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mad-hunts · 9 days

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WHAT IS MY MUSE AFRAID OF?

in the list below, bold all the fears your muse currently has, italicize all the fears they've worked through or grown out of, answer the questions below, and then pass it on by tagging your favorite muns to participate!

why do they have these fears? are these fears innate, trauma-based, or generational? barton had feared small spaces as well as failure due to several things that had happened in his childhood, but he was able to overcome these as a teenager. as for hospitals... barton was afraid of them due to a specific event that he went through for a short time after winslow had officially become his surrogate father. without talking about it too much, his fear of suffocation is trauma-based as well. and as for being alone / being abandoned, these were sort of a mix of innate and generational fears for barton. imperfection is, unfortunately, another fear of his that came about due to trauma.

COMMON FEARS & PHOBIAS:

the dark l small spaces l suffocation l water l thunderstorms l dogs l snakes l spiders l insects l clowns l blood l dentists l hospitals l needles l germs l heights l fire l insects l public speaking l large crowds l meeting new people l being alone l being touched l failure l imperfection l societal rejection l physical intimacy l emotional intimacy l being abandoned l being forgotten

what other fears do they have? his biological father, wesley mathis; becoming his father, losing his freedom / autonomy (to some level), death, and hurting members of his family due to losing control.

have they ever tried to work through or confront these fears? how did it go? barton has attempted to work through his fear of his father due to him no longer being around and his fear of death, too, which really didn't go so well. this is because even though he is able to understand why he has these fears, whenever he exposed himself to both of these things, he tried to think his way out of the fear he felt rather than just letting himself feel it... and this is a necessary step in quote unquote 'conquering them' because the mind is prone to getting stuck in thoughts that actually feed your fears when you aren't able to fully process / accept them.

tagged by: (stole from @astrronomemes!) tagging: @cxpperhead, @thewomanwholaughed, @ofgctham, @lamprog, and anyone else who might like to complete this quiz!

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#oh boyyy. this was quite the interesting and also somewhat depressing rp meme NGL i mean a lot of barton's fears are trauma based-#unfortunately so 😬 yeahhh idk whether to feel concerned for him or also be like ' uhh excuse me WTF?? ' even though i only have myself-#to blame for writing this since barton isn't real and all that jazz JSJSJ but as i was saying feel free to steal the quiz if you want!#i hope y-all have been having a wonderful day because every one of my mutauls is gorgeous inside and out <33 #tw: mentions of trauma.#tw: generational trauma.#tw: fear.#tw: mentions of suffocation.#tw: toxic family relationships.

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nerdpoe · 2 months

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Young Justice is always a little...concerned. With Phantom's living situation. Now they're outright afraid for him, and Bart has decided it's time to Ask An Adult.

It was the little quips. The tiny little things. Stuff that didn't seem to matter to Phantom at all, or appeared to be normal for him, that he didn't realize weren't normal at all.

"Oh, better not hope my mom catches me." "Doing what, staying out past bedtime?" "Nah, using my powers; she'd vivisect me!"

"Another stab wound. Great." "Don't worry Phantom, I've got the med kit-" "Oh, I'm not a baby or anything, I can handle it just fine. Just gimme a sec to take it out."

"My dad has better aim than that." "...Like, when he's hunting, right?" "...At what other times would he be shooting at me?"

"Huh. Not as bad as my parents place. Look; they have a decontamination shower!" "Phantom, this lab has been vandalized to the point of needing a hazmat suit." "Did I stutter?"

Finding out each others identities did nothing to soothe the worry. Tim quietly told the others that every time he tried to run facial recognition, he kept hitting a government firewall he couldn't breach. Phantom never told them his last name, just his first, and 'Danny' is super common.

The thing that really did it though, the thing that made Bart snap and run off to ask Max, was when Danny had a nightmare.

He was talking in his sleep.

"No. Don't-stop. Stoooop. I need...my skin. Mom, no. You can't...peel off...my skin..."

Bart didn't even wait for them to wake Danny up before he was standing in front of Max, talking a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what to do, with Wally staring in horror over a plate of waffles as he computed everything that Bart was saying.

~~~~~~

Danny had a dream about his mom and Skulker arguing about how to skin him. He wouldn't really call it a nightmare, because it was just Skulker, but the scariest thing was Skulker insisting to his mom that it was possible to skin him with a potato peeler. Dream mom was arguing that it was not, and that from a scientific standpoint that was a really piss poor way to preserve a specimen.

He hadn't been begging them to stop hurting him, he'd been whining at them to knock it off.

But when he wakes up, it's to a room full of worried friends and an old man who calls himself Max.

"Kid, I think we need to talk."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #first convo was with cassie #second was with bart #third was with kon #fourth was with tim #max is fully prepared to take in another kid #bart is fully prepared to share #wally went to dick to ask him to put his detective training to work and find phantom's parents #wally was just visiting max #catching up #shooting the shit #when suddenly bart comes in and just trauma dumps about one of the other young justice heroes #who is apparently in a super abusive situation #and probably needs help #body horror tw #skinning tw #but only mentioned in the context of a super weird dream #danny's living situation COULD use some improvements #but it's not as bad as everyone thinks #anti ecto acts are still a thing #but as long as danny is with young justice the GIW leave him alone so #eh #not like they're good at their jobs anyways #max is about to blow his mind with the following information #“you are not okay. it's okay to not be okay. but kid. you need help and we're offering.”

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lostmf · 6 months

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I’m not sure I deserve it ..

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waywardsunlight · 2 years

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Belos

#the owl house #emperor belos #tw trauma mention #belos #toh #toh meme #Wayward Sunlight Art

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sentientsky · 6 months

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hmmmmgrhhf thinking bout crowley and childhood trauma and abandonment and rage again

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larks-birdhouse · 2 months

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some blackout poetry from a homophobic christian post <3 the last one is what was left if i turned on all the layers at once

please do not try to find or harass this person. they are likely just uneducated and do not deserve to be dogpiled

—

top to bottom, left to right

transcript 1: “Please pay for transgender top surgery. We are poor”

transcript 2: “transgender gay blasphemers slay pop off”

transcript 3: “transgender gays are cool We are all swag”

transcript 4: “transgender”

—

(tagging @fixing-bad-posts because their blog inspired this! thank you for your work <3)

#lark’s posts #tw religious mention #blackout poetry #joke poetry #transgender #transgender pride #religious trauma #fixing bad posts

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dastardly-crows · 5 months

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my reaction to seeing people compare the real and horrifying reality of childhood SA and violence to fictional characters who will never experience pain or emotion:

#tw vent #vent post #tw child abuse #tw childhood trauma #sa mention #sa tw #tw sa mention

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venacoeurva · 11 months

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Ego and the mimicry of a saint (and more than a little sacrilege)

-Please do not reupload, edit, or use without proper credit or linking back, ask first.-

#nerevoryn #indoril nerevar #voryn dagoth #nerevar #dagoth ur #morrowind #tes #tesblr #the elder scrolls #face trauma #blood #trypophobia tw #artsyfartsyness #gotta draw some occasional weird nerevoryn feat unsettling imagery #granted I think that's my brand with them regardless #time for that good ol voryn mimicking nerevar's face being removed with himself to posture himself as being of equal standing #as I mentioned in that one post before

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lgbtiwtv · 2 years

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god. god. the significance of the diary pages about claudia’s assault being torn out raggedly by Louis, clearly in a fit of guilt and anguish and trauma, vs the diary pages about louis mourning lestat and regretting killing him being removed with surgical control and precision. by armand. this wasn’t a heat of the moment action it was deliberate and calculated and I can’t stop thinking about it

#I’m SICK I tell you SICK over this #how much of Louis memory and life has he been controlling all these years??!!!!#louis already has repressed memories due to depression and trauma and now THIS??? Armand’s very very careful and constant control?#and manipulation of the truth? of not only Louis’ recollections but of Claudia’s??????? GOD #I can’t fucking wait for season 2 rashidmand judgement day WILL be upon you #and my god......the idea that louis asked for some aspect of this??? my heart is broken i'm crying tears of blood....#do I know if this is true? no. do I think armand is controlling everything? no…but I also think it’s part of it all #iwtv spoilers #iwtv #amc iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #the vampire armand #louis de pointe du lac #m watches iwtv #tw assault #tw assault mention

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wildfeather5002 · 2 months

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I hate it when xtians reduce my religious trauma to "a religious person said something mean to you once so now you're mad at religion".

Like, shut the fuck up. My trauma isn't just someone being a little rude to me once, it was systematic, deliberate manipulation with the threat of possible eternity of suffering in Hell if I didn't obey religious rules and "keep Christ in my heart". It was "Nonbelievers burn in a lake of eternal fire. Tell your friends to convert to our faith or they'll be damned for eternity".

I have suffered from anxiety, ocd and other mental health issues for several fucking years because of this shit. I've suppressed my sexuality and felt terrible guilt just for the 'sin' of having sexual thoughts. I've feared for my loved one's souls, genuinely believing they would go to Hell for simply not being xtians and that I'd never see them again in the afterlife.

These beliefs are sick and twisted. What I went through was sick and twisted.

I seriously don't know what to say to you if you still think telling anyone, let alone a child, that they're going to be damned for eternity if they disobey 'God's word' is totally fine and not abusive.

Know your fucking place and stop speaking over trauma survivors who have been hurt by your shitty religion.

#ex religious #religious trauma #fuck christianity #anti christianity #anti purity culture #ex christian #ex baptist #fuck conservatives #anti conservative #right wing nut jobs #conservative insanity #online drama #vent post #vent tag #tw hell mention #tw eternal damnation #hell tw

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mad-hunts · 1 month

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it may be too soon for me to talk more about jack mathis after just posting about him, BUT idk, i just want to emphasize just how different he is compared to the rest of the mathis family. because although jack is certainly not perfect himself, and can arguably be pretty immoral himself, i think a big part of why jack does what he does is his desire to be loved by barton / make his father proud of him despite the fact that... well, he is debatably treated the worst out of all of his siblings, along with the fact that barton is not at ALL a good example of a guardian. and quite possibly also because he is afraid of barton. so yeah, uhhh, that's really kind of sad whenever i think about it. like jack honestly is STARVING for warmth not just from his father but in general. and this translates to him confiding in his sister, matilda, most of the time because they have one of the closest sibling relationships in the whole mathis family. but even that is not enough sometimes as having your emotional needs neglected makes you feel terrible constantly.

so jack will try to get rid of this touch starvation he has and try to feel less metaphorically cold by taking extremely hot showers until his skin turns pink and raw. plus, he even has an outdoor cat that he secretly befriended that he'll let in sometimes through his window as well as cuddle with to alleviate his need for warmth, since both of these thing's seem to help with it (even if it's just a little bit). but anyhow... on a less sad note, jack knows how to play the electric guitar and is a ballet dancer; the latter of which he is trying to pursue professionally. so, he is also different from the rest of the mathis family in that way. they all seem to want to get into medicine, after all, but jack himself DESPERATELY wants to get away from it even if he won't express that out loud and go into the arts instead. this is due to all of the horrible things going on related to it that he witnessed while he was growing up. thus, like i said before in my previous post, jack does in fact appear to have some sort of moral center and doesn't like to kill people but sees it as something that is unavoidable in the case that he has to protect his family / someone learns that he does have a bit of blood on his hands — albeit, much less than the other's in the mathis family. though this is not to excuse any of the bad things that he's done, of course, because everyone has to take responsibility for their actions regardless of what the circumstances might be.

i just wanted to highlight that, even amongst a family that seems like they are one of the most immoral and deprived in gotham city, that there could be slivers of hope + morally dubiousness in them.

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ANGER'S HELPED ME STAY ALIVE: headcanons.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#AHHH i just... i have a lot of feelings about him okok #of course every child deserve to be in a good and safe home and ALL of the mathis children have definitely been done wrong in that regard #i just wanted to put the limelight on jack for today + kind of give you all a glimpse of how the trauma he's been through has affected him-#personally. BUT i shall talk about all of the mathis kids eventually as i do not want to make it seem like they're in a-#competition or anything as for who has had the worst experience in it bc that would be awful. BUT yeahhh #things have honestly just sucked for jack so bad especially considering he just wants his fathers approval even though he's a bad person #and it's like... god damn 😭 emotional ab*se in families does tend to be a very complicated and nuanced topic amongst the family members-#themselves but from the outside looking in it's just terrible.#tw: mentions of emotional neglect.#tw: mentions of trauma.#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: touch starvation.

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lostmf · 10 months

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“Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids “

I tell myself

But then parents aren’t supposed to do a lot of things to their children

So I guess it won’t matter if they did this one more thing

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traumasurvivors · 3 months

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Your trauma is valid even if you initially consented and then changed your mind.

Your trauma is valid if you consented in the past.

Consent can be withdrawn anytime before or during sexual encounters.

#my post #your trauma is valid #tw sa #tw sex mention

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antiendovents · 1 month

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Endogenics, stop calling us “ trauma-scum ”, when in fact — you're all projecting because you know you're lying about a serious illness that needs distressing and traumatic events to even develop.

Stop claiming systemhood and get genuine fucking help.

Stop bending over backwards twisting resources to say that science has proved you right, when in actuality, you have shit reading comprehension.

Stop threatening actual victims of abuse by saying that you'll “ traumatise us further ”, when we call you out on your fucking shit.

Safe to say — you're the scum you so proudly call every genuine system.

Get a fucking grip, please. — 🩸

^^^ literally. Stop saying people with trauma are lucky. Stop spreading misinformation. Stop threatening anti endos for calling out your bullshit. Stop acting like being a system is fun and games. Stop denying science.

#anti endo #did #did system #plural #endos dni #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd #tw trauma mention

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brain-rot-central · 3 months

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Would you be interested to do fanfic with Astarion getting a massage and maybe kisses ober his scars?

Scars

Tav gives Astarion a back massage. Thing is, Astarion isn't entirely used to giving up his back.

I sat on this for a long bit. Thank you for the prompt! 💗

Warnings: trauma mention, abuse mention, brief depiction of abuse

"I'm not so sure this is a good idea, love."

Astarion lay prone on his bedroll, his head tilted to the side. He's not looking at Tav necessarily, just in their general direction as sparks of anticipation jolt through his body. He eyes the bottle of oil within Tav's hands as they uncork the stopper.

"You don't always have to be the one giving, Astarion," Tav says as they pour the viscous fluid out into the palm of one hand. They place the bottle down onto the ground, reapplying the cork. "Sometimes it's nice just to take."

"Yes, but-"

"Do you want me to leave?" Tav interrupts, rubbing their palms together to warm the oil.

Astarion finally looks at Tav, furrowing his brow in doubt. "N-no, I don't. Just..." his voice trails off, gaze wandering to the flap of his tent. It ripples gently with the passing breeze. "Go easy over my back, please," he pleads. "It's... sensitive."

In more ways than one.

Tav nods, shifting closer to Astarion's form. "Of course," they agree, leaning over to plant a kiss on the back of his neck. Astarion shivers under them as their hands find the small of his back. "You let me know if it's too much, 'kay?"

With a sigh, Astarion nods, resting his face against the comforting fabric of his shirt. Tav starts slow, rubbing delicate circles into the dimples of his lower back with their thumbs. Their fingers hang over his hips, which, Astarion admits silently to himself, is oddly comforting. He imagines Tav holding him, guiding his hips to where they want him to be. Much more intimate than Astarion could have ever imagined. Pleasurable, even.

He's so used to being grabbed, pushed, and forced into positions. Hurried encounters with those who cared not for his pleasure, that it came secondary or not at all. Astarion keeps waiting for the moment where Tav hoists him up and slots him roughly against their crotch, waiting for the inevitable painful sting of being pried open without warning.

But it never comes.

Astarion can feel their crotch against the cleft of his arse, Tav straddling his hips for their own leverage, yet this position is unusually sensual. Tav's hands begin traveling up the sides of his torso and they lean further into him, pushing Astarion's hips further into the ground below him. The pressure of his center meeting the bedroll causes his arousal to stir, twitching softly to life as he haphazardly grinds his hips further into the deerskin below, chasing the sensation again and again.

Soft moans escape Astarion's lips as Tav kisses the midline of his back, applying light pressure to the muscles encircling his ribs as their hands glide over the delicate pale skin. "Is it okay if I touch them?" Tav asks quietly against his back.

His scars, they mean. They want to massage his scars.

Astarion's eyes focus again on the opening of his tent, flap blowing in the wind as another breeze blows past. When he closes his eyes, he imagines himself back in the kennels, lying on the cold stone floor beneath him in a similar position. Cazador is behind him, needle in hand, bringing the blade down hard into the vulnerable skin of his back. Astarion screams, or at least he remembers the feeling of screaming, as he relives the searing pain of his flesh being carved out. He claws at the stone floor as Cazador continues, voice failing him as the blade dances across his skin. Cazador chuckles darkly, telling Astarion revisions are to be made.

Astarion.

His head swims with nervous energy, though a small voice breaks through his concentration.

Astarion!

His eyes snap open, returning focus to his tent. Astarion becomes mildly aware of the hand over his mouth and he tries to control his labored breathing.

"Are you alright? You started screaming out of no where." Tav releases their hand from around his mouth and sits back. "Sorry, but I had to do something, lest the entire camp come running..." Tav sits back on his feet for a bit, silence passing over them both. "Did you want to stop?" they suggest. "It's okay if-"

"No, I'm fine," clarifies Astarion. "Sorry, dear. My mind was elsewhere for a moment."

"...Cazador?" Tav asks, quietly.

Astarion doesn't respond immediately. Moments pass before he slowly nods his head. He hears Tav sigh over his shoulder as they resume their place over the backs of his thighs.

"I have no sharp objects, aside from a nail or two," they say in reassurance. "All I'm trying to do is help you feel more at ease. I promise."

"I don't doubt that," Astarion admits. "This is just... different, for me." He gasps as he feels Tav's hands on his lower back again. "I... usually don't give people my back."

Their hands travel higher, and Tav feels the minute shakes of anticipation rumbling through Astarion's frame. Astarion sucks in a sharp breath and they move between his shoulder blades, tracing each indentation of the scars with their fingertips. They use the palms of their hands to place pressure on the muscles deep below, a soft moan of relief escaping Astarion as he eases into the touch.

"...I only want to make you feel good, Astarion," Tav coos above him, dragging their hands back up the length of his spine. They rub along the outlines of each scapula, digging their thumbs into hard knots of muscles. Tav circles them gently, huffing out a quick laugh as they feel the tension beginning to melt away from Astarion's frame.

His head is swimming in euphoric pleasure. His arousal has stirred back to life, but not due to lust. No, this is simply because his entire body feels good, so so good. Astarion feels himself loosening under Tav's ministrations. It dawns on him that he never gave thought to how tensely he held himself together. Another soft moan escapes his lips as Tav leans over again to kiss the back of his neck. The position pushes his half-hard cock further into the bedroll, his entire body instinctively curling upward, into Tav. He leans his head toward one side, granting them better access to his neck.

"Does it feel good?" they ask, littering chaste kissing along the side of Astarion's neck.

Astarion moans as Tav's hands run up and down the sides of his ribs again. "Y-yes," he gasps. "P-please continue."

The massage turns intimate again; Tav kissing down Astarion's back as their hands settle along his narrow hips. Astarion knows there won't be physical intimacy; he's not quite ready for that yet, but by the gods if this isn't close.

Tav works at his back for what feels like a tenday before finally sliding off. "How was that?" they ask, lightly brushing the backs of their fingers over his skin.

Astarion turns over, arousal flagging enough to not raise any uncomfortable suspicion. Though, could he blush, his face would be absolutely flushed. His eyes are heavy, his mouth hangs open. "Wonderful," he admits. "I would very much like to do that again."

Tav leans over and smiles, capturing Astarion's lips between his own. "Then again we shall."

#astarion #my writing #writing prompts #fanfiction #astarion fluff #trauma mention #abuse mention #abuse tw #answered #bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x gn tav #astarion x reader #astarion x gn reader

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small-but-mightyy · 10 months

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#tw dark thoughts #abuse mention #why I can’t tell #the difference between love and hate #poetry #my poem #short poem #sad poem #dark poetry #mental health #trauma #interpersonal trauma #childhood trauma #journal entry

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