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nasa · 9 months

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NASA Inspires Your Crafty Creations for World Embroidery Day

It’s amazing what you can do with a little needle and thread! For #WorldEmbroideryDay, we asked what NASA imagery inspired you. You responded with a variety of embroidered creations, highlighting our different areas of study.

Here’s what we found:

Webb’s Carina Nebula

Wendy Edwards, a project coordinator with Earth Science Data Systems at NASA, created this embroidered piece inspired by Webb’s Carina Nebula image. Captured in infrared light, this image revealed for the first time previously invisible areas of star birth. Credit: Wendy Edwards, NASA. Pattern credit: Clare Bray, Climbing Goat Designs

Wendy Edwards, a project coordinator with Earth Science Data Systems at NASA, first learned cross stitch in middle school where she had to pick rotating electives and cross stitch/embroidery was one of the options. “When I look up to the stars and think about how incredibly, incomprehensibly big it is out there in the universe, I’m reminded that the universe isn’t ‘out there’ at all. We’re in it,” she said. Her latest piece focused on Webb’s image release of the Carina Nebula. The image showcased the telescope’s ability to peer through cosmic dust, shedding new light on how stars form.

Ocean Color Imagery: Exploring the North Caspian Sea

Danielle Currie of Satellite Stitches created a piece inspired by the Caspian Sea, taken by NASA’s ocean color satellites. Credit: Danielle Currie/Satellite Stitches

Danielle Currie is an environmental professional who resides in New Brunswick, Canada. She began embroidering at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic as a hobby to take her mind off the stress of the unknown. Danielle’s piece is titled “46.69, 50.43,” named after the coordinates of the area of the northern Caspian Sea captured by LandSat8 in 2019.

An image of the Caspian Sea captured by Landsat 8 in 2019. Credit: NASA

Two Hubble Images of the Pillars of Creation, 1995 and 2015

Melissa Cole of Star Stuff Stitching created an embroidery piece based on the Hubble image Pillars of Creation released in 1995. Credit: Melissa Cole, Star Stuff Stitching

Melissa Cole is an award-winning fiber artist from Philadelphia, PA, USA, inspired by the beauty and vastness of the universe. They began creating their own cross stitch patterns at 14, while living with their grandparents in rural Michigan, using colored pencils and graph paper. The Pillars of Creation (Eagle Nebula, M16), released by the Hubble Telescope in 1995 when Melissa was just 11 years old, captured the imagination of a young person in a rural, religious setting, with limited access to science education.

Lauren Wright Vartanian of the shop Neurons and Nebulas created this piece inspired by the Hubble Space Telescope’s 2015 25th anniversary re-capture of the Pillars of Creation. Credit: Lauren Wright Vartanian, Neurons and Nebulas

Lauren Wright Vartanian of Guelph, Ontario Canada considers herself a huge space nerd. She’s a multidisciplinary artist who took up hand sewing after the birth of her daughter. She’s currently working on the illustrations for a science themed alphabet book, made entirely out of textile art. It is being published by Firefly Books and comes out in the fall of 2024. Lauren said she was enamored by the original Pillars image released by Hubble in 1995. When Hubble released a higher resolution capture in 2015, she fell in love even further! This is her tribute to those well-known images.

James Webb Telescope Captures Pillars of Creation

Darci Lenker of Darci Lenker Art, created a rectangular version of Webb’s Pillars of Creation. Credit: Darci Lenker of Darci Lenker Art

Darci Lenker of Norman, Oklahoma started embroidery in college more than 20 years ago, but mainly only used it as an embellishment for her other fiber works. In 2015, she started a daily embroidery project where she planned to do one one-inch circle of embroidery every day for a year. She did a collection of miniature thread painted galaxies and nebulas for Science Museum Oklahoma in 2019. Lenker said she had previously embroidered the Hubble Telescope’s image of Pillars of Creation and was excited to see the new Webb Telescope image of the same thing. Lenker could not wait to stitch the same piece with bolder, more vivid colors.

Milky Way

Darci Lenker of Darci Lenker Art was inspired by NASA’s imaging of the Milky Way Galaxy. Credit: Darci Lenker

In this piece, Lenker became inspired by the Milky Way Galaxy, which is organized into spiral arms of giant stars that illuminate interstellar gas and dust. The Sun is in a finger called the Orion Spur.

The Cosmic Microwave Background

This image shows an embroidery design based on the cosmic microwave background, created by Jessica Campbell, who runs Astrostitches. Inside a tan wooden frame, a colorful oval is stitched onto a black background in shades of blue, green, yellow, and a little bit of red. Credit: Jessica Campbell/ Astrostitches

Jessica Campbell obtained her PhD in astrophysics from the University of Toronto studying interstellar dust and magnetic fields in the Milky Way Galaxy. Jessica promptly taught herself how to cross-stitch in March 2020 and has since enjoyed turning astronomical observations into realistic cross-stitches. Her piece was inspired by the cosmic microwave background, which displays the oldest light in the universe.

The full-sky image of the temperature fluctuations (shown as color differences) in the cosmic microwave background, made from nine years of WMAP observations. These are the seeds of galaxies, from a time when the universe was under 400,000 years old. Credit: NASA/WMAP Science Team

GISSTEMP: NASA’s Yearly Temperature Release

Katy Mersmann, a NASA social media specialist, created this embroidered piece based on NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) global annual temperature record. Earth’s average surface temperature in 2020 tied with 2016 as the warmest year on record. Credit: Katy Mersmann, NASA

Katy Mersmann is a social media specialist at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md. She started embroidering when she was in graduate school. Many of her pieces are inspired by her work as a communicator. With climate data in particular, she was inspired by the researchers who are doing the work to understand how the planet is changing. The GISTEMP piece above is based on a data visualization of 2020 global temperature anomalies, still currently tied for the warmest year on record.

In addition to embroidery, NASA continues to inspire art in all forms. Check out other creative takes with Landsat Crafts and the James Webb Space telescope public art gallery.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

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dcxdpdabbles · 3 months

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DC X DP Fanfic idea: It's all Fun and Games Kids!

Danny Fenton moves to Gotham.

He moved there not because his parents ran him out of the house. His dad was bawling and begging him to stay while his mother spent three full days writing up different graphs to show how much safer was by nearing by so they could protect him.

(It's not like he still lived with them. Danny had moved out to his own place in amity when he was twenty-five. Moving clear across state lines wasn't much of a difference in his eyes)

He moved there, not because the ectoplasm was high. Ectoplasm is everywhere on Earth, and quite frankly, Gotham's was as polluted as its water was. It made the air spicy.

He moved there not because he was offered an amazing job or a life-changing opportunity. Danny's full-time job was writing novels. They were all based on his adventures in the Ghost Zone -with changed names of course- and were a hit online. He also had all of the Ghost King's gold.

He moved there simply because Danny wanted to.

Something about the city called to him, in a way that said "Hey this could be your home." He visited once for a Humpty Dumpty concert and fell in love with the sights, the people, and the life of Gotham.

Now some people would accuse him of being mad. Those people probably had a rebellious teenage stage where they had done crazy things like sneak out of the house, underage drink, sleeping around, or smoke something.

Danny, when he was a teenager, was fighting for his life and the lives of the ungrateful townspeople.

He didn't get to his rebellious stage. He didn't get his rush of doing something stupid because he was young and thought himself bigger than life.

So here Danny is, living his life as he pleases to make up for it.

He doesn't have to sneak out of his house since he owns it, he rather not drink or smoke (would they even affect him? His healing factor has never been tested against it) and Danny would like to be emotionally attached if he decided to sleep with someone.

What then does a man with too much time, too much power, and not enough bad young person decisions do?

He flirts with Death.

Death just so happens to be Batman-shaped.

Now it's all fun and games. He knows he doesn't have a real chance with Batman- it's Batman. Way out of Danny's league.- but that doesn't mean he can allow himself to fall into stupid situations and be dramatically rescued by the crime fighter.

Now if only his kids weren't so good at their jobs.

"You really should be more careful, Mr. Fenton. This is the third time this week" Nightwing says while untieing him. Danny does his best not to pout at the other. He had been having fun finding the answers to the riddles.

He wasn't at all worried about the fact he was placed over a pool of burning chemicals. He had been tried to a chair that was carefully balanced on overlapping ropes. It wire would snap with each correct answer, until he would fall his demise unless they could outsmart the Riddler.

Danny had gotten five out of ten correct before Nightwing burst through the ceiling.

"I don't mind," Danny says rubbing his wrists. "Better me than someone innocent."

Nightwing's lips purse "You are innocent."

"Yes, but I hardly matter in the grand scheme of things." Danny waves his hand missing the look of distress on the hero's face. He looks around the darkness of the ceiling hoping to spot a certain crouching figure.

"Is Tall Dark and Daddy here with you?" He asks Nightwing when he fails to see him.

"Please don't call him that."

Danny shrugs, suppressing his smile. He twirls back around to Nightwing pulling out a piece of paper from his jean's pocket. "By the way, I found the other victims, hid them in the cellar, and drew a of map of Riddle's bombs for you. You're welcome."

Nightwing stares before carefully taking the map. He taps his ear twice, muttering in a code- for that may be English but sounded like gibberish that it can not be anything else but code- and only after he hears a voice respond back does the hero give a strained smile. "Thank you, Mr. Fenton. This helps a lot."

"You're welcome!" He repeats with a bright smile. It's so odd for his efforts to be appreciated. Odd but nice.

Danny waits for the other to do his Bat-trained disappearing act- sometimes he wonders if Gotham gave her Knights a form of invisibility- but the man remains.

He shuffles his feet uncomfortable and Danny's eyes light up. Oh! Another attempt to get him to stop flirting with his father. What fun~!

"Mr. Fenton.....last week Red Robin rescued you from the Joker. Do you remember?"

"Yes. Red Robin is a great kid."

"A kid....weird for you to call him that when he's only a few years younger than you." Nightwing starts but Danny holds up a hand.

"I'm older than you"

There is a tight frown on the other man's face now. "You are not."

"I am." Danny pulls out his wallet flashing his ID card. The downside to his Ghostly powers is that he seems to be aging at a slower rate- at least physically. His parents theorized that he would take two years instead of the one that his aging required. Not an accurate number but the closest they had especially since both his parents were late bloomers and had baby face.

While Danny might be thirty-eight he appeared to be no older than nineteen.

"Mr. Fenton I don't think you should be carrying a fake-"

"Stay away from my father Harlot!" Robin screeches falling down from the shadows above. He points a very sharp sword at Danny's neck, sneering the whole time. "He has better things to do than rescue a love-struck worthless fool!"

Danny, leans on the top of the sword, eyes drinking into Robin's slight flinch when it cuts his skin a little. This is it. The Rush he had been craving for.

"I don't mean to be kidnapped Robin honest. It just sort of happens in Gotham." He makes his voice and body innocent in a way even Orphan can not tell he is lying. He knows because Clockwork confirmed the last time they met that the girl read his body language just as he wanted her to.

The two ghosts met up regularly to watch his overly "sweet" eyes fluttering and cheerful "Oh Batman you rescued me~!" performances together for a good laugh.

"You lie! You plan for this to happen to try and seduce my Father!"

Huh. The kid was smarter then his foul mouth and snobby behavior looked. Still Danny only had to twist his face into confusion for Nightwing to step in. The other vigilantes pulled the scowling child away, scolding him for harassing frightened civilians.

It was fun to see but nothing beat making polite come-ons to Batman- nothing gross like catcalling but more of overly thankful and dreamy sighs. Maybe he should see what Two-face is up to?

Surely the man would take him hostage and Batman's many children would be too busy to save him thus leading the Dark Knight himself to come to his aid.

Or in a world where Danny Fenton decides that it would be hilarious if he took on a Brucie Wayne persona in Gotham. Complete with a Heart-eyes-it's-beefy-Batman mentality that tricks the Batfam into thinking he is a Himbo who has bad luck for always getting caught up in villain schemes for being at the wrong place and wrong time.

Also, the Bat kids make it their life goal to keep Bruce from rescuing Danny since they do not like watching Fenton flirt with their dad. Even if Bruce himself ignores the boy they can't really threaten him.

Danny Fenton isn't being malicious or anything. He's just a boy with a crush who doesn't know better.

Clockwork is cackling, recording his favorite parts of Danny's interactions with the Bats.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #It's all fun and games kids!#spirit halloween #The Batkids are stressed #Danny pretending to be a Himbo #Like Brucie but only towards Batman #Danny looks young as hell #Bruce is ignoring him for now #Slow burn???#Maybe???

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frostbitebakery · 27 days

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LOUD.

part one two three four five six seven eight nine

“You’ve got something there,” Quin says, gesturing vaguely at his own shoulder.

“I’m aware,” Obi-Wan signs. “It’s some sort of monkey lizard fungus.”

The monkey lizard fungus giggles into his shoulder.

Quin nods grimly. “I heard the only cure is to placate it with sweets and hope for the best.”

Anakin precariously leans over, heels accidentally digging into still bruised ribs.

Obi-Wan bites his lips behind the collar but of course Quin immediately detects his movements turning stiff.

Quin holds out an arm, flexing his bicep with wiggling eyebrows. It has the desired effect and Anakin jumps from Obi-Wan, swinging around the elbow before hooking his knees over Quin’s arm.

“He’s heavier than he looks,” Quin strains out.

They walk to one of the mess halls that’s open around the clock and mainly offers food and beverages to those clinging with teeth to their sanity during exam season.

One of the cramming Padawans looks up from their dozen holo books displaying graphs, and squints at them. “Master Vos, there’s something growing out of your arm?”

“Monkey lizard fungus,” Obi-Wan signs, hiding a smile behind his collar at the Padawan nodding to themselves as if that makes perfect sense.

“What’s with them?” Anakin asks, looking at the sleep deprived tableau and hoisting himself up and swinging one leg over Quin’s shoulder.

“This is your future,” Quin says gravely and Obi-Wan is catapulted to melting stone fire Darkness “You were supposed to be my Master!” yellow familiar eyes from a smoking alive corpse and the grief is ripping him apart “—see once you take your first assignments. The only places you’ll be is either here or the Archives.”

It’s been years since he last had a vision. It’s staggering, his heart thumping in his chest like a clock ticking down the inevitable countdown. But it’s not.

He looks over to Anakin who’s already watching back with wide eyes, the fear in his hands gripping onto Quinlan. “I won’t let it come to that,” he promises, fingers thudding together heavily but he’s still shaking off the vision and Anakin’s fear is a taste in the air by now. He can’t not make promises he only hopes he can keep.

Quinlan is silent during their exchange, gloved hands keeping hold of Anakin. The calculating look in his eyes a guarantee Obi-Wan is going to get cornered later.

“Do you like Depa being your Master?”

Let it be said, paranoia is a common infliction amongst Shadows.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin sighs, voice breaking with puberty and annoyance. “Depa is wizard. She’s amazing even though she’s signed me up to all these classes.”

Obi-Wan looks over all the models, plans, and concepts with added calculations. There’s a data pad displaying language modules and another proclaiming the joys of agriculture. “It’s almost all in the engineering field,” he signs.

“Which makes her so wizard. You’d never have me taking up gardening though,” Anakin adds sullenly.

Don’t yearn for things I cannot give you, Obi-Wan has thought a lot in the past few years as the Galaxy seems to slowly steep in Darkness.

“Knowing what can poison you is important,” he signs, feeling restless and helpless. The mission he’s finished two cycles ago may still reside in his bones.

“I’ll just bite back,” Anakin says, tongue sticking out as he connects wires to ports. He presses a button and the thing he’s been tinkering with since before Obi-Wan left starts to purr smoothly. “Now she can even juice cocadooms,” he says, satisfaction purring just as smoothly in his voice.

“Well done.”

“I know,” Anakin responds airily and swivels around to face Obi-Wan fully. “You’re lurking in the shadows again so let’s get this tradition over with: Depa is an awesome Master and maybe I sometimes wish you’d have chosen me but,” he adds loudly when Obi-Wan lifts his hands to protest, “I also sometimes daydream Master Tiin had chosen me because he’s got his own modded Delta-7.”

The paranoia settles down as Anakin waxes over how wicked the new wing box skins and sensor fusions are, no, truly, you should see them, Obi-Wan!

#loud au #jedi shadow!obi wan #mute!obi wan #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars #star wars au #my art #frostbitebakery art

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madkatiscool · 1 year

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Highlights from the entire MCYT Sexyman Tournament

Before the Tournament Began (Nomination Phase):

-Goodtimeswithscar getting over 2000 nominations for the poll

-Two people's minecraft ocs were nominated, and one of those ocs actually got into the competition

-The runners of the poll telling people not to tell the CCs about this, only for every CC to find out about this poll and start rallying their fans to vote for them

-Joe Hills got very jealous that Scar had more votes than him to the point where he literally used Tumblr Blaze to promote himself, and posted a video of him swimming in a pool on his blog

-Technodad also encouraging people to vote for his son after finding out about the polls

The Main Tournament:

-Dream getting absolutely decked by Seepeekay (deserved)

-Clownpierce and Tubbo's poll ending in 50% by 50% where the people running the poll had to go into the polls literal code to find out that Clownpierce won by only 18 votes

-Clownpierce getting beaten out by Aimsey in Round 2 immediately afterwards

-Quackity and Schlatt losing their polls at first, only for people to churn out propaganda, and getting them the wins by very close calls

-The Dominion SMP fandom made alliances with other fandoms (the Lifesteal fandom being one of them) to try and get Vikingpilot more votes

-JimmySolidarity looking at the polls and seeing that someone called him a "wet paper bag of a man"

-Martyn voting for his friends in the polls

-One Tumblr blog made a straight up news channel for the polls

-Someone else also made an easier way to read votes on polls

-Another person converted the voting data into line graphs

-Scott calling Jimmy a queerbaiter when their characters went up against each other

-The Scar vs Techno fight, the Wilbur vs Joe fight, and the Grian vs Quackity fight, all happening in the same round

-Huge amounts of voter fraud

-Grian winning his fight with Quackity, only for Quackblr to change the tides in the last few minutes (perhaps one of the craziest fights I have ever seen)

-The poll made it onto Tumblr trending

-Quackblr made an alliance with the Ethogirls, which eventually led to fanart of Quackity and Etho together, along with a few "infamous" edited photos (you know what I'm talking about)

-The voter fraud in the poll eventually lead to the possibility of Tumblr actually dealing with the pornbot situation

-The whole entire event had powerpoint presentations for peoples favorite blorbos, propaganda, fanart, alliances, even a few written oneshots

-Literally just every poll with Quackity

-Other people made polls inspired by this one (@mcytblrcringefail as one example)

-The fact that the poll literally revived the entire fandom

-The poll became canon in Jimmy’s 30 day Minecraft Hardcore server

-And most importantly, Joe Hills, the one MCYT who did the most campaigning, won the polls against Scar

Thank you @mcytblrsexymen. You have done an amazing job.

#mcyt sexyman #mcyt #mcyt fandom #mcytblr

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melyzard · 3 days

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The World is Amazing, Actually (Part 11 or 12, I lost count)

It's been awhile since I made a post about how fucking rad the world actually is, and amidst all the pandemics and climate change and economic troubles, I felt the need.

So:

Today’s Wild Place (The Earth is An Alien Planet):

The Danakil Depression, Ethiopia:

The Danakil Depression is probably the closest you'll ever be able to come to standing on the surface of Venus (without the crushing atmosphere, of course). Choking sulphuric acid and chlorine gases fill the air, while acid ponds and geysers pepper the landscape.

- Daisy Dobrijevic, published July 4, 2022

(BTW scientists recently discovered microbes capable of surviving in this toxic, extremely hot environment, which means...well, even if we kick the bucket, life will continue. There's something comforting in knowing that no matter how bad we screw up...life will go on.)

Today’s Incredible Feat of Engineering (look! at what! we made!):

Ouarzazate Solar Power Station in Morocco, which has gone solar in a big way.

(Which means they are making a huge contribution to helping fight toxic pollution, noise pollution, water use, land destruction, and carbon emissions. No really, there are charts. Reducing carbon emissions charts. Reducing irresponsible land use charts. Charts! Graphs! Data samples!)

Today’s Cool Life Form (the rare, the weird, the beautiful):

The Hispaniolan Solenodon.

A very rare, nocturnal, shrew-like creature that is one of the few mammals able to produce venom. Look at him! Look at his snout! He's just a little guy! He will bite you and run away on his back legs! He's rare, and endangered, but not gone! Not gone yet, bitches!

(Bonus: 10 Fun Facts About the Solenodon)

Today’s Bizarre Mystery (no, seriously, wtf?):

The Great Unconformity.

Hey, remember the Grand Canyon? Remember how we can see the passage of time through each layer, going back hundreds of thousands of years?

Did you know that apparently, on this massive record of earth's geological history, there's a chunk of time missing? Science has some hypotheses about how and why this happens (and yes, it's been found in more than one place), but they are really only hypotheses, and no one's really sure what happened to, oh, 1.6 billion years, give or take.

Today’s Act of Humanity (yes, we are worth the effort):

After fleeing a war, Ukrainians rush to help Mississippi tornado victims.

"They made the 16-hour drive south to donate bottled water and volunteer with aid workers, buoyed by the idea that they could help a community facing a similar struggle to theirs.

“We had to leave our home,” Pavliuk told The Washington Post in Ukrainian, in an interview interpreted by Hrebenyk. “And they don’t have a place to go back, either.”"

NEW CATEGORY:

Today's Good News About The Future (No, It's Not Too Late and Anyone Who Says Otherwise is Selling Something):

The Saiga Antelope, a species critical to the continued survival of huge swathes of grassland, that in 2003 was down to 6% of it's population and already extinct in it's natural habitat of China and Ukraine, has rebounded back to almost 2 million strong thanks to conservation efforts.

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bowtiepastabitch · 3 months

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Good Omens Fanfic Data: 2023

Top 5 Tags Per Month

Excludes basic a/c ship tags. Common tags coded by color. Interesting changes or patterns are in bold.

January: fluff, human au, humor, post-canon, established relationship

February: fluff, angst, human au, established relationship, hurt/comfort

March: fluff, human au, angst, post-canon, first kiss (honorable mention: pining)

April: fluff, human au, angst, hurt/comfort, first kiss (honorable mention: humor)

May: fluff, human au, blairamok's #IneffableMay, established relationship, hurt/comfort

June: fluff, human au, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst

July: fluff, angst, fix-it, hurt/comfort, s2 spoilers

~~~~SEASON TWO~~~~

August: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, post s2, s2 spoilers (honorable mention: fix-it) (@neil-gaiman you know what you did)

September: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, crowley is a mess, ineffable idiots

October: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, post s2, crowley is a mess

November: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, crowley is a mess, post s2 (honorable mentions: angst with a happy ending, hurt crowley)

December: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, ineffable idiots, crowley is a mess (honorable mention: Christmas)

January 2024: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, crowley is a mess, human au (honorable mention: anal sex)

At time of posting there are still a couple hours left on the poll that I plan to use for additional GO fic data, so please go vote if you haven't already. Info about how the process for this is under the cut:)

Data was collected on February first, 2023, using Ao3's filtering system. Each month represents fics updated from the first through last days of the month. Please note that fics are filtered by when it was updated, not originally published, so longer running fics will be sorted under when they were finished or last added to. Unrated fics are not included in the graph, an oversight on my part whilst collecting data, but make up a very small portion of total fics and are often podfics or artwork.

Tags excluded in tag rankings are: "Aziraphale loves Crowley", "Crowley loves Aziraphale", and "Ineffable Husbands", which were consistently ranked among the top tags and I found unhelpful for determining patterns in fan engagement since they are, after all, simply facts. Honorable mentions are tags that ranked within the top 10 tags for the month which were unique to the month or contributed to an interesting trend.

Data collection is all done by me, so slight errors in copying down information are possible. Yes I made teen purple instead of yellow, I found it aesthetically pleasing. So sue me.

January of 2024 was included because I thought the additional data provided interesting information, especially the return of the human au tag (officially "alternate universe-human"), the higher ratio of explicit to nonexplicit fics, and the debut of "anal sex" in the top ten tags. It was a great month for the fandom.

Current other data projects include average word-counts by month and estimation of the total number of words written by members of the fandom. If there's any data or patterns you'd like to see, or questions you'd like answered, drop them in my ask box!

All of this is dedicated to the wonderful amazing writers in the fandom, including lovely mutuals whose work I totally recommend @voluptatiscausa @fellshish @phoen1xr0se @indigovigilance @ineffabildaddy (if I didn't tag you don't read into it, I've got a medically-concerningly bad memory and just popped through my recent reads on ao3.)

#top tags are also here if you expand it #good omens #gomens #good omens fanfiction #good omens fandom #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #neil gaiman #good omens 2 #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable spouses #fandom meta #ao3

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izupie · 2 years

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I think it's the ALMOST canon ships that get the best, most intricately woven, beautifully told fanfiction.

those nearly-kind-of-almost-maybe-could-be canon couples

the ones that make it almost painful to live with the knowledge that if just one or two things had happened differently, just one or two things: if one of them had said something differently here, done something differently there, or if certain events had shifted a little, just a fraction, they'd have been together - undoubtedly.

you can see it. everyone can see it. but it's not enough - they're still an almost-but-not-quite, maybe-but-it-was-never-confirmed, kind-of-but-annoyingly-ambiguous

fanfiction writers take their potential and they hold it close and they lovingly craft something amazing and beautiful with it - finally giving them the chance to be together like everyone knows they would be in-canon if the story wasn't against them

they spring out entire novels from canon-divergence in the places where just a little step in another direction could have led to them being together

they build whole intricate Alternate Universes where the characters are able to meet in an entirely different way and still fall for each other

what I'm saying is that the insanity of a ship where it was almost-canon drives writers to a specific kind of creative madness that produces the best fanfiction....

so if you check out my graph here you can see the line for the more almost it gets vs the more unhinged and motivated it makes the writers both rising in a wonderfully clear diagonal line and today I will be discussing the

#I am having feral thoughts about my favourite ships never quite being canon tonight lads #and how wonderful the fanfiction is from these ships #destiel #klaroline #reddie #bellarke #zutara #shipping stuff #shipping #fanfiction

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gyusimp · 10 months

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°• 🍡 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜 🍡 •° [Dom Mitsuri Kanroji x Fem reader]

Ok, I know this post is a bit different so let me explain. I have a friend who's sickly in love with Mitsuri, so she literally paid me to write a fic for her hahaha. I had never written femxfem before, doing this took me out of my comfort zone and even helped me unblock myself! It was a new experience and at the same time fun, I was satisfied with the result so I wanted to post it here in case anyone is interested lmao otherwise just ignore it. I'll post it on AO3 later too.

°•Read Part 02 here!

You were outside her door, in the hallway of her apartment after ringing the bell. Mitsuri would not take long to leave and so it was. After about 10 seconds she appeared on the other side of the door with a big smile on her face as she invited you in.

You had a math test in 1 week at university, you weren't exactly good at math so your friend immediately offered to give you some lessons, practice some topics and help you pass the test with the highest possible score.

"Welcome back, y/n-chan!" She greeted you, excited.

You took off your shoes and left them at the entrance and then headed to Mitsuri's room, the sound of your bare feet and hers walking on the floor accompanied their voices down the hall until she entered her room. The study desk was clean and tidy ready to work so you put your small backpack on the floor next to the bed and sat on one of the chairs that Mitsuri had brought.

"Thank you so much Mitsuri, you have no idea how much this will help me, you are amazing." You thanked her, for the thousandth time since she offered you her help.

"It's nothing y/n-chan! Anything for my friend" she said with flushed cheeks, moving one of her hands while holding her face embarrassedly with the other. "How about we start now?" One took a seat next to the other, you took out some graph paper, your pencil case and your math book. You told Mitsuri what you had to study and which ones were difficult for you, she was not only very good at math but she was also very sweet and patient with you so that gave you enough confidence to ask all the questions you wanted.

She was as sweet as a kindergarten teacher, she even congratulated you when the answer in the exercises you did was correct. It had already been 1 hour and a half since the study session began so the best thing was a short break to clear your mind and prevent you from falling asleep.

"You're doing great! How about a 20 minute break?"

"Cool, I didn't want to fall asleep." You joked, laughing with Mitsuri.

"I'll go get a glass of water, do you want water too?" She asked.

"OK thanks."

Mitsuri stood up and stretched raising her arms, you looked for no reason in her direction without thinking and watched just as she adjusted her skirt after standing up making your chest jump. Mitsuri always wore tight or short clothes, and this skirt was very short so you could see the beginning of her butt as she started to walk towards the door. When she left the room you tried to erase that image from your head and think about something else, maybe read your notes again and thus distract yourself quickly but all that came to mind was the scene when she opened the door of her apartment and the first thing you saw after her face was her tight bust under the little t-shirt she was wearing and that prominent v-neckline showing a big part of the beginning of her boobs. Was it starting to get hot? You decided to take off the cardigan you were wearing and freshen up, luckily you were wearing shorts and a tank top.

After a few seconds, the pink-haired girl entered the room with 2 glasses of water in her hands, the water was so cold that small drops slipped down the glass.

"Thanks girl, this was what I needed." You said, hoping that drinking something cool would stop your pulse racing.

ೃ࿐♡ೃ࿐♡ೃ࿐♡ೃ࿐♡ೃ࿐♡ೃ࿐♡

About 25 minutes of class passed after having had that little break time, you were starting to get bored and despite putting all your effort into paying attention you couldn't solve this exercise. The problems were the most difficult and Mitsuri noticed your frustrated expression trying to solve it.

"Do you have any question?" She asked attentively.

"I can't understand this part, do the exponents have to be multiplied here too? Agh! I feel so stupid..."

"You're not stupid y/n-chan! You've already managed to solve other exercises, you're very smart!"

You looked at the clock on the screen of your cell phone, there was still time to complete the agreed 2 hours of study so you sighed tired when you thought about it.

"So far you've done really well, so I think we can take another break." Mitsuri said, trying to cheer you up.

"Ok, I hope that helps." You got up from the chair and stretched again as did Mitsuri. She got up from the chair and walked to her bed to get on and crawl on the mattress towards the pillows, you looked behind you and realized two things that made you feel too nervous again. She sat cross-legged but her skirt was very short so inevitably you could see her panties and because of the position of her legs you could have seen more but you decided to place your eyes elsewhere.

"Even I feel a bit tired" Mitsuri said.

"What are you talking about? I'm the one who's been burning out her one neuron." You teased, both of you laughing in unison.

"I mean, I've never spent so much time sitting in those chairs, I usually use my bed as a study area so now my back is tingling haha."

"Me too!" You said, sitting on the bed next to her.

Mitsuri sighed and ran one of her hands over her shoulder and back. "Do you mind?" She asked. You didn't have time to react when she reached under her clothes to unhook her bra and remove it, throwing it elsewhere.

"N-not at all, don't worry." You and Mitsuri were quite confident so she was used to doing things like this in front of you without knowing that you were trying hard to hide your nerves.

"These things can be really uncomfortable sometimes, especially when, well...you know." She said, pouting as she massaged her breasts. Why had she done that? Now you felt bad for not being able to stop seeing her. Her little shirt was so tight to her body that it hugged her breasts perfectly, making her nipples stand out from under the fabric. Her breasts were large and the way they bounced under her clothes when she took off her bra kept replaying inside your head. "Sure you're not hot? I can turn on the fan if you want."

"Oh thank you. I'd like that very much."

You stayed sitting on the bed hugging your knees while Mitsuri stood up to go turn on the fan. When you felt the cool breeze hit your skin, you couldn't help but close your eyes and lie down on the pillows while leaving your legs bent. You felt a movement on the mattress so you assumed that Mitsuri had returned to the bed but then she didn't move again and remained silent so you wonder if she was still there or had left the room so you opened your eyes to find out. When you opened your eyes, you caught Mitsuri looking directly at your thighs and between your legs, with your knees bent that way she could easily see your panties under your shorts. This definitely made you too nervous, you were about to sit down and close your legs but another thought came to your head faster. She was also watching you like you were a while ago so that got you a bit horny.

Your face was very red just like Mitsuri's when she felt trapped by you but despite that she didn't try to hide what she was doing or at least try to look a little shy so that only made you keep moving forward.

"All in order?" You asked, spreading your legs with the excuse that your knees were blocking the view of her face in front of you.

At this point it was quite likely that you didn't care anymore and both of you would completely lose your shame.

"What are you talking about?" Mitsuri asked, starting to crawl towards you on the mattress.

"You didn't stop looking at me, it's unfair if I have my eyes closed." You answer.

Sometimes you two used to joke around in similar ways but now, things were getting a bit further, you both subconsciously expected one of you to stop but you kept going. You kept your legs open and Mitsuri lay on your abdomen between them, causing your core to rub dangerously against her and feeling her breasts lean against you.

"Of course that's fair, you were looking at me too so now we're even." She said, making you blush.

Both of you fell silent, Mitsuri staring at you while you tried to look anywhere but her face and that included the low neckline of her t-shirt in front of you. Mitsuri moved in place, at first you thought that she was settling into her place or she would just get up and the class would continue but everything changed when you realized that she started rubbing on you provocatively. Mitsuri settled her legs on the bed keeping one straight and the other bent to rub her own core against her panties and the mattress making her large breasts massage over you. The position of her legs made her little skirt mess up, leaving her butt exposed, showing you her tight little lace panties.

You didn't say anything, you just gasped and spread your legs more so that she could fit better in the middle of you. She smiled at you with desire so that she felt more confident to move as she wanted. Mitsuri placed her arms on each side of you to hold on better and continue rubbing on the mattress and on top of you, she even had the courage to start panting a little just to annoy you and increase your blush. Mitsuri wouldn't stop looking at you and see doing this kind of thing made you feel too nervous and even more when she was so close to you; but you'd be lying if you thought this moment was weird or awkward, each passing minute turning you on more and more and just waiting for one thing to lead to the next. You wondered if at some point she was going to touch you.

"This feels s-so good..." Mitsuri gasped. She settled between your legs and lowered one of her hands to her panties to take them and rub them better against her wet core. "You've never tried this before y/n-chan?...it feels really good."

"N-no..." you managed to reply, feeling her breasts on you turned you on more and more besides the sight in front of you.

"Really? Never before?...self-satisfaction is just as important as self-love, girl." She told you.

You didn't know what to answer, Mitsuri settled back and took her hand out from between her legs. She held on to the mattress again and it was after that when she groped her hand directly between your legs inside your shorts, over your dressed cunt making you arch your back in surprise. You were about to say something but you didn't even have time because she started rubbing her fingers against your panties causing a lot of friction with each brush of the fabric.

"A-AAH!" You moaned, surprised to feel her fingers in your panties.

Hearing your voice like that made Mitsuri turn on more, causing her to start moving her fingers faster as well as her hips against the bed. With every movement, she could feel her wet panties brushing over and over again in the middle of her slit, right on her slippery clit. The feeling was perfect so she wanted you to experience it too.

"Y/n-chan...I want to make you feel really good, aah-ah." she moaned.

Mitsuri took her hand out of your panties for just an instant, grabbing your shorts and pulling them down over your hips and butt until she took them off and tossed them around, exposing your black lace panties fitting your pussy on her face.

The pink-haired girl's fingers took the center of your panties and she began to rub the fabric making sure that each touch was right on your clit just like she did until little by little you were wetting the fabric of your underwear; you even started to move your hips to get a better feel. Mitsuri noticed that you began to get wet very quickly and slowly began to moan in need.

"D-doesn't that feel amazing?" Mitsuri asked. "The rub on the clit is perfect-aah! I'm so-so wet! And you too...mmhh."

You were both about to cum if she continued like this, but Mitsuri didn't want this to happen, at least not yet. She wanted to try more things and at the same time make sure that you enjoyed it as much as she did. Mitsuri stopped and got up, tooked off her skirt and sat up to crawl over to you.

"Don't you think it would be better to feel…closer?" She proposed to you, biting her pink lip. She traced a line with her finger all over your slit, feeling your wet labia. "We are both very wet." You stayed in the same position and Mitsuri imitated it in front of you, legs spread and leaning on her arms on the bed. "I'd like to feel you…here" she said, spreading her legs and making her panties shift to let her cunt peek out from under the fabric.

"Then do it..." you replied.

Hearing that made her heart jump with happiness. Mitsuri came up to you and took your panties off, then she got rid of her panties as well and left them lying around. She took your thighs squeezing them sensually to accommodate your legs around her waist and make you hook her between your legs. She did the same and that's when you realized how flexible Mitsuri was when she spread your legs and hers and hooked you in the same way against the bed, letting her breasts crash against yours almost on your face. When he was in the position she wanted, she dropped putting some pressure on you and sat down so that her pussy was exactly on yours, making you moan when you felt his wet labia. Mitsuri leaned over and settled on your hips, holding onto her arms on either side of you and beginning to move her hips, slow movements in circles and back and forth. The contact between your most sensitive points was direct, the position of the open legs of both and each of the movements made your lips move and your cunts open to collide and slide against each other.

Wet sounds began to accompany your and her moans throughout the room, you moved your hips against Mitsuri's to cause more friction. Both cunts wet rubbing each other, your clit massaging against Mitsuri's was the most perfect sensation you've ever felt in your life. You looked up or squeezed your eyes but when you looked ahead and saw Mitsuri's neckline you completely sank in pleasure and didn't take your eyes off her. Her tits moved and bounced on you with each of her thrusts, her hard nipples standing out under her tight t-shirt. Mitsuri's movements began to get faster and faster, crashing and bouncing off of you, she began to grind her vagina against yours increasing the odds of bringing both of you an amazing orgasm. You realized something, Mitsuri's t-shirt was too small and her bust was too big, her boobs began to bounce more and more forcefully from her cleavage and seeing that made you crazy and she didn't seem to care at all; she just kept moving on you, getting wet on your vagina until the position she was in and her strong thrusts caused one of her breasts to come completely out of her clothes bouncing on you and then her other tit did the same. You didn't take your eyes off her, her pink nipples were rubbing on your chest so you decided to take them to massage them with your hands and make her as aroused as you were.

"Y-your boobs are so big-aah! I love them."

"You're also...a-aah- you're beautiful y/n-chan! Your little wet cunt is so cute ah-mnnh!" Mitsuri moved away from you a bit and took off her shirt, making her breasts bounce even more when she took it off. You didn't stop seeing her for a second, moving more.

When she returned to the position she was in, you put both hands directly on her butt to massage it and put some downward pressure so that your cunt was closer to hers, you squeezed and touched her ass making her moan for a long time until that you felt the need for more. Your left hand slid between her buttocks until it reached her wet pussy and your right hand began to play with your own pussy or the part that Mitsuri's couldn't cover, wetting the fingers of both hands, pumping your own hole and feeling this made Mitsuri squirm on top of you, leaning her head back moaning with all her might and moving faster on top of you. Your juices and hers splashed between her slippery cunt and your legs spread wider to rub you with each of her folds.

"AA-AH! Yy/n...y/n-chan! Mmghh-aah!! D-you think you're gonna cum already?"

You couldn't even answer because you were about to, you moved your hips hard to feel Mitsuri on your clit while you tightened around your fingers, you squeezed Mitsuri's ass again making her moan as you did when a warm sensation it went down from your abdomen straight into your pelvis.

"AAH-AAH MITSURI!! I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum! AAH!!"

Your legs spread wide, your back arched and a sticky white discharge shot straight out of your vagina drenching Mitsuri, causing her to do the same and cum in your pussy. Both wetting each other while she was still bouncing her pussy against yours in reaction to the orgasm until her speed slowed down.

Her thighs and yours were wet and sticky, you saw Mitsuri's breasts and as they glistened with sweat, sweat dripped from the back of your knees to your feet and your legs trembled as did your breath. Mitsuri lay down next to you and let both of you stretch out your legs after staying in that position for so long. Before she fully pulled away from you, you could see thin white threads coming from her cunt joining yours, leaving you wet and feeling slippery between your legs. Mitsuri's chest rose and fell with her heavy breathing, even though neither of you spoke it wasn't an awkward moment at all. You two looked into each other's eyes and different parts of your body at the same time. You didn't know what time it was, you even completely forgot the reason you were here, you saw the desk and looked at all your study material and then you saw the time on the clock next to the bed on a small table. 6:44 pm It was already getting dark outside and that worried you a bit.

"That was a very interesting lesson." You said, breaking the silence.

"We should repeat it another day, don't you think?" Mitsuri spoke, sensually.

"You think so? Then you won't be able to get me out of here that easily in a study session." You joked.

"You don't have to go today, I know it can be dangerous to go out at night so you can spend the night here..."

"You mean...a second round?" You said, getting up to approach Mitsuri.

"If that's what you want."

"Only if you let me go above you this time..." you replied, straddling her.

#kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #mitsuri kanroji #mitsuri #mitsuri x y/n #mitsuri x reader #mitsuri smut #mitsurikanrojismut #mitsurixfemreader #fem x fem #kimetsu no yaiba smut

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ao3commentoftheday · 5 months

Note

Any tips for motivation to finish a fic in this situation:

I'm a couple chapters from the end on a fic I'm writing, when someone else in the same fandom posts an extremely similar fic but it's a one-shot. It's not exactly the same as mine, but it's the same universe and multiple plot points are really similar.

What I want to believe is that I'm so happy they were clearly inspired by mine, because their fic is honestly amazing. But I'm afraid that my ending won't be as interesting now, because of the similarities, even though I planned it in advance. And I've lost the motivation to post it. How to get it back?

You might have heard of the Two Cakes Rule, but in case you haven't, around about a decade ago tumblr artist @stuffman created a comic that really resonated in which a disappointed artist looks at a simple cake they've made as they place it next to a beautifully decorated layer cake and they say "Aw man. That guy's cake is way better than mine." In the second panel of the comic, an audience member smiles broadly with eyes lit up with joy. They hold a knife and fork at the ready and say, "HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!"

Right now, you're comparing your work to that other person's work and worrying that yours might be worse somehow. It's entirely possible that the other author feels the same way, in reverse. Even if they don't, though, remember that their fic existing doesn't take anything away from yours.

My first fic on my previous fandom was about two science nerds in university who are doing "sex research" with each other. I didn't realize when I started it that another author (who became my friend!) was writing the same premise at the same time. I was posting mine as I went and she was writing hers out ahead of time, to be posted for a holiday exchange. Our fics both had sex-because-science, friends-to-lovers, lab sex, a watch-like device that characters wore to take readings during the sexual activity, charts and graphs, bonkers theories about the effects of sex on the brain - and that's just the similarities off the top of my head.

She stopped reading mine at chapter 2 or 3 because she was so worried about how similar they were, but when she posted hers and we finally got a chance to read both fics to completion? We were tackling basically the same plot and tropes and even plot devices in such similar-yet-different ways. It was awesome!

If you love your story, keep writing your story. You know what you want to say and how you want to say it. Those are two things that not every writer can say when they start out.

Your story is going to be amazing because you wrote it. You got this. ❤️

#asks and answers

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 7 months

Text

A (Partial, Hypothetical) Map of the

Arachno-Humanoid PolyMultiverse

[A slightly MEDIUM length post where I mapped out and explain the positions of the different universes we see in ATSV -

and how those distances can effect everything to travel time - to the reason why Miles got bitten (maybe..based on my charting and data)]

Did I use common grouping and graphing to make a connectivity map of the universes within the Arachno-Humanoid-PolyMultiverse based on common attributes and similarities?

Why no - I didn't. Lyla gave me this map this morning. So there. _______________________________________

You know what pisses me off? ATSV showing us amazing ass things and then not stopping to explain them at all. Lucky for them, I have autism, a keyboard, and way too much time. So allow me.

'This is Everything': Okay but what is it?

The Spider-verse series is like an expert at going 'this is super interesting but i also I refuse to explain'

But one thing I've always found this SUPER interesting - The Portals. Because LOOK AT THEM. Like... the watch is creating a channel along a set path! It has velocity! How fast are they going? How far?!!

In lots of other Marvel movies like Doctor Strange, teleportation between universes is instantaneous. This is true for a lot of sci-fi.

However, for Spider-verse, they chose something different.

We see them flying and falling through portals, many of them twisting and turning. And it got me thinking -

If they're flying from point A to point B - Doesn't that imply that the universes have set locations - with measurable, varying distance between them?

And if so - how close are they together? Does it always take the same amount of time? Are some too far to get to without jumping to a closer location first?

So many possibilities! I was so curious to make sense of this. How does the watch KNOW where to go? Where every universe is?

The Solution:

I realized that each universe has similarities - and if similarity = proximity, there could be a way to map the universes by asking three simple questions:

Are they in the modern era? Are they in New York - or something like it? Are they stylized?

And what I got was a map that actually explains some very interesting things in the movie! (If you play by my logic, lol)

Graph Breakdown : How to read

[Explainer and breakdown below the cut PLUS a clearer version - so you can map out your sona!]

The graph is made up of two different points - Cluster Centers & Universes:

The Three Clusters: Location, Time, & Style

Cluster Centers are specific attributes that universes share, and these attributes clump similar universes together, shortening the distance between them.

There are 3 cluster centers, based on the three questions:

The Time Desynchronization Cluster: For universes that exist outside of the modern era The Stylization Cluster: For universes with artistic stylization The New York Cluster: For universes in which the Spider-person is based in New York, or a rendition of it.

These clusters are arranged in a triangle with sides of equal length.

Then, a universe is placed on the map based on whether they fit the criteria and how much they fit the criteria.

How much they fit each criteria determines each universe's proximity to each other, and the pathways the watches will take to get from location to location as quick as possible.

For example:

Plotting Universes: Distances & Changes

Using these three Clusters, we can plot almost any Spider-person or Spidersona on the map!

Universes that share attributes and clusters are closer together, shortening the distance and time it takes to complete jumps.

In addition, universes with lots of cluster connections and nearby universes are considered more stable, the strands of the web closer together, and quicker in general.

And just for reference:

The places in which the universes' lines cross are common canon events they share.

Looking at the plotted Universes, we can see some cool things about how they work:

[My lovely OC's, DiscoSpider Diane and Inca-Spider Moche plotted as examples]

The proximity matters in context too! And it seems to effect a lot of things - like observably in the movie.

The closeness of two universes, can possibly explain the time it takes to get there, why some people fall into other universes, and how easy it is to assimilate into another's universe.

Some cool things to note:

Gwen and Miles' universes are next to each other. Which could explain how she fell into his world. Gwen is way more stylized than Miles, so she's closer to that Cluster than he is.

Peter's universe (not charted..lol) would be next to Miles' & Pavitrs - which also explains his involvement in ITSV.

Noir, Spider-Ham, and Peni Parker would all be close-by as well.

Miles and Pavi's universes are next to each other. Miles & Pavi share all three attributes. Because of this, Miles and Pavi's universes are right next to each other. Which could be why Gwen & Miles' jump to Mumbattan is very short and quick.

Pavi's universe is next to HQ. Pavi is modern, low-stylization, and based in a New York adjacent city. This is true for Miguel too, however, he's in 2099, desynchronized from time. Them being right next to each other could explain how so many members of the Spider Society arrived to Mumbattan quickly to contain the anomaly - as all they would need to do is traverse the time difference.

The stylized characters are charted 'most stylized' to least - left to right, based on medium/inspo: Gwen being first (watercolor), then Hobie (collages of prints, text, and real people), and then Noir (completely shaded with no color, but based off of live-action films), then Patrick a.k.a Webslinger (based on live-action Westerns).

Because of this layout, Hobie's universe borders Gwen's. This could explain how Gwen stayed at his place without being noticed for her differing style (which - as we see with Miles and Spider-Ham, would be obvious). But Gwen universe being nearby, could be why she didn't stand out too much.

Hobie's universe borders Noir's. This is very cute. I love them. Happy feelings.

Noir's universe borders Diane's. Because they both live in New York, and are desynchronized from time (Noir being 1933, and Diane 1982) - Noir and Diane's universe sit next to each other. This makes a lot of sense - Noir's world is perpetually white and black - literally 'noir', while Diane's world lacks a day-cycle, making it always night-time.

Because they share these attributes with Miguel as well - Nueva York, 2099 - Noir and Diane actually live 'closest' to campus, along with Pavitr third.

Despite both being O'hara's, Patrick's universe is REALLY far from Miguel's. This is because WebSlinger's universe is time desynchronized in the opposite direction, very far in the past. He's also stylized - and he lives in the Wild West, not New York. Hence the distance.

As is Moche's - Miguel's wife. Like Miguel, Moche lives in a time desynchronized universe (his 2099, hers 1992) - however Moche is from Peru, hence why her and Patrick are the farthest from the New York Cluster. Moche's world is stylized as photorealistic, moreso than Miles, so she's the farthest from that cluster as well.

Miles' and Wiles' universes would be almost directly next to each other - which explains the spider-bite and the fact Miles' DNA changed so easily. Not all variants are next to each other though - Hobie's 616 Prowler variant is actually pretty far from his.

Uhhh...yeah, I think that's everything. But mind you - that's only a two dimensional slice of THIS

Hopefully I was able to decode like 0.0001% of it.

This is all speculation and my imagination, But what came out of it is INTERESTING AS HELL TO ME. Writers...pleasee...feed me more random stills in which I can consume.

Also Miguel if you're reading this please hire me I have a degree in Archnohumanoid Poly-Multiversal Research that's good for nothing and I desperately need a job-

________________________________

I hope you liked this and this made sense! It was just a fun little experiment to do that turned out to be REALLY interesting to chart out/decipher.

Lemme know what you think about how it all works and stuff and what you think of this!

If you made it this far! Thank you so much!! SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

Here's a copy of the map with smaller universes, so you can slot in your own sonas! Plus, a pic of Hobie for your troubles.

His eyes are so pretty. Can you believe he's in love with my Spidersona thats crazzzyy

Bye.

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

Illicit Affairs | Chapter IV: Evermore

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have to navigate a lot of painful memories on your first day in a new body

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, cursing

Word Count: 6,2k words

A/N: Chapter 4 is the longest chapter I have written so far. There's definitely some fluff in there and some light hearted, beautiful moments, but it's also the darkest chapter I have written so far. There's some heavy stuff in there, so please read with caution! I wanted my characters to be well rounded and for there to be a good reason for every action they take; why the reader is a recluse, why Neteyam behaves the way he does, and why he left. There's layers to their story that will be unveiled through memories from both the main characters, so I hope you stick around to see where I plan to take this story <3 I never expected people to like it so much, and I hope you guys like what I have planned!

"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone Trying to find the one where I went wrong And I couldn't be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore"

“Am I allowed to be here?” Neteyam says, carefully taking in the new environment that he’s never wondered through before. It was small and dark, his eyes needing a second to adjust to the contrast from the bright neon orbs that illuminated the hallways. His nose scrunched up, trying to assimilate the smell, and realised it just smells like you.

“Who is going to stop you?” you laugh, and the sounds reverberates through his body and settles deep in his soul. He’s heard this sounds countless times in the 14 years he’s known you. It never ceased to amaze him.

You take off your Converse shoes and throw them carelessly to the side, jump on the bed and reach for the light on the other side of it, sitting on the bedside table. The lamp turns on and Neteyam finds himself having to adjust to the brightness once more. He settles on the chair that was accompanying a small messy desk, filled with papers, books and electronic tablets that had something you called a graph on it. The words “cell viability” were written on top of it, but Neteyam didn’t know what that meant, so he turned his attention to the many, many books that were displayed on the shelves above the desk.

He’s seen some of them before, some of them multiple times, as you did seem to have your favourites. He picked one up he recognised. It was called Pride and Prejudice and Neteyam assumed it was written by a person named Jane Austen. He knew you loved this book, but he’s never asked why.

“I love that one…” you started.

“I know” he says in Na’vi. “I just don’t know why.”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. My mum read me paragraphs from it growing up, and it’s just a book that brings me comfort. I’ve read it so many times, I’ve memorised it, so it’s like a blanket. It makes me feel safe.”

“What is it about?” Neteyam probed further.

You thought about it for a second.

“It’s a story about two people who come from different worlds, and their journey of understanding each other and overcoming their feelings of, you guessed it, pride and prejudice towards one another and towards each other’s world.”

He sat with this new information for a while. “So like us?”

“Mmm, I don’t think it’s like us at all. I think it’s more about my mum and dad, or at least I think my mum thought of her and dad when reading it.”

Your words upset him, he realises in slight surprise. He looks at your figure sprawled over the bed looking up at the ceiling above you in contemplation and feels a pang of hurt as he considers the fact you didn’t think of him when reading a book so close to your heart.

“I have a quote from another book that reminds me of you, though.” Almost as if you read his mind, you turned your head towards him with a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

He didn’t look at you, a small pout erupting from his lips without meaning to. You laugh at him and smile endearingly, softly shaking your head.

You jump from the bed, slightly wincing when your left leg registers the action, and click your tongue at him so he can move from where he was sat. He obliged and found another spot on the bed, which was now emanating the warmth of your body, and he slowly touched the blanket as if trying to commit the feeling to memory. You climbed on the chair with another small wince and found a book on the uppermost shelf. You jumped from the chair straight on to the bed and fell next to him.

Patting the spot next to you, you signalled for him to lie down. He did, although his legs were completely off the bed, the tiny contraption barely able to accommodate his torso. You let out a small laugh, but seemed happy to have him so close.

You placed your head on his chest, and he prayed you couldn’t hear the way his heart felt like it was trying to escape his ribcage at your proximity and warmth. You opened the book and looked for the quote.

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

“Get the fuck out of my room, Neteyam.”

You had just finished washing the day off when you heard a small knock on the door. Still reeling from the fight, it was taking everything out of you to muster up the strength to open that door and deal with whatever was waiting on the other side. With a deep sigh, you did so anyway. It was surprising for you to find Jake peering at you from the other side of the open door, a curious look on his handsome face.

“Hey kid. We’re going to get going now. I just wanted to talk to you for a second before hand. Can I come in?”

You hesitated for a second, then moved so he could enter.

“So..” He started awkwardly. “I don’t really know how to do this.” You saw his left hand reaching behind his head and scratching his scalp with a small laugh.

His eyes drop to a little package he was holding, wrapped in the same sort of cloth as the other gifts had been. He didn’t look at you as he spoke.

“Your mum gave me this, a couple of weeks before she passed. She asked me to hold on to it and give it to your on your 18th birthday.”

Your breath stopped in your lungs. He peered at you with a sad look and handed you the little box. A small video camera, like the ones used to record the Avatar program video logs was now resting peacefully in between your hands.

“I hope whatever’s on there will give you some peace of mind, kid. I know life’s not been kind to you, but it’s time… time to move on, you know?”

He got up from his spot on the bed and silently made his way out of the room. “See you tomorrow?”

With your back to him, you gave him a nod, and with that, he was gone, closing the door behind him.

You stood like that, in the same position, with the camera in your hand for a long enough time that your left leg was starting to ache, an ache that eventually overtook the one in your soul and with that, you took the camera and the bracelet you removed from Neteyam’s hands and shoved them both in the bottom drawer of your desk. “Pandora’s box.”, you thought to yourself, with a bitter chuckle.

You woke up with a groan, and the meanest headache known to man. Yesterday felt like you did in fact have the biggest party this world has ever seen, and the hangover to match. You scrambled out of bed, still in the dark, and searched on top of your desk for the little bottle of Ibuprofen you keep for days just like this. Today’s the day…

Norm enters your room quietly, and is surprised to see you up already. “So nervous you couldn’t sleep?” He says with a tentative smile.

“Something like that.”

“Hey…you’re happy about this, right? Tell me we haven’t done this for almost a decade for no reason, cause you know, we can’t just give someone else the Avatar.” he says, with an uncomfortable chuckle.

“I’m happy, Norm. It’s just a lot to take in, you know? A lot is going to have to change, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t tend to do well with change.” you response, laughing to yourself.

“Yeah, me and Max worried about that, but, Ace… you have weathered every storm life’s thrown at you like a champ and I think beyond this great unknown lays a future so bright it will be able to make this planet shift on its axis.”

You throw your head back and laugh loudly, “Wow, that’s a lot of trust right there. I’ll try not to disappoint.”

If only Norm knew… knew how you have not been able to brave any storm, and how the storms, in time, turned to tornadoes and then hurricanes and then bigger hurricanes and all you’ve done your whole life is just move further in to the middle of the shelter hoping that someday they’ll just go away by themselves and when they do, there’s still some walls, any walls, surrounding you.

You put some of Grace’s old workout clothes on and made your way to the Avatar room and properly looked at it, probably for the first time in your life. You used to love coming here as a kid, looking at the scientists in their link pods, at your mum in hers, sitting in Max’s lap and watching the brain activity, bombarding him with questions with answers you couldn’t’ possibly comprehend yet. You’ve moved away from that fascination in time. Now here you stood, about to get your own linkpod and your own brain activity analysed. You peered in the room next to it, where on a big flat metal table lay a blue body, and you couldn’t help yourself from moving closer until your breath was so close to the window in was fogging up the glass. You placed a hand on the cold glass and stared at the new you, and a small smile appeared on your face. It was beautiful, more so than you ever thought your human form to be. Your heart picked up pace in your chest and you were shocked at the realisation that the nerves that you thought only reflected fear and anxiety, also reflected excitement.

“It’s time.” Max said from somewhere behind you.

You turned and made your way with timid steps towards the linkpod. You climbed on it and the feeling of the green malleable foam woke up a memory inside you, that you fought to push back to where it came from. Now’s not the time. It was cold on your arms and thighs as you lay in it, but weirdly comfortable, like what you would imagine water mattresses you saw in old Hollywood movies to feel.

Max placed a metal frame of sorts on top on your own and spoke slowly. “Okay, you know the drill, Ace. You have to relax and let your mind go blank. You will be disoriented when you wake up, so take your time in there and don’t rush. Please don’t do a Jake.”

You chuckled at the story you’ve heard one too many times, but never seemed to get tired of it.

“We will have to run tests to make sure everything is in order. This is new territory for all of us, and we don’t know how the Avatar will behave yet, so we will take our time and do it right.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

You did as you were told and found it hard to relax and let your mind go blank when it was running a million miles an hour with so many emotions, so many thoughts and worries. Still, with all your might, you sat there, and cleared your mind for a split second. It was enough.

You woke up like from a dream, feeling groggy and tired. Your muscles hurt, a lot. You winced slightly at the gentle touch of a hand, which felt like that time you touched the inside of an electrical socket and got slightly electrocuted. You felt clothes clinging to your body and hated the way the synthetic fabric felt against your skin. You took your first breath and your nose crinkled in disgust at the overbearing smell of alcohol and chloride.

“Ace? C’mon kid, there you go, you can do it.”

You finally opened your eyes and groaned at the intense light on the ceiling. Your eyes took a while to focus, but when they did, you saw Norm staring back at you with a smile.

“Hi.” you said, with a deep frown and groggy voice. This was overwhelming.

“Hi back! Take it easy, alright? Me and Claire will runs some tests to make sure everything’s a-okay. It will take about an hour, I know this whole experience can be a bit strange in the beginning, so hopefully this will ease you into it.”

Norm was a man of his word, and after about an hour of wiggling every part of your body, touching your fingers to your nose, remembering names of objects and repeating it to them, among other things, you were ready to go. You realise to your surprise that you’re excited about going outside. You couldn’t stand the sensation overload that came with being in this lab, in this body. You stood up gently and removed the chords that were still attached to you. You turned around to look at the glass that was reflecting your new figure back at you, and found yourself at a loss for words for the millionth time in 24 hours. It was such a strange feeling, and you knew it would take you a while to get used to looking in the mirror and be met with this. You smiled and waved, knowing Max would be watching you from behind the glass, even though you couldn’t see it.

Norm handed you a bag, and you peered inside to find a beige loincloth and the top Neytiri gifted you yesterday. “Go change, I think you’ll feel better in these.”

You did as you were told. Removing the white hospital garb you had on, you looked at yourself fore the first time, properly looked. You were tall. Very tall. And skinny, very skinny. Lean was probably a better word for it, as you couldn’t see an ounce of fat anywhere on your body. You started poking your body in different spots and let out a small laugh at the feeling: it felt like touching soft metal. You were strong. The thought made you happy. You looked again in the mirror at your face. Big yellow eyes looked at you curiously. They traced your nose, and your plump lips and your white freckles, beautiful like the night sky. Your eyes settled on your hair, long and soft and dark and your arm reached behind you to bring your braid into focus. You lifted it and looked in awe at the queue and the way the tendrils were moving on their own accord. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins like water breaking apart mountains to make a canyon of your mind.

Neteyam’s words suddenly broke through. “You’re not going to make it.”

Adrenaline turned into rage and you hated it, hated the boy in that moment. Hated the effect his words had on you, even after so much time. You dressed slowly and tried to make sense of the “top” Neytiri gave you. Once you put it on, you looked back in the mirror and loved the way it looked on you. You also had a newfound appreciation for the soft feel of the feathers and the beads, and took note of the contrast between it and the unnatural feeling hospital gown you were in a few minutes ago. If it wasn’t for your eyebrows and your five fingers and your soft, straight hair, you wondered if anyone could be fooled into thinking you are, in fact, Na’vi.

“You know nothing about the real world.”

Dropping the clothes in the bag provided, you took one last look at yourself and saw something in your eyes that wasn’t there before. Determination. The sick, stubborn determination that has always made you push out all reason as soon as someone tells you you can’t do something.

“Tell Norm no.”

You left the room smiling. You will make him eat his words, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

You reached for the mask packs by the entrance and dropped your hand. You will never have to wear that damn mask again, you thought with satisfaction. As you stood outside, it felt again like emerging in your avatar body for the first time. So many sounds, colours, sensations flooded your being and you couldn’t even register the voice yelling your name until the person that spoke it took you by the shoulders. You hissed at the sudden contact and it shocked you. Where did that come from?

“Angel, you there?”

“Give her a second, Lo’ak. This is bound to overwhelm her and you yelling at her isn’t going to speed up the process.”

“I can’t believe she just hissed at me.”

The world slowly seemed to settle around you, and you focused you sight on the boy in front of you… the boy who was now your height.

“Lo’ak?”

“Hey, you.” The younger Sully boy gave you a big smile and eyed you intently up and down a few times. “Damn, you’re hot this way, too. This is unfair, you know? But also somehow makes me feel better that it turns out I’m not into a different species altogether, just one girl.”

You laughed, really laughed. Lo’ak was a charmer, another one of the many many traits he inherited from his dad.

“You’re shorter than I thought you’d be.”

“Ouch.” You knew he wasn’t really offended, so you blew a kiss towards him and shifted your attention to the world, that you realise you have never seen before. Not properly. Its beauty left you speechless. You don’t know how you were supposed to function when all you wanted to do is just walk around, smelling the flowers.

“We have to get going, you’re going to start your training today, and your new boss is not going to be happy if you’re late.”

“My new boss?”

“Yep. Neteyam has been given the tough job of taking your lab ass and turning it into a Na’vi warrior. I have to say, I don’t envy him, and I definitely don’t envy you.”

“Lo’ak, shut up.”

Well, this is going to be fun… You had a hunch Neteyam would have to train you, as Lo’ak is too young and restless and cares about the rules too little, or not at all, to do it, but hearing it as a fact made you shudder. You haven’t spent a whole day with Neteyam in years, and you didn’t particularly care for this new-and-improved version of himself. You wondered silently how this was going to go. If the last two interactions are anything to go by, you were not in for a happy time.

“Lo’ak should be here any second. I want you to start training her right away. Maybe start with the Pa’li first, and do bow training when that gets too much. You won’t really have to teach her the language, but try to make sure you talk in Na’vi more than in English, and this way you’ll see if there are any gaps in her knowledge and address them. Neteyam, are you listening?”

The oldest Sully sibling was only half paying attention to what his dad was telling him. In truth, he was scared half to death. He didn’t want to do any of this. This is not how any of this was supposed to go. He couldn’t be around you. He didn’t want to be around you and he most definitely didn’t want to have to teach you the ways of the Na’vi and have to put his own training and responsibilities aside for this. He has already had to teach Lo’ak whenever his parents had better things to do and he was getting so fucking tired of being used as soon as it was convenient for other people.

He pushed the bitter feelings aside. His parents relied on him for a reason, he tried to remember. They relied on him because they trusted him, and because he fought hard to be worthy of that trust. He had no right to complain, not when he knew how much worse it could be… for better or for worse, at least he had parents to rely on him. The thought made him sad, and he felt guilt at the words he spat at you yesterday. He knew they were for the greater good, but he also knew they crossed a line, a line that he might not be able to cross back from.

He didn’t have time to think about the consequences of his actions, as he heard a yell that pulled him out of his thoughts and he knew it was time to come face to face with his worst nightmare.

“We’re here!”, screamed Lo’ak, and Neteyam suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at his immature younger brother.

He made his way outside of the tent, picking up his knife and placing it on the sheath resting beneath his chest. He took a deep breath, one that got lodged in his throat.

Next to Lo’ak was a girl. The most beautiful girl he has ever laid his eyes on. Her stripes were somehow more accentuated than normal, and they reminded him of his own. It was something he was insecure about growing up, the deep contrast something his friends and even family teased him about relentlessly, but now, looking at it on her, he realised they were blind - he was blind - to have ever hated them. Her eyes were now yellow, a big departure from her human eyes, and although it was strange, just like the rest of her, they still felt familiar to him. Like no matter what body she inhabited, her soul would always shine through, always calling out to him like a moth to a flame. He knew then he’d always feel like this about her, for the rest of his life, no matter what she looked like. Fuck.

“Look at you, kid! You look like you belong already!”

Jake’s voice cut through the tension that you felt sitting here, being eyed at like you were a new cub at the zoo. The stares made you so uncomfortable you felt like you were going to explode, and could not wait until this was no longer a novelty to anyone, including yourself.

“Thank you, Jake. For everything. I cannot express how grateful I am that you and Neytiri, and the tribe, are so willing to accept me in the village.”

“No problem, kid. Anyway, we will have plenty of time to discuss everything tonight at dinner, but for now I think you and Neteyam should head off. There’s a lot to learn.”

“Right.” You turned around and gave a half-smile to Lo’ak, who looked at you like you were a deer in headlights. Maybe you did look how you felt.

You bid a small goodbye to everyone and suddenly found yourself face to face with the only person you didn’t want to see.

He started walking without saying a word, and you followed him. You refused to say anything to him, there was nothing to say to him after yesterday. Before yesterday, you might have demanded an explanation, you might have demanded he told you what happened to him in the year he abandoned you, what lead to him leaving without a single word, how dare he forget about what he meant to you and what you knew you meant to him, how could he just forsake you like you were nothing; you would have screamed at him and told him you hated him without meaning it and hoped he would just hug you and told you he’s sorry, that he was stupid and that he’ll never leave you again. None of that came out. You were past that. He crossed a line and you knew it in your mind that no explanation would be enough, no excuse would justify his behaviour enough to satisfy you and make you forget. Not anymore.

His back was to you as he was leading you away from the Sully tent, and for the first time in your life, you saw him for what he was. A leader, a warrior. He was lean and muscular, and his physique reminded you a lot more of Jake than a Na’vi man’s. His shoulders were broader and his arms were bigger, leading to a more accentuated contrast between them and his waist, and you hated yourself for how it made you feel, how your mouth filled with saliva you had to force yourself to swallow and how your pulse increased so rapidly it almost made you dizzy. He was taller than you, taller than Lo’ak and you knew that even in this body, he would still tower over you. You definitely hated how that made you feel.

He stopped at the entrance to a tent. He opened the flap of the entrance and motioned for you to enter. You obliged without a word. He followed you in and closed the flap behind him. You didn’t like being in such close proximity, but you knew you’d have to get used to it, so you let it go.

“This is now your tent. Mum and Dad thought you would feel more comfortable with your own space. They also thought you’d like my old training bow. There’s a pouch for your knife that you can put around your torso and I have the knife, but I won’t give it to you until I make sure you won’t kill me with it.”

As far as an attempt to diffuse an awkward situation goes, this wasn’t half bad. Still, not nearly good enough to matter. He sighed at the lack of response.

“Right. I think we have to get a few things straight.”

Your eyebrow raised, but you let him go on.

“I know you’re mad. I know you’re so mad you’re probably thinking of ways of sticking needles in my eyes. But I don’t care. I was given a responsibility to take care of you and to teach you. I know you think you know everything, but you don’t. I know you think you know this world, but you don’t. Not in the way you need to, to survive. There’s a reason no scientist living on Pandora has ever become one of the people. You can’t see. As my grandma always says, “you cannot fill a cup which is already full”. I know you. Your cup is overflowing. From now on, you do what I say. Pretend you don’t know me, pretend we’re not you and me.”

“I don’t know you, Neteyam.”

He winced inside at the words. “That’s enough!” He said, forcefully.

“You answer to me from now on and I want to make sure you understand that. Dad will skin me alive if anything happens to you. You will listen and you will do as I say. Whatever issues you have, you’re going to have to deal with them in your own time.”

Another blow below the belt, you thought, and reminded yourself that you were here for a reason, you were here to make him eat his words, and if he wanted to play his game this way, you were more than happy to beat him at it.

“Yes, Sir.”

You made your way out of the village and walked in silence through the woods. You were looking at the bow in your hand, and carefully traced every mark and scratch on its surface. You couldn’t help wonder about what events in Neteyam’s life lead to each and every one of them, and vowed to yourself that you would take care of this bow with your life, if not for anything else, for the still untarnished memory of that little boy you once loved so much. Once you reached a large clearing, with beautiful lush greenery and a majestic waterfall, you thought this was definitely a much better view for training than the reagent-filled benches of the lab. You saw about half a dozen Pa’li peacefully feeding off the sweet nectar of flowers in the distance, and smiled gently at the sight. You will never get used to it, you knew.

“First step to being a Na’vi, learning to form Tsaheylu and learning to ride the Pa’li.” Neteyam spoke in Na’vi over the soothing sounds of the forest.

“OK.” You answered shortly.

“In Na’vi. We speak Na’vi from now on.”

“Kurkung (asshole).” Neteyam shoots you a dirty look and you can’t help but smirk. “What? That’s Na’vi. Perfect pronunciation, by the way.”

His mouth tightened in a straight line and he left you, busying himself with a Pa’li he called over. He caressed it gently and held his hand next to his eye, whispering.

“Tam tam, Tirea, tam tam.”

“Get on.” He spoke to you still looking at the Pa’li.

Even in this body, the direhorse was significantly taller than you, and you shot Neteyam an incredulous look. Regardless, you made your way to the animal and with all of your might, willed yourself to get on top of it. It took a couple of tries, but you eventually succeeded. You were stronger than you realised, and you were excited to discover exactly how strong you could become in time.

Neteyam gently took the neural whip of the direhorse and guided it to you. You took it in your right hand and stared at it in amazement. You have heard so much about this, you have seen it firsthand with Neteyam’s Ikran, but to know you will now have to make your own Tsaheylu, experience this deep bond you knew everything and yet nothing about, it was terrifying. You left hand went behind your head and brought forward your own queue. This was it. Slowly, you brought the two together, and held tightly on to the Pa’li as the new sensation overwhelmed all of your senses. It felt like all of your neurons were firing at the same time. It felt like you were being electrocuted. As the feeling subsided, you felt a breath that was moving at the same time as your own, you felt a second heartbeat that was going much faster than yours possibly could, and you tried to calm yourself down as you knew the nervousness the animal felt was mirroring your own. Neteyam allowed you a second to experience this for yourself with no interruption, and you appreciated that. He trusted you enough to give you some space, and with everything, at least this hasn’t changed.

“This is Tsaheylu. The bond. Take some time to feel her, feel her heartbeat, her breath. Feel her strong legs. You can tell her what to do, inside your mind. Remember that as you can feel her, she can feel you, too. Your emotions impact her, your thoughts impact her, so you have to calm your mind.Easier said than done in your case, I fear.”

You felt your anger pick up and the Pa’li let out a scream and rose on its hind legs, throwing you straight in the dirt. Neteyam laughed, but came to help you get up. As you were removing mud from your face and hair and cursing all manners of profanities under you breath, you came to the bitter realisation this was going to be harder than you thought, especially with him as your teacher.

He still knew you too well. You slapped his hand away and got up by yourself, indignantly. You jumped back on the Pa’li and tried your very, very best, to calm yourself before making the bond. The horse didn’t react as violently as last time, so you figured you were off to a better start. You calmed your mind as much as you could, like you did in the linkpod, and imagined her slowly moving forward. You smiled when she did just that, no words needed. It was hard to be able to maintain your composure when you were LITERALLY mind controlling another living being, but despite it needing active continuous effort, you felt you were doing a good job. You managed to make her go, sprint, gallop and turn, and despite the direhorse’s best efforts, you were somehow still tightly attached to its back.

After a couple of hours, Neteyam told you to get off. He told you to follow him, and he took off, not sparing you a second glance. You followed him the best you could for a while, desperately trying to overlook how uncomfortable being barefoot made you feel. You didn’t like it at all, and more and more, you felt your heartbeat picking up in your chest and your knees shaking. You felt beads of sweat getting in your eyes and they stung, so you stopped. Your laboured breath became shallow, and your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you raised them to wipe your forehead. You felt your knees collapse under you, and you knew what was about to happen and that it was too late to stop it.

“Neteyam, wait up.” You called after the blue boy, slight panic in your voice.

“I thought we were supposed to be racing.”

“You win, alright? Don’t leave me alone in the woods.”

You saw Neteyam jogging back to where you stood with a guilty look on his face. “You know I’d never leave you alone.”

He picked you up and placed you on his back. “After 16 years, have I ever left you alone?”

“Well, you’ve been training a lot recently and I barely get to see you anymore, so I would say yes, you leave me alone plenty, more than I can say I care for.”

“Well, I want to be strong and capable so I can always protect you. I mean look at you, Tuk’s gonna be stronger than you soon.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” You pretended to ignore his first sentence and how it lit your entire body on fire.

You walked like this for a while. You placed your head on his shoulder and peered up at the tall trees. Prolimuris were swinging on them, picking up fruits as they went along. You saw two infants following their mother and stopping on the same branch as her, where she passed them what you were sure was a tasty afternoon snack. You smiled contently at the scene, and at the feeling of warmth Neteyam provided.

“Put me down, I want to walk! I came with you to exercise, not be carried like a tiny Pandoran baby.”

He did as you asked, huffing at your forever mercurial temper.

With your back still to him, you let out a laugh and started running. “Race you to the clearing in the distance?”

He rolled his eyes, and with a laugh, stopped himself. He always gave you a head start. “Fine, but you can’t get mad when I beat you again!”

You turned around to give him a smile as you were running and loved the feeling of the ground beneath your feet. The only place you could run around barefoot, the only time you still felt alive.

You came to an abrupt halt when your foot touched something strange, something unnatural. You slowly looked at your feet and froze in place as the smooth pale object made your blood run cold. It couldn’t be. You stepped away from it, not leaving it from your view and slowly, deliberately knelt down next to it. You heard Neteyam coming to a halt behind you, but couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge his presence. Your hands started digging in the ground with morbid curiosity and the sounds around you became muffled as your erratic heartbeat was the only thing you could still hear. You removed the ground around it and tears formed in your eyes at the realisation that this was indeed what you feared it was: a human skull. A human skull you just stepped on. Before you knew it, your hands were reaching for a glimmer of silver shining in the shallow grave. You lifted it to your eye line and heard yourself scream, wail louder than you ever had before. The panic that overtook you was primal, but not unfamiliar and you threw the dog tag on the ground, with enough force you hoped would bury it further than anybody would ever be able to dig. You couldn’t see properly anymore, the tears and dizziness flooding your senses and you prayed you passed out, prayed to make this stop, prayed you were back in your room where your Xanax always lay by your bedside table. In a blind rage, you were clawing at your feet, trying to remove the dirt, remove the skin that stepped on your dad’s dead body like it was a gum wrapper on the pavement. Soon enough, you could taste the metal taste of blood that was lingering in the air and by the grace of whatever spirit was out there still looking after you, you felt yourself collapse in Neteyam’s arms.

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