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rafeandonlyrafe · 29 days

Text

easter day

words: 1.3k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, dad!rafe, mom!reader, fluffy and cute, talk of pregnancy, p in v sex

“when are they getting here?” rafe questions, hands on your hips, leaning over your shoulder to look at the counter where you're finishing frosting the sugar cookies with various pastel colors.

“uhh…” you glance at the clock. “any minute now.” you set down the piping bag as you finish the last detail and turn to look at rafe, changing your voice to a whisper. “are all the eggs hidden?”

“yup.” he nods. “and i already told harper that the small blue ones are for her brother so to let him get the easy ones. the easter bunny told me specifically.”

“smart.” you chuckle, letting rafe pull you in and press your lips together.

“i do just have one complaint.” rafe says, hands moving from your hips to grip your bum.

“and what would that be?” you look at your husband, one eyebrow raised.

“this dress.” rafe shakes his head. “you look too good in it, you're practically begging me to put a third kid in you.”

“not until elijah is two, remember?” you remind rafe.

“he's 18 months, that's practically two!” rafe lies through his teeth, his grin turning mischievous, knowing just how big of a difference six months can make in a baby's development.

“ill tell you what…” you run your hands up rafes chest. “why don't we sneak away when my parents get here? you know they act like we don't exist anyways.”

you can't blame them, harper just turned 5 and is a handful, which is only added to by elijah. while he's an angel, he's still a toddler and will get into anything and everything if you turn your back for even a minute.

“sounds perfect.” rafe gives you another kiss as harper runs into the kitchen, elijah still distracted in the corner in his bouncer.

“mommy!” she squeals, launching herself at you. you pick her up and easily turn her so she's on your hip. “mommy, mommy.” she continues. “the easter bunny came! i saw eggs in the backyard!”

“oh, yay!” you bounce her slightly as elijah giggles, reacting to harper's excitement. rafe heads to the bouncer and lifts him out.

“and look, mama made cookies.” you show her the frosted sugar cookie eggs and baby chicks. “and i left a couple unfrosted for you to do with grandma and grandpa!”

harper lets out another squeal and wiggles excitedly. “elijah, gammy and gamps are coming over!”

rafe chuckles at her mispronunciation. it started when she was first learning to talk and their names haven't changed since, even elijah calling them their nicknames.

there's a knock at the door and harper wiggles out of your arms to run towards the front, quickly followed by you and rafe, who unabashedly checks you out as harper opens the door to your parents.

“harper!” your mom steps in, wrapping her in a big hug, completing it with pressing kisses all over her face.

“and there's my little man.” your dad takes elijah from rafes arms, whose happy to give him up, itching to get that alone time with you.

you quickly usher your parents in, showing them the unfrosted cookies and other activities to keep your kids attention.

“rafe and i are gonna go finish their easter baskets.” in truth you've had their baskets finished for a week now, but there's no reason for them to know that.

“okay, that's fine dear.” your mom says, barely glancing to you as harper grabs a butter knife covered in pink frosting.

you grab your husband's hand, and he practically sprints up the stairs, pulling you right along with him into your bedroom.

“god, you knew this would happen didn't you?” rafe questions, hands gripping at your dress, pulling it up as he backs you up towards your bed, keeping the door slightly cracked so you can hear if anyone comes up the stairs. “you know i can't resist this dress.”

you keep your sundresses at the front of your closet, wearing them whenever you find a reason to, purely because of how rafe reacts to them.

“stop talking and hurry up.” you chastise rafe, fingers swiftly undoing the buttons of his crisp shirt until your hands can delve in and feel his muscles.

“yes, ma’am.” rafe smirks, lowering you onto the bed as his lips find yours again, fingers coming to your underwear to feel the wet spot that has started to form. his fingers swipe over the material until you’re moaning quietly, eyes shut.

“god, need to get inside you.” rafe groans, standing to undo his shorts and grab a condom from the nightstand as you take your underwear off, tossing them in the general direction of your hamper.

you use the moment of silence to listen, seeing if you can hear anything coming from downstairs, but all seems to be calm as rafe pulls your hips to the edge of the bed, lining up his cock with your entrance.

rafe sinks in slowly with a low groan as you gasp, gripping the bed sheets. its been far too long since you’ve been able to have a moment alone like this.

“so good, mama.” rafe wraps your legs around his hips as he begins to move, thrusting in and out of you, thumb already rubbing over your clit, knowing you both need to cum and get downstairs as soon as possible.

“yeah, feels good.” you whine, covering your mouth with your palm as you let out noises, rafe always able to get the sounds out of you even when you should be quiet.

rafe moves faster, cock pushing at your walls, stretching you open for his length.

“shit.” rafe groans. “we need to convince your parents or aunt wheezie to take them for a weekend.”

“mmm, that’s exactly what we need.” you nod. you know that you’d probably end up pregnant again if you had an uninterrupted weekend with rafe, you already feel the urge to reach down and pull the condom off of him, but the thought of dealing with elijah at his current age while pregnant has your mind clearing quickly.

“or we can start sending elijah to daycare once a week.” rafe says, glad that the conversation is helping quell his orgasm somewhat, not wanting to burst inside of you too early.

“fuck, whatever it takes to get more of this.” you push at rafes stomach. he takes a step back as you flip over on the bed, toes touching the floor as you turn onto your stomach.

“god, i wanna marry you all over again.” rafe pushes quickly back insides, thrusts now speeding up as his hands grip your ass, squeezing it and watching the way it jiggles with every thrust.

you push your hand below your body to touch your clit, rubbing it in pace with rafes cock pushing inside of you, pressing your face into the mattress to drown out your noises.

“gonna cum, baby.” rafe warns, cock swelling inside of you before hes releasing with one more deep thrust, triggering your own orgasm as your body shakes.

rafe pulls out, flipping your dress back down over your ass just in case someone sneaks upstairs as he discards of the condom and redresses before heading back to you, helping you turn over to sit on the edge of the bed.

“i love you.” rafe coos, pressing kisses to the top of your head as you lean against him.

“i love you too.” you take his hand in his. “and we should get back downstairs before they get suspicious.”

“absolutely.” rafe nods, following you out the bedroom and down the stairs, leaning in to whisper in your ear when he sees everyone is still occupied with frosting cookies, a smear of orange frosting across harpers nose. “and don’t think i forgot that you aren’t wearing panties anymore.”

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devildomwriter · 27 days

Text

A Devildom Easter Egg Extravaganza

Diavolo decides to hold an Easter egg hunt. Shenanigans ensue.

Slight x reader for Lucifer, Diavolo, Mephistopheles, Barbatos

[Student Council Room]

Lucifer: “You really mean to hold…an Easter egg hunt?”

Diavolo: “Why, yes! I think it will be great fun!”

Mephistopheles: “My Lord, everything you do is brilliant!”

Diavolo: “Thank you!”

Mephistopheles: “However…this holiday is in celebration of everything we are against…as is Christmas for that matter but that’s become popular here recently…”

Diavolo: *nodding* “Yes. I understand that these holidays traditionally represent and celebrate our opposites. So celebrating them not only promotes goodwill with the angels and religious exchange students but also draws attention away from its original purpose.”

Lucifer: “I see, so that’s your angle.”

Mephistopheles: “Am I missing something?”

Lucifer: “We are celebrating and promoting the secular traditions instead. Celebrating bunnies, eggs, and candy rather than my father and father-brother.”

Diavolo: “Ahahaha.”

Mephistopheles: “Father-brother?”

Lucifer: “We’re done discussing this.”

Diavolo: “Anyway. I think it would be great fun to hide eggs all around RAD for the exchange students and any willing RAD students to join in. I understand it may not be especially popular with demons but I do want to incorporate holidays important to others too. It is vital to accept and learn about each other’s cultures and traditions to better respect and understand each other.”

Barbatos: “Well said, my lord.”

Mephistopheles: “In that case, I’d be more than happy to promote this in the newspaper! Leave it to me.”

Diavolo: “Thank you, Mephistopheles. I knew I could count on you!”

[Purgatory Hall]

Luke: “A what?”

Solomon: “An Easter egg hunt.”

Raphael: “We’ll be busy.”

MC: “Oh, really…”

Simeon: “Yes, we must celebrate our father-brother, after all.”

MC: “That’s such a weird way to say Jesus.”

Raphael: “Those are the only words in your language to accurately describe him.”

MC: “Right. Will you really be in the celestial realm all day though?”

Simeon: “Umm well…”

Raphael: *glaring* “We should be.”

Luke: “…”

Solomon: “You’re going to make Luke sad.”

Luke: “Wh! Hey!”

Raphael: “Luke has no reason to be sad.”

MC: “C’mon Raph, you can’t make a kid miss an Easter egg hunt. That’s cruel and unusual punishment.”

Raphael: “That’s an inaccurate description of cruel and unusual punishment.”

MC: “But it’s true though.”

Raphael: *sigh* “I suppose we can come back after service and the banquet.”

Simeon: “Wonderful!”

Luke: “Yay! Sir Raphael, you’re the best!”

MC: “Okay, the angels are in. Let’s go tell Thirteen.”

Solomon: “I believe Diavolo already has.”

MC: “Really?”

Solomon: “Yes. He said something about some eggs containing special surprises.”

Raphael: “I have a bad feeling about this…”

[Lucifer’s Private Study]

Lucifer: “I have a headache already.”

Solomon: “Hahahaha!”

MC: “So he’s really having her rig the eggs?”

Lucifer: “Many of them yes. I fear she’s taking it overboard, hoping Solomon will find them all.”

Solomon: “How thoughtful.”

Lucifer: “How can you be wise and yet so oblivious, honestly?”

Solomon: “It just shows she’s thinking of me. She really is a good friend.”

MC: “You may need better friends.”

Lucifer: “Considering most of them want to kill you, I’d have to agree.”

Solomon: “Most? I wouldn’t say that most of them do.”

MC: “Even some of them is an issue…”

Solomon: “Well, regardless I think this hunt will be fun. You’ll be participating yes?”

MC: “I already asked if I could hide them instead.”

Solomon: “You’d like to hide them? Not find them?”

MC: “I used to hide them for the neighborhood kids. They’d still turn up years later.”

Solomon: “Don’t you suppose that’s too good at hiding them?”

MC: “You can never be too good at something unless it’s illegal.”

Solomon: “I…suppose that’s true.”

Lucifer: “That is a flawed argument and the fact you think that makes my headache worse, please leave Solomon.”

Solomon: “Only me?”

Lucifer: “That’s what I said.”

Solomon: “Wow, so cruel, Lucifer. I suppose I’ll see you this weekend.”

Lucifer: “Yes, goodbye now.”

MC: “Soooo…what’d you want to talk about?”

Lucifer: “Nothing, I just wanted him to leave and your company soothes me.”

MC: “I thought I was giving you a headache?”

Lucifer: “You do, but it’s nothing compared to Mammon.”

MC: “That’s fair.”

MC: “So are you going to compete?”

Lucifer: “Finding the eggs?”

MC: “Yeah.”

Lucifer: *smirks* “Will I get a reward if I do?”

MC: “Hmm…maybe?”

Lucifer: “I see…then I suppose I will.”

MC: “Yes! This going to be so much fun!” *hugs*

Lucifer: *blushes* “Only you could make me so excited about this holiday.”

[The Day Before Easter | RAD]

Diavolo: “Oh, MC! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be hiding these with you!”

MC: “About that…don’t you want to participate?”

Diavolo: “I think preparing it is just as exciting! Besides, there will be some places by Barbatos too and I won’t know where those are.”

MC: “So, you’ll be looking for the ones he hid?”

Diavolo: “Yes, as I oversee everything.”

MC: “Good, I love to see you have fun!”

Diavolo: “I feel the same way. Hopefully, you’ll do a bit of searching too?”

MC: “Sure, I’ll walk with you and we’ll see who finds them first.”

Diavolo: “A competition? How fun! I can hardly wait.”

Barbatos: “Young master, here are the baskets.”

MC: “That’s…a lot of eggs.”

Diavolo: “Yes, this may take us all night, I’m so excited.”

Barbatos: “MC, be careful not to trigger the traps.”

MC: “How would I know?”

Barbatos: “They’re in separate baskets, just handle them more delicately and take care they don’t open up, even the slightest bit.”

MC: “Right…”

Diavolo: “Oh my, look how this own sparkles, MC, isn’t it just—“

MC: “Where’d he go!?”

Barbatos: “And I just warned him too…”

MC: “Okay, but where did he go?”

In the distance, you hear roaring laughter and look to see a light on in RAD.

MC: “I found him.”

Barbatos: *sigh* “I suppose I should supervise this shouldn’t I?”

MC: “It’ll be okay, I’ll protect him.”

Barbatos: “Ever so reliable, MC. It’s what I love most about you.”

MC: *blushing* “G-Glad you feel that way.”

A small explosion sounds from inside.

MC: “He’s…not being careful. At all.”

Barbatos: “Good luck.”

MC: “What’ve I done?”

[A Few Hours Later]

Diavolo sits next to you on the RAD lawn covered in pink and yellow powder, hair spiked, and hands puffy and pink.

MC: “Sooo….”

Diavolo: “That was so much fun!”

MC: “Thirteen wasn’t happy about resetting them all though.”

Diavolo: “Yes, I did apologize.”

MC: “I think she laughed hard enough to forgive you.”

Diavolo: “Yes it was quite excessive.”

MC: “That’s rich coming from you.”

Diavolo: “Hm? What do you mean?”

MC: “If you laughed and a bomb went off at the same time, I’d hear you.”

Diavolo: “Pfft! Ahahahahaha.”

MC: “My point exactly. Anyway…Barbatos will skin me alive if you come back looking like this.”

You take his hands and whisper an incantation, lips close to his inflamed hands. The pink vanished and his hands returned to normal. Diavolo let out a sigh of relief.

Diavolo: “Thank goodness. That was quite itchy.”

MC: “Now all you need is a serious bath.”

Diavolo: “Oh, will you be giving it to me?”

MC: “Wh—“

Diavolo: “Ahahahaha! I’m only kidding.”

MC: “That’s a shame.”

Diavolo: “What?”

MC: “What?”

Diavolo: *sigh* “Why don’t we go get some rest and meet early again tomorrow before the others arrive.”

MC: “Sounds like a plan.”

Diavolo smiles and ruffles your hair. You attempt to do the same but your hand gets stuck to his gelled hair, the result of an egg surprise. You stare at him, hand stuck in his hair and he stares back at you when a familiar person clears their throat.

Thirteen: “Uh…the eggs have been reset. Am I interrupting something?”

Diavolo: “We seem to be stuck.”

Thirteen: “Hahahah! Serves you right, anyway I’m headed out.”

MC: “You’re gonna leave us here?”

Thirteen: “Yes!”

Diavolo: “I see…I suppose we should call Barbatos?”

MC: “Yeah…”

[Early the next morning | House of Lamentation]

Asmodeus: “MC! You’re finally back! Where’ve you been all night? Don’t tell me you- ooooh!”

Lucifer lightly smacks Asmodeus over the back of the head.

Asmodeus: “Ow! Lucifer you big meanie.”

Lucifer: “Don’t imply such things.”

Asmodeus: “But they were gone aaaalll night. Isn’t that right? And who were they with? The hunky—“

Lucifer: “Be quiet.”

Mammon: “What’s goin’ on down here!?”

Mammon: “Hey! MC! You’re finally back!”

Satan: “I was getting worried.”

Belphegor: “Mmhm.”

MC: “One of Thirteen’s traps went off…”

Lucifer: “I see. That explains things then.”

Asmodeus: “Boo. I was hoping for some gossip.”

Belphegor: “That’s the same thing as saying you hope Diavolo and MC hooked up.”

Mammon: “Hold on, what happened!?”

Satan: “Nothing happened, Mammon. Pay attention.”

MC: “My hand got stuck to Diavolo, that’s all.”

Beelzebub: “Stuck?”

Mammon: “Huh? Stuck where!”

MC: “His head.”

Asmodeus: “Which o—“

All: “Shut up, Asmo!”

You got a few hours of rest before your alarm went off. You already had good morning texts from the angels reminding you of the importance of the day and you smiled and sighed. You changed into your Easter outfit and put on the rabbit ear headband Diavolo insisted all participants wear.

[Easter Morning | RAD Courtyard]

Diavolo: “MC! I’m so glad you’re here!”

MC: “As promised.”

Barbatos: “Good. Participants should be showing up in a few hours and—“

Mephistopheles: “Good morning everyone.”

Diavolo: “Ah, good morning, Mephistopheles.”

Mephistopheles: “Hm? You still have baskets?”

MC: “We couldn’t finish hiding them all…there was a mishap.”

Mephistopheles: “Oh? Of what nature.”

Barbatos: “The details aren’t necessary. Why don’t you take a few pictures of the setup before we begin? See if you can spot an egg and photograph it.”

Mephistopheles: “Right. And MC.”

MC: “Hm?”

Mephistopheles: “Happy Easter?”

MC: “Aww! Thank you Mephisto, that means a lot coming from you.”

Mephistopheles: “What does that mean?”

Diavolo: “I’m so glad to see you embracing change, Mephistopheles. Very well done!”

Mephistopheles: “Naturally! One can’t help but be swayed by your genius and example, my lord.”

MC: *muttering* “Here we go.”

Barbatos: *chuckles*

After a few hours You, Diavolo, and Barbatos had finished hiding the rest of the eggs and just sat down by the sign-in booth when you heard a loud scream coming from RAD.

Barbatos: *sigh* “I told him to photograph the egg not open it.”

Diavolo: “Ahahaha!”

Barbatos left swiftly to investigate and as soon as he vanished around the corner, a loud group approached the booth.

Lucifer: “We’ve arrived. I apologize if we’re late.”

Satan: “Yes, someone wouldn’t wake up.”

Belphegor: *zzz*

Asmodeus: “I can’t believe the bunny ears are staying on even though he’s slumped over Beel’s shoulder. I have to get a picture.”

Beelzebub: “Asmo…”

Asmodeus: “What? It might generate more attention for the event, right?”

Diavolo: “Wonderful idea, Asmodeus.”

Asmodeus: “Thank you!”

Lucifer: *sigh*

Mammon: “So…I heard there’d be a prize.”

Leviathan: “Two minutes, I called it.”

Asmodeus: “Tch, I really thought it’d be sooner.”

Mammon: “Huh? Are you betting on me? Without me?”

Satan: “That wouldn’t make any sense idiot.”

Lucifer: “All of you shut up and sign in.”

Leviathan: “Eep! Okay.”

The brothers signed their names. Beelzebub signed Belphegor in for him and you sat around and talked.

Mephistopheles returned with Barbatos looking very flustered and uncomfortable.

Lucifer: “What in the Devildom is that mess?”

Mephistopheles: “Thirteen.”

Lucifer: “Oh. So you set off a trap.”

Leviathan: “Does no one find it alarmingly easy to set them off? Like, didn’t even Lord Diavolo do that?”

You heard an amused chuckle from behind you.

Thirteen: “Duh. That’s what makes it fun.”

Barbatos: “Thirteen. What wonderful timing you have. Mind telling me what Mephistopheles is currently covered in?”

Thirteen: “That’s just a personal concoction of highly flammable spider web spray.”

Mephistopheles: “Of what!?”

Mammon: “Bahahaha!”

Mephistopheles: “Get it off of me this instant!”

MC: “Calm down Mephi, I got you.”

Mephistopheles: “Mephi?”

You brought forth a torrent of water to flush the web off Mephistopheles and then a gust of wind to blow him and his clothes dry.

He was left momentarily stunned before he sighed, patted himself down, and smoothed out his hair.

Barbatos turned on the bright lights around RAD to illuminate the lawn as the other students showed up. The presence of more than a few students elated Diavolo and the happy gleam in his eyes made all the trouble worth it.

Near the end of the thirteenth hour, a beam appeared from the sky. At first, everyone stumbled back in fear but as it disappeared, Simeon, Raphael, and Luke appeared in its place.

Barbatos: “I could’ve opened the portal.”

Raphael: “This was faster.”

Mammon: “Gave me a freakin’ heart attack!”

Raphael: “Why?”

Luke: “MC! I’m here!”

MC: “Hello, Luke! Your Easter uniform is so cute!”

Luke: “Huh? I’m supposed to look gentlemanly not cute!”

Simeon: “You can be both.”

Luke: “No I can’t!”

Solomon: “Good morning everyone. I’m not late am I?”

Simeon: “No. We just arrived.”

Raphael was looking around from the sign-in booth, already scanning the area for eggs as though it were a mission. It gave you chills to see his serious expression but at the same time made you laugh because this was only an Easter egg hunt.

You noticed that Lucifer was doing the same thing but he was being slightly less obvious about it, giving himself reasons to be turned in a certain direction rather than just openly staring.

Luke: “MC! Will you be on my team?”

Mammon: “What? We’re forming teams!?”

Solomon: “Are we?”

Barbatos: *shaking his head* “I suppose if you wanted to you could however anything you find would be evenly split between you and not counted as a whole.”

Satan: “Every demon for themself.”

Lucifer: “I agree.”

Satan: “I’m no longer certain.”

Lucifer: *sigh*

Diavolo: “Hahahaha!”

Belphegor: “Mm…quiet.”

Beelzebub: “Belphie, are you awake?”

Belphegor: “What…what’s on my head?”

Asmodeus: “Those are your bunny ears! And you look adorable!”

Belphegor: “Ugh. Kill me now.”

Asmodeus: “Your sleepy bunny pic has already generated so many likes!”

Belphegor: “My what?”

MC: “So how was the sermon? Is that what it was?”

Luke: *sobbing*

MC: “What’d I do?”

Simeon: “Each year, we visit the past to review the events before and during Easter and the future it will bring.”

MC: “That sounds emotionally traumatic.”

Raphael: “It is. And now we’re here. Looking for eggs…”

Mammon: “Just as father intended!”

Raphael pulls out his spear and Mammon takes off.

MC: “He deserves that right?”

Asmodeus: “Mhm.”

Lucifer: “Honestly…”

Thirteen: “He’s got some guts to piss an angel off on Easter.”

Mephistopheles: “Right. Especially when it’s about their father slash brother or something…”

MC: “Speaking of father and brother…”

You looked between Lucifer and Satan as they watched you. They looked at each other, back at you and Satan bared his fangs as his brothers and Diavolo managed to contain their laughter.

Satan: “Not another word!”

Beelzebub: “They didn’t say anything.”

Solomon: “Hahaha! I get it. Because Lucifer and Satan have the same dynamic.”

As Raphael runs past you he protests this idea and continues after Mammon who’s tripping over bushes in his escape attempt.

Diavolo: “Should we stop them?”

Simeon: “He earned it.” *scary smile*

Luke: “Simeon. You have that scary look in your eyes again.”

Simeon: “Oh, do I? My apologies.”

MC: “Anyway…it’s a good idea you came here after so Luke can recover from his trauma a little more easily.”

Luke: “It never goes away.”

Mephistopheles: “I’m not sure I like the haunted look in your eye.”

Solomon: “It’s weird when Luke is serious.”

Luke: “Hey what does that mean!? I’m always serious.”

Mephistopheles: “Good he’s back.”

Simeon: “Ah, yes. It does weigh heavily on us angels. Thank you for this event, Diavolo.”

Diavolo: “Yes, of course! Speaking of, it’s just about time to begin. Can someone go fetch Mammon and Raphael?”

Lucifer: “I’ll do it.”

Beelzebub: “I’ll go with him.”

Belphegor: “Set me down somewhere first.”

Beelzebub: “Okay.”

Belphegor is placed gently on top of a bush as Beelzebub runs after Lucifer. He begins sinking into the bush and you and the others watch as the branches begin to slowly snap and he disappears into the leaves.

As soon as Raphael and Mammon are reeled in and Mammon is forced to grovel for an apology, Diavolo is given the microphone and you, Lucifer, Barbatos, and Mephistopheles work together to hand everyone a woven basket to place their found eggs in.

Diavolo: “Everyone will have an hour to find as many eggs as possible, they are everyone beyond this booth on the RAD ground and I do mean everywhere so give it your best shot!”

Diavolo: “Many of the eggs contain wonderful surprises! Coupons for your favorite cafes, gift cards for your favorite stores, Grimm, fun tokens, cup-cuties, and more! But beware because there are also eggs that contain a wide variety of tricks of all kinds! You should expect flesh-eating piranha plants, bees, angry spiders, blasts of spider webs, teleportation, and potential small explosions!”

Luke and Mammon turned white but the demon students seemed extra excited by this news. Danger was an everyday occurrence for them and simply counted as fun or mildly inconvenient at best. As a human, you had a protection spell placed upon you in case of minor explosions. Luke and Simeon also had protective spells. Raphael opted to forgo this as he “wasn’t weak.”

With a wide smile, Diavolo raised his hand and everyone gathered into groups or faced the directions they planned to scour.

Diavolo: “On your marks!”

Diavolo: “Get ready!”

Diavolo: “Set!”

Diavolo: “GO!”

The ground shook as the hundreds of demons, three angels, reaper, and human sprinted past the booth.

You laughed and Diavolo helped you regain balance and handed you your basket.

Diavolo: “Shall we go observe?”

An explosion went off.

MC: “Yes!”

Barbatos trailed far behind you and Diavolo so you could talk more privately. You passed by students stuck to walls with spider webs. Students dressed more oddly than when they’d arrived. You passed by Mammon hanging from the ceiling and weren’t sure whether it had been Raphael, Lucifer, or a genuine trap. Either way, Diavolo burst into laughter alerting the others to your location immediately.

Barbatos cut Mammon down and you continued to walk with your empty basket as you enjoyed the sounds of chaos all around you.

Diavolo eyed your basket and nudged you gently.

Diavolo: “Is there someone you were hoping to go find eggs with?”

(To be continued | the remaining story with be different based on the character you choose to go with. They are all currently being written and will all be released in the following week unless unforeseen circumstances delay the writing)

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pupkashi · 1 year

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egg hunting

gojo’s never been easter egg hunting, you decide it’s time for the famous bunny to pay him a visit

a/n: hi hi !! i have no idea if easter egg hunting is an american thing or not but i felt like this would b so cute so plz let’s just go w this for now thank u friends

wordcount: 1,353

masterlist

“did you ever make an easter egg hunt for megumi?” you asked, your eyes leaving the easter commercial on the tv and looking at your lover walk back from the kitchen with a cup of water.

he shook his head and furrowed his brows, “is that like a real thing people do? i thought it was just a thing on tv and movies”

you looked at him in disbelief, “what? why would they lie about people doing that?” you laughed, moving a bit so that satoru could get comfortable as he settled into your side.

“hm, guess i just never thought about it much, growing up i never really go to do much kid stuff anyway” he stated, your heart sank as you recalled what he’d told you about his childhood, “did you?”

“a couple times” you smiled, recalling the memories, gojo only hummed and focused back on the show, not thinking much about the conversation.

a small pout settled on your lips as you thought about how much kid gojo would’ve loved egg hunts, your heart hurting for him.

after only a few short minutes you’d decided to take it upon yourself and help him heal his inner child. first thing tomorrow you’d go and buy his favorite sweets, fill some plastic eggs and hide them in the backyard.

and that was exactly what you did.

you’d spent all morning driving around finding a store that still had good candy and those damn plastic eggs and a little basket in stock. it took you an hour to write out the reasons you loved him and stuff them in each egg, fill them with candy and then write a clue as to where the next egg was.

by the time you’d finished, your hand was exhausted and you wanted nothing more than to nap. but you grabbed the eggs, hid them around the backyard as best you could before finally sprawling on the couch.

you hadn’t realized you’d fallen asleep until the feeling of you being pick up woke you up. your eyes fluttered open, arms instinctively wrapping tightly around your lovers neck.

“toru?” you mumbled, blinking the sleep away and smiling as he looked at you, his blindfold replaced by sunglasses resting on the tip of his nose.

“morning sleepy head” he smiled, laying you gently on the bed before joining you.

“no get up!” you spoke, scrambling off of the bed and grabbing his wrist, pulling him off the bed. “i did something for you!” you smiled, pulling him to the backyard and handing him the baby blue basket with a cartoon bunny.

“what’s this sweets?” he asked, a confused look on his face before looking back at you. his confusion only grew as you handed him a small sheet of paper.

look by the first flowers we planted

the words were scribbled on the paper in your handwriting, his heart raced as you giggled. he stared at the paper for a bit longer, glancing up at you before refocusing on the words.

“sweetheart wh-” you cut him off before he could ask anymore questions, “just go with it, okay?” there was a wide smile on your face as he walked closer and closer to the flowers, staring at them before glancing back at you.

“what am i supposed to do now?” he asked, you couldn’t stop the warmth growing in your chest.

“angel, you have to look around the flowers not just stare at them and expect them to talk to you” you laughed. gojo only blushed as he looked around the flowers, find an orange plastic egg with a piece of paper taped onto it

“what’s this?” he mumbled, picking the egg up and reading the piece of paper. a smile forming on his lips as he realized what was happening.

you found the first egg! i knew you could do it <3 you’ll find another where the birds chirp

gojo looked back at you, childlike wonder in his eyes as he raced around the backyard, finding the eggs quickly. you felt yourself falling deeper and deeper in love as his laughter and comments filled your ears, a smile on his face when he found the last egg, placing it in his basket and running towards you.

“i found them all! do i get to open them now?” you nodded, opening the door to let the both of you in before sitting on the couch. “do i have to open them in a certain order?” he asked and you shook your head.

“however you want lover,” you smiled, giddy with excitement as you watched your boyfriend, who was practically glowing with happiness.

you watched as his smile only grew when he realized there was candy in each egg, his slender fingers opening the small scroll on paper.

i love how caring you are

he knew it was your handwriting, but he still turned to you, a soft look on his face, “you wrote this?” his voice was gentle and you nodded, motioning for him to open the other eggs.

as he opened more eggs, he was greeted with more reasons you loved him. by the time he reached the final egg he had found it was taking everything in him to not burst into tears.

i love you for you, satoru

as he read the words over and over again he couldn’t stop himself from throwing himself onto you, wrapping you in his arms and squeezing tightly. you weren’t caught off guard by his sudden affection, almost instinctively wrapping your arms around his torso and holding him just as tightly.

hot tears landed on your neck but you didn’t say anything, only prying yourself from your lovers arms and wiping his tears with the sleeve of your shirt. you press feather light kisses to his damp cheeks, you were always gentle with him.

“i love you, angel boy” you whispered, he could hear the smile as you spoke, the words landing atop his heart like bandages, healing parts of him he didn’t know were wounded.

he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, opting instead to squeeze you a bit tighter, burying his face in the crook of you neck and pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

you returned the action, letting him take his time before he pulled away with a quiet sniffle, giggling and shoving a piece of candy in his mouth.

“i just realized you’re still in your uniform,” you smiled, gojo just nodded.

“was gonna shower but then i found out the Easter bunny had paid a visit” he grinned, popping another one of the candies in his mouth.

“go shower, you smell like dirt and something else” your nose scrunching as he sniffed himself.

“might be blood” he shrugged, your eyes going wide as you got up to check him over. gojo only smiled, grabbing you by the waist and bringing you into his lap, pressing a kiss to you lips. “‘s not mine sugar, don’t worry.”

you sighed in relief, running your fingers through his hair. “well you still stink” you teased, he only pouted at your words, standing up with you still in his arms, easily carrying you and setting you in the couch.

“how can you do something so sweet and then say something so mean” he sighed, you only rolled your eyes, smiling at how hurt he sounded.

“hurry and shower, i was gonna order your favorite and then we can watch some movies until we get sleepy” gojos eyes lit up at your words, rushing to the restroom and turning the water on.

you were glad you could do something for satoru. sure you couldn’t buy him the most expensive gifts, you couldn’t solve all his problems or give him everything he wanted.

but you could give the smaller things in life, you could give him your love and remind him how much you loved him, how much he meant to you and the endless amounts of things he’d yet to experience in life.

that to gojo was everything he’d ever wanted. he’d only ever want you.

#i had no idea how to end it #i apologize if it sucked </3 #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru imagine #gojo satoru one shot #gojo satoru drabble #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo satoru x reader fluff

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queenkhaleesistark · 27 days

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Dramione celebrate Easter

Hermione was sat at home in the dining room, trying to feeding her toddler Scorpius. He was refusing as he was cutting a tooth and it hurt.

“Come on Scorpi. We need to get round to Nana and Grandad for Easter Sunday” Hermione sighed at her bubbly toddler.

Draco comes in from the garden. Dressed in his Sunday best, sleeves rolled up and looking exhausted. He had their family dog Teddy the cavapoo in his arms.

“Why do muggles put eggs everywhere? I didn’t expect my Sunday to be wrestling it out of Teddy’s mouth. He’s not going to remember this Mione” Draco exasperated as he put the dog down and shut the patio door. Teddy scurried off to his bed.

“I know but it’s tradition. My parents did it for me and my cousins. It’s to show the Easter bunny came” She said to her husband. She gestured bunny ears with her fingers which made Scorpius laugh.

“Bunnies? Rabbits do not lay eggs my sweet wife” Draco laughed and was met with laughing back.

“It’s a pagan tradition. You should know! The bunny symbolises fertility and spring is rebirth. Your mother didn’t teach you much” Hermione chuckled.

“I know that Mione! But why the eggs? And chocolate too?” Draco asked as he sat next to his family.

“Well I think we have the Germans to thank for that and Queen Victoria” She sighed.

“And that has something to do with your God, how? You told me he died which is Good Friday, he was buried. Holy Saturday, he was laid to rest and today we celebrate him rising. Sounds like magic to me” Draco explained.

“I’m surprised you remembered that. No idea. But it’s been around for years. I told my mum we had a good reason for missing mass and she would learn later” Hermione exclaimed. Draco smiled as he rested his hand on her stomach.

“Blaise did used to say that we humped like rabbits” Draco laughed as he kissed her cheek. She batted him on the shoulder. All the laughing had turned Scorpius’ attention away from the food and Hermione was able to feed him quickly.

“Right, little man. Daddy is taking you to get dressed and I’ll finish the pudding for Grandma” Hermione cooed as she picked Scorpius’ from his high chair and gave him to his waiting father. He giggled and was babbling dada. Hermione was topping off her cake with small chocolate eggs.

“That cake does look nice. Not as delectable as you” Draco said as he eyed Hermione in her floral dress and pinched her bottom.

“Behave! There’s two children in the room” Hermione feigned a gasp as she covered Scorpius’ ears and kissed her husband. The happy family of three soon to be four.

A/N Long time no see tumblr. Sorry been extremely busy with uni and life. I’m 25 now! I didn’t do one of these at Christmas so here’s an Easter one! How I thought Draco would react to an Easter egg hunt in his garden. Happy Easter,

Rosie

#dramione #draco malfoy #draco x hermione #hermione granger #easteregghunt #Easter #Dramione fanfic #Dramione imagines #Draco learns about muggles #married Dramione #scorpius malfoy #smol scorpius

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ancestorsalive · 26 days

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The Anglo-Saxon chronicler Bede gave us this simple explanation for the name of the festival. "Eostremonath has a name which is now called Paschal month, and which was once named after a goddess of theirs named Eostre, and in her honour feasts were held in that month. Now they name the Paschal season by her name, calling the joy of the new rite by the time-honoured name of the old rite." Nothing else is known about Eostre, although Jacob Grimm did speculate that the old German name Ostara was probably her cognate. He was trying to work backwards from traditions he saw in his time and it was only a theory, but it would be logical to assume a connection with Eostre in the lands the Anglo-Saxons originated from. Eggs and bunnies are not connected in any way to Eostre, these traditions come about much later on and within a Christian context. Eggs were prohibited during Lent so people would have had a glut of them to use at Easter, and I have no doubt lots of them were painted and blessed for the occasion. The Easter bunny was always a hare, never a rabbit, and hopped out of the mists of 17th century German Lutheran folklore. During the Medieval era it was also commonly believed that hares could impregnate themselves, leading to an association with Mary. So here's a medieval Easter bunny, a 14th century carving of a hare at, you guessed it, the Church of St Mary, at Elmley Castle in Worcestershire. Have a great Easter! ~ Hugh Williams On another note: "There is simply no evidence for this commonly repeated myth. It’s not factually true and is simply speculation by one monk in 725. There is no evidence that he was correct about this. There are no references or images of Eostre anywhere else or in anything else at all. He also documents Woden and Thor, but they are verified as deities that were worshiped, but not so with Eostre. In fact it appears to be far more probable that the name of the lunar month Eosturmonath is actually a reference to “the month of opening” for the rather obvious reason that it is springtime. When it comes to this goddess, we have no images, no carvings and no legends, just this single reference by Bede that appears to be speculation, and so that is why most folklorists will dismiss the assertion that Easter is named after the goddess Eostre as a myth. Ronald Hutton, expert in pre-Christian religion, argues that: "It is equally valid, however, to suggest that the Anglo-Saxon ‘Estor-monath’ simply meant ‘the month of opening’ or ‘the month of beginnings’, and that Bede mistakenly connected it with a goddess who either never existed at all, or was never associated with a particular season but merely, like Eos and Aurora, with the dawn itself.’3" Hard to find a better source than Prof Hutton." ~ Matt Lewis

and this link for further reading: https://www.timesofisrael.com/the-pagan-goddess-behind-the-holiday-of-easter/?fbclid=IwAR2IhpTsPjt0pMkSyyR0w4COXVI3d3QCSzVA6bGzTH1sYWgDAsuctNIrpaw_aem_AbAxlLoqWL9_Hf4CqCBG3mcZ8C_jut9RiJ6rl_5cGae-d0HHJMpMQ0NmAQsYgZkITXjnee-AcUwFAHZAqf_6rtGF

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faith-nerd · 3 months

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I may be about to do something crazy.

So, I've been following the Villain Song Showdown by @its-to-the-death , and while there are some underapprecited gems in there (I am so glad Barbie Villains are getting some recognition), there was a lack of VeggieTales Villain Songs.

I tried to think of any that I might have submitted if I'd known about the tournament during submissions, and well... there were a few.

Do I want to be crazy enough to try to run a VT Villain Song Tournament?

So this is my putting it out there to see if anyone would be interested.

Hypothetical Details:

I've got 16 songs that would for sure be in this hypothetical tournament, should there be one. They're not necessarily all equal in my eyes, but they're all what I consider to be villain songs from VeggieTales episodes:

Oh no, what're we gonna do? (Where's God when I'm Scared: Daniel in the Lion's Den)

Busy, Busy (Are You My Neighbor: Tale of Flibber-o-loo)

The Bunny Song (Rack Shack and Benny)

Keep Walking (Josh and the Big Wall)

The Rumor Weed Song (Larry-Boy and the Rumor Weed)

Salesmanz Rap (Madame Blueberry)

I Must Have It (King George and the Ducky)

Haman's Song (Esther, the Girl Who Became Queen)

What is up with Lyle? (Lyle the Kindly Viking)

113 Years Ago (An Easter Carol)

Temptation (Larry-Boy and the Bad Apple)

You Know Enough (Pistachio: the Little Boy that Woodn't)

The Prince of Ham I Am (Robin Good and His Not-So-Merry Men)

Freeze, Freeze, Freeze (League of Incredible Vegetables)

I'm Gonna Tear it Down (Celery Night Fever)

Good for the Grabbing (Veggies in Space: The Fennel Frontier)

And I've got 8 that either I'm not sure if they're really villain songs, or that episode has another song in the 16 For Sure. While I wouldn't have a real "Submission Period," I would accept propaganda on why these or any others I forgot should be included:

I'm so Blue (Madame Blueberry)

I Love My Duck (King George and the Ducky)

It's Laura's Fault (Larry-Boy and the Fib from Outer Space)

We're Vikings (Lyle the Kindly Viking)

Our Big Break (Star of Christmas)

I'm Blue (Ballad of Little Joe)

No Strings Attached (Pistachio: The Little Boy that Woodn't)

Jolly Joe's (The Pirates Who Don't do Anything)

I will say to keep this small (There's a reason I'm considering doing a VeggieTales Villain Songs Tournament and not an All Types of VeggieTales Villain Songs Tournament), this would only be direct-to-video/dvd episodes or feature length films. No VeggieTales in the House, nothing made for tv, nothing from 3-2-1 Penguins or Cartoon Adventures of Larry-Boy (although I don't think there's any from eny of those anyway... maybe there's a VT ITH).

So, yeah, throwing it out there, seeing if anyone's interested, and we'll go from there.

#veggietales

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mamirhodessxox · 23 days

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Silly prompts I decided not to publish

Indications of smut

IHYM

🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤

“I mean it made sense to put you as an assassin, your killing body count is over 60.” “Okay well I have my reasons.” Cody & Sasha

“So what do we do if we get caught by the fbi?” “We won’t.” 2 hours later “State your name & why your in here please” “god fucking damnit seth.”-Marianna & Seth

“Is sasha okay? She came out here limping.” “Don’t worry about it Barbra. You wouldn’t wanna know”-Barbra & Randy

“Be a good girl & sit here, don’t speak don’t think just look pretty f’me kay?” “Fine but I expect you to fuck me later.”-Cody & Sasha

“WHO THE FUCK RUINED MY DEVILED EGGS FOR EASTER!?” “Uh ohhh…”-Marianna & seth

*Cody & Randy seeing one of romans business buildings blow up during a heist & start running by sasha* “Sasha what did you do?!” “Oh my god stop! I made sure nobody was in there! I’m just a girl.” “It’s like 2001 all over again.” “What did she do in 2001?!” “Nothing you should worry about right now.”Cody, Sasha & Randy

“Guys I think I’m lactose intolerant” “You didn’t think about that when you broke the fucking toilet in 2013?” “Shut up.”-Seth & Cody

“Why is Sasha on the kitchen table singing 80’s music?” “She’s drunk.”-Cody & Marianna

*Barbra holding a 70’s house party & Sasha pushing a fake mustache on his face & seth walks in* “OHh shit! Freddie Mercury in the hizzhouse!” “Shut the fuck up Seth.” “C’mon sing! Sing me bohemian rhapsody.” “I’m going to kill you when your sisters not looking.”-Seth & Cody

“GUYS I THINK I BROKE MY RIB DOING THE FUCKING WORM?!” “I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THE WORM NOBODY DOES THAT IN THE 70S” “OKAY WELL I STILL DID IT!”-Cody & Sasha

“State your name & Age.” “I want to speak to my lawyer.” “You blew up an entire bus full of cocaine. We don’t think you should have a lawyer.”-FBI Agent & Seth

“I don’t think you should cuss around a baby.” “Really? I don’t think you should be around a fucking baby.”-Seth & Cody

“Cody & I have decided that we are just gonna be the cool rich Aunt & Uncle because I really don’t feel like tearing open my vagina for a child who’s got a large head like Cody.” “Okay my head was NOT that big as an infant relax” “whatever You say airhead”-Sasha & Cody

“Now who the hell is gonna give me grandchildren?” “Don’t worry mom I’m still seeing Becky.” “The fact becky still wants you is shocking.”-Barbra, Seth & Randy

“Marianna what did you do with Athena’s body?” “Fed it to an orca.” “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FEED HER TO AN ORCA?” “I have my ways.”-Randy, Seth & Marianna

“I like my women mentally unstable.” “Of course you do, that why you’re dating my sister.” “She does it so well.” “At being a psychopath? Yeah no fuck.”-Cody & Seth

“Bunny where’s my briefcase.” “I set it on fire and dumped it in the ocean.” “Why the fuck would you do that?” “I thought the FBI was going to raid search the house yesterday.”-Randy & Marianna

“guys look I’m a cowgirl for halloween!” “But can you ride me like a cowgirl?” “Cody can you please let me enjoy this costume and get out of my face?”-Sasha & Cody

“Is Sasha okay I hear screaming upstairs?” “Don’t worry about it.”-Marianna & Randy

*Sasha limping a little bit while walking around a mall.* “Sash’ are you okay?? Did you hurt your ankles?” “No but I hurt her va-“ “OOOKAY CODY…Why don’t you look at cigars or something.”-Marianna, Cody & Randy

“Cody where are my panties?” “I ripped them..?” “Why would you do that?!” “Because i was about to rearrange your guts??”-Sasha & Cody

*Sasha, Randy, Marianna, Cody & Seth sneaking into Romans house* “Does anyone know where Sasha Went?” *Gunshots* “found her.”-Randy & Marianna

“Where is Sasha?” *Random screaming in the kitchen & Seth yelling back* “It’s about to get VERY bloody soon somebody stop her.”-Barbra

“Thank you for taking me out to dinner! I really needed it” “I know you did sweetheart, you almost cut off Seth’s hand for breathing near you”-Marianna & Randy

*Randy & Mari at the mall “CAN I PLEASE GET ONE MORE?” “bunny you said that last time to the last 6 other stuffies” “PLEAAA-“ *Randy buying the 80000th stuffed animal* “Thank you :3”-Randy & Marianna

🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤💀🖤

🏷️ list: @alyyaanna @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41 @femdisa @kabloswrld @claymoresofinfamy23 @jeysbvck

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alpaca-clouds · 5 months

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Paganism in medieval Europe

Okay, you know what? Fuck it. I am going to continue rambling about medieval Europe for a while. It is kinda fitting for the season anyways given that I associate winter and the holiday season with Lord of the Rings first and foremost.

So, let me talk about this one myth about the middle ages that exists in two opposite versions... and both are wrong! Paganism in medieval Europe is one of those things that people really love to get wrong and depict in whatever way suits them.

On one hand we have the conservative Christians who will basically ignore how paganism was for a while in the very early medieval period at times suppressed with violence and just go: "Europe is Christian and basically was always Christian, because that is just how it is."

While on the other hand you have the Neo Pagans (especially white women) who will tell you: "Oh, yeah, paganism was so suppressed, but some very curagous women still kept it alive and they were also burned during those medieval witch hunts!!!" (If you want to know why the witch hunts were not medieval, look right over here.)

Both are not right. Because the truth is a lot more complicated. Some of you might have even heard about this one part of it - Christmas.

See, here is the thing: Yes, during the pagan hunts (which mostly happened between the late 4th and the 8th century) paganism was very, very much suppressed within Europe. Again, temples and holy sites were burned down, idols were defaced and so on and so forth. And yes, people were killed during those times for their beliefs. How many died during this time? Frankly, we do not know. There have been some mass graves found in Eastern Europe that we assume are connected to this - but we frankly do not know how many died or were displaced due to this.

But... And you know there is always a "but". Christians realized after a while - just like the Romans did when it came to suppressing Christians - that suppression actually does not work very well in terms of converting people to your religion. So, they tried a different approach: Incorporation.

And this is where the Christmas story comes in. I do not need to tell you that even if Jesus really existed, the entire "travelling so so long for the citizen count" and basically all about the birth story is made up. This is something we can proof. And even if it happened, it would not have happened at midwinter. So, no, December 24th or 25th is not the birthday of Jesus.

No, the reason that midwinter became Christmas is, that basically all of the indigenous European religions celebrated midwinter. So, to convert thema after a while the Christians went: "Oh, we also have this super rad midwinter celebration, because it turns out that our Jesus was tots born on midwinter, you know?" This story is fairly well known. What people do realize less is that it was not just midwinter.

Over the time a lot of indigenous religious festivities were incorporated into the just Christianity. Old gods now became saints, with angels and saints absorbing old pantheons. That way Christians could remain with the "only one God" argument, but also be like: "Oh, yeah, you can totally keep worshipping your gods, because see, they were actually angels!"

Which is also why Christian tradition does differ always a bit between the different countries throughout Europe. Like which of the Christian holidays are celebrated and in what way is not the same. Because they often were mixed up with whatever indigenous holiday happened around the same time.

So, yes. A part of European paganism survived even until the modern day. But not through rebellious women or anything like that, but thanks to Christians just incorporating those holidays into their own religion.

... And also that is why we have an Easter Bunny.

#history #medieval history #european history #middle ages #paganism #pagan #christianity #christian #witch hunts #religion #religious history #witchcraft #fantasy #high fantasy #colonialism

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weministertomonsters · 2 years

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The Easter Bunny 2

"I can't believe Macy and her cluster of roaches broke the whole damn door down. They're only four and five-year-olds," Max grumbles as he surveys the garden shed doorway the next day. "I think the hinges need to be replaced. They're rusted as fuck."

"I'll buy new ones," Sophia says, glancing at you and raising an eyebrow.

Her puzzled expression basically asks "what's up with him?"

You shrug in response.

"Mama!" Macy hollers from inside. "My dolly is stuck in the toilet!"

"I told you not to play swimming pool in the toilet!" Sophia calls back. "That's why I bought the dolly's their own pool, remember?"

She turns to the two of you. "I should probably go rescue the dolls. Do you want to get started? I should probably begin cooking lunch as well. Think you can manage?"

Max grunts.

"We'll be fine," you say and make a shooing motion with your hands.

Once Sophia is gone you turn to Max.

"Care to explain why you've been a grumpy ass all morning?"

He grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into the shed, pushing you against the wall and planting his hands on either side.

"Do you know, I barely slept. I love Macy and all but I wanted to grab her by the scruff of her neck when she-"

"They didn't mean to break the door, they were just excited," you reason.

Max flicks one ear. "No, when they interrupted us."

"Oh." You gulp. "Yeah, that."

"Do you still... I mean, did you ever..." He trails off, looking tortured.

It's not often you see him at loss for words. You reach up and pet him, running your fingers through his fur. He sighs and leans into you. His muzzle rests against your shoulder, blunt whiskers prickling against your neck.

"Fuck," he whispers and his voice breaks.

"What is it, Max? You can tell me."

"I'm... So turned on right now," he mutters against your shoulder. "I've been thinking about what you said about being alone together. Did you mean it?"

"I did. I know I said it jokingly but I've always wished we could." You bite your lip. "Remember when we went camping last year? I heard you, um, jerking off one night. I couldn't help touching myself. Pretending it was you-"

Max grabs your hips, yanking you against him. "Fuck, that's so hot," he pants.

"I've never cum so hard in my life," you admit.

Max groans. "T-touch me, please?"

"I've never heard you beg for anything ever," you murmur. "I like it."

You trail your hand through his fur, feeling the subtle muscle definition of his chest and stomach, teasing his nipples until his fur gets puffy from the stimulation and he's trembling under your hands.

"Are you okay? You're not a virgin are you?"

"No," he gasps. "But its been awhile and when you touch my nipples like that... They get really sensitive."

He is tall enough that you don't have to bend to kiss the top left one, licking over the tiny bud, your tongue slicking the fur around it.

He lets out a choked gasp and you smirk. Your lips curve down when you remember where you are.

"Anyone can walk in on us." You remind him. "Sophia, Macy..."

"It's just about time for Macy's nap. And I don't care. I want you right now. No, I need you. Please?" His nose bumps against yours gently as he wheezes out a heated breath.

Your squeeze your thighs together, slightly thrilled at the idea of doing this right now. In a garden shed. Max is so needy, the sight of him alone arouses you as well. He's wearing pants tailored for his haunches and tail, so you reach for the button. He grabs your wrist, eyes flaring open.

"W-wait. I, uh... I don't exactly look the same as a human male down there."

"I know," you give him a gentle smile. "You have a sheath and a barbed cock. But the barbs are soft, right?"

"Yeah." He slowly releases your wrist and lifts his hips for you.

You quickly unbutton his pants and work them off his legs, taking a moment to fawn over his back feet. His toes are a little too large to be classified as toe beans but they're still cute. You raise your gaze to the spot between his legs. His furry sheath is the same color as his body, smaller than a werewolf's but with more girth. His balls hang snugly underneath, covered in slightly darker fur.

He begins to cover himself with a paw but you grab his hand.

"No hiding from each other," you instruct.

He whimpers and obeys but clutches your hand like he needs something to hold onto as he sits back on his heels.

"Can I touch you?" You murmur.

"God, yes! Please."

You reach out and touch his sheath. His hidden cock reacts immediately, throbbing and beginning to emerge, dripping and flushed pink. The barbs look less intimidating than you remembered from sex ed and when you run a finger along them, they feel more like pronounced bumps than actual barbs.

Max lets out a hiss and releases your hand to dig his claws into the already peeling floorboards. His stomach tightens as his cock unsheathes fully, slippery against your hand.

"Whoa," you murmur.

"It's okay if it grosses you out..." Max pants.

You suppress an eye-roll and lean forward, licking the slightly pointed tip and letting it slip into your mouth. Max lets out a hiss and his hips jerk wildly, shoving more of him into your mouth until his musky sweet taste hits the back of your throat. You gag in surprise and pull back slightly.

"Sorry! I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" He gasps, sliding a hand through your hair and pushing it away from your face.

"No. That just startled me," you murmur, engulfing him again, ready for any wild reactions he may give you.

But he seems to be holding back. You can hear the wood splintering in small pieces under his claws as you slide him into your mouth until your tongue tickles the base of him right at the opening of his sheath. The little barbs on his cock rub against your tongue and you concentrate on them until his hips break out of their short jerks and he's thrusting into your face again, making a low purring sound so strong his stomach vibrates with it.

As much as you love the taste and feel of him, his cock is too girthy and your jaw is already aching. So you pull up for air and kiss his tightened jaw. His hand wraps carefully around your neck as he licks his taste from your lips, moaning.

"Fuck... Can I touch you?"

You grin. "I thought you'd never ask," you reply.

His hand creeps under your shirt, his eyes lighting up. "No bra."

"Nope," you sigh, leaning further into his touch and inviting him to play with your aching nipples.

"Were you hoping something would happen?" He asks, pinching your nipples roughly as if he wants to squeeze the truth out of them.

"As much as I bet you were." You push him off balance so he's sitting and swiftly straddle him.

Both of you can smell your arousal and now that you're straddling him like that, he can feel that you have no underwear on. His pupils become rounder as his ears perk up. You smirk before your smile fades into a frown of concentration.

"Can you fuck me now, Max?"

"Yes," he murmurs, gripping your hips.

His claws are slightly chipped from digging into the floorboards and he has to be extra careful not to prick you with them as he struggles to keep them retracted in his paws. You help guide his cock into you, gritting your teeth at the stretch.

"I don't think I've ever felt so full," you sigh.

"You're so tight," he whimpers. "I could cum right now."

"Not yet," you gasp. "I want to feel you inside me."

You begin to rock, sliding back until his cock is nearly out of you, then letting it slip into you until the pointed tip is deep inside you and the barbs stimulate your walls. Your wetness and his pre-cum make everything so slippery so it's easier for him to fit inside you. The fur on his lower belly is getting damp from your mixed arousal but he doesn't care.

His head is thrown back, giving you a glimpse of his sharp fangs. You kiss the column of his throat and thrust your hips so he hits the sweet spot inside you. You cry out and your walls clamp around his cock.

"Fuck, I'm really going to cum," he whimpers. "Please? Can I?"

You thrust your hips faster, biting your bottom lip until it almost bleeds. You can feel body reaching the edge of the cliff and tensing up.

"Yes, you can cum," you gasp. "Cum for me, Max."

He doesn't need any more encouragement, arching into your thrusts and shuddering as his cock empties his seed into you. He lets out a small choked sound. Your own orgasm is mixed with the sensation of being stuffed full of cum until it's leaking out of you and you clamp around his cock, savoring the feeling of being so full.

Together you sink onto the floor which is hardly clean but neither are both of you at this point. You place your head on Max's chest and catch your breath. He purrs softly, curling around you contentedly. His cock slowly slips out of you, tucking back into his sheath.

Your phone buzzes and when you check, it's a text from Sophia:

You must be hungry from all the work you've done! Lunch is ready!

The text ends with a knowing winking emoji.

#exophilia #monster x reader #terato #monster fucker #monster smut

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whoiwanttoday · 1 year

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Happy Easter guys, hope you have a good one. Usually I'd make some effort to make an Eastery post with bunny costumes or something but the truth is I couldn't be assed to do so this year. I am tired. So I am posting Sydney Sweeney instead because she's attractive but also because all of Easter is wrapped up in fertility symbolism and she has boobs. I dunno if you noticed but she does. And while breasts themselves are debatable in how well they indicate fertility they have always been a very popular symbol for fertility since prehistoric times. This is because while there are some shitty people who love to feel smart by shitting on how dumb ancient people are, people are people and people have always been smart and it means people have always gotten breasts were great. They may not have known why but they knew. You can conclude they must be important cause you keep looking at the and you're not some idiot who wastes their time looking at unimportant things if you're a hunter gatherer. It's been a long time since I've talked about it so why not help illuminate what the ancients instinctively knew but couldn't articulate and what we have figured out building on the foundations of knowledge they and all our ancestors have passed down to us. Breasts are the only reason human civilization exists, they are the only reason this post can exist, they are the only reason you have the mental capacity to read and understand this post, they are the only reason we have complex language. You see, other mammals are born with muzzles or snouts. We are not which means our head can be a lot bigger because I want all of you guys to think about vagina, like really think about it, and now think about a human head fitting there. It's kind of wild it gets out but now imagine if you added a muzzle or a snout. It doesn't work, not even a little bit. The only way you're getting that head through is by making the head as a whole smaller. That means decreased brain size. That means less brain power and thus we're just dumb animals with snouts and tiny boobs because boobs lose their purpose. See, human breasts are gigantic. Everyone. Anyone out there insecure because you think you have small breasts I am here to tell you they are massive. Biologically human breasts are just gigantic, no one else really has them, their breasts and nipples are just flat against their body most of the time. Thus the snout or muzzle because baby animals need to be able to reach the nipple and still breathe. With our faces if human women didn't have large breasts our noses would crush against their bodies and we would suffocate ourselves trying to eat as children. Thus the options for evolution is die (this one is bad), have a snout of muzzle (this means we're dumber), or big breasts so we can eat and breath and think deep thoughts (this is us, humans, we're perfect). So what I am saying is the human breast is fantastic and we should all be thankful for it because it's the only reason we're here. And Sydney Sweeney made me think of that, she is a living bit of representation that we are an evolutionary marvel and if you find yourself looking at her chest it's only because deep down you know it's the reason you have the life you do. Happy Easter everybody. Today I want to fuck Sydney Sweeney.

#Sydney Sweeney #blonde #Actress #whoiwanttofucktoday

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nothorses · 1 year

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I think what's especially annoying to me about the "culturally Christian" argument is that people pushing the phrase (as a way of referring to individuals) tend to argue that it's describing a difference in what you know about cultures and religions outside of Christianity.

That's how they justify applying it to atheists and agnostics who don't come from a minority religion background, right? You don't know about any other religion, you must know about Christianity no matter what because that's the dominant religion here, which means you're closer to Christianity than anything else.

But like.

I was raised atheist by people who were raised atheist. Adults around me knew about Christianity, but because we never talked about it, I didn't know anything about any religion for a good chunk of my childhood.

I found out Christmas was a religious holiday when I was like 9; I thought it was about Santa before that, and I literally did not know what the nativity scene was.

I thought Easter was about eggs and bunnies until I was about the same age. I did not understand who Jesus was when it was finally explained to me; I received that information in 7th grade social studies class, when my teacher was explaining the divergence of the three Abrahamic religions.

I learned the vast majority of what I know about Christianity in art history classes I took for my degree, and I was, at the same time, working at a Jewish afterschool program; a not-insignificant part of my job was helping to lead Shabbat prayers and teaching kids about upcoming Jewish holidays. We discussed Jewish values and how they related to the structure of the program very regularly. I cannot stress enough that this was part of a Jewish community center in which a Rabbi worked and relevant gatherings and celebrations happened.

I would say I know more about Christianity, but it's not a huge margin, and a lot of that is repetition; things I've learned about Christianity have been reinforced and repeated over time, and that's not really true of Judaism for me. Had I worked at the JCC for more than two years, my answer might be different.

I would say that I received a lot of Christian messaging growing up, because our broader cultural values are heavily rooted in those ideas. Everyone gets that messaging. What they do with it might depend on their family's culture and religion, and it might depend on their own internal processing. I can say, personally, that much of that messaging didn't stick for me; I realized there was no "real" reason for those beliefs at a pretty young age, and spent a lot of time obsessing over the internal consistency of my own value system. I rejected a lot of them, often without even knowing where they were coming from.

So yeah, you could absolutely say I know more about Christianity, I've been exposed to more of it, and that I've been surrounded by more of it. But everyone in this country experiences this too some degree; to draw highly individualized conclusions about that based on the fact that I'm an atheist alone feels disingenuous, to say the least. Atheism is why I was questioning those things, and rejecting many of them; how is that different from other beliefs? Why does the fact that there is no higher power involved make that less significant than for those who do believe in one?

Don't get me wrong, our culture is Christian. This has an impact on individuals, and I think it's fair to say that some people are more driven to challenge those ideas than others. I'd argue that atheism does require challenging Christian ideas on its own, but I can concede that as a generally self-directed thing, it's easier for folks to just not self-reflect in that way than it might be when going through a guided conversion process.

But.

That line isn't hard and fast, and it's unfair to insist that it is just for the sake of convenience. Particularly when Christians themselves are unwilling to include anyone different from them, especially for the sake of sharing their power.

#atheism

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nyxcreate · 5 months

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I have a question about this that I've had for quite awhile. TW : possible demotivation

. .

So if law of assumption says that anything we assume to be true will be true. So why is it that for most kids we believe in Santa or the Easter bunny, but then our parents tell us it isn't real? If we assumed it to be true for so long, why isn't it?

Or when you have plans to do something, you assume without a doubt you are going to do it, then things fall out? Wouldn't this law mean that since you believed without a doubt it would happen, that it should've happened?

Or in a more specific case, I had a game that worked and i had no reason to believe it wouldn't, yet I loaded it the one day and it stopped working. Wouldn't law of assumption mean that it should've worked since I had full belief it did?

A bit confused about this.

bc you have general assumptions ab how things aren’t in ur control. :)

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safyresky · 5 months

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So I've only watched this last week's (this has been in my drafts for WAY too long) episode once (I usually do it twice but have yet to do a second watch and feel a rewatch will be in order at some point) but I have been rotating it around in my head since tscs mutuals first started posting their thoughts and I have SO MANY thoughts because this episode ONCE AGAIN packed soo many things in one go. Why don't they understand how PACING works? My GOD.

Anyway~

My initial thoughts before even watching the episode were "this is whack". Here's why.

This is episode 3.

Of 6.

We are halfway through. And our antagonist (Mad Santa) and Protagonist (Santa Scott) have yet to cross paths. And post watching S2E3, Mad Santa only JUST got his hands on some North Pole magic.

THREE EPISODES IN. HALFWAY THROUGH.

Do you know how much stuff is going to be packed into the next THREE EPISODES? Let me make a list (bc I LOVE lists)

Mad Santa getting back to the Pole

The obligatory "I've failed ):" from Santa Scott when Mad Santa gets to the Pole

Mad Santa GETTING to the Pole

The Council giving Scott 3 months to get Cal shipshape, and episode 3 starting with Olga saying IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS.

(ALREADY????)

So we still have THAT to look forward to, assuming they even LISTEN to their own boundary, since we know this show's track record with continuity is. Bad.

PLUS we still have a Sandman cameo coming! And a big old snowball to be thrown in Scott's face! (I have my clown shoes on)

Carol is STILL trying to find the missing nutcracker. She has gotten no closer; her trail is so cold she's looking at JACK as a suspect (yes I saw the cameo too, absolutely delightful for us Jack stans on main)

(pun absolutely intended)

Cal and Sandy are only JUST talking to one another about how their magic training is going, and are only JUST like. Diving into the drawbacks of being raised up North AND NEVER GOING ANYWHERE as well as the trauma that must be there from experiencing life in the real world, ENJOYING IT, and being yanked back to the Pole for the "family business"

Befana and Sandy. So THAT is a thing that was lovely then fell apart for no good reason--it was ONE MISTAKE and could've been handled better Befana, come ON girlie!

Easter Bunny being turned back into his EB form (tho tbh we should keep him as a bunny. Sorry not sorry, I have always been an EB hater on main)

Cal dealing with A) first heartbreak over Riley (which was stupid, more on that later) B) not wanting to be/do the Santa thing BECAUSE of a MULTITUDE of reasons he has NOT shared with Scott and C) the fallout when he realizes the vest is gone. He is NOT going to tell his parents at ALL. His whole existence practically rides on "I gotta make Dad proud!" and this deffs won't do it, but HEY! Maybe the writers will surprise me and he'll be OPEN and HONEST with his Dad!

Bc let's be real, ALL OF THEIR PROBLEMS COULD BE SOLVED WITH OPEN COMMUNICATION

I am off topic. Deep breaths. Whew. SO. We have all THAT to focus on.

PLUS Sandy's powers! She's apparently more powerful than Befana thought? Sandy now has to deal with that SANS her mentor and I DOUBT Carol will be helpful with that. She WOULD'VE BEEN in the MOVIES. But SERIES CAROL? APPARENTLY NOT FUCKING LIKELY SINCE ALL OF HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HAS GONE OUT THE DOOR FOR TOKEN FEMINISM THAT IS IMMEDIATELY CHECKED OFF A LIST AND MADE IRRELEVANT WITH THE PLOT OF "One woman is jealous of another woman"

Oh my god off topic again. SORRY. RIGHT. So, we have Sandra's magic to deal with still. Her mentor/mentee relationship with Befana. Cal's own magical struggles and his relationship with his Dad in terms of Mentor/Mentee. These kids need THERAPY, SOMEONE CALL NEIL

SO ALL OF THAT. IS GOING TO BE JAM PACKED INTO THESE LAST THREE EPISODES. AND I JUST KNOW (based on last season) THE RESOLUTIONS WILL NOT PAY OFF.

So yeah, thems the opening thoughts (with some watch thoughts leaking in, admittedly).

AS FOR THE EPISODE ITSELF.

OH BOY.

It's still very mid. It gives a lot of good bits but either A) contradicts them or B) gives them not enough time to flourish (see: Carol and Befana for A, and Cal and Sandra for B). It is also STILL ignoring its own continuity, and not just from the movies, but from literally the first two episodes of the season!

Did Cupid not say. One to two episodes ago. "Hey Santa, we, the Council, aren't really sure about this Cal thing? So uh. You've got three months. and if it's not working out. We're calling it."

And did Olga not say. At the start of this episode. "It's been THREE MONTHS since we escaped and we are NO CLOSER" yadda yadda yadda.

So THREE MONTHS have passed between THIS EPISODE, AND THE LAST ONE?

SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE COUNCIL? HELLO???

I actually thought that that would be like, the big crunch time thing for the series, you know? THE plot motivator. Or at least, one of many. Like I was expecting a montage and for each episode to have a month packed in and for the final episode to involve resetting everything to Scott's ideal status quo and defeating Mad Santa and Olga. Needless to say, I was SHOOK when they opened with THAT.

Olga and Magnus are fucking hilarious, full stop. I kinda want Olga to do a stab ngl!! Their whole dynamic has been interesting lol.

The Judy cameo was a fun Easter egg, but it's a shame they didn't give it a bit more hype, you know? That would've been fun. The Jack cameo (if we can even call it that) was ALSO a fun Easter Egg, tho I am much too mad at Carol's writers rn to be like WOO JACK. But you bet your ASS I saw that lil easter egg, lol. It's kinda frustrating? They keep throwing these lil cameos/easter eggs at us like it's an attempt to placate us or smth. Idk, I am tired and JADED and Don't Trust Like That.

Right so what else. Going in for round two. Wish me luck:

Agree with ALL OF YOU about the poor elves being used as reindeer stand ins 🙄🙄 AWFUL. SOMEONE KNOCK THIS GUY OFF A ROOF FOR GOOD! DAMN! (Santa not Cal)

Sandra and Carol. GOD. So much cringe! SO MUCH! BECAUSE OF BAD PARENTING. HOW DO THEY SUCK SO MUCH AT BEING PARENTS? WE ALREADY HAD 3 MOVIES OF THIS AND CAROL WAS NEVER A W F U L

(RIP spider on Carol's shoulder)

Carol and Scott talking about the kids was just. They are SO OUT OF TOUCH. AND SCOTT HAS A SISTER??? I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS PERIODT. He has only child energy, and wow did he EVER suck at reassuring Carol. Anyone else sick of Old White Men? Anyone?

Sandra reading the transformation spell and then accidentally doing it is deffs foreshadowing. She's gonna transform the SHIT out of Magnus, calling it NOW

EB HAS APPEARED! KIDNAPPED BY OLGA! ICONIC! And they were PALS??? Magnus I am so intrigued. Who Are You

And obligatory "BLERG BLAH CONTINUITY" re: EB being there all the way back then

NTS: There is an Easter Gopher too. I am taking notes.

Scott being an undignified, pathetic name: GET HIS ASS (count: 9)

EB is so wrong about Peeps. He is falling lower and lower on my list of Legendary Figures. Him laying the egg. Cool EB magic, disgusting execution. I am 99% sure bunnies don't even LAY EGGS

Where tf do they get the eggs from???

OKAY CAL AND SANDRA

Love that they're having sibling bonding. "doing it for everyone but yourself" GET HIS ASS, SANDY. (GHA Count for Cal: 1). Hate how short the scene was and how it boiled down to a sort of silly joke (being a crossguard instead of Santa). Like. They could;ve axed the dinner with Noel scene, cut tight to Santa training Buddy (Cal), and after that debacle moved on to sibling scene and having them bond. Like. There is substance and it is there but it is not being well executed. LET THE KIDS HAVE ROOM FOR GROWTH! (but dani! we have 3 more episodes to go! SEE MY FIRST LIST! THEY DON'T HAVE THE TIME!)

Santa asking for a jetpack and Carol being like "don't force your son up there to get over the heights thing" and then telling him to just say "I love you and I'm proud", GET HIS ASS (GHA Count Scott Edition: 10. And we're not even halfway through the episode). GOD. I wish Carol would take her own advice re: Santa and Cal and apply it to Sandra and Herself, come the fuck ON guys. DO BETTER.

DINNER WITH BEFANA (Scott: can't make it Carol: Gonna kill him. GET HIS ASS)

Cool idea, HORRIBLE execution. I am not a fan of how Carol was like "woo! ladies being ladies!" and them immediately we get a plotline of her being jealous of another woman. It's very. Token/preformative feminism. It's like they are checking items off of a list. I dislike how SHALLOW most of these subjects are in the series. Like, if you don't know how to handle something like that, THEN DON'T WRITE IT. GOD.

Like. When Sandy lifts the salt with magic, SUPPORT IT. Don't be like I NEED TO ONE UP IT. Also, interesting that Mrs. Claus. Despite being Legendary by marriage. Doesn't have magic?? I think she should. GIVE CAROL MAGIC 2k23. Carol overreacted and then so did Sandy and I just think that this whole La Befana/Mrs. Claus plotline could've been done better!

Especially Befana inviting Carol over and then Carol promptly asking if she should bring a broom, something something, witch stereotypes being a thinly veiled allusion to magical racism something something

I BET IF BUDDY HAD GONE WITH CHARLIE TO THE "CLUB" HE WOULD'VE GOT IN JUST FINE

"Are you talking to the float or me" I am SO angry for Cal/Buddy. The poor kid thinks his Dad is super not proud of him, his whole existence seems to hinge on his dad's approval and I am so upset about all the implications of this I'm gonna explode things with my MIND

"Hare to the throne" Cal you are so stupid. And my GOD the Hare vs Heir argument being the reason Sandy explodes things like I just. That could've been done better.

This whole SCENE could've been done better! Befana didn't need to be so mean! It was an ACCIDENT. She explains it loud and clear and what do you MEAN something else entirely I'm SCREAMING. Befana being like we're stepping back? Like. UGH. And then the jealousy thing? Oh wow! More pitting ladies against ladies! GOD. I'm so upset about this whole thing it's unreal ):<

OKAY. SO THE SLEIGH STEALING SCENE AND WHERE THAT GOES.

WE LOVE TO SEE BUDDY AND SANDRA BONDING! STEALING THE SLEIGH! (not to get all OCs on main but JACQUELINE APPROVES). I love to see them working together to be delinquents, but my GOD the Riley thing

UGH

Like. I know we're supposed to feel bad for Buddy but like, the whole romance between him and Riley has been so ick and the way their breakup went. It was like. You KNOW. It was written to be poignant with lines like "you're always busy with your dad" and "I want you to dust me so that you never met me" which would have worked if. You know. They weren't FIVE. (16-18). It just didn't work :\. I haven't had time to like, enjoy them and they made Riley very, very. Unlikable tbh.

ALSO. Cal from CALGARY? As a Canadian, THERE ARE A BUNCH OF OTHER PLACES YOU COULD'VE PICKED! VANCOUVER? TORONTO? YOU WENT WITH CAL FROM CALGARY? I can't with y'all. ALSO. THEY DID SCHOOL TOGETHER FOR A YEAR. I FEEL AS THOUGH THE KIDS SHOULD KNOW WHO HE IS. OH YEAH THAT WEIRD EXCHANGE STUDENT WE HAD FOR A YEAR. Y'ALL ARE DOING LONG DISTANCE? SUPER! LIKE. HELLO???

Kudos to Sandra for being the funniest bitch alive with the creeping in the corner like "That was rough af bud." It's giving

ehehehe.

And FINALLY Mad Santa has his magic back. Here's how I'm guessing the next episode is going to work:

Mad Santa practises using his magic to make Santaopolis all fancy smancy

Manages to make it up north by the end of the episode

Cal has a fallout with his Dad over the Santa vest thing

It becomes a bigger deal than expected

Sandy cameo probably bc EB is missing and he was last seen THERE (Man Santa, you're really getting on the Council's radar in all the bad ways, huh? Putting Jack to shame! 273 counts of attempted upstaging of Santa vs how many billion counts of magical exposure? And an EB kidnapping? Bc I bet that'll be a thing posited next episode)

As if La Befana can't undo a spell (I AM ROLLING MY EYES)

They will make ZERO progress on figuring out who Mad Santa is and they will be very confused when he makes it to the North Pole next episode

I also tho wouldn't be surprised if they stretch Mad Santa getting to the Pole to episode 6. That seems on brand for how they treat pacing (as if it does not exist).

tl;dr: too much preformative stuff. very mid. Cal and Sandy are fun but I wish they were given more time to shine! Pour one out for our boy Noel who is having a rough go of it tbh and Kris too who's gonna get back from Costco very, very confused

#other thoughts: noel having the claus's over for food was fun. wish it had had a point aside from a scene transition #'YOUR SHAME IS SAFE WITH US' followed by olga liking marshmallows lmao that was silly #THEN THEY TRIED TO RIDESHARE WITH A GOAT??? amazing.#the santa clauses #tscs #dani watches tscs #long post #tscs wank #bc this isn't very positive and if y'all see this and are enjoying the series? i strongly suggest scrolling past it!#dani speaks

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vesora · 5 months

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I have a question about this that I've had for quite awhile. TW : possible demotivation

. .

A bit confused about this.

im not a loa blog!

if you looked through my posts you could easily answer your own questions. the past is an illusion and the 'ego' has no power

#asks

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alllostinmythoughts · 1 year

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I was not a good Witness and that’s a good thing.

When I was in, I thought I was a bad JW for things I could not control. I had poor physical health since I was a teenager and my mental health suffered because of that. I became a publisher as a tween but my hours were lacking because I could not do more than an hour a week and I did not get “return visits” or bible studies because of my severe social anxiety. I did not comment in the meetings and I had to eventually remove my self from the ministry school for the same reason.

All of those things did not make me a bad Witness. Those things were me being human and doing the best I could despite my circumstances. Now that I am out, I can see that I should not have felt ashamed nor have been made to feel guilty about it.

Here, though, are a list of things that did make me bad Jehovah’s Witness and why I think it was a good thing.

• I didn't like giving people the JW version of life after death.

A few years ago the organization updated the tracts they produced. Before they were square and had a trifold design. They had several paragraphs about whatever the front cover said it was about. Typical religious stuff. Life, death, how Jesus can save us. It was something you could give someone on the fly while out and about or to someone who said they didn't have any time to talk. The new ones are a little different. Same info, just a different format. More colorful and eye catching. Folded in half and with less info, only a couple of scriptures and sentences.

As I got older, I became increasingly uncomfortable with giving out the ones about suffering and death. I was especially uncomfortable with the ones about death. A witness will read this and think: “Why would anyone be uncomfortable with telling someone about our hope for the future.” That's why, because it is our hope, your hope. I would always think, what if we gave that tract to someone who had just lost someone. They're in the middle of grieving and you want them to contemplate an entirely new belief in the afterlife. They may already have a really strong belief that brings them comfort but then you tell them that they're wrong, and show them a couple of scriptures why they're wrong. That could devastate someone.

I know this isn't always the case. Since I was a child, I've heard stories of people who lost a loved one and then were visited by witnesses and were comforted by the witnesses version of what happens after we die and what we have to look forward to past that. But it's not like you're gonna hear a person talk about how they in-fact were not comforted, when they're giving their life experience in the Kingdom Hall. You could not look me in the eye and tell me with absolute certainty that it did not ever hurt someone.

Witnesses think that everything they believe is an absolute fact and that everybody would want to hear what they have to share. They cannot even fathom for a second that someone else may actually be happier with their current belief system and their beliefs may make someone upset.

• I didn't believe in paradise.

When you’re a child, you believe everything your parents tell you. With kids outside the organization, they’re told that Santa and the Easter Bunny is real but then kids grow up and they realize for themselves what’s real or not. Not so when it comes to witnesses.

When you’re a kid as a witnesses you’re told about this paradise and it’s nice to believe in. Who doesn’t want to play all day without worrying about anything or being able to pet lions, and tigers, and bears. Oh my.

However, when you grow up you realize the reality of the situation and you just have to be comfortable with all the implications of it.

Witnesses are a doomsday cult. They probably wouldn’t like that descriptor but it’s the truth. I might go into it further in a another post but for now, I’ll just give a brief summery. They believe that in an indeterminate future, Jesus and the angels will kill everybody on earth except Jehovah’s Witnesses and then it will be paradise. So, if you have family, nice neighbors you talk to frequently, and innocent children who aren’t witnesses, they will not make it. Think about it, there are currently close to 8 billion people on earth and there are only 8 million witnesses. Close to 8 billion people will die, just like that. Innocent people, just because they didn't believe the same things as a group of 8 million people.

I think this belief is just awful. When I was in the organization, I think I just tried to ignore it completely and didn’t even think about it to keep myself sane.

• I had political opinions.

Now this one is a doozy and something that I still struggle with, being partially sheltered from most things, especially of the political nature. But you can’t be kept away from everything and my family were not the type of witnesses that didn’t have a TV and us kids were allowed to watch anything age appropriate. (Well, we weren’t allowed to watch a few things but we weren’t extreme. That might be another interesting thing to post about.) So, things filtered through but not enough that I feel that even now, as an adult, I have an completely informed opinion on a lot of different ideas. But, I’m getting there. Hopefully.

I think, however, I was informed enough about a few topics. Like, racism and feminism. These were dirty words in the organization.

You see, on the surface, the organization could look pretty progressive. (Ignoring the blatant homophobia.) On paper they paint a pretty picture. But if you’ve lived through the organization's actual stances of these things, you’d realize that’s not actually true.

When if comes to racial inclusion, you’ll read in the books they publish, that God is impartial and that God does not favor one race, ethnicity or nationality over another. We’re taught not to have a nationalistic view of one’s country because we’re all God’s children on Earth. We’re even suppose to take a stand against drafting in the military, if we’re ever called to that, because we’re supposed to view everyone as a brother under God and how could one go to war against your brother.

But you’re also supposed to be politically neutral. So if you were to agree with the sentiment that there is a problem with police brutality currently in America, then that could get you in trouble. You would be told that you are creating division and that that is a politically held belief and we do not hold political beliefs.

When I was still in the organization, I got into an argument with someone I worked with who is a Jehovah’s Witness. It was around the time of the BLM protests. I tried to be carefully with what I said because like I said, I could get in to trouble. However, I got so frustrated with the things he was saying that eventually, I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore. I straight up asked him if he thought de-segregation was a bad thing, because that decision came from the direct result of the protests lead by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I asked him if he was okay with the fact that black people wouldn’t be working along side him, if segregation was still in effect right now. He kept trying to skirt around the question because obviously he couldn’t say he was okay with segregation but he also couldn’t agree with the protesters either.

It’s so twisted.

• I thought it was okay for other people to worship however they wanted.

I never could wrap my head around the witnesses disdain for how other people worshiped in their faith. For multiple reasons.

First, just like many witnesses who are born in, many other people in other religions were also born in to their faith. It is the only way they now how to worship. They were taught by their parents from a young age. If someone came up to a witness and told them, “By the way, the way you’ve worshiped God since you were a child is wrong and you’re gonna be punished because of it.” They would be offended. Well, no. They would probably take it as a challenge. To prove why they are the only ones in the entire world who worships the correct way. As if there is such a thing.

That’s the other reason why I couldn’t understand. I always thought it was presumptuous for any one person to claim with absolute certainty that their religion was the true religion and therefore, everything they believed and did for that religion was correct. I respect that they have the right to worship however they felt was right. However, even if you believe truly in your heart that you had everything figured out. That you found God and now you know that the way you’re going to live your life from now on out would be the correct way. You still would give other people the courtesy to have the same thing that you have and to recognize that even if you whole-heartedly believe, there would be no way for you to 100% certain. Maybe 99%, but never 100%.

So that’s it. There are many other things that made me bad bad witness but I’m proud of all of them. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe they have the moral high ground in everything they believe in but they don’t.

#ex cult #ex jehovah's witness #exjw #ex jw #long post #very long post

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