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#weird but you try to go after it anyway but with the absolute purest heart and best intentions

cheesy09 · 3 years

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What are your top 5 Kiro dates? No pressure, my dear friend😆😘

@keliosyfan You cannot send me something like this and expect me to keep quiet 😆 Thank you so much for this delicious, finger-licking ask, friend!! But do I really got to choose??? 🥺 I LOVE ALL HIS DATES!!

Keeping my thoughts/analysis under the cut because this one's going to be a long one. Also, am not ranking them because they're each special to me in their own way. Plus, am only going to concentrate on the dates in EN so far.

Anyway, without further ado, Kiro Date spoilers ahead!

✨Light Pursuit Date

There’s a simple reason why I love this date so so much. It literally contains EVERYTHING I love about their relationship, plus it’s in line with the main story.

“You’re the light I’ve spent my whole life chasing” is such a strong and powerful message to use for a couple, especially since it aligns perfectly with message that this game’s story is trying to deliver. The imagery of light pursuing being used to represent their relationship puts it on an almost spiritual/cosmic level which is just so powerful to me.

The mutual pining: Both MC and Kiro long for each other so strongly throughout this whole date and it’s so obvious to see. MC gets desperate enough to see him that she even starts dreaming about him. And no matter what Helios said on that date, we know why he really invited her to that party.

The undeniable chemistry: The attraction, the thick innuendo, the electricity that is just crackling between them; it’s so tangible, you can cut it with a knife. Talk about delectable... yum!

The angst: As heartbreaking as the angst is, the drama involved between Kiro and MC is juicy as heck, which is another reason why I love their relationship so much. It makes their relationship feel very very real. The angst is what gives birth to the high strung emotions and passion between them. Realities they’re trying to fight, and the feelings they can’t possibly deny.

TWIN-FLAME ENERGY EVERYWHERE: As I said before, Kiro and MC just cannot deny the way they are drawn to each other, and this plays big in the twin-flame theme they have going for them. This is especially obvious in MC’s case. She knows Helios is supposed to be close to a stranger to her, and yet her body can’t help but react to him the way it would react to Kiro despite the danger that radiates from him; like her very soul knows exactly who it is behind the silver hair and cold eyes. I mean we even get this scene:

MC: Aren’t you a member of Black Swan? Why did you approach me?

I closed my eyes and finally asked the question.

Helios quivered inconspicuously under my palm, and soon he spoke in a low and sneering voice.

Helios: Why are you under that misconception?

MC: Because...

Because I thought you were familiar, because my soul quivered involuntarily when being close to you, and because... of a ridiculous assumption.

These words are just so powerful in so many ways because what MC is saying is that she finds Helios familiar because her soul resonates with him, like it happened with someone else before...

In relation to the twin flame concept, this date is a huge representation of stage five and six in the relationship; “the test” and “the chase.” By this point, Kiro and MC’s relationship is being put the test and MC’s chase for Kiro finally begins.

✨Stardust Date

Another date that goes hand in hand with Light Pursuit Date, except with Kiro this time instead of Helios. Plus points that this too is in line with the main story.

MORE YEARNING. And what’s so great about this is that you can actually feel what MC feels. That’s how strongly Kiro can make you pine after him.

That steamy confession of love: It wasn’t just the passionate words that Kiro kept whispering to her, but also the tremendous amount of longing and desire in his voice that belied those very words.

Kiro’s sexiness: Please, you cannot tell me you didn’t find Kiro downright seductive in that outfit. I absolutely love his fashion sense and this one really showed off the lean yet firm build of his body, and that scorching blue-eyed gaze was just- pheeew!!

The danger he radiates: After MC catches him on that phone call, the feeling of oppression that Kiro gives off does intimidate you, but also excites and thrills you at the same time. The duality with this man is just so well-written.

The build up: From the fiery confession, to the obvious yearning and attraction, to the flirting and teasing, and the angst, I’d say this date had one of the best buildups to a kiss overall.

THE KISS: After all that glorious build-up, the execution of the kiss was absolutely brilliant, with Kiro’s statement of “the reward I want more right now... is you” being the breaking point. All the yearning and desire that had built up over the course of the date had been let loose in that one sexy kiss. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED, LOVED the way the desire went both ways. MC pulling him closer and demanding for more from him and him responding just as passionately, was HOT.

Extra thoughts: The necklace that he gives to her on this date is an item that hasn’t been brought up on other dates, which I find a bit weird since they mentioned how important it seemed to Kiro. Another reason why I need this date to be referenced in the future.

What I find interesting about him giving her a necklace is that even though it’s a symbol of love and affection, it’s not as powerful as a ring would be, showing that he wasn’t ready to take the next stage in the relationship. This is important foreshadowing because he knew what exactly could happen to them in the future.

✨Treasure Date

A personal favourite of mine because it shows just how stubborn, delicate and insecure Kiro can actually be.

MC’s unexpected confession of love: Kiro’s not the only whose been pouring out his heart to her. (I’m assuming) Before the events of Chapter 14, MC has done her own fair share of confessing to him on a number of dates; the one in Treasure Date being the most notable. I held my breath when she said “I will... always be crazily in love with you” to him, because it had been the first time I’d seen her outright declare her love to a love interest so earnestly.

The supportiveness: MC just being there for him and comforting him when he was at his weakest is just so heartwarming and satisfying to see.

THE TENDERNESS AND LOVE THEY RADIATE FOR EACH OTHER :’D

BLUSHY KIRO: (Can you tell why I chose to put in that CG?) I don’t know about you, but I feel my soul ascend to heaven every time I see Kiro blush. It’s the most adorable thing on the planet!

THE BIG BABY VIBES HE RADIATES ON THIS DATE MAKE ME WANT TO CUDDLE WITH HIM FOREVER UGH!!!

The pirate and treasure theme: This is a theme that is brought up often in Kiro and MC’s story. Dates as well as the main story. It also goes hand in hand with the light pursuit theme. MC’s determination to turn into a pirate in search of her treasure (Kiro) exactly mirrors the way Kiro referred to himself as a pirate in search of his hidden treasure (MC) before his reunion with her at the convenience store, in his 3rd Anniversary Interview. It really goes to show just how much they desire and treasure each other.

✨Prayer Date

Another hot, steamy date? Yes, ma’am! Kiro’s got a whole arsenal full of these kind of dates.

It is seriously cute how the two of them are always wishing for a “forever” with each other, and how they’re willing to go as far as to rely on superstitions for it HAHA.

Ahem. That visually appealing shower scene. Need I say more?

The date offered me another reason to label Kiro a hopeless romantic. Hello? A candlelit beach??? SWOON~!

The dash of angst: The foreshadowing. Over the course of the date, MC’s numerous failed attempts at doing something to ensure their “forever” had accumulated, and this was the first date we got to see her insecurity in regards to her relationship with Kiro. Again, these high strung emotions is what evoked some passionate desire for him in her.

This date was full of firsts. Not only was it the first time we got to see MC’s insecurity in regards to her relationship with Kiro, but it was also the first time we got to see just how... intense Kiro can be in showing his affection. Also, am I wrong in assuming that this was the first time they got so... physical with each other?

Another excellent date with excellent build-up to the end: From the pleasant start to the date, with MC being full of hope, to the unexpected encounter in the showers just to wet your appetite for this boy (pun intended haha), to the consecutive disappointments and emotional buildup made for a fabulous recipe for the delicious result we were served by the end of the date. Mmm, a spicy one at that.

✨Flowers Date

Honestly, this was the date that made me fall for him super-super hard. It was just full of innocence and the purest of love, no questions asked.

Kiro’s charm is on full blast in this date.

The symbolism brought out by flowers in showing how similar Kiro and MC are, is really strong on this date. They both decide to each get a gift for the other that is supposed to remind them of each other and then split up. When they came back to reveal what they each had gotten each other, they both ended up getting the same thing: a bouquet of daisies (a symbol of purity and innocence).

Kiro’s wholesome love for the simplest things in life (like flower fields) is once again brought out.

THIS DATE WAS SO ROMANTIC. He takes her to the flower field on a bicycle! And they even take off running down the hill together, hand-in-hand, and he spins her around like some kind of princess in the middle of it!

MC did daisy divination, and what was the result she got? *whispers loudly* HE LOVES ME.

Kiro being a parallel to sleeping beauty is ingenious as well as romantic in so many ways. (Plus MC being tempted enough by his sleeping appearance, that she kissed his eyelids had me grinning like a mad fool).

Kiro says some of the most romantic things on this date in the most affectionate and tender of voices:

Notable line 1:

Kiro: Well, MC, maybe you really are my “prince charming.” Because only you can awaken me from darkness, no matter when.

Notable line 2:

Kiro: There was only you in my eyes, wasn’t there?

Notable line 3:

Kiro: Because... You are the whole world in my eyes. Nothing else can compare. My spring... is you.

✨Honorable mention: Miracle Date

This is another fun and wholesome date that always seems to put a smile on my face, but also comes with some strong and sad foreshadowing.

Kiro and MC are just so uplifting of each other in this date and you just love to see it.

THE INTIMACY WHEN HE WRAPPED HER IN HIS ARMS FROM BEHIND AND LACED THEIR FINGERS TOGETHER!!!

Dude, they’re so in sync with each other, it’s not even funny!

I really loved how this date works in a bit of self-introspection for the both of them (actually, a lot of his dates do). We know that Kiro and MC both push each other to become better, and this date really showcased that.

Another date with another strong message.

I melted at the way he says that her very existence is a miracle to him. Like, just the fact that she exists in this world is enough of a blessing for him.

THE LONGING IN HIS VOICE: Kiro so fervently wishing that their time together would slow down because he knew what was to come, was just so heartachingly beautiful, it made me tear up a bit.

#mr love queen's choice #mr love queen's choice kiro #mr love #mr love kiro #mlqc #mlqc kiro #keliosyfan asks #cheesy replies

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fredweesleyismyslut · 4 years

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Fred & George Weasley x reader Poly!headcanons

A/N:

Okay, so this might suck really really badly but bare with me I haven’t really written many headcanons before and me being the talkative little pig I am I ramble too much because there’s so many thoughts flying around and then I end up writing a whole bunch so I’m sorry and I will definitely try to improve in writing more headcanons but for now...I hope you enjoy!!!!

request: Hello if you write for poly relationships could you please do nsfw and sfw headcanons of the Weasley twins x chubby slytherin reader who is just the purest thing on earth and she wears cute skirts and resses in pastel colours and loves cute plushies pretty please?

SFW

Okay okay so, everyone is very surprised first year when you’re placed into Slytherin.

This is because during the train ride you just seemed so pure you were wearing your favorite pastel colored dress and looked basically like a real life doll

Essentially you were the human embodiment of an angel and no one could imagine you hurting a fly

You met the Weasley twins on the train ride and thought they were funny and as you were placed into Slytherin they both shared glances with each other clearly surprised as most thought you’d be a Hufflepuff

Well, yknow, as they say don’t judge a cover by it’s book

You were, however, the nicest Slytherin, you were constantly helping others, giving compliments as you passed people in the halls

Anyways, let’s get to the juice details now, you stayed friends with Fred and George all the way up to your fifth year, when they both started acting weird around you

It was as if they both couldn’t be around you at the same time, or else it was as if they were competing for your attention like two cats

Then, one fateful day, they came up to you at separate times and confessed to you, you spent the whole day thinking, stressing, not able to focus on your studies, until finally your friend asked, “What’s wrong?”

“How do you pick between your two favorite things, like let’s say you want cookies but you also want to have the yummy pastries on the side as well?”

Her response, sent a bell ringing through your head, “Why not both? I mean is there a reason you have to choose?”

As soon as she said that you shot up, “I gotta go do something.” You found Fred and George and pulled them aside, “Do I have to pick between you two? Because I love you both...and I don’t want one without the other…”

The twins shared a glance with each other, eyes glinting with mischievous, as they responded in unison, “Yes, we quite like that idea, darling.”

Since then, you were dating both boys, whenever, you had classes together, they would send little notes flying your way ranging from cute things like, “You look wonderful today, y/n.” “You look great in that dress.”

- You could tell apart the twins easily, unlike everyone most of the time, which resulted in them trying to play tricks on you a lot

You would play along for a bit before finally saying, “I can tell you two apart ding dongs, I’m not your girlfriend for no reason, now stop it or I’m ignoring you both for the rest of the week.” After that threat, they would immediately stop, begging for attention

On days, that you were feeling down about yourself because you didn’t look like the other pretty, popular girls they would cheer you up

They would bring your favorite treats, snuggle you between them, and say sweet things like, “Well, you look absolutely divine, y/n. And we love you, we prefer you this way it’s perfect for both of us.” Then, they would immediately start to tickle you, till eventually you accidentally kicked one of them off the bed then they’d burst in laughter

They are also especially protective of you knowing how kind and pure hearted you were and get quite heated if anyone insults you. As soon as someone even utters an insult your way it’s like their ears twitch and they turn around immediately, defensively standing in front of you ready to throw a punch.

Due to this there have been plenty of times you had to hold them back from beating someone to a pulp, and having to calm them down in a corner telling them it’s fine to which George responds, “It’s not fine. They’re insulting you and honestly you shouldn’t be fine with it either. You shouldn’t be fine with them walking over you because imagine if someone said stuff about us, you’d be angry right? You should be that angry when someone says that to you too...but we won’t go throwing punches if you don’t want us to? Right, Fred?” As Fred huffs before nodding and pulling you closer to calm his anger.

Dates with the boys are usually very light hearted you would go down to Hogsmeade and eat snacks together, or they’d set up a little picnic for you with cute foods that they tried, keyword tried, to make knowing that you like cute things

They also buy you cute plushies or clothes that they think you’d like and bring it on your dates saying, “It reminded us of you so….we got it”

Next thing you know, you have like 50 different plushies crowded in your room and you don’t know how to nicely tell them to stop bringing you so many plushies because it’s too cute but eventually one of your roommates tells them off when the plushies start to fill up on their side of the room too

One time they made cookies which were very cute, but almost broke your tooth off as you took a bite, resulting in you having to go to Madam Pomfrey

After that incident, they usually just buy the snacks or have their mother send them food as you love her cooking as much as she loves you especially because you keep her troublemakers in check

Sometimes though they will purposely make nasty things to see if you’d either pretend to like it and keep eating or actually tell them off, it’s their little mini social experiment/prank on you, which you catch on eventually, and whenever you notice that evil glint in their eyes you purposely play along and make sure they eat their nasty food first to see how long it takes till they break

Basically, these boys are just really sweet and treat you like you’re a freaking empress

NSFW

Now onto the spicy spicy details….

Fred usually initiates the contact, as he does with their pranks

He’s more so the dominating one as George follows along or sometimes watches before he jumps in, not able to handle the teasing you give him

Anywho, whenever you’re feeling down, especially being self deprecating, they both take you and show you just how much they love you, let me paint a picture:

As said, Fred usually initiates contact, you’ll be studying in the library and he’ll slide his hand up your thigh, watching as you shiver slightly from the contact goosebumps rising on your skin

Nonchalantly he asks, “Is it cold in here, darling?” Playing his game you reply, “Nope.” and smile smugly

This will, of course, set off his slightly competitive spirit as his hand goes further, tracing the outline of the fabric covering where you need the most friction

Then George comes into play, being just as mischievous he’ll play his brother’s game, sliding his hand up your other thigh as they both continue to stare at their books as if potion ingredients were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world

A slight moan escapes, as Fred’s finger starts circling your clit, wetness pooling in your center as they both tsk, “Y/n, you’ll have to be quiet, we are in the library after all.”

Anywho, ahem ahem, there’s usually a cycle you have going to make sure everyone gets the equal amount of attention, first it’ll be you and Fred as George, next you and George as Fred, lastly, all three of you

Fred will be pounding into you relentlessly, to blow off steam, especially if they lost a quidditch game, as George plays with your clit as you suck on his cock.

However, rough or gentle these boys are the aftercare is to die for

It’s filled with cuddles and jokes as the boys talk about what pranks they’re working on or new things for their joke shop

They usually clean you up, offer to give massages, and even if you decline they’ll both caress your bunched up shoulders working out any knots, as they trace your skin softly with their lips

But be careful, sometimes they’ll offer you drinks but in reality, it usually has some type of thing they’re planning for their joke shop, so sometimes you might end up being a guinea pig(They do test it on themselves before they test it on you though they’re not complete monsters)

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morkofday · 3 years

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pingxie thoughts (and prayers) bonus 2/2

continuation for this post where i try to make sense of all the visuals offered to us in the amazing bazaar photoshoot. had to divide the bonus part of this series into two bc of the amount of photos and my own tendency to write novels (even while excluding the video clips). hopefully these can offer you all at least something (more than just an eyeroll at my pretentious poetry).

side note: the photos from the digital magazine (the ones without a watermark) belong to @/thosch3i who i very much want to thank you for all the updates and translations ♥

The Bazaar Photoshoot – Future Dream

As stated in the first part of this “analysis”, the theme of this photoshoot was the Pingxie ten years reunion. I already managed to get through the “ideal reality” photos, so now it’s time to delve into the “future dream” in the remaining ones. These seem to offer a deeper look into Pingxie’s actual relationship during the reunion and how their past and future meet in that moment.

(placing under cut bc this gets long with all the photos!)

These photos really challenged me to think outside the box. Bc the obvious answer would’ve just been me screaming “Pingxie married!” on top of my lungs but that’s not really something I’m aiming at quite yet. So I decided to call this pile of photos “the (future) dream” instead, which I think suits it quite well. Just let me try to explain why.

Beginning with these two teaser photos where we first see their matching rings and then their matching necklaces. A lot of eternal promises and unbreakable bonds and soulmate symbolism here (my left brain: but Pingxie married!!! me: shush, not now). I feel like these photos in general show many of those themes, try to catch their bond and the deepest essence of their relationship. This is some type of core, them in their purest form, far outside of actual reality now.

The black and white colors make these photos feel even more like they’re part of a dream or a fantasy or a memory almost. Maybe it is about the things they now have and the things they have lost. Maybe it’s black and white bc things have changed but they still want the same things; they still have their bond and things still make sense. (Maybe I sob about this bc I’m just so weak and Pingxie soulmates, it’s confirmed now!)

Also gotta mention here – bc I will allow myself this one moment of gushing – that Pingxie in black and white, ZSX and XYL in these suits (both suits), is sinful. Absolutely sinful. But also stunning. And so soft. And well, what else could be more symbolic than making Wu Xie wear white and Xiaoge wear black? Tho I think that together, they have always been turning a bit gray. (And how many times did I read that as “gay”? Which,,, still true but. Not the point here.)

At this point am also fighting against my urge to talk about the video clip that dropped with the weibo update on the 1st of March and all the hand action we got in that. Bc I just loved how they played with each other’s hands and the snow and kept looking at their hands together in that clip. It felt like an inaudible love confession. And maybe these photos are just that; a voiceless, wordless way to say “I love you”. Neither of them is good with words anyway and the love is so loud am going deaf. I hope they’re happy.

But if we forget that video, I want to pay attention to the poses in these photos. They are sitting or lying down together, Wu Xie’s head on Xiaoge’s shoulder, Xiaoge’s face almost buried in Wu Xie’s hair or at least turned his way. It feels domestic. There is nothing but them. There is nothing else to care about in this world than them being together and this closeness they share after all the time without it. It’s what they want; this very intense focus on each other (and if that doesn’t scream love to you then I don’t know what to say). It’s a little bit like the ideal reality I talked about in the previous post but even more intense and somehow so much more open which makes me think about this as a “dream” or at least a fantasy of sorts.

Then in the two photos above, we again have Wu Xie looking at the camera while Xiaoge is focusing on him. It feels almost like Xiaoge is a prop here, all the focus placed on Wu Xie who is, unlike in that intense photo in the previous post, smiling. Slightly, but still. He looks soft, content, happy. He’s okay to be the center of all this attention bc he knows that it will take it away from Xiaoge (and omg I know yall whine now that such a thing is impossible with XYL’s beauty but just humor me for a bit). He’s so relaxed bc he knows that Xiaoge is content right next to him. (He might also be a bit smug bc he has a man like that but can anyone blame him?)

I have to note then that, after gushing about their outfits and how good they look in them, there also seems to be a deeper meaning to these suits. Because I don’t think it’s an accident (or a thirst trap) that in these whole-body pictures where they lie in the snow, we see their chests and they’re bare-footed. It feels like this is them being bare in general, open. Their chests show bc their hearts are open, feet are bare bc they are vulnerable (and when you google symbolism for being bare-footed, Wikipedia hits you with childhood and innocence so yes, they are innocent here, pure, like they wish to be). This is them being true and honest with each other, offering all those parts of themselves to the other to look at which they never previously had the courage to show.

At least that’s true in this dream, in this future they hope will become reality one day. In this future that, for now, ignores all the difficulties and obstacles between them (bc they have a lot of stuff to sort out and then Reboot happens and. Yeah well, the future never goes as you planned anyway).

Sitting and shoes on now, we then have Wu Xie offering this almost angry look to the viewer. He might be sitting slightly behind Xiaoge and lower than him but he’s the one who seems powerful here. Xiaoge looks almost childish (which might be just XYL’s personality showing through lol) and is focused on his own hands, the ground, and his shoes/legs. It feels like this is Wu Xie being the one aware for once, being the one who carries their worries, the one who sits there protecting Xiaoge so that Xiaoge can finally focus on something else. So that Xiaoge can be free and a little careless. That he can focus on himself and what he wants after giving so many years away for Wu Xie and his (at this moment non-existent or at least tainted) innocence. This is their dream; or at least Wu Xie’s dream bc somehow this whole photoshoot seems to focus on him instead of Xiaoge (like I stated before, he seems like a prop sometimes haha).

In contrast to that thought and the previous photos, this one actually puts Xiaoge on display tho. He’s at the front, in the middle of the photo, and if you don’t get distracted by Wu Xie’s eyes (hard, I know), then you most likely focus on Xiaoge and get stuck there. It feels intentional, like Wu Xie’s strong protective instinct is somehow left a bit hidden? Behind Xiaoge? Who is usually seen as the protector? Which is interesting imo bc at this point Wu Xie has learned to be very brutal, and in Ultimate Note (and before that), we see him being very fierce when it comes to him protecting those he loves. So this setting between them feels a bit like a dream too, a dream where Wu Xie has been able to pull away a little bc Xiaoge is alright while facing the world again. Xiaoge is not as vulnerable as someone who doesn’t know who he is and who to trust. He has found his place to be.

Then the two photos that confused me the most bc at first they felt like they didn't fit at all? They just felt... weird, even if they look absolutely stunning. Here we have Wu Xie and Xiaoge dressed in their second pair of suits (if these can be called suits?) with Xiaoge in this long cape thing and his arms half bare. Wu Xie’s outfit seems almost too simple compared to everything else he’s worn, and they are both now facing towards the same direction while previously they were either looking at each other, away from each other or, in Wu Xie’s case, the viewer.

Maybe these pictures were why I finally came to think about these as “the future” instead of just some type of “dream”.

Because in these pictures it feels like they are actually looking towards the future. Especially in this last photo they are both facing the light, side by side, in these clothes that feel almost like they’re… I don’t even know. Purified? Divine? Heavenly? Please excuse my lack of words but this just feels like that, like some kind of final peace where even their clothes are somehow on a higher level. It’s a dream-like future where they both can stand strong and be together forever, finally. (Also makes me think about how we see their rings in these pictures, like a sign of the bond they have formed and the bond they want to form (my left brain again: Pingxie married!!!! and this time am tired of arguing against that).)

And if we add the other photo up there, where they are slightly turned towards each other, sharing a look almost, it feels like they have decided to go. Like this is a mutual choice of walking forward, some kind of turning point like the last photo was in the previous post. They are going and the future is at their reach and it’s going to be amazing (or at least I believe so, once again, bc they deserve their happy ending).

What are we then left with? With a future that includes them being at peace, being content with each other and the surrounding world. A future that is, probably, more from Wu Xie’s point of view than Xiaoge’s but still so utterly loving for the both of them (bc what else would Wu Xie want than happiness for Xiaoge?). And then if we connect this to the other photos in the first part, this feels almost like that ideal reality coming to life in their future, that closeness and joy and basking in the other’s presence stretched to cover an eternity. It’s so soft and gentle and sweet. Just like Pingxie are always. And I’m not even surprised that their future includes all of this bc what else could they wish for than the final relief of being together?

#dmbj #ultimate note #pingxie #oh jesus this is a novel #i still hope any of this makes any sense #i lack words and a brain #but also just #this is my love letter to this photoshoot #bc bazaar is doing amazing #and i just have so many thoughts #and i realized so many things #while doing this #pls hit me with your thoughts #if you have anything to add or another view on this #am so curious #pingxiethoughtsandprayers

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adoregoldenharry · 4 years

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Wrong People Sometimes

A/N: Kinda of stuck in a lot of places right now. Trying to get a few negative thoughts out of my head onto here. Please let me know what you think. lots of love. [not my gif]

Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever felt like meeting the one person that you know in your heart is the last person you will every romantically lay your eyes on?

That was how I felt.

The two of us were singers in a world of media and heartbreak. In a overcrowded city with too many cars, and too much pollution. The city of cameras and red carpets. The city of rumors and regulations, according to where exactly you lived.

In this city I met Harry. He was one of the purest people I had ever met. I mean that mentally of course. I had heard things about him and how experienced he was and that he was no stranger to females in the industry. I didn’t like to look at him from that angle. The same one in which everyone looked at him. He was more than that and I knew it from the moment we both saw each other.

I had met him at a small cafe in Los Angeles where I lived. I was aware he lived there too but I just had never seen him previously.

I remember walking in prepared to order some drink my friend from yoga had been boasting about since our first class. I ordered rather quickly that day hoping not to be seen by anyone because I was tired of trying not to break my body in my morning yoga class. I turned to move out of the way and bumped into someone swishing their coffee from their hands onto the floor.

“I am so sorry, oh my gosh,” I blabbered while reaching for some napkins nearby as I had gotten some of his now spilled drink on his shirt. I felt so bad for ruining this mans nice and very stylish tee shirt. “Don't worry about it love its fine,” a deep voice rumbled through the man. Whether he was singing or having a normal conversation most people would be able to tell who he was. I sure was able to.

“Harry? Harry Styles?” I spoke lowly, not trying to blow anyones cover.

He looked around and then back to me nodding. “Yeah, wait a second. You’re Y/N, I love your new album it’s fucking amazing. Shit sorry,” Harry apologized. I giggled and stuck my hand out to him.

“Thanks, I love yours as well.” He grinned and showed off his immaculately shaped dimples.

We had a short conversation outside after I insisted on buying him a new drink to which he continued to refuse. I bought it for him anyway. We talked a little bit about our busy schedules and upcoming plans for our careers. Something us celebrities usually did upon seeing each other in public, weirdly enough.

After about fifteen minutes we had given out numbers and promised to keep in touch. We absolutely did that.

For months to come we had hung out multiple times every month. From dinners to movie nights in on the couch. Harry was my breath of fresh air. He was the person I chose to spend all of my extra time with and he did the same with me. Or so I had hoped anyway. He was always the first to call and ask if we could see each other. It made me feel like he cared and he wanted me like I had eventually wanted him.

Speculation occurred in the media after so many photos of the two of us spending all this time together circulated. His fans jumped right on it trying to dig up anything they could. Both of us stayed rather quiet about our friendship. We thought it was a little humorous to see what everyone would come up with.

“Wont you just come with me please Y/N. It will be so much fun,” Harry whined. I rested my hands on my hims with a smug smile on my face. It had been about a year and half since the beginning of our close knit friendship.

“Harry I can't, I have to finish up the last couple of tracks at the studio.” I watched his face twist into a pout, making me giggle. He was like a little puppy that wouldn't take no for an answer. He would always do this. Make me drop everything for him, yet I always let it slide.

“Please baby,” Harry whimpered. I tensed up at his words. He had never used that pet name before. Mostly because we have a platonic relationship and because he just hadn't. “Harry I-”

I looked at him before I could finish my sentence I saw that adorable, pleading look on his face. I sighed and nodded. To which Harry jumped up from the couch dancing around my living room carpet. “You are such a doofus.” I agreed to go with him on a two week long trip to Italy for a much needed getaway. Harry said I needed to go because he needed to show me something special he had come across last time he had been.

That two week vacation was everything with him. There was one night in particular that I would never forget but I wish I could. He had taken me around the beautifully lit streets of Venice during the night. We had a candlelit dinner in one of the fanciest restaurants between brick walls.

Harry was acting weird that night. He was fidgeting and his hands would shake here and there. I asked him if he was okay and he told me ‘he would be’.

After the dinner he led me to a small bridge. I leant against the railing looking down on the water where gondolas floated by with people sharing romantic moments. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. I smiled and brought my hand up to his hair playing with his curls. “Come on.”

We walked down to the small dock. I gasped when I realized what we were doing. “Ready?” I nodded stepping in after him into the small boat. A man soothingly singing Italian tunes behind us while steering us down the canal. I giggled and clapped my hands together like a little girl. Harry chuckled at how excited I was. He placed his hand at my side and pulled me close into his side. I looked at him with big eyes. A smirk adorning his beautiful face.

His hand came up to my chin and pulled my face close to his. In a split second our lips met. The second they touched everything changed. I knew that and god did I love it, but I also feared it.

I deepened the kiss and let him hold me.

That night we had become different people. Now that I think of it, it was just me who had changed. We had officially become one that night. It all felt like a fever dream. My life felt perfectly made. I had the career, the money, and the man that I wished for all of my life. I felt like I filled what was missing.

Every night after was like the last. We had come out as a couple not too long after Italy. Everyone seemed to have an idea that this would be coming with how much we had been hanging out before then. The internet ate us up with every moment from when we stepped out of our houses together. Pictures of us slapped onto the internet from all over I smiled every time I saw a cute picture of us smiling and holding hands.

I thought I was in love.

“That’s not where you said you were going,” I huffed. Harry sighed and raked his hands through his hair. “Not this again Y/N.”

“Why not, you drill me about other men. Why can I not do the same?” I took a sip of my water in a glass. Harry was becoming visibly more frustrated with my interrogation. He was pictured roaming around LA with one of his exes. I would not have a problem with it as long as he had told me about it. Yet he decided to ignore the thought I guess.

“Jus’ please get over it okay. It’s done, what do ya want me to do? Text you about it now? I presume not,” Harry stomped to the kitchen. Heading toward the fridge to put his now leftovers away from his secret lunch. “I just don't understand what was so hard about sending me a quick text. I had food made for us here as well. Would’ve saved the serving for another time.”

“Fuck Y/N sorry okay!” Harry shouted making me jump and drop my glass. It shatters all over the floor. I mutter and ‘shit’ and bend down to pick up the shards with a towel laying on the counter. Harry bent down helping me clean up the mess. “I think I'll just head back home now,” I grabbed keys from the dinning table heading towards the door.

“No Y/N wait.” I ignored him gently shutting the door behind me.

Things only got worse from that day. We didn't speak for about two weeks. I was hurt that he didn’t try and contact me all that time. I didn't try to call him either but I assured myself it was because I was busy with my next album. I was missing one more song. I was having the worst writers block.

It was a Friday night and I had been surfing through entertainment channels. I stopped upon one of the more popular ones. They were talking about the latest behind the scene montages for new movies. I hadn’t been paying much attention until they started a new story.

“Has the world’s most loved former boy band singer found another romance? What happened with him and Y/N L/N?”

My heart stopped. They showed pictures of Harry walking down a cobblestone path with a blond in an all too familiar place. One that I had been to months ago, with him. It was her. The one who he had seen at lunch two weeks ago. I almost kept myself together until the next picture dissolved onto the screen.

It was Harry and the girl on a small boat floating down the same canal that we shared our first kiss on. Silent tears fell down my cheeks. I wiped them quickly and sniffled. I stood up with my blanket wrapped around my shoulder. I grabbed my small black notebook and headed up my stairs to my bedroom to let the lyrics flow freely.

I remember getting texts from Harry endlessly that same night. He had seen the news and he wouldn't stop calling. He send message after message saying that he was sorry. That he didn't know what he was thinking by taking her there. Harry said that he regretted every decision he had made that ever ruined us.

I never replied to him.

I turned off my phone and set it on my nightstand.

He may have ruined us, but I wrote a song that would ruin him.

I guess I was never really in love.

190 notes · View notes

akinnie75 · 4 years

Text

Until Spring (2/2)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Sow Burn, Romance, Angst, Fantasy

Word Count: 25k

Summary: Freesia Island has the greenest Summer, calmest Autumn, and purest Winter. But their Spring has so many flowers that the land itself becomes a rainbow. It’s a place that you’ve always wanted to travel to after hearing the tales of that island. And one day, you finally got to be there in person, but not being forced into an unwanted marriage by the king himself.

Part One: Here

Pressing the tip of the pen on your paper, the ink leaks out, pouring onto the sheet and soaking into the pages underneath. A pool of blue blood, circling wider and wider onto the paper as your tutor’s words turn to muffles in your ear, going in one ear and out the other as the heaviness in your heart is too heavy to carry anything else.

“Your Highness!” Your tutor shouts.

You raise your head, not necessarily looking at her, but staring through her with your hollow eyes.

“Pay attention, you’ve been zoning out lately. You cannot represent women when you can’t do something as simple as focusing.”

“Sorry…”

Ever since you broke down in front of Jungkook, sleeping hasn’t been easy. You toss and turn in bed often, the ache in your chest not leaving no matter how many times to try to swat it away. The head maid and the tutors aren’t making it easier either.

“Apologies are meaningless if you don’t do anything to piggyback it.”

“Yes…”

———

The summer is getting colder, so you’re finding yourself wearing thicker clothing. If you thought that Spring is cold, then you can’t imagine how you’re going to survive through Autumn and Winter. You don’t even know if the plants are going to make it through the colder seasons either since they’re meant for warmer weather.

After lessons, you notice many of the servants scurrying around in the hallways. You’ve been locked up in this small room with the devil of a tutor all morning, so you don’t know what’s going on.

You tap on the shoulder of a passing servant. “Excuse me, may I ask what’s going on?”

“Your Highness, you don’t know? King Jungkook’s brothers are coming to visit the capital for his birthday.”

Since when were they preparing for his birthday? Also, you didn’t know that Jungkook’s birthday was coming up soon. And his brothers coming? It’s so soon that it makes you nervous just thinking about it.

“Since they’re coming, we’re trying to prepare as many things as possible before their visit as well as for other guests. This will also be a great way to introduce you to many others.”

Suddenly, you regret all those lessons that you ditched or didn’t pay attention to. The etiquette lessons are practically useless unless events like these happen, and now you’re feeling even more anxious. Not only will this be the first time you will be meeting Jungkook’s brothers, but other wealthy people as well. One wrong move, and it’ll tarnish Jungkook’s reputation.

Based on the sort of tone Jungkook uses when speaking about his brothers, you can somewhat tell that he isn’t fond of them. You haven’t spoken to him much since that night. He’s completely recovered from the poison, but he returned to his usual schedule of paperwork and sword training. Because you haven’t shown any improvements in your mannerisms, your lessons have significantly increased, so it gives you less time to make brief conversations with him. It saddens you a bit since those were the few times when you felt free.

“Ah, speaking of the celebration, the head maid would like to talk to you in regards to it.”

You can already tell that this spells trouble. Nothing good ever comes out whenever you’re with the head maid. “Okay, thank you.”

———

“His Majesty’s family are visiting soon. You must prepare to be the best representative as Freesia’s queen. Do not mess this up.”

Just as you thought.

“You must make sure that you do not make a single mistake. Doing so means that it’ll live down in history. Nobody wants humiliation to be remembered, so everything must be absolutely perfect.”

“Yes.”

You don’t look forward to the next few days before his birthday. It’s definitely going to be hard, but you have no other choice but to follow through.

———

And the next few days have been extremely rough. It’s nonstop lessons on nearly everything: the history of Freesia, every aspect of table manners, and the proper way of speaking to others. You have to constantly watch for your posture when you walk and sit. By the end of the day, you’re extremely exhausted, falling onto the bed without changing out of your clothes.

On top of that, you have to take care of the plants, so with so many things on your plate, you just want to sleep the stress away. Other than giving Jungkook the report, you don’t talk to him much. You feel a little embarrassed about what happened that day, and even if you did find the time to talk to him, you have to quickly return to the head maid and finish the rest of the lessons. With each passing day, you dread the lessons more, as you already know that you’re bound to make a mistake on the day of his birthday.

Your feet are killing you. You spent all morning checking the plants, and they haven’t been growing that well. It might be because of the drop in the temperature. While looking through the papers, you know that Jungkook won’t be satisfied with this.

At his usual training place, you see him beating the scarecrow with a wooden sword. He’s drenched in sweat, his white shirt soaked to where you can see his skin from underneath. When he sees you, he wipes his chin with his forearm, breathing heavily as he watches you draw closer to him.

“Good morning, Your Majesty. Here’s the report for today’s garden.”

He takes it from your hand, flipping through the data that you collected. As you glance in other directions, you don’t notice that Jungkook keeps making quick glances at you. He clears his throat, but it doesn’t get your attention.

“Are you tired?”

“Huh? Oh, no I’m fine.” You respond, not expecting him to ask anything at all.

“Every time I see you in the bedroom, you’re dead asleep. Plus, you have eyebags underneath.”

“I do?” You touch below your eyes.

“Are you being overworked?”

You shake your head. “I’m fine! It’s something that I should be able to do.”

But he doesn’t believe you. He makes it apparent that he’s worried, and it’s somewhat embarrassing. It might be your imagination since it’s unbelievable that somebody like Jungkook would be concerned for anybody but him.

“A-anyway...it’s almost your birthday!”

As happy as you try to convey, Jungkook is the exact opposite. If anything, his expression hasn’t changed once.

“I don’t look forward to it just as much as you don’t.”

You’re surprised he knew, but how? Did you make it that obvious? You open your mouth, looking around to say something, but nothing comes out. Since it’s almost his birthday, you’d assume that he’d be excited.

“E-even if you don’t look forward to it, it is the day that you were born.”

“...Yea.”

But with nothing else to share, you stand idly until you can’t handle the silence. You wave goodbye and walk off stiffly. The conversation was particularly off-setting since Jungkook was more serious than usual. He brushed off the topic of his birthday so quickly that you felt like you shouldn’t have brought it up.

———

It’s the day before the birthday ceremony, and everyone is on high alert to make everything as perfect as possible. The head maid has gotten stricter with you, shouting at you for the mistakes that you didn’t even know that you did. The punishments become harsher, turning more physical with the ruler to the hands.

Throughout all this, you haven’t gotten the chance to personally sit down and talk to Jungkook. But what’s strange is that you haven’t seen Taehyung for a while now either. You never see him when there are a lot of people in the same setting—only when you’re alone. But since the castle is riddled with people running about, it’s as if he disappeared into thin air.

By the end of the day, you’re so tired that you could sleep on the floor. You somehow manage to drag your feet to your bedroom, seeing the bed gives you a tiny surge of energy to dash across the vast room and drop your weight onto the bed. You don’t bother with changing out of your dress or wiping the makeup off. All you want to do is sleep.

———

“...Hey…(Y/N)...wake up.”

You hear a familiar voice whisper in your ear. Somebody is shaking your shoulder to wake you up, and it manages to work. Your eyelids feel so heavy that you don’t want to open them, so you groan in response.

The voice sighs. “You’re still in your day gown, and your face powder got all over the pillow. You didn’t bother taking it off?”

“Tired…” You say in a groggy tone.

The person lifts your hand up and inspects it. “Your hands are red. What happened?”

“Hmm...I have a hard time listening...that’s all.”

“Hard time…?” He sighs. “The head maid did this to you, didn’t she?”

You nod slightly. “But it’s okay...It’s not her fault that I’m not good at anything.”

You still refuse to open your eyes, nor do you want to lift your head up. You can feel him stroking his thumb over the red marks you received from the maid. His touch feels so gentle that it’s oddly soothing.

You hear him step away from the bed and the sound of the private bathroom door opens. The sound of water splashing occurs, followed by Jungkook returning and sitting by the bedside again. He cups your cheek and turns your head to face him.

“Stay like this and don’t move.”

A wet cloth touches your face, and your eyebrows twitch before letting him continue with what he’s doing. He wipes the white powder off of your face, followed by him wiping the eyeliner off. He then goes down to your lips, getting rid of the red paint. But you don’t like the feeling of the cloth being pressed against your lips, so you grab his wrist and try pushing it away.

“It feels weird.”

“It’s not good for you to wear makeup while you’re sleeping. Let me finish, I’m almost done.”

Although you dislike it, you let him do what he wants. Once he’s done with that, he goes back to the bathroom and throws the water out, returning once again. You feel his hands wiggling under your back, and you flinch.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything. I’ll loosen the dress for you and help you take the corset off.”

He unties the back of your dress, pulling it down to reveal that you’re wearing another but thinner gown underneath. He then unties the corset and a wave of oxygen enters your lungs. You can finally breathe again. Jungkook doesn’t bother taking off the rest of your clothes, leaving the rest for you to do. The room falls silent for a while once that’s over.

“...What’s it like...celebrating birthdays in your village?”

“Hm? Oh...all of us gathers around the campfire, and we roast a huge pig for everybody to eat.”

“That’s it? No big celebration?”

“What are you talking about? It’s a huge celebration for us. Then again...it’s nothing compared to here. There are so many things you have to worry about that it’s insane.”

“Yea...I wish it wasn’t that much of a big deal either.”

You can feel his hands brush through your hair. This is very unlike Jungkook, who would typically keep his distance from you.

“Do you and your people typically give gifts for birthdays?”

“Gifts? Why would we? Gift exchanges only happen when there’s a wedding ceremony.”

“Ah...is that so?”

You adjust your sleeping position, facing away from Jungkook, which also means pulling yourself away from his hand.

“I’m...sorry if I’m interrupting your sleep.”

You shake your head, eyes still closed. “It’s okay...I don’t mind talking to you as long as my eyes are closed.”

“Really? Why? I’m not an impressive socialite.”

“You don’t have to be. You’re a good listener.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You sure are strange.”

“What’s strange is that it seems like you don’t ever sleep. Take a break every so often. It worries me.”

You? Worried for him? He can’t believe it. He thought that he was just imagining things. Jungkook covers his mouth with the back of his hand, his cheeks burning up. He can’t remember the last time somebody said that they were concerned for him. Even if what you said caught him off-guard, he doesn’t necessarily hate it.

“You’re definitely a weird person.”

But you’ve already fallen into a deep slumber before you heard him. However, it wasn’t his intention for you to hear him anyway. He brushes the hair behind your ear before leaving the room.

———

FALL

The castle has been decorated with white paper folded into various shapes of flowers in celebration of Jungkook’s birthday today. With the hectic servants running around and rushing to make everything picture-perfect, it’s more grandeur compared to your home; no wonder Jungkook was surprised by how small and quick your birthday celebrations are.

The one thing you hate the most is wearing makeup. They cover your face with a white-powdered substance, and it’s irritating on your face. Not only that, but you still can’t get used to the gowns that you have to wear. You used to wear clothes that weren’t so tight, but now that you’re a queen for thousands of people, the head maid claims that you must also represent what elegant women should wear. Since there are people coming from other countries coming to this island to celebrate, the maids try hard to make you as flawlessly beautiful as they can.

Finally free from the grasps of your maids, you’re walking alone on the second floor, above a spiral staircase and looking down at the entrance of the castle. You crouch down into a fetal position, exhaling heavily as you try to breathe through the corset tied tightly around your waist. Despite wearing these heels not even for an hour, your feet are already in pain.

From the corner of your peripheral, you see somebody getting closer to you. You’re quick to get back on your feet in case it was your head maid, but it’s Taehyung.

“Taehyung! Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in such a long time.”

“Don’t worry about it. I had business to attend to relating to your escape,” he smiles to brush off your question. “You look stunning. Are you ready for tonight? You’ll be meeting Jungkook’s brothers for the first time.”

“Truth be told, I’m not. I just want today to end already.”

“Understandable. Unfortunately, you will have to meet them sooner or later because I just saw a carriage with a man who looks like one of his brothers is arriving soon.”

Your heart becomes heavy just thinking about having to introduce yourself to them. And Taehyung was not exaggerating when he said that they’re coming soon. A man with stunning looks enters. He marches into the castle, craving for attention as he makes every step with his boots as loud as possible. He clears his throat, just waiting to shout whatever he wants.

You look down from the second floor, your stomach leaning on the railings. Thankfully, you’re high enough to where Jin doesn’t notice you, so you can spy on them without eyes weighing down on you.

“That’s the oldest, Jin, and he belongs to the late king’s first concubine,” Taehyung explains. “Even though he’s a bit obnoxious, I hear that a lot of women claim that he’s the most handsome out of the six. He may seem a bit dim-witted, don’t fall for it. He’s really good at reading people’s emotions and knows what to say to get what he wants.”

Although you’re too far to hear exactly everything he’s saying, you can already tell that he’s the exact opposite of Jungkook. The way he approaches the servants, patting them on the back and wrapping his arm around their neck as if they’re friends. Even though you’ve been told that he’s reaching his thirties, he doesn’t look like he’s nearing that age whatsoever.

The brother next to arrive is a lot calmer compared to Jin. His hair is brushed back, and he looks strong enough to carry a horse with that upper-body physique. He walks in with an aura of sophistication that no one can ever imitate.

“That’s Namjoon, and he’s the fourth oldest. He was born the same year as the third oldest, Hoseok. He was known for being the smartest and strongest, but he’s also distant from the other brothers.”

Just as Taehyung speaks, another one enters, and his smile is so captivating that you can’t get your eyes off of him. He seems the most normal, smiling at every servant that he walks past by. Right behind him, another handsome man walks in with his hair as black as coal and a glare so cold that everyone freezes upon eye contact with him.

“Speak of the devil, that’s Hoseok. Before Jungkook, he was ranked the best swordsman. Next to him is Yoongi, the second oldest. I don’t know much about him, but I know he’s the most ruthless.”

And lastly, the fifth oldest enters, giggling as if he heard something funny. He’s talking to a guard, and he seems like the kindest out of all of them.

“That’s Jimin. He’s the fifth oldest, and he lives closest to Freesia.”

With that, you’ve seen his half-brothers. All that’s left is for you to meet them. The thought of meeting them makes you anxious, even to the point where your stomach turns. Not all of the brothers seem menacing based on Taehyung’s claims, but you still can’t get that nervousness that’s stuck in your stomach like an anchor. As much as you want to avoid them, you have no other choice but to come face-to-face with them.

———

It’s time for the celebration to begin, and nearly everybody that has been invited has arrived. People from all areas of the world have come to congratulate Jungkook for turning one year older. In the ballroom, you and Jungkook sit in the back on your thrones, a long line of people extending all the way to the other side, waiting for their turns to hold Jungkook’s hand and wish him a happy birthday. With each person, Jungkook forces a plastic smile but not thanking them in return. Once they leave, he returns to his usual stoic self before the next person steps before him.

Unlike the good treatment he receives, they barely acknowledge you. They glance at you briefly before turning away and whispering in each others’ ears as if they’ve never seen anyone like you before. A few of them do greet you, but it’s one of those greetings that feels very forced and an attempt to not make you seem unusual.

After hours of greeting people, it finally comes to a stop, and Jungkook slumps his back, exhaling heavily. You turn to him, just as exhausted as he is. Keeping a proper posture brings pain to your back, you feel as if your spine is going to break at any given second.

“Are you tired, too?” You ask.

“I want this dreadful day to end already.” He massages his face.

You’re glad that he agrees with you. Even though he’s the king, some of these people came from far away to visit, so it’ll ruin his public image if he suddenly sent everybody home. When you look closely, you notice that Jungkook is also wearing makeup to hide his eyebags.

“Sleeping is a waste of time, but tonight is an exception.”

You had a feeling that he wasn’t exhilarated, but not despise it to this extent. Although you two haven’t said much, you both express the same feeling.

You watch as the guests gather around the dance floor while the live orchestra plays. They all seem to be enjoying their time here, but something about this seems off. It isn’t like the feeling of misfortune creeping up your spine, more so that you’re not familiar with what’s in front of you.

It’s Jungkook’s birthday, but besides the brief moments of introductions, they’re focused on themselves. Those days spent preparing for this day, people traveling long and far to come here, all for them not to look at him. For some reason, it’s pitiful. It’s no wonder he doesn’t look forward to his birthdays—it’s all a chore only for it not to be recognized.

Jungkook looks at you from the corner of his eye, then looking down at your hands. He notices that the scars that he saw before are gone. On top of that, the skin color on your hand is paler than before. His assumption is that the maids must’ve covered it with makeup powder.

“What’s with the long face?”

You didn’t think you were making faces, but Jungkook must be really good at reading the atmosphere. “It’s just...I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“I don’t mean to make it sound selfish but...isn’t the whole reason for this gathering is to celebrate your birthday?”

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t see where you’re coming from?”

“Back in my home, we come together to eat at a table to wish the person a happy birthday. Here, it feels...segregated?”

You’re not sure if that’s the right word, but that’s the closest to how you can describe it. Jungkook raises an eyebrow, looking at the people who aren’t even batting an eye at him. He looks back to you, seemingly like he doesn’t completely understand what you’re saying.

“Tell me more about your birthday celebrations.”

———

Standing around each other just on the outside of the dance floor are Jungkook’s five half-brothers. They’re all holding wine glasses, observing Jungkook talking to you. His eyes are only on you as you speak, and the only time he isn’t staring at you is when you’re doing hand movements and he looks down.

“I’ve never seen Jungkook like that with somebody before.” Jimin is the first to break the silence.

“Hey, he’s young and that’s his first wife, so it’s no surprise that he’d be interested in women,” Hoseok snickers slyly as he takes a sip of his wine. “He may be our little brother, but he’s still a man.”

Yoongi scrunches his nose. “Why do you talk about him as if he’s precious to you? You don’t even like him.”

Hoseok laughs again because Yoongi saw right through his shallow comments of endearment.

Namjoon rotates his glass clockwise. “Why her of all people? Isn’t she just some barbarian from a remote island?”

“Have you seen the fruits that her people grow? I’ve never seen anything like that before. That’s probably why he married her.” Hoseok tries to make the shape of an oval with his hands.

Rather than being supportive of his little brother being potentially interested in you, Yoongi can only look at you and him with disgust. “He stares at her like she’s important.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with that?” Jimin sneers at Yoongi.

“As a king, it’s their duty to be more focused on the state of the kingdom, not on a person. Holding a single person as valuable as your land exposes you to weakness. What would he do if she were to be killed?”

“Well…”

“He will be too busy mourning and not focusing on leading his land.” Namjoon chimes in.

Their harsh words leaving Jimin at a loss of words. That’s when Hoseok wraps his arm around Jimin and laughs to lighten the mood.

“Hey, Jungkook has always been a stone-cold kid, so if she were to die, he probably would’ve forgotten that they’re husband and wife.”

After being silent throughout the entire conversation, Jin finishes his glass and sets it down on the dinner table. He wipes his lips with his sleeves, not caring if the red wine gets on his suit.

“I’m going to talk to them and get an idea of what she’s like.”

The brothers are hesitant on letting Jin proceed with his plan, especially since his mind can be a bit rash. However, since he’s the oldest, they let him do what he wants, so he marches right for you and Jungkook, watching as trouble is about to unfold.

Jungkook notices Jin approaching you and him, finally breaking his trance from you to him. Seeing as his attention is elsewhere, you turn around and is startled to see how close Jin is. He leans over to your throne, and you would’ve admired his graceful good looks if he didn’t sneak up on you.

“I don’t think we ever got the chance to speak that much.”

What you looked forward to the least has finally happened. They weren’t interested in getting to know you, which played more into your favor of not having to embarrass yourself in front of everybody, but the heaviness in your chest returned the moment you saw Jin inching closer to you.

“Is there something you need?” Jungkook asks with a frigid tone.

Clearly offended by Jungkook’s impoliteness, Jin pulls himself back. “Hey, who are you to talk to your older brother like that?”

But Jungkook’s unfriendliness doesn’t end there. He stares at Jin with dagger eyes, and that alone makes it very clear that he does not want Jin to stay here any longer than he should. Seeing as Jungkook won’t respond to him, he turns back to you with a malicious grin.

“So...was this marriage consensual?”

That question completely threw you off-guard. You pull your head back, almost as if he threw a punch right to your face.

“Excuse me…?”

“Brother, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

But Jin raises his hand up to order him to silence. He won’t let Jungkook ruin his enjoyment. “This is the question I always ask all my brothers’ concubines. Did you agree to the marriage?”

You look at Jungkook for an answer, but he doesn't know what to say either. That means you’re on your own.

“I did…”

Rather than going along with your response, Jin scoffs at it, rolling his eyes. “What I mean is...did you whole-heartedly agree to the marriage? There was no exchange to be made—no threats involved?”

“I...I…”

This is something you thought about every day, but having a third party shove this in your face is too much. It feels like your vision is becoming blurry, and your head is light. You can’t bring yourself to look at Jin nor Jungkook.

“I ask this because the majority of the time, the women we chose as our concubines almost never have a say in it. That’s just the way we live—men dominate and women are second nature.” He shrugs his shoulders.

You didn’t want to admit it, but it’s true. Ever since you came here, it’s almost like your opinion never matters. With the exception of Taehyung and Jungkook (sometimes), nobody cares about what you think. The manners you’ve been taught exist with the sole purpose of appearing as the ideal woman, but your ideas don’t play a role. Everything your head maid has been teaching is there to keep your personality hidden from the public, and that realization hurts.

“I’m sure you know this by now, but none of us loved our father. If anything, it was a blessing when he died. The only disappointment is that he made that street rat the king of the capital and gave the rest of us natural-born royal bloods in charge of smaller lands. Even you have more royalty compared to him.”

Jin points right at Jungkook. That’s right, you completely forgot about Jungkook’s origins, but he’s not saying anything to stop him from opening his mouth. You were told that he forbade anyone from speaking about his past, but he isn’t stopping Jin.

“We hate our father, but we grew up with him, so we can’t help but become like him. I thought that Jungkook would be nothing like him, but I guess I was wrong. He still married a woman for his own benefit. Did you know, our father had six wives? I wonder how many Jungkook will have.”

With all these words he’s spitting out, Jungkook does nothing to stop this. Even you want him to stop because he’s reminding you of your position. But the more he talks, the more it sinks in that this is going to be the rest of your life. The whole reason you’re talking to Jungkook is to get information out of him for Taehyung, but you’ve been getting too comfortable around him that you let your initial goal slip.

Jin spots that line of vulnerability that you’re showing—that uncertainty in your eyes. “You know what’s interesting about Jungkook’s mother? She sold her body in exchange for money.”

But this triggers Jungkook, and he looks like he’s about to lash out. However, Jin continues just to anger him further.

“But what is there of value if a woman doesn’t value her integrity over her body? Nothing. So then, what makes you think our father decided to make her his last concubine?”

He doesn’t need to say more for you to put the pieces together.

“It’s devastating that she ended up going to heaven along with our mothers and that wrenched father of ours. On the bright side, at least we don’t have to worry about—”

“BE QUIET.”

Jungkook’s booming room makes the ballroom fall silent. He clenches his fist, about to punch Jin but contains the desire to do so. You stand up from your seat, stepping in between to stop the violence from pursuing forward. Without another word, Jungkook walks off and exits the room. You’re about to run after him when Jin stops you.

“There’s no point in following him. People like needs to calm down on their own.”

Although he may be Jungkook’s older half-brother, you have zero respect for him. To be pushing Jungkook to this extent simply for his own amusement is too much. You snarl at Jin, but he returns the look with a side smirk. You run off to find Jungkook, with all eyes on your back as you leave the room.

———

You run around the castle bare feet, holding the heels in your hands. You were running for a while that your feet were beginning to hurt. The long gown is also making it more difficult for you to run, so you lift it up to make it easier to run. Since everybody is in the ballroom, the halls are practically empty, and the only thing you can hear is your feet patting against the floor and your heavy breathing.

You walk around the halls calling his name, but you get no response. Since he isn’t there, you rush to his office, but he isn’t there either. Your last hope is the bedroom, so you head there. Unfortunately, you fail to find him here as well.

Having nowhere else to search, you sit by the edge of the bed, breathing heavily as you finally got the chance to catch your breath. Where could he have gone? He ran off so suddenly that it was difficult to keep up with him. But what did Jin mean when he said that his mother was sent to heaven along with their father? Could it mean that his mother is dead? It could explain why you’ve never seen his mother before and also why he doesn’t enjoy talking about his mother.

While thinking of other places that he could’ve gone, the wind blows into the room, causing it to crawl down your spine. You’re not used to this cold weather, so the chilly gale distracts you from your thoughts. You get out of bed to close the balcony door when you notice someone at the small shed where Jungkook typically practices. Unsurprisingly, it’s Jungkook. Relieved that you finally found him, you rushed out the door and to the garden.

———

It’s even colder outside, and you wrap yourself with your hands. His back is facing you as he stares at the stars. He grew up in this cold weather, so it’s not a surprise that the cold doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t notice you until you get closer and the sound of your gown dragging against the dirt grabs his attention.

“What are you doing here?”

“Did you really think I wanted to be there alone?” You snicker.

You stand next to him but at a safe distance where you don’t touch. He glances down at your dress, and even though it’s dark, he can tell that the ends of the fabric have been torn and you’re not wearing any heels.

“Your feet don’t hurt?”

You shake your head. “Wearing shoes hurt me more.”

From a distance, you see silhouettes of people running through the halls with lanterns. They’re all running frantically as if searching for something.

“They’re probably looking for us. Let’s hide.”

“Where?”

He points to the shed then walks ahead of you. You follow from behind before looking back at the people who are looking for you two.

———

You’ve never been in the shed before nor have you ever thought about entering. Not to your surprise, it looks like any other shed—various types of swords hanging on the wall, a rotting, mahogany table in the center, and lantern that Jungkook is lighting up with a match.

Jungkook sits by the edge of the table, and you do the same since there’s nowhere else to sit. You look down at your feet and see that it’s covered in dirt, but you aren’t disgusted by it. You never wore shoes prior to coming to Freesia Island, so it’s relieving to run around without them. While thinking about the past, you begin rubbing your necklace without thinking.

“You really like that necklace.”

“Oh…” You look down at your necklace, raising it up higher for him to see. “It’s an important part of my family tradition. Whenever a younger generation gets married, we pass it down.”

After saying that, Jungkook scoots away from you. He stares at the ground as he bites his bottom lip.

“I’m sorry. I wasted it.”

“Wasted what?”

“...You got something valuable because you got stuck with me. I dragged you into something you never agreed with.”

Is he thinking about what Jin said to him earlier? He must’ve seen how hurt you were when he was speaking, so it’s finally settling in his head how unhappy you are here. How do you respond to this? You’ve made it obvious that you hate it here, and lying that he didn’t drag you into anything won’t make him feel better either.

“You did,” He looks even more offended, so you desperately think of anything to say to make him feel better. “B-but it’s not so bad now! I mean, it’s tough being an outsider, but I’m getting used to it.”

“Yea, that’s not what you thought when you cried that night.”

“Cried?”

It hits you hard when you’re reminded of your mental breakdown. It’s something that you don’t want to remember since you dislike crying in front of people. Just thinking about it makes your cheeks turn red, so you cover it with your hands and look away from him.

“You don’t have to remind me! Of course I miss my home a lot, but rather than make the topic about me, is there something you want to talk about?”

“What?”

“I dunno. It looks like there’s something bothering you. If you don’t want to say anything, that’s fine. I’m just saying that it’s better to let it off your chest. I promise I won’t tell anybody about it.”

He stares at you suspiciously with an eyebrow raised, but there’s nothing suspicious about your round eyes returning the gaze back at him. He feels a little uncomfortable because it’s still not normal for him to be going to somebody to lean on. Clearing his throat, he thinks about where to start, but nothing comes to mind.

Since he doesn’t have anything to say, you decide to lend a hand. “Is it true that you and your brothers don’t like your father?”

“...It’s true. I despise him with everything I have, and I’m disgusted knowing that we share the same blood. And I also dislike thinking about those men as my brothers. They never treated me like one.”

Jungkook plays with his thumbs, twirling them in circles.

“My mother did have sex with men because it was the easiest way for her to make money. Everybody looked down on her for what she did, but nobody understood that she did it so that we could eat something by the end of the day. She risked sleeping with many dangerous, violent men all for the sake of me.”

He remembers those times when they still lived in the slums of the city, living in an abandoned building infested with rodents and sewage water. Every day, his mother brought another man, luring them in with her captivating beauty and pretending to be infatuated with these lustful men. She did it so often while Jungkook was in the same room that sex was a normal occurrence. Then by the end of the day, his mother would caress his cheek, asking him what he would like to eat. When he looked up at his mother, all he saw were green and purple bruises on her skin.

“Then one day, the king came to town asking for my mother. He was in love with my mother, or at least I think. When I first met him, my mother insisted that I was his son. But truth be told...she slept with so many men that her statement felt like a lie. She must’ve said that to make sure that we would live a life of luxury in the castle.”

He gets a flashback of when he first entered the castle, and it felt gigantic. He had never been in such a vast place before, so being a naive child, he was excited for the life that he was going to live.

“But my mother was treated no differently than when we lived in the streets. She tried her hardest not to show the pain she went through being abused by my father’s concubines. She was the lowest of the lowest, so it wasn’t shocking when even the maids looked down on her. However, I did notice that the higher the position a concubine’s son had, then the more well-respected the mother receives. I thought that if I wanted my mother to live a more comfortable life, then I would have to work hard to impress my father.”

“So that’s when you started training with the sword?”

He nods. “It was hard at first, but I got the hang of it pretty fast. I made sure I scored high on my tests, and it didn’t take long for my father to recognize me. But...after working hard for so long, my father got sick after receiving a wound during a battle and appointed me as heir to the throne.”

“That’s good, right? That means that your mother can live more comfortably.” You say with excitement.

However, Jungkook doesn’t look as gleeful as you. “She died.”

Your jaw drops.

“It’s tradition that whenever the king dies, we burn money and kill his wives so that they can travel to heaven along with him.”

He clenches his fists, refusing to let those memories return. Jin did mention that his mother is no longer with them anymore, but you weren’t expecting her to leave in this fashion.

“When I was recognized by my father, it was the day my mother died. So...those years spent working so hard for the sake of returning the favor to my mother, wasted. She died with the reputation of being a whore, and I couldn’t do anything to show everybody who she truly is. She...sacrificed her body countless times to these wretched men just so that I live an easier life, and I hate that I could never show her how much she meant to me...and everything she did. I never intended on becoming king...I just wanted to protect the person who I treasured the most.”

Just as you thought, despite her image being that of a prostitute, she did it because she loved Jungkook. You can tell that she didn’t care whether or not he returned the favor, she simply wanted him to grow up in a safer environment. The worst part is that her death must’ve been right before he met you because people have told you that he merely became king weeks before he came to your island. That explains Jungkook’s solemn personality when you first met him. It wasn’t that he is a cold-hearted man to the core, he was just mourning the loss of the only person who’s ever loved him.

There’s a lump in your throat, blinking profusely as the tears form in your eyes. Jungkook is taken aback to see that you're the one who’s crying. He leans forward, using his sleeves to wipe your tears away.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m sure she knew.”

He wrinkles his eyebrows, not understanding where you’re coming from. That’s when you pull him in for a hug, burying him your shoulder. He’ll probably try to fight you off, but he looked like he needed a hug. You rock him back and forth, and he stares blankly at the wall with wide eyes, unsure of what to make of this intimate moment.

“It hurts, and it’s something that’ll never heal. Her birthdays, death anniversaries, your birthdays, they’ll hurt because she isn’t there to celebrate with you. I know it feels like she left, but she never did. Even if you can’t see her, she’s watching you right now, and she knows that everything you did was all for the sake of her. So...to let your mother rest in peace and to help you move forward, don’t beat yourself down anymore, okay?”

You continue to cry for him, and Jungkook wraps his arms around you.

“Are you an idiot? Why do you feel bad for someone who stole you from your homeland? I’m the one who ruined your life.”

He’s right. You truly are an idiot suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, pitying the man who took everything away from you. But...you can’t forget that time when he held onto you when you cried. There was a middle ground where you two know how it feels like to lose someone important. And for that, he’s glad that there’s somebody like you who understands him and holds onto him.

———

You assumed that since his birthday has ended, you wouldn’t have to worry about tutoring and training sessions, but that isn’t the case. The head maid continues with the arduous teachings. Even though it already feels like a lot that you have to learn, this feels neverending. How much more do you have to learn until you’ve learned it all?

In your dressing room, you’re balancing three books on your head, with each book being at least four-hundred pages. You attempt to keep in balance, making sure that you don’t drop any of the books and keep your back straight. Your head maid walks around you in circles with a ruler in head. You know perfectly well what that ruler is for.

“If the books remain unstable, then it’s going to fall. By not keeping them well-balanced, then it shows that you are incapable of walking like a proper lady. So far, you fail to do so.”

You’ve already gotten used to her verbally abusing you that when she speaks, her voice goes in one ear and out the other. To distract yourself from having to be put down by her, you look out the window to see that the colors have changed. From the green trees and blue sky, it slowly faded to the autumn’s orange and red leaves. The grass is dead now, and there are fields of brown spread across the land. You would be mesmerized with this view had you not have to focus on holding books with your head.

The head maid slaps you on the shoulder, making you jolt.

“Keep steady! Loosen your shoulders, but don’t slouch to where you look lazy!”

You hate this. You absolutely hate this. You’ve had patience with her since the beginning, but you can’t anymore. She’s only doing it because she doesn’t like you. If you were of some other background, she would’ve been easier on you.

Out of irritation, you want to piss her off even more, so you purposely drop the books. Her jaw hangs low, absolutely in awe that you did that. You tempt her, tilting your head and cocking your head to the side just waiting for her to explode.

“You little-!”

She raises her ruler, getting ready to punish you just as she normally does.

“What happened?”

Standing by the door is Jungkook, arms crossed and his shoulder leaning on the door frame. The look of horror on the head maid’s face is laughable, the power she had over you drained. You hide your hands behind your back, looking at your feet as you wait for something dramatic to unfold.

“Y-Your Majesty…! I…”

“(Y/N), show me your hands.”

You stare at him in a daze, unsure if you heard him the first time. “What?”

“Let me see your hands.”

The head maid begins to sweat bullets when you hesitantly show him your hands. He holds them gently, noticing how red they are and old scars all around it. He doesn’t get angry, but it seems like he doesn’t appreciate the scars either.

He raises his head and glares at the head maid. “Have you been doing this to her?”

“Y-Your Majesty, I can explain. This is just a typical process for disciplining the lady.”

He doesn’t look convinced, and this makes the head maid even more nervous. Seeing how scared she of Jungkook, you pity her, despite her inflicting those injuries onto you. You step in between them, letting go of his hands.

“It’s okay, it’s because I never pay attention.”

He can see it in your eyes that you don’t want him to get upset at her. He doesn’t like how forgiving you are, especially since she must’ve made your life hell, but if you don’t want anything to happen, then it’s better for him to forget about it if it means not upsetting you.

“If that’s the case...then is it alright if I take her out of lessons in the meantime? I have something to talk about with her.”

“Please do! N-no need to ask me for permission, Your Majesty.” She bows her head.

You blink profusely. What does he want to talk about so suddenly? He’s never done this before. If it means intervening in your lessons, it must be important. You glance at the head maid, then at Jungkook. He flicks his head to the door, signaling for you to leave. With nothing to say, you exit the room, leaving him alone with the head maid.

Jungkook watches as you disappear from the hall, constantly looking back to see if he’ll follow you. Once you’re far away enough from the room, he leans close to the maid’s ear to whisper something.

“From this point on, (Y/N) will no longer be needing tutoring lessons. And if I see you ever hurt her again, then you will be seeing yourself out of the castle.”

“Y-yes, Your Majesty.”

“Whenever she needs your assistance, don’t even look at her in the eyes. Don’t forget your position, and don’t forget hers especially. You’re lucky she decided to spare your life in spite of everything you’ve done to her.”

“Y-yes.”

“Good.”

He leans back, leaving the room and catching up with you. You saw the whole thing unfold, but you couldn’t hear anything. When you look at him, he behaves as if none of that ever happened.

“What did you say to her?”

“Nothing of value. Now, come on, I have something to show you.”

Jungkook walks before you and left in confusion, you follow him.

———

In the backyard, you get a better view of what Autumn is like in Freesia. The red and orange leaves are falling off the trees by the second, and the ground is covered with dead leaves. Each step you take, you hear the crunch of the leaves breaking into a million pieces.

The first thing you felt when you went outside of the cold air blowing against you. Despite the thick layers of clothes, it doesn’t protect you from the chilly weather mainly because you’re better suited for warmer climates. Jungkook notices how much you’re struggling with the decrease in temperature.

“Are you cold? You were like this on my birthday, too.”

You shake your head. “No! I’m fine. Now, what did you want to talk to me?”

“Well...please don’t make fun of me when I say this.”

“Say what?”

He pulls up his sweater to hide his flustered cheeks and hides his hands in his pockets. “I thought about what you said...about me overworking myself. Since I have time, I thought I would take this opportunity to relax.”

“That’s great! What do you plan on doing?”

Jungkook crouches down and picks up a single leaf. “Autumn is one of my favorite seasons because when I was a child, the only fond memory I did have was when I gathered the leaves into a pile and fell into it.”

“What…?”

The skeptical expression on your face makes him think that you find this activity to be childish. He turns away, now his entire face turning red as he stands up. He can’t even look you in the face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to waste your time.”

“No, no, no. It’s not that I think what you did as a child is ridiculous, but I didn’t know that you can do that with leaves.”

“I can show you.”

He kneels down again, using his arms to scoop up as many leaves as he possibly can into one pile. You stand over him, observing intently with what he’s doing. He makes a pile large enough that it’s a little above your knees. Once he’s done, he stands next to you as if waiting for you to do something.

“Is...that it?”

“You’re supposed to jump in.”

“But wouldn’t it hurt?”

“It’s softer than you think.”

You won’t budge. Since you are convinced by what he said, he decides to jump in it. You jolt, about to stop him, then getting on your knees to help him up.

“Are you crazy?! Why would you do that?”

But as you pull him out of the pile, what you see is Jungkook laughing. He’s never laughed this much before, seeing as his eyes squint when he laughs a lot. This is the happiest you’ve ever witnessed Jungkook, and it’s almost weird in a way.

“Try it, it’s fun.”

There are pieces of dead leaves stuck in his hair. You have the urge to pick them out, but he looks so joyful that you don’t want to ruin it. You look around for leaves, gathering them and towering them into a large pile. Even though you make a tower that you believe will support you if you fell in it, you’re still doubtful, so you make an even taller pile. But as you keep piling on, the leaves on the top begin falling down.

“I think that’s enough.”

You stare at him suspiciously, not believing that you’ll land on it safely. Since he won’t say anything, you stand up. Now that you got that done, all that’s left is for you to jump. Right as you were about to fall into the leaves, you stop yourself. The thought of jumping into leaves to kill leisure time and being watched so keenly by Jungkook makes it feel...uncomfortable. You become conscious of what you’re doing, and now you almost don’t want to do this.

You’re really beginning to question what you’re doing here. You were just doing lessons with your strict maid, and now you’re here with Jungkook, about to jump into this pile. You thought about everything you’ve done to bring you to where you’re at, and it’s led to you to this moment.

As awkward as it is, Jungkook is anticipating it a lot, even if he isn’t saying anything. You squeeze your eyes shut, not necessarily jumping in per se, simply dropping your body onto it. Just as Jungkook says, it wasn’t as rough as you first thought. It wasn’t soft either, but the crunchy texture wasn’t tough enough to scratch you.

When you open your eyes, it felt like everything was in slow motion. The leaves were launched into the air after your impact, and you watch as the autumn colors flutter around you. You reach your hand out to grab them, but none of it falls into your hands. Within seconds, everything has fallen to the ground. You sit up, wanting to experience that short-lived fun again.

“Look at you, you have leaves all over your back.”

You remove your hair to the side, feeling your back with your hand to feel the small pieces latched onto your woolen clothes. You pick them off individually, and he scoffs. He helps sweep it off since picking them off is going to take an eternity.

Without telling you, you feel his hand run down your back, though a bit vigorous with his movements. It startles you, but you don’t retaliate with his help. It’s sweet that he’s helping you wipe it off. But touching your back is making you flustered. He never makes contact with you unless he tells you, so this is a bit strange.

“There’s some even in your hair.”

It isn’t easy to take them out with your hair tied into a braided bun. He has no other choice but to pick it out one by one.

“You did it, too, so don’t you have some on your back?”

“I do, but I can take it out later.”

“But what if the servants see? They’ll go ballistic if they found out that we were playing outside.”

“It’s fine. I can always take off my coat and shake it off. My hair isn’t as long as yours, so I can run my hand through it to comb it out. Goodness, you have so much in your hair. You might have to wash it out.”

It was fun while it lasted, but what isn’t great is having to clean up the mess that comes after. It takes a long time before he’s done. Your press your hair, noticing that you have strands sticking out from your formerly neat bun. It might be because he never had to worry about long hair, but he must’ve messed it up as he was trying to clean your hair.

When he’s off-guard, you sneak up behind him, scaring him when you start patting him on the back. “Wh-what are you doing?!”

“Helping you clean your back, too.”

Jungkook doesn’t look like he wants this to happen, but just like you, that he doesn’t want to ruin the mood, so he doesn’t say anything. As it was quiet between you two, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable, at least for you. You keep staring at his hair, noticing how thick his black hair is. His hair has grown quite a bit since the first meeting. Ignoring the dead leaves in his hair, it looks really soft, and you feel the urge to pet it.

Without thinking, you reach your hand out to touch his hair. He jolts, frightened by your touch, and you flinch your hand back.

“S-sorry!” Embarrassed, you slap his back really hard.

“Ouch!”

Because of your rash action, the pieces of leaves scatter in the air, some getting in your eyes. You move back, covering your eyes as you feel them poke your eyes and sinking deeper into your eyes.

“Ow…”

Jungkook looks back seeing you in distress. He scoots closer, moving your hands away from your eyes. Each time you try to open them, the pieces would move with your eyelid, pricking at your eyeball again.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“I got something in my eyes.”

Your eyes get watery, and you get the urge to wipe them with your hands, but Jungkook is still holding them away from you.

“Let me see.”

He leans his face just inches away from you, opening your eyelid with his hand and searching for the dust that fell into your eye. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest when you saw how close he was. You tense up, not sure about what to do.

Jungkook begins to blow gently in your eyes to see if he can get rid of it. Your eyes twitch, jerking your head back slightly. However, you remain still, letting him do what he wants. You try really hard not to look at him in the eyes, otherwise, you’ll get flustered again. This close proximity is making your heart beat rapidly.

Even though you told yourself not to look at him, your brain unconsciously directs your eyes to his mouth. Since he’s really close, you can only see his lips. They don’t look chapped whatsoever, and they’re healthily pink. You never noticed that he has a mole under his lower lip. Not only that, but there’s also a scar on his left cheek. There are so many small details about him that you didn’t see the first time, and it makes you wonder if he can notice the little things on your face.

Just thinking about that makes you feel somewhat insecure. Your cheeks turn red, being more conscious about his hand on your face, his thumb holding your eyelid open as he blows in your eye. This intense awkwardness is making you think that your chest is about to explode. You can’t take this anymore, it’s making you feel shy.

Without thinking, you push Jungkook off. He falls into the fallen leaves, the leaves scattering everywhere. You’re so embarrassed that you hide your red cheeks with the palms of your hands. But after that rush leaves, you crawl to Jungkook, hovering over him to check if he’s alright.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that!”

He sits up, rubbing the back of his head, presuming that he hit his head when you pushed him.

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

You lean closer, inspecting his head for any injuries. You sigh in relief to find that there’s nothing fatal.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you without permission.”

“N-no, you didn’t do anything.”

Was the air always this uncomfortable when you spoke to him? You brush your hair behind your ears, your eyes locked to the ground.

You flinch when Jungkook reaches his hand out to brush your bangs as well. Just like when he put his hand on your face, it was very gentle. When you glance up at him, he gazes at you with such care that you’ve never seen before. It’s almost like this isn’t the same Jungkook you’ve always known. He’s sweeter, more playful, and a joy to be around.

Despite the contrast, the man in front of you is still the same. He has the same calm demeanor and looks the same. You can tell when he wants to share things with you, but he doesn’t want to come off as too excited. There’s still that childishness that he has inside of him, but he hides it with his mature side.

“You should go back inside and get your hair fixed.”

He moves away, pretending as if he never touched you. It leaves you surprisingly disappointed that your time with him is ending, despite begrudgingly enduring the uncomfortable atmosphere. Despite barely speaking, it was fun.

“I just wanted someone to talk to. Thank you,” he’s speaking to you, but he has his head turned away. Still, you notice that his ears are turning red. “Maybe during winter, I can show you how to make a snowman or a snow angel.”

You’ve never seen snow before. The closest you’ve ever gotten to snow was when your father described it for you when he saw it. To actually experience snow sounds thrilling.

“I look forward to it! And thank you for taking me out of lessons today.”

“That’s nothing. From now, I don’t think you need it. I’ll see you later.”

You wave goodbye, walking off. You wish you got to talk to him longer, but there’s nothing you can do about it. Your relationship with him has come a long way, and it’s nice seeing how much it blossomed. There’s no more of that lingering dread whenever you’re around him, just comfort, like he’s your friend.

When you turn the corner, you get startled when you find Taehyung just standing there, leaning on the wall. You put your hand over your heart to soothe it, exhaling.

“Oh god, Taehyung! You scared me.”

“You’ve gotten really close with him these days, haven’t you?”

“Huh…? Oh, yea. A lot has happened, so…”

But you let your sentence trail off when you notice that Taehyung doesn’t look happy. He normally treats you with a friendly smile, but he looks a little upset.

“You haven’t forgotten about our plan, have you?”

Mentioning the plan makes you feel bitter inside.

“No, I didn’t.” You look down with shame and shake your head.

“Then what have you been doing? You haven’t been doing your part of the deal.”

“I still am…! It’s just that it...it takes time.”

“I’ve been watching you, and it doesn’t seem like it’ll take that long. All I needed you to do is to find Jungkook’s weak-point. Is that so hard?” He asks with a passive-aggressive tone.

His belittling is irritating you slightly. It’s like he lost trust in you. You’re at fault for not playing your part of the plan, but he never explained why he needs to know Jungkook’s weak spot. How does learning his weakness is going to help you return home?

Home...Every time you thought about it, there was a hollow void that only despair was able to fill in. But now, bringing it up doesn’t hurt anymore. You still want to go home, but it doesn’t have to be immediately either. You want to experience your first snow with Jungkook, and you want to be there when the first day of Spring arrives.

There are things you want to do with Jungkook, and he’s shared so many deep secrets that you feel like a traitor if you left him without telling him. You did this because you thought Jungkook has nothing but malice in him, but there’s more to him than what meets the eye.

When you take a while to respond, that’s when it clicks in Taehyung’s head. “You’ve grown a liking to him, have you?”

Mild panic sets in when his question sinks in. Like him…? Your animosity toward him definitely died down, but not as a romantic interest. You’d like to think that the feeling’s neutral and you two no longer have that gap in between. You know lying won’t convince Taehyung anything, so you can’t beat around the bush.

“He’s not as bad as you think he is.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Are you forgetting who we’re talking about? This is the son of a tyrant, and you think that he’ll be different from his father and brothers?”

You know that, but Jungkook isn’t like them. He didn’t grow up with royalty, and he knows what it’s like to be the lowest of the low.

Taehyung sighs in frustration, pinching his sinuses. “Do you know what happens to the concubines after the king dies?”

You tilt your head, wondering why he brought that up. “Why?”

“If Jungkook dies, then you have no other choice but to die with him.”

The utmost dread sinks into your stomach, weighing you down so much that your knees feel weak. Just like his mother, the second you tie the knock with him, you’re destined to be by his side even after death. Why didn’t it hit you when you learned of his mother’s fate?

You step away from Taehyung slowly, covering your ears as you refuse to listen to him. Sweat starts pouring down your forehead. You just came to terms that this was going to be your life, you don’t want to question it again. Jungkook can’t possibly let you fall into the same fate as his mother. Does he care enough about you to even stop it?

The distraught in your eyes does not give Taehyung any remorse for what he said. The further you step away from him, the closer he gets.

“It has been an integral part of Fressia culture that it’s become normal. That’s why I’m trying to help you, so you can get out of it.”

You shake your head, not wanting to listen to any more of this.

“Then keep with the plan. Now that you know that, don’t let Jungkook get attached to you. Otherwise, when he dies, he’s going to want you to die with him. And don’t cling onto him either. It isn’t like he’ll change tradition.”

Taehyung walks off, leaving you to face the struggle on your own. It was so easy to agree with him and go against Jungkook’s back after what he’s done. But everything isn’t so black and white, just like Jungkook. He may appear cold-hearted, but he has trouble showing that tender side to him. Despite how much you’ve learned about him, there’s still that debate of what he’ll do if he finds out that you’re betraying him?

———

Despite your relationship turning for the better, what Taehyung told you that day haunts you. It’s like a malevolent spirit latched onto you, and each time you see Jungkook, the spirit whispers evil into your ears. Now when he sees you, he would try extremely hard to hide that smile on his face, always doing the same pattern of looking away, curling his lips in, and cheeks turning pink. He would try to answer you in a calm tone, even though it’s obvious that he’s happier when he sees you.

But you can’t say that you feel the same when you see him. It isn’t that you dislike him again, but just an array of complex emotions. You have a feeling that if you talk about this with Jungkook, he won’t be upset about it, but just thinking about asking him still makes you anxious.

In the halls, you just finished inspecting the dragon fruit plants for the day. There isn’t much to check anymore since the weather has gotten a lot colder, and it was already a struggle for the plants to grow during summer since it still was too cold. But with it being autumn, it isn’t shocking to see that the plants have already died. It’s saddening to see, but there is nothing that you can do to make it grow.

Walking behind you is your head maid, with her head hanging low. She’s been like this ever since Jungkook spoke to her privately, and whenever you asked if she was alright, she would barely respond. You’re grateful that your lessons are over, but without it, your day is practically free. You spend most of it just exploring the castle and looking for things to do.

When you turn the corner, your heart stops when you see Jungkook. You two make eye contact, a smile appears on his face for a quick second but disappears when he becomes conscious of the face that he’s making.

“Good afternoon, (Y/N).” He clears his throat.

“Hello…” You respond nervously.

From the corner of your eye, the head maid’s head still remains low, even stepping further away from you. She doesn’t bother looking up to greet him like she typically did. But it doesn’t seem like Jungkook particularly minds.

“What were you doing just now?”

“Oh, I was just finishing up the report.”

You hand him the clipboard, but he barely glances at it.

“Good, then does that mean you have finished work for the day?”

“I am.”

“Then would you like to accompany me to practice? You’ve improved a lot since we’ve last done so.”

“A-actually…” you look around for any excuse possible. “I...Uhm...There are some dresses that came in today, and I have to try them on….s-since...winter is coming soon, so I have to know what to dress to prepare for the cold.”

He looks disappointed that you can’t come with him, even slumping his shoulders to hear your decline. But he tries to make it seem like it didn’t affect him whatsoever.

“Ah...I see. That’s fine.”

You quickly pass by him, making him a little more offended that you’re trying to avoid him.

“(Y/N)...?”

You stop, turning around and smiling. “Yes?”

“Are...you okay? You haven’t been yourself lately, and we haven’t been talking much.”

He notices your bottom lip shaking, but you bite it, blinking profusely as if you want to tell him but is afraid of what he’ll say. You nod, pulling the fakest but most convincing smile possible.

“I’m fine! Be safe while you practice.”

You speed off. He almost called for you again, but seeing how fast you wanted to leave, he didn’t want to bother you.

———

After asking your head maid for some privacy, you lock the door to the dressing room behind you. In the center of the room, you get into a fetal position, pulling your hair as you whine to yourself. You’re irritated by how obvious you made it that you didn’t want to talk to him. Jungkook knows you better than that—he knows you prefer confronting than hiding.

You slap yourself on the cheek, telling yourself that you can’t keep hiding and talk to him like how you used to. You can’t let what Taehyung said bother you any longer. If you want to see your father again, then you aren’t going to do it by running the opposite direction.

You stand up, accepting your declaration. You have to see him again and clear this muddy distance you’ve created. With this newfound drive, you open the door only to be frightened by Jungkook standing inches away from it. You jump, letting a little scream out as you nearly bumped into him.

“Sorry, did I scare you?”

“N-no, you didn’t. I thought you were at sword practice. What are you doing here?”

His cheeks turn slightly red. Now that he’s here, he doesn’t know what to say. It wasn’t bad thinking about it, but now that he’s here, it’s a little embarrassing to say it aloud.

“Oh...I...I just...thought…” He takes in a deep breath to calm down. “I wanted to ask again...if you wanted to have sword practice with me.”

His eyes are shaking, afraid that you’ll turn him down again. You feel so awful avoiding him like this, and it doesn’t hurt to say yes especially since you have nothing to do.

“But wouldn’t I get in the way of your practice?”

“No, never. You look like you need a break from all the feminine activities. And...it’s a bit...more fun with you there.” His voice gets quieter after he admits the thing he was so embarrassed to say.

You can’t say no to him anymore. Just seeing how much he had to fight himself to say that, you don’t want to turn him down anymore. You told yourself that you weren’t going to avoid him anymore, so you have to suck it up and say yes.

“Oka—”

“Your Majesty.”

“What?!” With the peak of his day ruined, Jungkook responds with an upset tone.

“I-I’m sorry, but this is urgent.”

He looks at you, not wanting to leave but has to. Based on this man’s tone, it doesn’t seem like it’s any ordinary news. He tells you goodbye before walking off, his serious tone switched back on and having to return to work. Now you’re the one who’s disappointed.

———

And that disappointment lingers longer than you would’ve expected. Since that day, Jungkook has returned to his previous self where he focused solely on work. He’s so busy that he doesn’t have time to greet you anymore, spending most of it in his office or walking around the castle. He hasn’t told you what happened, neither did anyone else, so it’s beginning to make you worried.

Seeing how busy he is, it’s making you feel even more awful that you were avoiding him because of some idiotic thing somebody else said. You want to ask him if everything’s okay, but you rarely see him nowadays that you aren’t even given the chance to ask him that.

At night, you’re in the room alone in your nightgown. In your hand, you’re holding a picture of Jungkook and his mother. You still haven’t returned the picture yet. You actually forgot about it until you recently found it in your dressing room. Every time you stare at it, you can’t help but wonder what his mother was thinking at the time. Did she know that she was destined to die with her husband? You wish you actually met her so that you can learn how she went through all this without going insane.

You hear the door unlocking, so you quickly hide the photograph inside the drawer, putting it back where it belongs. On the other side of the door is Jungkook, and seeing him made you calm down. Your heart nearly jumped out when the door suddenly opened.

“Did you finish work?” The way you asked that felt somewhat unnatural. It’s been a while since you last spoke to him.

He barely nods his head as he drags his feet across the floor. He looks like a walking zombie with eyebags underneath and his face so gloomy as if he’s filled with nothing but depression.

He drops his body on the bed, his face buried in the blanket. You don’t know what to say, until he rolls around to pull the blanket and wrap himself in it. He scoots closer to you, resting his head on your lap and wrapping his arms around your waist.

Alerted by this, you blush. “Wh-what are you doing??”

“It’s been a long time since I got to be with you. Just give me this chance, I promise I won’t do anything.”

You can’t argue against him since he looks so tired. He always shows his tough side so that nobody can ever think of him as weak, but it’s like he’s given up on that. You feel bad for him—just turning nineteen and having to hold the entire world on his own.

“Aren’t you cold? You’ve been shivering lately.”

“I’m getting used to it.”

“Okay. I want you to be as warm as possible. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“You need to take care of your health, too! Don’t overwork yourself until you faint.”

He doesn’t say anything immediately. “...Can you say that again?”

You raise an eyebrow, thinking that he probably didn’t hear you. “Take care of yourself and don’t overwork your body.”

He lets out an exasperated breath, a small smile appearing on his face. But he feels so bashful that he buries his face in your stomach.

“H-hey! You’re holding me so tight that I can’t breathe.”

“Then don’t act like you’re worried about me.” He teases as his ears turn red.

Is he really not that used to people genuinely asking if he’s okay? He’s like a child who’s hungry for compliments but gets shy afterward. He pats his hand around the bed, looking for something. You don’t know what he’s trying to get until his hand touches the tips of your fingers, grasping your small hand with his large, cold hand, then dragging it over to his head.

He lets go of your hand, and you didn’t know what to do at first. That’s when you realize that he wants you to comb his hair with your hand, but he’s just too shy to say it aloud. He truly is a child, too scared yet brave.

“Your hand’s cold, but your face is hot. Are you getting sick?”

“I’m not sick. A lot of blood is rushing through my head.”

“Should I get the doctor?”

“No, it’ll go away, I hope. Besides, it’s your fault.”

“Me?! How?” You ask, slightly annoyed.

“Never mind. I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep.”

You find it a little endearing seeing how clingy Jungkook is. You would have never expected it, but there are times when he’s a bit childish, but in a sort of way where it’s lovable. As much as you enjoy this, there’s something off about him for the past few days. It must be about the urgent news that he got.

You brush his hair behind his ear. “How are you feeling? You look very exhausted.”

“...Yea, I’m exhausted. There’s been something strange going on in the castle.”

“What is it?”

He turns his head to look up at you. “We think there’s a spy among us.”

A spy? You haven’t noticed a thing, so how were they able to suspect one?

“We don’t know where or how this spy was able to breach through the castle, and we don’t even know what this person looks like. All we know is that they’ve been leaking information out to third parties to bring me down, like when the pirates invaded our land months ago.”

“Is there any way I can help?”

He smiles at how innocent and naive you are about this situation. He reaches out to caress your cheek, feeling your soft skin that he hasn’t touched in a long time.

“Just stay safe.”

In fact, Jungkook even remembers if he’s ever treated you this gently before. There’s some resentment in himself, taking for granted the time he’s spent with you.

“I hate myself.”

You chuckle. “So suddenly?”

“I wasted my time in the beginning treating you terribly. If only I can savor those moments again, but I know I can’t. The best I can do is cherish the moments I have with you right now.”

There’s a burning sensation in your chest like there are explosions going on in your chest. He sends confusing messages to you—does he like you, or are you still a means of making money? You can’t keep this struggle in your head anymore because it’s making you go insane.

“Hey...what are we?”

He looks a little surprised by your question. You never acted like you cared about the marriage, but it wasn’t as if he saw his relationship with you as a full-pledge marriage either. What he does know is that he likes being around you.

His hesitation is scaring you. He isn’t looking at you in the eyes, and it’s not because he doesn’t love you. It’s because of all the hardships that he went through and the lack of care that he’s been receiving that he never imagined to have another person other than his mother in his mind. His mother has always been his priority—to make sure that she lives a leisurely life for everything she’s done for him. He thought his life was nothing worth more.

“I’m sorry.”

His answer only makes you more anxious.

“...You must be going through a lot and feeling complicated. If it relieves you of those troubles, how would you like to go visit your homeland?”

You wouldn't believe what you heard. You never thought that in a million years, he would give you the opportunity to go home. You almost cried, finally being able to lie under the sun and be around the people you love. And you can finally visit your mother’s grave.

But...you feel a little bitter about leaving. As much as you want to go home, you don’t want to leave Jungkook either. You can see it in his eyes that he doesn’t want you to go, but he tries to hide it, albeit, he does a poor job at that though.

That’s when an idea pops up in your head. “How about...after all this is over, let’s have a brief trip to my homeland? I can show you some of my favorite places and maybe even introduce you to my mom.”

There’s a sigh of relief, glad that there’s a mutual feeling in terms of separating, but still, he doesn’t seem satisfied. “I would love that. I would also like to talk to your father. I’d like to discuss something with him.”

Although you don’t know what he’d like to talk to him about, you can only assume that he wants to make up for what he’s done and taking you away. He and your father did not end on a good note, so it’s understandable that he wants to repair that broken relationship.

“Okay! It’s a deal. I have a lot to show you.”

He lets out a laugh. “I look forward to it.”

He closes his eyes, falling into a deep sleep within seconds. He sleeps soundly, being unable to sleep for the past few days because of the spy problem. He must be more stressed than she thinks, but he doesn’t want to show it. He doesn’t want to worry you, which is caring of him to do, but it also doesn’t do much since it still makes you concerned when he bottles things up. But you yourself feel like a hypocrite. You want him to be more honest about his emotions, but there are struggles of your own that you refuse to talk about with him.

You don’t want to do that to him anymore. He’s changed for the better, but it still feels like you haven’t changed at all. The only thing that has changed is how dishonest you are with people. You clutch onto the pearl necklace, thinking this really has to end. There’s no point in continuing Taehyung’s plan if Jungkook is willing to let you see your home again.

———

WINTER

“(Y/N), wake up.” Jungkook whispers in your ear while shaking your shoulder gently.

“Hmm…?”

“Wake up, it’s snowing.”

You stretch your arms, not really thinking about what he just said to you. You open one eye, sitting up slowly to find Jungkook sitting next to you on the bed. There’s a big grin on his face, like a child impatiently waiting to show something to their parents.

“What’s happening?”

“Come look, it’s snowing.”

He takes you by the hand and drags you to the window. You didn’t think too much about it—you just let him do it. He wipes the fog out of the way to show you what he’s talking about. It takes a few seconds for you to process how white the outdoors are. That’s when the childish excitement hits you.

“Whoa!” You press your hands on the window only to jerk it back after feeling how cold it was.

This is your first time seeing snow, and you’d never thought that one color could be so gorgeous. Despite no sun, the whiteness reflects the light and makes every dark color disappear. Jungkook looks down, glad to see that you like the snow.

“How is it?”

“It’s so...pretty, but…” you hug yourself. “It’s so cold.”

“That’s right...make sure you keep yourself warm.”

“Since it’s snowing...what about the plants?”

By now they’re all probably dead.

“Don’t worry about them, we can clean it up. I have to go to my office, I’ll see you later.”

Even though it’s just the morning, he already has to work. As he heads to the bathroom to clean his face, you call out after him.

“Wait, if I don’t have lessons and don’t have to take care of the plants anymore, what should I be doing?”

He turns to you, shrugging his shoulders. “Whatever you want.”

Jungkook walks out the door, leaving you alone. The longer you’re here, the more freedom you have, and it’s strange. You no longer feel captive here, and it almost feels like this place can be your home. The more you think about him, the more flustered you become.

You press your cheek on the cold glass window to cool down your burning face, cursing Jungkook for being so kind to you.

But as you did so, you sneeze.

———

Despite the beauty of the snow, the freezing temperature is unbearable. You’re finding yourself wearing more layers than ever before, wearing up to five layers, scarves, and mittens. Now with no tutoring and having the responsibility of taking care of the garden, you spend most of your time near the fireplace. Your hand has become so stiff because of the cold that it hurts to even move.

But the times you do warm your body enough, then there’s one thing that you have to do, and it’s to find Taehyung. The more you think about him, the less you actually know about him. You don’t know where he hides, only presenting himself whenever he wants to. He never talks to you whenever people are around, and you never have seen him talk to anybody else. You started experiencing discomfort when he started questioning you. You don’t want to keep this from Jungkook anymore, so you want to end it. But, you don’t know where to find him.

“Your Highness, you shouldn’t stay too close to the fire. Your clothes can get burned.” A maid kneels next to you.

“Just a little longer…” You sneeze.

Even though you stand really close to the chimney, you’re shaking uncontrollably. You would have never thought that it was possible for temperatures to drop this low. It’s only been a few days since winter began, and you can’t stand it. Your nose is congested, and you’ve been sneezing and coughing often.

“We can get you warmed up if you let us give you more layers, Your Highness, so please…”

“I don’t think layers will work,” you rub your nose with your finger. “I don’t feel well…”

“But standing by the fire won’t make you feel better...If you’re feeling ill, then let us give you some medicine.”

“I’m okay...I think some sleep will help me.”

“Alright, I’ll provide you with some medicine immediately. Please stay still while I fetch you some.”

The maid runs off and leaves you alone. You start coughing, sniffing again as you look out the window and seeing snowflakes swaying downwards. It looks so pretty that it’s disappointing that you’ve too unwell to go outside. Your body has been made to function in the heat, not the freezing weather.

You yawn, trying your hardest to keep your eyes open but failing to do so. You lay on your side, the warmth from the flames blanketing you, even though your back is being hugged by the cold air. Just for five seconds, you thought to yourself before closing your eyes.

———

“(Y/N).” Taehyung’s deep, soothing voice wakes you up.

You open your eyes, not recalling when you fell asleep. He’s on his knees, looking down at you with hollow eyes. Because you’re half asleep, you don’t bother asking why he’s here or what he’s doing. After all, Taehyung can come and go whenever he wishes.

“Taehyung…?”

“Sh...I need you to be quiet.”

“...What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“I need you not to say a word.”

You raise your head, using your elbow to stand you up. “What?”

Your first thought is to tell him that you don’t want to do anything with the plan anymore, but you’re so tired that your mouth won’t move for you.

“I promise you it won’t hurt, so stay still.”

He puts a cloth over your mouth. You fight with him temporarily, attempting to push him away, before you breathe in the chemicals, garnering you unconscious. Your eyes become heavy again, closing your eyes. Had you still have your strength, then you would’ve been able to fight him longer. Unfortunately, you succumb to the toxic small, falling asleep once again.

———

Jungkook sighs in a frustrated tone, massaging his head. He leans back in his chair, releasing him of his stress for now. With so much paperwork still left to do as well as devising battle strategies with his brothers, it seems like his days will never end. Not only that, but he still needs to continue with the investigation of the supposed spy hiding somewhere. The experts of dragon fruits from his island aren’t doing successfully either, especially since the shipments have been slow due to the blizzards.

He hasn’t spoken to you in days, and he still hasn’t gotten the chance to show you the snow. He’s been holed up in his office, figuring out ways for his agenda, so he hasn’t slept in his bed in ages. It felt like forever since he slept next to you in bed, even though it was a few days ago. Even though his bed is as comfortable as it can be, sleeping beside you felt like heaven. He would like to know what you’re doing now.

But on the other side of the room, he could hear a ruckus going on. It may be because of his stress, but the noise happening on the opposite end is beginning to annoy him. He grunts, getting up from his seat and opens the door to see what’s going on. Standing by the door is his main butler.

“What’s going on?”

“Your Majestic, do not worry about it. There’s just a minor issue going on that’ll be solved in no time.”

But the vagueness with his statement only makes him more suspicious. He crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow.

“And what is that ‘problem’ that’ll be solved? Why is it that you can’t tell me?”

Sweat falls from his forehead, trying to think of ways to tell him so that he doesn’t become frantic. “Well...you see...Her Highness...is missing.”

“What?!”

Just as predicted, Jungkook is shocked to hear the news.

“What do you mean she’s missing? How do you lose a human being?!”

“P-please, settle down, Your Majesty…”

“How do I settle down knowing that she’s gone??”

“We’ll figure everything out. For now, you should finish our duties for the day. Your brothers have been insisting that you submit a new—”

“I don’t give a shit about what they want right now. Tell me where she was last seen.”

“The maids claimed that they went to fetch her some medicine since she was showing signs of a fever, but when they got back, she was gone. They thought it was her wandering about the castle as per usual, but there isn’t a single trace of where she had gone off.”

Jungkook hadn’t an ounce of clue that she was sick. He had been so busy with his work that he didn’t have time to pay attention to her.

“I’m going to help.”

“But, Your Majesty, you shouldn’t worry about something as small as this! I’m sure she’s just playing around in the castle somewhere—”

He grabs the butler by the shirt, pulling him close. He has never seen such pure rage in Jungkook’s eyes, bloodlust that could kill someone at any moment.

“This woman who you’re claiming is ‘playing around’ is my wife and the queen of this land. If she is sick like you say she is, then why on earth did you assume that she’s fooling around?”

Never has anyone heard Jungkook declare you as his married partner, but it was at this time that he has finally accepted his feelings—how he sees you in his eyes. It took your disappearance for him to come to terms with his emotions, and now he cannot hold them back anymore.

He pushes the butler away, marching off in search of you. “If no one is going to do it, then I will.”

———

He barges into the bedroom, hoping that you would be here. “(Y/N)??!”

But no response.

He looks in the private bathroom then in the closet, calling your name numerous times to no avail. How could he have ignored you these past few days? He feels like a fool; he should’ve known that you couldn’t adapt to the change of weather, fearing that you have become more vulnerable to the flu.

After searching the whole room, turning everything upside down, he sits on the bed, sighing heavily while messing with his hair out of frustration. There were times when he thought about letting you go back to your island without him, but knowing that you’re not here, it’s already enough for him to go crazy.

He lowers his head, but then he hears something tapping gently on the nightstand. He looks up to find your black pearl necklace hanging on the knob, swaying against the cold gale. Seeing the necklace by itself is already unusual, but peeking out from the crack of the drawer is a piece of paper.

He opens it, discovering a written letter, and it reads:

“Come to the bottom of the mountain during nightfall. Do not alert anyone of this and come alone.”

With the necklace missing its owner and the mysterious letter, he knew that you’ve been kidnapped. He crumbles up the letter, tossing it aside and running out the door. He doesn’t know what’ll happen to you, but only time can tell.

———

You flutter your eyelashes, waking up from a deep slumber in an unknown area. Whatever you’re in, it’s a rocky place, moving up and down and the clacking of horse steps. Your eyes adjust to the darkness, and you’re in a wooden carriage. You sit up, hearing two male voices talking on the other side of the carriage.

“That fucking bastard better pay us well.”

“Why? Are you paranoid?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? We have the queen in our hands, and knowing how scary the king and that damn brat are, we’re risking our lives here.”

“Don’t worry, he was able to get her out without anybody noticing. I’m sure it’ll stall some time before we give her away.”

Whoever these people are, you don’t trust them one bit. You try moving your arms, but they’re tied behind your back. It doesn’t take long for you to learn that you’re in danger. But since you’re alone, it makes everything more terrifying. You try looking around for anything that’ll spark an idea, but nothing pops up. Even though you can see enough to where you know you’re in a carriage, you can’t distinguish the minute details.

You begin coughing, having completely forgotten that you’re sick. You try to silence it by covering your mouth, but you fail to do so since keeping it in your throat irritates it. You cough repeatedly, coughing so much that you’re dry heaving. This alerts the two men at the front, slowing the carriage down.

“Hey! Are you awake?”

But you don’t reply.

“Hey, answer us.”

“I can’t...breathe.” You respond in a raspy voice.

The two men look at each other.

“God fucking damn it. He didn’t tell us that she’s sick.”

“Well, we can’t have her die,” he stops the carriage and points to the back. “Go check on her.”

He groans, grabbing the lantern and jumping off the carriage. He walks to the back, unlocking the door with a key and opening it.

“What the hell are you going on about—”

Suddenly, you show yourself to him, but you do so by kicking him in the face. He falls backward, dropping the lantern. You debate on whether or not you should bring the lantern with you, but since there’s another man, you don’t want to run the risk of making yourself visible when he’ll chase after you.

But hiding behind the cloak and clipped onto his belt is a dagger. You turn around, bending backward to reach over and grab it before the second man catches notice.

“What’s going on?!”

You’re able to get it in time, then you flee into the wilderness in the complete darkness. He gets off the carriage and sees the man with a bloody nose.

“Fuck!”

He takes out his pistol and aims it at you. He squints his eyes, steadying his pistol to shoot, but it’s too dark for him to make an accurate shot. Instead, he takes the chance and pulls the trigger, not sure if he managed to hit you.

He puts his hands to his hips, cursing again, knowing full well what’s about to befall on him and his partner. He takes a few seconds to think about what to do, then he chases after you.

———

Riding on a horse is Jungkook, holding up a lantern and using his other hand to hold onto the rope. They glide through the snow, looking around in hopes that you will appear. He shouts your name, praying that you’ll answer him. However, each time he calls for your name, nothing would respond.

“(Y/N)! Where are you?!”

He knew that the spy who broke into the castle took you, but he should’ve had more security around you. He didn’t think that the spy would make a move on you, and this frustrates him. There were so many things he could’ve done to avoid this, but he did none of it and now he has to pay for it.

His nihilistic side is telling him that you’re already dead, but he keeps shaking that thought out of his head. He can’t lose hope now—there’s still a chance that you’re out there. Each time the worst possible imagination creeps into his brain, he pushes it away, convincing himself not to give up yet. He thinks about all those times when you spent time with him despite the things he’s done to you. Even if it was a facade, he enjoyed every single second of it. You gave him something that no one has ever given him, and it’s being treated not as a king, but as a human who shares the same emotions, struggles, and happiness.

However, he stops in his tracks when he sees a man with a lantern in the middle of the road. Jungkook was going too fast that he nearly ran into him. He gets off of his horse, about to ask him if he’s seen you, but he takes out his gun, pointing it right at his face.

“Good evening, Your Majesty. What are you doing here so late at night?”

Jungkook freezes, immediately knowing that this is the man who took you. He is about to reach for his sword, but the man moves the gun closer.

“Don’t move, otherwise I’ll blast your face into a million pieces.”

He raises his hands up.

“I can’t believe you actually chased after her on your own. I would’ve expected better from a king,” he draws in closer, not putting the gun down. “That was a rather clumsy move of you to do. Risking your life for a lowlife like her.”

“Don’t call her that.”

“I can call her whatever I want! I’m going to kill you anyway. Did you really think that everyone agrees with you marrying a savage from some tropical island?? You could’ve just pillaged their entire island and take everything for your own. I don’t understand why you had to marry her.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply to him. He knows that this man is trying to get to his weak side, but he won’t let him.

“I can just kill you right here and now. No one will know. I can actually get away with killing you.”

Since there’s no other way out, Jungkook gets ready to draw his sword out.

But just as Jungkook was preparing to fight, someone ambushes the man from the bushes and tackles him down. They’re both caught by surprise, the person and the man rolling down the hill. Jungkook chases after them, sliding down with them. When he sees who the person is, he’s shocked to discover that it’s you.

You manage to stab him in the abdomen with the dagger that you took from his partner. The wound isn’t fatal since you didn’t put all of your strength into it, but you did manage to push him against a rock, causing him to fall unconscious.

You curl into a ball, freezing to death as you cough profusely. He rushes to you, turning you over and notices that your shoulder is bleeding from a gun injury, having barely missed the shot but still brazing you on the shoulder.

“(Y/N)?! Hey, (Y/N)!”

You used up the last of your strength, so you’re finding it difficult to answer him back. You’re shivering so much, so cold that you can’t feel your fingers. He holds onto your hands to keep them warm, his mind going all sorts of directions. The first thing he needs to take care of is making sure that you get back to the castle safely.

He carries you up the hill, trekking through the deep snow with you in his arms. But at the base of the hill, the man groans, barely conscious due to his head injury. Jungkook looks down, seeing him moving his arm slightly. As much as he wants to leave him down there, he knows that it isn’t ethically right.

Once he makes it to the top, Jungkook lays you down on the ground and he runs back down to get the man.

———

You wake up, gasping for air. You’re sitting in front of a horse, but other than that, you’re not sure where you’re at. You keep going in and out of consciousness that you don’t know what’s a dream and what’s real. You feel so weak that you can’t sit up straight, but what’s keeping you from falling is an arm wrapped around your stomach.

“Huh…? Where am I…?”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

You look up, unable to believe that it’s Jungkook. Earlier when you saw the man try to kill him, you don’t know what you were thinking and it was your gut instinct to save him.

“...Are you hurt?”

He chuckles. “Why are you asking me that? I should be asking you that.”

You lean back on his chest, falling back asleep again. It’s so cold that you can’t move your fingers.

“I’m okay...just...cold.”

Jungkook scoots you closer to him without a centimeter of air in between your back and his chest. He stretches his coat out and makes sure that it covers you entirely.

“Feel better?”

“A little bit.”

You look behind him when you hear something dragging against the floor. Jungkook attached some ropes on a man-made sleigh he made out of bark and on it is the person who tried to kill him earlier. You don’t know why he’s bringing him even though he tried to murder him, but you’re too tired to think about it further.

With his arm wrapped around your stomach, you hold onto his forearm with your hands. “Why did you go so far to save me?”

“Why? Well…”

“You didn’t have to risk your life like that just for me.”

“What makes you think that? My life is not worth more than yours.”

“Because...you wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of traveling down here and getting me. I know how busy you are.”

“...Don’t talk and rest. You’re burning up.”

But you don’t feel like falling asleep yet. There’s still something you’ve been meaning to talk to him about, and with your half-awake consciousness, there is no such thing as boundaries.

“Am I going to die if you die, just like your mom?”

His eyes widen, taken aback by what you asked. When he looks at your face, you’ve fallen asleep, which is a blessing because he wouldn’t know how to respond to you. He knew that you’ve been behaving oddly lately, but he wasn’t expecting that to be what has been bothering you. Rather than feeling confused, he feels awful for making you question this.

Jungkook can’t continue this any longer. He can’t see you this upset anymore.

———

“She has a fever and is coughing fit, but other than that, she’s fine. The cut on her shoulder will heal in no time.” The doctor steps away from you.

You’ve been bedridden with three layers of blankets over you. The doctor has treated your wounds and the medicine you needed. Standing beside him is Jungkook, his arms crossed and biting his fingernails.

“As long as she stays in bed, then she’ll get better within a few days. Her body hasn’t adjusted to the winter, so it’s preferable that she stays as warm as possible until she gets used to the temperature.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

The doctor walks out of the room to give Jungkook some alone time with you. He holds onto your hand, listening to you breathe steadily. Although your physical health will improve, it feels like with each passing day, your mental health deteriorates. You weren’t afraid to express yourself, standing up when you needed to, but now, you’ve become reclusive, keeping to yourself.

He shouldn’t have isolated you in the beginning, especially when you were in a foreign land by yourself. You had to endure things on your own, and yet, you were the one who approached him and was there when he needed it the most. On an island that he grew up in, it was you, an outsider, who knew him better than anybody else. The only time when you expressed how troubled your mentality was when you broke down into tears after eating dragon fruit. He turned a blind eye to your homesickness, and now you’re paying the consequences of his actions.

He kneels down, pressing your knuckles on his forehead. Never in his life has he ever felt this selfish before. He knew you wanted to go back, but the more he became attached to you, the more he didn’t want to admit that you didn’t want him as much as he wanted you. While his world has become nothing but you, you’re gazing in the opposite direction, desiring the comfort of your home.

He laughs at himself. “I really am like my father…”

Jungkook kisses the back of your hand, finally coming to terms with what you want in contrast to him. “I’ll fix things now so it won't have to be like this anymore.”

But first, there’s something that he needs to take care of first. He lets go of your hand, walking out of the room to do some unfinished business. He takes out your pearl necklace and puts it around your neck where it belongs.

———

On the lowest floor of the castle, the man Jungkook saved is stuck in a room infested with rodents. The walls leak with sewage water, and he’s stuck on a chair, tied to tight that he’s losing blood circulation in his wrists. He’s covered in blood and sweat, his breathing heavy.

The door creaks open, and Jungkook walks in. Despite his face remaining stoic, there’s raw anger buried underneath the irises. The man’s fear heightens, terrified of what Jungkook will do. Jungkook takes each step closer to him slowly. Once he’s in front of the man, he presses his hand on his shoulder, and the man flinches. He unties the cloth around his mouth, letting him inhale fresh air.

“It won’t be excruciating as long as you answer me. I’m still pissed off, so I have very little patience in me so if you try to lie to me or avoid my questions, I won’t go easy on you. Now, tell me, who hired you to kidnap (Y/N)?”

———

Winter was like a blur, coming in and leaving very quickly. By the time you know it, it’s already the last day before spring. The snow has melted, green grass springing up again, revealing itself after a harrowing winter. Leaves are sprouting on trees again, meaning that it’s almost the season of color. It’s almost been a year since you arrived here, but it still feels like it was yesterday when you first set foot here.

Your health has improved significantly, but you haven’t left the castle. You still can’t remember if that evening when Taehyung took you away from a dream or real, but it has to be since you vividly remember walking around in the snow and Jungkook rescuing you. You find it hard to believe that Taehyung actually did that to you, and you’re more than furious that he went behind your back and cost nearly your life and Jungkook’s. As much as you want to talk to Taehyung, you don’t know where he is.

Even though everything has returned to normal, it feels a bit too unusual at how quick it was to revert to the typical lifestyle. Jungkook doesn’t bring up what happened that night, and whenever you try to, he avoids the question altogether.

In the bedroom, you’re folding the blankets when Jungkook enters.

“Oh, good afternoon, Jungkook.”

“You don’t have to fold the blanket. Have one of the maids do it.”

“I know, but I like doing it on my own. Was there something you needed?”

“I do, actually. There’s something I need to ask of you.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“Do you know about the Spring Festival?”

You clap your hands together, knowing this folklore better than a native of this land. “Is it about the God of Spring looking for his lost love, Freesia?! I love that tale!”

“You do?”

“My mom always told me that story before bedtime. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to come here.”

“Right...you never saw the festival, have you?”

You shake your head. You came around mid-Spring, so you missed the opportunity to celebrate it with everyone in town.

“Well, the townsfolk are going to pick freesias and place it in the river by midnight. Since you’ve never done it before, would you like to participate in it?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course!”

“Okay. I finish work later tonight. Once I’m done, let’s sneak out of the castle and head to town.”

Just as Jungkook is about to leave the room, it struck you when Jungkook said ‘sneak’. “Wait, sneak? Are we even allowed to leave the castle?”

He simply puts his index finger to his lips, telling you to keep it a secret. He closes the door behind him, leaving you both nervous and excited. You haven’t been to town since the first day, so it’s nice to finally leave the castle and venture into the streets. You look forward to the festival since it’s been something you wanted to be in since you were a child.

———

The evening rolls along, and it’s almost time for the spring festival. Since the pair aren’t allowed to leave the castle, they wear a disguise with cloaks to hide their identity. They stealthily pass through servants, snickering like children who are skipping class for the first time. They’re able to sneak out of the castle undetected, stealing a horse in the process and heading down to town.

In town, Jungkook ties the horse’s rope on a fence. Starstruck by the number of flowers decorating the city, you’re left in awe. Freesias are hanging on the walls of buildings, and tied to the roofs of the narrow buildings are strings that hold paper lanterns with lit candles inside. Unlike the dead silent castle, the town is surrounded by live music with townspeople dancing at the town square. By the sidewalks are stalls selling various items.

You can’t wait any longer. You run into the fun gathering with Jungkook from behind running after you.

“Wait!”

You head to the closest stand that is selling different fruits. Some of them you’ve never seen before, and one that stands out is a lone dragon fruit isolated from the rest of the fruits. There’s a sign in front of it, selling it for a high price.

“Where did you get that?” You ask.

“Ah, I see that this exotic fruit has caught your attention. You see, this is a recently discovered fruit from the tropical island known as Pitaya Island. The king himself traveled long and far in search of it. And while some of it has died due to the cold weather, this one managed to survive. Since you seem like a nice girl, how about I sell it for ten percent off?”

You look at the price, baffled by how much he’s selling it for. Even if the discount is put in, it’s still expensive. You have so many in your homeland and there are bags of seeds in the garden storage, so there’s no reason for you to buy it.

“No thanks.”

“Please, I insist! You’re not gonna find it anywhere. It’s the last of its kind. Here, I’ll let you in on a little secret,” the seller looks around as if this is top secret that only you can hear. “There’s a myth that in rare cases, some dragon fruits actually real-life dragon eggs. I can guarantee you that this is one of them. It’s a little pricey, but it’ll be worth your money.”

You scoff, knowing full well that myth isn’t real. Also, you know that dragon fruits can grow exponentially bigger than what he’s showing you. It must’ve shrunk because it’s past its ripe phase is losing liquid inside.

“I’m okay.”

“Ma’am, I’m telling you—”

“If she doesn’t want it, then don’t force her to buy it,” Jungkook pulls you away, dragging you away from a scammer. “You have to be careful. Some of these people will do anything just to get you to buy something. And for a high price at that too.”

“Really? Why would he do that?”

“To make ends meet, I guess. Trust me, I used to do that, too.”

You can’t imagine Jungkook as a scammer, especially at a young age. He takes you around at the other stalls, the other sellers trying to convince you and him to buy from them. What they sell intrigues you, such as wall clocks, fabric, and accessories. There are things that you’ve never seen before, like a statue of a monkey, for example, that the seller claims to be a rare artifact that belonged to the god of war, whatever that means.

In one stall, it looks particularly crowded, so it grabs your interest. You take Jungkook by the wrist, dragging him to the busy stall to see what the commotion is. While pushing through the crowd, you see that the woman behind the table is selling steamed potatoes.

“Hello, young lady! Would you like to have some?” She looks at you.

“Uhm…”

“They’re freshly roasted potatoes with one of the finest goat cheese drizzled on top. You only get to have this once a year, so try it now before it’s too late.”

Watching other people eating it does make you want to try it as well. You look at Jungkook, and he already knows that you want some. Unable to say no to your puppy eyes, he gives in.

“One please.”

Jungkook takes out a few bills and gives it to the woman. She heads to the back and gives you and Jungkook one steaming hot potatoes wrapped in paper.

“Thank you very much!”

You two walk away from the standing, taking a bite out of the potato. Your eyes light up, the melted cheese filling your mouth with a flavor you’ve never had before. It isn’t sweet, but it isn’t too savory either, like perfectly in the middle. The starchiness of the potato isn’t overwhelming either, letting the cheesiness take lead and the potato to tie it together.

“Do you like it?”

You nod your head excitedly, taking a second bite. After the second bite, you stuff it into your mouth.

“Slow down or else you’ll choke. See? You have it all over your mouth now.”

He uses his thumb to wipe off the cheese from your lips. You blush when his face is inches away from you. Feeling shy, you look away, not yet used to being intimate with him.

“Thank you…”

With half of the potato left in your hand, Jungkook has yet to try some. You put the potato in between your face and his to get him to move back.

“Do you want some? You haven’t had dinner.”

“No thanks. I’ve had it enough to where I know what it tastes like.”

“You have?”

He nods. “When my mother and I used to live here, she would save enough so I can have one every year.”

“But you haven’t had it recently, have you?”

“Not since I was a child, no.”

You push it closer to his face. “Then have some. I’m sure it’ll taste different or remind you of your childhood.”

With your persistence, he can’t decline it again, so he takes a bite. Sure enough, it tastes just like when you had it long ago. They didn’t change the recipe even in the slightest, but there isn’t much to change when it’s mere cheese on a potato. He doesn’t even know if it’s actually from goat milk, but it’s still just as delicious as it was when he was a child.

Eating a cheaply-made street food that’s being sold for a rather high price, it truly felt like that was the only time when he got to be a real kid. Every day except for this time of the year, he and his mother worked hard to make money to survive. But it’s holidays like these when he got to beg to his mom about what he wanted, though it was mainly food.

“Good, right?”

“Yea,” Jungkook pauses. “Just like what I remembered.”

You give it to him to finish. He looks confused, but you simply grin. He probably wanted to eat it all anyway. You set your eyes on something else now, and it’s the people dancing in the town square. The dancing you know at home is different from here. While the dance you’re used to is individualized, Freesia’s dancing involves two people.

He catches on that you want to be a part of it. “Do you want to dance?”

“What?? I-it’s okay! I don’t even know how to dance.”

“I can show you.”

He takes you by the hand, taking you into the center of the square. Your head looks at all directions, worried that people will recognize you and him. To distract you from your trivial concerns, he puts his hand on your lower back and pulls you in to close the gap.

“They’re having too much fun to look at us, don’t worry.”

You look around, and he’s right. Everyone is so focused on themselves that they aren’t batting an eye at you two. Stuck in the crowd, you and Jungkook aren’t royalty, but ordinary people.

“How do I dance?”

“Put our hand on my shoulder, and give me your other hand.”

You rest your hand on his shoulder and give him your other hand. He intertwines his fingers with yours, putting his other hand on your waist.

“Just follow my steps.”

He takes one step to the side, so you look down to follow. You mimic every step he does, making sure that you don’t step on his feet. From afar, two partners dancing didn’t seem too bad, until you’re doing it. You’re so close to him that you can feel his breathing, and your waist is feeling ticklish.

“See? It isn’t so hard.”

“I guess it’s okay.”

“We were supposed to dance on my birthday, but we never got the chance, did we?”

You can’t forget about that day. He wasn’t happy on his birthday and wanted nothing to do with it.

You grin. “Well, now is our opportunity.”

You two continue dancing along with the music. Dancing with him feels like you’re walking on clouds. It felt like long ago when you couldn’t stand him. Now he’s all you ever think about. Separating from him seems impossible. You rest your head on his chest, catching him by surprise. It makes him blush, wondering what’s gotten into you.

“What happened? Did you fall sick again? Are you falling asleep?”

“No,” you laugh. “I was just thinking about something.”

“About what?”

“I don’t think I hate you anymore.”

Jungkook falls silent.

“It felt like a prison being here, and even though I wanted nothing to do with you, I ended up forcing myself on you, but I don’t regret that. I’m glad I kept bothering you because you’re not as bad as a person I thought you were.”

Words that should bring him joy doesn’t do anything for him. He looks gloomy like you weren’t supposed to say that. Your confession only entangles him more in his mixed emotions.

“Are you sure you don’t regret it?”

“What?”

“...Never mind. I just want to let you know that the feeling’s mutual. I don’t hate you, and I never did.”

This whole time, you thought that he hated you as much as you hated him. He never showed any signs that he cared about you, so it made you assume that you meant nothing to him.

From the corner of your eye, there’s a crowd forming. Couples stop dancing and follow the crowd. Even the music has stopped playing.

“What’s going on?”

“The last event must be starting.”

“Last event?”

The short-lived dance ends, and Jungkook follows the crowd with you closely behind. In one of the stands, there are bins filled with freesias. Your jaw drops at the sight of so many flowers. You look around, watching people pick one flower at a time and walking to a nearby river. Every one of them places a flower in the river, letting the flowers swim along with the flow of the river.

Jungkook picks one up for you and him to do the same thing that everybody else is doing. “Put this in the water. This is a blessing for the God of Spring.”

You make your way to the river that reflects the full moon in the water. With the flowers floating above, it almost makes it seem like the moon is wearing the flowers as accessories. You place the flower gently in the water, your fingers getting into contact with the freezing temperature of the river. You let it go, watching as it joins the hundreds of other flowers swaying away, never to be seen again.

“We send these freesias away in hopes that one of them turns out to be his lover. We don’t know if she’ll be there, but it’s tradition to welcome spring onto our land—to ask for forgiveness for taking away his loved one.”

This is a tale that you grew up with. This is how you knew Freesia Island by. But after witnessing the festival, the excitement, the gathering, it ends on a solemn note, never learning if the God of Spring will ever find his lover. This is all for a god who they don’t even know if he actually exists. Still, there’s that little motivation in you that you want to help him reunite with her.

But just like the myth with dragon fruits being actual dragon eggs, this story that you admired since childhood is just as bogus as that.

“Do you think sending all these flowers actually work?”

“Who knows, probably not. People are very idealistic beings, and if our imagination is what keeps us going, then so be it.”

You let his statement shimmer in your mind. It’s disappointing to hear him be realistic, but being an adult and seeing how cruel the world can be, it makes sense that childish fantasies such as the story of freesias help people move forward.

Jungkook holds onto your hand. You look at him, looking for an explanation for holding onto you, but he doesn’t give any reason. He just wanted to hold it for the sake of holding it.

“Tomorrow evening, let’s go back to your homeland.”

“Really?! So soon?? But...is it okay for us to leave…?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve already figured everything out. I’m sure you want to see your father, and he most likely wants to see you too.”

This is too soon—so soon that something doesn’t feel right. But he must’ve waited to tell you this until after you experienced the holiday that you’ve been dying to experience. You can’t describe how much you miss your father. You haven’t heard anything about him, so you can never say no to not going back home.

You squeeze his hand, about to shed tears but hold it back. “Thank you!”

If you said anything more than that, then you would’ve started crying. If there was one thing that Jungkook admired, it was that you weren’t afraid to express your emotions. He’s been described as someone who has the expressions of a stone, but your face is filled with so much life that he’s envious.

———

SPRING

“What? Are you sure?”

You and Jungkook are in the bedroom together. Your back is facing the balcony, and behind you is the sunsetting. You’re packing your clothes in a bag, and Jungkook is standing by the door when he announced some shocking news.

“Yea, I’ll catch up with you soon. There’s just something that I need to do.”

“Oh, okay.” It’s unusual that he waited until the last minute to tell you, but you decide that if it’s urgent, then you aren’t going to whine about it.

You grab your bags, walking to the front door, but you stand there, waiting for Jungkook to move aside. However, he doesn’t move at all. He stands there as if he doesn’t want you to leave. Then out of nowhere, he embraces you in his arms, hugging you so tight that you almost can’t breathe.

“Jungkook?!”

“Tell your father that I’m sorry for taking you away.”

It’s odd...almost as if it’s farewell. You wrap your arms around him, just in case he needed the comfort.

“Of course I will, but wouldn’t it be better if you said it yourself? I promise you my dad won’t kill you as long as you explain everything.”

But he doesn’t respond immediately. Instead, he pulls himself back, giving you an unfamiliar yet warm smile. You’ve never seen it before, but seeing him like this, you know your chest should be pounding, but you feel a little anxious about this.

“I think it’s better if you said it.”

He cups your cheeks, leaning in for a kiss. It catches you by surprise, since you two haven’t kissed since the wedding. Unlike the first time, this one felt more full and longer. Rather than taking away something, it feels like he’s giving something to you, redoing the mistakes he did in the past.

He drags his head back, moving in for another one, and this time, you prepare yourself for it, closing your eyes. However, he refrains from a second attempt, otherwise, he definitely won’t let you go. He removes his hands from you, moving out of the way.

“You should hurry.”

You wave goodbye to Jungkook. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

He nods, gazing at you as you walk out of the room. That short interaction felt extremely strange, but you tell yourself that it might just be you.

Once you’re gone, he sits on the bed, sighing. “You can come out now.”

———

You’re in the carriage, going down the road. When you peer through the window, the town folks would stop whatever they’re doing and point at you. It’s unnerving being in town without Jungkook, but you try not to think too much about it.

Once again, you wanted to see the spring flowers, but when you’re deep at the heart of the city, the buildings block the view of the fields. It looks exactly identical to when you first came here. The only difference is that Jungkook isn’t here. It makes you question what it is that’s so important that he’ll catch up with you later? Going back to Pitaya Island felt rushed, and he has yet to give you a proper explanation as to why he wants to go suddenly.

When you arrive at the seaport, there are men already ready for departure. The ship is rather small, but it’s still big enough to carry at least fifteen people. The carriage stops right by the pier, and the driver helps you out. You keep looking back, hoping that Jungkook would appear any minute now, but each time you do, he’s not there.

“Your Highness, hurry up and get on board.”

“Oh, yea.”

You get on the ramp, constantly looking back to make sure that he’ll be there. Once you’re on, you lean over the ledge, checking if you see his carriage coming down the hill. However, you don’t see him anywhere in town.

Sighing with uneasiness, you rest your chin on the boat’s rails as the crew is getting the ship ready for sailing. Your necklace jingles, so you pick it up, pinching it between your fingers. You rub it, pondering what your parents’ marriage was like before you came along. It seemed like they got along, but you wonder about those days when they get into arguments. They must’ve been tired of each other multiple times, and yet, they choose to stay together.

You think about the kiss from earlier. It felt strange to receive one, especially with how conservative Jungkook is. You two hardly hold each other, and it’s only recently when you both became comfortable with it, like two teenagers on their first date. But thinking later into the years, will you two be happy? Jungkook can easily marry another woman if he gets tired of you, and you hate that thought...more than dying with him at his funeral.

Resting on your cheek, you notice that into the distance in the ocean, there are objects floating in it. You squint your eyes, but you still can’t make out what you see. You tug on the sleeve of a nearby man.

“Excuse me, what’s that?” You point.

“Oh, those are all the freesias that the townsfolk tossed into the ocean. It’s for some sort of tradition, I don’t know, I’m not from here.”

That’s where the flowers end up? You knew that they don’t actually go to the God of Spring, but seeing the aftermath of the beautiful flower event, it’s a shame to see that that’s where they stay. Behind a heart-tugging tale ends with trash in the water, opening your eyes to the real world that stories don’t exist, but merely an idea by people’s wild imaginations.

“Do you know what that tradition is?”

“Something about lost lovers? I dunno. I don’t believe in it.”

“Why not?”

“I mean, look at the water. Do you actually think that a god fell in love with a flower? One of my old captains told me that the reason why this story has been passed down is so that women can stay loyal to their husbands. ‘Men are naturally born physically strong but break his pride and he has nothing left. Women are born with emotional intelligence and exist to please them, and in exchange, they protect you.’ It’s a lesson to teach women to stay loyal to their husbands.”

You’ve never heard of this interpretation before, and quite frankly, it’s very shattering to hear. A story that you grew up listening to ends up being a warning for males and females to stick together. It’s ridiculous, but it makes sense, why you went through that harsh training on becoming a proper woman’.

But when you look back in the past with what you and Jungkook have done together, it doesn’t feel like how the man explains it. You two don’t serve each other in that way—it feels neutral, feeding off of each other’s energy when necessary. If one is in danger, then the other is there to help. Despite being king, he doesn’t follow the tradition very well. Why is that?

“I never intended on becoming king...I just wanted to protect the person who I treasured the most.”

“I’ll fix things now so it won't have to be like this anymore.”

“Tell your father that I’m sorry for taking you away.”

How could I have been so stupid?! The bell rings, signaling for the ship to set sail. But just like the bells ringing, your own bell rings in you, an epiphany happening too late. You sprint across the boat and right for the ramp. The men are just about to take it off when you stop them.

“Wait, wait, wait, don’t leave yet!”

“What?”

“There’s something I have to do!”

“Is there something that you forgot, Your Highness? If so, then we can get it for you—”

“No! No, I have to do it on my own. So please…”

“As we said, we can—”

But having no patience to deal with them, you jump off the boat, landing on the ramp. You lose your footing, causing you to roll down until you land on the pier. The people around you are in utter shock to witness you fumbling down carelessly, but that is the least of your worries. You get back on your feet, chasing after the carriage that brought you here.

He was so subtle about it, but he kept dropping hints that took you up until now to know what they meant. You made it clear to him countless times that you were homesick, but you did it so much that it overshadowed how much he means to you. He must’ve thought he’s only brought misery to you, which is why he tried sending you back without ever seeing you again. But you have to hurry up back, let him know the truth.

———

“You don’t have to hide anymore. You can come out now.”

Back in the castle, Taehyung shows himself from the balcony, hands behind his back and a smirk drawn on his face. “That was very touching of you to send her off before the inevitable.”

“What do you want?” Ignoring his statement, Jungkook cuts to the chase.

“I’m surprised it took this long for you to find me. I guess it shows how well I know the castle more than you. If you had never captured one of my men, then you probably wouldn’t have found me.”

“But I still did in the end,” Jungkook places his hand on the hilt of his sword. “Tell me, what was the purpose of kidnapping (Y/N)?”

“I’m trying to get rid of you, but that’s what you’re thinking about? That girl?”

“Answer me.”

Taehyung’s joking tone goes away, and his smile disappears. “I’m taking back what’s mine.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“Your father took everything away from me. My parents, my future, my lineage, my land.”

That’s when Jungkook realizes who Taehyung is. “You’re the former king’s son.”

Taehyung nods. “I was the only one who survived when your father took over the castle. My mother snuck me into a secret passage, and that’s how I managed to escape. I lived most of my life being a street rat, doing whatever I could to survive on my own. Then when I heard the news that you, also a wretched rat, was crowned as prince, it made my blood boil.”

He draws out his sword and points it to Jungkook.

“That’s when I decided to take matters into my hands and take my father’s land back. As for (Y/N), I merely used her so that she could pass on information about you, see if I can find a weak point.”

“And you repaid her by kidnapping her??”

“No, you see, my original deal was that she help me, and in return, I would send her back home. However, it took me a while to realize this, but this whole time, she is your weakness. You would do anything for her as long as she’s there.”

He’s not wrong. Jungkook has grown a soft spot for you, and you mean the whole world to him. And that’s why he let you go. He can’t bear to see you hurt any longer.

“...Take back the land. I don’t care.”

This completely catches Taehyung off guard. He wasn’t expecting Jungkook to give it up so easily.

“That’s it…? You don’t want to try fighting back?”

“I never cared about this land. You’ve seen the bad side, haven’t you? No matter what I do, it’ll never satisfy everyone. Catering to this land and the many other territories that my father conquered is overbearing. I had more freedom when I was a scum of the streets than living this life of elegance. You can take it.”

“No!” Taehyung’s voice echoes through the walls of the bedroom. “Have you no sense of dignity?! Are you really not going to fight?? What about your pride??”

“...I lost it a year ago after I became the king. I’m just like you, losing everything I loved the most. I don’t even know who I am or what my purpose is anymore.”

He thinks about your smile, when he looks down and sees you round eyes staring back at him. He isolated himself for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to talk to someone, to break free from the title as a king. For once, he wanted to forget his reputation and just be your husband.

Taehyung lunges toward Jungkook, nearly piercing his shoulder with his blade. Instead, the tip of his sword sinks into Jungkook’s skin, blood being soaked in blood. Despite that, Jungkook doesn’t flinch.

“If it gets you to fight, then how about this: if I win, then I’m going to find Pitaya Island and marry (Y/N).”

Jungkook wrinkles his eyebrows, and this starts to play in Taehyung’s hands. He smirks, finally getting a reaction from him.

“I don’t know if you know this, but (Y/N) and I have great chemistry. She and I got along pretty well when you didn’t have a single clue. We both had something taken away by you and your father, so that was how we related. So maybe after the wedding, we can—”

Within seconds, Jungkook is quick to draw out his sword, clashing with Taehyung’s sword, pulling the tip out of his shoulder. Caught by surprise, Taehyung was so focused on monologuing that he wasn’t focusing.

“I knew it! She really does push and pull you around!”

“She has nothing to do with this. Leave her out of it.”

“You really are hopeless.”

Taehyung makes the first move, dashing toward him, but Jungkook’s blade collides with his before he can land a strike on him. They swing their swords, with Taehyung taking the offense and Jungkook on defense. Sparks fly from the amount of strength the two men are using. But no matter how noisy they are, the bedroom is too big and far away from the rest of the castle, so no one can hear them clash.

However, Taehyung is no match for Jungkook. His strength outweighs his, pushing Taehyung out onto the balcony. His back leans on the railings, holding him back before he could fall. With one final blow, Taehyung deflects it in time, his arms shaking as he struggles to fight against Jungkook’s force.

“Your father took everything away from me. I can’t die now…” he pushes back. “...And the worst part is that he died before I can lay a hand on him. But at least I have you.”

“What…?”

Suddenly, you burst through the doors, interrupting the suspense of their battle. “Jungkook!”

Your voice alerts Jungkook, making him turn around and surprised to see you. “(Y/N)?!”

Playing right in Taehyung’s hands, he grabs Jungkook by the collar. When he returns the look back at him, Taehyung smirks.

“You’re not allowed to be happy.”

Taehyung lets go of everything, falling backward and pulling Jungkook in the process. They both lose their footing, tipping over the railings. Without much thought, you sprint across the room in hopes that you can save them.

Miraculously, you manage to grab ahold of Jungkook’s hand as he dangles over the edge. You press your hand on the rails, helping you keep steady with your balance. When you look down, you notice that Taehyung is holding Jungkook by the ankle. Thankfully for your strength, you are barely able to hold both men.

“What are you doing?! Just let go, you’re going to fall with us.”

“No! Just grab onto the ledge.”

“Why are you being stubborn? Just let go!”

“I said no!! I don’t want to let go! Hurry up, I can’t hold for much longer.” You clench your jaw.

But Jungkook can only stare in confusion. “Why are you going so far for me…? I thought you hated me.”

“Because...because you promised that we will go back to my home together!”

Jungkook’s eyes widen.

“Please, don’t give up yet. I want you to talk to my father and let him know how much you changed,” you smile, but the tips of your lips twitch. “I know he won’t believe me if I’m the one to tell him.”

Just that glimpse of your smile, it gave him all the determination to keep going. If it means to see you happy again, then he’ll stay alive for you, as he now made the revelation that you value him as much as he values you.

He grabs the rails, lifting him and Taehyung up as you help pull them. The two men are able to climb over and safely get back to the other side. You breathe heavily, trying to catch the air that you lost. Soon after, you embrace Jungkook in your arms, relieved that he’s okay. This catches him by surprise, unsure if he should return the hug to you.

“Are you hurt?!”

“N-no, but...why did you come back?”

“Why are you asking me that? You think I wouldn’t notice? It almost worked, but I’m glad I realized just in time.”

“Are you stupid?!” Taehyung shouts as he stands. “Why would you go back to this good-for-nothing of a king?! You rather put your faith in him—a man who doesn’t even care about his nation?!”

“Shut up!”

You’ve been wanting to say that for a long time, and now you don’t have the patience to be dealing with him. You came here to make sure that Jungkook is alright, not to hear Taehyung lecture you for a second time. But he won’t take it from you. His vision turns red with fury, not understanding why you’re siding with a villain.

“He’s the one who took you away and made your life miserable, and you treat him like he’s your savior?!”

“I know! But…”

“He didn’t marry you because he loves you. He did it because he saw you as a profit. He knew about the tradition for concubines dying with their husbands, and he married you because he thought that he was never going to be in love with a barbarian such as yourself. Can you still embrace him knowing that?”

You look at Jungkook for an answer, but he averts his eyes. His refusal to make a counterargument is proof that what Taehyung’s saying is true. Jungkook can’t bear to look at you, even though he was the one who made the choices.

Instead of pushing him away, you caress his cheek and turn his head to face you. “That’s what he thought in the beginning, but I know he’s changed. As much as I can hold a grudge for the past, it won’t help push me forward.”

The soft gaze you give him, it gives Jungkook reassurance that you won’t turn him down. It’s the sort of comfort that he knows that he can let his guard loose.

“I hated Jungkook in the past who took me away by force and left me isolated...but the one who’s trying to do everything he can just for my sake, that’s the one who I fell in love with. If he wanted me to die with him, then he wouldn’t have to sneak me away on a boat, would he?” You smile.

Hearing your confession, it was like his chest has been squeezed to where it’s dry of blood. He thought his mother was the only person he could trust, little did he know that reaching out just a little would change the course of his life forever. Outside of his small world of torment and loneliness, he reached out, and you grabbed him.

He bursts into tears, his bottom lip quivering as he sobs like a toddler. Losing his mother was like the end of the world, and it felt like he died along with her. He would have never thought that you would end up being the one who radiates life in him again. Watching Jungkook break down into pieces, the animosity that Taehyung has been building for years disappears within seconds. It wasn’t that Jungkook is a stone-cold man, but a broken person who wasn’t allowed to share his wallows with his own kingdom.

“I don’t want to be king. I never asked for it. I just...want to be with you.” He whimpers.

You couldn’t agree better. Underneath the paradise, he was silently screaming inside.

“Your Majesty! Where are you?!”

“Hurry! Check on the king!”

The many voices coming from the staircase rushes to the room. Unbeknownst to them, servants have seen Jungkook and Taehyung hanging over the ledge and are now rushing to aid them. Not only that but with you dashing through the castle, it only makes them more worried.

Jungkook wipes his eyes, making a decision that will dramatically change his life once again. He takes his sword, raising it over Taehyung. He swings it down, but rather than slicing him, he stops the sword centimeters away from his shoulder. He then repeats that process to the other shoulder. Once that’s done, he drops the sword.

“From here on out, you are now the King of Freesia. I no longer have power over the land, and you have successfully returned the kingdom back to your family line.”

“Wh-what? What about you?”

“It was never my intention to become king and did it because I thought there was no way out. But, after meeting you, you have the best interest in the land, more than I do. I can entrust that you’ll make it a better place, not one ruled by a tyrant. As far as anyone knows, the story will be that you have slain me. Heartbroken by my death, (Y/N) has ended her own. We no longer exist.”

It’s a shocking idea, but to avoid having people search for you and him, it’s better that people don’t know that you two are still alive.

“...Very well. There’s a secret passage by the balcony. Open it, and there will be a path that’ll lead you to the town and to the pier.”

Jungkook puts on a cloak and puts it on you as well. The two of you run to the balcony, pressing on the walls until there’s a loose concrete brick. Just as Taehyung claims, a door opens.

Before leaving, you and Jungkook look at him one last time.

“Thank you…” You say.

“I didn’t really do much. Now hurry before they find you.”

You and Jungkook run through the secret tunnels with Taehyung closing the door. From behind, you can hear the echoes of the maids screaming, presumably at the surprise of seeing Taehyung. However, you continue looking forward, hand in hand with Jungkook. You two stick close with each other, liberated from the chains that had bound you and him.

———

SUMMER

Jungkook crouches in front of your mother’s grave, his arms on his knees. There are no words shared, the only thing speaking is the wind blowing. He’s wearing a lighter layer of clothing, sweating profusely but doesn’t seem to mind.

Looking down from the cliff, he could see your village, going on with their daily lives. The people look like ants from this distance, but no matter how far, he can hear them shout.

“I haven’t done this in a while, but uhm…hello. You’re (Y/N)’s mother. She talks about you a lot, probably because she misses you. I’m her husband...and well, your husband doesn’t like me, which is unsurprising. But I found it a lot harder to talk to you than to confront her father. I’ve done things to your daughter that I deeply regret. I guess based on the stories that she’s told me, you’re a saint, and I feel like I have wronged you in a way. I don’t forgive myself for what I’ve done, but (Y/N) has taught me that it’s better to not forget about what I’ve done so I can look back and make sure I don’t do it again in the future.”

Jungkook gets on his knees and bows down to the grave.

“And I promise you that from now on, I’m going to treat her better. I’ll prove to myself that you can trust me with your daughter.”

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?”

He turns around and sees you walking up the hill. “Nothing much.”

“Come down, we have some fruits we want you to try. I think you’ll like these ones more.”

He gets up, and you tilt your head curiously.

“What’s up?”

“Your hair’s getting longer.” You extend your hair out, pinching a strand.

“Oh,” Jungkook brushes his hand through his hair. “Should I cut it?”

You chuckle. “I like it messy and long. Better than short and clean-cut.”

He grins, wrapping his arms around you, kissing you on the side of the head. He looks back at the grave one more time, and hanging on the grave is your black pearl necklace, swaying with the wind and reflecting the sunlight back to you and him, almost like receiving a blessing.

[End]

A/N: AHhhh I can’t believe it took me two months lol. This story was really hard to write and I was stuck multiple times trying to figure out how to end this. :( But I’m glad it finally ended and I really hope that you all enjoy it!! ^^

@rossemayme I promised to tag you and I haven’t forgotten!

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paintedwithapalette · 4 years

Text

So, I got back this absolutely amazing commission from @pun-riii to fit with a scene from chapter 11 of my Memories of You fanfic! So, here it is. Hope you all enjoy!

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Memories of You: The Balcony

Word Count: 2, 592

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Roxas figured some fresh air would do him some good and he returned to the balcony Paine dragged him to earlier, resting his arms against the white wooden railing. With his mind finally clear, he was able to admire the stars speckling against a dark midnight blue backdrop. His mother always taught him about the existence of another side where hearts go after they pass on from the land of the living. The idea was appealing as a child but as he grew older, he began to question it. Did an afterlife truly exist? Was there a chance his father was looking down at them with a proud smile? He didn't have anything to go off of other than his mother's word that he would understand someday, but it was beginning to feel like a fairy tale designed to keep traumatized children from succumbing to despair.

Roxas dug into his pocket and salvaged the balled up card Rufus originally gave him earlier. After wrinkling his eyebrows, he ripped the card into two and carelessly tossed the severed pieces into the air, watching the evening breeze carry it through the night.

"Roxas?"

Naminé stood by the door frame behind him with her head giving a slight tilt. She was still wearing those ridiculous shades.

"Sorry," Roxas apologized, putting on a friendlier demeanor. "I just needed some air. I should have told you."

Naminé leaned against the railing along with him. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine. Just needed some time to think."

"About what?"

"About what I'm going to do with my life," Roxas answered rather quickly. "About where I belong or what I'm supposed to do. I've had all this pressure and expectations put on me and I'm not sure how to handle it."

"Sounds pretty deep. For you, anyway."

"Thank—hey, wait. What do you mean, for me?"

Naminé let out a delicate giggle into her closed fist. She could see his smile through the tint of her sunglasses. His company was always so pleasant. She couldn’t remember the last time she could bear being in the same room with another soul outside of her immediate family for more than five minutes without feeling a crippling urge to drop dead on the spot. To think that she nearly wouldn’t have experienced this moment with him if it hadn't been for her father dragging her to this surprisingly eventful dinner party in the first place. The thought brought a frown to her lips.

Roxas didn’t fail to notice it. "What's wrong?"

"I... have a confession to make."

He crossed his arms. "What is it? You can tell me."

"I, um... I didn't really come here because I wanted to," she painfully admitted. "Not at first, anyway. I mean, I'm glad I came because it turned out to be really fun, but... I was originally planning on not showing up, even after Kairi tried talking me into it. I’m only here because my dad forced me to come because I guess he wants to keep an eye on me." She lowered her head in shame. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad?" Roxas asked with an airy chuckle.

Finding his reaction unexpected, Naminé blinked. "Well, I'm not here because it was my decision, like you said it should be. I-I mean... it's not like I came because I'm a good friend or because I'm making a real effort to come out of my shell. I didn't have a choice in the first place, and if I did, it wouldn't have resulted in me being here with you right now.”

"But you are here. That's what matters in the end, right?"

"But I—"

"Listen," Roxas interrupted gently. "Whether you wanted to come or not, you still did. You still went through the trouble of finding something to wear. You still walked through those doors. You even let me introduce you to my friends. You didn't have to do any of that, but you did. That has to count for something." He smiled. "Whether you realize it or not, you're trying. That's all that matters to me."

Naminé felt her lips part momentarily before turning her head to downplay the shy smile growing against her own will. "You're so mushy."

Roxas chuckled. "Yeah, I’ve heard it from Xion more than once."

Naminé still couldn’t inwardly deny a fragment of guilt lingering in the back of her mind. She wished she had the resolve to face her fears and take the initiative in the first place without her father’s demands being the main catalyst for her attendance. If anything, she could do it for Roxas. In the short amount of time they’ve known each other, he’s been such a good friend to her. Naminé tried to convince herself that taking this step was for her own sake, but she wanted to take his feelings into account as well. Seeing that look of the purest form of joy glowing in his eyes when he first saw her earlier that evening was something she was glad she didn't miss out on. She promised herself she would make it up to him, even if he didn't feel like she needed to. For their next outing, and yes, there would be a next, she would go of her own volition. Not because anyone told her to go. But because he was her friend and he deserved it.

"You’re sweet, Roxas."

Roxas couldn’t tear his eyes away from her smile. And oh, what a pretty smile it was. It would only be prettier if he could see the eyes designed to complement it. "Naminé, why are you still wearing those?"

Her smile faltered. "I told you before—I can't handle eye contact."

"Not even right now?" he asked, closing the small distance between them. "Not even with me?"

Naminé pressed her lips together. There was something about wearing the shades that made her feel more secure. It made her interactions with others more impersonal. "What difference would it make?"

"More than you might think.” Roxas scratched his cheek. “I just kinda want to see you. Those shades make me feel like there's a wall between us. You shouldn't have to hide behind these. You don't need them."

"B-But I do," she argued. "I get so nervous when people look at me, like if I'm looking at their eyes in the wrong way or they get the wrong idea or if I'm staring at people for an uncomfortable amount of time, people don't have to know what I'm looking at and—and—"

"Naminé," Roxas said, effectively cutting her rambling short as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Trust me."

Naminé felt her lips quivering before she let out a deep sigh. She knew she was making excuses. He was right. It shouldn't have been a big deal. Besides, it was Roxas. She didn't have much trouble looking him in the eyes anymore. As long as it was someone like him or Kairi, she could live with it.

"So, is it okay if I take these off?" he asked.

Naminé nodded reluctantly. Roxas held the sides of her sunglasses and pulled them from her ears tenderly. Her eyes fluttered open; soft blue with the stars ornamenting sparkles into their reflection. It was the first time he saw her eyes the entire night and the first word that came to his mind was...

Breathtaking.

In the corners of his mind, Roxas always found Naminé attractive even when he first laid eyes on her. But this was the first time he had seen her dolled up, her soft features highlighted to near perfection. His eyes trailed to her lips that were parted slightly—he gulped. He had a dangerous, crazy thought involving his own lips he would not allow himself to act on. Quite frankly, he wasn't sure where it came from, but he blamed it on his dumb teenage boy hormones. Roxas cleared his throat before she could get nervous at his staring.

"See? You don't need these," he said, placing the sunglasses into his back pocket.

Despite his encouragement, Naminé couldn’t resist the urge to squirm under his gaze. Sure, she had looked him in his eyes before, but not under a circumstance like this. With her eyes exposed, it brought about a sense of vulnerability she wasn’t accustomed to. If eyes truly were windows to the soul, then Roxas was getting a peak at hers. Just the thought of that made her rip her eyes away from his. What if he didn’t like what he saw?

"Hey, Naminé..." Roxas said softly. The way her name rolled off his lips was starting to make Naminé weak in the knees.

"Y-Yes?"

However, any potential butterflies in her stomach fueled by anticipation were thrown out the window with his next words.

"Staring contest!"

"H-Huh?!"

Roxas grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look up at him. Her wide, confused eyes were locked with his intense, focused ones. Neither moved for a solid five minutes. Or at least, Naminé felt like it was five minutes. Despite not knowing what was going on or where this came from, she suddenly caught wind of the competitive bug and didn’t want to lose. She returned his stare with an equal amount of intensity, refusing to back down from his challenge. A third spectator might have thought they were furious at each other.

The contest proved difficult for Naminé. Roxas wouldn't budge, not even so much as a wince. She felt her eyes threatening to leak and clenched her teeth after what felt like an eternity of staring. But she couldn't lose. She wanted another excuse to rub something in his face.

Then he blew into her eyes, practically forcing her into a rapid sequence of blinks.

"I win!"

Naminé continued to blink if only to moisturize her dried up eyes while Roxas laughed at her expense. It was bad enough she was wearing contacts. Did he really need to blow into them? "You cheater!"

"I never said you couldn't sabotage your opponent," Roxas said cheekily.

"Wow. Thanks for letting me know, jerk."

"But hey, you see? Eye contact isn't so bad."

“Okay, but there's a difference between managing eye contact and an actual staring contest."

But for some reason, it did help. She was making eye contact with him without an issue. It was easier when there was something so silly and weird to break the ice. That must have been his plan the whole time. The rascal.

“Still, it’s not like I can just walk up to a stranger and force them into a random staring contest if I want to break the ice,” Naminé challenged.

“Hey, you never know.” Roxas shrugged, making Naminé send an unconvinced gaze. “Kidding. It’ll get easier with time, though,” he assured. “Maybe with some practice.”

She sighed. "That's what they always say. It just stinks when practice involves putting yourself into situations you're not comfortable with."

“Well, are you comfortable now?”

Naminé replaced her frown with a soft smile. “Well, sure. I’m with you, aren’t I?”

“Then that’s good enough.”

They descended into a gentle silence, their eyes bound to the night sky. Naminé came to an epiphany. Their conversation dwindled and somehow it wasn’t awkward in the slightest. What madness was this? Weren’t long pauses supposed to be uncomfortable and inelegant? Was there not an unspoken expectation to fill the silence and alleviate the tension on both sides? Yet there she was in the company of another human being partaking in a peaceful lull that made her feel the furthest thing from tense. In fact she felt, dare she say, relaxed?

The pleasant scenery surely helped. While far from turbulent, Destiny Islands was noticeably more animated during the daytime. But the night allowed for the evening lanterns to come alive and highlight the town’s fine points with its tropical aesthetic. The darkened sea engulfed the majority of the horizon and in the short distance sat a tiny island Naminé had never been to before. The sight had to be out of a fairy tale novel.

"This place really is beautiful," Naminé said, filling the silence as she clasped her hands together. Not because she was uncomfortable. Just because she felt like it.

"It is," Roxas agreed, leaning on the railing while turning to face her with a grin.

Though, the sky wasn’t the only thing he found alluring that night. Naminé truly was more beautiful than even he had anticipated. Something about the way her eyes captured a soft volume of contentment tugged at something inside him. The way her hair was tied up in a bun with loose strands framing her porcelain face. The way her dress highlighted her slender figure that wasn't without subtle but very visible curves. She was always cute, but this was different.

Should he have admitted his attraction to her? It wasn't always easy to predict how Naminé would react to things. Everything seemed to have a half-and-half probability. With a compliment, he could see her taking the praise and thinking nothing of it just as much as he could see her rejecting his opinion and finding it too overwhelming and embarrassing to be true. But transparency was something Naminé needed to become more acquainted with.

There was also the implication. Would she perceive it as some sort of confession? Roxas wasn't sure if he viewed Naminé in that way. Did he really like Naminé in the way Axel suggested? He sincerely didn't think so before, but now—having her there, to see her trying to put in more of an effort, and the fact that her inner and external beauty was becoming more evident...

He wasn't sure.

"Is everything okay?" Naminé asked, her voice returning him to the present.

"Oh, yeah," Roxas said, mulling on his next words. "It's just—I think you look really beautiful tonight. I, uh... thought I'd let you know."

While the blush was imminent, she took it better than he expected. She didn't flail her arms around like a manic and she didn't have a nervous breakdown. She only stared at him in momentary surprise before the ends of her lips offered him the slightest of curls. "Th-Thank you, Roxas." She gulped. "I-I was... thinking the same thing about you."

He raised a brow. "That I look beautiful? I mean, I'm flattered and all, but—"

"No, goofball," she said, replacing her smile with a pout. He was just trying to pull the proper words out of her and she knew it. "You l-look... good.”

“Good?”

“Um... h-h-handsome?" That was the correct word, right?

Roxas snickered. He could never get tired of watching her twist and turn with discomfort. "Just tell me you love me already, why don't you?"

"I take it back..."

"Oh, come on! I'm joking."

"Can't you go five seconds without teasing me?"

"What kind of a question is that? I can't even go three seconds."

"There's something we agree on."

"Fine," Roxas groaned. "I'll take you out for mint chocolate chip ice cream to make up for it, Ms. Killjoy. Take a joke, would you?"

"I most certainly can take a joke! Excuse me for thinking we were having a moment."

“So, you were wanting us to have a moment?”

“Th-That’s not the point!”

“Except it totally is.”

“Shut up.”

While they bantered, Xion, who was about to go check on Roxas herself, stood around the corner listening to the echoes of their laughter.

#namine #roxas #rokunami #kh fanfiction #kh commissions #punrii #kingdom hearts #commisionwork

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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I’m very stressed and sad tonight and the thought of Bill wrapping his arms around Tiger as she tirelessly works. Her eyes hurt from being open, he can see it on her face, and she tries fighting it until she just falls into his embrace. He lifts her up to snuggle in bed but she has trouble asking for him to just wreck her. She paws at him and whimpers, trying to get him to realize she needs it.

I see you baby, I do. And god, I need this so badly too.

The thing with this weird time is there are a lot of people trying to keep business as usual when business is anything but usual. As a lucky one who kept her job (for now), I can tell you--I love my job, but this is a lot. I worked a ton anyway, but we’re operating with 30% of the staff we used to, when the workload increased by about 200%. And all that aside, there’s also not adequate attention being paid--for anyone, really--to the mental aspect this all has. What if you have elderly or at-risk parents, siblings? What if you’re part of the risk group? What if home is not a safe place for you to be, and suddenly you’ve been stuck there for 7 weeks?

Even if you hit the proverbial jackpot and you don’t have any major stressors--you’re not at risk, your family is healthy, your home life is okay. That’s still 7 weeks so far that you are robbed of your social network. 7 weeks that you can’t see your friends, can’t hug people, can’t see your family. And these things seem trivial, but to someone who puts a huge emphasis on them--man, it’s a major thing. We are all dealing with so much, no matter where on that spectrum you fall, and it has a huge impact on our attention span, our ability to concentrate, our ability to be productive. How we are being expected to carry out even the most usual of tasks at full capacity is beyond me, because as humans, ain’t none of us operating at even like 60% right now. Mentally, physically, emotionally--whatever.

And tiger has had a lot with work, sure. But this time, it’s...it’s something more. Bill knows his girl, he knows her tough shell exterior but also knows that it’s ultimately because she’s so sensitive. She has a hard time with chaos, with uncertainty, with this constant influx of pain and heightened emotion and stress and anger and anxiety that she seems to feel from the entire world. She absorbs all of it, whether she realizes it or not, and she’s so susceptible to energies that Bill always has to be careful, do a little vibe check before he goes to get her for something, because if he’s uptight or worried then she’s going to take that on too and he doesn’t want that.

And I just...gah, I low key love this. Because sometimes tiger just needs the snuggles--Jesus sometimes she’ll push him away, and get angry. Snap that she just needs to finish this if he could stop being so overbearing about it all. But Bill knows she’s nearing her breaking point when she just...stops fighting. And it always breaks his heart a bit, because tiger is fiery. She’s hell on wheels, she’s feisty and always angry and he loves her fire. So when all of it leaves her--when she just has no more fight in her--it always makes him a little sad, and a whole lot worried, because it means she’s breaking. But on the other hand, he’s always a little...relieved, too. Because it means she’ll finally let him in a bit more, and he can care for her the way she needs it.

There’s always lots of snuggles. When she breaks, she just wants his touch--because it’s reassuring. It’s comfort in its purest form, and she just curls into him and doesn’t leave his side. And Good Dude Bill--y’know, Bill always offers it up. Because snuggling is great but sometimes tiger needs something more meaningful, something a little deeper (no pun intended), a little closer. And he’ll be soft about it, it’ll be slow and god almost tantric, man sometimes he even has a way of checking if she wants more by like, non-verbal cues. My mind needs a moment for that one, because it’s so sweet. Sometimes he’ll ask outright, and she’ll answer. But sometimes too, sometimes maybe he’ll trail a finger along her collarbones, a little further down her sternum, and his eyes will flick to hers. Searching, gauging. Sometimes she’ll just curl into his chest more--and that’s a no, she doesn’t need more, she just wants...this. But sometimes she’ll chew her bottom lip, her eyes all wide, and she’ll flit her gaze to his. She has trouble holding his stare, but she tries--and that’s a yes. That’s a yes, please, and Bill is taking care of it.

And if she needs something soft, that’s great. But you know what the thing about such a strong, constant influx of emotions is?

It actually makes you numb.

We’ve all been there, right? You feel, you feel so much, you feel too much, and eventually in a last ditch effort of self-preservation--your brain shuts off. Walks away. Makes you numb, apathetic, you literally just don’t feel anything anymore. You can’t. And a lot of people turn to some form of pain when that happens, whatever that looks like for you. It might be drugs. It might be alcohol. it might be rage. I know for me, it was actual...physical pain. Physical pain, being hurt, made me feel something again, and man it was a rush. I did dangerous things that I won’t mention because they’re triggering, but I can mention that fighting and martial arts still gives me that high that I need when I go numb. Punching things that punch back even harder--that pain broke through to me, and it’s a rush every time.

In any case, sometimes when tiger’s numb she needs...that. She needs something a little rougher, she needs Bill to just really let loose. Ravish her, destroy her, turn her into a crying, gasping, oversensitive heap to the point where she can’t even speak anymore. But for someone who is numb, who is just so over everything, that’s a really hard thing to ask for, isn’t it? Tiger can’t even tell him when she’s hungry or when she wants a hug, so she probably has a hell of a time letting it slip that she wants him to fuck her senseless until she almost uses her safe word.

But look, she can give him enough of a confirmation that when he brushes his thumb across her lips softly, when he kisses that sweet spot on her neck--she can let him know that yep, she wants more. She needs it. I just think it might all kind of almost go to shit from there, because Bill is being so gentle, so slow, trying to really prolong it for her--and that’s not at all what tiger needs.

She probably gets a little frantic about it, whines a bit. Bill’s used to it, she always gives a little whine when she needs it real bad, so he doesn’t pay it too much attention. But tiger is steadfastly working herself into a bit of a meltdown, because she’s not getting what she needs and it’s not at all Bill’s fault because he doesn’t know that she needs something else.

But then she starts clawing at him, starts being a little more panicked in her movements--digging her nails into his back and he grits his teeth as she rakes them down, but then she....sobs. She lets go a loud, choking sob as she hooks a leg tighter around him, tries to pull him forward and crush him into her, and she’s starting to wheeze.

“Alright easy kid,” he says calmly--always so calm, because tiger definitely isn’t.

“No more?” he asks, stilling his movements, “Do you want to stop?”

But that’s like, way worse. And tiger gets even more frantic, starts to thrash and buck her hips up, her fists grabbing at the sheets. Bill clues in that maybe she wants the opposite.

“Rougher?” he tries, and tiger doesn’t nod but she does settle. He places a big hand on her throat, presses down just a tad, and Jesus--tiger melts. Just goes absolutely fucking boneless on the mattress. Bullseye.

“Tiger,” he snaps, and she closes her eyes in relief at the stern tone, “Harder?”

She sighs deeply, and Bill knows she’s already starting to float. She lets go the faintest nod, pushing her throat up more into his hand for pressure, and grabs for him again. He gets it, he won’t make her say it or ask for it.

But Jesus, does he ruin her. And he doesn’t stop until she’s crying, until she’s just a twitching mess beneath him, covered in sweat and come. Tiger won’t safe word when she’s like this because in all reality she’s not in her right mind, and she has no idea when her body's had enough and can’t take it anymore--so Bill has to keep a real watchful eye over her, and he has to be the one to end their night when he judges that she can’t take anymore. She can’t even speak, she can barely move, and Bill is just...man, Good Dude Bill is exhausted. He learned awhile ago that tiger gets really physically sensitive after a night like that, and a bath or shower would feel like fire on her skin even if it was cool. So he takes his time, talks her down from it, waits until she’s breathing at least a little normally. He’ll pick her up gently and bring her to the bathroom to get a washcloth, because she can’t handle any distance when she’s like this either.

I kind of love this visual too that maybe he sits her up in bed, scoots behind her so she can lean her back on his chest, and just gently swipes the wet rag all over her. He does it this way because he can give her his thumb like this, and she settles more as he cleans her up. She’ll still definitely flinch as he presses the cool cloth between her legs, because she’s so sensitive.

“Sorry kid,” he mumbles in her ear, “But I really made a mess on you. Just cleaning you up.”

She probably passes out on him like that, and Bill kind of just scoots as far down as he can, keeping her on his chest.

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill #sub tiger

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ariparri · 4 years

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I was tagged by @carewyncromwell ! Thanks so much for tagging me!! ╰(*'︶'*)╯♡

It took a while since I struggled to put my thoughts into words, but I finally got this done! So I have two endgame ships here, Diego x Veruca and Carson x Tulip... then there's my other ship with Carson x Rowan... I think I'll stick to my first ship for this. If anyone's interested in Carson x Tulip or Carson x Rowan, just let me know and I'll work on that too! Not sure who to tag on this, so if you see this feel free to join in! Anyways let's get to it!

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

The fact Veruca is a great dueler herself is just part of it. Diego finds Veruca's strong will to be very attractive. He loves her determination to find her brother Coby and put a stop to the vaults and R are one thing, but her determination to get stronger to be able to protect her friends and everyone else she cared about is what got him completely interested. That mischievous side of hers is also a nice plus if you catch my drift ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Above all of that, he’s completely smitten by her smile. He’s seen how some of her smiles aren’t genuine, knowing that she tends to put on a strong face to hide her true emotions. So whenever he manages to make her show a real smile, a true genuine smile, he’s practically blown away at such a sight.

What Veruca finds attractive in Diego would be how much of a charmer he can be. Yeah sure she didn't take him quite seriously in the beginning, but when he spent an entire week trying to prove to her how serious he was Veruca saw Diego in another light. She also loves his sincerity, and how he was very patient with her when she was trying to break out of her own insecurity. Since Veruca is prone to doubt her own self worth, Diego is always there to prove how precious she is to him. And Veruca just loves when he’s quick to sense when something’s wrong with her and immediately does something to make her feel better, it gets her all giddy inside.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Well obviously yes. I mean, didn't go out my way to make references for their daughters, Marisol and Carina, which can be found here.

Of course Diego would want kids, he loves kids, so having a few of his own would make him a happy man. However, with how Veruca grew up, she's more worried about whether or not she'll be a good mother. But with Diego by her side, she has nothing to worry about as he will be with her every step of the way.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Surprise, surprise, Veruca is really big on the cuddles. And Diego was absolutely ecstatic finding out about this, because they cuddle everyday. Their cuddles varies from the spoon where either of them can be the big spoon, to being cradled, to facing each other having their limbs entangled.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Since Veruca isn't big on extravagant dates or the like, she prefers the simple plans where she has quality time with Diego. Say like, a picnic in the park. However this picnic takes place at night under the starry sky, because Veruca is a sap like that. But because her partner is Diego, he's going to go out of his way to make the picnic look absolutely presentable. We're talking candles in jars, string lights or lanterns hanging overhead by the trees, maybe even a hammock to lay on while they gaze up at the stars. If they're up for it, they also love to duel each other. Since they're out in the open, they limit themselves to certain spells, the ones that cause the least to no amount of damage, I.e. Rictusempra. Dates to the club for some good old dancing fun are a usual thing every now and then, but nothing beats the intimate and passionate picnic dates.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

Veruca to Diego: You are my light

Diego to Veruca: You are my dream

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Veruca realized she was in love with Diego was when he spent an entire week trying to give her flowers. Knowing he was a flirt, Veruca never took him seriously. So when he started giving her flowers, each day being a different flower, she reacted poorly to each of them and gave them to her friends. She thought he would give up after the third attempt when she had an allergic reaction to the third flower. But when he showed up on the fourth day with a new flower, Veruca realized he wasn't playing around. She also noticed the confidence was slowly starting to leave his face every time she rejected him. So on the last day, to spare him any more pain Veruca was going to tell him to stop trying, until she saw the flower in his hand. It was a carnation, her favorite flower. Seeing the surprise look her face, Diego gives her a sheepish smile, "I should have asked Carson from the beginning, but I wanted to figure this out myself to prove to you how serious I am about this... it didn't turn out exactly as I hoped." Seeing how Diego was desperate enough to go this far to prove himself, Veruca realized just how much she was in love with him. She accepts the flower with small smile and a light blush on her face before thanking Diego and telling him how much she liked the gift.

When Diego realized he was in love with Veruca, was during one of their dueling sessions. Their match ended up in another draw and they continued to tease each other about who the better dueler of the two. With Veruca always showing her smug grin, Diego poked fun at her for not being able to show a real smile. They went back and forth on this topic for a while until Diego declared that if he won their next duel Veruca had to show him a real smile. Veruca found that to be a weird punishment but agreed nonetheless. As she was leaving, she turned back to him, “There’s no need for that, Diego. If you really want that smile so badly...” and showed him a true genuine smile. The smile was so bright, it almost made Veruca look like a completely different person. Diego’s heart practically stopped at the sight. ‘When did it get so bright? Why are there sparkles everywhere? Wtf? How can someone with such a big trouble making streak have the most purest smile in the world?!’ Satisfied with his reaction, Veruca left him staring like a starry eyed little kid.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Diego is the most gentle one of the two. And although Veruca is a little rough around the edges, but she has shown to be gentle towards Diego. It's very obvious by how they embrace and talk to each other. Hands are always intertwined or their arms are wrapped around each other. And when they speak to the other, their voice is always soft and light giving it a loving tone. And Diego is a gentleman, so whenever they go out for walks, he’ll always walk by the road so Veruca is on the safer side. He even opens doors for her, and when they cross the street Diego will take a few steps onto the road to stop someone just so Veruca can walk by and he’ll make a dramatic swooning sound as she does making her laugh.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Veruca likes the finger hand hold, either she intertwined her fingers with Diego's or just holds one of his fingers. This a more romantically playful method for times when she's feeling flirtatious. This is the easiest hand hold for Diego to pull away from, but is still a great way to add some fun intimacy to the mix. While Diego prefers to clasp both his hands over Veruca's own, sometimes even placing a small kiss on her fingertips.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Veruca: -veruca.exe. has stopped working- -thoughts on overdrive- -code red- -code red!-

Veruca: He... seems quite reasonable... very handsome too...

Diego: She puts on a strong face... but her eyes tell a different story.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Veruca does get jealous. Although she tries not to show it, it's still kind of obvious. Now Veruca knows Diego is faithfully loyal and would never do anything to ruin their relationship. If anyone tries to get uncomfortably close to Diego, Veruca has a stare that could most likely kill. She'll be burning holes in the person's head. However if this person doesn't take the hint, Veruca will have to get involved. No threats, although she is capable of sending someone to the hospital. She'll look them straight in the face and with a deadpanned expression, "you're doing it all wrong... getting his attention that is..." and then turn to Diego and pull him in for an intense make out session right in front of the person making them uncomfortable. After a short while, Veruca will pull away, wiping her mouth and looking directly at the person, "that's how you do it, of course you won't be able to since he's already mine."

Everyone knows Diego can get jealous... like easily jealous. Despite Veruca being able to take care of herself, I.e. punching the bastard in the face for trying anything on her... Diego still can't help but feel jealous whenever someone tries to hit on her. He'll get in between them, having a not so innocent smile before wrapping an arm around Veruca and placing a quick kiss on her lips. Once he pulls away he turns to the person while feigning surprise with an, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there. Did you need something?" And Veruca being the smug little shit, plays along with him. Even after the person leaves and Veruca has to constantly reassure him that no one will come between them, Diego refuses to let Veruca go.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Most of their kisses are very playful, bunch of light pecks all over the face. The slow, sensual kisses are for the more romantic moments if you catch my drift ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I mean, there are simple moments where their kisses are slow and romantic.

Veruca was the one who initiated the first kiss, surprisingly. While they were out on their third picnic date night, laying on the blanket under the stars while Diego peppers kisses all over her face. As she looked up at him, she didn’t know what came over her. It could have been the atmosphere, or the moon shining down on them. But the way Diego looked in the moonlight, making him look all godlike, had so many thoughts running through Veruca’s mind that she brought her hands up to his face and pulled him down for a kiss.

L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

It takes place the same night when Veruca and Diego had their first real kiss. After pulling away from the kiss and seeing Veruca's flustered face pulled at his heart strings. With a loving smile, resting his forehead on hers while caressing her face, Diego whispers those three magical words to her, and it was enough to put tears in Veruca’s eyes. It was one of the most romantic and memorable night the two had.

M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

Diego's favorite memory would be during the summer after 5th year, where he Veruca and the rest of their friend group decided to spend their vacation together. Seeing how the sun shined behind her, giving her an ethereal glow and that gentle smile she usually shows to a few people. He was able to see Veruca act in a way not everyone at Hogwarts was able to see. He loved seeing the happy smile on her face when they were hanging out at the beach. That same night, the group decided to watch a horror movie before going to bed. Diego wasn't aware of how Veruca was absolutely terrified of anything horror related. So when Veruca clung onto Diego's arm and saw how pale her face got during a big jump scare, Diego wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. They stayed like that as they fell asleep and into the morning where they woke up to the others taking pictures of them together.

I touched up on this in Feelings, but Veruca's favorite memory would be the time Diego spent an entire week giving her flowers. To prove he was serious about his feelings, he tried gifting her a flower. The first flower was a rose, because of how cliche it was Veruca gave it to someone else. He kept trying with a different flower each day only to have Veruca show no interest in any of them. It was until the last day when he found out that Veruca's favorite flowers were carnations. She loved how determined he was to prove his feelings. Looking back on it now, Veruca found it funny how he approached her one day with a flower she was allergic to, remembering the face he made was enough to put her in a little laughing fit.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Diego would most likely get in trouble by Veruca if he even buys her anything expensive. But he just can't help it, he loves Veruca and whatever he sees that he knows Veruca would like he just has to get it for her. Veruca doesn't have it in her to stay mad at him when he's put so much thought into the gift. There is one gift, however, that Veruca wouldn't mind receiving everyday. And those are carnation flowers. Veruca's way of spoiling Diego is through the little things. Massages every now and then, Diego's favorite would be when he rests his head on her lap while they're both reading a book and she's running her fingers through his hair. Yeah sure it's not an actual massage, but the way she does it sends shivers down his spine. Always making him lunch whenever he goes out to work, and some of the treats in the dish are shaped into little hearts, something Diego originally thought was out of character for her but realized she was truly a big old softie. Kisses galore! Pecks here and there, and everywhere! They both live for that stuff, they can never have enough of it.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Sage green reminds Diego of Veruca, not because she was a Slytherin but because of her eyes. To Diego, it's a beautiful shade of green he's ever seen. Especially when the light reflects on it just right, making her eyes shine even brighter. No jewel or gem can even compare to those beautiful eyes of hers. Denim blue reminds Veruca of Diego, mainly because of the denim jacket he used to wear a lot back in Hogwarts. But the reason why blue reminds Veruca of Diego for how he’s helped her. The color blue calls to mind feelings of calmness or serenity. It is often described as peaceful, tranquil, secure, and orderly. Blue is often also seen as a sign of stability and reliability. Diego provides these feelings for Veruca, and that’s why she’s always reminded of him whenever she sees the color blue.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Diego mainly calls Veruca by her nickname, Ruca, when she admitted she liked it when he called her that. It's pretty much a big deal to him since he's the only one allowed to call her that. Veruca calls Diego, Heart Throb, for obvious reasons. Guy can get her heart beating so fast he starts to worry he might cause her heart to explode. Then there are names of endearment they often use, such as 'love,' 'sweetheart,' 'honey/hon,' or even the occasional 'babe' every now and then.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Veruca likes to collect antique pins and brooches. Diego loves listening to old music records.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Rainy days are good days to just sit on the couch and laze about as the rain pours. If they're in the mood, which is usually all the time, they'll start slow dancing in the living room to the rain.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Words aren't needed when these two are trying to make the other feel better. Just being there for the other simply puts them at ease. Diego always prepares a cup of ginger tea for Veruca and proceed to embrace her in a comforting hug while she clears her mind. With Diego, Veruca always hugs him from behind and will either rub his shoulders or run her hands up and down his arm. Nothing is said between them, showing that they have a deep connection with one another and it instantly puts them in a good mood to where they'll start playing around and try to make the other laugh.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

They both like to talk about the good days during their time at Hogwarts. They like reminiscing about all the fun times they had with their friends. Anything they see in their usual day would always remind them of how much fun they had when they were younger. They talk a lot about their future and having a family as well. Diego knows how much Veruca doesn't see herself to be suited as a mother or a wife with how her own mother always spoke of how Coby was her only hope of having grandchildren. But Diego does his very best to push those thoughts out of Veruca's mind by telling her how much of a perfect woman she already is.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Massages usually helps them both relax. Their favorite way to unwind is lounging lazily on the couch entangled in each other, Diego running his hand up and down Veruca's arm sending chills throughout her body while Veruca runs her hand through his hair and they're just breathing each other in.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

It's clearly obvious Diego is the type to show off, whether it's his dueling or his dancing skills. Veruca loves to watch him do what he does best. Veruca, herself, is a great duelist and definitely prides herself in her dueling skills. Another thing she likes to show off is how great of a flyer she is too. And since they're so deeply in love with each other, they're clearly proud of having the other as their partner and love showing each other off. Although Veruca's way of showing Diego off isn't as out there as Diego's way.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Two years after graduation is when they decide to officially tie the knot. Since Diego knows Veruca isn't that big on fancy and extravagant things, he doesn't plan a big proposal. He'll take her out on a simple date, a picnic at the same spot they went on their first date. Maybe even pull her up for a little slow dance, Diego will start to talk about when they met to how he fell in love with her and everything after. Veruca most likely knew the direction this was going but lets him continue. As soon as he gets down on one knee and pulls out the ring, Veruca doesn't even give him a chance to ask the question before she throws herself onto him.

If Veruca were to propose, it would definitely be quick and straight to the point. Probably after waking up the next morning, as she heads to the kitchen and Diego greets her with a fresh plate of her favorite breakfast and a kiss to the cheek and that's when Veruca lays it out on him. "Hurry up and marry me already." She says groggily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

Stand By Me, by Seal. It's their go to song to dance to.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Before starting a relationship with Diego, the thought has never crossed Veruca's mind. She had come to a conclusion that she was the "undatable" type thanks to the vaults and her brother as well as how her mother was very cynical about everything regarding her. But after being with Diego for so long, the thought of getting married has never left her head it often distracted her from her work or other activities.

Marriage has definitely crossed Diego's mind before. But he knows how Veruca is when it comes to opening up with her feelings, so he doesn't rush into it. He would wait for the right moment, when Veruca is much more confident in her feelings before he starts planning.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Veruca already has a pet. And his name is Gambat the fruit bat! Veruca and Diego would also get a Collie and name him Pesky for how super active he can be. All his running around can end up knocking something down accidentally.

#my mind was all over the place here #this entire thing is a mess 😅#like seriously my writing is all over the place #veruca mcquaid #diego caplan #hphm #hogwarts mystery #harry potter hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #hogwarts mystery mc #fluff alphabet #hphm diego #diego x mc

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a-simple-imagine · 4 years

Text

Stay With Me

Synopsis: Y/N tries to convince Rose to give up on Abra (Set during the events of the movie Doctor Sleep)

Pairing: Rose the Hat x True Knot member fem!reader

Words: 3k

A/N - I’m told I shouldn’t be in love with Rose the Hat because she like tortures kids or whatever but I see that as like a minor flaw. My new calling in life is writing Rose the Hat stories for a niche market of one

Warnings - Swearing, sexual themes, blood, mentions of violence, murder and pain. Doctor Sleep spoilers I guess??

It had been years and yet you could recall the day she turned you like it was yesterday. From Crow Daddy abducting you to waking up in a bed you didn't recognise. A place you didn't recognise. You remember the fear that coursed through your veins as she approached you. Her bracelets jangling with each step. Her style was very bohemian; it suited her well. A hat sat on top of her mangled brown locks. A cup steamed between her palms. She didn't look like a creepy psychopath, in fact, she was probably the most beautiful woman you had ever seen but looks could be deceiving and you could sense her intentions weren't pure. Ever since you were little you had been able to sense danger. It always started as a weird pull deep in your stomach. The closer the connection to the person the more intense it would become and this woman was like a bright red warning sign. However, every word that came out of her mouth was calculated but gentle. She spoke with such care that it was weird to experience. This woman sat down next to you, her eyes drifting over you. She smelt... earthy? Not in a bad way, it was intoxicating. She made you an offer that you couldn't refuse unless you wanted to be their dinner. The ritual that followed caused pain so intense you felt like your head was about to explode. Every cell in your body burning you alive. Trying to destroy you. She told you it wouldn't hurt; no fear but this was horrifying. Fingertips pressed into your skin as she tried to keep you focused as you writhed around. Nails scraping the ground like it would somehow help. Tears streamed down your face as your grip on reality faded away; desperate for a breath of fresh air. To this very day, you've never felt anything quite like that and you never wanted to again. It was perhaps a fate worse than death.

Eat Well. Live long.

Things had certainly changed since then. It had taken you a lot of soul searching to adjust to being part of the True Knot but over time they had become your family. You still didn't quite have the stomach for snatching children or the atrocities that followed but you had come to understand that the world wasn't so black and white. Most of life sat in the grey area in between. With lives as long as yours and connections vast, consequences no longer existed. The shine was a rarity that was purest in children. The steam they produce is vital for your survival, it's nothing more than hunting for food. Rubes kill animals for food what’s the difference? Or at least that's how you rationalised the situation. Maybe you had just become numb to it all. You personally never actually hurt anyone. Rose had always had a sort of soft spot for you and you liked to use it to your advantage. She had never forced you to do anything you didn't want to which was primarily all the sadistic, gritty tasks. However, you would do the grocery shopping whenever somebody asked or you enjoyed cooking so big meals were never an issue. Why you still ate normal food was beyond you but they got a kick out of it. Helping with the day to day tasks made you feel like you were still helping out. It was unsurprisingly hard to watch somebody you were so utterly enthralled with do such horrid things. Often you'd find yourself diverting your eyes only to hear the cries of terror. Pain purifies steam so does fear. You don't understand why but it was part of the process. You could practically feel the pleasure she derived from it in every shotgun kiss shared between the two of you. The embraces could be considered magical. They made your heart melt and tasted like the greatest thing in the world; always left you craving more steam and craving her. She was always so intimate with you and over time you let yourself fall so stupidly in love with a complete monster. Rose the Hat was many things. She could be described as evil, manipulative, even intimidatingly disgusting. She had done awful things that your heart seemed to so easily ignore just because she was also rather charming. She genuinely cared for the people in her life; she was almost motherly towards them. And she was certainly very easy on the eyes. You adored her in ways you had never experienced before.

"You doin' okay, my sweet?" Rose's voice drifts into your ears bringing a small smile to your lips. You glance back at her from your spot on the edge of the watchtower, swaying your legs in a repetitive motion. She was in her usual spot, legs crossed for meditation. She looked so pretty and peaceful.

"Mhmm. Just thinking about life." You admit softly, turning back to nature. You enjoyed being up here. Rose, on the other hand, didn't like it so much when you disturbed her and often you'd respect her authority. But sometimes you came up here when she wasn't too busy or just to relax alone. It helped clear your head when you watched the others. That smile faded away as you feel a pit in your stomach grow. You had been sitting on an uneasy feeling for a while now but you had decided against telling her. The sole reason for staying behind was to comfort her the way she always did for you. Before you could warn her, Rose just started groaning uncomfortably loud. Scrambling up, you rush to her side. Whatever was happening, she seemed to be in excruciating pain. Shit, she was probably gonna be mad that you didn't warn her. With such a faint feeling, you never expected anything major. Maybe the lack of steam was affecting you more than you thought. When she finally calmed down, she remained still breathing heavily. You placed your hand on her back but she shoved you away, climbing down the ladder. You follow quickly behind her; keeping a reasonable distance between the two of you.

"Crow has her." She growls; a bitter unforgiving anger laced in her otherwise beautiful voice. "The others... didn't make it."

Your brow furrows but you don't dare ask what happened. It had become pretty clear anyway so there wasn’t a need for details. You cautiously walk up behind her, wrapping her in your arms and placing a chaste kiss against her back. In response, she took one of your hands and brought it to her lips. "I..." Trailing off before so much as a full word is uttered, you hesitate to continue. You can't imagine she'll like what you have to say even with the best of intentions. "Rosie... I'm glad you stayed behind."

Her body tenses and you instantly regret having said anything at all. It was completely selfish and yet still so still true. The others were like family but your connection with them was nothing compared to your feelings for Rose. Although You had struck up quite a bond with snakebite Andi. Forcing her way out of your grip, she disappears into her Earth Camper and you decide not to follow her just yet. Instead, plopping down on a fold-out chair, you stare up at the pink and purple hues that coloured the sky. If you just left her alone, maybe she would calm down a little. You can't even begin to imagine how she must be feeling right now having endured all that. You still felt sick which wasn't a good sign. If you were at full strength maybe you could have predicted this but Rose was right in saying you haven't been eating well. Not for a long time. You finally work up the courage to go inside, peeking your head in first before barging in. Your lover was just sitting there staring out the window into the woods. She sighs loudly. "What's gonna happen to him?"

You're surprised she even talks to you as you come to a stop. "I'm not sure," you shrug. "but it's obviously not good." You approach her cautiously, looking out into the woods. There was once a time where being out here would have creeped you out but now you were the monsters that lurked in the dark. "You wanna take a nap with me? Crow won't be back for hours and you're just gonna drive yourself crazy sitting here." You take her silence as a no and so you leave her be. Climbing into her bed so you could keep an eye on her. You liked how small her bed was - if you could call it that - it always made you feel closer to her. It doesn't take long for you to drift off, you hadn't exactly been bursting with energy lately.

A blood-curdling shriek dragged you kicking and screaming back to reality. Jerking up in bed to see Rose on the floor. Her eyes shone brightly as she cried out in absolute agony. "What's wrong?" You wonder, shoving off the covers. Tears fell silently down her cheeks, her jaw tense in pain. You rub your eyes a little, you hadn't been out that long had you? Using your thumb, you slowly brush away any signs of her sadness. It seemed a lot worse this time like she was much more distraught. "It's crow isn't it?"

You meet her once shimmering eyes. Every ounce of softness burned by the fire of her anger. You've never seen her this mad before; it's... scary.

"I want that little bitchchild." She spits through gritted teeth. You back away from her, giving her the space she needed to not burn you in the crossfire but apparently, that's not what she wanted this time. She reached out for you and you take another step back, hitting the wall.

"Are you scared of me, my dear?" You almost admit the truth but you figure she already knows and that's why she asked. You liked her caring side but when she got angry it was better to steer clear. Shaking your head, Rose walks towards you and pulls you against her chest. Her embrace welcoming and tight. "I'm going after her- we can still track her." Rose huffs, loosening her grip just a little so she could look at you. There was a look of crazy determination on her face that made your heart ache.

"Please don't," you whisper softly. Burying your face in the fabric of her dress. Inhaling her like you never want to let her go.

"Y/N-"

"Something really bad is gonna happen." You interrupt quickly. "I- I can't lose you too."

She offers you a small smile. "You don't have to come with me but I have to do this."

"No, you don't," Your voice surprisingly firm as you scowl at her. There was a little smirk on her lips like she was proud. "We can find someone else, another kid- I don't care."

"You will when you're fucking starving." Rose snaps harshly. You let your head fall so you wouldn't have to look at her anymore. Rose was in charge and you had to respect her decision even if it was idiotic. The brunette places her hand softly against your cheek and you instinctively lean into her touch. She lets her forehead fall against yours. "You trust me, right?" Eventually, you nod a little. "Then trust me to do this. If not for ourselves than for the others that that little bitch murdered."

You could beg and plead until you went blue in the face but it wouldn't make a difference. Rose has becoming consumed by her obsession; motivated by her anger. This was no longer just about getting Abra, it was about revenge. She'd never been good at letting things go. She had lost her family so quickly. Felt them die one after the other like a game of dominos. There was no way to fix that. Even if you could find other rubes, the chances of them being as powerful as Abra; someone who got inside Rose's head like walking into a store would be almost impossible. And so you had to trust her even if it made your insides burn. "When are you going?"

"I got a little time." She forces you to look at her. Pressing your lips together softly at first but with increasing intensity. You could feel her pain in the way her teeth bore down into your bottom lip as she guided you towards the bed. Her knee speeding your legs apart. The metallic taste of blood dripping into your mouth when she pulls back. Her eyes were dark with anger or lust you couldn't be sure. "Will I feel it when you die? Since you feel it when we do?"

A soft sigh slipped into the air. You could tell she didn't want to talk about this and not just because it was killing the mood. "How bad is it?"

"Nauseating, a little better being so close to you but it'll get worse as you leave."

A gentle kiss was placed against your forehead. "You've always been too soft for your own good. Maybe I should have been tougher with you- made you carry your weight a little more."

"You like me because I’m soft," you argue, an amused smile spreading over your lips. "Makes me easier to manipulate or so you think it does. I just... go along with whatever because I wanted you to like me. I relish in the way you treat me."

"Oh my love, I know that. I can read your mind after all." Rose chuckled softly.

"I don't like when you're in my head." Her lips connect with yours once more.

I know.

Palm against her chest, you push her away again. She may be running off to her own doom but you couldn't ignore how you felt about her or the sick feeling beginning to fester. Something really bad was gonna happen and you can’t help but wonder if this would be the end for her too. Would they then come after you? "I don't know if I can last by myself."

"You definitely can't." She answers instantly and you're a little offended she's so quick to dismiss you but she was right. " but you won't be alone so it's fine, Y/N." She let her thumb dance softly over your cheek.

"When have I ever been wrong," you ask, a little too aggressively. She stops her movements for a second before continuing. "Tell me that what I'm feeling right now isn't a sign that you're not gonna make it. Promise me you'll come back and I won't bring it up again."

Her beautiful eyes drift to your lips but you're sure it's just to avoid looking you in the eye as she lies to you.

"Your wrong this time." She answers clearly. "I'll come back so please just... relax for me, my love."

You keep your word despite every part of you screaming to stop her. There was nothing you could do anyway. Her powers were far stronger and she had the stomach to do anything to get what she wanted. Her hand slips down to your neck where she sinks her teeth into your shoulder. An unexpected whine escapes into the air causing her to smile against you. Your arms wrap around her, pulling her flush against you. Pressing into her in order to be as close as possible. To feel every part of her just in case it was the last time. You rolled your hips against her knee which was still so conveniently placed between your legs. Rose sucked on your collar bone; marking you as her own. Dull waves of pleasure spilled through every part of your body until she stops you. Holding you down. Hand wrapping firmly around your neck. "Such a needy, girl." She hums, kissing you slowly. You try to move your hips again but her grip around your neck tightens so you stop. A whine slipping past your pouted lips. "Slow down, my sweet. I wanna taste you."

Rocked from your slumber, no words are shared between the two of you. Not so much as a plead for her to stay or an admission of love as you watch her gear up to dive further into the black hole of her obsession. She opens up a few special canisters she’d been saving. Inhaling the steam, on the last one she told you to join her. Giving you one last shotgun kiss. You noticed her hand was completely healed which meant she must have her strength back. You were feeling better too; stronger so it should have been no surprise when you felt like we're gonna throw up right here and now. You silently wish for a change of heart knowing she's probably spying on your thoughts but she was already out the door. It was still dark out. You're reluctant to go after her in case you touch her and witness her fate. So you stay by the door, feeling the cold air in nothing more than one of her shirts. The jeep roars to life and without so much as a glance back she drives away. You remain there until she's out of sight and you're left to play with the ghosts of a once lively campsite. For a second you're at peace and then her voice filters into your head.

Trust me. I'll get her. The tears you had managed to subdue no longer cared for composure and you begin to silent sob for a woman whose fate was yet to be sealed.

#rebecca ferguson #Rose the hat #doctor sleep #the shining #stephen king #Rose the hat x reader #the true knot #Stay with me

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kanene-yaaay · 4 years

Text

Patton has a secret ~

Kanene’s note: *read the speech I decide to write here* Hmm...

Caham.

*Throw away the paper* Is just a lot of fluff. Like... just fluff. No drama, no angst, no action, no adventure, maybe fiction, but a lot of fluff. :v

... I should try to write others genres... xDD

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Patton and Ler!Roman/Ler!Virgil (Just a itsy bitsy of Lee!Virgil and Lee!Roman).

* Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 3500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* My first Sanders Sides Tickle Fic finally translated!!! Yayyyyyyy!!! \0\ /0/ \0/ *jazz glitter hands*

* Here the fanfic in Portuguese (brazilian’s one!) ! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Watch a fun video and drink hot chocolate water! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

In fact, with how times Patton took care of the other three (and sometimes, five) members of the Mental Palace it could almost be seen as a hobby, a piece of his routine even. But he just could not help or stop himself from doing something when he knows to have in his own hands a world of possibilities for lighten up their, rainy or not, days and paint in their faces a smile, even when it was a light embarrassed one. This was a little something that worked as if he was brighten his own days.

And that reason was what it was so… strange to watch them turning the table.

In the days very after the conversation they had, followed by his room visit (think about that still giving bittersweet shivers down his spine), at least one time and for a few minutes in the day, all the spotlights switched to the quartet’s cat lover.

Just as this morning, when he was woken up by a battalion of cuteness and love consisted by fifteen puppies summoned and carefully deposited in his bed by Roman, who doesn’t waited much to yell an order to “ATAAAAAAAAACK!”. Leading an awake from an extremely confused Patton, which was immediately subdued by licks and small barks doesn’t taking long to rip out happy giggles and squeal from the one who wore cardigan.

Or, even like those random moments in the day when no one is around and Virgil feels absolutely comfortable to wrap him up in a calm, filled with more signification which words could archive, hug. That time when Patton controls himself to not squeak (too much) loud, especially on those others pieces of time when the aspect of Fight or Flight eventually ended up changing to canals with Patton’s favorites cartoons, claiming between (fake) annoyed murmurs that “There isn’t anything better on TV.”

And also, there was Logan. Oh, Lo… Maybe never before, except celebrations, had Patton received so many gifts. They went from interesting books to soothing songs playing in his room’s background, expressing all those feelings that so much confused the duo with the same glasses. Morality liked this approach equally. Most of the songs sang that everything would be okay.

In the end, even if all of it were… different, new, Patton couldn’t deny that loved every second of it.

And maybe it was for all these pampering, however he started to feel a bit freer to demonstrate a little more of him, little by little… For that reason (or maybe feeling?) that some days after all the new occurrences he found himself asking Roman to summon him a tablet. Sure, he summoned one by himself, albeit Roman’s conjurations have always been the ones that spilled the most amount and shiny details, creativity, wonderfully, coloring in the Mind Palace.

This was some weeks ago. Some fast, full of giggles and blush weeks since his very newest discovery on internet. May or may not the only one to blame for his full-sleep nights shrank in order to increase his searching time.

“Tickly Community”

Just thinking on these words already unleashed warm waves through all over his face as involuntary as his began of smile and that soft and cozy sensation intertwining his heart.

Tickles, he squirmed quickly, one of the purest and simplest way to show someone trust and affection. A normal activity to improve bonding, which some disliked and others loved.

And Patton knew very well in which group he was.

It was kind of an addiction, or even a fellow, as he preferred to imagine. Making itself present not only when he turned on the electronic device, but in any and every time of the day. It seemed like a little angel with cat ears and cute voice who liked to appear from absolutely nowhere to say how much every activity in the day would be incredibly better just adding a few pokes, squeezes and sweet, uncontrollable laughter here and there.

And don’t even get him started with the movies, cartoons and series, which, unfairly, insisted in dropping one (sometimes more) tickle scene when he was the least prepared as he could be. Patton swore that in these moments he lost all the control on his body: he always felt being ‘too much smiley’ (even when he brain ordered him to stay serious… Well, he always was more a heart guy than mind one, anyway), ‘too much agitated’, looking at the movie ‘too much’ and always ending up in a mental battle, posteriorly, to choose which one was his favorite (spoiler alert: He always picked all and re-watched them.)

His fingers typed the URL he already knew by heart, snuggling further on the couch as the links appeared in his face. The one in cardigan (since his onisie was washing) loved reading stories gravitated around this subject. The descriptions made imaginary fingers dance in each one of his tickle spots… or at least that ones he suppose that were his spots. It had been few years since activities like that didn’t happened with Thomas or in the Mind Palace, so the freckled side didn’t knew if he stilled susceptible as used to be. Uurg. Think about this made him sad, so, the moral side decided focus on the arts in the art ahead.

Maybe hours or minutes have passed. He couldn’t say, however he could confirm that watched something around three absolutely adorable tickle videos and was in his fifth story whe-

- OH PATTON, MY PATTON – The high pinch scream together with the little jump gave by the called as answer seemed to amuse the prince, his stunning smile increasing. – What are you watchin’? – He let himself fall in the furniture’s arm, close from where Patton’s head rested, leading to the other automatically turn off the tablet in a hurry.

- Oh, nothing, nothing. – The group’s father waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. – Just some new cakes recipes! Thomas overbought Crofter’s and I’m not fire, but I want to help burn the stock! – Both giggled.

- You looked very happy. – Virgil couldn’t stop himself from the grin growing in his face, proud when the representation of morality released his second scream in such a short time, seeing as he truly didn’t notice the second which the purple lover laid in the other corner of the couch. His eyes shined as he saw red spreading across Patton’s cheeks.

“The world goes round.”

- W-when d-did you- for a heartbeat of moment he shuffles in his own words, stumbling in the letters and almost losing himself, taking a second to his face stabilized in a smile and the words stopped falling out his mouth. A bothersome sensation showed in the stomach of the other two sides, realizing how much trained and good at controlling his feelings and expressions he was. Maybe they saw a little of themselves in the act. – You know how much I love appreciate this little things. – Smile.

- Ho ho!! – The resounding laughter from the royal side made itself present as he approached even close to Morality, ignoring any and every signification of ‘Personal Space’. – It sees that nuestro padre is hiding something. ~

Maybe it was the Lee Mood attacking, maybe it was for how that specific phrase had sounded immensely with thousands of the dialogues he had read and which still spinning around his mind; It could even be the playful way they were going. However, Patton could only continue giggling and squirming in attempts to dodge from Roman’s efforts to take the device in his hands, being pretty good at it, something that definitely annoyed the Creativity’s aspect, causing him to let out a exasperated snort.

- Any help, Stormcould?

- I thought princes were ‘self-sufficient’. – He made quotes with his fingers, probably a reference to some fight of them.

- Wha… And we are! Even more when people like you force us to do all the work! Come on, you want to see this too! Another hand here would be nice!

- Tch. Can’t. – Virgil clicked his tongue, irony pouring out his lips as he raised his hands. – I only have mine.

The angry expression from the prince comically mixed up with the euphoric Patton’s squeal, who jumped to a sitting position, moving with more facility closer to the one wearing a hoodie.

- Was that a pun?? – His eyes seemed like could bright the starts by the way they were shining. Virgil’s eyes widened, hiding in the hood while mumbled a ‘no’, half-annoyed, half-awkward and half-happy for be the one who put that smile in the other’s face.

- Ah há!! – The victorious expression quickly took place in Roman’s face as he got the tablet. – Great distraction, my gothic subject!

He clicked the ‘Turn on’ button.

- No! Wait!! – His voice possibly raised a little bit than normal, ora little shakier, or even desperate. Patton stretched quickly, seeking to retrieve the object. He didn’t really know how to explain the suddenly panic. He always dreamed in telling this secret to the others, but… Now this possibility was too… real. He was afraid, afraid that they found it weird, didn’t liked it, felt forced in some way or didn’t really understand his liking and interpret it wrong and… In just that millisecond, Patton feared about all of it and something else at the same time.

The duo looked alarmed, and this made he doubt the reason of his fear. They were his adorable kids, his famILY with eccentric likes just as him. His sons who took care of him. He felt silly, but it didn’t change the glares in his direction.

- Roman… - A light threatening started to take strength in Virgil’s tune.

- Sure! Here you go, padre. – With a big flourish, he handed over the tablet. An apologetic smile in his features, a slightly deeper look in his glare. – I hope you to know that I was just messing with you! There is no greater honor than keep safe our secrets! - Winked, getting up, a hand resting in the chest while the other one gestured in a non-stop rhythm. – And, if is a matter of honor you can count on me to give my life into order to protect and safeguard it! – He bowed, holding Patton’s hand and kissing it, instantly dissolving the fear in the said aspect in an excited smile.

- Oh! Let me give back your kiss, then! – The moral side pulled from his pocket a Kisses’ candy bag, tossing it at Roman, who reflexively grabbed.

- Do you… Do you really have those on the pockets just for the dad joke?? – Virgil asked giving the question up as soon he saw Patton rolling his eyes, biting excitedly his tongue’s tip while shrugging.

- … No?

- They are really good! – The prince exclaimed, his voice muffled by the dozens candies he had put in his mouth and now was trying to chew. Patton felt a hand delicately hold his shoulder.

- You know we never would force you to share something you are not comfortable, right?

- Of course I do, kiddo. – The heart’s representation soothed his smile, deflecting his gaze to his lap, where the tablet calmly rested. The way both acted… so sweet and adorable…

He didn’t even knew of what he was afraid at the first place.

- But…no. – His words come out before anything stopped them. – I want to tell.

This automatically caught their attention, interest sparkling on their expressions. Sure that they were the most comprehensible as possible with the paternal aspect, however this didn’t change the flame of curiosity created by the situation in their minds, which was inflamed even more right now. Patton turned on the device.

- It’s a really silly thing… - Virgil lightly squeeze his shoulders in an encouraging way. Roman moved a little more closely and was gifted with the tablet, now unblock, being deposited on his hands. The words floated from Patton’s lips before his brain or fear could do something to stop them. – But I like tickling!

His speech come out fast and low, he raised up his eyes for a second before lowering them at equal speed and started to play with the cardigan’s tip between his fingers. Patton was a person of a lot of expressions and gestures and hops and joy, albeit this time he was just quiet, slightly embarrassed as the blush on his ears could say.

And happy. A relieved happiness for don’t need to hide anything anymore.

- Patton. – The one with glasses looked up, just to find Virgil struggling with a grin until he gave up on the battle, letting it take over his face. Patton lighted up with expectantly, feeling like he had putted a piece of his soul in the two aspects’ hands and asked ‘So…?’ – This is… - He shook almost imperceptibly his head, his voice took a softer tune, his smile gave away to a serious face. – There is no problem in liking this you know that, right? We will not going to judge you. – Virgil bitted a little his lip, the grin coming back. – To be honest this is…

- ADORABLE!! – Patton was thrown on the couch. Roman having jumped in him, his smile was stunning and his eyes twinkling dangerously. – ABSOLUTELY, INCREDIBLY, ADORABLY ADORABLE!

The cats lover just could giggle, ignoring the heat in his face growing up more and more as he spoke a couple of dad jokes. Virgil’s head appeared besides the prince’s shoulder, almost hided by it. He deposited the tablet on the coffee table, a dishonest smile shining as a sign warning dangerous. Patton felt a mix of anxiety and anticipation transforms to little butterflies in his stomach.

- Yes. Extremely cute.

He felt amazing.

- Oh, kiddos, it’s because of your influence! – Refuted. Half smile, half truth.

The dangerous spark in the pair of eyes seemed to sprawl even more as they stared him. Roman experimented to wriggle his fingers on his direction. Patton squirmed, a new wave of small, bouncing laughs escaping from his lips.

- It seems like our padre is full of giggles. ~ - He pretend to attack a couple of times, delighting himself with the squeaks and bubbling snorts that came as answers from the Morality’s representation.

A different squeal came out from Patton’s mouth, making the prince turn around just to see Virgil lightly tracing a finger in the other’s foot. There was a grin in his features. – I ask myself where they come from…

- V-virgihihihihil, deheheheheheahahar! Nahahahaha!

- I also question the same thing, my nebulous friend, BUT, not to worry! I bet the entire fabric is right here! - Patton followed Roman’s hands, which spin in some flourishes before reach his sides, light scratching they and leading another yelp to pour out from the cat lover, who could swear that he would melt with all the teasing.

- Ro, oh Ro! Pleheheheheheheheheheheasehehehehe! Roho, no teahahahahahasing!

- Don’t worry, padre! I shall help you with this awful case of endless cute laugh! – He squeezed his sides just some more times, increasing Patton’s struggling before lift his dancing fingers. - The cure should somewhere around… - He started to move his fingers, quickly spidering up and down in all his ribs. Patton’s hands shouted to hold him, but he easily dodge them, taking the opportunity to give some special attention to the victim’s armpits. – Here!!

And then, when his laugh, real belly laugh, started to fill the air, it was only then when Patton began to realize that this wasn’t a dream. The joyful filled him almost as quickly as Roman scribble his fingers along his sides, raising to his upper ribs and staying there with softs circular motions, appreciating the snorts that interconnected the laughter from the other. Before he got tired and goes down, squeezing and poking every piece of ticklish skin he could research with the shirt raising a few inches from Patton’s fight.

- RO-ROHOHOH! NAHAhahaHAHA! P-pleAHAHAHAHAhahahaseHEHEHEheeee!!

-Oh, my my! It seems like someone can’t even form phrases without being an adorable mess of giggles and squeals!

Meanwhile, Virgil calmly danced his fingertips through the foot of the one in cardigan, tracing illogic standards, scratching his arc, suddenly increasing the speed (and, consequently, the laugh, yelps and snort stream from the moral side) as found the toes. It looks that don’t be visible to Patton’s eyes just made him incredible more ticklish.

- VIR-HIHIHIHIHIGIL!! nahahaHAHAHAHAHA THEre!! Virhihihihihgil – The purple one thought he couldn’t like even more of his name until hear that variation. His heart was melting with all the adorableness. Why didn’t they discovered that before?

- Yes, Patton? Can you repeat? I couldn’t understand with all your laugh!

- Who is the cutest and ticklish side in the Mind Palace? – Roman switched to his tummy, poking and scrabbling, fingers paying attention in every minimum inch achievable and analyzing which one gave the best reactions. Patton struggled, the belly laughter shaking his entire body as getting out. His arms hugged his sides in an attempt to not to stop the tickles. His face burned and the happiness were assuming shape of tears as they accumulated in his eyes’ corner, his smile seemed truly goes to an ear from another, lighting up the entire room. – You know who are, huh, my dear and adorable Patton? – Each world was a scribble in his navel.

- YOHOHOHOHOHOHOU TWOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! NHAHAHAHA!

- Wrong answer. ~ - Virgil refuted, and almost synchronized both attackers started to blow raspberries in his foot and belly. His laughter went silent for a moment.

- RO! VI! NAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! ITHIHIHIHIHIHIHIS ME! MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! PleAHAHAHAHASEHEHE! NAHAHAhahhahahaha!

- I feel like he want to tell us something. – The representation of fear calmly commented as his fingers taking turns between squeeze knees and tights wasn’t leading the Morality to squeal, crackle, yelp and giggle almost at the same time, in a madness which the three loved. – But I just can’t get it, you know?

Patton thought he really, really know, the mean of ‘unbearable’, until Roman went, this time for real, to his armpits and Virgil reallocated himself to rest his thumbs on his waist.

And they attacked.

- NononononoNO! WahahahAHAHAHAHAHAIT!

He didn’t remembered if he screamed, or talked or even had some coherence. Suddenly all his muscles began to struggle and his laughter were faster, real and stronger than ever, among them also came shrieks, snorts and squeals until completely disappear. His thoughts were a mess. His eyes opened from time to time to take glimpses of Roman and Virgil’s affectionate smiles towards him. Tears flowed down his cheeks as joy materialized, a stunning joy, that one which made his head go side to side, up and down and a smile bigger than the Sun open in his face.

- STO-STOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHO-

They got the message, since in any moment before the father aspect got even closer to ask them to cease the attack, and quickly moved away. However, the duo could not stop themselves to appreciate the puddle of reminiscent giggles who was Patton, who now melted in the couch, letting the last laughter end. Wiped the tears and stared Roman and Virgil with the gratitude and happiness so easily to read in his face that made both aspects blush with the intensity, leading the purple lover hide in his hood and the prince smile more.

The moral side jumped, crushing them in a tight, sincere, and kind of clumsy hug due all them be sitting and with many words between the lines.

- Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!– His words comes out as fast as a machine gun, how he had breath for it even after all the tickling, no one really knew.

- You’re welcome, Padre! – Creativity’s representation lightly poked his sides, making him jump. – But be aware that your actions awaked up two insatiable tickle monsters!

Virgil just rolled his eyes. Patton released a fast giggle as answer, and for some reason, the purple felt all his ‘Fight or Flight’ instincts be activated. He squirmed a little in the hug, but the grip didn’t ease. The Morality’s voice came out a bit lower than the normal, but equally comprehensible.

- Oh, no, Roman… - It was like a purr from a feline before the attack. – You were the ones who did.

Logan left his room, having had a very satisfactory reading morning. Automatically screams and laughter entered in his ear field, his eyes lightly widened and he followed the sound, going to the Living Room just to find Roman and Virgil on the floor, Patton between them, his hands tickling both without mercy, leading the melodious sound (he had to admit) which were flying from their lips.

- Who are the two sides with shining and wonderful laughter who the tickle monster love to tickle tickle tickle tickle? – His tune was as a father talking with two babies. – They are you! Yesh yesh! Are you you you!

Logan pondered the situation. Patton was a reasonable person who loved everyone, so he more than possible would stop when realize they have had enough. Not to mention that he didn’t wanted take the risk to being pulled into the game or embarrassing the participants. Especially the one with hoodie, who still gradually getting used with the affection of the famILY and the prince, who sometimes let himself think that he needed to show himself the stronger and flawless figure that the ‘royalty must be’.

Realizing no real danger in the activity that his eyes analyzed, the logic aspect just stay long enough to decorate Virgil and Roman’s ticklish spots, since these could be a really future useful data, before backing to his room, suddenly remembering that there was another book on his shelf waiting for him.

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heoneyology · 5 years

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Monsta X "We Are Here” in LA

I’m doing this before I completely lose all memory of the concert!!! askljafsdf I actually had an audio recording of me going through the hi touch line that I was attempting to normalize before posting this so I could kinda do it together?? but unfortunately the audio is kind of funky and I can’t get it to work :’)) literally the only interaction you can make out is between me and wonho.

anyway of my concerts I’ve been to this year, I would rank monsta x as the best overall performance-wise, and second in management. there were some hiccups on the side of powerhouse that left me waiting in line 4+ hours which was not the greatest but at least monbebe are the sweetest people in the world and I made 5 friends that day to a concert I went to alone and was kind of anxious about. by the time management came around and said we could come back later to pick everything up, we were all pretty dedicated to just waiting in line... basically management didn’t have tickets for ult vip and vip + all the freebies ready so despite being a numbered queue I still spent all but like 2-3 hours of my day in line, something I was hoping to avoid this time around.

uhhh so I’m just gonna go through what I remember, below the cut is a concert recap and hi touch recap! sorry for how long this is!

concert recap

the announcement about kihyun having injured himself started to circulate when we were all in line around 4-5pm waiting to get back in to the venue, and the hashtag for kihyun immediately picked up after that but it kind of shifted the energy of a lot of people waiting in line (which was weird to experience in a sense, it was kind of surreal, everyone was really worried about him)

of 21,000 people in the stadium, of a sold out concert, I ended up with one person in front of me I wanted to cry :’))

I literally, in my life, have only ever left one concert before this one (and it wasn’t a kpop concert) practically deaf.

they opened with shoot out and idk who decided to turn down the bass but being right in the pit next to the speakers you could literally feel the floor rumble as soon as the music started klajdlkfjsf

seriously the concert ended and I felt like I was underwater I couldn’t hear worth shit, I couldn’t hear clearly until halfway through the next day I literally thought something in my ears got fucked up

the screen rose and my eyes found jooheon immediately and I’m not sure if I lost all sense of self when they performed hero, the second song, or when I saw the screen lift and reveal him to be quite honest

watching kihyun separate from the boys and walk over to a chair on the other side of the stage almost fucking broke my heart at the start of the concert but oh my god if I could explain the look on his face? he didn’t seem to mind that he was injured, he was living out his dream and he was in a state of bliss and his smile and the way he was looking at the crowd... seeing him that happy made me want to bawl...

kihyun’s eye smile in person is probably the purest thing on the planet

hero is one of my favorite songs and hearing it live oH MY GOD- also the energy during trespass holy shit I can’t even explain it??

jooheon’s rap for trespass live is on some other fucking level

minhyuk, kihyun, and jooheon spent a lot of their time on my side of the stage so I have a lot of videos of them

sometime between the end of party time and start of play it cool I decided to stop recording and just kind of focus on cheering for the boys because kihyun kept walking by and I was trying to give him lots of love but uh jooheon was walking back towards the main part of the stage and I was holding up my lightstick against my phone (with my photocards of jooheon facing the stage) and uH JOOHEON SAW BRIEFLY AND POINTED AND WAVED AT ME I DON’T THINK I WAS COHERENT I ASCENDED-

jooheon also told a girl in our little area of the pit that he liked her headband it was the cutest interaction aklsdjfsk (there were a lot of jooheon stans in our area I chose the perfect spot tbh)

I forget what song it was after but streamers fell from the ceiling and at the end kihyun bunched all the streamers on stage up together and his small frame was carrying this ball of streamers almost as big as him and in front of my area of the pit he decided to throw the streamers and they didn’t go very far and he just... paused... and stared at the ball... then continued on his way... it was really funny akjldskfj he’s the cutest boy alive??? probably?

minhyuk is rude as fuck and his hips don’t lie he came over multiple times during fallin to fucking just... with his hips... in front of us... wheezes-

sambakja was my favorite unit stage for obvious reasons aklsdjdfjsdf jooheon came out and I realized what time it was and my only thought was uh oh here we go like fuck can he fuck up my bias list any more he’s my bias how does he keep?? doing shit???

I don’t really remember if he just dropped it or like it flew into the air or something but jooheon dropped one of his drumsticks and the little gasp that left me in the middle of this loud ass crowd it was laugh-worthy

jooheon had me convinced he was gonna crack a cymbal please calm down boy-

the VCRs were amazing shownu’s was an asmr mukbang and he kept shushing it was adorable and jooheon... jooheon cooked... that domestic au, wow, I love him...

myself was my second favorite unit stage, or tied with the maknae line’s tbh I was super sad when kihyun was sitting but god hyungwon, minhyuk, and kihyun in those suits and the song and the choreo alkjdflkjsdf

for all the photos of wonho during the mirror stage I’m surprised there aren’t more of shownu?? he was absolutely stunning I can’t even put it into words, wonho looked great but... shownu... had my full attention...

DJ H.ONE’S SET WAS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER THE ENTIRE STADIUM WAS JAMMING OUT

hyungwon stopped and stared at monbebe’s a lot in awe and I stared at him in awe it was the sweetest thing, it melted my heart

jooheon did a lot of funky dorky things going back and forth across the stage I can’t even sum them all up??? like at one point he was doing this kind of crab crouch thing idek- and then at one point coming back toward the end I think minhyuk? asked him to show his abs and he teased lifting his shirt right in front of our section, I almost died-

monsta x and the fucking bottle flip was a kind of chaos I can’t explain

at one point minhyuk was chanting, “if I’m success, I am king,” and changkyun had to tell him to watch his pronunciation because it sounded like “if I am sex, I am king” like that’s the kind of chaos it was-

minhyuk pulled up hyungwon’s shirt to expose his abs at one point but all I really saw was his back from where I was but hyungwon’s reaction as minhyuk ran for his life aklsjdkfjs

my favorite interaction of the night had to be when minhyuk, hyungwon, and kihyun were discussing the myself stage and minhyuk was prompted to explain it in one word and he started to very very very slowly spell out “sexy” and he only got to s-e-x and paused long and dramatically before saying the y and monbebe were literally losing it screaming and he just kind of glanced at the crowd taken aback and then hyungwon just goes, “I think today he’s a little drunken, sorry!”

also during that interaction they made kihyun laugh and the poor boy was like, “don’t make me laugh, it hurts!” and I was ready to jump on stage and fight minhyuk tbh for making him laugh

I don’t remember what stage we were waiting for, I think it was h.one, but there was a very long pause and THE MONBEBE IN THE STADIUM STARTED DOING THE WAVE WITH OUR LIGHSTICKS AND WE GOT IT TO GO AROUND AT LEAST 7 TIMES, COOLEST FUCKING FANDOM EVER-

kihyun, jooheon, and changkyun’s ending ment made me cry. kihyun explained how standing on staples stage was his dream and it was so hard to stay mad at him for performing while he was injured. jooheon just... the love he has for everyone god that boy my heart... and then changkyun explaining the staples dream since their first kcon made me tear up and wow I’m so proud of them-

meanwhile shownu’s ending ment was him telling monbebe we’re an in-n-out burger LOL I love a simple minded intellect

hi touch recap

okay so for hi touch I was fucking exhausted, as I said I’ve only ever been to one concert that completely drowned out my senses and so by the time I got to the boys I wasn’t really coherent. in comparison to my past hi touches I wouldn’t say I fucked up because I wasn’t nervous but... I was just too tired to form words... maybe someday I’ll get this hi touch thing right!!!

for reference of my descriptions of them: I’m 5′7″ with small hands. all the boys were taller than me, so I did look up at them a bit.

kihyun wasn’t present due to his injury. this list is in order of how they appeared in line:

SHOWNU: I saw shownu and my heart melted, although I was very confused for a split second walking up to him (which probably messed up my train of thought more, because I wanted to simply just say to him “best leader!!”) because a staff dude that was ushering the line forward stepped in front of me to grab something off the table like dude wtf is with your timing-

anyway... shownu... is literally a god among men. the pictures don’t do him justice. he’s so handsome, so beautiful. he glows. he’s tall, I remember actually tilting my head back just a bit to look up at him. and he’s so tan and beautiful and his persona glows!!! he had on his trademark crinkly eye smile, which gave off a very reassuring, calming, and dorky air which really made me less nervous if I was nervous at all (I just remember being exhausted). he feels calm and safe.

I saw him and my heart melted and immediately I just blurted out, “hi!” in the most awed and amazed tone. I don’t remember if he replied but he smiled really cutely and he looked like such a boyfriend with his snapback on backwards and his concert shirt on, like you could literally hug the boy and with the air he gives off he feels so safe and comfortable and wow I love son hyunwoo!! he has really nice arms too, he was standing up straight and tall with his broad shoulders oof, and his hands were cold, kind of broad with long fingers.

CHANGKYUN: pictures don’t actually do changkyun any justice either, to be completely honest? he’s perfect in real life. he looks like a sculpture. him and shownu have to be the most handsome men in the entire world, I swear. his features are so defining and up close they’re that much more prominent. he’s literally drop dead gorgous. I don’t know how to explain it-

despite the intensity this boy gives on stage he’s really soft and intense in a more private way. I was already putty after seeing shownu up close but he was just an absolute sweetheart. I think he knew half the people going through the line were insanely nervous. the girl in front of me (who I ended up making friends with earlier in the day) biases him and managed to tell him she loved him and in reply he actually said, “I love you, too.” meanwhile my tired ass simply said “hi” to him and he said it back and his voice is so smooth and raspy and like... his voice is so soft and comforting. he was speaking quietly and kind of privately to each monbebe and making it sort of personal he’s so thoughtful and kind.

he was also half sitting on the table, like he had a leg up and was leaning against it and would kind of lean forward just a bit every time he high-fived someone. his hands were probably the coldest of all the members and he had long hands and a slender wrist. he also was very small and like... slender? overall?? he was still taller than me, though, so not small in that way.

HYUNGWON: is he... is he a fairy?? he didn’t even seem real. like I can’t even process that I saw and touched his hand... is he really real... hyungwon is so freaking pretty in real life and he’s tall and kind of lanky but he’s beautiful! he’s so tiny though a good strong wind could blow him away he was so freaking petite? and his hair was so fluffy!!! his hands are also very petite and long, and his fingers are so long. like my hands felt extra tiny high-fiving his...

but oh my god the way he looked at every monbebe though like?? he was so insanely happy to be there and to be saying hi to all the monbebe coming through the line. that look of awe I said he looked at the crowd with a lot during the concert? that was on his face during the hi touch. and each time a new person stepped up to him a little light lit up in his eyes and they sparkled, he was the cutest boy ever!

WONHO: okay so rip to any wonbebes that went through the line because if I had any sense or if I hadn’t been as exhausted as I was, I probably would have died. wonho. wonho literally was sitting half on the table, leaning across the table, with his hand stretched outward and I swear to god if there hadn’t been a table there he probably would’ve been in every single monbebe’s face. that table needed to be there. it was holding wonho back from monbebe, not the other way around kaljsd;lkfjsdf.

this boy though. I love him. the love he has for monbebe. it emanates from him. literally rolls off him in waves. from the way he was leaning forward and greeting people as they stepped up to him to the way the light shone in his eyes. he makes eye contact with you and he looks at you like you’re the entire center of the universe. and the soft, yet awed smile that was on his face. he literally looked like he was in love?? wonho’s pure love for monbebe never ceases to amaze me and seeing it in person, just... wow. but honestly rip to wonbebes because having him lean across the table with how buff he is can be slightly intimidating.

he’s the only one I remember my interaction with clearly, besides with jooheon. as I said hi, at the same time he blurted out, “nice to meet!” (not even a you at the end, just “nice to meet!”) in such a singsong, happy voice!! he was the only one with a warm hand of all the members, and they were broad, a bit meatier? idk if that’s a good word? with thicker fingers. they were smaller than other members but bigger than mine still. also his biceps are... and his broad shoulders... his muscles are no joke. that close it’s intimidating yet he’s the softest teddy bear I could cry.

MINHYUK: oh my god I have tunnel vision I am so fucking sorry I... don’t remember minhyuk. or my interaction with him?? I said hi, I think he said hi back??? he was loud, too, like his whole personality is loud... I remember him being taller than me, I remember very clearly his bright red headband and his fluffy mop of hair, and the fact that he literally had a :D smile on his face. but jooheon was on the other side of him and??? I have fucking tunnel vision I’m so sorry minhyuk-

minhyuk’s hand was really cold next to changkyun’s, but he has really long, broad hands with long fingers... his hands were huge... I remember his hand being in front of my face and him being on the other side of his hand and I remember looking at his hand to make sure I high fived him correctly but I was hyperaware of jooheon at this point, sorry to any minhyuk stans I have let down kalsjdfljdsf I’ll do better next year...

JOOHEON: okay so part of the reason I was hyperaware of jooheon while interacting with minhyuk was the fact that I saw jooheon smile at my monbebe line friend in front of me and I saw dimples and my eyes and heart practically lept out of my chest for him I really am so soft for and love jooheon akljsdkfjs. I stepped up to jooheon and at that moment my exhaustion went away for the split second to remind myself of all my previous hi touch mishaps and not to fuck it up with jooheon.

he looked so jooheon alkjdfsf he had on his hat and rag from the end of the show, and he was casually sitting on the table leaning against the wall behind him. his hand was also cold, and he has very slender and long hands and small wrists and long fingers. my hands were tiny... as soon as I high-fived him, I made eye contact with him and told him and I loved him, and jooheon literally went, “Yeee!” and smiled at me and his dimples poked through and he did that thing where he widens his eyes and raised his eyebrows?? here’s a gif for reference, it’s the third one in the set. he kept eye contact with me and I think I fucking shut down at some point because I giggled like a damn school girl as I walked away and almost collapsed in the lobby of the staples center when I caught up with my line friends.

also to any joobebes, guard your heart carefully because that boy’s eyes actually sparkle in person. I held eye contact with him so long that I noticed his little eye mole and his eye sparkle? his face is a little bit thinner up close but he still has those pudgy cheeks and full lips and he borders somewhere between absolutely fucking gorgeous and the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on? and he’s a lot tanner in person??

anyway yes I love jooheon can you tell he’s an ult-

if you stuck around this long thank you for reading :’))

#m.txt #monsta x in la #monstaxinla #we are here in la #mine

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rockybalfeatherboa · 5 years

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More B&T headcanons

More hc

-Ted has his haircut bc he pretty much just showed the barber a picture of Dee Dee Ramone

-Bill can (casually) dress pretty well but ted is the one who usually needs,,,a lil help

-he gains a better sense of fashion after high school when he moves in with bill tho

-every time they drink together ted does this lil hip swivel fists up dance when he’s drunk and bill absolutely hates it

-bills mom used to be a bad ass biker gang chick w a lot of tattoos but now she’s in jail,,,she’s really sweet and bill and his dad go to visitation often (sometimes ted tags along and he’s always so excited!! To see !!! mama s. preston esquire !!!!)

-they only have like 2 classes together but they sit with each other at lunch

-they’re both passing English but uhh not too well in everything else

-they’re in and out of detention a lot only sometimes bc they won’t stop talking and giggling during class but mostly bc of tardies

-they have learned how to have basically entire conversations thru facial expressions

-Bill can forge his dad’s signature perfectly and as far as Eugene Preston Esq. knows nothing happens at school

-Ted has a B+ in chemistry bc he cheats his motherfuckin ASS off !!!

-ted loves his dad and capt. Logan loves ted but they just,,,,are very out of touch w each other.. Ted’s dad is super old fashioned (according to the cartoon he’s a republican yikes!) and doesn’t really understand Ted’s personality or the new hip times of San Dimas 1988.. i like to imagine their dynamic like Eric and Red Forman

-both bill and ted place heavy metal and rock as their #1 music taste but synth and gangsta rap come very close

-Bill almost knows an entire cheerleading routine from watching them when they practice

-Ted and Deacon are so cool as brothers they have sworn to never snitch on each other to their dad

-missy is not a dumb hoe!!! Or a gold digger or sugar baby!!!,,,she’s just a super hopeless romantic and falls in and out of love easily, and her charms make men wanna propose to her every one luvs missy she’s so good!!

-ok ppl will admit she’s a lil weird,,,but very cool as well 😎

-Ted had to keep taking the driving test over and over bc he keeps hitting the cones and the only reason he got he license is bc one instructor got so tired of him always bein in the DMV she just passed him anyway

-Bill and ted give each other DIY piercings all the time and the only ones that don’t close up are the ones in their ears and even those got infected (once)

-like for example bill tried to pierce Ted’s nose and they already had enough trouble trying to get the nose ring thru the hole (that was bleeding a lot), but then his body just kinda ,,rejected the (cheap) jewelry over time and the hole closed up in like 2 weeks

-Bill was able to hide his shoulder tattoo from his dad for about half a year before they took a trip to the water park and had to do some explaining real fucking quick

-Ted loves Van Halen and especially David lee Roth and one time got a Charlie horse from trying to do those high kick jumps

-Ted’s dad is the type of guy to stand up in his living room and salute when the national anthem plays on tv and ted and deacon think that shit is so corny

-Bills dad tries so hard to be the hip cool dad bill kinda thinks it’s embarrassing but he loves the freedom he gets

-Bill n ted tried to recruit ppl for Wyld Stallyns but not too many ppl at school were interested and Deacon wasn’t really either.. they weren’t too bummed out bc they have big dreams about getting Eddie Van Halen

-Ted will only let go of a hug if u let go first

-Bill has a major crush on Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy and pretty much only watches the show for her

-At deacon’s baseball games Capt. Logan is pretty quiet until something good happens then he stands up and goes “thaT’S MY SON!!!!! THATS MY SON!!!!! “

-he gets uncomfortable when ted tried to hug him (bc of old fashioned values about guys hugging and toxic masculinity) but he lets it happen,, ted goes all in while Capt. Logan gives a half hearted hug back but ted is oblivious to this

-Bill has glasses but doesn’t wear em bc his vision isn’t *that* bad but he pulls em out whenever he needs to read a sign from super far way

-before they settled on “Wyld Stallyns” bill and ted have considered the following: Rat Piss (with drawn logo provided by bill of a hand squeezing the piss out of a rat), Silk Angel, Jayne Mansfield’s Head, and Loins o’ Fire,,,,they wanted to be Van Halen so fucking bad

-Deacon jokingly suggested “The Brothers Bonehead” but they were just like shut up Deacon

-Ted could (and absolutely will!) inhale an entire jar of pickles

-same thing for bill but except with Kings Hawaiian bread rolls (were those a thing in the 80s-90s?? ah who cares)

-they’re both ticklish but especially Bill !!!!!

-every Christmas is just a battle of “idk dude what do YOU want?”

-whenever bill gets nervous her gets a slight lisp it’s kinda like the S sounds as a “thzhz” sound but it’s very very unnoticeable unless ur really listening

-Ted’s laugh is the purest sound to touch ur ears,,,heart emoji

-and bill has a lovely singing voice it’s so clear and deep and so nice ted and everyone loves it

-Ted wears a bandana sometimes,,he looks cute ,, just putting that out there

-also ted used to love dinosaurs and reading about them ,, he still does but just doesn’t read about them as much anymore but his love for dinos is still 💯

#bill and ted #headcanons #alex winter #keanu reeves #bill and ted’s excellent adventure #bill and ted’s bogus journey

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truly-morgan · 3 years

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Morgan simply rambling about their ocs part 1

So I got four likes on my post about rambling about my ocs, so that’s enough for me to do it anyway. I waited to talk about how they came to be and how they evolved (since many are from easily 8-9 years ago). They won't be in chronological order, mainly because it been too long for me to really remember that, but also all the original thing that could have helped me figure that out are now gone or have new date of creation. I can remember maybe who the 3-4 first are, but that's as far as my memories go.

I'd love to go over what design they went through, but tumblr wouldn't allow me to do that, so I suppose I'll do that on a later time.

They were, for a large part of them, meant to be used for rp (boy do I miss doing those), a lot of the other just growing around them as side characters and world building. So I'll most likely go over those that were originally meant to be used in rp, since the other characters came much more later and have obviously less development.

Anyway, hope y'all love this long post about my ocs.

Jack Auchter (previously Jack Miller)

First original character I ever made (meaning: not a naruto/my candy love oc), it was actually my brother’s character in a way, as I created him out of his suggestion. It is to say, he has change a lot.

He started as a lone ex-secret-military guy, trying to go back to a normal life despite his violent past, with some hint of losing someone before. I had created him as being seen like an horrible monster by the villager living close to were their base was and him just ending up quitting at some point. That whole secret military was a rather vague idea (I still have to work on that even).

Then he grew into becoming a more friendly characters. Really kind to people, ready and wanting to help anyone. This is where I implanted the whole reason why he got out of it, basically after losing his two best friends, blaming himself for what happened.

Now he is still a pretty gentle young man, wanting to help people the best he can, keeping a lot to himself as he tries his best to just live a normal life, as normal as it can be with all the nightmares and old habit. He still blames himself for not being able to save Yannis and Matthew, (where I also decided to work more on these two)

I cannot remember all the little changes, but he slowly grew throughout the years and it funny to look back at how much more depth he has now.

Evan & Ethan Matsui (+kuro) (previously Tatsuya and Tenbatsu)

I am 90% sure they are the “second” characters I created. They were inspired from two thing: twins oc a friend I had at the time had + Fruit Basket, or more specifically the cat zodiac part (for those who know).

Surprisingly they didn't changed too much, the demon is the one who did the most in a way. They were twins from a family stuck with a demon, needing a vessel to keep him “harmless”. The tradition was a weird “the purest and sweetest heart must be used, to 'appease' the demon”, and Ethan was just that. Evan begged to take his place because he sneak to see what the old vessel was like and saw how it would destroy the joyful person his brother was. So Evan ends up being the one stuck with Kuro, Ethan never leaving his side and wanting to protect him from the demon. Evan grows to be a rather solitary man, trying to stay away from people as much as people, only letting his brother close, despite scared that the demon would us him to get to Evan. Ethan grew to be a loving young man, doing his best to protect his brother.

They didn't changed too much, I most likely made them to be even closer, looking after each other and pretty dependant from on another. I added a little more depth and story around the curse, making it more logical, but also making the reason behind they close bond better.

Like I said, Kuro is the one who changed the most. At first he was an entity simply wanting to kill and be violent, trying to harm Ethan just so he could make an opportunity to take over Evan's body. Then he became this demon who's annoying Evan 24/7, trying to steal his body, but less by using Ethan as a mean to do so.

Now Kuro has grown to be this demon who once wanted to us Ethan as a pawn to his taking over the body, but ended up growing found of the young man (because of him also showing kindness to him despite it all). He's as much of an ass to Evan, having for objective to take over the body at some point, but not as much. The two even sometime agree to switch if its about a difficult situation Evan couldn't deal with.

So it pretty much went from the twins being against the demon, to the three of them having a weird relationship, not quit enemies, but not quit 100% trusting either.

Haru Sasaki

Of course, I just HAD to create a bad boy at the time. Of course I needed one. Haru's characters as changed a lot, but to be have more detail added to him and not to only be a bad boy.

He started as a teenager who became such a violent kid because that's what people expected from him. He hated and was hated by his mother because she had him at 17 (and kinda fucked over her life plan). And he was a loving brother. That was pretty much it, a kid missing his dad, who was violent and got into fight all the time, with no friend and love his sister a lot.

Then I decided to had in his hobby cooking, making him a great cook. That was a genius idea I had, because it became an important part of his characters and a goal I could give him (good job me).

Then I decided to had two other little delinquent to follow him around. At first I wrote it more as him letting them stick around out of just not being able to get ride of them, to changing it to him slowly warming up to them and taking care of them too since they aren't bad kid. Lets not forget him working in a flower shop with a sweet lady seeing the good in him.

Now this is what Haru is: someone who grew up with the expectation to become someone violent who cause trouble (he does, a lot), but who is actually really kind and a very protective brother, who aspire to be a cook on day with the encouragement of his sister, with two idiots for friend (but who just need some love too).

(note: also, somewhere towards the start of my rp with him, I made cherry his favourite aliment. Dunno how it became like this, I was often using this as his snack and it just... somehow became his whole thing. Cherries.)

Akainu Fuyuda & Kyosuke Hamada

They were probably created in similar times, as they pretty much go hand in hands.

Kyosuke started as a test subject who was there since he was born because of his telekinesis power, and Akainu was one of the nurse helping take care of him. I had made Kyosuke to be much more prone to have his sanity snap and want to kill people, where Akainu was a rather sadistic man with little to no regards to his test subjects. Their relationship was based on a mixed of interested for his art and power (for Akainu) and hate mixed with some want to absolutely annoy the shit out of the scientist (for Kyosuke).

Akainu is the one who changed to most, going from the sadistic and uncaring scientist for one who take care of his test subject as best as he can, who can't get along with his colleague (other than two) and who is overworked (an absolute workaholic also). Kyosuke is less of a wild one as he was, still an annoying little shit, but less in the “sanity goes bye bye” kind of way. He's tired of being tested one, but a routine as settle between them and Akainu tries to make it less bad. He will sometime snap if pushed pass his limits or when thing just get way too overwhelming, as a defensive mechanism.

Their relationship became less of a “I want to study/kill you” and more of a “We are both tired of this, but at this point it too late to change anything, but i'll still annoy the shit outta you”. Honestly the only consistent theme as been Kyosuke's dad hatred towards him for the loss of his wife.

Not gonna lie, I wonder how it would feel to write Akainu as a more sadistic man again, I realised that only after taking a look back at older stuck I wrote with him,

Alexy Leblanc

Oh boy this one was me going ape shit in the sadistic department, like I was really hard and angsty one some characters, but Alex? You'd believe I hated him or something (despite me very much loving this character). (tw: mention of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, skip to next character if this is too sensible for you)

So Alexy started as having the absolute worst life. Being physically beaten by his dad and his classmate, also being sexually abused by those two group. Like, the world was against him and somehow the teacher never found out or just didn't gave a single shit about it.

For a long time I made his treatment just a little bit worst, then I calmed it down a bit for something “more possible” where he was just bullied at school, yet had the same treatment from his dad.

Then, about a year ago, I decided “boy would it be nice to start making him feel nice” and despite his story basically being the same, he ain't stuck in this endless teenager cycle and I'm finally making him grow and slowly heal from his trauma with the help of a friend.

The story around him is the one who changed the most, as his character always stayed a rather quiet young man who was scared to get close to people In fear of getting punish for it. The change in that character is more of adding growing to him rather than actual change in the core of who he is.

Am still unsure where all this dark part came from, I suppose I needed that one character, as people around me also had character with rather deep, hard and dark stories. Am really happy to finally work on making him slowly heal from that, I feel like now this is something I would find more interesting to work on, rather than nonstop angst and abuse.

Kadir & Tamir (previously Kira & Ryu)

Tamir was the first one I created, he was actually a random character I drew in class before also created Kadir as someone who wanted to kill him. Their dynamic was inspired from what I saw of Izaya and Shizuo relationship (note “I saw” since I haven't read or watched drrr yet). It was pretty much Kadir hating Tamir and wanting to capture him as a bounty hunter, where Tamir was a pickpocket who would always play around with him.

Tamir started as a sneaky pickpocket who didn't care about anything but having fun and annoying people. Kadir started as a bounty hunter with great strength and anger issue. That was pretty much what they were and their relationship was very much just one-sided hate while the other is playing with the other anger.

Tamir stayed rather similar, despite his background story slowly building up more and see what his power actually are. He's still the demon who likes to joke around, steal stuff and cause problem. I'd say these part just became a stronger part of him, since he was just a random doodle at first he was rather plain. Kadir is still easy to anger, but it way less of being angry all the time. He's less always on Kadir trail as he was before and does so mainly when they meet or when he feel like he could finally win over him. His background as also evolve a lot.

They have a sort of frenemy kind of relationship, where they always fight together but don't actually hate each other (or at least not like it was at the beginning of their relationship).

Micha & Cyrus (previously ??? & Kiyoshi)

Micha is basically what happen when you give up another character and use their trope to create another one. I had a fallen angel before, but never actually did anything with it, so I created Micha.

He changed a lot over the time. He was first rather plain, being the owner of a bar somewhere (don't ask where, am as uninformed as you on that). Polite to client, yet distant about who he was with a vague past about how he became a fallen angel and why he didn't like heaven (basically being to what an angel is supposed to look like and being pushed aside a lot, he decided to do his best to get kicked out but not kill).

Then I gave him more depth, also throwing at him Cyrus, an amnesic angel who didn't remember who he was. Micha was then a little more friendlier, still not getting close to people, but still ready to help the people in the village he settled in. Cyrus was created as a very innocent and naïve characters (due to his amnesia), down to his design being rather innocent and cinnabun-ish.

Then in more recent time, Micha personality is pretty similar, but I also changed a little bit what his reason to be a fallen angel is (will be touch a little more if I finish my animatic :'D). He's more invested in the little village he settled in, rather found of the humans there. Cyrus changed a little more. He is a little less of a pure baby who's extra naïve and innocent. He's still rather naïve by time and clueless on some thing, but less child-like (even his design became a little more mature as an attempt to clash a little with his personality). Still a very kind and loving person tho.

Their relationship pretty much stayed the same, as Micha is still taking care of him and protecting him of potential danger as he did in the past.

Frederick Wilson (previously Frédéric ???)

Fred is also a rather old character of mine, yet his characters is somewhere between changed and not changed?!?

He started as a playboy who don't give a shit about people feeling, sleeping around a lot and legit every night in bars. That was the biggest part of his personality.

He is still playboy, love to party, drink and sleep around, but even if he still don't look for long term relationship, his less on the cruel “Am not making it clear, but it also your fault for getting your hopes up” and more on the “Yeah, no, am just looking for sex”. At least he's more honest on that point, still not a a good boyfriend, as he never take it seriously, only goes along for some times. Part of his motivation is not to follow in the step of his father and brother, who are men that don't take responsibilities and pretty much don't seem to care about people's feelings.

It shows better when I write him with his best friend, he's not as much of an ass as he seems to be.

Stanley Murphy (previously Shinji ???)

I'd like to say Stanley didn't change much, but it not exactly true? He was at first a young man who works as a waiter to show you can live just as well without high studies (I wasn't too much into the idea of “you much go to university to have a good life”). A good working young man, helping people when he can a living happily with his cat.

Somewhere along the line I made Frederick and Stanley to be best friends, don't ask how or why it came to be despite being rather different from one another, it just did and now I cannot separate them.

Stanley slowly grew to be the son of a rather wealthy family who had too much being pushed on him and part of what he decided was partly to rebel against his family, but also because he didn't actually had any goal in life. He's still a very hard working person, really loving of those who get to be close to him and who tries to live a good life. He's probably even one of the reason why Frederick didn't became an absolute garbage man.

Samuel Roy

Samuel is a cold hearted hitman, who became one rather young too. I feel like most of his characters just became the same, but push the button for more.

Insomniac, caffeinomane, misanthrope, don't really care who the target is (unless it's a kid, see later for Mike), live a lot day by day and knows he will most likely not die a painless and happy death.

That's the whole essence of Samuel, most of these were there when I first created him, I simply pushed some of those to an extreme. I still need to better his background story and how he ended up being a hitman.

I also added a second person who managed to get close to him, Michael Drake, who's a good friend of him and also his doctor when he ends up hurt out of what he can deal with. They lost touch when Samuel suddenly disappear and it took a couple of years before he finally learned what his job was, but ended up not telling anyone else and acting as if not knowing most of the time, under the promise that Samuel would never do anything to a child.

Samuel is a character I played a lot, but also one I really enjoy playing for some reason (There are a couple of character I really like playing).

======================

Damn I did only 14 characters, yet I have so many more (but a couple o those “didn't changed”, or at least not enough for really doing a part). I feel like this rambling didn't showed much how they changed, but I know they did (but mostly because am the god who created them).

Welp, hope y'all did understood my rambling, don't be shy and ask me anything if you are curious for more, my inbox is open for that.

#MY OCs #morgan is rambling #jack auchter #evan matsui #ethan matsui #haru sasaki #akainu fuyuda #kyosuke hamada #alexy leblanc #kadir #Tamir #micha #cyrus #Frederick Wilson #Stanley Murphy #samuel roy #oc development

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sftswigan · 4 years

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Manchester gutter punks, The Battery Farm, talk to us about horrific crime inspiring a song and how they just had to form this band...

We’ve got frontman/guitarist Ben from the band.

Alright Ben, can you tell us about the band. Who plays what and how the band got together?

Hallo! We are The Battery Farm, four gutter bastards from Manchester playing gnarly, seething punk rock music.

Ben Corry on Vocals and Guitar, Dominic Corry on Guitar, Paul Worrall on Bass, Sam Parkinson on Drums. Me and Dom formed this band from the ashes of a band we'd previously been in together for 8 years. At the point we formed The Battery Farm we were in a low place, feeling like failures, feeling defeated by this thing that we'd built for years just imploding, feeling angry and scared and hopeless at the utter state of the world. We basically decided to do this in the pub one night when we felt like we had absolutely nothing to lose. It was formed as a desperate reaction to two lives and minds spiralling out of control in a hostile, hateful world.

That must have been tough but, seems like it’s worked out well and the band from what I can tell is going from strength to strength. How soon did you find the remaining members, Paul and Sam? What have they brought to the band?

It has actually. Helpfully, it was a fertile environment from which to create. The first wave of songs - stuff like I Am a Man - are the purest distillation of that sense of lashing out, that sense of desperation we were feeling at the time.

We found Paul pretty much straight away. I'd known him for years through Manchester's Fringe theatre scene, having been in a couple of plays with him. He'd come to see me in a play, I knew he was a musician as well as an actor (although I don't think I'd grasped just how good he is), so I asked if he fancied playing bass for our new band. Sam we actually didn't know before the band, and it took a little longer to get him in. He works for the same company i do and I'd heard he was a drummer, so I got his contact details, asked him if he fancied coming for a rehearsal with us. It all clicked, and the rest is history.

Paul and Sam bring a massive amount to the band. They lift the songs me and Dom write and add a very particular combination of power and melody which you'll be hard pressed to come by very often. They're fucking ace and they know what is good for the song. No ego, no fucking about. They know what's important.

Sounds like you needed that new band to form quickly and to find drummer and bassist when you did you was very fortunate. I watched an interview of you and Dom recently and you talked about inspiration for songwriting and I was interested in where 97/91 came from. When it comes to writing where do you first look to for ideas?

Yeah we did, finding a drummer was comparitively difficult and I think if we'd have really struggled then we honestly would have just given up on it. 97/91 came about after I read an article about the murder of Suzanne Capper in Moston, north Manchester, which is where me and Dom grew up. I'm not going to go into details but if you look it up you'll see that it's the most horrific thing you've ever read. It stuck with me for weeks afterwards, and part of that was because I knew the streets where it had taken place and the community in which it had taken place. The houses it happened in - numbers 97 and 91 - are still there to this day. I got to thinking about why I reacted so viscerally to that story in particular; atrocities happen every day and we don't bat an eyelid, not really. It had such an impact because I was so familiar with the setting, so familiar with the type of person involved. It was too real. 97/91 explores the idea that we make a trade-off in our lives, one which enables cognitive dissonance that shields us from the impact the mass, relentless violence of the world. It also means that when something evil happens in a familiar setting the impact is much greater.

How can it only be real when you can see it? 97/91 isn't necessarily about the Capper murder itself, but the murder is a jumping off point to explore the faustian pact at the heart of the human condition, the one that keeps us sane but also ebbs away at our souls.

Our ideas just literally come from trying to explain our perspective on the world, we don't necessarily make a conscious effort to look in one place for ideas. We just write about whatever moves us. That can be mental illness, corrupt political systems, or the fact that I've never been to Gorton, which is literally the title of one of our new songs.

I find reading about crime stories really interesting, it’s madness what goes on in this world! This is one I’m not aware of but this must have been difficult to write about with it being so close to home? I love the anger and aggression in your music and lyrics.

You mentioned being an actor earlier, do you think this has an influence on your performance as a front man?

Yeah I went through a short phase of listening to true crime podcasts earlier this year but i had to stop bec it was all too grim. It was difficult to explore the ideas that particular incident led me onto but the endgame wasn't to just write about the murder itself, so I suppose keeping that in mind kept my head clear and made things easier.

Honestly, i try to keep any ideas of acting and theatre separate from the band. The actor thing can be frustrating at times because people conflate that with what I do in the band and think that everything must be a performance of some kind, which it isn't. The whole idea of putting The Battery Farm together was that it could give us an outlet to express ourselves honestly, and to me the stuff I do as a frontman is just an honest reaction to what I'm singing and what it makes me feel. I try not to overthink that aspect of it because I feel like to do so would water it down. It needs to be raw, it needs to be stark, it needs to be reality. If it's an actor's performance I'm not really getting anything out of it.

It’s amazing how reading/listening to one can lead on to another one. But yeah hard to shake off once you’ve learned about them.

You’re performance on stage seems very honest and I love to see in a frontman.

Moving on to the music scene...Manchester in particular is buzzing at the minute. Did the band find it easy to slot in? What’s been your favourite gig up to now?

We did actually. We knew a couple of people anyway from being in previous bands but until now I'd always found the Manchester scene a little unfriendly. It's totally different now. Not only is it overflowing with incredible, original, exciting new bands but it's also full of amazing people, and in the year we've been gigging we've made some wonderful friends. There's a proper sense of inclusivity and community, a lack of ego and aloofness that wasn't there before.

My favourite, and I think the others would agree with me, is our first headline set which was at The Peer Hat last November. It was an Abattoir Blues night and they're always amazing. The venue was packed to capacity and the atmosphere was electric. It was the kind of big, simmering sweatbox that seems impossible to imagine in the current climate. I want every gig we play to be like that one.

Yeah it’s great to see bands appreciating each other’s music and plugging their stuff on social media etc. I love going to Manchester for a gig. It’s a great time for guitar music in the UK at the minute with bands like Idles, Fontaines DC and Sports Team doing really well. And also The Blinders bringing album 2 out very soon!

That gig sounds like a great night!

When all this is over and we get some normality back...what are the bands plans?

Well, we're heading into the studio later this summer to begin work on... something. Beyond that it's hard to say because like everyone else we can't really make plans at the moment. Like everyone else we're pretty much having to make it up as we go along. We do have gigs booked for November and December but whether they'll happen or not remains up to fate. Everything going to plan, we may be in for an exciting end to the year. Maybe.

Gonna be very exciting for all bands and music once gigs/recording etc can happen again isn’t it.

Got so many new bands I want to see. Have you discovered any new bands during lockdown? If not, what have you been listening to?

Lockdown's actually been really fruitful in terms of new bands releasing amazing stuff. I've been listening to a lot of Tinfoils recently, they're a delight! Also been loving new stuff from Cold Water Swimmers, The Red Stains, Richard Carlson Band, The Maitlands, loads of stuff. I've also recently discovered John Shuttleworth, a comedy singer from Sheffield who does weird Phoenix Club-type songs about stuff like margerine and vans. I love stuff like that, real end of the pier nonsense.

I love Tinfoils and down to have them on here in Wigan but then lockdown came. The other bands I’m aware of too but not the solo artists you’ve mentioned.

Yeah Tinfoils are great. John Shuttleworth has been around for years i think. I can imagine he won't be to everyone's taste. Richard Carlson Band are actually named after the actor Richard Carlson, who was in The Creatire From the Black Lagoon. There is no Richard Carlson in that band! They're absolutely ace, they released their debut single a few weeks ago and I've had it on repeat.

I’ll be sure to listen to your recommendations, love finding new music to listen to.

We’re coming to the end of the interview now, I’ve just got a couple of questions. You’ll get two options, you pick one answer...

Winter or summer?

Sex Pistols or The Clash?

Roast dinner or Chinese?

Film or Book?

Winter

The Clash

Roast Dinner

Book

Thanks for having me! Hopefully see you soon

Thanks Ben for taking the time to chat to us. Hopefully we’ll cross paths at a gig soon.