#this entire composition just blows me away

[slytherinshua]

DOODLES

genre. fluff. warnings. kissing. pairing. so mun x fem!reader. wc. 900.

“No peeking!” So Mun scolds, holding his sketchbook even tighter to his chest to make sure there was no way you would be able to glance at his sketch. You huff in defeat and go back to your own drawing which is looking more and more lopsided as you keep trying to capture Mun’s perfectly sharp jawline and fail.

“I’m butchering your handsome face, just so you know.” You mumble, grabbing your eraser for the hundredth time. At this point the drawing looked more smudged than legible and you were close to giving up.

“Good thing you have the real deal right here, then.” Mun replies smoothly, and you glare at him from over your sketchbook making him giggle. 

You wonder how he hasn’t even touched his eraser once as you watch him still making little details on his drawing with ease. You know he’s been drawing his whole life and his drawing skills are on par with his fighting skills, but you know he hasn’t had much time to draw apart from composition sketches. You were glad you suggested doing this doodling session with him. It was cosy and relaxing and definitely what you both needed to get your mind off the stress of everything. 

You’ve never had anyone draw you before, but you’re glad the first one to do it is your boyfriend. He’s only been drawing for 10 minutes, but you’re starting to get a little impatient to see the results, and so you attempt at sneaking a peek again.

“I said no peeking.” He stops you without even looking, catching your hand in midair before it can reach his sketchbook. 

“When will you be done with it?” You ask, and So Mun hums in response. “Baby.” You whine.

“I’m almost done.” He looks up to smile at you before resuming his pencilling. “Are you done yours?”

“I guess… It’s not getting any better so I decided to just leave it.”

“Can I see?” Mun peers over to take a glance and you hand him the open sketchbook. “Aww, you added a heart.” He smiles widely and you swear you can practically see his eyes sparkle.

“It’s so bad, though.” You mutter, cringing at the way you had messed up his proportions. 

“I think it’s cute.” Mun smiles again.

“I get to see yours now, right?” 

He nods and hands you the sketchbook finally, and your eyes land on the drawing. Your breath is quite literally taken away and you spend the first few minutes just staring at it, taking in every detail, every stroke of pencil. And a warm sense of comfort comes with how you just know that every mark of that pencil was created with so much love behind it. You can feel it.

“So…?” So Mun asks expectantly, blinking at you.

You open your mouth to give him a response, but then pause as the wind slightly blows the page of the sketchbook, giving you a peek of more drawings on the previous page. Curiosity takes over and you flip it, revealing an entire spread of you.

There’s a small drawing of you sipping a bubble tea, and you recognize the exact day it’s from given your outfit. You had stolen So Mun’s leather jacket on your lunch date that day, and he had even drawn in the little hair clip that you had worn.

Looking a little lower on the page were countless more drawings. One of you blowing a kiss, you with a kitten, several of you just smiling, and even one of you sleeping which you immediately suspected he had drawn while you actually had fallen asleep.

“Were you ever going to show me these?” You ask, blinking back tears because they’re all so beautiful and you adore each and every one of them.

Mun panics, “I- I wasn’t not going to show these to you?” His response sounds like he’s questioning the fact himself and you tsk quietly, flipping over to the next page only to find even more drawings.

“How many times have you drawn me without my knowledge?” You question, utterly bewildered at just how many drawings there are. With every page you flip, there are more, and soon you discover that the entire sketchbook is filled with just you. 

“If you weren’t my boyfriend this would be so creepy, you know?”

“Do you think it’s creepy?” Mun asks.

“No, it’s probably the cutest shit anyone has ever done for me.” You say in a complaining tone which makes So Mun laugh. You tackle him in a hug, kissing his cheek as many times as you can before he pulls you off of him in a fit of giggles. 

“I’m glad you like them because to be honest it’s become a stress reliever to draw you.” Mun admits, melting your heart easily.

“You’d better show me next time, or I’m going to go snooping through your stuff just to find your sketchbook.” You threaten and So Mun nods with a smile before reaching over to kiss you. 

He always kissed you softly, like you would break if he put too much pressure into it. Now was no different as his plush lips moved against yours, lifting up into a smile when you pull away. And his smile is so infectious and filled with so much love that you can’t help but to smile back.

↳ k-drama taglist: @yeonjuns-redhair,, @wolfmoonmusic,, @cha3w0n-hearts (abp & tuc only),, @tempobaekh (tuc only)

#﹒fics 𓈃 ⵌ #the uncanny counter #so mun #uncanny counter #the uncanny counter fic #the uncanny counter fluff #uncanny counter fic #uncanny counter fluff #so mun fic #so mun fluff #so mun x reader #kdrama fic #kdrama fluff #jo byeong gyu #jo byeong gyu fic #jo byeong gyu fluff

[cookienha]

☆ the old piano in the corner of the dusty room

¦ barista!matthew x pianist!gn!reader, angst

¦ warnings: mentions of death and trauma

¦ a/n: -

The old piano in the corner of my dusty room remained silent. Its' keys, once vibrant with music, had fallen into disuse after a haunting incident that scarred me deeply — an event that shattered my perception on people.

A close friend, once trusted and cherished, intentionally sabotaged the piano performance. In an act of betrayal and perhaps jealousy, the piano strings were tampered with and the sheet music was subtly altered, and as I played during the recital which I'd considered crucial, the instrument produced dissonant and jarring notes, leading to a cacophony that marred the entire performance.

The intentional sabotage was a devastating blow, not just to my musical ability but also to my confidence and trust in those around me.

It created a profound sense of humiliation and vulnerability, the hushed murmurs and judgmental glances added fuel to the fire.

The final blow? It was when my own family started doubting my abilities, speculating the sudden decline in my so-called talent.

It truly shaped me into someone different. The piano, once a source of solace, became a haunting reminder of that painful night.

Following that incident, I decided to seek refuge in a small, quaint coffee shop. It became the place where he entered my life. It was a delightful coincidence, really.

I was engrossed in a book, enjoying the solitude, when a sudden collision disrupted the quiet surroundings.

Matthew (as his name tag suggested), with his barista apron and a genuine apologetic smile, had bumped into me, the contents of my bag spilled onto the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, bending down to help gather my scattered belongings. As we picked up books and loose papers, he continuously muttered apologies in which I dismissed. He insisted on making it up to me with a cup of coffee, though I originally refused the offer.

Matthew's warm eyes held a sincerity that turned a simple mishap into a serendipitous encounter. I couldn't refuse.

That was the moment when the coffee shop became the canvas where our connection unfolded.

From that moment, the unexpected encounter would be the prelude to a story filled with daily shared laughters, comforting conversations, and a love that would weather the storms yet to come. He became the haven from the painful notes of that forsaken piano.

Our initial meeting was serendipitous, marked by a simple exchange of smiles and a shared appreciation for art. Matthew's eyes sparkled with genuine interest as we spoke about our favorite things, and our laughter resonated in that cozy corner of the coffee shop.

As our connection deepened, Matthew, with his caring nature, gradually unearthed the untold story behind my silent piano.

"There's a story in every key," he would say, in a voice so soothing it lifted my problems away, gently encouraging me to revisit the instrument that held so much pain.

We explored the dusty memories of melodies and missed notes. "You don't have to face the past alone," He reassured.

His presence alone was a balm to my wounded soul, a comforting refuge as we stuck through thick and thin. Yet, unexpectedly, tragedy struck, casting a profound shadow over the solace he once provided.

Was it really a tragedy or was it a lingering curse casted upon me?

On one somber evening, I received a call that instantly shattered my world. Matthew, on his way home, was involved in a car accident.

It left me grappling with a grief I had never known. Was my past not enough to haunt me that the history of heartbreak had to unfold itself right infront of me again?

Matthew's sudden passing was like a melody abruptly cut off, leaving an unfinished symphony echoing in the chambers of my heart — a composition of love silenced, notes that lingered in the hollow spaces, yearning to be resolved but forever suspended in the haunting silence of grief.

In the quiet aftermath, the piano, once a silent witness, stood as a painful reminder of both the past and the love that slipped away. I could no longer bear the weight of the keys that once brought joy to my life.

The old piano in the corner of my dusty room remained silent, mirroring the desolation etched into my shattered heart.

#zb1 imagines #zb1 matthew #seok matthew #zerobaseone matthew #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 #zb1 angst #matthew x reader #seok matthew x reader #zb1 matthew x reader

[chuuyadelune]

now that i have recovered from the emotional shock of seeing *that* akutagawa scene from chapter 88 animated in HD 4K (i thought i’d have another week to emotionally prepare myself LMAO), i just wanna be a little bit of a nerd and say that i really liked the cinematography/composition this episode.

in particular, i really enjoyed the anime’s decision to draw visual parallels between this fight and previous fights (in particular, the fight against francis, which is important because it is the first time they worked together).

after all, this fight is the culmination of everything they’ve done together. from the combining of their abilities, coming to an understanding with each other, realising the potential of beast-beneath the moonlight-rashoumon… bringing back similar shots that were used in previous fights is SUPER effective at highlighting the parallels and how far they’ve come, in my humble opinion.

here are a few things i noticed:

- first of all, both of them activating their abilities one after another is an explicit nod to S2’s fight;

- the confrontation/conversation in the hallway from S2 (to an extent! they’re on the same sides, which caught my eye);

- akutagawa blowing up the engine room on the ship, and kyouka doing the same during the first fight between him and atsushi (S1);

- and a similar angle being used for black tiger claws / koukko zessou as a nod to the fight in the S3 finale.

the parallels — though maybe less explicit, *are* still there in the manga? like, the entire “structure” of the fight so to speak is very similar to the francis fight in S2 — akutagawa finding atsushi, taking place on a(n air)ship, breaking away from the fight to strategise before confronting the final boss (then, francis, and now, fukuchi) is undeniably a nod to that fight? i love that this is given its due in the anime as well.

another thing about the cinematography this episode i loved was them using the clock as being the indicator of fukuchi’s fuckass space-time sword doing its thing. that was a really nice touch, in my opinion; the cuts in between were jarring and disorienting and really helped put us into sskk’s shoes.

and as for the background design alongside the clock itself — there were a couple of things about them i enjoyed:

- the number of floors / levels of the ship in the back (5, as a nod to the five ways an angel decays, the DOA)

- the blue of the clock is meant to be reminiscent of fukuchi’s sword, i’d argue, with the way both of them pops out of the sunset/orangey-red lighting

- the clock’s design being super ornate and gold plated reminds me a *bit* of a tabernacle (where they keep unused eucharist in a church) — and thus brings up connotations of sacrifice. that white bridge-thing beneath the clock as well reminds me a lot of an altar, too (see the image above the last to see what exactly i’m referring to, because image limit)

okay, yeah, that one might be a bit of a stretch, sure. but its placement as being above them, combined with the two tables/boxes to the left and right of the ship’s bow (which looks very much like a cross, btw) gives it a distinctly religious, altar-kinda feel, i’d argue. and crosses have been used in S4 as symbolism as well!

(tbh, there could even be a bit more imagery i’m missing, because — the angels of the DOA refers specifically to the buddhist conception of an angel. i’m not too familiar with buddhist imagery, but i thought that this was worth pointing out regardless!)

the last thing i want to say is that the red and blue symbolism went CRAZY this episode. i don’t have much else to say because it was super obvious — they even reused the same “black tiger claws” shot from S3, after all — but i do wanna point out that the symbolism even went into the carpets. the fucking carpets.

like, the shift: it’s red when akutagawa’s leading the conversation but changes to blue after atsushi’s suggesting of the submersible as a strategy? i mean, i don’t know if this (or anything i’ve said, to be fair) was intentional or not, but it’s a cool detail anyway!

personally, i enjoyed this episode, the action was great, and all of this too was a really neat addition as well! and now… uh. we wait for the chaos to get worse i suppose !? (laughs nervously)

#while i haven’t been enjoying S5 as much as i did S4 i think they still did pretty good w this episode #there was a lot i really enjoyed about this episode!! #studio bones will always deliver on the action. we can count on that bit at least LMAO #next week though…. it’s shin soukokover #bsd #jem rambles #bsd s5 #bungo stray dogs #bsd spoilers #atsushi #akutagawa #shin soukoku #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #bsd sskk #sskk #i do mourn the loss of some of the nuance of their characters but. they did say at the panel the anime focuses more on action sooo 🥴 #you win some you lose some i guess #only reason i was able to make this post btw is because ive watched bsd so many times to the point shit’s literally engraved into my brain #it’s bad for me NDLDGAJ #bsd analysis #bsd anime analysis #bungo stray dogs season 5 #bsd season 5

[didididraws]

my tablet is currently halfway across the country for repairs (my brother's the most tech-savvy in my family and asking him to take a look at it was cheaper than taking it to a shop) so i haven't been able to draw lately. i've made a bunch of traditional sketches in the meantime, but none of them are presentable enough to post here, so i decided to take a trip down memory lane and fill out one of foxorian's influence maps!

below the cut are the names of the artists featured here, as well as a little bit of director's commentary on how they've influenced me :]

yugo limbo (website, tumblr, twitter) - some time last year, i realized something profoundly unnerving: i actually... don't like the art in smile for me's original release all that much? that's not to say it's bad, just that there isn't a whole lot about it outside of maybe its architecture that stands out to me. which is REALLY WEIRD, considering i wrote a whole retrospective about how much this game means to me. art-wise, however, it was only after smile for me's release that yugo limbo's art evolved in a way that really resonated with me; i love how textured everything is, i love the way they simplify clothing folds and the way that skin wrinkles around the joints, i love their love for puppets; all of those things ended up worming their way into my art style and tastes one way or another, and i couldn't be happier!! it didn't feel right to leave smile for me out of the equation entirely, though, so i chose a piece that was both related to that game and that i felt reflected a lot of what i love about yugo's more recent art.

echobsilly (twitter, tumblr) - oh god, speaking of yugo limbo - god. i fucking love echo's art so much i have no idea how to even do it justice in writing. like many people i first found him through his smile for me/limbolane fanart and animations - and those are some of his best work, don't get me wrong, but i really wanted to include one of his original designs to make a point that he's just fuckin great at art in general. character design, facial expressions, body language, composition, LIGHTING... he makes it all just. so so so gorgeous. i always liked "painterly" art styles for lack of a better word, but i think his art is what first pushed me to embrace that more in my digital art. i also like how he talks about dr. habit like he's his dead wife. i'm very proud to call him a friend these days :]

japhers (tumblr, twitter, instagram) - i first found japhers' art in high school and he very quickly became a HUUUUUGE influence on my taste in character and costume design. one of the big reasons i never fully bought into the idea that men's fashion is inherently harder to design is bc so much of his art is already dedicated to exploring fashion Without the restrictions of a gender binary in place which is to say that he's really good at drawing buff dudes in frilly outfits. i also think he gave me more confidence to draw more intricate costumes without having to worry about super dainty and clean lineart, bc a lot of his art looks like it's kinda been carved/rendered out of sketches, and it is Gorgeous.

moe suppe (website, tumblr, cohost) - another artist i found in high school, albeit originally from a long-gone instagram account. his art is what kickstarted my desire to have some Roughness in my art, some Texture. it may not have stuck to my lineart, but it Definitely stuck to my rendering. it helped that i was going through a pretty big angel/demon phase at the time, which meant i was pretty immediately drawn in by his delightfully weird worldbuilding. i should probably read fear not now that it's an actual serial...

val wise (website, itch.io, twitter, instagram) - a more recent influence, but a pretty significant one nonetheless. i featured the cover of délicatesse here because it was the first thing from him that i had ever read, but in general his grasp on the human body really blows me away given how deceptively simple his style looks at first glance, especially his faces. the way fat and hair sits on her bodies, and how much it varies from character to character... it's beautiful without being So glamorous that it feels untouchable. his costume design is also great. i recommend his comics for low fantasy/ursula k. le guin fans who are Dying to see more fat characters in leading roles. i also just found out that i am of two hearts is free on itch.io, so i'll be treating myself to that over spring break.

partycoffin (tumblr, twitter) - if you have known me for any amount of time at all then this should not come as a surprise to you. i actually wasn't going to include partycoffin in this map at first, because while welcome home has inspired me in Many creative pursuits, i didn't think visual art was one of them? i definitely picked up some of clown's love for dramatic lighting and thinner lines with just a smidge of well-placed hatching subconsciously, though.

ryoko kui - probably the most recent artist featured here? anyways i have a confession to make: i have yet to read dungeon meshi. i just know that when i saw a post compiling a bunch of ryoko kui's sketches from her daydream hour series, i was so overwhelmed with this feeling of, like… "oh, yeah, these capture almost everything i love about women as flesh and blood people. when i draw women this is the kind of beauty that i want people to see in them." of course, ryoko kui is a great character designer in general, but something about her women specifically really speak to me. the earthier color palettes and rendering also do a lot to endear her art to me.

shuzo oshimi - specifically his art in blood on the tracks. something that really stood out to me in that series was whenever the shadows would get really intense, and you'd get these big blocks of black with just the faintest bit of hatching to soften out some of their edges. it was always very effective in creating this sense of claustrophobia. i really want to keep incorporating that in my more intense pieces!

person918x (tumblr, instagram) - i don't work with 3d art often and i don't see myself doing so any time soon, but the composition of person918x's pieces is something i take a lot of inspiration of. i also love his sequential art, as someone who does a lot of dream journaling it's sick to see the exact Vibe of a dream be put to (digital) canvas. i also firmly believe that he's one of the only people out there who knows what he's doing when it comes to using generative AI in art.

oops i made this list too long so now i have to put the last two artists in a new block.

10. meatgiri (twitter, instagram) - definitely the artist i've known about the longest out of this selection. i think i've been following her since…. oh god. since i was in middle school. way before she was meatgiri, even. i think her influence probably shows up the least in my art, but there are definitely some characteristics that stuck with me for a very long time (the lil block of black accompanied by one or two lines for shading on the neck, the looser lineart making it really easy to incorporate soft curves and sharp edges, the Eyes, etc etc.) i chose this drawing of her oc juniper bc i thought it was both reflective of her current art And a good embodiment of a lot of things i wanted to emulate from her art as a young'un.

11. dragan bibin (website, instagram) - specifically his 'deimos' series. much like with person918x, it's his compositions that really stand out to me the most, and you probably know by now that i'm a sucker for high contrast. i find it interesting though that he uses high contrast to obscure more than he does to highlight... helps a lot with giving the deimos paintings that air of Quiet Unease. another thing i want to incorporate in my horror-adjacent art! manmade environments gone wrong!

#not art #influence map #artists on tumblr #yugo limbo #echobsilly #japhers #moe suppe #val wise #partycoffin #ryoko kui #shuzo oshimi #person918x #meatgiri #dragan bibin

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

Ok what is the softest pack!lino has ever been? Like has he cuddled with the reader when she was cramping during her period? Did he help Jisung with a dance rourine and even when he was getting frustrated, he took the time to compliment what he got right? HAS HE KISSED CHAN ON THE FOREHEAD WHEN HE WAS ASLEEP AT HIS DESK AND GENTLY GUIDE HIM TO BED SO HE WOULDNT HURT IN THE MORNING AND DENY IT WHEN HE WOKE UP AND SAID IT WAS FELIX??? Sorry that got out of hand, anyway. Soft pack!lino but also tsundere soft pack!lino

Hey, remember when Tumblr had an ask character limit? Yeah, me neither.

"Oh my god." Hyunjin rubs his hands together gleefully. "We get to talk about all of hyung's sappy moments? This is the best day of my life."

"Hwang Hyunjin." Minho fixes the omega with a long stare. "Think this through carefully."

Hyunjin balks a little bit, but straightens up quickly. "You can't do anything to me for spilling your secrets, hyung. Not this time. Not when it's for the sake of the readers and their questions."

Jisung whistles. "Damn. He's right."

Minho looks murderous, but he doesn't say anything else, letting the omega continue.

"I wanna go first, can I go first?" Jeongin exclaims excitedly, bouncing on the couch next to Felix now that he knows Minho can't do anything in retaliation.

Minho sighs. "God, I hate this."

"We know." You grin at him, and he flips you off. You blow him a kiss in response.

"Okay, one time-" Jeongin is practically giddy, not able to hold still as he talks. "-Minho-hyung found a stray kitten outside the dance department. And it was cold and wet, but we couldn't have pets in the dorms, obviously, so he snuck it inside, and spent all night getting it warmed up and calling people he knew who could possibly give it a home."

"God, I really hate this." Minho groans, and Jeongin gives him a bright, affectionate grin.

"His eomma ended up driving down the next day to the take the kitten to live with her at hyung's childhood home. Said since he was an only child, it would be like having him home again."

"I totally remember that." Felix giggles, glancing fondly at Minho, who is stoically not looking at them. "I came over to see the kitten, and hyung had her wrapped up like a baby-burrito style-in a soft pink blanket. He wouldn't put her down for the rest of the night."

"Once, I had a really bad stomach flu and couldn't get out of bed." Changbin starts, glancing at Minho, who rolls his eyes, though the tips of his ears are pink, giving him away. "Couldn't keep anything down, not even water. And hyung insisted on coming over and making me all sorts of soups and broths and teas, until he finally found something I could manage to keep in my stomach." Changbin offers him a smile, arching a brow. "I was worried you would get sick too, but you didn't even listen to my protests. Just told me 'Seo Changbin, I'm coming over whether you like it or not. So either unlock your door or I'll break it down.'"

"God, you really are nothing but a big sap." Jisung says, entirely too fond, and Minho promptly fixes him with another venomous glare.

"Take that back."

"Never."

"I don't sleep well." Chan admits, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly, as he makes eye contact with Minho, before he looks away, neither of them good with direct feelings. He clears his throat. "Everybody here already knows that, but on nights where I can't sleep, when the insomnia is particularly bad, I usually stay up in the living room to work on my current compositions. Eventually, I'll fall asleep on the couch, with my headphones on and my laptop open."

Chan meets Minho's gaze once more, and this time his lips curve into the start of a soft smile.

"I usually wake up in the morning with a blanket tucked around me and my laptop and headphones neatly put away, a pillow slid beneath my head. He'd never admit it, but he cares an incredible amount, it's just usually shown in the quietest, smallest ways, which are actually huge to those of us who love and know him."

"Okay, you being sappy is literally the worst thing that could happen to me." Minho remarks with despair, his brow furrowed in disgust. "What happened to stoicism, Christopher? Tsunderes for life?"

"Hyung knows I like how he smells. A lot." Felix goes next, cuddling in against Minho and grinning up at him, even as said alpha makes a show of pushing him off of him. "So he always wears a hoodie 24/7 on the weekends, and when the week rolls around again, somehow, that exact hoodie always ends up folded neatly on the edge of my bed, ready for my nest."

"Weird." Minho mumbles, ignoring the omega and partially failing as Felix attaches to his side again. "Wonder how that happens, because it definitely isn't me."

"Okay, hyung." Felix giggles, burying his nose into the sleeve of the alpha's sweatshirt.

"One time, he knew I was struggling with a painting." Hyunjin remarks, not glancing at Minho, staring at Jisung's hand in his lap, dutifully playing with his fingers. "It was for an end of year art display on campus and I just couldn't seem to get it right. I kept adding things and taking them away, and I never felt like it was finished, or even worth finishing."

Minho has gone quiet, staring at the head omega intently, his expression unreadable.

Finally, Hyunjin meets his eyes, his lips parted softly, his voice gentle, his usually sharp, intense gaze fuzzy with fondness around the edges.

"Minho-hyung sat me down and told me that my painting was good, great even, and that I didn't need to worry. Told me that I was more talented than I knew and if I was worried about making you all proud, that I shouldn't be, because you were proud of me just for existing, just for being me."

"I also told you if you ever repeated that, I'd immediately kill you." Minho states, but there's a slight mist to his gaze, and he swallows hard after the threatening statement.

Hyunjin shrugs. "It had to be done."

"I'm anxious." Jisung admits softly, chewing on his bottom lip, a nervous habit he's always had. "A lot of the time, actually. It's bad, and sometimes, when I feel out of control, or like I'm going to panic, hyung notices and calms me down."

Hyunjin silently reaches out and swipes his thumb across Jisung's mouth, freeing the beta's lip from between his teeth. Jisung gives him a small, grateful smile.

"Especially in social situations. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, and I feel like I can't breathe, and like the walls are closing in and there's too many people I don't know in my space. Once, when we went to an end of year party for my department, I started to feel anxious, and Minho-hyung noticed the way I was scratching at my pants while sitting down, and he pulled me into the hall and did breathing exercises with me until I felt like I could function again."

Minho's gaze softens slightly as he regards the beta.

"Breathing exercises aren't that big of a deal, Jisungie."

"They are to me." Jisung looks him dead in the eye and holds his gaze seriously, sitting up straighter now. "The ways you manage my anxiety? That's huge to me, hyung."

Hyunjin reaches over and takes the beta's hand, and Jisung squeezes it with a soft smile.

"Hyung's never soft with me." Seungmin deadpans, his expression blank, and Minho fixes him with a dagger like stare.

"That's right. And don't you forget it."

"Lies. All of it." Jisung scoffs, and Seungmin turns to him with glaring betrayal. "You two are literally the softest duo ever, even if neither of you will admit it."

"Like artisan bread-" Felix grins and wiggles his eyebrows playfully at Seungmin. "-hard and crusty on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside."

"Fine." Seungmin sighs with exasperation. "I guess Minho-hyung came to my end of semester presentation and award ceremony when the rest of you couldn't make it because you were out of town, but that was one time."

"Ahh." Jeongin coos, patting Minho on the thigh with a gleefully wicked look. "What a good dad."

"Yang Jeongin. I will murder you."

Seungmin settles back into the couch and tries to ignore Jisung's triumphant grin from beside him.

"Shortly after we all got together, I had to have surgery." You say, taking in a deep breath, as everyone turns their eyes on you, Minho included. You smile ruefully, kicking your toe along the carpet. "I'm sure everyone remembers, it wasn't like a big deal or anything, just my appendix getting taken out, but I was flat on my back for the first couple of days of recovery."

"I couldn't get up to shower or take care of myself, so when the dressing finally came off on the third day, I was determined to get myself cleaned up." You shake your head slightly. "I'm stubborn, so I didn't ask for help, and I literally got to the side of the bed before it hurt so bad I stopped."

"I resigned myself to being disgusting and hairy and greasy forever, and that's when Min showed up." You glance fondly at the other alpha. "I don't know how you knew."

"Please." Minho rolls his eyes. "I have a radar for my packmates doing stupid, stubborn things they shouldn't be. It's a necessity when living with all of you."

"Anyway." You grin and continue. "He showed up, didn't say a word, just helped me up out of the bed, to the bathroom, and ran me a bath. He sat beside the tub and helped me scrub my hair and my skin and then he shaved my legs for me, taking time to let me adjust to more comfortable positions when it pulled my incision a little too much."

"All of this without a word, because he knew I'd feel stupid and embarrassed. And then he helped me dry off and get dressed and get back to bed."

"Ahhh." Jisung coos, looking at the alpha with literal heart eyes now. "Hyung, you never told me that."

"Because if I did, I'd have to kill you." Minho replies dangerously.

The tips of his ears are now more than a little pink, giving him away.

#skz #stray kids #stay #ot8 #skz!pack #skz!abo #poly!skz #omegaverse #skz x you #skz x reader #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #han jisung #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #y/n #ask the pack #askthepack #skz imagines #skz reactions #skz scenarios #inbox #reply #ask #moots #mutuals #anon

[the-monkey-ruler]

Hi I Don’t know if you have seen sun wukong in vs battle wiki in fandom and I was wondering how accurate you think his powers are the journey to the west

Battle wiki? Never heard of that that but I'll take a look.

Hmmm those are sure numbers and letts I'm not sure what they mean.

But I read each one and it looks like they have a good idea what they are listing! Esp enjoy there are so many references and explanations for each power. Have to say that a lot of these powers could be subjective depending on how people in modern times would try to define these powers to fit a proper power level.

You have to remember that Wukong is as powerful as the novel needs him to be within each arc and yes that is like anti-plot armor but with how strong Wukong is in the book, a lot of expectations and magic items are used on him as a means of counteracting how many powers he has. That all being said the powers he gains in the end could be limitless all things considering and depending on how a person interpts his powers could even lead to further interpretations of these powers as well.

This was a fun read! Maybe @journeytothewestresearch would know more about the details since he has measured Wukong's greatest feats but it looks fine with me.

Superhuman Physical Characteristics

Stealth Mastery

Regeneration (Mid) - I would say this should be higher, he made himself a new head within a minute.

Acrobatics (Used Physical Exercises while inside the body of a monster)

Martial Arts (It is hinted that his martial prowess is comparable to his magic ability in importance. He's fought thousands of trained Gods and Divine/Heavenly Warriors that are millions of years old. He even fought on par with a clone of himself, which was a Six-Eared Macaque. Its stated they have precognition, and without even moving knew every event within thousands of miles of themselves instantly)

Weapon Mastery (He taught his Monkey Army how to proficient with all kinds of weapons. His proficiency with his staff impresses Gods and Demons throughout the story)

Breath Attack (Can blow out winds so strong they destroy forests and create tsunamis the size of mountains)

Attack Reflection (Sun Wukong can use spells so Water, Fire and Thunder cannot harm him. He can also repel them)

Statistics Amplification (Can change the composition of his body to protect himself. Sun Wukong and his transformations, in general, have shown that changing your form can make you stronger)

Cosmic Awareness (Can hear up to Heaven and into the Underworld. With his eyes he can see if something is true or false, good or evil, wealthy or poor. He also states he is capable of seeing the entire World)

Enhanced Senses (He can see things like a dragonfly's wings precisely even if they are a thousand miles away. Capable of seeing through transformations and illusions along with shapeshifters)

Underwater Breathing (Type 2: Stated he cannot be drowned)

Purification (Type 2: Having mastered The Great Way, Sun Wukong would be capable of spell's that purify both his mind and body)

Forcefield Creation (Sun Wukong can create barriers by drawing on the ground. He can also use magic to create a barrier around his body)

Immortality (Type 1; Sun Wukong is stated multiple times to have eternal life. Type 2; He can live with and jokes about fatal wounds like being beheaded or having his body ripped open just for fun. Type 3; He can actively regenerate himself from fatal injuries such as being beheaded or being ripped open. Type 4; He has an extra life for each one of his transformations. Type 5; He is incapable of dying with death no longer applying to him)

Elemental Intangibility (Can turn into Ether)

Non-Physical Interaction (Fights evil spirits throughout the novel, which are confirmed to be nonexistent, and constantly interacts with things that are non-physical such as clouds)

Life Manipulation (Sun Wukong can create life from his hairs and turn them into creatures with special abilities such as sleeping bugs. He can also transform them into beings such as Thunder Spirits)

Light Manipulation (Can generate light from his eyes)

Limited Subjective Reality & Information Manipulation (It is stated at some point Sun Wukong began to utilize Dharma Power, which is Subjective Reality and Information to manifest his powers)

Self-Sustenance (Type 1 & 3: Does not need sleep, he has no issues in space and is capable of travelling through the cosmos)

Power Nullification (Has shown the ability to destroy magic)

Sleep Manipulation (Can force people to sleep for weeks)

Water Manipulation (Can overturn rivers and stir up oceans. Shown he can manipulate water to an extent)

Astral Projection (Sun Wukong can transform between being a spirit and having his normal body at will. At the same time he keeps the properties of his normal body as a soul/spirit. He is capable of using his staff, killing and touching Ghost and Souls, speaking to them, etc.)

Reincarnation (Sun Wukong in his True Spirit state is capable of reincarnating through any birth outlet)

Air Manipulation (Can create a planetary storm. Can also use wind to make others and most likely himself fly)

Social Influencing (Can speak to and befriend animals)

BFR (Having mastered The Great Way and The Daoist Way, Sun Wukong should be capable of banishing souls like his master)

Body Control (He can control his body and change its shape)

Biological Manipulation (He can invoke seizures onto other people) - don't remember this but sounds right

Danmaku (Can attack with tens of thousands of flying cudgels at once to counter millions of projectiles)

Dimensional Travel (Can go to the underworld and leave it as he wishes. He can also travel to Heaven)

Elasticity (Can have his head squeezed to the point it's shaped like an hourglass)

Duplication (Can turn his hairs into exact clones of himself. He can create billions of clones and they in turn could do the same seemingly endlessly. If Sun Wukong is cut into pieces one of those pieces will become himself and the other pieces will turn into clones)

Durability Negation (Sun Wukong's Cudgel can ignore durability)

Invulnerability (Sun Wukong has stated he is invulnerable and his body cannot be damaged, his invulnerability and immortality is merged with his body. This was further refined into his being. And by mastering The Great Way he would have an Indestructible Body. He's also stated to be capable of using magic to protect his body. He has only been damaged if he wished to be or by things with Immortality/Invulnerability Nullification)

Spatial Manipulation (Can instantly shorten the distance between locations for himself, and others)

Flight (He is capable of flying. Can travel through space and the cosmos)

Magic (Learned all sorts of magic)

Shapeshifting (Is capable of transformations. He can shapeshift other beings as well)

Size Manipulation (States he can grow so large he would fill the Universe or become smaller than a piece of hair. He can also control other people's size)

Summoning (Having mastered The Daoist Way, Sun Wukong should be capable of summoning Immortals to his side. This is shown we he summons the Northern Dragon King. He summons Gods and Deities throughout the Novel)

Invisibility (He can turn Invisible)

Resistance to Soul Manipulation (His Soul keeps the properties of his normal body. He survived the full brunt of a weapon that melts souls and causes the spirit of who it hits to leak)

Resistance to Cosmic Radiation (Can travel to Heaven which lies on top of the cosmos)

Resistance to Death Manipulation & Life Manipulation (By removing his name from the Register of Births and Deaths, Sun Wukong is free from Life & Death)

Resistance to Fate Manipulation (Alongside being free from Life & Death, Sun Wukong is also free from Fate as the Register of Births and Deaths determines and controls that as well)

Possible Resistance to Mist Manipulation & Electricity Manipulation (Sun Wukong stated that once they delivered the scriptures, they obtained bodies that could not be harmed by Fog, Thunder, or Lightning) - this is true, not a possibility.

Resistance to Mental Manipulation, Perception Manipulation. Empathic Manipulation, Madness Manipulation & Sense Manipulation (Sun Wukong's mind became enlightened and mastered the Great Way before he became a Buddha. Those who are enlightened obtain a special mindset allowing them to bypass all mental projections. Mental Projections in general include all types of perception. This includes ones based on vision as well as others that are shaped by memory and learning. This further includes mental events which are thoughts, feelings, decisions, dreams, and realizations)

Resistance to Disease Manipulation (Having learned the Way, he is free from all diseases. Fought against the entirety of Heaven yet was uninjured and couldn't be executed by them. That would include the Five Plagues. These are suggested to be phenomena that make your eyes bleed, nose bleed, ears pus, jaw lock & make anything you taste seem foul)

Resistance to Corruption (Sun Wukong stated that once they delivered the scriptures, they obtained bodies that are incorruptible)

Resistance to Conceptual Manipulation & Elemental Manipulation (The Five Phases are stated to be a force alongside the Yin-Yang which is responsible for human's natural endowments. Natural endowments would include things like intelligence and strength or their gifts, talents, etc. Consisting of Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal & Water they are thoroughly linked with the Yin-Yang. It's stated they formed creation itself as the Five Phases make up the entire Universe. Even the forms of Monsters & Demons are molded to match the Five Phases. Sun Wukong states he has transcended The Five Phases, which puts him beyond their dynamics)

Possible Resistance to Dream Manipulation & Subjective Reality (When the Dragon King of Jing River broke the Laws of Heaven he was to be executed. The execution occurred in a dream and then became reality. Sun Wukong not only broke the Laws of Heaven yet even after being captured could not be executed by them)

Possible Resistance to Darkness Manipulation & Light Manipulation (Fought against the entirety of Heaven yet was uninjured and couldn't be executed by them. That would include The Gods of Darkness and Light. Gods are shown to able to use the abilities of what they are the God of)

Possible Resistance to Time Manipulation (Fought against the entirety of Heaven yet was uninjured and couldn't be executed by them. That would include The Gods of Time and the Guardians of Time. Gods are shown to able to use the abilities of what they are the God of)

#jttw #journey to the west #sun wukong #xiyouji #ask #monkey king #powers #kind power scaling #not really #a lot of readying damn

[literalite]

asks

these r all the asks i got last night about the whole aesthetic discussion i'll answer in order of when i got them :p

truth b told if i started simblr like. today and knew nothing about photoshop then i'd probably be pretty demoralised too but also thats exactly how it was starting simblr anyway i just worked on it until i was happy w my skills... no one gave me a cheat code i just put time and effort into it

i agree with u im ngl like i do sincerely wish everyone had the opportunity to put hours and hours of their lives into learning how everything about this works if thats what they truly wanted. also if anything doing it solely by urself will make the process all the more time consuming but if u ask around for help people (including me! im down to help fr) will usually give it to u and that'll speed up the process more. being mad at me for having that is pointless what am i gna do go back in time and unlearn it all and for what? dsfghjk

okay i did see this being said a lot and uhhhh i was trying to understand it but like. i also don't. like ok with cluttered aesthetic build shots or yknow the odd landscape with heavy bloom shader on it i guess if ur looking at it completely from that pov yeah i guess it looks like some posts that "blow up" r just sort of the same shit. but the fact remains that its also it's good shit like anyone can clutter a room and take a photo of it what really counts here in my opinion anyhow is shot composition. and there's literally preestablished rules for this sort of thing u can google cinematography basics and get it for free... there's a whole field of study looking into what draws the human eye. like maybe the core concepts behind what makes a popular post popular is the same but thats because it just works. if u wanna shy away from that entirely but then complain about ur posts not being as popular then that's very much a u problem it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of us

amen these are my ocs wdym these are "sims" LOLLL these are the real people living in my head if i bust my ass making them look good then thats a choice i made

u can call this an empathy problem and try explain it to me more but i dont see how other people feeling insecure about what their current ability scales up to is any fault of mine or my problem to bend backwards to try fix... or even how i could. like is the standard high now yeah honestly it is. the learning curve was steep as hell when i first started as well. no disagreements here. but what am i supposed to do about it LMAO like i didn't create the human proclivity to be drawn to beauty i just ride off of it.

idk why i'm the bad guy for being honest for my reasoning behind what i do and don't reblog? lots of other people have been saying they dont really care about aesthetics which is great but if i said that i'd literally just be lying to you. i'm not gonna apologise for not lying... i like being able to see the passion and energy poured into the same video game we're all playing it's only natural to appreciate that- if that reads as passive aggression and u don't understand my stance that's fine by me

i would say for me personally try watch visual media that u can recognise as "beautiful" and not to shit on like. cw shows but i mean stuff that is marked by its cinematography being truly excellent. and just really examine how those set and lighting designers use angles and lighting and how the people filming and editing choose to frame their shots to achieve what works. hell looking at art helps with this too. look at other people's stuff on simblr analytically try to seriously work out why it appeals to people the way it does. ik u asked for editing tips but i think it really starts ingame you can have the most incredible editing style but it doesn't work if ur shot comp doesn't work then it'll won't hit as hard

take time to learn what most of the adjustment layers do on photoshop, and what all the blending layers look like, download other people's psds and play with them on top of ur shots to see what works! what u personally think looks good will be different from what i personally think looks good, i like dramatic lighting and muted colours and mid level contrast so not too strong but i can't speak for whether you will too. ALSO im a religious user of @/simmerstesia's psd set here i think a well chosen shot can be really elevated by using something like this to really give it that final polish

additionally if u have any like really specific questions or need some advice u can ask me on discord my dms are open like i can talk u thru it. promise it's not as daunting as it can look

#ask #reply #anonymous

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

So I know you've mentioned Grima's brothers in your works, but what do you overall see his family/childhood looking like? The way I headcanon it, his birth mother was Rohirrim and his father Dunlending, they had a fling, she dropped him off and was never heard from again, and he had to deal with a cold stepmother and bullying half-siblings, so with that headcanon in mind, I'm really interested in knowing what you feel his upbringing/family/siblings are like!

And sister! We can't forge Brynja!

I got into this a little bit in the Swimming Through Fire series, mostly it comes up in Cycles of Song where we meet the brothers (I tried hard to get Brynja to show up, but she didn't want to appear on the page in present-tense just yet).

-

Essentially, I have it that Grima's mother is not Rohirrim. I made up a group of people, the Skoltse, who are out from near the Sea of Rhun. Mostly because all we get for people from anywhere east is that they are "easterlings" but like hell would a) they be calling themselves that, and b) are they a monolith. So I came up with at least one of the nations/ethnic groups from out that way.

His mother was fleeing the encroachment of Sauron and his forces into the east and ended up in Rohan where she met Grima's father and they shacked up.

I have it that Galmod breeds and trains horses and also has land/does some farming. Owensel, as the eldest son, inherited everything. 

From Grima's account to Legolas:

Gríma shrugs. ‘My mother isn’t from Éomarc. So far as I understand it, my mother saw my father at some faire or other, walked up to him and said: you and he said: me? and she said: that’s what I said. It went from there.’

-

Grima and his sister, they're twins, are the youngest in the family and were what one could call "happy accidents". They were born when their mother was nearing forty and it had been super unexpected. Galmod never knew what to do with Grima when he was a boy, because he was a bit of an odd ball - one of those quiet kids who stares a lot and never blinks. When he did talk it was to ask incessant questions. Lots of "but why?'

Grima never took to the more traditional pursuits of Rohirrim boys, aside from hunting and stalking which he liked (likes still, as an adult). Which made socialization difficult. He spent a lot of time hanging out in the weaving room with his mother and sister and that was absolutely Not the done thing for boys (and men) (loosely based on the early medieval Scandinavian general taboo of men entering weaving rooms as it could make you effeminate~~~).

Galmod, as he didn't know what to do with Grima, left Grima to be essentially raised by his older brothers Owensel and Baldir. Leaving siblings to raise each other is never a great time for anyone involved. Owensel very much believed in "toughening" Grima up and trying to make sure he was "ready for the world" which involved a lot of beating him up and chucking him into the Limlight river and other such, uh, "games".

From Cycles:

Gríma is always somewhat missing Brynja when she is away, but doubly so when other members of the family are around. Who will blunt the blow of Owensel’s presence if not Brynja? To her, he is a good older brother. To Gríma, not so much. Which Gríma knows to be mostly due to his own acerbic temperament coupled with his unfortunate composition and disinclination to partake of anything remotely aligned with what is expected of a good Éothéod man.

Or, as Brynja always says, You are water and he is oil and that is the fault of no one in particular.

But Brynja is kind, like that. With her additions of: I know it’s complicated. And, It’s neither one of you directly to blame for the disagreements and general ill feelings. And, Alstadt is a difficult place for everyone.

Gríma, of course, believes the bad blood to be entirely Owensel’s fault. Owensel, naturally, blames Gríma. What started it all? He can’t remember. Something and nothing, most likely. How most of these things go.

He was always a surly, queer, smart-mouthed child who Gálmód never knew what to do with him so left him to be raised by his older brothers who also didn’t know what to do with him. Owensel probably found all of this to be a burden in his continued quest to be accepted by the other boys in the village. Hard enough when your mother is not from the area, worse still if your younger brother is the way he is. Siblings tend to be marked with the same brush, regardless of the accuracy of such markings.

The bullying Grima dealt with from other village kids was also focused more on his behaviour than anything else - so basically they all decided he was the Middle Earth equivalent of a "dirty queer" and insulted him accordingly. The Third Age version of "you're so gay" commenced. Which, as Grima noted, is something that also impacted his brothers, because kids are nasty like that. Owensel was less than pleased about this.

There was also definitely some bullying for all the siblings because their mother was not Rohirrim, but that was more a product of Rohan's general xenophobia and racism issues than anything in particular. I.e., it's not like Rohirrim hate Skoltse people in particular (they're not Dunlanders), they just don't trust any "outsiders". Which is a bit rich, considering the history of Rohan and how they got their land.

-

When he was seventeen, Grima and his sister took off from home and travelled throughout Gondor before eventually returning to Rohan by their early to mid twenties. Brynja married around that time and Grima went to Edoras and fell into the employ of the king's household.

Of his family, Grima is closest to his sister. He actually likes Brynja, she's on the list of six (6) people Grima genuinely likes. It's a limited list and he's steadily trying to whittle it down because liking people is a hassle and, in his view, doesn't end well.

He has a complex relationship with his mother, I don't think either likes each other but they also don't dislike one another. Grima is the most like his mother, out of the siblings, and I think Cerridwen has some weird feelings about her tiny goth child who reminds her of herself and not in good ways. Grima doesn't ever really think about his father, hates Owensel, and is like like "whatever" about Baldir because Baldir died when Grima was ten.

So that's my short run of his childhood and family. He was definitely isolated and bullied - which became a bit of a self-defeating circle of like "the face you give the world tells the world how to treat you / the world treats you in a way that tells you what sort of face to give it."

He also never learned how to form relationships in a healthy, normal way which leads to him trampling over and ignoring boundaries and people saying 'fuck off' in a variety of ways. Like he knows they're saying that, he's just ignoring it.

A lot of this also made him very "if you're going to call me a snake, then I'm going to be the snakiest snake who ever fucking snaked. Just watch me."

He is, essentially, a Gillian Flynn novel in human skin. All that meanness and darkness and fucked-upness of her characters wrapped up in one.

-

Gillian Flynn quotes that are relevant to Grima:

"There's something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold"

"I was not a loveable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul and it'd be a scribble with fangs."

"I have a meanness inside me, real as any organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark, drop it on the floor so you could stomp on it."

"I just think some women aren't made to be mothers. And some women aren't made to be daughters."

"I felt a quiet mixture of relief and horror: when you finally stop an itch and realize it's because you've ripped a hole in your skin."

"A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort."

-

In terms of the books we obviously don't know anything about Grima's family other than his father's name and that he is, presumably, a man of Rohan. If he was anything else, it would have been noted. Absolutely. Especially if he were of some Dunlander extraction, or had a parent from out east, or anything like that, we would for sure know. Tolkien would have mentioned it.

For the movies, I've mentioned in various and sundry asks before: Grima's appearance is because film is a visual medium and therefore we have him with black hair and everyone else blond(e). When, in fact, that doesn't make sense and there would be a wide variety of appearance in Rohan, including hair colour. Darker hair might be more rare, but it wouldn't be unheard of or anything.

However, it does give us something to play with and I know those of us, myself included, who have him having non-Rohirrim parentage of at least one parent, lean on the visuals of the movie.

(Book is way more vague and just says he is "a wizened figure of a man, with a pale wise face, and heavy lidded eyes." I believe they're also described as "dark eyes" at one point. He also is described as having a long, pale tongue. So who knows what else was going on.)

-

Now! All this said, here's my one call-out to canon where it could be interpreted as a hint of Grima having at least some family who isn't from Rohan.

Grima is one of the only characters from Rohan with a non-Anglo-Saxon name. Grima’s name is from old Icelandic Grimr, which is a name Odinn takes during the Grimnismal saga. (He is also given the feminine version of Grimr - as I've said before in other asks, it's like calling a male character Henrietta instead of Henry. Make of that what you will.)

Eomer, Theoden, Eowyn, Theodred, Eomund, Hama, Eothain, Erkenbrand, Elhelm, Elfwyn etc. are all, for the most part, anglo-saxon/Old English names. Grima's is from a different region entirely.

-

Thank you for the ask! :D :D I do enjoy nattering on about him! ❤️ ❤️ 

#grima thoughts #grima wormtongue #ask #reply #anon #fanfic #writing #cycles of song

[freitag]

A Year with the X100V

On August 27, 2021, I was sitting on my couch playing with my Sony a6000 and a 35mm lens. The lens was new, which is why I was playing around with the camera. I specifically picked this lens to give me an inexpensive push into manual photography. The thinking was that if it didn’t work out, 🤷‍♂️ no big deal, I rarely used this camera anymore. I thought I didn’t care because the images from my phone were good enough and there weren’t circumstances that warranted taking my camera and lenses.

Sitting there, holding the camera, I realized I was trying to recapture what I had with the Fujifilm X10. That camera was between my “real cameras” when I had gotten sick of my Nikon DSLR. For all of the drawbacks of the X10, it was fun and I used it a lot. With the a6000 and that 35mm lens, it was obvious what I was trying to do.

Right then and there I decided to go back to Fujifilm. When I bought the X10 in late 2012, I didn’t even consider the X100 because it was too expensive as a transition camera. This time I knew that if I spent the money and bought it and I still didn’t go out then I was probably done with that kind of photography. I decided to sell all of my gear and buy whatever the latest version was.

🔎 Searched for the latest iteration of the X100 series camera.

💡 Discovered the X100V was the latest model.

📲 Called my local camera store that would buy my equipment.

🙋‍♂️ Do you have any X100V cameras in stock?

👨🏻‍💻 We have 1…but it's only in silver.

🎯 That's the one I want.

(true story)

Within an hour, I was back on that same couch with the Fujifilm X100V. Only later did I learn how insanely lucky it was to have found that camera. Regardless, I found it. And it instantly felt right to me. I mean instantly.

I decided to pick a different spot, at least once a month, and try to capture it. I figured this would give me good practice and a chance to see new areas in and around Denver. I wasn’t interested in going full manual mode just yet but I did want to practice my compositions. I’d leave everything on full auto and just think about moving myself to get the better shot. Photography 101, if you will.

So I did. And I did. And I did. And I did.

I was enjoying myself but my photography was hit or miss. I know that's the nature of photography but my stuff was all over the board. I was using Apple’s Photos because I didn’t want to get too bogged down in the process of editing photographs. Sometimes I’d edit the levels or play with the light but for the most part I'd take it as it came from the camera. If you look at any of those images, it's a testament to how wonderful the Fujifilm X100V captures color. 

This method of going out and shooting a location and then sharing my favorite 15 to 20 photos was hard to maintain. And it wasn't any fun for people I was trying to share with. Photographs are like dreams, people don't care unless it's about them or it's really good. Sharing to Flickr was cumbersome. Plus I was getting nagged all the time to pay for an upgrade and that was getting old. The fun was starting to get sucked out again, right around 6 months of owning this camera. The last album I shared on Flickr was February 20, 2022. 

Enter Glass.

I had Glass on my iPhone the entire time I owned my camera, signing up about a week or two before buying. I’d post shots from time to time but thought it was a little niche, maybe a little limiting in how I could share. But there were some photographers that would post images every once in a while that would blow me away.

Then on February 15th, Glass came to iPad.

I liken Glass on iPad to a good coffee table book about photography. I’m not there for the likes or the interactions or the vanity, I’m appreciating photography.

That was it. That was the thing that helped me get through my years-long slump with photography. I started watching YouTube videos on street photography, using Adobe Lightroom, color correcting my photos. I started using the built-in film simulations and dialing in recipes from Fuji X Weekly. And I began posting only what I thought was worthy of sharing, taking time to crop and fix and correct my images. I have found a passion that has long been dormant.

Obviously the camera itself isn't what makes people better at photography. Some of those great images from people on Glass were shot on iPhones. It's the work, the effort you put in to get the shot and what you want it to be in post.

But it’s important to find a camera that you want to use. I think we lie to ourselves about that part. We go into making a big-ticket purchase and we don't want to make a mistake so we do the pros and cons and we read the reviews and we just don't trust ourselves. I realized that I loved shooting with the X10 because I wanted to pick it up and use it. That's what I got back with the X100V. This quirky video on YouTube absolutely nails it. You want to use this camera.

The secret sauce this year was timing. I mean, the way the pieces all fell together is unreal. I was trying to make my old camera something it wasn't so I made a decision to try something else. I call a local camera shop and they have the camera I want in stock, a camera you can't find anywhere. And right as I'm making that decision, a new photo service launches that puts photography first. And then, just as I'm growing frustrated with my options for sharing, Glass makes an app for iPad that's so good it changes the way I want to approach photography.

So, yeah. The X100V is 👍. And if you're on Glass, please give me a follow. I'll leave you with a couple of recent photos. Love this camera.

#photography #fujifilmx100v #fujifilm

[sightburdened]

Lithe fingers dance across the ivories, getting a taste for them - acquainting himself. The slightest amount of pressure tells Lestat he has made the right choice in a new piano for his home. A bittersweet smile passes over his face and memories come as painfully into the present as a blow to the head. That Christmas before their Mardi Gras feast. He had believed... Lestat clears his throat and puts his hands in his lap, turning somewhat shyly, shoulders down, towards Will. "Just give me five minutes of your time?" He's been working on this composition for a few days, while his beloved has been gone.

Once you understand that your presence is merely tolerated for the sake of social decorum, there is a freedom to be found in apathy, in letting one's eyes lose focus, in thinking about what he wanted to do with his weekend, in the shape of his pillow in his bed that he missed. The chores he wanted to do for his dogs, the fishing lures he wanted to make, that book he'd been wanting to read. Maybe, he'd write another paper, or maybe, he'd just fall into gentle self-inclusion, thinking only of his own wants and needs. It was certainly, easier.

Until, -- neighbor, person, partner, special someone -- the vampire Lestat de Lioncourt entered his life. Lestat looks at him as if he's the rising moon after waiting for the sunset during that interminable period of time between sleeping and waking. Lestat looks at him as if he has become his favorite volume of text in a library that he had forgotten about and grew immediately enchanted with. Lestat de Lioncourt looks at him as if he were the first green sprig on a land, parched by volcanic ash; he looks at him as if somehow, he'd helped him hope again.

Down goes his messenger bag, his papers, his duffel bag, his head thudding dully with a headache that two prescription ibuprofen hadn't cured yet, all of which he forsakes for the way Lestat looks at him, as if he was eager to show him something important, a hound dog awaiting their master.

Lestat de Lioncourt is no dog -- he was entirely himself. It was he who was the dog, desperate to be in his good graces, bloodhound sniffing for the last traces of a ham-bone. He should be so lucky that someone like Lestat even looked at him, much less, looked at him this way.

He walks over to Lestat, his stomach coiling with nerves that he both feels from the vampire and himself -- why would he be nervous, what reason would Lestat have to be nervous around him? -- which leads him to taking a seat on the piano bench, removing his glasses from his eyes, placing them in his jacket pocket.

"You can have all of my time." His tongue is loose around Lestat, he always had a way of saying the correct thing but in the wrong phrasing, he was always so blunt to a fault no matter who it was. "You deserve more than five minutes -- I...that was," and he gestures to his messenger bag, his duffel bag full of his clothes, "exhausting. Irritating. Horrific." Elaborate crime scenes, he didn't want to look, but he knew if he did, then someone would be helped. That's what it came down to: using this perception, this "gift" of profiling for something other than himself.

"I'd love to know what you made. I could use a little beauty," he says, his eyes lifting from the diametric of keys to Lestat's face. "Are you...okay? Somehow, I can't believe I can make you shy." Oh, he revealed what he saw -- it's too late to retract his statement. "Sometimes, I feel like a mutt who wandered by the finely catered blue-blooded pedigree that is you." It comes out in a rush, now it's his turn to turn away.

"You look at me as if you've never seen that painting Van Gogh did -- Starry Night. You look at me as if you've never eaten a pomegranate before and it became your favorite fruit. I don't know what I did to...inspire that, in you."

He brings his right hand to his own chest, he's having a hard time catching his breath. The piano bench is sturdy against his legs, he feels as if he wasn't sitting down, he'd fall to the floor.

"I wish you could've come with me on the trip. There's a lot you would've liked," the forest, separate from the trees, "but there's a lot you would've found unpleasant. But, it would've been easier -- bearable, with you."

His eyes look to the piano keys -- he knows how to play Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star -- but, nothing more. "Will you play for me?"

@deathcreate

#I CANNOT BE -- UNTIL YOU'RE RESTING HERE WITH ME. DEATHCREATE. #CH 8 -- MIDNIGHT DANCING IN OUR CHESTS. DEATHCREATE. #(my novel...please take it...)

[m-m--tv]

[-REVIEW-] Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Lost In The Sunshine (Single)

Cover art taken from YouTube Music

It seems like every 3 weeks or so I wake up to a new, surprise Sophie Ellis-Bextor single ! Well, “surprise” is probably a bit much because I have no doubt I just lurk in the wrong, non-Sophie-Ellis-Bextor-tuned places; however, it was still a very pleasant surprise to receive the Lost In The Sunshine visualizer in my YouTube notifications this morning. I liked Breaking The Circle, loved Everything Is Sweet and have been very much anticipating the release of HANA (soooo close… and yet so far away), so I was very excited to dive into this one.

And wow, did it not disappoint – my jaw literally dropped when I pressed play. She seemed to be going for a brighter (after Familia & WANDERLUST) yet still traditional disco sound with the 2 previous ones, so I did not expect this soft, dreamy piece with those twinkly sounds to hit me right in the heart… until the percussion kicked in and it became a downright heavenly ride. Lost In The Sunshine is quite an apt title, because the whole song sounds like a warm hug from that sweet sweet spring sun, enveloping your body and leading you through fuzzy, vivid visions of green fields, jade trees, crystal clear rivers and electric blue skies, as you float above it all and feel a hundred emotions all at once. Absolutely perfect release time, Sophie. The backing track is so beautifully crafted, the piano, twinkles and strings all come together under the umbrella of a slight reverbed touch into this stunning marriage that just melts me down to pure bliss, and the way the drums subtly trot behind, never ever taking the lead but still present enough to keep the song marching on like a stream of water is simply perfect. In fact, I’d say this is one of the best decisions taken with this song, because the way they’re placed, in turn, puts this song right on the border of amazing bop and soothing moment – instead of directly hitting you and taking you in, it’s more like hypnosis, where you slowly but surely sink deeper and deeper until one way or another, you’re moving, even swaying this time around. That guitar (? bass maybe ? I’m awful at recognizing instruments) in the chorus is great too, one of these pillars sculpted just the way they should to raise the song higher – it feels so playful and injects this dose of subtle dynamism into the track, acting as the killing blow to make you fall in without any hope of ever getting out if you had managed to last until then. Her voice also works incredibly well with the entire arrangement; she’s already one of my favorite vocalists EVER due to how elegant she always sounds, but here, it’s coupled with a certain softness drawn out by the general atmosphere, and the way it breezes over the instrumental is the final piece of the puzzle to truly take you there. When she sings “Let's get lost in the sunshine / And give ourselves to the summertime / An afterglow in clementine / And now the heat is growing”, it sounds like more than an invitation, like she’s some kind of omnipresent nature spirit hiding everywhere in the scenery I mentioned earlier and directly speaking to your soul telepathically, lifting you up into this paradise that she shows you. The lyrics overall are already very pretty and “scenic”, I’d say, but it’s the way she sings them that truly makes them so stunning. Lost In The Sunshine is pretty much “just” beautiful composition on beautiful composition, all tied together with a sparkly cream ribbon into an incredible bouquet whose fragrance is enough to make my heart squeeze to the point where it feels like it’s about to fall right out of my chest. This song just gets me, and it gets me to a place I wanna stay in forever.

These singles are only wildly getting better one after another, and this one is where I have to undeniably give in and understand that HANA will have a near-demonic grip on me when it finally arrives. If this is the sound of the album, then she not only has THE album of the summer on her hands and one that I will be all over for the entirety of June-July-August, but also definitely one of the best and most exciting albums of the year. At least, I can already picture myself walking through the streets of a small mountain town or even just looking out of my window into an endless sea of trees with this song serenading my ears – and then when September comes it will inevitably make me cry because I’ll miss it all so much lol. Well, June 2nd CANNOT come soon enough.

Note: 9.8

Stream:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube Music

Okay, so I don’t really know about this single reviews thing: believe it or not, but for something that runs entirely off Google Docs, there are a few questions that come with its addition into the equation, and I do not have the answers yet. I do want to add a bit of variety into this affair – as much variety as possible for this kind of tumblr blog anyways –, and it’s always nice to look at a song beyond just “yessss ears like” on a personal level, so it is a cool activity. But like, maybe I should wait until I settle into a more solid schedule before throwing singles into the mix; this blog is just short of a week old, after all. Maybe when my backlog will get majorly unclogged. So like, not anytime soon. I’ll see . All I’m saying is, if I never ever do one of these again someday then don’t be surprised.

#pop #sophie ellis bextor #sophie ellis-bextor #dance-pop #dance pop #single #song review #review #single review #music #sophie ellis bextor lost in the sunshine #sophie ellis-bextor lost in the sunshine #female artist #solo artist #solo female artist

[velvetlead4]

Each day in the Living of the Power Washing Employee - Circumstance Study

In the midst of the hot warm, fog the overnight star employee regarding a Mobile Electric power Washing Company, surfaced wearing rubber footwear and yellow rainfall gear rubber slacks. He had merely cleaned over 10, 000 square ft of concrete, including the loading dock, trash areas, sidewalks and about 1 / 4 way up the particular side of the massive Home Website box store upon "A-Street" and, 500 shopping carts. The good news is, our Power Cleaning Hero, is paid both a pair earnings and a per-square foot commission. Tonight he worked only, but it has been cold, so they spent a great part of typically the evening making the two fog and ice cubes. The night before he cleaned 4 1/2 quick food restaurants, typically the night before that he cleaned some sort of large parking composition, the night prior to that an arena, with a smaller crew of three, but tonight this individual worked alone. They didn't mind, this individual can keep your 15% commission on the job, which in turn adds another $90. 00 to their paycheck next 7 days. When he interviewed for the job these people asked if he wouldn't mind functioning nights, which this individual preferred when he enjoys to sleep throughout. He gets upward around 1 or 2 pm plus goes to sleep around sun-rise. From first it took your pet a while to obtain use to these hours, now they has no interest in changing. Sooner or later, he would enjoy to own their own business, although on this night time, he just delighted to function without anyone looking over him all the time, telling him what to do. As long as he or she gets all the particular work done, with no complaints, they pretty much can feel like he functions for himself anyhow. And on this night he obtained done in report time, thanks in order to the rain, which speed up the particular process and preserved him a stop throughout cleaning the shopping carts using a blow-up kids children's pool in order to collect the clean water. By possessing the shopping buggies already wet, that saved one stage in the cleaning process. As being the Owner of The Rinse Guys, a mobile washing and cleanup franchising company often folks ask me personally what it is usually like to carry out the sort of work the teams do. Not necessarily long ago a few students; Mike plus Colin, from Ryerson University in Ontario Canada, asked myself to describe a working day in the living of a power-washing employee. Before I actually started franchising my personal company, I ran a power-washing device for 10-years, very much like the people we later franchised. Some days, We worked so very difficult, I barely acquired time to rest. I use to laugh to buddies and say; Give thanks to God for soil, that has been a very smart thing to be able to make the Planet away from on that will first day! Useless to say, all of us never ran out there of, something usually needed washing. I actually have cleaned bridges, buildings, trucks, trains, runways, sidewalks, rubbish compactors, shopping carts, insides of automobile washes, chicken coops, wind generators, gondolas, stadiums, amusement leisure areas, factories, and effectively I really could go upon forever, over the years I have cleaned all this. Carefully, watching the surroundings and putting the particular dirt back wherever it belonged. Frequently , I have considered with all the a "Hydro-Twister" (a device the size of some sort of lawn mower of which swirls the high-pressure hot water on to the part doing flat-work (concrete) that if mankind ever vanished, mother nature would claim back human civilizations in less than the few decades, since the dirt blew and re-covered the entire area. Most employees of power-wash services make pretty-good money, much higher than minimum wage. Power-wash companies that do a combination associated with property management providers and street capturing generally pay the highest. ServiceMaster features power-washing services accessible and some with their employees are employed by the company on company owned units, while some other employees hired directly by franchisees involving the company. Many have benefits like part of their particular pay. Today we see many foreign nationals who use up power washing as an enterprise, generally these firms start-up and participate in the subway economy, therefore the staff are paid in cash , nor get benefits. Typically, this kind of is unfortunate likewise since these compact companies do not necessarily comply with environmental needs of local NPDES permits, such because blocking from the storm drains and getting rid of the wash-water wealthy, while cleaning gas stations, parking lots, drive-thrus at QSRs (quick-service restaurants) or rubbish areas. Generally, staff are paid pretty by legitimate firms and on the bottom end from the pay out scale by brand new market entrants which in turn not follow every one of the rules, and some sort of legitimate company offers to perform as promised and there is a competitive aspect regarding good quality workers. This means regarding now, with low-unemployment figures (under a few. 5%) it is just a decent job. Many cities, transit districts plus companies hire their own power-washers in one facility, who are compensated perfectly, with advantages. https://telegra.ph/Each-day-in-the-Lifestyle-of-a-Power-Cleaning-Employee---Case-Study-05-18 will notice them out there at night cleaning tour bus stops, facilities, cement and side moves, sometimes you observe them out operating during the working day. Often , such employees is going to do other work along with their own general job explanation. For example, a playing golf cart preventative upkeep employee may also power washing the amenities at the Club and clean typically the golf with the company's pressure washing machine. In the long term, this type of job will be created by robotics, already there are businesses, in Michigan, Montana and California that will have developed trailer-able shopping cart cleaning units, that appearance like a mini-car wash. This stops the spread regarding diseases for buyers and it is a much far better process to collect the dirty waste material wash-water affluent.

#cleaning service

[ganymedesclock]

These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.

1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?

2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?

In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.

Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.

Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.

My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.

For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:

Research is your friend

Think about broad conventions of ableism

Be mindful of cast composition

1. Research is your friend

Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:

What's the story on this character's disability?

Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)

And that dovetails into:

What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?

This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.

Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.

2. Think about broad conventions of ableism

It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:

Failing the “heartwarming dog” test

This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.

Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.

Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user. 

It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.

This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.

Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand

A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:

Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!

The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.

Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.

(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)

On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.

The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”

As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.

Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.

Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.

BUT.

It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”

This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.

You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.

Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!

Disability accommodations are part of life

This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!

Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist. 

(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)

3. Be mindful of cast composition

This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!

Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!

Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!

The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.

-

Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!

#disability #writing ruminations #readmore

[asssikawa]

pretty boy swag

i was just in a silly goofy mood, dont take it seriously pls;; gojo x gn! reader

summary: gojo being a pick me boy for you

AU where curses don’t exist; tw underaged smoking and drinking courtesy of shoko. art by @reiouta

you didn’t know how much longer you could tolerate the menace to society; satoru gojo. as of the passing recent months, he started actually acknowledging your existence after months of hanging around his acquaintances. you weren’t sure if you missed that he walked past you as if you were thin air, constantly bumping shoulders with him or gojo actually pestering you in the name of “wanting to get closer.”

walking down the empty halls of your school, you had memorized each route gojo and his group walked down… just to avoid them. an all too familiar voice followed by a song boomed in the empty hallways; dread immediately rose in you, as you attempted to pick up speed to lose track of the white haired teen. “pretty boy coming through,” he said in a sing-a-long voice, his eyes landing on your distant figure. “(name)!” he called out, making you flinch. slowly, you turned your head, a forced smile burning the sides of your mouth.

“hey gojo,” you squeaked out; you wished you could beat yourself up for sounding so meek. on gojo’s sides, two others peered out, the more tolerable ones from the group; suguru getou and shoko ieiri. a sigh of relief left your mouth upon seeing the two. getou’s usual content expression morphed into one of a sly fox.

“now gojo, it’s not nice to scare the underclassmen. you should know better,” getou said, followed up by shoko’s sarcastic tsk tsk of disappointment.

“right? what would poor utahime think about you bothering her best friend?” shoko said. she wore gojo’s sunglasses, adjusting them every now and then when they slid down her high nose bridge.

you take it back. they were just as bad as him.

gojo’s mouth opened to say something, but the bell cut him off. saved by the bell; quite literally. “get to class,” he said instead, another smirk splitting his face.

“i plan to,” you deadpanned, before hastily rushing to your first period, math. never have you wanted to be in math class so bad until gojo popped into your life. hell, you weren’t even good at math.

why had he started tormenting you out of all people? there was nothing particularly extraordinary about you; maybe it was the fact you were close to utahime? or nanami and haibara?

lost in your thoughts and endless possibilities, you had missed the bell ringing until the bubbly boy peered over your desk. his doe-like eyes scanned your dazed out face. “(name)? earth to (name)?” haibara said, waving his hand in front of your face. the taller blond man sighed, watching you finally snap out of your thoughts.

“you don’t even have any of the notes written, (name), that isn’t good for the quiz tomorrow,” nanami said, pulling out his composition book, before beckoning you to take the notebook.

“kenny,” you started.

“i’ll take that notebook right back if you call me that again.”

“you are godsent,” you said, batting your eyelashes his way. a hearty laugh emitted from haibara, his bright smile nearly lit up nanami’s mood once more.

“what’s got you thinking so hard?” haibara asked, draping his body over the seat while watching you pack up.

“surely if you’re thinking, it’s never good,” nanami muttered, earning an offended ‘hey’ from you. pressing your cheek against your balled fist, letting out a small hum. do you tell them or not?

“it’s just that, you know how gojo had never acknowledged me before? he’s been non stop pestering me these days and i’m thinking to myself; why? he couldn’t possibly like utahime and trying to get information out of me, she hates his guts!” you exclaimed, adjusting the bag over your shoulders. the duo glanced at each other, focusing back on you.

“(name), have you considered that he may like you? you know? have a crush?” haibara said, scratching the back of his head. you stayed silent for a while, pondering on the idea of gojo liking you.

“that’s a joke right,”

“why are you so pessimistic about people actually taking interest in you, romantically?” nanami asked, leaning against the desk.

“no romantic attention from anyone my entire life,” you said, standing from your seat.

“how lonely,” haibara responded.

~

the last few periods went by quicker than expected. the ring of the bell pulled you out of your thoughts, turning away from the window. it was surprisingly beautiful for this time of year; the skies were blue, soft fluffy clouds passed every now and then. the occasional gust of wind rattled windows of your class as your teacher paused his lecture. you preferred the gloomy weather, but seeing the clear skies was nice. packing up your materials and standing, you peered out the door, widening your eyes. down the hall was your trio of haibara, nanami and utahime… speaking to the other trio. utahime’s raven hair was tied in a low ponytail, a vague look of annoyance washed over on her face as gojo spoke, her expression softened every time shoko had interjected the conversation. you always wondered why the two aren’t dating yet. nanami’s eyes landed on your figure, his fingers pointed downwards towards the steps, in hopes gojo hadn’t seen you yet.

unfortunately for the both of you, he had caught notice of nanami’s subtle hand motions and followed his eyes towards you. “wow, it’s (name)! we were just waiting on you!” gojo said, his sunglasses shifted downwards, revealing his icicle blue eyes. utahime turned towards you, mouthing an ‘i am so sorry.’ reluctantly, your feet dragged along the halls, it felt as if weights were tied around your ankles. eventually, you made it towards the group; gojo’s long arm draped around your shoulders. your heart raced at the sudden gesture, heat raising to your face. “wouldn’t we be so cute together? look how big my hand is compared to theirs!” he exclaimed, his hand engulfed in yours.

“nah, you guys wouldn’t, sorry he’s so annoying, (name). no wonder why getou gets more hoes than you,” shoko said, pulling out a single cigarette and a lighter from her bag. her auburn eyes met yours, “want one?”

“shoko! how many times do i have to say not to smoke? and (name) is young too!” utahime sighed, earning a small ‘sorry’ from the girl. the black haired teen peered over at you, another sly expression settling over his face.

“say, satoru; let me compare hands with (name) too, i want to see something,”

“you can compare from afar,” gojo responded, pulling you closer to his side. a chesire cat grin split shoko’s face, slinging her arm over your body as well.

“cmon satoru, sharing is caring~” her body smelt of husky tobacco, traces of pinewood on her uniform. her breath smelt like strawberry bubblegum; her glossed lips came closer to your ear, “play along,” she whispered, her brunette strands brushing against your cheek. a snore followed by a scoff came from gojo’s scrunched up expression.

“don’t you have a bottle of vodka you should be downing? besides (name) doesn’t like girls like you,” he said, sticking out his tongue.

“well, why don’t we ask (name), what do you say?”

“don’t put them on the spot like that; seriously, you guys, you’re third years for pete’s sake,” utahime swatted shoko’s arm off your body whilst poking gojo’s side, making him squeal as he let go of you. a frown replaced his usual cocky expression.

“geez utahime, i didn’t take you as the jealous type- ouch, what was that for?” gojo exclaimed, the water bottle bouncing off his head. he rubbed his head. you stared at haibara’s sympathetic expression, still processing everything that happened within a matter of minutes.

just what the fuck was going on?

weeks had passed since that incident and things had become fairly normal again. your grades were flourishing, with the help of haibara and nanami. the three of you have been hanging out more often; utahime and shoko finally started dating. the two of them occasionally tagged along with your trio. gojo has finally stopped pestering you; you should be happy, no? you had convinced yourself that you didn’t miss the attention from the white haired teen. everything you did felt empty without his presence.

you had memorized each hallway gojo and his group walked down, passing through them; in hopes he would stop you, calling your name in his usual whiny voice. you didn’t hear his favorite song; no more him bringing you close with his lanky arms. subconsciously, you brought your hand close to your shoulders, feeling the ghost of gojo’s touch. “(name)? what are you doing here? more like, why are you standing there?” a feminine voice called out. you turned, seeing shoko standing down the hall, her bag slugged over her shoulder, a lit cigarette dangled from the corner of her lips.

“shoko,” her name left your lips in a hushed whisper. “why are you here?” she quirked her lip to the side, pursing her pink lips.

“i’m heading to see menace 1 and menace 2, now, answer my question. you hardly come around these parts,” shoko said, leaning against the wall.

“can i come with you?”

“huh… ah, you miss gojo?” overwhelming amounts of embarrassment washed over your expression; you could already sense your face radiating in heat.

“whatever! i just want to check up on him, that’s all.”

walking down the road, you and shoko conversed, her short auburn tresses blowing in the wind. the roads and sidewalks were painted orange as the sun nestled under the skyline.

“i thought you stopped smoking?” you asked, as shoko tossed the finished cigarette on the sidewalk, stomping on it.

“i’m trying for utahime, but it gets hard when i’m stressed, you know? especially with dumb and dumber,” she said, pulling out a silver flask.

“shoko!”

“what? do you want a sip?”

“no!”

sitting at the park, getou and gojo awaited shoko’s arrival. squinting his eyes at the distance, getou spotted two figures walking towards them. “looks like shoko has company,” getou mentioned, looking back at his taller companion. a frustrated groan left gojo; his glasses slipping down his face.

“good god, if she brings utahime again,” he responded, extending his arms on the bench, his legs spread out. a sly smirk twitched onto getou’s face.

“hey shoko and (name)!” getou exclaimed, waving. gojo’s half-lidded eyes shot open at your name, adjusting his sunglasses. his lanky body rose from the bench, straightening out his sluggish position. he cleared his throat, crossing his legs over each other. upon seeing getou and shoko greet one another, your eyes drifted off to the white haired male sitting in the background, avoiding eye contact with you. a crestfallen expression washed over your face, shuffling over to gojo.

“hey, gojo,” you said softly, sitting across from him. he let out a hum of acknowledgement before looking down at the painted bench. “why have you been avoiding me?”

“why have i been avoiding you? i don’t know (name), maybe just maybe, it’s because i don’t want to bother you with my advances, y’know? could be a contributor i guess, i don’t know, it’s a mystery,” gojo responded, traces of sarcasm in his usual bright voice. he was quite literally a child, huh? your mind recoiled, a frown twitching onto your face. is this who you really want to date?

“listen, i know, and i’m sorry; i just miss you a lot, okay? i like you by my side,” you muttered the last part to yourself. unfortunately for you, gojo had heard every single bit of it.

“huh? what did you say?” he teased, resting his hand on top of yours. his glasses slide down his nose, revealing his ice blue eyes. “you like me, eh?”

“don’t push it.”

the winter semester rolled by rather quickly. walking into the heated building, you removed your outside shoes and scarf. after preparing yourself for the long day, you walked down the hallway, spotting your group down the hallway. peering over the group, gojo waved at you with a big smile, his cheeks and nose tip flushed red from the cold. “babe!” he said, walking over to you with opened arms. heat rose to your face, as he wrapped his arms around you, peppering your face with small kisses. his cold fingers cupped your feverish skin. “my own personal heater,” he said.

“hey, get a room, you two,” shoko said, pulling out an unlit cigarette. utahime frowned at her, as shoko mumbled a small sorry before putting away the cigarette.

“i know miss locking lips isn’t talking,” gojo sneered back. “guys look at how cute (name) is compared to me! their hands are so small!” he gushed, pressing your warm hands against his.

if it were you four months ago, you’d rip away your hand in disgust, however, a warm smile split your face, holding onto his long slender fingers.

“look they are even holding onto me,” gojo said, as the bell rang. everyone shuffled around to their respective classes as you and your group stayed at the end of the hall. with a smirk, his white eyelashes fluttered under his sunglasses. they slowly went down his nose bridge, exposing his beautiful eyes once more. “get to class.”

#gojou satoru x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #shoko x utahime #jjk geto #jjk nanami

[therealvinelle]

What are vampires?

(Yes, I changed the title from “What is venom?” a week after publishing and after a whole set of sorry souls reblogged the post. I’m very sorry, but as I sat down to write the follow-up piece I realized that this meta is about vampires, not venom, and the title is no longer appropriate. My perfectionism got the better of me and I’m sorry.)

There’s been a lot of speculation on that in this fandom, here comes my take. It’ll split into four parts, this being part one where I look at what venom does to the human body. In part two I look at hybrids, part three I speculate on what venom is, part four I treat possible origins and raisons d’être of venom.

So, this first part is mostly me regurgitating facts. We won’t get anywhere if we’re not all agreed on what vampires are.

Also, I get very pseudo-scientific in this meta, but I have no education in biology or medicine so I could be wrong about everything. I tried to use good sources, though, so I can’t be entirely off-base.

With that out of the way, LET’S DO THIS.

To create a vampire, you infect a human with venom. This venom spreads throughout the body, altering every cell. The process is complete when the heart stops beating. If the human was injured at the time of infection, they will be healed, as long as the heart keeps beating.

Let’s go through that.

How does the venom spread?

When Bella was bitten by James, Edward was able to suck the venom out. Several minutes passed from she was bitten until Edward sucked the venom out, yet the burn was only reported to be in her hand. By contrast, anyone who’s ever had pharmaceutical administered intravenously knows that blood travels quickly. If venom travelled like any normal fluid, Bella would have said «My hand is on fire. No wait, my arm! No, wait, my torso! No, wait-» and Edward wouldn’t have been able to suck it out.

Additionally, Bella has that scar left by James. The venom had already altered the cells at the entry point.

To me, this sounds like the venom is like Pac-Man, spreading through the body by altering one cell at a time. It’s the only explanation for why it’s so slow. More on that later, though.

How does it alter the cells, and in turn the human body?

Physically, their skin is made impervious and perfectly even, their teeth are straight, razor sharp and white, their bodies impossibly strong, fast, and precise, their senses heightened to an insane degree yet they feel no pain from most physical injuries. Their digestive system is altered so they can only consume blood, preferably human blood, anything non-blood is regurgitated. They’re much more attractive than they were in life. They’re not reliant on oxygen, and their blood doesn’t circulate. They produce their own venom.

Mentally, their minds function at the capacity necessary to even utilize a body like this. They are able to process their heightened sensory input (for example, it’s the brain that interprets visual input from the eyes. For vampires to be able to see better than humans, both eye and brain have to improve), process though much faster than humans, they forget nothing, and they feel emotion and physical sensation more strongly than humans do.

Let’s go through these alterations one by one.

Skin

Frequently likened to marble, vampire skin is as hard as stone. When Bella becomes a vampire, she’s stunned Edward’s flesh now yields to her touch. Before, if she pressed her finger on him, his skin would not yield. The shapeshifters can kill vampires because their fangs are sharp enough to pierce their skin, without that advantage they couldn’t do it. No ordinary weapon could injure a vampire.

The stone skin is an armor, protecting them.

Teeth

As us humans get older, the enamel in our teeth is worn away, revealing the tooth’s underlying yellow color (the dentin). Vampires can live for thousands of years, yet their teeth remain that perfect blinding white. What changed? I see two possible explanations, one being that vampires still have enamel, and it’s too strong to ever be worn away, or they don’t have it because their teeth have been altered to the point where they don’t need a protective layer anymore, and their composition is something completely different from that of human teeth.

I think it’s the latter, as there are two other major changes reported. Their teeth have changed shape, they are now sharp enough to pierce through human or vampire skin. They’re also venomous (more on that later), able to inject anybody they bite, fellow vampires included, with venom.

There’s also the fact that vampires are changed on a molecular level, but more on that later.

Strength, speed, and precision

Meta I wrote on vampire strength disparity.

Vampires are ridiculously powerful, no upper limit (as in, «Newborn Emmett can carry 500 tonnes») is given, but whatever it is it’s high. Alice might just be the physically weakest vampire in the saga (Jane is physically smaller, but she eats properly. Alice lives on a subpar diet), but to Bella it makes no difference, Alice blows her out of the park anyway. Edward, a malnourished and not too strong vampire, is easily able to pick up entire trees by the roots, and then throw them at a small target.

As for speed, vampires move faster than the human eye can register, which according to this article means they can reach a speed of 38 146 mph! (61 390 km/h for us metric people) (Also, the traveling object used for this calculation was a ball, and the article specifies that it would be different for bigger objects. Alas I’m not going to bother my physicist friend with this, so we’re using the ball number.)

When it comes to precision, vampires exercise perfect muscle control. They’re so graceful their steps can’t be heard by humans,  Edward can famously stroke a soap bubble without popping it, and they’re able to perfectly mimic the handwriting of others (a task anyone who’s ever googled forensic calligraphy will know is next to impossible). Much of this appears to be instinctual, like a downloaded .vampire package. Knowing how to attack prey, where to bite, that all happens on autopilot. So too does running, jumping, walking (funny how their default mode, even Carlisle’s, is to walk too quietly for their designated prey to detect). Snarling, hissing, and growling are also distinctly non-human manners vampire adopt.

Senses

Heightened sight, hearing, and smell is extremely useful. It makes them much more effective hunters. The smell especially is useful here, but really, all their senses are invaluable in this. It’s great for dealing with fellow vampires as well, they can see, hear, and smell their kind coming from a far distance.

There’s an added advantage, though. As I got into here, and here, if a vampire’s memories of their human life is dull and washed out compared to their brilliant new existence, dismissing humans as equally deserving of life becomes that much easier to justify. Heightened emotions serves this same purpose, though considering their longevity I think this is another form of survival, that they’re wired not to grow bored with life (but this is really for a separate meta).

There’s also the fact that their senses have to be tuned up to 11 to fit their other enhanced abilities. There’s no use in super-speed if you can’t see where you’re going.

Vampires’ heightened senses make them more efficient predators, and help them become the bloodthirsty sociopaths we know and love.

Pain receptors, or lack thereof

Vampires feel pain when they are thirsty, when their limbs are torn off, when they are bitten by other vampires (it appears to be the venom that stings), or when subjected to a gift that induces pain (Jane, Kate). They don’t feel pain like humans do, nor do they feel discomfort (they can sit indefinitely in any position, never feeling the need to shift around.

Interestingly, it looks to me like pain serves the same function for them as it does for humans. The brain registers pain to tell us something, a biological error message. Don’t walk on that leg, it’s injured. Get your hand off the hot stove and don’t put it there again. Pain is useful.

Vampires, by contrast, are not going to get injured from someone hitting them. There are no blood vessels that can burst, no soft tissue that can burst nor bones that can break. So, no need for their brains to register that as pain. Humans need to change positions every now and then for the sake of our circulation and so we don’t develop pressure ulcers (and I’m sure there are more reasons), vampires have no circulation and, as mentioned above, their skin is armor. No pressure ulcers.

What they do need pain for, is to let them know to feed. That’s the big one, and in turn the strongest one. The pain of the thirst is unbearable, as it has to be to turn a human who was infected with venom into a killer. It’s survival. Same goes for feeling pain when their limbs are torn off, or their bodies damaged by a bite. Their pain receptors let them know to avoid this next time.

As for Jane and Kate’s gifts, this may not serve a purpose for other vampires, but it serves a purpose for Jane and Kate. It protects them. So, sucks for everyone else, but that’s what gifts do, they give the gift-haver a leg up on others.

Digestive system

Carlisle had spent many years attempting to understand our immortal anatomy; it was a difficult task, based mostly on assumption and observation. Vampire cadavers were not available for study.

His best interpretation of our life systems was that our internal workings must be microscopically porous. Though we could swallow anything, only blood was accepted by our bodies. That blood was absorbed into our muscles and provided fuel. When the fuel was depleted, our thirst intensified to encourage us to replenish our supply. Nothing besides blood seemed to move through us at all. (Midnight Sun, chapter Home)

Ignoring the horrifying fact that the context for this quote is Edward wondering if Bella’s tear could stay in his system forever, this here is extremely interesting and I agree. Partly because I can’t think of anything better, partly because Carlisle is an in-universe medical genius who’s had access to far more data than I have. He can run experiments, I can’t. Even if I came up with a theory I thought was better, if blood absorption through porous tissue is Carlisle’s best theory then there must be evidence in favor of this which I don’t have access to. So, porous tissue it most likely is.

(Also, my «Carlisle totally volunteered for vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra» theory survives that first paragraph. Vampire cadavers might not be available for study, but live ones absolutely are, you just pick them apart and put them back together after, and bring in Corin and/or Alec so the guinea pig has a good time too. There’s no way that never occurred to Aro. Even if it didn’t, it’s bound to have occurred to someone over the years, and Aro touches a lot of people. And we know he and Carlisle discussed what vampires even were, that they were best friends and all about that science.

We also know that sometimes, your weird science experiments involving dismemberment and tripping on Corin in Volterra, stay in Volterra. The tissue is porous, Edward, DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW.)

This has huge implications. What happened to the digestive system they used to have?

It’s still there, but non-operational.

Middle solution: it’s recognizably there, but welded shut. At some point, whatever the vampire ingests hits an untraversable boundary, and from there the blood is absorbed while any other matter remains, undigested (though possibly dissolved by venom) until regurgitated.

The vampire’s inner anatomy is unrecognizable from that of a human. Vampires have no need for livers, bowels, gall bladders, and so on, and so these organs no longer exist, or have even been replaced by other organs (assuming vampires need any, more on that later).

My vote lies with the third option, though both second and third are possible. The first one, not so much, as it means that in theory, they could force something through their system. They can’t.

More, vampires are nothing if not extremely efficient and economical organisms. They don’t need to feel pain from a physical blow, so they don’t. Why carry around these organs they’re not using?

Then there’s what they even need their digestive system to do. Humans need the nutrients in our meals not just as fuel, but as- well, everything. We need the building blocks for our cells. Our bodies are constantly renewing themselves. Vampires, by contrast, don’t appear to do this. There’s no waste of any kind, and their skin doesn’t get flaky. Edward specifically says blood is fuel, and I think that’s a literal interpretation.

Now we’re veering into speculation territory, and this isn’t the place for it just yet as we’re veering into what venom is and does, but I think whatever digestive process vampires have, serves to turn their blood to venom. I don’t think there’s any particular organ for this, I think that’s just because that’s what happens when venom comes into contact with blood. We see it happen when humans are bitten, and I think it’s fair to assume that the same thing happens when venom comes into contact with ingested blood.

This also helps explain why animal blood isn’t equal to human blood. Animals can’t be turned to vampires, it’s blood but venom and animal blood aren’t on the same FM, so to say. So, with no better option, yes venom can make do with animal blood, but it won’t perform as well as it would with human blood. The vampire is now weaker, with the frankly terrifying side effect that their eyes change color. We’re so used to this that we just go «oh, yeah, animal blood means their eyes turn yellow. It’s like a LED light letting you know which diet the vampire is on!» when in any other organism, a chance of color like that is usually the sign of something being wrong. Blue lips, yellow sclera, red urine, all color changes that point to something not being not as it should be.

Now, to go further here would mean getting more into what venom even is, which is best saved for part three. I’ll say this, venom appears to be the only fluid in the vampire body. It’s moistens their eyes (and melts their contacts), pools in their mouth, is injected through their fangs, and the application of venom to a wound makes them heal faster. Venom is the substance they rely on, more so even than blood, their elixir of life. (My speculation on how Edward was able to impregnate Bella is reserved for the hybrid/what is venom metas).

Also, on what vampires carry over from their human bodies, I do think they’re economical enough to not fix what ain’t broken. I think this because the human nervous system is absolutely brilliant, and indeed Bella regains sensation during her transformation where her spine had once been broken and unable to communicate with her brain. Question is, of course, was this because her new vampire body still uses the human nervous system, or did Bella regain sensation because her transformation had gotten to a point where this was no longer the case?

Beauty

The beauty part has gotten some very valid criticism, as beauty is very subjective and venom makes it out to be an objective, empirically measurable unit.

To caveat first, we see in canon that not all vampires are gorgeous. James was an ugly human, and so as a vampire he’s no beauty. Maggie was emaciated and not particularly attractive, so she’s bony and not hot by vampire standards. The Cullens, by contrast, were attractive humans. Human Bella is a hottie, she pulls all the guys without issue. If she were as plain as she thinks she is, she wouldn’t get male attention. Being new is only gonna get her so far. Jasper was turned because Maria thought he was a cutie, and same goes for Emmett with Rosalie.

(There’s also a certain inherent bias - I imagine attractive people have a much higher chance of getting turned than uglies.)

More, understand that vampires don’t look human. They’re flawless, desirable, perfect, yes - but they are very distinctly not human, and humans know as much instinctively:

Like any normal human, suddenly standing just a foot away from a vampire would send adrenaline racing through his veins. Fear would twist in his stomach for just a fraction of a second, and then his rational mind would take over. His brain would force him to ignore all the little discrepancies that marked me as other. His eyes would refocus and he would see nothing more than a teenage boy. I watched him come to that conclusion, that I was just a normal boy. I knew he would be wondering what his body’s strange reaction had been about. (Midnight Sun, chapter 21, page 547)

Vampires are beautiful in the way the Nefertiti bust is beautiful. It’s perfect, otherworldly, timelessly beautiful, but looking at it you know this is a bust and not a living human woman.

With that in mind, I think some of the vampire’s unnatural beauty is… not circumstantial, but happy bonuses to their other qualities. Their perfect skin, for instance, goes a long way towards making them beautiful. Perfectly smooth, a glowing white, no disruptions like blackheads, scarring, or sweat. At one point Bella describes Rosalie as looking airbrushed. Their perfect teeth, impeccable grace, these features also help.

Now, I think when venom makes a human more beautiful, I think the big thing it does is make the features perfectly symmetrical. This by itself is immediately inhuman and unnatural, more computer generated than human, just perfect enough to tick off the uncanny valley box. This would explain the flawlessness Bella keeps describing in vampires. It also explains the disparity in beauty, the features Rosalie had to work with and get symmetrical were lovelier than the ones James had, and why they can look completely different from each other yet share that same kind of uncanny impeccability. It also explains how people of wildly different face types and ethnicities can all be beautiful, the venom won’t erase the features you had but rather refine them into the best they can be.

I do think that refinement, in addition to symmetry, happens. If it didn’t, the change wouldn’t be so radical from human to vampire. More, all vampires are described as having sharp features, Esme stands out for the fact that she retained some of her human softness. So, the venom appears to make features more angular and, well, sharp.

Aro’s description is in favor of my interpretation of vampiric beauty: 

I couldn't decide if his face was beautiful or not. I suppose the features were perfect. But he was as different from the vampires beside him as they were from me. His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate (New Moon, page 234)

His features are flawless, meaning symmetrical. He should be beautiful, so it’s the skin that gives her pause.

There’s also the matter that beauty is observed in the body, not just the form. They all look strong and limber, even the tiniest of vampires. I imagine some of this is simply texture, that vampires are made hard, smooth, and perfect, but we have this from Bella looking in the mirror after waking up a vampire:

She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl. (Breaking Dawn, page 261)

Fluid even in stillness, her limbs smooth and strong. This woman was starving to death when she died. Combined with the fact that Edward, who was a sick 17-year-old, has muscle definition, it seems venom does body sculpting as well. Though it’s worth noting that hydration goes a long way towards muscle definition for humans, so the change in fluid composition in vampires could have something to do with it their limber appearance.

Then there’s the other vampire beauty markers.

Their voices are described quite unusually, with words like wind chimes, bells, or feathers. They’re beautiful, but, like everything else about vampires, inhuman. When Carlisle calls Billy on the phone, Billy immediately recognized the voice as somehow wrong, it’s too clear and sharp.

I mean, I think in part this is because their vocal cords aren’t made of soft human tissue anymore, but most likely stone. No matter what they’re made of, though, it’s no surprise that we’re not getting human voices out of them.

Their scent is appetizing to humans and other vampires alike, and serves a duel purpose. Humans are attracted to them (well, vampires are too), while vampires are able to use it for tracking purposes. It’s tremendously useful for keeping track of your territory, as randos can’t walk in and eat your food and sneak off again without leaving a trail. It’s also good for meeting up with friends, we see Carlisle and Siobhan use it for this purpose in Midnight Sun.

Circulation

The purpose of blood is to carry oxygen and nutrients to the cells. Apparently, this isn’t a need vampires have. All they need is venom. The theory that their tissue is porous adds to this, as it would mean blood travels through their body in a different manner. The porous tissue replaces circulation.

So, no circulation for vampires because they don’t need it.

This meta is now getting ridiculously long, so I’m putting the venom production section in the venom meta.

The transformation

The transformation is complete when the heart stops beating. The former human is now a vampire, and no longer reliant on a heartbeat, nor oxygen. In this they are different from hybrids.

As for the process itself, I think that as the venom spreads, it starts multiplying on its own. This is why it took longer for Carlisle than it did Bella, she was bitten and injected multiple times and on every part of her body while Carlisle was grazed on the arm. Bella had more venom that could work on her, Carlisle did not. These facts support my theory of the slow spread of venom.

I’ve played with the thought of the transformation happening in stages, where the first act is the spread of the venom, which then spreads throughout the body and heals the body to put it at default, the second act is the bodysculpting, and the third act the finishing touches. It doesn’t quite fit with venom transforming as it goes, though, so I’m very hm on that.

A few observations:

Activity level doesn’t appear to help spread the venom. Carlisle exerted himself, and his transformation took far more time than normal (though lying still instead of contorting in agony probably doesn’t help in that regard). Bella laid still as a corpse, and her transformation took far less time than normal. The venom spreads in its own time, regardless of what the blood circulation is up to.

Going by the accounts of the Cullens, while the pain is constant, the transformation hurts increasingly as the venom spreads.

Bella was severely injured, and needed to be healed before she could even feel all the pain. Her broken spine, for instance, meant she couldn’t feel below the waist.

Carlisle said it’s «easier if the blood is weak» (cryptic much?! Not making it easy for me, dude. Though as this was said in the context of Edward explaining that Carlisle would only turn someone already dying, I do think he’s referring to what it’s like for vampires, though, that humans are not so tempting if they’re half dead.)

Healing

Now we’re veering into the venom meta, but: the transformation fixes anything that could impede the vampire’s function. Bella would get nothing done with her post-birth broken body, and so she’s fixed up for her. Alice’s emaciation means she’s thin and less strong than others, it doesn’t physically prevent her from doing anything.

The venom, it appears, heals the human not because it’s being altruistic, nor to make the vampire more appealing to others, but to make the human into an ideal host. BUT MORE ON THAT IN THE VENOM META.

With that, my god we’re done. And this meta is  words in total, an ugly number.

Lastly, I know that putting a read more at the end of a 4k long meta is the worst joke in the world (RIP to you poor souls scrolling past this. My reason for not being a read more kind of gal to be found here)

Nothing yet, I’m afraid.

#long post #had to delete immediately after posting because i hadn't actually written anything in the skin section #so i deleted rather than having people reblog before it was ready #ops #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight vampires #twilight venom #twilight biology #vampire biology #also i am very proud of the way my ship snuck into the post #sorry not sorry but it's a bedbug ship #it won't stay out of my stuff #edit: can't count. wrote five parts

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Prompt: Date Night Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier Rating: Gen Content Warnings: None Summary: Geralt ask Jaskier to go to the Yule festival with him. Jaskier misunderstands his intentions.  ao3

“There’s a festival happening tonight.”

Jaskier looked up from where he was working on his latest composition. Geralt was leaning against the doorway to his bedchambers, which Jaskier tended to use as a study as well so that he could reserve the main space for entertaining. He took a moment to set down his quill and wipe his sweaty palm on his trousers. It was almost overly warm in the room, the fire blazing at full height to fight back against the chill of his outward facing chambers. The single, tiny window above his desk ran with moisture, the frost melted away by the heat of the room. 

“Yes,” he answered, turning in his plush chair to face Geralt fully, one ankle coming up to cross over his knee. “There’ll be a procession at sunset starting at the main gate, to light the lanterns. And then dancing and such in the main square. Typical Yuletide celebrations.” As he spoke, Jaskier allowed himself to observe Geralt in full, briefly sweeping a glance over his companion. It was exceptionally rare for them to spend winters together; Geralt almost always chose to spend the colder months in Kaer Morhen with his brothers, while Jaskier returned to civilization. This year they had been deep in southern Sodden when the first snows unexpectedly hit, and by the time they’d made it back to Redania they’d received word from Vesemir that the pass to Kaer Morhen was closed. Jaskier had been offered a position teaching for the winter semester, along with a fairly lucrative retainer with a local lordling, so he’d offered Geralt a place to crash while they waited for the witchering season to start up again.

The downtime suited Jaskier’s companion nicely. Geralt’s hair was pulled back into a customary knot behind his head, but it was clean and soft looking, free of dirt and monster guts. His skin shone in the firelight, and the dark circles that always seemed smudged beneath his eyes were faded after weeks of consistent rest and food. He’d taken to walking around without his armor on, content after a few days with the knowledge that Oxenfurt was populated by nothing more threatening than overenthusiastic academics. At the moment he was wearing a pair of old black trousers and a dark blue shirt that stood out against his white skin like a splash of wine on a silk tablecloth. It had cost Jaskier a small fortune, but it was worthwhile to see it clinging to Geralt’s shoulders.

He looked good. Jaskier felt his cheeks heat up as he realised he’d been staring. Snapping back to the conversation at hand, he realized that Geralt had been speaking. 

“- if you wanted to.”

“Sorry, what?” Jaskier asked, blinking. Geralt rolled his eyes, used to Jaskier’s lapses in attention. The motion carried annoyance, but when his eyes fell on Jaskier again there was fondness in them. 

“I asked if you’d planned on attending. Seems like the kind of thing you’d be working.” Strong arms crossed over a broad chest, stretching the dark fabric across thick biceps. Jaskier swallowed. 

“Ah, well, typically I would indeed be regaling the crowds with my sonorous melodies. But considering I had company, I thought it might be better to leave myself, uh.” He cut himself off, feeling suddenly exposed in the admission. While he had taken the time off initially hoping he might be doing something with Geralt, he hadn’t truly expected the witcher to want to do more than maybe get drunk on overpriced Redanian wine. “Well. You’re here, after all,” he finished lamely. 

Geralt blinked at that, something odd crossing his face before he looked away. Staring at the fire across from Jaskier, he said, “You could still go.”

Something was off about his tone - overly flat, which he only did when he was trying to muffle some kind of emotion. What it could be, Jaskier had no earthly idea. Confused, he said, “Well, I wouldn’t want to leave you all by yourself on Yule, Geralt. That wouldn’t make me a very gracious host! I’m entirely content to spend the evening with you here, if that’s what you would prefer.” And he was, truly. While he typically spent Yuletide amongst the people, dancing and singing and visiting with friends, he imagined it would be just as rewarding to spend the evening with Geralt, in the cramped comfort of his quarters. The two of them tipsy on ale and spirits, sitting before the fire, trading stories back and forth like they usually did on the road. Cuddled beneath a blanket, pressed up against each other despite the warmth of the hearth, drink making Geralt’s face flush as it almost never did…

Yes, Jaskier imagined he would be perfectly content to spend the evening right here. 

Geralt let out a frustrated huff. “I mean, we could go. If you want. I - We should go. Together.”

It was choppy work, even for Geralt. He still refused to meet Jaskier’s gaze, staring with absolute focus at the fire. His shoulders were braced, tense as if waiting for a blow. It was baffling. 

“Well, of course, if you’d like to go I’m amenable to that,” Jaskier agreed. “More than, actually. It’s great fun, you’ll see.” 

Geralt finally turned to look Jaskier in the eye. A shiver traveled down his spine at the intensity there, but then again, that was how he often felt under that golden gaze. “Together,” Geralt said again.

“I wouldn’t want to go with anyone else,” Jaskier said with a dismissive wave, laughing a little. It was typical to attend the festivities with a spouse or sweetheart, but he’d not taken a paramour of any kind in several months, and nothing serious in years, if he was honest. His attention was unfortunately captured elsewhere. He spared a single moment to mourn the private evening he’d envisioned with Geralt, but he was already warming to the idea of attending the festivities. He’d already shown the witcher around Oxenfurt, but it was exciting to think of showing the city off again in a new light. Geralt had probably not attended many Yule festivals, he realized, having always spent the winters in the mountains. Something released in his chest even as his stomach dropped in disappointment as he realized Geralt probably didn’t even recognize the romantic implications of his offer. 

Geralt, at least, looked relieved. The tension dropped from his shoulders, and he gave Jaskier a soft smile. Jaskier’s traitorous heart skipped in his chest, and Geralt’s grin suggested that it may have been audible. Jaskier wasn’t sure what to do with himself, hands fluttering across his desk to meaninglessly straighten papers and notes. “Good,” Geralt said, the grin softening back into that disorienting smile. “I’m assuming you’ll want to change.”

“Ah, yes, can’t very well go out in this,” Jaskier agreed, still feeling slightly unmoored.

“Of course,” Geralt said seriously, but his eyes danced with mirth. “I’ve got some things to do in the market before the stalls close. Meet you at the gate at sunset?”

“Perfection,” Jaskier said, and Geralt nodded before peeling himself off of the doorframe and disappearing into the other room. A moment later Jaskier heard the telltale sound of the exterior door opening and closing, the rusty hinges creaking. He sat for a moment in the empty room, going over the encounter in his mind and trying to determine what had made it feel so off.

“Strange,” he said to himself, and began packing up his things. He had a festival to prepare for. 

***

Dressed appropriately in his finest woolen tunic and the thick fur lined cloak Geralt had gifted him the previous year, Jaskier set out from his abode to meet Geralt. An hour or so had passed since their conversation, and the sun was lying low and languorous on the edge of the horizon. Its dying light rippled across the Pontar where it split around the island, the light layer of snow that covered the landscape transformed into gold dust. Already he could see the crowd gathering on the far side of the bridge, led by the priestess of Melitele, returning from the temple outside of the city. Jaskier stood inside the city gates, scanning the faces around him for familiar features. 

After a few moments he saw him - highlighted against the backdrop of the setting sun, his hair turned to fiery gold in the dying light. Geralt smiled when they made eye contact, and immediately began to push his way through the crowd towards Jaskier. He too had dressed for the weather, his own wool cloak muffling his form. As he stepped into Jaskier’s space, he said, “You ready?”

Jaskier had the feeling that he didn’t know exactly what he should be ready for, but he nodded anyway. “They’re just beginning,” he said, waving towards the group approaching on the bridge. It was slow going, the procession stopping every few meters to wait while the priestess lit the lanterns lined up along the walls. They would be at it for the next hour at least, making their way around the circumference of the city to light the protective lanterns and then returning to the bridge, where the large crowd would release their own floating lanterns to carry their prayers for the new year to Melitele. 

“There’s music in the square,” Geralt said, and Jaskier could just barely hear it as well. Normally he would be amongst the performers, but tonight he was there as the audience. 

“The flutist is off key, I can tell already,” he said with a grin, though he could hear no such thing from this distance. Geralt huffed out a laugh and took Jaskier’s arm, just above the end of his glove. Geralt’s fingers were bare, his witcher metabolism keeping him warm enough without them, and they were a cold shock against the skin of Jaskier’s wrist. He let himself be led into the square, which was packed with people. Tables had been set up with food and drink around the edges, while the far side was dominated by a low stage. In the center, couples and groups danced, circling each other in common folk movements. The tune was jaunty and fun, a lively song to help fight back against the dark that threatened the edges of the gathering. Defiant in the best of ways. 

“I don’t suppose you know any of the local dances?” Jaskier asked, already knowing the answer. Geralt confirmed it with a shake of his head. “Well then be a dear and get us some ales, hmm? We can still watch.”

Geralt, for once, did as he was bid without comment, probably just as interested in the alcohol as Jaskier was. He found them a spot to stand near the mouth of an alley, where he hoped the noise of the crowd would be a bit reduced. Geralt was sometimes bothered by the bustle and murmur of a large group of people. 

Geralt rejoined him shortly, offering him a mug of mulled wine. Jaskier took a grateful sip, feeling the hot liquid settle in his gut and warm him from the inside out. It was very good - spicy and strong, just how he liked it. Geralt hummed appreciatively when he took his own drink. 

They stood watching for a while, Jaskier making the occasional snide comment about a bad dancer or an overplayed tune if he thought it would make Geralt laugh. And it did, more often than not; Geralt was open and affectionate this evening, leaning down to whisper conspiratorially in Jaskier’s ear as they watched a couple sneak away from the dancefloor. Jaskier laughed into his glove, quickly beginning to feel light and soupy from the drink. 

“I know this one,” Geralt said suddenly, drawing his attention back to the band. It was a slightly slower song, a couple’s dance. Bright gold eyes turned in Jaskier’s direction. “Want to dance?”

Jaskier gaped. “With you?”

Geralt’s eyebrow quirked upwards, betraying only exasperation. “Don’t see anyone else here making an offer.”

“Well, you - I - Alright,” he said, finally, swallowing his confusion. Geralt offered a hand, and Jaskier accepted. 

They moved out towards the dancers, Jaskier feeling his heart rise in his throat. When they reached the edge of the pack, Geralt turned and gave Jaskier a short bow, overly formal for the setting. With an incredulous laugh, Jaskier returned the motion, and when he raised his head again Geralt was in his space, hands coming up to rest lightly on his waist. 

It shouldn’t have been able to take his breath away so easily, but it did. 

The motions of the dance were simple, basic circular pathways as they stepped out and back in together. Their hands never parted, but every time the steps pulled them apart Jaskier found himself missing Geralt’s warmth beside him. Slowly, the tempo picked up speed, until they were twisting and whirling around without pause. When the song ended, Jaskier was panting for breath. Geralt looked winded himself, though his chest rose and fell at the same rate it always did. 

They made their way off the dance floor once again, ceding their spot to another couple. Geralt’s arm curled around Jaskier’s waist and he leaned into the touch, feeling more drunk than he should be. “You’re good at that, witcher,” he said, accusatorily. “I could have been taking you dancing all this time! How many balls have we been to?”

Geralt flushed faintly, the color staining his ears a fetching red. “The Wolf witchers use techniques that are similar to some dances,” he said. “The pacing, some of the moves, are familiar.” 

“I’m never going to let this go,” Jaskier warned as they shuffled back towards the mouth of their alleyway. “You’re going to have to dance with me at every festival, ball, and banquet we ever attend from now on.”

Geralt smirked at him. “I don’t know that I mind.”

And what was that supposed to mean? Jaskier felt a flush spread down his cheeks, his throat, even his chest felt warm. Geralt didn’t mind dancing? Or didn’t mind dancing with Jaskier? Panicked, he said, “I’m going to get us more drinks!” 

By the time he returned with more warm wine, he had managed to wrestle his emotions back into place. He passed Geralt one of the mugs, giving him a wide grin that he hoped would cover for his accelerated heartbeat. 

As they drank, Jaskier found himself at a loss for words. He was happy to be here, truly. It was always enjoyable to spend time with the object of his affections, but at the same time, he felt something cold settling in his stomach that the wine could not touch. He glanced at Geralt out of the corner of his eye, watching the other man observe the dancers. His hair was in slight disarray from the dancing, his cheeks still slightly flushed, and Jaskier wanted him so badly it felt like a wound. He wished he could lace their fingers together as other couples around the square were. Wished he could sit in Geralt’s lap and feed him sweetmeats and honey cakes as the festivities melted away around them. It was difficult to be so close, and yet so far from what he actually desired. 

Geralt glanced over at him, and something in Jaskier’s face must have betrayed his sudden turn into maudlin, because he didn’t look away. “Should we go?” Geralt asked, concern drawing his brow together. 

Jaskier cursed himself, plastering on another smile. “No, no, dear heart, I’m enjoying myself plenty. The lanterns will probably be lit soon, don’t you think? Maybe we should go find ourselves a spot before the crowd arrives.”

Geralt nodded, still looking a bit worried. It was flattering, that he was clearly concerned about whether Jaskier was having a good time, but it only made him feel more wistful. Not looking to see if his friend was following, Jaskier began to pick his way out of the square, doing his best not to jostle any of the other partygoers. Geralt dogged him like a shadow, and they both emerged some minutes later in the silvery moonlight of the river walk. 

Already Jaskier could see the bridge, some ways away to their left, dotted with lantern lights. The procession had made its way back. He stepped up to the edge of the river, leaning against the low wall that held the city back from its edge. Geralt stayed a step or two behind him, arms crossed against the chill. “This will be a good spot,” Jaskier said, leaning over the railing to point. “They’ll release them there, so we should be able to see them as they go up.”

“They do this every year?” Geralt asked, voice a low rumble. Now away from the noise of the crowd, it shook Jaskier’s bones. 

He nodded. “For the last, hmm, thirty years, I think? The lanterns carry wishes, you see, requests for Melitele. They go up into the heavens, and when they come down they carry her blessing. So they say.”

“Hmm,” Geralt replied. They stood together in silence as the little pinpricks on the bridge became a sea of candlelight, and slowly, one by one, began lifting up into the air. Soon the sky was awash with golden sparks, hovering above them. 

Jaskier leaned against the wall, watching the lanterns make their way skyward. “Wish I’d thought to make one ahead of time,” he said wistfully, watching their lights twinkle in the darkness. “I didn’t know we’d be -” He turned to look at Geralt, who was rummaging around in his bag. “What are you doing?”

With a triumphant huff, Geralt found what he was looking for. He presented it to Jaskier with a sheepish looking grin, an unusually bashful look for the witcher. In his palm was a small square of paper and wood, maybe half the size of the other lanterns being set loose from the bridge. “I found someone selling them earlier,” he said, setting the little thing on the ledge of the wall in front of them. “Thought you might want to join in.”

Jaskier clapped his gloved hands together, delighted. “Oh, it’s just adorable,” he said, feeling his grin pull at his cold cheeks. He picked the thing up, cradling it delicately in his cupped hands. The paper sides were decorated with a floral pattern - tulips, or maybe buttercups. Jaskier reached forward towards Geralt. “Would you light it for me?”

Geralt reached out and snapped, the clean sound cutting through the still air. Immediately the paper in Jaskier’s hands began to warm, the little lantern glowing merrily. Carefully, Jaskier made his way to the edge of the river wall and leaned over the side, letting the lantern rest on his flat hands as it grew lighter. After a moment, it lifted gently off of his palms and started to drift skywards.

Geralt stepped up to join him, their shoulders pressing together as they leaned against the railing, watching their little lantern float up to join the sea of others. A wave of golden light blanketed the city, giving the river an otherworldly glow as it reflected the sky. Jaskier sighed happily, allowing Geralt’s constant warmth to wash over him. He turned to comment on the spectacle, but his words died on his lips as he found Geralt already looking at him. The warmth of the lanterns reflected in his eyes as well, making them glow with their own light in the darkness. Jaskier’s breath caught in his throat, his cheeks warming. 

“This was nice,” Geralt said, his voice pitched low. The rumble of it sent a shiver up Jaskier’s spine. They were so close together, and Jaskier found himself turning into Geralt’s heat like a flower to the sun. 

“Y-yes,” he stuttered, a beat too late. “It’s always a pleasure to spend an evening with you, my friend.”

Geralt hummed, a distracted noise, and lifted his bare hand up to Jaskier’s jaw. “Oh,” Jaskier said, surprise and confusion and clamouring hope blossoming in his chest, and then Geralt was kissing him. 

It was a chaste little thing, but Jaskier felt himself light up at the touch. His own hands came up to grasp Geralt’s hips, the gloves or the shock making him clumsy. Geralt hummed again, a wickedly satisfied sound that made Jaskier shudder embarrassingly. He tasted like mulled wine and cinnamon, the taste lingering on Jaskier’s lips as they pulled away. 

He stared at Geralt for a moment before clearing his throat. “What, erm. What was that for?”

Geralt gazed at him fondly, a thumb skating over Jaskier’s cheekbone. He knew it must be warm to the touch. “I wanted to,” he said, shrugging. “And it’s the customary way to end a romantic outing, I’m told.”

Jaskier blinked at him. “Romantic outing?”

Geralt’s head tilted to the side, giving Jaskier a confused look. “What did you think this was?”

“Oh,” Jaskier said again. “Oh!” He pulled a hand away from Geralt’s side to slap over his own forehead, feeling both extraordinarily foolish and giddy. “God’s above, this was a date?”

Geralt’s expression shuttered slightly, and his fingers slipped from Jaskier’s cheek to his shoulder. “You didn’t realize.”

Jaskier leaned forward, desperate to wipe the nervous look from Geralt’s face. He wrapped his own hands around Geralt’s neck, squeezing the base of his skull slightly. “I’m sorry, dearest, I didn’t, but I am delighted. Ecstatic, overjoyed, elated, euphoric, exultant -”

Geralt laughed, cutting him off. “Alright, I get it. You’re happy.”

“More assuredly so,” Jaskier agreed, grinning. He felt lighter than he had in years, floating on a bubble of joy. “Though I will say, we will probably need to go on another ‘romantic outing’ to be sure we do it right. I won’t have our first real date be one I wasn’t even aware of.”

Geralt leaned back in, his lips ghosting over Jaskier’s. The bard shivered, anticipation making his breath come faster. “I don’t know that I would mind that either,” he said, and then his lips found Jaskier’s once again. Jaskier laughed into the kiss, and knew that there would be many more chances for the perfect date to come. 

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