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thed4rkhand · 3 years

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So today we’re doing Yoongi’s chart and my analysis of it. Let me make it clear right off the bat, that since I’m not a professional astrologer, some things may not match up, further since we’re not super sure of his birth time, it’ll definitely affect the reading. What I can be sure of is that I’ll do my best and I’m completely open to constructive criticism from you all!

Now lets get on with some basic stuff, for those who have not yet read the post with Namjoon’s moon analysis, I’ll again reiterate some principles of Vedic astrology! In the scenario that you’re still confused with all this jargon, feel free to reach out and I’ll be more than happy to help you out.

Starting out, we have to note that while western astrology is usually more advisory in nature, Vedic astrology’s main purpose is to predict. Also, we usually go a sign back from western astrology (24’ back to be more precise) in Vedic astrology, so according to that for example, if you’re a libra rising, you become a virgo rising in Vedic astrology and so on and so forth. All planets will also shift back a sign, so a Capricorn Mercury will become a Sagittarius Mercury.

Now let’s be aware that the chart may be a bit different, but given the main d1 (Lagna) chart remains the same for about 2 hours, let’s focus on that and the moon chart (rashi chart) for this reading. We can also just look at d9 for strength but not house placements as that can be time sensitive. So, we can take a two hour margin of time discrepancy and still predict accurately.

For this reading, we have taken 9th March 1993 as the day and 7:30am as the time of birth, with the location set to Daegu.

OTHER THAN THIS, LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO DO A BIRTH TIME RECTIFICATION FOR YOONGI LATER ON SO WE CAN GET MORE ACCURATE PREDICTIONS.

Since this is a general chart analysis, we shall be covering topics briefly and discussing the moon, ascendant and sun. For an in depth reading, do pick a smaller and focussed topic as we can honestly keep going on and on about a chart.

THIS READING WILL BE DONE IN SEVERAL 4 PARTS, FOLLOWING THE ASCENDANT, MOON, SUN AND MISCELLANEOUS.

Lets get started then-

Right off the bat, we can see that Yoongi is born into Pisces, with his ascendant at 10’35’, within the Nakshatra of Uttarabhadprada, within the 3rd quadrant or pada. He has venus situated in the lagna itself, in Pisces, thus exalted. His lagna lord, Jupiter, is in the 7th house, conjuct with the Moon, in the sign of virgo, where jupiter gains the upper hand despite mercury (lord of virgo) being enemies. The lord is directly aspected by mars in the fourth house. The lord of the birth Nakshatra is Saturn here, which sits in the 12th house, conjunct sun and mercury (dispositer of the ascendant lord). Lastly, moon, jupiter and rahu aspect the lagna of this chart. Of course there is so so much more here, but we’ve got a whole chart to cover!

(p.s I can already see this is such a fun chart to read)

Getting on with the reading, we firstly see that he’s born under Pisces lagna, this makes the native calm and collected, as well as fond of philosophy and psychology. What we often forget is, people born under Pisces are said to have been born under all the other signs in their past life, and cumulatively they use their skills and knowledge from those lives in their current one. Remember how on Bon Voyage trips and just about every RunBts, saga seems like the ‘dad’ of the bunch? cooking, cleaning, fixing stuff Joon broke, producing music and the stuff? And all those times that he is so very understanding of other? He doesn’t scold Jungkook, let alone anyone else? These are typical Pisces traits. They’re very domestic and understanding by nature, because they’ve been there before in a past life, and enjoy taking care of people.

The downside to this? They can be extremely manipulative if they want to be, they know exactly what to say, when to say, to whom to say and so on. They have an alarming grip on people’s emotions, and have a magnetic quality to them. Further, this is mostly an observation, you’ll often notice that most pisces natives are fond of alcohol (could be because they exist in a water sign? Could be because its the natural 12th house ruler of addictions too?)

Coming to the Nakshatra here, we have UttaraBhadrapada, the second last Nakshatra of the series. This Nakshatra is ruled by Saturn, and the presiding deity being Ananta or Ahir Budhyana, the deep ocean serpent in hindu mythology. The deity Ananta represents boundless expansion, be it of fortune, goodwill or knowledge. Ahir Budhyana, is a sattvic (sacred or untainted) form of lord Shiv, and resides at he bottom of the ocean. He represents the liberation from illusions and attainment of spiritual enlightenment and knowledge. The natives of this Nakshatra here embody these qualities of their deities. We see them as philanthropic and reserved beings, who enjoy learning about a variety of subjects and spirituality. Such people are extremely progressive in their thinking patterns, and often a magnetic pull like the deep ocean serpent has.

They’re extremely controlled and calculating in their approach, and think more than speak. This by no means is to say that they don’t speak, because such people are great orators by nature. They stand up for the underdogs and have a unique approach to topics. They are extremely interested in occult and metaphysical practices and theories. They however commonly don’t obtain higher education or do well in fields of fine arts, even their primary education is not something they excel at. (i once read that yoongi really likes reading about a variety of subjects, and also Paulo Coelho, definitely his UttaraBhadrapada here)

The bad side to this Nakshatra? They’re very critical and over-analyze everything and everyone. Sometimes, even unconsciously, they manipulate people to suit their needs and whims. They get side tracked too often and have difficulty focussing on one task at hand, often amounting to laziness in other people’s eyes, even if the native is extremely hardworking in reality. However when in comes to personal care, they tend to do things in a very half-hearted manner. These people are also prone to isolating themselves from others, especially when things get hard. Due to the sign falling in pisces here, people also tend to have many different mental burdens and disorders, which arise from their constant scatter-brained self and inability to make out between the spiritual and real realms.

They can also be heavy drinkers and abuse substances in such a Nakshatra, or enjoy partaking in occult practices while under influences. They might’ve also faced a very rough childhood with such a Nakshatra, neglected and misunderstood by people around him. The natives could also have moved away from their parents during their early adulthood for education or job purposes. Such people can have health issues like hemorrhoids, stomach ailments and hernias. Usually they lead a stable period full of health and success in the latter part of life, say about after 48 years(since the south node Ketu matures as 48).

Since Suga’s Nakshatra falls into the third pada or quadrant, its ruled by libra here. Libra here focusses on balance and cooperation. Such people may make a living working with other people, or in industries related to entertainment. They may make great debaters, and think excessively about what other think of them as. They’re very conscious of other’s opinion, even if they don’t show it, so we often find such people wearing extremely covered up and baggy clothes for example, or keeping a low profile. They may have a very practical and unbiased approach to most things in life. Such people are intensely into spiritual practices and often times fully devote themselves at hours at a time to worship of gods, angel or other beings. They may be the type to attract people very easily, or even be the kind to fall in love extremely easily.

The second placement we come to, is Venus in the first house, in Pisces. Venus here is naturally exalted (most powerful). Sure ill give you the generic explanation in a bit but, do you know which type of people usually have this placement? Actual saints and famed occultists. Sure many people within the entertainment industry too, but this placement can hands down be one of the most spiritual and divine placements of Venus in the chart. First ill go ahead and give the normal meaning and effect, and then lets dive into the crazy stuff (istg his chart is so goooood). Such people usually have really magnetic personalities, and given Venus is in Uttarabhadrapa, these are the people who you don’t notice at first, but then its like a whirlpool of being invested in them, as opposed to being in Revati Nakshatra (another Piscean nakshatra) which would be a more dramatic pull, based off an extroverted personality. These people can be very good looking, more feminine looking, could definitely look like their mothers with this position. Brilliant luck in fields of arts and entertainment and also genius level of creativity and talent. Here, people can have brilliant luck too, like god’s hand on their head kind. Accumulation of wealth and property can also be seen here.

Now onto the really fun stuff. These people are actually rarely concerned with someone’s exterior, because often times such people have such good intuition and spiritual powers (some are literally called mystics because of this), they can literally see through someone. For this reason, they actually don’t like associating with too many people, despite having a very charming personality. These are the kind of people that keep searching for ‘the one’. These people often give up everything and go ahead and become priests. The calling to god with such a placement is very strong. They also don’t like collecting too many material possessions, as they feel its redundancy in this very changing world. These people hold the few people they’re close to, very very tightly to themselves. These people also may have a very low sexual drive actually, (i know, I know, how can a strong Venus do this?) because an exalted Venus is about devotion to god, to one person, and leaving sensory pleasures behind in life. A debilitated Venus on the other hand (eg. Jungkook has one) might make someone very invested in worldly matters. These people are happy with being alone and single for a long time, they’re very satisfied with their own company. Such placements can make someone practice magick or astral projection too. (Venus in 12th sign of liberation, liberation from physical body)

Given that in this chart, Venus is his 3rd and 8th lord, we can make further deductions. Firstly, since 3rd lord is going 11 houses away, its an extremely auspicious placement here. Self made person, making wealth through communication, can also have very witty and intelligent responses to things. Since the third house also represents courage and valor, this can make someone very fearless and say whats on their mind bluntly. Since the 3rd house is part of the Kama Trikon houses (houses of desire), this going into the 1st house, which is a part of the Dharma Trikon houses (houses of morality), gives interesting results here. Firstly, such people are fiercely independent, and hate to be disrupted when there pursuing their goals and working towards them. They hate to take help from anyone, and as a result are extremely competent. secondly, such people have a moral high ground, to which they religiously abide. They’re extremely righteous and stand up for those who wouldn’t be able to for themselves. Since from here, it aspects the 7th house of agreements, such people are great at understanding and signing contracts for work.

Now with the 8th house, we have a bit of a conundrum here honestly. It belongs to 2 types of houses, the moksha trikona houses (houses of salvation) as well as the Dushtana houses (evil houses). While this placement isn’t all that bad, it isn’t he best either. firstly though, this is a placement where the native always wins over their enemies (8th lord 6 houses away from itself), be it enemies as in people, or simply obstacles in their life. This also confers a long lifespan to people, given that his 8th lord is also exalted here. However such people are prone to accidents, given that the 1st house is the body, 8th house is sudden events and the natural 8th ruler mars is a karka or signifactor of vehicles. Such people are also against organized forms of religions, since the Dushtana lord is sitting in a dharma house. The native is also extremely private and secretive given the 1st house of self has the 8th lord of secrets sitting in it. Since it also aspects the 7th house of other people, this person has that aura of mystery about them because of this. Such people are deeply critical in nature but can have extreme wisdom in cases of hidden objects or matters of the occult.

Now coming to his aspects. His Venus is aspected by moon, Jupiter and Rahu. The first two are benefic in nature and the latter is malefic. Moon-Venus and Jupiter-Venus are also mutually aspecting each other in pairs here. Moon here gives Venus the property of being constantly cynical of themselves regards to what others may perceive them as, given moon is emotion and the 7th house here is other people. Their thoughts here are deeply influenced by other people, they may always keep serving other people too, through acts of service. This also makes someone who falls in love very easily, but it is important to engage this person’s mind in a relationship, they just cant do without an emotional bond here. Since Moon also represents fame in a chart, this makes a person very famous, as they receive attention from many people, and people want to analyze them, and enjoy their work and presence.

Jupiter here, makes the person level headed and practical. The person wouldn’t be all touchy feely with people they like, because they would like to remain more in control of the situation here. They’d rather engage in a full blown debate with someone, than hold hands. This also makes them very worldly and teacher like, while also being attracted to very worldly people themselves.

Rahu’s aspect on the other hand, makes someone stand out in a crowd (Rahu signifies an outcast), they may have a rough and cold exterior due to this. They may also have had issues with body image (1st house is self), or mental health here. These people are enamored by all things foreign, and love exploring the other cultures. They may have issues identifying with their own community at large, and may identify with the downtrodden of the society.

Now going to Jupiter and moon conjunction in the 7th house. I wont go very deep into this, as its a super interesting concept, and it’ll be better covered in the second part of the reading regarding the moon itself, so ill keep it short and related to the ascendant. Also the mutual aspect part will be explained in more detail in the miscellaneous section later. Plus this is getting far too long for even me now.

Getting on with the reading for now, moon and Jupiter here are in virgo, in a loose conjunction (one is at approximately 2’ and the other at 18’). This is actually one of the not very yogas (combinations)in a chart, about 15% of people have these. Its called the Gaj-Kesari yoga (the elephant and lion combination), because people with this are so extremely lucky, its like the kings of the jungle are together to support it. They have the wisdom of the elephant and the courage of a lion. This is a raj yoga (royal combination). a native born with Gaj-Kesari Yoga is intelligent, strong, and prosperous. Gaj or Elephant possesses immense strength and is devoid of pride and the Lion is known for his foresight and skillful intelligence as well as his strength, quickness, skillful leadership, ability and courage. Thus, when Gaj-Kesari Yoga is formed then that person is extremely successful. They will be a kind and philanthropic person, who will always have sympathy for others. They will be quite humble regarding work, would like to talk nicely to people and aim to attain spiritual progress in life. Many people will recognize them as their mentor or guide and will act according to their instructions or advice. They may have a tendency attracting people and people being magnetized by them. They will be blessed with abundant wealth and become the owner of movable and immovable property(cars as well as homes). They will establish relationships with rich and reputed people of the society and enjoy all kinds of material pleasures in life.

Since this occurs in virgo, it makes a person intelligent, sharp and gifts them with amazing memory power. Such a person is knowledgeable and can become the head of a large educational institution. He may own incomparable wealth and can earn a good name and money from business as well. Often such people earn a high reputation in the Stock Market and make progress in life by working in any financial institution or insurance sectors.

Here jupiter in particular makes someone extremely cynical in nature, and their mind is always, and I mean always, thinking about romantic relationships or platonic ones. However given that jupiter is also the 10th lord here, they could be extremely focused on work too. Their life is surrounded by contracts, and may work with others for a living(7th house is house of courts and partnership). They could be very interested in the financial sector here, they could be extremely money minded and money means stability to them. Moon here on the other hand makes the person very moody, and extremely dependent on their spouse or colleagues. Since it rules the fifth house here, it signifies that such people are extremely creative in their work, may work for children or young adults, have a lot of past life karma related to work, and also that they’re extremely devoted lovers. They tend to criticize their close friends and loved ones, just because they’re so cynical and blunt, and want the absolute best for people. They may hurt people’s feeling without realizing it sometimes. (this was very brief but refer to point 12)

Now coming to Saturn in 12th, as the lord of the birth nakshatra. Saturn over here signifies working in the fields of music, but given saturn represents electronics, it could mean a producer too. Since its in Aquarius here, a sign of dual lordship, this resents a constant up and down of mood and life spirit. The person with such a placement is confused with what truly makes them happy in life, the spiritual realm or the materialistic realm. They keep going up and down the path of being spiritual, till 36 years (saturn matters at 36). They may face a lot of mental disorders here. They may have trouble sleeping at night. Given saturn is also work, they may earn through foreign sources in life. Such a person invests money into properties (saturn is houses) and lacks liquid cash. The person may have a weak left eye (12th house is left eye). They may earn from multiple sources in life, and have multiple talents. Such people have low sex drives as saturn is a dry eunuch planet, and in the 12th house of bed pleasures, it may not allow native to enjoy it. They may not be interested in worldly pleasures with such placements.

Lastly (finally?), we have to discuss the looks! Pisces ascendents usually have the short to medium height, and tend to appear a little fuller even when they’re very scrawny. (its because jupiter is the largest planet). Uttarabhadrapada natives tend to have a very innocent look to them, a very calming nature and vibe. however, like the deep sea serpant, they have very deep and magnetic eyes, and a very expressive face (yoongi memes). They usually have a very beautiful smile, and can literally attract people with it (again the snake like quality). They tend to have a very blank look usually, and if you ever notice, they’ll have the most stunning eyelashes actually, given the yoni is the female cow. They might also have the habit of moving their mouth around when their thinking, quite like ruminating.

Given venus sits here, is gives the person very attractive, effeminate features. Think extremely renaissance type of soft features. It can give them very delicate hands and feet with such a placement. The moon aspect here, gives them a rounded face and pale skin. They might have sparkly eyes and a roundish appearance here, also the tendency to gain weight around their face, with short necks. They make also look much younger than their actual age.The jupiter aspect again makes the native very other worldly looking, almost like you can imagine them in a dark robe literally performing rituals. It gives people a calm and teacher type of vibe to them. The rahu aspect usually just blows qualities out of proportion. Have you seen how small and angelic suga looks compared to the other? (not saying they’re not angelic but still), thats the rahu aspect. Again, rahu aspects only get better with time.

So this was my analysis! If anyone has any questions or doubts, hit me up! Let me know if you enjoyed it!

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veliseraptor · 3 years

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been a bit since 150 words meme and since I’m having a fuck of a time focusing and self-motivating still apparently...well, external help it is

send me up to three of the numbers below and I’ll write 150 words in the designated project

1. “You have a very dim view of the world,” Xiao Xingchen said.

“I’m right about it.”

“Hm,” Xiao Xingchen said, and then, “I suppose it doesn’t change anything that I saved your life.”

“That’s you,” Xue Yang said bluntly. “And if you’d known who I was right off, don’t pretend you wouldn’t’ve left me right there.”

Xiao Xingchen’s expression flickered, then steadied. “I did know,” he said. “I brought you here anyway.” (the backyard is full of bones)

2. He fumbled to get the door open and bolted. He didn’t stop until he was on the sidewalk outside, breathing in deep gulps of night air. His heart was pounding and there were weird shivers running up and down his spine, like chills from a fever.

He made it halfway home on the bus before his head started to clear, though even then he still felt shaky and strange, a little like he’d just been sick, or fainted. That was also when he realized that he’d left his coat on the floor of Xue Yang’s apartment. Xue Yang’s apartment, which he’d just run out of, like an idiot, after a blowjob and a handjob.

He put his face in his hands only to discover that his fingers still smelled like sex. (Redux)

3. His injuries were not minor. If Xiao Xingchen hadn’t found him when he had, within the day he probably would have died. He wasn’t at risk of that anymore, but the damage to his leg had cut through the muscle almost to the bone, the stab wound through his shoulder had only narrowly missed piercing anything life-threatening or crippling, and at least four of his ribs were broken from what, as far as Xiao Xingchen could tell, a truly brutal beating.

“Oh, yeah,” the stranger said casually, when he asked. “Pretty spectacular. You’d think I’d dishonored their mothers, or something, how hard they were going at it.”

He sounded almost amused. As though it was something funny.

(Xiao Xingchen didn’t find it entertaining at all. He knew that some people dealt with their pain by making light of it, but it still seemed wrong to be quite so cavalier about an attempt on your life.) (Bedrest)

4. “You killed the Chang Clan,” she said. Swallowed, and added, “all of them.” If she thought about that too much it made her feel sick and shivery, so she didn’t. It was cowardice, but it was a cowardice she allowed herself.

“Yeah,” Xue Yang said. “Everyone there, anyway, I guess one of them survived.” And now his voice was a little different, too. A little harder, a little colder. Still casual, though, as if he was indifferent to all that death.

“Why?”

It was like watching a door close behind his eyes, rendering them suddenly opaque. The curve of his mouth dropped out of a smile and then pulled back into one that was sharper, meaner.

“He asked that too,” Xue Yang said. “Your didi.”

Jiang Yanli didn’t think she needed to ask which. “He did?”

“Mmhm. Only one. Thought that was kind of funny that no one else was even a little curious.” He laughed, sharp like his smile, and Jiang Yanli felt a little as though she was swimming in a lake full of things with very sharp teeth. (this world is gonna break your heart)

5. He did end up having to listen to Xue Yang loudly and thoroughly working Xiao Xingchen over until close to midnight, and couldn’t decide if he was being teased or being punished.

“Hope we didn’t keep you up,” Xue Yang said the next morning, with a shark’s grin as Xiao Xingchen quickly tried to bury his face in his mug, and Song Lan decided it was almost certainly teased. (heel, stay)

6. Xue Yang cracked his neck to one side and paused, curling one hand around the pouch that held Xiao Xingchen, suddenly wondering if there was any chance that being around this much saturated resentment might be bad for him.

No. He should be well insulated where he was. Safe.

Shaking off the brief prickles of unease, Xue Yang moved on. The ground here had been cleared, sort of, but he didn’t have to look far to see the places where bones still lay barely covered by thin grass and brambles. (a symphony for the departed)

7. The evil thing was going to bring Xiao Xingchen back.

That was what he said, anyway. A-Qing knew it was something he could do, hypothetically. I’ve done it before, he said. I’ve raised plenty of corpses and one conscious one so there’s no reason I can’t do it again.

She should run. Xiao Xingchen had wanted her to. But Xiao Xingchen was gone and her only chance of getting him back, maybe, was the bastard himself. Xue Yang. (the people are gone and the place is empty)

8. Song Lan gestured at Xue Yang’s right shoulder. Xue Yang let out a bark of laughter. “Are you asking if I’m okay? That’s sweet.”

Song Lan felt his face twitch and controlled it before it turned into a scowl. He stared at Xue Yang, waiting, hoping that he would read it - correctly - as his expecting a response.

“I’m fine,” Xue Yang said, tone turning snappish. “I’ve taken worse than one angry fierce corpse throwing me around a little.”

Song Lan felt a strange twist of discomfort. For a split second it crept into his mind that Xue Yang was badly wounded and functionally his prisoner. He was still dangerous, even with their tentative truce Song Lan didn’t trust him.

But Xue Yang had just helped him, even if it was his fault Song Lan needed it in the first place. There is punishment, and there is cruelty.

What would Xingchen think to see you now?

The pang of guilt was gone even more swiftly than it had appeared, though it left a sour aftertaste. (Walking Far From Home)

9. He moved back to give Xiao Xingchen a little space - he’d probably wake up upset, after all, and Xue Yang didn’t want him to do anything he’d feel bad about later. Sat down at the table, folded his arms and rested his chin on them, settling in to wait. His eyes fixed on Xiao Xingchen’s chest moving up-down, up-down.

It’d been a near miss. He hadn’t expected Xiao Xingchen would pull something that stupid.

But it’d worked out okay. And everything would be fine now. (xxc survives and it isn’t fine)

10. “What’s your name?” he asked, a sudden shiver of fear running through him. “I don’t remember-”

“Yeah, that’d be because I never told you,” his friend’s voice said after a very brief pause.

“You didn’t?” Xiao Xingchen said. That seemed odd. Wouldn’t he have asked? He supposed if someone had been reluctant to tell him then he wouldn’t want to press - but if they were friends…

“It’d be great,” his friend said after a more lengthy pause, “if you told me that you were playing dumb about now.”

“I’m not,” Xiao Xingchen said immediately, though his stomach was sinking.

“Yeah,” his friend said. “I figured. Unfortunately. Fuck.” (xiao xingchen + concussion)

11. “I told you,” Lan Wangji said. “I would give you rest.”

“Enlightenment,” Wei Ying sneered, and laughed, high and cold. “It’s always the same story with you, isn’t it? ‘Come back to Gusu, Wei Ying. Let me play music for you, Wei Ying. Let me fix you.’”

The mockery stung him more than he expected. He had told himself that he’d be prepared for cruelty, but hearing it aloud in Wei Ying’s voice, however altered, however much he knew that angry ghosts were not the same as the people they had been in life–

It cut toward the heart of his own regrets. What he knew of his own shortcomings, meticulously catalogued over three years in an icy cave, and now spat back at him from the person he’d failed. (the fair and the brave and the good must die)

#meme #fic excerpt #hit me y'all #i've got a long bus ride on friday to write on #(...hopefully)

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jjstew22 · 3 years

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ANYWAY

Whose up for the Bryan Beneventi playlist???

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2xfdT72LpA5DG1UNROjOep?si=04f1834033174ebd

I'll update this post for descriptions behind each song, but I figured I'd get it out there now.

1# Gimme Shelter- Rolling Stones

I chose this song first as it takes place after Bryan's first tour. He is experiencing the disillusionment of war and this is about where we see him in episode 11.

#2 Bennie and the Jets - Elton John

This is when Bryan meets Asalah. I also liked this song because it is about the superficiality of the music industry. At the same time it can work as a way to demonstrate how Bryan feels superficial with his role in the world. He has been battered by his tutors in Afganistan and can only see himself as a soldier and a stranger in these lands.

#3 Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

This obviously after Asalah's death. I don't imagine Bryan's stay to be so peachy as Elvis's song, but I also don't suppose Bryan likes to really think much of his time in prison. He would rather gloss over it, and dance around his experience. The flippant nature of this song signifies this desire to change the subject and forget.

#4 Hurt- Johnny Cash

I'm not too sure if Bryan is a Cash man. He likes Elvis so why not! Hurt is the lowest that Bryan has felt. He is near hopeless and is full of regret and sorrow for the death of Asalah. The last lines of the song signify how Maddox reached out his hand and saved Bryan from his lifetime of Hurt.

#5 Rocket Man - Elton John

To me, Rocket Man is a song about isolation. Bryan, despite having a new chance at life feels quite alone. I am reminded of the remark he makes in the pilot, how Finola is the first person to see him as a human in a long time. Before meeting her, for Bryan, being a rocket man was just a 9 to 5.

#6 Superstition- Stevie Wonder

Speaking about Finola... I figure I would change the genre for her entry. Finola is like no one Bryan has met previously. She is curious and believes that the debris is here for a reason. Bryan can't wrap his head around her reasoning, and yet there is something that draws him to this new partnership.

#7 Tv Dinners - ZZ Top

It wouldn't be a Bryan playlist without food would it? His appetite and iron stomach have no match, whether it be three-week-old sandwiches or chicken with blue sauce, the man will eat it all.

#8 Cotton Candy Land - Elvis Presley

Another food song? Well, you always gotta save room for dessert, and Bryan Beneventi has a massive sweet tooth. I couldn't pass up this song by the King, just as Bryan can't pass up second helpings.

#9 Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

This is where Bryan realizes that he and Finola are being played and makes the decision to save George Jones. Bryan realizes that Finola is the one and only person he can put his trust in. Life is getting harder, but he'd rather be stuck in the middle with no one else other than Finola Jones.

#10 Take Me To The Pilot- Elton John

This song and the next take place during "Do You Know Icarus" Bryan is still dealing with his betrayal to Maddox, but it is overshadowed by a new problem. He is far-flung into a reality that he does not belong in, and he is trying to find a way back home. Like the nonsensical lyrics of this song, Bryan can't make heads or tails of his situation.

#11 Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd

"You."

Bryan has lost Finola, his partner, his friend, and his anchor. He is scared and alone and realizes just how lonely he is without Finola. It is as if a part of his soul has been taken from him, but it took until now to realize that she made such a difference in his life.

#12 Fire and Rain - James Taylor

This is the second half of the two-parter. Despite all odds and his prior hardships, Bryan just is beginning to have hope. A hope that stems from the wonderment and the force of personality that is Finola. He had hope that his partner, despite not meeting him in this reality, would solve the problem and that he would see her again.

#13 Space Oddity- David Bowie

This song encompasses both Asalah and A Message From Ground Control. Bryan is has been enlightened by the Ball of Light. This freeing experience has left him with a sort of peace and acceptance that he has been denying himself. He believes for the first time and is awash in a new sense of being. In Space Oddity, Major Tom floats away from Earth, he accepts his fate. Byan accepts that the Debris has a bigger plan, and despite feeling so alone from the events of Asalah, he reaches out a hand and takes a chance.

#14 Who Are You - The Who

The finale left us with many questions. Hopefully one day we will get them answered. Maybe not? Bryan was probably left thinking the same thing we were about Otto "Who the fuck are you?"

Regardless it was a fun ride, and I am thankful for this show because it inspired me to do something fun and creative.

See you around Nachos!!!!

#debris #nbc debris #bryan beneventi

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httpsfelicity · 4 years

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“In a black dress, she’s such an actress” - Harry Styles × Model Reader AU (Part 2/?)

Summary - Harry meets a model downtown and falls for her quickly, leading the public to think that it’s a pr stunt. Unsure of what to think, the reader plays along, not knowing that Harry is unaware of the rumours.

For @cruizmanadu, @stephaniemalvie!, @kissessfordraco Xx

A/N - Part two! Thank you sooo much for the feedback on part one, I never expected it! Glad you guys like it so far. If you haven’t read part one, click here x Once again, if you’d like a part 3 / have suggestions / ect, just send a DM or ask! Here you go babessss :)

Harry Styles: Hi

Y/n <3: Hi

Harry Styles: Why are you awake, it’s 3am?

Y/n <3: I could ask you the same thing, you messaged me first!

Harry Styles: You’re right. What’s up?

Y/n <3: Watching TV, you?

Harry Styles: Not much. Listening to The Beatles, y’know, normal night things.

Y/n <3: Never really got around to listening to them personally

Harry Styles: Omg reported and BLOCKED.

Y/n <3: Omg noooooo come back

Harry Styles: Kiddinggggggg, but I have to make you listen to one of their albums sometime

Harry Styles: Are you free tomorrow?

Y/n <3: I have a shoot all day. I’m free the next day tho

Harry Styles: We could maybe do something then? The park?

Harry Styles: Unless you have a better idea, of course

Y/n <3: No that sounds great! What time?

Harry Styles: 7?

Y/n <3: Sure! :)

Harry Styles: Now, GO TO SLEEP!

Y/n <3: Only if you do!

Harry Styles: Okayyyy, goodnight!

Y/n <3: Goodnight!

Seen: 3:14am

As you crawled into bed, a feeling of satisfaction spread through you. He wanted to spend more time with you - that ought to be a good sign, right? “Maybe this could work out, after all,” was the last thing you thought before you fell asleep.

The next day was the usual whirlwind of events that occurred every shoot day - wake up early, take a cab over to the location (That particular day’s mystery place happened to be an old art studio), take another cab with some assigned lady to get you ready, another cab back to the location, then a whole day of photos. It was all a blur to you, so when the head of the whole operation thanked you at the end of the day, you were glad it was all over. Of course you adored your job, but considering the amount of sleep you’d gotten last night (Which, by the way, you did not regret one bit) you were thankful that in 45 minutes you’d be fast asleep.

What you did not expect, however, was for that little power nap to turn into a full 14 hours. By the time you woke up the next day, it was the crack of 11am. You sat up frantically, taking in your surroundings. You were still wearing your street clothes - jeans and a blouse - and a quick glance in the mirror revealed you hadn’t taken off your extravagant makeup, either. Trust me, it was not a pretty sight. You scrambled for your phone, and aside from all of the usual twitter notifications, DM requests, and messages from Ella and Harry (Which you were over the moon about), you noticed that you had 4 missed calls. From, none other than Harry.

You quickly clicked on his contact and dialed up his number. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hi!” He said cheerfully.

“Hey,” you laughed. “Why did you call me? Four times, to be exact?”

“Just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight. But then I got worried when you didn’t answer, so I called again to make sure everything was alright.”

“And again, and again.”

“Correct,” he laughed.

“Rough photoshoot. I was exhausted, and it wasn’t all that exciting. By the time I got home, I was asleep. Literally. I slept for 14 hours straight.”

Harry laughed so hard on the other end that you had to move your phone away from your ear for a couple of seconds so he could calm down. “Oh, wow, I... well, I guess it’s not that funny. That’s awful. You should’ve gotten more sleep the night before!”

“I would’ve, but somebody just had to message me at 3am!”

Cue another round of laughter. “Oh my god... look, I’m sorry, I really am! I didn’t know you had to wake up so early. I won’t message you so late into the night anymore, I promise.”

“Don’t promise that! I quite liked it. Besides, all of those shoots are the same. Nothing worth remembering, if you ask me.”

“Alright, alright, fine. But are we still on for later? If you’re still tired, we can reschedule...”

“No! After twice the amount of sleep I usually get, I feel like I could run a marathon. Seven?”

“Yup.”

“Okay. Gives me enough time to adjust myself to reality.”

This sent both of them into bouts of laughter.

“Alright, well, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you then?”

“You’ve got it! Bye!”

“Bye! And for the love of god try not to fall asleep this time, yeah?” He cracked himself up.

“I’ll try!” You replied as you hung up. You sighed, smiled, and then leaned against your headboard, though not for long. You had things to do - number one, get a shower.

Flash forward a few hours, and you were all set. You were wearing a pair of jeans and a blouse, similar to yesterday’s outfits, just with less smeared makeup and bedhead. You had even managed to listen to a few albums while you were doing your hair. You quickly ate a salad for supper, confirmed the meeting spot with Harry, then headed out the door.

You arrived 10 minutes early, and to your surprise, Harry was already there again.

“How did you get here before me?” You laughed as you walked up to him. “I left even earlier than last time, specifically to race you!”

“Oh, I have my ways,” he grinned. “So, would you like to know what I have planned?”

“Enlighten me,” you prompted as you began walking past the bushes and flowerbeds with him, admiring his bold, light purple flared pants and white top.

“Well, first we walk through the park. Then, I have a reservation booked for La Sedbe Hyudge. If that sounds okay to you, that is.”

La Sedbe Hyudge was one of the most exclusive clubs in New York. Reservations were crazy expensive, and that’s not including the price of the food and drinks.

“Oh, Harry, you really didn’t ha-”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. The reservation’s already made; there’s no turning back now,” he laughed.

You laughed along with him. “Well, we can just split the final bill.”

“No,”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it!”

You sighed. “Okay,” you finally agreed. “Well, anyways, tonight sounds like it will be great fun. Thank you.”

Harry nodded, looking around. You had to admit it, the scenery of the park was very nice. The gardener(s) here must be paid awfully well.

“So, I listened to Fine Line.”

Harry perked up. “Oh?”

“It was - and I’m not just saying this because I li- we’re friends - but it was incredible. I’ve never heard anything like it.”

Harry was trying to hide his smile, but he was failing miserably. “Well, that’s good,” he concluded nonchalantly.

“No, really! I have Golden stuck in my head. It’s beautiful. And don’t even get me started on Lights Up.”

“You didn’t see the music video, did you?”

“..Yeah?”

“Oh, wow.”

“It was ARTSY!” You laughed, Harry clearly getting embarrassed. “No, in all honestly, it was great.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that,” he smiled. “I wish I could say the same to you, but you don’t sing, obviously.”

“Not my forte, honestly. I was in choir in elementary, but that’s pretty much it. Never really had any interest in the preforming arts. No offense.”

“None taken. I’ve always liked singing, but I didn’t think I’d pursue it as a career. I was very happy at my old job, thank you very much.”

“What was your old job?”

“...”

“I used to work in a bakery.”

“No way!” “That’s adorable,” you thought as the two of you rounded a corner of the path.

“Yes way! Not to brag, but I was very good at making cinnamon rolls.”

“Now, isn’t that something.”

“That’s not all - macaroons.”

“Oh my god, marry me.”

You continued goofing off for the rest of the walk. You talked about Netflix shows and whether Summer or Winter was the superior season in the taxi, and the best way to make Kraft dinner on the sidewalk. By the time you walked into the restaurant and sat down, you were discussing the importance of a good facemask.

“I don’t know. I just can’t believe you do them.”

“I can’t believe you don’t.”

“Why should I?”

“Do you want me to go over the health benefits again?”

You sighed. “No. I just do not have the patience.”

“For me to explain it again or facemasks in general?”

You smiled. “Both.”

Harry laughed rather loudly, gaining a few odd looks from some stuck-up diners. “You’re lucky you’re cute, y/n.”

Before you could respond, a waiter walked over to your table. “And what could I get for the couple this evening?” He asked.

You and Harry looked at eachother and tried to supress laughter.

“Well, I don’t know about my husband here,” you start, looking over at Harry with a grin. He’s staring back at you and you are positive that he’s gonna blow it at any second, but you decide to keep going, “But I’ll have a glass of red wine.”

“Whatever you want, dear, so I guess I’m driving,” Harry shrugged. “I will have water, please.”

The waiter nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as he was out of earshot, the two of you burst out laughing.

“That.. was.... amazing!” Said Harry between laughs.

“I know right!” You agreed. “We have to keep it going all night.”

“YES,” he nodded as a group of teenage girls walked past the table, also laughing uncontrollably.

Then, the waiter returned. “For the lady,” he said as he placed down a glass of wine. You immediately picked it up and took a sip.

“For the main course, I’ll have the steak, please,” said Harry in his very-best fancy voice.

“I too,” you said, giggling and taking another sip.

The waiter nodded and headed back to the kitchen. The two of you laughed again.

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your purse. “It’s probably nothing,” you thought, choosing to ignore it. But then it went off again. And again. And again.

“You should probably get that,” said Harry, looking at your bag.

“Nah, it’s probably nothing.”

“Alright. I gotta run to he bathroom, and then I’m gonna order a drink for myself, okay?”

“Okay,” you said as you watched him get up. “Bring me back a glass too!”

You watched him walk over to the mens room. Your phone buzzed. He pushed open the door. Your phone buzzed. The door shut behind him. You reached down and pulled out your phone.

Ella: Oh my god

Ella: Y/n

Ella: Where are you right now

Ella: Are you with anybody?

Ella: ?????

Ella: Y/N

Ella: CHECK UR PHONE

You quickly typed up a response, although you were confused as to why she was so worried all of a sudden.

Y/n: I’m at the Sedbe Hyudge with Harry, why?

Ella: *Sent a set of photos*

Ella: Check twitter for more.

You clicked on the photos. The first was a screenshot of an update account, saying that you and Harry were in the park. Then, another tweet from the same account, saying you were at this restaurant. Then, photos of you in the park. And then, photos of you at the restaurant. Under that were screenshots of twitter users.

@Cocopopstyles: I just want Harry to take me on a date like he does with y/n, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK. They’re TOO CUTE.

@Y/nxxxxstyles: ANOTHER WIN FOR THE SHIPPERS THEY’RE AT THE SEDBE HYUDGE DHHHVDHBDCHUDB YES

@HSDaily: Ew lmfao she’s so ugly PLS

@Stylessssmaple: “I ain’t saying she’s a golddigger, but she ain’t messing with no broke....”

@LaylaHoran: I heard that they were talking to the waiter like they’re an actual couple. A few girls overheard it, idk their @’s tho.

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Really?? Omg that’s pretty quick tbh. Weren’t they first seen together days ago?

@LaylaHoran replying to @LarryStylisonobvs: Yeah apparently. Idk what’s going on. Is she a PR stunt or not???

@LarryStylinsonobvs replying to @LaylaHoran: Not to be a bluegreener but she could be a beard... we’ve gotten so much content from them in the past 72 hours like.... are u gonna tell me there’s no contract in there at all?????

@Y/nsflowers: Y/n looks so good in the new pap photos pLEASE MARRY ME MA’AM.

@Y/L/Nsummertime: Y/n is over lmfao can she please cut the bullshit. Wbk she’s in it for the money. The job, the PR stunts, the boyfriend...

@TheDailyPoolsideNews: Model y/n and ex-boyband star spotted out in the town! Will this be the next Hollywood snoozefest?

There was more, but Harry was already back at the table, carrying two glasses and setting them down, smiling. All of a sudden, you had this really sick feeling. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You took your drink as he sat down. Not wanting to say anything in case it ruined the night, you took a sip and put your phone back in your purse.

“Everything alright?”

You looked up. “Yeah.”

Harry stared at you. You stared back jokingly, trying to break the tension. Harry’s phone started ringing. “Oops,” he frowned, “thought I turned this off...”

“You can take it, it’s okay. I checked my phone before. Plus, I need to use the washroom.”

“Okay,” he smiled as you stood up, smiling back. As you were walking away, you heard him talking to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Hey, Nial- what? No, I am, why-”

You pushed into the womens room and locked yourself in a stall. “What the hell is going on?”

You sit there for a few minutes, trying to collect your thoughts and give Harry some time to finish his conversation. Someone had seen the two of you at the park and in the restaurant, so what? Some people liked you, and some people didn’t. Okay, that’s understandable. Some people hated you. That’s fine, you don’t care. But people still think you and Harry are a PR stunt. This is only your second date! And it’s not eve a date! It’s just a... you put your head in your hands, then sit up, not wanting to smudge your mascara. You reach for your phone, only to remember you left it in your purse, which was currently on the floor next to your chair next to Harry. God.

And, to make matters worse, he had gotten a phonecall and from what you had heard when you were walking away, he sounded worried. Perfect! That was probably his management. Or, better yet, one of his friends doing the same thing Ella had done to you. Suddenly, you jumped up and walked back out to the table. He was fiddling around with his napkin. When he saw you, his face lit up. You didn’t buy it.

“Hi, sorry, it was just one of my friends. He wanted to t-”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you said, politely cutting him off.

Harry was taken back by this, but not for long. He wasn’t fazed easily. “Oh, okay. That’s good. Sorry for taking so long. Oh, and I don’t want this anymore, so if you want it, you can fill yours up. Otherwise, I’m just gonna give it to the waiter when he comes back.”

You never drank too much. You knew three glasses would be awful for you. But you took his and filled yours up, because “I don’t want to waste anything. This place is so expensive.”

Soon after, the waiter dropped off your meals. Harry was speaking less, more unsure of himself than before, but you didn’t notice. You made polite small talk, but it wasn’t like your antics from before. Yet when you were leaving, you did not split the bill. Harry still paid.

When you walked outside, it was dark. You hadn’t expected it. You laughed. Harry laughed. “Let’s wait over here for a taxi, yeah?”

You nodded and followed him. You sat on a bench. Harry messaged somebody. You swung your feet a little. Harry took a call. You stayed seated, watching people walk by. Harry came back over and helped you walk to the taxi, arm around your back. You tried to tell him you didn’t need his help, but he didn’t listen.

Harry gave the taxi driver his address. You gave him yours, but he didn’t listen. You spoke up again, but Harry told you not to worry; you could spend the night with him. You nodded.

Harry helped you out of the taxi. You didn’t fight back. You tried to pay for the taxi, but he wouldn’t take your money. You held his hand as you walked through the doors of his apartment building, got in the elevator, got to his apartment. He sat you down on the couch and went off to his room. He came back shortly after.

“I don’t have any pyjamas for you.”

“Why would I need pyjamas?” You laughed a little, and then a lot.

Harry smiled. He went back to his room and came back with a shirt still wrapped in plastic and a bag.

“Here. The bathroom is over there. There’s makeup wipes on the counter.” He helped you up and you walked over.

“Why do you have makeup wipes? Do you wear makeup?”

“Yep!” Said Harry. “Just turn the lock to the left. It’s tricky sometimes, try it a few times if it doesn’t work, yeah?”

“That’s so cool, can you show me your makeup sometime?”

“Yep! Maybe after you get your pyjamas on.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm!”

You shut the door and turned the lock, though you doubted you’d need it. You took off your fancy clothes and put on a pair of brand new too-big black sweatpants and a too-big pink t-shirt. Why did you need pyjamas again? Harry hadn’t answered. He wasn’t sending you home in pyjamas, was he? Uh oh.

You walked out. Harry was in the kitchen. “Do you need anything?”

“A drink.”

“Water?”

“Wine, dummy.” You cracked up at this.

“You’ve already had more than enough. C’mon, let’s go to the living room.” He grinned.

“Whyyyyyy?”

Harry smiled patiently. “C’mon, y/n. We can watch a movie or something.”

“Okay. Wait - can I just have orange juice instead?”

“Of course.” He grabbed a can of juice and then walked into the living room. You followed. There were pillows and blankets on the couch, and Disney+ was set up.

“Ooou, fancy,” you laughed.

Harry crawled under the blankets. You did too. He laughed. So did you. Why were you even upset with him in the first place? You couldn’t remember. Harry grabbed the remote and turned on some show you’ve never heard of before. The Mandalorian, whatever that was. You leaned your head on Harry’s shoulder. It wasn’t even boring - why were you falling asleep?

Harry closed his eyes - he was tired, too, but for different reasons. You listened to his breathing get slower. You held him tightly. You held him back.

“Friends don’t hold friends that way,” you thought to yourself. “But who cares?”

You fell asleep. So did he.

You forgot about the stunt rumours. So did he.

He forgot about how his friend called him in a panic, not wanting this relationship to get ruined for him like the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that. About how he really, really liked you, but couldn’t act on it. He wanted to give you the world. Yes, he fell too quickly, too easily, but who could blame him?

And you forgot about Ella in the same panic. She didn’t want this to get ruined for you, of course, because this was your first shot, your first love (Although not that she’d know - you had to admit you had been a bit distant with her since you met Harry.) She didn’t want you to fall into the hands of the public eye. She wanted to make sure you were safe. She wasn’t sure if you should trust Harry, so of course she should be worried.

But you trusted him.

And he trusted you.

And everything is okay.

Until 3am.

A/N PT 2 - While you’re waiting for part 3 (which is definitely coming btw!) check out my other fics through this masterlist HERE!

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corkcitylibraries · 3 years

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Frederick Douglass Series | Part 2

Frederick Douglass escaped slavery as a young adult in 1838 and became an influential leader in the struggle for abolition and women’s suffrage. His dedication to and passion for the protection of human rights brought about transformations in the US constitution.

This year marks the 175th anniversary of Frederick Douglass’ visit to Ireland.

Douglass Week, which runs from 8-14 February 2021, coinciding with Frederick Douglass’ assumed birthday, commemorates this revolutionary man’s visit to Cork.

Cork City Libraries will publish a four-part series, during Douglass Week. This series will chronicle Frederick Douglass’ childhood, his experience as a slave and escape from slavery, his time in Ireland and, in particular, Cork, his two wives, his meeting with Daniel O’Connell and his achievements as an abolitionist, orator and suffragist.

Frederick Douglass in Ireland

by Mary Horgan

Frederick Douglass, 1845 – a whole-plate daguerreotype, which he had taken shortly before his visit to Ireland (from Picturing Frederick Douglass: An Illustrated Biography of the Nineteenth Century’s Most Photographed American)

In 1845, shortly after the publication of Frederick Douglass’ first autobiography Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, Written By Himself, the American Anti-Slavery Society sent the 27-year-old, as a lecturing agent, on a very successful two-year tour of Great Britain and Ireland to forge stronger links with their anti-slavery movements and to attract new supporters to the abolition cause. Also, he was advised to leave America for his own safety. As Douglass was still considered a fugitive slave under the Constitution of the United States, he lived in the constant knowledge that he could be returned to bondage at any time. Anti-slavery societies in various parts of Great Britain and Ireland were working to enlighten the public mind on the subject of slavery as well as raising funds to aid fugitive slaves as they tried to make good their escape north on the Underground Railroad – a network of secret routes and safe houses - to free states and to Canada.

Soon after his arrival in Dublin on 31 August 1845, Douglass wrote to friends in America: “I am safe in old Ireland, in the beautiful city of Dublin.” He began his four-month visit to Ireland at the home of James Webb and his family, near Trinity College. James’ brother, the Quaker anti-slavery activist, Richard Davis Webb was a friend of American abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison and an important link between British, Irish and American anti-slavery activists. Webb was a founding member of the Hibernian Anti-Slavery Society in 1837 and had founded a printing company in Dublin, in 1828, publishing works from various philanthropic, social and political organisations. In late September 1845, Webb published the first Irish edition of Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass with a print run of 2000, which would be sold at Douglass’ various speaking engagements throughout the country. It contained the following notice of recommendation for Douglass from the Hibernian Anti-Slavery Society.

A notice of recommendation for Douglass from the Hibernian Anti-Slavery Society, Richard D. Webb, Secretary (from Douglass, Frederick. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Written By Himself. Dublin: Webb and Chapman, 1845, Special Collections, UCC Library).

After a month in Dublin where he gave a number of lectures and met Daniel O’Connell, whom he greatly admired, Douglass travelled onto Wexford and Waterford before arriving in Cork. Though Cork’s 18th/early 19th century economy had benefited through trade links from the existence of slavery in the West Indies, Cork also had a committed Anti-Slavery Society (CASS). It was formed on 6 January 1826, by the Quaker, Joshua Beale, at the Assembly Rooms in George’s Street (now Oliver Plunkett Street). CASS was ecumenical in its membership; as well as Quakers and other protestant dissenters including Unitarian Presbyterians and Methodists, it also attracted members of the Established Church of Ireland as well as Roman Catholics. After the abolition of slavery in the West Indies in 1833, CASS turned its attention to working for the abolition of slavery in the American South. Its auxiliary branch, the Cork Ladies Anti-Slavery Society (CLASS) collected contributions for Bazaars organised by the American Anti-Slavery Society. The following is an appeal from Cork Ladies Anti-Slavery Society for contributions for the Twelfth Annual Bazaar in 1845.

Appeal from Cork Ladies Anti-Slavery Society

A visit by Douglass to Cork was organized by the Cork Anti-Slavery Society (CASS) and its auxiliary branch, the Cork Ladies Anti-Slavery Society (CLASS). On arrival in Cork on 10 October 1845, Douglass went to stay with Thomas and Ann Jennings and their eight children at 9 Brown Street, where he enjoyed the lively family atmosphere and stimulating discussions which helped to make his time in Cork such a personal highlight of his two year tour of Great Britain and Ireland. Thomas owned the Jennings Soda-Water Factory at 11/12 Brown Street. Brown Street is no longer in existence but at the time of Frederick’s visit, it ran through what is now the Paul Street Shopping Centre down towards the River Lee. One of the daughters of the family, 32-year-old Isabel, was Secretary of the Cork Ladies’ Anti-Slavery Society and her sisters Charlotte and Hannah also attended its weekly meetings. Isabel arranged Douglass’ speaking engagements, so she was soon able to report to Maria Weston Chapman of the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society that his lectures in Cork had been such a success that:

“There never was a person who made a greater sensation in Cork amongst all religious bodies . . . He feels like a friend whom we had long known, and I think before he goes we will quite understand one another”.

Her sister Jane was equally impressed writing to Mrs Chapman:

“We are a large family, my mother, three brothers and five sisters, generally considered not easily pleased – but Frederick won the affection of every one of us.”

(Letters from the Jennings family to Maria Weston Chapman held at Boston Public Library)

During Douglass’ time in Cork, nearly 250 copies of the Narrative of Frederick Douglass were sold in the city, which were on sale in bookshops such as Purcell & Co and Bradford & Co on Patrick Street. So successful was the first Irish edition that a second was published in early 1846. Douglass’ busy schedule in Cork involved at least thirteen lectures with people turning out in droves to hear him. In a series of lectures at the Wesleyan Chapel, the Court House, the Temperance Institute, Lloyd’s Hotel, the Imperial Hotel and the Independent Chapel, Douglass’ powerful oratorical skills drew a wide cross-section of Cork society. He spoke at temperance meetings as well as abolitionist meetings, where he would leave his audiences in no uncertainty about the evils of slavery. On Tuesday 14 October, he gave a breakfast speech at Lloyd’s Hotel, George’s Street, (now Casey’s, Oliver Plunkett Street) where he reminded his audience:

“You will remember that I was a slave . . . that I am still a slave according to the law of the State from which I ran, and according to the General Government of the States of North America”.

(from Cork Examiner, 15 October, 1845).

One of his Cork speeches was reprinted in an American abolitionist newspaper with the following warning:

“Southern slaveholders read the following proceeding, if you wish to know what are the feelings of the People of Ireland, in reference to your nefarious slave system.”

(from The Liberator newspaper).

During Douglass’ time in Cork, he became friendly with the then Mayor of Cork, 51-year-old Richard Dowden, a Unitarian, philanthropist and member of the Cork Anti-Slavery Society. Dowden later ran the Jennings Soda-Water Factory after the death of Thomas Jennings.

Richard Dowden, Mayor of Cork, 1845 (JCHAS, 1992)

Douglass attended the Unitarian Church, Princes Street with Richard Dowden. This church is listed as the oldest place of continuous worship in the city since it was opened in 1717. Dowden was closely associated with Father Theobald Mathew, often fundraising for the ’Apostle of Temperance’ and it was in this church that Father Mathew signed the Temperance Agreement in 1839. Fr Mathew attained national and international prominence for his temperance crusade of the 1830s and 1840s and Douglass was already a great admirer of Fr Mathew when he came to Ireland. Soon after his arrival in Cork, he attended a Temperance soirée with music, dancing and fireworks at the Cork Temperance Institute, Academy Street, to mark Fr Mathew’s fifty-fifth birthday.

Opening of the Cork Temperance Institute, London Illustrated News, 1845 www.corkpastandpresent.ie

Shortly after this, Fr Mathew invited him to breakfast at his home at 7 Cove Street, which Douglass described as being of “all of a very plain order . . . too plain, for so great a man”. Though Douglass had been teetotal for eight years, he was moved to renew his pledge to abstain from alcohol from Fr Mathew, writing:

“So entirely charmed by the goodness of this truly good man was I, that I besought him to administer the pledge to me . . . “

On 20 October, Douglass spoke at Cork Temperance Institute, on ‘Intemperance and Slavery’. Only a few years later, Douglass would be greatly disappointed in Fr Mathew. Though he was a supporter of the anti-slavery cause, Fr Mathew refused to attend anti-slavery rallies or to speak out against slavery when on tour of the United States in 1849. In Douglass’ newspaper, The North Star, he wrote: “We had fondly hoped, from an acquaintance with Fr Mathew . . . that he would not change his morality by changing his location . . . We are however grieved, humbled and mortified to know that HE too, has fallen”. Fr Mathew felt he had to prioritize his temperance crusade and that to condemn slave owners during his visit to the United States would lose his campaign much support.

Cork Examiner, 13 October 1845

This is an advertisement for a lecture titled, ‘I am Here to Spread Light on American Slavery’ at the Court House, Great George’s Street, (now Washington Street), on the following afternoon. The Cork Examiner, 15 October 1845, reported that “The Grand Jury Gallery was thronged with ladies, who seemed to take the liveliest interest in the proceedings” and went on to praise the two-hour lecture as being “one of the most eloquent and impressive discourses we ever heard”.

On Friday 17 October, Douglass delivered a two-hour lecture at the Wesleyan Chapel, St Patrick’s Street, titled ‘Slavery Corrupts American Society and Religion’ in which he was critical of different Protestant groups in America for their lack of support for the anti-slavery cause. In Ireland, he drew people from diverse backgrounds to hear him, cutting across social, religious and political divides. As well as those from the more affluent sections of Cork society, “the suffering poor”, as they were referred to by the Cork Examiner, also came in great numbers. Douglass was adept at being able to tailor his speeches to the different audiences. For instance, when speaking at the Wesleyan Methodist Chapel, he refrained from mentioning Daniel O’Connell at all, but at the Court House, where many in the audience were from the Roman Catholic working class, he extolled the man they called ‘The Liberator’, saying that they felt “more sympathy with the slave than did the other sects”.

(Cork Examiner, 15 October 1845).

Cork Constitution, 21 October 1845

Douglass’ final public appearance in Cork was at the Independent Chapel, George’s Street (now Oliver Plunkett Street) on 3 November 1845. This chapel which was built between 1826 and 1831, on the site of the old Assembly Rooms, was the chapel of the Congregationalists, who were also known as Independents because they believed in liberty of conscience and the independence of each congregation.

The remains of the Independent Chapel today behind Euro Giant , Oliver Plunkett St., www.corkpastandpresent.ie

A number of placards including one which read Céad Míle Fáilte decorated the room. Ralph Varian, the secretary of the Cork Anti-Slavery Society read an Address to Frederick Douglass:

“ . . . In the happy hours of social intercourse which we have enjoyed in your society, a further opportunity has been afforded us of becoming acquainted with the details of that abominable system of savage law, and degraded public sentiment by which three millions of human beings are held in bodily and menial bondage yoked to the oar of American Freedom. Never were we so impressed with the horrors of the system, as while listening to one, who was himself born subject to the lash and fetter . . . yet who is so gifted, as he to whom we dedicate this Address, with high [ ], intellectual, and spiritual power, together with so much refinement of mind and manners.

Allow us to say that in estimating the pleasures and advantages which your visit has conferred upon us – we value highly those derivable from your excellent Anti-Slavery work – the unpretending memoir of your escape from chattled bondage to the liberty and light of a moral and intellectual being. While perusing it, we have been charmed to the end by the power of simple truth, and warm and genuine feeling . . . “

Extract from an ‘Address to Frederick Douglass from the Anti-Slavery Society of Cork’

Cork Examiner, 7 November 1845

A verse, ‘Céad Míle Fáilte to the Stranger’ was composed for the occasion by local poet, Daniel Casey, and sung by those in attendance:

“Stranger from a distant nation

We welcome thee with acclamation

And, as a brother warmly greet thee –

Rejoiced in Erin’s Isle to meet thee

Then Cead Mille Failthe to the stranger,

Free from bondage, chains and danger.

Who could have heard thy hapless story,

Of tyrants – canting, base and gory;

Whose heart throbbed not with deep

pulsation

Oh! Why should different hue or feature

Prevent the sacred laws of Nature,

And every tie of feeling sever? –

The voice of Nature thunders ‘Never!’

Then borne o’er the Atlantic waters

The cry of Erin’s sons and daughters

For freedom shall henceforth be blended

Till Slavery’s hellish reign be ended.”

(by Daniel Casey)

In return, Douglass was moved to sing an old abolition song. In his reply to the Address, he thanked the Cork press for reporting his words, saying:

“I did not expect the high position that I enjoy during my stay in the City of Cork . . . I want the Americans to know that in the good city of Cork, I ridiculed their nation - I attempted to excite the utter contempt of the people here upon them”.

(Cork Examiner, 7 November 1845)

Mayor Richard Dowden gave Douglass a signet ring, on behalf of the city, to symbolize the relationship between Frederick and people of Cork. On the next leg of his Irish tour, Douglass sent a letter of heartfelt thanks to Dowden on 11 November 1845.

Letter from Frederick Douglass to Richard Dowden (part) (Courtesy of Cork City and County Archives)

The following is a transcription of part of the letter which is now held at Cork City and County Archives.

“I speak just what I feel – and what all who are acquainted with the facts will confess to be true, when I say that to yours and the deep interest which the Miss Jennings took in me and my mission, I am almost entirely indebted for the success which attended my humble efforts while in the good City of Cork. I shall ever remember my visit with pleasure, and never shall I think of Cork without remembering that yourself and the kind friends just named constituted the source from whence flowed much of the light, life and warmth of humanity which I found in that good City . . .

. . . I received the token of your esteem which you sent, I have it on the little finger of my right hand, I never wore one- or had the disposition to do so before, I shall wear this, and prize it as the representative of the holy feelings with which you espoused and advocated my humble cause”.

Douglass wrote of his time in Ireland as being transformative. As he was about to leave Ireland, he wrote from Belfast the following to William Lloyd Garrison:

“I have been here a little more than four months . . . I can truly say, I have spent some of the happiest moments of my life since landing in this country. I seem to have undergone a transformation, I live a new life”.

(Letter of 1 January 1846, The Life and Writings of Frederick Douglass).

Douglass continued his anti-slavery lectures in England and Wales throughout the rest of 1846 and early 1847. On his return to the U.S in April 1847, he published newspapers and further autobiographies. He provided aid for fugitive slaves. During the Civil War, he campaigned for the rights of African Americans to enlist in the Union Army. He was consulted by President Lincoln and later presidents, from whom he received several political appointments. Throughout his life, Douglass was also a great supporter of equal rights for women.

In 1887, Douglass made a short return trip to Dublin to “once more look into the faces and hear the voices of the few remaining friends who gave me sympathy and support during my visit 41 years ago”. He visited the family of Richard Webb, the abolitionist and publisher, who had died in 1872.

Frederick Douglass in Killiney, Co. Dublin, 1887, when he visited the Webb family. (from Picturing Frederick Douglass: An Illustrated Biography of the Nineteenth Century’s Most Photographed American)

On return to Washington D.C., Douglass spoke in favour of Irish Home Rule.

Frederick Douglass died of a heart attack near Washington D.C. on 20 February 1895 after attending a meeting of the Women’s National Council.

Bibliography:

Douglass, F., Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, Written by Himself, Webb & Chapman, Dublin, 1845. (Special Collections, UCC)

Douglass, F., Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, Written by Himself, Norton & Co., New York, 1997.

Fenton, L., Frederick Douglass in Ireland: ‘The Black O’Connell’. Ulverscroft, Leicester, 2015.

Foner, P. ed), The Life and Writings of Frederick Douglas, International Publishers, New York, 1987.

Kinealy, C., Frederick Douglass and Ireland: In His Own Words, Vol. 1, Routledge, New York, 2018.

Stauffer, J., Trodd, Z., Bernier, C., Picturing Frederick Douglass: An Illustrated Biography of the Nineteenth Century’s Most Photographed American, Norton & Co., New York, 2018.

Ferreira, Patricia J., ‘Frederick Douglass in Ireland: The Dublin Edition of His “Narrative”’, New Hibernia Review, Vol. 5, No. 1, Spring, 2001.

Harrison, Richard S., ‘The Cork Anti-Slavery Society, its Antecedents and Quaker Background 1755-1859’, JCHAS, 1992.

Jenkins, Lee, ‘Beyond the Pale: Frederick Douglass in Cork’, The Irish Review, No. 24, Autumn, 1999.

Quinn, John F., “Safe in Old Ireland”: Frederick Douglass’s Tour, 1845-1846’, The Historian, Vol. 64, Spring/Summer, 2002.

Cork Constitution

Cork Examiner

The North Star

www.corkpastandpresent.ie

#corkcitylibraries #frederickdouglass

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imalwaysintune · 4 years

Text

Barbershop Au

This is purely for my own indulgence, as I thought of this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head. I woke up at 5:30 am this morning in a cold sweat and intensely wanted to write about these four funky little men in a barbershop group. No I don’t know why.

Also, I got my new laptop today (yay!) and this is the first thing I’m writing on it, so it’s basically officially cursed now. I also blame @ggracee for fueling this fire.

Enjoy! Stuff under cut!

------------------------------------

In the Archives:

Martin had been quietly working on his notes when he suddenly felt the air behind him grow colder. His stomach dropped and he turned his chair around, just as he saw the air shift and Peter fade into view. It was terrifying the first time he’d seen it, had seen the way the space shifted and how it looked like the universe was going to collapse into a black hole.

But it hadn’t, and Martin had gotten used to Peter’s comings and goings. Peter himself, on the other hand, was another story. He was cold and heartless, and he had ripped Martin from all his friends and would chastise him every time he even so much as look at another member of the archival staff.

Martin sighed as he leaned his head on his hand, and waited expectantly for Peter to start talking. It was just better this way.

“Hey, Martin. I see you’re busy here doing... things. Um, you know, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor,” Peter seemed almost nervous, to Martin’s surprise. He didn’t normally look Martin in the eye out of habit, but this seemed intentional.

“As if I have a choice?” Martin sounds bitter, probably more bitter than he meant. He had just been having a rough day, rougher than usual. He wanted nothing more than to talk to Jon, but Peter made that virtually impossible.

“Oh come on Martin, I deserve more credit than that,” Peter looked at Martin directly then, and he looked nervous. It would’ve taken Martin aback if he cared enough. He just rolled his eyes and made a lazy gesture with his hand that roughly meant “go on”.

It wasn’t until that moment that he realized Peter’s hands were held behind his back, and he appeared to be holding something. When he brought his hands forward, they were holding something that looked like a piece of clothing. It was covered with red and white pinstripes, and Martin just stared at with mild surprise.

“So, I know we aren’t really friends. At least, you don’t consider me a friend. But there was no one else we could ask. We lost out last tenor to the Hunt and Elias doesn’t want to switch just to spite me now that I forced him to sing lead, so... you’re basically our only hope,” Peter was almost stumbling over his words, and in that moment he seemed more human to Martin than he had ever seen the man.

“Okay,” Martin said, remembering how much fun the show choir had been when he was in high school. That felt like so long ago now.

“Okay? Just.. okay? Like that? No fighting? You don’t even want me to beg?” The nerves that had fueled Peter just a second ago were replaced with bewilderment.

“I mean, you can if you want. But, I have nothing better to do, and frankly, the prospect of seeing Elias in that ridiculous suit you’re holding is just too good to pass up,” Martin said as he sat upright in his chair. He grabbed the suit from Peter’s hands and left the room, going to one of the many bathrooms that were littered around the institute.

He didn’t know what he expected of the suit, but he was pleasantly surprised when he felt the fabric grow and shrink to fit Martin’s form. He absentmindedly wondered what kinda freaky fear magic was used to make the suit fit so well as he examined himself in the mirror.

For how ridiculous he thought the fabric design had looked before, he quite liked how it flattered him. It made his ginger hair pop, and his body looked good. He’d never worn a suit that was properly tailored to him, so it was a nice change.

He walked out of the bathroom and back into the room where he knew Peter would be waiting. His eyes lit up as they landed on Martin, standing up from where he had sat down and walking over to the shorter man.

He beamed like a proud dad as he pulled out two more items from seemingly nowhere. He held out an iconic boater hat in one hand, and a bright red and white cane that matched the pattern of the suit.

Martin had the urge to laugh, something he hadn’t felt in awhile, so he let the laughter flow as he grabbed the items from Peter. It almost felt surreal, but it would seem that the being who took away all of Martin’s happiness would also be the one to provide it

Skip forward a few weeks to Elias’s office:

Martin stood outside of Elias’ office, debating whether or not he should follow through with his plan. However, as he figured Elias would already know he was there, he opened the door anyways.

Elias’ was staring up at him from the huge desk in the middle of the room, and Martin swallowed hard.

“Can I help you, Martin?” Elias drawled, looking up at Martin expectantly.

Martin crossed the room towards Elias, holding a stack of papers that looked like they were dangerously close to spilling everywhere. When he got to the desk, he dropped all the papers on the desk and started rifling through them, looking for a specific paper.

When he finally found it, he picked it up and walked around the desk, coming to settle next to Elias. He placed the paper down and pointed to a specific area on the page.

“I was trying to practice my part of ‘Coney Island Baby’, but I can’t get this one phrase here on page 7. I was wondering if you would work with me on it so that I have something to compare my part against and maybe it can help me-” Martin was abruptly cut off by the dreaded feeling he got when Peter was about to show up.

Sure enough, the space in front of them started to shift and soon Peter was just... there. Martin mentally chastised himself for being so careless. Of course Peter wouldn’t want him talking to anyone outside the time he allowed, even if it was to get help.

“Now, Martin, you surely know why I’m here. I have to say I’m majorly disappointed in you,” Peter didn’t sound disappointed. He sounded like he always did. His inflection rarely changed but it didn’t stop the words from stinging.

“Look, I’m sorry Peter, but I was just asking for Elias’ help on a part. If you don’t let me ask him for help when you’re not around, how am I supposed to get better?” Martin regretted challenging Peter as soon as the last word left his house.

Peter didn’t look angry. Far from it in fact. He looked like he’d been struck by genius. Martin’s stomach dropped when Peter finally revealed his brilliant idea.

“Here’s an idea. You can sit in the Lonely until all your sheet music is memorized! You need to learn to be part independent, Martin. You’re in the big leagues now.

Before he knew it, Martin felt the air around him grow thick as him and his papers were thrust into the dimension. Right before he lost complete contact though, he managed to thrust out “Can I at least have a pitch-pipe-” before disappearing into the Lonely.

It was Elias who broke the silence, sighing heavily. “You know, Peter, just because I offered you Martin to use for your secret little experiment doesn’t you can take him away from his work. He was doing important filing-” And suddenly with another ‘whoosh’ of Peter’s hand, Elias was destined to join Martin in the Lonely.

He could almost imagine the fit Elias was having, but he told himself that it was all for the best. This was the most productive they were going to be until Simon showed up.

Ah Simon Fairchild, the wild-child of the group. He was unpredictable, rarely showed up rehearsals and yet always seemed to know the sheet music intimately. It was as frustrating as it was liberating, to know that at least someone was serious about the group.

Oh well. At least this fun little experiment will test if his boys are up to the test.

A non-disclosed theater:

A few weeks after the “Lonely” incident, Peter, Elias, and Martin all gathered at the theater Peter had rented out for their rehearsals. Martin thought it was a bit much, but Peter thought the huge auditorium was perfect. Martin couldn’t even fathom how much something like this cost.

Suddenly, Martin had the familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. He looked over towards Peter, who was smiling giddily.

To Elias’ left, a being popped into view. He was wearing a dark green suede suit, brown and tan saddle shoes, and a wide brimmed hat that outlined his face like a halo.

Martin had never seen this person before, but Peter was looking at the figure in elation, walking over to him and enveloping the figure in a hug.

When Martin looked towards Elias for any sort of assistance, he sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Martin, this is Simon Fairchild. He’s our Baritone. Even though he rarely shows up to rehearsal, I have to admit, he’s a borderline musical prodigy,” Elias explained to Martin.

Peter and Simon seemed to be in deep conversation, and Martin strained his ears to hear what they were saying.

“-but it seems entirely unfair that you would send them into the Lonely without me. I could’ve helped them! They could’ve been out in half the time. Plus, I’ve never actually been inside The Lonely so it truly would’ve been quite an enlightening experience-” At this, Martin couldn’t stand to listen to Simon again. Talkative, that one.

He turned towards Elias and opened the sheet music for the latest song Peter had assigned to them and got to work. If Simon and Peter wanted to goof off, that was on them. At least he and Elias would be productive.

“One, two, a one two three four-” Martin began, and him and Elias erupted into wonky two part harmony. It wasn’t the most beautiful thing, but it was the most alive Martin had felt in months.

- THE END!

-----------------------------------------------------------

This one is so cursed I’m sorry-

I just really wanted to write about these stupid cursed men if they joined force and made a barbershop group. I don’t have everything I wanted to write about in here, so maybe there will be a part 2 if it seems like y’all want it. Don’t be afraid to hit up my ask box and my ao3!

Words: 1708

#the magnus archives #tma #my work #elias bouchard #martin blackwood #simon fairchild #peter lukas #Barbershop AU #Barbershop #pls dont ask me why i had inspiration to write this #id love to hear yalls feedback lmao #Barbershop quartet

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stshyt · 3 years

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rennyforpresident · 4 years

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Renny’s BBSim: First Boots Week 8

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiiig Brother!

@ashleaevans @bathroom-sand @kaysarswhore @kayysarridha @kelleekim @lahallucinations @maxdoesbb @misshoh @music-obsessednerd @nerdphobic @nomwastaken @pawn2393 @phylisisley @remember-caltoru @rennyforpresident @shaolinbynature

Previously, the Double Eviction claimed both @remember-caltoru and @nomwastaken as its victims. With only 8 people left in the game, allies have to start turning on each other. Who will take the first shot?

After the double, alliances have DWINDLED

The Fearsome Four became the Fearsome Two last night, and the Block Destroyers lost their first number. But these alliances are only half the house; @kelleekim, @shaolinbynature, @phylisisley, and @ashleaevans still have a shot against the alliance!

The dreaded chicken wire competition! A few people fall out of things early, and just can’t keep up

@phylisisley in the DR: “I am LIVID that I can’t just win a fuckin comp! We’re at final 8! I mean, how do I keep losing??”

These three all have a good grip on this comp. Each of them are at 10 eggs each, when disaster strikes for one

@misshoh: “NOOOOOOOO, my egg!!”

@misshoh dropped her eleventh egg, essentially taking her out of the comp.

No matter what happens, someone will be HOH for the THIRD time (can someone else win a comp I’m tired of congratulating these two). Will @kaysarswhore win it for the Block Destroyers, or will @shaolinbynature win it for the Leftovers?

By an insanely close margin...

@shaolinbynature! You have won your THIRD HOH of the summer, securing your safety and earning the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction!

Feeling defeated, the Block Destroyers all hug each other solemnly. On the other side of the yard, @ashleaevans happily hands the key to the HOH room to @shaolinbynature

@shaolinbynature in the DR: “This week, my one and only goal is to finally take OUT @kaysarswhore! She’s snuck by for TOO LONG, and I can’t have her making it any further.”

Late at night, the day before the nomination ceremony, @pawn2393, @ashleaevans, and @shaolinbynature are all in the HOH room.

@pawn2393: “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but @kaysarswhore and @nerdphobic are the final 2 we have to worry about. I’m willing to work with you all because @kaysarswhore just doesn’t have my back. I’m on the bottom over there”

@ashleaevans: “I personally feel like we can trust you, so I’m happy to work with you.”

@shaolinbynature: “I feel like I’m getting some weird readings right now... are @ashleaevans and @pawn2393 working together? I mean, it’s great to get intel on the other side, but can I trust him?”

At the nomination ceremony, @shaolinbynature stands up to make her decision

@shaolinbynature: “I have decided to nominate you @kaysarswhore and you @nerdphobic. @kaysarswhore, you shouldn’t be surprised at this point. You’re the biggest threat in here, and @nerdphobic, you’re just guilty by association. I would wish you luck in the veto, but I really hope you don’t win so we can send you out the door. This ceremony is adjourned.”

@kaysarswhore in the DR: “I am so tired of being vilified by these people. I have been nothing but good to these people, and I’ve gotten nothing but targeted in return.”

*at this point, shady editing shows all the shady things @kaysarswhore has done throughout the season to prove that she has not, in fact, been nothing but good*

@nerdphobic in the DR: “I am just hoping that the veto doesn’t get used by anyone but me. I’m staying here no matter what, and my best shot at staying is against @kaysarswhore. I love you girl, but I will cut you if it means I win half a million.”

It looks like the veto drawings are not in the Block Destroyers’ favor. @shaolinbynature draws @pawn2393, and says later in the DR, “This is his chance to prove which side he wants to be on.” @kaysarswhore and @nerdphobic both pick people from the other side of the house, and know that when push comes to shove, they’re the only ones they can rely on.

In this elimination style competition, two people will go head to head to beat each other’s scores. By random draw, @kelleekim is up first! He challenges @kaysarswhore, and with a score of 7 to 5

@nerdphobic is up next, and chooses to take on @shaolinbynature. Both do a good job, but with a score of 8 to 7,

Next up to choose is @pawn2393. Here is the moment of truth. Who will he pick to go up against, and which side of the house will @pawn2393 choose to work with moving forward.

@pawn2393: “I choose, uh, I choose...”

@pawn2393: “I choose to go up against @kaysarswhore.”

Live footage of @kaysarswhore and @nerdphobic‘s reaction

The two face off, but after an intense round, @pawn2393 just can’t beat her

Unfortunately for @kaysarswhore, she’s the next person to choose and doesn’t get a break. She picks @shaolinbynature, and with a score of 9-7

That means it’s down to the showmance, @phylisisley and @shaolinbynature. As soon as she’s eliminated, @kaysarswhore goes over to the losers bench and sits in angry silence until the end of the comp.

The last round is just the two remaining houseguests having fun, not caring who wins. But in a surprise twist, the person walking away with the veto is...

@phylisisley! Congratulations, you have won the Power of Veto!

The Leftovers celebrate, and the Block Destroyers (minus @pawn2393) are looking crestfallen, to say the least.

But @kaysarswhore isn’t going down without a fight. That much is for damn sure. The next night, @kaysarswhore gathers both @phylisisley and @shaolinbynature in the HOH room to make her pitch.

@kaysarswhore: “Listen. This game? Finished. I’m willing to spill the details of everyone’s games right here right now. @pawn2393 and @ashleaevans have a little flirtmance thing going on that they’re never going to break. They think they’re slick and that no one knows, but I figured it out a long time ago. @misshoh and @kelleekim have a secret deal that I overheard them talk about a few weeks ago. They’ve both been throwing comp after comp because they’ve never been nominated and never even been targeted. The only person in this house who hasn’t been sneaky and underhanded is @nerdphobic, and yeah, he’s loyal to me, and I’m loyal to him, but I promise you, if you flip this script and keep me here, you’ll have the numbers for sure going forward. The four of us, will definitely take on @kelleekim, @ashleaevans, @pawn2393, and @misshoh. They don’t have a shot in hell at winning a comp.”

Stunned, it takes a second for anyone to respond.

@shaolinbynature: “And what guarantee do we have from you that you’ll be true to your word? You’ve burned us both before, how can we trust you now?”

@kaysarswhore: “I can’t give you anything other than my word. But it’d be stupid of me to lie to your faces like this when we’re already in jury.”

The conversation continues for another hour, and @kaysarswhore gives their heated and passionate campaign. The next day, @shaolinbynature confronts @ashleaevans about his secret relationship with @pawn2393.

@ashleaevans: “What?!?! No! Do you think @pawn2393 is stupid enough to jeopardize his alliance weeks ago? Do you think I’m stupid enough to jeopardize my position in the house?

His response was defensive, but really convincing. It made way more sense than @kaysarswhore‘s argument.

The time for the veto ceremony has come. @phylisisley stands and delivers her speech.

@phylisisley: “Hey folks. I just want to say that I am very very happy to have finally won my first competition, and it has been very, um, enlightening to see what people will tell you when you have power. People’s true sides have come out, and I think it’s time for us to stop playing pretend and start playing Big Brother. That being said, I have decided...

Live footage of me seeing the sim tell me this happened and wondering how the FUCK I’m supposed to justify that

@shaolinbynature: “Since one of my nominees were vetoed, I must now name a replacement nominee. It has come to my attention that some of us haven’t been playing as hard as others. I don’t want someone like that to win this game, so unfortunately...

@misshoh in the DR: “I can’t fucking believe it. What the fuck did @kaysarswhore tell them to convince them to use the veto on her? I thought I had this game in the bag, and now here I am on the block. *breaks down and cries*”

With noms locked, the house is left to their own devices for the rest of the week.

Feeling dejected that his final 2 with @misshoh is exposed and his ally is probably going home this week, @kelleekim chooses to spend lots of time with her before Thursday

@misshoh: “If I go this week, I’m rooting for you. All the way. That jury is all gonna be voting for you to win because I’m gonna tell them to.”

The two of them lament their friendship, and resolve to get to work on getting the votes for @misshoh to stay.

In other news, @phylisisley is having a tough time figuring out how to cope with the game-changing decision she made.

@phylisisley spends the night in the HOH room being consoled by @shaolinbynature.

@shaolinbynature: “We did what we had to do. We’re playing this game. If she betrays us, we know she lost this game, she’s not getting a single jury vote for being such a fake.”

@phylisisley: “But we had people depending on us! I just feel bad.”

The two comfort each other for a few hours, and when they next wake up, it’s

EVICTION DAY

Julie Arisa: “Hey houseguests! It’s me Arisa!”

The houseguests all look extremely confused, because the woman before them is definitely Julie Chen.

Julie Arisa: “Why do you all look so concerned? It’s just me!”

Then, the real Arisa runs on stage looking extremely disheveled and yells, “Take her down boys!”

Julie is once again dragged offstage screaming, “I’ll get you Arisa, I’ll get you and BB will be MINE again! Grodner is on her way and she won’t put up with this!”

Arisa: “Well houseguests, I’ve been through a lot today, so let’s do this eviction thing. Get to it folks.”

@misshoh: “Just to let you all know, if you go to the end with @kaysarswhore, you’re a fool. I’m done with her, and I’ll never protect her in this game again. @shaolinbynature and @phylisisley, both of you got played this week. If I am on jury, neither of you will get my vote. That’s all!”

@nerdphobic: “All I can say is that I hope you keep me here! Peace and love to you all!”

Arisa: “Thanks for keeping it short folks! Now let’s voteeeeeeee”

@phylisisley votes out @misshoh. This blindside would be meaningless otherwise.

@kelleekim votes out @nerdphobic. He knows that @nerdphobic will go wherever @kaysarswhore does, so taking him out is his best bet.

@ashleaevans votes the same way for the same reason. The house has to pick a side, and this is the side he has to pick.

Now this one is a surprise! @pawn2393 goes into the DR and says, “I’ve learned this week to trust in the Block Destroyers. It looks like you haven’t learned that yet.”

The vote is tied. Two votes for @misshoh and two votes for @nerdphobic. Who will @kaysarswhore vote out? Will she honor her deal with @shaolinbynature and @phylisisley? Or will she defect back to the Block Destroyers?

@kaysarswhore votes out @nerdphobic in a SHOCKING twist.

@kaysarswhore: “The Block Destroyers are done. This is an individual game, and my plan is to cause as much chaos as possible. Sorry, but this is my best bet at making it further.”

Arisa: “When I reveal the name of the evicted houseguest, they will have one minute to gather their belongings, and exit the Big Brother house.”

Arisa: “Come on out, @nerdphobic!”

Arisa: “What happened?? How did you end up going home this week?”

@nerdphobic: “I blame @pawn2393 100%! @kaysarswhore told me how tight he was with @ashleaevans, and he’s the only one I can imagine flipping on the Block Destroyers like that. If he makes it to the end, he’s finished.”

Arisa: “It sounds like there’s some hard feelings! Do you think people are gonna start playing harder than ever now?”

@nerdphobic: “I can’t imagine things NOT heating up after this. I have no idea who’s going next, I just hope that it’s someone I don’t like leaving soon! *audience laughter*”

Arisa: “Thank you so much for playing, and we’ll see you soon on finale night where you will help crown a winner.

Only four more weeks until finale night! Who’s the next one out? For now, from outside the Big Brother house, I’m Arisa Cox, and remember, someone is aaaaaaaaalways watching!”

Okay writing this episode was IMPOSSIBLE I literally had no idea what the fuck y’all were doing but I LIVED! Sorry to @nerdphobic but we still stan!!

#bb22 #bbsim #bbsim first boots

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pabosontheloose · 4 years

Text

Words (Sehun)

----------------------------

Today was another day that seemed to keep dragging on no matter how much I tried to keep myself occupied. It was lonely in this apartment when he wasn’t here. It would’ve been deafeningly silent had I not put on some music to fill the space.

It was on these days when I wished that he was here so we can do nothing together instead of just me being on our couch, aimlessly surfing through the TV channels and wondering if he’s eaten yet. I worked in the mornings, from 5am to 1pm at a 24hr coffee shop. It had an above average pay which I was glad with. But then the afternoon comes and I find myself needing something to occupy the rest of the day with.

With this recent album coming up, I knew he wouldn’t be able to be home a lot, and I didn’t mind at all. I understood what his job required of him and I tried my best to support him through it; it was his actions that had me wondering if he really noticed my efforts or not.

I had cooked dinner for two, and ended up eating by myself, occasionally looking over to my phone when it lights up in hopes that it was a message from him. But it wasn’t. It never is anymore these days. The rest of the food was wrapped up and placed in the microwave so he has easy access when he came back.

I was dozing off at around 1 in the morning when the door opened. There was the sound of it closing after he had stepped in. His coat rustled as he placed it on the hook behind the door. As he walked further into the house, I heard his footsteps stop before a sigh left his mouth.

“Why are you still on the couch? There is a bedroom for a reason.” he shook my leg to snap me out of my drowsiness. I didn’t get to answer before he was making his way to the kitchen. A tiny beep came from the microwave before I heard him find the eating utensils. Slowly, I sat up and let out a yawn. My hands reached to move the small blanket from my body before standing up and stretching away the sleepiness. As soon as I reached the kitchen entrance, the microwave let out five beeps and Sehun went over to take out his dinner before sitting down at the table. I sat on the seat next to him and rested my head on the hand that was propped up by my elbow. I silently watched him cut into his food and bring it to his mouth.

“This is over seasoned.” was all he said, slowly chewing as if it was hard for him to swallow.

“Really? I thought it was fine when I tried it.” my eyes looked down at the plate in front of him. His eyes met mine for the first time since he set foot into the house.

“Well, clearly, you were wrong. This is overwhelming my nose. Would you mind if I made ramen instead?” he slightly pushed the plate further away from him. I could feel his words pinch at my heart. I stared at the plate as he got up to go turn on the stove and dig through the drawers to find the packets of ramen.

“But I made this especially for you...you’re just going to leave it here?” I asked his moving figure that was going back and forth in the kitchen.

“Well, I figured you’d finish it since you thought it was fine.” he shrugged, his voice low and held a hint of irritation. “Listen, I had a long day alright? Can we please not get into something that doesn’t have to happen in the first place?”

“Okay…” I mumbled before getting up and silently making my way towards our bedroom.

This was just one in a long line of things that I should’ve talked to him about. But there was always something that came up or it was just waved off. Next time I guess..

It was two days after that night. I had let it go for the most part when his half-assed apology came the next day but it was still picking at me. I didn’t want to make him feel guilty, but I can’t just let go of something that has been building up inside of me for so long. Keeping that aside, he told me he was going to be at a practice stage for the next three days and won’t be able to come home, so I decided to give him a visit at the dorm. I hadn’t seen the guys in a while too, so why not bring everyone something.

A couple of banana milk boxes were tossed into my bag along with chocolate bars and then I was off towards their building.

“Ahhh!! (Y/n)!!” Baekhyun’s cheery voice rang out through the security com before the doors were unlocked. I let myself in and looked around. I hadn’t gotten a few steps in before thudding footsteps were heard coming towards me. Baekhyun threw his arms around me in a tight hug before letting go and we walked further into the place.

“Hey, I didn’t think many of you would be here since promotions are happening.” I grinned seeing the boys spread out all over the living room. Minseok lifted his hand indicating a welcoming high five which I gladly gave.

“Yeah, we have about an hour before we gotta go. You looking for Sehun?” Junmyeon nodded, emerging from their kitchen.

“He’s just in the bathroom. What’s in the bag?” Baekhyun gave a cheeky grin, waving off my questioning glance towards the bathroom, as he plopped himself down onto the arm rest besides me.

“Oh, I thought you guys would like some refreshments.” I stated before opening the said bag. Head turned at the mention of food and I gave each of them their drinks and snacks. A round of thanks erupted before they dug in.

“What are you doing here?” my boyfriend’s voice suddenly asked as he entered the living room. I smiled before standing up to approach him.

“Hi! I just thought I’d pay you and everyone a visit since you won’t be home for the next three days.” His eyebrows furrowed before his hand came up to scratch at the end of his eyebrow.

“You should have called. Coming here was a hassle since we have to leave in a little bit.” he quickly remarked. My cheeks tinted pink at the tone of his voice.

“Well, it’s just you never answer my calls so I thought-”

“Well maybe there’s a reason I never answer your calls!” he snapped, making me back up a little bit in shock. My eyes widened slightly as I watched him start to fume.

“What? What do you mean?” I quietly let out. Not wanting the members to hear me or even be witnessing this right now.

“Don’t you ever think that maybe sometimes you can be a bit overbearing?” he questioned. I blinked at him and felt my cheeks turn red in embarrassment.

“Sehun.” a word of warning came from Junmyeon. No one else said a word. Although I wanted to speak, my throat ran dry. I just stood, staring at him, waiting for him to apologize or take back what he said; but his eyebrows stay furrowed and lips stayed a frown. When I didn’t say anything, he ignored his members' looks and continued, “I mean you are constantly around me, all the time. It’s always “have you eaten?” or “have you rested enough?”, come ON. I’m not a child, there is no need for you to be bugging me 24/7.”

“Oh Sehun!” this time, everyone was up. Those who rarely got angry were now suddenly raising their voice. Having been with Sehun for several years, I also knew a lot about the members. Sure, when Junmyeon raises his voice, everyone is cautious. But when it’s Minseok who raised his voice, everyone instantly shut up. I even noticed Sehun take a slight step back in surprise. I knew this was about to derail, and instantly held out my hands in hopes of getting everyone to settle down.

No one spoke a word. I stared up at Sehun before sighing.

“Fine. Enjoy your meal. See you guys.” I mumbled and turned around quickly. My vision blurred and my lids blinked to keep back the inevitable tears that will eventually come running down. I made my way towards the door, not wanting to stop for any of them who were calling out to me. My hands carefully closed the door before I made it all the way down towards the lobby and my car.

I wanted to fight back, and tell him off for his behavior, but I lost my energy. It was as if his words deflated everything that I wanted to discuss with him about and he left me there. I sat in my car for a little, just letting every tear go.

Buzz buzz...buzz buzz...buzz buz-

“Yeah, Baekhyun?”

“Tell me you aren’t driving.”

“No, I’m still here. I just need to calm down first before I leave.” I sniffled, wiping my tears as if someone were watching me. A sigh of relief was heard through the line before he started talking again.

“Good, I’m coming down.” and before I could even object, the line cut off. I sat there, waiting for his figure to show up and let him into the passenger seat. When he got in, we were silent for a good minute.

“Listen, that brat doesn’t mean it, you know that right?” he asked. I looked at him.

“I know, but it still hurts.”

“Yeah, I know it does. And trust me, he’s getting an earful up there right now. Damn, I can’t even imagine what Kyungsoo and the others will do when they find out after the stage.” he chuckled, his words contradicted his facial expression because I knew that that was exactly what he was doing.

“How are they going to find out?”

“Oh, because I’m gonna tell them.” he grinned as-a-matter-of-factly, his cheerful tone slightly enlightening my mood.

“Thanks Baek.”

“No problem, and hey, you should come by tonight for the show. If you’re too angry to go because of him, go for us.” he patted my shoulder. I looked down at my hands and nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll see you all tonight.” he grinned. His hand came up to ruffle my hair before he said his goodbye and went back upstairs.

Several hours later, I found myself standing in front of their stadium. The lights were dim and Aeris were waving their lightsticks around in anticipation for their boys. I flipped the on switch of mine and held it up as well. Within seconds the lights of the stage came on and the performance proceeded.

The fanchant shook the roof, and the boys were amazing as they always were. As they were performing, I caught eyes with Sehun. I noticed them widening a little in surprise but he continued performing. And every once in a while, I’d meet them again.

I sighed to myself, hating the fact that I can’t even stay mad at him even after what he said. Here I was, proudly and happily watching him dancing on that stage. God I love him a lot, huh.

When the performance came to an end, their fans screamed louder than they already were. The boys took a bow, taking the time to thank the audience and saying goodbye before starting to move backstage. I decided not to go backstage since they might be rushed somewhere by the staff, so I started to make my way out of the venue and back home for the night.

-------

When I woke up the next morning, something felt off. The sun barely shone as I prepared to get ready for work. I made a move to get out of bed but found arms wrapped around my waist, keeping me in place. He released a groan in protest when I tried to move again.

How long has it been since we’ve slept like this? His hold got tighter as I wrapped an arm around his own.

“Sehun, I need to go take out the trash before the truck drives by. And I have work in 30 minutes.” I shook his arm but he still refused to let go. Instead, he gently moved to turn me around to face him before pulling me closer once again.

“You don’t have to. I took it out last night before I went to bed. And I also used your phone to ask your coworker if she can cover your shift today since you’re seriously sick.” through the dim light in the room I could see the sleepy smirk on his face. My eyebrow raised as I watched him. I could see the playful glint in his drowsy eyes.

“Seriously sick? But I feel fi-” his finger came to touch my lips, making me pause my words. “Yeah you are. That’s why we’re staying home together today. So that I can be with you, aaaallllll day long. And since you don’t have work tomorrow, we’ll get to be together even longer.”

“Sehun, what’s going on?” I asked him as he threw his right leg over my body, effectively keeping me in his hold. His warm, secure, embrace made me yawn.

“Nothing’s going on, babe. I’m just trying to make up to my beautiful, deserving girlfriend for my behavior the past few weeks. To let her know how sorry I am for making her feel so horrible.” he planted a kiss onto my forehead, trailing down to place another one on the tip of my nose and ending up at my lips.

“Hun, you don’t have to do that. Your schedule is so packed already, what are the members gonna say?” I whispered, before placing my head on his chest, my arms slowly coming up to wrap around his waist. He laughed before reaching back to open his phone and show me the messages he received from the boys. Most were threats which I knew were empty because they would never do that to their precious maknae. I giggled while reading Chanyeol’s messages about; ‘What it takes to keep a woman, dummy.’. What made my full out laugh was Kyungsoo’s short and simple message; ‘Do you want to die?’

“Yes I do. The members gave me an ass whooping after the show yesterday before I could even tell them I planned to be with you for the next two days. Thank you for coming to watch us last night…I was hoping you’d come backstage but I understand why you didn’t.” he gave my lips a kiss once more.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get longer than two days. I asked for a week but my manager said no and left me many...many..voicemails.” I giggled at him before shaking my head.

“Two days is great, Sehun.”

“Good. Now, let’s make the most of it by sleeping till noon.” he gave me another kiss before we were both dozing off once again.

------------------------------------

I have no words :)

MASTERLIST

123 notes · View notes

ipaintwithwords · 3 years

Text

Christmas Short Story Exchange

Wolves Without Teeth

Fandoms: Life is Strange, Life is Strange 2 Characters: Sean Diaz, Lyla Park, Daniel Diaz, Chloe Price, David Madsen (mention), Brody Holloway (mention) Tags: Post-Redemption Ending, Post-Save Arcadia Bay Ending, light angst with happy ending, mentions of depression/antidepressants, reminiscing, ambiguous/open ending, POV heavy, pretty scenery and dogs and ghosts

And I run from wolves breathing heavily at my feet And I run from wolves tearing into me without teeth

♪♫♪♫♪♫

Millions of stars lit up the vast, deep indigo canvas of the night sky along the coast of Oregon. It was a quiet, peaceful night, the kind that was made for intimate strolls and heartwarming conversations and marveling at the beauty of the ocean, hand in hand, barefoot on the shore, accompanied by the light April breeze and the soft whispers of the waves. It was made for campfires and laughter, grilled fish and cold beer, and acoustic guitar covers of songs that people don’t listen to enough on Spotify, even though they really should - it was a night made for moments ephemeral and eternal at the same time, a series of overexposed polaroid images in the sand.

However, for the young man driving under the endless rows of majestic pine trees, the night was but a spectacular backdrop for his hours spent on the road. Slightly more memorable than the day before, and infinitely longer than any other day of the past week he’s spent driving, one hand on the wheel, the other one either stroking the gentle crosswind with a cigarette between his fingers or buried in the thick, brown fur of the adolescent wolfdog snoozing on the passenger’s seat, curled up like a content, well-fed little roll with her favorite blanket between her front paws.

That night, he was holding onto the wheel with both hands. Eyes fixated on the highway, his anxiety was skyrocketing in his chest, flooding the back of his mind with dark thoughts and his head with an unbearable migraine, building up slowly but steadily, creeping into his skull, even the empty - and otherwise numb - socket of his left eye. Not that he was a stranger to headaches, but unlike all his past encounters with nasty migraines, this time he had no idea what to blame: the cigarettes, the lack of sleep, all the synthetic food he shoved down his throat the past few days, his ridiculous deadline drawing near by the minute… Or perhaps the fact that for the first time in fifteen agonizingly long years, he was back on a road he never thought will see again.

The only difference was that this time, he was on his own. There was no comforting presence beside him, no hula dancer figurine on top of the dashboard, no excited chatter coming from a kid high on adrenaline on the backseat. It was just him and the shores of Oregon, his sad music and his snoring dog (who wasn’t exactly the chatty kind, which, honestly speaking, never truly bothered him; he adopted her for the very same reason) and this stubborn, intrusive, demanding migraine that seemed to have made a cozy little home for itself in his forehead like it was meant to live out the rest of its life under his skin. And somehow, it managed to grow even stronger when out of the blue, the music was interrupted by the steady, low buzzing of his phone.

All of a sudden, violent waves of frustration crashed down over him as he took a quick glance at the device’s screen. Tightening his grip on the wheel until his nails started digging irritated crescents into the faux leather, he grit his teeth while staring at his phone, its buzzing resonating in his temples as if someone was trying to drill into his brain. The buzzing lasted for a solid two minutes before the screen would finally turn dark again and the pulsating sensation in his temples quieted down a little - only giving him a few moments of calm and quiet, though, as his phone started ringing again the moment he was about to sigh in relief.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”, he grunted loudly in anger, waking the peacefully sleeping wolfdog pup with either his hoarse voice or the annoyed dash of his hand as he reached out for his phone to pick up the incoming call and be over with it as fast as possible. He knew exactly what’s coming for him, and he was in the mood for anything but fighting with his best friend on the phone right now.

“What the fuck, man?!”, hissed a young woman on the other end of the call with a furious whisper-shout, as soon as he pushed the green button. “Are you being serious with me right now? Where the fuck are you, Sean?”, she hissed, and Sean heard a door slamming shut behind her, most likely the backyard door, to be precise, as she stormed out of the kitchen for a smoke.

“You knew I’ll be busy this weekend”, much to his surprise, he magically managed to keep his voice calm and his words collected when he answered after a few moments of hesitation. “I DMed you and I also texted the group chat yest-”

“Yeah, and I thought you’re just trying to back out of going to Walmart with us!”, his feeble attempt of coming up with explanations was met with an angry snap from the young woman. “And I actually can’t believe that we’re having this conversation? Like I can’t comprehend the fact that for whatever fucked up reason, you are actually ditching your own brother’s birthday weekend”, she scoffed, lighting up a cigarette with two impatient click-clacks of a cheap 7-Eleven lighter.

“I have a deadline, Lyla, and it seems like you’re the only person who can’t accept that”, answered Sean with a deep, resigned sigh, only trying to resist the sudden urge of smoking for a brief second before he rolled down the window and reached for his cigarette case. “I talked to Daniel about it, alright? He was the first person I called”, he murmured under his nose, shoving a crooked cigarette between his lips. “And to be honest, I still don’t understand why you guys insisted on throwing this huge ass party for him for an entire weekend... Y’all know he prefers his PS4 and pizza over twenty of us being all over him for three days, right?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was me who’s about to ruin his birthday! Fuck, man, thanks, now I can see that it was me all along”, Lyla let out a burst of dry laughter, more threatening than the sharpest blades in the world. “You are unbelievable, Sean.”

“I’m doing everyone a favor by skipping, y’know”, said Sean, sticking his hand out the window, unleashing the tiny smoke-dragons of his cigarette into the night. “‘Cause let’s be real, we both know that it’s me who’d ruin his birthday” he added with a shrug, making Lyla snort in disbelief.

“I can’t think of a single reason why his favorite person in the world would do that, so please enlighten me with your wisdom, Sean-Wise”, suddenly, her tone softened, bringing a massive lump to Sean’s throat.

“The last thing he needs right now is his useless, depressed brother”, he answered quietly, unable to resist the suffocating grip of anxiety on his neck. “And thankfully, he understands that his useless, depressed brother needs to submit an unreasonable amount of work ‘til next Wednesday, so… Yeah. We’re both doing each other a favor, to be honest.”

“Sean, I… Useless? Why would y- What do you even… Hollup for a sec” sighed Lyla, slightly frustrated, as a small voice suddenly called for her. “Yes, baby, what’s up?”, she said, words and smile warmer than the morning sun, and Sean couldn’t help but smile too when he heard her switch to Korean the next moment, most likely reaching for her daughter Hannah, and gently pushing a strand of dark, silky hair behind her ear like she always did.

“Sorry for that, Miss Thing is getting cranky because she only ate five times today”, Lyla returned to the call after a good minute, and Sean could clearly see her roll her eyes as the door shut close behind Hannah. “So where were we…”

“You were about to give me a Ted Talk on self-love because I called myself useless”, said Sean with a faint smile, before carefully flicking the cigarette butt out the window. Lyla didn’t answer immediately, at least not with words - her silence, on the other hand, was heavy with worry, a calm before the storm Sean knew too well. After all, thirty-three years of friendship teaches a thing or two about another person, especially a friendship like theirs was.

“You know, I had a feeling this is gonna happen”, when Lyla finally broke the silence, she couldn’t conceal the sad, resigned bitterness in her voice. “At least tell me where you are, man…”

“I’m in Oregon… Driving along the coast, actually”, Sean answered, giving his dog an affectionate scratch behind the ear, and making her turn her all-knowing, golden eyes from the night view on him. “Don’t worry, I’m not alone. Chestnut’s here too.”

“Dude, she didn’t even bark when she heard my voice”, said Lyla, with a very obvious and even more dramatic pout on her face. “But wait, what the fuck are you doing there? In Oregon?”, she asked, and this time, it was her confused frown that Sean could see crystal clear as if Lyla was sitting right next to her.

For a brief moment, he truly wished she was.

“I’m chasing ghosts”, when he spoke eventually, it felt as if there was someone else talking with his mouth, unseen powers forcing the air out of his lungs and his tongue and teeth to form the words that echoed for a seemingly endless moment in the car and inside Sean’s head.

And before he could even blink, the echo sunk even deeper, into the darkest pits of his scarred, hurt, lonely soul, as he found himself staring at the unmistakable silhouette of Arcadia Bay in the distance after a slight turn in the road.

He spent the night at Otter Point, in his car, right next to the very same visitors plaque he broke down at, for the first time since fleeing Seattle on that nightmarish afternoon all those years ago, to a man he just met - a man who changed everything, although fifteen years later, Sean wasn’t sure anymore that it was for the better. He wasn’t sure whether he’d still be alive at all if it wasn’t for Brody and his golden heart that night, but he was certain of one thing: that compared to all the horrible things that happened to him, to them, death would’ve been but a merciful release.

Death didn’t come for them, however, at least not in its form that’s known to most people. Instead of taking them, it decided to befriend the Wolf Brothers and tag along on their journey, from the suburbs of Seattle to the iron gates of the Mexican border - and after that, the lifeless, ashen grey walls of a suffocatingly small prison cell in Washington. It was there that night too, in Sean’s car, a worn, cherry-red station wagon just like Brody’s, and inside his head, too, buried deep under the quiet, unsteady chaos of his thoughts. It was in every breath he took, every pill he swallowed, every minute he spent awake wondering what is he even doing, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing that could make it go away, that could make death change it’s stubborn mind and to leave Sean Diaz alone, because, throughout the years, it simply grew too fond of him.

And with time, Sean just… Accepted it. He accepted being handpicked by death itself and stopped fighting it because no matter how hard he tried to avoid it, to get rid of it, to pretend that everything was fine, nothing helped; nothing but the acceptance and the handfuls of numbing bitterness he consumed at least two yellow tubes of each month for the past, God knows how many years. Of course, things could’ve been a lot worse, and Sean was fully aware of that - he knew that he was extremely privileged for being able to settle back into society relatively easily after being released from his sentence of nearly two decades spent in one of the country’s biggest federal prisons.

Frankly speaking, it wasn’t about settling back into society as much as it was about doing something he secretly always dreamed of, even before the story of the Wolf Brothers began on that chilly Friday afternoon, in a completely ordinary, perfectly average October of a past, long-lost life. In fact, if someone told sixteen-year-old Sean that everything that’s about to happen to him will eventually lead to a new life in which he is a comic book artist who gets paid for drawing the weird shit in his head, sixteen-year-old Sean would’ve probably laughed until his stomach hurt and happy tears started rolling down his cheek.

And yet, there he was that morning, on top of a hill above the Oregon coast, moderately enjoying his cheap instant coffee in the back of his station wagon (and after a glance at his peaky-faced reflection in the mirror, extremely judging his lack of self-discipline regarding taking care of his beard) while waiting for his tablet to charge fully so he can proceed with the next strips for the fifth chapter of The Adventures of the Pack. Chestnut was running around in excited circles, chasing grasshoppers and butterflies and occasionally, her tail, not particularly minding either her owner or the breathtaking view of the coast, and along with it, the quiet town of Arcadia Bay.

At first, he didn’t even think of making a stop at a seemingly insignificant place like Otter Point on his not-so-spontaneous journey - for some much-needed inspiration or for bittersweet reminiscence, he wasn’t entirely sure anymore -, but while going through dozens of maps and routes and painful memories on a sleepless night before his trip, he stumbled upon a picture Daniel sent him for one of his birthdays spent in prison. A picture from Away, to be precise, of a cozy little bonfire and four people with marshmallow sticks in their hands and tipsy smiles on their faces - a picture that kept him up awake for the whole night, with tears stuck halfway in his throat, desperately trying to fight their way through the walls Sean has built around himself. And the moment he saw David in the picture, he decided that after all the phone calls and visits and almost fatherly check-ins from the man throughout the past fifteen years, the least he can do is stopping in David’s hometown for a quick page or two on his way down South.

“Man, it must be tough being you”, Sean chuckled as he put his empty mug on the small writing desk in the corner of his on-the-go bedroom, looking at Chestnut playing in the dry dirt alongside the road with a wide, amused smile on his face. “Careful, though… I’d rather not break my neck trying to rescue you if you fall down” he added, climbing out of the back of his car with nimble reflexes, the sudden movement answered with excited bark coming from the wolfdog pup.

“Would you look at that”, said Sean with an impressed little snort, walking up to the fence and bending over to rest his arms on it, eyes roaming the endless, unbelievably blue ocean and the gentle waves washing up against the pale sands of Arcadia Bay’s shores. “Can’t decide if it’s beautiful or the most boring shit I’ve ever seen, to be honest… What d’ya think, huh?”, he raised his eyebrows, peeking down at Chestnut yelping next to him, and giving her a loving scratch behind the ears. “Come, check this out”, he beckoned to the visitors plaque next to them with his chin, patting Chestnut’s side gently as he stepped up to the laminated board, full of colorful images of the local wildlife and the town’s various attractions.

“Yeah? That’s where you wanna go?”, he laughed, as Chestnut suddenly stood up on her rear legs, front paws propped against the plaque, curious golden eyes fixated on the picture of Arcadia Bay’s imposing lighthouse. “Y’know what, why the fuck not, we got all the time in the world… At least ‘til next Wednesday'' Sean sighed, looking up from the slightly faded photograph to the actual lighthouse in the distance, peeking out from countless majestic pine trees, its bright, white light rotating with a slow and steady speed on the opposite end of the bay on top of a cliff.

There was something strange, something unsettling about the tall, robust tower that Sean couldn’t exactly put his finger on. He found himself staring at the lighthouse as if it held all the secrets, all the answers to all the questions he’s been searching for all his life - he couldn’t move, he couldn’t blink, he couldn’t even catch his breath for what felt like an eternity, even though it was but a mere moment. As if something was calling him, an invisible, eerie force locking his eyes on the lighthouse, Sean just stood there petrified, and if it wasn’t for Chestnut and her eager little woof startling him back to reality, he probably would’ve stayed there like that until sunset.

“Yeah, why the fuck not”, he murmured under his nose, shaking his head like he just woke from a weird dream as he turned away from Arcadia Bay and walked up to his car, trying to ignore the uncanny tingling in the back of his head - and the unmistakable feeling of being watched by a pair of all-seeing, otherworldly eyes.

It took surprisingly long to get to the other side of the bay from Otter Point. By the time Sean reached the lighthouse, the sun was high in the spotless blue sky, radiating its warm light so dazzlingly he had to shield his eyes with his hand as he exited the car. He parked the station wagon in a small clearing surrounded by fragrant, sky-high pine trees, at the bottom of a meandrous set of wooden stairs half-eaten by the soil, and began his short hike up to the lighthouse with Chestnut trotting by his side. The forest around them was peaceful and bustling with cheerful and welcoming Spring life; they saw busy bees and chirping birds and dancing butterflies everywhere as they made their way uphill, following the glimmering sunspots on the ground.

“Alright, same rules apply, okay? No running along the edge, it’s rocky down there”, said Sean when they reached the top of the stairs, grabbing Chestnut’s collar the very last minute before the pup could just storm off to explore the uncharted territory. “Stay… Staaay…”, he raised his eyebrows as the pup looked up at him with giant eyes full of excited sparkles, wagging her tail like the clearing in front of her was the last one on Earth to roam. “Good girl. Run along now, but carefully, please”, he said after a moment or two, as he let go of Chestnut, watching her dart off as a fired arrow with a proud, fatherly smile on his face before following the pup to the clearing.

The lighthouse stood tall on the edge of the cliff, watching over Arcadia Bay like a robust, all-seeing guardian. Seeing the tower up close, Sean felt the same magnetic energy that practically hypnotized him from all the way across the bay, only this time, he felt it ten folds stronger, as he stood there and stared at the lighthouse, tilting his head back as much as he could to take in the breathtaking sight in all its mesmerizing entirety. It felt like he arrived in another dimension where time didn’t work as it did on his own; as if a heavy, velvety curtain fell on the world, closing around the cliff and creating an odd, languid void where the pace of time just wasn’t the same. It was quiet, yes, peaceful, even, but at the same time, the air was strangely disturbed, unsettling and mysterious - and eerily inviting.

After what felt like half a lifetime of staring at the lighthouse, Sean noticed a worn bench on the edge of the cliff. He watched Chestnut sweep across the clearing, very much occupied with chasing something that looked like an azure-blue butterfly at first glance, before walking up to the bench and sitting down on it, turning his gaze towards the magnificent view of the bay below him as he reached for his cigarette case in his pocket. With the first puff of bitter smoke, he closed his eyes, and for a while, he just listened to the waves crashing against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff and the squawking of a few stray seagulls circling around the lantern room, before bringing himself to unzip his backpack and pull out his tablet and sketchbook from the messy depths of it.

He only hesitated for a brief moment before he put the tablet back in his bag, and along with it, his deadlines and professional responsibilities, settling with his trusted sketchbook instead. He preferred drawing on actual paper with an actual pen anyway, and he felt like procrastinating a little before letting his work swallow him in one bite. Flipping through dozens of pages of unfinished drawings until he finally reached a blank page, Sean started sketching Arcadia Bay with strainless ease, his eye constantly moving back and forth between the sketchbook and the view until the chaos of thin, black lines started to come together and he didn’t have to look anymore.

And this is when the time truly stopped around him, as it always did when Sean took the pen. It was just him and his vision of the world under the sun, and of course, Chestnut running around the clearing, her lanky, brown form always somewhere in the corner of his eye.

“You’re really pressed about this butterfly, aren’t you”, he chuckled as Chestnut ran across his feet relentlessly, making Sean look up from the content little wolf he’s been sketching for a while without even realizing that he started adding it to the drawing. He didn’t even notice anymore, since this was the case with many, if not most of his drawings - as if he was physically incapable of finishing a drawing without wolves in it, or for that matter, drawing for someone who wasn’t his brother.

“I mean, it’s a pretty fucking stunning butterfly if you ask me”, answered a mischievous voice beside him, completely out of the blue, startling Sean so unexpectedly that he almost fell off the bench.

“De puta madr-!!”, he exclaimed in fright as he turned his head, and the next moment, he found himself staring at a young, slim girl, leaning against the crooked fence on the edge of the cliff. “I mean, ugh Jesus. Sorry, I didn’t see you there” he added quickly, clearing his throat as he looked the girl up and down, wondering how long has it been since she got there - and most importantly, how in the world didn’t he notice her when she arrived.

“It’s kinda rare that anyone does, to be honest” shrugged the girl, stepping away from the fence, piercing blue eyes shifting from Sean’s colorless face to the sketchbook in his lap. She was tall and slender, wearing ripped jeans with a leather jacket and a black beanie, electric blue hair framing her narrow, elfish face. She looked like she was in her late teens, early twenties, maybe, and even though Sean was certain he’s never seen her before, somehow it felt like he’s known the girl for his entire life. “What are you drawing? Can I see?”

“Sure, take a look” he said, scooting over a little so the girl could sit next to her. “It’s a… I don’t even know what, that started off as a landscape sketch” he explained, scratching the inner corner of his empty eye socket and suddenly wishing he put on his eyepatch before coming up to the lighthouse. The girl, however, was way too invested in his sketchbook to even notice that there was something unusual about his appearance, and even if she did, she didn’t seem to be taken aback by it - or at least she didn’t feel the urge to stare, unlike most people Sean has met throughout his life.

“This is really cool, dude” the girl said after a while, looking up at him with a wide, impressed grin before turning her gaze back to Sean’s drawing. “Are you like, an artist or something?”

“Artist is an overstatement but yeah, I draw comics for a living” Sean answered, reaching out for Chestnut when he noticed the pup is running towards him. “This one isn’t for work though. It’s a… Gift. For my brother”, he added, his smile suddenly fading with the words, and not returning even when Chestnut wriggled her way in between his legs and placed her head in his lap, staring up at him with giant puppy eyes.

“Something gives me the impression that he’s the small one”, the girl chuckled, pointing at the younger wolf on Sean’s drawing, chasing a butterfly on the edge of the cliffside looking over Arcadia Bay, next to his bigger, scruffier, one-eyed brother, relaxing under a pine tree.

“I have no idea what makes you say that” said Sean with a faint smile on his face, gently fondling Chestnut’s head in his lap. “The older I get, the more it feels like it’s the other way around, to be honest”, he sighed quietly, feeling his entire chest harden all of a sudden as he took a glance at his sketchbook between the long nails of the strange girl next to her.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” asked the girl bluntly the next moment, carefully closing Sean’s sketchbook and putting it between them on the bench. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in Arcadia Bay before, and that’s pretty shocking considering that we’re talking about a town of 200 people where nothing ever happens…”

“Yeah, I’m just traveling. Thought I’d drive through town and check out the view from here” Sean answered, and as he pulled out another cigarette from his pocket, he couldn’t help but notice the sudden sparks of longing in the girl’s eyes. “You want one?”

“Not gonna lie, I could kill for a smoke… But no thanks. I… Can’t”, the girl gulped, watching with eager eyes as Sean reluctantly put the cigarette in his mouth. “Oh, no, it’s okay, I don’t mind. The smell’s gonna do the trick” she said, exhaling the smoke of the first huff with a strange, almost euphoric smile as Sean lit his cigarette at last.

“Oh man… You got some superior shit right there” she said, her smile slowly growing into a content, wide grin. “But anyway… As much as Arcadia Bay is the most boring shithole in the whole wide world, I hope your trip was worth it in the end.”

“Sounds like you lived here for a while, huh?”, Sean asked, eyebrows raised, to which the girl let out a sarcastic snort. “Oof. That bad?”

“There are no words to describe just how bad, my dude” the girl answered, shaking her head and wrapping her arms around her long legs pulled up to her chest. “I’ve been stuck here my whole fucking life. Wanted to leave since I was fourteen” she continued, the playful cheer suddenly leaving her voice and leaving behind gloomy shadows on her face. “Should’ve gotten the fuck outta here the first chance I got”, she said sourly, planting her chin between her knees and staring blankly in the distance, to a faraway place Sean couldn’t follow her to - and even if he could, he wouldn’t want to.

“So why didn’t you?”, Sean blurted out before thinking twice, but before he could even think of a way to apologize for possibly having crossed a line, the girl laughed out loud and dry.

“Have a wild guess, dude. ‘Cause of love, of course”, she snorted again, only this time, sarcasm was replaced with something much darker in her tone. “I was just waiting for the right time y’know. Back then, I had no idea that no such thing exists. Not for anything, not for anyone. There is just you and time, and time is nothing but a massive fucking trap, waiting for you to get stuck in it” she said, eyes darker than the coldest nights of winter. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to explode like that.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for anything”, Sean shook his head, placing his burnt-out cigarette butt under the bench next to the previous one. “I’m just not sure I get what you mean.”

“No worries, I wouldn’t expect you to get it anyway” the girl shrugged, and the next moment, she turned her gaze to Sean, all-seeing blue eyes staring right into his soul. “You know, people hardly ever come to the lighthouse anymore, except when they should be somewhere else. And even if they come, they barely notice me. It’s nice that you did. And that you listened, too. I’m not sure where you’re supposed to be now, but I’m glad you’re here” she smiled, patting Sean’s hand with a surprisingly cold palm briefly, retreating almost immediately as he shuddered next to her.

“Yeah, I’m glad I took a little detour too” he smiled back at the girl before his glance wandered off to his sketchbook lying between them on the bench. “But I think I should get going now. I’d love to stay and chat, but… I’m ridiculously late already”, he added, a concerned frown taking over the upper half of his face, and a bewildered grin the lower, as somehow, at that moment, he realized there’s a chance that perhaps he has given into the nonsense of his own depression slightly more than he should have in the first place.

“Yeah, you probably are”, said the girl with a playful wink, standing up from the bench and stretching her long arms above her head. “Man, what a spectacular fucking afternoon. I mean, look at the Sun. Such a radiant bitch boss, for real”, she declared lovingly, making Sean laugh out loud for the first time in the past few days, or even weeks, maybe.

“Need a lift?”, Sean asked the girl as they turned their backs on the lighthouse, and started walking towards the staircase leading to the small clearing at the bottom of the cliff.

“Nah, thanks, but I’m not done here yet”, the girl said, shoving both her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans. “Got some wandering to do, y’know… Contemplating the beauty of Spring and all” she looked at him with a somewhat shy smile, and Sean decided not to risk crossing any more lines with any more questions.

“I guess this is where we part ways then” he nodded his head when they reached his station wagon, waiting patiently next to the tourist map of the cliff. “Enjoy contemplating the beauty of Spring, I guess?”, he smiled at the girl, opening the door of the passenger’s seat for Chestnut.

“Yeah, thanks, man. You take care too, okay?” answered the girl, and the next moment, before Sean could say anything, her eyes suddenly widened. “And don’t forget to sketch up a cool portrait of me or something if you got the time, will you?”

“Stop reading my mind, a’ight?” Sean laughed, waving at the girl before sitting in his car, a sudden burst of energy washing over him as the door closed behind him. The urge to drive as fast as he just can was stronger than he’s ever felt it before, but somehow, he managed to control it, closing his eyes and leaning back on his seat for a long, silent moment before reaching for his phone. Swiping away dozens of notifications, he then opened his contacts and pressed call on the first name on top of the list - the only number he’s ever called, really.

The ringing stopped right after he pressed his phone between his ear and shoulder, and turned the car key under the steering wheel.

“Hey enano. I’m on my way.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Hey! Thank you for reading! ❤

This short story is my contribution to a Christmas Short Story Exchange we did with my best friends. (It is also my first ever fanfiction in English!) I was writing for one of my best friends who got me into Life is Strange years ago, so when we pulled each other’s names and I found out I’m writing for her, I immediately knew that I’ll work with the Diaz brothers and Chloe.

2020 Christmas Short Story Exchange Word count: 5353 | Written December 22nd-27th. I’m on AO3 now! Head over for more fanfictions. ❤

#fanfiction #Life is Strange #Life is Strange 2 #Sean Diaz #Daniel Diaz #Lyla Park #Chloe Price #Post-Redemption Ending #Post-Save Arcadia Bay Ending #under 10k #story #writing #writers on tumblr #short story #fan fiction #fanfic #light angst

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mamthew · 4 years

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A Final Fantasy Ranking

Over the course of the quarantine, and because I had such a good time with the Final Fantasy VII Remake, I've ended up blazing through a ton of Final Fantasy games. Since April, I've played IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XII, and XIII. 6, 7, 9, and 10 I'd beaten before. 4, 12, and 13 I'd played to some capacity before. 5 and 8 were completely new experiences. I had no interest in going further back than IV, since it was the first one to really put any effort into character work, and I didn't play either MMO because MMOs don't really appeal to me (I'm planning to try XIV whenever this new update drops that makes the story mode more accessible, but it keeps getting pushed back so oh well). I also didn't replay XV because I've played XV three times and watched other people play it in its entirety twice, so I have a much better handle on it than any other game in the series.

Anyway, I didn't really have any plans for what I'd do with this, besides get a better understanding of the series as a whole, but I was kinda inspired to do my own Final Fantasy ranking. I'll probably be a bit more detailed than I should be because I tend to overanalyze my media and end up having too much to say. I’m actually not placing VII Remake in this ranking half because I regard it as a spinoff and half because it’s not yet a complete story, even though Part 1 is unquestionably a complete game. If I were to put it somewhere, it would probably be close to the top, possibly even in second place. Also worth noting that this is gonna have SPOILERS for every game I discuss here. I really just wanna use this as a place to nail down some of my thoughts on these games, so they’re pretty stream of consciousness and I didn’t bother avoiding any details from the plots.

10: Final Fantasy VIII.

I don’t think there’s another game in the series with a more obvious corporate hand in it than VIII. It’s kinda the Fant4stic of FF games; there are the bones of a substantive game in there somewhere, but every aspect of the game is such a bald attempt at checking off a 1999 list of “things gamers want” that the whole affair feels hollow and sickening. A major trend I’ve noticed throughout this series is the extent to which FFVII’s success pushed the architects of almost every subsequent game to try to recapture whatever it was that worked about VII, and VIII got the worst of it. It’s got the sullen guy with a special sword. It’s got the sci-fi. It’s got the terrorists with hearts of gold fighting against an oppressive state. It’s got the train scenes. It’s got the case(s) of amnesia that hides the true premise of the story. It’s got the ability to give any character any loadout.

Besides that, they kinda crammed in just a bunch of stuff popular with kids at the time. Jurassic Park? It’s in there. Beauty and the Beast? Here’s the ballroom scene. Hunchback of Notre Dame? Here’s that carnival. Alien? Now you’re alone on a spaceship running away from a horror monster. Saving Private Ryan? The party shares brains with war veterans and dreams of their experiences at war I guess. Half of anime? It’s all about a high school for mercenaries and the party is trying to get back in time for the school festival. Fandom culture? Zines are a collectible item, and each one you find adds an update to Selphie's Geocities page. It also has astronauts, and transformers, and a haunted castle, and a prison break, and Rome, and Alpine Wakanda, and war crimes, and lion cubs that have attained enlightenment, and there’s almost no connective tissue from one idea to the next.

Also the junction system is convoluted and terrible, using magic makes your stats worse, all enemies level up every time you do, and I couldn’t tell you which character excelled in what stats. The characters were all very flat, and the first time I felt like I was seeing the characters interact in ways that helped me to understand them was in the cutscene that plays during the end credits.

Also the female lead’s role in the story changes entirely with no warning every five hours or so. She’s a terrorist, oh no she’s aristocracy in the country she’s terroristing against, oh no she’s jealous of the others because they grew up together and she didn’t, oh no she’s Sandra Bullock in Gravity, oh no she’s the villain and it’s too dangerous to let her out, oh no it’s actually fine and they were bad for locking her up.

It’s an absolute disaster of a game. However, the music and background art is absolutely beautiful. Maybe they never gave me a good enough reason to be in an evil time traveling haunted castle, but damn is it a gorgeous rendering of an evil time traveling haunted castle.

9: Final Fantasy XII.

I’ve known for years that FFXII had issues in development. The writers came up with a story for it, and execs got scared because there were no young characters and they’d convinced themselves that young protagonists are what makes games sell. So two more characters - Vaan and Penelo - were added, one was framed as the protagonist of the story, and the entire story was rewritten so it could feasibly be from his perspective.

While the two characters they added are egregiously tangential to the plot, XII honestly has no protagonist. The writers originally wanted Basch to be the protagonist, but his entire arc is really just following Ashe around and being sad about his evil twin. Ashe is probably the most important to the story, but doesn’t have much presence for a good chunk of the story, and makes her most character-defining choice offscreen before having it stolen from her by a side character. Balthier has the largest presence in the story, and is most closely related to most of the events of the story, but has pretty much no role in the ending.

Honestly, if I were writing FFXII and told it needed a young protagonist, I would have aged up and expanded the role of Larsa, the brother of the main villain, who shows up as a temporary party member from time to time. The entire game is about family ties, and a journey spotlighting Larsa could have involved his learning about Ashe, Basch, Balthier and Fran’s family situations and using their experiences to grapple with his own. Damn, now I’m sitting here thinking about how good that could have been.

As it is, the game feels disjointed and aimless, and the ending is so bad it’s farcical. When I reached the ending, I watched Basch and Ashe forgive Basch’s evil twin for his villainy rampage, harking back to the moment earlier in the game when Ashe turned down the chance to gain powers that would have allowed her to avenge her country because she realized that those powers could also drive her to hurt innocents in the crossfire. In this moment, I realized how Vaan fit in as the protagonist of the game. “Oh, he’s going to realize that violence begets violence, and that he must break the cycle by forgiving Vayne for the death of his brother. He’s going to let go of that hatred he’s been trying to push onto someone for so long, and it’ll finally allow him to heal.” I realized that even though the road to this point was rocky, the writers had managed to craft a satisfying ending from the seemingly disparate pieces of this uneven plot.

And then Vaan picked up a sword and screamed AAAAAAAAAAA and charged Vayne down and stabbed him, and Vayne turned into a shrapnel robot dragon and exploded all the star wars ships and I threw my controller aside and laughed uncontrollably while my characters beat him up and completed the game on their own without any further input from me.

Oh yeah, the battle system is also incredibly boring. Instead of battling, the player writes up an AI script for each character, then lets them act based on those scripts. I would straight up put the controller down and watch youtube videos whenever a group of enemies showed up. I was pretty excited about the job system, but then there didn’t really feel like much of a difference between jobs, and my characters all behaved pretty much the same as each other.

The hands-off battle system, unfocused story, lethargic voice acting, and tuneless music all left me pretty uninvested in the whole affair. The art style and locations are beautiful, though, and it did make me want to eventually check out some of the Tactics games, which take place in the same universe but are supposed to have excellent stories and gameplay.

8: Final Fantasy XIII.

I’m not sure I’ve ever had two such opposing opinions of a game’s story vs. its gameplay. This game is the only one that plays with a bunch of story elements from FFIX, which did a lot to endear it to me. It’s sort of a game in which the protagonists are Kuja, the villain of IX. Like Kuja, they are created as tools by an uncaring god for the purpose of fighting against one world on behalf of another world, and are subsequently forced to grapple with the horrors of having an artificially shortened lifespan.

The story actually has a lot of Leftist themes, too. The gods of that universe spread ideology among the populace, and the people unquestioningly believe these false stories, as the gods have provided for them for as long as there has been written history. Much of the character arcs center on the characters being forcibly removed from their places within those ideological frameworks and having to unlearn what they’d always believed to be objectively true about the world.

So the story actually is pretty good, but it’s held back by some really clumsy storytelling; it constantly uses undefined jargon, has almost no side characters with which it might flesh out the world, actively fights against players trying to glean information from environmental details, and maintains (at least for me) a weird disconnect between the characters in the gameplay and the characters in the cutscenes. I think this partly stems from Square’s original failed plan for FFXIII to be the first game in a much larger series of games sharing themes and major story details. Despite these issues, however, the characters are all likeable and (mostly) believable, and their interactions are grounded in real emotional weight even while their universe feels intangible.

This all got dragged down by the gameplay, which is total dogshit. It’s got the worst battle system I think I’ve seen in an RPG. The game only stops being doggedly, unflinchingly linear about thirty hours in, the whole game took me about fifty hours, and I spent the last fifteen hours beating my head against each individual battle, waiting until the system hiccuped long enough to accidentally slide me a win. That meant I had about a five hour window of euphoric play, convinced that I actually loved this game, thrilled with every new experience it gave me, and excited to see what would happen next. I guess those five hours are what pushed this game over XII in my ranking.

7: Final Fantasy V.

Until FFXV, this game was the last of the “Warriors of Light” games, in which the game follows a party of four set characters for its entirety. To this day, it’s the last of the “Warriors of Light” games to let the player customize which character holds which roles through the job system.

FFV’s job system is the reason to play the game. Its story is mediocre, and its characters are all fairly flat, but there’s something viscerally satisfying about building party members up in jobs that might enhance the role they ultimately will fill. For my mage character, I maxed out Black Mage, Blue Mage, Mystic Knight, Summoner, and Geomancer. Then at the end, I switched her to a Freelancer with Black Magic and Summoning, and she kept all the passive skills for those jobs and also the highest stats across those jobs.

It was super fun and kind of a shift of focus for me, since I tend to place story above anything else in games. Despite the story not being special, though, the game’s writing is actually a ton of fun. It’s definitely got the most comic relief in the series, and I came away loving Gilgamesh as much as everyone else does.

And while it’s nothing special graphically, it does have some really cool enemy designs, and the final boss design is one of the most memorable ones they’ve ever done. Which is impressive because I keep having to look up Exdeath’s name because the character himself is super forgettable.

6: Final Fantasy IV.

This wasn’t the first game in the series to feature actual characters with names and depth, but I have no interest in playing FFII, so it might as well be. I actually played the DS Remake for this game, so it definitely had some quality of life improvements, like full 3d characters and maps, voice acting, an updated script, the ability to actually see the ATB gauge, and the ability to switch to other characters whose turns are ready without using a turn.

Apparently one thing the remake didn’t do was rebalance the difficulty for more modern sensibilities. Instead, this remake is...harder? It requires more grinding than the original? Why??

Either way, though, the story is actually solid! The game opens on its protagonist, Cecil, committing a war crime on the orders of his king, who raised him as a child. The first ten hours of so of the game follows Cecil as he tries to understand why he was ordered to kill so many innocents, turns his back on his country, and works to redeem himself.

This arc is reinforced by the game mechanics, too, which is super clever. His redemption is marked by a change in job from a Dark Knight to a Paladin, which also resets his level. For a time, his life is considerably harder because he’s finding his footing as a new person, which is marked by battles which had been easy becoming much harder for the player for a time.

This game places storytelling over gameplay more than I think any other game in the series. Each character is locked into a job, which I much prefer in my RPGs to games where characters function pretty much interchangeably. I dunno if it’s because I cut my RPG teeth on Tales, but it really bugs me when I can give Tifa the exact same loadout as Barret. I want the lives of the characters to bleed into their functions as gameplay devices.

However, the developers clearly had a ton of different jobs they wanted to add to their game, but hadn’t figured out how to allow for the player to switch in and out party members in standby. To fix this, they increased the in-battle party to five characters rather than or four (or the later constantly frustrating three), rotated the roster a ton, and had a ton of characters who straight up leave permanently. One character dies and never comes back. Two characters die and only are revived after it’s too late to rejoin the party. Four characters end up too injured to continue traveling.

This let the developers make a ton of jobs, but it doesn’t let the player exploit these jobs to their fullest. Characters’ stats reflect their role in the story, as well. One character is quickly aging out of adventuring, so his magic stats increase on levels, but his attack and defense stats actually decrease, signifying his failing body. Another character has already achieved some form of enlightenment, so he gains no stats when he levels up at all. The purpose of IV is the story, over any other aspect of the game, which makes it even more mindboggling that the remake would have increased the difficulty.

Besides that, the biggest issue I had with this game was the overbearing constant drama of it. While there were a few more lighthearted parts, they were mostly relegated to NPC dialogue and sidequests. The characters in this game don’t become friends so much as they become companions who bonded over shared tragedies, and this makes for quite a few scenes of every character separately wallowing in their own immeasurable sadness. I played FFV directly after this game and the light story and jokey dialogue was a much-needed palette cleanser.

5: Final Fantasy VI.

Before the unexpected success of FFVII irreparably changed the franchise, Square constantly mixed up the story formula for the series. IV, V and VI all handled their stories really differently from each other, and what I remember of III also felt fairly different from the games that came after.

Every game from VII on had a very clear protagonist (except XII, whose botched protagonist was still clearly marketed as the protagonist). The concept of the Dissidia crossover series is built on the idea that every FF has a protagonist at the center of its story. FFVI’s Dissidia character is Terra, but Terra is not the protagonist of FFVI.

Apparently while developing FFVI, the directors decided they didn’t want the game to have a clear protagonist, so they asked the staff to staff to submit concepts for characters, and they’d use as many as they could. This game has fourteen characters, each with their own fun gameplay gimmick in battles. Three of the characters are secret, and one can permanently die halfway through if the player takes the wrong actions. Of these fourteen characters, the main story heavily revolves around 3-6 of them, while five more have substantial character arcs.

There’s kind of a schism in the fandom over whether this game or VII is the best one in the series, and I can see why; this game is absolutely fascinating. No other game in the series has done what this game did, which means it’s one of the two FF games I really want to see remade after they complete this VII remake.

The first half is very linear. It breaks the beginning party into three pieces, then sends each character to a different continent, where they meet more characters and build their own parties before everyone reunites. Once the story has taken the player everywhere in the world, the apocalypse hits. The villain’s evil plan succeeds and tears the entire world apart.

The second half of the game picks up a year later with one character finally getting a raft and escaping the island on which she’s been marooned. In this half, the player navigates the world, which has all the same locations, but in completely different parts of the map. The driving factor for much of the second half is to learn from incidental dialogue where each party member has gone in this new world, to track them down, and to try to fix some of the bad that’s been done to the world before finally stopping the villain who destroyed it.

It’s unique and clever and occasionally legitimately tugs at the heartstrings some, which is impressive for a poorly translated SNES game. The final dungeon is a masterpiece all on its own. It requires the player to make three parties of up to four characters, then send them in and switch between them as new roads open. This way, the game manages to feel like an ensemble piece up to the very end.

4: Final Fantasy VII.

As I previously mentioned, there’s kind of a schism in the fandom over whether FFVI or FFVII is the best game in the series. Neither is the best game in the series. FFVII is better than FFVI. Oops.

When I was first drafting up this list, it was before I’d reached my replays of VI or VII, and I tentatively placed them next to each other, with the strong assumption that I’d end up placing VI a bit higher than VII, since it has so many strongly differentiated characters with solid story arcs, beautiful artwork, great music, etc. etc. Then I reached FFVII and not even four hours in, I realized it would have to be higher on my list than VI.

VI has a better battle system, its characters are much more differentiated by their gameplay, its character sprites have aged much better than VII’s character models, and it has four party members in battles instead of three. But I couldn’t overlook VII’s gorgeous artwork, sharp character work, and character-driven story. In the end, I had to give it the edge.

VII is a strange beast. It simultaneously really holds up and has aged horribly. The story is excellent and I love the characters, but the actual line-to-line writing is pretty bad, making the whole experience of the game a bit like swimming upstream; you’re getting somewhere good, but the age of the game is still pushing you back the best it can. Similarly, the background artwork is fantastic and gives the game locations a sense of place incomparable to anything that had come before it, but the character models are so low-poly that the two are constantly at odds with each other.

Still, the game is more a good game than it is an old one. I think it’s managed to duck the absurd level of hype around it by actually being very different from what the most popular images of it make it out to be, if that makes sense. The super futuristic techno-dystopia city only makes up a very small portion of the larger game, and most newcomers to the game won’t have seen Junon, or Corel, or Cosmo Canyon. Heck, I didn’t know Cait Sith or Red XIII were characters before I played the game for the first time. One of the many reasons I’m excited for the rest of this remake is to see newcomers to the story learning just how much variety there is to the world, events, and characters of this game.

FFVII also began (and pulled off really well) a number of storytelling trends that continued in subsequent games in the series. Obviously, almost every game since this one has a clear protagonist with a cool sword for cosplayers to recreate, and an androgynous villain whose story is closely linked to the protagonist (or one villain who is linked to the protagonist and a second one whose purpose is to look like Sephiroth), but it’s started broader, more quality shifts, too.

FFVII is the first game in the series to try to give all its characters arcs based on a similar theme, for example, a trend that has helped give it and future games a sense of thematic unity, especially in IX, X, and XV. Heck, that trend was why I almost came around on XII before they nuked it. It was also the first game in the series to have a real ending, rather than closing out with essentially a curtain call featuring all the party members, like they did in IV through VI (and I assume earlier).

Another common feature of FF games that it didn’t start with VII but certainly was canonized with it was the mid-game plot twist tying the protagonist to both the villain and the larger story. FFIV had this as well, of course, but I feel like the orphanage twist in VIII, the Zanarkand dream twist in X, and the time skip twist in XV were all meant to recall VII’s twist of Cloud’s…very complex existence (IX’s two worlds twist actually is a clear homage to IV, but it’d be hard to argue that Zidane’s connection to Kuja - and the character of Kuja generally - weren’t more influenced by VII).

2: Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy XV.

Sorry, this one is a two-fer. I’m not gonna spend too much time on why I placed these two together in the #2 spot (I wrote a long thing on it here, if you’re interested). In summary, the games kinda mirror each other, in story and design. Each game can be seen in the negative space of what the other game leaves out, and at the end, the characters react to similar situations in completely opposite ways. For this reason, and that they’re of comparable quality, I think they’re best viewed as companion pieces.

FFX was the first mainline Final Fantasy game I ever completed, six years late. It was the first FF game with voice acting and many fully modeled locations. It also kinda marks the beginning of the series’ constant changes to the battle system.

That’s not to say the previous games’ battle systems didn’t also differ from each other, but they all had the same setup, with levels and an ATB gauge. This was the first game since III not to have any real-time element to its battle system, nor numbered levels gained through experience points. Since X, no two FF battle systems have been remotely comparable, which is cool and innovative and keeps things fresh, but also means I’ve been starved for just a regular ATB FF game for too long.

In many ways, FFX feels like a bridge between the PS1 games and the later games. It feels much more streamlined than VII, VIII, or IX, in terms of both storytelling and design. The game is very linear, pushing the player from one area to the next and not allowing much backtracking until the very end. It also loses the aging look of the PS1 games’ menus and UI, finally updating the classic font and the blue menus with white borders to fully modernized and sleek graphics.

However, movement still feels very similar to movement in VIII and IX, the music definitely evokes the PS1 games more than the later games, and most locations are portrayed with beautifully painted backgrounds, rather than modeled in (which I actually prefer, and I was glad to see that VII Remake has gone back to that in some places).

Voice acting in this game is phenomenal for 2001, and honestly on par with many contemporary games. I can’t think of a voice actor for the main cast who didn’t do a great job. Tidus’s narration, especially, is emotional and evocative in all the right ways. Grounding the plot in a very personal story about Tidus’s difficulty coming to terms with and proving himself to his abusive father keeps the story relatable and real.

Something interesting about my experience with X is that because it was my first Final Fantasy game, I thought for a very long time that the series was about organized religion, and the ways it is used to justify evil acts. This might be the only game of the ones I’ve played that is about organized religion, or even prominently features a religious doctrine, which really sets it apart from the rest of the series.

The game’s thematic unity is on point, even if there is a scene where they state the central themes a bit too plainly. Every character, and even the entire universe of the story, is held back by the past, and every subplot and the main plot revolves around finding ways to move forward and leave the past behind.

I love FFXV. It feels like a return to form after XII and XIII. It’s also probably the furthest any game in the series has strayed from the original formula. Battles are entirely real-time, and the game is a straightforward action game. There is very little time spent with menus, and even the leveling system has been stripped down to a few skill trees. It’s immediately obvious that the game was originally created to be a spinoff, not a main title.

FFXV is also probably too much a product of the current era of microtransactions and payment plans. The full story is spread out across *deep breath* a feature film, an anime series, an anime OVA, a standalone demo, two console games, four DLC story chapters, a multiplayer side game, a VR fishing game, four phone games (though really three phone games because A New Empire straight up isn't in that universe and also is terrible), an expansion including several entirely new dungeons, and finally a novel set to release sometime this year. That’s a whole lot of story. I’ve not played the phone games or the VR fishing game, or read the novel yet, but I’ve experienced all the rest.

But I also played FFXV when it first released, before any patches, before I knew there was a film, just the game all on its own. So you can believe me when I say that without any supplementary material, the game is still great.

It goes back to the FFI, II, III, V “Warriors of Light” system, where the party has four characters who do not change at all throughout the game. While this bugged me at first, I soon came to appreciate having a story where almost all character interactions involved these four characters. It meant I came to understand them well enough to feel like they were my friends, too. Most characterization in this game is understated, presented through small shared moments, dialogue, and body language as they travel the world together. Much like X, the overarching story might be expansive and far-reaching, but the real show is in the personal journeys the friends have.

Much of the first half of the game is spent exploring an open world, driving along the road and getting out of the car for pit stops or to explore the forests nearby. This is one of the very few games where I don’t mind just exploring an area without the promise of an upgrade or a new scene, just to see what’s around the corner, or to hear whatever banter the characters might engage in next.

The entire world of this game is gorgeous, and the orchestrated music is some of the best they’ve ever done. The main plot is beautiful, too. It’s bittersweet and emotional, with a charismatic villain and a twist that blew me away the first time I reached it.

The supplementary material is also mostly really quality. I’d recommend the Royal Edition over the original edition for sure, and to watch Kingsglaive as well. The anime series is quick and fairly fun, and Comrades expands on the universe in some great ways, but neither has as much bearing on the overall plot as the DLC chapters and Kingsglaive. I’m so in love with the DLC chapters, actually, that two years ago I wrote a piece just on how much Episode Ignis affected me (here if you care).

This is definitely getting long, so I guess I’ll move on after saying I’m upset that they patched Chapter 13 to make it easier, and I’m angry at everyone who complained that Chapter 13 was too hard. It was a brilliant piece of storytelling through game mechanics, and it’s mostly been stripped of all that, now.

1: Final Fantasy IX.

It’s IX. It was always IX. I actually did come into this with an open mind, wondering if one of the new games I’d experience (IV, V, VIII, XII, XIII) might end up hitting me harder than Final Fantasy IX, but as I replayed my favorite game in the series I quickly realized that wouldn’t be happening.

There are only a handful of games that make me cry. IX is one of two without voice acting. There are several songs from IX that make me tear up just when I hear them.

The story of the black mages gaining sentience, learning that they can die, and trying to force themselves back into being puppets just to lose that knowledge really moves me. The same goes for the story of Dagger no longer recognizing her mother, setting out to find a place to belong, learning that her birth family is long dead, then watching her mother return to her old self a moment before losing her forever. And Zidane’s story, where he has nowhere to call home, finally discovers the circumstances of his birth, and realizes that had he stayed in his birthplace, he would have become a much worse person than he ultimately did.

More than any other, though, Vivi’s story will always stick with me. He was found as a soulless husk by Quan, a creature with the intention of fattening him up and eating him, but each of them awoke something in the other, and Quan ended up raising Vivi as his grandson. When Quan passed, a rudderless Vivi went to the city to find a new home, and eventually learned he was created as a weapon. Other weapons had also gained sentience, but none had the worldliness that Vivi had gained from his loving relationship with Quan. When Vivi discovers that most weapons like him die after only a few months, he grapples with the possibility that he may die at any time, and eventually decides that he can only take control of what life he has by living each moment to the fullest. He ends up becoming an example for the other weapons to follow.

FFIX is a game about belonging: both yearning to have somewhere to belong and learning that the place where you think you belong is actually toxic and harmful to you. Even the menu theme is a tune called “A Place to Call Home.”

IX ran counter to the trends of the series in a number of ways. It was a return to high fantasy after the more sci-fi VII and VIII, and was also much more lighthearted than those games, while still being heartfelt and occasionally bittersweet. Gameplay-wise, it locked each of its characters into a single job, gave them designs based on their jobs, brought back four-character parties, and introduced a skill system in which characters learn skills from equipment. It also had a much softer, less realistic art style, and mostly avoided the attempts to recapture VII that have plagued most other subsequent titles (besides Kuja’s design, I guess).

The story is also structured so well. It regularly shifts perspective for the first thirty hours, allowing the player to spend ample time with each of the party members, and shaking up character combinations for fun new interactions. It introduced a system similar to the skits from Tales games, showing the player often humorous vignettes of what’s happening to other characters at the time. Once the characters have all come together in one party, the game has earned the sense that all of them (except for the criminally underexplored Amarant) have become a family.

The supporting cast are a blast as well. Zidane’s thief troupe (who double as a theater troupe) are likeable and fun. Kuja’s villain arc allows him to be sympathetic without losing his edge. The black mages are tragic without being overdone.

The development team for this game put so much more work into this game than they had to. The background artwork was all made in such high-definition resolutions that the act of downscaling them to fit in the game removed details. Uematsu traveled to Europe to make sure he’d get the feel of the soundtrack right, and has said it’s his favorite score he’s ever done. Sakaguchi, the creator of Final Fantasy, says IX is his favorite game in the series.

FFIX is one of the two games I would like them to remake after they finish the VII Remake, but I’m terrified they’ll mess it up in some way. Honestly, the game’s only flaws (which I do desperately want them to fix) are a lack of voice acting, the underdeveloped party member Amarant (and to a lesser extent Freya), the dissonance of Beatrix never getting punished in any way for her hand in a genocide, and the fact that very few of the sidequests are story-related because so many of the smaller story details that would normally be relegated to sidequests are covered in the main plot.

Despite the danger, though, I think revisiting IX is absolutely essential moving forward. It represents so much of what made older games like IV and VI great, and its story is much more grounded in real emotion than many current Square stories tend to be. Remaking VII will be good for getting VII out of Square’s system. Remaking IX would be good for putting IX back into Square’s system.

Here’s a IX song as a reward for getting this far. I’m gonna go listen to it and tear up again.

#final fantasy #final fantasy iv #final fantasy v #final fantasy vi #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy viii #final fantasy ix #final fantasy x #final fantasy xii #final fantasy xiii #final fantasy xv

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thefandomfuckery · 4 years

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The Album (Enhanced)! Review!

Let me start off by saying some obvious things especially to people who read this blog. First off I’m not a Blink. I really like BP a lot, their music is refreshing, their aesthetic is eye-catching, and I think these girls really have something that’ll take them far, I can’t wait to see that, and will support where I can. But compared to my other fan ventures in the rpf in the past, I would not call myself a “Blink”.

I really had to ruminate on this album cause not only is it short but it is a statement as a first album. So I’ll construct my feelings best I can on the short period I’ve had to draft this.

— How You Like That (8/10)

I’ve listened to this song so many times, not because it’s my favorite but because it’s so indulging. And I think it gets a lot of flack for being similarly toned to KTL. If this would have came out after Ice Cream I think it would have been received a little differently.

Now the lyrics are pure karma revenge. It feels way more invigorating then most songs of the same ilk. Where all of them sound bitter and scorned. This one has enlightened superiority. Which I find is VERY ON BRAND for BP and I really love that. There’s not really any standout lines like in other songs we’ll talk about but I think as a single it’s bombastic and high energy; they saw people liked that in their music and replicated that to a T. I think this does a much better job then similar projects like Work From Home > Down. Same team wants to make the same song but didn’t really understand why the first did so well.

The instrumentals especially during the chorus are so uniquely earworm. It does not stick to one beat continuously. The slow interludes really bring those high pace parts at the end and into the chorus into higher motion. It really just is a solid song. Is it bombastically THEIR BEST? No. But I think it comes it, steals your money and walks out like a boss.

— Ice Cream ft. Selena Gomez (7/10)

Like the previous I’ve listened to this song a lot and I was actually pretty lukewarm on it for the first few days. It was a fine single. I like the bubblegum splendor of it, the summer taste, the simplicity in it’s finest. And though I still like it, I do think it’s smaller then anything else on the album. It’s fine in that respect, the variety is welcome and I think this will have marketability and uses down the line. Overall it’s just okay.

The music on this one unlike the last, where we hear one continuous beat; lots of American production has this, sometimes it really HITS, the speed up and slow down of the one on Ice Cream really makes you jive, the ice cream truck melody in the back is actually clever, I wish it was slightly more prominent.

And Lisa’s verse kind of slam dunks the whole song. It’s kinda so clever that I think everyone in the industry should work with them just because of that.

I actually do like Selena, though I don’t think she adds much with BP because her voice is almost too similar in range and tone.

THE ONLY PART I WILL CRITIQUE HIGHLY ON IS. WHY WASN’T THE LINE: “Diamonds on my wrist / Coldest with the kiss, so he calls me ICE QUEEN.” <<< I kept singing this instead thinking it was the line and then saw the lyrics and went, wait, why he calling you ice cream!!!!

— Pretty Savage (9/10)

So when I heard this song, with no lyrical context, I went “pretty smooth and sassy” I didn’t have much to connect with other then some of the interludes of the song were nice transitions, which means it’s too calm to make it a single.

Then I saw the lyrics.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. It’s the baddest bitch song I have ever heard. This is the song SOME GG want to make and pathetically try to emulate this ENERGY but cannot because it sounds fake as fuck.

The lyrics are so borderline “yes queen step on me with your 6 inch heels” and a big fat call out letter to the world. I mean what else is there to say.

It’s not super complex production wise, I really like that piano opening and some of the harmonizing “ahhhs”. But where the lyrics speak for the songs I can’t even be disappointed.

— Bet You Wanna ft. Cardi B (6/10)

I thought I’d have more to say about this song. It was definitely the most HYPED song on the album. But it’s also the shortest song as well. I really want to like this song more then I do but I have issues with it.

First off, the lyrics are kinda super basic. Like even more then Ice Cream. I had to really pay attention to the lyrics cause I kept zoning out and just jamming instead of actually thinking about what this song was.

It’s kinda just a love song of sorts. It’s not bad, I just think that, yeah of course this will be a single and people aka the GP probably really jam to it because it’s so packaged.

Now about Cardi, I’m not her biggest fan. Women has talent. I like bits of her persona and though I think her verse is fine, she’s barley on the track for a whole 20 seconds. She spit a good verse and though I don’t think her raunchy lyricism that she usually spits would work here exactly, I do feel the lack of that of her talent missing.

The part of (Ah, I’m gon' make you go blind, every time I walk my hips they don’t lie) and (Higher higher higher high boy better take it up so damn high). I think there needed to be more lyric drops like these with reverb to add some spice to this, we aren’t getting much changes in the music nor speed up / slow downs to pace differently other then Cardi a slight bit.

I don’t hate it, I just really wanted more.

— Lovesick Girls (9/10)

I really thought in the process of listening to this song for the first time, “nah this song is way too slow for it’s own good” But then I kept replaying it and though I tried not to comment on the videos or use them for aid in my decision. I think the beat hits and slower drops in the song for the sad melodies were very clever.

This song is bittersweet high. It’s lyrically a combo of all these feelings of wanting to be a romantic, enjoying the good times, but feeling hurt over the bad. It’s on the verge of being complex for a pop song. Good for breakups!

The lyrics themselves are also so clever, Jennie and Lisa combo rap in the middle was very slick but Rose and Jisoo taking over the melodic sadness really took up their strengths. Jisoo end verse is so heart clenching!

There’s not much else to reminisce on here. I think it’s very well assimilated into one core idea and packs a huge punch. Deep and sound are excellent.

— Crazy Over You (10/10)

I’m just gonna say it. This is my favorite song on the album. It does not have a second of breathing room. It’s the best energy, it has the best lyrics, the production is THE HIGHEST TIER; the most interesting music incorporation with sounds and add on’s, not too many just a perfect amount!

I’m not gonna sit here and explain all the goodness of the lyrics but “Feels wrong but it's right, right Blacked out, no night light Pinked out like fight night” and “ Got the venom to dead him if he want a snake I mean, sneak, I mean, play hide and seek.” !!!!!!!

It plays the right amount of crazy obsession to it, nothing murderous or stupid. It’s like Lovesick, a concept perfectly contained into one song. This is what I want from them all the time!

— Love to Hate Me (9/10)

I think this is the companion piece to Pretty Savage, the more personal influx of “you gonna hate me, there’s the door.” Again this is always a emotional standpoint lots of artists try to display but it doesn’t come off this cool and calculated. It’s almost too good for it’s own good. It can also be good for women with too jealous of partners, it has multiple layers.

This one borders up to a perfect 10, I just wish the music had a bit more PUSH. I think the halts in the music cool downs are good and Lisa’s rap really mic drops the whole thing, it actually could’ve ended there!

— You Never Know (5/10)

I called this one the dark horse the second I finished the album. It kinda is the mismatched piece in the whole album. I want to give it credit with the range it shows of the girls but at the same time, it’s not vocally interesting to be ballad like nor is it lyrically infused with interesting lines or verses to give it flavor.

I tried just listening, then lyrically analyzing, and then infusion of both but I honestly can’t get a good stance on this song. It feels confused? It almost felt self reflecting in the lyrics but then it kind of incorporates random elements that didn’t feel like it jived. Just one long stagnate beat across the whole song.

I’ve felt this way about their other more, acoustic ballad like songs. So this isn’t really a shock to me, I’m not sure if this is just a kpop choice, Korean ballads aren’t really the same as ones in the west, or if I just don’t connect with the song emotionally.

— Total Score: 7.8

For their first album I think this is a solid statement. It has good range, it has impressive collabs, it showcases their talents. I think there could be good room for polish with certain songs to make them work even better but overall it really feels like AN ALBUM and not an EP. I think they could have released 2 more songs in here so instead of 6 new songs with the release we could’ve had a solid 8 with a 10 track album. But it works. I rather have a more complete work then filler.

With a side note: This album really felt like it was suppose to be released in the Spring? Maybe it was but with the COVID and all that jazz it got pushed. But the more and more I thunk on it, the more it felt like the songs, especially the singles would have thrived better in the Summer season. I don’t think this detracts from the success it’s just a thought, realistically music release is all about timing so anything could be more or less of a hit because of when to release.

I’ll be very anxious to see what they do with their future singles and hopefully their next album exceeds this one. I think they’re at their best when they dig deep and go musically beyond their peers. I’d even be interested in them changing format because some of their songs in layout have a lot of similarties. It’s a good formula but their evolution would interest me highly.

#blackpink #review #i spent way too damn long making this #appreciate it

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polar-stars · 4 years

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Shokugeki no Kimiko à la carte Series - The Extended Hand

Author’s Note:

Written for ShokugekiOCWeek, Day 7 (Prompt: Party)

You’ve reached the point where I’d to something for ShigeChi, because of course I would; or the tale of Chieko visiting a party she feels to small for.

(As always, I’m not sure if its good or not haha)

---

Like he loved to do, Satoshi went out early in the morning so he could help his students tend to the garden.

An all-too typical everlasting smile on his face, he opened the heavy door of the dormitory to step out into the fresh, cold air. He took a deep, satisfied breath before he marched on.

Little did he expect however to hear the door opening behind him again.

And even less he expected Hideyoshi Kawashima to be the one coming out of it.

“Hideyoshi-kun?” He questioned. “You’re not on field-duty or cooking-duty today. What gives me the honor to greet you so early in the morning?” Hideyoshi was known for many things but not exactly for being an early riser.

Instead of answering, Hideyoshi only threw a “Good Morning, Satoshi-san” towards the brunette man and rushed straight up to the mail box of the dormitory.

The dorm caretaker had already turned around to walk on to the garden as he heard Hideyoshi’s loud exclaim of joy possibly waking up the last few sleeping birds in the trees. When Satoshi then looked over his shoulder, he saw the black-haired youth sprint back towards the dormitory with a bunch of letters in his hands.

A chuckle escaped Satoshi, as he lightly shook his head. “Youth.” Then he walked on.

When he finally came back from field work, all sweaty but filled with the highest spirits after his connecting and conversing with Mother Nature, Satoshi found all of Polar Star’s current highschool first years at their table in the dining hall, hunched together like a group of penguins.

“Good Morning.” He warmly announced in order to get their attention. He ended up being successful as the young teens all lifted their heads with admirable synchronicity.

"Good Morn-" Was all that Hiroshi could say before his friendly greeting was drowned out by Hideyoshi's exclaim. "Satoshi-san! You're not going to believe this!" The addressed adult came closer, chuckling. "My, my, you're truly in a good mood today, Hideyoshi-kun."

"He was invited to a party." Mumbled Daisuke while staring at his omelette, some jealousy swinging in his voice. "Not a party." Hideyoshi immediately corrected and held up an envelope. "THE party." As Satoshi arrived at their table, blue eyes full of interest for what Hideyoshi was so excited over, the emcee began elaborating further. "It's Inoue Eito's party, Satoshi-san! The tenth seat!"

While Daisuke rolled his eyes and Yasu slightly shook his head Hideyoshi took over the tone of a storyteller, weaving myths and legends. "The 114th Generation is famous for their parties and Inoue-senpai is the one who throws the most acclaimed ones by far. Each and every single one of them being iconic. He's not one to invite too many underclassmen. The fact that I got invited…." He proudly puffed out his chest. "Makes me a VIP without a doubt."

"I see…" Satoshi rubbed his chin and then nodded. "I am glad to see you so happy, Hideyoshi-kun." The dorm-warden spread his arms and, as they did many times, the young teens swore to see sparkles and glitters appearing around him. "Parties are a great way to savor your youth!"

"Ever considered that these might have been some prank? Maybe by the underclassmen?" Chieko suddenly spoke up. As the heads turned towards her, Satoshi noted the white envelope in her heads. "Because I can't see why they would invite me…."

The gears in Chieko's brain had been turning ever since Hideyoshi had pushed the invitation into her hands. But all the data and knowledge that she'd stored up over several years could not provide her with an answer to the question on why her, a perfectly normal student of the 115th Generation who looked plain and nerdy, was invited to such a popular, trendy event. In her understanding her name just didn't fit in-between widely-gushed-over emcee Hideyoshi Kawashima, gorgeous Mika Aldini and the school idol's little sister Kimiko Yukihira.

"I don't really get this either. I haven't met this Inoue guy." Kimiko voiced. She had laid her letter away already, so that Hiroshi read it instead while she payed more attention to her omelette.

Hideyoshi was quick to enlighten the blonde. "Please, Yukihira. I thought you were smarter than that. Of course Inoue-senpai would want the sister of the most popular person within the 114th Generation and Totsuki as a whole to be there."

"Hiraku will be there? Yeah, I think I will pass this one." Kimiko shrugged at that and continued eating her breakfast, completely unbothered by Hideyoshi looking at her as if she had personally insulted him. Meanwhile a visible blush had been creeping on Mika's face as she quickly decided to read over invitation again, only now truly realizing that she'd get to meet a certain redhead on the party.

"Maybe it's actually for you." Chieko theorized and pushed her invitation over to Yasu. Good-looking, well-liked Yasu, who never failed to catch several eyes when walking through town wether he was aware of it or not. No way she was chosen over him.

"I don't think a guy that concerned with creating an illustrious guest list would make such a mistake, Chi-chan." He tilted his head slightly. "If you don't want to go, you don't have to." "We can play cards together instead!" Kimiko quickly brought up with a grin.

"No!" Hideyoshi huffed. "No, I'm having enough of this lack of appreciation for this flattering, distinguished chance." He pointed at Chieko. "Marui, I won't allow you to miss out on this. As your friend I can't let you shot yourself in the foot like this!"

—

Despite all of Chieko's skepticism and hesitance, she ended up standing in front of the tenth seat's mansion outside of Totsuki when the day of the rager had come through the sheer force of Hideyoshi's insistence. She even had put on make-up and one of her prettiest dresses.

She felt the house was practically shaking from the booming music that played in it. Hideyoshi next to her bounced on the balls of his feet like some 3 year old who was granted two scoops of ice cream by their mother. Mika had merely crossed her arms as she eyed the scenery in front of her with narrowed eyebrows. Around them, students kept streaming in and out of the house. Some sober, others already smash-drunk.

Chieko could tell right away: this was a very different caliber than the regular Polar Star gatherings.

The insides of the house were loud and crowded. Chatter, laughter, badly sung lyrics to whichever song was playing; those were the sounds that dominated the halls.

The trio began wandering around and inspecting the mansion's ground floor but eventually they split up, as Mika sought to find her prince charming while Hideyoshi aimed for the bar. Chieko meanwhile found herself a corner that was not occupied by some horny couple or a guy about to throw up for her to stand in.

Not many took a notice of her but occasionally she received a couple of confused looks here and there. But what did she expect? Here she had been, dressing up pretty just to stand around in the shadows.

She had just decided to search for Hideyoshi at the bar in order to drown her frustrations in a little bit of cheap wine as said classmate already appeared in front of her, yelling. “Marui! There you are!”

Before Chieko could come up with a response, her dorm mate began to make hasty gestures. “I heard Aldini made it into the upper part of the building! Can you believe it?”

Based on his tone, Chieko knew that he expected some sort of shocked surprise from her but all she gave him was calm confusion. “Huh?”

Hideyoshi gave her a long look before he groaned. “Marui, everybody knows that the real deal of Inoue-senpai’s parties is in the upper part of the mansion. This is where the A-List gathers. The most popular personalities of the school. The true Crème de la Crème!" Knowing her dorm mate and his never-ending chase for a grand social standing well enough, Chieko already feared what will follow next as she listened to his ramble. "If Aldini made it up there, we gotta get there to."

Before Chieko was even given a chance to rationally line out all the reasons on why this was probably a bad idea; she already found herself standing in front the massive staircase that lead up to Hideyoshi's personal Olymp, with Hideyoshi next to her engaging in a broad discussion with the second-year that had been tasked to keep out any mere mortals. "No, there has to be a mistake. I am Kawashima Hideyoshi. Surely, you must have seen me host a Shokugeki already. I belong up there." "All I see is another entitled, little first-year-shrimp."

Chieko felt an immense urge to hide her face in her hands as Hideyoshi just kept on being his ever persistent, irritating self. "Just let us through! You'll thank me later." "Pffh, yeah right." The guard scoffed before crossing his arms to truly complete the image of the strict, incorruptible doorman. "Listen up, you two guppies have no business up there, understand? Now buzz off or I'll throw you out entirely."

To Chieko's sheer horror, she saw Hideyoshi opening his mouth yet again. However before any words could come out a third voice suddenly spoke up. "These two are my guests actually."

Chieko, Hideyoshi and the gatekeeper all turned their heads in surprise. The gatekeeper was the first one to greet the new participant of the discussion, as his face instantly became pale and he shrieked. "Eizan!"

Shigeo was dressed in a white shirt, a waist coat, black trousers and his infamous smirk. Behind him, one could see Umino and Yamada in full casual glory and with burning eyes directed at the gatekeeper. "Let them through." Shigeo purred, with a certain warning edge to it.

"We-Well…..if they're your guests, they should have just said so." The guard stammered in a desperate attempt to defend himself, while simultaneously taking a step to the side to symbolize their free pass.

"Wise choice." Shigeo hummed before turning to Chieko, whose eyebrows had sunken downwards in the meantime. Not imitated the slightest by her glare, Shigeo merely brought out his hand to her. "Greetings Marui. What a pleasure to see you! I am glad my plus-one showed up."

“Plu-Plus-One?!” Chieko snarled. So that's how she received an invitation. She practically heard Hideyoshi's jaw dropping behind her.

"The Boss barely ever brings a plus one!" Umino brought up with a certain gravity in his voice, most likely to make Chieko understand just oh how special and lucky she was.

"It really was not necessary." Chieko replied, not flattered but completely meaning what she had said. It left both Umino and Yamada utterly floored and Chieko could also feel Hideyoshi's disapproving gaze and his fear of his dorm mate ruining his one chance to get upstairs.

But Shigeo's smirk merely grew a bit as that certain amusement glinted in his yellow eyes. "Yet you still showed up. So I don't believe it was a wrong choice inviting you." He nodded towards the staircase. "Now let's go upstairs. What good is an invitation if I don't give you a chance to experience the true party. Not this….gathering of maggots down here."

While Chieko still made no attempt to take his held out hand, Shigeo for the first time shifted his gaze to Hideyoshi. "Your dorm mate can come too if he wants." Chieko didn't have to turn around to know that Hideyoshi's face lightened up at that, not even bothered how both Umino and Yamada made rather displeased grimaces.

A moment of silence ensued in which Chieko wagered cons and pros in her head. Ultimately the knowledge about how badly her friend wanted to hang out with the cool kids pushed a sigh out of her and a curt. "Fine." She then began walking past the hand that Shigeo still held out to her and up the grand stairs. "I suppose a glimpse can't hurt. Come on, Kawashima."

Before Hideyoshi, completely over the moon, followed he gave a quick bow towards Shigeo. "Thank you, Shigeo-senpai." He faked an unsure laugh and made a waving hand gesture. "Don't mind Marui's grumpy tone. She's always like that. I'm sure she's more than happy about your gracious-" "Listen sockpuppet, if I should ever feel the desire to chat with you I'll be sure to let you know, alright?" Shigeo's frosty tone interrupted him and it brought back the smiles on Umino's and Yamada's faces rather quickly.

Hideyoshi gulped, made another bow and then chose to retreat back to Chieko's side. Shigeo and his two companions watched them for a couple more minutes before following as well.

Upstairs and Downstairs truly felt like two different worlds. Chieko could tell as much when she finished climbing the stairs.

The first floor was a lot less crowded and the faces she saw were all faces she recognised instantly. From 7th seat Suzume Hojo dancing alongside the president of the French RS Harumi Tsujimoto to a song, whose lyrics "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" described the entire atmosphere perfectly, to Kimiko's widely-beloved brother Hiraku sipping whiskey at a bar, much more finer-looking than the one they had down there, with 6th seat Akio Hayama close as ever to him.

Hideyoshi let out a whistle next to her. "That's what I'm talking about, Marui. This is were Totsuki's truly important people can be found." Just as he said so, the duo also spotted their lost dorm member Mika, a glass with some red drink in her hands and in a conversation with Beatrice Shiratsu.

Their reunion seemingly had to wait however as all out of the sudden a blonde upperclassman approached them, spreading his arms and true manner of a host exclaiming. "Eizan and Co! I wondered when you'd show up."

Both Chieko and Hideyoshi turned their heads and saw that Shigeo, Umino and Yamada had arrived as well. "Good evening, Inoue." Shigeo greeted while subtly raising his hand. Umino gave a nod. "Yo" while Yamada just said. "Sup'"

As the tenth seat, Eito Inoue, reached them, he observed with a bit of sorrow in his eyes. "I see Saito-senpai didn't come along this time. What a shame." Shigeo gave a shrug. "Spontaneous shopping-trip to Paris." He said with a nonchalance you'd expect a person who grew up in a world where spontaneous weekend trips to other countries were affordable and completely normal to have.

"Inoue, is Koharu-chan here already?" Umino questioned Eito before he could make any further inquiries over Kiyoko Saito's whereabouts.

"Yoshida-san?" Eito gave a nod. "Yeah, she's here." He then pointed at a large assortment of couches far away and close to a wall. There, waiting, Chieko and Hideyoshi could make out a thin, female figure with blonde hair and clothes in pastel-colors. "She's at you guy's usual spot with the usual amount of vodka."

"Hell yeah." Yamada grinned in anticipation. "Koharu-chan never fails to disappoint." Umino meanwhile turned to Shigeo. "Boss, is it okay if we join Koharu-chan already?" "Go ahead." Shigeo replied. "Tell Yoshida, I'll be there in a second."

"Aye, Boss." The two men answered simultaneously before wandering off to the couches and Koharu Yoshida with her numerous bottles of vodka.

Once they were gone, Shigeo gave Eito a command, disguised as a friendly request. "I'd like the usual brandy, Inoue."

"Sure, sure." Eito nodded. "Just a question."

After having looked over their heads for the last minutes, Eito finally let his grey eyes fall on Hideyoshi and Chieko. "Who are they?"

Before Shigeo could say anything however, Hideyoshi held out his hand and informed. "Kawashima Hideyoshi. Good evening, Inoue-senpai. I'm a large fan of your work."

It was silent for a second but then Eito's eyes grew and he exclaimed. "Oh! Of course! The Shokugeki-Host!" He playfully hit his head. "I knew something was familiar about your face! How did you get up here though?"

Hideyoshi opened his mouth again but this time Shigeo was faster. "I brought him up." It might have been Eito's party but Shigeo's tone showed absolute confidence in the belief that he could do whatever he wants and he was proven right as Eito showed no signs of an intention to call him out over acting on his own behalf.

"I see." Eito merely smiled over Shigeo's lack of respect for his neatly organized VIP-guest-list. "Lucky kid."

Then his eyes fell on Chieko. "And you are?"

Chieko tried her best to resist the urge of nervously fumbling with her skirt as she answered. "My….name is Marui Chieko."

What followed was a minute of silence and Eito just blankly staring at Chieko. With each passing second, she felt smaller and smaller and her lips began to tremble.

Finally Eito monotonously spoke. "Oh, so you're Eizan's plus-one, right?" He finally smiled again, albeit it seemed a little forced. "He told me to invite you. I hope you know that he doesn't do that very oft-" "She knows, don't worry." Shigeo suddenly cut him off, a little harshness in his tone which made Eito flinch subtly.

Chieko meanwhile looked at the floor, her face burning.

"Enjoy the party, then!" Eito exclaimed jollily. "And we'll get you a brandy." He also said towards Shigeo.

As the two upper classmen then moved away, Hideyoshi shifted his gaze to Chieko. "Marui…." He asked. "Everything alright? You've been so quiet suddenly…."

Chieko bit her lips one last time before looking up and giving Hideyoshi a little smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think I just need some fresh air right now." Before Hideyoshi could make any further inquires she already began pushing him into the direction of two Italian chefs. "Be a dear and tell Mika-cchi that we're here, alright? I'll be back soon."

With no more explanation left, Chieko then made her escape to the balcony.

As she stepped ousted she was immediately greeted by the cold night air and the stunning sight of Tokyo's sparkling skyscrapers in the distance. Yet she could not take much enjoyment from it as the heart in her chest was close to bursting.

Dazed from her sudden sorrow Chieko staggered to the railing for support. She felt the tears urging to come out, but kept on fighting the battle against them so she would not have to return to her friends with red eyes.

After having observed her for what must have been several minutes, Eito had only been able to recognize her as "Eizan's plus-one". And the way he had said it.

As the memory mercilessly replayed in her head a single tear rolled over Chieko's cheek despite all of her best efforts.

Foolish as she ever was, a part of her had hoped to have fun tonight. To be someone more than the one nerdy girl from Polar Star. She hd put her efforts into dressing up for the occasion but no matter how hard she tried, she'd never be a gorgeous Mika Aldini, a noble Kaori Hayama or a interesting Kimiko Yukihira. She'd always be the girl from the library to everyone else.

"Are you upset that I invited you?"

A lightning bolt was sent through Chieko as she heard Shigeo's voice behind her. Still wide-eyed over the sudden noise, she made a half turn and found the older male standing close to the door of the balcony with crossed arms and an unreadable expression.

Once she had recovered from the initial shock, Chieko managed to press out. "I don't want to talk right now. Go away."

Shigeo however rather took a note of something else and surprise spread on his face mixed with something that seemed identical with actual concern. "Marui….have you been crying?"

Immediately Chieko turned her head away at that, cursing at herself internally. But it was too late, as Shigeo already appeared next to her after a couple of seconds. "If you really hate it around here so much, you could have said something."

Chieko pressed her lips tightly together as she kept averting his sharp gaze. "I…..It's simply that your ever great self made a mistake. I do not belong here."

As Shigeo did not reply, she kept on. "This is a group of people who instantly have all eyes on them whenever they enter a room. I don't fit into that." Her voice shivered slightly. "I'm much too dull and unexciting for that."

What followed was a long silence. But just when Chieko actually thought that Shigeo had just quietly slithered away already, he spoke up again.

"Do you mean to insult me?"

Completely taken by surprise and confusion, Chieko finally turned his head back to him and met a pair of oddly serious eyes. "Marui Chieko, do you honestly think that I, Eizan Shigeo, would waste my time and breath on a type of person you just described?"

Chieko could only blink.

"If you really think that I would even consider to bring some uninteresting bore to a party as my partner, you're a lot badder at reading people than I thought you would be." Shigeo continued.

At first Chieko was only capable of staring at him, robbed off words. But finally a few of them returned in her otherwise so eloquent brain. "I….you…."

Shigeo's solemn look disappeared and made way for a smile. But for a change it wasn't loaded with self-infatuation but rather had a hint of genuineness in it. "I invited you for two reasons, Marui: one being that I earnestly believe that you belong into these ranks given the talent that's sleeping in you. The other one being…" He made a slight pause, letting his eyes trail to Tokyo's skyline for a second before looking back at her with the city lights reflecting in his eyes. "The other one is….that I quite frankly enjoy your company."

Once again, Chieko was at a loss for words as her teal-colored eyes merely widened, her jaw dropped and the blush appeared on her cheeks.

They stood there like this for several minutes. Just staring at each other. Noises of the city on one side and loud music from the other side, but the two didn't seem to hear either of them.

Finally Chieko regained her ability to speak and additionally several facts of her speaking-partner which were about more than him just being a good-looking, charming young man. "Shigeo-senpai, I…." She looked to the side and sighed. "I don't know if I can truly trust you with your words. You're Shigeo-senpai after all." Now she was the one to take a pause before looking back at him. "But for tonight I like to believe they're true…..Thank you."

Once those words were spoken, she immediately looked down to her feet as she felt her face burning hotter and hotter with each second.

Would she come to regret what she had just said? It was impossible knowing with this man.

Another moment of quiet ensued, until it was broken by Shigeo. "May I have the pleasure of dancing with you?"

Chieko's head shot upwards again as she looked at him in disbelief. "You dance on parties?"

"Not normally." Shigeo replied and yet again brought out his hand to her, as finally after all of this uncharacteristic concern and sincerity, his well-known vain smirk appeared back on his face. "But perhaps this is a way to prove to you that you're not just some girl to me." He chuckled. "I believe we two could be quite a sight."

Chieko stared at his held out hand, thinking about wether this was the gloved palm of her Prince Charming, or the dangerous, seducing offer of some mob-boss.

She decided that today was not the night she'd try to solve this question and simply took it.

#I'll proof-read tomorrow 🙏 its late ; 7 ;#ShokugekiOCWeek #ShokugekiOCWeek2020 #Shokugeki no Soma #Lea is writing #SnKimi a la Carte #Shokugeki no Kimiko Stuffz #Chieko Marui #Shigeo Eizan #Hideyoshi Kawashima #Mika Aldini #Katashi Umino #Taichi Yamada #Eito Inoue #Kimiko Yukihira #Hiroshi Aldini Tadokoro #Yasu Ibusaki #Daisuke Aoki

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morkmywords · 5 years

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Not Really a Cinderella Story | Royalty au | Exo | Sehun | Part 12

Masterlist | Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 [FINAL]

Royalty!AU

Length: 3.2k

Note: uhhhhhh hi, so school ate my life and i have no time anymore but this is finally finished even if its a shorter part also its not edited but when is it ever

I also want to that @haveanotherkpopblog and @theonethatcompletesyou you have supported me since i first started this fanfic and blog in general and you guys are my main motivation most of the time and i’m so sorry i can’t update more regularly but I hope you like this

Warnings: nothing really

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: Fluff/angst

Summary: When a strange string of not so great events somehow and you with a job at the palace punching the wrong people can be not so great.

The tapping of your slippers against the old marble floors was the only sound aside from your breathing as you once again stepped into the ballroom. The murals which decorated the domed ceiling of the cavernous room seemed to be covered with a grey filter, blurring the once bright colours which were now peeling away. You had been in Oclaria’s palace for almost two months now but the image of the forgotten ballroom haunted you as if the spirits of the people who once danced within it were buried in your heart. Ever since you had crossed the border between the two countries it felt as if a thin sheet had been thrown over your eyes, everything felt so familiar yet the sheer fabric only let you see shapes, hiding the details from your eyes.

Soon after entering the palace you quickly learned about the king who had passed, Sehun’s uncle. Long before you or Sehun were born the Queen, whom the King loves dearly, finally was pregnant with a child to the joy of the entire kingdom. Parties were held at every street corner, that is, until the baby was born still and took the Queen’s life with it. Heartbroken, the King locked himself away, sending every courtier back to their own territories and dismissing all the staff, keeping only those necessary to make sure the palace didn’t crumble around them. Nobody heard or saw from the King aside from those few servants, no parties or meeting were held and thus the palace was forgotten. Instead, being taken over by years upon years of dust and cobwebs.

The staff you arrived with easily outnumbered the current ones left by the King five to one, they were given the option to leave or stay when Sehun arrived and much to everyone’s surprise many chose to stay. With that, slowly the palace began to fill up again, more staff were hired, the stables and gardens were restored, and slowly the lords and ladies once again took up their places at court. The palace quickly transformed from the desolate and erie place you arrived to, when the grime was scrubbed away and a new coat of paint was slathered on the walls the palace was beautiful, more so than even the ice palace of Matus. But the ballroom was left untouched along with most of the east wing, which made it your favourite place to spend the long days. Though more often than not, you found yourself spending most of your time alone, the days were never predictable. For a man who was supposed to be preoccupied with learning how to govern a country Sehun sure managed to find a lot of free time. Almost every morning you would wake up to find a gift addressed to you waiting in front of your door from none other than the soon to be king. The gifts ranged from anything as simple as a bouquet of your favourite flowers which as the note explained, he grew in the gardens himself, or a new book for you to read. Sometimes he would to to such extremes as leaving a huge arm chair so plush and cushioned you had no idea how it would fit through your door, and gifting you an entirely new wardrobe full of hand crafted gowns, all with sleeves that would cover to your wrists. When there weren’t gifts there was always a letter left, your name scrawled on the envelope in familiar hand writing asking you to meet later in the day or apologizing and promising to make it up to you if he’s too tied up with work.

His favourite place to go with you was the palace gardens, a maze of paths twisting in between rows of flowers and plants that stretched almost as far as the palace itself. The first time you visited it with him he told you that the previous queen had loved to garden too, so much in fact, that as a wedding gift his uncle had ordered the expansion of the garden to add six different expansions, spring, summer, autumn, winter, day, and night. Over the course of her life the gardens were constructed one by one. Spring which bloomed every year with a myriad of colours in the warm rain, summer which was filled with ponds, a large oak tree with a swing hanging off one of the large branches in the center. Autumn was lined with orchards and other crops, providing endless produce that will last throughout the season and into the winter, speaking of which, winter was a forest of pine and spruce trees, pond in the middle freezing over and creating a skating rink. Day and night were the last two gardens going to be created but as soon as day’s glittering greenhouses and sparkling fountains were completed, the Queen died along with the baby girl they were going to name Luna after the moon which she admired. Overwhelmed by grief, the king had ordered the construction of the Night garden to be stopped and over the years it never resumed and thus fell into disrepair.

One of his other favourite things to do was to steal you away to the palace kitchen under the rouse of cooking a meal together when in reality you usually ended up doing all the work as Sehun played around with whatever weird vegetables he could find. Sometimes you two would wander around the city together, or you two would just sit in each other's company reading in the library. As much as spending time with Sehun made you bubble over with joy and your heart soar it didn’t.

And it all started when he first asked.

“Will you marry me?”

The chuckle in his voice and smile on his face would suggest there was a light heartedness around his question but with one look in his eyes you could see how it was weighing on him. With a seriousness you had never seen before. Jokingly you brushed it off, making some excuse about him snoring to loud but he kept asking. And with each time he asked the seriousness grew no matter how much you turned him down. There was always a nagging at the back of your mind, making your stomach churn with nerves so you kept turning him down.

The fact that most of the palace residents knew of your infatuation wasn't doing much good either. Many of the staff members fawned after your relationship, telling you their endless dreams of finding a significant other that was as sweet as Sehun was to you but as much as the mention of your relationship to the prince made you squirm they weren't the problem. The real problem was the court officials, it was no secret that they were pushing Sehun who had only just been crowned king to get married and for good reason too. He had to solidify his standing as king and the best way to do that was to find and marry a queen so there was always a seemingly endless stream of eligible women in the palace and yet through all their finery he turned them all down. And it was no secret to anyone that you were the reason why. The glares weighed heavy on you like a clock made out of led, and even if you were with Sehun, whether he noticed and chose to ignore it or was simply oblivious to the watching eyes their gazes still found their way deep inside of you. As the little worms of doubt and anxiety buried themselves in the lining of your stomach, arms, legs, and even through your spine and up the back of your neck you firmed your decision. As the seriousness in Sehun’s proposals grew so did the seriousness in your answers, there was no way you could marry him and become queen, he couldn't forgot marrying some rich young lady from a family of power and marry you, some lowborn commoner, it wouldn't be fair to him or the people of his country.

Fortunately the people of Oclaria are much kinder than those of the court. Lord Cha had grown to be much more of a father figure in your life over the past while. Whenever you weren't occupied, which was more often than it may seem, he took you to see the wonder of Oclaria. It was the second largest kingdom on the continent after the freezing plains of Lokya which were bathed in eternal winter that it said to have been cursed by a with centuries ago when the continent had no kingdoms, or kings, or queens. And after so many trips through the large cities with bustling markets and the quiet countryside with hills covered in flowers you had barely even seen a third of it.

----

Moonlight filtering through the stained glass windows which lined the walls and creating colourful patterns on the floor was the only thing illuminating the hallway aside from the quickly melting candle you clutched in your hand as you scurried through the hallway. You found yourself in quite similar situations for longer than you can remember at this point, nerves wriggling inside you and refusing you sleep until the early hours of the morning. Books had been the solution to quelling the pent up writhing of your emotions and you had taken refuge in Lord Cha’s private library as he too, was often a stranger to sleep due to reasons unknown. Earlier in the month you had borrowed a book titled ‘Greatest Composers of the Five Continents’ and as interesting as it was, it was incredibly long and you had finally finished it. Feeling ever so enlightened about the history of music in your great world you pushed open the door and stepped into the library. Without looking up from the diary on his lap Lord Cha offered you a wave a greeting which you quickly returned before diving into the shelves of books.

A few moments later after having successfully shelving your borrowed book and grabbing a new one you were settled in the generously stuffed armchair across from him.

“Y/n I wanted to ask you about something,” Lord Cha said as he put the cap back on his pen. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses before placing whatever he was writing about on the table side him. “In two days I'm heading back to the territory I'm from, Iyle. It's the largest territory in Oclaria, covering the border to Edesea and all of Oclaria’s southern coast and islands. It's been without a lord for many years since the line died out and I've been put in charge of governing it and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you'll come with me.”

You stared at him blankly for a few moments before clearing your throat. You shifted in your seat as your mind raced, to what you didn't know, but it was flying so fast you couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

“Lord Cha, It sounds amazing- I'd really love to go- but the thing is-” you sputtered out.

“It's okay darling,” he cut you off with a chuckle as he reached over to pour you a cup of tea.

“I really would love to go-”

“I know, it's hard to decide in this moment. You have a lot to consider seeing as you've only just arrived in Oclaria and you'd be leaving the man who you loved enough to follow here for who knows how long as I don't know yet when we will return to the capital,” He smiled at you, “It's a hard decision to make and I don't expect you to make it now,” he straightened his tie and stood up, “We’re leaving at Sunset in two days time, meet us at the southern gate if you wish to come.”

With that he bid you goodnight and returned to his chambers and you returned to yours.

----

The darkness of your room didn’t seem dark. You stared at the ceiling, then rolled onto your side and looked out the window, before rolling onto your stomach and burying your face in the pillow. The soft glow of the sunrise was making your room brighter and brighter and with the light came the realization that you hadn’t slept at all the night before. You tossed and turned endlessly because of the nightmare that was your reality at this point in time. Lord Cha had invited you to go with him and you almost agreed on the spot but you hesitated. As much as you wished to escape the empty palace that seemed to be closing farther in on you every day, trapping you within the confines of the gilded walls and luxury, you couldn’t make the call. A small nagging in your heart which you had been feverishly trying to burry over the past weeks had unearthed itself and halted you from making a decision because if you left, would you ever be able to come back?

The sun had risen when you finally pushed yourself from under the quilt and got dressed, it felt almost mechanical as you went about your daily routine. You felt empty, why were there no tears? No frustration and indecision? Why were you nothing but a shell?

When the realization finally dawned on you it walls you had created came crashing down all at once and dread filled the pit of your stomach.

No letter came that day, nor did any gifts and you were thankful. A decision hadn’t been reached by the time you drifted into sleep in the late morning and slept the rest of the day away.

The nagging invaded your dreams and filled them with all your unanswered questions.

Should you leave Sehun alone?

Should you leave without telling him?

What if while you’re gone he gives in to the court and marries some noble lady?

Why do you care if he marries a noble woman? He’s a king after all…

Why do you care so much about him?

----

You had to make the decision today, your bag was packed and shoved under your bed but would you take it or not?

You were pacing back and forth in your room trying to decide what to do when a knock on your door interrupted you.

“You’re needed in the garden,” the guard said, “please follow me.”

Nodding you trailed behind him as he offered up no more information. The two of you snaked through the familiar halls to the garden, a path you had gotten very familiar with very quickly. Time seemed to slow as you stepped through the glass door and around the rose garden to be met with a beautiful sight. Sehun waiting for you, sun dancing on his face like rays of pure delight as a smile lit up his entire face when he spotted you. The guard who escorted you hung back as he rushed to meet you, grabbing your hand in his own and kissing your cheek lightly. Today something seemed different about him, maybe it was the changing seasons but he seemed lighter than before, like the world wasn’t resting on his shoulders anymore.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispered and instinctively you smiled brightly back at him.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long,” you said.

He chuckles and clutched your hand tighter, “You’re right on time, we have to go somewhere but first promise me you won’t ask any questions, okay?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

“I don’t think so,” he answered pretending to scratch his head which made you laugh, “just trust me.”

You eyed him up and down. Pretending was hard especially since his joy was so infectious, so you nodded and stuck out you pinky which he gratefully took before pulling you after him. You walked for what seemed like only seconds when his hand clutched yours like it was the only thing that mattered. Another twinge was felt in you heart as you spotted a small gazebo which is where he seemed to be headed.

He dropped your hand and stood across from you, you shivered from the loss of the warmth and comfort against your palm, “Sehun, wha-”

“You promised not to ask questions, right?” he said. There was a different tone in his voice now, something between excitement and nervousness, but why? “Just let me talk first.”

You nodded as the atmosphere suddenly changed into something more serious.

“You know I love you right?”

You nodded again.

He took a deep breath, “I know I’ve been asking you this over and over for the past few weeks, and I know you needed time to think but I think a month is enough time to make a decision. Y/n, will you marry me?”

You felt you heart shift, “Sehun…….. No.”

HIs demeanour changed. He was dripping with something you couldn’t place and towering over you even if he was only a few inches taller than you in reality.

“Y/n I’ll give you one more chance, this is the last time I’m going to ask, so what’s your answer!” he asked.

It was as if the whole world had stilled, “No.”

“WHY?!” he exclaimed, latching onto your wrists in desperation, “Tell me why you have to keep turning me down when I love you so much!?”

“No Sehun,” you cried out trying halfheartedly to wrench yourself free from his grasp, “I can’t-I can’t be a queen!”

“WHY?!”

“Because I don’t love you!”

You could see his heart shatter in that very moment as his arms fell to his sides and his eyes went blank, focusing on something in the distance.

“Sehun-”

“LEAVE!” he bellowed, “I don’t want you in my sight!”

No tears fell as he spun away from you and you could do nothing but back away in horror at what you had just done. As you sprinted back into the palace your tears fell freely even if his didn’t because in that moment when the words tumbled from your lips you knew they weren’t true. Even if you had never been sure enough before to say it out loud you always knew deep down. And as soon as you opened your mouth you knew that you did love him, possibly more than he loved you. But now you had broken him beyond repair so you pulled your bag from under your bed and raced out to where Lord Cha said he would be waiting, hoping desperately they hadn’t left yet as the sun was beginning to set.

He didn’t question the tears which were still streaming down your face bus helped you onto a horse before setting off.

When the palace walls disappeared into the darkness behind you, you also felt the last shreds of something inside you snap.

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