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kncrowder88 · 3 years

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Voyager and Romance

So, the thing about Voyager and romance that sticks with me is they seem to do one couple really, or more accurately two characters, any real justice overall. And that is B’Elanna and Tom. While moments for that relationship may not be perfect that is rather realistic for relationships, as no relationship is perfect all the time so that is tolerable. This post though isn’t going to be about looking at that particular relationship though but primarily at other relationships. Largely because a discord server I am in was talking about Counterpoint and I realized why I both love the episode but also have weird feelings with it. Which, I’ll touch more on that specifically after I discuss the relationship stuff (as that plays a part).

So, I will preface this with it has been a bit since I’ve done a binge of Voyager and really a full binge of Star Trek in general. As such, I may forget a few relationships on the show and overall, throughout Trek in general. From what I can really toss together … I honestly am beginning to believe that when it comes to Voyager and the other shows (the older ones not the new ones – I am not including any NEW Trek in this) that for some reason the relationship writing with Voyager was rather different. Like, they gave 3 characters active relationships prior to being stranded. That being Harry Kim, Kathryn Janeway, and Tuvok. Out of these three we get Janeway and Tuvok holding onto those relationships in their own way while … it seemed mildly convenient for Harry to mention it when it suited him, I guess (like that time Tom wanted to set them up for a double date or you know when he ended up in that alternate timeline but still wanted back with Voyager even more like). Like, the reason I don’t list Tuvok-T’Pel above is because we don’t actually get to SEE that in full, we just get to see Tuvok’s side of it and his dedication – we don’t see the relationship, we don’t see the couple.

Harry and Tom, prior to his relationship with B’Elanna, seem to frequently do this sort of two bros dating around thing which is fine but like … same time the show used them for that. And once they settled Tom with B’Elanna they used Harry in those plot lines when it worked. Thus the alien STD episode and the “how dare you not get the standard permission from your CO and CMO” line (like they really put that into a Trek ep and I’m still unable to not picture Riker, Kirk, Picard, and everyone other Trek character constantly getting permission for their latest romance – just remember Jadzia and Worf likely had to get permission from Sisko and Bashir if the Trill and Klingon weren’t already approved of in the system just saying, that’s a thing that happened). Anyways … my point is they went out of their way on this. Like, when Kes was with Neelix they wrote Neelix to be that jealous judgmental boyfriend who literally got upset she knew where other people’s quarters where, she was nice to Tom, she was … just yeah. They wrote Tom to come off as a player pulling Harry into it, when Tom settled down Harry seems to pick that up (I mean you got his “omg Seven” phase and the alien STD stuff and lord knows what else I’m forgetting with him).

And to top this off I haven’t even touched on the “Janeway can’t have a romance” stuff yet. Which is where my real problem is. Like, its bad enough they brought in Jeri for the sex appeal (which lets be honest stems from the fact they couldn’t use Janeway for that – which I get, Kate was right in the whole concept of the audience target having to keep respect for a female lead and sex appeal couldn’t be a focal point but they could have balanced it right and regrettably because they couldn’t that meant Jeri got all of the other side of the coin). Many of Seven’s eps center on romance or social stuff and honestly that is a whole other WTF post in its own right because it all leads up to the sudden get with the one person on the ship who didn’t want you here in the first place and who also would have served better as the male adult guidance figure/father figure than as a ROMANTIC partner but hey BS happened behind scenes to cause that chaotic romantic on screen set up. But yeah … this is just another example of the poor Voyager romantic plot lines.

Chakotay’s romantic plot lines are usually – and by that, I mean pretty much always – with these strong independent women. But usually, at least from what I recall, they are also typically the “needs help” (damsel in distress/can’t do it alone/etc.) plot. Like, Riley was strong independent but also set up to need help in regard to getting her little collective put back together on the planet. You got Kellin, again another strong lady who yet again also needed help. At least in the ep she’s in and if I recall much of the info on how they fell in love during that time as well – primarily with getting away from danger at the start and then during the initial romance finding her target. Valerie is the only one who doesn’t fall into the needs help plot and that’s largely because she was being manipulated by Chakotay for information – which honestly just goes to show how well Chakotay was at the whole undercover stuff (which tells us a lot about what he could have been doing as a Maquis). Seska was the plot point of “you once dated her, now she is going to badger you to get with her again and when that fails, she’s going to assault you” …. like all of Chakotay’s romances are literally him either 1) being manipulated (as that’s what Seska and Riley did) or 2) being the kind guy or 3) not an actual relationship (either because its undercover work or because the writers were too cowardly to make him and Janeway canon).

Then you got Janeway. Then you got KATHRYN JANEWAY. You know, the one where Kate Mulgrew said no romance, no sexualizing, no doing that sort of stuff because the audience had to maintain respect for the character. I’m sure someone has the exact various quotes out there. Like … this is why we don’t have JC as canon. But what we do got instead is …. Janeway in Prime Factors being flirted with by the administrator as if that’s going to get him what he wants because “female leader means flirt with her”. We got Janeway and a period drama holodeck adventure in the early years which was clearly meant to be her romantic tête-à-tête early on that never got followed up with. We got “delete the wife” with the Fair Haven plot point (because its totally respectable to see the FEMALE LEAD, the STARFLEET CAPTAIN, just straight up DELETE THE WIFE of another individual - yeah, I get its meant to be humor factor because hologram but come on). You have her whole thing with Mark which we get tidbits off but again similar to Tuvok we literally only get to see her side of it – the only couple moment of theirs we get is the comm call in Caretaker.

But Jaffen? You are correct. We got that lovely and touching and wonderful romance with Jaffen …. Oh wait … they had to remove her from the ship, strip her of her memory, and her autonomy in order for her to have a relationship with another individual. And yes, by losing her memories, by losing what made her who she was as a person, she did lose a sense of autonomy. She entered into a relationship without a full sense of independent choice. The point in which she made a choice in that episode, the point in which she – Kathryn Janeway – made a choice with all of the person, the individual she is, was at the end when she had her memories back and could decide based on the values and beliefs and all that she is. What I’m getting at is the people on that planet deliberately took away who she was, they took her memories and her ability to make the decisions they knew she would make --- they did that deliberately (that’s even established in the episode) --- and as such her decisions while in that state are not truly her full independent decisions but the ones impacted by the state she was forced into.

And while I love Resolutions, while I love all the JC goodies, we get in that ep … Yet again the only time we get to see Janeway in any sort of romantic situation is when they remove her from the ship. When they remove her from command. When they strip her of that setting. This time, though – well the first time – she keeps awareness and has to go through lose of it all in order to even start to let it all happen. I love the episode, I do, but I just find it rather amusing they went “’Hey we gotta strand them what should their tasks be on the planet?” and they immediately went “Well Janeway is scientist how about that” “Okay and he can build, Chakotay can start building. Man builds house, right?” and then like went “oh and then she can start a garden” …. Like really? Really? That’s what you got for me. Oh, and then there is the monkey. That’s the romance this ep. Boat, science, monkey.

Then we got Kashyk. We have dealt with Kathryn throughout this series dealing with various leaders of various styles. As mentioned, Prime Factors guy attempted flirting. Other leaders pulled similar or worse or even dismissed her …. Like the list goes on. Counterpoint is a great episode because it deals with prejudice and is rather dark. The thing is, had Janeway been able to have a healthy romantic relationship on screen to counter this episode this episode probably would have come off better. Episodes like Prime Factor could have been done different (that leader didn’t need to be as flirty for example). One or two eps through the series having creepy dudes she had to deal with, fine, whatever … that be a nice impact for the audience. But when you have to many prior to Counterpoint – even if its minor, small stuff – it makes this episode so much harder for fans. Especially the female fans who deal with this constantly.

See, here’s the thing with this ep…. Some of the fans who watch … we know Kashyk well. We know that character. He is that male leader, that male power figure, who uses the power he has to manipulate those in his control to get what he wants. And Kathryn … Kathryn was in his control. Kashyk is listed as a relationship on memory-alpha. But much like how I view Seska with Chakotay … I do not view Kashyk as a proper relationship. In Devore space, Kathryn did not have proper power. She had people in her command, on her ship, that she had to protect. That she knew she had to protect. Her own best friend … lives in her hand … and Kashyk right there willing to kill them. Willing to snatch them up and destroy them. And he used that power to manipulate her and play her. Yes, she played him right back but … did she truly have a choice? Did she have any other choice but to play his game? What would have happened if she said no? And that … that is why this episode is so unsettling for some people. And why this relationship being considered on is so off putting … that the writers, that memory-alpha, that the fact I’m putting it on this list as one of the ones on here for Voyager says so much … they wrote this as one of her relationships while out there … she had to do what so many women had to do to stay safe, to keep people she loves safe, and that’s not a relationship.

Voyager could have done romance/relationships such better justice.

#star trek #star trek voyager #i had some feelings about things #primarily the Kashyk thing #but that lead to other things #and honestly i am really begining to question romance in voyager #but also like overall in Trek in general #like the more i think about Voyager the more im like oh god they really did seem to fail there #because the only valid couple i can think of is Tom and B'Elanna

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grigori77 · 3 years

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2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10. WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination. Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work. It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020. I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look. It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves. Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area. One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create. Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself. This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9. WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be. A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam! Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future. In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings. Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us. She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon. Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure. Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do. It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power. Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie. After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8. LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas). Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises. Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons. The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up. Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him. He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero. Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface. The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed. Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in. One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7. PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all. It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers. Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity. Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically. But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon. This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect. The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon. This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away. Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade. Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6. THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered. Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan. The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here. Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’. They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story. Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large. After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5. MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year. The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs. I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA. How? Why? It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be. Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then? Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again. The only catch? The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances. As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history. Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times. The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story. Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”. Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane? Boy, that’s a tough one …

4. ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now). Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way. Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer. Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings. Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady. Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years. Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade. Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers. Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon. Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3. 1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed. Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed. The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from. Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league. It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack). They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos. That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING. I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same. Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2. BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen. It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies). It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist. Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to. Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about. Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain. Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy. My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT. Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz. This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms. It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!). It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists. Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020. Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1. TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with. I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March. Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT. Still with us? Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine. The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic. As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals. Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven. As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …

#wolfwalkers #wonder woman 1984 #ww84 #love and monsters #parasite #parasite movie #the old guard #mank #enola holmes #1917 #1917 movie #Birds of Prey #birds of prey the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn #tenet #tenet movie #2020 in movies

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cotccotc · 4 years

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𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨 ⚡︎ “𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒕”

☆ summary: rumors cause a rift between you and your boyfriend. can you find an answer before things get too intense?

❑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 { ☁️ anon ♥︎ }

☆ genre/s: angst, a bit of fluff, established relationship, high school!au, boyfriend!minho x reader, feat. best friend!hyunjin, bully!chan (I’M SORRY), + songwriter!changbin for like 2 secs

☆ warnings: swearing, mentions of anxiety, physical violence, blood, [ this isn’t really a warning but y/n is lowkey a bad*ss so… go u ], toxic masculinity...?

☆ one-shot, 4.5k words

☆ a/n: i hope y’all enjoy this one! especially you, lovely ☁️ anon <33 it’s a bit intense but who would i be if i didn’t get carried away?? (p.s. i’m sorry this took so long!)

☆ tags: @magglesx

｡･ﾟﾟ･ ⚡︎ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

minho had been distant for a few days and you couldn’t really tell why. as far as you knew, you hadn’t done anything to upset him. in fact, the week before, you planned your first date in a while and made sure it was extra special due to the busy school schedules that tended to keep you apart. of course, the date included going you paying for the meal at your shared favorite restaurant on the nicer side of town, as well as coming back to your house for some much needed cuddle time. he may not seem like it from the outside, but your boyfriend was a major cuddle bug.

yet, suddenly, you felt as though he was avoiding you.

your boyfriend was normally a little hesitant to flirt with you or initiate pda at school, which you completely understood. he had a pretty edgy image and was known as the sarcastic, rebellious friend in your friend group. therefore, he loved his intimidating demeanor and he did whatever he could to keep it up.

but this was different.

whenever you’d text him, he would take longer to reply and the texts would be drier than ever before. one word answers became the norm, with the occasional addition of an “lol”. and he completely stopped answering your calls. deciding to give him some space, you stopped trying.

even minho’s friends seemed to be avoiding you. for instance, you stumbled across changbin in the library during your free period one day. he was sitting on the floor in one of the back aisles of books, scrolling on his phone. you assumed he was hiding out there discreetly so as to not get caught on his phone. you sat beside him with a giggle.

“you know, i never pictured you as a bookworm,” you softly teased him. changbin let out a faint chuckle, not bothering to look you in the eye and instead concentrating on whatever he was working on. disregarding his odd reaction, you asked, “what’s so important you can’t wait until lunch to see it?”

“i’m writing,” he responded dryly. changbin was the most esteemed songwriter at your school. everyone knew he wrote songs for himself and other people, and whenever he was free, he’d be writing.

“...would you like to share any?” you asked, peeking at his screen. he normally wasn’t hesitant to share his lyrics and you always enjoyed hearing his poetic inner thoughts.

“um… not today.” he glanced up at you for a split second before going back to his phone. he even went so far as to tilt the screen away from you. at this point, you became hyperaware of the fact that you had done something wrong. was i being too nosy? you asked yourself. “sorry,” he continued.

you looked down at your lap, in which you awkwardly picked at the skin on your fingers. “it’s ok, i get it. i bet they’re great though,” you offered bleakly, trying to remain supportive of your friend despite how annoying you must have been. that was definitely not what you needed after beginning to feel your boyfriend drifting away from you. first minho, and now your friends?

“thanks,” changbin replied coldly. and with that the bell rang. you could have sworn changbin seemed thankful for the end of the period, as he picked up his bag and locked his phone as soon as the bell sounded. with a bleak wave and sideways glance, he was off. and there you were, sitting on the floor of the library, alone. and confused.

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it was a chilly wednesday morning in november. the past few days had been a bit torturous without your boyfriend’s usual sneaky expressions of affection. you were in math class, seated cozily in the back of the classroom next to hyunjin, another mutual friend of yours and your boyfriend’s. the desks were arranged in pairs and you and hyunjin had no other friends in the class, which led to the two of you becoming close during the past few months. yet, you still hadn’t told him about what was troubling you. while the teacher was answering questions about your homework assignment from the night before, you decided to talk to hyunjin about minho.

“jinnie,” you whispered as your friend kept his head down, his brow furrowing at the problems on his page.

“not right now, y/n. i’m trying to work.” just like changbin the other day, hyunjin kept looking at the page in front of him with a sense of irritation.

you looked down at his paper and then at the problems scrawled across the blackboard at the front of the room. “but you got all of them right,” you countered.

“...okay, fine. what’s up?” he whispered back to you, finally looking you in the eye with an exasperated expression. now, hyunjin was a known drama king. he had his occasional grumpy moments, especially during your morning class, but he never looked at you with the expression he did in that moment. it was a mixture of irritation and passive aggression, as he attempted to keep a straight face.

disregarding hyunjin’s obvious shift in tone from other days, you decided to be straight forward and asked him, “has minho been acting off lately? he’s not responding to any of my messages and i barely see him in the halls anymore.”

“he’s…” hyunjin squinted a bit, feeling around in his mind for the right words to say. “he’s probably just going through something. give him some space for a little while.”

you chuckle, rolling your eyes. “that’ll be easy. he’s avoiding me like the plague.”

“really?”

you were surprised at hyunjin’s disbelief, as he was making it seem like he knew what was wrong with minho. “yes,” you said in what still felt like a whisper but really wasn’t.

“miss y/l/n,” your teacher reprimanded from the front of the room.

“my apologies,” you said bleakly with a hint of sarcasm. minho’s antics were really starting to get to your head. thankfully, your teacher disregarded your tone.

once the teacher resumed instruction, hyunjin turned back to you. “have you heard… the rumors?”

“what rumors?” you replied, quieter than before. “about me?”

he paused, confused. “you seriously haven’t heard?”

“hyunjin; you, minho, and the rest of the guys are my only friends. unless any of you told me, i know nothing.”

the blonde boy looked back down at his paper, still just as puzzled.

“what rumors are you talking about?”

slightly cutting you off, your teacher called your name once again, with more force.

soon thereafter, the bell rang and hyunjin left before you got the chance to question him further.

you couldn’t help but feel guilty. for what? you weren’t sure. but something bad was going on in your boyfriend’s life and you couldn’t do anything about it. and even his friends, who were equally as close to you, must have known what was bothering him.

so why couldn’t he confide in you?

a day passed and you were more sure than ever that everybody except hyunjin was avoiding you. what made things worse was whenever you’d pass minho in the halls and he’d shrug you off like he barely even knew you. he’d either become vague or walk away after giving you a short response. at this point, any and all forms of affection had become nonexistent.

whenever you entered a crowded hall, people you didn’t even know gave you odd looks. and, it would become more frequent whenever you were with minho. he’d always look around, observing their glances. that would always be his cue to leave.

in fact, even jeongin would swerve as soon as he saw you in the hallways. out of all the members of your friend group, he was the least likely to hold any sort of grudge, so you were troubled by his reaction to whatever secret drama there seemed to be.

if there was a rumor being spread about you, wouldn’t you deserve to know what it is? but then again, how would you confront anyone about it without sounding paranoid or narcissistic?

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thursday came and went, leaving you with the final day of the school week. you had gotten used to the slight stares and whispers that surrounded you, despite your lingering confusion. school had ended twenty minutes ago, and you were waiting on a bench outside the school for your mom to pick you up. she was running late.

suddenly, the double doors opened up, revealing your boyfriend who walked alongside hyunjin. the two were laughing. it was honestly refreshing to see minho smile after not having seen him happy for a whole week. you caught the boys’ attention from a bit of a distance. minho waved at you, taking a deep breath. you waved and smiled back, trying to pretend everything was fine. that was until he turned around, gesturing for hyunjin to follow him in the opposite direction. your mood and expression instantly dropped.

but then, hyunjin paused, playfully punching minho’s arm and pointing in your direction. you couldn’t tell what they were saying, but you were incredibly grateful for hyunjin’s actions as minho refocused his path to you. as the two parted ways, you and hyunjin exchanged a wave.

at least someone had your back.

your boyfriend approached you. he chose not to sit down, opting instead to simply place his bag next to yours on the bench. he squinted at the sun, which poked out from the other side of the building. “hey.”

“hi…”

you were sick of playing games. you wanted answers.

“what’s wrong, minho?”

“...what? what are you talking about?” he bluffed, his hands clasped behind his back.

“come on. i know there’s something that’s been bothering you. you’ve been avoiding me all week.”

he adjusted his sweatshirt, placed his hands in his pockets. staring off into the distance, he questioned, “why’d you do it?”.

huh?

“what?” you asked in response. maybe this had something to do with his sudden coldness toward you. however, in disbelief from minho’s current emotional state, you maintained an innocent, slightly scared demeanor.

“why’d you tell everybody i’m a sap?”

“what the hell are you talking about?” you raised your voice a bit, beginning to get upset at minho’s accusation.

“that i make you get the bill at every restaurant, that i’d get lost if i wasn’t holding your hand…” at this point, he was counting on his fingers. you were getting more and more anxious by the second. so this is the rumor hyunjin was talking about…

you were so shocked. you looked away from him for a second, trying to process everything. your stomach was doing flips. you didn’t know whether to apologize immediately regardless of your innocence, try to explain your uninvolvement in this, or simply stay silent.

“don’t play dumb with me,” he remarked. “i know it was you.”

this was the most stern he’d ever been with you. especially while alone together. he furrowed his brow, his eyes staring into yours with intensity. you could tell he was angry, but you didn’t know at what.

your eyes dart back up into his. this time, it was your expression that scared him. you never usually got very frustrated with him, as this was your first time having a major communication issue with each other. this feeling was as new to him as it was to you.

but that didn’t matter in that moment.

you got up from your seat and took a step toward your boyfriend. despite your initial fear, that comment was the last straw. all of the emotions you’d suppressed throughout the week came to a head as you stood up for yourself.

“i’m not fucking dumb, nor do i claim to be. for your information, i had no idea a rumor was spreading about you until hyunjin told me. i also didn’t know what it was about until you told me just now. so next time, be upfront about your feelings before you make any assumptions about me.” you paused for a second, unclenching the fists that you hadn’t even realized you were clenching in the first place.

minho was shocked. rightfully so. that was the most riled up he’d ever seen you. he felt so terrible, having ignored you for nothing. how could he have doubted you? what could have driven you to say such stupid, petty stuff about him? you loved him. you always did. but he was too blinded by his ego to see it.

tears rose to your eyes once you finally released the extent of your aggression. you attempted to blink them away, but when you couldn’t, you let out an involuntary “i’m sorry.” you were barely able to use your full voice as tears began dripping down from your eyes and onto your cheeks.

minho wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in tight. his expression softened. “...don’t be. this was all my fault. i’m an asshole.” he used one hand to stroke your hair as he spoke with urgency. he felt you shaking beneath him, causing tears to poke at his own eyes as you released yours.

while pressed up against him and sobbing quietly into the fabric of his black crewneck, you wrapped your arms around his waist, settling into his embrace. “no you’re not,” you muttered in between sniffles. “you didn’t know.”

“but i should have.” he released you from his hold and places his hands on your shoulders. “this could’ve been taken care of a week ago if i just talked to you about it instead of being a dick.”

you took a deep breath as your face began to cool down a bit. “you were being a dick…” you joked (although, it was justified). he laughed a bit at your comment, but he was still very serious about this.

“you don’t have to forgive me right away, or ever. i know i can’t forgive myself for making you feel like that.” it was then that you realized he was on the verge of crying just as you had been. “ugh! and that comment i made earlier! fuck-” a single tear fell from one of his pitch dark eyes and onto his cheek, cutting him off as he was about to continue. he looked away, trying to collect himself.

“let it out,” you advised, reaching your hand up to wipe away the tear. he looked back at you with pursed lips, other tears evident in his eyes. “there’s no point trying to salvage a bad boy image when it’s just you and me.” you smiled, trying to lighten the mood a bit so you can talk without becoming too emotional. but that seemed impossible.

“you’re right. i shouldn’t care so much.” he began stroking your hair again. you close your stinging eyes and let him. after a pause, however, he grabs your attention again. “i’m gonna find out who started the rumor.” his voice lowered as the anger began bubbling up inside him once again.

“minho, don’t worry about it. it’ll pass.” you unwrap your hands from his waist and reposition them around his neck, drawing his forehead closer to yours. you rub the nape of his neck with your fingertips, lightly combing through his jet black hair.

suddenly, you both became startled as you heard the faint sound of laughter, as well as the sound of a car pulling up behind you. minho turned around and you peeked out to the side. a group of boys sat inside a black mini van, parked along the curb in front of the sidewalk on which you stood. they were all laughing.

“is baby having a fit?” said chan, one of the popular boys in your grade, from the passenger seat. he was referring to minho.

chan was always up to no good, and you usually tried to steer clear of him and his friends in the halls. it immediately clicked in yours and minho’s mind that he must have been behind all of this drama. then, you realized how enraged minho must have been feeling and grabbed onto his sweatshirt sleeve for protection.

“so it was you,” minho said to chan. he sounded almost too calm.

walking toward your boyfriend with his hands behind his back, chan replied, “word travels fast when you find out someone’s not who he says he is. oh! y/n, that reminds me,” the smile on chan’s face was almost sickening to you as he shifted his attention to you. “my aunt’s looking for a babysitter. based on your resume,” he gestured to minho, “you seem like the perfect fit.”

before you could even react, minho turned around and removed your hand from his sleeve, giving it a quick kiss. “give me a minute, yeah?”

and with that, he spun back toward chan and swung a fist at his face with a loud grunt. you gasped, covering your mouth. chan stumbled slightly to the side, covering the side of his lip with his hand. when he rose again and uncovered it, you could see a patch of blood at the corner of his mouth. he wiped it away with a smirk.

“y/n, get inside, now,” minho demanded, still facing chan. he tried not to be too forceful, but this was important. he couldn’t risk you getting hurt even more than what he had caused.

you were at a loss for words. it was like you were frozen, unable to think of what to do or say or who to call. your feet remained planted on the ground as your heart raced with an intensity you’d never felt before. you could almost hear it.

chan laughed again, only this time it was laced with anger. “why would she listen to you? we all know you don’t call the shots.” you could hear chan’s friends reacting the whole time. ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’, laughter and snarky remarks.

that was the last straw for minho. he swung his fist back at chan’s face, except chan was able to catch it before it hit him. he pushed minho back, almost bumping into you. you were still unable to move, your mouth agape. you were absolutely horrified, and you couldn’t tell whether it was because your boyfriend started a fight or because he was in danger of getting hurt.

minho caught his balance, lunging toward chan again, his fist once again outstretched. this time, he missed, giving chan just enough time to thrust his own fist directly out at minho’s stomach. your boyfriend let out an audible expression of pain, squeezing his arms tightly around himself. to make matters worse, chan wasn’t done. he used the same fist to hit minho with an uppercut to the nose. minho fell to the ground, just missing where you stood. he landed on his palms, droplets of crimson liquid dripping from his nose onto the pavement. you called out his name, finally breaking out of your frozen state to drop to the ground and cradle your boyfriend’s upper body in your arms.

the sight was astounding, to say the least. tears lingered in and around minho’s deep, weary eyes as they looked up into yours. however, you were too concentrated on his afflictions to notice the love and guilt emanating from his gaze. his lip quivered, scarlet blood trickling down onto it. disregarding the damage it might do, you used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe some away. your vision was blurry due to the hot tears prickling through to the surface of your eyes.

chan chuckled once again, his laugh ringing in your ears. “that’s what i thought.” the turned around, blotting the blood on his lip and being commended by his idiot friends. as you watched chan begin making his exit toward the car, minho tugged on your sleeve. you glanced back down at him through hazy eyes. he placed his index finger to his lips, making a silent ‘shh’ face. he then slipped out of your grasp, using his stinging palms to guide himself off of the ground and stand up. he lunged at chan again.

minho grabbed chan’s left arm, swinging it behind his back and holding his shoulder down. the pressure he applied left chan’s arm feeling as though it could snap at any moment. he rithed and pleaded for minho to stop, but he didn’t. chan’s friends fell silent, but - similarly to you - they were too stunned and cowardly to break up the fight.

“look, pretty boy,” minho growled. “you can tell your friends whatever the fuck you want about me, alright? but what goes on between me and my girlfriend is none of your business. understood?”

in between groans and tugs, chan replied, “y-yes… ah… let me… g-go!”

“not until you tell me how it all started.” after chan neglected to respond, your boyfriend tightened his grip on chan’s arm, bringing it even closer to breaking. “hm?” he teased, a smirk pulling at the ends of his lips as he could feel chan beginning to comply.

“i saw you- fuck… at the restaurant…” minho was confused, until he remembered you insisting on paying the bill on your last date. “she paid for you… what a… gentlewoman- shit!” even when under extreme conditions, he still couldn’t give it a rest.

mercy had completely left minho’s eyes as he yanked on chan’s arm once more, releasing a cry from the helpless troublemaker.

however, that’s when you heard a teacher call out to them from the school’s entrance. “boys!” she exclaimed, beginning to approach the scene. “break it up!”

everyone, minho included, immediately shifted their gaze to the woman. chan was then able to break free from minho’s hold, rushing back into the car where he initially arrived. as the driver hit the gas and quickly directed the car out of the parking lot, minho shot his eyes at you. you swiftly grabbed your bags, and then his hand.

and then, you ran.

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you were finally in the clear. after bending around a curve and re-entering the school, the two of you stopped running. you placed your hands on your knees, dropping the backpacks and panting as you both attempted to catch your breath. you had arrived down the hall from the boys’ bathroom. once you could properly regain a proper breathing pattern, you stood upright and examined your boyfriend. just as you both noticed a bloody rip at the knee his once perfect jeans, he began walking toward the bathroom to clean himself up. however, he couldn’t make it too far. his leg was sore from the impact of his fall, and the scrape and running sure didn’t help. he limped a bit, but you grabbed his arm and stopped him. placing it over your shoulder and wrapping your other arm around his waist, you guided him into the bathroom. once you entered, you had him sit on one of the sinks while you gathered supplies to clean his cuts.

“i’m gonna get in so much trouble,” he finally said. he spoke softly, due in part by the pain he was experiencing as well as his ongoing guilt.

“you didn’t have to start a fight,” you muttered, half disappointed but half sympathetic. you always knew he had an edge, but you never imagined you’d see him in a physical altercation. you never looked him in the eye, instead focusing on grabbing a piece of paper towel and turning on one of the faucets.

“like i said, you don’t have to forgive me. especially now- ah, shit.” you accidentally cut him off once you guided his left hand under the running water and started dabbing it with the towel.

you considered his words for a moment as he adjusted to the sensation of the warm liquid on his small cuts. furrowing your brow, you responded, “i don’t think i can yet. it’s too soon.”

“i understand.” he paused, solemnly. “thank you for taking care of me, though.”

“it’s only a bit of cleaning. anyone could’ve done it-”

“no.” he cut you off this time. “thank you for always taking care of me. you’re always there for me, even when i’m not around to reciprocate. you don’t deserve this. i was a shitty boyfriend…”

your eyes darted up to meet his. “was?”

“...well… that’s what you want… right?”

you turned off the faucet, still staring intensely into minho’s eyes. he appeared to be just as perplexed as you were.

“is that what you want?” your hands began shaking as you attempted to mask the anxiety that simmered inside of you. he was the one who was technically in the wrong, but you couldn’t deny the fact that he completed you. having a taste of what it was like to be without him made you realize more than ever that you needed him. you wholeheartedly believed that you could get through this with time... however, what if he had ulterior motives?

his eyes widened. “no! not at all.” his eyes briefly glanced at your hands. he could see the stress he was putting you through and he grabbed your hands, enveloping them in his. “i just figured that’s what you would want. you deserve so much more than…” he let go, staring at his bruised knuckles and the scrapes on his palms. “...this.”

you let his words sink in for a bit. “you know i don’t try to coddle you or anything, right?”

“i know. i’m so pissed at myself for letting all those rumors get to my head. even if those things were true, they wouldn’t be a problem… but i know that now.”

“it only took a few cuts and bruises,” you remarked. “look… i can’t say i’m not upset, but i’m willing to try and work things out… as long as you promise never to fight anyone like that ever again. you scared the shit out of me.”

“yeah… things got a little out of hand.” he used his free hand caress your jaw, stopping at your chin to tilt it up toward him. “i promise.” he pursed his soft, rosy lips before stroking your hair and kissing the crown of your head. you smiled at each other with a newfound sense of closeness.

you continued cleaning up his scrapes until there was no more dripping blood. his nose was definitely going to need a bit of recovery, however you made him promise he’d let your mom take him to the hospital when she arrived at the school; and, he obliged.

you exited the bathroom to reveal the same teacher who attempted to break up the fight. she held minho’s bag. next to her stood the principal, who held yours.

minho was soon to follow you, discarding the rest of the paper towels in the trash. once he caught up to you, he glanced up to discover the same sight. he swallowed hard, his eyes growing wide. he looked down at you, and you at him. your heart was beating uncontrollably.

that is… until minho grabbed your hand, interlocking it with his. suddenly, despite impending doom, everything seemed okay.

and rumor has it, everything would be alright as long as you stuck together.

200 notes · View notes

asteriismos · 4 years

Text

stay home - jacob barber

warning(s) : smut, eighteen! jacob and reader, soft fluffy smut

words : 3k

authors note : sorry i’ve been away for a while. there will be more requests getting written soon. idk if i like this one or not lol it may get a rewrite

BUT ALSO A SOFT SMUT WITH JACOB B LIKE-

Oh my God yes, can you rewrite that closet scene so it's Jacob and reader

you had been there when andy gave the news to joanna, jacob, and laurie that he found out ben rifkin’s phone was now in evidence. you listened to the older adults as they explained that this meant that andy and joanna could go through the phone and find anything to defend jacobs case. this was good news, very, very good news.

this news, though good, was obviously something that the barbers didn’t want you knowing. you knew this by the fact that when andy had come home only ten minutes earlier, he asked for jacob to come down and only jacob. andy knew that you were there, as did laurie, but this was a family affair. something that they didn’t want you to go telling other people or the media about this news. which you understood, jacob’s safety in this trial was what really mattered.

but you were a snoopy person, wanting to know what they were talking about so badly that you stood in the doorframe leading to jacob’s room, being quiet as you listened to the conversation. it felt a little wrong to be snooping, but the kitchen was right there next to the stairs and it was hard for you to not hear the conversation.

hearing the conversation cease and footsteps making their way towards the stairs, you turned and walked into jacob’s room, mindlessly looking over the stuff that was on his desk. his computer, which was bright and shown on the screen was a google doc for a paper he was putting off, was the only thing that really brought light into the room other than the small lamp adjacent to the left on the desk.

the footsteps neared closer and from the hallway outside of his room, jacob said, “my mom and dad are going out to get takeout, what do you want from the chinese place?” chinese food. it was jacob’s favorite takeout food, even if it tended to make him a little sick after he ate it. you always laughed at how he always wanted to go there when both of you were hungry and didn’t want to go to either of your houses to make food yourselves.

you turned to face him and shrugged your shoulders, part of your cardigan sliding down your arm. “i’ll just get the chicken fried rice, i’m not too hungry,” you said. jacob smiled and walked back downstairs, seemingly to tell his parents what you wanted. you waited patiently for him to come back, and when he did, he closed the door and stood idly next to it, his eyes scanning his room before making their way to your own.

there was a certain unvoiced aura that has been between both of you for a really long time, ever since the day he got arrested and charged with the murder of ben rifkin. you two had yet to even really talk about it, because you weren’t really sure how to even start talking about it. it wasn’t a casual conversation starter, quite the obvious. talking about the murder of ben was beginning to be taboo in your suburban town.

jacob barber was in the same class as you for as long as you could remember. you two even went to the same preschool when you two were both three years old. he was born in august and you were born in september so you were always a little bit younger than you, but each of you were some of the oldest in your soon to be graduating class. already 18 in the beginning of senior year. because you were a girl and jacob was a boy, it was quickly established that you couldn’t be friends just because that’s how it was in elementary school. the boys hung out with the boys and the girls hung out with the girls. you can even remember having a boys vs girls ‘war’ on the playground about who had the most cooties. so you didn’t know him well until sophomore year english class.

the teacher in that class, mrs heng, was a spiteful woman who obviously hated children. you always wondered why someone would become a high school teacher if they openly talked about how messed up the ‘younger generation’ was. mrs heng had a strict seating chart that didn’t change for the rest of the year, and she placed you and jacob to sit next to each other at the double desk. back then you had only really heard people talk about jacob and the same went for you, so it was pretty awkward at first. after a while you two started to warm up to each other and the rest was history.

you two were now nearing your two year anniversary and everything seemed much different than how it was two years ago. how could either of you think that any of this would happen?

jacob, still standing awkwardly with his eyes at yours, cleared his throat. “did you hear any of that?” he was good at reading you. he knew your facial expressions like the back of your hand. and he always knew when those gears in your brain were turning.

you breathed out, realizing that you were holding your breath. you didn’t know why you were being so passive with jacob, you two never kept secrets from each other. but you, like everyone else, was trying to tell if jacob actually did it or not. of course you weren’t like the people who jumped to the conclusion and painted him to be some type of monster. you knew he wasn’t a monster. he was jacob. your jacob.

“yes.”

your tone was softer than you wanted to be. and jacob couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt in his heart for having to put you through this. he knew that people were mean to you at school, on social media, and even in newspaper articles about him. they all mentioned how jacob had a girlfriend, and how she might just be as messed up as he apparently is. it broke his heart in two.

he walked over to you, the apparent height difference showing the closer he got to you. there was a point where you were taller than jacob, back in eighth grade when all the girls were going through puberty and the boys were still left in the dust. then in sophomore year a month into dating him, he started to get taller and taller. you swore that you would see him one day and then the next he would be two inches taller.

his hand reached out to grab your own, making you sigh at the contact. you missed him. now that he was out of school and was finishing up his last year of high school with a private tutor, you never got to see him at school and sometimes not even afterwards because you had your own responsibilities with trying to graduate with good grades. tonight was the first night this week you came over to hang out with him in almost two weeks.

“i'm sorry, about everything. about roping you into all of this, you don’t deserve it,” jacob said, his hand squeezing yours.

you looked into his eyes with concern. “and you do? jacob, i’m so sorry this is all happening to you.” you could deal with a little bit of bullying, but jacob? he was looking at the rest of his life in jail if he was found guilty of this. and the evidence was piling up against him. you almost didn’t know how he was keeping it together. the world was crashing down on jacob barber and he was still making sure that you were okay.

you did really love him. you have since sophomore year when he used to write on the corners of your worksheets and ask you how your day was. then when you would turn them in, you’d have to scribble out the conversation so that the teacher didn’t see. in the beginning stages of your relationship he would put little notes in your locker that you still kept in your room to this day. a part of you believed that you would always love jacob barber, no matter what happened in these next coming weeks.

his eyes looked down at the ground, sighing. “i know, it’s just. i worry about you all the time,” he said. he really cared about you, loved you more than anything he’s ever known. it didn’t even matter what happened to him, as long as you were safe from possible violent people and the media. they were all painting you to be someone you’re not. jacob wished that they knew the real you. about how supportive, kind, and considerate you have been with him this entire time. the entire world was against jacob barber and here you were, still defending him and standing by his side.

feeling a sudden chill, you shivered under his touch, making him smile a little bit and look back into your eyes. all thoughts of the trial melted away as you two came back into reality. without saying anything, you let go of his hand and turned to walk into his closet. it always confused you as to why he had such a big closet. but laurie said something about how jacob’s room ( despite it being smaller ) used to be the master bedroom before they added on an addition to the house. which explains why jacob had a walk in closet despite him not really even needing it. only about 2/3 of it was even filled, the other was just empty with a few boxes used for storage.

you heard jacob follow you, he leaned against the doorframe and watched you search through his expanse of sweatshirts. you were trying to find the perfect one to wear so you wouldn’t be so cold. hands grabbing and pushing away hangers, you came across a white one that he never really wore. amused, you turned to look at him and held it up by the hanger for him to see, “i don’t think i’ve ever seen you wear this one.”

a light blush spread across his cheeks, “yeah. i bought that one to wear and give to you a month ago. never got the chance.” he motioned to the hoodie with a sheepish smile on his face.

you smiled as well, biting your lip and setting it down on the shelf next to you. you came over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. jacob pressed a kiss to your cheek and raised an eyebrow. “what’s on your mind?” he asked.

you shrugged. “just you.”

“i’m flattered,” jacob said, pecking you on the lips this time.

you looked into his eyes. he was the same person that you fell in love with. and you missed him this close to you. you missed him inside of you. you two haven’t had sex in so long, and his parents were gone you were the only people in the house.

you were so desperate for him. “make love to me.”

he hummed. “what was that?” he cocked his head to the side and put his hands on your waist. his thumbs pressed into your hip bones.

“make love to me,” you said again, catching his eyes.

he pulled away just a tiny bit, a curious look on your face. “what sprung this on?”

you just shrugged your shoulders, biting your lip again but in a more seductive way. “i love you. and i want you. we’re all alone in this house and it’ll be fun.”

he didn’t respond, instead kissing you with a desirable force. your back hit the wall with a calm force that you didn’t even mind the folded clothes that fell down from the top shelves. you laughed into the kiss, hands coming up and tangling themselves into jacob’s hair. the strands fell in between your fingers like silk. you tugged at them, eliciting a soft groan from him into your mouth.

jacob pulled away from you and pulled up your shirt, hands coming to your sides and capturing your lips with his again. his right hand trailed upward, cupping your breast. his thumb rubbed along the skin above your bra, squeezing a tiny bit. jacob was being gentle, loving, appreciating everything about your body.

usually when you guys had sex, it would go fast. mostly because you guys had so much pent up tension that you two have to go at it hard and fast to get relief. this time it was slow, genuinely appreciating everything about each other. it was rare that you got times like this, but now that it was here, neither of you were going to take it for granted.

you could tell that he had pent up tension, just the way that he was kissing you told you that. hot kisses pressed to your lips or on your jaw. it caused a pressure to build in your stomach. jacob went down to kiss up and down your neck, making sure not to make any marks where they could be seen. he did however, leave a large one just below your collarbone, which made you throw your head back with a tiny moan. the way that his teeth grazed across your skin felt so good.

“jacob, we don’t have that much time,” you spoke, hands pulling his face up to look at you. he gave you a lazy grin, kissing the valley in between your breasts. he then came up face to face with you and leaned in, his hot breath fanned against your face.

“you’re right, you’re just so beautiful i want to kiss every single inch of you,” jacob replied. you shivered at his words, cheeks reddening. “what? it’s true. i love you.”

you pecked him on the lips. “i love you too, may i?” your hands went down to the end of his shirt and lightly tugged on it. he laughed and nodded, his arms raising up as you guided the fabric off of his skin. once the shirt was off and discarded, your hands came to his sides and pulled him into another long kiss.

his lips still on yours, jacob went and started to mess with the button of your jeans. after a few attempts, he finally got them unzipped and pulled them off of you. you finished by kicking them off your ankles. your hands came to do the same for him, undoing his belt and letting him do the rest. your hands were too shakey to finish up the job anyways.

one finger hooked into the waistband of your panties and pulled them off of you as well. the only thing seperating each of you were his boxers, which were discarded soon after.

jacob hiked you up against the wall, grabbing the bottoms of your thighs and pulling you upwards. your legs wrapped around his waist, hands holding tightly onto his shoulders. you were off the ground in his arms against the wall of his closet, which you hoped didn’t drop more clothes on you. the last thing you wanted was for you guys to finish and then later have laurie barber ask what the hell happened in the closet to make the folded shirts on the top shelf all fall off.

there was a moment of silence between you two while he lined himself up with your entrance, the tip of his dick sliding through your folds. you moaned out, giving him a look that said please. jacob chuckled and pushed himself in.

the feeling of him stretching you out while he slowly pushed in made you groan out. you fogot how good this felt, how he filled you up just perfectly. right now you thanked god for birth control. jacob took a moment to let you adjust to the feeling after he bottomed out, since he didn’t warm you up with his fingers earlier. if there had been more time, he would’ve. but there will definitely be more times to be together.

“you - you can move,” you whispered out, your hands going to his face. “please jacob move.” you begged, making him laugh again.

“needy are we?”

you didn't have time to answer because he pulled out of you and pushed back in, continuing at a moderate pace. your back pressed against the wall every time his hips rut into yours, sending you closer and closer to that peak.

both of you were pretty riled up. because of the stress of the arrest and the upcoming trial, no one leaves you two that alone together to have sex. this was one of these rare moments you got to spend with each other and it was so worth it.

it was so worth it to hear those desperate moans come out of his lips every time his hips met yours, the lust in his eyes when his head bowed down and then up again to meet your eyes. jacob pressed kisses to your neck, licking a stripe up your jawline. a half moan half sob left your lips, feeling him reach that spot in you that only he could get. he hit it over and over again,

you moaned out, hands pressing harshly against his back. nail’s digging into the skin on his back. usually he wouldn’t like the pain, but it felt so good mixed with the pleasure of you so tight around him. both of you were really close, his thrusts were getting faster and harsher with every single time he pulled out and in. “god jacob, im going to come.”

jacob nodded his head that was in your shoulder and watched your face as you hit your orgasm, admiring the sweat on your brow and the way that your head threw back.

your moans in ecstasy seemed to cause him to hit his orgasm as well, his hands squeezing the back of your thighs. he attempted to pull out, warm hot liquid spilled inside of you and in the inside of your legs. he took a moment to make sure you were steady on your legs as he set you down. you leaned against the wall to catch your breath.

#defending jacob #jacob barber #jacob barber x reader #jacob barber imagine #jaeden martell

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cranehusbands · 4 years

Text

glory, to olympus

loba andrade/crypto | park tae joon; established relationship; hurt/comfort; post broken ghost; apex rarepair week; 1883 words

a/n: first thought is why the fuck did ao3 butcher crypto’s name so bad.. that’s not how his name is said. taejoon is one word. crypto im so sorry

secondly, this has been my agenda this whole time. welcome to cryptloba hell, population me. i absolutely adore these two with all my heart, i was so excited for finally write for them, and will be doing so later this week, as it’s apex rarepair week! the prompt i went for for this one was meet the parents and well... you get the idea. angst time baby

@apex-rarepairweek thank you for hosting this wonderful week!

likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated

ao3 mirror in the reblogs!

Preview: The thief’s mouth hung open in her rambles, before she looked up to Crypto, still standing in the rain with his hands in his pockets, hair flat against his face. The shadow over her eyes fell now, mascara running down her cheeks as she wiped the nose with the back of her hand in an uncharacteristically sloppy way. “...Am I doing them wrong, Park? Have I done bad by them?”

The gentle sound of the radio was enough to not make the room sound so deafening in its silence, raindrops hitting the window like tears from the clouds, as if knowing the day to the date, and mourning on her behalf. The song was a lighthearted one, one about running away to the big city - an older one, from more than many years ago, somehow still prevalent on the radio stations that she tended to be drawn towards. Was it because this music was a comfort to her? Her father always cared a lot for songs like those, and he would whisk herself and her mother around the living room while some lovelorn fool sang about a Caroline or an Eileen.

Loba was gentle in the way she did her makeup, having mastered her technique in the past few years - her philosophy had always been to not get caught, but if she were to be, she had to look her best. She closed one eye, gently placing a synthetic eyelash over the smokey eye makeup she’d carefully painted on already, pulling away and staring at herself in the vanity mirror in her room, and hand running through one of the shorter braids, the ends of her hair no longer stark red and now simply a subdued blonde. Her eyes fell on a small polaroid in the corner of the vanity, moving to run two fingers of the faces of the two adults - a suited man and a smiling woman - staring at the young child with a wide smile and a small tooth gap. The thief smiled a little, at the way the girl was so oblivious to her future, her happiness at that moment forever caught, to be cherished and longed for. She stared for a moment or two more, hand pulling away to catch a glance of the two parents by the girl’s shoulders, just as happy as she, before she stood to her feet, grabbing the leather-gloved form the edge of the desk before she opened the door, and began heading out of the dropship, passing by the kitchen and listening to the clicking of her boots against the floor-

“You’re awake early.”

She jumped at the sudden voice, shooting a glare over to the table in the dropship’s kitchen, where a pair of eyes stared back at her from over the back of a laptop. “For god's sake, Crypto, make yourself known. Don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry.” He almost looked sheepish for a moment, pulling down his laptop screen so she could see his face, the clear bags under his eyes from behind his glasses and the weak smile he gave. “You’re looking very… monotone.”

Loba hummed, doing a little half-hearted spin. “I have places to be. Quite in demand, don’t you know?”

“Hm. Visiting death, are we?”

“I guess you could say that.”

He frowned at her for a moment, brow furrowing before he closed the lid of his laptop and stood to his feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Grabbing my coat.”

“What- no, you’re not coming with me.”

He didn’t respond, shoving his hands into his pockets as he made his way back to his room.

“Crypto!” The thief called out to him, but again he didn’t respond, not even so much with a turn. And though she gave an exasperated sigh and folded her arms across her chest, she didn’t try to leave him behind in this momentary blindspot. Deep down, she was almost glad for the company. Especially his.

The hacker soon returned, now donning a fuzzy black coat, somewhat more professional and warmer than his normal attire, though still jarring to see him in something that wasn’t white or green… though, hints of his usual accent still came through, in the formal shirt and tie he still wore underneath. Hands were shoved into his pockets, clearly fiddling with the cube he always carried with him, more for comfort than out of function. Crypto shot her a small nod as she turned to look at him, quickening his pace a little to join her at her side. “So-”

Before he could finish, he was cut off as she ran a hand down his chest, feeling the soft material of his coat under her fingertips with a soft expression. It wasn’t often they shared moments like this - the two were discrete about their relationship, especially since their mission had led to both… complications and rifts in the group, but also new bonds being formed, including their own. Interactions between the two were kept strictly professional when eyes were on them… but now Loba fixed his coat collar, a sad smile on her face, perhaps getting a bit closer than what she would have normally. But it was the early morning, and the open kitchen was silent. It was just them. What did they have to hide?

Crypto’s smile was weak, and embarrassed, perhaps still not used to the shift between professionalism and PDA. His voice cracked a little as he continued with his train of thought. “S-so, where are we going?”

Loba pulled her hands away from him, tucking her arm into his with a solemn nod, as if to hype herself up. “The closest thing I remember being a home to me. ...To Olympus.”

The ride was quiet, but they both were tense. Loba knew that Crypto never liked crowds, not much - it was bad enough that a handful of the legends knew who he really was, but being so visible was a threat, even if these people had never heard of Taejoon Park before. She reached a hand over to him without looking to make it obvious, feeling for his hand to hold onto for comfort, as she knew the way his eyes fell on her and his face softened in a way that only she knew. The thief gave him a glance, and a small smile, running a thumb over the back of his knuckles, to comfort him, but also perhaps to comfort herself, as through the window the overview of the city so foggy in her memories became clearer. It was so different, and yet... not at all. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but it kept coming back, enough to make it hard for her to breathe as they left the landing zone and headed down a familiar road, being dropped off at the front of an extravagant building, where pedestrians entered through lavish double doors. She exited the taxi they had shared, a hand holding onto the door for a moment before she quietly shut it.

“Damn rain,” she grumbled, though it was certainly half-hearted, pulling out her cane and extending it to lean against it, in the way she usually did, her other hand over her eyes to avoid damage to her makeup.

Behind her, the taxi started up again, driving away as the hacker now joined her at her side, hands in his pockets. He hummed.

“What?”

“You haven’t told me everything about yourself. If I knew any better, I would make a joke that this was your second home… the gaudiness is fitting. But…” He looked over to her, and the way she stared back at him.

Loba swallowed. “Yes, well I… the loss of my family to that… demon… meant I have lost my home, my heritage. I have no grave to return my good wishes to, so I…” With her cane, she gestured towards the building in front of them - to the restaurant where all but one little girl had lost her life over twenty years before.

There was a long, drawn-out silence, the only sound being the sound of rain that his the pavement leading up to the glowing restaurant doors.

“I feel my papa would have liked you.”

“Hm?” He glanced down to her, how the rain fell down the sides of her face and how the gloomy sunlight cast a dark shadow over her eyes.

“He would have liked you. From… what I remember, anyway. He was a kind man, a family man. ...Yes, he would have liked you.” Her voice quivered as she repeated herself.

“...Loba, I-”

“-And mama would have too. Oh, the things she would say, I can almost hear them, in a distant sort of way. ‘Mi yerno es un ángel.’, I think is the phrase she’d say… I-I’m sure she would call us married already, she was a housewife type despite her… her profession-”

“Loba.”

The thief’s mouth hung open in her rambles, before she looked up to Crypto, still standing in the rain with his hands in his pockets, hair flat against his face. The shadow over her eyes fell now, mascara running down her cheeks as she wiped the nose with the back of her hand in an uncharacteristically sloppy way. “...Am I doing them wrong, Park? Have I done bad by them?”

He didn’t know what to say. He’d never had this issue before, not for himself - what was done with him was done, and he had no one to mourn… no parents, and no sister. He quickly swallowed before he could ride down that thought path. Reaching a hand out of his pocket, he took hers and gently squeezed. “You… are an amazing woman. They know that, surely, from where they reside. Regardless of what you have done, or will do, you are still theirs. Be proud.”

That’s when her face, that had tried so hard to remain like stone despite her tears, wrinkled, and her grip on his hand grew tighter with a squeeze, before she burst into sobs and practically threw herself onto him, burying her face into his shoulder, as if to hide her dignity, her hands moving to claw onto his back and hold it as if he would leave her at a moments notice.

He didn’t move, unsure if she would shatter in his arms like fragile glasswork, so perfect and delicate as she shook in the cold and the pressure of containing herself, but soon Crypto held her back, and brought her close, the warmth still foreign to him, even after all the times that had done this behind closed doors. No… it was never like this. Loba was strong, she held her cards close to her chest, and only let herself be vulnerable when she knew she had nothing to lose - and to her, she still had everything to lose. Losing her legacy, her revenge on the simulacrum that took her life away from her. The hacker held her close, holding the back of her head with a hand, quietly shushing her muffled sobs as he ran a hand through her hair, now knotted and wavy with the rain.

“Te amo,” she whispered into his neck, before pulling away and looking up to him, smiling despite herself as she wiped her eye, now red, though not like her usual makeup attire, with the back of her finger, smiling despite herself as she moved a hand to brush at his shoulder. “Sorry about the makeup all over your coat.”

He couldn’t help but laugh, moving to cup her face with one hand and brush his thumb under her other eye, still wet from tears. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. You will be fine. Saranghae.”

#apex rarepair week #apex legends #cryptloba #crypto #loba #apex legends tag #dahl.doc

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years

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I have so much to unpack from last night's Supergirl episode. Since it ends at 3am UK time, I often tweet a little before I finally fall asleep. But it is now midday, so here goes on further thoughts on it all. I know this is going to be pretty rambling but I hope it makes sense.

First. Up until this half of the season, not only did Supergirl consistently trend in the UK, so did other words associated with it, most notably Kara and Lena.

Since 5B began, the trending has failed to materialise in the UK. The hiatus of two those blocks almost immediately on top of each other hasn't helped, but it is still a salient point.

Now for the rest. I'm not even sure where to start, but I will try my best.

The opening scenes in the bar.

No Nia. No Kelly. Where were they? Nothing was even mentioned. It wouldn't have taken much to have Alex say if Kelly was working, or running late. Anything. Hell, they had Kelly/Dansen and Nia meet up in a bar scenario in 5A. Why suddenly are they not there? They wouldn't necessarily need dialogue (I mean, Kelly has barely had any since Crisis anyway, so what's new?)

Yet in walks William and suddenly Alex is teasing Kara about inviting him. Winn is also there saying, hey it's okay. You barely know the guy, you had a shitty relationship beforehand, but go ahead, date the dude.

We had a prime opportunity for the Danver sisters to do karaoke together. Instead it was with William. At the expense of sister time (so many would’ve loved the sisters singing together).

So much here is wrong for me as a viewer.

If you have a show about female empowerment, yet the lead of that show is having to be told by others that dating a guy she has barely shared any positive moments with, let alone any romantic feelings for beyond a really awkward moment the episode before; that is not empowering a woman.

All too often Supergirl (as the lead in the show) is looking at dating, but not being capable of making her own romantic choices without the interference from others around her.

The only one I can think of who didn't need that was S1 James and to some degree Adam. Kara showed interest, but ultimately made the decisions on her own. Kara also recognised that with Winn, they were better off as friends. Yet S2 began and inexplicably Kara and James had broken up, and the need for Kara to get told to go for it by others began.

Mon-El was extremely problematic. As is William. Both were allowed to lie, to treat women like garbage at times with immunity. Yet here is another double standard. Kara and the Superfriends lied to Lena for 3 years, yet Lena is a bad person for reacting. I will repeat what has been said I don't know how often about Lena's reaction. It isn't without issue in how she is dealing with it. She isn't evil, but she has handled it badly. Her own emotional trauma, that was partly unpacked in 5A helps though explain why she behaved as she has.Yet, Mon-El faced no consequences for his actions. William can be a complete nightmare in how he treated Kara in 5A, but all is suddenly forgotten about or forgiven because of the reset? That is a cop out if ever there was one.

This hypocrisy is what annoys me the most, and frankly it is misogynistic all too often.

I actually pity any woman who believes it is okay for a man to behave as many do towards Kara. The message it sends is awful. I know the men in my family would be horrified by the actions of these love interests. I know of some men watching the show who feel the same way.

As for Lena and Kara. The trauma both have faced has shaped them. Yet Kara appears unaffected by losing her world a second time when Earth 38 was destroyed. On losing Argo. Sure they got it back, but as a changed merged World. You expect us to believe having to watch an antimatter wave destroy those you love has no effect? That being trapped for months with only the other paragons and Lex didn't cause trauma, even with a positive outcome. That seeing Krypton destroyed the first time wasn’t traumatic enough. That’s not something that just goes away. Add in losing Jeremiah, losing Astra (again), the trauma Supergirl must face when she can’t rescue everyone, that has a lifelong impact.

Lena has shown her emotional trauma has also been lifelong, albeit in a different way. To dismiss the emotional abuse Lena has suffered to attack her actions now is pitiful. Winn even suggests to Kara, that in the future, Lena does come through this, and isn't evil personified some want to make her out to be.

Yet Mon-El gets excused, William gets excused. Ugh. I’m sick of the double standard.

So, let’s unpack this further. Kelly Olsen was in the military. She wasn't just trained, but had an active role in the army. She recounted an event at a checkpoint where she was serving in S4. So she had active service, and it was in that moment when Kelly decided she wanted to help others more.

Kelly also knows the stress of keeping an important part of your life secret. She then also fell in love with a woman, someone who was her Sergeant, who was then killed on patrol (another reason we know Kelly was on active duty). It devastated Kelly who hadn't even told James of her relationship.

Later, upon completing her service, Kelly became a psychologist specialising in trauma.

Nia is also someone facing problems. Not only did her becoming Dreamer lead to discord with her sister, as well as the tragic loss of her mother, she has problems with Brainy. Nia offered to be there for Kelly when she was upset over watching Alex get hurt, but we saw nothing to suggest they had a heart to heart. Azie posted something that suggested they filmed a scene that did this, but it never made it on the final edit. Instead, once again we had William taking screen time.

So anyway, the point of all this is: guess who is placed to actively help Lena and/or Kara with the problems?

Kelly. Who apparently doesn't know Kara is Supergirl yet. So while Kara wonders if she should tell William, she could have the exact same conversations with Alex, only substitute Kelly for William. Overall, the plot could easily be maintained, and the established cast get good solid and plausible screen time. She could even talk to Nia about it, yet doesn't.

Another thing I find hard to understand is why haven't they used the link of Kelly, working at Obsidian North, where they could establish the Leviathan link.

If Lex has made the connection to Leviathan, you are telling me, even without Brainy helping them, Alex, Nia, J'onn and Kara haven't made the same connection? C'mon. Two investigative journalists, one who has won the Pulitzer, two DEO trained agents, and if Kelly was brought in, someone military trained; aren't able to make the connections? J'onn has all those computer banks in the tower, and while none of them are Brainy or Winn, he can't use said computing power? Why bother having it, if they are only props in the background. They could even ask Lena to help, since she has shown willingness to work with them if the reasoning was good enough. Leviathan is someone she knows (after all, Lena could have her memories returned by J’onn too). She knows the danger Leviathan poses. She could use the leverage to still get the lens from Obsidian in a similar way to now, but through Kelly if needed.

Actually, if they are using the tower, how does J’onn afford to pay for all this? I can only assume being as old as he is, he made some great investments over time, allowing him to be independently wealthy? But again nothing really suggests this.

Oh as for Alex leaving the DEO, great. After all, she was the Director but hasn’t been able to lead the DEO in all that time. Let alone some of the morally grey areas the DEO skirted around all too often. Still, where will she get her income from? Does she get paid as part of J’onn’s PI firm? Kara barely makes rent and food costs (at least she says her apartment is rent controlled so wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise), so no way can she afford to help Alex out financially. Kelly might be able to support her, but again I cannot imagine it would be sustainable.

I feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

Onto Nia. I've said this a few times now, but here I go again. Back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense. What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

Instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in 5A, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex. Why do they need that journalistic pairing of William and Kara, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist. As the saying goes, make it make sense!

As for Lex. I love Jon Cryer. I’ve loved his version of Lex, but once again I feel Lena is just as well placed to take on his role in bringing down Leviathan. Why add another villain to this plot? We were told it was Leviathan who were the bad guys for this season, but once again we barely have a glimpse of them, but all the screen time on Lex, also to the detriment of Lena. We could be using this time to begin to mend Lena’s relationships with not only Kara, but the Superfriends. Instead we are getting bit and pieces, that seemingly bear little resemblance to the ‘fight for Lena’s soul’, or the ‘Stronger together, weaker apart’ tag lines the SG team used to market the series in 5A. (See attached photo). So again, this is frustrating for us to watch, as there is absolutely no cohesion to the storytelling. We know it is the ‘nothing is as it seems’ season, but to have no really coherent storylines so far this late on? It is baffling for me.

The sidelining of Nia and Kelly also brings to the fore the way the LGBTQ characters are being treated.

Dansen feels like a long lost legend from the mists of time. As I said earlier, there was a perfect opportunity for a Dansen scene in the opening part of the show, yet we might as well watch tumbleweeds fly past, for all the screen time Dansen or Nia have had. Well, rather haven’t had.

It seems we shouldn't ask for justification as to why William is on the show, but when we say the LGBTQ characters are being sidelined, that it doesn't matter one jot how diverse a cast can be; if said cast are not being given credible storylines or screentime, and if we say as much, we have to continually justify why that is the case. We get told to take what we are given. To insist on better, is oppressing white CIS men (in some cases CIS women have argued the same). This isn't oppressing anyone, but asking that if we get given relationships, given characters we want to invest in, they get the storylines to accomplish that. Supergirl is failing the LGBTQ audience so badly at the moment. So many have the same complaints it is ludicrous to suggest this is just one section of a fandom or trolls.

What I'm taking from all this at the moment is that 20% of the main viewing demographic as per GLAAD figures (and more besides, as I've seen straight viewers recognising the problems as well), have serious concerns with Supergirl.

But keep telling us we are overreacting. Or we should take what we are given. Or that we are delusional. After all, it is the kind of crap we have sprouted at us continually away from Supergirl, why shouldn't it be the case here.

I look at S4, heck even 5A, to what the show is doing now and it feels like an unmitigated disaster. Episodes are running out fast, so even if they increase Dansen, or Nia's screen time, it won't be enough to make up what has been lost. They're running out of time to give us a solid ending that ties up the mess they've created.

I really don’t know where this will end? CW Supergirl - do better. You have some phenomenal actors and actresses in your cast. Do them and your audience justice. Because right now you aren’t at all.

#lgbtq #supergirl #supercorp #azie tesfai #chyler leigh #gay #nicole maines #alexdanvers #alex danvers #kellyolsen #kelly olsen #nia nal #dreamer #superhero #dansen

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moonbythecabstan · 3 years

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We're Up Against The Wall (Know I Like It Like That) - Part 1

Rated: M

Pairing: M/M

Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment

Relationship: The Miz/Dolph Ziggler

Summary: A surprise visit from Mike's good friend takes a surprising turn.

Mike flicked his thumb over the screen, skimming the posts scrolling past with vague interest. He wasn't one for mindless social media perusing, but waiting on his wife usually took quite a while. Especially when she had her girls with her. Their giggles heard every time he peeked into the room to check on how much longer he'd be waiting. Left with nothing else to do, he took to looking through Instagram. Tossing a double tap out here and there, smiling at the many pictures of his friends doing interesting things in their lives.

He glanced at the time at the top of the screen when his restlessness got the better of him, groaning when he found only three minutes passed by. How was it time moved so slow when you desperately wanted things to hurry up? Waiting on your wife and suffering through workouts being the times when you wanted the minutes to fly by. Yet they merely crawled. Dragged.

There was a knock at the door that startled him out of his silent griping. He furrowed his brows at the door like maybe he imagined the sound, but it came again. A rhythmic knocking he recognized with a grin. Pushing up off the couch to greet his friend as he pulled the door open wide.

"Hey, man! Didn't expect you to drop by today." Dolph Ziggler, in classic shades and red Motley Crue shirt (sleeves cut off because of course), nodded to him. Ponytail flicking jauntily back and forth as he shifted weight from the left to the right, a hint of teasing to the 'apologetic' smile he offered.

"Yeah, well. I was in town and... I mean, you know how it is. Better to drop in on a friend than go out to some expensive establishment in town." He paused, head tilted and lips pursed for a moment. "It's cool that I'm here, right?" He leaned over to one side and then the other, seemingly checking behind Mike. Probably wondering if they were going out or if his wife had something planned for them.

After all, Mike was dressed in a casual but still nice outfit. Jeans, blazer, clean white t-shirt. His nicest boots. He figured there was still about twenty minutes before he'd even be close to leaving the house anyway, so he nodded and invited Dolph inside. It was better than sitting bored in the living room, something playing on the television and staring at the wall while his thoughts ran away with him.

Not possible to be bored when Dolph was around. That anyone knew.

"So, judging by your nice clothes and pretty face I assume you're going out soon." Mike dropped back onto the couch, though Dolph remained standing. Glancing from where Mike sat to somewhere down the hall. With a hum, he got into a more comfortable position. Effectively rumpling his shirt and blazer, something he was surely going to be nagged about when it was time to go.

"Yeah we've got some business stuff to attend to. And then dinner at this new steakhouse. I'm just waiting on wifey to be done with her thing so we can go." He checked his watch, grimacing. "Should be in the next twenty minutes."

"Ah. Hence the letting me come in. Better than talking to the wall. Probably anyway." Mike snorted, nearly running a hand through his hair before remembering he'd styled it already. He dropped his hand listlessly into his lap, puffing air out of his mouth up at the ceiling.

"Trust me. It's a much better alternative. What are you doing in town anyway? I thought you'd be up in New York by now?" If he remembered correctly, Dolph had some... thing or other scheduled soon in New York. Of course, he could barely keep up with his schedule, never mind a friend's.

"I do, but that's not for a few days. Well, technically two, but I figured it would be fun to visit my brother for a bit. Except he's apparently busy. Then I thought, 'Hey, Mike probably wouldn't mind a buddy' and here I came." He certainly appreciated it. It had been a little while since they really got to hang out. Usually one of them was busy doing something else or they were hanging out with their group of friends at a party or some formal event.

It wasn't the same as just chilling out. Shooting the shit. Catching up.

"Glad you did. You don't know how long a minute can stretch until you're waiting for someone to get ready to go." Dolph laughed, sunglasses now hanging on his shirt collar and his smile reaching his eyes. Blue as the California sky outside his window.

"Brutal." Then he took a step back, glancing down the hall again and smiling in apology. "Mind if I use the bathroom real quick?"

"Sure. Go ahead. You know where everything is, right?" Dolph nodded, already heading out of the room. Something about him a bit more...highstrung than usual. Mike wasn't sure what it was about him, but he let the musing go in favor of heading for the kitchen. Seeking one of his healthy snacks since it would be a good while before he'd be eating anything.

Not even five minutes later, his phone buzzed on the counter. Curiosity piqued, he set aside the mustard bottle he'd been examining for an expiration date and plucked the device up. Brows furrowing when he found Dolph's message notification there. An amused thought crossed his mind of Dolph stuck in the bathroom without toilet paper or something, though that disintegrated quickly into curiosity when he unlocked his phone and read the actual text.

"Hey, you gotta come check this thing out in your guest room. What is he talking about- guest room?" He tried to think of what in the world Dolph could have found in the guest room, shuddering at the thought of a rat or something being in there. His phone buzzed again, a 'hurry up miz' making him roll his eyes as he pushed away from the counter and walked quickly to where Dolph was waiting for him.

"Alright, what is i- mmph?" The moment he was through the door, it shut quietly behind him. Dolph crowding him up against it. A dangerous and enticing gleam in his eyes. He nearly spoke again, his thoughts shooting off in a hundred directions as he scrambled to understand what was happening, what he'd walked into, but Dolph shushed him. Tilting his head once towards the adjacent wall.

And then he heard it. Talking. It was muffled through the wall, but he recognized the higher frequency of women chattering together. Giggling and speaking in shrill voices that carried into the next room. That being the one he was in currently, Dolph watching him carefully. Heat in his gaze that made Mike swallow. His throat suddenly very dry.

"I believe I remember you once mentioning something about how you've fantasized about this. About us going at it in the room next to the one she's in while getting ready." Oh God. He remembered that? Mike vaguely remembered one of the times they hooked up while out of town, he'd been completely blissed out and barely able to put coherent thoughts together. Rambling on about something while kissing along the throat that tasted of salt and smelled of thick musk. Dolph's fingers trailing along the skin of his back and chest, sending little shivers through his body.

Afterwards, when he had his bearings, he remembered saying something along the lines of what Dolph said to him just now. Cringing in embarrassment and praying Dolph either hadn't heard him or wasn't able to pay attention any better than Mike was. Not that it wasn't truem he was ashamed to say, but he preferred to keep such fantasies to himself. Not wanting anyone, not even Dolph, to know some of the things he really wouldn't mind doing.

Apparently he'd hoped in vain, because the man heard and remembered. Obvious in the smirk he wore as he looked him over.

"Um, I was kind of hoping maybe you didn't hear me when I said any of that." Curiosity sparked in darkened eyes, Dolph humming lightly as he considered him for a moment.

"Why? I mean, it's not the best idea you could have in terms of keeping people from finding out. But apparently that gets you hot, and who am I to deny someone something like that? I'm game if you are." It hit him rather suddenly what exactly Dolph was proposing. What was on the table here. He really wished it didn't have him flushing head to toe. Didn't have his heart hammering at the mere thought.

He wished he didn't want to do this. It was wrong on so many levels.

But damn it he did.

Still, he found himself hesitating. "I don't know..."

Dolph leaned in close, their bodies just nearly brushing, and lightly slid his nose against the underside of Mike's jaw. Pulling a sigh out of him and making his eyes flutter closed. It had also been a while since they got to be together like this, rarely ever alone or somewhere they could feasibly be alone.

He didn't like to admit it, but he missed this. There was something insanely addicting to it. The adrenaline coursing through his veins. The knowledge he was doing something he shouldn't. Their natural chemistry snapping and crackling between them when they touched. Kissed. Their passion burned so hot, so bright, and together it was absolutely blinding. Threatening to burn them to ashes.

Every time they got together left Mike wanting more. He couldn't, really shouldn't, but still he craved. Still found himself thinking about it. Once or twice even dreaming of it, an awkward situation he felt immense shame over while sitting on the closed toilet seat. Head in his hands. Drying sweat leaving his skin sticky. Grimy.

"It's up to you. Whatever you want." In his opinion, though Dolph was trying to make it like the final decision was Mike's to make (and, he supposed, in a way it was since he could technically walk away), Dolph also wasn't playing very fair. Ambushing him in the guest room. Leaning in close, keeping him trapped against the door with his body. Teasing him. Smelling as good as he did. Looking like he did.

Looking at him like that.

Really it wasn't fair at all. Because whether he wanted to or not (he totally did) they were definitely doing this. He had no possible way to fight Dolph, or ignore the hum of energy under his skin. And Dolph knew that. Knew just how to push Mike's buttons to get what he wanted. A reaction. A favor.

And behind closed doors, whatever he wanted in bed.

Not that Mike was, like, complaining. He loved making people happy. Would do anything to do so. What they wanted to do he would do delightedly. Diligently. That applied about ten-fold in the bedroom.

"You know I want." He spoke lowly and with slight irritation because they both knew Dolph knew this. Far too smug for his taste, knowing Mike would play right into his hand. Dolph, grinning, tugged him off the door. Letting out a quiet yelp when Mike suddenly charged him, taking the control right out of his stupidly smug hands. He licked heated kisses into Dolph's mouth while curling around him. Absorbing the pleased moan Dolph let out and kissing back harder. With earnest fervor.

Hands squeezed at his shoulders, fingers then trailing along the back of his neck. Bodies pressed firmly together. His ears picked up loud laughter from the next room and he broke the kiss with a gasp to trail lips along the stubbled jaw. Squeezing his fingers into Dolph's waist, a low sound next to his ear making his hair stand on end.

Muffled conversation continued from the other side of the wall his back thumped into, Dolph whispering against his throat. He grasped tightly to whatever parts of the man he could, taking a shape inhale when fingers picked at where his shirt was neatly tucked into his pants. A shiver running up his spine when quick tugs freed it, hand slipping underneath and nails biting into his sensitive skin.

He wasn't sure how much teasing he could really take like this, praying Dolph took mercy on him but knowing the chances were slim. It was rare they got this, even rarer in the situation they were in, and Dolph wasn't known to squander an opportunity laid so perfectly for him. Trust him on that one.

Fingers plucked at buttons, getting through three before Dolph invaded his space again. A heady scent bulldozing his senses and making him dizzy. Dolph always smelled good, but this was something else. He'd happily drown in whatever bottle this stuff came in, that's how good it was.

"Gonna have to be extra quiet, you know that? They could hear you." Another button undone, his shirt looser across his chest. Falling just a centimeter more open. He felt himself arching, trying to break free or maybe draw closer to the other man. To melt completely into him. "Can you actually do that? Can you keep quiet?"

He swallowed thickly.

"Yeah. Yeah I'll- I'll manage." Another button, Dolph leaning back and shooting him a twisted smile he felt deep in his gut. Leaving him to question just how well he'd be able to manage not alerting anyone in the next room what was transpiring.

"We'll see about that." And then, without warning, he dropped to his knees. Fingers making quick work of Mike's belt, the leather snapping as it was tugged from around his waist and tossed onto the (thankfully carpeted) floor. Dolph glancing back at it and making a face.

"Next time, we'll try the laundry room. I remember it has a hard floor." His response dried on his tongue as eager hands wasted little time with buttons and zips. Mike wheezing, clenching his jaw to keep from making any other sounds, when Dolph's left hand slid across his skin. Pressing firmly but gently into his stomach while eyes watched him with open curiosity.

"Hmmm. Usually can get at least a squeak out of you with that one. Going to have to work harder, aren't I?" Squeezing his eyes closed, he counted to five in his head and let out a steady breath. Trying to center himself and ignore the delicious tingling all over his body.

"You're trying to break me...on purpose?" Dolph hummed, smiling sweetly while tugging down snug dress slacks and briefs a few inches. Cool air skating across his skin and making bumps rise up his arms. A tremor in his thighs. Damn him.

"It makes this a little more interesting, don't you think? Just like that time you did something really similar when I was on that conference call with those really important people I told you about? Remember that?" He did, and that had been pretty entertaining. Dolph's strained voice and broken sentences delighting him to no end.

He was quickly coming to realize it was not nearly as fun on the opposite end. Especially when he liked being vocal. Noisy. Sharing his...appreciation.

"If we're caught-" A pointed look.

"Don't get us caught. Simple." If only it were. He had a feeling this was not going to be anything near easy or simple for him.

#wrestling fanfiction #WWE #wrestling slash #mizler #the miz #dolph ziggler #not everything goes on AO3 #WWE fanfiction #might start posting shorter fics here because there's too many on archive #i have too many ideas someone help #of all my ships these two are the least popular and also the ones taking over my life the worst #an old idea I had years ago I decided to write finally #I thought this was going to be short but here we are #two parts because I can't control myself

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n0iseyniya · 5 years

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Baby-Doll {1/?}

Warnings: A Dark-Fictional Piece, Contains Eventual Non-Con Elements. (18+)

Characters: (Dark!) Steve Rogers, Reader.

Summary: (For this Chapter) Steve and the Reader meet for the first time.

Synopsis: Steve begins an unhealthy obsession over the reader, whom he meets at a bookstore. With times comes an unhealthy relationship which sprouts into complete madness.

Note: Hi guys, this is a pretty bland chapter only because I wanted to set the plot, characters and overall tone of the story up. This is my first time at a dark! fic (and writing for Marvel) so please leave suggestions and notes. There are no warnings for this chapter except for a glimpse of Steve’s attitude towards the reader? Though I doubt that this counts as a warning. The second chapter will be uploaded on 9/23. I hope you enjoy!

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You honestly couldn’t remember a time where Steve wasn’t somehow intertwined in your life

It had started off small, a rare fleeting glimpse of him in the crowded city of New York. A small mention of his name when you made your way to the nearest café. A brief praise of him when you turned on the news for the day. Really, everywhere you went Steve Rogers lingered around you. You never did seem to mind, after all the man did save the world only hundreds of times, it seemed only right for the media to praise him.

Despite forever being surrounded by his impact, you never did grow tired of him.

He was humble enough and was always sweet when he was approached, never showing a hint of irritation when all he had wanted was to take a stroll around the city he had come to love. He was unwavering in his diligence to his people. But he had always had a soft spot for quiet secluded places where people never quite lingered.

So, it never came as a surprise when Steve Rogers had first made his appearance into your tiny, family owned library on the corner of Bleeker Street.

He was wearing nothing out of the usual when he had arrived for the first time. A plain blue jacket, a plain white T-Shirt, and a pair of black shoes. The only thing that led you to do a double take, was the simple basketball cap that did little to hide his face.

It was a horrible disguise, if it could even be called that. But then again, it was a Sunday morning, so was there anything for him to be hiding from.

You watched as he made his way around the library, carefully taking everything in. He walked slow and calculatingly as he examined shelf after shelf, stopping sparingly to examine books that he found mildly intriguing.

Catching yourself staring, you took a small step back, deciding to leave him be. He probably had enough people staring at him on the regular, and you didn’t want to be labeled as weird by him.

You turned your head back to your computer and focused on the new shipment of books that needed to be delivered to your library soon enough. Your favorite author had just released a new installment of books to her series, and you wanted to be the first library to get them.

You huffed in annoyance, rapidly clicking the keyboard keys as you typed in your confirmation code. Skimming over the information, you squinted your eyes as you looked for a confirmed delivery date, frowning slightly when you see that there hadn't been an updated delivery date yet. It appears you were going to have to wait the extra two weeks.

You tapped your fingers on your desk as you pondered what you were going to do, your whole schedule had been around the release of her books. Your mind ran rampant as you thought of other books to advertise, but nothing came up.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you had barely registered the soft ‘ahem’ behind you. Turning around quickly you stumbled on your feet. Grasping the edges of the desk, you steady yourself, finally facing the customer.

You were met with an amused Steve Rogers. He was slightly bewildered at your clumsy state, yet his eyes held no judgement in them.

You gaped at him, your mind not fully coming to terms that this man is right in front of you. You'll scold yourself for that later, embarrassed that you had made such a big deal out of it. You were supposed to act natural, not be a clumsy, blubbering mess.

However, he seems to not be put off in the slightest, no doubt use to it. Instead of paying your shock any mind, he sets his books down on the desk, and smiles.

“Just this, if you don’t mind, please.”

You immediately snap out of your trance and shake your head ‘yes’. Ringing up his books, you scan the barcode smiling when you see the titles. They’re simple books, but they delve into deep topics. One is about LGBT liberation, another on Civil Rights and one on Global Warming.

You can’t help but to lightly shake your head in adoration, raising your head to him, you see that he is already starting intently as you; almost as if he’s inspecting your reaction. His gaze is sharp and unwavering, but when he sees your reaction, he can't help but to blush, raising his hand to scratch lightly at his head.

“I just thought I’d brush up on some things. It’s never to let to get educated on some issues, right?” Steve says softly, as if he’d ruin the quiet atmosphere. You giggle and shake your head, “No, not at all. I completely understand.” You reach for a brown paper bag to place his things in, now aware that he’s staring pointedly at you. He reaches for his wallet, pulling it out and digging for a couple of bills, “How much do I owe you Miss?” You stop momentarily, looking at the screen, and then back at him again. You shake your head and smile warmly at him.

“It’s on the house. It’s the least I can do since you.... you know’ save the world n’ all.”

The grin on his face gets wider, and the tips of his ears flash red. He shakes his head a little and gently pulls his bottom lip into his teeth.

“Thank you for that. I’ll be sure to remember that.”

You roll your eyes playfully in response, turning your head to the computer to void his transaction.

Steve’s stare widens, and he finds himself clenching his fist in order to calm down. He didn’t like that. You, rolling your eyes that is. It sent all the wrong messages to him. He tries to desperately shake the negative thoughts out of his head.

She didn’t mean it. It’s not like that. Just breathe in and out. That’s it...relax Steve.

He’s back to normal the moment you turn around, broadcasting his dazzling smile, his hands still clenched tightly next to him; as if to remind himself to remain calm.

You gingerly slide the brown bag across the desk towards him, slowly looking up at him.

“And there you go. You’re all set.”

Steve grabs the bag and swings it over his shoulder beaming at you. Nodding his thanks, he makes his way to leave. Opening the old, dingy door, he makes his way out into the quiet street, but not before turning to look back at you.

And if you hadn’t already turned your back already, you would have seen his eyes stare intently at you before he makes his journey back to the tower.

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1,271 Words. I know this chapter is short, but I wanted to establish the setting and all of that. I hope you guys enjoyed! The next chapter will be longer, and I think you guys would like it! Thank you 😊.

#steve x reader #steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark steve x reader #dark!steve #dark!steve x reader #fic #series #babydoll #mcu #marvel #stevexreader #steve rogers x reader

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siriuslyblack12 · 4 years

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chapter 9

“Pads, Pads c’mon, we have to talk about this.”

He groaned.

“You can’t just ignore it forever,”

Another groan.

“Sirius, baby, I know this is hard for you and you don’t know how to deal with it but if you just let me help we could do it together, yeah? Please let me help you.”

Sirius went to groan once again but this time just sighed softly in defeat. He and Remus were sat on the latter’s bed, snacks that Mrs Lupin had brought them long discarded and sheets askew. Sirius was yet to respond to the messages he’d gotten from his brother the night before, which was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that he hadn’t had to confront it, but a curse in that he couldn’t help but stress over it. Regulus was all he could think about as he lay face down on his boyfriend’s bed, clothes and hair askew.

He lifted his head to look at Remus, smiling at the way his curls fell down onto his forehead, “What is there to talk about? He wants me to go stay at the house I ran away from, there’s nothing to even consider. I’m not doing it.”

“I know, I know,” Remus leaned forward to cup Sirius’s face in his hands, forcing his eyes to stay on him, “But he reached out to you, he hasn’t done that before. You’ll have to talk to him at some point.”

Sirius didn’t reply in favour of capturing the boy’s lips in a long kiss. It was gentle, as if both were afraid that the other would break as they fisted each other’s t-shirts to bring them closer together. Remus moved his head to the side with a bitten back smile, causing Sirius’s lips to fall on his cheek as he was still in the trance. He snorted quietly.

“I for one think that my time would be better spent kissing you, unless you any objections…” Sirius trailed off suggestively.

“You’re an idiot.”

Despite that, Remus gave him the shortest of pecks to the forehead. “What does that make you then? The idiot’s boyfriend?”

Remus spoke breathlessly, “Something like that, yeah.”

When their lips met again, everything in the world seemed to fall into right into place. The stars aligned, the planets shone brightly, the two of them together where they belonged. Sirius could feel Remus’s eyelashes flutter shut against his cheek and hand come up to grip his jacket. If he didn’t have something to hold onto he would probably combust on the spot, but he abandoned that thought in favour of living in the moment.

Sirius sighed into his mouth as he pulled away, “You’re too good at that,”

“You think?” Remus laughed tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear. It was a little exasperated, coming out in a much higher pitch than his usual tenor.

“It’s a wonder I get anything done,” Sirius pressed a kiss to one cheek, then the other. “When you’re sat there,” A kiss to his nose this time, “Looking like that.”

Remus couldn’t control the blush that rose on his cheeks, “’m nothing compared to you.”

“Nonsense!” His boyfriend practically shouted, making Remus have to put a hand over his mouth to stop his mum from hearing and coming in. “You’re literally the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, babe. I’m in second, of course, but you’re like… unreal.”

Rolling his eyes, Remus was hit with a wave of emotion and gratitude for Sirius. He didn’t exactly agree with him, but every compliment did something to his heart. Maybe if he heard it enough he’d begin to believe it himself, but he couldn’t see that happening anytime soon. Sirius Black is vain, Remus Lupin is not, that’s the gospel truth.

“You could come with me,” Sirius supplied rather unhelpfully, hand wading through Remus’s hair. “Stay over at the house with me, at least then I wouldn’t have to talk to Reg on my own.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I don’t want to get in the way or anything-” Panic snuck into his voice as he questioned him, they’d never slept over before. There was a part of himself telling him that Sirius just needed the comfort, but another part saying that they weren’t at that stage in the relationship.

“No, no, you wouldn’t be in the way. I can’t go there alone, Re, I just can’t. There’s a double bed in my own room so there’s plenty of room and everything.”

He hesitated slightly, before replying, “Yeah, okay, I’ll stay with you. But if at any point you need to be alone with Reg then I understand, just tell me, okay?”

Sirius surprised him with a kiss, one full of happiness and hope and promise. “Thank you so much.”

“I’m just doing my job as the idiot’s boyfriend, after all.”

The pillow that met his face second later did not come as much of a surprise.

Lily looked over at Remus from over her book, the library table between them littered with pens and notebooks long abandoned. Marlene was sat by her side, her phone open and hidden under the table away from the peering eyes of the librarian as she laughed at whatever was on the screen. He’d just finished telling them, like an excited little girl, of his weekend plans with Sirius, a smile etched on to his face which quickly dissolved. “You do realise he wants to shag, right?”

Lily’s words made him scoff, “What? What are you talking about?”

“Think about it,” She began patiently, her elbows folded over her book, “You’ve been dating for a couple of months now, you’ve never slept over at each other’s house before and suddenly he asks you to stay over for a whole weekend. In his bed.”

Marlene clicked her phone off, placing it gently on the table and laughing slightly, “She’s got a point.”

“No she doesn’t!” Their stares burned into him, weighing him down as he tried to argue further. “Why would he invite me to comfort him in a house he hates to talk to his brother and shag as soon as he’s not looking?”

“Don’t ask me.” Lily said dismissively, eyebrows raised. His mind reeled as he considered what she was saying. If, and only if, they were right and that was Sirius’s plan then he was about to lose his virginity to the boy he loved, about to experience something that he would remember most likely for the rest of his life. It scared him a little, thinking about being so open and vulnerable even if it was with someone whom he trusted more than life itself. He’d be under scrutiny, criticism, judgement, Sirius could hate what he saw; but at the same time, sharing himself with him gave an unexpected rush through his bones.

“He wants to shag me.” Remus stated with disbelief.

Lily looked over at Marlene, then back at Remus, “I thought we’d already established that.”

“Well I hadn’t.” He squeaked. “What am I supposed to do? Why didn’t he say anything? We haven’t even talked about it, and it’s not like the gay stuff is taught in school. I’m gonna be rubbish.”

“I’m not sure a lesbian and a straight girl are the best to talk about the technicalities of gay sex with,” Marlene said with a laugh. She shrugged, “Just do what you’re comfortable with, Re. And talk to him. Don’t be afraid to tell him what you like.”

He groaned, pressing his head down into his hands out of embarrassment. It wasn’t exactly the most appropriate conversation to have in the middle of a library.

“Aw, you’ll do fine, Re. There’s no pressure.” Lily reached over to hold his hand, swiping a thumb over his knuckles.

He rolled his eyes, “Have you met my boyfriend? The most attractive person in the school, of course there’s pressure.”

“And what do you think your boyfriend would say if he heard you saying that.” Marlene smiled.

“I’m fucked. Royally fucked.”

As soon as the school bell rang at the end of the day on Friday, Remus and Sirius found each other outside as soon as possible, pushing poor year 7’s out of the way to meet in a loose hug. It was as if they’d forgotten that they’d been in every lesson together, and that they’d sat right next to each other at break and lunch. Every second apart was torture.

Remus stepped back in favour of taking Sirius’s hand in his, “You ready to go?”

Sirius brought their hands to his lips with a sweet kiss, “Reg told me to pick up something to eat on the way there, he’s not exactly a great chef.”

“You’ve been talking to Regulus,” It came out as more of a question than a statement, to which Sirius nodded encouragingly. He seemed happy for the progress, “Well what do you fancy?”

Sirius bit his lip, “How about a subway? I haven’t been there in years.” It was probably an exaggeration, but Remus couldn’t help but smile.

“Lead the way.”

Before they could make it far however, James came up behind them with a startling shout, “Here that, Pete, we’re going to subway! I’m dying for a club sandwich.”

Sure enough, Peter walked up right beside James, but his face served as a direct contrast to his friend’s oblivious smile. “I don’t think we’re invited, Prongs.”

“What are you on about?” He had thrown an arm around Sirius’s shoulders as a friendly gesture, bounding forward with his chin up until he finally looked down and saw a pair of entwined hands. “Oh my God, this is a couple thing isn’t it? I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Remus assured, smiling up at both James and Sirius. It wasn’t the first time he’d unknowingly third-wheeled them, multiple times he’d caught them about to sneak off together and tagged along or sat himself right between them on the common room sofa. At first it had been funny, watching his head reel in confusion when they told him what he was doing, but at a certain point it had become frustrating. “But you are correct.”

He felt Sirius tug on his hand slightly, “We’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

“You wound me, Moony.” James placed a hand over his heart playfully but fell back to respect their wishes.

“He wounds your ego,” Sirius jibbed. He seemed quite happy with himself, grinning wildly and squeezing Remus’s hand. Remus squeezed back to contain himself. “See you later, mate.”

“Bye, dickface.”

And with that, they had to take another detour as Sirius tackled James to the ground. Friendship truly is a beautiful thing.

“C’mon, Regulus will probably be wondering what took us so long.” Remus prompted gently. The two approached the door of Sirius’s old house, subway bags in hand as Sirius gradually became more hesitant. Remus couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was going through, the pain that just being there brought back.

“It’s not my fault someone couldn’t make up his mind about his sandwich. I mean, how hard is it to decide if you want it toasted or not.”

He smiled, “It’s a difficult decision! Throws off the whole thing.”

“Sure it does,” Sirius snorted, waving Remus off dismissively. He stopped them as they came to stand right outside the door, taking in a breath and squeezing his eyes shut. The ministrations on his face told Remus everything he needed to know, so he turned to cup Sirius face in his hands.

“It’s going to be okay, Pads,” He assured. “He wants you to be here, he’s the one who invited you, remember. It’s just us and your brother.”

“I know, I know.” He pressed his face further against the warm hands, relishing in it. “It’s just weird to be here and feel so… happy.”

First, they kissed quickly and simply, but as they pulled apart Sirius chased Remus’s mouth for a much longer and deeper kiss. He kissed him like he was a dying man, as if Remus would somehow save him from his inevitable fate. They were so lost in each other that they only barely noticed as the door was swung open by the youngest Black brother, startling them back to reality.

Regulus stayed in the doorway, eyes flicking between them in equal surprise. It occurred to Remus that he probably wasn’t aware of their relationship, considering everything they did at school could be passed off as banter. “I didn’t know you were inviting friends.”

“It’s just Remus,” Sirius said harshly, walking past Regulus and into the hallway, gesturing for Remus to follow him, “And in case it wasn’t clear, he’s not exactly a friend.”

Remus couldn’t help but blush fiercely at the statement, and then at Regulus’s intense stare that followed. After a few moments of silence, just eyeing each other curiously, Remus cleared his throat and followed his boyfriend. The first thing he noticed was the sheer size and expense the house had, all grand spaces and luxurious furniture. There was a cupboard on the back wall showcasing various pieces of china, fragile enough to break at a single touch. Remus suddenly felt very out of place in a faded red school leavers hoodie and his dad’s old jeans, kicking off his mud-covered trainers and discarding them neatly.

He watched intently as Sirius fell down onto a pure white sofa, legs lined with gold embroidery, and opened the bag of food, “I got you tuna, if that’s alright Reg. You used to love it.”

“Mum wouldn’t like us eating on the sofa.” Regulus warned. Despite the words being cold it was said with all the warmth he could muster; even a small smile accompanied it.

“Should’ve thought of that before you invited me,” Sirius folded his legs and took a sandwich out of the bag to give to Regulus, and then another one for Remus. Then Regulus didn’t even hesitate to sit himself on a chair opposite the couple, a similar perfectly kept colour and texture. “Want some crisps?”

“No way I’m eating your cheese and onion monstrosities,” Regulus said with disgust.

Sirius sighed, shoving the bag towards Remus to offer him the same, “For the last time, cheese and onion is the best flavour! What do you prefer, ready salted?” He teased.

“Actually, yes I do.”

Groaning dramatically and laying his head back onto the sofa, Sirius reached around for the TV remote. Remus looked curiously up at where he was pointing it, what seemed to be a blank wall decorated with only lavish paintings and one bland family photo from years ago, when a large square lit up with an episode of Friends. Of course.

“Seriously? This is what you’ve been watching without me?” Sirius said with shock and disgust.

Regulus took a bite out of his sandwich, “It’s mum and dad, not me. Turn it over if you’re that bothered.”

“Nah, Remus loves this show.”

Remus looked up at the mention of his name, curls bouncing, “What? No I don’t!” Sirius just smiled giddily at him, turning the volume up and settling back onto the couch. A blanket that was thrown across the arm was thrown across both of their laps, enclosing them in warmth as they joked quietly with Regulus. One of Sirius’s hands found Remus’s underneath it, a silent show of gratitude and thanks.

“So, Reg, what’s your excuse for the Halloween party?” Sirius spoke after a few moments of silence.

Regulus paled a little, thin fingers tightening around the arm of his chair. Remus expected some sort of explosion, emotion pouring out of the boy like a violent foundation of pent up anger against his brother. Instead however, Regulus let out a long breath, unwinding his fingers and curling the corners of his mouth up, “Pardon me for not wanting to spend my Halloween with my brother and his idiot friends.”

“I’ll have you know that we are extremely cool,” Sirius raised his chin in defiance.

Regulus snorted, “If by cool you mean thoroughly stupid, then you are correct.”

“Prick.”

“Dickhead.”

“Gimp.”

Listening to them tease each other, Remus was reminded starkly of Sirius and James, arguing and wrestling like all brothers do. Sirius and James had always acted more like brothers than the biological pair, from the first time Remus had met them, but it wasn’t too bad of a change. I’m happy for him.

If Remus felt out of place in the living room, he certainly felt the same as he stepped into Sirius’s bedroom. Large bookcases loomed over him from one of the walls, filled with all the literature he’d ever wanted and a few stray comic books. However, that was where the small touch of personality seemed to end as his eyes shifted to the king-sized bed pushed against the wall, draped in silk sheets and a golden throw. Remus couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp as he looked on.

Sirius laughed slightly, “It’s not as fancy as it looks, I promise.”

“Shit, this whole house is…” He trailed off, searching for but not quite finding the words to express what he thought.

“I hate it here,” Sirius admitted, sitting down on his bed gingerly. “I hate this house, I hate being here, I hate thinking about it.”

Remus sat beside him, tangling their legs together and placing his hand on top of Sirius’s, “You don’t have to do it alone, you know. I’m here, and Regulus, and everyone else.”

“I know,” He said, threading their fingers together. His eyes were sad, contradicted by the smile spreading on his face. Remus thought the dimples on his cheeks were impossibly cute. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t think I said that before. Thank you.”

“No place I’d rather be, love.” Remus said honestly, his hand drawing circles on Sirius’s jaw. When they kissed, it was gentle and kind and tender with all the care they could give one another. Sirius almost sighed as he felt a familiar nip of teeth on his bottom lip, falling back onto the bed under the weight of his boyfriend’s mouth. What was at first slow and quiet gradually became more heated, passionate with want and teenage hormones. He straddled Remus’s hips, strands of hair falling into his eyes causing them both to laugh slightly.

Remus blinked up at the ceiling as Sirius moved down to his neck, peppering kisses over his cheeks and jaw on his way. Hands threaded through each other’s hair, breathing deeply and melodically, the two fitted together like two pieces of a perfect puzzle, moulded like clay. Neither were particularly religious, not necessarily believing in greater powers but somehow it was as if they were always meant to be together. Remus opened his eyes, “Wait, wait, Sirius, fuck, we need to talk about this.”

“You didn’t want to do much talking a few minutes ago, did you?” He punctuated it with a heavy kiss to his neck.

“Sirius.”

He giggled, fucking giggled, “I know, I’m sorry.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his jaw once more, before leaning back to look Remus in the face, his thumbs drawing circles on his hip. “Go on.”

Remus licked his lips timidly, his own hands joining behind Sirius’s head. He let out a shaky laugh, “Regulus is just down the hall, you know.”

“It’s a big house,” Sirius said, his signature smirk showing itself on his face. “Thick walls, he probably can’t hear a thing.”

“Is that so?” They just looked at each other for a few moments, before Remus put a steadying hand on his boyfriends’ thighs to flip them over. Sirius almost groaned as their mouths met again, tongues swirling and hands exploring. His hands rode up beneath Remus’s hoodie, resting on the back skin beneath it as he tilted his head to give him more access to his mouth. Remus pushed a knee between his legs and to his crotch, earning himself another pleased noise.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I know it’s a big deal, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Sirius said as he pushed a hand through Remus’s hair. He said it with authenticity, genuine care dripping from the tone.

“Yeah, I do,” Remus breathed. “What about you?”

Sirius tore his mouth away from where it had been stuck pressed against Remus’s, sitting up slightly so that the tawny-haired boy sat between his knees. “I really do hate this house. There’s just too many memories, bad memories and no matter how nice Regulus is I can’t be here without thinking about it, you know?” Remus nodded along sadly as he spoke, “But maybe if I make new memories, happy memories, I won’t have to think about that anymore.”

“But that shouldn’t be the only reason you chose to have sex. I don’t want you to feel like you have to,” Remus reasoned.

“But that’s the thing, I do really want to. I really care about you, Re, I don’t think I’ve ever cared about someone like this. Prongs and Wormtail are great and all but you’re… you. I can’t even describe it. You’re dead fit, too. That helps.” Remus rolled his eyes and barked a laugh.

Sirius continued, laughing along with him, “What I’m trying to say is, I want you to be my first. I-, I love you. I love you.”

Remus bit his lip to subdue his overwhelming happiness, tears threatening to spill, “I love you too. Fuck, I love you so much.” They said it twice because neither could believe just how lucky they’d gotten, because it didn’t feel real enough to say and move on.

When it was over, they lay exposed in the evening sun flitting in from the window to bask in the afterglow. Sirius’s chest heaved, “I officially declare that your cock is a masterpiece.”

Remus laughed loudly, “Shut up.”

“Absolute masterpiece, if James only knew! If he ever calls you innocent again-“

“Stop talking or I’ll make you.” Remus growled playfully, running his hands along Sirius’s sides.

He leaned into the touch, “Is that a threat or a promise?”

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

nobody knows where we might end up, chapter eleven (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr: plastiquetiaras) | word count: 4828

AN: Thank you so so much for the continued lovely response to this fic, reading reviews makes me the happiest ever. I appreciate it so much <3 thank you writ for betaing and being the best.

(then)

“Ready? One, two, th-”

“No, I can’t click it, it’s too scary! It feels too real!”

“You’re acting like we’re watching a horror movie, B.” Vanessa tries not to laugh at the sight of her girlfriend peeking through squinted eyes at her computer screen. “We gotta finish the registration for the MCAT. The time has come.”

“How are we here already?” Brooke groans, resting her cheek on her hand. “It feels like we’re still babies.”

“We’re halfway done second year. Not so baby anymore.” Vanessa double checks the credit card number she’s entered onto the MCAT registration website and tries not to wince at the price displayed on the screen. Why is an exam that they’re forced to write if they want to apply to medical school so damn expensive?

“You’re always my baby, though.” Brooke gives her a cheeky look, and Vanessa grins, tapping her leg against hers under the table.

“And you’re mine. Now c’mon, we gotta finish or all the spots for this date will be taken.”

Brooke lets out a sigh of relief and nervousness both when they get their respective confirmation emails for the MCAT. Vanessa’s mind is already spinning over summer plans, how they’re going to have to study even more than they already do in the months leading up to the exam.

But hey. It’ll be worth it if they both get into med school. Especially if they can do it a year early.

“D’you think we can do it?”

Brooke looks at her with an adorably furrowed brow. “Do what?”

“Third year entry.” Starting medical school a year early by entering after their third year of university rather than after they graduate in their fourth year, a practice permitted in medical schools across Ontario. It seems like a fever dream to Vanessa right now, a concept that feels so far away but so exciting that she doesn’t even want to think about it too much.

“Dunno, Ness. Barely anyone ever does.” Brooke bites her lip. “It sounds so difficult.”

“We’re smart, though. Both of us.” They weren’t at the top of their respective classes for nothing.

“So is every other student that’s planning on applying to med school for third year entry.”

Vanessa sticks her tongue out at Brooke. “Shush. Don’t stifle our dreams. We can beat them all. I could probably take some in hand-to-hand combat, too.”

Brooke snorts. “Last time I checked, the med school application process wasn’t actually a literal Hunger Games.”

Vanessa scoffs, opening up a medical school application forum that she’s begun to frequent recently. “Sure feels like it sometimes.”

Brooke looks at her screen and tuts. “You know looking at that’s gonna freak you out even more.”

Vanessa sighs. “I know, I can’t help it. I just wanna know everything and be on top of everything, you know? And just know that we’re both gonna get in, and to the same schools, too.”

Brooke reaches out a hand, grabs Vanessa’s and strokes the top of it with her thumb. “Hey, no matter what, we’ll figure it out, okay? And become badass doctors in the process.”

Vanessa squeezes back. “Imagine if we both get into med school here, and can stay in Toronto. Keep our apartment, do all of our clinical placements here too. Kill it together.”

Brooke smiles. “That’s all I want, Ness. Though we still gotta be ready for it to not happen. Cause we never know. It’s so hard to get in.”

“I know, I know.” Vanessa sighs. “I just want it so bad.”

“Me too, baby. I want it, too. I hope we get it.” Brooke stands up, comes to stand behind Vanessa and bends down so that she can wrap her arms around her. Vanessa covers Brooke’s hands with her own. “Which is why, starting tomorrow, we’re on full MCAT studying mode. I’m gonna make a schedule tonight.”

Vanessa sputters at Brooke’s declaration. “Already? Bitch, we have midterms coming up first next week!”

“Do you want to get into med school or not?”

Vanessa huffs. “Fine. I’m already tired, though, just so you know.”

Vanessa can feel Brooke’s laugh on her back, from the way Brooke is leaning against her. “Okay, Miss ‘I’m tired,’ come and help me with the tacos for dinner. I’m hungry.”

Vanessa grates cheese at their kitchen island while Brooke tends to the taco meat on the stove, and Vanessa is struck by just how domestic they’ve become. Making dinners together, studying, catching kisses here and there as they come and go from their respective classes and volunteering positions and work in the labs on campus. Their tiny one bedroom apartment feels like a mansion to Vanessa sometimes, because it holds everything she could ever want - Brooke, their pets, a sense of security. A feeling of home.

Vanessa doesn’t want to lose it, ever.

Apollo jumps up onto the counter, suddenly very interested in the tomatoes that she’s begun to chop. Vanessa sticks her hand out to keep him away from the knife, and can’t help her giggle when Apollo nuzzles against it instead.

“Lemme finish chopping and I’ll give you all the attention you want, kitty-kitty.” Vanessa picks him up and lowers him to the ground, away from the knife and chopped vegetables spread on the counter.

Brooke pulls the pan off of the stove, and spreads out the different toppings they’ll need for their tacos. Vanessa can’t help but let out a noise of delight.

“I’m fuckin’ hungry. I’m gonna eat at least, like, five.”

Brooke snorts. “Five?”

Vanessa nods as she begins to already fill up her first taco. “At least.”

“You’re approximately the size of a Polly Pocket, babe. Five?” Brooke grins at her and Vanessa sticks her tongue out.

“Not my fault you’re some sort of tall Amazonian goddess.”

Brooke comes around to Vanessa’s side of the kitchen island and puts her arms around her waist, pulling Vanessa in closer. Vanessa looks up at her and can’t help but rise on her tiptoes to kiss her, feeling the way Brooke smiles into it. Brooke breaks the kiss, bending down slightly to scoop Vanessa up underneath her thighs and it makes her yelp, wrap her arms around Brooke’s neck tighter. Brooke sits her down at the edge of the counter, and it makes them closer in height, more eye to eye.

This Brooke is Vanessa’s favourite version of Brooke - the one with sparkling eyes and a calm heart filled with so much love that it’s threatening to spill out. Brooke presses kisses all over her face that make Vanessa giggle, and she can’t help but think about how lucky she is.

It scares Vanessa sometimes, that she feels like she’s found her person when they’re both so young, still in university. They still have so much to go, so much to weather through before they’re even established in their careers at all. Sometimes, she feels like she’s preemptively losing Brooke, thinking about the future and the possibility that they may not be able to last.

But they will. They have to.

Brooke reaches around for Vanessa’s plate and grabs one of the tacos that she’s already made, making her protest immediately. “Hey!”

Brooke steps out of her grasp, giggles as she starts to eat Vanessa’s taco. “You snooze, you lose.”

Vanessa jumps off the counter. “Bitch, if your fine ass touches another one of these tacos after that one, I swear to-”

Brooke presses a kiss her lips, effectively making her trail off with a mmph, and snickers when Vanessa bats at her shoulder.

“Hmph. You taste like salsa.” Vanessa grabs another taco from the plate and starts munching on it herself.

“I’ll make you an extra taco once these are done, promise.” Brooke finishes the last bite of her taco with a flourish and Vanessa huffs.

“You better. Out here stealing my food and shit.” Vanessa huffs, though can’t help her grin.

Brooke makes everything so much more fun. The late study nights, the early classes, the television show marathons that they have on their couch every other weekend. She hopes that it will never, ever have to end.

Vanessa’s phone rings while they’re doing the dishes, Vanessa washing while Brooke dries. Vanessa runs over to her phone, letting out a delighted squeal when she realizes that it’s her mom on the other end of the line. She puts it on speaker so that they can keep cleaning up.

“Hi, Mami!”

“Hi to you too, mija.” Vanessa’s mom has a loud voice and it projects throughout their small apartment, making Vanessa grin.

“You at work?”

“Taking a fifteen minute break. Freaking Donna took so long on hers and made me cover her patients for thirty minutes so I chewed her out and she felt guilty about it, and that’s how your mama earned an extra little break for herself.” Vanessa can hear the smugness in her mother’s voice without even having to see her face.

“I’d expect nothing less.” Vanessa snickers as she looks over at Brooke, who seems to be attempting to hold back a laugh as well.

“Enough about Donna. How’s your week going? Are you eating well? Are you sleeping?”

“Week is good. Haven’t eaten a vegetable in weeks. Not sleeping a wink.” Vanessa grins as Brooke raises her eyebrow at her answer. Vanessa loves goading her mom for the sheer entertainment value that she provides when she’s riled up, not unlike Vanessa herself.

“You want to die of scurvy, mija? Is that what you want? Out here trying to become a doctor and not eating any vegetables?”

“Don’t worry, mami. Eating and sleeping well both.”

“You better be.” Vanessa can hear the sounds of the hospital on the other end of the line. Despite the fact that her mom is working the night shift, she still hears snippets of conversations and rhythmic beeps faintly echoing in the background. The hospital never sleeps, not even at night.

“How’s Brooke? Put her on the line.” Vanessa’s mom hasn’t met Brooke in person yet but has already taken a liking to her from their short phone conversations, something that makes Vanessa want to dance around with happiness.

“It’s on speaker. Hi, Mrs. Mateo.” Brooke’s voice is squeaky as it always is when she’s talking to Vanessa’s mom, intimidated and desperately wanting to make a good impression. Brooke’s nervous state wants to make Vanessa crack up every time, because what does Brooke even have to worry about? There isn’t anyone who doesn’t immediately love her upon talking to her.

“How are you doing, sweetie? Vanessa not bothering you too much?” Despite the crack directed at her, Vanessa softens at nickname. Her mom is loving, fiercely protective when she wants to be, and seems to have a sixth sense of when someone may need it.

Brooke’s cheeks are pink, and Vanessa can see from the smile that she’s struggling to hold back that she’s pleased. “Doing okay. Vanessa’s perfect, as usual. We registered for the MCAT today.”

“Nuts, the two of you. Writing the MCAT. I’m telling you, nursing school-”

“We ain’t gonna apply for nursing school, Mami!” Vanessa can’t help but interject, and Brooke snickers.

“You two just like the harder route, huh? At least you have each other to lean on. And Brooke?”

Brooke perks up. “Yeah?”

“Good luck on that organic chemistry midterm you said that you have coming up soon. You’ll do wonderful.”

Vanessa melts when she sees the smile that takes over Brooke’s face, the way her eyes are shining slightly. “Thank you, Mrs. Mateo. I appreciate it a lot.”

Vanessa’s mom hangs up after the two of them promise to sleep earlier and take care of themselves, and Brooke turns to Vanessa as they finish up the dishes.

“Your mom is the absolute sweetest.” It comes out as a sigh, and it makes Vanessa reach for Brooke’s hand and squeeze it.

“She loves you more than me, I swear. Once she meets you this summer in person she’s gonna lose her mind.”

Brooke looks at Vanessa with wide eyes. “Do you think she’ll still like me?”

“Of course she will, dolt.” Vanessa swats at her arm. “She’ll use the opportunity to give you a million hugs that she can’t transmit over the phone.”

“You’re so lucky. Your family is so lovely.” The longing in Brooke’s voice tugs at Vanessa’s heart.

Vanessa develops grudges too easily, but the one that she can feel building against Brooke’s family is valid, and is one that grows more and more as time goes on. Vanessa’s seen Brooke come back from visits to home with her shoulders slumped too many times, seen her try to avoid crying by biting her lip as her mom chews her out over the phone. She hates to see how much they’re capable of hurting her without even having to try. Vanessa tries, at those times, to make things better. Extra cuddles, more encouraging and soft words than usual. She’s not sure, however, if it’s a good enough substitute.

“They love you, babe.” Vanessa leans up to kiss Brooke’s cheek. “Well, my mom does. Julio’s too invested in his computer games to care about anything else.”

Brooke cracks a smile despite herself, leaning into Vanessa’s touch. “I’m excited to meet them both.”

“You say that now. Wait till she’s roasting you too. Won’t take long for it to happen.” Vanessa grins. “She’ll have plenty of opportunities to gently bully you this summer while we study for the MCAT.”

“Somehow, I’m really looking forward to it.”

It’ll be good for Brooke. Both of them, really. Vanessa knows it.

(now)

“Brooke, open the fucking door.” Vanessa’s fist raps on Brooke’s office door as she pleads. Vanessa ignores the fact that they’ve flipped positions, that she’s the one trying to get Brooke to open up. She’s going to keep knocking because they need to talk, and they can’t keep doing this anymore.

The door swings open while Vanessa’s fist is still raised in the air, ready to knock again. Brooke’s face is cold and hardened, the annoyance on her face visible and it almost makes Vanessa take a step back. Almost.

“Do you fucking mind?” Brooke hisses the words at her, nearly shutting the door in her face again but then Vanessa sticks her foot in, preventing her from closing it. Brooke’s hold on the doorway lessens for just a millisecond and Vanessa takes the opportunity to slip inside, ignoring Brooke’s protests.

“We need to talk.” So what if Vanessa sounds like she’s pleading? They need to talk, actually talk - not fuck their way through things, or avoid feelings because it’s not working out for her. It isn’t for Brooke either, from the dark circles underneath her eyes, the slump of her shoulders as if she’s being weighed down by too much for her to carry.

“We really don’t.” Brooke turns away from her, walks towards her desk. Vanessa follows on her heels, undeterred, because she’s not going to give in that easily.

“Yeah we do, B! Things are fucked and I don’t know about you, but I ain’t having a good time like this. We need to.”

Brooke turns around suddenly and Vanessa realizes that she’s right there, right in front of her and Vanessa has to look up to make eye contact. The sharp rise and fall of Brooke’s chest matches the hidden fire behind her eyes, a heat that rises in steam across her skin.

“You’re not having a good time, huh?” Brooke’s laugh has no humour laced through it, veering on the side of bitter. “That sucks for you. Really does. Sorry to hear that.”

Vanessa knows Brooke’s tendencies to lash out when she’s cornered, but it’s not going to stop her from provoking her further. “Bitch, you’re the one who went home with someone else last night.”

Brooke takes the bait, like Vanessa knew that she would. “Oh, so suddenly I’m not allowed to do so?”

“That’s not what I said-”

“You made yourself pretty clear the other day. That you were done with whatever this is. I got the message with the closed door in my face.” Vanessa can hear the hurt, the anger in Brooke’s voice. They’re subtle cues that wouldn’t be noticeable to the average person but Vanessa knows (used to know) Brooke well enough that they shine through, no matter how much Brooke wants to hide them from her.

Vanessa deflates, because how can she explain it without sounding stupid? “I thought you just wanted something physical, since that’s what we were doing, hell, I still don’t know if you do and I freaked out, I know, ‘kay?” She takes a deep breath, continues because once she starts she can’t stop and Brooke needs to know that she still cares. “Because I realized that I still like you, really like you and miss you a fuck ton and couldn’t do it if that was just what you wanted.”

Brooke looks like she’s gotten the breath knocked out of her, as she takes a step backwards but hits the back of her legs on the desk. “Are you kidding me?”

“And I get it if you don’t feel the same-”

“You can’t just say that.” Brooke’s voice trembles in a way that Vanessa hasn’t heard in years and it makes Vanessa wince. Maybe her delivery hadn’t been the best, but she’s not good at talking and feelings and it’s hard. “You can’t just cut me out then waltz in here and say those things after leaving me to pick up the pieces.”

Vanessa doesn’t say anything to stop Brooke as she continues, because a part of her needs to hear where this is going, even if it’s going to leave her a mess. It’s like she’s become a sucker for punishment, needing to see it through to satisfy some sick need in her brain for catharsis.

“You always do this. You just come and go whenever you want, and I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore. That’s not me. It wasn’t me back then, either.”

Vanessa can’t stop herself from interjecting, cutting off Brooke’s story because she’s saying it all wrong. “That wasn’t the same thing and you know it.” It wasn’t. That was different. The way they broke up was not like…this.

“Why not? You play by your rules now and you did then too. You run when you’re in trouble and things get difficult, and I get it, I really do.” Brooke’s laugh is bitter, marred by a tinge of sadness that contrasts with the set of her jaw. “I wouldn’t stay either.”

The words twist at Vanessa’s heart, turning it around and making knots and she feels heavy, weighed down, as if they’re anchors in her soul.

“Fuck off. That’s not true. I don’t run, I didn’t then either.” Vanessa can’t help her voice from raising because it’s not true, and Brooke’s being unfair because she’s the one that slept with someone else and didn’t even say anything about the voicemail and-

“I found out from Silky when you left back then, you know that?” Brooke’s voice breaks as she cuts off Vanessa’s train of thoughts, and it makes her freeze. Brooke wipes the tear threatening to leak from her eye as if it’s personally wronged her, and Vanessa wonders if it’s possible to have her heart torn without anyone actually touching it. “Why the apartment was half empty and Riley was gone and you were gone as if it all had meant nothing.”

No, no, no, Vanessa doesn’t want to talk about this, they can’t talk about this and she has to fight every cell in her body that is telling her to leave. “It wasn’t nothing-”

“I’m not doing it again. I get that you want to play by what works for you, but I can’t.” Brooke draws in a ragged breath, avoiding her eyes. She picks up her clipboard, her notes scattered around her desk. “I have to go.”

“Brooke-”

“Please let me go.” Brooke doesn’t wait for an answer, pushing past her and leaving the door swinging as she exits.

Vanessa’s frozen in Brooke’s office, the ticking of the minute hand of the clock on the wall coinciding with the way that her heart shatters just a tiny bit more with every passing second.

She’s fucked up.

“Office hours ended half an hour ago, come back tomorrow.” Silky’s voice floats through the English department office corridor as Vanessa knocks on her door. Getting through the workday felt impossible, like she was ricocheting off the walls of the hospital and no amount of work could calm her down.

“Silk, it’s me.” Vanessa can’t help the panicked edge in her voice as she peeks around Silky’s office door, her friend surrounded by stacks of papers and her glasses slightly askew.

“Vanj! You’re early!” Silky holds up the paper that she’s reading through. “Look at this. This kid spelled ‘allegory’ as ‘Gregory’. Who does that?”

Despite the nervous energy that’s lighting up her insides, Vanessa can’t help but snort. “Honestly, that was me back in uni. Dumb as hell in English.”

Silky waves her off. “You’re lucky that I was your roommate, bitch. Fixing all your stupid ass typos. You’re welcome.”

Vanessa takes the opportunity to collapse into the chair in front of Silky’s desk, grabbing the nameplate that says Dr. Ganache and turning it over and over in her hands. “Silk. Dear Silk. I have a problem. Big problem. Big, big, big, problem.”

“What, that you’re working with Brooke?”

“What? No, not that. Wait, how do you know that?”

“Bitch, you wouldn’t tell me which hospital you got hired at when you first moved back here and you always change the subject when I bring her up. Who else?”

Vanessa sputters. “Okay, well. Maybe true.”

“Also because Miss Brooke and I are still pals and have a longstanding monthly coffee date and you bet she was bitching about you.” Silky looks smug, too smug, by the turn of conversation.

Vanessa sits up in her chair. “She was? Rude.”

Silky points a finger at her. “Aha! So it is about her.”

Vanessa shifts. “Maybe. I have a problem. A big problem.”

“More than working with your ex?”

“Kinda?” Vanessa bites her lip, because if it’s anyone’s advice she needs it’s Silky’s, but she also wishes she could just push it away and not talk about it.

Silky sighs, taking off her glasses and laying them gently on her desk. “Okay, talk. Dr. Ganache is here to listen.”

“You ain’t that kind of doctor, Silk.”

Silky is unperturbed. “You want advice or not?”

Silky’s eyebrows get closer and closer to her hairline the more Vanessa goes on, recapping the past few months working at the hospital with Brooke. Vanessa’s certain that she sees her rubbing her temples at one point, but is too distracted by the memory of Brooke’s face when she had walked away to comment on it.

“Vanj. You a dumbass bitch.”

“I know, Silk.”

“Real fucking stupid.”

“I’m aware.”

“Whole ass idiot.”

“Are you just gonna sit there and insult me?” Vanessa grumbles and folds her arms because Silky is not helping her at all.

Silky leans forward in her seat. “Let me get this straight. Y’all started fucking.”

“Mhm.”

“Then you went all runaway on her.”

Vanessa winces. “Mhm.”

“Then you drunk dialled her ass.”

“Maybe?” Now that Silky recaps it, everything really is a mess. She’s a mess.

“No wonder she’s pissed at your idiot ass. Did I not raise you well?” Silky rubs her temples, looking exasperated.

“You’re not my mom, Silky.”

Silky scoffs. “Evidently not, with these stupid ass decisions.”

“Ugh.” Vanessa groans, dropping her head down onto Silky’s desk. “What do I do?”

“She’s gonna run like a startled deer or some shit if you bother her too much now. You gotta be careful.”

“How?” She doesn’t know how to, she’s as subtle as a bull in a china shop and doesn’t know how to watch her actions. Usually she’s unapologetic about it, not bothering to care but now she’s knocked too many things over and doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces.

“Give her time. She’s probably hurting. If you still feel all lovesick after a few days, then try again. But let her be for now.”

“I’m not lovesick.” Vanessa huffs, because she’s not. But how can she let Brooke be? How can she hold back from trying to talk to her, fix things?

“Potato, pot-ah-to.” Silky waves her hands, turning back to the papers on her desk. “Let me finish this last one, then we can eat and you can tell me all about how hung up you are over her.”

Vanessa lets the days pass one by one, biting her lip and wringing her hands and fiddling with the hem of her scrub shirt because she doesn’t know what else to do.

Nina calls a meeting for all of the surgical departments first thing on a Wednesday morning, and the only reason that Vanessa gets there early is because she may have possibly woken up at five a.m., unable to stay in bed. Maybe she hasn’t been sleeping well at all in the last few days. She tries not to think about it.

The conference room is empty when she opens the door, as are the chairs that surround the large table in the center of the room. Vanessa claims a spot towards the back, saving seats beside her for the other cardiothoracic surgeons. It’s the first time that she’s beaten anyone to a meeting, and she can’t help the smug sip that she takes of her coffee as she waits for the rest of the staff to arrive.

Vanessa’s ready to let out a wisecrack as soon as the door opens next, expecting Asia and Kameron because they’re disgustingly early for nearly everything. Vanessa still hasn’t forgotten the time that Kameron showed up to her apartment at seven thirty p.m. instead of the specified eight for a jaunt to Ralph’s, interrupting Vanessa’s getting ready routine and nearly causing her to flash the poor woman while just in her towel. The two had agreed to never speak of it again.

Except this time, it’s not Kameron or Asia who walk in the door next. The blonde hair, the lab coat, the navy blue scrubs, the large coffee in hand? Vanessa can’t help the way that her breath hitches at the sight of Brooke, and how has to hold herself back from saying anything. The circles underneath Brooke’s eyes are beginning to deepen and her movements looking more weary, more worn down. Vanessa ignores the gnawing feeling in her stomach that repeats to her over and over again that it’s her fault.

Vanessa hadn’t even thought about the fact that what’s happening now mirrors what had happened to the two of them back then. The way things ended. Not that she even stuck around long enough back then to see Brooke’s reactions. Now, years and years later in the hospital, she sees it. Sees how the armour that Brooke’s built up over time is starting to gain chips in it, cracking underneath the pressure that she’s using to hold herself up.

It’s what Vanessa’s good at doing, apparently. Breaking the two of them down over and over again, leaving nothing but misunderstandings and broken hearts that don’t seem like they’re ever going to mend.

Vanessa catches the pause in Brooke’s step once she spots her, the way that Brooke’s eyes flit towards all other corners of the room and away from her, how she bites her lip as she sits down. Brooke opens her notebook and buries her face in it as if she’s reading the most riveting of text to ever exist.

Vanessa leans forward in her seat, elbows resting against the table because the position makes her closer to Brooke, even if it’s just by mere inches. She wants to say something, anything but she doesn’t know what will make it better. What can even fix them?

Are they even worth fixing?

She opens her mouth to make a crack about the weather because the silence feels suffocating, imposing on her from all sides and all she needs is for Brooke to look up at her right now. But the door opens once more, Kameron and Asia spilling in followed by the ortho team, and some members of Brooke’s neuro team.

Vanessa can’t say anything. Not with everyone else there, not knowing about anything between them or the boulders worth of baggage that they’ve placed on each other’s backs.

It doesn’t stop her from hoping, wanting, waiting. Wishing for more chances to fix things. Vanessa doesn’t know what she’s going to do, or how she’s going to do it either. She just hopes that Brooke will be open to it, willing to crack again once she does.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #hospital au #lesbian au #holtzmanns #nobody knows where we might end up

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imyourplusone · 5 years

Text

A Few Thoughts on Liz and her co-agent

I’m sure you can guess who and it’s all under the cut so buyer beware...

Yeah so the co-agent is Ressler of course because it’s not like Aram has much to do other than be the supportive fiancé to Samar which I fully support but otherwise what a waste of a seriously talented actor.

But I digress....

First, this isn’t one of those posts where it starts out “Hey this isn’t about shipping...” because TBL is really quite a different animal when it comes to ships than just about any show I can think of. So while I will always say ship as you please, I will also feel free to give my opinion when something feels not quite right just as others may about mine.

Second, nothing I saw in 6.8 or 6.9 in any way indicates Ressler and Liz are anything other than agents who work on the same task force. That being said here is what is pretty much annoying the hell out of me where those two are concerned (in no particular order):

The Laziness Factor: its deja vu all over again with that 2b drop in that Tom always loved Liz...which felt fake because it was, forced because it was and flew in the face of established canon. So pardon my disbelief that Liz and Ressler are best buds after barely speaking or sharing scenes from 3a thru 5b. That’s like saying my bff at work is that guy in my department who I see every 2nd Tuesday of the month for the staff meeting. We’re not and neither are Ressler and Liz.

This in no way implies Ressler and Liz = K2 because they don’t but it leads me to the next issue.

The Problematic Factor: There are Degrees of Wrongness with regards to past wrongs but just like Tom will always be that guy that put a gun to Liz’s temple, Ressler will always be the man that shoved one in her face while confirming he’d shoot her. We all know the story...Liz nearly died in the box if not for our hero Aram yada yada but here’s my issue with it all. Liz too easily forgave Tom for his wrongs and did the same with Ressler. And it’s been a problem from the pilot. Agent BoyScout has sniped and tattled his way through the series and so many times Liz stands there mutely and takes it. His arrogance nearly gets her murdered by the Director and the next time she sees him its Hi! About time! Lets go take me to jail :))

It weakens her character time and again and add that to her habit of crucifying Red for every sin real or imagined really puts her firmly in the unlikable category.

The Boys Rule Factor: Did Tom leave the Liz Plot Device to Ressler in his will? When Liz should be in a recovery arc, moving on arc, getting it together arc, she is still on this revenge quest with the added benefit of now being joined at the hip to Ressler. All Of A Sudden. This undynamic duo get the majority of task force screen time and it’s a waste....and for what? To give Ressler something to do? Ok we get it. He’s the new fave because it certainly isn’t Liz and never has been.

And making Liz the betrayer (I’ll give you one guess who I think it should have been) ensured her help to Red would be limited and dubious. It Again pitted her against the viewer’s favorite criminal making her look like the big meanie which she is. It guaranteed she’d be stuck with either Ressler or Nightmare Jen both equally tiresome at this point.

5b had the TF pairing off in multiple combos that kept things interesting and felt much more balanced. Liz benefits from interactions with Aram, Samar and Coop when he isn’t playing the unnecessary father figure. It humanizes her. Why not let her have a moment of concern for Samar. These two women had recent near death experiences and Samar is clearly struggling....Hey I know Liz recovered in one episode but god forbid she pick up on that. God forbid she see anything of the world around her while she is obsessed with the past.

But anyways suddenly Coop is a shipper apparently. Yeah I smell a rat and it’s not our pal at the prison I promise you. And who gets that coveted courtroom appearance? Right because why would Liz facing off with Red in court be exciting to see?

The Agnes Factor: Again well covered territory but the idea that so much valuable screen time can be wasted on the dead zone while 9 episodes go by with Agnes fading into oblivion. Excuse me? But hey I found out Ressler’s cousin was getting married and he’s feeling that dating anxiety and then ya know there’s this place to hire an actor....NO PLEASE CONTINUE BECAUSE RESSLER’S LOVE LIFE IS INFINITELY MORE IMPORTANT THAN LIZ CASUALLY DROPPING A LINE ABOUT HER KID TO FILL OUT HER CHARACTER A LITTLE AND PERHAPS MAKE HER SEEM YA KNOW HUMAN AND AN INVOLVED CAPABLE PARENT.

The Liz Factor: I’ll say what I said when Tom was the issue. It wasn’t Tom’s story just like it isn’t Ressler’s story. It’s Liz and Red’s story, both separately and together, in whatever way that progresses. With Liz such a mess of poor writing and this central relationship so fractured nothing else should distract from reconciling their dynamic and moving them toward the conclusion which is approaching this year or the next most likely. Viewers despise Liz and Megan refers to her as an antihero at this point just to deal with how she is written. Liz’s inner journey, Liz the parent and her story with Red are quite enough with regards to her character all of which are horrendously underdeveloped and mismanaged without adding another disaster on top of it.

After watching I was Yet Again left with the feeling that Liz is creating one mess after another and the only way to deal with that is to run and ask for help....always from a man on this show and since it was a double feature we had her going to Ressler and then to Red in the space of minutes. If this wasn’t such an old tiresome theme it probably wouldn’t seem old and tiresome. If she for once learned from an experience.....but, again, well covered territory. And I’ll just stipulate it’s OOC for her to have gone to Ressler and not Aram and Samar or even Dembe but that’s a rant for another day.

The writers should just once take an interest in Liz as an individual character and perhaps then she’d become a compelling woman, mother, agent, profiler, friend and develop meaningful relationships with those that the Vast Majority of Viewers are interested in.

#the blacklist #If you ship Ressler and Liz I'd keep scrolling #have a nice day #post 6.8 / 6.9

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nyxrsh · 5 years

Text

An Unexpected Apology

AO3 link

Words : 2132

After the entire incident involving Papa Garou, Chat wants to express apology for having caused such troubles to Marinette. Seeing his raw sincerity, Marinette thinks why not and decides to let him do his thing. Not having expected him to make such a ridiculous video she is struck quite speechless and questions her sanity.

But really, Adrien joining up with him as if to prank her is not really fair.

Marinette breathed in the Parisian air. It had been long since she had last come up on her balcony to seek the company of the stars and the occasional horns blaring down the streets.

Things had gone back to the way they were before the entire incident with Papa Garou. It had taken Marinette a good amount of time to ensure her father that the ways things turned out to be were the best in the long run. And also that she was absolutely fine with them.

And now, looking at the stars from her balcony, all she could think about how much a dork her partner was. His sincerity and devotion to his job. It was a shame she was head over heels for Adrien.

“Hey Princess!”

Ah, speak of the devil.

“Hey Chat Noir! Fancy seeing you here.”

“Are trying to reference what I said earlier here?” He asked grinning.

“Sharp teeth, sharp eyes and sharp ears? Why grandma! Your actions look a bit suspicious to me. Care to tell me why?”

Chat laughed out loud.

“Can I be your company for the night if you’d be so kind?”

“Sure, yeah,” she said, “I wasn’t planning to do anything. You’re more than welcome here!”

Chat did a double roll, show off, and stood beside her. They looked at the stars together much like they had done so a few weeks back when Glaciator had struck their city. At least he wasn’t perched like a fucking bird on her railings today. And much like that day, it was Chat who ended up breaking the silence.

“Marinette, I am so sorry for what happened the other day,” he began slowly, “I-I’d admit I’m not the best in anything that involves social interaction-“

Marinette looked up to him. It was not very often she saw vulnerability on his face. Yet it never failed to touch her heart seeing such raw emotions on his face.

“-so I guess I never really considered what rejecting someone by saying ‘I’d date myself if I could’ could do.”

Marinette let out a snort. Leave it to Chat to be still worried about something like this.

“I don’t fault you for that Chat, I understand humour is your way of trying to be comfortable with your surroundings”

“It wasn’t even that! It took me hypothetically asking my best friend stuff for him to say how fucked up anyone saying that would be!”

“I-“, Marinette chuckled, “-would have absolutely paid to see that.”

“Hey!”

It took quite before Marinette could bring herself to be quiet again.

“Still,” Chat said, “I feel really bad for having put you through that situation.”

“I think we just established that it was okay.” She said pouting slightly.

Chat grinned. “But that would mean you’d miss out what I have in mind to make it up to you!”

“You don’t really have to do that Chat.”

“But I want to! I’ve thought this over way too much and yeah I want to do this, but only if you’d want me to. So,” he said putting his best impression of baby doll eyes, “what do you say Princess?”

“Hmmm,” she pretended thinking about his offer, mostly because it was funny seeing him start getting restless. She laughed and said, “Alright fine. But not anything over the top. Right Chat?”

“I wouldn’t give any promises Marinette! You’ve have to wait and see!” saying which he took out his baton and leapt away.

Marinette turned around smiling and went inside her room. She saw Tikki sitting on her head probably trying best to eavesdrop.

“What was that about?” Tikki asked.

“Oh it’s just Chat being Chat. Like, what’s the worst he can do, right?”

“Is this really how to plan to spend the weekend kid? You could have been stuffing on so much Camembert! But no!”

“Shut up Plagg, this is a genius idea! I’ve waited so long to do this with a genuine reason to show someone!”

“Yeah, because people wouldn’t immediately pelt you with stones if they saw you doing this on a normal day, right?

“Plagg,” Adrien pretended whining, “Why do you have to bum me out so much?”

“Someone has to put some sense into that dead head of yours.”

“Oh hush, now help me out with this camera.”

“Tikki?”

“Hmm?” She hummed while watching ‘A Bug’s Life’ on Marinette’s phone.

“Do you fancy the ladybug character or something? I swear it’s like the tenth time you are watching it again.”

“Firstly! His name is Francis, fucking respect him! And secondly, No!”

“I guess I’ll take your word for it.”

Marinette turned back to her latest project which would be a gift for Adrien’s fiftieth birthday! Hopefully she would be married to him by then, because it really wasn’t something she could give to someone without having their spouse accuse her of initiating an affair.

Hope could eventually pave the way for happiness.

Or that’s what Marinette has to chant at least ten times at night to herself so she could go to sleep without crying hoping to someday be acquainted with three lovely children and a hamster.

Suddenly a tapping noise came from her skydoor. Passing it off as just hail she turned towards the window to cherish the hailstorm without developing a pain in her neck. Before, however, she could take a step towards her window the sound of glass breaking reached her ear. As she whipped her head out of pure reflex, she saw a gloved hand, making the okay sign, retreat.

It at times paid to be so clumsy, because her parents weren’t currently rushing to see what the matter was. Well aware about their daughter’s rather graceful approach towards anything, they were probably on the way to break out the cash labelled as ‘fueling more disasters’.

Asking Tikki to hide and reminding her to take her earphones with her, she stomped with anger towards her balcony. Being careful not to accidentally cut herself with the broken glass, she slammed the door of the skydoor open.

“Why you little piece of-”

“Marinette!” Chat Noir beamed jumping up and down with excitement. “You wouldn’t believe what happened! It’s like a dream come true for me!”

Anger instantly dissipating just seeing his enthusiasm, Marinette said, “Slow your roll Chat! What’s up?”

“Remember when I said I wouldn’t hesitate to marry myself if I could?”

“Yeah and I am hoping you didn’t discover time travel to bring your past self to the present to get married.”

“Oh.” Chat slowed for a minute mumbling something which very much sounded like ‘shouldn’t have spent that juice to peep on Ladybug’.

Coming back to their conversation he said, “No but this is something even more awesome! While sure I can’t find people with the same level of awesomeness as me,” he winked and pointed his thumbs towards himself, “but you’d be pleased to know that I found someone very close to that! And damn Marinette, he’s such a good find.”

Marinette was highly doubtful of Chat’s claims. But Adrien’s fiftieth birthday was so far away and a good story, regardless of its authenticity, sounded pretty good to her. So she decided to humour him and asked him to go on.

“Right here-” he brought a pen drive out of his pocket, “is the recording of my marriage to someone who is definitely worthy of this piece of evidence that god exists.”

“I’m…” Marinette was at a loss for words. “Did someone really agree to do that?!”

“Now Marinette, being one of the superheroes of this city kind of shoots up my top bachelor ratings. The guy was practically begging me to not turn my proposal down by saying this was a prank!”

“No way.”

“Yes way!”

“And that’s the video?”

“I brought it just for you!”

Marinette wordlessly took the pen drive and made her way into her room motioning him to follow her as well. Chat Noir was absolutely at cloud nine which honestly made her feel apprehensive about looking at the video. As they reached her computer she started waving her arms in a certain manner to tell Tikki that she should absolutely see whatever the heck was happening. And like most times, she forgot that it probably seemed pretty weird to someone other than the two of them.

“Why are you dancing like a monkey? Is it like a ritual that you do to turn your computer on or something?”

Marinette pretended clearing her throat and sat down, “Let’s go with that.”

Chat sat on the other chair and rolled it a bit, looking around the room and commented, “I totally forgot you had all those pictures of him. It'd probably stress you out then”

“Oh right. That’s, yeah, a thing. And no Chat, nothing could ever.” She deflected not wanting to admit her crush to him. “So shall we?” she said clicking to play the video.

“This is going to be so fun!!” he said while bouncing on his seat.

‘A complete dork’ Marinette thought as she turned toward the screen.

A hand obstructed the leans. “Is this thing on?” a strangely familiar voice asked. As the hand was removed Chat Noir was visible on the screen in front of a rock climbing wall.

“Yeah babe, doing a fantastic job there!” He said to someone off-screen.

He looked towards the camera now, waving and said, “Well hi there! It’s a really special day for me today and it’s a wonder I haven’t cried yet.”

Dork.

“Today, this video, shows you how much I’ve developed as an individual. Since the beginning of my strange career, I have been very much in love with my beautiful partner. And fully realizing that she values our identities very much and doesn’t want to have any sort of romantic relationship with me, with a heavy heart I’ve decided to let her go. While she’ll always be in my heart-“

“Hey!”

“-as a well respected co-worker. Geez let me finish! So yeah I am moving forward. And here, today, is my marriage to my match! Honey would you-?”

“Sure sweetheart.”

And entering the screen was Adrien Agreste in his best suit with his hair slicked back looking good enough to eat.

What?! (But damn did he look good)

“Here ladies and gentlemen,” Chat said with so much love in his eyes, “my fiancé!” While we’re both aware we are still not legally eligible to marry legally we’ve decided to exchange rings today-“

“Hence promising our love for one another.” Adrien completed looking towards Chat with such a soft expression.

What the fuck?

“Honey can you get the rings I kept by the door for us?”

Adrien pecked his cheek and went to grab the rings.

Marinette slammed the pause button and looked towards Chat with anger oozing out her eyes, regretting not having killed him at first sight.

“You’re going to miss the main thing Marinette!” He beamed at her, loving her reaction to it, and resumed the video.

“I have probably cried buckets today,” Chat said, “for I had always dreamed about finding my true love. Today I’ve had what life was so cruel to not give me these few years-“

“Aw sweetheart,” Adrien cooed wrapping an arm around Chat, “I thought we agreed we’d let the video thing slid smoothly. Here!” he gave him the rings, “why don’t you go first, ‘kay?”

Chat looked like someone had gift wrapped him the stars. He nodded plucking a ring from Adrien’s outstretched hand and slowly slide the ring into his finger. After an exchange of a longing glance, Adrien did the same and the both of them started jumping with excitement.

“Can we-?”

“Sure honey, just let me end this real quick.” He turned towards the camera and said, “So here we have it folks, the union of the dashing Chat Noir and the handsome, beautiful Adrien Agreste. Please do not feel compelled to give us any gifts! We’re more than fine with your best wishes! Till next time!” He saluted.

The video ended. And so did Marinette's hospitality towards Chat Noir.

Marinette silently turned towards Chat. He seemed to be waiting for her reaction wearing the biggest smile on his face.

She promptly screamed at his face.

Chat fled not wanting be in the presence of her parents a second time while being the reason of the distress.

As the rushing of her parents downstairs and Chat’s attempt at a smooth flee registered in her brain, all Marinette could think of was skinning Chat Noir alive the next time she saw him. And definitely taking a holiday.

She didn’t ever think there’d come a day when she wanted to punch Adrien straight in the face. Yet here she was. At least he’d have totally deserved it.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #ml fanfic #ml crack #ml crack fic #marichat #fake marriage to infuriate people #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #plagg #tikki #my fics

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rohobi · 6 years

Text

Pulse | Epilogue (m)

TOTAL STORY COUNT —84,779 Words ↳ CHAPTER INDEX

It's the 18th of August, 2018. The 230th day of the year with 135 days until 2019. It's been two years since the collapse of Forest Lakes Hospital brought Taehyung back into your life. You look back at your reunion with Taehyung now in humor, it was truly meant to happen. Fate, she was a beautiful beast.

It's been 1 year since you've practiced medicine in an ER and it's been 8 months since Taehyung moved into your home to be closer with Sunny.

You were happy.

You were in love.

And Sunny loved her dad very much.

Additionally, it's been a month since Jimin became a nurse practitioner, opening a clinic in the valley, where you occasionally practice to maintain your practicing registration. Yoongi proposed to the brunette on the opening day of the clinic. In a loud romantic gesture, Yoongi had yelled at anyone on the streets who would listen that he could not see a life without Park Jimin in it.

That Jimin was his forever.

Jimin, being the hopeless romantic, had been swept off his feet by a giant diamond ring and a gesture he'd longed for since they started dating. They were happy, grossly happy.

Seokjin and Namjoon were happy, both now working at Seoul Hearts Hospital. You and Taehyung were actually invited on a double date to watch Crazy Rich Asians with them next week but Taehyung has an occupational habit of falling asleep on you in cinemas and he's cute, but not that cute (his head is heavy).

Jungkook moved out after Taehyung kept bullying him. He lives with a girl he's been seeing who, unfortunately, has no medical literacy so dining table conversations get awkward but she's lovely and she's learning. He's had ongoing problems with the arm he broke in Forest Lakes, requiring physiotherapy. Jungkook's been taking it hard because it means, his dreams of becoming a world-famous surgeon are over but he'll be okay. He's got us to help him get through hardship.

Irene had signed up for medical school and was now attending one of your classes. She and Hoseok were close. Being a student, Irene is often seen getting a saline drip in Hoseok's office after joining in the festivities of college life again, much to his chagrin when he picks her drunk self up off the ground.

Mina, Taehyung's ex-wife, is pregnant again! She still works in pediatrics and has actually gotten quite close with your family. She's been banned from coming over after you found her poking holes in Taehyung's condoms.

Apparently, pregnancy makes her crazy.

Sana and Taehyung continue to be close working colleagues, she's a huge drinker these days. Her and Jimin have become best friends and have established a knitting club at the hospital and clinic. Jimin thinks it's funny when people actually turn up to knit. You don't find it funny when they stumble back to your house drunk.

Sunny is in primary school. She's become one of the popular students being as loud as her father. Taehyung has encouraged her to learn saxophone much to EVERYONE's desire for a good night sleep. She's decided that she's going to be a veterinarian when she's older. She thinks medicine for animals will be easier because people are too silly. You can't help but agree.

To be specific with your life, it's been okay. You've taken the year off to continue your education and to lecture at the medical school connected to Seoul Hearts. You work 5 days a week, an 8-5pm job, something that allows you to drop your child off at school and pick her up from after-school care.

It was Saturday today, unfortunately, half of your students had an early morning Saturday exam and your juniors had an afternoon lecture. It was a rare occurrence in your schedule to be working 6 days a week but today, it had to be done.

More meaningfully, it was the end of the semester before half your students went on break before starting their second-year rotations at the hospital. It's your exam and practice hints, and self-care class today, something you had been planning with Taehyung.

"Well," you close the book full of your notes as the sound echoes throughout the silent lecture theatre. "It's come to that time again.

"I'm not going to be mean and make you all stay till 6 to listen to my boring anecdotes when I know happy hour starts in an hour at bad grannies and all of you had to come in on a Saturday. So, I have decided instead, that I will finish this class by telling you a story about my trauma," you announce, stepping away from the podium. "I know all of you have been to my trauma class and heard about the effect of the Forest Lakes bombing on the medical and nursing team."

"I know most of you know what happened between Dr. Jungkook and I that day. I know some of you have worked with Dr. Taehyung in the orthopedic unit next door or Dr. Hoseok in psychiatry or have felt the wrath of Dr. Yoongi in ED. I know some of you were there and I know a student in this room played a cardinal role in saving my life."

Irene sinks behind her computer in the back as all the students look around the room.

"Why am I saying this to you all? Because they were all there with me and they were apart of something so huge, that it still affects me to this very second."

You all watch over their expressions as some close their computer screens. "I know you've heard stories and accounts of what happened just as much as I know most of you wish that you had been there but my story, something I haven't told any other cohort will describe why I'm glad none of you were."

The room goes deafeningly silent.

"But more importantly and more relevantly, no matter what you see out there in the field when you start your rotations in the next couple of weeks, you are not invincible. You'll come to realize that doctors aren't safe from traumatic stress disorders and you will see and experience some very traumatic things."

"To begin," you click the remote to the screen behind you. "It was 7 pm at night, and we had a multi-trauma MVA (motor vehicle accident) come through ER. I was given trauma bay with an unresponsive John Kim. He was barely breathing and it became increasingly clear that I would not be able to provide adequate medical help given my own personal circumstances with this kind of case. You see, prior to the evacuation of Forest Lakes, I had been with a patient with a similar accident, sustaining similar injuries."

The students all begin talking loudly amongst themselves at this revelation.

"Now, this is my last medical story I have for you this semester," you say, clicking on the screen that lists the details of the patient. "So, listen well."

[Flashback: Seoul Hearts Hospital 2017, March 11]

"Can you hear me, John? Wiggle your fingers if you can hear me?"

No response.

You rub his sternum.

Still no response.

"He's not responding," Your hands drop to your side. Your fingers tremble. You step back; your sneakers squeak against the floor. Blood soaks into the fabric. He's lost too much of it. You should probably get the nursing team to run 2 units of blood but he isn't stable yet.

"Breathing looks shit, resps are low 2-5."

He needs to be intubated. Intubate him. Now. Do it.

"My nurse in crime had him on oxygen and while I had spent 5 minutes trying to decide whether I should intubate John. He was a category 1 case for immediate surgical intervention and the anesthetist I was initially working with was required to assess the patient and anticipate the possibility of a difficult airway."

"Unfortunately, he had left the trauma room to attend to an incoming triple-A case (abdominal aortic aneurysm) and this never ended up happening. So, I had little confidence and little help," looking around the room, you all watch their eager eyes follow you. "A surgeon in John Kim's situation, which was me at that point, should be familiar with performing tracheostomies, that is standard hospital protocol. You know, cutting open the throat and chucking in a tube down their airway. It's a classic in the ER and I've done it a million times. It was standard protocol."

You click the screen, showing a picture of an intubated man.

"The nurse I was working with urged me to do an emergency surgical airway but, working with PTSD, I was experiencing flashbacks and felt tunneled in. When that happens, you lose the ability to think about the wider picture, this was the first time it had happened to me during an emergency. In this scenario, it didn't hit me until he had been moved to ICU that it was real. That it actually happened. That John Kim was a real person."

"Y/N, you need to breathe," Jimin yells, tying a tourniquet around the patient's thigh. "This is the end of your 20-hour shift, should I grab another doctor?"

"No, it's fine." You watch the patient's chest rise and fall to shallow depths. You watch the crease beneath his eyebrows even out. You watch the veins in his neck begin to gorge. Then the numbers on the machine beside him begin to fall into a place that would usually make you run into immediate action, but all you hear is white noise.

Static white noise.

Jimin rushes around you. The edges of your vision grow hazy. The lights around you are too bright. The sound of your heartbeat rings loudly in your ears. The rancid smell of blood should be something you're used to by now, but strangely tonight, the sight and smell make you want to vomit.

Makes you want to cry.

You can feel the blood being violently pumped around your body; it whistles in your veins, it runs in your arteries. You feel like you're hovering out of your skin, you're the shell of a doctor, and a scared former self-remains. You don't feel present, as though you were standing somewhere else, in a place far away. The more you feel it, the more numb you grow to feel.

Your patients going to die.

You're going to die.

"It was clear at this point that what happened when Forest Lakes came down and everything else with it, significantly affected my mental health. I didn't know it too until then either," you pace the room, watching all their faces. "You don't know anything until someone tells you or something happens, and unfortunately for me, something did happen and someone did get hurt."

A student raises his hand from the back, you nod your head at him. "Did he die?"

The student sitting beside him shakes her head. "Why would you ask that so early into her story?"

He shrugs.

Jimin shouts desperately beside you, trying to pull you out of the panic attack you think you might be experiencing but you feel so helplessly lost all of a sudden, as though you were left in a dark room with no doors.

With no windows.

With no light.

That it's hopeless.

"He's not responding, Doctor we need to do something," he shouts. "He's not breathing!"

"DOCTOR Y/N!"

"Y/N."

"Did I kill John Kim?" You stop talking, smiling up at the students as they sit on the edges of their seats. "Is that why I am no longer practicing medicine? Are you all wondering that?"

They shake their heads, talking amongst themselves.

You know they are.

"The short version is that no, I did not kill him thankfully but I was very damn close to killing him. You will never be alone when you practice. You have nurses who protect their patients from harm and as much as I hate to say it, from you too."

"John Kim died in ICU. He passed on comfortably with his family around him. I'm a good doctor. I don't need people to tell me I am. I know I am but when I think of that day, I know I wasn't. I wasn't looking after myself and I was ignoring my mental health. We are not made of a different kind of substance, we are just as sensitive to trauma as anyone else."

"You can do this," Jimin says, shaking you after making you do deep breaths with him. The static noise begins to disappear, removing the veil atop of your oblivion, revealing a completely lit room. A patient in front of you needing help. A nurse staring at you with a beautiful mix of concern and fear in his eyes.

"Y/N, we need you!" Jimin shouts again. "We need you, come back!" You take a deep breath then you take another one.

"I don't know..." you whisper, shaking your head. Jimin watches you and then he smiles, "He needs you, you're okay."

Your eyes sweep across the situation again as though it had become a completely different situation. "Jimin, we need more fluids and more blood. Get Sana to contact the family, we need an extensive family history and more information about what happened. "

"You aren't practicing after this patient Y/N.," he says, frowning at you. "I have to advocate for my patients and because I love you. You stop after this. I can't let you practice."

You smile back at Jimin because as much as you hate hearing that, you know in your heart that he's right. "You're right Jimin. Absolutely right."

Clicking the end of your pupil torch on, you turn back to the patient. You shine the light into his dark brown eyes, watching the reflex in one eye before the other. "Christ. Abnormal pupillary reflex, possible cerebral trauma," putting your hand into his, you shout at the patient. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

No response again but you knew there wouldn't be.

"Trauma affects you in different ways. It doesn't have to be during or straight after something scary, it can be latent, affecting you later like it did to me. I want each and every person in this room to know and understand that people react differently to things, I know that's obvious, but to emphasize with those who you care for, those who you sit next to and those whom you company."

The room is silent as the echo of your voice fades into the lecture hall.

"I want to talk to you all about something that will help. It's in no way replacing the fabulous work of a counselor or a therapist, but it's something you should all take on board. Let's talk about self-care out in the field that may prevent things from escalating to what my story told off."

You like lecturing, it gives you the opportunity to inspire and influence the future doctors of the world through your experience. Talking as you gaze at each and every student, you smile -feeling grateful. Teaching has also given you the opportunity to think about your own future and where you want to go. Maybe you needed to do more study? Perhaps, become the dean of the medical school at the university? Or, open your own hospital? Who knows.

But you're hopeful and happy, and that's all that matters.

"Lastly folks, looking after yourself is how you'll look after others. Please take your own pulse before you take other peoples. Thank you for attending my class today and I hope to see you all before you start practice."

"Alright, I'm done," You sigh, chucking the clicker onto the adjacent table as you step out from behind the podium. "Have a good break, you guys!"

You grip your briefcase, waiting for the last few students to drag themselves out of the lecture theatre. Stretching your neck, you rub the pad of your fingers against the tight muscles, feeling some relief momentarily albeit the reminder of the horrendous amount of marking you had to complete before leaving.

It was a different kind of exhaustion working in education. It certainly wasn't like emergency medicine and the visceral fatigue you felt after a shift, although you missed the excitement of life and death, you had to admit that it was actually kind of nice working with students who would someday fall in love with it too.

"Y/N," Irene waved, reaching you in three quick strides. You smile at the girl; she's changed so much in the last year too. Her once lavender colored hair, now raven black, contrasting beautifully with her pale skin. Her lips trembled into a tender smile as she approached you.

"I hope you aren't still blaming yourself for that day, John was a complex case," she sighs, as the two of you start leaving the lecture hall together. "But I'm glad you're able to talk about it, I was beginning to think we lost you to it."

When Irene had left her nursing career, you had handed in your resignation. It just felt right to take a break from healing others to heal yourself. "There are some cases that stick with you forever but you know this already Irene."

She nods. "I do."

"Have you worked part-time since you started med school?" you asked, it would be an awful shame if she had completely stopped nursing. You were confident that it would've given her an advantage over the other students.

"Other than working casual when they're short staffed, I've been taking a break, I'm actually seeing Hoseok and it's going well," she stammers, her cheeks dusting with a soft pink as though she had not meant to tell you that. You walk towards the elevators, a smirk growing on your face. "Oh seeing as in ...not dating, ...I mean, he's helping me with the nightmares."

"Oh, I'm sure he is-" you pinch her bicep playfully "-you crazy kids!"

"We're talking and it's nice, I meant, he's helping me deal with the nightmares."

"I saw you guys laughing at that new Italian restaurant when Taehyung tried to propose to me for the third time. You were holding hands and staring at each other, no need to hide it." you chuckle, enjoying how she was becoming. "I'm glad he's in love. I was beginning to think it wouldn't be possible for Hoseok."

"Oh, you saw us? Well, I guess I can't keep it from you. He's good to me although at one point people are going to start accusing me of nepotism. He's so obvious with his special treatment."

You laughed at that. Hoseok would never go out of his way to encourage nepotism, especially in his own line of work. In fact, you were certain Hoseok would ensure any benefit and achievement Irene got was because of her own hard work. "I am not going to comment on that. Love is love."

Irene stays paused outside of the elevator when the doors open. "Happiness is happiness."

Your heels click against the floor as you head in. Turning to face her, you hold up your hand to wave. "It was nice talking to you Irene. Give Hoseok a cuddle for me, tell him it's been a couple days since I last saw his ugly face."

"You guys work together, calm down," she smiles. "Hey, I'm glad you're healing and do whatever the hell you want, you deserve it. Say "Hi" to Taehyung and Sunny and Jimin for me, I miss them."

"They miss you too Irene. Please come to our BBQ next Friday, Sunny keeps talking about wanting to be you and it's driving me nuts."

"But nepotism Y/N."

"What's more important to you?"

"Fine, see you then."

The elevator doors close.

Leaving your office early that Friday afternoon, Taehyung calls you as you throw your briefcase into the back of your car. Tapping the hands-free option, you start the engine as his voice fills the car.

"Babe, where are you?"

You grip the steering wheel, indicating off the road with a click of a button before pulling out. "Hi hunny, lovely to hear your voice too. Yes, my day was great, what about yours?"

His baritone voice fills the car. "My parents have Sunny for the night, where are you?"

"That sounds suggestive, the couch too uncomfortable for you?" Stuck at the traffic lights, you mirr in suspicion. "I'm 5 minutes away, why? You got something planned for dinner?"

"I do actually. Can you meet me at Nimas at 5?"

"You better not be proposing to me because I'm sorry babe, it's going to be a no again," You sigh. You aren't entirely sure why Taehyung is so determined to persuade you that marrying him would be the next best decision since he moved in. He's a hopeless romantic and you have to admit, the proposals get more exciting everytime you say no but you know someday, you're going to have to say yes. "Why are we having an early dinner?"

"I've proposed to you 9 times now, do you think I'd propose again beca-

"-yes, yes I do. I definitely think you'll propose again," you interrupt, pressing the gas pedal down when the light turns green. "In fact, I'm looking forward to seeing what ring you'll poison me within the garlic bread. Can I say as a suggestion that putting jewelry in food is a bad idea, and not to do it."

"Hey now, the yogurt incident was horribly organized by the staff at that restaurant. You're lucky I know CPR."

Taking a deep breath, you shiver at the memory. Taehyung had taken you to one of the best middle eastern restaurants in the city. It had started with an argument on the way and it had ended with an argument as you yelled at him for trying to kill you. "We do CPR every time we're in the community, can I not be a doctor when we're out? And I know you were embarrassed that day, you didn't need to kiss me so hard in front of everyone to cover-

"-CPR. IT WAS CPR. I WAS SAVING YOUR LIFE."

Rolling your eyes, you snort. "So dinner tonight and you're only giving me an hour to get changed?"

"Jimin's at home, so you girls can talk. Be ready or not, up to you. The house is clean and Rosie is at Jungkook's new place for the night too. So, it's just us."

Frowning, you indicate onto the highway. Rosie. That damn loveable dog. "Still can't believe you bought Sunny a golden retriever, what's wrong with you? We're doctors, we don't have time to give her the attention she needs. And I can't believe you manipulated Jungkook into moving out, I miss him."

"Jungkook has an insanely large crush on you and it makes me uncomfortable watching him lust over a woman who lusts over me. Also, don't hate Rosie please, she is cute. Plus, you come home at 5 pm every day, you have time in the evening and I have time in the morning."

"He has a girlfriend and I'm a slob," he snickers at your comment. "But ...I lust over you? Since when? I don't, do I?

You can see the smile take over his face as though he were in front of you having this conversation. "Oh baby, you can't help it when I'm just this irresistible."

"I'm hanging up now-

"-I love you," he interrupts. "I'll see you at the restaurant! Don't be late."

"I'll be what I want."

You hang up on him.

He calls you back a second later.

You pick up. "What do you want now?"

"Y/N, I love you and do you?"

"Fine. I might love you too."

Taehyung hisses into the shell of his phone. "Might? Please, you love the heck out of me. I have the marks on my body to prove it!

"Then why do I need to say it if you know?"

"Anything could happen and I don't want it to happen without me telling you that I love you. I know you'll regret it too if something happens to me too."

"Nothing's going to happen. I'm hanging up now."

"Y/N."

"Fine. I love you Kim Taehyung, you crazy dog loving fool. I'll see you soon. Don't put the ring in the food."

"I think I'll just put it on the table then. Bye, babe."

"Really? Oh lord, bye Taehyung."

Jimin adjusts his tie as Yoongi puts his pants back on. They'd just finished visiting a million wedding venues before settling into the first LGBT friendly wedding apparel store. Yoongi had paid the owners to close it so their session with the stylist could be more intimate.

When the stylist had left them alone upon a request that Jimin's suit be of a softer fabric because he had sensitive skin, Yoongi had swept him off his feet, kissing the hell out of the boy.

His mouth had tasted like the white chocolate cake they had tried earlier.

"Yoongi," he whispers, reaching out to grab the lapels of his suit jacket, pulling him closer. "Do you think Y/N is going to marry Taehyung?"

"Baby, why are we talking about this now?" Yoongi leans forward, placing soft kisses down Jimin's neck. He whispers into Jimin's ear. "Because fuck no, not now anyway. Maybe a month ago yes, but now? No way."

Jimin frowns suspiciously as he leans into him. "What do you know?"

Yoongi runs a hand down Jimin's chest, resting it over his stomach. He leaves his palm there before winking at the boy.

Jimin screams, pulling away from Yoongi. "She's pregnant again?"

Jimin screams again.

Then he jumps like a child in a bouncy castle.

"I'm going to be an uncle!"

He claps as he screams.

"Please stop," Yoongi laughs. "She's not pregnant. She's just fat. Oh my god, you screamed so loud."

Jimin falls back on his feet, crashing back to Earth. "You were kidding?"

Yoongi nods, reaching out to him again.

"You fucker," Slapping him away, Jimin shouts at the poor blonde. "YOU CAN'T CALL ANY WOMAN FAT YOU PIG, AND HOW DARE YOU."

"Just mind your own business then, worry about us and our wedding instead. Leave them to their dysfunctional happiness."

"Figures, why did I think you'd know more than me?" Jimin sinks. "By the way, I am not moving out of that goddamn house anytime soon. I'm attached and Sunny is like my daughter-

"-yes I know, we'll be living there," Yoongi sighs. "It will be so ...cozy..." he cringes at the thought.

"I just need to get my clinic back on its feet and we'll be saving money before we build our own house, okay?"

Yoongi nods. "Okay. Speaking of home, shall we head back to mine?"

Looking around the room, Jimin spots the stylist hanging up their suits. "Let's go, I trust you've already paid for the suits?"

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi flashes his credit card in front of Jimin's eyes.

"Aren't you lucky I'm rich."

"Get that thing out of my face," Jimin chuckles. "One of us has to be, do you think nurses get paid well? No, we don't. So, you'll be paying for lots of things, like ...our drive thru starbucks we're going to get on the way home?"

Yoongi shakes his head. "You're disgusting."

"Awh but babe."

Taehyung has proposed marriage to you 9 times now and you've said no every single time.

Your relationship with him isn't like how it used to be. You're comfortable. He's comfortable. It feels right. But there's still that little piece of history that makes Taehyung feel like he has a lot to make up for and alot to promise, like marriage.

Marrying him in a hurry isn't something that you're interested in doing, especially when you're finally able to think about yourself for the first time in a long time now that Sunny has two parents.

"So, what do you think?" Taehyung smiles, pushing the little box across the table as you finish your mouth full of food. You were sitting across from each other in a small yellow Mexican restaurant. You were by the wall, table separated by a black divider for privacy and Taehyung was wearing a linen white shirt and suit pants. His hair was luscious, his soft brown locks falling just above his eyebrows, a small mullet forming at the back.

And he was smiling at you, brown eyes twinkling a million shades full of hope. It was his pre-proposal face, one you were becoming addicted to seeing.

He looked good.

But he always looked good.

You gape at the box next to the flickering candle. The ring is small, just how you like them. "What do I think of the ring? I think it's beautiful."

"Is it a yes?"

Staring around the divider, you see a hesitant group of musicians staring at you and Taehyung. "Yes to the ring, no to both the mariachi and marriage."

He blinks at you. "Why?"

"I don't wanna marry you."

"Why not?"

Shrugging, you pour yourself some water from the silver tequila bottle as Taehyung turns to signal to the mariachi band against coming over. "Obviously because I'm waiting for someone better to come around." you joke.

"I am someone better and I have come around. Is this because I bought Rosie? But she's our other baby? I know you love her!"

"This has nothing to do with the dog," you whisper, realizing just how loud you two were becoming.

Taehyung stands up, dragging his chair beside yours as he sits back down. He holds your hand tenderly, as he looks at everything but your face. "Is it me? You don't want to be with me like that?"

"No, don't be silly," you whisper, heart, softening at the expression of sadness on his face. "Taehyung, it's not like that."

He looks up at you, eyebrows furrowed. "Then tell me, so I can stop this."

"It's not you hunny," You rub your thumb over his knuckles. "But is there a reason why you want to marry me?"

Taehyung drops his head to avoid looking at you.

"Tell me." You whisper, trying to look at his face.

He turns his face away.

"Tae, tell me."

He turns away again.

"Taehyung," Holding a side of his face, you lean forward and kiss his lips, catching him off guard. He sighs, leaning into your affection before you pull away, "Tell me."

He shakes his head.

You kiss his cheek. "Tell me," You kiss his other cheek. "Tell me."

"Tell-" you kiss his lips. "Me."

"Fine," he smiles, admitting defeat. "I'm afraid you'll leave me and if I don't tie you down with marriage, you'll run after a younger looking hussy. You're mine. I just want it written down on paper."

"That's stupid."

"I know it's stupid. I'm stupid."

"You aren't stupid at all."

"I'm just stupid around you."

"Is that a crime?"

He smirks, winking at you. "A crime of passion?"

"You have my heart Kim Taehyung, always have and always will," A small smile stretches across your face as you lean in and softly kiss his lips. He melts into your affection, wrapping his arms around you. Its moments like these, where you're able to surrender the past you've had with him in order to feel the hope of a bright future that makes you feel peaceful with your life.

Kim Taehyung was yours.

As you were his.

Pulling back, he stares at you in thought. "Why don't you want to marry me though?"

"It's not that I don't, it's that I don't want to marry you right now. Can we get married in like 5 years instead of now?"

He smiles widely, grabbing the ring from the box and putting it on your finger. "It's fine! We don't have to get married right away. We can be engaged for years-

Interrupting Taehyung, a waiter sporting a worried expression with trembling hands opens the divider. The restaurants light invades your intimate area, casting light across Taehyung's calm face. "Hi sorry to interrupt, but when you made the reservation you told me you were a doctor," she stares at Taehyung. "And we need one right now, a man in our private eating area has just collapsed."

You both deflate. "I knew this was going to happen."

Taehyung stands up, pushing the chair out of the way. "We're never really off duty are we?"

Shaking your head, you smile at the man. "We're doctors, not soldiers. If we can help, we help."

The waiter runs you both towards the private area after you rip the green defib bag off the restaurants first aid wall. Pulling open the doors, a man is unconscious on the ground while a much younger woman smacks his chest.

"What's going on?" Taehyung says, immediately swooping into action.

Turning to the waiter, you urge her to call an ambulance when Taehyung shouts out that he isn't breathing. Taehyung immediately begins CPR. Grabbing the defibrillator, you rip open the man's shirt, placing the pads on his upper and lower chest. The machine picks up a rhythm compatible with the defib as you both stand back. The wailing woman beside you grabs onto Taehyung's arm, pushing her face into his chest.

Taehyung looks at you, discomfort written across his face.

You wink back.

When the shocks are administered, you fall to the ground. Taehyung pushes the girl away, shouting at the waiter to update the paramedic on the cardiac arrest at present.

Taehyung sits opposite you. You smile at him as you do chest compressions with a shiny new diamond on your finger. "She looks good on your finger? So, earlier, you said you wanted to marry me, was that a yes?"

"Really? Right now?" you pant.

"Why not?" he shrugs, watching you deliver two breaths. "She looks good on your finger while you do chest compressions."

Taehyung gets his hands ready on the man's chest as you both watch his chest expand with your breaths. You fall back as he takes over.

"Ambulance is on the way!" the waiter shouts as you hear the nearing sirens.

"Marry me Y/N," he pants, his bangs beginning to drip with sweat after 2 minutes of chest compressions. "I promise with everything that I won't stop you from growing into the person you want to become. I support everything you do, know that."

He stops compressions, delivering two breaths.

"Taehyung, I'll marry you if you save him," you snap, just wanting this to be over and to go home. Taehyung lifts his gaze to yours. His lips upturn as he excitingly gets back onto the man's chest, compressing with a newfound motivation.

"Where's the ambulance?" he shouts. "He got any allergies, on any medication?" he shouts louder at the poor sobbing girl. "YO' YOU GOT ANY ADRENALINE HERE? I NEED TO SAVE HIM SO I CAN MARRY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE"

You know it's an inappropriate time to laugh but you giggle. Taehyung is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. After some time, you both reassess the patient's condition. Taehyung shouts with more excitement. "He's breathing again. HE'S BREATHING."

You fall back onto your heels, fingers pressing against his jugular and you look at Taehyung over the patient on the floor.

"And we have a pulse too!"

"You know what that means?" He smiles up at you as the paramedics arrive just on time. "Don't take off that damn ring, I'm marrying your ass."

"Yes, I'll marry you Kim Taehyung. Goodness gracious, you crazy man!"

When the paramedics arrive and take over, Taehyung sweeps you off the ground and kisses the living daylights out of your blushing sweaty face. His hands rest around your waist, pulling you back and out of the room, past the ambulance, into your car and all the way home.

Time, something you could see yourself giving yourself too if he was with you. Of course, you wanted to marry him but marriage is and will never be your end-all.

He knows that.

And he loves you regardless.

Though the house is empty with the last hints of Jimin's earlier visit before retreating back to work, Taehyung slams you up against the front door, his lips not capable of leaving yours as he grabs your thighs, hoisting you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you rustle your keys from his pocket, shoving them into the door and pushing it open.

You pull the keys out before he kicks it closed behind you.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, he carries you to the lounge.

The house is silent and dark as the trickles of rain are illuminated by the bright moonlight baring down through the sheer curtains. Although in due time, muffled hums and broken moans will fill the silent space as his silhouette hovers above you gripping your waist, laying you flat against the living room carpet.

In the darkness, he kisses you, swallowing all of your throaty moans. All pretenses fall, Taehyung is a hungry dominating man and you were his next meal. He kisses, he licks, he touches you. It's like electricity, the way he makes you feel so inexplicably alive.

Every kiss he plants tastes like wine and you were getting drunk of the euphoria as he sheds your clothes, as your hearts race as your naked bodies move together like the finest of silk.

His musky scent surrounds you as he holds you tightly against him. His hands fall to your hips, moonlight splays against his back muscles as your toes curl when he gyrates against your hips, pushing his cock inside you. He bites his lips, squeezing his eyes closed as he holds himself back from fucking you hard when you moan at the pressure of feeling so damn full.

But Taehyung was going to take his time with you tonight.

He had all night to do so.

And when the early rays of sunrise lick your bare skin as you lay curled up into the couch throw on the floor in front of the fireplace he had started up last night, Taehyung holds you close as you sleep.

Jimin would be getting home soon, they needed to move. He kisses your forehead as you pretend to be asleep, before picking you up and carrying you back to bed. They can deal with the lack of protection later because all Taehyung can think about is the overwhelming peace he feels within his softly beating heart.

Untucking the covers, he places you underneath the blankets. "I love you Y/N.," he says as you nuzzle into his chest when he joins you. "You silly billy."

"Hey." he pokes your cheek.

He pokes you again. "Y/N."

"Aren't you going to say it back?"

You open one of your eyes. "How the hell did you know I was awake?"

He stares at you unimpressed. "Pretending to be dead sleep so I can carry you to bed? Pulling a Sunny move? It was almost a good job until you smiled when I picked you up."

"You're so strong though, who wouldn't love being carried to bed by you," Kissing his chest, you curl yourself into him. "I love you too. Let's sleep, okay? I want to sleep. You sleep."

"Fine. Let's sleep. Gotta get our energy up anyway with all the sex I plan on having with you this weekend while Sunny is gone."

"Gross. It takes two to tango, you know."

"I know, but who can resist me?"

"Go to sleep you rat. Goodnight."

He chuckles softly. "Goodnight Y/N. Thank you for everything."

AND SHES DONE. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

#bts fanfic #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtan scenarios #bangtan boys

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yoon-ing · 5 years

Text

Hidden Under The Covers Pt. 2.5

Part 2.5: Turning Tables

Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

College AU | When a fire alarm leads to a new friendship and a borrowed blanket is returned with much more than you bargained for.

Taehyung’s familiar voice pulls Jungkook away from his argument with the bouncer who refuses to let him into the pub, even though it’s the exact same guy who let him in last week. His wallet is forgotten in a pair of jeans he rushed to change out of earlier today after a lab ran late and he doesn’t have the patience to go back for it.

“Dude, what’s going on?” Taehyung questions once Jungkook is facing him.

Jungkook tells him he forgot his wallet, but before he can say anymore, he notices someone standing just a step away. He recalls Taehyung talking about some girl he befriended but he didn’t expect to meet you so soon. “Who’s that?” Jungkook asks nonchalantly, trying to play it cool in front of this new addition to the group, girls like bad boys, right?

Taehyung practically brushes off his question, giving Jungkook a lot less information than he’d like and tries to convince him to just go back home to get his ID. After one more attempt at getting in, with no help from Taehyung or the hostess who went home with him last week, Jungkook admits defeat and stocks away mumbling profanities under his breath.

It barely takes Jungkook 15 minutes to get home and back and in hindsight he probably should’ve just done that to begin with. Once he arrives at the pub, all the guys are already there, seated snuggly around the table with you squished between Taehyung and Jimin. He realizes he’s not too late to hear the introductions still going around the table and his eyes are trained on you when Taehyung announces that you’re seeing Jimin. It’s unexpected, but he’s not the only one who’s surprised, the entire table reacting with the same shock.

Jungkook sees the way you squirm away from the attention, blush creeping up your neck and he’s speaking before he can even think. “Don’t flatter yourself, he’s probably just trying to get his dick wet.” Jungkook mentally slaps himself once the words leave his mouth and it looks like Taehyung is about to actually slap him.

After his only exchange with you, he decides to ignore you completely, afraid he’ll say something stupid again that’ll have his friends giving him the stink eye. Instead, Jungkook focuses all his attention on the waitress who’s actually pretty hot, trying to chat her up each time she comes by the table.

By the end of the night, all the boys seem to have warmed up to you, actively engaging in conversation until it’s time to part ways. Everyone says their ‘goodbye’s and Jungkook is off with Hoseok.

“Y/N is nice, I like her,” Hoseok says once the two of them are down the street.

“She’s not that special,” Jungkook retorts, with a scoff.

“She’s Jimin’s girlfriend, so be nice,” Hoseok warns, “we’ll probably be seeing a lot of her.”

Jungkook simply rolls his eyes at that, but soon realizes that Hoseok’s words are true when he ends up standing at your front door with Jimin. The plan was to hang out with Taehyung, trying out a new video game he bought, but of course he had to get stuck at one of those boring meetings. When suggesting they just leave, Taehyung insisted they wait for him, giving them your dorm number just a few floors down.

You look taken aback when your door swings open, your eyes landing on Jimin first then travelling to Jungkook, who stands there staring at you hardly wearing clothes with your spaghetti straps and booty shorts not leaving much to imagination. There’s a small exchange between you and Jimin before you invite them in and Jungkook can’t help but feel like he’s third wheeling. He decides to put that thought at the back of his mind and finds his way across the living room to take a seat on the couch, but not without commenting on the bra he finds laying across the cushions.

Jungkook sits on the edge of the sofa, leaving lots of space so you can fit next to Jimin, but when you return to the room dressed in a different pair of pajamas that cover a lot more and you hand him the snacks, you don’t get on the couch like Jungkook anticipates. Instead, you lay on the floor not paying any attention to the boys sitting behind you.

The movie comes to an end with the credits scrolling up the screen. Jungkook looks around to realize he’s the only one awake, you on the floor and Jimin curled up in a ball on the other side of the couch. He gets up carefully and squats down next to you.

“Y/N,” he calls out, his voice no louder than a whisper. Waving a hand in front of your face, he gets no response.

She's kinda cute when she's sleeping, he thinks to himself for a moment. Carefully, he puts an arm under your head and the other at your knees, scooping you up in one easy go. He contemplates taking you straight to your bed, but the apartment is now pitch black with the TV off and he doesn't want to risk walking into a wall while you're in his arms. He opts for just putting you on the couch with Jimin and pulls the blanket up to tuck you in. They're dating so it's fine to leave them both on the couch, right? He gives himself a curt nod, as if answering his own question and then he's out of the apartment.

“Park Jimin!” Taehyung’s voice can be heard yelling down the hall.

The door to Yoongi's flat swings open and no one bats an eye, Taehyung's dramatic entrances something the group has gotten used to.

“You broke up with Y/N?!” he instantly exclaims, demanding answers.

Now the rest of the boys perk up, intrigued with the direction this conversation is going.

“We were hardly dating, and we both decided it'd be better to stop seeing each other,” Jimin civilly replies.

Jungkook sits quietly just absorbing all the information Jimin offers Taehyung and he can’t quite pinpoint the emotion he feels that has his shoulders lighter.

“But you two are so cute together!” Taehyung whines, as if talking about his favourite celebrity couples.

“Y/N is just cute in general,” Seokjin offers, earning nods of agreement from the other boys.

“Yeah, and whether or not they want to date is their decision,” Namjoon speaks up, always being the voice of reason.

“But!” Taehyung huffs. “I wanted to play matchmaker,” he mumbles mostly to himself, his lips in a pout.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone to set her up with,” Hoseok says rolling his eyes.

“I guess…” Taehyung responds with deflated shoulders. He turns to leave and he’s met with the question of ‘where are you going?’ from one of the boys. “Oh, I have to get back to Y/N… I left in the middle of a conversation.”

Everyone in the room mentally facepalms, a few actually doing the action as Taehyung walks away and he disappears out the door.

“Why doesn’t he just date Y/N?” Yoongi boredly says. And the rest of the boys agree with him, but Jungkook can't find words to join in on the conversation that ensues, chit chat about how similar you and Taehyung really are.

“Y/N's gonna be there,” Hoseok announces, looking up from his phone, presumably having just found out himself from one of the other guys.

He's in the passenger seat of Jungkook's car, Jungkook having picked him up just moments earlier to head over to the billiards hall where they hold their bimonthly pool tournaments.

“So?” Jungkook replies, pretending that he doesn't care when in reality there's a brief flutter in his chest that comes with each mention of your name.

“I'm just saying,” Hoseok huffs out. “I don’t know what you have against her but just because Jimin's not dating her anymore doesn't mean you don't have to be nice.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, feeling like he's in the third grade being scolded for not playing with you at recess.

“Oh, by the way, what are you doing next weekend?” Hoseok asks, changing the subject.

“I don't know yet, why?” Jungkook responds.

“I have a date with this really hot girl and she has a friend that's also really hot, and she asked if I have any friends interested. So are you interested?” Hoseok explains.

“Like a double date?” Jungkook scoffs, “no, thanks.”

“Come onnnn,” Hoseok tries to persuade. “When was the last time you got laid?”

When was the last time? Jungkook thinks to himself and he realizes it’s been weeks since he's even thought about a girl that isn't you. Since meeting you, he has hardly been in contact with any other girl, and while he doesn't need to make much effort to strike up conversations with girls, he just hasn't felt the need to, casual sex not as appealing as it has always been.

“Why don’t you just fuck both of them?” Jungkook offers, and Hoseok doesn't seem too opposed to that idea.

They arrive at the pool hall not long after, meeting Jimin, Seokjin and Namjoon at the entrance before heading in to play a few practice rounds. You're walking through the door just 10 minutes later, a step behind Yoongi, chatting away with Taehyung in that animated way that's so uniquely you, you can make anything sound exciting.

Jungkook hardly spares you a glance as the other boys greet you warmly, earning a hug from a few of them as they ask how you've been. The tournament goes smoothly, competitive but friendly as light hearted banter goes back and forth across the table with everyone taking sides and betting on one another. Jungkook's cold demeanor towards you never softens, even as you actively engage in conversation with all the boys and he shrugs off your presence as nothing more than a minor nuisance, although he would be lying if he said he isn't trying harder because you're watching.

When the games come to a close, he's almost inclined to offer you a ride home, but that would be suspicious and he would never hear the end of it from his friends. Jungkook settles for leaving things the way they are, because frankly he doesn't know what else he can possibly do; the two of you have established this hostile attitude towards each other and Jungkook doesn't know how he can change it, no matter how badly he wants to.

[A/N]: this was just a short little insight to Jungkook’s take on things!!! his perspective is more important later on, but he’s not all that bad, is he?

#jungkook x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk scenarios #bts scenarios #hola #part 3 is coming at ya soon #i wanna post it for christmas #:D #honestly this story isnt going anywhere lmao #s:1 #hutc #hutc: 2.5

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