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eydi-andrius · 10 months

Text

Cruel Existence (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

summary: Gojo broke up with you a week ago. Trying to forget him, you invited your friends to a night out. It was fun while it lasted, until you realized that you never went home to your own place. In fact, you were sleeping soundly on his bed.

cw/tw: angst, hurt, pain, mentions of break up, regret, mentions of drinking until one passes out (please don't do this), trespassing

a/n: this was fun to write. I hope you like it. Again, as much as I appreciate likes, comments and reblogs motivates me better. Thank you!

🐈

It is wild how the stranger you once met becomes the most important person in your life.

Then for one day, life decided to make that person a stranger again.

Some may argue that no, they're not strangers anymore.

However if you think about it, a person who isn't in your life is nothing but a mere stranger.

His memories may be there, and it must have been your greatest treasure. Yet, it doesn't erase the fact that it wasn't them anymore.

Each day, the knife twists deeper, sharper and deadlier the more you think about the what ifs and the whatnots.

It's like a deadly poison slivering inside your vein. Memories turn lethal and invasive. You begged for them to just stop and let you breathe.

You prayed every night for it to be over. As you close your eyes, you wish that the morning will make you feel renewed and the person you once were.

How cruel life can be when all you wanted was to be loved.

Gojo had found you first. Maybe that explains a lot why he ended it in the first place.

"Look at this girl. She called us to drink her sorrows away but she was just holding her beer and staring from afar." Iori called you out. Then, rolled her eyes in annoyance. You gave her a chuckle and muttered an apology.

If she did not call your name, you will probably think about what you did wrong and why he ended your relationship that way. He looks tired, fed up when you ask why. He wasn't the same Satoru to whom you knew. It was true that he could be cold-hearted at times but he never acted that way towards you.

That should have been a red flag but that action had made a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. You almost thought you were special.

You bit your lips as you felt another tear wanting to come out and spill your pain in front of your friends again. Shaking your head and blinking your eyes, you tried your best to stop it.

You called and invited them to forget him. It has been a week. It shouldn't bother you as much anymore. He probably had been enjoying his single life. The pain of being pursued and being rejected after achieving your goal was something you had been trying your best not to overthink about. It might be true, but it wasn't healthy to soak through the scenarios and what ifs you knew nothing about.

It will just kill you inside and there will be no reprieve for it.

Attention and awareness finally came back to what you were doing, and so you looked around. The bar was loud. Blinking lights and the alcohol were giving everyone a false sense of confidence as they danced and socialized on the crowded dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having fun. Now, you kinda felt bad that your friends were just sitting inside the private booth with you. Especially, when all of these independent ladies had been through a tough week doing their work. You felt bad wasting their time to watch you mopping and crying over a man they already told you to be wary about.

"I know what you were thinking. And no, I'd rather sit here and join you into drinking your heart out than be with those strangers. Drink up!" Mei mei raised her eyebrows and tapped your pint. She's always so impressive at reading people. Sometimes you wonder if you had said your thoughts aloud with how accurate her words were, at times.

Heart filled with warmth, with how loving your friends were, you stood up and hugged them all. Shoko who remained quiet and sitted patted your back in reassurance after returning your big hug.

It was probably harder for her to hear what happened. She was close to Gojo. You just hoped she wouldn't be planning his murder though. She may be quiet but when angry, she can be more intense than these two.

Anyway, enough thinking about your ex-boyfriend now! These hot ladies gave you their precious free time so might as well use it wisely and to full extent.

You basically had dragged the three in the middle of the dance floor and showed them your moves, which was nonexistent, so you earned a mocking and hysterical laughter from them. Yet, it did not take long for them to follow suit and even challenge you to a dance battle.

The night was filled with laughter, and for once, during that grueling week, you forgot why you were crying and had to lie about your puffy eyes.

🐈

The pain in your head was intolerable. You had been awake for quite some time now but you cannot even lift your eyelids on how painful it was. You groaned. You moaned. You breathed in and out to make it better but the beating of the unbearable pain seems to get worse.

Well, it was true what they said, it had been fun while it lasted.

Last night was a blast. No one can stop the four of you as you claimed the stage and did your greatest night out. You felt the rush of freedom and so you did not stop taking shots after shots. The consequences were pushed back in the deepest part of your brain. And for once, you let your wild side out in public.

You were probably so wasted but at least managed to get home safe. The proof was the soft mattress of your bed. Your fresh sheet enveloping your exhausted body to a warm embrace while the air conditioner blows the perfect amount of cold. This atmosphere should have pulled you back to sleep, if it weren't for this godforsaken headache. Gosh, you wanted so bad to go back to sleep. But you are in pain, needing to pee and calm your growling hunger. You can even feel the vile gastric threatening to come up due to your empty stomach.

"How long do you plan to sleep on my bed?"

Familiar voice had spoken close to you and your body reacted way too fast. You sat up and opened your eyes. Leaning on the doorway was your ex-boyfriend Gojo Satoru. His blue eyes are neutral but his face says he was pissed.

His hair was damp. Droplets were even falling from it but he wore a white towel around his neck to prevent it from cascading further down to his body. He was half naked, only wearing an untied sweats that was hanging way too low for your comfort. Normally, you would say he was hot. But that was not the most important thing right now.

"What do you think you are doing inside my room-!?" In surprise, you yelled but were met by your very hoarse voice. You even ended up violently coughing and wheezing with how dry your throat was. It was as if you did a 24 hour karaoke with your friends or you competed at a screaming contest.

"Maybe before you groaned and moaned to someone else's bed, make sure you were actually on your bed." He tuts and moves towards where you were sitting. You felt a cold metal placed on your forehead and you sighed in relief. Even though it gave you a quick relief, it only happened for a second.

The pain, forgotten for a moment of shock, was now back twice ruthless. Your head was swimming in pain and you felt lightheaded. You left out a loud burp and you felt the hand, holding the can on your forehead, maneuvered fast to pick up the bucket placed methodically on his bedside. The respect you had for this man for preparing this much so he would be able to stop you if you plan to puke all over his place as revenge.

You wretched as if there was no tomorrow. All contents from last night probably had been vomited earlier because you felt only the acid of vile as it pushes whatever was still left inside of you. Heaving, you accepted the water he provided and gargled the last remaining content of puke in your mouth. You cleaned up using the back of your hand and leaned at the nearby chair while you were still sitting on his bed.

This is probably your year's nightmare. Drinking a lot for the first time, losing your friends by walking to someone else's house and worse, sleeping on your ex's bed and thinking it was so comfortable and homey earlier.

While you were thinking and regretting what you had done, you heard the scraping of the table being pulled closer to where you sat. His presence near you again. The clang of utensils, the sound of the lid being opened and plastic wrappers being crumpled and thrown had almost lull you to sleep when you felt a soft tap of his familiar hand on your shoulder.

With a blink, you straightened up and looked at the store bought food, placed in front of you.

It was cup noodles, a bottle of water and ibuprofen, placed on the side. The cold can of coffee just above it.

"Eat up or you will feel shittier than you are right now." He said more like an order and just stood in front of you with arms crossed.

You gulped and tried your best to eat but your hair kept on falling down and dipping on the cup noodles. You were already aware that you smelled like vomit, who could even imagine you can also smell like cup noodles. With a groan of frustration, you collected your hair on the side and was about to eat again when you felt his hand run through your hair.

He mumbled a soft "Let me." and with practiced moves, he was able to tie your hair with a hair tie. He used to do this a lot when you decided not to cut your hair shorter so you can donate it. He was so sweet and attentive when you were still together and this action of concern was not helping your case.

You sat and ate in silence while he stood there for a while and decided it was too awkward and he left you alone. He closed the door as softly as he could. Once you were sure he was gone, you gave out an empty scream and slapped your face multiple times. The pain, embarrassment, and anger were all mixed up as you felt it rise within you.

With a frustrated groan, you bite your lip and pray that this nightmare was all a dream. But you know better. Eyes staring at the familiar ceiling, you sighed. The room is engulfed with quiet except for your ragged breathing, indiciating, how sick you are.

The silence did not last long when you remembered your phone and frantically looked for it. You saw it placed properly on the nearby stool and almost cried when you saw the numerous texts and calls from your friends. Ranging from the early hours of the day and right now, it was asking for the same thing; where were you? or are you okay?.

Nervous, you tried your best to reply even with shaking hands and once you hit send, they immediately saw it and called.

The call was filled with screams of terror and relief that you were okay. But once they calmed down, you were able to talk to them properly. They even answered the gnawing question you had been wondering about when you saw Gojo in front you.

Around 3 am, you four had decided to book a room in a nearby hotel, instead of getting a cab and going home. You all were too wasted to even trust yourselves that you can all recall how to go home.

They never remember much after that but they were sure you were the first one to sleep on the bed. But later, after around 5 or 6, Iori woke up and saw you weren't there. They were filled with panic and terror because there is no way you can stand up after having that short sleep and being too drunk.

They tried to rationalize that maybe you did go home and tried to call you. But when you were still not picking up, they almost trashed the hotel room. Luckily, the cleaning lady was kind enough. When she saw their panicked and disheveled appearance, she asked the security to check if you left the hotel in one piece. It turns out, she had seen you four together and was also worried that something happened to you too.

They had seen you walking out of the room and through the lobby, up to the entrance. You obviously looked still drunk as you tried to wobble and walk straight ahead, outside of the hotel.

Since then, they have been blowing your phone with texts and calls. They could hear it ringing so they suspected that maybe you accidentally turned it to silent mode or you were kidnapped.

Grateful, you reassured them that you were fine. You made up a story that you booked a new hotel room, in another hotel, probably because you were drunk. Currently, you informed them that you were staying in that room and having breakfast. You reasoned out that you were not able to answer their calls and texts because you can barely open your eyes. It uproared another wave of panic but you told them firmly that you were fine and will call them once you take care of your too drunk ass. To stop them from asking further, you hung up the phone with an excuse that your battery was dying out.

There is no way that you will share to them that your drunk ass went to your ex's huge condominium and you thought as you woke that it was yours. You had been staying and visiting this place that your body immediately thought of this place as your other home.

After finishing your meal, and feeling the medicine taking effect. You psych yourself up to face the inevitable. There is no way you can just walk out of this place without confronting him about what you did and what he had to witness.

You walk to the restroom and try your best to look presentable and not a crazy person.

Once done, you slowly crept towards the door and opened it ajar, you scanned the place and looked for him. He was wearing a black fitted plain shirt, as he sat on the couch, sipping a cup of coffee as he typed something on his laptop. Probably, for work.

You walked slowly towards him and coughed to get his attention. His piercing blue eyes stared back at you, as he removed his glasses and closed his laptop. He grumbled and again, crossed his arms to his chest. His lips were abit pouted and the creases on his head showed a frown.

"I'm really sorry for trespassing. I promise I will never drink that hard again." You promised and even did a pinky swear in front of him. He looked unamused though as he replied with a doubtful "hmmm" and still had the same frowning face.

"Do you remember what you did then?" He asked.

"To be honest, no. I only remember being in a hotel with the girls and sleeping. I don't really remember much about what I did." You gulped when you saw him raised his eyebrow and sighed.

"See those keys?" He pointed at the keys placed on a bowl. "You used that to enter my condo. They were my spare keys that were still hidden in the same place. You were so drunk that you thought you went back home and even slept beside me. I thought I was sleeping with my pillow the whole morning, so imagine my surprise when that pillow turned out to be you." He shared with a firm voice, as if he even cannot fathom what happened.

However, something's amiss with that story.

"No way! Don't lie to me. I agree that I may have done the trespassing but sleeping beside you? Nahhhhhhh! I doubt that. Remember, you're a light sleeper! There is no way I can sneak up on you and sleep." It was now your time to raise your eyebrow and cross your arms at him. You even sounded smug for someone who owed him big time.

You do not believe that other accusation at all. That is so unbelievable and he was probably messing with you so you will feel guiltier from entering his home without permission.

"My new doctor prescribed effective sleeping pills for insomnia this time. I have been sleeping better and on time ever since. I never felt any movement at all." He smirked. And you know, you lose. Gojo never lied about these things and you also knew that he was struggling to sleep.

So if this was true, then for the whole morning, you were sleeping together!?

Who would even do that with her ex? Oh god you are stupid!

His smug look had made you feel ashamed even more and you know that you're red as a tomato. You feel hot all over and even at the end of your ears.

Let's end this humiliation and be done with this asap!

"I- Thank you for taking care of me. I owe you one. I'm so sorry again and will promise not to drink again and disturb you. Again, I am so sorry." With a deep bow, you sincerely apologize and you just hear him say "look up."

"It's alright. I'm glad your safe. Hangover but safe. " He taunted and you just wanted to slap that smirk out of his face. He was obviously implying how humiliating your shenanigans were. And they were, but he doesn't have the right to judge.

"Well then, if there's nothing more, I'll go back to the hotel and meet my friends." A bow again and you were on your way out.

You blinked when he slapped his hands on his thighs before he stood up and used his head to tell you to go first.

You frowned a bit in confusion but followed regardless.

This whole interaction was so awkward but familiar. He does this a lot whenever you visit his home. He usually drives you back home or if he can't, he will see you out to the entrance.

The elevator did not come sooner, however. It was creating unnecessary drama and tension between you two. As you just stood there, holding your bag for dear life. You hugged it for comfort and distraction on this growing awkwardness by standing near him. He looks fit. You imagine running your hands over him again. It was more tempting now than before.

"Please take care of yourself." You heard him speak first, breaking the ice. Your head whipped so fast in his direction when you heard his voice break a little when he said that. But when you looked at him, he titled his head to the side, confused at your action. Maybe you imagined it.

Embarrassed, you used the ping of the elevator as an excuse, thank god, and immediately rode the lift.

He was standing there on the other side, he was staring at you. It feels like someone was looking into your soul. You cannot help but feel vulnerable and open in front of his eyes. He looks solemn, calm.

If you stop me, I will forgive you and run back to your loving arms.

It was too late before you realized that you opened your mouth to speak and called his name.

"Satoru." His first name rang smoothly on your mouth. It feels comfortable and your heart twinged in pain when you realized that it may be the last time you will ever see him.

As the door closes slowly, you have seen his mouth move from your peripheral and he uttered your name softly, like how you say the name of the ones you treasured the most.

You do not know if you were just seeing things but his eyes look emotional, somewhat sad for a second. Before the elevator door finally closes and your name echoed when he said it.

"Y/N."

There were no tears as the lift started going down. You expected that seeing him one last time, you will feel the pain worse than before. Yet, that did not happen.

Staring at your reflection, your eyes look tired. The way those eyes bore at you speaks volume on how your soul truly feels about this.

You had a moment of acceptance when the doors closed in between you two.

A new chapter of your lives will arise. He will have his own world without you. He will be happy. He will be truly madly deeply in love with someone else.

And now, the hurt and pain became numb and cold.

Just imagining that he would love someone much greater than what he had given you was soul crushing to the point of rude awakening.

During those times, you will be happy for him. But you wish, as selfish as it sounds, that he will not be as happy when you were still together.

🐈

Gojo doesn't need to get up to know it was you who entered his condo without notice. He was a bit concerned that you kept on stumbling around and cussing his furniture out that managed to trip you, even though it was clearly your fault.

When he felt the bed dipped and your arms automatically hugging him from behind, it made him a bit nervous. He has to pretend to be asleep or else…….or else what? He never knew.

You smell like alcohol and you're even slurring your words. He never saw you this drunk before. In fact, you never liked alcohol. You have a terrible experience of living with an alcoholic, so a mere smell of alcohol repulses you. He never expected to see you drunk and barely kept together.

He was about to confront you, when he felt your arms tighten around him and your breath tickling his back when you said, "I'm home." with a sigh of relief before passing out.

Gojo had never felt more at peace hearing those words coming from your mouth.

🐈

When he woke up, he was just staring at you. He never had any proper sleep since the break up but knowing you were beside him, he was able to sleep well.

Maybe something inside him had been comforted when you said you were home. It actually warms his heart that you felt at home beside him.

He sat up and, a twang of pain rushed inside his chest. He shakes his hair in annoyance using his right hand.

He doesn't have the right to be sad about it when he was the one who broke it up with you.

Gojo never really knew why he did it in the first place. Sure, his family never approved of you but he never really cared about their opinion. He actually wishes for his old folks to die soon so he doesn't have to pretend that he cares about their words. He grew up without them being around.

Or maybe it was because he felt insecure that someone as kind and loving as you chose him. You were so different to the people he usually surrounds himself around but you were warm and he felt safe around you.

With a frustrated groan, Gojo stood up and was about to walk towards the door when he thought of an idea.

He slowly walked towards where you were asleep, bent down and whispered, "Welcome home." before kissing your forehead.

For the first time, after a week of him trying to justify that he made the right choice, making Nanami, his friend, worry that he was working too much, he felt at peace and happy.

Just for a moment, he wanted to pretend that he did not let you go for something so stupid and you were actually home with him.

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skyeslittlecorner · 1 month

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How about the kings (plus Lucifer and some of your fav nobles if you could 🥺) reactions with an MC who like to bite out of nowhere 😁 and after they bit they ran away while "😛" them

That's so silly! I relate so much, I also tease people a lot when I like them lmao

Satan loves to see you having fun. And he will play along. Are you nibbling at him suddenly? So get ready for him to bite you too. It will be like playing tag, out of nowhere, but with your teeth instead of your hands. After some time, you will start walking around colorful from your biting, of course you more, because Satan will be happy to mark what is his. He was already used to it when one day, instead of biting him, you gave him a kiss on the shoulder. Then you will get a deep 'you're too sweet to exist' kiss in the mouth. He never knows what to expect from you, and that's the best thing.

Mammon… didn't even notice. He didn't feel it. Might as well be bitten by a mosquito, but then he might at least be itchy. He'll sooner see your disappointment and ask if something's wrong. You won't want to tell him because it's silly, so he orders his nobles to find the answer. Maybe it's something serious? But when you see how earnestly they took it, all you can do is laugh and enlighten this dear king. He'll be relieved that nothing happened to you. Next time if you want to bite him, do it in the mouth.

Beel thought it was great fun. He noticed that you sometimes bite him unexpectedly and suggested a bet. If you manage to surprise him, you've won, and if he catches you, he's won. Of course, you knew you had no chance against his reflexes, and you counted on his memory being flawed. You definitely miscalculated. If he is interested in something, he focuses all his attention on it, and you are certainly such an object. But he'll let you win once or twice, just to see how happy you are.

Leviathan finds this stupid and immature. Why are you doing this at all? It does not make sense. Of course, try to get closer than a meter to someone with that sinister glint in your eye, and before you can do anything, poor subordinate will be hanging six meters above you. Oh, no. Now all you have left to bite is Levi, how sorry he is (not at all).

I wonder how much I will revise all the Lucy parts when he comes out lol

Lucifer doesn't think it's a smart idea. Such a cut may become infected. Moreover, such a cut brings you into contact with blood, and what if it infects you with something incurable? So - you mustn't do that… unless it's him. This is the one and only exception. Doctor's recommendation. (Yes, yes, you believe him too, that it's only about your safety.)

Andrealphus may attack when you first do this. He will grab your blouse and rise you up. You will realize that this wasn't the smartest idea in your life. At the same time, he heard your gasp in surprise, so he knew it was only you, not an angel or anybody with bad intentions. He will apologize, but also warn you not to do that again. Learned reflex. He wouldn't hurt you, but rather slowly get him used to your presence and only then try something like this.

Naberius will look at you with eyes as wide as saucers. So this is how you seek attention? Like a puppy that wants to play? That's adorable. Get ready for this funny gesture to open him up surprisingly. You'll end up being scratched under the chin and behind the ears. (And then try doing it to him, he will fall in love with you even more.)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb satan #whb mammon #whb beelzebub #whb leviathan #whb lucifer #whb andrealphus #whb naberius

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uplatterme · 1 year

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Hidden Urges

cw: pre-memories!wanderer, sub!wanderer, dom!reader, gender-neutral terms and pronouns but reader has a cock, jacking off, hurt/comfort (my bad), overstimulation, crying, REALLY SOFT

a/n: probably one of the best fics ive ever written ngl. might write a part two with post-memories!wanderer if y’all want it.

———

You thought you had been daydreaming at first.

You stood outside the porch of your house and were met with a man who stood in the rain looking unbothered by the whole thing. He was just there, staring into nothingness despite some parts of his clothes getting wet by the second.

You bit your cheek, walking up to him and taking his wrist with your hand.

“Come in? I have supper ready.”

It took him a while to register but he eventually agreed with your persistence.

He introduced himself as a wanderer, he said, “I’ll be out when the rain stops.”

To which you replied, “Take as long as you need.”

You gave him some spare clothes which fit on him loosely as you hung the kimono to dry inside the house.

He was…a very pretty man.

You served him a bowl of porridge that he refused multiple times, saying that you should just eat it instead, that you need it more than him.

It sounded silly seeing as how thin the wanderer was.

“So, who are you really? Besides being a wanderer, I mean.”

Your question seemed to be something that he even himself couldn’t answer. He made that same face that he wore when he was in the rain, deep in thought, possibly contemplating everything that he had gone through.

After a few minutes, he opened his mouth to finally say something, only to be shut up with a spoonful of warm porridge inside his mouth.

You smiled, seeing him swallow the food even if you had to do it forcefully.

“How is it?” You asked.

“It’s good.” He answered, still stunned at how you had just spoonfed him.

“Yeah? Well, there’s more. Dig in.”

He reluctantly took the bowl in his hands, eating the food that you had generously given to him. You were so persuasive. He wondered if you realized that you had that effect on people.

You ate with him, telling stories of your own as you worried that you had scared him off from asking too much about himself.

A thought lingered in your head as you led him to a spare room before going back to your bedroom alone.

Why was it that he never shivered under the rain?

The rain didn’t let up for days. A storm had manifested instead, meaning any kind of travel would have to be suspended.

Wanderer felt that he was intruding so much already, he could go anytime he wanted to but leaving you alone didn’t seem right.

“Are you alright?” Your hand was on his forehead, checking his temperature.

You had somehow managed to sneak up on him again, he marveled at that fact, questioning whether if you purposely did it when he was busy thinking about something.

He tensed up when you removed your hand from his skin, eager to have more of your touch.

He cursed himself in his head. That had been happening a lot lately, a growing urge inside of him that didn’t want to leave and let go of you once the rain ended.

But that’s exactly why he needed to leave, he couldn’t get too attached.

He stayed in the spare room you had given him and each time he was alone, all these questions kept attacking his head.

Was he supposed to feel this way? Should a puppet such as him have these kinds of emotions?

The longer he stayed here, the longer he felt that he wished the rain wouldn’t stop.

Everything smelt like you. The blankets, the clothes, and eventually, even him.

He stared at the problem at the center of his legs. This too, had been bothering him.

It often happened when he thought about you, or whenever you touched him for too long.

He bit his lip, careful to not let any sound slip. Although these days, he wanted you to hear. To find him like this, all sensitive and spread out just to see your reaction.

Would you have shamed him and kicked him out of the house for this? Or, would you have praised him, telling him how much of a good job he was making?

His hand gripped his cock, imagining that it was you doing this to him. He sang your name softly, fingers now traveling to his tip, using the white liquid that had oozed out as a lubricant.

He continued pumping himself underneath the blankets, smelling your scent and bringing him into a high. His legs trembled with each stroke, knowing that he’ll make a mess once again on the bed that you’d kindly given to him.

“S-Sorry… I can’t help it—” He chanted apologies and came into his hand, his cum splattering to his thighs.

He needed to leave as soon as possible.

Unbeknownst to your guest, you too, were having a problem.

Your lip has been bruising with how many times you’ve been biting it.

You’re appreciative that you have a pretty temporary roommate like him, but he’d been driving you insane.

Like right now.

He’d been helping you out with dinners lately but with him being inexperienced, he tended to do things in a very questionable way.

For example, having cream splatter directly on his cheek while he whipped a batch. Or, bending his body against the counter to reach the spatula that’s on the other side instead of just asking for it.

It had your mind going through things that it shouldn’t. Such as imagining the said guest on top of you, taking you in as he tries his best to please you, asking you whether he’s doing it right. And worse, that’s probably the tamest thing you could think of right now, the others you’ve daydreamed about are ten times worse.

Has his shorts ever been that short?

You didn’t want to take advantage of him, seeing as he would do whatever you asked no matter how weird they may be.

You tried it once, asking him to fetch three blades of grass from the backyard and what do you know, he actually did it.

He seemed to think that he owed you, which isn’t really the case since you just wanted to help out.

What you wouldn’t give to see him gasping your name though.

“Hey, I never really asked this but would you like me to call you something?” You asked.

“Huh?”

“Ah, well. I understand not telling me your real name but uh, I’d like to call you something like a nickname.”

“It’s up to you. I’d be fine with anything you give.”

You bit your lip again. He’s so sweet!

That being said, you didn’t know what you should call him. Wanderer, huh? Honey is a bit too much, Darling is too domestic, Sweetie seemed like you were pampering him…

Why were these nicknames all sounding like pet names for a lover?

“You said anything, right?” You reconfirmed.

He nodded.

“How about Doll, then?”

He stilled, a deep breath leaving his mouth. He seemed agitated.

Did he not like it?

“I–Yes. That’s fine. Excuse me, I just have to get something in my room.”

He left before you could even apologize (for what?) or say a word.

That day, the rain stopped and you stopped seeing the wanderer ever since.

You tried to get it off your mind, spending time on your work or reading.

It didn’t help. He’d disappeared and if it weren’t for your bruised lips, you’d think the whole thing was a long dream that you’d just woken out of.

You laid your back on the doorframe of his room. It wasn’t a guest room anymore, it was his now. Even if he’d never come back.

Wanderer walked and walked, trying to distract himself from you.

The nickname hurt him and he didn’t know why. Was it because he was a puppet? He’d always been content with being one and if you had asked, he’d trusted you enough to the point that he’d tell you the truth.

Was there something he was forgetting? Something that he forgot which made him feel this hurt?

He stood outside of your house, his head leaning on the door, hand on the doorknob, when he heard a sultry voice talking.

Next, came the moaning and gasping. You were with someone else.

Get rid of them, they don’t deserve your touches. That should be for him, for his only.

His head ached.

He turned the knob slowly, walking towards your bedroom but stopped halfway through when he realized that you weren’t there.

You were in his room.

He sank to the floor, sitting there while he listened in.

“You seem aggressive.” The other voice said.

“Stop. Stop talking. Just lay there.” You replied.

“Really? How long is this going to last? All you’ve done is mark my neck and chest.”

Jealousy was all through his veins. Perhaps if he had never left, that could have been him in that bed instead of some random person.

He could hear you sigh disappointedly.

“You won’t even kiss me on the lips. You haven’t stripped out of your clothes and it’s been an hour! I know I shouldn’t complain since I’m getting paid here but come on.”

“God, could you shut up?!” You yelled angrily.

Your voice brought shivers to the puppet. You had never gotten mad at him no matter what. Not when he broke the dishes while washing them, not when he accidentally messed up a recipe, not when he spaced out and stopped listening to your stories.

“I didn’t mean it. Doll, I—”

Silence filled the entire house. Not a word from you or the other person. Not a single breath out of the wanderer.

“Shit, I keep—” You stuttered with your words.

“Can you just get out? Take the money with you.”

The person left without even noticing him to their left, in a hurry and understandably annoyed.

You didn’t think you’d get so desperate, hiring a person who could play his part.

You thought you could get through it, maybe a fuck was something you needed to get it out of your system. You knew it wouldn’t work but you eventually gave in to your desires.

A shadowy figure loomed into your vision.

“I told you to get out.”

“Are you alright?”

You brought your head up to see the wanderer looking at you with worry. Were you dreaming?

You stood up with shaking legs, running towards him to envelop him in a hug.

“You’re back.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

You frowned at him, why was he apologizing?

“What? I should be the one saying sorry, I brought someone else home and called you something you didn’t like.”

“Yes, but I overreacted.” He replied.

“It did trigger you, didn’t it?”

He nodded, overwhelmed with your warmth due to being out for so long.

“Yes. But I… don’t know why.” He said with his eyes on the ground, troubled.

“I see. We’ll figure it out.” You reassured him.

“We?” He said, surprised.

“Yes.”

You crashed your lips onto his, something that you’d thought of more than you should. Your hands were on his back while you pressed his body against yours tightly.

The sudden act brought the puppet flustered to a whole new level.

“Can I ask something?” He said, gasping for air as he separated from you.

“Hm?”

“Can you mark me like what you did with that person earlier?”

“Anything for you, love.”

The wanderer felt as if there were tons of butterflies fluttering away in his stomach. Love?

Him? Really?

His face is pressed onto the pillows, his ass up for you, as your finger slips inside of his hole so smoothly that you’d think this isn’t the first time that he’s doing it with someone else.

He moaned loudly, fingers gripping the sheets and cum dripping onto them.

He still could feel the bruising on his chest all the way to his neck, there was more and deeper than what you did to your invited guest earlier, obviously wanting to prove to him that it’d never happen again, that it would only be him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. Each day with you drove me positively insane.” You told him.

He cried your name, feeling another finger penetrating his walls.

“M-Me too. I’ve thought about it a bunch of times.”

You hummed pleased, removing the fingers that let out a whine from his throat.

You flipped him over, wanting to see his perfect face, and spread his thighs away from each other.

“Can you show me? Can you show me what you do while you think about it?”

He nodded, red coloring his cheeks.

He took his right hand and started from the base of his cock, stroking it but not all the way through, leaving his own tip unsatisfied. The whole scene already had him trembling, he wanted to look away from your eyes but at the same time, he was relishing from the attention.

“Hnn—Ah~” He breathed out your name, continuing to fuck himself with his hand.

“How many times have you done this?” You questioned.

It took him a while to answer, his head mostly focusing on only the pleasure and ignoring everything else.

“A-A lot. I clean the sheets before you wake up so you don’t notice.”

“Ah, such a good boy, aren’t you?”

He whimpered from the praise, a spray of his cum coming out hastily.

“That won’t do, though. I’m kicking you out of this room.” You said, giving his thigh a pinch, his cock twitching for release.

“You’re staying in my room now. If you want to jack off, you’ll be doing it in front of me just like this…Or, there’s always the other option.”

“W-What?”

“You could always ask me to help you out.”

He sobbed out a pathetic noise as he finally reached his orgasm. The bed sheets were already ruined and you haven’t even taken your clothes off yet.

His attention is brought back once he heard you unbuckle his belt.

“I’m gonna make you cum with my cock, the same number of times you orgasmed in here alone.”

“Okay.” He answered, awaiting what it would be like to finally have you inside of him.

Wanderer choked on his own breath when you first penetrated him, it was much different from your fingers. He felt so full of you, each time you thrust in and out of him had his toes curling from pleasure.

He continued whimpering, tears dripping down his cheeks while you held onto his slim waist, pumping him of your length.

His first orgasm from your cock is abrupt, too quick for even him to register it as you didn’t even stop, continuing to pound even deeper and rougher. His cock limped as it juiced out his cum.

It didn’t last long as with one specific hit to his prostate, Wanderer squeaked out an embarrassing noise, his cock hard once again.

“I’m going to ruin you, love.”

“Please do—Hah~”

His body felt lifeless, thighs too tired to even shake even if they wanted to. Your hands doing all the work, whether to switch his position, or make him face you as you fucked him just to see the faces that he would make, high on the pleasure.

Perhaps it was due to his anatomy that it wasn’t hurting, though he supposed that didn’t sound too bad either.

He blushed from his own thoughts, they had been bothering him since earlier. Where were these coming from?

“Do you need me to stop?” You asked him.

“No, keep going.”

His legs were in the air, carried by you, pushing even deeper into him despite that sounding impossible.

Wanderer teared up again feeling his next orgasm coming, he didn’t even know if he’d be able to cum, already milked out dry.

“Hnghh!” He whined out, proven wrong when you used your other hand, palming his tip.

He came for the last time, exhausted and empty as you pulled out.

“Should we take a bath together?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go there.” He panted, laughing at his situation.

He was covered with his own excretions and yet he looked just as lovely.

“Nonsense! I’ll carry you!”

“Alright then, love.” He returned the nickname, tugging at your heart and bringing you to a smile.

You two did spend more time in the bath than you expected though.

Oops.

#sub genshin #sub genshin impact #dom reader #dom!reader #sub!wanderer #sub wanderer #sub!scaramouche #sub scaramouche #scramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #plattered writings

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luneariaa · 3 months

Text

ღ || you are loved.

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : kento nanami x reader.

✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 1k+

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : the memories of the previous events that ever happened in your life disrupts your whole thoughts. being the amazing husband he is, he comforts you during one of your bad days.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : reader having a pretty rough childhood, nanami is your husband here, men in family have shown to be giving a bad influence but none too explicit, disturbed mindset, not much proof-read, and basically just family issues. plot going nowhere near the end ig lmao.

✰ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : as someone who also had a pretty rough childhood and a rather chaotic family, i just decided to write and post it out in order to feel some sort of relief thru this. i'm so sorry to those who can relate; sending lots of love and hugs for y'all!! i'm so proud of you guys for able to make it through this day! 💛🌻

. dividers by @/cafekitsune !! 💫

To others, your family might be seen as a happy one; having positive, peaceful maintaining relationships. But no one really knows for sure, on what truly happens within that place you called home itself.

What is the purpose of it all, if not to retain a healthy, loving relationship between family members? Each one should’ve practised themselves to strengthen their familial bonds with one another.

But instead, whatever you have wished for– it’s all for nothing.

Growing up in a rather chaotic household does leave your mind dazed at times. You would sometimes even find yourself to be so confused, and believed that most people couldn’t be trusted the way they are. And it’s not by your choice, sadly, you can't help it.

Especially men, in general. You would’ve loved to believe that it’s just some sort of a generational issue, but you don’t even know yourself anymore.

As a result of all the chaos that’s been happening for all those possible years, you’ve grown to be a quite introverted person– reclused, even, not really fond of the idea of opening up to others. It’s so hard for you to do so, especially when it’s already one of your habits that you’ve been doing for so long.

Initially, you even feared the idea of marriage as well, believing that you won’t ever meet the love of your life at all; along with the thought of you not being good enough to be someone’s wife.

But that changed when Kento Nanami came into your life some years later. Although you’re still struggling with your own habits, whether good or bad ones, Nanami always tries his best to help you with whatever he can.

You don’t even remember how and why did you agreed with having a serious relationship with him. Perhaps, you’ve seen something in him– or even, on what he gave you, provided you something that you’ve been missing from in your life itself.

Sure, you can be quite closed off at times, even when it’s unintentional, but he always and always will try to guide you with doing the actual, right thing.

Nanami treats you with pure, utmost respect that comes off as so natural to him; never once yelling or using any harshness at you, especially with his own words. Even when you somehow are being stubborn or so right at that moment, he would always be patient with you, and even give you some space if you needed it.

He’s so sweet and loving, mature, responsible.. The list just keeps going on and on. Heck, he even remembers every single detail that you may have told him, your favourites, your habits, and so on.

Nanami was never the one to rush into things. He takes his tender time with it, especially when it ever comes to you.

He would always speak directly and bluntly; not intending to sugarcoat his words in a way, yet his words never did hurt your feelings. There’s just something about his honesty that draws you in further. It leaves you confused sometimes– was it even the way he talks to you?

But just by his own presence, whether his way of speaking or his actions itself; something about it heals your inner self. It soothes your soul wonderfully, like a warm sunlight coming out from the clouds after the rain occurred. You feel safe and comfortable around him over time.

The time being spent between the two of you is never lacking or dull– with both of your personalities, which are quite the opposite from one another, complements and balances out each other so, so well. And this is due to how you both work on your relationship together as well.

Never once does it feel forced; the deep relationship bond between you both flows ever so gently like the river, and in order for the water to continue flowing without any disturbances, it needs the mere effort from you two.

Despite everything, there’s a part of you that feels so out of place. Perhaps, there’s a side that you believed to be unlovable, and that you’re just not enough. Of course, you wouldn’t even bother to tell him since you didn’t want to potentially burden him with your own problems.

But it’s Nanami that you’re talking about– and he’s the type to notice every single change in your expression. He can always tell if something is causing your own mind to be restless.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” Nanami’s soft tone broke your temporary state of trance, stepping inside within their shared bedroom and gradually approaching your form. You didn’t even realize that you’ve been standing and staring in front of the mirror for several passing moments now.

The thoughts of self-doubt and questioning about your whole existence disappears in mere seconds.

He gently wraps his strong arms around your unmoving form; resting his chin on your shoulder while gazing back straight at your own reflection in the mirror. A small smile appears upon your lips, and didn’t even make any attempt to remove himself from you since it feels so nice at the very moment.

“Nothing.”

His touch alone is enough to soothe your own possibly hurting soul– calming and any trace of hurriedness not in sight, yet your brief answer doesn’t really ease his worries. He knows.

“I know you, darling, I know that’s a lie. You’ve been staring at yourself for the past few minutes.” Nanami didn’t even try to hide his true emotions at this point, keeping his hold around you. He didn’t have to. “Is there anything bothering you? Please tell me, I’m here to listen.”

You’re completely aware that there’s no point in lying to your beloved, so with no choice, you decided to tell him all of your pent-up troubles.

“I just don’t feel special. It’s just one of those days, you know..”

Talking it out is always one of your biggest fears and struggles, and he understands on how hard it is for you to do it every time. Instead of forcing you to speak even further, he slowly turns you around, just to give you a proper embrace.

One that you really, really needed.

“Sometimes–” your words came out more choked out if anything due to the tears you’ve been holding back. “--I wondered what made you choose me as your wife. I’m nothing more special than just a damaged person who needs to heal and move on. But it’s hard.”

“I’m beyond happy with it, truly I do. It’s just that.. My unwanted thoughts could get in the way at times, and I just feel so troubled with myself in general. I don’t feel I deserve someone like you, and you deserve someone far more better.”

“I’m just so grateful for having you in my life– I truly do. You healed something in me, you really did. I’m just worried that whatever I do will never be enough.”

Nanami falls silent at first, which makes you worried for a while there, afraid that you might overstep with your own words of admittance. His mind is racing for a second there, contemplating each word of truth that he has to tell you.

“Darling, I chose you; I chose you out of everyone else because I wanted to.” He still couldn’t understand as much as how you could see yourself in that way. Nanami is never mad, but deep down, he’s genuinely sad at how you view yourself.

Nanami gently uses one of his hands to lift your chin up, completely making sure that you return the gaze that he’s currently giving you. “I don’t care what anyone says. You are everything that I ever wished for, and your little imperfections are what made you so perfect to me.”

“And I never intend to pick anyone else in a crowd of people– I will always choose you. If anyone ever tells you or me that you’re not special, then they’re wrong. I will prove them otherwise, I promise you.”

His gaze never once faltered from yours, wanting to make sure that you’re listening and focusing on every word he says. Your eyes alone have an effect on him, simply captivating in every sense.

It did have an effect on you– feeling yourself getting on the brink of tears, yet still trying your hardest to not have a mental breakdown in front of your beloved. Not yet.

You keep repeating, and repeating on each word that he says internally. His honest yet sweet statement has left you in a tongue-tied state. You are still not used to it sometimes, even forgetting that this man ahead of you clearly loves you dearly and possibly more than himself.

Your husband took quick notice of this, and simply held your form closer to his. The least he could do is to provide some needed comfort, and how he very much wished that he’s able to get rid of any trace of sadness that existed within you.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you..”

His voice is so soft, not once hinting any irritation whatsoever as he comforts you. You really cherish him, more than words could ever describe– even wishing that you’re able to repay his efforts.

Nanami will always guide you back, and slowly try to make you drift away from any traces of negativity that you’re facing. Of course, it’s not easy, but he’s willing to try it together with you.

Always so gentle and protective in his own way; it wouldn’t matter on how old you both are getting. The love he has for you shall remain and live on as long as he’s breathing, and he will always shield you from any potential harm from the world itself.

“Even beyond the flaws that you believed to have possessed, you are still worth everything that this world has to offer. Those little flaws are what made you, you.”

He keeps on telling you the words that he always wanted to tell you; one that is filled with complete honesty and love within it. To simply remind you on how much your existence meant to him, and it successfully pushed your emotions further to the edge– unable to contain your tears any longer.

Yet still, he continues on with his own words– all the while placing several feathery kisses onto each part of your face that he could reach. The feeling itself is quite overwhelming, yet comfortingly so, knowing that you are truly being loved by someone special.

The past that you have endured may stay with you for as long as you live, but Nanami is willing to help; willing to create a better future instead for the both of you. For your mere sake.

“I will always love you; every single inch of you, and even your flaws. I will make sure of it– always reminding you of that.”

#aria's post 𖥔 ݁ ˖#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #kento nanami #kento nanami x reader #kento nanami x y/n #kento nanami x you #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento x you #nanami x reader #nanami x y/n #nanami x you

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piratefishmama · 10 months

Text

Fake it 'till you make it | Part 5

Eddie was almost half certain that he was either hallucinating, or still asleep and dreaming the whole thing. But Steve Harrington was in his living room, perusing the mug collection as if it were fine art or some shit, and he wasn’t there to buy drugs. The van had gotten uncomfortable pretty quickly after Eddie’s tragic realisation, and while his Uncle was definitely there, and giving Eddie a very obvious what the fuck Ed’s ‘look’ while he made them both coffee, Steve seemed pretty at ease in the place.

He didn’t look like he belonged in any way shape or form, with his mega-bucks hairstyle, the polo that probably cost more than Eddie was making per day on those dates, and the jeans that probably—okay he needed to stop pricing up what Steve was wearing.

Needed to stop making assumptions about him.

“You take sugar, kid?”

“Uh—yes! Yeah, uh, cream two sugars, please. Thank you.” If Steve noticed the surprise on Wayne’s face at the presence of manners well… he didn’t seem offended by it. in fact he was still pretty amazed by the mug collection. “Where’d you get all these?”

“Spent a few years’a my life as a long haul trucker before Ed’s landed on my doorstep back in the day, the road ain’t no place for a kid so I packed it in, but there’s always lil knick knacks in pit stops along the way, had people say they’d probably be worth somethin someday, bit‘a history an all that, but… that ain’t why I have em. Each one has a memory attached to it, makes somethin as mundane as a mug, precious.” Memories, the walls were littered with memories.

Such a small space packed with so much. So many little bits and bobs, clutter that told stories, personalities told by clutter.

Steve loved it. He found it… comforting.

Eddie couldn’t stop the foot he so ungracefully stuck into his mouth however with the quip “must seem messy to you, huh?” That wiped the smile right from Steve’s perfect face. Replaced it with a little frown of confusion.

“Hm? No… no, not at all, what? What makes you think that?”

“Well, I’ve seen your house dude, it’s looks straight out of a showroom or somethin.” Couldn’t take the foot out of the mouth now, best just chew on it until his uncle whacked him round the back of the head with a newspaper, hissing,

“Manners don’t cost nothin boy, I raised you better than to be a little shit to guests. The hell’s your problem?”

“I honestly have no idea.” Eddie didn’t even complain about the whack, it didn’t hurt, but it did dislodge the foot from his mouth, allowing him to level Steve and his confused face an apology “sorry man, I’m just…”

“Defensive?”

“Mmhm”

“S’fine, I get it.” And wasn’t that just fucking heartbreaking. Especially since he smiled so sweetly when Wayne gave him his own little steaming mug, it had mickey mouse on it. “For the record though, I like it. The collection I mean… I think I’d like something like this in my own house someday, just… memories everywhere… neither of my parents are big on collections, I think the only ones they have are my mom’s vinyl’s and my dad’s wine.”

“Your mom has vinyl’s?” The wine collection was predictable but vinyl’s?

“Mm, up in the attic, I’ll show you sometime.” He had a player in the sun room, could probably bring a few boxes down and let Eddie rifle through them someday, maybe even convince his mom to bring some of them with them to the chalet, Eddie might get a kick out of at least a few of the records in there. “If you still wanna be seen with me after all this” an if she wouldn’t take them, best get the idea that they could still be friends after it all out in the open!

Eddie wasn’t bad, and Dustin adored him, constantly trying to get him to give Eddie a chance, sneaky little shit setting this up, probably had ulterior motives, so… why not?

Eddie didn’t get a chance to answer though, although his mouth was open ready to speak, Wayne beat him to it. “Now, it’s none’a my business but… what do you mean by all this?” Leaving Steve awkwardly sipping his coffee, looking at Eddie over the rim of his cup in question. Was it okay? Would it be okay to talk about it?

“As much as I’d love to say, ‘Steve’s invited me somewhere for a week!’ and have that be totally believable and not cause you a stress aneurysm… Wayne’s cool, Steve, you good with me talking about it?” There was obvious hesitation, more strangers who knew the riskier it could be for him, but— he nodded. He’d trust Wayne, as insane as that was, he didn’t even know Wayne, but… the man gave off a weird kind of trustworthy energy. And Eddie vouched for him so, “You know how I do that whole… date thing to freak parents out for girls? Stevie here needs my services.”

“You aint plannin on doin what I think you’re doin, are you boy? Are you out of your damn mind? Do you know how danger—”

“It’s okay!” Steve blurted cutting off the expected worry rant “it’s safe, I promise, my parents are… well… they might seem really detached from reality but—you don’t know them. I recently realised that neither do I… he’s not… gonna be freaking them out either, he’s just… playing a part to get them off my back for a while… I’m uh… I’m—” he looked at Eddie, briefly but long enough to catch the little nod of encouragement. It was okay. It was safe. So far things had been fine for him coming out, so far he’d been okay, there’d been no danger, and maybe doing it so many times had made it easier or something because it just… came out “I’m bisexual, they know, and have been throwing both women, and men at me trying to get me to finally settle down with someone and… while I agree, that’d be nice… I would love to do that, i’m not jazzed about the quality of the people they’re throwing at me.”

“…Your parents. The Harringtons, rich folk. Those folks… they’re safe?”

“Apparently, my dad’s even restructuring his company values to include people like me, trying to make it a safer place for us, and this was before I told them.” Something he’d had no idea about, something that he couldn’t believe, hence why he kept bringing it up, it was insane to him, how little he actually knew his parents, how wrong he’d been about them.

How wrong everyone had been about them.

“His parents are takin him to this chalet in Canada next week, Steve thinks they’re gonna ambush him with some random person that he’ll have to spend a whole week avoiding, so… he’s hiring me to act as his boyfriend. That cool with you, Wayne?” He didn’t have to ask. Eddie was a grown adult, he could do whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted, but… Wayne deserved to know.

“… Can I meet em before you go?”

“Of course!”

“Not a chance.”

The worst part was, they both spoke at once. And Steve’s very positive answer, happened to be louder.

Part 7

#PirateWrites #FakeItTillYouMakeItFiclet #Steddie #No Upside Down AU #Waaaaaaayne #i love wayne #Wayne deserves the world

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futuremrsreid · 1 year

Text

Watching (S.R)

Summary: Spencer sleeps over at y/n's place and hears something he isn't supposed to.

Content Warnings: 18+, SMUT, downright filthy smut, voyeurism, dubious consent, humiliation, basically reader is wanking and spencer watches without her knowing

Authors Note: I am obsessed with writing morally wrong fics, but I guess this isn't for everyone so please read the CW before you read!!!

“Perverted”, “Scandalous”, “Creepy”- Those were the words that I would have used to describe myself at this moment.

The night had started innocently enough. Y/n and I were having one of our monthly movie nights. We ordered pizza, watched a new release that we had been waiting for for months, and had some wine. Though, as it usually does with y/n, some wine turned into 2 bottles of the dark liquid. I wouldn’t have called myself drunk, but she insisted that I should not drive in that state. It wasn’t the first time I had slept over at her apartment, but this time, I wished that I had just gotten into my fucking car.

While I got ready for bed in the bathroom, y/n was preparing the couch for me since I always refused to take the bed. She still put up a fight every time, as if she didn’t do the same when she slept over at my place, and then pettishly prepared the couch. It was cute, just like every single thing about her was.

I sighed as I spit the toothpaste in the sink, thinking about how much it sucks to be in love with your best friend. Friends to Lovers…yeah, I wish. They make it look so easy on screen, but in reality, it just sucks. I contemplated telling her countless times, but the risk of losing her is too much. Even if she felt the same, relationships can end, people can fall out of love, and then you are left with nothing. I’d rather stick to yearning for the rest of my life.

When I left the bathroom, she was already waiting for me and we exchanged goodnights as we passed each other. Sleeping on the couch really didn’t sound so bad when the alternative was potentially losing her.

That didn’t mean that I didn’t lie awake thinking about what it would be like to sleep in the same bed as her and wake up next to her though. Most times I barely got any sleep, like tonight.

I tried falling asleep for 30 minutes before I gave up and turned the TV back on. I was barely able to hear the show that was running, but I hoped that concentrating on it would make me tired. It would have worked, but just as I was about to drift off to sleep, there was the faintest sound coming from y/n’s bedroom. It was so quiet that I wondered if I had just imagined it, but as I looked at the door, I saw that she didn’t close it properly, presumably by accident.

I closed my eyes again because people make noises in their sleep all the time, especially her, but a few seconds later, there was another noise. It sounded like a whimper, and this time I was sure that I had actually heard it. I contemplated what to do. Y/n had nightmares all the time, as should be expected in our line of work, but sometimes it was worse waking her up than just letting her sleep through it. Though thinking about the time when she scratched herself so hard that she woke up with blood under her fingernails, I got up anyway.

That was the first mistake I made that night.

I swear my thoughts were innocent when I went to push open the door, I just wanted to prevent her from hurting herself, so I was absolutely not prepared for the sight in front of me when the door fell open enough for me to look inside.

Y/n was lying on top of the bed, one hand in her panties and the other clutching the sheets. I froze. I know I should have just quietly closed the door and gone back to bed, but I didn’t.

That was the second mistake I made that night.

I kept my eyes on her, carefully memorizing everything I saw before me, storing it away in my endless memory. The way she arched her back while drawing slow circles over her clit, the way her shirt rose up because of that, and how the exposed skin of her legs and stomach looked in the faint moonlight that was streaming through her window.

The thing that got to me most though, was the look on her face. Her mouth was slightly agape, brows furrowed and her eyes clenched shut. It was absolutely mesmerizing, she was absolutely mesmerizing, and every detail of it was burned into my brain.

I knew how wrong it was, watching her like this in such a vulnerable moment, but I couldn’t look away. I was convinced the gods themselves were punishing me by putting such a sight in front of me and expecting me to walk away from it. It was utterly fucked up.

Another whimper left her, louder this time and she bit her lip, trying to keep herself quiet. God, she was trying not to wake me up but here I was, standing at her door and watching her.

Her underwear was pink, and even though it was almost dark in her room, I could still see the wet spot on it. I felt like I didn’t have any control over my body as my hand made its way to the bulge that was growing in my pajama pants, the pants she got me for my birthday. I remembered the look on her face as I unwrapped the fish print fabric, eyes full of excitement and the innocence that was always on her face. Well, most of the time anyway, because right now, there was no innocence in sight.

I was a sick man.

Her hand picked up the pace and I could hear the wet sounds it made. She sighed and threw her head back the same moment that my own hand found its way into my pants, thumb brushing over the precum-covered tip of my cock. I swallowed the groan that threatened to leave my throat when her other hand wandered to her breast, squeezing it, while I was stroking myself as fast as I could without making any sound.

It was then that I noticed the thing that would forever exile me from heaven and condemn me to a life in hell because while she lay there pleasuring herself, she was wearing my shirt, the shirt I had worn yesterday night in the cheap hotel room we were sharing. I had searched the whole room for it this morning, she helped me look.

I had to bite my lip to prevent a moan from escaping. Not only did she steal my shirt, but she also lied to me and was now wearing it while she fucked herself. The thought of my sweet and innocent best friend doing such a filthy thing almost pushed me over the edge, but like the sick masochistic pervert that I was, I gripped the base of my cock to keep me from cumming so soon. I wanted to watch her fall apart first, knowing if my orgasm finished washing over me first I would feel so guilty and sick I’d probably run to the bathroom to throw up and miss the best part.

The faster her hand moved and the closer she got, the more her sounds increased in volume. It’s fascinating how being aroused shifts your perception of the world around you because I would bet that she didn’t realize how loud she was getting. It didn’t matter anyways because the person she tried to keep quiet for was standing in the dark watching her.

When a whine escaped her, and her thighs started trembling, I knew she was close, so I started to increase my pace. I wanted to come with her, watch her fall apart and use it to reach my own climax.

My hand moved frantically around my cock and when her face scrunched up in pleasure and her thighs closed around her hand, I imagined how they would feel clenching around me. It was that thought that finally pushed me over the edge and made me spill my cum into my underwear. I bit down on my tongue hard and continued stroking myself while coming down, the same way she did.

When her hand stilled and she huffed out a breath, I knew I had to move fast. As quietly as I could I closed the door the same way it was before I had entered earlier and rushed to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up as best as I could and decided that I preferred to sleep in cum covered underwear instead of no underwear at all.

I caught my breath and tried not to think about what I had just done, but when I opened the door to go back to bed, y/n stood in front of me.

“Hi”, she almost squeaked when she saw me. Looking at her face, warm and splotchy from her orgasm, I felt myself getting hard again. I cleared my throat.

“Hi yourself”, I replied, acting like the last 10 minutes didn’t actually happen.

“You’re still awake”, she said and I saw realization wash over her face. To go to the bathroom, you had to walk by her room, and she must have noticed that her door wasn’t closed when she got up. She stood in front of me frozen and I hate to admit how much the sight turned me on. She thought I heard her. God if she knew.

I tried to be a good person, to be a gentleman, and let it go. Let her go to the bathroom to clean herself up and never talk about it again, but I just couldn’t.

“Yeah, I, uh, I couldn’t sleep”, I started and tilted my head to fake a concerned look,” By the way, are you okay? I heard some noise coming from your room. Did you have a nightmare again?” I was a sick perverted man, but the horror that washed over her face at my words almost made me take her right there against the wall.

“Uh yes. Yes, I did, but I’m fine! I’m awake, the nightmare is over. I really need to pee though so… goodnight Spence. Sleep well.” And with that, she started to move around me. I could have just let her go but it was too easy, the opportunity too great not to take it.

“Hey, is that my shirt? I was looking for it all morning.” She almost tripped when the words left my mouth.

“Oh, this was the shirt you lost? I thought it was mine, my bad. You’ll uh, get it back washed and folded just the way you like it. Goodnight!”, y/n rushed out and quickly closed the bathroom door and locked herself inside it.

It was quiet for a moment and then I could hear the faintest “fuck” from behind the door.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid reader #reider #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff

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creedslove · 11 months

Text

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART TWO

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: much to your horror, Jack shows up again and asks you to see his son one more time

(This is the second part of the one shot HEARTLESS 💔)

Warnings: angst, hurt, a little bit of fluff because Wyatt is super cute, mom!reader, asshole!jack, mentions of abortion

A/N: besties honestly i don't even know why I am doing this, while i was writing, i realized i don't like this suffering at all 😭 i think agent whiskey is such a dad and husband material and he's so handsome and sexy and he would be so affectionate and would give the best orgasms and cuddles in the world but i can't stop myself from pouring angst into people's lives 😭

1.7k words

Wyatt whimpered as you sent him to bed. He wasn't sleepy at all and he wanted to talk about all the fun things he'd seen during the day. He loved to run freely through the green fields, he liked scaring away the chickens, petting the horses and watching the baby pigs.

But his favorite part of the trip was the cowboy. He was so cool, Wyatt spent the rest of the day blabbering about him and asking you all kinds of questions. He was so innocent and pure, your heart shattered each time he would look at you with his little curious eyes and shoot you another question about the mysterious figure.

Though he wasn't mysterious at all. It was his dad, not that Wyatt knew about it, you figured he was just too little for that, he was still your baby. He wasn't even four yet and he had to live his little life with only his mama as he'd been rejected by his dad since he was just a small little bean in your womb.

You saw his begging, pleading eyes, just like Jack's and felt your heart clench, there was nothing he would ask you and you would say no. You sighed and pulled Wyatt into your lap "fine baby boy, if you don't wanna sleep now, then come cuddle mama!!!" You tickled his tummy and made him squeal and snuggle you.

You sat comfortably in his small bed and let him sprawl over you, loving how happy he got. You ran your fingers through his soft curls and pecked the top of his head. He was waiting for a bedtime story as you always told him one, but this time, he wanted a cowboy story. You swallowed and took his tiny little hand into yours, stroking it gently

"You really liked that cowboy, didn't you?" You asked your son and earned an excited nod "alright… let mama think…" you closed your eyes and thought of any story you could tell him, however, you didn't know any cowboy stories… the only cowboy story you knew was your cowboy… but that was a long time ago, when he was yours and you were his.

Still, Wyatt looked up curiously, waiting to know what you had to tell him.

You swallowed and began telling him the story about your cowboy.

With a few modifications, some sugar coating and softness you told your son about your first encounter with the cowboy and how it made your heart melt. You told him how you two hit off and how the cowboy had a real nice job of fighting bad guys and saving the world, you couldn't control the pride in your chest as you saw the joy in Wyatt's eyes, loving that storytelling so much he often gasped and giggled.

And going down the memory lane, you managed to make your son sleepy, as he blinked his tired eyes and yawned "night night mama" he whispered before falling asleep.

You smiled at yourself and covered him up, silently walking out the bedroom and walked around your dark, empty apartment. Your mind wouldn't stop replaying the images of your day, your sudden encounter with Jack, something you really thought wouldn't happen soon. He looked handsome, like he always did, smelling great and if you didn't know any better, you would probably fall for his trap again, if he flashed you those beautiful eyes, gave you a grin and said any dumb pickup line with his accent. There was just something so attractive about him, and you had fallen for him once, but you wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

You thought about how he hugged Wyatt, it didn't even seem the same man who rejected him, who simply broke things up with you once you found out you were pregnant. One day you were deeply in love with each other, and the next he was suggesting you get an abortion. It was something you just couldn't handle, you couldn't accept and just like you were alone in the world with your baby.

When the doorbell rang, your heart clenched once more, you didn't even need to check, you just knew it was Jack.

You dried your eyes and sighed, walking to the door and opening it for him.

Jack stood there, looking almost as unsure as you did. He was holding his hat in hands and watched you hesitantly. You could tell he was looking for words to say, but nothing came out.

"Come on in, Jack" you said and let him step inside, closing the door behind him and letting him get familiar with the place.

Jack looked all over the place, he had never been inside your home and it hurt him how it looked homey and cozy. No matter how much he spent on decoration at his own place, he could never get it like that.

He carefully watched the picture frames, so many photos of a life that could have been his as well, but he chose not to be a part of it, it didn't even matter his reasons now, the result was there: pictures of you on your baby shower, pictures of the first time you held Wyatt in your arms, his first birthday, his first day at daycare, mother's day… all those precious, beautiful moments, and absolutely no trace of Jack.

"It's good seeing you again, Y/N… you look even prettier than before, sugar" the man turned to you, his voice was small and though his cocky way of speaking wasn't there, you couldn't believe the first thing he told you in years was a cheap attempt of charming you.

"What do you want Jack?" You folded your arms and stared at him, you didn't want to play games nor beat around the bush.

"I wanna be around my boy" he replied to which you scoffed and shook your head

"Your boy? The same one that you rejected when he was nothing but a tiny little bean in my womb? The one you insisted on me getting rid of? I don't think so, Jack"

He sighed ashamed of his past and took a step closer, to which you immediately took a step back, showing him you wanted nothing but distance from him.

"I know what I did, and I know how awful it was, but after I saw him today… I realized I can't get away… please Y/N"

"You think you can just walk in and demand to see my son? After you abandoned us? He isn't a cute puppy, Jack! You can't just find him sweet because you spent five minutes with him and think you can bring your shit storm into our lives. That's not how it works. I don't want him around you, because you are a mess and you will break his heart just like you broke mine!"

"I didn't abandon you, Y/N. Don't be unfair with me!!! All these years, I followed the two of you from afar, I provided you with money and other things you needed.. hell, who do you think managed to get you this apartment lease?" He raised his eyebrow getting on the defensive "I wanna do it the right way, but if you make things hard, I'll get a damn lawyer and you will have to fight your cut ass off to pay for one yourself because I won't rest until I have my boy with me!!!"

You knew Jack, he wasn't bluffing. He was the kind of man who got everything he wanted, but you just couldn't accept he could walk into your home and have a claim on your son after everything that happened, even threatening you to find an attorney.

"It's not the same… money helps but it is not everything, where were you when I was pregnant and alone? When I needed someone to hold my hand and tell me things were fine? Where were you, Jack? When Wyatt had his first fever and I didn't know how I could help him calm down? When he said his first words? When he took his first step? You missed it all out, even if you had given me your whole fortune, nothing pays the memories you lost!"

"I just want to see my son, nothing else Y/N… I don't want you, I don't want our relationship back" he said knowing it would sting you, he couldn't help but make his intentions clear. You two would never be together again, he knew that because you would never take him back, so he thought it was easier to just convince himself of it beforehand.

You, on the other hand, could never be with him again, even if he hadn't done the things he did, there was still no way you could compete with a ghost, you just thought it was easier to convince yourself Jack never stopped loving his first wife and he never would, so your relationship was nothing but an adventure.

You didn't want him to see the tears in your eyes, you didn't want to show how weak you felt at that moment.

Before any of you could say anything else, tiny footsteps interrupted the argument that was about to explode.

"Cowboy!!!" Wyatt said excitedly as he still rubbed his tired eyes but ran to Jack, giggling as he was so easily lifted up into his arms. The toddler was so affectionate, he just wrapped his small arms around his neck once more and rested his head against Jack's shoulder "miss you cowboy!" he giggled happily and snuggled.

You bit your lips and did your best not to cry, but it was pretty much impossible, you couldn't understand why your son liked that man so much without even knowing him. It wasn't fair to you, and you were ashamed to realize you felt jealous.

Jack, on the other hand, felt his heart fill with pure joy for the first time in ages. He quickly kept Wyatt in a warm embrace, loving the smell of his baby shampoo and how cute his PJs were.

His hand rubbed up and down his back as he sat on the couch, letting him relax completely and in a matter of minutes, Wyatt was back in dreamland.

You hated how easy it was for Jack to make your son fall asleep, and how much they already liked each other, it hurt you so much, but you were determined not to let that man get near you again.

_____

A/N: ¿Malparido, no?

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 4 months

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When you have time I had this concept/fic idea.

Maybe y/n and Jack go out to eat with the girls and the waitress leaves her phone number with a heart on the ticket and y/n loses her shit. Tells the girls and Jack she’ll be right back and goes in the distance to cuss the waitress out. Jack is just admiring her with love hahaha and the girls are confused and then they get in the car and Jack is just all smug about it. 🤭

"I'm Such a Big Fan"

"Mama! I can't find my silver sandals!" Aaliyah came running into your bedroom on the verge of tears, just as you were finishing up your makeup. "It's okay, we can find some other shoes for you to wear, baby." You knew she had a hundred pairs of shoes in her closet, but your suggestion did nothing to calm her. "I want to wear them for my date with Daddy! He bought them for me!"

There was a lot to celebrate in the Harlow household lately, with Jack's new single charting across the world, and you hitting the second semester of your pregnancy, so the family was getting ready to go to your favorite restaurant in Louisville.

The girls talked non-stop about how excited they were to go on a date with Jack, but the night was off to a rough start so far. You were battling morning sickness that ironically lasted all day, and getting both girls dressed was proving to be a most difficult task this evening.

"Hey, what's going on? We're gonna be late for our reservation." Jack walked into the bedroom as he adjusted the clasp on his watch, stumbling back as Aaliyah ran to him, clinging to his leg. "I can't find my shoes, daddy", she spoke through sobs. Jack scooped her up in his arms, wiping the tears from her cheek. "Did you look in your room?" She nodded, taking shaky breaths.

Jack gave you a look; you usually knew where everything in the house was, but you could only shrug, as pregnancy brain had wiped your memory clean.

"I found them." Brooklyn walked into the room, Aaliyah's sandals in her hand. "You left them in the bag you took to Nana and Poppa's house."

You let out a sigh, thankful the meltdown was over. "Perfect, thank you, B. Can you help her put them on?" Both girls left the room hand in hand, leaving you and Jack by yourselves.

The look you gave him almost made him call the restaurant to cancel. "We can do this another night, if you want." He knew your pregnancy had been challenging so far, but you'd never complain. "No, the girls are really excited, and I can make it a couple hours." Jack helped you up from your vanity, his hand gently touching your small bump.

"You look beautiful, baby", Jack remarked, pressing a kiss to your temple. You had chosen a long sweater dress because it was quite cold in Kentucky, hoping it would conceal your belly enough that no one at the restaurant would think you were pregnant. You had barely just told your families, and weren't planning on announcing it to the public for another couple weeks. "Thank you, love. You don't look so bad yourself." You ran your hand over the cashmere sweater he was wearing, a cheeky smile on your face.

"Hey! Is that the best you can do?" Jack playfully clutched his chest as if he was hurt. "Don't push it. Let's see how this date goes." You wagged a finger at him as you left the bedroom.

****

"Should I have brought security?" Jack asked at a whisper, leaning into you after you had been sat at your table. "No, I think we're okay, baby." You rubbed his back, trying to reassure him, but you could tell he was nervous.

The restaurant was pretty crowded, so you were glad that Jack had reserved the back room so you could have some privacy. People in Louisville usually gave Jack space in public, especially when he was with his family, but every once in a while there would be an especially bold fan who would try anything to get a photo or autograph, and that had Jack permanently on edge whenever he left the house.

"Daddy! I wanna get the chicken tenders!" Aaliyah was blissfully unaware of her father's fame, and rightfully so, her only concern was whether the restaurant had chicken tenders and mac and cheese. "You don't wanna try something else?", Jack asked as he scanned the menu, "they have really good pasta here to, Liyah." She shook her head, so confident in her decision.

"Nope", she responded as she tucked her feet underneath her bottom. "How about this? I'll get the pasta, and you can try some of mine." Aaliyah was a very picky eater, but if Jack was willing to try it, she was usually more open to trying new things, and you were using that to your advantage to try to expand her pallet.

"Ok, I'll try a little bit", she agreed, narrowing her eyes and pinching her fingers together to show just how little she wanted to eat. "That's my girl." Jack copied her, dramatically pinching his fingers together with a smile, which made her giggle.

Everyone was set on their order when the waitress approached your table. "Good evening, I'm Rachel, I'll be your server tonight. Are you ready to order?" You looked up and immediately noticed that her eyes were fixed on Jack, who was still looking at the menu. Your immediately thought was that she was starstruck and trying to remain professional, but as she took your orders, she was always looking back at Jack, which made you uneasy.

Menus in hand, she continued to linger at the table and everyone seemed to notice except your husband. You squeezed Jack's thigh, a little harder than you intended, his head shooting up to look at you. "Ow, what's wrong?" You gave him a small smile, nodding in the server's direction. "Oh, I think that's it." Jack gave her a smile, and you would have thought she could pass out right there.

"I just wanted to say I'm such a big fan of your music." You could tell she was nervous, and a part of you felt for her. "I've listened to all of your albums." Jack nodded, appreciative to meet a fan. "Thanks, that means a lot." The waitress hurried back to the kitchen, and as soon as she was out of earshot, you couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Jack was genuinely clueless as he looked at everyone. He'd had so many interactions like that over the course of his career, he was immune to the fawning.

"Dad, that girl has a crush on you." Brooklyn thought it was hilarious, and Aaliyah clapped a dramatic hand over her mouth. "What? No she doesn't. She was just being nice." Jack felt the heat start to creep up on his neck out of embarrassment. He hated when women were so brazenly flirtatious with him in front of you. "Mama, are you mad?" Aaliyah asked. She barely knew what flirting was, but she had enough interactions with fans to know when you weren't happy.

"No, baby, I'm not mad. Like Daddy said, she was just being nice." You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to conceal just how irritated you were.

Over the course of dinner, it was becoming more and more obvious just how much your waitress was infatuated with Jack. She checked in way more often than any server normally would, and every time she did, it was to give Jack a compliment or strike up a conversation about his career. He never validated any of her advances, but she was definitely crossing a line, flirting with him in front of his wife and children, and you were starting to get pissed off.

After a while, Jack finally caught on, but he didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so when he noticed your mood turn sour, he tried to diffuse the situation. "Its fine, baby", he whispered, kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear, "I love you." Tears started to sting your eyes, and while you knew it was just your pregnancy hormones making you overreact, you just wanted to get out of the restaurant. "I love you too." You avoided eye contact so he wouldn't see you start to tear up.

Jack called for the check, and after what felt like forever, the server returned with the receipt. "Thank you so much, and again, it was so good to meet you." She winked at Jack, and everyone at the table froze out of fear. Brooklyn's eyes grew wide as she looked at you, waiting to see how you would respond, but you just smiled. You were over the night, and just wanted to go home. "Let's go." You stood and caught something out of the corner your eye, Jack quickly trying to hide the paper in his wallet, but you snatched it before he could tuck it away. The waitress had scribbled her number on the receipt with a heart and a note to "call her".

"Babe, just let it go." Jack tried to catch your gaze, but you were already burning a whole through the waitress' back across the room. "I'll be right back." He didn't even try to stop you, chuckling to himself as he stood and helped the girls put on their coats. "Daddy? Is Mama crying?", Aaliyah asked as Jack picked her up. "No, but someone will be soon. Let's go to the car and wait for her."

All of the other servers were cowering with fear as you approached your waitress, but she just had a smug look on her face. "I just wanted to commend you for your service tonight. Do you leave your number for all of your customers?" You knew you could destroy her easily, but you were looking for an outlet for your frustrations. "I'm sorry, I just saw my opportunity and decided to take it."

You let out a humorless breath. "Listen hun, that man has two children with me, a third on the way", you made a point to accentuate your bump, "and he is very happily married. If you fuckin' ever try to flirt with him, give him your number, or even look in his direction again, I will make sure that you never work at another restaurant in this town. Understand?" The smile dropped from her face, and you felt a surge of satisfaction as she nodded. "Good. I know the owner very well. You better pray you have a job tomorrow."

Jack had a cocky smile on his face as you got into the car. "Everything okay?" He got a lot of satisfaction out of seeing you get jealous over him, especially because it was usually the reverse, Jack having to swallow his pride when a number of guys hit on you when you were in public. He leaned over, giving you a quick kiss. "You're so sexy when you get like this, babe." He kept his voice low so the girls couldn't hear him. You rolled your eyes, making him laugh.

"Baby, call Neelam and tell her that news about our pregnancy will be out tomorrow." Jack shot you a look, his face riddled with worry. "What did you do?"

You winced, knowing you'd made a mistake in the heat of the moment. "I may or may not have let it slip when I was cussing our waitress out."

Tag-List:

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@exoticr0ses

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@itsyagirljaz

@hoodharlow

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@fluidsentiment

@comehomeimissyou

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jackharlow #jackman harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow fanfic

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junnieverse · 7 months

Text

✧ — JUNNIEVERSE PRODUCTIONS

PRESENTS !

" spill your guts "

... Olivia Rodrigo's GUTS album

x ENHYPEN !

WELCOME 💌 : hi everyone, so this is officially my first ever series so thank you very much for being here. I am without a doubt in love with not only olivia's sour album but her guts album too that has been on repeat on my spotify every day. I soon grew inspired to write some oneshots for the enhypen members with songs from this album and I can only hope you all like them.

I also wanted to make sure that these songs gave off a vibe that linked to a certain member and I could easily think of a plot with that member and the song so it wasn't easy since I wanted it to all come out 'perfect' but albeit it was also really fun to immerse myself into these songs and write the stories so I just hope that you all enjoy my work.

I do want to give a small disclaimer too that this is ofcourse pure fictional work and I do not in any way perceive the members to be as toxic or have any traits like how they are in these stories. (Y/n) isn't much of a saint either in a few of these but they are simply a wounded character. Don't hate the character, hate their actions (well maybe we can tomato this toxic enha /hj).

once again, thank you all so much, I appreciate your support greatly :)

— this is mars signing out !

PAIRING : enhypen x reader

GENRE : angst , slightly suggestive , very little to no fluff

WARNINGS : toxic enhypen , mentions of infidelity , mentions of alcohol/drinking , swearing , mentions of insecurities , possibly suggestive language being used , etc

STATUS : ongoing

TAGLIST : open

(either comment or send an ask to be added, no dms pls)

✧ — [ 6 / 7 ] members completed !

✦ track 01 : logical

⨾ featuring yang jungwon

— you had known from the beginning that your relationship with jungwon was far from perfect, many would simply put it as toxic because of how manipulative he was but you were too blinded by love that all the lies and deceit felt meaningless. it was too late before you realised how dysfunctional it all was, love wasn't logical after all.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 02 : making the bed

⨾ featuring lee heeseung

— he was unattainable and yet you still wanted him. pretending to be someone you weren't putting yourself in difficult positions simply for his attention. with every move you made, it seemed you were digging yourself a deeper hole for a one sided love and through it all you were losing not only the people who cared about you but yourself.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 03 : the grudge

⨾ featuring park jongseong

— "forgive and forget" they'd say, if only they knew it wasn't that easy. jay was one of the people you trusted the most and he only betrayed your trust, no matter how much you tried to forgive him, you knew it would take alot of strength to heal from what he put you through and letting go of the grudge you held against him would be a long journey.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 04 : get him back !

⨾ featuring sim jaeyun

— despite having ended things with jake you were conflicted between hating the man and loving him all in one. you missed all the happy memories between the two of you but it was even harder to forget all the hurt he put you through. revenge is best served sweet, maybe it's time you get him back!

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 05 : bad idea right ?

⨾ featuring park sunghoon

— you were completely over sunghoon, no feelings for him whatsoever... or atleast that's what you would tell your friends. he was no good for you and yet no matter how many other guys came your way, sunghoon was the only one on your mind, maybe reconnecting as 'friends' would be fine, it wasn't a bad idea... right?

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 06 : love is embarrassing

⨾ featuring kim sunoo

— you felt like a complete fool. you told everyone he was 'the one' but seeing sunoo with someone else hit you like a truck. it was humiliating having to deal with the fact that you so easily fell for him and yet he had his eyes set on someone else. you knew you had to let him go and yet you were still holding on onto false hope.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

✦ track 07 : vampire

⨾ featuring nishimura riki

— the ever so loved and popular ni-ki, cherished and adored by everyone for his fame and popularity and yet here you were laughing bitterly at how naïve and blinded you were by him. he would tell you how much he loved you but it had already been too late before you realised how he used you to get where he was, draining everything in you like a vampire.

ꗃ you can read it [ here ]

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simplydannie · 18 days

Text

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 5

Cover art by @skydiverdrawings! Thanks again for bringing it to life ❤️

Velvet and Veneer have spent some time in the underbelly of Mount Rageous. Things have not gotten easier. Velvet is driven mad by the side of effects of poisoned…. Her target, her own brother.

Veneer is scared and fears he’s lost his sister…hopeless, he suddenly stumbles across a familiar face.

Velvet continued to go through violent rampages. The poison feeding into her anger and frustration… especially towards her brother. She felt guilty though. Her brother has done nothing but support her.

One night, her and Veneer lay asleep…that’s when the memories came, that’s when the poison would work. Her dreams would come, the memories of their life of fame, the limelight, the fans, the money, the adoration. She was somebody at last. Then that fretful day:

Listen up Mount Rageouns. We. Are. Frauds!

The words escaped her brother's mouth before she could fully react…and just like that, it was taken away. All for the sudden nobility of her dear brother. Idiot! I hate him! He’d ruin everything since the day they were both born. He took away the attention of their parents because of his sickness as a child. Velvet lived in his shadow because of it. She had to grow up quickly to take care of him and she didn’t know till now that she resented him for it. Velvet had finally got them out from the below the cloud line, and they were back to nothing!

Who could they face? Who could they go to? Their reputation was just as bad down here as it was up in Mount Rageous. All because of her stupid, stupid, brother!

“I hate you…”

“I HATE YOU!!!”

“Velvet! Velvet! Stop please!”

When her mind came to she was on top of Veneer, beating him senselessly….again. Blood dripped from his nose and mouth, a bruise was beginning to form on his cheek. How long had she been beating him? She stared at him intently. She tried to stop, but deep inside, she had no desire to stop. Velvet wanted Veneer to feel the pain she has been feeling…. And the poison fed into that desire.

She began to strike him again.

“This is all your freaking fault!!! You stupid, stupid idiot!” She swung and hit. Veneer did his best to deflect her punches. He grabbed her wrists and held her back as much as he could.

“Vels this isn’t you! Please, wake up!” He screamed. Her eyes glowed with a pink pigmentation all around. Veneer has seen this before…at the Rage Dome show. She was going mad, he had to put a stop to it before he lost her… but he’s afraid he already had.

Veneer dared not hurt his sister, he didn’t want too. Using his force against her, he was able to push her off. Velvet fell off the bed and on her back, rage still in her eyes.

“Stop it Vels!” Veneer screamed, hoping some sense would come into his sister. But it didn’t seem that she wanted stop, she wanted to physically hurt him. She began grabbing anything she could around to throw at him. A few things hit, but others missed.

“Get over here now!” She demanded as she chased him around the little rundown complex. Veneer ran out the bedroom door, closing it behind him. He held on tight as Velvet violently tried to open it. Using his foot, he placed a chair in front of the door…. It would only hold so long until she would break free…. But that gave him enough time to run.

He ran out the rundown little complex they were able to find, he ran and ran. There was really no sense of direction, he had to get far away from Velvet for now, as far away as he could.

…. After awhile he didn’t know how far he ran through the dark, cybernetic streets of Under Rageous. He ran into an alley, crouched behind a dumpster, and cried. He had never felt so alone…. Did he really ruin everything? All he wanted to do was save his sister, but he feared he was too late for that. Veneer wanted to get them out of the grasps of their manager, those people up top that were only using them, but still they were not safe down here… they were being hunted. He missed Floyd. Veneer regretted everything they put him through. He desperately wanted to find the Troll and apologize for EVERYTHING.

Veneer cried for what seemed like forever, his eyes stinging and growing tired…. Until he heard voices growing near… shouting voices…

“Get that Troll!”

Veneer lifted his head just in time to see a small little being run by the opening of the alley. It was followed by two Under Rageouns, pale skin and eyes glowing. He pursed his lips, clenched his fists, and got up to follow….

Branch ran and ran. He didn’t know how far or for how long he could last. His small body would not outlast the giant Rageouns that pursued him. He had gone a long while unnoticed after his escape, trying to find a way out, but instead stumbled upon the neon glowing eyed Rageouns.

With each step they got closer and closer. Branch turned into an alley… dead end.

“He ran in here!” He heard their voices. Branch grew desperate. There was really nothing he ship his hair around. He jumped behind some boxes, hoping they’ll overlook everything and leave.

“We saw you come down here you little rodent! Nowhere to hide!” He heard them kicking and over turning things. Oh no, they’ll find me, he said. Branch balled his little fists. What were the odds really of him winning over two giant Rageouns? Nothing, but he was prepared. He heard the noises get closer and closer. Then suddenly…. He heard commotion. Branch could hear the Radeon’s struggling against something or rather someone. In only lasted a moment before it settled and stopped.

“Hello?” He heard a voice call out…. The voice seemed all to familiar, but the little Troll didn’t budge.

“Hello? I’m not here to hurt you.” The voice called out again. Where had Branch heard it before? Branches thoughts were ruined when the box he was hiding under suddenly was lifted.

“COME ON!” He was ready to fight. But he stopped when his eyes fell upon a familiar Rageoun face: pale porcelain skin, deep blue eyes, green swooped hair under a purple beanie.

“Hey! I think I remember you!” The boy exclaimed.

“Veneer?”

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greg-montgomery · 1 year

Text

Your love is in trouble

pic by: @masterwords

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: You agreed to go on a date for the first time after breaking up with your boyfriend, Aaron - it’s not going well.

based on this post <3

Warnings: angst ❤️‍🔥 lmfaoo

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Hitting the shuffle button after picking a playlist to keep you company while getting ready turned out to be a huge mistake. You can never know if your and your ex’s song might randomly play, making you cry - just an hour before your first date with another man.

First date: first in every sense of the word. Your first date with this Ryan guy, your first date after him. Him, Aaron Hotchner, your Aaron, the man you had been trying for months now to get over.

You felt embarrassed, using a q-tip to fix your mascara, as the tears started to fill the corners of your eyes. This was a first date, you should have been smiling and dancing to happy songs and giggling while texting your friends about Ryan. Not crying over your ex-boyfriend, again.

The song was still playing and you knew you should have just turn it off, but you hadn’t let yourself listen to it in so long, and deep down you wanted to let yourself drown in your memories of him. No matter how much it hurt.

You stared at Aaron as he put the pizza in the oven. Two years and you still couldn’t get enough of his broad shoulders. As soon as he turned around, you walked straight into his arms and pulled him into a tight hug, your face buried in the crook of his neck.

The romantic song that was playing in the background fit the moment perfectly. You started whispering the lyrics against his skin, meaning every single word.

“This song reminds me of you,” you said. “Of us.”

He didn’t answer immediately, you guessed he was paying attention to the lyrics.

A few moments later he finally spoke. “We should dance to it then.”

Aaron took your hand and gave you a little spin, before pulling you against his body, swinging both of you slowly to the rhythm of the song.

“I love you,” he whispered, leaving a sweet kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you too, honey.”

“It’s really growing on me,” he said, referring to the song. “We should dance to it on our wedding.”

“Aaron!” you whined, and let your head drop on his chest.

He chuckled and pulled you closer, always loving seeing you flustered.

You would never forgive the two of you for ruining the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to you. You let work schedules and stupid fights get between two people in love.

The sound of a notification from your phone disturbed your thoughts. It was your best friend.

Ready for tonight? :)

You sighed, and dropped the phone on your bed. She was the reason you had agreed to go on that damn date. “You can’t cry over him forever,” “It’s time to move on, my love,” “If you don’t give him a chance, how will you know?”

The fact that you felt pathetic and lonely had also contributed to you saying yes. Maybe Ryan wouldn’t be that bad, after all.

Except he was. Well, maybe not bad. But he wasn’t Aaron and you made the mistake of comparing Ryan to him in every one of his moves.

He didn’t pull out your chair like Aaron always did, he got offended by your sarcastic comments instead of replying with the same energy, he didn’t fight you when you offered to split the bill, and he didn’t insist on driving you home himself. You figured he got mad because you declined his offer to join him for a drink to his place and that was why he didn’t even wait for you to call a taxi.

For some reason, though, you hadn’t called a taxi yet. Instead you were standing outside the restaurant, staring at a contact you hadn’t dared to call in a very long time.

“Honey 🧡”

Okay, maybe it was toxic that you hadn’t changed the name of his contact yet – or that you hadn’t deleted it at all – but you had never claimed to be perfect.

You took a deep breath and called his number, fast, so you wouldn’t have time to think this rationally and change your mind.

Aaron answered your call even faster.

“Hello?”

Your eyes closed at the sound of his deep voice. You had missed him.

“Aaron?”

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”

There were a lot of things you could have said, but talking with him broke your heart all over again, and you started crying; your sobs making it hard for you to speak clearly. “Can you uhm…can you come pick me up, Aaron?”

“Tell me where you are.”

It was impossible for you to stop crying, so there were still tears in your eyes when Aaron arrived and parked his car right in front of you. You got in quickly, doing your best to avoid eye contact.

The car smelled like his cologne; a comforting scent to you, helping you to calm down.

He started the car, without saying a word. You didn’t dare to speak either, but you could tell by the direction of the car, he was driving you home.

“I was on a date,” you finally said.

His knuckles turned white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Did he do anything to you?” he asked, coldly.

“No.”

A deep sigh escaped him, and it was clear that it was a sigh of relief.

“Why did you call me, Y/N?”

“I miss you,” you admitted. “I was crying about you before my date. I am crying now that it’s over. I’m tired.”

Aaron was silent and you felt panic taking over your body. “I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. Or if there’s someone in your life-”

“There’s no one else,” he cut you off.

You wished you were a profiler like him; to be able to read him and his reactions. Was he angry? Was he annoyed? Was he over you? Closed off Aaron was your least favourite Aaron. You wanted to know him, to understand him.

“Aaron, talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, frustrated.

“How you feel!” you said.

“I’m upset you called.”

“Okay,” you said, softly. “I understand.”

His silence was driving you crazy, so you spoke again. “Thank you for coming even though I upset you.”

“I’ll always come when you call,” he answered. How could he say such sweet words with such a cold tone? You missed the days where he’d call you his love with a voice sweet like honey.

When you finally arrived at your place, Aaron got out of the car first and before you even had the chance to unbuckle your seat belt, he was opening the door for you.

Standing in front of him, you finally looked into his eyes. Yours were shinning with tears still, and you swore Aaron almost said something about it.

“Well…thank you again. And, I’m really sorry for upsetting you. It was immature of me to call you like that. It’s just been hard, you know?”

Aaron simply nodded.

“Okay…goodnight then,” you said, defeated, and turned around.

But as you did, you felt Aaron wrapping his hand around your wrist, pulling you back and into his arms.

You let yourself break down completely, your face buried in his chest. His arms tightened around you, and you thought you could stay like that with him forever. It was safe and warm in his embrace, so you cried and sobbed while he rubbed your back in soothing circles.

“Shh…” he said. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“You’re here.”

“I am.”

“Don’t ever leave me again,” you begged him.

“I won’t. I promise, my love,” he promised, and pulled back just enough to finally kiss your lips the way you’d been dying to.

“Let’s go inside, okay?”

“Okay.”

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #hotch 🪐

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kitorin · 10 months

Text

one more time.

contents. 6.031k words (gave up on proof reading i'm sorry-), second chance romance, hurt to comfort, author + psychologist reader, swearing, nsfw (not smut just mentions), getting drunk, one nightmare, abandonment issues, kaiser’s terrible with people, it takes a while for kaiser to appear

part two to this

a/n. i guess you could read this as a stand alone, but a lot of the details won't make as much sense (like they'd have a lot more relevance and meaning if you've read part 1). and you're being referred to by your first name by your nephew for the sake of keeping it gn

"y/n?"

Your nephew's question brings some of your attention towards him, with the rest focusing on the road. Rain droplets raced along the windows, and he must've gotten bored of guessing which one was the fastest.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"When are you getting married?"

The innocent yet so significant question made you choke on your own spit. It was unexpected for a child to not gag at the idea of intimacy and love, let alone one questioning your marital status.

"Why are you asking something like that?" You carefully dodge the question, given that you have little to no experience with any sort of romance, the closest to love was an eternity ago. Despite graduating from college already, nothing about that had changed.

"Well." He begins explaining himself. "Mama and papa met each other in high school, they got married when they were younger than you." Unlike you, your sibling had a quite successful love life, already married and with a child. The fact that they were even high school sweethearts seemed to only accentuate your sorrowful envy.

"Your parents were lucky. Not everyone gets to meet the person they love forever in high school. Even if they do not everyone ends up marrying them." It was a difficult approach. You wanted him to fully understand the possible outcomes of love but didn't want him to avoid it entirely. "Love is dumb luck. Sadly, not everyone ends up loving someone who loves them back."

"Hmm." He sounds like he's deep in thought, which also surprised you given that he was still young and oblivious to these sorts of discussions. "Were you unlucky? Is that why you're not married?"

The query stung a bit. Not necessarily because it hurt to be reminded of him, but because it wasn't mere misfortune. It was ultimately up to him to act that way.

"Hmm, I guess. Your father got all the luck I suppose." You chuckle, an attempt to conceal that your heart was begging for some sort of closure, even after all this time.

"But that's not fair."

A sigh leaves your lips as you continue. "It isn't. But that's just life."

"What happened to them? Did they not like you?"

"They did at one point. I think. It was pretty obvious but after I liked them back, they became a bad person" It felt so weird. You've bottled up all the memories and emotions, sealing them away from the world, yet with this tiny child you've decided to open up. It's odd, but not uncomfortable.

"They're dumb."

"You can't say that. It's not their fault for not liking me-"

"But you're amazing. You always spend time with me since Mama and Papa are too busy to. You bring back yummy snacks and tell the best stories. You even teach me so many new things. You're the best person ever."

Although misery from the past had been reawakened and nurtured at the topic of the conversation, his kindness seemed to combat that, you can't help but grin.

"I'm glad you appreciate that."

"You deserve better!"

That makes your breath hitch up, a weird, indescribable sensation accumulates in your chest, and for the first time in a while your eyes begin to prickle.

You blink away the sensation. Three, simple words uttered by a literal child, yet it seems to affect you so much to the point you're moved to tears.

Because no one ever told you that.

No accusations of you being delusional and crazy. No sort of discomfort inflicted through others attempting to make it public.

It was what you've been waiting to hear for so long.

"Thanks bud. Keep this a secret from everyone else, yeah?" You come to a stop at a red light, turning towards him with a grateful smile.

He mimes zipping his lips. "Of course!"

"I know everyone's asking about me getting married, but it won't happen."

"Why?"

"Because." Because you feel undeserving of it. Because you're terrified of being abandoned like that again. Because you're simply just scared. "Because it just won't. I'd rather focus on making sure you and your parents are happy."

"Am I supposed to do that when I'm older?"

"Maybe not to my level. Make sure you treasure your family, but your lover too." Now that piece of advice makes you wonder what it'd be like if you got lucky.

"I don't want to get married even if I'm lucky. I want to be cool like you and take care of family too."

"Then do that. But don't close off your heart completely. Your dad didn’t think of love when he was a kid, look at him now. But it's completely okay if you don't love anyone." Obviously, you'd support him no matter what, but a part of you desperately wished that he'd be lucky enough to never experience what you did.

He nods but changes the topic. "What about you? You seemed happy when you talked about that person. A different kind of happy."

What was that supposed to mean?

"It's just nostalgia."

"That's a hard word. What does it mean?"

"You'll learn when you're older. Promise." And with that you dodge the topic of love, adjusting the conversation to one about the new Doraemon episode he watched the other day.

"Holy shit Ness look at how good they are at this."

"Fucking useless."

"Please help me with trig, I'm begging you. Really? Thank you so much."

"That's such a bitch move. Class average was so low, yet they're still scared of showing their high B. Fucking pussy."

"I love you."

Fuck.

Another nightmare. It's only a mess of his words, both the good and the bad; followed by overwhelming dread and fear swallowing you. A wave of relentless cold engulfing you and drowning you in the depths of torment.

The dream leaves you drenched in sweat and panting. It doesn't fucking make sense. It's been years, you were only kids and now you're an adult. Yet it still leaves you so affected. You don't even clearly remember what he looked like. Only the cerulean orbs and the blonde wolf cut.

Most people brush off any sort of heartbreak in high school as trivial and temporary, yet yours has clung onto your heart so persistently, that it still constantly haunts you.

Nothing's working. Attempting to date others only accentuated your paranoia and abandonment issues. Trying to open up to trusted ones caused the words to get stuck in your throat, to the point it feels suffocating. You even wrote an entire book about it; sure, it was effective in expressing yourself and it was a huge hit and profitable, but something deep down still hurts.

You keep trying and trying, heart craving for closure. But the only way you'd satisfy that miserable desire is through meeting him.

Only you know that so damn well.

Maybe that's why you keep fiercely trying. It's your own way of hopelessly trying to escape him.

But it's futile. It's so draining.

It doesn't matter though. It should stop soon. It's such a stupid thing to be sad over. You're successful, a now bestselling author known for your beauteous expression of love and hurt, while still working as a psychologist. You've achieved something majority of people couldn't do, and you're seeing the fruits of diligence and hard work. But it still hurts.

You do your best to shrug off this sense of dread, focusing on what's important.

"Thank you for today!"

Your nephew wore his signature grin, one that was adorable and so full of joy. It was almost impossible to not smile back at him.

With the commencement of school holiday, you decided to take him to a nearby soccer match, France vs Germany. You didn't know anything about soccer, but he loves the sport, constantly practicing and rambling about Julian Loki (a.k.a. his favourite player of all time) You got extremely lucky, if it weren't for Yoichi and his connections to the JFA you wouldn't've been able to surprise your nephew. Yoichi wasn't prepared to see you constantly thank him ("You're my closest friend, your nephew's a good kid too. Lemme coach him some day!"). He even managed to get you three VIP seats.

"Yocchan, how do I win more? I want to shoot the most goals in my team!"

You passively listen to Yoichi's advice for your nephew, as you can't understand or contribute to the conversation much. It's impressive how people play with this many people watching. The whole stadium was flooded with people, except for the VIP section but that was purely due to how expensive it was.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to France vs Germany!" The commentator booms, earning a cheer from everyone. You expected it to be loud, but not to the point you think your eardrums would burst.

The event went on normally. Player names were read out, with an energetic screech from your nephew when it was Loki's turn. At this point in time, you were pretty laid back, given that you recognized no one.

"Aaaaand Germany's ace and forward, Michael Kaiser!"

You froze.

Michael Kaiser, the Michael Kaiser from back then?

Finally, you have a vivid image of what he looks like. His blonde hair was partially dyed blue, the pretty shade slowly fading out, and navy roses decorated his neck. Red eyeliner adorned his almost feline like eyes. He looks almost unrecognizable yet he's still the boy who had a crush on you.

Suddenly, VIP seats weren't so tempting anymore. Suddenly, you want to drag yourself out of there and ask Yoichi to supervise your nephew.

But he still looks beautiful.

"I hate that bitch." Same Yoichi, same, you silently agree with him. "He's insufferable and a fucking prick."

"Language." Although you'd agree with him, it was a bit too early for your nephew to start speaking like Yoichi (though you wouldn’t mind him learning how to verbally defend himself from Yoichi).

It's only 90 minutes. There's over 20,000 people. Kaiser won't notice. Besides, high school was years ago. He's a professional player and seemingly a famous one, he would've met plenty of players and coaches, too many to even remember your existence.

You suck up your fear, the three of you cheering on Loki.

"Do you think I can be like Loki?"

The game concluded, and to your nephew's joy with France's win, 3 - 2. To be honest, you were still clueless about the sport, but you could at least tell Loki lived up to his name, rapidly scoring and leaving his opponents in the dust.

"Of course, you could be better than him!" You appreciate Isagi's support but that probably wasn't the right thing to say in an environment full of soccer fans. Nor the smartest.

"I'm going to head to the bathroom, I'll meet you outside." You hurry away, ready to get out of the stadium.

You were being too paranoid earlier, obviously nothing would happen. To a national athlete like him, someone he hurt all the way back in high school, someone who he entirely ignored for a few years too.

"Fucking found you."

As if the universe was transpiring against you once more, you're dragged into some unknown corridor, a hand silencing you.

It's him.

Michael Kaiser, now a full-grown adult. His high school popularity bloomed into real world fame and glory now. While your success had sprouted from seeds of hurt.

Now you're pressed up against a wall by him again. This time with his arms having an iron grip on your shoulders, roughly pushing you against the wall.

You can't help but reflect on last time something like this happened. But instead of childish affection it’s aggressive and rough, with his aquamarine eyes clouded with something unreadable. That wasn't particularly new, but what changed was that the foreign but hostile glint flickering in them.

All Kaiser does is stare, hair messy from the match and breathing unstable.

You don't say anything either, you can't even think properly, let alone find the right words to say.

"I've waited for this for so fucking long. You're too distracting."

His arms wrap around you, tightly, as if his life depended on it.

You can't move. Your body won't let you. It's not like you were petrified with fear. It was more so all the conflict of emotions. You weren't sure if you wanted to reciprocate the hug, scream for help, or spit in his face and swear at him.

"Kaiser... Please let go."

He abides, partially, changing back to his original position of holding you against the wall.

"No."

"Please?”

" You always fight back when you're uncomfortable." He wasn't wrong, you didn't exactly hate being in his proximity. You hated how he treated you, and how he's suddenly here again.

"You don’t mind this, right?”

Despite his words, his releases you, allowing you to run away whenever.

But you don't.

Because even though it'd be smarter to run away and never see him again, the tiny hope within you is still pleading for closure, and Kaiser himself.

"Kaiser, I can't, my nephew-"

"Is with Yoichi." Kaiser brings his face a lot closer to yours. "If you wanted to run away, you would've already."

Both of you remain silent, as your cheeks heat up at his touch and presence. His hands reach towards your face to caress your cheeks, the roughness of his calloused hands contrasting your soft skin. Annoyingly, you whimper at the unfamiliar sensation. It earns a cocky smirk from him.

"Cute, you really haven't changed."

"I don’t want to see you."

"Why? We both know you would've already kicked and slapped me if you really hated me."

"Because" Because he scarred you beyond words. "Because you hurt me. A lot." Your voice cracks up at the end, he's the one person you didn't want to be vulnerable around, both before and after heartbreak.

For the first time in forever, there's something vaguely readable in his eyes. Was that regret? Sorrow? Guilt? Empathy, even?

"I know, I could tell-"

"Then why did you do it?"

You've given up on sounding stoic, evident anger was displayed in your voice.

"I tried everything, dating other people. Yet you still haunt me to this day." Years of accumulated feelings were finally released. "Just when I finally figured out, I liked you, you fucking did that then, and then." The rest is cut off by him.

"... You liked me back...?" There's a significant shift in his tone, from cocky and confident to vulnerable and shocked. "You, liked me...?"

"Of course I fucking did Michael." A quiet gasp leaves his lips at the sound of you finally using his first name again. "You were so sweet and was always there no matter what, until you decided to hate me for no reason."

"No, I've never hated you-"

"Just stop lying. Please. First you lie about loving me and now-"

He swallows the rest of your words with a kiss, denying your claim. The kiss gives you butterflies, your cheeks heat up even more and his lips taste you and him; sweet and irresistible.

When he's done his face is flushed as well, lips swollen. His chest rises up and down, he seems more flustered from the kiss rather than the actual match itself.

It's back to the uncomfortable silence, his hands gripping your shoulders tight and various emotions clouding your mind and heart.

Without a word, Kaiser just leaves.

The action evokes a nostalgic yet dreaded emotion, it's just like how he initiates whatever he wants without considering anyone else.

You swallow your hurt, leaving the hallway and finding Yoichi and your nephew.

You don't lie to your loved ones. You’d rather die than deceive your nephew or your best friend Yoichi. But tonight, was an exception.

It's not like you wanted to make Yoichi baby sit your nephew ("Sorry, work suddenly called me in), but you were too hurt to spend time with anyone.

The bar's loud, all the noise drowns out your thoughts, as you're up to the nth bottle of alcohol, no one was keeping track.

It's out of character for you to drink so much, but the state of being disconnected from the world, not having to deal with any worries was irresistible.

"You're drinking a lot." A stranger seated next to you comments, you don't bother questioning who they were.

"I desherve it." You slur out, evidently flat out wasted. "I hate men! Especially the German ones." A few glares were probably received after you said that.

"Why's that?" Their calm tone juxtaposed your upset and livid one.

"Because, because, this bitch leaves me heartbroken for years, appears out of nowhere, kisses me and." You're cut off by a hiccup. "Disappears again! I, I-" You're a complete mess, hiccupping while chugging down alcohol, and now sobbing with tears messing up your expression.

The stranger doesn't respond, taking a quick sip from his own glass.

"Did you know," You begin explaining, despite them not asking. "I did so much. I never wanted to date much but I tried to so I could forget him. I even went to a party, and I'm scared of those. Heck, I wrote a whole ass book! At least I can monetize my pain."

"You must hate this guy."

"Beyond words, he's the reason why I think everyone will leave me, but I still feel like I have some kind of hope. If you want to know more, you should read my book." Now you were self-promoting, but the alcohol diminishes your shame. At this point it wouldn't be surprising if people were concerned about how much you've drank. "There's no point of a stupid psychology honours degree if I can't fix myself."

All they do is chuckle, still calm. "I'll read it, and I'm sure he likes you back if he kissed you. There's nothing about you to fix."

You burst into laughter; you sound borderline manic. "That's what I thought after he said he loved me." Another glass, swallowed down by you with ease.

"After all, there's no way the Michael Kaiser would actually love me."

The next morning you wake up, with a splitting headache and swollen eyes.

You try to get up and get started with the day, but the lights are so blinding, only amplifying the splitting headache.

How much did you drink?

Now you start remembering last night, the (probably) unhealthy amount you drank, your inconsolable bawling and that mysterious yet kind stranger. Your immediate reaction is to grab your pillow with plans of screaming into it, out of embarrassment, praying that you'll never meet that person again and that they'll forget who you are.

Wait.

Since when were your pillow cases white?

And where did your bookcase go? What about the drawings from your nephew and childhood you cherished and decorated your room with? And what happened to your clothes, since when did you own white robes?

Shit.

"Finally awake?"

Your eyes have finally adjusted to the light, and blinding white melts into something, no, someone.

Kaiser.

He's seated at the end of the bed, white robe matches yours, with his exposing his toned and muscular chest, and the navy roses blooming on his neck.

What the hell happened.

It's as if your fight or flight response was triggered, and your brain decided on flight with full confidence, you scurry backwards, avoiding him like the plague.

"Did we-?" The new and completely different outfit and waking up in his bed were obvious hints.

He blinks.

There's no fucking way.

"Did you at least use protection? If I get fucking chlamydia because of you, I'll ki-"

Kaiser laughs. So hard that it sounds like he can barely breathe.

"I didn't say we slept together. The y/n who never understood anything remotely sexual, instantly assuming we went that far." He composes himself, "No, we did not fuck. You were too drunk to consent."

"Then..." Your hands grip at the robe.

"Nothing happened. All I did was give you that to change into"

Alright, now you've confirmed that you don't need to get tested for any STDs or STIs.

"Goodbye then, where's my stuff?" As you try to get up, his hand holds you and your shoulder down, denying your question.

"Don't run away."

It's so ironic for him to tell you that when he stopped talking to you, avoided you, and even went as far as treating you badly. Anyone would want to run away if their first love who had scarred them emotionally randomly reappeared in their lives.

You remind yourself to remain rational, to stay calm and respond maturely, to deescalate the cascading sentiments overwhelming your heart, like a proper, polite, and perceptive adult.

But you don't want to be an adult. Not when it feels exactly like your high school years, ones where you had stayed up late just to innocently fawn over Michael Kaiser. Only for your heart to be a toy, one that he had thrown away and ruined merely because he had enough of playing with it.

You're a scared teenager alone in your room again, fearful of everything, heart closed off to the point not even you could fully comprehend what it was feeling.

You just want to run, to run away from all your problems until they'd give up hunting you down, until they found other prey to pursue, until you could live at peace with your scars.

When people mention 'confronting your fears', most would imagine someone fearless and undisturbed, someone who knows what they're doing. Yet you completely contrast that curated image, a troubled individual who wants to return to how they were before their irremediable suffering.

"Don't give me that crap. You're the one who fucking did that to me."

He's the one who decided to poison you with the suffocating fear of abandonment.

"You never cared for me in any way, why should I bother listening to you now?"

To break your heart was one thing. To do it out of nowhere without explanation after years of captivating affection was another.

Kaiser remains silent, expression still stoic.

"I hate you."

That's what you've told and convinced yourself for so many years, yet something inside of you refused to fall for your self-inflicted dishonestly. The part that miserably prayed that Michael Kaiser would one day go back to the boy who was head over heels for you.

You've managed to forget this torment for years, but all he's doing is ruining it, making it even more difficult to get over him and the indescribable hole in your heart.

But now, it doesn't seem like you're the only hurt one.

By the end of your speech, you're panting, despite only staying still in bed. You still have so much more to say, but you're already in disbelief that you've finally expressed the hardships plaguing you, and to the reason for said burdens.

"Why'd you hurt me?" And it finally happens. Tears. Ones that had hid from the world, cowering at the thought of another witnessing this pathetic vulnerability. “Everything would be so much easier if you never appeared again, but you had to randomly appear again to kiss me, only leave again.”

He finally speaks. Voice equally soft and weak as yours. “I know I did. And I know it wasn’t right. But I never wanted to, I never wanted you to hate me or end up hurt. I’ve always wanted the opposite.” Kaiser shuffles closer, hand inching closer towards yours, not daring enough to hold onto it.

He inhales, deeply, as if this whole ordeal had an emotional toll on him too.

“I didn’t avoid you because I hated you, or wanted you to get hurt. I wasn’t trying to play with your emotions either. I was young and foolish.” For the first time, he’s readable, evident sorrow painting his features. Right now, he was a complete juxtaposition of his image on the field, assertive and lionhearted to now frightened and uncertain.

He’s not done yet. “I’ve always liked you, from the day we started talking. I wanted to love you properly, to take you out on nice dates and to be a boyfriend no one could ever compare to. I was just… scared.” The Michael Kaiser admitting to fear was something new. “Scared of ending up as a disappointing lover or you never reciprocating. I ran away yesterday because I was a coward. But I don’t want to stay as one. I refuse to."

Kaiser continues. “It feels unreal, the idea of you liking me back when you’re so perfect. You’ve always been mature, diligent, and hardworking, your future seemed so bright with how academically proficient you were. At the time I was so unsure of myself and felt so inferior, it doesn’t justify anything I’ve done but I wanted to rather hurt instead of being hurt.”

“You, think I’m perfect…?” It’s such an innocent question. The praise seemed to melt away the resentment accumulated within your heart, and momentarily you forget wanting to leave.

“Of course, I do.” There’s still the same vulnerability in his expression, but this time it’s complemented with a soft smile. “I mean, look at you. You always got the top marks, and you’ve achieved a dream of entering the psychology field. I still love what you wrote about PSTD.”

How did he know that?

“I never mentioned my job.” He still remembers that one piece you wrote, a task that your English teacher had given. You were allowed to write anything you wanted to, and that was the birth of that PTSD essay, which Kaiser had found impressive for the level of detail it had.

“Your books state it.”

And how does he know about those too? You used a pen name for privacy and to avoid any attention to your personal life and loved ones.

“I never mentioned being an author.”

“You certainly did last night. I quote ‘you should read my book’.”

Wait.

A wave of realization crashed over you, the poor individual you complained to about Michael Kaiser was Michael Kaiser himself. Now the memories are flooding in, the declarations of hate, the miserable murmuring, and your stupidly embarrassing behaviour.

But even after recalling all the events and details of that night, you don’t remember providing a title and your pen name. It’s a complete secret, not even Yoichi or your own family know.

“I didn’t tell you the novel name though?”

Kaiser’s now grinning, but there’s still the soft feel to demeanor. “I’m a bit of a fan. ‘Where the Sea and the Horizon Meet’ is my favourite." It’s the book you wrote about him.

“But how did you know I wrote it?” Anyone can write about their tragic first love and the bitter yet beautiful saccharinity it entails. Your pen name didn’t allude to your legal one in any manner, and you dismissed any questions that interviews that attempted to intrude into your personal life.

“Because I instantly knew it was about you, about us. I’d never forget that day, right before English. When wanted to tell you I loved you since it was so pretty that day. I missed bothering you. I missed you.”

He actually remembered?

All this time you had assumed it was a memory that had been sitting at the back of his mind, only to be forgotten so easily after a couple of years.

You don’t say anything. It’s so confusing and overwhelming, the person who hurt you did it out of the fear of hurt, yet still missed you.

“You didn’t forget?”

“No. You were the first and only person I’ve ever loved.”

First… and only too?

You hadn’t shown any signs of auditory hallucinations recently, right?

Even though he himself just said it, it’s still a fever dream to you, unreal and fictitious.

Did you hear that right? You’re the first and only person he’s ever loved; all those touching memories were real, that heartfelt proclamation of love wasn’t fake.

Despite Kaiser’s confession to being in love with you, there was the tiny part of you that was still convinced that you were dreaming; that none of was real.

Because someone who completely destroyed you so long ago shouldn’t be able to waltz back in so easily.

Yet every part of you is begging for him to come back.

You haven’t said anything for a while, only lost in the storm of thoughts while trying to navigate the seas of your emotions.

“Same.” You whisper, you wish you had said something more than a simple agreement, but it’s all you can muster. And it’s true. No one else had been that loving with you. “I don’t hate you. I hate the pain I felt.” You take back your claim, and he looks like he’s received the best news of his life, relief washing over his features.

“I know, which is why, I would never do again. That’s if, if you’re willing to give me another chance.” He finally has the courage to hold your hand with his own, fingers ghosting over your knuckles. “I want to love you. Again. This time properly, and until I learn how to do perfectly.”

There’s an undeniable fear of you have of vulnerability and love, yet the offer is so tempting.

Is the risk really worth it?

You’ve always depended on logic and rationality to make decisions, and here, it’s clear that trusting someone who hurt you isn’t a smart idea. It’s common sense, but something about him makes you want to oppose your usual ideals; to get hurt over and over again until something works, to finally break down the walls you’ve miserably built, and to expose your heavily guarded heart.

“I love you y/n.”

It doesn’t the possess the same grandeur it did that day, years ago, but it still conveyed the same passion, laced with his true feelings for you.

Only this time, you say it back.

“I love you too… Michael.”

“Am I allowed to kiss you again?”

You permit his request, pressing your lips against his, and it tastes just as saccharine and tempting, but this time it’s now garnished with satisfaction.

“Congratulations on your wedding, Kaiser!”

A smile tugs at his lips as his teammates congratulate him, well pleased with how the event had been turning out so far. His parents were overjoyed about you and the occasion, and everything was running smoothly.

It’s been around three years since you had given him another chance.

You looked flawless, the outfit you chose complemented all your tones (though he’d argue that any colour and shade would’ve looked beautiful on you).

Kaiser couldn’t find the right words to describe how euphoric he felt. The closest to this happiest he’s ever gotten was when you accepted his proposal.

He's relieved and buzzing with a sense of pride. Not the typical, cocky kind, but the kind of proud where he’d be able to happily tell his younger self about all of this, that it all works out in the end, that he eventually makes up for his actions; that he ends up marrying his long time crush.

Everyone was happy, at least, except for one person.

“I can’t fucking believe you’d date and marry this man.”

Kaiser snickers at Yoichi, someone who he’s been competing against constantly and has been his rival for years but is also your best friend.

“I swear, he’s not that bad. But I understand if you’re disappointed.”

“Excuse me, I’m the perfect boyfriend and husband.”

“Oi, did you hear something? Must’ve been a fly. Didn’t expect any here.” Michael’s jaw drops at being ignored by Yoichi.

“Shit, I’ve forgotten the bug repellent, my bad. My mother might’ve brought some.” Michael lets out an exaggerated gasp at the betrayal.

“You guys are so mean.” You and Yoichi grin at his faux pout.

“Well,” Yoichi begins to slip away. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone; I’m going to go say hi to Kunigami and Hiori again. Kaiser I’ll kill you if you ever hurt y/n.” He waves a small bye to you before running off.

“Someone seems to trust you a lot.”

“I- “Before Michael can try to defend himself and respond with a witty comment, your nephew interrupts, with his parents following from behind.

“y/n! Congratulations!” He comes running towards you with a bouquet, so big that it was almost the size of him, it’s a miracle how he’s able to carry it. You quickly accept, hoping that it wasn’t a hassle for him to bring it.

“Thank you. How’d you carry these? They’re too big for you.”

“He insisted.” Your bother replies to you, his wife nodding. “He said he wanted to be the ones to give them.”

A hand playfully ruffles his hair. “Thanks bud.” Even after years he still has the same kindness and enthusiasm.

“We’re going to say hi to everyone, are you coming?”

“Can I talk to Michael and y/n more?” They nod, reminding him to be polite and greet everyone afterwards.

“I can’t believe you’re dating the Michael Kaiser though.” Kaiser stands with pride at your nephew’s disbelief, about to make a confident statement until your nephew continues. “You better behave properly, you clown.”

Again, Michael’s jaw drops and the sight has you biting your lip to avoid laughing uncontrollably. Your nephew runs off to his parents, saying that he wants to see his grandparents.

“Since when did he talk like Yoichi?” He nudges you, still shocked at being called a clown again. “He even waited for his parents to go. And he ran off immediately. ”

“No idea, but I like it.”

“Of course, you do…” He takes a few moments to stare at you, dazed by your beauty and seemingly in a trance. “You’re stunning.”

“What’s with that suddenly?”

“It’s not sudden, you’ve always been cute. And pretty. And just perfect in general.”

“Someone’s cheesy.” But your smile is out of control.

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Giving me a second chance.” The morning you woke up in his hotel room comes to mind, and although you were conflicted on whether to let him back into your life again or not, you don’t regret anything.

“Liebling, I’m truly forever grateful for it.” His hand takes yours, planting a kiss on your knuckles.

Because it’s been amazing with him. From the small yet sweet things like how he'd pay attention to literally everything about you, and remember every time detail about you to his grand proposal by the beach, the one that was located near your high school, the one outside of the window when he first declared he loved you. You adored it all; the connection you and him had that no one else would ever understand, to how the sun sunk into the sea, breathtakingly beautiful. Even the aftermath of arguments because he always refused to deal with them immaturely, knowing the consequences of not doing things right better than anyone else. The mere thought of you crying could bring him down to his knees.

Now, if someone were to ask you about Kaiser you'd end up stumped, thinking of all his actions of love, from always defending you no matter what, even if it's him against the world and the media, to how he constantly teases you (he never shuts up about how you assumed you had slept with him when you woke up in his hotel room.) He's your everything, your boyfriend, lover, your own proof reader and soon to be husband.

Now, you'd describe him as your favourite, someone you adore beyond what words could capture, not even your experience as an author could ever change that.

“I love you, so so much. I would die for you Liebe.” Kaiser eagerly kisses you, and no matter how many times he does you never get sick of how he tasted, or how soft and tender they were.

“I love you too Mihya.” You breathe out, crimson dusted all over your face as you’re panting in between words.

He really wasn’t lying when he said wanted to love you properly.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #michael kaiser angst #michael kaiser #alexis ness #michael kaiser x you #fluff #second chance romance #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x y/n #hurt to comfort #bllk x you #bllk angst #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you

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luvistqrzzz · 9 months

Text

August slipped away into a moment in time 'cause you were never mine

the summer i loved you — jake x f.reader wc — 3.3K

summary — where August was the month of new beginnings and first loves but mostly, heartbreak.

genre — friends to not lovers, second lead syndrome, angst, fluff, summer au, august inspired

warnings — sad ending, jake is a huge dee eye see kay (🤢🤢), profranity, heartbreak, not proofread

an — um guys haha def dont come at me for the ending 😊😊 but omg this had been in my drafts for a while now n im glad im able to release this in august ✌🏽😈 have fun reading pookies (1 fucking am rn imma die help)

ps — ☆ a visualizer cuz why tf am i extra ?!

August is a weird month. It seemed to rush by you like a dream and yet at the same time it felt like the last period of every Friday, not finishing fast enough. You'd prefer the former.

August reminded you of memories— pretty but mostly ugly ones or maybe when the hurt in your heart ran so deep, even the happy memories turned ugly, didn't they?

It was not a month you enjoyed, you didn't like summers, you didn't like feeling like new beginnings and first love.

August reminded you of it all... It reminded you of Jake.

It was 1st of August when you realized what those weird feelings were.

‘Y/N!’ You opened the door to the sound of your name, only to be met with a tired and almost teary eyed Jake. He looked up at you, mustering a small smile as you stood before him your mouth agape.

‘A-are you okay?!’ you asked, pulling him into your house.

‘Um. Not… really’, your friend replied, scratching his neck nervously. ‘It’s just… she kinda broke up with me.’

She. he didn’t even need to mention her name and yet you let the word pierce your heart, a little. Kang Eunji. Jake’s girlfriend, well, ex girlfriend.

It was her, always her. It wasn’t unusual for you to hear that they both had a fight but you never thought they'd break up. ‘What? Are you being for real?!’ You were shocked to say the least. Jake and Eunji were what people deemed to be the “power couple” at school. They wouldn’t break up, or could they?

He nodded and sat on the couch, ‘We were fighting over one of those petty matters again, she was angry why I was so busy. It was about soccer practice of course! And when I kind of lost it, she said we were over.’ His voice caught in his throat before he let out a small sob.

Your heart sank as you patted his back and pulled him close into an embrace, ‘Ssh, it’s okay’, you ran small circles on his, ignoring the butterflies set free in your stomach at the close contact.

You could never understand what went on in their relationship. This may have been the first time they broke up but it surely wasn’t the first time Jake came to your house on the verge of tears.

You hated seeing him this way, like a broken record.

‘What will I do now, Y/N?’ ‘You just broke up, it’s not the end of the world. Plus, you have the entire summer before you, right? We’ll figure a way out,’ You broke the hug, looking straight into his eyes, trying to reassure him.

But they all meant nothing. Getting reassured of a broken heart didn’t mend the damage, you knew better than him. Jake nodded nonetheless, wiping away the stray tears, ‘Goodness, I feel so dumb for just crying like this.’ ‘don’t be. You are allowed to feel your emotions.’

He gave a small smile in your direction and your heart skipped a beat.

‘So’, you turned towards the television, searching for a distraction. ‘You wanna binge watch something? Or maybe some Doraemon?’

Jake grinned, ‘I’d love that! What would I do without you, Y/N?’

You let out an almost sad chuckle, ‘I am the coolest best friend ain’t I?’ The word best friend left a bad taste in your mouth.

4th August was when Jake realized the bookstore was his safe place.

Clink! The door to the bookstore opened with a small chime. You looked up from your position at the counter only to find Jake walk into the shop.

He smiled before taking a seat beside you, much to your surprise. It wasn't unusual for him to drop by the store. But mostly he came for borrowing a book or having a quick chat with you.

But never like this.

'So, how are you doing?' You asked, turning towards where he sat, fidgeting with a pen. It was a slow lazy afternoon with barely any customers.

'Oh, uh, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to be. We had so many things planned and like, it feels weird. We were good for each other…' he kept on rambling about his latest break up.

You could feel your heart clench a litte. You understood why Jake was doing so but it didn't help. It didn't help that there were two broken hearts in the same room. It was always you and the second lead syndrome against the world.

Sometimes you really wondered what you had done to be stuck in the loophole of falling for a friend.

You had been friends with Jake since middle school, always finding yourself blush whenever he was around.

The first time you tried confessing to him during Valentine's Day in freshman year, your hand baked cake (which you had prepared for hours) got destroyed. You kind of gave up on him, treating him as a friend.

Well, that was until Eunji came along last year. Seeing Jake with her brought about a fresh wave of emotions you think your heart had forgotten.

It hadn't.

The bookstore was Jake's hideaway from the world. He loved everything about it. Loved how calming it was and the people who came in always greeted him with a smile. He was a quaint place, maybe mysterious in a sense that Jake didn't want to uncover the secrets it hid.

He liked how you let him sit there for the entirety of your shift. But mostly he loved the conversations.

Throughout the summer, Jake couldn't remember the number of times he found you sitting with him, flipping through some book as you both chatted away, be it in the lazy afternoon or under the evening sky, where the buzz of the grasshopper was the only thing he could hear. They felt weirdly intimate, like the secrets he used to keep as a kid. He almost wanted to gatekeep them.

'Sorry do I bore you here?' You asked one day. It was a question bothering you for a while.

Jake frowned, 'What? No. Of course not, Y/N. You could never bore me.' But you were unconvinced, 'No, like, who spends their summer sitting in a small little barely functioning bookstore except maybe be. You must have a lot of plans, right?'

'I wouldn't lie. I haven't ever spent such a quiet summer but turns out, I like a lot. Too much for my own sake. The bookstore isn't boring. Rather, it gives me a sense of escape from reality.' He gave you a reassuring smile.

'Also', Jake added as a second thought. 'You aren't boring Y/N. You just make it all loads better.'

Your phone went off with a sharp ring. Your alarm wasn’t set to ring today. Who could it be? You groaned as you sleepily grabbed it from the nightstand. Without even checking the name, you picked up the call, ‘Hello? Who?’ ‘It’s me Jake, you dummy!’ His excited voice came from the other side.

You yawned, ‘What do you want?’ you checked the time, ‘It’s literal fucking half past four.’ ‘More reason to wake up, right?!’

‘Shut up, I’m hanging up and-’ ‘No no! I really did plan a surprise. Get ready, please, just for today. Please’, he begged from the other side.

Now, you were definitely wide awake, upon hearing his voice. He had planned what…? ‘Okay but the surprise better be good.’ ‘Also! Keep your bicycle ready.’

‘There you are!’ Jake greeted you with a wide smile as you grumbled and walked down the road with your bike where he stood. ‘You don’t get to smile like that after pulling me up from sleep’, you muttered angrily.

But really who were you to complain? It was Jake and you couldn’t deny the fact that you were genuinely excited for what was coming. It was always an adventure when it came to him.

‘You won’t be disappointed, trust me’, he said, boarding his bike and motioning for you to do the same.

You breathed out a calming sigh, looking ahead at the empty road. Thanks to summer, the sun was already somewhere there on the horizon, spreading a fuzzy glow around you. Everything looked simpler, softer. In the light of the dawn, your thoughts felt less complicated, you almost felt it would be easy to sort out your feelings. Would it?

You turned to look at Jake, cycling in peace, a small grin on his face, ‘Told you! I sometimes go out on early morning rides, especially if I have a lot on my mind.’

‘So, why are you taking me then?’ ‘I don’t know. I just have a feeling you’ll like this place’, he shrugged. ‘Plus, I like spending time with you’, Jake added as an afterthought.’

A blush crept into your cheeks at his words. Stop over thinking you scolded yourself. But you couldn’t help the hope blossom in you. False hope.

‘Here we are’, Jake spread his arms wide, showing you the view. After half an hour of cycling through empty streets and quiet places, you found yourself on a small hill. It was pretty abandoned, the only sounds that reached your ears were the chirping of birds and the whistling of trees in the cool summer morning.

In front of you lay your town and the forests beyond it. Those familiar buildings looked all new when you saw them from top of a hill. It radiated calmth… and comfort.

Or was the latter because of the person beside you?

‘Thanks’, you spoke in a soft whisper but then you felt a hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your heart stopped as you turned towards Jake looking at you with a fond smile and slowly pulled you closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

You couldn't process what he was doing. Was it all intentional? No, it was the usual playful Jake you knew, right? But the usual playful Jake wasn't like this. He had pulled you into a hug several times but never like this.

Never so tender in his actions that it made you think otherwise.

'I like the view so much. I hope you do too. It's just… very special, I had never shown it to Eunji either. People ruin things', he sighed, looking ahead.

You scoffed as an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, 'So, I'm not a person?' 'No, you're Y/N. It's an entire special thing to be in itself.'

You didn't know what it meant anymore. The secret smiles, the small actions. You weren't oblivious, you saw it all but your face masked it behind the friendship.

But was it even friendship? You hoped it wasn't. You hoped you both had crossed the line of being "just friends".

It was the 20th of August when Jake liked mint chocolate ice cream.

He touched his cheek as a familiar warmth flooded in at the sight of you. What was happening to him? Ever since the day on the hill, he had been feeling weird. Be it when he visited the bookstore or when you both hung out during the day (or night).

The way your laugh sounded in his ears, when you smiled, he noticed the way his heart skipped a beat. But he loved the most when through the afternoons you talked. Just talk, nothing and everything.

Jake had never felt so connected to anyone. You both had always been friends but seeing a friends standing before him, two ice creams in hand shouldn't make Jake blush.

But it did.

'Hey Mr.Zoned out!' You snapped your fingers before him, pulling him away from his thoughts. You handed him his ice cream while joining him on the curb.

He made a disgusted face at the cone you were holding, 'Ugh. Mint chocolate.' You slapped his shoulder playfully, 'Yah! You are a person with zero taste.'

'Oh really? Lemme try it then', Jake replied, challenging you. He scooped a bit with the plastic spoon before closing his eyes and tasting it.

'Ew', he gagged. 'This tastes like fucking toothpaste', he wiped his mouth in disgust.

'Shut up, no need to be so over dramatic about it all', you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

Jake looked at you as you continued eating and looking at the street in front. It was almost 5 in the evening, the kids were out playing but their shouts were only distant noise because all he could hear was your voice. All he could see was you. You weren't bright like the background but in his eyes, you were glowing. The sun falling on your face, as if highlighting only you in his eyes.

Almost as if on instinct, his hand slowly reached out to your free one, his fingers finding yours and intertwining them together.

You stopped, your heart beating way too fast, you could almost feel the redness of your cheeks.

What was happening? What was Jake doing? Why was he doing this?

It felt wrong, you knew it. Your intuition could tell it. This was something you had waited forever to happen, but you knew this couldn't be.

Let go of his hand, Y/N. Let go let go let go let go… don't let go.

You didn't, too foolish and in love to walk away. And maybe that was the first mistake you had made.

The first rain of August came on the 25th.

Why was rain often associated with sadness? No, rain didn't mean sadness.

Because on that one day of August, you stood outside the bookstore looking at the dark clouds, the rain gave you hope.

You sighed, no wonder your mother kept on insisting you to take an umbrella. Now, there you were, standing in front of the closed shop.

But a bright yellow thing caught your eye, standing out in the dull gray background. You squinted your eyes as the figure came closer.

Jake.

Your stomach jumped. Had he come for you?

He ran through the rain, his bright smile evident as you stared at him in wonder.

'What?' He asked. You shook your head, 'You…?' 'I came for you. You always forget your umbrella.' He completed the sentence for you.

Your mouth formed an "O" but a soft smile spread across your lips.

'Here', he handed you the spare umbrella in hand and took hold of your wrist, pulling you into the rain.

You shrieked, 'At least let me open mine first.' He laughed at your sight, moving closer and holding his umbrella over you.

You noticed every single thing, the things you had noticed a hundred times before. But mostly you noticed his little actions.

The ones that made you fall for him all over again.

'Fuck, if I catch a cold, it'll be your fault, Sim Jake', you threatened the boy standing in front of your porch, grinning. You both had recklessly ran in the rain as a result the umbrellas had been pretty useless… but it was fun.

'Don't worry', he stepped forward, a certain fondness flickering in his eyes. 'I'll be there to bring you the meds.'

It happened in a fraction of a second, swiftly, Jake bent down and gave a sudden kiss on your cheek. It was soft as a feather, almost like it didn't happen.

But you felt it. You almost felt dizzy, her cheeks heating you. You brought your hands to where he had just kissed you. It had happened, hadn't it?

But before you could say anything, Jake turned around, his head hung low in embarrassment but his stomach full of butterflies and sprinted in the opposite direction.

Had he meant it?

As Jake walked his way back home, his head filled with thoughts of you, a sudden buzz of his phone. He took it out, expecting a text from you.

But no… It was someone else.

His heart dropped. A contact that hadn't been there since 1st of August.

Eunji.

"jake, im so sorry."

But what followed after that day was something you had always feared.

He ignored you. Every text, every call, no reply. Did he just get awkward? But even an awkward Jake wouldn't be this rude. Or was he angry with you? You didn't even do anything.

The next time you saw Jake, three days later, was when you went on a grocery run.

You could spot him anywhere. 'Jake! Wait', you called out to him. He didn't stop. 'Omg, stop being a shit head would you?! Stop fucking ignoring me!' You huffed, annoyed.

That's when you saw his figure slowly turn towards you. 'Sorry', he muttered. You ran a hand through your hair. sorry? That's all he had to say?

'Look, if it's about that day then forget it. You-you never kissed me.' 'What? Of course not, it isn't about that day', he replied.

You looked at him confusedly, 'Huh? Then why, Jake? I had tried calling and texting you so many times but you couldn't bother to reply to me.'Your voice slowly rose.

'I was busy catching up with Eunji okay?!' his tone matching yours.

There came that name. Her name. Did you hear it correctly? What was she doing in this conversation?

'E-eunji…?' you looked at him, at loss of words. 'I thought yo-you were over her?'

He gave you a look of disbelief, 'No. That day she sent me a text and I realised… I wasn't.'

Why did the crack in your heart deepen? Why was it always you who got hurt?

And you couldn't help but ask, knowing the answer would make you feel worse, 'What about us then, Jake?'

'Us? Y/N what are you talking about? We are friends, we always have been. There is no us.'

There, the final blow. 'Why did you make me feel so special then? All for nothing? You know how much I like you, so much that everytime we spent time together this summer, I got my hopes up. I was so foolish, because of you Sim fucking Jaeyun. And that day you kissed me, I thought, finally you'll realize but no. It's always her, isnt it?', you didn't scream but the crack in your voice said it all.

And Jake remained silent through it all. because he knew he deserved 'So, this summer meant nothing to you?' You sniffed, a single tear rolling down your cheek.

'Nothing.' But you missed the flicker in his eyes. The flicker that said otherwise.

That it wasn't nothing, it was his eveything.

August 31st was when you lost it finally.

‘It was just a summer thing’, the words rang in your ear, loud and clear. They drowned the voices of all the chatter of classmates. ‘y/n? y/n? Are you okay?’ Lily asked beside you, furrowing her eyebrows in worry.

But you couldn’t respond to her, at that very moment, you thought you couldn’t do pretty much anything except look. Or rather stare at the sight unfolding before you. Before you knew it, the plastic cup fell from your hands, the beer splashing all over the floor and getting the attention of the people in the room, the attention of them.

In the haze, you met your eyes with his, the soft brown ones that you had fallen in love with, the one which enveloped you in warmth. But now they felt like they were hurting you, the annoyance in them.

A tear rolled down your cheek as you turned around. The room suddenly felt too small, the stares of the people felt accusing. You let go of Lily’s hand that gripped your wrist and ran in the opposite direction.

Did you hear footsteps behind you? Were they Jake’s? You hated to admit it but you wished they were. You wished that he was the one following you, the one who'd hold you back.

For once, prove it to you that you weren’t the second lead.

But he wasn’t there.

You found yourself rushing to the porch, the sounds fading out. But you could hear the blood pumping in your ears, the sound of your shallow breath that you had been holding for so long.

He wasn’t there. What did you even expect?

You were a summer thing for him… but he was your summer love.

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