#the reason my relationship with food is so bad is because my mom at age 52 is still the pickiest eater I’ve ever met

[bajisbbg]

🐈‍⬛

tw: this is my first time actually posting anything i’ve written. i made these pretty late at night so i’m sorry if they’re bad i just wanted to write something. probably some spelling mistakes and stuff i didn’t feel like checking it throughly.

a/n: please be nice

personal

* i’ve mentioned this before but baji absolutely LOVES the yakuza game

* favorite one is yakuza 0 (definitely not because this is the only one i’ve watched so far🌚)

* john cena fanboy for absolutely no reason. has his theme as his ringtone

* number 1 baby metal fan. owns their merch and goes to every concert

* his favorite season is summer for obvious reasons but his favorite holiday is definitely christmas because he and mikey ride around with shin

* HATES horror movies. like nothing can convince this man to watch them. even the kiddie ones like goosebumps or scary stories to tell in the dark will have him act like the devil just touched his soul

* definitely the kind of guy to walk around with one lens in his glasses after a fight

* purposely named his bike cockroach knowing pah is afraid of them

* he used to hate his fangs when he was little because kids used to tease him and say he was a dog

* that was until he started saying he’d bite and give them rabies if they kept messing with him

* cannot grow facial hair to save his life

* judges people on how they interact with animals, specifically cats

* despite popular belief, i don’t think he would get any tattoos. he seems like a piercing guy and definitely cannot sit that long for a tattoo

* gave himself the alias edward because he used to watch twilight with his mom

* he even had a phase when he acted like a vampire but will vehemently deny and threaten anyone who dares to bring it up

* is lactose intolerant and just like many of us will eat dairy and instantly regret it as soon as it hits his stomach

* sometimes he feels insecure about the fact he was held back, all of his friends moving up while he’s left behind

* even though he has a reputation for committing arson and slightly unprovoked violence, keisuke is truly a model citizen☝🏽

* volunteers at shelters, helps the elderly, feeds the homeless, solves climate change. he truly is a saint and can do no wrong!

home life

* i like the idea that his mom was a teen mom and that his father was never really around and just stopped coming one day

* due to her job, his mom sometimes works really late or super early so over the years he’s learned to cook (the only good thing he can cook is yakisoba)

* on the nights he knows his mom will be back late he cooks her food and despite it not being the best she still loves it

* even though she works a lot the two of them are still very close and their favorite thing to do is read manga and watch mystery dramas whenever she’s off

* despite not knowing his dad(he only visited when he was a baby) he never felt insecure about it

* he’s a total mamas boy, and will fight anyone who says something about her

* when ryoko was younger, she wanted to have a lot of kids but after having keisuke she changed her mind. she felt it would be selfish to have so many kids when she works so much and after realizing how much of a handful he can be.

* despite that and having him at such a young age, keisuke was the best thing to ever happen to her and wouldn’t trade him or his wildness for the world.

relationship

* back on the yakuza point, whenever you’re sad he’ll grab a hair brush, turn up the radio and start singing 24-hour cinderella to you until his voice is gone

* when you guys get in a fight he’ll act like he’s in a 2000’s r&b mv and start singing bakamitai. chifuyu gets the hose to spray water above him, kazutora plays the music, and ryusei records the whole thing so baji can send it to you

* a biter, like what’s the point of him having those sharp ass teeth if he don’t try to take a chunk out of you

* whatever your favorite animal is, he’s gonna buy every single book about them so he can share little facts about it with you

* if you’re into a specific artist or group, he’ll listen to their whole discography and learn everything in the fandom

* becomes a horanghae enthusiast and will force you to be one as well

* just like he’s loyal to his friends and toman, he’s loyal to you

* like foreva togetha foreva LOCKED IN 🤞🏽

* a girl tries flirting with him and all of a sudden he’s hellen keller

* the type of boyfriend to say you’re too spoiled whoever you ask for something while doing said thing you requested

* will literally lift his ass off the seat while you’re sitting next to him and fart on you then blame it on you

* talm bout some ‘ew the hell did you eat’ like his diet doesn’t consist of yakisoba, monster energy drinks, and beef glizzies

* speaking of farts😸 keisuke will send pics of his shit to you asking if it looks normal

* will make fun of you if you’re lactose intolerant as if he don’t be upside down on the toilet fighting for his life

* is constantly in your personal space. like he’ll be standing behind you while you play like candy crush or best fiends mumbling about moves you can make. sometimes he’ll snatch your phone and play it himself

* what’s yours is his. mid chew on something he wants? he’s opening your mouth and popping it in his, no matter if it’s soggy

* absolutely loves giving and receiving hugs, being in your arms makes him feel safe and gives reassurance that despite all of his flaws you still love him

* stares at you with his mouth open, no matter what you’re doing or how you look his eyes are on you 24/7

* takes the absolute worst pictures of you on facetime and puts each one in his favorites until the end of time

* throws rocks at your window at like 4 in the morning knowing you both have school just so you can ride around with him until the sun comes up

* i feel like he’d totally like mellow down on the things he does. he doesn’t want to worry you while he’s away

* constantly checks up with you so you know he’s okay and not lying on the ground somewhere and dying 🌚

this is so scary bye 😭

#tokyo revengers #baji keisuke #keisuke baji #kittykei #tokyo revengers baji #tokrev #tokrev baji #tokyo revengers keisuke #tokyo revengers keisuke baji #baji hcs #tr baji #toman baji #baji keisuke x reader #baji x reader #baji fluff #bajikeisuke #baji x black!reader #baji #keisukebaji #tokrev baji keisuke #toman keisuke baji #toman baji keisuke #baji headcanons

[sasusakucoded]

Mebuki: *sighs* When will you learn? Place the flowers here. *points to the spot next to the vase*

Sakura: Sorry.. *places the bouquet near the vase* There.. *turns to Sasuke* Um, Sasuke-kun, you already know my mom right? *turns to her mother* Mom, this is Sasuke-kun.. We just got back recently from our travels..

Sasuke: *bows* Hi.

Mebuki: Have a sit. Please wait for a bit while we prepare the food. Her father will meet you later. *fake smiles*

Sasuke: Thanks. *sees Sakura's worried look*

Mebuki: *takes Sakura to the kitchen* What would a terrorist like to eat?

Kizashi: *laughs*

Sakura: *whispers* Mom, what is wrong with you?

Kizashi: You should've asked that to yourself. Why would you bring him here? I'm sure our neighbors saw you. Heck, it's so embarrassing.

Mebuki: Isn't it true though that he's a terrorist? Of all people, Sakura? Of all people?

Sakura: Mom, Dad, please lower your voice.. He might hear you..

Mebuki: I don't care! A criminal, really?

Kizashi: And an international one at that.

Sakura: Don't say that! He's not— He's not a criminal..

Mebuki: He was and he will always be, in every citizen's eyes! Sakura! You've had many suitors.. Almost all are from noble families.. That boy— If you go with that boy, you'll be a disgrace. *sighs*

Sakura: Mom..

Kizashi: At least he's good looking and he's an Uchiha. Right, Sakura?

Mebuki: *stares at Sakura* Why am I even surprised? You've always been like that. No ambition. You always do the opposite of what I ask you to do.

Sakura: Please stop.. Let's talk about this some other time—

Mebuki: You think you're independent just because you're strong physically. You think you can make your own decisions just because you're intelligent..

Kizashi: Sakura, you'll always need your family. You can't even cook, let alone live and survive on your own. Prove something to us then maybe we'll consider your choices.

Mebuki: Well, sorry to tell you, Sakura, but you haven't proven anything! Look at you! Your life is stagnant.. You could've chosen a different path. But, you wanted to be different so bad! You want to go for your stupid dreams!

Sakura: I— I just.. I just—

Mebuki: You just followed your heart? You always say that. You followed your dream to be a ninja even if our family has no kekkei genkai. You followed the love of your life even if he's the worst—

Sakura: STOOOOP!!

Mebuki: *dumbfounded*

Kizashi: *taken aback*

Sasuke: *overhears everything; thinking if he should meddle and go there* /thinks/ Sakura is going through this regularly? *remembers his conversation with Naruto*

|||

Naruto: So, you're meeting her family, huh.. Are you nervous?

Sasuke: What is there to be nervous about?

Naruto: I don't know if it's still the same but Sakura-chan doesn't have a good relationship with her parents, especially her mother. I actually thought she crossed the line when she talked crap about them once.

Sasuke: Well, Sakura must have her reasons.

Naruto: It pained me to hear her talk about her parents like that.. Especially when I myself— You know—

Sasuke: I get you. I lost my parents at a young age and it still hurts me to this day thinking they could've been living peacefully with me.. But Naruto..

Naruto: What is it?

Sasuke: We can't judge Sakura. We were never in her shoes. I must admit, I also thought that at first glance, yes she's luckier than us. But there are other factors too.

Naruto: *nods* Right. Sakura-chan was right after all.

Sasuke: Hm?

Naruto: When she ranted to me about her parents before, I got pissed to be honest.. We almost argued about it.. And she said it would've been different if you were there. Like you'd understand her situation better.

|||

Sasuke: /thinks/ Naruto and I used to envy Sakura because her family is complete. But this— This is too much..

Sakura: I invited him as a human, you will treat him as a human—

Mebuki: How dare you speak to me like that— *about to slap her*

Sasuke: *grabs her hand* Sharingan! *erases her memory*

Sakura: S-Sasuke-kun!

Sasuke: We're leaving. *takes her hand and leaves Mebuki and Kizashi sitting at their dining table*

---

Sakura: *sobbing*

Sasuke: I should've erased your memory as well.

Sakura: Did you hear everything?

Sasuke: Yeah.

Sakura: I'm sorry—

Sasuke: It's not your fault.. It's mine.. I shouldn't have gone there.

Sakura: No, I invited you, remember?

Sasuke: Yes, but I didn't want you to have a fight with your parents because of me.. That's also the reason why I erased their memories. I don't want them to have a recollection of your argument earlier.

Sakura: It's embarrassing.. People think I have a perfect family.. But it's far from perfect.. It's far from normal..

Sasuke: You can tell me about them, you know. *holds her hand* You can be honest with me.

Sakura: I'm sorry for not telling you about them. I kept them from you on purpose because they're not good. Lady Tsunade and Kakashi-sensei have always been my mother and father figures..

Sasuke: I understand..

Sakura: My mom.. She's a perfectionist. She likes everything to be done her way. She could be loud if I didn't follow her.. In fact I was scared to do something wrong when I was a kid.

Sasuke: /thinks/ No wonder you were also loud and insensitive when we were younger.

Sakura: My dad on the other hand.. He's usually nonchalant but he always sides with my mom. So, it's always 2 versus 1. When I went to the Academy to train as a ninja, they were both against it.

Sasuke: Did you rebel?

Sakura: You can say that.. Years after, I thought they've accepted it.. But apparently they didn't.

Sasuke: They told you straight up?

Sakura: That's the thing.. They talked behind my back.. I could be at the living room and they'd talk loudly about me in their bedroom.

Sasuke: Sakura..

Sakura: I heard them say, "when will she give up?", "a ninja can't be that clumsy", "she should've gone for another career", *how can she be bright and dumb at the same time?"

Sasuke: They said that?

Sakura: Yes.. On purpose.. *starts crying*

Sasuke: *hugs her* I'm sorry, Sakura.

Sakura: I told you it's not your fault..

Sasuke: No.. I'm sorry for judging you when we were younger.. Part of my annoyance was rooted to your insensitivity.. Your situation was much—

Sakura: I was really mean and I didn't even know.. I thought I was acting normal.. Maybe I was acting like my parents..

Sasuke: But you've changed.. You went past that behavior.

Sakura: *smiles softly* Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry if I can't introduce you to them properly..

Sasuke: You don't have to..

Sakura: S-Sasuke-kun?

Sasuke: I've read once.. Stop planting flowers in people's yards who aren't going to water them.

Sakura: *nods* That's.. That's deep.. But I agree..

Sasuke: In time, we will have our own little family.. We will be different.

Sakura: Sasuke-kun! *smiles* Yes.. I promise I'll try to be a good parent..

Sasuke: A good parent that you never had..

Sakura: *nods*

---

12 years later..

Sakura: *washing the dishes* Ah, the food was so good.

Sasuke: Yes. Sarada's dishes and your cooking will make me fat. *laughs*

Sakura: Our baby is a grownup now. *giggles*

Sasuke: And you should've seen her fireball jutsu earlier.

Sakura: I bet it was big!

Sasuke: It was. Only a true Uchiha can make something as big as that.

Sarada: *overhears them from the living room* /thinks/ My parents always talk like I'm not around.. Sometimes it's TMI but most of the time it's wholesome like this. They're so silly.. But I love them so much.. I'll make you prouder, Mama, Papa!

#sasusaku #sasusaku headcanon #ss headcanon #from ask #ty anon1 #ty anon2 #sscoded no 271

[weywookitswestwood]

HEYYO I FINISHED MY VIV CHARACTER ANALYSIS/BIO/HCS!! +18

(UPDATE: I added a few more hcs cuz I forgot to add them. I might remember more so expect the list to get a little longer)

Just putting a few content warnings out there before you go on scrollin’, there are some nsfw hcs down below so if you’re under 18, you’re in the wrong place. Also there is some mentions of family em*tional *buse and trauma so please skip if you don’t wanna read. Anyways, please enjoy~

Full name: Viviano Westwood (wasn’t born with a middle name)

Nicknames: Westwood, V, Viv, Vivi(don’t ever call him this, he’ll get mad), Vivikins(Or this), Big Guy/Fella/Lug, Vivano, Vibiano, Fabiano, Steve, Eastwood, Winwood, Jarhead(on second thought, only refer to him as either Westwood, V, or Viv)

Stand: Planet Waves (DISC)

Birthday: July 31st, 1983

Zodiac: Boar

Age: 28

Height: 6’1 (186 cm)

Nationality: American (Mostly of English and a bit of Italian descent)

Occupation: G. D. St. Prison guard

Personality: Large and in charge… sort of. Values brawn over brains. Not meaning he’s stupid, he’s just a simple man. Lacks in direction, both figuratively and literally. Because of his physical strength and his simple nature, he gets treated like an ox, whether it be from his parents or his job. Due to his upbringing, he has difficulty opening up or being sentimental. Instead, he copes through anger such as punching walls or snapping at people. He sees crying or being vulnerable as signs of weakness, another result from his upbringing. Likes to antagonize weak targets or criminals to make himself feel better. He claims he turned to the justice system because he wanted to keep evil people locked up for good from the public. That could be true, BUT others around him know there’s more to it than the reason he gives. Behind this mask, he’s an insecure and lonely man. Doesn’t have a spouse or kids or pets. He can be sociable, but doesn’t have any close friends. His love life is zero to none. He relishes in the heat of the moment, but once the discussion of marriage or starting a family is brought up, he’s out the door. Despite his flaws, he’s strong, resilient and yearns for excitement in his life. Perhaps being with the right people, he can find himself underneath that cold exterior and be a nicer, happier guy.

Favorite musician: Earth, Wind, & Fire, The Marshall Tucker Band(he’s a closeted country fan), and not a fan of the singer but he likes Fantasy by Mariah Carey

Favorite book: Playboy magazine

Favorite food: Anything SPICY

Background: Viviano was born in 1983 in Texas to a military veteran father and a hairdresser mother. From the time he was in diapers to 12 years of age, he lived a strict military lifestyle. No, his father wasn’t physical towards Viviano, but their relationship was better described as a “drill sergeant and cadet” dynamic than a “father and son” one. Basically this meant raising Viv how to be a “man” like teaching him how to use a gun at 4 years old and berating him if he began to cry. If there was one thing Viviano feared the most… it was his father. He had a close relationship to his mother, even being labeled a “momma’s boy” by his dad.

By 12, his parents divorced and he chose to go with his mother to Florida, not before his father called him a “disappointment”. For seven years, Viviano lived with his mom in Port Orange, Florida, being enrolled in junior high. While not as bad as his father and at times would be overly affectionate, his mom did boss him around. He was a growing boy after all, he was able to reach and physically do things that she couldn’t. At school, teachers looked down at him as a strong, yet intellectually incompetent boy, who could care less about his grades. Not only that, he needed to boss someone like how his parents bossed him, so he made a name for himself as a bully. He would continue to pick on classmates all through high school until his grades were so abysmal he had to be held back in his senior year and didn’t graduate until the year 2002 when he was about 19. Both of his parents were ashamed of this news.

After graduating high school, he tried to join the military but after three months of boot camp, he left. His father called him a “lost cause”. It was the most humiliating moment of his life. He got a job at a Miami customs house and was there for years until he was let go. He wouldn’t tell anyone why but supposedly it was due to his temper. At 25, he got a job as a prison guard at the Green Dolphin State Prison.

Random headcanons: (Warning: some are sfw/nsfw)

SFW:

-Has a bit of a gambling addiction

-Only child

-Not the best driver, gets worked up if he misses his turn

-Mf doesn’t wear socks (I know I bring this up constantly as a joke but this is canon)

-His mom cuts his hair

-Overheats easily, he’s always warm to the touch not even an ice bath will cool him down

-Big sports fan, especially football and baseball, his favorite teams are the Dallas Cowboys and the Miami Marlins, respectively

-Has a really bad habit of cracking his knuckles

-Has naturally long eyelashes

-Doesn’t really have any talents besides bench pressing and being strong

-He can be self conscious about trivial things like being insecure about the size of his hands (he’s afraid of having small hands)

-Accidentally punched his grandma in the chest after tickling him too hard (she was okay just had to go to the hospital for a small fracture in her ribcage)

-Misses living in Texas

-He had a bit of a Texan accent growing up, it’s mostly gone but it’ll randomly come up when his voice cracks

-Sucks at flirting

-Doesn’t have a filter

NSFW:

-Not a virgin

-If you ask him who he’s into, he would say women but secretly, he’s a bit curious if ya catch my drift

-Doesn’t really have a type as long as the woman is of age, consenting, and isn’t a bitchy hag

-Likes being the dominant one when it comes to… ahem, the bed

-He likes to make anything into a “battle”; sex, play wrestling, tickle fights, etc. he’ll do whatever it takes to make his partner submit (psst hey you, yeah you, there’s a way to beat him, he’s super ticklish on his belly, ribs, and feet, get him in one of his death spots, he’ll be sobbing for mercy)

-Frequently gets hard ons, even in the most inconvenient of times (at work)

-Likes to be on top, but is nice enough to be a service top too

-Loves a partner who’s either a switch or just as domineering as he is

-One of his kinks is bondage, loves the idea of cuffing up his partner and letting his hands roam all over their body

-Can see him being a foot guy (dunno why, just cuz I guess); prefers to give than to receive because he’s ticklish but will be okay receiving it if his partner really wants to; but he loves foot jobs

-His favorite thing (I’m sorry everyone)… is CBT; any chance his partner is grabbing or crushing him down there, he’s on cloud nine (this part was honestly painful to write)

-Loves oral, receiving that is (but he likes to give as well)

[mrsmess]

falafel

the way you were just there at that hole in the wall when you shouldn’t even have been there at all and neither should I, but there I was just because my kid got out early and it was a toss between going home or staying in town we rarely get out, we should hang around let’s go get a falafel it’s the only city in the country where you can get a decent one for reasonable money it’s easily done so we gotta get a falafel and sit outside in the setting sun it’s not a big city on a international scale and I’m bad at math it's the one class I failed but there are three hundred thousand people living here and that’s a lot or at least enough so the chance of running into someone you know is not that high or even there but you were there and so was I I was stunned even when you said my name before you told me chance is why you came

a motorcycle thundered by you said I hate that and I said why are you sitting by a heavily trafficked street in a city where you don’t even stay and told my kid of the place where you live it’s real pretty but real far away I went to visit you there when I was nineteen and in a relationship with a boy who was mean and who tagged along and sulked the whole time but your wife was really kind to me and you don’t appreciate that when you’re young and blind you spoke to my kid in that way of yours you’re really good with them which is of course obvious that you’d be when you work as much as you do with them we ate our falafel, spilled food everywhere and loud, obnoxious music filled up the air you told my kid about your girls who where in a big contest the other year my kid said I don’t remember them I always root for the old, bald men I smiled and told you you should enter the contest then but you already did back when I was a kid and you sang that cheesy song with your awful ex wife you were on television but out of my life

next thing I know we’re in your car, you say you have to drive me home and I let you because that’s what we are to each other even if it’s been years since I met you you say you’ve thought about me and I say I think about you all the time too but leave out all my mixed feelings because we’re in a car and driving fast and I already know the moment won’t last we won’t have time enough to discuss the important stuff when are we supposed to? you ask about mom and I say she’s good even if she’s waiting for surgery for some reason at sixty miles per hour I commit perjury I remember when you left and how she cried even if she said she didn’t love you right I talk about my dad, and you say who is your dad again? it’s a joke because my dad is no more a father to me than other men my grandpa for example tried to fill his shoes and you at one point though that was a game you could only lose but you don’t mention yourself in this equation even if you were part of the situation and maybe neither of you were to blame but in this one crucial way you’re all the same Grandpa was too old, you were too young and my daddy was simply too far gone all of you went away for too long

my kid talks in the backseat and I try to divide my attention and give you direction at one point you almost miss an exit and say something sarcastic about my instruction in an infuriatingly ironic tone of voice when neither then nor now gave me a choice I did not ask to be put in this seat and for a beat I’m convinced that you have some feelings to work through regarding me and my mom, some residue and also that I would be willing to do that with you if you would only ask me to but you won’t and I don’t expect you to come in when we’re parked and I invite you to come through as expected you say no and that it’s time to go and maybe you don’t care or you do but don’t think it’s fair to share because to you I’m still four and either way you stack the years you’ll always have seventeen more when we met we were really just two kids at different ages now we’re adults at different grieving stages

I get out of the car, say thanks for the ride and give my love to your spouse and I take my kid’s hand and head for our house I want to say I love you and hate you and why did you abandon me? instead I swallow the sting and cling to common sense laugh about the crazy coincidence like that and destiny isn’t the same thing

#a poem #poetry #stuff I’ll never tell my family and friends #if my life wasn’t rhyming it would simply be true and that is unacceptable

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Eighteen

Back in Clontarf, I perch at the gleaming, marble island while Jude prepares dinner. I watch him doing it with undisguised interest, because he cooks the way that I imagine he makes art, fully absorbed, with precision and confidence, and completely and utterly in the flow of his own enjoyment. He connects his iPhone to a Bluetooth speaker and plays music for a while, until Ivy bursts in and complains that she can’t focus on her homework with all of the noise.

He switches it off for her, but even in the silence he moves around to the beat of the music in his head, with a smile on his face that only endures the more stupid questions I ask him about what he’s doing. He’s making a spice mix in a pestle and mortar, he’s coating the fillets in flour, that’s actually rose water, not vanilla, yes, he taught himself how to do this, those flowers are actually totally edible, they’re not just there to look good, so a shallot is actually stronger than an onion, that’s why he’s using it. He prepared a lot of it earlier, marinating fresh fish in harissa for hours, and par boiling the potatoes so that they’d be oven ready by the time we got home from visiting Jen, and when I ask him where he found the time to do all of this he explains that he was simply procrastinating, because he doesn’t want to write his thesis. 

We eat at the dining table with Ivy, who shovels the food into her mouth in the span of about five minutes despite her complaints about it tasting bad, and gives a series of very bored, one word answers to his questions about school in between mouthfuls. He reminds her that she should practise for her piano lesson tomorrow and tells her that he can’t collect her from afterschool hockey so she’ll have to get the bus. It occurs to me that this is perhaps the most un-sibling like relationship I’ve ever witnessed. Perhaps it’s a symptom of their age gap. 

“Where’re your parents tonight?” I query once Ivy rushes off to her bedroom to reconvene whatever teen girl things were interrupted by dinner, and he looks down at his plate. “Working late again.”

“Seems like they really like to work.”

“They sure do. Or they really like not having to be in this house.”

He’s said things like this to me before, these kind of vaguely troubling statements about his parents in very casual, matter of fact ways, as though they’re entirely absent and have no love for each other whatsoever, and this is something he finds normal. I’ve never asked him about it before, and something I’ve never quite been able to handle the idea of broaching, but now, since we’re… kind of, sort of going out with each other it suddenly feels important to know whether his expectations for his own relationships are different to his parents’ strange marriage.  

“What is it about them?”

“We don’t have to discuss these grim things about my family, it’s alright.”

“We don’t have to, but I think I’d like to know about it.”

He pushes his food thoughtfully around his plate. “They just shouldn’t have gotten married, I suppose. I think they meant well initially but it’s ultimately done more damage than good.” He glances towards the closed door and up towards the ceiling, where his sister is, and lowers his voice a little bit. “I think they’ll probably get a divorce as soon as Ivy finishes school.”

“Oh.”

“I’m the reason they’re married, and she’s the reason they’re still together. They had this amazing idea at one point that having another child would solve all of their issues, but now they’ve just trapped themselves in a bind for an extra nine years. They could be blissfully divorced by now, but they won’t do it until she’s moved out, because they don’t want to disrupt her schooling.” 

“How old were they when you were born?”

“Nineteen and twenty one.” 

“Oh, God.”

“Yep, big mistake. Whoops.” he tosses a chunk of potato into his mouth and leans back in his chair. “Mom finished school and went to stay with her aunt in America, took up a job at a department store in Albuquerque, hooked up with a med student at a bar on her first month there, and well…” He throws up his hands in mock celebration. “Here I am!”

“I suppose that being unmarried with a child wasn’t really an option for your mother at the time.” 

“No, not at all, I mean, she had come from catholic Ireland. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to live at home again unless she married the man from that bar.” The way he speaks about his father is strange, as though despite his presence in their lives, he’s still some random, nameless med student from San Bernardino. 

“And then what?” 

“Well, then my dad continued school, and my mom began her studies and my great aunt took care of me on and off until my dad got his doctorate degree. Then they had Ivy, on purpose, by the way, and when she was a baby we moved back here.” He shrugs. “That’s all.”

I breathe out a laugh. “You’re so cagey.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah it’s like you don’t want to talk about them, or your home life, like, ever.”

He doesn’t look like he’s all that bothered by my interrogation, he just gives me this self-effacing little smile. “Come on, Evie. It’s because this stuff is boring.” 

“I don’t think it’s boring at all.” 

“Well, okay. They didn’t want to be together, they shouldn’t have had kids, and they act like they never did because they barely parented either one of us. Has anyone ever told you that you’re bad at letting things drop?”

“Yeah, loads. Has anyone ever told you that you’re bad at talking about serious things?”

“Of course.” The corner of his mouth quirks up and he lifts my arm from the table to kiss the inner part of my wrist. “Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?”

“Yes, you. Tell me what it was like for you when you were growing up.” 

“I’ve told you loads about my childhood already though.” 

“Yeah, you have, and I loved hearing about how badly behaved you were and what it felt like to live in America, but I wish you’d get into the guts of it, the real stuff.”

“The real stuff?”

“The stuff that makes you so clearly sad. You get that look on your face whenever it comes up.”

He hasn’t let go of my wrist, and now his thumb is gently stroking the skin that he kissed a moment before while he stares out into the garden through streak-free glass patio doors, and he chews on his lip before deciding to speak. “Well, when Ivy was born I stopped being a kid, I suppose. My parents didn’t have a lot of interest in caring for either of us, and I was lucky, because my great aunt in Albuquerque did all of that for them when I was little, but when we moved here the support system really fell away. Nobody had considered that. We have my mom’s parents, but they’re about as warm as she is, and even though we’d be dumped over to theirs at the weekends, it wasn’t like we had especially fun or memorable times. Usually we’d get some bucket of crap toys from the seventies and whatever was on the three TV channels that they had. They were okay, but Ivy was a really nervous toddler. She didn’t like being around unfamiliar people, to the point that our grandmother would have to roll her bottles down the hallway to where she was hiding at the bottom of the stairs so that she’d drink anything at all. She just screamed whenever either of our grandparents came near her. It just wasn’t working out, so we eventually stopped having to go, and by then, when I was like eleven, it just made sense that I’d look after her instead.”

“What did that involve?”

“Everything. Feeding her, dressing her, putting her to bed, shopping for food, toys, eventually bringing her to the creche. She used to go to the childminders while I was at school, but only until I finished at three or four o’clock, and then I’d swing by and get her. A child collecting another child, like, I don’t know if they’d let that kind of thing happen anymore, but it was a small family run childminders, the kind of lawless place where they have this one old granny looking after about twelve children in her house and everything and anything goes. My mom used to come home and cook dinner for a while, but she was delighted when I got old enough to do that for her too. It meant she could stay out of the house for longer and do whatever she used to do. Have affairs or whatever.” He huffs out a laugh. “I mean, I really don’t know if that was ever the case but I wouldn’t be that surprised. Everything got really confined because of Ivy, you know? I always had to be home, and helping, and collecting and living my life on this schedule while all the other teenagers were just being blissfully selfish and… just teenagers.”

“But you had time to yourself, surely?”

“Yeah, at night when my parents were finally home from work, but I mean, yeah, it wasn’t about not having time to do hobbies or hang out with my friends, it was about having to do it at all. It was about having to consider those things. Nobody should have to parent their siblings, it was really stifling and really unfair. If my parents wanted another child then they should have been prepared to take care of her. You can’t just offload that responsibility onto the older child. I resented it, and I still do.”

I spear my fingers into the side of his hair and run my hand down the back of his head. “That’s why you went to Berlin.” 

“I just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have ever had to.”

“Right.” He hesitates and his teeth rake over his lower lip, pulling the skin until it’s taut and white. “I just feel like going to Berlin was the most selfish thing I could have possibly done though.”

“No way.” I say. “It forced your parents to do what they should have been doing all along, and look after your sister.” 

“Yeah but it didn’t really do that. I look at Ivy now, and she’s doing a lot of those things I used to do for her all on her own. My parents never stepped up like I hoped they would, so she’s just becoming another teenager with too many responsibilities, and parents that will divorce as soon as they can and leave her without a solid base to come home to when she’s in college. And then, you know, on the other hand I think about Jen, and how bad everything has become for her and I know that if I’d stayed, and if I’d been here for her then maybe I could have-”

“It’s no use thinking that, Jude. You had to be on your own for once. You can’t hold up the whole world on your shoulders.”

“I’m selfish.” His voice is acidic, and the moment I feel his fingers loosen on me I grab a hold of his sleeve, because all of a sudden it feels vitally important to keep a connection between us.

“You didn’t get a proper childhood. I’d be even more selfish if I were you. You need to be doing the things that you want to do, seeing the world, partying with your friends, all of that stuff that you’ve been doing for the last four years. It’s all food for your soul.” 

“You’re too forgiving of me. It’s okay to say that I’ve been generally inconsiderate.”

“You’re way too hard on yourself.” I say quietly. “And you know that’s not true. You’re a good person, and you were always so nice to me, even when I was quiet and shy. You made an effort to talk to me at that time that Jen invited me to that modern art exhibition in Dublin, and you made me feel so included and asked so many questions about me even though I felt so nervous around you both.”

“I feel like that’s the least anyone could have done.” He says sulkily, as though he doesn’t really feel like being talked out of his mood. “The more I dwell on it the more I think there is something seriously wrong with me. Something that should have been figured out a lot earlier, but like, here I am, a twenty two year old, in the final months of my final year at college and I feel a bit… I dunno, lost, or something. I’m floundering, and I don’t really know who I am anymore. I swore I had it figured out at eighteen but now that seems laughable to me.”

“Nobody tells you how weird it is to be in your twenties.” I declare. “They insist that it’s amazing and fun and you’ll have all of this independence, but actually it feels strange and vulnerable, and there’s no rule book about how to navigate your way through it. One day you’re a stupid teenager and the next you live on your own and you have to know how to use the city bus and remember the pin of a debit card.”

“Yeah.” 

“It’s alright that you find it hard, is all I’m saying, and I for one, feel like I truly knew nothing about being an adult. To be honest sometimes I get a bit freaked out by how lost I feel. But then I try not to think about it, and I just go on with my day.”

“That’s your advice?” He says, with the hint of a smile threatening to crack through the gloom. “Just don’t think about it?”

“Probably shouldn’t be, should it?”

“I think that’s terrible advice, Evie.”

“Well that’s all I have for you.”

He leans into me and lightly kisses my jaw before going back to his food, and the featherlight touch of his lips sends shivers right down to my toes. “Well I think we should think about hard things.” He says. “I think that ignoring them only gives them more power, actually.”

“Maybe some things aren’t meant to be processed now. They’re meant for later.”

“How much later?”

“I don’t know. Just later.” I push the last of my dinner onto my fork and into my mouth and try not to feel self-conscious about the fact that he’s watching me like I’m under a spotlight. 

“I just want you to know that if you ever wanted to talk to me about any of the things that happened you in first year then-”

My chair makes a hideous scraping noise against the parquet floor. “Do you have any pictures of you when you were small?” I say, wiping my hands on the thighs of my jeans, and he blinks. “Um. Why?”

“Just when we were talking about your childhood, like,” I stack his empty plate on top of mine. “I was wondering to myself what you might have looked like as a little boy. That’s all.”

“There are some, somewhere yeah. I can root them out if you want.”

“I’d love that, would you mind?” I hastily pack things away in the dishwasher, and I put the plates in crookedly, and I can’t find where the cutlery goes, and Jude is there, and he takes the forks out of my hands and gingerly places them into the sink. 

“It’s fine. Leave it.” He says. “Come into the living room, I’ll get the baby photos out.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3

[cpunkhobie]

i need you to understand that the sweets are only as a reward thing parents do is straight up fatphobic propaganda. food is food and there is no such thing as evil food

I understand that but too much sugar and unhealthy food at a Young Age can seriously fuck up your health and I know that cause it happened 2 me. My parents weren’t cautious with what they put into my body as a very little kid and onwards so my overall relationship with food and the way my body works is Fucked. I don’t think that’s what’s happening here, but I can see why a parent would try to avoid that. Again, ESPECIALLY if their child has allergies and needs to watch what food their kid is eating

“Bad food” and “junk food” is Bullshit, but certain foods make you feel better than others, both in the long and short term. And are better for your body’s health in the long term. And ignoring that is negligent to ur body’s health, and as a parent to your child’s health.

I was mostly responding to people calling the mom controlling when that isn’t the case since the child is 4 yrs old and again there are a million different reasons why what the asker talked abt could be an issue. Also, 9/10 a parent saying “sweets are treats” isn’t so their kid isn’t fat. It’s because they want their child to be eating healthy regardless of weight. “Sweets are for treats” is a parenting tactic for 2 things 1.) it’s easier to explain to a toddler than “eat sugar in moderation.” 2.) as a reward for good behavior or other milestones or celebrations

Do I think it’s a good parenting tactic? No. But ultimately that’s up to the parent to sort out. And giving a child sweets without asking the parents first is circumventing the parenting.* Which is why I think the mom would be peeved more than anything else. I just didn’t like people making assumptions abt the moms character so I just butted into the conversation for a second

As someone who DID later grow up with parents who were controlling about my diet and body seeing people put those accusations on someone rlly ticked me off. Sorry if I’m being really extra here the discussion around food parenting n fatphobia is a convo a little too close to my heart 😭 so idt im gonna be talking abt it anymore past this

*again, don’t personally agree with this attitude but i understand why someone would at least be irritated

#obligatory any frustration isn’t targeted at the asker but the conversation etc #jonahs lemonade stand #anyways this a.) a very slippery slope to go down and b.) getting off topic from the original ask which my rb was already doing so let’s cut #this conversation here haha #also I do not think you are using the word propaganda correctly at all #like that’s at best a stretch and at worst a gross misusage #but I see where you’re coming from

[cjbolan]

 Just finished Chapter 1 of Emily Windsnap and the Tides of Time. My thoughts so far...

I feel you, Emily. I’m sad too that your adventures are probably over.

Liz Kessler throws MAJOR shade at teachers XD. Perhaps she’s writing from personal experience. I literally laughed at some of the descriptions of Emily’s teacher. Particularly this line:

“’Succinctly as always, Aiden,’ Mrs. Porter said, in that special sarcastic way that teachers must learn at college, as they all do it.”

As a former student teacher, I can confirm she’s absolutely right.

This opening is like a clever inverse version of the first book’s opening. Both open with Emily at home in Brightport having a conversation with her mom, before going to school.Except where the first book opened with them having an argument, this last book opens with them being much friendlier with each other. Shows how far their relationship has come. I love that!

There’s also shades of Book 3 that I liked. It again opens with Emily going to school, and Emily afraid of a relationship ending. In Book 3 it was her parents’ marriage, here it’s her renewed friendship with Mandy. I do like the idea that for once, maybe it’s Emily’s own fault that she feels alone, for not being a good listener to her friend. 

I love the emphasis that being yourself is much easier said than done. IRL people say all the time that they don’t care what people think or that they’ll do whatever they want, then quickly give up doing exactly that. This isn’t always a bad thing, and heavily dependent on your situation. It makes perfect sense in Emily’s case where she now has 0 friends in school and possible enemies.  (SIDE NOTE: I do relate hard to Emily in this case. At her age, for a time I had only 1 real friend. We’re still friends now ^_^. )

YAAAAAY MORE RETCONNING *sarcasm*. Seems like Emily is attending only human school. What happened to her splitting her time between human and mermaid school? Wasn’t her school situation a huge looming conflict for about half the series? It was a huge point of conflict for her parents who fought each other about where she should spend more time, to the point it made Emily fear they would split up. If she were still attending Shiprock School, she probably  wouldn’t miss the sea and Shona so much because she could still enjoy those every day. I know Emily's feeling lonely because of Aaron and Mandy, but still...either Emily’s being overdramatic, or she really did quit mermaid school for some reason.

Jake again raises so many questions. We know he eats human food, so can all merpeople eat human food? Or is Jake the only one because he’s lived with humans and got used to it? What do you think his first time tasting human food would’ve been like? That breakfast table is way above water level so... does her ever eat with his family?  It’d be really sad if he couldn’t. Does he have a floating pool table? Does he eat off the floor? Would his family ever eat off the floor with him? Is there any way he could have a wheelchair or kiddie pool for him at the table?  For a mixed human-merperson family who actively brought together the two species, how on earth would they host both species in a place designed by and for humans only? Trap door aside, the merpeople who do visit are just trapped in that tiny bit of water, and the humans make 0 attempt to bring their activities closer to the water for merpeople to join them. And Jake is often described looking upward at people in that boat...he must have the worst neck pain ever. He deserves a nice neck pillow. Or maybe a neck massage XD.

But seriously, this is one reason Jake is one of my favorite characters. He  raises so many fascinating questions about the worldbuilding.

Funny I have a rock that looks just like Emily’s! Minus 2 stripes...

Well, gonna keep on reading!

#so far so good #emily windsnap #emily windsnap and the tides of time #liz kessler #mermaid #middle grade fiction #middle grade series #middle grade books

[runthepockets]

When I was a little boy, in 2nd or 3rd grade, my mom dragged me to the bathroom of a department store after refusing 4 times in a row to walk any further than we already had. She smacked me upside the head and on my rear till I cried. "You will not fucking embarrass me, not with all these people out here. You will not fucking embarrass me, [DEADNAME]. Apologize for causing a scene." I was in shambles. It was only once so I don't hold it against her, but the way human minds work means I'll never forget, even though I forgive.

I was 11 when I discovered Eminem. I clicked on the song "My Mom", expecting some kind of R&B anthem to motherhood like most rappers. Instead it was the opposite. 5 minutes of a fully grown man putting his mom on blast for being terrible and making him the way he was; 5 minutes of a fully grown man trying to heal the little 8 year old boy still tucked away in his psyche, following him after every woman he'd beaten and every bottle he'd topped off.

As a preteen I was very prone to fighting. I understood dishonesty at the age of 7, I had identity issues until the age of 24. As an adult I have a very intense relationship with alcohol and feel an urge to be in control of every aspect of my life in a way that simply isn't realistic, and is dulled by prescriptions to Testosterone and Fluoxetine; never cured, just dulled, and easier to deal with every day. I rarely, if ever, act on these urges; I know the effect they'll have on the people I love.

I'm 24 now. I have a nice life; a nice job, cool friends, a roommate who I consider family, hobbies that empower me, and every day I find reasons to live in something as simple as a bashful 4 year old hiding behind his mother when she asks him to tell the retail clerk thank you for giving him the free stickers, or the 16 year old girl giggling over a Tiktok with her friends. My go to artist now when I think too hard about my mother is A Perfect Circle. Nevertheless, when I'm drunk, I still listen to that song. The lines "My mom, loves valium, and lots of drugs, that's why I am, why I am, cus I'm my mom!" and "What kinda mother would want to see her son grow up to be an under-fuckin-achiever" live rent free in my mind. Though I'm not quite a drug addict, and though my mother never poisoned my food, I have been hit. I have been berated and shamed and treated lower than a stray dog, and I have felt the urge to make others suffer for my misfortune. Unlike Marshall Mathers, I never act on these feelings. Unlike Marshall Mathers, I have a lot of sympathy for my mother even in the face of all the hatred; but similarly to him, I cannot fucking stand her. There are times when I fantasize about showing up dressed up to her funeral, as any son would for his mother, and ripping loose, exposing her entire history and flipping the bird toward her casket while I laugh in her face. I'm not proud of these fantasies, but child psychology 101 will tell you this is to be expected. Maybe this is why I sometimes ruminate in my childhood admiration for that deeply sick, broken man--- maybe his twisted, tragic narrative spoke truth to mine.

I was 23 last year. In the midst of the Breaking Bad renaissance, I was seeing a lot of memes about how Jesse Pinkman-- the sensitive, affectionate man who shrouds his feelings in a façade of working class toughness and tribal tattoos and Sapphire Longue Hoodies and oversized Roca wear Jeans, because anything less is considered fraudelent in the violent, ambitious, and chaotic world of drug dealing-- effeminate, if you will-- is an oafish trans man who rocks with Eminem. I know most of these posts are jokes at the deprecating expense of a fictional character, but they still make my heart swell.

#just me shit #gender diaries

[tarotwithdanise]

Get to know more, Danise's.

Spend some of your free your time by reading the details & facts about me!

꒰ about me.

Danise. 9teen. asian baby. pronouns are she/they. life path number is 8. literal lovebot. tarot enthusiast. mbti personality is infj - a.

My name is Danise a mixed name from my given name "Danielle Serene". Yeah, that's my biological name, i just felt that's a very ugly name, it's very odd from other people or girls that is around my age. I mean who would like to name your child like this? Unless you were my Mom. It seems like it came from a book character lol.

Has a habit of rbf that's why people first impression and perceive me someone who is cold, snobbish, cruel, mean and quiet. but the quiet one is the only legit, lmao. However, if you will really get to know me more and we've become more close. I am someone who is funny and likes to joke around, this part that only introverted people knows and can relate about what i am writing here.

꒰ byi

I don't frequently post anymore since i am that person who have a very busy lifestyle now not unlike before. However, i'm glad you've found my account. You have free access 24/7 in my account, so you can read them silently without even interacting to me.

꒰ dni

If you are someone who likes to spread hate and negativity on other people please kindly don't interact with me. It's not only affecting me but the people who truly love my works as well my mutual bf's. I believe, we all have different views and perspectives, hate me as long as you want. Who am i to dictate your feelings and tl stop hating me right? It's your feelings feel free to feel what you wanted to feel about me. But if you hate or dislike me just kindly don't engage with me anymore so you won't see my posts, that's just very simple to do right? We experiencing lots of pains so please be kind with your words when it comes to others, we are fragile humans. Call me oa or whatever but one hurtful word has a strong effect into someone else daily life, believe me.

꒰ likes to do.

Reading Books - Watching Yt ASMR videos / Kpop Related Shorts - Painting - Watching Animes - Eating - Calligraphy Lettering - Journaling - Listening To Songs And Podcasts - Reading Tarot And Oracle - Studying something - and My new like to do is reading article news.(idk, maybe adulthood things.)

꒰ dislikes.

Fake people ( duh! i really hate the idea of the being plastic and bad to others.) Being rude to other person without any valid reasons. Spreading negativity that can affect others or harm others in general. Ruining someone reputation because of jealousy.

꒰ favorites

Colors : green, brown, neutral and pastels ones. More into green.

Anything sweet. I am a sweet tooth person. I don't like spicy foods either.

Drinks : coffee & water.

Singers/ musician / artist : anything about kpop, jpop, taylor swift, lana del rey, melanie martinez and little mix. 🫶

◠⋆i. kpop groups i stan

%!old and new : twice, bts, red velvet, mamamoo, blackpink, txt, stray kids, seventeen, itzy, enhyphen, le sserafim, nmixx, aespa, stayc, g-idle.

◠⋆ii. my favorite era of little mix vs favorite album.

%! this is hard but, my favorite era was power era and so the best album belongs to LM5. I love all of their album btw.

[ 5. ] In love the ideas of greek mythology, moon, stars, night, darkness, rain, medical, god, angels, clouds, heaven, worshipping, being kind to others, writing, intuitive, tarot, cooking, baking, astrology, playing guitar, going to church, playing chess, surfboarding, taking swimming lessons, skating, driving late night, counting how many hours will i going to sleep before going to sleep, riding a horse, helping others, future, praying before going to sleep and after waking up, being in love but don't want to be in a relationship, singing, psychology, being alone, dyeing hair, big shirts,success, staying late at night, ballet dancer, learning basketball, playing golf and bowling, maturing, growing up, peaceful & quite places.

꒰ hidden talents.

my hidden talents should be kept hidden.

꒰ skin care routine

new skin cares unlocked version.

peace of mind - 8 hours of sleep - washing your face ; morning and night - using the ordinary glycolic acid 4x a week.

꒰ others.

danise's current motto

"sometimes our great efforts will bring us more rewards."

꒰ best song motivation for me.

looking for you by kirk franklin.

STAY HEALTHY AND SAFE. ALSO DON'T FORGET TO BE KIND TO OTHERS, GIVE AND YOU WILL RECEIVE!!

꒰ do you experiences something bad about your mental health?

I don't intend to harm or hurt your feelings with any of my pac works. Perhaps, I understand that not everyone experiencing the same warning signs of depression and other mental health related. If you think you have one i suggest you to rely on a mental health professional — so assess your own risk. You may view the findahelpline.com website for suicide prevention and crisis support helpline, It's free and available worldwide! If you are shy, my ask box or dm is open. I'm not really good about uplifting someone else mood but I'll try my best to understand your situation so please don't be afraid to talk about your problems, I'm all ears for you if no else did.

— 🦢 ꒰ danise update's [ 03/20/2023. ]

ʚ oopsie you already reached the end. ɞ

#for you #spotify #moodboard #me page #about me page #tarot reader #Spotify

[seancamerons]

i wanna make mbs for my fics lol like locations like i have this whole vision of how i think these places look like. ask me about any of these places i make up and have fun with what i have in mind. :)

lana's or known as lana's restaraunt a fancy pink designer boutique parisian provincial vibes and aesthetics, like it looks like a dupe versailles, with columns, statuettes and more. white gold pink as the main color palette the details are what is its major draw. the overall vibe is elegant and classic styles, it would totally have a beautiful logo of gold and baby pink with white accident - dainty looking with a lovely louise fili design aesthetic vibe designwise). the prices are high and is featured in backtrack.

another one is, the ravine itself. although its a canon location and has been featured through the years that could be fun. so scandalous and how good it feels to be bad, conveying that through imagery. i imagine the grounds by the firepits filled with charred logs. the van smelling like weed and gasoline in the summer heat, mosquitos and flies from open containers of food along with the skunky musks of the weed, the smell of cheap keystone light and other cheap beers for the underage who bribe some poor young adults into purchasing some alcohol for them, sometimes they're wanting to relive their glory days have an anon drinking party with guys with random girls, who knows. what a mess, it'd be a gritty vibe for sure. seedy and somewhat morally deviant, but also an entertaining party spot, very 2000s and 2010s flashbacks there.

its so intriguing though and an ambitious project the ravine is to incorporate in my writing. the ravine is featured a lot in faking it but mostly in together forever.

antonio's is another in-universe spot. where jimmy in season 1's coming of age briefly mentioned ordering some pizza for himself after his bday plans with ashley faded out.

it's where sean and emma get their double cheese pizza pies. i assume that's what it meant, they likely went there it's doubtful they didn't go to a chain. the vibe is strictly homemade, hometown mom-and-pop, also like a traditional parlor maybe even dated paneling like stained a chesnut with the checkerboard tables but still nice just retro. for instance another decor like those weird tiffany 80s looking chandeliers for lighting, like its giving pizza hut in the 1990s just family-owned.

i imagine jimmy was a frequent delivery or carryout customer. i could see young spin and jimmy pre-dot circa season 1 or 2, heading over to a pizza place after heading to novak's or the other drug and convenience stores passing the time on the main stretch of streets by school in town. i imagine the reason why the community school was named because the street they hang on is degrassi street, hence that is the idea i get.

wasaga beach, yet another location that i tend to love using in my writing. while in other teen dramas there were lots of locations in and out of town that were intriguing. in s4's back in black we finally see wasaga beach. I'm less sure if its real but i looked it up and it was once and it was sean's hometown. it comes up casually or not so casually in my fics that typically discuss sean or concern or center on sean or sean in relationships such as with ellie and emma, less may ut she conditionally comes up since he dated amy after emma and so on. okay, but i make it seem like an area close to me. hear me me out.

so in most of my fics he's either back recently from wasaga or back from the military after his stint in wasaga and or while he was staying there and leading up to his return, or lastly it's set before departure where wasaga is in the past and not considered, he wasn't ready to go back yet.

anyway, wildwood nj is my favorite place to be and it's reminiscent of a place that is DEAD outside of summer. it's a city by the beach there's a north wildwood and a south.

most people know about atlantic city with the casinos and beaches, an older boardwalk than all of them, and Ocean city course families frequent typically anyway because it's a dry town at Ocean City (not to be confused with ocean city, maryland but there's good and bad on both parts. oh and there's a famous boardwalk, both AC and Ocean City have famous boardwalks, but Wildwood is my favorite it's like 2 miles long and a lot of fun. Something for everybody. lots of funnel cakes on the pier, looking like the sometimes video by britney spears from 1999 but perpetually fun and whimsical, like a big carnival, my dream date.

in faking it it's pretty prominently featured and referenced.

#art #degrassi #writing #writing tag #semma #sean cameron #emma nelson #emjay #jay hogart #jemma #moodboards #moods #mbs #fanfiction #fic #degrassific #ficedit #aesthetic #aes

[aro-culture-is]

I accepted my asexuality pretty quickly. The country i live in sees the topic of sex as taboo and its never talked about. NEVER. Its toxic and bad but meh, its the culture. Maybe the reason i never had a problem with it was becauss im asexual.

But realising i might be aro is not. Im struggling with internalized arophobia. Im having identity crisis and existential crisis. And ive heard being aro/ace can be due to trauma? Is that real? Because if it is, lots of things start to make sense about me. Aplatonic aros? Is that a thing too? Ive always felt unfit. Never wanted a friend but seeing everyone in a group or with someone made me feel unworthy and broken from a young age. I don't want a traditional family and i feel like the one i currently am in would've gotten rid of me a long time ago if they could. My dad never kept it a secret how he disliked us, i know my mom sees me as a failure even tho she reassures me, and my brother's world is totally different from me. The few friends i managed to keep throughout the years either gotten on with their lives or found better people. What's the point of living then? Am i even human? How are other aros doing it? Am i aro or just a really shitty person who lost faith in love a long time ago? I need help

hi,

for one, yes - being a-spec can be due to trauma. There's even a microlabel for being aro (caedromantic) or ace (caedsexual) due to trauma.

aplatonic (apl) aros are absolutely a thing!

I'm so very sorry that you've had such a terrible experience with your family. Coming from an emotionally abusive household, I know how much it can completely change how you interact with others. If it is available and mental health services are okay in your country, I'd really recommend seeing a therapist. Even if you don't discuss aromanticism, asexuality, or aplatonicism, it's worth discussing with a professional about the ways you have been affected by the trauma of a family that never seems to accept you.

speaking again as a traumatized individual - as i've worked on my mental health, accepting my trauma, and moving forwards from my trauma, I personally have only grown more capable of accepting myself as aromantic and aplatonic-spectrum. I've learned that my life is my own; I can define what makes me happy in life and seek that, even if others will never understand.

I don't enjoy romantic relationships or living with others - so for me, my ideal future involves planning around living alone and what makes me happiest within that framework. I've considered that I do still get lonely, and that I'd love to have a cat - probably two, since some research seems to indicate cats generally are better adjusted when there are two.

I've thought about how I use my time - I'm disabled and in literal, full-body physical pain 24/7. Going places is an activity that requires me to plan recovery time, so I work especially hard to make my daily living comfortable. I'm currently working on finding little ways to make my life easier - putting meds, food, and water within easy reach of my bed and desk, for example - and learning to allow myself to enjoy those little things.

There's a certain amount of childish glee I'm learning to allow myself to enjoy from small activities. Those, for me, are a primary set of reasons to live. I enjoy my lotions, I eat breakfast for every meal, I lipsync in my bathroom mirror and giggle at my expressions. I learn to live as myself and I learn to see the small joys in it.

This isn't to suggest you aren't trying hard enough to find those joys! I don't think I truly could have done this without anti-depressants, therapy, and supportive friends (friendship is... complicated for me). You will have your own path forwards. I promise that with time and practice, things get better. It's rarely a sudden moment of change. It's often a sensation of taking a deep breath, saying to yourself "I am allowed to feel this way, and I am allowed to do what helps me feel better", and learning to comfort yourself. It's like seeing an echo of your younger self desperately trying not to cry, and realizing that they still exist within you, and you are now also the adult comforting that child, parenting yourself through things your parents never prepared you for.

I really, really hope things improve for you. You deserve to enjoy life. You deserve to not hurt.

#Anonymous #not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #apl #ask #mod alexander #suicidal ideation cw #suicide cw #internalized arophobia cw #internalized apl antagonism cw #abuse cw #ask to tag #if there are more cw/tw tags you'd like #this is... rough #i really feel for anon #if anyone can provide additional comments please do so

[marysunshine23]

I tried to copy the art style ;w; I really did.

Relationship Explanation Going Clockwise

Riddle: Camilla is very empathetic with Riddle’s situation with his mom, since she’s in a fairly locked in lifestyle as well. She often makes him sweets and has tea with him just to let him gripe and groan about anything. It’s pretty fun for both of them.

Ace: Camilla feels like Ace and Deuce are the brothers she never got, and she enjoys the havoc they can reap onto everyone. But over all, it’s just kinda nice to hang out with people her own age.

Deuce: Camilla feels like Ace and Deuce are the brothers she never got, but specifically she feels like Deuce is the younger brother she never had. It’s sort of therapeutic for the both of them to figure out how to basically start their lives from scratch.

Cater: Camilla and Cater are very much the “we’re friends because our friends are friends with them”. While they don’t actively hang out alone with each other, they enjoy each other’s company when they’re doing a group outing.

Trey: Camilla is friendly with Trey in passing, but he’s not really someone she’d actively seek out to spend time with. He’s nice enough though.

Leona: He’s... fine? Another person Camilla wouldn’t actively seek out since he seems to be in a bad mood a lot of the time. Though he’s good for griping about irritants that only royals understand.

Jack: If anyone is going to keep Camilla fitting into her ball gowns, it’s Jack. The two often hang out to go on jogs and hikes and talk about nothing and everything.

Ruggie: Again, he’s fine. He’s good to keep in mind for getting things that Camilla might want, in exchange for cash or food of course. But besides that they don’t really hang out.

Azul: Not only does Camilla not seek him out, but she actively avoids him. She believes whole heartedly that he is the epitome of the saying, “Life is pain; if anyone is telling you otherwise they’re probably trying to sell you something.”

Floyd: Another “friends because your friends with my friend”. Since he’s besties with her other princess friend, they often work together to encourage her to be more reckless. They also would both fight whoever tries to hurt their friend.

Jade: Besides hanging out with his brother, Camilla doesn’t really have a reason to actively seek Jade out. She’s one of the few people who are detail oriented enough to tell the twins apart.

Kalim: BEST. FRIENDS. FOREVER. They are chaos together, always hyping each other up and coming up with plans that Jamil would rather they not come up with. Once Camilla becomes queen, she plans on giving the Al-Asim family privileges in her home country to boost the economy.

Jamil: Yet another “friends because your friends with my friend”, despite Jamil insisting he’s not friends with Kalim. Though, to be fair, she does take his words of advice seriously. She likes dancing and cooking with him, and she has stated that if he needs to vent, she’ll listen; but he hasn’t taken her up on that.

Vil: Honestly? She has no relationship with him. They haven’t really talked and it seems like Vil avoids Camilla.

Epel: Surprisingly, another work out partner. While they do some Pomefiore approved stuff like ballet, they also go on jogs, hikes, and even push ups and pull ups together. Epel feels better around Camilla since she’s very much girlier than he is, so hanging out with her makes him feel more like the manly man he wants to be.

Rook: He’s kinda creepy in Camilla’s eyes. She has respect for someone else who doesn’t panic or get anxious in scary situations, but his flirty personality is a bit... much...

Idia: He’s her princess friend’s love interest, so of course they have to be friends. He supplies her with the game consoles and games that she couldn’t get at home, and in exchange she gives him eloquence lessons. She wants this relationship to work after all.

Ortho: Surprisingly, they’re not just friends because of his brother. The two of them are naturally compassionate people who tend to worry about their loved ones, and they usually spend time talking about stuff they did with their friends and family.

Malleus: Camilla does not call him Thornton or Tsunotaru, she calls him ‘tall fae friend’. That is until Lilia corrects her. They usually talk about life and the universe and stuff that Malleus doesn’t understand.

Lilia: The moment Camilla saw Lilia floating upside-down, she pleaded for uppies and practically crawled onto him. Even before they started dating, they were very cuddly after that. She has no reason to believe Lilia is lying about his age or what he’s done, despite the fact that it makes her look gullible. If Camilla had it her way, she’d skip out on marrying a prince and stick with her adorable fae grandpa boyfriend.

Silver: Yet another friend of a friend. She likes Silver, even though the idea of her dating his father kinda grosses him out; considering Camilla is younger than Silver. But they still have fun together.

Sebek: He is very not happy with Camilla dating Lilia; how dare some common human pursue such an amazing fae like Master Lilia?! But then he remembers that Lilia asked Camilla out, not the other way around. Camilla is nice to Sebek and even teases him, and Sebek... tolerates her.

#twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland relationships #riddle rosehearts #ace trappola #deuce spade #cater diamond #trey clover #leona kingscholar #jack howl #ruggie bucchi #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #epel felmier #rook hunt #idia shoud #othro shroud #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland silver #sebek zigvolt #lilia vanrouge

[hazzascul]

TW: mentions of the word fat, fatphobia, mentions of self harm (sh).

I have a toxic relationship with food.

I was in denial about it for a very long time but I've decided it's about time that I admit it without any ounce of shame, so I can move on and better myself.

I come from a family of fat (I'm not using alternate words coz I think it's unnecessary) people. Right from my great-grandparents, my family had always been overweight. Naturally, so have I.

It's not like I was a lazy child, I used to go to sports for 2 hours per day and plus used to (still do) practice classical dances, both of which require hefty amounts of energy. It was definitely not easy. My mom introduced me to it, not because it was her passion or anything, but because she thought I was overweight. I wasn't.

I was a scrawny kid, with barely any mass on my bones, but ofc baby fat was a thing and it seemed like it never went away for me. So from a very young age, I was forced into sports and was told that it was because I needed to lose weight, not to be healthy.

Since then, I've hated exercise. Of course I did, because the intention of doing it was not right.

Food was and has been my comfort ever since. It has been my entertainment, my fav pass time and I just overall love eating. I'm a proper foody.

But just like cigs, pot, drugs and alcohol, food can be an addiction too. I realised that very recently.

Yk that feeling, when people told you to not do something and you did exactly just that? Yup. My mom told me not to eat much food and I did the exact opposite. Out of spite.

What wasn't a problem before, became a problem now just because of that. I gained way too much weight for my height. I was bullied at school for it. I lost the will to exercise because it was forced. I lost the countable friends I had at the time because people are stupid.

At home, it was even more toxic. I was young and I didn't really understand the intentions of my mom, but I grew apart from her. I used to steal money to buy junk food.

I think I have mommy issues (severe) but that's for another time.

My relationship with food and exercise turned more and more bad. I ate out all the time because I couldn't at home and even tho I was doing a lot of exercise, I guess the junk just overpowered it and I continued to gain weight.

I really really struggled (I still very much do) that I had to be different from people my age. That they could eat just as much as me and wouldn't gain shit. That was also one of the reasons why I ate out all the time. It was with these fake friends that didn't really care about me. I trailed around them like a lost puppy, it was pathetic really.

It was so so unfair that I had to stop myself from eating fancy, yummy stuff and eat veggies instead. I hated the fact that I had to spend my evenings exercising when my friends would go hang out (my mom didn't allow me to bunk).

I was too young. Still am, I think. It was hard.

Then lockdown came and everything stopped. I got into yoga and I genuinely liked doing it, but it doesn't really help with weight loss, it's a very slow process. Those two years I stayed at home, I gained over almost 15 kg.

I was put on strict diets, at times, all I had in a day was coconut water. I was forced to go out of my way to cut myself mountains of salad and eat that much without complaining. I couldn't go out and it worsened. I was depressed during that time. I didn't / couldn't focus on studies, I was always thinking about my weight and I was addicted to reading books. So that's all I did.

My academic performance was way too severely hampered because of it. Everything was closing down on me and during my worst time, I sh-ed.

I'm ashamed of it. I thought I was stronger. It made me feel worse than I'd ever done before. I was spiraling down a rabbit hole and I didn't know how deep it was.

I've been clean for a good amount of time now, but I feel it creeping up again.

I'm in a transition phase of my life and it's catching up to me. I've been binging again and my thoughts seem to be getting darker everyday. It's so much harder to not sh again.

Fortunately, over the years, I have somewhat learned how to control my diets without going crazy about them and have actually kind of fixed my relationship with exercise. I walk at least 5km everyday without fail. I've learned how to control myself and my body.

I've learned so much about myself through it and that's the only good outcome of it.

I thought speaking here will help and it kind of is. I'm an empath and I like to help people. It brings me satisfaction knowing people feel better because of me.

I'm working on bettering myself. To be healthy.

Nowadays, the internet has over generalised having/ being massively over weight or obese. I genuinely think we should promote and push people to keep a healthy weight required for their health. I get that it's not that simple and it's a very sensitive topic for everyone.

One thing is sure:

No one should be bullied for being overweight. They can't always help it. You don't know how far they've come or what their mental health.

Sometimes, your words could cause more harm than you could've ever imagined.

I'm here so by sharing my story, you can feel somewhat heard and seen. You're not alone. I know how it feels.

If you ever wanna talk, I'm here.

I love you, if you haven't heard it in a while.

You're worth it and nothing is worth hurting yourself for. I understood it the hard way. Pls don't make the same mistakes I did.

If you like me, live in an environment where therapy and/ or counseling is looked upon, talk to me. Or anyone. But talk because it helps tremendously.

My best friend came into my life at a crucial time, which couldn't be more perfect. She has helped in so many ways, she doesn't even know and I don't know how to put it into words.

I'll be your best friend like mine is for me. I'll listen to you rant.

I love you, I'm here.

Sleep tight, good night❤️

--

Remember that these are my opinions and I never mean to offend anyone, I'm just trying to help myself and others, I hope you can understand.

#mental health #positive mental attitude #fat #fatphobia #mommy issues #self h@rm #self care #self love #self healing #i love you #addiction #food #food addiction

[decoloraa]

Casther occasionally gets described as a "man in a child's body" which references his tendency to joking around a lot and refusing to be too serious at times. It's easy to write him off as someone who failed to grow up, but it's the complete opposite!

From early age on, he was forced to grow up fast: His mother got ill when he was still a child, which caused him to take on more responsibilities bit by bit. Then, when he ran away from his dad together with his younger brother, Casther had to take on the role of the caretaker. He had to protect them, provide them with food and raise his younger brother.

While Casther had some rather peaceful years in his childhood, he quickly had to become mature. He was basically robbed from his teens, which is a big part in life where it's okay to be irresponsible, to chase after fun.

At Briggs he find himself in an (mostly) safe and structured environment, but also ends up being a place where he can trust other people. He didn’t have that for over a decade, he and always fought to survive day after day.

Sure, he has responsibilities too and he IS capableof being serious, but there are moments where he can let his guard down. With the save environment and save relationships he can allow himself to goof around and be silly.

So his childish tendencies are just him feeling save enough to let go and doing things he wasn't allowed to in his childhood.

It doesn't mean he's not able to be serious and responsible! Casther is very good at determining wheter a situation is critical or if it's a bad time for humor. He'd never do something that's reckless and endangers others. (Doesn't mean some of his shenanigans go differently than he planned..)

Val understands this and knows that he's just trying to catch up on some experiences (even if it's mostoy subconsciously). So whenever he gets wind of one of Casther's pranks, he let's him do it. It's about letting Casther's inner child roam free, but at the same time about him having to learn consequences. When Casther messes up (because instead of annoying Miles he pissed off Olivier), Val says "that's your problem". But not because he doesn't care. Val knows that he can't save Casther from learning things like this, and he refuses to be take on a parental role.

Val basically says "We're in a relationship, I am NOT your mom. I'm not gonna run after you so you don't hit your head." And he also knows that Casther wouldn't do something real endangering (and if he did, Val would intervene).

Not the biggest fan of ships where one person is responsible and reasonable and the other one is kinda like their grown-up kid. Not the most healthiest dynamics in my opinion 🫡 (or it CAN become a bit icky) That's why I'll never write Val going "Omg he did what?? I have to run to him and look if it's alright". Val being like "He did what? Is someone hurt? No? Then it sounds like it's not my problem" is far more funnier.

#realized some things about this and wanted to write it down #Casther being chaotic is just a sign of him feeling save and not threatened #kinda like a dog that starts to do zoomies bc they're a sign he feels save in his environment #who knows maybe that's exactly how Val treats Casther's antics #'yeah you just do that' #oc rambles #oc casther wilk #decoloraa talks

[babydollmarauders]

MOM BIG NEWS BIG NEWS!!!

trigger warning: talk of weight and weight loss( but in a good way?)

I've always had a bad relationship with food and I've always been dangerously over weight especially for my age. I've been trying to lose weight for health reasons but it's always been hard as my parents keep the house stocked with junk food. since I moved to college I've started taking my health really seriously. ya know so I don't have a heart attack at 19. I thought nothing was working and if anything I've been gaining weight but the last time my mom came to visit she asked if I LOST weight because my pants were slipping off my hips. this is HUGE for me, I'm so excited ☺️

I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

i’m proud of you! if you’re excited then i’m excited!! 🫶🏻

#faithlynn speaks 🪐 #ask faithlynn ✨

[sheldoney]

Sheldon's relationship with his family if he has them?

I AM NOT GOING BY YOUNG SHELDON CANON/THIS IS BIG BANG THEORY CANON ONLY AND MY OWN PERSONAL TWIST ON THE CHARACTER BECAUSE I DO NOT WISH TO WRITE WITH MINORS

PopPop: Sheldon Lee Cooper knew his grandpa until the age of 5 years old. His PopPop unfortunately passed away when he was a young child. He hates Christmas because of this. He asked Santa to bring him back one snowy December day at the mall and never got him back as a present on Christmas Day. This is why he harbors ill feelings towards his particular holiday. His grandpa always encouraged him to pursue science. His PopPop was adamant about that. He doesn't know much about him but his MeeMaw always spoke kind words of him and Sheldon knows that he loved him very much.

MeeMaw: Sheldon's MeeMaw is the center of his universe. They have a very close upbringing and it is very special (Even to this day) She calls him Moon Pie because he is so nummy nummy. She bakes him cookies and tells him stories of her own childhood and also stories of his PopPop.

George Sr: Sheldon's father was abusive and an alcoholic. This is why Sheldon does not like to drink alcohol. He was not close with Sheldon and the only memories he has is that his dad played football and before Sheldon was allowed to do his homework he had to watch football with him. He knows the game and is an idiot savant when it comes to football but the memories of his dad are not entirely pleasant. His father passed away when Sheldon graduated cum sum laude at the age of 15. All he remembers is his fights with Mary (Sheldon's mom) and that sometimes triggers bad memories and he can get....upset.

Mary: Sheldon's mom and he are very close. She was always supportive of him and his beautiful mind despite he was teased ALOT. She put food on the table and always put up with George when he put away a few too many drinks. She is Texan and a major Holy Roller born again Christian so she is tough as nails. She is supportive of Sheldon (Even though he believes in Evolution and is somewhat of an Athiest) She is still very much there for her son even to this day and has gotten him out of trouble quite a few times. Once she got his job back after Sheldon called his boss an idiot, blatantly.

Missy: Missy is Sheldon's twin sister and picked on Sheldon heavily. (Still does) She is tall just like him but isn't a genius. To quote Mary she was blessed with two other kids who were dumb as soup. Missy makes a lot of bad choices but Sheldon still loves her dearly. (Although he would never admit that)

George Jr: Sheldon's older brother would pick fights with Sheldon (for no reason sometimes) and he now owns a store in Texas called Dr. Tire. They are not very close.

#/Thanks for this! #(sheldony things.) #(headcanons.)