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#the quiet kid
aduckinpain · 6 months
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I know.
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Tags: Landoscar, Twinklaren, Oscar going through it, especially with that Brazil GP 2023, Hurt/Comfort, Character Analysis, Lando and Oscar end up together, in depth look into the quiet child experience, I know it personally.
Word Count: 1.5k
This work is also on AO3 under user roianamustang (me).
It’s always running, sprinting. It keeps on falling, tripping. It stumbles, gets back up, looks around, it moves. It never stops moving.
For all of his 22 years on this Earth, Oscar’s mind has never been quiet. Not like he is.
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He’s heard the remarks, even agreed with some of them.
Since he was a child, he remembers his mother being continuously praised on what a quiet, calm kid she had. He remembers his father being teased for how his son was not rowdy or mischievous. He remembers his sisters’ friends describing him as mysterious and cool, unassuming.
Now with his life on full display at McLaren, he reads on how unemotional, unenthusiastic he seems. He reads and he stays quiet.
He observes, he reflects. Eyes unblinking and the air still around him. Like it always seems to be.
I know.
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From an outsider’s point of view, he can understand. He can see why people's opinions of him are what they are. Putting himself in people’s shoes has always come as second nature to Oscar. It was getting out of those shoes that seemed to be the problem.
Sympathizing, empathizing, understanding he can do. Observation has been his strongest skill and it has sharpened over the years.
Yet, it seems, other people can never do it for him. They can never get it right. It doesn’t seem like they’ll start getting it now or any time soon. Sometimes it feels like they won’t ever get it, even in the far future.
Do I know? 
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Little footsteps echoed in his mother’s shadow around the place. It’s the loudest he’s been. Oscar looks around, wide-eyed, intrigued, curious. Always taking things in. But they never seem to be able to get out.
I learn. 
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Sleep.
Sleep is a favorite activity of his. It had his mother concerned when he was but a young boy, come up to him about it. Ask him. Ponder. Assume.
Oscar doesn’t think he will ever get over his mothers face looking confused, conflicted when he told her.
His brain jumps, it flies. If it couldn’t catch something, it would find another thing. His brain ran itself thin, it crouched, it needed sleep.
‘That’s not normal.’ his mom had said.
Recommended taking a break. Recommended letting himself breathe. Recommended to stop.
‘It’s not healthy.’ She’d pressed.
I know. 
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When his hands touched the karting wheel, time didn’t stop. To be fair, it actually only seemed to go slower. He hadn’t done this before. Things he hasn't done or tried yet, aren't perfected. He shouldn’t expect results. Keep your expectations low, so they're either met or pleasantly surpassed.
That’s why it was unexpected, uncalculated. He pressed the pedal, he gripped the wheel, he didn't blink, he passed the first kid. Then the next one. Then the next, and the next and it just kept on going. He felt the wind, he saw the turns, he heard the noise.
He felt. He felt and it stopped. He felt and didn’t bolt from it. Didn’t run it dry, didn’t analyze. Didn’t think.
His heart beat loudly, resounding through his body. Echoing in his ears.
Yet.
It was quiet.
He won, and he kept on winning and he didn’t seem to be able to stop.
Satisfaction thrummed through his veins and entered his head. Lingering, altering.
I know now.
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After a while the inevitable happened. He grew, things became more important. They required thinking. They required analyzing, observing, seeing. It was a trained response, Oscar knew what to do. He moved on autopilot. He slept.
But he craved. Craved the silence. It seemed to slip away the higher he went.
He can make sacrifices, he understands.
I know.
Do I?
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Alpine was loud. Alpine was deafening and emotional. Alpine made Oscar feel, but not in the way he wanted to.
He felt but his mind raced faster. He felt but it didn’t feel exhilarating. He felt but he didn’t overtake, he didn’t take off.
He froze.
He felt and he couldn’t stop thinking.
The sacrifice would have been in vain. The silence lost, for nothing. What was the point of doing this, if at the very least his hard-earned success didn’t get him where he wanted? If his freshly departed sacrifice, felt like a freshly opened wound?
His F2 Championship was everything he wanted. But what about everything he wished?
I don’t know, not anymore. 
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Oscar figured out pretty soon that the root of his problem was his yearning. He yearned the quiet, he yearned the success. And for two years now, he longed for revenge. But he didn’t do things blaringly, not like Alpine.
He does them unexpectedly, or so it seems to others anyway.
For the first time in a long time. Oscar Piastri overtakes.
@OscarPiastri
I understand that, without my agreement, Alpine F1 have put out a press release late this afternoon that I am driving for them next year. This is wrong and I have not signed a contract with Alpine for 2023. I will not be driving for Alpine next year.
8:00 PM · Aug 2, 2022
44.2K Reposts 50.7K Quotes 386K Likes 4,282 Bookmarks
I know again.
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That being said, when your constant variable is overanalyzing, new environments don’t add well to the equation. New environments mean new people, new people mean new expectations.
New expectations mean a higher probability for error.
But he could do this. He worked for it, he fought for it. He sacrificed for it.
He itched for it.
I know. 
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When you let your mind wander, it creates new pathways, new possibilities. Wandering allows for running and running in a forest means getting lost.
His newest forest, seems to be going by the name of a Lando Norris.
I found out. 
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Lando was noise. Lando was the unachievable. More years of experience meant more years of achievements. Lando was his closest teammate and his hardest rival.
But, as days passed, comfort became Lando.
Security transformed into Lando.
Silence translated to Lando. Not in Lando himself, no, of course not. To him. To Oscar.
Lando spoke and Oscar listened.
Lando asked and Oscar answered.
Lando touched and Oscar leaned.
Lando moved and Oscar followed.
Lando stopped and Oscar stopped.
I always knew. 
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The year had started slow, but by God did it pick up the pace. It just needed some time to warm up those soft compound tyres. Just like Lando, who helped Oscar get more comfortable. With the car. With the team. With the new upgrades, the suddenly incessant meetings. With his ability to put in his input and have it be taken into consideration.
With Lando.
The better they got, the more media work they did. While in the past, Oscar may have dreaded it, he’s grown to like it.
The more media work they did, whether they noticed it or not, the closer they got. Bonded.
At the time Oscar hadn't noticed—something that doesn't just happen, that for the first time ever, he was the one being analyzed, looked into. Someone was getting in his shoes, and they seemed dead set on not leaving.
Without realizing it, Lando had become fresh air, first podiums, bright days, calm nights, quiet thoughts, content. Oscar felt content. His brain didn’t run, it walked, it discovered. It felt but it was ok.
I stumbled upon the discovery. 
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The heat was unbearable, yes, exhausting. But it didn’t matter, because he had done it. He has proved it. He met the expectations, in fact he can confidently say he has surpassed them.
He spilled the water on his head, felt it go through each individual strand of hair, down his back, onto his hands. He felt exhilarated.
Was it the water or the newly discovered heaviness of a gaze?
I know who it was.
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He spilled the champagne at Lando on that podium, let it flow down the ridges of his back, the smile on his face, the hands clutching the bottle, the curls shining under the night lights. Grinned at it, laughed with it. Enjoyed it.
Did he say champagne?
He meant his own eyes.
Trailing. Following.
I knew. 
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The first brush of lips was soft. It was a question, a request for permission.
Just like in his newly rediscovered passion for racing, winning, Oscar didn’t think. He felt. He acted. He nodded.
The first press of lips was gradual, tentative, exploring.
He sighed. He melted. He pulled.
Safety feels warm. Comfort feels free. Being understood feels like losing control, but you’re still holding the reins.
He’d always wanted a weighted blanket. Guess there was no need for that anymore when you have a lap full of Lando.
They laid down. With hands combing through his locks and lips brushing on his forehead, Oscar allowed himself to let go.
His eyes dropped. He felt warmth on the top of his head, around his body, encasing his heart. He felt and it was ok.
Nothing was sacrificed. It was planted, watered over the years. Waited for the seasons to change.
Until it bloomed, blossomed.
And this time Oscar slept and woke up feeling rested.
The view certainly helped.
I’ll know.
-End-
Notes:
I'll analyze all of the 'I know' and their versions:
1) I know, Oscar is well aware of how he seems to people and their opinions of him. He can't do much to change them, cause he can't do much to change himself. This is who he is. Besides they are wrong. He feels so much, it tends to get overwhelming.
2) Do I know?, Being highly empathetic with people allows you to see every aspect and reason for their actions or reactions, however most people don't do this. Their main focus is themselves, other people come second and so on. It feels like putting in the effort but never having any effort being put in you.
3) I learn, children are curious and their minds act like sponges. No matter how small they are they will understand and remember everything.
4) I know, Oscar is self-aware enough to know that thinking so much it physically makes you tired is not the usual. He can't just stop though, it's how he functions. This is directly taken from a personal experience with this same conversation.
5) I know now, he knew right then and there that racing would be his freedom, his life.
6) I know.
Do I?, Is he ready to make these sacrifices? Is he willing to put in the work? Is it worth it? Is racing what he wants for his future? These are all insinuated questions he asks himself.
7) I don't know, not anymore, Alpine was even more doubt and wait. Waiting made the doubt linger and never leave. The future seemed bleaker. The sacrifices worthless.
8) I know again, Oscar found a purpose, a reason to continue.
9) I know, there's no more time for waiting or hesitance. He figured out how these things work now. You push forward. There is no time for second guessing.
10) I found out, something new, unexpected. Lando himself.
11) I always knew, was it actually new and unexpected or was it exactly what he was waiting for?
12) I stumbled upon the discovery, Oscar's whole thing is the need for quiet, for his brain to just stop for a second. It used to be racing that gave him that feeling and while it is slowly returning, it seems to not be the only thing that has that affect on him. There seems to be something, or someone else too.
13) I know who it was, it was Lando's gaze spilling down his back. Mapping Oscar on that podium.
14) I knew, it was his own gaze, spilling down Lando's. Gazing.
15) I'll know, he doesn't have to think, to analyze. Let the future be unknown. If he wants to, he can make it happen. With Lando there, it is assured, safe
Please note that no matter how much I am writing here, it is all artistic speculation of what Oscar himself has decided to show the world. Do not forget that these drivers are real people.
I wrote this after my own personal experience. I find Oscar incredibly familiar and relatable. It doesn't help that I look enough like him that the merge filter on TikTok refuses to merge me with him specifically.
Thank you so much for the dividers to @cafekitsune and @saradika ! They are so pretty!
Thank you so much for reading! It would mean a lot if I managed to get some comments or reposts!
I have another story with Lestappen (Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen), called 'Stop, but not forever, that I posted some days ago. If you like this please go and support that as well! It can be found on my Masterlist, at the Formula 1 one.
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ardeius · 2 years
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elaytv · 1 year
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youtube
🌼Introverts & Friendship🌹 (Introduction )
What is an Introvert? 🤔
Are You one? 🤔📝😳
Find out more on the platform 🥳
🍊
https://youtu.be/gpqkX2ge7Oc
🍊
🍊
🍊
🛸
#elaytv #elay 😎📺✌🏼🛸
#ercerla 👠👠
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imyselfamhorny · 1 year
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The Second Life of A Highschoolor
Sitting my plush ass apawin my high chair in art class, I agressively retreve my My Little Pony™ lunchbox from my 50 pound school bag. Hungerly gripping the zipper and unferlling its contents. I delecately arrange them from healthy to unhealthy and consume accordingly. It was a buissy day in the Art Class room, if I remmember correctly its Art Club today wich explained the population- "Do you mind if I sit here?" A voice broke me from my revree. I said 'yes' timidly but in a way that ment "no I'm unbothered; You can sit here" I studied the seemingly male individual, blond. And with a distinct tilt to his voice that told me he was gay - After a couple minutes of silence another much smaller male sat down next to him and they both started to complain about there meger freshman social lifes. I was enthralled by there tails of infamus break-ups, and 'Brandon' was a hot topic, I can't belive hes with Bush now! I mean there so not good for eachother! - But I always thought Bush was annoying - I always thought Ace was annoying - What? I never said anything about Ace - ... -- The betrayal! the rivalry! the sexual tention! It alone was enough to write at least one meta-fiction about the pair! The Left: A stoick guy with a thing for Graphity, struggleing to his addiction to vaper fun boxes that tasted bad! The Right: A young man struggleing with his place in highschoool friend-groups adrift amongs a sea of opptions!
I think its interesting what people say in public when they assume that people arn't listening to them. Really crazy! And Freshman, man! There a different breed of it. (Im not sure if they were freshmen but I swear I could smell the middle schooler energy just rollin off of em') Not to say its particularly a bad smell, just not supper practical in the long run of it. but certainly entertaining.
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p1nkshield · 1 year
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Bruce being just as guilty of introducing Jason to people like he is but a small little guy.
Bruce at gala supporting youth literary comprehension programs: Have you met my son Jason? As stubborn as kids can be I managed to get him to attend.
Beneficiary: oh that’s wonderful! Does your son enjoy literature?
Bruce: oh absolutely! That’s what convinced him to even come! He has so many respectable hobbies for someone his age. Kids these days rarely find value in the classics but not Jason! Honestly he reads more, and more in depth, than I do! He’s a little mechanic too! When I first saw him he was trying to take the tires off my car with a lug wrench that was bigger than him! It was quite a sight and a rather unconventional way to meet your son but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Beneficiary, blinks as they try to process all the proud dad info: …well that’s lovely, we have some activities for the children of the donors so that none of them get too bored!
Bruce: that’s great! I’ll let him know. Jason, can you come here for a moment?
A very tall, wide, and muscular man turns around and raises an eyebrow.
What a coincidence, that dude must also be named Jason.
He walks towards them
Jason: what do you want old man?
What
Bruce: there are activities at that table if you’re bored.
Huh
Jason: thanks for the memo but I’m not exactly at coloring book age anymore remember?
Bruce: I suppose you’re right :(
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inkskinned · 1 year
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you get used to it, but it's tiring, because they need you to understand your own life as a series of goalposts. what college are you going to, what's your major going to be, whatcha gonna do with that, oh where will you settle down, when can i expect grandkids.
for the longest time my goals have been so blurry that they track into each other, their undefined edges slipping quietly back into the soft night. today i want to be a writer; tomorrow i will want to be a doctor, later i will wish i took that law school free ride. how the fuck do people just know what they want to do with their life?
where do you want to be in five years? i want to be alive; which is a huge step for me. ten years ago i would have said i want to be asleep and meant i hope that i'm dead by then.
but i want a yellow kitchen and a stand mixer. i want a garden and a fruit tree (cherry, if i can make that happen) and a big yard for my dogs to play in. i want to come home and read poetry out loud to someone and have them close their eyes to listen. i want a summer watergun fight. i want to make snowmen. i want to be the house to go to for halloween. i want my life to settle around me in a softness, for it to lay down gently. if i am very, very, very lucky, i want to travel; finally go someplace overseas.
of course i don't know what i want to be doing professionally. what i actually want to be doing is curling up beside my dog, settling in to read. i want to be making myself a cup of good coffee.
i can't answer the other questions. whenever people asked me what do you want to be when you grow up, i used to say i hope i'm happy.
i hope i'm still kind, five years from now. i hope i never get jaded and mean. i hope i have stayed in therapy. what do you picture yourself doing? when will you actually be an adult about this? why are you so afraid of being ambitious?
am i not ambitious? the other day i rearranged my furniture which doesn't quite fit into my apartment. i watered my plants. i'm going to try to propagate a cherry seed. my five year goal is to spend more time laughing. to lie down in a patch of sunwarm moss. to relax for a minute. to close my eyes and think oh thank god. this is why i stayed. this is finally it.
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thesweetpinkcutie · 1 year
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#13 Chili
https://www.instagram.com/p/CkL0LzRuqcx/
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meawqing · 5 months
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the baby general appears again
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minbinchan · 6 months
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aduckinpain · 6 months
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Formula 1
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Fanfiction
Stop, but not forever
Charles Leclerc Character Analysis
Pairing: heavily implied Lestappen, Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Leclerc World Champion
Word Count: 1.3k
I know.
Oscar Piastri Character Analysis
Pairing: Landoscar, Twinklaren, Lando Norris x Oscar Piastri,
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, heavily projecting onto Piastri, Happy Ending
Word Count: 1.5k
Let the Sky fall
Max Verstappen Character Analysis
Pairing: Lestappen, Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Dug into Max's Past, Trigger warning Jos Verstappen, Happy Ending
Word Count: 2k
The Boat catches (when the Lantern falls)
Lando Norris Character Analysis
Pairing: Landoscar, Twinklaren, Lando Norris x Oscar Piastri
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, has the Qatar GP 2023, Happy Ending
Word Count: 2.7k
The Ice and The Snow (can't melt with each other near)
Logan Sargeant Character Analysis
Pairing: Loscar, Rookies 2023, Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Qatar Radio 2023, Las Vegas Quali, Happy Ending
Word Count: 2.7k
Orange heals when you bleed Red
Carlos Sainz Character Analysis
Pairing: Carlando, Teammates at heart, Carlos Sainz x Lando Norris
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Multiple Grand Prix 2023, Las Vegas Crash, Happy Ending
Word Count: 2.8k
Grief still knows my number
Charles Leclerc Character Analysis
Pairing: heavily implied Lestappen, Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Dealing with Grief, Deep dive into emotions, Accurate Real Life Qoutes
Word Count: 2.8k
...
..
.
I am incredibly active on my Archive Of Our Own, user roianamustang. Every fanfiction is posted there first then here. The tags and descriptions are also more detailed. I would appreciate the support there!
There I have a Series called The minds of Men, where I will continue analysing different drivers and their mentalities regarding life.
-> https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoianaMustang
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hyunchanz · 7 months
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he was so mad 🪑
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daerm20 · 8 days
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sry just gathering data
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omi-boshi · 1 month
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thinking of little omi wanting a dog but his parents tell him he has to earn it because it's a big responsibility for someone as young as he is. so, he sets up a piggy bank to save up for adoption fees. he doesn't tell his parents about it because he wants to show them when he's saved up enough money.
surely if he has the money that means he's responsible enough right?
in the following months, omi sets aside a fraction of his daily allowance to put into his piggy bank.
it's slow-going until his siblings find the piggy bank labeled with "dog savings" in omi's messy scrawl. they're so charmed by their baby brother's antics that they slip in their own spare change behind omi's back.
they never tell him of course because knowing their brother —their sweet and earnest little brother — he would want to do this on his own.
by the time omi's 10th birthday comes, his piggy bank is practically bursting at the seams. he holds it tightly in his little hands as his family sings him a happy birthday.
when it's time to blow out the candles and he has to make a wish, he lifts up the piggy bank and tells his parents how he's been saving up the past few months. that he has enough to pay for the adoption fees. that he's 10, and he's a big boy now, ready for big boy responsibilities.
"i'm responsible enough for a dog now, right?" he would then ask, eyes bright with earnest hope he tries so hard to tamp down just in case they say no. his parents would exchange surprised looks followed immediately by shaking heads and laughter. lots of laughter. omi is rightfully confused. he frowns.
are they laughing at him? the thought makes him flush in embarrassment. his dad leaves the room, still laughing. when he comes back, it's with a box that's almost a little too big for omi. the birthday cake lays forgotten, candles melted, as omi looks curiously at the box in front of him, then to his parents, and then his siblings, and then back to the box.
his older brother nudges him to open it and when he does, omi doesn't know what to do with himself. the akita puppy yipping at him in the box was too much for 10-year-old omi to bear that he starts bawling.
he's hugging the puppy to hide his tears, and in the background he hears cooing and more birthday wishes from his family.
see, his parents had always intended to give omi a dog the moment he asked. omi rarely asked for anything so whenever he did, his parents were always more than ready and excited to give it to him. however, this time, they waited until his birthday because, admittedly, they had a hard time thinking of what to get him.
it seems they made the right decision watching their son pet the akita in quiet awe. they're happy that their little boy loved his birthday present but when they see his dejected little pout a little while later followed by a sad, "i saved for nothing then..." they knew they had to make right with him (not really but what is omi if not their precious youngest).
and that's how omi ends up with not one but two puppies for his 10th birthday.
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nerdpoe · 8 months
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Danny needs help. Danny needs the Ancient of Justice.
Only one small problem; there isn't one.
Or at least, there isn't one yet.
The previous Ancient of Justice had been Pariah Dark, and after seeing so many injustices he had gone mad, and sought to fix the Infinite Realms through force.
But Clockwork assures Danny that there's an Ancient of Justice in the works, he's just still mortal at the moment.
Danny...really can't wait for the guy to die to ask for assistance. The Demons only deal in absolutes, and he needs someone like the Ancient of Justice on his side to help him with the weird double speak they insist on using.
Otherwise, they'll bamboozle him into more territory and displace more ghosts.
So he hunts the not-an-Ancient yet down.
Which is how Batman finds himself being stared down by a teenager with vividly glowing green eyes.
"Listen up, you're gonna be a God when you die and I need you to cash in those God Powers early; demons are getting uppity and they keep talking circles. I need you to make them listen."
The kid has black hair, is too skinny, his clothes are scuffed and dirty, and is clearly living in a vivid fantasy to escape from his harsh reality of being homeless.
The eyes speak of a clear Lazarus Contamination, and the stance speaks of someone who is trained to fight.
So he asks the only thing he can think to.
"...Are you hungry?"
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heich0e · 2 months
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atsumu's kids would be the type to call their mom by their name rather than title bc of atsumu
i personally am on the other side of this argument and am of the belief that atsumu's kids don't know their mother even HAS a government name because he strikes me as the type of guy to refer to his wife nearly exclusively as mama or ma after the babies are born (at least in their presence)
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