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soulwillower · 3 years

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semi-charming • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested: Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :) + AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH + don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au,

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional.

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that.

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake.

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise.

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door.

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes.

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either.

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music."

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off."

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding.

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give.

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in."

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it.

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him.

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?"

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms.

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?"

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person.

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst.

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg.

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall.

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!"

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him.

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either.

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts.

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet.

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack."

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf.

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot.

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you.

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip.

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane. "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly.

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth.

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away.

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid.

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh.

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from.

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done."

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated."

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly.

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are, i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk.

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out.

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you.

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you.

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own. "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving?

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants.

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes.

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down.

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate.

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once.

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure.

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?"

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to."

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock.

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back.

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly.

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan.

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums.

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out.

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce.

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building.

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours.

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

"you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to.

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already.

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple.

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours.

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close.

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters.

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall.

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous.

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease.

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @sft-core @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie @decafcoffeew

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough smut #losers club x reader #losers club smut

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lavenderwhore444 · 3 years

Note

Heyoo so I’ve been thinking about this for a while

✨ maid shigaraki✨

So imagine this ur a successful business woman god knows how many companies u own, u live in this mansion( or whatever house u want) of course u have maids and butlers, u always had liked that one maid shigaraki he was adorable and always blushing and apologizing for any mistakes he made, u always made him clean ur office just to watch him that made him super nervous he thought u were gonna fire him, not to mention every time he bent down u can see that really cute pink lacy panties u oh so love, shigaraki liked u a lot but he knows he doesn’t have a chance with u I mean look at u !!! Ur amazing and gorgeous and him will u know plus he knows he’s only a maid nothing else to u (little does he know how much u adore him), let’s say he was cleaning ur desk and drops something and breaks he panics hard ( he’s almost hyperventilating) he runs to his room to hides he knows this is his last day, u were shocked when u heard glass breaking u thought shigaraki got hurt when u came to check u found him gone ( tbh u couldn’t give a fuck what happened to that glass) u looked everywhere u didn’t find him so u called one of the butlers to get him, they finally found him, poor baby was shaking while talking to u, u were upset why was he that scared of u?? then it hit u the best idea ever he can make it up to u, u started to shush him telling him it’s ok he can make it up, he of course accepted he will do anything for u, u brought him to ur desk and to sit on ur lap he was blushing like crazy u started to talk about how much u love him, he’s like a precious jewel (ngl that made him emotional he never thought he was that important to u)to u but u were upset that he hates u or ( u thought he didn’t like u) he panicked confessed at this point u couldn’t wait so u bend him over the desk and flapping the skirt of the dress to reveal his cute lacy panties, u wanted to punish him for breaking that glass so u spanked him for bit, at this point shigaraki was a mess moaning and whining for u to fuck him. Let’s say u never were this thankful for a glass to break

♥️Kinks as always sub shigaraki and a dom reader I would say a master kink or a mommy one u can pick and a happy ending since I don’t have it in me , loll I kind of run out of ideas for kinks , OH MAYBE U CAN PEG HIM TOO SINCE U BEND HIM OVER THE DESK, why did i think of that now anyways I hope u liked my idea as always don’t forget to drink water and get plenty of rest ♥️

-🤡

Glass

Warnings: Shiggy gets his ass eaten (as he deserves) MISTRESS KINK?! MY FIRST ONE?! anal fingering, anal penetration with toy.

By the time this is posted, I will be a fully vaccinated queen 😫🤚🏻

tbh I'm back in my mfing zone now that school is over.

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Another day, another dollar. Well, another 10,000 dollars in your case. You were the image of success. You had everything you could ask for, except someone who cared about you. Who really cared about you. Money couldn't buy you love, and even if it did, you're not sure you’d want it. No, you wanted true love—the type of love you see in your home theater. But you'd never have that. Instead, everyone saw you as a walking bag of money. They felt they were guaranteed a new house and car if they kissed you well enough (they never did).

Although, there was one person that you cared about. His name was Tomura Shigaraki. You weren't mean, but truthfully you never made an effort to learn the names of the others. You had a huge crush on him. You knew it was impossible, that kind of love that only worked out in movies, and this wasn't a movie. This was real life, and real-life was harsh. All you could do was admire him, watch him work, and gaze at him lovingly. If only he knew, if only he knew how you got butterflies when you saw him.

He looked so cute when he bent down to get something. When he was hired, you had run out of male uniforms, so he was stuck in a tiny maids dress and the undergarments to match. You never mentioned it to him when you had gotten more uniforms, and he didn't ask for a new one. You were so glad he didn't, the little dress barely covered his cute butt, and the white lacy panties under it peeked out as he cleaned. He was immediately assigned to clean your office every day. No matter how clean it was, he was tasked to come in every day and dust the spotless shelves.

He seemed to hate you, though. He’d come in and clean as fast as he could and leave immediately. It broke your heart; you tried to be kind and make small talk, but he just wasn't interested. Or so it seemed. Secretly he just got so flustered when he was with you that he couldn't stand it. He was just so scared that he'd make a mess and lose his job. You looked so intimidating sitting in your big chair with your expensive clothes.

The first time he made a mistake, he was terrified. He dropped a book and froze. He was close to tears. After that, he repeatedly apologized, offering to pack his things, but you just knelt next to him and put a finger to his lips.

“It’s okay, Tomura, ” you said, “it’s just a book. Please don't worry, ”

The use of his name, his first name, gave him butterflies like never before.

“Th-thank you, ma’am, ” he stuttered.

“No need for formalities, call me y/n, ” you said, standing up to take your seat once again.

“Thank you y/n, ” he whispered.

He was frozen. God, what a beautiful name. It just rolled off his tongue so perfectly. He finished his job quickly and went back to his room. He sat there for hours just saying your name, hearing it, tasting it. You were so beautiful, so powerful in your big leather chair, looking down at the world. Because you were above them all, you were at the top. You had made it in a way no one else could dream of.

What you did next could be considered mean, but...you just had to see more of him, so you made your office a mess. He came in and was quite surprised.

“I'm so sorry, Tomura. I worked late, and things just got...well y’know, ” you said, gesturing to your office.

“Please don't be sorry! It's my job, ma’am. I mean y/n, I'm so sorry!” Shigaraki rambled.

You laughed a little “it’s alright, Tomura. You don't have to apologize for anything, ” you assured him.

“Thank you y/n, ” he said, getting right to work.

Wrappers and bottles were thrown away and recycled; what a good boy saving the earth. For once, he took his time, no longer scared of you but still self-conscious when he bent down. Maybe he should ask you for a new uniform.

“I’ll be right back, ” you said, “you're doing a great job Tomura, ”

He smiled to himself as he worked until he broke a glass. He broke one of your glasses. Oh god, no. His face fell immediately. How could he let this happen? He was doing such a good job, but he...he let you down. This was it. He was fired, and he knew it. He’d never see you again. Never hear your laugh or watch you furrow your eyebrows as you wrote. He couldn't face you. He ran to his room, already beginning to pack his things.

You rushed towards your office at the sound. What happened? Was tomura hurt? Your mind raced as you ran back. What if Tomura stepped in the broken glass? Or it cut him? You'd feel guilty forever. You slammed open the door, but he had already left. You looked in all the rooms of the floor you were currently on to no avail.

“Hey um, you, ” you called to one of the butlers standing in the hall.

“Yes, madam?”

“Could you tell me where Tomura is? Light blue hair, red eyes?” you asked.

“Yes, he ran off to his room. He looked pretty spooked, ” he replied.

You sighed in relief, “thank you, could you fetch him for me?”

“Of course, ” he nodded, walking off.

You sat impatiently in your office, waiting for him. You checked to see what had broken. Oh, the vase your ex-mother-in-law gave you. You'd have to thank him later. He stumbled into your office, crying quietly. He was shaking as he walked up to your desk, barely keeping his balance.

“I'm so sorry, ” he whimpered, “I didn't mean to, I just was cleaning, and it slipped, and I'm so sorry I messed up. I'm already halfway done packing my things. It's ok you don't have to say anything, ”

“It’s okay, ” you soothed, “I know you didn't mean to. I'm not firing you, Tomura. It's alright, ”

“I know I- what?” he stuttered, “you're not firing me?”

“Of course not. It was a harmless mistake. I've meant to get rid of it for a while anyway, ” you said, “but you still broke the glass, and I think you can make it up to me. Would that be ok?”

He nodded with tears still in his eyes, “I’ll do anything, ”

You took his hand and led him over to your desk. You sat down and patted your lap.

“Come sit, ” you said.

He sat in your lap hesitantly, not putting his full weight on you. You pulled him all the way into your lap.

“Dont be shy, ” you said.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your chin on his shoulder.

“Tomura, why don't you like me?” You asked, “you're always so distant. Can you tell me what I did? I won't be mad, ”

“What do you mean?” he asked, head whipping around to face you.

“You never talk to me. You clean so fast that I barely see you for more than five minutes, ” you explained.

You sighed and stroked his cheek, “Tomura, I like you. I like you a lot. I’d never hurt you, or yell at you, or fire you. You're so special to me. The only reason I have you clean my office is so I can see you. You're the best part of my day. I have a lot of expensive things. Jewelry, clothes, cars, but none of them are as valuable as you, ”

“I don't hate you, I promise! I just get so nervous cause you're so pretty and successful, and you probably think I'm pathetic because this is all I'm good for. I'm just a maid, and you're such a powerful woman. I just didn't want to fuck u- I'm so sorry!” he stuttered.

“Tomura, you don't have to apologize for saying fuck. Do you have any idea what I screamed at my last business meeting? It was much worse than fuck, ” you giggled.

He blushed, “thank you. What I'm trying to say is that I really like you, but I get nervous because I might mess everything up, ”

You pecked him on the cheek, “you won't mess anything up, I promise. I feel the same way. How would you like to become my um personal assistant? You could hang out with me all day, pay is good, you won't really have to do any work, ”

“I- I’d love that so much y/n, ” he beamed.

“Yeah? Alright then, but um, I like your uniform as is, ” you teased.

He blushed, covering his face. You chuckled again, leaning down to kiss up and down his neck.

“What do you think about your pretty uniform, sweetie?” you whispered, “do you like it?”

“Yes, ” he whispered back.

“Repeat after me, Tomu: yes, mistress, ” you said, looking into his bright red eyes.

His pupils dilated as he finally whispered out, “yes, mistress,”

You smashed your lips onto his as he groaned. This was his fantasy. He'd lie in bed thinking about his boss’s mistress’s lips on his. Even if it wasn't sexual, he always craved your soft sweet lips. The way you were rubbing your hands up and down his thighs, pushing the hem of his dress higher and higher, made him squirm.

“Mistress, ” he moaned, “mistress please, I want you, ”

“Yeah? You want me? You want your mistress?” you cooed.

“Yes!” he cried, “yes, mistress!”

You shoved him out of your lap and bent him over the desk. You flipped up his skirt and groaned when you saw his panties. They hugged his butt so perfectly. They stopped just under his waist, and we're swallowed up by his ass like a thong.

“Fuck, ” you groaned, “remember that glass you broke, pet?”

He cringed a little at the memory but nodded, “yes, mistress, ”

“Good boy, ” you cooed, “I'm not mad at you, sweetie, no no no, but I’d still like to punish you. Although I think you'll like what I'm going to do to you, ”

“What are you going to do to me, mistress?” he said, looking back at you while bent over your desk.

It was impeccably neat, thanks to his hard work. But, unfortunately, that desk wouldn't remain clean for long.

“I'm gonna spank you, ok, sweetie?” you said, “let me know if it's too much, ”

He nodded, “ok, mistress,”

You brought your hand down, slapping his ass, watching as he gasped but bucked into your hand. Pain and pleasure couldn't be told apart when you spanked him like that. It should hurt. He should be mad, try and get away from the pain you were inflicting on him. But he loved it. He wanted your hands everywhere; it didn't matter if they were tearing him apart or providing unbelievable pleasure. He wanted you. He wanted whatever you gave him. You were perfect. You were everything, and every touch was perfect.

“Mistress, ” he moaned, “more, harder mistress, ”

You spanked him again, this one really stung, and he loved it. All he could do was moan, drool pudding on your desk. Two spanks, and he was gone, so sensitive in the most amazing ways.

“I'm gonna fuck you like an animal Tomura Shigaraki, ” you said, raking your nails down his back, “I hope you're ready, ”

He moaned, “yes, I'm ready. I'm ready, mistress. I want you to touch me. Please don't be gentle, ”

“Oh, I didn't plan on it, sweetie, ” you whispered, spanking him again.

He groaned, thrusting desperately against the air.

“Aw, is my little pet needy?” you cooed, “do you want to feel good, Tomu?”

“Yes, ” he whimpered, “yes please, mistress, ”

“Well, ” you drawled, “since you've been such a good boy for me, I don't see why not, ”

He groaned at the praise, “yes, mistress. I'm a good boy. I'll be your good boy, ”

You reached into a drawer under the desk and pulled out a bottle of lube and a dildo.

“I’ll have to get a strap for this soon and fuck you properly with it, ” you chuckled, “remind me, will you?”

His breath caught in his throat as he saw what you pulled out. Holy fuck, he wanted that inside him immediately. He watched you lather the lube onto your fingers, had you kept your nails short just for this? It wasn't like you had to use your fingers to get yourself off. You could buy as many vibrators as you wanted and get laid whenever you pleased. Had you been fantasizing about him? He was interrupted by a finger circling dangerously close to his hole.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“We haven't even gotten started, Tomura, ” you cooed.

You pushed in slowly, letting him savor this new feeling. You got deeper end deeper, starting to thrust and curl it. It felt amazing, but this was just a warm-up. You added another finger at a sluggish pace, moving them lazily as he finally started to acclimate. Relaxing, he moaned and groaned for you, letting everything else go.

“That's my good boy, ” you muttered more to yourself than him.

He looked back at you with a beautiful expression. His eyes were half-lidded, and his mouth was hanging open as he panted like he was in heat.

“Mistress, ” he slurred, “I'm ready for more, ”

“Yeah? You ready for another finger? ” you asked.

“Want the toy, please, mistress. I'm ready, ” he moaned as you curled your fingers.

“Honey, you need to wait a while longer, okay? I don't want it to hurt, ” you soothed.

“No, I want it!” he snapped.

His eyes immediately filled with fear and yours with anger.

“What did you just say to me, ” you whispered menacingly.

“I'm sorry, ” he whimpered.

You spanked him five times in a row, hard. He cried out, tears dripping down his face. After you were done, you pulled him into your lap. He was still sniffling as you held him.

“You can't talk to me like that, Tomura, ” you said.

“I'm sorry, mistress, ” he whispered.

“It’s alright, honey, ” you said, stroking his hair, “everyone makes mistakes, ”

“You're not mad anymore, mistress?” he asked.

“I wasn't mad in the first place, Tomura. I could never get mad at you. But you can't act out like that. You need to be my good boy, remember?” you said.

“I remember, ” he nodded, “if I'm a good boy, can you still use the toy on me? Pretty please?”

“of course, why don't you clean up the desk, sweetie. You drooled all over it, Tomura, ” you said, holding back a laugh.

He blushed but got to work, and in no time, it was spotless.

“Ready to make it messy again, ” you whispered in his ear.

He kissed your neck, “yes, mistress, ”

“See, there's my good boy, ” you praised.

He hugged you, gripping your shirt in his hands. You held him tight. Even though the shirt was close to five hundred dollars, it didn't matter.

“I'm ready, ” he whispered, “for whatever you give me, ”

You let him lean over the desk again, prepping his hole with the original two fingers you had slipped in, adding a third, much to his delight.

“If you had been a good boy, I’d be fucking with my toy right now, ” you reminded him.

“I'm sorry, mistress, ” he whispered.

“It's alright, sweetie, this was a good lesson, ” you said, leaning down to kiss his neck.

He shivered; he loved how sweet your kisses were. You were such a kind mistress, and he swore to himself that he would be such a good boy for you. Only for you. You finally pulled out of him, which was a blessing and a curse. He felt so empty but knew he was bout to be filled to the brim. But to his surprise, the next thing to push into him was your tongue. You licked and sucked the sensitive area, listening to him whine and moan shamelessly.

He knew you had your office soundproofed; you had a relatively colorful vocabulary. He was panting, nails scratching down your desk. Your tongue was wet so warm, just so- oh fuck, so perfect. He loved how it felt to grind back on your face. The most powerful woman in the world was pleasuring him, loving him. What had he done to deserve something as wonderful as this? He was interrupted by a harsh slap on his ass.

“I asked you a question, Tomura. Are you ready for my toy?” you said.

“Yes, mistress, I'm ready, ” he nodded frantically.

You pumped two fingers into him a few times before making a show of lubing up the dildo. You ran your hand up and down it, squeezing and smearing the liquid around. You rubbed it up and down his asshole a couple of times before pressing gently. It slid in with ease. He was gasping, legs trembling from being stuffed full.

“Mistress, ” he gasped, “it's so good, ”

“Yeah? I'm glad, ” you laughed, “that was the goal. Would you like me to start moving it, sweetie?”

He nodded frantically, “yes, yes mistress, I want it, ”

You thrusted slowly, dragging it in and out of him. He was moaning shamelessly, wanting you to see to hear to taste to smell to touch every part of him. He trusted you with life. You sped up, and Tomura’s eyes rolled back; he bucked against your hand. He was losing it now, blabbering mindlessly about how good it felt, how pretty you are, and that he'd always be a good boy.

“You're taking it so well, sweetie, ” you praised, “cum whenever you need to. There's no rush, ”

He nodded even though he couldn't really understand what you were saying. He felt himself getting sucked deeper and deeper into a pit of absolute bliss. Then, just as he was about to slip away, the door opened.

“Miss y/n I-” your representative stuttered.

“I'm busy right now. Thank you for stopping by. I’ll notify you when I'm free, ” you smiled calmly.

Meanwhile, Tomura was the absolute opposite of calm as he fought his orgasm. He didn't want a stranger to see him cum like this! But that just served to push him deeper into his pleasure. The deeper the toy fucked him, the more he lost it until he cried out.

“Mistress! I'm c-cumming!” he moaned.

Cum shot out of his cock, splattering on the clean floor. He was panting. He had just came in front of a stranger and loved every second of it.

“Aww, look at the mess you made, honey, ” you cooed, “such a messy boy, ”

You pulled him into your lap.

“As I said, I'll contact you when I'm free, ” you said, looking at your wide-eyed representative.

He stood there in shock.

You cleared your throat, “Um, are you gonna stare or just...?”

“I'm so sorry I’ll be going sorry to interrupt, ” he stammered.

You laughed a little, looking down at Shigaraki.

“Well, someone had fun, ” you teased.

He whined in embarrassment and hid his head in your chest. You laughed again and stroked his hair. You two sat there the rest of the day, getting absolutely no work done.

#mha shiggy #shigaraki smut #shigaraki fluff #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tenko #tomura shiragaki #shigaraki tomura #tomura smut #tenko smut #tomura x reader #mha tomura #tomura imagine

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awritingtree · 3 years

Text

The Glistening Sun and The Glowing Moon

Remus Lupin x Hufflepuff!reader

Summary: Remus Lupin has finally gotten a chance to spend time with his long-term crush but he messes up. Will she forgive him? Will he ever build up the courage to tell her how he feels?

@slytherinquill’s writing challenge: Prompt 16. ***A: *In a conversation with B* So… What do we do now?C: “In the other room* What did they say?!A: Stop eavesdropping if you’re not even going to be good at it!*** The prompts have been bolded :)

Someone please tell me if they know the new url because I never know when people change it

Words: ~3.3k

Warnings: scars, self-deprecation/hate, body issues, slight bullying about appearance, pining, fluff, tiny bit of angst,

A/N: so I tried my best with how having scars and everything feels. I’m posting after ages because I'm really busy studying for my med school exam and tbh I was lazy. But I finally posted!! I hope you enjoy this xx

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Remus Lupin often found himself pondering what he had done to receive a cruel fate. What had he been thinking when he fell for Y/N Y/L/N, the girl that brightly lit up every room she entered. The girl who was not only smart but kind and modest too, the girl who excelled in her lessons with hard work and perseverance. The girl that was so beautiful, she was a walking masterpiece.

They could not be more different. While Y/N spoke to almost everyone, had friends in every house, Remus could only call seven Gryffindors his friends.

Remus cowered in fear; made himself look much smaller than he is to hide away from the rest of the world. But Y/N Y/L/N; Y/N would walk around with her head held up high, wearing the scar that stretched from the beginning of her right eyebrow, down across her nose and cheek and to her left jaw proudly. Remus had always noticed her around, she was good friends with Lily but she had never interacted with any of the Marauders. Well not unless you count the times she'd tell them to be quiet when they were causing a ruckus during class.

Remus had spoken to Y/N once, on a complete accidental note. He’d heard her complaining to her friends about how she was nervous about the upcoming Potions assignment as they waited for Professor McGonagall to allow them into her classroom. He had blurted it out thoughtlessly like a complete and utter fool.

“I could tutor you!”

His eyes had widened, his face flushing as she turned around with a confused look on her face, wondering who’d spoken. When her Y/E/C eyes fell on his blushing face she’d smiled softly.

“Really?” she had asked with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

Remus’ hair had flopped everywhere as he had nodded vigorously, stuttering out a quiet yes. Her friends had giggled at his flustered behaviour causing his scarlet face to redden further. But Y/N, Y/N had taken no note of his embarrassing behaviour and thanked him for his offer saying she would talk to him soon. The hope in his chest had blossomed like a sunflower under the spring sun.

But that had been a week ago and Remus had not yet held one conversation with her. He’d often witnessed her walking around the corridors with her friends who seemed to always start giggling when he passed by them, probably laughing about their previous encounter, one he believed he had completely humiliated himself in. The only interaction Remus had with Y/N in the past week was the smiles they shared whenever they saw each other and so, his hope dwindled.

“Why don’t you just ask her out, Moony?”

Remus snapped out of his daydream at the sound of James’s voice. He blushed as Y/N sent him a smile, realizing he’d been caught staring. Sending a shy smile back he looked away.

He slammed his head against the wooden table groaning, “Kill me. Just kill me, Prongs.”

“I thought Padfoot was supposed to be the dramatic one,” Peter commented.

Remus lifted his head to send his friend a glare as Sirius exclaimed in protest.

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Lily asked kindly.

Remus leaned against his arm, the heel of his palm tucked under his chin as his hazel eyes drifted back to the girl sitting on the Hufflepuff table.

“She’s just so beautiful, intelligent, kind and I’m just… me.”

He sighed, placing his hands on his laps and playing with them, his blond hair falling onto his forehead brushing against his eyelashes whenever he blinked. All his friends frowned at his insecure thoughts, they hated the way he saw himself. They desperately wished that their friend could see the way they saw him, the way everyone saw him, but himself.

“That’s not true-”

“Hello, Remus.”

Remus' head snapped up at the sound of the sweet voice, the voice that sounded like tiny bells chiming in the wind to his ears.

“Hi- hi. Hello Y/N.”

Y/N giggled slightly at his stuttering but in a manner that didn’t make him feel like she was laughing at him.

“I was wondering if it would be alright if we met up at the library today?”

Remus let out a sound, flabbergasted. Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly proceeding to justify her request.

“I mean you said you’d help me with the upcoming Potions assignment! I thought I would take you up on the offer,” she said in a hurry.

Remus stared at her in disbelief. Only when a sharp pain shot through his shin did he open his mouth.

“Oh um. Yes. Alright. Of course. Today. Library. Potions. No problem. Okay. Yes.”

Y/N relaxed, smiling at him gratefully.

“Thank you!” she said, bouncing slightly in place, “Is after classes alright?”

Remus mutely nodded, dumbfounded, his mind still processing what was happening.

“Great. See you then!” Y/N said before heading back to her group of friends who were watching the entire scene play out at the Hufflepuff table, walking with a newfound skip in her steps.

“You are pathetic,” said Sirius as he watched his friend slam his head back onto the table.

It would surely leave a mark based on how loud the smack sound was.

He had once again humiliated himself in front of Y/N and this time he believed there was no way to redeem himself. There was no chance in hell that she didn’t believe he was a complete moron.

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Remus had been hyping himself up the entire day, barely concentrating on any word that left his professors’ mouths. He spent the full day preparing himself to not make a fool out of himself again.

He took a deep breath and shook out the nerves from his body before walking into the library at the end of the day towards the table where Y/N was already sitting.

Her Y/H/C was pulled back into a low ponytail, a few stray strands framing her gorgeous face. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she scanned the book open in front of her. The scar on her face was light, standing out prominently under the bright sunlight streaming in through the window she was sitting next to. In her hands was a quill which she was twirling around absentmindedly as she looked for information in the pages before her.

Remus stood afar for a while, admiring her simplistic beauty, one that never once managed not to take his breath away.

He slowly strode up to the table once he realized he had been staring at her for an amount of time that was borderline creepy. He quietly placed his bag near the foot of his chair as he sat down on it, slouching.

Y/N jumped in her seat at the quiet greeting he whispered. Her startled Y/E/C eyes relaxed as they landed on his figure. She pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“Sorry,” she muttered, “I was a bit startled.”

Remus smiled endearingly at the sight of her crimson cheeks, “It’s all right. I should’ve used a better method to make you aware of my presence rather than scaring you.”

Y/N quickly pulled out her Potions textbook from her bag, removing another spare piece of parchment along with it.

“So where shall we begin?” she asked with a small grin.

The two got to work; Remus explaining the assignment and what was required while Y/N sat and listened. The sky outside began to change colours, the blue fading into an ocean of orange, pink, purple and red. The sunlight switched from a bright to a deep shade of orange.

Y/N admired Remus’ face as the setting sun cast shadows on his features. His light brown hair resembled a golden halo at the top of his head in the sunshine. His green-coloured eyes mesmerized her; she had always loved the colour of his eyes. They reminded her of the vast forest standing out at the edge of Hogwarts, the luscious grass, the mint that gave her the morning mint tea. Remus held the colours of budding spring in his eyes; ever-young, bold and beautiful. Y/N’s eyes trailed the shape of Remus’ eyebrows, the sharpness of his rosy cheeks, the prominence of his jaw. She outlined the curves of his mouth, his tongue poking out every few minutes to wet his pink chapped lips.

“Hello? Y/N?” Y/N blinked, almost comically, as Remus’ deep voice brought her out of her daydream.

Her cheeks unwillingly burned under his stare, ashamed that she had been caught daydreaming about him, not that he knew that in particular.

“Yes, yes. Sorry,” she said.

Remus peered at her through his eyelashes, “It’s okay. I know it can get a bit boring.”

Y/N paid no mind to his words, frowning as she noticed his slouching body, trying to make himself appear shorter than he was. His head was hunched over, his neck never fully straight, concealing his face from the world.

Y/N ignored the worried look on Remus’ face and reached forward to brush the hair covering his dreamy eyes out of his forehead. His hair was soft just like she’d had dreamt it would be.

Remus stared at her, his lips slightly parted in shock. The feeling of her smooth hand running through his hair putting him in a daze. Her hand trailed the side of his face, stopping under his chin lifting his head to stand straight up. Remus’ eyes dropped to the chipped wood on the tabletop as she whispered a question.

“Why do you hide yourself?”

Before Remus could respond, a band of Slytherins passed by their table snickering.

One of the members spoke, “Look what we have here. The scarfaces are friends.”

The group burst out laughing. Y/N went to stand up, enraged and ready to give them a piece of his mind but a hand pulling her back down stopped her. She turned to look at Remus confused as to why he was stopping her.

“Leave it,” he whispered, “Reacting will only make it worse.”

The pit of snakes walked out of the library yelling out other taunts and not quietening down even as Madame Pince shushed them.

Y/N gazed at Remus who could not seem to meet her eyes. Upon hearing the rustling of papers, Remus looked up to see Y/N packing her bag, upset.

“Y/N, wait!”

“I’m sorry Remus. Thank you for your help but I need to go,” she said before hastily making her way out of the library without giving him a chance to reply. Remus watched Y/N’s retreating figure defeatedly until she disappeared. Remus sighed, burying his face into his hands.

‘Why can’t you do anything right?’ he scolded himself.

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Another week passed by. During this week, Remus did all he could to apologize to Y/N but she would not give him the time of the day. She avoided him like the plague; leaving the Great Hall when he entered, sitting as far away as possible in the lessons they shared, took different longer routes to her lessons through which she knew there would be no chance of bumping into him. She even went as far as spending all of her free time in the Hufflepuff common room, never once stepping foot into the library.

Others didn’t know why she was so upset. No one knew what it was like to live with such imperfections displayed on their face for all to see.

Y/N understood that Remus didn’t like others to see his scars but that did not mean she didn’t. She had worked so hard to build her confidence up to what it was. She had put a lot of effort into priding herself on how she looked, not to be ashamed. She had taught herself not to cower away from her reflection or due to the weight of others’ whispers and stares. So when Remus, the one person she had expected to understand, had stopped her from standing up for herself, for them, she felt hurt.

It may be an overreaction and Y/N should’ve forgiven Remus by now but when he had told her to sit back and quietly listen to the horrendous opinions others had about them, she felt annoyed, offended, hurt. But most importantly she felt disfigured.

Remus knew he had messed up. He had messed up big time. He had never been satisfied with how he looked, the scars marking his face making him feel ugly. But that was until he had seen Y/N in their second year. The Hufflepuff girl with a scar similar to his, who wore the scar like a brave warrior.

Remus had believed he was helping her when he’d stopped her from fighting with the Slytherins but it seemed he had made things much worse because by not speaking up against their vile words. He had in a way confirmed their words, confirmed that the scars were ugly, a thing to be ashamed of and disgusted by. He had unintentionally said that he believed their words to be true, that he thought he was hideous, that Y/N’s face was repulsive.

“Talk to her.”

“What the bloody hell do you think I’ve been trying to do this past week?” Remus asked, annoyed as he shoved another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

It was his third chocolate bar of the day and it was only noon.

“I mean corner her. Give her no means to escape then she’ll have to listen,” Sirius shrugged, moving about their shared room to fall face-first onto his bed.

“Bad move. She’ll hate you even more,” James said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

“What other option does he have left?” Peter spoke up as he ate yet another piece of cauldron cake.

“I should just leave her alone,” said Remus quietly, playing with a loose thread on his sweater, “It’s clear she wants nothing to do with me.”

He gazed at the thread for a bit, his mouth turned down.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk. Clear my head,” he said, getting up and leaving.

Sirius lifted his head from his head to look at his two best friends, “I think we know what to do boys.”

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After a long walk through the grounds of Hogwarts, Remus was making his way back to the Gryffindor common room, his head in a much better mindset than before. The corridor was surprisingly empty but he guessed everyone must be in their rooms, catching up on some much-needed sleep or doing the humongous pile of work they’d been assigned.

Remus paused and looked around the corridor thinking he had heard some footsteps. He shrugged and continued on his way when his eyes saw nothing but armours and portraits. Suddenly a push forced him into a classroom, the door locking behind him.

Remus stumbled before starting to bang on the door in a panic. “Hey! This is not funny! Open up!”

“Don’t bother,” a silky voice cut his shouting short, “I’ve been trying that for the past few minutes and no one is opening the door.”

Realization dawned on Remus. He turned around to face Y/N, a guilty look on his face, “I think I might know who is responsible.”

“Your friends. I know, it became obvious when you were shoved into the door.”

Remus smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry. I don't know what they were thinking. They shouldn’t have-”

“Remus,” she stopped his ramble, “It’s okay. I know you weren’t involved in whatever they planned.

“You never seem to be,” she shrugged.

Remus looked at her curiously, “What do you mean?”

Y/N looked down at the feet, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks as she realized what she seemed to have admitted.

“Your pranks. I’ve noticed you usually don’t participate in many of them.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at her confession, “Yo- you’ve noticed me?”

Y/N looked up and gazed into his eyes, “I’ve always noticed you.”

Remus gulped, lost on what to do next, “Why?”

Y/N smiled at Remus walking up to him.

To Remus, Y/N may glisten like the sun but to Y/N, Remus glowed. He glowed like the moon hanging in the night sky taking attention away from the billions of twinkling stars. He glowed to bring light on the darkest of nights.

Remus’s eyes closed in pleasure, suppressing a shiver as she traced his scars endearingly.

“Why?” she whispered.

Remus let out a shaky breath at her proximity, her breath fanning his lips.

“Because I find you to be exquisite, Remus Lupin.”

Remus gasped as Y/N’s lips touched his. His eyes fluttered shut as their lips moved against each other slowly and clumsily, testing the new waters they found themselves in.

Y/N pulled away and began to press soft kisses against his scars. In between each sentence she spoke, “You are intelligent. You are kind. You are caring. You are beautiful.”

She cupped his face in her hands looking directly into his teary eyes, trying to make him believe that she meant every single word that fell from her lips from the bottom of her heart, “You are perfect Remus.”

Remus pressed his lips firmly against Y/N’s, encircling an arm around her waist bringing her closer as his other hand cupped her face and tilted it allowing him to deepen the kiss. Y/N’s hands left Remus’ face and buried themselves in his hair, tugging at it. Their lips moved passionately against each other, their senses overwhelmed with the amount of serotonin coursing through their veins.

They pulled away from each other with giddy smiles on their faces. Remus tucked her hair behind her ear before trailing down to admire the crescent moon necklace that hung around her neck, the metal cold against his warm fingertips.

“So... what do we do now?” Remus asked insecurely.

Y/N was stopped from answering at the sounds of rustling and whispering, “What did they say!?”

Remus sighed in exasperation before shouting, “Stop eavesdropping if you’re not even going to be good at it!”

A thump of a body falling against the floor and a few curses later, the sound of receding footsteps echoed through the otherwise empty corridor and classroom.

Remus smiled lovingly at the sight of Y/N trying to hush her giggles by covering her mouth.

“I’m sorry about them,” said Remus after her giggling died out.

“They are not much different from my friends,” Y/N reassured him, “They were chaperoning our study date last week. I’m surprised you didn’t notice them.”

“Study date, huh?” Remus questioned with a smirk.

“Well yeah,” Y/N shrugged, looking at her hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of Remus’ sweater, “At least I hoped it was.”

Remus chuckled, glad to not be the one who was flustered for once. He placed two fingers below Y/N’s chin to lift her gaze to his.

“Actually, I was hoping I could take you out on a proper first date tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? But it’s a-”

“Sunday, yes. But my plans don’t involve Hogsmeade.”

“That’s only if you have the time. If you want to,” Remus quickly added, hoping it didn’t look like he was forcing her into anything.

Y/N smiled lovingly, “I would love to.”

In Y/N’s opinion, the consequent radiant smile that overtook Remus’ face outshone the sun, moon and stars combined.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

General taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @remmyswritings @angelxnaa @outer-banks-bitches @coffee--writes @kinkyduuh @ickle-ronniekins @the-mighty-bookworm @chaoticgirl04 @malfoyspogue @dracofeltonmalfoy @dracosmainhoe @tinylumpiaa @natasha-romancff @theweasleysredhair @pandaxnienke @george-fabian-weasley @sarcasticallywitty15 @amourtentiaa @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

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baka-monarch · 3 years

Note

Alrighty! *Slams hands on a desk*

You see this?! *Gestures to the oh so wonderful Music Tubbox au*

It's... it's beautiful.

I have some questions about it that I'd like to hear your thoughts on, if you don't mind. (This is going to be long)

*Before I start, I'm recalling these details with the inability to double check atm but it should be fine*

You mentioned Tubbo wanting to escape the music box to where he wouldn't have to dance if the music box played, so does the box have a certain range of area in order to control Tubbo?

(Now for potential headcanon time >:D)

If so, a fluffy route is Tommy and Tubbo chilling (after knowing each other for a bit) and having placed the music box deep in the basement or something. They could get rid of it, but they don't know if the magic tied to Tubbo is also tied as close with the box. (Life line stuff- and it's not fluff anymore. I tried.)

The angst route tho (and gotta love some angst) is if say Tubbo is out of the general "range" of the box to dance but the music box calls to him-the music is played- from wherever. A scenario where Tubbo can't ignore its call and is forced to go reunite with the box- whether he's concious of the pull and heading back to where it is despite the dread or whether he's unconscious, like its an automatic process and his mind blanks as he hurries to be back with the box. (The possibilities if someone got their hands on the box with the angst mhmm)

And speaking of someone getting ahold of the music box...

Dream.

Dream gets ahold of the box (maybe noticing Tommy originally getting it, or like, Wilbur might've been doing a photo gallery of things to sell to potential customers idk stay with me, and skips over it fast or is like "oh, I already sold that one" to try and cover the fact that the box is very much NOT for sale, and not within their possession in case anyone did perk up with interest)

I don't know what Dream's profession would be... or relationship with Wilbur and co, but I could see him doing it (taking the box) to mess with Tommy. He took one of Tommy's finds that Tommy seems to appreciate. (The whole "you're too fun" dynamic because c!Dream just loves seeing kids in pain)

Dream could know about Tubbo prior or after the whole thing. (After playing the music box, Dream sees Tubbo arrive at some point to be with the box)

Tubbo is understandably terrified. Tubbo and the music box had never really been separated before this moment -out of the range-. (Tommy could have either just agreed to not play the box and have put it downstairs or Tubbo tried to escape the range and Tommy physically went after him, not choosing to utilize the music box.)

OR ALTERNATIVELY They do know, maybe Tubbo could have known this would happen because Tommy and him tested it out to see if he was free and Tubbo was like "I didn't want to come back... it /made/ me come back..." So que the alarm bells when Tommy realizes the box is gone after he can't find Tubbo.

Anyway! Back to Tubbo and Dream. (Tbh as soon as doll!Tubbo became a tag I went "Pawn? Puppeteer Dream? Porcelain doll? Puppet?!) A chess piece for a pawn might be bigger than doll!Tubbo... (o.O) 2-3 inches is pretty small.

So... assuming Dream does realize how important Tubbo is to Tommy, Dream uses it to his advantage. (Is making Tubbo dance the only thing the music box can do? Or could it control Tubbo to do other things as well 👀... depending on the music box holder 👀... up to you)

That brings me to the doll!Tubbo is "fairly fragile" as you stated in one of the asks. Which yes, great, stunning, he can feel things, and if one of his arms gets chopped off? Well that's alot of damage. Can Tubbo die while he's "fairly fragile"? (I mean the name implies he's fragile so... I guess so...)

Because alternatively, (and this is just for the idea) consider Tubbo still being fragile physically, but he can't die-or atleast is hard to kill-. A porcelain body, but he doesn't really feel sensations. (Because he is a doll, and do dolls breathe, do dolls have heartbeats, hmm) Tubbo's body is still breakable, maybe he loses an arm. "What a shame" but he lives on, there's not much he can do. He can't feel anything besides the solids underneath him and the things he touches. No smell or texturized sensations. He can't feel pain, so he could get cut up into pieces and still be aware of exsistence. (The whole clothes stuck to body thing tho I don't want to disprove that)

If he couldn't feel pain, imagine Dream drilling small holes on his body to add little puppeteer strings. Dream is excited he can't wait to hold /this/ over Tommy's head.

Tubbo, being dragged by strings, is completely helpless, and once realizing that Dream relishes in his struggles, has mainly given up.

Do they talk to one another? Who knows...

You mentioned a potential counter curse which... fluff good fluff, but what of it involved Tubbo slowly gaining "human characteristics" back (more so to the idea that Tubbo can't feel sensations, smell things or feel pain)

And then the drilling starts, and for the first time in a long time, Tubbo feels pain. (Also the drilling puppet strings is dark, yessir, but I forgot Tubbo was porcelain and was like ah yes wood doll, ah yes, puppet strings go brr)

Anyway, that was my ramble, thanks for reading this!

-EchoLocation

FINALLY!!! SOMEONE IS INTERESTED IN THIS AU!!! THANK YOU ECHOLOCATION!!!!!!

Okay okay okay-

So (it's gonna be hard to answer all of this but I'mma try-)

Music box control: there is a range, basically if Tubbo can hear the music he has to dance to it- BUT if he's out of range and someone plays the music he is forced to get into range to hear it from the curse (like what you said with him being stuck in a trance and going to find it). As for control, you can use the box to make him do other things, but you have to change the melody (music boxes have this little metal roll in them that has dots to play the song, and you can buy a new one and change it any time) and sing an actual song to that melody about what you want him to do- singing to the original melody doesn't work

Dream: Dream is probably someone who buys and trades stolen items from Wilbur alot. And most likely a hidden fae. So, Wilbur had taken a picture of the box and posted it on his (secret) website before he knew about Tubbo, and when Dream saw it- he immediately recognised the cursed music box and wanted it. Of course by then Wilbur would be unwilling to sell it, but Dream has his ways (fae cursed the box remember? So, what fae that's going to steal this box do you think was there when it was cursed? Dream. So who knows how to utilize the curse? Dream.)

Tubbo and pain: Tubbo can feel pain. But he can't die. So you can shatter him to a million pieces and he would be in agony unless someone glued him back together- and he can't pass out- (I know, I'm a monster). Dream knows all of this- so when he wants a puppet it just makes him do a sloppy job at drilling the holes in, just so he can hurt Tubbo more.

Counter curse: through the counter Tubbo would turn back very slowly, and it would take at least a year to turn completely human again (although he would be free from the box's control instinaniously)- as well as, even though he was turned into a tiny doll, he can't be grown back, so he's now a tiny human- but at least a free tiny human

(I think I got it all?)

Mcyt g/t tag list:

@nomynameisanon @trashpumped @loriepoptale @encaos @i-am-a-weeb @wyforyu-gaming @shy-septic-dragon @5unfl0writ3r @colorfulsiren @moonmwah @iwasgoingtohellanyways @echoslime @wilbur-simp @trouble-off-grid @the-misfits-system

#ask #echolocation anon #mcyt g/t #mcytg/t #the music tubbox #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dreamwastaken #tubbo #tiny!tubbo #doll!tubbo #fae!dream

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owlf45 · 4 years

Note

i’m wondering about Izuku’s place in the wonderland system! i think in the original post you said that izuku and alice are co-hosts meaning that they both front fairly often, if alice is the one that wants to be a hero then what’s izuku’s roll in the system? how does he feel about alice’s plans as the other co-host? can he use their quirk at all or does he prefer not to/not have a specialty like everyone else? i’m also super curious about how all the other alters feel about each other! neat au!

His role is that of a caretaker! Caretakers are the ones who look after Littles in the inner world, so he doesn’t front incredibly often, though when he does it’s usually at home where it’s safe. Cheshire is surprisingly good at taking care of them if Izuku’s not able to for some particular reason. Izuku also helps out the other alters in a bit of a pinch, especially Alice since hosting can be stressful.

Alice wanted to be a hero but convinced Hattie first (didn’t take much tbh), and once Hattie got the idea in his head it was game over for the other alters. You can bet he was going to make sure Alice’s dream came true. So they all want to be or are indifferent to the idea of becoming a hero (except Queen of Hearts, who is uncertain and wary about how the world will treat them if they’re ever thrust into the media)—no one’s as determined as Alice, though.

Izuku supports her wholeheartedly! He wants nothing more than for Alice to successfully enter the heroism scape. Izuku adores the idea of being a hero, he’s just really shy and scared about fronting in front of people he doesn’t know. He can use the quirk, all alters can, he just doesn’t feel the need to all that often. But he’s a bit more well rounded than the others—he’s not anywhere near an expert in each distinct part of it, but he knows a bit of each specialty and knows how to make them work together (in theory, at least.)

When Izuku was first diagnosed with DID, the alters didn’t always get along. And when Izuku was still the main host there was a lot of... issues (idk how much I should go into that because I’m not sure if it’s my place as a non-system). Making an effort to communicate with the rest of his system helped, a lot, but it was a rough start. Now though, Wonderland System’s alters have an easier time communicating and working with one another. It’s not easy, by all means, and there are still bumps here and there, but things aren’t so scary. And when things go wrong they have plenty of buddy systems in place so they can talk/work with one another. Although Blue Caterpillar will get in arguments with other alters sometimes. Especially Hattie since he’s funky and energetic. Not always Caterpillar’s style.

(Though they do secretly enjoy one another’s company. Just. A teeny, tiny bit.)

#my asks #golden afternoon au #tw did #did tw

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shuahoonie · 4 years

Text

you. [tom holland] - eight.five [interview excerpt]

A/N: hiya babes, if you clicked this holy shit??? thank u so much??? tbh, you can really skip this so no pressure if you didn’t wanna read it. this is just an full interview article that i wrote just in case you wanted to know more about y/n!

though I did the small collage above, the photos used aren’t mine!

Y/N L/N: INTO THE LIMELIGHT

Many seem to forget that celebrities are very human too. As Y/N L/N is the recent talk of the town—by capturing people’s hearts with her charms and impressive acting, she gets candid on her love life, how the limelight practically changed her life and how glamour isn’t everything.

Y/N L/N, 22, is currently dominating the screens all across the world—especially as Amelia in the hit sci-fi thriller series, Alchemist. The television show follows the story of Amelia and her journey in avenging her father. Amelia was known to be intelligent, resilient, and hard-headed.

As Y/N eased into the interview, still wearing one of her outfits from the photoshoot, she was asked about her resonation with her character. “I see only tiny bits of myself as her—that being hard-headed and using self-depricating jokes as a coping mechanism,” she answered with a small laugh.

She added: “Amelia, to me, is someone whom I aspire to be. She’s resilient and not to mention, highly educated.”

Y/N openly admits that the struggle of trying to book acting gigs became exhausting for her and almost costed her to give up on pursuing her career. She expresses that she has been acting for a couple of years—balancing her education and acting career.

Y/N tells that she was in her second year of university when she dropped out and decided to focus on her acting full-time. “I was a political science major and at some point, trying to balance uni and acting was impossible. I gave my acting career a shot and there came a time that I thought dropping out of university was the worst decision I’ve made.”

She expressed that she had spent two years trying to book major projects but ended up being defeated. “I was in a catch-22. I practically threw away my education and I couldn’t even land a stable gig.”

She thought she possibly made a huge mistake of ruining her future. Luckily, Y/N received a casting call for the show Alchemist. “I still believe it’s pure luck. I’m lucky that I got the part and the show helped me shape my career, however, I can’t deny that I was really close to giving up.”

“Not everyone with the same dream gets to have this, and I know I should be the type of person who must encourage people to follow their dreams and do whatever makes you happy—which you should.”

Y/N stressed that luck and privilege plays a vital part in all of this. She believes that people should be encouraged to pursue their studies—whether it’s achieving their high school diploma or completing their post-secondary education.

When asked about her love life, she seemed rather shy admitting as to what her current status is. Y/N L/N has been rumoured to be dating Marvel’s very own Spiderman, Tom Holland. Although the couple hasn’t confirmed anything yet, they have been spotted spending a lot of time with each other which only leaves the fans questioning what’s the real deal between Tom and Y/N.

“Yeah, I am seeing someone.” Y/N admits with a soft smile. “People know who he is and frankly, I don’t think I have to explicitly say his name as who I date shouldn’t be anyone’s business.” Her cheeks were flushed red as soon as the words came out of her mouth. Y/N was kind enough to explain that she didn’t mean it to sound so harsh, but she still stands firm with her words.

As for Y/N and her lifestyle, she openly admits using air quotes that she isn’t the most ‘glamourous’ person out here. “Oh, I might be in the heart of L.A. but I still have the lifestyle of a 20-year-old college student.”

Y/N talks about she still lives off on caffeine as if she’s still pulling all-nighters for exams and papers. She also talks about there are some days that the only food she has in her cupboard are those dollar-instant ramens or boxed mac n’ cheese. “I buy the most unhealthy things—whether it’s junk food or takeouts— and I’m required to have a trainer for the show, so you can imagine how frustrated she is with my eating habits.”

“It makes me miss my parents a lot, actually. I definitely took those home-cooked meals for granted,” Y/N laughs.

Y/N L/N had an interesting way of navigating her childhood and her teenage years. As she is both an American and Canadian citizen, she practically spent half of her studies between each country. “I lived mostly in Canada, basically. My parents moved here in the U.S. for a job during a bit of elementary years so I finished elementary here. We moved back to Canada when I was starting the Ninth grade so I had to graduate high school there. I moved to LA at the start of my post-secondary education—but you know, I dropped out.”

“It was confusing, honestly, but I enjoyed it. I do miss Canada a lot though, the way of life is really different there and to be honest, if none of this worked out, I would’ve moved back.”

Before wrapping the interview, Y/N was asked with a parting question: Would you ever do this all over again in your second life?

Y/N had to think for a while before answering, “Yes and no.”

“Yes— because I genuinely love what I do and I don’t think I would ever trade it for anything else.” She says with pure sincerety in her words. “Also, no—because if it comes to a point that I see that this isn’t mentally healthy for me, then I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for letting me go through that.”

“I guess the bottom line is: I would only do this again if I still genuinely love this job and my mental health isn’t put on a pedastal.”

#the girl writes i guess #txmhoellandwrites

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bayrut · 4 years

Note

what are ur thoughts about tumblr user seasurfacefullofclouds1

i loooooove sea @seasurfacefullofclouds1 so much for so many reasons and i could never formulate them properly but here we go

she is the reason why i’m still a louie, and why lots of us are still louies. she gets so much hate yet she is always polite to anons and never bitter

she’s so smart i love her so much

she’s so kind and thoughtful and if i’m having a bad day i know i can message her and she’ll listen and give good advice or if she doesn’t have advice about the situation she’ll send me funny tweets or posts or tell me a story? like idk she’s just so sweet

i love reading her thoughts about industry and stuff like that i think they’re very interesting

when she followed me i almost screamed, and also i was so shy because in my mind she is one of the Three Big Louies and also i thought rip my blog is a mess she will hate it and unfollow a day later (like you know how i post just random stuff not even louis sometimes) and yeah she didnt unfollow and also i messaged her once to say hi and i felt awkward about it because she’s sea and i was a tiny blog but she was so kind and sweet and tbh she’s like my fandom mom i love her

she occasionally makes edits and they’re very cute and i can’t find a link rn but if she sends me one i can link it!

she is so smart irl

she has so many useful links and masterposts in her pinned posts and the pages on her blog??? a queen

i think she deserves the best in life, for real.

although she is amazing, she does have a few flaws, for example, she thinks louis’ nipples are too small, she prefers louke over louli, etc

also, sea doesn’t know this but i love coming up with theories about her (harmless ones, usually just with my a couple of friends, like sanju and lee).. i once sent her an anonymous ask that says ‘are you louis? i think i connected the dots’ but now i know better. she isn’t louis, she is oli. she basically confirmed it by saying she has ginger hair. i’ve connected the dots

yeah so sorry this reply is a bit short and doesn’t cover all the points but please know that i love sea a lot, i owe her a lot fandom wise, and if she ever needs me to fight people for her i definitely would

send me urls on anon so i can give u my opinion on them

#i'm sorry sea this description doesn't do you any justice #asks #seasurfacefullofclouds1 #an anonymous louie

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carolofdanvers · 4 years

Text

𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 - nomad steve rogers x sw! reader

steve rogers is not usually the guy to seek out a stranger for relief, but after going into hiding post-avengers-breakup in amsterdam, the sultry red glow emitting from the neon signs in the red light’s district seem more and more tempting each passing night.

( warnings: nsfw, rough, sex work, descriptive smut, slight dom x sub undertones, dark! nomad steve, angsty, oral sex (male recieving), etc. )

Word Count: approx. 4.9k

this is my first one shot, my apologies for making it so long! i got a little carried away. tbh i’m thinking about turning it into a series if people like it enough, i think theres room to explore things here but for now just enjoy! i’d love some feedback if you have any! happy reading!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

To say that Steve Rogers was exhausted would be an understatement. After the fight that broke out in Germany, where friends became enemies and enemies became friends, the blonde super soldier had lost track of time. Although the memories seared through his mind like a surgeons cautery pen as if they were yesterday, the image of Tony in a rage and taking hit after hit, Bucky going under cryo in Wakanda, it had been almost a year. It was hard to believe it; the burner phone weighed heavily in his pocket with no calls or text from his former friend and wealthy fellow avenger. But, in the time he had been on the run, Amsterdam had been the most recent place to call a temporary home. He had stayed in places not so pleasant, like the little motels all across Russia as he backpacked further west into Europe, never really staying in any place for long. He was overly cautious; the man had lost faith in most forms of authority, which rang with such a strong sense of irony considering he was at one point the epitome of a law abiding citizen. Poor pre-serum Steve wouldn't know what to think of the man he had become; bitter, closed off, easily agitated, irritable, and even a bit cruel. He hated the world that had suddenly hated him, the world he found himself wishing he had never woken up into. Steve had become so unbearable that he and sam had split ways for a while, promising to reconvene in London should it be necessary. But now, Steve was on his own, staring out the window of his hotel room that had the perfect view of the canals that swirled like ink, and the bridge that lead right into the ever so alluring Red Light District.

During the day, the Red Light District was rather inconspicuous, perhaps slightly less attractive than the rest of the city, if anything at all. The bricks aligned in a herringbone pattern practically guided you past window after window of beautiful women, quite literally anyone you imagined. The closer you get to the area, the louder the buzzing of neon gets. The bars are usually pretty empty during the day, a few stray women, presumably escorts, looking to pick up an alcoholic or two having a drink at noon. Steve often found himself in these bars, but only during the day to find a place away from the tourist infested hotel and his sad, tiny hotel room. He never got anything to drink besides water, since alcohol metabolized far too quickly in his body to have any affect on him anyways. It was times like these that he missed Thor’s Asgardian brews, the only alcohol he had ever tried that made him feel something, any kind of buzz. But alas, he stuck to water in the dimly lit, smokey bars with sunlight seeping in through the above-ground windows.

The women of the Red Light District never tempted him, at least during the day. Steve had never found the appeal in casual sex. Yes, he was a man with desires and wants and needs, but part of him was too unbothered to try anything. He had Sharon, at one point in time, early on in his fugitive life, but they had since parted ways for the same reason he and Sam parted ways. The man was far too distant to really feel anything, but there was something about this place at night that drew him in more than he wanted to admit. Was it the otherworldly red glow that caught his eye? Or rather the shadows of women dancing in the windows, that same sensual red caressing their skin, barely dressed and jewels adorning their skin and necklaces resting against collarbones and heels far too tall for day to day wear? Perhaps it was the EDM that pounded from the many clubs, or maybe there was something else he couldn’t explain, a primal nature in him that drove him to near madness when he lay in bed trying to sleep, the soft red glow haunting him through the thin curtains covering the sliding door to a balcony. Sometimes, Steve would sit out there, watching the wonderland from afar, scratching his beard as he contemplated venturing into the maw of the beast. He never gave in, knowing the risk of being caught was serving time for treason at best.

But this particular night, Steve was insatiable. His own hands couldn’t possibly satisfy the craving that couldn’t be satisfied, the itch that just couldn’t be scratched. He was usually relatively satisfied after a few minutes, his hand wrapped around the thick veiny shaft of his cock and leaning against the headboard of his bed as he swiftly sent himself over the edge. But tonight was something else entirely. He had gone at it three or four times, his bare and sculpted chest glistening with sweat and his lower half slick with his cum. It didn’t help that his neighbor in the suite next door must have brought home a girl, because between the pounding of the headboard against the wall and the fake moans the poor girl had to emit was obnoxious, Steve couldn’t possibly take it anymore. He put on a few layers, as it was starting to get a little chilly in the city, as well as a hat to hide his face behind, and ventured out into the belly of the beast. He wandered for a while, keeping his head low for a while, until he realized how the red lights drowned out most features. his hat cast a deep shadow over his face, his hands shoved in his pockets as he finally lift his head to look up at the scantily clad women in the windows, waving at passerby after passerby. A few spotted him and fear coursed through his veins, but they didn’t recognize him, only thought he was handsome enough to warrant their attention. but he wasn’t drawn to any of them, not like he was drawn to you.

You were something else entirely. Although you were tucked away towards the end of the rows of windows, your presence was enthralling. He moved closer to the window as if you were a siren and he was lured to you by your song. You hadn’t spotted him yet, dressed in what was more of a burlesque showgirl kind of costume, almost pinup style. The crystals upon your leather bra reflected the haunting neon lights into fragments of color, bouncing around and catching the eye, although your perky breasts were just another set of eye catchers. Steve felt his cock twitch beneath the denim of his jeans, cursing his quick recovery speed considering he had left his hotel almost immediately after his fourth orgasm of the night. The super soldier took off his hat and ran his hands through his long hair to disturb it, never once taking his eyes off of you. you had finally spotted him at this point, noticing the handsome figure now smirking at you as you made eye contact. His stunning blues still managed to shine underneath the red light and something about that carnal look behind them made you forget any other potential customer besides him. you moved coyly, turning around to play shy and peeking over your shoulder, but turning around exposed your plump bum and swaying your hips only accentuated such a feature. You checked again to see if he was still watching, which he was, though a smirk was ever so present beneath his thick beard. Your mouth began to water at the imaginary feeling of his beard between your legs, the coarse hair tickling your inner thighs. This is what sent you over the edge, lifting your hand and summoning him with a single finger, your long nails accentuating the movement. Steve hesitated for a moment, looking over both shoulders, before moving towards the door.

Steve had never solicited anyone before. He had never really had one night stands, let alone payed anyone for sex. He was that kind of guy who wanted chemistry and a relationship between him and his partner, as cheesy as that sounded. He may still be adjusting to the modern world but it didn’t matter when he woke up from being under ice, he would have always felt that way. But he sure as hell felt chemistry between you and him. He entered the room just as you were closing the curtains, standing in the doorway as he took in the layout of the very small room. Where you stood was the giant window that you lured customers through, the lights that once shone through the window were now blocked by thick curtains and that very same red light that haunted his every filthy thought flooded the room. It was tiny, a small bed a little larger than a twin was pressed against the wall, with a sink directly across. It was clean, plainly decorated, but clean. He assumed that every room looked like this. Steve finally got a closer look at you as you stood there staring at him, your painted lips curved into a teasing smile. He noticed that bit of mischief was prevalent in you; he could see it in your eyes, your expressive brows, your hands that wandered your own body to tease him, and god, was it working.

"You're new here." you said, moving in to place your hand's on his broad shoulders beneath his heavy canvas coat, letting them slide down to his chest and slowly unzip. Normally, you'd ask for your payment ahead of time, but this man seemed like he was going to be payment enough. "I've never seen you around, neither have the other girls. Otherwise there would have been plenty of talk. It's not often we get handsome strangers like you in all to ourselves."

Steve was mildly surprised to hear english, tensing up as he felt you unzip his coat, but he couldn't help but let you. Your accent didn't sound like the natives of Amsterdam, making him more and more curious about you. Every new thing he learned about you made him crave you even more, and though he was holding back, he wasn't sure he wanted to anymore.

"Your accent. It isn't Dutch." he was curt, his words getting to the point and it only made you wonder if he would be this harsh and unrefined with your body, something you had been craving from a beautiful man like him.

"It isn't." You pushed his coat off his shoulders to reveal a white t shirt that looked a few sizes too small considering his bulging muscles. The sleeves look like they'd burst any moment. "Would you like it to be?" You purred, arms wrapping around his neck and playing with his long hair, hair that hadn't seen a barber in far too long. "I can be a sweet little girl from London, or perhaps a feisty American woman, or a seductive French Woman fresh from Paris," You mimicked every accent with uncanny precision, leaving the blonde man unsettled and impressed. There was more to you than meets the eye, apparently. Steve was tense as he felt you get even closer, the heat from your bare body enough to make him feel that desire come back full force, blood rushing to his lower abdomen and feeling himself get warm as his large hands finally found their place at your waist, that mischievous smirk growing upon your red lips. "I can be anyone you want me to be." you tugged at his hair playfully.

"To be frank, I don't care. Just be you." he pulled you in roughly, body to body, face only inches from each other. A silent agreement was made between the two of you; this was really going to happen. Your lips collided into a heated kiss. Steve had never felt so sexually attracted to someone in his life without really knowing them. Perhaps that was the appeal, the idea that he had no idea who you were, only that you were willing to do almost anything and be anyone he asked for some euros. He pulled away from the kiss, the two of you now panting as you tugged at the hem of his shirt and helped him lift it up over his head, revealing one hell of a body. What was a man like him doing in Amsterdam alone? Was he single or was he filling the void of a lacking lover with prostitutes in the window brothels? You did not have time to dwell upon those thoughts any longer as his lips found your neck, his arms wrapped around you from behind as you let out little mewls of pleasure. His scratchy beard sent shivers down your spine, lips leaving little red splotches that would surely darken over time. His grip was strong, commanding, a little harsh, but you liked that.

"What can I call you?" you purred, pushing your hips back into his and finding that he had a large bulge that was only getting bigger by the moment. "How does that feel, Sir?" you tested, your hand reaching behind to touch his face while the other rest on top of one of his hands and guided it to your breast. "Do you like it, Master?" Still not a satisfactory reaction from the man you wished to seduce, although he continued to work at your neck and let out a soft groan as his large hand cupped at your breast still covered by the costume you wore. "If you want it, come and get it, Daddy." This was the name, you decided, noticing him freeze at the name before his grip got rougher and he was a little more reckless with you. Steve caught that mischievous look in your eyes again in the mirror and finally the man let go of all his inhibitions. He spun you around to face him before he kissed you again, sloppily and full of need as if you were his life force. His hands wandered your back, pulling you towards him and pressing your body against his chiseled one. the kiss was suffocating in the best way possible, one of his hands sliding up to your face, leaving a trail of goosebumps upon your skin. It settled at your neck, momentarily wrapping around it as if he threatened to tighten his grip, before pressing at the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. He grabbed fistfuls of your freshly done curls that reminded him of the show girls he toured with back in the forties. Everything about you screamed home to him, despite you being completely unaware of what home even was to him, despite him not even having a home anymore. You pulled away only to look him in those beautiful light eyes, the two of you basking in the deep red light that perfectly reflected the heavy heat of the room. Your hands swiftly moved to undo his belt and slide down his jeans that pooled down at his knees, leaving him in his briefs. The imprint of his bulge clearly showed how he yearned for you, his shaft wanting nothing more to escape its confine. you guided him to the little bed and had him lean against it while you wedged yourself between his legs. The way you looked up at him had him going wild, innocent eyes looking up at him through thick lashes as you palmed his cock through the thin fabric. You loved the way he looked down at you, the way his knuckles had turned white from gripping the edge of the bed too rough. He looked down at you with an intensity you rarely saw in a man as you hooked your thumbs into the elastic waistband and tugged down, his member springing out and standing at attention as his boxers joined his other clothing on the floor. Steve watched in awe as you left open mouth kisses on the veiny shaft, groaning upon the feeling of your soft lips where he craved you the most. You were shocked at how large he was, although you shouldn’t have been just by looking at him. You lifted the mattress to grab a condom wrapper, tearing it open and rolling it over his hard member. You, like all the other sex workers in the Red Light District, refused to not use a condom. It was common knowledge and Steve silently agreed to it. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable. His hands found their place in your hair again as your tongue dragged from the base to tip, flicking over the slit that leaked clear precum into the latex. Steve’s body reacted more than he would have liked, involuntarily tensing. A low growl rumbled in his chest as you finally began to take him into your mouth, little by little as your hands with manicured nails wrapped around the shaft. He watched you as you began to bob your head, groans of pleasure escaping him. You looked so beautiful to him, unearthly and sinful with drool dribbling down your chin and watery eyes from taking his thick length into your mouth and hitting the back of your throat. He hadn’t felt the touch of a woman in too long, unaware of how much he had been craving physical intimacy. Watching you move was enough to make him explode right then and there, but he held it back, the coil in his lower abdomen tightening up as he threatened to orgasm.

"Yeah, that's right, doll, take it." he moaned, really getting into things now. You looked up to see his eyes shut and head tossed back. His neck was tense and jaw clenched. He was already close to an orgasm, which was unsurprising to a woman in your field, however you didn't want the fun to end so soon. Your hands moved away from his cock and you braced yourself on either of his thighs as you began to deepthroat him, taking all seven inches down. Suppressing your gag reflex was easy enough, although your jaw ached from his girth. He let out a guttural moan, one he couldn't hold back like the others as your lips closed around him and bottomed out down your throat. He pulled on your hair, the pleasure too overwhelming, but you refused to let him give in. You pulled away with a gasp, strings of saliva connected from his cock to your lips as you breathed heavily and your hands moved at the pace your head had bobbed.

"Does Daddy like it? Does it make him wanna bust? Come on, Daddy-" Steve had enough of the taunting. He lift your chin up so he could look at you, a proper mess with smeared lip stick and drool, wiping it away with his thumb.

"You drive me insane." was all he said before he scooped you up and placed you on the bed. He kicked off his clothes that pooled around his ankles and swiftly undid your own bra, your nipples hardening to the cool air as Steve hovered over you. Once again, his lips found their place at your neck, admiring his marks that had now deepened and went over them again, but unsuspecting you had been so consumed with the feeling of his lips on your neck and trailing down that you hadn't noticed his hand slip away from your waist and slipped beneath the fabric of your lacy promiscuous bottoms. Your eyes, which had previously been shut as you enjoyed his lips on your neck, flew open as you gasped, back arching up towards his hovering body upon feeling his fingers slide between your slick folds. Steve wanted nothing more than to slide into you right then and there upon hearing that beautiful sigh escape you. His cock twitched in need as his lips trailed further down, nibbling on your collarbones and leaving breathy, open mouth kisses until taking the delicate rosebud of your nipple into his mouth and sucking gently while a finger skillfully slid inside you. Your moans were symphonic, like beautiful song, although he knew they weren't faked like the neighbor's girl, her sing-songy moans that annoyed him to no end. He was genuinely pleasing her, and he loved it. You grew wetter by the second, the feeling of his finger, and then fingers inside of you, his lips leaving marks all over your breasts, you weren't sure how much longer you could last. And there was another moment of silent communication, as Steve pulled away, sliding his middle and ring finger out of her and placing them to her lips. "Be a good girl and clean them up." he demanded, groaning as you parted your lips and sucked his fingers clean, tongue swirling around them sensually. His cock twitched at the feeling before pouncing, pinning you down and kissing you feverishly and you reciprocating once more. His hands slid down your body to remove what little clothing was still on you, leaving the two of you bare. Your taste on your tongue was intoxicating, and if he had more time and more patience he would have savored it and perhaps gone down on you, but he was impatient and needed you. Steve's eyes met yours as he lined himself up with you and slid in, the two of you erupting into moans neither of you could hold back. It had been almost a year since the last time Steve had had sex, but you didn't have that excuse. Your moans shocked you. Steve shocked you. You had sex all into the night, every single night, several men leaving this very room and yet none of them felt the way Steve did inside of you. You were unsure of whether or not it was because of how attracted to each other you both were or if he was simply that large (or perhaps it was both), but as he bottomed out inside of you, your nails dug into his broad shoulders and he buried his face into the crook of your neck. You shut your eyes tight, seeing stars from the sheer pleasure of it all, but slowly it began to fade, to which Steve took as a sign to begin to move. He pinned your arms over your head as he pulled almost all the way out, smirking as he slammed back into you. It felt intense as he reached spots few other men had over reached, proving himself superior with every roll of his hips. Steve found satisfaction in the way your face morphed, eyes squeezing shut and nose scrunching before lips parted and formed a perfect "o" shape, letting out another moan that was like music to his ears. It spurred him on, encouraging him to keep going. "You like that, baby?" he asked, although you were so consumed by the pleasure that only incoherent mumbles could escape your lips. Steve wasn't satisfied by this. "Use your words, dollface or else Daddy won't let you cum. Tell me how much you love how I fuck you." He demanded, really getting into it as he picked up the pace, grunting softly as your tight walls gripped him like no other. You were a desperate mess at this point, eyes wild and filled with arousal and fear as the sounds of sex filled the air, skin to skin contact and the faint thumping of EDM from a nearby club. The unmistakable smell of it consumed your mind, unable to form a single proper thought and fully enveloped in this electrifying sense of primal desire. Your body felt hot, a thin sheen of sweat glistening upon your skin like diamonds, your baby hair starting to stick to your forehead from the pleasure of it all. You could feel yourself reaching your climax but you knew he'd deny you of that thing you chased if you didn't talk, if you didn't beg for it. "God, I love how you fuck me, Daddy. You're so big inside of me, you fill me up so good-" You were interrupted by a moan that escaped you involuntarily as he purposely rolled his hips deep into you. You were dangerously close and Steve could feel it too, the way you clenched around him, the way your body rolled like the tides beneath him. He needed to orgasm, but he refused until he heard you beg. "Beg for me, baby girl." He demanded, now thrusting at an ungodly speed. You weren't sure how any human could move like this, but you had no idea who he was, really. You had no idea that he wasn't some average human, you could only assume he was just some guy with extraordinary skills. Steve let go of your hands to get better leverage over you, and your hands flew to his back. "Please Daddy, let me cum," you begged, nails digging into his skin and leaving claw marks upon his flesh to serve as a reminder later when he showered that this was not a dream. "I love how good you fuck me, no other man can possibly compare to you. I love your big cock inside of me, it makes me feel so good. Please daddy, I'm begging you, let your baby girl cum-" You were interrupted by his hand reaching down to find your clit and begin circling it with his fingers, nearly sending you over the edge. But it wasn't his skillful fingers or his thrusting that got you to your peak, but his words, his command that brought you to your orgasm. "Cum for me, doll." Four simple words made you cum, an explosive orgasm that reminded you of the birth of a star. Pleasure ripped through you like white hot lightning and rippled out to your fingers and toes and left you feeling like you were made of stardust and nothing more. You hadn't even realized how loud you were moaning because you were so consumed with the immense pleasure he brought you. Your toes curled and eyes shut tight, head tossed back, shaking violently as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in and deeper inside of you. Steve was close, himself, but you pulling him in deeper and deeper with your strong legs around his waist sent him over the edge. He wanted to admire the beauty that was you as you orgasmed, but he could hardly focused as you had tightened around him and an orgasm was imminent. He thrust into you once, twice, and three more times before he came as well, spilling into the condom wrapped around his shaft. He let out a guttural moan in your ear, his own eyes shut tight. The two of you slowly fell from your highs together, panting heavily. Steve's warm breath tickled your neck as he peppered kisses upon your skin again, softening inside of you. It took a moment for you to recover, as it did for Steve, but he seemed eager to leave. You were a bit disappointed as he got up so soon and threw away the used condom, sighing as he was finally satisfied. for now. "How much do I owe you?" he asked as he started to get dressed again, the jingling of his belt filling the heavy silence in the room. You looked at him, languidly propped up on the bed, staring at him like he was a god. "Nothing." you said after a moment of silence. he paused and looked at you, pushing back his long hair and suppressing a smile. "I've never had sex like that before, you must've been angry for a very long time." You teased, grabbing your robe and wrapping yourself up. You grabbed your cigarette and lit it, blowing smoke out between your smudged lips. He scoffed and shook his head, putting his t shirt back on. "Yeah. I guess you could say that." His voice was low, gravelly and quiet, as if that were a loaded statement. If only he could tell you of his troubles, the tales of glory and triumphs...and losses. He had walked in with slumped shoulders and his guard up, but now you noticed his posture had straightened and he seemed a little lighter on his feet. That alone was enough payment. It amused you. You stared at the wallpaper for a moment as he slipped on his hat and began to push the door open. "Can I be expecting you again?" you asked, trying not to let the hopefulness seep into your words. He looked down at his shoes before looking up at you, your curls all distressed, smeared lipstick, blowing smoke out into the air as you leaned against the bed they had fucked on only moments ago. You were otherworldly, and though sometimes it was hard for you to see yourself as even human, he thought the world of you. Brave enough to let strange men fuck you, enter the most vulnerable state a human can be. He admired that about you. "I don't know," was all he could say. You looked at him and nodded, taking a drag from your cigarette and sighing, smoke exiting your body through your nose. Looking down at your bare feet, you pursed your lips. "Well, you know where to find me." You told him. He took one last look at you before he nodded respectfully, leaving without another word. And with that, he disappeared like a ghost.

#steve rogers x reader #marvel #mcu fanfiction #mcu #steve rogers #smut #steve rogers smut #self insert #steve rogers x self insert #marvel smut #marvel imagine #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america x fem #nomad steve #nomad steve rogers #nomad steve x reader

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oh-lali-lali-lali-lalipop · 4 years

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@mysteriousdbzgt: Hi oh-lali-lali-lali-lalipop! Thank you for your ask. First of all, thanks for asking this question here on my personal (and also for the follow over on t&bftw, welcome aboard! :D) I think you can probably tell from here, that I’m a huge supporter of them becoming romantically involved lol I don’t shy about that here, but I like to present a more neutral stance over on my news dedicated blog, to not influence others of my personal opinions. With regards to the new season, as much as I would be supportive of it, I unfortunately highly doubt that they would become “official” in S2 or anything in the future, but will remain extremely dedicated and attentive to one another, regardless of their constant bickering. The creators of the show are more than aware of the popularity of the “couple”, being constantly popular at doujinshi events and the continuous amounts of merchandise that they bring out, which regularly focuses on the main duo rather than all of the Heroes all the time. The fandom is primarily dominated by women, when originally the show was supposed to target men and “salarymen”, but attracted a completely different demographic that they hadn’t anticipated. I can only think that’s mainly because of the appeal of K&B. Also not helped by some of the staff’s, let’s just say, “unfiltered” thoughts when they discuss about K & B in older interviews, centering around “love” and other similar notions. I think they still want to keep this series aimed towards a male demographic, even if the results don’t line up as they expect. But highly ironically, it’s what makes the show successful, so I doubt they would want to change how they portray Kotetsu and Barnaby’s relationship. Personally I would be absolutely over the moon if they did become “official”, because they’re just perfect for one another (hehe) and it could just break so many standard conventions/boundaries on how media portrays same-sex relationships, if done appropriately, and not be labelled with any genre tags like “BL”, “yaoi” or anything similar, and still simply just be a “drama”, “superhero” tale, with the two main males eventually getting together but not make a big song and dance about it. If we want to normalise LGBT relationships within our media and what we consume, then we need to drop these tags and portray them in a healthy manner, which I think the show does well between them both. I believe that the staff have the talent to pull it off, they just need to be cautious on how they do it. Like you said, how FE is presented in the show which such great self confidence about themselves and who they are, really shows that they can write this. Also T&B’s spiritual successor show, Double Decker (who had a lot of the same staff) tackles some LGBT themes pretty well, so they could absolutely do it. But yeah, I don’t think they’ll become “official” unfortunately. But if anything, I anticipate that KxB will most likely be working even closer together in S2, so they’ll be more in tune with one another, and possibly open up even more to each other than they did before. Hopefully they’ll be over the huge feuds and split apart phase, which The Rising focused on (they’ll still bicker all the time, but that’s just how they are), so we can see just how far their relationship has come and changed for the better. Anyway this is probably way too long (sorry), but always interested to hear your thoughts too! :)

Heya! Before I start I just wanna say thank you so much for taking the time to give me such a thorough reply, it is incredibly well thought out and written! I also want to say I am so freaking sorry you had to type out my monstrosity of a name (seriously didn’t think about that when making the joke lol). Oh, and I’m equally sorry for the formatting of the reply... really had no clue how to go about it, so I just defaulted to going about it the roleplayer way haha. Anyways, for starters, I think I should say that I actually agree with you a lot. You see, logically I think it feels highly unlikely they’d make them “official” in the new season. I’m not sure if I feel like it’s unlikely because I, someone who’s in the LGBTQ community, am a pessimist (aka, I’m negative regardless of proof) who is use to companies not delivering on it/assume companies won’t deliver on it.... or if I’m genuinely, but unconsciously, picking up on Sunrise’s stance of “not gonna happen”. Despite all that I still feel stupidly hopeful about it (y’know, heart louder than the mind and all that jazz)... and I guess for the sake of the discussion I’ll break down why! lol So, I got into the fandom.... around the time of The Rising, I think, so anywhere from 2014 to 2015. I instantly fell in love with it all, but I did end up falling out of the loop for awhile (being a teenager and all that). Recently (recently being that I finished S1 on Friday, watched The Rising on Sunday, and now I’m here lol) I got back into it and.... wow, a lot of it is the same, and.... at the same time it felt like I had so much more to process. It’s still as amazing as ever, if not even more so, and just like with everything else I love with my entire being I started to analyze it and read into it (maybe a little bit too much so lol). In all honesty, KxB seriously stood out even more so than it did last time for me (I don’t know if it’s because I’m now accepting of my sexuality or what) and while it’s not actually the best part of the series to me (God, Barnaby’s arc means so much to me what with me struggling with cPTSD, but that story is best left on my RP blog) I do have to admit that the pairing is... incredibly meaningful, and beautiful. Moving for me, really. I guess the following observations, and hopeful thinking that came after it, could be deduced to me just wearing shipper goggles, but considering my habit of over analyzing and breaking things down... I do try to make predictions and opinions logically, and with that in mind it’s why I’m so stuck on the “hopeful thinking”, since a tiny bit of logical thinking is fueling it. Tiger & Bunny is about human relationships, really. For a show focusing on NEXTs... it’s really about humanity, corruption, society, relationships... and KxB all along the first season is written as an undertone, like a slow burn (which is entirely fitting, and seriously makes any relationship better), which fits because the first season is, in actuality, not focused on that (the plot being bigger than we can see and all that). In the end, having rewatched it, I also noticed how, really, the undertone is written in such a way that.... it feels like Barnaby is the one with the “crush” (or is the first one to realize it) which... kinda fits with the old statements from the crew. Kotetsu the forever oblivious one who hasn’t had an epiphany yet (although if I’m being honest, The Rising seems to have this “side-plot” feeling of Kotetsu having the epiphany when he realizes what he’s lost, which is what I meant by the flow of the series somewhat feels like it’s building towards it)... .... There’s also the whole “leaving it to interpretation thing” they said back then. Which, I have to agree with some other people that it feels like it’s just a way of saying “it’s romantic but we don’t want to take that risk”.... and that was back around 2011. It’ll have been decade since then when S2 is released, and, while a decade is just a decade, a lot has changed on a societal basis since then. Even during this decade long gap Sunrise has become more bold with their representation, whether it be Double Decker! or The Rising.... almost like they’re testing the waters... and what better way to champion representation than to make two main characters the representation? This franchise is... so human in it’s story, and the meaning doing such a thing would have for so many people... in a way, I think out ways some of the risks. I feel like the build up is there, the want is there (tbh seeing posts on tumblr of people talking about how they hope they’ll get a kiss in S2 or something “official” like that also fueled this)... it just depends on whether they’ll feel afraid or not. Which is, really, why I asked for your opinion. You do such good work at trying to bridge the gap between the Japanese fandom/Sunrise and the English speaking community (which, btw, you are amazing at, I can’t thank you enough for the work you do), and I knew you’d be more informed on Sunrise’s attitude and statements, as well as the general opinions and depositions of the Japanese fans. In the end, I can “read into” things all I want, but it won’t matter if you can’t understand the one who pulls the strings... and because of that I wanted to know your opinion. I’m so so sorry this got so long!! I’m really horrible at summarizing myself, so this turned into a major ramble.... I’m gonna wrap it up now before this turns into a novel haha. Again, thank you so much for responding to my question and for being open to discussing it, it means so much! I truly respect your opinion, since it helps me clear my own thoughts, as well as gives me a dose of reality so I don’t get my hopes up too much... I guess in the end though, a part of me is going to continue to think that they just might have the heart to do it, irregardless lol. I look forwards to seeing what you have to say about what I’ve written here!

#mysteriousdbzgt #thoughts #Tiger & Bunny #I have no clue why tumblr tried to squash your post when I copied it like Kotetsu squashes his burgers #but jesus fucking christ #also tumblr what did you do to block quotes wtf

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electra-xt · 3 years

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midnight hotline is one of my favorite fics! it's so rare to find an author willing to treat both luther AND diego as, yk, three-dimensional characters instead of caricatures. i was wondering if you still have interest in their dynamic after s2? tbh i love reading your lists of headcanons, so would delight in any thoughts you have about them as a ship or polycule w/ other characters. no worries if not! thank you either way for feeding us the good content!

ahhh thank you!! luther deserves sooo much more than the fandom gives him, doesn’t he? (although i feel like after the initial s1 backlash i now see a lot of posts that wax eloquent about how poor luther is misunderstood and the most traumatized, so perhaps people are seeing it differently.) they deserve to be three-dimensional characters! they have the potential! even if the writers in season 2 decided to dumb them down a ridiculous amount. olga foroga? everyone leaving diego hanging with ‘team zero’? it felt like the writers were like “well tom hopper has great comedic timing. what if we did that and nothing else.” that being said though, i DID like how when luther stormed out of elliot’s house, diego followed him and tried to give him a pep talk. good shit! enemies to brothers!

i don’t think i’d personally write more about luther/diego as a couple— midnight hotline encapsulates pretty much all i have to say about the two of them, tbh. in terms of polycules i am a huge fan of luther/allison/diego as a threesome and i can trace this back to the fight scene at the academy in s1e3 which was decadent for a simple person such as myself who appreciates competent people kicking ass together. the reason i love luther, diego, and allison together is the power dynamics between them and the rest of the academy” luther obviously was number one, allison had an extremely socially potent power, and diego schemed all he could to climb in his status. in general, i’m much more interested in stories about powerful people experiencing a reckoning with their status and assumptions than i am about underestimated underdogs. so i am enthusiastic and excited when i see them all kicking ass togethee

i actually wrote about 7-8k words of a second luther/allison/diego fic last december, but i don’t think i’ll be able to finish it— buuut i can post a snippet here! the premise is that they are teenagers at the academy, allison is goading them into manifesting their sexual tension, and diego and luther are coming back from sneaking out to a club :)

The footsteps got louder. Allison inhaled and then exhaled, forcibly calming herself, and then she heard the sound of familiar laughter.

“They fucking loved you, man, don’t act so surprised. You can’t go in a club flexing all your muscles like that and then act like it’s crazy when girls start coming up to you and petting you.”

“I wasn’t trying to flex at anyone— you told me this shirt was fine.”

“It is,” Diego said, “if you’re trying to get laid.”

“You said it was normal.”

“Wanting to get laid is normal, buddy. We’re at the house. Come on, I’ll show you how to get back in.”

Allison stubbed out her cigarette on the metal piping on the roof, and then she climbed out onto her window, perching carefully on the windowsill as they came around the corner into the courtyard.

Luther was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white tank top. It clung to every curve of his muscles. No wonder the girls had gone crazy over him. He looked good, appealing in a rugged way, yet less rough-and-tumble than Diego, who looked like he was smudged with some girl’s body glitter. Luther was leaning on Diego a little bit as he walked. The two of them looked excruciatingly perfect in the dim light, and Allison let out a tiny sigh.

“You good?” Diego said, looking up at Luther.

“Can we,” Luther said, “just sit for a moment?”

“You really need to?” Diego said.

“Yeah,” Luther said, stumbling to the bench in the courtyard and sitting down hard. “Yeah.”

“Oh, baby, you’re drunk,” Diego said, in awe.

“So?” Luther said. “Don’t you do this all the time?”

“I’ll have a drink,” Diego said, sitting down next to him. “But it’s not really the point of going out.”

“You’re tipsy right now,” Luther said. He reached in and tapped Diego’s nose.

Diego batted his hand away too quickly, and Luther laughed. “I don’t usually drink too much,” Diego said. “It’s… special occasions.”

“Like this?” Luther said.

“Going out with my clueless straight boy brother?” Diego said. “Yeah, I’d say that’s special.”

“I don’t know why you’re always telling me I’m straight,” Luther said.

“‘Cause you are,” Diego said. “I mean, I’m not— it’s not a big deal. I don’t care about it. Thought I just… we both know where we stand.”

“I’m not straight,” Luther said.

There was no noise. Allison leaned out the window a little further.

“Oh,” Diego said.

“You wanted to know where we… stood,” Luther said.

“Yeah,” Diego said.

“Is that a problem?”

“You keep it pretty quiet,” Diego said.

“So do you,” Luther said.

“Fuck,” Diego said. He rubbed his face. “This whole time, gay chicken, I thought you were a…”

“I’m not a clueless straight boy,” Luther said.

“You’re a clueless not-straight boy.”

“Diego.”

“Sorry,” Diego said, sounding the opposite of sorry, but he was quiet for a moment. The next time he spoke, he sounded tentative. “You’re really into guys, huh?”

“Don’t be weird about it,” Luther said, looking down at his hands.

“I’m not, man, I promise,” Diego said. He laughed a little. “I mean, I get it better than anybody.”

“It’s not really a part of me I thought about a lot,” Luther said. “Until Allison’s… game.”

“Allison made it weird,” Diego said.

Allison felt a flush of shame from her perch on the windowsill. Fuck her intentions. Fuck herself. Whenever she tried to intervene in a situation, save for a crime scene, she always dug her fingers in too far and made a mess, didn’t she? And Jesus, she didn’t even rumor them this time.

“Yeah,” Luther said. He paused.

“What?” Diego said.

“I don’t know,” Luther said. He still wasn’t looking at him. “You’re right. It’s weird.”

“She has some balls to pull this shit,” Diego said. He shook his head. “Gay chicken.”

“I don’t mind that it’s weird,” Luther said.

Allison went still.

“Really,” Diego said.

Luther shifted. “I know it’s— weird that I don’t think it’s weird, because it’s weird, but—”

“Are you into it?” Diego said, voice low.

Allison could barely breathe from the silence.

Luther looked down.

“Hey,” Diego said, tipping Luther’s chin up with his hand. “You get shy all of a sudden?”

“Diego,” Luther said, “are you…” He shook his head, as if chastising himself. “Are you—”

He cut himself off. Allison watched him, holding her breath, and she could see Diego watching him too. Everything seemed to hinge on Luther in this moment— unlike every mission in which he was Number One, titled as the captain, the boy king, and it was easy to brush him off. But right now, from her windowsill, Allison was magnetically drawn to the boy on the bench with a question in his mouth and a white undershirt that seemed to glow in the nighttime.

“You can say it,” Diego said quietly.

“You don’t know what it is,” Luther said.

“If I knew,” Diego said, “I wouldn’t need you to say it.”

Luther swallowed.

“C’mon,” Diego said. “Let it out.”

His voice was hushed. Allison could barely hear him. Luther looked up at him, disbelieving.

“Are you into me?” Luther said, looking up at him.

Diego nodded, once. Then he nodded again. “Yeah,” he said. “I— this whole time, Allison’s game, I wanted… you better not be fucking with me, you better not tell anyone, I swear to God— you better forget this when you sober up tomorrow.”

“No,” Luther said.

Diego blinked. “What?”

“I don’t want to forget,” Luther said, and he dragged Diego in and kissed him.

#replies #shipping talk

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maddiefriendlovesbilly · 4 years

Note

Did you ever review Ghost x Spooker? I cant find it if you did (I checked the spooker tag)

Ghost x Spooker

(If you couldn’t tell, the answer was no haha. I actually had to go check that myself...and got it confused with Ghost x Josh more times than I care to admit tbh,,,)

So, unpopular opinion, I actually think this ship is p cute!

I did a couple small RPs with a friend from the VT Fan Amino a while back

I think I probably prefer PolyPIE over this ship though because the relationship overall seems more balanced in that

I do have some concerns about just the two of them together

But that’s for later

For now, here are the good things™:

So imagine the softness

Ghost isn’t used to affection so he gets super flustered

And when he actually gives affection back (even little things, like holding his hand n stuff, especially when they’re in public) Spooker just goes completely red and has the biggest smile on his face

Which makes Ghost smile too

But like really tiny cause he’s nervous and shy

Look I’m just here for ghost giving little bits of affection and being appreciated for trying and definitely not projecting I mean What

Little smooches

Listen okay listen

Little. Smooches.

Just

Yis

he giv Smooch

Which he you ask? Yes.

So now for the Uh-Ohs™:

I think many of my concerns are similar to those I had with Ghost x Josh

Because canon Ghost is a Bossy Man and Spooker is sort of a softer soul

They also started off quite hostilely - but who doesn’t with Ghost at this point let’s be honest - and honestly from the content I’ve seen (I stopped watching vids a year or so ago? Please let me know if this has changed!) he doesn’t seem to respect Spooker, and barely seems to tolerate his presence - but again, not that this is unusual for him lmao.

I think this relationship could be either very sweet or very unhealthy

Because it could be the story of Ghost learning to open up to people again after many traumatic events throughout his life; OR it could result in one person holding most of the power in a relationship, and either knowingly or - more likely - unintentionally, abusing it and Spooker.

I mean I love Ghost, but he’s got some shit going on man

Like he’s known Toast for almost his entire life, considers him his best friend and partner in crime, and still doesn’t seem to fully trust him with most of his secrets (*cough cough*) - no matter if Toast knows about them nonetheless.

I mean it’s completely valid to not feel comfortable talking about your trauma, but what I’m trying to say is if he doesn’t feel comfortable telling Toast, the person he seems to trust most, would he open up to Spooker? I mean maybe, maybe he’d feel more comfortable trusting that with someone who he didn’t grow up with, that he can cut ties with more easily, who knows.

(Of course this is all assuming he knows about Jimmy/Gregory/CBF/etc.)

Alright! Onto less depressing topics! I lied it gets depressing again

Based on my points above, I think I’d like to see Spooker helping Ghost work through his traumatic memories, maybe getting him to go to therapy, stuff like that

And no one’s ever gone out of their way like that for him before, y’know? I mean, his parents are long gone, and Toast probably doesn’t know how to help at this point - plus the fact that he has his own issues to work through, i.e. macaroni addiction, alcoholism, drug dealing (I’m like 98.6% sure he sells drugs y’all), and maybe childhood neglect or abuse? He doesn’t mention his parents often, if ever, only his grandmother and once in a blue moon his siblings; For instance, why was Jonathan Toast, grandson of the Queen, who - depending on a whole bunch of succession-law-bullshit that I did way too much research on for a post that has nothing to do with Toast or his family - could be as high as 4th in line for the throne allowed to hunt for potentially dangerous paranormal entities unguarded at age 8 with some random kid who, if he does, in fact, have a past or home, is either unwilling to share it or knows just as little as everyone else? Why is Gavin Toast, maybe around 4th or 5th in line, left unattended to a life of crime when he very well should be perfectly cared for, being a member of the royal family? Just some food for thought, and I’m so sorry this turned into a Toast family analysis but I’m keeping it in cause I researched for this shit man.

bACk oN tOpiC: Maybe Ghost doesn’t even realize he’s been through any traumatic experiences, because he’s lived the majority of his life this way?

I’m so sorry if I’m completely misrepresenting PTSD here oh my god please forgive mE

And Spooker sees his reaction to like blood, or CBF, or something, which looks an awful lot like a panic attack to him, and thinks, “Hold on just a frickin moment here–” and maybe he calms Ghost down before he can turn into the Jam Man using some breathing and/or sensory exercises and wow, no one’s ever done that before either!

And like, it takes a while for Ghost to even admit there’s a problem, but maybe a few months later Spooker gets him to book an appointment with a therapist, and Ghost makes it clear the whole way there that he thinks its a complete waste of time and money, and they should just cancel now and go back to base, but maybe by this time Spooker knows him well enough to know he’s actually terrified of going in, of talking about things he’s only just remembering now, of trusting anybody with these parts of his life he only just learned about, let alone someone who he’s never met.

And Spooker can probably see his panic in the way his eyes dart around the vehicle, vigilant in their search for a threat.

So Spooker asks if he can touch Ghost, so as not to startle him, and gets a minute, jerk of a nod in response. He nods back and takes Ghost’s hand from where it strangles the arm rest, lacing their fingers together. Ghost tenses for a long moment, before gradually melting downward, shoulders relaxing and rigid posture slumping to something more comfortable.

And just maybe, they walk into the therapist’s office together, fingers still intertwined, and while the therapist might have to drag the information out of Ghost, and he glares venomously any time a question feels too invasive, the effect is not quite as intimidating as he’d probably like it to be, because never once throughout the appointment does he free their linked hands, which rest on the couch in the narrow space between their thighs.

Y’all I’m so sorry this isn’t longer but my left pinkie is cold from a lack of blood flow and my hands and wrists ache from writing something on my phone earlier, so I’m gonna have to cut it here! Thank you for taking the time to read my shitty, shitty post ♥♥♥

Conclusion: Do I think this pairing would work? Hmmm… I’m really not sure. I think this could honestly go either way, but I think it has the potential to be either really cute or really toxic. I want to give this an “I really hope so!” But looking back I can see there seem to be more cons than pros,,, so logically I think I have to say a “probably not” :’) Thank you anon for suggesting this!

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sleepycoffins-and-benhargreeves · 3 years

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Yes! Steven rilling Andrew up is an daily thing tbh. I loved your observations on the last 3eps of worth it. The sounds they made in the savory pie ep were WILD, get a room (with only one bed lol, classic theme that i enjoy even if it's cliche❤️). Btw do you know this fic called sweet stuff? I rec it, Steven + dress is *chef kiss*. Also off topic i love those AU in which Andrew is a history teacher and Steven is an engineer and both are basically nerd af but in the cutest way possible

Steven, no matter how innocent, is just too naive at times to resist! He does things that are so innocent, and tbh, it sometimes flies by me as well, but Andrew always always notices so tbh, sometimes Steven doesn't even have to try and rile Andrew up lmao bitch gets riled up on his own

And Worth it’s last three ep’s? We all can just clearly see the heart eyes Steven and Andrew give each other. IT’S THAT STRONG. QUARANTINE CAN’T CONTAIN THEM lmao Also, I remember that part with Steven talking about soulmates and such, him calling him and Andrew soulmates and that’s just *sighs dreamily* they truly do love each other that much (PS: I keep forgetting to gif that part, I’ve been so busy recently lol)

AND YES YES, I KNOW THAT FANFIC IT IS FUCKING AMAZING UGHHHHHH ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ It’s one of the few fics I always re-read (most of the fics I reread are either smut or age-regression tbh) Steven is a dress iss sooooo good, especially when he’s in his cute pastel fluffy element. That fanfic was an amazing mixture of fluffy and smutty and goddddd, the author really delivered to us! THEY MADE A MASTERPIECE *chef kiss as well*

AND DID YOU JUST SAY ENGINEER STEVEN!? *whips out a couple of my unfinished fanfics*

If I could direct your lovely attention here Anon lol, I made this promo post before for my Standrew Tenshibyou AU. This one is gonna be long as well and I haven’t finished it yet lmao but a bit of spoiler, Steven is an engineer here and while Andrew, not really a history teacher, is a dietician. I wanted him to have a job that still involves food, but more on research and I decided on this uwu ❤️

tbh, that fanfic doesn’t even have a title yet lmao Can’t decide whether to name it as Angels & Demons or Angel Sanctuary tbh will think of more soon lol

I have another Engineer!Steven, but it’s also in the gothic-horror genre lmao It’s a Doctor Sleep AU, and more of a Stadamdrew rather than just Standrew ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

but hmmmm History teacher Andrew and Engineer Steven is also a very good AU e.e I do love the idea of them being such nerds together e.e Anon, how dare u give me another idea lmaooo THIS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA THO

Okay, so let’s start it off like this:

Shane and Andrew work at the same university, they’re both history teachers so let’s just make this a huge university (idk how it is in America, but my old uni had double professors at times lol). Shane is trying to invite Andrew and Adam to one of their outings because Shane wants his fellow professor to go out and enjoy, he thinks Andrew is too focused on his work needs to loosen up a bit.

Andrew, begrudgingly, finally agrees as long as Adam goes along with him (Adam didn’t need to be persuaded, because he had a very healthy social lifestyle thank you very much).

They meet at this swanky bar where Shane is off to meet his boyfriend Ryan. Ryan, incidentally, brought along his bestfriend Steven who just RECENTLY CAME OUT AS GAY. Ryan is trying to show his bestfriend a good time and maybe *nudge nudge* set him up with someone cute while he’s at it.

OH OH I WANT A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN ADAM AND ANDREW AND STEVEN.

Adam really, only went along cuz he’s actually been pinning on Andrew for a while now, but Andrew hasn’t really noticed because too busy with work duh.

So the three of them meet at the bar and Andrew is actually pretty interested at Steven, he thinks he’s cute, he’s funny, and he has that bubbly personality that draws Andrew in... Too bad he looks like he’s more attracted to Adam though.

Adam flirts a little with Steven and they get along swimmingly well and it only adds to Andrew’s sour mood because hey he’s supposed to be having a good time, but the only guy he’s interested in doesn’t seem to notice him that much

So, the night ends, Adam gets Steven’s number and Andrew is just pissed off

Days pass, Steven and Andrew meet by accident!

Well, not entirely, because Shane actually invited Steven over to his class because he wanted Steven to demonstrate the history of chemicals when it came to the revolution of man and who better to explain chemistry than a chemist himself!

So, Steven asks Andrew if he could help him find Shane because he got lost since the university is big and Andrew, seriously, Steven is cute and Andrew is a decent guy so he helps Steven out and they get to talking and one thing led to another, they’re getting coffee after work hours! Andrew is really not trying to get his hopes up, this is just a simple coffee, Steven just wants to take a break and all that.

So they get coffee, they talk alot, Steven is a big nerd with history as well and Andrew is all the more intrigued with him. Steven explains more the history of chemicals and such, and he’s so passionate and knowledgeable in his field that Andrew just can’t help but listen to him babble on and on about it.

Then, Steven stops, looks at Andrew shyly and says “Sorry, I sometimes get carried away, hope I’m not boring you.”

And Andrew’s all like shaking his head and saying “No, I love listening to you talk.” And Steven gets all blushy and happy and woah, Andrew loves seeing that.

By the end of their coffee “date”, Steven ends up inviting Andrew to a convention. And to both of their surprises, it’s a CAT CONVENTION THAT THEY BOTH PLANNED ON ATTENDING. They both end up showing pictures of their cats, Steven with Simba and Andrew with Riceball and Wellington.

So Andrew is just really charmed, he really likes Steven and he can’t wait for their next ehem, “date”. He’s so excited he tells his bestfriend Adam about it.

Adam, although he did like Steven, has been pinning for Andrew for a long time now. So on the day of the cat convention, both Steven and Andrew meet Adam there as a surprise, Adam ambushed them lmaooo

Adam makes up some bullshit excuse about coming here because he was in the neighborhood and he thought he’d drop by, Andrew is suspicious because why would Adam suddenly come here? What is his ulterior motive here?

So the three of them hang out and Steven is a bit flustered because he likes BOTH Andrew and Adam and this is a bit awkward and there’s some tension here and there so yeah

So the convention ends and they all bid their goodbye’s, and Steven is a tiny bit upset because he wanted to really hang out with Andrew but, he was feeling shy around Adam. Yet at the same time, Adam didn’t really even call him back after that night at the bar.

So lo and behold! Andrew suddenly texts Steven on his way home, he wanted to know if Steven wants to hang out again and this time, maybe just the two of them? Andrew isn’t going to drop the date word yet, he wants to say it face to face cuz he’s that type of guy and Steven happily agrees!

SOOOO THEY GO ON “DATES” , Andrew hasn’t really dropped the date word yet, but Steven is always taking him on so many different places and good restaurants to eat at and the more Andrew spends time with Steven, the more he actually think that he may be falling in love and fuckkkk

wait, I want this to end in Stadamdrew

So, let’s develop Steven and Adam’s relationship this time.

Steven gathers up his courage and contacts Adam, he was planning on just telling Adam that it was nice to see him again after the cat convention. Adam decides to entertain Steven for now and they talk through text and woah, they actually really have a lot in common as well!

Steven is into photography and good books, they also have the same music tastes so they exchange and give recommendations to each other a lot. Steven told Adam that it’s okay if they’re just friends and he just wanted to hang out with him. Adam sees that there’s nothing wrong with giving the guy a chance so they go on book “dates” together and go to music stores and laugh a lot and watch shitty movies together to make fun of and oh

oh no, Adam is actually genuinely starting to like Steven and fuck, this was not how he was intending for this to go but like, Steven is really great and he loves his smile, his laugh, and he is such a smart and talented person and fuckkk Adam got so whipped over Steven that he doesn’t even know why he didn’t bother to call Steven again after that night at the bar!

Meanwhile, Steven is having a crises! Oh no!

He likes both Adam and Andrew and they’re both bestfriends and fuckk!! Okay, he thinks that maybe they’re both just really nice and they aren’t really interested in him but, Steven really likes both of them and gosh, this is not how he wanted things to go down in his life right now

I’m thinking Andrew would make he first more here, like he would officially ask Steven out and Steven would be really ecstatic because like YES!! He does really like Andrew and gosh, he is so so happy to be dating him and they’re both having a great time together and Shane and Ryan keep teasing them and well...

Everything is great, but they both notice that Adam has become really distant and quiet recently. He’s been cancelling on hanging out and he doesn’t really talk to them that much anymore and Andrew is more concerned because Adam is best friend and he’s never seen Adam be like that, not since, he ehem got his heart broken so Andrew wants to make his friend happy again

Steven comes along to help out and they annoy Adam almost every day until Adam SNAPS and he gets pissed at both of them and then all confessions break out that Adam is actually really REALLY happy for them but at the same time he’s really not?! Because he likes both Andrew and Steven, and he’s really been pinning over Andrew for the longest time now and now that he’s seeing both Steven and Andrew together, two guys he really likes, he’s just really sad and jealous and he walks out and Andrew and Steven are stunned.

The boyfriends do a sleepover at Andrew’s place and they talk about it and Andrew realizes that oh fuck he really likes Adam as well and wow, Steven also really likes Adam and he was having a crisis before because he wanted to both date Andrew and Adam and damnnnn

So the ending is basically Steven and Andrew woo-ing Adam to become their boyfriend and it becomes a happy OT3 Stadamdrew ❤️ The End ❤️

jfc this got so long I am so sorry, I am supposed to be updating my fanfic but this happened lmaooooo hope u like it tho anon, this was a wild ride for me XD

#Anonymous #Anonnie #Standrew #holy fuck #this reply got so fucking long #i am so sorry #but u give me such good ideas anon lmao #this fucked me up #i got whippedlashed by this #maybe i should think about writing this one as well #lol #oh #almost forgot to tag this as #Stadamdrew #as well #❤️

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rosenfey · 4 years

Text

— THE UPSIDES OF 2019 ✨🎉🎇

It’s always the little things. I went a long way to learn to be content with being alive and even though most of it sucks ass and I have moments when I feel like quitting all, the tiny bits between that are good, are really good and worthy of staying alive to experience. I only hope there will be more of them, but for this year, it was mostly this:

I started being more social irl! Not gonna lie and you probs gonna be like “???? wtf Ambie thats a normal thing to do when you are a normal person” but JOKES ON YOU I am anything but normal - this year I: 1.) went to a social event all alone once 2.) went to a social event all alone where I didn’t know anybody and where people were talking to me. YEAH TALKING. TO ME. 3.) talked to strangers without problems 4.) went out with friends. yes this is an accomplishment, shut up

Probs meds working right but now it’s much much easier for me to turn from shy, aloof quiet creature to the funky little dumbass that will talk your ear off because she has no filter. Good for me. Next year will mean even more nonsense coming from my mouth without fear of being perceived as weird and having weird interests. Rip to people who encounter me, but I am different.

SUMMER! It’s the best time of the year and the only time where I feel truly, unconditionally happy to be alive. I love the sun (certified sun thot here, Solaire ask for my number). This time it was funny, because I had my wisdom tooth extracted in July and that was hell but ALSO I could stay at home and play DOS2 all over again (for the 5th / 6th or 10th time, I lost count). I was home alone for the bigger duration of the time and it felt so good to be playing undisturbed. Best times.

I also started going out more often, especially into the forest. I literally live beneath it, it takes me 5 mins to get there, yes I am blessed, yes you can come visit me, I will share the forest experience with you. There is this meadow that is my favourite place in the entire forest and I always went there during summer evenings - it was still warm of course (don’t even let me start on summer evenings, they ARE the most joyous thing in life ever and I will not change my mind) and I often laid down and basked in the sunlight. That’s how I would describe happiness - it was so quiet and tranquil and warm and utterly as if I was in a different world. There was this doe who frequented the meadow and she was never afraid of me, even started walking closer and closer towards me with time. We ate berries together and just chilled. A spiritual experience.

Speaking of spiritual experiences, I finally found something I could believe in. Not any of the religions, it’s coming from my own heart and soul and it feels so right. I don’t need other people to make sense out of it, because it makes sense to me and that’s all I need. I love the sun and owe her my life more times than I can count. My absolute fave place in the entire world is the castle ruin in my city. I cannot really describe how much I love it there, but I love being there a lot. [I took some photos here] I was really really down one time, crying because I didn’t want to go to uni anymore and was afraid I will be suicidal again and long story short I sat there near the river and watched the sunset until it was pitch dark and people started going home and I just sat there and watched and cried and... I understood. It didn’t make the pain hurt less but somehow, I felt that letting all the emotions out that way helped.

I was more active with my photography! It felt so amazing to be able to go out into the nature and appreciate it by taking photos, trying to “freeze” the memory somehow. I love photography so much, it’s one of my most passionate hobbies.

Learned to love myself even more. Came a long way this year, even started to see myself as beautiful (! my biggest accomplishment probably because it took me my entire teenage years after being bullied at high school and then SOME to realise that) and started to EAT NORMALLY god yes. I still beat myself over that sometimes but I DO EAT quite healthily and my weight is not super alarmingly lower than what it should be. Still gotta go and stop blaming myself for having some extra treats but its GOOD so far!

Learned to let go. All three of my irl best friends left me this year and honestly, I didn’t think I would survive it. But I did. And I met a few nice people here too. I don’t believe that I am truly alone and I know that I will meet the right people who will appreciate me. Being single for 3+ years is very hard and I do cry a lot but... I know that I will not stay alone forever. And what is more important, I finally believe that I DO DESERVE to be loved right. Before, I thought all the people I had crushes on were way out of my league, but tbh? Maybe I was out of theirs.

CREATIVITY? IN THIS BODY? ITS MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK! Gosh I made so many beautiful edits this year, I am so proud! Especially of the World Building June event I was able to do and didn’t miss a single day! Creating something every day for 30 days is quite and accomplishment and I’m proud of myself. It feels awesome to be able to talk about my characters and even though I mostly feel ignored here it feels so amazing in the times when I am not.

WRITING! The thing I am the most proud of! I learned to be more open with my writing, publishing it online more often than years before and I am so happy that I came up with Dead Man’s Wish. I wasn’t this excited for a writing project in years. The support my friends put into my work is beyond amazing and I love you so much.

Meeting @fantasmagoriam irl for the first time was one of my fave things this year. I am so happy to call you my friend and it feels amazing to be truly myself with someone irl, talking about ocs and goofing around! Our talks enlighten my days in the best way and I love you so much.

Getting to know @blueraptorsmain was such a blessing! You are such a sweet and kind and talented person, I am so happy to have met you!

BIG shout out to @jennystahl who is such a delightful person and one of my biggest writing supporters. Thank you so much for having patience with me.

And a lot of others who made my experience here great! @ciriofcintras, @friendowldesign, @toreadours, @lavellane, @cryptcombat, @callmeredhood, @zephyrcrowthorne, @fillianore and all my treasured mutuals I love so much (you know who you are! ♥)

In the next year I wanna:

Get my first tattoo. And don’t faint or die from the pain which is very likely but rip to me I really want that tattoo.

LEARN FRENCH

Finally visit Provence and have a great time. Still in the middle of planning the trip and figuring out organization details but I got green lights and we are GOING. Don’t ever expect me to come back because once I am laying bare chested amidst a lavender field sipping rosé wine and eating grapes it’s over for y’all.

SURVIVE uni. Lol ok not gonna be grim but there is nothing in life I hate more than uni. Peace out. Disgusting, makes me wanna puke. Not cool. I wanna get that degree tho.

Learn to love myself even more. It’s what we all should aspire to, imho. And there is always ways to go.

WRITE. duh. *looks at camera like she’s on the office* Because my ideas are amazing and the world deserves to read about them.

Next year I wanna be more open with posting my stuff here - screaming into the void about my ocs, making edits, posting writing... I wanna be absolutely okay with it all and not feel the fear of being perceived as annoying or that people will not care. They might not care but that is not my problem. Next year is no filter only, baby!

Happy New Year to everybody and hope 2020 will be kind to us. I really hope it will because I want it to be a year when I finally spread my wings and flourish. It’s what we all deserve.

#ambie.txt #if anyone is gonna read this... you have my admiration its so LONG OMG #i didnt want to tag all my mutuals because i dont wanna be annoying gghgnh #but i really love you! i do

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