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augustvandyne · 2 months

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Lucy chen x reader.

Lucy and reader are sent undercover as a couple. This brings up hidden feelings from both women, and Lucy shows up to r's apartment a couple of nights later, and confessions are made. (Reader is Angela's partner/best friend. R is a detective.)

lucy is actually my girlfriend and current obsession right now

this is really sucky, i apologize.

old feelings

It’s late, your head hurts, and you’re hungry, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to ignoring Angela’s phone call.

She normally never calls at night unless it’s super important. Whether it’s about work or her person life with the kids and/or Wesley.

“This better be real important Ang,” You hiss in pain when your head starts pounding even more than it already was. “And there better be a reward of Ibuprofen at the end of it.”

Angela chuckles tensely, “I’ll have Ibuprofen waiting here for you when you get to the station.”

You sigh, but stand nonetheless. You had a feeling something had happened after you left. But it may have also had to do with you just abruptly leaving without saying goodbye to Angela.

“There better be,” You scrunch up your face. “I ran out last night or I would have already taken some.”

“Alright, well, get here. There’s an undercover operation in the works, and they need you,” You can hear the nervousness in Angela’s voice.

“What’s wrong?” You swallow, the nervousness from Angela making its way to you.

“I’ll tell you when you get here,” Angela is shaking her head.

“Okay,” You hang up the phone and grab your keys, trying your best to ignore the pulsing in your head as you slam the apartment door and make your way out to your car.

You make sure to turn the volume of the radio the whole way down once you start the engine.

You breathe out a gust of air, making your way back to the station as fast as possible.

Angela held her promise, as she is standing in the lobby of the station as soon as you get there with a bottle of medication and a bottle of water.

“Talk to me,” You throw the pills in your mouth, drinking almost the whole bottle of water along with it.

“It shouldn’t be me,” You turn to see the pain in Angela’s eyes and you realize it has something to do with Angela’s personal life. Meaning her husband or kids.

“Oh Ang,” You pull her into her for a quick hug before the two of you speed to the conference room.

You see Wade, Nyla, Tim and Lucy all waiting there. Similar expressions in their faces.

“Someone better start talking,” You glance at each other them. Your gaze lingering on Lucy’s for longer than necessary.

“It’s Wesley,” Nyla breaks the silence, sparing a small look in Angela’s direction.

Your heart drops to the floor, “I had a feeling.”

“So let’s stop sitting around sulking about it and come up with a plan.”

“Officer Bradford,” Grey warns. “We have a plan—“

“We have an outline,” He corrects.

“Officer Bradford,” You shake your head, making your way to the empty seat beside Lucy. “Like you said, let’s stop wasting time. Share the outline with me.”

“As far as we know, Wesley Evers has been taken by Elijah Stone and his men.”

You feel Lucy stiffen beside you, and you assume it has to do with Elijah.

You had your own history with Elijah. Not like he had tried to come after you before, because he knows better than to mess with a cop straight on, but the station had been following Elijah for a long while now. And if you could catch him, you would do whatever it takes.

“..so there will be an undercover operation,” Nyla is talking now. You must’ve tuned Grey out while you were thinking. “For obvious reasons, we can’t have Angela go under. And we know I can’t, because I can’t risk my shared custody with my daughter again.”

“Is— is that why I’m here?” Lucy asks excitedly, sitting up in her seat.

“Precisely,” Grey tries to hold back a small smile.

“That’s also why I’m here,” You conclude.

“You catch on quick,” Tim remarks sarcastically.

You clench your jaw, and down the rest of your water.

“We think it would be better if we had people on the inside. People Wesley recognizes,” Nyla nods, looking at Wade so he could finish.

“Wesley will recognize you, and neither of you have went head on with Elijah or his men.. so you are our two viable options,” Grey nods, holding his hands in front of his waist.

“Separately? Or..” Lucy asks, and you look at her. She’s so adorable. So naive.

“Together, Chen,” Tim narrows his eyes. “Like as a couple.”

“Okay, seriously what’s up your ass?” You hollow your cheeks, having about enough of this man’s attitude.

“Detective—“

“No, you have no right to be disrespectful to anyone, let alone Officer Chen, who has been nothing but respectful since I’ve gotten here. So apologize,” You raise your brows when Tim just stands there. “Now.”

“I’m sorry, Chen,” Tim says, internally rolling his eyes.

“You didn’t have to—“

“I know,” You say, just barely missing the blush on her face.

Within the next forty-eight hours, the two of you are off on a plane, one of Aaron’s planes, to be specific.

They’d set up a small townhouse near where they suspected Wesley was being held.

You could feel the anxiety radiating off Lucy, but she never once said anything. You admired her strength through this all.

You and Lucy had a past, if that’s what you’d call it.

You trained her for a while there when Tim was out after being shot, and you’d shared moments, to say the least.

If you asked Angela, she probably would’ve told you that the two of you almost made out at one point, but you didn’t think that. Something about get together at the bar one night, and some longing stares.. you didn’t really know.

But you probably would have asked her out, had you not been in her line of work for the longest time.

You followed most of the rules - including the very strict and unnecessary dating policy.

Then by the time you made it to be up for the detectives exam, the both of you had forgotten about your longing glances and schoolgirl crushes.

Until now.

Lucy is sitting on the edge of the bed now, tapping her fingertips on her lower thighs as a nervous tic. She bites her lip, probably hard enough to draw blood. That was something you remember about her.

“Are you okay, Lucy?” You tilt your head, moving to sit beside her on the bed.

“Yeah,” She shrugs. “This is kind of my first real operation, and I know if I mess up, Angela will have my head.”

“I won’t let her,” You say after a beat of silence.

“Why would you care?” Lucy’s brows furrow, not a hint of anger in her voice. Only curiosity.

“Do you mind if I shower first? I still kind of have a headache..” You stand, not looking her in the eye any longer.

“Oh, I brought some medicine, if you’d want,” Lucy smiles politely.

“I’ll see how I feel after,” You clear your throat and grab whatever clothes are on top for after. “But, thank you.”

You remember that look in Lucy’s eye. You’ve seen it before. All that time ago when you were training her. You had deja vu.

Lucy suggested the two of you went out for something to eat, make yourself seen.

She was smart for that, because not only had you picked a place Elijah’s presence was well known in, but you’d also laid eyes on Wesley for the first time in a few days.

It was a local bar, but it was more on the fancier side, if that makes sense. It served food other than anything that is made in the same grease, so in your opinion, that was fancy all on its own. But Lucy proceeded to tell you all about it.

Which was why you got deja vu in the first place.

She was spinning facts at you, and you were listening intently, laughing here and there to try and gain Wesley’s attention.

You’d gotten it, and he knew you were there. You and him shared a nod.

The glint in her eye is still there when she stops talking after she realizes you’re just watching her.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Elijah glance towards the two of you.

You give her a wide smile, grabbing her hand gently.

You see the light tint of blush on her cheeks, and you try to narrow your eyes so she understands, but she’s more focused on your touch.

You pull her hand to yours lips to cover your mouth, “He’s watching.”

She snaps out of in, and falls into character. She’s leaning on the table, her chin resting on her knuckles of her free hand.

“I love you, you know?” Lucy gives a love struck smile.

“You’ve never said that aloud efore,” A smile takes over your features.

“I know..” She looks down. “But I’ve been thinking it for a while. Ever since.. you know.”

“No, I don’t,” You have the feeling she’s going to try to share her feelings, for real. So you let her.

“When my mother came over the last time. When she blamed me for being with a woman.”

“Yes,” You say. You remember hearing about it through the grapevine, but it wasn’t you in this scenario, it was someone else. That made you feel an almost.. jealous feeling. “I wanted to tell you that night too, but.. you were having so many feelings.”

“And I appreciate you for that,” Lucy leans forward slightly.

You don’t even care if Elijah is watching anymore, because when Lucy leans forward a fraction of an inch, all you’re focused on are her soft and inviting lips.

You liked playing pretend with Lucy. It felt amazing, like maybe you should have asked her out when you wanted to back then.

But it was time to go home now, after a successful rescue mission for Wesley. And you were sort of upset about it.

You were happy to be back home in your own bed after almost two months, but you were kind of missing Lucy and yours’ dinner dates right now.

You’re bingeing an episode of Top Chef when you hear a knock on your door.

Swinging the door open, you see Lucy. She has an oversized sweater on, and she’s playing with the sleeve.

“Lucy?” You frown. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to tell you something,” She comes in the door without even being invited in.

“Could it wait—“

“No,” Lucy cuts you off. “It can’t. Or I’ll talk myself out of telling you. Again. I need to do it now or I may never do it at all.”

You were intrigued now, so you grab Lucy by the sleeve and pull her towards you, leading the both of you to your couch.

“What’s wrong Lucy?” Your brows are furrowed.

“Well..” You watch as Lucy tries to decide how to say when she needs to get out. “It’s just.. mm.”

“Spit it out, Luce,” You chuckle lightly, shaking your head.

“Ihavefeelingsforyou,” She says it so fast you almost don’t even hear what she said.

A look flashes across her face at your reaction, and from your point of view, it looks like regret.

“I’m sorry,” Lucy swallows nervously. “I’ll.. um, I’m just— I’ll go.”

“No,” You say instantly, grabbing her arm to pull her back onto the couch. “I’m just surprised because, well.. I know when I was training you - when Tim was out - that I also shared feelings for you. Angela even saw something, which should tell you something all in itself. But anyway, these past weeks, the feelings had returned and.. I wouldn’t be opposed to a real date.”

Lucy lets out a long and relieved sigh, “Oh, thank god. Because I almost had a heart attack. And, also, I used to have feelings for you too.. why didn’t you just ask me out.”

You chuckle and shake your head, “I was in your line of duty. And I wasn’t ready to move from patrol yet.”

A look flashes in Lucy’s eyes as she turns her head to look at the television.

“Oo! Top Chef?” Lucy’s eyes light up. “We’re definitely going on a date.”

Lucy moves a little closer to you, and leans her head on your shoulder.

You both fall asleep like that.

#the rookie #the rookie x reader #wlw post #lucy chen #lucy chen x reader #lucy chen ask #lucy chen x you #lucy chen is adorable and i love her #pls marry me

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severalowls · 9 months

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Hi I played myhouse.wad here is my thoughts on a narrative thing people seem intent on brushing off in favour of tired tropes.

Spoilers for myhouse.wad do not read this if you havent played it go and play it blind thx

So Thomas and Steven are heavily heavily implied to be husbands. The use of Intensely, Notably impersonal language in the journals is a whole other point to analyse irt its authorship but I digress, my (first) point is: Thomas is also Probably trans.

So in the airport you go into the womens bathroom and theres a pill bottle on the way in that says "needs a refill..." and then you do a little loop around the mirror and theres blood in the mirror then blood all over the place and blooddemons spawn in all around you... then you leave and there's a full pill bottle that says something like "such a relief" and when you come out the bathroom signs have switched and the bathroom you came out of is now the mens room.

Now the Le Reddit/gamer dood prevailing interpretation is apparently that this is... a coincidence? That the meticulous insane modder(s) who created this entire mindbending feat of technology Simply Forgot and its a total coincidence. Fuck off.

Now the prevailing theory also seems to be that the airport bloodbath is actually Thomas's father, evidenced by the same empty pill bottle being in the hospital room with the dead man. Nah, that's because they're both Thomas's fuckin pills and that's Thomas.

Steven (the PoV character as it were) is in the same hospital because this is a representation of the critical inciting event of the entire meta narrative: both of them having died, together, at home (probably in a house fire).

Everything we see in the mod represents scenes and events in their lives, and this is the point where Steven departs from the mortal coil and goes to join his husband Thomas, who is flatlining but nonetheless sat bolt upright, locking eyes with Steven who, in the context of the wider story is putting his affairs in order through the medium of Doom. CRUCIALLY this one hospital scene, where the video game gameplay rules of Doom (you die, you reload a save) are defied and we pass into a (god damn it) liminal space between the abstraction of the game and Death, is the only point where they are reunited.

Which then suggests to me that all the "Liminal Space" stuff and Backrooms references aren't just Fun References, but the Thematic Core of the piece, the passing between worlds. Hell, even the narrative being split between docs and the mod. It being a mod for a game at all.

Anyway I'll save this going on 10000 words because I could probably write interpretation for hours but... Myhouse.wad good.

Edit the following morning: There are hints to an "Anna" which the average Gamer assumes is some sadface ex-wife, but the main points where this is referenced are the airport scene and "S+A" in the bonfire/beach endings. Steven and Thomas are described as having reconnected with high school crushes/'friends'. The main time in your life where you're likely to carve your crush in a tree is when you're a teenager.

Steven had a crush on "Anna", reconnected decades later once he'd transitioned, the scenes of the game represent primarily parts of their life together, and in the final moments of the game (bonfire/beach endings) he's reflecting on when they met as kids.

Airport scene, besides the symbolism of journeys and beginnings, could also reference a miscarriage Thomas had at some point, possibly pre-transition since its where "Anna" comes up? (Stillborn baby is referenced a couple of times in the journal + baby bottle item ingame)

Anyway, myhouse.wad good.

#myhouse.wad

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dearlymrme · 11 months

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Okay-okay-okay. Just listen to me...

Papa Secondo continues to fuck you, even after his next orgasm. He himself has already lost count, of how many times he has finished, he has even stopped counting your orgasms. He's already in pain, he's already empty, but he keeps hammering into you, like a frenzy. He may have a heart attack from such overstimulation, but he does not stop. He can almost not even see you under him, there are only sharp, white sensations in front of his eyes, but he remembers, how beautiful you are. The blood is throbbing loudly into ears, but your sweet moans, dear cry, are also audible, albeit muffled. Secondo has nothing to cum with, but he continues to push into you. It hurts, but it's so good.

Everyone should know, that you are his. That the child in your womb is his. And if it doesn't work out today, you have a lot of time ahead.

You can't do this to me at 4AM. This is illegal.

Papa Secondo is getting absolutely target locked onto you after popping a pill. He thought to himself, 'Surely this thing Primo made isn't that big a deal?' and now he's got your hips in a vice and in a full nelson as he gives sloppy and uneven thrusts with his hips.

Fuck. Yeah. I can work this.

If It Lasts For More Than Two Hours (Secondo x Reader)

Secondo x Reader, Papa Emeritus II x Reader, Creampie, Marathon Sex.

It's another negative. The both of you had eagerly waited in the bathroom for the results, and the third time is the charm, but it still comes out negative. You were frustrated. You told him that you were starting to feel like a failure, as both his wife and his Prime Mover, but he quickly dashed away those insecurities with a hug and sweet kiss.

"Just mean we need to keep trying, mia tesoro."

He goes to Primo because, of course, he does. His father figure brother was his go-to when asking for a damned miracle.

Primo had hummed and smiled at him before fishing through his apocathary cabinet and pulling out a small bottle of hand pressed pills.

"Take one of these before. If this doesn't knock her up, I don't know what will."

And he waits for the mood. A full moon and lavish dinner, and he has you back into your shared room, leading butterfly kisses down your neck. He had subtly taken the pill during dinner, a sour thing that left fur on his tongue, and now... now he was starting to feel hot. There was a bubbly fizz in his loins, and his dick very quickly stood erect, he could feel his heart beating through his cock as the rush of blood had it painfully pressing against the seam of his jeans, yet with every shift it brought sparks of pleasure.

You didn't know about the medicine. Too lost in his soft touches as he guides you out of your clothes.

Then he gets on his knees, pulls at your labia with his thumbs, and gets to work. The man pops his jaw with how wide he opens his mouth to encompass your quim. Kissing your pussy until you were a wet and begging mess. Then he shoves in his tongue. He flexes it. Corkscrews it. Closes his mouth around your entrance and sucks, causes sounds so utterly obscene. His thumbs pry your lips apart so he can all the more devour you.

He wrangles your thighs around his head. Lips work sloppily over your pussy as he lashes his tongue relentlessly. He sets a speed record for how quickly he gets you to come. Then he licks it all up. Every. Last. Drop. Eating you out like tonguing the cream out of a snack cake. You squirmed, holding onto his ears as you moaned loud enough to reach across and wake the whole damn Abbey, shuddering like you had caught a cold and stood in Arctic winds.

Then he fucks you like your unbreakable. An obnoxiously hard and fast dicking, turns into a wrecked and painful hyperfixation that wraps his brain, switches off common sense and turns him into a baser animal with only the need to breed.

Several long strokes that reach deep inside of you as he makes you shake and shake, body wracking with sobs as you're overwhelmed and filled.

He groans, pressing his lips to the back of your neck and inhaling the finest scent of your soap and shampoo, your sweat, just simply you. Your back and his chest stick together in sweat, and your legs hoisted in the air under his arms as he wraps his fingers together just on the back of your head. It takes him everything not to dig his nails in. There's accidental nick here and there, and shallow scratches that'll take a week to heal.

Your trapped with no way to move other than to bow your head forward and accept his brutal assault on your pussy.

He's losing control of himself. Mindless of everything that isn't driving his cock as deep into your pussy as possible and as often as possible. His heels dug into the mattress as he slices his hips up and his balls clench. Fuck, he can pratically feel his blood in his dick, fat and swollen. It's nearly painful and only the rapid cuts of his dick pounding into your cunt is enough to satisfy it.

You're so obscenely wet that the room echoes with the sounds of squelching and smells of musk, sweat, and sloppy sex.

Secondo licks his mouth and needs to wipe the trail of drool going down his chin because he can't stop salivating. He's thirsty for more than just water. You next orgasm, your cunt strangling him, the prospect of seeing you pregnant. No matter how many times it takes. He'll do it. He can't wait to see you round and swollen with his kid, that was there is no room for arguement. You're his. If that ring around your finger wasn't proof enough. Those bitemarks on your neck. No one will be able to look at you without seeing his shadow looming over you. You're his. HIS.

He's fucking you hard enough to make your guts gurgle. Long since have you started to cry, loud sobs and tears track down your ruddy red cheeks. You can't shift, you can't move, any kind of fight would have him slipping out of you and you can't... You're so close. Bordering on a fourth and rapidly approaching the next little death.

He had shuddered as his second orgasm gums the inside of your cunt, splashing your walls and womb with his watery white seed.

His lashes fluttered from that first hit if relief. But the endorphins flared, turning his blood to the boiling point, and he didn't... He could keep going. He needed to keep going.

He can't help the growl, almost demonic, as your nails dig into his hot skin, and he works your thoughts on the lashes of another orgasm.

He's running a fever, has to be with how cold and clammy he suddenly feels, and the roller coaster sensation of his legs falling from underneath him. But he can't stop. Won't stop. He needs to make sure it takes even if it kills him. Needs you swollen with his children. Needs to coax another moan from you. Need to make you tremble again. He needs to pull one more orgasm.

He's gulping air like it's water in a desert. His sticky skin clings to yours as he rolls his hips hastily, pounding into you with delirium. Chasing after the high as though it's his last orgasm as a free man.

His dick twitches inside of you. He can't see it all sticky and swollen with the amount of orasgms he's given you. And the froth, the white bubbly cum he's stirred into you that filled over and coats your lips and the shaft of his cock like a white wedding band. In a half-minded haze he considers in investing in a mirror to see your wrecked and cock dumb visage.

Heat roars into an inferno in his stomach doused with kerosene. A hard knot behind his navel that corkscrews his intestines into a revolting kind of pleasure. It's horrid. A melting gooey warmth in his already hot and feverish insides that's hardly even felt.

He pounds into you with hiccuped shambles. What started strong has deteriorated into half thrusts but nevertheless desperate and manic. His dirty talk has dilapidated into hoarse groans and growls like a monster. His promises of fucking a baby into you has him now whispering for a mercy he denies himself. He doesn't have to keep going. He has to keep going. His balls long since draining dry and with every follow-up dry contraction of his dick nearly painful as he twists a knife into his loins, and still he keeps going.

"Nng. Hha-haa." He groans as though someone had just murdered him. Your walls tighten around him again, miniscule, the smallest flutter of your muscles that tells him he's managed to get you to come a fourth time.

Finally, finally he's given all he has. His cock sore and nerves frayed that with that with his last dry oragsm there is no point. He's spent all he has into you and has no more left to give you. He groans, stilling, and catching his breath.

He doesn't whimper when he pulls himself out, unplugging the dense load of creamy hot cum. He feels far away. His skin is oversensative, and as he finally releases you from his grip, his finger pops at how hard he had been holding you in place. He slides the pad of his fingers over your flesh, stunned and amazed and just how soft your skin feels.

He sets you aside and turns over to give you a scan and watch his copious and nearly ridiculous amount of seed as it oozes down your lips. Dribbling down your inner thigh. A gob of it fallen and stains the already wet sheets underneath you.

Secondo watches with heavy eyes. His breathing hard enough to split metal. His whole body hurts but his cock thankfully going soft.

He curls his arms around you in a hug and holds on as he tries to catch his breath and pants into the crown on your head. He traces his thumbs against your cheeks, catching your tears and sighing contently.

One of you should clean up and drink some water, but he can't move. He can barely ask you in your okay before falling asleep, and a loud snore vibrates from his throat.

You're not far behind him.

You can clean up and complain tomorrow, on top of taking another test.

#secondo x reader #papa emeritus ii x reader #papa emeritus ii #secondo #ghost the band #the band ghost #ghost band #reader insert #dee answers #dee writes

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admirxation · 10 months

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in that case... something nsfw with soldier boy? i was thinking him being a dom but then getting more sub as things go if it makes sense? 😏

Heya anon! Thank you so much for the request, I hope this lives up to your expectations. Love Soldier Boy sm so I’m glad I got to write for him !

Everyone that likes it, please like and reblog (it rlly helps) and if you're interested maybe read some more of my stuff? click here for masterlist.

Also, I have a Kofi, if anyone is willing to donate the link is here (you don't have to donate ik this economy is awful) <3

Dynamic Change | Soldier Boy one shot request

Pairing: Soldier boy x fem!reader (afab)

Summary: Soldier Boy is the answer to stop Homelander, Butcher's secret weapon, to get his revenge. While you're sceptical of this idea — sharing M.M’s concerns — you decide to just roll with the punches and see what happens. While waiting for Butcher and Hughie, you have to sit around and catch Soldier Boy up with the 21st century and try to keep him happy, convincing him to partner up and heal from his team's betrayal — but soldier boy notices something in you and wants to change the subject.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: NSFW 18+, so MINORS DNI. Female anatomy is used for the reader, and she/her pronouns and the reader is similar to Kimiko with enhanced strength because of compound v experiments. Detailed smut: dominance and submission (m starts dom and switches), pinning up against the wall, dirty talk, neck kissing, neck biting, thigh fucking, hair pulling, pushing to the bed with enhanced strength, f on top, p in v, cumming inside and begging.

As the evening sun cast a long shadow across the room, Soldier Boy sat in the bed and was dumbfounded at this strange and unique experience. He was a relic of the past; disorientated and confused, he found himself surrounded by an unfamiliar world of technology and societal changes.

He was the key to Butcher’s new plan, the weapon to use against Homelander, but the one thing that was in his way was that Soldier Boy wasn’t complying with the “team up”. You, like M.M., were sceptical of all of this; could you really trust a supe to destroy another? Especially when looking at his history. But this feeling didn’t last long; you decided that this was the only option to get revenge that everyone was craving — to get Homelander to suffer finally.

You were sitting on the sofa waiting for Butcher and Hughie to return; they told you they were running a few errands, which you knew meant ‘he’s your problem until we get back’. It wasn’t like you were in a vulnerable position, especially with the compound V that coursed through your veins and was the catalyst for your misery. It was something you and Kimiko could relate to; after learning her variation of sign language, you became closer and became each other’s comfort; you were similar to her in having enhanced strength, and this was another key component to the team — after Butcher was comfortable enough to accept you. After all, he couldn’t say no to extra manpower, especially when going against the worst villains.

You looked to your side to look at Soldier Boy holding an empty bottle as he watched the television; he seemed to be in a sense of comfort but also tense with trying to understand the new world. Every joke that happened, every bit of news and culture change was swirling through his mind; you felt bad for him and wondered what it would be like to be in his shoes — frozen and betrayed. This sympathy lasted until his intolerance slowly emerged; you tried to ignore him and understand that he was literally from a different time. Your modern presumptions were unfair, but that was still a hard pill to swallow.

“What the fuck is that?” he questioned with an exclamatory tone.

“What? The guy with his baby?”

You were watching the adverts, which showed a device a man could use to have his baby close to him, to help fathers.

“That’s what being manly is now?” he took another sip of his new and fresh bottle, “Man, you lot went soft.”

You rolled your eyes, trying not to rock the boat too hard. You didn’t want to have to answer to Butcher if you ruined all his plans. You had powers but were still intimidated by Butcher; after getting into trouble with Vought, you didn’t want to face the future alone without your team.

“Just a man wanting to be with his baby… Probably helps the wife out as well,” you paused momentarily, “I know it’s a shock, but we don’t live in the detergent commercial anymore; things changed.”

Soldier Boy furrowed his brows, looking at you with a confused expression.

“Personally, I think it’s sweet to see a man care that much about his child; it shows he doesn’t want to leave the mother and the child,” you felt the need to stand up for your beliefs around him.

Soldier Boy started to look away from you and thought about your words; you could tell he was slowly seeing your point while thinking he couldn’t be caught wearing the contraption. He knew that being frozen didn’t damage his intelligence.

“I know what you mean… I always wanted children.”

You were surprised; the Soldier Boy wanted children; he seemed like the player that would never properly settle down with anyone; you also felt a strange feeling with acknowledging that this was the beginning of Soldier Boy being vulnerable with you, wanting to break some barriers.

“Really, Soldier Boy, wanting children… Don’t take offence, but I never thought about that.”

“I don’t take offence,” he paused momentarily, “Also, just call me Ben… I know you by Y/N, not your hero name.”

“I don’t have one.”

“What? But —”

“Forced to have it,” you took a deep breath, “I didn’t get the opportunity to choose; I was experimented on.”

“Wow,” he had to process what you said, “I’m sorry… That must have been hard.”

“It was, but at least I can protect myself now.”

Ben was already accustomed to your powers. He wasn’t impressed by them but was glad to see someone without a costume on, someone grounded; still, he had sympathy with knowing that his powers were on his terms while you were the guinea pig — at least a surviving one.

“Guess that guy was right… I can’t find my team without the knowledge of today.”

“Yeah, Hughie was right,” you started to get up from the sofa, “Look, I don’t want to rock the boat, but —”

Ben cut you off: “Then don’t, already told that Hughie, Butcher and now I’m going to tell you… I’m not interested in helping anyone; I don’t care what you did for me… My old team used to be there for me and look where trusting them got me… Handed to the reds.”

“That was the past, we will help you, and all you have to do is add one more person to the list… We practically made Countess a human sacrifice for you, Hughie and Butcher have found the rest and Black Noir is a part of the Seven. Now we can —”

“Y’know, sweetheart, you might think having a team is a good thing; you get the job done, then you can laugh when the working day is over… Look, I’m sure you’re a great person, but one day, your team won’t see that. I see the way Butcher talks about people like us,” he motioned with his hands to sign you both, “He’ll make you bait in a plan one day. Get rid of you as mine did… Betray me and made me think they loved me.”

Ben was momentarily lost in thought, and you could tell he was thinking about Crimson Countess. When you met her, you were with Frenchy and Kimiko; you felt sympathy for her after watching her pathetic little tribute to Soldier Boy; after she spoke, you honestly thought there was a reason for what she and the team did; you had gathered the puzzle pieces a long time ago after investigations and using Annie for information. Yes, Ben was stubborn, but for a good reason; if you were in the same shoes and had the boys betrayed you and left you dead for decades, forgiveness wouldn’t be on your list.

“They wouldn’t do that to me; we’ve gotten into too much trouble together… Think we’re thick as thieves at this point,” you let out a small laugh to lighten the mood, “I know it hurts… Especially with Countess, but you need to help us… We need you.”

“It’s hard to forget,” he let out a deep sigh, “Y’know I wanted some rugrats of my own, with Countess, yeah ain’t that a bitch…wanted a couple of little boys and raise them up to be men, now? Now I got nothing.”

This man had lost everything, was confused and experimented on, and you could relate to him in those ways; after being forced away from home under the name of curiosity and needing to match the American supes, you were just the surviving sample. But to lose love and know that they felt nothing for you is a different type of hurt, and you didn’t want to imagine that.

“I’m sorry, but if you do change your mind,” he shot a sharp look at you, “if you change your mind. You can live your life, be free from suffering and find a woman you can have fun with… You don’t need Countess.”

You tried to give him support until you saw a mischievous smirk that crept on his face, and he looked you up and down, taking a step towards you which you mirrored by moving behind; you clenched your fingers into a fist as you had an idea of what that smirk meant, thinking in your mind that you were probably overreacting and that nothing would happen. Your back hit the cold wall, Ben still moving in your direction, his face inches away from yours and his arm moving to pin you up against the wall; you moved your face away from him to tell him you were uncomfortable with this through your body language — but his behaviour continued.

“Maybe I want to have some fun with you, honey,” he whispered, sending shivers down your spine.

While standing there, you were conflicted; you had heard the stories and shared the same hatred for the supe’s with too much power, but Ben seemed different. Granted, you didn’t know everything about him and weren’t around when he was at the peak of power, but you were attracted to him. How he looked at you, feeling his hot breath trail along your neck as you made you feel helpless under his touch.

“Do you think that is a good idea?” you met his eyes when you asked.

“If you want me to stop… Just say,” he whispered into your ear again.

You didn’t want him to stop, it was a strange situation to be in, but you wanted to see where this would go; after all, Butcher and Hughie wouldn’t be back for ages, and this could be used as some fun for you and to get Soldier Boy on the team.

“Thought so,” Ben then started to kiss your neck.

You gasped under his lips touch, feeling his smirk now and again when he heard you whimper and felt your hand place on his bicep, showing that you loved what he was doing and that you didn’t want him to stop. It felt wrong after hearing the stories about him, but you couldn’t help the attraction you felt towards him and the sympathy built up from your conversations. You wanted to just forget about the past and melt into the current situation, enjoying every sensation and feeling that made you tingle with pleasure.

“I knew you were a dirty girl,” you moaned a little as he bit your neck, leading to a gasp every time he bit down harder and harder to the point a mark was left on your neck.

His fingers then wandered, grazing over the deep v-neck collar on your dress, sliding his fingers down your breast as he continued to leave hickies and get harder when hearing your moans and whimpers.

“For someone that was frozen, you’re really good at this,” you muttered with your eyes shut and feeling the sensations Ben gave you.

“Shut up and enjoy what I’m giving you,” you got wet with his words.

His wandering hand then made its way down to where your dress ended, lifting it up to reveal your panties already submerged in a wet spot; this sent another shiver with anticipation running through your mind — trying to figure out what Ben wanted to do to you first. He moved his lips away from you and started to unbuckle his belt, leading his pants to drop to the ground and reveal his lower half. You looked down and saw his length, getting even wetter at the sight of it.

“Like what you see, doll?” you nodded.

Ben smirked at your compliance, continuing to leave hickies on the other side of your neck and positioning his cock in between your thighs, moving his hips with a back-and-forth motion and feeling your wet, clothed pussy on his member. Running his fingers through your hair and grabbing fistfuls, pulling it and making you wince now and again.

“I love how you’re such a little slut for me right now.”

You couldn’t get any words out with the pleasure you felt at that moment, the dominance and power Ben had over you, but while you were enjoying it, you wanted the dynamic to flip a little bit — have a taste of that dominance he gave you.

“How about we change some things… I’m sure you will like it,” you offered as you pushed him away from you, gently putting your hands on his biceps again, seeing him beg for you with his cock in between your soft thighs.

“Hm, guess I’ll allow it… What do you have in mind, sweetheart?”

He moved away from you, wondering what was happening in your dirty little mind, trying to figure you out — failing in the multiple attempts of analysing how you looked at him. You stepped towards him, placing your hands on his shoulders and pushing him to the bed, your strength showing with the way the bedframe hit the wall and leaving a large crumbly dent in the wall.

“Feisty… I like it,” you could tell Ben wanted more, liking how you were in control now.

You started to take your dress off, slowly unclasping your bra and revealing your naked body by stripping your underwear down your legs, slowly moving on top of him to straddle and rub your wet centre against his hard cock.

“Mmph, that feels good,” Ben started to shudder with this new feeling, a sensation he knew he would want more of.

“Do you want to feel me?” you asked him, grinding on him even more as you awaited his answer.

“Please, sweetheart, please.”

“Beg for it then.”

You loved every minute of this, seeing him vulnerable but excited by what you were doing, the dynamic flipping and making him switch behaviour.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart, let me have it… I’m starved for you.”

“More, baby.”

“Let me fuck you, please; I’m desperate to know how you feel… Come on, baby,” he was squirming while he begged.

You decided to let him have it, let him have some sort of dignity left as you hooved over and positioned your centre to let his cock inside of your wet hole.

“Oh fuck,” Ben moaned.

Finally, feeling your walls surround his cock. You smirked when seeing his smile, him closing his eyes to appreciate the moment; you started to bounce up and down on his dick and moan every time you went down for another stroke, your moans being harmonious with Bens and leading to a pool of pleasurable sounds bounce off the walls; it felt so good, and you could feel Ben want more. He put his hands on your hips, you pushing them away to drive him crazy.

“Ah, ah, ah, don’t go touching.”

“Oh fuck, you’re so good at this,” he moaned again.

He had many experiences before he was frozen with Countess and other women, but this was different. You were taking control, flipping the dynamic and letting him feel the pleasure while he was under your touch; different but still enjoyable to Ben. You moved your hands to either side of Ben’s head, your breasts lying on Ben’s chest as you continued to bounce and feel the joy fucking him was giving you. He was biting his lip, trying his best not the cum too fast, but this was getting futile the quicker you kept feeling each stroke; wanting to feel him release inside of you — a feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Please let me cum; I’m dying over here… Please.”

You thought about it for a moment, giving a lick and nibble on Ben’s neck to leave him wriggling around in gratification.

“Go ahead then,” smirking while talking.

You continued to grind your hips up and down, only this time your hands were placed on Ben’s shoulders, shoving him down into the mattress; leaving bruise imprints on his skin.

“Fuck,” Ben let out a loud and deep gasp.

While feeling Ben’s warm release inside you, this was met with your mutual pleasure, trying to catch your breath as you processed everything that happened; your eyes still rolled to the back of your head as you felt every little bit of Ben’s cum warming inside of you, dripping out when you moved away and collapsed next to him.

“That was amazing,” Ben said in between deep breaths, caressing your arm as he turned around to meet your face covered in a red dust of blush.

“You can have more… If you join us.”

“How can I say no?”

Authors note: I'm sorry this took so long, been busy with going out (having a fun time what can I say) as well as doing research for a current university project I'm working on. I hope this is good, if it isn't then... idk click off haha. If anyone has more requests please message me or submit (with user or as an anon idm). have a good day/evening <3

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jennay · 8 months

Text

Ex-Husband (2)

Bitter

An: Mentions of child loss. Also I tried editing this so many times and it never got better. I just kept getting frustrated. I ran through it one more time before being ok with this one. I hope you guys enjoy it though and I’m sorry it’s sad!

Master list

You look at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, feeling self-loath. You remember Kieran's words: "Be yourself." But you don't want to be yourself. You want to erase your past and start over somewhere new. Somewhere where no one knows who you are or what you've done. Somewhere where you can lie and pretend to be a good person who never hurt anyone. Somewhere where you don't have to face the demons inside you.

You open the drawer, pull out the little bottle of your anxiety medication, and swallow two tiny pills.

Memories flood your mind as you walk down the hallway. You thought taking down the picture would've helped remove the pain, but it didn't. Now, you stare at empty walls, plagued by the traces of what used to be there. The faded outlines of frames and nails mock you with their emptiness. You stop at the closed bedroom and stare at it, feeling a knot in your throat. You don't know if you can ever enter it again. You don't know if you can face the reminders of what you lost.

You urge yourself to keep walking, and when you reach the living room, you snatch your purse and anything else you might need. You secure your doors and step outside.

Of course, it's raining as if today wasn't hard enough already. You pull your hood over your head and sprint to your car, swiftly unlocking it and tossing your stuff on the passenger's seat.

You start the engine, fastening the seatbelt with extra care. You've seen the consequences of a loose buckle and how a split second can change everything. You still feel the guilt gnawing at your chest.

You rest your head on the steering wheel and let out a shaky breath. “Damn it.” You curse as tears cloud your vision. You lean back and wipe them away. You have to keep it together.

Your phone rings through the Bluetooth speaker. You glance at the screen and see Rory’s name. You know what he wants but aren’t sure if you want to talk to him.

You sigh, knowing you’re breaking your promise. You’re not moving on; you’re still letting him contact you. Seeing him at Jazz's birthday party a few weeks ago almost sent you into another spiral. Why are you doing this? Were you that lonely?

You feel weak knowing you continue to let him text and call you, but at the same time, talking to him feels safe and almost comfortable.

Out of desperation for someone to soothe you, you answer.

"Hey," You say while pulling out of your driveway. You try your best to smile as you speak, hoping he won't hear the sadness in your voice.

"Hey, um. I was just calling to check on you. See how you're doing." He softly says, "Uh, how are you?"

Your eyes threaten to water again. "Shitty." You say, feeling like a broken record that keeps playing the same sad song over and over.

"Me too." He admits. "I was going to go visit her." You can hear the weakness in his voice as he tries to compose himself. "It being her birthday and all, I think she would like us there."

You never thought this was something you'd go through. You never knew heartbreak like this. If someone had told you ten years ago this would be your life, you would have laughed. Your life wasn't some fucked up tragedy.

"Yeah." You quietly say.

"Do you want me to meet you there, or can we drive together? I don't mind picking you up," Rory speaks with uncertainty. He didn't know how to talk to you anymore. He tried to keep things light-hearted and superficial, never getting too deep.

"I'm driving right now." You bite your bottom lip, wondering if you should offer to come to his house.

"Oh," Rory sounds surprised like he didn't think you'd leave bed today. "I can meet you there."

You deeply sigh, "Let me come pick you up. I'm close to you anyway."

"Yeah, I'll just get ready. Text me when you're here. I'll see you shortly."

"Yep, bye." You click the end button, unsure if you made the right decision.

You turn the radio on and do your best to escape your feelings as you continue to Rory's new home. The songs don't help you ignore your feelings like you'd planned. You turn off the radio and drive in silence until you arrive at Rory's house, and when you park on the curb, you text him. Here.

Seconds later, the door opens with a loud creak, and you slightly jump from the sudden sound. You look up and see Rory standing there, holding the door handle. He's wearing a gray zip-up sweater, flannel underneath, and plain blue jeans. He looks comfortable, but his eyes are tense and anxious.

You stare at Rory briefly before grabbing your things to make space for him. "Sorry. I have stuff everywhere." You speak fast as you try to throw some things in the back seat quickly. Talking on the phone was one thing, but sitting next to him brought feelings of discomfort.

“I thought it was supposed to be nice today…” He sighs, gazing at the dark clouds and the raindrops on the window. His voice tinged with sadness.

“The world doesn’t owe us anything.” You reply, sounding harsh.

You feel his eyes on you, searching and questioning you. The way you responded was unexpected. This bitter woman wasn't you.

You hate that he makes you feel weak and exposed and doubt your decisions.

“Stop.” You snap at him, trying to sound angry and confident but only sounding hurt and insecure. “Don't make me doubt myself for letting you in again.” You warn.

He shakes his head, shoulders slumped in defeat. He looks away from you as if avoiding your eyes. He breathes out heavily, revealing his exhaustion.

Rory knows this isn't the best time to bring this up, but he needs to get it off his chest, and after today, who knows when he'll see you again? “You know, I didn’t divorce you to hurt you.” He says in a quiet voice as if admitting a mistake. “I did it because I thought it would be better for both of us. I hoped you would heal and move on like I've tried to.” He meets your gaze again, his blue eyes filled with pain and longing. “I still love you and want the best for you.” He adds softly, making your heart clench. “But I couldn’t stay with you like this. It was tearing me apart to see you suffer and not be able to help you. I felt like I lost both of you.”

“So you decided to leave me alone in that house by myself with all of our things and all of her things and expected me to heal? How could you be so heartless?” You bite your lip, holding back the tears that threaten to spill. “You know what? Forget it..” You say, shaking your head. "I needed my husband...that's what I needed, and you walked away so easily."

“I didn’t want to leave you and it sure as fuck wasn’t easy! (Y/n), you stopped trying! She was gone for a full year! I didn’t know how to deal with it either. There was no guide for what we went through.” He tries to explain, but you can’t listen to him.

You scoff, “Yeah, right. Blame it on me. That’s what you always do. I get it!”

You pull into the cemetery’s parking lot and hastily park the car as if trying to escape him. The sky is a dull gray, reflecting your mood. The air is cold and damp, making you shiver.

You avoid looking at him as you leave the vehicle. You can feel his eyes on you, full of questions, when he sees you approaching him instead of walking away like you usually would. You pull the car door open and glare at him like you’re going to scold him, but your eyes soften when you see him lower his head, “You act like I don’t understand what you’re going through,” He whispers, his voice breaking with emotion. “I lost Gracie too, remember?” He reminds you.

You shake your head, tears filling your eyes and streaming down your face. "No, you don't understand. You don't have to live with knowing you're the reason she's gone." You say bitterly, feeling resentment towards him. "You have a life, a future, a chance to be happy again. I have nothing. Nothing but this pain that won't go away." You say, pointing at your chest.

He reaches out to touch your hand, but you pull away.

"Don't." You warn him. "Don't try to comfort me. Don't try to make me feel better. Don't try to pretend that everything is going to be okay because it's not." You say.

He gets out of the car and stands next to you. Wrapping his arms around you, he pulls you close to him, ignoring your protests and struggles. He’s getting better at ignoring your spew of mean words.

He holds you tight as if afraid to let you go. He kisses the top of your head and whispers in your ear. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most.." His voice trembles with emotion. "But we can find a way to heal and move on." He says, hoping his words will reach you and make you feel something other than anger.

You stop fighting and let him hold you, exhausted and drained from the emotional turmoil.

"I'm tired of being like this." You mutter against his chest. "I don't want to be like this, but it hurts so much." You confess.

He gently rubs your back, trying to soothe you. "I know." He kisses your temple, feeling your tears wet his skin. "Let me help you."

But you don't want his help. You fear he'd abandon you again.

You shove him away, escaping his embrace. You stare at him with a blend of sorrow and fury. “You can’t help me.” You snap, turning your back on him. “I don’t deserve to be happy again.” You nearly choked on your words, part of you knowing it wasn't true.

Rory’s mouth falls open, stunned by your words. He watches you walk away from him, feeling powerless and hopeless. He wishes he could make you forgive yourself, but he knows he can’t. He knows he’s losing you and fears it won’t be just mentally much longer.

Part 3

#rory culkin fanfic #rory culkin #rory culkin x you #rory culkin x reader #roryculkin #culkin cult #ex husband 2

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final-girl96 · 2 months

Text

Firefly Chapter Fifty-Four

Authors Note: This chapter is in Ellie's pov. I felt it was important to put her pov and the flashback of her and Riley in this story. Chapter 55 will be the flashback, and Chapter 56 will probably be a mix of Ellie and yn pov. This will also follow the game version, Left Behind Flashback of Ellie and Riley.

Ellie

Yn and I got Joel onto one of the sleeping bags, using a rope to tie it to one of the horses. I could tell she was holding in the pain by the look on her face. We had to find shelter. The later it got, the colder it got. Yn was still bleeding where that fucker stabbed her in the shoulder. She would also need first aid supplies and that was one thing we didn't have. “There's a mall up ahead. We can take shelter there for the night.” I looked up to where yn was pointing and nodded my head.

When we made it to the mall, we found a way inside, and we led the horses into one of the stores closer to the entrance. It was the only one that had enough room for them. “We need to find a first aid kit. I can go out and search the mall stores. There has to be something around who, right?” I was checking how much ammo I had left in my gun. “You're not going out there alone,” yn said, kneeling beside an unconscious Joel. She lifted up his shirt, revealing the wound. It was deep enough that he needed stitches and would need medicine so it wouldn't get infected.

Yn took the flannel she was wearing under her coat off and ripped it into strips, tying them together and using a piece to place over the wound. Then she tied that around his waist to help slow the bleeding. “What about you?” I asked. She shrugged, still looking down at Joel. “I'll be fine.” She said, sitting back onto the floor. “Let's just rest here for a little while, then we'll go search the mall.” I didn't argue and sat down, propping myself up against an empty shelf. We sat in silence, and I watched yn slowly fall asleep. When I was sure she was sleeping, I got up and headed out into the mall.

I only intended to look in the shops on the ground floor where we were, but a lot of the stores were locked or boarded up. It looks like they tried to make this a safe haven for people. Parts of the mall were also barricaded and blocked off. I walked the whole bottom floor before turning around and heading up the escalators to the second floor. I walked to the end and was relieved to see a pharmacy around the corner. The other side of the mall was blocked off from where I stood.

The gate to the pharmacy was opened halfway, so I slid under it, my knife in hand. I pulled my backpack off and grabbed my flashlight, clicking it on. The small beam of light illuminated the disheveled shelves in front of me. Everything was in chaos, and the shelves were bare. I carefully walked down the aisles, lifting broken shelves to check the bottles under them, but every bottle was empty. “What did you do, take the pills and leave the bottle?”

I huffed and walked back to the front of the store where the counter was. There's a door that leads to the back where I assume they would have kept extra medication and things. Looking through the small window, I saw a first aid kit laying in the middle of the floor. “Jackpot.” My hand landed on the door knob but I was left disappointed when it was locked. “Damnit.” Turning around, I went to the counter and started looking in the drawers and around the register. “There has to be a key here somewhere.” While looking around on the floor and bottom shelves, a piece of paper caught my eyes.

PLEASE READ!

PHARMACIST WENT CRAZY AND ATTACKED ME. I HIT HIM PRETTY HARD HE'S UNCONSCIOUS. I LOCKED HIM IN THE AMERICAN PRINCESS STORE NEXT DOOR.

PLEASE GET HIM HELP COMBINATION:

35-30-31

“The pharmacists. Maybe he has the key.”

Stepping around the counter and ducking under the gate and back out into the mall. The American Princess shop was just right next door. After looking and listening to make sure there weren't any infected close by, I knelt down. There was a lock on the bottom of the gate. I glanced at the paper and quickly put the combination in. Feeling the lock click, I pushed the door up just enough to slip under. This store was darker than the pharmacy, and when I clicked, my light on spores surrounded me, floating in the air while the Cordyceps took over everything. There was definitely someone in here.

I stepped around the vines of fungus, careful not to step on them. I still remember what happened at the Capitol building when Joel killed that infected guy. How hundreds of them came sprinting straight for us. When I found the pharmacist, he was surrounded by it, slumped against the shelves. I crouched down in front of him and reached out to check his pockets. “Please be dead.” I felt in the front breast pocket of his once white jacket and both the key and pictures. It was him with some girl before the outbreak, I guessed. I didn't think much of it, wanting to get back to the pharmacy.

When I got back to the front, I stopped, crouching behind a shelf. An infected slowly passed by, and from the sounds it was making, it sounded like it was a clicker. After it passed, I slipped under the door, staying crouched down while following it, careful not to make any noise. My knife in hand raised up slowly, snuck up on it, and jumped on its back, sinking the blade into its temple before it could shrike and alert any other infected.

When I was sure it was dead, I made my way from the locked door, unlocking it, and rushing to the first aid kit. I was left disappointed when I opened it. “Fucking great!” I kicked it across the room in frustration that it was empty. The window to this room was busted out and led to the other side of the mall though, giving me more shops to explore. When I jumped through It, snow covered everything.

The roof had collapsed in, and the source of it gave me a little more hope of finding something. A medevac helicopter teetered on the edge of the baloney on top of steel beams just on the other side. “There has to be a first aid kit in that helicopter. I just need to get over there.” I looked around for a way I could get there. The easiest way was blocked, and the other way was destroyed. There was a camera store that I could go through to get to the other side, though. The only problem was that the roof was caved in over top of it and was filled with snow. I would need to be careful going through it.

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rileebilee · 1 year

Text

set free.

isaacwhy x fem!reader

warnings: angst, suicide, mentions of od, self-harm, eating disorder, ect.

a/n: hi.... so i need more request pretty plz. also im super sorry for this uhhh..

requested?: no

i sobbed to myself silently, for fucks sake my life was going downhill, everyone must hate ne, they must think im ugly also. my mom overdosed yesterday night and i havent leftmy room nor told anyone, ive ignored their calls, texts, face times, knocks. everything is so fucking bad.

i would pay anything if i could leave this world.

ISAACS POV.

im worried.

y/n hasnt left her room at all. she's not eating, sleeping, talking, we all dont know why, but we're scared. really. scared.

the last time she did this she almost killed herself, thats why.

i got up from my bed when i heard my phone ding, my eyes widened to see a message from y/n, it was a long paragraph on why shes sorry for everything she did and why she loves all of us so much, assuming this was sent to everyone. oh fuck.

i ran out to the others quickly.

"did you get thr message too?" nick said, all of them looking worried.

"she did this last time also, we need to go up there but ill be the one talking." i said, trying to stay calm.

we all went up there and i knocked on the door.

"y/n?, its me isaac. can you please unlock the door, we can talk about whatevers going on."

no response.

"y/n?" larry said this time "we all want to make sure your okay, we dont want you to harm yourself or anything.

"we could go through the bathroom? you can get in from there." tanner said

we all walked to her bathroom, figuring out that she was harming herself, the floor being covered in dry blood, pill bottles scattered, blade on the counter, larry froze, nick making him leave with tanner to leave and figure out how to calm themselfs.

3RD PERSON POV.

yumi and isaac slowly opened the door, peaking through it to see y/n almost lifeless on the ground.

"fuck dude." nick said from behind yumi, isaac running over to check if she was still breathing.

"y/n, can you hear me?" isaac questioned, holding her hand, yumi calling 911, nick freaking out trying to figure out what to do.

time skip cuz i dont know what to do..

y/n was breathing slowly in the hospital bed, isaac staring at her.

isaac was the most depressed out of all of them. he couldn't even try to not be emotional, loosing the girl he loved the most made him hurt. alot. he watched her lay there almost lifeless, holding her was the worst.

larry kept blaming himself, he felt like he always annoyed her, he joked too much. but he lost his funny personality and now he cant even peep a word.

tanner was alone, y/n felt like a sister to him, a best friend, a workout buddy, he felt empty inside. he didnt know what to do without her.

nick was a mess, he loved y/n like his sister also, his vlog buddy, his friend. everything was lonely without her.

yumi was the moodiest and quiet. he didnt talk to anyone, no one, not even her or the doctors, he never thought about what would happened if one of them died since her last accident. he was extremely upset.

all of them were silent on social media, grunk found out right after she was admitted to the hospital, he also was silent. the only message he said was "me and the group will be off twitter for a bit, thank you." which the others reposted, except for y/n. all of the fans were suspicious about this, she had spoke out about her mental health on the internet a few times, talked about her past, ect. her father was one of the first to be reached out when she was first in the ambulance, he explained what had might of caused this.

isaac was speaking to her softly, apologizing so many times, holding her hand, sobbing. until he had felt a squeeze on his hand. his head reached up and eyes brightened.

"its okay isaac, it wasnt your fault." she smiled brightly, she looked at larry who was smiling at her, going on the other side of her and hugging her gently. "and im sorry you had to see that larry, im sorry yumi, nick, and tanner." they had all hugged her.

she had stayed in the hospital for a few more days until she was allowed to go home, everyone was better and happy. she had also got help and reached out to a therapist, leading for her mental health to get better and made sure she never had anything to harm herself with again.

but thats only in fairy tales.

y/n had passed on a few days later, her overdose was a large dose. she was barely able to breathe. she had died the night everyone was there.

everyone watcher her coffin lower into her grave, isaac couldnt handle this anymore, he bursted out crying into yumis arms, he thought he did a terrible job as a lover, a partner, a friend.

yumi was standing on the roof of a building he had found, wind hitting his face watching the sunset, he had left all of his stuff at home. maybe suicide was a way to meet her again. he jumped off and landing in the water drowning himself.

larry was next, he found himself in the woods with a rope, tying it onto the tree he found, sunset hitting his face. he had it around his neck. jumping off.

tanner had dissapered one morning, never to be seen again. leaving nothing but a sorry note, his favorite items, clothes, ect.

nick had gotten into a car accident, running his car into a tree while drunk and not able to see.

isaac had posted on twitter about the group ending, he apologized and explained what happened with y/n. not going too deep into her story.

he took the pills on his desk and swallowed them, pulling the cover over his body, leading himself into a deep dark sleep.

maybe sometime in another life.

#the group chat #the group chat podcast #isaacwhy #bigt #marswhyyy #larrycroft #softwilly #yumi #grunk #angst #imsorry #uhmm crying rn

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princessconsuela120 · 10 months

Text

Chapter Three: Hello My Old Heart —✧

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: Cursing, mentions of abortion, mentions of sex.

Author's Note: I've started to add my own songs that display the story, since this is also a partly different storyline. Also, side not I love Kenny so much, their friendship is just "Mwah.” And depending on certain chapter some may have a different art heading. For example, this lovely art by @silvell shows the picture Juno has hanging in her car, that is said in the chapter. Enjoy you guys!

—✧

I HATE DRIVING THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING. My old and practically broken truck seems to be even louder when no one else is around. It smelt like leather in here, from my maneuver i'm assuming. It was way too early to be on the road. The polaroid picture Kyle gave me dangled from a loose string tied to my mirror, a small pile of empty Diet-coke cans and Sunny D bottles clang together on the floor of the passenger seat, filling more of the quietness along with the squeaking. When it came to being that my brother could finally drive, our parents were skeptical on what to do. We owned a nice car to give to one of us when we were ready, but the two of us couldn't share anything for shit. After a long 15 round game of rock paper scissors, I had lost the car. But my parents felt bad for me, so my dad gave me his old weed van, usually used for moving weed, that was now used for moving living room sets while I was accompanied by my childhood Garfield plush.

A loud sigh left my chest as I parked the car, taking a full 15 minutes to collect myself before walking to the entrance. I was surprised to see my brother’s girlfriend, and my close friend Wendy Testaburger standing at the door, protesting?

“All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!” She shouted, holding a sign up in the air, one I could tell she drew by the large cute eyes she gave to the baby.

“Hey, Wendy.” I greeted, smiling at the brunette as she lowered her sign.

“Oh, hi, Juno. How are you?” She said sweetly, giving me a kind smile, one that seemed to calm my nerves about being here. Wendy Testaburger was one of the kindest, most welcoming people I have ever met. I was relatively close with her ever since kindergarten, and happy that if my brother dated anyone it was her. She was wonderful, and never failed to make me feel important. And she wasn't judging me for being here of all places, you could tell she wasn't.

“You know, pretty solid. You’re a protestor now?” I asked, causing her to look down at her sign with a chuckle.

“Yeah well, PC principal said we could get extra credit protesting for a cause and well, you know how much I love babies..” she said awkwardly, not expecting to see a classmate during her protest.

“So did you write that paper for Worth's class yet?” I asked, and she nodded her head as she let her sign drop completely at her sides.

“No, not yet. I tried to work on it last night, but I'm having trouble concentrating.” she explained, making me nod.

“Oh, well, I'll give you some of my Adderall.” It's not like I'd be able to use it for a while anyway.

“No, thanks. I'm off pills.”

“That's a wise choice, because I knew this girl, she had this crazy freak-out… Because she took too many meds at once...And she just ripped off her clothes, dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall...And was like, "I am a kraken from the sea!"” I explained, chuckling at the memory as Wendy gave me a strange look.

“Juno, that was you…i was there..” she said softly, making me nod at the awkward silence before making my way inside.

“Well, it's good seeing you, Wendy. I’ll probably see you later at the house.” I said as I left, but Wendy didn't let up.

“Your baby probably has a beating heart, you know.” She shouted after me, causing me to sigh as I kept walking. “It can feel pain. And it has fingernails!” I stopped, turning to look at her with furrowed brows.

“Fingernails? Really?” I asked, not really directing it to her either, mostly just surprised at the revelation . I continued my way inside, being greeted by a strange looking girl sitting at the reception desk. Considering the knowledge I had gained from when Stan went goth, I think she was goth as well. She was adorned in black makeup, and as pale as snow, and had silver and black jewelry covering her body. Yuo, definitely a goth. Probably forced into this job by her parents, because she didn't seem to want to be there anymore than I did.

“Welcome to Women Now, where women are trusted friends. Please put your hands where I can see them and surrender any bombs.” She said in a low monotone voice, not once looking up at me from her computer.

“Hey, I'm here for the big show.” I joked, earning a glare from the receptionist.

“Your name, please?”

“Juno Marsh.” I said, handing her my printed paperwork from the previous night. She glanced at me with a raised eyebrow. She thinks I'm using a fake name, like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa. SHe let her eyebrow fall back to its normal spot, before handing me even more paperwork to sign below my already printed paper.

“I need you to fill these out, and don't skip the hairy details. We need to know about every score and every sore.” She said, before gesturing to the jar full of individually wrapped condoms. Kinda like how hair salons have a jar of lollipops, the abortion clinic had condoms. It really helped with the scenery. “Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry.”

“No, I'm off sex right now.” I replied, taking my paperwork. I don't think I'll ever be “on” sex again if I'm being honest.

“My boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse.” she said with a smirk, finally looking up at me again. “They make his junk smell like pie.” I didn't look back at her, simply giving a look as I walked away, handing the paperwork in as I went to sit down.

I think this was the first time in a while I was aware of the fact that I was biting my fingernails. Fingernails. Damn you Wendy Testaburger. My eyes shifted back and forth around the room, the noise of nails scratching against magazines captivating my mind. I looked around at the other women, then at their fingernails, most of them being picked at or anxiously scratching against some kind of surface, and that's when I broke. I bolted for the door, ignoring any looks I may have received, and I ran for Kenny’s house not too far from the clinic. Wendy sent me a proud smile, shouting at me that she was proud of me before I ran out of her view.

—✧

“Dude, what are you doing here? I'm supposed to come get you at 4.” Kenny said, greeting me at the door, confused by my anxious pacing back and forth. I stopped, slapping my hands to my side as I looked up at him.

“I couldn't do it, Ken. It smelled like a dentist's office in there.” i began pacing again when Kenny came fully out of his house. “And there were horrible magazines with water stains. The receptionist tried to get me to take condoms that look like grape suckers… And just babbling away about her frigging boyfriend's pie balls.”

“Sick..” Kenny mumbled, making me roll my eyes as I stopped pacing. My eyes widened as I ran through the events in my head.

“And Wendy Testaburger was there. And she was like, "Oh, hi. Babies have fingernails." Fingernails!” I shouted, shoving my fingernails in his face, causing Kenny to push my hands down gently, pulling his hood off to address the seriousness of my outburst.

“That's gruesome. Do you think the baby can scratch your vag on the way out...?” Kenny teased, making scratching motions as I groaned, running my hands down my face. I take a moment to collect myself, before making direct eye contact with him.

“I'm staying pregnant, Kenny.” I grumbled, making Kenny look around, coming up to me and holding his hands over my mouth dramatically.

“Dude. You gotta keep your voice down, okay? My mom is inside. She doesn't know that we're sexually active.” He said anxiously, causing me to raise an eyebrow at him. Now since he's my best friend I can say this, but Kenny Mccormick is the biggest horndog on planet earth. He was getting blowjobs before I even knew what those were. I love him to death, he's my other half and all, but there was no way his mom didn't know she gave birth to a monster. He sighed at my questioning look.

“Okay, maybe she definitely knows I'm sexually active, but if she hears you she’s gonna wanna talk to me about it and I can't deal with that shit dude.” He whined, grabbing my arms and pulling me to follow him to the park nearby, to our spot.

“What does that even mean? I've been thinking. I was thinking I could have this baby and give it to someone that totally needs it. Like a woman with a bum ovary, or a couple nice lesbos. Maybe Big Gay Al and Mr Slave want a baby, they seem like they'd love a nice jewish redheaded child.” I said, and he gave me a look, his face scrunched up with disgust at the thought of me being pregnant.

“But then you're gonna get huge, and your chest is gonna milktate...And you're gonna have to, tell people that you're pregnant. And you won't be able to smoke for a while.” He explained, and I found it hard to argue, but still I tried.

“Maybe they'll canonize me for being so selfless.”

“Or maybe they'll, like, totally shit and be really, really mad...And not let you graduate or go to the Springs for spring break.” Somehow I had ended up hoisted on Kenny's back, getting a piggyback from the boy all the way to the park. I honestly don't know how he held my weight up sometimes, but Piggyback rides were just something we did.

“I was gonna go to the Rockies’s with Kyle anyway.” I said nonchalantly, not seeing the smirk that formed on Kenny’s lips at my words.

“You should look at adoption ads. I see them all the time in the PennySaver.” He offered, making me laugh slightly.

“They still make a newspaper?” He shook me, trying to get me to fall off his back before I giggled loudly, pulling myself back up.

“Shut up, you know I can't afford tv news.”

“They really have ads for parents?” I asked, and he nodded, detouring to grab a newspaper from the park entrance.

“Yeah. "Desperately Seeking Spawn." Right next to, terriers and iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff. It's totally legit.” He took a newspaper, and carried us to our park bench, carefully dropping me onto it.

Somehow, after hours spent reading the newspaper, Kenny and I had ended up grabbing slushies from the convenient stand, exactly what we needed in the 20 degree Colorado weather. My legs were over his lap as we laid messily flipping through the news.

"Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." All that's missing is your bastard.” Kenny read out loud, nudging me when he looked over at me laying my head back, not paying attention.

“I want a parakeet.” I mumbled, the sunglasses I was wearing being pulled from my face as Kenny tried to get my attention.

“You're totally not even listening to me.”

“No, I heard you. I don't wanna give the baby to a family...That describes themselves as wholesome.” I explained, taking a long swig from my slushie as Kenny sighed with defeat.

“Why?”

“I just want something a little edgier.” I explained, sitting up in my spot. Kenny kept scanning the newspaper.

“What did you have in mind exactly?”

“I was thinking more like a graphic designer, mid-thirties… With a cool Asian girlfriend who dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass” I explained, turning to see Kenny giving me a look that said ‘are you serious right now.’ I smiled at him, my now blue lips widening. “But I don't wanna be too particular.”

“Okay. How about this? "Educated, successful couple seeking infant...To join our family of five. You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love." That sounds great.” He seemed to hesitate on saying they were ‘great,’ and I can see why.

“They sound like a frigging cult. They already have three kids. They're just greedy little bitches.” I groaned, feeling the defeat of this search, wondering why I didn't just go to Unplanned parenthood and drop off my fetus for them to grow themselves.

“Juno, how about this one?” Kenny shoved my arm, a sense of excitement as he handed me the newspaper. They were Mark and Vanessa Loring...And they were beautiful even in black and white.

—✧

“Where the fuck have you been!?” Stan shouted, not allowing me a moment of peace. I swear the second the front door opened he was screaming. I do love my brother, he was quite literally me with a penis, but that didn't change the fact that I really hated him sometimes. The fact that our parents were out to dinner right now didn't help the volume of Stan’s screaming.

“Out.” I grumbled, placing my keys in the key holder before trying to walk away. I needed a drink, damn you alcohol blocking fetus.

“Right, of course. You were “out.”” Stan scoffed, making me roll my eyes as I turned to face him.

“What do you want, Stan?” I asked coldly, and he just sighed, taking a second to look at me. Then his eyes trailed down, and he looked at my stomach. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…he knew. How the fuck did he know. God damn my life.

“I know okay? I saw the fucking papers on your bed.” He said, throwing the crumbled up abortion document at me. I wanted to cry, I could feel angry tears pricking at my eyes, and a burning bile forming on the back of my throat.

“You had no right, that was my fucking privacy! You just can’t mind your own damn business!” I shouted, pointing a shaky finger at him, trying desperately to hold back my tears.

“You got an abortion Juno! An abortion! Without telling anyone, do you understand how fucking insane that is!” He shouted back, and I sighed, trying to calm myself and Stan.

“Yes, I do and just listen to me okay I think that..” he interrupted.

“What the hell were you thinking!? What if mom found that paper, what if dad did!?” He continued shouting, his face turning a deep crimson as the oxygen was cut off due to all his screaming.

“I know I know, just listen to me…” He interrupted again.

“That’s so dangerous Juno, what if something happened, regardless of the fact you’re fucking pregnant, what if you got hurt?” He continued rambling, about to keep talking before I grabbed the napkin holder off the table, chucking it at him angrily. He ducked, letting the holder hit the wall as I began speaking.

“I didn’t get an abortion okay! Because your dumb girlfriend wouldn’t shut up about how my fetus has fingernails. Fingernails!” I shouted back at him, holding my hands out, before sighed and held a hand over my chest. “I'm sorry, you know I love Wendy I just, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” Everything seemed to dawn on me at that moment. He still didn't know it was Kyle’s. He didn't know that a part of his best friend was growing inside of me right now, and he was already this angry. And this isn't even the worst of it all. I still had parents to tell, and classmates to find out, and a whole life that I used to have that was now gone. I couldn't help but feel my chest closing in.

“You are fucking insane you know that?” Stan hissed, and I simply rolled my eyes, holding a hand on my chest to keep back my panicked tears.

“Oh please, you’re a seventeen year old alcoholic, but I’m the crazy one.” I laughed bitterly, hunching over on the table as I heard Stan huff behind me.

“You’re seventeen too Juno, you’re fucking seventeen, and you’re pregnant! What are you even gonna do? This is beyond irresponsible, you’re never getting your life back after this!”

“God stan I know okay! I fucking know!” I shouted back, Stan staring back at me with empty eyes. “And, you yelling at me isn’t making it any fucking easier. I’m so scared shitless and I just, I need my brother. I need..” My breathing began picking up, as I knelt down to the ground, closing in on myself. It was like something clicked in Stan's mind, that I was still his sister. His baby sister, who was losing her breath on the ground.

“Hey, hey I’m sorry.” He said softly, kneeling down and pulling me into his chest. “I’m sorry. It’s okay Junebug, I’m right here.” he reassured, holding me close as I sobbed into his chest. I pulled away, sighing as I wiped my tears.

“I-i have a whole plan. Kenny and I found this couple, in the Penny saver. I’m gonna go and meet them, and hopefully give them the baby once it’s born. I just, I need your help telling mom and dad.” Stan nodded, pulling me back into his chest, his heart racing just as fast as mine.

“Of course Junebug, I’ll be there.”

#south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski

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unreadpoppy · 5 months

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You won't remember this when morning comes

Modern AU! Raphael x Fem! Tav.

Read on AO3

Summary: Raphael drinks too much and finds himself in front of his ex's house.

A/N: Obviously it's OOC cause he's drunk. Also, this is lowkey sad, so take it as you will.

Tav had been woken up by the sound of someone pounding on her door. She briefly looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 3 am. She tried to ignore it but when the person started yelling, she decided enough was enough. Tav got up, still in her pajamas, and rushed to the door.

Looking through the magic eye, she saw none other than her ex, Raphael. She frowned and opened the door.

“What the fuck are you doing here at this hour?” Tav crossed her arms.

Raphael had his head down, and one hand extended towards the wall, trying to keep himself upright. When she answered the door, he looked up. “Tav, my love, finally.”

“Are you drunk?” She asked him. Raphael let go of the wall and tried to say something, but he swayed and fell towards Tav. She held him, and with a quick sniff, she figured he was indeed drunk. “Argh, you reek of alcohol.”

“I don’t get drunk.” He said, in a slurred voice. Tav rolled her eyes.

“‘Sure.” She put one of his arms around her neck and sighed. “C’mon, let’s get you inside.”

“You truly, truly, are the best, my love.”

“Don’t call me that.” Tav replied, placing him on the couch. She went to her room to grab her phone.

“Why not? Aren’t we in love?” He exclaimed.

She was calling someone and waiting for the call to pick up. In the meantime, she answered.

“No, Raphael, we broke up two years ago.” The person she called answered. “Hi, Korilla, it’s me, Tav. Look, I’m calling you cause Raphael showed up in my house, and he’s very drunk. Can you come pick him up?...Okay, I’ll be waiting then. Bye.” She put the phone on the table and looked at him. “Korilla’s gonna come to take you home.”

“What, what do you mean we broke up?” Tav ignored his question and went to the kitchen. “I thought we were engaged?”

She came back with a cup of water in hand and a pill. “Take this, it will make you feel better.”

Raphael scrunched his face. “I won’t unless you answer my questions.”

Tav sighed. “Fine. We were engaged two years ago, but I decided to cancel it and we haven’t spoken since. Now take the damn pill.” She stared at him as he did so. In their years together, she had never seen him drunk. For some time, she thought he was not even capable of doing so. “How much did you drink?”

He downed the pill in one go, drinking the water. A few minutes passed and he seemed slightly less troubled. “Almost nothing. I had some brandy, some scotch, and then many, many bottles of red wine.” He replied, putting the empty glass cup in a nearby table.

“Jesus christ, no wonder you’re like this.” She put a hand in her face and sat down next to him. There was some time until Korilla arrived, and Tav decided to indulge him in conversation. “You were never one to drink this much. What happened?”

Raphael looked at her, those brown eyes filled with a sudden sadness. He looked like one of those sad dogs that you’d see on the internet. “I…I was thinking about you.” Tav looked at him, one brow furrowed. “About…how we left off.”

“So, you remember now?” She asked. Raphael nodded.

“I-I just don’t understand. Why did you go? I thought-I thought you loved me.” Raphael said with a hurt voice. Tav almost felt bad for him.

She sighed. “I did love you, Raphael. But you didn’t love me.”

His eyes widened and he turned his whole body towards her. “Not love you? What kind of silly idea is that?” Raphael held her hands. “Please, Tav, surely you know that you meant everything to me.”

She gently removed her hands from his grasp. “I want to believe that. I really do.” Tav put a hand on his face. “But you only love yourself. I do not doubt that you liked me or cared for me, but it was never love. In the grand scheme that is your life, I was merely a footnote.”

“You weren´t-”

“Yes, I was and you know that.” He looked down, in shame. With her hand, she made him look at her again. “We did have a good thing, for a time. But your love for yourself was always in the way. You only thought about your comfort, your problems, your likes and dislikes. And sure, you treated me well, you pampered me but you didn’t truly love me, Raphael. I was just something to make you look good.”

Tav took a deep breath. He looked pained but she needed to tell him everything. “I had to put myself first. I needed to be with someone who wanted me for who I was, not for what I could be to them. All your relationships are merely transactional. You don’t open yourself up, you weren’t always honest with me. The further we would get would be an inevitable divorce.”

“But-but if you talked to me, I could have changed, I-”

“You wouldn’t.” Tav removed her hand from his face. “This is the first time I’ve seen you be vulnerable and you’re shit faced.” She huffed. “I doubt you’ll even remember this when morning comes.”

“Tav…” She couldn’t bear to look him in the eye.

“Look, Raphael. I’ve moved on, I found someone good for me. You should too.”

“But I don’t want somebody else, I want you!” And then he did something she had never seen him do: Raphael broke into tears. He hid his face in his hands as he sobbed. “You left a hole inside of me and I tried pretending it didn’t bother me, but it did, Tav, it did. And it was all my fault.”

Tav petted his back. She did feel bad for him now, as she never liked seeing people cry. But again, they would never have worked.

“I could have given you the world.” Raphael said, his crying have stopped.

“I never wanted the world. I only wanted you - the real you.” And they both knew he couldn’t give her that.

Before he could reply, there was a knock on the door. She reached forwards and gave him a kiss on the forehead, like when you kiss a crying child. “Despite everything, I still care about you, Raphael. But you need to care about other people too.” Tav got up and so did he.

She opened the door, Korilla on the other side. “Thank you so much for coming.”

The other woman nodded. “It’s nothing. Thank you for keeping an eye on him.” Raphael sighed and went to her side. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Bye.” Tav said.

“Bye.” Raphael whispered, and left.

Hours later, when Raphael woke up with a terrible headache, he didn’t remember what had happened last night, only having a vague feeling of sadness that followed him during the day.

After that night, Raphael and Tav never saw each other again.

#raphael x tav #raphael baldur's gate 3 #raphael bg3 #tav bg3 #tav baldur's gate 3 #tw: drinking #my writing

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all-my-love-for-harry · 2 years

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my happy little pill ✿ | timothée chalamet

my masterlist | warnings: developing dependence to medication, going through withdrawal.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Mavis has struggled with anxiety pretty much her whole life. For as long as she could remember she's had trouble to execute simple tasks with ease. Like going to the mall on her own or driving a car.

Therapy helped a lot to work on her confidence but four or so years ago her anxiety got so bad they decided to prescribe her some medication to help with her anxiety attacks. Making the decision of starting to take the pills was a big deal to her, and she felt lucky she had Timothée on her corner.

The first two years went by smoothly, taking the medication only when needed. If she was honest she kind of liked the feeling of temporary numbness it brought her every time she popped a pill in her mouth. After so many years of thinking too much it was nice to not feel anything.

The pills also helped her with the terrible insomnia she's had for years. She started noticing how good she'd sleep when she took it, and soon she became dependent on them, taking it even when she wasn't feeling anxious or having an attack, doubling the dose hoping it would make it feel even better.

Timothée began to notice how her medication started to run out sooner than expected, how she stopped taking the pills with him in the same room because she didn't want him to see how many she was taking. He didn't want to make Mavis uncomfortable by asking her but he was starting to really worry about his girlfriend.

"Timmy," Mavis calls out as she enters their shared bedroom. "I'm going out for a bit, I shouldn't take long."

Before she could exit the room, Timothée poked his head out of the master bathroom. "Where are you going?"

"I have to uh- pick up some things at the pharmacy." She forgot to lie and immediately cringed at the way his eyebrows furrowed.

"The pharmacy? Are you feeling sick?"

She figured she couldn't lie now so she told the truth. "I ran out of my pills." She mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear. But of course he did.

"What do you mean you ran out?" With slight panic in his voice he pushed past her, making his way to the cabinet they kept the medications in and searched for her anxiety medication. When Mavis caught up with him he was already holding the empty bottle in his hands, examining it carefully. "These were supposed to last until - chérie," his tone changed to a softer one once he realized. "How many pills have you been taking?"

She lowered her gaze. "Just the amount prescribed."

"Mavis." Timothée's tone was dead serious. He never used her full name, always opting for sweet pet names. That's how she knew he was not playing around. "Have you been feeling anxious lately?"

"The pills help." She mumbled. "I take three before going to sleep every night." Mavis hated lying to her boyfriend, and seeing the worry in his eyes made her feel guilty. "They make me feel good, Timmy. I need them." Her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears making Timothée to drop the medication bottle and pull her into a hug.

"My sweet girl, I know you do. But you can't crank up your dose like that." He pulled away to swipe the tears off her face with his thumbs. "It's making you more damage than good. You're not yourself, I've noticed."

"But I'm better." She tried to argue. "They make my brain numb, I like that. They also make me sleep better, you know how much I've struggled with that. Please just let me go get them, I will only take the amount prescribed, I promise."

"I don't believe you." He shook his head. "I think we should make an appointment and revisit the idea of the pills."

This made her panic. "No! You do not understand. I...I can’t sleep, I can’t eat without those p-pills...t-they’ve helped me a-and I-I can’t-- I can't s-top taking them."

More tears began to fall and he took this a sign delicately pick her up and place her on the sofa. He kneeled in front of her and began to massage her arms. "Mavis, honey, I need you to breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?"

He started taking deep breaths, in and out, until she started mimicking them to help her calm down. They stayed silent for a while, Mavis taking a hold of Timothée's hand and squeezing it now and then, him doing the same to help keeping her grounded and as a reminder he was still there.

"You're right." She finally spoke. "I should probably stop taking them for a while. I'm just... Timmy, I'm scared of feeling the way I did before."

His eyes softened. "I'm right here, chérie. It won't be easy at the beginning but we'll figure it out, okay?"

He was right. It wasn't easy. The first night was the toughest, her insomnia making a comeback when she didn't take the pills before getting ready for bed. But as he promised, Timothée stayed awake with her as she laid on his chest, stocking her hair gently as she played with the plain silver chain that rested on his naked chest.

He hummed a soft, calming melody to help her relax. That night they didn't sleep at all, watching in silence how the sun raised and the sky cleared from the windows of their bedroom.

They repeated the same routine the next night, Timothée trying some white noises on the speakers because he read that helped people with insomnia to sleep. He carefully crafted a playlist, filtering all the sounds he knew she wouldn't like. The sound of rain made her anxious and the ocean terrified her.

"I feel bad you're not getting any sleep because of me." She said the third night she was getting ready for bed.

"In sickness and in health, baby."

"We're not married." She said as she got into bed, assuming her position on her boyfriend's chest.

"Mmm, we could be." He replied softly before placing a kiss on her temple.

Withdrawal was the worst experience of her entire life. Her hands were shaking more than ever, her knee was bouncing so hard the person next to her was able to feel it. She wanted those pills, she needed those pills. It would be so much easier to just go back to not feel anything rather than feeling every emotion amplified, but she continued to push through.

The first two weeks were a living hell for her, constantly thinking she wouldn't make it, and when she was about to give up and just run to the pharmacy for a new bottle of pills, she'd catch Timothée making her a cup of tea every night, buying expensive silk covers because he read those made you sleep better, fluffing her pillow and lighting a candle with her favorite essence. He was going up and beyond to make sure she felt safe and comfortable.

"I love you so much, Mav. You're so brave, so strong. I can't believe you're mine. I'm gonna make sure you always feel safe."

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fake-eyes-opennn · 1 year

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Guess this is Goodbye

This is a work of fiction everything mentioned below is fake.

⚠️Warning⚠️: mention of Blood,pills,accidents,death,surgery,grieve,Angust,injuries.

For those who find this uncomfortable please do leave. Also not edited.

This is a work of fiction i don't wish or have bad intentions for anyone hope you put that in mind Thankyou.

'was this it' you thought. you never thought this was how things would end between you two. but here you are on the cold floor sobbing your brain not processing things over. Things were just fine this morning how can things turn upside down this quick.

4 hours earlier.....

"Vitamins Chan," you yelled.

"I just had my coffee,"

"So,"

"you won't eat much since you have a your concert today,"

"You know I can't perform in a full stomach you fed me an entire meal,"

"neither in an empty stomach now say 'ah' I will give you some gum it will help you digest well till you get there and how is your back?"

"better," he said eyeing you.

"be more accurate please does it bother you when you walk or bend," you said going behind him feeling his back.

"stop y/n I shouldn't have told you,"

"ofc I should as a your personal doctor and your wife your my 1st priority,"

"If you keep talking to me that way I might not leave at all,"

"silly,"

"what time does your surgery ends?" Chan ask taking the pill in his mouth and grabbing a bottle of water.

"not sure it might take me 2-4 hours,"

"you think you could make it the boys miss you,"

"I will be there as soon as am done,"

"great I have to go now I love you," he gave you a peck and he was out.

1 hours later.....

"Good job guys.Emily finish up thank you," you said leaving the surgery room taking off your scrub heading to shower.

you got out of shower, dressed into your clothe ,did your hair and makeup ready to leave you checked the time.

"I might as well grab something to eat and take outs for the boys since I have 20min,"

you wore your coat grabbing your purse then.

"Doctor we have an emergency patient coming in,"

"what is the case," you dropped you bag and started to dress back to your scrub.

"the light and the stage equipments above the stage fell over the patient,"

"how long till they get here,"

"5 minutes,"

you walked out along the nurse and some staff you were expecting many patients since it was a stage accident but a single ambulance arrived the pediatrician came next to you.

"A light equipment fell on him his neck injured, 3 broken ribs and some torn muscles and I think his skull might be cracked,"

"get me Doctor Brian and tell him about the case and get the surgery room ready for me I will start the surgery till Doctor Brian arrives," everyone stood there just staring at you.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOV-,"

"y/n." you looked back there was arms holding you tight

"what are you guys doing here," you saw Hyunjin , Han and lee know behind I.n, Seungmin, Changbin and Felix holding you.

"what happened ," there face was heavy to look at, nose and cheek painted red.

"I need you to calm down okay ," said felix

"what do you mean calm I have a patient to take care of let go,"

"y/n stop,"

"what is wrong with you this isn't time to joke around this is an emergency,"

"Doctor y/n am gonna need you to leave,"

"what no I can help-"

"you know the rules you can't operate on family members or someone you're related to,"

"what are you talking about,"

"y/n it's chan he is hurt," i.n then started to cry.

"what no," you said and looked at the bed behind.

"guys no you guys are shocked that isn't chan no,"

"y/n stop," said Hyunjin

"no I have to make sure that isn't him and prove you wrong that isn't chan,"

"Bp is dropping,"

"surgery room is ready doctor,"

"let's go,"

"LET GO LET GO I HAVE TO SEE LET ME GO," you started to fight in their grip. You saw him his face covered in thick blood you can't tell it's him cause of the glass, the burns, the cuts and blood covering his face.

"no no let me go I have to be with him please just let me be with him please let me go PLEASE,"

"y/n stop you will drain yourself stop it he is going to be fine," Changbin snapped at you.

"what happened who did this to him tell me why is he the only one hurt why him tell me please,"u said eyeing all of them they were perfectly fine.

"Some sasengs were able to enter as a staff they cut the wires while we were rehearsing It just happened so quickly it fell on him and it was dark and there was so much blood we-,"

Hearing that felt like a night mare that you wanted to wake up but it's not working your heart started to throb you knew this wasn't a dream it was real you started to feel sick your tummy twisting feeling that disgusting feeling you felt light headed then things were blur and that's it your body gave up.

Things didn't feel right when you woke up and you were alone an IV plugged into your arm so quite something in your body feels heavy something just isn't right then you remembered.

You yanked your IV from your arm blood started to flow leaving a trail behind as you walk straight to the ICU.

"You shouldn't have left wh-" a nurse said

"where is he"

Nothing

"Tell me where he is"

"Am sorry w-"

"No no no no he is fine no Chanie won't be that rude enough to leave me alone he is fine,"

You walked through the ICU bare foot when you spot the members.

"Stop fucking crying stop," you pushed past the members.

"Why are you crying he is fine I.N look at me wipe those tears chan will make fun of you when he sees you later. Guys stop causing a scene he is fine," your blood was messing up your clothes.

"y/n please stop this is madness he is gone he lef-"

"Jesus stop Doctor Brian is the best he have zero table death he is the best in town in the world infact ,"

"Doctor y/n we tried everything we can-"

"NO GO BACK AND TRY HARDER TRY AGAIN OR LET ME DO IT I CAN HELP I CAN BRING HIM BACK LET ME DO IT I CAN HELP I CAN DO IT AND HE WILL BE FINE JUST LET ME IN,"

"We tried our bes-"

"BULLSHIT WHY ISN'T HE HERE THEN I CAN DO BETTER"

"Y/N STOP YOUR MAKING IT HARD FOR ALL OF US,"Felix grabbed you shaking you trying to waking you up.

"He is fine Felix I know Chan is okay they just didn't do it right I will go and start the surgery,"

"STOP JUST FUCKING STOP Y/N CHAN LEFT HE IS GONE STOP MAKING IT HARD AND ACCEPT IT," leeknow yelled

"Time of death was-"

"BRIAN I SAID I CAN HELP THERE IS NO DEATH STOP USING THAT WORD AND CHAN'S NAME ON THE SAME SENTENCE ," you looked around.

"He isn't dead,"

He was dead.

~END~

73 notes · View notes

jrob64 · 1 year

Text

Always in My Heart - Ch. 2, A CS Modern AU story

Here is Chapter 2 of my CS Gift Exchange story for @nachocheese-itsmycheese, including a new pic set. This chapter has some fluff and special moments, but fair warning, it also contains some serious angst.

Many thanks to @hookedmom for being my beta, @cs-rylie for being another set of eyes on the story and @kmomof4 for helping me plot.

Story Summary: As children in the same foster home, Emma Swan and Killian Jones became best friends. After being separated, they lost touch for 14 years and thought they would never see each other again.

A chance meeting in London changes everything.

*Trigger Warning* - cancer

Rating: M (for smut in the last chapter - but can be skipped if that’s not your comfort zone)

Words: (Ch. 2) 8362

Chapter 1 found here on Tumblr

Also posted on Ao3 & ffn

*********

The second time Emma Nolan shared a bed with Killian Jones, she was twenty years old and he was twenty-two. They were best friends reunited after years apart.

Killian began to wake up when he heard whimpers coming from Emma. He pushed up to his elbow and looked at the nightstand, where the green digital clock numbers read 4:33.

“Swan?” he whispered, cautiously scooting a little closer to her.

She didn’t answer, but let out another soft whimper. He could tell she was still asleep, but seemed to be in a bit of discomfort from her injuries.

“Emma?” he tried again, gently nudging her right shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“Are you in pain?”

Her eyes cracked open and she turned her head on the pillow, but he could tell she wasn’t fully awake. “Yeah...it hurts.”

“You need to take more medicine.”

“Uh-uh. It’s dark and I don’t remember where I left the bottle.”

“You should stay ahead of the pain and it’s been several hours since you took anything. I’ll look for it, okay?”

She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. After several seconds, she breathed out a heavy sigh before her eyes popped back open and she said, “Okay.”

Killian slid out of bed and used the light on his phone to look around the room, then went into the bathroom, coming back momentarily with a glass of water and a couple of pills. Setting them on the nightstand, he gently eased his arm around her back and helped her sit up enough to swallow the medicine.

“Thanks,” she murmured, as he lowered her back to the mattress.

He climbed back into bed on his side, moving toward the middle. Reaching over, he massaged her shoulder. ”Sleep now, Swan.”

Closing her eyes, she hummed. “Feels good.”

Happy to bring her some comfort, he continued to rub her arm until he heard her breathing deepen, signifying her return to sleep. He followed soon after.

*********

During the next three days, Emma and Killian enjoyed the amenities of the ski resort to occupy their time. They spent time in the lodge game room playing darts, billiards and air hockey, enjoyed the hot tub, and watched movies or sat in front of the gas fireplace in the living area of the suite. No matter what they were doing, they carried on lengthy and effortless conversations, filling in the years they missed with each other and remembering all the things they did when they were at the foster home together.

On the final day of the trip, Emma came out of the bathroom after soaking in the large, whirlpool tub, to find the room empty. She checked her phone for a message from Killian, but didn’t find one. Just as she was getting ready to call him, the door opened and he walked in wearing a huge grin.

“What have you been doing that made you so happy?” she questioned good naturedly.

“I just ordered tickets for us to go on the gondola today. The person down at the front desk said they have a shuttle that can take us there. Is that alright with you, Swan?”

“That sounds like fun! I’ve been watching it move up and down the mountain, but didn’t think about going on it ourselves. Will I be able to ride it with my leg like this?”

“I checked into it and it shouldn’t be a problem. The cars are enclosed and look quite spacious.”

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” she asked excitedly.

He helped her don her winter gear and put on his own, then they rode the elevator down to the lobby. As they made their way outside, the shuttle pulled up in front of the building.

It was a short drive down the road to the gondola site. After they purchased their tickets, Emma was permitted to use the handicap access and was boarded promptly. Killian helped her settle into the car before it began gliding up the mountain, giving them a spectacular view of the surrounding scenery. The skiers and snowboarders below looked miniscule, but Emma still tried to locate Mary Margaret in her bright pink snowsuit.

They both thought the ride was over far too quickly, so when they disembarked, Emma offered to buy tickets for another trip. Killian readily agreed and helped her over to the ticket booth. The second time was just as enjoyable, as they pointed out beautiful sights to each other.

After the gondola returned to base, they went into the little snack shop and treated themselves to warm apple dumplings with ice cream, and hot chocolate.

By the time they returned to the resort, it was midday. They went straight up to their room to change out of their heavy winter outerwear, then watched a movie until Mary Margaret and David knocked on their door. The four of them walked over to the lodge and ate together, talking and laughing into the evening.

Once Emma and Killian returned, they packed their suitcases as much as possible, because they were leaving early the next morning. Killian would be taking an Uber to the airport for a flight back to England, and after seeing him off at the lodge, the other three would leave to drive back to Maine.

A sense of melancholy settled over the room as they silently folded their clothes and stuffed them into their bags. Killian made a sweep of the living room area and the bathroom, while Emma double checked all of the dresser drawers and the closet. When they were satisfied that everything was packed except for what they needed in the morning, they sat together on the sofa, the only light coming from the fireplace in front of them.

He draped his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m going to miss you so much,” she sighed.

“I’ll miss you, too,” he agreed sadly, “but I’m very glad we had this time together. And of course we can continue texting and calling each other.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I’m going to bug you so much, you’ll get tired of it.”

He chuckled. “Not a chance. I’ll look forward to it.”

They lapsed back into silence, each lost in their thoughts.

“You’ll let me know what you find out from your MRI, won’t you?” he asked.

“Absolutely. I really hope there are no tears.”

“I pray there aren’t.”

“And you’ll let me know when you get a job, right?”

“Aye. Hopefully, it won’t take long.”

“I pray it won’t.”

She turned her face up to him and smiled. He returned it, then rested his forehead against hers momentarily.

They remained on the sofa, quietly conversing, for another half hour before deciding to go to bed. Once there, both of them had trouble falling asleep, knowing they would be saying goodbye to each other again in just a few hours.

*********

The next morning was a flurry of activity with final packing, a quick breakfast, and loading the bags into David’s car, while Killian waited for the arrival of his Uber. When he received notification that it was two minutes away, he said his goodbyes to Mary Margaret and David, then turned to Emma.

“Let me know when you arrive back home,” he said, taking her hand and giving it an affectionate squeeze.

“You do the same,” she replied. Leaning her crutches against the wall beside her, she wrapped her arms around him. “Please stay in touch, Killian. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You have my solemn promise, Swan.”

“Thank you for coming. It was the best surprise ever!”

“Thank you for allowing me to crash your vacation.”

Her arms loosened and she looked up at him. “This whole vacation would have sucked if you hadn’t shown up. You’re the only reason I was able to enjoy it at all!”

He chuckled. “Happy to be of service, milady.”

A dark blue SUV pulled up the driveway and stopped in front of them. “Looks like my ride is here,” Killian commented. He hugged her tightly one more time, before releasing her to bend down and pick up his duffle bag.

The driver exited the vehicle and greeted Killian, taking his bag to put it in the back. Killian’s eyes lingered on his friend for several moments. “Goodbye, Emma,” he finally said.

“Goodbye, Killian. I hope I’ll see you again soon.”

“Me, too.” Unable to think of anything else to say, he raised his hand to give her a little wave, then slipped into the back seat of the waiting SUV. He knew she couldn’t see him through the tinted window, but when he looked at her, she was waving and bravely trying to give him a smile anyway.

As the vehicle started down the winding driveway, he watched Emma out the back window until she faded from view, then settled back into the leather seat with a sigh. He had plenty of time to think during the twenty-five minute drive to the airport, and pondered why it hurt more to say goodbye to Emma this time, than it did in London. Maybe back then it was easier because he was already making plans to surprise her in Vermont, but now he thought it was more than that.

His feelings toward his friend had changed in the days he spent with her and he wasn’t exactly sure when it happened. He simply knew the longer he was with her, the harder it was to keep from kissing her. Their long conversations allowed him to see the woman his childhood friend had become, and he liked what he saw. He was attracted to her wit, humor, intelligence and beauty.

Now the question was, what could he do about it from thousands of miles away?

*********

Emma stood, rooted to the spot, as she watched the SUV disappear, taking Killian away from her yet again. The pain she felt in her heart was almost as bad as the pain in her injured leg, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to examine the reason why.

She wasn’t a person who made friends easily. As a child, it didn’t take her long to come to the conclusion it wasn’t worth the effort. After Killian left, she was never in one place long enough for anyone to get to know her. She was always the ‘new girl’ who warranted stares and whispers, but rarely a genuinely warm welcome from classmates or foster siblings.

When she was adopted by the Nolans, she tagged along with David, and eventually his friends became her friends, too. They all thought of her as their little sister and included her whenever they played sports in the backyard. By the time she entered junior high, she was one of the best female athletes in her grade and began making friends with some of her teammates.

No matter how many friends she made though, none of them took Killian’s place in her heart. He was her first friend, her best friend, but the feelings she felt now had her thinking she wanted him to be more than just a friend, which was crazy, right?

“Ready to go, Sis?”

Emma startled at David’s voice, not realizing how long she had been standing there contemplating her feelings. “Oh, yeah, I’m ready. Let’s get on the road.”

*********

A week after they parted ways, Killian was happy to learn Emma’s MRI showed no signs of tears in her knee or ankle, and that she was using a cane instead of crutches. He was able to share his good news about being offered a job at one of the architectural firms where he had done an internship.

Their daily texts never failed to lift his spirits as he hunted for an apartment and settled into a new routine. He felt very blessed to have Emma in his life again.

*********

Spring semester for Emma was the most busy and demanding of her entire college career. She had more projects, papers and reading to do than in her previous two semesters combined. It didn’t help that getting around was still slow and awkward. If it wasn’t for the daily texts and occasional FaceTime calls from Killian, she didn’t know how she would have made it through. His encouragement lifted her up and calmed her down. He knew just the right things to say to make her laugh when she felt like screaming with frustration. It seemed he could tell how she was feeling just by reading her texts or hearing the tone of her voice.

By mid-April, she had come to two conclusions: she was going to survive the semester from hell, and she was falling hard for her best friend.

*********

Killian rolled his chair away from his desk, stretching his arms above his head. He was thoroughly enjoying the challenge of his job, but being hunched over a computer screen most of the day took its toll.

Pulling out his phone, he saw a message from Liam and grimaced after reading it.

L: We’re trying to get a head count for the wedding reception. Are you bringing a date or not?

He would love to say he was bringing a certain beautiful, blonde-haired lass who was his best friend, and then a sudden thought struck him - what would it hurt to ask? He would pay her airfare and offer her the spare bedroom in his new flat. After the semester she was going through, he felt she deserved some time away. The wedding was two weeks after she finished classes, and he knew she wasn’t planning to start her summer job until the first week of June.

Not wanting to overthink it and talk himself out of it, he pulled up their text thread and typed out a message.

K: Would you consider being my date for my brother’s wedding on May 20? Please?

Glancing at the time, he knew she would be in the middle of her Advanced Composition class and wouldn’t be able to answer for at least another hour. He tried to tamp down the excitement over the prospect of seeing her again, knowing it was a distinct possibility she might say no.

Switching back to Liam’s text, he sent a vague answer.

K: I’ll get back to you on that in a couple of days.

Laying his phone back on the desk, he rose from his chair, grabbed his favorite mug and went to the break room for his afternoon cup of coffee.

*********

Emma sat down at a small table beside the front window of the Student Union and massaged her knee. Even after three months, her injuries still bothered her from time to time, and she still needed physical therapy to strengthen her leg. She took a sip from her Diet Coke and opened a bag of chips, munching on one as she pulled her phone from the pocket of her messenger bag and unlocked it.

When she read the message from Killian, she inhaled sharply. The chip went down sideways and she began coughing, glancing around to make sure no one was rushing over to give her the Heimlich maneuver. She finally caught her breath, tears in her eyes and a sting in her throat from where the chip scraped it.

He was asking her to come to England for his brother’s wedding? As his date?

Did this mean that…could he possibly have feelings for her that went beyond friendship? Or was she reading too much into it? Did he know she thought about him that way? Maybe he just didn’t want to go to the wedding by himself. But if that was the case, wouldn’t he just ask one of his friends who lived in England? Surely any woman he asked would happily jump at the chance to go on a date with such a gorgeous and sweet guy.

She was probably overthinking it. He more than likely just sent her the invitation on the spur of the moment and asked her as his friend, nothing more.

Her initial response was to refuse, as she ran through the excuses in her mind. She was a poor college student and it would be an expensive trip. She needed time to decompress after this semester, before beginning her summer job waitressing, and taking online classes so she could graduate in December. She also promised Mary Margaret to help her with wedding plans.

No matter how many excuses she came up with, another thought overrode them all - she had an opportunity to be with Killian again. How could she say no to that?

Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard as she chewed on her lip. Before sending a reply, she pulled up her banking app and checked her finances. Doing a quick calculation, she realized she could just about afford an airplane ticket and hotel room, but what about meals and transportation?

As if summoned by her deliberation, her phone vibrated with a text from none other than the man whose question was currently making her mind race.

K: I neglected to mention that I will pay for your plane ticket and you’re welcome to stay in my spare bedroom. Never let it be said that Killian Jones is anything less than a gentleman when asking a lady to be his date. I wouldn’t hear of you paying your own way.

Ah, so now that excuse was taken out of the equation. Still, she hesitated. What if she really was reading too much into it? What if his feelings toward her were the same as always, while hers had moved past friendship to… something more… for him? She couldn’t bear to have her heart broken and lose her best friend all in one fell swoop.

She could just go to England, see her friend again, go to the wedding and come back home, never telling him how her feelings had changed. And who knows? Maybe when she saw him again, she would realize her feelings really hadn’t changed, that it was just her mind…and heart… playing tricks on her.

She was definitely overthinking it.

Bringing up the calendar app on her phone, she was surprised to see nothing scheduled for May 20 or any of the days before and after. A smile teased the corners of her lips as that final piece of the puzzle fell into place. Everything was pointing to the idea that she was destined to accept Killian’s invitation.

So she did.

*********

Emma tried to get comfortable in the airplane seat, putting her earbuds in and exhaling a happy sigh. She was very relieved to be finished with the semester that nearly did her in, and even happier that her high GPA was still intact. She reminisced again about how thankful she was for Killian’s support and encouragement throughout the past five months. Now she was just a few hours away from seeing him in person and she could hardly wait.

The last time she was on a plane to England, she was equal parts excited and nervous, and found this time wasn’t any different. She was anxious to see how she reacted to being with Killian again, not really sure if she wanted to confirm that her feelings had deepened.

Trying to put the turmoil of thoughts out of her mind, she tugged a paperback book out of the messenger bag on her lap and started reading.

*********

Killian paced the arrivals area of the airport, checking his phone after every few steps. Emma said she would text him when her plane began disembarking and it was supposed to have landed five minutes ago.

His stomach was in knots, and he couldn’t help but compare it to how he felt when he was planning to go to Vermont. He had been excited to see his friend then, but what he felt now was completely different. He wanted to be more than a friend to Emma and wondered if she reciprocated his feelings.

The phone buzzed in his hand and he sucked in a quick breath. Hopefully before her visit was over, he would find out the answer.

*********

Of course her piece of luggage had to be one of the last to appear on the carousel. When she finally spotted it, Emma impatiently pushed between two people who were texting on their phones instead of watching for their baggage. She snagged her navy blue bag, raised the handle, and turned to exit the area.

Suddenly she heard, “Swan! Over here!” and saw Killian heading her way.

It took them a few moments of dodging people until they were finally hugging each other.

“It’s great to see you again,” she said into his neck, inhaling his unique scent.

They were separated when a man rushing past them bumped his shoulder bag into Emma’s hip, nearly knocking her off her feet, but Killian's strong arms kept her stable. Tossing a brief apology over his shoulder, the man continued on while Killian glared at him.

“Alright there, Swan?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why is it that every time I see you, I’m either almost being knocked on my ass or have injuries from doing just that?”

He laughed, taking the handle of her suitcase from her, while his other hand clasped hers. “I don’t know, but I’m happy to see you walking on your own two feet. Let’s get out of here before that changes.”

Playfully slapping his arm with her free hand, she allowed him to lead her through the throng of people outside to where his car was parked. He stowed her bag in the 'boot' while she circled around to the left side of the car, remembering the passenger seat would be on the opposite side.

As he drove to his apartment, he asked about her flight, and she inquired about the wedding preparations. Their conversation flowed easily, as always, and Emma relaxed more and more as the miles churned away. Her heart was still beating at an accelerated pace, but Killian didn’t seem to notice anything different about her.

But there was something different. Being with him again proved to her that her feelings had gone beyond simple friendship. She was falling in love with her best friend.

*********

It was all Killian could do to keep his focus on the road in front of him. He thought he was prepared to see Emma after five months, hundreds of texts and numerous FaceTime calls, but seeing her beauty in person again was a very pleasant jolt to his system.

When they arrived and he parked his car, he retrieved her luggage and led her inside the building. Upon entering his apartment, she complimented him on the bright, modern space, then followed him down the hallway to the spare room, which was sparsely furnished with a twin bed and small dresser.

“I’m afraid it’s not much,” he apologized, rubbing at a spot behind his ear.

“You forget that I lived in a cramped dorm room for two years,” she laughed. “This is fine. Thank you for providing a place for me to stay and paying for my plane ticket. I probably wouldn’t have been able to come otherwise.”

“My pleasure, Swan. I’m very happy you were able to work it out. Liam and Louise are excited to meet you and to have you join me at the wedding.”

“I look forward to meeting them, too. I’ll finally be able to put faces to their names after hearing so much about them.”

Killian showed her around the rest of his flat, giving her a towel and washcloth when she expressed an interest in taking a shower. While she did, he ordered pizza to be delivered and called Liam to let him know Emma had arrived safely.

After she emerged from the bathroom, hair damp and dressed in casual, comfortable clothes, they ate and caught up with each other some more. He wondered if there would be some awkwardness between them because of the romantic feelings he was developing for her, but was happy to find it was just as easy as always.

*********

Killian took Emma to his brother’s house the next day, where Liam and his fiancée would be attending to last minute details for the wedding. Although she was a little apprehensive to meet Killian’s beloved older brother, Liam set her at ease by greeting her with a broad smile and warm hug.

“Ah, so you’re the famous Emma Swan! My little brother has sung your praises for as long as I can remember. I’ve never seen him happier than when he found you again.”

“You know I’m an adult now, don’t you, Liam?” Killian grumbled. “I’m not your little brother anymore.”

Emma laughed. “I’m very happy we found each other again, too, and to finally meet you, Liam.”

Once Louise arrived, they set to work making small bags of sugar almonds to be placed as favors for the wedding guests. Killian and Liam’s Aunt Aggie stopped in with her homemade Scotch eggs for lunch, greeting Emma just as warmly as Liam and Louise. By the time they left later that afternoon, Emma felt like she had been accepted as an honorary member of the Jones family.

When they got back to Killian’s apartment, Emma unpacked the accessories she brought to wear to the wedding and discovered she forgot to pack her nude heels. He took her shopping to buy a new pair, then they went out to eat at a local pub. Knowing the next day was going to be a busy one with the wedding and reception, they went to bed early; Killian bidding her goodnight with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

Emma lay in bed, recalling the events of the day and wishing she would have acted on her instinct to turn her head into his kiss, so it would have been on the lips instead.

*********

Killian awoke the next morning to a misty, overcast day. He had hoped Liam and Louise would have warm, sunny weather for their special day, but figured since the ceremony wasn’t until late afternoon, there was time for it to clear up.

He went into the kitchen to start the coffee and decided to make English pancakes for breakfast. Just as he was plating up three of the thin, crepe-like treats, Emma came stumbling into the room, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Something smells delicious,” she mumbled.

He chuckled. “Are you talking about the coffee or the pancakes?”

“Yes,” she answered with a sly grin.

“Well, help yourself to the coffee. You can have these pancakes as soon as I sprinkle them with powdered sugar. Would you like some strawberries on them, too?”

“Sure,” she said, moving toward the coffee pot.

He set the plate in front of her as soon as she was seated with her mug of coffee. While he was cooking his own pancakes, he heard her moan with pleasure, making him bite his lip to keep from moaning himself. He imagined her making that sound as she was in the throes of passion, and silently admonished himself to get a grip and focus.

When he joined her at the table with his plate, she said, “These are amazing! You’ll have to teach me how to make them sometime.”

He liked how she made it sound like it was inevitable for them to be together again. “I can do that. They’re really quite easy.”

“Maybe for you, but I’m not the greatest in the kitchen,” she commented, before taking another large bite. After chewing and swallowing, she asked, “What’s the schedule for today?”

“We need to be at the church by two o’clock for pictures. The wedding is at three-thirty, with the meal and reception afterwards.”

“I hope what I brought to wear is okay.”

“I’m sure it will be, Swan. There isn’t a specific dress code, except for those of us in the wedding party.”

After they finished eating, they cleaned up the kitchen. “You can take your shower first, Emma. I’m going to call Liam to see if he needs anything,” Killian said, once it was put to rights.

They spent a lazy morning together, watching television and talking. After a light lunch, they maneuvered around each other for the next two hours, getting ready for the big event. As Killian slipped into his white tuxedo shirt, he was happy to notice the sun filtering through the blinds in his room. It looked like Mother Nature was going to cooperate after all.

When he entered the living room, adjusting his cufflinks in the buttonholes, he came to a complete stop. Emma was already there waiting, wearing a knee-length, lace sheath in plum. The dress had a strapless lining, but the lace overlay crossed over one shoulder, giving Killian full view of the other. Her golden hair was swooped back into a low bun, showing off the creamy expanse of her slender neck.

Realizing he was staring, he cleared his throat. “You look…stunning, Swan.”

She self-consciously ran her hands down her sides. “Thank you. My mom bought this dress for me for my induction into an academic sorority last year. I haven’t had an opportunity to wear it again until now. Are you sure it looks alright?”

He took two more steps toward her. “It’s perfect. You’ll be the most beautiful woman there.”

Breathing out a small laugh, she said, “I think that title will belong to Louise, don’t you? All eyes are supposed to be on the bride, after all.” Just as Killian opened his mouth to answer, she added, “Oh, I need to put a few things into my clutch before we go. Give me a couple of minutes.”

“We don’t have to leave for another fifteen, so take your time.” Watching her walk down the short hallway to the bedroom, he couldn’t help thinking that while all eyes were on the bride, he would have a hard time taking his eyes off of Emma.

*********

Emma had made the excuse to leave the room before she began to drool over seeing Killian in a tuxedo. The man was gorgeous to begin with, but put him in a tux and his hotness factor went through the roof.

There was another reason for taking some time to gather herself, though. The adoring way he was looking at her made a thrill of hope run down her spine. Perhaps he did feel something for her besides friendship.

She glanced through the contents of her purse and snapped it shut, determined to tell Killian before she left England how her feelings toward him had changed.

*********

The wedding was beautiful and filled with so much love between the bride and groom, it brought tears to Emma’s eyes. Every time she looked at Killian, he was smiling broadly, clearly happy for his brother. She caught him more than once looking back at her where she sat in the audience beside his Aunt Aggie, and it made the warmth rush into her cheeks.

After enjoying a delicious meal at the reception, they watched Liam and Louise have their first dance together. When the next song began, Killian turned to Emma and held out his hand. “May I have this dance, Swan?”

Placing her hand in his, she commented, “Such a gentleman.”

“If I wasn’t, I would severely disappoint my aunt,” he quipped, winking at the woman herself, who gave him an approving smile.

They moved to the middle of the dance floor, where the newlyweds were continuing to sway, completely oblivious to everyone else around them. Emma put her right hand on his shoulder and felt his arm wrap around her waist, their other hands still clasped together.

Her eyes darted around the room, taking in the other couples on the dance floor and the guests who were standing around the perimeter of it. Then they scanned up to connect with Killian’s, losing herself in their blue depths.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked, the words spoken close to her ear.

“I really am, and I want to thank you, Killian, for asking me to come to the wedding. I’m sure you could have found a cheaper date here, after all!”

“I never even considered asking anyone else.”

“Why not?”

He ducked his head and she was sure he would be scratching behind his ear if both of his hands weren’t occupied. After several moments, he looked back up at her with determination shining in his eyes. “Because no one else is as special and important to me as you, Swan. You…I…” He hesitated and her heart started pounding, wondering what his next words were going to be. “I’ve come to think of you as more than a friend, Emma. My feelings…are changing, becoming…bloody hell, I’m making a right mess of this.”

She exhaled slowly, her hand on his shoulder moving to thread her fingers through the ends of his hair. “I think I know what you’re trying to say, Killian, because…it’s gone beyond friendship for me, too. I…really like you.”

“Truly?” he asked, his eyes hopeful.

“Yeah”, she confirmed.

“So, you’re onboard to see where this goes?”

“I mean, I know it’s not going to be easy because of the distance, but…I think it would be worth a try.”

Before she was finished speaking, his hands were framing her face and he was gazing at her with a warm gleam in his fathomless eyes. Then his lips met hers, soft and sweet, and she knew she made the right decision.

*********

By the time they returned to his flat after the reception, Killian’s feet were sore, but his heart was full. He and Emma danced together for nearly every song. He relished having her in his arms and took the opportunity to kiss her at regular intervals.

After parking the car outside his building, they slowly walked inside, with Emma’s heels dangling from Killian’s fingertips and her arm threaded through his elbow. She had been intuitive enough to know she wouldn’t last the day in her new shoes and tucked a pair of ballet slippers into her clutch.

After he unlocked the door, she entered and flopped down onto the sofa. “Tired, Love?” he asked.

“Yes, but it was so much fun! It’s the best time I’ve ever had at a wedding.”

He sank down beside her. “I had a great time, too. I’m sure it had something to do with the fact it was my brother getting married, but I think it was mostly because of the beautiful lady who was my date.”

She rolled her head sideways to look at him. “I don’t know about you, but I’m relieved to have my feelings for you out in the open.”

“Aye, Love, me too. It makes me very happy you’ve made a place in your heart for me.”

Reaching over to take his hand, she said sincerely, “You’ve always been in my heart, Killian, ever since we were kids. I just hope we can work things out.”

He leaned in to brush a kiss across her lips. “I have confidence we will, Emma.”

She smiled and sighed contentedly. “David and Mary Margaret are getting married next March. Do you think you’ll be able to be my date for their wedding?”

“I’ll be sure to put in for the days off once the new year starts.”

Kissing him again, she said, “Good. You’ll get to meet my mom then.”

“Perhaps I could work something out at Christmas, so I can meet her sooner.”

Emma sighed. “Even Christmas seems very far away. We’re always being separated for months at a time.”

“They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder,” he tried to soothe.

“I hate that saying already,” she growled.

He chuckled, then turned to check the clock on the microwave. “It’s getting rather late, Swan. We should probably go to bed. Would you like to leave early for the airport and stop to get some breakfast on the way?”

“That would be really nice. What time do you think we should leave?”

Looking down at their hands where he was tangling his fingers through hers, he said, “By seven o’clock, I suppose. This time with you has gone far too fast.”

“I know. It always does.” She sighed and squeezed his hand. “I wish this night didn’t have to end, but you’re right - we need to go to bed.”

Rising from the couch, he pulled her to her feet and into a hug. “Goodnight, Swan. Pleasant dreams.”

“Goodnight, Killian,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “See you in the morning.”

He reluctantly released her and watched her walk down the hall, turning at the doorway to give him a smile. Feeling his heart swell, he checked to make sure the door was locked, switched off the lights, and went into his own bedroom, hoping to dream, as he so often had, about his friend across the hall, who was now more than his friend.

*********

The next two months after Emma’s trip to England saw the couple continuing to FaceTime and text, though their conversations were longer and more intimate than before. They seemed to never run out of things to share with each other.

Then one afternoon in early August, an hour before he got off work, he received a text from her.

E: Please call me ASAP.

Emma had been telling him for the past few weeks how concerned she was about her mother. Ruth had developed a persistent cough, was having pain in her chest and didn’t have any energy. David and Emma insisted she see a doctor so she finally gave in and made an appointment. The doctor had ordered more tests, which Killian knew she underwent the previous week. He was instantly concerned and went into the empty break room to place the call.

As soon as he heard Emma’s voice, it felt as though a rock dropped into his stomach. It was anguished in a way he’d never heard before. “Swan, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked anxiously.

“M-my mom…has…cancer,” she choked out, and he closed his eyes, the memory of that same word impacting his life so brutally when he was a little boy. “It…it’s bad, Killian. Stage four lung cancer, inoperable.” Her voice broke on the final word and he gripped the phone tighter, wishing with all his heart he was there to hold her.

“Emma, I’m so, so sorry. How do they plan to treat it?”

He could hear her quiet sobs before she spoke again, her voice clogged with tears. “They…they’re trying to…decide what to do, but…M-Mom says she’s not sure she…” Her voice cut off again and he could feel tears trickling down his own cheeks over his girlfriend’s deep sorrow. “She just…wants to l-live long enough to see D-David and Mary Margaret get married.”

Closing his eyes, he asked the next dreaded question. “Have they given her a prognosis?”

He could barely understand her when she answered. “Three to…six m-months. With treatment…maybe a couple more…”

Killian sank into a chair, his legs unable to hold him any longer. “Emma, I…I don’t know what to say. I wish I could be there with you right now.”

She sniffed and whispered, “So do I. I-I’m taking the Fall semester off. David and Mary Margaret are planning to…move their wedding up, probably to late September or early October. Do you…do you think you would still be able to come if they change the date?”

“I promise I’ll be there, Sweetheart. No matter what it takes, I will definitely be there.”

“Thank you, Killian. I…I should let you get back to work. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“Emma, Love, please don’t apologize,” he said. “I’m here for you whenever you need me - anytime, day or night. Never hesitate to call me, aye?” He heard her exhale a shaky breath, and took it as a sign of relief that she had a source of support.

“Okay,” she said, her voice a bit stronger. “I have to go. David and Mary Margaret are coming over for dinner tonight and I need to help Mom cook.”

“Would it be alright if I call you later this evening?”

“Yeah, that would be great, if you don’t mind.”

“You know I don’t. I’ll talk to you then.”

“Thanks again, Killian. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Swan.”

He hung up and sunk his head into his hands. He and Emma had spoken numerous times about how many things they had in common. He really hoped both of their mothers succumbing to cancer wouldn’t be added to that list.

*********

Killian exited the airport, his eyes anxiously searching for his girlfriend. When he didn’t see her immediately, he began walking down the sidewalk in search of the yellow VW from the picture she sent to him.

“Hey, handsome.”

He turned quickly to see Emma standing behind him. Dropping his duffle to the ground, he wrapped her tightly in his embrace. For almost two months, he had longed to hold her, giving her some small degree of comfort for her pain.

“Sorry. I had trouble finding a parking space,” she explained, her voice muffled by his chest.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve only been out here a few minutes.” Pulling back to look into her face, he asked, “How are you doing, Love?”

“I’m, uh, okay, I guess,” she said, not meeting his eyes. “Are you ready to go?”

“Aye.” He slung the strap of his duffle bag over his shoulder, then clasped her hand in his. “Lead on, Milady.”

On the drive to Storybrooke, she filled him in on the plans for the wedding, which would be taking place in two day’s time.

“David is staying at the house until after the wedding, and the house has become ‘wedding central’. I’m pretty sure Mary Margaret is trying to keep all of us busy, so we have less time to think about…Mom.” She paused, swallowing hard before continuing. “Unfortunately, even though David has twin beds in his room, the extra bed is completely covered with silk flower arrangements, and Mom sleeps in the living room when she can’t get comfortable in her bed, so you’ll have to…share a bed with me.”

“Is that alright with you?”

She hummed and nodded. “To be honest, I think Mary Margaret arranged it that way on purpose. I haven’t been sleeping very well, and she probably thinks being with you will help.”

He placed his hand over hers where it rested on the gear shift. “I hope it will.”

Briefly turning her head to look at him, she smiled weakly. “Mom is feeling pretty good today. She’s excited to meet you.”

Ruth had started chemo treatments two weeks after her diagnosis, but they made her very sick and lethargic. The doctors hadn’t been optimistic about the effectiveness of the treatments anyway, so after lengthy discussions with her children, she decided to discontinue them. She was still having more good days than bad, and everyone was hopeful the day of the wedding would be one of her ‘good days’.

Killian could tell by the set of Emma’s shoulders and the tension in her voice that she was carrying a heavy burden of emotions. He was already dreading leaving her on Monday. His supervisor, a kind older man named Marco, had been generous in giving him four days off after working there for less than a year, but he had to report to the office on Tuesday or have his pay docked.

When they pulled up in front of a two-story white colonial, Emma cut the engine and looked over at him. “Well, this is home.”

He gave the house and huge yard surrounding it an appraising look, before turning back to her to say, “It looks warm and welcoming. I’m glad you had such a wonderful place to grow up, Love.”

“Yeah, it was great. David and I spent a lot of time outside. Over there,” she said, pointing to a spot at the back of the yard, “is our garden. I thought it was magical being able to grow our own food. Nothing is better than sweet corn fresh from the garden.”

“After everything you’ve told me about your home, it’s nice to see it in person.”

Emma unbuckled her seat belt and opened her door, while Killian did the same. He retrieved his bag from the back seat, then walked hand-in-hand with her up the sidewalk and porch steps.

“We’re here,” she called out, leading him through the front door. He barely had a chance to take a look around the living room before Mary Margaret emerged from the room to their left.

“Hi, Killian,” she said, initiating a hug with him. “We’re so happy you’re here.”

“I’m very happy to be here,” he replied.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another figure enter the room and heard Emma say, “This is my mom, Ruth.”

Mary Margaret stepped aside to let him approach their matriarch. She looked wan and weak but gave him a warm smile. “Welcome to our home, Killian.”

He wasn’t quite sure how to greet her, so he offered her his hand as he expressed his gratitude for opening her home to him.

She ignored his offer of a handshake, placing her hands on both sides of his face instead. “My Emma has told me so much about you. How wonderful that the two of you were reunited after so many years apart!”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Nolan,” he smiled.

Patting his cheeks, she said, “Please call me Ruth. Now, we thought you would be hungry when you got here, so we’ve prepared a late lunch. Come eat with us.”

Upon entering the kitchen, he greeted David, who was putting filled water glasses on the table. The five of them ate and chatted for twenty minutes before Emma looked at her mother and said, “You look tired, Mom. Why don’t you go lay down and we’ll clean up?”

Ruth nodded wearily and pushed herself up to her feet. “I think I’ll do that. Please wake me in time to help cook dinner, will you?”

They agreed and watched her shuffle out of the room. Mary Margaret broke the silence by speaking in an overly cheery voice, “Killian, I hope you don’t mind, but you’ll have to stay in Emma’s room while you’re here.”

“She already told me and that’s fine with me, as long as David approves,” Killian said with a smirk.

David fixed him with a scowl. “My bedroom is on the other side of the wall, so I better not hear anything that will force me to come over there and defend my sister’s honor.”

All of them shared a laugh before Emma offered to show him to her room. Grabbing his duffle bag out of the living room, he followed her up the stairs.

Ushering him in the door, she said, “It hasn’t changed much since I was a teenager. I asked my dad to paint it yellow a couple of years after I moved in.”

He looked around to take in the pale yellow walls, dotted with posters of music groups and TV shows, and furniture consisting of a double bed, nightstand, dresser, and desk. Dropping his bag on the floor at the foot of the bed, he turned and pulled her into his arms. “Alright there, Swan?”

She nodded into his neck, tightening her grip around his waist. “She’s getting weaker every day. She tries to put up a good front, but we can see it. I…I don’t want to lose her, Killian.”

“I know, Love. I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?”

“Just hold me,” she whispered.

It was the easiest thing he had ever done.

*********

The evening ended up being very pleasant. They enjoyed one of Ruth’s signature dishes of chicken and dumplings, prepared by Emma and Mary Margaret with Ruth’s guidance. Later, they taught Killian how to play the card game ‘Hearts’. He caught onto it so quickly, he ended up winning the last game and David teasingly accused him of cheating.

Ruth tired easily, due to frequent bouts of coughing, but she insisted on staying up until David left to take Mary Margaret home.

Once they were alone, Emma and Killian remained in the living room, enjoying the quiet stillness, while cuddling on the couch. She concentrated on tangling and untangling her fingers with his, her head resting on his shoulder.

After several peaceful moments, she spoke softly, “Killian?”

“Hmm?” he hummed, pressing his lips to her hair.

“I’ve been…waiting to tell you something until I could do it in person.” Leaning back, she looked into his face.

“What’s that, Sweetheart?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.

“You’ve always had a special place in my heart and now that we’ve found each other again, you’ve become very important to me. Even though it’s only been a few months since you came back into my life, I can’t imagine not having you in it.”

When she paused, he assured her, “I feel the same way, Emma.”

She smiled at him before continuing. “What I’m trying to say is…I…I’ve fallen in love with you, Killian.”

His hands came up to cradle her face, with so much joy radiating in his smile. “That’s wonderful to hear, because I’m in love with you, too.”

“You are?” she asked, though she could see the confirmation in his eyes.

“Aye, and I didn’t want to tell you over the phone, either. I wanted to say it while I was holding you in my arms.”

Dipping his head, he brushed his lips against hers twice before deepening the kiss, the gentle pressure of his lips making her melt. His exploring tongue traced the seam of her lips and she welcomed him without hesitation.

The kiss was slow, sweet and undemanding, expressing their love, but not growing heated. They both knew this was not the time or place to take the next big step in their relationship.

Resting his forehead against hers after the kiss, he murmured, “My heart is yours, Emma.”

“I’ll take very good care of it, Killian. I promise.”

*********

Thanks so much for reading, liking, reblogging and commenting, if you’re so inclined. Chapter 3 is on its way to being written, but I can’t state a time frame for when it will be posted yet.

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themotherofblood · 2 years

Text

Lafzon Ki Dhokebazi

Stucky x Reader

Part 3 of Sukoon Mila

A/N: This is a heavy chapter with very descriptive mentions of torture, and lots of angsty emotion. We also get Steve and Bucky’s POV yay. Lots of love ❤️

Post Civil War 2015

3 years ago

“Did you know?”

You had never heard Tony speak to you like this. He had a bold reason to feel the hatred coursing through his body right now

“Y/n!” His palms slams down onto the table to grab your attention. The brunt of the sound making you flinch

You only looked up with eyes that were covered in guilt. You knew, Bucky only ever told you bits and pieces of that mission. You had put two and two together because you knew how Tony’s parents were killed. The look on your face makes Tony scoff and aggressively push the chair back that he was sat on and walk out of the room

Everything was a mess. Rhodhey was heavily injured. Nat just packed her things and left. Ross’s people were taking inventory of every weapon and every single case file you had. You sat in the room that was once filled with a bunch of misfits, alone.

The days since passed in almost slow motion. You tried to talk to Tony again but he was having none of it. On the third day you called Pepper. Tony started drinking again and he wouldn’t take help from you. The two weeks after that you’d manage to sneak in visits with Rhodhey when Tony wasn’t visiting him. He built Rhodes a device to help him stand and walk. He was doing okay. You never thought you’d see the day where a synthezoid would be upset but that is what you find a month later, sitting in the balcony of the campus. In the middle of the night.

“You miss her, don’t you?” You leaned against the door

He simply looked at you, it’s not that he didn’t. He just knew that it was obvious. “I’m new to this, how do you deal with this Ms YLN”

You felt as inexperienced as he felt. You weren’t coping. You were just frozen as time passed around you. Mostly self medicating with alcohol and sleeping. You slept for hours at an end, because in that deep state of slumber, your boys were still with you. However you’d wake up alone. In your big stupid bed.

Things cleared a little when Tony finally wanted to talk to you. He sent a simple text saying he was coming over. The rational you would have made cookies and mentally prepared yourself for this conversation. But you were completely out of it, sitting on the kitchen floor and half a bottle of vodka in. Through all of this, the UN meetings, Board meetings you kept yourself sober enough to sign whatever it is that they needed signed. You were breaking apart piece by piece as the days passed on. You lived in a facility with a abandoned medical wing, one that housed a lots and lots of pain pills.

You didn’t see it coming but the feeling to numb it all became so seductive. Calling out to you, screaming at you to just shut it all out. It started with the drinking, then taking pain pills to deal with aftermath of the drinking. Within a few days it turned to day drinking. Vision wasn’t stupid, he knew what was going on, he just didn’t know what to do. So when Tony arrived he could almost feel his on heart snap like twig. He found you nearly passed out on the couch. From the pill bottle on the counter and the nearly empty bottle of vodka. He knew what he had to do.

Like a crazy intervention, he threw out all the alcohol he could find in the building. Programmed Friday to completely shut down medical wing and forfeit your access to it. He felt guilty for leaving you alone for this long. You slurred apologies at him as he tucked you in, wiping away at the few stray tears that slipped pass. “You are gonna be okay.” That’s all you heard him whisper before passing out.

The days following that Rhodhey came back to the campus, so did Tony and Pepper. You all were helping each other see parts of each other back together. The spider kid Tony had found became a frequent visit at the campus. He was extremely fun to be around. Such a wit for someone so young. He helped cheer everyone up on the days that seemed particularly darker.

You started to go out again. Feeling the need to already try to move past the two of them. It started slow with a few orgasms, flying solo. But to your heart break the only thing you could think of was four rough, strong hand roaming your body. Making your body sing in ways that your own hands or any toy could every make you feel. Their hot breaths against your skin, Bucky’s cold metal arm against you blazing hot skin. The filthy things the two of them would whisper as they took you apart with their fingers, their mouths, their cocks. Their ravenous moans as you clenched on them. Messy kissing being pressed all over your body. The sheer intensity of their love for you was all to consuming to even try to forget about.

It frustrated you, like a confusing riddle you couldn’t solve. Was it all false? Did you imagine it in your head.? If not, then how could they have left you that easily. Not a letter, nothing. They were gone and you’d had enough.

So you took a page from Tony’s book and got dressed. A simple black dress, you did your hair and makeup, this was self care. This was about you. By the time you were done, you hoped that this would repair your esteem. When you walked out, Vision complimented you, slightly taken aback since he was a little shocked that you were going out. You told him you’d be gone for two to three hours maximum. Out of the many places, you opted for a nice club downtown. It felt really good to be surrounded by normal people and a few of your old friends. They might mostly consisted of drinks, and lot’s of dancing. You made a mental note to thank yourself for not wearing heels. By the end of the night, you’d bid your good byes to your friend and made your way out of the club.

You weren’t too drunk, tipsy at best. Still a little nervous around too much alcohol due to what happened last time. You’d been waiting for a cab, leaning up against the cool brick wall outside the club. Taking in deep breaths from feeling to stuffy from earlier. It was quite cold out, you rubbed your hands together to try and warm yourself up. A few more deep breaths and you felt warmer, comfy enough to feel sleepy. You couldn’t wait to go home crash on the bed. You might finally get a really good night’s sleep. It almost felt like the ground gave out from underneath you. Well, because it did. Only someone caught you before you fell face first onto the pavement

Drip… Drip… Drip

Your head pounded like hell, internally cursing yourself for drinking too much. Groaning as you tried to get up.

That’s when you realized you were already sitting up. You couldn’t move, why couldn’t you move. Your eyes shot open, the light from the little bulb hurting your eyes in the process.

What in the hell happened.

The eerie cold of the room making you shiver as you took in your surroundings. Still slightly sedated to begin panicking just yet.

“Ah, Miss YN. Glad you could join us.” a nasal German accented voice spoke up from behind you

“You see, we didn’t want to have to do this. But your lovers left us with no choice.” You could feel him moving around the room, little clangs of metal would fill the room as he moved around. You were too groggy to turn your head around to get a good look at the person in the room. Gaining whatever little strength you had, you tried to pull at the restraints on your wrists but it fell to no avail.

A large splash of icy cold water hit your skin, making you gasp out. The cold water making your entire body seize and then convulse to take in deep breaths, another splash of water hits right by you face. The temperature making it almost painful as your body slowly starts to shiver. You blink at your eyes profusely to clear your vision as you feel someone’s hands push away your hair from your face.

“Are you with us now.” You glared at the man in front of you and said nothing.

The tremble in your fingers kept getting worse and you kept getting colder. Both the wetness and fear sealing into your bones. They would find you, you don’t know how long you’ve been taken for but you know that they will find you. Tony or Vision would have had to know that something was up. That you were taken.

You remembered the rules of a kidnapping. Don’t panic, try and take in as much information around you as possible. Every little detail counts. The three men in the room, all looked foreign. The one speaking to you sounded German. You had no idea of that location you were at. You know that they are after Steve and Bucky. You might be slow but you weren’t dumb. It’s not like the American agencies would have you abducted to find them. Would they?

It is only when the room illuminated a bit more from a light being flicked on, is when your eyes caught the symbol painted on the wall.

Strategic Scientific Reserve

S.S.R

Date Unknown. Post Civil War

You were going to die. You were sure of it. God knows of the things you were injected with and the sadistic torment to you. They’d make sure you screamed, so that the boys could hear. The first few days you put up a fight, didn’t let them see your pain. Every time they’d ask where the super soldiers were you would just glare at them.

Eventually you began to crack from the pain of it all. Everyday they’d hang you up like a lamb about to be slaughtered, administer all these drugs that felt like they were pouring molten rocks down your throat. They let people settle the score of your boyfriends on your body. You fought, you tried to be strong and now you just wanted to die. A small groan left past your lips and your body got warmer. It was time to go. Small stray tears fell down your closed eyes, you couldn’t say goodbye. You just want to say goodbye to Steve and Bucky.

Then you heard the crashes and men screaming, you didn’t care because you felt life draining to out. You saw their faces, your family’s faces. In your mind you knew at least your boys would be unhurt, you gave them nothing to work with and find them. You simply hoped that they wouldn’t blame themselves for what happened to you. You wondered if they’d find your body, if they’d find you at all.

————————————————————————-

They had finally defrosted Bucky, they believed that they had found the perfect method to curing the winter soldier. He was unsure but the assured him that Shuri would have never awoken him if she thought that he was danger to the people of Wakanda. During his time, king Tchalla had come to apologise to him for hunting him Vienna and filled him in on everything that had happened since he was unconscious.

Shuri had found her hands full with repairing the damaged made by Killomonger but she found an even pressing matter in her hands, when her brother received a phone call from a very distressed Tony Stark. At first the King thought that the billionaire found out about Wakanda harbouring the Winter Soldier but instead it was him begging to them to save his friend’s life. T’challa remember Y/N from the UN meeting, he didn’t know her very well but remembered her kindness from the time he began chasing her lovers. He didn’t know of their relationship until Nat had told him. He had agreed to take her in and a quinjet from his fleet was sent to bring her to Wakanda.

Ayo was sent to inform Bucky while T’challa tried to get a hold of Steve. He couldn’t hide something like this from those, once he saw the state you were in. Bucky found his feet running to the medical wing, all he registered Ayo telling him that you were here and that you were hurt.

“She is going to be alright, be patient.” Ayo tried to comfort him as Bucky sat on the cold floor with his head in his hands.

He couldn’t lose you, he couldn't breath thinking about what was done to you. All he saw was your bloodied face and the entire world around him froze. He needed Steve.

“St- Steve, he has to know” he stuttered

“The king is trying, everything will be alright my friend.”

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Steve sat huffing onto the quinjet as Nat flew past the wreckage the created. Rogers hadn’t prayed to god in a long time but this time he begged the gods to save you. He feared that he was too late, that the damage done to you was irreversible.

He had been taking down Hydra posts, one after the other as Natasha stole information from them to keep their mission going. That’s when she found out that they had you. When he told Steve he went ballistic, the man barley stopped raiding through bases until he found you. The problem to this was that they were gaining too much attention. Tony was even sent after them but he intentionally showed up late to merely clean up, take report and destroy any evidence that would lead the government into finding them.

When Steve found where you were kept, he prayed that this is the one time Tony shows up on time. They’d raided this base with everything they had, he had found out about Dr. Whitehall from old files Peggy secretly kept with her. He knew he had to find you, given Dr. Whitehall’s sadistic experiments. Steve was covered in the blood of each soldier he killed, he was unhinged with rage. The weight of Captain America didn't hold him down anymore. He took down people. room after room until he saw you.

The floor nearly slipped from underneath him when he saw you. Hung from the ceiling as blood dripped down your body to your feet, a pool of blood fromed underneath you.

“Natasha!” he’d screamed as he took your body down slowly, nearly bursting out in tears.

Your body was covered in cuts and bruises. Needle marks from multiple IV bags of drugs being administered into you. Your fingers broken and crooked, fingernails ripped out on a few off your fingers and toes. Multiple suture lines through your sternum and abdomen. You were still breathing, slow and choppy but you were still fighting.

“Y/N please, please baby.” he rocked your body back and forth as tears couldn’t stop but slip from his

“Just keep breathing, you’re gonna be home soon.” he pushed your hair away from your face.

“Steve they are five minutes out, we have to go.” Nat tried to pull Steve up after wrapping and stuffing all you open wounds with gauze.

“They will have her, Tony won’t let go this easy. Ste-Steve please.” Nat tried to remain strong but regret consumed her as she looked at your broken body.

So he left, he left and prayed. For hours as they flew he was in pain, his entire body shook in panic. Once they got to the safe house, they received T’challa’s call. You were going to be okay. You had to be okay.

#stucky #stucky x reader #natasha romanoff #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel

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