#tried to do some less-giffed scenes

[johnbly]

happy 20th anniversary to the curse of the black pearl! (july 9, 2003)

#pirates of the caribbean #potc #potcedit #disneyedit #the curse of the black pearl #*potc #my gifs #if you listen closely you can hear me screaming about how gentle james is with baby will #but anyways happy anniversary to the movie and series of all time #tried to do some less-giffed scenes

[atrwriting]

kisses and other sweet things — billy the kid x cowgirl!reader

ok… i couldn’t help myself lol

also side note i don’t remember what scene this gif was from but i feel like his turned on look and look of disgust/confusion is the same — like if i hadn’t watched the show i’d be like “did he just see a pretty girl walk in?? or did someone just threaten him?? both??? hopefully both???”

but like also if he looked at me like that…,,,… melting. on the spot.

as always, warnings: smuuuuut, dom!billy, brat!reader, i don’t know if you can call it non-con but just to be safe im going to put that, p in v sex, oral, spitting in mouth (yeah i went there sue me), tears, biting, cums inside of reader (they didn’t have condoms in his time but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use them!!!!)

also don’t sue me i don’t know if they had running water (sinks, baths, etc) but also the real billy the kid didn’t look this fine so we’re making it up as we go and going with the flow

ENOUGH TALK — here’s kisses and other sweet things…

you had been working with a crew for some time now, and as you all struggled to keep a cash flow — you had to turn to other things.

like joining forces with another crew.

the idea of joining a crew wasn’t what unsettled you — what unsettled you was being the only woman with a gun with even more men.

it’s just for one job, y’all, they had said. just this one.

one job turned into two. then that turned into three. four, five, six — and suddenly you knew everyone’s back story, drink of choice, and their type when it came to women of the night.

your first crew never asked how you felt, but you also never told them. they were all — including you — in it for the money. at the end of the day, it was all about what you had in your pockets. there was no time for quelling the simple worries, like they’d call the ones in your head.

at the end of the day — you had been doing this a long time. you had taken care of yourself up until this point, and you would continue to do so. didn’t matter who you were working with — you’d get it done.

after a day of success, everyone wanted to blow off steam. you all had found a boarding house for the night where the alcohol ran deep and there was two or three pretty women for each cattle rustler in your large group. you stayed behind a bit to drink with them, but once they started eyeing the women — you knew it was time to go.

sleeping with any of the men you worked with was also a bad idea. you couldn’t afford them seeing you as anything less than someone quick with a draw — and you worried a night of meaningless sex would ruin that.

you would never take the chance.

“have your fun, boys,” you chuckled. “you deserve it.”

“won’t stay a little longer, sweetheart?” your leader asked as a girl licked at his neck.

“another time — bath’s calling my name.”

a few pleasantries were thrown over shoulders, and you returned them. you made your quick escape up the stairway and into the shared washroom between three or four bedrooms. you knew your party had rented those rooms for the evening, so you were very excited to be able to have the bath to yourself for a little bit longer than usual.

you filled the tub with scalding hot water. the steam from the water and the whisky in your stomach made you hazy, but you welcomed it. who knew when you’d have until you had this sort of luxury or privacy again — you weren’t going to waste the chance.

the bath was quite large — fit for two or three people. you stayed on one edge as you washed your dirty skin. you were about to relax against the back when the doorknob began to turn.

you immediately snatched your gun and pointed it at the door.

“shit — sorry.”

it was the bonney kid.

he was holding a towel in his hand and was naked from the waist up. a scared look on his face was present as he tried to avert his eyes.

you put down the gun and raised an eyebrow, waiting for his next move.

“just came to wash up,” he spoke.

you knew he couldn’t see anything from where he stood, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to see below the water’s surface with the bubbles. you could tell him to fuck off — but being mean to some of these assholes sometimes proved to be worse than just swallowing your pride and being nice. you didn’t know billy very well — and you weren’t about to find out while you were naked if he was an asshole or not.

“i’m going to be a bit,” you spoke. “i don’t mind if you come in.”

he looked at you uneasily before nodded curtly, lips parting. you closed your eyes and leaned back against the tub, letting your eyes drift closed. you heard the water running and the sound of soap being scrubbed onto skin, and felt better. the next sound you heard was a razor being pulled out and your eye drifted open.

he was shaving.

he kept his gaze on himself in the mirror as he spoke. “surprised the kid can shave?”

you smiled. “never thought you were a kid from how you were with a gun.”

that made him smile. “never seen a women like you with a gun before.”

you hummed in response, not exactly sure how to respond.

“come up here to escape?”

that made you laugh. you couldn’t help but let your gaze fall on his reflection in the mirror. his eyes were trained on his skin as he let the blade slide down his neck and pull up loose hairs. your mind was hazy with drink and heat, which made you forget to respond.

“some people would say it’s rude to stare, sweetheart.”

you laughed at that — he had you there.

“and some people would say it’s rude to intrude on a woman’s bath,” you countered.

he smiled, but kept his eyes off you. you’d like to think it was out of respect. “…and would you?”

“not with you,” you offered. “you’re the only one who hasn’t tried to make a pass at me.”

“not hard to believe,” he spoke. “downstairs they’ve got a running bet to see who will be the first with you.”

you scoffed. “in their dreams.”

billy didn’t respond. he was almost done with shaving. he was washing more of his upper arms in the sink, and you suddenly felt bad. you were only taking this long because you thought everyone would be preoccupied with the downstairs activities, and because you couldn’t exactly exit with him standing there — able to see you.

“i can leave if you want to wash,” you spoke.

“water will be cold,” he responded. “‘s fine — i’ll wait the hour.”

you weren’t sure why — but that made you feel bad.

“you could join me.”

you weren’t sure what brought that on, and you knew you’d probably regret it later. however, billy’s eyes drifted up the length of the mirror to the edge where you knew he could see the tub, to your eyes. you weren’t sure how you looked — but you knew your curls were piled on top of your head and you looked sleepy. relaxed, even. peaceful.

“i don’t think you mean that, sweetheart.”

you hummed. “you don’t have to. just thought i’d offer.”

he appeared to sigh, and that’s when you thought he would leave — but he didn’t.

instead, he locked the door.

“should’ve done that in the first place,” he spoke before coming towards the tub to unlace his pants.

you turned your head away from him and let out a small giggle, shielding your gaze from his naked form. “how would we have gotten so well acquainted then, mr. bonney?”

you heard him find the other side of the tub where he sat back against. you let your eye line find in front of you and your jaw almost dropped at the sight. billy appeared to struggle to get comfortable as he sank into the warmth of the tub. the water line came up to right under his chest, showing off all of his perfect and trim muscles. with billy’s arms stretched out around the edge of the tub… you got the perfect view of the stretched muscles of his biceps.

“do i need to remind you about staring?” he asked.

you weren’t sure if he was joking — but he was right. if you wanted respect, you had to give it, too.

but you couldn’t deny just how handsome he was.

“sorry,” you said with a coy smile, and let your head fall back against the tub again.

you could hear water slightly splashing from the other side of the tub. billy had extended his legs so they were brushing yours slightly, and you shivered at the thought.

“can you…” he began. “can you get my back?”

you lifted your head and smiled. i can do all that and more if you asked, you thought.

“sure,” you said with a simple smile.

billy turned around and handed you the soap. there were a few cuts and bruises littered on his back, and you tried to be as careful with them as possible. you started on his neck, working the soap and the sponge against his muscles.

he hummed in response. you could’ve died at the thought of the big, bad billy the kid keening into your touch because you were massaging his muscles just right.

“that feels good,” he spoke. “talented fingers i suppose.”

you laughed lightly at that. you kept the sponge on his shoulders, and then worked down towards the expansion of his shoulder blades. it was scary to see such a broad man before you as you were so bare, but also the look of him was so enticing. you drew rough circles on his skin and worked your way down to the middle of his back.

“that’s good,” he replied. “thank you, darlin’.”

you went to hand the sponge back to him, but he turned around in place instead. the tops of your breasts were showing and you knew he could see the wildness in your eyes.

“how’d a sweet thing like you end up with us?” he asked, eyes searching yours for the answer.

“maybe i’m just the only one who knows how to handle you boys,” you spoke, trying to be coy. “actually… one of them i grew up with. we’ve always worked together, but that’s as far as it’s ever gone.”

“and what would he say if he knew if you were in here with me?” he asked.

you scrunched your eyebrows at him. “wouldn’t be his business. he’s also got a pretty blonde in his lap tonight. change of pace from his usual red head.”

“and he missed a chance to get to see you like this?” he asked, tucking a curl behind your ear.

“is his loss your gain, mr. bonney?” you asked, a smile drifting onto your face.

that was bold. you knew it. you could feel it.

“i think you’d have to ask the pretty miss before me,” he responded, inching his face closer. “she’d be mighty sweet if she let me kiss her.”

“she’s pretty pissed you haven’t already.”

he stared at you for a few minutes with his plump and pink lips parted in such a way where you knew thoughts were running behind his pretty eyes. he dipped his forehead towards yours as the intensity of the situation mixed with the hot steam around you and the liquor inside both of you. he dipped his chin once, and caught your waiting lips with ease.

his lips were dry and cracked against yours, but you loved it. billy was the type of man that was hard and worked even harder, and every bit of him reflected that. his dark curls were twirling around his hairline, mixing with sweat and soapy water. you wanted to brush them back, hop in his lap, and kiss him until there was more water on the floor than in the tub.

but you couldn’t — not yet.

billy’s lips folded between yours as if he was just happy to be here — with you. the feeling was intoxicating as there was nothing like sharing intimacy with a sweet man in the comfort of hot water. you couldn’t help yourself in that moment — you brought your hand up to cup the side of his face, and he sucked in a sharp breath in response.

“you can touch me, you know,” you whispered.

“the things i want to do to you, darlin’…” he spoke, shaking his head and trying to catch his breath at the same time. “shouldn’t be wasted in a tub. let me take you back to your room.”

you both left the bathtub and tried your best to dry off as quickly as possible. it was almost hard to believe you were giggling with billy like innocents as you raced back to your room — hoping not to run into any more cowboys.

you immediately pushed him to sit down on the edge of the bed before you climbed into his lap. his thighs were strong and thick — the perfect foundation for a thing like you to hold yourself up enough to grab his cock in your hands, and swallow his moans through another kiss.

“tried not to stare in the bathtub, billy… but can you blame me?” you asked, breathless.

“noticed you starin’,” he grunted, running his calloused hands all over your body. “couldn’t help but stare back. needed to see where the trigger on you was.”

you squealed in delight at his dirty mouth before he threw you off his lap and rolled you over. he immediately started kissing down your body.

“i want you inside me, billy,” you whined. “not that.”

he worked his way back up to you before he caught you in another chaste kiss. against your lips, he spoke, “i’m a gentleman, sweetheart, first and foremost.”

“and what if a dirty little thing like me didn’t want a gentleman?”

he caught your chin in between his pointer finger and thumb and extended your neck ever so slightly. he looked down his nose at your pretty, flushed face. you smiled up at him as he scanned your face. “then i’d tell you — if i’ve got you all to myself, i’m going to do anything i want with that pretty little pussy. planned on tastin’ you, sweetheart — you got a problem with that?”

a wide grin spread across your face as your cheeks became rosier. “can’t say i can argue with you, then, cowboy.”

he pressed a heavy kiss to your lips, your cheek, one on the base of your neck — and then bit down hard on the skin of your shoulder. immediately, your hands came up to lay across his biceps before he began to suck on the spot, sending shock waves throughout your body. he withdrew from you and was in between your thighs in an instant.

he spread your legs and held them down in place. his tongue was strong and thick as it explored the places between your folds. you hoisted yourself onto your elbows so you could get a better look at the angel before you.

you watched as his eyes close as his tongue drew sloppy, wet circles around your clit. your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you watched him bring a hand up to his mouth, lubricate his fingers, and prod at your entrance. billy let out a throaty groan as his two fingers slipped in with ease, exploring for that one special spot.

he watched as your pussy swallowed his fingers, hoping to trap them inside of you. you were almost vibrating at how good it felt to have his fingers inside of you and his drier thumb deliver the most delicious bouts of friction and pressure to your clit.

“yes —“ you gasped, gazing at his fingers.

his eyes immediately flicked up to yours. “still got a problem with this, doll?”

you folded your lips into each other as you shook your head slowly, holding his gaze. you were biting back the moan as he curled your fingers inside of you.

“no, that’s not how this works,” he stated. “if i’m making you feel that good, i should get to hear those pretty moans, don’t you think?”

a deep crease was forming in your brow with the perfect combination of friction, lubrication, pressure, and rhythm you had ever felt. you wanted to respond to him, of course, but how could you?

“i gotta work for it, that it?” he grunted. “oh, sweet thing…”

he shoved a third finger inside of you and you gasped. you couldn’t help it. you fisted the sheets on either side of you and threw your head back in the air. his thumb was working long, drawn out circles on your sensitive clit as your hips bucked up to meet his movements.

“that’s what you needed, baby?” he asked. “break so easily. i’d fit another, but this pussy is so sweet and tight — can’t fit.”

you were practically whining at his words. he would switch between his tongue and thumb every few seconds to show you the type of variety that had your toes curling. his groans against your pussy were the added vibration that kept your hips moving to meet his face.

“tastes so fuckin’ sweet,” he grunted, his eyes closed. “can’t wait to stuff my cock in there.”

“don’t be mean to me, billy,” you gasped. “i want to feel your cock so bad, please…”

“no, baby,” he refused. “not until i make you feel good. you want my cock? yeah, well — you know what i want.”

you whined in frustration at his words — his words, the addition of what was making the heat and pressure build, and build, and build inside you until you were a sobbing mess on the bed.

“that’s it, sweetheart — give in,” he gasped. “i wanna know how good i’m making you feel.”

his voice was so husky it was taking over all of your senses. you hung onto every word as he led you closer and closer to what was your tipping point. he was stretching you so taut — like a string, ready to snap. when he suddenly pulled his hand away, you barely noticed it — until he replaced it with his cock.

you gasped at what came next.

first it was your legs — they immediately began to shake uncontrollably. the immense pressure started at your curled toes, your stretched feet, and worked its way up all the way to your shaking calves and thighs. the warmth coaxed your hips into a soft roll as you rode out your orgasm — blinded by the ecstasy of it all.

you immediately grabbed onto billy for dear life as all of your senses fucking swam. it was wave, after wave, after wave that hit you, arched your back towards the ceiling, and left you fucking breathless. your mouth fell open instantly, parted as whines and soft moans left and filled the open air of your bedroom.

and what did billy do? he grabbed you by the chin, still rutting his hips against yours, and spit in your fucking mouth.

“swallow,” he ordered, eyes boring down into yours.

you gasped as you understood his command, and like the good girl you were — you did as you were told.

“good girl,” he whispered from above you, stroking your chin.

you sucked in a sharp breath of air as you tried to regain your senses. you hoisted yourself back into your elbows, trying to focus — but it was just so hard. your pussy was so, so sensitive and it was like billy’s cock knew exactly out how to drag out your orgasm. you glanced up at billy, and realized your vision was blurry. shattered, fucked out beyond belief — you realized there were tears, literal tears in your eyes.

“no breaks for you, sweetheart,” he spoke, leaning over and holding your hips down. “need to make sure this pussy knows who she belongs to.”

your body refused to stop shaking — but it gave into every touch, caress, pull, and push from billy. you were his to use and you fucking relished in the feeling.

through your dark, thick, damp lashes, you glanced up at him. immediately, his bright, wild eyes connected with yours. there was no stopping the animal before you — not until he got his fix. the pure and pretty girl who always surprised the group with her skill was laying beneath him like a fucked out doll and he couldn’t get enough.

“please, billy,” you whined, biting down on your lip. “use my pussy just like that…”

“my fucking pussy,” he grunted.

“all yours, baby,” you gasped, laying victim to the curling warmth inside your womb once again. it was like an itch that needed to be scratched, and only billy could fix it. the idea of a second orgasm taunted you — teased you, until it was the only thing you could think about. you were close… so close… “billy, fuck — you’re going to make me — you’re gonna —“

“that’s it, baby, yeah —“ his thrusts were getting sloppier now as a light sheen of sweat lay across his forehead. the veins in his biceps and neck were protruding and his eyes were trained on your face. “bein’ so good f’me.”

“billy —“ you cried, tears coming to your eyes again. you reached for him, and brought him down to you. he held you by the back of the head and held your jaw in place with his thumb. through gritted teeth and wet eyes, you sobbed, “driving me fucking crazy.”

“yeah, yeah?” he taunted. “good. boutta make a mess of this fuckin’ pussy.”

with one last thrust, you curled into billy’s neck and cried. actually cried. he held you close to him as he continued to thrust inside of you — pressing fat, wet kisses to the side of your face. you were shaking in his hold, trying so desperately to hold onto reality — but it was slipping. it was slipping farther and farther away with every sweet word that billy ghosted over your ear.

“say you’re mine,” he ordered, with desperation in your voice. “say you’re mine, and i’ll cum.”

“i’m yours, billy,” you sobbed. “i’m yours. only yours.”

an animalistic groan left billy’s mouth as he tugged on your hair. he pulled your neck back and taut, shoving his face into the crook of your neck and biting down on your shoulder. his body pulsed one, two, three times as his orgasm overtook him and you. you were a weeping, crying mess and took everything that billy gave you.

he rut his cock into you a few more times as you both came down for your highs. billy was so commanding in bed — but after? nothing compared to how he was after. he pulled you into his lap, cock still inside you, and began peppering kisses all over your face. sweet nothings were whispered into your ear, but all you could do was whimper quietly in response. he laughed slightly in your ear, his breath ticking your sensitive skin, and dug his nose into your hairline.

“never getting rid of me now, sweet thing.”

- - -

would love to hear your thoughts :)

-L

#billy the kid 2022 #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid smut #billy the kid #william bonney smut #william h bonney x reader #william bonney #kid antrim #tom blyth #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you

[vidavalor]

The *Original* Original Sin Theory or... why Aziraphale's "I forgive you"s really mean "forgive me" and just why he wants Crowley's absolution...

Will this break your heart in a good way and make the end of S2 hurt less? more? both? idk let's find out...

I want to talk about what the Before the Beginning scene does to the Eden scene and what all that suggests about Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship... because it might be enough to upend what we think this relationship is quite a bit, at least from Aziraphale's POV, if it goes in the direction that I think they are hinting at in S3, which I'm basing off of where they took it in S2 in these scenes.

This also contains an analysis of That Scene from 2.06 that ties into lots of other scenes and some other meta related to the show and it's a bit long-- like, the mother of all metas-- but there are pretty gifs and I brought snacks? Just letting you know it's a long post but tuck in with some tea if you're in the mood and thanks for reading. :)

Under the big cutty thing...

Before we get started, a couple of quick warnings: I curse a bit in here. It's in the show itself but just letting you know it's here a bit, too. I also mention *very* briefly suicide ideation in the characters and also very briefly (one sentence) Satan's mind-control of Crowley in S1 in a way that might be sensitive for a sexual assault survivor. There is general mention of religious trauma and abusive relationships (not Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship) all over this. If you are okay with the show, you should be more than fine reading this but just wanted to let you know up front. If you're okay with that, read on...

So, the Before the Beginning scene contains a twist, in that we learn that pre-Fall Crowley is naive to Heaven while Aziraphale is the one who is wary of it. This is especially interesting because, best we can tell, no angel has Fallen yet. There aren't *explicit* consequences for asking questions yet, as Crowley doesn't think it could get him into trouble to do so... but *Aziraphale* does. Heaven in S1 and S2 is shown to be basically a fascist state full of bullies jockeying for power where the ones on top dole out all sorts of abuses to maintain a sense of order among the rank and file. We see the emotional and even physical abuse they dole out to Aziraphale and how little they tolerate any sort of dissent, even from an archangel, based on what they ultimately do when Gabriel doesn't want to do arma-bloody-geddon anymore. Heaven is basically The Kremlin. Toe out of line and they'll toss you off a high-rise while telling everyone how sad it is that you recently had a spell of depression and heart troubles as a way of scaring everyone else into submission, right? What's surprising to us is that Aziraphale knows this *absolutely* Before the Beginning and he's terrified on Crowley's behalf, since this place functions as a kind of mafia state.

This implies something really kind of dark which is that Aziraphale knows enough to know how to toe a party line and keep quiet about any doubts he has. He knows how to survive in a way that then-innocent Crowley did not. He tries to tell Crowley that questioning things is going to get him angel-killed but Crowley has a faith in God that's different than Aziraphale's was even before the Earth was fully created. Crowley believed in Her more than Aziraphale does. He doesn't think anything will happen to him. Aziraphale knows what will and this implies knowledge of the abuse of the system and it completely changes our perspective of Aziraphale throughout the rest of the series. We often think of him as either willfully naive or just desperately optimistic regarding Heaven's goodness but, in reality, he's neither of those things. He's something else, entirely. His actions are not expressing naivete or desperate optimism or anything else.

They are expressions of guilt.

And the Eden scene tells us why he has that guilt.

The Eden scene introduces us to Crowley and Aziraphale and the series itself and it has Crowley posit the central question of the show regarding the nature of angels and demons:

Objectively, when you watch this scene, you think this is about the tempting of Eve and the flaming sword. It is... but it's also not *just* about that. Because Crowley and Aziraphale are watching Adam & Eve venture off beyond the Garden of Eden in this scene. They're still within view so the flaming sword situation happened a matter of minutes earlier. Yet, when Crowley posits that central question of which one of them actually did the good thing and which did the bad thing, Aziraphale reveals that it wouldn't be funny at all if what Crowley is saying (that Aziraphale actually did the bad thing) is true. He's distressed about it and so Crowley, somewhat dryly, reassures him that he's an angel so he couldn't have done the wrong thing. (Crowley, of course, being a literal former angel punished for doing the wrong thing lol and that being the joke but also in there is also the layer of Crowley genuinely liking Aziraphale and trying to tell him that it's all okay and meaning it.) Aziraphale is relieved and this is the key bit here-- he says oh good "because it's been bothering me."

The tone of this is that this central question of whether or not he did wrong or right by Crowley and whether or not Crowley was wrong or right in his actions *has been bothering* Aziraphale and he phrases it in a way that implies he's been losing angelic sleep (so to speak) about it for a little while now. If this was *just about Adam and Eve* then Aziraphale's reaction here makes absolutely no sense because the camera also then cuts in their conversation to in front of Crowley and Aziraphale *to show us Adam and Eve still visible in the near-distance* fighting off the lion with the flaming sword. They literally *just left* so how could Aziraphale be all in knots for awhile now over whether or not he made the wrong call? He's not. You can argue that his decision here in Eden to help Adam and Eve by giving them his flaming sword-- by standing up and doing something in the face of God to help out other beings he secretly thinks might have been treated unfairly-- *is a direct response to what he failed to do back in Before the Beginning*...

... which was to stand up for Crowley.

Meaning: Aziraphale doesn't need to see Heaven's files to find out what happened to Crowley when Crowley fell because he was there. S3 is going to be about preventing the Second Coming and so plot allusions to the crucification (which had its own Crowley & Aziraphale scene in S1) will likely abound. Aziraphale was there when Lucifer and The Gang were tossed out of Heaven. To be fair to Aziraphale, there is basically nothing he could have done to prevent this and the best possible situation is that he didn't even have the chance to. The worst possible situation is that he's literally Judas and sold Crowley out, out of fear of being tossed out of Heaven himself. I tend to think it's more that he just didn't stand up and say anything in support of Crowley to prevent himself from being seen as on the side of the eventual demons. Still, just as Crowley thinks the punishment for Adam and Eve was harsh, Aziraphale thought that asking questions and being curious wasn't enough to send Lucifer and everyone around him to Hell to be damned for all of eternity but it caused an obvious existential crisis in him that he still struggles to totally resolve.

If he disagreed with the decision to cast out the suggestion box-happy angels, he was as "bad" as they were. If he agreed with the decision, he was condemning them and that didn't seem angelic, either. How to be a good angel, which is the only thing he had ever tried to be or knew how to be? He did what he thought must be right-- to follow what the other, more powerful angels said the word of God was-- and if it was Her will, then it must be what was right, even if it was *extremely difficult* to see how this lovebug here was really an evil, demonic creature of Hell...

Not to mention that Aziraphale was in love with WhateverHeWasCalledPre-Crawly!Crowley. (We will just call him "Crowley" for this whole meta, because that is the name he chose for himself.) And maybe Angel!Crowley went after the more glamorous, daring guys. Heaven honestly seems like both a fascist state and high school at once (is there really a difference? lol). Crowley describes how he wound up falling in S1 as that he "hung out with the wrong crowd" and Aziraphale in Before the Beginning honestly seems like he's been flying around watching Crowley make stars for ages, trying to work up the nerve to or find an opportunity to introduce himself to the beautiful hot cool arty science-y guy who barely looks at him when his other option for a view are nebulas... or Benedict Cumberbatch's Lucifer/Satan, whose "stroke of demonic genius, dahling" bit in S1 and dark assault on his fave Crowley while Crowley was driving had a real "Angel!Crowley went for the bad boy who were so bad pre-Fall that they wound up fucking Satan afterwards and friend-zoned angels like Aziraphale" vibes. Alternatively, maybe he didn't totally? Before the Beginning seems to be the first time they met and maybe after that, Crowley and Aziraphale became close. It's just that Crowley canonically also wound up sitting at the cool kids' table because they were the only ones questioning things and he wound up damned for eternity for it and Aziraphale?

Aziraphale blames himself for it.

He has blamed himself for Crowley's Fall for six thousand years.

When they speak in Eden, Aziraphale is being confronted for the first time with what has come of his nebula-joyous, freshly baked blueberry muffin of an angel. He calls himself "Crawly" now-- or that's the name he's been given-- because who he was is dead. His eyes are yellow. He's now a snake. He's maybe a bit sarcastic, a bit dry, and a lot more guarded and aloof but Aziraphale sees flickers of Angel!Crowley in there. He's *kind* to Aziraphale. He's still inquisitive, in spite of it being what damned him to Hell. Aziraphale, God help him, is still wildly into him and, ugh, maybe even *more* so, in spite of everything.

And 'everything', for Aziraphale, includes Crowley being a demon being Aziraphale's fault.

They don't talk about it. Ever.

They don't talk about it because Aziraphale thinks that Crowley doesn't remember. Crowley's memory loss of a lot of his time pre-Fall is canon in S2-- something we, the audience, will need to understand the whole picture when/if we end up getting this revelation in S3 of Crowley's Fall and that Aziraphale feels he's at least partially responsible. What's even harder for Aziraphale is that because Crowley doesn't remember his time as an angel, he doesn't remember their full history together. He doesn't remember how they met and protecting Aziraphale from the first celestial shower and all the times they chatted after that and if they were in love back then, Crowley doesn't remember it. Eden then becomes, to Crowley, the first time they meet... but then look at how while Aziraphale seems to think that Crowley doesn't know him while Aziraphale knows Crowley-- the moment that he pauses so Crowley can introduce himself-- *Crowley* seems a little bemused. Why?

Because what Aziraphale has failed to consider is that the one memory that the demons are allowed to keep, most likely, is their Fall, which means that if Aziraphale was there when Crowley fell, Crowley actually *does* remember him. At minimum, he remembers Aziraphale being there and looking stricken by what was happening so even if he can't remember more than that, he knows he's safe with Aziraphale and that Aziraphale cared about him, which would explain why he risked going to talk to with him on the wall in Eden. He knows they were friends and that Aziraphale is good and he can trust him. It's also theoretically possible that if Crowley remembers his Fall and if Aziraphale was there, it's a trigger to him being able to remember all of his and Aziraphale's time before Crowley fell. Aziraphale might not know this and because these two idiots do not know how to talk-- and especially don't talk about this-- Crowley hasn't told him. In part because Crowley can't go back and he doesn't want them to dwell on Angel!Crowley when Crowley is who he is and if that's a demon, it's a demon, and the whole system can go fuck itself anyway, as far as Crowley's concerned.

Aziraphale, though, is still back on "it's my fault". He thinks he literally took goodness from the world; that he participated in the murder of his friend and the love of his life. He has never. In six. thousand. years. lol. told Crowley that he feels like this because he still thinks that Crowley doesn't remember Aziraphale betraying him and he is terrified that if he told Crowley he did-- if he told him that he was responsible, in part, for his Fall-- that Crowley would hate him and Crowley is Aziraphale's only friend in the universe and Aziraphale is madly in love with him. He couldn't bear the loss of him. He can handle their occasional spats and disagreements, knowing that Crowley always comes back, but this? If Crowley knew that his Fall was Aziraphale's fault? Aziraphale thinks Crowley wouldn't come back from that and he'd never see him again.

In reality? Crowley either already knows this and has the whole time or suspects it or if he found it out, would forgive Aziraphale for it. If he knows, he already has. His counter-argument is, like, what were you supposed to do to save me, exactly, angel? You alone versus all the hierarchy of Heaven and God Herself? I'm *glad* you didn't do something stupid and get yourself tossed into a pit of boiling sulphur. You don't deserve that.

Thing is, though, because they've never had this conversation because they DO NOT TALK lol, Aziraphale thinks he *does* deserve that. But look at what's happened since he made the decision not to save Crowley from falling...

...nothing.

Nothing has happened to Aziraphale. He didn't fall for it himself. He didn't fall for betraying the angel he loved and he wonders every. single. day. why he didn't and the only thing he can come up with is that he must have done the right thing. *It must be* that Crowley did the bad thing and Aziraphale did the good one because Crowley was damned to Hell for all of eternity and Aziraphale is still an angel of Heaven, six thousand years later. It's not for Aziraphale to question God. Her will is ineffable. It's ineffable because he cannot begin to understand how any of this can possibly be just and that just keeps happening over and over and over and over throughout the years to come in every situation he and Crowley find themselves in, from Job to The Flood to Wee Morag and Elspeth to Arma-bloody-geddon, right?

Aziraphale begins to lose count of how many times he's gone up against God at this point. Gives away his flaming sword to Adam and Eve. Saves as many as he could during The Flood-- *with* Crowley. (You know they did.) Lies to Gabriel's face in the eyes of God to save Job and Sitis' children... and learning that Falling was political, really, in the process. Nothing happened to Aziraphale for Job's kids. He suffered no consequence for lying to Heaven and God because Crowley was willing to lie for him-- to protect him from Falling, where Aziraphale couldn't protect Crowley himself ages before-- and nothing happened. Falling, suddenly, didn't seem totally God-ordained it it could be tossed aside by something as simple as having a demon just choose not to toss you to Satan. Crowley didn't take him to Hell because he didn't feel like Aziraphale belonged there. It wound up all entirely within Crowley's control, which then made Aziraphale begin to question if God was even really behind the Fall of Lucifer and the Gang or if it wasn't just the thugs in charge of Heaven who decided to toss them out... thoughts he was terrified to think and didn't dare voice aloud, at least not then.

In another era, Aziraphale and Crowley stood there together to witness the torture and murder of Jesus Christ in the name of God, in a parallel to the Fall. What happened to Jesus? He was betrayed by his closest friend, then tortured and murdered by those in the government who thought he posed a threat to social order. Heaven as Pontius Pilate. Aziraphale as a kind of Judas, in Aziraphale's mind, anyway.

Jesus as Crowley.

Time goes on and he and The Demon Crowley form friendship in their own right, regardless of what Crowley might remember from before his Fall. They form their Arrangement off of that and Aziraphale learns even more that, often, no one is really paying attention to what they do. That no one seems to notice if Crowley performs an angelic miracle or if Aziraphale performs what has become termed a 'demonic miracle'... because, really, *they're the same*, though that's not something Aziraphale can fully admit. He cannot allow himself to believe that demons *are angels* because if there's nothing different between demons and angels than Aziraphale doesn't know anything at all.

Anything at all... He doesn't know what being an angel *is* and it's what he supposedly is so it means he doesn't know who or what he is, really.

He doesn't know what God wants or if he truly believes in Her.

He doesn't know what the purpose of all of this is-- why Crowley had to suffer, why demons in general have to, why the *humans* do. Why it all has to be destroyed eventually. To what end?

Aziraphale has the same questions Crowley does and sometimes, late at night, often a little drunk, he'll dare to ask them with Crowley, and every morning that he still wakes up and sobers up and finds himself still an angel when Crowley Fell for so much less than Aziraphale has ever thought or done, he wonders just *why?*

Why is he still an angel when he, really, is no different from Crowley? Why Crowley is damned? Punished for all of eternity for curiosity and innovation and imagination, while Aziraphale is still an angel, doomed to only have until the clock runs out on Armageddon before losing him for the rest of fucking *eternity* but, until then, stuck suffering watching him suffer while remaining an angel? Is being an angel at this point, really, his punishment for failing the apparently foul fiend he adores?

Does Aziraphale ever have any answers to these questions? Good God, no lol. He's six thousand years into this and he's in the same spot as Amnesiac!ArchangelFuckingGabriel in 2.01:

...would be okay if you could just be one near particular person?

Of course Aziraphale knows what this feels like. Of course. We know he does. And that's why he hasn't been able to make a real move in six thousand years-- because it's his fault, as far as he's concerned.

Crowley's damnation is his fault. Crowley cannot really love him, or couldn't if he knew. Not because he's a demon, though Aziraphale might have thought that at one point but he definitely was cured of it by events in 1941. The more time that goes by, the more Aziraphale knows that Crowley loves him-- that he's *in* love with him-- and the worse it all gets for Aziraphale because every day that he hasn't told Crowley that he didn't prevent him from Falling is another day within the last *six thousand years* of them falling in love and the betrayal seems to get worse and worse to Aziraphale. The time to have this conversation was on the wall in Eden and it still hasn't happened. Still, over time, he starts to realize that Crowley, if ever knew, would forgive him.

Because his Crowley has the kindest of hearts. He really does, and that wasn't taken from him when he Fell and Aziraphale finds every opportunity he can to delight in seeing that and making Crowley reveal it.

It goes against everything Aziraphale is supposed to believe.

Demons are not supposed to be good-- if they were, they wouldn't have Fallen. Yet, Aziraphale knows Crowley is. He never has truly believed that Crowley isn't-- even when he could have, at least at the start. He worried, maybe, that he had helped create a monster out of the most lovely being he'd ever known but Crowley just kept proving him wrong about that, time and time again. *Crowley* doesn't believe it about himself, really, because that's his own trauma from his Fall but Aziraphale believes it about him and that's often good enough for Crowley.

But, really, this is why they still haven't gotten together in six thousand years. This is why Aziraphale seems like he can never get beyond "I'm an angel and you're a demon", no matter what Crowley does or how he proves that there are shades of gray and also, that the entire system is bullshit. It is not that Aziraphale doesn't *know* that it's bullshit-- it's that if he admits that it is, if he stops believing in Heaven (even if he doesn't stop believing in God), then he's left with nothing but the crushing weight of guilt that he has for all the pain that Crowley has been through.

If he tells himself that Crowley Fell *for a reason* and that he (Aziraphale) was *right* to not interfere, to not try to thwart God, even if it would have likely failed, just on principle, to stand up for his friend... then Aziraphale doesn't have to deal with the fact that he made what he really considers to be a colossal mistake and that it has caused the continued pain and torture and eternal damnation of the being he considers his soulmate...

...which is why everytime that pain comes to the surface in something Crowley says or does, Aziraphale *cannot handle it at all whatsoever* and reverts to You'reADemonI'mAnAngel!Mode.

Example: Crowley's religious trauma on display in their bandstand argument:

Crowley owns this, even if he's still traumatized by it. He's saying it sarcastically, making a joke on a song Aziraphale probably barely knows, if he knows at all ("Unforgettable"-- Nat King Cole). Aziraphale *aches* at Crowley saying this-- because it reminds him that it's partially his own fault. And he can't. Do. Anything. About. It.

He's an all-powerful *angel* here but he can't change this for Crowley. He can't stop his suffering some six thousand years after his Fall. He's looking at sexy goth Crowley here and he's thinking about curly-haired, beaming, ball of light! Crowley and that they are *the same person* and Aziraphale *does* know that. He knows it and he loves him passionately and desperately and he is one of the most powerful beings ever in existence and he's standing there looking at the man-shaped-being he adores talking about how he still aches from the betrayal of his fellow angels and his mother God and *there is no way for Aziraphale to fix it* when he can mend broken bones and heal the sick and let their be light! all over the place. He can do proper magic and still, he cannot take away Crowley's pain.

This is Aziraphale's Hell. He didn't Fall but he's been in Hell anyway.

So when Crowley's religious trauma and pain comes out, usually in an argument like in the bandstand scene, Aziraphale does the only thing he thinks he *can* do, right? He's an angel. Still. Somehow. He's an angel and there must be some reason for that and an angel is not a demon-- an angel is a purer being, a healer-- and so he says "I forgive you". He doesn't mean it to be patronizing, even if it is. ("I am a *great deal* holier than thou," as he told Crowley at one point and that was the point, right?) He is trying to say "I am still of Heaven and if it's absolution you need, I can give it to you."

He is trying to say: You are not unforgivable to me.

The real lyric of the song Crowley parodies in the bandstand is what Aziraphale means, whether he knows that song or not...

Unforgettable/That's what you are...

*Crowley*, though, doesn't know about Aziraphale's inner turmoil because *heavy sigh* FFS TALK, YOU IDIOTS *breathes* lol, so *he* hears:

I still think I am better than you and you are Fallen, so you're not worthy of me. I can't love you, not the way you want. I love all beings because I'm an angel and I you know I'm in love with you but I can't *allow* myself to be because it goes against the nature of an angel and I've only done eleven thousand things that should have made me Fall over the years but letting myself be in love with you is the rubicon I won't cross, apparently...

Crowley knows by the time they're having the bandstand argument enough about Aziraphale's general religious trauma (not necessarily about how it pertains to Crowley's Fall but about it in general) to know that he spits out hateful garbage when he feels cornered and how to just call it bullshit and move on. ("I don't even like you."/"You doooo.") But he understandably walks away when Aziraphale pushes him away past a point he can handle-- and Aziraphale knows how to do that. He does it *intentionally.* The "I forgive you" is sadness because it's all he has to offer Crowley but he also knows it'll piss Crowley off enough to end the argument, so he says it intentionally to get Crowley to go away. In this scene (which parallels the end of S2 quite a bit, as many have noticed), Aziraphale is trying to deal with it all on his own, right?

He knows where the antichrist is. He's just not telling Crowley yet. He's trying to deal with it to keep him safe. He's doing it because he thinks he should-- that maybe, when it's something of this level of importance, that his job should be as an angel first, above his side with Crowley. (It's also worth mentioning here that Aziraphale is straight up terrified of Falling, not even just for being damned to Hell but because then, if he's no longer in Heaven, he has exactly zero power to even *try* to protect Crowley.) At the end of S2? With The Metatron?

Aziraphale does the same thing as with the antichrist for a time in S1, really.

The beginning of S2 shows us that Aziraphale has known that Heaven is North Korea since Before the Beginning so now marry that with its last scenes and see the arc that connects them-- Aziraphale does what he does out of guilt over what happened to Crowley to *protect* Crowley. He didn't want to do any of it without Crowley and when The Metatron finally offers that carrot, Aziraphale is suspicious as all hell (pardon the pun) and here we have this moment where part of him *wants* this to all be real, right?

Times change and sometimes, your parents who traumatized the living fuck out of you and didn't approve of your boyfriend, grow the hell up a bit and try to repent and mend fences. Maybe the trust is broken but maybe it can be healed and *as an angel*, Aziraphale is a being of goodness and hope and optimism. He's pure of heart, as Crowley put it to Nina. He *wants* that to be the case... but he also knows it likely is not.

Still... they can't run. There's nowhere that Heaven won't find them. It's no life for them-- no life for Crowley, in Aziraphale's mind, no matter how many times Crowley tries to get him to run away with him. "We can go off together!" begs Crowley, over and over, and Aziraphale's only really ever found that Crowley will only slither off if he's ticked off enough and only "I forgive you" ever really does that enough to work lol. He *means* I love you endlessly but you know this is impossible, you bloody maddening, gorgeous serpent! Will you stop reminding me of what we could have when it can never happen?! but that's not exactly how Crowley's taking it.

In the end, to Aziraphale, Aziraphale is an angel and Crowley is a demon and they are doomed to spend eternity apart and Aziraphale thinks he has no one to blame, really, but himself. If he had somehow saved Crowley six thousand years ago-- or had somehow been brave enough to stand up for him and Fallen alongside him-- they could have been together forever.

But he wasn't then and now The Metatron is here and it's time for Aziraphale to go back to Heaven and he knows, as he sits there drinking coffee with the being whose posse sent Crowley in a free fall into a pit of boiling sulphur, that Crowley will never, ever, ever, EVER go back to Heaven.

But he also knows that Heaven is here to collect Aziraphale and they are making it clear that there is no escape. There's nowhere to run. Everyday, it's been getting closer for six thousand years and going faster than a roller coaster for the last handful but a love like Beez and Gabe's will surely never come his and Crowley's way now.

It was always going to end like this. Nothing lasts forever. He told Crowley that, Before the Beginning. Six thousand years. That was all the time they had before the end of Earth, the place they'd come to call home. They found a way to borrow a few more years at the end of it since S1 and he got to dance with Crowley, their fingers brushing, and that is going to have to be enough because they're out of time.

The Metatron never needed say it directly but it was evident: they wanted Aziraphale to go to Heaven and they would say or do anything to get him up there and Aziraphale may have bought it for a moment but he's definitely figured out by the end of S2 that they need him up there not to become the Supreme Archangel but because his time as an angel is now over. The threat to Crowley is unspoken but omnipresent.

The Metatron makes it sound like he doesn't care if Crowley comes back up to Heaven with Aziraphale or not and he really doesn't and why would that be? Why would he be eager to have the two most troublesome beings in all of Heaven and Hell teaming up and getting in the way of his Second Coming plans, which he absolutely *knows* they won't support? Because they won't have jobs waiting for them up there. Crowley will not be restored to full angelic status.

They're going to kill them. Aziraphale knows it. He's known what Heaven is since Before the Beginning, even if he's been in denial about it for almost as long to try to assuage his own guilt over participating in it.

And it's a lot easier a goal for Heaven to accomplish if they separate them and just Aziraphale goes up to Heaven. If Aziraphale goes alone-- if he keeps Crowley from following-- then Crowley is not a threat to them if Aziraphale is gone.

They aren't as powerful apart.

Aziraphale knows that if Crowley comes to Heaven with him that they will kill him and Aziraphale thinks okay, this is it... this is my moment of redemption.

Six thousand years since Crowley Fell and I can finally make up for not saving him by saving him now.

I can go with The Metatron and let Heaven kill me and know that they will not threaten Crowley if they do because what they are threatened by is both of us together. One of us, alone, is less of a threat and the only problem here is that if I go... Crowley will follow me.

If I just go without telling him what The Metatron said and I don't come back right away, he'll go to Heaven, worried that something happened to me, and they'll kill him when he comes looking for me. He'll find out they've Book of Life'd me and do something stupid and my sacrifice to keep him safe will all be for nothing.

So what's our tortured angel to do?

Bandstand 2.0, right?

He's got to piss Crowley off enough that Crowley won't follow him.

He's got to piss Crowley off so much that Crowley *will never come back* and the worst part is that Aziraphale knows *exactly* how to do it.

He makes his own plans and if things get drastic enough, he'll blow up that damn halo, metaphorically-speaking this time. To save Crowley, he will break Crowley.

It's darkly romantic, really. He'll sacrifice himself for Crowley but to be sure that Crowley will be safe and not follow, he'll have to break his heart a bit first-- to further their misunderstandings in a season based on "I don't think your exactly is my exactly exactly"-level miscommunications.

So Aziraphale accepts The Metatron's offer and lets The Metatron think he completely believes that the offer is legit and maybe a part of him is still hoping that it is but he knows it's really not and that this is a suicide run. This is Aziraphale's Holy Water arc...

...and speaking of Holy Water... that arc from the perspective of this being Aziraphale's mentality... Crowley, tortured by Hell for what he did while with Aziraphale in 1827, then refusing to talk about it, showing up with a cane, sullen and depressed, asking Aziraphale for the one thing that would kill him and Aziraphale's unwillingness to understand that it wasn't completely suicide ideation on Crowley's part but as a way to *protect Aziraphale* and keep him safe. Crowley wanted what could kill a demon not to kill himself but to kill one that might come after Aziraphale. All Aziraphale could see, though, was Crowley's physical and emotional pain, that he could barely keep hidden in that era, and how Aziraphale couldn't make it better. All he could see was how he failed him and led him to this suffering. All he could see in a note begging for "holy water" was Crowley wanting a suicide pill, wanting to destroy himself, unable to take any more, in so much pain that he'd leave Aziraphale forever to make it stop. Aziraphale is blinded entirely by guilt and fails to see what Crowley is really saying, which was, ironically, the last time Crowley began to try to tell Aziraphale how he felt, which was:

I've been thinking-- what if it all goes wrong? (What if I lose you? I'm terrified of losing you. I love you. I wake up from nightmares of you being destroyed by the demons who just spent a couple of decades after 1827 not that long ago torturing me. I didn't know for sure if you were still alive during any of it.) We have a lot in common, you and me. (We're a team. A... group of the two of us.) What if it all goes pear-shaped? I need you to get me the magical demon-killing stuff so I have a weapon against *my own fellow fallen angels* that I can use in case they come after us. I would kill another demon and send every legion of Hell after me to protect you.

Aziraphale: I like pears.

(My God, they are so stupid. Please. I can't take any more lol.)

So, yeah... it's Aziraphale's turn for the holy water suicide run here only with an actual suicide run...

It takes the books in The Blitz for Aziraphale to really understand what Crowley was asking for and what he meant by asking for holy water and by 1967, he gives Crowley the holy water, in the one moment when *they actually talk*, as much as they can, about how much they love one another, that exists prior to the end of its parallel-- the end of S2.

So, yeah, Aziraphale "goes to tell his friend the good news" with a look on his face like he's marching to his death *because he is* and he knows it. His last moments with Crowley, in some of his last moments in existence, he already knows will be spent upsetting the man-shaped being he loves. He's got it all planned out. Not exactly the picnic of his dreams but it'll redeem him and save Crowley and that's all that matters to Aziraphale in this moment.

He will sound naive to the threat of Heaven and because Crowley doesn't remember pre-Fall, he won't remember how Aziraphale warned him against taking on the brass in Heaven so Crowley won't be suspicious, he'll be *frustrated*, like he was in the bandstand. He'll get angry. Aziraphale's goal is to get him to storm out-- but it has to be a really, really, bad relationship-ending storming out.

He can't come back after he drives The Bentley around the block like he did back in 2.01 and say "okay, fine, I'll help you" and Aziraphale knows that if he plays this right, he can make it so Crowley won't because helping Gabriel was one thing but asking Crowley to become an angel with him and pretending like they can go fix the broken system of Heaven is going to be Crowley's bridge too far. It's *the only thing* that Aziraphale believes is Crowley's bridge too far where Aziraphale is concerned and isn't that heartbreaking as hell? That Crowley loves him this much? And they never got to be together the way they wanted? That they were just beginning to get close to trying to figure that out?

That, hours ago, Aziraphale was asking him to dance and trying to ignore the signs of trouble around the corner, desperately wanting more time with him? That they are semi-immortal beings that always somehow seem to be out of time?

Truer words have never been spoken, Crowley. Little did you know, poor demon...

So Aziraphale goes into the bookshop and Crowley looks all worked up and wants to say something and some part of Aziraphale begins to hear warning alarms going off in his head because Crowley *never* looks like this-- is never this flustered, never this uncomfortable, never this nervous, never in a rush to say something-- and Aziraphale thinks no, can't be, we don't talk about this... even if, ironically, all of S2 shows that Aziraphale has been trying *for just that*. It was just a few hours ago that he was trying to Jane Austen a ball for them to use as a pretense to discuss their feelings because, in the height of ironies here, right?

Aziraphale was ready.

They'd had some time without Heaven and Hell breathing so much down their necks, even if the threat still loomed, and spent every day together and it was perfect and it was lovely and he knew Crowley would forgive him and Aziraphale was almost there, right, he was *almost* ready to tell him. He was almost ready to tell him he loved him and that it was him, all those millennia ago, who could have done something and didn't and he's so, so, so sorry and can Crowley ever forgive him? Is there any way that Crowley could ever forgive him after what he didn't say and didn't do when he should have? For all the times since that he's said things in anger when, really, he was madly in love and just full of his own issues to sort out? (Damn, Aziraphale, we're beginning to see your affinity for Austen heroes here...)

But he's out of time so there will be none of that now. Now is his karmic payback. Six thousand beautiful years with the being he loves and feels he doesn't deserve have led to Aziraphale's redemption being that he can sacrifice himself to save him. He can leave the world they love with Crowley and Crowley's *goodness* in it, as it should be. So when Crowley says he needs to say something, Aziraphale cannot-- CANNOT-- let him speak because he cannot bear it.

He suddenly fears that of course-- OF COURSE-- the one moment in all of these trillions of moments they've lived through where Crowley is about to directly say he loves him for the first time is the also the same fucking moment when Aziraphale has to destroy their relationship to save Crowley's life and Aziraphale will be dead after this and he cannot bear hearing what his life could have been. He can't hear Crowley say this right now or else he worries he might lose his nerve. He *wants* to hear it but if Crowley speaks first, Aziraphale might cave, he might be weak again like he was when Crowley Fell, he might fail him again, and he can't. Not after all this time. Not when he loves Crowley so much.

"What's that lovely human expression?! 'Hold that thought!'" he blurts out, in a callback to, of course, the moment Crowley saved him in 1941-- to that night where Aziraphale really realized for the first time that Crowley wasn't just capable of good or capable of being friendly towards him but that Crowley *loved* him and that he loved the Demon Crowley, whether or not he should. ("But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past," sings Frances McDormand as the Voice of God, from her apparent favorite film lol, "I must have done something good.")

Ah, yes. Played for suckers. Here is where it's important to note that in 1941, Aziraphale had no idea that Rose was really Greta and that he, in fact, was the one being played for a sucker. By the end of S2, though, it could be argued that he very much knows that The Metatron is Fraulein Greta Klauschmidt-- someone who presented herself as Captain Rose Montgomery, an agent of anti-fascist good, who approached Aziraphale in his bookshop and told him that he could be an agent of change, too. He could help save the world and stop the global rising tide of fascism represented by the Third Reich. He could even do so using his books. They plotted a sting together, in which he'd bring his books to a church and seem to give them to Nazis to give to the Fuhrer, only for agents to surround them and arrest the Nazis. Aziraphale, desperate to *do* good and to *be* good, falls for this-- he fails to see that Rose is really Greta, a Nazi agent who fools him into working for the enemy and getting him to help destroy the world in the process. Pretty obvious to see here that Greta is The Metatron in S2... but it's likely that Aziraphale knows it and is playing along because it's his turn to save Crowley, unlike what happened in 1941, when Crowley saves him and his books.

Crowley, in the bookshop back at the end of S2 in our present time, stops speaking at the "hold that thought", looking like he's about to be ill, and has to also be thinking of 1941 and the church now that Aziraphale has referenced it. Maybe, in some way, it's an unconscious effort on Aziraphale's part to convey to Crowley that this is a charade-- that he doesn't mean this, that it's an act-- but he really doesn't want Crowley to figure that out. It would defeat his goal. But he also doesn't want to hurt him because he loves him but this is the only way that Aziraphale can see to save him. So he starts gushing about his coffee with The Metatron, right? We all remember this pain lol.

Maybe I've misjudged him. (Aziraphale, we suspect you know that he tossed Crowley into hellfire and stole Gabriel's memories so honestly, the worst part of all of this is that you're so traumatized that Crowley is *buying* what you're saying here...) And guess what?! He wants me to be the new Supreme Archangel! And he said you can come! And you can be an angel again! It will be so fun! We can have a slumber party, Crowley, after days of doing good, and braid each other's hair!

Crowley is like jfc fml are you even serious right now? Which, of course, is what Aziraphale *was going for.* It's the "I don't even like you" and the "we're hereditary enemies" and the "I'm an angel, you're a demon" way of trying to intentionally push Crowley away but the new version of it because none of that flies with S2 Crowley-- most of it barely flew with him in S1-- because Crowley *knows.*

He knows that Aziraphale loves him. And he knows that Aziraphale knows him, which is to say he knows how to hurt him, and that's what this is but also Crowley just sees it as how much Heaven has hurt them both. How much they've hurt Aziraphale. Because just as Aziraphale looks at Crowley in the throes of his religious trauma-- "Unforgivable. It's what I am", etc.-- and wants to help and save and protect him, Crowley feels the same way in return when Aziraphale is like this. Frustrated, sure, but in just as much pain at how much pain Aziraphale is in and feels powerless to stop it but will do whatever he can to try to, yeah?

For Aziraphale, this is all going fairly well (it's miserable but in terms of goal, it's working) through "tell me you said no" but the problem is that Crowley is still pleading. He's still trying to work through it because they're an *us* now and also ironically of course this is when Crowley's been trying to do better with storming out lol so he's trying to couple-solve this. He's not just *leaving* like how Aziraphale had hoped. He had been trying to sell to Crowley that he could pick Heaven over Crowley and Crowley is just kinda... not believing it so much at first and, instead, is trying to approach it like a problem for the two of them to solve together, instead of as a decision that Aziraphale has made for his life that he's stating that Crowley can take or leave.

Which calls back to this scene in 2.01 at the start of this arc, when Crowley calls their life *his* life and Aziraphale counters with that he thought *they* had carved out a life for themselves *together* and Crowley answers: "so did I!" Because they haven't had a discussion about what they are, exactly, at that point, Crowley still cautiously calls *their* life *his* life, retaining a sense of autonomy, as if he's only making decisions for himself when, in reality, they are a couple who are trying to make a life together and have been doing so consciously since S1. Crowley calls that life "precious" and "peaceful" to Aziraphale-- beautiful, lovely things that they both treasure and want and find with one another-- but also "fragile". The threats to them still loom large in the background and they are still so afraid to go much further in their relationship because, in part, of those threats and how terrified they are of losing one another... which just makes the end of S2 even more brutal, really.

(*mantras* cottage in the south downs cottage in the south downs...)

So back in That Scene later in S2, Aziraphale is then just kind of stuck trying to figure out how to get Crowley to be so angry with him that he storms out and never comes back in the face of Crowley trying to very much not do that and then Crowley starts saying that he needs to say what he was going to say or he never will and Aziraphale *knows*, ok? He knows what Crowley needs to say. He just literally cannot believe this is going to happen right now. He honestly can't believe it's happening at all but right now?!

He knows before Crowley begins speaking. He probably knew when he told him to "hold that thought" a few moments before but he *really* knows now. Crowley has no idea that Aziraphale has planned for this to be the last time they ever see one another and to go sacrifice himself to Heaven for whatever they want to do with him to keep them away from Crowley. Crowley looks like he's about to pass out from nerves and can barely speak and just...

...six. thousand. years...

...I know we have all looked at the heartbreak of this scene from Crowley's POV here every which way to Sunday, okay, but just imagine you are Aziraphale, who has loved this being since before the literal beginning of time, and you blame yourself for his pain and suffering, and he's standing here, braver than you've ever been with him, looking into your eyes and telling you that he knows that you love him and that he loves you and he knows you both have known this for basically the entirety of your existence together and he can't pretend anymore. He doesn't want to pretend anymore. He knows things have changed over the last few years between you and he wants more of that. He wants to be with you.

The two of you are not even human, just human-adjacent beings who have gone native from the stars and clouds here, who live and love like humans, who know that maybe the angels and demons have it backwards and God's great creatures are the humans-- that it should be the good in them that you should be trying to emulate-- and Crowley had never been more beautifully, impossibly human than while he's standing there looking ready to pass out while asking you if, after six millennia, it might be alright for him to not hide how much he loves you.

How many times has Aziraphale imagined this by this point? A million? How many different ways? There's at least half of them when he imagines that he's the one who gets up the courage first but there are so. many. Crowley. fantasies. Ones in every time period. But always *a fantasy*, at least up until maybe very recently. Why?

Not even just Heaven and Hell and the threat of being caught but the fact that Aziraphale believes that Crowley doesn't know Aziraphale didn't save him during The Fall and how could he ever really love him if he knew? How could Aziraphale ever go to him like this and give Crowley everything he knows Crowley has desired for so long without telling him the truth about Aziraphale's role in Crowley's Fall-- but then, Aziraphale assumes, he'd lose Crowley forever? So this has always been a pipe dream for Aziraphale-- fantasies from a world where they ever stood a chance of being together-- never really something that could be reality and here it is, starting, happening *now*...

...after six. thousand. years. of living with this guilt and in the last moments in which he will ever see Crowley before he heads to his likely death, with no time to tell him the truth and beg for his forgiveness, no time to ever know what their lives might be like if they could be together.

As Crowley, unbeknownst to Aziraphale, mused dramatically, if not inaccurately, earlier in the season... it's always too late.

It's punishment, in Aziraphale's mind. That's what Crowley's proposal, his confession, is now. It's his Fall, whether he falls or not when he leaves the bookshop for Heaven. It's karmic retribution-- it's God, finally saying something, and what she's saying is:

Look at what you've done, Aziraphale...

Look at how he loves you.

He was never unforgivable.

You are.

Aziraphale might be erased from existence once he gets to Heaven and he knows that's a possibility but he basically is dying here. Crowley is killing him. Crowley has pointed that silver bullet gun straight at his head and fired but he's missed and the bullet isn't in Aziraphale's teeth, it's gone through him.

Crowley, here, tears in his eyes, asking for whatever time they have. An eternity? Impossible, unlikely. Angel and demon. One day, the war will begin again-- another war to end all wars, like all the ones they've fell more and more in love during throughout history-- but it might be the one where Heaven or Hell wins and they're doomed to spend eternity apart. Crowley has said before he thinks the real war is humanity versus Heaven and Hell and that sounds like he thinks there's a chance they could survive it but who knows? They don't know. They're immortal beings who live like humans and that's, of late, included a sense of mortality. They don't know how much time they have left and Crowley is asking for all of it. He is asking for whatever time they have left to be spent together, openly loving one another, and what he doesn't know is what Aziraphale knows:

That they're already out of time.

Crowley is proposing marriage unaware that Aziraphale is dying. It's always too late, Crowley had stated earlier but had hope that maybe it wasn't but it is. And Aziraphale?

Gah. Aziraphale...

He's never loved him more. He's never wanted him more. He wants to tell him that he wants that, too, that they can have it, that Crowley can have anything he wants, but it's not true. It's not true because they could run out the back door of the bookshop now and hop in the Bentley and end-of-Grease it up to Alpha Centauri and Heaven will still find them. Heaven and Hell will still be after them. Running away solves nothing and Crowley always, ultimately, anyway, comes back and this time-- this time-- for Crowley's own good, to save his life, Aziraphale needs him to leave the bookshop and never come back.

And the moment that Crowley confesses that he loves him and that he knows Aziraphale loves him in return and that they've both known this, forever, and asks him if he can be allowed to just love him, Aziraphale loves him so much in return that he'll break his heart to save him from dying.

Dying is... not on, as High!Crowley put it in 1827 lol, but suicide-ish attempts are, if it's Aziraphale's turn this time.

So he twists the knife. He hides the goats as pigeons and he looks at Crowley and does a bit of this:

...only with the exact opposite intent. In the Job minisode, Crowley cannot speak aloud his true intentions. (Something he can finally do in the S2 finale, when he declares his love for Aziraphale.) He cannot tell Aziraphale outrightly that he had zero desire whatosever to kill Job's kids and animals and doesn't plan on actually doing it and, in fact, is actively engaged in a bit of bait-and-switch to make it look like he's doing what he's supposed to be doing as mandated by Heaven! this time as well as Hell (a nice little extra bit of paralleling to the end of S2 and Aziraphale, there.) He wants Aziraphale to believe him enough to allow him to pull it off because saving the kids and the pets (and protecting Aziraphale from any harm that might come to him if he gets in the way of what Crowley's been asked to do) matters more to Crowley than Aziraphale believing him...

...and believing him here means believing *in* him. Believing that they are on the same side and it's their own side and they're in it together. Crowley has to lie to him here *and it works for a moment*. It's really important to note that *it works*. Aziraphale believes that Crowley can do this and that he wants to-- that he not only can but he *longs* (lol) to "kill the blameless kids of Job"-- but it's all in Crowley's wording. He isn't *actually* lying. He *does* long to kill the blameless kids of Job like how he killed the blameless goats of Job-- because he "killed the blameless goats of Job" by turning them into pigeons. So he's really saying to Aziraphale that he longs to *fake the deaths* of the blameless kids of Job and plans to in the same way that he did the goats. In that moment, though? It didn't matter if Crowley was lying or telling the truth. There was only one goal--

--to get Aziraphale to walk away.

To get Aziraphale to leave, for his own safety, and let Crowley handle this. Better that he misunderstand Crowley and be disappointed in him and think him a lost cause than to get himself into trouble. Crowley out here loving Aziraphale that much in the days of Bildad the Shuite. (This poor mfer. Six. Thousand. Years lol.)

So what caused Crowley's plan to save Aziraphale in the Job era to not work?

One of the pigeons bleated, right?

Aziraphale heard it and realized that Crowley hadn't been lying so much as he had been trying to protect Aziraphale from his plan of subterfuge against the Almighty and Satan. The difference is that there are no bleating pigeons in the S2 finale... there's just *a whole certain famous other kind of damn bird instead* and its *absence* from the scene is the big emotional gut punch moment. And we all know it but I'll gif it anyway since this is already a depressing meta (cottage in the south downs cottage in the south downs...)...

...and that *is* the point. Because unlike back in the Bildad the Shuite days, there is no bleating pigeon (at least, not yet) to make Crowley realize that all is not what it seems and that Aziraphale is trying to lie to him and get him to leave to protect him from Heaven.

As Aziraphale is like mortally wounded here by Crowley's confession of love and is so not going to recover from this, he's now got to not only get Crowley to leave feeling like Aziraphale rejected being their own team for Heaven, he has to now do it with all of it out in the open-- with Crowley having openly confessed love for him, with him having asked for them to be together. He's not just going to have to frustrate Crowley more than he ever has before and get him to leave more angry than he was before, he has to, instead, smash into little tiny bits the very beautiful, very passionate, beating heart of the being he has loved since he met him *making the stars* in the bloody sky here...

The only way to get Crowley to go now is to make Crowley think he's rejecting the idea of loving him. Aziraphale honestly can't even sell the idea that he *doesn't* love Crowley because Crowley won't believe it-- he knows Aziraphale does and he's said as much in his whole marriage proposal here. So it has to be that Crowley thinks Aziraphale chose Heaven over loving him. Chose being an angel. That he really meant all of those 'hereditary enemies' and 'you're a demon' moments and to sell that, he sells it.

(You're a dark horse, Mr. Fell, Nina said of him in 2.01... the same turn of phrase Crowley uses when surprised by the secret skills and narrative power of Jane Austen later on in the pub.)

Aziraphale does love himself a bit of theatre. A bit of a disappearing act. The West End, The West End...

...our Nefertiti-fooling fellow...

He sells it with:

Well, of course you said no, *you're* the bad guys...

Come with me... I'll run, it you can be *my second-in-command*...

We can be together. *Angels*. Doing *good*...

...oh, Crowley... nothing lasts forever...

For his final act, The Marvelous Mr. Fell will saw his ineffable husband's heart in half by spewing a litany of everything he can think of to say that will piss him off enough to make him leave the bookshop broken-hearted enough to never come back.

Only someone put a miracle blocker on here because, try as he might and good heavens (pardon the pun), Aziraphale is *trying* here...

...this turnip is not turning into a damn inkwell.

Crowley finally starts to go-- it's looking promising. Finally, Aziraphale thinks, this misery might end. Six thousand years of wanting to speak of all of this between them and hoping for some happiness when-- if-- it could maybe someday arrive, if it even could-- and it's the worst moment of Aziraphale's existence and he knows it is the same for Crowley.

Crowley stops and the "do you hear that?" And no, Aziraphale doesn't hear anything, he just has never been more upset and Crowley needs to just go because Aziraphale can't handle another moment of this, how could it possibly get worse?

Nightingales. Of course.

A call back to S1's "no more world-class composers/little restaurants where they know you/gravalax and dill sauce/old bookshops" but this time, it's "no nightingales". There's Armageddon coming that neither of them know about in this moment. It's still a 'someday, they'll try again' concept to them in this scene, not an extremely immediate threat, as Aziraphale doesn't learn about The Second Coming until after this. So the end of the world that Crowley references here is the end of *their* world and that means no nightingales. No romance. No *them*, together. Worth remembering that Crowley thought, up until maybe what? Five minutes ago? That they were headed to breakfast at the Ritz together. They should have been sitting there together *in this moment*, is what he's saying. Miracling the pianist to play "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" and gazing at one another over teapots and mimosas and croissants.

That's gone, since you chose Heaven instead, is what Crowley states and Aziraphale knows it because, God help him (no, literally, GOD HELP HIM! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO OFF TO THIS SEASON, FRANCES?!), it's what he's *trying* to make happen.

You idiot, says the once-Bildad the Shuite, who thought he was taking his beloved to the ox rib special this morning and not getting dumped for an old floating head and the cinematic world's most contentious to-go cup of coffee, we could have been... us.

Not really a part of the theory here, just the observation that Crowley's confession/proposal begins with him unable to say "a couple", in case this all goes pear-shaped and he needs to have never said something that romantic, so he says instead "a team", "a group-- of the two of us". He says it without saying it. But, by the end? He just says "us." He *present*-tenses it. He's like forget everything else, angel, we could have just kept on being us because we both know what we are. We don't need to find the right turn of phrase or even the most specific human word for it. We are just *us* and we could have kept on with that but you chose the mentality of your abusive family and asked me to be what I'm not and I still love you because I *know* you but I can't be with you like that and *you* know that.

And he kisses him. Because Franny McD says you ain't suffered enough yet, Aziraphale lol. Should I just gif it while we're miserable? If you've read this far, a month has passed and hopefully, you've taken breaks and I do apologize but I'm gonna gif it because yeah. Here we go, folks...

God, make it stop, pleads Aziraphale to literal God and here comes Crowley with the S1 wall slam parallel, all dammit, angel, I know you've wanted us to snog for centuries and this is our last chance.

I know people have opinions about this kiss and I know we're all posting them here, obviously myself included, but while I've seen a lot of like... 'Crowley knows it's the only time they ever will be able to because Aziraphale is leaving him for Heaven' and 'Crowley wants to remind Aziraphale what he's giving up and could have had' and 'Crowley tries the kiss to see if it'll change Aziraphale's mind' takes-- and I agree with all of those things and think they're all right-- I've not seen a lot of 'Crowley kisses Aziraphale *for Aziraphale*' and I think that's a big part of it, too.

Crowley really isn't stupid. Not when it comes to Aziraphale wanting him. It would be honestly hard to spend a zillion lifetimes on Earth and not get it after like...

And Crowley understands Aziraphale's particular brand of religious trauma more than most, since he has a variant version of it himself. He understands that where his whole thing is that he's very much *not* an angel anymore, that Aziraphale's identity is wrapped up in being one and the conflicts he has with Heaven and while Crowley is not yet quite hearing what Nina said-- that she just got out of an abusive relationship and that she's not yet ready to be with Maggie and needs time-- and marrying that to Aziraphale and Heaven (especially because Aziraphale is showing exactly zero signs of trying to get out of his relationship with Heaven lol), Crowley wants Aziraphale to have had what he (Aziraphale) wanted, even if it was for only a moment. He can't go with him. This is the *one* scenario where Crowley cannot follow where Aziraphale goes, where he can't come to him and rescue him, because Aziraphale has said he doesn't want him to. Aziraphale wants to go and do this and the only way he'll take Crowley is if Crowley wants to become an angel again, which Crowley will not do.

And damned if there isn't a part of Aziraphale that thinks that if The Metatron can really be trusted, wouldn't that be something? That if he gets up there to Heaven and he really is made Supreme Archangel and if Crowley changes his mind, if he comes back, like he always does... if he storms out and leaves but then misses him too much and takes the elevator up... then maybe Aziraphale could make him an angel again and while Crowley hears in Aziraphale offering that you aren't good enough as a demon-- you're not good, period and even if he doesn't totally believe that Aziraphale really thinks that but knows Aziraphale has enough religious conflict that it's a problem for their relationship, what Aziraphale *really* means is... I could fix it.

I could go back and un-Fall you. I could take away your pain. I could stop your suffering. I'd have the *power* to do it when I don't right now and it kills me, every day. I could right the wrong I did, the sin I committed-- the real Original Sin-- six thousand years ago when I betrayed you, when Heaven betrayed you.

I could do right by you, the way She never did.

I am going to Heaven to either have the power to do that or to be obliterated into non-existence and I don't totally know which, though surviving is not looking promising, but all I know is that it's too dangerous for you to follow me right now until I do know so I'd rather hurt you than see you dead.

You want to be with me and I am afraid it will lead to your destruction so I need to say anything to put the breaks on your attempt and make you back off. To a lesser extent, I've done it before. Can do again.

Only this time, no hope of the possible, future picnic, I'm afraid...

It really is the worst possible Aziraphale nightmare here like... everything he's ever wanted. Six millennia of wanting to pull Crowley close and he has to reject him or Crowley could die. Fanfic season here said Coffee Shop AU and also a reverse-Fuck or Die for the ages. People complaining that it's awkward? YES. It's supposed to be. Crowley has no idea that Aziraphale is facing a round of sudden death here and was just hoping for his one fabulous kiss and vavoom. Even if it didn't change anything-- he wanted *Aziraphale* to feel that. To know how much he's wanted this for so long and to have it, even if they can't again. The intent is terribly romantic, as is Aziraphale flailing in the middle of it and giving in because he is made of strong, halo-exploding stuff here but he's wanted this forever. He goes up on his toes, he leans in, his hands flail around and he touches Crowley's back. He *shouldn't* do any of this if he's trying to meet his goal of getting Crowley to leave because it gave Crowley hope. It might have even been what motivated Crowley to stay outside and not go right away, or at least a part of it. But Aziraphale had to because he loves him and he couldn't help it.

Then, *sob*, The Michael Sheen eviscerating all of us here...

For anyone who might still be saying that is an "I didn't want his kiss" face... hard, HARD, VERY HARD disagree. That is "I didn't want *this* kiss, like this, right now." That is a man-shaped being who was just kissed by the love of his life for what may have been the first time but, at minimum, is for what he believes will be the *last* time. (I'm still out here holding out some hope for Blitz, Part 3-- a nice first kiss after they kill some Zombie Nazis with Chekhov's derringer in the bookshop but I digress...somehow, even if this entire long meta is one long digression, I digress lol...)

It's the face of a man gutted by the fact that this, in his wildest dreams, was not supposed to happen like this and he's been alive for damn ever at this point so he's had *all* the wildest dreams. And a lot of them, let's be real, have centered around Crowley doing just this. Exactly this. Crowley ain't wrong with the 'grabbing him by the collar and kissing him senseless in the middle of the bookshop' thing. He's wanted to do it for centuries. And the middle of the bookshop bit? That's important, too. This is their home. It's *their* home, even if Crowley is technically homeless. It's safe for him in here and Aziraphale has made it so. It's where they've spent thousands of hours together, happy and safe in each other's company, and here they are, bouille-bouile-bouile-baby-ing finally and it's a complete and utter, unmitigated trash truck dumpster fire.

Honestly, this was a better kiss than in S2 lol. S1 laying down though how long they've been dreaming about it (and having Crowley start listing animals that are in Aziraphale's nonsense magic spell, like he flashes back to 1941 when thinking about the end of the world and kissing Aziraphale in the bookshop... so you can see why I'm moderately hopeful that maybe they did kiss then, once, before then trying to never again until Crowley kisses Aziraphale in 2.06.)

I'm going to bring this back around now to the comparison I made above with Crowley and Jesus and talk about how 2.06's end scenes are also like the last temptation of Christ. Good Omens makes it pretty clear that Aziraphale is the tempter, really, of the two of them, in their relationship. Crowley can't say no to him and Aziraphale has learned it and loves to puppy eyes Crowley into anything he wants.

Crowley knows it and is fine with it. He's smitten and happy to be wrapped around Aziraphale's finger. Crowley has tempted Aziraphale and we see that in S2 with the ox rib. He is, himself, just by existing, tempting to Aziraphale. But in terms of temptation carrying with it a bit of manipulation and *that* kind of tempting being what's demonic in nature? Then Aziraphale is, and always has been, the demon of the two of them. This is true into the end of S2, as while there is almost nothing that Crowley would deny Aziraphale, there is really only one thing and that's to change who he is for him. To become an angel again, to work for Heaven again, after what they've done to him and Aziraphale. So the end of S2 is then Aziraphale's temptation-- it's a test, of sorts, for Crowley, even if Aziraphale doesn't intend for it to be. Crowley resists the temptation. Even for Aziraphale, he won't follow the path of darkness for himself and become something he's not. Crowley-Jesus. (Aziraphale-Satan S3 incoming lol.)

And if you've been reading all of this right then you know what happens next and what it means from the POV of this guilt-ridden Aziraphale...

I honestly don't think Aziraphale is really that angry *with Crowley* at this point-- I think he's just angry. He's reached his limit and then some. He has a lot of simmering, under the surface rage on a good day that only bubbles over when he's stressed by a situation he can't control and here is the ultimate one, really. He's a little mad at Crowley because they've waited countless years for that and in an argument, while ironically probably kind of perfect for them, is not really how *either* of them wanted it to be... but, mostly, Aziraphale is just angry that he can't have any of those moments at all. That they're out of time. That they had all this time and they never really could be safely together and that he's been haunted for six thousand years of the image of his fluffy cloud of redheaded sunshine, bloodied and stricken, and then tossed to Hell while Aziraphale was powerless to stop it. He's never seen those eyes since and he loves the snake ones. He loves all of Crowley with all he has but he's never been allowed to *have* him and never felt safe enough to try and now it's all over. And he still has to make Crowley fucking leave this bookshop for his plan of self-sacrifice to fucking work here so...

...I forgive you. It's the worst thing he can think of. The thing Crowley always hates. The thing that he knows makes Crowley feel lesser and demonic, even if Aziraphale has always, always meant it as an I love you. He even spits it out to Crowley with an almost self-deprecating, referential tone to it-- like "here we go again-- you say you love me and I say 'I forgive you' because I can't say anything else, can I?" The anger is laced underneath it and all the pain but he's intentionally referencing how this this the thing he says whenever Crowley says they can be their own side. He's trying to claim that nothing has changed in all of these years, when they both know that everything has changed since S1 and the bandstand. That's what makes it hurt both of them even more. Aziraphale chooses to say "I forgive you" because he knows that Crowley has never heard it for how Aziraphale means it and Aziraphale is a little bitter about it and lets it show in the moment, since Aziraphale's I forgive you always really means...

I can't stand to see you in pain and if there's any power in me as an angel to stop it, then I will do that so I forgive you and may that make it easier, may that make it all okay, even though I know it won't.

And just before saying I forgive you, Aziraphale's mouth works and he almost-- almost-- says I love you instead... what Crowley would really give anything to hear.

You can see the 'l' forming there, the beginning of "love", what he *really* wanted to say... what Crowley himself didn't even actually explicitly say. Crowley said it without saying it. He called them a couple without saying that word, asked for eternity without fully asking for it, said he loved him by acknowledging that they had both been pretending, but Crowley was terrified and so he said the things in a way that made it obvious what he was saying and asking for but, so unused to not speaking in code are they, that Crowley didn't say he loved Aziraphale, not directly. He did say it. He just didn't say it in those words.

And for a second, Aziraphale almost does.

He can't stand that he's breaking Crowley's heart. He can't stand that Crowley has kissed him and Aziraphale only briefly kissed him back, only barely touched him, when he really wanted to go at him like an ox rib and never let him go, and he starts to say the truth because no part of him really *wants* to be lying like this to Crowley. But he stops. And not even just because he needs Crowley to leave the shop to save his life but because, in the last four minutes, Crowley has confessed love and proposed and they've kissed and Aziraphale, pretty sure he actually died somewhere in the middle there and he's now stuck somewhere in one of Dante's worst circles of Hell lol, just cannot *also* have this be the moment where he says "I love you" to Crowley.

It's not even false hope that maybe they'll somehow have more time. With Heaven breathing down his neck in the form of The Metatron, Aziraphale has no real hope of that. He just always dreamed of telling him and not like this. He doesn't want Crowley to hear it like this, either, not as a part of a rejection. The anger, instead, surfaces, because why can't he and Crowley just *have* this?! How the hell did Gabriel and Beezlebub get to fuck off to Alpha Centauri after dating for ten minutes when he and Crowley have spent bloody eons in queer pining hell over here? What did they ever do that was so wrong to deserve this? Why was Crowley asking questions so terrible? Why have they had to spend thousands of years pretending not to love each other as if love-- the epitome of the angelic-- was unholy? Why, Aziraphale is wondering, now that they are out of time, did he ever spend so many years terrified when, in the end, it all ended tragically anyway?

How many of those years could Aziraphale have spent loving Crowley the way they ought to have been able to have and denied themselves of for so long?

And then Crowley finally does it. Tells him "don't bother" about the forgiveness-- about the love, as Aziraphale has always meant it-- and he leaves. It worked. The anger and pain and saying "I forgive you" after that kiss... it worked. And Crowley leaves and Aziraphale, alone, is a complete mess of broken and furious and broken some more.

Crowley, as we know, doesn't get to see this moment. Muriel does! Great for fic! Hilarious by show standards that the new angel who is literally being ordered to take over Aziraphale's home against his will is who witnesses the aftermath of the intimate moment our angel has been craving, oh, just since before the dawn of humanity over here.

He touches his lips, his hand trembles... have you all noticed that Aziraphale is literally fucking *tasting and eating* what of himself Crowley left in his mouth here? He's pulling every bit of Crowley to his tongue from his teeth and *swallowing*, like he knows it's all of him he'll ever again be able to consume, like he's committing how he tastes to memory for the last like, who knows, ten? fifteen? twenty minutes? of his own existence that he knows he probably has left...

Jesus fucking Christ, Michael Sheen...

This is all without yet mentioning the single most under-analyzed line in S2 that calls into question a ton of stuff, which is this beauty from Shax, right off the top of 2.01:

"Beezlebub's put some of the lesser demons on half-rations."

What does this have to do with Aziraphale consuming Crowley's kiss like it's the most scrumptious thing he's ever tasted (because it is) and being furious that it'll be their last?

Because that Shax line casually confirms that demons eat. Do they eat human food or some sort of demon food or both? Who knows, really, but they're *supposed* to eat. Ok, but is it just a demon thing? No, because it ties to Crowley's comments in S1 about how he complained that the food wasn't really that good lately when hanging out with Lucifer and The Gang, which then implies that, at least back then, *angels* ate, too. Eating was a normal thing. Over time, though, we know that the higher angels have come to see eating as human and pedestrian and not something befitting of an angel. Some demons eat-- even Crowley eats, if less than and differently than Aziraphale-- but the angels think it's beneath them and if we have confirmation via Shax in S2 that they are supposed to be eating and basically only don't die because they're immortal beings and not human, even if they have human corporations, then the show is saying that all of these angels are fucking starving themselves.

They're doing what they're told and denying their own nature and their own needs in the process.

S2 also shows that with the ox rib, right?

Aziraphale went *at* that thing. He'd never eaten at all in a couple thousand years after being told it was un-angelic and so when he tasted food for the first time, he went so overboard that he's been Mr. Prim and Proper with his napkins and table etiquette ever since out of embarrassment over Crowley watching him food orgasm once-- and that's the metaphor there, as we've all figured out. Our show that has a sex worker named Mrs. Sandwich is all about its ongoing food-as-sex metaphor. S2 even opens with the hilarious turnabout from S1 as a "thank you for my pornography", "why do you consume *that*?" Gabriel shows up at the bookshop-- naked-- and has a food orgasm trying hot chocolate for the first time.

Gabe, babe, Aziraphale does not need the play-by-play here....

Mah point is... mah point is that Tumblr is maxing me at 30 images per post and so you'll just have to picture Crowley slurring "dolphins" while I get to my actual point here...

Mah point is while this is a whole separate analysis almost and one that many of you have already done in different ways re: food & sex on the show, my point here is that starving yourself of food in Good Omens is analogous to being touch-starved or love-deprived and before someone yells at me about how angelic beings don't necessarily need sex or are by nature not into sex unless they make an Effort, I agree with you and Neil Gaiman. I'm just also saying the show is suggesting that they all have human corporations and that many of those human corporations are not sex-averse so for those of them that are not, they're literally out here touch-starved and/or sex-starved here in different ways. But, you say, maybe Crowley is hungry (goodness knows, Crowley *is hungry* lol) but Aziraphale eats all the time!

Yeah. Aziraphale eats *food*, all the time. But he isn't touched all the time. He doesn't have sex all the time. He isn't kissed all the time. The 2.06 scene shows him *physically* making that metaphor of food and sex real for us-- we watch him *consume* what remains of Crowley's kiss--showing that he's desperate for it and deprived of it. He's starved for it, to a point of trembling hands and rolling every bit of Crowley's lingering taste around his mouth like he's taking on every last bite of the best crepe he could ever imagine in all his days...

...and then being, understandably, full of rage that this is the only time he's going to ever have Crowley-- and all he's ever going to have of him, when Crowley just offered all of himself-- forever.

And then The Metatron comes back and is Aziraphale ready to go to his death now? And, Friends, Aziraphale...

...is absolutely not.

He's turned away from the door, barely containing tears. When the door opened and he turned, he half-hoped it'd be Crowley but it was grr That Bastard instead. He looks out the window and Crowley is still out there...

...he left but he didn't really *leave*... and it somehow then still isn't over and will someone please just take Aziraphale out back and angel-shoot him? He can't take any more of this.

What about the shop? he asks, in a moment of desperation and terror over what's to come and some blind, stupid hope that he can somehow get out of all of this with him and Crowley still alive and The Metatron, who anticipated this, tells him Muriel lives here now. Aziraphale looks around the home he's made for him and Crowley for the last 223 years and his favorite books and possessions. Crowley's hat from 1941 is on the hat stand, the horse statue is where Crowley put his glasses back when he trusted him, back when he let Aziraphale see his pretty yellow eyes whenever Aziraphale wanted in recent years... before he just put his glasses back on now and closed himself off again.

Aziraphale is never going to see those eyes he loves again. He didn't even get to kiss Crowley without the sunglasses on before it was all over.

Even Gabriel had something to take up to Heaven with him to remind him of the demon he loved but Aziraphale goes to Heaven and to his death empty-handed because he pushed Crowley away to save him from all of this and, in the final push, he looks at Crowley standing there by The Bentley, all that secretly optimistic, beautiful, romantic hope about him still in him from the angel Aziraphale first met, all the awareness there of Aziraphale-- the only being who really knows him-- and so he's still waiting, still hoping. It goes back a few hours to the ball.

I'll be back. I won't leave you on your own.

But it's Aziraphale's call now and he gets into the elevator. The Metatron wins because Aziraphale's love for Crowley wins. He'll die before he lets anything happen to him, even if he wants to run to that car and to him but where would they run *to*? There's no place to go. Crowley has always been wrong about that. They can't go off together. There's no place safe from Heaven for them.

So Aziraphale gets into the elevator at The Dirty Donkey, leaving Crowley alone in the street once again, just with less hope this time than in 1967.

So Aziraphale leaves the bookshop this time, instead of going into it like he did in S1, when he left Crowley in the street, standing beside The Bentley, while clutching a different book this time-- Agnes Nutter's prophecies in his hand versus The Book of Life and its threatened erasure hanging over Aziraphale like the specter that it is. What was predicted about the future versus erasure from the past and all time. Nothing to see here, Crowley! Everything is as it's seems.

Everything is tickety-boo!

Tickety-boo?

Yes, which is also what Aziraphale-as-Crowley said... when he was kidnapped by Heaven and Hell in S1, remember? When he was taken from Earth to be sentenced to death... along *with* Crowley.

This time, Aziraphale is shutting Crowley out again. Telling him 'mind how you go' again, this time a bit more, uh, emphatically lol. And on their heels, again, the end of the world. Arma-bloody-geddon 2.0: The Second Coming.

Aziraphale heard The Metatron saying that was the plan-- as, of course, our villain walked away and meant for it not to be totally heard, further implying that they have no plans to really make Aziraphale the Supreme Archangel and that this is all a remix of Fraulein Greta Klauschmidt. That then makes this all somehow *even worse*... because now Aziraphale gets in the elevator to ride up to his death to save Crowley but now he knows that it was all for nothing.

War is coming. The planet they love will be destroyed. Crowley, if he knows him well enough, will likely die trying to save it. When he does, he'll still be damned to Hell for all of eternity while Aziraphale thinks he likely won't exist at all once he makes it upstairs and Michael finally gets to Book of Life him. Let the other angels think he's been played for a sucker. Better they think him a fool than that they come for Crowley.

He doesn't want to Fall and doesn't wish for it. If they take his memories as punishment, and they almost certainly will, he won't remember any of the moments he spent with Crowley and even if they could have eternity together in Hell if the world is destroyed, he wouldn't wish Crowley the pain of being around him when he didn't remember anything.

Aziraphale only finding out about The Second Coming in the moment before he gets on the elevator-- *after* everything happens with Crowley-- is a million times worse because now Aziraphale is riding to his death knowing that everything they've done in six thousand years doesn't matter and that the events of S1 didn't matter because all it did was delay the inevitable end of the world and everything Aziraphale loves is about to be destroyed.

That, apparently, was God's ineffable, Great Plan.

All of that is what is on Aziraphale's face on the ride up to Heaven in the final splitscreen.

In that splitscreen, Crowley, for what it's worth, is visually echoing the driving back from Tadfield bit that leads to the "tickety-boo" moment of Aziraphale lying to him by omission. He looks close to a parallel to the S1 moment where he suddenly yelled:

"DUCKS!"

They're what water slides off of. In this context? They were also the thing itching at the back of Crowley's mind-- the not quite right thing, the puzzle he couldn't quite figure out, the question he coudln't yet quite answer... until he could. That's positive, actually. It means there might be something for him to realize, even if that realization might come too late in the short term. (They will solve everything and be fine, memory-intact, immortal beings in love who go off together by the end of it. This is all just until then.)

Ducks are also, sort of, the be all and end all of Good Omens. Crowley knows how to take care of them, after all, when others do not. You feed them frozen peas-- they are good for them and they love them, too. (Don't feed him coffee, you Metatron idiot! He only ever drank one mug of it in S1 and it led to the *points above* see: tickety-boo Aziraphale lying to Crowley paralleling sequence of scenes.) [The "do you have one, single, better idea?" scene is Aziraphale drinking coffee, for reference.]

So, yeah, by comparison here... Aziraphale, you are a duck lol. You have been fed bread by idiots for far too long when, really, you need to be eating frozen peas. Crowley knows this and he knows how to take care of you. With any luck, he's about to have his duck-moment-paralleling epiphany any moment now, though I fear you're already going to be memory-wiped and fallen to Hell when he does. That's okay, though, because this is the main scene that still needs a go-around in paralleling and we know Crowley knows where the dungeons are down there from unfortunate, personal experience.

Cottage in the south downs, cottage in the south downs, cottage in the south downs, cottage....

Notes: Hi! If you have made it all the way here, thank you for reading. I hope it was worth the read for you. You all write such great stuff that I felt inspired to put my lit and film studies and psych background to use and jump in a bit. Thanks for indulging me. I also wish to note that there is a gif above that is by @fuckyeahgoodomens but for some reason, the credit was not working properly so I just wanted to make sure you knew who was providing us the visual joy.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley x aziraphale #good omens meta #long post #good omens theory #i am not kidding you this is kinda long but there are gifs and jokes and i brought snacks? #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gabriel

[l0serloki]

omg i just got to know u write for jjk too!! I originaly was following you because of your valorant stuff and i love your writing style and those cute gifs you add at the start of every post <3

If its not alot can you please make some short drabbles/headcannons for the jjk men (gojo, geto, nanami, toji, sukuna, choso, megumi) where its late at night you are all cuddled up and you hear something from downstairs, the man get all protective thinking its an intruder and go check it out. ( you can make it an actual intruder and add a lil fight scene or make it a racoon or a stray cat and make it cute its upto u)

Im sorry if i sound wierd english is not my first language 😅

Intruder Alert

(Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Todo, Sukuna, Choso, Megumi)

A/N : UMMM first off I read Toji as Todo soo.. sorry about that one. Second off thank you so much for the request!! I kinda made these more cracked out than I expected them to be.. I hope you still enjoy and I can always do more if you want.

CW : intruders (duh), casual murder (geto), gojo being an ominous being, Sukuna being on top of you as you wake up

masterlist

Gojo : 

��   Your body was cuddled against your boyfriend as you tried to sleep. As quickly as sleep came, it left. There was a sudden noise downstairs that made you jump.

“What was that?!” Gojo turned to you, scratching at his face. 

“I don’t know. It sounded like something downstairs.” You whisper out and the blue eyed freak groaned.

“Don’t worry babe. I’ll go check it out. There’s no need to be scared.” Gojo grabbed at your hand pulling you out of the warm sheets.

“If you’re going to check it out, why are you taking me along with you?” You deadpanned as he corralled you down the stairs. 

“Because babe if I die then you need to avenge me.” Gojo whispered out as he peeked around the corner. His eyes surveyed the kitchen as he crept in.

“Coast is clear- HOLY SHIT!” Gojo fell back, crawling to your feet. You watched as a raccoon jumped down from the counter, scurrying back outside from the open porch door. 

“Satoru, why did you leave the backdoor open..?” You rolled your eyes as you helped the ‘strongest’ man to his feet.

“I thought you did.” He grinned as he got up and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

“Why am I with you?” You chided and he just pouted.

“So mean..”

Geto : 

   “There’s a noise Sugu..” You whisper out as you adjust in his arms. Your eyes stare up at him as he scrolls through the TV.

“It’s probably nothing Y/N. Don’t worry.” He rubbed at your head as he continued to mindlessly stare. You heard steps creeping as you continued to lay there. You couldn’t help but feel anxious and definitely with the warrant out for your boyfriends head.

“Suguru, someone is in the house.” You plead. He only rolls his eyes as he shuffles around in bed. 

“You’re fine-” His eyes widen as the door slams open, a tall man standing in the wake.

“Geto Suguru, it’s nice to finally meet you.” His grin is wicked and you crawl closer to Suguru out of fear.

“It’s not smart breaking into my house, you know.” He grabs at your form and pulls you up. Curses forming behind the estranged man as Geto frowns. 

“Personal preference really. I don’t get why people consider you that strong.” The man shrugs as he gets closer and you flinch as a punch flies past your face. One of his many curses attach to the mans fist. 

“Pathetic. At least I know I need to replace the lock.” Geto rolls his eyes as the man screams in agony, his head exploding from the pressure of the curse.

“Are you okay darling?” Geto bends down to run his hand across your cheek, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to your warnings before. I’ll be more observant for you.” He leaves another peck as he sets you down against the plush pillows of the bed. 

“Give me a moment to clean up and we can cuddle, okay?” 

You only nod as you shake from the violent attack. You knew you were always safe with him but that didn’t make you worry any less. But at the end of the day, you still had him.

“Okay.” You lean in to give him one more kiss as he goes to clean up the ‘leftovers’.

Nanami : 

  You were cradled in Nanami’s arms as you heard rustling around. Nanami gripped tighter at you as the noises became louder. 

“Kento..” You mumbled out. His soft snores filled the room as you tried to wake him up. You squirmed around in his arms trying to get his attention. A scream left your lips as a harsh knock on the bedroom door filled the silence.

Nanami whipped straight up, gripping at his cleaver that sat on the bedside table. 

“Y/N what’s wrong?” He placed a quick kiss against your forehead as another knock sounded at the door. You gave him a scared look and he squeezed your hand.

“Nanami, are you there? I just got done giving Megumi his gift so if you could open up..!” Gojo’s voice filled the silence and you let out a giant sigh. Of course it was Gojo.

“Gojo, what are you thinking sneaking into peoples houses at 3 am. Regardless of time there is a thing called privacy.” Nanami swung the door open, berating the special grade as he started to push him out. Gojo gave you a thumbs up as he sat the gift bag on the chair and continued to struggle against the blondes hold.

“Try the lemon flavor Y/N! I think you will like it!” Gojo calls out as Nanami shuts the door on his face and sighs. He comes back over to the bed, his face worn down as he falls into his pillow. You couldn’t help but laugh at the buffoonery that unfolded.

“Ken are you okay?” You rubbed at his back. He only groaned as he peeked up from the comfort of the bed.

“Can we pretend that never happened?” 

Todo : 

Todo’s face was buried against your chest as he snored. You ran your fingers through his hair as you continued to mindlessly scroll through your phone. You heard noises creaking against the floorboards which attracted your attention.

“What the hell?” You pushed the large man off your chest and stood up to go check out the noise. 

“Huh..? Y/N..” Todo’s hand yanked you back towards the bed, his eyes pleading for you to continue cradling him. 

“There’s someone there Aoi. You have to let me check.” You push his hands away much to his dismay and move to leave the bedroom. His body moves quicker than yours, ripping away at the door.

“Is someone there!?” 

There was a scuttle from a thief grabbing at some of your belongings, his hands flying up as Todo stomped through the hall.

“How dare you ruin my time with Y/N?! I am disgusted!” Todo grabs the thief by his shirt and tears open the window. 

“Todo, the vase!” You screech as your vase teeters and he throws the man out the window, grabbing the nice china in time.

“Stupid. Now let’s go back to the bedroom.” He dusts himself off as he grabs you with one arm and makes his way back into the room.

“Maybe we should check the door..” You gasp against his tight hold as you try to process what just happened.

“The door should try and check me!” He gloats as he places you gently on the bed, still worked up from having his precious time taken from him.

Sukuna : 

    Your body slid in the sheets as you felt hands gripping at your face. Your eyes slowly opened and adjusted to see the beast on top of you. 

“What-” You struggled to speak as his hand pushed your cheeks together.

“Such pretty lips. All for me?” He grinned as you smacked his chest. Sadly this was a recurring theme with the two of you. Whenever Yuji lost control you always somehow had Sukuna trailing close behind you. And although you weren’t particularly happy waking up to such intrusions, you didn’t mind it either.

“Cmon.” Your voice is garbled as he pets your skin and grins.

“No scream for the intruder? I’m disappointed.” He slaps your cheek lightly, not enough to harm you but just enough to wake you up.

“You’re a piece of shit.” You roll your eyes as he chuckles and pulls you flush against him.

“You like it.”

Choso : 

“Baby.. there’s something outside.” Your eyes barely peek above his arm as you hear the scratching at the window. Choso just groaned and pulled you tighter into his embrace.

“It’s okay. Just sleep..” His voice was hoarse as he patted your head. You couldn’t help but still feel anxious, tugging at him to wake up.

“Please..” You jolted as another harsh slap hit the window. Choso sat up and made an annoyed face.

“Who would be stupid enough to come here?” He stomped out of the bed and over to the window. He ripped at the curtains and opened the window. 

“You think it’s funny-” Choso starts only to get backhanded by the tree arm that had apparently been smacking the window. Your eyes widened as he wiped at his face, turning to see you laughing hysterically. He let out a small laugh as he rolled his eyes.

“Glad to see you’re not worried anymore.” He slides back into bed, pulling you flush against him. 

“Baby you didn’t close the window.”

“Really..”

Megumi : 

  Your body rested against Megumi’s as you both cuddled against the sheets. It was a cold night and the heater was all but broken. One of your hands rubbed at the fur of the black dog coating you like a blanket while the other rubbed through your boyfriend's hair.

There was a ruckus from downstairs, your body jolting at the sudden noise. The dog seemed to notice as well, sitting up and growling, ready to protect you and Megumi.

“There’s something..” You pushed against your boyfriend and he slowly wiped the sleep out of his eyes. You arms circled around him as his shinigami jumped down from the floor and went to go sniff out said intruder.

“If someones there we will know. Don’t worry.” Megumi stretched as he tried to get into action. He jostled himself out of the comfy position and opened the door. 

“Really.” His voice was deadpan as the dog came back into the room and jumped on you, unfazed. You were confused - there had to be someone if Megumi was talking.

“Hello dearest son! I brought sweets! Oh and hello Y/N!” Gojo gives a wave as he holds a giant bag out.

“Get out.” Megumi rolls his eyes as he pushes the bag away and shuffles the sorcerer back through the house. You could only chuckle at the interaction and hope that Megumi would tell him to knock next time.

#gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader fluff #geto suguru #jjk geto #geto x reader #geto x reader fluff #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x reader fluff #nanami kento #todo x reader #todo aoi #todo jjk #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x reader #choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk choso #choso x reader fluff #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi x reader #megumi x reader fluff #jjk headcanons #jjk imagines

[halsteadlover]

𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

*Pics and gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by anon: Can you do a Jay Halstead x reader where they are married, and the reader is like pregnant about to have their baby and she works with Jay and is having a hard time not being able to work. She’s in pain from the pregnancy and doesn’t like not working so when Jay gets home and tells her how the job goes, she just starts crying because of her hormones and Jay just comforts her and they end up talking about the baby and cuddling until the reader falls asleep!

• Warnings: none that I can think of, just fluff lol

• Word count: 1568.

• A/N: I’m trying to get back to writing but I don’t like one bit how this turned out but here it is 😭 sending lots of love to everyone one and stay safe out there xx

“Baby I’m home!”.

Jay’s voice caught your attention and raised your head, immediately directing your gaze towards him. You were lying on the couch, your hand caressing your baby bump as you watched a stupid show on the TV. You almost jumped for joy when you heard your husband’s voice, happy to no longer be alone and joyful to finally see his face after such a long day.

You tried to lift yourself up and sit on the sofa but with your belly now as big as a hot air balloon it was quite difficult. You let out a sound of frustration at the same moment you saw Jay appear in front of you, a bright smile on his lips.

“Here let me help you sweetheart,” he said, holding out both of his hands to you and helping you sit up. He sat down next to you, and you smiled at him before giving him a kiss on the lips.

“Hi baby,” you whispered into the kiss as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “I missed you so much.”

“God, I missed you so much more mama,” he smiled into the kiss before placing a hand on your bump and caressing it, turning his attention to his unborn child. “And I missed you too, little one,” he continued, leaving a tender kiss on it “You were a good boy to mom, right?”

You – while trying to maintain a sense of decorum and not burst into tears at that sweet scene – stroked Jay’s hair, making him turn his head towards you. You were used to hearing him talk to your belly but that didn’t make your heart burst with joy any less every time. “He was a little pest, he didn’t stop kicking for a moment.”

He chuckled before turning his attention back to your baby bump again. “What did dada tell you? Let mom rest and then when you get out of there you can take it all on me.”

“How are you feeling love? How was your day?” He asked, settling back on the couch and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, his fingers playing with strands of your hair.

You sighed, a little distressed. “It was boring as you could see from all the texts I sent you, I did nothing but lay here on the couch. God, I can’t wait to give birth.”

He left a kiss on your temple, and you rested your head on his shoulder. “I know baby, but it’s only a few weeks away. I wish I could do something to make you feel better,” he spoke tenderly. He tried to be present as much as possible, to do everything in his power to make you happy and make the pregnancy less burdensome but the truth was that he couldn’t do anything to fill the sense of helplessness you felt.

You and Jay had been working together in Intelligence for years now and never in your life you thought you’d miss the job so much, chasing criminals and catching them. Being pregnant was truly an indescribable experience and you never thought you’d feel so much love for a little being growing inside you and that hadn’t even been born yet, a love so deep you thought your heart would explode.

But you couldn’t deny the other side of the coin either: the sleepless nights, the back pain, the nausea, the hormones and, above all, having to constantly rest. You tried to do some office work, but Voight had forbidden you to even do that, with obviously Jay’s support.

You felt like you were going crazy.

“How was your day?” You asked your husband, playing with his fingers as he continued to stroke your hair and cuddle you.

“It was hectic.” He sighed. “We didn’t stay in the unit for even ten minutes, we worked on a case of an armed robbery with a deceased victim as I already told you…” He continued to speak but the sudden sound of your sobs made him stop in the middle of the sentence. “Babe oh my God, you okay?”

You covered your face with both of your hands, no longer able to keep the tears at bay that continued to pour out of your eyes. You didn’t know what came over you at that moment, which is why you blamed the crazy hormones.

“Baby, talk to me please,” Jay continued in an urgent and concerned tone. “Did I say something wrong? Look at me.”

“I-I’m fine,” you murmured with shaky breaths. He grabbed your hands and pulled them away from your face, but you refused to look at him, continuing to cry and sob.

“Love please look at me,” he said urgently. “You’re make me worry to death.”

“I-It’s nothing…”

He gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to turn your face towards him and look at him. His heart sank as he saw your eyes so shiny, although it was a sight he had reluctantly become used to due to the hormones and your mood changes.

He wiped away the tears with his thumb, gently and lovingly caressing your skin, making you cry even more.

God, you hated this.

“It’s okay mama, I’m here with you. Talk to me, what’s bothering you?”

You sighed. “I feel so useless…”

A confused and bewildered expression appeared on his face. “What you mean useless?”

“I sit here all day doing nothing…” Another sob escaped your lips. “I can’t go to work, I can barely cook anything without getting out of breath… I can’t even do house chores without having to sit down after five fucking minutes and you’re forced to do everything when you come home from work tired…”

“Stop, stop,” he interrupted you. “I won’t hear anything else about this nonsense love. You’re the mother of my child, you’re growing our little baby, there is nothing more important than this.”

“But…”

“No, no ‘buts’. You have no idea how much I admire you princess, how much I envy your strength. You’re growing a whole human being inside you; you have any idea how fucking wonderful and awesome this is? You’re creating a new life and along with this, mine too because, believe me baby, I have never felt so alive in my entire life. You have no idea the gift you’re giving me and nothing, and I mean nothing I can do will ever be enough to repay you for everything you’re going, damn baby you’re growing our family.”

His fingers caressed your face, continuing to wipe away your tears and smiling at you with so much warmth and sweetness you felt your heart was about to stop.

“You’re not useless, you’ll never be. I can’t even imagine how hard it is, or how you feel but I will always be here to help you, I will be with you every step of the way.” He kissed you, tasting your salty tears. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

You shrugged playfully trying to hold back a smile and he chuckled at the way you were crying a minute ago and now you were smiling. He hugged you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and letting you rest your head on his chest.

“But I love you so much more,” you murmured, eyes closed as you breathed in deeply that scent made you feel like home.

“Mmh I don’t think so.”

“There are two of us so you can’t win this one,” you replied, “Thank you so much love, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

“Shh don’t even say it.” He caressed your hair, smiling even though you couldn’t even see him. “How are you feeling now?”

The moment he asked you this question, your baby gave a particularly hard kick in your womb, making you immediately sit up straight and put a hand on that spot where you felt it.

“Woah woah baby you okay? Is he okay? What happened? You need something?” Jay began peppering you with questions in his overprotective way, his expression instantly twisted with anxiety and worry.

“I’m fine, he’s just kicking,” you replied, taking a few deep breaths. You took Jay’s hand and placed it on your baby bump seeing the way his tight features visibly relaxed and a huge smile grew on his lips.

No matter how many times he felt his baby kick, every single time was more emotional than the previous one. Jay leaned towards your belly again, pressing a kiss on it. “Hey buddy it’s dad here, how about you let mommy rest for a bit? She had a bit of a rough day… But don’t worry I’m always here, dada is waiting for you so eagerly and he loves you more than his own life,” he whispered, talking to his unborn son as he used to do every night since he found out you were pregnant.

You smiled, struggling to hold back the tears again as you caressed his hair and imagined the moment when you’d finally become a family.

You imagined the moment you’d see Jay pick up your son for the first time, how much he’d be loved by his mom and dad and the more you looked at your husband – the love of your life, you everything, your safe haven – the more you thought you could’ve never chosen a better father for your child.

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[dengswei]

Hii you're so talented!! i wonder if you could explain how you did this gif effect with the squares? and do you have any tips on colouring because yours is always top notch <3333

heyy thank you so much 🥹 and of course! i've never really done a tutorial before but i'll try my best to explain it in a way that makes sense 😅

so i start off with making my two gifs seperatly and colouring them as i normally would, once i've done that i load both gifs into the same project and once i've done all that i started on the grid part:

now go to view -> add guides and this window should pop up:

(it's was so daunting at first when i saw this i was like ????? and started putting in random numbers and was like oh that's how this works 🤣)

here's the settings i used for my gif which is 540px x 500px in size with 5 squares x 4 squares: (if you want more or less you just have to play around with it)

once you've done that it should look something like this:

now the next part is really up to preference again: add a vector mask onto the gif that's above the other one like this: (ignore the name of my folder that is irrelevant 🤣)

and then i used the rectangle select tool (this is because the rectangle select should lock onto the grid squares making it easier to erase certain sections) + a black brush tool to erase the squares to show the other gif that's underneath (you can reposition both gifs to your liking which is what i did)

before & after:

so my vector mask looks like this afterwards

(you don't have to do the squares so close together like i did it was just how i liked it & because of the scenes i had chosen that mine turned out this way)

now onto the grid lines: i used the line tool with these settings

just like with the rectangle select tool the line tool should lock onto the grid line you want to redraw, do this for every line that you want/have for your grid & once you're done go to view -> clear guides and it should look something like this: (added a version with just a black background so it can be seen a little easier)

(i'm ngl idk why my lines ended up kinda faded and not white 🤣 i think it might be because i used a white fill instead of white stroke but it doesn't really matter to me because i got my ideal outcome anyway 🤣)

bonus step: you can stop here if you'd like but i wanted my lines to match my colouring & my intended typography so i put all my line layers into a folder and set the mode to difference & added a yellow fill layer with a clipping mask, like this:

and it should look like this:

you can also play around with the opacity of the lines too which is what i tried out but i prefered for my set the lines being at 100% opacity but it's really up to you with what you want to play around with

now once you're happy with everything merge those layers together (make sure they have the same amount of frames first before merging them) and either save as it is or add some typography like i did and you should end up with this:

for tips when it comes to colouring it really depends on what you're colouring, if you want to manipulate the colours as much as i do i recommend choosing a colour within the scene so you're not having to change too much, or finding scenes that have colours that can be manipulated more easy (any colour that aren't skin tones, unless you're working with red or yellow like i did here, i chose yellow because one of the outfits in the gif was yellow toned and it looked better with the gifset being yellow than my original colour which was blue), also looking for scenes were the people in it don't move as much also is a big help!

i hope this helps :) feel free to ask more questions if you didn't understand or want some more tips i honestly don't mind!

#replies #mrmalcolmslist #photopeablr #tutorials #photopea tutorials #completeresources #usergif #mine | tutorials #gif tutorial #photopea #resources #gif resources #gifmakerresource #i hope i didn't forget anything aksjdskds #photopea tutorial #tutorial #gif tutorials

[morallyinept]

Bad Acting - A Dieter Bravo GIFLET

Uh, Jett, what the heck is a GIFLET?

Just a short 500 words or less drabble, based on inspiration that I got from a GIF. Simples.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x GN!Reader (No name or physical description of reader. It's you, bub.)

Word Count: 500

Scoville Smut Rating: None, it's fluff. You're safe.

Check out my Scoville Smut Ratings here

GIFLET MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

Enjoy! 🖤

This GIFLET was inspired by the below GIF 👇🏻

He feels like he might throw up.

And not from the binge last night at the hotel bar in an attempt to push it all down, although he can still taste that around his teeth as it all, inevitably, came back up.

No, it’s something else that’s unsettling his stomach today.

But he’s only prolonging the agony.

Something that he's tried to avoid, something he’s tried to put off.

Tried swaying the director to re-shoot another scene, tinker with it some more, even though it’s perfect.

He can’t do this scene; he can’t kiss you, because then you’ll know.

You’ll know exactly how much of a shitty actor he really is.

Everyone says it, so it must be true.

And Dieter can’t hide this. Act his way out of it. He’s never met anyone like you before.

Never met someone whose eyes sparkle genuinely at him as if he’s the only person in the room. When he opens his mouth to speak, you hang on every word, even the dumb ones that come out and make him sound more neurotic than he really is.

You agree with him about not wearing wireless earbuds, that’s gotta mean, something, right?

It keeps him up at night mulling it over, his cock painfully hard with lewd thoughts of you, but he can't do anything about it because it seems… disrespectful somehow.

And that's how he knows it means something more.

And he wants it to be you, wants you to be the one to reap the reward of his pleasure, even if he won't last that long.

He’s never met anyone who’s so acutely aware of him and his nuances, his ticks.

His stomach feels like it might fall out of his ass as you both hover on set waiting for your cue.

When he has to kiss you - and then, you’ll know.

You’ll know he’s a faker and a talentless idiot, and you’ll know he’s absolute putty in your hands.

The director calls action, and Dieter's teeth clash against yours. You both bonk heads clumsily.

“Sorry, sorry,” Dieter says, as the director cuts.

You can see the tremble in his fingers, he won’t look at you today and is unusually quiet.

“Dieter?” You murmur, and he still won’t look at you.

So you take his chin, turn it to you until his eyes find yours.

You lean in, pressing your lips gently to his, and you feel him sag, moaning into your mouth with want.

“Now you know.” He says as he pulls back, his breath staining your lips. “Fuck.”

“I think I’ve always known.” You say softly, and the arch of a relieved smile threatens to bend at the corner of his lips.

“You really are a shit actor,” you conclude with a grin.

Dieter spits out a chuckle before leaning in to kiss you again.

You can both hear the director asking if they’re rolling, but it fades away as you listen to Dieter whimper with need inside your mouth.

#pedro pascal x reader #dieter bravo x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x gn!reader #the bubble fic #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo fanfic #jett's writing #dieter bravo giflet

[paddockbunny]

Watching P*rn Together

Summary : Exactly as it sounds. How the discussion about watching it happens. Rating : 18+ Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader, Max Verstappen x reader & George Russell x reader. Word Count : Blurbs so short. Warnings : NSFW, adult material, porn discussion, mentions of girl on girl, threesomes and opinions of bodies. : -----------------------------------------------------------------

Charles Leclerc

- You found him watching it when you thought he was in his game room streaming.

- First you were shocked but that lasted for all of ten seconds before you opened the door and slinked over to him asking if you could watch too.

- He tried to stop it. Fumbling over the keyboard and yanking his headphones off like lightening fast.

- He was mega embarrassed and had such a guilty look on his face but when you smiled down at him and he finally opened up his lap to you

- Now in your position, you could feel his cock, totally firm and erect under his sweatpants.

- It was you that turned the porn back on, he seemed to nervous to do it himself. You pulled his headphones out before clicking the screen.

- He was watching girl on girl. A brunette and a blonde.

- As the breathy sounds of the brunette going down on the blonde filled the air you glanced at your still embarrassed boyfriend.

- He was watching it rather intently and as your hand ran through his dark, soft hair, you found it was actually was quite the turn on.

- So quietly you asked if he wanted to start watching it together; “Charles…do you want to bring this into the bedroom? I mean, we can watch it together sometimes.”

- “Really?” His voice went very high pitched and when you nodded he inhaled a phenomenally large breath “Merde….” He whispered and then nodded like he was 10 years younger than he actually was.

- He was taken aback that you were willing to do this for him and you swear you felt his cock twitch under your ass.

- Quickly, it became one of your favourite things to do with him. You both loved exploring different themes and categories, not yet finding one that didn’t have you both ready to fuck within a few moments.

- Sometimes you would even text him a hot gif you found online and he would send you a link to a scene he wanted you to watch while he was away.

- It had really worked out for the best, it made your sex life better and you were glad you walked in on him.

Max Verstappen

- It had come about in quite an unusual way, the porn discussion. He was sent a gif as a joke by his guy friends and you had answered his phone while he was driving.

- It didn’t shock you. Not at all. And it shocked you even less when Max brushed it off and didn’t even think of explaining it.

- He watched it, you knew that. He didn’t hide it or shy away from it at all. And you were accepting of it. Just like he was accepting of the fact you had a toy box under the bed. But this particular time, you thought you could be bold.

- “She’s kinda hot no?” You asked as he pulled into the apartment complex’s parking. He waited till he pulled his handbrake on to grab his phone and look at the gif of the petite girl in the video.

- “Yeah I guess. I’m not really into her boobs though. Her implants are so obvious.” You smiled at him because in fairness that was exactly what you thought too.

- He put his phone away and you both exited the car and he grabbed your hand as you went to the elevator.

- Once in side you leaned into him and asked him bluntly “Do you want to watch some together?”

- You could tell he was taken aback because his eyebrows did that thing and his eyes closed. “You’d be into it?”

- “Yeah. We can play spot the implants” you giggled and he kissed your neck and gripped your waist tightly.

- “You have no idea how long I’ve thought about asking you if you wanted to watch it with me?” He replied and as the elevator door opened, just as he reached round to squeeze your ass.

- It send an excited tingle shoot right to your dampening slit. It would certainly be an interesting evening.

George Russell

- You find it on his laptop when yours crashed and you had work to do.

- You were researching something for university and closed an important page by accident. So had to go to the search history to find how you got to the website in the first place.

- But only a few underneath the page you needed was a porn website.

- Alone, in a hotel room while George was off at practice, you were curious as to what exactly he was looking at (promising to keep an open mind about it).

- Threesomes. Male x Female x Male.

- And you sat back in your chair and thought about what you were watching. And then you thought of the ways you could ask him what it was about that particular genre of porn he seemed to be so into.

- So that night after he came home exhausted from practise and had showered, you thought it was a good time to broach the subject. Asking him to sit beside you as you found the page again.

- “Baby, I know how this will seem but I don’t want you to get mad….I just want to talk about it.” You turned the laptop around so he now knew what you were talking about. -

- George reacted a little better than what you thought he would. He watched as the clip started playing and then looked at you.

- “Is this something you want to do?”

- “Fuck yeah.” He admitted it straight away. “I mean have you watched it? It’s hot.” He smirked and took the laptop from you and now was encouraging you both to watch it together.

- You felt pretty glad you had the guts to bring it up, and that he felt so open with you to admit he wanted to try it.

- You watched two more clips and while on the fourth you turned and told him;

- “If it’s something you want to do in real life, we can find someone to join us?”

- “Really? You mean it?” His eyes were so wide and hopeful.

- You nodded “Fuck! God I love you.” He pounced on you straight away. And for the following weeks it was all George could think about.

#charles leclerc #Charles Leclerc imagine #Charles Leclerc x reader #Charles Leclerc blurb #Charles Leclerc fic #cl #f1 imagines #f1 smut #f1 fanfic #f1 one shot #max Verstappen #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen blurb #max Verstappen fic #mv33 #mv #george russell #George russell imagine #George russell blurb #George russell fic #george russell x reader #george russell fanfic

[arabellas]

do you have a coloring tutorial? your gifs are so nice and vibrant, how do you do it? :)

hi, here's a simple basic coloring tutorial that I use pretty much for all of my gifsets:

I won't get into the basics of making a gif as this is just a coloring tutorial, but here is my gif after I just crop and resize it:

and here it is after I sharpen it:

sharpen can affect the depth of shadows in a gif, so I do this before I add any coloring, but I know some people color first and only then sharpen, so both ways work!

alright, ready for some fun coloring? let's go!

before adding any adjustment layers, I suggest creating a new group, so all of your coloring changes can neatly sit in one place.

I always start with levels and curves, they often help to make the overall gif more natural if the lighting is too yellow, too dark, etc., it's a very useful guide, especially if you're new to gifmaking. so, let's start by clicking on the levels icon, a new adjustment layer should appear over your gif layers:

the next step is to click on each of these little icons (I usually only use the top and bottom ones) and to select the lightest and the darkest parts of your gif. pick the top one, select the darkest part and then pick bottom one and pick the lightest part, you should see some changes on your gif, sometimes they're subtle, sometimes they're very obvious:

in my gif the lightest part is somewhere near her shoulder where the light hits, the darkest part is her sunglasses (if there are a lot of dark/light parts, I just click around and see whichever looks more subtle. for example, I tried the part on top of her head where the light hit, but it made the gifset too blue because the lighting is yellowish, but since the whole scene is not very yellow, it looked weird so I'm sticking with her shoulder, it just simply looks better overall):

and then I do the same thing with the curve adjustment layer, selecting the darkest and lightest part of my gif just like I did with the levels layer:

while this is a good guide for beginners, it doesn't always fix all the problems. it can be quite harsh, so I recommend setting the opacity to a lower percentage and if it looks a little weird, sliding the arrows to one side and another with each color until it looks better to you:

like I said, it's a good guide but manual work is often needed, don't be afraid to mess around with the settings. for this gif I set levels layer opacity to 60% and curves to 37%.

moving on, I'm adding a selective color adjustment layer to fix how the skintone looks with red and yellow colors. it differs with each scene, sometimes the skin is too yellow and orange, so I add more cyan and less yellow but in this case I chose these settings and I set the opacity of this layer to 35%:

I want to mention that with poc it's very important not to mess around too much with their skin tone and not to white-wash and orange-wash them, there are quite a lot of tutorials on how to avoid doing that.

the next layer I add is exposure, I want to brighten my gif a little bit. you can do that by selecting either brightness or exposure layer like I did:

the scene I'm working with is pretty bright, so I'm not adding too much of exposure, here are my settings:

next up, I want to deepen the shadows a little bit, so I use a gradient map for that:

I use black and white gradient and set the opacity to 10%:

moving on, color balance is another great trick to make the gif look more smooth with one consistent color overall:

if I'm working with scenes that have a lot of green/yellow in them and I want to get rid of that, this is a quick way to slide the arrow to the opposite color and soften it a little bit by adding another color. I usually like to add more magenta to midtones and make the gif have a little bit of a pink look. here are my settings for this specific gif and the opacity of this layer is set to 30%:

and here's what difference it made to the gif:

as you can see, the colors outside the circle are less green on her skin and hair. it's all coming together nicely!

let's move on to the background colors. I add another selective color layer and I'm gonna play with the colors I want to enhance the most. in this case it's green grass and her blue clothes. here are my settings for these colors:

and finally, to enhance the vibrant coloring even more, I like to add one final hue/saturation layer:

here I like to add more saturation to the colors we're focusing on in the background and add around +20 of saturation. I did this to green, cyan and blue colors:

and that's it! here is the finished gif compared to the completely raw one:

this coloring tutorial is very basic, but it works for most scenes I work with, I just sometimes focus on other colors, add more or less layers but the overall process is very similar.

I encourage to mess around with all the settings and see which ones look the most pleasing to your eye. let me know if you have any questions :)

#gif tutorial #coloring tutorial #tutorial #tutorials #ask #anonymous

[readerthatreadsss]

Sweet Fantasy | Dean Winchester

GIF by born-to-be-his-baby88

(gave myself an actual pat on the fucking back for finding this gif like y'all are gonna see how perfect it is in a second!)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Dean won't eat his vegetables...until you offer to cash in on a very recent fantasy of his, that is.

Warnings [18+ MINORS DNI]: P*rn w/ some solid plot action actually, a bit of domestic fluff sprinkled in, reader and Dean are married (don't know if that's a warning but you should know?), reader dresses up in a sexy Zorro costume with the hat and mask included, handcuffs (Dean receiving), mentions of a safeword but not used, fingering/masturbation (reader receiving), oral sex (brief Dean receiving), a whole lotta teasing (Dean receiving), p in v sex (cowgirl, missionary), unprotected sex (wrap your willy before you fuck her silly!), dirty talk, switch! Dean, switch! reader, very vocal Dean, brief choking (Dean receiving), creampie.

A/n: Hey! Sorry for disappearing for 3 months again...So classes finished almost 2 months ago and I've been wracking my brain about what to post. I tried finishing some of my drafts and it just wasn't working for me idk. Then, like any normal person, I was randomly watching some SPN bloopers this morning and it got to a scene where Dean said sometimes he wants to get spanked during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask and my brain ran with that shit IMMEDIATELY. Now, I'm so sorry I couldn't actually write him actually getting spanked without it sounding corny and just wrong to me? But I did write all of this in 7 hours without stopping so I'm honestly proud of it regardless.

Enjoy...

It was a Sunday evening in the bunker, meaning you were responsible for dinner. With that task came the additional task of getting Dean to eat whatever vegetables you cooked without complaining and engaging in a rant that would end with him calling himself the “meat man”.

It’s not that you were concerned about Dean's weight or appearance, after 7 years of marriage you were confident that there was nothing in the world that could make you love Dean Winchester any less. But having a steady diet of beer, beef, and pie was a surefire way to kill any man of Dean’s age faster than any monster or demon.

And God knows you’d do anything to ensure he didn’t die before his time.

Hell, you have before.

Which is why you made Dean agree to eat a side of only vegetables with whatever meat he wanted at least once a week. This week it was string beans and sautéed mushrooms, aka his least favorite vegetable.

But you didn’t have the time to make the 45-minute drive to the grocery store earlier that day so he would have to deal.

Or you wish he would deal…

“Mushrooms? Baby come on,” he complained when you placed his plate before him.

“Hey, it’s all that was left in the fridge. Eat up,” you shrugged, placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

“You know, we could always do no vegetables,” Dean offered with a wide grin.

You chuckled and used a finger to squish his stubbled cheek. “You wish, Winchester.”

He sighed in defeat and turned to pick up his fork.

You looked to make sure Sam was out of earshot before leaning down to where your lips grazed Dean’s ear. “Tell you what, if you eat those vegetables I’ll do that thing you told me about…later” you whispered.

Dean’s eyes lit up immediately, “The thing?” he harshly whispered.

You nodded with a smile.

“Costume and everything?” He made a gesture with his hands.

“Yup, I’ve been hiding the costume for weeks.”

“I’m game” Dean agreed, digging into the mushrooms first.

You turned away to share your own plate with a smile.

“I’m gonna go grocery shopping later,” Sam announced as he sat beside Dean with his plate. He met your eyes, “Anything else you forgot to put on the list?”

“Yeah stop at the liquor store and grab me a bottle of red? I ran out,” you answered sitting across from the boys with your plate.

Sam grabbed a pen and a piece of folded paper from his pocket and added it to his list, “Yeah, no problem. What brand again?”

You swallowed a piece of your chicken with a smirk. “I’m sure you already know seeing as you’re the one who emptied the bottle to the very last drop,” you addressed Sam.

His pen slipped from his grip, his green eyes widening to meet your narrowed ones.

“You drink red wine?” Dean pointed at Sam in disbelief as a laugh rumbled in his chest.

“How did you know?” He asked you, ignoring Dean’s quip.

“I saw you passed out in the library clutching the bottle the other night.”

“Listen Dean finished all the beer and it was the first thing I saw,” he defended himself.

“Oh, you’re getting more creative with your excuses. I'm impressed!” You gushed, sarcasm evident in your tone, “What was it again last week? ‘Oh Eileen wanted to taste some’ " you mimicked his gruff tone causing him to roll his eyes and Dean’s laughter to grow louder. “-when we all know that Eileen is a white wine type of gal.”

"I-" Sam tried to come up with a retort but eventually gave up. “Whatever.”

“Yeah pick up 3 bottles this time in case Eileen wants a taste,” you replied with a grin.

“Three bottles?!” He exclaimed.

“You aren’t the one paying for it, genius,” you reminded him, referring to the unlimited card Charlie hacked for you all those years ago.

“Yeah but I’m gonna have to lug it up here,” Sam mumbled as he stuck his fork into his chicken.

Dinner continued mostly in silence with Sam thinking about the two lousy trips he’d have to make between his car and the kitchen once he returns with the groceries, Dean thinking about the reward he’ll be getting for the vegetables he’s actually grown used to eating, and y/n thinking about all the ways she’s gonna make Dean squirm later.

~ ~ ~

Hours had passed since dinner and Sam was now on his way to the grocery store leaving just you and Dean in the bunker.

To say he was excited would be an understatement.

Dean first told you about this fantasy of his after a case you had months ago required you to take a trip to an adult costume shop to question the owner. It took mere seconds for the image of you in the very specific costume to cross his mind after laying eyes on the packaging.

You laughed at the idea when he told you and silently decided you would try and find the costume.

Of course, he didn’t believe you would actually indulge him but you were actually excited too. Costumes and toys weren’t new territory for you and Dean but they were few and far between with your unpredictable hunting schedules.

Dean now sat at the edge of your shared bed wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt waiting for you to return like you had promised.

But it had been almost 20 minutes since you left to get changed and his patience was wearing thin. He was seconds away from getting up and coming to see if you needed help or if you were even hurt.

Which you predicted would be the case.

So you had been standing out of sight by the doorway for less than a minute now waiting for him to try and leave.

“Damnit,” Dean eventually gave in to his worries and began to make his way to the door.

You smirked once you heard his determined steps drawing closer.

Dean’s eyes widened once you spun from your hiding spot against the wall to stand before him. “Looking for me?”

You watched his throat bob and his pupils dilate as he took in your full look.

Atop your head and face rested a sexy black Zorro mask and matching hat. You were also wearing a black sleeveless leather top that stopped in your midriff region and had strings tied between your breasts that allowed a whole lot of cleavage to be on display. The leather skirt that accompanied was low-waisted and stopped at your upper thigh, matching the black thong you were wearing beneath.

You had stretched the thin straps of the thong along your hips above the skirt for added flair.

In your right hand, you held a fake silver sword similar to the one Zorro held in the movies, and hanging from the left side of your skirt were two handcuffs ready and waiting to be used.

You were sex on knee-length boot-covered legs.

Dean felt himself growing hard already.

You bit your bottom lip at the way your husband’s eyes roamed your body, hoping the dark red lipstick covering it was as transfer and waterproof as the box advertised.

“You look...stunning,” Dean marveled. The model on the packaging of the costume didn’t come close to how it looked on your body.

Your heart swelled at the compliment before remembering the persona you had practiced for the night ahead. “Oh I know,” you took a step closer and leaned against the doorway. You pointed the sword in Dean’s direction. “Why are you still dressed, Dean?” you asked with furrowed brows and a smile.

A chuckle almost left your lips at the sight of Dean fumbling with his pant strings and tripping over his own legs to send the pajama bottoms flying over to a random corner while throwing off his t-shirt with record speed.

He stood before you in only his boxers, his enjoyment of your costume evident by the bulge in the center.

“Get on the bed.” You told him, your tone not excessively commanding but sexy enough to make him obey immediately.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, quickly sitting and sliding up to the headboard of the bed.

You walked further into the room and placed your sword down before climbing onto the bed and slowly crawling to where Dean sat. His green eyes followed your every move as you moved to straddle him, but not fully.

You then grabbed the two pairs of handcuffs attached to your hips and twirled them around your fingers. “How you feeling Dean?” you checked in, your hips hovering above his thighs, making sure to not touch his erection just yet.

“Oh, I feel great. Real great. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this great,” he nodded eagerly as you cuffed each of his hands to each bedpost, getting a face full of your boobs in the process.

"You sound nervous," you teased him, "Am I making you nervous baby?"

"Me? Nervous? Pfft!"

You scoffed, not believing him one bit. "What's our safe word?" you asked him gently.

Dean leaned forward as much as his restraints would allow to press a sweet kiss against your stomach. " 'Oklahoma', baby," he grinned.

You then let your clothed ass sink down on his covered erection. Dean groaned and tried to reach for your hips instinctively only to meet the restriction of the handcuffs. “I hope they aren’t too tight 'cause they’re gonna be on there for a while,” you nearly bust out laughing at the look Dean gave you.

“A while?” he repeated, dreading not being able to touch you at a time like this.

You shrugged, “If you behave I might change my mind.”

Before he could argue further, you leaned forward and connected your lips in a searing kiss. His breath was hot against your face as your lips drifted to his neck while your hands found themselves in his hair.

A breathy groan slipped past his lips when you nipped a specific spot beneath his ear lobe. “You’re so loud. Maybe I should’ve bought a muzzle,” you whispered in his ear teasingly, feeling his dick jump beneath you at your words. “I'll remember that next time,” you replied to his body's response.

“Baby, do you have any idea how amazing you look? ” Dean gushed, struggling against his restraints as you began to grind your hips against his covered cock.

You smiled and met his lips in a kiss once again. He slipped his tongue between your welcoming lips, allowing his taste to flood your mouth. You pulled away seconds later, nipping his bottom lip, and removed yourself from his lap.

He watched nervously, awaiting your next move while you scooted farther away from him along the bed. You slowly slipped off your boots, your confidence unwavering as you held Dean’s hungry stare.

He watched you use a hand to hold yourself upright before spreading your legs open to reveal the lace thong covering your already-drenched pussy. “Are you about to..." he trailed off, jaw clenched as he spoke.

"Hmm mhm. And there is not a damn thing you can do about it...except watch," you slowly removed your thong and threw it at Dean’s lap. He immediately became hyperaware of the feeling of the wet lace draped over his dick.

You slowly brought two fingers up to your lips and sucked them even slower to coat them in your saliva and give Dean a show before bringing them down to where you needed them the most. You began slow ministrations against your aching clit, pulling moans from yourself that made Dean impossibly harder.

He took a deep breath at the sight, imagining his own fingers parting your folds and rubbing at your swollen clit.

“You are a menace,” Dean laughed in obvious distress, licking his dried lips. He couldn’t handle watching you touch yourself without being able to touch you any longer so he looked away, swallowing harshly at the sound of your wetness against your fingers.

“Look at me Dean,” you mewled, continuing to rub your pussy in small quick circles. He turned reluctantly, watching as you slowly pushed two fingers inside your dripping hole. “See this, baby? It’s all for you,” you said, melting into a moan when your fingers grazed a spot inside you that drew your orgasm closer.

“I gotta taste you, baby,” Dean pleaded, “Open these and let me taste you, please,” he rattled the handcuffs against the bedposts.

The pure agony in his voice had your fingers and breathing speeding up and soon your climax was approaching. Dean’s breathing picked up in response. “Fuck, Dean I’m gonna cum,” you moaned, pressing a thumb to your clit while your fingers kept working inside of you to bring you to the edge.

A thin layer of sweat appeared on Dean’s forehead as he watched you keenly. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, his self-control draining by the second.

Your eyes remained open and locked onto his, your moans growing louder and borderline pornographic. You were putting on a show and he was losing his mind.

“I’m cumming, fuck-“ you panted as your first orgasm of the night slammed into you and caused you to make a small mess on the sheets beneath you. Your body shook sporadically with aftershocks of your own work

Dean’s head hung low. “Jesus baby,” he huffed, his own voice strangled, “you’re trying to give me a heart attack aren’t you?”

You smiled as you crawled back up to sit on Dean’s lap, taking your thong and throwing them somewhere unseen. “Ehh maybe,” you replied coyly, straightening your hat and mask. “And since you behaved so well,” you reached a hand down to touch his clothed cock, “I think you deserve a reward,” you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Dean allowed you to pull his boxers off his body, watching you wrap a hand around his painfully erect cock. “Fuck,” he groaned at the feeling of your hand wrapped around him.

You slid down to where you could lay flat on your stomach between his legs and leaned down to briefly swirl your tongue around where precum was gathered at the tip.

“Take the hat off and look at me pretty girl,” Dean said.

You complied, throwing the hat off to the edge of the bed before diving down and licking his tip once again, but this time keeping your eyes locked onto his.

“Holy shit,” Dean groaned, his hips twitching upwards. You then opened your mouth and wrapped it around his length, slowly sliding down until your nose was nuzzled at the base, staying there for a few seconds before coming back up for air. “Hell yes, baby that's perfect,” he panted as you began sucking faster along his length, a few lone tears flowing from beneath the mask from the familiar stretch of his cock in your throat.

Your head continued to bob up and down Dean’s length for some time, drawing shallow moans of your name and grunts from him before you finally let up and pressed one last kiss against the side of his cock.

Dean’s chest heaved as you licked your lips and used a hand to wipe your face clean. “Goddamnit," he whined at your sudden stop, feeling his impending orgasm return to its hiding place.

You grabbed your previously discarded Zorro hat and placed it back on your head before hiking your skirt up to allow you more room to move your legs around Dean’s lap. “Can’t have you cumming before I’m done with you sweetheart,” you replied while untying the strings of your top and removing it.

The keys to the handcuffs dropped onto Dean’s lap from where you previously hid them in your top. You had honestly forgotten you put them there but it just presented yet another opportunity to get Dean all whiny and desperate, which was a rarity that you rather enjoyed.

“Oops would you look at that,” you exclaimed playfully, taking them up and dangling them in front of Dean’s eyes.

"Alright baby you broke me. Come on, just let me go, and trust me, I will make it worth your while,” Dean bargained with you.

"As enticing as that sounds," you paused and brought your hand up to caress Dean’s cheek before pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. You pulled away with a grin. “I love hearing you beg, so no,” you whispered against his lips.

Dean loudly groaned watching you gently place the keys down on the closest nightstand. “Shit,” he shut his eyes.

But they shortly shot open once you used a hand to grip his length and bring it between your dripping folds.

A pleased hum left your lips once the tip glazed your clit causing Dean to swallow harshly. “Aren’t you sick of teasing me,” he hissed.

Fuck no.

You used a free hand to grip the back of his hair. “Take a deep breath for me, Dean,” you told him, feeling his chest rise against yours soon after. And as it fell, you slipped his cock inside your entrance.

You slowly sank down onto his length until it was fully buried inside you, groaning at the welcomed stretch.

“I love those sounds you make for me,” Dean whispered against your lips.

“Oh you’re gonna be making some of those sounds too,” you smirked, clenching around him causing a sharp grunt to reach your ears.

You guided your hips up and down Dean’s length, riding him at a quickening pace. He jerked his hips upward to match your cadence drawing a gasp from your lips when his cock hit that spot inside you that had you seeing stars. “There you go baby,” Dean groaned, “you look so fucking good riding my cock.”

The hat and mask from your costume managed to stay in place as you slammed down on Dean’s cock repeatedly. And it was an image that he would never forget.

Your hand released Dean’s hair and instead found itself wrapped around Dean’s neck as you rode him faster. A whine that shot straight to your cunt escaped his lips when your fingers slightly tightened their grip around his throat.

You suddenly slowed down and instead began to grind your hips against his, moaning loudly when your clit grazed his pelvis. “I’m gonna cum again shit!” You threw your head back in obscene pleasure, releasing Dean's throat and holding onto his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Fuck yes. Use my cock to get off, sweetheart,” Dean urged you on before leaning forward to suck one of your nipples as best as he could.

This soon pushed you over the edge, your climax tearing a scream from within you as your hips faltered around Dean’s cock, your hat flying off your head once more. Dean relished in the way your cunt pulsed around him from your orgasm as well as the look of sheer pleasure that crossed your face at that moment. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiled up at you, meaning every word.

You kissed his forehead with a smile and reached for the handcuff keys. “I think I’ve tortured you enough,” you freed his right hand first, pressing a kiss against his wrist, then did the same to his left, “This is supposed to be a reward after all.”

Dean’s lips curved into a smirk at his newfound freedom. “Yes it is, sweetheart.”

A surprised yelp left your lips when Dean gripped your hips and flipped you onto your back. He grabbed your hat and placed it on his own head before sending you a wink. “And I’m not feeling rewarded just yet.”

You nearly came just from the sight of Dean hovering above you in only that hat. “We’re gonna have to talk about my sexy cowboy fantasy when we’re done here,” you raised a brow.

A low chuckle echoed from Dean’s chest. He reached up and tipped his hat in your direction, “yes ma’am.” He replied with a deep southern drawl.

Your pussy clenched instantly.

“That was hot as fuck,” you breathed.

“Thank you darlin’ “ he replied in the same accent with a wink.

You giggled before pulling him down for a kiss. He pulled away and touched the mask still wrapped around your eyes. “And thank you for doing this for me, baby,” he smiled down at you, “It was so so much better than I imagined.”

“It was definitely my pleasure,” you nodded happily, feeling his hands glide down your sides.

“Was?” He protested playfully. “The night is still young, sweetheart!” He threw your legs over his shoulder causing you to exclaim at the sudden move. He placed a kiss on each of your thighs and lined himself up with your entrance before entering you once again.

“FUCK” you cried out at the sudden intrusion, feeling your eyes well up with tears of pleasure in record time.

Dean pulled out and slammed into you once again, his grip on your legs tightening as he eased into a quick pace.

“YES-Dean holy shit,” you moaned, eyes quickly rolling to the back of your head and back arching up and off the bed as he fucked you with reckless abandon.

“How’s it feeling baby?” Dean said, bringing a hand down to play with your clit.

“So good, Dean, so fucking good,” you rambled, your skin buzzing with pleasure, “Harder, please, I'm almost there,” you found yourself begging.

“You gonna cum for me already pretty girl?” He sped up his slaughter on your cunt, "Maybe I should make you beg for it?" his voice was low and demeaning but only spurred you on more.

You shook your head adamantly while your hands fumbled around Dean's waist for a solid grip. So he simply released your legs and grabbed your hands before holding them down above your head, driving his cock into you even harder at this new angle.

“Dean!" you broke off into a strangled moan.

Dean’s lips attacked your open neck. “I wish we had neighbors so they could hear you screaming my fucking name,” he all but growled as the sounds of your moans and skin against skin plagued the air.

You came with a yell seconds later, your release coating Dean’s cock and the sheets. “That’s my girl. There you go baby,” he released your hands and held your face, guiding you down from your high.

Your hands gripped Dean’s hair harshly as you kissed his lips and his hips stuttered, his cum coating your insides soon after. You swallowed his grunts as his cock continued to leak and twitch inside you.

Broken pants befell both your lips in between sloppy kisses while your orgasms passed and your shared spend flowed between your legs. You eventually released his lips for air, “That was-“

“-Incredible,” he mirrored your thoughts, removing your hat from his head. Dean used a hand to remove your mask and brush a few strands of hair behind your ears once he moved to lie down beside you.

“Hi,” you grinned in awe of the man you called your husband. “Hey sweetness,” he grinned back, adoration evident in his deep green eyes.

Your cheeks flushed as he pressed a kiss against your forehead. He quickly grabbed his previously discarded t-shirt and used it to clean up the mess between your legs before throwing it in the laundry basket nearby.

You snuggled into his side once he returned to the bed.

“So uhh what was it you were saying about your cowboy kink?” Dean smugly asked after a few seconds.

“Goddamnit Dean,” you shamefully groaned into his side, gaining a chuckle from him.

ANDDD SCENE!

Hope it wasn't too bad seeing as I gave up on editing it like 75% through it.

Tbh I highly doubt more than 20 people are gonna see this because I have no idea how strong the Supernatural fandom's presence is on here, which also means that I don't know if anyone has used a plot like this one before so don't be afraid to let me know if that is the case and I will make changes as I see fit!

(Also let me know if you want a sequel one shot with sexycowboy! Dean and reader. Or feel free to make any other requests)

Reblogs, likes, and comments are ALWAYS appreciated :)

divider creds : @cafekitsune

#smut #oneshot #supernatural #dean winchester smut #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester #dean x reader #jensen ackles #jensen x reader #spn smut #spnfandom #spn #supernatural smut #supernatural one shot #fluff #jensen ackles x you #imagine #supernatural imagine #spn fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Friday everyone! Doing today cause I shall be doing 5x01 On Sunday like I mentioned before to not be posting on Christmas. :) Holy crap we’re on the S4 finale. I remember when I watching it when it premiered thinking is this real life? Thought I was in a fever dream haha Made some long gifs to fit everything in LOL This one is super packed also this ep doesn’t need much more of an intro. So let’s get this party started.

4x22 Day in The Hole

Our fav patch work family gets the cold open. This moment truly is Tim and Lucy in mom/dad mode. Makes me so damn happy. Tim complaining because Tamara is late to meet them. Moaning on and on saying they have to go... but makes no effort to actually move or leave. Because the both of them have Tim wrapped around their finger. That man isn't moving but will complain the whole time about it LOL Lucy going into wifey mode calming him down saying she’ll be here. Relax. ha

Tamara pulls in and almost hits someone. In a police station parking lot... Their reactions I’m dying. Just a couple of concerned parents watching their kid almost cause an accident. Lucy is a proud mom as she pulls up. Clapping her hands. Tim looking like the stern father. He glares at the car wanting to see if this car is safe enough for her. This is a glimpse into them as parents. I’m liking what I see. Also can I say how cute it is Lucy wants Tim to look at her car in first place. Of course he said yes.

Tamara comes out and says isn’t she pretty? Saying it’s her first car. Lucy correcting her saying actually her car was her first. Tamara makes a joke about it being her fifth if they’re talking stolen. Tim has such a dad moment. ‘What?’ She loves to push their buttons it’s hilarious. Telling Tim it's a joke. Just loves messing with her pseudo mom and dad. Lives for it really. This is a fantastic way to start this episode off.

The family energy in this scene giving me all the feels. Lucy telling her to get it checked by the mechanic first. That you never know what cars from seized police auction go through. Tamara says Tim set her up with his guy already. Lucy is beaming about this. Says ‘Awww you do have a heart.’ ha Tim can't be seen as soft so he deflects.

But you are soft for both your girls Tim…This much is obvious ha You're a soft little puppy for them. I mean it's only for them but a marshmallow none the less. His reply is sassy af. Saying it’s purely out of self interest. He didn’t want to deal with Lucy being a drag with her dying in a mangled fireball of metal on the 405. The scoff/look Tamara shoots his way is hilarious. Tim fires back ‘Joke.’

Like Father like daughter and I’m dying with the cuteness in this cold open. Also Tim mirroring her posture from when she said 'Joke' to him. LMAO Unfortunately a drug sniffing dog starts barking at the car. Tim opens the hatch back and searches it. Find kilos of drugs hidden in the compartment. Tamara looks so sad. ‘I’m not getting my car back am I?’ Hahaha Sorry my dear you are definitely not…

Lucy looks up who the car is registered to. It's ‘Jake Butler.’ Lucy pulls up his mug shot and is confused as hell. Ahhhh the beginning of Dim it’s glorious. They pick up his doppelgänger and it's pretty amusing. Didn’t have room for that portion but his ‘Yo, why you looking like me?’ LOL Kills me. They get him into interrogation and the girls are having a field day with it. Enjoying Tim's discomfort so very much. Tim isn’t about this whatsoever of course.

Lucy says maybe they were separated at birth? Tim replies he’s a year older than him and was born in FL. You can see how unsettling he finds this. Tim tries to brush this off. Saying he doesn’t look that much like him. Ok honey… Angela saying he’s not the brightest bulb. Lucy gets excited and says ‘Tim and Dim’ LMAO Enjoying herself far too much with this. Angela and Nyla are joining in on it laughing with her. They aren't helping tamp down her excitement about this at all.

Tim calling Jake 'Dim' is hilarious. Lucy's face when he does is too cute. Also It cracks me up the minute they enter interrogation Dim hits on Lucy. Doesn't waste any time. I’m dying. Also you know Melissa and Eric had a blast filming these scenes. They’re so funny. The cockiness on Dim saying she would remember ha! Man isn’t lacking in the confidence department that's for sure. They tell him they found his car. He gets all excited saying someone stole it LOL

They inform him it was towed cause he parked by a hydrant haha Tim confronts him about the drugs in the car and Dim denies having it. Because of course he does. His fingerprints are all over the bags. Tim says he helps them and they’ll keep him out of prison. Dim gets offended and says he thought they had a bond ha.

Lucy asks where the drugs came from? He tells them Mexico that he was supposed to drive them over the border. But then he wanted to see his girl first before he dropped them off. I.e. Juicy heh When he came back out the car was gone. Tim asks for the name of the guy they were going to. He tells them Ray Hajek. Lucy gets a look in her eye and asks if his crew ever met him? He tells them no but why? We watch Lucy light up and Tim is confused why she is so excited haha

It’s here we see Lucy’s excitement go into hyperdrive. I love this portion because she is like a kid in a candy store with this. The sugary high to go along with it LOL Grey and Angela are no help to Tim whatsoever. They are beyond amused by Lucy’s antics. Like to note how easily Tim gives into Lucy’s demands here btw. You're married you just don’t know it yet.

Once he agrees Lucy gets ultra hyper which has me cackling. I love how she stops him with her hands. Because she’s too excited to walk now. Saying all the things they need to do to get him to look like Dim. Tim pointing out she is enjoying this way too much. Duh. I love her excited speed walk to catch up to him and say he needs tattoos. Lucy was a little too excited for those tats heh She sure loves the idea of a clean cut Tim Bradford covered in tattoos.

We pan to Lucy being on the team watching Tim’s OP. Part of the rescue team if needed. Kinda nice to see her on the watching end instead of him. Being just as much the worried wifey as he is the husband for her when she does UC. He gets taken up to the boss and does a damn good job of it. They’re pissed at him first because he disappeared with their drugs. Tim saying he went to ground because he didn’t want to get caught. Trying to avoid jamming him up.

He then asks why Wisco his heavy shouldn’t throw him over the balcony? We watch Lucy and Angela tense up. Tim has this handled with his reply above though. He is shocked with his intelligent reply. Saying he heard he was dumb. Tim continues on saying he wants people to think he’s dumb. Means they underestimate him.

That answer is enough for him. Tell Tim get his cash on way out. Or he could do another job for him and triple it. Tim asks what kind of job? He won’t divulge that portion just yet. Only that it’s heavy and tomorrow. They’ll need a driver. They heard his old lady is fast. Tim makes a crack 'Sometimes too fast.' He laughs and tells him they’ll be in touch with him.

Angela catches Lucy and tells her she had Dim’s GF picked up. Lucy is like 'Ok…Wait why are you being weird?' Angela says she needs to see for herself. She is enjoying this far too much. It’s Juicy! Haha Having AU Tim and Lucy makes my soul happy ahahah Now Tim is the one enjoying himself. Lucy is in shock when she sees her doppelgänger. Angela adding in ‘I guess we know who’s going undercover with Dim.’

Tim’s taunting is funny I’m rolling. ‘Yeah Juicy.’ ‘No’ ‘Mmhmm It’s Juicy’ LOL I’m dying this is so hilarious. Not so funny when it’s your double eh Lucy? Also you know Angela was enjoying this way too much as well. Lucy’s ‘I don’t like that…’ cracks me up. She is so disturbed by having her own double. She was having fun before and now she doesn't like it. Also probably stirring some stuff up there is an AU version of them out there. Not only that but they're together.

We’ve arrived at THE scene for the episode. Tim is over at Lucy’s for OP prep. Saying the backstory has to be airtight. Lucy agrees with him and asks how they met? Tim's answer of a BBQ is vanilla as it gets. This is why she’s the UC babe LOL Lucy telling him that’s lame. I love her just being so upfront with him. She always is but there is a confidence here I love. This is her wheelhouse and Tim is just along for the ride. This is her show really and she proves that in this scene.

Tim is such a stubborn turd saying ‘You think you can do better?’ Oh Timothy you’re about to have your mind blown and your brain broken…She starts out strong saying ‘Watch me.’ Lucy rubs her hands together. Saying they met because he was on the run from the cops. Tim nodding along but not totally sold yet. Lucy continues on with he ended up in her building frantic.Looking for a place to hide.

That she was the one who opened up the door for him. That she lied to the cops for him. It's here we see Tim starts to be impressed with her backstory. That sweet smirk of his in the second gif. You know he is in awe of her right now. That smirk and head tilt is a dead giveaway. Look at how soft he looks gazing at her. Fooling no one sir.

Lucy’s confidence continues as she finishes up their backstory. It's the smug smile and direct eye contact she gives him as she delivers that line above that gets me. I watch this scene and I’m still in shock we got it. That Lucy is talking about their alter egos hooking up while the cops search for him. Thus his brain malfunctioning. Tim’s reaction is glorious. It will always make me laugh no matter how many times I see it.

Kudos to Eric for crushing it like he always does. Lucy short circuited his brain and it shows. He is having an repeated error message and failing to reboot. You can tell he’s trying to hide the fact she turned him on a little. She achieved this with her confidence through out the story and just blowing his mind right at the end. The man will never recover. He is legit speechless.

Tim was not expecting her to go there at all. She floored him while simultaneously turning him on LOL His professional brain came to a screeching halt when she finished. Also I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be turned on by just her words either. His body was not ready for such things. Good thing he’s sitting cause I’m sure his pants just got a little tighter….

Tim then remembers he has to reply to her plan now haha Trying to gain his wits about him. Telling her ‘Ok….that..that's pretty good actually.’ Pretty good? She just blew your backstory out of the water. Then proceeded to make your brain stop working. You know he’s a mixture of turned on and impressed as hell with her. Won’t say so but his face said it all for us didn’t it? He legit had his jaw drop like a cartoon hahaha

Tim is seeing she truly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to UC holy crap. She is also basking in the fact that she crushed his plan with her own, made him speechless, and then got a compliment out of him. Lucy is feeling pretty proud of herself when she says 'Thank you.' I love seeing this confidence on her. It's a good look. Just like I'll never over Tim's growth same goes for her. To see the confident bad ass woman she is now. How far she's come. I love it seeing it.

Once Tim has some semblance of a brain back he mentions the elephant in the room. That if they’re gonna sell they're together. They’re gonna have to...You know…. Lucy knowing exactly what he’s talking about but giving him a hard time. Trying to get him to say the words. Pretending like she has no idea what he’s talking about. He continues to get flustered and stammers around. Poor Tim. He struggles with his words and stutters. He’s shocked she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Lucy is enjoying herself far too much. Look at her face. Letting him dangle and trip over his words. Knowing talking about this is making him so very uncomfortable LOL So mean to do to your soulmate Lucy ha She finally throws him a lifeline and says we might have to PDA? Tim gets frustrated she strung him along and says never mind. Lucy stops him and says he’s right. If they’re going to kiss it shouldn’t be for the first time.

Then the awkwardness that is them pre-kiss ensues. They’re not sure what to do now…So Lucy suggests they stand up. No one does awkward better than these two. They’re so out of their depth right now. It's hysterical. I love a nervous Lucy Chen she is beyond adorable right here. The way Tim starts to lean in and she bails LOL Saying ‘No’ with a nervous giggle ejecting far away from him I’m rolling.

She totally chickens out at first and I don’t blame her. After last episode I'm sure her emotions are going haywire in this moment. Being shy because she already knows of the feelings there. That this was going to bring them out even more. Tim is about to find out himself what this kiss will reveal. Tim is exasperated and not understanding what’s going on here.

He's got a let's do this and get it over with attitude. The thing is Tim is nervous too. Look at him in that first gif. Takes a deep cleansing breath before trying to give her a kiss. He is just as nervous as she is. One thing to banter and flirt with your partner. It's another to kiss them. They’re both buzzing with nerves and it’s adorable af. Hats off to Eric and Melissa in this scene. I can feel all their anxiety and giddiness in this moment. They do an amazing job in this portion.

Tim get frustrated again and says ‘Oh, you know what? We’re professionals. Let’s just get this over with.’ Lucy’s reaction is the best part LOL Telling him 'Whoa! that’s romantic.' His childish reply of saying he wasn’t trying to be romantic LMAO OMG it’s a good thing you’re about to kiss. Because I wanna yell at them to kiss and get a room already.

Their banter is primo in this scene. Legendary really as is this entire scene. We talk about them being married a lot but never more so than before this kiss. Lucy telling him he’s succeeding and he replies with his pouty face. It’s all so hilarious to watch unfold. Lucy’s nervousness continues to shine through. Trying to reset herself as she psyches herself up to kiss him.

Tim never fails in making me laugh with his expressions and reactions. Telling her in an sarcastic tone to ‘Take her time...’ LOL Lucy trying to give herself a pep talk while Tim stands there exasperated af with her. He is so very done at this point. Just waiting her out at this point. Because he’s used to his wife antics. I love his annoyed deep sigh he let outs when she’s ready to rejoin him. The way he swings his arms in impatience lol

Tim finally leans in and gives her the most pitiful peck on the lips. He’s so proud of himself when he pulls back though. It’s pretty damn adorable if you ask me. He is expecting praise from his girl only to be demolished by her. Lucy was definitely expecting way more than what he just delivered. It's almost like she has to hold back a laugh at his lack luster attempt. Also that he thought he did a good job with it. Saying ‘I'm s...Sorry, is that it?' After all that build up just an innocent peck on the lips? Tim is so offended about her critique till she lays one on him. Effectively silencing him with a kiss. Also like to note how I love how this season started with an almost kiss and ends with an actual one. Lovely bookend.

I’ll never be over her cutting him off with her lips and grabbing him by the face. Pulling him forcefully towards her lips. *phew lord* Has his whole face in her hands while she has her way with him. I love how he stumbles into the kiss at first. If you watch him in the beginning of this gif you see him fall forward into the kiss. Wasn’t expecting that show of force from her. He needs a second to readjust his body into what’s now happening. Both of their frustrations with each other melting away once their lips touch. Takes them a moment to find their rhythm. Then it’s all about melding into one another. Fitting like the perfect puzzle pieces they low key always knew they were.

How Lucy’s right hand drops to his chest as she gets comfortable in this kiss. In his arms. Doing what comes naturally while in them. She keeps her left hand firmly on his face though. Keeping those beautiful lips of his directed at her. We watch Tim start to melt into Lucy as well. See how his body begins to relax against hers. His hand has made it's way up to her shoulder. Had this continued I have no doubt they would've swapped places from where they started. His hands continuing their journey upwards. Tim encasing her face in his hands as he continued to kiss her as if his life depended on it.

We see them start to get lost in their kiss. That argument of their's a moment ago is long forgotten. It’s such a sexy first kiss sweet lord. Tim has quickly adjusted from the beginning of the kiss. He's eased into it now and is ready to go for more. We saw him begin startled then quickly relax into her as the kiss goes on. Seems so natural like they've done this before. Reminds me of Chandler and Monica. When Joey/Rachel ask Chandler what he felt when he and Monica kissed after being friends for so long? Telling them felt like 'Why haven't we been doing this the entire time?' This kiss represents that line IMO.

Look at the way he is melting into her as he looks to deepens that kiss. He’s attached to her upper lip. We can see a little tongue too. Don't think I didn't see you slip that in Timothy heh. He is ready to take this further when their pseudo daughter walks in….I love it being Tim who deepened that kiss. Making that all important first move once again. Lucy wasn’t complaining one bit btw. Cracks me up how Tamara's first solution is to go. Let them have more time alone. I'm sure she's thought of them getting together before.

She doesn't seem terribly shocked by this so much as incredibly amused. How could she not with how they are? Then the awkward hilarity begins. I’ll never be over Lucy’s ‘Oh!’ As they fly apart from each other. Both trying to put a continent between them. It’s so damn funny. Went from hot and heavy to insanely embarrassed. The music stopping abruptly as well. Never fails to make me laugh my ass off. There is so much to love after the kiss as there is with it.

The way they scramble to explain why they were making out is priceless. Stumbling over their words and each other. Lucy trying to explain that this is 'Work' Uh huh. Sure let's call it that. Tim adding on they're going UC. Tamara is bemused to say the least. Telling them they don't have to explain themselves to her. Tim then starts looking desperately for items he didn’t bring LOL Then realizing he has nothing to gather up.

'You know what? No. I didn't bring anything...' LMFAO Flustered Tim Bradford is a joy to watch. Lucy already broke his brain earlier and then destroyed it with that kiss. You know he’s in love because that man doesn’t get flustered easily. He legit doesn’t know what to do with himself. Other than awkwardly retreat from Lucy. He is shook and it’s showing big time.

I love that he’s a complete disaster just from kissing Lucy. This entire scene is iconic and makes me so happy to watch. They awkwardly point at one another. For what reason I couldn't tell you. Other than they don't know what to do with themselves right now. The height of nervous awkwardness has arrived and I’m joyful Haha They’re both so embarrassed and flustered it’s glorious.

Lucy is flaming red after she tells Tim 'G...Good work tonight'. She is mortified she just said that to him after they made out. Tim replies in kind because he is also nervously awkward as he leaves. She can’t even look at him as he makes his hasty exit. Her back is turned to him as he departs and does another dorky finger point. Saying bye to Tamara as he does. Lucy's facial expressions are legit killing me. She then she turns around to face Tamara and it only gets worse.

Lucy has no idea what to say to being caught making out with Tim. Tamara's face in that second gif is hilarious. It's like she's giving Lucy a chance to explain herself further. Wanting to see what she'll come up with. She notices Lucy isn't in the right state of mind for answers. So Tamara saves her further embarrassment and says she’s headed to her room…Bless you. Your pseudo mother needed that LOL

We join Tim in the hallway post all of that mess haha. I once again must commend Eric and his wonderful expressions. He conveys so very much in this moment. It’s the range of emotions he expresses that is so impressive. He just nails it. This is the moment where Tim realizes his feelings for Lucy. Yes she short circuited his brain 100 percent here. But there is far more to this expression than that.

4x21 was Lucy’s epiphany episode. This is Tim’s 'Oh shit I’m in love with Lucy' moment. It’s like he finally has the answer to why he’s always felt the way he’s felt. Why he fought so hard for her not to wash out. Why he said and did things he didn’t totally understand for her. Explaining why he was so protective with her in UC. Why he was ALWAYS happier around her. Just like Lucy it’s hitting him like freight train. His feelings coming sharply into focus.

He goes from broken brain, to realization he’s in love with her, to oh shit I’m in love with my best friend...what am I going to do? The way his eye bug out a little as he comes to this conclusion is everything. That kiss cleared the skies in his brain. He can see clearly now and it scaring him a little. Everything was muddled before and now it’s clear as day. He looks back at her door before he is able to unroot himself from that spot. Tim Bradford is in love with Lucy Chen and it’s just hitting him ❤️

The awkward cuteness continues the next day. Tim is sitting in his truck with his thoughts. Probably having an existential crisis in the process tbh. I bet you he didn't sleep a wink last night either. Probably trapped in his thoughts the entire time. Also he is clearly just waiting for Lucy to appear. Which is pretty damn adorable.

He perks right up when she arrives. Makes me heart so happy actually. Giving me all the feels. He is so adorable waiting on the girl he loves so he can talk to her. They’re both so smitten at this point my heart is gonna implode. She spots him waiting in his truck. Then does her adorkable wave at him when he notices her looking at him. It's so cute I cannot. They’re both so nervous it’s beyond precious.

First off love them matching in colors. I feel this was intentional both being in light blue. Once they reach each other the air is rife with unresolved tension. They cut each other off both wanting to speak. Lucy tells him to go first. You can see Tim desperately wants to clear the air. Be vulnerable about the kiss. We see the hope on Lucy’s face as he struggles to find the words. That he is going to say that kiss unlocked something, that it was more than just a practice kiss etc.

That does seem where he is headed when he started this convo. Then our boy loses his nerve completely. Says they should work more on their backstory …You can see the sheer disappointment on Lucy’s face that he said that instead. Probably wishing she had gone first and not him. It’s ok Tim you’ll gain the courage in 5x08 don’t worry. My little awko tacos. How I love thee.

Phew lord that was daunting to write about and tackle haha The sheer volume of gifs out there for this one are immense. But damn I love their slow burn so very much and adore writing about it. Can’t believe we’re done with s4 what a trip.

~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Nolan had a SL but meh.

The only parts worth mentioning are Nell/Elroy being adorable. And how hilarious it was Pete slept through the entire fight scene for Bailey LOL

Thank you to all the readers been with me on this especially those from the very start. You know who you are :) Your likes, comments and reblogs have been a bright spot in my day shall see you all in S5 woo.

#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiarus #waiting on s6 #winter rewatch #s4 #4x22 Day In The Hole #the rookie 4x22 #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well. #otp: some things matter more. #otp: you did good #otp: you're nothing like him #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #the rookie #tim bradford x lucy chen

[geodaio]

first post and its moon knight stim hcs??? first post and its moon knight stim hcs.

ive literally been spinning these in my head for wayyyy too long, theyre half based on the show and half straight up just my hcs which are based on some of my own stims and i needed to share them SO:

Steven

it is literally canon that steven fiddles with his hands and sleeves, doing things like wringing his hands back and forth and just generally having a lot of little hands stims (i literally have reblogged gifs of his hand stims before)

i think he also fiddles with and runs his hands over different things, like different fabrics, to feel the texture of it (which is partially canon due to the scene in the Duat where hes running his hand over the pile of towels)

he also rubs the bottom of his sleeves and his shirts in-between his fingers to feel it! idk i just think hes a very texture stim sort of guy i think he loves feeling textures

pressure stims!!!!! he literally has this recurring motion that he does in the show where he holds his hands to his chest and i think he likes pressing down in a sort of half-hug motion to himself! i also think he sort of rubs over his heart when he does this sometimes

FIDGET TOY KING!!!! LITERALLY CANON!!!!! I think he has just more than the rubiks cube, i feel like he has other sorts of stim puzzles, maybe a fidget cube, things like that (i also think he would get really attached to those articulated stim toys that look like animals)

he would probably also make a lot of stim toys out of different objects, if you give him pretty much any object he will find a way to stim with it somehow

i feel like he definitely rocks back and forth, but it isn't very intense a lot of the time? it is more of a gentle sway, but he does it very often, especially when hes just standing still waiting for something

absolutely 100% a hand flapper, specifically up and down because he doesn't like the way that his fingers hit each other when he flaps his hands left to right

Jake

SOUND STIMS SOUND STIMS i think jake is such a sound stims guy

hes definitely big on whistling and humming, and makes a lot of little clicking and popping sounds with his mouth

he clicks his fingers a lot as well and moves his hand around while he does it so that the sound hits his ears in different ways (like a bat yknow? echolocation and all that)

loves to crack his knuckles for the sound and the feel, but has to shake his hands out a bit afterwards usually because they feel weird sometimes

he definitely has a stim where he taps the backs of his one hand with his other hand when hes wearing his gloves, because he loves the sound that his gloves make tapping against each other

he used to have a stim where he would drag his toe across the ground in shoes to make his leg bounce but then he would have to buy new shoes cause the toes would wear out so he does it less now

instead he rubs his shoes, specifically the toes, back and forth on the ground, specifically if hes sitting down and happens to have both of his feet on the floor

CHEWS ON FUCKING EVERYTHING if it can be chewed on, even if it shouldnt be chewed on, i guarentee he is chewing on it. i mean pencils i mean pencaps i mean zipper pulls i mean Anything-

he usually tries to have something edible to chew on at all times with him, usually some sort of hard candy, and he also has a chewing necklace that he wears a lot at the flat, and sometimes under his jacket if he feels like he'll need it when hes out and about

Marc

i feel like marc has a lot more subtle stims (hello masking!), unless hes around people he trusts

he definitely has a chewing stim, but specifically softer things like fabric and soft chewing necklaces

he bites on the edges of his sleeves when he is at the flat, specifically when he is thinking, or blankets and pillows if hes overwhelmed

if he not at the flat he usually just grinds his teeth if he has the need to chew on something, he constantly has jaw aches because of it

he rubs his hands and his knuckles over his thighs a lot and taps his fingers on his legs

i definitely think he clenches his fists over and over again before stretching his hands out like he wants to flap his hands but is too tense, especially in public

when he starts to unmask more he definitely does a lot of hand flapping mixed in with gesturing as he talks

he also cracks his knuckles and his wrists out repeatedly both for the sound and the feeling of it, he does it a lot when hes out of the flat

he also has a stim where he rolls his shoulders back and stretches out his neck? he isn't quite sure if it really is a stim but he does it for the same reasons that he does all of his other stims so it counts

i also think he rocks up onto the balls of his feet a lot and back down, mixed with a bit of rocking? this feels like one that he only really does when hes comfortable with who hes with

JUMPING!!!!!! THIS IS LITERALLY CANON!!!! he jumps up and down and tucks his legs up when he does to get more height and i think that he does it when hes really excited about something

#moon knight #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant #moon knight system #autistic marc spector #autistic steven grant #autistic jake lockley #autistic moon knight system #moon knight hcs #this literally took me multiple months to complete and post because i kept changing things and thinking of new things LMAOOOOO #and i kept getting stuck on marc for some reason??? #because i genuinely. cannot remember what it was like to mask despite only starting to unmask recently #but anyways are a lot of these projection? yes. #yes they are. #theo’s ramblings

[justanotherblogger]

JUST WATCHED EPISODES 7 AND 8 AND UNHOLY SH-

Look at all that Alastor LORE!!!!!

I AM SO EXCITED YOU DONT EVEN KNOW PEOPLE. WE HAVE BEEN FED WELL.

I also want to say that I was so freaking right in my first ramble about Alastor. Almost everything but his human life was freaking given to me in these episodes! I am very happy. Previous Ramble

*Ahem* Now, this is just a small analysis of Alastor scenes from both episodes, and I'll probably post my theories and stuff about it in a seperate post! I am currently frothing at the mouth. Obvious spoilers ahead!

Ok, so the first thing I saw was how Alastor jumped at the opportunity to go up to talk personally with Charlie.

Episode 7 thoughts:

I tried to steer away from sneak peak and spoilers, but I did get bombarded with little gifs of Alastor kicking his feet on Charlie's bed. Ruined the freaking surprise.

Anyways, Alastor obviously seemed to coerce Charlie into feeling rushed to a decision, which was obviously a deal with him.

I didn't expect him not to go for Charlie's soul. I saw so many people theorizing that was why he was at the hotel in the first place, and everything that lead up to Alistor finally making a deal throughout the other episodes, was a favor. A favor that didn't involve harm, no less.

This is still something very big, especially a favor from a princess of hell. I think the favor he needs eventually might be to help him break free of his leash, or to help protect him when he finally does in case things go south afterwards. Or maybe it could be a favor to somehow see how his mother is doing, the first much more dramatic, but I'd be happy with either.

Now there's Alastors demon form during the deal. Unholy cow, there's a lot to unpack. The first thing I noticed was Alastors FULLY STICTED smile. Like, entirely across. This could just be his true demonic from, or someone else did this to him to keep him smiling. From slipping up in his forced persona.

We also see how he can't stop smiling, even when by himself, drained of power, and hurt in his destroyed radio tower after the sngel attack. He rants and seemingly has a breakdown, but keeps smiling.

This could be how, like I said in my previous ramble, he uses his smile as a shield and as a defense for himself, like he stated to Charlie during the deal scene. Or, it's permanently there because it's just what he got stuck with in hell, or someone wanted to keep him smiling.

Speaking of which, the color is what's bothering me. There isn't much green in the pride ring other than Alastor himself. Almost every attack he's thrown has had green in it, with the crazy floating symbols, his explosions, and his void he controls has a bit of green. He can also invert colors. Why is that, when everything about him is red and black, matching the pride ring, his stitches and powers are green, like someone else's power.

There's also stitching all over his clothing, maybe as symbolism to keeping the persona up that the person who has his leash has made for him to play at the hotel.

Moving on to cannibal town, I adore Alastor and Rosie together. They bounce off each other well and just seem like real good friends. Love their dynamic! (Also, WOOOOOH! Canon Ace Alastor! Well, from Rosie. STILL THO! I am so happy, from a fellow asexual)

I was kind of sad when I realized Alastor could speak without his radio in hand when Charlie went singing with it as Alastor advertised the Executioner meat awaiting all the cannibals, with Charlie still holding the microphone. Would've been some entertaining stuff if he couldn't talk without it.

I don't really have much else to say about cannibal town, other than the Alastor comment near the end where it seems he's considering manipulating her to keep her on his side, to keep him on the winning one.

Now, episode 8.

This episode was a lot. In a good way, but still a lot.

Before the exterminators, everyone in the main cast was drinking, relaxing, and saying possible final goodbyes. Not Alastor. He was up on the balcony, watching the scene unfold.

They talk about how they enjoy the main casts company, and Alastor feels a bit sentimental as he admits he could get accustomed. Focus on the could part of that. He seems to imply he can't stay or things can't stay this way for long. Is it because of the reason he's at the hotel?

I do love Nifty and Alastor interactions. I wonder why they're so close compared to everyone else's relationship with Alastor in the main cast. Could they both be under the same leash, leaving some sympathy forbthe other? Or maybe Alastor just likes to see that gremlins shenanigans.

Now to the actual battle, Alstor was freaking peak at the beginning! His shield literally blocked off all angel interactions from the outside to keep the troops away, and it didn't even seem to tire out Alastor in the slightest!

The thing with him controlling those void tentacles to hold angelic weapons to kill the outsiders trying to break through is also just so cool to see because of Alastors ingenuity.

It took a strike from Adam just to break it, and I feel that's an accomplishment. For Adam to do something himself that all the other angels can't I feel is impressive, because he's not the head of the angelic army for no reason. I doubt heaven is that stupid to give a f-boy full control over the troops with no talent or experience to plan or lead them, at least.

Now for the Adam vs Alastor battle.

This had me at the edge of my seat, begging for Alastor not to be the one to be killed off this season.

I knew Alastor wasn't going to win, but he did have a good start. It seemed like he was toying and not taking this seriously, with full confidence in his abilities.

But that was until Adam finally got serious again, and broke his radio staff. His metaphorical (maybe literal based on his reaction) wall of defense.

This had me shook, as I saw my boy get beat in a couple of seconds. The radio staff was probably the source of at least a bit of his power from this person holding his leash, as he was worried enough about it to curse with no static in his voice during mid battle, leaving himself wide open. Or maybe this was just one of the times Alastor slipped up. It could also be the reason why he only used shadows, one of his only not-green abilities.

He still could move and talk, and I doubt he could attack or summon anything after being DIRECTLY HIT, POINT BLANK, WITH AN ANGELIC WEAPON, FROM PROBABLY ONE OF THE STRONGEST ANGELS IN THAT FREAKING EXTERMINATION, WHILE FREAKING SURVIVING AND GETTING BETTER THROUGHOUT JUST A COUPLE OF HOURS AT MOST.

(Also, shut up Vox. I know you freaking have the hate/obsession going on with the guy, but he probably lasted better than you could have, especially since you would've most likely been wire spaghetti after that hit from Adam)

I just realized that when rewatching, as before, I was just focusing on hoping he wouldn't be the one to die. But how did he survive that, and get pretty much better as soon as he got back to the radio tower? Maybe radio waves heal him, or he just has crazy recovery speed.

Now to the long awaited radio tower scene. I was hoping he would've gotten his own song by now, but maybe that shows how he needs someone else's push to be able to push on his own, like both his duets in the previous episodes.

Maybe we'll get an emotional song from him in the future. Crossing my fingers for that and a S2 as soon as possible!

Now the actual scene got me thinking. How Alastor is DEFINITELY under someone's control, as he also explicitly states it was a deal. Most likely for his soul, considering his want for freedom and to be able to do his own thing again.

I did see how Alastor was so desperate in his song snip about how he needs to find a way out of this deal he has made, with some of the most raw expressions we've seen of him to date.

But something did strike me. That on line from his song.

That's a bit of weird wording there Viv. Like, I know this is like an implication for his freedom, but imagine Alastor was a fallen angle or heavenly deity of some kind, like how the Cherubs got banished from heaven in Helluva Boss. Might explain how he didn't immediately die from Adams attack. (As you can see, I'm a bit delusional. But imagine if I was right tho)

But do imagine though, what this might imply for Alastor. How maybe the leash is holding something more than just his freedom, maybe how Alastor might've been even more powerful than he is right now, with the holder keeping some of his original raw power from his grasp, making him rely on their green power to survive and stay at the top.

The green light surrounding him with the line about him pulling the strings might also be how Alastor might want to take his holder's place, how when he's finally free from them he'll finally be able to take over that green with his own power, with his shadow.

I'm still wondering if Alastor is hiding side affects or pain from getting a beat down courtesy of Adam at the end there, as he seemed to take the most damage out of everyone while staying 'alive'.

Anyways, I need to wake up early tomorrow, and writing this in the middle of the night as it struck won't be pleasant for future me, but at least I could get all my thoughts together.

I am still obsessed with this deer man, if you couldn't tell already. I am so tired. If you saw any typos, no, you actually didn't.

#hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel theory #I am still obsessed with this guy. #asexual #asexual alastor #hellaverse #hazbin #hazbin hotel thoughts

[ineffable-baker-street]

Metatron's Evil Plan

Starting with Gabriel's trial. Metatron said, "No speeches Gabriel you're not going to Hell.

He then adds "which there isn't."

It would obviously be an issue if Heaven were to be viewed as problematic and out of control, with fallen angels left, right and centre. So they tried to manage Gabriel, make it so he just faded from his place of power, but he outsmarted them. And suddenly there were two former high-up's down on earth, and we all saw just how desperate they were to get Gabriel back. It's clearly A Concern.

So unfortunately Gabriel has escaped from their clutches, with a Prince of Hell no less.

Very much not a good look. So Heaven needs to act and it needs to be now. Mere minutes after Gabriel and Beelzebub leave together, Metatron is on earth.

Then he goes to the coffee shop. He asks Nina, "Do people ever ask for Death?" and the subtitles were capitalised which I do think further supports my point. We already know that seeing Death is a bad omen, since at the end of Season One right after they saw him they were both dragged away to their would-be permanent discorporations.

There is also something to be said for the mirroring of the first season and second season. I've seen theories, as well as noticed myself that many things line up. I can't find the post that laid a lot of things out but here's a few that I've noticed.

The mention of Death in the final episode, right before something bad happens (they both get taken to be punished/Aziraphale leaves Earth.)

Aziraphale and Crowley both holding someone's hands with the person in between them (Adam in S1E6 and Jimbriel in season 2, episode one or two i can't remember which)

The Nightingale reference. Pretty obvious, but ending the season on that song holds significance. I think most people have seen the theory that that's a message from Aziraphale, but I won't go into that here or this will never end.

The nightingales plus the plans to go to the Ritz being gone I think is definitely symbolic of the fact that they've lost something. Again, an obvious option, but it's an important place for them, so the fact they had similar plans, that were then interrupted, reflects Season One while also telling us that things are clearly not going to be good.

But then you also consider that it's perhaps exactly what the Metatron wanted all along, for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship of love and trust to completely fall away, symbolised by the hopes of dining at the Ritz disappearing.

Therefore I think a pretty reasonable conclusion from the mention of Death - and the parallels with last season - from someone as sinister as the Metatron is that something is going to happen to most likely both of them. Metatron is also almost surprised that people never ask for death, as it is "so predictable." There was definite intention in that scene, and makes me wonder if he thinks whatever he's trying to make happen will make them wish for death?

This next point is a big one. At first you might think its coincidental but if you go back and watch the scene I think you'll be convinced. When the Metatron enters the bookshop, the lamps with the candle looking bulbs and the glass decorations jingle and move. I can't find a good GIF to show it but if you rewatch I promise you'll notice it. And yes, since the door has just closed and there's potential wind they might move for a few seconds, but they continue moving the entire time Metatron is in the bookshop. This scene goes on for approximately 2.5 - 3 minutes, definitely too long for them to be moving. But, I suppose you never know, could be coincidental. Until he leaves the shop with Aziraphale. They move more vigorously on his way out, but by the time (about three seconds) Crowley walks towards the window to watch them go, they've completely stopped moving. Not a coincidence. Metatron has some sort of energy that's powerful, or influential enough, that it cause material objects to move vigorously when he's near them. They didn't even move nearly as much when literal demons entered the shop, at the beginning of episode six.

Considering the fact that those lamps were completely conjured by Aziraphale for his ball, I have a strong suspicion he's particularly influential over magical objects... or magical things (entities) in general. (This is important later)

Metatron also says, "just you and me, Aziraphale, eh?" which is honestly something that sounds more like enemies facing off in a battle, than friends going out for a chat. It's like when a murderer is alone with their victim, and while Az and Metatron are talking there are no witnesses. I definitely think this is foreshadowing for next season when Aziraphale has to face off with the Metatron.

When they're leaving the shop the Metatron is all lovely smiles while Aziraphale is looking, and he seems a bit like a harmless old man, but as soon as Azi's back is turned he gives Crowley the most hateful, sinister, conniving glare, with [tense music playing] according to the subtitles and also my ears. He is up to something. This is a very strong piece of evidence that the Metatron Does Not Like Crowley.

He tells Aziraphale, "you are just the angel for the job." It could be an ordinary thing to say, but no I don't think so. I think the Metatron has been carefully considering this for quite some time, and I think this is all about Crowley. He says there are "huge plans afoot, enormous projects," and he's so careful to be extremely vague, while talking Aziraphale up. Then he uses a tactic knows will work, which is playing with Aziraphale's heart and using Crowley.

"I've been looking back over a number of your previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a de facto partnership with the demon Crowley."

He has done meticulous research, and it's made clear earlier that he hates Crowley. But, he knows that Aziraphale loves Crowley, and that he wouldnt be able to resist the chance to try and do what he thinks is the right thing. Metatron mentioned that he was a 'Prince of Heaven' and that it could be seen as an 'institutional problem'. Well Heaven can't really been seen to have problems can it? And Crowley has been doing whatever he pleases for six thousand years, not on the side of Heaven or Hell, and I think that they're sick of it. He's already 'corrupted' one angel, who knows what's next? They don't want someone to hold that kind of knowledge and power over them, and Crowley holds a far greater knowledge of earth than any of the rest of them do.

And so the Metatron offers Aziraphale something he knows he won't refuse:

And I have to ask, why, why would he ever have Crowley reinstated to "full angelic status?" Two seconds ago he just described him as a demon?? The answer is that he wouldn't. Somehow I don't think heaven makes a habit of restoring fallen angels. He has a master plan, and that involves getting to Crowley, which means getting Aziraphale out of the way. Eventually I think they'll attempt to use them against each other, but the first thing for them to do was gain some control over Crowley. The Metatron had offered for Crowley to come to Heaven, which does of course provide easy access to him and if Crowley had chosen to do that it probably would've worked for them. But I think the Metatron was counting on Crowley not wanting to go back, and that Aziraphale suggesting it would even drive a wedge through their relationship (which it did).

And now Aziraphale is off somewhere busy working, they aren't speaking to each other and Crowley is alone on earth, no one is going to notice if something happens to him or he goes missing.

Aziraphale also really isn't that special to Heaven, he's just another angel, and one who doesn't always do as he's told, which begs the question of why Metatron would make a whole trip to earth, just to give him Gabriel's job. It could go to pretty much anyone honestly. So when Metatron says 'The Job,' I'm certain he does not mean taking over Gabriel's position. He means the job of getting demon Crowley back in order and control, so he stops causing problems for Heaven. Because wherever there's a problem, Crowley is at the centre of it.

Finally. Aziraphale's insane smile in the elevator.

DO YOU SEE HOW CREEPY THAT IS?? It's so off putting, and given he's just effectively broken up with Crowley you wouldn't expect him to be too cheerful. That is the least genuine smile I have ever seen, like it does not even look like Aziraphale anymore. At first I thought it was just him trying to make himself feel okay about everything, and it technically could be, but I'm not convinced of that. There's obviously the theory that Metatron put something in Aziraphale's coffee, but I just don't buy that (no hate to the theory ofc, definitely still a possibility). It's so simple, so human, and this brings me to my point about Metatron having influence over objects, particularly magical ones, and potentially entities as well. I think it is far more likely that Metatron is either brainwashing Aziraphale or simply has an element of control over him, but isn't entirely controlling him. Could be persuasive power, which he uses to influence Aziraphale, but technically if Az fought really hard he could fight him off. My mind influence theory is supported on multiple occassions, where Aziraphale seems to want to change his mind, or act a certain way, and then suddenly snaps back to acting like everything is okay. Examples of that are:

- Aziraphale straight up says he doesnt want to go to Heaven. He tries to play it off as a bit of a joke but he looked pretty damn serious when he says it. He looks so doubtful, but between then and speaking to Crowley, his attitude does a complete 180 flip

- "Well obviously you said no to Hell, you're the bad guys." Aziraphale would NEVER say that if his mind was completely his own. He has spent almost their entire existence saying that Crowley is nice and good and kind. He doesn't think for a moment that Crowley is grouped in with Hell anymore, but that's certainly what the Metatron would think

- Metatron walks in right after Crowley leaves and isn't at all surprised by the fact that Crowley refused, more evidence that it was what he'd hoped and planned for. "Ah well always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions too." Which is a tiny bit of further background into fallen angel Crowley.

- When Aziraphale is heavily considering changing his mind, Metatron keeps talking as though Aziraphale is saying different words. "It should be in safe hands." "Anything you need to take with you?" He's suddenly really pushing Aziraphale, even though he said there was no need to answer right away.

And that is all I have for you!! If anyone has anything to add I would LOVE to hear, this is my theory, definitely not the only possibility but I do think it's a candidate. Please let me know if there's any major points I've missed, I'm sure there probably is 🤍

@a-hearts-a-heavy-burden let me know what you think!!

#good omens #crowley and aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman #good omens meta #good omens theory #metatron #i hate the metatron

[wen-kexing-apologist]

SHADOW THE SERIES!!

ALRIGHT Y’ALL I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BINGED ALL SEVEN EPISODES OF SHADOW (2023) THAT HAVE CURRENTLY BEEN RELEASED AND MY BRAIN IS GOING A MILE A FUCKING MINUTE. I HAVE ABOUT 25 THEORIES ALL BOUNCING AROUND IN HERE, ALL OF WHICH ARE PROBABLY WRONG. 

Thank God for @so-much-yet-to-learn deciding not to watch this, meaning he can’t be spoiled and I can spam his DMs with all the twists, and turns.

I literally do not think at this point, even seven episodes in I can really write analysis of the show. I’m almost certainly going to rewatch this, and maybe that will inspire conversations around lighting, and blocking, and use of reflection but for now, I am just going to talk about some of the things I have been noticing and some paths I see those threads taking. 

First of all, in a ghost story, I do not think that I am actually putting too much weight on the use of Hamlet as a play in this story. However, I will admit upfront that I am very potentially putting too much weight on the Greek mythology (River Styx, and Orpheus and Eurydice) that were referenced in, I think like…episode 1 or 2. 

gif by @pharawee

But, what can you expect when some of the first supernatural happenings we get is Dan waking up on a boat in the middle of a body of water (River Styx)? This does not hold consistently, but there is a trend I have been noticing, of following. It has been making me think of Orpheus and Eurydice, that Orpheus is supposed to guide his lover out of the underworld, and back to the land of the living, but he cannot turn to look behind him. He has to trust that Eurydice is there, following behind him. 

And I have been noticing some point in the show where following behind and not turning back to look have been particularly relevant. In Episode 6, Dan sees a reflection of Trin in the bathroom mirror. Trin is technically behind Dan, but the second that Dan turns to look? Trin is gone. When Dan looks away, he sees a reflection in the mirror of Trin leaving the bathroom, and he follows behind Trin all the way to the funhouse. 

This scene had some particularly striking and beautiful uses of mirrors and reflections. Namely that we see Trin, walking, and Dan following far behind in a number of mirrors. But every time a mirror appears Dan stops for a moment to look at himself. At this point, Trin has continued moving (in fact Trin never stops moving) and we see Dan completely alone in the mirror. What does this have to do with anything? What is the show trying to say about what purpose Trin, the shadow, the visions Dan have serve? Not sure yet! But it’s fucking fascinating. 

Hamlet, of course, is an obvious choice of story for a boy that can see ghosts, especially because Dan sees the ghost of his father at some point(s) in the show. Especially because there is a recurring theme/motif of drowning in this show. We have multiple boys who are haunted, both Dan and Nai being able to see ghosts, we have Dan who harbors anger in his heart for the way his father abused the family, we have a boy who went missing, last seen by the lake and whose ghost consistently appears waterlogged. We have a shadow that grabs Dan by the ankle and tries to keep him below water, we have a moment where Dan sees Trin’s lifeless body floating in a pool. Where are they going with this? I don’t know! And I want to find out. 

photo from @sparklyeyedhimbo

I have thoughts about water and it’s relation to baptism, that these boys are attending a Catholic school, that Dan is constantly pushing back against the way the school functions and the beliefs that Brother Anurak holds. I am so fascinated by the fact that Catholic priest Brother Anurak cannot confirm the existence of spirits, (when Dan has been haunted by this shadow for almost a decade of his life), and that he turns to Buddhism, and a venerable monk to help him navigate the moments where he slips between reality and dreams. 

I am fascinated by the fact that the Shadow we see gets progressively less scary, at least to me, as time goes on. This is an entity that has been following Dan from the time he was seven. When he was a child, at his mother’s funeral he called this Shadow his friend when he was talking to Brother Anurak.  

This may seem tangential, but, about a year or two ago, I played a little indie video came called Gone Home. The premise is that you arrive back to your childhood home, unannounced only to find that no one in your family is home, they have vanished without a trace, and all that remains are these letters your sister left. When I started playing this game, I was tense, I thought perhaps the house was haunted, perhaps my family had been killed and a murderer was about to pop out from around a corner. But as the story unfolds, as you read more letters from your sister, you realize that she’s queer, she’s telling you a story of why she has left, she has gone to reunite with her girlfriend. And I cannot explain the level of safety and comfort that washed over me the second I realized this was a queer story. 

In some ways that is what this Shadow feels like to me. At first it is scary, it is set up to be, it creeps up, background music builds tension, creates jumpscares of sorts, the shadow is what keeps nearly drowning Dan. But as the episodes continue, the shadow doesn’t do that anymore, Dan turns around and hugs the Shadow, and it takes him to his father (who is a massive fucking asshole to be fair).

gif by @pharawee

In Episode 6 or 7, Dan is dreaming of one of the few peaceful and happy memories he has of childhood, and the Shadow rests it’s incorporeal hands on his shoulders, almost familiar and comforting, and Dan talks to it. Dan asks it if he can stay there a little longer, and the Shadow lets him. And for me this begs the question, what is the Shadow? Is the Shadow one entity, or multiple? Are the different interactions with the Shadow meant to signify Dan is interacting with multiple different people? Is the Shadow a spirit, or a manifestation of something else: grief, anger, pain? Did Dan die/is Dan dead?

We see two instances of almost sexual acts performed by the Shadow on Dan. Once happens in a dream, and within the dream Dan is conscious. But he wakes up the next morning wet and covered in scratch marks. The second time, Dan is unconscious, but the Shadow appears in the real world, not the dream world (as far as we can tell) and starts pulling up Dan’s shirt, leans in close, so that they are almost mouth to Shadow…mouth? Both times, there is some form of pleasure on Dan’s face, but both times Dan is technically unconscious, and not really able to give consent. 

Is Dan supposed to be enjoying these moments? If so, are they coming from a lover of his, either one from the past or are we perpetuating circles of time where Dan is retroactively being haunted by someone he loves and loses in the future? I don’t know about you all, and personally I don’t want every story that involved Catholicism to focus on the known history of pedophilia within the Catholic church, but…

gif from @pharawee

Dan has been seeing the Shadow since after he was shot accidentally by his mother and she had a mental breakdown, but this is around the same time that Brother Anurak, Catholic Priest, Brother Anurak enters the picture. And Dan says that the Shadow has been getting stronger since he started at this boarding school where Brother Anurak is a teacher. Could the Shadow be a metaphor for childhood sexual assault trauma that Dan cannot remember, or does not want to face? Possibly. Brother Anurak has seemed a little bit suspicious in the show thus far, (not wholly in the like, “possibly a pedophile” way to be clear, just in the “this dude almost certainly knows more about this student’s disappearance than he is letting on” kind of way). 

Then again, according to the precisely thirty seconds of google searching on name meanings I did, Anurak as a name apparently means “the one who takes care” or “male angel”. I would love someone who is not me and has an actual understanding of the Thai language to correct me if I am wrong. (@recentadultburnout or @lurkingteapot are either of you watching this show? If so, would you be willing to discuss name meanings for Shadow the series? Obviously, no pressure or obligation). 

ANYWAY, the Shadow does not really seem like all too much of an antagonistic force at this point, more of a neutral or potentially positive force, so again, I have 25 different theories that are all possibly wrong, and this is one of them. 

Other theories about the Shadow: Dan started seeing it after almost dying of a gunshot wound, it’s just like the manifestation of death and Dan has been running from it for awhile, it is a manifestation of the people Dan cares about in his life, it is actively trying to possess Dan and keeps getting interrupted, it is a spiritual guide that is supposed to lead Dan towards helping other spirits find justice and peace. It’s a physical manifestation of queerness. Like seriously, I could probably go on all day. 

And actually, queerness is something I do want to talk about while I am here. Because this show is certainly not shying away from homophobia.

gif by @pharawee

Nai has suffered for revealing his crush on Anan the previous year, he is still suffering for it. It did not escape my notice that the only known queer kid at an all-boys Catholic boarding school does not have a roommate. Nai is pretty much always alone, until Dan shows up, and Nai is warned by his teacher to stay away from Dan to make sure “Dan stays out of trouble”. Ever time that Dan and Nai are seen walking together, touch each other casually, exit a room together, they are called a slur. Nai tries to tell Dan to stay away from him so that Dan isn’t condemning himself to the life of a social pariah. We get one good Token Straight Friend in Josh. We learn that Trin was queer, and Trin was friends with Nai, and now Trin has disappeared. 

The queer kid(s) or the kids associated with the queer kid are the only people getting beaten up at this school, and the actor that plays dickbag Anan is truly committing to the bit, because the (fake) punches he delivers look like they got some force to them. 

I was actually just chatting with @so-much-yet-to-learn and as I was writing out the sentence “what if the Shadow is a physical manifestation of queerness?” he wrote “ooh, so Nai sees them as human figures whereas Dan sees his as a shadow commentary on how aware they are of their sexuality, maybe?” Dan does see Trin in full form, so I am not sure how much this does track, but it is at least worth acknowledging that Nai is aware of his queerness, has been outed, is The Known Queer at school, and has a very visibly obvious crush on Dan. Meanwhile, Dan reads queer (to me), some of the things he says, the way he laughed at Josh asking him if he liked Cha-aim, the fact that he sticks with Nai, make me think he is aware of his queerness. But, we as the audience have not actually gotten any explicit confirmation that Dan is queer or aware of his queerness. 

photo from @blmpff

However, it is worth noting the physical ghost that Dan is able to see is Trin, another queer boy, (who everyone at school knew was queer because they knew he had a crush on his male theater teacher) and then some random boy that we have never seen before that he, once again, only sees in a mirror. But in Episode 7, Dan has lost this grounding stone, and the line between reality and dreams is constantly blurring. In Episode 7, Dan dreams of a near empty place, the only thing on the floor are drawings of a boxer, a naval ship, a sailor. He sees a man with one arm missing, the remainder of the limb bandaged and bleeding, he sees a man (again, only from behind) handcuffed to a table, behind bars, reading a letter by candlelight, he sees a man tied to a post, blindfolded and about to be executed, once again facing away, back turned to a firing squad. 

Dan finds out like, practically the next day about the local legend of the One Armed Man, who was a boxer, joined the navy, lost his arm, sold himself to homosexual millionaires, and got arrested for selling drugs to party goers who ended up dying of drug overdoses. You know who else has currently been associated with a narcotics related drug overdose?

Trin. 

The missing, queer boy who was trying to break tradition, and bring progress to his school. 

Trin, the missing queer boy who has hallucinations. Hallucinations like… 

Dead bodies. 

You know who else saw dead bodies in the most recent episodes?

Dan. 

photos from @sparklyeyedhimbo

I don’t know where I am going with this beyond the fact that Trin is established to have bipolar disorder, for which was on medication. In flashback he is shown stating that he wants to get off his medication, we are told in the present that he had stopped taking his medication, and that instead he was treating his bipolar with narcotics, and that he had smoked week the night of his disappearance. It is at this point I would like to say, this show would be absolutely fucking based if they actually gave Trin bipolar disorder, and then had the adults that are suspicious and clearly hiding something, weaponize the stigma against his mental health disorder to try to discredit whatever Trin was trying to do, as well as distance themselves from any potential suspicion around their level of involvement in Trin’s disappearance. (This is not to say this is behavior I support irl, it is to say that it would be excellent commentary around how someone’s mental health can be weaponized against them in truly terrible ways)

So by my count we have two instances of drug overdose mentions from two separate people and stories (Trin’s disappearance and the One Armed Man), and two instances of “hallucinations” of seeing dead people (Trin’s vision he discusses in an audio recording and Dan’s vision in art class). These are not enough data points to say they are definitively doing something with this, but it is just something I am noting. 

Another theory that @so-much-yet-to-learn floated in conversation with me was the idea that the boys that were being haunted were ones who were breaking the status quo in some way. Trin was trying to do away with hazing at school and was called in to the administrator’s office multiple times and told to change his student president campaign policies, Nai is currently the only known queer at school, and Dan does not engage in anything even resembling filial piety. (Again, his dad is a Grade A Major Fucking Asshole).

photos from @sparklyeyedhimbo

Where am I going with this? I don’t know! Maybe nowhere! Again, my brain is going BRRRRRRR and I am just rapidly cycling through a thousand unformed theories. God, I just want to know what happened, I want to know what everyone knows, I want to know what the fuck is up with Anan and the teacher he is fucking and their involvement in all of this, I wanna know why the fuck he is as reactive as he is (like he literally almost strangled Dan to the point of unconsciousness at the end of Episode 7), Anan and HIS TEACHER keep making references to Trin, to “the nurses other daughter”, throwing suspicion on Dan about knowing about them. I want to know how they are involved in all of this. 

I JUST WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING, I CAN SEE A MILLION DIFFERENT OUTCOMES, I AM HAVING A GREAT TIME AND I FUCKING HOPE THIS SHOW CAN STICK THE LANDING BECAUSE I AM ENJOYING IT SO MUCH.

#shadow #shadow the series #singto prachaya #fluke natouch #thai bl #gagaoolala #shadow meta #shadow analysis #shadow the series meta #shadow the series analysis #brain dump #i need the rest of this show immediately

[rottingparts]

omg could you possibly do a RotB!Unicron x Human!Reader? 👉👈

his giant form and his voice have me going crazy I swear 😩💕💖 giant, imposing men hit so different for me 💖💖

Curious

Summary: You can't help but be turned on by your new, very large and very imposing 'boss'. And he can't help but notice.

Warnings: SMUT! 18+! MINORS DNI! Unicron doesn't touch you, there's some mind stuff going on, reader is suspended in air, GN AFAB!Reader, masturbation, unicron calls you 'pet'

Word Count: 1,300 (this was supposed to be like 500 words...)

A/N: As always... I GOT CARRIED AWAY! Anyway, I've wanted to write for Unicron and didn't know what, or if anyone would wanna read it, so thank you for starting this !! Also, y'know that scene in that gif? Where Scourge is like being hurt by Unicron? Yeah, imagine that, but with Pleasure~ -Rot

--------

To say Scourge despised you was an understatement. Unicron, his master, had brought a human into the mix and he could not have been more displeased. You could absolutely not have cared less though.

Being part of Unicron’s team had many perks, and one was listening to his voice. There was also power you could never fully imagine, but that wasn’t as important as listening to a large, imposing, planet eater explain things to Scourge.

“You aren’t making the human go after the Autobots?”

“No.” Unicron ended his sentence there. You tried to hold back a smirk. “Now, go get the other piece of the key!”

Unicron’s voice boomed and just like that, Scourge was gone. You were left standing in front of him, all alone. Your hands were behind your back and your eyes watched him from across the large space between the two of you.

“Is everything alright?” You cocked your head and furrowed your brows.

Unicron was silent. He blinked and finally spoke up. “You are aroused.”

Your eyes widened. “Um-”

“Do not deny it, sweet pet,” Unicron’s voice boomed, you could feel it in your chest. Swallowing hard, you thought about every possible outcome from this. But then it registered that he had called you ‘sweet pet’. “I can sense it from here.”

“Okay,” You exhaled, your breath unsteady, “you’re right. I am turned on.”

That was all you had to say, really. What more were you to confess to? That you thought about him when you touched yourself? Not on your watch.

“Show me how ‘turned on’ you are.” Unicron sounded curious, intrigued, and definitely not like he wanted you dead for even mentioning that he, the man you were working under, had turned you on. “Touch yourself.”

Normally, you’d be reluctant to even do anything like that. But, for some reason (and it wasn't the fear of death), you were quick to listen. As your hands went down your waistband, you asked, “What if someone sees me…?” It was a valid question. Of course, Unicron could see you, but you were also in the back of some alley that Scourge had found to talk to his master. So, anyone else who entered that alley would also see you.

The thought of someone finding you was genuinely one that almost made you laugh. Someone finding a random person, who was also completely sober, getting off alone in an alley? Even if it was funny, you hoped it wouldn’t happen.

“No one will find you.”

You nodded. You had no reason to not believe him. He had kept every promise to you thus far. So, you touched yourself. Your hand was between your legs in an instant and you were working on yourself. Unicron let out a low hum, one so low you could feel it. Your body was shaking, from excitement and from the reverberation of Unicron’s voice.

Your finger ghosted over your clit and then dipped down, pushing past your lips and inside of you. You let out a low moan and your eyes shut. You could feel your skin burning, Unicron’s eyes burning into you. You could feel his eyes on you, watching with curiosity. Your fingers were making quick work of you, you knew exactly where to touch yourself, how much you could take. And Unicron was taking that all in.

You fell onto your knees on the platform you stood on, and a loud moan slipped past your lips. You had tried to stifle it, but it wasn’t working. Unicron let out another low hum, obviously liking what was in front of him. At least you hope that’s what it obviously was.

“I want you to be loud.” Unicron finally spoke up. As soon as he did, you were sent into overdrive. Your fingers were curving in and out of you, your thumb circling your clit, and you were at your breaking point.

“Unicron!” Your voice was shaky, but loud, just as he had asked.

You slumped over slightly, legs spreading even more. One of your hands was still in your pants, and the other was supporting you. You swallowed hard and looked up at Unicron through your lashes. His optics watched you, unmoving.

“Uh,” You stumbled on your words, “Did you need me to help Scourge- I’m sure I could-”

“No.” His voice struck you, like electricity hitting every nerve you had. “We are not done.”

You gulped down air and took in a shaky breath. You were going to stand back up, but you were unable to. You weren’t controlling your own movements anymore. You were moving up, your body limp and your breath hitched. Your eyes hit Unicron’s and suddenly, fear washed over you. You couldn’t tell what he had in mind, and while that was kind of hot, you were also terrified.

“No need to be afraid,” Unicron reassured you, “I’m not getting rid of you any time soon.”

Your eyes moved up towards the stars around you and took his word for it. You had no reason not to…

You were floating in front of Unicron, still fully clothed, and your body was pliable and as relaxed as you could possibly make it. You were unaware of how greatly you would be rewarded for that. All you knew was that Unicron had just held Scourge up and all he seemed to feel was pain. You did not want that to happen to you.

Your body grew hot and you felt a knot forming in your stomach. The heat between your legs was only growing hotter. You were suspended in space, and your mind was everywhere. Until, suddenly it wasn’t.

A shock of pleasure ran through you, and you let out a sharp, surprise filled moan. Your eyes snapped towards Unicron and his optics looked more focused than you had ever seen before. Your back arched and your head snapped back at the feeling of another wave of pleasure hitting you like a ton of bricks. A pressure formed at your clit, as if something, or someone, was rubbing against it, and you gasped. You twitched and cried out for Unicron.

Briefly, you wondered what this looked like from the alley. How weird a passerby would find the situation. You could only hope that, if you were found, their response would be “Oh, a person suspended in air, crying out from pleasure? This is normal for Brooklyn.” And that they would move on.

You were brought back to Unicron when he let out a low groan himself. “You are being so good,” His voice rumbled, causing you to let out another moan, “Much better listener than Scourge.” You could hear his distaste. You almost laughed, but another cry pushed past your lips as it felt like a small shock was pressed to your clit.

“Fuck,” You struggled out, “I’m gonna-” You gasped, “please let me cum!”

Every single bit of you tensed. Your back arched further and your toes curled. Your nails dug into your palms and you screamed out for Unicron. You rode the wave of ecstasy while still in the air, Unicron watching you as you writhed from satisfaction.

You felt yourself slowly descending back towards the platform and you let out a soft groan. You lay there for a minute, taking everything in. Unicron, still not saying anything, watched you closely.

You sat yourself up and looked into his optics, “Unicron…?” It was a question more than anything, causing him to give a low ‘hm’. “I’m telling Scourge you said I’m a better listener.”

Suddenly, everything was disappearing around you. Your eyes stayed on Unicron though. “Do tell him he needs to hurry, as well.”

He was gone, and you were back in that alley. On the hard, wet ground. You grimaced and scrunched your nose up. You huffed, stood up, and brushed yourself off. You were left alone, having to find Scourge on your own. Your body still burned at the thought of what had just happened, and you smirked at the thought of rubbing it in Scourge’s face.

#valveplug #unicron #unicron x reader #rotb unicron #transformers smut #unicron smut #snail-noodle