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#weirdness at the tips) and I just haven't been bothered to do anything to it hghjg
wishluc · 10 months
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Hello! May I request yandere Adeuce duo who knows reader trust them the most among the other students and will believe everything they say.
Because why would they lie to you? They’ve been through life and death together with all of this overblot. So of course you trust them!
Adeuce manipulating reader into rejecting all of the dorm leaders after finding out their romantic feelings for the prefect.
They don’t want to lose their best friend. But hey! If you want to date so badly, you have two candidate right in front of you!
Thank you and have a great day!<3
I have a soft spot for Adeuce haha. Sticking to only Malleus instead of all the dorm leaders ♡
✧ CW: yandere characters, manipulation, jealousy
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An awkward silence has been hanging over your head since bumping into Malleus earlier, with Ace and Deuce being uncharacteristically pensive. The two of them have been sharing unreadable looks, but haven't said a single word to you. You want to break the growing tension with a clumsy joke to snap them out of their thoughts or change the subject into something lighthearted, but deep down you really don't want to face their line of questions about Malleus.
But when the three of you finally find some space to yourself, the dam breaks and the questions come gushing out.
"You're seriously friends with that guy? Malleus Draconia, of all people?!"
You stare at the scuffed tip of your shoe, pretending like Ace's intense reaction hardly bothered you.
"Yes?" You lift your head, eyes flitting between Ace's prominent scowl and Deuce's startled gaze, "Why's that so surprising?"
"He's known for being pretty unapproachable, right?" Deuce awkwardly chimes in, "It's just strange that you managed to get close to him."
"I didn't really know who he was when we first met," you admit, and you have to force yourself not to shrink away under Ace's sharp glare, "and it doesn't change anything for me, anyway. He's a really nice person to be around, even if he does take some getting used to."
"How'd you even meet him? I don't think I've ever caught a glimpse of him around all this time," Ace asks, his voice a little calmer now, "do you see him often?"
"He was walking around Ramshackle one night, and we just started talking about magic and some other things. He didn't even tell me his name," you explain, "I really had no clue that it was him. Besides, he doesn't come by very regularly, maybe about once a month...? I'm not sure."
"So he loiters around Ramshackle at night, and didn't tell you his name at all, right? That just sounds really creepy," Ace says, suspicion clear in his tone, "And, I mean, if you two are friends, or close enough for him to be using all sorts of weird names for you, why didn't he ever try to help you out with the overblots anyway? He knew it was all happening, and he obviously heard you were involved, and it's clearly in his ability to help you, so..."
"Ace," Deuce hisses, nudging him harshly, "we can't expect the upperclassmen to meddle in things that aren’t their responsibilities."
Ace rolls his eyes, "I'm just saying," he mutters, "it's not like it was any of our issues to deal with either. We did everything we could, right? It wouldn't be so difficult for him to make sure we didn't go through hell and back tryin' to defeat all those crazy guys. Honestly, with how things are going, I won't be surprised if the guy's next to overblot."
Deuce opens his mouth to protest, but your sigh stops him, "I don't think he cares all that much.”
Ace freezes for a moment, the frown slipping off his face as his eyes dart towards Deuce. But just as quickly as he's caught off guard, he quickly regains his composure, looking at you with just a hint of sympathy, "well, that figures. You can't expect all those arrogant—" Deuce's protests go unheard "—seniors to actually want to be around us. They all probably think they're too good for us, 'cause we aren't as powerful."
You like Malleus, but you know better than to expect his help in any of the troubles you face in NRC. Maybe he would help, if you pleaded with him, but the likeliness of that is so close to non-existent that you’d rather not ask at all. You would rather keep your friendship how it’s always been, pretending to be unaware of the other’s troubles outside of the current conversation, never delving too deep with the questions. You’ve always known that it's a possibility Malleus was only coming to see you out of boredom, and not because of genuine interest, but hearing your innermost doubts be declared so boldly as an obvious fact makes your heart shatter. Deuce catches onto your crestfallen expression first, always far too observant, and places a tentative hand on your arm.
"It's alright," you've always liked the way Deuce says your name, in a low, soft voice. It sounds like he's gentle with the letters, stringing them together in a deliberate manner that fits you. You've also noticed, internally filled with pride, that it's only your name he says with such care, "I'm sure he cares about you too..."
He meets Ace's sharp glare and stumbles over his next words, sounding more and more unsure by the end of it, "...even if his...way of showing it is a little…unusual. He’s probably just got a strange idea of how friends are."
"Friends?" Ace scoffs, "he's treating them like a pet. Did you even see how he looked at them? All amused like he didn't expect to see them still doing alright. He probably thought it was funny that they hadn't figured out who he was!"
A pet. What a miserable label, but how fitting. Suddenly the insightful discussions and meaningful moments feel painfully one-sided. He must have thought your wonder and awe to be cute, in an awfully condescending way. And perhaps the thing that hurts the most is knowing that despite how much you look forward to seeing him and how much you think of him, soon, you would only be a small moment from his past, likely forgotten.
“I can’t believe I fell for him, too,” you groan, unaware of how Ace and Deuce immediately go still, “I feel so stupid.”
“You like him?!” Ace’s head whips back to stare at your crouched figure with wide eyes, “like…that?”
A hesitant nod is the only answer you can spare.
“But you barely knew anything about him! How—”
“Are you sure?” At your bewildered look, Deuce scrambles to elaborate, “I thought I—we—would be able to tell when you liked someone, since we’ve been around you for so long. But there was nothing to give it away.”
“I’m sure,” you sigh, but when you think of telling them how Malleus makes you forget all the things you wanted to say or how you find yourself thinking of him all the time, you decide it’s too embarrassing to say out loud, “listen, it’s not something I can explain. But I really do like him—or did, I guess.”
“Huh,” Ace slumps down beside you, “never would’a thought you’d have such terrible taste. I mean, seriously? He’s boring and a total creep.” He manages to dodge your incoming elbow jab just in time, “What? It’s the truth!”
“It’s not your fault that he turned out to be a jerk,” Deuce consoles you, “don’t worry about it. You can’t help how you feel.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” you grumble, “I’ll get over it, eventually.”
“You will,” You can’t help the smile that appears on your face after seeing Deuce’s reassuring one, “we’ll make sure of it.”
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all works © wishluc. do not copy, steal or repost my works on other platforms. (including translations)
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cripple-culture-is · 10 months
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this might be a very weird question bc i dont know how to word this but. i have tmj and im pretty sure i have hypermobility joint syndrome (not diagnosed?, my family has a history of it) but im not sure how to bring it up and a doctors appointment is expensive. its currently at a point where im constantly in some form of pain, especially in my knees and my fingers- im trying to save up for compression gloves or knee braces bc the pain is so overwhelming. everyone i know is able bodied so i dont really have anyone to go to for advice, where do you think i should go from here?? (sorry if this is a bother!! feel free to delete this i know its a lot)
This is a difficult one to answer. I'm honestly not that knowledgeable about the diagnostic process for a lot of conditions, mostly because I was diagnosed with my issues so young that my mom and grandma did all the work. I haven't officially been diagnosed with anything since, even though I believe I have undiagnosed issues (an autoimmune thyroid condition being one of those).
Have you brought it up with your family at all? You could tell them that you've been experiencing symptoms.
Just because you're undiagnosed doesn't mean you don't have a certain condition. Unless it becomes a severe issue, you don't have to get diagnosed right away, especially since you may not be able to afford it. Remember that diagnoses can take a very long time in some cases. Sometimes they even take decades. I was diagnosed quickly, but that was because my family already had experience and my grandma and mom are very stubborn and fought for me.
I'd recommend bringing it up to your family. If you can't get diagnosed, maybe try speaking with those in your family who have that condition, if possible. Get their advice, their perspective, ask about their experience, etc. Do some online research on it and ways you can help yourself. Go onto social media and search for people who have that condition.
And if you think some sort of aid will help you, definitely save up for one. You don't need a diagnosis to get things that will help you. Plenty of undiagnosed disabled people buy themselves mobility aids in order to help them. So if you firmly believe that something is wrong with your joints, don't let your lack of a diagnosis control you and stop you from doing something to help yourself.
Diagnoses are a thing of the modern era. Diagnoses like we have now haven't always existed. Modern medicine isn't as old as many people think it is. And many of these conditions are lesser known. Which means that even if you were able to go to a doctor, medical gaslighting is still possible, even for those who actually have a diagnosis.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with multiple disabilities, multiple chronic illnesses who was told by a doctor that she was faking, even though she has a bunch of diagnoses. So that's just one of many obstacles you could run into when attempting to get a diahnosis.
I hope this helps
If anyone else has any tips for this user, please comment 😁
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childofaura · 8 months
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Any thoughts on Resplendent Palla? It may have been another Ljosalf outfit but I thought the art looked really nice.
I feel bad, because I DO like Ljosalfheimr Resplendents. I really do.
BUT WE NEED A BREAK FROM THEM!!!
And something tells me we'll get a break once we wrap up Book 7, they'll be more inclined to use Vanaheimr Resplendents for the girls. My other problem is that not a single male character has been chosen to be drawn in Ljosalfheimr garb. Sure we get male Jotunn garb, but where's my Ljosalfheimr Leon/Laslow? Where's my Dokkalfheimr men (I can't think of any right now but there should STILL be some Dokkalfheimr men!!!)?
But anyways, Resplendent Palla, drawn by Saine:
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The incorporation is really nice and it's super cute. I like the use of the daisies, it's an ordinary common flower but in that way, it adds charm to the outfit. The flower petal chest, gloves, and skirt are also really nice and actually remind me of a flower called leucojum that grows by my house (flowers with green tips but they usually have a little spot on the ends). The butterfly adornments are really nice, and finally the green dress and the boots are a nice shade of green. I don't think we've gotten a whole lot of Ljosalfheimr outfits where green is the main color (Besides L'arachel's), so I appreciate this design. Oh, also the wings are pretty.
Saine's artwork is really great, and it's a shame we haven't seen anything from them since. Palla's hair flows so beautifully even in the neutral portrait, and the posework in the others is pretty cute. Minor gripe might just be how young Palla looks, since she's supposed to be the older sister, but it doesn't bother me too much. Also the expressions, my goodness they're too adorable. Saine needs to draw more characters. Maybe if we get Legendary Mist they should draw her.
Now this is a little weird, but... I don't actually know if Ljosalfheimr would really fit Palla. Ljosalfheimr just seems to be the default for girly characters, and I kind of wish I could see them expand a bit beyond that perspective. Like... It doesn't NOT fit, but maaaaybe explore Jotunn for Palla? She IS the oldest sister, and like Dagr and Nott having to re-learn to be there for each other, Palla is constantly doing her best to establish that she's the protector. So it's fine, but it also feels like a cop-out.
Overall, I'd give this a 9/10. I think the Ljosalfheimr being overused hurts the score a little bit (which I know isn't necessarily the outfit's fault), but it's a good Resplendent nonetheless.
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carlyraejepsans · 2 years
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hey, sorry for bothering you but i'm seriously considering starting to draw digitally (i have never drawn before except for when i was a little kid). i love your art so i was thinking if you would maybe give me some tips? about anything, really. like if i should at first just purely focus on the basis and nothing else, graphic program recommendations (preferably free or cheap ones since i'm not 100% sure if i'll actually keep drawing long-term), etc.
just anything that you think would be useful for me.
thank you a lot in advance
OOOH BOY where to start (。・//ε//・。)
it partly depends on whether you already know how to draw a little. I'm not saying you have to be good at it, but if you've already put some work into your traditional skillz it's going to help. oh also, if you do have some tradart background and you switch to digital? be prepared because with your first few drawings it's either going to be the best you've ever drawn or it's gonna feel like you're picking up a pencil for the first time in your life all over again. both of these stages are temporary, and generally settle on an equal middle ground in a few days, at least until your hand's gotten used to the medium
my FIRST chance at digital art? drawing with my finger on my phone. it's far from ideal, as you can probably guess, but it got the job done while i played around with the things only digital art could do. the next step, still on mobile devices, was getting one of those pens for writing on your phone. no pressure sensitivity, accuracy was still shite, but it did allow me to draw in a way that was more similar to how i drew traditionally. try to check if your device has compatibility with digital pen accessories, you might get one that's a bit more sophisticated than literally just a tube with a flat nib that works through normal touchscreen. i bought the sketchbook app back when it was still property of Autodesk. I haven't updated it since, so i have no idea how the new company is handling it, but it was a pretty solid app when i used it
if you already want to go full drawing tablet then DO NOT, for the love of god, DO NOT buy a screen tablet. i promise, drawing on a screenless one is in no way harder or more unnatural, you hand-eye coordination adapts to it very quickly. they're super cheap compared to screen tablets, more portable and better suited for a beginner. my first serius tablet was a wacom intuos back in the time when wacom partnered with clip studio paint, which was a DEAL because now i have a lifetime access to it despite having bought the tablet years ago and the PRO version of the program costing like 50 fucking dollars. definitely keep your eyes peeled if they do anything like that again because it's very much worth it, but if they don't you can also choose a cheaper brand. fuck wacom, go small corp.
for pc/laptop art programs your best bet in the open source scene is 100% krita. it has a couple of unique settings that make it weird to draw on for people who are used to "standard" professional art programs (which is the reason I don't go back to it anymore), but if you have no experience with any other art program, then absolutely go check it out, it won't be an issue. it's got a thriving community that keeps updating and adding stuff, so they're not gonna drop you off out of nowhere. as for the drawing itself? once again that's gonna depend on where in your art journey you are. it's been wayy too long for me to remember good videos for absolute beginners, but if you've got some of the bases down then proko and sinix design are some of the best teachers i can recommend wholeheartedly. i do have a couple more people on YouTube in mind, but I haven't seen their work in a while, so i wouldn't wanna risk sending you in the wrong direction.
one final tip that's worked out very well for me. y'know what's one of the best things you can watch? drawfee. animator vs cartoonist. pros animating in gartic phone. not only because karina and julia are the funniest motherfuckers on earth, but because seeing people's drawing process in real time (coupled with the sense of companionship of watching a group of friends have fun for your entertainment) actually puts you in the mindset to draw yourself and lets you study their work in a way that simply viewing the finished product never could.
trace trace trace, trace references, trace photos, trace art you like (but don't post it) and do it smartly ie try to figure out WHAT you're tracing, the shapes you're actually putting on paper and how they interact with one another and their environment. take your time, experiment with different techniques, take a break when you need to, watch your neck and back posture, draw from your your shoulders, not your wrist, those 30s "do this and this and this to draw this thing" style tutorials that don't explain the thought process behind those passages are a scam so fuck em, make mistakes make SO MANY MISTAKES, then learn from them, grow from them and make some more.
oh, and have fun, of course.
welcome to art :D
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sinnershavesoulstoo · 3 months
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I bitch and complain here all the time, but this is from an actual desktop - so it's like Ramble Bitching 2.0. Fast typin', fast thinkin', I don't know what is going to come out of these finger tips today. Because I have a lot of weird energy.
I'm tired and I know that I say I'm tired all the time, but I'm just. Exhausted. I know that nothing happens unless you make it happen, but I try to make it happen all the time and I always come up short.
I don't want to be the person who always talks about how it's not fair, but it's not fair?
I'm not even thirty yet and I feel like my life is already over because I can't afford to live. I live with my mother and my cat. I live in a 30+ year old trailer that is falling apart. We have two bathrooms, but one of them has a rotten floor and we haven't used it since 2016, at least. The other bathroom is through my mom's room, so any time I need to use the toilet or shower I have to go through her room. From where the floor is rotting, the floor in the adjacent room (the computer room) is also starting to rot.
There's a hole in the ceiling in the living room. We don't have actual curtains in any of the rooms except for my mothers room and the living room. I have tapestries hanging off of a rod in my room and this room has nothing. The bedrooms are all half painted because I can't reach the top bits because I'm too short and nobody will lend us a ladder. Underneath our house is a hellscape. There is stuff under there from when my dad lived here and it's all rotten and messed up and if you didn't know where it had come from, or that it was already there - you'd think someone was living under there. And to make it worse, we have a lock on the outside, so it looks like we're trapping someone under there. Which isn't true.
Our pipes are bad. We have plumbing problems all the time. Most recently, the pipe in the well cracked. Now we have dirt in our water, so I can't drink my tap water. I have to buy bottled. Which is dumb because I shouldn't have to buy water if I have water.
We can't wash laundry and take a shower on the same day because our pipes can't handle it. The sink in the kitchen is leaking and I hate doing dishes because they're not mine and I shouldn't have to do them all the time, but mother complains that she's not doing them for the same reason. I use one bowl, one frying pan, one plate, one mixing bowl, and disposable 'silverware'. That's not all that's in the sink? There are a ton of other things that I wouldn't even use. So I don't know why she thinks that it's my problem.
I have my medical billing and coding certificate and I should be able to get a job with that but I'm not even sure I want to because I've been doing webinars for it and I don't know what the fuck is going on. I guess I'm just trying to keep it updated in case something comes along and they're super nice and understanding and want to help me learn.
I have two friends in this world. The guy at work and Meggy. And I feel weird and guilty messaging GAW and Meggy has shit going on and I don't want to bother her. And partially, selfishly, I don't want to text her because I know I'll be roped into her relationship drama and I don't want to be.
It's like everything I do and nothing I do matters all at the same time.
I don't want to feel like I have nothing to live for at this age. I should have at least made more mistakes to get me here, I should have done something to make me feel this bad. But...unfortunately, this is just how it is now. I don't know what it means to be happy anymore? Like. Do I? I smile, I laugh, but it feels superficial. It feels like I'm just doing it because I know what it is, not because I actually feel it.
I want to be better and I want to feel better and I want to do better. Everything happens in its own time, sure. But I'm tired of waiting, but I can't do anything but wait.
And related, unrelated. One of the most annoying things. I don't have a car because I'm poor and have nobody to help me learn how to buy one. There are so many people with so many different opinions on what I should buy and when I should buy. It gets on my nerves when people don't take into account that I don't have enough money for a down payment right now and that I don't want a huge payment - but they're telling me I need to buy a car and I need to buy it now. Because, unless you want to buy me a car - butt out of my life. I hate that so much. Everyone at work knows that my mother drives me to work because I don't have a car. And every single person has an opinion on that.
"You should buy a car", "Don't get a new car", "You're almost 30? Shouldn't you be driving by now?", "You need your independence", "Your mom is going to die one day and what will you do then? The bus doesn't come out this far."
I know all of this. I literally know all of this. I hear it all the time so even if I didn't, you're not the first person to say something to me about it. I wasn't raised with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was raised fighting for my life. Kind of. We've been poor my entire life. I remember going to the flea market to sell stuff because we weren't making it on what jobs my parents had. I remember not having food some days. I remember never being popular or fitting in because I looked poor. I remember once I got my first job and having to help my mom with the bills because she was barely able to pay them before. I remember buying my own cellphone, my own clothes, my own everything. I support myself mostly. But I can't support myself on my own.
Although broken down and trashy, I live in a house that's fully paid off. Which, my grandad paid for, or we wouldn't have it. I can't afford a house in this economy. I can't afford much at all in this economy. The world is a scary place and I have to do it by myself.
For a long time I thought if I could just hold on, someone would see me and like me and want to be nice and good and I could move forward and move in with them and marry them and escape this life. But. I can't. There was Jacob. And he fully believed we were going to be a super long term thing. But...I just wasn't feeling it. I was resentful a lot in the last bit of our relationship. I didn't want to have sex with him and he made me feel guilty about it, so I just did because it was easier that dealing with him pouting. I told him a few times that I just didn't want to anymore and it wasn't really doing anything for me. He never used lube, so it always hurt and always burned. He barely knew how to use a condom and sometimes it would snap because of how forceful he was about putting it on, but he'd still want to. He wasn't physically aggressive about it? But manipulative about it?
Then I thought that Dusty was a good guy. LOL A huge joke on me. I don't even know what the fuck was going on with me at that point in my life. I've blocked most of it out because I don't know if I wanted any of it to happen and it makes me feel weird and self conscious. I went out to dinner with him and I thought that's what might happen, but once we got there I didn't want it anymore. He didn't ask me? He just did. And the entire ride home just felt. Dirty. And thinking back on it. He was just a little fucker. Because I'm remembering this time, after that happened, Jacob and I were 'mending our relationship' (AKA I felt too bad about breaking up with him so I just let him believe nothing was wrong...) and Jacob had gone on break and said he'd be outside, but I needed to get someone to cover me for me to go, and Dusty came up front and I don't remember what happened exactly, but I think he asked me where Jacob was. And he went outside to 'talk' to Jacob. Once I finally got someone to take my position, I was so keyed up and worried about what they were talking about. I went outside and they hadn't really been talking about anything. And I remember Dusty specifically said, "Oh yeah, your girlfriend is a piece of work." And he like...made it a point to remind everyone I was dating Jacob. And Jacob was confused about what happened. And then at the end of the year (this happened in November) I do a memory jar and one of the things I had written was 'fucked dusty' and Jacob saw it. I know he did because he questioned me and I lied my way out of it. I said that's just really bad cursive and it says 'fucking dusty' because of some story I made up about how he was funny. I don't know. And then I was having Dusty come over when I was still dating Jacob under the guise of friendship. Again, you guys have to remember I live with my mother. He would bring me dinner a lot of the time and we would hang out in my room and he would finger me. I sucked him off a couple of times, but it was mostly him doing stuff to me. And him and Jacob became really good friends during all of this. Meanwhile, he's fucking around with the girlfriend and another girl at work. Then he eventually...well. I don't know. He slept with the other girl at work and compared me to her a lot. And I'm not trying to be mean - but she was bigger than I was and that messed me up a lot. Because I have body dysphoria and I'm not actually sure what I look like, but I don't know if I'm fat or not? I wasn't fat at the time. I weighed 140 pounds and didn't wear a bra because my boobs were so small and my stomach wasn't past them if that gives you an idea of how big I was. But when he compared me to her it broke me a little more than it should have. And maybe that was his goal? To break me all the way down? I don't know. He was 19 at the time. I don't know if he would have been that type of person. He always bragging about how smart he was and how he was homeschooled and how his IQ was super high. So maybe he was? Any who - back to what I was saying. He slept with this girl and her super religious family found out about it and then he got roped into proposing to her. I saw the ring. I saw them at work. She eventually told her family that isn't how she wanted to live and she liked someone else and Dusty was just a mistake. So then she ended up getting married to the other guy and has 2 or 3 kids now. But after this entire thing...I don't remember what happened.
I quit? I think I quit my job. Because I was going to school when COVID was first a thing and had to stop going to in person classes - and Dusty would come all the way to my college to eat lunch with me on his hour lunch break. And Jacob would pick me up and I would just pray they wouldn't see each other in the parking lot.
And none of this makes me a bad person, but am I a bad person for missing Dusty more than Jacob?
I dated him for two years and the entire two years I told him we had nothing in common and I constantly questioned why he even liked me. He never had a real answer. I did whatever I did with Dusty for like 6 months. My time line could be off. I'm going to look back through my other blog and see if I can get a better definitive timeline.
On January 9, 2018 - I had been dating Jacob for 3 months. So I started dating him October 7, 2017. I know we dated when I changed jobs because he came there once and it was weird. And I got that job.....in 2019? In June? July? And COVID really started hitting in December here and that's about when we stopped going to classes and did virtual because I remember it happening right before Christmas break. So. When was I doing shit with Dusty? 2018? I deleted all of my messages with him because Jacob was nosey and looked through my phone all the time and I was afraid he'd find them, even though he was in my phone as DJ. Which is a weird thought I hadn't had in a while. And as I'm thinking about it I check my phone to see if it's still in there and it is. I should call him. No. I'm not that dumb. It's been 5 years lol what the fuck was that thought even about right there. It's 4am that's what that thought was. I wish I had kept all of our texts. We truly were friends. We talked on the phone a lot and I cried a lot. I remember when I had broken up with Jacob one time, it was really ugly. He was at my house and I told him and he made it really weird. And he was like, 'Just one more kiss before I leave' and he made me kiss him while he was sobbing on my couch. And he eventually left. It was just fucking weird. And I was so upset about the entire thing. The breaking up, the weirdness, the thought of having to deal with him at work, and him telling people how mean I was to him by breaking up with him - and then Dusty called me. I told him Jacob was coming over and he knew what time he normally left. So he called me to check on me. And I was putting stuff that Jacob had given me in a box and I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. And Dusty asked me what I was doing. I told him I wasn't doing anything. And he said, "I know what you're doing. Just stop. Take a breath. And talk to me." And I did. And it helped. And we talked all night. Jacob usually left around 10:30 and I had to work the next day and I don't remember going to bed, but I did and I fell asleep on the phone and when I woke up he was still there. He brought me breakfast that day. Off the clock. He just dropped it off for me and left.
As Teenage Dirtbag starts playing.
I'm older than he is by the way. Both of them. Jacob was 2 years younger than me and Dusty...was? 18/19. And I was. 23/24? At the time. I've always felt weird about that as well. How did I let someone who was 6 years younger than me make me feel so bad and manipulate me into weird shit.
What's he like now? He's 23/24 now. Crazy. Is he still a dirtbag? Is he a normal adult? He has no reason to remember me or anything that happened, but does he? If he saw me out in public, would he recognize me? I really do look like that other girl now. I've gained a lot of weight since I worked with him.
lol I was just talking to GAW about how some times I just really feel like I want to cry but I can't because I'm always doing something that needs non-tear filled eyes. Who knew that it would take me admitting that I miss Dusty and I miss him more than Jacob that would make this happen. I mean, literally. It's been half a decade. I guess I have the pleasure of knowing that next year it'll be the seven years that it takes for a body's cells to fully regenerate. But until then, I guess I'm stuck holding onto every last cell that remembers him.
I should just let laying dogs lie. I decided to look back through some old posts and now I'm sad. I reread about the time I was in the freezer and got groped and how E responded to me. And now I miss her. Most of the time I don't even think about her anymore. But deep down, I miss her a lot. We were friends for nearly 10 years. This year would have been ten. And I think we just grew apart. But that doesn't make it easier.
What is my problem? I am? Something. I'm not running people off, they're just leaving in their due time.
I've made myself more sad because I looked up all of my posts with any similar tags to the ones I would have used and there were some. My favorite (most detrimental) was the one where I quoted Dusty saying, "I'd take you home and keep you forever if I could" - he said this when I was crying one day. And I thought it was sweet.
I want to get off of the Dusty train now. So one last lil blep. How do I get over this? He wasn't nice or good in the end, but I remember him for the good he did. And it makes me sad, but I don't want to associate the good parts with the bad parts, but maybe that's the problem. I need to see both and then I'll be over it?
Why do you guys think I don't like myself?
I complain here all the time, you'd assume you would have some opinions on it. I need to work on my confidence and I do really need to get a car. I'm working on it. A lot of tarot readings I've been getting lately have been mentioning getting a car in March and big changes happening in March. But? I don't know what it could be alluding to. Because I'm not going to have that kind of money by then.
I've been looking into the 'I am' method of manifesting. I forget what it's called. But I watched a video about this man saying he wished he were somewhere else and a friend of his told him to say 'I am there' - and eventually he ended up there.
I need to love myself and I need to get over myself. I am enough and I am good and I am lovable. I am.
It's 5am now and I've honestly been coming and going on this post since after 10pm. I've had to take a few cry breaks and a pizza break. So I'm going to go to bed because I have a lot of shit to do today and I think I should get some sleep.
This is about the length of an extremely concise novella. If any of you read all of this - cool. Thanks. I love you.
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timeoverload · 4 months
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I thought I was going to have an easy day but unfortunately I didn't. I only had 9 eye cases so I guess that was nice. They still didn't get done with those until after 4 because the last one took a couple hours. There were 70 cases all together on our side of the hospital so it was pretty busy. I wrapped so many total pans. I wrapped a set of 15 pans just for one surgery and most of them were "hold" pans which means they probably won't even use them. It took almost 2 hours to inspect them and wrap them because I was trying to do other things at the same time. It's also frustrating that some doctors request like 20 pans for a surgery and others can do the same procedure with 3 pans. There are so many different systems that do the exact same thing but they are from different vendors so some sets have more instruments than others. I'm constantly having to learn new sets and I had to do that earlier.
I actually got a chance to talk to the director about that guy who has been bothering me and he said he will handle it. I know he is taking the situation seriously so that made me feel better. That girl who came to me for advice admitted that she is still talking to him and it made me angry. She has been lying to everyone. I hate being lied to. I think she is going to have to find out the hard way that he's not a good guy. I'm discouraged because I really wanted to help her. I can't help her. I don't really want to continue talking to her unless it's about something work related. I guess I'm not going to worry about that situation anymore. I don't want anything to do with that mess.
I was having a really tough time getting around today so I'm glad I didn't have to run around a bunch like I usually do. I almost fell down the stairs when I was leaving this morning. Sometimes I have to hold on to things so I don't tip over. I probably should start taking the elevator more often at work. My co-worker told me I should pull up in a wheelchair next week. I wish I could sometimes. I want to be able to take my cane to work but I don't know how I'm supposed to carry things while using it. I would have to clean it constantly. I would probably get some weird looks from people too. I don't know why it bothers me or why I feel ashamed to use it. I think I might try to use it more at home so I don't hurt myself. I need to find it first but I'm afraid to try to get out of bed. I hope I feel better after resting for a couple of days.
I had to stay an hour late and I'm tired. I'm a little crabby right now. I am planning on going to bed early. I wanted to play video games or something but I don't know if I want to be on the computer that long. I am going to have to run errands tomorrow and I want to get up early. I still haven't heard anything about my glasses so I really hope they arrive tomorrow or I'm going to be a little disappointed. I don't want to wait another week but I will survive even if I don't get them tomorrow. I think I need to make myself get up now and get ready for bed. I hope tomorrow is a good day.
I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow!!! Thank you for trying to cheer me up and I appreciate all the love. :) 💖💖💖
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scandiengbergs3 · 2 years
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Hello! I am trying to get an update squeezed in here because there sure is a lot to update on!
So, while the kids and I were at Skansen on Monday midday, and Eric had stayed home alone back in the Stockholm suburb where we were staying because he wasn't feeling tip-top, he texted me to say that he'd taken a Covid test ... and it came back positive! So of course this threw a real wrench in all of our plans and we were very concerned!
So the kids and I stopped for what we were doing, put on our masks, and made our way directly back to the Airbnb so we could test and see whether we came back positive too. Luckily, the weather was very mild, so Eric was able to stay outside. But we knew that it was likely that the die was already cast because we'd all been together for so many days.
But, of course, in the sort of panic mode that we were in, when the kids' and my tests came back negative, we decided that the kids and I would hit the train to Gothenburg immediately on Monday night, rather than Tuesday afternoon, so Eric could quarantine alone in the Stockholm Airbnb. We did lots of internet consultation and talking with Michelle back in the U.S. who is my go-to expert on these sorts of things. We basically could have taken two routes: we could have all stuck together and let the situation develop as it would, or we could separate and let Eric quarantine for 6 days or 5 days, depending on when you start counting. We decided on the latter route, which now, in retrospect, probably wasn't the best idea.
In talking to Michelle I came to understand that these newer variants of Covid are, for many people (of course not *all*) very mild for healthy people, like a cold, and like a cold also they work their way through households. So it was likely that the kids and I would come up with something.
Anyway, the kids and I arrived to Gothenburg close to midnight on Monday and, sure enough, the next morning I had a bit of a sore throat but nothing else bothered me. But we needed to be in Gothenburg to pick up the Volvo, the whole purpose of the trip, on Wednesday so since arriving to Gothenburg, the kids and I have been double-masking whenever we've been out but otherwise we've felt well. My sore throat has subsided & I basically feel fine ... just a little post-nasal drip.
People think we're totally weird for wearing masks at all because, I think, with Sweden's very casual approach to Covid from the get-go, they just think the virus will circulate however it will and people just need to go about their normal lives, which has been their approach for the last two years, which is in stark contrast, as we all know, to how the U.S. has gone about things.
My friend Ryley in Norway was sharing information with me about how Norway and Sweden have absolutely no quarantine requirements now after a positive test. Their only guideline is to stay home if you don't feel well.
It is so hard to know what to do in these Covid times, and some reading this will think we should've taken another course, but we're trying to be as cautious as we can and be responsible when we're out and about by wearing double masks and basically looking out for our own symptoms, which happily haven't been much of anything! We hope things with our health don't take a turn for the worse, but luckily the kids and I are doing well and Eric is getting through his fatigue and runny nose, which have almost entirely abated.
Anyway, we're trying to walk the middle ground between U.S. policy and Scandinavian policy. Eric will be at the end of day 5 of quarantine tomorrow night and the plan is, if he's feeling like his normal self, for him to rejoin us as we get back to Stockholm to load the new Volvo onto the ferry to head to Helsinki. Luckily we have two cabins in the ferry booked anyway, so he can stay in one and the kids and I can stay in another.
More soon!
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violetsystems · 2 years
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I've been posting to other social media sparingly now that they are no longer locked. I don't really post or browse too much to keep the algorithms less noisy. Reappearing after two years is weird especially after you've been through as much dark stuff as I have. Everybody down here who reads knows the narrative. I posted an old mixtape in an effort to generate some more sales on bandcamp. Instagram is the worst for nostalgia. At least on Facebook people just ignore you completely. It's all people who think they know my entire story when it comes to music and adolescence. People I haven't talked to for years. They're so proud of themselves in the comments. These are like people who enabled my ex to spiral into drug abuse. People who are still best friends with my ex boss who know full well didn't just "drop out" of employment. People from an all ages club in Homewood called Off the Alley where my first band fought and protested against skinheads. It's not a time that is especially lucrative to reminisce about. No one is clicking a button to buy music. They're just standing around talking on my Instagram claiming in not so many words to be affiliated with the FBI. I wouldn't doubt it, mind you. But why would I want to network and connect with people who know so little about my present? And why are these people from my past so hellbent on reappearing and setting the record straight about me. Nostalgia is as much as a cult for old people as most other cults in America. Like I need their clarity. I need a job. I need a new source of income at some point. And all I ever do is get socially engineered on the internet. I know I'll make it through. But if anyone ever wondered why I left all of it behind to live a quiet life, it shouldn't be brain surgery. The quality of these people over the years is shit. When you call them out on the mediocrity I do agree it gets worse the more you argue and provide discourse. But why is it ok that everyone gets to speak about me without me having a voice in it? It's like I'm already dead and everyone is stuck talking about the past I'm buried in. It isn't really my fault that I can't be recognized for one good, productive thing without people talking over me all the time. So that's why I don't bother talking at all. I just write. The pay is shit. But that's probably because the contracts I sign that never deliver on pay are just another level of fraud. Thanks LinkedIn. That and nobody tips on Tumblr. Not solicitation or anything just a fact of life. I don't have an answer for it anymore. I'm just supposed to sit here and whistle to myself until the Wikileaks blow themselves. Nostalgia isn’t just a cult for some people in America. It’s a whole other psyop altogether.
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mysterious wizard aesthetics but Warmb And Confy..... 
#ghgh no costumes or anything recently since I've been evil and utterly unproductive as of late - but here's an outfit of the day#I guess hgjhgjh#my one single holiday gift lol .. Giant Fluffy Sweater... (though I think the person who got it bought it from amazon#or something I think so... hhhh.. jeff bezos rot in hell you shitty molerat bastard.. but otherwise.. lol)#ANYWAY... I know this is meant to wear around the house but.. I would legit just wear it out on public transport doing errands and stuff if#the pandemic were ever to be over#my 1 favorite color is white. and 2 is tied with pastel blue and light gray.. + I love soft things + star imagery + glwing stuff#so... white and gray....perbfecte.....#though it's still kind of cheap I guess because it's Staenky#like when you get really cheap polyester clothes and they smell like plastic/chemicals for a few days so you have to leave#them outside on a drying rack to air out or whatever lol#but after it's a little less stinchy then berhaps I can wear it actually#ALSO ignore my idiot hair being purple hghjgjh I haven't done anything to it at all during covid and even well before covid#it's just been chilling in it's natural state for like well overa year if not a year and a half#It was blue (and is SUPPOSED to be blue)  but at some point it faded into a weird purpley color (with faded greeny gray#weirdness at the tips) and I just haven't been bothered to do anything to it hghjg#I mean I don't hate purple or anything but I feel weird not having blue hair since it is my designated hair color that I have decided on#I used to change my hair a lot when I was younger but now I'm pretty set on having blue hair the rest of my life since it's#the one of my favorite colors that's most achievable (white and light gray hair would take WAAAAY too much upkeep and costs given how#long my hair is and that it's naturally black)#even if it's an artifical color it can still be weird to have the same ahir color (mostly - even if it's in differing shades) for a long tim#e and then not lol#but anyway... One Day... whenever I can afford a bunch of hair dye and stuf... perhaps the blue will return#aLSO having my roots grown out literally past my shoulders looks kind of funny when there's no gradient (like.. I think it'd look okay#if i had a darker blue that blended in with the roots and then faded to lighter blue but right now the change of colors is just abrupt hgghg#) but you know... *insert that shrug and smirk emoticon that I'm too lazy to go copy paste from somewhere*
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yandere-daydreams · 2 years
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Can we have a younger yandere please?
They’d ask you for help all the time—tips, advice, with accidents, work, life and pretty much everything. You notice, so maybe you could just ask why. They’d be happy to answer, just like they always are. Simple enough.
It’s weird how they always seem know what to ask help for though, it’s always something you seem to be able to help with, like helping them learn your favorite hobby! Maybe that’s just how coincidences work.
or ANYTHING, PLEASE! :(
Thank you!
tw - stalking, age gap, obsessive behavior, slight possessive behavior, and delusional thoughts.
i really like the idea of a 'childhood friend' kinda relationship, wherein the yandere is just a few years younger than their older, oblivious darling. it's not a wide age gap, no more than half a decade, but it's enough to keep you in separate grades, operating in different friend groups, to let you get out of school and move away from your hometown while they're still stuck in high school, still clinging to memories they've managed to convince themself you haven't completely forgotten. you still like them, you still care about them, you're just... busy, too distracted to spare any time for the kid you used to babysit. that's alright. you left them, but they're more than happy to close that distance, to find their way back to your side. they love you, and they know you'd do the same for them, if you ever thought to.
they do their best to follow you, to go to the university you went to, to connect themselves to you any way they can. they try not to invade your privacy, but they check your social media accounts more often than they should, try to keep track of what you're doing, where you are, what they can buy and leave dotted around their dorm room to make it feel like you're actually living with them, even if the habit does earn a few worried glances from their roommate. after graduation, they move to the city you're living in, the city they spent hours trying to find through road signs in the backgrounds of pictures and vague mentions of local businesses you still seem to go to. they don't bother for applying anywhere else, just to the company you're working for, just for an entry position in your department. you claim not to recognize them, only smiling and laughing when they mention that you're from the same hometown, but they know you're just being shy. they know you wouldn't forget them, not really, not for very long.
and you're so nice to them, nicer than you'd ever be to some stranger. you volunteer to train them (you say that rookie orientation is always your responsibility, but they don't believe you), invite them out for drinks (albeit, with a few of your other coworkers), and when you find out their apartment building is only a block away from yours, you offer to walk them home (or, admit that you'll be taking the same route, at least). you've changed a lot, but so many of your old habits are still in-tact - you still leave your front door unlocked at night, still keep a spare set of keys where anyone you've invited in can just pick them up and carry them away, still sleep too deeply and too soundly to wake up when someone slips into your bed to hold you until the sun rises and you start to stir. they know they can't go too far with you, just yet. it's been so long, and they want so much, but they have to be careful, gentle, and as much as they'd like to, they can't move in or hold your hand or do anything about all those awful friends of yours, not right now, not until you warm up to them, again. they love you, and they know you love them, even if you've always struggled to show it. they know that, if they wait long enough, if they follow you closely enough, they'll get to be with you, one day. the two of you will get to be together.
and then, you'll never have to leave them behind again.
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mermaidxatxheart · 2 years
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Better Together Chapter Nine
A/N: I know it's been an insanely long time since I've posted anything. I haven't been motivated, really, and I"ve had some stuff going on in my personal life. I appreciate everyone who has stuck with me through this. I'm finally getting back into writing and your support means the world to me. If you could reblog or comment, and let other people share my works, that would go a long way.
Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader
Word Count: 3361
Warnings: the usual, trauma, torture, Poe being soft as fuck. I swear, I love this man. swearing. Bryce is a dick.
Series Master List
Chapter Eight
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Chapter Nine
Poe
It’s been six hours since breakfast. He’s starving. He wants you to take a break. He wants you to pay attention to him. He’s been babbling for the last hour about literal nonsense, stringing words together that make no sense; but you’re responding, albeit distractedly, like he’s telling a real story. He kind of wants to see how long you can keep it up, but his stomach is grumbling. 
It’s hungry work, watching you work. 
He spins the chair, keeping his feet off the ground to go faster. His head is tipped back, heavy from the night vision goggles he found. 
“Y/N.” He says and you merely hum, so caught up in your work. “Y/N.” He says again, pushing the chair around faster. You’re a blur as the world spins. 
“Uh huh?” You mutter, not even looking at him. He could probably confess to wearing your clothes when you aren’t there and you’d tell him ‘that’s great, Poe.’ 
“I’m hungry.” He says. 
“Uh huh. Five minutes.” You mutter. 
“Sweetheart, you said five minutes an hour ago.” He protests. 
“Sure. Sounds… good.” You squint and he groans. 
“I demand you go eat.” He says and the next thing he knows his chair screeches to a halt and he nearly spills out of it, dizzy and disoriented. 
“What did you say?” You ask and the goggles are lifted off his eyes. 
“I didn’t think that’d actually work.” He grins. “Have I told you how beautiful you are today?” He asks, but you don’t even blink. 
“Save it for your ship.” You retort and he laughs. 
“Come on, take a break. I’m hungry, you’re hungry. Let’s eat and then you can come back and I won’t bother you again. Please? Please please please? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?” He begs and you groan, pushing his face away. 
“Fine.” You close your books, logging them away before offering him your hand. 
He takes it, the world somehow righting itself as soon as he does. Like he’s been off balance and leaning without realizing it, and only when he’s upright again does he notice that the world wasn’t right before. 
“You’re looking at me weird.” You roll your eyes and heat creeps up the back of his neck. 
“No, I wasn’t.” Was he? He was just looking at you. 
“Your forehead is all pinched.” You say. 
“You don’t know that. You’re not even looking at me.” He protests. 
You stop in the middle of the corridor and back him into the wall. “I know my best friend.” You lift your hands slowly, letting him track your every move. Your thumbs trace over his forehead, smoothing out the lines in between his eyebrows. 
“Doesn’t mean anything.” He huffs and you crack a smile. 
“I’m sorry I kept you from food for so long.” You say, taking his hand again. 
“As you should be. I’m starving, Y/N.” He complains and you laugh. Maker, he’s missed this sound. For three weeks, he couldn’t hear it. He doesn’t know how you’re doing it now, honestly. He would just love to crawl away and not deal with anything-like he’s always done. But this time, it’s not just him suffering alone. He won’t leave you to deal with this by yourself. You’ve never left him alone. Not when he yelled and picked fights and pushed everyone away. 
You’ve always been there. 
So, he’ll be there for you. He won’t abandon you. 
You stop in front of the door and he glances at you, slowly pulling his hand out of yours. He doesn’t want to, but your insanely stupid boyfriend might be in there. Emphasis on boyfriend. You nod quickly, almost like you’re giving yourself a pep talk. 
He pulls the door open for you and you step inside quicker than you did this morning. That’s good, means you’re getting more comfortable. He just hopes it doesn’t mean your time with him will diminish. He’s not ready for that. 
You walk through the line with him, picking out your own food this time before letting him lead you over to another empty table. It’s louder in here this time. More crowded. He should have fucking waited. Another hour? This place would be empty. 
Maker, he’s fucking stupid. 
You sit next to him this time, shoulders pressed together as you start to eat. You make a little noise low in your throat and he shakes himself out of his mood. 
“That good?” He teases.
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was.” You admit, glancing over at him. “I thought you were absolutely ravenous?” You smirk and he grins, picking up his fork. 
“I am.” He starts eating, but it’s not tasting as good as he thought it would. Maybe it’s his souring mood, maybe it’s the fact that he knows he can’t stay with you today after this. He has a meeting with Leia. 
You slide your hand into his under the table and his shoulders ease down slightly. 
“So, after lunch, I have a meeting. But I’ll be back later, okay?” He says softly and you look up at him, eyes widening slightly. He knows that look by now, panic. “You’ll be okay. I’ll walk you back to your lab, kiss you against the wall and then you’ll get lost in your work and won’t even notice I’m not there.” He says, squeezing your hand gently. 
You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and nodding. “Okay. I’ll be okay.” You repeat. His heart swells uncomfortably for you. 
“That’s my girl.” He says softly. He’s crossing a line, several-in fact. He knows this, but you haven’t pushed him away, told him to stop. In fact, you almost seek him out, seeming to need him as much as he needs you. And as long as you’ll let him kiss you, he won’t stop. He’ll never push you to go further, not until you tell him you’re ready. 
Your hand pulls out of his and you sit up straighter, drawing his attention. Bryce, heading straight for you. Poe groans under his breath, but stays quiet. Just because that slimy piece of dirt doesn’t deserve you doesn’t mean that Poe has to make you uncomfortable with his complaints. 
“Hey, baby.” Bryce says, swooping down and capturing your mouth in a kiss. You seem surprised at the very least, given the way you stiffen next to him. 
Mind your own business. Mind your own business. Mind your own fucking business. 
“Where have you been? I was looking for you everywhere.” He says, sitting down and taking your tray, picking at your food. 
Don’t kill him. Don’t tell him. Don’t kill him. Don’t tell him about the lab.
He wants just one place where Shithead won’t think to look for you. One place where he can be with you without worrying about him ruining everything. 
“I just had some stuff to do.” You shrug, and Poe wants you to take your tray back, to remind Bryce that he’s perfectly capable of getting his own fucking food. But you don’t, you let that fucker, who wasn’t just starved and tortured for three fucking weeks eat your food. 
Poe’s hands clench under the table as they shake and he tries to breathe deep, to steady his anger. He shouldn’t let it get the better of him, can’t let it explode when you’re around. He’d die if you were afraid of him. 
“What have you been doing all morning? Did you have a shift?” You ask and Poe can barely refrain from rolling his eyes out loud. 
“Yeah. I actually have to go back out, do another sweep. Make sure that we stay protected.” He says importantly. 
This time Poe does roll his eyes. Bryce is nothing more than a guided gun. A trigger with kiddy bumpers. The pilot behind him does all the work. All Bryce has to do is fire the trigger. And he doesn’t even go out on missions. He doesn’t actually risk his life doing perimeter sweeps. Not the way every other pilot and gunner here has. He’s actually fairly useless in the grand scheme of things. He doesn’t repair anything, he doesn’t fly anything, he’s not a great shot, he’s not a healer. Just another ungrateful mouth to feed. 
“When do you have to go?” You ask. Poe wants to scream. Why do you even fucking care about this prick? 
“In a couple minutes. Just wanted to grab something to eat and see you.” He says softly, determined to ignore Poe. That’s fine, the less temptation Poe has to clock him right in the stupid face. 
“Okay.” You say, tilting your head. “Be safe.” You tell him softly and he grins at you. It’s wolfish, predatory, possessive. He doesn’t love you, he wants to own you. 
“I’ll swing by your room tonight.” He promises, pulling you for another kiss, half lifting you out of your chair. Poe worries about your ribs with the way you're being pulled around like that, even more so when he just drops you back down. 
Fucker.
Bryce saunters away, whistling to himself. You wait precisely one second after he walks out the door to put your hand back in his. 
“How are your ribs?” He asks stiffly. 
“They’re sore.” You mumble, closing your eyes. “I’m sorry I pulled away. I didn’t want him to hurt you.” 
He softens, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “I can take care of myself. Besides, maybe I could use a fight.” He says and you swat his arm lightly. 
“How about we let these current injuries heal before we go looking for new ones?” You suggest, resting your head on his shoulder. 
“Fine. But I make no promises if he gets physical like that again.” He warns, an ugly heat tightening in his belly. He could easily go find that dick right now and beat the daylights out of him, the only thing stopping him is you here in his arms. 
“Are you done eating?” You ask quietly. 
“Are you?” He replies and you nod. 
“For now.”
“Alright.” He stands up with you and you grab both trays, heading for the return. He follows behind, his thoughts swirling like a storm cloud. Are you that eager to be rid of him now? Now that Bryce reminded you that you have a boyfriend? Will you tell him to piss off and leave you alone for good? Should he save himself the trouble and go pitch himself off the lookout tower? Or fly his X-Wing into a sun? Would you care?
He doesn’t realize you’ve stopped walking until you grab his arm to pull him back. “Oh. Sorry.” He mumbles, coming back.
“Well?” You prompt and he looks up, feeling like it takes him a long time to focus. 
“Well what?” He asks finally. 
“We’re at my lab. You said you’d kiss me once you walked me back here. I’m waiting for my kiss, Poe.” You say, lacing your fingers into his. 
“You sure you don’t want Bryce here to do it?” He asks rudely before he can stop himself. 
You punch his arm weakly, and he can tell it causes you more pain than it does him. “I only asked him when he left so I would know if I would be able to have this moment with you. But if you wanna be a brat and not kiss me, that’s fine, too.” You cross your arms and he closes his eyes, realizing what an idiot he is. 
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles. Your warm hands cup his face, tilting it towards you. 
“You have to talk to me. Don’t get lost in that abnormally big head of yours. I told you. I’m not going anywhere. And I demand a kiss. Shit, I demand five kisses.” You say and he cracks a smile. 
“Yes, ma’am.” He holds onto your bandaged wrists gently, pressing his lips to yours once, twice, thrice, four times, on the fifth, he kisses you like he’s wanted to all day. Slow, soft, gentle. He guides you closer, as though he can share the same space as you. His hand cups the back of your neck, his mouth kissing you wider, hungrier, your pulse jumps under his hand. You inhale roughly through your nose, almost as if you forgot how to breathe. He knows the feeling. You steal the very air from his lungs and it’s the best feeling, the way it consumes him. 
Your teeth drag across his bottom lip and your hands ball into fists in the front of his shirt. The quietest, softest moan escapes the back of your throat and he pulls back with an immeasurable amount of difficulty. You blink your eyes open slowly, dazed. 
“Have fun in your meeting.” You mumble. 
“Be careful.” He says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you for dinner.” He promises, backing away slowly. He feels you watching him until he rounds the corner, and he wants to go back to you. But he can’t just blow off Leia. Not if he values his head on his shoulders. 
***
The lab goes silent. Eerily so. You don’t like it. There’s no hum of machines, no chatter, no beeping of droids. Something feels… wrong. 
There’s no one else in here, so why do you feel like someone is standing behind you, peering at you through the shelves? 
Your heart stutters painfully in your chest as you turn slowly, eyes glued to the corner as you turn. There has to be someone there, messing with you. But… no. There’s no one there. The spaces behind the shelves are empty. 
“Nya? Is that you?” You call. She’s most likely to pull a nasty prank like this. But there’s no response. “Is anyone there?” You ask, taking a hesitant step forward. “Sn-Snap?” Your voice wavers. “B-Beau? You there?” You call weakly. 
Maker, you’re so fucking pathetic. Why are you always so fucking scared? You’re just a stupid infant, always needing someone to rescue you. You were useless on that mission and you’re fucking useless now. Gonna cry out for Poe? Gonna beg him to save you? One day, he’s gonna get sick of saving you. He’s gonna find someone who can take care of themself. 
You spin around, looking wildly through the lab. There’s no one there… but… but there’s someone. “H-hello?” You call, trembling now, like you’re freezing. Goosebumps have broken out all over your skin as you walk through the counters. 
Out in the hallway, a massive bang and clattering echoes. Bangs on the wall like cannon fire trying to get through. Oh fuck, oh Maker. You drop, cowering behind a counter. People start shouting, the sound of blasters firing. You can’t breathe. Th-they’re here. They’ve come for you to finish the job! You clutch at your midsection, scrambling backwards until you bump into the wall of cabinets. 
You can’t breathe. Shit, wh-where’s Poe? He’s safe, in that meeting with others. You grab the handle of the nearest locker and pull it open. There’s a big enough space for you to crawl into the bottom and shut the door behind you. Tears spill over as you haul yourself inside, trying to be as quiet as you can. 
There’s some more shouting and the firing settles down, but then the door to the lab slides open and your heart slams against your rib cage. You crush your fist to your mouth, trying to stifle your panicked breathing. 
Please, please, let them be stupid. Let them look and see no one’s in here and leave. Tears leak over your hand and you squeeze your eyes shut. You’re never gonna see Poe again, you’re gonna leave him all alone just like you promised you wouldn’t. 
The door opens and you scream, flinging your hands up automatically. There’s more shouting from the doorway and you sob as someone catches your wrists. 
“Get the fuck out of here!” The person in front of you shouts at the door. “Y/N, sh, sh, stop, it’s me. It’s Snap, baby. It’s Wexley. It’s me.” He says, cupping your face and making you look at him. 
You hiccup as you focus on his face, confusion settling over you, making you dizzy. “Wh-I don’t understand.” 
He pulls you forward, wrapping his arms around you in a hug, holding you tight for a second before he scoops you up, setting you on a stool. “Everything’s okay.” He says, holding your face. “Some idiots in the hallway spilled cases of blasters and some misfired.” He explains. He looks around the lab with a frown. “Where’s Poe?”
“Me-meeting.” You gasp. You still can’t breathe, even though you know nothing actually happened. Your body hasn’t seemed to get the message. “Why a-are you here?” 
“That part. The mechs couldn’t figure it out. But don’t worry about it.” He waves his hand. 
“You n-need it.” You mumble, turning on the stool. “Where is it?” You ask. 
“Y/N-“
You hold out your hand without a word and he sighs, going over and picking it up. He sets it in your hand and you start examining it. “My tools,” you point and he grabs them. Your hands are shaking too badly to unscrew the door. 
“Here,” he does it for you. “You don’t have to do this. I can just take another ship.” He says. 
“That’s bad luck. You’re Poe’s best friend. He n-n-needs…” you cut off, eyes filling with tears again. “Fuck.” 
“How about you walk me through it? Huh? I’ll be your hands, you be the brain.” He offers, taking the sharp cutters out of your grasp. 
“E-everyone is okay?” You ask, not taking your eyes off the piece of machinery. 
“Yeah. Until the General gets through with them. You’re safe. Poe’s safe.” He says. You nod, trying not to let your face pinch. 
Snap needs you. Poe’s best friend in the whole world needs you. So get it to-fucking-gether. You clear your throat, nodding as you refocus. 
“Take the hinge off and you’ll be able to slide off the outer shell. There’s a latch that will release, you just have to feel around to the left on the inside.” You say firmly. He takes a second to watch you before doing as you say. 
You walk him through it, finding the problem easily. You tell him how to fix it, how to reassemble the piece, and then how to put it back in his ship. The whole time, trying not to notice the feeling of someone you can’t see watching you. 
“Okay. How do you feel? Still shaky? Nervous?”
“Crazy.” You mumble. 
“You’re not crazy, Y/N. You went through a horrible experience.” He reasons. 
“Then why do I feel like someone is standing right behind me?” You whisper. “It’s been there this whole time. Eyes on me, stalking m-me.” You choke. 
“I think it’s just nerves. Come on, we’ll stop by medical and get you a mild sedative to help you relax, okay?” He says and some sleep sounds fucking fabulous right now. Just block the whole world out for a few hours. 
“Okay.” You nod, accepting his hand. You allow him to lead you to medical and then to your own room. 
“I figured you’d be more comfortable sleeping in your own bed.” He says. 
“Thank you.” You whisper. You open the door and head for your bed. 
“Get comfortable.” He tells you gently, turning his back to give you privacy. 
You begin pulling off your shoes, your pants, your bra. You quickly get under the covers, trying to control your increasing breathing. It’s coming much too quickly. 
You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re safe. 
“R-ready.” You say and he turns around, kneeling next to you. “Will you tell Poe I didn’t just abandon him?” You ask and he nods. 
“You got it.” He takes your arm and injects it into your shoulder. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep, okay?”
You nod, taking his hand. “Thanks for finding me.” You mumble, eyes already drifting shut. Maker, this thing works fast.
“Any time, kid.” You can hear him smile as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. Then blissful peace. 
At least, until the nightmare begins again.
Chapter Ten
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pietros-love · 2 years
Text
Cheater!Pietro Maximoff x gn!reader ||Angst||
Warning, TW!!: Cheating, mentions of su!cide and mentions of dr!gs
Also! @justfuckyouandleavemealone
Thank you for the amazing idea!
Finally home Y/n thought as they fumbled with their keys standing outside of their apartment door. They had a rather long and stressful day. The only thing they wanted to do now was cuddle with their boyfriend, which they had been thinking about through out the whole day. Oh and how they missed his snarky little annoying comments. In the end he always managed to make them smile with them.
"I'm on my way home Pietro!"
Was the last message Y/n had send Pietro before leaving their work place. But for some reason Pietro hadn't even read it. Usually around that time he would be spamming Y/n asking when they are coming or if he should speed over to pick them up, which Y/n always refused. They always preferred coming home and having Pietro greet them at the door. Also, with how fast Pietro went Y/n was pretty sure they would throw up on the way back home-
Like said earlier, today has been extra stressful. Y/n's boss seemed to be in a bad mood or something with how much he had bothered them today. It's not like Y/n didn't like their boss or anything like that, he just could be... Well, a little thick headed and very energy straining too. Overall, he was an okay guy. But on some days, it was just a nightmare with him. And it seemed like today was a day like that. Y/n would even have preferred to stay with Clint the entire day instead of their boss. Finally opening the door to their and Pietro's shared apartment they sighed a sigh of relief. "Pietro-" They started but noticed he wasn't even at the door greeting them. Huh weird They though. But shrugged it off, maybe he was just at the toilet? Or went out and send Y/n a message they haven't seen? Or left a note, he does that a lot too. Y/n shrugged to themselves as they slipped of their shoes and put their bag down. Making their way into the kitchen they grabbed a cup and filled it with water. Maybe Pietro was sleeping? I mean, he stayed up pretty late the last night as far as Y/n remembers. Quickly finishing their water they made their way to the bedroom. Wanting to surprise their boyfriend they tip toed through the halls. Until they finally stopped in front of the said bedroom door. "Pietroo- I'm home earlier toda-" They stopped mid-sentence. A gasp escaped their mouth. This couldn't be real could it? Hah Y/n you must me hallucinating Y/n tried choking back tears. There he was, Pietro... their boyfriend. Laying in their king sized bet. But not with them.. With someone else. Y/n's eyes were starting to fill with tears. This couldn't be true could it, must be a prank right? Jep all just a silly prank. Heh. Right on cue Pietro seemed to stir. He twisted a bit before waking up grunting and pushing of the blanket a bit. Which only showed Y/n his naked well trained stomach. That only worsened their thoughts.
.
.
.
God they were a mess. Sitting in their new apartment drunk. Their head was spinning from drinking all that liquor. Maybe it was too much? Y/n sighed and gripped their pounding head. They were starting to remember it all.
"Pietro..?" They asked trying to choke back their tears. Their throat was hurting too, like someone was trying to suffocate them with a rope. "Wha- Y/n why are you home already- Don't you have a long shift today?" Pietro nervously looked around and started cursing under his breath. "I think. I think you should go Pietro.." "Y/n but- No. You should just go.." they mumbled under their breath. Pietro looked at Y/n with an unbearable expression.
After that everything went by blurry. The last thing Y/n remember from that day is. Pietro leaving with that person. And them finally breaking down after that
The following weeks went by with a flash. They hadn't heard from Pietro ever since then. It broke them, it was slowly eating them from the inside. Weren't they good enough? Did they do something wrong? Should they maybe have given him more attention..? Those thoughts were swirling through their head from time to time. It made them depressed, to the point they tried hurting themselves multiple times. And even had... Some pretty bad suicidal thoughts. Which lead them to this moment. Drunk in their new apartment, since they couldn't stand staying at their old one after what had happened..
"God what am I doing to myself.." Y/n slurred out slowly sinking deeper into their sofa. I miss him I miss him I miss him I misshim Was all that was going through their mind at the moment. God it hurts so much... They just wanted it to end. All the pain. "Pathetic aren't I? And this all over one guy.. Y/n get yourself together will you. This won't be the end... Hopefully." They kept on rambling and rambling until they eventually tired themselves out and fell asleep.
.
.
.
Weeks had passed by again. Y/n was doing slightly better. They still haven't heard a word from Pietro though.. Even after all that. They couldn't help but miss him, miss all the things they did together, all those good moments they had. They kept telling everyone they were over him. But that was just a lie.. Walking down the streets on their way home. Y/n couldn't help but think of him again. He seemed to be always on his mind. Even at moments it seemed like where they had finally forgotten about him, he seemed to linger in the back of their mind. Always. Looking through the full crowds of NYC. Y/n could have sworn they saw a familiar face. The person that just passed them.. Looked like him. Their heart ached when he noticed a beautiful person who was smiling walking besides Pietro. Without thinking they turned around, but as quickly as they saw them. They were gone again. Pietro! Y/n thought while suddenly sprinting full on into the direction they saw him going. They ran and ran and ran until their legs started aching. Finally coming to a stop in a lonely alleyway. They broke together. Pietro.. Please, please just come back to me I'll do anything for you! Suddenly they felt someone place a hand on their shoulder. "Pietro..?" Y/n asked with their eyes fill of tears and a red puffy nose from crying. "Oh Y/n. I'm so sorry' A familiar voice said. Immediately recognizing it they threw themselves into the same persons arm.
"I- I just miss him so much!" "I know Y/n I know. It's all going to be alright now. Your big brother is back." One last tear escaped Y/n's eyes "Yeah... You're finally back now...
Zemo"
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arumin-arureruto · 3 years
Text
Honeytea PT 1
Kyoya x fem reader and Hikaru x fem reader, Kyoya angst, Hikaru slowburn.
Warnings: manipulation, Kyoya angst
word count: 2k
songs to listen to while reading:
The Night We Met - Lord Huron
Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish
Bitches Broken Heart - Billie Eilish
(I'll probably make a Spotify playlist at some point)
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Outfit reader is wearing:
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"ouch" the boiling hot water dripped from the tip of the tea kettle and onto your hand
"Mrs Ootori let me help you with that" said one of the kitchen workers as she rushed to your aid, already grabbing a towel.
"Oh no it's ok, this is for Kyoya and I would like to make him tea myself, I haven't been in a kitchen in so long though it seems I'm a bit rusty." you laughed while running your hand under cold water.
The water helped soothe the burning but you would definitely feel an unpleasant sting later.
This time you payed more attention as you poured the water into the mug.
Looking through the assortments of tea you tried looking for Kyoya's favorite, mint and passionfruit.
You put the tea bag in the water and put back all the other tea boxes, you and Kyoya used to love buying exotic teas from all around the world and trying them. The thought of doing something as simple as drinking tea with your husband made you smile.
You picked up the mug and started walking out of the kitchen, smiling at the staff that were busy at work already prepping for tomorrow's meals.
The manor's halls were dimly lit and empty, Kyoya insisted on buying a big lavish house even though it was just you two most of the time.
Walking slowly as to not spill any of the tea all you could hear was your breathing and your bare feet hitting the cold marble floor.
When you got to Kyoya's office you knocked, and waited for permission to come in.
No answer.
You knocked again and waited.
Still no answer.
You grabbed the doorknob thinking you'd just let yourself in when you remembered what happened last time you walked into his office without permission.
A chill went down your spine and you felt a lump in your throat.
"It's okay, he said it wouldn't happen again" you thought to yourself.
Still you decided to try knocking one more time, after you knocked the third time you heard Kyoya's voice coming from behind the door.
"You may come in"
You slowly opened the door and walked inside, still holding the mug in your hand.
"How can I help you?" he asked not looking up from his laptop.
"I brought you some tea" you hesitantly put it down on his desk, your hands already missing the warmth the mug provided.
"I appreciate it, you may leave" he still wasn't looking at you.
"Actually I was wondering if you wanted to come to bed with me?" you spoke the words quickly and nervously.
"No thank you, I am quite busy at the moment and would like some peace and quiet to continue my work if you don't mind."
"You've been leaving earlier for work and staying up later to finish it, I've just been feeling lonely and wanted to spend some time together that's all"
oh no.
Word vomit.
You did not mean to say that thought out loud.
Kyoya let out a loud and annoyed sigh, he stood up from his desk and started walking towards you.
You felt your heart beating in your ears and a lump starting to form in your throat as his tall lanky figure approached you.
Already preparing yourself for the worst you closed your eyes and looked down.
"Like I said, I am busy at the moment with important work and do not have time to deal with you and your loneliness, will I have to repeat myself a second time?"
His mouth was right next to your ear, you could feel his warm breath on your neck.
"No, I understand" you said, voice barely above a whisper.
"Then you may leave"
you gave a quick nod and turned to leave, already feeling the tears in your eyes threatening to spill while he returned to his desk.
"Y/n, before you leave I ask that you learn your place in this house, you are in no position to waltz into my office and demand that I drop everything to spend time with you, do you hear me?"
You stopped in your tracks. His voice was cold and emotionless, the chill you felt earlier returning.
Your voice shook a little.
"Yes"
"Good, then we understand each other my dear."
You hurried and left Kyoya's office quickly, tears streaming down your face.
You had only been married for a year and 4 months, why was your marriage already dying? Before you got engaged you and Kyoya had already been dating for almost 3 years so you knew he did like you, what happened?
You continued walking to your room, the house's unwelcoming atmosphere making you want to ball up and cry even more.
When you got to the room you and Kyoya shared you frantically looked for your phone, turning over pillows and accidentally messing up the tidy bed one of the maids had made.
"Son of a bitch where is it" you thought while continuing to search the bed. Your vision was blurry because of the tears so that didn't help.
After 5 minutes of turning the room upside down for it you found your phone, sitting neatly on your vanity.
You quickly picked it up and hurriedly scrolled down your contact list.
Majority of the numbers were women from families Kyoya thought it would be beneficial for you to associate with, your actual friends and family took up less than 30% of the numbers in your phone.
After scrolling for a little longer you found the number you had been looking for.
You quickly called the number and waited while it rang.
"Hey this is Hikaru leave a message, or don't, I really don't care."
fuck
It was pretty late so he was probably asleep, but you decided to try again.
You paced around the room and waited while the phone rang a second time.
After what it felt like ages you finally heard a voice.
"y/n?"
Your spirits started to lift and a little smile crept up to your face.
"Hikaru? I'm sorry did I wake you up"
Hikaru let out a sleepy laugh.
"Yeah you big head it's almost midnight, its fine though, what's up? You sound weird"
"I'm-"
You froze, should you tell him?Should you tell him that your marriage was falling apart? That you felt out of place in your own home? that you felt lonelier then ever?
"I've actually been having a pretty shitty night" you laughed, mostly out of nervousness than joy.
Suddenly you couldn't hold it in anymore, tears started running down your face again and you let out a loud, guttural sob.
"Sorry I didn't want you to hear that" you laughed again as you wiped your nose with the sleeves of your robe.
"Y/n what's going on?" Hikaru's voice grew alarmed
"I don't think I can do this over the phone, I have to talk to you, in person."
"Ok I'll come over right now if you want."
It sounded like he was stumbling out of bed and putting on his slippers.
"Oh no no its fine, it can wait till tomorrow" you said quickly, even if Kyoya wasn't home you needed some time alone to think so Hikaru coming over right now was out of the question.
"Are you sure?" he asked, still sounding worried.
"Yes I'm sure, I'll talk to you tomorrow"
"Ok but are you 100% sure?"
You felt a smile creep onto your face
"Go back to sleep Hitachiin"
"Whatever you say Ootori"
You laughed again, this time a genuine laugh.
"Goodnight Hikaru"
"Goodnight y/n"
You hung up, feeling happier than you were before.
You threw your phone on the bed and went into the bathroom that connected to your bedroom to wash your face.
After splashing some cold water on your face you looked into the mirror and almost didn't recognize the woman before you.
What happened?
You had everything anyone could want. Looks, money, power, a rich handsome husband, a high status in society.
Your eyes didn't have the same glint they did back in high school, you felt as if you had aged 2 decades in just 8 years.
You and Kyoya had started dating in your senior year of high school, he was attending his first year at Ouran University and he proposed to you right after he graduated while you were starting your 4th year at the university.
You were happy, everything was going great, it all started going downhill after you got married.
Kyoya became cold, it's as if after he had you wrapped around his finger he didn't bother trying to please you. Sometimes you wondered if the only reason he targeted you was because of how it would make him look, but you couldn't think of a way in which marrying a commoner that was attending Ouran on a scholarship would benefit him in any way.
You tried forgetting those awful thoughts, no, Kyoya loved you, you guys were just going through some hard times as do any couples.
As you leaned on the sink staring at your own reflection you heard Kyoya coming into the room.
You took one last look in the mirror to make sure any traces of your crying were gone.
you turned around and there was Kyoya, silently staring at you while leaning on the door frame.
You didn't know what to do so you just leaned with your back on the sink while he slowly approached you.
He ran his hands down the side of your body down to your thighs and put this face in the crook of your neck.
He inhaled and exhaled, hands feeling the back of your thighs.
"God you smell amazing"
Just his deep voice close to your ear was enough to make your legs go weak.
No.
Sex wasn't getting him out of this.
Until he used words to apologize you weren't going to give him anything.
"I thought you were busy" You said harshly.
"I took care of things that couldn't be delayed, everything else can wait until tomorrow." You could feel his breathing speeding up.
no, nope. Until he apologized he would get nothing.
"Hmm" you said, still not giving him a reaction.
He seemed to pick up on your strategy because he lifted you up and put you on the bathroom counter.
The cold marble against your bare thigh scared you but before you could process the feeling Kyoya put his mouth on your neck and sucked the skin.
Since you were caught by surprise you couldn't suppress the moan that came out of your mouth.
"Now now Mrs Ootori, what troubles you? Giving me the cold shoulder isn't very nice." he was whispering in your ear while undoing your silk robe.
Your own breathing was starting to speed up and you could feel heat pooling at the bottom of your underwear.
"How about you try apologizing?" You didn't try to stop him from undoing your robe.
"And why would I do that?" he asked while feeling the exposed skin on your collarbone with his nose.
"For the way you treated me when I went into your office" You said, anger starting to return.
"To be fair you interrupted me while I was doing very important work and it made me upset, so who here should really be apologizing?"
He was right, you knew how much he valued his work time and you still interrupted him.
Ashamed, you put your head down.
"I'm sorry" you mumbled.
"What was that? I couldn't hear you"
"I'm sorry" this time you said it louder.
Kyoya lifted his head up to look you in the eyes.
"Good girl. Now, there are other ways you could apologize to me."
He picked you up by your thighs from the bathroom counter and carried you to the bed.
By then your robe was already discarded on the bathroom floor and you laid on the bed, just in a thin and short sleeping gown.
Kyoya took off his shirt and pants and straddled himself on top of you, arms on either sides of your head.
Although you laid there with your husband on top of you, all you could think about was seeing your best friend the next day.
A/N: Hey babes so this is just the first chapter, I'm definitely making this a slowburn so expect a lot of chapters. As a Kyoya girl this was painful to write </3, anyways love y'all!!!
82 notes · View notes
quinncupine · 3 years
Text
Obscured Chapter Eight: Belly of the Beast
Chapter Word Count: 6,440
Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X Female Reader
Previous Chapter: Seven
MASTERLIST
Warnings: Kidnappings, violence, language, blood, near-death experiences, drugs
I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think!
...
A steel-toed boot to the chest woke Izuku up. He sucked in a breath and his eyes shot open. His brain felt like mush and every inch of his body ached. Something heavy and cold constrained his arms, hands pulled so far behind him that the tips of his fingers brushed against his shoulder blades and strained his bruised ribs. Layers of heavy metal chains had wrapped around him like a cocoon, which forced him to sit on his knees.
"Oh, looks like Sleeping Beauty finally awakes," an electronic voice mused. "Took your sweet time, didn't ya?"
Izuku tried to blink away the blurriness. He'd felt the effects of a sedative before; they weren't fun. If the chains weren't holding him upright, he would've fallen over. Through the pounding headache and general drowsiness, he managed to look up at his captor.
It was a mask he would recognize anywhere. Kabuki.
"You look dumbfounded." Kabuki crouched in front of him. "Or maybe just dumb."
He looked around, taking in his surroundings. In the dim light, he could make out steel beams in front of him. Two sets that ran parallel to each other, and lined by thick cement barricades. Two sets of rail tracks ran on either side of the beams in a large trench. He was sitting on the raised platform in what looked like some sort of abandoned subway station: complete with faded graffiti, piles of molded trash, and even a decayed staircase that went nowhere. A train whistled around the corner and a few moments later, rushed through, not bothering to slow down.
He blinked hard and forced his brain to start the gears. His memory was a little fuzzy; drugs tend to have that effect. How did he end up here? What was he doing last? He had left the hospital with you, that much he remembered. Then...then the car had been attacked. The bridge blew and you fell. You fell. The pieces slowly came together until they all clicked. His head shot up, eyes roaming around the rusted station in a panic.
"Looking for someone?" Kabuki cocked his head.
Izuku forced his attention back to him. "Where is she?"
"Ah, don't you worry about that," he shrugged. "It's just you and me right now. I wanted some one-on-one time with you."
Izuku flexed his fingers, another mini panic jolted through him when he didn't feel his quirk. "Why?"
"Haven't figured it out yet?" He stood up. "What a shame. And here I thought you were supposed to be the clever one. Hmm, maybe I gave you too much credit." He crossed his arms. "You don't even know who I am."
He tested the binds. With his strength gone and his head still a little fuzzy, it would be a lot more difficult to break free. He needed a plan, and fast.
"I know exactly who you are," he said.
"Oh really?" Kabuki laughed. "Do enlighten me then."
"You were the one who killed the Hashira. You also killed an officer, Officer Manaka. The two don't connect unless you trace back to three years ago." He explained as he wracked his brain for an escape route. "I looked into his records. He'd been receiving large sums of money for years from false accounts. The Hashira had him on their payroll. He would look the other way whenever they were involved and even helped cover up their mistakes. He was a dirty cop." He worked on getting his fingers free while he talked. "You were the first to figure it out."
"What's with the long story?" He put his hands on his hips. "You know, I've always hated how you ramble, it's annoying."
"The Hashira killed your family didn't they?." He said and Kabuki tensed. "It's why you targeted them. You killed Officer Manaka because he worked for them. It's why you killed any criminal you came across, warranted or not. It's why you became the Metal Hero Cobalt; to prevent what happened to you from happening to others. Isn't that right, Ikari?"
The two stared at each other in silence before Kabuki broke into laughter, which sounded pretty weird coming from an electronic mask. He pulled the long hood of his coat back before slipping the mask off. Blue locks of hair fell free, revealing the face of a young woman.
"Got it all figured out, huh?" She looked down at her mask. "I am glad you remember me. It would've been awkward if you didn't."
"You were a hero, Ikari," Izuku said. "Look at what you're doing, this isn't you."
"Don't pretend to know me." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't you dare forget that I'm not a hero anymore because of you."
"You know why." He said. "But that doesn't mean you have to become this."
"This?" A finger trailed down the center of the mask before she chucked it at him. "You're exactly the reason I had to do this! Everything that happened, everything that will happen, it's your fault Deku."
The mask bounced off his chest and landed at his feet. The empty eyes seemed to bore into him, mocking him.
"Blaming me doesn't make what you did any less wrong." The chains seemed to tighten around him on their own, but he still continued. "Those people didn't deserve to die. You can't play judge, jury, and executioner. You're acting like Stain."
"Stain?" She cocked her head. "You think I'm like Stain? He might've had the right idea, but he didn't know how to execute it properly. He killed any hero that got in his way...well, except for you." She tapped her chin. "You fought him the night he was captured, didn't you? Of course, that's not the official story anyway, but you were the one to take him out."
Izuku didn't say anything so she continued. "The problem with Stain is that he was too focused on the killing and not the actual changing. You should've been rewarded with taking him out, instead, you were threatened into silence and let that lava-brained oaf take all the credit. That's one of the many problems with the hero system. No one understands what true justice is anymore, instead jumping through red tape to make themselves look good. The wicked should be punished to the full extent. The heroes of this world need a major overhaul, and Japan will be the first to witness it."
"So you want to kill me, is that it?" He managed to slip a few fingers free. "And then what?"
"Ah, look at that, you got me monologuing." She chuckled. "You think you can get me to reveal my master plan? I'm well aware of hero tactics. Besides, what fun is there unless you figure it out when it's already too late? Let's see how much longer you can call yourself hero."
The ground rumbled as a train raced through the station on the closest track. The noise reverberated off the walls, making Izuku's headache that much worse.
"You brought me here for a reason." His wrist slipped free, but the rest of his arm was still trapped behind his back. "For some sort of retribution. Revenge."
"Oh, I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you think." She bent down and patted his cheek. "No, I think you'll be more than capable of that yourself."
If she was going for ominous, she nailed it. Although he wasn't too sure of the 'no hurting' part. Villains don't just kidnap someone and bring them to an abandoned subway station in who-knows-where to have a nice chat. She was up to something, but the 'what' was still unclear.
The air beside them bent into a point before it expanded back out, bringing two people with it, both of which he recognized. A disturbing copy of himself holding onto what he prayed wasn't the real you. The 'what' suddenly became crystal clear.
"Gah, shit!" Fake Izuku toppled over, clutching his leg that had turned into a popsicle. "That damn bastard!"
You fell on your butt and scuttled backward, running into the decayed staircase. Your head swiveled around, taking in the new environment before finally landing on him.
"Izuku?" You asked.
All he could do was stare. You were still in your house clothes and slippers. Hair hung loosely around your head and he could see dark bags under your wide eyes. His escape plan just got upgraded to an emergency.
His face darkened and he turned his deadly glare on Ikari. "She's got nothing to do with this. It's me you're angry with."
Ikari looked over at you curiously. "Oh, but I went through all the trouble of bringing her here and you don't even say hello to your wife?" She headed your way. "It's awfully rude to ignore guests."
The chains dug into his skin as he struggled to free himself, he no longer cared about being discreet. One of the many parts bolted into the walls broke free. The chains themselves only coiled tighter, pressing into his lungs.
"Ikari, stop!"
She made a beeline for you with a smirk that spelled anything but nice. You used the broken down canopy that covered the stairs to pull yourself up and looked around for something to use for defense.
Ikari stopped short and turned to Fake Izuku, who was looking less and less like him by the second. Green hair had grown out to his shoulder and turned a rusty red. His muscular frame shrunk into more feminine shape. His face changed completely. The imposter wasn't a man at all, but it was someone you both recognized. You'd seen her enough on the news, giving the morning traffic reports from her helicopter. The same reporter who had gone missing, along with the helicopter that stole Izuku away.
"You're late Shizue." Ikari looked down at the woman.
Shizue, who was still nursing her frozen leg, looked up. "Well obviously I ran into some complications." She grumbled. "But I got the girl."
"You were supposed to get both." Ikari rubbed her forehead. "It was a simple snatch and run. Please tell me you didn't play actor again."
"What was I supposed to do? There were heroes there. You never said anything about heroes." She complained. "You said it would be easy, just off some officers and we're good to go." She got up and carefully tested her weight on the icicle of a leg. "Besides, it was a golden opportunity to try out my latest one." She held her hand over her leg and the ice shattered.
Ikari closed her eyes and shook her head before she set her focus back on you. "I'm glad you could make it Y/N. It wouldn't be any fun without you."
You glanced back at Izuku and noticed the mask lying on the ground next to him. It was a Kabuki mask. The same Kabuki mask that everyone had been working so hard to find.
"So you're Kabuki." You gripped the metal railing behind you. "Didn't expect you to be a girl."
She chuckled and leaned in close. "What? Ladies can't take initiative too?" Her hand reached for your chin and you pressed against the rail in an effort to avoid her. She snagged your face and forced you to look at her. "Do you know why you're here?"
You glanced at Izuku, who struggled in his binds. "To...kill me." The words were barely audible, but Izuku still seemed to hear.
He stopped struggling for a second to look at you, tears had pooled in his eyes and threatened to spill over. You two locked eyes. He was trying to communicate so many things with one look.
"Now why would I do that? You just got here." She pulled you off the stairs, slung an arm around your shoulders, and marched over to Izuku. "I'm sure you're dying to talk to him though." She laughed at her own joke. You did not.
She stopped a few feet from Izuku, who glared up at her. "She's innocent. Just let her go and I promise I'll stay."
Ikari frowned. "Innocent? What about all the others then? Weren't they innocent too?" She dug her nails into your shoulder. "Because of you, they're dead. Because of you, I couldn't save them. Because of you, I was forced to run while you went on to become the Number One Hero. A bit ironic, isn't it?"
She released you, only to grab your hair and yank you back into her so she could loop an arm around your throat.
"Call me a villain, I don't care anymore." From her sleeve, a thin metal arrow slowly slid out. "Titles won't matter for much longer anyway." She looked at Izuku. "You ruined everything I had achieved in just a few days." The sharp tip of the arrow rested just below your chin and slightly dug in. "What would you do if I ruined yours in just a few seconds?" The sharp tip tore through the skin as she drew a thin line across.
You frantically tried to tear her off with a terrified yelp. She didn't cut in very far, but it still hurt all the same.
Izuku went crazy, he thrashed so hard that three bolts ripped off the wall, giving him more room to move. The chains around him squeezed so hard he lost his breath, but it didn't deter him.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Ikari threatened, lifting your head back to expose more of your throat. "Unless you do want me to kill her right here, right now."
"What do you want?" He stilled and gave his best I will destroy you glare.
"Hmm?" She tapped the blade against your throat. "I believe you already know that."
The blade retracted back into her sleeve and she threw you to the ground, by his feet. You scooted away from her, bumping into Izuku behind you. One hand held your neck and the other grabbed hold of his shirt. The small incision wasn't deep or all that concerning, even if it did dribble down in a steady flow. Cuts always bleed worse than they really are, at least that's what you told yourself.
"Are you okay?" You glanced at him.
He blinked. "Me?" He shook his head. "I'm so sorry. I'll get you out of here".
You nodded. If Izuku says he's going to do something, then he finds a way to do it. The problem was that doing just that would be a lot more challenging without his quirk, which was somehow being suppressed at the moment.
"Big words for a man in your position." Ikari pulled out a small pouch from her coat and tossed it between her hands. "But don't worry, I came bearing gifts."
She snapped her fingers and Shizue hobbled over to you and yanked you to your feet. You struggled against her as she dragged you away.
Izuku yelled at her, trying his best to worm himself out of the chains. The problem was that Ikari had full control over metal and any attempt he made at breaking free, she would only restrain him further.
With one of Shizue's legs still damaged, you exploited it and pushed into her as hard as you could. Her arms windmilled before she crashed to the ground. You had no idea what to do. Should you run and get to safety? That's what he would want you to do. Or should you try and free him? There was no way to get past Ikari, break the chains, and escape.
"Go!" He could see your hesitance. "Run!"
A mini tug-of-war battle waged in your mind. You would be no help if you stayed. But if you ran, would she just kill him anyway? It was a choice you didn't really have time to debate. Ikari brought you here for a reason: to hurt Izuku. Running was your best option. If you could just find some heroes to help, then you could help him. You took off.
Shizue clamored to her feet, muttering something about doing all the work and took off after you with a heavy limp. Even though her leg was messed up, she was still pretty fast.
Your first thought was the stairs, but one look at them and you needed to rethink. The entire thing had been sealed off with clumps of random metal all fused together. There was no way you'd be getting out that way.
Shizue grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back. You grabbed hold of the railing to steady yourself, but one of the poles snapped off and you lost your balance. You toppled into her and you both went down. The pole landed next to you, so you grabbed it and scrambled away from her. She grabbed your foot as you stood and you whacked her hand with the pole. She let you go with a scream and clutched her hand.
That was your chance, so you got back to your feet and sprinted down the platform. The station itself wasn't all that big and you found yourself at the end of the platform in no time, with no where else to go. As far as you could tell, the only exit was the blocked off staircase. Across the tracks was another platform with another set of stairs, but if the villains were smart, they would've blocked that too. There was another option, a much more dangerous option. You could always run down the tracks and try to escape through another station, but you'd have to be faster than a train. The horn sounded from the tunnel, yeah, there was no way you'd outrun a train.
The collar of your sweater was yanked back, nearly choking you as she grabbed you from behind. She had a handful of sweater, so you twisted around and ducked out. The fabric ripped and you stumbled back. Damn, that was one of your favorite sweaters too, Inko had gotten it for you a few Christmas's ago.
You didn't realize how close to the edge you were and one foot slipped off. Shizue was actually the one to save you from the fall. She grabbed your collar as you tipped off the edge, but didn't make any effort to pull you back up. Your fingers scrabbled at her jacket in an effort to hang on and your hand smacked the device around her waist.
The ground rumbled as the lights of the train flooded the tunnel. The tracks squealed as the train rushed into the station.
"Shizue." Ikari warned.
Shizue didn't take her eyes off you, a sadistic smile on her face. "Oops." She let go and you fell off the platform, right onto the tracks of the speeding train.
Izuku wrenched out the last of the bolts keeping him locked in place and fell forward, struggling with the coiling chains. He screamed and writhed, making every effort to escape, but without the strength of his quirk, he couldn't break out of Ikari's.
The train didn't even slow down and after a few moments, left the station. Shizue peered over the edge and crossed her arms. All that was left was a slipper.
"Shizue!" Ikari barked. "You idiot! That wasn't the plan!"
Shizue rolled her eyes, still clutching her hand as she made her way back over. "Chill out, geez. She was gonna die anyway."
"You are ruining my plans." She stepped closer to Shizue. "I don't care how important you think you are, if you do that again, I will kill you."
She narrowed her eyes. "Yeah? Well good luck finding someone else to make your supply."
The two women glared at each other before Ikari took a deep breath and turned back to an enraged Izuku. There was a murderous look on his face that even caused her some pause.
She knelt in front of him, dumping some shiny blue powder into her hand. "That's a bit disappointing, but at least I can still test my new blend."
"My new blend." Shizue mumbled behind her.
Izuku managed to get back to his knees, the chains struggling to hold him in. He was silent as he brought his head up, making eye contact with her. The air seemed to take on weight as his eyes bore into hers with such malice.
"Don't give me that look." She said, leaning away from him. "You know this is your fault Deku. Take some responsibility." She blew the powder in his face just as he headbutted her.
The bag flew out of her hand as she fell back, holding her nose. It was too late though, the powder clouded around his head and he gagged on it. He tried to hack it out, but powder clung to him, coating his mouth and throat. He choked and fell onto his stomach, face pressed into the ground.
Ikari stood up, holding her bloody nose. "Let's go."
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Shoto gripped the wheel so tight, his knuckles turned white. They'd left the house once the police arrived to take over. Momo sat in the back with Inko, who had retreated back into her silent shock. No one had spoken a word since they left.
Ochaco had been carted away to the hospital. She'd lost a lot of blood and was barely conscious by the time the ambulance arrived. Shoto had managed to get a few key details from her and had sent Bakugo to the hospital to get the rest of the story.
The three of them were headed to the police station. It was clear Inko was also a target, which meant that she needed a safe, well, a more guarded place, until this was all resolved. At the station, she would have eyes on her at all times. Momo volunteered to stay with her until they found both you and Izuku.
Shoto's phone rang and he answered, the light of an oncoming car illuminated his face. "Chief, we're almost there."
"I've got officers waiting outside for you." Tsukauchi said. "Shinso's still here too."
He nodded. "We're ten minutes out."
He hung up and glanced in the rearview mirror. Momo was staring at Inko, who in turn, was staring out the window, gripping her hands tightly on her lap.
Another phone buzzed, on the seat between the two women. That was Ochaco's phone. It was left behind, so Momo had taken it for safe-keeping. A new text had come through. Momo wasn't one to pry, but given the circumstances, she allowed herself to look. It was only three words. She blinked and read them again.
"Shoto." Momo looked up. They made eye contact through the mirror. "I've got something."
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Getting pushed in front of a speeding train was not a fun experience. Your back hit the tracks first, narrowly avoiding that third rail full of high voltage electricity. There was no time to think about the pain that sparked up your spine as you put all your muscles to work and rolled off the tracks, losing one of your slippers in the process. The train barreled through as you landed in the gravel, just inches from the tracks.
You laid there for a moment and let your mind catch up to what just happened as you watched the cars bobble through, the wind blasting your hair back. This wasn't the right time to sit and freak out though, they were still on the other side.
The two tracks were separated by a row of support beams and thick cement barricades. You jumped over one of the barricades and crouched as low as you could. It was wide enough to cover you, as long as they didn't come over to investigate. The train left, leaving a hollow emptiness to the station and you put a hand over your mouth to stifle your heavy breaths.
From the platform, you could hear the two villains arguing with each other, the words were too echoed to hear right, but they didn't seem happy with each other. There sounded like a small scuffle and Izuku yelled, the chains jingled. You didn't dare look, for fear they might see you. Right now, you were at an advantage, and you wanted to keep it that way. Just hide and wait for help, except no one knew where you were.
In your pocket was your phone, well your replacement anyway. The last one was still at the bottom of the river. Ochaco had given this one to you for the time being, in case of emergencies. This would definitely qualify as an emergency.
As quietly as you could, you slipped the phone out. This new one was temporary, which meant that none of your old contacts were transferred yet, and you never took the time to memorize anyone's number. Well, aside from Izuku's, but calling him wouldn't really help at the moment.
Calling was also a problem. It would be too risky to answer anyone's questions, they might hear you. So you'd have to settle for texting. You opened up the phone and almost let out an audible sigh of relief. There was one contact saved into the phone. Ochaco. She must have put her number in before giving it to you.
Your trembling fingers quickly typed out a message and sent it. SOS can't talk.
The station had gone eerily silent, aside from the constant hissing and distant sounds of horns. No voices, no chains, nothing.
The phone dinged and you curled around it, praying no one heard that. When no one came charging into view, you looked down at the response.
Tracking phone. Then a second message. Are you safe? - Momo
You blew out a quiet breath and clutched the phone to your chest. Momo had responded. She would know what to do and she would find you. All you had to do was hold out until then. The only thing that bothered you, aside from the obvious, was the silence.
A quick peek around the barrier and you saw the platform was empty, aside from Izuku, who was sprawled out on the ground, free of his chains. The two villains were nowhere to be seen. Had they just left? That didn't make any sense. Why would they leave when they already had the hero at their mercy? Something else had to be at play.
You focused on Izuku. He was lying face down, but you could see the rise and fall of his chest; he was breathing. Actually, he was breathing to much. It almost looked like he was hyperventilating.
On the phone, you typed out another quick text. Hiding. Two villains. Izuku's here.
After a few moments of watching him struggle to breathe, you couldn't stand it. The villains seemed to have left him for some reason and for all you know, he could be bleeding out, left to die. That was something you couldn't idly watch.
The phone buzzed again. Stay put. Let him handle it. We are coming.
How long would that take? Izuku could be dying and since they didn't come after you, there was a fair chance they thought you might already be dead. Maybe that's all they wanted. To kill you in front of him and then leave him to die.
He's hurt. You typed out.
Not even a second passed before she sent a response. Do NOT engage. Stay hidden.
That was easy to say, but what if you stayed put and he ended up bleeding to death, or died some other way? You might not have been a hero, but you were a nurse and you had to deal with the aftermath of battles and everyday accidents. This was what you were good at, and this is what Izuku needed, so you couldn't just stay hidden. But you did as she said, well, for the first two minutes. It was quiet, you were almost positive they had left.
You stood up, keeping low as you looked around. No one popped out so you hopped over the barricade. Your shoe-less foot stepped on something sharp and you hopped back with a quiet gasp. A small shard of glass stuck out on the bottom of your foot and you plucked it out. The ground was littered with dangerous debris, you'd have to be careful.
The missing slipper was still lying on the tracks, but it was shredded beyond use. Something else caught your eye, lying beside it. You limped over for closer examination. It was a small vial filled with dark liquid. It looked just like one of the vials on Shizue's contraption. You picked it up and the liquid sloshed inside. There was a label on the side with a word scribbled out in neat handwriting: Blacklash. That made no sense to you, but you slipped it into your pocket anyway.
The platform itself was about five feet off the ground. It took a few attempts, but you managed to crawl onto it. Another scan of the area and they were still nowhere to be found. If it was a trap of some sort and Izuku was the bait, then who exactly were they trying to catch? It wasn't you, they could easily find and subdue you without the elaborate scheme. It had to be something else. The other heroes maybe?
"Izuku?" You whispered, standing up.
His breath hitched and his back arched. He flattened his palms on the ground and pressed his face into the cement. A coughing fit wracked his body. There didn't seem to be any new injuries on him, well, no obvious ones anyway.
Since you already lost one, you decided to just take the other slipper off. You made your way over to him, one eye on your surroundings.
"Hey, Izuku," you knelt in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Where did they go? What happened? Are you hurt?"
He refused to move, to look up at you. From his position, you could see the dried blood that coated the top of his head, mangling his hair. He was still injured from the crash and you had no way of knowing what sort of internal injuries he had. One hand clawed at the floor, nails scraped so hard a few of them broke.
"Izuku," you reached for him, but that same hand suddenly lurched out and caught your wrist.
Through his labored breathing, he managed to get a few words out. "Go." He said into the ground. "Get away."
"What?" You stared at his hand, the nails were bloody. "They're gone, we both need to go. Can you stand?"
He lifted his head. Dark spots of blue dust covered his face, mixing with his sweat. He locked eyes with you and you knew something was wrong, like really wrong. His pupils were blown, so much so that you could barely see any green left. His grip on your wrist was tight and it kept getting tighter.
"Ow," you hissed. "Izuku, stop, you're hurting me." You tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go. You stood up and tried to pry his fingers off, but he was too strong. "Izuku, let go."
He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead back into the floor. "G...go." He said that, yet he squeezed so hard, you felt your bones grind.
On the ground next to him was a small pouch, blue dust spilled out of the top. Those blue spots on his face looked exactly like Kirishima's after he'd been dosed with Kabuki's drug. You knew firsthand how volatile he'd gotten. If Izuku had been dosed with the same thing, then it didn't look good for either of you.
You gasped and fell back to your knees as your bone popped. If he squeezed much harder, your wrist would snap.
"Stop," you clawed at his hand. "Stop!"
He didn't even seem to hear you. His entire body trembled as he slowly pushed himself up; one hand still trying to dig into the ground while the other had an iron clamp on you. His matted hair fell into his face as he looked at you. The expression that crossed his face was something you'd never thought you'd see on him, much less directed at you: pure malice.
He twisted your wrist, drawing you closer and you yelped. Your panicked mind did the only thing it could think of. You slapped him across the face.
He momentarily loosened his grip enough for you to pull away. You fell backward and scurried out of his reach.
He blinked, staring at the ground, hand still raised, clutching nothing but air. It was like his brain was trying to calculate what just happened, and you weren't too keen on sticking around for him to figure it out.
As slow as you dared, you got to your feet, and took quiet steps back. You didn't want anything to set him off, and he was definitely way too unstable to talk with that drug coursing through him. You had to keep reminding yourself that the heroes were on their way.
Izuku let out a shaky groan and grabbed fistfuls of hair, leaning forward. It looked as though he was trying to fight against it, but drugs weren't something easily conquered. You would know, you'd seen enough overdoses come through your E.R. This was still a relatively unknown drug, that as far as you knew, caused extreme aggression.
The problem was that there was nowhere to escape too and very few hiding places. All the exits were sealed and most things had long been looted, leaving very little to work with. A deep horn blared from far off in the left tunnel; another train was coming.
The sound seemed to stir him. Green sparks jumped off his skin. His quirk was back, which was not good news for you. You needed a plan, and fast. Izuku lurched forward, his hands slapping the ground, cracks spiderwebbed out from underneath him. Then he looked up at you, eyes almost entirely black. He looked so un-Izuku-like that you could hardly believe that it was him.
A chill ran down your spine and only one thought came to mind: run.
Behind you, Izuku got to his feet and stumbled for balance. He looked almost drunk. No, that wasn't quite right either. You'd seen him drunk before, he would get all red-faced and giggly, not scary and demonic. This was a side to him you'd never seen before, and it scared you to your core. Even if he was weakened, he was still an incredibly formidable foe, one you'd never thought you'd have to face, yet here you were, running from your demon possessed husband, you know, like any normal couple.
Your phone! You dug it out of your pocket and called Momo. She picked up immediately.
"Y/N. Thank god." She sighed. "Are you okay? What's happening?"
A horn blared from far off down the tunnel as you sprinted to the end of the platform and glanced back at Izuku, who wobbled in place. "No, no. I'm with Izuku, but it's that drug, the same as Kirishima." Faded lights filled the tunnel. "That's why they left! I think, I think he's gonna..." You trailed off, grabbing your hair.
"I've got your location." She sounded so calm, controlled. "I've sent the heroes, they'll be there. Stay calm. Can you find a place to hide?"
"You're not coming?" A new spike of fear pierced your heart.
She was silent for a moment. "I can't. It's too far away, but I promise, help is coming."
"Too far?" You glanced down the tunnel, the floor rumbled as the train approached. "Where am I?"
She seemed hesitant to answer. "New York City."
"America?" You hissed. "How the hell-"
"A teleportation quirk, most likely." She said. "Just stay on the line, they shouldn't be too far off. Just a little longer."
A quick peek back at Izuku had your heart nearly leap into your throat. His eyes were locked onto you, face contorted into a menacing sneer, and lightning flickered off his skin.
"I don't think I have a little longer." You whispered.
He crouched and launched himself at you. For as clumsy as he looked, he was still extremely fast. You only had seconds to jump to the side or be smashed into the wall. Unfortunately, there was no more platform to jump on, which meant you hurled yourself over the edge, right onto the tracks. Something sharp stabbed your thigh and you cried out.
The train entered the station and you scrambled off the tracks, breathing heavy as it raced between the two of you, providing some temporary cover. You needed to move, to hide. Whatever had stabbed your thigh had left a sizable gash, but at least you could still walk on it, so that's what you did.
The only place left to really hide was back behind the barriers. You dove behind them again, hoping to god that his senses had also been dulled. He was the greatest hero in Japan and that title came with some serious battle skills, one's you certainly didn't have.
The train left and you covered your mouth to quiet your breathing. You had a death grip on the phone, but talking now would only reveal your location. Instead, you held it up to your ear, an almost inaudible whine escaped your throat.
Izuku grunted as he pulled himself from the dent in the wall, tile shattering as it fell out. You didn't dare look, but you could hear him shuffling around as the train disappeared down the tunnel.
"Momo." You couldn't help the pathetic mewl that puttered out. This was an entirely new experience. You'd always had that reassurance that if anything ever went wrong, Izuku would always be there to back you up. This time though, they'd turned this into some sort of twisted reversal. That single punch was meant to kill. If he got to you again...
"Hang on, hang on!" She'd lost that calm façade. "I'll-I'll figure this out, I promise!"
The crunch of gravel caught your attention and you pressed your back into the barricade. By the sound of it, he'd jumped off the platform, headed in your direction. A shadow loomed over you and you curled up against the barrier, praying to whatever deity that was listening, that he wouldn't find you.
A few tense moments passed before the shadow disappeared. Not a second later, the entire barricade was ripped from the ground and you fell back with a startled scream. Standing over you was a green-haired beast.
...
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100blueberries · 3 years
Note
Psst.. Sorry to bother you, but I saw your tags on that one queer culture post from awhile ago, and like I'm currently trying to learn about/am researching fencing!! I haven't been able to find much sadly, and I know like nothing about sabre, so I was wondering if you'd be fine with telling me about what it's like?? This has low-key become really interesting to me lately, and I'd love to hear stories from an actual fencer if your fine w/ that!! /gen /pos
ABSOLUTELY!!!! I could talk about fencing for HOURS!!! Not sure exactly what info you’re looking for but Im so glad you’re interested!
I’ve been fencing for about 3 years and have been fencing competitively for about 2 years. I started after my dad told me to pick a sport and I said either horseback riding, archery, or sword fighting, so he found a fencing club near us. This is just my opinions and experiences.
Ok so first things first: 3 types of fencing
1. Épée (which I began with, learning the sport, the simplest)
2. Foil (which I know barely anything about tbh)
3. Sabre (my pride and joy, my sport, my love, easily the best kind fight me)
Sabre can use both the edge of the blade and the tip (though mostly edge) anywhere from the waist up.
Fencing positions (advances, retreats, lunges, etc.) can feel really weird or awkward at first, but now I will stand almost in engarde position without realizing it.
Fencing is a bit more of an individual sport than most, but it still requires at least two people to work and you don’t want to just keep fencing the same person (I actually have a whole thing about how different benders from A:TLA work with different fencing styles and personalities if you’d like to see that).
Some of my experiences: there’s not too many girls until you get to the upper classes. Fencing is kind of a small world (at least two fencers from my fencing club are at the Olympics this week and our coach casually pulled out a Sabre from the 2016 rio Olympics at one point which was kind of insane). Manners are key. If you do not have proper manners and respect, you will be dismissed. One of the best fencers in my class was kicked out after they used the n-word.
Fencing, for all it’s armor and safety precautions, CAN still be dangerous. They’re still swords. There are accidents. Most of the time this means a bruise or cut, but there was one time when a blade broke mid-lunge as it went under a mask and cut someone’s throat. It was an accident and both the person hurt and the person whose blade broke were a bit traumatized by it. Impressively, the girl who was hurt is starting to fence again.
I’ve found that whenever I’m feeling really bad depression-wise, fencing can pull me out of it.
For me, fencing is about perseverance and dedication. It’s hard, but fun, and I have improved so much over the years. I love it.
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hoodie-2 · 3 years
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Hours had passed since the "math duel" and the sun had began its descent, setting the town ablaze with a warm orange glow. Krel had spent a portion of the evening exploring, or rather wandering, throughout more of the town, observing it's people. Many of the humans were out in pairs at this hour, some of the pairs had included smaller versions of themselves in whatever activities they were partaking in. He had spied a young pair of, well, human girls at the park, almost identical except in the tones of their skin and the color of their hair, and a pair of adults he assumed were their parents seated on a bench not far away, sitting at polar ends from each other on the bench conversing on their communication devices, otherwise leaving the two children on their own.
The girls themselves didn't appear perturbed or at all bothered by their parents behavior, more entertained by the images on the platform they made with the unusual writing untensils in their tiny hands. Well, all Earthly untensils were unusual in Krel's perspective; pencils, pens, markers, but ones that the two girls used were different even from those. These were maybe the length of an unused pencil but far thicker than a marker and... powdery? His head tipped as he watched one blow away part of her line, the colorful powder pushed into the air in one big gust, as she redrew the line. Her fairer toned sibling patted a hand on her clothes, a blue colored handprint left behind on the green fabric. Both girls took notice of the mark and giggled, the first girl Krel was watching pressed a hand to her own clothes and left a pink handprint similar to the other's blue. The action brought a smile to his face, it has been a while since that happened.
He eyed the girls' parents again. Would it be rude if he just started talking to the children? Their parents didn't seem to be very attentive at the moment. Doesn't that sound familiar? But he was curious about their weird, colorful writing tools. Hm, maybe if he just kept a decent distance as he spoke to them. He didn't want to come off as strange.
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"Excuse me," he approached the girls, kneeling to their height at what he believed was a respectable distance. Both girls looked at him, shifting as if they were preparing to run at the first opportunity, Krel wasn't exactly surprised by the reaction seeing as a lot of the commercials on the picture box involved something called 'stranger danger' and he was, afterall, a stranger to them. But he pointed at their drawings, from a closer examination the colorful etchings turned out to be crude imitations of other Earth creatures, a lot of them with long ears and roundish tails and a few like clouds with legs. "What is that you are writing with?"
The wariness in their eyes wavered as they looked down at the drawings around them and then at the untensils in their hands.
"You mean chalk?" The yellow-haired one asked, pointing her free hand to the blue powdery stick she held.
"Chalk," Krel echoed thoughtfully. "And you, ah, draw with it?"
"Yea, dummy," her sister answered. "Haven't you used chalk before?" They gave him identical looks of confusion only someone their age could.
"No, actually, I haven't." Krel answered back quietly. "We don't have anything like 'chalk' where I am from." He looked down at their drawings again, noticing colors other than pink and blue, there was a yellow circle he figured was the sun judging by the green landscape below it and many other colorful dots he supposed were plants. His head tilted so the image wasn't completely upside down in his perspective. "You have some very pretty drawings."
"Do you want to try?" The yellow-haired girl asked, holding out her chalk stick to him.
He eyed the shrunken piece of blue in her open palm. "A- are you sure?"
"Sure!" The girl chirped, a smile spreading over her features, a matching one on her sister's as well. "We do this all the time, its fun."
Krel took the chalk from her, rolling it and turning it in his hand, blue powder stuck to his palm wherever it touched. He looked up to see the girl reach behind her sister and pull out another stick of chalk, purple this time. They went back to scribbling on the bricks around them. He watched as their creativity grew and spread, narrowly crossing over each other's work and somehow still blending together.
Looking down at the emptiness around him where their chalk hadn't yet touched. What would he draw, he wondered. Things considered artistic escaped him, even on his planet; he couldn't understand poetry, the closest he gets to crafting is inventing gadgets, even basic drawing on a telepad wasn't something he had much skill in. What could he draw? Well, shapes are pretty simple.
He started with a triangle, Earth's history was full of them according to Kubritz and her research teams. Ancient tombs and monuments to societies that have long since passed, the triangle was acknowledged as the strongest structure, those words rang true clearly. A square, the basic form of most present day structures; there wasn't anything too spectacular about it, a little more space than a triangle, sure but meh. Then a circle, a shape Krel was most familiar with, there wasn't a screen or viewing monitor in Akiridion-5 that did not have circles, and even then there were links that connected them to more circles. On Earth, circles meant unity to some and a means of 'alien' communication to others - Kubritz.
"Can't you draw?" The brown-haired girl asked as she crawled over to look at his work.
"I am not very talented." Krel admitted. "But drawing with chalk is fun."
"Try drawing your family." Her sister suggested as she joined them. "That helps me sometimes."
Krel hummed at that logic. It was sound enough, even if he was currently at odds with his family and it was an extremely delicate situation. But they are human children, it was probably best to go along with it.
He started with Aja, forcing himself to recall her human form; it wasn't perfect, especially since he was limited to one color but he knew. Next his mother, whose disguise he's only seen a handful of times so this may be a little more difficult. That was nothing to drawing his father. How does one draw face fur?
The girls giggled at the etching.
"That one looks like a monkey." The yellow-haired one pointed to his etching. His gaze roamed over the attempted drawing and felt laughter bubbling in his chest.
"It seems you are right." Oh, how was Krel going to look at his father's face without laughing now?
He looked around them, seeing that the sky was gradually getting darker, getting closer to the time that younglings would be taken back to their homes. The girls' parents were still occupied with their own priorities, poor girls.
"I suppose I should go," he sighed, giving back the chalk he was given, "you will be going home soon." Krel did not expect such saddened expressions at his words.
"Do you have to?" The brown-haired girl asked, watching him stand up.
"I'm afraid so." He dusted the blue powder on to his jeans. "But I'm sure we will see each other again."
"Really?" The yellow-haired girl asked excitedly.
"Of course," Krel chuckled. "I wander around when I have free time." He watched as they shared a look, tipping his head as they stood as well, the yellow-haired one picking up the blue chalk and holding it out to him again.
"My name's Abby," she said, bouncing a little on her heels as she shook the chalk at him.
"And I'm Gabby." Her sister added proudly. "You can have the blue one, then we can draw again next time. Right?"
A smile pulled at his lips again. It would be a shame to see their faces fall again in sadness. He took the chalk from Abby. "That sounds fun. My name is Krel, it was nice to meet you both."
They waved at him as he walked away, pocketing the chalk he was gifted. Maybe he can find out where they get it next time so he can obtain more himself. He admired the blue powder that tainted his palm, opening and closing his hand, it was somehow amusing how the color clung to his flesh. It was almost as if his real body was peering through, if only.
After a bit of wandering, the sky growing darker, and some of the street lights were blinking to life Krel found himself at a back alley behind some stores that surrounded the park, if his memory of the town map was correct. It was empty of any lifeform that was human as he stepped in, looking around at his surroundings carefully; four-legged creatures that he was told were cats saw his approach and ran off into hiding; even smaller creatures scurried away behind them, leaving Krel alone with the garbage bins of two different sizes, the walls of the buildings were clean aside from the occasional stain near the bins or moss that grew more toward the ground.
He wasn't sure what compelled him to do so but he pulled the piece of chalk from his pocket and wrote the equation from the math duel, following it with his correct work and answer. Satisfaction washed over him as he wrote his answer, the right answer, his original answer. He was still a bit stuck on his why's during the duel, he knew he did a good thing for Seamus so what did it matter anymore. Why did Seamus stare at him when it was over?
Krel's hand moved to write another equation, it was more complex but watching the letters and numbers come into being it made sense to him, it always made sense to him, similar to cataloging past events and his planning for the future. It was comforting as he continued the equation, spreading it further along the wall, blue clear against the red brick but still convoluted. Had he been less taken in with his work he probably would have felt more guilty about how much of the chalk he was using up. He didn't notice the approaching person behind him until they addressed him.
"Kubritz?"
Krel whipped around, instinctively taking up a defensive battle stance startling the newcomer. That was... Seamus? And was holding an item in each hand, they didnt seem to be weapons though so he could relax somewhat. Not completely though, he has noticed around the education prison that some human males in their age group tended to be, well, boorish and found amusement in harassing other males they perceived as weak, and Krel's human form unfortunately suited that perception. Primitive. He'll be sure to correct that.
"Uh... hey," Seamus waved one of the things he held, the action stiff. His eyes flicked beyond Krel, looking over the equations behind him. "What're you working on?" His gaze followed the equation to the start, lingering on the work shown. "Looks complicated."
"You have no idea." Krel wasn't trusting this interaction, not that there was any reason to.
"Hey- Look, you can relax, uh, whatever move that is," Seamus gestured to Krel's posture with whatever it was he held. "What is that anyway? Judo? Jujitsu?"
Krel eased his stance but kept a leery eye still on the human. "Nothing you have ever seen, I assure you." He answered in little more than a monotone.
"Ookay...?" The human coughed, taking a few meeger steps toward him with a hand extended outward. "You want a burrito? I dunno if you've eaten yet or anything but it's an idea right?" He gave a pitiful laugh as he stopped only a few feet away, the thing in his hand slumping over his fingers like it was trying to slip out of his grip.
As a being of energy, Krel had no need to consume organic materials, but he has been curious. On another hand Earth has a history in poisoning consumables for enemies, again not that it should affect him, maybe.
A sigh escaped Seamus, seeming to notice Krel's reluctance. "I just want to apologize for my behavior." He said, "You didn't deserve it. You earned the grade fair and square."
"I suppose I should say that I'm relieved you've gained some sense." Krel retorted, not completely convinced.
"Okay... I earned that." Krel saw Seamus' grip tighten around the 'burrito', his restraint was admirable. "But you didn't have to let me win, so why did you?"
Krel finally took the burrito, examining it for a moment before tearing the aluminum wrapping like he's seen other humans do and bite into it. The texture was strange, soft, soggy; the taste was savory, it was weird feeling the crunch of vegetables but overall it wasn't bad but he didn't have much in expectations, so, another point for Earth.
"Wanna sit?" Seamus gestured to the the sidewalk. Krel didn't object, taking another bite of his burrito and joining him on the cold cement just a yard or so from a flickering lamppost.
"I had nothing to gain," he answered finally, getting a startled look, "from winning the math duel. Nothing to lose either, unlike you."
The human's head ducked almost sheepishly. He must have recalled how loud his father was in bellowing their agreement. If it could have been called that.
"Again, I'm sorry," he declared. "My dad just has high expectations. Very high."
"Understandable."
"Is it really?"
Krel frowned at him. "Just because my parents are not present does not mean I don't have my own problems with them."
Seamus' face turned even more guilt ridden. "R-right, sorry," he stammered, a red hue spreading over his features. He was quiet for a moment, taking large distracting bites of his own burrito. The silence allowed Krel a moment to gather his thoughts about the present situation, and possibly plan for what could happen next. Maybe he could somehow make Seamus an ally, like Aja had with the majority of their peers, to keep his disguise here. It certainly would make things easier than researching every tidbit about this mudball to blend in while Morando outsources the search for Gaylen's core. The question was how to do so.
"You," Seamus spoke up again, breaking the silence between them, "you came from a warring country, right, like Aja Tarron and her family?"
The words brought a bitter curl to his lips. Her family, may as well be, ironic, consider she used to run away from her family at every opportunity.
"Yes," Krel answered softly. "Maybe even the same country, if luck would have it." Some luck that would be.
"What happened? I-if you don't mind me asking."
The expression on Seamus' face was different from before; softer, solemn, perhaps even sympathetic. It's been a clear background to his class that Krel escaped from a war torn country with no family besides Morando who was discharged due to injury during the fight. Could this be the opportunity he needed to make Seamus his ally? To make a 'friend'? In one quote Krel had heard, he now understood. When opportunity knocks, it would be wise to open the door.
"I-it all happened so fast," Krel began, quickly coming up with details to twist the story from the traumatic reality. "It happened on the coronation day for the royal heirs; my parents both had high political and military positions so my sister and I were allowed good seats to see the crowning," he kept his voice low, allowing some of the emotion he kept at bay to fill his words, "everyone was excited, we all had high hopes. The princess hadn't made her appearance yet when the attack happened." Krel swallowed thickly as the real memory came to mind. The running, his parents ordering him and Zadra to find Aja, falling behind, and being left behind. "It was chaos; people were running everywhere, trying to find each other and to find shelter, soldiers and their weapons, the cannon fire..." his eyes were leaking again, it was too much already with so little spoken. What was wrong with him? "I- I was too slow, my... my parents- my sister, gah, what is wrong with me?" He took the fabric of his shirt, quickly trying to wipe away the streaming liquid, his chest felt heavy, his core ached. Krel hadn't felt like this since he first found Aja and their parents on Earth. His head hurt.
A hand touched his shoulder making him freeze up. "It's okay." Seamus' voice was calm, relaxing even. "You've been through a lot, huh?"
Krel sniffed, trying to regain some composure before answering. "You have no idea."
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