ivorysoapshavings - Tumblr blog

ivorysoapshavings · 3 years

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So…… my hyperfixation on HxH is back and stronger than ever so I wrote this

TW: Hanahaki mentions of blood and corpses alcohol and minor cursing

Kurapika finally took the time to open his phone after a few months, he opened it to find eight voicemails and over twenty missed calls. He clicked on the voicemails and played the first one that was sent almost two months after Gon, Killua, Leorio, and him first split up.

~The other night dear as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms~

“Hey, Kurapika it’s Leorio, I just wanted to check up on you; you’ve seemed pretty busy lately hope you’re not overworking yourself. Anyway things aren’t too interesting here at medical school but I do have a few big tests I need to study for,” there was a pause for a long sigh, “guess I should get to doing that huh? Well, call me back when you get the chance. It's been a while,” there was a small pause before the line went dead.

~But when I awoke dear I was mistaken so I hung my head and cried~

“Hey, Kurapika, it's Leorio, just wanted to check up with you and see how you’re doing. Oh! something hilarious happened I think would have amused you. So me Gon and Killua were eating lunch together and Gon tried to do his impression of you and Killua was taking a drink at the same time, and Killua laughed so hard water came out of his nose,” There was a small chuckle at the other end of the phone, “you know they miss you too,” silence for a couple of seconds, “welp, you know my number call me back when you get the chance,”

~You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey~

“Hey, kurapika, it’s me again. Listen I know you’re probably just busy with your job and all but I can’t help but be a little worried. You’re not injured are you? You don’t even have to call, just send a message of something, anything,” there was a sharp inhale and a light sigh, “Well bye then,”

~You’ll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away~

“Hey Kurapika it's Gon! I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I can tell Leorio is kinda worried about you. We’re also been doing a lot of things. Nothing dangerous of course!” Gon paused to nervously chuckle, “It's been fun though I wish you could be here with us. That would make it even more fun! Leorio said he told you about Killua spewing water out of his nose that was really funny but what I bet he didn’t tell you was that he choked on his food and almost fell out of his chair too,” There was a pause and some chittering in the background, “Welp, we gotta go hopefully you’ll call us soon but call Leorio first he really wants to hear from you,” there were a few crashing noises and someone yelled Leorios name then the line went dead.

~I’ll always love you and make you happy if you will only say the same~

“ Kurapika, it’s Killua you better call us back soon or I’m gonna -,” Killua was cut off by someone. Then came a lot of muffled yelling and a loud crash. “Got it ,” Gon yelled triumphantly, clearly having wrestled the phone from Killua’s hands “Sorry about that Kurapika. Killua just misses you too he just has an awful way of expressing it” Another crash and the line going dead.

~But if you leave me and love another you’ll regret it all some day~

“Hey Pika, It’s gotten boring here again. Gon and Killua ran off to god knows where, no heads up just left. I just really hope they stay safe, they’re always getting into the most trouble,” Leorio let out a small chuckle, something about his voice sounded different more weak “I really worry for them sometimes they’re just so young yet they’ve been through so much,” he paused letting out a sigh, “Ugh, I sound like a dad. Anyway hope you’re staying safe kicking ass out there. I really hope you’re at least listening to these and not just deleting them. But stay safe don’t overwork yourself, miss you,”

~You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey~

Kurapika noticed something strange as he was going to click on the next voicemail. They were usually sent two to three weeks apart from each other but this one was sent almost a month and a half after the last one. He brushed it off thinking Leorio was just busy, until he opened it.

~You’ll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away~

“Hey Kurapika it’s Gon again, we just met up with Leorio again and he’s --,”

“Gon! He didn’t want us to tell,” Killua yelled interrupting him

“I know but it’s gotten worse and-,”

“We can ask him again when he wakes up! But its not out place to tell,”

“I know!” Gon yelled exasperated, “but what if we tell him and it’s to late,”

“That won't happen, so give me this an-,” the voicemail cut off there

~You told me once dear you really loved me and no one else could come between~

Kurapika sat in confusion at the voicemail ‘What did they mean it was getting worse? Was there something wrong with leorio? Why didn’t he want to tell me? Is it something bad? Deadly?’ Kurapika wondered to himself as he stood up and started to pace the room with worry. He needed answers so he clicked on the next voicemail which he noticed was also almost a month apart from the last one. About a week ago.

~But not you’ve left me and love another you’ll regret it all some day you have shattered all of my dreams~

“Here, you have to tell him,” It was Killua’s voice, “Or I'm gonna tell,”

“I can’t,” It was Leorio this time but his voice sounded even more different from his last message. It was less preppy and loud and more horse and mellow, “I don’t want him to worry about me. He’s probably doing something important and it’s not like hes gonna listen to this anyway,” Killua let out an angry huff

“Fine than, Kurapika hey it’s killua you better get your ass over here because-,”

“Wait! Killua I’ll tell him just give me the phone,” there were a few shuffling noises and then Leorio started speaking again, “Hey Pika you probably won't get this but I’ve got Hanahaki and it’s you I love you,”

~you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray~

Kurapika stopped pacing and dropped his phone in shock ‘Hanahaki’ ‘it’s you’ ‘I love you’ he was trying to make sense of it all Leorio loved him Leorio had Hanahaki because of him.

“How? How! God damn it!” he yelled to no one. He grabbed his phone off the floor and ran outside. Kurapika had run a couple of blocks before it hit him, he had no idea where to go. He knew they were in the same city but where? So he stopped and dialed Killuas number. It seemed like days as he waited for someone anyone to pick up the phone he gasped out of relief when someone did answer

“Kurapika yo-,” Gon had answered the phone he sounded like he was crying

“Just tell me where you are,” and after Gon had finished telling him the address Kurapika immediately hung up and started running again.

~you‘ll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away~

“YOU’RE TOO LATE. YOU’RE TO LATE KURAPIKA. HE’S DEAD HE JUST FUCKING DIED,” Gon shouted furious as kurapika bolted through the door of their hotel room, when he saw what was infront of him he froze in shock from the sunflower petals scattered along the floor, Leorio dead in Killua’s arms, Gon swearing at him, “THIS. ALL. COULD. HAVE. BEEN. AVOIDED. IF YOU PICKED UP. THE FUCKING PHONE. FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE,” Gon kept shouting, shoving Kurapika in between each phrase. Kurapika just let it happen because he knew it was his fault Gon was right.

“Gon stop,” Killua said monotone, now behind Gon holding him back from shoving Kurapika even more. Gon didn’t even fight him; he just turned around and crumpled into Killua’s arms. “Kurapika say something please,” Killua begged. After Kurapika stayed silent and didn’t answer, Killua got up from under Gon and stood in front of Kurapika and slapped him across the face. This snapped something inside Kurapika and he fell down to his knees and started sobbing

“I killed him… I killed him.. I killed him I killed him I killed him I killed him,” Kurapika chanted, getting louder each time he uttered the phrase. He turned and looked at Leorio on the floor lifeless, blood stains all up his front, covered in petals, “I killed him,”

~In all my dreams dear you seem to leave me when I awake my poor heart pains~

The funeral came and It was Kurapika’s turn to come up and say his final farewell to Leorio. As he stepped up to the casket he saw Leorio pale and lifeless, no amount of makeup being able to make him look alive again. He was also wearing that stupid suit he always wore but now that he was seeing it for what was probably the last time it wasn’t really stupid. His casket was also scattered with sunflower petals which stared at Kurapika mocking him for not being there when his friends needed him most, for being so selfish and such a workaholic. He stepped down from his place in front of the casket and left the building not bothering to stay for the rest of the service. He didn’t think he could face Leorio’s family or Gon and Killua after being the reason that Leorio died. So he made his way back to the hotel room.

~So when you come back and make me happy I’ll forgive you dear I’ll take all the blame~

It had been a few hours since Kurapika left the funeral which meant it had probably ended by now. All he had done was sit there and think and ask questions that could now never be answered. After a few more minutes passed the door to the Hotel room opened, and Gon and Killua walked in.

“Oh you’re here,” Killua said, slightly annoyed.

“Kill stop now is not the time to be fighting,” Gon practically whispered, his voice being hoarse from crying.

“No! You had your chance to yell at him earlier, now it's my turn,” Killua retorted, slightly raising his voice.

“Listen Killua, I know it’s my fault. I’ll just leave,” Kurapika mumbled, getting up from his position on the floor.

“No! Do you know how much pain he was in? How much blood and flower petals he coughed up? We were the ones to keep him company and comfortable.

We were the ones who had to watch him slowly die as we desperately tried to contact you. We had to make him tell you about the disease because he didn’t want to worry you in case you were doing something important. And you didn’t even show up until weeks after we told you about it. And after all that you don’t even stay for his funeral ,” Killua was flushed and slightly out of breath after yelling and Kurapika stood in front of him, eyes now a beautiful yet frightening scarlet color.

“You know what? No. I don’t know how much pain he was in nor how much blood and petals he coughed up. And I know I should have been there when he needed me, how none of this would have happened if I had picked up the stupid fucking phone sooner, and I couldn’t stand being at the funeral because how could I ever face his family knowing I’m the reason he died,”

“Guys can we please stop this,” Gon begged from the sidelines, desperately tugging on Killua's hand. Killua just shook him off and stepped closer to Kurapika.

“Yeah because you’re a fucking coward , and it’s not like being here would’ve changed anything you probably didn’t even love him back,” this is what made Kurapika snap.

“How do you know what I feel, Killua Zoldyck! How? How would you ever know how I feel when you’re just an emotionless assassin,” Killua gave a sharp inhale

“Yeah, well because of your cowardice everyone you loved is dead, Leorio, your clan -,” before Killua could finish Gon stomped his foot on the ground cracking the ground underneath them.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! You guys are arguing like a bunch of babies and there's no point in insulting each other, it's not gonna bring Leorio back. So just.. Stop it!” Killua just huffed angrily and toed at the ground not looking at either of the two boys in the room. Kurapika just brushed past the two boys towards the door knocking into Killua on his way.

~You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey~

After Kurapika left the hotel room he wanted to find a way to distract him to relieve him of his hurt and stress and fast. So he found the nearest bar.

“Hey kid, aren't you a little young to be in here,” The man behind the bar asked Kurapika. In response all he did was place his hunter license on the bar and said

“something strong,” The bartender grunted in response and went to mix a few things together before pouring it in a cup and sliding it to Kurapika.

“You look like shit,” The bartender told Kurapika after what was probably his fifth drink.

“Yeah? Well, I just killed someone I loved,” Kurapika managed to slur out. The bartender just raised his eyebrows in question, “Hanahaki disease. You know the one where you spit up flowers? All because I couldn’t be bothered to pick up the fucking phone.” And without another he stood up, shoved his hunters license in his pocket, slammed the rest of his drink down and walked out of the bar. Now that he had nowhere to go, no one to return to, he was bound to endlessly wander till he couldn’t wander any longer.

~you’ll never know dear how much I love you please don’t take my sunshine away~

#hxh #hunter x hunter #leorio paladiknight #kurapika #gon freaks #killua zoldyck #hanahaki #hxh angst #leorio x kurapika #leopika

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