#there's boys going in my class with hair longer than mine and they don't get pestered to cut it

[feralforriddle]

nobody makes me feel things.

summary: tom riddle x y/n, first person. tom starts to get really confused as to why he was feeling so many things for the sweet ravenclaw girl. but he seems to soften up pretty quick, leaving you just as confused.

a/n: my first ever fic! please give feedback if you enjoyed in the comments. this is probably super messy but i just kept typing lol. i hope u enjoy :3.

ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:･+*:ꔫ:*﹤˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

'what do you want.' he says, staring at me with his dark, cold glare. i gulp, immediately regretting my decision. picking at the skin around my nails, i pluck up the courage to ask him.

'um, i was just wondering if you were still tutoring people?' i ask, looking up at him anxiously. he stares at me for a second, seemingly very confused. or is he happy? angry? honestly, it's really hard to read him. impossible even.

'yes. i do, why?' he steps closer to me, looking down and crossing his arms. it's almost like he is trying to kill me. doesn't he realize how handsome he is?

'i am struggling at the moment in potions, a-and i know you're really smart in that subject. i was wondering if you'd help me?' i ask, trying to sound confident but failing miserably. why is it so hard to talk to him? obviously everybody knows what tom is like. he has almost zero friends, and he doesn't seem to care about making any.

but i have always been intrigued by him. always watching and admiring from afar. always found him exceptionally handsome. never found any courage to talk to him, though. so now is my chance to get his attention.

do i really need help in potions? not really. it's definitely not my most successful class, but i could probably still pass without his help. but the idea of him teaching me, maybe he could show me how to make potions too, standing behind me and guiding my hands-

okay, no. i am getting truly distracted now.

i have just always been so infatuated with him. my friends call me crazy for trying this, and that they have never seen him interested in any girl before him. i have seen him glance at me before, staring a little longer than just an accidental glance. so part of me is really hopeful he sees me the same way. and i don't have enough confidence to just ask him out, which is why i thought a study session would be good.

'i can help you. what is it you need help with the most?' he says, surprisingly softer. a slight glint in his eye. it did not last long though, he returned to his usual glare.

'mainly brewing the potions, getting things perfect. sure, i get it right but, you always seem to make them perfectly' i say, complimenting him lightly to see his reaction.

i did not get much of one.

'yes, mine are perfect. i can help you. i will ask professor slughorn if we can use the potions room after class hours, he won't mind i'm sure.' he says, nodding down at me once.

i smile brightly up at him, 'thankyou tom! i'll meet you there today around 6pm then?' i ask, beyond excited to get to spend more time with him.

he nods, squinting his eyes lightly at me before turning around and leaving. he certainly is a unique boy. i turn to return to the great hall and finish my lunch.

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i was itching for 6pm to come faster, wiggling in my seat in my final class of the day. i need to make sure i look pretty, too. i am incredibly nervous to see him, and be alone with him too. my cheeks go red at the thought. i am probably thinking of this way differently to tom, he probably isn't even excited. but i don't care, i just wanted him to see me, to notice me.

as soon as class ended, i sprinted back to my dorm to get changed and freshen up. putting on a clean white shirt, my slightly tighter one for no particular reason at all. and my ravenclaw skirt, pilling up a little further up my thighs than normal. i do light makeup, and ruffle my hair and im ready. this is very unlike me. i never dress like this, and to be honest i feel embarrassed but i want to catch his attention somehow.

it's 5:50pm, so i grab my study books and quill, and head quickly to the classroom. he arrives just seconds after me.

'hi tom' i smile.

he stares at me for a second, glancing down at my outfit. 'what are you wearing?' he says, glaring at me for a second.

'just my uniform..' i frown, looking down at myself.

tom's head erratically turns around, checking nobody is around. 'you walked down here like this?'

'..yes?'

'get inside, quickly.' he opens the door for me, and i rush inside, very very confused as to what is happening.

he looks at me again as i sit at the desk where he clearly prepared things. 'why did i have to rush in here?'

'because i don't want anybody else to see you like this.' he grunt, putting his books down before sitting beside me.

'why's that?' i say, a little hope bubbling inside of me that maybe it's because he only wants to see me like this.

'you ask too many questions. lets just focus on this' he says, avoiding eye contact with me.

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the whole study session i was incredibly nervous. i couldn't write properly because my hands were shaking so much. my cheeks constantly red through the whole thing. i sigh as he packs things away, 'thankyou for helping me, tom'.

'it's okay' he says nothing else before heading to the door.

i don't know why, but he seems even less interested after that. he is barely talking to me, his body language is just telling me he is uncomfortable. maybe he figured out my little plan and it put off by it? maybe he really just doesn't like me back. maybe i'm just not confident enough for him?

perhaps i should stop trying so hard.

i grab my own things and walk to the door with him. 'i-i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable tom, i'm sure you figured out what i was doing' i say with as much courage as possible. i feel ridiculously embarrassed. he looks at me and says nothing.

his face indicates nothing. nothing whatsoever. i take a deep breath. looking at him with glossy eyes, rushing out of the potions classroom and back to my dorm.

i jump on my bed, pushing my face in the pillow and letting a few tears go. i thought it would work, i really did think he might like me back. i was stupid to think so. he doesn't really feel anything for anyone. and i made such a fool of myself, trying to flirt or complimenting me, wearing this revealing uniform. oh god i want the ground to swallow me hole.

i just curl up into a ball and fall asleep soon after.

tom on the other hand, is left feeling very very confused. he doesn't know why he feels this way, why did he get a pang in his chest when he saw my glossy eyes? why couldn't he seem to breathe properly around me? he has never felt this way for anybody and he doesn't know what to do.

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the next day i head to breakfast, nervous about seeing tom there. he always sits at the end of the table alone, so it's inevitable he will see me as i walk into the great hall. i try and get there as early as possible, hoping i arrive before he does.

but no, he is sat there, and his head shoots up the second he sees me walk into the hall. my cheeks flush insanely red, my hands beginning to sweat a little as i feel his burning gaze on me.

i rush to the table, sitting by myself at the end too, not really wanting to tell my friends what happened.

tom sees me sitting alone and furrows his eyebrows. before even thinking, he stands up and walks over to sit directly opposite me on the ravenclaw table. i look up at him and panic.

'why are you sitting alone?' he says, staring at me.

'um, i just didn't feel like talking to my friends this morning' i gulp, frantically trying to avoid his gaze. he glances down to see them all staring with their jaws dropped.

'pathetic.' he mutters.

'you think im pathetic?' i say, eyes softening at him.

'no, quite the opposite' he mumbles, nodding his head down the table. 'that is pathetic'. my cheeks flush a little as i giggle at him. looking back up at him, i give him a soft smile.

'why did you come over here, tom?'

'because i don't want to see you sitting by yourself.' he says, taking a bite of his breakfast. 'come on, eat something. we have class soon'.

i do as he says, of course, but i am also extremely confused as to what is happening. from how he was acting yesterday, to this? i am very confused. but secretly i am really enjoying this.

'so, how about another study tonight?' he says bluntly. my eyes nearly shoot out of their sockets and my heart nearly came out of my chest.

'o-oh, um sure' i smile, covering my nerves.

'and you can wear that little outfit again. just don't let anybody see you on the way'. i nod quickly at him. and we quietly had breakfast together. he walked me to my class, which left my hiding my smile under my hand in class.

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i take a deep breath as i wait for tom to arrive outside of the class. i tap my feet on the floor in anticipation. my god, am i nervous.

'get inside, quick' he says, opening the door for me again.

i smile a little, rushing inside and sitting back in my normal seat. but there is nothing here set up to study like last time. he raised an eyebrow at me and slowly walks over as i look at him confused.

'what are we doing today tom if there isn't anything here?' i ask, turning to him as he sits beside me.

'oh i think we both know studying isn't the reason we are doing this' he says, turning to me slightly.

i almost choke on the air.

'i don't know what you've done to me, but i can't stop thinking about you' he sighs. 'it's awful, really. i haven't ever felt this way before, i was up most of the night figuring my feelings out. now i worry i am stuck, wanting you with me at all times when i can't'.

'yes, you can'. i jump to answer. 'just give me the word and i'm yours'.

'mine?' he hums, as i stand up and stand in between his legs, looking up at him.

'yours'.

he puts his hand on the side of my face. 'i hope you know what you've gotten yourself into. I'm not easy, darling'. he sighs.

'i'll get used to it' i smile.

'if i see any other man in the same proximity as you, i can't promise i won't hex them'.

'id like that' i hum.

'come here' he murmurs, pulling me closer into him, connecting his lips onto mine. and i melt. i've been wanting this for so long. his tongue swipes against my bottom lip, deepening the kiss as my hands wrap around his neck, pulling him to stand with me and wrap his arms around my waist.

'lets go back to my dorm. i have my own dorm because i hate everyone.' he mumbles against my lips. i giggle at him, pulling back and nodding. 'lets go' i agree.

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the next morning, i walk into the great hall for breakfast. tom's eyes find mine as he gives me a very small, but cheeky grin.

he stands up and walks over to my table before i can sit down.

he grabs my chin, pressing a kiss against my lips softly right in front of all my friends. as if to prove a point.

'see you in class, baby'.

i smile at him as he walks back to the slytherin table. i look down at my friends,

'what on earth?!' they shout.

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a/n; and we're done! please give me feedback if you liked this, or not. my first ever fic ahh! <3 love u angels.

#tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x you #hogwarts #harry potter #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys #voldemort

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Three

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking (cigarettes) word count: 3.4k a/n: thank you so much for the love on this series!! just letting y'all know it's gonna be a slow burn so it's gonna be quite the long series. also made this chapter a bit longer so pls lmk if you like the longer chapters. things will get more exciting from here dw. love you all <3

pov: layla

I was planning on staying at school the whole day, I truly was. But when I felt more eyes on me than usual and murmurs surrounded me with every step I took, I decided I didn't have the energy to endure the whole day. I would skip my next two lessons and come back after lunch, considering I skipped my last two lessons yesterday and the whole point of me being here was to not get expelled for missing too many lessons.

Matt and Chris talked amongst themselves behind me as I walked to my locker but stopped earlier than when I reached it considering theirs were a fair distance from mine. I swung my locker open, still hearing murmurs of my name as people passed by me and I sighed, resting my head on the small shelf inside my locker. I looked across the hallway to see Matt talking to both of his brothers now, looking like they were having a serious conversation.

I pulled my bag out of my locker, swinging it onto my shoulder before I slammed the door closed louder than I usually would out of frustration. People turned to look at me and I slid my hood on, walking down the hallway as people started filtering out for their next class. I walked out the front door without being stopped by anyone, a breath of relief leaving me but once I noticed how hard it was raining, my shoulders slumped slightly.

I couldn't be bothered walking all the way home and back, especially in this rain but I also couldn't stand being at school at the moment. Amidst my thoughts and pulling my pack of cigarettes out of my bag along with my silver zippo lighter, I hadn't noticed the doors of the school opening.

"Hey, social butterfly," Matt appeared beside me, his hair now covered by a black baseball cap. I placed a cigarette between my lips, throwing the packet in my bag before lighting the end of it, "You're gonna smoke that here?"

"Social butterfly?" I asked, not responding to his question verbally as I took puffs of the cigarette.

"The first thing that came to mind," he shrugged, leaning his back against the brick wall behind him.

"Don't you have a class to get to, Captain?" I asked, sarcasm in my tone as he smirked at me. I made sure to blow the smoke away from his face as I spoke since I knew how much it pissed most people off.

"Don't you?" he retorted and I rolled my eyes, looking out at the rain-filled car park in front of me, "Where you going?"

"Don't know," I shrugged, not looking over at him as I spoke, "Can't stand being here but I can't be fucked walking home and back."

"Why don't you wanna be here?" he asked, his question sounding genuinely curious rather than prying.

"Because people can't shut their fucking mouths about me," I answered more harshly than intended before I looked to my right at him, noticing he was looking at the cigarette in my hand, "You want one?"

"Oh no. I don't- I've never..." he trailed off, shaking his head making me snicker to myself.

"Of course not," I mumbled, taking another hit before I let my right-hand drop to my side again, flicking the ash on the floor. Suddenly, the cigarette had been taken from my hand and Matt held it between his lips, taking a long drag.

He exhaled the smoke before he started coughing, holding his chest in the process making me chuckle at him. I took the cigarette from his hand, his cold rings brushing my fingers as I did so.

"You good?" I asked, amusement written on my face and he nodded, coughing lightly, "Went a bit hard for your first time there, pretty boy."

He had a pained look on his face as he looked over at me while I took another drag, looking out at the rain that didn't seem to stop, "How do you do that? It's not even enjoyable."

With a shrug, I said, "Just habitual at this point."

A silence fell between us for a few moments before Matt asked, "You hungry?"

"What?" I asked, pure confusion on my face as I looked at him and he pushed away from the wall.

"I wanna go to McDonald's. You might as well come with," he answered before swinging the door open to the school and walking inside. I stayed in my position, debating whether or not it's a good idea to go with him.

I didn't have any money on me but I also didn't want to stand here for the next few hours doing nothing so by the time he returned, backpack on his shoulder, I dropped the last of the cigarette on the ground. I squished it with my feet before turning to him.

"I don't have any money for food," I told him honestly and he waved me off as he grabbed his keys from his backpack.

"My treat," he answered quickly before he walked into the rain towards his car. I watched as his pace quickened and I bit my lip out of nervous habit. I shortly followed after him, jogging towards the car before I jumped in the passenger seat and swung the door closed behind me.

"I can pay you back tomorrow," I said as he started the car and he gave me a strange look as if he didn't know why I said that.

"It's just McDonald's. My bank account will live," he replied with a smirk and I shook my head.

"I'm fine to pay you back, I just don't have any money on me right now," I pushed further, never liking the idea of people buying things for me.

"Layla, I promise you it's fine. I asked if you were hungry, not if you had money to pay for your own food," he stated matter-of-factly and I pursed my lips before I slumped back into my seat. A brief pause was placed in the car before he said, "Seatbelt."

"Oh shit. Right," I clicked myself in quickly before he repeated the process of placing his right hand on my headrest, turning around and spinning the wheel with his left hand as he reversed.

"You can be on aux if you want," he said as he put the car in drive and we rolled out of the car park.

"I doubt you will like my music," I mumbled in response and he smirked, glancing at me quickly before looking back at the road.

"Try me," he answered and I raised my eyebrows, grabbing my phone from my pocket and plugging it into the aux cable. I clicked on my most recent playlist, the first song being Message in a Bottle by the Police. I looked over at Matt to study his reaction to the music, his hand tapping against the wheel lightly along to the beat.

I hummed along to the song, looking out of the window at the rain pattering along the road. As we pulled into the cark park of McDonald's, the next song began playing which was Paper Machete by Queens of the Stone Age.

"What do you want?" Matt asked as we joined the back of the small queue of cars in the drive-thru, leaning his elbow on the window as he placed his head on his hand.

"Uh..." I trailed off, trying to think of what to get since I hadn't ordered fast food in a while, "Just a large fries is fine."

"You don't want anything else? Cheeseburger or nuggets or something?" he asked and I shrugged, "You like nuggets?"

"I don't mind them," I answered truthfully and he nodded.

"You want a drink?" he asked as we rolled up slowly, only one car in front of us before we had to order.

"Just a medium sweat tea is fine," I replied and he nodded before we rolled up to order.

Matt ordered what he wanted first before ordering my fries and sweat tea but I turned my head when he said, "Oh and can I get a 20-piece nuggets as well. Thanks."

With that, he rolled up to the next window and used his phone to pay for the food before we waited.

"Do you really need 20 nuggets?" I asked and he smirked at me, leaning against his hand again.

"No that's why you're gonna have some," he answered like it was obvious and I frowned. We pulled up to the last window, grabbing our food and Matt handed me the drinks to put in the cupholder before he gave them a quick thank you. He pulled into a car park and slid his seatbelt off.

"Give me the receipt," I held my hand in the middle of the car, sliding the seatbelt off my body and he held the bag in his lap.

"Why?" he asked with a squint of his eyes and I did small grabby-hands with my hand that was reached out.

"I wanna know how much it all was," I answered honestly and he shook his head.

"You don't need to. You're not paying me back," he said with a smile as he handed me one of the large fries from the bag and placed the nuggets on the console in between us.

"Matthew. Give me the receipt," I deadpanned and he grabbed the receipt out of the bag. I was waiting for him to hand it to me but instead, he started ripping it into pieces making me groan, "You're an asshole."

"I'm an asshole because I'm paying for your food?" he asked, a smile still on his lips as I frowned at him while he began eating his food.

"You're an asshole for not letting me pay you back," I mumbled in response as I started picking at my fries.

"Have a nugget and you'll forget all about it," he shrugged, sliding the nuggets towards me slightly and I rolled my eyes, reluctantly grabbing one from the box, "When do you wanna go back?"

"Never," I instinctually answered and he just looked at me, waiting for a real response, "I don't know. I need to go back for my last two periods."

"We can go back at lunch?" he asked and I nodded in response before I turned up the volume on the radio that was still playing music from my phone. The song that was now playing was Hypnotize by Biggie and I lip-synced silently to the words as I slowly ate my food, "So you do listen to rap."

"I listen to everything," I shrugged and he hummed suspiciously making me look at him with a squint, "What?"

"Nothin'," he shrugged, an amused look on his face, "Just hear people say that a lot and they listen to the same three genres."

"Give me a genre and I'll name at least three artists I listen to," I challenged and he chuckled before turning to face me more.

"Pop," he looked at me intently.

"Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Beyonce," I answered easily and he nodded.

"Metal?"

"What kind of metal?" I asked, knowing he just group all heavier music together, "Nu metal would be Slipknot, Korn and Limp Bizkit. Death metal would be Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Blood Bath. Metal core would be Bring Me the Horizon, Parkway Drive and Trivium. Or heavy metal would be Black Sabbath, Pantera and Van Halen. Shall I go on?"

"Alright I got it," he chuckled before taking a sip of his drink as he thought again, "What about rap?"

"Tyler the Creator, Biggie and Trippie Red," I answered confidently and he nodded again.

"Jazz?" he asked and I snickered as he was struggling to think of more genres.

"Billie Holiday, Miles Davis and Nat King Cole," I had a cocky look on my face and he raised his eyebrows.

"Country," he stated, now looking as if he was trying to challenge me more.

"Kasey Musgraves, Zach Bryan and Shania Twain,"

"Grunge,"

"Soundgarden, Nirvana and Alice in Chains,"

"Reggae,"

"Bob Marley, Peter Tosh and Jimmy Cliff,"

"Rock,"

"Foo Fighters, that's a big one, Lenny Kravitz and Fleetwood Mac,"

"Okay, I got no more. You win," he held his hand up in surrender with an amused look on his face.

"I mean I could keep going but I'll let you think about it for a while," I answered, a small smile on my lips triumphantly. He just stared at me for a moment, unmoving as he studied my face, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

I wiped my hands around my mouth and he shook his head with a smile, "No. I've just never seen you smile before."

"Oh," I let my smile drop, feeling slightly insecure as he stared at me.

"You should do it more," he shrugged as he threw his trash in the empty bag, "You have a pretty smile."

"Alright, stop gassing me up. I just proved you wrong on so many levels," I answered, brushing off his compliment as I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Yeah, you're right. Don't wanna make your ego too big, rockstar," He answered with a chuckle and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Rockstar?" I questioned, finishing the rest of my fries before throwing the trash in the bag he had now placed in the back seat.

With a shrug, he replied, "You like music a lot. Just seems fitting."

"You come up with the weirdest names," I stated and he smirked at me cockily.

"Don't think I didn't notice what you called me earlier," he said making me frown further in confusion, "When I was coughing my fucking lungs up. You called me pretty boy."

"At least the names I call you make sense," I rolled my eyes, trying to brush over the fact I called him that.

"So you think I'm pretty?" he asked, the mischievous look written across his face.

"Now whose ego is big," I raised my eyebrows, a small smile falling onto my lips.

"You're the one who said it!" he threw his hands out in front of him dramatically making me chuckle.

"It's fitting because you're conventionally attractive and that's why so many people love you," I shrugged, a smile still on my lips, "And plus you're captain of the hockey team. That always gets you far in popularity."

"You don't seem to care about popularity though," he stated, a questioning tone behind his words and I nodded.

"Why do you think I never talk to anyone?" I asked rhetorically before I looked out the window, "Yet people still love to talk about me."

"I mean..." Matt trailed off making me look back at him to see he was still looking at me, "I never really intended to be popular. I kinda hate it honestly."

"What's there to hate about being the most loved person in the school?" I asked with a distasteful chuckle.

"I only talk to my friends but everyone still loves to talk about me," he echoed my statement from earlier and I bit my bottom lip while nodding, "It's not all bad. Just gets annoying sometimes."

"At least people say nice things about you," I mumbled making his eyebrows furrow as he looked at me, adjusting his hair in his hat.

"Not always," he retorted making me look at him as I took a sip of my drink, "Especially with Chris being my brother and the fucking idiot he can be. Just because he's with a new girl every week, doesn't mean I am."

"Not as bad as people saying I killed my neighbour's cat," I raised my eyebrows and he pursed his lips, nodding in agreement.

"I can't argue with that one," he smiled a little bit as I bit my lip again, "How many piercings do you have?"

His sudden question threw me off but I answered regardless, "Nine."

"Wow," he seemed surprised and I now noticed the fact he had his ears pierced, the shiny silver earrings dangling from his ears.

"I have my septum, eyebrow, 3 in each ear and then my tongue," I stuck my tongue out to show him the silver bar that was through my tongue and he once again raised his eyebrows.

"Do you have any tattoos?" he asked and I nodded. Instead of explaining, I slid my leather jacket off and my black hoodie. I showed him the black and white tattoos that scattered across my arms, all for various different meanings.

"I also have a couple on my legs but kinda hard to show you those right now," I shrugged and he grabbed my wrist, pulling my left arm towards him gently as he looked at the permanent art on my skin.

"What's this one?" he asked, pointing to one of the bigger tattoos I had on my tricep.

"It's the welcome home cake from Coraline," I explained as his fingertips dragged over the tattoo raising goosebumps on my skin, studying it like he was genuinely intrigued, "My mum and I used to watch it a lot when I was little. It's always been my favourite movie."

"That's cool," he smiled at me, letting go of my wrist and I slid my hoodie back on, the cold air nipping at my skin, "I wanna get more tattoos. Where do you get yours?"

"Uh, one of my dad's friends did them. He's not licensed though so I'd recommend going somewhere that's professional," I smiled tightly before I realised I'd never noticed his tattoos, "I didn't know you had any tattoos."

"My parents said I have to wait till I graduate to get ones that are visible like on my arms and legs and stuff. But I have these on my hips," he lifted up the hem of his hoodie, sliding the waistband of his jeans down slightly to reveal two lightning bolts on either side of his waist travelling along his v-line.

"Oh wow," I took in a breath, feeling my face heat up as he slid the waistband back up and fixed the hem of his hoodie.

"I also have these on my collarbones," he announced as he pulled down the neckline of the hoodie to reveal a trail of leaves on either side of his collarbones.

I smirked as I looked at them before looking up at his face, "Big on the symmetry I see."

He shrugged in response before grabbing his drink and finishing the last of it, "I don't know what to get next."

"You gonna get any more piercings?" I asked, genuine curiosity in my words and he shrugged, "You should get a lip piercing."

"I'd have to wait till the seasons over if I get any piercings because I'd have to take it out before I play," he explained and I shrugged in response.

"It's only another month right?" I asked and he nodded in response, "Come with me when I get my lip pierced when the season is over then."

"You think a lip piercing would look good on me?" he asked, pulling his visor down to look at himself in the mirror.

"Mhm," I hummed in response as I looked at him inspecting his own face in the mirror, "Wait. I have an idea."

I unclipped one of my tiny hoop earrings from my ear, making sure to clean it a bit with the sleeve of my hoodie, "Look at me."

He turned to face me and I grabbed his chin to turn his head to the right further. I grabbed the small ring in between my fingers as he just stared at me before I mumbled, "I can't put it on if you have your mouth closed."

He let his jaw open, leaving his mouth ajar as I slid the ring over his lip. I moved it around, realising it didn't sit properly since it wasn't positioned on the inside of his lip correctly. I used my left thumb to pull his bottom lip down slightly and he looked at me intently while I slid the ring further down his lip till it looked satisfactory.

"There!" I nodded and he looked back to the mirror, tilting his head side to side to see if he liked it, "Perfect."

"Why get a piercing when I can just put on a fake one?" he asked with a smirk and I noticed the ring flash in the light as he turned to face me.

"Because fake piercings are corny," I deadpanned and he ran his tongue over the ring.

"It feels weird," he said before looking back at himself in the mirror, "But it does look good."

"Told you," I smiled at him and he shook his head with a smile on his lips.

"Should I leave it on when we go back to school and freak everyone out?" he asked, a mischievous look on his face as I pursed my lips with a nod, thinking of the shock on people's faces when the Matthew Sturniolo would walk into school with a lip piercing, or at least a fake one.

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo

[jessource]

1989 (VAULT TRACK) SENTENCE STARTERS.

Slut!

flamingo pink.

sunrise boulevard.

clink, clink.

being this young is art.

moonlit swimming pool.

what if all i need is you?

got lovestruck, went straight to my head.

got lovesick all over my bed.

love to think you'll never forget handprints in wet cement.

lovelorn and nobody knows.

love thorns all over this rose.

i'll pay the price, you won't.

if i'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us.

and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once.

if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love.

send the code.

he's waiting there.

the sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air.

everyone wants him, that was my crime.

the wrong place at the right time.

i break down, then he's pulling me in.

in a world of boys, he's a gentleman.

love to think you'll never forget.

we'll pay the price, i guess.

they might as well be looking at us.

half asleep.

taking your time.

in the tangerine, neon light, this is luxury.

you're not saying you're not in love with me.

but you're going to.

taking your chances.

it's a big mistake.

it might blow up in your pretty face.

do it anyway.

Say Don't Go.

i've known it from the very start.

we're a shot in the darkest dark.

oh no, oh no.

i'm unarmed.

the waiting is a sadness.

fading into madness.

it won't stop.

i'm standing on a tightrope, alone.

i hold my breath a little bit longer.

halfway out the door, but it won't close.

i'm holding out hope for you to say, 'don't go'.

i would stay forever if you say, 'don't go'.

why'd you have to lead me on?

why'd you have to twist the knife?

walk away and leave me bleeding.

why'd you whisper in the dark, just to leave me in the night?

now your silence has me screaming.

don't go.

now i'm pacing on shaky ground.

strike a match.

it's not fair.

you kiss me and it stops time.

i'm yours, but you're not mine.

you're not there.

i'm standing on the sidewalk, alone.

i wait for you to drive by.

i was trying to see the cards that you won't show.

i'm about to fold unless you say, 'don't go'.

why'd you have to make me want you?

why'd you have to give me nothing back?

i said, 'i love you', you say nothing back.

i want you more.

i would stay forever if you say, 'don't go', but you won't.

Now That We Don't Talk.

you went to a party, i heard from everybody.

don't even get me started.

did you get anxious though, on the way home?

i guess i'll never, ever know now that we don't talk.

you grew your hair long.

you get new icons.

and from the outside it looks like you're trying lives on.

i miss the old ways.

you didn't have to change.

i guess i don't have a say.

i called my mom, she said that it was for the best.

the more i gave, you'd want me less.

i cannot be your friend.

i pay the price of what i lost, and what it cost.

what do you tell your friends?

we shared dinners, long weekends.

truth is, i can't pretend it's platonic.

it's just ended.

i called my mom, she said to get it off my chest.

remind myself the way you faded till i left.

i cannot be your friend, so i pay the price of what i lost.

i don't have to pretend i like acid rock.

i'd like to be on a mega yacht.

important men who think important thoughts.

guess maybe i am better of now that we don't talk.

the only way back to my dignity was to turn into a shrouded mystery.

just like i had been when you were chasing me.

guess this is how it has to be.

Suburban Legends.

you had people who called you on unmarked numbers.

i let it slide.

all was quickly forgiven.

you were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious.

i was always turning out my empty pockets.

i didn't come here to make friends.

we were born to be suburban legends.

when you hold me, it holds me together.

you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever.

i had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school.

i ended up back at our class reunion.

you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries.

i am standing in a 1950s gymnasium.

i can still see you now.

i know that you still remember.

we were born to be national treasures.

you told me we'd get back together.

tick-tock on the clock.

i pace down your block.

i broke my own heart, 'cause you were too polite to do it.

waves crash on the shore.

you don't knock anymore.

my whole life's ruined.

i always knew it.

my life had been ruined.

Is It Over Now?

i slept all alone.

you still wouldn't go.

let's fast forward to 300 takeout coffees later.

i see your profile and your smile.

you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor.

you search in every maiden's bed for something else.

baby, was it over when she laid down on your couch?

was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

come here.

baby, was it over then?

and is it over now?

when you lost control.

red blood, white snow.

blue dress on a boat.

your new girl is my clone.

did you think i didn't see you?

there were flashing lights.

at least i had the decency to keep my nights out of sight.

only rumors about my hips and thighs.

oh lord.

i think about jumping off of very tall somethings.

but no!

let's fast forward to 300 awkward blind dates later.

if she's got blue eyes, i will surmise that you'll probably date her.

you search in every model's bed for something greater.

was it over then? and is it over now?

i think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing i've been wanting.

i was hoping you'd be there.

#rp lyrics #rp memes #rp prompts #song prompt #rp meme #rp sentences #rp sentence starter #inbox memes #rp starters #memes #prompts #mymemes. #*

[holly-fixation]

Three... Guards? Ch11

Summary: Tifa finds Cloud at the train station in Sector Seven. It’s the first time she’s seen him in seven years. But he’s not alone. Three silver haired boys protected him. Three silver haired boys that triggered memories of her hometown. Of steel through her chest. Of SOLDIER First Class. Of Him.

The truth cannot be denied any longer

Please Enjoy!

Inspired by the prompt by @im-totally-not-an-alien

Chapter 11: Atonement and Malice

“Wings of light and dark spread afar

She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.”

Strife sighed lowly. Why was someone quoting poetry down here? He doubted any Shinra executive would allow their prisoners the privilege of reading material. 

“Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess

We seek it thus, and take to the sky.”

He needed to focus. If the Remnants got their hands on Jenova's corpse, it was over, everything was over if he stayed trapped down here, unable to fight. 

“Ripples form on the water's surface

The wandering soul knows no rest.”

If the Remnants were still with his team, then he needed to prevent them from reaching the Calamity with everything he had. 

“Three friends go into battle.

One is captured

One flies away

The one that is left becomes a hero.”

Strife searched the cell for any weakness in the glass or the joints to exploit. Any thinner glass or bending metal. He scanned every corner, trying to decide the easiest connection to break. 

“Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul

Pride is lost

Wings stripped away, the end is nigh.

There is no hate, only joy

For you are beloved by the goddess

Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds.”

It would be a lot easier to focus if-

“My friend, do you fly away now?

To a world that abhors you and I?

All that awaits you is a somber morrow”

“I'll show you a somber morrow if you don't shut the hell up,” Strife muttered to himself as he kneeled closer to his potential target. He heard a soft sigh. 

“Not one for the arts, are you?” The man sounded almost wistful. “What a shame. I figured I’d take the chance. You’re fresh fish, and no one currently here appreciates my craft.”

Strife stopped his search in small frustration. “Probably because shoving it down someone's throat is not a great way to introduce yourself.”

“I suppose that’s fair. But here we are conversing and you haven’t introduced yourself either.”

He ran a hand across the glass, feeling delicately for any changes in shape. “Won’t do you much good. I’m not staying here long.”

“Ah. A confident one I see?” The voice seemed vaguely amused. “I wish you luck. I have little desire to escape just yet.”

“I have to get out of here.”

“So you wish to escape for someone else or are you just selfish? Oh, or is it far more than one?”

Strife almost growled. 

There was a pause. “Do you care to elaborate?” Not a hint of mockery or amusement remained. 

“Not interested.”

“Come now, what else are we doing?”

“Not continuing this conversation I hope.”

“Hmph,” the other man contemplated. “You’re in real trouble then, aren’t you? Here I am trying to be neighborly and you keep shooting me down like a pest. I’ll proudly tell you I do not stay down for long.”

“If this doesn’t work, a lot of people are going to die.”

“How many?” 

Strife chose not to answer. Clearly this conversation was going nowhere. 

“Do you have an estimate?”

Strife didn’t respond. 

“Very well then, I'll take a guess. Is it just a lot of people? Or The Planet?”

The blond halted. He stood, turning to the cell with the red blur. “What’s it to you?”

“It’s merely a shot in the dark. Those ecoterrorists have caused quite a stir among Shinra's staff.” The man just did not stop talking. “Bombing reactors. In all honesty, it’s not the worst plan if they had more help, but it won’t do nearly enough to save The Planet.”

“So you’re an ecoterrorist?”

The stranger released a melodious laugh. “Goddess, no. But Shinra is far from a friend of mine. Oh the tales I could weave… Experimentation, degradation, the destruction of my home town-”

“Where?” Strife couldn’t help but ask. 

“Banora. You probably haven't heard of it. Our greatest export was apples and we didn't leave much of an impact on the world in the long run. A shame, really. Shinra enjoys setting their mistakes on fire instead of letting the public decide right and wrong.”

The blond exhaled darkly at his own realization. “Nibelheim… Corel... Banora isn't special. Damn…”

“...I truly apologize for my actions…” His words came deep and true, far too much emotion to be an outside observer. There was a long pause before he spoke again. “Nibelheim is my greatest regret…”

Strife froze. “What are you talking about?”

“I pushed Sephiroth into that library. I thought he would join me after learning the truth. I could not possibly have been more wrong.”

Rage filled his heart. “Who are you and what the hell are you talking about?”

“Former First Class SOLDIER: Genesis Rhapsodos.”

That name rang a bell. “The Red Mage of Shinra?”

“Long ago, yes. I fought alongside Sephiroth for many years. I was always jealous, and to shorten the tale of my woes, I wanted him to hurt as much as I wanted to make him an ally. I realize now how foolish that was. There are no dreams. No honor remains. The arrow has left the bow of the goddess.”

Strife slammed his fist against the glass, and to his surprise, it cracked. 

“I’ll never forgive myself for all I’ve done, but the goddess gave me a second chance. Even if the morrow is barren of promises, Nothing shall forestall my return. To become the dew that quenches the land. To spare the sands, the seas, the skies. I offer thee this silent sacrifice.”

“You are anything but silent.”

Genesis smirked. “Well, you’re right about that. But you now know my story. Would you share yours?”

Strife stilled for a moment. “I'm from Nibelheim. And I was there the day Sephiroth burned my home to the ground.”

“I truly apologize…”

“And he’s still here.”

The red headed soldier stood, disbelief in his voice. “He died in Nibelheim.”

“He refuses to stay dead.”

“He lost his mind. The Goddess would not grant him a second chance.”

“I don't have time to explain this to you.”

“If I aid your escape, will you fill me in?”

“Not interested.” 

The man in the red coat gave a soft glance to the other. “If that glass shatters, you'll be surrounded in ten seconds, and the exit will close. We’re fairly deep and if that elevator cannot move, no one is getting out of here quickly. There are sensors to the left of the door. Leave them be and the silent alarm won’t sound.”

Strife glanced to confirm the advice. Sure enough, two whisker sensors rested at the top and bottom of the cell's outer ring. If either were touched, they would activate. Left alone, they only stood at the ready. 

Genesis, for once, said nothing as he struck the glass multiple times and pierced through his own glass cage, each sensor completely untouched by fallen shards. The former soldier stepped through the remains and stood directly in front of Strife’s cell. 

The blond glared hard but understood the silent request. “You won't believe my story.”

“You’d be surprised what I’ve put my faith in before.”

Strife sighed but figured no harm would come from his explanation: his past that would become their future if he was not thrown back in time with the Remnants of Sephiroth. They weaved through the hallways easily as if they traveled the path a hundred times. Each of the former SOLDIER's movements were like water, and rarely did he ever turn back and hold a finger to his lips in a gesture to silence.

Genesis genuinely could not prevent his thought from escaping his lips at the end of Strife’s tale, guilt bleeding from each syllable, “My friend, what did I do to you…?” He shook his head of red hair and returned a simple fact as they entered the elevator, “I’m going with you.”

“At this point, the more the merrier. Just stay out of my way.”

Thus the two rode the elevator to the highest floor available, no alarms or security approaching or stopping the ride. They rode this separate, inner elevator through nearly all of Shinra Tower, restricted only by their lack of key cards. Strife and Genesis silenced as they focused on finding any route into the labs undetected. 

* * *

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Can you walk?”

“Do you need us to carry you?”

“What else can we do?”

“Is anything helping?”

“Will you stab us in the back?”

“Should I try healing with a different spell?”

Kadaj nearly groaned at the multitude of questions thrown his way. He was so unbelievably tired, but even without Hojo's direct intervention, this lab only made him feel worse. Mentally at least. He could walk now, not as fast as he wanted but enough to keep up. 

Big Brother- well technically not Big Brother- demanded the children protect Kadaj instead of himself. The two kittens reluctantly followed the order, staying behind their youngest sibling as the group stood ahead, the smallest forcing his eyes ahead as Cloud took the lead. Their party stalked slowly through the examination hallways, spotting terrifying medical machines designed for gods know what through observation glass. 

Loz could not help the defensive fear from plastering itself onto his face and into his heart as he stared into the rooms. Kadaj limped ahead, arms crossed in an X across his chest, one hand hooked with materia and one firmly planted on his neck, so only Yazoo saw and provided the slightest comfort to the eldest silver boy. 

Barret and Red XIII guarded everyone’s back while keeping eyes on the remnants, checking for signs of escape or betrayal, yet none of the boys changed course in any way, following slowly and deliberately. Besides Kadaj were Aerith and Tifa, mostly Aerith offering encouragement as they moved forward. At the head of the pack stood Cloud, ready to defend them all with his life.

Why was Big Brother so emotional here? Whatever the reason, his emotion was likely the only reason Kadaj and his brothers were still breathing. 

Through the dimly lit hallways and the chamber containing the youngest’s cell, the orange furred beast informed them of Hojo’s coming game, that the only reason they were allowed such freedom was for further experimentation. Cloud swore he’d play along until he had the chance to slice the scientist’s throat. No one argued with his sentiment. 

Surprisingly they all fit in the elevator where both Kadaj and Big Brother passed out. Cloud and the triplets inhaled at the sight of a single black feather floating to the ground as the door closed and the platform rose. None of them spoke a word.

Who keeps a lab this dark?

The pack stepped onto a catwalk in the massive, multiple level atrium. Large tubes connected each segregated corridor to the central terminal, and mako pods lined the lowest floor. Their current path lined the circular wall, eventually leading them on a bridge to what could only be the crown jewel of Shinra's science department on display in a pristine glass tank. 

“What the hell is that…?” Barret questioned.

“MOTHER!” Loz and Yazoo shouted at once, elation overwhelming in their young voices. Everyone else in their group saw a monster pretending to be human. They saw the perfect form of the Mother they never knew. 

But Kadaj stepped away from the body of the woman while his brothers tried to run closer. 

“Boys, wait!” Aerith and Tifa held the two elder remnants back. 

“But it’s Mother!” Loz yelled desperately, unable to even think of harming Tifa to free himself. “She’s here! She’s really here!”

“Please let us see her…!” Yazoo pleaded, wriggling in Aerith’s grasp like a fish out of water. “Just once…!”

Kadaj craved their absolute happiness but found himself terrified, his chest tightening as his need to flee increased dramatically. Why was he feeling like this? What happened? What happened?! Why isn’t he happy?! This isn’t right!

Cloud looked back, his mouth open to give a warning but a shout erupting before he could speak. He clasped his blond locks and struggled to stand at the sudden agony shooting through his body, and Kadaj did the same. 

“Cloud…?” Tifa wanted to be by her friend’s side, to pull him back to reality, but she froze at the sight before them, the silver haired boys in their arms suddenly attempting to draw weapons instead of escape. 

Between their party and the body the children struggled to reach stood the Silver Soldier of their nightmares, long hair cascading down to the black leather coat and boots. 

The shock forced most of their party back, but between Cloud's suffering and Kadaj's combined confusion, they stayed ahead.

Kadaj couldn't stop staring at the cage blocking Mother's face despite the cleaving agony in his mind, couldn't prevent the need to be close but the conflict in his body, his instincts screeching in dissonance to all he ever knew. 

Escape over embrace. 

Horror over happiness.

Terror over tranquility. 

Despair over delight.

Rejection over Reunion. 

“Tell me…” Cloud stubbled forward, weakened by his own mind, “Is it really you…?” 

Rejection over Reunion. 

The madman turned to them with a grin. Cloud gripped his arm as he keeled, trying to in any way lessen the phantom pain.

Rejection over Reunion. 

Kadaj couldn't deny it any longer. He couldn't ignore the threats from him. He couldn't turn away from the injection that ejected his body and fused right before his eyes. 

Mother rejected them here. After all they had done to finally reach her, to fix their mistake despite their lack of age and strength, to follow the only person on the planet that always found his way to Her, it didn’t matter. They lost Her when they fell in the mako reactor in their time, and now only this Sephiroth was given Her gift and Her love.

And he hated it. 

They couldn't have Mother. She didn't want them here. Nothing they did would ever change that, no matter how much he wished it wasn't true. Sephiroth always found a way to get everything he wanted, even denying them this new chance in this new world.

A good son would have known. 

Everything was over.

Go. Back. 

But if he and his brothers couldn't have Mother, then no one will. 

The materia in his hand blazed emerald as flames engulfed his left arm. The boy roared in rage as he fired, each projectile arching far beyond His reach. Mother's glass chamber shattered with chained explosions until Her body within seemed to shriek in the boiling and crackling hellfire of fury and betrayal, all caused by the remnant malice of Her true son from a different time.

.

.

.

.

To be continued...?

Thanks for reading!

Author's Note: Did you see it coming?

#ffvii #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #ff7 #final fantasy 7 #jenova #cloud strife #barret wallace #tifa lockhart #aerith gainsborough #red xiii #kadaj ff7 #loz ff7 #yazoo ff7 #genesis rhapsodos #ff7 remake #ff7r

[the-acid-pear]

Dreams tonite were actually remembered let me write down what I gathered

Earliest I can remember is a scene from what was Up 2. I didn't know it was Up 2 for a bit bc i was watching the movie in chunks (unsure if on or off camera). The protagonist was a woman this time, maybe Ellie, and she didn't look that old but she was dressed like a grandma with a cloth over her shoulders hunched back and w a cane.

When she tried to go up the stairs to her house (she was in a hurry) they broke and like monster house it was like they were trying to eat her. She was w a boy, anywhere from teen to young adult, who was holding her trying to pull her out. She even was completely submerged at one point.

She did make it inside the house tho and there were like 15 minutes left but I just didn't feel like finishing it despite finding it very enjoyable.

I think I was off at school now. We were gonna get a special class but I was sent off elsewhere. So now I was sitting on the side to a therapist's office. Middle top there was a desk with the professional and two chairs in front and to the side past the door there was I laying in the therapist couch™ just chilling with my phone as these people came and went. At least 2 did before Tim Burton showed up. His name sounded way longer tho so maybe they called him Timothy Burton or something.

Dude looked a bit more pale and disheveled but he had the black curly hair and beard. He was also pretty tall. And also very fucking awkward about the fact some guy he didn't know was in the room as he went to therapy (he was with someone else too I think he was being dragged here). He did say hi to me shyly waving a hand and I said hi twice bc I'm awkward like that. I thought of asking him for an autograph not bc i gave a fuck about the guy but bc i mean might as well you know? But then I didn't and was allowed to leave.

Outside I met with a shit ton of old faces. For starters there was my first BF from primary school who was having a meltdown because they tried to teach him about sexualities, but there was also the Bully™ also from primary school (he stuck longer than the first guy) who was just puking red, idk if it was blood but bro was going thru it. But I also looked my former bestie in the eye and spoke to her and she told me in the room another bestie of mine one with whom I didn't have a bad falling out had been in the class and I got really sad bc i loved that girl and I wanted to see her.

We then got lead to a big field. Reality and fiction mixed idk if I was back in the movie or not. I don't remember this as clearly. I complaint about the surroundings coloration. I met with two men outside. I stole two different pairs of sunglasses, second from a bat man (like the rusty lake guy, he was asleep).

Then I was with my class. And we were tasked to remake some... Buildings we'd written about before.

They made us run towards a wall full of boxes with clothes where we'd pick whatever we needed most, except as I looked around them not finding anything I needed (I wanted something masculine) I realized these were all clothes from my grandma. Complaint to myself about my dad not telling me where they were before.

I went inside of a warehouse. I was looking for art supplies. Many people were working on wood. There were half finished chairs on a table. I didn't know what I wanted

With another guy we found in a shelf pens inside a pencil case, and for some reason he was removing them one by one. Bro spilled some liquid paper (LICUI PAIPER) on my black puffy jacket. I was upset

I walked past a now SECONDARY school classmate. Not a friend, but the third wheel of the big brain sisters. She was killing it with her design.

Then a primary school guy again, a good friend. Good aside from us being extremely toxic that is. We made each other worse. Anyway his thing was flat and ugly it was just a sea with a little island and and even littler palm tree or perhaps human. I laughed really hard because I remembered this was what he had originally written in an act of laziness, and I loved it. He was actually touched by the fact I remembered such a thing and thanked me.

I went outside. Outside they didn't let me touch my notes, in fact, they took them away. The 2 men were now 2 teachers, I'm sure women. I was frustrated. I kept thinking of other things I'd do and after failing really hard to draw an arm I decided actually I'm not going to fucking do this.

And then I woke up

#luly talks #my dreams

[ritual-misery]

18-10-2023 🎧

yesterday was very up and down 💀 and i knew it was gonna a mess the second i forgot my earphones at home. those shits r my lifeline. riding the bus in silence was torturous

anyways. yesterday something happened that hasn't happened in a while... i got gendered as female. usually, where i am now in my transition, i'd say i get gendered as male 99% of the time. ages vary; usually people think i'm some 13 year old LMFAO but chemically i am 13 so i mean... there u go. but nonetheless they read me as a guy

but yesterday was different. it was after my last class of the day and these girls started talking to me about the material and whatnot. then we went to some public event thing happening outside and as we're sitting there i get called "she" when one of the girls says something abt me to the other one. i thought, maybe i misheard. but then they started talking about the traits they hate in guys... then i was called a baddie... sooooo 😭

honestly i feel nothing about it. maybe a bit awkward cause eventually its gonna come up that im actually a guy. and its gonna be weird. but it kinda made me think. like yeah, i get gendered as male a lot, but honestly im still pretty androgynous. i have no facial hair yet, my face is still kinda round, i wear earrings (non-feminine ones), and i'm short. so someone could easily read me for a girl as much as they read me for a guy. i notice that when i do get misgendered, it's usually by girls. other guys always gender me right. the rare times i'm read as female it's usually by a girl. curious as to why

but nonetheless it happened. and it reminded me that i have a long way to go in my journey. and that i shouldn't get too proud and think that i'm mr. unclockable all of a sudden. i have some time to wait before my face changes dramatically or i grow facial hair (although im trying to get my hands on some minoxidil), but there are more areas where i can masculinize as i wait. like working out and doing different things with my hair. i'm gonna try and style it different because i feel like it makes me look so feminine and it bothers me lmao. it's this overgrown mullet thing, and the process of growing out the sides is making me want to go bald. in my deluded brain i feel that if i finally grow out my hair long it'll actually help me look more male? cause it'll cover my face and make me look a little older (i feel that lots of young boys have short hair while longer hair would indicate maybe an older guy? idk 💀)

it's easy to get discouraged, i think. i found my mind saying, "a cis guy would never have to deal with something like this." but then it occurred to me that i'm not a cis guy. i'm gonna have different experiences in life than one, and i shouldn't use the average cis guy's life as a marker for mine. it'll just leave me unsatisfied and feeling like a failure when i've failed nothing. i gotta focus on myself and what im doing. i'm not cis so my life is not gonna be similar to that of cis people's. and that's not a shitty thing

oh and here's my second problem. i ran out of testosterone. i'm with this specialized doctor right now and he's very hard to reach out too. long story short, the next time i see him is in november... i ran out of T last week. today's my shot day, actually. so i'm concerned. i know that nothing monumental will happen to me over 3 or so weeks, but the only thing i really don't want to happen is my period returning. which it surely will. so now i have to do a final hail mary: at the very beginning of this, i got a prescribed vial that i wasn't able to receive because of a problem with insurance. there's a chance that the vial is still sitting in the pharmacy now. will i probably have to pay? yeah. but i mean.. what choice do i have. i would rather pay and take the T than wait three weeks and have my body go through crazy mood swings and my monthly returning from the shadowy depths. so i'm about to call the pharmacy and see what they say. at least i can try. it's been one year, so the doctor is going to give my prescription to my family doctor to have him deal with it (special doctor only handles patients for one year), but my fam doctor will probably ask me to give it to someone else. so i should start researching some endos in the area

alas. weird life, weird events. today i got no classes and i'm gonna try and get stuff done. there's minimal things i need to do for school, so non-academic tasks are getting prioritized. ESPECIALLY my workout. it's been way too long, and i'm trying to get all buff now so when summer hits i'm chilling. plus it's winter coming soon so what else am i supposed to do lmao. also gonna try and buy some stickers to decorate my laptop today. very whimsical and fun ofc

[liacontilde]

Random dreams without context pt.1

Today's series is a little bit different, since today I'm going to narrate the little information that I have left written about some dreams that I no longer remember. The following dreams are narrated from most recent to oldest:

1. Kidnapped with aespa: I had gone camping with the aespa girls somewhere in the United States, but it felt like a place in the middle of nowhere. The tent we were going to sleep in was very large and modern and everything was going well. However, when we were all inside the tent, we noticed something strange and when trying to get out, we realized that we were on the trailer of a truck. Apparently, it was a kidnapping. I remember that the man stopped the truck and made us all get into the cabin. It was all very strange because he wasn't trying to stop us from calling the police or our relatives. However, I do remember having the opportunity at one point to jump out of the moving truck (it even worked out well, I didn't get hurt), but he stopped the truck and kindly forced me back in.

2. Yeonjun's solo: Yeonjun had released a solo album and one of the songs was a collaboration with Soobin and another idol that I think my mind made up. Of course, they were recording TikTok videos with the choreography in a dance hall when suddenly, a large amount of water starts dripping from the ceiling. I was very scared because I thought a pipe had broken, but no one paid any attention because they needed the "rain effect".

3. Stray Kids' town + plot twist: It was in a very modern neighborhood but with a reputation for problems. I don't know if it was my job, but I spent my days with another boy inside a small booth that belonged to a store watching everything that was happening outside. Actually, I feel like this guy and I were hiding because there was a man outside before doing hair and dressing dolls and for some reason or comment, we had the feeling that one of those dolls was filled with explosives. But well, SKZ used to stop by and apparently I had a strange relationship with I.N, Lee Know, Hyunjin and Felix (yes, all of them). One day, I stayed glued to the glass while they looked at the window waiting for them to see me. At some point, they realize I'm there and they get happy to see me. I leave the cabin and stay with them. But it's all a bit strange because it seemed like I was dating everyone and no one at the same time. I could swear I didn't kiss any of them, but we were hugging and giving each other little bites and playing in a not-so-innocent way all the time. Everything was going very well, until suddenly a very angry Asian man arrives and picks me up from behind as if I were nothing more than a puppet. Very angry, he takes me to my house and leaves me there. To my surprise, I find all of BTS standing there. They were wearing their debut outfits but they didn't feel like themselves at all. It seemed like everyone had had a ton of plastic surgery throughout their lives and what I was seeing was what they were like before. The only ones who apparently were the same were Jungkook and Namjoon, but the rest (especially Jimin and Jin) were terrible. They even all looked like they were over 50 years old. The next plot twist comes when I discover that I live in a huge palace and I'm half royalty. I was lying on an armchair but with class and there were people in front of me showing me many dresses so I could choose one. When I finally choose, they tell me that Rosé had worn that dress in an MV recorded in a palace like mine and in fact that MV was a collaboration between BLACKPINK and aespa. But only Jisoo, Rosé, Jennie, Ningning and Karina. And I stayed there pleased with my choice.

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpopidol #idol #kpopdream #stray kids #aespa #bts #txt #tomorrow x together #skz #fanfic #kpop fanfic #fanfic kpop #dream fanfic #dreamkpop #dream

[sorry-i-spaced]

1975, crybaby, & beaches! :)

I'm answering under the cut just cause this got a little long and I apologize (no I don't)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Can this be memories I think about often? Cause I think about growing up playing in the backyard for hours on end!

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I've dyed my hair ombre, red, blonde highlights, and blue highlights. If I was to dye my hair again I think I would do blue highlights again, idk they were really cool and lasted longer than we thought they would with my dark head of hair.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

R5: I was 13 and in love with Ross Lynch! They actually aren't called R5 anymore, they disbanded and Ross and I think Riker are the only two left in the band and they renamed themselves the Driver Era. When I think about this now, I don't feel so ashamed that this was my first concert anymore! Yes there was a time when I hated admitting it, but I enjoy this little fact of mine now

Fall Out Boy and others for Kris Kringle Jingle a Radio concert: I was turning 16 and wanted nothing more than to see Fall Out Boy in concert! The local radio station was having a concert that year and the headliner was Fall Out Boy! I asked my dad (who was stuck at home recovering from an injury/surgery) if he could try to get tickets and he texted me in the middle of class to say they were sold out. But then surprised me with the tickets when I got home from school! When I think back to this concert it still illicits joy and excitement!

Pink Floyd tribute band (Brit Floyd): I was 20 and my family had just moved and I knew no one. So for Father's day I got my dad and I tickets to go this concert! It was legit a sea of bald/grey haired individuals and then me. But it was such a fun time! I was slowly getting into Pink Floyd and this concert helped me find new songs to enjoy! I still treasure this concert (I'm actually wearing the merch from that concert as I write this)

Riot Fest: I was 23 and this was my first festival ever! I had just moved and decided to go with my brother and his girlfriend! The headliner was My Chemical Romance and to say I was screaming would be an intense understatement! I also saw the Bleachers perform which was pretty cool! Besides that I learned that I'm low-key not a fan of festivals and will probably not go to another one. But despite that fact, I will hold this concert in a special place! My emo heart was screaming and my 16 year old self who ran across the field at a Mission Trip to Detroit the summer of 2016 to scream about a potential MCR reunion (that wasn't actually a reunion but a release of the anniversary of the black parade album) were definitely not prepared to see MCR in concert!

#thanks for the ask #liz says things

[nayaraclara]

Not to be sounds pathetic, tp klo misalny it was never been this hurt, gue merasa cck bgt anjir, kek dri batin aj udh kek adh. Kenapa lu harus udh ad cewe anjir,,, i tried to let go (alay) tp ah anjir what if u never attend that event, and i could do my best till i get to tell u how i feel, what if u never catch up with her again, like i can shoot my shot. I just fall before even trying, its no fair but thats it. Maybe i just desperate to find someone like u that maybe just one in million, smile brighter and silly than everything..... U stand out even in the crowds. No ones can compare u, just the way u talk, i can identify its u. Ure unique just when u try to be urself, smart af, and aaaaa so attractive. Just why i have to let myself down,, why is it have to be when i feel like i have a chance, when i already fallen deep to u, why i can't erase my feelin for u, i've try hard. I tell myself that i can't be like this forever, its unethic. My friends says its okay to just crushing u, but I can't. If i keep this feeling, thats just make me way more want to be with u, thats way too pathetic in my head. Just why it is so hard to do. Just a few days ago, i thought i alr moved on, i moved on, i moved on. But then u struck again, out of nowhere in my minds. I thought, "oh u alr have her, maybe lets call it over for crushing u, but jt just make it worse, the pain are much worse, tears right in my hearts, just realize i just lose, i can't confess it to u, it hurts. It hurts just pretends im okay, im fine, i moved on, pretends that i still adores u, admires u, fall for u, even u don't know it, like.. i just fall i was enchanted, but can't do anything. Just now, this evening theres hole in my mind, i tell my friend i just pathetic for waiting his stories somehow, and he just posted something,,, what if mines work? What if,,, just what if u don't have her,, what if we can be together,,, this just looks like i envy her, why she have to come when i was high of him,, yea she's pretty, talented, just hearing him talking abt her makes me want to date her too. But why him, all of boys,, the one a adores alot

Now i feel sad

I liked a boy, he's mesmerizing, active, smart, he tells about his past he would top the class, and i know he smar af rn. He's just looks like a nerds, and thats cute. He's kind, just talking to him makes my hearts throbs faster. He's cute, whatever he do, its makes me interested. He's talkative, he likes to talks, and i like to hears him, his voice just feels nice in my ears, i can hear him talk for hours. He's talented, yeah, he can do anything, thats awsome. The way he talks to me, its sooo cute, like i want talk to u longer pls, i just can't help myself when we talked. Oh, the way u do some gestures, tje way u askme to do some handshake or whatever it calls, jabs? Idk, u do plenty of that, cheers, i liked it. The way u always make a peace sign when sayin goodbye to me, that one at the parking lot, its soooo cuteeeee, u event don't feel ashamed do it in front of my friend and yours, its way to cute. It even carved in my memories, speaking of memories, i still remember that moments, u sat on a table, u resting on a wall, with windows behind ur back, the light come from ur behind, the rays, u look so eyesblinding, i want to draw that somedays, i still remember the details that day. Also, i liked rain, cause that rainy day, when i just feel like i interested on u, u came, yeah i still remembered that. Hmm... U smart, attractive, and make me feels giddy. With that long legs of yours, your lean limbs, nice hands, and cute af face... Ure so cute, i just can't describe it, the hairs of yours looks a little bit short but they still looks so tempting, i liked to pat and plays with my bros hair, i wonder how yours feels. Although sometimes i make fun of ur posture, its a bit down, but thats what makes u, u (sebenerny mau negor lu tuh nunduk bgt) but u still looks good. Ur voice, i really likes it.. overall,,, hehe

Just thinking that i liked him, i cried.

I like u

Why i have to crushin u

Yeah i can't help that

I can't help that i fall

I just liked u

And it hurts

[aenthroppe]

Why the fuck do I gotta confine to stupid gender roles to get the minimal respect of being called by my preferred name and pronouns

#it's not like a haircut will automatically make everyone on the street assume I'm male #god i hate this #there's boys going in my class with hair longer than mine and they don't get pestered to cut it #it's just #i am expected to show /understanding/ that it is /difficult/ #why is it suddenly not expected of them anymore to have basic manners and/or think two seconds about what they're going to say /before/ that #maybe I'm just literally too stupid to see clear hard differences between male and female too #fuck this #fuck everything

[p-antomime]

just so fine.

— minors don’t interact

— wc: 4,7K

content + warnings: 18+, including: dilf!toji, manhandle, spitting, daddy kink, choking, unprotected sex, creampie, a bit of school girl!reader maybe, breeding kink, overstimulation, squirting, degradation, age gap, a bit of size kink, thigh riding

pairings: toji fushiguro x fem!reader

— note: this is a bit inspired by: Love Without Tragedy by Rihanna. — jjk masterlist.

Red lipstick and a broken heart trying to be concerted by the petals of your conscience and your friends who said that "he didn't deserve you anyway". And honestly, you didn't know where exactly you were getting the strength from to get out of bed that Monday and go take a shower before heading painfully to your first class in the morning.

He used to be the boy you loved with every cell of your body and soul, he stole the best years of your freshman life at the university, and now you were a senior who had neither the animation nor the patience to welcome the incoming freshmen that year. Despite having Kugisaki and Megumi fervently cheering you on while Itadori was too busy still dealing with the problem of sending documents to the college, your heart was still fatally wounded and your dignity no longer existed as your tears had wiped it off the face of the earth during that morning shower and you couldn't help but be tempted to put on makeup good enough to mask your dark circles under your eyes and downcast face.

"Are you coming today?", Nobara asked excitedly on the other end of the line as you were already leaving the house and taking the long way to college.

— Do I have the option of not going?

"No, of course not.", Nobara replied with a slight laugh that was well intended to cheer you up a bit, "We can have a movie night tonight, to cheer you up."

— At whose house? At mine that won't be, it's a mess. — You grumbled.

"At Megumi's or Itadori's, of course. During lunch I'll buy soda and food with Yuuji and you convince Megumi to let us break into his house today.”

— Why do I have to convince Megumi? You came up with the idea.

"Because I'll be busy, simple. And Fushiguro doesn't take me seriously.", and then you sighed heavily, already noticing that you were less than a block away from entering the college grounds.

— Okay, I see what I can do.

Kugisaki told you that she was waiting for you in the classroom, and you replied that you were already there. And then something distinctive caught your attention. It was strangely easy to spot something different in the landscape of the university entrance because usually it was always the same: university students rushing to settle personal matters or to classes they are late for, or also students who came to see what the college was like before the university application period.

But today was different. There was a tall man fully dressed in black and gray leaning against a motorcycle that looked as if it had been taken from an action movie because it was so well equipped and large. He looked relaxed, and yet he still possessed an aura that could kill you with a single punch. Attractive and devilishly dangerous with that leather jacket highlighting his strong arms and broad shoulders. Forcing your eyes a little, you could notice a scar close to one of the corners of his lips.

— What's the matter, little girl? — His deep voice reaches your ears, but your mind whispers to you that he probably wasn't talking to you at the same time that your heart starts to beat out of control and your head turns from side to side trying to check if there is someone behind you. — Yeah, I'm talking to you. — He smiled sideways.

— Uh... hmm... none, sorry. — Your cheeks started to heat up and you wanted to punch yourself in the stomach because usually a simple man couldn't disconcert you like that, and then your eyes fell on his collarbones, well marked by the black shirt he wore under his jacket, and your mouth suddenly felt too dry.

— What exactly are you apologizing for? — The man asked as he placed one of the helmets on the motorcycle seat, if there were two helmets maybe he brought some college girl? — For eating me with your eyes or staring at me? — And then you choked on your saliva and coughed desperately for air trying not to drop the folders in your hands and he seemed amused by your reaction.

— I-I... — Your fingers squeezed the folders and you had to look away to think straight. — I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to.

— I am not, it's great to be lusted after by younger girls. — He replied, but before he had a chance to continue his onslaught someone approached from the diagonal.

— Dad! — And then you choked again seeing that the one who was referring to the man in front of you as "dad" was Megumi. — Oh, Y/N? — He looked confused looking from you to his own father. — Anyway, they didn't have what you wanted at the pharmacy, next time you'll buy it yourself. — The young Fushiguro spoke to the older man, but seconds later, noticing the mortifying silence that settled over the place as you stared at his father, he spoke up: — And we are almost late already, let’s go, Y/N. — Megumi took one of your arms and started to guide you away from the motorcycle and closer to the interior of the college.

— You never told me you were interested in girls. — His father shouted more to embarrass his son than you, but the effect was the opposite, since you were the one with the burning cheeks.

— Shut up, Toji. — Megumi shouted back as he continued walking. — Did he say shit to you? — He asked you when the two of you were already walking down the halls to your classroom for the first class of the morning.

— Not really, no. He seems... fine. — You tried to talk as if you didn't have dirty thoughts running through your mind especially after remembering the older man's collarbones and scar, and still Megumi gave you an accusing look.

— Don't try to fuck my father, that's disgusting. - Your eyes widened.

— I wasn't thinking that, you idiot. — And then Megumi let out a loud laugh.

— I know, I was just trying to amuse you. — He shrugged and left you standing in front of the door. — See you at lunch?

— Yes, of course. — You answered, and then suddenly remembered Nobara's request on the phone earlier. Your hand held one of his arms so that he wouldn't walk away without listening to you. — Megumi, can we have a movie night at your place tonight? Nobara came up with the idea of doing this to cheer me up a bit. — He seemed to become suddenly tense.

— I'll have to at least let Toji know that there will be people coming home today. — Megumi answered vaguely and shrugged. — I'll send a message to Kugisaki and let her know if it's on or off.

Nodding your head positively, you gave your friend a slight smile, and then for the rest of the day your mind concentrated on paying attention to your classes, your scheduled seminars and the pile of work you still had to do. There was no time for your heart to pound with grief over the loss of your now ex-boyfriend, but there were several minutes when you had to chase away persistent thoughts of Megumi's dad. But looking at him wasn't enough, your hands wanted to explore his body and leave marks everywhere, that's what you thought until you felt ashamed, pushed the thoughts away for a few brief minutes and then thought about it again. In a vicious loop.

When you were having lunch with Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki, your head tried to focus on their conversation as much as possible, but looking at the man with black hair and beautiful eyelashes reminded you of Toji and your hands started to break into a cold sweat. It had been a frustrating, tiring day, but secretly you were a little excited to see your friend's father again.

— Don't take too long, okay? — Nobara spoke after dropping you off and leaning against the hallway wall, and you nodded positively before going to your room to pack a backpack with some pajamas and an outfit in case you and the other two friends ended up falling asleep while you were at Megumi's house.

It didn't take long before you two were ringing the doorbell of the Fushiguro’s house and from the loud sound from inside the house you both could tell Yuuji had already arrived. Suddenly, Y/N felt nervous not knowing who would answer the door. Would it be Toji? "Damn", you thought as you saw exactly him calmly opening the door. This time he wasn't wearing very dark clothes, it was just gray sweatpants and a white v-neck shirt that still highlighted his beautiful collarbones.

— Is that them? — Itadori shouted from another room in the house.

— Yes. — Megumi, who was looking at the two girls standing in the doorway over Toji's shoulder, answered. — You may come in.

Toji moved to the side letting you two into the house and, using the personal excuse of being embarrassed, Y/N walked in with her head down. And partly, in fact, it was true that you were embarrassed, but your mind knew that your eyes wanted to take a good look at the older Fushiguro's thighs and cock. It was impossible not to look at those parts of his body, especially with that kind of pants.

But then Toji gave himself the right to go up the stairs to the upper floor of the house and out of your field of vision when Megumi asked you and Nobara which movie you wanted to watch and she answered that a drama movie. And then the four of you started to watch the movie comfortably, until you started to feel the straps of your own bra start to press painfully against the skin of your shoulders.

— Can I go to the bathroom? — Y/N asked Megumi, who pointed to the steps of the staircase diagonally across from the sofa.

— First door on the left. — You nodded and walked up the stairs carrying your backpack, intending to get rid of your bra and also put on the comfortable pajama top that had been brought.

From the hallway you could hear the low sound of another TV escaping through the gap in a tall door. It was probably Toji's room, such a thought raced through your mind, and you shrugged as you entered the bathroom, leaned against the door, and began to remove your bra and change into your shirt. It was inevitable to sigh in relief as you felt your shoulders less tense and sore and your hands groped your breasts just for the personal pleasure of feeling them free now.

— Hmm, may I come in? — A muffled voice was heard behind the door and instinctively you quickly removed your hands from your breasts.

— Just a minute. — Y/N answered, shoving the previously worn blouse into her backpack and almost running toward the door, slowly opening it.

You looked forward and found yourself facing a bare hard chest as you waited to see a long hallway with four different doors. Toji was now shirtless in front of you and your cheeks burned a little, which got a little worse when your brain short-circuited, your hand rested two fingers against the warm, somewhat soft skin of his chest, and you pulled away slightly so that you could look him in the eye.

— I'm sorry. — Your hand finished opening the door and there was again a sideways smile on Toji's lips

— Are you going to sleep here? — He asked, sliding his gaze over her shoulders, breasts and abdomen freely, without any embarrassment.

— No, actually. I just changed my shirt to be more comfortable.

— Got it. — Toji looked you straight in the eyes again, but yours were already gliding across his face until you found the scar close to his lips.

— How did you get this scar? — You felt the need to prolong the conversation just to get a better record of his face.

— You're pretty curious for someone apparently shy. — He remarked, his eyes sparkling with a gleam that you couldn't quite identify what it was. — When I was younger, we could say I wasn't the friendliest person in the whole world, so I got into a few fights. — Toji shrugged, as if this was not relevant information

How old are you? — A mischievous smile slowly drew on his lips.

— Old enough to be your dad.

"Then maybe I can call you Daddy", was the first thing you thought, but there wasn't enough courage in you to flirt shamelessly, especially with Megumi or the other two able to eavesdrop from downstairs.

— I think I've been here with you long enough. — Y/N answered, putting the backpack on her back and walking past Toji, but just as her feet were about to start down the steps, the older Fushiguro called her out.

— I think you forgot something, little girl. — You turned back in confusion, and in his hands was your bra. Toji threw the piece of clothing toward you through the air without much force to fall gently onto your palms that had opened toward him. — The next time you forget something like that inside my house, I'll keep it for myself. — You frowned, assuming that he was implying that there was possibly something between you and his son.

— Me and Megumi, we don't... — Your shoulders shook without your mouth finishing the sentence.

— I wasn't talking about him exactly, you're very naive, not that that's a problem for me. — He went into the bathroom and eventually you were alone again.

Feeling more embarrassed than the first time you had seen Toji earlier at the university entrance, you joined your friends again in the middle of the movie and were grateful that none of them had bothered to ask if anything had happened in the bathroom because of your delay. Eventually Nobara fell asleep on your shoulder after eating two pieces of the pizza Megumi had asked his father to buy, and Yuuji began to yawn almost pushing the son of the owner of the house off the couch.

— I knew they would both end up sleeping. — Megumi grumbled, pushing Itadori aside and getting up from the sofa. — There are two guest bedrooms upstairs, you and Nobara can use both of them and Yuuji sleeps with me, or one of you can sleep with me and the other and Itadori in the other bedrooms.

— I think it's better that Yuuji better sleep with you. — Y/N replied looking at Kugisaki, who was starting to fall off her shoulder.

And then Fushiguro woke the almost sleeping Itadori to go upstairs while he carried Nobara up the stairs and you accompanied him carrying both your and your friend's backpack. After tidying Kugisaki up in bed and getting Yuuji changed, Megumi spoke to you before leaving you alone in the guest room:

— If you feel hungry, you can go in the kitchen and get something to eat during the night. And, well, you already know where the bathroom is, and so does my room. If anything happens during the night, you can call me or him. — Megumi pointed to the door of Toji's bedroom, and you nodded positively.

And then you laid lazily on the slightly uncomfortable bed in the room and tried to relax. Almost, almost, sleep caught up with you, but your evil brain began to make you think about the fact that Toji was only a few miserable doors away, and the anxiety began to corrupt you rapidly, like a corrosive acid. But even though you wanted to go knock on his door, you forced yourself to sleep, especially since the day had been exhausting.

The next day, just like the rest of the week, Y/N didn't get to see Megumi's dad, and he didn't make much of a point of talking about his father either, after all, why would his friends be interested in him, right? All the other days of the week, her mind focused more on trying not to think about her ex-boyfriend and also not to think about Toji, just college business.... And then came the next Thursday of the successive week.

And there was Toji Fushiguro, leaning against his big motorcycle, but this time with only one helmet and different clothes. Honestly? You didn't know if you should go talk to him or not, if you should just walk right by or not. But, in the end, your mind tricked you into choosing the second option, and your feet awkwardly made their way to the college with your eyes struggling not to check the man's reactions.

— Can I have your number, little girl? — Toji asked in a tone loud enough for you to hear.

— What? — You looked away, wringing your hands nervously.

— I asked if I could have your number. — One of his hands swung his cell phone toward you.

The first thought that crossed your mind was, "What if someone sees us together and tells Megumi?", but honestly, Megumi probably wouldn't be interested in your sex or love life, even if it was with his father.

— Maybe, if you take me for a motorcycle ride today.

— You're wearing a skirt, are you sure you'd want to do that? — Toji suppressed a playful laugh. — You could have a ride somewhere more comfortable than my motorcycle today.

You narrowed your eyes and bit the inside of your cheek, realizing that you were entering dangerous territory in a game of seduction that Toji knew and played better than you.

— Will Megumi be at home?

— He has an internship today. — Toji replied, drumming his fingers on his helmet.

— Wait for me after four o'clock then. — You replied and walked back toward the college as you felt his eyes fixed on your ass.

Throughout the day you felt uncomfortably nervous and Nobara even asked you if everything was okay several times at different times. The only answer your mind formulated was a simple positive head movement, because honestly you felt embarrassed to be interested in a friend's dod, even though this father was extremely attractive and did not reject your shy and restrained advances. He was just so nice, fine.

Fine enough to make you press your thighs together to try to relieve the sexual tension as your legs walked towards the Fushiguro house. And when you got there, it didn't take long to see Toji opening the door wearing only black sweatpants. You went inside and closed the door, nervously watching the older man, who sat comfortably on the sofa in the living room and called out to you with his index finger. As you stopped in front of him, one hand patted his lap and the other was placed on your thigh covered by your skirt. Slowly, Y/N took her seat sitting on his covered cock.

— Why do you look so tense, hm? — Toji asked, squeezing your thigh without too much force and you moved slightly against his hip. — Are you a virgin by any chance? — Your cheeks heated up.

— N-No, you just make me nervous. — Y/N replied, shrugging slightly.

— Do I? — He pretended to be surprised as he slid his hand up her skirt and pushed his fingertips against her covered pussy. — Do I make you get your panties wet too? — Toji pressed his hips against hers and her hands rested on his shoulders for a few brief seconds.

— Fuck, yes. — You groaned, taking your fingers to the buttons of your shirt to undo them. — I've been thinking about you more than I should, I've been thinking about everything about you.

— So, why don't you show me how much you've been thinking about me, huh? — Fushiguro pulled her panties aside and stroked her pussy in slow circular motions while he brought his other hand to her face and pulled her closer to his. — Show me how much you want me and cum on my fingers like the dirty slut I know you can be. — His thumb slowly brushed over your lips and you opened them, your mouth filled by long fingers.

You grabbed his wrist close to your intimacy and guided two of his digits into your interior. And, fuck, they filled you so well. Toji's fingers were thicker and longer than yours, so the times he repeatedly curved them inside your cunt, their tips easily brushed and pressed that spot that made you roll your eyes having your body spasm with pleasure. "What a beautiful vision", the man would be thinking as he watched his beautiful college girl choking on his fingers while being fucked by the others.

However, he didn't move his hand against you much, meaning that he let you choose the pace and intensity, until you whimpered against his neck in a silent request for his fingers to move against you:

— Please, Toji, move your fingers. — Y/N said as she pulled away from Toji's digits that were preventing her from speaking and forced her hips against his hand.

— Can't you cum on your own? — He asked squeezing your chin to make you keep your mouth open. — Pathetic. — Toji spat on your tongue and closed your mouth to force you to swallow. — Pathetic slut. — And then he began to finger you in a relentless rhythm.

If Fushiguro wanted to make you cum in his hand, that's exactly what he got, and he even got a great view of your trembling body, your breasts rising and falling rapidly because of your rapid breathing and your head falling back in an intense pleasure you didn't know your body could achieve. While you were still clouded by ecstasy, his fingers snuck up to finish removing your panties and getting rid of your clothes covering your upper body. He wanted you only in your skirt.

— Look at my pet slut with her beautiful cunt leaking. — His fingers spread the folds of your pussy to see you twitching around just at his obscene words. — Just so nice. — Toji pressed the thumb against your sensitive clit and gave you a smirk before he sat you down on one of his thighs, began to move you there and also slowly stimulated your clit.

His body leaned down and his lips latched onto your breasts, sucking and licking them more intensely as your hips moved faster against his thigh. And occasionally Fushiguro would pull up her skirt and slap her ass hard enough to leave several finger marks across her skin; and it was on one of his slaps that a short, gasping, "Daddy" sneaked out from between your lips and hit Toji's mind as a twinge of intense pleasure coursed through his entire body.

— Say that again. — He ordered, grabbing her neck with the hand that had been slapping her ass before.

— Daddy... — Y/N groaned breathlessly as she continued to move her hips against Toji's thigh in a desperate attempt to cum again.

— Keep calling me that, be a good little whore for me. — His other hand continued to stimulate your clit, now at a more intense pace that managed to push you straight into the abyss of a orgasmic pleasure that you so desperately needed.

After that, Fushiguro held you still in place as he continued to press his fingers against your clit. He definitely wanted to bring you close to the level of almost passing out from so much lust running freely through your body, and so your legs instinctively closed around his hand. At the same time that you desperately needed to breathe because you felt like your lungs were burning from your intense panting, every fiber of your body was still clamoring for the stimulation that only Toji could give you at the moment, so it wasn't hard for him to force your legs open again with a sly smile on his lips:

— Come on, my pretty girl, give me everything you've got. — He made scissor-like movements against her walls and her hips automatically forced themselves against Toji's palm, even though her intimacy was already quite sensitive.

— Daddy, please... please, more, daddy... — Y/N sank her face into the curve of Toji's neck trying to stifle her own moans.

— What a great fuck toy you are. — His fingers curved and you gasped, feeling again that same pressure as before against your bottom that indicated that your third orgasm was approaching. — No matter how much I make you cum you keep asking for more.

And the more he moved his fingers frantically against your pussy, the more you felt your thoughts disappear completely and all that was left was only Toji Fushiguro, and his fingers, and the cocky smile he had no matter what the situation was. Those same fingers that made you squirt for the first time against his abdomen in a third, overwhelming orgasm and your cheeks heat up violently, especially after seeing Toji bring them to his lips looking more than just satisfied with his work with you. Fuck, you could fuck him several times, you could pass out from pleasure, and you still wouldn't ask him to stop or slow down with you.

— Think you can handle one more, pretty girl? — He asked, his hands reaching for his pants and underwear.

— Yes, Daddy. — Y/N tried to speak as firmly as possible with her heavy breathing.

Toji put one hand on your waist and the other on your chin and took the opportunity to pull you in for a kiss as he entered you slowly, which made you lose some focus on the kiss and moan against his mouth as your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders. He didn't let you get too used to the recent intrusion and started thrusting himself against you hard.

After leaving yours, his mouth slid down your neck and shoulders to leave sucking and biting the area before placing the hand that was on your chin on your neck. Eventually yours moans went from simple gasps and sighs to little "Daddy" that made Fushiguro's dick twitch against yours insides several times and grunts escape his lips.

— I will breed you like the desperate little whore that you are. — Toji stroked hard against you while squeezing your neck a little harder. — I bet you're going to love this, aren't you?

— Y-Yes, daddy, breed me, please. — Y/N moved her hips against his while maintaining eye contact with the older man's predatory eyes. — Fill me up completely, until I'm leaking.

Toji squeezed your waist tightly, tilted your body slightly until your hips arched a bit, and started a rhythm of thrusts against you that as a result made your mind go blank and your nails leave scratches on his shoulders. And your fourth orgasm didn't even take long to hit you almost as hard as the third because your whole body had been extremely sensitive for a long time; after fucking that man incessantly you would definitely be addicted to him, to his touch, to his dick, to his lips. Everything about him was addictive.

After making you cum for the fourth time, Fushiguro kept thrusting inside you until his cock forcefully contracted against you and filled you full of cum. By that point you had definitely become just a bunch of holes for him to fuck, and if your body wasn't already so sensitive you might want him to actually fill every possible place in your body with cum. When he withdrew his dick from inside your pussy, Toji pulled your hips up to watch the white liquid escape your entrance and used his fingers to push it into you again.

— Come here. — He patted his chest lightly, and you leaned your sweaty body against his as you lifted your head to look at him. His hands caressed your body and soon you found yourself being carried up the stairs. — I'm going to give you a long shower, and then I'll take you home. — Toji left a gentle kiss against your forehead, and you felt more comfortable than you really should have in his arms.

— Thank you, daddy. — You replied, and he couldn't suppress a satisfied smile.

And maybe from then on you continued to take advantage of the times when Megumi wasn't home or you weren't so busy with college to spend hours together.

#toji fushiguro #toji smut #jjk toji #toji x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen toji #i4nanami #daddy toji #toji supremacy #tw.daddy kink

[suesylvesterf]

What was going to an all girls school like, if you don't mind me asking? :)

OK anon im so sorry this is so long and so convuluted I actually got so carried away jdbKJBGKSDBGH. i'm not even sure i properly answered your question i just got overwhelmed with Love for my same-sex schooling DHGKJSDFBHG anyway, if there's anything more you want to know lmk and I will try to be concise next time 💀

Essentially, my own experience at a single-sex secondary school was fantastic—however, I know my experience isn’t universal, especially since my school was a little bit different to most, I think.

That being said, I still think that sending your daughters to female-only secondary schools is something every parent should strive to do if they can. No other learning environment will ever be as good for girls as a same-sex school.

In terms of school staff, mine was about 95% female, and 5% male. The few male teachers we had were genuinely competent men and decent teachers, they were also watched like hawks. Our principal was female, all leadership positions in the school (such as House Leaders, Year Level Co-Ordinators, Department Heads, even the chaplain) were held by women. Our school psychologists, our nurses, our library technicians, our café ladies, our career advisors, our tutors—all were women. Our school houses (think like Harry Potter houses) were named after important women in our country’s history.

I went to a co-ed primary school. And whilst at twelve you might not have the words to describe it, graduating from a co-ed space, into an all-female space is really a giant weight off of your shoulders. You don’t realise how suffocating co-education is until you’re no longer having to bear it. It feels so much more natural, so much more free! You are welcomed as you are. You can be loud and unashamed of it. We joked frequently with each other and our teachers, laughed loudly and cared not whether our laughs were ‘ugly’. I found that teachers were far more supportive than they were in my co-ed school. For example, in a co-ed school I had been told frequently to ‘pipe down’ or to ‘reel it in’ from teachers, and more vexingly to ‘shut up’ from boys due to my boisterous personality. In high school? My teachers encouraged me to audition for the play because I had ‘great projection’. In every school programme (more on those later) that I was involved in, I was the one asked to give speeches about them at assembly. I was asked to be the lead of our house chants during our sports festivals. I was asked to join the debate team because of my passionate nature, which in primary school, had me known as ‘difficult’.

Likewise, I had a friend who was by nature quiet, and loved to draw. In primary school she’d doodled on the back of a work booklet, and when her teacher returned it, she’d taken off two points and had written a comment saying something about teachers in high school not accepting work that was drawn on.

Do you know what happened when she got to high school? Our English teacher had seen the eye she’d drawn on the back of our Romeo and Juliet test and had written, ‘beautiful!’ above it. The next test, she drew a two-headed cat with witches’ hats on both heads (I remember the left head was called Turpentine and the right head was called Esmeralda). Our teacher wrote, ‘wonderful!’ above it, with a smiley face.

The next day she got an email from our art teacher that had a PDF flyer of information on both in-school and local art competitions.

Anyway, she had questions and that teacher answered every single one of them. She also personally helped her select the works she wanted to submit. She ended up having two pieces shown in the school gallery, along forty pieces made by other girls. About five years later for our final year, on that art teacher’s recommendation (and tutelage!) she took all of the visual art subjects on offer. When she graduated, her final piece was shown at a public exhibition in our state’s capital city, that honoured the best pieces done by select graduating students in the state.

So yeah. Our teachers were pretty amazing. Of course, there was the odd teacher or two you would butt heads with but that’s just a universal school experience. Our humanities classes, like history, for example, often had a unit that would focus on the female experience of a certain time period. For example, when learning about WW2, we did projects on female resistance fighters et cetera.

We had health classes that were actually focused on female health. We learnt about female anatomy (even the clitoris! Though we were all about thirteen/fourteen at this time so we found it incredibly awkward to talk about), as well as symptoms of PCOS during our menstrual unit. We learnt about contraceptive methods and devices (however, as a Catholic school they did have to tell us that whilst these methods are available, the church-sanctioned method is of course, abstinence).

Whilst the majority of the girls shaved their legs and wore makeup, as someone who did neither of those things I rarely felt judgement about it (albeit, I think there was a little for my lack of makeup, but this only lasted the first two years). A good portion of our staff also did not wear makeup, I don’t recall this ever being commented on. And, by the time we’d reached about our third year, a good portion of my year level and the ones above did not wear makeup on a daily basis. Leg hair was not looked down upon by any of us I don’t think by this year either. In fact, if you were particularly hairy often your hairless friends asked to rub your legs!

We were never short of female role-models, our staff made sure of that. We had multiple days per year when guest speakers would come and talk to us, mostly these were women who were experts in their fields—whether that be neuroscience or computer science, linguistics and literature or mathematics, politics, et cetera. The only times we really had male guest speakers was when police officers (one male one female) came to give us an assembly about sexual peer-pressure and laws around sharing nudes that was basically, “these are common (male) manipulation tactics used to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, don’t fall for them”.

We were encouraged to take STEM subjects, and those of us that had taken interest in computer programming were sent to coding programmes in the city during school hours! That’s how keen our teachers were to get more women into the field! This was the same with the girls interested in politics, who got to go to Model UN events, as well as mock parliaments in the country’s capitol.

We had a lot of programmes generally. A few overseas ones for girls who were in LOTE (languages other than English) classes. A few interstate ones, too. And of course, local programmes and excursions. Most of them (aside from the LOTE ones which focused on immersion) were volunteer programmes aimed at helping women and girls. The rest were about furthering our own skills or learning new ones. Majority of these were year-level based, but a few depended on the clubs/groups/classes you were in. For example, I was part of the Writer’s Club, and we took an excursion to the state Writer’s Festival and listened to female writers as well as feminist panels. We also had self-defence programmes every year.

In terms of peers I generally found everyone to be quite amiable by the time we’d reached our third/fourth year. There’s a common myth about all girls schools being filled with ‘catty’ girls who are constantly bitching about one another, but I really did not find that to ring true. There were a few fights and arguments in the earlier years, I was part of quite a lot lol but that’s honestly… just something that happens at school, at any school. Largely, we were good to each other. If someone was crying there was always someone who’d ask her what was wrong. If you missed the notes on the slide, there was always a girl willing to share her notes with you.

I think going to an all-girl’s school, and not having that much interaction with the opposite sex generally for that six-year period truly does something, I think, to your psyche. We are socialised to look down on our fellow woman, socialised to look down upon ourselves. But actually being constantly surrounded by women, and almost ONLY women, really helps to undo that. Even now I could not describe the fierce love I have for all those women and girls I came in contact with during my time there—even the ones I bickered with. Each and every single woman I met there enriched my life in some way or another. I think that is the effect of consistently spending time in any female-only space: developing a true appreciation for women. It is the only reasonable conclusion to come to.

I have been out of high school for two years, and in university for one. Among the many men I have met since, none of them have even been able to hold a candle to the any women and girls I know.

Anyway. TLDR: it slapped, send your daughters to same-sex schools!!

#this is so long sorry #long post #radfem safe #separatism #radfem

[sparkvn]

An Apparent Promise⏐Kim Sunwoo

Sunwoo x Fem!Reader

↳ Genre/Warnings: fluff, suggestive, angst, gets sadish at the end, suggestive, cliche love

↳ Synopsis: In which your daughter asks you about your first love.

Long italics are flashbacks and the short italics are just emphasis lol.

y/c/n = your classmate's name

The ~~~ indicates a gap in dialogue and that there would be a filler later on.

Ending: Promise Fulfilled

masterlist!

"ok kiddo come on, let's get you into bed" you tell your 7 year old daughter as it's nearing her bed time. "but mommy I'm not tiiiiirreedddd", she responds with a whine.

"aw baby...." you jut out your lips into a pout- " no buts, i don't care if you're not tired, get into bed" you click your tongue and shoo her into the direction of her room.

"hmph fine, but can you tell me a story?"

"sure thing baby" and before she's found a comfortable position- "can you tell me the story about your first love?"

Everything stops. The world stops spinninng. At a loss of words and your breath catches. Your first love. ...you feel your heart skip a beat thinking about who your first love was and a smile falls on your lips.

None other than the boy you met in high school-the boy that stole your heart before you could say hi -the boy who directly shot an arrow to your heart...

Kim Sunwoo.

"mommy?" you're shaken out of your thoughts

"hm? yes?"

She only stares at you and tilts her head initiating you to continue.

"right uhh my first love" you say tucking her into her comforter and after that you find a spot to kneel by her bedside.."do you want the long story? or short story?"

"mmmmm" she places her finger to her chin -you smile at the adorable gesture "long story please-no wait short-no long, you know what, just tell me"

You laugh at her antics, "alright then, so.....we met in high school….”

the sound of the classroom’s door whips open as the teacher walks in, “attention class” she waits for every student to turn their heads to the front, “we have a new student in today”

one of your classmates speak up, “a new student? watch it be some dork again” she snickers as she jabs one of her friends elbows jokingly

“be careful y/c/n he could actually one up your rank if you don’t watch your mouth”

A breeze enters through the window and you look out the window. A couple of kids are playing around at the playground near your high school and you spot a little boy chasing around a young girl-they’re playing tag. And when the boy reaches the girl you find it adorable how she stomps her feet onto the ground and fold her arms looking annoyed. The scene distracted you enough you didn’t notice the new student sitting in the empty seat next to you. You didn't even hear him walk in or introduce himself.

The shuffling of the chair wakes you from your thoughts and you turn to see what it was-oh, the meaning of time no longer existed.

He was beautiful. Outright gorgeous-aand you’re definitely staring at him too long. You whip your head to the front just before he notices.

You continue to pay attention to the lecture that the teacher was giving the best at you can, but you couldn’t help shift your eyes a bit to look at him.

His hair was black and straight, it made his head look a little boba and you couldn’t help but bite back a smile. His jaw was defined and sharp, probably the most attractive jaw you’ve ever seen. He turns to look at you-fuck. Your eyes widen and you quickly turn to your other side screwing your eyes shut in embarrassment. He releases a chuckle-your brows knit and you slowly turn back to look at him. He’s just sitting there looking at his notes with a sly smirk on his lips.

And right then and there you knew this boy was going to give you trouble.

-

Lectures throughout your class were beginning to get more difficult and it had everything to do with the damn boy - he just had to be seated next to you. You give a quick curse to the universe.

“Can I borrow a pencil? I forgot mine at home” His voice was soft, yet firm, it made you nervous.

“uh-uh yea sure” you lean down to your bag and as you rummage through it, Sunwoo’s looking at you with a fond smile plastered on his face and when you come back up to turn to his side, he straightens up.

“here” that smile you give him tugs on his heartstrings and your fingers unintentionally touch his as you give him the pencil, his heart feels a spark.

It just happened. You didn't mean for your fingers to touch, it just happened, but you can't lie that you didn't like it - only kind of.

And for the rest of the class you guys can't utter another word to each other out of shyness, feeling a bit love struck.

The bell rings signaling that the day is over, you’re putting away all your thing. You’re a slow packer unfortunately, but you don’t mind if it means you don’t have to struggle weaving your way out of class. Only a few steps down the hall, you turn the corner to see Sunwoo and a girl talking and laughing. She’s giggling and playing with her hair in front of him and jealousy pangs in your chest. Why does she even do that? Twirl her hair and all, it makes you want to hurl.

“Oh sorry” you claim and turn around to leave avoiding seeing them together.

“Wait!!” he yells out for you only for you to keep your pace maybe walking faster now, but he’s of course quick enough to catch up to your walking speed. “where you going?”

Your brows knit in confusion “uh home?”

���the exits the other way”

know it all

You suck your lips between your teeth, “I knew that”

“yea sure you did” he chuckles

you turn to look at him and glare, but he’s only smirking back at you, "I'm Sunwoo by the way,"

"y/n"

after about minute in silence,

“she’s just a friend by the way”

“what?”

“the girl you saw me with”

why would you care-“why would I care?”, but you do, he just doesn't need to know.

“oh then, I just don’t want any rumors to start that’s all” he shrugs

“i’m not one to talk anyways”

“yea…i know that” referring to your very little interactions in class

walking in silence with Sunwoo by your side wasn’t awkward per se, but you won’t let your feelings deal with this-you only found the boy attractive, nothing more

“well see you tomorrow” you speed walk out of the door of the school

he snickers at your rushing “bye” and waves, but not like you can see anyway when all you want is to get away from him as fast as possible

-

The next day wasn’t any much different, seated next to the window as always, a breeze that never fails to flow through the window subtly tousling your hair , though…Sunwoo was being more annoying than usual.

“do you have another pencil?” you turn to look at him and he has this pouty doe eyed expression on his face

annoying

“I literally gave you one yesterday” you state and tell him to stop making that face

he scratches the back of his neck, “ooo yea I kind of lost that one”

you blink at him and roll your eyes eventually leaning down to grab yet another pencil to give to Sunwoo... that he will probably lose again, you lean back up and turn to him to give him the pencil

“thank you” and just like yesterday your fingers touch except... he holds on just a little longer and stares at you softly

your heartbeat races and you're quick to let go of the pencil

you manage to stammer out a no problem though before looking to the other side out the window

Sunwoo's can't help but find your shyness adorable.

and before the both of you know it, the bell rings, it's a routine - you pack up slower than everyone else, just like yesterday and the days prior

but unlike yesterday, he’s waiting for you

why?

“come on let’s go” he cocks his head to the direction outside the classroom and you’re confused not only why he waited, but where he’s taking you

“go where?” feeling a bit worried about his intentions and step back in your tracks

“I’m walking you home-“

“what? why?” making sure he could hear the worry and defensiveness in your voice. What if he drags you somewhere and does what not to you and kills you and it’s not that you’re not strong enough to defend yourself physically, but he could-

“oh hush, i’m not going to kidnap you, hurts that you even think that about me” did he read your mind? He rolls his eyes at you in disdain and you glare at him, I mean in your defense he is still fairly a new student and you barely know him that well, only knowing that his looks does..something to you- tsk

“look, I know you walk home alone and I think it’ll be safer for you if there’s someone else there to accompany you”

before he can talk any further you turn to pull a fist up and he backs up putting his arm up to defend his pretty face, “how’d you know I walk home alone?!??!”

When he knew he wasn't in much harm he brings his arm down slowly, “i didn’t” and smirks, “you just told me”

you squeeze your eyes in shame

“UGH” stomping away not even bothering with Sunwoo anymore

“hey wait up” he starts jogging up to your side, but you turn around quickly and glare at him. He halts and throws his hands up in defense and you huff turning back slowly to start walking home.

But Sunwoo wasn’t going to let you walk home alone, he trailed behind you at a safe distance just to make sure you were safe and every now and then you would turn back around only to see him playing dumb by looking at the sky, or looking at the street vendors or just plainly staring at a blank wall.

And even though you appeared to be annoyed, you weren’t. You liked that he wanted to make sure you were safe, you liked that he would act like he wasn’t there just to mess with you every time you turned around, you liked that he cared for you, but you didn’t like what affect it had to your heart.

“Ok fine at least catch up to me so you don’t look like some creep” not bothering turning around, it's not like he won't be able to hear you and in a couple of seconds there he was by your side with a cheeky smile.

“thank you, I was starting to feel bad for the street vendors, afraid they were thinking that I was going to buy something” you giggle and Sunwoo feels his pride growing from eliciting that giggle.

The rest of the walk is silent, but it’s a comfortable silence, the type of silence where you don’t need to talk to get things running smoothly.

“if you want, I can leave at the corner of your street in case you don’t want me knowing where you live” he asks and though you find it sweet of him to do that, you don’t mind if he takes you all the way home

“No!” -he’s taken aback by your abruptness, “uh-it’s okay you can take me all the way home..if-if you want”

he fails to hide back a smile knowing that you trust him enough to take you all the way home and before you know it the both of you are at the steps of your door

“well this is it” you inform him and he turns his body to face you and eyes around at your house, is he going to judge it or something? I mean it's not like you're poor, your family is actually pretty wealthy. It's a nice home.

he turns back to look at you, “it’s cute”

A flush paints your face, surely he meant the house right?

He snorts at how flustered you got, “thanks for trusting me enough to walk you home all the way”

you don’t want this to end.

You make your way up your steps to your door taking your keys out to insert it into the lock.

“and thank you for walking me home” you take one last look at him before closing the door. He looks good just standing there with his hands in his pockets waiting for you to close to door.

How gentlemanly of him.

Sunwoo walks away with a megawatt smile on his face, “she’s so cute” he says to himself. He begins to walk the sidewalk as a car passes by and he notices the man looking at him conspicuously while driving down the street.

Back in your room, you couldn’t help but let yourself fall back on your bed, take a breather, then thrash your feet around like a fool with a giddy smile on your face. You stop yourself short....take a breather.

"don't get to ahead of yourself y/n, he only walked you home"

The front door clicks, indicating that your father has come home. You begin to tidy yourself up and head out to greet him, "hey dad, how was work?"

"mmm fine" he has a sour expression on his face and you can't begin to read it. You make your way to the kitchen to fix yourself a snack. The silence is too overwhelming for you. The relationship between you and your dad has never been bad, but ever since your mom died, it has never been the same either. From him working more hours, never being able to come home only till it's night, and you're already out the house before he goes to work. Oddly enough, today, he came home early for some reason.

"so who was that boy?"

You freeze. If the silence was overwhelming, this was worst, you'd rather have the silence.

"uh what boy?" Please don't say it. Please don't say it.

"the boy with the straight black hair, with a stupid smile on his face, and nearly the same uniform as yours walking down the street away from our house?"

fuck

"oh.....him? uh he's just a student I've been helping with study and he offered me to take me home as payment" not a complete lie, just a stretch, yea

"y/n..."

"he's an acquaintance ok?”

~~~

"alright"

-

The next day, you weren't sure how to feel with your dad and what you meant to Sunwoo and he meant to you. What was he trying to do?

He turned to look at you with a smug smile, "you know what I want"

You narrow your eyes at him only to roll your eyes before bending down anyways to reach for yet another pencil to give to him. You turn to give it to him, you jerk back, he's dangerously close to you.

His smile....oh that smile "thank you princess"

Princess. Your cheeks warm up and before your lips curl, you quickly snap yourself out of it. It stuck in your mind all through out class....'princess'. A smile would paint your face every now and then.

He turns to stare at you, you can feel it, but you don't want to give him satisfaction by turning to look at him.

"Sunwoo you better turn your head to the front and write your notes or you're going to fall behind"

"Go on a date with me"

Your heart stops, your pencil halts on the paper you were writing on. Did you hear him right? No you couldn't have.

"what?" I mean surely you heard him wrong right? Sunwoo doesn't look like the type to date. He looks like the type to have fun-not be tied down.

"I said" he turns his body facing yours fully and leans in "go..on a date.....with me" he whispers and ends it with a smile.

You heard him correctly, no way you couldn't have when he over enunciated it like that. You wanted to roll your eyes at him, but that would seem to rude.

"I-uh why?"

"Ouch ok, a no would have been fine" he turns his body back and starts writing in his notes

I guess you were going to be rude either way, "I mean, I'm just asking why"

He whips his head back at you and takes a good look at you, "because I find you interesting"

You squint your eyes at him, "interesting how?"

He puts his finger to his chin and makes a puzzled face as if it's a hard one to think about, "hmmm let's see.... you're cute, you seem to have trusted me enough to walk you home and you don't get mad when I ask you for pencils and.....you're cute"

"who said I don't get mad"

"Oh, do you now?"

he's got you now....know it all

You dart your tongue against your cheek in frustration, he does the same, but in victory.

He thinks he's all that huh? So annoying.

"ok well, it would be nice of you to give a pencil back every now and then"

Sunwoo leans down to grab something, "here" he gives you back your pencils that you gave him and you hesitantly reach out for them, but then, “oo wait no not that one, I like that one” he snatches back a pencil that was decorated with berry stickers.

“thanks” and you begin to go back to your studies, hopefully he forgets that he asked you-

“you never gave me an answer”

dang it

“to what?”

The class rings- talk about saved by the bell.

“you’re not getting away yet, i’m still walking you home”

You huff and start your way out the classroom through the exit and on your way home.

Again, just like before every time you turned around, he would pretend like he wasn’t there and again you had to tell him to catch up with you already so he doesn’t look suspicious following a girl home.

“I need you to leave earlier this time”

“why?”

“because my dad saw you yesterday and he practically interrogated me?”

“Ohhh so that’s who I saw staring me down last time”

“what? Sunwoo what were you doing that caught his attention, screaming? shouting? playing the trombone?”

“nothing” a lie, he had a fat smile on his face idly skipping down your street

“but like even if I was discreet, we literally have the same uniform colors, I think that’s some sort of hint that we were together”

“mmmm no not together, just you next to me and me next to you”

Sunwoo lets out a breathy chuckle, “alright princess”

“and would you stop calling me those names?”

“what names….....princess?”

You want to wipe that smirk off.

“so what did he question you about?”

“he only asked who you were” mhm

“…..and?”

You consider telling him what you said? “I said you were a friend” acquaintance is close to friend right?

“ah I see” he nods …………”that could change you know”

You turn to him and see his smirk, annoying once again

The corner of your street is here, and it’s time for the both of you to part ways.

“alright bye, thanks for taking me home” you turn to walk home

“nuh uh wait-“ he grabs your wrist and you pause to turn around only to feel him rub his thumb in a soothing manner on your wrists

No.

“just one date?” he moves down to hold your hand

You look down.

Sunwoo please stop.

“I can’t”

“Ok fine, then not a date, a get together, a study environment situation thingy whatever, just you helping me out with my studies….preferably on the weekend..... at a nice cafe” you look up from both of your hands to meet with his eyes

big mistake.

“fine, strictly studying” he thought you were glaring in protest.

“yes!” he punches his elbow down in victory, but his other hand is still slotted in yours

“Sunwoo”

“hm?”

“let go of my hand”

“what if I don’t want to” there’s that smug smile on his face again

who allowed a smug to look that good on him.

“Hurry up before my dad drives up and catches you with me”

“alright” he let’s go and you turn around to start walking back home

“see you on Saturday at 6….princess”

You roll your eyes, but not like he can see you anyways.

-

Saturday reaches fast and now you’re panicking. What do you wear? He’s never seen you outside your school uniform. Do I wear makeup? Do I curl my hair? Leave it straight?

“why the hell are you panicking, it’s not even a date, strictly studying remember?” The self reminder doesn’t even help.

“oh fuck it” you put together a decent outfit and decide to let your hair down and apply a bit of makeup

Next thing you hear is a honk. A honk? You look outside to see Sunwoo..in a car? In the driver’s seat?? Oh he’s lucky that your dad isn’t home.

You make your way down the stairs and out the door, then open the door to sit in the passenger. You turn to look at him-

He looked-words couldn’t even explain how handsome he looked. With his black hair slightly ruffled, baggy pants and a hoodie. An outfit so simple, yet did something to you.

And words couldn’t explain how beautiful you looked to him, your hair was down, your skin was glowing. A loosely fitted button up shirt and black pants. An outfit so simple, yet did something to him.

He’s staring at you for too long, “you look beautiful”

You bite back a smile, “thanks, you look handsome yourself” you nod towards him.

He smiles, “Thanks, shall we get going?”

“yea, you have all your books and notes?”

“mmmm sure”

You glare at him, you should have known he wasn’t going to bring his study materials.

“I’ve lived far away from studying as far as I could, I ain’t going to get any closer”

You smack his shoulder. "ow" he rubs his shoulder

“look, if you don’t start studying you’re going to fall behind”

“ok ok... I won’t though…..”

why?

“I have you here to help me”

You scoff, he isn’t wrong though, you’ll be here to help him, hopefully.

You reach the cafe and find a spot near a corner window. It’s always better to have natural lighting to study in, it’s the distraction that’s the problem. Him.

“Kim Sunwoo, would you stop eating the pastry and study already? Tsk our teacher was wrong, you could never one up our classmate's rank”

“first of all, rude and second of all, it’s choux pastry, the best one out there” he speaks with a mouth full of it and the pastry cream gets all over his lips

“you have a bit of-“ you gesture to around your lips indicating he has something on them

“oh-“ he leans forward “can you get it for me pleaseeeee?” He pouts his lips out, what did he want? a kiss? right as if you’re going to kiss him.

You chuck a bunch of tissues at his face.

He scoffs at you, “rude” ending with a grimace.

You giggle, “ok now get back to your studies”

The rest of the time at the cafe, he kept his word, it was strictly studying. Your face buried in between your books and your hand jotting down notes. He admired your learning capacity and your attentiveness to your studies, even if he wished it was him that you were paying attention to, but it’s fine, he thought, as long as it wasn’t another person you were paying attention to. Sunwoo did his best to study too, even though he hated it, he did it for you. And every time he would look up to eye at you, you would scold him telling him to focus. He did his best at least, going past like 5 pages into the book from where he started. That's improvement to him.

Before you knew it, time flew by, it was dark, and it was time for you both to end your "date" and get going home. On the way home, he decided to make a pit stop.

“what why are we here? Are you going to kidnap me? I knew you were trouble”

“oh would you relax, we’ve been studying all day, let’s just enjoy the view of the river and talk” he puts his arm behind his head and leans back into the driver seat and rests his eyes closed.

"You mean I've been studying all day,"

He lifts into a shrug.

“fine” you inevitably give in, and decide to look out into the river.

The moonlight reflects onto the ripples of the river and you find it an art form in itself. You like to think that the ripples in the water have some sort of control on time. Whether it makes time slow down or go faster, no one would know. They wouldn't bother to figure it out anyways. You just wanted to believe that it did.

Reminiscing bout the time when you were younger, both your parents would take you to go rock skipping and seeing how the pebbles would create ripples every time the rock would hit the water, got you excited and cheery. You wanted to do it too, but you were never able to, it frustrated you, and when your mom died, the trips to the river stopped and that meant rock skipping stopped all together.

“penny for your thoughts?” Sunwoo peeks one eye open to see you gazing out to the river.

“mmm nothing just reminiscing bout the past”

“care to share?” He scoots out of his previous post and shifts to find a comfortable position that is facing you. “geez y/n after all this time??”

You let out a half scoff half chuckle and after a while, “it’s just that…my parents use to take me rock skipping all the time and I've never been able to do it, and when my mom died......we stopped going”

You turn to look at Sunwoo and it looks like he regrets asking.

“Sunwoo, it’s fine” you reach out to hold his hand, but immediately withdraw it.

All of a sudden he steps out of the car-

“wait where you going?” Did you do something wrong? Upset him?

“we-" he jogs over to your side, "are going down there to teach you rock skipping” and opens your door

“Sunwoo, it’s fine-“

“nope no excuses let’s go” he takes your hand and drags you out locking his car. The whole way down the path to the river, you find that he’s still holding your hands tightly.

This spot's perfect. Clear path and enough pebbles to skip.

“you may be good with studying, but this-is what i’m good at”

“rock skipping?” you tilt your head in mockery

“hey”-he points his finger at you “let me have this one”

“ok master rock skipper” you fold your arms back ready to learn from Master Kim Sunwoo

Sunwoo proceeds to pick up a decent sized pebble and begins to demonstrate. “So you just have to set the rock on top of your middle finger and hold it firmly in place, then used your index finger, wrap it around the edge of the rock and when you’re ready to throw, you spin it with your index finger…then” he darts his tongue out and bites on it while squinting as a way to concentrate, then just like that, successfully skips the pebble, “you skip it just like that” He turns around to look at you and finds you standing there.

“You make it look easy”

“Just try it”

“fine” you do the same thing he does, rock in your fingers then when you throw it, you spin it and…you ultimately fail

“Seee I told you I can’t do it” you whine and huff

“you didn’t even try, here let me help you” he finds another pebble and tosses it to you, next thing you know he’s standing behind you, your heart races

body aligned with yours, blood rushes to your cheeks

and arms guiding yours as his fingers places the pebble perfectly in yours, breath catches in your throat.

He swings your arm…and you did it.

“AH! Oh my gosh, I did it!” you turn around and jump in his arms wrapping your arms around his neck, a second later you realize what what you did “oh sorry” you let go, but he holds onto you and now he's so close to you, his breath hitting your philtrum. The reflection of the water hits his features so well. They create a shadow of his features over one side of his face. You never realized how ethereal his eyes looked. It looked like they held the whole universe. He leans forward and slots his lips in between yours and you're taken aback for a bit, but you find yourself slowly melt into his hold and flutter your eyes shut. He goes to grab hold of your waist, his other hand fitted into the back of your head, guiding you deeper into the kiss.

He breaks the kiss and looks into your eyes. His eyes flicker back and forth to find your eyes are half-lidded. You open your eyes fully to him, his dark orbs are full of glimmer. Sunwoo reaches down once more to give you a peck.

“come on, let’s go home” he takes your hand and drags you up the steps to the spot where his car was.

You don’t want to go home just yet, you want to spend more time with him. “Can we stay here a little while longer?” You suggest before he gets the chance to start his car.

He turns at your suggestion and leans back smiling, “yea”

You take his hand slotting your fingers in between his bringing it closer to you to draw circles with your other hand onto his skin. Just like when he walked you home the first time, the silence wasn’t suffocating, even more now you believe could stay like this forever, you can stay like this forever. Though you are curious bout one thing. “Why don’t you drive to school if you have a car?”

“I did at first” he turns to look at you, “until I learned that you walked home alone”

You part your lips whipping your eyes to him. No way he did that for you. “So you stopped driving, wasted precious time, what the heck you could have gone to school faster and gotten home faster”

“I didn’t waste anything, I got to spend time with you, and plus it was good exercise”

You let out a scoff, “idiot” you avert your attention to the river again.

You begin to lean into his arm that was resting on the center armrest, “thanks for teaching me how to skip rocks, it really means a lot to me”

"You didn't learn fully, technically I helped you on that last one"

"Ok fine, then take me again"

"alright"

"Promise me"

Sunwoo looks down at you, “no problem princess, I promise to take you rock skipping again” he moves a hair out of your face and you look up to meet his eyes.

Sitting in silence has never felt so nice and purely perfect. Just staring into each other's eyes, you drowning yourself in those pools of brown, scrolling and admiring each other's feature. You know whatever led you to this moment, it happened for a reason. The both of you never want this moment to end.

“Be mine, princess” you’re taken a back from this, and before you can say anything-

“at least half mine?, like exclusively mine. I know we barely just started, but I want this” he chuckles “we haven’t even gone on our first date yet-“

“this was our first date” you cut him off

He looks at you with wide eyes, a glint of excitement in them, darting left and right to see if you’re serious, “really?”

and you only return sincere eyes to him, “yes really, and ok..... I’ll be 'half'" -you air quote "yours.... I can’t be fully yours just yet” you look at him in adoration. "take me out some more and we'll see"

Sunwoo chuckles, "ok"

You begin to daze out…

“Then what happens” your daughter jolts you out of your memories.

“Oh uh-we- uh” would you stop stuttering?

You look down to your daughter, she has eager eyes.

“We shook hands and said goodnight”

“Really?!?! That’s it?”

No not really…

__

Staring in silence is what you and Sunwoo do best apparently. This time it was you that leaned forward to kiss him. To kiss his pillowy soft lips, it started off slow and sensual at first. Then eager and hungry. He guides his hand behind your head letting his fingers dig into your strands and you climb over to his seat to straddle him. Your fingers too are entangled in his dark locks and his hands move down gripping your waist. You feel the urge to lean more into the kiss and begin to move slightly on top of him. Maybe too much because he moans into your mouth and you take this vulnerable window to slip your tongue in between his lips. You both fight for domination, but he wins. He pulls away and breaks the kiss. He stares up into your eyes and gently moves his fingers to push a strand of hair out your eyes.

“Are you sure bout this?”

You take a good look at him, inevitably finding nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

I'm absolutely sure Sunwoo.

“i’m sure.... like you said, I should trust you by now” you give him a smug

He chuckles and looks back into you again. Your features are everything as he scrolls over them. The way your eyes glow even under dark lighting and the way your lips look soft and slightly beat after that heated session, all of you, is everything to him. He gives you one last deep kiss, “let’s go back to my place ok?” You nod and move back to your seat. If Sunwoo was a fast driver before, he’s a faster driver now.

And that night? Best night of your life. He took care of you, listened to you and made sure you were okay. He made love to you and you made love to him for the first time, gave you all of yourself to him. It was everything you wanted, everything you needed and more.

—

“yes, that’s all that happened miss Jeon” you flick your daughter’s nose gently, you couldn't tell your daughter all that, you’d be a terrible parent if you did, she’s only 7 after all.

“aw well seems like you really loved dad”

you suck your lips in between your teeth

No…but you can’t let her think that you don’t.

“yea…I do love your dad, but that wasn’t your dad”

A sullen look falls on your daughter's face, “hey hey hey" -you begin to gently caress your daughter's face, "that boy was my first love and I loved him with my whole heart, to the moon and back, but first loves come and go, and one day it might happen to you when you grow up and if maybe just maybe you have to let go him or he has to let go of you, don’t deal with it by yourself okay? Hopefully I’m still going to be here to help get you through it and support you always. Your dad and I both love you very much ok?”

“so then what happened to the boy?”

You bite your lip trying to hold back your tears, “uhm…” you look back up then to your daughter again and give her a pained smile, “I had to let him go” your voice breaks

You sniffle, “alright enough of this story, go get on to sleep now, sweet dreams..princess” you kiss her on the forehead

Once you click the door closed you go back to your room and upend through every drawer to find a ring. It wasn’t really a ring, it was a just silly string that he made for the both of you as a promise to always love each other no matter what. You didn’t need a fancy ring from Sunwoo, all you needed was him.

—

~~~

“he’s an acquaintance ok?” you voice.

“watch your tone young lady!” you flinch. You’re not exactly sure when your dad began to act stern and strict towards you. You miss when you were his little girl, and when he was the first man that you could trust. Not anymore, not ever since your mom died. You missed your dad. You missed your mom. You missed your family.

“you know you can’t have anything with that boy”

As if the non-existent love from your dad wasn’t enough, you didn't need to be reminded that you couldn’t ever be with Sunwoo, let alone anyone else.

“you know how this works y/n, alliances have to be created between companies”

“when you turn 23, you are to be married to Jeon Kyung Min do you understand?”

You let your tears fall, why-just why did you have to be born in this life? You were only just a useful asset to your dad. To use you and capitalize off you.

“yes dad”

“alright”

—

But it was already too late, you fell in love with Sunwoo. Even if you both started to fall for each other too quickly, the both of you were sure that you two wouldn't have it any other way. Only one was right. He wouldn't have had it any other way, but you? You knew how this was going to end, and you knew you should have left before it got too far. But you couldn't, it was far too late. When he asked you to be his girlfriend, you of course couldn't say no. You hid your relationship well, graduated together and went off to college. You were surely going to fall in love with him, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. You both were far in too deep, and there was no way getting out of this without hurting the other.

Thinking back, if only you stood your ground and told him no when he asked you to walk you home.

—

You woke up with a heavy feeling in your chest. Today was the day. And you thought the day couldn't get any more agonizing when you see him walk towards you with your usual coffee in his hands that he would get for you every morning. You can’t do this, you can’t do this. Please, please if there is something that can be changed, do it now please. You silently pray to the universe.

But life doesn’t work like that.

“Hey princess”

Please don’t. Don’t make this any harder.

Please.

“lets break up”

Sunwoo freezes, “what? No, stop joking around”

But the pained expression and tears in your eyes say otherwise.

“y/n no, stop it why?” he drops the coffee and comes to hold you.

Let go of me Sunwoo please. But you can’t push him away, if this is the last time he gets to hold you, you let him. Even if it was going to give you immense pain once you let him go, you lean into his touch and cry. He holds you so close to him and you wish that time didn’t exist. You wish your theory about ripples were true, that they had the power to alter time and make it still. Like when you were both in the car during your first date. Oh you wish to go back to that moment. You can hear him cry, “why?”

And yet you still can’t get yourself to tell the truth, “I’m moving” again with you stretching the truth. Though, in writing you are going to be moving into another man’s home and be stuck with him, and you have to let go of the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Sunwoo moves his hands to grab your shoulders, “ok then we can do long distance, it won’t be a problem, please princess don’t leave me”

You shake your head as your tears fall onto the pavement.

“we can’t”

“why can’t we? y/n please don’t leave me” he begins to kiss you.

And it would be the last kiss that you two will ever share. The last kiss Sunwoo would place on your lips and the last time you will melt into his hold. His hold, his arms-your home.

“please don’t leave me,” he breaks the kiss and looks at you with a tear stained face caressing your face while holding you so tight by your waist, “I love you, I'm in love with you please y/n”

No Sunwoo, please don’t say that, don’t say that. If you regretted it before, you regret it more now. Everything you’ve done following up to this moment. Why didn’t you say no to him? Why'd you say yes? Your stupid heart, you should have listened to your head.

But you looked at the silver lining...... maybe just maybe you were hoping your dad would change his mind, maybe he wouldn't make you marry a different man and maybe he'd let you love Sunwoo and maybe you two would love each other until your last breaths, but....Why'd you think things could change?

“i’m sorry Sunwoo” he breaks down while holding you and his sobs shatter you.

after a long while he calms down for a bit he lets go of you to straighten himself up.

He masks his pain with an empty expression and sniffles. Your eyes spot him reach down to his finger.

Instant pain hits you. No Sunwoo please don't do that.

He takes the string off.

Your heart drops.

He takes your arm and opens your palm and places the make-shift ring into your hand. He closes it and gives you one last look, and Sunwoo swears he still sees love in your eyes he's not wrong, then he turns around and leaves.

—

You take a look at his ring and then look at the matching ring on your finger. Even after all this time you never took it off. You never took the string off. When he left you, when you were walking down the aisle to marry another man, you never took it off.

You couldn't.

“I’m sorry Sunwoo, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for making you fall in love with me when I knew I couldn't return what you wanted.

But I hope you’re out there, living the life that I couldn’t share with you. I hope you found someone who loved you more than I could..."

“I never got to say it back...” you break down in sobs.

You relentlessly sob and all you want to do it scream and ask the universe why, why did it make you leave the best thing that has ever happened to you.

It falls silent as you will yourself to collect your emotions.

"We never got to go rock skipping again....I guess we broke our promises to each other."

You kept your promise tho... even if he didn't know it. As long as that ring stays on your finger, you kept your promise.

But ring or no ring, you promised to love him no matter what.

Ending: Promise Fulfilled

#sunwoo #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #sunwoo smut #sunwoo imagines #deobiwritersnet #sunwoo au #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo scenarios #kim sunwoo #sunwoo oneshots #the boyz imagines #the boyz fluff #the boyz angst #the boyz smut #tbz smut #tbz angst #tbz fluff #tbz scenarios #the boyz scenarios #the boyz kim sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #sunwoo drabbles #sunwoo timestamps

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: when you're paired with the most popular girl in your grade for Chemistry class, you definitely don't expect to start liking her like that...

warning/s: none i don't think??

author's note: okay so i have a ton of requests to work through but i got sidetracked and before i knew it, five parts of this imagine were written.

It's based off the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' and idk, i thought it was cute to write! Who doesn't love the popular girl!wanda and loner!reader concept?

Here’s a cover of the song to listen to because i really liked it and a girl sings it so it immediately made the song 10x more gay, just how i like it 🥰

masterlist | wattpad | part two | part three | part four | part five

"Are you all comfortable?"

The class stayed silent, watching our Chemistry teacher, Mr. Hale, as he looked to everyone with a raised brow.

"You all like who you're sat with?" he asked again, as if expecting an actual response from someone.

I exchanged questioning glances with my best friend, Y/BF/N, who was sat beside me. It was the first day back in Chemistry class of our final year of high school and we were just waiting to begin.

"Anyone?" he asked, looking around.

"Yeah," a few students mumbled in response so we could move on.

He clapped his hands together. "Great! Well, don't get too comfortable because I made a seating chart."

A chorus of groans erupted from the class, including from me and Y/BF/N. Every other class had successfully managed to not give us a seating chart. I'd heard that Mr. Hale was an awkward teacher who hated students (ironically), but I didn't think he'd stoop so low as to pair us with students who weren't our friends. These new seats were also our partners for the rest of the year and were non-negotiable, so any projects or work we did would have to be with our seat buddy. Fun.

Students began to shuffle to their newly-assigned seats reluctantly as Mr. Hale read out the chart. When Y/BF/N left my side, I frowned dramatically, waving goodbye to him.

"Wanda Maximoff, you're now partners with Y/N Y/L/N," said Mr. Hale, making me look up at the mention of my name.

I didn't get chance to register what he'd said as the aforementioned girl soon approached me, settling her bag on the table beside me. I looked up and saw Wanda Maximoff smiling my way before taking a seat on the stool.

Huh. Wanda Maximoff. She was one of the most popular girls in our grade. Everybody loved her, either wanting to be friends with her, be with her or be her. I'd personally never crossed paths with her apart from the few classes we shared. She seemed nice enough, but I guess I had preconceived notions of what she was like since she'd made the very poor decision to date the most obnoxious guy ever. Anyone making decisions that terrible definitely had a flaw.

She had a twin brother, Pietro, who was also in our grade and played on the football team alongside her boyfriend. Her parents were good friends with mine, through mutual friends, I think, as I recalled my mum mentioning 'Mrs. Maximoff's boy' or 'Mrs. Maximoff's girl'. And I remembered when her family moved into our town back in second grade.

Admittedly, Wanda was the star of the show back then, too. We were only kids, but child Y/N wasn't blind. She was the first girl I'd crushed on, an innocent child crush – the crush that made me realise I liked girls. Apart from that, and the fact that she had a locker behind me in the hallway, I never really thought about her.

I glanced behind me, catching Y/BF/N's gaze across the room as he sat beside some other kid. He frowned, implying he wished we were partners, and I knew just how he felt.

Once Mr. Hale finished assigning seats, he gave us five minutes to get to know our new partners as he struggled to find the powerpoint for today's class. If there was anything worse than getting assigned seats, it was ice breakers.

"Er, well, hi," Wanda greeted, turning to face me. Green eyes sparkled brightly behind a friendly smile. "I'm Wanda. But, I mean, we already know each other."

"That we do," I said with a nod, returning her smile. "How're you doing? Your summer go well?"

She ran a hand through her hair, adjusting herself so she was comfortable on her stool. And as she did, a waft of her perfume washed over me and I blinked, trying to ignore how nice it smelled. Floral. Subtle. It suited her.

"Good, yeah," she answered with a nod. "Could have gone on longer for all I care."

I chuckled. "I feel that. I'm definitely not ready to be back."

"Right?" she said with raised brows. "It's gonna take a while to get back into routine, that's for sure. But I guess I did miss seeing my friends everyday."

I hummed in agreement, eyes flickering to Mr. Hale as he attempted to tackle the oncoming stream of animations on his powerpoint. I tried not to laugh as I looked back to Wanda, who clearly noticed the same thing as me and stifled a smile.

"Have you had Mr. Hale before?" I asked, nodding his way.

She shook her head. "Nope. You?"

"Never."

"Sucks that he makes seating charts," she said with a sigh, before realising what she said and looking to me with panicked eyes. "Not that I don't like you or anything–!"

"It's fine, I get it," I cut her off with an amused smile. "I wanted to sit with my friend, too."

She breathed out quietly, a hint of relief in her eyes, and scrunched her nose with an apologetic smile. Okay, yeah, maybe that was kind of cute. Older Y/N wasn't blind either. Wanda Maximoff was beautiful, with long brunette locks and matching hazel eyes that seemed to change from blue to green to brown in a kaleidoscope of colour. A winning smile and soothing voice was enough for anyone to fall for her unintentional charm, but it was purely admiration. Everyone pretty much had a mild crush on her, you'd be stupid not to.

"If we're gonna be working together, d'you wanna get the whole awkward number exchange out the way now?" she asked, half joking, half not.

"I– er– sure," I stumbled out rather carelessly, before cringing internally. Where did that come from?

Thankfully, she didn't seem to pick up on it (or just saved me the embarrassment of acknowledging it) and was already writing her number on a slip of paper. Sliding it my way, she capped her pen and gave me her signature smile.

"Thanks," I said with a nod, accepting the paper and pocketing it. "Can't wait to start those lovely science projects we've got coming up!"

She let out a quiet laugh at my sarcasm. "It'll be fine. You're not dumb, right? So, we'll be fine."

"Can't promise you that," I joked, making her roll her eyes playfully.

"Maybe if we–"

But she was cut off when Mr. Hale spoke up loudly, interrupting everyone's conversations.

"Five minutes are up, let's begin!"

I wondered if everyone was thinking the same thing as me – that was not five minutes.

"So it begins...," I mumbled to myself, facing forward.

Wanda breathed out, a stifled laugh, probably having heard my comment, and I couldn't help but crack a smile. Maybe I judged her too harshly. She wasn't actually that bad.

—

Since being paired with Wanda, I was surprised by how much she'd made an effort to befriend me outside of class. We'd always been back to back with our lockers though not quite speaking, but since becoming Chemistry partners, she'd wish me a good morning if she caught me, or greet me briefly as we collected our books.

She didn't have to, but I could see why everybody liked her now. She was just genuinely nice. Due to circumstance, we'd become partners, but rather than leaving it at that, she made a genuine effort to befriend me. And not even just me, but also Y/BF/N, who was at the locker next to mine. He was as surprised as I was, expecting Wanda to mind her own business as we weren't exactly in the same social circles.

This was, I guess you could say, the start of our friendship. And it was a good one at that. I grew to learn how funny she was, how much she loved her brother, the passion she had for art and painting... she was a wonderful person. Which is why I didn't understand why she was with her boyfriend, Nate. He was a grade-A dick and everything Wanda wasn't. How were they a thing?

It sounds like I'm being a bitch and judgemental, but he really is the worst. The few unfortunate times I shared a class with him or caught sight of him around school, he was causing some sort of trouble with the teachers or picking on students in a way that made it seem like a joke but everybody knew it wasn't.

For example, there was a time when Wanda and I were studying for an upcoming Chemistry test we had. We decided to just help each other study since we already worked together in class, so knew we could motivate each other to actually put in the work. It was, maybe, the fourth studying session we had, and I was going over some notes when I felt her eyes watching me.

"You need a hand?" I asked, unable to take the staring any longer. I looked up at her, quirking a brow.

She seemed to fall out of her daydream and straightened up, eyes flickering to mine. "Huh?"

I gave her an awkward smile, unable to maintain her gaze. "You're staring."

She didn't seem fazed as I called her out, instead leaning back in her seat and continuing to study me curiously.

"Did you do something different with your hair?"

Subconsciously reaching for my hair, I straightened up my ponytail and shook my head. "No...?"

She chewed on her lip, saying after a pause, "You tied it up. You usually leave it out."

Did I? I wasn't sure. I just knew that her noticing something like that made me feel self conscious all of a sudden.

"It looks good," she decided, before offering up a small smile. "You should do it like that more often."

Quickly, I felt warm. Was it stuffy in here or was it just me? God, compliments already made me feel stupid. And compliments from pretty girls made me feel ten times that. It didn't help that she was watching me with an endearing expression, making me focus on my book before me.

"Thanks," I got out quickly. "I– yeah."

Her smile widened before she looked back down to her own book. Suddenly, I became acutely aware of the way her leg brushed up against mine under the table.

Thankfully, the strange fuzzy feeling following her compliment faded and we were able to get back to work without her tuning out again. As we were going over each other's practice questions, an annoying voice shouted from across the library.

"Wanda, head's up!"

"Hey, no talking in the library!" a librarian hissed at the voice.

Wanda and I looked up just in time for a football to smack me in the side of the head. I didn't even see it coming until I felt the thing slap my head, giving me an instant urge to strangle whoever threw it.

"Fuck," I cursed, holding my head and closing my eyes to breathe through the pain.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Wanda's voice made me open my eyes and I saw her leaning forward, hand resting on my shoulder and the other on top of mine that was clutching my head.

"Been better," I admitted, trying to make light of the situation because as angry as I was at the idiot who threw it, I was also embarrassed because it hit me.

Wanda seemed concerned as she gently pulled me hand away, not letting go as she got a better look at the side of my face which I was sure was burning red. At least that's what it felt like.

"Shit, I'm so sorry."

I looked up and saw none other than Nate Green, Wanda's boyfriend, hovering and stifling a laugh as he looked at me. He had his stupid varsity jacket on and I was tempted to strangle him with it.

"I thought Wanda would catch it," he explained stupidly, before moving around the desk to collect his football.

Breathing out through gritted teeth, I pulled away from Wanda and nodded reassuringly. "I'll be fine. Just need an ice pack."

"You're such an idiot, Nate!" Wanda snapped, looking to him with a glare. "You need to watch what you're doing!"

He smiled sheepishly, making me roll my eyes and clench my jaw at the heat on the right side of my face. Fuck, that really hurt.

"What did you want?" Wanda asked him with a quirked brow. She definitely wasn't impressed. I'd hate to ever be on the wrong side of that condescending glare.

"I thought we could go out," he said like it was that simple.

"I'm studying," she quipped with crossed arms.

"I'm happy to wait," he said, toying with the ball in his hands.

Knowing I definitely didn't want that, I closed my books and said, "It's cool. You guys go. I think we're done here anyway."

Nate grinned. "See? S'all good."

Wanda ignored him and looked to me with worried eyes. "Y/N, are you sure?"

"You know your stuff," I said, referring to the work. "You'll be fine in the test. I'm sure."

I offered her a small, forced smile, before standing up to pack my bag. She did the same, beginning to pack her own things, but her eyes kept flittering towards me.

"D'you want me to go to the nurse's office with you?" she asked, shame laced in her voice.

"It's fine, I'll be fine," I said, hurrying up with my actions so I could just get out of here whilst I still had (some of) my dignity left. "See you in class tomorrow."

She nodded, sending a guilty smile my way. "See you tomorrow, Y/N."

Without giving either of them a look, I shouldered my backpack and left the library. Just another reminder of why Nate Green was literally the worst person ever.

—

Liking Wanda as more than a friend wasn't something that happened for a while if I'm being honest. I guess I started to enjoy her presence more and more the longer we spent time together.

I'd come to appreciate it whenever she'd say something completely out of the blue that made no sense whatsoever, or whenever she'd laugh at something I'd said that was arguably not funny but she didn't want to make me feel bad, or even whenever I teased her about something stupid she did, resulting in her doing that cute little nose scrunch she did. But I didn't think of it as liking her, more just a randomly-formed friendship that I was glad to have.

Maybe it was this misinterpretation that didn't make me see how I was acting around her, such as the time I was in the dinner queue at lunch when I realised she was stood behind me.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," she said when she noticed it was me in front of her. Her usual bright, friendly smile was on her lips as she looked to me. "You good?"

I nodded, returning her smile. "Yeah. Just getting some doughnuts for Y/BF/N and I. You?"

"Same," she said, before nudging the guy next to her, who I recognised as her brother. "Pietro and I thought we'd treat ourselves."

At the mention of his name, Pietro looked down to his sister before his gaze fell on me. A mischievous smile appeared on his lips as he put out his hand.

"Pietro Maximoff," he introduced. "You must be the Chemistry partner, Y/N, right?"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise as I shook his hand. "You, er, know who I am?"

He glanced at his sister with a cheeky smile. Wanda was avoiding both of our gazes, her cheeks dusting pink.

Clearly saving face for Wanda, he said, "We've been in the same grade since kids, right? 'Course I do."

Despite the truth to his words, something told me that wasn't how he knew who I was. Especially since I was sure I'd never spoken to him in my life. But, to save Wanda the embarrassment of clearly having spoken of me at home, I nodded to Pietro.

"Right," I agreed with an amused smile. "Duh."

I moved down the queue and grabbed two doughnuts from the display, putting them in two separate paper bags.

"Dibs the last one!" Pietro exclaimed as soon as I returned the clippers to the display. He reached around his sister immaturely and bagged the last doughnut.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "You know I can ask for more, right?"

Pietro grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Go on then."

The two were twins, but they couldn't have been more different. I simply revelled in their interaction, finding it adorable.

Wanda did as she said, asking the dinner lady if there were any more doughnuts in the back. Unfortunately for her, those were the last for the day, making Pietro laugh as Wanda pouted.

"Sucks to be you," he teased her, as I paid for mine and Y/BF/N's doughnuts.

"I hate you," she mumbled playfully, but I saw the disappointment in her eyes as he lovingly but annoyingly waved his bag before her eyes.

Without even thinking much of it, I held out one of the bags in my hand. "Here. You can have mine."

Wanda looked to me with surprise. "Are you sure? I can live without a doughnut, if that's what you're thinking."

I chuckled, grabbing her hand and making her take it. "It's okay. I wasn't in the mood anyway."

Plus, you look better when you're smiling and not pouting, I added in my head.

She accepted the bag reluctantly. "I– thanks. At least let me pay for it–"

"It's just a doughnut, Wanda," I teased, before nodding her way. "See you later."

Leaving her and Pietro to it, I headed back to the table Y/BF/N was sat at and took a seat opposite him before giving him his doughnut.

"Sweet," he said, quickly opening the bag before realising I didn't have one. "Where's yours?"

Over his shoulder, I saw Wanda and Pietro taking a seat at their lunch table, doughnuts in hand and a heartwarming smile on Wanda's lips.

"They ran out," I answered Y/BF/N. "Wasn't in the mood anyway. Enjoy."

He shrugged before digging in. I'd like to say I didn't spare glances in Wanda's direction every now and then for the rest of the lunch hour, but I'd be lying if I did.

—

I'm in the art department. You okay to bring it here?

I read over the text Wanda sent me before shooting her an 'okay' and heading to the Art department. I'd grabbed her notebook in class earlier on, only realising as I was studying with Y/BF/N in the library and pulled out an extra one, so I was going to give it her back.

I guess, when you realise you like someone, it comes randomly, suddenly, without warning. Liking someone isn't instant, it's constant and gradual and subconscious. I guess I'd been falling for Wanda for a while, without even realising, but today was the day I acknowledged that fact.

The Art department wasn't somewhere I frequented regularly – give me a paint and brushes and I'd probably present you with a finger painting – but it was definitely worth the visit. Art pieces from current and past students were hung on the walls, a mural of the school was spray painted on another, and sculptures stood around. The whole department brought a smile to anyone's face with its bright colours and open space – I could see why Art students always hung out here, Wanda included.

Speaking of Wanda, I found her in one of the classrooms sat at a stool in front of a series of canvasses. The room had a few other Art students littered around, working on their own pieces during their lunch period, otherwise it was empty.

"Hey," I called, getting her attention as I approached her.

She followed my voice and straightened up with a cheery smile. "Y/N, hey. Thanks for coming. I'm working on my Art project, so I couldn't pull myself away."

I waved my hand dismissively, joining her side. "It's all good, don't worry." My eyes wandered to the series of canvases on easels she was working on and widened. "Holy shit, these are so good."

Three unfinished hyperrealistic portraits of people were before us, one whom I recognised as Pietro. The paintings were so detailed, despite their medium-size, and I couldn't imagine how long they must have taken.

"You think?" she asked, glancing between them. "I think I messed up the nose here." She pointed with the back end of her paintbrush to the nose of Pietro. "It's a bit bent."

I almost laughed as I looked to her with disbelief. "Are you kidding? Wanda, these are amazing. How did you even do this?"

She looked down bashfully, a nervous smile on her lips. "I don't know. It's for a project. I chose to do family portraits." She pointed to each one as she said, "My mum, my dad and my brother."

I was in awe of her talent, jaw dropped with amazement still. I always knew she was an artist, but I'd never actually seen her work. I was starting to wish I'd come here a lot sooner.

"So, you got my notebook?" she asked, pulling me back into reality.

I looked away from the paintings reluctantly before getting her notebook from my bag and holding it out for her. As she accepted it, she must have forgotten she was holding her paintbrush as the tip brushed my wrist, leaving a swipe of red there.

"Oh, my bad," she said with a laugh, before setting her notebook and brush down and grabbing a paper towel from beside her.

Wetting it with water from her bottle, she pressed it to my wrist and swiped the paint away. It was such a mundane action, but the way her fingers gently held my wrist and emanated a warmth only she seemed to carry sent shivers down my spine.

I glanced up at her, letting her do it, and noticed the swipe of paint she had across her cheek, as if she'd touched her face without realising.

Now that I paid attention, I noticed how cute she looked in her Art getup. An old, oversized shirt covered in paint was being worn to cover her clothes, sleeves loosely rolled up to her elbows. Her long hair was tied back into a ponytail, but her baby hairs framed her forehead adorably.

When her hair wasn't in her face, her eyes only seemed more intense, glistening with excitement and happiness. I almost forgot to breathe when they met mine briefly, a hint of embarrassment there from when cleaning me up. She was in her element here and it made sense to me now.

I knew I'd fallen for her.

—

"You don't get it," I was saying to Y/BF/N as we hung about the school gym, waiting for the teacher to start the lesson. "It's bad. I like her. Like, like like her."

Y/BF/N laughed, clapping me on the back with pity. "You're screwed."

I frowned. "I know."

As he stretched for class, he continued, "I mean, I get it, I do. She's super nice. Pretty. And you guys seem to get on."

I chewed on my lower lip worriedly.

He gave me a knowing look. "There's one problem though."

I groaned, running a hand down my face. "I know, I know. She's got that dick of a boyfriend."

He chuckled. "That's one way to put it."

I sighed, crossing my arms with annoyance. Since realising I liked Wanda as a little more than a friend, things weren't going well for me. Whenever we worked together, I'd forget what I was thinking because I was too busy admiring her side profile or getting lost in her eyes. If she spoke about the work, told a joke or was simply speaking her thoughts aloud, I'd focus on every little thing she was saying, knowing I could listen to her speak all day. It was bad, but thankfully I hadn't stumbled over my words or made a total fool of myself in front of her. I was determined to not let it get that far.

My eyes wandered around the gym as Y/BF/N tried to give me advice, but admittedly, his words flew in one ear and out the other when I caught sight of Wanda.

She was standing with her friends, smiling and laughing to whatever they were saying. Like everyone else in here, she was wearing her gym kit – black athletic shorts and a blue and white tee shirt, the colour of our school. It wasn't anything special, yet she made it seem that way, outdoing anyone in here. Her brown hair was tied back, the ponytail falling down her back, showing her stunning profile and making my mouth go dry.

Another clap on the back from Y/BF/N pulled me from my reverie and I looked to see he was laughing at me.

"Majorly screwed," he corrected his previous comment.

He was definitely right.

#wanda maximoff x you #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #mcu #wanda maximoff au #Spotify

[antonhousehold]

im in love with you, sorry; deku

prompt: there's this boy. he's an angel. he's always helping the people around him, just for the sake of seeing them happy. and when you met him, it's almost impossible not to fall for this boy. the only thing that is stopping you from confessing, is him. "you have constellation in your face"

genre: angst

reader: gn neutral

tw: angst, unrequited love, swearing, deku being totally oblivious, reader is really sad lol, regrets, humiliation (not by deku but the reader gets into awkward situations), injuries (not that bad, reader just faints) mentions of killing reader (just once and it was a joke)

note: hiii, this is my second angst lmao, please don't expect too much. english is not my first language so I'm pretty sure i'll be messing up with some grammar. sorry!!

if you could turn back time, would you have the courage to tell him the truth?

maybe everything would be different.

or maybe not.

you felt the sweat rolling down your face, the weather getting cold and the roughness of the floor. everything was blurry, and the only thing that you heard, was his voice.

"[name] can you hear me?!"

"open your eyes please!". you thought he was crying, and the last thing your blurry vision could see, was those beautiful green eyes, staring at you with so much fear. then, everything became white. the smell of medicine and the feeling of being stuck between your body and your mind, was suffocating. you're in the nursing. there's no noise around you, just a messy green hair that peeks over the couch.

"deku?"

he wakes up almost immediately as you say his name.

"dear lord! [name] are you okay?!" he approached your bed and his bright eyes let you know how concerned he was.

"what happened to me?"

"we were training in the gym, and it seems that denki was going really hard to you" his lips pressed between them and a sad face painted his beautiful features "and you fainted. we were so worry about you".

his voice. his words. everything was magical when it comes about him. you felt your heart ache when his calloused hands touch your face.

how he would react to your love towards him. would he accept it? would he reject you?

you'll never know.

"did I scared you?" you asked.

"i almost faint too. don't push yourself too much. we care about you"

'do you care about me just as much I care about you?' you asked to yourself.

"even kacchan tried to get into the room to check on you" his beautiful fingers were running in your hair, so delicately that you think you're about to fall asleep again. his shining eyes were staring at you. even his freckles looked like a constellation.

"your frackles are like a constellation. you have stars in your face"

and as you pronounced those words, his face painted in a vivid red.

"don't say something like that"

'does your heart beat as fast like mine?'

"please rest a little. I'll be checking on you"

"you don't need to. you have stuff to do, Izuku"

he moves his head in disapproval. "nothing is more important than your health and your life. stuff can wait"

you want to kick him. how is it possible to him to be so kind with you? he makes you feel like you're the most important thing in the world. he makes you feel special, loved. but behind his lovely words and actions, you know that he's being just kind. he's being friendly. he's just a good boy.

your boy with stars in his face.

"can i ask you something?" he nods at your question. your blood rushes all over your body so fast, that you feel your body getting cold. maybe it's the medicine. maybe the pain in your back as you try to reach his face.

"i think I caught..."

the door crashes with all of your classmates.

"[name]! thanks god you're okay!" mina run into your bed almost crashing your bones into a tight hug.

"you're gonna hurt them" kirishima giggles.

then, you see a blonde boy coming to you. kaminari checks on you and your bruises. his face turns pale and his eyes starts to lose the light.

"I'm so, so, so sorry for everything I've done to you. I didn't realize how rough i was fighting. I've never wanted to hurt you. please forgive me" he says, at the edge of crying.

you laugh at his guilty face. "it was a mistake" you smiled at him "and i forgive you. you didn't kill me after all. but I'll get revange"

he chuckles and nods.

"you asshole" scoffs bakugou at the back of the room.

after everyone checking on you, every single person leaves the room, except for Izuku. who takes a little bit longer to see if you fever was rising.

"i'll talk to them and i'll be back. don't move"

"as if I could" he giggles.

his presence fades between the door and the corridor. you rest your head in your pillow, thinking about your almost-confession.

'i think i caught feelings for you. i'm in love with you, sorry'

you were about to open your heart, just for him. you wonder about his answer. you wonder how his hands could cup your face while staring at you with so much love. you want that. you want him to love you. you want him to hug you tight before heading to the dormitories. you want to run your fingers over his fuzzy and messy hair.

you want him so bad that it hurts.

your face turn to your right, just to see mina's backpack in the floor. you think in the important homework that aizawa talked in the class, and you worry about your friend. you try to get up, even with your sore legs. you rush over the door, hearing their voices in the next corner. you were about to yell your friends name, when you hear your own.

"i feel so bad for [name]. i didn't want to hurt them. i swear"

"we know, kaminari. it was an accident. shit happens" says mina.

"talking about [name], how's your relationship with them going on, midoriya" you think this voices is from sero.

"relationship?" asks.

"yeah. you're a couple, right?"

Izuku keeps quiet. you would like to see his face.

"im not in a relationship with them. we are friends"

"i thought you were together. i mean, they're always staring at you like your are the most beautiful thing in the whole world" kirishima voice echoes in your head.

your blood is running even colder than before. even your legs shakes a little.

"we are just friends" he says putting a little bit more of enphasis in his words. "i think of [name] as a friend. maybe a sibling. they're important to me, but I don't think I could ever date them. it's not my thing and I'm not looking for a romance right now in my life. i want to do other things that are more important, than a romantic relationship"

you alredy knew. you knew he couldn't love you, but still, you hoped that maybe, and just maybe, he would feel the same way.

it hurts.

"oh, come on, midoriya. they're a good person. i think they would be a great partner"

"even if it's like that, im not interested. i love them, but in a different way"

you felt the knob choking your throat. the warm and salty tears running all over your cheeks. you want to be alone. so you return to the room, walking as fast as your pain let you. at this point, you don't even know which part of your body hurts the most. your legs. your back. your arms. your heart.

you can't even see clearly with the tears blurrying your vision. so this is his answer.

but you still feel stupid. because you knew. you alredy knew he couldn't love. he couldn't be the izuku that you want him to be. you wish you could change your heart. just for another one. another heart that doesn't love deku so deeply.

you feel again the comfortable pillow behind your head, hugging you or so you felt. you can't stop thinking about his words. you can't even be angry at him, cause he's not a bad person. you can't blame him just for not corresponding your feelings. you can't be that selfish. he's only working over his dreams.

and sadly, you're not one of his.

but his one of yours.

the door opens, his face tired and big eyes stared at you with worry.

"[name]! what's going on? do you feel any pain? i'll call the nurse. don't worry. just don't cry please"

and you can't help but cry more.

he's a truly angel. even when he broke your heart, he still worries about you.

"im in love with you. sorry"

OMG! i wrote that. i hope it was sad enough. i also think I messed up with a lot of grammar, but i think it's understandable lol.

thank you for reading!!

#mha angst #Izuku angst #my hero academia #deku angst #bnha angst #Bnha x reader #deku x reader #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia angst #denki angst #boku no hero x reader #mha deku

[prodtrouver]

𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 — choi beomgyu

pairing — good girl! reader x bad boy demeanor! beomgyu

genre — fluff, angst, high school au, obliviousness, denying the truth

summary — everyone has always expected you to be perfect; be pretty, get good grades, get into a very good college, have a rich future. you always do well, no one underestimated you. However, what if you get distracted by something you don't even know?

others — members of txt, mentions of alcohol/beer, getting drunk, and blacking out, an argument with parents, (the reader is very denial and confused)

word count — 9,163

Inspired — little miss perfect & hooked

a/n — this turned out longer than I expected. Credits to my friends helping me with this ff. I hope you guys like it too :D

Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward, straight path, I don't cut corners. I always make sure to be on time - it's my role as the head of the student council.

People; parents, teachers, students, friends- they've always said that you'll lead a simple life if you're perfect, if you're smart, and do everything right. It seems like a perfect one but all I could feel is pressure.

The pressure to get perfect grades, get into a very good or high-end college, the pressure of being pretty! Of course, I'm not saying that it's all terrible- I'm lucky to have this life.

However, I don't want them to see me as a perfect doll. I want to be seen as a person who has flaws; like I get anxious and angry, and even cry.

I don't want to be seen as perfect when I am not.

"Hey, little miss perfect!" I heard a voice- here he is.

Oh, how much I don't like that nickname… Instead of telling him to stop, I kept quiet.

Be proper, be mindful. Don't give in to horrendous and improper vocabulary. Don't ruin your reputation.

I spin around to face the boy who called... that.

Choi Beomgyu, the school's bad boy. To be very honest, I don't know how he became one in freshman year of high school. He wasn't like this back then when we met.

He was sweet and kind- always wearing bright colors, not monotone shades. Now, he's seen wearing hues of gray and brown, and shades of white and black. It just feels weird since I’m so used to seeing him wear bright colors before.

I don't know what happened to him.

"what do you want, Beomgyu?" I asked, before my gaze examined his clothes.

His blouse isn't buttoned properly, the collar isn't even folded properly. The ring attached to his necklace dangled down his neck. He even has his piercings on which aren't allowed.

He looks cool, but I'm not sure if it's good for the school. Although, I admit the reason he looks cool is that black bomber jacket he's wearing.

"Will you give and sign me an excuse slip? I really don't want to attend classes." He reasoned- again? That's his 3rd for the month!

"no, I can no longer give you one, that is unless you have an excuse letter." I held my books closer to my chest and stood straight to face him.

His black hair could almost hit his eyes. The backside of his hair could reach his shoulder blades... I guess he looks good with that hair.

"Just give me one more! This is the last one! After this, I won't leave anymore," he pleaded, his hands clasped together.

I really can't trust him. If I give him none, he'll skip anyway with the chance of getting in trouble. Will it be my problem? No, cause it's his choice.

I only abide by the rules of the school.

"No is a no, Beomgyu. You can skip and possibly get in trouble or go to class and learn something for once." I'm tired of dealing with him. He comes to me for excuse slips and teachers come to me to ask about him. What am I? His mom?

With that sentence of mine, I strayed away from Beomgyu. He stood there, clueless on what to do. After all, I declined his request.

He gotta learn how to attend classes, even if he gets good grades.

Then again, is it the right decision? If he gets in trouble, it's also my fault...

Okay! I need to stop thinking about that! It's his choice to leave! It's his choice to skip! It's not my fault why he wants to do that! He's the one who will get in trouble, not me!

I halted my steps and peeked around. Beomgyu was still there, except he was staring out of the window, probably staring at the school gate.

That gate looks really good now, huh?

His bangs from his wolf cut fell against his eyelashes. When he licked his lips, I could feel my teeth biting into my bottom lip. At that action, I flinched at myself. My hand made it to cover my lips.

What am I thinking!? Why did I do that!? I must be stupid enough to do that. Why am I even feeling this way in the first place? It feels so new, so sickening.

Heaving a sigh. My ability to rush to the student council's office was immaculate. If I were in a cartoon or those silly moments in anime, people could see smoke coming out of my back from running.

I just want to distract myself from how I acted.

When I made it to the classroom, I saw my friend, Taehyun, and Beomgyu near each other... Maybe because he is also my friend, he is from the student council.

"Y/n, sit here." Taehyun pats the empty chair beside him. I was taken aback when I saw Beomgyu seated beside Yeonjun and behind Taehyun.

Now, this is interesting. He's actually in class- indeed a surprise.

Before the teacher could enter, I sat beside Taehyun. His welcoming sweet smile greeted my presence as I pulled out my things.

"How was the president's only meeting earlier?" The other attempted to balance a pencil on his fingernail. I laughed at how random he can get sometimes.

The reason why I went to the student council's office earlier was to talk to the presidents of extracurricular clubs. Spring break is getting nearer- everyone wants to have a little fun.

"It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't swell either." He laughed at me until it was silenced when we both heard Beomgyu's laugh behind us. He seemed to be laughing at a joke Yeonjun made.

"I heard that Beomgyu asked for an excuse slip earlier, but you didn't give him. Did you finally realize that you're hooked on him?" I smacked Taehyun's shoulder before aggressively shaking my head.

"He got a bad reputation in my neighborhood! My parents repeatedly told me to stay away from him, so tell me how I am hooked." I drifted my gaze to the notebook on my desk.

Yeah, we're neighbors- he's popular with all the kids in our neighborhood. His reputation as a 'bad boy' was looked upon as an irresponsible person.

My parents do not like him at all.

"That changes nothing- you might still be hooked to him." Taehyun glanced behind us to look at Beomgyu, who is still busy talking to Yeonjun.

Even if I am, I still could not be seen around him. I heaved a heavy sigh before lightly slamming my head on the wooden desk in front of me…

"What does 'hooked' even mean?" I mumbled in my muffled voice.

"Little Miss Perfect hooked on a bad boy... It surely is absurd." Murmured Taehyun before I could feel his gaze back on me.

I have more things that are important to do, so why does my mind think it's better to stay around Beomgyu? I don't know this feeling, I've never felt it before.

As if he was witnessing the chaos in my head, Taehyun patted my head with his pencil. My one eye peeked at the boy, who was snickering. He raised a brow before turning around to look at Beomgyu.

"Hey, Gyu! There's a party tomorrow at Huening Kai's house! Do you wanna come?" Beomgyu's expression lit up at his words. Almost immediately, he nodded his head.

"You know me so well that I wouldn't say no!" He even let out a laugh... I glared at Taehyun, but he only winked, knowing very well that I will attend the party tomorrow.

Suddenly, I got the urge to punch him.

When our teacher entered the classroom, he looked very surprised to see Beomgyu. He was even about to question Beomgyu. Man, I'm curious why he's here too.

He didn't care a second later and taught anyway.

Just 30 minutes into the discussion, I felt something being thrown at the back of my head. When I reached my hand back, a crumpled piece of paper was caught by my palms.

I turned around to see Beomgyu with a mischievous grin. Now, I know that it's one of his shenanigans. I'm not expecting much from this note...

I opened the crumpled note and what was written made a blush creep into my cheeks.

Hello, little miss perfect. You look very pretty right now, focused or not.

Flustered and shy, I crumpled the paper once more. I threw it in my bag and ignored the soft whimpers that came out of Beomgyu before I heard Yeonjun's soft laughs.

Forgetting about the note even for a few seconds- it wasn't long until he threw another note. This time, it landed right in front of me.

A silent sigh escapes my lips as I open the crumpled (again) note. This time, the note made my ears hotter and possibly, redder.

I should start attending classes... Only to admire you though ;)

I was staring at the note until I felt Taehyun leaning closer to my seat. He reads the note that was being held by my trembling hands. He lets out a snicker before leaning back in his seat.

"You are hooked," he said, without even looking at my embarrassed expression. Once again, I crumpled the note and threw it in my bag... Unlike the other, I cannot forget this one.

Even if that's a good thing for the class attendance, I don't know if it's a good thing for me... After all, I'm feeling this weird tingly feeling whenever I look at Beomgyu.

Testing it for myself, I turned around to look at Beomgyu. He probably noticed me turn around because he winked at me, which caused me to look in front again.

Again... Again! He threw me another one.

Will you attend the party tomorrow? I would like to see you there :) I know that Huening Kai is also your friend, so will you come ;)

Never have I ever wanted to hide so badly. If I go to the party tomorrow (which my parents are very okay with) then how will I even act if Beomgyu is there!?

Well, even if I don’t know how to act if Beomgyu is there, I should be there for Taehyun. Since I never black out at parties, he does kinda depend on me when we’re in one.

Reading Beomgyu's note one more time made me think... It would be nice to go.

The party was very... Lively and definitely full of both highschool and college kids. How did they even get here?

"Y/n!! You made it~," Huening Kai came rushing towards me, already screaming. Taehyun and Soobin followed behind him, they looked very concerned for his well-being.

Confused, I asked; "you- you're already drunk?" He only laughed at my response before blacking out. Just in time, he was caught by Soobin who was in disbelief with him.

"I'm sorry, enjoy the party though!" Soobin drags him to a room which I assume is Kai's bedroom.

Suddenly, Taehyun grabbed my arm. His expression showed that he was very excited and very curious. "I saw Beomgyu earlier, and he seemed to be looking for you!"

I took what he said and processed it in my brain and then gasped. Oh, this is bad- now, I'm definitely regretting coming... Wait- I'm worried again? Is it probably because of the tingly feeling I've been feeling?

Maybe... Definitely... Totally... I'm scared that I'm feeling things for the boy that I shouldn't touch or reach at all.

My time since yesterday has been spent on thinking about these confusing feelings for Beomgyu.

I was about to voice my reply to what Taehyun said until someone shouted my name.

"Oh, there you are, y/n!" I flinched at the sudden voice that kept coming closer. I drifted my gaze away from Taehyun and to the boy who now stood in front of him.

A tight blue long sleeve that hugged his upper figure very well. A glossy leather jacket on top of it and even has leather pants on. His wolf cut was tied in a ponytail too...

Argh- it's this feeling again. Why does he always have to look so good?

A person called his name to greet him and when Beomgyu looked away, I noticed that he had lip tint on. It made his lips even more pink.

That's when I felt the same way as yesterday's morning... He licked his lips, I bit my lip.

Immediately and puzzled, I looked away in a twitch. I could feel Beomgyu's gaze move on to me with confusion, even if I could not see it.

"Y/n, you okay?" Taehyun asked me as I covered half of my face to hide my very red cheeks. I nod my head to answer his confusion. I was fine until a hand was put on top of my head.

I peeked through my fingers and saw Beomgyu who was leaning closer to my face. I backed away a little, my shoulders slouching a bit.

"You don't look okay, are you sick?" Once again, his name was called, and he looked away. Guilty of my confusing feelings and unintentional betrayal to my parents' promise, I stood frozen.

Taehyun probably noticed my uncomfortable state when he suddenly removed Beomgyu's hand on my head.

I know I should stay away from a boy with a bad reputation. After all, he's seen as an immature person in our neighborhood... Even if he's not like that at all.

I know I shouldn't touch him but he just- he just twists my heart… yeah, that's all.

"Beomgyu, if you're going to talk to others, you can leave us alone. I want to hang out with y/n," Taehyun hoped Beomgyu would stay and his hopes came true!

"Oh, no, no! I'm sorry but I want to stay with y/n. Is it okay if we talk by the rooftop pool? I heard the stars are out!" Beomgyu flashes his smile at me.

Having doubts, I turned to Taehyun who showed both thumbs-up. Flashing a soft smile, I nodded.

I could tell Beomgyu was overjoyed when he let out a questioning laugh.

He dragged me to the rooftop's pool, which was surprisingly empty. My eyes widened when I saw the millions of stars in the sky.

Surprised and taken away, I sat on the nearest bench. It was distant from the closed pool but it had the perfect view for stargazing. I heard Beomgyu chuckle before he took a seat beside me.

"Isn't it pretty? I read an article on the internet like 2 days ago that today will be the perfect day for stargazing. I figured that you would like it because you get very high grades in astronomy." He noted, which surprised me.

I turned to Beomgyu who seemed to be staring at the sky... How did he know I get high grades when he rarely comes to our astronomy classes?

Thoughts are being wondered right now. I was beginning to get very confused, but when I looked at the stars, everything was washed away. Everything was taken over by the beauty of the stars.

It feels so good to be out and stargazing after a long time. I glanced at Beomgyu from the side of my eyes and he was busy admiring the stars... He looked like that back then.

He looked like the silly middle school student who would count the stars whenever he could. In the evenings, when I pass by him at the neighborhood's park, I would see him staring at the starry sky and counting the stars.

He looked like the middle school student who kept bothering me with notes in their classes. He would fall asleep or his brain drifts away to space and loses focus.

He looked like the middle school student that I adored... But of course, we're now in highschool. A lot of things changed- obviously, one of them is how he looks and how he acts.

I turned away in pity- if only he never changed then maybe... Wait, I'm being toxic right now, aren't I?

I mean- if he's happier now then it's probably a good thing that he changed. Sure, he was great back then and still great now but with his bad reputation, it's very obvious that adults like my parents consider him as 'immature'.

When I looked at the sky, I felt warm and fuzzy inside. I felt like time has stopped and I cannot hear the loud music from downstairs. I felt like it was just me, Beomgyu, and the stars that we were admiring.

"So how are you doing?" Asked Beomgyu- I jolted at his question. What should I say? Confused? Complicated? Puzzled?

"Are you still being spoiled rotten by your parents?" His laugh was more nervous than happy, more forced than easily. Right- everyone knows me as a little miss perfect who's spoiled to the core by her parents.

"You know, I often ask myself 'what did I do?' because I've gotten this far. I don't know what right or wrong thing I'm doing. I was adopted when I was 2- my parents are nice but they're pressuring…" I feel terrible when I don't do what they say. I feel terrible when I've done something they don't want me to.

Just like right now, I'm spending time with the one boy they told me to stay away from. Will Beomgyu influence me? I won't let that happen. Will my parents be disappointed if they find out? Most likely.

"That's rough… My parents are just wondering what happened to me. I was this innocent child who loved bright hues and then freshman year happened and now… and now I'm like this. Is it surprising?" He asked and since I don't know what to say to that, I only nodded my head.

Then I wondered, "what happened? What made you like this?" I turned to him and he let out a sigh. A nervous chuckle then left his lips.

"Is it rude of me to say that I want attention?" I furrowed my brows at what he said- he wants attention? That's it?

"That's unexpected… you already had attention before you became like this… why would you want more?" At this point, I'm just very curious. Why would he want more when he had enough?

Beomgyu let out a sigh before he turned to look at me. His eyes were basically shimmering because of the moonlight that shone upon us both. His 'bad boy' look disappeared and the same look as middle school Beomgyu was plastered on his face.

"I want a certain someone's attention, that's why. I don't care about others' attention- all I want is theirs…" He frowned and looked back at the stars.

Out of disappointment and thoughts that he would like someone else, I looked away.

Neither of us dared to speak after that. The loud music from downstairs continued, and the excited screams of the people echoed in the whole place.

Then I ask myself; why am I still here? Why am I still with him? Why am I staying here when I'm not supposed to be with him?

Out of confusion and the unknown feelings swimming around my head, I stood up. Beomgyu's gaze drifted to me, and I could tell that he looked confused. I only avoided his gaze. I don’t feel like staying here anymore.

"Where are you going?” Asked Beomgyu while I only made my way to the doorway of the rooftop. I’m only getting more confused each second I am with him. I don’t know these feelings, so I don’t know if I should keep finding out what it is or stray away from it.

“I’m going back to Taehyun- I can’t stay here... I don’t want to stay here.” I’m not sure of my feelings right now, so all I could do is run away from it. Although, I know that I have to face it soon to know.

Silently, Beomgyu followed me. I walked past countless people- either drunk or blacked out. I looked for Taehyun, slightly panicking when Beomgyu was still behind me. When I saw Taehyun, I jolted towards him. I just left Beomgyu standing there. I just want to get away.

I looked at Taehyun who seemed to be in disbelief with Kai, who is blacked out on Soobin’s shoulder. Also, I noticed that Taehyun's head was swaying back and forth.

I was about to head in their direction in a shriveled state, until Yeonjun ran up to them. The older started laughing at Soobin and Taehyun, who were taking care of the younger.

“Oh, y/n!” Taehyun waved when he saw me. He looked more enthusiastic than seconds before. His smile was wider and I could tell he was letting out laughs.

I felt my lips creep into a smile. Soobin and Yeonjun also waved at me, but the moment I saw Yeonjun’s face lit up, I knew Beomgyu was behind me.

I let out a heavy sigh- am I really getting this into my head? What am I even running away from?

I was shocked when Beomgyu ran by me and ran to Yeonjun. His laughs were loud. Even I could hear it from my spot, which was distant from them. His voice echoed in my head- I really need to stop.

Walking up to them, my steps felt heavy. I felt like I was walking with my ankles chained up to weights that I cannot carry. The closer I got to them, I forced a smile. “Here you guys are!”

“Wow! Little Miss Perfect looks like she’s having fun.” Yeonjun wraps an arm around my shoulder. The only response I let out was another forced chuckle. Yeonjun starts asking me questions until I overheard Soobin’s question to Beomgyu.

“How was stargazing with her?” As much as I want to hear Beomgyu's answer, his words were muffled when the song changed into a louder one. Suddenly, I heard Soobin panicking for the next second.

“Yah! Kang Taehyun!” When I turned to Taehyun, he was already blacked out. I removed Yeonjun’s arm around my shoulders and rushed to the other. When I leaned closer to Taehyun, he reeked of alcohol.

"I shouldn't have left you alone. I know you'll get drunk." I kept my distance away from his lips where the alcohol stink was coming from.

"I think it's better to go home. Taehyun looks exhausted, like he really blacked out. He partied to the max earlier too." Yeonjun laughed at the memory that's now stuck in his head.

Soobin stood up, Hyuka's arm around his shoulder. "I'll take Kai to his room as well. You both go home safely." He left with Kai.

I was about to speak to Yeonjun until Taehyun wrapped an arm around me; "why do you keep running away?"

My eyes widened at his words. Yeonjun and Beomgyu looked shocked as well, so I assume they heard what Taehyun said. Immediately, I placed my hand on Taehyun's mouth.

"We'll get going now! See you guys at school! Bye!" Soon, I dragged Taehyun out of that party and into my car.

I shut the door loudly, it's nothing compared to the loud music playing in Kai's mansion. I entered the driver's seat and noticed that Taehyun was awake, not moving from his position, though.

"Do you know?" He spoke as I started the engine.

"Know what?" His gaze was going back and forth between me and the window.

"Your feelings? It's quite obvious that you have feelings for Beomgyu. It's also quite obvious that you're running away from it." My grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"For you, that is. I don't know these feelings, Taehyun. I don't understand them because I genuinely don't know. If that's what you think, alright. I think otherwise." I started driving to his home.

The radio was playing whilst I was driving. Taehyun was staring out of the window, and the aroma of alcohol was only spreading in the car.

"As much as I love you as a big sister and I support your decisions… you can't fall off your throne." He spoke again. I kept my eyes on the road.

"That is unless you're ready to take risks… and a lot of them."

School day again… yay.

It's been days after the party, everything… everything still seemed the same.

Beomgyu was skipping class again. The student council is busy planning for the school event before spring break. My parents still acted the same as well.

The day started off alright coming to school with no problem, a little student council meeting, classes began, and now it's lunch break.

I flinched when I heard a slam beside my locker. I peeked and saw Taehyun, who was leaning on the lockers. "What's wrong with you?"

He sighed at my question, and when he lifted his head, his eyes widened. I stared at him with a puzzled expression- what is he looking at? I turned to where he was looking and I felt my eyes widened as well.

Beomgyu stood there; his uniform was fixed properly. His hair was still styled in a ponytail, but he looked more appropriate for school. Although, he has a leather jacket hanging from his arm.

He noticed me staring at him, and suddenly he smiled. At that moment, Yeonjun ran up to him and started to drag him. They walked past us, both laughing.

It's this intoxicated feeling again… I kneeled to the floor- my hand gripped on the uniform where my heart was. I could feel my heartbeat increasing and my face getting hotter.

"You're in love," Taehyun murmured, his arms crossed, and his gaze stuck to the boys who were disappearing from our sight.

I snickered, "love is something I don't even know."

"That's why you're so confused about it." Taehyun kneeled beside me. He caressed my hair. I turned to him with a concerned expression on my face.

"I'm scared, Taehyun- I know that I shouldn't get close to him but he- he twists my heart so much… I don't know this intoxicating feeling but once it began, it never stopped." Taehyun pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I guess, the only way we find out is to encounter it." He softly, very softly, slapped my cheeks. He cackled into a fit of laughter before helping me get on my feet.

"I have a plan, but will you be okay with it?"

"Depends on what your plan is." His gentle smile turned into a mischievous smirk. A minute later, he closed our lockers and ran to our classroom.

I tried to get answers out of him while we ran but all he gave me is; "you'll see."

He opened the classroom door, and my gaze immediately went to the seats of Beomgyu and Yeonjun. They're- they are both there. They were talking, laughing, whispering about things until they saw us walking to our seats.

"Hey, do you guys want to stay over at y/n's place? She said that it's okay." My eyes widened at Taehyun's words.

"Oh, really!?" Yeonjun turned to me with a shocked expression- one that had his beaming eyes. I glanced at Beomgyu, who looked surprised as well. I flinched when I felt Taehyun slap my hand behind his back.

"oW- yeah! It's- uh, it's okay." My brain starts to drift away from this world and into another universe.

"That's cool! When will it be?" A wide grin appears on Beomgyu's lips. Again… Again, it's this feeling again.

"Uhh-"

"Tomorrow! It will be tomorrow! It is Friday after all! Soobin and Kai will be coming as well!" Taehyun said, in my place. I feel like crawling into a hole- I'm really risking it for some feeling that I don't understand. A feeling of love that I don't know.

This is absurd- very absurd!

I was cleaning up my bedroom until I heard my house's doorbell ring. Immediately, I dropped my books on my desk and rushed to the front door.

My adrenaline rushed through me when I opened the door. All the boys greeted me excitedly.

"Woah! I didn't know you're loaded! You're just like Kai!" Soobin said when he looked around the modern interior of my place. I let out a defeated chuckle, and when I was about to close the window, Beomgyu still stood in front of me.

"Are you okay? You look very red right now?" He placed his palm against my fever whilst I hung my head low. My ears were getting hotter, I could feel it.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." Escaped my lips. I yanked his hand away and shut the door. I took a deep breath, gulped the lump in my throat, and turned back to him with a forced smile.

"The others are probably waiting in the living room. Shall we go?" I was surprised with myself when my forced smile got wider and more genuine.

For the first time, from a clearer angle, I saw Beomgyu's smile. Not in the dark, not as a bad boy, but as him. The smile that I first noticed when we first met.

He nodded his head and let me guide him to the living room.

The other boys were already goofing around. Snacks laid on the coffee table in front of them as Taehyun turned on the tv.

"You seemed so comfortable here, Taehyun!" Yeonjun laid his head on top of Soobin's lap. Beomgyu walked past me to sit beside Kai, who was already eating.

"I've been here a couple of times. Let me tell you, y/n'a parents love me!" I laughed before sitting beside Beomgyu on the floor.

I don't know why but I feel nostalgic. I feel like we're back in middle school years where we would sit at the park, staring at the empty playground in front of us in silent comfort.

The night was so exciting! Everyone stayed in my room. We all laughed, drank, and ordered pizza. Extra blankets and pillows are laid on the floor where some of them will sleep in.

Hours sped like seconds. It was all enjoyable; the atmosphere was full of fits of laughter and all kinds of jokes, either boring or dirty.

I drank the last drop of my beer while sitting on the floor by the footrest of my bed. I stared into the blank wall in front of me whilst I debated what to do next.

Beomgyu comes into my head again! His smirks were so enticing. His laughs were so nice to listen to. His voice was so soft and delicate that it felt like I would be the one shattered soon.

I was so into my thoughts that I didn't feel someone behind me until they blew into my ear. I jumped from my seat. My hand covered my ear as I checked who did that.

My heart started aching again. My brain starts to go while Beomgyu tries to contain his laughs. The others are asleep and a laugh could wake them up.

"Can you pass me that beer?" He pointed at the opened beer can with a straw. With no other thoughts, I gave it to him. He sat on the bed while I continued sitting on the floor.

He took a sip of his beer and I bit my lip. Immediately, I looked away in a panic. My hand made its way to cover my lips.

"Hey, wanna hear a joke?" He asked, while I took a sip of water that was already beside me. I nodded, still drinking the water.

"What do cows read in the morning? A moospaper." He whispered- I nearly choked. I tried to contain my laughter, which was a failure. It was soft, though, so I didn't really wake the others up. Beomgyu also laughed at my attempt.

Seconds later, silence engulfed us. I was spacing out again until I felt Beomgyu playing with my hair. I did feel a pattern, so he could be braiding it.

It feels so warm… my eyes were getting sloppier every time he gently pulled my hair. For the first time, I'm blacking out and it's because of Choi Beomgyu.

When Beomgyu let go of my hair, I turned around to look at him. He looked surprised by my sudden action, but was even more surprised when I kissed him.

His lips were warm and soft. My brain starts to leave again- this feels good but also so wrong.

Although, I felt my entire world crumble into millions when I heard the door open. We both turned our heads toward the door and were bewildered when I saw my parents.

Immediately, they both looked disappointed in me. I pushed Beomgyu far from me. My parents looked in disbelief before they both walked away from the door.

"M-mom-," I chased after them into the living room.

When I made it there, they both looked angry… all the guilt and betrayal flooded my mind.

"What were you doing with him!? Why were you kissing him!?" my dad shouted to the top of his voice. I jumped at his loud outburst.

"I-I don't know- I don't know why I did that." He looked even angrier.

My mom faced me, "you like him, don't you? Why else would you kiss him? Why would you- why would you like someone like him!?" Mother screamed and I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

"There's nothing there, y/n. You are just confused- you don't like him. He never liked you, that's how boys like him act in love!" Mom placed her hands on my shoulder. I only looked down- my tears finally started to fall.

"Deny the truth, it's easier, y/n. Believe your mother when she says there's nothing there. You're just confused, believe her." Father sat down, his fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"It's never worth it when it comes to boys like him. Remember, be perfect- it's not worth it. Now, go back to your room. Rest well and by tomorrow morning, I don't want to see Choi Beomgyu in our house."

With that, they both left to head to their room. I was left there in the living room- crying and putting myself into a pool of pity.

I feel embarrassed and such a disappointment. I did… I betrayed them and went against their words for a feeling that could've been mistaken as confusion.

I messed up…

Soon, my cries were filled with faint laugh. I could hear footsteps coming into the living room, but I didn't care.

I just- I failed my parents by doing one thing they told me not to do. I doubted them; I really am not perfect. I disappointed them; I humiliated myself.

"Y/n…?" I heard Taehyun's voice. Immediately, I wiped my tears and put on a fake smile.

My lips were quivering, "I'm sorry… I-I'm so sorry… I messed- messed up- I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down my face and whenever I wiped them away, they just kept falling.

Taehyun made his way towards me and engulfed me in a tight embrace. He repeatedly patted my back as his comfort, and I've never felt so grateful for him.

This day… I could never forget it.

"I'm sorry… I should leave- people don't want me here." I heard Beomgyu say. I heard shifting and minutes later, the door was shut.

At that point, I just broke. I broke into a fit of sobs and tears. I gripped onto Taehyun's hoodie while he held me tight.

And today may be my last day as Little Miss Perfect…

Beomgyu would notice y/n running away from him. The ashamed expression on her face never failed to make Beomgyu drown in misery.

Taehyun tries talking to both sides but whenever he does Beomgyu pushes him away and y/n becomes quiet. It hurt Taehyun to see his two friends like that.

The drastic change that Taehyun noticed was y/n's gloominess. Her smile was faker, she's frowning more than smiling like before. He couldn't tease her with a fear that she could break down into a fit of tears again.

As for Beomgyu, he's back to skipping classes again. He's back to his old style again, except he's gotten colder.

Now, Yeonjun, Kai, Soobin, and Taehyun were helping set the decorations in the hallways of their school. Their school event for spring break is days away, so the student council needed extra hands for help.

"Dude, this is painful." Kai drank his chocolate milk while watching y/n set up the decorations for the upcoming school event. They could see Beomgyu staring at her from afar.

Yeonjun's glance kept going back and forth between Beomgyu who's watching and y/n who's distracted. "Please, someone help them."

"No one can help them… you know how y/n is," Soobin braided the long strips of confetti before putting them into a box full of other braided confetti.

"I don't know how y/n is. I think she lets others do things for her as a joke." Yeonjun remembers the day when he had to do errands for her when he made a terrible joke.

"This isn't a joke though- they both like each other." Kai squinted his eyes while glancing at them two.

"Yeah? Tell that to y/n- her parents literally said she's just confused! You know the last thing she wants is to 'betray' them again." Said Soobin as he finished braiding the strips and taped the box shut.

While the three were talking, Taehyun was in deep thoughts. His mind kept drifting to a river of how Beomgyu and y/n can make up. He couldn't care less about the school event, he cares more about his friends.

He's aware of her feelings for Beomgyu, even if she herself kept denying them.

Taehyun stared at Beomgyu; hundreds of closed opportunities fell down the waterfall at the end of his river of thoughts.

Suddenly, one idea popped up.

He clasped his palms together loudly, loud enough that it echoed in the auditorium. The funny bit is that he didn't even feel sorry, even if he shocked the others.

"Choi Beomgyu!" Shouted Taehyun. Beomgyu jumped out of his trance and made his way to them. Taehyun didn't miss y/n's confused expression when he called Beomgyu over.

Taehyun placed a hand on Beomgyu's shoulder, which made the older flinch. "I have an idea. Will you go along with it?"

"That depends what idea you're thinking." Deja Vu hit Taehyun like a truck. The certain moment made him remember things that made him frowned.

Although, he is determined.

"Firstly, though, you gotta let go of this… 'bad boy' look. Second, you gotta act as a friend and not a bystander. So, I'm going to ask again; will you go along with it?" Beomgyu stared into Taehyun's stare. It felt like his first meeting with him all over again.

"Will it get me close to y/n again?" Beomgyu's voice was shaken up. He wanted this- he wanted her. He has always wanted her attention. "It will! Probably will- it might even change the perspective of her parents."

Beomgyu glanced at the other boys, who expected his answer. He heaves a sigh before he nods his head.

Taehyun claps in bliss- the school event could become his second priority. All he wants is y/n and Beomgyu on good terms again.

Possibly, date too…

᯽ 4 days before the school event, 7:40 am

It's hard for my mind to drift away from thoughts of Beomgyu. Ever since we became closer, he keeps popping into my head.

I try so hard to please my parents again. As long as I forget about Beomgyu- not spend time with him, it will be all okay… it will all be okay. It will not be oka-

"Hey, little miss perfect!" My shoulders stiffened when I heard the one voice I should stray away from.

I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this. I tried hard not to turn around, but then I heard Beomgyu let out a chuckle.

"Little Miss Perfect? Hello??? I want to ask for a permission slip." My eyes widened when those words came out of his mouth. I turned around, only to be shocked by him.

He's now wearing the proper uniform- the complete proper uniform. From the ironed pants to having the necktie around his folded blouse collars. His hair was also properly styled- what happened to him?

"Hello? Y/n?" I snapped out of my trance and shook my head. I tilted my head and asked him to repeat his question.

He laughs. "I want to ask for a permission slip. I heard students can volunteer to stay late at school to help prepare for the school event."

I gasped, still in shock. Now, he wants to help? I'm very confused-

"I know it's shocking to see me like this but… but can I just have one?" He reached his hand out to me. I looked around my surroundings before taking a permission slip from my bag.

"Uhh- j-just have this signed by uhhh- your teachers! I'll a-alert the council about y-you." CRAP- I keep stuttering.

I knew he wouldn't let this go, especially how many times I kept looking at his face. Also, he keeps chuckling at my state. Is there something on my face?

"Thank you for the slip. I'll see you around, y/n." He waved before running away. I couldn't even say anything else, but who cares- I couldn't even say a single sentence properly.

Now he has me wondering… Why did he suddenly change his look again? Did he finally get the person's attention? Maybe that's why he's back to his old self.

Old self… old self! He reminds me of middle school Beomgyu. Even his bag is the same shade as his bag from middle school. Wait- why do I remember this? How do I remember this?

I shook my head and tried to head my way to where I'm supposed to be. I wasn't looking forward since my head was hung low; busy wondering about Beomgyu.

He looks fine- he doesn't look bothered about… last time…

A heavy sigh escaped my mouth as my trip back to the classroom needed to be decorated.

᯽ 4:28 pm

When I entered the auditorium, students were already decorating. I saw Taehyun with the others and… Beomgyu? He actually came…

I shook my thoughts away and went back to work. I told the students what needed to be done and what is needed to make the decorations.

The smell of paint also reeked in the whole auditorium. I was crossing out finished works in my checklist until someone called my name.

"Y/n! Can you come here a bit?" Shouted Soobin. Me thinking it was urgent, rushed to them.

"Beomgyu needs help with uhh- that." With a bothered expression, he pointed at Beomgyu. I noticed the paper folded countless times, so I assumed he was making a paper fan.

"That's literally one of the easiest… whatever." I sat beside him. I grabbed a new colored paper and started teaching him.

He genuinely looks confused about how to do it. Honestly, it reminds me of a child. "Fold it back and forth. Once you have 2 long ones, you glue them like a circle!"

I showed him the circular paper fan, and he cooed. With the hot glue, I glued the string to the back side of the fan… only to accidentally burn myself.

"Ow!" Instantly, I let go of the fan. I noticed that Beomgyu also let go of his fan. His hand held mine as he checked the burnt area.

His fingers caressed him. Seconds later, he was blowing on it to cool it.

The intoxicated feeling is coming back… but it doesn't feel as terrible. It doesn't feel confusing or intoxicated- it just feels warm and fuzzy.

Then it hit me; it's still Choi Beomgyu. I yanked my hand away from his whilst avoiding his gaze. What is wrong with me again?

"I- I'm sorry… hope you got the paper fan thing."

Nervous and afraid, I walked away like a coward who's finally realized that she's in love with him.

᯽4 days before the school event, 6:50 am

— Beomgyu

On his way to school, he had to walk past y/n's home. He knew how much the adults, especially the parents of his neighborhood, disliked him.

He has gone too far with the whole bad boy thing just for her attention, y/n's attention.

Now, he's gone back to the normal route. He definitely hopes that y/n will still pay attention to him, even after all that chaos that happened.

Beomgyu halted his steps when he's in front of her house. He stared at the gates until they opened. He was surprised to see her parents come out just on their own… which means y/n is already in school.

Beomgyu straightens his posture. He knows first impressions didn't go well and that they know he kissed her- well; she kissed him. It's worth the try though.

If he wants them to understand his position, then he will make them understand. "Good morning, Mr and Mrs l/n." They both looked shocked by Beomgyu.

Her father's eyes that went from his head to toe didn't go unnoticed by him. Her mother did the same, only that she had a softer look.

"Before you speak, I would like to apologize. I don't want to explain my side of the story of what happened days ago. However, I would like to apologize for how I acted these past years." Beomgyu had his head hung low as an apology.

He couldn't see it, he couldn't tell if her parents were angry or taken back by his apology. The parents themselves didn't know how to react to his apology, since they were confused.

"What are you talking about?" Her mother asked, but before her father could stop her, she stopped him from speaking.

With his head still hung low, "I became like this because I thought it's a way to get your daughter's attention. I thought that if I put on this mask, I would be seen as the 'bad boy' of the school. I would cause trouble to get in trouble, just to have time spent with y/n. I would ask for excuse slips to skip school, just to talk to her. I thought that if I'm seen as an immature person, I could get her attention. She’s just so busy with the student council that I thought there was no other way."

Beomgyu raised his head, and finally, he saw the confused expressions on their faces. Beomgyu only had a soft smile though..

"I would like to apologize if you saw me as a bad person who's only using your daughter. I don't want that at all. I want to be closer to her, to be friends with her, maybe even more than that. I- I've been wanting to be friends with her ever since our short interactions back in middle school." Because of the silence, he was getting nervous.

He thought he messed up when her mother walked up to him but she only placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You know, we won't understand you immediately, right?" She raised a brow, and Beomgyu nodded.

He held her hand gently since he didn't want to anger them. He placed it on her side.

"I don't think you can believe me either, but that's all I want to say. Anyway, to be very realistic and not like in those movies, I don't expect you to accept or understand me immediately. I just want you to know that I have no bad intentions with your daughter." At that moment, Beomgyu's phone rang.

When he checked the caller ID, it was Taehyun. He figured the younger is most likely going to tell him what to do.

"I'm sorry, I should go- I don't want to be late for school. Have a safe and good day at work, Mr and Mrs l/n." Leaving with an accepting smile, Beomgyu walks to school.

He doesn't have an idea if he did the right or wrong thing, but his chest felt lighter. Now, all he has to solve is his problem with y/n.

He's sure that y/n is probably busy with trying to impress her parents now to remove that ashamed feeling of hers. He could help with that…

He's cleared the misunderstanding of himself with her parents. He has made it clear that he never had bad intentions. Now, all that's in his head is y/n.

᯽ 5:00 pm

Beomgyu closed his locker. A sigh escaped his lips. He still doesn't have an idea on how to help y/n feel better.

To be very honest, I don't know how to make her feel less embarrassed about things. I don't know what to do. That feeling of hers from the slumber party is probably permanent.

It surely cannot be helped… should I start slow? I don't want to rush her…

"How about service?" I screamed in shock at the sudden voice behind me. I turned around in an instant and was relieved to see Kai and Taehyun.

Other than being shocked, I let his words process in my head. "Service? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know! Help y/n do this and that, especially since she's head of the council. Each student council member will be in different places of the school, it's most likely y/n needs help, especially with carrying things. She's done that last year and let me tell you, she ripped a muscle." Kai and Beomgyu showed a cringed expression.

Beomgyu thinks of the outcomes. He could be rejected for helping or she'll have no choice and let him stay…

"Okay! I'll start tomorrow!"

᯽ Day of the school event, 6:30 am

Everyone was excited, to say the least! Today is the last day before spring break! Before 2 weeks without school!

Now, I have to be honest though- everything went well with the decorating and others. Although, I did find it suspicious how Beomgyu was just following me around.

He was helping me carry boxes, hanging things in places where I couldn't reach- kinda like an errand boy.

I didn't mind though, since I obviously needed help with the preparation. I also didn't mind since Beomgyu was so giggly about so many things. He's so energetic and pretty funny.

I do feel a tad guilty because I was being cold and distant with him, even if he had the intention of helping me.

30 minutes- 30 minutes before the event starts. Students were rushing from classroom to classroom and booth to booth. Everyone was in a hurry to get into their places for the event.

It's kinda like a school festival.

Everything was so well done and I'm just here; still wondering how to get everything back to normal.

I don't know what happened but my parents are back to their usual selves too. They are no longer angry or disappointed but just normal?

It's been a week since the slumber party and I haven't had a proper conversation with Beomgyu. Even if we're together during preparations, we're busy with it. Even if he tries to start a conversation, I just end it quickly.

I can't say that I've fallen off my throne because I'm not sure. Have I fallen off? Have I learned what love is?

These feelings of love made me wonder if it's the real thing or not. How will I know if I haven't experienced it even? How will I know if I don't even talk about it?

I let the breeze blow through my hair as I stood still on the school's rooftop. I was observing the students who were still in a hurry.

"Y/n? Are you here?" At this point, I didn't bother. I knew it was Beomgyu just from the voice. My gaze stayed on the students who were stories below us.

"Hey, the others are looking for you-,"

"Why did you suddenly change your look again?" Abruptly, it came out of my mouth. I felt Beomgyu standing beside me, while my gaze never drifted away.

"Well, I feel like it was no longer right of me to continue my demeanor. I became friends with the person I wanted to be friends with. I don't want to trouble them further too." I faced Beomgyu, whose gaze was stuck on the people down below.

I cleared my throat. "And who is this person?" That moment- that second, Beomgyu turned to me.

The gentlest smile I've ever seen on his face. His long hair was also blown by the breeze which covered his eyes. I contain my laughter a bit.

"It's you- I've always wanted your attention. I've always wanted to be friends with you but you're always so busy with student council stuff and being perfect. You're such a good person, so I've always wanted to be closer." I noticed his cheeks getting redder by the second.

"When I see you with Taehyun, I envy how good friends you are. I came up with this 'bad boy' look to catch your attention. To cause trouble and get your attention. Ask for excuse slips and skip classes to get your attention! Everything I've done with this demeanor is to get your attention." Suddenly, he held my hands.

I- I'm bewildered. I didn't expect this at all. I did not expect this to happen!

"I'm so sorry if you ever felt humiliated and embarrassed because of me. I know that I probably cannot be forgiven immediately but I'm willing to be your friend if you would like to." I feel like crying now…

Once again, the warm and fuzzy feeling of love is coming back.

I gripped his hand tightly. "of course, you'll continue being my friend… maybe, even more than that but I don't want to rush things… that is you feel the same."

At my words and shy smirk, Beomgyu laughed. He patted my head before he interlocked our fingers together.

"Sure, I gladly accept." We both threw a fit of laughter.

Maybe Little Miss Perfect didn't fall off her throne at all.

She just helped another throne be made because of something that took her time to understand.

She's worth it, Little Miss Perfect is worth it of love. I'm worthy of love, either platonic or romantic.

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