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zoeysdamn · 1 year

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Headcanon (crack): Wednesday’s characters being drunk

Don’t ask me why. @beggingforxavierthorpe and I talked and boom -- crack thoughts, you know the drill

Wednesday:

Doesn’t get drunk easily, is used to fancy wines from family dinners; it takes around a whole bottle to get her tipsy.

Prefers old age whisky (or nail polish remover)

Blunt af – even more than usual it is

But it also means blunting compliments

“Your dress is nicely complimenting your body, Enid”

“....I’m sorry wHAT– “

“I said what I said”

0 sense of danger

Like, none

Would accept any dare, I swear to god

“Hey Wednesday, bet you can’t walk barefoot on that electric line”

“Hold my beer–”

Probably confessed a hella lot of personal stuff to Thing without realizing it

(he’ll keep it to himself, he’s not suicidal)

If she tolerates a hug more than 5 seconds, she’s wasted

Enid:

Can hold her liquor for like three cups top – after that she’s a goner

Will deny she gets drunk

Switch between sad drunk, happy drunk, and cuddly drunk

Also will fight God in a fistfight on her 6th drink

Sad drunk Enid will cry her heart out and cuddle you over any random subject. Last episode of her favorite show? Yep. The caramel dessert at the cafeteria at lunch? Absolutely. Yoko wearing the same outfit as her at the last party? She’ll cry on your shoulder. Mommy issues? bOI bring the tissues.

Karaoke is a must do; don’t tempt her with a mic, you’ll have the full Taylor Swift discography blasted ‘til daylight

Came become suspicious of everyone on her top drunk state: she’ll be sure one of the guest is actually principal Weems in disguise

Probably had show her boobs on top of a table for fun (sober Wednesday had to pull her down)

Gets whiny when the alcohol starts to wear off

Already ended up asleep upside down in a bathtub – somehow always wakes up in her bed

Ajax:

Mildly light weight; can hold his beer as much as he wants, but anything stronger and he’s gone.

At 3 drinks he thinks he’s a good singer; at 5 he’ll demonstrate it (he’s not)

Definitely an affectionate drunk

Will hug anyone – anyone

The only person who had tackled Bianca Barclay into a surprise hug and lived

Bc drunk Ajax is a gentle giant too cute for his own good

Actually managed to get away after being busted by Ms Thornhill as he stumbled drunk in the school’s corridor

Asks the dumbest yet most legit questions

“So snakes are basically walking on their bellies?”

“D’you think Weems can have a baby with herself? I mean theoretically–”

“If I stone someone during sex and pull out, do I pull the sword out of the stone?”

Loves everyone, will die for everyone if you ask enough (just ask him)

Saw a bearded man once and hugged him while crying “Dumbledore, you’re alive!!”

Xavier and Yoko filmed the scene; it’s an official meme of Nevermore now

Harder drunker, so somehow the best at knowing all the tricks how to handle hangovers

Will leave ibuprofen and bottles of water in the bathroom every time the party’s in his room

Xavier:

Also familiar with fancy drinks (family dinners and all)

Ajax definitely made fun of him during their first time drinking together because of that

Will defy anyone in a drinking contest – will most likely win but at what cost

Knows when he’s drunk, will have another drink to celebrate it

Needs no more than 3 drinks to dramatically turn to Ajax singing like he’s a judge in The Voice

Hair has no rule anymore: past 5 drinks, Xavier will let anyone try any hair style on him – should he end up with a palm tree hairstyle (he definitely did. Multiple time.)

Instaured a socks race with Enid to establish a winner in beer pong in case it ends in a tie

The scale of drunken Xavier can be established by the corny nicknames he uses: babe, sweetheart? Getting tipsy. Muffin, baby doll? Drunk. Sexy cake, pudding, honeybun? Definitely drunk. Baby boo, Sugar pie? Bro you’re wasted af, drop this drink right now and stop trying to hit on the coat hanger.

Emotional drunk; the daddy issues WILL show and the emo playlist will be brought up.

Also somehow a bitchy drunk. Will make a gossip club with Yoko and Wednesday on the spot to bitch about every single guest while sipping mojitos and margaritas.

Bianca:

Will drown a bottle of tequila without blinking an eye and then recite an entire Shakespeare sonnet without stuttering

Slightly emotional drunk, but also a loud drunk

Like, legit sounds like Cardi B laughing while drunk – a hyena

Brutally honest with you, but more prone to help you after a few drinks

Dance monster on her 4th drink; don’t try to stop her getting on the dancefloor

Taster of every new mix by Yoko; she has excellent cocktail tastes

Will cry watching ‘Monsters Inc.’ on her 5th drink, will absolutely trash talk the little mermaid tho

The strongest drinker – it takes a lot to actually get her drunk

So she always end up being the referee to all drinking games (which she’s most likely to have instigated)

Have tons of pics of her friends during their drunken antics – goldmine.

Mama bear taking care of the drunk crew

Tyler:

No filter whatsoever

Will either broke down into tears or unleash anger

Would fight anyone too

Not a lightweight but doesn’t know how to handle the amount of liquor he’s drinking

Conspiracy theories after the 5th drink. So. much. theories.

Had improvised a drunk strip tease once; will not do that again (for free)

Actually received a lot of compliments after that

The official coffee supplier of the crew on hangovers

“Give me a pint of that coffee, Galpin”

Around 4am, he’s usually taken by the urge to stress/hangover clean everything. Will do all the dishes to sleep off the alcohol.

Will alternatively flirt or try to fight everyone, no middle ground

He’ll actually defend any of his drunk friends being harassed

High chances he’d join the bitch club too; Enid once photoshopped his, Xavier, and Yoko’s faces on the ‘Mean girls’ poster

(every one of them had secretly that printed in their locker)

Also a mother hen – at least he tries

Bonus: Principal Weems

Did indeed transform herself into a student to attend a party

Quickly understood why she preferred a glass of Chardonnay in her cozy office

The sole time she threw up after a party thanks to cheap vodka

Also had to purposefully ignore some students after that – some pictures can’t be erased

#wednesday #wednesday series #wednesday netflix #headcanon #crack headcanons #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #ajax petropolus #xavier thorpe #bianca barclay #tyler galpin #larissa weems

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wild-moss-art · 9 months

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hi moss! I hope you are having a good day!! I was wondering if you were willing to share how you convinced a doctor to yeet the uterus :O are you scared about having a major surgery? (I am, as always, having The Thoughts.)

<3 I hope you're having a good day too! It is a long story and kind of personal but I'm happy to share bc I know that it's really difficult to find info on, and if anyone has questions you can feel free to dm or send an ask. Gonna put the story under the cut.

First of all, I live in america and this will all sound very american lol.

In the interest of not burying the lede, my working theory is that I have endometriosis or adenomyosis; these are notoriously difficult to diagnose. Endometriosis is only diagnosable through a laparoscopic surgery and adenomyosis is literally only diagnosable through getting a hysterectomy and having the tissue biopsied. If you don't want a hysterectomy, you can't get an official diagnosis.

Now to the backstory. I think my medical history and experience advocating for myself medically had the most impact on being approved for this procedure.

I have been on hormonal birth control since I was about 13 or 14 practically as soon as I hit puberty I had debilitating periods. I was missing a lot of school and obviously this didn't look good for my parents, so I was put on the pill, and later when I was older I switched to IUDs. The birth control basically put a bandaid on the problem, and the IUD eliminated my period altogether.

Near the beginning of this year, I started to have a lot of pelvic pain that I initially thought was a UTI. I went to the doctor who kept telling me I didn't have the bacteria for a UTI, and basically sent me home with some antibiotics anyway, which didn't help. They did not test for any other problems. I ended up switching doctors due to insurance purposes, but was also put off by the care I'd received.

When I went to the next doctor, they were actually willing to run tests. This doctor and every other doctor I've seen since initially insisted I must have an STD. A panel was run, and I was fully clean for STDs. I was referred to a urogynecology specialist, as my main symptoms at this point were pain(which they do not care about- didnt even put it in my file) and difficulty urinating(this symptom I believe is the only reason I was able to get a referral to a specialist).

While I was waiting for my urogynecology appointment(they were pretty booked out), the pain got worse, like a lot worse. I was also having more and more hormonal symptoms like heavy acne. I was able to move my appointment up but ended up going to the ER. At the ER, I posted about my experience which I can link if you'd like but I'll include the relevant info. The doctor hadn't looked at my age on the file and initially DENIED testing because I was "too young". He came back later and approved it, because he actually looked at my fucking file. From this point on I've been livid and ready to fistfight every doctor Ive seen.

I was at the ER for like 10 hours and got a CT scan, which showed all the inflammation in my uterus and little in my bladder, which was when I began to realize that the bladder issue was just a symptom and not the problem. The original doctor was off duty toward the end of my visit, and the new doctor came in for briefing when she mentioned they needed to run an STD panel. I told her I'd had one about a week ago that was fully negative. She said "I need to go talk to my supervisor."

Ultimately, I was released from the ER with a prescription for extra strength ibuprofen and a referral to a gynecologist. They said my IUD was stabbing me internally, and needed to come out. They did not take it out at the ER.

At this point, it was time for my urogynecology appointment. At the appointment, I told them about my ER visit and asked if they could take my IUD out. They said they didn't really do that there, but after I showed them my CT scan results, they did it anyway. I felt a lot better, immediately. They were helpful and awesome, but said that they mostly treat bladder problems, which was clearly not what I had.

I didnt feel fully better though, because hormonal birth control keeps endometriosis and adenomyosis symptoms and pain at bay. The pain has gotten gradually worse, but it's not longer quite as sharp and stabbing. I've been doing a lot of research about these conditions thanks to a helpful tumblr mutual, and I believe I have adenomysis. I'm not sure whether I have endometriosis.

I followed up on the gynecology referral from the er; I am really happy with this clinic so far. They are the ones that offered the hysterectomy. In my initial appointment, I mentioned that I was not on birth control and wanted to be sterilized. They asked if I wanted birth control in the meantime. I said no(I believe this helped).

(as an aside. Another reason I believe I was offered what I was is that I am married. When I listed my partner as an emergency contact, they specifically mentioned that I did not take his last name. I believe this says something about our relationship to doctors. I know often they will ask for the husband's permission in this scenario; however, they did not even bring him up beyond the last name thing.)

When I met with the doctor for a tubal ligation consult, we talked a bit about the procedure and what other symptoms I was having. I also got an ultrasound that showed inflammation in my uterus(as well as a medium sized cyst on my ovary. lmao). He said the tubal ligation would not help my other symptoms. When I mentioned my CT scan, he actually left to go look at it, returned and immediately asked if I wanted kids. When I said no, he told me he could give me a hysterectomy.

We went over some details; just a hysterectomy is a pretty non invasive procedure and doesn't even require an incision. He mentioned that it may or may not fix the whole problem(it would fix adenomyosis which only affects the uterus, not endometriosis which affects other organs) but that it's pretty complicated to remove the ovaries because it's a more invasive procedure and basically I'd have to be on hormones to simulate menopause for a really long time(I'm only 27). So that is an option, but it's better to just see if the hysterectomy fixes my problems.

The surgery is in 10 days from now and I have my intake consult on tuesday. I plan to update cause again, I know not a lot of people talk about these experiences and it would have really helped me to have known more going in. I really cant wait, I've basically been bedridden, cant exercise, can't stand for long periods of time, not much at all. I'm lucky my livelihood is sitting on my couch drawing.

Finally, I believe that it is possible that they wanted to sterilize me due to my mental health history. I am in ongoing treatment for my mental health, and have particular diagnoses that I do not disclose publicly. You can message me if you'd like to know this information.

#ty for the ask <3 #im sorry this is so long lmao. it has been a lot #I do feel all this is relevant though. I don't think I could have just rolled up to my general doctor's office and asked for a hysterectomy #nor do I think I could have rolled up to the gynecologists office and asked for one without the history #im not sure how to tag this so that people could find it if they need to lmk if anyone has suggestions #moss is sick as in cool but also as in sick

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laureliciousdefinition · 2 years

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Wicked Game | pt 2. | Javier Peña X Reader

summary: you struggle internally with the guilt of what you did, but javi is there to distract you.

Rating: 18+, minors get tf out!

Warnings/tags: smut, oral (f receiving), no y/n, afab genitalia

A/N: first of thank you SO much to everyone who read part 1!!!! You guys are the best!!! second of all I have been exhausted the last 3 days bc I started a new job sooooo if there’s anything weird in here just roll with it babe. Enjoy!

Part 1 (read that first!)

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It’s raining when you wake up that morning.

It felt fitting; upon your brain catching up and realizing what you’d done with Javi, your insides immediately felt stormy, be it from the inevitable hangover or from the pure guilt toiling within you. Guilt over cheating, yes. You never thought you were that type of person- you’d spent countless hours consoling your friends over rotten men who’d cheated on them with some younger girl. But the worse realization- you felt guilty because you liked it. You liked the attention from a man like Javier. The cheap-but-honest compliments and the genuine conversation and the sex, god. The sex. When was the last time you’d woken up sore after a night of pure ecstasy like that? You pondered the thought as you moved to the kitchen in search of something to settle your stomach.

Upon reaching the breakfast counter, you couldn’t hold back a smile as you were greeted with two ibuprofens and a glass of water already set out for you. Next to the items was a small, torn piece of paper, clearly ripped from the corner of a takeout menu on your fridge.

‘Had to get to work. If you ever need a friend, give me a call.

-Javier’

The words were followed by a scribbling of a phone number. After taking the ibuprofens and shoving some toast down your throat, you sat back into your couch and turned the note over in your hands. Of course you were interested in seeing him again; he made you feel understood and important and beautiful. Like you mattered. Before you left for Colombia every aspect of your life felt so meaningless, be it work, your marriage, or countless other things. But with Javi, you felt like you were alive for the first time in months. And yes, you felt bad about it- but didn’t you deserve more in life, deserve to feel wanted?

Hesitating briefly, you set the note to the side and picked up the small black phone.

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Javier wasn’t sure what came over him on the way out of your apartment. Sure, he’d had a great time with you the night before, but he was never the type to see his hookups again. He’d made the mistake of getting attached one too many times, and he wasn’t sure he could live through that again.

But getting to know you over drinks in that dingy bar, he felt it. He felt that tug on his heart that always signaled he was getting too close to someone; He felt it when you talked about leaving your life behind for Colombia. When your face lit up after he showed interest in your job. When, after your third drink, you edged the tiniest bit closer in your barstool, crossed leg dangling down and brushing one of his. When he had gone in that night, he immediately recognized you sitting alone. Still in your work clothes, clearly more tired than when he’d seen you before, but still striking him right in his chest.

He saw the ring early on into the conversation and told himself to back off. But you looked at him with those big eyes, hanging on to his every word, and he couldn’t resist you.

When he woke up before you that morning, he told himself that was it. But then as he dressed as quietly as he could, he saw your face pressed gently into the pillow, a soft snore escaping your mouth, and he felt the tug again. So before he could talk himself out of it, he tore off the corner of the Chinese menu hanging on your fridge and wrote down his number for you.

Later on, when he heard his phone ring out loudly in his empty apartment, he felt the tug, and it was the biggest one yet.

“Didn’t think you’d call,” he mumbled into the phone, cigarette hanging off his lips.

You leaned against your kitchen counter, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Why wouldn’t I? You were great company last night.”

Javi found himself smiling around the cigarette, now lit. “Careful, you’re gonna give me an ego.”

You laughed. “Something tells me you don’t need my help with that.”

He laughed in return, and you heard the inhale of a cigarette before he answered. “Ah okay, build me up then cut me back down. It’s a good system, I suppose.”

“Gotta keep ‘em humble.” You joked. “So… I don’t really know how the whole, hookup thing works, but I’d uh… I’d really like to see you again? If you want, I mean. It doesn’t have to be anything, I just-“ you were rambling, and you knew it. Thankfully, Javier cut you off before you could embarrass yourself further.

“Yeah, I’d love to see you again too.” He tried his best to hold back his chuckle at the way you fumbled your words.

You let out a deep sigh. “Okay, great. How’s tomorrow night?”

In that moment, Javi was grateful you couldn’t see him and the grin creeping across his face.

“Tomorrow night is great.”

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The next night, as you got ready for an early dinner, you reasoned to yourself that you were just two people meeting for a meal. It didn’t have to mean anything, it could be purely platonic.

But then he picked you up, knocking on your door before guiding you to his car with a gentle brush of his hand on the small of your back, and you knew you were in trouble.

The storm from the previous morning returned to your chest; it was a battle you’d fought for the last 48 hours. You were cheating, and it was wrong, but Javi was irresistible, and you were so, painfully lonely in the world. And just as it had that very first night, you felt your resolve loosen before dissolving completely. You were going to enjoy yourself tonight.

And that you did; he’d taken you to a small cafe in the town center that served the best arepas you’d ever had. You shared stories, the conversation easily bouncing back and forth, something you’d lacked in your relationship for too long.

“No, me too, I think they’re totally overrated,” you spoke with your fork in the air, emphasizing your words.

Javier squinted into the distance as if he were deep in thought. “Maybe we’re just too old to get Nirvana.”

You shook your head as you chuckled, pulling your napkin up to your mouth. “Who are you calling old? I’m young, I’m hip,”

He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, periodista.”

“When did you decide that was my nickname?” You asked quizzically, before sipping your water.

“When you slammed into me with all your journalism stuff.” He replied matter-of-factly. “Who were you even on the way to see in such a rush?”

A proud smile made your cheeks rise. “I had an interview with ambassador Noonan. I know it’s not necessarily hard hitting, and it was super surface level, but I was so excited to get my foot in the door, you know?”

Javi rested his chin in his palm and took you in. “You shouldn’t downplay your work. You deserve to be excited about getting experiences.”

The raw honesty in his voice made your chest feel tight. He absolutely meant every word he said, and it made you feel so warm it was difficult to look him in the eye.

After an emotionally charged moment, you returned your gaze to him. “Do you wanna get out of here?” You asked softly, a knowing smile on your face.

“I’ll get the check,” he responded, mirroring the smile.

Yeah, you were definitely in trouble.

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The phone, which had been silently sitting on the small end table to your right, rang loudly, breaking you from the trance Javi held you in. You knew who it was- and you knew you had to answer.

You patted the top of his head gently. “Stop, stop- I need to answer. It’ll just be a sec.”

With a loud sigh and a nod, Javi sat back on his knees and pulled away from you. Your attempt to clear your mind before answering the phone was futile; he looked up at you with his soft brown eyes, pupils blown wide, and the bottom half of his face was coated in your wetness. He bent an elbow over the top of your knee and rested his chin on it, a gesture so tender it made your stomach churn.

Clearing your throat, you pressed the small orange button at the top. “Hello?” You attempted to sound as normal as possible.

“Oh, hey hun. I thought you weren’t gonna answer there for a minute.” Your husband’s voice came through the speaker.

You chuckled awkwardly. “Oh yeah, I was just uh, just doing some dishes.”

“I called a few nights ago, but I guess you were asleep? No worries though. I was just thinking about you.” His voice was small but earnest, and it sent a ripple of guilt through your chest.

You had intended to call him back as soon as possible, but work, and (mostly) Javier had taken up your time.

“Aw, baby, that’s sweet. I’m sorry I missed it, things are just.. just crazy down here.” You replied, and you really did mean it. Even though things weren’t great between the two of you, hearing that he wanted to talk to you still made your heart warm just a little.

He laughed softly, voice crackly through the phone. “I was just thinking about how quiet it is without you here,” he told you.

Watching the exchange from below, Javi found his patience wearing thin. He knew you belonged to someone else- he knew he wasn’t allowed to be jealous. But god… seeing you smile for some loser that he knew didn’t appreciate you made something stir within his chest and he found himself unable to contain it any longer.

He shifted from resting his head on your knee to his previous position slotted between your legs. He pressed a gentle kiss to the soft inner part of your thigh, followed by a short nip. Glancing up to see your reaction, you didn’t move aside from a sharp slot of your eyes down to his. Javier did his best to hold back a smile as he repeated the action on the other leg, biting then soothing with a kiss.

“Oh, really?” He heard you say in response to a prompt he couldn’t hear, not that he cared to.

He nudged your thighs back open and gently leaned back in, pressing his nose against your clit. When he heard your sharp inhale, he mentally cheered for himself over getting your attention back. Moving achingly slowly, he dragged the tip of his tongue from the bottom of your opening all the way to just above your clit, keeping his eyes locked to yours. There was a deep furrow forming in your brow, both a warning to stop and an encouragement to keep going. He saw your eyes flutter shut and took pride in watching you stutter, attempting to keep your tone even for the unsuspecting man on the other end of the line.

Your fingers returned to their place in his hair, this time your grip tighter as you pushed him closer to your center. Javier of course took the direction happily, drawing circles around your clit with more determination than before.

It felt wrong, but he was pretty sure this was the hardest his cock had ever been. He loved watching you flail, knowing you were one moan away from getting caught. He could feel a pre cum stain forming against his tight jeans yet he found himself unable to be embarrassed because from the way you were bucking your hips at his face, he knew you felt the same way.

“Cum for me.” He directed, words muffled against your clit. “I know you can hear me, cum for me.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. “Hey, um- hey baby?” You interrupted your husband’s recounting of an interaction with a coworker from that morning. “I.. I gotta go. I’m just uh… I’m just kinda tired,” you tried desperately to hold back the orgasm that felt like it was spreading through your whole body.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” You emptily promised, fingers tightening around Javi’s shoulder.

“I love you.”

The three words were breathless, lacking meaning yet packed with more emotions than one could process.

You practically threw the clunky phone across the room, panting out an ‘oh fuck’ before you came harder than it seemed you ever had. The moan that left your body could only be described as pornographic- loud, surely loud enough for people on the streets below to hear, and trailing into a whine. Your back arched against the couch, writhing desperately as the overwhelming sensation took hold. Your thighs clamped hard around Javi’s face, only moving when you had to push his head away as you moved into overstimulation. He was content to sit and lap up your cum for as long as you would let him.

When you came down, you rested your head over the back of the couch, still panting slightly.

“You proud of yourself?” You asked, slinging your arm across your eyes.

With a groan and a loud crack of his knees, Javi stood then settled in next to you on the small couch.

“Does it make me a bad person if I say yes?” He rolled his head to face you, a mischievous look dancing onto his face.

You paused looked at him for a moment. You weren’t sure where it came from- maybe it was the disbelief and absurdity of his statement, or maybe you simply were not of sound mind after that earth shattering climax- but you let out a long, loud laugh at his question. Caught off guard at first, Javier followed quickly, dissolving into his own fit, though less so than you.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes, still holding a smile you couldn’t quite get rid of.

“Yeah, I think it does. We’re bad people.”

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Feedback/interactions always appreciated<333

If you’re interested in being tagged in the next chapter/any other of my content shoot me an ask and I’ll put you on the list!!

#javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x y/n #javier peña smut #javier pena x you #narcos smut #narcos fanfiction

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rhapsodic-adolescent · 1 year

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growing up

My first negative thought about myself came from my first bully at 4 years old, i can’t remember her name, and she always called me a baby and blew raspberries at me and laughed when i fell. i think she pushed me over one time. i remember being bullied a little too well. i remember the shame, the humiliation, the dread of waking up every morning and facing the scary school full of scary people and their scary words. my first memory of hating my body also came from when i was 4 and in the shower, and i looked down, almost in tears, at my stomach. i called my mother into the bathroom and her voice sounded weird as she reassured me i was perfect and beautiful and had nothing to worry about- i realized a decade and a half later what i heard was devastation. skipping a grade takes a toll on a kid. i remember, even as a 5 year old, people felt like i was too much- too loud, too smart, too distracted, too annoying, too underdeveloped, too young. skipping a grade takes a toll on a kid. at six years old, my first best friend, carlos, decided being friends with a girl wasn’t cool anymore. i also got my first boyfriend that year. i broke up with him because he wanted to kiss me. at 8 years old, a girl named maria decided we should do what our parents do during the nighttime. at 9 i changed schools and met my next best friend, who ditched as quickly as i ditched that school when i turned 10. that’s when the bullying got worse. no one likes a middle schooler who’s 10 years old. at eleven i cried over everything, constantly. when i was 12 i met my lifelong best friend, who would, over time, hear all these stories and more. being 13 years old as a freshman is a horrific experience full of tears and wonder and soul-crushing emotions that make you want to lay in bed all day long with no real longing for anything, forcing yourself to enjoy anything in your life. i remember starving myself for the first time as a 14 year old while my friends begged me to eat, bribing me with my favorite foods. at 15 i felt like i didn’t belong with them, i was out of place and they only pretended to like me. i took the frustration out on my wrists. i remember it getting worse at 16, surviving off of celery sticks, ibuprofen, and iced coffee. it quickly became a hybrid of not just low self-esteem but a lack of control over everything going on in my life. i didn’t understand why boys were mean and why their words were scary. i didn’t understand why they didn’t love me the way i loved them. when i turned 17, i didn’t understand why they refused to take ‘no’ for an answer. i didn’t understand why my father hadn’t texted me in 6 months and it was still my fault. when i turned 18, my mother and i stopped being best friends. when i turned 19, i slowly started to love myself. when i turned 20, i rekindled my relationship with my parents. when i turned 21, i felt like me again. as i come on my last week before i turn 22, i realize i have no idea who i am yet, but as i look back on who i used to be, i know that it’s okay.

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ilovethetalkingclock · 1 year

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The First Change

GENRE: Horror

CHARACTERS: Kevin and Streber (Spooky Month)

SHIP: Candybats (Kevin x Streber) mainly at the end

WARNINGS: mild discussion of menstruation, blood (no, not from there despite the previous warning), mention of parent death, mention of animal death

SUMMARY: Kevin tells a small tale of how the wolf first came into his life.

Just a fair note, this will come in perspective shifts. The third person POV is in the present, and Kevin's POV signifies his memory.

Also trans Kevin forever-

"So when does it usually happen?"

Streber looked at Kevin with a curious smile.

Kevin, however, needed some more words to know what Streber meant.

"When does what usually happen?"

"Ah, shoulda been more specific… the first transformation!!!"

Kevin got nervous.

"Ooohh yeahhh… well… uh… howdoianswerthis…"

The scenegoth got a bit apologetic.

"I understand if it's a bit personal, I'm sorr-"

"Don't be!!! Uh.. oh! I remember. Iiiit… usually happens on the first full moon after puberty."

"Oh, damn!"

"...you want to hear the story of how mine went?"

"Any… you know… details?"

"Not really, no."

"Then yes."

"Alrighty…"

Streber listened eagerly as Kevin told.

---

So I was 13 years old. My birthday had come and passed.

I was doing my best to explore my identity at the time, but also doing my best to keep safe, as while my father was accepting, we both knew there were many out there who weren't.

My father foretold me that I would experience pain regarding my changes, so I didn't really think anything of it when my body started cramping during class, I just knew the red river was starting to flow and already had the padding on beforehand.

That being said however, the cramping became too much, and eventually my head started to hurt too, so I excused myself to the nurse… it eventually got worse so I couldn't bring myself to go back to class. My dad was called to pick me up.

---

"Did you have any ibuprofen and heating pads?" Streber asked, making sure to be respectful.

"I did… but there was one thing that made me realize something was off."

"And that being…?"

Kevin looked Streber in the eye, with a mildly ominous inflection.

"The aches only got worse."

---

Eventually, they were spreading not just from the abdominal area, but also my chest… face… limbs… back… everywhere.

From my best memory… The moment my dad found me, I was in fetal position. Tears were running down my face and… he said I was wailing. He did his best to console me, but all I could say was, from what I could recall…

"TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL!!!"

Anyone else would think that I was just 'PMSing'…

But when I looked up at him, I swore he froze. He looked very reluctant, in cold sweat. It took around 10 seconds for him to get me to his car and rush me right there.

They wheeled me to a bed, got their best painkillers…

All I could do now was rest.

From what I was told, the doctors eventually found my bed empty and the window shattered.

When I woke up, I was covered in blood that wasn't mine. Dad was holding me in his arms.

He did his best to comfort me as I cried, even though he looked stressed as well, mildly weeping in both fear and relief.

"Shhh… you're gonna be okay… I'm here…"

Eventually we got home.

"Dad… what did I do last night?! D-... did I kill anyone?!"

"No… it was just a deer…"

"Ah… but… does this mean…"

"...I was thinking I had more time to tell you…"

I already knew what he meant by that.

"...oh god, how?! D… did it have something to do with that puppy biting me a while back?! Was it a-"

"Oh, sweetie, no… you…"

He looked hesitant.

"...You took after mom."

I got quiet.

I remember being told that a hunter accidentally missed in shooting a deer and striking what they initially thought was a wolf… and when they got up to it they saw my mother's body instead.

My father was then quick to support and reassure me about my own fears… and from that moment on I was kept in the basement every full moon not only to keep others safe, but also to save me from the same fate as my mother's…

---

Streber was lost for words.

"Babe… I'm terribly sorry…"

"She died when I was too young to remember her… Ugh, sorry… that got a bit off track."

"Nonono, I understand!!!"

The two embraced eachother for comfort. After around a minute or so, Kevin asked.

"It's tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Gotcha… I think we got everything we need. You're moving in next month, right?"

"Yes!!!"

Another hug was given, now followed by a kiss.

A wannabe vampire, an actual werewolf.

Despite everything, they were meant to be.

#spooky month #spooky month kevin #spooky month streber #sr pelo #story #fanfic #woofkev au #werewolf #lycanthropy #blood tw #werewolf!kevin

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jfrut · 2 years

Text

NCIS: Hawai'i: Cold Compress

What happened after Lucy left Whistler in the bullpen. Extended / Alternate Ending to S01 EP20 NCIS Hawai'i Nightwatch with Kate Whistler and Lucy Tara.

Lucy

Lucy left the bull pen, got off the elevator, walked across the parking lot and got in her car. Tears came down uncontrollably as soon as the door closed. She just lied to Whistler. She loved Whistler so much that it physically hurt. There was nothing she wanted more than to hold Whistler right now. She knew she hurt Whistler with her words but she was still angry and couldn’t even understand why. How could she love someone so much and be upset with them at the same time? She knew she was wrong to leave Whistler standing there, but she didn’t know what else she could do. She was so furious with Kate, with herself, and with the whole situation. Whistler could have died today.

She drove home and realized she and Skylar were supposed to meet up later. Would Skylar help ease this horrible pain she wondered, but in that moment all she could see was Whistler’s puppy dog face after being rejected and condemned to be without her.

Lucy stepped into the shower and tried to relax. She needed to clear her head before meeting up with Skylar. Her mind drifted to Kate. She knew Kate would not ice her bruises and she knew Kate needed to eat but would do none of that. She wanted to go over and take care of Kate. Kate needed her and that was the most ridiculous thought that had crossed her mind all day. She got out of the shower and dressed and did her hair.

Kate

Kate was stunned. Her cheeks were hot, her heart beat a mile a minute, her head hurt and her entire body ached. She couldn't move, she just stood there with tears flowing down her cheeks. She’d never been so emotionally vulnerable in her entire life. She’d never felt anything like this ever before. Lucy had loved her and she had felt every bit of that love in every cell of her body. Kate was terrified. Could she even live without Lucy? Lucy can’t even look at me, she thought to herself. I’m doomed.

Tennant’s voice startled Kate. ‘Have a sip of this decaffeinated green tea, it’s soothing’, Tennant said as she sipped her own cup. Kate was embarrassed by her tears and pretended it was just the pain. ‘Gosh my head hurts so much it’s making me tear up’, she said, ‘I need to go home and take some Ibuprofen’.

Tennant smiled back at her as if she knew exactly to ignore what had just happened. ‘Have a few more sips and then I’ll drive you home.’ she said. You’re on my way anyways. Kate drank her tea, she could feel every drop down her throat. She gulped in pain.

‘You know what you did today was brave, and even if you got lucky, sometimes for us luck goes a long way. You lived, everything worked out and that’s all that matters. Lucy is tough on the outside but a real softie. All of us here think of you as part of the team and we’re here for you.’ Tennant walked to her office to pick up her purse and keys.

Kate walked out with Tennant trying to figure out what to say back. Tennent smiled warmly and they drove in silence back to Kate’s condo.

‘Thanks for the ride Tennant.’

‘Get some rest and take care of those bruises’. Tenant smiled and drove off.

Kate walked into her apartment, lay down on the couch and closed her eyes.

Lucy

Lucy was frustrated. She really didn’t want to see Skylar tonight. It had been a long day and she wasn’t in a good mood. She looked at her watch, she still had an hour and a half before she was supposed to meet Skylar. She needed to eat but all she could think of was Kate not eating and not taking care of herself. Was it even fair to see Skylar, when she knew she loved Kate. Did she love Kate? She didn’t care, she just couldn't see Skylar in her state of mind. She called Skylar.

‘Hey it’s Lucy!’ she said, trying to be as upbeat as she could.

‘Hey what’s up Lucy! Are we still on for tonight?’ Skylar sounded excited.

‘Umm..yeah that’s why I called, you know how I had to take off yesterday in the middle of mini-golf? Well, we ended up having to pull an all-nighter. It was quite the day and I’m so wiped that I would be terrible company right now. I really hate to do this, but can we do this later in the week?”

‘Yeah sure, no worries, I’m actually out with some friends for dinner, I’ll miss meeting up with you later but I hope you get some rest and we’ll figure it out over text. Have a great night!’

‘Hey thanks. Again, I am really sorry to do this at the last minute. I hope you have a fun time at dinner!’ Lucy hung up. It felt as if a huge weight had rolled off her back. She’ll make it up to Skylar after she cleared her head she thought to herself.

She had to see Kate, she didn’t care that she was angry with her. Kate needed to eat. Lucy picked up the phone and ordered Kate's favorite comfort food. She was just going to make sure Kate ate, and she’d be fine. This was just her checking in on Kate, nothing more, she reasoned.

Lucy picked up the food and headed over to Kate’s. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Nothing. She knocked louder. Maybe Whistler was asleep? Or was she at a bar drinking?. She better not be at a bar Lucy thought angry with Whistler for a second forgetting everything else. She was rocked back into reality when the door opened and a half awake Whistler was on the other side looking like she couldn't believe her eyes.

Lucy and Kate

I’m dreaming, Kate thought. It was a dream she wanted to indulge in.

‘Hey I just wanted to make sure you ate’ Lucy said seemingly nonchalantly.

‘Were you sleeping? Did you eat? Did you take something for the pain? I picked up some of that stuff you like and just wanted to drop it off. Did I wake you? So have you eaten?’ Lucy spurted out.

‘No. What are you doing here?’

‘You need to eat. Can I come in?’ Lucy asked, not really asking.

Kate moved aside to make space, she couldn't think straight.

Lucy walked in, Kate followed her into the living room.

‘Go sit down on the couch and I’ll make you a plate.’ Lucy ordered.

Kate complied. Her heart beat like a little girl on Christmas morning about to open presents. I love her, she thought.

Lucy prepped two plates, she’d join Kate, that way she could make sure Kate actually ate. She was hungry, she justified to herself. She hadn’t eaten all day and for whatever reason she had ordered enough for 3 people.

She brought the plates over and placed them on the table and then poured some water for the both of them.

‘Do you want some wine, there’s a bottle in the fridge.’

‘No. And you shouldn't be drinking anyways’ Lucy barked.

‘I meant for you. Not me.’

Kate started to eat. She was so hungry no wonder her head hurt, she hadn’t eaten anything. She relaxed for the first time and realized that even angry Lucy made her feel at peace. She tried to use her knife to slice and realized her hand still hurt too much.

‘Umm...let me get that’, Lucy’s voice was soft and kind. She worked on cutting up the food but making sure to avoid looking at Kate. She could smell a light scent of Kate’s deodorant and breathed in deeply.

Kate couldn't stop staring at Lucy. It was a good thing she wasn’t looking back, because she couldn't stop even if she wanted to.

They ate in silence. Kate knew it was too early to say anything, and more importantly she just wanted to soak in Lucy’s presence.

After they ate, Kate relaxed on the sofa and watched Lucy put everything away and brew chamomile tea. Like it was just any other evening. But she knew very well that it wasn’t any other evening, because any other evening they wouldn't be able to keep this much space between them.

Lucy walked over with the tea and Kate’s meds from the kitchen counter. She read the labels. ‘You’re supposed to take one of these relaxants and two prescription strength Ibuprofen.’

Kate compiled, like a little girl. She didn’t want the night to end. They sat in silence which was unheard of with Lucy. Kate had never felt so much at ease.

As they finished up their tea, Lucy looked at her and said, ‘Okay you need to be horizontal, let’s get you to bed.’

‘No I’m fine’ Whistler protested, ‘I’ll go to bed after you leave’.

‘I am really tired and I just don’t have the patience to argue right now’, Lucy said. ‘But I do want to keep tabs on you tonight, since you have a concussion. Can I stay on your couch tonight?’ Lucy pleaded.

Lucy had no idea where that came from but it was out there now. She looked up at Whistler trying to seem like this was a totally normal request.

‘Yeah, of course’, said the flabbergasted Whistler.

She’s kidding right? She thought. Lucy and her had never slept apart in her condo.

‘Thanks. Now please go to bed and try to sleep’. Lucy motioned towards Whistler's bedroom.

Are you going to tuck me in? Whistler thought mischievously in her head as she smiled to herself but knew better to keep her mouth shut. As Whistler got into bed a little later she was the happiest person she had even been in her entire life. She really didn’t care what reality would be the next morning.

Lucy lay on the couch trying to figure out what she was doing, and which feeling she was surfing right now and if it was even right. She would do this for a friend who got hurt, right? After half an hour she got up to check on Whistler and could hear Kate fast asleep as she got closer to the bed. She watched Whistler sleep and realized she was in deep trouble. There was no way she was going to get to choose which feelings she was going to surf.

#kacy #kate x lucy #lucy x kate #kacy fanfic #ncis hawaii #kate whistler #lucy tara #jane tennant #tennant #s01e20 #ncis hawai'i s01e20 #tori anderson #yasmine al bustami #jucyforkacy

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tumbling-down-the-hall · 1 year

Text

Random thoughts on a surprisingly sunny November day.

You carry past ones with you in the weirdest ways.

I smell cigarette smoke and think of one of my friends who said that smoking was attractive but dumb.

Other times I smell cigarette smoke and I'm taken back to the basement at a different friend's house.

One ex said that Americans were weak for taking meds when they were sick, I still have an aversion of taking ibuprofen/acetaminophen when I have a headache. That was 5 years ago.

One person I went on a date tried using "stem girl" as an endearing nickname and I hated it. It makes me feel like I'm less than that degree.

Anytime I try fish. I remember the one who told me to start trying foods. Don't stick in my comfort zone.

I still have the tuba shorts. I don't think of him as much tho with them on. Every so often. It doesn't help that my current partner has the same name as that one. Thankfully their last names are different.

I can't read the Riftwar series because of what happened at the end of the F*** buddies relationship.

I can't watch Arrested Development because of what happened while we were watching the series.

I can't watch Witcher without thinking of him. I can't play Legend of Zelda or Animal crossing without that little sliver popping up. I have photos of us and it disgusts me. The age gap. Me not realizing how gross it really was. It's amazing how much has changed. And how wrong it all was. My life was a fucking tella novella. I guess one good thing that came from it is that I brush my teeth every night before going to bed because of him.

I'm sure there are others. But it's really wild to think how others change you. Like you become bits of them. They stick with you.

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sixeyesgojo · 3 years

Text

jjk characters handling your period

Summary: “What do you mean, no baby this month either? Okay, suffer then.” - your damn uterus

Pairings: Gojo/Megumi/Nanami/Naoya/Toji x Reader

Content warning: the monthly bloody nightmare your uterus puts you through and the whole shebang that comes with it, language warning, suggestive themes, explicit warning for Toji (you’ll see why)

A/N: purely self-indulgent because I suffer. @megumifushi and @sukirichi , my gals, I gotcha. Also dedicated to all readers who suffer from the same fate (may it be right now or not). Also: Yes, absolutely open the video I linked in Megumi’s part (it’s safe, I promise).

Gojo Satoru

You turn and turn in bed uncomfortably. Something isn’t right, you think and it’s not the fact that Satoru is missing next to you. Not knowing immediately irritates you. All of a sudden you become painfully aware of your lower region. Yes, of course it had to be that time of the month. You just knew you already stained your panties and perhaps the sheets haven’t been spared either. Getting out of bed, then realizing it was already past noon, you sprinted to the bathroom. Fuck, moving fast was not a good idea.

Having changed the sheets and your stained panties, you made your way to the kitchen. Your stomach growled, signaling you were hungry, but at the same time you feared. Smelling food, let alone tasting too much of it, was a slippery slope – either your nose would protest or your stomach, no in-between. Regardless, you had to eat; or were you supposed to starve to death because of this? Not in this lifetime. “I AM BACK!” an annoyingly loud voice rang through the apartment. You groan and turn around. “Fuck off, Satoru,” you say. Your irritation flaring up for seemingly no reason. “Stop being so motherfucking loud. My head feels like it’s going to split in two and my pussy is fighting the crimson war right now,” you snarled at him.

“Oh honey, seems like I called the right shots then,” he declared proudly and held up a bag filled with... snacks? “I already called in sick for you for the next few days,” Satoru continued to explain as he wrapped his arms around you, “and I’ll be by your side 24/7 for the next two days. We’ll do fun stuff. How does movie night with lots of cuddling for tonight sound?”

“Why are you so nice to me right now?” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes. “Simple: I don’t want to be castrated by you,” he whispered back and planted a kiss on your cheek. “Fair enough. What will we do tomorrow?” He stayed silent but pulled out a black card out of his sleeve. You gasped.

Fushiguro Megumi

Ping. A notification. Quickly, you scrambled to get your phone to see what that was about. You desperately needed some distraction right now. The pain was too much. Your boyfriend Megumi had gone somewhere you didn’t know. All you knew was that your boobs were sore, the sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric were already too much. In addition to that, you also experienced period cramps, resulting in back pain as well. Life was not easy at the moment but at least you could lay in bed for today, doing absolutely nothing.

Unlocking your phone, you saw a new message from Yuji: “omg look at this???” [Video link] It was a video of 42 seconds. There was a cute seal – probably the cutest and fluffiest seal you have ever seen – and background music. It may have only lasted 42 seconds but it definitely triggered some happy feelings inside you; it was so pure and you loved the energy of the clip. Perhaps these feelings were a bit too intense and overwhelming. Tears streamed down your face and you started sobbing uncontrollably. Why were you like this? It wasn’t even a sad video, was it?

You buried your face in the blankets, weeping as if someone just broke up with you. Through your loud crying, you did not notice the door opening. A jangling noise could be heard from your nightstand. Instantly, you shot up to check for intruders but luckily, it was Megumi. A frown spread on his face. “What happened?” he asked as his thumbs wiped your tears from your cheeks. You showed him the video, still sobbing, “Look at the seal... It’s so c-cute. I just... got emotional because it really t-traveled the world. This cutie deserves the whole world...”

“And so do you,” he bluntly stated, “now take the ibuprofen I brought you for the cramps and rest up.” As a matter of fact, he not only brought you painkillers but a hot water bottle and food as well.

Nanami Kento

“No, give me that. Lay down and rest. I can dust off the shelves on my own,” his deep voice commanded. If there was a man that screamed “male wife” it was definitely Nanami Kento, particularly when it came to you being on your period. You weren’t allowed to do anything in the house, except for very light chores. With good reason. “Kento, I can do–” Yeah, no, it wasn’t possible and Kento knew it too well.

You weren’t lucky when it came to period symptoms. Besides excruciating back pain, extremely sore breasts and headaches, you also had the luck to suffer from dizziness every single time you experienced the monthly nuisance. The first time you even passed out. In fact, it had happened several times. And that was precisely how Kento decided to not let you do anything. Still, you felt bad to leave everything to Kento. His work already demanded so much from him and here you were, being babied and even spoon-fed. You didn’t even have to cook your own meals or wash and iron laundry.

You had barely said those words when the unwelcome whirling sensation took you over again. Your feet wobbled, you were in danger of crashing to the ground. In a flash, Kento was by your side to steady you. “I told you not to overdo it.” He cupped your cheek with his warm hand. “Sorry, Kento. I’ll... just rest for a minute.”

Zenin Naoya

Period pain? Laughable. Naoya thought it was pathetic. A woman – these already weak creatures – having period symptoms was a mystery to him. What could possibly hurt about bleeding a little? He couldn’t understand. Your pitiable and sorry state was only another inconvenience to him. Not that you hindered him in any way – you were obedient enough to be quiet and complain as little as possible – but he absolutely despised seeing that annoying expression of pain on your face every time he had to look at it.

Hell, he didn’t even want to engage in sexual activities with you during that time, even though he had randomly picked up somewhere that it might help. Not that he wanted to help you, it was your problem and yours only, not his. “Stop looking at me with those eyes. It’s disgusting,” he remarked condescendingly as he got dressed for wherever he had to go. “When will you be back?” you croaked out but he totally ignored you.

“Women are so damn weak. It’s so fucking pathetic, I almost want to give you a hug,” Naoya gagged. He was about to leave the room but stopped in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of your face that was contorted with pain. In long strides, he made it to one of the cabinets, fished out a tiny box and threw it on the bed. “Tsk, you better get well soon so you can serve me again, dumb bitch.”

Fushiguro Toji (soft)

Work hadn’t been treating him kindly: not yesterday, not today, not ever. Although he was highly capable and never failed to exceed himself, all Toji truly wanted to do was to go home. When he finally made it through the door, he called out, “Am home.” Usually, you would come running to greet him but when nothing but silence greeted him, his hand instantly moved to the cursed creature lingering on his shoulder. It was suspicious. Did enemies manage to find this hideout? Where were you? His hands started sweating.

Stealthily, he approached the kitchen. To his surprise, he saw your form in front of the counter, hunched over in pain. Dropping his offensive stance immediately, he quickly strode over to check on you. “Hey, what are you doing there?” he asked, hesitatingly putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at him, grimacing with pain, “Oh, Toji. I didn’t realize you were home yet. Sorry, I’m not done cooking dinner yet, I just feel so nauseous, exhausted and my entire back and shoulders hurt so much. It’s so sore.” “I see.” He nodded, understanding what was happening. Suddenly, he lifted you effortlessly. You squealed, “Toji!! What are you doing?!” “Taking care of you,” he promised. “But dinner!” “Don’t care.”

Making his way to the bedroom, Toji laid down with you on top of him. Something about his warmth already made you feel better but as his large palms rubbed your back in circular motions, you felt as if you were in heaven. Toji’s ministrations soothed the pain so well, you almost let out a moan. Now that the pain didn’t overshadow all the other symptoms anymore, the drowsiness took over. “Toji, ‘m tired,” you mumbled; eyelids fluttering already. “Then sleep. I’ll take care of dinner later,” he whispered. You only hummed in response, already far too gone. Slowly but surely, his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep. “Sleep tight.”

Taglist: @megumifushi @gojos-mochi @assbuttbaek @bleueluna

#gojo x reader #megumi x reader #nanami x reader #naoya x reader #toji x reader #gojo satoru #fushiguro megumi #nanami kento #zenin naoya #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen naoya #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #tw: period talk #tw: periods #tw: menstruation

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tarouken · 2 years

Note

hey it's me again who commented on the unplanned pregnancy fic!

can i request a part 2 where the reader eventually realises that she and iwaizumi isn't ready for a child and they decided to abort the baby, with like the abortion clinic scene and everything? make it emotional bitterswet but everything's gonna be okay type of ending lmao sorry if it's a bit too specific!

BUTT please don't feel pressured to do exactly like my request, it is your writing and art after all. have fun!❤

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY — part two

PAIRING: iwaizumi hajime x afab gender neutral reader

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

SUMMARY: after going through with the abortion, you’re having a hard time coming to terms with it

CONTENT / WARNINGS: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of an abortion (no descriptions of it), mentions of extreme negative emotions

NOTE: YOU DONT NEED TO READ THE FIRST PART TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON. i kinda changed it, because i’m really not used to writing and describing something so intense but i really hope you don’t mind. thank you so much for requesting this by the way, because it made me explore my writing for heavier topics. do i like it? don’t i like it? i don’t know, i felt like if i read it again i might end up hating it so you guys just let me know what you think

PART ONE

It’s so easy to get caught up in a fantasy of a decision that would’ve changed your life.

And it’s always the good things that could’ve come with that decision which keep haunting you. From realizing you’re showing for the first time and seeing the bliss in your partner’s eyes when you hold their hand against your stomach to holding that little bundle of joy and finally getting to bond with them. You thought it was impossible to miss what you never had, but the sharp aching pain at the pit of your stomach reminding you of what could have been changes your mind.

You keep telling yourself that your decision was for the better. Financially you’re just not in a comfortable position to feed another mouth and it would probably end up in taking out loans or depending on family and friends, and that’s not what you want. If you were going through with it, you wanted to give them the life they deserved without having them watch their parents struggle and stress about every bill they came across.

It was a practical decision without any room for feelings and fantasies which definitely would’ve made you reconsider it a million times. But now there are no other possibilities anymore, there’s no point in repressing them.

With every cramp or wave of nausea there is another thought that comes with it and even with the painkillers already circulating in your body, the discomfort that comes with the conflicting feelings is inescapable. Your heart feels heavy and it aches with grief, guilt, sorrow and oddly, relief.

There is no right way to feel, they say, but you don’t like the roller coaster that comes with coming to terms with your emotions.

You get pulled out of your thoughts when the door Iwaizumi pushes open creaks, but you don’t budge when he walks over to your side of the bed where you’re consumed by the covers, your face barely peeking over the sea of warmth. You’re not sure what he puts down on your nightstand, but he does it softly, assuming you’re asleep.

He carefully removes the covers from your face and your eyes narrow despite the dim night lamp on your night stand. “Oh, you’re awake.” He speaks softly as if he’s mindful not to scare you and you nod weakly, looking up at him. “Uhm, I got you something to eat and drink so you can take some more ibuprofen, it’s almost been six hours.”

You smile weakly at his thoughtfulness, pushing yourself to sit up while Iwaizumi grabs the plate from your night stand, waiting until you sit comfortably against the headboard to place the simple sandwich in your lap.

“Thank you.”

“Just call me if you need me.” He nods, his forced smile making his nerves only more evident as he walks back towards the door.

He doesn’t really know what to say or do to make you feel better, not that you blame him, you hadn’t made it any easier for him. Your car ride home from the clinic was dead silent, the radio not even on to cut the tension and when you finally came home you went straight to your bedroom to drown in self pity leaving him to be alone.

But you don’t wanna be alone anymore.

“Haji, can you stay with me?”

He stares at you, blinking a couple of times before agreeing and making it to his side of the bed. He sits next to you against the headboard and you can tell he’s still uncomfortable. He doesn’t know if you’re okay with him touching you, a distance between your bodies as he awkwardly stares down at his hands resting in his lap.

You look down at the messily cut sandwich, your appetite not enough for both halfs. You push your plate towards your boyfriend, silently offering him a part and he takes it.

It’s quiet as you guys eat and despite all the different flavors, the sandwich tastes stale in your mouth. You would’ve stopped eating if you didn’t need to take the ibuprofen, but the lack of taste worsens your appetite and makes it hard to swallow the texture which feels horrible against your tongue.

“I should’ve asked you what you wanted to eat,” your boyfriend suddenly says and you turn your head to see him stare down at your half of the sandwich you didn’t manage to finish, “I just lost track of time and didn’t want you to be in pain before I had time to get back.”

“It’s not the sandwich.” You reassure him. “I’m just not hungry.”

You put the plate down on the nightstand before you settle down again. Anxiously you brush all the crumbs of your blanket, trying to find the words to start a conversation with your boyfriend. It’s suddenly like you’re in high school again, uncertain of what to say, scared you will say something to scare him off, but ultimately you decide to start with, “I’m sorry.”

You feel bad for shutting him out and keeping him in the dark about your feelings when he has been nothing more than supportive and caring, basically being the perfect boyfriend in a situation which wasn’t easy for him either. It was new for the both of you and apart from the tiniest mistakes that didn’t really matter moments after it happened, Hajime somehow did everything right.

“You’re going through a lot.” He counters. “You don’t have to apologize for not knowing what to do, because neither do I.”

Despite the emptiness, conflicted feelings and your aching heart, his words make you feel warm and reassured. You realize how fortunate you are to have such an amazing partner by your side, but can’t help but feel like it highlights your shortcomings.

You move closer to Hajime, your legs now touching as you lie your head down against his shoulder. “Your feelings are valid too, you know.”

Hajime sighs, leaning his head against you and his hands find yours, intertwining your fingers. “Does not knowing what you feel count?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, I don’t know.” His thumb rubs into the back of your hand. “How do you feel?”

Your heart raises at his question and you take a moment, swallowing the lump in your throat away. “I’m not as nauseous anymore, but the cramps are pretty bad. Wanted to sleep, but couldn’t.”

“Thoughts keeping you awake?”

“That and the cramps.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

You sigh and close your eyes when you feel tears prickling. “I know now wasn’t the time, but I wonder if I would’ve reconsidered it if I actually thought more about having a little one running around.” The handful of tears that escape feel warm as they stream down your face and you sniffle. “A little you or me to wake up to, go to sleep with, to get home to — it sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Hajime says and you can hear the smile in his voice. “One day we’ll make it happen then.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to be a dad.”

He leans his head back against the headboard of your bed as he just stares at the ceiling. “I never really thought about being a dad before all of this, but this — I was wondering if I would be good at it, you know? And I actually smiled thinking about having a little person just attached to me at all times, holding them, cradling them while they’re so small. Them getting their own will when they grow up and being all stubborn like me, them making a mess when they get to eat on their own, kissing their scratches when they fall, giving them everything they could want. At this point wearing a tutu for a tea party doesn’t even sound like too much, I want to do it all.”

Even with tears staining your cheeks you smile softly. “You’d be a great dad, Haji.”

He pulls his hands out of your grip, lifting his arm to pull you into his warm embrace, your head now resting against his chest. “You’d be a great parent too.”

There’s no doubt in your mind you would be and it hurts thinking about how unconditionally you’d love them despite all the other circumstances.

“It feels wrong to already think about having a family without them.” Your hand rests against your stomach and there’s your reminder again, another cramp ripping through you and making you whimper softly. Your painkillers are starting to wear off. “In a weird way it feels unfair to them.”

“It’s okay to feel guilty,” Hajime rests his hand on top of yours, “just try to remember we made this decision, because we probably couldn’t have given them the life they deserve and it sounds stupid to say, but I think they’ll understand.”

You hold onto your boyfriend tightly who gently rubs your back as you bury your face into his chest and you shudder against him, cries and sobs falling from your lips. “They’ll understand.” You repeat as if you’re trying to convince yourself of it.

“It’s okay, baby.” He whispers to you, kissing the top of your head. He’s trying to keep it together for you, but ultimately he loses the battle as well, sighing when tears finally start to fall.

FEEDBACK OF ANY KIND IS APPRECIATED

#rachel’s assignments #ra: fics #ra: iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu angst #hq imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime scenario #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi fluff

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weasleypogues · 3 years

Text

help pt.2 (r.c.)

after lots of requests asking for a part two!! i decided fuck it and to make it! hope u all enjoy! :) xxxxxx

part one here if you haven’t read it already!

masterlist.

after being in a relationship with rafe for a year now, you know how he handles his feelings and rationalizes them. it’s simple, he doesn’t. you’d watch and hear about him getting into fights with his sisters which was normal for siblings but you can see how he blew them out of proportion.

you knew for one thing that you weren’t in this relationship to solely be his therapist and fix him but you loved him and you help the ones you love. even if that means acknowledging that they may be in the wrong and helping them come to that realization to rationalize it.

however, no matter how many times you helped him and talked through everything with him, there were some nights in which a conversation was no use. there were only so many times that he felt as if he deserved help and other times where he resorted to drugs and drinking to ease his thoughts.

even though watching him blow your date off and throw a party as an excuse to push away his thoughts, you still cared for him. so when you walked away you didn’t hop in your car and speed off, but you invited yourself inside the large and dark house. you tiptoed your way to his room, not fully knowing who was home and who was asleep.

you found yourself in front of his door and placed your hand on the knob, turning it slightly and hearing the familiar creak of the hinges. you smelt the faint hint of the shower he had taken after you left and before the party. your eyes easily trailed the the outfit at the foot of his bed. it was not the outfit that you left him in and came to the conclusion that this was the outfit he was going to take you out in. you took a few steps to that outfit and lightly let your fingers trail along the stitching and buttons of his shirt, finally grasping it as tight as you could as you felt a lump in your throat form.

“(y/n)?” you heard a faint voice call out. you spun around and were face to face with wheezie who had her hair in two french braids and in her pajamas. she shined her phone in your direction to get a better look. you softly smiled and walked towards her, taking her in for a hug.

“hi wheeze. sorry, did i wake you?” you asked thoughtfully, pulling away and taking your shoes off in his doorway to throw them to the side. she put down her phone as her eyes finally adjusted to the moonlight shining in.

“nope, i could feel the bass bumping outside from here.” she chuckled. you looked into her soft brown eyes for a second and felt a tinge of guilt. you always tried to sympathize with everyone and put yourself in their shoes. you couldn’t imagine how wheezie felt. this was not the easiest household to grow up in, regardless of how it looks on the outside. she was only thirteen and already had her heartbroken. by her brother and father. and no matter how many times they pushed her to the side in their own frantics, she still put on a brave face and loved them. she was not as in the dark as she let off to be. she was intelligent and knew how to formulate her thoughts and actions.

“oh shit yeah, i’m sorry.” you apologized on behalf of rafe. she gave you a soft smile and shook her head, allowing one braid to fall from her shoulder to behind her back.

“don’t apologize for him, this is nothing new.” wheezie laughed off. you smiled off the situation as well, just accepting it at this point.

“what do you say we go out into town for brunch tomorrow? you and i?” you inquired, as a way of letting her know that you were there for her. because if you were there for rafe, you had to be there for everything that came from this relationship, and that meant his little sisters. a big smile grew on her face that warmed your heart and she nodded her head fast.

“totally down! i’ll start looking up cute places on google and let you know!” wheezie exclaimed, trying to contain some of her excitement. she turned around and excitedly ran back to her room upstairs. you closed rafe’s door, not all the way in hopes of letting some light from the hallway in.

making your way to his bathroom, you invited yourself to some of your toiletries that he practically begged you to keep here as an excuse to stay over more often. you grabbed make up wipes and your toothbrush and settled yourself before grabbing a tshirt of his and sliding off your dress. you placed your phone on the nightstand next to the bed, claiming your usual side of the bed before sliding under and shutting your eyes.

this slumber, if you could even call it that, felt like at least ten minutes when rafe had woken you up by barging through his door at least three hours later. your eyes fluttered open and tried their hardest to adjust quickly to the hallway light he was letting shine in your face. his glossy eyes lazily landed on your body under his covers and you swear you could see his shoulders relax. you gave your body a slight stretch and grabbed onto the top of the blanket and opened it up as an invite for rafe to hop in. rafe kicked off his shoes and stumbled his way to bed, which made your heart hurt a little.

“i thought you went home.” he slightly slurred, his eyes closing. he was lying on his back with the arm further from your resting on his forehead. the room must be spinning right now.

“i thought about it and maybe i had every right to, but i didn’t want to leave you.” you responded, in a mousier voice than you realized as this was the first words to leave your mouth since you woke up.

“why not? i fucking blew you off tonight. it was shitty.” he answered truthfully. you took a second and watched his chest rise and fall as he awaited an answer. you knew you were not here to be his savior but you were here to love him.

“it was shitty...but. but i know it’s because your psych yourself out and maybe feel like your in a valley rather than a peak. when your in peaks i love to see the smile on your face and make all these great memories with you. but when you’re in valleys, that is not the time for me to run and let you deal with everything on your own. i’m here to back you up and love you for you.” you responded, keeping your eyes on his rising and falling chest and letting your hand make it’s way to the center of it, feeling the faint beat of his heart. he took the free hand he had and grabbed your hand from his chest and kissed the top of it.

“i love you, (y/n).” rafe whispered, leaning over and kissing the top of your head. you both instinctively snuggled closer to each other and you could feel him squeeze you protectively. the moonlight and body warmth helped both of you fall asleep rather quickly.

waking up to the sunlight in the room shining through his two windows was almost as comforting as the fact that you woke up on your stomach with your hand still placed on his chest and his own hand resting on top of that. you could still feel the faint pitter patter and smiled softly to yourself. you slightly sat up to check the time on his nightstand where his clock sat. 9:17. you rolled your eyes playfully, thinking of the last time you saw that time, was last night when you hopped out of your car in front of his house. circumstances and conversations were different.

you slowly slid out from under the covers and made your way to the bathroom to freshen up quickly and grabbing a pair of his basketball shorts before heading to the kitchen for some water. grabbing a glass and filling it as quietly as you could you heard faint footsteps grow in volume as they entered the kitchen. you swiftly turned around and saw sarah walk in, opening up the fridge.

“mornin’.” sarah said, groggily and grabbing pre-made cold brew out of the fridge. you smiled softly as you brought the glass once at your lips down to the marble counter.

“morning. wheeze and i are going out to grab brunch if you wanna come out and make it a girls day!” you stated, lightly tapping your fingers against the glass. she made a face with a smile that looked like she was considering it and raised her eyebrows.

“i think i’ll take you up on that offer.” sarah responded, running a hand through her bed head and taking a sip. you smiled and felt slightly relieved, you and sarah were always nice to each other and were once even close but her and rafe’s relationship made you nervous to overstep. but you had to admit you missed how close you two were.

making your way back to rafe’s bedroom, you noticed his eyes fluttering open and he stretched, groaning in the meanwhile. he brought his hands to his head and rubbed his temples.

“need some advil babe?” you chuckled, grabbing the pill bottle from his dresser and going to hand him your glass of water. he groaned in response. as you handed the pill bottle to him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back in to bed. you couldn’t handle the scream that escaped your lips as you accidentally poured the water from your cup on the both of you.

he grabbed the cup and put it on the nightstand and wrapped his hands around your waist. rafe began planting kisses all over your face until you pulled away with a giant smile and realized you were straddling him. he smirked and checked you out before making his way back up to your eyes.

“i can get used to this sight.” rafe flirted and you felt your cheeks go hot as you rolled off of him.

“i gotta get ready.” you stated, chuckling and getting off the bed. you watched him dry swallow two ibuprofen and look at you with a shocked look on his face.

“get ready?” rafe said exasperatedly, lifting his torso off his bed and sitting up. you playfully rolled your eyes and grabbed your phone off the bed next to him.

“indeed. i’m having a girls only brunch with your sisters.” you said, flashing him a cheeky smile. he groaned and rolled his eyes, letting his body fall dramatically back on his bed. “oh, don’t be dramatic.” you heard his chuckle slightly fade out and you glanced over at him as he stared off into space.

“can you come back here later? or maybe i come to you? help me figure some of this “seeing someone to talk to” shit out. i don’t think i can do it alone.” he muttered, clearly a little embaraassed to admit it. you did not hesitate to walk over to him and grab his face in your hands before planting a kiss on his lips.

“anything for you, my love.” you whispered in front of his face and looked longingly into his eyes. you appreciated softer moments like this that reminded you of the sweet times you both had together. you pulled away after one more kiss. “i’m with you every step of the way.”

you stuck your pinky out to him and he again, playfully rolled his eyes, attempting to withhold the display of the oncoming smile on his face. he linked his pinky in yours and you both kissed your thumbs.

“i’m with you every step of the way.” he repeated. you both unlinked your fingers but let your hands graze each other as you walked closer to his doorframe.

“sarah, wheezie! ready whenever you are!” you yelled up, hearing two pairs of footsteps only a few moments after. you looked back and rafe winked at you as he put his hands behind his head. you laughed and caught up with his sisters in the foyer.

you were with each other every step of the way.

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sketchy-squiggles · 3 years

Text

Miles Edgeworth Gets A Migraine

A little over 1000 words of self-indulgent narumitsu.

Miles Edgeworth did not have a migraine. He simply had a headache, the kind that always followed a long day of reading case files, the dry, lengthy paragraphs making his vision blur. Sometimes, his vision stayed foggy when he looked up, with little dark splotches obscuring his sight in inky patches that resembled the notes he had scrawled on the sides of each paper. That was just what a hard day of work did to a person sometimes. A sign of focus.

“I dunno, that sounds like a migraine to me,” Wright replied after his lengthy explanation. He opened his mouth to argue but Wright cut him off and called down the hall, “Gumshoe, how often does he get migraines?”

“Hm maybe once every week or two,” the detective called back, “the calming tea is in the blue box on the shelf for it, pal.”

Edgeworth groaned and put a hand to his temple.

“I daresay I wouldn’t have a headache at all if my office were empty.”

The remark came out weaker than expected, as turning up to glare at his unwelcome visitor made Edgeworth’s head spin.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re looking a little pale to me.”

The genuine care in Wright’s voice made him feel more nauseous than the pain did, and his stomach did another flip.

“I am perfectly finngh!” Edgeworth slammed his hand on the table and winced at the sound. Sitting up made his vision swim again. He tried to look Wright in the eye again, to prove how serious he was, but the corner of the room housing Phoenix Wright became a blur that wouldn’t clear no matter how much he blinked.

“Objection,” a voice said much quieter than usual, and Edgeworth felt a hand come to steady his shoulder, “I don’t think you are. And I don’t think you’re going to take a break unless I make you.”

Now his coat was being slipped around his arms, the way someone would coax a child into one.

“Wright…” Edgeworth realized how little energy he had left to argue.

“Charge me for a consultation or something if you can’t stand not working, but I’m consulting you on how to walk you home.”

“You couldn’t afford it,” was all he could muster as he was marched out of his own office.

It would feel weird, having Wright in his house, if the pain in his head wasn’t distracting him. A hand prompted him to take off his coat, guided him up the stairs, and tried to get him to sit down; he obeyed all the suggestions mechanically, feeling like he was in a dream.

“I found some ibuprofen in your medicine cabinet, but you’re almost out,” Wright reappearing in the doorway started Edgeworth back into reality, “I got you some water to take it with too, unless you don’t drink tap water and have some fancier bottled kind you-”

“I am fine,” Edgeworth interrupted.

Nonetheless, he took the painkiller with a few swallows of water.

“I’m not going to argue if you’re fine again, but can I ask what makes your migraines go away?”

Edgeworth shrugged.

“Sleep, I suppose. When I wake the next day, the pain is gone, even if my head still feels a bit cloudy afterward.”

“So why not sleep?”

Again that earnest voice made his stomach do a flip.

Perhaps it was because they were in his home, a place with none of the expectations of their usual offices, that he found himself answering. The dim light and drawn curtains of the bedroom reminded him of the confessional feel of sleepovers from long ago, whispering secrets to a friend obscured by the dark.

“It is, for lack of better word...boring,” he turned his face in case Wright could see it growing red, “it may hurt to read or watch anything, but it doesn’t mean I’m tired, and sitting in the dark with nothing but a pounding head…and once I lie down, it’s too hard to get back up.”

He could feel his hand grip his sleeve in embarrassment. A hand was on his back but he couldn’t meet Wright’s eye; he didn’t want to see his pity.

“Alright, you got me,” the cheerful voice took him by surprise, “I guess you get to add another hour or two to this consultation bill.”

The bed creaked Phoenix Wright, rival attorney, made himself at home on the other side of the bed.

“You lie here and I’ll keep you company until you’re tired. Don’t worry, I have notes for a case on me that I can review, and I’m sure talking to me will bore you to sleep pretty fast.”

The absurdity of it all made Edgeworth laugh. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the bed.

“Yes, do enlighten me about what goes through that head of yours.”

Just as promised, he couldn’t remember what story Wright had been telling; Edgeworth didn’t realize he had even fallen asleep until he awoke hours later. It must have been late, because the room was completely dark, silent except for what sounded like the rhythmic breathing of someone sleeping. Edgeworth tried to remember Wright’s departure, if there was one at all, but his head felt too fuzzy to conjure up any memories. Finally, he rolled back over, grabbing the pillow next to him, and drifted off again.

The next time Edgeworth awoke it was morning. The daylight that peeked through the edges of the curtains was brighter than he was used to; he must have overslept. He bolted up at the realization and got his second shock of the morning. The pillow he had held on to last night was much larger than he thought. In fact, it was sporting crumpled up work clothes and a serious case of bedhead.

“Wright!”

The disheveled form of Phoenix Wright jolted up in bed next to him.

“Oh man, my bad, I must have dozed off too,” he said with a sheepish grin.

“Besides the point. What time is it, Wright?!”

“Don’t worry Edgeworth,” Wright yawned, “you didn’t oversleep. You were talking about how out of it you feel the day after a migraine so I had Maya cancel your morning appointments.”

“What?”

“Yeah, she said she just told everyone you had an urgent case against her to prosecute or something. It’s kinda sad that works, huh, but now you’ve got plenty of time to rest.”

“Oh.”

Edgeworth found himself at a complete lack of words, unsure if he should be angry or touched at the ways his rival had tried to look after him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a morning to himself, and he had most certainly never had a late morning-in with someone sleeping next to him. The reality of it made his cheeks burn; he looked over at Wright to see if he was anywhere near as flustered, but Wright had already rolled over to fall back asleep.

The sight made him feel one hundred different things at once that he couldn’t pin down. He had almost found a word for some of them when Wright sprung up from bed once again.

“Crap!” he yelled, “Maya didn’t cancel my appointments!”

#narumitsu #wrightworth #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright

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blonde-in-charge · 3 years

Text

Wildcard Chapter Two

Hello! Kat here! Anyways here is chapter two of Wildcard, I hope you guys like it. Please remember to like, repost, and comment if you enjoyed it! Please comment or message me if you would like to be apart of the taglist for this series, anyways enjoy!

Summary: Steve Rogers found you on the side of the road after a mission involving Hydra and convinced the Avengers to take you in. You have no name, no memories, and no idea of what you are capable of. All you know is that you are a super soldier with more hidden abilities than you care to admit. The first step to finding answers was to train you. Nobody, including you, knows what is up your sleeve.

Characters: Bucky x reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Random Hydra guy

Warnings: blood/violence and ass kicking, mentions of suicide, worried!bucky, maybe a lil bit of fluff, Bucky’s POV

Words: 2.6k

The elevator ride was silent on the way back to your floor. You were just so angry with yourself, you had no stamina when it came to your powers, even after training all day with Natasha and Tony. God forbid you joined in on missions, you would be killed on sight. You sighed loudly, your head was pounding. You checked your watch and realized it was past dinner time, fantastic. You couldn't wait to skip eating and go straight to bed. The elevator reached it destination and the doors slide open to reveal the floor you lived on to be completely dark and empty. You heard shuffling down the hallways and you had the urge to call out to Steve or Bucky. You remained silent and started to quietly make your way down the hallway. You heard shuffling and then felt a presence behind you. Before you knew what was happening, you had spun around to a looming figure over you and saw a glint of light in one of their hands. Knife.

It all happened so fast you barely registered that your body swung into action. You grabbed the assailant's arm and twisted the knife out of their hand before jumping up and wrapping your thighs around their neck. The man struggled clutching at your thighs, he slammed his back against the wall in an attempt to break your grip. Your head was pounding and you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears. You used all the momentum you had to swing your body downwards with the man wrapped in between your legs to slam him into the ground. The assailant was unphased and finally managed to rip you off of his back and neck. You fell to the ground but scrambled to get up as quickly as possible. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough to see the outline of the man as he stalked around you. You turned and sprinted down the hallway into the living area and kitchen and heard the man follow close behind. You ran full speed at one of the support beams and kicked off of it to throw yourself at him. The man grabbed your throat out of mid air and threw you to the ground, knocking the air from your lungs. You were being held by your throat against the cold tile, your vision slowly slipping away to black. You heard metal being ripped apart from down the hallway and the sound of heavy running. The air rushed back into your lungs as the man was thrown off of you and you rolled over automatically to suck in the most painful breath of air. You looked up to see who had joined you and saw Bucky standing over the limp man who just spit at him.

“Hello Soldat.” The man grinned up at Bucky in the dark. Bucky remained deathly still upon hearing the name, “It is good to see you are alive.”

You heard the door to the stairway slam open and looked down the hall to see two more figures run towards you, Bucky, and the man. You squinted and saw Steve standing next to Natasha, both ready to hurl themselves into the fight. The lights switched on and you looked over to see the man had managed to stand up and move towards the window. He was covered in blood and gave you a sickening smile with his yellow teeth, “Hail Hydra.” Your heart dropped as you picked yourself up and watched him break the glass of the window and jump. You ran forward stopping at the edge of the glass to peer over. The man had fallen almost 35 stories and was now limp and bleeding out against the pavement below. Your mouth was hanging open in a silent scream as you felt someone tug you back from the window. You gripped at the metal arm holding your waist as they pulled you away towards your own room. You were half dragged half carried to your room and when your eyes laid upon it, it had been ransacked and torn apart. Before you could process the situation, Bucky turned around and headed towards his own room. He set you gently upon the bed and you studied the dents in the door from when he forced it open. Bucky did not make eye contact with you as he started arranging the pillows around you to try and make you comfortable.

“Bucky.” You said quietly as you watched him, waiting for him to look at you.

Bucky ignored you and continued his fret around the room, trying hard to clean and make it comfortable for you. He set up a singular pillow and blanket on the ground and you watched him, realizing he was going to let you stay in his room, “Buck, look at me.” He stopped for a moment before turning around and meeting your eye.

Your face was tinted pink from the fight and your eyes were set in dark circles. The braid your hair was in originally was coming undone from the middle, with pieces of hair standing up in every direction. The sweatshirt you wore was torn under your left arm, leaving a huge hole that exposed your ribs. His eyes trailed down and rested at your neck and you felt yourself immediately ghosting your hand over what felt to be a huge bruise covering your neck from the assault. You knew the bruise would fade quickly, so did Bucky, but that did not stop the worried look in his eyes. You wouldn't admit to him you were traumatized, you knew he was too. The place you thought would be safe was broken into by the same people who destroyed the light in you both. You searched Bucky’s face and then he turned around to rummage through his drawers. He pulled out a long sleeve burgundy shirt and handed it to you without saying a word. You took the shirt in your hands and looked up at him to thank him but he had already made his way to the door, presumably to talk to Steve about what just happened.

You stood up and pulled your ruined sweatshirt over your head before you threw it into the corner of Bucky’s room, along with the sports bra you were wearing. You pulled the soft shirt over your head and stuck your arms into the sleeve holes. You pushed down and kicked off the leggings you were wearing and settled for the pair of boyshorts you were wearing underneath before you crawled back into the nest Bucky created around you. You pulled the elastic band out of your hair and ran your fingers through the soft waves the braid had created. The door reopened to Bucky holding a glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. You sighed almost forgetting about the throbbing behind your eyes. You nodded him thank you before popping open the bottle and pouring five little pills into your hand, ignoring the hard look the former soldier was giving you. You cupped your hand to your mouth letting the pills fall in before chasing them down with the glass of water in your other.

When the power went out, Bucky thought it was just another storm. He was staring up at the ceiling criticizing the way a storm could take out the power in the Avengers Tower, shouldn't there be a backup generator in this place? Bucky ignored the familiar click of the door as it locked him into his own room, a safety precaution he was well aware of. The silence overtook his room, all he could hear was his steady heart beat in his ears, until it wasn't. He could hear the faint sound of struggling outside of his door and he sat himself up to stare at the silver door. His heart beat grew louder in his ears as he pushed himself out of the bed and towards the door to press his ear against it. A loud thump against the wall caused him to flinch and jump back from the door. He ran his fingers through his hair, he couldn't leave this room, surely someone would come up and help whoever was being attacked, right? He racked his brain for answers as soon as he heard the running past his door. Who lived on this floor? Himself, Steve and-

The thumping in Bucky’s ears grew louder, he pressed his ear to the door and heard someone get thrown against the ground, and the sound of them gasping for air. He reeled back and slammed his body against the door over and over again, barely leaving a dent in the thick metal. He took a deep breath and tried wedging the fingers of his left hand into where the door was locked, and he grunted as the door fought him. He opened the door enough to get out, surely leaving a dent in the side of the door where his metal arm had crushed it. He ran towards the noises of struggle and rounded the corner to see you being held to the ground by your throat. Your eyes looked straight through Bucky’s and rage washed over him as he threw himself at the man to tackle him off of you. The sound of you inhaling your first breath was music to Bucky’s ears as he pulled himself up looking at the silhouette of a man against the window.

Bucky’s breath was ragged from the amount of anger that welled up inside of him. He could see the man grin at him before he said, “Hello Soldat,” Bucky’s breath stopped and he remained frozen in place as the man spit blood at him then continued to speak with a thick russian accent that was laced with venom, “It is good to see you are alive.”

The man in front of him glanced behind Bucky, and Bucky realized he didn't register the lights clicking on or the sound of Steve and Natasha's steps behind him. The man grinned wickedly with yellow teeth before making dead eye contact with you, “Hail Hydra.” Was the last thing he said before glass shattered and he was falling towards the ground below. You flew past Bucky to the window sending him into a panic that you would follow the man to the ground. Bucky leaped forward and grabbed you around your waist with his left arm and dragged you back. Steve watched you both with fear and anger swirling in his eyes, made eye contact with Bucky in a silent plea to calm their friend. Bucky turned his attention to you for the first time to see the look of absolut horror written all over your face, he could feel your body shaking against his. He didn't let himself think about it too much as he half dragged you to your room. Bucky saw the absolute chaos of the room before you did and turned around and headed in the direction of his own, praying you didn't see your room in the state it was in. That man wanted something from you or him, Bucky’s mind was reeling as he sat you on his bed, your tired eyes looking up at him. His anxiety was through the roof so he just started moving. He didn't want you leaving his side until it was safe for both of you, Bucky moved around his room picking up pillows and blankets to put near you.

“Bucky.”

He arranged the pillows behind you, careful to keep his distance while working. He turned around and scanned his room before setting up something for him to sleep on, on the ground.

“Buck, look at me.” Bucky stopped completely and slowly turned around to face you. His eyes scanned you up and down before resting on your own eyes. He could tell you were tired, he admired the brave face you were putting on, no doubt for him. His eyes glanced down to see the faded navy blue sweatshirt you wore so often was torn, he turned towards his dresser and pulled out his most comfortable long sleeve shirt. He knew you preferred long sleeves the same way he did, you both had something to hide, a piece of your past written on both of your arms. Bucky remained silent before walking out of the room to give you privacy and he walked straight into the living room where Steve was speaking in hushed tones to Natasha and Tony.

Steve looked up and regarded Bucky with concern, “How is she doing?”

“How the hell did he get into the tower?” Was the first thing Bucky had said in hours.

Tony’s jaw was clenched, “Friday was shut down for updating, it's a monthly thing that leaves our defenses down, I have no idea how he knew exactly when I was going to do it.” Bucky could tell Tony blamed himself, which made him feel slightly better.

“She doesn't feel safe here, and frankly, neither do I.” Bucky said quietly, although you never verbally said it, Bucky could tell by the way you were holding yourself.

Steve looked away from Bucky and nodded with understanding, “We will have a safe house set up for both of you in the next couple hours, it would be best that you leave while it's dark.”

“We are not splitting up.” Bucky said staring into Steves eyes

“Buck-” Steve started but Tony cut him off

Tony started “Look sunshine, it will be too easy to find you if you are both in the same place, Hydra could-”

“I don't care. We aren't splitting up, the last thing she needs is to be alone” He knew you could handle yourself alone he said it mostly for himself, he didn't want to be alone again.

Steve looked at him with knowing eyes, “Alright, fine. I will come get you when the safe house is ready, just go be there for her right now, okay?”

Bucky didn’t even respond to Steve; he just nodded and turned towards the kitchen. He filled a glass up with water and hunted down the bottle of pain relievers to bring to you. Bucky re-entered his own room, ignoring the gap between the center of his door and the wall from when he ripped it open. His eyes fell upon you wearing his shirt and snuggled into his bed when he handed you the items in his hands. You poured a handful of ibuprofen and Bucky gave you a look that said ‘really?’

He realized he hasn't said anything up until this point and then he cleared his throat watching you wash down the pills, “They are moving us into a safe house later tonight, Friday was breached when it- she was down for maintenance,” Bucky caught the flicker of worry in your eyes, “We will be in the safe house together.” He was content as some of the worry dissolved from your face, “For now you should get some rest…”

He started to sit himself on the ground and you reached out to grab his arm, “Will you stay up here with me?” He looked into your eyes at the silent begging which made him nod his head. He has never been this close to you before, he hasn't been this close to anyone since the war. His body was vibrating with anxiety as he climbed into the nest of pillows and blankets on the bed. You threw your legs over his and buried your face into his chest, then sighed into him with contentment. Bucky’s body was extremely tense until he felt you relax into his right side. He stared up at the ceiling and felt your chest rise and fall against the side of his body. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x avenger!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #marvel imagine

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stardustedknuckles · 2 years

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Processing my spider bite and all the stuff that came with it is going to take months and years, but every now and then I get a piece of the experience lodged in my head and today I'm wondering what the nurses thought when I walked in feverish but cheerful with my backpack already loaded with my meds, my switch, my stuffed dog, and a hoodie.

Oh and the rash from head to toe, complete with the red line running from the bite up to my armpit/towards my heart.

Like the whole way there dad was saying they'd probably give me a new antibiotic and let me go again, but he took me because that line was the only thing I knew to look for, the only signal I really had that this had progressed beyond the at-home regiment of Tylenol and ibuprofen, interspersed with 3 days of prednisone and an antibiotic that had me convinced for a few hours a day that I was going to die. I remember the triage nurse's face when my response to her saying it was a good thing I came in was "oh good, I was worried this was a bill I could've avoided and I was overreacting." Dad didn't think it was serious and on some level neither did I, but I asked and he took me to the hospital and thank god. (that nurse's face though lmao. Just stunned, then: "no this looks really really bad and I've been here for decades.")

I'm thinking about how people say that if you can walk yourself into the emergency room you're not a priority, contrasted with how very, very close I came to septic shock. I didn't realize until after it all that I had actually been septic when I walked in. I just wasn't crashing yet. How if I hadn't seen on Google to watch for that specific symptom I would've probably gone to sleep dealing with the same nausea and fever I'd had for the three days since I'd been bitten and how much of being alive or not is just stupid, ridiculous luck. I still wake up sometimes with my heart racing like I'm back in the hospital because for the first three nights I was there my mind slammed me awake just to make sure I could still wake up at all. (then they gave me Ativan and that stopped that for a few days.)

There's no big point to this post. I just pulled out a shirt I hadn't worn since before the bite and got to thinking specifically about how I'd never even been to the hospital, let alone stayed seven days, and packed a bag even as I assumed they'd wave me back out the way minor emergency had done twice already.

I'm not afraid of spiders as I finally turn the corner on the wound really starting to heal - I'm afraid of the sheer ridiculous randomness of my life being turned upside down because I smashed one literally in my sleep when it crawled on my arm. The bite woke me. There is seriously nothing I could've done to prevent it - that's what fucks with me. I did everything right, and in the end it was still up to luck. It is so hard to imagine trying to put effort into a life when it can go just like that, and at the same time I want more than I ever have to try.

#I've been a little delicate recently about my worth not only as a writer but just a person #Like I owe someone for still being alive and I don't know how to earn it #Idk it's been weird #My arm looks like raw hamburger but the dead chunk of flesh is finally out #It's all new #No more worries about rot #Officially in the clear etc #So now that my mind sees this as pretty much fully over from here it's trying to go back and make sense of what happened #And I'm over here like please could we take a couple months of normalcy first I beg #spider dax chronicles

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the-record · 3 years

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Headaches and Hospitals

A/N: I love JJ idk why so many people crap on her. And we need more JJ content pleasee

Summary: Who would’ve thought that passing out would lead you to the best decisions you have ever made?

CW: Marriage, pregnancy, hospitals, little mentions of the case. Nothing to serious just lots of fluff.

You felt like crap. Like you just wanted to get back in bed and not get up but you had tons of paperwork to do. You got ready like usual and tried to hide how sick you felt.

“Morning kid.”

“Hey Morgan.” You sat in your chair and rubbed your temples, trying to get rid of you stubborn headache. You pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen and took some with some of your water.

“Hey, babe are you ok?” You looked up to your girlfriend standing next to you.

“It’s just a headache Jayje.” You smiled and kissed the top of your head. “I’m going to go make coffee do you want a cup?” She nodded.

“That would be nice, thank you. Just bring it to my office-nope conference room, we have a case.” You stood up to go get her coffee and felt dizzy. You closed your eyes and held onto your desk to keep steady. “Woah, you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Go get ready I will bring you some coffee.” She did so but was very hesitant about it. You brought her the coffee and sat down in your usual spot.

“Thank you. Cincinnati Ohio, 3 women found in their houses. Women were all choked to death.”

“How do you know they were choked?” Derek questioned. JJ clicked the remote and pictures of the women being choked. You looked away and down at your file. You looked at dead bodies all the time but for some reason, this just made your stomach churn.

“Has Garcia been able to track the pictures and where they came from?” You asked.

“No. They were printed. Someone scanned them to show us.” You nodded.

“No visible tattoos. No marks to define him at all. Wearing gloves so he left no DNA, this guy really thought of everything.”

“This has to be premeditated. He somehow gets into the house without breaking in or scaring them, and then corners them maybe?” Emily pointed out.

“Which is exactly why we have to leave soon. The time is getting shorter between each murder. Wheels up in 30.”

“All of the women look similar to each other. All of them have blonde hair, similar heights, and they are all wearing almost identical dresses. Garcia do any of the victims have a partner?” She clicked her mouse a couple of times.

“Yes. From what it looks Abby was just proposed to, Cheyenne had a long term boyfriend, and Kayla was about to get married.” She sounded so disappointed as he talked.

“So if his long term partner left him, then he was angry. Whoever she is, she was the trigger.” You added.

“Ok, JJ I want you and Y/N to talk to victims families and partners. Emily, Reid and Derek go to the latest crime scene. Me and Rossi will go down to the M.E.’s office.” You moved back to where you and JJ sat before. Your headache slowly was getting worse but you had to ignore it. You had a job to do.

“Y/N, are you ok?” You looked at your girlfriend.

“Baby, I promise I’m fine. I probably just need something to eat. As soon as we land I will grab something ok?”

“Fine, but I don’t want you stressing yourself out to much. You look tired, like you haven’t been sleeping.” She moved into the chair next to yours. “Get some rest, it’s a short ride but a nice nap might help.” You smiled at her. She was always concerned for your well being and never left you alone if she thought something was wrong. She was stubborn but a good person. You rest your head on her shoulder and cuddle up on the chair. She lays her head on yours as you drift to sleep. She was right, you did need some sleep, but the nap was no help. You still had a headache and got dizzy once more while walking in to the cars. She drove both of you to the police department where you met with the families. You started with the latest victim, Kayla’s fiancé Matt.

“Hi Matt. I’m Jennifer Jareau and this is Agent Y/N Y/L/N. We have a couple of questions for you if that’s ok.” He nodded and you sat down next to him.

You spent the next 20 minutes talking to Matt about his fiancée. You felt an overwhelming amount of sadness hearing how he talked about her. She was a insanely good person who took every precaution. After you had finished your questions your thanked him and moved on to the next family. Each of them brought your moods down even more. JJ had been helping you with the questions because she was still new to profiling. You had helped her study and get ready for everything when she was becoming one and it made you so proud. When she came back to the BAU you were so happy because this meant she wouldn’t have to leave for her job anymore.

By the time you had finished your headache was 5 times worse than it was this morning. You closed your eyes and held your head in your hands.

“Not getting any better?” You shook your head. “Why don’t I take you to the hotel?”

“No that’s fine. We have a lot of work to do.”

You spent the rest of your day trying to make up a geological profile with Reid and JJ. Nothing was happening and everything just sucked.

After 6 days of work and 2 more victims, you got a call from someone saying a man broke into her house. You all geared up because he changed is M.O. on the last victim and used a gun. You drove with the Derek and Emily to the house. You 3 went in the front and Hotch, Rossi, and Reid went through the back. Everything was going well until you were about to catch the Unsub. You started to feel dizzy, your vision was fading and suddenly you were falling. Luckily Reid was behind you and noticed you shifting before you fell.

“I swear I am going to murder that girl. I kept telling her to rest and relax for a second but she wouldn’t listen. God she is so stubborn.” You woke up in a hospital from hearing your girlfriends voice.

“Mmm, I learn from the best.” You reached for your girlfriends hand.

“You’re so lucky I love you Y/L/N.”

“I am pretty lucky huh. Come here.” You moved over in the hospital bed and set a place for her to lay down. “Lay down. Don’t be stubborn come here.” She smirked slightly and laid down. She put her arm around you as you rest your head on her chest. She ran her fingers through your hair. “I love you Jennifer Jareau.” You whispered.

“I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.” She kissed the top of your head and you held her hand.

“We should get married.” You looked up at her and smiled. “Right? Jennifer Jareau, I love you so much. I don’t have a ring or anything but, will you marry me?” She pulled you in for a kiss. “I’m taking that as a yes?”

“You bet your ass that’s a yes. On one condition.” You nodded. “You stop fainting in front of unsubs.” You smiled and pulled her in for a sweet kiss. You sat there for a second before she pulled away.

“Sounds like a deal. The moment we land, I am taking you and we are going ring shopping.” She smiled.

“I think that’s a great plan.”

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Your legs felt like jello as you stood at the alter, waiting for JJ to walk down. When you did see her, she was absolutely gorgeous. You wore the jumpsuit the both of you picked out and she wore dress. You couldn’t help but stare at her beauty as she walked down the aisle. “God you’re gorgeous.” You saw her blush at your compliment. She took your hands and Emily started officiating. You weren’t really listening much though, you were too focused on the woman in front of you.

“Jennifer Jareau. When I first met you, all I thought about was how kind and beautiful you were. I knew that you had to be my person. I had to at least be friends with that girl. And luckily I got just that. I’ll be honest, when you met Will I was kind of disappointed. I thought, I wont ever get her, I was too late. But I couldn’t be happier that you met him because now you have Henry. I love that kid so much, he brings so much joy in to everyone’s life. And, Will sorry, when you and Will broke up, I was elated. I knew that I had to take my chance. So I gave you some time to cope with everything before deciding it was now or never. When you said yes to that date, I thought I would cry. When I stayed over the first time, I thought it would be weird with Henry. I thought he wouldn’t want me to stay over. Luckily that kid takes after you. He is kind, and smart, and has terrible eating habits. When he cuddled up to me for the first time I did cry. I cried because your baby trusted me and that’s the most important thing to me. I promise to take care of him everyday and to love him wholeheartedly. Loving you means loving him and I am nothing but prepared to shower him with love and respect. I love you so much Jayje.” You saw a tear roll down her cheek as Henry came up to you. You held him on your hip, both of you placing a kiss on his head before JJ started her vows. Her promise to you.

“Y/N Y/L/N. If you could hear the phone call of me telling Emily you had asked me on a date, it would consist of us both screaming into the phone. The night we went out together I fell in love. I didn’t realize what I had been missing my entire life. I was hesitant to ask you to say over that night because I was worried about how Henry would react, but you were so good to him. You always have been. And whenever I saw you with Henry my heart grew and so did my love for you. You have been nothing but good to me and him and I couldn’t ask for a better person to help me parent my child. You however are so stubborn. Like the most stubborn person I have ever met. You wouldn’t go back to the hotel for one day. You wouldn’t relax for one day and I guess I can’t be mad because if you had, if you had started to feel better that day, we wouldn’t be here in this moment. We aren’t the most typical couple but I couldn’t ask for someone better. Thank you for everything you have done for me and Henry. We both love you some much.”

“By the power of your love and commitment, and the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wives! You may now kiss the bride.” You didn’t hesitate for a second as she pulled you into a kiss.

You smiled at your new wife sitting in front of you, taking in her beauty when you heard Emily tapping her glass. “If I could have everyone’s attention. Hi, I’m Emily. I met these women around 6 years ago and if I could take back everything and change it, I wouldn’t. When I joined the BAU I met these two women who were extremely clingy and affectionate but only towards each other. When I heard that Y/N had proposed I cried. Like I cried and I think Garcia has proof. The kindest women I had ever met have fallen in love and I was lucky enough to witness it. I was gone for some time and protected by them. They both risked all of their friendships to keep me safe, even if it meant putting themselves in danger. Everyday they save people without fail. If you haven’t met him already, next to JJ, is her son Henry. He wrote something for me to read, so here goes. ‘Dear Y/N. Thank you for making my mama happy. Before she was sad and it made me sad. You made her happy and made me happy.’” You felt the tears start to form in your eyes and called Henry to come sit in your lap. You held him close as Emily continued to read. “‘Thank your for being so nice to me and making me cakes all the time. They are really good. I love you mom.’” When you heard the last thing, the tears started to flow. You held the little boy even closer, whispering ‘I love you too’ in his ear. It was the first time he ever called you his mom. “I think that just perfects the night. I would continue but I cannot top that. Congratulations ladies. We all love you so much.” She raised her glass. “To Y/N and JJ. May they have their happily ever after.” You raised your glasses and clinked them while setting in a sweet kiss.

“Ew!” You laughed and pulled away at Henry’s comment.

“Ok little man.” You grabbed her hand. “May I have this dance?” JJ held your hand and you led her to the dance floor, your arms around her waist and hers around your neck. Her head laid on your chest, underneath your chin, as the both of you swayed. “Thank you.”

She looked at you. “For what?” A smiled grew on your face.

“Everything. Loving me. Trusting me with Henry. Taking care of me. Letting me take care of you. I love you Mrs. Jareau.”

“I love you too Mrs. Jareau.” Everything else was a blur. Everything but her.

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“Can we talk?” You sat her down on the couch.

“Y/N are you ok?” You could see the concern on her face.

“I’m fine. I wanted to ask you something.” She nodded to give you permission to ask the question. “Jayje, I wanna have a baby.” Her face lit up.

“Really?” You nodded and she pulled you into a hug. “Of course.”

That week the both of you did a crazy amount of research. You found a good doctor and made an appointment. A couple months later you were pregnant. You were both ecstatic.

“JJ. We are going to have a baby.”

You had both decided that you wanted to wait to tell the team in case something happened. However it became very hard to do this because your emotions were everywhere. The extra hormones you had to take were wearing off a little at this point but now the hormones you produced during pregnancy were taking over. Your temper was short and you cried all the time. You had morning sickness as well so you were constantly sick. The team thought something was up but didn’t ask what was happening. At 4 months you decided to tell the team because you were starting to show and eventually you wouldn’t be able to hide it. You decided to tell them right before a case.

“Wheels up in 30.”

“Um, before any of your guys go, me and JJ have something to tell you.” Everyone waited around but they looked nervous.

“You guys are still together right? And neither of you are leaving, right?” You smiled at shook your head at Penelope.

“No, well kind of but no we aren’t leaving and yes, we are still together.” You looked at JJ before pulling out a small box and handing it to Hotch. “Will you open this?” He nodded and took the box from you without question. JJ held your hand. He let out a small gasp and smiled.

“What? Hotch, what is it?” Derek questioned. He took the ultrasounds out and placed them on the table. There was an audible gasp before the team looked at you. Penelope was the first to run over.

“Congratulations you two! Wait, who is pregnant?” You looked at your wife and raised you hand slightly.

“Congrats mamas.” Derek came over and hugged the both of you. Then Rossi, Blake, Hotch, and finally Spencer.

“If either of you need anything, just tell me.” You smiled and held your arms out for a hug. He accepted and you felt calm again. You had grown close with Spencer over the years. He was one of your best friends and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. You pulled away but still held his arms in your hands.

“Thank you Spence. Really.” He smiled and congratulated JJ before walking out with the team. You stood behind with JJ. “So what do you say baby? Should we go kick some ass?”

“I don’t think you’ll be doing much ass kicking.” You scoffed at her comment.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” She kissed you softly and whispered her next words on your lips.

“You struggled to put your shoes on this morning.” You stood there stunned as she pulled away and began to go get ready.

“I cannot believe you!” She smirks as she walks away.

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You decided to stop going out on the field at 6 months. Babies sometimes come early, why risk that. Why risk getting hurt on the field. You had everything figured out. You were 8 months getting slowly closer to 9. You would stay and help Garcia during everything. JJ was going to be there during the birth no matter where she was and everything was going to be perfect.

You knocked on Garcia’s office door. “Good morning lovely lady. How is the case going?” You weren’t feeling well that morning so you decided to rest a little after the sitter took Henry to school.

“Good so far I think. You doing ok?” You smiled and nodded.

“Yes. Ready to not be pregnant anymore but I’m ok.” Little did you know, your wish shall soon be granted. “How’s JJ? I was going to call her this morning but didn’t want to interrupt anything.”

“She’s good. She told me to tell you that she loves you. She really does you know. Like, I have never seen anyone love somebody so much.” You smiled.

“I love her too. Well I am with you today.” You pulled the chair you guys had put in her office when you first started staying back from cases. Her office was nice. Busy, but relaxing.

You spent the day with her, and the team at times, trying to figure things out. Henry came for a visit after school as the babysitter had a class she couldn’t miss. He sat in the ‘Batcave’ with you and Garcia playing with some toys she had. The day was long and nothing happened for awhile. Nothing happened until your baby decided to make their big entrance.

You had felt some contractions throughout the day just assuming they were Braxton hicks. You were good about hiding them too, but still Garcia noticed.

“Y/N, are you ok honey?” You smiled at her and nodded.

“Just a contraction. I’m okay.” Her jaw dropped.

“No ma’am. We are getting you to the hospital. Hey Henry? Can you pack up your ruck sack for me? We need to get Y/N somewhere, I think you might get to meet your little sibling today!” Henry instantly smiled and was frantically picking up. He walked next to you as Garcia took you downstairs. You called JJ as soon as you go into the car.

“Hey baby, you ok?” JJ questioned.

“No. I’m not. JJ you need to get on the jet and get down here now.” You yelled. The pain was starting to kick your ass.

“What? Y/N, what’s happening?” Garcia took the phone and put it on speaker.

“Hi JJ, you’re on speaker with Henry in the car. I am driving Y/N to the hospital, she was starting to have contractions and on our way out her water broke.” You heard JJ audibly gasp before hearing her yell at Hotch. She was screaming at him to get her on the jet which calmed you down surprisingly.

She stayed on the phone with you the entire time you drove to the hospital but you hung up when you got there. They got you into a room where you sat with Garcia and Henry until Will came to pick him up. Your labor was long, thankfully, so JJ was there for the birth of your daughter. The first time you held her, neither of you could take you eyes off of her.

“Do you have any name ideas?” JJ asked. You looked up and smiled for a moment before turning back to your daughter.

“I was thinking Rosaline.” You thought back to your wedding night. To your bestfriends speech before she left to go to London.

“Rosaline Emily Jareau.” You smiled and nodded.

“Hi Rosaline. We’re your moms.”

The introductions of your daughter was sweet. Hotch was asked to be her godfather and Emily her godmother. Garcia spoiled her rotten with gifts. Spencer eventually taught her new fun things. Derek taught her how to play softball and JJ taught her soccer. Rossi also spoiled her with love and gifts. When Emily got back she tried to teach her how to weald a gun, that however didn’t last long. Even as the team spilt apart, they all were there for her. You couldn’t ask for a better family.

#Jennifer Jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau fluff #jennifer jareau fanfiction #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #david rossi #emily prentiss #henry lamontagne #Penelope Garcia #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds fluff

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satanwithboobs · 3 years

Text

self-care | GN!MC x OM brothers

tw: mentions of reckless behavior, the brothers are demons so they essentially roofie MC but.. for their own good...? it’s not okay and I’m pretty sure Beel is the only one who feels like they did something wrong.

a/n: okay so this is really long (nearly 2,400 words), and it just sort of happened. mainly inspired by my history of reckless behavior when it comes to my health and my resolve not to let the stress of my upcoming week make me resort to bad habits. and before anyone wonders... the anecdote in the story? yeah that really happened. I gave myself stomach ulcers because I kept taking ibuprofen (it was for a horrible tooth ache) and I didn’t eat anything but saltines for days while I finished up a final project. word to the wise: don’t be like me. I’m dumb.

self care is important, everyone! I know a lot of people are starting school again, so please!!! take!! care!! of!!! yourselves!!

—

Lucifer was the first to notice something was up with MC, though initially he paid it no heed.

Naturally, he had always prided himself (of course) on his superior attention to detail, and

He had noticed them drinking cups of coffee and energy drinks a whole lot more often than usual, but given that finals were coming up, he figured they were simply trying to keep more awake for the sake of their studies.

None of this was healthy, of course, but he’d wait to scold them if it truly became worth his while to do so.

And so, he went on with his business, offering them advice as he had on many occasions before. He had even been kind enough to tutor them without the aid of his whip or his fire, something he would never do with any of his brothers. At one point he even let a snide comment under their breath go with just a stern warning.

He truly had gone soft, but he supposed it was best if he didn’t traumatize the human he and his brothers had formed such a strong bond with just for the sake of grades.

And while he had been the first to notice their new habits - all of his brothers had eventually caught on to what was going on.

It was the Saturday before finals that they all finally acknowledged that something needed to be done.

—

“They’re looking truly frightening!” Asmo exclaimed, and while typically his statements were brushed off by the rest as pure hyperbole, they all had to agree with this one. “They’ll get wrinkles in no time if they keep this up...”

“Yeah, somethin’ needs to be done,” Mammon commented, earning nods from his brothers — a truly rare occurrence in the House of Lamentation.

“Maybe I can plan a spa day!” Asmo interjected, an excited expression on his face.

“I don’t think havin’ ya feel ‘em up all day would help anythin,” Mammon grumbled, earning a scowl from the fifth-born in return.

“Perhaps...” Satan started.

“No,” Lucifer retorted, earning a look from the wrathful fourth-born.

He simply continued as if daggers weren’t being glared in his direction, “I don’t care how many times you try and paint it as a benefit for us all, you will not get a cat.”

Satan muttered something that sounded a lot like, “dammit,” under his breath, along with a couple of choice words that Lucifer ignored for the sake of pushing the conversation forward.

“I know! There’s this new TSL ultra-special extended-cut series box set that we can marathon! It has never-before-heard director commentary, along with a limited edition SIGNED replica of the—”

“That’s just gonna wind ‘em up even more!” The second-born responded, getting fed up with this already.

In truth, he was mainly irritated at himself for failing to notice that MC had gotten so bad. He was their first guy, he should’ve known!

“For once, I have to agree with Mammon,” the Avatar of Pride earned six dumbfounded looks with that, with Belphegor actually opening his eyes and Beelzebub nearly choking on the bite of food in his mouth.

“MC needs sleep, not distractions,” he went on without missing a beat, “I very much doubt they’ve had more than four hours of sleep in the last five days, so that must be our first priority.”

“How do you suggest we do that? It isn’t like MC will concede easy, we all know how stubborn they are,” Satan asked.

“Simple,” Lucifer proclaimed, as his gaze fell upon the youngest brother, who had already fallen into a deep slumber once again. “We use force.”

Upon feeling the eyes of all his brothers fall on him, Belphegor stirred, a single violet eye opening. He grumbled, not bothering to sit up properly as he regarded the eldest with a tired expression.

“What?”

—

Lucifer had explained the very simple two-step ‘plan’ to Belphegor (step no. 1, corner the human so they can’t slip away - step no. 2, Belphie makes them sleep), and they were about to begin discussing when to put their plan into motion when footsteps echoed outside the common room.

MC walked in, looking a bit more than a little worse for wear (while their clothes and hair looked fine given the circumstances, the bags under their eyes had become so prominent that they were basically their own entity at this point).

“Oh, that’s where you guys were. I was wondering why the place was so quiet,” they tried to joke, but it came out in such a monotone way that it just sounded more like a simple statement.

Their brow furrowed a bit when they got no response from the seven demons, but they shrugged it off and put their bag down on the table, beginning to take out the many books they were going to need. They’d been barricaded in their room for quite some time, but they had needed a change of scenery. Not to mention, their bed had been way too tempting...

The silence in the room was deafening - even in their bleary state they could tell something was off - so eventually they turned around to see six pairs of eyes scrutinizing their every move (Belphegor was asleep, which didn’t surprise them.

“You guys are starting to freak me out,” they stifled a yawn and moved to grab their coffee, in desperate need of another pick-me-up.

If they had any hope of grasping the concepts in Devildom Law, they’d need it—

They were confused when they didn’t find it where they had left it - on the table, two seconds earlier - but not so when they noticed that Lucifer had suddenly appeared right next to them, their coffee in hand.

“Uhh, Luci? Kinda need that,” they let out a laugh and outstretched their hand, silently asking for it back.

“No, you’re cut off,” he declared, earning a sigh from MC. It wasn’t like they had been caught dancing on the tables after a few too many shots of Demonus. It was just coffee.

“You guys are worried, aren’t you? Well, don’t be. It’s not like I haven’t done this sort of thing dozens of times before, I’ll be fine,” they tried to reassure, though in truth they had never been forced to study nearly as hard as they had for the classes at RAD.

“No, what yer gonna do is let us take care of ya’. Don’t ya trust us?” Mammon said gruffly, earning a look from the human.

“Yeah... you’re really fragile, being a human, and..” Beelzebub started, before trailing off with a frown, remembering they didn’t particularly like being told that. Even if it was objectively true.

“Seriously? I’m being lectured by a bunch of demons on healthy lifestyle choices?” They said, exasperated. “I already said, I’ve done so much worse before. Not sure if I ever mentioned it, but this one time I was up for three nights straight in college.. Gave myself stomach ulcers during finals week because all I had to eat was a sleeve of saltines and some ibuprofen—” they laughed a bit before realizing - upon seeing everyone’s concern only increase - maybe that particular story wasn’t the best one to tell right at that very moment.

MC turned back to Lucifer, shooting him a pleading look. “I need to do well on these finals, Lucifer. I’m not going to make you guys look bad by completely bombing them all.”

The look in his eyes softened for a moment, before he sent someone behind them a terse nod.

Of course, they figured out just a little too late that this was far more than simply a discussion about their unhealthy sleeping habits.

They didn’t even need to look behind them to feel the overwhelming presence of the youngest brother weighing down on them.

While Belphie had done this sort of thing to them once or twice on accident while taking a nap nearby, it had never felt this.. overpowering.

They shot Lucifer a look, and he responded with a somewhat sympathetic look of his own.

“You can’t be serious about...” they trailed off, trying and failing to stifle a yawn. “About.. this....”

MC soon fell into the waiting arms of the eldest, out like a light.

Lucifer let out a soft chuckle as he scooped them up bridal-style, giving a quick nod to Beelzebub who had picked up his twin the same way.

It was a side-effect of the youngest’s ability; he could make someone of his choosing fall into a deep sleep if he wanted, but he’d always do the same.

It was kind of annoying, but it wasn’t like he didn’t spend most of the time sleeping anyway. At least he had full control over how long the other person slept and would always wake at the same time they did.

Now that he thought about it, he’d have to find an excuse to do this again sometime. Naps were way less fun when the person you’re napping with insists on getting up before you wanted them to.

“Pretty sure that’s a record for Belphie,” Satan mused, “I’ve never seen someone pass out like that in less than 10 seconds.”

—

Beelzebub happily chomped down on the many food items he had been supplied with as he waited for his twin and MC to awaken.

The rest of his brothers would have hated having to wait so long, but as long as he had food and his two favorite people in front of him....

Beel looked up from his snack when he heard the pair stir.

An annoyed expression settled on MC’s face as they opened their eyes, completely erasing the peaceful look they held moments before.

Beel frowned, knowing they had a reason to be annoyed, but also knowing that this was all for their own good.

Their face softened ever-so-slightly when they noticed Beelzebub, the one brother they could never stay mad at.

They were about to sit up when they realized there was an arm loosely caged around their waist. Behind them, they could feel the soft and slow breathing of the youngest demon brother, as if he wasn’t already awake.

They attempted to move away, but the loose grip quickly tightened, pushing them flush against Belphegor’s chest.

A satisfied hum escaped their ‘captor’ when MC gave up and sighed.

“You’re welcome,” Belphegor said tiredly, nuzzling his face in their neck, much to their chagrin.

“I can’t believe you guys...” they finally said, their voice still rough from sleep. “How long?”

Beelzebub frowned again, knowing they wouldn’t like the answer. “18 hours,” he finally said, bracing for the response.

“Wait, 18 hours?!” MC rolled their eyes when the demon behind them groaned at the exclamation. “I’m going to miss—”

“I arranged for your deadlines to be extended, don’t worry,” MC stiffened when they heard the eldest’s voice, knowing their inevitable lecture was likely to come sooner rather than later.

They moved to sit up again, though this time their living restraint let it happen, turning over to hopefully get just 5 more minutes of sleep...

The human winced upon seeing the stern gaze Lucifer was giving them, though his eyes were notably softer than usual.

“While I appreciate the unwavering dedication to your studies,” he started, moving to sit on the edge of the bed near the two former sleeping beauties, “you do need to take care of yourself.”

“Achievement means nothing if you end up comatose before you reach the finish line.”

MC looked down, guilt settling on their face. Fair point from the Avatar of Pride.

“I—” they tried to start, but a gloved finger pressed against their lips before they could get anywhere.

“No arguments.”

MC sighed, tossing a defeated look to the eldest. All they got in response was a chuckle and his signature smug look.

Silence permeated the room for a moment before Lucifer spoke up again.

“You will report to my study promptly after dinner every night without exception until you are finished with everything,” he said, the edge in his voice coming back in full force. “Understand?”

MC nodded in response. Figures he’d implement something like this.

“Good. I will help you study a portion of the time, while Satan will help with the rest.”

The human resisted the urge to groan at this. Great, two drill sergeants for the price of one. Literally.

They felt their cheeks flare with heat when they felt Lucifer’s gloved hand cup their cheek as he leaned in to place a soft kiss on their forehead.

“Your well-being is important to all of us,” he said, pulling back. “Never forget that.”

“Lucifer is—” Beel interjected mid-bite before he quickly swallowed. “—right.”

“Won’t hear me arguin’ on that!” Mammon piped up as he filed into the room with the four brothers who weren’t already in there to begin with.

“Lucifer said I could plan a spa day when you finish up! Just you and me... sounds heavenly, doesn’t it?” Asmodeus announced, tossing a wink toward MC.

“Oi! If you think I’m gonna let that happen, you got another thing comin’, Asmo!” Mammon growled, earning an eye roll from the Avatar of Lust.

“You have nothing to worry about, as long as I’m your tutor,” Satan interjected before a true fight could break out.

“You better finish up quickly, because there’s this new game is coming out—!” Leviathan practically vibrated with excitement before letting out a terrified sound.

“Don’t put too much stress on them,” Lucifer’s aura flared.

“Oh, uh...” Levi corrected, looking a bit like a wounded puppy. “T-take all the time you n-need...”

MC couldn’t help but crack a smile at the brothers’ antics, their previous annoyance at the unexpected 18-hour nap all but gone (though they would have to speak to Lucifer about boundaries.. while they agreed that their health was important, essentially supernaturally drugging someone still wasn’t okay).

“You guys are too much,” they said, their cheeks flaring. “Just how did I end up stuck with all of you?”

Silence fell upon the room for a very brief moment at the question, before chaos (naturally) resumed its regularly scheduled programming.

#obey me shall we date #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #oh my god so many tags

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