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capricious-bastard13 · 7 months

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I've watched Jack's (Jacksepticeye's) playthrough of MyHouse.Wad, and at first, because I only heard of Doom and never played it, I let it play in the background. Until Jack's voice starts reading the attached letter to the game.

My thought immediately went, "This is something, and I feel like I'll like this something." I rewind it and watched it from the very start to the end. But I felt it wasn't all that it was, I bounced from his to the comments, explaining the game and all being recommended to play it for yourself. I don't have the resources to do so, so when I saw a comment about a video explaining it, I looked it up. The video lays out the house and the different ways you can go from point a to point b. I've seen Power Pak's after watching Jack's playthrough. And just now, I've watched Pyrocynical's video and theory on it.

There's two that stood out to me, near the end; he lays out the theories and practically dismisses the queer interpretations of it. Until now, I've always been in the camp of "Thomas and Steve were a couple, but due to the time period, or their families, they kept it hidden." When watching Pyro's video, I started realising, why were there pills on the bathroom floor, why the crib, the ring? And I felt like Pyro was nearly there, he was so close to putting it together.

But he dismisses Thomas perhaps being trans or that Steve and Thomas are gay--calls a "fat stretch" and "Level difficulty: Medium" respectively.

I've prefaced all this, because as someone who's transmasc, it felt invalidating. For months I've seen this game--although I never played it and only watched it--as a queer story of grief and loss, of processing that loss, of going through stages of denial, of reliving memories, of just wanting to reach an end where you feel at peace, of looking back on that journey and thinking to yourself that you've made it--past the hardships to a place where you can feel at peace again.

MyHouse.wad being as ambiguous as it is but leaving all these little tidbits is as when it comes to art, hard to piece together. But hearing about how there's also a trans interpretation of made me perk up, thinking, "oh, it's going to be talked about in detail," only to be disappointed.

So, despite being that MyHouse.wad has probably had this interpretation ("tHeOrY") put up already, I still felt compelled to write my own view on it using the pieces that I know of--but, there might be details that I describe vaguely because I don't remember them all that much.

We get tiny little small glimpses of Thomas through Steve's entries, of introduction we get along with the link to download it. And even just from the descriptions of the items in the game like the ring, the die, and whatnot. And the first thought is, "oh, they're gay, but they're not out," which is a sad thought, yes. But I held that interpretation close to me. It's a journey of Steve trying to get through his grief, of plunging in to his thoughts, dismantled and breaking apart as they are. The rawness of everything, of how for him, it probably felt so fresh still and this game, of going through their mod map is his way of processing--never mind how it consumed him, as he said.

And what I consider to be the best ending; the real beach, with a heart on the sand, initials--"S and A, forever". Who's 'A'? Isn't it supposed to be 'T' for Thomas?

I've seen how 'A' could be for "Allord", Thomas' last name, and at the time, yeah, maybe it is A for Allord. But what if it isn't? What if 'A' is the deadname--using that initial, despite it being a deadname, was probably used to protect them, protect him-Thomas. To be seen a heteronormative couple to get away from the hate, the stares, the animosity.

What about the excerpt of their death? Thomas' photo clearly being of a man? Well, that's just it. It's an indication of how the family has accepted Thomas for who he is and to honor him properly, used what a photo of what he looks like now, of who he really is. Proudly too, showing him as Thomas Allord, age 35, in the newspapers. This is their son, brother, and husband.

This is certainly something that will be labeled as a "fat stretch". The crib, then? The pills? And the bloodied bathroom? Perhaps, Thomas had gotten pregnant, experienced a miscarriage in the airport bathroom and had to be rushed to the hospital. As Steve puts in the description of the baby bottle; "It wasn't meant to be." And as he writes in his journal entry, he had a dream, a baby crying in the attic, in the crib, a still born baby.

Perhaps, Thomas was ready to carry the baby--their baby and due to complications, what happened, happened. They'd already bought the crib, but put it away, and we see, maybe both of them had hope that they still had a chance, clinging on.

"If Steve and Thomas are together as you say, then why does Steve refer to Thomas as "my friend" or "my childhood friend"?" Living through life closeted brings habits, unfortunately.

I've grown up without realising that I'm trans, and it was only the past few years where I've realised that the gender I was given and raised to be, isn't who I am. Despite my family knowing, they still call me with feminine pronouns, I get referred to as "sister", or "she/her" a lot of the times. And it's become the biggest norm for me that they just fly by my head without even noticing it, without getting the chance to say "that's not my pronouns".

Is this a "weak" point of the "theory"? No, because I see it as valid. People who aren't out or don't have the chance to express who they are live day to day with being misgendered, seen as someone they're not. I don't want to say, "everybody experiences this" or that there are people who don't go through intense dysphoria that it becomes crippling; I'm just saying, that for me, this is how my day to day is today, what it's like--a sort of cynical indifference to it that boils beneath the surface of my skin.

Or, this is Steve's way to be ambiguous; Thomas was Steve's friend first before they reunited, gotten married, lived together, after all.

Maybe, he wanted to detach himself in his grief and longing. A way to protect himself from the immense loss he's going through and this is his way of doing that. By saying that Thomas was just a childhood friend, it probably eased the pain just a bit.

Or, Power Pak states in his video, isn't it strange how explicit names are never--if ever, rarely-- given. Thomas' name doesn't show up until February of 2023. Steve's name is never used. Maybe, Steve wasn't the one who wrote the journal; a third party who saw the effects of loss on Steve, instead?

In the newspaper clipping of Thomas' life, it's stated how he reconnected with his high school crush, got married and moved in with his partner. The ambiguity could mean that the family simply didn't want bigots to be bigots toward their loved one.

In Steve's clipping detailing his life, he also reconnected with his high school crush. "Soulmate", this person is described as. And like with Thomas', "partner" is used, rather something explicit like, "husband" or "wife."

Although, "wife" can't be correct either since Steve doesn't have a partner listed who outlived him, simply his family.

With MyHouse.wad being as up for interpretation as it is, there's ways of reading into things, one can take it however way they want to, where they want to.

And I, personally, like to think that Steve and Thomas are happy together, with their cat, cuddled up together in their home.

You picked up Die. "Roll for intercourse?"

I feel so helpless, like I can't do anything to bring him back. I feel so sad and it feels like my heart is heavy. I can't help but think about all of the fun times we had together growing up. All of our adventures, our secrets, and even our arguments. I miss him so much and I can't believe he's gone.

You picked up Ring. "I do."

I attended the funeral of my childhood friend, and I was overwhelmed with grief. As I looked around at everyone else in the room, I could feel the sadness in the air... I never imagined that I would be saying goodbye to my friend so soon.

You picked up Wine Bottle. "Drunk Buddy." You picked up a Bauble. "Christmas makes me happy."

Happy Valentines day to the only person I ever loved. For a short time, you brought a little happiness to this painful existence called life. I hope we can be together again one day.

You picked up Baby Bottle. "It wasn't meant to be." You picked up Pill Bottle. "Refill needed." You picked up Full Pill Bottle. "Feelin' fine."

You picked up Game Controller. "It's my turn."

Somewhere, in another dream, the version of myself that winked back is sitting on the real beach, happy and content, knowing life is finite, there is no afterlife, and happiness is found in the small things around us that we can control. Happiness has to be fought for.

#MyHouse.wad #My Writing #-ish?#If someone reads this please be nice I know I probably got somethings wrong #Or that this interpretation has already been talked about #I just wanted to make a sort of timeline ish interpretation thing so I can get my own thoughts in order #I also know nothing about the Doom community and I only know stuff about MyHouse.wad #Pyrocynical practically dismissing the queer reading and then finding MyHouse's developer's previous partner as if to say #“See guys?” feels quite dirty #in a sense where it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth #Of course MyHouse.wad's story is fiction #but intentionally going out of your way to show the developer's family like it's a Gotcha Moment #Pyro was so close to putting the pieces of a puzzle together but it's as if he's trying to cram in two already interconnected pieces #Into the wrong holes and going “It just won't fit!”#Thomas and Steve left things ambiguous because there are things that are probably just too private and simply only for them #I can't believe honestly how he went about Thomas being trans or how Steve and Thomas can't be gay #Only to talk about their matching obituaries for the next theory #Then adding in the whole "the developer based this mod on his relationship with his partner is just #Do you not know how to separate fact from fiction? Because of course MyHouse is going to be fiction?#If Steve really is dead then Veddge's introduction to the game and saying how his “childhood friend” has passed and implying that #Veddge /is/ Steve? Do you not see how strange that would be? Or does he think that someone from Steve's life is just going around #With his account acting as if they are Steve?#My head's starting to hurt from all this Pyro honestly the fuck lmao

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haru-yakumo · 25 days

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A Little About Me

Hello, Im Haru your Local Rabbit, and Gordon Simp, and welcome to my Tumblr!!!

Here I post Gordon The Best Boy

Here are Some things you should know about me besides the Mentioned Above

Im super Open Minded so I can listen with an open ear!

I have severe Jealousy issues, and abandonment issues (so with that being said if you see my boyfriend who follows my Tumblr and literally spams me lol please be respectful, as the reason is that I know some people on a different site who tried to take him from me because he was named Gordon, to Help you here is his handle so you don't flirt with him @gordonthebigg)

Im fine with people shipping themselves with Gordon, but when It goes as far as them being territorial and being hypocrites, that's when I draw the line, so if you are one of those people this blog isn't for you

This Blog is also for adults only so if you're not an adult please Avoid it as this blog is also an open-minded space for mature adults. that and I ain't catching no case

That is all folks, Thank you for Reading this and this was also a rant to but I hope you find safety in this blog!

For now, here is this Gordon:

Editors Note: I forgot to mention that there will also be topics that people get triggered at, so if you get triggered easily please step off this blog

#ttte gordon #the rabbit is tweakin #gordon the big engine #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #touhou #introduction #pinned intro #pinned post #intro post #gordon #gordaddy

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b4b3tte · 1 year

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MY INTRO AND MASTERLIST!

| Bisexual | Mexican & Dutch | Single | ☆

- i speak English, Spanish! currently I’m learning french and Dutch

Hobbies I enjoy ♡

- Writing, Drawing and making jewelry

Interests I have ☆

- Acting, Music, Skin care, Makeup & Astrology

Dislikes/Yuck ♡

- Toxic Fandom’s, People from Ohio, Mistreated books, Awful Movie Endings, Mathematics, Homophobia & Transphobia

WRITING CHARACTERS ☆

Series and movies I’ll write for (including characters!!) and reminder I do write for female, male, gender neutral, non binary, transgender readers just give me a request in my inbox!! Besitos 💋

- WEDNESDAY ☆

- Wednesday Addams, Enid, Tyler, Rowan, and Bianca

THE BLACK PHONE♡

- Finney blake, Robin Arellano and Vance hopper

- SLASHERS ☆

- Brahms heelshire, Bo Sinclair, Billy loomis, Stu macher, Vincent sinclair

- BARBIE ♡

- Ken, Barbie and Allan

- ROCKY ☆

- rocky balboa and Adrian

- TULSA KING ♡

- Dwight Manfredi, Tyson Mitchell and Mitch Keller

MORTAL KOMBAT11 ☆

Kano,Erron Black,Kabal,Johnny cage, Milena,Sonya,Cassie,Baraka,Jade,Kitana,Skarlet, D’Vorah, Kollector, Rain

I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WRITING :

Physical abuse, Any forced sexual activities unless it’s CNC, Any hate towards LGBTQ People/Rights, Any hate towards Transgendered people/Rights, Or any hate towards race. Pedophilia, Incest topics or activities, Eating disorders, Cat calling topics, Body negativity or shaming, Self harm or anything that falls under these categories I’m sorry but these are my boundaries.

WHAT I FEEL COMFORTABLE WRITING :

Fluff, Angst, Jealousy, yandere, possessive, kidnapping, Smut,Murder,fanfics, Head canons, One shots,Series, Friends to lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Lovers to friends,LGBTQ Characters, Custom OCs, Song inspired posts, Poly head canons, Male Reader, Female Reader, Non binary Reader, Requests and much more.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post I love you and have a good day today!! ☆

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carolmaclaine · 2 years

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Yeah, I know, he does terrible things to Tom. Nasty, even sadistic things. But that’s fine, as long as that’s what Tom wants. Think about it, his actions, he’s always asking for it. It’s his partners job to fulfill that need, and Jerry knows that.

Proof...?

Well, in ‘The Tom and Jerry Show’, they live with each other--

#the most character introduction ever #we won't acknowledge tom being a nickname for thomas and jerry being a nickname for george tho #Deadly Premonition #video games #flashing gif

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dailyttteedward · 8 months

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Hello Tumblr!

In case you might've not heard, Daily Edward originally popped up on Twitter (now called X) in 2022.

Please take a quick look at the doc below and have fun showing your appreciation for the old iron engine man!💙

#2023 #ttte #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #edward #introduction #account policy

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veronicamarsconfessions · 8 months

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#Veronica Mars #Rob Thomas #VMars #Logan Echolls #Noir #Veronica Mars Revival #I got this from Twitter #sorry I don't remember where did I got it #sorry for using your meme #but it really fit #my hatred for this man needs no introduction

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tutyayilmazz · 2 years

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❝ As you all know, we started playing on the streets of this city, not far from here. On these streets, we were playing

This is not music, this is life, this is what I live for ❞

#(to be clear he didn't say the lyrics but i abridged his introduction into the lyrics)#måneskin #maneskin #damiano david #thomas raggi #victoria de angelis #ethan torchio #(also i understood this much even though my italian isn't great but maybe it was worded slightly differently? but the gist sounds best in #translation like this imo)#circo massimo

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logically-asexual · 1 year

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“Will you be wise? will you be guided? will you suffer me to take this glass in my hand and to go forth from your house without further parley? or has the greed of curiosity too much command of you?”

From Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, by Robert Louis Stevenson

#an attempt was made #happy late birthday janus #this took me all weekend #picked that quote because it reminds me of janus’s introduction #janus sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #lunas art #if it can be called so #ts #deceit sanders

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5-7-9 · 5 days

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idea: Izzy and WAR taking care of Iz’s family cat

#(Selina can be there as a treat; it’s probably hers anyway)#(Selina and Duke also need a redo introduction too)#Izzy ortiz #we are robin #duke thomas

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beepmeowz · 5 months

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My Caard, Commissions, and introduction :)

let me introduce myself! hi! my name is Nicodemus, but all of my chums call me Nikki. im a queer aspiring comic artist and animator from Toronto! i use They/it/ze/cat pronouns :3

im a long time fander (6 years and going strong) a homestuck, a furry, and a general fan of fiction podcasts!

im also very into Internet history / archiving and examining our fandoms by how we consume fan fiction. (if you ever have any fandom lore youd like to share or a notorious fic from your fandom you'd like me to read PLEASEEE send me an ask!!)

@beepmeowiskarkat is my art blog!

im also matesprites with @levnixattorney <3

my moirail isn't on tumblr but I've gotta bully him to make an acc lol

also here is a direct link to my commission form! :3

im not in a desperate spot atm but definitely not doing well financially. all commissions are very appreciated! :D

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #homestuck #introduction #intro post #blog intro #doctor who #supernatural #small artist #digital art #art commissions #art blog #hannibal

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prodigal-explorer · 1 year

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🌠 welcome to my intro! 🌠

a few people might know me from my other blog, @golden-songbird, but this is my new sanders sides/omori/your turn to die main blog! i write a lot of stories, make a lot of headcanons, and think a lot of thoughts, so if you're someone who likes analyzing sanders sides/omori/your turn to die or just sanders sides/omori/your turn to die content in general, this might be the blog for you!

also, i'm just gonna put my masterlist here! this has all of my stories, fanfics, and writing guides!

now for some more about me!

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🌟 annie is my name!

🌟 19 - 01.30 (aquarius)

🌟 he/she/star pronouns

🌟 enfj

🌟 i speak english, but i am learning french (i consider myself to be at an intermediate level), and i want to learn tagolog!

🌟 i don't know my gender, but i identify as lesbian!

🌟 i am filipino-american, and i am mixed! i am very proud of my heritage and i talk about it a lot!

🌟 i have ehlers-danlos syndrome, pots, adhd/autism, and anxiety.

🌟 i am an ambivert who loves people but also loves my space! i am very honest and open about my boundaries. i'm not a passive-aggressive type, and i like to communicate.

🌟 i don't really consider myself a proshipper or an anti. i kinda just stay out of all that because i don't believe that censorship is okay or good, but i also don't promote harmful ideas. not to say that either of those types of people always do those things, but it's just a weird slippery slope that i honestly touch grass too much to care about.

🌟 i'm a rising sophomore in college and i am currently majoring in theatre performance, but i am transitioning to get my bfa in acting!

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✩ likes:

writing, reading, classical literature, fanfiction, journaling, musical theatre, theatre, singing, dancing, acting, video games, sunny weather, mornings, dogs, pigs, asian history, african history, pacific history, women's history, learning new things, tea, sweet foods, candy, makeup, skincare, self-care, perfume, and most of all, my twin sister!

✩ shows i watch:

i don't watch a lot of tv, but when i do, i default to the same shows. sanders sides, anne with an e, modern family, little house on the prairie, dance moms, south park, alexa and katie, no good nick, high school musical the musical the series, curious george, and fraiser are my favorites!

✩ video games i play:

i love video games but i'm not great at them. my favorite games of all time are omori, your turn to die, animal crossing new horizons, legend of zelda: breath of the wild (i haven't played totk yet, please no spoilers!!), spiritfarer, hades, good pizza great pizza, undertale, deltarune, pokémon emerald rogue, and story of seasons: pioneers of olive town. i'm looking forward to playing all the story of seasons games in the future!

✩ my favorite plays and musicals:

my favorite plays are little women (adapted by kate hamil), dance nation, fences, the glass menagerie, equus, eurydice, a raisin in the sun, and especially the miracle worker.

my favorite musicals are hadestown, ragtime, alice by heart, matilda, gypsy, west side story, ragtime, in the heights, great comet of 1812, pippin, come from away, the color purple, amelie, the mad ones, and fun home.

✩ celebrities i enjoy:

i don't really talk about celebrities much, but when i do, it's about these guys: maddie ziegler, chloe lukasiak, nia sioux fraizer, jojo siwa (i don't really know all the drama surrounding her, i just like her message), paige hyland, sofia vergara, lea salonga, eva noblezada, lin manuel miranda (i just think he's goof), beth malone, phillipa soo, karen olivo, dolly parton, amber gray, lauren zakrin.

✩ dislikes:

bossy people, authority in general, staying up late, coffee, bitter foods, dear evan hansen, be more chill, most cartoons, roller coasters, twitter, dream smp, milk, traveling, writer's block, lifting heavy things, being teased, passive-aggressive people, patton sanders, basil, keiji shinogi.

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here's the stuff about me pertaining to sanders sides!

★ my favorite side is roman, i actually kin him and relate to him a lot!

★ my least favorite side is patton. i don't think he's evil or anything, but i am very critical of him and i make him the antagonist in a lot of my aus.

★ my opinion on the sides from favorite to least favorite are as follows: roman, logan, remus, virgil, janus, patton.

★ i am an avid remy enjoyer and i think emile picani is cool.

★ i do a lot of canon-deviant headcanons such as race headcanons, pronoun headcanons, and disability headcanons. i am very respectful of these things and do lots of research, mainly because such headcanons are usually projections of myself and my own experiences.

★ i write a lot of sanders sides fanfiction and roleplay ideas, as well as aus. feel free to use anything you'd like for inspiration as long as you give me credit! i've had my work stolen before and it doesn't feel good.

★ my favorite ships (in no particular order) are roceit, prinxiety, logince, literally all poly combos of roman/logan/janus/virgil, intrulogical, analogical, dukeceit, remy/roman, remy/remus, remile, roman/emile, and loceit!

★ my least favorite ships are pretty much all patton ships and remrom. i'm not a remrom destroyer who will burn down your house if you ship remrom (as long as they're like- not explicitly brothers) but i'm an identical twin so the idea of them being in love is super weird to me lmao. i can't take it seriously.

★ i love talking about sanders sides please talk to me about sanders sides! especially if it looks like we have a lot in common!

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here are my other socials!

✯ ao3: ultraluminary

✯ quotev: tinyrevolt

✯ discord: waterfalldancer

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thanks for reading all that! i hope we become great friends!

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fandom #sanders sides fanfiction #tumblr intro #tumblr introduction #introduction #intro #roman sanders #roman sanders kin #tss

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