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thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai · 5 days

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On not getting eros

I’ve discussed Yuuri not getting eros multiple times, but I never explained what it actually means because this subject seems to be a sensitive and controversial one either way. Yet, it's also an important one for quite a number of reasons I will come back to later.

And that's why we need to discuss it.

First: What is eros? - a very short trip back in time

YOI explains eros as “sexual love”, matching the Ancient Greek definition as “sensual or passionate love” from which the term “erotic” is derived. Classical philosophers described it as a “madness from the gods” that befalls people at the sight of another person with disastrous results (e.g. the story of Paris and Helena). In YOI, this “madness” equates to “what causes you to lose the ability to make normal decisions”.

(The definition of eros varied a lot over the centuries. Plato defined eros as a general concept of passion that excludes physical attraction and argued that it can be utilised to pursue intellectual interests. Freud insisted that eros is not to be confused with libido, and the Catholic Church’s definition had a huge influence on more modern definitions and not for the better.)

What the ancient Greeks called eros is nowadays known as sexual attraction. Classical philosophers probably didn’t make the distinction towards romantic attraction since the two are often conflated. However, describing eros as a “madness from the gods” points towards a primal instinct that the majority of humans experiences starting from when the body begins to produce sex hormones during puberty.

What this implies for Yuuri

As an adult male of 23, Yuuri is long past puberty. Thus, one would expect him to understand eros on an intuitive level. However, what makes him lose the ability to make normal decisions is not the sight of another human being, not even his celebrity crush parading in front of him like a Greek god—no, it's his favourite food. And there’s only one explanation why that is:

So far, Yuuri has not experienced sexual attraction.

No anxiety disorder, no feelings of inadequacy, no lack of self-esteem, and certainly not an alleged ability to restrain himself can explain this absolute cluelessness about a basic human instinct. It cannot explain why Yuuri is immune to the sight of naked Viktor, i.e. why that doesn't make him want to bent Viktor over the edge of the hot spring and do unspeakable things to him. And this brings us to the critical part of the discussion:

Yuuri is on the asexual spectrum.

Where on that spectrum he could be, I'm going to discuss in a minute.

Yuuri is well aware that at his age the general populace is able to express eros and that by extension, he is excpected to and should be able to express it, too. In his first attempt at tackling eros, he uses his favourite food as a workaround, but if he had no particular food cravings, literally anything he’s passionate about would work, too (it took me ages to figure that out because, personally, I rather roll with Plato than food metaphors). Yuuri keenly feels that katsudon isn’t it, though. He thus changes the protagonist of the story he made up for his SP because he relates to the woman’s situation more than to the playboy, which works fairly well because it reflects his fears about Viktor leaving and his desire to keep Viktor for himself (see also this meta). However, it takes him until episode 6 to find his eros, and this eros is a very possessive and commanding one (see also this this meta). Essentially, episode 6 is about Yuuri learning that he is indeed capable of seducing Viktor with his skating and this ability comes with a certain power that is reflected in his scores. He doesn't magically experience sexual attraction now—what happens here has all the qualities of a kink with dominance/possessiveness, which Viktor seem to like a lot.

That Yuuri is asexual is essential for the plot of Yuri!!! on Ice to work.

Which asexual microlabels are compatible with canon Yuuri?

Aside from a few subtle hints, this is pretty much open to interpretation. The tie-grab in episode 8 and the strong sexual tension in that scene narrows the list down to demisexual, greysexual, or sex-favourable ace.

A demisexual Yuuri would experience sexual attraction once he has formed a close bond with another person or got to know them intimately enough. Before Viktor, Yuuri struggled to form close relationships of any kind; Viktor is the first he wants to form a bond with and whom he lets into his heart. In this context, episode 6 could be interpreted as the very first time Yuuri experiences sexual attraction.

A greysexual Yuuri would be capable of experiencing sexual attraction sometimes and in certain situations, but again, the point when Yuuri perfects eros defines the earliest instant at which he would experience sexual attraction for the first time.

The likeliest interpretation that I found, however, is that Yuuri is a sex-favourable ace. It’s not only the tie-grab in episode 8 that besides its obvious kinkiness oozes a sexual tension that implies that he and Viktor did it (and liked it), but also the lyrics of Stammi Vicino describing viktuuri on a meta level:

Le tue mani, le tue gambe, le mie mani, le mie gambe, i battiti del cuore si fondono tra loro. Your hands, your legs, my hands, my legs and the heartbeats are fusing together.

This line expresses a unification on a physical and on a mental level. It implies a strong physical intimacy that can't be explained by Yuuri and Viktor being together and skating together in the gala alone.

The differences between these microlabels are hidden in the nuances, the rest is up to personal preference/experience. If you want your version of Yuuri to be canon-compliant, you can't go wrong with either flavour of aceness, including those I didn't discuss in this because they seem less likely to me. If you came to the conclusion that a sex-repulsed kinky Yuuri would work just as well, my answer to you would be that canon Viktor would be happy with everything his Yuuri is willing to give. If there's a fictional couple who would make a relationship in which one partner in sex-repulsed and the other is allosexual work, it would be viktuuri.

Next some questions I wish someone had explained to me in this context:

Q&A: But why does Yuuri...?

dry-hump Viktor at the Sochi banquet: If the amount of clothes Yuuri wears gives away the timeline of the event, he danced with Viktor before he went off to the pole with Chris. Some of this dancing was quite physically and that can be totally enough to make a sensitive person horny (and Yuuri is very sensitive to touch). Add an unholy amount of alcohol to this and you have Yuuri rubbing his genitals at his idol. (note that libido ≠ sexual attraction)

say that Viktor could impregnate everyone, including him: Being asexual doesn’t deprive you of the ability to identify sexiness in other people and understanding the meaning of “hot”. Viktor demonstrating Eros right in front of Yuuri would instantly put Yuuri into a massive swoon, and while it wouldn't make him horny and want to fuck Viktor, he would be be swept away because of how cool and amazing Viktor is.

hastily turns away when Viktor stretches in front of him in the bath: Well, that's an obvious reaction of discomfort. Not everyone would be happy to stare right at someone else's dick (unless you love dicks, obviously).

On a side note, I find it quite ironic that Morooka calls Yuuri “Japan’s ace skater” in the Blu-ray subs, but aside from the fact that things one character says about another should always be taken with a grain of salt, deriving a character’s sexuality from such wording is as far-fetched as deriving it from colour schemes or characters blushing at one another (and in YOI, they blush like all. the. time.). I have no idea if the YOI creators intended an asexual reading of Yuuri. However, the result is an unambiguously ace-coded Yuuri that is needed for the story of Yuri!!! on Ice to work in the way that it does.

Why this discussion is overdue

Good ace representation: Although it's not officially confirmed, Yuuri is a realistic representation of a queer label that is often overlooked and underrepresented in media.

Educational purposes: There are many harmful misconceptopns surrounding asexuality, and while this post doesn't aim at dispelling them, I hope it will make a little difference.

Spreading awareness: Because there is so little awareness about what it means to be asexual—even inside the queer community—the ace-coding is only obvious for people who have educated themselves on the subject. Unfortunately, this makes Yuuri being prone to mischaracterisation.

Helping people figure themselves out: Asexuality is a concept that is very hard to make sense of when you don't even know that you experience things differently. I've seen posts discussing ace-coded characters and they only confused the hell out of me. I hope that this post will be helpful to other people being unaware of or questioning their aceness.

Last but not least: Not being sexually attracted to people doesn't impact or contradict Yuuri's romantic orientation. I will discuss Yuuri's "top-secret" love life in my next meta.

For further reading about Yuuri and his endeavours to tackle eros, please check out these metas:

How skating to eros despite not getting it showcases Yuuri's extreme bravery (episode 3) [X]:

Yuuri finally finding the definition of eros that works for him (episode 6) [X]

The development of On Love: Eros throughout the series, including the a discussion of the workarounds Yuuri uses: [X]

My special thanks goes to cecebeanie for our countless discussions on the subject and patiently answering even my stupidest questions, for proofreading, and for encouraging me to write this post in the first place 💜💙

PS: Of course, you can headcanon Yuuri as you wish. I'm just discussing the likeliest interpretation based on the facts the source material provides.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me!

If you like my metas, please check out my works on AO3.

Edit: While I was going through the reblogs of this post, I came across a lovely comment from someone who was a bit divided about whether Yuuri is overly sexual or asexual with a tendency towards the latter, and so I thought I'd provide some context for anyone else wondering about this:

In my experience, these two things aren't mutually exclusive. People with a strong libido or sex drive can be perceived as overly sexual, and that can apply to asexuals as well. Experiencing no sexual attraction doesn't determine whether someone has a low or high libido, nor does it determine whether someone enjoys having sex for whatever reasons. It's true that many asexuals don't ever want to have sex, but there are also those who like it because they find it pleasurable, want to feel physcially close to their partner, engage in sex-related kinks etc. It's a spectrum after all. Personally, I think that Yuuri would enjoy sleeping with Viktor for all of these reasons once he's okay with allowing so much intimacy.

#yuri on ice #yoi #yoi meta #my yoi meta #katsuki yuuri #character analysis #viktor nikiforov #viktuuri #this is probably bound to become my most unpopular meta but that only shows how desperately this discussion is needed #the way I didn't want to make this post at first because of CYHMH #and when I realised I can't wait until the end of the year I had to hold it back for some weeks #and it's bound to end in disaster either way because ppl won't like my conclusions #anyway Yuuri is a gay ace and I will die on that hill

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cheeriecherrymain · 1 year

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Your Room [Viktor x fem!Reader][Part 1/2]

Pairing: Viktor x fem!Reader Rating: E (18+) Chapter Content: fingering | Viktor has a filthy mouth | he calls you a whore (affectionately) | sexy stuff in a semi-public setting (but you guys are alone) | dirty talk (kind of) Proofread: not a chance in hell

---

You’ve known Viktor for a couple of months now: almost an entire year, if you were to be specific. And in that period of time, you’ve learned three main things about him.

Firstly, his intelligence isn’t just limited to the subjects of science and machinery. His entire thought process is as quick as a whip, in every aspect of his life. At times it almost seemed like his mind was on fast forward, moving at a pace that the rest of the physical world couldn’t keep up with.

As such, his sense of humour is startling. As proper and calm as he appeared on the outside, he was often capable of making deadpan quips that would have your sides aching in seconds.

No one could make you laugh the way he did.

Secondly, you’ve learned that despite his ability to logic his way out of any situation, Viktor was a deeply emotional man. You’d had your doubts at first - never being able to get him to emote beyond a slight frown or smile, in the beginning.

But the more you’d gotten to know him, the more you’d realized that yes, he really did have feelings. And a lot of them, at that.

He was just guarded when it came to matters of his heart, and for good reason. Growing up as a lonesome boy in the Undercity couldn’t have been easy for him, so you’re not really surprised that he’d come up with all kinds of ways to protect himself.

But you’ve always been a patient woman.

You’d taken your time getting to know him, listening intently when he spoke to you and asking questions all throughout. You’d opened up to him about your own life, about your desires and fears - showing him that not only did you enjoy the things he had to say, but you also trusted him with your own issues.

And, like you had desperately hoped, he’d eventually begun to trust you in return.

Which leads to the third thing you’ve learned about Viktor.

For all his skills and capabilities, and his attention to detail when he works, he is…not a subtle man.

He knows his way around technology better than anyone you’ve ever met, and he’s an above average partner for conversation. He’s insightful and clever, and kind, and funny, and…

…and he lacks so much tact, that at first you’d thought he was doing it on purpose.

Perhaps the shirt you’d been wearing that day had been too low cut, and he’d been to awkward to say anything about it. Maybe he’d liked the colour you’d chosen, and hadn’t known how to compliment you. But whatever the reason, you’d noticed him, on multiple occasions now, unabashedly staring at your chest.

The first time it had happened, you thought maybe he was trying to make some kind of point to you. Something about dressing appropriately for the lab, yadda yadda. But he’d never made any kind of silent acknowledgement to you - as if he wasn’t even aware of the fact that you’d caught him ogling you.

As if he wasn’t even aware of the fact that he was doing it.

And you…aren’t sure what to feel about it.

On one hand, if you pulled him aside and spoke to him about it, you’re fairly certain he’d combust in some aspect. At the very least, he’d be embarrassed about his actions, and would avoid you to an extent: at the worst, he’d end up having some kind of internal crisis which would undoubtedly lead to your entire friendship falling apart.

Neither of which you wanted.

On the other hand, you’re not sure you mind the way his attention always seems to fall to you.

You’d never seen him act in such a way with anyone else, even with the people you yourself would consider pretty. He’s professional, and keeps most others at a distance, and…honestly, it makes you feel special. It makes you feel desirable.

Which has raised the question: what do you want from him?

Were you happy to be the apparent recipient of his attraction?

Or did you want more?

Did you want to go on dates with him? Did you want to fall asleep next to him, and wake up with his hair in your face and his arms around your waist? Did you want to traipse into the lab without so much as a warning, and kiss him good morning? Did you want to hold his hand as you wandered around together? Relax with him in the bath after a long day, tenderly soaping him up as you dig your thumbs into the many knots all over his back, letting your hands wander across his skin-

You take a deep breath, and pull yourself away from the thought before you get too carried away. It’s strikingly obvious what you want, now that you think about it.

Now you just needed to figure out how to approach him.

—

You wander into the lab the next morning with your bag slung over your shoulders, and a tray of coffee in your hands. It’s later than you’d usually show up to work, but given the fact that you’d brought some much needed treats, your friends let it slide.

Jayce wastes no time in fixing himself a cup, briefly squeezing your shoulder in thanks before heading back to his desk.

Viktor, on the other hand, remains seated. Engrossed in whatever he’s working on, you’re fairly certain he hasn’t even noticed your entrance. It would sting a little, were you not already used to such a behaviour.

It also means he hasn’t noticed the clothing you’d decided to wear that day.

You bite back a smirk as you prepare a cup for him, dropping in an obscene amount of sugar and a dash of cream. You’d decided to go with the blouse he’d first ogled you in - it’s gotten a little tight over the past couple months, but that, in your opinion, only serves as better bait.

It hugs your form better than it had before, and had made it so you’d had to leave the top couple buttons undone. Paired with the fitted skirt you’d chosen, and the gartered stockings that peeked out from beneath, your entire ensemble was perfect for showing off your figure.

Entirely unprofessional, you’re aware, but necessary.

“You should take a break,” you say sweetly, as you set the cup of coffee down on Viktor’s desk. You make sure to lean well into his field of vision, with the excuse of making sure the beverage is away from the edge of the table, but you can feel the effects of your actions immediately.

His gaze, darting up from his work to look at what you’ve gifted him, only to trail over your body in the most obliviously lecherous way possible.

“I- hm?” he replies smartly, blinking out of his momentary stupor.

You bite back a laugh.

“I said you should take a break,” you reiterate. “You’re so focused, I don’t doubt you’ve already been sitting here for a couple hours. You should give your eyes a rest, and have something to eat.”

He makes a noncommittal noise, and slouches back in his seat.

“I’m almost finished,” he tells you, though you hardly believe him.

You carefully set your hands on the arms of his chair, leaning forward so that you’re at eye level with him and can fix him with a disapproving pout. He swallows hard, and at such a proximity, you can see the way his pupils widen - hear the way his breath comes in short draws, as you lock your gaze with his.

“Take a break,” you say again, and this time, he nods in agreement.

—

You continue like that throughout the day. Touching and teasing him in ways that would seem innocent to any onlookers - a hand on the shoulder, your lips by his ear, or your chin on his shoulder while you watch him explain something to you.

But each time you find yourself in his personal space, you can feel his resolve slipping. He’s realized by now what you’re doing, and he knows that you know. But he’s yet to say anything about it.

It’s maybe a little bit selfish of you, but you want to see him crumble, and you mean it in the kindest and most loving way possible. You want his stubbornness to be washed away by desperation - you want him to be incapable of resisting you.

It takes most of the day, but eventually you make it to that point.

Eventually, after Jayce bids goodnight to the two of you and the room is cast into silence.

You lean quietly against the edge of his desk, affectionately watching him while he tries in vain to ignore your eyes on him, attempting to finish his work.

“Viktor,” you murmur.

His hands tighten around the tools he’s holding.

“What are you doing?” he sighs. Finally addressing the tension.

Slowly, oh so slowly, you reach towards him. Sliding your fingers tenderly along his jaw, reveling in the way his pulse thumps quicker the moment your skin makes contact. You carefully tilt his face towards you, drawing his attention away from the trinket laying in front of him.

And guilt immediately flickers in your stomach, the moment you see how he’s looking at you.

Wholeheartedly, entirely, and terribly frustrated.

You stroke your thumb over the curve of his cheek, watching as the prettiest shade of pink begins to rise in your wake.

“I’m trying to get your attention,” you gently tell him. “You’ve been staring at me for weeks, and you haven’t done anything about it.”

Worry rises up in your throat, the longer the silence lasts between you. Fear. You’d been absolutely certain that he’d been showing an interest in you, in a way he did with no one else. But what if you’d been wrong? What if you’d completely misinterpreted his actions, and had now made a complete and utter fool out of yourself-

The soft press of lips against your palm draws you out of your spiral.

Viktor’s lips, specifically, his breath warm on the hand you’d laid upon him.

“I had hoped you wouldn’t notice,” he mumbles, swiveling in his chair to face you. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or make myself appear rude or…unsafe. I had hoped that admiring you from a distance would work well enough, and that our friendship would be able to continue unchanged.”

You scoot closer to him, until you’re all but sitting in his lap.

“Why would things change?” you wonder, letting your cheek come to rest against his shoulder. “We’ll still always be friends - just now with the added benefit of…you know. Romance.”

You lay a kiss to the pulse point on his throat, smirking at the way it jumps beneath your touch.

“Among other things,” you tack on.

Slender arms snake around your waist, then, pulling you impossibly closer. Until you’re pressed firmly against his body, with your legs spread and hooked over the armrests of the chair. You can feel the way your skirt has ridden up, revealing more skin than you’d intended, though Viktor hardly seems to mind.

Once you’re resting comfortably against him, his hands begin to wander. Slowly walking his fingers down your body - pressing into the curve of your hips, and dipping over the exposed meat of your ass.

You know he can feel the way you shiver when he touches you, if the self-satisfied smirk he wears is anything to go by.

“Other things,” he huffs, sliding a single finger beneath the band of one stocking. He keeps it there for a couple seconds, sliding around to the back of your thigh, where he pulls away and draws the elastic taut.

“Is that what you came here for, today?” he asks, feigning innocence. “Did you dress up all pretty, hoping I’d bend you over my desk and have my way with you?”

His breath is hot on the soft skin of your neck, until he digs his teeth in.

And lets your stocking snap sharply back into place.

“Viktor,” you whine, squirming in his lap.

“Poor thing,” he murmurs, as he dips a hand between your legs, stroking the pad of one finger along the obvious damp spot on your panties. “You’ve been throwing yourself at me all afternoon, like some kind of common whore.”

You whimper, when he pushes the wet fabric to the side and immediately starts drawing lazy circles on your clit, already slick with desire.

“Even now, spreading yourself open for me, in a place where anyone could walk in. I bet you’d let me fuck you like this, wouldn’t you? You’d let me use your slutty little cunt however I pleased, and you wouldn’t even care if you made a mess - you’d let me stretch you open and fill you until I’m satisfied.”

You’re humiliated by how quickly he manages to bring you to the edge. Sliding two slender fingers into your dripping hole, he curls them and spreads them so perfectly within you, grinding the heel of his palm against your puffy clit all the while.

“Would you like that?” he wonders, though it’s hardly a question. “Ridiculous - of course you would. You’re already dripping all over my hand, and clenching around my fingers. Are you really about to come? Even though I’ve barely touched you?”

You nearly sob as he continues to work you closer and closer to the edge, crying out in desperation when he slides another digit in with the first two. You don’t think you’ve ever been spread so wide by someone’s fingers before, the stretch burning in the most delicious way.

Closer and closer, your orgasm approaches, your breath coming in short gasps as you tremble bonelessly against him.

“Please,” you whine, nearly begging. The obscene squelch of your dripping pussy echoing through the room.

“Please what?” he teases. “Please take my fingers out? Is three too much for your poor little cunt? Or please give you another one?”

You wail when he stills his hand.

“Please let me come,” you sob, your voice catching in your throat. “Viktor- I want to come- please-”

Blessedly, deliciously, he slips a fourth finger in, and begins his ministrations anew.

“Look at you,” he sighs, almost dreamily. “You’d look so perfect split open on my cock. I know you’d be able to take it - you can take most of my hand, after all. But it would be tight.”

You nod along with him, barely able to form a coherent thought, orgasm so close you can practically taste it.

And then, like a monster, he stops.

“No- no no no don’t stop-” you cry, rolling your hips in an attempt to grind down on his fingers, only for him to pull them out of you completely, leaving your hole empty and clenching around nothing.

“I’m not fucking you in here. And I’m not letting you come until I’ve filled you up,” he says plainly, and the statement alone makes you want to start weeping. However, he tilts his face down towards yours, nudging his nose against you until you find the will to stare sadly up at him.

Your eyes meet, and you’re entirely started by the sheer desire that shines within his pretty, honeyed gaze.

“Unless you want this to be a one-time thing,” he says, his words catching briefly, as if the thought itself pains him. ��If you don’t want…more…then I’ll let you come now, on my fingers, and there will be no hard feelings. Our friendship will remain unchanged, and we’ll never speak of this again.”

You frown slightly at the idea.

“But if you do want more from this,” he continues, “If you do want a relationship, if you want to be mine…then come back to my room with me. Let me take my time with you, let me feel you, let me bring you pleasure in every way I know how - my fingers, my mouth. Let me love you.”

You don’t bother with a verbal answer, choosing to instead bring your lips to his in a hurried frenzy. Your breath mixing, his tongue sliding tentatively against yours, until your chest is so full you’re gasping for air, knitting your hand in his hair to briefly pull him away from you.

Even so, he tries to chase you.

You stare at each other for a couple seconds, chests rising and falling as you calm yourselves and gather your wits.

And then, sweetly, you ask your question.

“Where’s your room?”

#viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #arcane x reader #part two sometime this week probably

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