#you see i am very much a romantic & i am weak to. personally i am weak for letters. that's one thing

[zayneslady]

summary: it's been a while since the last time you saw him, but you missed him so terribly.

warnings: angst/comfort. Happy endings for the win *sobs* Pt. 2 of these scenarios

characters: Zayne, Rafayel, Xavier x reader (separately)

a/n: I wanted to apologize. I got some comments saying that perhaps I wrote them a bit too ooc and that they wouldn't do something like this, so I was thinking maybe I should step out from writing these; I'm probably not understanding the characters very well. I'm really sorry! I had this one written already, so this is probably going to be the last post I make! Thank you for your support! In only a couple of days you guys were so amazing and loving, I'm super moved and I don't deserve you all at all ❤️

classification: scenarios

tag list: many of you asked me to tag you in the second part, I hope you guys like it! 💕

@biitchyberry @rosaryia @lcheerymotion @mo0nforme

ZAYNE ❄️

It's been four weeks since your argument with Zayne. The first days had been like hell. You had already tasted the honey of a relationship with the person you liked the most and loved the most. You wanted more of him, you needed more. You felt anxious without him, like you had become addicted to his kisses, his gentle touch, and the sweet words he whispered in your ears. You missed him more than you dared to admit.

The days passed slowly, each second seemed to last an eternity. When you got home you felt the emptiness of his presence and you felt like dying, but life continued on, and eventually you got used to being without him. The pain was still present, but more bearable as time kept its course. 

You had stopped frequenting the places you knew he liked for fear of running into him. The dessert shop, the cafe near the hospital, the night stands near the library. You even avoided getting sick so you wouldn't have to go to the hospital. Your life was limited to going to work and coming straight home, with occasional visits to buy groceries. 

You would never have thought that you would have to live a life again without Zayne and only because he didn't know how to separate his friendships from his romantic partner. So smart, but so stupid at the same time. 

You sighed, returning to the present and the food you were making; it was too late when you realized it, but unconsciously you were making one of his favorite dishes. You weren't going to waste the food, so you just carried on trying not to think much about it. 

“Now, where did I put–,” you stopped, surprised by the sudden knocking on your door. You frowned, you were not expecting anyone, but the knocking continued once more and you sighed, turned off the stove. “I'm coming.”

You regretted opening the door. Opening just a crack to see who it was, your heart fluttered in your chest as if there was a small caged bird inside it. Zayne was standing in front of you. He looked ridiculously tired, more than you'd ever seen him. The bags and dark circles under his eyes were deep, his skin did not look radiant and healthy as always and his eyes did not shine like emeralds. 

Your hands were sweating and your insides were churning. "Are you okay?" You asked with a broken voice. Zayne shook his head and he fainted, but with a gasp, you quickly wrapped an arm around his waist and tried to keep him upright. “Zayne! Hey, what's happening?” 

Zayne didn't answer you, and just leaned on you. Not knowing what to do, you dragged him inside and carefully guided him to your room. Once there, you laid him down on your bed, he looked weak. 

“Zayne? Can you hear me? Are you okay?” 

He mumbled your name and your heart raced. “I'm… I am sorry,” he said as he finally passed out. You gasped, but soon heard the soft snores you were so used to. 

Was he that exhausted? And what was he doing at your house? You frowned, fighting back the stinging sensation in your eyes as you tried to hold back some tears. He really always appeared to stir everything inside you. You had already accepted your life without him, but here he was. You sighed heavily, taking off Zayne's shoes and covering him with a blanket.

Your eyes couldn't help but admire him. Even though he was tired, he still looked as handsome as ever. It seemed like a dream, an illusion that would disappear at any moment. You wanted it to happen. You wanted him to disappear, but at the same time, you wanted to take him in your arms and kiss his face. But no, clearing your throat, you grabbed an extra blanket and left the room, closing the door behind you. It was better to let him rest so he could leave as soon as he got up. 

The next morning you woke up to soft steps. Sitting up and whining a little after sleeping on the couch, you saw Zayne coming out from your bedroom. His hair was messy and he was rubbing one of his eyes like a little child, something warm spread across your chest and a smile tried to spread your lips, but you stopped it. He seemed more rested, the bags under his eyes had diminished considerably and his skin looked a little more alive. 

“Zayne.”

He seemed a bit startled as he looked at you with slightly wide eyes. “Hello… I am sorry I fell asleep.” 

You hummed, folding the blanket. “Haven't you been sleeping well?" You didn't want to sound worried, but you were. 

“I haven't… I constantly have nightmares and I've been working over time… a lot more."

“Why?”

“Because I can't stop thinking about you,” he said and despair filled his eyes. “You have no idea how much I've missed you. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I have been working nonstop so I can have my mind occupied, but you're always there, in the back of my head.” 

Don't cry. Don't cry! 

“And what exactly do you want me to do about it, Zayne?” You said coldly, wanting to get over with this. 

Zayne approached you and you couldn't move as he took your hands. “Please, please. Give me another chance. I swear. I swear in my life that I do not have feelings for her. I just… I was just stupid and took you for granted. Please, my love, please.”

Tears began to well up in your eyes and you cried even harder as Zayne grabbed your face. "N-No, don't touch me.”

“Please. How can I show you I truly want you? Do you want me to stop talking to her? I'll do it. I'll do it, so please. Just… please. I can't live without you.” His words sounded sincere.

His eyes were glassy and the pain on his face was evident, but your heart still hurt. How did you know that he really wouldn't leave you as a second option anymore? You couldn't even tell him to stop talking to Miss Hunter, you knew this was just Zayne's fault. 

“Zayne… Zayne you're hurting me so much.”

“I know. I know I am and I am terribly sorry for this. I love you. I truly love you.” 

You also loved him, so much. 

“... If this ever happens again, Zayne… I won't forgive you another time. Remember that.”

His green eyes shone with happiness as he pulled you into a tight hug. You hugged him back, the tips of your fingers tingling as you felt his warmth, the tip of your nose digging into the crook of his neck, you breathed deeply, enjoying his scent. 

“You're on trial, Zayne.”

Zayne chuckled and he nodded. “Yes. You won't regret me, I promise you.”

RAFAYEL 🐠

Life was boring without him. He was the spark and the spice in your days. With him, every day seemed like a small adventure, but now that you no longer saw him, the days seemed dark and lifeless. You didn't even remember how much time had passed since that day. One week? Three days? Two months? You weren't sure and, honestly, you tried not to think about it too much because, even though you missed him, the pang of pain in your heart almost made you gasp for air every single time you recalled every moment with him. It was almost as if his bodyguard had also been there, on every date with Rafayel, for all of your conversations were about her. 

He was full of praise for her. He named each of her virtues and laughed affectionately at her defects. He didn't accept anyone claiming that they were better than her or stronger, because his precious bodyguard was the strongest and the bestest. Just thinking about it made you feel tears filling your eyes. You didn't want to remember any of it, but as you held your phone with your thumb hovering over the dial button, you couldn't stop thinking about how miserable Rafayel made you feel, even when he also made you feel like the most loved person in the world. 

When he didn't have his mouth full of his wonderful bodyguard, Rafayel showered you with affection. His kisses, his hugs, and his caresses all felt full of love and tenderness. His beautiful eyes looked at you sweetly, as if you were the most precious thing that ever existed on earth. He liked to tease you and make you laugh and he always said that you were like a muse for all his paintings: The sparkle in your eyes, the color of your hair, the texture of your skin, the curves of your body, everything was inspiration.

How could he be so cruel and loving all at the same time? Poor bodyguard, you even didn't like her although she hadn't done anything wrong, as far as you knew. 

Sighing, you finally tapped on the green button and your heart raced faster and faster at every beep coming from the other side of the line. Would he answer you? Was he… with her? Was he busy with one of his paintings? What if- 

His voice calling your name surprised you, making you jump. “I’m here! Hi!” he sounded out of breath and your cheeks blushed. “Hmm, h-how are you d-doing?” 

“Rafayel…,” you took a deep breath. “I… have some clothes at your place. Could I stop by later to get them?” 

“YES! I… I mean… yes. I'll- I'll be here all day. You can stop by at any time you want.”

“... Right. Then, see you there, Rafayel.” 

You let out a long sigh after hanging up. You had forgotten how wonderful his voice was and the way he pronounced your name. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. You were going to see him, you were really going to come again, but you shouldn't be excited. What if he and his bodyguard were dating? The thought made your stomach twist and you decided it was best to leave immediately. The quicker you finish this, the better. 

As always, the door was open, but you didn't immediately enter, your hands were shaking and your heart was racing against your ribcage. You didn't want to see him.

Taking a deep breath, you gently pushed the door open and you were greeted with that aroma that you had missed so much. The smell of acrylic paint, the sea and Rafayel's scent. You couldn't help but take a long breath- this exquisite smell felt like home. Your eyes watered a little, but you tried to stay calm as you walked deeper into the spacious house.

“R-Rafayel? Are you here? "You heard a gasp from the room and in a second, Rafayel appeared in front of you. Ah, he looked as wonderful and beautiful as always. His gorgeous eyes were wide, looking you up and down as his mouth stretched into a shy smile. You wanted to hug him. “The door… was open so I just- I'm sorry.”

“No! That's okay! I… I left it open for you!” 

You nodded. “I see… do you mind if I just…”

“No, go ahead, please.” You excuse yourself as you made your way to his room, as you passed by him you felt your legs tremble and you gasped in surprise when he suddenly took your hand.

“Rafayel, what-

“Please, forgive me,” he begged, his eyebrows furrowed in a painful expression. “I was absolutely wrong, you were so right. I was stupid and careless and hurt you so badly.”

“Rafayel… I just came for my clothing, let me g-

“Please!” He hugged you and you went stiff. “Please, please,” he sobbed in your ear. 

“Are you crying?” 

He nodded. “I can't live another second without you. I can't paint anymore. I feel like a piece of me has been taken away, I live half and barely. I really, really do not have feelings for my bodyguard. You're the only one I can think about.”

“Then why- 

“I just… I was just stupid, I didn't mean anything to hurt you, I swear! When I said I missed her, what I wanted to say is that I wanted to train with her, I would never make you train, that's too dangerous,” he started to explain in a rush. “When I told you about the candies, it's because she gave me some amazing chocolate I wanted to gift you and then-

“Rafayel-

“Please. Just this once, I swear,” he said, finally showing his reddened face, tears streaming down his face. You gulped, reaching up to clean his tears away and he whined. “I wasn't there to wipe your tears, I am so sorry.” 

That made you burst into tears. That's right, you really wanted him to wipe your tears. He gently cupped your cheeks and his thumbs brushed against your cheeks, catching all of those tears falling from your pretty eyes. 

“You can break up with me if I do something like that again! But please… just this once. I love you so much. I really do.” 

You looked at him, His eyes were still wet and some tears were still falling down his cheeks. Maybe…

“Just this once, Rafayel… I won't forgive anything like this ever again.” He beamed and leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss, but you covered his mouth, frowning slightly. “I'm still mad at you.”

He blinked and gently smiled behind your hand before taking it in his. “Of course, I'll prove myself to you, beautiful creation.” 

XAVIER ⭐

You couldn't sleep. It's been two weeks since you last slept properly. Two weeks ago you were in Xavier's arms and he held you lovingly, whispering words of comfort in your ears. You weren't sure why, but being around Xavier always made you feel relaxed, a little sleepy, but never bored. You loved spending lazy times with him, taking naps and frolicking in bed, giggling like fools and giving each other soft, tender kisses. 

With his warmth and love it was not difficult to fall asleep at night, he always wanted to sleep so that tranquility that emanated from him was enough to relax you and make you sleep throughout the whole night. In the mornings you felt rejuvenated and full of life and seeing his sleepy smile was like living in a dream. 

You felt your bottom lip quiver into a pout. You missed him too much. You never thought he would behave that way. Had you never really been important to him? If he wanted to be with his partner so much, why had he even agreed to go out with you in the first place? 

“Agh! I hate you Xavier!” You cried, banging your fists against the table in your kitchen. “Why did you let me fall in love with you?” Maybe you really had gone crazy, talking to the table like that. 

There was no time for this. It was almost dark and you still needed to go buy some groceries for your dinner. You struggled out of your house, so tired and dragging your feet. You wanted to sleep... with Xavier. You wanted to feel his warmth. But... what if he now wrapped his partner in his arms? Your cheeks turned red and, trying to avoid thinking about it, you hurried to catch the bus. 

You found a seat near the door and next to a young man, there weren't as many people as you imagined and as the bus started to go you felt your eyes heavy. Maybe... you could sleep for a few minutes? The store wasn't far away, so just a few minutes... just a couple of minutes… 

You heard your name being called between clouds. From far away. Over and over and over. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. 

“Hmm?” You opened your eyes and gasped, How long had it been?! Where were you? And... why was your head...? Had you fallen asleep on someone's shoulder?! "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" You said, raising your head only to find that the young man next to you... "Xavier?!" 

The hunter blinked, his eyes avoided yours for a second before looking directly at you and nodding a small greeting. Had he been there next to you the whole time? You could barely notice what was happening around you with how tired you were, but, strangely, you felt very good. It seemed like he really was the cure for all your ills. You chuckled softly, shaking your head. Xavier looked at you confused, tilting his head to the side like a little bird. 

“I'm sorry, Xavier. I didn't know you were there,” you jumped, “but wait, where are we?!” Checking outside the window, you could tell you were far away from the store now. 

“We're almost at my place,” he said gently and the alarms in your head set off. His partner... didn't she live in the apartment below?! Oh no. Before, you had no problem staying at Xavier's house, but... if they were really in a relationship…

“I gotta go,” you said, seeing the next bus station. It was already dark outside.

“Where are you going?” Xavier asked and you frowned.

“What do you mean? Back home. I only wanted to go to the store, but I fell asleep as you could see… Now it's even dark. Thankfully it's not raining,” you were babbling to yourself as you waited to arrive at the next stop, when you finally did, you got up. “Sorry about that, Xavier. Goodnight.” 

"Now... The next bus…," you mumbled checking the bus's schedule. "10 minutes? Lucky~"

“I'll go with you.” 

You couldn't help but squeal and jump when you heard his voice right behind you. Turning around, you saw him standing there, as tall as he was and as bright as the stars. 

“I'll take you home. It's dark. Something could happen.”

You rolled your eyes. "What could happen, I'm only going home.” 

“Some witnesses have seen wanderers in the area. I can't let you go alone." 

You sat on the bench, arms crossed, Xavier sitting next to you. "Ah, that's true. I'm not strong like your... Forget it." Your cheeks turned red. Very well! Keep opening your big mouth! Xavier didn't say anything, but you could feel his gaze on you and the blush on your cheeks traveled to the tips of your ears. 

Silence reigned between you. You could feel him, his warmth, he was so close to you, you could reach out and touch his knee. Your eyes felt heavy, you wanted to hug him. 

“I am sorry,” he suddenly said and you thought you imagined it but then he repeated it. “I am sorry for what I said the other day.” You turned to look at him and flinched when he saw his bright eyes looking sad and red. “I don't know what I was thinking. Talking like that in front of my girlfriend. Acting like I didn't want to have been there with you, but you're the only person I want close to me. I don't like nor have feelings for my coworker, I only want and need you.” 

He gently wiped a tear from your rosy cheek, his touch was electrifying. 

“You haven't been sleeping well.” You didn't answer, but he continued. “I haven't been able to sleep either. I keep recalling that day and seeing your crying face, I can't stand it… please forgive me.” 

He took your hands and you finally looked up at him, your eyes widening as you saw a small tear fall down his cheek. 

“I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I still beg you, I beg you to give me another chance. I promise I'll do better. Something like this will never happen again. I was an idiot." 

You frowned, “you were an idiot. Do you have any idea how you made me feel? It's hard to believe you love me.” 

He nodded, listening to you carefully. “I know it's hard to believe, but please let me prove it to you, let me show you how much I love you, please. I can't be without you anymore, my star. I need you, otherwise I'll go crazy. Please.” 

You sobbed and Xavier gently pulled you close to him. Wrapping you between his warm arms. You tried to pull away, but he didn't let you and soon you melted in his embrace, crying into his work clothes. 

“Please, give me another chance.” 

You nodded softly. Just one more chance. “There's not gonna be a second time,” you warned between sobs and he chuckled, kissing the top of your head. 

“I won't need them. I will treasure you as the most valuable thing that you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” 

#love and deepspace #love & deepspace #love & deepsace x reader #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace rafayel #zayne x reader #rafayel x reader #xavier x reader #zayneslady #*scenarios

[missmugiwara]

What A Relief

Summary: fem!reader x Sanji // You convince Sanji to have a friends-with-benefits relationship with you, but it's not like you want to actually date him, right? Right? Warning: 18+, NSFW, smut, unprotected sex, implied sex, very suggestive, friends-with-benefits thing going on Note: I am weak for Sanji! Please enjoy!

It was so stupid.

You knew there was indeed a possibility that this could happen, but you still went ahead and did it. You got too presumptuous. Too confident. You flew too close to the sun. And then you got burned.

But how did it all start?

If you reflected back on it, you weren't entirely sure yourself. It was surprising especially in the way that everything had just blurred together. To put it into filthy words, Sanji became the answer to your booty calls. Okay, well… if you put it more eloquently, you somehow had managed to develop some sort of friends-with-benefits relationship with none other than the cook himself. If you put it even more simply, Sanji became a weekly event - as in, the person whom you could have sex with without any strings attached.

A while back, you set out to sea with the Straw Hat Pirates. They were a wonderful group of friends - they protected you, made treasurable memories with you, and truly accepted you for who you were. You had no complaints whatsoever. As of late, you were becoming a bit bored. A bit needy. Needy in the ways that required a certain relief in the form of pleasure. The thought of having a romantic relationship crossed your mind once or twice, but being a pirate and constantly moving about meant there was no room for that. You accepted that wholeheartedly, but could you somehow attain the romance you sought out?

So a crazy idea crossed your mind.

Could you get one of these fine Straw Hat men into bed? You flustered at the thought of it, and you could tell it was a wild idea when you felt hot and checked the nearest mirror to see your ridiculous expression. How about Luffy? No, he was your captain! He saved your butt on your hometown of Dressrosa. That would have felt too awkward. Then Zoro? Hm, well, he definitely seemed like the kind of guy who wouldn't mind doing that and could keep it a secret… but you were too damn nervous to insinuate such an idea to him without feeling utterly humiliated. Franky? He seemed the most mature - wait. Never mind. Him, Luffy, and Zoro were definitely not mature. Usopp, then? No, an instant no. He still struggled to be brave time to time. How could he possibly not chicken out if you asked him?

Hmm.

What about Sanji?

He was so sweet. A good friend. Very good-looking. You never felt embarrassed in front of him. He would treat you so well, and he already did. Plus, he always made goo goo eyes at Nami, Robin, and literally any other woman. It was perfect. Knowing this, he wouldn't get attached to you, and you wouldn't get attached to him… because that's not what you were looking for, right? Exactly!

So when you finally mustered up the courage to ask Sanji, he really was shocked. You stayed behind one evening to help him clean up dishes after dinner. When everyone left you two to complete your chores, that's when you asked. Naturally, you were nervous, face on fire, and averting his gaze. There was a range of emotions mostly on Sanji's part. His jaw dropped. Then after a few seconds (when you were afraid you had broke him), he had launched himself across the room due to the sheer force of a nosebleed. After tending to this nosebleed and him sputtering over and over how he really did not deserve you - the goddess, the angel, etc. - he agreed.

"Oh, I know I'm asking for a lot… but, I would really love if it were you. I trust you so much."

It was kind of cute in the way his eyes sparkled at your words, and a blush fluttered over his cheeks while he had tissues sticking out of his bloody nostrils. To be honest, you wouldn't have had it any other way. It was quite comical. It took a moment longer for him to respond. You gently smiled and held him in your arms as he laid on the floor after his great lift-off.

Finally, Sanji sat himself up. Grabbing your hand, he said, "I am honored, my sweet, and I promise to make you feel like an absolute queen."

Those words were enough to send your heart racing. Sanji was the best. As you two sat there on the floor of the kitchen, faces flustered and having Sanji's head in your lap - you had reminded yourself again that this was simply fun between two friends. That's it. No romance.

You already knew Sanji was a man of his word, but he sure delivered. The first night together was akin to something out of a romance novel, and it was absolute bliss. Sanji removed your clothes slowly and gently, never allowing a single wrinkle to form as he laid them down. He always asked for permission before he did anything, and he always reminded you that if you changed your mind then you could stop at any time. He truly was a gentleman and kept his promise through and through. He whispered soft, sultry things into your ears. When he got more cocky, he'd whisper more sensuous things - things like how he was going to make you sing, make you moan, make you sigh out his name. And every time he did get you to moan, he'd whisper how your noises brought him to heaven. Your heart beat against your ribcage as if it was trying to break free, but you kept ignoring it because all you could focus on was just being his friend.

However, it was such a sweet, addicting high.

His touch was sensual and soft on your skin, the way his hands held you gently as if you were made from glass. Years in the kitchen must have been why his expert hands were so graceful when they roamed, and when they roamed to more inmate areas on your body, you would let out a gentle gasp against his mouth. You had never been held the way Sanji held you.

Kisses were sweet and never done without feeling. They could have brought you to your knees if you already weren't rolling around in bed. Sanji's mouth tasted like cigarettes, but you could care less as the delicious noises of your lips smacking whenever they met or parted took over your brain. Such sweet, velvety kisses were exchanged all night long between pants, between moans, between soft words you and Sanji murmured to each other, between thrusts of Sanji's hips. That incredible high wreaked havoc in your brain when Sanji thrusted over and over into your hips. Your toes curled, you wrapped your arms tightly around him and dug your nails into his back. You begged for him to go faster and harder, but in response you only got a low chuckle from the cook that embarrassed you and exhilirated you deeply.

"I couldn't," he smirked against your skin, "I don't want to be rough and hurt you."

You grit your teeth, taking a moment to wipe the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand. You let out a low growl as your hand grabbed his hair. This teasing from Sanji was so unexpected - you didn't know there was this side of him.

"Please!" you breathed out, "Just… for me? Please!" you whined.

"Well, who am I to deny such a lady's request?"

Sanji seemed to really enjoy your whining because with that, he catered to your whim and every one after that. He was such a great listener. Sanji continued on and on until you had reached your final high of that evening and climaxed. The room spun, your body feeling hot and heavy. The two of you collapsed onto the bed in the girls' room, taking a few moments of peaceful silence to catch your breaths until you both had relaxed a bit more. You were incredibly thankful your crewmates had gone into town and left you and Sanji to guard the ship alone because you two had laid for a long time in bed after that. Just talking about your dreams, about life, anything really. It felt like hours, and in actuality it really was.

When you finally told Sanji you wanted to get dressed, he got up before you could even fling the sheets over your body. With a wave of his hand, he promptly stated he would make you a pot of tea. He got dressed and then was out the door. You waited until he was completely out of the room before your smile faded into a frown.

So stupid.

You should have known you were going to fall hard for the cook. This kept up for some time. Once a week turned into a couple times a week and then several times a week. You and Sanji kept it secret pretty well. It was something to look forward to as hard as it was to find the privacy. Soon, these little flirty instances were beginning to appear - like a secret signal. You'd sneak past Sanji to cup your hand to his ass to give him a hint you were hungry. He would smirk at you more often.

But hold on - what in the world was wrong with you?

The plan was not to become romantically attached. And the exact opposite of that was happening! You were head over heels. Sanji made you feel so special, and he geninely enjoyed the time spent with you. You were learning all sorts of things about each other and forming a closer bond.

You know what was even more stupid? You literally could not act like a normal person in front of Sanji anymore. Sometimes you dodged him and walked the other way if you ran into him, which was quite often as you were stuck on a ship for most of the time. Your confident vixen attitude was shaken - you couldn't dare touch his cute butt again. You would avoid his gaze. When he passed you a plate at dinner and your fingers accidentally brushed, you would mentally scream in your mind. It took all the strength not to fall apart.

Oh, but why was this happening?!

What were you afraid of? Being emotionally hurt? Afraid of how much of a ladies man he was if you wanted to start a relationship? You could tell Sanji was becoming concerned because you asked for him less and less until it just stopped one day. Everyone could tell you weren't acting normal as you would coop yourself up in the girls room - denying Luffy if he asked you to come play, taking your meals by yourself amongst other little things. Everyone came to check on you. Even Chopper was the most concerned, thinking you were sick. And Chopper was right, but it was lovesickness, and there was nothing he could do to help. It took everything to shoo everyone away.

Oh, but that Robin - who was too smart for her own good sometimes - had finally found you sneaking off to the kitchen one night for a late snack. She could not have been sleeping if she noticed you left the room and then somehow notify Sanji. It wasn't a surprise that she knew. Initially you would have been mortified, but if it had to be Robin then you felt at ease.

So you were digging around in the fridge, not even noticing Sanji entered the room until he called your name. This caused you to flinch and, in attempts to stand up suddenly, you hit your head on the nearest shelf in the fridge. Promplty, you slammed the door shut and gave him a forced grin. Sanji was no fool though. As you reluctantly greeted him and made a mad dash for the door, he swiftly stepped over to block it as you bumped headfirst into him. Sanji looped one arm around your waist as the other caught your wrist when you pressed your arms up to his chest to push him off.

You could feel your face heating up and your heart thundering in your ears. For a few seconds, you both stood there in awkward sielnce, waiting for somebody to do something.

"Are you… avoiding me?"

Sanji wasted no time in getting to the point. You didn't like how he asked that question - he sounded so hurt. Your lips trembled, and you felt so damn frustrated that you could cry then and there. You never wanted to hurt him! But it's not like you had anywhere special to go, so… you realized you probably should explain yourself.

"Yes." you answered quietly.

Sanji let out a deep sigh, and he moved so that he could grab both your arms. Gently, he pulled you away from him to stare into your eyes. He gasped when he saw you actually were crying. You sniffled and frowned at him, brows furrowed together in dismay as you waited for him to speak. It was as if he instantly knew. As soon as Sanji spoke, he was referring to the current status of your relationship.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you, my angel?"

"No!" you responded immediately, "No… you've been perfect. I just…" Sanji leaned forward, using his finger to gently wipe the tears collecting at your lower eyelid. It was cheesy, it was cute, it was freaking great! You grabbed his hand and turned your head from him.

"This!" you squeezed his hand, "This… stuff you do. I can't keep lying to myself anymore."

Were you making sense? It was all garbled. You finally let go of Sanji's hand, only to have him move his hands to the base of where your jaw met your neck. He tilted your head upwards to look at him. You knew you were making no sense, but Sanji stayed calm and cool.

"What do you mean? You know you can tell me anything."

You let out a sigh, mustering up the courage to look him straight in the eye.

"Look, I really, really like you. I said no strings attached… but I changed my mind. I want more. I want us to go on a date. I want us to actually be together."

With that you snapped your eyes shut, fearing of how he might respond. Would he be okay with that? This man who craved any woman? You waited for what seemed like an eternity, but when you felt his hand cup the side of your face and motion you to look up at him… you realized there was such a look in his eyes that was indescribable.

"I would love nothing more than to be yours."

A smile lit up your tear-stricken face as you clapped your hands over his - still gently caressing your face, "Really?"

Sanji gently pulled your face closer, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Really."

There was a pause.

"What a relief!"

And Sanji gasped when you suddenly grabbed the back of his head to smash your lips against his. He melted into the kiss, but when you released him after a few seconds - he had the biggest grin. You just stared at him so sweetly, brushing a strand of his golden locks from his face as he stood in awe like a lovesick fool.

"So… can we…? You know? I mean, unless you don't want to!"

You stroked his cheek with your thumb and let out a sigh after a roll of your eyes. Oh, Sanji - the poor thing. You had him on a leash, and he worshipped the ground you walked on. As you gently grabbed his hand and led him to the door, you smirked.

"You're lucky I like you so much."

#one piece fanfiction #op x reader #sanji x you #sanji x y/n #sanji x reader #op fanfic #one piece x reader #mugi writes

[e-flo]

things i am weak to include:

sanji has always been a romantic, and as a young lad he read stories about princes marrying princesses and knights proposing to maidens. he always wanted to have that moment, to dazzle someone with his offer of marriage.

since he got with zoro, a few of his childhood dreams have shifted.

he gave up on a fancy, rose-petaled proposal, knowing zoro wouldn't appreciate receiving such a thing, and decided to just be happy with his relationship as it was. it did make him very happy, no sense in worrying about trivialities.

zoro, however, knew exactly what he was getting into when he started dating sanji. he's always been a goal-oriented person, he knew sanji was going to be it for him if they clicked. so zoro, knowing the importance of a dream and how much of a romantic sanji is, decides to give him his dream proposal. or at least, his closest version of it.

zoro steals the rose petals, barters for brook's candles, yoinks one of sanji's nice table cloths, and demands the cook make them a picnic. luffy keeps him on his toes enough that he doesn't have time to question the request, and before long they're walking along the shore of the spring island they've landed on.

they set everything up on the sandy beach. sanji is enjoying the moon on the horizon, wine in his right hand, and zoro's in his left. and then he feels something on his finger. he glances down to see a golden band of three braided strands on his finger.

when he looks up, his hand is still in zoro's, but the man is kneeling, his boots making a mess of his nice cloth. "marry me." zoro says, not one for excess words where they aren't necessary. "captain said he'll do it, but i need you to agree first."

"you're such an idiot" sanji says, his hand gripping zoro's fingers. he sets down his wine and crushes petals under his knees as he pulls zoro in. the moon's reflection catches on the ring and he feels like his heart is about to burst. "you owe me a new tablecloth"

"whatever. it was for a good cause," zoro smiles, wide and boyish like he hasn't seen in so long. "and i'm taking that as a Yes by the way. no take backs."

and sanji laughs because even though he's obtuse, no one can read him quite like zoro can. no one would give him his stupid, romantic little proposal on a ruined tablecloth on a windy beach. it's everything and nothing like what he dreamed of, and it's perfect all the same.

#oops i wrote a vingette out of a headcanon #i am Always doing this shit #zosan #zoro/sanji #e-floetry #fic writing

[neurosharky]

ASPD: The Desire for and Run from Intimacy

This post will only contain my personal opinion and experience. It may not be applicable to all other people with ASPD and may likewise be relatable to people who do not have it.

I am only going to be talking about emotional intimacy, but this post is definitely also applicable to the other type of intimacy!

I'll make myself pretty vulnerable in this post, by discussing my personal experience, so you better not make me regret that!

Abbreviations:

ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder

ASPD is a disability caused by prolonged childhood trauma (with many possible variations), that develops in order to protect the brain from said trauma, or rather to help the brain deal with it in some way!

While the consequences of this in the context of intimacy, look different for every person with ASPD, many do report: a difficulty with developing bonds, having problems trusting people & giving away control, losing feelings for people quickly and abruptly/getting "bored" of people, responding extremely to arguments, having problems dealing with peoples emotions/ problems with being close to people etc.

This may be due to a variety of factors, but does often tie back to having no or few positive experiences with intimacy, having not learned how to exist in relationships properly/a lack of being socialized, not having the necessary prosocial emotions and mechanisms to deal with it and other similar things.

While this causes some people with ASPD to develop a brain, that does not have a need for emotional intimacy at all, others develop a brain, that craves the emotional intimacy it has been denied, but which will also fight said intimacy at every turn.

Thats as much generalized info as I can give you, as the exact representation of this is highly individual, but I will offer my personal experience on the following slides!

What you need to know is that I was accidentally neglected for huge parts of my childhood and teens and did not get my emotional and social needs met most of the time, while also knowing that my parents were theoretically capable of that, as they were giving everything I lacked to my sibling.

This caused me to grow up with a burning desire for intimacy, while being disappointed by people time and time again, failing to actually develop the things needed to experience this intimacy and partially growing to resent it and viewing it as "weak" and "bad".

Ever since then I have been stuck in what I like to call the "ASPD stages of running". Theres different points in getting close to people (in any nature of a relationship), that'll send me running and feeling like I am "weak" for wanting it, or as if being close to people is the worst thing that could happen.

The stages (simply put) are:

1. Desiring/Daydreaming about my dream relationship

2. Looking at peoples relationships/Looking at people with the intent of getting closer to them

3. Talking to people (online or irl)

4. Getting closer / being friends with people

5. Being friends with people for longer

Optionally:

6. Getting so close that a romantic relationship may happen

7. The moment of getting in the relationship / the days after

8. Being in the relationship for a bit

At any of those stages, I'll very likely have one or multiple moments where my ASPD will try to get the better of me and will try to convince me to just run away, drop contact and never talk about it again. Even just admitting to this and talking about it is hard as fuck, because it is so deeply ingrained in my brain to see emotional intimacy as a weak and dangerous thing.

What this will look like exactly really depends on the person and situation, but things that have happened in the past were:

• blocking the person and everyone I am friends with and pretending I am no longer alive

• my brain fixating on their faults in order to give me a good reason to hate them so I don't get closer to them and can hold them at arms length

• responding less often/more dryly or ignoring messages entirely

• not replicating the energy of the conversation/relationship

• staging an incident so I ruin the relationship

• running at the first signs of a disagreement

• avoiding people when they are emotional

• feeling uncomfortable around people as a whole => isolating

• beating myself up about letting it happen again

• impulsively bumping the relationship to another stage, just to immediately regret it (in a "fuck that has consequences" way)

• shutting off all my emotions, dissociate or otherwise make sure to stop the feelings (or just lose them automatically)

To put it in a shorter and more simple way, I'll usually either get the fuck outta there, or make sure to change the relationship/my personal position in the relationship to a more comfortable and less vulnerable and intimate level. This may also just look like me shutting off, becoming distant, or seeming mad, when all I am is overwhelmed by the intimacy and grossed out that I actually need and desire that.

As you can possibly imagine, that is not the most useful thing, as it causes issues in relationships, cuts friendships short and makes dealing with people a lot harder!

The most frustrating thing about this for me though is, that even if the most perfect friend or partner came along and even if the relationship would work at first, I am very very likely to crash it against the wall, simply because my brain cannot handle having the things, that it needs and desires.

It desires a hug and runs from the one who offers it.

It needs help and bites the hand that does.

It needs love and gets grossed out by whoever offers it.

It wants attention and can't handle it when it gets it.

It wants gifts, but doesnt know what to do when it gets them.

Whatever it wants, it can't have, so it keeps wanting, keeps yearning, keeps desiring and has to watch itself be unable to accept any of it.

And if that sounds painful, thats because it is.

Its a vicious kind of pain when you have to watch yourself ruin yet another thing, because your brain can't handle it, while you scream at it in frustration to get its act together, because it also is everything you desperately need.

ASPD sucks when it comes to intimacy and it especially sucks when it comes to talking about it, or being honest about these problems. It developed to protect me from being too "weak" to deal with the trauma and now its practically preventing me from showing any "weakness" or seeking out what previously hurt me. Which wouldn't be this bad, if I didn't still have this kid in me that just wants to be loved and daydreams about all the things, the ASPD hates.

When your shell disagrees with your core and you're not strong enough yet to break your shell, what does that really leave you with, other than curling up into a spiky ball and letting the shell do its job? I know I still need the protection, but I wish it wasn't actively preventing me from learning to live without it.

First posted on my instagram (same @)

#actually aspd #aspd #mental health education #antisocial personality disorder #mental health #antisocial #aspd awareness #aspd feels #aspd thoughts #aspd things #aspd mood #intimacy

[mack-devereaux]

Hey princess

Jack Hughes x Y/N

a/n: Why am I such a hopeless romantic 🤦🏼‍♀️ Picture is from Pinterest, also I have no clue how to run this app. Word count? Idk

Enjoy!

Little 6 year old Jack Hughes was trudging through the doors of the local hockey arena for practice. His mom and two brothers right ahead of him. As they got to the bleachers to set their bags down they prepared to go onto the ice until they noticed a few little girls twirling and skating around.

Jacks face scrunched up “mom what are they doing? This is a hockey rink.”

Ellen grinned as her three boys looked on. “Those are figure skaters, you guys play hockey on the ice, well they dance on the ice.” Jack watched as the little dancers finished up their practice, he looked at one of the girls wearing a pink skirt with grey leg warmers, her blonde curls flowing as she skated across the ice with little effort.

“Mom she looks like a princess” Jack said pointing at the blonde.

“I suppose they could be princesses” Ellen smiled at her middle boy.

“They need to hurry and get off the ice” Quinn huffed not impressed by the girls taking up time on the ice.

*14 years later*

From Rowdy:

Hey princess, you at the rink?

To Rowdy:

Hey J, yes I’m at the rink. I should be done about 6:30.

From Rowdy:

See you soon :)

Quinn, Jack and Luke all headed towards the local ice rink to get some quality brother bonding time in. They heard music playing as they walked in and Quinn and Luke both stopped immediately and turned to Jack.

“Really? You made us come early so you could see the end of Y/Ns practice?” Quinn chirped at his younger brother. Luke giggling at Jacks flushed face.

“Shut up, I haven’t seen her since I got to town” Jack grumbled dropping his bag on the floor.

The boys all walked over to the bleachers and started to lace their skates up and Jack walked up to the edge of the rink to watch Y/N. His mood instantly getting better as he saw her. Her pink skirt had been traded in for black leggings and a black long sleeve t shirt, her blonde curls even more unruly as she got older. Though she still looked as stunning as ever. He smiled at the memory of them meeting in this very rink. He watched as she glided and danced with very little effort, she had a natural talent for figure skating. It had been her passion much like hockey had been his. After a few minutes had passed he returned to the bleachers to put his skates on and wait for Y/n to finish up her practice.

*14 years earlier*

Little Jack waited impatiently as the little figure skating class was ending. As the little blonde girl stepped off the ice looking for her mom he startled her by saying “hi I’m jack!” She looked at him with big grey eyes almost looking terrified by the hockey players taking over the bleachers. A woman stepped towards her with skate guards and he assumed that was her mother.

“Honey tell him your name” your mom said.

“I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you” she barely whispered.

“You looked like a princess out there” Jack said again as the little blonde started to hide behind her moms legs. He could see her smiling as she whispered “thank you Jack.”

“Sorry, Jack is my intrusive one” Ellen said as she approached the scared little girl and her mother.

“No worries at all, y/n here is just shy” her mother said back. Ellen and the girls mother quickly falling into polite conversation as her boys shuffled to the ice. Y/n keeping an eye on the boy.

*present*

Y/n saw the boys walk in, she was excited to see Jack, she hadn’t seen him in a few months. Even though they texted and FaceTimed, it still wasn’t the same as in person. As her routine ended she admired Jack. His smile was breathtaking.

“Hey guys” y/n said as she headed towards the Hughes boys, “sorry I have one more routine then I’m done for the night.”

Jack smiled at her “no worries princess, we have the rink for the rest of the night so take your time” he added with a wink at the end. Y/n blushed at the nickname and skated off, knees going weak at the sound of jacks voice. To most the nickname sounded ridiculous but to y/n it gave her butterflies as she remembered that’s what he called her the first time they met. He kept up with the same nickname their entire friendship, or situationship.

“Princess? Really? Dude you gotta be kidding me. You are so down bad for her it’s embarrassing.” Luke said rolling his eyes. Quinn and Luke both laughing and poking fun at Jack while she finished with her last routine of the night.

As y/n stepped off the ice and slipped her skate guards on she started walking towards the Hughes boys. Quinn and Luke weren’t oblivious or blind. Y/n was stunning but she only had eyes for Jack. “The ice is yours guys, sorry i didn’t realize it would go late” y/n muttered.

“No worries. You staying to skate with us?” Luke asked. Jack stared at her hoping she would say yes, granted she’s never turned down a skating session with them before.

“Yea I can stay for a bit” she spoke quietly.

The three boys were skating and roughhousing with each other for the next few hours while y/n mindlessly twirled around stealing glances at Jack. Every now and then she would interact with the mini hockey game they had going. The boys had a tendency to play rough with each other but whenever y/n got too close they toned it down.

*later that night*

Y/n was walking through the door to her parents house, which ever so convenient for Jack, was about two miles from the lake house. Her phone buzzed.

From Rowdy:

Hey Princess, we are starting up the fire pit.

Wanna come over?

To Rowdy:

Sure :) I’ll head over in a bit.

She smiled down at her phone. Her mom walking into the kitchen seeing her daughter grinning at her phone “y/n are you ever gonna tell that boy how you feel. You two have been pining after each other since the moment you met.”

“Moooommmm” y/n groaned.

“Yyyy/nnnnnn” her mom mimicked.

“He invited me over to the lake house, they started up the fire pit, so I’ll be back late.”

“Honey you are 20 years old you do not have to keep me updated on your schedule constantly” her mom said “but I do want to know if you kiss him.”

“And on that note I am leaving” y/n rolled her eyes playfully and grabbed her keys.

Y/n pulled up to the Hughes lake house and shut her car off, she sat in her car for a few minutes looking in the mirror making sure she looked ok. She left her blonde hair in its natural messy curls and smoothed out her black leggings. She walked around the back of the house seeing the fire already going. As she approached she could see Quinn and Jack throwing marshmallows at each other and hearing Jacks contagious laughter she grinned. She noticed a few of Jack and Quinn’s friends were here too.

“Quit wasting the marshmallows you jerks!” Luke yelled at his older brothers.

As she got closer Quinn spotted y/n and threw a marshmallow at her, catching it she stuck her tongue out at the eldest Hughes brother while simultaneously throwing the marshmallow at Luke. Jack noticing her presence he walked up to her and brought her in for a hug. His cologne sent y/n into a euphoric state, she buried her face into his chest and he whispered “hey princess, I’m glad you came”.

“Only because of you” she whispered back. The sweet nothings constantly uttered between the two over the years was nothing new.

“Get a room already” Trevor shouted at his friend. Jack flipped him off as y/n walked towards the seat that Jack previously occupied. Both of them sitting down and cuddling up to one another.

“How’s Jersey treating you” y/n looked up at jack.

Jack stared into those beautiful grey eyes “it’s been good, wish you were there with me though”. Y/n smiled as she cuddled further into Jacks side, if that was at all possible. The rest of the group watching them closely as they all were involved in their own conversations amongst each other.

“Really?” she whispered.

“Yea. Of course I want you there. I’ve always wanted you there” he said. They looked up at the rest of the boys as they heard Trevor and Luke making gagging noises at the couple cuddled up.

“IvE aLwAyS wAnTeD yOu ThErE” Luke mocked “just get together already, I’m sick of seeing you two all secretive, and I’m sick of him moping around when you’re gone.”

“You guys aren’t subtle at all with whatever this is” Quinn said motioning to your cuddling. Y/ns face was so red she was surprised the boys didn’t see it over the light from the fire, so she buried her face into jacks chest. Jack chewing on his lip as he tried to contain his smile. Rolling his eyes at his brothers making fun of them. Turning his attention back to his dream girl he whispered “since you’re done with school finally, and you’ll be done with competition soon maybe you could go with me when I go back to Jersey this time”.

“I’d like that J”.

This was gonna be a good summer, he could feel it.

#nhl blurb #nhl x reader #hockey imagines #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes #nhl imagines #nhl imagine

[macsimagines]

👉👈 I know you mentioned getting asks with similar themes but I can’t help but ask for more because god damn is the angst just… -chefs kiss-

Can the girlies (and by girlies I mean me 😔) get that Kanto!Mikey, Shion, and baby boy Shinichiro headcanons about their s/o trying to leave them because their s/o doesn’t feel good enough?

I swear I’ll give you a better idea someday 😭😭😭.

I did Mikey in a seperate post because his got out of a hand and waaaaaaaaay to big sorry I didn't give these two as much love.

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, STALKING, GASLIGHTING???

Yandere!Shion Madarame

He knows you're insecure, and he loves you, he really does, but he uses it to his advantage. Shion is more worried you're going to be scared and try to run, not like he'll ever let you, but still is very worried about what you might try so he does attempt to play into your worries to make you stay.

"I mean, ya, you can be a pain, but I still like you," he tells you after listening to you fret over how maybe he shouldn't be with someone so weak. What he doesn't say is that he wants to protect you, to guard you and love you because you're just too precious to let go.

But then you go and pull some bullshit. You actually try to break it off... "I-I can't do it anymore, Shion. I just know you need someone who can do more for you and I'm not that person..." and you actually walk out on him like that.

Now Shion would sooner tear out his own eyes than ever hurt you, but your 'breakup' isn't sitting well with him. You figured as much when you see him watching staring at you from your apartment window. He even waves.

And it gets worse from there, because now there always seems to be beatings where ever you go. The nice clerk at the corner store you visit regularly ends up being robbed and thrown out of a window, the jogger you pass by and smile to in your neighborhood ends up being jumped with his kneecaps broken, and even your coworker that always brings you coffee has somehow ended up in accident... People are dropping like flys...

Shion pays you a visit one day. He's actually sitting in your apartment when you get off one night. You're already not happy because you just heard an old friend from high school had somehow ended up with a cracked skull...

But you find Shion just sitting at the foot of your bed... With hands caked in drying blood, smiling at you like you just told him he had won a million dollars.

"How many more?" he asks you, "Wh-what? Shion what're you-" "How many more people are in our way, Y/N? Tell me so I can take care of 'em."

Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

Oh how much this one loves you could bring all the greatest of romantics to shame. Too bad he's such a goofball. And honestly, that suits you fine. You two are perfect for each other like that.

You're both playful, a little silly, and you two have fun together. But then you see it. The importance of Shinichiro Sano. Men, powerful men, come to him for guidance and respect his own authority.

That makes you feel so small. You actually can't believe how many influential people he has at his beck and call, the ones that call him a leader. And where could someone, who's a little bit goofy and a lot of bit awkward possibly fit into his world.

You tell him as much and it almost brings him to tears. "You're just... you're so much more than I am-!" "I am nothing without you! How could you even think that!?"

And you two argue like that all the time, back and forth, about how you know he's too important to waste his time, and how you're too important to loose. But boy does he feel like he's loosing you....

"I gave it all up. I don't need that if I don't have you." "You had it before me, you can't just stop being so important." But he isn't important, you make him feel important...

Once, you tried to mention that maybe he could do better and he reached hysterics. It honestly terrified you, not because he was violent but because you saw that he had the potential to be.

Grabbing your arms in his hands with a crushing grip, one you knew could break bones if they really wanted to, and holding you so tight that you couldn't even budge if you wanted to.

"I don't want anyone else!" he had hissed, "I don't need anyone else! This is it! For you and me!" its no longer comforting words but demands of submission now. Like he needs you to top bringing the topic up altogether.

And you do. Not because you want to or because you're suddenly convinced. But because you're too scared now. You've noticed eyes on your everywhere you go, you even tell Shinichiro about it.

"Oh? Him? He worked under me back in the day. Told him to keep an eye out for you." "Wh-what!? Why!?" "Keep you safe. Keep you from doing something stupid."

You figured you're not the only insecure one....

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere shion madarame #yandere shinichiro sano

[darkbluekies]

Dr Kry asks #4

Previous one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: mentions of ed, otherwise the normal Dr Kry stuff

I wonder how Dr Kry would feel if his darling developed romantic for him but was waiting to leave the hospital to officially ask him out. They'll say stuff like "I can't wait to leave this hospital bed so we can finally have a proper date together !",  "I would love to go see [movie name] in the theaters with you!" Or "I'd love to be with you but once I get better I promise! You deserve more than the semi-vegetable that I currently am." I guess he'd be a little conflicted, would he let his darling free from the hospital so they can have a somewhat normal romantic relationship or would he keep them here ?

He'd let his darling get well because he doesn't want anything else than the traditional house hold and only keeps them ill because they're not complient. But if they actually do like him and see a future together, then he can begin to live out his dream.

How would dr Kry react to a coworker reader who figures out he’s been telling people they’re dating and tries to leave him?

He'd be flustered. You weren't supposed to figure it out, you weren't supposed to know! He'd try to justify his actions while making you feel bad for leaving him.

"But Y/N, please, I'm doing it for you. If people think that we're together they'll not bother you. I've seen how people eye you in the corridor. It's disgusting. I'm just trying to help, so please don't leave. It hurts my feelings. I'm just trying to help ..."

He might say that you're pretending now, but he'll fake it til he makes it.

At this point I’ll let Dr kry talk for me,like yes please finish of my setences Cuase sometimes words are hard and it’s hard to speak so that sounds amazing

Careful, he will do it. As long as you're around other people, he'll finish your sentences, but he'd like for you to talk to him when you're alone. He loves to hear your voice so much.

I remember when you said that Dr Kry would worsen the toxic air purifier if we ignore him till it hurts too much, me personally I'm petty as hell, he'd have to see me DIE before I speak to him because thats what he gets, I'm petty to the death ✊

I- .... i don't know what to say.

My headcanon voice for Dr. Kry is Sammy Lawrence from Bendy and the Ink Machine.

Omg, you are so big brain. I would say his voice is a tad bit lighter in my head, but other that that, damn.

Does dr. Kry bathe reader or he only does if the reader is very sick?

He does it all the time. Since the reader is too weak and dizzy and everything from the poison 24/7, he doesn't trust them. They could hurt themselves in there. Besides, he likes being able to take care of the reader in every aspect. This is the closest he'll come to their nudity without it being uncomfortable for him.

Would Dr. Kry let the reader customize their hospital room if they asked nicely?

Of course! If he knows that they're okay with being there (and even fix the room to their liking) then it'll just make him happy!

do you think kry would treat darling differently if she has an ED and won’t eat much?i have an ED and just wanted to see how my favorite boy might take it :’) feel free to ignore lol

He will. Every action will be calculated and well thought out to make you calmer and more open to try to eat. He won't force you, but he'll encourage you. He's studied this, he knows how dangerous something like this can be. And that's why he wants to help you as much as possible.

Me whose been sick for 3 weeks with an awful cough and body pains. "Please dr kry come kidnap me..just wanna sleep and not work"Have been working weekends with my sick body because the boss doesn't give sick leave for flu

Careful, he will do it.

I love dr kry but he drinks coffee all the time so his breath probably STANKS. Hes a 10 but he has constant coffee breath.

Well DUH HE IS A COFFEIN ADDICT. don't bully him :(

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere drabbles #yandere oc x you #yandere oc x reader #yandere doctor #yandere male #yandere asks

[lovergirly]

mornings with wednesday

i wrote this while super drunk so please bear with me. i love y’all so much i hope you enjoy 💕

dating wednesday addams was a crazy experience. she didn’t quite know how to express emotions, but she tried for you. she held the door open, kissed your knuckles, allowed you to pick on her without killing you, etc. your favorite part, however, was mornings with your lovely, goth girlfriend. it was currently 5 am and you could feel wednesday trying to get out of your grasp.

“wednesday stop-“

“no. it’s 5, i need to get up. you should too.” you can see her braided hair was slightly messy and she didn’t have any makeup on. she looked beautiful.

“can we please cuddle for another five minutes?”

“why must you always ask this? you know i say no every time so just let me get up.” she sees your face turn a little sour so she sighs and leans in to give you a kiss. she finally gets up and leaves for the bathroom to take a shower. you stare at the door for a couple seconds before starting to close your eyes again, only to hear wednesday yell, “don’t go back to sleep,” through the door. you never understood how she knew you that well. so well she could tell your every move, even when she couldn’t see you. you disregarded her words anyway, and took a nap until she got out of the bathroom.

“i thought i gave you explicit instructions.” you simple smile at her and she deadpans back at you.

“i’m tired what can i say my love?”

“you can say nothing and get out of bed.”

“whatever.” you say while finally getting out of bed. you get dressed in your uniform while wednesday changes into the same uniform but all black. just looking at her made you fall even deeper in love. she always looked so composed. even when it’s 5:45 am and her hair is down and… wait. her hair is down. it was longer than you expected, very wavy. she looked absolutely elegant, but you knew she’d braid her hair again. it’s never not braided after all. why not make the morning just a tad bit romantic.

“wednesday?” you asked while conjuring up the sweetest voice you could find.

“yes mi amor?”

“can i braid your hair… please?”

wednesday paused. she never let anyone touch her hair. it was her thing. she always needed to look composed, it didn’t matter who she was with. as long as she was composed she’d be fine. she can’t act nervous right now because it makes her lose control of her body. and when she loses control of her body she loses control of her words. “you want to- what?… umm why may i… ask?”

“because i love you and i want to make you feel beautiful. and if doing your hair will do that then i must braid your hair.” you shrug. deep down your real reason was to be close to wednesday. you loved her. her shampoo, her hair, her face. not only that but her personality, her charisma, her style. you loved the girl in front of you with everything you could. and in return she loved you. she sat in front of you as you started dividing her hair and getting to work. she was nervous (though she’d rather swim through a pool of her own blood than admit that). she loved your gentle touches and how you can make her feel like a precious doll. now wednesday hated feeling weak, but with you she didn’t feel that way. she instead felt loved. every smile you sent her way was true love. every time you reached for her hand when you were nervous was true love. every time you apologize for pulling her hair a little too hard was true love. you both were so in love with each other and neither of you were scared to admit it. “oh mi amor, you did such a good job on my hair.” the goth praises while giving you a kiss of the nose.

“of course i did! i tried my hardest. now it’s 6:15 we need to get breakfast.”

“of course after you my love.” she says while opening the door for you and giving a false bow to show how chivalrous she is.

————————————————————————

i hope you guess enjoyed !! like i said i’m very drunk rn so i’ll probably delete this tomorrow morning or something. leave me more requests i’ll get back to them asap!!

#wednesday #wednesday addams x reader #jenna ortega #lgbtq #addams family #fanfic #jenna ortega x reader #wednsday addams #drunk thoughts #i’m drunk

[lucysarah-c]

Do you think Levi would be with someone who was canonically "innocent" or "weak"?

Would he have a relationship with an ordinary civilian?

Considering how much shitty hard shit he's been through, it seems like he wouldn't be with a partner who has a good life, who hasn't been through hard shit and who is pure.

Would he get cold and distant from a partner who is weak, insecure, unable to get up from a fall?

I felt the need to ask this question because I read a Hc about Levi being uncomfortable with weakness and that he can't be with someone who is weak and innocent

Especially in the manga, he said something about hating the weak.

Or if he saw the weaknesses of the average partner, would he accept his flaws or would he grow cold and distant from him?

Ahh I don't know, maybe his behavior towards his partner depends on the dynamics of their relationship. For example if he has been friends with S/o since childhood. Even if S/o was a weak person, maybe he wouldn't distance himself from her. But I don't know if he would like her romantically.

If you are the last person I will ask this question to, I can ask it on another blog. I didn't know which blog to ask.

Hi, sweetie! How are you? Mmh… Excuse me if I am wrong in assuming this after reading your ask, but since you mentioned that this is something that had been on your mind lately after you read a hc and you felt the need to ask me… I do not know who or what made you feel like you're weak, first of all, and even if you felt that way, therefore you're not worthy of Levi's love.

I have a particular… you may call it a "personal" issue with the word "weak". What do you consider weak? What is weakness in a person to even begin? "That person is weak" compared to what? Or to whom? Under which circumstances? Is what people consider "weakness" truly a weakness? Because everything may look dark if you don't consider the source of light.

I'll give my reasons later, but to make a long story short, no, I don't think Levi has any personal issue with weakness.

To start the argument, you, or maybe what they have made you believe, is "weakness" as you mentioned "innocence, ordinary civilian, good life, pure," all related to "weakness." Which leads me to ask you, what do you see as weak in all those characteristics? Because I see none. Let me explain. You see, people consider "ordinary civilians" weak, but if ordinary civilians didn't rise from their beds every single morning and do what they do for society, soldiers like Levi wouldn't have what to eat, what to wear, streets to walk, beds to sleep, or houses to hide from the cruel winter. To set a clear example, after Europe was DEVASTATED by the war, who rebuilt it? Who grabbed the helmets from the dead soldiers that were their men, their sons, their husbands, and made strainers to cook meals for the kids? Who picked up each and every single piece of debris so the cities could be rebuilt? Who worked the lands that once were trenches for kids to have what to eat? I see no weakness there. Weakness is in a human when they need to hold a weapon to feel powerful.

About the words "innocence, good life, pure"… why would Levi consider a person that didn't have his tough life someone not worthy of his love? There's nothing wrong and there's no fault in not suffering; romanticizing a harsh and poor life is something very dangerous. To set a clear example that Levi wishes that those he loves have a peaceful life, is him watching that mother with her child before the expedition to retake Wall Maria. He himself thought of his mother and the peaceful normal life he wished she had, he wished he could have given her.

Levi himself is an extremely sensitive, open-hearted, and altruistic person. He craves a normal life; his dream was to have a tea shop and live an "innocent, peaceful, pure" life. This reminds me of the movie "Sociedad de la Nieve," when Roberto Canessa is told "you have the best legs of the team, you have to walk for the rest of us," to do what others can't. THIS, for me, is the reason Levi joined the scouts. Because he KNOWS he can do something that others can't, and he will carry that weight because he knows he can carry it. Levi isn't in the military because he thinks he's "strong" or the power of being "strong," because he wishes to protect those who can't do the job he can, because he wants to be the person who helps others as he wasn't helped as an innocent, pure, weak little kid.

Levi values life, and he would never look down on someone because their life is perhaps more peaceful than his. On the contrary, I think he fights so everyone can have the peaceful life he couldn't have. Maybe, the "character" that others may consider "too innocent, pure, weak" is the character that has the tranquility and safety in their daily life that allows Levi to find refuge in their peacefulness to recover his energy to keep going. Maybe he enjoys spending time with them, admiring the little moments of life, to understand for what he is fighting.

Maybe this partner is going through a hard moment they can't see through, and perhaps that struggle isn't as big as what Levi's has been through. But only a very selfish person would measure someone's pain with their own; feelings have no proportions, we just feel them. Diminishing them won't do any good. It's easy to judge a cat for not being as strong as a dog, while nobody is calling a dog weak because they can't climb a tree. Life is too beautiful and complex to see it through a single lens. No, I do not believe Levi would do such a thing.

Hope this helps… if you ever feel like you need someone to vent, feel free. Stay safe.

Lots of love!

#levi ackerman #levi #captain levi #levi aot #snk levi #levi x reader #levi x y/n #aot levi #snk levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackeman #levi attack on titan #captain levi ackerman x you #captain levi x reader #captian levi x reader #captain levi ackerman x y/n #captain levi x you #levi shingeki no kyojin #levi x you #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titans #levi smut #levi x reader smut #levi ackerman snk #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman x female!reader

[agentrouka-blog]

Dany fan here: I think other Dany fans think Jonsas are over the top with Dany hate because of pol!Jon. I follow many Jonsas because I’m perfectly fine with Jonsa. It’s not for me but I see the vision. That said I’m a bit of an unusual Dany fan in the sense that I’m a big fan of the Meereenese Knot essays and think the interpretation of Dany presented there is pretty spot on. I personally think Dany has a good heart but that circumstance and experience and terrible coping mechanisms have led her to act in villainous ways and whether or not a character is a villain is determined by their actions regardless of whatever goodness is in their heart. But anyway I do not like the pol!Jon theory. I think it’s out of character for Jon and needlessly cruel to Dany. I think it’s possible that he ultimately kills her and that could be fine and I don’t reject that theory, but I think the idea of Jon deceiving and sexually abusing Dany and then killing her for the sake of Sansa is what Dany fans think of when they think of over the top hate because they assume every Jonsa shipper also believes in pol!Jon.

I do understand why people thought Jon was deceiving Dany in the show though because their relationship was just so poorly executed and Kit and Emilia had no chemistry on screen. Imagine fucking up your show’s romance so badly that people think the script confirming that the love was mutual must have been tampered with.

Hi there!

(I think Dany is a compelling tragic villain, and it's lovely seeing someone loving her for it!)

I do think that pol!Jon (under duress, esentially) is a not unreasonable theory that grew out of the way the show presented their relationship. If there was sexual abuse I think it's fair to say it was in the hands of the more powerful party, though.

That said, I don't see it happening that way in the books at all and I think all characters will be better off for it. I agree it wouldn't feel right.

Certainly not in a punitive "you thought he would love you but he really loves Sansa, now die!!!" way. That cheapens jonsa as much as it cheapens the complexity of the conflict between Dany and Jon.

It's just a deeply uninteresting way to explore their existing conflict or their respective strengths. Not to be a hater but it's not exactly riveting literature watching Dany be manipulated by Daario and it's unlikely to be more so in a repeat performance with Jon who isn't even her type. Same as watching Jon go through a repeat of the abusive Ygritte plotline would be less than compelling.

We'll have instances of romantic manipulation. Littlefinger is practically begging Sansa to use his own obsession against him, and Arya gives us a preview when she lures Raff to his death wearing "Mercy's" face. That's been set up since the first book, and it works as a satisfying response to the way everyone has been telling Sansa how weak and simple she is. It's very personal, very steeped in their respective histories, very poetic.

But for Jon and Dany I think we can expect something more universal and even-handed than that. They are both at varying points manipulative and earnest, highly clever or unexpectly outmaneuvered. And neither will be in this conflict all alone and without advice. Not to mention, we have both of their POVs and watching one just miss all the clues of the other manipulating them would be flat. This only ever works with one POV withheld. The show tried that with Jon Snow live on the screen, to disastrous results. No way is that GRRM's plan.

I'd rather watch two clever adversaries play a big game of chess. And given GRRM's love for that game, I am certain it's also what he would prefer to write.

#anti jonerys #jon snow #anti daenerys targaryen #<- for filtering #jonsa #rouka ask

[0lshadyl0]

Any HCs or scenarios on Yandere Hancock boa ?? I think she an interesting character 🥰

Of course, my dear, she is a fascinating character, in fact, she is my favorite female character after Nico Robin, I am weak to black haired women with cool powers and sad past.

Yandere Boa Hancock headcanons

• Brave of you to assume that she is not a yandere in the canon, that is, she has all the points to follow for her character to be a yandere, especially a delusional yandere

• sad past with traumatic events, no friends, position of power, no one contradicts her, she gets lost in her own fantasies, lives in her own reality and obsesses over a person beyond what is sanely possible, yeah she checks all the marks 

• But, she would only become obsessed with her romantic interest if he has a very specific personality (for example, Luffy)

• Ok, let's say that the key for her to fix her eyes on you is that you have heroic tendencies, that is, she likes people with a good heart, willing to do what others would consider crazy in order to help others. the others (such as hitting a Tenryūbito, better yet, killing one)  

• or just a very kind person with a great charisma, very positive mind but who doesn't take shit from anyone

• if things happened naturally, I'm pretty sure Hancock would be obsessed with a woman, Luffy is an exception to the rule (call it the power of the script thanks to being the protagonist of the series)

• Let's remember that the first men in her life that she met were the Tenryūbito and they are the worst experiences that a young woman like Boa could have, emotionally, physically and sexually (I'm 200% sure that she was raped by a good number of them, that's why despite being in love with Luffy she never sees herself having children with him… probably she can't even get pregnant due to irreparable damage to her sexual organ or simply they removed the ovaries so that she could not get pregnant by the Tenryūbito since she was a slave and the slaves are not worthy of having a child with a being as noble as a Tenryūbito is)

• Anyway, when she fixes her eyes on you, in her head she already begins to live in a world apart

• You've probably seen each other a maximum of five times and most of it in battles, possibly you saved her from some dangerous situation but not paying much attention to her, but in her head, you two are already engaged

• Yes, she is the type of women who, from a very young age, dreamed of getting married and having a large family full of love, a dream that has been transformed into only having a partner to love and be loved by because of the Tenryūbito and all their shit

• She is a relatively easy yandere to deal with, since the word of her s/o is divine law for her, she will never question you, nor will she go against you, she will not hesitate to put herself in danger or give her life for you, she literally will kill for you

• But, keep in mind, she is very jealous and in an unjustified way, nobody can look at you because she is already asking questions and imagining scenarios where you abandon her.

• Because, despite all that she says about being the most beautiful woman in the world, she actually has low self-esteem due to her past as a slave, she doesn't feel that she is worthy of you, because she is dirty

• But if you tell her that you are not interested in that person or deny knowing about the existence of the person who made her jealous, she will believe you without a shadow of a doubt.

• You can tell her that the sky is green and for her, yes, ultimately the sky is green and she will turn anyone who says otherwise into stone

• She is a stalker, she will follow you everywhere and will always be watching you, of course, at a respectful (Hinata-Naruto style) distance if the two of you get into a relationship, she will stick to you like gum, she is unbelievably clingy and has no idea of the meaning of personal space

• She is one of the few yanderes who have no sexual intentions, because she is traumatized with sex (she has never known about vanilla sex or consent) and considers it torture, she loves you too much to do you any kind of harm

• Oh, but if she were to get over her traumas and discover that sex can be enjoyed and is a way to stay connected to the one she loves, man, get ready for a long ride

#shady answer #one piece #yandere one piece #yandere posts #one piece headcanons #yandere x reader #yandere hancock #yandere boa hancock #yandere boa hancock x reader #one piece imagine #one piece boa hancock #boa hancock

[nanawritesit]

Yuqi Girlfriend Headcanons!

Regardless of your gender identity, she’ll most likely play the “boyfriend” role in the relationship

She isn’t super romantic or affectionate all the time, but she definitely makes you feel loved by taking care of you

She’s a big acts of service lover, she likes to help with chores, help you go shopping, cook you dinner, etc.

She’ll also occasionally surprise you with a small gifts whether it by flowers, a stuffed animal, or chocolate!

This girl is super strong, so you never have to worry about opening a tight jar 😤

She also kills bugs for you 💀

Yuqi insists on paying for everything while you’re out, claiming that she makes more than enough money to pay for the two of you

Pretty much the only time you get to really spoil her back is her birthday

You cook all her favorite foods for her, including jokbal, hotpot, pickled radish and sweet zongzi 🥰

You also make sweet zongzi whenever she’s feeling homesick

Her favorite gift you’ve ever given her was a huge stuffed corgi that took up the entire corner of her bedroom 💞

Although, she almost cried when you surprised her with a trip to Beijing to see her family 🥹

They were so grateful that they offered you Yuqi’s hand in marriage 💀 (It was a joke but you were ready to put a ring on it 👀)

She was a bit intimidated to talk to you at first because she found you so beautiful (like she did with Miyeon LOL) but due to her outgoing nature, she was able to get over it and approach you

Thank god she did, because now she couldn’t imagine living without you <3

She likes to be called “cutie” :)

She struggled to find a nickname that fit you for a while, but eventually she decided on “cookie” 🥰

You’ll help her reach things on high shelves because her arms are so short 😭

She’s not very good and realizing when she’s working too hard, so you’ll have to be the one to reign her in

She randomly dances around the house ALL the time

You also catch her rapping various lyrics to herself

She really needs something to fill the silence okay 😤

Yuqi really doesn’t like being alone so even if you guys aren’t around each other, she’ll call you to at least hear your voice and check in on you

She’s told you several times that you can literally call her 24/7 and she’ll always pick up for you ❤️

She’s super goofy, so you’ll never be bored with her around. It also makes her really good at cheering you up when you’re sad :)

Her making you listen to Super Junior all the time (I hate them bc they’re so problematic but who am I to disagree with Queen Yuqi)

Her joking that Ryeowook is her “REAL boyfriend” 💀 You’ll literally have to square up with his poster 👊🏻

You guys love teasing each other and getting on each others’ nerves

You go back and forth annoying each other, but it’s all in good fun (she’s really hot when she’s angry too)

She can get you to anything by asking you in her deep, husky voice (She knows it’s your weakness)

Although, you know her weakness as well… if you call her “noona” or “unni,” she’ll be putty in your hand 👀 She usually hates formalities like that but when it’s from you, it gets her going so fast

She’s super outgoing, so she’ll constantly push you to try new things and move out of your comfort zone

There’s no secret you could ever tell her that she wouldn’t keep. She’s super trustworthy and will take it to the grave

While she’s super patient, she can be a little possessive. Especially if she feels threatened by the person who seems to be interested in you

She never gets mad at you, just at the other person

Her expression alone is enough to scare them off though 😳 She can be super scary when she wants to be!

But you don’t notice anything, and just smile at her innocently 😊

Her stealing your clothes on a regular basis

She’s not super into PDA but she does enjoy holding your hand while you walk places together

Speaking of which, one of her favorite activities to do with you is taking walks together. It eventually becomes a daily habit whenever you guys have time!

Behind closed doors however, she’s the biggest cuddle bug :) She’ll cage you in her arms and not let go of you for HOURS while you watch dramas together

Yuqi is 100% a big spoon!

If you rub her neck, shoulders, and back for her after a long day, she might get down on one knee right then and there 💀

In the end, you’re super lucky to have Yuqi as a girlfriend. She always takes such good care of you, never leaves you feeling lonely, and constantly keeps you entertained. She’s so in love with you and wouldn’t have it any other way 🥰

#(g)i-dle #gidle yuqi #gidle imagines #gidle x reader #gidle headcanons #gidle scenarios #gidle fanfic #gidle writing #gidle reactions #yuqi x reader #yuqi imagines #yuqi scenarios #yuqi fanfic #yuqi headcanons #song yuqi #girl group imagines #girl group fanfic #girl group scenarios #girl group x reader

[absolutebl]

This week in BL - I am all over the place, But Laws of Attraction is Phenomenal af

July 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Icky picked it up but it’s not airing for me until Sundays so I held this post specifically to watch and talk about this show. Stars the pair from To Sir With Love with the same production team. IT’S SO GOOD Y’ALL. A morally corrupted trickster lawyer with a tragic past, sad eyes, and a beautiful smile that he uses like a weapon. Meets paladin martial arts instructor from other side of the tracks (who is out, at least to his baby sister). Corrupt police. Spoiled rich kid evil. Ambitious politician. Tragic death. Terrible subs.* This show is very like Manner of Death but so far it is a much better/tighter story. It’s NOT BL but it is fucking phenomenal. And you shoudl watch it. Not wait to binge it. WATCH IT. On a global scale this might be the best thing currently airing featuring gay romantic leads. Its really fucking good. It’s Lawless Lawyer but more complex character motivation and gay af. Fuck yes please and thank you. FINALLY. Triggers for violence, beatings, death & torture depicted on screen. Like MoD they are not holding back.  (* A lot of the familial names they are using are not gendered in Thai but translated as such, like “nephew”. This one is gonna go down a lot easier if you know some Thai.)

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 12fin - 2 years pass and no one’s hairstyle changes? Srs. Them meeting again = hella AWKWARD. Both still pining & hurt. NO SINGING. The reconciliation scene was great. I enjoyed that on the “do over relationship” they went with phi/pom (instead of the super formal khuns). So cute and so much more relaxed. Also lots of neck kisses! Charming final ep. It’s only flaw being they dropped the side couple, but I wasn’t really into them anyway. Ultimately? This is what Boss & Babe should have been and could we please have Up lead out another BL? I miss him and he only gets prettier. Full review below.

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - I adore the tiny little baby GL thread that we almost got. And I wish we had had more of it throughout the show. The side couple turned out to be good too. Emotional crying kisses are my favorite. Sunshine netted himself an earnest serious romantic boy, we likey. As for the main couple? Well... Tai’s search story arc was dull and dragging in a final ep and it felt bloated and slow as a result. It was a good confession reunion with Tai figuring all of his shit out, not surprising but fine. Kind of a a weak final ep. Full review below. 

Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - JoonDunk are back and we have all seen this a million times before, but Thailand never executed a successful formula it didn’t want to repeat a million times over, drunk bathroom and everything. Welcome (back) to Thai BL (and back and back and back). Basically they just added glasses, a new 1-shared-brain-cell friendship group, and different uni departments. Ah GMMTV, forever trying to recreate the magic of 2gether. But also I’m enjoying it. I’m a simple person. (Hi Jamie! Still in college since 2018 I see.) Anyone else notice that Chinese phrase that they did not translate for us? Mmm hum. Cute. Still... NO SINGING. 

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 8 - Thames is in coma and getting slagged off on the socials. It’s moving a bit slowly but the premise is interesting despite the poor quality of the execution. 

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 8 eps - Major trigger for self harm depicted on screen in part 2/4. I skipped it. Then there is assault and verbal abuse. I told you Ultimate Troop is NOT to be trusted. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 2 of 12 - Look, I don’t really mind this show but I also don’t like second hand embarrassment and I sense a metric butt ton incoming.

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - I was not best pleased with this episode. Ya’ll round the tumblr-sphere seem to be enjoying it but I have officially hit the wall on Kawi. There is not enough booze for me to cope with his shizz. I may be alone in this. But gotta say how I feel... Unlike him. Trash watch here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - Poor Ren, he feels compelled to take on the burden of protecting everyone from sexual assault because he blames himself. And he can’t even talk to his boyfriend about it. Oh fuck me the pair of shoes at the door. And neck kisses? TOO MUCH. Argh. Japan. Why must you hurt so good? 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 3 of 10 eps - It’s a very cute show. All the tropes and archetypes with no fuss or attempts to be clever, just executing them (sometimes over and over again). Even hiccoughs as a result of flirting! I haven’t seen that one in ages. The show feels old fashioned as a result. Nostalgic. I’m good with that. 

Tie The Not (Pinoy YouTube) ep 6 of 8 - Sad boys still sad now drunk. (Noooooo shoes on bed! Argh.) Finally kisses! Also good ones for a large portion of this ep. Plus hair pulling. And verse rep! And after sex convo. Then side dishes have a whole proper gay ax covo about top/bottom. Everyone say thank you Philippines! get down with your queer selves! 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 6fin - I believe this was the final episode. It was cute. This is a standard sort of semi-crappy VBL high school drama. Enjoyable in its floppy friendliness, weirdly like a queer after school special promoting education. Dead fish kisses but fine for what it is. 7/10 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 2 of 12 eps - Activate cohabitation trope. They okay bfs. Minato not as frustrating this week, but still frustrating for me and Shin. Next week = cute outfits and dumb miscommunication yay!

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 11 of 12 - again it didn’t show up on my dash in time for this. I’ll pop it into next week. 

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

Ended This Week

Step By Step Series Review  

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. And that authenticity added tension to the narrative and character development (how novel). Now that might be because it has western source material, or it might be because it is actually kind of old-fashioned (it’s been years since I worked as an office grunt). I also really enjoyed the brothers’ relationship, and kinda wished they hadn’t attempted (and failed) to give said brother his own side BL. That one flaw made it a 9/10 for me. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

La Pluie Series Review

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL. By activating + examining the soulmates trope this show is challenging a foundation of romance: the idea that there is one person meant to be your one romantic partner all your life. This means that we, as viewers, spend much of the show worried about it having a happy ending, and that’s the source of both its brilliance and tension: would the narrative have the strength to truly challenge its own romantic core? But, ultimately, all this elevated complexity was executed in a somewhat shaky manner with the narrative derailing into some serious pacing issues and characters manipulated by miscommunication. However, with good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn a 9/10. I enjoyed it even as it made me think, so despite its flaws: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:  

7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI)  - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL side dish? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not? That is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts. Trying to decide to trash watch or not... 

7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT! So excited for this one. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

FYI roselle juice is made from hibiscus (a flower) so technically neither a tea nor a juice. (Hidden Agenda)

Tie the Not = all the verse rep this ep. I love this for them. 

The giggling was SO DAMN CUTE (Step by Step, na?) 

We all guessed it but it was still fun. (Stupid Genius) Also miracles of miracles, two actors who actually look like they could be brothers play brothers. 

First time I’ve seen faen translated as significant other. (Laws of Attraction)

THE PAIN! (Tokyo) 

(Last week.)

#this week in BL #BL gossip #bl news #upcoming BL #July 2023 BL #BL reviews #korean bl #japanese bl #thai bl #Vietnamese bl #pinoy bl #taiwanese bl #live action yaoi #Rakutan Viki #gagaoolala #GMMTV #Laws of Attraction #Step By Step review #La Pluie review #Stupid Genius review #Hidden Agenda the series #Low Frequency the series #Dinosaur Love #Be Mine Super Star #Shigatsu no Tokyo wa #Stay By My Side the series #\Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 #Tie The Not #Manner of Death #Lawless Lawyer

[yuri-is-online]

Same Anon here that dropped that mess of an angst post lol. Maybe I should find some name for myself if this becomes a regular thing.

There are a lot of valid points there. For as lightly as the story treats everything, wow this would be messed up irl. But I digress, I personally can see this potentially taking a much darker route. I don’t know if you’re comfortable talking about this so TW: Brief mention of suicide

I imagine Yuu to just bottle everything up for the aforementioned reasons of being seen as weak for expressing any of their emotions only for it to all come out in one big mental breakdown. I think it would be quite poetic for Yuu’s breakdown to be more of a quiet self-destructive thing just to contrast the showy, outwardly destructive nature of the overblots. I always thought it could be some spur of the moment decision to just end it all out of sheer hopelessness and a thoroughly crushed sense of self-worth. I just can’t see a teenager handling a burden this heavy very well. Whether or not Yuu survives could be up to how dark you want to go.

Also if it isn’t too much, I would like to see that post about the boys’ individual reactions to Yuu running away sometime. But I’m aware you only write for a few at a time so…

previous post

You are more than welcome to give yourself a name! I don't have any named annons so you are free to choose anything you like, and make regular appearances if that is what you wish. While I try to only write for a few characters at a time, I don't mind doing a bullet point type post with my thoughts on the boys reacting to Yuu running away sometime, but I need to think as part of me wants to write something sappy and romantic, while the other part wants to focus more on Yuu and their character. I could do both I suppose (￣ω￣;)

I'm fine with talking about suicide, but since it's a sensitive subject I am going to place my thoughts under read more and tag it so if it is something you, dear reader, are triggered by you needn't see more than you are comfortable with.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, discussions of suicide and depression, isolation, abandonment, and missing persons. This also kind of takes a trip into theory town I am so sorry annon. Please do not interact with the words below if you do not wish to think on such things.

I want to start out by saying that when a person is depressed it is not always obvious, even if they are contemplating suicide. We don't have a complete understanding of what drives someone to kill themselves because we can't ask people who have. I do think there is an element of assuming that either the world or you will be better off if you are dead; which I would like to stress simply is not true, but you are not evil for struggling with that feeling even if people try to make you feel like you are.

Yuu's breakdown being "more of a quiet self-destructive thing," as you stated dear friend, would be extremely poetic. To me it highlights the disparity between Yuu and the overblot boys. They have power and are able to hurt others to try and make themselves feel better, Yuu has next to none and is only able to hurt themselves.

Crowley mentions that there is counseling available to all NRC students, assuming the school follows real life laws we can assume the Professors are mandatory reporters. If Yuu shows signs of depression or self-harm, they will be required to report that and recommend Yuu for counseling, but the thing about therapy is that it's not a one size fits all solution. The patient needs to accept that they have a problem and, perhaps more importantly, trust their therapist otherwise you won't benefit from the treatment.

That's assuming that a counselor would even understand how to treat Yuu in the first place, there's a lot going on with their situation and while I could see a good therapist taking it very seriously, there's only so much they can do, which brings me to my sort of sticking point with this and why it took me so long to answer your ask.

Why in the hell is Yuu in Twisted Wonderland in the first place??? "Because they're Alice" ok sure but what does that like actually mean. I don't want to derail this into theory town but I keep thinking about the translated lines Crowley mutters to himself when calling Yuu a beast tamer that doesn't appear in the text box... something about how they look more like they are meant to be eaten by the beast than tame it.

There is a part of me that feels like Crowley wants Yuu to feel isolated and despondent about their chances of getting home, like he needs them to be accepting of their death and convinced it's the only way they will be useful. Something to do with Grim and that big Chimera at the beginning of the game, in the light novel there is someone telling Yuuya to take their hand but they can't move to take it, all they can do is stare up at the big monster and it's evil grin (if i remember correctly)

Anyway all of that to say I can see two sorts of scenarios leading to Yuu trying to harm themselves.

Route A: Summer

As was correctly pointed out in these tags on the original post, I think Summer would be the worst time for an actively depressed Yuu. If they have been seeing a counselor, they will likely not be available over the summer months, Crowley didn't take us on vacation with him the first time so there's no way he'll do it now, and everyone has their own families to get back to.

They only have Grim and the Ghosts. And while Yuu might love them, they technically belong here. Yuu does not. The lack of other friends bothering them means Yuu has time to think good and hard about where they are. And who they left behind.

I like to listen to Dateline while I work sometimes and one of the things that always gets to me is how little closure people feel when someone goes missing, even if they find out what happened to them. If Yuu is missing in their world and their family loves them... they just have next to no chance of ever finding that out. Ever.

If Yuu has a bad relationship with their family, or none at all, they probably start feeling like they are going insane. They have nothing worth going back to really, to the point that people would probably encourage them to see being in Twisted Wonderland as a good thing, a chance for a fresh start. But it has been anything but.

Summer would be a good time to run away, it's easier to be homeless in the Summer, plenty of places need part time help anyway, and Yuu can make a clean break from the school before anyone notices they're gone.

It's also a good time to decide you want to die. By the time your friends come back they will have already gotten used to life without you anyway.

.... i could see this making grim overblot tbh. He blames the school for taking Yuu from him and by the time everyone returns he is there. Waiting. The consequences of their actions given form.

A monument to all their sins.

Option B: Sacrifice

So back to theory tangent.

Grim and Yuu are one student. Crowley treats them as such, but what if he-

Or whoever the real final boss is

Need them to actually be one student.

So they approach Yuu, offer their sympathies. Tell them they know why Crowley cannot send Yuu home.

"Because you came here by dying, don't you remember? These events you have seen, all your misfortunes and troubles, they've all been like one big dream. What a terrible fate you've met... but no worries. I know how to set you free."

The strange masked man places his hand on your shoulder and guides you to the mirror. You see your reflection in it, for the first time you idly realize, hair spread out on the pavement with a halo of blood spatter about your sleeping head.

"You needn't be scared." the man's voice is calm, soothing even, so much so that you almost believe him when he says

"You've died once before, after all. You know exactly what it feels like, it will just be like going to sleep."

Sleep sounds good, even if you have just gotten done fighting to stay awake, so very good you nearly miss the creature's wicked grin spreading mockingly across the reflection of your peaceful face.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #tw sucidal ideation #tw suicide #sorry i was gone for so long i was obsessing over cows and ufos -_- #i think i worked it out of my system and put posting fic in my goals for this week so time to get back in the saddle

[sweetkpopmusings]

valentine's day with stray kids <3

a/n: happy valentine's day lovelies !! i really am just in my feelings these days and, while i've never been much of a valentine's day person, i can't help but get heart eyes thinking about spending it with skz :,-) jeongin's is actually my ideal valentine's day date, so here's to hoping i can experience it someday soon <3 pics not mine~

content: fluff, very sentimental and romantic, established relationship | wc: 3.2k | warnings: none really! mentions of food and cooking in minho's, jisung's, and felix's. a lil bit of kissing and a lot of handholding :,-) | pairing: stray kids x gn!reader | requests: open

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

chan♡‧₊˚

chan is so excited to celebrate valentine’s with you that he starts counting down the days on january 1st. really, he is just excited to celebrate anything and everything with you, and valentine’s day just happens to be a day when he can celebrate how much he loves you. because he is the sweetest boy in the world, he gets you a plushie of your favorite animal/character. this beloved plushie is holding a cute card with a heartfelt handwritten note inside it, including a cheesy pickup line–which he learned from stays–and a list of things he loves about you. chan, giddy with his love for you, blushes and giggles the whole way through giving you your gift. he continues giggling as you read the card, and poor chan is the brightest red when you look at him with starry eyes because how can he have such a big heart and love so innocently? chan is embarrassed by how red his cheeks and ears are, so he hugs you and nuzzles his face into your neck in an attempt to hide the fact that he physically cannot stop blushing. he prays you can’t feel his pounding heartbeat with his chest pressed to yours, but he doesn’t care too much given the fact that he loves holding and being held by you. when you give him his valentine–a handwritten note and a playlist of songs chosen just for him–chan completely melts. his knees are weak and his stomach is full of butterflies. he says his heart has stopped and the only cure is cuddling with you all day. for dramatic effect, he pretends that he can’t open his eyes or move his body as he falls to the floor, but the corners of his mouth never stop twitching upward because i cannot believe how happy i am with them. i never thought it was possible for my heart to beat so fast or love so deeply, but loving y/n makes me believe anything is possible. when you kiss him, his eyes burst wide open, the blush returning to his face and giggles escaping his mouth. when he looks up at you, the sparkle in your eyes enchants him, and he contemplates if he should share a confession he’s been holding onto for a long time. the breathless laugh that falls from your grinning face convinces him to bare his soul to you, so he interlaces his fingers with yours and asks, “do you want to hear a song i’ve been working on?”

minho♡‧₊˚

minho sees valentine’s day as the perfect excuse to live out some domestic fantasies with you. he swears up and down that he wants it to be lowkey, the “let’s not buy each other gifts. it’s better to spend quality time together than give into a scheme of candy hearts and cheesy cards,” kind of valentine’s day. the whole time you’re grocery shopping for dinner, he is watching you with lovestruck eyes and the sweetest, softest smile anyone has ever seen. he practically coos whenever he speaks to you, telling you to pick whatever you want for dinner. honey is dripping from his voice because he adores you and they look so cute trying to decide on which fruit looks the ripest. i’ll happily wait hours in the store for them to pick the best fruit every single day of my life. i really am in love with them. once you return from the store, it’s all aprons and dance parties in the kitchen as you cook together. minho makes more decisions once in the kitchen because he wants to ensure you have the best meal possible, but he’ll still hold the spoon up to your lips for every taste test and only adjust seasoning according to your preferences. he convinces you to clean up the kitchen a bit while he sets the table because “if i’m putting the presentation together, it’s only fair if you clean up the materials.” you are endearingly annoyed, but that turns into wholehearted endearment when you see a small box next to your dinner plate. minho acts as though he doesn’t see it when he pushes in your chair, and he feigns nonchalance as he watches you from across the table, carefully observing your reaction to his surprise. in the box there is a very thoughtful gift, a memento from the first time he saw you, and a note detailing how he felt on your first date. you’re stunned, to say the least, because i can’t believe he kept that all this time and i can’t believe he was so sure of me right after he met me. he eats like it’s no big deal, but his ears turn magenta when you thank him and there’s a sparkle in his eyes that only appears when he looks at you, so it’s safe to say that he is going to remember and cherish this moment forever and then some.   

changbin♡‧₊˚

changbin firmly believes you are the main character, so he wants to treat you like absolute royalty every day. valentine’s day gives him an excuse to amplify his natural adoration for you into full-blown theatrics. he pulls out all of the cliché and romantic stops. changbin handpicks a bouquet of roses for you. he buys you the best box of chocolates/candy in the prettiest heart shape in the store. he gives these to you with heart-shaped balloons and a teddy bear that says “i love you beary much” on the stomach. if he could make it rain, he would, just so he could dance with you and kiss you in it.  changbin, however, quickly gets embarrassed by the constant romantic gestures because if they look at me with a big smile one more time, i will have a heart attack. as soon as his brain reaches the point of complete malfunction, he starts laughing and squealing. you are shocked at first, especially since he was in the middle of a romantic declaration of love, but you are quickly laughing with him because he is the sweetest and most ridiculous partner. at one point, he just yells a signature changbin, “ah!!!” to regulate his senses. after calming down, he asks you what you want to do. of course, he agrees immediately to whatever you suggest and is beyond excited to spend time with you without the pressure to be prince charming. he does not let go of your hand for the rest of the day. changbin actually whines if you leave his side for longer than two minutes. whenever you huff in annoyance, he whips out aegyo with extra sweetener in it, so you quickly fold and return to his side. at the end of the day, you both are still smiling and looking at each other with huge heart eyes. you’re standing in the kitchen pouring yourself a glass of water when changbin comes in and softly asks, “will you dance with me?”  he holds his hand out to you, which you immediately accept, and he pulls you close to him, relishing in the intimacy of a simple romantic gesture. as you sway together, changbin hums your song and closes his eyes because nothing will ever be as warm as their body against mine, and nothing will ever sound more beautiful than the way they same my name in a quiet room.

hyunjin♡‧₊˚

hyunjin is a hopeless romantic every single day, but he sees valentine’s day as the perfect opportunity to put his romance skills to the test. when you wake up in the morning, there is a love letter by your pillow in which he recounts the moment he fell in love with you, detailing every beat of his heart and the expression you had when he realized you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. he perfectly times his entrance with a cup of your favorite coffee/tea, putting the mug in your hand right as you set down his handwritten confession. his brown eyes are glowing with adoration, and he kisses your forehead before settling back in bed next to you. hyunjin’s voice is soft as he asks you if you slept well and what you dreamt about. the smile is plastered to his face as he plays with your fingers because i finally understood the beauty of mornings once i started waking up next to them because the sunlight never seemed bright enough until it glowed on their skin. after your relaxing time in bed wraps up, hyunjin brings out watercolor supplies for you two. he gets super romantic and sentimental when he suggests you paint each other, but, soon enough, his own love overwhelms him and he falls into a cutesy laughing fit which makes your heart burst just as much as the love letter you woke up to. in line with how your relationship is, you two easily pivot from the grand romantic gesture into a game of painting silly pictures and seeing if the other person can guess what it is. it’s absolutely hilarious and perfect because you know that everything is romantic when i’m with him because hyunjin does everything with love. hyunjin’s at risk for hitting his head with how hard he’s laughing at your interpretation of his favorite mug, but he can’t stop laughing because i think true love feels like laughing until you're out of breath, even when the joke stops being funny, and i can never stop laughing when i’m with them.

jisung♡‧₊˚

jisung wants nothing more on valentine’s day than to spend it with you. you are his biggest comfort, so he knows that the best way to show you he loves you is to relax and hang out together, existing happily and comfortably in the same space. jisung also always wants to make sure you’re doing well, which means he has added some extra self-care activities to your relaxing day together. he insists that comfy clothes are mandatory. he suggests you wear your favorite shirt/hoodie, and he blushes when he quietly tells you that he picked his hoodie because it was the hoodie he wore the first time you hugged him. the only appropriate reaction to that sudden confession is to hold his face in both your hands, turning jisung into a blushing mess who groans about how cute you are and hides behind the pillows. once he somewhat regains his composure, he reappears by your side on the couch and holds your hand gently as he asks you if you’d like to go to your favorite bakery to get treats. he keeps your hands interlaced as you make your way to the bakery, talking excitedly about everything he’ll buy you and making you promise that you will share at least one bite with him. you tease and say that you won’t because “it’s my treat. i don’t have to share it.” he pouts, feigning a deep sadness, but that melts away to reveal a massive smile when you nudge his shoulder and say, “i’ll always share with you, jisung.” he mumbles a “thank you” because i’ve never been more in love than right now. the entire day, jisung watches you with extra heart eyes, and he doesn’t look away when you catch him like that. he swoons over the love he sees in your eyes, and he will become a lovey-dovey mess if you so much as giggle slightly. he adores you, and he never wants to let you go because i know they say you can’t make a person into a home, but being by y/n’s side is the most at-home i’ve felt in my entire life. being with them is the most natural thing in the world. loving them is the closest i’ve come to absolute peace, and i want nothing more than to bring that sense of security and comfort to them.

felix♡‧₊˚

felix loves quality time with you just as much as he loves giving you presents. therefore, he firmly believes that doing cute valentine’s day themed arts and crafts together will be the most fun you two could have. rather than buying gifts or going out, you spend the day with your favorite music/show playing in the background while you sit at the table and whip up beautiful works of art. felix insists you two dress up according to “the theme of the day,” which means you’re both wearing some kind of combination of pink and red clothing. it’s cheesy, but it makes felix giggle every time he remembers how you are matching, so it’s more than worth dressing up for an at-home date. the first craft of the day is creating diy valentines. felix went to a craft store to buy scissors that cut in different shapes, a variety pack of construction paper, 10 sheets of stickers, scented colored markers, and glitter glue. he puts a makeshift wall between you two at the table because “we can’t ruin the surprise!” he unabashedly watches you while you work, smiling brightly because i never knew a furrowed brow could be so cute. of course, felix cannot resist the perfect opportunity to bake together, so the kitchen becomes a mess of flour and food coloring as you bake cookies and make pink, red, and purple frosting to decorate them with. he breaks off pieces of cookies and feeds them to you while you work, and he hums in approval when he tastes the cookies himself. he swears up and down they turned out so well because of the secret ingredient only you two could put in it: true love. he bursts into a giggling fit after he says that, completely out of breath as you both return to the table to put together valentine’s day gift baskets for each other. despite the fact that you spent the entire day making these together, the act of receiving a gift basket from felix is exhilarating. he is practically vibrating with excitement when he watches you read the valentine, and his heart is almost guaranteed to burst out of his chest when you thank him because if it means i can see them smile like that, i will never stop giving them presents. people call me sunshine, but they clearly have never experienced how warm and bright y/n looks when they’re happy. felix tears up when he opens your gift basket, and he hugs you so tightly you are gasping for air. he kisses it better and hugs you tightly again.

seungmin♡‧₊˚

seungmin is so full of joy whenever he’s with you, so he wants your valentine’s day to be a very fun and cute day out on the town! he plans a little adventure to all your favorite spots and some new ones–he acts casual about it but he’s been planning it for weeks–and he holds your hand as he leads you around the city. the smile that beams on his face, the way you two laugh while you rush through crowded crosswalks, and the sound of seungmin’s voice as he tells the barista your order without having to ask you first has your heart racing like a kid falling in love for the first time. seungmin teases you as per usual, but he slips in sweet compliments more often. the wind will blow your jacket awry, and seungmin will exclaim, “hah! you look so dumb like that!” he’s laughing while he fixes your jacket, and, once he’s satisfied, he whispers, almost unaware of the truth he’s spilling right in front of you, “ah, now you’re as  perfect as always.” a blush creeps onto your skin, but seungmin is too lost in his thoughts of i’ll never get tired of fixing things for them. it’s an honor to be close enough to know when their shoelaces are untied or their soup is too hot to notice the pink that tinges your face. when you’re nearing the end of your date, a claw machine outside a shop catches your eye. you tell seungmin that to be a “proper partner” he should try to win a plushie for you. he rolls his eyes, saying, “if you ask me nicely enough, i’ll consider it.” he’s feeling extra soft today, so only the slightest bit of aegyo is required to sway him. after many, many attempts, he manages to catch the toy of your choice, reminding you that he gets custody of it “if you don’t take care of it properly.” you tease him for being a helicopter parent and clutch the plushie close to your chest as you walk side by side to the final stop of your valentine’s day adventure. little do you know, seungmin is watching you carefully, lovestruck eyes shining, thinking i hope this plushie keeps them company whenever i’m away. i might even have an easier time falling asleep if i know they’re able to hold onto something they love, but i’ll never rest easy unless we’re back in each other’s arms.

jeongin♡‧₊˚

jeongin doesn’t want to take valentine’s day too seriously, but he will never miss an opportunity to show his appreciation for you. he wants to spend the day with you to celebrate your relationship, so he figures out the ultimate valentine’s day date: watching bad, cheesy rom coms together. at first, you’re a little confused, but he quickly explains that the point of this marathon is to cringe together at how ridiculous the writing and acting is. the idea sounds hilarious, and the glint of excited mischief in your partner’s eyes is more than enough to convince you. you two go all out, collecting the comfiest blankets, wearing the ultimate loungewear–matching, of course, because jeongin insists on taking fit pics “for posterity”–and selecting the most iconic films available. the air is sweet and the energy is lighthearted as you and jeongin are cuddled up on the sofa in your favorite spots, laughing and groaning at whatever antics the characters are up to. whenever you react, he watches you fondly and smiles because i love the sound of their laugh and the way they scrunch their nose when they cringe and i could watch them forever and never get enough of it but will tease you about being dramatic whenever you catch him staring. you two can’t resist repeating the worst lines of the films to each other with the most exaggerated tones and facial expressions because the laughter in those moments is wildly contagious. it’s all fun and games, but jeongin definitely gets blushy and flustered when you bat your eyelashes while saying an overly sweet confession line. he’ll never admit that you made him swoon with something as cliché as that, though he can’t hide the stunned look that crosses his face when he realizes how fast his heart is beating when you look at him like that. you tease him, heart fluttering when he rolls his eyes and poking his dimple when he smiles sheepishly because he is so beautiful when he’s happy like this, and i am so happy with him. jeongin fights with all his might to stop himself from completely melting at your cuteness, but that doesn’t stop him from melting into your touch. he sighs in relief when his heart settles down as you two resume your casual cuddling, and he grins because even if the writers didn’t get it perfectly right, i finally understand the kind of love these movies are about.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

#stray kids #stray kids fic #skz #skz fic #boyfriend!straykids #boyfriend!skz #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids au #skz au #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #lee know x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han x reader #jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #i.n. x reader #jeongin x reader #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin

[limbus-limousine]

Keep saying this but I loooove how relationships are talked about and portrayed in Demian (1919). Like. To an insane degree that I can barely put into words. It bothers me how overlooked it is sometimes? People always have a tendency to shove fictional relationships into very cramped, defined little boxes and then fight over the plastic label.

The way relationships are seen in Demian is one of the main reasons why I hold this book so close to my heart, because it was the first time I saw my thoughts put into words that I could analyze and study. That and the whole premise of how growing up in a religiously oppressive environment disguised with love and purity will inevitably affect how you process your feelings toward others... Makes me relate to Sinclair a lot. And it feels like a gross oversimplification to restrict his feelings as platonic or romantic.

I've talked about how I see Demian and Eva as extremely related entities before, how they are essentially the same. But I think their distinction as physical characters is very useful for the storytelling and symbolism. As I see it, Demian (the book) is all about love. It's not just about finding love in someone else but also finding love in yourself, in what you do and where you are in your life. This might be more of a personal interpretation, but to me, Eva represents a very, very specific feeling, in a way it's a culmination, a point where you finally stop to think and say to yourself "maybe I am okay. This is what okay feels like to me". Freudian influence aside... The motherly themes hit me really hard for this very reason:

When I read how Sinclair slowly fell out with his family, it spoke of a very specific experience. A very specific realization. "This deal isn't that of a bad friendship or acquaintance. I won't have a second chance. Simply because of how I was born, where I was born, there are human experiences that I'll never be able to know, and I am powerless to change that", you cannot choose your family, your mother, right? It's what you get, and you see around you what could've been but never was, and it makes you feel weak.

That's why Frau Eva is such an important figure. Because that is when Sinclair finds his family again, in a way. Why should blood matter so much? Sure, there's a biological connection, it's also been studied that romantic relationships reach their "high" during their earlier days due to hormones and neurotransmitters, right, "love at first sight", but those will eventually cease production as all does. It is your choice to nurture that relationship and to cherish it, to keep and to care for it. Blood does not matter, home is a person and it's right next to me, right now. I think that is what Frau Eva is, as a whole. And allowing that feeling to coexist with the platonic and the romantic is very important as I see it. One of the main problems of this motherly dynamic is the power difference, what makes Sinclair struggle in his childhood is the constant sensation of being watched, of being subjected to severe judgement. Frau Eva is supposed to remove that factor, she listens and she welcomes any thought or idea, there isn't fear of rejection or punishment, that's what makes it feel "like home". That was, kind of, the last step to reach the fulfillment Sinclair needed. I see Eva as the "destination" of this whole thing.

And Demian, he is the journey. One of the biggest mistakes one can make is to dismiss the process and work that goes into an achievement, because it is important. There is no Eva without Demian, they are intrinsic by nature. And journey is something that never leaves you. Even when Sinclair reaches his destination, he never stops caring about Demian. He visits Eva and he visits Demian, even if he has to walk through horrible weather, he speaks of his dreams to them, and he sits at the table and eats with them. Because during your journey you gain so many things you never expected, and at the end of the road, they become part of your fulfillment and needs as much as the main achievement is.

What Sinclair obtains from Demian and Eva, and everything in between them, is a unique relationship, deeply fulfilling, trusting, reassuring, a place where you know you can come to, even when you're at your lowest. Eva capitalizes on the genuine care, nurturing qualities, but Demian, too is a mentor, although I find falconer to be a better comparison. He helps the sparrowhawk grow its clipped wings, but in turn, he shall not stop it from flying, only the bird itself can choose to return the falconer's affections. But at the end of the day, all the falconer wishes for is to see him take flight. Sinclair obtains everything: friendship, camaraderie, acceptance, relief of a deep rooted guilt, no judgement for his human desires, the care and trust he lost from his mother, and something to look forward to after waking up in the mornings.

At the end of the book, Sinclair is separated from both of them, as I've said, they are intrinsic. But of course, they don't fully leave. As I see it, the kiss being from Eva means that your achievement is and will always be a sweet thought. Something you hold dear, that you can think of to comfort yourself. But Demian is there to deliver it and to fix Sinclair's wounds because journey is experience. It is what strengthens you and gives you the tools to face future endeavors. And it feels safe... You are finally safe within yourself.

But what about the scary factor, though? Because that is present too in both Demian and Eva (which I happen to really enjoy, as well). As always, I think it's a balance. It's good to know fear, it's a human emotion like any other. But the fear that radiates from them is more... Animal-like. The fear Sinclair once felt was a deep rooted terror that was born from something divine. You're being watched. You're being judged. You're wrong. You're a sinner. That's scary. Because it's telling you that the danger comes from yourself. When you see a beast staring into you, you don't feel self conscious, you don't feel repulsed, you feel the most natural shape that fear has. Beautiful things are scary. A snake can be scary. The stars can be scary. But it's not their fault, and it's not your fault either, it's just how it's meant to be. Because all feelings —love, anger, fear, sadness— and more, they are all important, they are all natural. But natural feelings can be beautiful. Artificial feelings make you fear something you've never witnessed, they make your stomach churn at the thought of yourself and they make you cry for something you haven't done. And most people around you live holding onto relationships that are, fundamentally, held by artificial feelings.

That is... Most of what I interpret from this book. And, god. It feels more like the book read me and not the other way around. I think I've truly found a bigger respite in art thanks to this novel. I have wanted to see the same beauty in the naturally grotesque... Learn about myself until rotting, flesh, maggots become just as beautiful and full of meaning as spring rivers and flowering plains, and for anger and fear to turn into something I can love and cherish like I do my inner child. Although they, too, have surely grown up.

That's it. I wanna play toysssss

#rambling #demian (1919) #I FUCKING LOVE THID BOOK!!!! FUCL????!!!!!! #Ramble ramble ramble again because i thought about them for a bit too long again #I hope you guys know that i have this wall of text as a constant inner monologue whenever i draw #anything demian (1919) related #including limbus fanart #(all my limbusclair fanart has references from my fucke up mind) #have a wonderful day hesse fandom