thelibrarian1895

[thelibrarian1895]

Gotham Museums

I'm going to claim that Gotham, with all of its dramatic architecture and general theatricality, has a very strong art scene. In an effort to curb the doctorate students from going off the deep end, Gotham invests pretty heavily into the arts. It backfires a bit because Mad Hatter but it was a worthy attempt.

That being said, there are a lot of rich people in Gotham, rich people who might be willing to patronize Gotham based artists. And among artists, a common exercise to develop their artistic skills would be to copy the great masters that came before them. Of course the students don't go out of their way to make their copies into real forgeries. That would be wrong. But sometimes you just have to try painting Starry Night using the same sort of paint that would have been used by Van Gogh, you know? And it's surprisingly easy to find poplar wood, lead based paint, badger fur paint brushes, and other period appropriate materials to use in the various art stores in Gotham.

However, this is Gotham.

Every art museum in Gotham contains, at minimum, one forgery of some famous piece of art. The Mona Lisa briefly went missing from the Louvre and it popped up in a Gotham museum.

And it was also found in a second Gotham museum.

And a third.

And then the Mona Lisa was suddenly back on the wall in the Louvre as though it had never been moved.

Only one of the Mona Lisas found in Gotham was proven to be a forgery because the art student who created it incorporated their signature into the work. That student received a significant number of commissions after they were questioned by various authorities. The museums in Gotham still maintain that they have the real Mona Lisa in their possession.

The same thing has happened to nearly every major work of art in the world and many minor ones as well. What is perceived to be the original will briefly disappear from its location. Then a copy or multiple copies and something that might be the original all pop up in various museums in Gotham. The stolen piece of art will then suddenly reappear either in the museum it was stolen from or in an equally prestigious museum in the work of art's country of origin.

It's become very trendy in Gotham to have at least one replica painting or piece of jewelry, or pottery, or whatever made by the artist who had their copy featured among the other versions of the work of art.

Who is the one who does this? No one knows. Art historians, art experts, every government in the world, and museum curators are going nuts. Artists are making bank. And there is a museum in Gotham that boasts the Mona Lisa, the Declaration of Independence, the phoenix crown, kusanagi, Elgin marbles, and several thought to be lost Fabergé eggs. This museum insists that every piece is completely authentic and no they aren't going to give them back.

#only in gotham #gotham is weird #they like their art #and they like crime #forgery 101 is an introductory art class at any gotham university

[thelibrarian1895]

What to do when you leave the League of Assassins?

You go to Red Robin.

So let's say that Ra's lost a significant portion of his organization not just because Tim blew up his bases, but also because quite a few of those survivors decided to defect and follow Tim instead.

Tim is initially unsure about what to do with several hundred escapees from a cult but eventually figures things out.

His first step? He sends his ninja to be recruited by Jason.

Does Jason know that a significant portion of his goons are defects from the LOA? No, not for sure. He's absolutely suspicious but he cannot confirm.

Does Jason know that Tim sent the ninja? Not at all. He suspects they're from Talia and the ninja do nothing to disabuse him of that belief. Their loyalty is towards Tim after all.

Does Jason send them away? No, he's not about to let a bunch of sketchy ninja run loose in Gotham. Plus, the more skilled help he has, the more of a pain in the side he can be towards the Black Mask and the more territory he can hold.

Is Tim going to tell Jason? No, no he is not.

Tim, in the meantime, is busy making them new IDs since all of them are undocumented, ensuring they have regular paychecks on top of what Jason pays them, PTO, and health insurance. The PTO earns Tim their undying loyalty. He also recommends that they look into more sedate hobbies when they have the time and continue or begin their schooling. A significant number of them take up knitting and crocheting.

As a result, Tim knows what's going on in Jason's organization at any given time. The ninja are getting appropriate exercise and being acclimated to a relatively normal life. And when they're ready for something slower than Jason's reinvention of the mafia/mob, Tim is ready to help them on their next stage in reclaiming their life.

#batman #tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #gotham #ra's al ghul #league of assassins #ra's al ghul is a terrible boss #jason and tim try to be good bosses

[thelibrarian1895]

Sleepy vigilante

Tim Drake has canonically fallen asleep on a roller coaster.

It's pretty well accepted that Tim Drake Wayne is tired. He has a lot going on and a lot to deal with all the time. He's also probably so overworked that if he took a vacation he'd feel too guilty about leaving work behind to actually relax and take care of himself.

That being said, he is still tired. And prone to falling asleep at odd times. Once he became majority, controlling shareholder of Wayne Enterprises, he also became a fairly public figure, and people would notice a kid who falls asleep in a situation where normally adrenaline is flowing.

So, the public believes that Tim Drake Wayne has undiagnosed narcolepsy.

Tim finds out these rumors/beliefs. Tim will absolutely use it to his chaotic advantage. He won't actually be able to sleep at the points because he doesn't feel safe enough but it's an amusing way to annoying people he doesn't like(Luthor mostly) who are giving public speeches and another layer to protect his night job. After all, how could someone with narcolepsy be a vigilante?

That being said, he does dodge being actually diagnosed and he plays off anyone who makes suggestions about it as them promoting improved healthcare for Gotham as a whole.

#tim drake #batfamily #gotham #tim drake as luthor's business nemesis #since luthor has enough free time to annoy everyone #and since bruce and oliver aren't stepping up #it's up to tim

[thelibrarian1895]

If your sibling is a rogue then make the best of it

I would like to think that Jason is very Hondo Onakha about kidnapping, very dramatic, fairly polite/chill to the one he kidnapped, minimal trauma, very professional overall but also very theatrical. Out of anyone in Gotham to have as your kidnapper, Jason aka the Red Hood is by far the very best person.

ALL of Jason's family whether they be legal, biological, emotional, or honorary, will absolutely try to convince Jason to kidnap them to get them out of some stupid civilian event. Whether or not Jason will go along with it will depend on several factors such as:

Does this benefit Bruce and get him out of a boring civilian event too? Then so sorry, you're just going to have to suffer!

How busy is Jason at the moment? Because being a drug lord and vigilante is actually pretty time consuming and kidnapping can be a lot of work for potentially very little gain.

What does Jason get out of it? Yes money is all well and good but Jason is rich by his own merits and can just steal from Bruce whenever, there's got to be more to it!

When is the last time Jason has kidnapped this sibling? He can't do it too often or it gets less effective. He has a reputation to maintain after all!

It may also depend on which sib is asking and what they need to be "saved" from.

Dick asks to be kidnapped from a bachelor auction charity? Ha! No chance, sorry Dickie! He will be there though and take pictures and laugh. (And also join all the other siblings who are stalking Dick and the winner of the auction in the event the winner wasn't one of the Bats or an invited member of the JL or Titans using Bruce's money) Dick asking to be kidnapped from a gala or some opening night of trendy place he's at to maintain civilian status? Maybe but the bribe has to be considerable. And it cannot benefit Bruce. Dick's normal bribes consist of taking some tedious part of an investigation over for Jason or getting intel from JL databases for Jason and the Outlaws.

Cass? Anytime and always, favorite sister who can beat him up has special kidnapping privileges, though they did stop for a very long time when some weirdos put out the theory that the Red Hood was in love with Gotham's Princess. (idk if Cass is considered Gotham's Princess in any version of canon but she is to me) Cass does still repay Jason in the form of Black Bat keeping an eye on Jason's territory when he's out of Gotham for any significant length of time.

Tim? He does owe the kid for several incidents and Tim normally doesn't abusive the privilege so he'd probably do it but there does have to be some sort of bribe for appearances sake. Tim usually gets Jason to agree in exchange for pictures of Batman tripping over his cape or in some other ridiculous position. Bonus in Jason's mind if Tim requests a kidnapping when Bruce is off world or otherwise occupied, therefore giving Brucie Wayne's reputation a hit. However if Tim wants to be kidnapped from something where Bruce is also suffering as Brucie, Tim is SOL (Tim might get revenge by getting Kon to wear Red Hood gear and "kidnap" Tim from the event if Jason refused. Kon will do it because Tim asked and also I would like to think that Kon isn't too fond of the guy who beat his best friend/boyfriend nearly to death and will mess with him if given the chance) Since kidnapping normally interferes with things that Tim wants to do however, he may instead bribe Jason to not kidnap a sibling that has asked to be kidnapped. Jason usually obliges this no kidnapping request.

Barbara? Sorry, no, he doesn't want to stress the Commissioner like that. He will, however, kidnap other people for her if she asks.

Stephanie? No Stephanie, he doesn't care what you offer, he's not kidnapping you so you can avoid your finals! Stephanie has, however, worn various wigs and been various hostages who died at the hands of the Hood in order to maintain his reputation. She gets paid in baked goods for her service.

Damian? Damian considered the idea ridiculous and proclaimed he'd never stoop so low and he would carry out his duties no matter how onerous! Damian then had to go to a Gotham gala. Damian is trying very hard to figure out a suitable bribe to get the Red Hood to kidnap him often enough that Bruce will be forced to keep Damian away from galas because of the ongoing security threat. So far it hasn't worked because Damian is very bad at bribing Jason, Jason thinks Damian forced to interact with normal people is funny, and Tim is successfully bribing Jason to ignore Damian's bribery attempts. The Red Hood has "kidnapped" Damian once, as a treat, when he thought the kid was looking particularly down about something.

Duke? Duke has yet to be made to attend any society gatherings as the solo Wayne (normally that falls to Bruce, Dick, or Tim) and can usually be spotted hanging out with Cass by the snack table at any gala or trendy event. He's not at Cass's level of reading body language but he's pretty darn good and he and Cass have reached a new level of being able to avoid annoying rich people while at parties. Duke is Cass's favorite gala buddy. Duke hasn't felt the need to ask Jason to kidnap him yet but Jason will allow the first one to be free of charge, no questions asked. After that Duke hasn't figured out suitable bribes for Jason but has realized that all of his siblings are hyper competitive and that Jason would absolutely wager a kidnapping in a competition or for a bet.

Alfred? If Alfred asked then Jason would without any caveat. Alfred will not ask however but might ask on behalf of someone else and Jason will comply.

Bruce? Jason just laughs. And if someone else is planning on kidnapping Brucie Wayne from a particularly boring business meeting or gala? Jason will actively thwart the kidnapping to force Bruce to continue to deal with social activity.

Jason usually splits a portion of the ransom money into bonuses for his goons since their original job outline is drug dealer/enforcer/mobster and not kidnapper. If they're going to get major felonies on their records, better make it financially worth it. All of Jason's goons are masked during any kidnapping event. The rest of the ransom money goes towards a charity of Jason's choosing.

Jason has also kidnapped people who are not his family or family adjacent. Barbara thought her dad could use a vacation at one point but he didn't have the PTO for it so Barbara had the Red Hood kidnap him. James Gordon experienced the weirdest kidnapping of his life that included some of the best food he'd ever eaten, an extremely soft bed, his pile of books that were on his reading list, and access to the sports games he'd meant to watch. The ransom was successfully paid after he had a week to relax. Gordon was then, as per protocol, allowed time to relax after his "harrowing" event. Barbara forced him to take the time. Strangely enough, some politicians who had been giving the Commissioner a hard time were suddenly very quiet when James Gordon came back, well rested, well fed, and ready to get back to the grind. It, of course, had nothing to do with the very polite emails with pictures attached that they all received while the Commissioner was very publicly out of the way.

Oliver Queen, when he was visiting Gotham, was kidnapped by the Red Hood. He was released after the ransom was paid and specifically he was released back in Star City. Mr. Queen was unavailable for comment after the incident but some sources say that he was cursing bats for some reason.

Lois Lane found herself kidnapped by Red Hood and ransomed by the Daily Planet while Superman was off world. Lois Lane returned safely to Metropolis and published a shocking expose on Luthor's latest scheme. Her sources for the article remain a secret.

Bruce is very grumpy about the whole thing, not just because Jason won't help his poor father get out of the stupid social event, but also because Jason being technically a rogue like this makes it very hard for him to successfully argue that Jason should let himself regain legal living status.

#bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #gotham #stephanie brown #batfam #duke thomas #damian wayne al ghul #cassandra wayne #red hood #brucie wayne #barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #timkon #kon el kent #conner kent #tim is my favorite #but he wouldn't be the only one that jason kidnaps #james gordon #lois lane #oliver queen

[thelibrarian1895]

So this makes Bruce the DM?

Steph, with her entire Barbarian weaponry and heavy armor: *clang clang* HEY BRUCE

Bruce the Evil Bat King: The wind is kinda strong today isn't it-

Inspired by: Oneshotquester on Tiktok

#batfam #Bruce the ultimate multirole player NPCs #the cost of being a wizard #someone said that Jason took the wheel of the royal carriage off lol #bruce wayne #richard grayson #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #duke thomas #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #batfam and dnd #dnd #dungeons and dragons #hopefully they grabbed a few diamonds while they were there

[thelibrarian1895]

Gotham Athletes

Despite producing a majority of the county's best, arguably the world's best, martial artists and gymnasts, athletes from Gotham are not allowed to compete in international events, particularly if it's a contact/combat event like martial arts. This is because 1) the various rogue chemical attacks will pop up on a drug screening test as enhancing drugs and 2) in combat/contact events Gothamites tend to be...overly aggressive.

Gotham has protested that no one has been permanently crippled for life. Various sports committees do not care or listen. Gotham is on very thin ice when it comes to national events or even inter city events. This is one of the reasons Gotham Knights frequently loses, too many penalties.

Certain drugs used in chemical attacks by rogues, particularly the Joker and Scarecrow, do in fact work as performance enhancers. Generally it just doesn't do the one suffering any good since they're dealing with things like full body paralysis or mental torture. The antidotes relieve the suffering but everything still shows up in blood tests after the fact. It actually takes a year or more for certain factors to be entirely removed. The batfamily cannot compete in any sort of official event because of constant exposure despite their best efforts to avoid via rebreathers and taking out villains before chemicals can be released. Jason is particularly NOT happy about this since there are potentially addictive components and that is a major trigger for Jason. Scarecrow suffers since no one will let Jason near the Joker. It does give Dick Grayson, noted gymnast, a good excuse for not competing in the Olympics even though everyone knows he'd sweep the event.

#batman #gotham #athletes hate gotham rogues #joker #scarecrow #don't do drugs #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #gotham knights

[thelibrarian1895]

Every time I see this it brings me joy

The sword said so…

#batbrats #dcu #ALDKJFALSKDFJ THAT ONE TIME TIM WAS ON-PAGE CONFIRMED ONLY PURE OF HEART BITCH IN GOTHAM #tim drake #azreal #gotham #tim is my favorite

[thelibrarian1895]

Arkham Inmates

Given the number of times the rogues gallery of Gotham escapes from Arkham I'm a little surprised that at least one of them *cough*joker*cough* hasn't been air tagged or something. Surely there's some sort of subdermal tracker that someone would stick on that clown so when he escapes they can find him fast and get him back in containment faster. Granted that this wouldn't be a good measure for shapeshifters but surely for the clown at least there would be a point where he's unconscious long enough for someone to jab a tracker in him that he won't dig out later.

#batman #gotham #arkham #joker #gotham rogues #I hate the joker #I understand batman's no kill policy #and I agree #but there must be an easier way to keep him contained #or find him faster so he's less of a hassle

[thelibrarian1895]

The Wayne Family *snap snap*

In the DC world before Martha and Thomas Wayne were killed in an alley, they were incredibly in love. They were also very Gotham.

Rather than the Addams family existing in the dc universe as actual people, Martha and Thomas Wayne were the inspirations for the Addams Family in the dc world. The cartoonist who created the Addams family cartoon strip in the dc world went to a Gotham gala and saw Martha and Thomas, saw Thomas being an absolute simp for his beloved wife. He then witnessed a sword fight that broke out during the gala because Gotham. No one in Gotham bats an eye at a sword fight no matter the time period. No one in Gotham bats an eye at anything because even before the Bat came about, Gotham was still Gotham and people roll with the weird in Gotham. Sword fights were normal. Sword fights are still normal. Different types of sword fighting are electives you can take instead of gym in some Gotham high schools. The cartoonist got out of Gotham by the skin of his teeth and vowed never to return. Tiny Bruce was happier when he was little but he was still a Gothamite and absolutely inspired tiny Wednesday Addams who, by Gotham standards, is quite a pleasant and normal little girl.

Grown up Bruce deliberately avoids Addams family related media. His kids are all amused by the show if/when they see any of it because the Addams really are quite tame by Gotham standard.

#bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #the addams family #gotham #gotham is weird #thomas wayne #martha wayne

[thelibrarian1895]

Martha Wayne Enterprises

Martha Wayne was 100% the one who built Wayne Enterprises up to eventually become essentially Gotham's best/only employer and employer of a lot of the DC world. Thomas was busy being a doctor. Martha was a genius in the realm of finance and general business. Given that presumably the vibe of their timeframe, and I say vibe because comic timelines are really more of a wibbely wibbley ball of timey wimey stuff that imparts a vibe to a general generation, and given the vibe of the Wayne parent era was presumably more overtly sexist than later vibe times, most thought Thomas the brains behind the operation.

This is not true.

It was Martha.

Thomas had surgeon stuff to do. If Martha told him to sign something, he signed. Anyone who asked him about a business venture was directed to Martha. I insist that Thomas Wayne was a simp for his super genius wife and anyone that argues otherwise will be ignored. Even if he wasn't devoted to her, he was smart enough to know to listen to an expert in their area of expertise regardless of societies preconceived notions. Yes the Wayne Family had generational wealth built up and Thomas contributed to some degree with being a doctor who had no student debt but Martha had charities to run and needed a way to fund them and it was just easier to make WE into a quadrillion dollar company than host galas and fundraisers all the time. Those were really more for Thomas to get funds for the clinic anyway. I am going to claim that Martha was, like her son, more introverted than not.

#martha wayne #the wayne family #thomas wayne #wayne enterprises #batfamily

[thelibrarian1895]

Gotham's Most Popular Scam

After the first instance of widespread death from Joker venom and the discovery that the perpetrator, known as “The Joker”, would be locked away in Arkham Asylum, to say the people of Gotham were incensed was like saying Gotham had a few cloudy days. Protests arose, both non-violent and very violent, petitions created, and several amateur assassination attempts were made, only to fail in various bloody fashions.

The second time the bastard’s plans result in widespread death and general maiming he was, yet again, sentenced to Arkham. As soon as the judge’s gavel fell, various crowdfunding efforts popped up to support whatever politician claimed they’d deal with the Joker, they’d deal with the morass of laws that let such creatures get sent to be “helped” instead of put down like rabid dogs.

Over twenty deaths occurred the next time and they were considered the lucky ones after the incident. More riots occurred when the bastard was sent to Arkham again. Arkham found that security that failed to keep people in also failed to keep people out. This was particularly evident every time they found the Joker playing with another corpse in his cell and laughing.

Some politicians, after they allow people to witness them drink a carefully calculated amount of alcohol in certain settings, claimed that if the law couldn’t work, a professional could, with enough private donations. After every outbreak of death caused by the bastard, it resurged as the most popular scam to run in Gotham. So many wanted so badly to believe that this time the politician will fulfill their promise and not use the money to buy a new sportscar.

The bastard escaped again.

This time the money will hire a mercenary willing to pull the trigger and not just fund another gang.

Sentenced to Arkham until rehabilitation.

This time they wouldn’t be sold out to the police by one of their fellow fundraisers who’d disappeared with the money.

The judge's gavel fell.

This time the money would bring about justice, or at least revenge, and not further disappointment.

This time….

This time…

This time…

And that's where I fizzled out in this, I put it up on AO3 anyway. I have a different name there.

#batman #gotham #dc joker #fic snippet #I hate the joker #every other gotham rogue is more interesting than joker #joker you're not funny

[thelibrarian1895]

To be fair to Bruce, Jason and Stephanie's destruction of all of Black Mask's properties/drug stashes were very obviously not the actions of Roman Sionis and he was, unfortunately, was insured up to the eyeballs. He got a significant payout from the insurance companies he used, who were too scared to delay or to try to loophole out of payments, and so Jason and Stephanie barely made a dent in his bottom line. He also still owns the places where the warehouses and condemned buildings once stood. To Stephanie and Jason's credit however, the glitter will remain.

Bruce's paranoia is also working on overdrive with the new neighbors, neighbors being an extremely relative term since the new Drake Botanical Garden are about five miles away, all being assassins even if they and their employers, Tim and Damian, all insist that their work history has no mention of the League of Assassins. It also doesn't help that school tours will start up at the Garden/Preserve. The whole thing makes Bruce extremely tense. (The name of the Garden/Preserve was chosen out of a hat. No one will confess to adding this particular name to the hat. No one is happy with it either)

Lex Luthor has a bounty on Tim's head, Tim Drake-Wayne's head and not Red Robin's, and Bruce is not at all happy about that.

He has no objection to Duke's shenanigans while he was "dead". He has to pretend to disapprove though because bad enough his kids managed to become vigilantes despite his protests, he is not going to encourage further crime!

He does strongly suspect Dick of having killed the Joker primarily because Dick didn't do some outrageous stunt like his siblings. Dick is planning for the next time. It will involve confetti.

He only knows that Cassandra went to Themyscira and sulks about it, worried that the Amazons will steal his only daughter that acknowledges she's his daughter. He does not know that she confronted Ra's since Cass made the unusual choice to be subtle.

What Ra's permanently lost would be writer's choice. Personally I like to imagine Cass did something to try to curb Ra's propensity for creeping on her family.

Bruce is the restraining bolt

Let's say that Bruce "dies" again. Tim, of course, figures it's another temporary thing and bonus he doesn't need to risk another organ to prove it this time. That being said, Bruce isn't around to stop them now. Dick doesn't feel the need to be the dad this time since Bruce will be back. He's the big brother, the babysitter at best. Jason has never felt the need to step up into a parental role for any of his sibs before and he's not going to stop now. Cass won't kill, that is her line, beyond that, she's not anyone's parent either. Tim is one bad day away from being a supervillain, he seriously needs a vacation but at the same time he needs something that will keep him busy or he will get paranoid (thanks B for the trauma) and so he's not going to stop anyone, Duke doesn't have the experience to know when or if he should stop any of his sibs, steph and barbara are staying out of it as while they are family they consider themselves cousins at best no matter what B says, and no one is going to let Damian boss them around.

That being established, B is gone, Alfred is fretting but not inclined to stop anyone anyway, the kids decide that while the bat is away...

When Bruce returns, Alfred is just returning from a spa trip his beloved grandchildren insisted that he go on since he deserved a nice break and they even investigated to make sure the spa wasn't a scam or front! While Alfred was gone and Bruce was "dead", all Black Mask's warehouses had been mysteriously destroyed with large explosions that Bruce had previously forbidden because he was worried about collateral damage since some of those warehouses were sandwiched by other storage facilities and places where people squatted. (Steph and Jason, both very affronted because they are professionals B! And yes, there were also glitter bombs involved, it made the fire extra pretty with the different colors).

Furthermore, Lex Luthor is no longer the majority shareholder of his own company anymore, that would be Tim now, and all of Lex's employees are rejoicing since they're all getting a pay raise that brings them from the legal bare minimum to not just a living wage but twice that plus benefits even for those who aren't full timers (which is basically everyone, lex never wanted to get benefits for anyone). Lex is also being investigated for embezzling, money laundering, domestic and international terrorism, and the trafficking of minors (kon). Lex chose a very bad time to make Kon sad and Tim took that personally.

Bruce also discovered that Tim's childhood home, aka the drake's old place next door for the given value of next door, has been demolished and that whole area is now a botanical garden and registered wildlife sanctuary. (Damian with assistance and permission from Tim since technically the land was in Tim's name, Damian persuaded Poison Ivy to help while also monitoring to ensure she didn't slip in anything detrimental and also breaking up the exotic animal smuggling ring that B had been trying to keep from him to prevent this very thing. Tim, in the meantime, just happened to have a number of people on hand more than happy to work in a botanical garden/wildlife sanctuary and no, none of those people were ever formerly ninja who answered to Ra's before realizing that Red Robin was a far better employer, why would you ever think they were?)

And of course, the Joker is dead. None of his kids are fessing up to this. If pressed, they will cry, even Jason, and say that they thought Joker killed their dad and they wished it had been them because they missed him so much! (It was Dick and Barbara, Babs faked the paperwork for Dick to go in as an orderly, Dick, in disguise, gave the Joker altered medication via injection and made sure to get some air bubbles in for good measure, official COD was a totally natural brain aneurysm, so sad, no autopsy needed, burn the body)

Duke was a bit of a wild card and ended up hanging out with Selina, picking up a few extra skills, and using those skills to break into various mansions and apartments of the filthy rich to steal back stolen art and artifacts and return them to museums in their country of origin so they can be enjoyed by everyone (he watched indiana jones recently and the "it belongs in a museum" popped into his head a lot, he did wear a particular hat while he was committing his heists) It was nice potential step mother and step son bonding time

And finally, Cass causes Ra's Al Ghul to lose a particular appendage, one that the lazarus pit hasn't been able to grow back for him thanks to a little consultation with Constantine beforehand. She then went to hang out at Themyscira and got some very pretty bracelets.

Bruce is thinking very hard about just turning around. He takes a nap instead and then he lectures his beloved nutcases about personal safety, the law, respecting what is essentially dibs on certain super villains, and all the other boring stuff he's tried to impose on them over the years.

#bruce wayne #batfamily #batman #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #crack fic idea #cassandra wayne #lex luthor #the bats are chaos gremlins

[thelibrarian1895]

Red Hood and bookstores

Red Hood aka Jason Todd is a crime/drug lord. This is established.

I would like to suggest that Jason launders the drug money almost exclusively through used bookstores he opens up throughout the poorest places in Gotham since it's not like he needs to make a profit with the stores so he can afford to do things like price used college textbooks at fifty cents a pop. They are open 24/7 because Jason understands the need to get the next book in a series at 3am when you've just finished the one you have. He also understands how it can be hard to find someplace warm to hang out in in the wee hours, especially when you're a kid dodging Gotham CPS aka basically human trafficking. Each one also has a tiny cafe area and employees are allowed unlimited coffee/tea/hot chocolate. Kids also learn that they can get the unsold baked goods for free when the goods are judged to be almost stale and thus unable to be sold. This is helpful to him since it means that he has a place to send the results of too much stress baking and if he has to bribe Tim into helping him deal with the ledgers of the stores all he has to do is promise Tim free drinks/snacks from any of the bookstores for a certain length of time as long as everything comes up clean in any audit that quarter. He'd go to Barbara but she's harder to bribe.

The bookshops are also useful because they are nice places for any of his goons to work when they want to get out of the goon life for whatever reason while they look for something more long term.

All of the bookstores have different names. Jason has gathered a number of favors from his family for, or was allowed to offer in place of a favor, the right to name one of the bookstores.

#tim drake #jason todd #batfamily #jason is a bookworm #this is established #red hood #gotham #jason todd stress bakes #this is not established but I like it #barbara gordon #I like the idea of a bookstore open 24/7 #jason todd can be a good boss #someone come up with bookstore names

[thelibrarian1895]

Bats and Time Travel

First, a disclaimer, I have only some minimal level of Booster Gold knowledge.

That being said, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that detective work isn't his strong suit, or the strong suit of most time travelers. Why would it be when they can just peak into the past and see what happened? So when something comes up and it's less straightforward than obvious bad guy needs a beating, Booster is at least smart enough to get expert help. On occasion that expert help has to go through time with him. He has to be very careful with this because no one wants another Flashpoint and he doesn't want to clean up any time shenanigans. The same goes for any other time related incident.

Bats are, of course, the go to for anyone who needs expert detective assistance. You can generally just grab any Bat and they can fill in as a detective though some are happier about it than others. Some are also more suited to time travel than others.

Batman works out well enough. He can be more or less trusted not to go off and mess with the timestream and cause some sort of catastrophe that takes forever to fix. Things get a little dicey if any case brings the Bat around Gotham or near one of his kids in the past. It becomes an exercise of restraint for both involved because B very much wants to go to his child and protect them/lecture them/hug them depending on the timeframe or at bare minimum loom over them. Booster has to sometimes physically get in the way to stop this. It doesn't always work. B is at least polite enough to fix the mess. Batman has trouble with alternate universe or alternate timeline adventures since he has to so often beat other versions of himself up and comes back extra broody. His family appreciate when he gets to the self reflection and determination to improve part after he's done brooding.

Nightwing is good to work with during time related incidents. Very professional, very cheerful, but still kept out of Gotham and very reluctantly kept from his past self because Nightwing really wants to give his past self a pep talk more often than not. Nightwing has, however, written letters for his past self that has resulted in a few branching new timelines or a mess that he was polite enough to help fix. Nightwing is allowed on alternate universe adventures which lets him give those pep talks to himself that he knew he desperately needed/wanted at those various ages.

Red Hood is not allowed on time travel cases because Jason has poor impulse control and has on more than one occasion killed someone who would commit a terrible crime in the future and ended up causing decades worth of a mess that needed to be cleaned up. He is responsible enough to fix his own messes and is only allowed now in alternate universe adventures. He's good at alternate universe adventures and they've helped him remember to rely less on hearsay and more on solid evidence.

Red Robin is Booster's favorite to work with because the kid can be snarky if caught in the right mood and the worst he has to worry about Red Robin when it comes to damaging the timeline is Red Robin taking pictures of various incidents. Red Robin is also polite enough to direct all attention Booster's way which appeases Booster's attention seeking nature. This is how Tim has the best collection of Batman tripping on his cape pictures and other similarly embarrassing incidents of his friends and family. Tim is allowed on alternate universe adventures and again returns with more pictures that his friends and family can't prove aren't them. He is developing an alternate tim support group to try to prevent additional gun batmen timelines. And, as he tells his brothers on occasion, so he can have intelligent conversation with family when Cassandra is away.

Black Bat would be Booster's favorite to work with except he's extremely intimidated by her, even more so than he can be by Batman. She has deliberately allowed herself to be seen in the past on occasion and those sightings in certain conspiracy forums as a cryptid. She's very proud of it. She is also a cryptid in other alternate timelines but is no longer allowed to go to alternate timelines after she has had to be restrained from adopting/kidnapping alternate versions of her younger self or her siblings.

Spoiler is also not allowed on time travel cases for the same reason as Jason, poor impulse control. She may have set off glitter bombs that resulted in a timeline mess almost as impossible to clean up after as the glitter. Her ability to help with alternate universe adventures is under review because, again, glitter bombs.

Robin aka Damian has worked in a timestream case once and came back with a dodo bird. Booster is glad that the kid allowed himself to be persuaded that there wasn't enough room to bring back the mastodon. He is not allowed to work on timestream cases until he can be trusted not to come back with extinct species. He is also not allowed to go on alternate universe adventures after he came back with another dragon bat he has named Desdemona.

Signal takes advantage of timestream adventures to fact check the crazy nonsense his siblings have told him. Booster likes the kid well enough and the invisibility does make things easier at times. The only reason he's not Booster's preferred Bat is because Signal is more naturally charismatic and people pay more attention to him than to Booster and also Signal needs to work on his confidence in his detective skills. He gets migraines dealing with alternate universe adventures and so tries to avoid them when possible.

Alfred has gone on ONE timestream adventure. Booster does not speak of the adventure. Alfred will just smile slightly if asked. Alfred is not allowed on alternate universe adventures because the Bats in his home universe get sullen and withdrawn without him and at least one kitchen fire will occur. His alternate selves are also possessive of their respective kitchens and do not appreciate intruders, even if the intruders are themselves.

#bruce wayne #tim drake #batman #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #batfam #alfred pennyworth #booster gold #dcu #dc comics #cassandra wayne #duke thomas #signal dc #red robin #red hood #nightwing

[thelibrarian1895]

Headcanon that the real reason all the other Justice Leaguer's avoid Gotham is because there is a running joke with the Gotham press that every hero in Gotham is either Batman, or a Robin.

Superman stops an attack drone from burning down a city block?

NOPE! News headlines read "Is Robin's new ability to fly proof he's really a vampire??"

Black Canary busts a smuggling ring?

"Batman's second female Robin. Will she last longer than the first?

Green Arrow catches a bank robber?

"Green Robin's facial hair and exactly what citizens think about it, page 3."

#batman #red robin #nightwing #red hood #batfam #justice league #robin

[thelibrarian1895]

The Supers and their Bats

Supers hang around Bats in and out of the mask because standing next to a Bat makes anyone look normal. Granted, standing next to a Gothamite tends to make most people seem extra average but being next to a Bat/Wayne and all their nonsense makes even a Gothamite look normal. If anyone even started to think that Clark Kent was at all connected to Superman then people just look at him next to Brucie Wayne and his weirdness then they immediately think otherwise. Brucie is more likely to be Superman in their minds, no human can be that air headed while being so business savvy. At the Watchtower even when Superman is actively using some super power, still consider Batman more of an alien than Superman. Superboy aka Kon El aka Connor Kent had no secret identity, he makes friends with Tim, he spends time with Tim Drake Wayne and Robin who would crime fight while skateboarding and is a teenage CEO and suddenly Kon seems perfectly normal and this nice young man can't possibly be that punk Superboy. Jon could sneeze and accidentally knock down a building and he'd still seem like a normal human next to Damian Al Ghul Wayne. Kara around Barbara and Dick just seems like an average young lady. Even Bizarro seems more normal when Red Hood is around.

And as long as no one is being permanently physically injured or mentally scarred, listening to and/or watching the Bats when the Bats are being civilians and trying to act "normal" is like having a telenovela going on all the time, very entertaining.

#bruce wayne #tim drake #batfamily #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #superman #clark kent #kon el #superboy #kon el kent #jon kent #the batfam is weird #and the superfam is very grateful for that #kara zor el #barbara gordon

[thelibrarian1895]

Gotham is WEIRD, especially the schools

So, just going to say it, gym classes in each and every Gotham city school, and Gotham private school, result in Gotham educated kids who don't skip gym class being just a little less than world class martial artists by the time they graduate high school. There are some who are better than others of course but for the most part, if you went to school in Gotham and you did your best in gym, you developed the ability to beat up an average of five non Gothamites without breaking a sweat. You also had an immediate edge if you wanted to try stunt work or feature in the action genre in movie or tv shows thanks to your elementary/middle/high school gym classes. This is how Batman can still have trouble with mooks in Gotham. It's not just quantity that gives him trouble, they have some legit skills to go with size, strength, and willingness to try to break someone's skull for money. Most gym teachers in Gotham are defectors from a martially adept cult, retired assassin with no concept of how normal not in Gotham gym classes are generally conducted, or Gothamites who were raised with the weird gym classes so they're teaching what they know and what they know is how to beat the snot out of people who have less than Bat level training. And the rest of school administration is generally too intimidated or doesn't care or they're happy the kids have an extra edge in case of school shootings to say or do anything about the scary gym teacher.

This definitely helped both Jason and Tim when they started their Robin training. This helped Stephanie when she decided to be a vigilante under her own power and gave Duke an edge when he had to go through his whole mess. This also made Dick's childhood athletic antics and Damian's current school antics stand out a great deal less than they would in schools outside of Gotham.

So yeah, only in Gotham is your gym teacher 100% a former assassin/mercenary/goon/mafioso who will make sure that you can hold your own in a fight against almost anyone.

Unfortunately for those who end up being goons or rogues, almost does not include the Bats.

#bruce wayne #tim drake #batfamily #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #batfam #gotham #cassandra wayne #only in gotham