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nonstoplover · 2 years

Text

a moment to remember ~ pierre gasly (pg10)

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

pairing: pierre gasly x single mom!reader

summary: the time she and her son accidentally meet his favourite f1 driver on the street and the time they meet him again at the race. | here's pt.2 to this fic

words: 4.2K

warnings: fluff, pierre with a kid (that deserves a warning in itself, because oh my god just the thought makes me cry), the kid has a name (Austin), no beta reading + english isn't my first language

a/n: idk why but i have baby fever these days and honestly, pierre is THE perfect dad material honestly. i knew i had to write pierre with kids one day, and that day came today.

ps. i've never been to a gp so i have no clue how these things work and if i wrote it anything close to realistic or not.

please don't be a ghost reader! all feedback is well appreciated!

Her son wriggles his hand out of hers with newfound strength and bolts down the street as fast as his small feet can carry him before she can even comprehend what has caused his sudden stop mid-walk just a second beforehand.

As she starts rushing after him, hoping that he won't fall in his haste, she notices him come to a halt at a man's legs. He pokes the stranger's thigh to get his attention, and as soon as the man's eyes move down at the small figure, the boy starts speaking. Or more like squealing, to be fair. She can hear it even from afar, his high, excited voice the wind carries to her ears.

He seems unstoppable, words flowing out of his mouth as if he doesn't even need to breathe. By the time she arrives to the two of them, the kid has started telling the man the story of how he's been a fan of Formula One since he was two years old, how he doesn't even remember life without it, and how even his first word was race car. It's his favourite story to tell, she can't even count on two hands how many times she's listened to it already, but right now she has no clue why he had the sudden urge to pour it on a stranger he saw on the street.

Then her eyes move up and take in the sight of the man listening patiently to her son, and suddenly her breath catches in her throat. It's Pierre Gasly. The man her son has been obsessed with in the past years, his favourite F1 driver. How on earth did they meet him so randomly?

"I'm so sorry," (y/n) speaks up as soon as her son takes a momentary pause, probably to gather some more oxygen, just after announcing happily that they have tickets for Sunday's race and that he literally can't wait to be there. She gently grabs the little boy's shoulder to pull him a bit further away from the driver, trying to give some of his personal space back to him.

"It's completely okay," he smiles at her, eyes finally leaving the boy for the first time since he appeared by his feet.

What surprises him though is that gorgeous face that looks back at him with a worried – and adorable – expression playing on her features. Somehow he didn't expect something like this, such a beautiful, young woman standing next to him.

"I know it's hard to control kids so young when they get excited," he chuckles, making her giggle in response.

"Ugh, don't even get me started, they can be awful," (y/n) rolls her eyes playfully, the joking tone unmistakeable in her voice. She slightly leans down to be more at her son's level, "right, kiddo?"

Her son blushes furiously. "Don't make me look bad in front of him!" he exclaims, not so discreetly pointing at the man.

"Oops, sorry, Aust," she bites her bottom lip to stop the laughter threatening to bubble out. "Didn't mean to."

"It's okay," the little boy offers with a sigh that is just so adult-like that it makes Pierre chuckle once more.

Glancing down at her son she sees the idea forming in his mind right before he turns to her, beckoning her to lean even further down to his level. "I want his autograph!" he whispers in her ear, though his voice is still so loud that she's more than sure Pierre can hear it clearly too.

As she's moving her hand to fish out the sharpie from her bag she always keeps there just in case she ever needed it, she mumbles back to him. "Why don't you ask him nicely, you know, like we practised?"

(y/n) takes a quick glance up at the driver waiting patiently for them to finish the conversation between themselves, hoping that his son doesn't take too long and they don't delay him too much from wherever he was going to go. What she doesn't know is that he would always make time for a small kid, no matter what is on his schedule next. He loves kids, and when he sees them being so into Formula One, he somehow sees himself in them. And knowing how much it meant to little Pierre, he can never deny them this pleasure of having a word or two with him.

"Can you sign this for me, please?" the little boy asks, holding out the sharpie and his baseball cap, high up in the air.

Pierre squats down, already smiling wide and nodding. "Of course!"

(y/n) feels warmth in her chest just watching the two interact, thinking of how grateful she is for the driver to be so nice and lovely with her son, knowing that it will mean the world to him for probably all his life. Pierre scribbles on the material and hands the items back to the boy, who squeals loudly, turning to his mom to show off his new possession. "Look!"

She giggles, lightly shaking her head at her son's antics. He definitely got this from her, getting so enthusiastic about little things as a fan. When she looks back up again, she finds Pierre already staring at her. When caught, he swiftly clears his throat, that soft smile again adorning his face.

"Nephew? Or just babysitting?" he asks the first thing that comes to mind as he tries to spark some small talk, not yet wanting to say goodbye to her. Seeing the surprise that comes to her face he's quick to backtrack. "Sorry. I don't know why I asked that, you don't have to answer, it's not my place at all to ask this–"

She lets out a small laugh watching him chatter away. "It's okay," she stops him mid-sentence with a hand gently and momentarily laid on his arm. "He's my son, actually."

His eyes widen and she chuckles again, seeing his reaction. She will never get tired of seeing the absolute shock on people's faces. Pierre shakes his head to get out of the trance he's got in. "I'm sorry. I just figured you're too young to have a kid his age," he explains, though mentally he could slap himself, because why the hell did he say that out of all the possible things he could say?

"It's okay, honestly," she repeats. "People often think that. Or that he's my brother, that's very common too. I guess I just look a lot younger than I actually am," her shoulders move in a shrugging motion. "And it probably doesn't help a lot that it's just us two together people see all the time, not a complete family."

Before he could respond to that, his phone starts ringing, and with an apologetic smile flashed her way, he answers the call. (y/n) softly grabs her kid's arm to tug him away from the driver, trying to give him the privacy he deserves. When Pierre glances back at them, she waves with her free hand, mouthing a quick thank you to him before lacing her fingers with the little boy's and walking away.

They've taken enough time from the driver already.

- - - three days later - - -

On Sunday, she, her son and her brother are at the race taking place near their town, waiting close to the gates to catch at least a few drivers for Austin to be able to add more signatures to his treasured collection.

Pierre has been thinking about her almost non-stop, even though he knows there's a big chance that he'll never see her again in his life. And it's just so stupid. It's not like she's definitely single anyway – the two probably have someone waiting at home for them. The boy's father. But then why did she say it's always just 'them two' and not a 'complete family'? The driver can't help but get his hopes up high.

Walking towards the gates his eyes move along the crowd that has gathered there, no matter how hard his inner voice tries to tell him to stop and focus on the race ahead of him. Because of his phone call the other day that interrupted his conversation with her, he didn't have a chance to ask them where they will be at the race, or if he'll see them again. But then his glance lands on the familiar sight of the young boy jumping up and down, having just gotten a photo taken with Charles.

Pierre's heartbeat quickens, looking up behind the boy to see the young woman standing there, an Alpha Tauri cap on top of her head – oh, lord. He just makes his mind up to go there and just talk to her again, his feet already taking him closer when her son turns and after proudly thrusting the just signed piece of paper in the air, showing it off to someone standing next to his mom, he's lifted in the air by a pair of strong arms – arms not belonging to her.

The driver lets his gaze follow the movement and all of a sudden he feels a lump in his throat as he's staring at the man next to her, grinning wide at the young boy in his arms, high in the air. They say hope dies last, and for Pierre the saying worked perfectly. He's been hopeful until this very moment that she is indeed single, but right now it definitely seems that she's not, he concludes sourly as she shares a laugh with the man.

He ponders not even going up to them anymore, not wanting to disturb the family's joy, but then it's already too late as her eyes suddenly connect with his. She probably felt his eyes on her. The smile that's just gotten somewhat smaller on her lips as her previous laughter faded widens again and she waves at him, her motion somewhat shy as if she's not sure he remembered them. He can't fight the smile that curls on his lips just at the simple sight of her smile being directed his way. There's no going back now, he thinks and continues his way.

"Hi!" she greets him, patting her son's back in the meantime to get his attention. "Austin, look who's here!"

The little boy turns in the other man's arm, twisting his body to have a better look and then squeals with delight.

"How are you?" she asks casually, grabbing his attention back easily as the kid holds out the paper in his direction, saying something about wanting to have two signatures from him because he's his favourite.

"Fine, thanks. Bit nervous," Pierre glances up for a moment to smile at her whilst he's signing his name next to his friend, Charles' autograph.

"Well, good luck for today, I hope you'll have a great race. We'll be rooting for you!"

Her words make him happy – impossibly happy considering that he doesn't even know her. Trying to control himself he mumbles a soft thank you before offering to get a picture with the little boy, remembering how the other day they didn't have the chance to do so because of that damned phone call.

Austin shakes his head, but before the surprise can show itself on Pierre's face, he gives an explanation to his decision. "I want to have a picture after the race, when you won."

The driver's heart gets warmer at the little boy's enthusiasm and trust in him, and he agrees happily, even though he's well aware that it most likely won't happen. He makes the boy promise that he'll be here in the same place they are now after the race and he himself promises in return that he'll look for the boy to have that photo taken no matter what.

At least he'll have something to look forward to even if the race doesn't go his way.

- - - a couple hours later - - -

After the race he's glowing. Maybe it was the knowledge of the kid's belief in him, the knowledge of being his favourite driver and that he – along with his mom – was cheering Pierre on, but he arrived at the finish line in P5, a way better position than he or his team expected.

As soon as he can get away, having finished all his duties the fastest he possibly could, he excuses himself and goes back to the arranged meeting place to look for the kid and his family – though that still hurt to think about, them being a complete family, no matter how wrong it might be to think this way.

It's somewhat easier to find them this time, most people having left already after the race was over. Pierre immediately notices the absence of the other man, looking around questioningly as he's approaching the boy and his mom, and she can probably tell from his eyes what he's wondering because as soon as he gets in speaking distance to them, she speaks up.

"My brother had to leave earlier, something came up, but there's no way I could make this one here leave," she gestures towards her son, her face beaming.

Brother?! He couldn't fully comprehend the word brother when she continues.

"And anyway I didn't want to leave either," she adds after a momentary pause, a light pink colouring her cheeks.

Stop acting like a fool, Pierre scolds his heart for skipping a beat at her words. She probably didn't mean it like that at all.

He's still fighting the feeling of surprise and somewhat relief, hearing the word brother from her lips. So it wasn't the boy's father in the end. It doesn't mean that there isn't a father in the picture, though, he tries to stop himself before he could build his hopes high once more.

"So, shall we have that picture taken? I know I didn't win, so feel free to say no," Pierre chuckles, looking down at the boy who nods back eagerly – clearly the win didn't matter that much in the end –, eyes shining bright from the excitement buzzing in his small body.

Purely by instinct he leans down and grabs him, lifting the kid until he's sitting on the driver's arm, delicately pressing onto the side of his body. In the meantime (y/n) has unlocked her phone and she's now holding it in front of her face, waiting for the two to stop moving around so she could take the photo.

Austin is grinning so wide it splits his face in two, and to be fair, it matches the one sitting on Pierre's face. They are truly a sight for sore eyes. She feels the immense happiness seeing the two like that, and the way her heartbeat accelerates.

When the picture is done, she steps closer to the two to show it to them, waiting for their approval, knowing full well that her son is quite picky when it comes to photos – that he got from his father for sure.

"Nice!" Austin nods in a clearly serious way, the motion itself being enough to show just how important this is for him.

(y/n) bites back a giggle, knowing that this is the best verdict she can get from her son. "I agree, this is a really great photo," Pierre smiles at the screen, still holding onto the kid like it's no big deal, like it's not someone else's son, like it's absolutely natural. Neither of the two boys seem to notice it as they examine all the details of the picture – and it's such a heartwarming sight to her that there's no way she would be the one to stop them.

"Actually, can you send this to me?" the driver speaks up again, after a couple seconds of silent photo-examining. "I want to remember this forever."

His eyes move up to her face just as she can feel her heart skip a beat. A smile so honest and bright lights up his face that she has to fight the urge to raise her phone once more just to immortalize it. He wants to remember.

"When I grow up, I wanna be like you!" Austin announces as his mom holds the device out towards the driver, indicating for him to type in his number so she could send the photo.

"Really?" Pierre puts the youngling down, chuckling away at his words, but at the same time feeling bright happiness burn in his chest from his words. Who would've thought that the day would come when he is the one little boys look up to and aspire to be?

Hearing the kid's words is one of the greatest feelings in the world for him. Sure, he's had fans come up to him, talking with him for a little while, but no one said it straight on yet that he's their favourite and that they want to be like him. He's almost rendered speechless by this moment.

"No, Aust. Don't even start thinking about it!" (y/n) shakes her head, eyes widening at the thought but a loving smile still playing on her lips, fingers gently brushing against Pierre's palm as she lays her phone down on it.

"Why?" her son looks up from his much shorter height, genuine curiosity painting his face.

"You can't expect me to nearly die from worrying every weekend," she explains as if it's obvious – to her, it is, and Pierre can clearly understand why.

"You won't have to, I'll be as good as him!" Austin points at the driver who's watching the conversation unfold with genuine interest in his eyes, having already added his contact to her phone.

"Yeah, alright," the young mom sighs. "I guess now I don't have to worry."

As she glances back up at Pierre, she still tries to bite back the small laugh, and she can see that he's been somewhat struggling too. Their eyes connect and that's all it takes for the laughter to burst, and luckily her son is too immersed in examining his newly acquired treasures to notice.

When their laughter dies down, she focuses on forwarding the picture to his number – trying very hard not to read anything into the way he added a red heart emoji after his first name in his contact ID –, nodding her head once in accomplishment when it sends, putting her phone away into her bag.

"Okay, we should go now," (y/n) speaks the words Pierre hasn't realised he dreaded to hear all this time. "Thank you. For everything."

She looks deep in his eyes, and for a moment the outside world ceases to exist. Her meaningful tone lets him know just how seriously she means those words, just how grateful she really is to him – even though what he did for her and her son was close to nothing.

"I can walk you to your car," he's swift to offer, grabbing onto the first thought that would prolong the time he can spend with them – with her.

"Oh, you really don't have to!" (y/n) shakes her head, but even through her quick movements he can see the bright pink of her cheeks.

"But I'd love to," he smiles and motions with his hand as a sign for her to show the way.

They step into a comfortable pace towards the parking lot, both Pierre and (y/n)'s eyes trained on the small figure of her son as he's running ahead of them, as fast as he can manage, all the while trying to imitate a race car's sounds with his mouth.

"Since we met you the other day, he wouldn't shut up about it, about you for a single second," she speaks up after a couple seconds of cozy silence. "And after today, I don't think he will ever stop, to be honest."

Pierre tears his eyes away from the boy to be able to look at her instead, his gaze first noting the way her shoulders gently shake in her soft and quiet laughter before slowly moving up her neck and then her face.

"I'm glad I could contribute to a few happy minutes in his life," he grins, waiting. He doesn't have to wait long, because the next moment her eyes move too, glancing up at him, following the same route his eyes did but on his body, and then finally, their gazes meet.

"Oh, it definitely wasn't just a few happy minutes. He basically looks up to you as if you're his father at this point," she admits with a slight roll of her eyes.

He's left almost stunned by her words. What does this mean? "I hope his real dad doesn't mind," he laughs, but he can tell that it comes out somewhat forced, his voice tense. He can only hope it's not obvious to her.

"I don't think so, since he didn't even care enough to be there when his son was born," comes her swift reply. Pierre stops in his steps, surprised by the harshness of her answer and the sudden change of tone in her voice. Her by far always cheery way of speaking suddenly turned bitter, so bitter that it hurt his heart just to hear it.

Two emotions cloud his brain, anger towards whoever this guy is for behaving as shitty as he did and doing something so bad to her, and happiness because it means that this particular guy isn't in the picture.

"I'm sorry," (y/n) stops walking too, noticing the driver's sudden absence from by her side. Her eyes are wide as she's looking into his crystal clear, piercing blue orbs. "I don't know why I said that out loud. Didn't want to dump all this on you. It's not your problem. I– it's just been a little hard these past few weeks managing work and raising a kid alone, and it just spilled out. Sorry."

Pierre can see how truly remorseful she feels, but what almost breaks him is the absolute sadness in her eyes. It's nothing but instinct and the want to comfort her somehow that drives him as he gently wraps his arms around her, holding her close to his body. He doesn't even think beforehand, and when he finally does, it's already too late and she's standing in his embrace.

What are you doing? You might just make her very uncomfortable right now. But the next moment relief floods through him as he feels her much smaller hands landing on the material of his clothes, right above the small of his back.

A sigh leaves her lungs, and he can feel it more than hear it, in the way her chest rises and presses more into his for a long moment.

"It's okay," he mumbles, his thumb caressing the skin of her upper arm. "Everyone needs to rant a little sometimes."

"But not to a stranger. A Formula One driver stranger," she chuckles into his chest, sound muffled but still obviously sorrowful.

"I don't mind."

Pierre's eyes move above the top of her head, looking for a familiar (y/h/c)-haired boy. In a matter of seconds he finds him, just arriving to a car, halting at the side of the vehicle. "Mom, I'm at the car!" he calls out, his voice floating in the air towards the two adults left behind.

(y/n) moves her hands away from Pierre quickly, as if she's just been brought back to real life by her son's voice, as if she's been somewhere else in her mind. "Thanks," she mumbles under her breath as she leans back, breaking the contact of their bodies – much to Pierre's sadness.

They set off again, neither really knowing what to say. His heart is pumping in his throat, thoughts spinning in his mind. "Is it okay if I text you sometimes?" he asks eventually.

"You want to?" comes her reply in the form of a question. Pierre simply hums back, head moving in a nodding motion. "It'd be nice."

He watches as a smile forms on her face, that bright, lively pink colour returning to her cheeks and the previous sadness slowly disappearing from her (y/e/c) eyes. "I agree," he softly says, light joy vibrating in his body as he sees the proof that he managed to bring her back from feeling so down.

The two of them arrive to the car a few seconds later, and after unlocking it, (y/n) opens the car door, helping the small boy climb into his seat. She fastens the seatbelt with careful and precise movements, Pierre watching from the side.

"Say goodbye to Pierre, baby," she says, leaning back and moving to the other seat to place her bag down in its place – the driver's cheeks lightly blushing by hearing her say his name.

"Bye, Pierre!" the boy exclaims, waving rapidly from his seat at the man standing in the open door.

"See you soon, Austin," he smiles at the kid, waving back himself.

"We will meet again?" his small, (y/e/c) eyes that look so similar to hers widen in shock, a happy, surprised tone in his voice.

"I hope so," Pierre glances to the side, at her, just as she abruptly leans back to look at him, her eyes exactly as wide as her son's. They look so much alike.

She beams and he can see how she's biting the inside of her cheeks to prevent herself from smiling even wider at his words than she eventually displays. He smiles back just the same, one hundred percent genuine and so, so happy.

.::the end::.

here's pt.2 to this fic!

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

[ do you wanna be added to my f1 taglist? ]

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rmd-writes · 18 days

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5, 14, and 17, please, Rae!

Thanks Courtney!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

There’s silence while she waits for her dad to speak and it feels heavy, like the air is pushing on her.

14. where do you get your inspiration?

Anywhere really, sometimes it's something I've seen on social media, other times someone has mentioned a prompt that I couldn't stop thinking about, or seen fan art that's inspired me. Often I'll be mid-conversation with fandom friends and something they've said makes me start thinking about a potential fic. Sometimes it's spite 😉

17. talk about your writing and editing process

tbh they're kind of the same thing! I edit as I write which is sometimes an issue because I get stuck editing instead of writing. To force myself out of doing this, sometimes I use the gdocs headings so that I don't scroll through the entire doc and can just click on the outline instead to get to where I was up to.

The process itself is something like:

1. come up with idea 2. flesh it out in someone's DMs (usually @welcometololaland) which may or may not involve messages or voice notes that say things like "ignore this I just had to get it out of my head" 3. copy notes from DMs to my private writing discord and/or google doc 4. outline (may have already occured at step 3 if I'm not doing a detailed outline) 5. write (almost always chronologically unless a scene or dialogue comes to mind fully formed) 6. edit 7. complain about writing/having no time to write/words not working etc etc 8. edit 9. write more 10. edit 11. send snippets to friends and/or add them to gdoc for validation (this one is ESSENTIAL. I am not a writer who can write on their own without constant feedback) 12. repeat steps 5-11 until fic is done. 13. full edit as if I'm beta reading someone else's fic + coding if necessary (there's a whole separate process for that, it involves threatening to throw whatever device I'm working on out of a window) 14. send to beta (sometimes I do this before 13 if I need to stop looking at the doc) 15. final edit 16. post to ao3 and inevitably find typos that I somehow missed 17. edit 18. go to sleep and hopefully wake up to nice comments

[more fic writer asks]

#more fic writer asks #rmd answers

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frownyalfred · 7 months

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Apologies for the extremely long ask.

Omegaverse as a concept is so complicated and interesting as to me as a trans person.

On the one hand, the writer in me is intrigued by the world building implications and the opportunity to explore gender roles/dynamics. The concept of having a secondary dynamic alongside your actual gender is also fascinating to me and it's something I typically would have expected to be in something like sci-fi before I actually got into fanfiction.

I especially love deep diving into pack dynamics. Admittedly, that's where most of my interest and attention is focused on when reading and writing Omegaverse. I just find the concept so fascinating and any opportunity to write characters with heightened instincts, alien or otherwise, is just so much fun.

But on the other hand, I'm also very aware of how Omegaverse came about because some Supernatural fans wanted to play around with the idea of pack roles/relationships based on a messy study of wolf hierarchies. I'm also aware that intentional or not, a lot of early Omegaverse fics and tropes leaned really heavy into more homophobic and transphobic stereotypes, especially between M/M pairings.

I do feel like this has changed a bit over the years, though. From what I recall, a lot of early Omegaverse fics just really over relied on the stereotypical "which guy is really the girl?" trope that you saw a lot in the early to mid 2000s when discussions of queer (but mostly gay) relationships were brought up. I feel like the discussion has become a lot more nuanced since then and I know there are other trans fic writers like me who enjoy writing Omegaverse simply because it provides an opportunity to explore concepts of gender, sexuality and identity in a relatively fun way.

Not all Omegaverse fics/tropes are created equal, though. And every trans person has a different reaction/feeling towards this AU. I definitely feel like the odd one out, though, sometimes since I mostly come to Omegaverse for pack dynamics, less so for the smut (although I have written some in the past for fun or for friends). But I also believe there's validity in writing smut just for the purpose of enjoying smut.

Overall, I think this AU has a lot of potential, but I also see why it could make people very comfortable. I do wanna say that your fics haven't made uncomfortable and I do enjoy your takes on this trope. And I especially appreciate your willingness to listen to other trans people and their thoughts on Omegaverse. It goes a long way.

Side tangent: I will always be amused by how this whole trope came about btw, but also because the original author of that study followed it up by saying his first paper was absolute bullshit actually and shouldn't be viewed as a factual study of wolf pack hierarchy. Man messed up his original study, but he's a dedicated scientist and I love him for debunking his own work. But also the fact that he had an unintended impact on fandom is such fucking gold to me. I love this man so much.

Thank you for putting my thoughts to words, anon! There's definitely a long history there, and I agree with you that the genre itself has changed a lot in recent years, I think for the better.

I don't begrudge anyone for not liking or wanting to read a/b/o fics at all. I think it's intriguing but has the potential to be deeply uncomfortable or even like you said, transphobic for some people. I try to tag everything very well here that mentions it, etc.

I think what I like most about recent changes is that the genre has shifted to be less about "how can we get these two characters to breed?" and more to discussing pack dynamics, the implications of designations and gender roles, and building interesting biological rules and intricacies in an author-unique universe.

#asks #anon #thank you for sharing anon!#a/b/o mention #a/b/o tw #myfic #theresurrectionist #a sky of honey

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kristylime · 1 year

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WWDITS FanFic Rec- This Is Hardcore

Continuing my series to plug some other cool What We Do In the Shadows Fics that I have read and really enjoyed.

Spotlight on:

This is Hardcore by BuffyJayne, Flashbcaks (BuffyJayne) (@flashbcaks)

This story was a delightful smutty gift to consume. Personally, I think this is some of the hottest smut I have ever read, but I realize smut can be a pretty subjective thing.

In a nutshell, still smarting over his latest slight from Gail, Nandor has an idea of what will cheer him up. And it turns out that thing is to be dominated in the bedroom by his familiar/bodyguard. Guillermo is willing to do his level best to try to make Nandor feel better… and the result is smut so good that I was thinking about it days later. And then circled back to the author to let them know I was still thinking about a specific detail that I couldn’t get out of my mind…

It’s still haunting me to this day, in fact.

Also, this fic is only 2219 words. Frankly, I wish it was longer.

Summary:

Nandor wants to feel the thrill of uncertainty, and is curious about the newfound strength of his bodyguard. Because they don't have any comfortably big enough beds in the house, they go back to the hotel where Nandor had met with Gail. This will have no repercussions whatsoever. 🙃

Takes place mid-season 3, before the Wellness Center.

Title comes from the song of the same name by Pulp.

youtube

This song fits the vibe of this fic super well. The song sounds erotic. Not just the lyrics, but the music itself. Even if this were an instrumental, I would still argue that this would be a fitting song. It sounds sexy AF. But the lyrics enhance it. And speaks well to the longstanding lust between Nandor and Guillermo. And the anticipation of their first time. As well as the decidedly more hardcore than vanilla nature of what they undertake together.

As the song questions in its final lines: “What exactly do you do for an encore? ‘Cause this is hardcore.” Frankly, I would like to know the answer to this as far as Nandor and Guillermo are concerned here… you know. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, @flashbcaks! 😉

And as a side note, the video for this song was really cool. Especially if you are a classic movie fan. It employed the premise of shooting a film and dipped into several different genres/styles that will be instantly recognizable to classic film buffs.

It should be noted that this work is part of a series Sometimes I'm thinking that I love you... But I know it's only Lust. It is technically a prequel to a different work, but is Part 1 of the series… that is part of the reason that I chose to present this one first. I have already covered the other reasons... 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Please stop by and take a look! If you enjoy, please show some love with Kudos and comments!

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits guillermo #nandor #wwdits nandor #wwdits nandermo #guillermo de la cruz #my friend made this #ao3 link #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #hot stuff #Youtube

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fishnamedsushi · 5 months

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(Laughs/cries at how late I am)

Work has been so busy recently and I've been heads down working on my latest fic, but the amazing @lilredghost and @dark--whisperings both tagged me in this game!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

Seventeen!

(Me: Wait, really??? That's awesome!)

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

188,000 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My jam these days is Star Wars (Obikin) but previously I was involved in MCU verse (Stony, TaserTricks). I am also eyeing some potential fics in OFMD and Lokius...if I ever get the time lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

FML, Darcy Lewis Style (627 kudos) Loki/Darcy Lewis, AU

Forget Me Not (426 kudos) Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Tatooine AU amnesia fic

If You'll Let Me (376 kudos) Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, A/B/O AU

A Different Sort of Knife (303 kudos) Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sith Obi/Padawan Ani AU

A Perfect Distraction (243 kudos) Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, the lip gloss fic

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Comments are my favorite thing and I love reading and responding to them! They're honestly one of the best motivations to keep me writing...I've changed fics mid-plot just because of comments lol.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm...probably Lie To Me or While You Were Gone, both Sherlock (Johnlock) fics. Both stories are very dark and gritty, especially WYWG, and I think I might have been going through *some stuff* when I wrote them that influenced how they turned out lol. I absolutely adore WYWG - it's one of my favorite fics that I've written.

For Obikin, the angstiest fic is probably Away From Me (Don't Fall) which is a post-Order 66 fic where Anakin's fall to the Dark Side caused Obi-Wan to fall as well. It's a recent fic and I've got a sequel half-drafted just waiting to be finished. There's a twist at the end that I won't spoil...you'll have to go read it if you want to know what happens 👀

7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?

Ohh..that's a tough one! I always strive for happy endings (no pun intended) even in fics that are literally just porn (in which case, pun definitely intended).

I think To Tell The Moon has a very sweet happy ending. It's a same-age AU where Anakin and Obi-Wan are both padawans and end up taking part in winter festivities on a planet during a mission. It's a very wholesome fic all around (though since it's me, there is some angst haha).

The next one would probably be Forget Me Not and A Perfect Distraction, which I linked above, if only because both of them feature Obi-Wan getting what he wants and deserves, which he never does in canon, and I want him to be happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in a long time, thankfully. When I first started writing fanfic I did get some hate which was very demoralizing but eventually I just decided to tell those people to fuck off very kindly. I've been so lucky to be in fandoms where everyone is pretty accepting and supportive 💕

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

👀😉😎 Check my AO3. There's smut. I'm a big fan of dirty talk and D/s undertones. Obikin delivers plenty of opportunity !

10. Do you write cross-overs?

Not yet! I would love to try one day if the opportunity presented itself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but I would love that if anyone every felt so inclined! Same with podfics.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not but that would be an interesting experience!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

That's such a tough question haha. If I had to choose, I'd pick, in no particular order:

Obikin

Hannigram

Kylux

Dinluke

Spideypool

Geraskier

15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I want to go back and finish A Different Sort of Knife one day. I had such a fantastic time writing Sith Obi-Wan and his catnip Padawan Anakin. I hope that I get the motivation to go back to it.

I just finished a WIP that I had started last year and ended up coming back to it after a hiatus (Forget Me Not), so there is hope!

16. What are your writing strength?

I like to think that I'm good at characterization. It's something I obsess over when I'm writing, to the point that I end up throwing out whole passages if I don't feel like I'm conveying the character correctly. I've been told that my descriptions and metaphors are good, which is lovely to hear ❤

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably that it takes me too long to write something haha.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I love reading fics with dialogue in other languages! It adds so much depth to the story and is very immersive.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCU (Loki/Darcy Lewis). Back when I thought I was straight, but Tom Hiddleston and Kat Dennings are both babes so I stand by it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably To Tell The Moon or Forget Me Not.

***

Phew, that was fun! Thanks so much for the tags!

To keep this rolling, I'll tag in @demon----dean, @nixie-deangel, @renlyslittlerose, @dreaminghour in case you haven't already been tagged!

#fic tag game #tag game #obikin #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #darth vader #star wars #my fic writing #my fics #johnlock #tasertricks #stony

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advestager · 5 months

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I feel like saying Josuke doesn't have any daddy issues whatsoever isn't entirely fair (I've seen some fic and comics go further into how he and his mom might have been treated due to the circumstances of his birth that were pretty compelling) but people who act like he grew up without any father figure are definitely off base imo. Every single adaptation and extra material have always had a focus on his close relationship with his grandpa for a reason!

see, that's precisely the thing. it is literally impossible to be a grown up human without having internalised some sort of illogical Feeling about oneself or the world – but fandom as a whole tends to just assign arbitrary ones to characters based on stereotypes rather than what they actually are like.

i do think josuke feels some sort of way about his lack of a father growing up, but that's as inevitable as joseph himself (or giorno, or jolyne, or even jonathan) having feelings about his own dad, and yet somehow jorge's absence does not get brought up despite joseph and josuke's fairly similar upbringings. the fact is that most of western fandom tends to view the JJBA characters through a (white, usa-centric) lens that simply does not lend itself to a fair or accurate reading when most of the cast is either POC or from an entirely different cultural background. that's why i'm so resistant to label josuke as having 'daddy issues'; the term means something entirely different to me than it seems to do to most of the fandom, based on all the fic, comics, and discussions i've seen (and had) about the topic. it's not exactly like the organised crime aspect of VA, but it fills me with a similar kind of frustration. i don't think one needs a degree in cultural studies or history or whatnot to enjoy a silly series about people punching each other with slutty soul-ghosts, but it's exhausting to see the same thoughtless, very specifically westernised takes being regurgitated over and over as Absolute Truth until the characters are so flanderised they seem nothing as much as a caricature of their original versions. i love transformative works as much as any other fan creator, but i also happen to like the source material. it is infinitely more interesting to me to think about what kind of relationship josuke might have to his heritage as a mixed-race person, or his identity as the son of a single mother or the obviously cherished and spoilt child of a family such as his own (especially in a place and period like canon's late-90s/early 00's japan), than to hear yet another iteration of 'haha, josuke has daddy issues' where the person saying it has no intention of analysing that premise beyond the puddle-depth obvious.

at barely sixteen years old, even as interested in high-end fashion (and as very much part of a working class family who could definitely use the nest egg) as he is, josuke's immediate reaction to being told his missing father is incredibly rich and wants to take care of him is to say that it's not necessary, and he's fine as he is. sixteen. i worked as a teacher with kids as young as a year old and people as old as mid-seventies; that kind of ease of mind is one-in-a-million and not something you'll find on someone who fits fandom's definition of 'daddy issues'. he's not angry at joseph, he's not grasping for money, he hardly even wants to find out more about the missing part of his origins. his only thought is to wish he wouldn't be the reason other people were hurt, and to protect his mother once there is a risk she might find out and be distressed about it. his entire morality system is (from what i remember of canon) mostly based around the question What Would Grandpa Do?, with some leeway allowed for the temper he clearly got from tomoko and for the fact that he is, again, a big and slightly spoilt sixteen year old.

so yeah. it might not sound fair to say he doesn't have daddy issues, but i don't think the terms fandom's operating under are fair to start with, so i'd rather recuse myself (and my interpretation of the character) from it all til we're playing the same game. the sandbox's wide and wild, and the block and mute buttons are there for a reason, so i'll just stay in my corner writing about higashikatas wielding their feelings like sledgehammers til my mum says it's time to go home.

#tl;dr: everyone's absolutely entitled to their opinion! i just happen to find the most common one the equivalent of soap-flavoured cilantro #i definitely agree with the part about his rship with his grandfather! it's a whole thing in my own writing for them #it's just 'daddy issues' has become shorthand for a combination of takes i quite dislike the past few years #so yeah. i'll just... Not. if y'all don't mind #(i do think Other characters have daddy issues in the traditional sense. and even in the popular modern sense. but not josuke particularly)#anyway i hope this doesn't read as confrontational as i fear it sounds bc that was. so not my intention orz #ty for the ask!!!! i really love discussing character analysis i'm just rly tired rn so i probably sound super Debate Team Mode haha #ps ryohei was 100000% josuke's favourite person in the world growing up and he's still tomoko's special baby gremlin at age 50 pass it on #josuke higashikata #jojo #the funny thing abt my fic is i'm really at ease abt posting my shippy stuff bc it's just like. treating myself to sth nice #and then sharing with everyone as a bonus #but the stuff where i actually talk abt familial and platonic rships for my faves lives in eternal development hell bc i just LOVE it #and never feel like it's perfect enough to share. it's never complete because it's always evolving #which is why i once wrote a novel allegedly about detectives in love but in reality about 100kish of family/friendship character analysis #meaning there was no way this ask could've ever been answered succinctly lol #ask tag #joji.txt #joosk #anonymous

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imminentinertia · 10 months

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Hi, darling, numbers 8 & 19 for the choose violence ask game please, if you’re still in the mood to rant <3

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I come out swinging on this: "Pete is a virgin"

Pete is in his mid/late twenties, I'd say, and most men that age aren't virgins. Simple as that. Don't assume it's a zebra when you hear a hoof beat, don't assume it's a virgin when a grown man buys Porsche's excuses about punishment. What's more, he may seem oblivious around Porsche and Kinn's blatant shagging (perhaps because he'd rather not know, he seems good at ignoring), and that hungover sleepy kissy mouths scene speaks volumes of how much Pete hasn't kissed, but he knows not to kiss someone he doesn't like when having sex with them. Yeah, he goes pillow prince in Vegas' bed but he knows that he wants the rope. I bet he knows very well how he wants the dick, too.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Um. Well. Okay. So I'm sorta kinda turning into an omegaverse fan as of KinnPorsche. But the universe lends itself so well to it, and especially when Vegas and/or Kim are omegas, and I'll go hide now.

Seriously, I've always detested omegaverse and I still have rather a lot of not so positive opinions on what it springs from and where it goes (although one of the best fics I've ever read is omegaverse: saccharine (SKAM, Noora is the main character and she's an alpha)). It's very grudgingly I admit that I'm enjoying it. Especially the Viva Omegas series by littlelamblittlelamb.

Thank you for playing, darling!

Choose Violence Ask Game

#choose violence ask game #ask game

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hurryupharry · 2 years

Text

first meetings

hi... i'm back after 6 years.... yeah read that again - 6 YEARS. i've honestly no clue what tumblr is like anymore, but i've felt a sudden urge to write again, so here it is. a little fic on meeting H, heavily inspired by a tiktok (no shame) i saw on a girl who met H while on her scooter. also if the paragraphs are weird i'm SORRY i don't know what's wrong with the editor. ok let me know what you think x pairing: harry x reader word count: 1.5k+ warnings: just a casual meet cute fic.. nothin much

You'd known each other for a little while, often brushing shoulders at parties or running into each other at the hole-in-the-wall coffee shops around town. Though it was rather strange to see him doing 'normal people' things around town, you were always glad that these run-ins gave you a peek into his mysterious life - how he liked his coffee, the pastries he favoured on slow Saturday mornings... It was nice to know. Not in a creepy way, of course - it simply intrigued you.

The first time you met was at a party. You couldn't remember whose it was, only that it was shortly after his most recent tour wrapped up. The party wasn't for him, but it sure seemed that way - every person in the room was awaiting an opportunity to congratulate and welcome him home. You were a plus-one to this party and lingered at the bar almost the entire night. You wouldn't mention it, but it was a strategic spot. You could engage in light conversation with the bartender whenever you felt out of place. It was sometime mid-way through the night when you finally had someone join you in your newly-claimed spot in the room. "Mr. Superstar! You've been busy the entire night, eh? Could finally spare some time to say hi to your old pal?" The bartender, who'd introduced himself to you as Nick, gleefully greeted the star of the night, who'd decided to take a seat right next to you. "Nick.. don't say that," Harry was quick to wave him off with a shy smile. "How're the missus and the little ones?" You sat quietly with your drink - a diluted long island iced tea - observing the interaction between the two with short glances, not wanting to intrude on a seemingly overdue reunion. Eavesdropping on their conversation on kids, tour life and future plans like you were listening to a podcast, you were surprised to hear your name. “This is Y/N, by the way - been sitting here all night with me. Rachel brought her here,” Nick said, making Harry turn towards you. In that moment, you felt like kneeing Nick where it’d hurt - you were set on going unnoticed this entire time. “Sorry love, s’ rude of me not to say hello earlier,” Harry quickly gets up from his seat, extending a hand out to you. “Harry, but H works perfect. Lovely t’ meet you, Y/N.” “Bit formal, isn’t it,” You quipped, shaking his hand anyway. Of course you knew who he was. The steely rings that adorned most, if not all, of his fingers feeling cool against your skin, flushed from the alcohol you’d had. “Wonderful to meet you too. Taking a break from meeting the fans?” You had to admit that you wouldn’t have said any of this to someone you were meeting for the first time without some liquid courage in you. You were a fan too, even if you wouldn’t tell him that. You found yourself dancing and singing along to his songs alone in your apartment on multiple occasions. He chuckles at your light-hearted jab, his dimple revealing itself a little more than before. “Wanted t’ make sure I covered them all, s’all. Especially this guy here, could tell he’s been practically begging me to come over,” He gestures to Nick, who’d already started making a drink for the golden boy. “I didn’t know you two were friends, you and Rachel. I’m surprised we haven’t met.” Rachel and Harry went pretty far back. She was one of his long-time sound techs, working on tours with him since his solo career launched. You learned that they became friends quickly after she challenged him to a round of shots, herself fully inebriated at that point, and won without question. She seemed to make every party rowdier and he loved that. “Well, you’ve been touring for a long time and I’m not so much a party animal myself, as you can tell,” you waved your half-empty glass, the condensation leaving small wet dots on your pants. He only nods in response, thanking Nick quietly for his freshly-concocted drink as he leaned over the bar counter, glass in hand.

You revelled in the quiet, fleeting moment you shared - neither of you saying anything, taking the time to notice the ink on his skin, the soft glow of the purple lights highlighting the contours of his arms, before he was quickly called over from somewhere else in the room. “S’me, I’m guessing - hope it isn’t another H here, would be a little awkward,” He pushes himself off the counter by his forearms, raising his drink to you. “Cheers Y/N. I’ll see you around, yeah?” You did the same, bidding him a silent goodbye as he went on his way. His smooth, low voice rang through your head the rest of the night. You really did hope to see him around. It was a couple weeks later at the local coffee-shop in the neighbourhood you’d just discovered that you recognised his figure, donned in a thin white t-shirt and sweat shorts. Sunglasses perched atop his head, bill between his fingers as he stood before the cashier, who looked extra chirpy at 9 on a Tuesday morning.

The place was almost empty, and you cursed quietly as the sound of bells broke the quiet buzz in the shop once you opened the door. Harry quickly glanced at the door, before doing a second take. With the throngs of people he met daily, he could’ve sworn he knew you from somewhere before it clicked. He would never have forgotten you - the girl sitting alone at the bar who’d brought him away from reality during that party for a few seconds, and honestly made his night. He recalled thinking you were beautiful under the dim lighting of the party and he wasn’t mistaken. Even on a god forsaken Tuesday morning, you were radiant, face still slightly puffy from sleep with a bundle of pink tulips tucked in your arm. “Y/N, fancy bumping into you here, ‘f all places,” He smiled, handing the bill over to the girl at the till and gesturing for her to keep the change. Your heart beat a little faster when you heard him say your name. He remembered you. “Just here for a coffee and my breakfast,” You gave him a friendly smile, mentally kicking yourself for choosing not to put in any effort before you left home this morning. “What’s Mr. Superstar doing here? Y’know, I just discovered this place and I’m not that keen on having to find another place with better danish pastries when this one blows up.” “S’ too bad then, these are my favourites too,” He shrugs, pointing towards the crisp paper bag on the counter. “Just have to share, it seems.” You’re not sure what happened - it all seems like a blur now - but somehow, you’re walking out of the coffee shop next to him, with a bag of pastries and coffee in hand, enjoying some friendly banter about the weather and your favourite cafes in the area. Placing your items in the basket of your scooter, you find him analysing the device with some interest. “Jealous of my ride?” You asked, picking a few tulips out of the bunch. They were your favourite flowers, and having a fresh vase full of them at the start of your week often gave you a much-needed serotonin boost. “Honestly, yeah - seems pretty cool to be whizzing ‘round on one of these things.”

You raised an eyebrow at him and gave a questioning nod, conjuring up an image of Harry Styles scooting around town. Didn’t seem too likely. “I should get going, got work to do,” You tapped on the handlebar of your scooter, turning towards him. In the gentle morning light, hair fluffy and a little more unkempt than usual, he looked almost angelic. It was disgusting how good he looked. “I shouldn’t keep you waiting then, Y/N. It was lovely bumping into you here.. I might have to take you up on the cafe crawl offer sometime soon though,” Harry piped, taking a sip of his flat white - apparently an experimental order for him. In your short conversation, you also learned that he recently moved into the area, hence why he’d been out exploring that early morning. You nodded, trying your hardest to push down the biggest grin threatening to show itself on your face. You taking Harry out on a date? Honestly, the entire morning felt like a fever dream. As he was about to turn and leave, you presented (more like shoved) the pink tulips to him - five of them, to be exact. “Here, I just got these this morning. The old lady who sells these loves me, so she always gives me way more than what I need.”

He could’ve sworn his heart was about to melt from this little gesture - he loved dotting his home with flowers too, though he’d never thought to buy some tulips. Being someone to associate people with things for sentimental value, he knew tulips would be yours from then now. “Oh, thank you love, s’ really kind of you,” He beamed, taking the delicate flowers into his hands. You waved him off, getting onto your scooter.

“Have a nice run.”

“Have a lovely scoot, Y/N.”

#ahhhhhh #i literally don't know #harry styles one shots #harry one shot #harry #writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #fan fiction #harry styles fic

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compo67 · 2 years

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I was like that with hockey, too.

No way would I ever enjoy, sit through, understand or care about giant screamy men on skates chasing a puck. Nope. To enjoy a men's league pro sport was a dagger to my little queer heart.

I could only love World Cup soccer. Nothing else. And even that was only for Chilean patriotism and Latinx solidarity when Chile inevitably lost in the first round.

The gals and I used to do trivia at a sports bar. Best cheese curds ever. But yikes, a sports bar. But okay. I got used to it. People were friendly. We won our fair share of games. I remember posting about them here in the Before Times when we ate at restaurants without a second thought.

I'm pretty sure it was G who liked hockey first, because she probably found some slash erotica about it. (!!) I read Check Please and decided, okay, fine. I will try. If I wanna connect w the gals and understand what they talk about during games, I needed to try. (I wanted to try.)

I only got into hockey once they assigned me a team. A had the Bruins, G had the Pens. I asked for a team with a shippable pair of hockey bros. They thought about it and came up with a few teams. Then I asked if Texas had a team. Because I love Austin and my friend E moved to San Antonio and J2 are from Texas, so...

It just so happened that yes, Texas did have a team and a shippable pair: Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn. Both were under long, no movement clauses so unlikely to be traded ie. split. But. Buuuuut. The gals warned me that the Stars were a mid-level team at best and bottom rung team at worst. But! The Stars, in their opinion, had one of the best jersey colors.

As soon as I learned more about Seggy and Benn, the more I was like wow, yes there is chemistry in this game. And Seggy reminds me a lot of Jared, both just rays of sunshine and doggo lovers. Whereas Jamie and Jensen are the quiet, serious types who will kill a man if they so much as bump into their beloved.

From there, I got to know the rest of the team. And then, the Stars acquired Joe Pavelski. And then, we made it to the playoffs. My scrappy little team beat out the gals established big east coast teams! And yeah, the playoffs were in the bubble, but what a time to be alive! I knew the players names and numbers, I could understand their style of playing, I could read plays and passes. I started to know other players from other teams (damn you, Binnington!).

Hockey fandom is alive and well here on Tumblr and ao3. I haven't gotten into reading much fic, mostly because I discovered that Jamie Benn agreed with Candace Owens views on trans women in sports. Jamie never (to my knowledge) apologized or explained. I will go hard for Seggy, who, along with his teammate Dickie, took a knee in support of BLM.

Hockey culture is, in many ways, toxic af. But it's also super supportive. These guys are tender with each other. Grizzled vets will treat the rookies like small lambs. The rookies will show the utmost respect for the vets. Your goalie is everything and deserves those forehesd nudges at the end of winning games. No one likes any coach 100% (except maybe Pens fans?). Getting your first jersey is a rite of passage for fans. I love fights in the ice because it's so satisfying to see justice dished out in knuckle sandwiches. How dare you play dirty and expect to get away with that shit.

So I'm excited to work on Swans and Skates. It will be in Jared's pov, because I could write forever about hockey and bore everyone with it. This way, I get to learn about dance and sprinkle in some hockey knowledge.

The universe is amused by itself.

#compo67 #authorial rambles #Csl yells about hockey #ideas for later #swans and skates fic

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uta-no-sin-sama · 3 years

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Coming Soon to a Half-Dead Utapri Blog Near You: The Ballad of the Little Unicorn

Hi, everyone!

As I'm sure most of you who keep up with this blog are aware, the past few scenarios were a blend of Utapri and My Hero Academia. More specifically, the Utapri characters and what would happen if they met Eri from MHA. Those scenarios did a lot better than I thought they would (especially the ones with STARISH and Quartet Night lol) and I had a lot of fun writing them.

The thought of this crossover still hasn't left my mind in the month I spent writing those scenarios, so now I'm announcing a work in progress that I will be working on along with other headcanons, imagines and scenarios:

The Ballad of the Little Unicorn - an Utapri and My Hero Academia crossfic

That's right, a longer story relating to those most recent scenarios is in the works!

I'm still working out some minor details regarding the work itself, such as the number of chapters I want it to be and some plot points, but I do have a basic summary of what this work will generally be about:

It's been nearly four months since young Eri was rescued from Overhaul's clutches by Deku, Mirio, and the others involved in the mission against the Shie Hassaikai. The little girl has improved significantly since in trusting others, catching up in her knowledge when compared to other children her age, being happier, and simply being a child.

One day, however, Eri's newly-found normal life comes to a screeching halt when she wakes up from a routine nap to find herself in a city park far from where UA stands. She soon meets a beautiful young woman, who agrees to help the little girl find her way back home after accidentally bumping into her. The woman, who introduces herself as Haruka Nanami, takes Eri back to the performing agency where she introduced her to the members of STARISH.

The boys quickly agree to Haruka's idea to let Eri stay with them until she can help her get back home safely until one of them points out that their boss, Shining Saotome, would not allow anyone outside of the agency to be within its walls unless it was for a collaboration piece with another agency. On top of this, he would almost certainly use the little girl's powers for selfish gain should he ever find out about them. Not wanting to risk angering their boss while also not wanting to put young Eri in harm's way, Haruka and STARISH agree to keep the little girl's presence a secret from the rest of the idol agency while caring for her and continuing their work on an upcoming concert collaboration with two other idol groups. How long will they be able to keep the secret? Will Eri be able to get back home safely before Shining finds out about her existence? Stay tuned to find out.

This fic is mainly going to focus on Eri's interactions with members of STARISH and Shining Agency, but to my Quartet Night and HEAVENS fans, don't you worry! They'll be in this work as well!

I hope to post a new chapter every 1-2 weeks starting mid-November to catch up on all the requests - the first of which should be done by the end of this week, but I will let everyone know if anything should change about when new chapters will be posted. Of course, I will still do the things I was doing before starting this project: scenarios, imagines, headcanons and match-ups (yes, I do those now too).

This is the first full-blown fanfic I've written for this fandom and it is longer and in a different style compared to my usual works, but I'm excited to try to post some new material for this blog. I also can't wait for you all to read each chapter as well.

I hope you all are excited for this project to come to life as much as I am!

- Lizzie Rose

#big update #not a scenario or imagine #new project announcement #the ballad of the little unicorn #utapri #uta no prince sama #utapri and mha crossfic #eri #eri mha #mha crossfic #utapri crossfic

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yabookrevu · 3 years

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Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer (in which I finally fully lose it)

I am putting on my calmest mental voice. I am remembering that I made a choice to do this. I am refusing to blame myself for anything. I'm not going crazy. Probably.

I re-read Breaking Dawn, along with the rest of the Twilight series, to prepare for reading Midnight Sun. There's more of an explanation in my Twilight post for why, but it doesn't really matter. I did it, it's done, and now I get to talk about it, shouting into the void of the internet about the nonsense we have all endured. Spoilers a-plenty, if you haven't already read the book. Only a masochist would.

Bella finally gets boned down. It is awkward, not for either of the participants of said boning, but for the reader. Bella manages not to die, but does get bruised up by Edward's passionate lovemaking. To which I say, he warned you, madam. You're lucky your head didn't pop off mid-coitus and roll out onto the beach. Bella is totally cool with their little bit of unplanned S&M, Edward thinks he's a monster. At this point, that could be the summary of the entire series. Sad sack emo boi.

Oh yeah, Jacob has OPINIONS about B&E having sex on their honeymoon. They are not positive feelings. He almost squeezes Bella's arm off when he finds out. She is less okay with this bit of bruising. But still, she's more upset that she hurt Jacob's ~feelings~ than that he hurt her arm. What a shock.

Edward and Bella somehow produce a vampire baby. Never mind that the sperm of a dead man would be dead as well (or that he probably wouldn't even be able to get an erection), because I'm straight up not touching the mechanics of vampire sex with a ten-foot pole. Many others have done so, notably in the form of fan-fic, so I'm just gonna leave that alone.

Edward wants to remove the little presumably monster baby, Bella says no. It's very important that you know she's pro-life, guys! Monster baby is too strong and keeps breaking Bella's bones. She is, of course, totally cool with that. This is what gets me... babies don't actually HAVE to stay in the womb for the whole time. When the baby was big enough, why didn't they just safely c-section that sucker? Like yeah, it was growing at a strange rate, but they can all do math. They can figure out when the baby is the size at which it would have developed working lungs and stuff. Especially when it's sending out its little love thoughts into the world. That means its brain is working. Carve that ho out.

But no. For some reason (lazy storytelling), the baby had to stay in until it could rip itself out like the chestburster from Alien.

Bella explodes, dies, becomes a vampire. Jacob feels a need to comment mentally on Bella's naked, broken body. Everyone in this book sucks.

Bella names her baby the dumbest fucking name ever, closely followed by what she intended to name the baby if it came out as a boy (Charlisle? I can't remember, and I refuse to open the book again). Jacob imprints on baby dumbname.

Look, a lot of people are severely creeped out by an adult imprinting on a baby. This is one of the rare times that I think smeyer laid enough groundwork earlier on that the audience DOESN'T have to take it as creepy. Weird, sure. Heavy-handed? Obviously. Not necessarily creepy.

Bella and Edward do some more boning. Bella is apparently the best baby vampire that ever was. Baby dumbname grows too fast and has magic powers.

Seth is the only acceptable character in this book, and I will not be taking comments on that.

We meet lots of other vampires. They are mostly strange, some seem chill. I skimmed over a lot of their names, so I didn't really have any attachment to them. The book (helpfully?) includes a list of their names, but with no other information than where they came from. I didn't care.

There is a final "fight" in which no one fights. The movie version was a lot more entertaining. We learn that baby dumbname isn't going to grow old and die immediately. Shame.

The book ends, and everyone is happy, except me. I became much more bitter over the reading of this series. I remain bitter as I write this. Just... if anyone knows a GOOD vampire book, let me know. Recommend something. I need a palate cleanser.

#breaking dawn #twilight #stephenie meyer #book review #book rant #i loathe these people #or perhaps myself #i swear #i'll never be normal again #ya books

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sarinataylor · 5 years

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Hey, your Joger H/C's are amazing. I'm also a huge angst fan, do you have any thoughts for how they'd deal with John's depression over the years, I've read he suffered pretty bad from the 80's onwards, on the verge of a nervous breakdown

thank you!!!!!! they’re all drunken rambles (mostly) so... thanks!!! haha

im gonna take john’s depression from the mis-80s onwards, bc in the early 80s he seemed to be in his Element tbh and i stan a healthy happy boi

but yeah the mid 80s onwards i can see him just being... disillusioned? we’re talking about a man who was really only ever in the entertainment business, as it was, for the band - not individual glory. which. i mean, roger and freddie were, individually or otherwise, always going to make it big (by his own words) - they wanted it hard enough that no matter what, one way or another they were going to claw their way to the top. brian, once he got there, was happy enough there but john. john was never wholly at ease on his own.

and yeah. i can see the late 80s being a very difficult time. freddie getting sicker, roger sort of drifting between being extraordinarily and publicly protective of freddie and also..... absent. i could see the two of them actually drifting between 89-92, it being the sort of earth shattering loss that neither of them could quite configure. if we’re going by canon!au then, queen was essentially the framework around their relationship was built around and freddie was the backbone of that. freddie d**** would be the equivalent of setting off a bomb at the foundation of, not only their relationship but also of, who they are. who is roger, by the 90s, without freddie? who is john, by the 90s, without freddie? we’re looking at a couple who have defined so much of themselves by this loved one that in his absence they’re.... not sure how to regroup. the loss of freddie is more than they were ever able to account for, i think.

but, to follow your question. i think roger would (or did?) draw strength from the strength that freddie had for this music, his vision, to continue. which i think sounds very much easier to us left here than it must actually be, and which i can imagine (in the realm of canon!au, for i would never resume to project my own imaginings onto john who is not present in the public realm to defend himself nor project his own feelings and thoughts) would be too much for john. freddie’s music is there, he completed that which freddie left behind, and the concept of continuing to reproduce it and share it. may be too much for him. and while he may support his husband and brian still touring, he can’t separate the idea that freddie should be there from the idea that freddie wanted him music still spread and enjoyed, yeah?

but on how does it get handled? ‘94-’96 are spent very much so with just roger and john getting their Shit Together. taking breaks in the arrangement of MIH where they need to, learning to be together outside of Queen, outside of the family that they’d created there - learning if they can be (which i imagine they both feel quite guilty, after the fact, for doubting. but when your entire lives for the past twenty fucking years have been utterly immersed in one structure, when that structure loses its pillar, when it threatens to collapse entirely, is your life as u had formed it viable anymore? yes. but it takes time).

roger and john learning how to be in a post-freddie universe would be an entire fic in itself, i think, from either perspective. i’m not sure i could ever write it, it encroaches a little too far into that realness that leaves me fearing im moving all too far into a sort of disrespect that i could never try to defend, but. yes.

i hope i’ve answered?

#lo talks #joger hc's #headcanon asks #deakysgurl

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anonymousdandelion · 2 years

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💜👍🌻

Thanks so much for the ask! Answering in reverse order so I can more conveniently include angsty snippets below a cut at the end. XD

(Questions drawn from this list, in case anyone wants to join in!)

🌻 How long have you been writing fan fiction?

I'm a relative newbie to the field — I wrote and published my first fic on AO3 (Crowley's Door) in mid-2020! Prior to that, my might-have-been fanworks lived nearly exclusively in my head.

Right up until a couple weeks before writing Crowley's Door, I was very adamantly assuring a friend that I was simply utterly incapable of writing fanfiction and would never, ever be able to do so. Well, I guess we've seen how that turned out...

👍 What is your favorite trope?

There are many tropes I enjoy, but outsider POV definitely falls at or near the top of the list. (This holds true for both reading and writing.) It's so delightful to imagine different ways that the characters or scenes that we know and love so well might be perceived by (and interact with) others.

If there's one tag I'm almost guaranteed to click on whenever I see it, it's Outsider POV... and on the several occasions that I've tried my hand at the trope myself, that's also always been great fun as well.

💜 What is the most heart wrenching passage you've ever written?

Huh. I almost feel like this is one I should put to readers, since it can be difficult to distance myself from the fic enough to separate the emotions of the text itself from the emotions I had about it writing it!

A few angsty possibilities spring immediately to mind, though, which I'll put below the cut.

From my Antonio Penn (Poet Crowley) story Thoughts that Breathe and Words that Burn:

Holy water, the note read, written in the same ink that Crowley used to pour his nonexistent soul into rhymes and free verse.

Fraternizing, the word spun in his head, that one deadly word more deeply entrenched than any other he'd encountered, leaving no space for any competing lines, stanzas, or verses.

I don’t need you, he lied — a silver-tongued serpent spitting words of pain and falsehood, where once he had whispered truth in poetry.

When he returned home from the park, Crowley found his latest work-in-progress, lying half-written and innocent on a desk. He tore the paper to pieces, and burned it, and drowned the ashes in a teakettle, and flung the last remnants of what had once been the fruit of his heart into the pocket dimension, jumbled with books and manuscripts and shattered joys. He slammed the metaphysical door shut on it all with a vengeance, sparing a passing thought to wish pocket dimensions came with locks and keys that could be thrown away.

Then he broke his pen in two, and went to bed.

There are also several rather painful passages in my story The Innovation of Friendship, and the Capacity for Non-Abstract Love. A couple sample excerpts, from two of the most heartbreaking scenes in canon (bandstand and burning bookshop):

They met at the third alternative rendezvous, and words were spoken, words that should not have been spoken, words that hurt the listener, words that hurt the speaker even more. Cruel words, false words, ugly words, heartbreaking words, heartbroken words.

There was a moment — one long, clear, crystalline, compelling, excruciating moment — when Aziraphale heard the words “We can go off together,” and thought it was true. They could really do it. They could go. They could…

Then sense, or something that claimed to be sense, reasserted itself, and Aziraphale rejected the temptation, while one desperate piece of his consciousness watched in horror and failed to stop the words coming out of his mouth.

Friends? We’re not friends.

I don’t even like you.

It’s over.

With every word that either of them spoke, the guilt and agony and aloneness in Aziraphale’s heart twisted deeper.

The feeling was mutual. The feelings between them always had been.

And, a bit later in the same fic:

Crowley screamed, cursing out Above and Below and ineffability and anyone who was listening and anyone who wasn’t. The scream was the scream of a being whose last corner of world has just gone up in flames (along with a large selection of priceless literary works, some vintage liquor, and an angel’s corporation).

Somebody killed my best friend! Bastards, all of you!

The screaming didn’t help, nor did the drinking that followed. There was only one thing that could have helped, and that thing — that person, that being, that friend — was gone. It was the Sumerian potter all over again, it was Cleopatra, it was Elisha, it was Jane, it was Leonardo, it was Freddie… except it was all of them at the same time, multiplied by six thousand, and it was Aziraphale.

Oh, and finally, this opening section of my ficlet Demons and Happy Endings Don’t Mix (but maybe...) probably also ranks high on the heart-wrenching scale:

“All I wanted was a happy ending. All I wanted…”

He slurs it into his drink — the drink that he is drinking alone, because he is alone, which is of course the reason that he is here, the reason that he is drinking it in the first place.

He could sober up. He should sober up. (Although he is a demon, which tends to make the concept of “should” a bit more complicated.)

He does not sober up. If he is lucky, he’s drunk enough to pretend to forget this moment, this breakdown, this pitiful mumbling of the dashed hopes that he should have known all along were too happy to hope for, could never really have been possible. If he is lucky, he will wake up tomorrow with a hangover that is bad enough that he can almost fool himself into believing he does not remember.

… Oh. Except that he isn’t going to wake up tomorrow. He won’t even get the chance to have a hangover, and lie to himself, and try to drown the sorrows that never permit themselves to be drowned. Not even that. Never again.

Because there won’t be any tomorrow to wake up in. An eternity, without tomorrows.

All I wanted was a happy ending.

This is an ending, after all. The ending, in fact. The big ending, the great ending, the final ending. Not the happy kind of ending, though.

It was always an idiotic thought, anyway. Demons and happy endings don’t mix. He knows that. Should have known it all along.

#dandelion answers #fanfiction #dandelion fics #elderly_worm

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freedom-of-fanfic · 6 years

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I'm curious for your thoughts on this subject. I dislike the way antis use the term "yaoi" and "fujoshi" since I feel like these terms were created to mean specific things (in Japanese culture) and antis often apply it without considering differences between slash and yaoi. Also, I dislike the way they use yaoi to pretty much mean fetishizing mlm/content, and fujoshi as fetishizing women since both terms are from Japan and I feel weird seeing these terms associated with fetishizing.

I also am really bothered by the way English fandom has adopted genre words from Japan to mean ‘the worst version of [x]/fans of [x]’. it feels like a form of looking down anything coming from Japan/Japanese culture and treating Japanese culture as the source of these ‘worst versions’.

(a lot of what follows is from light research I’ve done over the years and personal experience. It’s my opinion and experiences rather than a closely researched and heavily sourced essay.)

I think the reason for this weird English-speaking take is two-fold:

Americans/western culture interprets the Japanese subgenre ‘yaoi’ and its Japanese creators & fans through the lens of American/western culture and finds them wanting

the reinterpretation of the concept of ‘yaoi’ and ‘fujoshi’ in American/western culture and the unfortunate associations created as a result

Without going into historical depth, any western - particularly American - interaction with Japanese culture is an unequal one. Besides the ignominious end of WWII, the American army was the means of forcing Japan to reopen their borders in the 1850′s. And frankly: western culture has been obsessed with Japanese culture (and other East Asian cultures) for literal centuries. and we’ve been taking their cool shit and appropriating and bastardizing it for just as long.[$]

the way that the words ‘yaoi’ and ‘fujoshi’ are being treated now is, in my opinion, an extension of this.

(this post was heavily updated on August 2-3rd, 2018, to add a lot more about the word ‘fujoshi’: it originally focused more on ‘yaoi’. huge thanks to blogs like @rottenboysclub, @oh-suketora, and @satans-tiddies for all the information they’ve put out on tumblr about these words.[%] )

American understanding of yaoi in Japan & its Japanese fans

Americans don’t understand yaoi or fujoshi in their original Japanese context, but we belittle and denigrate it as if we do.

BL (Boy’s Love) and its subgenre ‘yaoi’ seem to have a similar relationship to Japanese fans as ‘slashfic’ and mlm fiction does to American fans. But that doesn’t mean we understand yaoi/BL in the context of Japanese culture or that we interact with yaoi/BL the same way Japanese fans do. Same for the word ‘fujoshi’ - a term that seems to have been coined in a derogatory context but was ‘reclaimed’ by the very female-aligned fans that it was meant to denigrate. (but more on ‘fujoshi’ later.)

In Japan, the word ‘yaoi’ is more equivalent to a Japanese acronym for the English ‘pwp’ (plot? what plot?) than a word referring to mlm. Like ‘pwp’ in its original usage, ‘yaoi’ indicates a fanwork or small-time/one-shot original work (doujinshi) that has little to no plot and/or focuses almost exclusively on the sex part of a fictional ship, though ‘yaoi’ is specifically applied to mlm-focused ‘plotless’ fanworks*.

(*it’s worth noting that - as mentioned in the wiki link above - the word ‘yaoi’ does not, on its own, have a meaning attached to BL. it has more to do with who adopted the acronym for common use: specifically, BL doujin writers.)

‘yaoi’ has fallen out of use in Japanese fan circles. ‘BL’ - ‘boy’s love’ - is the word which is more of an umbrella term for mlm in the way ‘slash’ is in English-speaking fandom, covering everything from explicit sex to soft pre-romance hand-holding. however, ‘yaoi’ was the word that became known as the Japanese-equivalent mlm fan genre to ‘slash’ in English-speaking circles, which had the unfortunate effect of leading English-speaking animanga fans to compare only the most tropey, explicit mlm content from Japanese fandom against all varieties of mlm ‘slash’ content from English-speaking fandom.

This was comparing apples to oranges; a more equivalent Western fandom comparison to Japanese ‘yaoi’ would probably be silly oneshot crackfic and kinkmeme fics. But the misapprehension was already in place and only got worse as some of the tropes of the explicit versions of yaoi genre doujinshi became increasingly known - the ‘seme’ (’top’) and ‘uke’ (’bottom’) and their supposedly male/female-like roles, the ‘rapey’ tendency to show the uke as crying and reluctant under an aggressive seme, etc.

These kinds of tropes don’t sit well with a modern American audience. And Japanese bl fans have had their own conversations about whether bl/yaoi is harmful to or supportive of Japanese gay culture (and long before Western / English-speaking fandom circles were having them, at least in a widespread way.)

But Americans are ill-equipped to judge the situation from the sidelines. To provide a few examples of things we generally don’t have cultural context on to truly understand yaoi (BL, tbh) and its Japanese fans:

LGBTQ+ culture in Japan

the Japanese flavor of gender essentialism

social and societal pressures on Japanese people, particularly women (trans, cis, and intersex) & nb ppl who identify as femme-aligned

what it means to be ‘feminine’ in Japan

strongly gendered roles in the bedroom (sex in Japan)

Without knowing all this, how can we understand why yaoi (or BL) is constructed the way it is? how can we understand what draws people to it, or how it sits with Japanese LGBTQ people?

But because many yaoi tropes don’t sit well with Americans in the context of our own culture and increasing openness to LGBT+/queer people, and because we’ve given yaoi a false equivalence with a western genre of fiction that has a much wider range of subject and form, we’re apt to look down on yaoi as ‘bad mlm’ and on its ‘fujoshi’ fans as genuinely ‘rotten women’.

The international reinterpretation of ‘yaoi’ & international yaoi fans

the other way the word ‘yaoi’ is used by many people in fandom-centric tumblr - anti and non-anti alike - is in reference to how Americans/Western fans ‘initially’ interacted with Japanese-sourced mlm (’initially’ being when yaoi became well-known enough for a noticeable interaction to appear in American/western geek subculture).

Manga and anime had a popularity boom in the US around 2003/2004 thanks to improving internet speeds and the 24-hour cartoon channel Cartoon Network looking for fresh animated content to air. Media companies caught on and a glut of manga and anime were officially licensed, translated, and sold overseas.

As the popularity of Japanese media grew, the word ‘yaoi’ became more popular and widely used in fandom circles, usually as a substitute for ‘slash’ or ‘gay’ (fictional mlm) when the source material for the fannish subject was Japanese in origin. I think this hit its peak around 2006-2007; at that time many teenage and young adult anime fans (primarily female/femme) who enjoyed slashfic/mlm fic called themselves ‘yaoi fans’.

Why was ‘yaoi’ so popular in America/western culture? and why did its fans get such an awful reputation over time?

as for popularity, here’s a few aspects:

Just another word for ‘slash’ - it wasn’t so much that yaoi as a publishing genre was popular as that there were a lot anime fans in fandom using the word ‘yaoi’ for their mlm fan content instead of the word ‘slash’. (and it still is used this way in some circles.)

male-attracted teen’s first fanservice - because of the size of the boom and the comparative diffidence of American marketers to young (male-attracted) people, a young anime fan’s first published media experience with the sexual ‘female gaze’ directed towards men was more likely to be sourced in Japanese BL content.

American gaze on Japanese male companionship - manga geared towards young men / perceived men in Japan (such as Shonen Jump titles) features a lot of male companionship and tight bonds of friendship. So does American media, but American male culture rarely allows men to touch one another in friendly ways (any gentle touch from a cis man is treated as expressing sexual interest). Japanese male friendship culture lacks this physical distance. Guess how it was interpreted, and guess what kind of effect it had on American anime/manga fandom.

relatedly, this LGBT/queer read on Japanese-sourced masc-centric content, plus the willingness of works aimed towards femme audiences to present all-but-canon mlm relationships, probably functioned as a poor man’s substitute for the lack of LGBT representation in American media in some cases.

and some reasons for the terrible reputation ‘yaoi fans’ garnered:

American ‘yaoi fans’ in the mid-2000′s were mostly teenage girls/femme-aligned young people, and it is an American pastime to shit on teenage girls for being teenagers and girls at the same time.

10 years on, those teenage girls are young adults in their 20′s looking back on their younger selves with embarrassed disgust. That is: the word ‘yaoi’ started to garner its sour taste in the 2010′s because that’s when most of the teenagers of the 2000′s outgrew that particular flavor of immaturity.

a lack of LGBT/queer culture awareness and education in America. Yaoi or slash fanworks may have been Baby’s First Gay Content. It also might have been the entire extent of their knowledge about non-straight anything because America had by no means the same level of LGBT/queer visibility that it does now and certainly didn’t (doesn’t) educate about it. people said and did some awful stuff out of sheer ignorance and lack of thought.

fandom got better about it because resources improved and visibility increased, which was itself in some measure because of the popularity of mlm fiction in fandom circles leading to people doing more research and queer fans educating those who knew less. BL wasn’t necessarily intended as queer rep, but it did act as a gateway to queer culture for people who discovered things about themselves through BL.

socially inappropriate behavior of many, many kinds - including those who refused to separate fiction and reality and treated real mlm like live fanservice (‘omg real life yaoi!’). But as an icon of ‘yaoi fan in the 2000′s cringe culture’, perhaps nothing is so prominent and well-known as the ‘yaoi paddle’.

why is the yaoi paddle so illustrative and iconic? Well - the paddles were sold at anime conventions as a silly novelty item. Anime convention attendees tended (and still tend) to skew young, particularly compared to other nerdy social gatherings. And as you would expect of a bunch of (a) overexcited young people (b) relatively lacking in supervision and (c ) surrounded by things liable to raise their excitement levels even more, they did a lot of foolish things when handed wooden oars that were easy to swing around and hit people with.

At about the same time that anime fandom was truly exploding in size and the yaoi paddle craze was hitting its peak, the internet was juuust about bandwidth friendly enough to allow people to take videos and upload them to this awesome new site ‘youtube’.

I’d say ‘you can imagine what kinds of videos people uploaded’ but you don’t have to imagine. you can see for yourself. The human interest news articles practically wrote themselves. And while yaoi paddles were quickly banned from conventions and their popularity dropped almost as fast, it was an impression to linger. particularly, IMO, combined with other invasive social behaviors that were somewhat more tolerated at anime conventions back then: ‘glomping’, ‘free hugs!’ signs, awkwardly following relative strangers around conventions as nominal ‘friends’, cosplayers publicly ‘making out’ as ‘fanservice’, etc.*

so this is the image of the ‘yaoi fan’ today - a young, white American cis girl at an anime convention in 2007, lacking self-restraint, social grace, and the ability to distinguish fiction from reality. and though this image has little to do with the original Japanese concept, we use the Japanese word to conjure it.

*these behaviors weren’t limited to young female / perceived female ‘yaoi fans’ by any means, but partially because of yaoi paddles, ‘cringe culture’ and ‘yaoi fangirls’ were inexorably linked to one another.

International (mis)use of ‘Fujoshi’: a Brief History

In contrast with ‘yaoi’, the word ‘fujoshi’ has a comparatively short history in American culture. It had a brief rise to popularity in the early- to mid- 2010′s, but for the past year or two it has been heavily invoked by the (so to speak) ‘fandom police’ as an invective against (perceived) women who ship fictional mlm and/or create explicit fictional mlm fanworks.

‘fujoshi’ ( 腐女子 ) is a compound word composed of the kanji/hanzi for ‘rotten’/’fermented’ (腐) and ‘woman’ (女子 ) and is a homonym with an old Japanese word for ‘respectable woman’ (婦女子 ). It was coined on 2ch (a Japanese text board popular with men) to insult (perceived) female fans who ‘queered’ media content written for & centered around men: re-imagining (canon straight) male characters as queer/gay/bi, shipping them with one another, and discussing/creating explicit, sexual work around those ships. (sound familiar?)

In its original insulting context, a ‘fujoshi’ was woman who was no longer a desirable marriage partner because of her interest in BL. She had ruined herself by marinating in sexual fantasies - and not even normal sexual fantasies about having sex with a man herself. Instead, she had fantasies about men having sex with men! Not only had a fujoshi woman lost her cute naivete and innocence: she’d also turned into a sexual deviant. She was fermented, overripe, disgusting, undesirable.

I don’t know how long this meaning had any clout, because Japanese BL fans - BL fans from all over Asia, in fact - embraced the ‘fujoshi’ label. to me, the implication of the ‘fujoshi’ reclamation reads like a giant, queer ‘fuck you’ to the kind of dudebros who hated them: ‘you find me undesirable because i like gay/queer content? That’s hilarious, because I never wanted you in the first place.’

And to this day (mid-2018), 'fu’/ 腐, ’fujo’/ 腐女, and its varieties (腐男子, 腐人, etc) have positive connotations in kanji/hanzi-using fandom circles.

The word ‘fujoshi’ reached English-speaking Western fandom eventually (I want to say in the late 2000′s/early 2010′s). It came to us already reclaimed and was picked up as a positive self-label. In those earlier days, Western fandom called themselves ‘fujoshi’ in a way much more similar to how Eastern fandom still uses it:

It’s not my job to please you.

I’m allowed to enjoy taboo things like queer fanworks, headcanoning canon straight male characters as gay, and sexually explicit content.

If you think that makes me gross, then fine: i’m gross. your opinion doesn’t hurt me. in fact, I embrace it.

(now go away and let me ship.)

this connotation of ‘fujoshi’ enjoyed a brief period of popularity. There was a fandom ‘sweet spot’ for slash in 2011-2012: shifts in public opinion meant shipping gay ships wasn’t utterly taboo anymore and AO3 was a safe space for sharing slashfic. ‘Fujoshi’ came to semi-replace ‘yaoi fan’ in the English lexicon, at this time, becoming synonymous with ‘ships gay ships in animanga fandoms’, with the added bonus of partially shedding the connotation of loving old yaoi doujin tropes in one’s slashfic.

But in the last few years - starting in around 2014/2015, I want to say - there was a shift in the attitude towards shipping mlm here on tumblr.

mlm fans who are seen as women - whether they are or not - are increasingly told that shipping fictional slash ships or creating fictional content about men in love with/having sex with men is terrible. mlm shippers/fanwork creators who aren’t mlm themselves - especially perceived-female mlm shippers/fanwork creators - are apparent no different from the ‘yaoi fangirl’ stereotype above: the 2007 cis white socially awkward fangirl, holding a yaoi paddle and screaming with excitement about real life yaoi!!! whenever two real gay men kiss.

the word ‘fujoshi’ - still tied to the English-speaking concept of ‘yaoi’ by both words being Japanese in origin and related to mlm fan content - was about to get unreclaimed with a vengeance … by American/Western fans with hardly a drop of knowledge about Japanese culture, fandom, or language.

And it’s been every bit as ugly as you can imagine.

‘yaoi’ and ‘fujoshi’ on tumblr today (mid-2018)

fandom on tumblr, deeply into policing everyone’s fannish interests in the name of social awareness, invokes ‘yaoi’ in a two-fold way:

‘yaoi’ as a doujinshi subgenre in Japan: featuring fictional mlm in sexual situations for titillation written by Japanese women (& femme-identifying nb people) for Japanese women (& femme-identifying nb people), and the distasteful feelings American/western culture bears towards its tropes as being unacceptably unrealistic and ‘backwards’ by modern progressive American standards.

‘yaoi’ as ‘cringe culture’: an imperialistic American/western read on Japanese media content + exposure to Japanese BL, blending unfavorably with a lack of education on real LGBT/queer culture, a lack of alternative LGBT/queer media representation, and teenagers being teenagers

Tumblr fandom police, feeling that ‘fujoshi’ was equally bad as ‘yaoi’ by dint of being adopted as a label by animanga slashfic fans & as another Japanese word relating to mlm shipping, proceeded to co-opt, redefine, and ‘un-claim’ the word ‘fujoshi’:

‘fujoshi’, but literally. having gotten wind of the literal meaning of the word ‘fujoshi’, but completely lacking the context under which the word was created, invoked, and reclaimed, fandom policers designated their own negative meaning for ‘rotten girl’. ‘fujoshi’ means ‘straight girl that’s rotten because she fetishizes gay men!’ fandom policers say - even though that has literally nothing to do with ‘fujoshi’ in its proper context.

telling East Asian fujoshi they can’t call themselves fujoshi. having decided the word ‘fujoshi’ is tied to being homophobic (by ‘fetishizing’ gay romance), and that its derogatory of women because they rely on their own re-take on the literal, negative meaning, American fandom policers start attacking East Asian fans that proudly call themselves fujoshi. (I wish I was joking.)

In summary, English-speaking fans are using their own twisted, ill-informed, and imperialistic treatment and understanding of Japanese concepts to turn those words into pejoratives for use in petty ship wars.

(And when you put it like that it kind of starts to look a little … well … racist.)

[%] This post was never intended as an exhaustive resource - as noted at the beginning of the post, it was based on my absorbed knowledge from being in animanga fandom as an American for many years - but thanks to the blogs I listed, who have a much more thorough knowledge of kanji / hanzi-using fan spaces such as Japan/China/Taiwan, Korea (in part), etc, I learned a lot about the current usage of ‘yaoi’ (or lack thereof) in Japan & how fujoshi was adopted as a popular label over the last 9 months.

If you’re ever looking for more information on these topics, I would especially point you to @rottenboysclub, as their blog is focused on educating English-speaking fandom on Japanese queer/LGBT+ and fandom terminology.

[$] regarding western tendency to appropriate Japanese culture - Japan is eager to export the unique aspects of their culture. but how many times have you seen an English article with titles like ‘10 Reasons Why Japan is So Weird’ or ‘25 Weird Things About Japan that will make you say ‘buy why?’’ (the literacy rate in Japan being nearly 100% is #3 on this list). and okay - Japanese culture is remarkably different from American culture. But this ‘Japan is so weird’ talk is often accompanied by a tone of mild superiority.

consider how we treat Japanese cultural products such as movies. The recent Death Note debacle is only the latest in a long string of this kind of nonsense (though thank goodness it’s getting the reputation it deserves.) Remember The Ring? American remake of Ringu. And of course there’s dozens of other examples of Americans buying or taking things from its original Japanese context and trying to make it ‘better’ for a mainstream American audience, even though the American audience liked the original Japanese product just fine. (Dragonball Z comes to mind.)

(On the flip side you have ‘weaboos/weebs’, the contemporary word for ‘Japanophiles’, putting Japanese culture on a pedestal, which is not any better, and disgust with ‘weebs’ tends to be extended to the aspects of Japanese culture they worship.)

#racism in fandom #this is an americentric post #yaoi as a trope #in defense of fujoshi #in defense of freedom to fandom #animanga fandom #fandom history #TEH HOT YAOIZ

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