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explorevenus · 1 month

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baby steps ♡ yandere!leon kennedy x reader

nsfw (18+) - minors dni or i will call ur mom. and also the cops

word count: 5k

description: moving to raccoon city with leon, your long-term boyfriend and childhood sweetheart, doesn't go as planned. while you consider moving back home to lick your wounds, leon conspires to keep you right by his side, where you were always meant to be.

tags/warnings: yandere!leon kennedy, specifically rookie cop leon, squishy soft dom leon, manipulation and generally toxic behavior, baby trapping (via tampering w condoms), daddy kink, praise kink, pet names, no use of y/n, fingering, p in v, creampie, cockwarming, mention of vomiting

a/n: this piece was commissioned by #1 Soft Dom Rookie Leon Truther and My Feral Puppy Wife @nexysworld ,, pls pls check out her work, she's so very talented and sweet and i am lucky to call her a friend ;w; <33

hopefully if u made it this far u read the tags and know what ur in for, but out of an abundance of caution i would like to reiterate that this is a yandere!leon fic and therefore contains dark themes a la dubious/uninformed consent and unhealthy relationship dynamics. if that's a no-no for u, pls kindly move on and take care of urself !!

my masterlist ♡

my ao3 ♡

fic under the cut, thanks so much for reading and i hope u enjoy ;w;

-venus ♡

Leon had it all figured out from the day he met you, the first day of kindergarten. The two of you were going to be just like the movies, just like the storybooks– you would grow up as friends, blossom into lovers, marry young and start a family, and everything would be exactly as it should be. He would have fulfilled his purpose, and you would have fulfilled yours. All would be right in the universe.

And he wasn’t exactly far off, for a long time. You were attached at the hip through elementary school, somehow managed to stay friends through middle school and after an awkward, smitten kiss shared in the empty auditorium, you began dating in high school. It was perfect, he thought. He didn’t even have to pull that many strings.

You went to prom, got drunk for the first time, learned to drive, all in each other’s company. You had each other’s virginity. You’d seen, touched and savored every inch of each other. There was almost nothing you didn’t share.

It wasn’t too long after graduation that Leon applied to begin training at the police academy, just like he’d always dreamed of. It was a solid profession with plenty of benefits for both of you and it would give him the opportunity to help people, ticking off all the boxes of what he wanted for himself. It was perfect, it was safe.

No one was surprised when he soared through the police academy with impeccable marks. You were such a little angel when he graduated, showering him with kisses and sweets and letting him pound you into the mattress for a whole weekend to celebrate. And when his application in Raccoon City was accepted, you did exactly as he hoped you would and you followed right along with him.

Of course you would follow right along. You didn’t know what life without Leon meant. You couldn’t even conceptualize what that would feel like and you had no intention of finding out, but that was fine by him. He was happy to be your rock, your guidance, your big, strong boyfriend who would hold your hand and follow you through everything.

With Leon, you would never be alone. You would never be far from home. After all this time, he was your home, exactly as your lives were designed.

For the first few months of living in Raccoon City, the two of you shared a cozy apartment. It was a little worse for wear, but it was cute, and it was a fun way to start your adventure into young adulthood together. He was happy to handle all of the spiders and quadruple check the locks every night if it made you feel safer, if it gave you an excuse to come crying to him like a beautiful angel whenever you were frightened.

Bumps in the night, creaks of the pipes, the skittering of the upstairs neighbor’s little dog, they all sent you folding into his arms, shaking like a leaf, crying for him to protect you. He was your knight, and God were you his perfect little princess. The apple of his eye, the one and only object of his affection. No, not his affection, his obsession.

You were all he thought about, day and night, for more than half of his 21 years of living. Everything he did, every breath he took was with you in mind. You were the only living manifestation of complete and total perfection, every inch of you crafted with care and divinity. Your lives fit together like puzzle pieces– hell, your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. You were meant for each other.

It wasn’t long after you moved that the job you had lined up fell through, and you were left reeling. Moving away from home just to fall flat on your face was a massive blow to your self esteem, especially considering your parents practically screamed a hole through the phone at you about it. The next few days were spent sulking around the apartment, trying to pick up the pieces and choose a completely different path for yourself.

And there was Leon to hold you while you cried. To make dinner every night and dote on you endlessly, to pamper you with gifts and to insist over and over that he could make rent on his own, that he didn’t mind if you needed a little more time to wallow before finding a job… and to console you when your search for employment would prove fruitless once again.

He was there to tell you it wasn’t your fault, that the job market was just rough right now and that no matter what, he would be there to take care of you.

Weeks stretched into months and you still felt like you were spinning out, even with Leon by your side. Every single day was beginning to feel the same and you didn’t know what to do, all you knew was that you couldn’t imagine living the rest of your life like this. Something had to give and Raccoon City clearly wasn’t it.

Leon came home with a big smile on his face, just like any other day, but today was extra special. He’d finally had his one year review at the police station, and he was getting a sizable raise. He couldn’t wait to tell you he was gonna get you out of this shitty apartment and into somewhere nicer. He couldn’t wait to sneak his way down to the jeweler in search of a ring. The storybook life he had laid out for you was coming to fruition right before his eyes.

But you were quiet over dinner, and you looked exhausted. You wouldn’t even meet his eyes as you picked at your plate.

He was just about to ask you what was wrong when you finally spoke up, “I-I think I need to move back home with my parents.”

Silence. He felt like he had been shot.

“It’s just that… I know you said you’re happy to take care of bills and everything, but I just feel terrible every day being a burden and I think I need a chance to figure things out and get back up on my feet. I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life anymore.”

His expression fell and his heart ached, any and all excitement he had about his situation now gone in an instant. All the money in the world meant nothing to him if he couldn’t share it with you, and to see you so lost and scared made him feel like he fucking failed you, his poor, sweet princess who looked to him for purpose and protection and partnership.

Leon wasn’t stupid. He knew that allowing you to move back in with your parents could potentially be a death sentence to your relationship. When people aren’t around each other anymore, it’s only natural that they drift apart, and Leon could not let that happen. It wasn’t even an option in his brain. Something had to be done and something had to be done now, before your lease was up in a few months, before push came to shove and you would finally have to make your choice.

He wasn’t even really sure where he got the idea. It wasn’t something he’d ever considered before, mostly because he didn’t think he’d ever be put in this position.

A few nights after that conversation, Leon couldn’t sleep. It was well past two in the morning and you were peacefully asleep beside him while he stared at the ceiling, entirely lost in thought. He witnessed the worst and darkest of humanity at work every single day, but nothing scared him as deeply as the idea of losing you.

Eventually he got out of bed as carefully as he could manage, not wanting to wake you with his troubles. He only planned to get some water and maybe a minute or two of fresh air to clear his mind, but what he didn’t plan to get was some inspiration.

You had asked him to stop at the store on his way home from work to pick up a few things you needed, and the bag was still sitting on the counter. He took it upon himself to grab a few things he needed, too, and among the items left in the bag was an unopened box of condoms. At first his eyes skimmed over it without much interest, but it wasn’t long before he froze where he stood and turned to look at the bag again.

Leon wasn’t sure what came over him. He didn’t really feel like himself, it was like he was watching his next moves from a third person perspective, hovering above, detached. For a moment he even wondered if he was sleepwalking, or if this was a dream. He stared down at the box in his hand, carefully opened it, and pierced a hole in the center of each and every one. He tucked the packets back into the box and brought it with him on his way back to the bedroom, stashing it in the usual spot in the bedside table.

On his side, of course.

He tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t help but just watch you. You were so pretty, so peaceful when you were dreaming, such a nice contrast to the stress and insecurity over finding your life’s purpose that plagued you in your waking hours.

But Leon already knew your life’s purpose. He reached out, gently brushing your messy hair away from your sleepy face so he could admire you more fully, and all he could think about was how much happier you’d look with a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly. Maybe an unexpected nudge in the right direction would set you back on the correct path and make you come to your senses about moving back in with your parents.

You huffed out a sleepy little breath from between your plush lips, stirring in the bed and peeking open your eyes to look at him. It was clear you weren’t fully conscious yet, but you were trying, squirming closer to him to tuck yourself into his chest.

“W’time is it?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes.

He smiled fondly, petting your hair and pressing a kiss to the crown of your head as you cuddled up to him like a sweet little baby bear, and he tried to pretend he hadn’t accidentally made himself hard as fuck thinking about knocking you up just to get you to stay with him. Somewhere deep down, he knew it was gross, he knew it was wrong, he knew it could violate your trust in so many ways.

But Leon was nothing if not a yearner, a hopeless romantic who couldn’t bear the thought of life without you by his side. He’d done everything right by you and you were still straying away from him, and that just wouldn’t do. It’s an act of desperation, he thought to himself, justifying his actions into the ground, I just want her so badly I’m not thinking straight, all pleas for forgiveness he would store for later use.

“It’s late, baby,” He mumbled into your hair, breathing in the scent of your shampoo. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

You just shook your head and tightened your arms around him, clearly on the verge of dozing off again. Perhaps if the circumstances were different, he would have just let you, but he wouldn’t be awake in the first place if it weren’t for the extreme sense of urgency he felt.

His broad, warm hands engulfed you, one cradling the back of your head while the other rubbed your lower back, tapering off to paw at your hip. Your shirt– well, his shirt– had ridden up nearly to your waist, baring your cute panties, your soft belly and your plush thighs to his gaze. He swiped the pad of his thumb along your hip, imagining your bone structure spreading open to make room for his growing baby.

Leon didn’t take the time to talk himself out of it before his fingertips were sneaking down between your legs, slipping beneath your panties and finding your clit with practiced ease. The sensation was enough to jerk you awake again, a quiet mewl tumbling from your lips as you rocked into his hand, so sleepy and out of it and just so very cute.

“Leon?” Your voice was thick with sleep, but airy and light with sudden onset desire. That was all he needed to know he had you right where he wanted you.

“Shh, shh, you’re alright,” He cooed softly, following up the soothing whispers with a few gentle nibbles and bites to the shell of your ear, knowing that such attention always melted you into a puddle. “You’re alright, pretty baby, I just wanna play with you. Can daddy play with his sweet angel?”

You squirmed in his hold for a second, pondering his proposition while barely awake, but it wasn’t long before you were nodding into his shoulder and peppering his collarbone with wet kisses in return. It never took much to convince you when he spoke to you like that, so adoring and saccharine.

“That’s my good girl,” He mused, invigorated by your consent. Almost instantaneously he became more heavy-handed with his touches, fingertips massaging firm, purposeful circles around your clit, occasionally dipping down to collect your growing arousal and bring it back with him. “You’re all mine, you know that? Never gonna let anyone else have my baby.”

Poor you. Clueless of his intentions, you interpreted that sentence in a much different way than he really meant it. But, ignorance is bliss, and what you felt right now was nothing short of blissful.

You poked your head up just to catch his lips with your own in a wanton grasp for more intimacy, a signal of your agreement, like you were giving yourself to him. He knew it was wrong that you didn’t fully realize what you were agreeing to, but again, he compartmentalized that, deciding that was a problem for his future self. What mattered right now was securing your place at his side for the rest of your lives.

He could feel the way your hips were stuttering, he could feel how short your breaths were becoming against his lips, and he knew you were getting close. Grunting into your mouth, he forced his hand further down your panties and sank two thick fingers into your hole, stretching you open for him. The intrusion was quite a bit less gentle than you were used to from him, drawing a shocked whimper from you, but you soon began to relax once more when he curled up into your sweet spot, sending you boneless.

“D-Daddy,” You whined, nails biting into his shoulders. “Hurts… Slow, slower…”

A shiver rolled over his body, that of immediate guilt. He knew he was being a little rough with you, and he certainly didn’t want to hurt you, but…

“Fuck, I can’t help it,” He groaned, “Been thinking about this pussy all night, princess, I need you like air…”

You could hear the desperation in his tone, and even more you could feel it in the way he touched you like he was starving, like he was stranded in the desert and you were an oasis. Softened by this– and entirely hypnotized by his praise– you resigned to the feeling, allowing him to play with your body as he pleased. He was rutting into nothing without even thinking about it, his cock woefully hard and straining against the front of his grey sweatpants.

He wanted to prepare you properly, he really did, but he was so revved up and needy, he didn’t want to risk blowing his load anywhere but inside you. That wasn’t an option. Hands shaking, he pulled away from you just long enough to kick his sweatpants off and reach for one of those condoms, silently resenting the fact that he had to wear one at all, but he had an appearance to keep up.

He tore the package open haphazardly with his teeth and rolled the condom on, shuddering deeply. His grasp was tight on your thigh as he pulled it up and over his hip, his other hand pushing your dainty purple panties aside to guide his cock into the heavenly, pillowy walls of your ethereal cunt.

Fuck, you were so fucking tight, clenching around him, whimpering and whining and writhing like a perfect little puppy in heat. Leon’s teeth sank into your shoulder as he bottomed out in you, and he almost could have sworn he felt the tip of the condom rip open even wider. The image alone had him moaning like an animal, pinning your quivering body to his own while he rolled his hips, fucking you deep and hard and slow, savoring every single stroke of your slippery walls around his aching cock. Every meeting of your hips was joined by obscene squelching with the way you were practically sucking him in.

“G-God, fuck,” Leon growled, his face contorted with pleasure. You and Leon had always had what you considered to be an active and healthy sex life, but you’d never seen him quite so beside himself with raw lust. Whatever drove him in that moment was primal, and you could feel it in his every movement, his every breath, see it in the wild look in his eyes.

His pupils were like dinner plates as he gazed down at you, stamping your forehead with kisses and feeling over every inch of your body. “Look at you, just look at you… Such a perfect little dolly for daddy to love on forever and ever, huh? Oh, my princess…”

You were lightheaded with arousal, every nerve ending in your body lighting up with white hot pleasure. You could barely even form a sentence, just nodding along as he moaned out his praise and letting him manhandle you like a ragdoll. Perhaps his words had more than a modicum of truth to them.

“F-Feels so… so… fuck, daddy, feels so good,” You babbled mindlessly, head falling back to the pillows beneath you. He was overwhelming your senses, taking over every corner of your mushy brain. The room was dark and you were still a bit delirious with sleep and to that effect, nothing existed in your world right now but daddy, daddy, daddy…

He laughed softly, pressing a kiss to the spot on your shoulder he’d so harshly bitten earlier, the pace of his thrusts not faltering for a second. “Yeah? I’ll bet it does, judging by the look on you,” He teased, nipping at your throat. “So pretty when you’re all fucked out.”

Your back was arching up off the bed, your eyes rolling back and your walls pulsing around him. Addicted to eliciting pleasured reactions from you, Leon wedged one hand between your two bodies, flattening his palm on your lower belly before pressing down.

Stars. You saw stars. A broken, high-pitched cry ripped from your throat, and you didn’t even have the capacity to hope the neighbors didn’t think you were being murdered, because you didn’t care. You could feel every rigid inch of him inside you, dragging over every nerve, his cock stuffed so deep that you swore you could feel him in your throat. Toes curling and your nails raking down his naked back, tears were beginning to prick at your eyes– you were close.

That was a good thing, though, considering he was too, and he could only hope the wet heat of your release would mask the feeling of his own. Leon sealed his lips over your own once more, swallowing your broken, needy cries as he fucked you to completion, letting his hand fall a little bit lower until his fingertips were on your clit again.

Your body twitched at the stimulation, thighs clamping down tight around his hips as you sobbed into his mouth and soaked his cock with your gushing sex. “Daddy,” You wept, clinging to him for dear life as he fucked you through your high, his own spilling out in sync. “Daddy, daddy, daddy…”

“Shh, I’ve got you, baby, I’m right here,” He cooed, taking your bottom lip playfully between his teeth before pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. “Just stay put, you’re doing so good for me, angel…”

His hips continued to piston forward as he hoped to force as much of his cum into you as he could manage, while still maintaining the believable illusion of protection. He intended to put every last one of those tampered-with condoms to use, though he wondered silently to himself if you might give up and just let him take you raw once you were to inevitably find out you’re pregnant.

You were a weeping, shivering mess in his arms, thighs clenching and twitching around him as he shushed you and babied you, petting your hair away from your tear-stained face and stamping you with delicate kisses, still stuffing his cum into you with shallow thrusts. He couldn’t wait to see you blossom right before his eyes. He couldn’t wait for you to realize your purpose was right here with him. He couldn’t wait to have you to himself for the rest of your days, his princess.

Leon remained sheathed deep within you, even as he softened, wanting to make sure you stayed plugged up well. But, he also couldn’t resist the warmth and wetness of you, how comforting it felt to be enveloped by you.

“You just stay put right there, okay, princess?” He reiterated quietly, lips brushing over your brow in a loving kiss. “Want you to keep daddy warm for the rest of the night. Can you do that for me?”

As if he even had to ask. You would have done practically anything for him when reduced to such a bleary, agreeable state of mind. He knew you all too well.

You just nodded like a bobblehead, dreamy, doe eyes staring up at him through teary lashes, hanging off his every word like gospel. He tucked you in even closer to his chest, cradling you with such adoration, his hips rocking forward every now and then just to get a reaction out of you, and to remind himself this was real.

He wasn’t at all surprised that you were able to fall asleep like that, stuffed full of cum and sated like a good little princess deserved to be. In a perfect world, you would never have to move again, just stay there in his lap forever and soak up every drop of him you could take.

In the coming weeks, that box of condoms wouldn’t last long. The only thought on his mind day in and day out was bending you over every surface in the apartment, and you thought nothing of it. Of course you noticed his sudden, insatiable lust for you, but you assumed it was a symptom of knowing his beloved girlfriend was just a few short months away from potentially leaving. He was only grasping at every inch of you he could commit to memory, right?

In all fairness to you, you weren’t exactly that far off.

Your tired eyes pried open at the familiar feeling of Leon rutting up against you, gripping at your hips like you would disappear if he didn’t. The morning sun was just barely beginning to peek through the windows and the bed was warm, it was a lovely way to wake up, one you would never get tired of.

Or at least you never thought you would. You loved Leon— and his sexual prowess— very dearly, but you also loved being able to sleep through an entire night without interruption, and you hadn’t been getting much of that over the past several weeks.

“Mnh… Leon, babe,” You grumbled, burying your face back into your pillow. “Not today. I’m exhausted.”

He was taken aback by this at first, and then his expression fell with disappointment. Leon had gotten so used to breeding you dumb every morning before work that he wasn’t confident he could go back to functioning without it. Regardless, Leon knew that continuing his attempt to seduce you while you were this grouchy would be a death sentence, so he opted to take the path of least resistance.

After the moment or two it took for him to process that decision, Leon’s touches quickly shifted from provocative to soothing– he was no longer grasping at your hips but wrapping you up in his arms, pressing gentle kisses to your temple and cheekbone as if to regain your good favor.

You hummed contentedly, relaxing back into his embrace. Leon always warmed up like a heater in the night, and you were more than happy to bask in it. His muscular frame was like a weighted blanket and his presence alone was usually enough to knock you out like a light, but for some reason, you were struggling to fall back asleep. Every second felt like five minutes and despite your best efforts– and your complete and utter exhaustion– sleep refused to reclaim you.

Biting back the urge to blame Leon for waking you up in the first place, you huffed out a breath and rolled over in his arms, hoping the change in position might be just what you needed.

Wrong. Very, very wrong. Something about the movement made you dizzy, nauseous, your stomach twisting into knots. You wanted to say something, but you weren’t even sure what to say. It came on so suddenly that it caught you off guard and you weren’t even fully confident you would be able to get up at first.

You whined his name quietly, nuzzling into his chest and wrenching your eyes shut in an attempt to reorient yourself, your arms closing around your middle instinctively.

“You alright? What’s the matter?” Your sweet boyfriend asked quietly, brows furrowing with concern. He could feel your body trembling against his own, your back rising and falling with short, shallow breaths.

Now it was your throat tightening, too, and the second your mouth started to flood with saliva, you knew what was about to happen. Leon didn’t stop you when you writhed out of his embrace and stumbled out of bed, depending on muscle memory alone to get yourself to the bathroom with how woozy and ill you felt.

You just barely made it to the toilet in time to vomit. The cold tile felt nice on your knees, but the impact, not as much. It wasn’t long before Leon materialized at your side with a glass of water and a cold washcloth to hold over your forehead, rubbing your back and already silently conspiring to call out of work and give his poor, sick angel the princess treatment all day.

You collapsed back into his chest with a deep shudder, reaching for the water in a desperate attempt to wash the taste of bile from your mouth. He ended up grabbing it for you, raising it to your cracked lips and helping you take slow, measured drinks.

“There you go, pup,” He hummed, rocking you gently in his lap, his poor little darling princess. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”

Your eyes fluttered closed, a sense of relief washing over you at last. Maybe you just caught a bug, or ate something your body didn’t agree with, or your stress and exhaustion were finally catching up to you. Surely you would feel better within a few days.

“I’m okay,” You whispered, reaching for his hand and squeezing it affectionately. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

Leon smiled, a burst of warmth spreading through his chest. You couldn’t possibly imagine what that meant to him, considering he chose to interpret it in whatever way felt most validating. After all, no one could take care of you like Leon could, and they wouldn’t have the chance to try, anyway. Not over his dead body.

Stooping down to kiss the crown of your head, Leon’s every word was thick with syrupy sweetness, “My baby, I would be so lost if I didn’t. Taking care of you is like breathing to me.”

And he meant every part of it. He didn’t just mean it, he showed it. He showed it when he held your hair back, and he showed it when you realized you couldn’t even remember when you’d had your last period. He showed it when you sent him to the drugstore in the middle of the night for pregnancy tests, and he showed it when you broke down crying at the results, wondering how this could have happened.

His favorite part was showing it when you tearfully called your parents and told them you were staying in Raccoon City, not because you had found a job, but because you were pregnant.

“I can’t believe they’re choosing to react like this, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. They should be happy for you, and it’s awful that they’re anything but happy for you,” He said, voice low and soothing, tone purposeful. “I’ve got you, princess. I’ve got you. I’m gonna take good care of you and this baby, and we’re gonna be happy. Alright?”

Leon tipped your chin up with his knuckle, making you look at him. Your cheeks were red and your eyes were puffy with tears, droplets still clinging to your little dolly eyelashes.

It was hard not to believe him when he spoke with such conviction, when he looked at you with those rich blue eyes that bled from an endless well of love. The pad of his thumb skimmed over your pouty bottom lip as you unknowingly submitted to his grand design.

#venustext #sintext #resident evil #leon kennedy #yandere!leon kennedy #dark!leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #yandere!leon kennedy x reader #dark!leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x you

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boywithpinkcarnation · 6 months

Note

tbh kinda wanting some jealous!jb like if someone is filtering w her gf OR ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A ANOTHER GIRL AHH THE DRAMA 🕳️🕳️

alrighty... i am in no way a writer, so this is. going to be bullet point, blurb, word vomit, unedited chaos. additionally, this is gonna be so incredibly self indulgent and catered to me so i hope it suffices for u bug 💝

frankly posting this is very scary for a little tumblr baby like myself, but i feel a need to serve my community 🫡

they style of writing and tbh most headcannons/lore is coming straight from @gingerjolover their blog is lowkey bible and they are the sweetest pookie pie ever. luv u g fr <3 like seriously i recommend you go just read through their masterlist bc this will not compare (not trying to fish here, just being very real as someone who is a like fein for fics as a source of comfort, i fear this will not fully suffice)

rpf content under the cut (no hate if that's not ur jam, just ignore me!), minors dni!!!

refering to jb's parter in this as "gf" and sense i am a selfish selfish girl in this scenerio she is roughly jb's height/a little shorter bc i am and theres no shorter than julien rep ANYWHERE

personally, i see julien as lowkey so possessive in a cutie non toxic way... and sometimes that manifests in some cutie jeleousy that gf can not get enough of. i think it obviously would come out in like flirty enviornments like bars and parties where people are loosey goosey... but sometimes it's just like and about on a normal date. here's a little thought i cooked up for like a more domestic environment jealousy:

aquairum date

the date starts out very normal, classic boyfriend!julien activities are happening

she's making sure y'all are touching at all times. like she'll die if you guys are not physically connected

i'm talking arm around your shoulder, iron grip within intertwined hands, hand in ur jean pocket 16 candles style, hand on the small of your back,,,, but i think eventually (and her favorite, albeit a little awkward) she's hugging you from behind as you walk, almost hanging on you, head perfectly slotted on your shoulder kissing your head and neck at every stop to look at the pretty fish

"jay! look at this one" "real pretty princess" *kisses your head* (its over i can'tttt)

then maybe she leaves you to go get you like a bottle of water or a jacket from the car (idk something to make you more comfortable, very "can't have my baby thirsty/cold" vibes)

then of course, you are looking so cute and so gay, a girl approaches you

you are very focused on the fish bc they are truly just so pretty (can you tell i love fish?) and only look up when mystery girl nudges you

"omg i'm so sorry" "oh uh, you're good" "sorry, i have a bit of a habit for running into pretty girls"

and your're kinda caught off guard bc like... this is an aquarium??

"haha um thank you" "so what are you doing here all alone"

mystery girl is sooo fuck boy coded just go with it

"well um my girlfr-"

julien is back behind you, re koala latching twisting open the water bottle for you and handing it to you, GLARING at this girl

"sorry it took me a second princess, who's this?"

then her grip tightens pulling you even closer to her chest

mystery girl, bless her heart, replies "we just bumped into each other. i was just letting her know how beautiful she was"

oh jb did not like that

she reaches over grabs your jaw tilting your head to the side and back to look at her

"she is beautiful. my sweet girl" and kisses you DEEPLY

and ur blushing because you know jealous/protective/possesive!julien is in the room with us now and kind of giggle out of the kiss

"well then... i should be going, sorry again for running into you"

instead of letting you respond or responding herself jb keeps your face turned and starts kissing all over ur face as you giggle letting mystery girl to just shuffle away.

for the rest of the date she is SO overly affectionate

squeezing ur hips

keeping you so close

kissing your cheek and neck as you tell her about all the fish and animals

"really baby? that's so cool" "my little biologist" "ooo princess what about these?"

it's times like these julien wishes she wore lipstick to leave a mark on your face so everyone knows

she's probably taking you to the gift shop and buying you some random thing for fun because when she's jealous she doesn't take it out on you, she's secure with you and knows you aren't doing anything but being your pretty self

in fact it just makes her softer and more affectionate

when you finally let her drag you out she had you against the car kissing you lovingly and deeply and sets her forehead against yours

"i just love you so much. my sweet girl. my priincess"

"all yours j."

note from c: i hope this is at least semi ok? literally no editing or even proof reading, just love sick delusion.

#i am so in love with her #julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker x fem!reader #boygenius fanfic #boy with the pink carnation writes!

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minustwofingers · 1 year

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exoplanet part 5

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

masterlist! read all the other parts here!

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: violence, Angst with a capital A, ellie being an asshole, nsfw content (minors dni), mentions of vomiting, language, that’s all i can think of now

a/n: ...hey...how yall doing...sorry for edging u all nonstop. that was kind of silly of me. in my defense a) this was a super tough chapter for me to write bc i am very concerned abt how this is going to come off after the lead up and b) i kind of forgot i was a person for the past month bc ive been legit just studying every waking minute and doing nothing else. but anyway here it is! i am so so thankful for everyone’s patience and i’m sorry it took me so long to get this out!

word count: 11k

tags~ @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @parkersmyth @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl

exoplanet inspired playlist!

note - this chapter is not very heavily edited despite (and perhaps because of) its size. i am so sorry if there are really obvious and lazy errors—i will come back and do an overall edit once the series is completed!

enjoy <3

When you were 16, you had your first taste of infinity, wrapped up in the elegant bow of calculus.

You see, all calculus is is the study of change. That’s what your professors drilled into you over and over again. All these fancy symbols and derivatives and integrals—they meant something. All these strange curly brackets and greek letters had a home in tangible reality.

Everything except for the infinity symbol.

You struggled for months on the concepts of limits, on the idea of harnessing infinity. If something was truly infinite, how could you possibly decide where it would end up? How did anyone perform any calculations with the overhanging threat of “goes on forever”?

Everything that has ever existed is finite. It always has been finite, always will be. Even the Sun that warms your skin and grows your crops will eventually explode. Even energy, with its nifty rule of conservation, will stand no chance against a black hole.

There are no natural instances of infinity.

So why were you—of all people—the one who turned your nose up at the consideration that so much of mathematics was based off this shoddy theory of the never-ending—so fucking stupid as to believe that what you had going on wasn’t bound to the same laws of nature?

“Shit,” you said, staring down at the paper. “Shit. Oh my god.”

When you finally tore your eyes from the paper and looked back up at her, she wouldn’t look back.

“It had to be someday now, right? They weren’t going to just leave you out here.”

You swallowed. It did nothing for the gargantuan sized lump in your throat that was currently threatening to escape as a sob. “I—I didn’t think I—”

“No use dwelling on it, huh?” She finally met your eyes, sending you a tight smile. “I assumed it’d be any day now.”

Something twisted inside of you. “What? You were expecting this?”

She shrugged, then reached out to nudge your shoulder. “Come back to bed?”

“I—” The lump that was in your throat rolled higher to the point where it was beginning to choke you out. “Why—”

Ellie paused, lingering by the door and saying nothing.

“You’re coming with me,” you announced once you’d gathered your words. “I’m not going to take no for an answer.”

“Let’s not do this out here,” Ellie said. She appeared so passive and undisturbed that it made you want to scream. “It’s so early. We’ll talk about it when we’ve slept more, okay?”

You stood, your feet glued to the rickety floorboards of Joel’s porch as you calculated. As if you could just go to sleep after all of this.

“You can just stand out here too if you’d like,” Ellie finally said. “But I’d like to take advantage of what time we have left. Is that okay?”

What time we have left. Like a future where she was still in your life was such high fantasy that she wouldn’t even entertain it.

“Right,” you said. Your voice nearly broke. “Let’s—let’s do that.”

You did not sleep. Instead, you watched the sunlight slowly fill the room, catching on the objects and trinkets that littered her desk and walls that you’d never gotten to see outside of the dark of the night. Instead, you thought about how jealous you were of the posters on her walls and the figurines on her dresser, granted the blessing of actual permanence in Ellie’s world—a gift that had always been denied to you.

You harbored a suspicion that Ellie was also awake. You could feel her blink against your neck.

The day began with the subtlety of an anvil falling from the sky. The moment the clock struck 8, there was yelling and audible bustling in the streets as Jackson discovered the notices that had been dropped from the sky hours before.

There was a soft knock at the door.

“Ellie? You up?”

She sat up, sending you an apologetic look as she ran a hand through her hair to smooth it. “Yeah.”

Before you could process what was happening, the door creaked open to reveal a fully dressed Joel, holding one of the envelopes in his hand.

Upon seeing you in her bed, he blinked once, hard. A shock of fear ran through you before you remembered you weren’t at home.

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step back. “I didn’t realize you were in here, Y/N. I would’ve come back later.”

“It’s fine, Joel,” said Ellie, her face a crimson red.

He coughed awkwardly. “Well, anyway. Y/N, I’ve got some good news for you. Looks like they’ve located you.”

“I, uh, heard,” you said. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“I’ve been looking over the coordinates,” he said, holding up the paper and squinting in the morning light. “It looks like this just a week or so up north. Short jaunt. Not too dangerous, from what Tommy says. One of us can take ya. We’ve got plenty of time from now until the pickup date to prepare.”

“Thank you.” Your voice wavered, and your eyes searched for Ellie’s. She was staring down at her sheets.

Joel bid his goodbyes and told Ellie he’d need her in the afternoon, then shut the door softly behind him.

You turned to her. “Can we talk about—”

“No.”

“Please.” Your fingers curled around her wrist as you angled your face into her line of sight. “Can we at least talk about it?”

Her teeth pulled at her bottom lip. “Talk about what? I have a home here, Y/N. I can’t leave. I have Joel, and Dina, and Tommy, and…” She swallowed, pulling away from your grip. “I’m not like you. I can’t live in a place like Terranova. I wouldn’t fit in.”

“I’ll take anyone you want with us,” you promised her, moving to cup her face in your hands. Her eyes were resigned as they met yours. “And you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be. I’ll do all the talking.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Trying this hard,” Ellie elaborated. “You’ve only known me for—what—3 months? And you’re going about this like it’s normal to expect me to uproot myself from where I live? This may just be an inconsequential random snippet of your life to you, but Jackson is my home. Leaving it isn’t so easy for me.”

“I never said leaving is easy.” You were dangerously close to breaking down. “I don’t want to leave you. Don’t you understand?”

“You’re going to be fine without me.” Ellie’s voice was sour.

“But the thing is that I won’t be,” you retorted, ignoring how your voice cracked. “You asked me last night how long it would take me to forget you. The answer is that I won’t. I’m never going to forget you, and I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel quite like you do. Maybe you don’t feel the same way. That’s fine. But can you fault me for at least trying to save the one thing in my life that I want? The one thing in my life I chose for myself?”

When she didn’t respond, you continued.

“I am so, so tired of letting life happen to me,” you said, your throat dry. “I have lived 20 years of my life making myself convenient. I did everything right. I went to the right schools. I got the right grades. I hung out with the right people. But nothing has ever made me feel more alive than you. So I would like to at least attempt to keep you.”

There. You’d said it. Out of anything else to say, you slowly retracted your hands, letting your fingers slip through that fabric of her shirt that you’d been gripping.

“I am not a thing.” The words fell heavily out of her mouth. She wouldn’t look at you. “Don’t you see how selfish you’re being? This is where I belong. You can’t just expect people to follow you around because you want them to.”

“That’s not—” Your voice broke. The hurt in your chest was so acute that you’d take being shot with an arrow over it any day. You sucked in another breath and tried again.”That’s—not what I want you to do. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you saw me that way.”

You were so stupid. So, so stupid. She let you sleep in her bed once, and that was enough to convince you that she would drop her entire life here to come stay with you. Of course she didn’t see you like that.

But you were upset, so you decided to add the nail in your coffin.

“Would it be so bad if I stayed?”

Ellie let out a long sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose between her fingers. It occurred to you that maybe you were annoying her. Maybe she wanted you to leave.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said flatly. “You’re going back.”

“What if I didn’t?”

“You promised.”

“I don’t want to go.”

Ellie blinked hard, then set her jaw before meeting your eyes with startling intensity. “Listen,” she said, her voice harsh, “You do know that you’re just a guest, right?”

“What?”

“You’re a guest,” she repeated, her tone clipped. She continued to stare into you. “You do realize that you’re living in a house that isn’t yours, right? You’re eating food that’s paid for by work shifts that you’re barely equipped to do?”

You furiously swept away the tears brimming on the edge of your eye socket as the gravity of her words finally sunk in.

A guest.

That’s all you’d been.

“This has been a very enlightening conversation.” You pushed off from her bed, throwing the blankets off and straightening out your clothes while you avoided looking at her. If you did, you’d see that look of conviction in her eyes—the one that told you that she meant every word she said.

You stopped at the door, flexing your fingers on the knob as you turned back in her general direction, staring at the floorboards near her feet.

“Thank you for being honest.” Your voice cracked over the final syllables, crunching in your throat and sounding profoundly pathetic.

You were gone before she could say anything else.

Ellie didn’t knock on your door after that. In fact, you hardly ever saw her apart from the occasional blur in the kitchen, her hair thrown haphazardly into a half-bun and her backpack slung over one shoulder as she prepared to leave for whatever work she had to do.

The few times you ever were next to her were when Dina invited you along to get-togethers with her and her friends. Ellie was late once and the only empty seat was next to you. She lingered by the doorway, her few seconds of pause making your chest tighten.

“Sit down, Ellie,” Dina said, snorting and rolling her eyes.

She sat down with so much space between you two left that it was all you could do to not stare at the expanse of vacant fabric. It was funny how something so simple could be so glaringly offensive.

From the corner of your eye, you watched her fingers flex and toy with themselves in a way you’d come to recognize as one of her nervous habits. You yearned to reach out and fold your hands over hers like you would have done just a week or so ago, but you forced that feeling down with all the self-control you could muster.

After everyone else had left, Dina stopped you.

“Did something happen between you and Ellie?” Dina asked, her eyebrows furrowed. “I noticed that you guys don’t hang out together anymore.”

Your mouth opened. There was so much that you wanted to tell her, so much that you’d held back. When you saw the kindness deep in her liquid brown eyes, you couldn’t help yourself. You burst into tears.

“Oh, Y/N.” Her voice was soft as she led you back to the couch, draping an arm around you and letting you get snot all over her shoulder. “What happened?”

And so you told her, albeit with the occasional hiccuped or sniffled interruption as you tried to gather yourself up. Dina’s hand ran up and down your arm in a motion so comforting that if you thought too hard about it you were going to just start crying harder.

“Ellie’s an asshole sometimes,” she said finally. “I think—I think this is a shitty situation for everyone.”

“It doesn’t seem particularly shitty for her,” you said, sniffling loudly. “She doesn’t even seem to care.”

Dina sent you a look. “This is what Ellie does when she cares. She’s just really fucking weird like that. It’s, like,—do you have stray animals in Terranova?”

You shook your head miserably. “No.”

“Of course you don’t. Well,” she continued, “They’re normally very complicated little things. They want love but don’t know how to ask for it. And when they get it, sometimes they don’t know what to do with it.”

“Ellie doesn’t love me. She’s made it very clear what she thinks about me.”

“If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be going around sulking all day,” Dina pointed out, reaching around to tug a lock of your hair in emphasis. “Don’t let this hurt you. She just doesn’t know how to handle this.”

“I don’t know what to do,” you said. You pulled your knees up to your chest. “She avoids me as much as she can. And even if I managed to catch her, I don’t know if I could handle what she’d say to me.”

Dina sighed, leaning into you. “I’ll talk to Joel. He’s the only one I know who can talk some sense into her.”

Jackson was steadily warming. You’d never seen so much sun before in your life—not even in the peak of the Terranovan summers. It was a cruel contrast to the numbness that was steadily spreading within you, the numbness that grew whenever you saw Ellie and it hit you that you were nearing your last few interactions with her.

That night, Joel had officially told you that you were leaving in a week to make the date that the Terranovan contacts had set. You’d decided to go on a walk after, unable to stay still in your room while you heard the familiar creaks and bumps from Ellie’s room.

As you walked onto the porch, you heard Joel’s southern drawl say something hushed to Ellie. You paused at the front door, wondering if you’d be able to catch it, but Joel remained silent. There was a tension that hung in the air, as if they were waiting for the door to fully shut behind you. You took the hint and let it fall closed.

The gravel crunched under your feet as you walked, feeling the early summer breeze waft across your skin. It was just warm enough to be comfortable. When you were back home in just a few weeks, you were going to have to get used to the constant rain and chill that battered Terranova until July.

You were going to have to get used to a lot of things, actually. But it was probably best not to think about that now.

There was nothing left of the sun beyond the slimmest line of cerulean resting on the peaks of the mountains in the distance by the time you reached where you were headed. It was an empty meadow, originally intended for extra horse paddocks that no one had ever gotten around to building. You’d discovered it one night in April when you and Ellie had been walking back from Dina’s, admiring the night sky and talking about nothing to each other.

It was the only place within the walls where the grass was clean and dry enough to lie back and stare up at the night sky. So, here you were, sprawled out in the greenery and watching the universe unfold and brighten above you.

You’d spent so many years of your life staring at textbook photos and fantasizing about what it must’ve been like to gaze up at the stars without the haze of light pollution. Terranova was so compact that you’d be lucky to look up and see any stars, even in the height of winter.

There was an observatory that was set up near the outer border, but even that wasn’t far away enough to escape the city lights. No one (well, now it was almost no one) had the clearance to leave the walls. Astronomers who had come before the time of the outbreak now had to settle for their tiny sliver of the sky, instead passing on their stories of beautiful starry nights in Africa and other foreign lands that you’d never get to see.

Here, though, you were able to see beyond what you could ever imagine. Alongside the dazzling brightness of every star within sight were the colorful wisps of the Milky Way, threading in and around the billions of twinkling suns. It was an explosion of light that brimmed with possibility. Maybe there was a world out there just like this one. There had to be—with trillions or gazillions of solar systems just like our own, you were probably looking in the general direction of a planet just as populated and industrialized as yours.

It hit you then like a ton of bricks—you would never see this again.

Something rustled behind you, but you stayed put, letting your weight sink into the ground and feeling the coolness of the Earth against you.

The rustling continued, passing your ear.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a pair of familiar ragged black converses by your feet.

Ellie laid down close enough that you could feel the waves of heat coming off of her bare arm, but not so near as to touch you.

There was so much that you wanted to say, but nothing came out. All you could do was stare up at the sky, wondering if she was doing the same or looking at you.

There was a nudge at the edge of your hand, tentative at first before Ellie fully slid hers under yours, entwining your fingers and tightly squeezing. It felt suspiciously like an apology.

You sent a pulse back. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as her thumb began to gently trace the skin on the back of your hand, back and forth.

The clammy coolness of Ellie’s hand faded into warmth as you two sat there without a word, letting the heavy silence speak for itself. The line on the horizon faded to black, leaving nothing but the moonlight to wash over you.

There were so many things you wanted to say to her. You wanted to apologize, to tell her you never meant to impose. You wanted her to know that you didn’t expect her to give up her whole life for you. But the weight of the quiet hanging between you two felt far too massive to shake off.

An arc of white streaked across the sky, its tail long and dazzling before it vanished.

“Shooting star!” you exclaimed, jutting your free hand up to the heavens and temporarily forgetting your speechlessness. You’d never seen one before, despite your many years of studying the meteor showers and examining the geological composition of meteorites.

“Do you not have those back home?”

“No,” you said. Now you felt a little embarrassed about how the first thing that you said to her was about the star, not about any of the other pressing issues. “Too much light pollution.”

“That sucks,” mused Ellie, her voice oddly casual. “That’ll be an adjustment for me.”

You froze. “What?”

“I said,” repeated Ellie, “That’ll be an adjustment for me. When I come with you.”

The jolt of shock that shot through you stole your breath, leaving you to just stare at her while her words sunk in.

Her gaze shifted from the sky to you. The ghost of a familiar smirk pulled at the corners of her lips, but something was missing.

“You’re joking.”

She shrugged. “Only if you want me to be.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You don’t need to ask me. I’ve decided.”

“You’re sure?”

There was a sheen in her eyes that you hadn’t seen before. “Positive.”

“Oh my god!” You threw yourself at her, laughter spilling from you as you buried your face in her neck.

Ellie didn’t say anything. She just threaded her fingers through your hair, an arm coming to rest around your waist.

“I’m sorry for everything I said to you,” she said, her breath tickling your ear.

“That’s okay.” You sat up, leaning over her as your fingertips traced the curve of her jaw. Being allowed to touch her again after wanting it so badly for weeks felt unreal. “I just missed you.”

She smiled up at you, but her eyes were sad. “I’ve missed you, too.”

It made sense that she wasn’t completely elated, you reasoned as you reveled in the feel of your skin dragging across hers. She was going to have to say goodbye to so much—even the stars.

“I told you that Joel can come along,” you reminded. “And Tommy. And Maria. Whoever you’d like.”

“I think they’re set on staying here,” Ellie said, sighing.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said.

You dipped your head down, pressing your lips to hers. It was a light brush, but it was enough to send your head spinning after not touching her for so long.

“It’s worth it,” she added.

Your heart swelled, and you were overwhelmed with the desire to freeze the moment as it was and live in it forever. Everything was perfect—the gentle weight of the summer breeze, the light chattering of the crickets and croaks of the frogs in the nearby creek, the way her lips felt against yours, the sky that stretched out infinitely above you. Everything, especially Ellie.

After the night in the meadow, things shifted. Ellie was no longer just publicly interacting with you when forced and keeping all intimacy confined to the hours after 10, but instead finding every excuse to kiss you and touch you, regardless of the context.

It felt almost sinful how abundant Ellie’s affection was now after it had been withheld for so long. The intimidating and distant side of hers crumpled before your eyes, leaving in its wake the remains of a girl who was scared and desperate for affection.

You slept in her room now. That had been a development that you hadn’t expected, but after you two had walked in from the meadow, her hand wrapped around your wrist as you made to go to your room. You hadn’t been back to your bed since.

Ellie was an extraordinarily clingy sleeper, even when the heat outside was mounting. You’d wake up in the middle of the night feeling her cold hands stuck under your shirt, her hair occasionally in your mouth when she burrowed her face into your neck.

When she woke up with a jolt, mumbling something about a nightmare and clammy with a sheen of sweat, she’d let you play with her hair and tell her stories of your life before Jackson.

She would eventually drift, her breath hot against your skin as you sat and watched the stress lines disappear from her face.

On nights that were especially bad, she’d babble to you about her experiences with Joel. That’s when you learned about David—about what really happened the day that she saw a stalker the first time. You’d been stunned into silence, blinking at her as you tried to process what she’d just told you.

Fourteen. She’d been a child when that’d happened.

The more you learned about Ellie’s life, the more you wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and never let her go outside again. What you’d once seen as bravery and an inherent toughness revealed itself to be the result of a gruesome and abhorrent process, of a collection of events that could have easily stripped away her humanity.

But she had saved you. And not only that, she was coming with you. She was giving up everything for you.

Something nagged at you as the day for your departure grew nearer, something that told you that she would get cold feet when it came down to packing up and actually leaving Jackson. But she’d promised you. She’d sworn that she’d come with you.

So there was nothing to worry about.

A spring shower accompanied you in your walk down to Dina’s house, appropriately dampening your hair so that it was about the same wetness as your eyes that brimmed with tears.

You were leaving in two days. This was going to be your goodbye to her.

In some ways, you couldn’t help but feel guilty the way you’d spent significantly less time with her ever since you’d made up with Ellie. At the time, it had just happened. The elation of being in Ellie’s good graces had clouded over the thought of seeing anyone else, Dina or otherwise. Now the fact that you would never see her again was slowly sinking in, coupled with the dread of leaving everything you’d known for the past season.

You mulled over your thoughts as you knocked on her door, wiping your eyes so as to not embarrass yourself. If Dina saw that you were crying, then she’d say something really sweet and comforting, and then you’d be reduced into a sniffling mess within minutes.

You had to pretend that you were fine for at least the first few minutes. You could give yourself that.

Nothing but silence greeted you on the other side of the door. You frowned. Dina was off in the morning; you’d been sure to check. Was she mad at you?

The following knocks at her door continued to go unanswered, and worry started to rise in your throat. Maybe she was mad at you. It had been pretty shitty, disappearing off to hang out with your sort-of-girlfriend when Dina was the one you’d be ultimately leaving.

“Dina?” you called out as a last ditch attempt. “You there?”

There was a shuffling sound from inside the house—quiet, but there. “Y/N? Is that you?”

“Yeah! It’s me!” You couldn’t quite read her tone yet, but she didn’t sound like the care-free, happy Dina that you’d come to be familiar with. Something was wrong.

“Just come in!”

She’d never not been there to answer the door. Dread began to build within you.

The door groaned as you turned the doorknob and pushed it in, revealing Dina’s dimly lit sitting room. The overhead light was off, the curtains were drawn tight, and just one flickering candle in the middle put off any light.

And there was Dina, crouched on the couch, knees up to her chest and tucked under her chin.

“Are you okay?!” You shut the door behind you and rushed to her side, the old couch wobbling as the cushion adjusted to your weight.

“You weren’t supposed to see me like this,” said Dina, wiping the tear streaks away from her cheek with her palm. “I’m sorry. I was planning on doing a fun going-away thing for you and Ellie. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“What happened?” you asked, bringing up a hand to rest on her shoulder.

Dina stayed quiet, instead burying her face into her knees and letting out a rattling sigh.

“Is it because Ellie’s leaving?”

She laughed then, a short, disbelieving chuckle. “No,” she said, sniffling. “It’s not Ellie.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m—oh, God, I can’t say it.”

“You can tell me anything, you know,” you said gently, your hand moving to rub circles into her shoulder. “I’m not going to judge you. Or tell anyone else, either. Not even Ellie.”

“I’m…” She took in one breath, then shut her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

Your heart skipped. In all of your worries about the apocalypse, you’d forgotten that comparatively trivial issues like teen pregnancy existed.

“Pregnant?” you repeated.

“Yes.” Dina furiously swiped at her face. “Pregnant. Fucking—fucking pregnant, and I’m not even with Jesse anymore. It’s bullshit, all of it. I didn’t think I—I was so careful—”

“And you’re totally sure?” you asked, trying to school your features into something that didn’t resemble absolute horror and failing abysmally. “Like, is it possible that you’re just late or something?”

She shook her head, hiccuping once. “No. I’ve missed two now. I thought the first one was just because I was stressed. Then the second happened, and I took a pregnancy test that I’d snagged, mostly for jokes, from one of the pharmacies I passed during a patrol.”

“And it came back positive?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe you don’t need to worry about it yet.” Despite the content of your words, hysteria was rising in your voice. “Maybe it’s expired. They do that, don’t they? That thing has to be—what—almost 30 years old? Maybe it’s faulty.”

“I know that I’m pregnant,” Dina said firmly. “I don’t know how else to put it. I just know I do. Something’s not right. I’m tired all of the time. I don’t get periods, but I’m spotting. I’m just not myself anymore. I’ve never felt like this.”

You swallowed. Pregnancy was something that you had always mentally earmarked as a problem for your older self. The thought of growing a human being inside of you and then pushing it out chilled you to the bone, and that was even with the knowledge that if you ever fell pregnant you’d be giving birth with an epidural and the help of trained medical professionals.

Out here, though? There was none of that.

“I know this is stupid,” Dina began, her voice raspy, “But I’m so, so scared. I’ve fought hordes of infected and killed people, but the thought of having to go through this is too much. I don’t think I can do it.”

“Has anyone here given birth before?” you asked, thinking for a moment before adding to your question. “...Successfully?”

“Maria. Once. And a few unsuccessful attempts. One of my old patrol buddies Wryn…she wasn’t so lucky.”

“Oh,” you said, hoping the horror on your face was sufficiently hidden. “Um—do you know how your mother was when she had you? That’s a good indicator, right?”

Dina sent you a watery smile. “Uh, that’s the thing. She didn’t make it.”

Your heart thudded harder in your chest as her smile melted away and she choked out another sob, dropping her head onto her knees. She looked so impossibly small and frail. It was difficult to reconcile the image with the Dina you were most familiar with, the one that was larger than life and wasn’t afraid of anything.

“What if you came with me?” you heard your voice say.

Her eyes snapped up to yours. “What?”

“Come with me,” you said, doctoring your words to sound more commanding. “I’ll take you with me and Ellie. We’re leaving in just a few days. You’ll be safe. Your baby will be safe. You’ll survive. You’ll have the best doctors alive in the world—I’ll make sure of it.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” she said. Her arm came up to swipe under her nose, and you could see the dark marks from the previous snot on the faded maroon fabric. “That’s—no. I can’t.”

“I’m telling you that I’ll take you. I don’t need you to ask me. I want you to live, Dina. I want you to have a good life. I’ve told you how it is there, right? How nice everything is? How everything’s at your fingertips? That can be yours.”

“How do you even know they’ll let you bring guests?”

“Because they know my family,” you said. “If I say that I’m not coming home without you and Ellie, then they’ll take you.”

“Oh, so you’re some big shot?”

“Sort of.”

“Right.” Dina laughed dryly, throwing her hands up. “Why the fuck not. I’m going to Terranova.”

“Do you believe in aliens?”

Ellie’s voice cut through the crickets and frog song in the night air. You two were lying down in the meadow, soaking in the last few hours you had left.

“Of course,” you said, turning to face her.

“What do you mean, of course?” she said, a mocking lilt in her voice as she mimicked you.

“I mean that of course there’s aliens out there,” you elaborated. “How could there not be?”

“Why, have you met one?”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Obviously not. It’s just—I dunno, it’s an academically accepted hypothesis that there likely is. The universe is so big.”

Ellie was quiet for a few beats before she spoke up again. “It is?”

“Yeah.”

“None of my books ever said anything about that.”

“They wouldn’t have,” you said, a weight settling into your chest. “That was decided after the outbreak occurred.”

When she stayed silent, you elaborated.

“You know that book that I brought? The one about exoplanets?”

“Of course.”

“We think that most stars out there have exoplanets,” you explained, reaching your hand up into the sky, letting your fingers trace over the familiar constellations. “We’re not sure how likely it is to find one with Earth-like conditions, but there’s so many stars with so many possible solar systems that there has to be something out there.”

“That’s so fucking cool.” The rare display of Ellie’s enthusiasm made you crack a grin.

“Right? And when you come back with me, you can study with me. I can get you enrolled in the university. We can go out to the observatory and you can use a real telescope to look at the stars.”

“Yeah,” said Ellie, though she sounded a little more distant now.

You knew you were getting carried away, letting all the fantasies that had been rattling around in your brain come flying off your tongue, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Ellie was coming with you.

You still weren’t sure if you’d ever get used to it. You didn’t understand how she was so okay with it—how she didn’t even need you to ask her to come after she’d said no the first time. The fact that she was so willing to give up everything for you was so heartwarming that it moved you to tears.

No matter how you tried to look at it, you couldn’t quite come to terms with what had driven her to come with you and leave everything behind, even Joel. How Joel was even letting her go was yet another mystery, but as long as you had her, then what did that matter?

That night, after you two had finished stargazing in the meadow, Ellie had held you tighter than ever in her bed, pressing her to you like she thought you were going to run away.

“Is everything alright?” you asked, voice muffled from where your face was pressed into her shoulder.

“I’m just cold,” Ellie complained. She reached down to pull the comforter up to cover you both in emphasis, letting her hands slide under your shirt and rest between your shoulder blades.

“Are you nervous about leaving?”

“A little. You?”

“No,” you said honestly, lifting your head from her chest to meet her gaze with soft eyes. “Not since you agreed to come.”

Her lips pulled into a tight smile before she leaned forward, dropping a kiss onto the tip of your nose.

In your dream, you and Ellie were in your dorm. You explained the meaning of your posters and let her borrow your books.

In your dream, you rambled on about the Hubble space telescope and the life cycle of stars. You pointed to your posters, letting the pads of your fingers catch on on the rough edges of the canvas. When you turned back, Ellie was gone. You’d been rambling to yourself, you realized. Ellie wasn’t there. She’d never been there. All the books you remembered pulling off your shelf to place in her waiting hands were still there, a thin layer of dust on their spines from the neglect your absence had caused.

You awoke in a cold sweat to find that the bed was empty. There was no warmth on the other side that would suggest that Ellie had been there at all.

Sunlight spilled into the room at an angle that suggested it was barely dawn, dust particles dancing in its beam. The light stopped before it reached your backpack, stuffed full with the things you were taking home.

Home. You were going home.

Instead of the relief you were expecting, you felt nothing but acute dread. Maybe you were just tired, you reasoned. It was normal to feel sad that you weren’t going to be seeing the same people that had welcomed you in with open arms for months on end. It was normal for a budding astrophysicist to miss the night sky and the clean air.

The sun had slowly crept up to swallow more of Ellie’s room while you had thought. Though you and Ellie hadn’t specified an exact hour for leaving, it was getting pretty late in the morning. It was time to go.

After you’d dressed and slung your backpack over your shoulder, you took one last look over your shoulder into Ellie’s room. You’d made the bed, of course, but you could still see the divets at the end of the bed where you two had sat on her comforter the night prior.

Ellie had surprisingly left many things, apparently internalizing your stories about Terranova and its abundance of…everything. It was strange, though. All of the classic Ellie items that you’d come to associate with her—the joke book, the broken Walkman, the comic books—were left just as they always were, stacked on her dresser like she was planning on cracking open one of her comic books later.

A sound in the kitchen shook you out of it, reminding you that you were probably holding everyone up.

Joel was in the kitchen with Ellie, handing her a bundle of what you could only assume to be ammo as she rummaged through her backpack.

“Morning, Y/N,” he said casually. “Feeling ready?”

It was strange to see how nonchalant he was acting at the prospect of sending off his adopted daughter forever.

“Yeah,” you said, smiling at him. “Sure you don’t want to come? You’re going to run out of my coffee soon.”

He laughed. “I like it here in Jackson just fine. But thanks, kiddo.”

The dread in your chest grew. Why wasn’t he more upset? Had you overestimated the closeness of their relationship? Was Joel just exceptionally talented at hiding his emotions and being stoic?

That wasn’t true. You knew that that wasn’t true, given that you’d seen him mope around for an entire day before Ellie indulged you and explained that it was the anniversary of his daughter’s—his biological daughter—death. He clearly knew what it was like to experience loss. So why was he so ready to give up Ellie?

Was she even going to come?

That was ridiculous, you thought, scolding yourself. Of course she was going to come. She was packing her bag right in front of you.

As if you’d willed it into existence, Ellie turned around and smiled. “Hey. Sorry for not waking you up. You were out cold.”

“It’s okay,” you said, your cheeks growing steadily pinker. You’d need to remind Ellie that she couldn’t say things like that once she met your family. The implications that you two shared a bed without it being explicitly necessary would be…troubling, to say the least.

Thankfully, Joel didn’t seem to pay it any mind, instead fussing with the straps of her bag.

“You sure these things are comfortable?” he said, turning to Ellie. “It looks like the fasteners are loose.”

“I’ve never noticed,” said Ellie flatly.

You lingered in the space between the counter and the door, awkwardly silent as you tried to figure out what to do. Ellie and Joel were acting really weird, and you couldn’t figure out why. Maybe this was how people in the apocalypse did it—they just avoided saying goodbyes.

Why wouldn’t Joel want to come?

“I’ll go check on Dina,” you said, your cheeks still hot as you stepped back through the door.

Joel and Ellie’s heads lifted.

“Bring her over,” said Joel in response. “We’ll be ready by the time you get back.”

Jackson was bustling as you made your way down the street. You waved to the few schoolchildren you’d been introduced to by Dina and accepted a hug from Bonnie, who was profoundly sad to see you go.

“I’ll miss you,” she said, sniffing as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand without shame. “It really fucking sucks that you have to go home, you know? It was fun patrolling with you.”

“I’ll miss you, too,” you said, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Have you said goodbye to Ellie and Dina yet?”

“No,” Bonnie said, her voice wavering. A sheepish look spread on her features. “I’m always bad at saying goodbyes.”

“That’s okay. We’re not leaving until Ellie’s all packed, so you have a bit if you’d like to stop by before.”

“I’ll try,” said Bonnie, touching your elbow and stopping away. “But if I don’t see you again, be safe, alright?”

Dina was sitting on the steps of her front steps, her dark hair spilling over her shoulder as she contorted over to tighten her laces.

“Hey you,” you said. It was the first time you’d spoken to someone without feeling profoundly guilty for leaving. Ellie was being ripped from her family. The friends you’d made here were being left behind. Joel was losing a daughter. But Dina? Dina was being promised a life of safety.

You could be happy without feeling bad about it with Dina.

“Hey yourself,” she echoed, tilting her head up to grin at you. “Feeling ready?”

“Barely,” you admitted, joining her on the middle step. “I’m scared shitless. Just going on patrol is scary enough. What if we get jumped?”

“We probably will.”

“Dina!”

She shrugged, giving you a devilish look. “I’m just being honest. But you’ve got me and you’ve got Ellie. Together we’re very scary.”

“Terrifying,” you said gravely, nodding.

“You’ve gotten such an attitude,” said Dina. “Ellie’s rubbing off on you.”

“I wasn’t kidding!” you said, slapping her shoulder.

She grinned back at you, and you felt a rush of gratitude so strong that it nearly moved you to tears.

“I’m ready to go,” she said, sitting up and reaching for her pack behind her. “You?”

“I’m ready too,” you said. “Joel told me to come get you and bring you over. I think they’re almost all prepped too.”

“Exciting,” said Dina, wiggling her fingers at you. “Baby’s first adventure.”

You rolled your eyes. “Baby’s last adventure. Hopefully we’ll never need to go traipsing about the woods again.”

“Are there even any woods where we’re heading?”

The gravel crunched under your feet as you and Dina retraced your path back to Joel’s. “Nowhere near where we’ll be. It’s woodsy near the borders, but no one ever goes there.”

“It’s going to be weird to live in a city.”

“You’ll get used to it. It’s nice, really. Anything you’ll ever need is within a block of you,” you told her. “Every fruit and vegetable you can imagine is a short walk away. The first thing I’m doing once I’m back is buying an orange. I miss those.”

“An orange?” Dina’s face was shocked. “Oranges? How do you even grow that stuff?”

You shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I know it can’t be grown in Terranova. It’s way too cold to be doing that. I think they must be imported from somewhere.”

“How could that be?” Dina asked.

“I have no idea.”

Joel and Ellie were on the porch by the time you two reached their home, with Joel resting a hand on her shoulder as he said something into her ear, too low for you to hear.

Ellie nodded, the bun that gathered the top of her hair bobbing. Then she turned to you.

For a moment, you thought she might tell you that she was staying. But then she bounded down the stairs to you, a smile on her lips as her backpack thudded once against her back.

“You ready?” she asked.

“Yeah,” you said, swallowing hard.

“You’ll be fine,” Ellie said, giving your shoulder an affectionate shove. “Have you said your goodbyes already? We should really head out.”

You had said almost all of your goodbyes—but there was still one left.

“Joel,” you said, a lump forming in your throat as you ascended the steps toward him and threw your arms around his shoulders.

He was stiff, awkwardly patting your back, but when you pulled away you could see that he was smiling.

“You’ve been so kind to me,” you began. “I can’t even begin to thank you enough. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, kiddo,” he said, affectionately tousling your hair. “Don’t die out there, okay? And think of me whenever you’re buying coffee.”

“I will,” you promised, no longer caring about the mistiness in your eyes. “I’ll look after Ellie, too.”

Something flitted past his face before he schooled it into a mask of indifference. “Right. You three better be off, alright? Don’t want it getting dark before you’ve got a good head start.”

And that was the last thing Joel said to you before sending you all off. He had the good graces to linger on the porch, though, waving at you as you made your way alongside Ellie and Dina past the gates.

Traveling was more boring than you expected. Each morning was the same—wake up, eat whatever rations Ellie had packed in her bag, and boil enough water from the stream to fill all of your water bottles.

The actual going wasn’t much more exciting. Where you were headed was so desolate that there were hardly any infected, Ellie explained to you. Any of the few infected that had the misfortune of stumbling across you were made quick work of by Ellie and her knives.

Ellie was always tetchy about letting you take over watch as she and Dina slept. She’d sidle up to you in your sleeping bag and rest her head on your shoulder, but you could tell that she was fighting to stay awake in case there was any trouble.

When she did sleep, it was fitful. She’d murmur and thrash around, making you bite your lip more than once to keep yourself from yelping and startling her and Dina awake when she’d accidentally kick you.

And when she was awake, she wasn’t much more affectionate. Maybe it was because Dina was there and she was embarrassed to be touchy, you rationalized, but it still stung when she’d only briefly peck your lips or brush her mouth across your forehead when you were nearby, like she was just doing it mechanically.

On the sixth day—one day before you were due to be at the pickup point—things finally ramped up.

You awoke to find the sleeping bag cold, accompanied only by the soft sounds of Dina’s rhythmic breathing. The forest floor was cold against your hand—it had been unconsciously flung out onto the bed of pine next to you in your sleep. Dew had collected on it, making your hand damp as you pulled it in to inspect it.

The sun was barely beginning to peek over the horizon, sending a few golden rays through the trees and illuminating just the tops of the trees above you.

Ellie was nowhere to be seen.

“Ellie!” you hissed, sitting up and looking around frantically. To your horror, you discovered that her pack was missing, along with her shoes and the jacket she’d hung over the tree branches next to the clearing you were sleeping in.

It was like she’d never been there.

“Ellie!” you said again, louder this time.

Nothing. Just a few nervous titters from the birds in the underbrush, startled into taking flight to higher ground. Stupid, stupid you. If anything was out here, you’d just revealed where you were. Hopefully you were still far enough out from any civilization that there were no infected to hear. If you weren’t…

You gulped, reaching into your pack a few feet away to pull out the small gun Joel had given you. Dina was still out cold, snoring quietly to your side. She’d been getting weaker as her pregnancy progressed, given that she was almost a trimester along already. Between the two of you, you were stronger, which was not a very comforting thought to have. If she was a little more nourished, things might’ve been different. But given how severe Dina’s morning sickness had gotten, it was lucky for her to keep anything down.

It was all you. You had to be the protector, for the very first time. Without Ellie, there was no one else to save you.

A twig snapped somewhere behind you, and you whirled around. The cool metal of the gun bit into your hand as you held it up, dragging its tip across the span of the forest that you could see. There was nothing there—not yet.

Maybe it had been a squirrel.

Then you heard them—light footfalls. Human footsteps, clearly from someone who was trying to avoid branches and evade detection.

You willed your hands not to shake as you held your gun up again, feeling the adrenaline pulse through you with every heartbeat. The thick spring underbrush that had made you feel safe and concealed as you traveled through the forest was now something you resented, obscuring whatever was in the woods while letting it see perfectly well into your clearing.

A rustling came from your right, and you swung around to see a slightly bedraggled Ellie, holding the carcass of two rabbits.

“Fucking Christ!” she gasped upon seeing your gun. “Put that down! It’s just me!”

There was a twig sticking out from her hair.

“Sorry!” You let your gun fall, feeling suddenly very embarrassed. “I just—I woke up, and you were gone. I thought something had happened.”

“Sorry,” said Ellie, slinging the rabbits over her shoulder as she approached you. “We were running out of food. I set these snare traps last night and thought I’d check them while you two were still asleep. There’s nothing out here. I wouldn’t have left you if I thought otherwise.”

“You could’ve told me,” you said accusingly.

“I forgot to,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Then she knelt down and kissed you, her chapped lips rough against yours.

A retching sound startled both of you apart.

“Sorry,” said Dina, wiping her eyes after she’d dry heaved on the dirt next to her sleeping bag. “That wasn’t because of you guys. I love gay people.”

“Good morning,” you said, blushing. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she responded. She was looking terribly frail. “Did I miss anything?”

“You missed Y/N trying to kill me,” offered Ellie.

“She’s lying,” you told her. “Don’t listen.”

The rest of the morning went on without a hitch, with Ellie cleaning the rabbits and setting them over a small fire. It was strange that she’d gone through the trouble of getting two whole rabbits—you three were about to be picked up and Dina wasn’t eating anyway—but you supposed she just set as many snare traps as she could and didn’t want to leave any evidence of them being there.

Then, once you three had finally reached the coordinates and set up camp just as the sun was beginning to kiss the forest ridge, Ellie disappeared in the woods again, leaving you both at the edge of a large, flower-filled meadow.

“Why does she always do that?” you asked Dina, rolling out your sleeping bags and brushing off dirt.

Dina was sat on her roll, looking weaker than ever. You were more thankful than ever that the journey had almost come to an end. Though you were hoping that she was just having a difficult first trimester, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was something more serious.

“It’s Ellie.” Dina’s voice was tired, ragged. “She always does shit like this.”

“Hm,” you said, finishing with your sleeping bag and looking back at her. “Do you need help? Do you think you’re up to eating something?”

“No, and no,” she said, hanging her head between her knees miserably. “Even the thought of eating makes me want to puke.”

“Noted,” you said. “You should really try for some water, though.”

Dina let you help her take small sips from the bottle in your pack before shoo-ing you away. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “No need to fret over me like this.”

“Just think of the care you’re going to get tomorrow,” you told her, reaching up to brush a piece of her hair behind her ear. “They’ll probably hook you up to an IV. You’ll feel better than ever.”

Dina sent you a weak smile, but before she could answer, a shot rang off in the distance and cut her off.

“Shit,” you said, reaching for your pack.

Another shot. Then another, closer this time.

It was unmistakably from the direction that Ellie had gone.

Both you and Dina kept your guns trained firmly on the patch of the woods that Ellie had disappeared into, hearing nothing but the sound of your breathing. Even the birds had gone quiet, scared into silence from the loud noise.

One more shot rang out before the sound was replaced by crashing in an underbrush.

Ellie appeared in the meadow, gun drawn and chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Ellie!” You momentarily forgot your fear of being jumped by something in the woods and rushed towards her.

She was covered in blood and reeked of that sickeningly sweet stench that could only come from someone infected with Cordyceps. It took you a few agonizing seconds to realize that the blood wasn’t hers—just splatters from whoever was on the other end of her gun.

“What happened?” you asked, eyes wide.

Ellie holstered her gun. Then she swallowed. “I was setting another snare and got jumped. Apparently there were a few by the creek—probably carried in from a town by the current. It’s fine. I took care of them.”

“You don’t look fine,” said Dina from behind you. “You look like shit.”

“I could say the same for you.”

That shut Dina up.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Your fingers danced across the planes of her face, checking to see if there were any wounds. You didn’t understand why she’d set a snare when you were all getting picked up in less than 24 hours and already had enough food, but you decided to save that line of questioning for another time.

“I’m fine,” she promised. “They didn’t get me.”

Satisfied, you returned to your makeshift camp and helped Dina build a small fire to warm up the last of your rations. Ellie sat beside you on the sleeping bag, suspiciously quiet. Once all three of you had finished eating and the sun finally disappeared, Dina passed out cold, leaving you and Ellie.

“You really scared me today,” you said, your voice soft in an attempt to not stir Dina.

“I can handle myself.” Ellie reached up and affectionately tapped the top of your nose. “Don’t worry about me.”

You stared into her eyes, feeling a swell of affection so potent that you probably would’ve been forced to take a seat if you weren’t already. She still hadn’t cleaned off the speckles of blood on her face—probably because she hadn’t noticed. There were no mirrors in the woods.

“You have something” was all you said before you reached up to her face, pulling the sleeve of your shirt under your fingers so you could thumb away the droplets on her cheek. She graciously allowed it, not even flinching when you pressed too hard on her nose.

“Sorry,” you whispered guiltily.

You were sure she was going to make some sort of snarky comment in response, but to your surprise, she didn’t. She leaned forward and kissed you deeply instead, threading her fingers into the hair at the nape of your neck and tilting your head.

It was a real kiss. She hadn’t really kissed you since you left Jackson.

Even after she pulled away, her touch lingered, her hands resting on your neck and in your hair. There was still a little blood on her, but the fire was quickly dying and without it one ill slip of the hand might result in poking her eye out, so you refrained and just joined her in the sleeping bag.

Ellie didn’t say anything for a while, instead just wrapping her arms around you and resting her head on your shoulder. Her breathing was slow and even, and for a while you thought she’d actually fallen asleep.

Then she spoke. “I’m really glad I met you.”

“I’m really glad I met you, too,” you said, the smile that spread across your lips entirely uncontrollable. You couldn’t remember the last time Ellie had so willingly offered such affectionate words unprompted.

You slept easily that night, listening to the sounds of Ellie breathing and tangling your fingers into her hair.

The next morning arrived quickly, and before you knew it, the sun was high in the sky and your trio was poised at the edge of the meadow, waiting anxiously.

For a moment, you genuinely wondered if Joel had been wrong—if the coordinates had been copied down incorrectly—if they had given up on retrieving you after all. As you and Dina and Ellie stood, there was nothing but the heavy blanket of silence weighing over your shoulders.

Not even the birds were singing.

That should’ve tipped you off, you realized. Not a second later after this revelation did the rattling chop chop chop of a helicopter’s wings begin to sound from the distance.

Dina gasped, her finger lifting as she pointed to the horizon. “Is that them?”

Crows leapt from the peaks of the forest, taking to the sky in troves as a black helicopter appeared over the treeline, small at first but growing quickly.

“Better hope they land quickly,” said Ellie gruffly. “Every infected in earshot is going to come sprinting once it lands.”

That thought hadn’t occurred to you, and you gulped at the prospect of having to outrun a horde just in the nick of time to leap onto the helicopter

But as the helicopter drew closer and began to descend, sending a strong gust of wind that gathered your hair and whipped it away from your face, fear wasn’t the only emotion flooding through you. It was accompanied by relief.

You’d made it. You’d traveled nearly a week in the wilderness to get here, and all of you came out in one piece, even with Dina’s rapidly declining state.

And all of you were coming to Terranova.

Maybe once it finally sunk in for Ellie that you were both safe, she’d finally go back to being more vulnerable with you.

The helicopter touched down roughly, nearly pitching to the side as it rocked on the uneven footing before it managed to steadily distribute its weight on its landing skids. After spending months away from home, the roar of the motor and the distinct smell of gasoline in the air felt foreign.

The door in its body opened up, halving the painted copy of the blue and white Terranovan flag as two men dressed in what you could only describe as military uniforms and carrying guns leapt out.

Guns? Why did they have guns?

“Y/N?” one of them yelled, holding the hand that wasn’t gripping his rifle to shield his eyes from the sun. “Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you?”

There was something in the tone of his voice that tugged at the strings of your memory. He almost sounded like—

“Simon?” you called out, a grin splitting your face. “Is that you?”

Simon had been a classmate of yours in high school, a distant family friend. You hadn’t seen him since you moved onto university, though.

“Who are your friends?” he yelled back, though the blade was slowing down as the motor cut out and another soldier appeared behind him.

“Dina and Ellie,” you said. “They—they saved me. They’re going to stay with my family until we figure things out.”

It was difficult to see well with the blindingly bright sun, but you could just feel his disbelieving stare. One of his colleagues leaned over to him and whispered something in his ear, and he nodded, holstering his gun and reaching for something else on his belt.

“What are you doing?” you asked, nervousness building. You’d never really let yourself consider the possibility that they wouldn’t let Dina and Ellie in with you. With your parents being who they were to the founder, it was difficult to imagine them saying no to anything you asked, especially when Simon knew your family personally.

“Mandatory testing,” said Simon, waving a black contraption with a flashing screen that you’d never seen before. “If they pass, they can come.”

You audibly sighed in relief, letting out a laugh that sounded more like a choked sob. In that moment, you could’ve hugged Simon.

They were coming.

You turned to Ellie, ready to celebrate the good news with her. She was already looking back, but she wasn’t smiling.

“Y/N,” she said, her voice unlike anything you’d ever heard from her mouth before. It was resigned, solemn. “I need to tell you something.”

There was a beep to your left, and you saw that the screen on the black stick had turned green upon touching Dina’s skin.

“Can it wait?” you asked, looking eagerly towards the testing tool. If Ellie’s prediction of all the infected in the area being drawn to the commotion was correct, you wanted out of there as soon as possible. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk on the ride there.”

“No,” she said shortly. “We need to talk now.”

Without paying any attention to the words exchanged, Simon stepped towards you and pressed the machine into the flesh of your forearm. It was cool and slightly damp. Within seconds, there was a flash of green as the display came alive.

“What can you possibly have to say to me now?” you asked, keeping your voice light despite the return of that nagging dread that something was terribly wrong.

Ellie opened her mouth, then shut it, casting her green eyes up to the sky and blinking rapidly. It could have just been the trick of the light, or maybe it was just sweat, but you could have sworn the droplet that Ellie swiped away quickly under her eye was a tear.

Simon moved onto Ellie, and after what looked like some deliberation on her part, she obediently let him lift her hand and press the tester into her skin.

“Spit it out. You’re making me nervous,” you said, your voice wavering as it weakly attempted to sound light-hearted, because she really was stressing you out.

Ellie met your eyes, her lips slightly parted as her eyebrows drew together. There was that look again—the one that you could never decipher. The one that almost looked like an apology.

The screen glowed red.

For a moment everything froze. Then someone who sounded like you screamed.

“She’s staying,” said Simon, stepping away from Ellie quickly. “Let’s load up.”

“No!” you cried, grabbing onto Ellie’s arm and holding tight. “She’s not infected. Something’s wrong with your scanner.”

“Nothing’s wrong with it,” said Simon. “She’s sick. We need to go before she turns.”

“She’s not!” you argued back, putting yourself in between Simon and Ellie. “I’ve been with her for the past week. If she’d been bit, I’d know it.”

A hand rested on your shoulder. “Y/N, you have to let me go. I’m sorry.”

You whipped around to stare at her, tears spilling from your eyes. Ellie was looking back at you, her face broken.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, softer this time. “I’m really sorry.”

“When?” you managed to choke out. “How?”

She just smiled sadly at you, her eyes flicking over your shoulder to look at the Terranovan authorities behind you before resting on you again. “You’ll be okay. Go on, alright?”

“You can’t be infected,” you tried again, but even as the words came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if they were true. You’d cleaned off Ellie after she’d told you about the run in she’d had the evening before, but you’d never asked to check her. It was totally possible that she’d been bit and you’d never known. “Not after—not after everything you’ve been through. You can’t.”

Then she stepped forward, drawing you into her arms and curling them around your sides. You buried your face into her neck, not caring about how hard you were crying now. She let you hang onto her, let your fingers twist in the fabric of her windbreaker.

“I lo—”

“Don’t,” she said hoarsely, finally dropping her arms and stepping away from you. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Simon wrapped a commanding hand around the flesh of your arm, tugging you away.

“I’m never going to forget you,” you rushed out, twisting in his grip as you tried to meet her eyes. “I won’t. I promise.”

In response, Ellie raised a hand, waving to you as Simon dragged you up into the helicopter. There was no surprise on her face—just a sense of resignation that made you realize that she’d already prepared for this. Probably last night, when you were trying to sleep.

That’s what she’d wanted to tell you. She’d wanted to say goodbye.

Simon shut the door, yelling something to the man sitting in front of you in the cockpit. Dina wrapped her arm around you, pulling you into her side, whispering something that was probably meant to be comforting in your ear. But you couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t focus on anything but the Ellie-shaped shadow slowly fading into the backdrop as you took to the sky.

Before you knew it, that was gone too.

final a/n: after this we are out of the woods! i am so sorry again for making u all wait so long for something with this kind of cliffhanger. i sincerely wish that i had more time to work on this fic. i really want to get it finished before my semester ends in may tho so i can just work on original work after so i’ll try and churn out the next 2 parts + the epilogue!! thank you for reading as always!

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x you #ellie williams angst

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gojos-fr-bae · 21 days

Text

𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔇𝔬 𝔓𝔱. 1 (ℜ𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡)

Pairing: CEO!Gojo x Fem!Lawyer!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, drinking, smoking, strippers, giving head, thoughts of su1c1de, mentions of sex, vomiting, shameless flirting

Word Count: 2.2K

A/N: Heyyyy, so I finally redid this. It is mostly just part 1 and 2 together but I fixed it up to make it make more sense. I hope this is more like, uk, coherent and enjoyable to read. Hope you enjoyyyyy ❤️

Minors DNI

A lawsuit.

He scoffed at the thought that someone would dare try to make an attack at him. He thought that it took a certain level of stupidity to try to attack the CEO of the most powerful tech company in Korea.

For once, someone had managed to leave his army of lawyers speechless.

A person was suing Gojo Industries because their phone had exploded in their hand. This at first didn't phase him. But as he sat there being served a 20,000 dollar fine, he couldn't help but stare at the woman who had caused his amazement as she walked out celebrating her victory with her client and associates.

How...curious.

That was a week ago, a week before he had to sit through the most brutal court hearings he had ever experienced.

"Did you find her?" Gojo asked his assistant Nanami as he entered his office.

"Yes actually, now get off my back," He said in his monotone voice, slamming the file down on his desk

"Thanks Nanamiiin," He said, giving him his signature toothy grin, opening the file. "And you reached out?"

"Yes, her contract with Hanbada ends in two days and I've already scheduled an interview tomorrow at 11am."

"Alright that's all, you may leave."

"Now that that's settled, what the fuck are you thinking!?" Nanami asked, speaking to Gojo not as his assistant but as his friend.

"What do you meeean, why do I have to have some hidden motive to hire such a brilliant person to my legal team?"

"Well first of all, that's the first time I've heard you use the word brilliant in reference to anyone but yourself EVER, and second of all the last time you did this it was with that lady in marketing and got caught fucking her in the board room,"

"...details, details, wanna go to the club?" he asked, getting and picking his phone and car keys.

"Sure I guess," Nanami replied, sighing and taking off his tie, "But lay off the drugs for once will you, we have a meeting tomorrow morning and I don't need you to show up wrecked like last time."

"We both know I can't promise you that," He said, turning around to face his friend and lighting a cigarette.

"So, you excited for that interview you got comin' up?" your best friend Toji asked, placing your wine on the coffee table while opening his bottle of beer and sitting next to you on the floor.

"Mmm, I don't know, it's for the company I went against in my last case."

"The asshole who kept staring at you in court?"

"The very same."

"Fuckin' shit" He groaned, taking u gulp of his beer "Need me to take you?'

"Nah it's ok, if he does anything weird I'll kick his junk and call you.

"That's my girl" Toji laughed before playing the movie and pulling you into his side. "If that doesn't work pull out your knife and aim for the jugular."

"Yes sir."

"Satoru get your ass up so we can leave this shit hole." Nanami seethed at his so calledbest friend who was currently fucking some random stripper's throat. He was absolutely zooted.

"F-fuck Nanamiin, come on don-mmmhh," Gojo groaned, puffs of shisha escaping his lips.

"Fucking asshole," Nanami whispered under his breath, planning how he would murder his stupid friend. Why on earth did he still put up with his bs.

Everything hurts.

His head hurts, his arms hurt, his legs hurt. But worst of all, is the ache he felt in his heart. It was so unbearable it caused him to shed silent tears, wishing for his torture to end.

Why did he have to wake up? Why did he have to keep breathing, keep living, why couldn't it all just...stop.

"Get up, you need to get to work." Nanami said from across the room, feeling pity for the man laid down before him.

"Am I really that insufferable and unlovable?"

"Satoru, please."

"Why did she leave," his voice croaked, tears spilling from his eyes as he gazed out his bedroom window, laying still in his bed.

"I don't know Gojo, and I wouldn't say you're unlovable, insufferable sure but you know."

Gojo just sighed before falling out of his bed, and sprinting to his bathroom. All Nanami could hear were his friend's sobs while he threw his guts up.

"Sir, Miss L/N is here to see you."

Gojo sighed, running his hands over his face, careful not to rub the concealer and foundation covering his eye bags, contacts, blocking how red his eyes are from the bottle of whiskey and two cigarettes he had for breakfast.

"Send her in," he groaned, plastering his most charismatic smile he could on his face.

"Miss L/N, please, have a seat," he said, motioning to the seat across his desk.

"Thank you sir," you said in a soft tone, bowing slightly before taking the seat he offered.

"So, tell me about yourself"

"Oh, well I studied law at The University of Br-

" uh uh uh, that's not what I meant, I already saw all that on the resume, I want to know more about you" he said in a deep tone licking his lips while looking you up and down. Strike 1.

"Oh.. ok, well um... I'm from (Country name), I'm 22 and I love dogs…."

"(Country name) huh? No wonder you're so beautiful" Strike 2

"Hahaha, yeaaahhh. Anyways I would really appreciate a spot on your legal team. I researched it and noticed a lot of prestigious and highly respected advocates and attorneys and it would be my honour to work beside them," you said trying to shift the conversation back to a more professional tone.

"I'm sure you would do well considering how sexy you look in that suit," Strike fucking 3

"Alright you douche bag I'm not going to sit here and let you sexualize me knowing there's dozens of companies in the country who offered me well paying jobs so I wi-"

"We'll pay you 50,000 dollars per month"

"And where do I sign,"

So, you ignore all his passes on you but hear him out when he talks about work? How...curious.

*****

Gojo stirred from his sleep...again.

He's waking up...again.

Why couldn't he just be at peace for once.

Suddenly he felt so nauseous. And then came the pain. The strong, unbearable, disgusting, white hot pain.

He ran to the toilet and gagged so hard, trying so hard to throw up the food he hadn't even eaten.

When was the last time he ate?

He couldn't even remember the last time he had a proper meal on a ‘good day’ let alone when he was throwing up so hard his vision was blurring. But then again, maybe those were his tears as sobs racked his body.

Make it stop, make it stop MAKE IT STOOP!

Why wouldn't it all just stop. Maybe it was the two bottles of gin he took before bed...or the five sleeping pills...or the 50mg cocaine. All he knew was that he was sitting on his bathroom floor wishing he took the entire bottle of pills, maybe then they would've been enough to stop his heart.

*Knocks*

"Satoru, you're going to be late!" Shouted Nanami, annoyed on the other side of the door.

Gojo slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle his cries.

"Satoru?" Nanami tried again, voice sounding slightly more worried this time.

The lack of a response caused him to open the door, his stoic expression softening ever so slightly as he looked down at his best friend.

"Again?"

Satoru looked up at him before letting his shoulders shake, tears cascading down his face as he nodded his head.

"*sigh* Alright, let's get you cleaned up"

"She's here," Nanami said to Gojo, now in his office.

"Really?" the latter perked up, rising from his seat.

"Yes but if I may ask, why are you so interested in her?"

"You know she shut down my flirting?"

"And this shocked you because?"

"When was the last time you remember me being rejected by someone?"

"You want to go there?" Nanami asked, smirking at Gojo who rolled his eyes.

"Just tell me where she is"

"Staff room, pretty sure she's getting breakfast, you should try it some time,"

"The staff room?"

"Breakfast,"

"Oh you're soo funny"

Satoru groaned before walking out of the office to go find you.

Who knows, maybe he'll get lucky today.

"Hey~" a deep voice whispered in your ear, making you jump in shock and turn around ready to kill whoever was behind you. Unfortunately, that happened to be your new boss.

"Oh, Mr. Gojo, how may I help you?"

"Not much just um... getting coffee."

"Ah, let me make you some then, how many sugars?"

"Five,"

"FIVE? What the hell, it's like you don't even want teeth."

"I guess not."

You looked at him in confusion before making him the coffee but putting 4 sugars instead of 5.

"So, there's a company dinner tonight for all the new staff, would love to see you there."

"Of course sir, now if you'll excuse me I have to get working."

"Please, go ahead"

"Yes sir," You said before bowing and walking away from him as fast as possible, who knows, maybe you will trip on your heels, twist an ankle and have to miss the dinner.

"Woah, woah, woah, and where are you going dressed like such a slut?" Toji asked, leaning on the frame of the bathroom door, looking you up and down while smirking.

For the dinner you chose to wear a light pink, knee length satin dress with a sweetheart neckline. You even straightened your hair and were finishing up on your makeup.

"Well if you MUST know, I'm going for a company dinner."

"Dresses like that? Might as well just go naked and take birth control. I call dibs on Godfather."

"Yeah yeah, you're just happy ‘cause ur going to be alone tonight."

"Says who? I'm going to be so busy I had to fill up on condoms."

"As if you'll use them." you snorted, walking past him to pick up your bag and leave.

"You look gorgeous by the way" He whispered, making you turn around and smile at him softly.

"Thank you"

"Uh huh, yeah now fuck off the strippers get here in ten, I don't need them seeing your weird ass, might think I'm cheating on them," He snorted, making you role your eyes and walk out of your shared apartment, wondering why you still put up with him.

You walked into the reserved room with a few of your colleagues, making the meeting complete. And you did your best to ignore the fact that your boss saved you the seat right beside him.

"Great! Now that we're all here and situated, I would like to raise a toast to all of you and to all our new employees, welcome you to Gojo industries. I look forward to working with all of you. Cheers"

And while everyone was toasting, you couldn't help but notice how Gojo's hand was shaking. You also looked at his face and noticed his pupils were dilated.

"Uhm, excuse me sir, are you okay?" you whispered once everyone had settled down and were immersed in their own conversations.

"Of course, why would you ask?

"Well, it's just that you're shaking, so I was slightly concerned."

"Ah, I didn't even notice, maybe I just need some fresh air, excuse me."

He rose from his seat and made his way out of the room, but you couldn't help but notice how his breathing had sped up slightly and his shoulders tensed. Kinda weird but then again he seemed like a pretty odd guy so you chose not to question it.

You were walking through the restaurant when you passed the back door and heard some heavy breathing. You slowly walked towards it and cracked the door open and shock cannot even begin to express the emotion you were experiencing at that moment.

There was your boss, squatting while leaning against the building wall. But what caused your surprise wasn’t just his heavy breathing. He was shaking so violently that even though you technically hated his guts you couldn't help but worry.

"Sir? A-are you ok?"

Instead of a response, his breathing quickened. He was...having a panic attack? What the...huh?

"Uhm sir, please calm down." you said in the softest tone you could muster, putting your bag down and trying to pat his back.

"Make it stop, please" you hear him croak, his voice sounded so soft, so weak, so...broken. You'd had your fair share of panic attacks but through the more recent half of them, you had Toji to be a shoulder to cry on so you know that being alone while suffering like this was hell. And because of this, you kneeled down and pulled him against you, wrapping your arms tightly around him and placing his head against your neck.

Once you did he began to sob so hard you were pretty sure it was ripping his throat raw. He grabbed your dress so hard he feared he would never be able to let go.

He didn’t want to let go. Not yet.

@porridgesblog

BOO! Two in one day?! who am I ?! That pole was absolutely useless wasn't it? also, am I picking up some toji x y/n?!

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arabellavernierwrites · 10 months

Note

For Spencer Reid x reader request (if u still want)

What about reader has to give a speech or something for the press (for some reason JJ couldn't, maybe it was meant for the unsub or something and reader fits his type or whatever) and she's like really nervous because she hates talking to such a large public. Spencer comforts her but when she stood in front of all those people she just frooze and got a meltdown. Just Spencer comforting reader (maybe autistic reader but doesn't have to) :)

Thank u in advance!

public speaking. s.r.

summary : in an especially difficult case , you are asked to hold a press conference. having to face your fear of public speaking , spencer helps encourage you. (could be read as platonic , as well as autistic reader if you like !)

word count : 2022

warnings : anxiety attack , overstimulation (could also be read as autistic overstimulation , i wanted to include themes of both), mentions of feeling sick (vomit) , extreme fear , descriptions of panic

a/n : hello guys ! oh my gosh thank you so much for sending in a request ! they are so much fun to do , and i am so grateful that you all like my work enough to want me to write something for you. it really means a lot to me. i’ve been really in the mood for writing lately , so i will be getting around to putting more out , so please send requests if you have any ! you guys have been so wonderful to me i really am so grateful for the treatment that i have received from you all , you are so sweet ! have an amazing incredibly wonderful day ! love you guys !

when jj left for maternity leave, you were more than happy to step in for her. a good friend and a good coworker, you wanted to make her proud.

you were great at your job, more organized and efficient than anyone at the bureau on most occasions. case files would fly in and out of your office on the daily, stacks forming and diminishing with each passing hour that you worked.

you were praised by your superiors often, making everyone’s taks easier for them with just how skilled of a liaison you were.

when it came to conferences, or communicating with large groups of press, you struggled. the idea of standing in front of dozens of bright, flashing cameras, men and women barking at you from all angles with questions and accusations, and having to make sure you speak to the public in a matter that satisfies them, all while not revealing more than allowed, petrified you.

your body shook at the possibility of getting tongue-tied in front of everyone, messing up, tripping over your words, or misspeaking and costing yourself a career. the very thought of walking up to a podium to make an announcement for a case detrimental to someone’s livelihood made you freeze up and panic.

when jj had returned, your mind was at peace knowing that you weren’t going to have to hold down vomit in front of a meeting hall of untamed journalists again. or so you thought.

“look, i know that this isn’t ideal. but you fit the type that this guy is after,” jj spoke sincerely, “i talked with hotch, and we both agree that we think that it’s best if you hold the conference. it may draw him out”.

all oxygen had left your body. an icy chill shuttered down the length of your spine, your fingers and toes falling numb. the way the hairs stood on the back of your neck was sickening, making you feel like prey being hunted for sport.

“jj, i-” you started, preparing yourself to turn her down in a professional manner.

“trust me, i know how scary it is,” she stroked your arm, “but if we don’t do this now, this case is just gonna drag on and we are going to continue to lose more people”.

weeks into a gruesome case, everyone was exhausted and worn thin. you all wanted to put a criminal behind bars and return everyone home safely, but you felt miles away from that possibility.

the police station you had been working at was overflowing with officers, everyone flying in and out of rooms, falling all over each other with stacks of paper and coffee cups in hand, anxious to get this case solved.

“okay,” your hands shook, “i’ll do it”.

you and jj spoke for hours. she coached you on what to say, how to act, and what to do if things went awry. you two wrote and rewrote outlines for your very public announcement.

what was supposed to make you feel more prepared for the meeting later, ended up sinking fear and doubt deeper into your skin.

the team was waiting in an empty classroom at the local elementary school. heat radiated through the windows under the mercy of the summer sun, journalists and reporters flooded into the gymnasium in hopes to get a seat to witness the fbi’s latest statement.

you sat on one of the desks in the small, uncomfortably warm classroom. your mind was racing, your heart beating in competition to keep up with it. you tried to breathe deep, to fill your lungs with confidence and release the doubt that plagued your thoughts. but the more you inhaled and exhaled, the more you found yourself coming up short of breath.

the thick air of the classroom laced itself around you, pulling itself tighter until it suffocated you. beads of sweat threatened to form on your forehead as you felt your vision tunneling. you hopped up off the desk, shaking your hands out as you hurried into the empty hallway.

the sound of your heels clacking on the floor reverberated off the walls as you paced. the pattern on the linoleum was dizzying as it moved beneath your feet.

“are you alright?”

your head turned. spencer approached you from the end of the hallway, his tall, lean figure highlighted by the obnoxiously fluorescent lights above you.

“spencer, what do i do?” your voice teetered on cracking as you slid down the wall next to you, your back brushing against the lockers as you pressed your face to your knees.

“may i ask what you’re afraid of?” he spoke genuinely, taking a seat next to you.

“i’m afraid of messing up and saying something stupid, or forgetting what i’m supposed to say and sounding stupid,” you ran your fingers through your hair, gently tugging at the roots, “i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting another young woman killed. i’m afraid of this guy coming after me. i’m afraid someone is gonna ask a question i have no idea how to answer. i’m afraid of freaking out and embarrassing myself in front of all of those people”.

“hey, he’s not gonna go after you,” spencer stopped you from pulling at your scalp, “and you’ll do great. you know more about this case than anyone else, you’ve been reciting information about it to the precinct for weeks. you shouldn’t worry about stumbling over a word, you’re an eloquent speaker. and if this does add another victim to our board, you know it won’t be your fault”.

you lifted your head to look at spencer, your hands still in his. his big, brown eyes bore into yours. a painting of worry, and sickening sweetness, framed his face. care and kindness poured from his soul in a way that almost made you nauseous to think about.

you groaned, throwing your head back against the lockers behind you, “stop making me believe in myself. it’s corny”.

spencer laughed, feigning disbelief, “i just gave you an uplifting speech!”

a door at the end of the hallway creaked open, hotch peaked his head out and called to you, “it’s time for you to go”.

you pressed your forehead to spencer’s shoulder, “you’re sure i’ve got this?”

he smiled, “i’m sure”.

“thank you,” you sighed deeply, “i feel like i’m gonna throw up all over your shoes”.

“come on,” spencer stood up, reaching his hands out to pull you to your feet, “we’ll walk you in there”.

the elementary school gym was filled to the brim, guests overflowing through the doors into the parking lot. loud chatter occupied the space, the air buzzing with heat and anticipation.

you took a deep breath, entering the double doors to stand behind the podium.

shouts erupted from the audience. people struggling to refrain from jumping out of their seats, cameras flashing, shuttering, spewing clacking sounds that mocked their owner. the already loud room grew with noise, voices climbing up walls and swinging from the ceiling, pummeling your sensitive eardrums.

a wave of cold rushed over you, your body tensing as you stood behind the small black microphone. a small yelp of feedback echoed as you placed your hands on the sealed wood of the podium. you tried to control the fear in your eyes, needing to put a mask of professionalism on in front of a crowd of animals.

“good afternoon,” you started, “as of 5:00pm today, we are still looking for the subject that has committed these heinous acts”.

the crowd erupted once again. insults were thrown at you, and you wouldn’t be surprised if chairs were to join that mix soon.

“we have been utilizing every force of manpower we have for several weeks now. our officers are spread thin, but we are working overtime to make sure this we can get this case closed and bring everyone home safely,” your hands were shaking in front of you. a sense of false confidence had gotten you this far, but as the atmosphere of the gymnasium started to sink in, your breath caught up with you.

“we have no further updates at this time,” you cleared your throat, trying to remain unbothered by the incessant yelling and flashing lights, “but we are continuing our search”.

a queasy feeling started to overtake you as the volume of the crowd became unbearable. shouts became deafening, camera clicks echoed the kickback of a gun, and you had to blink to make sure the walls weren’t actually closing in around you.

you knew that your silence had gone on for too long now, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a tightening rope around your neck. your mind went blank in a white, hot explosion of panic.

“we,” you tried to breathe deep, but it came out sounding more like a hiccup, “we will not be taking”.

you cleared your throat again, feeling like the floor had just opened up beneath you, “we will not be taking any questions at this time”.

you rushed yourself off of the stage, bursting through the double doors again, pulling at the ends of your hair as you choked on hot tears.

the fabric of your blouse fluttered at the pace of the rising and falling of your chest. you unbuttoned it slightly, tearing off your blazer as you practically fell into the nearest classroom.

your ears burned, your face burned, everything burned and stung and started to shut down as you stumbled your way through the room, catching yourself on a desk.

you hunched over, panting, trying to pull your mind from the depths of the sea of thoughts it was drowning in, but no amount of deep breathing was going to keep it afloat.

“hey,” spencer hurried in after you, running over to hold you up, “are you okay?”

“i screwed up,” you gasped, his touch the only thing reminding you you’re still alive.

“breathe,” he ordered, turning to face you, “breathe with me”.

you gripped his forearms tightly, locking eyes. he was worried, but his gaze remained calm, grounded here with you. he slowly breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, keeping a steady pace that didn’t feel as much like a wild animal thrashing around as before.

the room around you began to return, no longer as dark and blurry as before. you felt real in your skin again, the sensation of spencer’s pulse beneath your fingertips gluing you in reality. the fear of looming unconsciousness escaped you as oxygen filled your lungs once again.

as you came back to yourself, the guilt and embarrassment set in. you fought the tears welling in your eyes.

“i messed up, spencer,” you choked back a whine, looking to the floor in shame.

“it really wasn’t as bad as you think,” spencer leaned in, pulling you to his chest, gently, “towards the end you froze up a little, but i don’t think anyone would have noticed”.

“i forgot like half of what jj instructed me to say,” you sniffled, “that girl could die because i didn’t inform the public of necessary information”.

spencer ran his fingers through your hair, “you told the public all the information that could be potentially helpful. there’s not all that much we can go on, and that’s not your fault”.

you swore under your breath, feeling yourself breaking in his arms, “i feel awful”.

the tears flowed as fast as they came, hot and ugly and full of embarrassment.

spencer’s hand rubbed soft circles on your back, “i don’t want to tell you how to feel, but it shouldn’t be awful. regardless of how you think you did, i’m proud of you for getting up there and doing it. so, please, don’t beat yourself up over it”.

“we both know that’s a promise i can’t keep,” you tearfully chuckled, looking up at spencer, “thank you. for those few seconds that i felt like i stood a chance, that confidence came from you”.

“so my uplifting speech was uplifting?” he asked, smiling bashfully.

you jokingly smacked his chest, “i guess you could say that”.

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jaxypaxyhaxy · 8 months

Text

So I’m gunna word vomit and “I hope somebody is listening” (lol) but I have an idea for a scene that I’m desperately wanting in season 3 that wasn’t even in the books and I can’t stop thinking about it so I need to put it out into the universe.

So I have this idea for a scene in season 3 of heartstopper between Tori and Nick. I imagine it being an early episode where nick and Charlie are having a usual movie night, and then Nick goes to make popcorn and finds Tori in the kitchen getting a glass of diet lemonade. I can imagine Nick getting a bit worried (visible on his face) and he’s nervously asks Tori about the time when Charlie was getting bullied. She gets a bit nervous and hesitant but tells him. I really think this would be an amazing way to incorporate some book elements like some of the things mentioned in solitaire and this winter about Charlies mental health, and an adorable, gut wrenching, heartstopping (get it) Scene. (Ex. Tori talks about the note with a cake on it, how she found him, and how she stayed in the hospital waiting room for 3 days for him)

Tiny details I can visibly imagine in the scene

- Tori wearing a hoodie and playing with her sleeve the same way Charlie did in Paris with Nick after the Louvre

- Nick cuts of Tori at some point by hugging her (she doesn’t necessarily hug back but she doesn’t reject it at all)

- as Nick is walking to the kitchen he pulls out his phone and looks at some of his notes on EDs like in the book when he’s initially researching them

- if it’s after she’s cut her hair nick says I’m the beginning of the conversation “I like your hair” (Tori could even say smth like “it looks the same like she said to Charlie in S1 (Nick would giggle and just say “we’ll it still looks good” or smth) but it depends on the seasons timeline)

- she mentions the cake note like she did to Lucas ( slightly sounding like she’s joking but crying visibly harder )

- the scene could end with the popcorn being done, Charlie hearing the mictowave beep loudly over and over and coming down to check on Nick, he’s like “what’s up” nick just says it’s nothing (tori slips out quickly to hide that she was crying)

- and just something else I feel like Tori would evolve from hesitant to slightly hysterical as she continues talking ( because she’s never said this out loud to anyone before ) but her volume stays low and doesn’t increase as she continues (voice mostly stable with small cracks and a tad shaky)

- music less scene like the last one in HS s2

@chronicintrovert Idek what this is but I think it would bring a bunch of book details in, as well as be the introduction to what will inevitably be a very very hard and sad season 🥲🥲 (that doesn’t mean I’m not sitting on the edge of my seat excited for it to come out lol)

Alr I’m done rambling thanks for reading if u got this far.

#heartstopper #solitaire #tori and michael #tori spring #alice oseman #heartstopper comic #this winter #charlie spring #nick x charlie #nick nelson #calling all heartstopper fans #heartstopper series #heartstopper season 2 #heartstopper s2 #nick and charlie #victoria spring #micheal holden

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zyonsay · 4 months

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hi z!!

could you please do a lando request??

the reader is afab and they’re pronouns are they/he and maybe he (the reader) is just having a bad day because, first of all they just woke up in a crappy mood because they’re feeling dysphoric (and i know i get cranky like hell when this happens) and then they see hate comments like purposely misgendering the reader in lando’s comment section!!

and then lando both kinda goes off on twitter about it, while comforting reader just talking about how he’s the best boyfriend/partner

(that’s all i have take it from here😭😭)

btw you’re one of the few writers that i know off that do male!readers

OH and i saw how it said to say if the afab/amab is a big thing, so YES him being a afab is a big deal to the story!!

LOVE YOU POOKIE💗💗

Love you, no matter what LN4

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: Dysphoria sucks ass

Warnings: Queerphobia, Slurs: Tr@nny/f@g

Now playing: 'Blonde Chaya sped up' by Amaru & Gringo Bamba

AN: Hey there pookie! Thank you so much for this request!! I also get cranky asf when im dysphoric. ok well admittedly, im always cranky . But anyways! I made some teeny tiny changes and i hope that's alright! Love you!

Fun Fact of the day: My biology teacher is a skinwalker

(i'll rage if there isn't a brit shaped present under the tree by the 24th)

A loud, irritated groan left your figure as you fought with nothing in particular. That was a lie. You fought with yourself right now.

The t shirt clung to your figure because of the cold sweat you woke up in and your hair was an absolute mess. The spot next to you on the bed was empty, you knew that your most loved one was probably on a stream.

Scrambling from the bed you passed the long mirror on the bedroom wall; another irritated huff left you. That feeling of being trapped in the wrong body snaked up your leg and pierced you right in your heart. Maybe a cup of hot tea or coffee will cheer you up.

You passed the office, hearing a loud groan from withing, followed by your boyfriend’s voice, explaining how unfair it was for him to get shot ten seconds after joining the game.

The water boiler hummed loudly as you sat on the barstool by the kitchen island, slumped over like a sad little bag of potatoes. You also felt like one. Yet another groan erupted from the office, making you think of something. Quickly fetching your phone from the pockets of your shorts, you opened Whatsapp and sent Lando a quick text. It was almost comical how you could hear him talk to his audience about you.

“My lovely boyfriend just asked if I wanted some tea!”, he giggled like a giddy child. Brits and their tea. He sent you a text back, telling you he’ll be in the kitchen in a few minutes, he just wanted to wrap the stream up.

Then his eyes landed on a username consisting of various numbers and letters. ‘Ew bro, you still dating that f@g? Thought u moved on lolz’ The blood in his veins froze and he felt the anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. Another one popped up, this time from a different viewer. ‘OMG WAIT is it that Tr@nny he once showed lmao, Lan you can do better smh’ And with that a stream of vile words erupted as the strangers on the other side of the screen began vomiting senseless hate. ‘No fucking way. I bet y’all a million bucks that I’d be a less embarrassing wag lol’

What he had missed in this mess of hate comments was that ‘y/n.02’ had joined the stream and saw the hateful words through teary eyes. You clutched your phone with a desperate grip as you sobbed.

“Y’all need to fucking grow up and accept it. I love my boyfriend.” was all he said before swiftly clicking ‘end stream’ and rushing out of the office. He found you with glistening tears streaming down your face and a red, sniffling nose. Immediately, Lando threw his arms around you, pulling you up from the barstool and into a tight hug. “Don’t listen to them darling”, his voice was sweet and almost as quiet as the breath you let out after that. His T shirt was soaked with your tears, but he couldn’t care less. “I love you so fucking much. And nothing can change that. You’re the best damn thing that happened to me.”, his big, gentle hands rubbed your back and traced patterns over your t shirt.

Lando pulled away and looked you intently in the eyes. He closed the distance between you two and embraced you in a sweet, loving kiss.

“Let’s drink some tea baby.”, Brits and their fucking tea.

#I hate men (romantically)#i need him biblically #gay #male reader #f1 x male reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #gn reader #reader insert #x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris #f1 fic #f1 imagine #afab reader #ZyonsRequests

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saturnznct · 1 year

Text

getting ready | ldh

➸ request from anon; sorry i just managed to see ur masterlist which you have already done that request i just sent😆 i will read! but could you instead write reader wearing dresses on and her bump getting bigger and husband haechan telling her constantly how in awe he is whilst reader is pregnant? complimenting and telling her how beautiful she looks and maybe even joking how he doesn't mind making another baby right now haha your page is godsend btw im so happy to have come across 💚

➸ note; hehe thank you angel i appreciate it so much! hope u like this <3

➸ word count; 526 words

➸ sunhee; in the womb lol

➸ warning(s); quite suggestive, issues with body image? brief vomit mention

nct masterlist

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

‘Oh wow,’ Donghyuck makes you jump as he appears in the doorway.

‘Stop, you scared me,’ you whine, ‘could’ve put me in early labour.’

‘Sorry,’ he grins, ‘you just look gorgeous.’

The four, nearly five of you had recently moved back to Jeju in preparation for the birth of your final child, the gender of which you had decided to leave a surprise. Your house in Jeju is beautiful, you’ve had it for a number of years now. It’s close enough in-land to be close to your in-laws, but far enough out that the seaside is not too long of a drive away. It was such a difference from Seoul, the air infinitely cleaner and life more slow-paced and relaxed. Rather than spending your evenings listening to cars honking, opening your curtains to see the grey smokey air, you hear seagulls and can see the ocean from your windows. Your move made infinitely more time for your family to spend time together, especially in the run up to welcoming your baby. Now that the weather was warming up, you would spend a lot of time outside, going on picnics or walks on the beach.

You were currently getting ready for one of these outings, going for an evening dinner at an outdoor seafood restaurant you frequented.

Not much fit you these days, so you opted for a flowing maternity dress that reached just above your ankles. You’d worn minimal makeup, figuring you would sweat most of it off walking around in the heat. You felt huge, feet and ankles all swollen and sore, the size of your baby putting pressure on all of your organs, making it painful to move around sometimes. Yet Donghyuck was still so enamoured with you, taking every opportunity to dote on you and your body.

‘You look so beautiful,’ he approached you from behind, wrapping his arms around you in a back hug, ‘my beautiful glowing wife.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ you fidget with your dangling earrings, attempting to brush him off, but he reminds persistent.

‘Don’t argue with me,’ he whines, ‘you’re stunning, gorgeous.’

‘I don’t feel it,’ you laugh dryly, ‘but thank you Hyuck.’

‘Well, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me,’ he kisses your neck, ‘especially when you’re carrying my baby. In fact, why don’t we make another one after you pop this one out?’

‘Donghyuck!’ You slap his arm, ’there is no way.’

‘Pretty please,’ he whines, ‘wanna put another baby in you.’

‘Donghyuck! No more babies after this one, like we planned.’

He huffs, knowing you’re right, ‘spoilsport.’

‘Whatever,’ you roll your eyes, reaching up and pinching his cheek, ‘you’ll change your mind once the baby’s here and crying and throwing up constantly, and the kids get jealous and start acting up.’

‘True,’ he shrugs, ‘but it’s worth it to see you like this.’

‘Daddy,’ your children call from down the hall, ‘are we going yet?’

‘We’re coming!’ Donghyuck calls back, before kissing your cheek firmly, ‘come on, lets go get dinner. And then, when we get home, we can have dessert.’

‘Whatever, Donghyuck,’ you laugh, knowing he will definitely follow up on his plans.

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crimsonji · 1 year

Note

*slides into your asks* KAZ KAZ KAZ!!! HIIII!! I SAW YOU TAKING REQUESTS FOR SCARA??? Well I have a crack-ish idea xD could i request him together with a very oblivious crush? I want to see him pulling his hair out in frustration at when the reader can't read the room or like:

“where u flirting with me?"

“idiot. Ive been trying to do so for months.”

-kinda vibes 😂😂😂 tho dont force yourself if u cant write these~ I understand SO HAVE A GOOD DAY AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELD UEUEUEUE!! ILY /p

- Jade 👻

୨୧ wanderer has a crush but reader is oblivious

ft. wanderer x gn!reader

cw: fluff, wrote this in 40 mins brainrotting lmao, wanderer calls you stupid, gave up on formatting bcus IM TIRED

>> 🍁 kazuha’s musings : augh I cannot will myself to draw rn so this is like the perfect ask I can use to word vomit. anyways YES OBLIVIOUS X OBV INTO THEM IS MY FAVOURITE THING EVER.

Wanderer has already signed his death wish once he accidentally fell head over heels for you, and it’s so frustrating how every single thing you do is so breathtaking to him—and he doesn’t even have a breath to begin with.

He’s so torn up about his feelings, a part of him wants to know how you feel about him, if you also stay up on cold nights wondering how your warm hand would feel against his cold skin, or the events of his travels with you replaying in his mind until he ultimately falls asleep.

Maybe he’ll never know that, because unfortunately for Wanderer, you’re the biggest idiot he’s ever met in his life. When the wanderer had accepted his newfound feelings for you, the only way he knew to react was to treat you with a meaner attitude. Yet his mannerisms were different—maybe even caring at times?

He has a habit of insulting people due to his huge superiority complex, but Wanderer just insults you whenever you do anything he finds attractive. Like, “Why are you smiling so much? It looks stupid on you.” or “What, are you just so happy to be in the presence of a creation the equivalent of a god? Wh— you are? …Shut up already, lowly human.”

His mean comments tread on the line of flirtatious overtime, and he grimaces whenever you just brush it off as his usual bitter personality. He’s weirdly good at finding back-handed ways to compliment you, “Your cooking tastes good, I bet I could do better, though.” and it pisses him off when you give him the same oblivious look every time—you idiot, when will you realize he adores every single thing about you?! Not like he’s been very apparent himself, though…

One time the Wanderer had picked some flowers and almost shyly handed you to them, anxiously waiting for your reaction as he held out the Sumeru roses in front of you “Hey, you like flowers, right? …Since you’ve done so much for me, here… ?! Why are you just gawking at me like that—? Take it already or I’m throwing them away.” Yet your response made the Wanderer want to dissolve right then and there, smiling and taking the bouquet from his hands, Wanderer nearly shivering at the faint contact of your fingertips against his.

“Thank you, Wanderer.”

“…Idiot.”

Oh archons, Wanderer’s really dug himself into a hole. And what’s even more frustrating is that you don’t even see any romantic intentions in the random flowers he gives you, something that had became a daily occurrence. But no way in hell was Wanderer gonna swallow his pride and straight up TELL you he likes you, he’d rather die than do that.

Tbh the progression of how much more romantic or affectionate his actions become is almost depressing to see, the only thing Wanderer receiving is a tilt of the head and a cute smile—not like that wasn’t enough of a reward for him, anyway, but those stupid horribly enchanting eyes of yours gave away how dense you were being to his feelings!!!!

At some point all of this has just been bubbling up under the surface of his chest, so on one fateful night, some of the Wanderer’s feelings finally slip past his lips. You had set up a campsite for the night, the calm fire that gurgled and popped emitting a kind warmth and light that perfectly reflected off your features—you looked really pretty right now, you always did. These thoughts regularly came to Wanderer’s mind, and he used to adamantly push them away, but he’s long accepted this horrible thing called ‘affection’— so these bubbling thoughts continued to drift and be pondered upon his mind.

“…You’re pretty.” he whispers

He watches you perk your head, turning to the man with wide-eyes from where he sat a reasonable distance away from you. “Huh?”

Wanderer scoffed, repeating himself louder this time “I said—you’re pretty.”

You paused, lips parted but the words fell dead on your tongue. He narrowed his eyes at you, he wasn’t gonna confess, not today, but he’s sick of seeing that dumb look on your face all the time.

“…Thank you?” he only grimaced more at your usual response.

“You know what I mean when I say that, right?”

You shook your head “Not really, but I’m glad that you don’t hate me as much as you used to.”

Now it was his turn to pause, that same dumbfounded look now on his face. Since when did you think he hated you? “Idiot, who said I hated you? I’m the same level as an omnipotent god, I could have discarded you a long time ago… and besides…”

“Besides what?”

The Wanderer bit his lip, why is he hesitating? Is he scared? No, no, that can’t be, you’re just a lowly human, is all, a beautifully wonderful human… “You’re, well, not horrible to talk to, and even if you act stupid sometimes I—

—I guess that’s what makes me so attracted to you.”

…

“Are you flirting with me?”

Holy shit. A part of Wanderer just wanted to take back everything he just said from how dumb you sounded, but holy shit! You noticed, finally. He couldn’t help the wide smirk when he got a taste of what you looked like when you were blushing, the red tint blooming across your cheeks. He chuckled, leisurely crossing his leg over and folding his arms smugly;

“Have been for the past few months, but thanks for noticing.”

#[🍁] kazuha's haiku collection #[💌] letters of songbird #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #wanderer genshin #wanderer x reader #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin

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explorevenus · 1 year

Text

something permanent ♡ yandere!leon kennedy x reader

nsfw (18+) - minors pls dni i will scream

this is a dark fic for a multitude of reasons. if any of the following bothers/triggers you, do not read: yandere!leon, stalking, kidnapping, drugging, corruption/training, forced daddy kink, noncon, forced breeding, body horror, gore, & blood

in other words-- DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT.

ahem. now that that’s over.

word count - 4.4k

description - nothing in leon’s life was ever permanent and his life circumstances made sure of that. over the years he was beaten down from a bright-eyed rookie police officer to a weary and angry shell of his former self. when a chance meeting brought you into his life, he knew what he had to do. he knew you had to be something permanent.

tags/warnings - yandere!leon, dark!leon, leon being patronizing and condescending and sickly sweet, fem/afab!reader, stalking, kidnapping, drugging, corruption/training, forced daddy kink, pet names (doll, sweetheart, princess,��baby, puppy, etc.), noncon, forced breeding, housewife kink, body horror (spoiler alert he rips your IUD out with his bare hands), slight gore, blood, noncon, stockholm syndrome if u squint, dollification if u squint, descriptions of vomiting, no use of (Y/N)

a/n - ok i genuinely don’t know if anyone even wants this but i personally find it egregious how little yandere!leon content exists out there in this world because listen. i know a lot of people consider leon submissive and breedable but personally i believe this broken angry man just wants a sweet little thing to dote on and take care of to make him forget about the horrors of his life and he will stop at nothing to make that happen ♡ anyways. enjoy. and if it’s not ur cup of tea idc keep scrolling :^)

p.s. this is obviously a very canon-deviant, borderline crack fic so it’s not really established which leon this is outside of referring to the events of re2 being a long time ago, so go wild with your interpretation of that to read this as whichever leon is ur favorite ♡ i personally like to imagine post-re4 or infinite darkness leon !! ;w;

read part 2 here !! ♡

my masterlist ♡

my ao3 ♡

fic under the cut, thanks so much for reading and i hope u enjoy ♡

-venus ♡

You were slow to wake, which wasn't particularly unusual... as of late, but your body felt so heavy, like your muscles had dissolved into mush overnight. Consciousness gradually took its hold of you, and as it did, you began to realize that something seemed off. Different. Wrong, even. You peeked your eyes open, vision blurry with sleep, but you could see you were beneath your pink comforter, a plush of yours held closely to your chest, all normal so far...

But your walls aren't navy blue, they're white... They're supposed to be white--

You jolted wide awake, panic coursing through your weak body as you struggled to even sit up. That's when you noticed an unfamiliar, muscular arm draped over your waist, and that dialed up your anxiety about tenfold. It was hard to move, but you were able to turn your head enough to catch a look at the man it belonged to.

Strong, blond, maybe a bit tired in the eyes... maybe a bit familiar looking... but you were crying now, blurring your sight all over again.

"Shh, shh... you're okay, sweetheart, you're safe now," He hushed, holding you closely to him as you struggled. Smooching the top of your head, he spoke into your messy hair, "I've got you. I've got you, princess."

But... how? The last thing you remembered was tucking into your own bed, in your own apartment, and falling asleep there, how could you have possibly wound up in a stranger's bed with zero recollection of ever leaving yours? Your head spun as you tried and failed to fend off the unwanted affection with weak arms. His hold on you didn't dare budge as he continued to coo softly into your ear, to reassure you that you were safe, that he wouldn't let anyone, or anything, hurt you.

The anxiety stewing within you finally reached a tipping point, twisting your stomach into tight knots, and that's when you spoke your first words since you'd awoken. "I-I'm gonna throw up," You wept, clawing weakly at the covers and, well, at him, for freedom.

Thankfully he was quick to act, scooping you into his arms as he sat up and rose from the bed, carrying you to the adjoined bathroom. When he turned the light on, you managed to get a better look at his face as you passed by the mirror, and it took you a second to recognize him, partly due to your state of delirium, but primarily because you only knew him very vaguely. You had only met him once at work many months ago, when he'd sparked up a conversation with you as you made him his coffee. After that, he became a regular at the café you worked at-- you remembered his name was Leon.

So why were you waking up in his bed, with your belongings lying around like you'd lived here the whole time?

Your knees hit the tile and you began retching immediately, flinching as he reached forward to collect your hair away from your face. Puking on an empty stomach is never a fun time, but your nerves were alight with panic and every time you reminded yourself of your predicament, a new wave of nausea would crash over you. He rubbed your back sweetly, but it didn't help.

Once the vomiting eventually subsided, an awful, hollow pain took place of it. Your thoughts were running at a thousand miles per hour. You didn't have the time to acknowledge it, let alone nurse it, outside of clutching your shirt at the waist.

"Let me get you some water, babe," Leon said as he hesitantly stood from your side, eyeing you worriedly like you'd just fall to pieces if he let you out of his sight. "You poor thing..."

But all you could think about was getting out of here. "N-No, no, what time is it? I have to get to work--"

"I don't think so, sweetheart," He interrupted. "You're sick, you should be in bed."

"I'm fine," Much to the protest of your jellied legs, you pushed yourself up from the floor and fought through the head rush in an attempt to slip past him, but he simply caught you at the waist and brought you to a halt. Your ears were ringing, the room spinning around you, and you still weren't sure how to interpret what was even going on here. "L-Let go of me!" You cried out.

He simply hushed you, holding you tightly to his chest and petting your hair as you writhed, failing miserably to get him off of you. "Don't worry about work, okay? Just rest up and get better. I'll call them for you."

Your stomach sank even further-- what the fuck is happening right now?

Despite your thrashing he managed to lead you back to the bed as gently as one would fine china, scooping you up into his arms so he could lay you down exactly where you'd awoken earlier. Your chest heaved with sobs as you shrank into yourself in an effort to get away from him.

His eyes left you for just a moment as he reached for the covers, no doubt to tuck you in-- in a split second decision, you seized that time to scramble out of his bed and break for the door. Sadly, as perhaps you should have seen coming, he was more than strong and fast enough to catch up to you, even caught off guard. As soon as your shaking hand made contact with the cool metal doorknob, he halted you where you stood with a bruising grip on your bicep.

You cried out, trying in vain to peel yourself away from him, but it was no use.

"Come on, silly baby, you heard me," He tsked, dragging you back toward the bed. "No need to be running off anywhere, especially on a sour stomach."

"P-Please--" You gasped through tears.

"I'm sorry, little one, but that's final," Leon hummed with a patronizing but oddly sweet tone. It was as if he were scolding a temperamental child.

He basically wrestled you back into the bed, enveloping you tightly in his arms as he laid down beside you. You struggled against his grasp, but again, it was absolutely no use. He simply pet your hair and pressed soft kisses along your cheek and jaw, attempting to soothe you with restraint and unwanted affection.

You sucked in a labored breath, hiccupping, "Don't do this to me, please don't do this to me... I-I just wa-wanna go home, jus' wanna go h-home... Leon please--"

"Shh... oh, good heavens. You are home, princess," He mused, brushing away a stream of your hot tears with his thumb. "You'll see. Just relax and let me take care of you."

Nothing in Leon's life was ever permanent.

All he'd ever wanted was the American dream, to serve his community and meet a pretty girl to share his life with, to settle down in a big house with a fenced yard and two or three little Kennedys running around, maybe a dog. What he wouldn't give to come home at the end of a long day to his beautiful wife, belly swollen with his children, preparing dinner in the kitchen while the existing little ones play with their toys in the other room.

He would enter, slipping off his shoes with a relaxed sigh and a "Honey, I'm home!" to which the aforementioned little ones would rush to the door to hug him at his knees. He'd put one up on his shoulders while the other tugged at his hand, turning into the kitchen to give his beautiful wife a kiss. She would ask of his day and he would say it was good, but better now that he's home with her. With his free hand he would cradle her belly and ask "What's for dinner, you two?" to which she would reply "Your favorite," and as he smiled and thanked her with a kiss he would be silently plotting to thank her properly after the kids are asleep by fucking her full of his cum.

That was all he'd ever wanted. But, day after day after god forsaken day, the chance grew slimmer and slimmer until it had shriveled into something molecular. He didn't even get through his first day at the police station before everything went to shit.

Because of this, Leon began to lose himself over the years. He was no longer the bright-eyed rookie officer looking forward to his even brighter future. He was a broken man, worn down to the bone by years of death, plague, losing everyone he'd ever loved in one way or another-- Leon couldn't take the loss anymore. He wanted-- no, needed-- something permanent, something to give him even the slightest taste of that dream he once had.

When he met you, it wasn't even a question anymore. He knew you were the one. One way or another, he would have you.

He couldn't court you in the traditional way, of course-- it was too dangerous for you to be seen with him. After all, everything he'd ever touched had a way of turning to shit. So, it began with following you home after work so he'd know where you lived. Soon after that he would let himself in when you weren't home-- you weren't smart enough not to keep your key under the mat, furthering how sure he felt that you needed him to take care of you-- he would take little things of yours home with him just to have your scent around.

At first it was just little things like near-empty bottles of shampoo and stray pairs of panties from your laundry basket. Then it was sweaters from your closet, chewed gum and used flossers from your trash can. He'd pay close attention to your grocery lists and what you kept in your pantry so he'd know what kind of food you liked.

When you did come home, he would sneak out quietly and watch you through your windows, familiarizing himself with your routine. The first thing you'd do when you came home from a long day of work was kick off your heels and change into something comfortable to do your yoga. After a while, you'd pull yourself up from the pink mat and cook dinner. After you'd eat, you'd relax with a book or a video game for a bit before taking a shower and changing into pajamas. Then, you'd brew yourself a mug of tea and retire to the bedroom for the evening where you'd watch documentaries or put on white noise until you eventually fell asleep.

At 7:00 a.m., you'd wake up in the morning and do it all over again.

All he could think about was what he'd do when he finally had you all to himself. Under his roof, you would never have to work another day in your life. Gone would be the days of pouring coffee and baking pastries for random idiots who treated you like shit. All you would ever have to worry about is being pampered, having your entire day to yourself, waiting for him to come home, spending all the money on his credit cards.

And carrying his children, of course.

So, as he held you tightly in his arms while you sobbed and begged to go back to that tiny apartment, all he could think about now was how to fix this. How to convince you he really loved you, how to make you feel truly at home.

The first few weeks were hard for him. Really, really hard.

You were refusing to eat, laying wide awake at night, swinging rapidly between sobbing, screaming and complete apathy. Sometimes he would come into the bedroom and catch you fiddling with the window, or attempting to circumvent the lock on the door by stuffing the mechanism with tissue. You would hit him, kick at him and spit in his face, even as you grew weaker and weaker with malnourishment, not that you really stood a chance before that anyway.

Still, it was hard to watch you shrink in your clothes. It was hard to see your cheeks hollowing by the day. It was hard to hold back your brittle hair while you'd vomit from the nerves, still trying to fight him off of you. It was hard to watch your body tense every time he entered the room.

Just when he'd began to lose hope, he discovered a neat little tool to help you behave. In some countries it was called "devil's breath." The slightest bit of powder could be sprinkled into your water, or over your food, or even into your clothes-- it absorbs through the skin-- and within minutes it would render you quite pliable. Leon didn't want to drug you, of course-- he liked you better when you were lucid-- but it certainly felt like a good place to start, a helpful tool to train you.

When he'd give you a dose, you would let him coddle you without incident. You would lay limp on his chest while he played with your hair and felt your soft skin beneath your shirt. You would allow him to spoon food or tip water into your mouth. You would let him dress you up like his perfect little dolly. You would blush and whimper and whine, and more importantly, not fight him, while he fucked you full of his cum, just like his dream.

There was just one problem-- after about two months of trying daily, it would seem his seed wasn't taking.

Your heart pounded in your ears as the sound of Leon's footsteps nearing the bedroom door grew louder. You glanced over at the clock-- it was 6:15. He was off work for the evening and you knew what that meant.

The lock clicked quietly before the door creaked open, revealing your captor.

"Honey, I'm home!" He smiled excitedly, approaching the bed with a glass of water in hand.

You knew it was for you. You knew he had done something to it. You also knew you didn't intend to drink it.

"W-Welcome home, daddy," You said in a near whisper, forcing a half-smile. While you had definitely lost the majority of the fight in you, that didn't mean it didn't nauseate you to comply with his wishes. "Did you have a good day?"

Tucking your hair behind your ear, he offered you the glass of water while he replied as he always did, "My day was fine, but it's so much better now that I'm home with you, princess."

You smiled at him like it was the first time he'd ever said it, taking the glass with a shaking hand. You stared at it for a moment before mustering up the courage to say, "D-Daddy, I don't want the medicine anymore. I don't think I need it, and it doesn't make me feel good."

"You don't want your medicine anymore, baby?" He asked, tipping your chin up to look at him. You shook your head, rounding your eyes to convince him that much more. "Well, alright, but you have to promise to behave for me."

Now you were nodding, a little bit too eagerly. It was sort of humiliating. "I promise, daddy, I'll behave! I don't want the medicine anymore. I promise I'll be good."

With a proud grin he took the glass from your hand and set it on the nightstand, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "That's what I like to hear, babydoll. You know, good little girls get rewarded..." His large hand spread over your thigh, inching up toward the hem of your baggy shirt.

You stiffened, but didn't push him away. He smirked, dipping his head down to kiss at your neck, large hand sliding up your shirt until he nudged it up enough to pull it off. You were bare for him now, save for panties, and given your experience with him you knew it wouldn't be long until those were discarded somewhere across the room. With a gentle hand at your shoulder he pushed you onto your back, your legs hanging off the side of the bed, and you were curious where he was going with that until he sank to his knees in front of you and began pulling your panties down.

Your eyes screwed shut, thankful that he couldn't see your face as he spread your thighs and greeted your cunt with a slow lick up the length of you. You gripped the sheets with white knuckles, pretty much holding your breath to keep yourself from kicking him away from you. His fingertips buried into the plush skin of your thighs to hold you apart as he began to eat you out more passionately, suckling your clit up into his mouth and lapping at your hole like he was starving.

If there was one thing you would give him credit for, it would be his skilled tongue. Perhaps he was crazy and obsessed, but he certainly knew how to translate that obsession into something that benefitted you both. You wouldn't have succumbed to it so willingly if he weren't at least good at it.

Still, it was hard to feel any enthusiasm. His attention might have felt good physically, but it certainly didn't feel good mentally.

You flinched when you felt a fingertip prodding at your cunt. He pulled away just far enough to tsk, "Relax and let me make you feel good, puppy. You said you would behave for me."

"Y-Yes, daddy," You muttered, continuing to clutch the sheets as you tried to control your breathing.

His thick index finger sank into you down to the knuckle, almost immediately curling up to brush against the spongy spot within you that made you see stars. As much as you tried to fight it you gasped, quickly bringing a hand up to cover your mouth, but the sound you'd made hadn't slipped past Leon. You felt him smirk against your skin as he pressed sloppy kisses to your thigh, reaching up with his free hand to force yours away from your face.

"Don't be shy, princess," He spoke against the inside of your thigh, trailing kisses up to your clit. "I want to hear just how good it feels."

You whimpered, hips squirming into his affection, and he chuckled approvingly, bringing his mouth back to you fully to continue eating you out while he fucked his finger into you. Soon after his index finger was joined by his middle, and you keened as he reached more deeply into you than he possibly ever had.

He pumped his fingers in and out for a moment, alternating between lapping at your cunt and kissing your thighs, and just as the coil inside began to tighten he suddenly... stopped?

You waited for a second, catching your breath, expecting him to continue any minute. But he didn't. Instead, he took on a tone that froze your blood as he asked, "Sweetheart, what is this?"

Then, you felt a sharp tug at your insides that made you yelp.

"Leon!" You shouted at him in a break of character, attempting to scoot away from him, but he grabbed your hips to still you. "That hurt!"

Another tug. You cried out, trying as you might to snap your thighs shut and push him away, but he wasn't budging.

"You never told me you had an IUD."

"Well, I do, so stop yanking on it! It hurts--"

The next words out of his mouth truly fucking broke you.

"That just won't do. It's no wonder you're not pregnant yet."

You sat up immediately. "Pregnant?"

He ignored you, tugging at it again. You screamed.

"L-Leon, don't! I can get it taken out by a doctor, I swear, I'll get it taken out!"

He shook his head. "And wait even longer to knock you up, pretty girl? Not happening. It's coming out now."

You screamed again, thrashing in his hold. He withdrew from inside you for just a moment, pinning you to the bed by your hip while he reached for your panties on the floor and shoved them into your mouth to silence you.

"There, there, angel. It'll be over before you know it, like ripping off a band-aid," He hummed, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you screeched through the cotton. "I'm gonna give you my babies, I promise. Gonna make you a mommy, and we’ll be so happy."

Before you could properly react he forced his fingers back inside you, yanking at the device until you felt a sickening tear and the unmistakable heat of blood rushing out of you. You curled into yourself, wailing, gasping for breath through the panties in your mouth as he withdrew his blood-soaked fingers, holding up the gory IUD in the light.

"There you are, princess. All better," He smiled contently, discarding the device on the bedside table. "You did so good. You were so brave for me."

You were bawling, shrieking through your gag as your vision blurred into white. Leon kissed up your thighs before standing to unbuckle his belt, and he didn't get much further than that before the panic and agonizing pain got to you and you lost consciousness.

You woke up the next morning with your thighs sore and sticky with blood. You lifted the comforter to see a deep red pool seeping out from between your legs, and the more you started to wake up, the more aware you became of the pain. You were cramping terribly, sweating buckets, your ears were ringing and you felt weak. Leon had left for work already, so it was up to you to get yourself to the bathroom.

Your entire body was trembling as you stumbled out of the bed, dripping blood in a trail behind you as you dragged yourself to the bathroom and crawled into the bathtub. You peeled off your pajama shorts and panties, watching in horror as a mixture of thick blood and cum spilled out of you and ran slowly toward the drain. Once again, you began to cry. Obviously he'd had his way with you after you passed out, buckets of blood be damned.

Even with your foggy, staticky brain, you couldn't stop thinking. Thinking about the fact that he had no intention of taking you to a hospital, so there was really no telling what might happen with your profusely painful and bleeding sex. Thinking about how fucking screwed you were now without your IUD, your best defense against falling pregnant with your captor's child. Thinking about the fact that if he wouldn't even take you to a doctor for this, he must be expecting a home birth if you were to become pregnant, which you doubted he was qualified to handle and therefore had a very good chance to result in your slow, painful death.

You couldn't stand the shivering anymore, so you filled the bathtub with hot water. It felt nice, though it was rather gross that the water was stained a glassy rose color with your own blood, not that you really had the strength to care in the moment.

In fact, you didn't have much strength at all. It wasn't long before you found yourself losing consciousness once again.

"Fuck, princess, can you hear me?"

You were trying to open your eyes, to twitch a finger, anything, but it was so hard.

"Shit. Stay right here, babydoll, I'm gonna get you some help, okay? I promise. I never meant to hurt you... shit...”

You heard some shuffling, pacing and possibly Leon talking to himself in the other room. You figured he was trying to decide whether or not to take you to a hospital. Part of you hoped he would and the other part of you hoped he would just let you die there. More than anything, you just wished you would have let him drug you in the first place so maybe you wouldn't be in this level of pain.

After what could have very well been 20 seconds or 20 minutes, Leon kneeled beside the tub and draped a cold washcloth over your forehead, reaching into the bloodied water to pull the drain. With what little control you had over your own movement you managed to crack your eyes open, which seemed to please him.

"Oh thank god... thank god, baby. I almost thought I lost you there," He huffed, voice shaking. "Listen to me closely, princess. Stay with me. I'm going to take you to a doctor but you have to be a good girl, okay? You have to be good for me and go along with what I say, even if it isn't true. I'm just doing what's best for you so you can get all better, okay?"

You nodded weakly. You weren't in any position to put up a fight, and all you really wanted was an end to the pain. Besides, he couldn't supervise you constantly at the hospital. There had to be at least some opportunity to tell someone what he'd done to you.

He somehow managed to dress you in some comfortable clothes of his, a soft black t-shirt that hung halfway down your thighs and a pair of black shorts with some little socks of yours to protect your feet. Then, he carried you princess-style out to the car where he bundled you up in the passenger seat and buckled you in.

As he pulled hurriedly out of the driveway, he made a phone call to someone.

"Hey, it's me... I need the best people we have in the infirmary, stat. I'm on my way now," He spoke sternly into the phone, white knuckling the wheel. "I'm fine, it's not for me, it's my girlfriend. It's a long story that I'll tell you when I get there, but she's bleeding pretty bad. I found her unconscious when I came home... I appreciate it, thanks. See you in 10."

Leon reached over the center console to squeeze your thigh in reassurance.

"You're gonna be just fine, princess. I'm gonna make sure they make you all better, okay?"

Your stomach sank. He obviously wasn't taking you to a hospital. From the sounds of it he was taking you somewhere he had a good amount of leverage, somewhere everyone knew him, held him in high regard and wouldn't dare challenge his word, let alone take yours over his. You slumped to the side, resting your head on the cool window with a quiet bonk. Leon was quick to ask if you were okay but you couldn't muster up a response. Your ears began ringing again and the world around you collapsed into tunnel vision.

part 2 !!

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