lives or dies in his usual line of work.

            “They’re pretty much the same, Bucky, and we only need two. Just put them in a bag.”  You say with a sigh, resting your elbows on the handle of the shopping cart that you’ve been pushing as you’ve trailed behind him. Though you’re the one carrying the team’s grocery list, Bucky’s been the one pulling things off of the shelves and setting them in the cart. You originally suggested each of you taking half of the list and splitting up to get the shopping done faster, and to avoid the pointless arguments and annoyances you’d face in each other’s presence, but Bucky’s only response to your idea was a furrowed brow and silence. So, you’ve been following him around with the shopping cart safely between the two of you.

            Bucky starts to put both of the tomatoes down and pick two different ones just to bother you, but he takes the high road and bags the two he’s already holding instead. He’s usually assigned to grocery shopping with Sam, which he definitely prefers, but with Sam off to visit his family this week, he ended up being stuck with you.

            “What’s next?” Bucky asks, setting the plastic bag of produce in the cart and then casting you a sideways glance. You cross tomatoes off of the small piece of paper in your hand before moving on to read the next item.

            “We’re done with food items, next is ibuprofen, melatonin, and some feminine products.” You answer, lifting your gaze to meet his as you tap the pen against the piece of paper absentmindedly. Bucky nods curtly and starts leading the way down the aisle, knowing all of the aisles with medication, first aid, and toiletry type supplies are on the opposite end of the store. You follow a few feet behind him, missing your usual shopping buddy, Wanda. Though it’s a menial task, you always seem to have a fun time when the two of you are on the grocery schedule for the week. Bucky is a stark contrast to your far more bubbly, lighthearted friend.

            You’re lost in thought as you turn a corner and enter the pharmacy aisle, not paying any attention as Bucky looks through various types of over-the-counter medications. It isn’t until you hear a voice one aisle over that you straighten up and tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. The voice sounds familiar, so familiar that you find your ears straining to hear it better so you can identify it. Is it an old friend? Someone from SHIELD? You can’t be sure, but you’re starting to think it isn’t a friend by the way your nerves seem to be rising with every incoherent word that they mutter. You leave Bucky standing at one end of the aisle as you walk ahead, trying to get closer to the source of the voice. You’re nearly at the opposite end of the aisle when suddenly, the front end of another shopping cart appears and quickly turns in front of you, almost colliding with the front end of yours. You stop abruptly for two reasons. The first reason being so you don’t cause a pileup on aisle thirteen. The second reason being because you now see whose voice was causing your heart rate to elevate and your stomach to twist into a knot. Your fucking ex-boyfriend.

            “Oh, wow, hey!” The man before you extends the greeting so casually, as if he didn’t waste a year of your life with meaningless words and empty promises. He raises a hand to rub the back of his neck, his eyes darting over his shoulder just as a pretty blonde woman steps into view. Oh. “This is uh, this is my girlfriend.” He gestures to the woman before looking back at you with a wary glance, clearly trying to gauge how you feel about him committing to someone new so soon. The woman offers a small smile and wave as she introduces herself by name, but it all goes right over your head. You’re frozen like a deer in headlights, unable to tear your eyes away from the piece of shit behind the cart full of organic produce and a questionable amount of wine.

            Bucky’s watching everything unfold from a few yards behind, acting as if he’s still deciding between a name brand bottle of ibuprofen and a generic version of the same. He gives you a few seconds to soak in the obviously awkward social situation as his eyes analyze your body language. You’re tense, your grip on the handle of the shopping cart is so tight that your knuckles are turning white. It’s been ten seconds since the woman introduced herself to you and you still haven’t uttered a word. Bucky glances to his right and notices the selection of condoms, lube, and pregnancy tests spread over the shelves next to the medication section. He only takes a second to weigh his options: let you continue to flounder in front of your shitty ex and his new victim or offer you an easy reprieve while simultaneously sending your ex into a mental spiral. His gloved hand wraps around a couple of boxes of pregnancy tests and he pulls them off of the shelf, signifying he’s chosen the latter.

            “Oh, trying for a baby?” Your ex jokes when Bucky approaches from behind you and drops a handful of pregnancy tests into the cart.

            “No, it’s just smart to have a few of these on hand when we only ever fuck raw. Do we know you?” Bucky’s tone is calm and even, like he’s just said something completely within the ordinary. It breaks you out of the trance you were in and you blink your eyes as you feel the heat from Bucky’s body enveloping you in warmth. He cages your body between his and the cart, his chest brushing against your back as he places his hands on either side of yours on the shopping cart handle. You don’t see the way his lips curve upward into a shit-eating grin as your ex’s face falls at both Bucky’s unfiltered words and the public display of affection he’s witnessing.

            “Aren’t you…” The man addresses Bucky with slightly widened eyes and an unsure voice. You almost laugh at the effect Bucky has on the poor guy’s demeanor, and the fact that Bucky towers a few inches over the man is just icing on the cake.

            “Bucky.” Your ex has just realized that not only are you grocery shopping with the Winter Soldier, but you’ve also been letting him fuck you.

---

            Your week has been full of unexpected moments, but two stand out in particular. The first moment was when Bucky so calmly chose to play the role of your fake boyfriend at the grocery store three nights ago. Nearly every waking moment since then has been spent replaying it in your head, wondering why he decided to step in and do that for you, why he decided to take such a blunt approach and tell your ex that the two of you prefer unprotected sex, and how the hell he acted as if nothing happened immediately after the interaction was over. The second moment is unfolding right now. Your eyes are locked in on your phone screen as you mull over the text that’s displayed there.

            Are you free tonight? Would love to sit down and catch up, want to talk about things.

            You don’t have the number saved in your phone but you know exactly who it is. It’s the same shitty ex you ran into two nights ago, the same one who now thinks you’re fucking the Winter Soldier. Before you’ve even considered responding, a second message from the same unsaved number rolls in.

            I’ll be at the bar we used to go to, the one off of 83rd street, in an hour. Hope to see you there.

            The way your face scrunches up in confusion at the sight of the two texts on your phone screen piques Bucky’s interest as he steps off of the elevator and uses the collar of his t-shirt to dab sweat off of his neck. He’s just finished a pretty strenuous workout and had every intention of heading straight to his room to shower and spend the rest of the night in there, but he can’t ignore the feeling of some kind of invisible string tugging him in your direction. It was only two nights ago that he pressed himself against you in the grocery store and pretended like he knew what it’s like to have you in his bed.  It was only two nights ago that you became a near constant thought in the back of his mind.

            “Don’t tell me he texted you.” Bucky’s voice catches you off guard. You lift your gaze from your phone screen and lean back into the couch cushions, attempting to look perfectly at ease in his presence. Truth be told, you’ve been a little on edge around him since the night in the grocery store, but you don’t know why. Maybe because he saw you in such an embarrassing and vulnerable moment, in your own personal hell.

            “He didn’t text me.” You lie, watching him carefully as the elevator doors close behind him and he takes the few steps across the room to reach the sectional you’re currently lounging on. It’s odd to see him sink into the opposite end of the piece of furniture so comfortably, like he’s such a normal guy. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him sit in the living room of his own free will, and it’s a sight to see.

            “You’re a bad liar.” Bucky huffs. His expression turns thoughtful as he thinks back to his encounter with your ex that night. The corners of Bucky’s lips curl up into a smile when he remembers the way the guy practically shrank when he heard that the two of you like to fuck raw. “What does he want?” Bucky seems to have a sixth sense about this shit, so you decide to go with it and tell him the truth, see where it gets you.

            “He said he wants to catch up and talk about things.”

            “Right after seeing you with another guy.” Bucky points out, hoping you’ll see where this is going. You shrug your shoulders and cross your arms over your chest.

            “I guess so, or maybe it’s unrelated. People break up and then discuss it later for closure sometimes, it’s a thing, Bucky.”

            “So, you’re going?”

            “I haven’t decided yet.” You answer honestly. You watch as Bucky nods slowly, as if he’s digesting the information and deciding what to do with it. He uses the collar of his t-shirt to wipe a bit of sweat away from his neck again, drawing your gaze down to the flexing of his bicep. You’re quick to avert your gaze back up to his eyes, but the satisfied smirk on his face tells you that he caught you looking.

            “We’re going.” Bucky decides, sitting up a little straighter on the couch and running a hand through his sweaty hair. The bewildered look that takes over your face says it all.

            “What the hell do you mean we’re going? There’s no we here, it’s just me.”

            “I meant exactly what I said, we’re going.”

---

            You stand in the garage of the compound, where everyone’s various vehicles are stored away safely. Your fingers pick at the frays of your black jeans absentmindedly as you lean against a concrete pillar, waiting for Bucky. You know you should just get in your own car and leave without him, there’s absolutely no good that will come out of letting him tag along for this. Yet, something in the back of your mind is tugging at you to stay and wait for him, to see what might come of this. Looking up at your reflection in the car window a few feet away from you, you take in the sight of your little ensemble. You’re wearing dark jeans paired with a tight little long-sleeved crop top that shows the tiniest bit of your midriff. You wanted to wear something fairly plain yet something that showed a little skin, so this is what you settled on.

            Unbeknownst to you, Bucky’s outfit for tonight will go well with your own. He’s wearing dark jeans as well, but with a dark t-shirt and black leather jacket. As the elevator carries him down to the lowest floor of the compound, he has a brief second of clarity where he asks himself what the fuck he thinks he’s doing. First, he went against every rational thought in his mind when he pretended to be your boyfriend in a damn grocery store. Then, he spent two nights thinking about what it might’ve been like if he actually had been fucking you raw like he’d told to your ex he was. Those two nights ruined him. You ruined him. It took less than 48 hours for his mind to become completely preoccupied with you.

            When the elevator slows to a stop and the doors slide open to let him into the private parking garage beneath the compound, his eyes fall on you instantly. Fuck. One look at you and he’s immediately decided that you’re not taking a car, no, you’re taking his bike. Hell, you’re dressed near-perfectly for it. The only issue is that bit of smooth skin you have showing beneath the hem of your little top, he’s not going to take you out on his bike and risk ruining that perfect skin of yours with road rash.

            The ding of the elevator draws your attention to your right, where Bucky is stepping into the parking garage looking totally different than when you saw him upstairs half an hour ago. His messy hair has been washed and dried, his flesh and metal biceps are hidden within the sleeves of his leather jacket, and his neck is no longer glistening with a sheen of sweat. You’re unashamedly focusing on the way his jeans are accentuating the muscles of his thighs when he starts stripping off his leather jacket.

            “Put this on.” He says as he holds the jacket out to you with one hand, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans with the other to fish out the key for his bike. Your eyes widen as you stare at the jacket in his outstretched hand. Shaking your head, you take a step back from him.

            “Why?”

            “Because you’re not riding on the back of my bike with skin showing, it’s not safe.”

            “The back of your bike? Bucky, we’re taking a car.” You say defiantly, crossing your arms over your chest. Bucky can’t ignore the way your breasts are slightly pushed up by the action, a hint of cleavage peeking out over the lowcut neckline of your top. He quickly averts his gaze back to his motorcycle that stands a few feet in front of you both, a sigh leaving his lips at your stubbornness.

            “Just put on the damn jacket.” He says, looking over at you one more time, but this time with a softened expression. You don’t know why you comply and take the jacket from him, but you do. It’s warmed from his body heat when you slip your arms into it and the way it engulfs you and pulls down on your shoulders with a bit of weight is almost comforting.

            The motorcycle ride to the bar, however, is anything but comforting. The only other time you’ve ever been so close to Bucky was that night at the grocery store when he cozied up behind you for show. But this felt different. This involved your chest pressed against his back, your inner thighs brushing against his hips, and your arms wrapped around his torso. This felt intimate. It felt the same way to Bucky and he couldn’t ignore it, no matter how hard he tried. When he stopped at a redlight in the city, you let your hold around his abdomen relax for a moment. Your hands slid down to rest on the tops of his thighs as you remained pressed against his back, and he was praying for the light to turn green again before one of your hands had a chance to shift and find out how hard he was beneath the fabric of his jeans. He can only blame himself for the torture, since he was the one that insisted you take the bike.

            When you turn onto the right street, you’re quick to tap Bucky’s thigh with your hand, completely missing the way he tenses up beneath your unexpected touch. You use that same hand to point to a small parking garage across the street from the bar that you’ll be heading into, and Bucky gets the signal. It’s only two minutes later that he’s parking his bike on the third floor of the garage and trying to keep his eyes off of you as you stand beside the bike, removing your helmet carefully. Some part of him can’t help but think that you’re being so careful because you want to look your best when you waltz into the bar to meet your ex, and he fucking hates it. He has the sudden urge to mess your hair up and send you in there looking like shit. But that urge only makes him think about all of the ways he could mess your hair up. He could grab you by it and pull you against him, he could run his hands through it and rake it into a ponytail while you’re on your knees for him…shit. He just volunteered to drive you to the bar to meet your ex. He can’t do a damn thing.

            You hand Bucky your helmet and immediately start smoothing down your hair, seeing the look of disdain he gives you but choosing to ignore it. He had no obligation to be here with you tonight, but he insisted, so he has to put up with it.

            “You don’t have to go in with me, I can do this on my own.” You say, hoping Bucky will choose to wait for you in the parking garage rather than go inside the bar with you.

            “What are you planning to do?” Bucky asks, swinging his leg over as he dismounts the bike and joins you on the concrete floor. He stands in front of you, slipping his gloves off and resting them on the seat of the bike before reaching under the chin of his helmet to undo the strap there. Your eyes drift to the veins on his flesh hand and golden accents on his vibranium hand as you formulate a believable response.

            “Hear him out, give him closure or whatever he’s here for.”

            “Whatever he’s here for?” Bucky repeats your words almost sarcastically, scoffing beneath his helmet. When he pulls it off and rests it on the seat next to his gloves, you can see he’s scowling. “Why are you playing dumb? He’s here for you.”

            “No, he isn’t. He’s with someone else now, and he thinks I am too.” You point out. A low chuckle rumbles past Bucky’s lips as he runs a hand through his hair and starts toward the concrete staircase on the other end of the floor.

            “That’s exactly why he’s doing this, because he thinks you’re with someone else and he can’t stand it.” Bucky sounds so sure of himself, as if he’s experienced something like this before. In fact, he sounds so sure that it makes you wonder if he really has experienced this before.

            “You think he’s jealous? You saw the girl he was with, didn’t you?” You question, falling into step next to Bucky. His leather jacket still sits heavy on your shoulders but giving it back to him hasn’t even crossed your mind yet. Bucky’s hoping you’ll forget about it and keep it on when you walk in and sit down across from that piece of shit ex you’re here for.

            “She doesn’t have shit on you and he knows it.” His words leave your lips parted and your eyes widening in surprise as he reaches the staircase and starts heading down in front of you. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. For the most part, you’ve only ever heard him talk about you with an air of annoyance or indifference, but you could swear that what he just said was almost complimentary. If you could see the grimace on Bucky’s face, you’d know you were right. When he saw the blonde in the grocery store, he wanted to laugh at the way the guy had downgraded after losing you. She was pretty, sure, but you glow like the fucking sun even on your worst day.

            “So, what should I be doing here tonight then?” You ask, knowing Bucky probably has a plan in mind if he came all this way just to witness what’s about to go down.

            “Showing him that you don’t need him, that you’re better off without him.” You reach the bottom of the stairs and step out onto the sidewalk across from the bar. Bucky turns to face you as you scan the area for a crosswalk.

            “And how do I do that?”

            “For starters…” Bucky says, stepping closer to you and grabbing the front of his leather jacket that you’re still sporting, “keep this on.”

---

            Bucky’s been standing at the bar for the last fifteen minutes, nursing both a beer and an aching jaw. The ache is from how hard he’s been clenching his teeth together since your ex strolled in and took the seat across from you at a little two-seater table across the room. Of course, the guy showed up without his new girl. And, of course, he’s been trying like hell to get you to smile and laugh at whatever half-assed jokes he’s been cracking since he sat down. Bucky knew the guy wasn’t after closure.

            He watches with a less-than-pleased look on his face as the guy leans his elbows on the table and rests his hands a little too close to yours, but you don’t pull away. You’re sitting facing Bucky’s direction, yet you haven’t once let your eyes flit up to meet his. It’s infuriating. Bucky strains his ears to pick out your conversation through the din of the usual bar chatter around him. He listens intently as the guy tells you that it was nice to run into you at the grocery store, that he didn’t know if he’d ever see you again, that he missed the way you laughed. What a fucking ass. If Bucky remembers correctly, from overhearing gossip among the team, the guy had you nearly head over heels for him, and then one day he pulled the rug out from under you in and instant. He never even gave you much of a reason why. He simply called you up, ended the relationship over the phone, and a week later you heard through the grapevine that he’d met someone else. Why you felt compelled to meet the guy here tonight, Bucky will never understand. He doesn’t think the prick deserves even a minute of your time.

            “So, you’re really seeing someone else now?” The man’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard to Bucky’s sensitive ears, but he continues to focus on your conversation anyway. Bucky has to know how you’ll respond. He watches out of the corner of his eye as you push a stray lock of hair back over your shoulder, over the shoulder of his leather jacket, and then you blush. Why are you blushing? Bucky’s heart starts to race in the slightest because he can’t figure out if you’re blushing at the idea of you and him being together or at your ex prying into your personal life.

            “Yeah, he uh…at the grocery store, he…” You stutter through your answer. Like Bucky previously said, you’re a bad liar. The pink showing through the skin of your cheeks darkens another shade as you look away from your ex. Your eyes finally land on Bucky, who’s now standing at the bar facing you head-on. He holds your gaze assuredly and gives you a small nod, letting you know that you’re saying the right things. Somehow, just making eye contact with him and getting that small nod of approval calms your nerves.

            “Right, I remember. I guess I kind of thought that was a joke.”

            “A joke?” You ask, a bit offended at your ex’s confession. He rubs his hand across the back of his neck and lets out an awkward laugh before leaning back in his chair comfortably and taking a sip of his drink.

            “Yeah, I mean the guy said you only ever fuck raw. You never once asked me to fuck you raw. It just didn’t sound believable.” Huh. You’re silent for a moment as you sip on your own drink and let your gaze float back to Bucky once more, unaware that he’s just heard every word that the man said. The two of you stare at each other with some kind of…tension in the air between your table and the bar. Honestly, if you and Bucky were actually together in some alternate universe where you didn’t find each other incredibly annoying from the start, you think you would love to let him fuck you without protection. Something about it just sounds so filthy and enticing. But when you imagine it with the man that’s currently sitting in front of you, the man who promised you a lifetime and then kicked you to the curb like a broken piece of furniture, you cringe. No, you never asked him to take off the condom, and you probably never would have. Truthfully, that should’ve been a sign.

            Bucky’s eyes analyze the two of you as you put on a tight-lipped smile and then relax in your seat, fiddling with the zipper of the leather jacket draped around your frame.

            “It didn’t sound believable?” You ask softly, looking up through your lashes in a way that makes Bucky’s cock twitch, and he’s not even the one you’re looking at. When you do flit your eyes over to him, he can sense the change in your demeanor instantly. You’re not coming off so lighthearted and timid now, you’re giving off an air that says you-don’t-know-who-the-fuck-I-am anymore. “When I look at you, I can’t even fathom the two of us having unprotected sex. It never once crossed my mind to ask you for that. But when I look at him?” You let your gaze travel over to Bucky once more, and this time your ex catches on. He turns in his chair, scanning the bar behind him until he sees the super soldier leaning against the bar with a smug smile on full display. “When I look at him, I can’t stop imagining it.”

---

            Bucky’s leather jacket weighing on your shoulders, his body warmth seeping through his t-shirt and offering you reprieve from the wind that’s hitting you both head-on, his right hand reaching back to grip the side of your thigh as he weaves his bike skillfully in and out of traffic on the way back to the compound. All of those things are mixing and swirling together to create a near suffocating tension. You’re focusing on keeping your helmet from bumping into the back of his and even more than that, on keeping your mind out of the damn gutter. What you’d said back at the bar, the final thing you’d said before your ex realized he had no chance at getting back together with you, it was true. When you look at Bucky, you can’t stop imagining him fucking you without anything between your body and his. You don’t know when that started or when it might end, but it’s true. So, you left with him, climbing onto the back of his bike much more willingly than you had earlier in the evening. Not because you wanted to be close to him, but because you wanted to get home as fast as possible so you could get the hell away from him. Where on earth did this new found attraction come from? Why was your mind betraying your body with every single glance in his direction? Fuck physiology.

            Bucky can almost hear you overthinking behind him as he turns off of the interstate and onto a quiet, private road leading up to the compound. Hell, he’s overthinking too. He heard what you said at the bar, and he saw the look in your eyes when you said it. Had you been thinking about him the same way he’d been thinking about you since that night at the grocery store. No, there’s no way. If you really had been, then you wouldn’t have wanted to meet up with your ex tonight. Bucky lets out a breath and slows the bike as he nears the entrance to the parking garage. Neither of you said a word when your ex stormed out of the bar, nor did either of you when you made the walk across the street to the public parking garage and started the ride back home. It’s been silent, unbearably silent for too long.

            When Bucky finally parks the bike among the various vehicles owned by your friends and colleagues that reside upstairs, it seems as though you can’t get away from him fast enough. You swing your leg over and dismount the bike quickly before slipping your helmet off and taking a few steps over to the wall to set it on the shelf it originally came from. You’re halfway to the elevator when Bucky speaks, stopping you in your tracks.

            “The jacket, sweetheart.” He says coolly. When you turn around, you see him still sitting on the bike, looking down at the helmet he holds in his hands. It almost bothers you that he isn’t looking back at you. He can call you sweetheart but he can’t lift his eyes to your face? You let out a deep sigh before walking back over to him and standing a foot away from him and the bike. You strip off the leather jacket a bit reluctantly before holding it out to him. You have to admit you feel a bit like you’re missing something without it on now. Bucky takes it without glancing in your direction, and as soon as you turn on your heel to walk away, you can hear him dismounting the bike and setting his own helmet on the shelf. You’ve just hit the button to call the elevator down to the garage when he decides to speak once again. “You’re a bad liar.”

            “What?”

            “You’re a bad liar. I don’t know much about you, but I know that.” Bucky says. You stand in front of the elevator but you can’t tear your gaze away from him when he’s speaking so ominously. You watch him carefully as he turns away from the shelf and faces you, but still doesn’t lift his gaze to meet yours. Instead, he smooths out his leather jacket before laying it over one arm and tucking the keys to his bike into the back pocket of his jeans.

            “What does that have to do with anything?” You question, crossing your arms over your chest. Your eyes dart back to the screen above the elevator. It’s still so many floors away from reaching you.

            “I knew you were lying when you told me he hadn’t texted you. I don’t even think your piece-of-shit ex believed you at first when he asked if you were really seeing someone new, you couldn’t even get a full sentence out. You’re a bad liar.” The words pour out of his mouth with ease, as if he pre-planned the entire speech. When you don’t say anything, he finally lifts his eyes to meet your narrowed stare. A shiver runs down your spine, but you blame it on the fact that you’re no longer wearing his jacket. “When I look at him, I can’t stop imagining it.” When Bucky repeats your words so perfectly, you can feel all of the color draining from your face. “When you said that, you didn’t stutter, you didn’t hesitate. You weren’t lying.”

            “You think I was being honest?” The question leaves your lips with a hint of anger edging each word. Bucky merely shrugs in response, tilting his head to the side as he waits for you to answer your own question, since it’s obvious that he thinks you were being honest. “You think I look at you and imagine you fucking me raw?”

            “Do you?” Bucky taunts, licking his bottom lip before drawing it between his lips and pressing his top teeth into it. Your gaze darts down to his lips against your better judgement, and when your eyes settle back on his, all you see is a reflection of what you’re sure your own eyes are showing. Lust. He thinks about it. He thinks about fucking you raw. In this moment, you’re sure. In fact, he’s thinking about it right now.

            Your feet start moving before you even have a moment to consider the action, they’re carrying you straight toward him, ignoring the elevator that’s just arrived to take you away from him. When you stop a few inches in front of him, he’s staring down at you with a raised brow and building anticipation. He wants your answer.

            “Yes.” You breathe the word out. In an instant, Bucky’s dropping his jacket to the floor and tangling his flesh hand in the hair at the nape of your neck as his pulls you into him, crashing his lips against yours. It’s a kiss that takes your breath away and fills your lungs with a fiery burn, yet you don’t want to break for air. You kiss him back, moving your lips to suck along his bottom one as you tilt your head to the right to give each of you better access. Bucky languidly drags the tip of his tongue along your top lip before snaking it lower and letting it delve into your mouth. God, he might’ve imagined fucking you but truthfully, he forgot to imagine kissing you. He never would’ve thought it could be this good. His vibranium arm wraps around your lower back, pulling you closer into him until his body warmth begins sending tingles across the surface of your skin. Once he has you flush against him, that same cool metal hand begins unwrapping from your back and traveling down until it’s in place to grip a handful of your ass, hard. When you gasp into the kiss, Bucky pulls back and bites down on your bottom lip. Fuck. If you don’t stop him now, he won’t be able to stop himself from having you right here in the garage. As if you’re reading his mind, you place both hands on his chest and pull your head back until there’s an inch of space between your mouths. While your eyes are focused on his pink nose and swollen lips, your mind is focused on what you feel pressing against your thigh. He’s fully erect, his cock straining against the front of his jeans just from kissing you. You could overthink this, let your mind weigh all of the pros and cons of what’s happening right now, and then convince yourself to be responsible and go upstairs to your own room, pretending this never happened. But for some reason, your right hand is already coasting down his chest, over his abs, and sliding between your lower bodies. You find yourself palming the outline of his cock, offering him such a perfect amount of pressure and friction that he can’t help but lean his hips forward and press his cock further into your touch.

            “If you don’t stop now…” Bucky rasps, but his eyes flutter closed and he bites down on his lower lip before he’s even finished the sentence, your sensual touch getting the better of him.

            “If I don’t stop now?” You encourage him to say what he wants to say, but you can’t fight the teasing smile that’s beginning to play on your lips.

            “If you don’t stop now, you won’t be able to return all of those pregnancy tests on your next grocery run.” You laugh lightly as you lean in and press a soft kiss against Bucky’s jawline, continuing to rub his erection through the taut fabric of his jeans.             “Are you thinking about fucking me raw, James?” You tease. Bucky groans before opening his eyes and pulling you away from his jaw by your hair. He doesn’t stop you from slowly sliding your hand back and forth along the outline of his cock, but he makes sure you’re looking right in his eyes before he speaks again.

            “Right here in this damn parking garage.”

            Without a single thought in either of your minds, Bucky lets you push your palms flat against his chest and walk him back until he stumbles onto the seat of his motorcycle. In one swift movement, you slip your hand past the waistband of his jeans and boxers and the warm skin of your hand comes into contact with his hard length, without anything between the two of you. Bucky lets out a heady groan and his hands begin moving all on their own, working to unbutton and unzip his jeans to give your hand as much space as possible. As soon as he has his pants undone, you shift your hand and wrap it firmly around his cock, giving it a slow stroke inside of his boxers. When you near the head of it, a bead of precum drips onto the side of your thumb and you smile to yourself as you spread it back over the smooth tip of his cock. What is it about having a man this way that makes a woman feel so damn powerful? Bucky looks at you with a mix of annoyance and awe at the way you’re working his cock so effortlessly yet turning him into putty in your hands. He’ll let you have your fun for now, and then he’ll show you that he can have the same effect on you.

            The moment your eyes lock onto his, he slides his right hand along the side of your jaw and pulls you in for a kiss, the taste of your lips and the feel of your hand stroking back and forth along his hard-on is nearly enough to send him over the edge, and he inhales sharply, tugging his lips away from your own.

            “I’m not going to have much use for those pregnancy tests if we keep going like this, am I?” You ask jokingly, as you remove your hand from Bucky’s pants and raise it up to your face. Bucky runs a hand through his hair as he blows out a breath and watches you intently. Your thumb, still a bit shiny and wet from his precum, ventures dangerously close to your mouth. You keep your eyes trained on Bucky’s as you use that same thumb to tug down your bottom lip before sliding it into your mouth and sucking.

            “Oh, fuck.” Bucky groans, his rationality fleeing as his own flesh hand delves into his pants and begins mimicking your actions from a moment ago. The way your eyes follow his movements, your pupils blown wide with lust as you watch him touch himself, it’s too damn much for him. He grabs you by the hair once again, in that desperate, needy way that you’re quickly growing to love, and pulls you against his chest, kissing you as fervently as the first time. However, this kiss doesn’t last. He pulls away from you in an instant and suddenly, his hand is on your shoulder, pushing you down to your knees. Before you reach the floor, he uses the toe of his boot to slide his discarded leather jacket across the floor to cushion your knees. So fucking thoughtful.

            Bucky stands up with you on your knees in front of him and his bike resting on its kickstand behind him. His eyes never part from your face as he pushes his already undone pants and boxers down his thighs just enough to free his cock from their confines. Your breath hitches in your throat as soon as you lay eyes on it, as soon as you lay eyes on the sheer size of it. Bucky doesn’t make a move to stop you as you reach up with both hands and take hold of his length, using one hand to begin stroking it from the base to the tip while your other hand grips his thigh. Your eyes widen at the way it looks even bigger in your hand, which is a mental image that Bucky will probably be recalling every day for the rest of his life. You’re more than ready to lean in and take him in your mouth, to experience every second of what it’s like to suck him off, but his gentle touch halts your movements. His flesh hand softly cups the side of your face as he lets his thumb caress the skin over your cheekbone.

            “You’re so much bigger than he was.” You whisper, your eyes traveling up Bucky’s torso until you’re getting lost in his gaze. It’s true. Your ex was…well below average in this department. But Bucky? God, Bucky is so far above average it’s actually making you wonder if you can even fit half of him in your mouth. Bucky chuckles lowly before tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, and then copying your earlier move. He slips the pad of his thumb between your lips and watches with hooded eyes as you eagerly accept it, sucking on it gently. Fuck. He’s so ruined. Only a moment later, he’s standing there with his head thrown back and a string of curses are falling from his mouth as you bob your head back and forth, letting his cock slide along your tongue and brush against the back of your throat repeatedly. He’s fully lost in the pleasure of your mouth. He’s so lost, in fact, that when you grip his thighs with both hands and lean into him as far as you possibly can, letting your nose brush against his lower stomach and your throat tighten around his shaft as you gag, he lets out a groan that reverberates through the parking garage and sends a fresh wave of heat straight to your core.

            “Fuck, do that again.” He rasps, finally looking down at you as you pull your head back until only the tip is resting on your tongue. A smile plays behind your eyes as you dare to look up at him. He can’t help himself. Both of his hands move to run through your hair, encouraging you to do exactly what he just said. You repeat your actions, moving your head forward and taking his entire length in until you gag a second time. But this time, Bucky holds your head still there for two seconds. His eyes squeeze shut as your throat grips his cock tighter and tighter, the sensation bringing him so close to the edge that he abruptly pulls back and leaves only half of his length for you to taste. “Just like that, shit.” Another minute of your mouth doing exactly what Bucky wants and he’s fighting with every cell in his body to delay the inevitable. He wanted to fuck you raw, truly, it was his intention from the moment you admitted you thought about it. But having you like this? Having you on your knees for him, telling him that his dick is bigger than the last piece of shit you were with? God, he’s so close to cumming in your mouth that it almost hurts.

            “I’m so fucking close.” He groans the words out as if he’s in pain, as if he’s holding back because he doesn’t want to cum in your mouth. That just won’t do. So, you release him from your mouth with a pop and start working him with your hand as you tilt your chin up to meet his gaze.

            “You don’t want to cum in my mouth?” You ask innocently, looking up at him through your lashes. It’s the same way you looked in the bar earlier and he feels his last bit of resolve crumbling. He could easily cum in your mouth, but that’s just not what he needs right now. In that desperate, needy way that you love, Bucky grasps your hair and pulls you to your feet. A whimper leaves your lips as his cock slips out of your hand.

            “No.” Bucky says calmly, turning you around and pushing your back forward until your hands land on the seat of his bike. “I’m going to give you a reason to use one of those damn pregnancy tests.”

            He’s swift in pulling down your jeans and panties with both hands, and then lining his cock up with your entrance and making you think he’s going to fuck you. But no, Bucky lets the tip of his cock gather the wetness that you’ve been sitting in since you left the bar, and then he begins chasing his release with his own hand. You let out a needy whine, pushing your hips back against him and hoping his cock will just happen to notch inside of you and slide all the way in, but Bucky isn’t going to let it happen until he’s ready.

            He has a plan. He’s going to fill you with his cum first, then use his fingers, his tongue, and his cock to fuck it back into you after. The next time your run into your ex, Bucky wants you to be so fucking pregnant that the guy loses his goddamn mind.

There will be no tag list for the smut menu requests.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #mcu #marvel #the winter soldier #winter soldier

[tteokdoroki]

ೀ⋆OCT 16TH CLUELESS ━━ megumi fushiguro + step-cest !

୨୧ — caution, you are now watching. megumi fushiguro + step-cest. are you totally buggin’ or is your college-goer, goody two shoes step-brother kinda into messing around with you? (7.6K)

୨୧ — rated r. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact ! nsfw, heavy smut, dark content, characters aged up to 20s, college!au, enemies to lovers (?), step-cest, photos, videos, fingering, choking, praise kink, panty sniffing, body worship, riding stuffed animals, daddy kink, soft sex, unprotected sex, bimbo-ish + fem!reader, step-brother!megumi fushiguro.

୨୧ — director’s note. lets gooo another kinktober installment! i actually haven't written for megumi in ages and this is kinda long so...i hope this is okay? sorry this is late btw, please enjoy! <3 - m.list ⋆ kinktober m.list ⋆ taglist ✧

let’s get one thing straight. 

not all daddy’s girls are dumb.

on the contrary, you’re actually highly intelligent and thoroughly educated — graduating at the top of every single one of your classes in high school, despite negotiating a fair portion of your grades with your teachers. after school, however, you couldn’t quite figure out what you wanted to do and everyone else you knew spent their time growing up around you. daddy wanted you to go to college, get your degree so you could find your footing in the world…he would even pay for it too.

but like every other twenty-something year old girl your age, you were completely and utterly clueless about the direction you wanted to take.

perhaps that was the reason as to why your step-brother, megumi, annoyed you so much. indoctrinated into your family unit of two (yourself and your father, of course) — megumi had joined you to play happily-family when his mother married your father. their fast-paced union didn’t last long, however, for your parents were quickly divorced by the new year…and apparently, you can only divorce people. not children. meaning that your older step sibling had decided he would much rather stick around for the long haul.

it could even be said that megumi fushiguro was an even bigger daddy’s boy (or kiss ass) than you were a daddy’s girl. he went to college on daddy’s money, ate on daddy’s money and got jobs using daddy’s money and power. now, he’s some big time hot shot at an environmental law firm and it irks you just how much your father is pushing for you to be just like megumi. in everybody’s eyes, your step brother was the picture perfect child, an example to follow, a fine gem.

and since your father liked that so much; likes how responsible and diligent megumi is — it would explain why your older step-brother could get away with sneaking up on you in your own house (favourite child privileges). “what are you all dressed up for?” the husky lilt to his deep voice sends shockwaves through your system and a shiver down your spine, making you jump away from the fridge you’re rummaging through.

“a party.” you say frigidly. the dark haired male makes a face and you roll your eyes at him in a disapproving manner. as if megumi was in any position to judge you for your plans and late night endeavours. he was a boring old college student clinging to his younger step sister whilst you were doing society a favour and helping your friend get together with the guy she liked. 

it’s what you do! helping the less fortunate instead of studying for some boring piece of paper and graduate degree. 

you were such a good person. 

turning away from the cool air and dull hum of the fridge freezer, you tuck a few juices to be used as mixers for the party into your bag — ignoring the heaviness of your step brother’s admiral blue gaze as it slips over the curve of your waist, the expanse of your thighs and the bounce of your chest peeking out from your skimpy little get up. it’s funny, how you’ve never liked the way boys have looked at you in the past — but something about the way he drinks you in as if you’re the last glass of water on the plant makes your legs shaky and your breath turn short and…

“can i come?” 

with his lips pressed into a thin line and his emotions hidden behind the perfect mask of his perfect face — megumi slams the fridge door shut, to make you squeak again. his brows raising expectantly while he waits for your answer. “a-as if fushiguro.” you huff in annoyance, jabbing the older step-sibling in his shoulder as he towers over you. “aren’t you too old for house parties? i wouldn’t want you to cramp my style.” 

“i’m not that much older than you.” he laughs, it’s melodious sound sending a warmth through your body.

rolling your eyes, you snap back. “you’re old enough.” 

you make yourself small as you pass by him, attempting to escape his suffocating presence. he makes you feel weird, and you don’t exactly hate it — sure megumi is annoying, snarky and a little mean but he’s… attractive, like next level attractive. he’s got those dreamy sea-storm eyes that make you feel as though you’ll die and go to heaven, a sexy smirk that gets you hot and bothered even if it’s not directed at you. all of your friends have had crushes on your step brother at some point, ones that cause jealousy to brim just under the surface of your skin, pricking you like a thousand tiny needles. your jealousy totally doesn’t have anything to do with you trying to hook your friend up tonight by the way (lying to yourself makes you feel better).

however, feeling this way about megumi is wrong, nowhere near normal. anybody could have told you that — it’s just that your family relationships make things complicated and you don’t want to make this weird between you both. you’d never admit it, but you do enjoy the back and forth sibling-like banter the two of you have. would ruining that be worth it? even if your step-brother was like…everything you’d ever wanted in a guy; not like those snot-nosed, unhygienic, monkey-brained losers you used to go to school with. 

instead, megumi was smart, established and with his future practically set in stone. maybe that’s why you picked on him, why you acted like a spoiled brat whenever he was around, why you pretended to despise his every existence and wish he’d never become a part of your family. because megumi  constantly reminds you of your failures or what your future could be if you put your mind to it and actually tried. 

“maybe, college guys like me wouldn’t seem like such losers if you actually gave furthering your education a shot,” your step brother cuts through your thoughts, stalking behind you with his hands in his pockets as you leave the kitchen and head towards the foyer — getting ready to head out for the party. “just do what your daddy wants, angel. go to college, get your degree so he can get off my back and you can be smart like me. yeah?” 

“and why would i listen to you?” there’s nothing you can do to shake him — your older step brother tailing you as if he’s your own personal guardian. he stops walking when you stop walking, bumping into your back, while a shocked whimper lays flat on the seam on your lips. 

megumi passes you a jacket (which you slide on by yourself) whilst he chuckles again, the sound rumbling in his chest and through your body pressed hotly against his. “‘cause i’m your big brother.” his voice is almost scolding, playfully so, holding a darker tone that you almost recognise as lust whole his larger-than yours hands force their way down to the fat at your waist. “now c’mere, let me fix your outfit. can’t have you goin’ out like this…” megumi squeezes your hips, using his grip on them to spin you around so that you can face him. 

you expect him to tell you to cover up more — that your pretty white dress is too short and that you’re too promiscuous. what you don’t  expect is for the dark haired male to sink to his knees before you, soft and attentive fingers sliding up your inner leg to fix your thigh-highs as that have slipped down. you barely manage to choke back a needy moan. 

he doesn’t let up on the eye contact either; only serving to fog up your pretty little head. “s-step brother,” you manage to remind him gently, finding your voice. 

fushiguro rolls his eyes, poking his tongue into his cheek. “that was your take away, pretty girl?” he doesn’t stop touching you, going as far to peek his head up your skirt — pretending to finish fixing your socks despite the subtle press of his nose against your panties and pinging them against your backside once done fondling you. “there we go, better.” 

he even goes as far to pat your bum in accomplishment too. 

you feel pathetic for letting your step brother touch you in such a taboo way, failing to push megumi off. but he’s never been so bold and you’ve never wanted him more — craving megumi through an insatiable burning in your chest. there’s always been a sexual tension brewing between you both, fuelled by your banter, your rage and mischievousness but how could you act on it? 

megumi was practically family. your family. it would be weird. you couldn’t be anything more without crossing the line of what’s deemed acceptable and what isn’t for step siblings. you have to remember who he is to you, an older brother, a menace to your friends who crush on him and someone who had called you selfish once upon a time. 

finally snapping back to reality, you force yourself away from the tendrils of your step-brother’s grip — swiping your purse from the entryway table and storming towards the door. “you’re buggin’ gumi!” you squeak from the porch. “stop being weird a-and stay out of my room!”  

the door slams harshly as you vacate the property in favour of the party, practically running down the steps with a rapid shake of your head. doing anything you can to rid yourself of all thoughts concerning the enigma that is your older step brother.

the party doesn’t help, and instead ends up a total disaster.

your plan to set your friends up completely falls apart when your ex-best guy friend decides to make a move on you on the way home and drops you off in the middle of nowhere after rejecting him. to top it off, some asshole robs you for your fendi purse at a gas station and makes you lie down on the ground in your matching designer dress! 

the whole ordeal nearly reduces you to tears and forces you to call the one person you’d been trying to forget about all night. megumi. 

he picks you up without a word of protest, but you swear that you can feel his disappointment radiating off of him in thick, asphyxiating waves. “please don’t tell daddy,” you had sniffed, eyes big and teary. and megumi can’t bring himself to blame you or to be mad at you because you’re so sweet and sensitive and a little too good for this world. that and you have no idea how much seeing you cry fucks with his head. 

“you’re a smart girl, baby.” he’d replied softly — though his eyes were hard and his grip on the steering wheel even harder, indicated by the white of his knuckles. “you shouldn’t be messing around in places like this. it’s exactly why you should be in college.” 

like the good big (step) brother he is, fushiguro sneaks you back into the house without a word to your watchful father. instead, he spends the rest of the night comforting you with silly cartoons to heal your inner child. deep down, it means a lot — usually the two of you would argue over control of the remote, and he would always win. this time, megumi lets you be. 

“i don’t think i’m cut out for college,” you sigh after a moment’s silence, ren and stimpy providing the backing track to your vocalised thoughts. “‘m not much aside from my pretty face.” 

fushiguro rolls over so that you lay side by side, nudging you with his elbow playfully. “what would you do instead?” 

“i dunno,” growing bashful, you tuck your face into your shoulder — afraid that he might laugh. “start a fashion business, give people make overs? i think i’m good at that.” 

“you’re good at a lot of things, angel. and making people feel god about themselves is one of them,” rather than belittling your dreams, tearing them down like you’d expect — megumi encourages you, flashing you a small yet supportive smile. “you take care of people.” 

flustered by his praise, you lean into megumi’s side — playing footsie with him at the end of your bed shyly. “you’re better at taking care of me, though.” you whisper, nearly missing the way his eyes drop to your lip-gloss smudged lips. 

“yeah? s’what big brothers are for, right?” he whispers back, a breath’s width away from your lips, nose inches away from nudging yours as if he’s going to kiss you. he wouldn’t be your step-brother if he wasn’t so full of annoying surprises, instead of pulling you into a lip lock — megumi grasps at the remote on your other side in an attempt to change the channel to something more boring and scholarly. 

you protest in the form of a sibling play fight causing you both to roll around in the sheets — fighting for the remote or perhaps dominance over the sexual tension that thickens the air. heat rises throughout the room and your wrestling turns to megumi pinning you to your babyish pink sheets, straddling your waist. he grips your wrists, clasping them together between his large, veiny hands and forces them above your head.

everything happens so quickly, yet so slowly and all at once. one moment you’re fighting like siblings do and the next — megumi fushiguro is finally kissing you, tongue lapping at the crack between your parted lips from where you’ve gasped in shock. tasting every ounce and every essence of the remainder of your gloss, breathing weightily into your mouth as if it’s a relief to have it pressed against his own. you swallow everything he gives you and drink up his saliva as it pools into your mouth to the point where your head spins and you feel like he’s spiked you with arousal. 

this is wrong, on so many levels. as if you would ever make out with your step brother. but this isn’t some kind of twisted dream, it’s a reality you find yourself basking in. you pull megumi onto you by the roots of his dark hair, mewling each time your lips slot together perfectly and whining when his hips start to jut down to meet the softness of your tummy. or when his large hands push and pull at sensitive parts of your body. 

“you’re nothin’ like those college girls.” he tells you once you break apart for air. megumi’s nose nudges your cheek and his kisses dive lower into the crook of your neck while he waits for you to catch your breath. “you’re softer, prettier, you’re—“

he lets go of your wrists.

tilting your head back into your plush pillows, your shaky fingers tangle in the dark, unruly curls of your step brother’s baby hairs. “i’m what?” you tease through a series of pretty little moans, like music to megumi’s ears. you feel him twitch against your inner thigh and the temperature of his body spikes to a sweltering degree. 

“perfect.” his rough tongue swipes over your prominent collarbones and over the fabric of your dress, slipping under the crevice where your breasts meets your rib cage. using his teeth, fushiguro pulls down your dress until it inches off of your shoulders, revealing more of your skin marked with scars, beauty and stretch marks. it comes off easily, exposing you to a pair of hungry, murky blue eyes. the dress remains bunched at your middle.

you must be tripping out — you’ve never seen this look in your step brother’s eyes before. he stares up at you, lips swollen and breath ragged, as if you’re the last meal on earth he’ll ever get to taste. the sexual tension was never obvious to you, and while you’ve always found megumi weird — it didn’t mean you disliked his company. 

“quit staring,” you whine, arching your back into megumi’s touch as it drags across your searing flesh. “it’s weird…you’re making it seem like it’s a bad thing…” 

he yanks down the front of your dress, smooths down the valley between your breasts and over your tummy as they rise and fall with each of your baited breaths. “you don’t like it when i look at you, pretty baby?” then suddenly, his thumb slips back over your naked nipple, curling your sensitive areola before applying a gentle pressure that makes you jolt up the bed. “there’s nothin’ bad about you.” 

fushiguro’s grip runs down to your sides like an easy stream of water, grasping at any flesh he can while simultaneously pulling your hips up to meet his — slotting perfectly against your body to make sure you can feel how hard he is for you. “i’m not like those college girls you’re usually into…” comes your shaky whisper. “‘m too dumb.”

it’s weird, megumi’s never made you nervous until now. 

“no. you’re smart, you’re perfect… you deserve more than the guys that you’re into. you shouldn’t waste your time.” 

his steady hands slide over the curve of your ass, dip beneath the hem of your dress to play with your doughy thighs and every note of his praise is sung over your quivering body.

“so what?” you go on, stepping into the dark to explore whatever the fuck this is with your step brother. “i should waste it on college boys like you?” 

the tail end of your words are lost in a gasped breath as megumi nudges a knuckle against the crotch of your underwear — chuckling softly at the wetness that pools in the seat of them. “you would be if you came with me.” a sort of sick and twisted expression, morphs on his handsome face. one that’s usually so stoic and unreactive to your whines and mewls. but this version of megumi seems to like watching you squirm, revels in the way your hips buck up on instinct the further he presses his fingers between your sticky, viscous folds. “god, sweetheart. your princess parts are already so wet for me.” 

heat flashes across your face, accompanied by the unfamiliar twinge of lust you for megumi you feel buzzing beneath your skin and swirling with the blood in your veins. the way he coos down at you, eyes hooded and tone condescending — it only serves to cloud your judgement and your mind. you shouldn’t be doing this. but you want to. so badly. 

“shut up.” you huff and look away, eyes threatening to roll back into your skull as megumi flicks at your clit from over your skimpy panties. the more he plays with you, rubs at his little sister’s cute pussy, the more your thighs twitch apart — revealing the treasure between them to his dirty-minded gaze. 

the groan that follows vibrates around in the cavity of megumi’s chest before shooting down to your glistening core as it convulses under his fingertips. “you’ll miss me when i go back, don’t deny it.” he tells you like he knows you, voice horse with growing desire. “you should really come with.” 

you scrunch your nose up at his request — of course he would choose now of all times to be annoying and tease you about college. “as if, megumi.” you warn, though it’s hard to stay mad at him when he presses two fingers against your spasming entrance, azure eyes darkening at a stream of your arousal dampens your panties — defining the shape of your puffy folds even more. 

“yeah, yeah. i know, baby. not the time, huh?” megumi hums in amusement, gaze flickering up to your face to watch it twist with euphoria as he continues to pinch and rub at your cunt until your chest is heaving. “you want it that bad. wanna be touched so bad. pretty girls like you can’t do anything without their big brothers...” while he rambles over the drool replacing logical words on his tongue, your step brother pulls his hand away from your sex briefly to push past the lace scalloping on your underwear and access your wetness. “all this, ‘cause of me?” 

“all ‘cause of you.” you breathe the words out like they’re air and nod shyly at your own admission despite the high pitched, babyish tone. to let your stupid older step brother know how much he affects you is embarrassing, borderline humiliating, but you can’t help but fall into him. megumi rewards you with two fingers stroking their way past the tight ring of your entrance, curling instantly to explore your gummy, oozing walls and locate the exact spots that make you tick.

he presses a chaste kiss to your sweaty cheek, body hunched over your shaky one as if to shield the scandalous sight from the world. his little sister split open on his fingers, drenching him in her scent and her slick as fushiguro scissors them and fucks you silly. “mhm, that’s my girl. so nice for me and my fingers. i like you better this way,” he slurs, long and dark lashes (ones that you’d die for) fluttering against your skin as his digits move faster and faster within your selfish, ribbed walls. “when all you can do is cry and make those pretty noises, instead of being a little brat to me all the time.” 

fushiguro pauses his ministrations, forcing you to wriggle and writhe and chase your pleasure for only a moment. “m-megumi!” your hips jut upwards in an attempt to coax some friction out of him, anything on your pulsing clit or against your pleasure spots dotted along your insides. “p-please. fuck, gumi— i need it.” 

he only smiles, his thumb finding your clit and his fingers pick up the pace — bearing down on your g-spot with every thrust into your tight heat. “that’s what i like to hear, none of that back talk. just your pretty voice, beggin’ for me.” he sweet talks you over the dirty, lewd and squishy sounds from your thoroughly fucked cunt as they ring out into the sex tainted air. they form a chorus with your hiccups and pathetic bleats for more — and if your body is a choir, megumi fushiguro is the conductor. he guides you to the gates of heaven, feeds you pieces of pleasure from the grapevine of sun and you let him. 

because he’s your big (step) brother, and you trust him after all. 

“fuck, you’re so pretty. could watch you make a mess of me all night.” 

the bricks bliss build up in your lower tummy, cemented together by megumi’s relentless fingers pumping in and out of your slick sex. you’re the perfect vision, a sight to behold — darling gem eyes shiny with tears, tongue tied to the roof of your mouth by strings of saliva and your body doused with a glimmer of perspiration. your step brother can’t help but create a copy of you grinding against his hand on his mind. filing it away for later. 

pulling his fingers from your selfish heat, megumi brings his hand down against it in a harsh slap — his entire body shuddering at the surprised wail you let out, and the stream of juices that fly up his arm as a result. “ooh, baby. what a pretty noise you just made.” he laments with a rough voice, soothing over the spank with soft flicks to your swollen clit. “can you do that again for me?” 

he doesn’t give you the chance to answer, spanking your pussy again, and again and again until his head is heavy with the sounds of your broken moans and your panties are soaked all the way through — darkened by the running two of your sweet honey nectar that allow his slender fingers to slip back inside you with ease. 

they tease at your stimulated walls and push and pull your tight little hole — and you swear you can practically see the stars that line the night sky with every new sensation. fushiguro is in no better state, cock painstakingly hard and straining against the insides of his sweats while his cool midnight eyes drink in the way your hips stutter and struggle to keep up with the pace of his digits inside of you. 

“‘gumi… i think i—“ your words escape you, drowned out by your own pussy as it squelches around megumi’s fingers. 

he kisses your forehead, contrasting my soft compared to the way he stretches you open and preps you for his cock. “i bet that feets good, huh? you feel like you’re gonna cum.” his tone turns into a mocking one, deep enough to send shivers down your spine and threaten to knock down the wall of mounting pleasure in your lower gut.

tears teeter over the edge of your waterline, streaking a hot path down the apples of your angelic cheeks as your hips lift off the bed — chasing the high only your big brother could give to you. “feels so good, p-please let me cum, ‘gumi.” 

you look to him for reassurance and permission, hiccuping as megumi pulls his fingers out of you to trace from your clit and down the length of your juicy slit. pride swirls in his blazing chest when your body jerks at the sensation, hips running after the source of pleasure. you’re such a good little thing, so pliant and naive — following after your step brother no matter what he does to you. maybe you’re right, maybe you’re a little too dumb for college. but it doesn’t matter right now, not with the way your creamy entrance clenched down on fushiguro lovingly, pleading with him to let you cum.

you’re so close and he knows it, he’d have given into you if he weren’t trying to make this last. 

“actually, i want you to do something for me.” he stops right before you’re about to burst, dragging his fingers out of your pulsating pussy to smear your wetness across your tummy and thighs. 

a babyish blubber bubbles up on the swell of your pouty lips, coated in a layer of salt from your free-flowing tears. “w-what? m-megumi! i was so close!” you say in a petulant manner, squishing your thigh together and trapping his hand between them as if to coax him back into making you cum.

“so spoilt, more like.” your step brother bites back, almost punishing you by removing his body from yours so that he can rid himself off all of his clothes. he tosses them off the bed, but not before pulling his phone from his sweatpants and setting it to the side.

you swallow thickly when his cock springs free and slaps against his washboard abs. megumi is lengthier than he has girth, his balls heavy with an incredulous amount of seed saved up just for you. his tip is pink, almost bright red but coated in a layer of pre that’s no doubtedly smeared along the inside of his sweats but it’s a delicious sight to see nonetheless. 

now you really must be bugging. you’re most certainly clueless to have never thought of megumi this way before today. 

your throat bobs when he grabs hold of his rock hard shaft, hissing at the first few lazy pumps he gives himself.  “i want you to do something for me. then i’ll make you cum.” fushiguro proposes gruffly, locking eyes with you carnally. “put on a show for me princess, ride one of your cute little stuffed animals over there so i can make a memory for when i go back to college.” 

his ask doesn’t register in your pretty little head, and megumi figures he might have left you dazed from withholding your orgasm. or maybe you’re distracted by the way in which he fists his cock, spreading webs of milky white up and down his shaft and over his mushroomed tip with each movement. you hardly notice the fact that he’s reached for his phone, setting it to record using his free hand. 

“you hear me, pretty… fuck…girl?” he curses in a low moan, squeezing himself. 

this time, your attention shoots to his face while your tongue darts out to wet your lips. “y-you want me to… fuck my stuffie?” 

you ask megumi so innocently, head tilted to the side like a sweet little puppy dog and he swears he might bust to you right then and there. 

“fuck…yes.” 

“and you won’t touch me?” 

“not until i’m satisfied, princess.” 

and like the bratty little sister you are, dress pushed down to your middle and makeup askew, you huff at your step-brother — all while grabbing your favourite and biggest stuffed bear to tuck against the ruined treasure between your thighs. 

“you’re so fuckin’ mean, ‘gumi,” you try to keep your cool, but you’re too sensitive — lowering your twitching sex onto the soft toy slowly. “o-oh…”

he angles the camera perfectly to record you, zooming in on your cute little cunt as it slips and slides over the bear with ease.

even beyond the camera, you’re a sight for megumi fushiguro’s sore eyes, each of your curves and dips illuminated by the glistening beads of sweat that roll over the expanse of your skin – catching the low, warm yellow light from up above. he always knew that his little step sister was pretty, practically an angel, but up until now he’d relied soley on his dirty imagination to picture the way you’d look fucking yourself for him. the stuffed toy easily disappears between the meat of your pudgy thighs as you rock back and forth over it, nudging your clit against the nose of the fluffy brown bear.

“feels good, right?” he mumbles lowly, the sound vibrating in his chest. megumi can’t help but be engrossed in your every move, the soft jut of your hips and the bite down on your plump and shiny lips, the way in which your fingers dare to dance up the salacious softness to your curves and skin. “my pretty little thing. i can see why your daddy loves you so much. you’re such a good girl, listening to everything i say.”

megumi’s words waft over your mind like a thick fog of lust, darkening every pure thought you’ve ever had. your whole body twitches at their patronising air, dopamine crackling about in your skull and shooting down to the heartbeat swirling around your fluttering hole. it gushes and gushes, like an endless stream of erotica and glazes over the apex of your thighs like the shin of a sugary treat.

one that makes your step brother’s mouth water with anticipation.

each of your sweet mewls and whistle-tone bleats run through his ears like thick honey, rotting him from the inside out. perhaps that’s what makes megumi so perverted and what makes him crush on his perfect and prim little sister, you’re a fool to have not noticed it before. how he looked at you then and how megumi looks at you now, midnight blue and stormy orbs drowning with lust. your gaze flutters down to his cock, standing tall and flushed against his creamy white skin, neglected as it leaks all over his stomach.

“oh you like that, huh? you shake so much when i talk to you like that.” fushiguro starts to fist his cock faster, matching the speed at which you shakily circle your hips over the poor stuffed animal — panting as it’s fabric darkens with your wetness. “a daddy’s girl through ‘n through.” he teases while you throw it back for his phone.

sure enough, the camera picks up his warm chocolate voice as it coos its praises to you. such a good girl. ride it out princess. all of it fills you to the brim with wanton and desire, makes you crumble before the glaring lense of fushiguro’s phone.

“s-shut up.” 

“uh-uh. and you were doing so well,” your step brother sounds almost cruel, reminding you of the reasons you didn’t get along before today. acting like a school boy picking on his crush, being mean to her because deep down he knows that she likes it. that you like it. “don’t be rude baby. put on a show for ‘gumi.” 

he takes to palming himself more, precum slinging across his knuckles and down his thighs the more turned on he gets. it clings to every vein on his shaft, spreads to the weight of his balls and no doubt can be heard through the camera since slick and lewd noises of the both of you touching yourselves echo throughout your bedroom. megumi does his best to keep the camera steady, but he can’t help himself — following your movements and thrusting up into his closed fist to mock your pussy while you ride your stuffie for dear life.

you’re still so sensitive, but your big brother can tell you’re trying so hard to keep up for him — fighting off your next orgasm as it builds up strong in your lower belly. you want to please megumi, at the end of the day. a smart girl like you knows  “that’s it, keep it movin’ for me…god, you make me wanna cum.” 

you pout at the praise, rutting over the face of your stuffed animal as you breath heavy. it feels way too good, you’re overwhelmed by too many senses and megumi watching you spill your juices about the place doesn’t seem to help. dragging a hand up to your bare chest, you tweak your nipples and tug them until  a needy squeal dancing on your wobbly bottom lip — doing your very best to please the dark haired college student.

you want him to cum, want him to memorise the way your eyes roll back and your moans and quivers — you feel so beautiful beneath his heavy, desire burdened stare. “m-megumi,” you say for the millionth time that night, squirming before his very eyes while you dream on the nose of your precious toy. “i-i’m close!” your hips burn holding back you release, exhaustion and just intertwining in your veins — combusting in your lungs. 

clueless. you were absolutely clueless as to how it would feel falling apart under the caring gaze of someone who loves you so much. 

“yeah, pretty girl?” fushiguro hums gently, giving his cock one last squeeze at the base — cutting off the stream of ore that he dribbles from the source. “c’mere, i gotcha.” he shuffles over to you on the bed, catching you before you fall with his lips pressed to your wet babyish cheeks. “i’ll let you cum, but only on my cock. you’ve got to stay good for me, okay?” 

nodding timidly, you accept a few more kisses from megumi — the ones that he peppers across your face, before he manoeuvres you onto your side and nestles in right behind you. “say you want me,” the words coast along the back of your neck and your body erupts in goosebumps. his voice will always be like a dragon breathing life into a fire. sure to be careful, megumi lifts one of your thighs and hooks it over his slender waist so that he can better access your sluice sex.

he tugs your underwear to the side with one hand and positions his cock at your entrance, sliding the length of his shaft through the strings of your arousal glueing your pussy lips together. both of you hiss in harmony when his bright red tip grinds messily against your pulsing pleasure bud. your unused hole clenches around nothing, pushing out juices as if to claim megumi. 

your head rolls back to rest on megumi’s broad shoulder and you reach a hand behind you to tangle in the dark mass of his sweaty locks — keeping him close. “i need you, ‘gumi. please.” you rasp weakly as his shaft breaches your silken walls, coating him in everything your body has to offer. you spoil megumi, giving him a moment to remember before he leaves for college again.

there’s a delicious residual burn from the way his girth stretches you out causing your cunt so selfishly squeezes down on every inch of your step brother’s milky cock. with a stuttered breath, fushiguro bottoms out until his balls are pressed hotly against your ass and his seedy mushroomed tip is just grazing your womb. 

“just what i wanted to hear,” he purrs into the shell of your ear — nipping it tenderly. you blubber softly into the satin pillows, prepped with a fresh set of tears as you push back onto megumi to meet the push and pull of his dick into your tight, creamy sex. “you’ve always needed me, pretty thing. my precious baby sister, relyin’ on me for everything. even this.”

your entire body burns bright with desire for megumi, you’re surprised you’ve gone this long without him before today. maybe you’ve always needed to feel his sticky tip grind against your juicy walls or his hot breath fanning against your shoulders and neck. you’ve always needed your step brother to guide you in the right direction. you’ve always needed megumi.

“f-fuck, g-gumi!” 

fushiguro fucks you slow and softly, pouring all of his affections into you — letting it buzz in the sex scented air between your salt slicked bodies. his fingertips leave their paw prints along your tiger striped thighs and soft tummy, he’ll kiss them better later, but for now he just wants you to know how much he’s always needed you.  “oh i know pretty girl, i know.” comes megumi’s low, bristling simper — adding to the stacks of pleasure cementing together in your lower tummy. “you’re so good, taking me just right. i’ve always known you’d be good for me.” 

your back arches away from the molten centre of your step brother’s chest but he refuses to let you run from him — wrapping a strong arm around your middle to anchor you and your pussy down on his throbbing cock. “i never wanted to ruin you.” he drawls hungrily, but that doesn’t stop the salacious buck of his hips upwards and the way his hands traverse over each of your perfect imperfections. “but you’re such a sweet thing… you always have been. god, baby, you drive me crazy.” 

fumbling around on the bed, megumi gasps at the phone and hits record once more — propping the device up on the nightstand opposite you so that he can remain hands free. “this body, this princess cunt… the way you grip my hair—“ as if on cue, your fingers tighten at his dark roots and tug him down for a sloppy, spit swapping kiss. “everything about you, s’perfect.” 

the room spins with ecstasy and your pathetic screams die in your throat at the feeling of megumi’s abs contacting against your back, his cock hitting that spongy spot inside of you over and over again. you drip sweet nectar onto the sheets, his pelvis and his thighs — tainting him with your precious sin. everything burns with exertion and exhaustion, so you’re forced to slump against your big brother and rely on him to carry you to the high heavens of pleasure.

he doesn’t disappoint, cupping your swaying breasts as you jolt up the bed from the force of his pounding thrusts, flicking at your nipples while keeping himself tucked in your squishy insides. you’re pleasured from every possible angle and it’s all caught on grainy film for megumi to take to college when he leaves without you. 

“‘m so fucking happy… t-that our parents got divorced. s-so that i can…have you like this.” fushiguro tongues at the pulse point under your ear, giving you one hard thrust to emphasise the point, it makes you jump, pushing you that little bit closer to the edge. your step brother never stops pumping himself in and out of you, hardly giving you a second to breathe between sucking on your tongue and slapping a hand down on your slit. 

“aren’t you happy?” he goes on to ask, carving the shape of his dick into your raw sex. “take a deep breath for me, gorgeous.” 

megumi wraps a hand around your throat from behind, squeezing ever so slightly and your glistening doe eyes tear away from the camera to focus on him. you witness the stars align in his azure orbs, the adoration they hold for you and a cry-baby wail slips from between your cherry bitten lips in response. 

“look so pretty with my hand around your throat ‘n my cock in your pussy… look at that. it’s like your body was made for me.” he chimes up again, watching the drool deep from the corner of your mouth as it hangs open with dry moans, like a a cute puppy panting. “how lucky are we?”

“o-oh! gumi!” you sniff blearily, not caring that there isn’t enough air in your brain to think straight. you’re swallowing down his cock and he’s leaking fat droplets of precum against the ridges of your walls — only adding to your wetness. megumi can’t expect a single logical thought to escape you this way. “‘m s-so glad. s-so lucky! so happy! i-i love you.”

the stuttered admission brings out the worst in megumi, causing him to lose his shit. your panties are rubbing his shaft raw, your pussy’s so good that he feels like he’s fucking high, not to mention you sound so pretty he could die here and be the happiest man alive. a feral desire takes over your step brother, his snapping his hips into you so hard that your headboard repeatedly smashes against the wall.

your panties are completely soaked through at this point, equally as ruined as your cunt… but megumi doesn’t care. “love you too. my good girl, my good fucking girl.” he coos, his thrusts growing animalistic and erratic — your bodies dancing to the tune of desire as you chase release. “can you cum for me, pretty? wanna see it, bet you’re so gorgeous when you’re cumming for me little sis.” 

despite being fucked brainless, you still manage to do what you’re told — your hips back onto his from their own accord, puffy pussy locking down on megumi’s base to keep him inside. “i’m close… r-right there gumi!” you choke out.

“right here, baby?” is all he manages to respond with, moaning pornographically into your sweaty shoulder while he shifts the angle of his thrusts. “wanna feel you gush all fucking over me.” 

that’s all you need to hear before your toe curling orgasm comes crashing down on you like a large tidal wave. the knot in your tummy finally unravels and you break beneath the pressure of it all, waves of your juices splashing out onto the sheets and megumi’s pelvis — rewarding him for fucking you this good. you cum so hard that it’s enough to force megumi from your twitching hole, expelling a musky scent into the air.

“f-fucking shit, fuuuck me…” fushiguro stumbles off the edge not long after, using the seam of your panties to finish himself off while you twitch through the aftershocks of your high. he just barely makes it, fucking your underwear and nudging his sensitive cockhead against your abused mound until he’s filling the seat of your panties with fat globs of white hot seed. “jesus…’hmygod, baby. you’re such an angel...d-did so fucking well for me.” 

he peppers you with smooches until you’re calmed down enough to be rolled onto your back. megumi is careful to pull away from you, staying close while you sniffle and come back down to earth. he babies you throughout, lifting the rest of your dress over your head and waiting until you say he can move before grabbing you a spare shirt from your dresser.

“let me see you.” megumi whispers lovingly when he crawls back onto the bed to join you. he grabs his phone from the nightstand and ends its recording, pushing your thighs apart to snap pictures of your cum soaked undies and the thick white that clings to your fat pussy lips and clit. “perfect, you’re so perfect. 

“i am?” you whinge — camera shy. but you don’t tell him to stop, letting your older step brother rub his sensitive and overworked cock over your crotch, smearing the last evidence of your orgasms against you for a quick video. another one that’ll be added to his spank bank for later. “‘gumi…” you warn once you start to feel overstimulated.

he chuckles at how whiny you are, tugging your clean shirt over your head before he pulls you into his arms. “i got it, i’m sorry.” rocking you both back and forth, fushiguro kisses the crown of your head. “yanno… if you’re so serious about not joining me at college. i’ll try and convince your dad to let you stay in town. as long as you keep up your promise and try to start a business.” 

your heart skips a beat, and you cast a glance upwards at your step brother. “really?” 

“really. if it means that much to you.” 

sleep settles heavy in megumi’s bones and on his pretty face — one you didn’t realise you loved so much. “it does! thank you, ‘gumi,” you say quickly, pressing a chaste kiss to his jaw. “m-maybe you college boys aren’t so bad.” 

“oh come on now, didn’t me fucking you stupid literally just prove that?” 

“maybe.” 

“so you’ll come visit me at college then. since you like me so much.” fushiguro quips cheekily, narrowly missing your swat to his chest. 

you roll your eyes and try to unravel yourself from your step brother’s affectionate grip, but don’t hide your smile. “ugh! as if, don’t get ahead of yourself.” 

but teasing megumi further only gets you dragged back into the sheets — two sets of laughter echoing throughout the room in what appears to be another sibling fight. 

except this time, you’re not as clueless. 

you know that something like this, and with megumi, means something much, much more.

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

#୨୧ KINKTOBER 23’ #megumi x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #megumi smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi x you #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushigruo smut #megumi fushigro x you #jjk thirsts #jujutsu kaisen x you #megumi imagine #megumi x y/n #megumi fushiguro #tw: stepcest #✧ ₊˚੭ — writing #tteokdoroki #angelshubnetwork