#tumblr i will throw up if you fuck up the quality please

[kunshokunsho]

women

(this took so long guys pls like and subscribe jsshgsywjnwakskxhhdbrjrkrjghrbrjkekekrj))

#idk how to draw muscles #tumblr i will throw up if you fuck up the quality please #i am tired #but atleast i have nya ninjago #kunshoart #kunsho #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago nya #ninjago jay

[disabledunitypunk]

I'm so tired of cripplepunk exclusionism. I'm frustrated that cripplepunk as a term has become a red flag for those of us that are both physically disabled and neurodisabled, because we know we are not safe in those spaces. I'm especially tired of the few neurotypical gatekeepers I've come across that are treating people who are both like privileged invaders when they literally lack one of the axes of oppression we face and therefore (while I don't believe they are ontologically capable of oppressing us) DO HAVE PRIVILEGE IN THAT SITUATION.

And I'm tired of other people who are both throwing those with multiple types of disabilities to the wolves. I'm tired of some of the people who quite literally have more accommodations and treatment than me treating me like I'm only mildly disabled in any way. Please note I'm only referring to the people involved in the conversation that have access that I don't have, such as not being housebound by their own words.

I'm also tired of it coming from people as or more disabled than me, but that is both less common and I have more sympathy for those people because being super fucking sick and having to fight a greater-than-90-degree battle against the people who are supposed to be saving your life and increasing it's quality to not kill you and actively make your quality of life worse fucking sucks. I know from personal experience. I'm not excusing their actions, but I do feel for them.

Anyway, here's the post that provoked this. I'm struggling more and more every day to not think that this is at the very least partially a psy-op pushed by actual feds, even if it didn't start out that way, because of the extreme levels of damage it's done to disabled solidarity. It has truly effectively destabilized any disabled liberation movements.

And you know what? I don't care if there are no actual feds involved. If that's worth it to you just to get one over on the evil "abled" or "able-bodied" privileged neurodivergents, regardless of where you fall in terms of type of disability, go pick up your badge, because you're just doing the work of a fed, might as well not do it for free.

And don't get me wrong, I have my own share of wrath for neurodivergent people that think all physically disabled people have it soooo easy and are taken sooooo seriously. Corpoableism is also a problem in the community! I saw a comic like that the other day that I haven't been able to post about yet because I literally get too triggered every time I try.

My point here is specifically about exclusion in a movement quite literally named for a slur that historically and in modern times has absolutely been used for all of us. Crip studies and crip liberation always included all of us, well before someone on tumblr decided to make it exclusive. We were being called mental crips in asylums right alongside physical crips in hospitals (and freak shows).

We all face ableism and accessibility barriers and can be SEVERELY DISABLED by either type of disability. Pretending otherwise is just ableism.

But that's the whole point, isn't it? Using a reclaimed slur that belongs to all of us because a coiner who was (hopefully non-maliciously) ignorant of disabled liberation movements' histories and the variance in physical realities of neurodisability symptoms said so. Disabled people deciding that their experiences are universal, or that other disabled people are just lying fakers who want attention and are claiming to be more disabled than they are to get it (hm, where does that sound familiar). Pushing neurodisabled people out of disabled spaces because we're "not really disabled" and it's "all in our heads".

Conflating "abled" with "able-bodied", something the vast majority of cpunk exclusionists I've seen do, and conversely conflating "disabled" with "physically disabled". And if "cripplepunk" is only for "physically disabled" people and not for neurodivergent "able-bodied" people, then it's for "disabled" people and not for neurodivergent "abled" people. That's where linking those concepts ends up. It's all ableism, all the way down.

See, I have no problem with spaces that focus on physical disabilities. I'd like those myself. I just don't want to be considered "derailing" or a "privileged invader" when I can't separate my symptoms neatly into little boxes of "physical" and "mental", or compare the ones I can and how they affect each other and worsen each other, or talk about how sanism and neuroableism make corpoableism from medical professionals worse and vice versa, or find that some of my neurodisabilities are worse or cause more accessibility barriers than some of my physical ones.

Because cripplepunk isn't about physically disabled people anymore. It's about excluding neurodivergent people. And this hurts physically disabled neurodivergent people most.

Maybe we could stop the bullshit lateral aggression and go back to the idea that disabled people don't have to be "nice", or "palatable", or mask as abled when we're not. Maybe we can go back to actually fighting our oppressors instead of each other. (And maybe also we can go back to some fucking selfies of decorated mobility aids and 3d printer designs for wheelchair handle spikes and openly disabled joy. I fucking miss that.)

#mod stars #cripplepunk #unitypunk #ableism #neuroableism #sanism #corpoableism #if you're here to argue read the post again. then read it again with an open mind. and if you're still not listening just block. #also if you're here to call me abled or even able-bodied tell your mom I'm sorry I was too sick to fuck her last night #I'm not abled in any way and if you still refuse to read that no matter how many times I say it bc you can't see past your assumptions #then you're just a wildly ableist asscunt and I can't help you

[renjunniez]

Hiii, just gotta say, I LOVED your Wendy gifset and I was wondering how you got them to look that pretty?? They looks soft and detailed and like, real? Hehe I hope you can help me out, idk what I've been doing wrong with mine that are looking like shit so, help me out please

henlo anon!

when i first started gif-making, my gifs weren't the bestest either! it's a process and i think you'll get better at it w practice and trying new things !! <3 i'll throw in a bunch of pointers a lot of CCs gave me when i first started giffing and some of my opinions under the cut!

also this is definitely Not a link to download photoshop 2022 for free that i definitely didn't use as an upgrade two weeks ago

what you'll need to know before going through this long long rant of mine:

basic photoshop giffing skills

knowledge of smart filters and blending options

some patience (to hear my nonsense)

interest in maybe picking up new software

disclaimer: image heavy!

1. always use videos in their highest quality!

hq videos = hq gifs! i do not recommend using videos below 720p! also if you use photoshop, the number of colours in the gif is limited 268, meaning that sometimes your gifs can lose quality in export, and that could make lower quality videos look worse! (for eg. the video i sourced the wendy set from was 4k that i downloaded from 4kvideodownloader)

here's links to download:

4kvideodownloader

sophistagram (for vlives)

weverse lives download tutorial

twitter video downloader

a smol opinion: i've seen a lot of users use tumblr mobile, and noticed that gifs on tumblr mobile are always a little blurred out? this kind of makes the gifs look less clear </3 so using higher quality videos always helps!

2. vapoursynth / avisynth / km player!

these are softwares to sharpen and denoise your videos! they're completely optional (i used to gif with photoshop alone for the longest time) but they do make quite a lot of difference!

i highly recommend you to check the tutorials below!

gif-making with vapoursynth tutorial by @wonublr

gif-making with avisynth tutorial by @soonhoonsol

gif-making with km player (and vapoursynth!) tutorial by @woozi

a smol opinion: i've never used km player, so i don't have much to say about it. as for avisynth, it's pretty easy to work with, the only down side is that there are no denoise options. vapoursynth has both and is very user-friendly, but i found the shift from avisynth to vapoursynth slightly confusing!

these are my usual settings for vapoursynth:

3. gif sizes!

a very big (and maybe bullshit) opinion:

now, tumblr recommends you size your gifs this way:

(img src)

but it,, doesn't necessarily have to be that way 👁

i really like to fuck around and use whatever size i want for my 268px and my 177px gifs, and the wendy set was no exception! the size of each gif in the set was 400px X 580px!! this, in my opinion, makes it easier to view them (a lot more clear, you could say) :o

as for my 540px gifs, they remain the same size!

4. sharpening on photoshop!

i would always recommend you to sharpen your gifs again on photoshop. tumblr LOVES reducing gif quality, so i resharpen to give my gifs some 'depth'

this is how i usually sharpen my gifs:

(the gif above was sharpened and denoised on vs w the settings mentioned above!)

step 01:

after you're done converting your gif into a smart object on photoshop, we'll add a layer of smart sharpen. these are my settings:

step 02: more... smart sharpen :eye: :

step 03: high pass (optional tbh)

imp: don't forget to change the blending to soft light / overlay (i prefer the former)

now the gif looks like this:

something to note: i like switching up my opacity levels on these settings, and usually only ever change the radius and strength of the sharpening!

here's a few more sharpening tutorials:

sharpening tutorial by @/woozi

tutorial by @/hellboys

tutorial by @yutaslaugh

5. colouring!

colouring plays a huge role in making your gifs look sharper and cleaner! this is your playground, and this is the area you have the most freedom to change, and zuzsh up things the way you like them!

generally, i like to draw the attention to the person i'm giffing, so i make sure to set the contrasts right! i also extremely like making the colours cooler, so that it seems more natural!

the layers i use most are:

curves (on auto)

more cuves (using the eyedroppers to set my black, grey and white points)

selective colour (to change contrasts, to recolour skin)

colour balance (to balance my shadows and highlights)

levels (for brightness, contrast and depth!)

i'm not extremely good at colouring either, so here are some more in depth colouring tutorials (i'm terrible at explaining i'm so sorry sksjkd):

colouring tutorial by @/jihan

south-east asian celeb colouring tutorial by @/blueshelp

and here's some pre-made psd packs!:

psd pack by @/kpopco

psd pack by @shuatonin

psd pack by @coupsnim

psd pack by @/wonublr

closing ments:

if you've made it this far, thank you! i'm not extremely great at explaining things, but i hope you found this 'tutorial' useful! (extremely confused what this is tbh it feels like i'm rambling sgkfjsh)

here's a few more tutorials (kinda unrelated) that i found useful and fun!:

tutorial to fix grainy gifs

tutorial to remove panning from gifs

animated text tutorial

gif + more effects tutorial

#n.asks #from: anonie #i really hope i made some sense to you fjkshkfjhs :sob:

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Six Sentence Sunday & Countdown to EGF (Week 1!)

Hello hi hola!! Thank you for the early morning tags, @thewholelemon and @artsyunderstudy! I have six-ish sentences from Chapter 3 of my EGF fic, which I shared with my lovely EGF collaborator @shemakesmeforget (thank you for making me feel good about my writing 😆😆😆):

When Baz comes out into the kitchen, Simon Snow is still trotting around mostly naked except for Baz’s boxer briefs. He has freckles and moles everywhere, and the collar around his neck and the steaming mug of tea in his hands make him look oddly domestic; Baz is sure he’s seen a porn that started this way. 

“Here,” Simon says, thrusting the mug at Baz. “Wasn’t sure if you took milk or sugar.” 

“Usually milk,” Baz says, opening the fridge, “but - ah, yes, I’m out. I was going to do the weekly shop, but then kidnapping, imprisonment, et cetera.”

“Extremely et cetera,” Simon says solemnly. 

Writing blather, a bonus pic, and tags behind the cut! 

Here’s a brief description of my writing process thus far: 

Write 22 000 words in basically a fever dream / fugue state (around the same time that I wrote “A cake with your name on it”)  

Let it sit, because I knew it needed massive edits 

Sign up for EGF in early Jan with all the arrogance and naivete of youth, because “hey! I already have a draft!” 

Reread the draft in mid-Jan and feel like throwing up (Jan. 15 journal entry: “I just re-read my EGF fic and it seems like such a fucking disaster. What the actual hell”) 

Attempt ambitious rewrites. Fail. Lose momentum. Journal about it a lot. Draw a bunch of mind maps. Get lost in the black hole of Tumblr. Cry in the car. Eat kettle chips and binge-watch the K-drama Doctors  

Reread/re-watch some classic things that I should keep in a box/bookmarks folder called Break Glass in Case of Artistic Emergency (The Artist’s Way; Liz Gilbert’s TED talk on daemons; Kiki’s Delivery Service) 

Do some useful loosening up exercises (rewriting and responding to the Basic Principles in The Artist’s Way; writing a paean to the Muses; making a checklist of how to create a good writing context for myself)

Re-read the draft. Think, “Huh, it’s actually not as bad as I thought. Rewriting isn’t working, so I think I just have to work with what I have.” Realise that the draft hasn't changed in quality, just my mindset.

Think fondly of my old mentor McKenna (playwright, poet, Irish madman), who would always say, “These things that you think I'm teaching you? You know them already. I’m just reminding you, is all.”  

I share this not just because I crave validation (I mean, I’m an artist and a human, of course I crave validation) but because I think everyone who reads this probably resonates with at least one part of it. 

And it’s useful for me to have this as a record to come back to say, “Oh yeah, this happened to me before, this will probably happen again, here is evidence that I climbed out of this well before, and here are some really concrete things that I did to climb out of the well. This is all part of the process, even the stretches that suck and feel like you’re off-roading in the dark.” 

If you made it through this exercise in navel-gazing, please enjoy this picture, because I have apparently branched out from making fake t-shirts and entered the realm of making fake mugs for my fic, as part of my Creative Process: 

I have to run off soon (to pick up fresh cinnamon buns) so I am just going to do a bunch of hello tags off the top of my head in a completely random fashion: @erotic-grope-fest, @captain-aralias, @fatalfangirl, @cutestkilla, @technetiumai, @tectonicduck, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @raenestee, @dohrnaira, @larkral (look, I came out to play!!!), @facewithoutheart, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @whogaveyoupermission, @martsonmars, @aristocratic-otter. Happy Sunday to you all!

#Six Sentence Sunday #egf2023 #good morning good night good morning #creative process bullshit #sneaky btvs references #my fic tag

[onlyjaeyun]

alright now WHAT THE FUCK? so much shit just happened i need a moment to unpack everything. okay so first of all fashion icon yn ☝️ jay is so proud of u bby. second of all yn is gONNA CO-COACH WITH SUNGHOON? 😨😨 so much stuff is happening i feel like im about to forget smth important from the new chap again but YOOOOO WHY IS SUNGHOON SO SASSY 😭 the sassy men apocalypse is so real 🤕 but pookie calm down pls he keeps eating yn up if i had someone pointing out my daddy issues like that i would straight up cry. ngl if i were in yn’s place i would’ve blocked from the first “what the FUCK” but that’s just me personally 😶 ANYWHO jaemin what the FUCK 😨😨😨 i’m actually so like ?!?!?! he’s so cheating he’s literally actually deadass wallahi fr fr cheating ??????????? like the fucking audacity that some male species have is actually jaw dropping. how r u gonna get all insecure about yn being surrounded by her friends who r practically like her brothers and go “i don’t feel comfortable around them” like WHAT 😨 the self projection is sO REAL. and bby. yn, my love. my angel. my everything. dump his ass i’m begging you. EVEN IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE that u can’t find anyone better and you won’t be able to find anyone after someone as shitty as CH jaems (which u for sure will!!) it’s so much better to be single rather than be with someone who literally does not give a singular flying fuck about you. like girl protect your dignity 🤕🤕 break up with his ass even if he’s the last bf you’ll ever have it’s better than being with someone who’s CHEATING. anywho now that that’s out of the way, really jaemin. jakyung??? REALLY???? ngl the whole hoon & jakyung convo really made me almost throw up the whole time “i can’t study when im tense like this” please do me a favour and suck my dick ew i gen can’t. also WDYM THEYRE GONNA FUCK SO MUCH SOONER THAN ANY OF UR SMAUS? 😨 mamas pls calm down i am not prepared for a hate fucking between yn & hoon (i am. im playing im so seated for it.)

anywho my rant for chap.4 is done and i just wanted to say congratulations zadie !!! you know u ate that smau up SO WELL (especially when it’s supposed to be e2l and the characters are supposed to be hated for character development purposes) when you get anons in ur inbox hating on your work 🥰 like u fr made it and i’m so proud of you ! anyways CH ate. easily one of the best enha smaus in the making with your amazing writing & plot development sending u so much love zadie & so many hugs & kisses i can’t wait to see u piss more ppl off and i can’t wait to see the new CH chapters <333

(no but like genuinely is it that hard to SCROLL AWAY from smth that doesn’t please you? 💀 i don’t get it cuz i’ve seen works that i personally didn’t like yet i never felt the need to go in their inbox and be like “ur shit is so unlikeable dawg what the fuck” because what??? wasting my time like that when i could be searching for a diff fic that i could actually like.

like hello people have different tastes. there might be smth that u don’t like (that one anon) that a different person would gladly eat up (me basically) and there’s absolutely no reason to shit/hate on other people’s works/tastes. ESPECIALLY on tumblr. an app where u get to read literally top quality work for FREE.

and i’m sure so many writers are open for feedback as long as it’s NICE. you can very easily send feedback about a shitty work WHILE appreciating the writer’s effort and hard work spent on it even if the end result didn’t satisfy you. but to straight up go “ur shit is unlikable” IS CRAZY FOR ME 💀💀💀 like pls go into ur notes app or go into ur drafts and write shit that’s “likeable” for u instead of hating on miss zadie 🙏🏼 anywho im sorry this became so long but that was so unnecessary like anon grow up pls you’re better than this

i just want u to know zadie that this is YOUR work. (really want to emphasise this especially after that one ask u got during SB and how it made u pull away from the DDLG concept), the first person that should be satisfied with your works is YOU. if you want to add ddlg pls do if u don’t then don’t if u want to extend the e2l plot in CH please DOOOO these are works and literally universes that you’re creating according to your own liking (and i promise whatever you put out will be amazing because all your works are actually so incredible you’re UNABLE to make smth bad) so pls pls pls add whatever u want !! write whatever you want as long as YOURE satisfied then that’s all that matters ! again love u so much i hope you’re taking care of urself <333

& and always keep your foot down these bitches necks ☝️💯

-⁉️

THERE YOU ARE HI ANGEL BABY 🤭🤭🤭🤍 i hope youve been doing well and are taking good care of yourself !!!!!

gonna try my best and respond to all parts so excuse me pls if i forget any 😭

I ABSOLUTELY AGREEEE. being single is so much better than being with someone like CH!jaems and im afraid ch!y/n's gonna need a while to realise that 🫣 and i know hhe whole jakyung x hoonie part was a little 😞 bc like why would he do that we all know he's madly in love with his enemy (he literally genuinely hates her) but its for the plot i promise 😞😞😞😞

i have also decided to add the smut a little earlier mostly bc i havent properly written smut for hoonie yet and i want to so bad like he's so dreamy and so mean it manes me want to spread my legs and go feral like full on begging and shit so the reason behind the early scheduled smut scene is mostly because of my hunger for sunghoon (jake look away baby)

and the whole not liking a character situation with the E2L is somehhing i struggled with a lot because i 100% agree with you hence the reason i responded the way i did but i genuinely get the nonie bc like thats our hoonie and i make him look so bad BUT I PROMISE ITS FOR THE PLOT 😭😭😭

i will also never get the whole idea of going into someone's inbox and just ranting and complaining when you could just..click away but whatever honestly sto ive accepted that this smau will trigger a LOT of people and i have come to the conclusion that it justa pproves my thoughts of doing what's necessary 🫣

thank you so, so much for your sweet words baby. i do need those reminders every now and then simply because as a writer i tend to get caught up by all the engagement and interactions and asks and comments and the numbers that i tend to forget who i'm writing for in the first place. i hope you know this ask literally means the world to me and i love and appreciate you so so so much, sending you a big kiss rn 🥺☁️🫧🩷

#; mailbox 📬 #; cold hearts

[justanotherfanaccount]

shadow and bone s2e4 reaction

everyone's reactions to the engagement 😳

zoyas back to herself hahah

bitch ass...she is not ruined (she is ruination)

damn...openly kissing right after your engagement announcement?? 👀 yes...I see nothing going wrong

ope...guess who was right and who's brother saw that!!

what is this boy doing??? (baghras finger) God damn

they really made baghra a better (nicer) person in this version though...

"it'll give me some comfort to know you're with me" is the nicest thing kaz can say hahaha

"if the plan goes awry" ...book kaz's plans never go awry...they just turn into plan f

"kinda like your face" IS THAT THE RIP-OFF "maybe I liked your stupid face" !?!?! IT BETTER NOT BE

ok jesper guessing what kaz is gonna say was amazing top notch quality...one of my new favorite moments

...this is also crooked kingdom...(the costumes)...it SCARES ME

...ope...nina is in this plan...she might ruin it (she hasn't really been a CROW yet...she cares more about Matthias at the moment and Pekka can give her that)

anndd...that happened sooner than I expected

it took kaz almost a whole book to forgive jesper for ACCIDENTALLY telling people they were leaving town...idk how he's gonna forgive nina for PURPOSELY doing this

love alina learning the cut...get it girl

also Tamar and Nadias chemistry 👀👀 I see you (ps Tamar is so gorgeous how do I focus with her on screen 😭)

David's actor is so good! the pain in his voice when he mentions genya 🥺🥺

"I share no bond with kirigan" 😳 girl is done with him

"it's a little unsettling how you talk about him like he's someone else" get it mal! I love that line

please be a kaz plan please be a kaz plan please be a kaz plan please be a kaz plan

inej saving the people on the ship 😭😭 I love her so much

again I say...please be a kaz plan please be a kaz plan... how else does he forgive nina?

this is literally crooked kingdom...the fake plague?

YES ITS A KAZ PLAAANNN

I KNEW IT I LOVE KAZ PLANS

wylan 🥰 (it was such a short scene...I just love him)

jesper in his costume brooo

hell yeah I love crazy kaz

"you'll never find your son in time" badass shit

start begging Pekka. start begging.

honestly...not mad that they moved this plot up sooner cuz there is still a lot that happens in six of crows and crooked kingdom with van eck and the ice court...this gets Pekka out of the way

aahhhhhh freddy is an amazing kaz!!!!

right after his big Pekka throw down he looks at jesper and nina like he was ashamed he learned his secret and it just ahhhhh

tolya and his poetry hahaha loovee

damn nikolais brother whose name I forgot! rude!

Vasily...it was said

ew...don't kiss her hand vasily...nasty

his son being okay gets me though 🥺 the little boy didn't do anything wrong and kaz knows that

"you could come with me" for being so good at flirting with everyone...i love how bad he is at it with the people he actually likes

"I can't make you any promises, or predict what might happen between us. but I can tell you that, I'd like to find out." CRIES 😭😭

ok imma be honest...I got a bit of wesper in e4 spoiled for me because I opened tumblr and THERE IT WAS and was SO UPSET because I love their slow burn

it just seems like they rushed it...they barely know each other...GIVE ME MY SLOW BURN

but also this scene is really cute

BUT WHY WE MOVING SO FUCKING FAST BRO

...I went back and rewatched the scene because as I said in a previous post...I always rewatch wylan scenes and

WYLANS LITTLE TURNED AWAY SMILE AFTER JESPERS SPEECH OMGGG HES SO ADORABLE

kaz being mad at inej but just because he was worried about her 🥺

"weak link" this bitch is so bad at feelings...we all know you love her

I just know that if we could see in his head like the books he'd be yelling at himself

I love nikolai "wear it that is...not punch me"

this scene is like word for word! love!

Vasily gives me slimey vibbeess

I'm so excited for this scene

AND HERE WE GO

BRO WAS LITERALLY RIPPED IN TWO

darkling really just walked past alina like 🚶‍♂️

I love the darklina scenes thouggghh they're done so well to the book!!

is it bad to say that I expected genya to be...worse than she is??? 👀

like girl was described as missing an eye and basically looking almost non-humanlike due to the torture she endured

but now she has like some scratches on her face

"do you see him?" 👀 same alina...same

(imma just put this here in my small shameful way but...the darkling looks really hot when he's trembling with anger 😗...)

#im sorry that ben barnes is hot #its not my fault #its his #😤 #kaz brekker #crazy kaz #wesper #wesper is a slow burn #im a little nervous but i have hope #shadow and bone #sab #sab spoilers #sab s2e4 #shadow and bone s2e4 #shadow and bone reaction #justanothersbreaction #six of crows #soc

[keikakudori]

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? ✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? ☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

the salty af munday meme

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

TINY. ASS. ICONS.

I AM NOT EVEN REMOTELY SORRY TO SAY THAT I AM GENUINELY A LITTLE HATEFUL TOWARDS ICONS THAT ARE UNDER 70X70. I HAVE A LARGE MONITOR. YOU HAVE TINY ICONS. I AM NOT GOING TO ZOOM IN TO BEHOLD WHATEVER YOUR ICON IS. I UNDERSTAND PEPLE ENJOY THE AESTHETIC OF TINY ICONS OR SOME PEOPLE WRITE ON MOBILE AND MORE POWER TO YOU IF YOU DO BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT THE EYE STRAIN IS REAL.

i'm not even remotely joking. if i see a too-small icon ( anything under 70x70 ) then i'm not going to bother trying to puzzle it out. small icons are a hellish thing. i want to find out whoever started that trend and just egg their car. it's one of the biggest things for me that i'm absolutely over.

i'm so tired of the minimalism that has crept into the rpc.

like yes that's a very pretty psd you're using just put it on icons that aren't the size of grains of sand. i've seen people make icons as small as 50x50. or, and this one is even worse, 30x30.

please. stop doing that. stop doing that.

also the hyper-crispy psds. like if all i'm seeing is jagged black blobs against violent bursts of color, that's also something i won't bother trying to puzzle out. i'm so over those too, especially when it's slapped onto tiny icons. just the minimalistic quality in general that's slipped into the rpc. shit like this is something that i struggle with and i've got damn good eyes. i can't even imagine what it's like for people who might have vision problems.

this is one fad that i feel NEEDS to go away.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

honestly, it feels much more like closed circles these days and there's a general faint whiff of paranoia about some things. i think it has to do with the rise of the puritanism that we're seeing more and more in fandoms these days which is both alarming and saddening. it used to be that people didn't have to say "the stuff i write is IC based. this isn't what i believe in/support offline/out of character" because it was understood that people could write awful bastards ( like me! ) and that it was just roleplay.nowadays, it feels like you have to be very deliberate and careful in what you say and do otherwise you'll get people throwing baseless accusations around. i would know. i've been through that myself. cas has been through it. i can imagine other people have done that too. tie in the rise of "omg you're romanticizing X/Y/Z!" that's going on and i'm not surprised it's changing at all. it's honestly rather sad.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

besides fucking tiny ass icons? i suppose gratuitous purple prose & thesaurus abuse will do it for me. if i have to use a thesaurus for your fancy ass way of saying "she sighed and looked at him before speaking up" then i'm probably going to want to bite you. like i'm trying to get more purple prosey again to some extent because i want to fancy my writing up again, but if i'm reading your writing and it's something like you'd read in Atlas Shrugged or whatnot, then i'm just going to be over here with my face in my hands doing a very muffled yell because sometimes using simple words is much more impactful. but that's just me; honestly, if you're having fun, then do what you want. but i'm still going to just not be very into that kind of writing.

#ask tbt; #aceparagon

[darwintm]

Hello Today I will be making Fall Drink™️ by Tumblr User Jebiwonkenobi. Thank you for your service.

Alku, my trusty assistant will be helping me today with this demonstration.

>Live Laugh Love

This is my homemade cider I made in Mid-October. It will be sacrificed in the name of Fall Drink™️. First we make it boil so it’s warm enough for the Chai Bag.

(Author’s Note: Homemade Apple Cider is the only Apple Cider I have had. It tastes like Apple Juice)

It’s Boilin’

Actually now that I think about it, you could just make Apple Cider by heating up Apple Sauce and draining the mushy bits.

Anyways time for the Chai Tea Bag

This is Kroger Brand Chai Tea so think Dollar Store Quality.

> I have some good chai bags

Lucky you

>You want some recommendations?

Yes please.

>Okay I’ll find the brand

The massacred Tea Bag.

I can’t tell if it changed color

It’s probably fine

>Xoup

>*Soup

Xoup

Zoup

Anyways Taste Test.

Mm.

I can’t tell the difference.

Maybe I should lick the bag?

Mm..

Teabag bitter.

>That’s not a good teabag

I may be stupid

Anyways Onwards

I will be using this Caramel

Because I’m lazy and not up to making my own caramel.

> Bigellow spiced and Vanilla Chai slap

Oh damn those do sound good

>It’s a good brand

Oh hey that’s a color change

Oh

Ew what the fuck

>WORMS??

I went away for 2 seconds to throw the teabag out and it was like this when I got back

The caramel is revolting

It’s unionizing against this perceived sin of the natural world

Gonna sieve it through my fancy sieve

A Whichwich cup and a fancy kitchen sieve is the only acceptable setup for this operation

That’s some horror story shit right there

The goop is tasty ig

Nvm it’s flavorless

Nectar of the Autumnal Gods (Supposedly)

>The Worms are still kinda there Yeah they were too fine for the mess Trying again More Horror

Once More Acceptable

Fall Cup

Fall Drink™️’s Judgement Day

>Go Go GO Huh It’s sweeter Apple Cider basically Maybe I did it wrong? I think it’s better than regular Cinder so 7/10 Need more Fall in my Fall Drink™️

#Fall Drink #Fall Deink #TM #thank you Alku for guest appearing in my post #Autumn Drink #Autumn Deink

[suiciderape]

𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖔! 𝖙𝖔𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖘𝖍 𝔰𝔲𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔯𝔞𝔭𝔢

im a super asian cant u super fucking tell? hell nah bitch i aint begging u to do shit but make sure i get a new bedroom hahahehe hahahehe hehehahah hell yea fucking right i got the magees arrested aka registered sex offenders they was finna play with my pussy6 over some lawyer shit when im disabled and cant even get a single taco? hell nah we cant discuss my family ok! so what is going on? its 2011s trash tumblr now? hahaha what the fuck is she saying about us? no we were magnfiicent and unalike in all qualities! what the fuck hehehhahah no fucking way we were all the same and followed her back too! ew i forgot ok so anyway this is a blog now right? ok so what is it now? yes i was there... ok so now everyonw is just staring at her content and she cant even delete the account? no way thats not gonna work! one second my dudee ok!

𝖘𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖞𝖘

hahaha we see this shit nowA hahaha aww shes so grown up and young again ew! awkward isnt even enough to start a conversation about all the money and presents were gonna give her just for that! foes what?

𝔖𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔦 𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔡 ℑ𝔪 𝔘𝔭 𝔐𝔞𝔶𝔥𝔢𝔪 (𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔢𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔯𝔨)

um! what? its not even ghetto its chinese choi chanhee family chinese! ew ur wrong its just the ghetto bitch of yoon keehos family ew! which i am now apart of bc i make really good manga u should pay thats all she! meant ew were really good at turning you down! ew ur going blank at pizza hut! ew! was that good? no it wasnt bitch what who fucking cares? nigger bitch! they are registered sex ew! ask her daddy baby stupides bitchs ew! daddy can u please start doing this! ew shes not gonna fuck up my name! again! chinese or not daddy shut up ew! u ghetto bitchs no u didnt know! u didn5 know that she was a ghetto 5 star chinese wus kitchen ghetto ass bitchs! ew! kung pao chicken oh bob hehe mhm :) ew! hahaha gangster thats her daddies absolute favorite! spicy chicken kung pao ew! hehehe ew! she gets it right every timee nah hell nah bitch nigga im doing it uo real good hell yea fucking right esketit were not the ghetto or gangsta whoo are u? ew! stfu chak we finna see who could throw hands 28

𝖘𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖞𝖘 lava & knives 𝖔𝖍 𝖇𝖔𝖇 𝖍𝖊𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖍𝖒 :) 𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖉𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑? 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖗

lava mcgee drives a nice infinity right! mhm :) we ghetto gave her everything we have and shes still interested in us mhm :) lol ok? so mhm mhm mhm shes better at us than that other typo jones mcgee registered sex offenders ew! not my dotta baby mhm :) ew! e2 is right fucking whore

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔥𝔢𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔶𝔷

28 middle finger in the air! ew hahaha its not ghetto out its ghetto gdtmmm get in ew! umit its her way of showing hmu that she can have fun without knowing anyone at all! ew or fucking up sis did u see that shit right there thats all over the ghetto news! and of course someone else knew too... hahaha awkward! so fucking weird it is weird! ok so on to other news the ghetto new yorkers of amsterdam didnt want the ghetto white dick tk ruin the party fuck u bitch! fucking biitch ew! oh hell nah skank ew! she didnt mean to pop her head now do it agen! ew@ skank horror cutz

𝖔𝖍 𝖇𝖔𝖇 𝖍𝖊𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖍𝖒 :) 𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖉𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑? 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖗

jack shit up to level 9k! hell yea im keeping this one its not ugly at all bitch bitch fuck are u doing?! im going home with stone cold carol daddy keeho 1 second forever u asked me to rider? rider long homee away from the sun bitch ew! hahaha nigger! nigger nation never ever contact me again! about desarae hollins gang or family identity ew!

#surfing #delusionals #princeton high school #bye bye club #keeho #p3k #chanhee #the boyz manga #hard candy get bent #bite hurts

[emmiri-bumble]

since my online origin is actually tumblr i feel a bit more open with like.. being unhinged about Dotty and her DN rewrite timeline and endorsing the fact that Naomi/Noddy, L's daughter, and Natsuki/Nat, Light's daughter, are absolutely some of my all time favorite characters that ive written (largely based on funnee family videos)

(please accept the crungled quality im working with scraps) And if youre not familiar with my DN rewritten; In short the synopsis is "What if L always had a friend from the start?", " What if people were allowed to be lgbt+?", and "What if i spat in the face of the god of all death itself?"

Anyways Dot has a kid with L and Light. Thats how it be. Here's a bunch of the greatest hits of Nat and Noddy

~ Someone's filming L L knocks on Naomi's bedroom door Baby Naomi opens it Naomi: ba? L: hello miss I'm selling girl guide cookies, are you interested in buying a box? They're £2.75 each. Naomi: uuuh- L: I have all the kinds. Thin mints… Shortbreads… Samoas Naomi: no no bah bah L: ok thank you byyye -Naomi closes the door- Mello, loudly, inside that room: Naomi did you seriously just send that poor scout away without buying me nothin??? L starts giggling quietly so hard that he has to brace himself against the wall. Mello, play yelling: WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE??? Naomi: BABABABAGHAA!!!!!!!! L practically collapses ~ L gently feeding months old Naomi her first lemon slice while out to dinner. Naomi: gbbh. She sucks on it. Naomi: buh…gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! L: yeah it's bad without sugar, isn't it?

L feeds months old Nat her first lemon slice while out at dinner. Nat: ubbu? Nat suckles on it longer than Noddy and L takes it away. Nat: eeehehehe!! She leans in for more. L: weird. Light: ….weird.

~

Naomi: What game you playin, Lollie? Ollie, too focused: hm? Near: he's playing "paying the bills" Naomi: is he winning? Ollie: no.

~ BB: don't you want to get a job someday? Naomi: no because i don't want to be sad.

~ Mello: have fun at school! Naomi: that's not how school works.

~ Naomi: Beebee tell me which hand has a sock in it!!!! B looks and sees Naomi holding out two hands, palm up. With one hand that's clearly clenched around a sock. B: you're the child of the smartest people i know. Naomi: i know that thank you! B: and you're stupid if you think I'm fooled. Naomi: don't… Don't be naughty :' 0

~ Isaiah: what do you have there? Naomi: butter knife. Isaiah: for…what? You're not cooking. I am. Ollie: we are. Naomi: for..buttering things. Ollie: in your bedroom? Naomi backs away quickly Isaiah: .. there better be butter in that fridge. ~

Naomi: YALL ARE A NIGHTMARE!!!!!! Naomi runs up the stairs on all fours to go sulk in her room

B: SHES RIGHT. IM GONNA GO COMFORT THE BUGBEAR!!! B storms up after her in much the same way ~

Matt: okay kids! Sandwich dinner time! Naomi: i did TOO MUCH homework to be getting LOUSY SAMMIES for dinners!! Nat: YAH. Matt: OH~ SORRY IM NOT UNCLE OLLIE~!! ~

Nats at a play place in a childrens museum trying to draw at a station. One little insufferable boy keeps tugging her paper. Over and over. Nat keeps yelling at him to stop. Light and Dot are both there intensely watching her. His parents are nowhere to be seen. Maybe. Nat: stoop!!! Boy: ~stooop~ Nat: i mean it dude!! Boy: i don't care, your drawing sucks. Nat: ugh- She throws down her pencil and stands up. Nat: OH IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHY DONT YOU JUST GO VISIT YOUR DAD PICKING UP TRASH ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY WITH THE OTHER INMATES!?? Dot: oop-! Too real!! She scuttles over to disarm her kid

~

Naomi: Daddy up!!!! L: ok, nugget. He picks her up into his chair Naomi: I'm gonna be mommy now. L: haha, fine by me. Naomi reaches for the computer and points at it Naomi: aw shit! She pulls over a stack of documents and pretends to look through them. Naomi: Aw mother fucker! Oh, L, you idiot! Neenee you bastard you bought- you- you did all the spending for the whole three years! God damn it!! L: ….we need to have a talk with mommy about swearing.

~

Jules: take this biscuit. She drops toddler Naomi off at Nears side. Naomi: nee nee. Jules: she developed a new hobby and i don't admire that shit in my kitchen. Near: what….did she do? Jules: she took a bite out of every piece of produce on the counter. Every. Single. One.

~ Dot: baby, you have to slow down and breathe in and out. Nat: IIIIIIII DONTTT WAAAAAAANNNAAAAAA Near: I'll breathe with you, let's follow mommy. Dot: ok breathe in. Deeep. They both breath in. Dot: breathe outtttttt. They both breathe out. They do this a few more times. Naomi in another room: NAAAASUGII! Nat stops breathing Nat: HOL ON IM BREATHING HERE!! Nat goes back to her deep breathing Near starts giggling, ruining it.

~ Video of Mello pointing at a smudge on the wall. Interrogating Naomi. Mello: what is it? Naomi: ….. knowledge. Mello: knowledge?? Naomi: yeah cause i squished the bug. Mello: and all his knowledge came out? Naomi: it's sad. Mello: it is. Mello: stop slamming bugs on the wall.

~ Shows baby Naomi a picture of Mello Dot: who's that?? Naomi starts smiling and giggling uncontrollably. Dot: who is it?? Naomi screams in delight. Mello, in the distance: I've never felt more validated in my life. L: every day my approval becomes more and more like chopped liver to him.

~ Video of Mello standing in the doorway, 8 month old Naomi is outside and soaking wet, its been raining. Naomi, with gusto: ghgbgbyeeey byteeebyeeee ghggugugus ddaddbaba!!! Mello: I dont think so Naomi Gage, get in here. Naomi, more angry, arguing even harder: gagabgaasusbufusubuuuru!!!!! Mello: No means no, young lady, youre coming in before you catch your death. Naomi: NAANANANA lebeebesbsbe guggugddaaa!!!!! L, behind the camera: try this -he holds out his hand, theres a snickerdoodle cookie in it- L: Nooooddy, come inside and share a biscuit with daddy. Naomi, nodding: ba. -naomi walks in, ignoring mello-

~ Video of Naomi (1 ish) picking up her toys and aggressively explaining them to Near Naomi: gughghgd babaaab gagaaaa huhuhbuuububu bbb!! Near: ….okay.. -Naomi tosses that one down and picks up another- Naomi: BABABABABABABA aababagsgugugu gugugugugbebemmmmmmmba! Near: ………………. Dot, filming: oh lord we gon' have our hands real full… -Dot holds up the positive pregnancy test that no ones seen yet- Naomi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAABABABABAB GUGUGUGUGUGSSSSAAAAAAAAA Near: I get it, Naomi. i get it -Naomi takes a step closer and shakes the train in her hand- Naomi: AAABABA bublblblblblbblblblbblblbllll!!!!! Naomi: MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Dot: wha? Naomi: AAABABABABABABABABAB! She's waving the train Dot: yeah it is! Naomi: ( : !

~ Video of Baby Nat proudly sitting on top of an overturned plastic tub. muffled sounds in tub B: Natsuki Nat: ba? B: get off the tub. Nat: waaaa?? B: whats in the tub? Naomi, muffled: Get off, Stinksuki!! Nat: uhh gggbhbg. B: is that your big sister? Nat: noh. B: well get off the tub and let me see. Naomi: Im loosing air you big jerk! -Nat crawls off the tub and Naomi immediately bursts out- Naomi, 3: She twied to Kill ME!!! B: eh it runs in the family

~ Nat, 5 months. Sitting in Matt's lap. Matt, pointing: are you gonna smile at NeeNee? Matt: is she smiling? Near: yes she is. Hello Natsuki. Nat: Baaa!! Matt, pointing again: smile at Uncle B? B gives her a crazy grin back. Matt points once more: smile at papa? Nat wriggles. Light: what? No smile for your father? Nat: bbbbb noh. Everyone: HER FIRST WORD!!! ~

video of Nat, 3, outside and holding a stick Nat: is this a bug? Dot: no. Its a stick. Nat: hm. Dot: its a stick bug!! -nat drops the stick like mid sentence- Nat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

~

Video of Natsuki's first steps -She takes two shaky steps towards Ryuk and then falls and starts crying.- Ryuk: that didnt hurt, i know that didnt. stop crying. Ollie: shes crying because shes upset that she couldnt walk up to you on her own. Ryuk: :0 Ryuk: oh, it's ok Natsuki. -Ryuk picks her up and slings her over his shoulder like she likes- Nat: bbbbbbbbbrrrrr Ryuk: she weirds me out sometimes… Ollie: humans are weird. Jules, filming this: fuck we cant show Grandma Yagami this one. Light: NO I NEED A VIDEO TO SHOW MOM AND SAYU, WE HAVE TO STAGE A NEW ONE

~

Dot: Yeah. they came out of me She points at her kids Naomi: I WAS IN HER POCKET

~

Natsuki, 3, in the car. Nat: I will get a biscuit. Wight. Now. This. Minnite. Ollie: how about you ask for one. Nat: a. Biscuit. Now. Ollie: no, you gotta ask and say please too. Nat: I can get a biscuit, peas. Nat, quieter: wight now.

~

- A series of short videos consisting of Naomi and Natsuki throwing a slice of cheese on an unsuspecting family member

Eventually Jules joins their fun with them. She was never cheesed.

Starts with them throwing a slice on a quietly snoring Light. Hes spooked awake and stares at them with rage.

Cuts to them throwing one on Near from behind. He dosent react, he just picks the slice out of his hair and starts pulling off pieces to pop in his mouth.

Cuts to them throwing the slice on Dot as she walks into the room. Dot: -SHRIEK- Dot: oh hey, is this muenster? score.

Cuts to them throwing a slice on Mello, slapping it right over his scar. Mello flinches, looks at the girls (Now featuring Jules!) and deadpan goes Mello: am i pretty now?

Cuts to them throwing a slice onto L from behind but they miss his head and slam his back audibly L: -Shrieks and jumps- Light, barreling for them: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THROWING CHEESE AND SURPRISE ATTACKING YOUR FATHER!? The gals: -Shrieks- L, softly in the background: oh, cheese.

Cuts to video of them walking up to Matt as he gets out of his car and slapping the cheese over his goggles Matt: -shrieks- Matt: oh hey, muenster. Score.

Cuts to them throwing a slice on Ollie while hes standing at the kitchen counter distracted. He effortlessly slaps the cheese away before it even hits him. Girls: HOW?

Cuts to them throwing a slice on an unsuspecting B who immediately turns around and SLAMS it back onto Naomi's face.

~

Nat, 5 ish. Sliding down a slide on a wet autumn day Nat dismounts Nat: woh. Light: what is it? Nat: my bum jus got all wet. Nat stands and stares a little awkwardly, reaches back and wipes leaves off her butt, and then skitters off Dot: …………… Light: ………………. Dot, whispering aggressively: the ultimate fusion of meee and youuuuuuuu

~

Ollie takes a pic of the fam sitting on the couch after taking Nat home from the hospital. Naomi in L's lap. L clearly with red all around his eyes from crying. Nat is swaddled in Light's arms. Dot in the middle pointing at both kids. Ollie: saaay uhhh. Near behind him: death of the american dream. Ollie: no, say siblinghood Them: Siblinghood! Naomi: Iiiblin!!

~

Video of Near holding baby Nat in the garage. Nats screaming with delight while Mello repeatedly revs his motorcycle's engine. Near: this is hell on my ears but it's doing wonders for my heart. Nat: AAAAA! AAAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE!!!

~

Naomi, 10: UNCLE NEE LOOK AT THIS SHIRT WE FOUND AT THE MALL Near shuffles up to read the girls matching shirts It says "love is always near" Near: i- may cry a little. Nat, 8: do it.

~

Naomi, 1 ish and sitting on the counter in the kitchen Mr. W: are you filming? L: yeah. Mr. W: hands out, please Mr. W pops a raspberry on a finger. and proceeds to do that with all the rest on that hand Mr. W: and there is, what my Nan used to call, "The bum handimans fingers" -Naomi opens wide and pops one in her mouth- L: that sounds unsavory Mr.W: i never said my Nan was a refined lady.

~

Near: hello Odette, would you like to see why I don't like being in charge of the kids? -Dot turns around- Dot: huh? Near, in a tee-shirt, holding up his pj shirt to show Dot the damage. Dot: ah. Near: your's and L's crotch dumpling intentionally, and quite gently may I add- Dot: got spaghetti on you… Near, gritting teeth: -pushed the bowl against my back while I was turned away Dot: you didn't try to watch her do her spaghetti slurpini. That's why she did that.

~

-distant sound of a recorder playing "Hot Crossed Buns"- Dot: ohh Noddy youre practicing and i didnt even have to ask! Naomi turns around to reveal shes playing it through her nostril Dot: why can't you do anything normal? Naomi: Because im your daughter, BAyBEE! Dot: i can respect that Naomi goes back to playing via nose

~

Mello taking a selfie video while laying down. 3 year old Naomi is lightly tracing his burn scars with her finger. Mello, to the camera: hey Nods, I thought we were napping. Naomi, sleepily: I gotta touch the bumps. Mello: you gotta touch the bumps? Why? Naomi: cos I love them. Mello somewhat starts cracking up and tearing up at the same time and he frantically ends the video there

~

Mello: i can count on one hand how many times ive cried. Matt: no you cant Mello: every time was for either my momma or for L Matt: bullshit Mello: i, however, have absolutely lost count of the amount of times Naomi has made me cry this week Naomi: is ok lello is okaaay!! Mello: you want up? Naomi: is ok lello i make it bettur -Mello picks her up- Naomi: you gonna b okay, misturr Mello, tearing up: ah here i go again

~

PawPaw with a giant wad of bills in one hand and Baby Naomi resting in the nook of the other. He hands the money to Naomi. Isaiah: here's your allowance. Dot: Professor Dad, She's one. Isaiah: yeah? And she's my granddaughter. Isaiah: Here's your allowance, baby

~

Mello: oh no why's Nat crying today? Naomi, trudging out of Wammys with a weepy Nat in tow Nat: MY NuH NoH AAAAADDAAA Naomi: hhhh her substitute teacher kept hearing everyone call her Nat and she kept calling her "Natalie" all day long Mello: ohhhh. Hey Nat, Nat: HUUUWAaaa muh muhh meeewwooooo -Mello crouches down and picks the poor little thing up- Mello: all my teachers kept on calling me "Michael" when i went here. Nat: aaaaahaaaa---mmmmmm Mello: isnt that silly? we have the same problem. Nat, calming down: hehe

~

Naomi to L: Papa wouldnt let me be you for halloween. L: oh no thats terrible. Naomi: Cause Nat wanted to be Kira. L: ohh…no thats terrible. Naomi: so.. can you be you and Papa be Kira for halloween, pleeeas? L: no. Naomi: bu- L: No. its my birthday. I will be a vampire again end of story.

~

1st time trick or treating with Naomi and newbie Nat Naomi in a grim reaper costume. Nats… in a sling and Ollies carrying her Neighbor: ohh hello! Are you here for candy little reaper? Naomi: uh. Trikkortreat! Neighbor: here you go little reaper. Naomi: thank you -naomi starts walking off- -Naomi turns right back around- Naomi: Hey- didju know um. Is my daddys birthday? Neighbor: Oh? well. Naomi: he- hes the vampire! Neighbor squinting at L who is meekly waving Neighbor: Happy birthday Mr. Vampire! L, barely audible to her: Thank you Madame! Beyond: ITS THEIR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TOO!

~

Naomi: WAAAAAhaaha- SHE ATE MY CAKE. Mello: she ate your cake? i didnt get you two any cake out of the fridge. Naomi: Sh- SHE ATE -cough- MY IMAGINARY CAKE N CAUS I-T ITS MY PLAY BIRTHDAY WAAAAA SHE ATE ALL IT Mello: hhhh… Mello walks into Nat hiding in another room Mello: Nat, did you eat Noddy's cake Nat: no i dinnit is in ma haand. Mello: the imaginary cake is still in your hand? Naomi: SHE. ATE. IT. ALL. Mello: ok go give it back to Nods, shes very sad you took it. Nat: is.. ok. iss imma hand see? Mello: yes i see it, lets go back and make things right. Nat: Okie lello, Noddie is ok is in mah hand still i got cake for you!

~

Baby naomi in her walker toddles into the kitchen while Ollie's cooking. Naomi: Guh. Near, on the counter doing jack shit: Guh! Naomi: nn guh. guh guh bububububuh bbbbb Naomi walks out like they just had a good talk Near: she has things to do, Ollie. So cook faster.

~

Naomi, barely able to talk: daddy birdy ..-inaudible- oh heeahd signs for poop and head Dot: a bird pooped on dads head on your walk? namoi nods solemly Dot: oh thats terrible im so sorry for daddy. Dot pans camera over to L, hanging up his coat and shaking his head, clearly no bird poo on him Dot: oh no thats terrible, daddy. im sorry.

~

Ollie: you can't make Nat open your present, Nods! Naomi: yes I can! Ollie: Nooo! Just because it's not Natsuki's Christmas gifts it doesn't mean you won't get in trouble for using Nat to ruin your surprise! Naomi: yeah buh daddy said- daddy.. he said if I open my present early it turns to underwear. Ollie: oh he did? Naomi: so.. so if you open yours it's not a toy anymore but if .. if uhh if you get your sister to open it it won't turn to nothing cause sh- cause Natsuki isn't me so the gift stays a good one! Ollie: so you think you found a loophole? Naomi: yes. Ollie: fair enough. Go tell your Dad, he'll be so pissed that he didn't see that.

~

Dot: when you give a mouse a cookie… Naomi: he chokes on it and dies. She shoves the toy she was chewing on back in her mouth

~

Nat sitting on Ollie's lap as usual Light: ok Nat, tell me again for the camera.. why do you think youre growing body hair? Nat: cos… i give Ollie too many hugs. Nat flops her body down onto Ollie in a big hug. Ollie: 🥺 💕

~

And my all time favorite:

Mello: look, look, Nat there's a lady bug on the walkway. Nat: a ladeebog? Nat toddles up and stomps on it several times Nat: buh byeee. Near: buh bye bug. Mello: tch- you're surely your dad's daughter.

~

And uh. wow you read all this? thenks

#OhDearDotty

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Whenever I write these it’s always when I have a pile of requests on my desk that I said I was going to get to but never do. I even missed a day yesterday because I crashed and burned and slept the entire day haha. Might miss today too since I’m going out to see my mum. 

This is like 90% crack and 10% actual content. I’m gonna post this and proceed to have shock therapy and wipe it from my memory.

I just want to be happy and it’s cold af where I live. I’ve also learned from maagdalen that Russia is insane with snow.  

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to asoundofdrop. Ty for the love on the Childe HCs hehe. Honestly, just the fact you tag everything blows my mind because I hate tagging so just seeing you do it with my mess of tags (back when I screamed my feelings before tumblr dropped the ban hammer on me) is like wow. That’s some next level effort, wish I had that haha;; I’m just gonna say this in advance, I am so sorry for the mess of tags I’m about to drop on this. 

---

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji  @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz​

@youaskedfurret @snowy224 @mayumintsu​ @tigerpriestess

---

Xiao

Excuse me? What is this cold you speak of? He’s an adepti he doesn’t know what cold is. Is it a demon he’s not aware of? Should he go beat it into submission if that’ll make you feel better? He’s already gone with his spear and out to go slay this cold demon before you can explain what the hell temperature is. 

By the time he’s back, he seems so proud of himself for killing a dragonspine yeti that you don’t have the heart to tell him that was literally not what you wanted or expected him to do. Your fingers are about to break their finger kneecaps. pLEASE sir just hold my hand. 

Bad idea, he’s been outside in the cold and he’s not exactly wearing mittens so your fingers end up colder. But you’re finally holding his hand that you suck it up and cry when he does actually break your fingers because he doesn’t know what muscle control is. 

Keqing

Ruthless business woman one second and then you show up, tell her you’re cold, and she’s reduced to flustered mother hen. All she has on her are these long sleeves that all Qixing wear. Would you like some warm milk? She knows you like your milk heated to a simmer right at 187.7975 degrees Fahrenheit.

Okay, first off, who measures in fahrenheit anymore this is China Liyue. Second off, how the hell does she know that and why is it so precise? She’s already throwing whatever Liyue duties she had back at the poor worker that has no idea what possessed the normally confident and admirable Keqing into this...creature. Making new plans for a heating system in Liyue while also coddling you. 

Catch her outside at 3am pounding the snow ground, crying, as she curses Rex Lapis for making it so cold in Liyue when he’s not even the Cyro archon. Zhongli sneezed while looking over papers burning the 3am oil. Maybe he needs to go home before it gets too cold, he might be getting sick. 

Diluc

God you’re such an idiot. Didn’t you see how hard the snow was falling? I can’t believe I married someone with 2 braincells. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What would father in the sky think if my partner died because of frost bite when I’m a goddamn pyro vision user? I can commit arson to make a make-shift fire place, I have the money for the damages. 

Dilu- NO I DON’T NEED YOUR SHIRT. IT’S -20 DEGRESS. IT’S OKAY. YOUR COAT IS ENOUGH. PUT YOUR CLAYMORE AWAY WE CANNOT SET THE KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS HQ ON FIRE WE AREN’T EVEN NEAR THERE. KAEYA IS INSIDE- DILUC - NO COME BACK. 

Your make shift fireplace is Kaeya’s “ugly” scarf. That’s it. That’s the post. 

Amber

Oh you’re cold? It’s okay, here take her baron bunny to cuddle with while she lights a fire. She thinks she saw some boar’s in the forest, she can make her specialty and that should warm you right up! So sweet, so wholesome. Don’t worry this baron bunny won’t explode in your face, she tripled checked she wasn’t giving you a dancing bomb.

While you’re huddled around a summoning circle of baron bunny’s, nice and warm, is when she relaxes and joins you. She grins to herself and pats herself on the shoulder. See that haters, she can make her partner nice and happy without your #buffamberwhen. 

Kaeya

You’re cold? Maybe you’ve just fallen so hard for him that whenever you think of him you get cold. He never knew you cared so much it’s so cut- okok you can stop hitting him now. He’ll offer his scarf if he had one but Diluc might have burned it but he does have his tit window. 

Basically impenetrable, you could bounce bullets off it so naturally the cold bounces off. You have to tell him up front that he sound borderline crazy and the fbi are already at his door. The fbi is Diluc. So instead he offers his overcoat and asks you if you would like to join him in some cozy tavern that hopefully has heating. 

It’s a nice and comforting experience until he drags you to Angel share and you know it’s just to 1v1 Diluc in the parking lot. 

Scaramouche

lol perish 

So naturally, you grab his ridiculous hat that he wears to compensate for his gremlin height and throw it like a frisbee. 

Go fetch 

---

God, why is there no official content of you scaramouche you bitch, you’re ruining the aesthetic. This is why I only give you one point of dialogue. This isn’t even funny. It’s a therapy session. This entire post was just for me to say tit window because I didn’t get to say it in my last Kaeya fic. 

Wow, I wonder which characters I like in genshin. Could it be “wow I hate everything and everyone don’t fucking touch me” male characters??? Could it be “Head strong but are secretly adorable” female characters?? Kaeya is only there because Diluc is there. 

I had to redo all my headers because everyone was taking up so much space in their 240p quality. Keqing is the only one that actually stepped forward when it was picture day. I don’t have enough energy to care about sizing I’m sorry. 

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin crack #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #genshin impact xiao #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya x reader #genshin impact kaeya #scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #genshin amber #amber x reader #genshin amber x reader #genshin diluc #genshin diluc x reader #diluc x reader #genshin keqing #keqing x reader #genshin keqing x reader

[beth-march]

the only light we’ll see - ch 1

Summary:

The summer that Rue relapses, two guilt stricken friends turn to each other for solace, and find something more along the way.

A/N:

This is the start of the fic where Fez and Lexi are in an established relationship all throughout Season 1. Please let me know if you would like me to post all future chapters on Tumblr or if you’re happy reading on Ao3 :-)

Read on Ao3 here or under the cut

The girl wears a ribbon in her hair.

It is silk lilac, and it flutters in her gentle brown waves. She is honeyed by the summer sunlight, enveloped by a faint golden glisten. For a fleeting moment, Fezco considers how she is haloed, considers her sweet, pretty face, and is reminded of an angel.

She looks very much out of place on his doorstep. She bears no resemblance to any other person who has lingered there before. She even looks out of place next to Rue, and if not for the way that she clings close to Rue, Fez might have assumed that the girl had wound up at his house by complete mistake.

“Hey there,” Fez greets, opening the screen door.

“Hey, Fez!” Rue says, her grin already wicked. “This here is my friend, Lexi. We’re about to get her stoned for the first time. You gotta hook her up on that good, hard shit, you catch my drift? We’re really gonna fuck her up.”

In an instant, alarm blossoms rosy on Lexi’s little face.

“What?!” she yelps, turning to her friend. “That’s not what you said!”

Rue bursts out laughing, and Fez is stolen by a frown. He has no idea what she is thinking, bringing someone like Lexi around to his place. It seems unlikely that the girls even know each other, let alone like each other. Lexi, who shines with innocence and demurity, and who coordinates the colour of her hair ribbon with her lacy cardigan and the flowers on her dress, does not strike Fez as the kind of person Rue would keep company in. Curiosity rises, a question of how they came to be friends, of how they have managed to stay friends - if the sad, annoyed look on Lexi’s face is any indication, Fez has an inkling that it has involved a lot of quiet tolerance of this kind of teasing.

“Come on, now, Rue, leave the poor girl alone,” Fez huffs, throwing Lexi an apologetic look. “What you really want?”

“Well, I do want weed, but it’s not for Lexi. You got anything for me?”

There is no reason to feel strange about this. Not when it happens every other week, and it is clear that Lexi has no doubts about what it is that Fez does for a living.

Qualms, in all likelihood, but not doubts.

Fez pushes aside whatever trepidation he feels about handing product over in Lexi’s proximity, and steps aside from the door, ushering the girls inside. It is always very informal with Rue, and he wonders if this somehow improves the sheer shadiness of everything. He wonders why it is that he even cares.

“Thanks, Fez,” Rue says, stashing the bags away with an impishness to suggest that she’s a child who has just been gifted chocolate, and intends to eat it before dinner.

(Of course, she’s spoiling a lot more than her appetite. The thought occurs to him, but it does not feel like his own - he hears it in Lexi’s voice. He can see the pensive quality to her expression, the worry in her doe eyes, and he almost envies it, the luxury she has in wearing her emotions on her sleeve.)

“I’m just gonna use your bathroom, and then we’ll be out,” Rue adds, dropping her bag, twisting around in pursuit of his hallway.

“Rue,” Lexi hisses, trying for discretion, but Fez hears her. He understands why she doesn’t want to be left alone with a stranger, especially with the connotations of him being a drug dealer, but it still saddens him, to watch her posture stiffen.

But she is polite, even if she is nervous. She turns on her heel, offers Fez a smile.

“Um,” she says, uncertainly. “You have a really nice home.”

It is probably the last thing Fez expects her to say. It is surprising, what follows in his chest, a stirring of something foreign, something strangely soft.

“Shit, you think so?” Fez asks. “I know it’s kinda a trip, feels like you stepped in a time machine. But my grandma decorated it, so I didn’t wanna change nothin’.”

“Oh,” Lexi says. She sounds just as surprised by his answer as he had been by her question.

“So, how’s your summer goin’?” he adds, leaning against the wall.

“It’s good!” she answers, folding her hands over her front. “I mean, it’s been quiet, but I don’t mind the quiet. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It feels like I never have time to read for pleasure during the school year, so it’s been good to have the chance to work through my reading list - and, well, you don’t really care about all that.”

Her brief ramble dies amidst frantic chuckles, and Fez is confused by the way she has wilted, by the way that her thin shoulders have shrunk in on themselves.

“Sure I do,” he says. “I get what you mean. You on break, you got time for you, you got time to be quiet. I like that, too. Like to have some peace, when I can.”

The worry disappears, and is replaced by something thoughtful. “I suppose you wouldn’t really get many breaks, though, would you?”

“No the fuck I don’t,” Fez says, sighing, but he grins, so she knows he’s making light of it. A Mondays, right? type of joke, something mundane and reminiscent of work day drudgery, something she can maybe relate to.

Lexi smiles, too, and it is only a small curve, but it is radiant. She still has her arms wound around herself, and she ducks her chin, curling up tighter. Fez doesn’t know what to make of her - how she seems so quick to emerge and then delve back into her shell every few seconds - but he does know that he likes her smile.

“Can I ask you something kind of… personal?” Lexi asks, in a hush.

“Go ahead.”

“Are most of your clients like Rue?”

“What you mean?”

“I don’t know,” Lexi admits, faltering. “I guess… Erratic? Unpredictable?”

Fez tries not to laugh. “You ain’t spendin’ much time around drug users, I take it?”

There’s wry humour in her expression. It is endlessly intriguing.

“No, I know,” she assures him. “I’m not stupid, I know. But this is Rue. I’ve known her forever, and she’s always had, well, difficulties, in her life, but I’ve never seen her like this before. I’m worried about her. Like, really worried.”

It comes bursting out of her, a wave of salt, and it furls around them like sea foam, enveloping them in her sadness. It is quiet in this hallway, and their window is passing, and Fez can see the desperation in this stranger. She has found a person to speak to about a matter she has been holding close to her heart for far too long.

He wants to reassure her.

“It’s only weed, I sold her today,” he says.

“But that’s not the only thing you’ve sold to her, is it?” Lexi asks. It’s not quite accusatory, her tone, and he doesn’t think she means to insult him personally - but the implication is inevitable, when she’s confiding in him about how scared she is of a friend being pierced, and he is the one who is handing over the sharp objects.

Like an intrusion, Rue returns, and she slips an arm around Lexi. She is so much taller than Lexi, and Fez wonders if it is because she is particularly tall or because Lexi is particularly short. He knows it’s the former, because Rue can look him in the eye without difficulty, but he’s still struck by Lexi’s littleness. Endeared to it, even.

“Thank you, Fez! You’re the best,” Rue sing-songs, already steering Lexi towards the front door. “Until next time, I bid you fuckin’ adieu - ”

“Yo, wait up,” Fez says, trailing after them. He is worried about Lexi’s worry, because he might not know her, but she has bestowed it upon him, and now it will stay with him, he knows it will linger.

“Sorry, Fez, places to go, people to see, you know how it is!” Rue says.

He has a new idea of what Lexi means by erratic. It seems emphasised, all of the sudden, as he watches Rue tug Lexi away, back towards their bikes. The pace she picks is fast, and the hold she has on her friend seems tight, severe.

Lexi turns for a final look at him over her shoulder, and her hair swishes around her shoulders in her movement. Fez supposes that she doesn’t expect him to be looking at her, because she quickly goes red, quickly turns away from him.

Fez makes haste to disappear, as well. But he watches from the window, as the girls take off on their bikes. He watches Lexi, fixates on her hair ribbons as they ripple in the breeze. He considers the ends, cut pristine like lavender snake tongues.

True to his prediction, the worry lingers.

-

Three weeks later, Rue overdoses.

There’s gossip about it at a party, and at first, Fezco dismisses it. People are talking about Rue having died, and that seems melodramatic enough to ignore it completely. It isn’t until he overhears Cassie Howard whispering to her friends about how distraught her little sister, Lexi, is, that Fez realises there must be substance to it.

The breath escapes his throat, and the haze of the party becomes overwhelming. In the calamity of his sudden anguish, Fez finds a getaway, slips from the house to settle on the back steps that lead out into the garden.

Inside, the party goes on, and it seems absurd, that life could go on, when a girl he knows, a girl he loves, has almost died. Vermilion lights shine through the windows and stain the leaves of the nearby trees with a sickly gloss.

The pictures come and won’t leave. Rue, tangled on the floor, in her sheets, covered in vomit, covered in a grey tinge. Fez doesn’t know the details, and wishes he did in the same instant of his gratitude not to know. He wants far away from this, and he wants to be in the middle of it, he wants to be the one to help.

He wants to help, where before he has only hurt.

“Fuck,” he says softly. “Rue.”

-

Lexi Howard strides into his store, and under any other circumstances, Fez thinks he would be happy about it. The girl had certainly left an impression on him, with her doe eyes, her bright smile, and the way she had let her compassion flow.

But she is so dolorous it envelopes her. She is ostentatious with it, her eyes puffy, her mouth wobbly. She wears her hair in two plaits, exposing her youth, and there isn’t any makeup on her face but she’s no less pretty than she was the day he met her.

Her hands are stiff by her sides. The way they curl holds a quiet violence of her own.

“You here to have it out with me?” Fez greets her, with a weary smile.

“No,” Lexi says, around a heavy breath. “I’m here for someone who understands.”

Surprise unfurls, and he cannot obscure it. She should hate him, the way that he has come to hate himself, since he has realised what he has done.

“And you chose me?”

“I mean, I wish you hadn’t dealt to her,” Lexi says. “Obviously, I wish that. I wish that none of this had ever happened. But it did. And it’s not like you had a way of knowing. It’s not like you’re close to her, it’s not like you know her.”

It takes him a moment to process this. There was always the chance that it might end this way. There were probably warning signs he could have picked out, especially after Lexi expressed her concern. Instead, he had done nothing.

His guilt is something with teeth, something that gnaws at his insides and refuses to relent. But indulging his guilt seems selfish, inconsequential in the face of what has happened to Rue. So he keeps it to himself, grapples with it on his own.

Until now. Until he has found himself faced with this girl.

“That’s where you wrong,” Fez sighs. “I do know her. Thought I did, anyway.”

“Fine then, fuck you,” she says.

It’s a weak joke, but it takes him off guard, and it is so incongruous, from what he knows about Lexi, that he still laughs. The sound tumbles out helplessly.

“That make you feel any better, kid?”

There are tears in her eyes, as she shakes her head. She brushes the first glaze away with her thin, graceful fingers, trying to hide that she is crying, but her voice pinches when she speaks, giving away how close she is to outright whimpering.

“No,” she tells him. “No, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, you good. You’re just playin’. But I wouldn’t be mad if you were for real.”

Something seems to dawn on her, and she regards him with curious eyes.

“Are you… feeling alright?” Lexi asks.

What a question. He thinks to nod his head yes, to shake his head no, on mumbling something vague, and settles on simply staring at her, offering an answer with the depth of trouble in his eyes. He hopes she doesn’t mind the blue gore.

He finds strange confidence in what he sees flickering in her gaze. An understanding, of sorts, an unshakeable thought of something shared.

“What about you?” he asks.

“I’m just…” Lexi spills with an incredulous laugh. “Rue has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I don’t even recognise her. I don’t know what the fuck happened to her. Or what the fuck happened to me. Why didn’t I tell her mom? I was planning on it for weeks, I even told her I was going to - but the moment she said something mean to me, the second I got my fucking feelings hurt, I caved.”

It is quick to make sense. Her guilt has teeth, too.

How unjust, when she is innocent in all this. Fez rushes to make her understand.

“You don’t gotta take any of that shit on, alright?” he tells her. “Rue made the choices she made. You can’t control addicts, you can’t make them stop, it’s on them. It fuckin’ sucks, but that’s the way shit goes, and there ain’t another way around it.”

She stares. In the quiet, he notices the shape of her throat, the shift of her breathing, how it seems to come quicker.

“I’m sorry if that ain’t what you wanna hear.”

“No, it’s okay. It makes sense. But I just… I can’t help but feel responsible.”

Unbidden, his feet move, tilting towards her.

“It’s not,” Fez tells her, gently. “There really wasn’t nothin’ you coulda done. On God, and I wouldn't say that for no reason.”

The way that Lexi smiles tells him plenty about her appreciation. She brushes more at her eyes, the sadness they seep, and she asks hoarsely, “Do you think Rue’s gonna be okay?”

(He has no idea. He hadn’t even realised she is a proper addict. He is terrified.)

“Oh, for sure,” Fez says. “That is one wily kid. I just know she gon’ be back on her feet in fuckin’ no time at all, causing trouble again before we know it.”

Lexi manages a laugh, and that he’s drawn it from her becomes his best accomplishment of the day. Fez wants to capture the sound, the sound of sunlight, and keep it woven in the air, a bit of brightness to alleviate the perpertual burdens.

“Thank you, Fezco,” she whispers. “I didn’t think I could feel better, but…”

“That’s aight, you’re welcome,” he says, and offers her a small smile. She is shy, and it is making him feel shy, too. It seems a strange way for empathy to form.

But it is not unwelcome.

“I’m sorry,” Lexi adds, twisting her hands together. “I probably shouldn’t have barged in on you like this. I’m sure you have work to do.”

“Yeah, shit’s wild, right about now,” Fez says, nodding at the empty rows. It drags out another laugh, and that makes his smile broaden. “For real, though, I don’t mind you comin’ here. You can stick around a while, if you want.”

There is surprise in her eyes, a kind of wide eyed hopefulness.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

There is no hesitation, for him.

“Not at all.”

“Okay,” Lexi says. And the beauty of her hopeful smile feels like a beginning.

#fexi fic

[elijahlittle]

Toxic Craigslist!Roomate Eren/Reader (Headcannons)

I SENT THESE TO MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ACCOUT @ringpop-poppy AND THEY LIKED THESE HEADCANNONS A LOT, SO I'M GOING TO POST THESE HEADCANNONS ON MY TUMBLR. IF YOU WANT QUALITY, AND I MEAN Q U A L I T Y, SHIT PLEASE ON GOD FOLLOW THEM. I am crying and throwing my hands on the table, I cannot express to you how good their account is. I will say this until the moment I DIE they are the BEST blog on this site. Thank u.

so my friend and i were shooting off some headcannons and we came up with this idea and one second i just need a moment to recuperate myself and that's super shitty NIGHTMARE craigstlist roommate eren yeager and when i tell you it has RUINED my life i mean it has RUINED my life.

so like imagine, you're hard up for a roommate and so you hit up craiglist b/c you know the state of the economy is absolute SHIT and you are kind of in a rush. you end up moving into this two bedroom apartment with some dude on craigslist (eren) whose roommate just moved out.

you don't know it but eren can't keep a roommate to save his LIFE. it's because he's just such an AWFUL roommate. like plays videogames all day. homie has a shit ton of money but literally NOBODY knows where it comes from or where he works. he just disappears and comes back he says it's "work" but never actually says where he works.

throws his feet up on the coffee table and shit, doesn't wipe off his feet when he comes into the apartment, leaves cups out, just does not pick up after himself. eats the last bit of your food but gets mad when you do the same to him, uses your extra toothbrushes, just overall leaves a mess.

the worst part? his room is IMMACULATE. he is FULLY capable of keeping clean, he just likes to crack open a can of whatever the fuck he drinks on the couch, throw his feet up on the table, and watch you bend over and pick up stuff in an angry huff with very steely eyes. this man's eyes are on you ALL the time.

for the most part u put up w/ it because you're just that hard up for a roommate, but the final straw is when he leaves his dishes in the sink for like a week straight

you storm from the kitchen into the living room in an absolute angry huff, face scrunched up from anger, and start just laying into him about doing the fucking dishes like "it's just not that hard!"

the entire time you're raving, he just sits back - hands behind his head. "you done?"

stands up, puts all the dishes up - in a way that you HATE that's not even CORRECT because he has studied the way that you put up the dishes like in the few months he's made living for you hell he has picked up on your small habits.

now he's sitting down on the couch again and you're still ranting and raving at him. he looks super pissed off now.

also did i mention the sexual tension between u two is IMMACULATE?

while you're in the middle of raving, kicks over his soda that's on the table and gets it all over the carpet.

now you're pissed and just raving and bitching. because who the fuck does that?

pushes u on ur knees, bends you over, presses his cock into your ass and keeps u there for a second - grabs a rag from the table, stuffs it in ur mouth, and know what this fucker says?

"clean it up. you might want to get further on your hands and knees -" presses his cock into you, which is obviously very hard against u, "make sure to get nice and deep in there"

leaves to go to his room leaving u shook as fuck. obviously u clean it up b/c holy fuck

tension builds up over the next several weeks and u get closer to levi and erwin, ur local next door gays (or roommates, depending on if u ship them or not). levi won't admit it but he loves u a lot and so does erwin.

eren being really unhappy b/c ur spending so much time with the next door neighbors and not letting him terrorize you

starts banging on levi's door one day, demanding to know where u r. levi answers the door. obviously he can see you over levi's short ass head but homie is a real one and is like "she's not here"

"i can see her she's right -"

levi wacks eren several times with the broom until he goes away.

so u come in late that same night and homie is seething. this is where the sexual tension BUSTS.

so u open the fridge bc you're looking for water, right, bent over and he comes in b/c he heard u come in (he's been waiting for u to come back all night).

very stealthily slips behind you, presses his crotch against ur ass, and gives a nice comfortable shove - wedging u in the fridge

reaches over u, his chest pressed against u, grabbing the water you wanted.

sits there with his crotch pressed into u, slowly drinking the water while ur sitting there, squirming, trying to press ur way out of the fridge, but his hips have you pinned there. u don't know why ur turned on but holy HELL you're turned on. ur pressing ur ass into him and everything, trying to grind into him a bit. you claim to do it b/c ur trying to push him off but he knows why you're really doing it. the entire time u r stuck there, water from the shelf above is just dripping on you. it's cold as fuck bro and ur nipples? hard b/c it's cold.

gets halfway through the water and go "i don't think i want to drink it anymore" dumps the other half of the water on u.

you are dripping in water, t-shirt clinging to u. homie is marveling at how tight ur shirt is clinging to you, how cold you r when ur shivering.

pulls you up by the neck from behind and closes the fridge so he can press u against it

he's whispering in ur ear, asking if u had fun fucking the neighbors b/c "you seem like the kind of slut who would enjoy something like that". it's not like that at all but homie is a jealous guy.

oh yeah did i mention he's a jealous guy?

has his fingers in his mouth while he fucks you from behind for the first time, head pressed against your work schedule that's pinned to the fridge, asking you a slew of shit like

"do you like that?"

"i bet you like cleaning up after me like a lil maid"

i mean he is absolutely ROCKING you against that fridge, fingers in your mouth snapping his hips against urs

"you've just been playing coy w me the entire time, i bet u've been thinking about this for months - i know you have. i can see the way u bend over to put on a show for me when you clean up after my mess like a good lil housewife. good girls just don't wear panties like that and bend over not expecting to get fucked. bet you been waiting for this, dirty whore" ext. ext. ext.

thank u for ur time.

#eren yeager smut #snk #aot #aot smut #bully eren #craiglist roommate eren #eren yeager x y/n #eren x reader #eren x you #aot x you #drabble #eren yeager/reader #eren yeager #snk/reader #aot/reader #aot headcannons #snk headcannons #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin #smut #roommate eren yeager #aot x reader #attack on titan #eren fluff #eren smut

[myfriendscallmearbys]

First smut on tumblr let’s see how this turns out

They/them pronouns

Warnings!:choking, cursing, praising, size kink (mans is 9’6 🙂🕶🤏🏽), btw this is all consensual 👍🏽

──────────────────✧₊∘

You were walking towards bads house ready to talk to him about the egg, it has gone too far and you wanted it to stop. You had no clue why he had some weird attachment to it. You soon arrived at bad’s house which had been over run with Blood vines from the egg, you stared at it for a while before deciding to knock on the door. After a few minutes bad came to the door. “Hi Y/n!” He said, looking down at you “Hey bad, we need to talk.” You said, looking back up at him with a stern expression on your face. “Oh. Well you can come in.” He said, moving over so you could walk in.

“Bad it’s about the egg-“ you were quickly cut off by bad. “OH! Did you want to join? You know you don’t have to ask your one of my closest friends!“ he said, smiling at you. “No bad we need to get rid of it. It’s gone too far look at your house!” You said,pointing out of the window. “No.” He said, towering over you. “B-But bad look at-!” You were quickly cut off my bad. “Y/n we are not getting rid of the egg, in fact, you sound like you need quality time with it.” He said, dragging you by your wrist to the egg. “Wh- hey you don’t have to I’m fine! I like the egg I just-!” You said, trying to keep up with bad. “Don’t lie to me muffin, come on let’s go see the egg.” After a while you both reached the egg, bad turned to meet your gaze holding you by your face.

“Look muffin doesn’t it look beautiful.” He said moving his hand down to your neck “wh-.” You tried to speak, but you were cut off by bad once again. “Listen, I really like you like a lot I have for a while I love you, even I love you so much muffin.” He said, making you face him once again at this point crouching to your level. You cupped your hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss, “I love you too bad but- but this egg is making me feel weird.” You said looking back at the egg. “Oh! That means it’s working!" He said, cupping your face. “Wh-what’s working bad?”

You asked stumbling over your words. He was quick to kiss you, you kissed back still confused about what he said but enjoying this none the less. He moved down to your neck after a while making you whine a bit. Quickly abusing the spot on your neck that he got the most reaction out of. “F-Fuck-!” You squeaked out, now up against one of the cave walls by the egg. “Language, muffin.” He said, grabbing your neck once again. “Hey do you want to do this we don’t have to if you don’t want to, you can tell me to stop.” He said removing his head from your neck. “N-no it’s okay I- I want to I promise.” You said, looking up at him. “Okay muffin.” He said removing his jacket.

You quickly took your shirt off waiting for further instructions. “Hey muffin will you help me?” He said, gestureing to his clearly prominent problems in his pants. “sure s-sit down please.” You said, getting down on your knees. Bad was quick to oblige, you messed with the buttons on his pants till you got them open pulling down his pants. You put the tip of his cock into your mouth swirling your tounge around the tip making bad throw his head back in pleasure with a string of moans coming out of his mouth. “Oh god muffin your mouth feels so good!” You eventually taking at least half of him in your mouth, gagging every now and again not being able to fit all of him in your mouth.

“Oh god, your so tiny compared to me, you feel so good though muffin!” He slurred, grabbing your hair and cumming down your throat. “Oh god! Oh no no I’m sorry I didn’t mean-!” He was cut off by you quickly kissing him, tasting himself on your lips. “It’s fine I don’t mind bad.” You said, unbuttoning and taking off your pants and underwear. You were quickly raised by bads tail your first instinct was to wrap your legs around his waist, accidentally grinding against his cock making him moan loudly.

“Oh muffin I- can I please?” He asked you very needy at this point. You nodded in response. Both of you moan at the feeling of him entering, he stops half way letting you adjust to his size. “Oh- oh god please move bad!” He finds a not too slow pace soon enough. At this point your mind is just blurry of the immense pleasure your feeling, or maybe it’s the egg, you didn’t really care at this point, both of you letting out strings of moans and curse words as you both came. You both sat there, chests heaving with every breath you guys took. “I’m sorry Y/n, let’s go back to my house a-and we can clean up okay.” He said slipping his shirt, underwear and pants on. He put you in his giant jacket and carried you on his back. You soon reached his house where you both took a bath together and ate dinner falling asleep cuddling together.

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Oh god this is horrible- uh anyways if you have any requests I gotchu um if you want an anon or something lmk that’s cool too

#badboyhalo smut #badboyhalo x reader #mcyt smut #dream smp smut #egg bad

[alldayangst]

lovebug (Tom Holland)

GIF is from gaybuckybarnes here on Tumblr. You can access my masterlist here. This was written for @worldoftom’s lolbrosgetsicktoochallenge. The prompt I had was: ‘Tom self diagnoses himself as sick. He’s got all the symptoms. He’s speechless, over the edge and just breathless. He never thought he’d get hit by the ‘love-bug’ again’. Inspired by the song Lovebug by Jonas Brothers!

A/N: Y/N is an assistant director on Cherry in this fic. This has a lot of Cherry (the movie) references but most are explained if you haven’t seen the film. Such as, it was filmed in Cleveland and Morocco, directed by Joe and Anthony Russo. Some scenes in this fic borrow from the movie & I’ve linked clips from the film if you’d like to listen/watch along. WC: 4K.

“Yeah, Mum, I’ve just got like the sorest throat at the moment.” Nikki’s picture cuts in and out on a scrambled screen on the South side of London, her husband’s hand periodically reaching out for her, rubbing her shoulder, then leaving the frame almost as quickly as it came in. Even through the low quality, the pixels dashing about his screen, Tom can make out his mother’s brows knitting together and can’t remove the feeling of utter guilt when he sees her grow redder and redder out of anger, concern and confusion for her son. “But I’ve got Harry here with me.” Harry waves from behind his brother, his trusty mug swapped for a Phoenix Coffee Cup in his spare hand, just to get a taste of the States.

Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. He barely drinks coffee on the other side of the pond, and would bet good money that an at home PG Tips would beat America’s swankiest coffee joint any day. But now, he’s betrayed his usual routine and his body’s all out of whack and his throat is hoarse, he’s breathless even at times.

Harry shoots his mum a half smile to comfort her, but he doesn’t know what it's like to be a mother, and his and Tom’s mouth both form an ‘O’ when Nikki begins to type so hard her screen jolts and Tom swears she’s put a dent in it. “You know what? I’m going to give them a piece of my mind, Tom! They’re overworking you!” Nikki looks intensely to find her baby boy in drug-addled eyes and his jungle of curls on his newly shaven head. She guesses it becomes easier when Tom pushes his face halfway into the screen and pleads like the child he’ll always be to her, “Please, please Mum! I can’t have any days off. Under any circumstances, I need to finish this film!”

Tom turns to his younger brother for help. “Tell her, Harry!”

And as little brothers do best, Harry spills the beans as soon as Tom’s phone is in clutch. “Tom’s fallen in love with the first A.D., Y/N.”

Nikki immediately loses her frown, knowing how love can knock Tom off his feet and blow all the wind out of him. Tom’s father, Dom, re-enters the frame to match Nikki’s grin. He never misses an opportunity to tease. “Oo, caught a case of the love bug, have you?”

Harry has to whip the phone around to dodge Tom’s protesting arms reaching for it again. “Don’t listen to Harry. I’m not in love. I just like Y/N.”

“A lot.” Harry mutters. Tom’s family doesn’t budge any further, knowing how bad Tom was hurt after his last relationship. They weren't sure when the love bug would come back to bite him again. So after they all shared a knowing look, Harry handed Tom his phone back. “I’ll keep you updated. Bye, Mum.”

It all started five weeks ago. Tom, at 24, was beginning to feel like love was trudging up a high hill he couldn’t come down from, where every beat of heart was feeling like an ache on an open wound.  Tom had yet to meet a lover to prove distance makes the heart grow fonder, finding himself in six month long entanglements and illusions of love before things inevitably went sour.

He’d say, perhaps, you were the closest thing to the real deal. The problem was, he didn’t know if you liked him back.

“When life was beginning, I saw -”

“When life was-”

“When life was be-fuck!”

“When life was beginning, I saw you.”

Tom could make a picture book out of the day he first met you. He remembers how your hair looked that day, the speckles of genuinity in your eyes, how your ear-to-ear smile seemed to be a mirror because every time he saw you from then on, he brandished the same beam. He recalls how his eyes went low as he dropped his script to his lap and stared at your lips, so soft and kissable, as you repeated his words back to him: “When life was beginning, I saw you.” Then you chuckled softly as Tom waited patiently for his head and his heart to return to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m dyslexic. I have a bit of trouble reading.”

“It’s cool, I'm the first A.D. That’s what I’m here for.”

You rubbed your hands on the back of your trousers, your mic jostling in your back pocket as you attempted to rid yourself of your nervous, sweaty palms.

“I’m Y/N.” You reached out for a shake only for Tom to cough loudly into his own hand. 

“Fuck! I’m so sorry! That wasn’t me trying to get out of your handshake. I- I-.” Tom looked at his hand for it had failed him for the first time in his life. His hand that had helped him up during handstands, being his crutch through cartwheels and backflips, but had decidedly run out of luck to be on the receiving end of Tom’s monstrous cough impending a handshake with someone his eyes just couldn’t look away from.

You laugh again. Your laugh sounds like melody, Tom muses. Awestruck, he wishes he could play it again, repeat it like a radio hit and never wash himself of the feeling he got when he heard your laugh for the first time.

“It’s all good. I’ll see you around.” You disappear from his trailer, likely on a venture to your own, when Joe and Anthony block his view of you walking away.

Anthony and Joe take on the ghost of you in Tom’s room, “Tom! The man, the myth and the legend!” Joe comes behind him to rub his newly hairless head. “We’re so glad you agreed to do this movie!” 

“Bummed that you’re not coming to the Browns game tonight, though.” Anthony remarks, throwing a football at Joe who sets it in his lap.

“Harry and I, we’re British, mate. We play football with our feet.”

Joe doesn’t know it then, but his next words are the beginning of the end for Tom. He rubs on his football and looks Tom in his eye when he poses, “It’s a shame ‘cause the whole crew’s going. First day of filming celebrations.”

“The whole crew?”

Anthony mumbles an ‘mhm’ as he picks up a framed photo of Tom and RDJ sitting pretty on Tom’s dresser, posing like father and son.

Tom’s usually self assured when he’s on set, but he’s hesitant to say this next improvised line. His voice trails off as he speaks. “Including Y/N?”

“Y/N?” Joe queries, with a smile that’s half scary and half comforting, and the butterflies in Tom’s stomach are begging him not to fuck this up and suddenly every second a word is not spoken feels like hours have passed and he might have ruined things before they’ve even started, gosh he just met you and-

Tom tries to play it cool. “I don’t- they’re cool.” Tom coughs again. “I mean, I don’t really know them but Y/N seems cool I guess.”

Anthony and Joe smile at each other, scrambling to exit. “Whole crew’s going, baby!” Joe beams.

“Please don’t tell Y/N I asked!” Tom shouts before they’re out of earshot.

“Yeah, yeah. Anthony, go long!”

A few hours later, Tom was sitting next to an unamused Harry, you on his left, foam fingers pointing every which way. 

“Are you a big football fan?” Tom asked, imposter syndrome creeping up on him. He had the best seats in the house, but knew not a thing about this sport he’d come down to watch. Meanwhile, crew and crowd alike sat themselves around you guys, cheering leaving throats raw for days to come and a tussle for a foam finger between Joe and Anthony leading to hundreds of sugary popcorn shells scattered on the stadium floor.

“I mean, I wouldn’t ever turn down the option to look at Odell Beckham Jr. Are you?” you replied.

Tom looked over to his brother who sat with his chin in his hand, lips pulled into a thin straight line as his rusty curls were blown about from the wind of brown and orange flags flown from fans behind him. “We could learn to love it.” Tom flashed you a toothy grin, unsure of where to guide the conversation next. He knew for sure that he wanted to keep talking to you, but his ego began putting up a fight, eager to show himself off if you’d have him in any way. Tom sighed. “Truth is, we have no fucking clue what’s going on.” Tom could hear the commentary about a player reaching the end zone, but they were all just words that went into one ear then came straight out of the other.

You giggled. “I have no idea either. We could make up our own rules if you want.”

Tom likes the way you think. He also likes the way you speak. He loves the way you laugh.

“You have a beautiful laugh.” 

You covered your mouth. “Oh, fuck, I hate my laugh!”

“I’d make you laugh a thousand times if I could.”

You pointed to the jumbo screen as Mayfield made a touchdown, unable to stop laughing from sheer nerves as you felt Tom’s hot, burning haze on you. An advert for Cleveland’s Own Phoenix Coffee flashed on the screen as you spoke. “We’ll make our own rules. Every time we see the quarterback pick up the ball, we’ll cheer.”

By the end of the night, Tom is speechless, breathless and over the edge of his chair in faux excitement and anticipation of the quarterback receiving the ball once again. 

“Another coffee?” The service worker asked.

“Yes please!” You and Tom both say in unison, pumped as the quarterback began circling around to collect the ball in open arms.

The footage of the game is cut abruptly as the camera points to a confused, solo Harry; Anthony and Joe are seen at the edge of the frame whispering suggestively and pointing towards Tom, the camera eventually capturing the superstar who looks back up at his own reflection. Poorly green screened hearts flood the screen and the camera pans to include you in the frame too. Tom looks on in horror when he realises what’s going on and how it could be too late, and turns to you.

“I promise I didn’t know this was going on. We don’t have to.” Tom panics. 

You hear him loud and clear, that you don’t have to, but your heart and eleven thousand people are telling you to kiss him otherwise. “Oh well. We should just do it.” you murmur, the bright pink ‘KISSCAM’ logo flashing in and out.

It doesn’t take more than a moment for the gap between you and Tom to close, for your face to get lost behind his, his lips pressing against yours, eyes closed, trusting each other to share your air. This was probably the first thing that night worth cheering for, howls and whistles erupting around you. 

Tom doesn’t understand American football, but he thinks that the best seats in the house could be anywhere next to you.

Harry’s on the phone to his twin brother, Sam, when you and the rest of the crew make it back to the hotel later on. “-Yeah, and Tom spent half the night with the first A.D. cheering and screaming at fuck all.”

The Cleveland Browns lost that night, but Tom remains none the wiser. He stood in the doorway as Harry continued to relay his day to Sam. “Oh, and Tom, Mum said to give her a call, eavesdropper.” He flicks Tom’s reddening nose before closing the door.

A week and a half later, Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. He never has the time anymore to attend ‘real’ football games back home, and he actually understands the game back in Britain. But now, he’s cheered at almost every given opportunity to impress you stupidly, and his chest and voice is suffering as a consequence.

You and Tom walked onto set with your pinkies intertwined, growing closer and closer by the minute, but Tom doesn’t miss how Ciara’s boyfriend visits set every day for her, doesn’t miss how they rub their nose together in this lovey-dovey affection he wishes he could bestow upon you.

The scene wasn’t working.

The crew was beginning to grow restless and Tom silently became more frustrated as the minutes went by and he was unable to get his lines right. He remembers how a week ago, it felt so easy. You were there to correct him when he stumbled upon his lines and you picked him up so effortlessly, a twinkling smile on your face. But then? Then you were different. Your eyes were scrunched up behind the lens of the camera and you were mumbling something to Anthony about how the sun was due to go down in Ohio soon so you needed to hurry along.

“Alright.” you announced. “Take five!”

And Tom was thankful, Ciara perched upon a swing for the scene they were filming, Tom dwindling the rope of the swing under his finger as her boyfriend approached her once again. “Hey dude, are you okay?”

Ciara looked at Tom with the same concern, hands finding home in her boyfriend’s nest of hair. “Yeah, Tom, are you okay?”

Tom coughed into his hand. “Yeah, guys, I’m good.”

“I think you’re coming down with a nasty cough.” Ciara muttered.

“Yeah. It’s you guys. You’re too cute. You make me sick.” Tom laughed humourlessly for a short while, wanting to be that adorable with someone, maybe not anyone, maybe just with you someday. Then Tom shook his head, a bitter feeling in his throat as he yawned. “It’s the Browns game. I was yelling and screaming every time a quarterback got the ball. Of course I’m a little unwell. I’ll be good as new in a few days though.”

Ciara already knew Tom wasn’t playing a man with the healthiest of habits, but she worried that Tom was getting this bad this early. “Maybe you should talk to the first A.D. about reducing shoot days from five to three?”

Tom didn’t like the prospect of seeing you less. “Yeah.” Harry had a clapperboard between his hands, leading Tom’s eyebrows to furrow as his brother yelled something about it being take 13. “Maybe.” 

Harry resumed to a new position in your chair, with you taking Harry’s place right across from Tom, a coffee waiting for him when the scene was over like Harry always did. Ciara’s boyfriend left the frame to watch supportively on the sidelines.

“Lights. Camera. Action!” Anthony called. “Time is money, you guys! Let’s try to get this one right this time.” 

They’d been over this already twelve times today.

“Hey, I’m really happy you’re here.”

Ciara read her line back. “Why’s that?” 

Tom could hear whispers of the crew, the sound guy glaring at them in case they were picked up in the scene, and he knew it had something to do with the fact that he couldn’t for some reason get the next line out all day. And that reason, unbeknownst to everyone, was because Tom couldn’t say something he didn’t mean - feeling like his heart was locked in a cage for which only you had the key. He looked past his co-star, Ciara, and up at you; feeling so close but you were far away, leaving him all day without anything to say. And overcoming his speechlessness and breathlessness, even in just that moment, he ran his hand over the rope to say, “Cause I like you. A lot.”

Ciara and the rest of the crew broke into a wide smile once Tom finally spoke his next line, but the only person Tom was focused on was you, who wasn’t smiling, but mouthing his words back to him.

Ciara breathed, “Shut up.”

And Tom’s sure to look you in the eye when he says, “I really do.”

When the filming for the day is said and done, Tom makes a beeline for you across the greenery. You hand over his coffee to him, “It’s a little cold now, but a warm hand is holding it.”

Tom quirks an eyebrow. “Are you inviting me to hold your hand?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

“You swapped jobs with Harry, I saw.”

“Yeah, well. It’s good he gets to grips with the job now. You know, in case anything changes.” You pulled your phone out of your pocket. “I should probably give you my number. In case anything changes.”

“Oh no, yeah. Your number is?”

“216-XXX-XXX. Speaking of changes, I heard you’re trying to get your days reduced.”

“You were eavesdropping?” Tom looks at your face that bears no trace of guilt. “You’re just like me!” He pulls you close.

“Tom, if what happened today is because you’re working too much, I’m happy to reduce your time.”

“Nah, nah.” Tom sniffles, rubbing his nose on a jacket probably worth more than your life. “I’m just a bit sick, s’all. I’ll be fine.”

Two weeks pass and Tom’s no better. With the Cleveland game nearly a month ago, Tom has nothing to blame and as first A.D., you’re obligated to reduce his hours. Tom’s on the phone with his mother when you approach his trailer. 

“Don’t listen to Harry. I’m not in love. I just like Y/N.”

“A lot. I’ll keep you updated. Bye, Mum.” 

You’re so quick to skip happily back to your trailer that you miss Harry calling out to his brother, he’s his protector now that his mother was countries apart. “Tom?” Harry starts.

Tom mumbles an ‘mhm’, hoping Harry would make it quick as he sees you FaceTiming him. If only his mother could see him like this. He’d get to call her tomorrow and tell her he’d called you for the first time yesterday, he could hardly wait to utter, 'I've finally found the missing part of me’. Harry sighs as the FaceTime ringing is relentless. Tom’s eyebrows threaten to meet in the middle of his face as he clutches onto his phone.

“Tom.” Harry begins. “Y/N is giving up assistant director.”

Tom’s really not sure where Harry gets the source of his information from, but he’s sure this isn’t true. He thinks you’d tell him before his brother if you were leaving the film behind, leaving him behind.

The film is due to move filming to Morocco soon, and Tom’s well aware that not all film crew joins them when production moves abroad, but to Tom, you’re an extension of this movie universe. And Tom refuses to leave the memories of you in this filming cycle. “How’d you know?”

“I’m taking over.” Tom’s screen lights up with the glow of your call, and as bright as it is, as bright as you are, as bright as your smile surely is on the other end of the phone call, Tom’s in his deepest darkest feelings wondering how he fooled himself into thinking romance could go right for him this time. 

He’s going to Morocco. You’re not. You’re funny, smart, promising, beautiful. You’ll find someone good for you, a better pair by the time he’s back.

“That doesn’t mean it won’t work out, man.” Tom sulks in his bed, the light from your constant calls bleeding through his bed sheets. “I just wanted to warn you.” Tom nods, screaming into his pillow. Harry decides that’s his cue to leave, a glimmer of light from outside seeping through the crack of the door as Harry escorts himself. Tom musters all his might and courage to reluctantly answer your phone, the ear-to-ear grin he knows so well greeting him once again.

Suddenly, he forgot how to speak. Hopeless, breathless, couldn’t you see that?

“Tom?” You call out his name a few times before cutting straight to the point. “Do you like me?”

Tom shifts slightly but not enough to show that he’s alarmed. “Huh? Yeah, I like you.”

He sits up, but doesn’t reciprocate the outrageous smile you wear like a heart on your sleeve. Tom’s eyes are sunken, dark circles forming under his eyes where he and his disturbed character become one. You suddenly remember why you shouldn’t have run away so fast, perhaps Tom was overworking himself. He continues, “But I’m an emotionally unavailable hopeless romantic. So I wouldn’t waste your time on me.”

Tom can’t help the hurt in his heart when he sees your smile drop so suddenly, knowing it was earnest. “Tom, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, life is unfair. And I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead. We wouldn’t work out. And I like our friendship now. We should stay that way.”

You’re not convincing when you nod rapidly, not letting Tom see your face as you play with your fingers to avoid his gaze. “Yeah, I agree.” You’re much less convincing when the last frame Tom caught of you was a shot of tears dripping down your face, as three rings followed you. Tom’s screen went black in your absence, and Tom falls asleep with eyes even redder from crying, and he wonders when he’s gonna shake this sickness.

It’d been a few days since Tom had got his shots to allow him to go to Morocco. He sat opposite the doctor on set, a coffee cup placed on the desk between him.

Tom reckons that's why he’s sick. Shots always have their side effects, and he’d taken multiple shots in one day. And now, he specifically asked for you to hold his hand during the process, Harry branded in a glinting jaw-drop, only for you to leave directly after. 

“I’m speechless, constantly feeling over the edge, breathless.” Tom explains his symptoms to the doctor. “At first I thought it was because of that stupid football game, then all the coffee I’m drinking, now I don’t know if it’s the shots. I feel like shit, doc.”

“I know exactly what you’re dealing with.”

“What?”

“Lovebug.”

Tom stares at the doctor in utter bewilderment. “You figured that out based on my symptoms?”

“I figured that out based on the puppy dog eyes you gave for your first A.D. when they left without a word.” The doctor begins to laugh softly, but Tom is unamused. How is he supposed to shake this illness after completely ruining your relationship? How is he supposed to mend your bond after talking so recklessly, so emotionally? “Tom, I’m not here to be a fairy godmother, I’m being strictly medical. At a certain point, what you feel in your mind affects your body. So I prescribe that you talk to Y/N and say everything you need to say.”

And while that seemed easy enough, Tom’s ego was at work again, and Tom was feeling far too bruised and wounded to speak to you first. Surely if you cared enough, if you liked him back, if you were willing to be distanced, you would reach out first.

It seems Tom’s pride had forgotten that you already did.

“I heard that this is the exact shit that happened in Cleveland, and he couldn’t get the line out.” Tom hears the whisperings from behind the camera, the amount of familiar faces in the crew dwindling after the change in location. He doesn’t respond. He waits for someone to take five. And when no one throws him a bone, he asks Harry to.

“Alright, everyone take five.”

“Someone get this kid a fucking coffee, he’s always on edge.” Joe instructs.

“And you think giving a kid in twenties coffee is taking him off edge?” Anthony chuckles.

Tom doesn’t care whether or not he gets the coffee, rocking side to side. He’s got all the motion for this role, but he feels nothing. All he felt was for you.

“Here.” Harry sets a Moroccan mint tea down next to Tom, hoping it would calm him down. When Tom takes a few sips, the look in his eyes is less pleading, and everyone’s ready to rumble, this being the last scene of the day.

Harry feeds Tom the line. “Baby, are you seeing bad things?” Tom is seeing bad things. A life without love, a life without you. Unable to contain it all, Tom turns his frustration into laughter. “Why are you calling me baby for, man?” Tom has this ear-to-ear grin but even he feels it's not as innocent, as genuine as yours. He never knew a smile so wide could be so full of pain.

“I have an idea.” Harry saunters off to collect his phone. “Don’t stop rolling the cameras.”

When Harry comes back, there’s sounds of shifting erupting from his phone. “Hi, Tom.” 

Tom didn’t know it would be so bittersweet to hear your voice again. He wasn’t sure if he should put walls up again or if twice was the charm. Even if you worked out in the short term, whose to say Tom wouldn’t get hurt again? And Tom wouldn’t want to hurt you.

“Are they taking good care of you out there? I don’t think I took good care of you.” Tom doesn’t say anything on the other side of the line, so you continue. “I’m not a good A.D. if you’re always sick and tired, and I didn’t want to see you any less, which was selfish of me, so I didn’t change your schedule.” You sigh as you admit why you left. “When you asked, though, I swear I was gonna do it, but then I heard you liked me, and I got carried away. I had to remove myself from the situation to do what’s best for you. Do you understand me? I did it for you.”

“I, uh, I got a diagnosis.” Tom stumbles.

“Oh my gosh, are you seriously sick?”

“I’m speechless. Over the edge, breathless.” Tom laughed dryly, finally feeling like he can choose an ending.

“What did they say it was?”

“Lovebug.” Harry smiles softly at his brother.

Your laugh is like nectar entering Tom’s ear.

“I might just love you way too much, Y/N.”

“Are you sure you’re doin’ okay?” Tom tries his best not to sound dejected that you didn’t say it back, knowing he’s already felt the brunt of this heartache already.

“I just miss you, that’s all.”

“I miss you too. I love you.” Joe stops recording, and Harry lowly whispers ‘take.fucking.five.’ as he and the crew creep away from Tom’s new found love scene. 

“Anthony, can I borrow your phone?” Harry begins to type Nikki’s number as soon as Anthony gives over the phone. “Mum, Tom just told the first A.D. he’s in love with them so guess who’s out of a job?”

Tom knows why he’s sick. He used to feel like love was trudging up a high hill he couldn’t come down from, where every beat of heart was feeling like an ache on an open wound. Tom had yet to meet a lover to prove distance makes the heart grow fonder, finding himself in six month long entanglements and illusions of love before things inevitably went sour. But now, Tom has found you.

#tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland angst #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #lolbrosgetsicktoo

[amymel86]

Hello! Do you have any bits of your awesome writing to share for WIP wednesday?😍

I just saw this anon!

And thank you for asking <3

This is a bit more of this as yet untitled 'post-apocalyptic/fertility/modern arranged relationship???' fic. The first bit I posted on tumblr is here and as before, some things are not yet decided (like town names) and things may change...

“Are you sure this is what you want to do, darling?” Her mother’s voice on the telephone was a balm to her soul.

Sansa’s finger brushed the soft vivid petals of the small potted iris she’d bought at the store today. The iris symbolises hope, wisdom and courage among other things and she prays that the pretty purple and yellow bloom will lend her some of those. “I’ve got to try something, Mum,” she says, turning her attention to the two separate bundles of paper in front of her. Two men, two candidates, two different futures. Sansa had filled out all the matching service’s extensive questionnaires and scrutinised all the information she could find on the program. It seemed simple enough – you’re rewarded for helping to repopulate. In turn, the authorities help to pair you with someone who should be a good match dependant on all the information they have about you. The aim is that this new generation of children are raised in the traditional family unit. That had appealed to Sansa. “I can’t seem to find the right guy all on my own anyway,” she said into her phone.

“How do you know it will be safe, though?”

“It says here that my situation will be monitored by my own caseworker. I can call them any time I want. They’re not just going to drop me at the guy’s house and just leave us get on with it.”

“Hmmm... tell me about them? These men that they’ve narrowed down for you.”

“One’s called Waymar, he’s a financial advisor here in the Vale,” Sasna pauses, looking at the man’s photograph on his paperwork before fishing out the other. “And the other is called Jon, he owns a farm in the Reach.”

“None in the north then?” Her mother has been itching to get her back home. “I just wish there was a way to know that either of them were good men, Sansa. That’s all I want for you.”

Sansa put the two photos together. Two possible fathers for her child.

“That’s what I want too.”

***

“Shit! Holy fucking shit!” Jon says to himself, hanging up from his phone-call. “Mance!” he yells, bursting out of his trailer to find the old man. “Mance! It worked! It fucking worked!”

He’d relented. When Mance first put it to him that he should sign up for that weird government breeding program or whatever the fuck it was, he thought the old man’s last brain-cell must’ve fried up in the sun. But if they were going to make it easier for them and it meant Mance could keep the farm (and Jon could carry on living there rent free), then it was worth a shot. So he had relented. He’d filled out what seemed to be a gazillion and one questions about himself, his politics, his views on family and finances and education and fucking... art and shit. These damned government people wanted to know everything about him down to whether he scrunched or folded his toilet paper it seemed. He’d even had to lie. He didn’t like doing it, but there was no way that a fertile was going to pick him if he didn’t. So, he fished out an old photograph – one taken before the bar brawl that lost him his sight in one eye, and he’d also lied his asscheeks off by claiming he had ownership of the farm. He knew – he knew – that these lies are just more things that were going to trip him up one of these days but with Mance urging him on, he’d signed that damn form and offered himself up for the program.

And now a fertile had chosen him.

Him.

Fuck, he might throw up.

This can go one of two ways. Either completely up Shit Creek without a paddle – with his lies and reality crashing down on top of one another, leaving them exposed... or, his fertile somehow looks past his deceits and sticks with him and they-... well, shit, he could actually become a father. No-one becomes parents these days, especially not ‘round here. Fertiles flock to the big cities, to men with bigger pockets, or they work for couples who can afford to pay them off in exchange for a kid or two.

“It worked?” Mance asks, rolling out from under an old Ford pickup that needed a new exhaust. “They sendin’ us a peach?”

Jon shook his head. “They’re not sendin’ you anyone, old man. An’ don’t call her that – they’re-“ Fuck, what did the council call them on all that paperwork? “Reproductively abled.” He’ll have to remember that if he doesn’t want to offend her.

“Well, shit,” Mance grins. “What did I tell ya? Knew your pretty face was good for somethin’!”

Jon frowns. “Ain’t so pretty no more though.” He might have to go get himself a patch to cover his milky, sightless eye. It’s fine most of the time since Mance is the only one he sees unless he’s going to drink at Hobb’s, but he certainly doesn’t want to put off his ferti- reproductively abled friend who’ll be arriving in three weeks.

“She got a name? Your new peach?” Mance asked, earning him a glare.

“Sansa. Sansa Stark.”

Mance grunts and nods. “Sounds fancy.”

Yeah... It did sound kinda fancy he supposes. Jon’s first reaction had been that it was a mighty beautiful name, but now he thinks of it...

“Shame we can’t look her up – see if she’s a beauty or not.”

Jon can’t remember a time when that was an option. He was barely 11 at the highest point of the virus’s hold. Government officials had deemed certain channels on the internet were causing more harm than good by spreading false rumours, incorrect statistics and completely counterintuitive medical advice. The whole thing was shut down, now deemed illegal, only to be reconnected again three years later apparently looking like a foreign landscape from the one before. The internet was no longer a platform to socialise, only government approved informative sites remained. Mance says it’s better this way – that all people used to do was post vain images of themselves for attention anyway.

Jon wouldn’t mind seeing a vain image of Sansa Stark right about now though.

Not that it mattered terribly. As long as they get along and she decides to stick around she could be as ugly as sin. In fact, she probably will be, won’t she? Most pretty ferti- reproductively abled women stick to the cities and its high-fliers.

It doesn’t matter, he told himself. You just gotta keep her happy here and-

“Mance?” he asks, an issue coming to mind. The man grunts in acknowledgement. “Where the fuck is she gonna sleep? She’s not gonna want to stay in my trailer.”

The man grins in response. “I’m glad you asked, boy. I’m glad you asked.”

***

Her caseworker was meant to meet her at the train station. It was quite a drive to the farm and he was meant to pick her up, make sure she’s safe and happy and introduce her to Jon.

That hasn’t happened.

“Please accept my apologies, my dear,” Mr Baelish said down the other end of the phone. “There’s been a mix up with my schedule. We can set you up for the night at a local motel or ask your match to come and get you. Which would you prefer?”

Sansa eyes the dirty looking motel across the street from the train station. Everything here at [[INSERT TOWN NAME]] seems a little on the... rundown side. Maybe the sooner she gets to the farm, the better. Plus, her tummy is all a flutter with anticipation to actually meet Jon. She’d wound up swaying towards Jon as a match due to a few reasons; 1 – he does not live in, around, or anywhere near Harry or his crazy mother. 2 – he owns a farm, and that had conjured up hazy daydreams of idyllic country life. Sansa may enjoy big nights out in the city, drinking her dirty margaritas and feeling her bones vibrate against the base beat in a nightclub, but she knows that’s not what she wants to raise a child around. A child will want to run barefoot through wheat fields and chase chickens and milk cows and –

Let’s just say Sansa has a few ideas and that they all helped to sway her away from city pleasures and towards farmhouse life. And Jon

And last, but not least, reason number 3 – Jon himself. Put side-by-side, his and Waymar’s photographs looked rather similar if truth be told, but Jon won out on something that Sansa just couldn’t describe. Looking at his photograph gave her goosepimples along her forearms because it was like he was looking right back at her. There was something in the depths of his eyes – a kindness? A wit? A strength? She’s not sure, but she couldn’t find the same qualities when she stared at Waymar’s likeness. And his answers too. His questionnaire was full of how he’d like to teach a kid how to walk and ride a bike and fix a... a tractor for heaven’s sake! And so her head was flooded once more of this idyllic life where they got up to watch the dawn stretch over the farmland and they’d grow their own vegetables and she’d bake a pie every day and it would just be perfect.

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Sansa glances around the near abandoned train station.

This doesn’t look so perfect right now.

“Could you please arrange for Jon to come and get me, Mr Baelish?”

***

It’s been an hour and fifty-six minutes precisely since Sansa last spoke to Mr Baelish to arrange her match coming to get her. An hour and fifty-six minutes of sitting on the curb, waiting, surrounded by her three suitcases. She’d started off by sitting at the nearby bus stop, purely because it was somewhere to sit and she had a clear view of the road, but after the rude bus driver insisted that if she’s sat there, she must be wanting to hop on his bus, Sansa decided to park her butt on the dusty, sun-baked curb instead. Her legs were beginning to numb and she was starting to get a headache from the sun beaming down on her head. The curls she’d styled into her copper locks have likely lost their hold by now. What a waste. Opposite, on the other side of the street, beside the dirty little motel, there was a tiny bar that advertised the fact that it hosted exotic dancers at the weekends with a blinking neon sign. Next to it was a hunting and fishing ‘emporium’ and beside that was a vacant store with an old dirty sign that read ‘Blouses & More!’. Presumably, the ‘& more’ still wasn’t enough to keep that fine establishment in business in this funny little town. At the end of the block was ‘Tarly’s Drugstore’ and Sansa had been debating with herself whether or not she should haul her suitcases over to go buy a drink and a magazine for about the last hour and fifty-five minutes.

But she hadn’t wanted to miss Jon Snow’s arrival.

Jon Snow, who seemed to be pulling up outside Tarly’s Drugstore in a dusty Ford pickup truck right about now. Sansa stood, expecting him to come right on over considering how long she’d been waiting for him, but she found herself wondering if she’d got it all wrong when she hadn’t caught a good enough look at him before he darted straight into the store.

Sansa is done with waiting. She grabs her smallest case and places it on top of her larger one, trying her darnedest to roll all her luggage across the road in a lady-like fashion. She could feel the eyes of several passers-by on her while her stiletto heels clip across the street. In turn, her own gaze fell to Jon’s cream-coloured truck. Its front bumper looked a little rusty and wonky too. There was a big gash in the leather of the bench seating on the passenger side. On the truck bed, there were a number of items, including a rocking chair that seems to have a couple of spindles on the chair-back missing, and a new double bed mattress wrapped in clear plastic. Sansa was almost done frowning at the state of the vehicle when the over-door bell of the drugstore tinkles.

“Holy shit,” he curses. And yes, it definitely was Jon standing right in front of her. Only... well... his hair was tied into a knot at the back of his head and.... and... he was wearing a black eye patch? “Uh,” he stood there, arms laden with bottles from the store as the gaze from his one good eye quickly darted down her frame and back up again. “You’re her, right? You’re Sansa Stark?”

Sansa found she could only nod, looking him up and down, like he was with her. He was in jeans with oil smears, some tough, heavy looking boots, a somehow pristine white vest and flannel shirt with the arms ripped off.

Speaking of arms...

Gods-damn! Sansa’s focus was momentarily derailed...

“Sorry, I-“ Jon starts before his grey eye drops to the floor and then returns to her, looking a little bashful. “I didn’t expect you to be so pretty.”

Oh boy. He may be wearing an eye patch right now but this man could win over a thousand girls with that smile, Sansa’s sure of it. She resists the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl. She’s here to find out if they’re well suited enough to start a family together – she needs to keep her head and think rationally, not allow herself to be swayed by his rugged country boy charm. It was Harry’s looks that enticed her in the first place – and look how well that turned out for her?

“Thank you,” Sansa says, blinking back at him before his words truly hit home. “Didn’t they give you my photograph?”

Jon shook his head. “No, ma’am.”

Huh.

“Did they show you mine?”

Sansa bites her lip and gives a nod.

Jon grimaces. “So I guess you weren’t expecting this?” He points to his patch.

Sansa shakes her head. “No... did you... did you do something to injure it?”

Jerking his head, Jon begins rubbing at the back of his neck with his free hand. “It’s a long story... but... it ain’t gonna get any better, if that’s what you’re askin’.”

“Oh.”

They stood, staring at one another for a heartbeat or five before Jon sucks in a breath over his teeth and glances down to the bottles he clutched to his chest with one arm. “I tried to get you some things to help you feel at home,” he says, “these are the nicest smellin’ soaps ‘n’ stuff from Tarly’s.”

“Thank you,” Sansa replies, knowing full well that she brought her Highgarden Floral Scents bathroom range with her.

Jon chews on his lip as he eyes her suitcases. “Lemme get those for you,” he offers before dumping the bottles in his arms into the truck bed and reaching for her luggage. Sansa’s heeled shoes seem welded to the spot. Jon notices. Scrubbing both hands down his face in resignation, he takes a step closer to her and Sansa realises for the first time, that he had dirt beneath his fingernails. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. “It was a shitty thing for me to do,” he offers, his words low and husky. Sansa feels the timbre of his voice set off a trickle of gooseflesh down her spine. “I’m sorry.”

She blinks at him, momentarily confused.

“About this,” he explains, brows high on his head as he points to his patch. “I shouldn’t have sent that old photo of before this happened, but – fuck – even my ex-girl won’t acknowledge I exist anymore with this and I knew I shoulda been honest about it but-“

“This ex-girl...” Sansa suddenly found herself left with a sour taste in her mouth. “... does she still mean something to you?”

Jon licks at his lips, his eye falling briefly to her own. “No, ma’am,” he shakes his head.

#jonsa #jon x sansa #wip wednesday #but late #oops