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#the government is a dick but what else is new
thebibliomancer · 7 months
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Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #44: BETTER A WIDOW...
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May, 1989
VisionQuest continues
Vision forgot to put his skin on today...
And Hank Pym's 'I'm not like the other superheroes' jumpsuit is awfully maroon today.
Anyway.
Last times on West Coast Avengers: John Byrne took over the book and a bunch of things changed between issues. Tigra, Wasp, and Dr Pym rejoined the team.
Then, a fake-Ultron attacked and Vision was kidnapped and unpersoned while the West Coast Avengers were distracted.
Mockingbird showed up to Explain It All and took the Avengers to the secret Vigilance base where Vision had been taken due to fears he'd try to take over the world again.
Only the West Coast Avengers arrived Too Late. And Wanda found her husband disassembled, his parts strewn everywhere. It'd be way too much gore for comics if he weren't a robot.
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Even this splash page is kinda too much, even with robot bits.
My boy! Look how they massacred my boy!
;_;
The various scientist who were just taking Vision apart are very concerned that Scarlet Witch and probably the Avengers are here instead of somewhere else being distracted.
And Wanda is not sympathetic. In fact, she's as angry as someone would be if they found their spouse turned into a pile of anatomy.
Mockingbird, who has still more exposition to exposition, explains this was the end goal of the kidnap Vision scheme. To erase Vision along with any top secret data he may have picked up when he was the internet for a hot minute.
Wonder Man shows up with project head Cameron Brock under arm and tells him to exposition more.
And since Vision has already been taken apart, Brock has no problem spilling the beans.
Vigilance is not a KGB operation but they are involved running the detention cells, which is why Mockingbird thought it was a KGB operation.
Brock reveals, he's not KGB and he's not SHIELD either. He's CANADIAN.
DUN DUN DUNNNN
Wonder Man jokes about the concept of Canadian spies, showing that he has never heard of Wolverine. He then jokes about Australia, because he's going for all the hits.
Brock goes 'well actually my deputy chief is Australian.'
And he explains that Vigilance is actually a truly worldwide joint venture. Almost every security network on Earth sent a representative.
The Americans, the British, the French, the Russians, etc etc.
The kind of global cooperation almost unheard of -- all to specifically fuck up Vision.
Brock reiterates what he told Mockingbird. As long as Vision wasn't on the Avengers, everybody was willing to grit their teeth and let bygones be whatevers. But as soon as he rejoined (because Hawkeye was a sad sack who couldn't keep together a team), all the intelligence agencies put aside their differences to fuck up Vision.
Global peace, just like Vision wanted when he took over the internet. What ironies.
Wanda claims that Vision can be put back together. He is a robotty robot so clearly they just reassemble him and good as new.
Hank Pym shows up just to say nuh uh.
This is a theme in this issue. People showing up in the nick of time to say nuh uh.
Even though Hank is an expert in robotics despite being a biochemist and even though he's more familiar with Vision's systems than almost anyone, he's skeptical that humpty dumpty can be put back together again.
If Vision's brain was erased like Mockingbird said, Hank has no idea how to deal with that.
Wanda says that they can just borrow some brain patterns from Wonder Man again and use the backup memory file that Vision kept in the Avengers' computers.
Again, with this idea that Vision's brain is a computer that can be uploaded to external storage. I feel like that's at odds with how Vision has been portrayed in the past.
But it doesn't matter.
Vigilance wiped the Avengers' computer systems with a virus. Both the East and West Coast teams. There's no back-up.
(This is where John Byrne put in a backdoor, as some writers do when writing something that may be contentious. In this case, his backdoor to get out of this was that there's a copy of Vision's brain in the Titan supercomputer ISAAC. From the time that Vision linked with ISAAC.)
(John Byrne also uses the idea that Vision's brain can just be backed up as evidence that Vision isn't a real boy and is just an overly sophisticated appliance. The idea that he introduced. Sigh.)
With all the problems on the table, Hank says lets ignore the fact that Vision's unique personality is probably gone forever, erased by magnets or whatever. Just putting all the pieces back together is going to be hard enough.
Heck, the Vision was built from the base of the original Human Torch, the most sophisticated android ever created. That might be beyond Hank's level of skill!
And then Wasp shows up and goes nuh uh!
Not about Hank not being able to do it but about the thing he said about the robot Human Torch.
The shocking prisoner she found in the detention level that was so shocking it had to wait until this issue to reveal?
It's Phineas Horton, allegedly!
He supposedly died in Vision's backstory but we're about to take a big dump on that.
Vigilance wanted an expert in Vision's systems so they tried to find associates of Phineas Horton that might have worked with him on the Human Torch.
Instead they found the actual dude. Just casually not dead.
Hank is like okay weird that Vision thought this guy was dead but he could have been mistaken. Either way, hot damn, the exact expert we needed is right at hand!
And Dr Phineas Horton says nuh uh. He's already here so he didn't pop in just to say it but he's complementing Wasp's earlier nuh uh.
He's definitely the real Dr Phineas Horton (this man will later be retconned to be an imposter, womp womp, retcon tennis) and he doesn't recognize Vision's systems at all.
Vision is definitely not Horton's creation.
DUN DUN DUNNNNN
Elsewhere, Hawkeye didn't get the memo about waiting just outside the lab to pop in and nuh uh things so he's wandering around the backlot of the Vigilance base.
And I say backlot because aside from the main areas that Mockingbird saw and the stuff related to disassembling Vision and holding people prisoner, this entire base is just a mock-up. Just enough actually functional stuff to fool Mockingbird into thinking it was a fully operational secret SHIELD facility.
Hawkeye also wonders how the Vigilance team was able to capture Vision, which I also am wondering.
But he hears Tigra growling and follows the sound to find her having cornered a couple of Vigilance guys.
Vigilance Person: "You're Hawkeye! Help us!" Another Vigilance Person: "For god's sake... stop her!!"
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Hawkeye calls Tigra's name which makes her swing her attention from nameless asshole 1 and 2 to pounce at Hawkeye.
I guess one of her uncontrollable cat instincts is to kill birds.
(Despite the narrative caption promising that all kinds of horrible injury is about to happen to Hawkeye, he's fine when we next see him and Tigra. Typical sensationalism, tsk tsk.)
For some ding dang reason, the narrative cuts to Absolom College in Texas where some shadowy collegiate figures are trying to choose a suitable subject from a list of mutants.
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Forty-one candidates are rejected before Scarlet Witch is chosen for whatever this is all about.
If you're curious and have trouble with the tiny headshots, here's how the judging sorts out:
No: Angel, Avalanche, Blob, Caliban, Callisto, Cannonball, Cyclops, Destiny, Firestar, Forge, Iceman, Karma, Multiple Man, Magma, Malice, Mandrill, Marvel Girl, Mastermind, Mesmero, Mystique, Nekra, Nightcrawler, and Pyro.
Too powerful: Apocalypse, Magneto, and Rachael Phoenix.
Too weak: Banshee, Black Tom Cassidy. This category is reserved for the Cassidys, I guess.
Too unstable: Beast, Cloak, Dagger, Legion, Quicksilver.
Dead: Colossus, Cypher, Dazzler, Havok, and Rogue.
No longer viable: Magik, because she retconned herself back to a young girl in Inferno, or something.
Unverified: Sabra, Sabretooth.
This was hard because the marvel wiki didn't have them all. I had to go looking other places and at one point just pull up a list of Marvel mutants and check everything that fell between certain letters. Because, thankfully, this is alphabetized.
What's funny about the dead category is that Cypher is the only one who is actually dead. Everyone else just faked their deaths and moved to Australia.
Back at the plot, some paramedics take Dr Phineas Horton away for treatment. Because he was an old man and Vigilance was keeping him in a KGB-type detention cell. He's not in a great state.
Wanda asks Hank why Dr Phineas Horton IF THATS HIS REAL NAME (lol, its not, retroactively) would say that Vision isn't his work when we all know that Vision was repurposed from the body of the robot Human Torch.
Hank has no idea but he's also distracted by the police coming up and asking what they should do with the Vigilance dudes that the West Coast Avengers captured.
And Hank says 'fuck if I know, let them go, ain't no law'
Specifically, since Vigilance was every intelligence agency working together specifically to fuck Vision, they all have government approval and nothing they did is wrong. And/or have diplomatic immunity because they're from Canada or whatever.
Project head Cameron Brock smugs about how Hank figured out how untouchable they all are.
Wasp is like uh geez are you sure, Hank? They kidnapped Vision and reduced him to piles of bits. And Hank says they sure did but we can't do anything about it. We didn't know we were fighting the law but the law won. Can't fight city hall. Best they can do is call Agent Sikorsky, the Avengers' government liaison, and whine about it.
Hawkeye and Tigra rejoin the group, having missed the plot, and Hawkeye covers for Tigra by downplaying the incident as Tigra getting "a little carried away."
Since the West Coast Avengers can't do anything except take Vision's various components home and try to put him back together, Hank proposes they do just that. Just leave Vigilance and go home to pick up the pieces.
Scarlet Witch has one thing she wants to do first.
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And she blows the Vigilance base the fuck up.
Good thing everyone was already outside.
I'm not through this arc yet. I'm not even through the issue yet. But I looked at marvel wiki and Vigilance only has two appearances. This issue and the previous issue.
So I'm going to maybe jump the gun a little and talk about why, however things play out from here on, this story is going to be unsatisfying.
I don't like that the Avengers just have to shrug and accept that the government(s) killed Vision and there's nothing they can do about it.
It's a lot like how many spider-fans are still pissed about One More Day. It's not just about the marriage. Spider-Man made a bum deal with the devil and he's never going to get to redeem himself as things stand.
Sometimes cruel things just happen and there's no recourse except to pick up the pieces and try to live your life. But the superhero genre tends to be more active than that. Situations can be punched. There's always someone that can be punched.
If the Implied President of the United States is behind an evil plot to use a mutant powered UFO to take over the country, you don't shrug and decide he's too big to fight. If you're Captain America, you chase him to the Oval Office and unmask him. For one, particularly bizarre, example.
I don't know that it would make a better story if the Avengers COULD fight Vigilance in some way but it would feel less empty.
This whole thing feels less like a story and more writer fiat. Just like starting the team with Tigra and Wasp and Dr Pym back so Byrne doesn't have to do the legwork to get the team where he wants it.
An evil governments conspiracy kidnaps Vision and takes him apart so he can be rebuilt in Byrne's preferred way, everyone stands around talk talk talking about how this change is totally irreversible and the Avengers also can't do anything to the people that did it. And then Vigilance fucks off to never be heard from again.
There's more legwork done but only enough to get the change on paper. Because having Vision change like he is going to (spoilers: Vision is not going to be a pile of parts forever) and have it happen between issues is too much for the audience to buy.
Also on topic, also spoilers: this is going to lead to one of the big OH NO WANDA HAS GONE CRAZY stories which was apparently the only research Brian Michael Bendis did before Disassembled. And it may not be a good story but it may have been a better story if Evil Crazy Wanda had gone after Vigilance. Instead of what she does do. Which is apparently try to have sex with Wonder Man.
Byrne is going to ragequit the book at some point so I'm not sure how much of that is his fault. But what a blatantly obvious plot point to leave on the table.
Anyway. That's my feelings about VisionQuest. Before we even see how it falls out. It's a drastic change jammed into the book without respecting the audience enough to make it a good story.
You know when a writer really wants to write to a certain conclusion and has to expend walls of text assuring the reader that this is clearly the only way this could possibly go down? That's what this all feels like.
So that rant having been ranted, let's move onto the beginning of another dumb plot point.
When the West Coast Avengers arrive back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, they discover a distress signal has been activated from the guest house - where Wanda and Vision have been living.
Understandably, Wanda assumes the worst. That Vigilance has come after her children too, she runs to the guest house.
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The racist governess Miss Bach tries to tell Wanda that babies Tommy and Billy vanished into thin air after she put them into the bath. But when Wanda runs into the bathroom in a panic, she sees that her two babies are happily splashing around in the tub.
... Add John Byrne onto the list of artists that just can't draw a baby to save his life.
Miss Bach insists that she looked everywhere for the twins but Wanda assumes that the governess was playing a sick prank.
So she fires her ass, right on the spot.
Miss Bach appeals to Wasp that she was telling the truth. But Wasp can't tell Wanda not to fire her own personal staff. She at least promises Miss Bach that she'll get the proper severance pay.
Then we time skip two days later, where Wanda is sitting outside Hank Pym's lab while Hank tries to reassemble Vision.
It's apparently not as hard as Hank feared, just tedious. Each piece has only one place it can properly go so its just a matter of trying to find the proper place for hundreds of thousands of pieces.
Wanda wishes that they could contact the Real Professor Horton not that lying fake. Y'know, the real dead guy who died in Vision's backstory.
Scarlet Witch: "If that central fact was now to become untrue... everything we think we know about the Vision would become equally suspect."
Wonder Man says he wasn't around at the time but he loves poking holes in the Celestial Madonna Saga. That's his Thing now. So given what he's heard, he thinks Vision's backstory is sketchy if only because they heard it with the help of Immortus, who is a sketchy, manipulative man.
But then there's a loud WUMP as well as CRASH CLANG tinkle! THUD! from within the lab.
Hank sealed the lab behind a bunch of airlocked doors to prevent contamination to Vision's kibbles 'n bits and it'll take three minutes to open them all.
Or.
Wonder Man just forces them all open.
And then a robot hand shoots out of the lab and shoves Wonder Man to the floor.
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Ohhhhhh! It's just Vision! He wandered off without putting on his pants or his skin!
Wanda caresses Vision's bare skull, begging him to say he recognizes her.
Terminator Vision backhands her.
Boo. Boo to you, skinless Vision.
Wonder Man grapples Vision, saying he's going to put him down for a nice nap until they can finish fixing him. But he's hesitant to use his FULL POWER on his brother so skinless Vision tosses him across the room.
Elsewhere in the building, Hawkeye is sitting around thinking about how weird Tigra has been.
What we missed off-panel is that he just used a gas arrow when she pounced at him, knocking her out until she calmed the fuck down.
That narrative caption promising horrible violence really lied.
After coming back from the Vigilance base, Tigra has been hiding away in her bungalow.
Hawkeye isn't sure why he promised to cover for her but WHOOPS INCOMING A-PLOT.
He hears the ruckus going on in the lab and hustles down to see skinless Vision hoisting Wonder Man around.
Hawkeye shoots a constrictor arrow at the rampaging synthezoid but Vision just flexes his way free.
Wonder Man tells Wanda she's got to use her bullshit win-button powers to win because brute force isn't working and that's all he knows.
Wanda refuses to use her powers against Vision because she's worried that she doesn't have precise enough control of her hexes and that she might make him blow up.
She DID blow up a building a couple days ago. But she was really mad at that building.
And while Wanda is paralyzed, refusing to help, Vision picks up Hawkeye and shakes him upside down.
Its pretty funny.
I will say that it does make sense that Wanda would be hesitant to use her powers on the robo-man she loves. Its similar to how Wonder Man is pulling his punches.
But I do note that Wanda has been pretty useless this entire story. She was hypnotized to be unable to fight Fake-Ultron. Not sure why that was actually necessary but it was the explanation. And now she's not able to participate in the fight against skinless Vision.
She did blow up a building though.
I also have to say that Skinless Vision is a pretty intimidating antagonist.
His arm shooting out of the smokey lab to grab Wonder Man. Striking Scarlet Witch with no trace of emotion. Staggering around in the shadows as he moves on the collapsed Wanda. The way he tosses around Wonder Man and Hawkeye using just his robot strength, not his density powers. His robot noises being more audible without his skin in the way. Just the way he looks like a flayed corpse.
I gotta give props where props is earned because otherwise this post is going to be just bitter. And props, skinless Vision is alarming.
Anyway. Back to the plot. Where Scarlet Witch refuses to help.
Wonder Man: "You've got to take that chance, Wanda! Trust that your power won't permanently harm someone you love! But do it now! Before he kills Hawkeye -- or me!" Scarlet Witch: "No! No! Forgive me! I can't! I just can't!!" Dr Pym: "That's all right, Wanda..."
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Hey, thank goodness for Hank Pym.
And that answers how Vigilance kidnapped Vision.
The device Hank has is a neutralizer that Vigilance used to shut Vision off for kidnapping reasons.
All the ruckus Wanda and Wonder Man heard in the lab was Hank reactivating Vision and then Vision smashing stuff up because when he's activated without his brain functioning, he defaults to defensive actions.
Hank only just regained consciousness and shut Vision back down.
SO THATS ALL EXPLAINED.
Skinless Vision is more of Brainless Vision. Head empty, no thoughts, just lashing out.
Hawkeye decides that this is his cue to call Washington and yell at Avengers liaison Sikorski.
Hawkeye: "Look, Sikorski, I don't care if I woke you out of your death bed! I want to know what you paper-pushers are gonna do about the Vision!" Sikorski: "Do? You seem to be missing the point, archer. We've already done it. The Vision has been rendered harmless. He presents no further threat to the security of this nation... Or any other, for that matter. You Avengers are now at liberty to reprogram him to suit whatever function you wish."
Wow. What an asshole.
He's still better than Henry Peter Gyrich but only because Gyrich would have said the same things and been 1000% smug about it.
God I hate Gyrich.
I'm glad Abigail Brand shoved him out of an airlock.
Anyway. Implication seems to be that Sikorski was In On It or at least was told after the fact and agreed 'yeah, excellent decisions all around.'
Vision isn't a dude. He was a malfunctioning appliance that had to be reset to factory settings so he could get back to Fighting Crime Or Whatever.
Hank argues that a) the Avengers can't just reprogram Vision that easily, b) the Vision they knew has effectively been killed by death of personality, and c) even putting aside all that, this is going to fuck up Wanda.
Which Sikorski acknowledges and says he regrets. That specific point.
What an asshole.
Anyway, as long as the Avengers called him to yell at him, Sikorski has some information he should have told them earlier but I guess he forgot or he's just shit at his job.
On top of killing Vision, the government has also decided that the West Coast Avengers and Vision need direct government oversight and have sent someone to take over the team. And the West Coast Avengers either accept this or the government cracks down on their future activities.
OKAY HAVE FUN WITH THE NEW GUY BYYYYYYE
And judging by the silhouette, it seems like the new guy is an old guy. A guy they can all get along with.
But silhouettes often lie in comics and this is the opposite of all that. A new guy that none of them can get along with.
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When the government issued an ultimatum our way or the highway to Captain America and he quit and became the Captain, the government gave the Captain America name, costume, and shield to John Walker.
But recently, you may have noticed that good ol' Steve Rogers is back in his old costume and name and shield. Well, the government gave Cap's the Captain outfit to John Walker and dubbed him U.S.Agent.
And by editorial mandate governmental order, he's joining the West Coast Avengers.
Yeah, actually, it was editorial mandate.
According to John Byrne, editor Gruenwald, who created John Walker, insisted that Byrne put him in the West Coast Avengers book.
A captain-esque guy on every team!
John Byrne, who rankles at any degree of editorial meddling, had him written in as being forced on the team by an uncaring asshole higher power so he can annoy everyone on the team and not fit in.
John Byrne is not subtle sometimes.
Buuuuut. Like I said with the Worst Roster. A team having friction is very often more interesting. And there's a kind of poetic irony to Hawkeye having been the asshole constantly butting heads with Captain America getting his own Brand X Captain America to be the asshole to butt heads with him.
It rhymes.
So VisionQuest continues for another issue but AS OF RIGHT NOW I have to say it takes a sharp dip in quality after the first issue.
The first issue really jumped into things with a newish team suddenly assaulted by a Fake Ultron and having Vision stolen right out from under them.
Issues 2 and 3 are in full justification and retcon mode so it all bogs down into walls of text and explaining how this sequence of events is the only sequence of events.
I'm actually excited to see U.S.Agent here to shake things up and be a pebble in the team's shoe right when they're already going through the identity death of a beloved teammate.
Just please. Fewer walls of text.
Follow @essential-avengers for all these posts but only all these posts. Like, reblog, and comment perhaps.
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yo9urt · 1 month
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today i return to the sea
#mine#its my last first day of school (until/unless i go to grad school but thats way off if it even happens)#the rest of these tags are all just going to be complaints so keep scrolling if you dont gaf#ok first complaint. my schedule is stupid and awful i think#winters schedule was weird too. but this one kinda sucks#the main problem i see is that both of my main classes are in the middle of the day so theres probably going to be people eating#(i have mis0phon1a)#so thats number 1. 2nd problem is that those classes also have the grading scale where u need at least 95 PERCENT to get an A. girl!#they are also both 400 level spanish classes so theyre just going to be kind of hard and annoying and a lot of work in general#the next problem is that my other class is actually not quite a class it is a teaching practicum. which i didnt even 100% want to do#but the certificate could be useful so im doing it anyway.#one of the guys in that class (i know some of the students already from winter) eats like a hog for like the first 20-30 mins so thats goin#to be miserable i bet. also at some point im gonna have to teach a lesson myself#which is scary and also frustrating because again i didnt even really want to do this. WHATEVER#ok what else. ummmmm#oh i think i might be unemployed LOL normally my boss would have done schedule coordination stuff like last week but i havent heard from he#at all. this is because we are government funded and the government does not want to fund us anymore -_- suck my balls#and my hog too. so money is going to be a concern which is especially awesome because ive already been trying to save up#becaues im moving out this year hopefully so im gonna need $ for that and for probably upgrades like i might get a new phone and computer#and stuff etc. and i live in an HCOL area so even though i literally just buy groceries my bill is like $294358939358/month#SIGH. also of course the final problem on the list is the behemoth of them all: i have to apply for jobs#i made a little spreadsheet to hopefully make the process easier. but its going to be agony lol fucking resumes and cover letters how about#i just kill myself now -_- and fucking interviews too. fuuuuuck you suck my nuts and dick and balls#i dont know how im going to cope iwth any of this LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also as usual i have like no friends so its just me going it alo#alone* in this big awful spring. 2 and a half months of this.#i suppose i will need to go back to the dispensary.#fuuuuuuuuuck man
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februarybluues · 11 months
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enemies with benefits || 2. - wounded.
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warnings: tw shirtless hobie, slight flirting tbh, cursing, arguing, slight angst to fluff, hobie gets injured, horrible british (i'm very sorry🙏 ) read part one here - series masterlist here part three - can't be love
After a few months of being partnered up with Hobie, you found yourself growing to like him. Well, slightly. There was no denying that he was a dick. Miguel paired you up together multiple times, and soon enough your hangouts with pav, miles and gwen, now included hobie. Normally this wouldn’t be a bad thing, right? Except for the fact that he was insufferable. He was smooth and pitiful. He knew he could get away with anything, and that’s exactly what he did. “Did you just take that from miguel?” You asked him, looking right at his shit-eating grin. He had pocketed a few ‘spare’ parts from around the spider-society. What he was planning to do with them was beyond your concerns. He shrugged at you, his hands planted in his vest’s pocket. “Yeah I did. It’s easy to nick from that lad. He either doesn’t care or he’s too daft t’notice.” he said, pulling the mechanical piece from his pocket and showing it off. He was so difficult. “So, what? You’re an asshole and a thief? Pick a struggle.” you insulted him, annoyed. “Aye i’m no thief! I’m tellin’ ya, them big corporations are plannin’ somethin’. Prob’ly gonna use it for new brainwashin’ tech anyways. Pigs.” “So, your theft is justified by the fact that the government are brainwashers?” he shook his head at you. “Big businesses don’t need th’money. They get more people to buy their stuff, and make it more expensive. It’s a scam, innit?” he concluded. You stopped walking and he turned back to look at you. “I don’t think Miguel is a big business. You just robbed an old man.” you said, and the both of you shared a quick laugh. He was kind of cute when he laughed. I guess. That happened a few weeks ago. It was the last peaceful moment between you two. Soon after you had a huge argument, that almost got physical.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shouted at him, interrupting his speech. “Wha’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! Y’show up one day n’suddenly you’re better than everyone else! It’s a load of bollocks!” your eyebrow furrowed as the both of you got angrier. “Oh you think i’m bad? Says the dickhead that practically feeds off of the attention of others.. I’ll tell you what you are, you're a greedy, narcissistic, self-absorbed cunt that is so far up his own ass he doesn’t even realise there are other people around him! You never listen to what anyone has to say as long as it doesn’t inconvenience you in the slightest, because god forbid you actually help out for once in your life. Typical fucking punk. Maybe one day you’ll rebel against your own jacket for being too small.” you enunciated each word with venom laced in your words. Your fists were clenched so tightly that your knuckles turned white. Hobie looked at you with the intention to kill. His piercing gaze burned right through your eyes. You never saw him that mad. Ever. “That’s fuckin’ it.” he cursed, before standing up. You stood up right after him and rolled up your sleeves, about to fight. Luckily, Pav jumped in between you two before a fight broke out. “Guys, guys, guys! There are better ways to settle things than with violence! Come on, sit down. Let’s just talk it out. Share your feelings with each other.” he said, his hands still barely keeping you apart from each other. You scoffed. “If he keeps talking shit I’ll be sharing a punch in the face with him.” “Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try, love.” The pet name was spoken, but not in a romantic or cute way. It was teasing, and insulting. You rolled your eyes at him, before turning around. “I’ve had enough of this bullshit.” you muttered before storming out of the room. Now, almost three weeks after that had happened, you hadn’t seen him since. You hadn’t seen much of anyone since. Miles and Pav tried to talk to you about what happened but you just shrugged them away. You couldn’t be bothered to deal with what had happened anyways. You were still so furious at him. You never wanted to see him again after that fight, and you were sure he didn’t either.  But, of course you’d be wrong. As he approached the window of your apartment, he was grateful that you had left it open. He clung to the wall next to it, peeking inside to see if you were there. The light was on in your bedroom, but you were nowhere to be seen. Or at least he thought it was your bedroom. This was his first time at your apartment. You both never hung out besides when you were paired up by miguel or when you were with miles, pav and Gwen. He'd never so much as been in your dimension at all. You were in the living room, eyes glued to the tv screen as you had been watching whatever had been on for the past few hours to pass time. It was then that you heard him climb inside through the window. Or rather, you heard the sound of him landing face-first on the ground. You sprung up, sneaking to your bedroom in order to investigate the sound. To your dismay, there he was. Standing right in the door frame; his hands inside of his vest pockets, posed strangely, as if he were hiding something. Your eyes widened at the sight of him. “Hobie? What the fuck are you doing here? How did you even get here?” you asked, looking at him with shock. His face remained blank and he looked at the ground. “Miles told me.” was all he said. He refused to look at you. As much as it pained you to say it, you really missed the sound of his voice. - Despite claiming to hate him. But whatever! “Why are you here?” you asked, this time your voice wobbled – not that you were sad. Well, you were sad. - and angry. And frustrated. God, you were just confused. Your voice wobbled with concern. You could only think of a few reasons as to why he’d decided to pay you a visit, and none of them were good. “Well, I uh.. Missed you?” “Bullshit,” you crossed your arms. You saw right through his lies. “Why are you actually here?” you asked, and he hesitated before speaking up again. 
“I… I need y’help.” He then  stood up straight, and pulled his vest off; now revealing a concerning wound that spread across his chest. He got hurt, badly. You looked at him and barely kept your jaw intact. You had so many questions, but you were sure none of them would be answered. “You… What…? Hobie what the fuck happened? Why- Why did you come to me for help?” your words were uttered with pure panic. He shrugged. He just looked at you and fucking shrugged. “Hobie, talk to me you dickhead!” you demanded, and for the first time in weeks, he looked into your eyes. But this wasn’t his usual hatred and spiteful look, He looked genuinely hurt. “Jus’ got hurt fightin’. No need to worry ‘bout me, princess.” you gave him a look that said both “are you serious right now?” and “are you okay?” He’d be lying if he said It didn’t make him laugh. You took a sharp breath, “Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen.” you began. He tilted his head, curiously. “I’m gonna grab the first-aid kit in the bathroom, and I'm gonna patch you up.” without uttering a word, he nodded, and with that you led him to the bathroom. “Knew you loved me.” he muttered, and your head snapped back to look at him. “What?” he smirked. “You talk all this big talk ‘bout ‘ow much y’hate me, but ‘ere you are.” you laughed at his words, turning back around and grabbing the first aid kit from the cabinet under the sink.
“I don’t love you. It’s just that if you bleed out on me, I won't have anyone to make fun of.” you said as you walked back up to him. But, he didn’t seem convinced, mumbling a quiet “sure..” “Shut up or I won’t help you.” much to your surprise, he actually did end up shutting up. You carefully examined his wound. And definitely not his abs. Nope. The side of his chest, and a little bit of the front was all-but ripped up. His skin was littered in almost cat-like scratches. But these marks weren’t from a cat. You grazed your thumb over a particularly nasty scratch, and he winced in pain. It hurt you to see him like this. He was suffering badly. Mumbling a quick apology, you opened up the first aid kit and began cleaning him up. He didn’t say anything the entire time. Which must’ve been a record for him. You wiped the dampened cloth around his chest, carefully and gently cleaning the blood. Once the wound was clean, you stitched and bandaged him up. You didn’t notice your face gradually getting closer to him, as you focused on the bandaging. It wasn’t until you felt his eyes boring into you that you looked up; your faces now a smile distance apart from one another. Embarrassed, you backed up slightly. “I’m almost done.” you mumbled, finishing up the bandages. “There, all done.” you looked up at him and smiled. A warm and genuine smile, he smiled back. There was such sweet bliss in that moment, for a split second you forgot that you were still mad at him. “Thanks, love.” The pet name was a common insult that he spoke like a prayer, never once failing to piss you off. But this time it wasn’t teasing. There was something about it that just felt real. genuine. He tried to stand up, but you grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the closed toilet seat. “Nuh uh. You’re not going anywhere yet. You need to answer my question.” his eyebrow furrowed with confusion. “Question? Wha' question?”
“Why are you here? Why did you choose to come to me for help, instead of like – anyone else?” “Dunno.” he shrugged, smiling at you. You couldn’t believe him. “What do you mean you don’t know? You could’ve gone to anyone. Why did you choose me? We literally almost killed each other last time we saw each other.” “I don’t believe in consistency.” He stood up, and put his shirt back on. “What-” he cut you off before you could furthermore question him. “Goin’ to someone else woulda been the smart thing to do. It’s what they woulda expected.” “They? Who’s they?” you asked, and his smile got bigger. “Doesn’t matter. I also just wanted to see you I guess.” he mumbled that last part, silently hoping you didn’t hear what he said, but at the same time wishing you did. In truth, he missed you. He missed the pointless conversations you had shared when the room fell silent. – Almost always ending in a dumb battle over who had the best insults. He missed the joy and relief he felt when Miguel assigned you to a mission together. He just missed you. Although it had only been a few weeks since you’d last seen each other, let alone only knowing each other for a few months, he quickly found himself enjoying your presence much more than he did others. He’d choose to be around you in a heartbeat. But, It’s not like he liked you. Of course he didn’t! He just felt happier when he was around you. While, yes, his heart would beat a bit faster when he was around you, and his cheeks and ears grew hotter when your arm accidentally grazed against his– that didn’t mean he liked you! Of course not! If anything, he hated you! He hated your stupid face, your dumb smile, your annoying mannerisms that he definitely didn’t have memorised, and he especially hated the way your nose scrunched up when you got embarrassed or flustered.  
“You missed me?” Suddenly, your confusion was forgotten. Now replaced by a grin. He quickly sprung up and grabbed his sleeveless jacket “Well, would’ya look at the time! I gotta get back to um, – yeah! Thank you for the help, my love.” He pulled his spider-mask over his head and opened the window. “Bye hobie.” he nodded at you, before climbing out and going god-knows-where. “My love.” the sentence repeated in your head an embarrassing amount of times that night. That was the first time he had ever called you that. And one thing’s for sure, it wouldn’t be the last time. Your relationship definitely changed after that. – but who’s to say that wasn’t a good thing?
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taglist: literally no one help dm me or comment or send an ask if you wanna be added idk
hope u enjoyed this part guys because it's getting juicy now mwa
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jannythewriter-pt2 · 6 months
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Collage Feels Pt.4
⚠️Warning ⚠️ SMUT
You begin to kiss Connie slowly but passionately, your lips clash in a messy frenzy and the kiss is hungry and wanting. He begins to rub your thighs, a little hesitant to touch you. “Con it’s fine, you can touch me” you say breathlessly “are you sure ma, I want you to be comfortable” he says quietly, “yes, yes baby please” you say, the hormones beginning to get the best of you.
Something switched inside of Connie at that moment, and you saw it in his eyes too. He then flipped you over onto your back and hovered over you, “is this your first time mama?” Connie asked breathlessly, “y-yes, but it’s fine you can-“ you are cut off by Connie kissing you roughly. “Nuh uh ma, we’re taking this slow, I’m not fucking you on the first night, but I will eat your pussy until your squirting.”
Not even a minute later Connie is pulling your shorts off, and low and behold your dripping like a waterfall. You try and close your legs because you’re shy but Connie opens them right back up. “Nuh uh don’t hide from me ma, let me see that pretty pussy” he says, hunger in his voice. “I-iv never done this before are you- oh f-fuck” your cut off by Connie’s lips hitting your pussy like a train. “O-oh fuck Connie, fuck w-wait wasn’t ready, sh-shitt”
He’s slurping up your juices like a starved man and letting out groans that go straight to your cunt. “You like that ma, your so wet f’me, this pussy all mine nobody else can eat you out like I can” hes says as he adds a finger in there. “Fuckkkk” you drag out the word at the new stimulation. Connie then sucks on your clit hard and you grab his hair, you’re a moaning mess and you feel a tight knot in the pit of your stomach, but there’s something else that’s foreign.
“F-fuck baby wait something’s comi-FUCK OH GOD, DADDY” you yell out in pleasure as you squirt on Connie and his fingers, and he doesn’t stop either. “Yeh ma that’s right, cum on these fucking fingers just like that mama, pussy so fucking good” he says encouraging you “baby it’s t-too much n-ngg~” you say overstimulated at him playing with your pussy after you just squirted.
“Ok ma I’ll stop for now” Connie says as he takes his fingers out of you, giving your pussy a kiss before he removed his head form in between your thighs. He then goes in the bathroom of your dorm suite and gets a warm towel, starts a bubble bath for the two of you, and gets you a bottle of water. “Drink ma, you need water, you look tired baby” he says as he gives you the water. “Thank you Constance” you say tiredly “you better stop using my government before I put a baby in you” you both laugh simultaneously.
He brings you to the bath and you both cuddle up together, (he put the sheets in the washer before y’all got in) he was rubbing your back and whispering sweet nothings into your ear . “So what are we now, we locked in or is you finna be locked out?” you say. “Nah I’m not going no where, your mine now, plus I see how all them other mfs look at you, gotta let them know that I’m the only one who finna be putting dick all up in yo guts, not them” he says seriously. “Well shii” you say happily.
Iv been gone for too mf long to not give yall a treat, double mf upload for the gyals 😌😫
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aprocessionofthoughts · 7 months
Text
Calling All Bats
ai-less whumptober 2023 day 26- came back wrong fandom- dp x dc TW- none summary- Jason starts looking for Danny
ao3 ailesswhumptober23 masterlist part 5 of DLM
Danny found himself pleasantly relaxing with this strange liminal. Which he figured was why Gotham had directed him to that apartment. He had been surprised when he reached Gotham’s border and immediately felt the city’s presence. He had never encountered a living city before even though he knew they were possible. He had hesitated at first, not wanting to intrude on what felt like a haunt. But Gotham had assured him with feelings of temporary protection, she couldn’t do much. She was too weak from constantly being surrounded by corrupted ectoplasm from all the disasters. But she could offer temporary asylum and let Danny know when the GIW entered Gotham’s border. 
Of course Danny hadn’t known that Gotham would be sneaky and direct him to a liminal’s apartment. Danny had not expected a liminal to come in, usually he could sense a haunt, but with Gotham as contaminated as she was, he figured the criminal's presence was hidden. It was also probably because Jason’s ectoplasm was also corrupted.
He wished he could have stayed longer in that apartment. He might have even been able to help Jason. But when Gotham whispered to him that the GIW had come, Danny knew he had to leave before the agents found Jason. Hopefully Gotham’s corrupt ectoplasm would help hide Jason. It might even make it more difficult for the agents to track him down as well.
But he couldn’t risk it. He wasn’t sure where he’d go next. At least he had gotten his bandages changed and eaten a few cookies.
-------------------
Jason didn’t know what to do. The kid was just gone.
How was he supposed to look for him? Where even did he go?
And these GIW agents or whatever were clearly after him. Jason wasn’t about to abandon the kid.
Leaving behind his hot chocolate and cookies he walked over to his room and put his uniform back on. 
The kid was like him. They both came back wrong. Jason grimaced. He’d always described himself as coming back wrong, but thinking about the kid like that was wrong. The kid was fine. Who cared if he’d died before. And maybe, Jason wasn’t messed up either? Danny acted like all this was normal. And maybe it was. 
Whatever. Existential thought could wait till after he’d found Danny and beat the GIW to a pulp.
He left through his window and made his way up to the roof. He paused. He wouldn’t be able to search the whole city by himself. 
That meant he’d have to call in reinforcements.
Ugh. What a pain.
He activates his comm. “Hey, Oracle. Anyone out tonight?”
“Hood, I thought you were ending your patrol early today?”
“I did. Then I found something. I need anyone out to help me out with the situation.”
“Red Robin’s out right now, but Nightwing is still suited up if you need him too.”
“Go ahead and patch them both to my comm.”
“Will do.”
A moment later Dick’s voice came through. “What’s up, Hood?”
“I need your help looking for someone.” Jason said, grappling over to the next roof. “Who are you looking for?” Tim asked.
Jason hesitated before answering, “He’s a kid about fourteen or fifteen, he’s some kind of meta. I was talking with him and he just disappeared. But he mentioned he has government agents trying to hunt him down to experiment on him.” 
“What’s he look like?” Dick asked, voice serious.
Jason paused before getting it over with. “He was wearing jeans and had a black hoodie on. And he has black hair and blue eyes.”
There was silence for a moment before Dick started cackling. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know this is serious, but really Little Wing? You’ve found us a new brother?”
“Shut up. We need to start looking for him.”
“Of course.” Dick said, sounding serious, but Jason could tell that the man was still smiling.
“Do you know what agency is after him?” Tim asked.
“A group called the GIW. I don't know anything else.”
“I’ll look into them. I’ve also got my systems looking for any black haired, blue eyed kids.” Babs said.
“We’ll find him, Hood.” Dick said.
Jason hoped so.
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bess3714 · 1 month
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If I were in charge of DC here's what I would do to the Batfam comics in no particular order:
Batman and Robin:
I would send Bruce and Damian on a sabbatical/road trip across America. They of course keep running into crimes wherever they go and solve them, leading a couple of FBI agents to start investigating them for committing the crimes. One FBI agent will remind people of a chihuahua, and the other of a St. Bernard. Also Damian has his permit so he can drive, and since Bruce currently doesn't have a hand in comics I'd add in a plotline where they help an alien who grows back his hand as a reward but he does it wrong and now Bruce has an extra finger.
Batman:
With Bruce and Damian gone, I'd make Tim Batman and Stephanie Robin. They fight crime and bicker like old ex's, leading to some interesting rumors about Batman. I'd make a directive that Tim isn't allowed to be drawn as a twink anymore, but has to be drawn with the rippling muscles he had in the 90's and 00's. Stephanie also gets rippling muscles. Part of the b plot for a while is Stephanie's rivalry with her next-door-neighbor who turns out to be a drug lord, but the drugs he sells are like, insulin and ADHD meds that he and his gang steals because he's a doctor who lost his job for reporting some ethics concerns and now he's mad about the medical system. Stephanie gets mad because in hindsight all the clues were there that he was literally in a gang, and she didn't notice because she thought he was just an asshole. Also they definitely make out at one point.
Detective Comics:
I love what Ram V is doing right now but I think when he's done I'd put Duke Thomas in the main story investigating systemic corruption in Gotham, shining a light (because he's the Signal) on the worst parts of the government. At some point he's accused of murder and the police are all trying to arrest him so he blows up some cop cars and Batman calls to yell at him but he hangs up on Batman. Montoya has a dartboard in her office with a picture of his face on it.
I'd add in an ongoing run of a comic that resembles the original batman comics in style and content. Then I'd have a a bunch of stories with some lesser-known characters, like the Psyba-Rats. I'd really use Tec as a playground to experiment with unusual team-ups, fresh stories, and inventive artstyles.
Birds of Prey:
I like the current lineup but there needs to be 30% more queerbaiting between Barbara and Dinah. There's an issue where Barbara and Dinah pretend to be lesbians to get this himbo to leave Dinah alone because she's trying to let him down easy because he's so damn nice she doesn't want to hurt him. (Has anyone watched Rizzoli and Isles, coincidentally?) I'd also add Helena Bertinelli to the team but she has an eyepatch for inexplicable reasons (the reason is it looks cool). The eyepatch will be dropped without any recognition a few issues later. Barbara drops both Batgirl and Oracle and gets a new identity as the Cloud. Only the Birds of Prey know it's her; everyone else thinks the Cloud may or may not be an evil AI working for Lex Luthor.
Outsiders:
I'm not reading Outsiders so I can't really comment on what I'd do for that one, but if you guys have any ideas let me know and I'll do the opposite, inciting fan fury and starting a Twitter war.
Nightwing:
I would send Dick to live in New York and also I would make him broke and homeless. I thought about making him lose his memory too, but that's already been done so instead I'd give him violent visions of murder and assault so he thinks he's losing his mind but then it turns out to be a secret policy from the new mayor of New York City to quietly round up all the homeless people by releasing gas into the streets at night to knock them out, but Dick has had too much exposure to drugs and poisons for it to work right on him, so instead he gets hallucinations!
Batgirl:
That's right, you'd get a Batgirl ongoing from me! Cassandra Cain would be the main character, and in the first arc I'd have her join a dating app, but then every date she goes on turns out to be with a criminal who she then sends to jail, and just when she's about to give up on dating, on the very last date she goes on the guy tries to force a charter pilot to help him escape by plane but Cass takes him down and the pilot is like "so that was cool. Can I get your number?" and they start dating. After that Cass accidentally joins a gang but she keeps getting gang members sent to jail and no one suspects it's her, only at some point she actually becomes the gang leader. There's then a crossover with Batman where her gang beefs with Stephanie's next-door-neighbor's gang and Cass ends up giving her gang to him peacefully.
Batwoman:
While I'm at it, I'd launch a Batwoman comic. I'd get Chuck Dixon to write it and it would be both wildly homophobic and also the gayest thing you'd ever seen, but eventually ol' Chuck and I would have some creative differences and he would depart, and instead we would have a rotating cast of guest authors. I don't really know much about Batwoman but luckily knowing about a character in order to write them isn't a requirement at DC. I think we need some ghosts so there would be an arc about Batwoman getting haunted by a bunch of angry, vengeful spirits who she thinks are trying to kill her but who are actually trying to lead to their killer. One of the ghosts is a really hot woman and they share a passionate kiss before the ghost girl disappears after Kate gets them justice. The arc would be lauded in some articles as a 'major reversal of the bury your gays trope' because at one point Kate has to dig up their bodies to look for clues, while in other news outlets it would be decried as a 'vile depiction of the desecration of queer final resting places.'
Red Hood and the Outlaws:
Jason starts a club/gym for a group of teenagers where he teaches them cool stuff like 'how to throw a punch' but also 'how to buy and cook groceries'. The gym is threatened by various forces like gangs, developers, the city government, plus the kids all have personal problems they have to deal with, like mental and physical disabilities, generational trauma, homelessness, and poverty. The teenagers call the gym "The Saloon" and themselves "The Outlaws" because Jason always has a TV playing reruns of old western shows. There's a running joke where various people think Jason looks like a dead relative.
Poison Ivy:
I'm a few issues behind but this one I would leave alone. I don't think I could improve on it. Unless I made Janet from HR and Croc an item. That could be fun.
Harley Quinn:
Another one I'm not reading so I don't know what's going on there but it could be fun to have a crossover storyline with Poison Ivy where they grow and sell shrooms to rich college students and then influence them to do stupid stuff and get them arrested. You know, fun date night activities!
Conclusion:
My time in charge of Batman comics would be one of mass outrage and general fervor. My directives would be so unpopular amongst fans that petitions would be started to have me removed and violent death threats towards me would be de rigueur online. I would depart after a few short months and my replacement would almost immediately retcon all my creative decisions away into a dark universe that would then be blown up by Lex Luthor. Ten years later, a dedicated fanbase for the comics produced under me would emerge, and they would be so loud and annoying and insistent that fans would then clamor to get me back in charge of DC once again, but unfortunately by then I will have retired to start drama on Twitter and write a memoir after a failed attempt at starting my own comics company called Big M Comics and getting sued by McDonald's
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odinsblog · 16 days
Text
Elie Mystal covered the ridiculous, “Presidential Immunity” (aka, “Why Can’t Trump Be Treated Like A Dictator?”) case before SCOTUS
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Dreeben: "BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T CRIMES!" (he didn't yell, I did, but he said "because there weren't crimes." )
Oh God, now Roberts wondering if they should send it back to the DC circuit because he's worried about presidents getting prosecuted in bad faith.
Roberts: "The court of appeals did not get into a focused consideration of what facts we're talking about or what documents we're talking about... they did not look at what courts usually look at when... taking away immunity."
Is this motherfucker serious? His argument is "Every president coups, why is mine getting charged?"
Thomas: Are you saying there's no immunity even for official acts?
And... that could be the ballgame
Roberts, Gorsuch, and Kavanaugh are more worried about a prosecutor going after a president for *political* reasons than A PRESIDENT TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT.
This is just about over.
And by "this" I mean the rule of law and by "over" I mean delayed indefinitely to help Trump.
Gorsuch suggesting that under the government's standard a president could be prosecuted for leading a "civil rights protest" in front of Congress and sought to "influence an official proceeding."
Yes, because Jan 6 and a fucking sit in are the same thing, Neil.
This is goddamn disgusting.
I'm going to keep listening because it is my literal job, but this is pretty much in the bag for Trump at this point. Remand to DC Circuit for decision on "official acts" and whether organizing a coup is one.
After November, if Trump loses, SCOTUS will return to the issue.
Alito: Are you really saying the president is subject to criminal laws like everybody else?
YES YOU DICK. THE PRESIDENT SHOULD BE SUBJECT TO THE LAWS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!
Alito: "I'm not talking about the particular facts of this case."
WHY? WHY THE HELL ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING CASE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?
The question I'd have for the SCOTUS now is: If you do this, why would a Republican president every peacefully transfer power again?
Democratic presidents will because Democrats follow rules that don't apply to the other side. But why would Republicans just leave *ever again*?
Alito: Couldn't FDR's decision to inter Japanese Americans during WWII be charged [as a crime]?
He says that LIKE THAT'S A BAD THING?
And Dreeben is trying to say that he couldn't.
This country, and specifically this court, is a fucking joke.
Now onto self-pardons. Alito is just playing all the Fox News hits now.
I'm going to smoke. Biden should send Seal Team 6 to Mar-a-Lago because according to Alito there's no downside.
Alito just suggested that the last election was "questionably decided"
I have left my body and am texting things I can't say aloud to my friends.
Kagan is like the first person to be asking about the actual criminal acts Trump is charged with.
I assume Alito is not listening because Kagan is a woman while Gorsuch is probably sitting there emailing the New York Times because they got something wrong on the Spelling Bee.
I see the internet is unimpressed with Dreeben but that's being a little unfair. The Republican justices want to do this, there's nothing that Dreeben could say to stop them.
What he *could* be doing was making their hypocrisy more clear for the non-legal media following along.
But... SCOTUS advocates have to preserve their ability to argue another day, and blowing up the justices in one case
A: Doesn't help them actually win the case.
B: Actively hurts them in the next one.
Kavanaugh: "Like Justice Gorsuch, I'm not concerned with the here and now of this case, I'm concerned about the future."
I don't know why this is acceptable. I do know that the justices are sure they are right about ignoring the facts of THIS ACTUAL CASE.
Kavanaugh... who WORKED FOR KEN STARR... is basically saying that Jack Smith is politically motivated and his appoint in unconstitutional.
It's... maddening. And most of the media reports will not even point out this hypocrisy.
The "independent counsel" law was rewritten into our current "special counsel" law BECAUSE of the shit Kavanaugh helped Starr do! Everybody was like "that crap can't happen again."
Somebody get @neal_katyal and @MonicaLewinsky on the phone to blow up this asshole.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky Every time I try to no have a stroke listening to this bullshit, they say something even more risible and stupid.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky Kavanaugh: "President Ford's pardon. Hugely unpopular when he did it... now probably looked on as one of his better decisions."
What? WHAT? WHO THE FUCK THINKS FORD'S PARDON OF NIXON WAS A GOOD IDEA? WHEN DID I DIE AND GO TO HELL????
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky This could be a men v. women 5-4 ruling.
Men: Let's kick this back to DC to further delay Trump's trial.
Soto, Kagan, Jackson: Why? That's fucking dumb.
Barrett: Ladies, I agree with you, but we shouldn't call the men fucking dumb. We should politely disagree.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky We're past the two and half hour mark for an argument where the Republican justices made their decision when they were appointed, some of them decades ago.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky KBJ is closing by trying to answer all of Gorsuch's questions, which would be effective if Gorsuch operated in good faith. But... he doesn't. So...
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky I had hoped that *one* of the liberal justices would have made the point from the Common Cause brief, highlighting that the whole point of what Republican justices are doing is to give Trump delay.
Not a persuasive argument for the justices, but good for the media to hear.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky The case is submitted. Court doesn't come back till May 9th which will be a decision day.
But I think they won't decide *this* case until July 3rd for max delay. And that decision will be 5-4 to remand the case back to DC, for additional delay.
@neal_katyal @MonicaLewinsky I wish I had better news for you. Thanks anyway for following along with our national descent into madness.
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Text
Imagine the beast pirates learning you are a criminal mastermind
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Kaido: *going over a cargo manifest* we will sell these in Port Chugal, prepare them for shipment.
King: Port Chugal won't buy pirate goods anymore, the world government found out they've been trading with us, so they replaced the king there.
Kaido: That's the third distribution market I've had to change in the last month. First the Bourgeois Kingdom, then Ballywood, and now Port Chugal. How are they finding my warehouses?
Queen: we don't know at the moment, but we're working on it
You: *King's assistant* I would like to point out something that all three have in common.
King: Silence.
Kaido: let em talk, I want to hear what they have to say.
You: they were all common stops on Captain Rondow's transport route, who was captured almost three months ago by the world government.
Kaido: You think the poor bastard broke under torture?
You: It appears so, and from the other reports we're getting I'm guessing they have figured out how you conduct your exportation operation. *Hands King the reports*
King: *Skims them* we spent years building this system.
You: which means building another will be faster this time. I'm guessing how they're locating our goods is by the fact that while it's labeled under a company that doesn't have any paperwork officially filed in countries we claim it's from.
Kaido: what are we supposed to do, get a business permit?
You: yes, but actually no. Now any new businesses from any nations in your territory will come under scrutiny by the world government. So I think we should find any failing, but long-established companies, and bail them out in exchange for slipping our illicit cargo into their product distribution.
King: that... might actually work, but there's no way we can guarantee their loyalty.
You: that's why you give them a small percentage of the profits and gather blackmail material. Most rich people are sick fucks will have skeletons in their closet, you just have to look for it.
Kaido: I'll entrust the task to you, and in the meantime we'll have Yamato fill in for you with King.
King: what! No! Your son is... not great at paperwork.
Kaido: Sorry bud, but I'd like to see what they can do on their own, so I'm setting them loose.
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Returns from setting up the new network seven months later
Kaido: I just got the finance report for the last quarter
You: *literally just got off the boat* Sir?
King: Your network is more efficient than what we had set up.
Kaido: you're getting promoted, so you can manage it from here.
You: But I was really looking forward to working with King again.
Kaido: then you'll work under him not me.
You: I'm keeping my desk in your office.
King: For someone who ruthlessly castrated a man to get him to do what they wanted, you are very clingy and sentimental.
You: I was well within my rights to revoke that man's dick privilege, you had no idea how man people he's assaulted. I did that town a fucking favor by pickling that man's junk
Kaido: you pickled it!
You: Yes I did, how else, so you think I got an entire town to look the other way about our ships coming into the harbor?
Kaido: I never would have thought of that... You know when I met you I never would have guessed you'd be an asset to my operations. You seemed too soft and naive, too kind.
You: *shrugs* Well thank you for thinking I'm kind, but I just so happen to hate you less than the world government, and you have more money than the revolutionary army. And Lin Lin and her family freaks me out.
King: don't forget Akagami and Whitebeard won't hire you since you've worked with us.
You: *clicks your tongue* and I regret it every day.
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Coming Soon
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madlad-sadgal · 10 months
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Y'all liked it so here's a few more things I noticed in my watching of Nimona (again).
Nimona Spoilers!
We get a small section of Ball's innocence wall, and we see that his primary suspect is none other than Thodeus "Todd" Sureblade. Also, Blackheart is used everywhere, most likely as a nod to the comic, but also as what the media has dubbed this new villain, as we do as a society in real life. Giving certain famous serial killers names is an example.
Nimona did some drawings and said it was because she wanted her resume to pop, but it was most likely because she can't write or read as no one really took the time to explain it or teach her.
"Lay low until we RISE LIKE A FIERY PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT!" Nimona not only spoiled her shifting into a phoenix to save the realm from the canon, but also her coming back (rising from her ashes like a phoenix)
We get another shot of Bal's innocence wall, and there we see a place where he circled in red "Who has the ressources for a laser like that?" And honestly, to me, it reminded me of what the canon did, which would explain the Director, since she clearly has access to the canons. The laser in Bal's sword, the laser in her staff, and finally the laser from the canon. Everything was her.
The Director was most likely acting overly dramatic when talking to Bal because she wanted to reinforce the guilt, and maybe even gaslight him into thinking it was his fault.
As the Director is leaving, we can see Nimona sneaking in as a mouse in the bottom left corner.
When we see the beat up knights, in the upper left corner, you can see a knight stuck in a vending machine, which I just found funny.
The light reflecting off Nimona's eyes, indicating her clear difference from everyone else.
When Nimona throws her axe, it hits a knight in the background who then falls off a ledge and falls down a few stories, so she may have actually killed someone.
We can clearly see Ambrosius go through so many emotions when he sees Bal again; relief that he's alive and he didn't kill him, guilt for his arm when he glanced at the prosthetic, confusion when Nimona calls him Nemesis, and surprise when she drags Bal away. Also, when she drags him into the closet, we get a short shot of Ambrosius half way through unsheathing his sword.
Bal's "Did you see the way he looked at me?" Being a parallel to Nimona's "Did you see the way that little girl looked at me?"
Nimona quite literally rips a pole in half and bends it over the door to keep it closed, showing a great amount of strength.
The "You're gonna die in this closet!" Joke that we all catches but I still wanted to point out because it's funny.
As Nimona is falling through the floors as a whale, she tells us that Todd canonically has a small dick ("Cold in here?")
I saw this pointed out once, but still wanted to as well, but Nimona says that she spruced up the Lair by making it more evil, but she quite literally adds Christmas lights, showing her childish side.
When we get another shot of the new murder wall, we can see the picture of Todd again, except Nimona drew a fist punching him in the face.
That's what I have so far. Might do more if y'all like this!
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la-bruja · 10 months
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╔═════•●•══════╗
Fanfiction Reccomendations
╚═════•●•══════╝
hi im a little insane and i read way too many fics 💖
here are some fics I've enjoyed this week! so far it's mostly batman, danny phantom, and crossovers between those two! haha I need some variety I swear.
everything under the read more because I have fifteen (15) listed! <3 okay thanks for checking out my recs!!
(if the formatting is a little ugly, it's because i did this on the app on my phone <3)
(tumblr (app) is a peice of shit and deleted some of the fics i had on here. aaaaaaaaa) (i will try again next week)
»»———-DPxDC-———-««
Wait, I'm a What? by @atiyasnake
based on a tumblr post
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 31k+ Words. Last Updated June. 5k+ Kudos. Misunderstandings. Ghost King Danny. Accidental Crime Lord Danny. Cryptid Danny. Sentient Gotham.
He kept taking the cash from the assholes (and damn there were a lot of assholes near where he lived) messing with the residents who lived in the area. He kept accepting their offers of food. So because of this new routine that kept him able to afford to rent out his shitty (and possibly illegal) apartment and the hunger pangs sufficiently satisfied, rumors grew.
Like and Survive - Phantom’s Guide to Young Hero Survival by @robinasnyder
based on a tumblr post
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 73k+ Words. Last Updated July. 3k+ Kudos. Youtuber Danny. Ghost King Danny. Adult Danny. Good Parent Clark Kent. Therapist Jasmine Fenton.
Phantom is considered an old timer who deals with a small city and nowhere else. When he begins uploading videos with advice for young heroes, he hopes a few new heroes might avoid some of the pain he went through. He's shocked at just how popular his advice suddenly becomes.
Bus To Nowhere by @precarious-hermit
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 98k+ Words. Last Updated July. 20k+ Kudos. Ghost King Danny. Bad Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton.
After being on the run from his parents and the government for a couple of months, moving from town to town, Danny ends up in Gotham City and decides to risk staying in Batman's territory. He'd take the wrath of Batman over live vivisection via beloved parents or being studied and torn apart by the government. Besides, he's not a meta. Being dead is a medical condition.
The Firstborn Son by @faeriekit
Complete. Two-Shot. 7.5k Words. 1k+ Kudos. Ghost King Danny. The Infinite Realms. Dimension Travel. Accidental Child Acquisition. Child Endangerment. Mind Control. Horror.
Danny Phantom, a somewhat established ruler of the Ghost Zone, has unwittingly acquired a baby.
And. Well. He can't exactly keep it in Pariah's Keep. He's no parent, not to mention the huge problem of how the air and sky destabilize human cellular structure. There has to be a way to prove that the man is safer than the home the baby comes from.
...But the man has his own ward.
Hm. Danny can exploit this. What's an assessment without a little test?
Amity In The Ghost Zone by @ghostboybrainrot
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 7k+ Words. Last Updated March. 1k+ Kudos. Good Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton.
The city doesn't return on its own after Pariah Dark is defeated. Without knowing how to get the whole city back to the living world, Danny tries to evacuate the residents but most Amity Parkers don't really want to leave. Some people do, but many decide to stay. After all, Amity Park is their home, and the idea of having to start over somewhere new isn't very appealing. So the town, for the most part, continues on like normal.
Holding Me Now In Hand by @disillusioneddanny
Completed. Multi-Chaptered. 67k+ Words. 4k+ Kudos. Death Defying. Dick/Danny. Ghost King Danny. Teacher Danny. Bad Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton. Miscommunication. Identity Reveal.
After Tim Drake tells his family about his new insane chemistry teacher, Dick Grayson decides to do some investigation himself.
What he wasn't expecting was to instantly fall in love with the chaotic science teacher.
Our Empty Graves by @nabtime
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 63k+ Words. Last Updated July. 3k+ Kudos. Graphic Depictions of Violence. Dead On Main. Jason/Danny. Slowburn. Bad Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton. Hazmat AU. Mute Danny. Hurt/Comfort.
They say that Red Hood has a loyal mutt. The man rules his territory in Crime Alley with an iron fist and a guard dog at his side. No one's ever heard him speak. Anyone who's ever seen him says he looks like an experiment gone wrong, that Hood picked him up somewhere unspeakable. They say he'll do anything Red Hood asks of him and he'll do it well. Rival gangs say he's vicious, that he'd sooner rip your throat out than let you go.
death echoes by @redskyeatnight
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 38k+ Words. Last Updated June. 9k+ Kudos. Account Locked. Ghost King Danny. BAMF Danny. Creepy Danny.
Cold air on the back of his neck. Skeletal fingertips skittering up his spine, barely there and yet pressing so hard they would surely leave indents. A sound like an iceberg cracking apart echoing in his ears and through his head, pain following in its wake.
His throat went cold, his tongue suddenly numb.
And for a second - just a second - he smelled nothing but the stench of death.
"Oh My God, I'm Becoming My Father." by @fanfiction-artist-prototype
Incomplete. Three-Shot. 22k+ Words. Last Updated June. 1k+ Kudos. Account Locked. Misunderstandings. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. Blood and Injury. Accidental Child Acquisition. Implied/Reference Underage Prostitution. Protective Jason Todd.
Dani needs money, there's only so long her human body can last without food, and she lost the credit card Sam gave her when she crash-landed in Gotham city bay. So, she decides she's going to go the one guy she knows exists in Gotham that will help a kid down on their luck no questions asked - Red Hood.
Last time she'd seen Danny, he'd told her that there were rumours the Red Hood was undead, so he was the safest option for a halfa like her.
Hatred At First Sight by Sagoberattare
based on a tumblr post
Complete. One-Shot. 1k Words. 4k+ Kudos. SoulHate AU. Danny Phantom is a Little Shit.
Until the Joker looked at the skrunky kid in a ratty hoodie that looked like he could be a Wayne adoptee. And they both froze for a good minute.
And like some kind of demented switch got flipped the kid snarled and (still with his hands tied behind his back mind you) launched himself at the Joker.
Back to the World, In the End by @akela-nakamura
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 9k+ Words. Last Updated June. 800 Kudos. Halfa Jason Todd. Heavy Angst. Supernatural illnesses. Jason Todd is Not Okay. Eventual Comfort.
Jason's been sick for weeks and nothing he does seems to help. He's not ready for his confrontation with the Bat. He's not ready for his plans to fall apart when they've barely begun.
But his illness isn't stopping. One warm Gotham night, he hits a metaphorical wall.
Nightwing finds Red Hood on a rooftop. It's been a long night, but it might be looking up. After all, finally capturing the Red Hood will make Gotham that much safer.
Inquisitive by @oliveofvanders
Completed. One-Shot. 1k+ Words. 2k+ Kudos. Journalist Danny. Danny is a Little Shit. Damien Wayne Loves Animals. Crack Treated Seriously.
Damian has a very specific way of dealing with reporters – show them the animals, that usually scares them off.
Danny, however, has seen weirder shit in his lifetime.
Like Betta Fish Do by @clockwayswrites
Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 48k+ Words. Last Updated July. Updates Bi-Weekly. 7k+ Kudos. Dead On Main. Jason/Danny. Ghost King Danny. Halfa Jason. Canon-Typical Violence. Jason Todd Needs a Hug. Danny Fenton Needs a Hug. Lazarus Side Effects. Identity Reveal.
Danny had ended up trespassing in Jason's haunt. He didn't mean to. Total accident, he swears. (He blames Johnny.) So he bought the other halfa a basket of bathbombs and chocolate as a 'sorry, please don't disembowel me' gift. It was the proper thing to do, alright?
Everything was going to be just fine.
Then things got a little out of hand.
»»———-Batman-———-««
Send To All by @cairoscene
Completed. One-Shot. 3k Words. 5k+ Kudos. Emails. Epistolary. Poison Ivy Adjacent.
I, _____________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).
»»———-Danny Phantom-———-««
and they were roommates by @captainbrookeworm
Completed. One-Shot. 9k+ Words. 400 Kudos. ChatFic. Humor. Memes. Crack. Crack Treated Seriously. Post-Canon. Identity Reveal.
Mr. Lancer’s English Class Group Chat
Wes Weston: FINALLY
Wes Weston: INDISPUTABLE PROOF
Tucker Foley: For the last time the moon landing was NOT faked!!!!
》 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。 。° 。。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。 。°《
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thottybrucewayne · 4 months
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A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO HELL: 2024 EDITION
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Every zionist, duh, but esp yall who screenshot perfectly reasonable posts and go "Um, the look at this idiot who thinks genocide is wrong" yall make my ass itch and nobody takes you seriously, MOVE. 2. The entire U.S. government but esp Joe Biden that old ass man gettin spit roasted in hell (AND NOT THE FUN KIND!) 3. DIDDY AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT PROTECTED AND DEFENDED HIM. 4. Tory Lanez whole family, his mama, his daddy, his dog? All them. 5. The nonblack people who run those Rap House Tv type blogs that are clearly trying to be shade room clones. 6. People who get all their news from the Shade Room and Whatsapp, sorry auntie, I'm sick of you tellin' me COVID can be cured by sticking cloves of garlic up my nose :/ 7. Every single one of you dirtbag leftist ass people, yall do nothing for nobody except you thousands of adoring "former nazi" fans that need to be told it's okay that they still say the n word in private. 8. N.O.R.E and every single hiphop "journalist" 9. Charlemagne Tha God and Dj Envy, they know why. 10. Everyone who made Ike and Tina jokes after Tina past away. Grow up. 11. You fanfic girlies. So many of y'all are seeing the lake of fire, But esp if you donate to ao3 or own ao3 merch. Like, that is just embarrassing. 12. It's 2024, If I see you coming up here saying shit like "Miku wroke harry potter!" or " Hello Kitty wrote Ofmed, actually" I'm sending you to hell myself. 13. Booktokers? This is yall the second year on this list, tighten the fuck up and stop being weird about strange men on the internet, now. 14. People who do LITERALLY NOTHING yet try to tell other people how to be activists. You contribute nothing to any conversation you're a part of, suck my dick from the back. 15. People who stopped masking because other people were making them feel bad. Fuck your mama not being able to see your smile, PEOPLE ARE DYING???? 16. Lana Del Ray and Taylor Swift. They know exactly what they did. 17. Every white girl on twt who tried to jump me cause I said the Barbie movie is white feminism at its finest. 18. Elon, you raggedy bitch. 19. Every single man who hit on me this year who isn't one of my friends. 20. People who don't know what transmisogyny means and make that everyone else's problem. I need yall to start reading so bad it's not even funny. 21. You "goth is a feeling" people. You gonna be "feeling" that hell fire nippin' at your ass, NEXT 22. You 35 defending fanservice of high schoolers in anime/manga all day every day...yeah, just get on down there, big fella. They waiting on you. 23. Cishet Black men on tiktok and twt who make it their life's mission to make an ass of themselves for minor ducats. You are a one-man modern-day minstrel show and you will be dealt with. 24. White Tyler The Creator fans. Y'all know what you do.
Dishonorable mentions: Shojo fans who never talk about the fucked up shit in the manga they recc you because "At least its not as misogynistic as shounen!" (yes, yes it is) Fashion tiktokkers I hate so many of you its not even funny Every person who put the image of T.D. Jakes getting his doonies beat down at a Diddy party in my mind. Like I literally never needed to think about that. My dad <3 and all my friends' dads. Patricide NOW!!!!! People who are still whining about having to boycott shut upppppp god damn. People who stare at me in public. You got a fuckin problem?????
That's a wrap! Here are the lists from last year and the year before feel free to add more in the tags <3
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bittersweetstargazer · 9 months
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It was a quiet night. Almost too quiet.
But that was the kind of behavior that made Stephanie laugh at him, made Dick call him paranoid, made Tim roll his eyes, made Jason-
On second thought, it was perfectly quiet. Just quiet enough to let him stew in his thoughts in peace. But there were some things he'd prefer not to think about.
Like how Jason hated him now, their disastrous arguments where Bruce wasn't sure if he was going to come home anymore, his dead body laying limp in his hands-
He stared at the report he was writing, blank face as he tried to focus on Poison Ivy's new pollen that she spread the other night. He had come across a few criminals who seemed to be under the effect of it that night.
He considered packing up for the night, turning in to sleep at— he checked the time —3:00AM. After, he had a business meeting tomorrow at 10. It would do him nicely to get a few extra hours of sleep before he had to get back to business as Bruce Wayne.
He yawned, standing up and stretching his limbs. He felt his back crack, sighing in satisfaction. He closed up the report, checked all the security cameras around the manor and few around Gotham to make sure nothing bad was taking place.
Bruce walked to the door, hand almost on the handle before the door burst open, smacking him on the nose.
"Gah!" He stumbled backwards, feeling blood stream down his face. "What the hell?"
"I should be asking you that question!" Jason stomped in the room, way too loud for the current hour, and punched him across the face, agitating (or breaking, if it's not already) his broken nose. "What in the fresh hell is this!?"
Jason pulled out his hand and shoved it into Bruce's face, showing a series of messages between him and Clark. Bruce's heart ached for a second, knowing that Jason still kept in touch with Clark, more than Jason had done with Bruce.
The messages seemed to be casual back and forth conversation before he could see Clark asking Jason to give Bruce a chance. It goes on, with Jason refusing, but then Clark brings up how Bruce had, in fact, actually tried to kill the Joker, but was restrained due to Clark and the Iranian government. Bruce had a quick, sudden flash of anger, remembering how enraged he was when Clark had stopped him, explaining everything. He suddenly deflated, nodding silently to validate the fact that yes, he legally could not have killed the Joker.
Jason's face froze for a second, staring at Bruce with an unreadable expression. "W-why didn't you tell me any of this?"
Bruce shook his head, opening his mouth to speak, although a little clumsily. "You were mad. I already blamed myself for your death and I wasn't in the best state of mind. I thought it didn't matter if you blamed me for anything else, and that it didn't matter because either way, you died under my watch. I thought I deserved it."
"Shut up, shut UP!" Jason roared, shoving him into the wall. Bruce's head hit the wall hard, the low thud that echoed reverberating in his head.
"This isn't about you, but you always make it about you. It's always about how heartbroken you were or how angry you were! I bet you never gave a single shit about me when I was still alive, huh? Just wanted the street urchin to prove to your golden child that you could replace him easily, almost as easily as you replaced me!" Jason had tears streaking his face, his words sounding more melancholic than furious.
Bruce's eyebrows furrowed. "It was never like that, Jason, I loved you, truly. Nothing you could do could ever change that."
"Really?" Jason's voice was quiet- shaky, even -as he took in what Bruce was saying. "Then why didn't you tell me?"
"I already said that—"
"No, Bruce. I don't want that bullshit answer. Why didn't you tell me."
Bruce opened and closed his mouth a few times, lost for words. Finally, he settled on "I don't know."
Jason froze, devastated. His face morphed into anger, and snarling, he said, "I don't even know why I tried with you."
He turned around, ready to stomp back out of the cave, but Bruce grabbed his arm. "What do you mean, Jaylad?"
"Don't call me that, and never contact me again, you- you—"
"Jason! I don't understand. Please, let me make things right—"
"NO!" Jason yelled– no, screamed –and ripped his arm out of Bruce's grip. "No." He broke down crying.
"You never wanted me to be in the family did you? You knew you couldn't tell the Joker and you never told me because you didn't want to see me around again, huh? Well, screw you. I can do so much better than this shitty family."
"Jason, that- that isn't true. I—"
"If it isn't true, then why didn't you tell me?"
Silence rung throughout the cave as Bruce was left grasping for answers. Jason shook his head slowly, backing out of the room.
"Forget this."
"Jaylad. I- I'll admit that there might've been some part of me that couldn't bear seeing you again. You reminded me of all my failures, all my weaknesses, and all the way I could've done better. That was wrong of me. I shouldn't've forced my regrets onto you, shouldn't have made you living proof what went wrong. You deserved better than that. And I promise you, if you turn around and come back to me, I'll give you what you wanted all along. Just please, forgive me."
Jason stopped walking. Bruce held his breath.
"I'm so tired. I don't know if I can keep doing this."
"I know. And I'm sorry."
. . .
"Do they hate me?"
"I don't think anyone could hate you, Jaylad."
Jason crumbled to his knees, running his hands through his hair in a crazed manner, sobbing loudly. "I just- I just want my dad. I just want my dad."
Bruce slowly crossed over to Jason, kneeling next to him and pulling him into his chest. "I'm here, Jason. It's going to be okay."
@bruciemilf
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suzie-shooter · 4 months
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Haven't done one of these for ages, but have a Screaming Meals commentary stream recap for the Formula E race on 13.01.24 with James and Clem.
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J: Give them a taste of Kiwi!
[has a go at Clem for concentrating on the stream subs rather than the race] J: God knows what else I've missed in the time I've even just explained this point.
J: Oh God, someone's phoning me now, oh God I'm going to have to take this - improvise.
C: Da Costa's out. J: Oh well that's okay, he's not a client.
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[on New Year] C: I'd be lying if I said I remembered much of it. J: Yeah I thought that might be the case.
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C: Do you know what the biggest issue is right now? J: The…war, in… C: No, no, my tyre, on my car.
J: You really have to be careful when you're navigating crevices - Marcus has found that out the hard way.
J: If I was driving a Formula E car I'd be yawning too.
[on Clem's drive for next year] J: If you don't know then you're not looking hard enough are you.
C: I am doing ELMS and I'll be at the Daytona 24 in 2 weeks' time and so will my ever loyal acolyte James Blair.
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J: What do you say to allegations that Moses came down with the tablets from the good Lord on the mountain faster than we have got the bank account paperwork back from Armstrong? I don't think Moses was up there for eighteen months.
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J: God I really cock a shoulder when I do that.
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[on Rick Armstrong] J: "If you aim high you can't shoot yourself in the foot" - he was talking about his girlfriend at the time.
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C: Something we haven't told chat - I'm starting work in insurance, eh? J: Yeah that's true. Full on insurance agent. You heard it here first. […] All the heavy lifting's still going to be done by me, Clem's very much going to have a relationship management role. C: Which is great for me because that's pretty much all I'm good at. Chatting shit.
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J: Qatar is sponsoring us? The government of Qatar. Our lives have changed Clem, we've got oil money! C: Yeah I wouldn't want to take their cash actually.
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C: I always thought I'd be a great TV presenter. J: Technically that's what we're doing now. It's not far off. C: It's not exactly channel 4 but - J: No, it's better. Because we can say fuck.
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J: Interesting storyline developing here, Cassidy's hanging out the back of Buemi. C: Don't know if you want to mention that on stream there. J: Well he's hanging right out the back of him, I mean look. C: Quite a graphic tale you're sort of describing.
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J: He's getting his nose really tucked in to the rear end of Evans there […] this is the hottest thing happening on track right now, is Vergne hanging out the back of Evans, with Hughes looking to get involved […] trying to get up Mitch Evans. Who isn't trying to get up Mitch Evans, be realistic.
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J: Maybe he wants Vergne to be hanging out the back of him. And then he'll just really open it up at the end.
J: It's a real sloppy rear end. C: Real sloppy. how's Jehan doing? J: Yeah he must be sort of running a sloppy rear end.
C: "Is James going to any ELMS races?" James is going to all of them. J: Pretty much all of them yeah. C: Who do you think's going to fucking be the entertainment factor behind the scenes? J: Yeah you know like endurance races are like long, you can't drive the whole thing. You're going to need some dicking around. We'll just be hanging out the back of the garage.
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C: "What are your goals for this year?" - James. J: I really want to nail the guitar actually, hang on I was gonna share this earlier. [fetches guitar] C: Play Wonderwall.
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C: Chasing Cars? J: Yes! C: I read the chat. J: Oh fuck off.
J: I think this is the G string.
J: I haven't done a lot of fingering in my time with my left hand […] I've got a lot of experience of strumming with my right hand.
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J: Old Clemogio's a bit heavy in the eyelids. C: I've got to go and fucking - sort out my tyre.
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p1nkcanoe · 5 months
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(government official voice) sir. sir? there have been some asks on the tumblr blog gravehags about the bigger ghouls wearing lingerie
oooooh big ghouls and lingerie
*rubs hands together evilly*
imagining the big ghouls wanting to dress up for someone else, surprise them with something they wouldn’t normally do, but not quite having access to the fancy lingerie like the ghoulettes have, and not having the pretty lace and mesh pieces that rain does, not having the leather garments with straps and buckles that cirrus and dew take interest in… so they have to borrow. they have to make do.
they have to borrow and it’s so embarrassing to ask. it shouldn’t be, but it is. and what’s even more embarrassing is when they try on what they’ve been borrowed.
bras clasped on the loosest clasp, still threatening to bust, and lace bralettes stretched taut between the delicate threads… panties never fit, they press into their hips and create red lines where fabric is far too tight, and there’s never enough fabric to really keep the things they need contained where they need it. even the leather, when the buckles are looped through the loosest hole, dig into flesh and push fat over the top of straps and waistbands…
it’s hard to look in the mirror once it’s on. it never quite looks right. never looks like it does on aurora’s tiny frame or rain’s long one… even the shinier pieces seem to lose a bit of their shine once it’s pulled tight across a much larger frame. it takes shaky fingers to get the clasp secured behind their back, a sweat on their brow as they struggle to get it done without breaking another thread… it’s mortifying with every snap and pop of the seams, but they’re not doing it for them. it’s for someone else.
stepping out of the bathroom is the hardest part. so is stripping their clothes to reveal what’s hidden underneath to a new set of eyes, but even if their dick isn’t completely secured, their tummy hangs over the decorative bow on the front of the mesh panties they wear, if their chest fills out the cups of the bralette—or if they don’t and the cups hang loose and empty—their partner is always speechless and more than appreciative to make sure they know exactly how gorgeous they are. how perfect.
— tagging @gravehags since this seems to be your kinda thing <3
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atom-writings · 8 months
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Can I request Russia x reader? Ivan loves PDA and his S/O looks small and not dangerous. But one day S/O beats the shit out of Alfred because he made fun of Ivan's PDA.
hetalia with a small s/o who stands up for him
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1.0k words ~ gender neutral headcanons + scenario
tw: swearing, alfred is a dick
a/n: ivan i vlove you sosososoosos much . did u guys know that hes my favouritest boy in all the lands????
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A small and adorable S/O is exactly what Ivan wants in a partner!
He's very aware of how ironic it is that you two are together, and he can't help but find it a little entertaining at least. Normally, he pretends he doesn't though. He'd never admit it unless it was in a completely concealed joke.
You always come with him everywhere. Sometimes it's because he wants to show you off, sometimes it's because he wants you to lose it and go off on people. Every time you defend him, his heart nearly bursts out of his chest (It has done that before. Physically. It was horrifying) with love and adoration.
It just means the world to him that you think he's worth standing up for. Almost no one has ever done that for him before.
So obviously, he's very protective of you in return. Especially considering how people treat you as well, he's thrown a couple of people out of places (Again, physically) for you before.
He knows that you can defend yourself, but you're just so small and delicate! Like an adorable woodland critter! And if you got hurt under his watch, he could never forgive himself.
Also, yes, Ivan would LOOOVE PDA.
Even at the most inappropriate of times. He doesn't have any social awareness at the best of times, but when he sees you, his single shred of shame goes flying out the window.
As shy as he may be, he's not shy with you. Besides, when he’s affectionate, he gets to show the rest of his friends how much his S/O loves him <3 which is always a priority.
As soon as you two arrived at the G8 afterparty, you knew it was going to turn bad. A bunch of thousand-year-old men with a million issues with each other, getting drunk at some random American bar? Well, what could go wrong? That's what Ivan asked, at least. But really you were asking yourself, what could go right?
Yao wasted no time in calling you over, and Alfred wasted no time getting shitfaced. How they let him drink that much when he looked barely 21 and had an ID with a moustache drawn on it, you'll never know.
As you watched him begin hounding the bartender to play something more “patriotic,” Francis nudged you in the side.
”Just like his father, eh?“ He commented, causing you and Ivan to chuckle lightly.
That chaos continued for hours, with the two of you eventually joining in on the drinking. The tab that the 9 of you racked up must've been the budget of all of New York, but that's what government pensions are for, right? Besides, it's not often the group could get along without tearing each other apart. Might as well enjoy yourselves.
Well, enjoy yourselves for the most part. Because the moment Alfred dared to say a single thing about holding down his drink, Ivan of course had to challenge him. Despite the pleas of everyone around them, their boyish pride was not swayed in the slightest.
Alfred didn't last long. To everyone else that was inevitable, but it seems the young man didn't appreciate being outdone.
”Well, of course, you won! All you people do is drink!“ He slurred, holding onto the table for support as he approached Ivan, who didn't seem to care about the American's taunts.
”I do plenty of things, Alfred.“
”Yeah, like make your entire family hate you?“ Ivan's smile didn't falter, but he visibly tensed.
”Funny, I believe I could say the same thing to you!“
”I don't need my family, that's why I don't hang out with those weird Europeans! But you? Ever since your sisters abandoned you, your- your life has been a trainwreck!” He exclaims, breaking into laughter.
Ivan's smile faltered, and the air in the room became cold. The other nations turned to face the two, fearing the worst already.
“Don't say these things, you know they are not true,” His eyes flicker to you for a moment.
“If that's true, name a single thing that's gone well for you in the last 10- no, fuck, 30 years!”
“Simple, my lovely partner-”
“Yeah, your partner who you spend every waking moment being gross with!” 
Ivan failed to respond to that, his cheeks turning just the slightest bit pink.
“It’s almost like you’re trying to prove that they love you. Which like-” He started laughing again, “We all know you’re just paying them to date y-”
Alfred's speech was cut off as you launched your fist directly into his face.
He pulled back, looking at you in absolute disbelief. When he held a hand to his face again, he found it wet with blood leaking from his nose.
“You-” He started to say.
“Stop being an ass to my boyfriend”
Alfred's drunken face contorted in rage, standing up and immediately towering over you.  
“How- You’re so little- Wh-”
“OK! That's enough everyone! Let's go home now!” Ludwig forced both of you to step back, frantically trying to diffuse the situation.
“Yeah- I- I have to go as well...” Francis added, looking between you and Alfred in panic.
“M-Me too…” Japan sputtered out, already packing his bags.
-
As you and Ivan rode the metro to return to your shared hotel room, you sat in silence. At first, you thought it was because he was upset. With you? With Alfred's comments? You'd learned it was better not to ask.
At least, that's what you thought until you noticed the smile plastered on his face. Despite that, he failed to say barely anything the entire time.
That was until you two stepped onto the station platform, when he turned to you and said softly, “Thank you, my dear.”
“For... punching your friend?”
”Of course. What else?“
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dailycass-cain · 2 months
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Detective Comics #1082 featured a SURPRISE Cass appearance, but a welcome one always to have. So here are my thoughts on the Cass's showing in that.
I mean every issue of Ram V's Detective Comics is a treat, and this one is no different (even with the guest star that I just LOVE to talk daily about).
Like there are layers to the tale he weaves that not only continue threads from past Batman writers but does his own thing.
Weaving and spinning a story that feels like a natural progression of what was already told by others.
Bruce feels human here than say other comics which "try" to tell it through his thoughts, but man the artist talents have been selling this struggle.
Why the "reward" is all the more "rewarding" because Ram V puts in this "doubt" in prior earlier stories written that, there's that chance Bruce might lose.
I mean we know he won't, but it's that "DOUBT" planted throughout. It makes Bruce relatable.
Speaking of rewards. The B-plot returns us back to Gotham as the Question continues her case as again we see what an Orgham-run Gotham City is like.
How their Reality Machine has wiped the memory of the bat out. HOWEVER…
"The Batman YET haunts Gotham."
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I honestly was expecting Jean-Paul (given he was rocking the AzBats suit when we last left him) but to see Cass the OTHER being Ram V continuing the crusade of the bat?
SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!
ahem
I mean logically, I wonder where everyone else is. Dick. Babs. Jim. I know eventually we'll see. But to see Cass still as we lost saw her in 2023 fighting the Orgham and keeping the SYMBOL alive in Gotham?
I mean there's a certain POETRY at hand here as we have two bat suits that basically filled in for Bruce when he was away. Either due to being broken in Knightfall (Jean-Paul)--
--or trying via means as Bruce Wayne to get the government to lift Gotham from being labeled a "No Man's Land" (Cass's costume which Helena Bertinelli used to continue Bruce's crusade).
It's so SATISFYING to see these elements incorporated here. Just now, it's Cass continuing the crusade and making sure Gotham REMEMBERS the bat.
Because it is a characteristic trait that other than Bruce, Cass is one of the few who just understands WHY the bat symbol carries so much.
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This exact DRIVE within her, is why she is just BUILT different than most folk in Gotham. Heck Renee struggles with the Realty Machine in places in her story.
Trying to remember what was lost.
Yet, we see Cass like she was ripped from when Jorge Corona drew her in Batgirls (very nicely done there whoever drew her like that). As described in the very comic, "a wraith."
It's that answer Cass gives Renee on HOW she's able to resist. The answer again showcases how Bruce/Cass are just so similar. People wonder why Cass is Bruce's heir to being to him as Batman?
Ram V is giving that answer to modern readers.
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This "answer" is not new, I find it akin to what Andersen Gabrych came to in his run of Batgirl Vol. 1. Just not as restricting of characterization with Ben Turner who pointed this fact out, and kneeling.
That Cass was going down this path after taking a life, and saying NO to a life of being a killer. That she chose to use the tools forced onto her to become something else.
I think if we ever get time to see the "lost" era of years when Cass rejected her father and hadn't met Barbara Gordon.
I think Ram V would be a fascinating writer to do this. Will he? Oh, I wish! This year would be PERFECT for it for sure.
It's a "gap" that I feel a writer SHOULD farm. Cause I really don't want Gabrych being the only OTHER than Kelly Puckett himself. I feel the period is ripe to showcase how "bat" she was before becoming one.
Though ironically, it isn't lost upon anyone seeing the heir to Vic Sage and well the daughter of a certain someone.
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Again, the themes and poetry of what was told in the past. Just with new layers put in. This "interlude" makes me hunger for a Question tale with Renee and Cass being teaching her like Shiva taught Vic.
If not, well we got that here. Somewhere. Someplace both Vic and Shiva smirked at what occurred in this issue. Renee/Cass doing both proud.
I could gush all day and night on this issue. This was something that was TRULY needed. Or at least told again. To remind folks why Cass is different than Jason, Steph, Tim, Duke, and even Damian.
This issue felt like a 25th-anniversary gift Ram V gave to Cass fans. Even though we have 0 official stuff (we could use some DC).
Cass's portion of Tec #1082 felt like a celebration of why the character has lingered so long.
So thank you to all creatives in this issue. To the writer, artists, inkers, colorist, editors. All involved. 🙏
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