#this isnt to say that bit doesnt deserve to be laughed at tho

[sheikahwarriork]

Even though Hopes was actually not very good compared to Houses; we gotta appreciate how it mixed up a lot of things and brought a breath of new life to the fandom and I am forever thankful for it even if the rest was not the best for many charcters, what do you think about it?

hi anon, thank you for the ask! oh boy where do i start-

first of all, you should know i LOVE musou games. i love smashing those buttons and defeating hundreds of eniemies. so, when they announced three hopes, i was THRILLED.

but maybe my expectations were a bit too high.

(spoilers about all the routes and endings)

i think the story is fine, but it could have been much better. i like shez, no, i love shez as a character: theyre silly but strong, determinated and yet loving. i like that theyre dubbed, i like their quirky and yet silly comments, i like how they flirt with some characters and yet are completely clueless, and the female VA did a WONDERFUL job. also, i simply ADORE arval. theyre so sassy i always laugh when arval says anything. the dynamic between shez and arval is written better than the one between byleth and sothis imo. (i love sothis too, but i feel her relationship with byleth needed more screentime)

but shez has a problem. (well, actually two.) the first problem is that shez isnt byleth. shez works well with the majority of the cast, but not with the three lords (a bit better with edelgard but still meh). shez's presence in the war doesnt make much sense as byleth's one did in three houses: the fucking school closed like two WEEKS after the lords met shez, they didnt have the time to bond and to know each others as byleth did (cuz, yk, byleth was their fucking teacher for a year). so, even if i like shez A LOT, their presence in fódlan war seems a bit off to me. i wish shez was in a different game overall.

the second, big problem of shez, is that we get to know almost nothing about their past. but this is a writing problem, not of the character themselves. i wanted to know who their mother was, why they are arval's vessel. RIP dlc i guess

about the three routes:

azure gleam: oh boy. OH BOY. the most disappointing of all. i LOVED the first part, for it explores much better all the kingdom's issues and we get more informations about the tragedy of duscur. but, "and then?". i'm gonna be honest dear anon: i dont remember much about the second part of azure gleam, just this big sense of disappointment. i'm actually re-playing it right now, so maybe i'll be back here in a few weeks. anyway, i do remember liking the fact you can save jeritza here tho, mercie deserves her little brother back!

scarlet blaze: the exact opposite of my thoughts about AG: scarlet blaze is a GREAT black eagles route. dont get me wrong, i liked crimson flower (its actually my second fav route of three houses), but being it the shortest one i always felt it was missing something, aka the fight against TWSITD (since, yk, we dont fight them in CF, they just defeat them offscreen in the ending cards. wtf). and in scarlet blaze we got it!!! also edelgard is better written in SB: shes still resolute and yet willing to *not* kill almost everyone on fódlan (i have Opinions about the ending of CF but another time). i never liked how edelgard sides with TWSITD in three houses, and im glad she didnt in SB. i mean, lets kill those bastards gurl!!!!!

golden wildfire: LMAO. ok i must admit i have a big problem: i dont like the golden deers (as a house; i like some of them alone, like marianne and lysithea), and claude is my least favourite lord, and i think verdant wind is the worst route of all three houses. so, GW was the last one i played. aaaaand. it is better than VW! i liked how claude allied with edelgard to defeat the church! i liked how claude is a little bastard plotter in there! as for AG, i think the first part of the route is much better than the second part (if you dont recruit byleth, judith dies in a dumb way just like rodrigue..... claude-routes-dont-copy-other-route's-things challenge). overall, i think GW is much better than VW, bc i think VW i just a weak copy of silver snow (sorry claude)

about the supports overall: some are cute and i like how we get supports between characters that didnt have ones in three houses, like bernadetta and marianne, or bernadetta and dimitri, or ashe and flayn.

and at last we've come to the elephant in the room.... byleth. how did they treat byleth in my opinion? short answer: terrible. long answer: terrible, because byleth doesnt have supports (except for shez and jeralt ikik). like WTF!!!!! give me supports with the lords, at least! let me see the byleth in this timeline, where they arent a professor, where their father isnt dead!!!! and why did they make byleth the ENEMY?? and we can recruit them too late in the game! GIVE ME MY PROFESSOR BACK-

the (one sided) rivalry between shez and byleth doesnt make any sense. "ohh the ashen demon killed my merc company >:[" says shez, just to admit five minutes later that they didnt really care about that company. and yes, okay, shez wants to prove everyone (themselves included) theyre stronger than byleth. thats fine. but here too, shez lets the matter drops too fast. "i will be stronger i will kill youuuuu- oh wait the lord wants you to join our side of the war. guess we're bestie now!". most of the time (before we actually recruit byleth) i get the feeling shez doesnt really give a fuck about the ashen demon, and this could have been okay, IF THEIR RIVALRY WASNT THE POINT OF ALL THE TRAILERS???????? their relationship is not explored well. shez's initial resentment doesnt make any sense bc THEY THEMSELVES say they really didnt care about the company. SO, if even the new protagonist, who was supposed to hate byleth, doesnt actually hate byleth, why make byleth the antagonist in the first place? why do we have to fight byleth? just to have a different fódlan story?¿?¿?

and i'll shut up about how they treated my dimileth in the game. you dont want to open this pandora's box dear anon.

so, the summary is: the gameplay is great bc i love musou games. the additions to the lore are pretty cool. i like that claude has his own original route that makes sense, and that edelgard got a much better written route. byleth deserved better. SHEZ! is fantastic, and arval is one of my fav character of all fódlan games. also i think arval and sothis should kiss

thank you anon for the ask, i enjoyed writing my thoughts on three hopes! hope i didnt bore you to death lmao

#anon ask #fire emblem warriors three hopes #few3h #few3h thoughts #few3h spoilers #yuzu speaks

[r08s]

i asked my friend of aprox 10 years to hang out. it was 11:37 when i send her the message. she was online multiple times on instagram yet nothing. i texted a “?” at 1:20. same thing: active on ig but no reply to me. finally at 4 she responds.

we meet up and i feel just…empty? i know this sounds edgy but for example if i saw her last summer, i would have been so happy and excited and i wouldn’t stop talking. but this time i just looked at her and i wanted to leave, even tho i was the one who invited her… i felt so so numb, she also pointed out my strange behavior but she didnt ask if it was because of her.

honestly the whole day 4 hours spend together seemed like im hanging out with someone who secretly hates me. she didnt say any rude remarks but everything was just odd and i almost passed out at one moment (perhaps this was also because i slept only 5 hours)

we kinda gossiped and talked about guys, we always do this, however it felt so draining? actually i dont think this is the correct word, maybe awkward? we cracked some jokes but i was really forcing myself to smile and laugh, she defo noticed this. i was also just spacing out a couple of times

when we said goodbye, i didnt feel sad as i usually do when we separate. but this time i was just done, relieved and exhausted. and also screw the uber driver who tried to make a conversation with me about stupid teslas

i now really think we’re drifting apart. we had the previous week free and we didnt get to hang out at all… the active on ig and no reply thing happened then too…despite this, she did hang out with two other girls. awesome.

i feel so lonely. ever since i was little i thought that i would grow up in this cool teenager with a huge friend group yet here i am, crying for the 38295th time in the bathroom. i really just want someone i could talk to. someone who replies to me all the time. someone who appreciates me. someone with who i would never be awkward or uncomfortable with. someone who wouldn’t judge me. someone who would jump off a bridge if i also jumped. someone who i’d consider my best friend. someone who’d consider me their best friend. maybe i already met this person and maybe im the problem because of my stupid anxiety and my stupid undiagnosed depression and my stupid attachment issues and my stupid self as a whole.

today i had planned to tell my friend about some of the thing mentioned here but i guess i couldn’t bring myself to do it. she really asked me if something is wrong but i just shut her down.

maybe i will tell her next time. but how? or maybe the real question is when? i mean, ive been the one who mostly began the convos. i really am going to wait for her to just say something.

(today is saturday) not the upcoming week, but the next one it will be my birthday (im celebrating it by visiting paris so it will be no actual party with friends, just family). but i do wonder what she is gonna do then. like, just a hbd text or something more? tbh that “something more” could be even a bday card, i’d be really happy for one. i dont wanna sound selfish but i truly think i deserve something from a friend i’ve known for a whole decade, a friend who i love(d?) so much, i even bought her a gucci perfume so yeah i do deserve something a bit bigger than a one-minute happy bday text. again, it doesnt need to be extravagant, just something to show if she really cares about me, about our friendship. even my classmates, who ive known for only 6 months, are going to make me a surprise.

or maybe im just miserable and lonely. perhaps i shouldnt be spending my bday in paris but rather in a therapy session.

also i need to buy a new mascara since my maybelline sky high has been kind of dry. also as i said, rn im crying and yet the mascara isnt running down my face in the dramatic way as it should be..

#dear diary #this is​ longer than i intended

[mosviqu]

loved ur thoughts on it and i'm yet again glad to know that 2 out of 3 of our fav songs match again and i'm so glad it's a 20/10 album for u as well

tbh i only remember matthew talking so i'm not going to be a help here sadly💀💀

ERIC NEEDS TO HAVE LONGER PARTS I LOVE MY MAN SUNWOO LOVE HIS RAPS LOVE HIS VOICE BUT ERIC DESERVES TO SHINE AS WELL HE ALWAYS GET SO LITTLE PARTS💔 and i'm glad we did talk more about sunwoo😇 atleast it was worth it cuz of actor jihoon ig but the fact that only the last episodes were good😭😭 AND YAYYY IM HAPOY TO HEAR THAT🥳🥳

TBH IT WOULD BE CRAZY IF WE WOULD ACTUALLY END UP MEETING UP but if u need any help while u guys are here i am available to help anytime🫡

THE CLUB ONES WERE SO FUNNY I REMEMBER HOW THE TAEHYUN ONE AND THEIRS WERE AROUND THE SAME TIME AND I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD AT THEM (i remember seeing someone say "can't believe they are dancers and they move like this" i lost my shit actually) AND SO TRUE GOOD FOR HIM LMAO and now that u say that i follow an intak stan on tiktok AND SHE HASNT TALKED MUCH ABOUT JIM LIKE SHE USED TO (she also doesn't really make tiktoks that much and took like half off but we don't talk about that)

I DID WATCH IT!!! BAR!!!! I CANNNNOTT PUT MY FEELINGS INTO WORDS I LITERALLY ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR AFTER I WATCHED IT FOR THE FIEST TIME I JUST COULDNT TAKE MY EYES OF OFF JIHOON IT WAS SO BAD HIS FIT AND EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM WAS😭🤭 THE SONG🤌🤌🤌 THE CHOREOGRAPHY 🤌🤌 (but i did. feel a bit weird when i looked at junghwan doing al that .-.) and ever since it came out it has been my motivation to learn i'm just like okay i'm gonna finish this part and watch it again🤭 i am just so not ready for them to perform this like ever shsndbfn (liebestraum anon🥸)

SEE our taste in music actually matches for the most part 😭

still thinking of eric in kiss me if you can....and eric in general..... (i watched their vid w the fo squad today and girl let me tell u i think i fell in love with him ☹ you know me so well goodbye) also i wont talk abt sunwoo anymore bc he is yours only and i wont be a bad friend in this situation /j (i finished the bbam bbam social club series. literally 8h of staring at tipsy sunwoo. what did u expect to happen). ERIC DOESNT GET MANY PARTS ???? HAVE U HEARD THE MAN??????????????? JUSTICE FOR MY MAN.

omg im...so down actually ??? even tho i am SO awkward irl istg i think id die of anxiety but it would be so fun i think 😭😭 i still dont have the tickets so. we'll see hhhhh

NO BECAUSE TAEHYUNS CLUB WAS TOO DRY ISTG THAY WAS THE WORST ONE 😭😭 my man has to come to slovak clubs fr i'll show him how its done 🙄🙄 but also THEY HAVE SO MANY HONGDAE CLUBS AND HE WENT TO THE DRIEST ONE ??? 😭😭 but w the dancing part like how do u expect him to dance at a club he isnt gonna bust out the good boy gone bad choreo 😭😭😭 i mean at least shake ass a little i understand but dont expect big things 😭😭 also SEE im the most active intak stan confirmed (dont look that up) i need him to be my golden retriever boyfriend he's so pookie

on the topic of T5 move. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. jihoon's fit...lives in my mind rent free. like we knew he had abs and we did see them before but why did the sight affect me so much this time 😭 also i didnt even look at junghwan that much 😳 maybe for the best to not feel weird AHAHA i mean he is an adult but the 2 year age difference is providing a mental block for me to not see him in that way LMAO. we are NOT ready for the mv OR the live performance im afraid. plan my funeral friends ☹☹

#liebestraum anon

[ushiwakaout]

parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader

warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU

a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!

Kozume Kenma

Match made in heaven

Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company

You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime

you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.

If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk

Always knock before you go into his little studio room

You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack 

but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you 

fake breakup video like the next day for trolling

Okaya anywho

if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube) “I’m going to the store, you want anything?” 

you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.

“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers) 

you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies. 

everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works

SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words” 

you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos

you both stay up really late together

if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit

somehow kenma is the more productive one

you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma

you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma

just to make extra cash you have and OF

most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk

a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex

theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming 

“Kenma can you help me for a second.”

“Hmm, what is it kitten?” 

He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe

Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on

He just smiles and spreads his legs for you

(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)

He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth. 

His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest

“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand 

He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck. 

“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”

(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)

sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again

he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted

he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.

Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.

you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft

mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh

Oikawa Tooru 

Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely

Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you

you hate how early he freaking wakes up

hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning 

there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud

if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own

doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat 

when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.” 

cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning

he’s so sweet

he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)

He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago. 

sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.

its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey”  *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning

after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets 

he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice 

You wear his stuff when he leaves

low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina

other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.

Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming

You’re popular on the female side of gamers 

sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum

Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo

You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home

you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.

hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend

if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game

You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home

although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses 

hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach 

you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore

baths w oikawa are frequent

muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being  pampered with your love for him

you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done

a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.

there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.

sleeping in different rooms

(LIL ANGST AHEAD)

Tooru can hear you cry from the other room

he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him

you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.

your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough

will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him

you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water

but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.

you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.

he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss

will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high

will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy

you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot

will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out

this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.

his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.

you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue

fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much

tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over

aftercare is even better

he doesn’t make you do anything

he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu manga #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu spoilers #timeskip haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #oikawa torū #oikawa x you #oikawa scenarios #oikawa fluff #oikawa hc #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru #oikawa #oikawa x y/n #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa hcs #kenma kozume #kenma fluff #hq kenma #kenma fanart #kenma hcs #kenma x reader #kenma x y/n #timeskip kenma #kenma #kenma x you #haikyuu kenma

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! Ive been feeling a bit in the muds so could you do like and old type of fanfic...like a mob!tom on a retro phone just sweet talking the reader?

Only if your requests are open tho. I dont wanna be a burden

Aw baby you could never EVER be a burdon. Dont ever be shy to talk to me because im always here babe.

T.H| What a Sweetheart

Summary: 👺👺👺

Warnings: ah just some fluff- i went overboard i hope your okay with that-

A/n: I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER- HERE ILL POST A WEIRD VIDEO FOR YOU

There you sat. The baby pink everywhere as you laid on your stomach rocking your feet and reading a book, sucking on your lolipop

Ring Ring, Ring Ring

A smile and a giggle brought to your lips, sitting up and crawling to the old pink retro phone you answered, curling the wire around your fingers with the other hand holding the pop.

“Hey babyface” “hi tommy” he also laid there, in the darkness as he starred at the empty wall, shirtless and pantless, just in his boxers and in his socks rubbing his stomach and wanting to listen to your voice.

“I missed you” you laughed at his words “i missed ya to tommy” “i miss your voice...that pretty face of yours” “well i cant come see you, daddy stays at home now and he needs my help” “i dont need your help princess” you giggled at his joke “not youuuu, my real daddy”

“Mhmm princess, well what are you wearing?” You looked down at yourself then squealed “well i just got this fuzzy pink robe! Its so cute!” He chuckles and shifted in his spot. “Are you tired dollface?” Your lips go to the side for a moment, thinking before speaking.

“Kind of” “well, can i talk you to sleep” he desperately asked, biting his lip waiting for an answer. “Yeah let me go turn off the lights” you muttered, putting the phone down before getting up and walking to your door to switch the light off.

When you came back to your large bed you cleaned everything up and tom waited patiently, humming some songs to himself before you came back.

“Alright, what dya’ got for me” you asked, laying down on your side and holding onto the phone. “I just wanted to praise you bunny. Tell you how beautiful you are and how much i love you. How you speak and walk....your just everything for me ya know?”

“Really?” You said, your voice shrinking. “Of course baby, you deserve the whole wide world, do you know that? I feel like you should just sit on a cloud because your too good for this earth”

You sighed “thank you, but whats going on with you?” He bit his lip before answering, sitting up against the headboard “uhm, this job has been so stressful lately, i havent seen my family at all. I havent seen you- i just feel alone...”

“Oh...well i can ask my daddy to drop me off” you suggested. “No you dont have to, i only wanted to hear that sweet sweet voice” he chuckled, his head hanging low as he thought about what to buy you next.

“Im still listening!” You perked up making him laugh “i know you are princess, just lay down yeah? All ears for me?” “Got it tommy” “you ready?” “Mhm”

“I wanna buy you everything and more because your such a good girl for me, i wanna pleasure you in any and every way possible because you deserve it” “really? Give me some examples” “i dont know....rub your feet?” You both shared a small laugh “i know youve been wanting that fox fur coat..”

“I would fucking kill for that coat” “your daddy hasnt bought it for you yet?” He asked, a smirk on his face. “No, i havent asked at all” “whys that baby girl?”

You sighed before answering “because hes been so hard on me...hes getting old and-“ “you dont have to finish baby i know, i just wish we could all get together and be happy” “why cant we?” You asked rather innocently.

“Well...your daddy doesnt like my dad, and my dad doesnt like yours so we just continue to clash and fued” he wiped his eye. “Thats no fun, maybe i can talk to him” “what are you gonna say? That we are in love together and we wanna get married?” He sarcastically chuckled and your eyebrows furrowed.

“Well do you?” You asked. “Yeah doll...i do. Why dont we just run away and kill everyone in our path”

He didnt know why he was suggesting it. He in one of the biggest mobs and hes held responsible as one of the main people in the family, aside from you and yours. He really isnt the one for violence but he just wants at least a break of peace.

“Daddy wouldn’t like that” you shook your head. “I know, i just really miss you pretty girl” “i miss you to tom- thats why i wanna see you-“ “no itll just put you in danger! Stay home y/n” “what if i dont want to!”

“Then you cant come here. Im sorry!” “I dont care, bye-“ “wait-“ before he could finish you hung up the phone, dropping it back on its place before getting up and putting on your slippers and walking to the kitchen, finding your father eating.

“Daddy no carbs!” “Honey its 9 o’clock, give me a break” he glared at you, eating the piece of buttered bread. “Well i have a questionnnn” you distanced off, the slippers making a noise while you walked to the counter where your father was at. “Hm?” He groaned looking at you. “Dont get mad at me! Promise!” You said, holding up your hand and tilting your head at him.

“Spit it out y/n” “okay okay- can you pretty please talk to the hollands-“ he choked on the piece of bread “daddy!” You run up to him, aggressively patting his back. “Okay okay- im done! But you said what?” He looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed.

“The....hollands” you muttered looking away from him. “We have been against each othet for generations! And what makes you want to speak and collaborate with them” “daddy...theres this-“ “oh fuck off! Please dont tell me-“ you only nodded. “A white man?” “Daddy!” “What? Im being honest!”

“Whens the next meeting!” You asked. “In a week”

This is your first time ever coming to one of the meetings, and you were afraid. Your mob color is a dark brown so you wore it...daddy refused to let you wear anything too revealing because these men are dirty.

“Cover yourself!” “What are you talking about!” “Y/n.” “Finnneeee!” You stomped back to your room and your dad gifted you a tuxedo, so you wore it...

“Seeeeee you look great! Your grandfather would be so proud of you” news flash. All the women in the family ran away or whatever, they didnt know what they were getting their sleves into.

“Can we just leave”

Clank clank clank clank

You walked behind your dad and his close partners followed behind you, protecting you from toms family.

“You do not speak. You hear me y/n. Just sit down and listen” “yeah” you were nervous, ver nervous. So when you stepped in and seen absolutely no women at the tables you panicked. But when you made eye contact with tom you almost shit yourself.

He eyed you from afar, wondering why you were here. Why are you putting yourself in danger.

As everyone talked you sat there bored until someone made a comment about you. “Why is she here? Shes a beaut” he snickers, others laughing to.

Your dad stood “talk about my daughter again and i will kill you, understood?” He snapped, shrinking the man down to size. “Honey get out of here” he smiled at you and you stood, one of his friends pat coming with you outside.

“Why did you come here?” He asked, offering a cigarette but you declined. “I just wanted to see what its like” “no dont lie to me dollface, i know you were eyeing that boy” you side eyed him before groaning “is it obvious!” He laughed and took out his lighter.

“Very” “i dont like him” “well he likes you” he took a puff and put the lighter back in his front pocket. “How can you tell” you leaned up against the wall and crossed your arms. “He was only looking at you” he smiled, you smacked your lips. “You have em wrapped on your finger, you should take advantage of that”

“Well i dont wanna hurt people like you!” You whisper yelled. “Its business baby, has been for years” he shrugged. “Well maybe i can change it” “eh, it’s possible” he shrugged “but it aint easy”

You both heard the door get pushed open aggressively and turned around, seeing tom walking up to you. “Woah woah woah, slow your roll” pat said, stepping infront of you. “Can i just talk to her- give me like 20 minutes” “why should i do that” pat dropped the cigarette and stepped on it.

“Because i want to talk to her- if i dont make it back it twenty minutes i swear ill give you everything i have” “i dont want anything, y/n do you wanna go” pat looked back at you. You harshly swallowed before nodding your head, pat stepped aside and tom smiled, pulling your hand and tugging you to run with him.

“Baby” he said out of breath, both of you ran to the trunk of his car. “Y-yes tommy?” “I got you a gift” “what is it!” You perked up and he giggled “something youll never forget” he pulled out his key and opened the trunk, a large gift box with a pink bow on it. “Do you love me y/n?” He asked, looking at you.

“Yeah...i really do” you smiled and bit your lip nodding. “Open it” he muttered, you nervously took the bow out, slowly opening the top of the box “tommy i dont know...” “dont be scared! Open it!!” He edged you on.

Suddenly it started to sprinkle, soon turning into some heavy rain. “Y/n hurry up before you get a cold!” He said sternly and you did, a gasp left your lips as you raised the coat. “You bought it for me” you whispered and he nodded, he took the coat to put it on you, when you were finished your pressed your lips on his roughly, his hands hooking behind your knees to lift you up and put yout legs around his hips.

“I. Love. You. So. Much” you said between kisses. “I know princess, just know id kill for you if i had to” “i would too tommy, i would too” he smiled and pressed his forehead against yours, the rain coming down making your hair frizzy but he could care less, he loved you. “I wish we could be like this forever” you whispered against his lips before kissing him again. “We can baby, I promise” “how tommy?” You rubbed your nose against his “running away” “tommy i cant, you know this-“ “but arent you tired doll, it would just be me and you” he muttered, pinching your legs some.

You bit your lip before pressing a kiss on his lips. “Okay” “really?!” He smiled “yeah yeah lets go!” He carefully dropped you and slammed the trunk closed, he unlocked the car and you both hopped in, on the road you both go.

“I dont have any clothes!” “I can buy you everything you want and more princess, dont worry. Andddd letters. You always write your father some letters pretty girl” he smiled at you.

“Love you” “love you too”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland blurb #mob!tom holland x reader #mob!tom

[zmayadw]

Hello to all :)

Its time to continue the story. I’ll post 2 parts today, since next one is a bit short, but the second one a bit longer, so bear with me :D

Anyway, wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 5

The sun was shyly peeking through clouds when i woke up. I felt a bit woozy,  the events of last night coming back to me. My stomach ached, tears forming in my eyes as the image of Jake leaving flashed before my eyes. „Good morning, hun.“ It was Doris, worry still written all over her face. „You gave me quite a scare last night. Are you allright,hun?“ she asked. „Yeha, I will be, thanks Doris.“ I said, whiping those tears away. „Oh, dont you worry, hun, he'll come arround.“ She smiled, and winked at me. „Sorry?“ i said. „The guy that was here yeserday. A girl can only cry like that because of something like it.“ She said, gazing at the wall, like remembering something similar herself. I gave her the best forced smile i could make „I hope your right, Doris, i really do.“ „Oh, trust me, hun. I can bet you he will.“ She smiled at me so warmly, gave me my breakfast, and left me to to it. I didnt really have much of an apetite, but i forced myself to eat, and i drank some tea. I took my phone, texting Jessy, asking if she might come arround today. She replied quickly that she's actualy on her way here already, and i was glad for it. I could really use her company right now.  It wasnt long till her cheerful voice echoed through my room „Hey, hey, miss Reckless“ she teased. „I bring coffee and icecream.“ She waved the bags at me, but imediatly stoped seeing my face. „Oh, Maya, what happened?“ she asked, her face taking on the sadden look. That sadness came back to me, and i started crying. Jessy left the bags on the chair, quickly sitting next to me, hugging me tightly. „Let me guess“ she sarted „He texted you, didnt he?“ I shook my head, wich made her ask again. „He called?“ Again, i shook my head. She pulled away from me, a bit of curiosity on her face. „He was here?!?“ I finaly nooded. „Nice.“ She said, and i looked at her a bit confused, saying through tears „Nice? Jessy, i would not cry like a little bitch if it was nice!“. „Oh, shush, you silly, and listen!“ she stared, taking a hankerchief from the stand, handing it to me. „You said it yourself, its gonna be a tough conversation. And lets be honest, he has EVERY right to be pissed at you.“ I growled at her, but she shushed me and continued. „Wait, wait, im not done. He probably heard all the information from Lily about what happened, and im sure he 'interrogated' her for every little detail. She definatly didnt sugarcoat any of it, so he got the good picture.“ That word 'interogated' got me smiling a bit, i could totaly picture Jake naging Lily to tell him every little bit of events that happened. „Ok, you following me. So tell me this then: if he already knew all that happened, and if he knew how you wer doing, would he come here himself, if he was that much pissed? Or if he doesnt care anymore?“ she asked, looking at me, with a cheerfull grin on her face. She got me some hope back with her words, but it quckly got replaced with despair again. „But you should have seen him, Jessy. He looked so dissapointed and betrayed by me...like i drowned that little spark of hope he had in him. I dont think he will ever want to see me again, let alone talk to me.“ She looked at me smiling. „Dont worry, Maya, im sure you're wrong about it, if i can judge by other men.“ „You and Doris both.“ I said, mumling it more to myself then to her. Jessy didnt seem to notice. „Give him some time to cool off. Maybe then you two can talk again about everything..without all this drama.“ She nudged at me, getting up and grabing one of the bags from the chair. „This needs some serious icecream overdose, like right now! „Thanks, Jessy..for being here for me.“ I said, as she handed me the spoon. „No need to thank me. You know i'm here for you, Maya, for anything.“ „I know, Jessy, right back at ya'.“ We ate some icecream in silence for a while, and i could see on Jessy's face that there was something that occupied her toughts. I poked her leg with my finger, wich made her look at me. „Whats on your mind, Jessy? I can see something is bothering you.“ i asked. She hesitated for a moment, before saying „Are you really sure you want to know?“  That got me a bit confused „Ofcourse, Jessy, you know you can talk to me about anything.“  She looked through the window, wich was now full of rain drops, and her face took on the same gloomy features as the weather outside. „They burried him yesterday.“ She said finaly, and i didnt have to ask who she refered to. „Oh..i see.“ I didnt know what more to say. „Thats why i didnt come yesterday.“ She continued. „I dont know why, but i wanted to go. I guess i wanted to be sure it was really over, you know?“ she said, her eyes getting a bit sad. „I cant belive what i'm about to say, but it was sad. Seing his dad like that, alone.“ She turned her gaze back to the window. „Jessy..its all right. Its understandable you have mixed feelings about it.“ I said. „Is it?“ she asked, turning back to me. „Isnt it crazy to care for someone, even tho he caused us so much pain, and almost ruined our lives? After all thats happened?“ now her eyes wer full of tears. I got out of bed, crouching next to her, taking her by the hand „Your not crazy, Jessy. You wer friends for so long, all of you. You all shared so much together, I saw how close all of you wer. And for that bond to be cut so suddenly and cruely..Especialy for you, since you two wer the closest...No, Jessy, its not crazy you feel this way.“ I hoped my words would make some sense to her. I could see it really bothered her so much. „Maybe you shoul talk to others about it.“ I advised. She looked at me, a bit sceptical, but i continued. „Hey, dont dismiss it so fast. And beside, eventually you guys will have to discuss those events.“  „Later sounds better to me.“ She replied, some of her cheerfullness coming back. „Whenever you guys feel up to it.“ I told her, getting up and sitting back on the bed. She got up, went to the bathroom, and when she came back she looked at me „We have to stop crying everytime im here, its almost all we ever do.!“ She grinned, and i returned her a grin of my own. „Well, lets make a pact then, shall we? From now on no more crying! Agreed?“ i asked, extendig my hand towards her, wich she took instantly, laughing „Agreed!“ She stayed with me for a while more. At some point a doctor came in informing me that if all would look ok, next week i could get discharged from hospital. That made Jessy even more happier, since she couldnt wait for me to get out of here. „Oh, dont get so excited just jet“ i grined at her, and she looked puzzled at me. „Dan cant wait it also, he said you forbid him from drinking, but when i get out you wont be able to say no to him!“ „Ohh, that hooligan! He will hear from me about that!“ she said fierce, but couldnt hide the smile. „Go easy on him, i think we all deserve one 'crazy night out', considering all.“ I told her,and she agreed, but added „Just not too crazy, please! Dan thinks he can sing when drunk, and unfortunatly we can barely keep him away from the karaoke machine at Aurora.“ „Ahh, you shouldn't have told me this, now you have to let Dan loose, i have to hear that amazing vocie of his!“ We both laughed at it. Doris entered the room „Oh, its nice to see you laugh, hun, thats the best medicine there is.“ She siad, winking at me. „Sure is, Doris.“ I said, winking back.

#duskwood #duskwood mc #duskwood jessy #duskwood fanfic

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[grxceblqckthxrn]

hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

#chain of gold spoilers #chain of gold #james herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Matthew Fairchild #lucie herondale #anna lightwood #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #christopher lightwood #grace blackthorn #jesse blackthorn #tatiana blackthorn #the last hours #tlh #cassandra clare #the last hours spoilers #chog spoilers

[qyu-inactive]

MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT OUTTAKES 16-18.5 BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY

We have been blessed with 3.5 glorious new parts to the wonderful Losty Aone/ Mountain Man Series by the wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring @shhhlikeme and i am emotional and have many many feelings about it all.

Outtake 16 

I love that we got to see this from the reeader’s point of view, it was nice to see our losty y/n and see how their feeling. It was a nice break from feeling sad about Aone’s broken heart.

This part made me laugh ahaha

After dating and breaking up with him, Aone had females constantly approaching him. A/N: Not constantly but it felt that way for you ofc lol

the jealously😂, the Author’s note too like “it wasnt like that at all” 😂 this emotional person (y/n) is just  blowing up the situation. 

and then this:

In other words: They want what you had. 

i mean of course they would, Aone is the sweetest boy but only to someone he loves. Aone’s heart is too strong to let waver to someone knew so quick

This whole outtake all i could think about was that Y/n really needs to get back with her mountain man, first they want to break up so Aone finds someone new but then doesnt want him to find someone new. Like cleary y/n is not being honest with herself or Aone. 

When they went to the library, ahhh y/n really just imagining the worst scnenarios in their head😂

“Oh,” your stomach flipped. “He looks so cute.” You put on a 🥺 face when you noticed how utterly adorable a standing Takanobu looked

🥺🥺🥺 Aone is always such a cutie, and y/n really broke this man’s heart😭 I know it was insecurites but still. These two are so in love but just wont get back together. 

The outfit y/n is wearing😍 you always pick these really cute and sexy outfits and I appreciate y/ns confidence and style but it is not me 😂😂 but Aone thirsting over his girl tho, i would dress up like that if it meant getting looked by Aone like that 😂

I love Aone’s plan, like he is such a sweetheart and he’s making me all soft at all his effort to win his girl back🥺🥺

This outtake really gave up all the feels y/n is feeling with breaking up with Aone and I am enjoing it 😂. At the same time though I just want these to love birds to get back together ahhhhh. 

One of the things I really love about this story is how strong the friendship is and how we see the outside characters really show how much they care. A lot of stories (like shojou, oh man you dont know how much shoujo manga ive read haha) just sideline their friends after the start talking to their love interest or they dont even have friends at all in the whole story. I really enjoyed seeing Katana be a voice of reason in our losty’s life. And of course the K_nji’s being our boy Aone’s best friends. 

Outtake 17

okay we starting with the real friends the K_nji’s warning our boy Aone about the situation. I love them and how much they care 😂. They can be dumbasses but still, I appreciate their effort. 

The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small.

Does this mean they’re going to the same university? or am I reading too much into it? It might have been mentioned before but I cant remember off the top of my head. Also Aone really living his best life and his worst life rn 😂😂  like he gets to see his girl in a super tight cheer leading uniform and spend one on one time with her but he cant do anything about his desires. His confidence tho haha  “I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before” not like this you havent😏 

Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.

Again I just really love their friendship, parts like this really get me 😂😂😂

When y/n took out Aone’s jacket automatically🥺🥺 my hearttttt, and how long Aone’s jacket is on them🥺🥺 this whole part made me so softtt. Like imagine wearing his jacket🥺🥺 it would be so comfy and warm. 

There are so many golden lines I loved from this part, but Aone’s spank bank is just a phrase I wasnt expectng to read but it is gold. Im sure his bank is full and loaded😂

Then some random gross guy comes up to y/n, like the audacity of this guy.

He had such a disgusting grin on his face

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 this guy can back offfff. 

I really love when Aone comes in to protect the reader🥺🥺 he’s not the iron wall for nothing too. 

Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️

and then you go and hurt me again😭😭

I really wanted Aone to just kick a dude in the chest, like step the fuck off 😂😂. 

“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice.

“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.

Im absolutely swooning, Aoneeeeee🥺🥺🥺. And the fact that he wanted the reader to come with him so she wouldnt get anyone bothering her😭😭 he’s such a gentlemen. No one bothers Aone’s girl whose not his girl at the moment, especially guys who arent wanted

now onto the fun part of this outtake😏 I wasn’t expecting to see texts but it was definitely a nice addtion!! Our poor Aone soo horny and sweet, I dont know if the dead squirrels worked hahaha. 

but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand.

this went over my head when i read it the first time omg😂😂😂 Im sure Aone can do it, he’s a very capable man. This whole section had me laughing but also feeling slightly bad for Aone, again his poor horny heart right now is conflicted but very much fed. Im glad he was able to get a break, I dont think his length could wait (im not used to using subtle language hahaha) anyway this whole part was fun to read. 

Aone bit his juicy bottom lip,

I legit bit my lip just before reading this part😂

Outtake 18 & 18.5

Now we’re hitting the climax!! (after Aone just hit his climax and is about to hit again😗)

—who imo really should return to their own homes now but would rather not—

I mean do these two even have their own homes anymore😂, theyre basically apart of the Aone family now. Family who also understand when to leave their horny pal alone for time being. 

OKAY ONTO THE IMPORTANT PART!!! AHHHHHHHH. 

“Aone-senpai, do you even have snapchat?!”

“Obviously not.” Kenji answered for his friend, being snappy.

“WELL HE SHOULD GET IT BECAUSE I SAW—“

Did Kanji see Y/N and Takeru?????? I also cant believe I learnt Takeru was a third year from this series, I always thought he was a second year for some reason. I think cos he was ennoshita’s rival. not important rn lmao

“—because Aone-senpai is jacking off again. It makes you feel lighter, and happier—so that’s why,”

this boy, there are some things you just shouldnt say out loud. Some things can be left unsaid (not like im blunt with my friends sometimes haha but still) 

When Kenji had found out about why y/n dumped Aone😭😭😭😭 I’m glad he found out earlier then Aone, I wouldnt have wanted him to yell at the reader again.

Anyone that can do that, be so selfless—is good enough for his best friend.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I can tell its her because that’s your sweater she’s wearing. Right? It says Takanobu on the back, and I remember seeing Y/N steal it out of your bag after practice once.”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺these parts really just made me soft. like the fact that y/n still had the jacket and wanted to wear it out. and the absolute coincedence that they were in the same cinema as Aone. 

“Y/N.—Sh-She-She is wearing my attire. What does that mean?”

Yeah, big guy.

Yeah, you have a chance.

Y/N still has a little….tiny bit of feelings for you

YES YES YES FINALLY , I wanted to cry here😭😭 AND THEN KENJI CONFIRMED IT ALL AND AONE THE MAN WENT AND TRIED TO GET HIS GIRL. THIS REALLY IS THE DRAMATIC PART IN THE MOVIE. AND THEN THIS [redacted] TAKERU CAME AND AHHHHH 

(Aone would know that face, he only saw it everyday he’s looked in the mirror for the past 3 years)

Absolutely dead. All hope—gone.

You make me happy and then just rip out my heart like 2 minutes later. I was going from crying happy tears to sad tears in like a heartbeat. 

ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW UPSET I WAS WHEN I GOT TO THE END OF PART 18 I DIDNT REALISE THERE WAS 18.5 AND WAS AFRAID THAT THIS WAS IT AHHHHHH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS THEN JUST LEAVE. 

“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her.

y/n really has some good friends with her🥺

uhhh then Takeru comes in, I dont really hate him but no one stands in between our losties love, they deserve each other and no one can stand between them. 

“But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.”

Okay this was pretty nice of Takeru, like cheesy but at least he cares and isnt staring at y/n like a peace of meat he wants to devour...

You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way.

This boy, hes got a good heart but this isn’t your story bud, im sorry.

There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen.

if this doesnt go well these two seem like they’re going to fight y/n outside the cinema😭😂 I couldnt imagine getting death stares from the K_njis especially after hurting Aone basically twice now.

Finding HIM was all that mattered.

OKAY THIS WHOLE PART, LIKE YES GO GET YOUR MAN PLEASE. LIKE Y/N CANT JUST LEAVE THIS RIGHT HERE LIKE THIS. 

white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.

I cant take anymore sad Aone😭😭 He needs the biggest hug and his girl to be his girl again. He has gone through so much.

“Kenji-san, please leave me—““Not Justin Bieber look-alike!”

I cant with the Justin Bieber look-alike. 😂😂

Im just going to talk about my feelings for this part, but the whole confesson. I felt like crying, i feel like crying now reading it😭 it was just so beautiful. Like y/n explaing everything and saying Aone is the only man she’ll ever love. Throughout the series we really go to understand Aone’s feelings so deeply and how passionate he is but we didnt really get to see how y/n felt as much so reading this made me happy for Aone for the fact that his girl loves him as much as he loves her. They really were lost for each other, lost with out each other, but together they were 

Found.

okay maybe im tearing up now😭😭

One more marathon to go and our happy couple can live happily. The fact that this story is nearly over is a little sad but I’m happy our losties found each other. Im thinking since the next parts will be the last I’ll talk about overall themes I liked and my favourite moments as well. 

#shhhlikeme #Losty Aone #Losty mountain man series #this took longer then i expected but i can finally post it!!!!

[bi-lesbian]

How do you not internalize like all the criticisms or hate I guess? I see a bit more on Twitter than Tumblr, regardless it's hard not to internalize stuff about using the bi lesbian label or really any label that isnt mainstream/is mogai or something. Like, maybe they're right and I shouldn't use x label because it's stupid or doesn't make sense, Idk. Did any of that make sense?

i get what you mean! i guess for me its just kind of like... i tend to be pretty neutral on a lot of things, because i dont like to take a stance until i understand things better- so when i Do take a stance on something, its something ive put a lot of thought into, and so im pretty firm on my stance. and that mixed with my general stubborness/spitefullness when people piss me off, when people are being nothing but shitty to me instead of actually hearing me out/having a decent discussion with me, i just get more solid in place.

im just kinda not the type to get down in the dumps or something when people are being rude assholes to me... i just get Really Pissed, or just get extremely apathetic and maybe laugh it off- which is what ive especially been lately, bc im too low on energy to care to waste any of my energy on random assholes. im not sure why exactly im like this to be able to give advice to maybe help others get better at taking hate? ive just kind of always been like this.. it could just be something to do with my whole life ive had a No Shit Taking attitude and also a general, i guess pretty good ego? (which im sure i hella got from my mom) so when someones being super shitty to me i get a righteous anger in me thats like "i do not deserve this kinda shit and what youre doing is what i hate in the world." because im just.... so sick of people just being so rude to each other, especially complete strangers that they dont even understand.

and im not moved by things being "stupid" or "not making sense" arguments/feelings. because ive made a strong effort when those feelings come up for anything to go, well, why is it stupid? why is it weird? is this just a kneejerk reaction to something i havent heard before and theres not actually anything wrong with it thats causing harm? and even if something "doesnt make sense," that just means it doesnt make sense to me. theres so many things in life, and so many different kinds of experiences people have, im never gonna be able to understand every thing ever. i cant deem the validity of something making sense just based around my own specific experiences. some things make sense to me while make no sense to others, or make sense to others but make no sense to me- these dont really determine anything about the thing- whether its good, bad, somewhere in between, Anything. it Literally just means some people dont understand it, and thats not a valid reason to hate on something.

and when ive gotten hate i did think about the points made (after the fact tho, once i wasnt annoyed as much), and i have addressed them on this blog- explaining my reasonings against those things. thats only if though if theyve actually brought up a form of argument, and not just being insulting. its still shitty to be forcing your views/arguments onto people when they never asked for it, but i did let myself take some of the points i often heard and used it to explain my own side better- so im not just Ignoring anything from the other side. (and also unlike a lot of people seem to act, not agreeing on something literally does not mean you are not taking the things theyre saying into account, so i hate the "just listen to [group]" argument, especially since everyone in that group have differing opinions too. you cant just blindly follow anyones opinions or something just because theyre Of A Group) nowadays tho ive pretty much have addressed everything theyve brought up to me, so now when people bring up the Exactly Same Arguments to me on anon hate i just read it extremely uncaring like "really? this again? bruh"

this got kinda long, oops! but i hope i answered everything well!!

#bi lesbiask #bi lesbian #mogai #etc stuff !

[yennefer-stark]

Rehab of a soldier

Part two

---------------------------------------

Almost at midnight, I heard a scream wich reached the inside of my bones. Like he experiencing physical pain... I immediately ran to him.

-Hey... It's just me, Yennefer, can I come in?

-Please... --his voice was broken and quiet as he tried to holding back his tears.

-You had a bad dream --I sat down in his bed and swiped away his cold sweat. He didnt know what I wanted, so he sat there, completely frozen; when Buck realized that I mean no harm for him, he closed his eyes and leant into my palm-- Can...can you tell me your dream?

-They wiped me again because I said I knew him, the man on the bridge.

-You were right Bucky, You know who he is. Your childhood best friend. He still remember you even if you doesn't.... Should I go or should I stay?

-Please, stay with me...

-Are you sure?

He doesnt answered, just nodded with his head, so I laid next to him, because there wasnt so much space in his bed. For me, his hug with his metal hand was a surprise. I started to play with his hair. Once again, he froze by a sudden, then again, he relaxed. The next day, I woke up in an empity bed, I walked to the kitchen, where Steve cooked something, the radio quietly played some music.

-Do you met with him?

-Buck? No, I didnt.

-He might went to buy a few thing. I found him yesterday at the museum. He sat at your picture and he said, he remember one single date. July 4, 1918. After 70 years of torture and being frozen constanly, he still remembers.

-My birthday, and trust me, he remember much more than that. What do yo think, why we do this in secret?

-What kind of program he has in his arm? Unknown HYDRA right? When dad was an UNI student he hacked the Pentagon...

-How much time do you need Yennefer?

-Thats on Buck's arm... If something can go wrong, It will go bad sometime for sure. I dont want to be a bad person, but I'd be happy if his robotic arm cant fucntion properly. Do you spoke with Thor?

-No. He doesnt know where Loki went, he still search him.

After a few minute, Bucky come back from shopping, looked at me, than Steve, dead in his track. He arranged his face back to normal, while Steve just wanted to hug him.

-Not now Steve.

-Long time no see Buck.

-Long time ago? I dont remember. ... I think my name is Bucky and we went to italy...? And at another misson I fell from the train...?

At the end, Steve hugged his ex-assassin best friend, who pushed away him.

-Why did you do this?

-We used to greet like this.

-Really? Coz I remember only one date... July 4, 1918. I try to remember things, but after a time, it hurts... And I cant remember much more than that.

He placed the plastig bag in the table, then he went up to his room, he may closed the door with his metal hand, coz Steve an I heard a loud crashing sound.

-If the door is still in It's place it's a luck, that was forceful...

-True, but what I've done?

-You? You did nothing wrong, just your presence is new for him. Yesterday night he was so calm... He leaned into my hand when he figured out that I mean no harm to him.

-He doesnt seemed like a sleepless person, what did you done?

-It's... my secret, but if you forgive me, I have other things to do. Captain.

With a slightly evil grin I turned away from him, and then I went up to Bucky's room. The door wasnt there, just the frame.... The man behind the door's piece was stressed and tense. When he saw me, his eyes radiated pure fear and started to backing away.

-I didnt wanted to destroy the door, I'm sorry. I think something happened with my hand...

-Come on, I can do something with it.

-What can you do with it?

-You'll see, trust me.

I saw the pure terror and complete fear in his eyes as he leaned against the wall. I dont know what HYDRA did with him, but I'm sure they broke him into million pieces and this fact broke me a bit too.

-Before I start this whatever, I will ask you a few question, but I dont know that... You're able to answer the questions...

-What questions?

-How much do you want to be free? How much do you want to know them dead?

-So you say, I will be free and no longer under commands? Finally I can be free from them?

-Yes. I can guarantee that.

-Who are you?

-Lemme say, that you met with my grandparents...

His face was so pale when I said that he met with them. After I implanted the blocker, he experienced a littlebit of pain, coz he didnt used to have opinions and peace, and the program just blocked all of those. I meant the HYDRA-programs...

-You might have nightmares still, but at least, they cannot use you anymore. You're free Buck.

-If I find Rumlov or Pierce... I'll kill them without hesitation.

-Take it easy Buchanan, you have so much time. Will you come with me for breakfast?

-They rarely call me like that.

-I hope that it isnt a problem.

I walked into the kitchen with a smirk on my lips, where the Captain raised one of his eyebrows and asked me with that.

-I think he's super confused, and I'm sure those bastards will come to take him back.

Bucky was still afraid but he walked with more confidence than last night. I know it that he need some time to get used to his new surroundings and that fact he doesnt need to kill anymore. The program blocked all of the HYDRA commands. But still, he looked at Steve like he doesnt know him.

-You said that we used to be very good friends...

-You said to me that you're with me till the end of the line.

-I hope you didnt done anything stupid...

-I can not promise that...

-Steve... Dont lie. Or do I need to tell that you love jumping out from planes without parachute? Or that story when you fall 100 meters when we smoked out the HYDRA from SHIELD?

-You didnt changed a damn thing.

We sat down and ate all our breakfast and after that, Steve washed away the dishes, then went away, coz he had serious things to do, he left heavy silence between me and Bucky. His cerulean-greyish eyes hide the most, almost unbearable pain, his walnut brown hair softly framed his features and it was long as Loki's hair...soulder lenght with a little bit of stubble. Completely different from Loki, but as charming as him... But I dont need to pining on things like that, but still... Months went away sinse we had a really heated argument and at the end, I made him leave. He left me in his trademark scent: cinnamon, mint, pine forest and old book.

-What are you thinking about?

-Nothing. Why you would be interested in my problems?

-Its good to tell your problems to strangers.

-But I know who you are.

-You stil can tell me.

-I dont want it.

-You want me to find out?

-Just ask Steve then, he knows what my problem is... I trained with him in the gym, in fact till this day, buf... I got a friend who doesnt liked this..

-Thats good, coz you can train with Steve.

-No, no. Dont misunderstood the situation. He was the best; in everything, well, almost everything.

-How he looked out?

-Tall, like the door over there, shoulder lenght black hair, and gorgeous green eyes. They were envious of him tho... Our relationship doesnt started so well. It's still hard to talk about but this happened almost a year ago... I mean... Our quarell...

-How...how much time do you two...?

-Almost four years. But if you dont mind, I'm going to my room and do some paperwork.

The truth was that I wanted to cry alone, in my room which was still full of Loki's scent.... That doesnt matter that other metal things were here, the God was way stronger. This was the main cause why I cried, but his abscene... was at such level that I started to cry when I saw green... After a few minutes I heard a quiet knock on my door, so I opened up with cried-out eyes.

-Still doesnt matter what's the problem?

-Yes, coz if I tell you, you will laugh at me...

-Why would I do that?

-Soo... I had a very serious and heated quarell with him, and I made him go away. That was a mistake tho; and I start thinking that he's with another.

-Let it go, but as I see, it's not easy to do. Since there is such a scent in your room?

-Since I met with him. It's his trademark scent.

-My hand...

-Do I need to fix it again? I can paint something if you want. Just say it.

-No. What do YOU need?

-Nothing? I have everything. Family, job, money, adrenalin, stress. --he moved closer, and grabbed my hand with his right. As if he knew what powers I own, he looked right in my eyes.

-I'm traumatised, not blind. Dont think that I wont see what you miss.

He let go of my hand, and left me in my room. I went after him, maybe too fast, coz he frooze in his track, and this was the moment I almost regret my whole life.... I kissed him, thanks to an accident. He may thought that I wanted to do because he hugged me at my waist. When I pulled away, Bucky smiled like Loki used to. Not in the mischievous way, more likely in a happy way.

-I...I didnt wanted ...

-I do. Do you want it again?

-I dont know... I have a boyfriend...

-Who went missing a year ago, let it go, you deserve better.

-But you didnt know.... He's not from earth.

-Then Pierce, Rumlov and Zola too...

@winterbuckytho @i-smell-penniess @itsbuckyb1tch

#james buchanan barnes #the winter solider imagine #the avengers #kiss #steve rogers

[tiramisu-talk]

The Purple Game

A few days ago i wrote an “analysis” about The Purple Game on our rottmnt discord server while I was watching it, and I thought it would be nice if I collected everything in one post...

-you know what? i'm gonna rewatch the purple game for the umpteenth time and i'm gonna try to pinpoint why it makes me so damn sad every time

-ALRIGHT HERE GOES

-first thing i notice now, the purple dragons made this game so specifically to cater to donnie there's the giant mech, the competitiveness, exclusiveness, even his favorite color, its kinda scary how well they know him

-the montage of donnie gaming is super unsettling, the way you see the hours fly by,, the close-up shots,,,,

-"yes this is the greatest game of all time stop talking to me" god the way he delivers that line 😭

-i love the way raph nudges donnie here, its such a soft gesture

-HHHHHH THIS BIT, THIS TINY SEQUENCE,,, THEY KNOW DONNIE ISNT FINE

-the way they leave in total silence, with just the music and donnie's frantic clicking in the background,,,

-my heart 😢

-THIS FACE,, there's probably a little voice telling him its a very bad and dishonest idea to steal his brothers' money,, that its not worth the trouble

-raph mikey and leo had such a good time together, and even tho donnie had chosen to stay home they STILL brought him a gift cuz they wanted to share the good times with him 😢😭

-also mikey on raph's shoulders

-although this bit is mostly played for laughs the aggressiveness donnie shows is really accurate for this kind of toxic obsessiveness

-also he says the word 'hiss' out loud, dumbass

-AHHHH the way leo begs donnie for an answer,,, donnie at this point being so numb and detached from reality,,,,

-he destroyed mrs porkycoin

-"what do you do when someone you love is obsessed with something thats bad for them?" we dont deserve raph

-donnie wants to be the best at this game so badly he literally cheats his way to the top,, he wants be good at something,, also what a sharp contrast to leo in minotaur maze :0

-bonus points for the outfit, what an icon

-such a meaningless victory, and yet he's so blissful

-raph leo and mikey are so set on helping donnie out they did what seemed obvious for them, reading every article on the internet about game obsession

-they might not be the smartest but damn do they try and care 😭

-"donnie we need you"

-donnie send shelldon as a replacement because 'he couldnt make it' B I T C H

-raph is SO DONE with donnie,, his soft concern has made place for pure rage and disappointment

-the mech is SO BIG AND VIOLENT OMFG

-THE MUSIC WHEN MIKEY IS RUNNING UP TOWARDS THE MECH,,, ITS SO INTENSE AND I LOVE IT

-the stark contrast between the fight we just saw and the way the game shows,,, its so sharp 😥

-the way mikey says "donnie is... controlling the mech.." is so heartbreaking

-"HEY DONNIE ITS US YOUR BROTHERS" leo i love you so much 😭

-THE GAME ENCOURAGES DONNIE TO KEEP ATTACKING THE BEARS AKA HIS BROTHERS THATS SO CRUEL

-"we gotta get a message to donnie" "how? he doesnt respond to anything" AHHHHHH

-raph really is done with being a softie towards donnie, like what a change he made in this ep in comparison to donnie's gifts

-"Donnie the mech is real, STOP PLAYING THE GAME DONNIE" there's something so eery about the way raph basically begs donnie to stop

-"or should i call you... donnie" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-"...watching you watch us smash them will be JUST AS NICE"

-AHHHHHHHHH INTENSIFIES

-AND RAPH LEO AND MIKEY STILL THINK DONNIE IS THE ONE ATTACKING THEM OMFG

-"BROTHERS"

-oof its so great to see leo and raph using their mystic weapons so much better than before, i'm so proud of them

-what a badass shot, the trinity themselves

-"donnie you gotta stop this, i love you, and you gaming is hurting me, like literally hurting me" WHILE DONNIE IS FORCED TO WATCH HIS BROTHERS BEING CRUSHED BY THE MECH NOOOOOO

-the amount of focus in this face,,, also donnie being able to escape with the help of the gift his brothers bought them is good kush 👌😔

-i love it when he does this expression, his shits-about-to-go-down face

-AHHHHHHHHHH THIS BIT, THE TURTLES LOOK SO BRUISED UP, THE WAY THEY'RE LYING, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY FUCKING DIED

-and donnie??? he doesnt even take the time to free himself first, his brothers are his biggest priority now

-the hug,, the fucking hug,,,, how he uses his spidershell arms to embrace them,, the way he straight up apologizes,,, this hecks me up real good every damn time 😭😭😭

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt

[cheerioss]

desperada reaction

sooo i wasnt gonna do this originally but since im up might as well :)) also again like for reflekdoll im on mobile so i cant add a keep reading thingy sorryyyy :< please skip if u dont wanna see spoilers

-okay this is normal kitty section practicing

-and then the girls talkimg about how lukanette is cute. i can see those cogs in ur head turning alya

-okayokay i dont ship them but them playing guitar together is honestly cute

-from the moment adrien and kagami comes till they all went upstairs: oof that's a bit cringy dksjdj

- no offense kagami i mean i understand if u guys are comfortable with it no hate but um isnt that a biiiiit close he needs his personal space and all--

-awww luka is just so chill abt the whole thing even tho marinette literally pushed him away for adrien U DESERVE MORE PRECIOUS BOI

-boyfriend pfffft-- i almost spit out my drink no joke i was really caught off guard

-jagged being dramatic: MOOD

-isnt that from mari's insta?? i mean isnt anarki leaving been a while already and this album is pretty recent this doesnt really make sense??

-anarki and jagged?? OMG COULD HE BE THE DAD?? IM SMELLING THEORIES NOW

-marinette used to play the flute fslsls now i wanna see this

-ohno ohhhhhhno nononono why do u do this mairnette NO

-hey i really like the akuma's design and the voice really suits her. nice

- luka and adrien being bros YES THIS IS GOOD

-awwww luka u sweet sweet boy please stay safe sfslsldldllf

-MORE BROS HELPING BROS YES WE NEED LUKA AND ADRIEN FRIENDSHIP

-woah so does ladybug just see the world in monochrome when she's transformed?? i thought that only works for lucky charm?? someone pls ask thomas about this please

-adrien: oh shoot im cat noir and ladybug's calling me send help me: HE'S RIGHT THEREEEEEEEEEEE

-OH YES IS THIS WHERE VIPEREON COMES IN PLS SAY YES

-woah there's a room in the sewer?? woah.

-oh poor pigeons they just wanna eat

-uh-oh. why do i feel like somethings gonna go wrong when she has that love-sick look

-the im-trying-hard-not-to-cringe-look master fu is a mood honestly

-adrien agreste's literally right beside u--

-"i have an incredible nose" then why cant u sniff out the fact that marinette is ladybuggggggg

-awwww plagg sounds sad ISSOKAY I LOVE UUU

-adrien u lovesick fool cinnimon bun i love u but this is only gonna bring trouble djsbdjcjd

-OH woahhhhh aspik appears okay i was not expect this idk how to feel xkdjxnsk also sass is so chill must. protect him. ahhhhhh

- marinette laughing at adrien's jokes okay cool cool okay maybe cat noir will say the same thing and she will be annoyed

-marinetteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee WHYYY CANT U JUST- the cat's gone when adrien appears WHY U HAVE TO BE SO DENSE

-"we're okay without him" ohno he looks hurt djdjdjdkkd

-nooooooo plaggggggg don't be sad :<

-OMG ADRIEN DID U JUST REVEAL URSELF AND CONFESSED- oh she looks kinda pissed tho oof

-"trying for months and some long number" omg this is literally me i would have said that too oops but poor boi couldnt stand seeing his lady hurt :(

-okay the cheek kiss is cute NOW WE NEED MORE MARICHAT--

- HOOOOOO VIPEREON'S TRANSFORMATION IS COOL WUT AND HE WANTS TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY PROTECT THIS BOIIIIII

-I KNEW IT I KNEW IT SHE GOT ANNOYED WHEN THE CAT SAID IT I KNEW IT

-the wink thooooooo

-ah another day another time the eiffel tower gets destroyed somehow

-that soft look after ladybug leaves is cuteee

-i still think jagged stone's the dad

-um i mean u cant exactly force someone to make a choice in the love department until they're ready kagami but okay .-.

-YES PREACH ALYA SAY IT LOUDER

#desperada #ml desperada #ml season 3 spoilers #mlb season 3 #ml #mlb #ml spoilers #miraculous spoilers #miraculous ladybug #miraculous

[tokyoghoose]

got any anime recommendations? something underrated or lesser known stuff maybe

Omg yes hold on okay

So

First up one of my favorite series: a certain scientific railgun and its counterparts a certain magical index and a certain scientific accelerator (though i havent watched that one yet)

This series was one of the first ones i watched way back in middle school on youtube and using a funimation free trial. It was my shit and im actually rewatching it now. If you liked My Hero Academia, i really suggest giving these a shot. The first couple episodes might not seem super hype but i promise you give it time. A certain magical index is in my opinion pretty funny and a certain scientific railgun is a bit more serious and dramatic but they blend very well together all the same

Listeners

Its a new anime you can watch on funimation. I started it when it launched and it seems like a really cool idea with loads of potential. I cant wait to see where it goes

corpse princess

I just started this anime not too long ago but i love it. My dad who has been watching anime since he was like twenty suggested it to me and it's fantastic. It starts off straight to the point. Im watching it in sub tho bc the dub voice acting sounds goofy to me and doesnt match with the vibes but whatever you vibe with i suggest. Super dope with pretty cool characters

Kengan Ashura

Not gonna lie it took me a while to get into it and it definitely isnt everyones bread and butter, but i say give it a chance. The animation is super unqiue and the storyline is pretty interesting with intriguing characters. Though be warned its really violent and graphic, so if you dont like seeing super fucked up shit during fights then i dont suggest it.

michiko and hatchin

i dont know if you would consider this underrated but i dont hear a lot about it. It follows a woman and this little girl on the search to find this hunk of a guy. It's kinda slow but its funny and reminds me of a slice of life but with more drama ig? Its really cute to see how they bond and it gives a pretty realistic portrayal of how a little girl and a random chick would act having to team up suddenly, or at least imo it does.

Ranma 1/2

When i a child my dad would put this on ans we would all watch it because we didnt want to watch inuyasha (we made fun of my mom for saying it like washer) anywayz it can be a little questionable at times but its a cute feel good classic to watch whenever you just want to laugh or have something in the background

TWEENY WITCHES

MY MF CHILDHOOD!! I used to have the dvds lol but i loved this anime as a kid. It's the first one i ever watched, but lets be real how much could i comprehend? If you can find where to watch this PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Its super cute and i remember laughing my ass off at it. It definitely deserves more attention.

Black butler

Again not super underrated and was pretty popular a couple years ago at fhe time of like free! And ouran but i dont hear a lot of people talking about it now. In fact, a lot of people i talk to have never seen it. If you havent i suggest it. Its a good starter anime for older kids and adults with more mature themes. Definitely breaks the stigma that anime is just cartoons and for children. I remember watching it in sixth grade and dude i loved that shit, but if you arent sure about the darker themes then id wait. Honestly, if it werent for the fact i was raised on horror movies, i probably wouldnt have watched it. ( which is funny bc i could watch this bht not hsotd until highschool )

I hope this helped. There a definitely tons more than i could suggest but i wanted to give these shot first. Lemme know if you want more. I love giving suggestions and i could talk about it all day. 🤗🤗

#anime recs #ask games! #mickie mentions #ask mic!

[voidselfshipp]

Lonely toucan.

Tommy had recently let me in his small community, I had my own little house to live in, well me , and my dog missy, a Manchester terrier.

And then I met his brother , Joel, he uh.

He was fucking cute, thats what he was.

So, y'know like, those love at first sight bullcrap?, yeah, not so much bullshit now, he and his daughter Ellie,were quite the pair, the kid got on joels nerves playfully, it kind of reminded me of me and my siblings, who were on their way here.

One day however, we needed supplies, ammo, scrap for bombs and traps, there were Many searching parties, one of them was Joel, ellie and me.

My feet drag on the ground, missy was leading the way, long and tall buildings touched the blue Sky,birds Chirped and the place was clear from infected.

-So jerico is it?- ellie asks, wanting to start a conversation- whats your story?-

-Well, im from Argentina, came here before the infection with my siblings , for opportunities, And well, then hell breaks loose and we managed to survive, I at least, left my parents behind , there wasnt much for me back there -

-oh...-the kid says-and your parents?do you know what happened to them?-

-Well, they Passed away after a couple of months after I moved here, so now they are in a better place...i wanna think at least-

And meanwhile Joel was silent , serious expression barely making any sound.

Missy halts and barks, there is a store a couple of meters away, I signal her to come here with me and i scoop her up,just in case we need to bail out.

The shop had a couple of ammo boxes and such, but mostly barren.

-How did you get missy?- Ellie inquires again while searching in a box.

-She was a rescue, after a couple of months of wandering I found her alone on a pet shop, I was astonished when I found her alive, weak but alive, me and my siblings nursed her back to health, and now she is here with me, my loyal companion -

-She is a cute one, isnt she Joel- I kneel down for Ellie to pet her, my dog barks and jumps out off my arms into Joel, licking his face and barking happily when he pets her.

-She likes you-I say,grabbing missy by her leash-come on girl, down, down- the terrier backs off and sits-I saw a room with a shit load of stuff, but equally filled with spores I have no mask-

-We'll go-Joel says, god his voice.

-Oh look!, he talks- I say, sitting with missy, he snorts and shakes his head,I catch a glimpse of a smirk - ill stay here and scan the place, If something comes ill knock on the door-They enter the room, and I just wait, petting missy-you liked Him, dontcha chica?-(girl) she barks and snuggles closer- that makes two of Us.

Meanwhile, Joel and Ellie wander trough the room.

-i saw you smirk, you never smirk with people you just met,whats up with that?-the kid asks.

-Whats up with that?, she has charm,you have to laugh at her comment, shes funny-the Man tries to dismiss the question, but there was truth in there , she was charismatic, and funny, clever even.

-And now you compliment her?, dude ,you totally have a crush on her-

-c'mon Ellie we just met-

-love at first sight is a thing-

Joel groans and both Get out of there , there was a couple of useful things, they all re Group and show what they found.

As they make their way out something stops them, missy grunts, a horde of infected are closing in, too Many to face.

So they run,jeri scoops her dog up and bolts as fast as she can, they enter a departament complex, they barricade Everything they can and sit,waiting.

Vía radio , Joel tells Tom what happened,reinforcements Will come in a bit.

Missy lays down with Joel who is catching his breath.

Jerico finds an ukelele, she hesitates but tunes it as silent as she possibly can, still, they were really far up, and the walls were thick.

-Whats that?- ellie asks.

-A ukelele, Like a mini guitar-she is done tuning it - I wrote a song, its crappy, but y'know , Something to kill the time, also to be noted, I am a hopeless romantic-

-You wrote a song with that thing?-ellie asks, pointing at the ukelele.

-Yeah-jerico nodds

-can I hear it?,please?pleaaase?- the kid pleads

Jeri quickly eyes Joel, who Is sleeping .

-Fine, but not too loud, your oldman is sleeping-

-he is not my dad-

-yeah whatever-both chuckle and jeri starts to play-Oh trough this still waters I flew, my feet barely hitting the surface.

Then I saw you, standing there, I loved every bit of it, oh , to be your River, to flow undisturbed, loving you all the way trough.

But im just a lonely toucan,a silent night owl, that longs to be something else with you.

Oh to be your River, and flow undisturbed, I love you with every ounce of my being, oh to be your River...-

-Thats...too cheesy, you werent kidding about being a hopeless romantic-jerico rolls her eyes- who is it about anyway?- ellie asks, then the older woman looks over to Joel-oh shit , well, I am going to take some fresh air, god, you are too cheesy-

Jeri chuckles and nodds.

She keeps playing unaware of Joel listening to her

--Oh to be your River,flowing trough the storms, with every ounce of my being, my heart sings along.

And even if youre rough, ill Keep flying along, to get to the waterfall.

Oh to be your River, and happily flowing along.

Oh to be your River, and flow with your love-

She is talking about him, he is the only person inside the room that she could have pointed at.

His heart flutters warmly.

Damn this crush of his.

Why does she gotta be so perfect?.

He shifts and she stops playing, then he feels soft fabric cover him, it smelt like leather, did she covered him with her jacket?.

Missy lays her body on Joel and snuggles closer.

He smiles.

-I Knew you were awake!- jerico says-Open your eyes, youre not fooling anyone-

Joel chuckles and looks at her.

-You got me- he doesnt move tho, petting missy's Head-she is really beautiful, Like you-

Jeri's cheeks burn red and looks away.

-Uh t thank you-

They Keep a comfortable silence until missy stands up and sits on the womans lap,demanding attention.

-What did you use to work,before all of this?- Joel drapes jericos jacket on her back again, she smiles at the gesture and signals him to sit close to her.

-i used to work as an animator for a company,my dreamjob really-

-what a shame, I bet you would have exceed at it -

-Heh,i Like to think the same-

Her head falls on joels shoulder, she yawns.

-didnt sleep enough last night?- the Man asks as his arm sneaks his way around her neck she snuggles closer.

-My sleep schedule is fucked-

Joel catches a glimpse of Ellie spying on them Gently peeking over a door, he waves her off and she smirks.

-sleep, you Will need it-

-But what if--

-Sleep now ,ill protect you-

Jerico nodds blushing and snuggles closer to Joel.

Eventually reinforcements arrive.

Back at toms safehouse, jeri is preparing to sleep , snuggling into her covers, herself brought them all the way here, they had the faint smell of vainilla.

A sudden movement made her jump, its Joel.

-You dumbass you scared the living crap out of me!-

Joel chuckles and hands her the ukelele.

-you lost this-

-oh thanks-she says calming down- god im so tired, but I cant sleep-

-want me to lay down with you?-

-Dude , I dont want to bother or seem like a child-she sighs- i just feel unsafe alone..-

The mans face contorns with empathy and kicks off his shoes.

-Make space, c'mon-

Jerico wasnt going to Argue, she lays down,leaving space for Joel to lay down,his arms hug her waist with her back against his chest.

He was warm, they snuggle under the covers , And missy lays down on the edge of the bed where their feet are.

- y'know-jeri says- when I was a teen, I tought that love was bull crap, a few lucky ones could enjoy it, and I was heartbroken,and I just carried this with me, just loneliness, then I saw you and god, I was just smitten-she sighs and turns her head to him-what im saying is....I have a crush on you....-

Joel is taken back but he snuggles closer, whispering a me too into her ear before kissing her, she kisses back and a trail of kisses goes down her neck.

She turns her head back again and smiles.

He hides his face on the crook of her neck and sighs in content.

They both can take a bit of time off, Togheter,just them, nothing else exists.

A sweet and soft 'I love you'loosens from the Mans lips before they crash into a well deserved And very needed slumber.

Even the apocalypse had good things.

[Fin]

:3

#joel miller #f/o community #f/o #romantic f/o #f/o x s/i #f/o tag #s/i community #s/i x canon #s/i #fictional boyfriend #fictional other #fictional love #f/o fic #tlou joel

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

#Anonymous #sorry if this is a mess but i got a lot of feelings abt the shitty advice that's out there for addicts and i dont know shit except my ideas #and all i can do is pass it along but pls still remember there are plenty more things that could work so if these dont strike a chord lmk #and i can try to think of more and reach out to my friends who are addicts and see what works for them #i love you i love you and i love you and i like you