#the point is they cannot make a truly functional great thing until they sort out their messy feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hammersweeney6 · 2 years

Text

Does your day look like a non-stop, chaotic rush that leaves you thinking if you got all the things accomplished? There never seems to be plenty of time on the other hand, if you can take care of your time effectively, you can have a successful working day. This article has the information and facts you need to have to get your time on monitor and bring achievements to your day.

Use a timer to your gain. Allot only a unique amount of money of time for each process, and use your timer to hold you concentrated on how much. As an example, if you come to feel you can get the job done up to an hour, then set your timer for 15 minutes, consider a little break and then repeat this method right up until you have achieved your goal. Make a list. In some cases it is really less difficult to manage your time when you know just what you have to do. Compose down particularly what you would like to achieve and get started off. As soon as you end one particular task, mark it off your checklist. This can support you feel accomplished and assistance you carry on on your to your objective. To make a precedence listing timetable that will function, it truly is critical to approach for points that may interrupt any time needed for responsibilities. If you have jobs and appointments to do after just about every other devoid of factoring in some thing like unexpected phone calls, your day could be thrown off. Preparing for disruptions can continue to keep you on routine. Search into getting a time administration class. It's possible you just usually are not confident how to arrange your time. Having a class can aid you figure out what is vital and what isn't. You can obtain these lessons at nearby colleges and even on line. Usually they are very low cost or even cost-free. Construct time in your day for unforeseen interruptions. It can be time to individual the fact that you can not regulate what occurs each moment. Points happen, irrespective of whether you want them to or not. So increase in buffer time into your program to take care of these moments. That way, at the finish of the working day, you can expect to even now feel achieved! Look at not donning a observe. It appears counterintuitive to time administration, but some persons are clock watchers. They get targeted on the time, to the detriment of actual time management. You have to have to totally free on your own of this to actually focus. In reality, you'll find that it is pretty liberating and powerful to just get down to perform without having remaining the slave of a clock or observe. In purchase to control your time a lot more properly, prioritize your daily responsibilities. Responsibilities that are unimportant and time-consuming can acquire up a great deal of your time during the working day. Prioritizing all your responsibilities will enable you devote additional electricity and time on individuals duties that are additional important to you. Believe it or not, 1 of the ideal things you can do to control your time is to acquire your time. By hurrying via important jobs, you may well make glitches that drive you to start more than. Using your time the first time all over assures the career is carried out the correct way. Acquire some neighborhood classes on time management. mlb중계 will give you tons of strategies on how to retain your schedule. Some firms even offer you this sort of schooling to their staff to assist them be more effective in the day. If you cannot uncover a time administration class by your employer, group colleges and libraries give them as properly. Organize your working day into sections to use your time far better. See if you can clump similar function together so that you can achieve things faster. If you have obtained a number of factors that require to materialize outside the house the house, then carry out them as a group. It's going to help save you time and a whole lot of strength too. When you agenda your day, do it in purchase of value. This is an outstanding approach of setting up your day. Look at which responsibilities are most important for you to total on a individual day. Check out listing them at the top of your agenda. Then, perform on the points that are a lot less vital. Can you see how time can be managed to greater effect? You do not have to operate by way of your day chaotically any longer. Applying the tips and tips in this article, you can simply handle a working day with no leaving you feeling undone. Make the most of what you uncovered in this article and get again on a thriving keep track of.

#무료스포츠중계

0 notes

frogtanii · 3 years

Text

[buckle up; this one is a long one (1.6k words)]

things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

she was supposed to show up, apologize “sincerely,” and the boys, her boys, were supposed to welcome her with open arms and swiftly discard of you.

instead, she was sitting in the back of a cramped police car with two pigs, one of which had a horrible b.o. problem and an affinity for sauerkraut.

it was so frustrating.

and, of course, it was all your fault.

you’d been blocking her from true happiness ever since the beginning when you’d first met in middle school. it was crazy because you’d actually seemed nice; kind, understanding, and you didn’t judge her for what her father did to her mother or for how she acted out because of that.

sure, you were a little weird and sometimes you could be downright rude to other kids in your class but you cared for her in a way that no one else had before.

(un)fortunately, you didn’t come alone — you were a packaged deal. your childhood friend, daishou, came into her life right along with you. she didn’t mind at first; daishou was fun when he wanted to be but he was mostly full of snarky comments and sarcastic quips.

the three of you spent all your time with each other; from playing at the playground to helping her begin her makeup youtube channel in 8th grade.

you all got along pretty well up until you got to highschool. once there, you threw yourself into your studies, sort of retracting yourself from her and daishou.

how selfish.

she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by you—you knew how bad she was at making friends and you didn’t even care, leaving her all alone to fend for herself.

well, not all by herself.

daishou was a constant. no matter where she was, or how alone she was feeling, he was there to provide entertainment at the most, and his presence at the least.

it wasn’t always the healthiest, most functional friendship, she could admit that. there were weeks that daishou would choose to ignore her for no apparent rhyme or reason, citing his explanation as he just didn’t feel like it.

obviously it sucked but he was her only friend, ever since you so cruelly abandoned them. i mean, you still ate lunch with them every day and invited them over to study and hang out, but it was not the same.

with you so absent, she grew closer and closer to daishou to the point she was spending almost every waking moment with him. and, as the story so goes, she fell for him, head over heels.

she knew it was a bad idea, if their friendship was anything to go off of but she didn’t care. she was desperate for love and physical affection and he seemed willing to at least give her the latter.

after she decided to confess, nerves all the way in her throat and a box of chocolates behind her back, daishou took her virginity in the back of his ford fusion, hard, fast and nothing like she’d imagined.

the next day, she’d cornered you in the library (where you always seemed to be) to tell you the good news. your face was unusually blank as she detailed the best night of her life to you, your response being less than stellar when she was done. “please be careful,” you had said.

what did that even mean? you clearly wanted to keep daishou safe from her which was ridiculous because weren’t you supposed to be her friend too? she’d stormed out of the library after that, determined to demand a kiss from daishou to make her feel better.

that day was one of the last that she’d see you for a while. you got caught up with clubs and schoolwork (and apparently therapy for god knows what) while she got caught up with daishou.

things with him weren’t... great. they never really were but things were getting even worse. his random bouts of silence got longer and though it was only freshman year and they’d been dating for less than 5 months, he’d meet with her after school with a hickey plastered on his collarbone that she knew she didn’t put there (she sucked even harder over the spot to claim it as her own).

as she said, things weren’t great but they weren’t horrible either. they remained that way all the way up until sophomore year.

you and her had drifted even further, hardly speaking to one another unless it was for a project or to vaguely greet one another in the halls. it was okay though. you had all your other friends and she... well she had daishou.

speaking of, her “boyfriend” had been more distant than usual. she wasn’t an idiot and she knew he’d been seeing other girls on the side, but she believed she would be the one he’d end up with, the one he’d marry.

how foolish she had been.

it was prom night and she felt beautiful. her beauty channel had finally begun picking up traction (she’d just hit 13k subscribers the night before!!) so she filmed a prom night makeup tutorial, making sure that every square inch of her face was perfect. donning a silky blue floor length dress, she felt like a princess and she certainly looked the part.

she showed up to daishou’s house about 30 minutes before the event, ringing his doorbell with an elated grin painted all over her face. he had mentioned in passing that his parents and older sister would be out for the weekend, leaving the house for themselves. that meant sex and sex meant being wanted.

after the third ring of the bell, she started to get nervous. maybe he wasn’t ready yet? maybe he needed help with his tie? just when she was about to wring the bell again, the door swung open to reveal daishou... not in his suit.

“oh, it’s you,” he’d grumbled. “‘m not goin’ to prom.” she felt her breath catch in her throat. she’d protested and begged for an explanation but he wouldn’t give one to her. eventually, she’d followed him into his house, furious because how could he do this to her? on her night?

it didn’t take very long for him to get fed up, his snake-like eyes honing in on her, filled with venom. “‘m not goin’ because i don’t like you anymore. you still look pretty though.”

just like that, with just a few words, he’d shattered her heart. she was frozen in place, completely disconnected from daishou, her love, as he not-so-gently pushed her out the door, slamming it in her face.

she felt tears stream down her cheeks and before she knew it, her legs were carrying her to a place she hadn’t been in months.

banging frantically on the door, she cried out, begging for someone, anyone to hear her. the door opened quickly and there you stood. you’d clearly been studying but as you took in her frazzled appearance, it seemed as though your heart broke.

you ushered her inside, sat her own the couch, and began to make her a cup of tea, your parents having been out for the night as well. once the kettle went off, you quickly prepped her drink and gave it to her, the words flowing out of her like liquid once she had taken a sip.

she didn’t know why she was even there but despite the animosity between the two of you, you seemed like you truly... cared. (neither of you mentioned the tears that stained your favorite t shirt or the quiet apologies you muttered into her hair).

that night quickly went and passed and by the next day, she was feeling rejuvenated and more like herself. however, that feeling quickly dissipated when she caught you in the hallway between classes speaking with daishou behind the stairwell in hushed tones.

within the span of a few hours, her heart had been broken twice and she was sure she’d never felt such heartache before.

she turned on her heel and darted away, avoiding your every attempt to talk to her for weeks and weeks until you just... stopped trying. after you’d cut off conversation, yet again, the sadness quickly festered and morphed into anger.

that anger only grew when she watched you graduate at the top of your class in your senior year, your smile blinding as you accepted your diploma. it only grew when she saw that you had made it into the university of your choice on your instagram story, her own rejection letter torn up in the bottom of her wastebin. it only grew when she saw you’d made your own youtube channel, her own going untouched and neglected (her last video had been a half-assed “get ready with me” that had more dislikes than likes due to her horrible makeup and even worse attitude).

soon enough, the rage had intensified until it had taken over her whole being. she was just so angry at all that you’d done to her, all the ways you’d ruined her life that she couldn’t keep herself from plotting your demise.

when she got the email from the hyper house management team that invited her into the house and offered the option that she could pick someone she wanted to move in as well, her anger turned into excitement.

this was her chance. this was her moment to turn your life into a living hell, to make it at least a fraction of what she went through by your hands.

she was going to make you pay and god, was it going to feel great.

the metal of the handcuffs chafed her wrists as she adjusted herself against the cool leather of the cruiser, the discomfort removing her from her reverie.

yeah, right. it seemed as though she was the only one “paying” right about now.

she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, tears filling her eyes but refusing to fall.

things definitely weren’t meant to turn out like this. not at all.

℗ poker face

not like this

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - OMFG THE BACKSTORY REVEALED I AM SO OVER IT >:(( this took me forever to write and i still wasn’t able to include everything i wanted to so hop over to my asks if you need any clarification!! oh oh && just a reminder, this playlist is from meiko’s perspective so chances are, things didn’t exactly go just like this wink wonk KAJS ANYWAYS DONT FORGET TO FEED ME ILY <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

2K notes · View notes

theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

Note

Like I know that she's been dead for centuries by the time of Twilight, but it's clear she still is effectively haunting/affecting the Volturi to this day. So what are your thoughts on Didyme and her gift?

I have a lot of thoughts on Didyme, probably too much for one post, but we’ll give it a whirl and see where we land.

Caveat that, given we never see Didyme and she’s never spoken of in the Twilight saga itself, a lot of this is me merrily headcanoning along.

Didyme

I like to think Didyme was one of those rare, very charismatic, and inherently wonderful people. This manifests itself in her gift, just being near her is enough to make you happy and see all the little joys in the world. That is to say, I don’t think her gift is a manipulative thing, but instead just an extension of her very aura. She’s one of those people whose joy is infectious.

Aro loved her enough that he never forgot her. As a fairly young vampire, though not young enough that he couldn’t do the task at hand, he came back for her and her alone in his human life. They then traveled together for centuries (likely up to a thousand years) until they became acquainted with Marcus and Caius and started the Volturi.

To me that’s very telling of Aro’s deep love for his sister. I think he cared for her very deeply, if he hadn’t, she would never have made it to the point of joining the Volturi in the first place.

Yes, I do believe Aro did murder her, and we’ll get into that, but that’s the tragedy of it all. In his short sighted desperation, Aro murdered what he loved most in this world, and now he has essentially lost Marcus all the same and the ghost of his sister will forever hang over them both.

Didyme/Marcus

I ship none of the explicit, canon, ships presented to us in Twilight except Marcus/Didyme.

We only see the after effects of it in Marcus, that he’s still grieving and barely functional two-thousand years later, and presumably will be until the end of time. So, I will admit, this is mostly me headcanoning.

But I like to believe they had something truly profound together. Marcus/Didyme could be the ship that almost, almost, convinces me that mates actually exist. Well, I certainly like to believe theirs was the kind of love seen in epics and tales and rarely in real life.

The Greek Tragedy of Didyme’s Murder

I think Didyme saw the writing on the wall when it came to the Volturi.

First, a note, I believe the primary purpose of the Volturi is the protection of mankind. Their quest is entirely too ridiculous and pointless otherwise, for a grab at eternal power they’re kings of no one and nothing, just the swift hand of judgement for strange laws like “don’t be obvious about eating the humans” born of an age when humans very much did believe in demons.

The Volturi, in the Twilight world, is the ones we have to thank for the blossoming of human civilization.

I believe she agreed with her brother’s mad vision and quest. She stuck around for far too long not to. While she presumably didn’t live long after the Volturi was founded, she was around long enough that they settled in the city of Volterra, she married Marcus, Aro felt very single and got himself a wife, and I imagine the Volturi had made great strides to establishing itself (perhaps by this point defeating the Egyptian coven, gaining Demetri, and defeating the Romanians).

I think, around this point, Didyme realized that they would be doing this forever.

Imposing this law on the vampire world, rewriting the history of mankind to remove demons, it was never going to end. They would become trapped as the Volturi, despised by all the vampire world chafing at these rules they did not understand or respect, and if she stayed too long then she would never again have freedom.

I imagine she seriously weighed her love of her brother, his dream, and her own future and decided that she could not promise forever for this madness. More, she did not want Marcus to have to become this.

And so, she decided to leave.

However, the Volturi was too newly established. This was long before Jane and Alec, and they had faced very powerful threats in recent years. Marcus is extraordinarily powerful and very complimentary to Aro’s gift. Aro believes he cannot afford to lose Marcus.

And so, in desperation, he murders his sister.

Only, Marcus never recovers from Didyme’s death, and while he has Marcus he has essentially lost him anyway.

For a while, I imagine Aro brushed it off. It was difficult, yes, but he did what had to be done. However, the years go by and I imagine it starts crushing him from the inside, and by the time we reach canon we see an Aro who is not so eager to do this again.

Faced with the same decision, I imagine Aro would have let Didyme and Marcus leave, or perhaps tried to bargain with them to come for extended visits. They would, in time, likely have returned but death is something Didyme can never return from.

This is in part why I believe Aro did not put up more of a fuss when Carlisle first left Volterra. Aro didn’t think Carlisle would find what he was looking for out there in the wide world, and while Carlisle did he also sort of didn’t, but I imagine he’d learned from Didyme and realized Carlisle needed to figure this out for himself. That, in time, Carlisle would return, as he likely would have had Carlisle not made Edward.

However, with the events of Breaking Dawn and Eclipse, this future too is doomed.

#ask #anon #didyme #twilight

362 notes · View notes

discotechque · 3 years

Text

till my hand shook with the way I fear

pairing: abed nadir/nby! reader word count: 1.6k rating: T

me and abed have neurodivergent solidarity and for that, we would be besties. also the mc in this is specifically non-binary so whatever.

There's clear haze that settles over the bar, that's the first thing Abed realizes once he settles into the space. It's dim, like most bars are and he assumes that's the charm of places like these. Jeff and Britta are adults ( he is too but he's overlooked and therefore his opinion is mute ) so he follows their guidance. Watching from afar, observing their inebriated choices while downing another shot.

He doesn’t get the point of alcohol, much less bars, and it seems the whole point is to get pleasure after an initial sting. A sharp weight that lays in the back of one's throat before elation rips through you. Bourbon burns through him with too much consequence, gin coats his mouth with a bitter tang, and wine falls flat on his tongue.

Maybe it's his upbringing, he's never witnessed his father take a sip to this day, or the pressure that rushes to his frame when he's offered a drink. Abed understands the appeal of bars, it does not mean he shares the same sentiments to them. They're noisy little backend places where melancholic characters come to waste away their sorrows, typically finding pathetic people who drool over glass rims.

However, he is not pathetic ( even if his oldest friend is rounding his seventies and community college all seemed like a folly ) and he had never been overtly dripping with melancholy. So he stood by the small arcade game in the corner, unbothered and safe, until someone offered kindness.

And he takes miles of that even if all they've given was an inch because even if he isn't pathetic or melancholic, he is greedy. He likes eyes being on him because he has so many thought he wants to share with one mouth that can only do so much. Abed is not dumb, he knows what the man wants and how his friendly touches are slowly rising above his knee.

He knows what the man wants and isn't surprise at his outburst once learning that the feelings isn't reciprocated. There's streams of Mint Julep dripping from his jaw and lashes, softly mumbling about his love for Farscape before having it degraded. Abed knows he deserves it and was warned by Annie that people are sensitive ( but he is not held by the bounds of common decency or empathy no matter how hard he tries to keep his mouth shut. )

Then, he remembers the man's proposition ( the only reason someone would be interested in him ). He isn't familiar with being viewed as a sexual object and men weren't unwelcome in his eyes. Gay? Is he gay? Maybe something that exists within the unorthodox box that is sexual realization? The questions sound so foreign even within the echo chamber of his mind.

He's in a dingy bar celebrating his best friend's birthday, this is not a time for the sexual exploration of his subconscious ( although he saves the thought because he considers if not now then when ). The drink is seeping within his clothes, it's going to stick if he doesn't move. He needs to fucking move.

And he does, swiftly pulling himself away from the chair and heading towards the bathroom. Wherever that is, Shirley said it was in the far back and Annie said fair left. Yet, she meticulous as ever so what if she always assume her left is everyone's true left and Shirley is vague with her directions but it doesn't even seem to be enjoying her time here at all.

He's not enjoying it either if he's honest. His loose shit now sticks to his chest and he knows it would make sopping sounds if the man's glass was any larger. Jeff brought them here to celebrate because they're all adults and Troy deserves to have a birthday party in style but if all Jeff and Britta do it bicker, doesn't that make them children themselves? And if he shares his companionship with them, does that make him and all the others children by association?

He's going nowhere with this train of though, this he knows but it can't ever seem to stop. His brain becomes a leaky faucet that can never be screwed back just right so it drips and drips just like the alcohol does along his jaw and lashes. Abed wants to go home but he's with his friends and it's his best friend's party and it'd be so rude of him to leave so soon. At least, that's what Annie tells him.

( Parties were far and few between when he was younger and even then, he cannot replace family functions for beings that truly care for him. )

But then he remembers you, nursing an iced tea in the corner because you are not interested in bestowing wisdom onto Troy that you do not have or participating in anybody's shenanigans. Bars are where people come to hook up or fuck up, you proclaimed on the car ride here, there's no in between.

Then he hears it, bursting against his ears as a smile splits across your face, a discotheque pop song that might be pleasant if it wasn't so overwhelming. His hand involuntarily taps against his thigh in tune with the rhythm. It helps sort out the sensations, the noise is different than the bland flavoring of water, and he knows what's what but it all feels the same in his mind.

Abed's eyelids shut, another involuntary tick he can never seem to shake, and his hand has created it's own beat. Rapid and rushed with no real rhyme or reason except for the fact that it's something that will tug his mind away from everything. ( It's the same thing he does when he's at the edge of a rollercoaster, it makes him safe. ) If everyone else can sway to a rhythm, why can't he?

"Hey," an unexpected voice softly call out to him ( tenderness within this group almost borders on unnatural ). Abed slowly opens his eyes to see you, you call out to him. He feels his hands move away from his pants, tangled within your fingers instead as you gaze at him with earnest. "five things you can see?"

Your hands feel polished, no—plush. He's afraid that if his thumbs press too hard, he'll begin to meld into your being. That's a great idea for a movie, he thinks and he knows you've been his muse from time to time. Maybe it means something, he's not willing to deep any deeper.

His eyes scan the room for a brief second before he rattles off, "The wooden floors, the bartender, the door, the chair behind you, and Annie still trying to be a Texan."

Her accent still lingers within her mind, poor acting for someone so involved a role they've assigned for themselves. The though nearly amuses him but he's getting off track, he needs to focus on you. On the way your hands gently rub over his knuckles and needs to ignore this growing pit within his stomach on whatever that insinuates.

"Four things you can feel?"

"My feet against my shoes, my jeans against my legs, how hot my ears are, your hands."

You don't let go even after he's mentioned it, instead he receives a squeeze that sounds throughout his body. A continuous cycle the runs on until you ask him for something he can taste, he doesn't know what lingers within the crevices of his mouth. ( He'd want it to be you and licks his lips without a second thought. ) Yet, settles on the answer Mint Julep.

Something about thinking this way must be wrong, he shouldn't want to keep holding your fingers or gaze into your fervent irises. He shouldn't be attracted to someone like you and shouldn't be searching for so many reason on why he has to tear himself away from your presence. Still, shouldn't doesn't stop him from doing so.

Maybe his hands have melted into yours, it'd be a good excuse on why he can't bring himself to let go. The song changes again, how long has he been in this small little world with you?

"Hey, it's Mazzy Star, this fucks so hard." he's heard of this before, maybe you've shared it with him. It's less grating on his ears, smooth melodies being shifted on strings, and he watches you sway from the corner of his eye.

( He likes to be watched but something about you commands all his attention. )

Still shifting from foot to foot, you turn to him with a far more lax expression. Both shifting into familiarity as you ask, "You wanna sit down?"

"Not really," he shoots back suddenly but you're not perturbed at his fast response reflex. However, his heart sinks as the next words tumble from his lips. "but we can stand here and sway?"

You don't pull your hand away from his, instead, pressing into his fingers as you ponder a reply. Perhaps you think this isn't real as much as he presumes you'll humiliate him for even asking. But you don't and another smile splits down your features, large than the last one he saw from across the room.

"Of course, Abed Nadir has a genius idea. Let's do it."

You don't move him from this space you've cultivated with him. Instead, wrapping arms around his neck as he places them on your waist ( he never went to prom but this is better than any teenage fantasy ). Moving side to side, never shifting around in a circle but rather awkwardly figuring out a steady pace while his stares becoming fonder while the night grows.

Abed still doesn't get the point of bars but he can figure it out the next time he's here with you.

#abed can be a little bisexual ... as a treat #anyways in this episode abed never says he straight so i am legally allowed for him to have a crisis after a drink is thrown on him #yes i picked the episode where pierce is just stuck at the door and no one gives a fuck about him #i know in 2010 nonbinary probably wasnt a popular term but im using it here bc i dont care #i don't know how much i liked this but i think it was kinda cute #julianscribbles #ch: abed nadir #abed nadir #abed nadir x reader #community x reader #abed nadir imagine #community imagine #abed nadir imagines #community imagines #nonbinary #nonbinary reader #tv: community

196 notes · View notes

spectrumed · 3 years

Text

2. voice

As a child I could not pronounce the letter R. I once complained to my mother for being so careless as to give me a name that had two R’s in it. Fredrik. Or as I pronounced it back then, “Fledlik.” Cute, right? I was a cute child, all blonde and with big blue eyes. At one point, I got surrounded by a group of older girls who forced me to pronounce my name, even though I really couldn’t. They laughed and laughed, teasing me for my inability to pronounce even my own name correctly. If I ever had a reason to develop a fetish for femdom, I think this would have been it.

Like it or not, in speech, there is no room for individual quirks. No, we’ve all got to learn how to speak properly. Historically, that has led to some pretty heinous attitudes towards regional accents, any tongue that was the standard was seen by default as being less or developed and intelligent. Regional accents were seen as practically unhygienic, the worry being that if people just got to speak as they wished, they might end up potentially thinking dangerous thoughts. While I understand the importance of being understood, it’s clear that the stigma that exists around speech difficulties stems from a place of prejudice. If a person has a lisp, do you really struggle to understand them? And while stammering can be quite debilitating, it should be blatantly obvious that shaming people who stammer, suggesting that they are bereft of intelligence, is not the way to help them. Humans are social animals, and language may be the one thing that distinguishes us as a species, it is natural that proper elocution should be treasured. But some people do struggle with their speech, and that should not cost them any respect or kindness.

As a child, I didn’t speak nearly enough. As an adult I am speaking too much. That’s the problem with you, Fredrik, you’ve never understood that there is a middle ground between two extremes. There is a way you can speak that is neither too quiet, nor too loud. It is how normal people speak. Why can’t you be normal, Fredrik? Are you going to spend this whole blog post talking about how difficult it is for you to simply learn to be like everyone else? Self-pitying yourself, much? Back in my day people pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, if they had something they struggled with, they learned to sort it all out, and they didn’t start complaining about society being all mean to them. You’re just spending too much time inside your own head, go take a swim, take up a hobby that requires you to step outdoors, it will serve you well. Don’t be a freak, Fredrik. Be normal, for once.

On a side note, “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is meant to be understood as an impossible feat. You can’t possibly pull yourself up by your bootstraps, it’s ludicrous to even suggest that such a thing may be feasible. While, yes, there are many things you can do to help yourself, ultimately, you can’t profoundly escape from a sorry situation you’ve found yourself in without some outside help. There is no shame in requiring help. To guilt someone into thinking that if they can’t do it alone, they are weak, is frankly sociopathic. Humans need each other, we take care of each other, we are there for each other. Self-sufficiency is great, but let’s not take it to levels of absurdity by suggesting that needing help from others is anything but normal. No-one succeeds in life without others there to prop them up. Instead of telling someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, you might as well tell them to go and swallow the sun, which is clearly another impossible task.

Most people will never in their lives experience what it is like to go through a neuropsychological evaluation. Turns out that it is not always such a pleasant experience. Though, considering the popularity of pseudo-scientific nonsense like the Myers-Briggs test, I am sure some folks would lie and pretend to love it. Certainly, there is a charm to being there and talking about yourself for several hours near-uninterrupted, but the exhaustion that you will feel at the end of it cannot be understated. Naturally, it does vary between who does it, and why they’re doing it. But if the stated goal is to find out whether you’ve had a neurodevelopmental disorder since you were but a young babe, then of course, there are going to be some pretty long conversations happening about those early days. Lots of stuff you may not have considered or thought about in a very long time will suddenly become very relevant to your current situation. And at the end of it all, you get some papers detailing your fashionable new diagnosis. Your entire life, all written down. Can make you feel rather wistful. And there’s really quite a surprising amount of typos included in the text, and barely any jokes.

Still, as part of my official diagnosis, there is a reference to my speech at being at times “stilted.” Though, the diagnosis does take very good care to mention that I appear intelligent and thoughtful, exhibiting a wide vocabulary and a good sense of the right words to use at the right moment. It’s flattering, for the most part. Yet, it does irk me that I could be perceived as being stilted. I know that at this point, I am being petty, because who cares if I sometimes come across as maybe a little robotic. I’ve got Asperger’s. Of course I am a robot. The closest role model we folks with Asperger’s ever had for the longest time was Star Trek: The Next Generation’s android named Data. God forbid anyone like me ever turned out to be the protagonist of a series, we’re all doomed to play the part of the robot, the alien, or the socially awkward geek. I should just be delighted that I am high-functioning. I know how much worse some have it. I should be grateful and pleased that I come across as mostly normal, mostly neurotypical. But… I really just don’t want anyone to think my speech is stilted. I don’t want to be Data. I want to be Riker.

It is never enough, you’ll never be good enough. If you fake it, they’ll see through it. If you struggle and if you work honestly to appear more normal, they won’t recognise it. As soon as they get an inkling you may be an imposter, looking like them, but having a neurologically deviant brain, they’ll single you out. For you, normalcy is an illusion. To attempt to be normal is to remake yourself only to receive nothing. Sure, you can be disingenuous, pretend you're not yourself, but it’ll never fool them. In the end, you’ll only lose yourself. Maybe I should just own the fact that my speech sometimes comes across as being stilted. Maybe I should own it. Be proud of who I am. But… sometimes I just don’t want to be me.

I want to be ignored. Sometimes, not always. But that goes for everyone. But most of all, I’d like to be able to go unseen whenever I’m not trying to impress anyone. When I’m just off to buy some milk. When I’m sitting on the bus. When I’m walking through the park. I know it is partly paranoia, but I can’t help but feel like I stick out. It’s always been like that with my friends growing up. The metaphor I used with my therapist is that I felt like a thumb. That they, my friends, were the fingers and I was the thumb. Sure, we’re similar. In many ways we’re the same. You could even say that I was crucial to making the social dynamics work. Who doesn’t like the thumb? What would you do without your thumb? But still, I was different. Some people would do anything to be different like that, to feel special. Some folks feel all invisible and forgotten in the crowd, and I’d lie if I told them that I didn’t envy them sometimes. The ability to go all invisible? That seems swell! There’s this question people like to ask as a sort of personality test. If you could choose a superpower, would you rather be able to fly, or would you rather be able to go invisible? The answer is obvious, as far as I’m concerned. Of course I’d love to be able to go invisible. To be able to exist without anyone seeing me. Without anyone judging me. Without ever having to worry if someone is going to treat me as different. For a moment to feel what it is like not to be some big, dumb, stupid, thumb.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not too anguished. Nowadays, I feel like I am in a relatively good place. But I would be lying if I told you that I still don’t get frustrated at the plethora of difficulties I face just trying to blend in. Even with family members, people who are supposed to know you the best, even then I have to go out of my way to behave a certain way, to exist a certain way, because fundamentally, they just don’t seem to get you. Not in that way. They have an image of you that you need to try and match. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell them that sometimes you need to be more direct in your communication to truly reach me, I don’t pick up on the many smaller little social cues they may throw my way, it’s still just me being silly and looking for excuses for why I didn’t understand them the first time around. And I am deathly afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings. A very prevalent misconception about autistic individuals is that we don’t care if we’re being rude. That if we are rude, our rudeness can simply be overlooked because, y’know, we’re autistic. While this sort of thing is commonly represented in media that is supposed to depict autistic characters, in real life, things don't quite work like this. Believe it or not, readers, being autistic is not a free pass to act like a dick. Autistic individuals still very much have to modulate our behaviour if we wish to fit in and be accepted. No-one will ever excuse you for being autistic. To be autistic is living with extra hurdles in your way, thinking that it’s anything but a social handicap is romanticising a diagnosis you clearly know very little about.

When I was a kid, I didn’t speak much. As far as I was concerned, I merely spoke whenever I needed to speak. It took until adulthood for me to learn that my parents and teachers were actually concerned about that. I was made to see a specialist, under the guise of learning elocution, but I’ve later come to realise that those meetings were about more than just learning to pronounce the letter R. Like, what does testing my memory have to do with diction? Yes, her job was partly to help my speech develop more in line with the other kids, but she was also there to evaluate whether or not I was intellectually disabled. I have come to learn that I had teachers at the time that were adamant about me going to a different school, more equipped to handle kids like me, but my mother vehemently defended my right to stay in the school I was in. After all, I did have friends, and to anyone who really knew me, they knew that I was a bright child. Sure, I wasn’t as communicative as the other children, but I clearly had no issues processing information, and it’s not like I was disruptive in some other way. But that was also part of the problem. The teachers that thought that I may need specialist schooling were concerned about the fact that I was too placid and too agreeable. They wanted me to express frustration at my lacking pronunciation, to see me get mad at others for not fully understanding me. That amazes me, if anything. The fact that I was a happy kid they took as some indication that I wasn’t quite right.

My mother delights in a memory of me as a kid once slamming my fist on the table and declaring that “now, I am speaking!” May I remind you that I was a cute kid. Sure, it is the sort of behaviour that parents of the old times would have spanked their kids for. Kids in the past were supposed to be quiet. To be seen, but not heard. I wonder if there’d be any kind of hubbub about my early development if I lived back then. I’d probably be seen as the ideal child, all pretty and docile and never too loud. Still, it was a moment my mother cherished, because for once, I really proved that I did have the capacity to speak. Though, I still couldn’t pronounce my R’s. But it was time for Fledlik to speak.

#neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

14 notes · View notes

quirkwizard · 4 years

Text

Stand as One

One of the major themes across manga is the importance of the connections between the protagonist and the people they associate with. They talk about how they can't make it by themselves or how they are doing everything for those they love and cherish. On the other hand is the villains. More often than not, they are the most powerful people possible, either using others for their own gain or just simply being stronger than everyone else, often doing what they do because of some selfish reason. But this is where My Hero Academia seems to differ. Instead of having a collective mindset like most of this manga seem to be leaning towards, the series seems much more oriented to the individual with heroes and much more to the collective with the villains.

Heroes, at their core, are highly individualized. It's all about a hero putting themselves out there as a brand, as a single entity that represents everything that they are about. They have their styles, costumes, and abilities, all of which are supposed to be helping the user stand out. But it goes beyond just that. Each hero is not doing what they do for altruistic reasons. Some do it for altruistic reasons, others do it for money, some do it as an easy way to become famous. As the series continues, we learn about how much a person needs to set themselves apart from other people. While they can be inspired by others to take action, it is ultimately up to themselves to get to where they want to be. The series puts a lot of emphasis is put on one's own hard work to become a hero and how hard it is to become one. It is the acknowledgement that they are weak and they can overcome this through hard work. Even Deku, who gets his power, moves, and his primary goal from All Might can still see the importance of branching and trying to do things his own way. This is reaffirmed further by Izuku learning how to grow his Quirk in news ways such as his Shoot Style.

But regardless of all that, there is a prevalent theme of effort on the side of the heroes. It is shown constantly how hard it is to become a hero, training for years at the chance of getting a license and working to get a public image. And part of that hard work is about someone growing personally, expand beyond their original comfort zones to be the best heroes they can be. Ochako branches out from her mainly supportive role to make herself more rounded, Kirishima learns to be more confident in his seemingly unimpressive ability, Shoto overcomes his personal feelings regarding his father to truly become the be hero he is capable of being. It's all about hard work and how that hard work gets that person to where they want to be. It ties in nicely back into the idea of individuality since all of these people are either made or broken by how much effort they put into their hero work. Yes, people who have strong Quirks certainly get a head start, but what ultimately determines how good of a hero that person is their effort. It's why Mirio was such a legend amount UA in spite of his ability, to the point his considered the person closest to the number one spot.

All this does mean that some people do get left behind. Look at Class 1-A for example. Despite being a group of students that are working together, they are ultimately competing against one another to try and become heroes. And while Aizawa's teaching may be harsh, it goes to show how hard it can be to function as a hero. If someone cannot make it in the hero world, they are left behind because they cannot put in the work to succeed. You either need to be in the work to become a hero or risk falling behind or failing in your work. You quite literally live and die by how good of a hero you are. And once a hero becomes official, most of the work seems to be done on their own, with teams being rarely seen in the story. The most other heroes have been sidekicks, but they are still playing second fiddle to this single entity, cursed to forever live in their boss' shadow until they can strike out on their own. Yes, heroes do work together at times, such as the join operations we see throughout the series, but most of the time they seem to work on their own.

But this individuality is in pursuit of a greater goal. While all the heroes are working against each other for money and fame, they are still working for the same objective: they help those who cannot help themselves and try to maintain peace for society. Even if a hero does not have altruistic intentions at heart, they still have to work and strive to help the most people possible, making it more about the group than the individual. But this is no better represented in then the person who stands at the very top of hero kind. The main goal of Number 1 hero is it is they are the person who is standing above everyone else, hence why so much emphasis is put on the person who actually fills that spot. To both inspire those beneath them to do better and provide a sense of comfort to the masses. They must sacrifice both in body and in soul to make sure everyone can hold on to hope. They are one for all.

As for the villains, this is one of the many ways they differentiate from heroes. When it comes to the villains, they are much more oriented to a group. This is done as a basic need to survival, coming together to oppose the much more well organized heroes, but it goes beyond just that. In working together, they are propping each other up, working far better together than they ever would apart. It is the acknowledgement that they are weak and they can overcome this through working together. Overhaul found people that were struggling to find meaning, giving them a second life under the yakuza. Re-Destro united many people under the teachings of his father and wanted the free use of Quirks for all, as misguided as it was. Even Gentle and La Brava, who are basically two ragtag nerdowells, still found and sense of completeness with one another not only in their complementary skills but in their emotional needs. This contrasts with the more solo working heroes.

Of course, this is best shown with the League of Villains. Heck, they were the inspiration for villains teaming up to get strong, both in the USJ attack and the League as a whole. But this is more so about the core League, especially true after the arrest of All For One. They work together, protect their own, seek vengeance when one of them is wronged. They grow and train together, sticking together through highs and lows to achieve what they want. This in of itself is best represented by Double, always surrounded by his allies and inspired to become stronger to protect them, and Spinner, who finds new power under the branding of villainy and the League. It's likely why so many people in the fandom gravitate towards this ragtag group of villains. They are the underdogs in the story, banding together to better fight against those with much greater advantages then they could ever hope to fight alone, whether they be heroes or different sorts of villains.

But how this differs is that this collectivism is that this all seems to be done for the sake of one person. Despite how much emphasis the villains seem to put on working together, it all seems done an individual's goal. Overhaul, for all of his talk about raising people up, still treats his subordinates as inferiors and garbage that he can toss aside. Re-Destro still sacrifices countless of his own people in the hope that he can kill members of the League. Yes, the various villains of the League seem to have their own goals and dreams, but all of that seems to be down in the pursuit of They cannot achieve their dreams on their own with the society they live in, so they must follow Tomura to get what they want. But what they want becomes superseded by what Tomrua wants. The more and more the series goes on, the more and more it seems to be all about Tomura. It stops being about the group, only focusing on Tomrua and getting him where he is now. It is all for one.

Now this isn't a perfect one to one comparison on either side. There are certainly exceptions to this idea on both sides. Hawks is someone who has his individuality striped away in favor of having an agent that will do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of the public. Stain is a figure who fights alone, trying to reform society in his own way through his actions and effort in a quite twisted manner. However, the comparison is still there for a large portion of the two sides. It's interesting to see this kind of development out of a major manga. While it still has some of the major tropes, it certainly has the roles reversed when it comes to this traditional theme. So why is this comparison here? Well I think it is to make a sort of connection to the nature of heroes. It's like Aizawa said, you can't always rely on other people to help you out a situation. If you want to help someone or help yourself, you need to put in the work and you are the only person who can make it work. It all works back into Horikoshi's inspiration of American comics and more American-style heroes, where people with the will and the way could achieve great things.

107 notes · View notes

g0dspeeed · 3 years

Text

Unconditional Positive Regard, 2

Adam Smasher is very used to getting his way.

Until he doesn’t.

=========================================

De-escalation

Adam Smasher is very used to getting his way.

Does he always get his way?

Majority of the time, yes, and primarily through intimidation. Intimidation was almost like a personality trait to Adam, the line blurring from who he was authentically and the stone-cold bravado he put out for the rest of the world to see. He utilized tried and true premeditated tactics such as calculated threats, blackmail, ransom, disrupting personal space, ignoring the spoken and unspoken rules of modern society, and frankly not giving a shit about what other people thought. Then again, said tactics occurred unconsciously, too. His physical presence alone made for a great argument. The man stands well over six feet tall, perhaps leaning more towards the seven-foot range, with broad shoulders and a deadly gaze to boot. Adam’s copper red eyes could give a look so menacing that other Arasaka operatives submitted to his authority without question.

And he loved this. He truly enjoyed wielding such power, to walk into a room and have an air of dominance over every stranger that stood before him. Made things simple. Never there to make friends, to play nice, to compromise. The only thing he sought out to do in these god-awful meetings that Arasaka forced him to attend was comply with the given, short-term objectives to a tee. Going the extra mile was only an option to Adam if it benefitted him. Or if it made the job easier, but that stopped if it meant kissing any asses that didn’t have a direct link to his eddie account.

Intimidation was effective on mostly everyone that Adam Smasher worked with or unfortunately encountered in his line of work.

Then there were the others. The ones that didn’t get the message or simply chose to make regrettable decisions. To get in the way. To make Adam’s job harder. Those were the people that required more intention on Adam’s part.

And Adam was every bit intentional with those who refused to submit.

The city appeared calm on the morning of his meeting. Wellsprings was the destination and Adam arranged the AV so he would arrive onsite early. The ride in the AV was short, but allotted Adam time to observe the Night City skyline as sun beams cut through its shadow like knives, gold and sharp and warming the streets below. Like his hometown, Night City had no concept of sleep, its population below teeming towards their next meal, deal, job in a sort of lively frenzy.

Adam himself felt tired. He still required sleep like any functioning being, experiencing a downtime where his senses and sensors went offline, and his brain, his still very organic brain, unwound and processed all that he experienced that day. Unfortunately for him, his brain didn’t want to unwind the night before, too excited about the job, too curious at what Arasaka needed an outside opinion on, and having too many questions unanswered.

What made this job so special?

Why would Arasaka seek out the opinion of someone in Night City rather than in Japan?

What made this third party so important?

Who were they?

Why them?

Why did their opinion have so much weight?

Most of all Adam wondered why he even bothered to care. The image and reputation that Adam had worked so hard to cultivate this past century should have emboldened him with steel-clad confidence in himself and his abilities. Should have. Why the anxiety? True, Arasaka was being oddly theatrical in their deliverance, but if Adam were honest with himself, he would acknowledge that he allowed a dangerous feeling to creep inside, a feeling that’s lethality pushed him to put his life at risk more than anything else: hope.

“Approaching LZ, sir.”

The flat voice of the AV’s pilot pulled Adam out of his mental reverie.

Surveying the area, he felt his suspicion rise. The AV was lowering at the top of a multi-leveled parking garage that connected to a moderately large, white building. The glass windows were polarized with a shade of gold, giving no indication as to what occurred behind them. Adam also noticed a lack of sign or company name, save for a white emblem that looked like the image of a lighted torch. Clean and shimmering, the emblem rested on the building’s corner, as if it were a true, living flame.

As the AV pulled away, Adam headed near the large elevator that sat on the opposite side of his landing zone. Gravel crunched beneath him, the annoying sound adding to his already agitated mood. Just as he approached the control panel, the elevator doors opened with a faint hiss.

Out stepped a fit, middle-aged man with dark, neatly combed hair, navy slacks, and a trim, button-up shirt. The man was occupied with rolling up the shirt’s sleeves, revealing a variety of tattoos on each bicep. Adam noticed a large NUSA script standing out amongst the rest. The man’s face illuminated with a white smile when their eyes met.

“Good morning, Mr. Smasher,” he greeted, his voice deep and rich. “I apologize for any waiting that we might have caused you.”

Adam grunted as he sidestepped the man to enter the elevator. He didn’t have to duck his head, an odd experience for him.

The stranger seemed unaffected by Adam’s response, maintaining a polite smile and joining him in the elevator. As the doors closed, he stepped forward and pressed one of the buttons.

“When we arrive to the office, we request that you place all weapons-”

“No.”

A pause.

The man resumed.

“-in our reservoir and deactivate any and all combat cyberware.”

“Out of the question.”

Adam turned to face him. The smile had faded, but much to Adam’s chagrin there was a hint of amusement in the man’s hazel eyes.

“I know that our policy opposes your own,” he stated. “But it is a requirement of this office.”

The elevator slowed.

“Are you the third party in the contract?” Adam asked lowly.

“I am not,” answered the man.

The doors opened as they arrived to their floor.

“Then you are of no use to me,” said Adam.

Walking into the space, his brows furrowed. He had arrived at an open lobby that was full of soft chairs and with tall windows aligning the walls. There was a gentle scent in the air, something floral that added to the relaxing ambiance of the floor. Some art was on the walls as well, but what distracted Adam was the sight of a single set of large, double doors.

No one was there other than Adam and the man who continued to speak to him.

“Welcome to Torch. This is our Services floor.”

Again, the man received a cold reply as Adam ignored him and approached the large doors. Giving the doors a firm tug, they didn’t budge from the frame. He tried again, this time with more effort, and became agitated when they failed to give.

“This building prohibits the presence of any and all firearms, as well as combat cyberware,” stated the man, his tone informative and light.

Turning to glower at the man, Adam saw that he was gesturing to a unit in the wall.

“We have reservoirs on each floor, calibrated with genetic security software to guarantee that only you can have access to them. We do not sell or use any of the collected data. It is strictly for security. Not even our own staff can touch your things without your consent, Mr. Smasher.”

Adam stalked towards the man with heavy, deliberate steps.

“Open the door,” he commanded.

“I cannot-”

A hard, mechanical hand reached out to grip the man’s throat.

“Open the door,” repeated Adam. The man’s struggling body was lifted from the tiled floor with ease. “Or I will break you,” added the merc in a whisper.

The stranger struggled in his grasp, attempting and failing to loosen Adam’s hold with his own cybernetic fingers.

“Open the fucking door,” Adam commanded again, his anger growing with each passing moment.

“I-It won’t open,” gasped the man. “Not until I see you put your weapons in the reservoir.”

The lump in his throat bobbed against Adam’s palm.

“Think I give a damn about your policies and protocol?” he rumbled. “I can just pop off your fucking head clean off your shoulders, then I’ll rip open those doors myself-”

“A-And she still won’t see you.”

Adam blinked in confusion. The man had no fear in his voice. No, the opposite. Bold. Certain. His whole demeanor was solid, his eyes never breaking away from that of the mercenary.

“She won’t see you,” repeated the man. “She’s not one for intimidation. N-Never will be.”

With a new blaze of anger, Adam lifted the man higher. The man gasped heavily as the grip became tighter on his air way, his face reddening into a deep scarlet.

Behind them, the doors burst open.

“Mr. Smasher!” yelled a voice. A woman’s voice. “Put him down!”

His head turned in the direction of the sound, his anger near the tipping point of rage.

Standing in the doorway was a woman. She stood before a group of other women, all afraid, their eyes wide and trembling fingers touching lips. One of the fearful women looked to be attempting to pull the other back, but with no luck. She stood firm in a white, form-fitting dress, the garment hiding most of her olive skin and hugging her curves beautifully. Her hair was dark and fell in waves at her shoulders and down her back. Oddly enough she was barefoot, revealing a blood red polish on her toes that matched her fingernails. Simple gold jewelry complimented her complexion.

The woman’s face, though attractive, wore a look of pure admonishment.

“Are you the one hired by Arasaka?” called back the mercenary, his voice still strained.

“Put him down,” repeated the woman. “Now.”

“Answer my question-”

“Not until you put down Dr. Estrada.”

Their eyes locked. Gold like her jewelry, they burned intensely with a heat that Adam could practically feel. His own resolve faltered at her ultimatum, mostly because he wasn’t used to anyone, let alone a woman, making one.

The man’s body dropped loudly to the tile.

To Adam’s surprise, the woman immediately relaxed. Gone was the fire in her eyes and features. Posture eased. She then entered the lobby. The women behind her silently panicked, their mouths agape at seeing her walk past Adam, bare feet padding across the tile, to attend to the fallen man. The man had recovered after a brief coughing fit and was sitting up with a grin. He accepted her offered hand.

“So all of this,” she said calmly, directing the man to the doorway. “Is because of our weapons policy?”

“Are you the one hired by Arasaka?”

His tone was more level, matching hers. The anger was long forgotten.

“I am,” she replied. “Will you be able to make our appointment or should we reschedule?”

Adam frowned at the question.

Without saying a word, he began walking towards the doors. Her frame stiffened. In a stride she stood between Adam and the opening.

“You want to keep our appointment,” she acknowledged. “Please put your weapons in our reservoir and deactivate any and all combat cyberware.”

And like a switch, his fury returned ten-fold.

“I’m not going to go by your bullshit policies!” he yelled. “We’re meeting today! Stop wasting my fucking time and let’s get this shit over with!”

Pulse raced in his body, so strongly that he swore they could hear it. The doctor stood behind the woman, eyes shifting between her and Adam nervously. He saw how the man’s hands tightened into fists, as if ready to intervene at any moment. The other women were frozen in fear.

What did these fucking people not understand?

Adam was here to do a job.

He didn’t have to abide by whatever policies they were giving him.

It wasn’t going to happen.

All appeared terrified and concerned.

All except for her.

That woman with the dark hair and powerful, golden eyes remained by her place at the doorway, her focus on Adam and staring directly at him as if he hadn’t just yelled at her. If she was afraid of Adam, she sure didn’t show it.

A moment passed before he got a response.

Her voice was touched with a new softness, her face gentle.

“I hear you,” she said. “You are strongly against what we’re asking of you, Adam, and we’re asking a lot. This is our policy. It is important that our clients feel safe here. If depositing your weapons and turning off your cyberware is not acceptable to you, that’s fine, but it is our expectation. You can do what we ask and retrieve your things when our meeting is over or we can reschedule when you’re ready.”

Dark eyes blinked in confusion. No doubt his anger remained, but at hearing her words, the calmness in her voice, he found it oddly abated. Only slightly, but abated nonetheless.

He swallowed.

“Out of the question,” Adam answered lowly.

As if expecting his response, the woman simply nodded.

“Okay,” she said, that damn smile once more spreading across her full lips. “That’s your choice. The elevator can take you to the floor that Dr. Estrada met you at. Please reach out to our office so we can reschedule.”

Before he could muster up a response, the woman quietly closed the doors.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #adam smasher #i guess im cursed now #cyberpunk fanfic #cyberpunk fic

8 notes · View notes

mordigen · 3 years

Text

Wicca is a Sex Cult - you won’t change my mind. Pt 3

....

It took weeks of preparation - I was given homework to do to prepare myself. I was given a special diet to stick to and varying cleansing rituals were performed on me to purify my mind, body & spirit. All of these things made me feel more comfortable - it was being treated very much like a very important, spiritual ritual. It did not feel creepy or seedy. My - attendants? I guess is the best way to call them, 3 women of varying ages that were to be the “witnesses”, and were all very kind and caring and motherly. They answered any questions I had, they were supportive and encouraging. They made it feel very much like an exciting journey and the beginning of something wonderous and magical once I was officially a member. I was starting to become more resolute in making this happen. And not really second guessing myself anymore. I thought it was working - I was losing the strict, prude mindset my upbringing had chained me to.

The day of I was led into a community-center type building, I have no idea if the coven owned this building - had rented it out for the day, or if it was, in fact, a public community center they were actually expecting to carry this out in. I’m not sure which one is more disturbing - but it was dark, they had it lit up with candles everywhere. Music was playing and a few people were singing and chanting. It was, really, very lovely and peaceful and soothing, though there were more people there than I thought there would be. Again - it felt very thoughtful and ritualistic and taken very seriously. They were all very much invested in this, and that made me feel better somehow - this wasn’t just a joke to them. (A performance, maybe...but not a joke) My 3 ladies allowed me to undress privately - something else that gave me great comfort, it made me think they don’t want nudity or sexuality just for the hell of it, but that this was, in fact, a very sacred ritual to them - and gave me a robe that had been painted in runes and sigils that were supposed to help consecrate the ritual and my body. They walked me out into the main room, they cast a circle with lots of flair and singing, and laid out a bed-roll like cushion in the middle. They draped it in white linen, said some incantations and saged it. They brought me into the circle and did their incantations, and saged me. Again - all very ritualistic and spiritual - seemed very kosher and serious - Until they got to the point where they unrobed me and actually laid me on the cushions.

I started panicking inside. The “Priest” came out from the other room carrying an incense burner, and chanting. What, I have no idea - it wasn’t English, it wasn’t Irish, it wasn’t French. Those were the languages I knew, so I knew it wasn’t any of them - sounded very much like Gregorian Chants. So perhaps is was Latin, or perhaps it was completely made up nonsense. I have no idea. But he was already very obviously aroused - I panicked even more. Even though I was trying to keep it inside, it was starting to be noted that I was panicking. One of the three ladies tried to calm me down, she was reassuring. But I can’t even remember what she was saying - I don’t think I was able to hear her even then. The “Priest” carried on with his incantations, a few people lit candles and sprinkled salt at intervals. The brought forth various branches that were supposed to signify different things - and then it was “time”. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that he had no condom - and no inclining to be producing one from anywhere. I finally came back to my senses and actually asked / objected to this notion. One of the ladies told me that condoms were not used as it obstructed the contact between bodies becoming “one” and therefore lessened the spiritual connection to the God / Goddess being invoked in us. I. Flipped. My. Shit.

Let’s ignore for a moment that this ENTIRE THING is horribly wrong, and remember I was a young, dumb, easily influenced teen - but thankfully THAT snapped brain cells back into function, and rational, logical, objective thought back into me. No one had ever discussed this idea with me - hadn’t even mentioned it, let alone asked if it was something I was comfortable with or willing to go through. No discussion of any type of protection in the off change that I had agreed. I was done. I told them I didn’t want to do this. THEY FOUGHT ME.

Guys. GUYS. THEY FOUGHT ME. the *WOMEN* fought me. The “Priest” started getting angry and belligerent, and started making comments about being blue-balled. SO SPIRITUAL, mmmhmm. They did everything in their power to try to convince me to go through with it - the “Priest” started taking off his robe, AS IF HE WAS JUST GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY. I started yelling - that was the only thing that shifted their focus, they were now trying to get me to quiet down. Someone FINALLY spoke up and suggested that this wasn’t right, if I didn’t want to do it then I didn’t want to do it. The “Priest” stormed off angry, started cussing and yelling and throwing things. One of the ladies offered to ‘take care of him’ !! Yes. You read that right. Oh yes, this whole charade was SO SPIRITUAL guys. He was only worried about getting his rocks off. Don’t even ask me what everyone else was getting out of it - voyeurism ? they get off on control and deceit?? I dunno. Don’t ask me - I will never fucking understand it. I was humilated, and SO unbelievably ashamed. How could I be so fucking stupid, and easily manipulated, and so jealous of my friend to put myself in that kind of position???

It was only after they realized I had packed up and left did they send someone out after me .....TO MAKE SURE I WASN’T GOING TO TELL ANYONE. Not to make sure I was OK. Not to offer some sort of sorry-ass apology or excuse. No. To make sure I wasn’t going to narc them out. I was so ready to get out of there an never see any of them again, I - like an IDIOT - agreed to not tell anyone. For YEARS. (They did, eventually, all get arrested so don’t completely lose your minds, guys)

You can tell me I just ran into a bad group of people - that not everyone is like that, and not every coven is like that. And while, yes, that may be true - I will explain why I take extreme issue with this:

If it were just a few bad apples, then why did every group I encountered have predatory issues? Every-one.

Even the groups I didn’t engage with, I couldn’t because I was underaged - specifically because of the sexual interactions. By their own admittance. What degree those interactions are? We’ll never know - but their is a greater, underlying, systemic issue when a group - or a faith - by doctrine - is so sexually oriented. Let’s take out the issue of minors - full grown ass adults can be manipulated and abused. So if you’re entire religion is based so heavily on illicit activities, there is a greater issue. If it is a *requirement* - that is a problem. And the only reason to have strict 18+ limits on a religion is if it is a *requirement*. That is a cult. If it is simply one option amongst many, than to each their own - however you want to personally and privately practice, more power to you - but if it is only an option, then there is no need to preach or practice it in an entire public group setting, and then in that case no need to exclude minors.

Also, much later on we discovered that the “Coven” my friend was a part of was, for lack of better description, just a giant orgy. They pressured her into getting birth control so she could engage “unrestricted” in their activities. What we, the idiots, believed was so much power and strength and confidence we discovered later on that everyone else just called her a whore - because what this group had psychologically instilled in her was you get what you want through sex. They had oversexualized her and way too young, and impressionable age - So she had sex with anyone, and everyone, for whatever reason. She thought she was “empowered”, but even now - to this day (or at least, the last time I talked to her in our adult lives) I don’t think she fully comprehends what they did to her. She is absolutely not empowered.

Even to this day, this argument continues in the Pagan community. As recently as a month ago I was engaged in a debate about initiating minors. Sex is ALWAYS argued as being a part of the craft. Now, read me clearly - I am not discrediting sex magick, or anyone who decides to use it in their own craft, or anyone who decides to perform their rituals nude. If that is what feels right for you - do it. But there is a very profound difference between deciding what is right for you, and being told that *THIS* is *HOW* you *DO IT*. Do you know how many times I have heard that “Skyclad” is the *right* way to perform your magic? That is you’re not doing it, then your ritual or workings will be less affective? That you cannot properly attune yourself if you’re clothed? The list goes on and on. Do you know how many times I have heard the Great Rite defended and heralded as the “most powerful” initiation ??? Or the most spiritual ritual ? That it has a solid and sacred place in the working, speaking of it in a manner as if it should be a goal for everyone at some point or another to engaged in this ritual at some point in their journey, or else they haven’t truly achieved....whatever it is they are touting should be achieved. Nirvana, enlightenment, higher vibrations....whatever. These arguments I have had as recently as yesterday. And continue to be regular topics of discussion and shaming - right on up there with cultural appropriation.

And no - not everyone is going to behave this way or condone these activities, I am aware of that. There will inevitably be people out there who identify as Wiccan that will be adamantly against these things - but the issue with being either the rule or the exception is doctrine and dogma. And believe you me - this IS indoctrinated in the faith. This is Dogma. Read Gardener’s work - look at his beliefs. Follow his structure and rules. When it is expected of the followers. When it is a standard, or default. When it is a tenet of a faith - that is when it becomes a problem. That is when you start walking the line of a Cult.

And It is these very teachings that are why this is so pervasive in our community. You see it blasted all over the blogs, in our circulars and magazines. Predators are so prevalent in our community, because this man - this cult - has not only normalized it, but teach it as a tenet of the faith. And Wicca itself has become so indoctrinated in the community, that people forget - EVERY DAY- That Wicca isn’t the ONLY path out there, and that their rules aren’t the ONLY rules. Raise your hands if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by the Three Fold Law. Look how long it took me to figure out that wasn’t the only path out there? AND I had family that were pagans, and it STILL took me that long! Granted, I had the very wrong idea of what Wicca actually was from the get go, but I didn’t know how to distinguish it from anything else. I didn’t know how to separate it from paganism as a whole. I luckily had family in the community who stepped in after my ordeal with the Covens - and not only helped me heal, and protected me - and were the catalysts in them being investigated and arrested. Luckily these people were able to actually step in and help straighten out things I had “learned”, and guide me in a real way. Not everyone has that, and now with the internet, there are even more avenues for newcomers and the innocent and naïve to be led astray. And they will take it as gospel - as my friends and I once did - because they are searching, and don’t know any better. And those are the very type that Cults prey upon.....and whadoya know, those are also the very same ones to fall into the Wiccan claws - that is a cult.

People will also try to argue how...well, how big it is. Nothing that far-reaching or popular can be a cult. But I’d point you to a certain Big Blue building down in Florida and kindly suggest you find a new argument - that’s not flying here. Size nor influence matters. And no, that does not mean every single person that identifies as Wiccan is horrible or delusional or evil or a predator - but as much as a few bad apples don’t make the whole batch bad; a few good apples in a tainted orchard doesn’t suddenly save the whole grove.

-M

9 notes · View notes

atinykidult · 4 years

Text

A War Against Your Personal Space — Jung Wooyoung

[prompt request] [1900 words] — spy!au, enemies to lovers, “Hold your fire!”/”Suck on that!”/”Shut up for a second, will you?”/”I don’t even know why we’re doing this.”

[content notes] [fluff] — There’s firearms, cussing, respectively dramatic/knowing Seongsang, endearingly annoying Wooyoung, competition, red cheeks, a lowkey cliche but satisfying(?) premise, etc., etc.

[a/n] — I’m so sorry if the lack of action is disappointing! I’m not great at it, so I focused on the recon/practice/snarky/non-fabulous aspects of the Spy!au. But there’s still plenty of aggression haha Thank you for reading! <3

Jung Wooyoung is a piece of shit.

That’s the only thing you can think as you continuously fire at the moving targets.

Bang, bang, bang!

Next to you, he’s doing the same.

(That is, firing at the targets. The shithead probably doesn’t even have thoughts in his head, and, therefore cannot be thinking.)

You’re doing well until you miss one target on your non-dominant side.

You aim more carefully and—

Bang!

Next to you, Wooyoung’s looking at you with an infuriatingly cocky smirk.

“You took my target!” you growl at him, angrily tearing off your ear protection.

He gives you a look. “And you missed!”

You let out a screech of anger, and without thinking do the one thing every firearm safety instructor says not to do:

You point your gun at your teammate.

His eyes are still sparkling with competition and mischief as he raises his hands. “Hold your fire,” he says almost lazily. (Your eyes keep getting drawn back to the damn smirk on his lips.)

Annoyance courses through you like a migraine.

Your hand’s itching to cock and fire.

Sadly, you would be in loads of trouble and job searching if you did.

So you drop the gun and walk away. Let him clean up.

You’re almost out the room when you hear him.

“I knew you wouldn’t! You love me way too much for that!”

“Asshole!”

Then you’re out of earshot, and Yeosang’s dry voice echoes over the intercom.

“You know, I wouldn’t have blamed them if they’d done it.”

“Hey!”

“It was their shot. And we both know they could have gotten it. You just wanted to show off.”

Your pride’s still smarting two days after the firing range incident because it was true you had missed.

But, still.

As you walk into work a few days later, everyone’s gathered around the whiteboard.

“Y/N! Congrats!”

With that, you know you’re employee of the month.

Yeosang’s smile is a little knowing as you join him in the center of the crowd.

There’s your name on the board, with the most votes collected.

“Your last case was really, really good!” someone comments.

Giving your thanks over your shoulder, you’re looking over who voted for you when you reach it.

The reason why Yeosang has that shit-eating grin on his face.

“It really was a pristine field mission,” a sugar sweet voice whispers in your ear. “So exquisitely done.”

You force your face to be emotionless. “Morning, asshole.”

“Morning, sore loser.”

(That’s been your nickname for the last two days.)

“But, very clearly, I’m the winner.” You nod to the board. “For the whole month. So suck on that!”

“Oh, yes. You’re welcome, by the way.”

Yeosang’s judgmental gaze reminds you that Wooyoung is still standing too close to you, that his warm breath is still fanning over your ear. That your cheeks are burning with anger.

Was he in a war against your personal space or something?

You storm out of the circle, trying to keep your blood pressure to a reasonable level.

When you’re sorting through files with Yeosang later that day, you’re ranting about Wooyoung.

Eventually, he must get fed up with it.

“I know something you don’t,” he singsongs, casually dropping a folder on your side of the desk.

His expression, for what feels like the millionth time this week, is annoyingly knowing. Like he’s watching a friend push the door that says pull.

Because he’s just that kind of person, you grouch to yourself.

“...And what would that be?”

He glances at the folder he just tossed down.

Snatching it up, you find a single page of infuriating news.

“I am not working with that infantile, ridiculous, shit-for-brains—”

“I see you got the memo, too.”

And, within eight seconds, three things happen:

Wooyoung and his damn smirk materialize next to your desk.

Yeosang and his faux sweet grin leave the space next to you.

And you lose your highly annoying but perfectly lovely filing-help to the utterly disappointing replacement of Jung Wooyoung.

The disappointing replacement leans back and throws an arm around you. “I’m looking forward to working with you, partner.”

You groan and shrug his arm off.

“Of course you both have to do it! We picked our two prettiest agents! For this level of case, you really should blend in after all.”

“Seonghwa, sir,” you seethe, “literally any other person in this whole building is prettier than Wooyoung.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Both men level a searching gaze at you. Seonghwa’s is more analytical, and you avoid it. But that means you end up staring at Wooyoung’s for a moment too long.

You both look away at the same time.

“Anyways.” You swallow. “You’re absolutely sure?”

“Y/N.” Seonghwa’s using his director’s voice; now you’re in for it. “You’re staking out the bars where all the pretty movie stars spend their evenings and get drunk, and find nice, also pretty companions for the night, and…”

You don’t know why you glance at Wooyoung when Seonghwa’s saying that. But you do.

You’re surprised to see him already looking at you.

“...So, yes, I’m sure you have to do it. And yes, I truly mean both of you.”

Realizing your cheeks are burning (a common theme recently), you stand abruptly. “Fine.”

Wooyoung has a triumphant grin on his face and copies you. “Fine!”

Seonghwa waits until you’ve both left his office when he texts Yeosang:

I did it T-T I convinced them they’re both prettier than me

u mean u took the first step at getting them past their rivalry?

At the cost of my self-esteem T-T

You spend the first four days doing research, where you try (and fail) to keep things peaceful by ignoring him.

Just email the link, even though he’s sitting next to you.

Just scribble down your thought on a sticky note.

Just ignore him when he bothers you.

Just! Ignore him! Especially when he bothers you.

“I’m telling you!” you finally shout. “If you actually read your contract you would have realized that your fucking lunch break—”

“Okay, okay!” he surrenders, grinning like he’s the one who won.

A few people look over at you, and as you realize this, you also realize how Wooyoung had propped against your side of the table in his ever-constant war against your personal space.

“Sit up and act like you’re a half-functional adult,” you snap.

“I’m not the one who shouted. But yes, ma’am.”

You bite your lip at the way her purrs the last words.

Don’t kill him, don’t kill him, don’t pull out the knife… you remind yourself.

So, it’s sad but true that some days you feel like you fail more than you succeed.

But you can’t be too angry when you realize at the end of day four:

“I can’t believe it. We have a whole case proposal — names, proofs, dates, everything,” you murmur, proudly scrolling down the document.

“All we’ll have to do is actually plan the operation and pick out our outfits,” Wooyoung agrees.

“Which is basically nothing since we have all of next week!”

“This is true.”

The euphoria a doing good work washes over you, and you can’t help but beam at him. “It should have taken way longer.”

"I know! We’re—” He snaps his mouth shut, shaking his head as though his words were unimportant.

To be honest, you feel fond of him as he just smiles softly. (He actually has a really nice smile, you notice.)

Then the moment passes, and you turn back to the computer.

(But he keeps looking at you.)

Wooyoung’s sitting down for lunch with Yeosang when the latter blurts: “You had stars in your eyes earlier. With Y/N.”

“You think I don’t know it?” he groans.

Yeosang pulls out his phone a few minutes later:

fuck i almost let it slip that we were watching them earlier but i dont think wy noticed bc hes oblivious as a rock

Only one hour after that, Wooyoung and you receive the worst possible news.

Which leads to you finding yourselves in an empty office at 11 that night.

“Fuuuu-uh-uuuuck,” groans Wooyoung.

You tiredly rub your eyes and kill all your tabs.

“My brain... is just… fuuuuck.”

Inclined to agree, you open a new window with slow, depressed typing.

“I can’t believe Seonghwa thought we could go in tomorrow. Tomorrow, Y/N! Why tomorrow?”

The screen doesn’t change for a good ten seconds. What were you even thinking again?

“I haven’t pulled a night this late ever! Besides field jobs obviously. But for those you’re doing something, and here we’re doing basically nothing, and I wish we were doing something—”

You draw circles on the screen with your mouse. What even were you thinking... it was a thought… it existed...

“And this is a form of abuse! I swear! If Yeosang somehow got Seonghwa to do this to us just because ‘you had stars in your eyes,’ I’m going to fucking—”

“Shut up for a second, will you?” you moan.

“...Make me.” His voice is sounds different from tiredness.

“Never heard that one before.”

“Please make me?”

There’s something in his tone that catches your attention.

When you give him an incredulous look, you find him looking at your lips. And you’re so exhausted you literally can’t process. (As you head home about fifteen minutes later, you start to process. And you realize you hadn’t hated it at all.)

“Let’s go home,” you suggest quietly. “I don’t even know why we’re doing this.”

(As you step inside your house, the rational side of you wonders what would have happened if you had stayed.)

At some point, he moves very close to you.

(He finally won his war against your personal space, you realize as you brush your teeth.)

Very close.

(Capping your lip balm container, you press your lips together and recall how his felt, pressed against yours. So softly, at least for your perception of Wooyoung. So skillfully, which does match your perception of him.)

His face is still close, but now he’s looking into your eyes.

(He has very pretty eyes; you picture them as you slip under your blankets.)

“Let’s go home,” you repeat breathlessly, “and deal with this all tomorrow.”

His hands, callused and controlled thanks to your profession, rest gently on your neck.

“Do you think all of this… All of this will work out?”

His voice is like starlight, wavering and hopeful and the sole brightness in the dark office.

“I think there’s a very good chance that this all will work out.”

(As your head hits the pillow, you look forward to the next day. Sure, Seonghwa’s going to throw a fit because you’re not ready for a case tomorrow. But you’re really looking forward to working everything out. Everything.)

[general ateez taglist] — @s1ardusk @seongghwaa (thank you so much for your sweet support/friendship! <3)

#jung wooyoung #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez wooyoung #wooyoung imagines #wooyoung scenarios #wooyoung fluff #kpop #ateez x reader

56 notes · View notes

marlmckitten · 4 years

Text

Mr & Mrs Kitty (An Introduction)

A new Blackinnon series by MarlMcKitten and PadsMcfoot

As so many of you know I have trouble letting go of past plots. And I spent three years working on a beautiful Blackinnon one with a friend. Unfortunately that story has come to a close but to keep it alive I want to share it with all of you. But since I also have commitment issues with writing an entire story at once. This is going to be written differently. It is going to be a number of short or long snippets of their lives in no particular order. This first ‘chapter’ is going to be a short, point form introduction to the version of Blackinnon that I will be sharing with you and all the important side characters that come with it. (Mainly bc my new Blackinnon is sooo different and all my plots are gonna shift a little now.) Thank you!

Marlene McKinnon:

your 70′s bombshell

loud, outspoken, unpredictable, wild

she fell in love with Sirius the day he arrived at Hogwarts on a motorcycle, grown out hair, new tattoos and a brand new family (The Potters)

she didn’t admit it for a while though

eventually they fell in love

she didn’t die with her family

but she was devastated

and pregnant

Bellatrix used occlemency to make her believe that it was Sirius who was killing her family

that was what made Sirius go to Azkaban

Marlene ran away, she made her way because she had to, she was pregnant and that was now the last living member of her family and the McKinnon line

she worked in shops, she kept a low profile and she did not tell anyone who she was

she gave birth to a beautiful young boy and named him Lynx McKinnon

the boy looked so much like his father

she would cry watching over him, her mind so conflicted on how Sirius would do that for her when her heart knew he wouldn’t

it was years before she saw Sirius again, but one day she just had to talk to him so she went to Azkaban to visit him

he believed she was dead and she asked him how the hell he could do that to her and her family in her emotional rant she let it slip that she had his son

this prompted Sirius to break out of Azkaban, finding out that he had a child and that Marlene was raising him all alone

Eventually they met up again, and Marlene ended up believing him. She always knew in her heart it couldn’t be true.

This Marlene was so much more grown up, (being a single mother wil ldo that)

They went into hiding again, now at Grimmauld Place. Lynx was terrified of his dad. It broke Marlene’s heart and she did not know what to do.

Years later, the war ended, her family was back together. Sirius never died and she wanted to add to her family.

They had two more children. Halo and Aurora Black.

All Marlene ever wants is for her whole family to get along.

Sirius Black:

such a rebel

but he has a weakness

blondes named Marlene McKinnon

he’s infatuated

you think James is bad? You should see Sirius around Marlene.

he never thought he deserved a happy ending but he got it with her.

Well- for a while. Before she died and he was framed for the murder of her and her entire family.

What was the point of living after that?

He didn’t see one.

Years passed. Nothing mattered and then one day ... “Hey split ends.”

He has a son.

He would not be the same shit parent that his were to him. He has to get out.

And he does and he finds them. It doesn’t take much convincing. His Marlene always trusted him.

But Grimmauld Place and all those childhood nightmares are back. He cannot be a father or anything to Marlene.

So instead he drinks.

A lot.

Too much.

He feels Marlene getting distance. He can tell Lynx hates him but he can’t stop himself. And he hates himself for it.

He dies. Through the veil .

But miraculously he finds his way out. Just in time to save his Marlene and his son during the war.

Him and Marlene lead all the Slytherin children out of the castle, away safely. (Even Pansy Parkinson.)

Marlene never forgives McGonagall for locking her son in the dungeouns during a war, but Sirius knows she was doing her best.

Him and Lynx never get a great relationship.

They’re always rocky. But he gets another chance with Halo.

This pushes Lynx away even more but Sirius can’t help it.

He tries to make peace with it and then Aurora comes.

And oh Merlin how he loves Aurora.

They have a very special bond.

Sirius is a great father to Halo and to Aurora and he tries to be for Lynx too.

It takes so much time.

But he has his wife, his kids and Sirius gets the life he never knew he deserved.

Lynx McKinnon

Sirius lookalike

he hates it

he hates his father

but his mom is everything to him

She works a lot when he is a kid, so he tries to help her out.

One day he pleads her to go to the fair with him. It’s the last day, all the other kids have gone and she promised. He is only 7 at the time.

He meets a lonely little girl named Juliet.

They become instant best friends and for the rest of his life no one will ever matter to him quite like his Ma and Juliet do.

Then he is sent to Grimmauld Place, away from Juliet. And he is so scared.

His father terrifies him. The house terrifies him. He sleeps with his mom most night.

Hogwarts comes and he goes there, an escape. And there he finds Juliet also. She’s a muggle born witch and the world is restored!

He protects her when he is sorted into Slytherin and she is a Hufflepuff.

But he misses his mom dearly.

He befriends an ambitious and beautiful young girl named Valencia Mae.

They also become close. The three of them are happy with just each other.

One day he realizes that he is in love with Valencia and he asks her out.

She says yes.

She comes from a very rich family so he tries his hardest to impress her.

Lucky for him, she has some daddy issues.

He learns that he is a very talented artist.

When he decides to persue his dreams as an artist Valencia dumps him.

He is left devastated.

Lynx drops out of school, he leaves everything behind. He leaves his home.

He’s a little dramatic. (Don’t tell him that he gets that from his father.

But years, and years later, he is reunited with Valencia.

They’ll get a chance at their own happy ending.

Halo Black

such a mama’s boy

but so protective over his baby sister

loves his dad too

really a family guy

from a young age he wants to have his own family one day

he’s a little spoiled but doesn’t know it

doesn’t like Lynx much, doesn’t get why his brother doesn’t love his dad like he does

Lynx tries to tell him that growing up with a single mom then going through a war is much harder than growing up in a mansion with two happy parents and the Black family fortune

Halo doesn’t see it.

He has a lot of back problems.

He’s awkward and so clumsy it could put Tonks to shame

he looooves his (very much alive) Uncle Remus

He wears cardigans and he is a hopeless romantic, after a girl in his year who he idolizes in his head

they are doomed to always be in love but not have anything ever go their way

truly tragic but the love story Halo always wanted

Aurora Black

if Halo is too much of a mama’s boy he’s got nothing on how much of a daddys girl Aurora is

she can’t function without her father

and her brother

oh boy is she spoiled

and optimistic

naive

honestly just not that smart

but has the purest heart and the best intentions

she is always trying to get along with Lynx even though she doesn’t even meet him until she’s about 6 years old

she loves Lynx’s art

she messages him all the time, and never gets a response

she is bullied a lot for being air headed.

And it gets bad.

Some girls play a nasty trick on her.

She is turned into a werewolf.

It breaks Sirius’ heart the most.

She would have been killed if Halo hadn’t have saved her life.

She then keeps to herself more, believing that she is ugly and a monster.

Remus helps and Tonks helps but she thinks she will forever be alone.

After all Remus was until his late 30′s.

But she still manages to keep a smile on her face.

She really loves animas.

Her life ambition is to open a bakery with her father.

She never wants to leave her family

She can even melt Lynx’s heart when she really wants to

but man is she s t u b b o r n

and as sweet as she is she can piss anyone off with her stubbornness to always get her way and not see anyone else’s

Juliet Buchannan:

Lynx’s best friend

not the brightest, but very honest

she keeps Lynx from going too hard, he keeps her grounded

but they both really like getting high together

and talking about aliens

Lynx around Juliet is very different than regular Lynx

she happens to love Sirius, calls him Mr McKinnon and he loves it

Calls Lynx Kitty.

Calls Marlene Mrs Kitty.

She goes wherever the wind takes her

Carefree.

Despite her very lonely childhood.

Her father was abusive and neglectful.

She spent more of her time with Lynx and Marlene

They are her family.

Works in Disneyland when she is older as a face character.

She literally just wants to see everyone happy all the time.

But she makes a lot of bad decisions and always has the wildest travel stories

Valencia Mae:

the love of Lynx’s life

BDE

she gets what she wants

her family exploits muggles to make their fortune

hardcore business woman

loves fashion

never goes anywhere without her Louboutins

she really isn’t that into the wizarding world and hates Hogwarts

but still gets good grades

ambitious AF

dont mess with her

seriously don’t

she will also stand up for Juliet once she is forced to take her in

dating Lynx means dating Juliet as well

really not the jealous type though so she doesn’t care

just a bad bitch in fancy heels

wine

Lyra

the girl Halo is way too in love with

she is not easy to love

she is so troubles Halo just wants to fix her

they are on again, off again faster than anyone can keep track

she has a small thing for Lynx and also one for Sirius

she has serious abandonment issues

the bottom line is she just wants to be loved and accepted but doesn’t know how to be

she does not have a strong sense of self-identity

Sirius really takes a liking to her, and is kind to her, she misjudges that and develops her tiny crush

but it is always Halo she loves

she just doesn’t know how to

she’s there to create the drama without meaning to

Lynx hates her, but she’s good at art so he helps her with that

Valencia and her would kill each other if given the chance

Aurora adores Lyra

Marlene hates seeing a girl break her baby’s heart

Just so lonely.

#blackinnon #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #au #everybody lives #let's see how this goes #fanfiction #in progress

28 notes · View notes

x0401x · 4 years

Text

Asahi Shinbun Interview with Akane Kazuki

“Original animes are now showing their true value.” - On the feelings that director Akane Kazuki has put into his latest work, “Hoshiai no Sora”.

One challenging TV animation began airing in October 2019. The title of the series is “Hoshiai no Sora”.

In the past, many TV animes were original works, but as of late, animes often have a source material. It can be said that the ratio of “anime adaptations” of source materials is between over 60% and over 80%. “Hoshiai no Sora” is an original anime, which is rare nowadays.

Akane Kazuki-san, the director, original creator and screenwriter, had made three original animes until now. Yet all of them were sci-fi and fantasy, their stories unfolding through “unrealistic” themes. However, unlike Director Akane’s works up to this point, “Hoshiai no Sora” is a “realistic” story that has the youth of middle school boys as its theme.

Why did he decide to make one more original anime, with a theme that he had never written about before? The motive was hidden in the roots of Director Akane’s entry in the anime industry.

Raw || Index

Coming in contact with the possibility of an original anime through “Gundam”

One of the reasons why Director Akane decides to aim for the anime industry was that he “felt the potential of anime”. At the time, many directors, such as Miyazaki Hayao and Tomino Yoshiyuki, were creating original works that did not have a source material and enlivening the anime industry. Director Akane was greatly influenced by them.

“When I was a child, after watching Steven Spielberg’s ‘Encounter with the Unknown’ and George Lucas’s ‘Star Wars’, I began looking up to international live action movies. There were many works amongst the live action movies from overseas that were exciting, fun and insane to watch, and I could feel an essence of entertainment from them. On the other hand, several of the Japanese live action movies were focused on realistic artistry and not very entertaining.”

“Then, I watched the works of Miyazaki-san and Tomino-san and they had me going, ‘This is entertainment! Japan can also make entertainment-type works!��. At the same time, I felt that we could be entering an anime era from that point onward.”

After graduating from university, Director Akane joined Sunrise. Under Director Tomino Yoshiyuki, father of the “Kidou Senshi Gundam” series and one of the people who motivated Director Akane to aim for the anime industry, he was in charge of the production progress of original robot anime works.

Starting with the Gundam series, Director Tomino created countless original animes. Director Akane was charmed by the way that Director Tomino made his series.

“In Tomino-san’s settings, I already required to insert my own ideas. With Tomino-san’s plots as base, the writers would make the scenarios, and the responsibility for their content fell upon the storyboard writers, but if we made storyboards that were exactly like the screenplay, Tomino-san would get angry. ‘Put more ideas into it,’ he would say. ‘I’m already giving so many ideas, so why won’t you guys give some too?!’ (laughs). For original animes, in order to make the series interesting, we had the duty of sprinkling and hammering our ideas into it while having constant questions about it. Witnessing this at twenty years of age, I came in contact with the enjoyment of making original animes.”

From this experience, Director Akane started to think that making original animes was something natural for animation directors.

The decline of original animes | The sense of two impeding crises that he had been observing

Having left Sunrise and turned into a freelancer, Director Akane birthed original animes one after another. He worked as the director, original creator and series composer of “Geneshaft” (2001), “Heat Guy J” (2002) and “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kiki e” (2005). However, along with the passage of time, the difficulties of creating an original anime increased. This was because the fact that the public became able to purchase anime films (VHS and DVD) gave rise to a climate of concern for the film sales in the industry as a whole.

“Original animes take a great deal of workload and costs for the production and advertisement. Still, you have to release them in order to know if they will be a success. On one hand, animes that have a popular source material such as mangas, light novels and games have their stories and characters ready, and you know they will sell to a certain extent even if there is not much propaganda for them.”

And so, the number of projects for original animes saw a steady decrease. Currently, most of the animes being broadcasted are series that have source materials. In these circumstances, Director Akane claims that he can sense two impeding crisis.

“The first is: I feel that the viewers have begun to grow tired of anime. When they have a source material, people can get excited over the developments even without watching it in earnest. I wonder if they are becoming unable to watch anime seriously. If I had to say it, anime is turning into a sashimi accompaniment nowadays. Social medias are the sashimi and anime is the grated radish. People watch anime in order to talk about it in social medias. Anime is becoming a tool for communication. For us, the creators, this is destructive.

The second is the decline of the anime industry. That is because the people who have the know-how for making original animes are disappearing. Many of today’s young animators enter this industry after watching animes that have source materials. The number of people who aimed for this industry out of wanting to create original animes has truly decreased. It is exactly because things are this way now that we need original animes.”

Breaking the patterns of traditional animation and opening up a new path

youtube

“Hoshiai no Sora” is the original anime that Director Akane took roughly fourteen years to make after “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kimi e”. With the sense of impeding crisis as his trigger, the thought that “we must advance with new ramifications and possibilities of animation” sprouted within Director Akane himself.

“When I thought about what young people use their money for these days, I concluded that they use it for ‘experiences’. That they might be paying to experience things they would not be able taste anywhere else, such as live concerts and events. When I pondered what could be the equivalent to a live concert in terms of anime, I figured that original animes feel like lives. Original animes, I thought, can create experiences that you can only have a taste of through them, since nobody has seen them before, so there is excitement when they are watched for the first time upon being broadcasted, and all sorts of emotions stir up because you cannot predict the future developments.”

In order to have the viewers feel that “experience”, what he was particularly conscious of was the “story”. Until now, he had been the creator, director and series composer of his original animes, but this time, he was the creator, director and screenwriter. Moreover, the setting this time was not a fanciful world of sci-fi or fantasy, but instead is a “realistic” story that depicts the youth of students. As “unrealistic” stories about the isekai theme have been increasing in number in the past years, Director Akane has put into it his intentions of being able to further amplify the feeling of a live concert through a realistic story.

“In ‘Hoshiai no Sora’, the story is portrayed through breaking the barriers of conventional anime. Several of the animes being aired nowadays have the role of ‘a place to escape to’. Many series depict impossible things in hilarious and crazy ways, forgetting about common life. That is by no means bad, but I believe anime should also have other functions. I aimed for a story that would not be simply funny, comfortable to watch or emotional, but that would throw themes at the viewers and make them ponder on ‘What do you think of this phenomenon?’ with me. I want to reflect the conflicts and troubles shouldered by the people who are living in the present, as well as the current era, through anime. Additionally, I want to show a new path not just for the audience but also for the people currently involved with anime production, that ‘this way of making anime also exists’.”

“Hoshiai no Sora” portrays children of the current times

And so, on October 2019, “Hoshiai no Sora” aired at last. Starting with its project, this work took a period of about three years to be made. In regards to its production, Director Akane states that he interviewed young people who are from the same generation and environment as the featured characters.

“This time, when I received the story, I reminisced to my childhood first-thing. The child characters who appear in anime look like they are having fun and are portrayed as though they symbolize nostalgia, but is it really like that in real life? When I looked back into my childhood, there was a lot of constraint, irritation towards myself and others, those kinds of things. So above all, I wanted to depict this properly. But this time, even though I could write as much as I felt like about my own childhood frustrations, I wanted to write about the frustrations of present-time children. The environment that children are put in nowadays is becoming much more complicated than in the era I was raised. I wanted to write about the children who live in it through anime.”

“That is why I did interviews first of all. In those interviews, I found that, along with the evolution of the times, children felt things that adults are incapable of feeling. Nevertheless, when adults do not understand this, I noticed that they often disavow young kids without listening to them. I thought that, if I also portrayed this part of it, the younglings might watch the anime seriously as if it were them.”

What livens up this crafted story is the “art style”, which gives off a soft impression. It is said that the adoption of anime-like cutesy illustrations in contrast with the realistic story was the producer’s suggestion. Since people cannot tell what kind of story an original anime with no source material will be until they watch it, he made use of the idea that they would be drawn into the anime by its art and gradually get pulled into the story. Introducing people to a realistic story through an unrealistic element - one could take this as a form of expression that can be achieved exactly because it is an anime.

In 2005’s “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kimi e”, “new” techniques were adopted, such as the CGI outlines and the fact that the animation style changed on every episode, which was rare for the animes of the time. Just like that, Director Akane always shows us viewers a new “something”. This deepened the expectations that “Hoshiai no Sora” would also surely show us something novel.

“When watching the series, one might at first have the impression that it is about the activities of a middle school boys’ soft tennis club, a sports thing. However, it is a drama that depicts not just this, but also the frustrations and troubles that middle schoolers shoulder these days, including the adults who cause them. It reflects the nature of the current times and presents questions, as we have tried all kinds of devices to make people think, regardless of whether they are young children or adults. It is different from the patterns of anime that people have being seeing until now, so there might be viewers who were at loss. I think they could not have imagined how the story would turn out (laughs). With this included, I want everyone to have fun watching it.”

#hoshiai no sora #hns #stars align #fyeahsportsanime #sportsanimedaily #hoshisora #katsuragi maki #shinjou touma #akane kazuki #anime #interview #my translation

31 notes · View notes

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

Text

Psycho Analysis: The Moonchild

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

I feel like this one was inevitable. As soon as I decided to bust open the doors on literary mediums like books and comics, this guy was always going to loom over me. Well, let’s just bite the bullet and talk about him.

In the final portion of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Centuries, we are introduced to Oliver Haddo’s ultimate creation… a creation he is incredibly disappointed in. You see, the Antichrist or Moonchild is a whiny, miserable young adult strung out on prescription drugs because he went mad after realizing what he was being manipulated into. He is the subject of derision by all who know him, and is treated like a punching bag by most of the narrative, up to and including God literally telling him he’s a bitch. Our villain here is just a miserable, whiny, kind of misogynistic brat who doesn’t even want to be a villain, and in general is just unpleasant and ineffective save for a school massacre he pulls off.

Oh yeah, and his real name is Harry Potter. Kind of an important detail, that.

Motivation/Goals: So as the antichrist, you’d think Mr. Potter might, you know, maybe want to bring about the end of days and all that. But no! He actually pops pills and isolates himself in Grimmauld Place so that he doesn’t do that! He doesn’t want to be the Antichrist and, really, who would? Most of his screentime is thus spent whining, until he ultimately decides to embrace being the Antichrist because he feels he has no other choice. We’ll get into all of that in a bit, but honestly, his motivation is extremely weak despite the incredibly graphic setup we’re given to his downward spiral: when he first discovered he was being manipulated by Satanists, he went on a magical school shooting, shown to us in a first-person perspective to emulate the games that were often blamed for real school shootings. We get to see Harry slaughter Ron, Hermione, Snape, Dumbledore, and so on, we get to see what he did to Hogsmeade and the Hogwarts Express, and absolutely none of it is pleasant.

With setup like that you’d expect maybe a little more intrigue and indecision, maybe some sort of conflict between fate and choice or something beyond Harry sitting around half-naked, high off of antidepressants, being a whiny little bitch, but you might be giving the dude who wrote a porno where the kids from Peter Pan engage in underage incest a bit too much credit.

Final Fate: So Harry has gone absolutely bonkers and it seems that nothing can possibly stop him; our heroes seem to be written into a corner. So what does Moore do? He has God - who in this universe is Mary Poppins - descend from the heavens and have her say how she protects the imaginations of children and how she just straight up hates Harry. Never mind that Harry is quite literally an abused child who was twisted by the cruel machinations of a body surfing wizard, apparently he’s a child not worth protecting or caring about and is unworthy of sympathy. Anyway, Mary Poppins just turns him into a chalk drawing and that’s the end of that.

Great writing, Alan Moore, critically acclaimed creator of Watchmen!

Best Scene: Saying Harry here had a ‘best scene’ is seriously pushing it, because literally every moment he’s on the page the comic just beats you over the head with Moore’s biases. I wish I could put the school shooting sequence, because the idea behind it is legitimately intriguing, but the whole sequence is just interwoven with Moore whacking off his hateboner for the series. But on the subject of boners… well, I think there’s only one panel that can truly and adequately sum up this entire character and how much of a miserable failure he is. Those who have followed me for a long time knew this was coming, but for the rest of you, behold - Harry Potter Dick Lightning:

Final Thoughts & Score: Quite frankly, this is the worst thing Alan Moore has ever done.

I’m not even mad as a fan of Harry Potter; Moore was honestly ahead of his time in hating the franchise to this level. The issue I have is that he doesn’t really deconstruct or criticize in any meaningful way, he just is doing edgy “take that” stuff that you’d expect from a chump like Garth Ennis. Like, the concept here is incredibly solid and intriguing - this version of Harry has been groomed from birth by Satanists to become the Antichrist, with all of his adventures fabricated and all of his relationships manufactured to keep him under the illusion he is a hero to mankind. Upon discovering the truth, he snaps, massacres everyone at his school for their role in his manipulations, and went into exile to stave off the apocalypse, although he ultimately and bitterly accepts his role because he feels he was never given a choice… and he wasn’t! He’s an incredibly depressing and miserable deconstruction of the concept of “The Chosen One,” and yet the whole thing falls apart on multiple levels.

The first is that the Harry Potter franchise already deconstructs the concept of “The Chosen One;” the text goes out of its way to point out that Voldemort’s own actions are what is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by targeting someone with the will and drive to fight back against him. Harry’s not so much chosen by fate so much as forcibly chosen by an evil manipulator… and that’s basically what we have here, but with less substance. Moore doesn’t really comment on anything, instead leading into the second big issue - Harry’s whole role is to be a strawman punching bag villain so that Moore can complain about modern fantasy franchises. Moore seems to view Harry as the epitome of the lazy regurgitation of the same story over and over that modern blockbuster culture so often falls into… except that Harry Potter was an original product developed by one person and had no artificial longevity slapped onto the franchise in the form of unneeded sequels or spinoffs to extend the lifespan of the franchise at the time Moore wrote this. Throw in the fact Moore just in general seems extremely contemptuous of any post-70s pop culture in Centuries and how Harry is ultimately taken down by crusty old characters from older literature really just leads to Moore coming across as a grumpy old man who hates anything new, not helped by his tired criticisms of millennials and their perceived lack of culture. Maybe Moore would have had more of a point if he created this storyline today, but he didn’t. Thus, he has no point and he just looks like a miserable old fart.

Sure, you can argue that maybe Moore’s basic parody of the character by exaggerating his tendencies to their logical extreme and attacking elements of the plot that had been criticized to death by fans to begin with has its place, and perhaps you could even say that the take in the comic is just an extreme take on how Harry acted in the fifth book, what with the lashing out at his friends and his general feeling of a lack of control, and there is some merit to that, or there would be if Moore’s own unrepentant bias didn’t undermine everything. Look, you can hate Harry Potter, but then why slap it into your work? It’s supremely cringey when people insert characters they hate into fanfiction and just completely derail their characters so that they can treat them like garbage with the narrative, and is that not what Moore did here? Is League not just public domain fanfiction? There’s a reason why I coined “Harry Potter Dick Lightning” as a phrase used to showcase a moment where a fanwork’s contempt for a character becomes so extreme that it not only jumps the shark, it rockets over it into the upper atmosphere. Any criticisms or messages Moore is trying to convey is tarnished by his blatant, seething contempt for the character, and that gets in the way of good writing and good storytelling. Having two characters express pity at having to murder an abused child who was warped by Satanists into being a tool of the apocalypse does not make up for how the narrative constantly mocks, belittles, and treats him like garbage to the point he really can’t function as an effective villain that can be taken seriously.

All of this adds up to what I’d argue is the absolute worst villain in all of fiction, bar none. There is just not a single redeeming quality about the Antichrist as a character. None. Nothing. I cannot think of another villain that so completely fails on every single level as this one does. He doesn’t work as an antagonist because most of the bad things he does are offscreen and he doesn’t come into conflict with the heroes until the very end, and most of his screentime features him doing nothing of note. He doesn’t work as a critique, because he is acting as a criticism for things his character never really represented in the first place. He only really functions as the sort of garbage you’d see in My Immortal, where the characters you know and love are turned into evil jerks because the writer hates them - but he even fails at being that, because at least My Immortal is funny about it!

I am going out on a limb and saying that there cannot possibly be a villain that so utterly fails at everything it sets out to be as hard as Harry does. I don’t even want to try and believe it. And so, without hesitation, I am giving Moore’s shallow Potter parody a 0/10. And I pray to Mary Poppins that this is the only one of those I ever dish out, because I really don’t want to imagine what could possibly be worse than Harry Potter Dick Lightning.

#Psycho Analysis #Harry Potter #the league of extraordinary gentlemen #Alan Moore #Centuries #The Antichrist #The Moonchild

27 notes · View notes

kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

Text

November 25: 1x25 Devil in the Dark

This episode truly is one of the greats. Like I remember that about it, and yet it is also always even better than expected.

I forgot how many nifty 50s looking painted background this show had, but they’re really beautiful.

The Enterprise is coming to save the day!

Wow that random miner was right, his phaser was useless.

See, the Horta tried to destroy just the machines first; she was being very nice and reasonable.

Something “big and shaggy” lol. Well, I guess that’s sort of accurate?

Jim looked so smug when Ed Appel said he was tough. “Oh yeah I am, I’m tough and I have a big ship.”

Spock, stop playing with that egg! I know it’s very aesthetically pleasing.

I feel like Spock doesn’t like Vanderberg very much.

Acid monster!

I’m glad they explain why exactly this pergium stuff is important because otherwise it just looks like “well capitalism must go on” as opposed to “this resource is used to keep whole planets functioning and without it people die.”

What a smart Horta. Taking the machine that the mean people use to survive.

Spock legitimately seems so amused by this whole thing. I love that particular Spock attitude: fascinated and slightly detached.

I love Scotty. “Yeah, I can make that old, obscure, outdated part myself.” What a nerd.

Spock’s still thinking about that pretty purple ball.

Silicon based life, you say. That’s an interesting concept. Kind of forgot that was part of the whole Horta thing.

Phaser one and Phaser two.... what a good retcon of why they have two different phaser designs.

Spock finally gets to be right about stuff!

“You seem fascinated by this rock.”

“Dr. McCoy’s been mean enough to me today, I don’t want to say anymore.” Spock’s bullying flashbacks lol.

I distinctly remember a meme using this exact shot of Kirk and the line of red shirts and the line “I want no more deaths” in the subtitles.

I love these cave sets.

So they discover that the Horta would make very good tunnels for them.

It’s an ASBESTOS monster??? That didn’t age well.

The last of a race of creatures... to kill it would be a crime against science.

This is like the salt vampire but with a happy ending.

Kirk doesn’t have a lot of sympathy for random creatures, at least not in the abstract. He always wants to protect his people first.

I love that Spock was JUST TOLD they were going to kill it and then he's like "Yeah but what if we captured it instead don't tell the Captain?"

This scene is hilarious because it starts with Kirk telling Spock “who’s the Captain here?” and then very quickly pivots to Jim being protective of Spock, and then this comical interlude with the math, and then Jim just being really turned on by Spock and the math. A little amused but also really in love.

Did Jim... memorize the chart? He just knows where all the tunnels go.

The Horta looks kind of like an ugly muppet.

Jim acknowledging Vulcan telepathy/mind melding as a very personal and intimate thing for Vulcans, and very difficult, because it involves taking down mental barriers.... very interesting. Very, very interesting.

She’s in agony because you took a big old chunk out of her YOU HEATHENS.

Love that Kirk calls McCoy to care for “a patient” without specifying who it is lol.

I love McCoy’s face when he watches Spock meld with the Horta. Like he doesn’t know what kind of nonsense this is but he’s also impressed. Like “Spock and the Horta are So Dramatic...but that’s pretty cool he can do that.”

Kirk is ready to kill for the Horta.

As am I.

She’s the mother of her race... intelligent, peaceful, mild.

Lol at “why are they down here?” / “This is where they live!” Why do you think they’re done here, fool?

Jim is very fond of Bones too. He can cure a rainy day!

Also not to get into it but like I was legit thinking about Sevin a bit during that scene.

What a happy ending. Everyone gets what they want. A good partnership. Lots of little Hortas.

Most unbelievable thing about this episode is how Kirk and Bones pretend that they don’t understand why the Horta liked Spock’s ears.

Fuck this was such a good ep. Lots of Kirk being a great captain, ordering people around, coming up with plans, being authoritative, gathering information, but also caring about people, and aliens, defending the innocent, brokering peace. I loved the way he just knelt down and talked to the Horta when he found her. Just showing he was open to communicating.

And an excellent Space Husbands ep too. Like generally I don’t think they actually got together until post-5 year mission / TMP but this is one of those episodes that you could read as like an established relationship. Spock calling Kirk “Sir” a lot just to really conspicuously switch to “Jim” later. Two distinct scenes where they are being protective of each other. Spock’s “Screw science, kill it now” attitude when Jim is in danger.

Got some good triumvirate action in there too.

Good science fiction.

A story that is well plotted and well paced, without loose ends, and an ending that is satisfying both from a story telling and a...happiness point of view.

Cannot believe I’ve watched 25 episodes of Star Trek over roughly 25 weeks.

Next up is Errand of Mercy. The first Klingon episode, I guess? A good one, and an excellent K/S one, even if the Klingons are, in general, meh.

#star trek tos #the year 2020 #2020: fandom thoughts #2020: star trek

7 notes · View notes

tysonrunningfox · 4 years

Text

Two Night Stand AU: Part 7

Ao3

Hiccup (3:52am): Astrid please, I can explain. Better than I did. I’m sorry.

Hiccup (3:52am): Astrid

Hiccup (3:53am): I keep saying your name, I don’t

Hiccup (3:53am): It’s my favorite name

Hiccup (3:53am): I know my name I just a bodily function but I love how you told me that and also none of this matters because I

Hiccup (3:54am): Please, if you get these, please give me your number. Please.

Hiccup (3:54am): I’m not begging. Not in the manipulative way. Or any way.

Hiccup (3:56am): Except I actually am begging.

Hiccup (3:56am): In the pathetic way.

Hiccup (3:58am): I thought about running after you. I didn’t because well, I was naked, or not, that’s not, I

Hiccup (3:59am): Please, just say anything. Please. I need to talk to you. I

Hiccup (4:02am): I’ve been saying ‘I’ a lot, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about what this means to you and I’m guessing it couldn’t be worse. This couldn’t have gone worse. I was everything you feared and more. Or less. I don’t

Hiccup (4:03am): I don’t want your comfort, not that you’d give it, I’m saying I’m the worst. I’m saying I’m awful and I’m sorry and this is so bad and it looks even worse than it is and I’d like to talk about exactly how bad it looks with you. Only you.

Hiccup (4:04am): Please, just message me back or give me your number or your address, I won’t stalk you, I’ll just send you a long-winded letter in cursive on cardstock.

Hiccup (4:05am): I’ll buy cardstock, I can’t write cursive though

This is pointless. And stupid. And the only thing Hiccup cares about even as he gets the notification that Heather’s plane has landed. She’ll be home soon. Fine. It’s fine.

He should make the bed. He should shower. He should do anything but obsessively message the perfect girl who isn’t responding.

Astrid.

Astrid who feels like home. Astrid who’s gone. Astrid. Astrid.

He keeps saying her name like it has a hidden definition. Like it’s a code that can unlock some way out of the mess he’s placed himself in.

It can’t, because there isn’t.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Because he made a mess. Not just a mess. A mud pit, in which he voluntarily brought dirt into his life, and then mixed it with water, and then invited someone who lacked the qualifications to turn mud into structure into his life, and somehow, instead of being a disaster, it just lit everything on fire.

The mud pit is a clay-pit. The moving sculpture of his life fired into place the second that he realized Astrid for what she truly was. Is.

It has to be possible.

Or, you know, there’s just no reason to any of this.

But the thing is that after pulling the short stick enough times, it ceases to be random chance and starts to feel like reserved karma. And Hiccup would like to cash in.

And yes, he understands that the idea of karma is not a genie in a bottle, it is not a magic wand, it cannot magically bring Astrid into his life, not that he’d want it to because—well, she’d hate it—but he thinks there should be some sort of cosmic station where one could exchange the sum of their theoretical suffering for what they want.

Like he lost a leg, that’s…big ass misery, ok? That was a gigantic ‘fuck you’ from the universe. He endured it with a mostly strong chin and stubborn sense of humor, but right now, he is willing to drop it forever just for a specific configuration of ten digits.

That’s a pretty good deal, right universe? Deal or No Deal?

Spin The Wheel of Fortune, Universe.

Do You Want to Be a Millionaire, Universe?

The Price is Right, as in this is the best he has to offer, so Universe, maybe make your move.

“Honey, I’m home!” Heather calls from the living room as she disarms the security alarm.

Check. The universe says, sliding the queen of the castle into view.

“In the bedroom,” he says back, staring down at Heather’s note, wondering how leading with it would go. Not well, not that there’s any way any of this will go well.

It’ll be faster maybe, if he leads with the Dear John letter he knew about for weeks that led him to make a ‘fuck you’ account on a dating website and God, he is so stupid.

“What the fuck is this?” Heather dives right into it, standing in the doorway with a folded piece of paper in her hand.

“Oh, sorry, I was supposed to be vacuuming with my pearls on,” he says flatly, “I forgot we were going to roleplay Leave it to Beaver, which takes on a very different meaning when you add the sexual element—”

“Hiccup,” Heather sighs his name like it’s an impossible to squelch bodily function, and he can’t keep Astrid off his mind for even a second, can he? “The note, by the front door, what is it?”

“I’ve…” He swallows hard, wiping his hand on his boxers before picking up his only shred of pitiable evidence, “I have the note right here.”

“Trade me,” she raises a non-plussed eyebrow, but her hand shakes as he puts her own letter into it and takes the scrap of paper from her.

Thanks for last night. I had fun. Great apartment!

xx Astrid

It’s smeared, written in makeup, casual in a way that Astrid isn’t. In a way he thought he was before he met her. His mouth goes dry and he tries to hide it, looking up at Heather and waiting for her to react to her own note.

She stares at it for a second before frowning and folding a new crease in it. When she holds it up at him like the last card in her Uno hand, it hits him for the first and final time that he really was batting out of his league with her. Not because she’s too good for him, even though his decision process over the last week or so corroborates that, but because she’s wrong for him at some fundamental level that he never believed in.

He knows he’s playing fast and loose with the concept of karma, but for the first time, fate makes some kind of sense.

“When did you find this?” She looks ashamed under her hard edges, the ones that don’t blunt and crumble even when they’re alone. The ones he used to think were strong when maybe they’re actually cruel, but he’s not dumb enough to blame her for making him that way.

Maybe they bring it out in each other. Brought.

“When did you write it?”

“Does that matter?” She laughs and Hiccup shrugs, willing himself honest even though it’s hard.

“Probably not.”

“Because of Alison, or whoever wrote the slutty little note you left me to find?”

‘Yes’ is the honest answer, but not the right one.

“Because you’re right. It’s not working.” He sighs, “it hasn’t been for a while, we’ve been…growing apart—”

“You haven’t been growing at all,” she retorts, “and your snarky, cryptic thing isn’t as charming as it used to be when I’m around it all the time—”

“That’s fair,” he taps his temple, “I live here, it’s not great.”

“You waited until I was out of town and cheated on me instead of just telling me directly that you’d found my note.”

“Yeah,” he nods, “and you didn’t give me the note, I think it’s fair to say that communication has been breaking down for a while. And communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, so suffice to say when that breaks down, the relationship goes with it.”

She shakes her head at him, slowly, a little shocked. He doesn’t remember the last time he actually surprised her, the last time she authentically laughed at his antics instead of spurring him on with a half-interested glint in her eyes. She doesn’t quip back though. That hasn’t happened in a very long time.

“What happened to you?” She asks after a too long minute and he shrugs.

“I…realized it was time to be honest. To stop doing this just because we feel like we’re supposed to, because we’ve put so much time into it.” He feels it now, everything that drew him to her in the first place. All the hours and days and weeks they spent together, making friction like it was a resource. “The fact is, I don’t think we’re right for each other. I think we’re just…or at least I was scared that there’d never be anything better.”

“So, you’re breaking up with me because you’re infused with optimism that we’re both going to find something better.” She shakes her head, looking lighter and bored and not hurt enough for what he did. “You really believe that?”

“Not believing it wasn’t working.”

“You’re an idiot,” she points at Astrid’s note, which might as well be his prized possession now, because he’s going to have to move and it’ll fit in his wallet.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, I’m furious with you but…I get it. I wrote the note, I wish you hadn’t found it while snooping, I should have just given it to you. I would have if I thought you were capable of being this mature about this—”

“No, not about—we’re broken up, I think we both understand it, but umm…did you ever fake it?” What starts as half a joke ends in some bitter, curious, cringing place that he never wants to visit again, but given that this is probably his last chance to get the facts, he goes for it. “When we were together?”

He makes a hand gesture that he wishes he hadn’t. Heather shakes her head and he thinks she’s feeling the bad fit too. He thinks, because he’s realizing that he never learned how to read her face, not really. And not because she didn’t let him, and not because he didn’t try, but it’s a language with a different taproot, something he could struggle with for years and never be fluent.

“A year together. A fucking year and—all this,” she gestures at the apartment that he didn’t even really like, but agreed to because going with the flow was the way to make their bickering day touring apartments end, “gone, and you want to know if I faked it?”

“You shouldn’t do that,” he lectures, internally cringing but feeling lighter. Vindicated, maybe. Fully through the veil of embarrassment and into someplace free. “It’s no good for you, it didn’t help me.”

“Right, you do so well with criticism.”

“Maybe I do,” he shrugs, “I think we both know there are a lot of things we never learned about each other.”

“You’re an asshole.”

And that makes him think of Astrid, and how he’s never felt closer to anyone, and how he wants this to be over with and then, how Dagur is probably going to beat him up. He probably should get in touch with his long lost cousin, that’s probably his only chance against Dagur’s impending wrath.

“I can move out.”

“Ok.” She stands up and looks at him with dwindling recognition, the polaroid of the present crystallizing in her memory and affirming him eternally as ‘that dickhead’. It’s…it sucks. He sucks. “Let me know when you’re out, I’ll go stay with Dagur.”

“Shouldn’t take that long,” he regrets how mean it sounds until it seems like she doesn’t care, cut off from him in a way that isn’t new. He should have noticed. They should have talked. They didn’t, he was an asshole, and now the idea of Astrid is a North star brighter than the blizzard and definitely brighter than the vengeance his ego would like to imagine in Heather’s expression.

Except it’s not there. And he has no ego, not right now, not when he’s so eager to exit this conversation and this chapter in his life.

She is too. She wrote the note.

He should have just told her he found it.

He’s so glad he didn’t, and he’ll hate himself for it later, when the leak in his heart is patched.

“Alright.” She stands up and he half thinks she’s going to shake his hand, but she doesn’t, “well, bye, Hiccup.”

Her voice might catch. His throat might hurt.

As soon as she leaves, he opens the dating site again and tries to message Astrid.

Hiccup (5:10am): I broke up with her

CustomerHelpBot (5:10am): The account you are attempting to contact has been inactivated

Hiccup (5:11am): good job changing your name, very convincing

CustomerHelpBot (5:11am): The account you are attempting to contact has been inactivated, for further information, please contact customer service at 303-555-7893

Hiccup (5:11am): that’s a really weird way to give me your number.

CustomerHelpBot (5:11am): The account you are attempting to contact has been inactivated, for further information, please contact customer service at 303-555-7893

Hiccup (5:12am): I’ll call the number

He gives the supposed threat a minute to sink in before doing just that, and the robotic voice that picks up honestly shocks him.

“You have reached the customer service hotline for America’s Favorite Dating Site, what can I do to help you?”

It’s not Astrid.

Not remotely.

For one, the voice is entirely humorless, entirely dead. Bored in a way she’s not capable of, he’s seen it as she prowled around this apartment he hates, looking for something to do. Also, it’s a guy.

“Hi, I—Hi, you’re not—I’m actually looking to get in touch with someone I met on your site—”

“What is your name, sir?”

“Hiccup Haddock, my username is—”

“PrincessOutpost?”

“Thanks for not making me say it out loud.” He was drunk when he thought of that. He was drunk when he made this stupid plan. He was sober when Astrid showed up, eyes bright and shoulders strong, breathing hard as she introduced herself and shook his hand.

So awkward. So pretty.

And no, that first time wasn’t great. It was…necessary, like spring cleaning, but after they talked…after they got to know each other…

“I’m afraid we can’t give information about any of our cancelled accounts to anyone but the police.”

“She cancelled?”

“The last profile that you interacted with is inactive, as of even earlier this morning.”

“That—come on, man, it—”

“I’m sure it was magical, but we are legally obligated not to give our customers information out.”

“I really just need a phone number or an address or…or a last name.”

“I get that sometimes you don’t get a chance to talk much—”

“Rude,” Hiccup snaps.

“But we are legally obligated to not give customers’ information to anyone but the police.”

“The police?” He pauses, picking Astrid’s eyeliner note up off of the bed and staring at it, resisting the stupid, fond, useless urge to swipe his thumb across her name.

“Yes, they’re men in blue who enforce the laws.”

“So, if I know she’d broken the law, you’re saying I could get that personal information.”

“Sir, our service doesn’t exist to help stalkers—”

“What about people who break and enter?”

#two night stand au #hiccstrid au #modern au #httyd fic #one more chapter methinks #i fought off melatonin to finish this because it kept haunting me

37 notes · View notes

steedimmigration · 3 years

Text

HOW TO GET A JOB IN CANADA WITHOUT CANADIAN EXPERIENCE

Reach an Immigration consultant Kitchener for queries regarding work permit Kitchener

You’ve finally got your PR visa after having successfully uploaded your candidate profile at Express Entry and after having been selected based on your experience, education, language ability and other factors, and now you’ve recently landed in Canada to start your new life. You have even managed to rent an apartment in your new city and now there’s only one question on your mind.

How do I get a job?

The answer – or more accurately, the many answers – to that question actually start before you even land at your Port of Entry in Canada. So, let’s start there and find out how you should go about getting your first job as a new Express Entry arrival.

BEFORE YOU ARRIVE – PREPARING FOR CANADA’S JOB MARKET

Before you even get on your flight to Canada, you must begin to do an extensive search of Canada’s job market and see how you can match your skills to opportunities in the Canadian labour market. This means several things:

JOB BANK

Job Bank is a government of Canada website that matches people looking for jobs with available occupations across Canada. You should open an account at Job Bank and start browsing the site for jobs that match your skills. It’s a basic first step in getting to know the Canadian job market. Use the Resume Builder tool as well as Job Match where you can post your Resume/CV and obtain job offers from employers. (Although you might want to wait until you have your PR visa and are about to come to Canada before you start actively looking for work.)

Reach an Immigration consultant Kitchener for queries regarding work permit Kitchener

INDEED CANADA:

This website is the Canadian version of a world-wide jobs board based in Austin Texas and founded in 2004. It’s one that’s highly rated and gives you detailed job offers across Canada. You can fine-tune your search to jobs in specific locations as well. Employers can post jobs for free or use the paid option to boost their company’s profile at the site. Any search for jobs should include this site as you will gain insight into what kinds of jobs related to your skills are available in cities and towns across the country.

WORKOPOLIS:

This site is a home-grown Canadian job bank founded by The Globe & Mail in 1999. Indeed offers companies the ability to fine-tune their job offers by estimating how many applicants they want to sort through to find their ideal candidate. That means tight job descriptions in many cases. It may not provide your first job.

Workopolis is a great site to see what Canadian employers are looking for a little higher up the value chain from that entry-level employment you may be looking for. You can browse by job function or by region of Canada.

Reach an Immigration consultant Kitchener for queries regarding work permit Kitchener

ELUTA:

The website has two search fields where you type in job title or functions, and type in a city, province or postal code in Canada. Then you hit the green Search Jobs button .

GOOGLE FOR JOBS:

Google is now using specialized algorithms that employ AI and Machine Learning to integrate this component of their search engines with job boards and have the results of a job search pop up on your screen directly through searching in Google. Rather than using a site like Indeed or Eluta.

Another factor is that employers have to modify the HTML code on their websites in order to have their job postings appear through Google for Jobs. It involves adding what’s called job-listing structured data to the jobs page at your company website. Any data scientists/analysts out there looking to come to Canada?

GLASSDOOR:

If you go ahead and type “google for jobs” in google.ca you’ll quickly notice that a lot of job sites are at the top of your search results. And they all promise the viewer they have the best jobs on … Google. Search is search and google is the main search platform by far, so clearly there is a symbiotic relationship here. In the case of Glassdoor, it’s not only a jobs board website but is also an employer review site. That means feedback about the people who are hiring, done by employees, which is a nice feature for potential job seekers to get a feel for the company they might be working for.

MONSTER:

This truly is a beast of a website with an enormous quantity of resumes posted online but one that is fairly expensive for employers to post a job offer on. That means that you might not get as many smaller businesses posting on Monster as on a site like Indeed, for example. That means you’re more likely to find jobs posted by larger companies for key positions. That’s a good fit if you have an impressive resume and are looking to get hired in more managerial or upper level professional jobs where more experience and education is required. As well jobs are posted by city, so that can be helpful depending where you plan to settle in Canada.

The next thing you can do before even arriving in Canada, is to work on creating a resume that fits the expectations of employers in Canada. You likely need to redesign the look and the content of your resume to make it more “Canadian”.

Your resume needs to be short and to-the-point with headings and bullet points.

It should always be customized for the particular job you are applying for. It may be a case of changing the focus to highlight the skills that you feel will best suit the job you are applying for.

Highlight your education, professional experience, and other qualifications.

You often have to use keywords depending on the job you are applying for. Overloading a resume with keywords will strike the HR person reviewing it as lacking credibility, but a few well-chosen ones can make a difference to someone who is often quickly skimming through a large number of resumes.

Decide if it should be a Chronological Resume (listing your experiences in the order in which they occurred) or Functional Resume (listing your experiences according to function - what skills were used in previous jobs and what specific experiences you gained). If you have gaps in your work experience or are a new graduate with little experience the functional resume may be the better choice.

You don’t have to include information on:

Age

Ethnicity

Nationality, culture etc.

Health (unless you require special arrangements)

Citizenship status.

Make sure when posting your resume online that it’s searchable. For example, on Monster.ca you have 3 levels of privacy:

Private: the resume cannot be found in a search of Monster’s database and your contact information is not visible.

Visible and Limited: the resume is searchable by anyone with access to the database, but contact information is not visible. Contact information is only visible by an employer when you apply for a job at their company.

Visible: Anyone with access to the database can see your resume and your contact information.

There may be cases where you don’t want your current employer to know that you’re applying for another job, but in general almost any new arrival in Canada will want to get their contact information out to as many potential employers as possible.

ONCE YOU ARRIVE – NETWORKING & THE HIDDEN JOB MARKET

Reach an Immigration consultant Kitchener for queries regarding work permit Kitchener

When you’ve arrived in Canada, the next step you should take is to unlock what is called the Hidden Job Market.

According to some estimates, over 60% of job offers in Canada are not done through public job offers but rather within business and social networks: corporate managers who know someone who knows someone who might be right for the job they need filled, for example. That means that to get the tip of your shoe in the door, you need to start developing networks as soon as you arrive in Canada. Or even beforehand if you already have family or friends in the country.

So, you first have to ask yourself: why are you doing this? Why are you networking? Aside from the obvious answer to get a job, the main focus of networking is to help make the task easier for the person who’s hiring or who may need someone at some point.

Be helpful. Always be thinking about ideas and suggestions to problems people in your field of work might be having. And that also means listening carefully when you manage to get people in the field to talk to you. Read industry websites, periodicals, blogs and try emailing the writer of the article/blog if you have any ideas or suggestions.

Talk to people. Let them know you’re looking for a job. Let them know exactly what job you’re looking for. Include everyone from families to friends to local business owners that you feel might have useful contacts. If you’re also studying at a Canadian post-secondary institution, let your classmates and even your professors know. You can even use a calling card where you list your contact information on one side of the card and the job you’re looking for on the other side.

You can even offer to write a free column in a magazine/periodical or blog that deals with your area of work interest.

Go to Social Media sites of companies or organizations in your field. Comment on influencer posts and start to work your way into the community through social media. Make sure your comments are well thought out and helpful and show you understand and follow trends in your field of work.

Link your social media comments to your own blog where you comment on your field of interest.

What you’re doing is building a profile – both online and offline – of yourself as a potential employee. Managers and HR people do often check social media to get a better idea of who they may be considering for a job. Combine your online resume, your social media posts, your blog, any emails or direct contacts with people in your industry and you now have a well-rounded profile that will help employers see you for who you are: the person they need to fill that job.

#Immigration consultant kitchener #immigration consultant

1 note · View note