#will people judge me for mixing my autisms together. is that a thing people do here. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thundersyst3m · 1 year

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⚡ WELCOME TO MY DUMBASSERY! ⚡

I'm Mallow (also known as the host, Nimbus!)

We are a diagnosed DID system of over 80+ members!

This blog is for reblogs, shitpost, dumb thoughts, aesthetics, doodle dump and questions!

Wanna know what I like + other social media? Check here!

Wanna know more about the system and our proxies/sign-offs? Check here!

My art page is @cinnamallow

My qsmp page is @qthundercubitos

My littles page is @thundersystemlittles

My hornyposting page is @thunderhornyposting (+18 ONLY)

My writing blog is @thund3rwords

My paranoia blog is @magicalgirlbreakroom

Chilchuck dedicated blog @chilchucklover2003 (+18 ONLY)

North's winter posting blog together with an alter from another system is @frozenheartache

Alter blogs:

North - @winterangelthoughts

Gabe - @blood-soaked-peppermint

TAGS

#thunder diary - daily notes about our day :)

#therapy stories - funny or impactful things from therapy

To see posts from certain alters, just put [alter name].pdf

ALTERS

These are the alters that mostly use this tumblr:

Nimbus ✨ - Body age - All pronouns/zap/cloud

Nimbuschu ⚡ - Body age - He/She/They/Zap

Blade 🍒 - 24 - He/They/Hound

Alice 🌸 - 28 - She/They/Flower

Cupid 🌺 - Ageless (adult) - She/They/Love

Hastur 🍚 - 3000+ (adult) - Any Pronouns

Moss 📗 - 20's - He/Him

North ❄️🩸 - 20's - He/it/snow/ice

Fawn 🦌🩸 - 20's - He/They/Deer

Sabrina 🐰🩸 - 19 - She/They/It/Bun

Heartache 🩸 - 20's - He/They/It/Blood

Ignis 🧨🩸 - 30's - He/It/Fire

Astro ☄️ - 17 - She/They

Aurora 🕯️ - Ageless (adult) - She/They/Star

MK 🍜 - 18 - He/Him/Chaos

Sol ☀️ - 1000+ (Mentally on his 30's) - He/Sun

Norton 🧲 - 35 - He/They/She

Pinkie Pie 🍰 - idk age (adult) - She/They/Cake

Fluttershy 🍂 - idk age (adult) - She/Her/Flutter

Purple 😈 - 16 - He/It

Grace 🐟 - 25 - She/They/Pearl

Cellbit 📷 - 30's - He/him

More might be added

SOME INFO ABOUT US!

We are Brazilian! So sometimes portuguese posts might happen!

We are having a race crisis, we don't know if we white or mixed/pardo, hard at the moment

We are socially anxious and overall introverts that hate DMs

BYF

Please use tone tags, we are autistic and this helps a lot!

We can answer some system questions, but not all, we not a professional!

This acc is sfw! But I am keeping it 18+ for my own comfort (plus i do touch on some mature subjects sometimes)

I am pro-kink (no I don't defend abusers, fuck off), don't care for contradicting LGBT labels and am overall a sarcastic person when it comes to venting about people who hurt me, if that bothers you, don't follow me

Don't send vent or hate asks, we will ignore you.

I try my best to use trigger warnings constantly, please tell me if i don't

If i follow anyone who did anything illegal, please DM me about it

I won't judge you based on the fandom you are as long as you consume content in a critical way (aka recognise the problematic aspects of the media you consume)

We are very mentally ill (DID, C-PTSD, anxiety, autism, etc etc...)

I block freely, especially content i find repetitive/boring/not interesting for me personally so, if i have you blocked, don't take it personally

My stance on endos: Neutral, as long as you're polite and nice, idc, dont bring syscourse in my inbox and we good

We interact with both anti-endo and pro-endo, we will only DNI If you have "endo neutral" on your DNI

You are free to reblog the silly stuff If you're a minor but i prefer If you don't directly interact with me, i prefer to form friendships with people my age!

I hate racists, homophobes, ableists and all that jazz i hate y'all and will block y'all

If you came from szoller/ih8szllr/murysy blacklist/posts feel free to ask questions about It on DMs, this person abused me for a long time and i'm tired of referring to them publicly

USERBOXES

Project Know-It-All tracking

Enjoy your stay! <3

#introductory post #introduction #alter intro

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hmm-dont-know-really · 9 months

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This blog is 18+, minors please block & dni

Rules:

No minors, no exceptions.

This is a nsfw blog and I'm bad at tagging, if you need your dash to be totally sfw or have triggers that need to be tagged absolutely every time, just don't follow. Interacting is still fine.

I block people based on their behavior, not their identifiers.

Asks and dms are open. Dms slightly preferred because I usually have clairifying questions. Its fine to just message me, I don't care if we've been interacting or not.

Info:

It's complicaited but I'm a cis bi woman for statistical purposes.

I'm almost 30, not looking for anything more than being friends if you're a lot younger than me.

I've got quite a bit of experience with kink & femdom (F/m), and I'm always happy to answer educational questions about those things, but I'm really here to talk to other queer people, not cis men.

I don't hate men tho, and this is not a "men dni" blog, if that bothers you feel free to block me.

Related to that, to me the point of femdom is systematic gender fuckery and destruction of the binary - in the context of my cis "het" relationships at least, might be down for selectively reinforcing the binary in gender affirming ways. If the kink we're doing doesn't ritually eviscerate at least one oppressive social structure, I don't want it.

If you want me to be talking about you when I talk about boys, then yes I'm talking about you; "boy" is a vibe to me, its not about gender or parts.

I'm autistic and I don't understand what a lot of wlw words mean, not enough to really use them. Anyone who wants to help me understand is welcome to my dms and a reward of their choice, everyone else can shut up and think about the pervasive ableism in the queer community before judging.

Generally when it comes to sex I'm into sub guys, sad wet pathetic little men, pretty boys (all boys are pretty), masc nonbinary and genderfucky people, and sometimes women if there's a power dynamic (usually a slightly toxic one), if they could defeat me, or if we're performing intricate rituals. Also I fall for other autistic girls hard and easily in a QPR way.

Look, I am a dom/top type person, but I am also shy as fuck, and I don't like persuing people when its not super clear they're into it. If you want me to give you horny attention, you gotta give some kind of consent. Posts addressed to the void or doms in general don't count.

I don't think I'm all that edgy in the grand scheme of things, but I've been around long enough to know that the distinction between "gentle" and "hard" kinks is purity culture crap. If you're still on that shit you're not gonna have a good time here.

A few things I can promise won't be here: excessive gore, (what I consider to be) body horror, needles, death, race play, disability fetishism, scat and vomit, and most "family" stuff (I allow the occasional title if its not the main focus of the post).

Things that probably will be here: femdom, queer and "straight" seeming stuff mixed together, fat positivity, hornyposting, some serious/political stuff, discussions about kink, horny fanfic, pretty kink toys and gear, autism posting, memes, etc.

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natsfirecat · 3 years

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Unconditionally

summary: r tells nat about being autistic

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x autistic!reader

word count: 0.8k

warnings: mentions of injurious stims, lmk if i need to add any more!

A/N: wow. let me just say that i am TERRIFIED about posting this. i got diagnosed last year, and it’s taken some time, but recently i have started to accept/embrace this part of me. so, i figured i should do that here too. i’ve had this in my drafts for awhile, but i think it’s time to finally post. i’ve noticed how my ace fics have impacted a lot of people, and that’s made me really happy to see others who identify the same way i do get to have fics where it’s acknowledged with natasha. so, i hope this one can do the same for my fellow autistics out there!

disclaimer: i know that everyone experiences autism differently, and i wrote it based on my own experiences. also, i may have mixed up a few terms and i apologize if i did!

You had to do it sooner than later. You weren't sure why you were this nervous, you knew Natasha would love you no matter what and this wouldn't change that.

But at the same time, you didn't want your girlfriend to view you any differently. You were the same person you had always been, all this means is that there's an explanation for some things about yourself.

You loved being with her. She would start your morning off by waking you up with a shower of kisses. She would stay with you until she had to train or go to a meeting, but when she returned she would welcome you into her arms. She would always hold you close, telling you how much she loved you.

And of course, you loved her just as much. So now it was time to tell her about yourself.

You were currently laying next to her on the bed, just relaxing in one another's presence with the occasional kiss.

"Natasha," you said, feeling your stomach turn. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course you can; is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, but... what all do you know about autism?"

She turned her head to the side. She noticed how you bit your lip, trying to hide your anxiety.

"I know that it's a separate neurotype with a broad spectrum. Why do you ask, detka?"

Not only were you biting your lip, but you also started squeezing your hands together.

"What would you say if I told you that I had autism?"

She wasn't sure how to react or what to say. But seeing how visibly nervous you were, she grabbed your waist and pulled you close, wrapping her arms around you.

"I would say that I love you just the way you are, and the way your brain works will never change that. My love for you is unconditional. But I'd also like to know what I can do to support you and make sure you're comfortable,"

Her words nearly brought tears to your eyes.

You hugged her tight, burying your head in her neck.

"I love you,"

She smiled, kissing the top of your head.

"I love you too. And I want to do everything I can to support you."

You kept your arms around her, not wanting to let go.

"So is there anything I can do, love?"

You thought for a moment.

"Just be there with me. And understand that some things will always be different for me, and that's okay,"

"Always,"

"And um, I know you wouldn't, but don't judge or try to stop me when I'm stimming,"

"Okay," she replied. "I wouldn't, but I do need to ask you to elaborate on stimming,"

"It's a repeated movement or noise; for a lot of autistic people, they're injurious. Luckily that's not the case for me, it's more subtle. Like you know how I fidget with my ring a lot? And sometimes move my fingers against my forearm, recreating words or shapes. That's how I stim!"

"Alright," she nodded, taking in everything you were saying.

"Also, I get hyperfixations and special interests. You know how I was really into those books a few years ago?"

"I do remember. You talked about them a lot and I loved it because I could tell how happy they made you,"

You blushed at her words, squeezing her hands.

"Well, if talking about them ever does become too much, let me know and I'll try to turn it down a notch. But also know that a lot of the times, infodumping about hyperfixations and special interests is how I show my love sometimes,"

"You don't have to worry about talking about them too much with me, I will always listen. If you're happy then I'm happy,"

You leaned in, kissing her again.

"You're the best girlfriend I could ever ask for,"

"I could say the same,"

Your heart melted at how understanding she was. You felt incredibly lucky to be with her.

You maneuvered yourself so you were now sitting on her lap, resting your forehead against hers.

"And uh, also just understand that interpreting tone is hard for me, especially through text. I don't always get sarcasm, and it can be hard to read body language a lot of the time."

"Okay,"

Your forehead was still against hers, but she reached her hands up to cup your cheeks.

She held you close, wanting to show you just how much love she had for you.

You definitely felt it, hugging her just as tight.

"Thank you for telling me, detka,"

"Thank you for being so understanding and great about it. I love you."

As you lay in her arms that night, all you could think about was how grateful you were that you had Natasha in your life. She loved you for who you were, and that would never change. She was the love of your life, and the best person you could ever be with.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x yn #natasha romanoff x you #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x autistic reader #natasha romanoff x autistic!reader #natasha romanoff imagines #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x you #black widow x yn #black widow fluff #natalia alianovna romanova

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Elderly Black man with autism and anxiety

@xcherry-popx asked:

I have a Black man in my story. Some main features of him include 1) being an older (60+?) man and 2) being rather nervous (and likely having anxiety). I've also considered him having autism, but I wanted to handle the anxious aspect first since it will be more prominent.

when creating him, I started out with the idea of an anxious older man and then decided on race. I'm still working on how his anxiety tends to manifest, but my current thoughts include some anger (not violence) and self-soothing in ways like running his hands through his hair. [autism + anxiety is ownvoices]

my main concerns are that:

A) having his anxiety manifest in anger could be seen as an Angry Black Man, even if he doesn’t hurt anyone (this is in a story where there are some incidents where someone is attacked by someone else, so its not as if his anger is being toned down for the audience)

B) his anxiety-autism could be seen as infantilizing him (its not immediately obvious, and he is seen as a father figure by many of the other characters. he will probably mostly grow stronger on his own rather than relying on the rest of the cast [if he does use their help, its more indirect, such as someone’s courage inspiring him or another nervous character working through their problems together])

I haven't heard a whole lot about 'weak’ (used very loosely here) Black man stereotypes, but i wanted to double-check since i know i dont have a whole lot of experience

Do you think he may come across as an 'infantilized Black man’ stereotype, or to a lesser extent, an 'Angry Black Man’ stereotype?

[ask trimmed due to length]

The possibility that he’s undiagnosed

Depending on the context of the story, it wouldn’t surprise me if his autism and anxiety went undiagnosed (mental health can be a taboo among some Black communities). So one of the questions is : does he know or not ?

Dealing with emotions / how he handles things

Also it’s hard to deal with really strong feelings, sometimes irrational when you don’t know why you react like that. Being undiagnosed could explain his anger. But judging by his age, he could have learned to live with it ? We don’t know his personality and his life so it’s hard to tell.

Also, I don’t see anything wrong with not being strong or just having weaknesses. It’s human. You just have to take your character’s past into consideration when writing about it, but the rule for the story is that he must evolve. It doesn't mean he should finish entirely strong, without any weaknesses. It’s all about change and being a better person (or not, it depends on your themes and the message you want to convey).

He hates being helped ? He learns to accept it and ask for help when needed. This is evolving. He could also find a relieving practice to sooth his anger, or that helps him control his emotions. This is evolving too. Or it could get worse, he could totally close up to the others because of the frustration of not being understood, of feeling weak for needing help. That’s life. He’s old and sometimes, people just stop trying. But again, I don’t know what your story is about so I can’t tell you if you should go towards a positive or negative character’s arc. Just remember : it’s all about his evolution.

Anyway, there’s only one thing that will probably prevent you from falling into stereotypes : make him as human as you can, with all his qualities and flaws.

- Mod Lydie

First of all, I second everything Lydie said, especially that first paragraph.

Undiagnosed (potentially) & coping

Being able to write part of this character from experience will be helpful, but you noticed correctly, being a Black man on top of that does have an impact. Like Lydie mentioned, he could easily have gone undiagnosed. There is a taboo in some Black communities, but keep in mind misdiagnoses and lack of professional support can happen as well. Though there are great psychologists out there, there are also those who will be influenced by racial prejudices, who simply won’t take people seriously, and Autism is still poorly understood outside of stereotypes a lot as well.

Going undiagnosed or even just a late diagnosis really impacts a lot of one’s experiences growing up and how you see yourself. It could be another deeply influential part of his identity that mixes things up again so do keep in mind if this is the case for him. Especially when he’s reached 60+, comorbid is very common aside from the anxiety (depression and C-PTSD come to mind). Not that you need to put those in there, especially because it really depends on his background and direct support group, but something to keep in mind as you further flesh your character out.

At such an advanced age one will probably have learned to mask a lot (though a turn to masking less can be seen in older people, especially men, as well). They might have grown used to being different, including feeling misunderstood, frustrated, could become withdrawn or a people pleaser as a coping mechanism, but all of this is all highly dependent on their character as well as their experiences.

Dealing with his anger & stereotypes

Thinking outside of the box of how anger can manifest could help as well. Sometimes people express their anger in less obvious ways, or the anger could be hidden under a secondary emotion. His anxiety and Autism will probably be affected by each other as well. Like sensory overload coming hand in hand with anxiety attacks of one leading to the other.

Your concern for having him turn into or interpreted as an angry Black man stereotype is something to look out for. Make sure you fully develop his character, show him to be multifaceted, and give him agency.

I personally don’t see how he’d be seen as infantilized as you described him in your concern B paragraph. It sounds to me like he’s doing to opposite, trying to be hyper self-reliant, but yeah, depending on how you let his anxiety and autism manifest, it could be an issue. It’s hard to really say a lot more than this without more specifics.

Characterization

To me, this character comes across as one who could have a lot of depth and complexity to him. He would be flawed, he would be interesting, could easily be made relatable as well. But as you guessed, it will take work, care and research to pull him off without falling into potential pitfalls. Having weaknesses and having your character grow is a good thing (and mentioning for anyone who needs to hear it: Autism and Anxiety are in itself not character flaws or weaknesses, but they can lead to someone manifesting them). This is not only due to the stereotypes, but also because there’s not that much rep out there and you will be battling against ingrained biases and stigma as well.

That said, this is the type of character I always look forward to reading.

- Alice

#Black #black men #autism #anxiety #mental illness #characterization #character design #angry Black man #asks

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lord-of-fidgets · 3 years

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Ratchet x Autistic Reader ( Transformers Prime )

🚑 The first time you met the autobots it was all a bit much to take in; even more so when Optimus had assigned you with Ratchet. Or, Ratchet with you - however you wanted to look at it. It made sense - the others were already paired off and no doubt Optimus realized you'd feel safer with the medic, despite his apparently grumpy demaner.

🚑 It did take a while to pick up on it but you definitely found that he was basically a teddy bear - grumpy on the outside but deeply caring on the inside.

🚑 Since he didn't really leave the base - Omega One - he had a pretty set routine. You settled into it easily as well. Still in school or in college? You can study next to him in content silence as you both plod along with your tasks. Simply interested in what he is doing? He wouldn't mind you watching - and he doesn't mind the questions, despite the way he talks which would make it seem he'd rather not be bothered with inquires. In fact, he's more than willing to give explanations about anything you're interested in. His day to day routine is fairly concrete; something you both enjoy and prefer .

🚑 Special Interests - he wouldn't mind listening. Believe it or not, he makes a good sounding board. Of course sometimes he's busy or something unexpected happens that means he has to interrupt- but later as you're both in his habsuite getting ready to sleep, he's more than willing to let you continue if you want. He's genuinely interested because he does care about you - even if it's not always obvious.

🚑 Once he discovers you're autistic, Ratchet is invested in learning what he can ( when he has the time he prioritizes it ) and often asks you about your own experiences. When he hears about organizations like Autism $peaks, he's appalled and utters more than a few irritated words under his breath. Don't be suprised if he sits you down and wants to know if you want to make a plan in case of Meltdowns/shutdowns, overwhelm, etc. It's extremely important to him to be able to aid you when you need it.

🚑 Because he does care - even if he likes to pretend he's too grumpy to care - Primus help when you DO get overstimulated. If it's because of anyone else in the base - they'd maybe get one warning, which was probably snapped out as an order at everyone else to be quiet while he hurries to get you to a place that you can calm down in.

🚑 You have a stim kit at the base, including a weighted blanket, in his habsuite. Because if you need to get away, and a drive wasn't an option or good idea, you definitely wouldn't be disturbed in there. He'd make sure of it. Ratchet would keep any questions to simple "yes" or "no" ones, just long enough to know exactly what you needed.

🚑 If you use a device or prefer to use a device to communicate, no problem. He's already made sure he can interact with the device and made it so you could talk to him at any point using it. It doesn't matter if you're non-verbl, Semi-verbal, or just can't speak due to no spoons - he would never judge and would look to take the best of care of you. If you take medication, he'd always remind you to take it when and how you needed. which - don't be suprised if he hovers. He doesn't mean to - he just cares and so worries ( sometimes obsessively ). Thank you for humoring him.

🚑 A rare treat would be quiet drives together - wrapped up in a weighted blanket with a comfort object or stim toy as you are perched in the passenger seat, you love evening drives when the twilight is dimming and the bright desert sun is no longer overwhelming sensory wise. His voice is nice to listen to; he could ramble on about any topic he knew and was passionate about... But there would also be rides of just comfortable silence. Sometimes you'd end up falling asleep and he's pleased you're getting rest.

🚑 He's aware of how difficult it can be to sleep... So he'd be extra careful to not wake you. His habsuite isn't far from the sick bay - so the soft whirls of the machinery and his spark combine into a soothing mix of white noise. You're small and often he'll gently place you on his chest as he powers down; for the love of the All Spark don't try to disappear without waking him- he'd panic. Then get upset from the fear ( being a war vet and a medic can carry a heavy toll on a bot; I suspect he has PTSD himself. ); Not at you ( though it can seem like it in the heat of the moment ) but at the thought that something could of happened and if he wasn't there wheb you needed help what could have happened.

🚑 Stims don't bother him; he'd rather you stim and be yourself around him than feel like you have to hide it. you're free to - and encouraged to - drop your mask around him. If someone dares try to be ableistic toward you - Primus help their soul/spark. Let's admit it - Ratchet genuinely upset and angry is kinda unnerving. But he's careful to keep it in check around you. Last thing he wants is to make you upset in turn or to cause you discomfort of any sort.

🚑 He'd fight through hell and back for you. That's just the kind of bot he is.

🚑 You both end up becoming very close and work together often. It soon seems as if you've both been always working together. On days you're not there, he'll catch himself turning to address you only to feel a tinge of disappointment when he remembers you're not there then. Not that he'd admit it, willingly.

🚑 If you have a learning disability/intellectual disability, he's here to support you. You don't have to worry about proving your worth to him at all; you exist and are worth more than he can measure. Though, again, not that he'd willingly admit that part and tries to hide the pleasure he finds in your company in case it shows too much. After all he has that "grumpy-persona" to maintain. Can't drive? He's got you covered. Can't work a "normal" job or at all? Human societies are flawed and he disagrees with the abelstic nature of a lot of the ideals in society- you're valuable because you're you, you're alive. And you're his partner, his assistant, and he's your guardian. ( A position he takes seriously).

🚑 Once he realizes he's become your "safe place/person", he's suprised, humbled and pleased all at once. We all know he still grieves the fact he couldn't fully restore Bumblebee's voice during the war; Ratchet has a deep sense of duty, but he also has a harsh inner critic. To think you trust him enough even in your most vulnerable state is overwhelming to him but also makes the medic all the more determined to be there for you.

( maybe Ill make a part two for this one too. I'd like feedback if you've got any. Allistics don't derail. I'm willing to write more of these if people are interested. I don't think they're all that good but they do come from my heart. I'm also autistic, etc, and as I've said I can't speak for all autistics just me. So there may be things you can't relate to. That's ok and I hope you still enjoyed.)

Thank you for reading.

#autism #actuallyautistic #actually neurodivergent #autistic #autistic writer #autistic reader #transformers prime #transformers prime ratchet #ratchet

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intr00verted · 4 years

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Let me preface this by saying that I don't officially have autism. I was tested and I ticked all the boxes. However, it doesn't harm my functioning in daily life, so they didn't want to give me a diagnosis until it actually harms my social and daily life. I was diagnosed with alexithymia though.

Having said that, I do identify as an autistic person because treating myself like I have a diagnosis helps me function better in daily life and it gives me the selfcare and selfrespect I need.

Anyway, onto the story.

When I was young, I often felt like I took up too much space. I still do. Whenever I said something out of place, I felt like the whole room watched and judged me. I felt clumsy and stupid.

Over the years, I learned to behave more "elegantly" and know when to say certain things or do things. I still feel like I am taking too much space. I don't feel comfortable in silent rooms with many people (unless it's people I'm comfortable with) and always need some form of sound nearby, whether it's music, loud rain, or kitchen noises.

When someone in the room does something that seems out of place or clumsy, I feel both relief and sadness. Relief because it wasn't me anymore, sadness because I know exactly how it feels.

I have learned when to joke, and to read body language. Microexpressions were of great interest to me a few years back. I know that people instantly like me, so I never have to worry about that.

Still, I keep on feeling like I take up too much space. I quit talking about my interests, and when I do, I keep it short. I will be afraid I'm talking too much about myself and keep asking about the other person instead.

I'm open, and I often tell people about my conditions when asked or when needed. I'm also an emotional person, but will keep my face neutral when talking to someone I am not at a higher comfort level with. This happens especially with sensitive issues, which makes it harder for people to read me and has caused troubles in the past (medical issues not being taken seriously, psychologist unable to read me to properly diagnose me)

I can't identify my own feelings, but I can sense those of others. It's made me incredibly empathetic, but it's also caused me to break down more often than once.

During those moments, I feel so little and so much at the same time. I often describe it as mixing all paint colors together to form a brownish substance. It feels as if I'm faking it, even though I know I'm not. It makes me (attempt to) destroy myself mentally. It hurts my surroundings.

I can't say no, and I have no respect for myself. I need to lose weight, so I'll attempt to restrict as much as I can because I know I won't make it and then cuss myself out because I didn't make it. I will wear myself out trying to help others and break down again at home. I don't ask for help often because it feels like I'm just bothering people.

Public settings are exhausting as I subconsciously tune in to all kinds of conversations. I will absorb those emotions and let them drain me. People sitting besides me on public transport are anxiety inducing, but I can't stand due to my chronic IBS.

I apologize for things I have no control over and sincerly mean it. I apologize for everything because I feel like everything is somehow my fault.

I take up so little space, and still I feel like I take too much.

If you feel the same, please know that this is not normal. This can be autism, but it can be something else too. Please, please visit a therapist and get a diagnosis. I know you are not your diagnosis, but having one helps to give a name to your problems. It helps to put it into perspective and to work on it.

I'm starting therapy again soon, and last time it already helped me a lot. I hope this time it will too.

#Autism #Mental illness #mental health #Alexithymia #Witchblr #Studyblr #Health #Support

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aqueerassbookshelf · 5 years

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Human Enough, by E.S. Yu

Publishing date: 7th Oct. 2019 Disclaimer: I recieved this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

When Noah Lau joined the Vampire Hunters Association, seeking justice for his parents’ deaths, he didn’t anticipate ending up imprisoned in the house of the vampire he was supposed to kill—and he definitely didn’t anticipate falling for that vampire’s lover.

Six months later, Noah’s life has gotten significantly more complicated. On top of being autistic in a world that doesn’t try to understand him, he still hunts vampires for a living…while dating a vampire himself. Awkward. Yet Jordan Cross is sweet and kind, and after braving their inner demons and Jordan’s vicious partner together, Noah wouldn’t trade him for the world.

But when one of Jordan’s vampire friends goes missing and Noah’s new boss at the VHA becomes suspicious about some of his recent cases, what starts off as a routine paperwork check soon leads Noah to a sinister conspiracy. As he investigates, he and Jordan get sucked into a deadly web of intrigue that will test the limits of their relationship—and possibly break them. After all, in a world where vampires feed on humans and humans fear vampires, can a vampire and a vampire hunter truly find a happy ending together?

Tags: LGBT, romance, paranormal, Ace, Pansexual, Autism, Crime, Alt Universe, law enforcement, vampires, friends to lovers, interracial. Content warning: Ableism, graphic violence, allusions to past emotional abuse, abduction, hate groups.

I really liked this book. I can say that about loads of books, sure, but Human Enough managed something only a few couple have managed before - it dragged my head-first out of my reading slump, and was finished in just over 24 hours. I spoke with a friend just the other day on how so much of queer literature is just about coming out and nothing more - “Where are our fantasy novels? Where are our paranormal romances?” Well, it’s here, and it’s bloody brilliant.

Yu manages to do just the right amount of world building to pull us in as readers, whilst not going all exposure all the time. I as a reader believe in the world I’m getting - the secrets of vampires uncovered with time, the research to find a solution, the hate groups and the support groups both. There are several things we only get glimpses of, whenever Noah tags along with Jordan, but they are still only glimpses, and they make me want to learn more about the world.

Seeing a main character be so unapologetic about his neurodiversity (whilst also, at times, giving a big mental middle finger to the norm for autistic representation in media) was truly marvellous to read. The paragraphs on overstimulation, on auditory processing, on masking, on executive dysfunction… As a person who has for quite some time now been believed to be somewhere on the neurodiverse spectrum, these paragraphs felt incredibly validating to read. And whilst this is not entirely my topic to judge, and so I might’ve missed certain things, I would 100% recommend the book for this representation alone.

On that note, I also adore all the focus on communities - whether it’s a support group where certain vampires can talk through their thoughts and feelings, or online forums and message boards. So often in media we get presented with a minority character who the text completely isolates, because the writer - for whatever reason - can’t be bothered to give them any form of community or others to relate to, leaving both the character and the represented reader feel… not very good. Human Enough manages a good mix, both between people of different marginalized identities helping each other out in solidarity, and characters finding support amongst their own that I recognize from my own life and friends. Helping where you can when you can, and then when you cannot, helping to find someone who can.

I like the overall pacing of the story. The time jumps had me confused for a hot second, as the text explicitly tells us when it jumps back but not forwards, though after figuring out the (eventually) rather obvious pattern of “every other chapter”, it all went swimmingly. I might’ve felt that the plot was maybe a little predictable at times, having called certain plot twists several chapters ahead of time, but less to the point where it spoilt the story, and more like I’m “Poirot, detective genius”, solving the mystery alongside the characters. The overall storyline felt… I wouldn’t say lacking, but rather… almost too short? Despite the 6 month-divide, both plots only last a couple of weeks, making the story feel more of perhaps a slice-of-life than I was prepared for.

I’d like to personally thank Yu for including one of my favourite tropes, friends to lovers, but also for the clearly loving way in which various marginalized identities are included and discussed within the text. The characters strike a good balance between talking about their various identities in a way that feels real, and lived, and honest, and just being downright salty over the lack of respect the majority often has for minorities. Which, oof, big mood.

A quick and easy read, yet captivating and warm. All in all, book gets a strong 4.5/5 stars - at the very least.

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millie1536 · 4 years

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A Second Chance

(Edmonton Ladies in Waiting)

Joan could barely contain her excitement as she entered the room. It felt like only yesterday that she had been in a place just like this one. She remembered the mix of fear and excitement that would fill the room each time a potential family came to visit. She remembered the way she and the other kids would pretend to go about their daily activities as if nothing was different as they watched to see who would be adopted.

In fact the room she found herself in was very similar to the room she remembered. It was large and filled with all sorts of toys and games. Oversized cushions and soft blankets surrounded a bookshelf in one corner and a television sat in the other. A large sliding door opened up on to a grass covered backyard. Children ran from one activity to another, talking and laughing as they played. They seemed happy.

Or at least most of them did.

As Joan looked around the room her eyes landed on a young girl sitting in the darkest corner of the room, seemingly trying to hide from everything and everyone. She watched the girl, rocking back and forth, for a few moments before making her way towards her.

“Hi, I’m Joan.” Joan gave the girl a warm smile. “What’s your name?”

“Elizabeth Blount.” The girl answered, looking at Joan with a blank expression.

Blount

Joan was sure she’d heard that name before.

“Are you here to adopt someone?” Joan’s thoughts were interrupted by the young girl.

“Yes, actually.” Joan smiled again at the girl.

“Well,” Elizabeth said, eyes scanning the room before she pointed to girl of about 12, “That’s Sophie, she’s really smart and wants to be a neuroscientist when she grows up.” Elizabeth paused before pointing at another child, “And that’s Kieran, he wants to be a video game designer. Over there, that’s Cara she’s a really good artist and she really likes dragons and draws them a lot. That one over there is Ruby, she want’s to be a vet when she’s older. She used to live on a farm before she came here and she said that the first thing she’s going to do when she gets out of here is get her horse back. James want’s to be a cricketer, sometimes when it’s raining and we’re not allowed outside he throws his cricket ball at me. He says it’s because I’m not active enough and he’s trying to help me. Oh, and that’s-“

“What about you?” Joan asked suddenly.

“What about me?” Elizabeth asked, rocking forward with more force than before and smiling when her back hit the wall as she rocked backwards.

“Well, you’ve been telling me about everyone else, what about you?” Joan rephrased the question. Elizabeth thought for a moment before answering.

“I’m going to age out the system and then…” Elizabeth shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Why are you going to age out the system? Do you not want to be adopted?”

“No one wants a retard. People send their kids here because they’re like me. No one’s going to choose to have a spastic kid.” Elizabeth told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. In that moment Joan wanted nothing more than to scoop the girl into her arms and shield her from the world.

“Elizabeth Blount?” Maude, the woman who ran the home, asked hesitantly, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Joan said firmly.

“It’s just that Elizabeth has a few… uh… special needs.” Maude said, as if speaking in code.

“That doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have a chance at a family.” Joan responded. She had made up her mind and there was nothing that would change that, “I’m sure it would be helpful for both Elizabeth and I if you expanded on her ‘special needs’ but if you don’t wish to disclose any of the information you alluded to then we’ll just have to work it out along the way.” Maude sat there, clearly taken aback but Joan’s abruptness.

“Elizabeth was diagnosed with Autism at age four, last year she was diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. She also suffers from nightmares and possible PTSD; however she’s never opened up enough for anyone to properly diagnose her.” Joan couldn’t help but feel as though she were at a funeral. The way Maude spoke about the young girl made it sound more like a eulogy than anything else. “She’s a handful.” Maude added.

“Well it’s a good thing I have two hands.”

It was decided that the transition would be easier for Elizabeth, or Bessie as she preferred to be called, if she got to know Joan a bit better before the adoption was finalised and so over the next few weeks Joan returned to the home.

“What would you like to do today?” Joan asked the dark haired girl.

“I don’t know.” Bessie shrugged, “It’s raining so we can’t really go anywhere.” The two sat in silence for a moment before a sudden burst of laughter from across the room caused Bessie to flinch.

“Is there somewhere quieter you’d like to go?” Joan asked, sensing the girl’s discomfort.

“I mean, everyone’s down here so my room’s probably empty but you don’t have to go up there if you don’t want to. We aren’t actually allowed upstairs during the day.”

“How about we head up there for a bit and if you want to come back down here then we will?” Bessie thought for a moment before nodding. She seemed to do that a lot, Joan noticed, the girl almost always thought about her response as if trying to work out if it was the correct answer.

Bessie led Joan upstairs to the bedroom she shared with four other girls. Joan followed Bessie as she made her way over to the bed furthest from the door.

“Well, this is it.” She said plopping down on the bare mattress. Joan looked around and saw that the other four beds all had sheets and blankets and was about to ask Bessie why her bed was bare when she noticed a pile of blankets in the corner a metre or so from the bed. “That’s my nest.” Bessie announced when she saw Joan looking at the pile.

“It looks very cosy.” Joan said.

“It is,” Bessie grinned, “Do you want to sit in it? It’s really warm and soft. I like to curl up in it at night and hide.”

“Who are you hiding from?” Bessie just shrugged again.

“No one in particular. I just like hiding.” Joan noticed that Bessie seemed far happier to talk now that it was just the two of them.

“So, Bessie, what do you like?” Joan asked in an attempt to get to know the girl.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what do you enjoy doing? What’s your favourite food? Do you have a favourite animal? That kind of thing.” Joan clarified.

“Oh, okay.” Bessie nodded, “I like hiding, wait I already said that. Um, I like animals because they don’t judge you for stupid things they only care that you’re nice and don’t hurt them. I like reading because it’s like I get to go an adventures and make friends and stuff but I can do it somewhere quiet and no one interrupts me. Colouring and drawing is fun, I like making patterns. What was the other question? Oh, yeah, favourite food. I don’t really have one, I don’t really like eating because sometimes it hurts and it makes me feel sick.”

“Are there any foods that don’t hurt?” Joan asked the girl, she wanted to be sure that Bessie would eat if Joan adopted her.

“I think so,” Bessie nodded slowly, “But I can’t remember which ones. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Joan assured her, “We can work it out together.”

“You mean…” Bessie looked up at Joan with big eyes.

“I would like to adopt you, Bessie.” Joan smiled when Bessie’s face lit up.

“Really? But why me? Why not one of the normal kids?” Bessie’s face fell a little.

“Because you are a sweet kid and I want to give you all the opportunities my mum gave me.” Bessie tilted her head slightly and so Joan continued, “I was adopted when I was a year or two younger than you are. I want to do for you everything my mum did for me. I want to give you home that you feel safe in and that doesn’t overwhelm you with noise and people. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Bessie repeated the question.

“Yeah, would you like to come live with me? You’ll have your own room and we can build you nest of whatever size you want.”

“I’d like that.” Bessie smiled, a small laugh escaping her, “I’d really like that.”

Joan groaned when she heard her phone ring. She was already running late and she really didn’t have the patience to deal with anymore telemarketers that morning.

“Hello?” Joan said as she positioned the pone between her head and her shoulder.

“Hey, Joey, how are you sweetheart?”

“I’m fine mum.” Joan replied as she started the car, “Look, mum, I can’t really talk right now.”

“Oh, is something the matter? Are you alright?”

“No, I’m fine.” Joan laughed a little at the way her mum’s voice reverted back to the one she used to use when Joan was sick as a child. “I’m picking Bessie up today.”

“Is that today? I thought it was next week. I’m sorry Joey, I’ll be right over.”

“Wait, mum. I know you’re excited to meet her but I think it might be best if it’s just me and Bessie for the first couple of days, I don’t want her getting overwhelmed with too many new things at once.” Joan bit her lip hoping that her mum would understand.

“Right, of course. Sorry. Well tell Bessie I say hi and that I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

“Alright, I will.”

“Okay. Bye, love.”

“See ya.” Joan sighed as she hung up the phone. She loved her mother but sometimes she was a bit too excitable.

As Joan pulled up in front of the home she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Two minutes to spare.” She said, looking down at the clock. Deciding that it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to be a tiny bit early Joan got out of the car and headed inside.

“Joan!” Bessie waved from where she was sitting on the second step of the staircase.

“Were you watching the door?” Joan asked, giving the girl’s hand a squeeze.

“Yep, you’re one minute and 25 seconds early.” Bessie informed her.

“Am I?” Joan asked, looking down at her watch, “In that case I should probably go wait in the car for a minute or so.” Joan said as she turned away only for Bessie to grab hold of her arm and pull her down to sit beside her.

“You’re not that early.” Bessie said through a fit of giggles as she gave Joan’s hand a tight squeeze. Bessie wasn’t particularly fond of people touching her and she very rarely allowed anyone to hug her. The first time Bessie had given Joan’s hand a squeeze Joan had been a little confused.

“It’s like a hug,” Bessie had said, “But it doesn’t make my skin burn.”

“That’s very clever.” Joan had told the girl who smiled proudly.

“Sometimes I like hugs but most of the time it makes my skin feel like it’s on fire. Sorry.”

“Hey,” Joan had said, “Don’t ever apologise for not liking something. I just want you to be happy and safe,” then as an after thought she had added, “And you know what? It’s not the physical contact that makes hugs special. It’s the person you’re hugging.” Joan vividly remembered the way Bessie’s face had lit up when she squeezed her hand back.

“Are you excited?” Joan asked Bessie as she settled herself on the step.

“Yeah,” Bessie nodded, “But I’m also scared.” She admitted the last bit quietly.

“Would you like to watch the video again?” Joan asked. She had made a video tour of her house for Bessie so that she wouldn’t feel like she was going in blind.

“Yes please.” Joan got her phone out of her pocket and set of the video. It started at the front door, then went into the office, then the lounge room, followed by the kitchen and finally the bathroom. Afterwards it went upstairs and showed the three bedrooms, Joan’s room and two spares. Joan had told Bessie that she could choose which of the rooms she wanted and she had chosen the bigger of the two that also happened to share a wall with Joan’s room. The room was a simple guest room but Joan had promised that Bessie could decorate it however she liked.

“Can I get a loft bed?” Bessie asked once the video had finished, “That way I can hang up blankets and make a cave underneath it.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Joan agreed, “And you know, there’s this really big tree in the backyard that would be perfect for a treehouse.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’ve always wanted a treehouse.” Bessie said excitedly.

“Me too, but we didn’t have any big enough trees where I grew up.”

“Can we build it together?” Bessie asked, “I mean I get if you’d rather just buy on and have someone put it in, it’s probably quicker and safer and-“

“I’d love to build a treehouse with you.” Joan told her.

“Alright, last one.” Joan said as she turned to the final page, “You ready, Bessie?”

“I’m ready.” Bessie nodded. She watched closely as Joan signed the last form.

“Well, that’s it. You’re stuck with me now.” Joan laughed as Bessie jumped around the room with excitement.

“I think it might be the other way around.” Maude muttered, just loud enough for Joan to hear.

“Alright, Bessie, why don’t you go get your bag and I’ll meet you at the front door in a minute.” Joan waited for Bessie’s footsteps to disappear up the stairs before turning to Maude, “Listen, I get that she probably wasn’t the easiest kid to have here but that’s not her fault. Surely you’ve noticed the way the kids treat her and how uncomfortable she is around them, if you had allowed her to stay upstairs instead of forcing her to be with everyone else-“

“I can’t just go around making different rules for different people.” Maude said, “If I had let her stay in her room then everyone else would have wanted to stay upstairs. The children are required to stay downstairs for supervision purposes. There are plenty of quiet corners for them to retreat to if they want to be alone. Kids need to learn that sometimes in life you have to do things you don’t want to do.”

“They also need to learn that not everyone has the same needs.” Joan said calmly, “This isn’t a case of Bessie being shy. Her brain doesn’t process sensory input like other people’s do.”

“You’ve know the girl for a month, how would you know what her brain can and can’t do?” Maude rolled her eyes.

“Because I’m a paediatrician, It’s my job to know.” Joan said, turning and leaving the room.

“What was that about?” Bessie asked when Joan met her on the front stoop.

“I just needed to have a quick word with Maude.”

“About me?” Bessie asked nervously.

“Yes,” Joan had made a promise to herself that she would be truthful with Bessie, “I didn’t like the way she spoke to you, or about you for that matter.”

“What did she say?” Bessie wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

“It wasn’t so much what she said,” Joan told her as they walked to the car, “More how she said it.” Joan sighed before kneeling down so she was eye level with Bessie, “Bessie, I need you to listen to me and understand that no matter what anyone says to you, no matter how they treat you, you are an incredible person, alright?” Bessie nodded sadly.

“It’s because I’m autistic isn’t it? That’s why people treat me like that.”

“No,” Joan shook her head, “People do what they do because they don’t understand. They don’t understand that you’re brain processes information differently to theirs and sometimes people lash out when they don’t understand something.”

“Because they’re scared?”

“Exactly, people fear what they don’t understand.” Joan confirmed, “But like I said, you are an amazing kid and nothing that anyone says is going to change that.” Bessie smiled wides as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve, “I think it’s time to go home, what do you think?” Joan smiled back.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

@upsettimyspagetthi

#six #six the musical #six fanfiction #bessie on the bass #joan on the keys #autistic bessie

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dyspfanblog · 4 years

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Post #133 – Could Yui from K-ON! have Dyspraxia?

Welcoming Yui!

Yui from K-On! is the newest addition to my on-going ‘potential dyspraxic character’ project. It’s been a while since I’ve done a potential dyspraxic analysis, although not from a lack of content, just Yui zoomed straight to the top of the list. For starters, Yui is a character I consider to be a strong contender for the potential dyspraxic title. Then there’s the point that I finished ‘K-On!’ fairly recently so felt I should get my thoughts out while it’s still in my head! Plus I wanted to do something light because these recent months have been tough, both personally and globally. Got to be honest though, you can’t get much more light-hearted than K-On!!

Originally, this post was going to be fairly short, however as I looked into Yui as a character more and more talking points seemed to sprout up! I’ve gone ahead and added her profile to the Potential Dyspraxic Character page and simply listed everything out if you rather a quick reference version. Link is at the bottom of this page.

Potential Dyspraxic Characters

For those unfamiliar with my blog, just a quick sum up what this is all about. This kind of post is for me to show how I perceive certain characters and the possibility that they could be dyspraxic. We have unique ways of connecting with fictional characters and sometimes we can relate to them in unusual ways. Seeing as dyspraxia is a combination of certain human traits, it means there’s a possible that characters may end up with a ‘dyspraxic combination’ purely by accident. In no way is this trying to discredit the original creation, but to see them in an alternative light. Take this, and any of my analyses, with a pinch of salt.

DISCLAIMER: With these character profiles I may bring up key-points and moments from their franchise, so potential minor spoilers ahead! Also as I’ve only seen the anime this analysis will leave out anything exclusive to the manga.

Yui and K-ON!

‘K-On!‘ is a popular slice-of-life manga revolving around the lives of the Light Music Club’s members, that got an anime adaptation. The anime has spanned several seasons, specials, spin-offs, a movie, and a library of music to date. For what this post is worth, if you want something light-hearted to get absorbed into then I highly recommend K-On! to you.

Could Yui Hirasawa be Dyspraxic?

Yui Hirasawa is the protagonist of ‘K-On!’; she is a member of the Light Music Club and the band Ho-kago Tea Time (After-School Tea Time). She is the lead guitarist and lead vocalist for the band. On the outside, Yui is your classic ditsy anime character; she’s easily distracted, sometimes forgetful, and gets into little accidents frequently. With other dyspraxic-type traits revealing themselves, it got the gears in my head turning and it simply clicked together for me that Yui could well have dyspraxia.

Co-Ordination and Clumsiness

Yui is really clumsy and has the habit of falling over, dropping things, tripping up, and bumping into people and objects. Over the course of the series, Yui shows she has balance issues. especially when she’s carrying something, like a tray of mugs or something bulky like a speaker. She’s a messy eater too as seen on a few occasions. On top of this, Yui sometimes has other slight issues with gross motor co-ordination.

On the flip-side, when it comes to fine motor skills Yui doesn’t have any real issues with it. After all, she has a certain talent for playing guitar.

Oh Yui, I feel your pain!

Thought and Memory

Given that Yui’s short-term memory is awful and couple it with the fact she gets distracted ever so easily and you have a perfect recipe for disaster! When she learns something new, it often pushes something she memorised previously out of her head.

Yui’s time-keeping is pretty bad, although a few times she misread her alarm clock and arrived at school incredibly early. The first occurrence happens in the first episode where she even got distracted along the way…twice! The people around her have picked up on her unorthodox time-keeping skills and easily distracted nature, so it is fair to conclude this is a common occurrence for Yui.

Yui is quite forgetful too; whether it’s forgetting to do her homework or leaving her guitar at home on the day of a concert, she certainly doesn’t discriminate against what to forget! She struggles to remember music terminology and plays using intuition and her self-taught approach. Similarly, many people with dyspraxia find their own ways to learn and achieve when conventional ways are too difficult. At some point in the series she lost a mitten too, because of course she did!

Yui struggles with multi-tasking and this is something that others are well aware of. At first, she found it impossible to sing and play her guitar simultaneously. Although, after some 1-2-1 tutoring she was finally able to crack it, but still has difficulty to do both sometimes.

A line extracted from her Wiki Bio: “She cannot do more than one thing at a time, but to make up for that she can be highly focused on a particular subject and once started, can advance quite substantially.”

When it comes to her academic abilities, Yui struggles tremendously with it. In one exam, she was the only one in her class to fail and had to retake it. With effort and support from her friends and sister she passed it second time around. However, not only did she pass it, but she absolutely aced it! While this alone isn’t exactly a dyspraxic trait, it embodies the spirit of dyspraxia quite nicely; especially when the other factors of Yui are taken into account.

Despite being viewed as stupid and an air-head, Yui is really observant and alert. A few times, she realises an issue before anybody else has.

We get a little bit of extra character building in K-On!’s spin-off series, ‘Ura-On!’. In one episode, we see that Yui gets lost easily and judging by her personality it wouldn’t be surprising if this is actually the case. I am unsure if ‘Ura-On!’ is canon or not, but it does seem faithful to the characters, so I’m going to count it.

Perception of Senses

Yui has an aversion to both hot and cold temperatures and can’t deal with them very well. She’s also sensitive to air-conditioning units. Quote from Yui: “I’m scared of hot and cold. In winter, I hide under the heating table and in summer, I lie in bed and do nothing.”

As mentioned previously, her spatial awareness is something she struggles with as she does bumps into people and objects pretty often.

Something to note: Yui has the rare gift of having ‘perfect pitch’. Wikipedia states it as: “Absolute pitch (AP), often called perfect pitch, is a rare ability of a person to identify or re-create a given musical note without the benefit of a reference tone”. Wikipedia then goes on to state: “There is evidence of a higher rate of absolute pitch in the autistic population.” Dyspraxia and autism have overlaps, so there could be more to Yui than at first glance. In short, this helps solidifies an autistic side which by proxy, helps to cement a dyspraxic side.

For the Wikipedia page on ‘Absolute pitch’ click here

Emotion and Behaviour

Yui has difficulty controlling her emotions and can get overwhelmed easily. Even with positive news she can struggle processing it and have a mental overload. She can get overwhelmed if she has too much information to process, which can lead to an emotional breakdown. The Light Music Club members understand she has this difficulty and do their best for her. Mainly by explaining things to her in a way she’ll understand and also help calm her down when she has a meltdown.

Yui dozes off often as she does get tired fairly quickly. Although, there are times where she’ll go to bed late due to getting absorbed into practising guitar or revising. Additionally, she can have a short attention span and she gets distracted easily.

Yui has some social awkwardness to her and I think she struggles at picking up on non-verbal cues, like on some occasions taking jokes literally and sarcasm can fly over her head. Also, Yui sometimes hugs a little too hard because she lets her emotions get the better of her, but there is a possibility that there’s a co-ordination difficulty at work too.

Speech and Language

Sometimes Yui gets stuck for words and stutters, which is a link back into her getting overwhelmed. She has shown that sometimes she can get words mixed up too. These issues don’t crop up too often though.

Yui Overall

Yui has a strong connection to dyspraxia and in my opinion scores incredibly favourable overall. In fact, she tops the list! Yui’s prominent clumsiness, getting easily overwhelmed, and a pure heart make her a character that those with dyspraxia can probably relate to quite easily. While she can lose interest easily and gets distracted even easier, with the right help or push she can, and does, succeed. While it would seem no one has brought up a possibility of Yui having dyspraxia online, at least as far as I can tell, some people have raised the idea that she could be on the autism spectrum and/or have ADHD. With certain overlaps it isn’t a stretch to believe that she could be dyspraxic too.

Yui is an embodiment of Dyspraxic Fantastic at its core and holds a certain spirit of dyspraxia. What sets her apart from other characters on my list is a certain depth and richness to her character.

And to wrap this post up, a nice sentimental quote from Yui: “To the me back then, you don’t need to worry. You’ll soon find something you can do, something you can set your heart on.”

Thanks for reading this post and please check out some of the links below for more information.

Extra Reading

Dyspraxic Characters Encyclopedia

Dyspraxic Characters Project Post

Yui Wiki Fandom Page

K-ON! Home Site

The post Post #133 – Could Yui from K-ON! have Dyspraxia? appeared first on DyspraxicFantastic.com.

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caitsbooks · 5 years

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12 LGBTQ+ Reads

IT’S PRIDE MONTH!!! The best month of the year!!! In celebration, I’ve compiled a list of 12 amazing LGBTQ+ reads that are perfect if you’re looking to read the rainbow this month.

These are a mix of my personal favorites, plus some that I’m dying to read.

Read more for details on each book!

Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter || Reviews

YA Contemporary

AUTOBOYOGRAPHY BY CHRISTINA LAUREN

Tanner Scott moved from California to Utah, and from being out of the closet as bisexual, to temporarily back in. He can’t wait to graduate and get out of Utah, but when his best friend convinces him to enroll in his high school’s prestigious Seminar class, where students attempt to draft a book in a semester, he meets Sebastian Brother.

Autoboyography has everything you could want in a YA contemporary, adorable romance, great family relationships, and memorable characters, however, what really makes it stand out to me is how well it handles religion.

“A God worthy of your eternal love wouldn’t judge you for who you love while you’re here.”

QUEENS OF GEEK BY JEN WILDE

Queens of Geek follows two perspectives. Taylor is a nerdy girl on the autism spectrum, and secretly in love with one of her best friends, Jamie. Charlie is a bisexual vlogger and actress promoting her next movie. When the three friends go to SupaCon, Charlie discovers her long-time crush on a fellow actress may not be unrequited, and Taylor must decide whether or not to keep playing it safe.

“You can’t pick and chose whose equality you support.”

SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA BY BECKY ALBERTALLI

On the off-chance you haven’t heard of this book, or the movie, Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda is about Simon Spier, a closeted teen in high school, who’s private emails to the anonymous “Blue” get discovered by one of his classmates. Simon will do anything to keep them from being shared, outing him and scaring Blue away.

This book is pretty hyped, but I had to include it on the list (however, if you’ve already read it but want more like it- check out What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera).

“Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn’t be this big awkward thing whether you’re straight, gay, bi, or whatever. I’m just saying.”

[Related: Autoboyography by Christina Lauren (Review)]

YA Sci-Fi/Fantasy

OF FIRE AND STARS (OF FIRE AND STARS #1) BY AUDREY COULTHURST

Princess Dennaleia has been betrothed to the prince of Mynaria since childhood, but she has a secret that could threaten the alliance. She possesses an Affinity for fire- but magic is forbidden in the prince’s kingdom. While trying to hide her magic, she must also learn the ways of Mynaria- including learning horseback riding from her betrothed’s sister, Mare. When an assassination shocks the kingdom, Mare and Denna must join forces to solve the puzzle, however, as their friendship grows into something more, conflicts grow that make the alliance between the two kingdoms crucial.

“An Affinity, much like a heart, cannot be changed.”

ASH BY MALINDA LO

After her father dies, Ash is left with her cruel stepmother. Consumed with grief, she dreams of fairies stealing her away. Her wish is close to being granted when she meets the dangerous fairy Sidhean. However, then she meets Kaisa, the King’s Huntress, and their friendship reawakens her desire to live and love. Claimed by Sidhean, Ash is forced to choose between her dreams and her love.

I’m ashamed to admit that I still haven’t read this book yet. However, it’s such a staple in the LGBTQ+ YA community that I had to include it here, and I’m really hoping to dive into it soon.

“To charge someone with love is a great responsibility; there will be an equal yet unexpected reaction.”

THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO VICE AND VIRTUE (MONTAGUE SIBLINGS #1) BY MACKENZI LEE

Monty has vowed that his Grand Tour of Europe will be a time for parties, gambling, and all of his favorite types of fun with his best friend and “the unrequited love of his life”, Percy. He’s determined to still enjoy it even though his younger sister joins him. However, the trip takes a turn when his reckless decisions lead to a manhunt across Europe, and threaten the relationship with the one person who matters most to him.

“I’ve always been of the mind that subtlety is a waste of time. Fortune favors the flirtatious.”

[Related: The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (Review)]

2019 Releases

ONCE AND FUTURE (ONCE AND FUTURE #1) BY AMY ROSE CAPETTA AND CORI MCCARTHY

I honestly can’t describe this better than the synopsis from Goodreads: “When Ari crash-lands on Old Earth and pulls a magic sword from its ancient resting place, she is revealed to be the newest reincarnation of King Arthur. Then she meets Merlin, who has aged backward over the centuries into a teenager, and together they must break the curse that keeps Arthur coming back. Their quest? Defeat the cruel, oppressive government and bring peace and equality to all humankind. No pressure.”

“I think people need heroes. I think you're a hero. It's that simple to me.”

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST BY MASON DEAVER

Ben is thrown out of their house after coming out to their parents as nonbinary. Struggling with anxiety, Ben focuses on just surviving their new school, until Nathan decides to take Ben under his wing. As their friendship grows and develops into something more, Ben realizes they might have a chance at a new, better life.

“Guess we need to talk, huh? Because I can’t exactly call you my boyfriend, can I?” I hadn’t even thought about that. “I guess not,” I say. “Is partner a little too cowboy for you?” I tip an imaginary cowboy hat. “Yee haw.”

SMALL TOWN HEARTS BY LILLIE VALE

Babe thought this summer would be dedicated to spending time with her friends before they leave for college, but when one mistake causes the three of them to break up, and her ex-girlfriend comes back to town, her chances of having the summer she dreamed about are slim. But when Levi arrives for the summer, Babe knows she shouldn’t get close to him. After all, he’ll be leaving come fall, but keeping her distance is becoming harder and harder.

“Because the strength of a lighthouse is from its being alone. From being a beacon of light in the darkness, a finger showing you which way is home.”

[Related: Interview with Lillie Vale, Author of Small Town Hearts]

Extras!

THE PRINCE AND THE DRESSMAKER BY JEN WANG

[Genre: YA Graphic Novel]

Prince Sebastian’s parents are looking for a bride for him. Sebastian, however, is too busy hiding his secret life, where he puts on daring dresses as Lady Crystallia. Frances is his secret dressmaker, but she her dreams are too bright to stay hidden. How long can she ignore them to help her friend?

“Some days I look at myself in the mirror and think, “That’s me, Prince Sebastian! I wear boy clothes and look like my father.’ Other days it doesn’t feel right at all. Those days I feel like I’m actually a princess.”

GEORGE BY ALEX GINO

[Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary]

“When people look at George, they think they see a boy. But she knows she’s not a boy. She knows she’s a girl.” When George’s teacher announces that their class will be putting on the play Charlotte’s Web, George dreams of playing Charlotte, but her teacher says she can’t try out for the part because she’s a boy. So George and her best friend come up with a plan, not only to play Charlotte, but to show the world who she truly is.

“George stopped. It was such a short, little question, but she couldn’t make her mouth form the sounds. Mom, what if I’m a girl?”

RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE BY CASEY MCQUISTON

[Genre: New Adult/Adult Romance]

Alex, First Son of the United States, has always hated Prince Henry. But when a confrontation between the two of them cause a stir in the press, he’s forced to fake a friendship with his nemesis. Except, Prince Henry isn’t what he thought. Alex must battle his mother’s political opponents, his own dreams of working in politics, and his growing feelings for the Prince he used to despise. However, a secret relationship with Henry could cause serious problems for his mothers reelection campaign, and Alex must decide what he’s willing to sacrifice.

“But the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable.”

[Related: Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston – The Perfect Read for Pride Month (Review)]

I’m hoping to read more LGBTQ+ books before this month ends (and just in general, because everyone’s life needs to be a little gayer), so do you have any recommendations? What’s your favorite LGBTQ+ book?

Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter || Reviews

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lickthemagaindeacy · 5 years

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Don’t Believe All You Read In The Bible

Inspired by this post.

I started wondering about some of the relationships Freddie would have with his bandmates’ kids, now that they’re all adults, what kind of influence he might have had in their lives. And I got to thinking about the fact that, even though he never met Freddie, Cameron Deacon has spoken about how he holds Freddie in such high regard, and considers him a hero and an LGBT+ icon. This promptly poured out of me.

Some notes: It just felt appropriate to me that Freddie would be Cameron’s godfather for this lil story. I’ve heard that John named Freddie godfather of one of his sons, but I don’t know if this is true. All details referenced about Cameron (religion, sexuality, his admiration of Freddie) are things he has spoken openly about on his YouTube channel, one of which is the fact that he has very high functioning autism, which is the reason behind some of the details about social cues and touch.

This is pretty angsty, with a healthy dose of fluff, and a bit lengthy. Gets a little in depth about religion, they are my own opinions, and not necessarily the opinions of anyone mentioned in this post. I do not begrudge anyone their faith, but church is not my cuppa. If you feel the need to be defensive and @ me, then just go home now. Title comes from the Queen song “Great King Rat”. Takes place approx 10 years ago, Cam would have been around 15. Reminder: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. I wrote this as catharsis for myself, but I REALLY hope some of y’all like it, too.

Freddie sits alone in the studio, glasses perched upon his nose, staring down at a sheet of paper with more scratches over it than words, attempting to decipher what might be usable of the blotches and scribbles over its surface. He runs a hand through his thinning hair, which is more silver than raven these days, on the verge of giving up for the day, when a knock comes at the door.

"Come in," he calls, reaching for his drink and taking a sip. He looks up to see who has relieved him of his task, a sarcastic “thank you“ on his lips, when he sees the youngest Deacon standing just inside the room, looking nervous enough to pass out at any moment. "Darling?" he calls softly, and Cameron jumps slightly, before releasing the breath he had been holding. "Cam, dear, what's wrong? Come, sit and talk to me, you look ready to hit the floor."

Cameron shuffles over to the couch opposite the mixing desk Freddie is sat at, not once looking up at his godfather, and falls gracelessly onto the cushions. Freddie passes over his drink, and the teen takes it with a shaking hand, finally glancing up to the older man's face.

"You look like you could use a little liquid courage, darling. Shh, I won’t tell your father if you won't," he whispers conspiratorially, leaning closer. When this fails to get a reaction from his godson, Freddie hastens to add, "Unless, of course, you'd prefer tea. I could whip you up a cuppa quick-" he cuts himself off when Cameron knocks back the drink in one go, wincing slightly, before handing the glass back to Freddie. "Alright then. Now, darling, care to tell me what has you looking like you've just seen a ghost?"

Freddie comes to sit on the couch next to his godson, not touching him, afraid that he'll spook him, but close enough the teen can feel and hopefully take strength from his presence.

"Uncle Fred, how long have you and Uncle Jim been together now?"

The man had not expected the topic of discussion to turn to himself, but if it got the boy talking, he would gladly go along with it.

"Oh dear, well, longer than you've been alive, that's for certain. Around thirty years now, I suppose." He gazes at his godson’s profile, dying to know what has the darling boy so upset, but unwilling to push further. He allows Cam to control the conversation entirely.

“And you love each other, right?”

“Of course we do, darling. Just as sure as the sun rises in the east every morning.”

“How have you stayed strong for so long? How have you not fallen apart?” the boy asks, before looking up at Freddie, eyes widened in slight horror. “I’m sorry. Was that too far? Was that rude? I’m trying to get better about realizing what things are appropriate but sometimes I still slip--,” Freddie cuts the boy off by placing his arm softly around his slim shoulders and pulling him close, placing a reassuring kiss to soft brown hair.

“My love, I am in no way offended. You are family, I don’t mind you asking about things like this,” Freddie assures his godson, pulling back to look at the boy’s face. “Of course we’ve had our fair share of troubles, of fights and shouting matches, just as any couple would. But I must ask you, what has brought this on? You never seemed so curious about this before.”

Cameron takes in a deep breath and holds it for a moment, before letting it out in a rush. “Well, no, I-I suppose that’s just because you’ve always been there. You’ve always been Uncle Fred and Uncle Jim, just like Uncle Bri and Aunt Anita. I guess I’ve...been doing a lot of thinking lately and I--that is to say, I think--” Freddie rubs his hand up and down his godson’s shaking shoulder, silently offering reassurance that he will not be judged for whatever he has to say. “Uncle Freddie, I th-think I’m like you. Like you and Uncle Jim.”

The older man had already cottoned on to what the boy had come to him for, but still could not keep himself from sweeping Cam up against his chest, forgetting that touch was sometimes not welcome to the boy, especially if he was upset. Luckily, he welcomed physical comfort from Freddie as much as from his own parents, and when he did not pull away, Freddie pressed his lips again to soft brown hair, whispering reassurances and calming words as he felt Cam begin to shake with sobs. He sat there wrapped around his godson as the catharsis washed over the boy and the tension left his body in the form of tears. Freddie knew as well as anybody how much good a nice cry could do for a person. His own thoughts and emotions swirled around his head as they held each other. Unconditional love for his godson, excitement and pride that the boy would confide such a thing in him, a small amount of fear, for even though it is the 21st century, the world could still be just as cruel to people like them as it was 40 years ago.

After a good ten minutes, Freddie finally felt Cameron’s breathing begin to slow and even out, and he readjusted, bringing his hand under the boy’s chin to tilt his face up. He beamed, the full, uninhibited smile that he still did not much like showing to the public, and wiped the boys tears with soft fingers.

“Deep breaths, my dear. Oh I am so proud of you, you brave beautiful boy.”

Cameron peered up at his godfather, taking in his words as he saw the truth of them reflected in the man’s dark eyes. “Really?”

“Of course I am! Do you think that I, of all people, don’t understand precisely how you are feeling?”

Cam looks down again, scuffing his shoe against a tear in the studio’s old, worn carpeting. “I don’t mean to doubt you Uncle Freddie, it’s just...”

Freddie could tell there was something more serious bothering the boy beside him. “What’s wrong, dear? There is something else bothering you, isn’t there? You know you can tell me. I would never dream of judging you for it.”

“It’s just...I know everyone doesn’t think like you do. I am terrified that some people, who I admire and care for very much, may find out and not think of me the same way anymore. What if it changes their opinion of me? What if they want nothing to do with me anymore?

Freddie’s overworked brain immediately jumps to conclusions, and he sees red. “Did your father say something to make you think--?”

Cam’s head snaps up so quickly Freddie swears he hears a crack. The boy’s eyes are wide with panic again as he stumbles over himself to correct the situation. “What?! No, no he never--That’s not what I meant at all!!”

Freddie feels his shoulders sag, releasing tension he had not realized was building. He squeezes the boy’s shoulder and shushes him gently. “Shh, dear, it’s okay. I should never have made such an assumption, I’m sorry. Although I am glad of the reassurance that John still has his head screwed on the right way about that. He may be one of my favorite people in this universe, and I may not be as young as I once was, but I am still willing to knock his ass down a peg or two if needed.” By now Cameron is laughing, unrestrained, and Freddie feels affection for the lad swell inside his chest again.

Once he has regained his composure, Cameron continues, “What I meant was, um...I started my confirmation recently with the church. And a few weeks ago, at our weekly meeting, someone brought up the topic of sexuality. It got heated, the group was pretty evenly split on their opinions. And I sat there, completely frozen, because I was terrified that if I even moved, they would know, they would just know and I couldn’t--” He cuts himself off then, unable to continue. Freddie may not have shared the same views on religion as his late father, however he did know enough to understand how religion weaved its way into life and society since the beginning of humankind. He knew how important this was to countless people

“Cameron,” Freddie begins seriously, capturing the boy’s attention again. “You do not own an explanation to anyone. Not a single person. Let them think whatever they want to think. You know your truth, and you know you are loved, and that is what matters most. As for your faith, let me share with you something that a frightened, confused, but determined young man once wrote years ago; ‘don’t believe all that you read in the bible’ okay? If God created the universe, and if I learned anything from Uncle Brian’s endless ramblings, the universe has been here for billions of years, how can a book that has only been around and been freely re-interpreted hundreds of times for 2,000 years possibly capture the truth? Your relationship with God is just that; yours. It is between you and Him. Or Her. Or Them. Because in this house, we do not assume anyone’s gender or pronouns.”

Cam throws his arms around Freddie’s neck, giving him a hearty squeeze, which Freddie easily returns. They stay like this for a moment, the boy taking comfort in his godfather’s presence and thinking about his words. “You’re probably right. That certainly gives me something to think about. It’s a step in the right direction anyway.”

The boy presses a kiss to Freddie’s cheek as he pulls away, then stands and readies himself to leave, saying something about needing to be home for dinner, and being the last one home, as his father had left the studio nearly 30 minutes before he arrived.

“You’re still coming to dinner at the Lodge on Thursday, yeah? You know how much your Uncle Jim looks forward to seeing you boys every week.” Freddie carefully does not admit how he looks forward to these weekly gatherings just as much as his husband does.

“Yeah of course! You know, he may act like it’s some big obligation, but I know Luke wouldn’t miss it for the world. Thanks again, Uncle Fred. Bye, now! Love you!”

“I’ll see you later, love! Tell your mother hello for me!” and in a second, Freddie is alone again in the quiet control room.

He stands slowly, allowing his muscles to stretch and blood to flow back into the right places before crossing to the mixing desk again, picking up his abandoned paper and glasses. He stares down at the words again for a moment before deciding it can all wait until tomorrow. He has a husband waiting for him at home, one who he would very much like to cuddle up to and remind how much he loves him.

#oh god i really hope this goes over well #i never write about real people cuz it's kinda weird #but i really needed this #freddie mercury #Uncle Freddie #uncle fred #queen #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #dont let this flop #i have a happy trigger finger when it comes to that delete button

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rreadsdaily · 5 years

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This week for #GetToKnowTheRosendeReaders, we meet Claire.

#GetToKnowTheRosendeReaders has the only purpose to bring even closer the members of the RosendeReads book club. We read together every week but we barely know each other so every week I will interview one of you by choosing randomly someone on Twitter. You can find all the info about GTKTRR here.

This week we meet Claire from Maryland. Thank you Claire for taking the time to chat with me, it was amazing as always! So here’s the first question: Name, age and where are you from? C: My name is Claire, I’m 26, and I am from Baltimore, Maryland, USA 2019 just started and the beginning of the new year usually brings with itself positivity and motivation. Did you set up a reading challenge for yourself? If so, how many books would you like to read this year? C: That’s a great question! I haven’t set up a formal reading challenge for myself specially for 2019 in terms of number of books. However, I would really like to branch out and read books from different authors and genres. Rosende Reads has been a great way for me to get started on that. I can honestly say that I never would have picked up “Into the Wild” if it wasn’t on the Rosende Reads list, but I can also say that after having read it, it’s my favorite Rosende Reads book so far! That’s very interesting. I honestly have different feelings about this book and i’m so looking forward to discuss about it with you all. How did you get into reading? Was it something that has always been with you as a child or would you say it’s more of a passion you discovered yourself? C: That’s another awesome question! I was always a pretty decent reader growing up. I learned to read early and I’m still a pretty fast reader. However, reading wasn’t always something that I enjoyed. If I had to pick a time when I fell in love with reading, I would have to say it was second grade. That year, my teacher (Mrs. Irwin) read the first three “Harry Potter” books out loud to our class. It was the first time I ever really remember getting excited about a book, and the first time I experienced the suspense and wonder that reading can bring. I know it sounds cliche, but experiencing those first three “Harry Potter” books with my class really got me hooked on reading. I went all the way through high school with almost all of the kids that were in my second grade class. The last “Harry Potter” book came out when I was a freshman, and of the people from my second grade class that were still in school with me by then, all of us ended up finishing the series. I think it was the combination of having a great story and a teacher who was excited about reading is why “Harry Potter” had such a profound impact on me as a reader. That’s amazing. Teachers who can bring such a joy and excitement into their students’ lives are so rare nowdays. I, for example, never had a tracher who cared that much about reading. I would have loved to read books and discuss about them with the rest of the class but my teacher never thought it was a priority. What’s your favorite thing about reading? C: I definitely feel like teachers who love reading are extremely important! I teach special ed. to middle schoolers with pretty significant Autism, and even though most of them can’t read, I see them getting excited about books because I get excited about them and I like to think I’m paying it forward for what Mrs. Irwin did for me. My favorite thing about reading is that it allows you to experience stories and characters in a way that also allows you to be a part of the story you’re reading. Unlike television or movies, reading allows you to create your own image of a character, setting, or event, which allows you to make the book you are reading more personal and meaningful to you. I also love how two people can read the exact same book at the exact same time and create a completely different image of the characters or settings they are reading about! I think that’s a pretty special thing, and it gets forgotten a lot these days with the amount of technology in our lives. Yes, absolutely. Reading is something so personal and with the same book people can make up totally different scenarios. How often do you read out of your comfort zone? C: I’d like to think I do it pretty often. I don’t have as much time now to read as I used to, because work and graduate school have kept me pretty busy. I took quite a few different English classes in undergrad that allowed me to experience a lot of different genres (e.g. African American literature and detective fiction). I also have a pretty strict “read the book before the movie/show” rule that I keep for myself, which usually helps me branch out beyond my favorite types of books.

That’s the same rule i keep for myself even though i always tend to separate the book to the movie/show adaptation at the end. How did you find RR? C: It’s a great rule! I found out about Rosende Reads through following Alberto on Instagram. I actually intended to be more of a part of it last fall, but with work and grad. school, I just didn’t have time. My schedule is a little bit less crazy this school year, so when I saw that the September book was “Handmaid’s Tale”, it seemed like I perfect opportunity to get back into reading different types of books. Plus, I had wanted to watch the “Handmaid’s Tale” show, but wanted to read the book first. Really, my involvement in Rosende Reads was more like a bunch of little things that just happened to line up perfectly. After the first live chat for “Handmaid’s Tale,” I knew I wanted to continue to be a part of Rosende Reads after I experienced how excited everyone was when it was time for the live chats, and how much everyone loved talking about the books. Seeing people from all walks of life from all over the world come together to get excited about reading is such a wonderful thing, and I’m extremely glad to be a part of it! Also sorry if my responses are so long. I’m totally enjoying our chat so don’t apologize. Still talking about RosendeReads, what’s the thing you love the most about RR? C: I’m loving our chat, too! I think my favorite thing about Rosende Reads is that it’s a place where people can express their thoughts and opinions and ask questions without worrying about being judged or dismissed. I think Alberto has done an excellent job of creating that atmosphere, and I commend him for it. Do you have a favorite and least favorite book we read in RR? C: I really have enjoyed all the books we’ve read so far! I’ve only been part of Rosende Reads since September, so I honestly don’t have a least favorite. I would definitely have to say “Into the Wild” is my favorite, so far. I can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks about the rest of the book, especially since I missed the discussion for the first half of the book! It’s gonna be a very interesting discussion. Last time people had different feelings about the main character and i’m curious to know what you thought about him. How do you imagine RosendeReads in like 5 years from now? How do you see this bookclub growing? C: I think it’s very fitting that people had mixed feelings about the main character, because the people he met across his journey had mixed feelings about him, too. I would love to see Rosende Reads continue to grow! I really think it’s up to Alberto on what it becomes in 5 years. A friend once told me “You never know what life may bring, but sometimes good things are meant to be short.” Although, I don’t think (or want) that to be the case for Rosende Reads, I think that quote is fitting in that it shows that things don’t have to last a long time or reach a vast number of people to make an impact. So, I guess I would say I hope it continues to grow, but I’m also content if it stays our small little circle of acceptance. It’s the people who make the community the safe place that it is. So i think it will be up to the same people to keep the same excitement and passion and of course, up to Alberto! If you could describe yourself with a book title, which one would it be? C: I totally agree with you! I think it’s up to us to keep it a safe and accepting space, and up to Alberto to continue it! That is an excellent question! I really have to think on that one. Can we come back to that question? I need to think on it Sure, definitely! So a few livechats ago we talked about Hogwarts houses and i feel like at this point they should ask this question in any résumé so what hogwarts house are you and why do you feel like belonging to this one? C: Oh that’s an easy one! And you’re definitely right, it should totally be a required question! I’m definitely a Hufflepuff. I consider myself kind and hard working, and I place high value on those things. I’m also someone who flies under the radar, like most Hufflepuffs tend to do. Another hufflepuff! I feel like RR is full of Hufflepuffs! One last question: do you have any social media beside Twitter? If so, where can we find you? C: Also, myself as a book title would have to be “Just Swim Through”. Although it’s a made up title, it really sums me up. I was a competitive swimmer for 11 years (6th grade all the way through college). For those 11 years, and even today, anytime I have been struggling with something or someone, I find that if I go for a swim, I always feel better and know how to handle the situation. I do have other social media! Besides Twitter (@cluckenpoehler) and Tumblr (@therocksolidpandavan)

#rosende reads #get to know the rosende readers

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kylorenpunk · 5 years

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Do them all. Suffer as I did 😂

Bitch I told you this was our friendship. We force each other to answer all the questions.

1. selfie

Well… I wasn’t dubbed Selfie Queen for nothing…

This one is interesting bc I have zero makeup on. The most recent ones are too blurry. A lot of my fav selfies are full faces of makeup tho.

2. what would you name your future kids?

I feel like that’s a decision for both parents but I really like the names Felicity, Isabella and Dimitri. Yes, all of them are names from various franchises I enjoyed throughout the years. Be glad I’m out of my phase where I thought Vladimir was a good name.

3. do you miss anyone?

I miss all my friends I don’t get to see frequently. Love all of y’all and hope y’all are doing well in life!

4. what are you looking forward to?

Fucking graduating. Jesus Christ it’s taken me five damn years.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

From my club it’s Chris, Yara and Josephine. Also my entire friend group from back home. Honestly I love my friends so much.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

I feel like every situation is different so that’s a tough question to answer.

7. what was your life like last year?

I honestly don’t remember much from December of last year. It was a good time though.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

I’m an emotional bitch. I’ll cry over anything. I cried over fucking Mulan the other day.

9. who did you last see in person?

My parents and brother. Earlier in the day my club.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

I’m shit at it. My face gives away everything. The other day my professor was going into her inspiration porn narrative and I just gave her a cold dead look the entire time.

11. are you listening to music right now?

No but I have the Hamilton soundtrack stuck in my head right now since that’s what I was last listening to. If you haven’t heard it I highly suggest it. Man I wanna see it so badly.

12. what is something you want right now?

Sleep but I’m trying not to throw off my sleep schedule right now and am waiting a bit before going to bed. I only got three hours of sleep last night so that’s fun.

13. how do you feel right now?

Kinda tired. Relieved that I got two service projects in a row done today. It’s been a long weekend.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

My friend Sebastian hugged me when I dropped him off. I guess that counts.

15. personality description

I’m a makeup loving nerd who enjoys sitting in pajamas watching anime and superheros as much as she enjoys swatching EVERY lipstick in Sephora. According to my friends I can’t go 5 seconds without mentioning how old I feel and my love for Dungeons and Dragons. I’m also an asshole. (Wow this sounds like a 12 year old writing this)

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Yeah tons of times. It’s bitten me in the ass. Oh well live and learn I guess?

17. opinion on insecurities.

Everyone has them? If they say they don’t then they are lying. Mine is mainly related to my appearance or how I speak.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

I miss how things were in the beginning of this year. It started off strong then kinda turned into a shit show.

19. have you ever been to New York?

No but it’s my top thing on my bucket list. My friends and I are highly considering a trip.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

Of all time: Get Low by Lil Jon

Currently: “Told You So” by Little Mix (If you haven’t heard their new album I highly suggest it if you love girl groups that preach women empowerment)

21. age and birthday?

22 - June 21st (She’s a Cancer)

22. description of crush.

I don’t have a hardcore crush right now. More like 5 second crushes that are over the second they do something I don’t like.

Edit: Currently “celebrity?” crush is Nathan Sharp. I am seriously considering dropping $55 to see him at a convention this month.

23. fear(s)

Heights, something terrible happening to my loved ones, wild snakes, and the usual common anxiety fears

24. height

Five foot three inches. I’m short. Yes I know it’s not that short but tall people like to put me in the short category anyway.

25. role model

My mom’s coworker who was my internship supervisor. She has a doctorate’s in what I want to do and is amazing at what she does. The amount of knowledge and experience that women has is incredible. She is also extremely funny and knows how to teach with a sense of humor which I appreciate.

26. idol(s)

Celebrity idols? I don’t really idolize celebrities bc humans are humans and have flaws.

27. things i hate

Immaturity, intolerance of differences, demeaning slurs, The Last Jedi, and the new Fantastic Beasts movie

28. i’ll love you if…

Play with my hair, are kind to my friends and family, share common interests, show an interest in what I have to say, basically respect me and those close to me and we’re good

29. favourite film(s)

Hairspray, High School Musical, The Greatest Showman, Stardust, The Harry Potter series, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy

30. favourite tv show(s)

Jane the Virgin, Naruto (fuck off I hate myself too ok), the first three seasons of Arrow before it turned to shit

31. 3 random facts

I’m not artistically talented but I genuinely enjoy makeup and creating looks

I have a nonverbal brother with autism and he’s my favorite person ever

I completely programmed my brother’s communication device by myself

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Now my friends are mainly girls but when I lived in Tampa 90% of my friends over there were guys (Hi Mason). I’m going to say that’s bc of us all playing video games in the Delta lounge (RIP Dirty D). But yeah now it’s mainly girls and 80% of my dude friends are gay.

33. something you want to learn

Sign Language. Ice skating. Hairstyling. Fashion (I’m trying to be better about putting clothes together). Also I’m down to learn more about makeup and techniques

34. most embarrassing moment

Either farting while doing an air guitar in front of my entire girl scout troop

or signing to my friend that I liked her friend at a party and his brother repeated what I had signed out loud in front of everyone

wait. No. When I F U C K E D up in front a super hot guy while volunteering and then chose an 18 year old jock as my wingman. 18 year olds are dumbasses. Don’t use them as wingmen. Fuck you Khaled.

35. favourite subject

In grade school I think it was English or History. It really all depended on the year.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

VISIT NEW YORK

Hike the Smokey Mountains

Visit Europe

37. favourite actor/actress

Chris Evans (especially when he is trying to fight orange president on twitter)

Also Mark Hamill is perfect

38. favourite comedian(s)

I don’t watch comedians often. I guess the Fluffy guy?

39. favourite sport(s)

The only time I give a shit about sports is when my university is undefeated or playing my first university in football. Or the soccer world cup if it’s on. However I appreciate the skill it takes to do a sport.

40. favourite memory

San Antonio. It was my first time traveling without family and it was the greatest time. It was such a cool city

41. relationship status

Single - I take my sweet ass time

42. favourite book(s)

Eragon (No, I haven’t finished the entire series. No, I don’t want spoilers bc I will do it eventually.)

43. favourite song ever

“Get Low” by Lil Jon

“Look Through My Eyes” by Phil Collins

44. age you get mistaken for

Last year I got mistaken twice in a row within an hour for a middle schooler. I was 21 at at that time. During my internship one of the parents asked me if I had any kids. I’m either mistaken as a parent or as a 13-15 year old. There is no in between.

45. how you found out about your idol

N/A since I don’t have an idol

46. what my last text message says

“lmao it’s alright” to Joey but the previous one is more funny “thankfully no one threw up this time” in regards to my friend’s party last night

47. turn ons

Well I aint about to talk about my sex life so let’s go with personality

Common interests such as superheros or anime, charismatic, easy to get along with, common goals in life, cares about their loved ones, has passion, and someone I can hold an intellectual conversation with

48. turn offs

rudeness, immaturity, inattentiveness, bad tempers, superiority complex, not being genuine, judging others, treating people like objects, and general lack of care for others or themselves

49. where i want to be right now

Back in the smokey mountains in a cabin watching movies and anime

50. favourite picture of your idol

N/A

51. starsign

She’s an emotional Cancer

52. something i’m talented at

Apparently I’m good with kids Makeup too I guess?

53. 5 things that make me happy

friends, family, nerdy shit, makeup and Kakashi

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

Some shit happened last night that has me worried for some friends but I’m sure they’ll figure it out

55. tumblr friends

A shit ton of y’all I know IRL. I won’t tag y’all bc that’s annoying af

Joey’s my only internet friend @earthschampion (answer my text bitch)

56. favourite food(s)

pasta, empanadas, crab rangoons, taziki sauce

57. favourite animal(s)

Meerkats and koala bears

58. description of my best friend

K @burnitstronger: realest damn friend you will ever have. Will tell you how it is and provide never ending love and support. Never understands my dumbass shenanigans but loves me anyway. Love you boo

J : Will also tell you how it is and forces you to watch Naruto and ruin your damn life. Will happily go with you to eat junk food after class. Will fight anyone who wrongs you and is def still plotting revenge on all my ex’s. Stans Loona

M: Will scream at you in Leo in a frightening but loving way. Has the best damn fashion sense I have ever seen. Is the friend that comes by when I need her to and brings a shit ton of snacks and love (J does this as well).

59. why i joined tumblr

I was bored on fourth of July in 2012 and my friends kept telling me that this website would be fun. Also the avengers “fandom” from back then

60. ask me anything you want

I would say I’m sorry Mason but I enjoy making all my friends suffer. Make sure to give him a follow bc he’s cool. @masonjar828

#ask #me #yikes this took a long ass time

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unicornsandwich23 · 7 years

Text

Rules/Other information:

So I have officially started writing for Mystic Messenger! I’m a little nervous but I want to try and improve on my writing and maybe start multi chapter stories. Matchups, HCs, GIF reactions, and short fics will all be available! Feel free to message me or send an ask if you have any questions or concerns or if you are unsure about your request!

Rules/Other information:

I am not that good at full on NSFW. However, HCs and not going into TOO MUCH detail is perfectly fine.

If you send in a request and I reject it, feel free to send in another asking me to remove the post if it makes you feel embarrassed. I will be making a list of rejected requests so it’s not necessary to keep your ask up if you are embarrassed it got rejected!

Please be patient with me. I don’t have much going on in my life but I sometimes fall into a bad case of writers block. If I feel like I am taking too long to answer your request, I will respond and explain why. I will than screenshot your request and post it whenever I am done.

I do not do Vanderwood most of the time. You can still add him, but if I don’t feel like I can write for him on a certain request I will tell you. I also refer to him as, well, “him”. It’s just natural for me but if you prefer “them” just mention (They/them pronouns)!

I feel as if I have a good grasp on most of the characters but I do have a bit of trouble with Yoosung and Jaehee. I adore them very much but I feel like I’m not very accurate with them so please don’t be too harsh on me! But don’t feel like you should not add the to your request, I AM 100% WILLING TO WRITE FOR THEM.

I will try my best to do requests with all characters if asked but if I don’t I am very sorry! It may change later if I get inspiration but please don’t be upset if I leave one out at any point.

Be specific! I want to do your request to the best of my ability and the more detail the better! Don’t be afraid to send two asks for one request!

It is especially important to be specific with matchups. Tell me everything and again, don’t be afraid if it takes more than one ask! As long as you put a name/label so I don’t get them mixed up, go for it!(MATCHUPS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED. ANY SENT OUT AFTER THIS POINT !!OCT 9th 6:35 PM!! WILL BE DELETED.)

(Possible SPOILERS for those who haven’t finished the game through Vs Route and the Secret Endings) Unknown/Ray/Saeran are very different personalities in my option. If you request for Ray or Unknown, expect very unhealthy reactions. “Saeran” would be the only personality of his that is recovered enough for a healthy relationship. Please keep this in mind. If you don’t really specify, I will be using his recovered Saeran personality.

This account in general is not spoiler free. I have finished all the game has to offer as of now. I will try to mark where spoilers will be but just be mindful of this. I hate spoilers with a passion and I wouldn’t want to ruin it for someone else.

I do not write for Male!MC. I’m sorry if that is upsetting to people but I just don’t feel as if I could write from a males POV seeing as I am a female.

I do not write two characters together. Meaning no ZenxJaehee, JuminxV, SevenxYoosung, etc. It’s not that I have a problem with any of the ships the MM fandom has, I just don’t think I’d do it justice.

(SPOILERS for V Route) V will be able to see in my writing because he is able to see in his ending.

Requests that will be rejected:

MC with THESE(ONLY) mental illnesses/ disabilities/ disorders.

- Bipolar disorder.

- Postpartum depression.

- Schizophrenia.

- Eating disorders.

- Autism spectrum disorders.

I want to take requests like these as seriously as possible and I don’t believe I understand these conditions enough.

Acceptation: Any other mental illnesses.

Characters with cancer.

I just… No. The topic is far too personal for me and I just couldn’t bring myself to write something for it.

Acceptation: MC lost someone to cancer or any other disease.

No yandere/assassin/murderer MC.

I don’t think I could really put the proper amount of darkness behind it.

Acceptation: Vampire! MC. Possibly accidental deaths. Death in general, really.

ANY of the characters committing rape.

I won’t write about any of the characters raping MC or MC raping anyone.

Acceptation: MC who has had this happen to her in the past or recently.

Daddy kink.

Not really a major thing and I know this is a very popular thing in the fandom but it personally makes me uncomfortable. No shame, though, and I don’t really mind it or judge. Just don’t really think I can write it.

Acceptation: Other kinks such as master or dom/sub.

(Secret Ending Spoiler)

NO switching brothers. I don’t mind writing break ups or make ups and such but I will not write MC switching between Saeran and Saeyoung nor both brothers having feelings for MC.

Acceptation: None.

Age Based Requests

I don't really think they would care about age difference all that much and I won’t write MC 17 or under so I am just going to not do age requests at all. I'm sorry!

Acceptation: None.

(This list may get longer as we go along.)

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sol1loqu1st · 7 years

Text

hi i want to talk abt foi bc its legit among the coolest things ive done; this is long as Fuck but the book is longer i just really wanna talk,, abt this,,

it’s a high fantasy set on the northernmost side of a huge desert (a sea borders its northern side; beyond the sea is a country filled with plains and forests)

there were seven tribes (i still need to look up definitions and see if thats the most accurate term for what im goin for; im thinking abt just using ‘city’ tbh but yknow) in the desert:

-the riches tribe, whose people could shape gemstones and metals (think metalbending but add precious stones in the mix; each person can only control one thing and ur power is usually decided by the stars or some shit)

-the elements tribe, who could control the forces of wind, fire, water, or stone (now LITERALLY think atla; powers are passed down genetically and a few people can control two elements if their parents controlled different ones)

-the land, sky, and sea tribes, who could control animals related to their tribe (land tribe ppl can also learn to turn into their favored animal, sky tribe ppl grow wings as toddlers, sea tribe ppl can breathe underwater & usually live in the sea on the northern border of the desert bc they dont do well on land; powers are decided based on the animals’ preferences – e.g. if ravens had a specific affinity for a kid in the sky tribe the kid would grow raven wings and be able to communicate with and eventually control ravens)

-the time and space tribes, who destroyed each other 60 years ago, and have the power to speed, slow, or even stop time during the hour of their birth, or manifest physical objects from glowing blue energy that makes up everything in the world (also can see in the dark, i guess?)

60 years ago, a huge war happened between the seven tribes, wiping out the space tribe completely (except for one person; more on that later) and destroying all but 200 of the time tribe, who repopulated to about 1,000, and ruining a Lot of stuff in the other five tribes. for the most part the remaining 5 tribes (minus the time tribe for Reasons) have rebuilt themselves but hints of the past war linger. no one is aware that the time tribe survived (they rebuilt their city FAR from the original location). the time and space tribes faded from public consciousness pretty quickly since all their historical records were destroyed; most of the knowledge about them now is legends and myths

in the present day, 5 children (one from each of the remaining tribes) who lost various loved ones to the same glowing blue knives (created, ofc, by the surviving member of the space tribe, ebon (…courtesy of 2012 me’s genius naming skills, they’re all gonna be like this it’s part of the aesthetic), though the kids dont know that or even recognize it as a space tribe power) are approached by an old man (guess who! its ebon) who claims to be the last surviving member of the space tribe and apparently has evidence that the time tribe is plotting revenge and theyre the ones that killed the kids’ families and he speaks of a supposed prophecy that 5 kids who the time tribe had stolen from are gonna defeat the time tribe once and for all

the kids (and at this point, hopefully the reader too) are the wrong kind of genre savvy, and believe they’ve been approached by gandalf or some shit, and each end up Accepting The Call

(meanwhile back at the time tribe, the king and his rebellious teenage son talk about the future of the time tribe. teenage son, midnight (heyy GUESS what hour hes able to use his powers) learns to use Time Powers that are suspiciously dissimilar to the ones ebon was talking abt the ppl from the time tribe being able to use. midnight uses his powers to get more sleep bc his dad kinda overworks the shit out of him bc like the future of this horrifically unstable and tiny city is in midnight’s hands, basically, and we learn that Its Dangerous bc if u get stuck slowing down/speeding up time after ur 1 hour is up u basically become Time Tobias and ur trapped like that Until You Die)

if uve made it this far i think its time for a proper introduction to the 6 protags of part 1 (another is added in part 2 but we’re not there yet)

-eagle, from the sky tribe, a Massive Fuckin Jock Who Loves To Sport. shes 14 and pretty athletic but tends to chicken out when shit gets tough and so never makes it to the Fly Sport Playoffs. shes a Massive Optimist at first but then she finds her parents dead (hint: it was ebon). she deals with this throughout the novel i hope im writing her well lmao because i wanted it to have a Legit Impact on her character and not just be angst. A N Y W A Y she instantly pegs ash and emerald as The Rich Kids (ash is legit a rich kid, emerald is just from the riches tribe where they traditionally sew gems and shit into their clothes) and judges em for it

-snake, from the land tribe, a 13yo, Lonely Autistic who loves reptiles. (ok i mean. this is high fantasy and im really not sure if autism is a diagnosis in high fantasy. ive done my absolute best to code her as autistic and she is in fact autistic i just dont say it in canon bc idk how to bring it up) ppl dont like her at first because she comes across as cold but actually shes like the most adorable fuckin dork youve ever seen shes great. she doesnt talk hardly at all unless shes Super Comfortable around the people shes with, which is a challenge for me to write but tbqh shes my absolute favorite of the bunch,, also her only friend ever was a thief named lore who was (supposedly) killed by GUESS FUCKEN WHO

-ash, the 14yo daughter of one of the 4 ruling families of the elements tribe. her family’s genetic power is fire but she could never figure it out (later she discovers her power is actually water; im…..still figuring out how that works genetically she might just be adopted lmao) ebon brought her the news of her parents’ deaths and managed to kill her little sister while her back was turned; somehow she does not suspect him. shes kind of a snob and doesnt really /get/ the rest of the group and comes across pretty rude at first. (also, she and eagle deal w their very recent grief very differently but idk her exact Grief Arc yet)

-emerald, who i think is? 12? 13? i cant remember but somewhere around there; shes from the riches tribe, was orphaned as a toddler and raised by supposedly extinct desert dragons (which are basically 12-20ft desert iguanas), which were all wiped out horribly by more of ebon’s shit space weapons. she lived with ash’s family for a while when they were years younger but eventually emerald got blamed for ash’s lack of control over fire and was forced to leave, she found the riches tribe and discovered that she could metalbend emeralds lmao. shes a storyteller and raises money for orphans now i guess

-shark, a scrappy homeless 10yo from the sea tribe who will steal anything shiny enough. he has pointy teeth and an eyepatch (which covers a golden sphere in place of his eye) and hes reckless as fuKC. he was too young to remember his parents but when questioned about it he remembers blue knives (GUESS WHO). hes pretty unaware that sharks are infact chaotic neutral sea predators who do not give a shit about him even if he can communicate with them and he starts the novel with a Pretty Serious Bite Injury™. he takes a lot of shit apart and puts it back together in horrifying ways. yknow sid from toy story? basically thats shark if sid lived underwater and was portrayed as a fundamentally good person

-midnight, the 16yo prince of the time tribe, a Rebellious Teen™ who doesnt want responsibility and has Horrible Insomnia. he thinks his dad is Evil And Controlling and probably listens to heavy metal behind his back (meanwhile his dad is actually pretty decent just busy as Fuck trying to keep the time tribe from accidentally inbreeding collapsing and trying to show midnight how to lead; hes overprotective but not evil). he broke a pattern of various people born at midnight/noon alternating every century and people think hes Destined For Greatness™ or some shit; he is having absolutely none of that will someone let this child sleep instead of waking him up in the middle of the night to practice magic

anyway yea thats p much all ive edited so far and tbqh i dont remember a whole lot of details but That Is My Book!

#novel: foi

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