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#// wish i could talk to that me as the me i am now we would have so much fun and they wouldnt experience the horrors as badly
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DOWN BAD- P.B PARKER
Pairing- Jock! Peter x Nerd! Reader (enemies to… lovers?)
Word Count: 4.3k
Summary: Peter Parker constantly nags you, and you hate his guts (naturally). So what better way to mellow the hate by being paired together for a class project? And why, if you hate his guts, do you want to touch him so bad?
Warnings: Making out, suggestive sexual content, dry humping, teasing, swearing etc…
Notes: It’s been a while, I apologize if my writing is a bit rusty! I hope you enjoy nonetheless, I had a fun time writing, and I really did miss it (Taylor Swifts new album really inspired me too!) I am using my phone to post for the first time, I hope to go back and format/ edit if need be when I can use my laptop again. Thank you for all the support :)
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“Don’t look at me like that.” You huffed, eyes sharp as daggers as your cool gaze slid over to your target and struck its mark.
Peter Parker. Bullseye.
You could feel his lingering attention solely focused on you, a coy smirk upon his lips as he tapped his pencil against the wooden desk, its dull echo like nails on a chalkboard. A taunting metronome in the back of your mark as he leaned over to tower over you in his seat.
It was too close to yours for your liking.
“Like what pipsqueak?” he murmured, drowning out the professor's droning voice as he dragged on. You wished you could hit him with the textbook in your bag. Both of them, honestly.
“Like you’re thrilled for this. Don’t act like you like me.”
“Well I do like you.” He smiled, beaming ear to ear.
For him, it was the best day of his life. Getting randomly paired with “whoever you’re sitting next to, I don’t care.” (the professor's words, not yours), was a thrill for him, he got to pick on the quiet, shy girl more than usual.
Which would be a shock, considering the sheer amount he did already, always finding his way next to you to tease you, especially with and to his stupid jockey friends. This project was worth thirty percent of your grade. You couldn’t afford this.
“Well I don’t like you. So fuck off.” You heard a low whistle from behind you, a chuck alongside it from his friends. “Kitty has claws?” Peter whistled, eyebrow raising in mock surprise as you shifted your legs to the other side of the chair, angling away from him.
“Oh you’re in for it now Parker” Bucky laughed as you covered your ears in an attempt to drown them out. You felt like you were in middle school again, the way they mocked you. And what made it worse was that it got to you. Not that the jokes and remarks meant anything much, but it was just the sheer annoyance of it all.
You had thrived to be a straight A student your entire life, and in this class… you could feel them slipping. Taking a deep breath, you clenched your pen harder in your hand, pressing so hard the page snagged as you wrote.
You could still feel his eyes on you, flickering over from under his glasses ,his muscles flexing subtly under his blue t-shirt. You pretended not to look, and to not focus on the fact he was extremely attractive. You spent the rest of the hour doing just that, scolding yourself for any indecent thought you had ever had about him, ever. By the time the professor had snapped his laptop shut, the projector turning dark as students started to talk amongst themselves as they packed up, you had half a page of notes, max.
“I’ll be in touch.” he leaned down and whispered, hand lingering by your chair as he slipped by. “Fuck you.”
He just threw his head back and laughed, his friend group joining him as he looked back. And winked. You groaned. This was going to be three weeks of hell.
—————————————————————————
It was a Thursday when you got a text from him. An unknown number flashed on your screen as you lay face down on your bed, contemplating life and if this class was seriously worth it or not.
The buzz of the phone had your head snapping up, confused until it suddenly dawned on you.
Unknown: Think we should start brainstorming for this thing pipsqueak?
Well fuck, you thought, wanting to throw your phone across the room. This class wasn’t that important, right? (It was).
Taking a deep breath, you sat up as your thumbs started to fly across the screen.
You: Who is this?
Unknown: I’m hurt, pips. Truly.
You: I think you have the wrong number.
You smirked. Okay, who were you kidding… this was kind of fun. Kind of.
Peter: It’s Peter, you jerk. Are you really going to make me spell it out for you?
You: Peter who? Doesn’t ring a bell.
Good. Knock him down a few pegs. You giggled to yourself, quickly stopping once you realised why exactly you were kicking your feet like a school girl, for who exactly. You layed back down, head muddled with meaningless thoughts that jumbled as you waited for his response. Grabbing a stuffie, you hugged it close to your chest, feeling it rise and fall as you caught your breath, grounding yourself. Why on earth did this mean so much to you? Why did his texts, something so easily ignorable- suddenly a waiting game?
Peter: Ha ha, very funny pips.
You: How did you even get my number anyways?
Peter: Long story, I had to go on a bit of a hunt. A friend, of a friend of a friend, you get the point. I can be very persuasive ;)
Nope. You thought. Don’t give into this.
You: I’m sure.
Peter: You wanna come over on the weekend or meet at Braxston’s to start… brainstorming?
You: I don’t want to do anything of the sort, but if that gets this over with as soon as possible- then sure. Only one of us has a brain to storm anyways.
Peter: You’ll regret that pips.
You clicked off your phone, a ghost of a smirk on your face. His threat surprisingly didn’t seem like a real threat, but actual light hearted teasing, not the kind he often did.
Fuck. You were supposed to be hating him. You did hate him. It was only three weeks with him. You weren’t sure if you meant that with relief or disappointment.
————————————————————————————
It was disappointment.
You sighed, closing your eyes as you rubbed your creased temple. It was nearly midnight , and your books were still scattered across the desk you occupied, the library a ghost town considering it was a Friday night. Braxston library tended to be on the empiter side, which is why you preferred it. It was the oldest library on campus, smelling of old pages and cedarwood.
Sometimes, when you needed a break you would get up and run your fingers across the leather spines, or climb the ladder for a change of view of the stained glass windows. But tonight, you lacked the motivation to even bother standing. It had been a long night, filled with cramming and stress. Pen and highlighter stained your hands as you shook them out, cramped and aching. For the last hour you had solely focused on the final you and Peter had to pull out your ass, coming up with backup plans with the worry he would abandon you completely.
Topics, ideas, theories- god you didn’t even know anymore. Your body lacked caffeine, your iced coffee long gone. You grew tired of this mindless work, sliding off your headphones to admire the near empty room around you.
Suddenly, you wished it was completely empty.
Peter looked just as shocked to see you, eyes widening in surprise, backpack slung over his shoulder, hair ruffled and eyebags prominent as if he had fallen asleep and been startled awake.
“Pips? I thought we weren’t supposed to meet until tomorrow?” He made his way over to you, inviting himself to lean over you, on your desk. You stared up at him with a look of amusement.
“We don’t have to meet at all. It’s very bold you assume I’m here to see you, of all people.” you snorted. His eyebrow raised. “So who are you here to meet?”
“Two papers and exam prep. You?”
“More or less the same” he smirked, and you felt butterflies start to churn in your stomach. “Sounds like great fun. I’m sure they’re lovely.” you said, snarky comment slipping out before you could stop it, turning in your seat as you often did around him so he wouldn’t see the fluster and nerves in your demeanour whenever you were near him.
He leaned down, breath warm against the column of your neck. You couldn't breathe. You could not fucking breathe with him this close to you. The rich scent of his cologne made you dizzy, it intoxicated you as you stared at your laptop screen, as if it possessed the knowledge of the entire universe.
“You know, you can’t avoid me forever. You’re gonna have to confront me at some point, pip.”
“I don’t know what you're talking about” you snarled softly, staring at the coy, cockly little smirk you wanted to wipe off his face as he stood. “Sure you don’t.” He nodded his head towards your screen, with a wink.
“Good song.” he smiled, before he was off. You continued to stare at him as he walked out the door, not looking back once. Not a care in the world as he slipped on his own headphones, and around the corner.
Eyes moved down to stare at the pause button of your song, lyrics burning into your ears at the thought of him listening to it- and enjoying it.
Down bad, waking up in blood, staring at the sky, come back over and pick me up- fuck it if I can’t have us, I might just not get up, I might stay down bad.
You were so incredibly fucked.
———————————————————
You took a deep breath. Then another.
You let the crisp, cool night air wash over your burning skin, the faint smell of weed tickling your senses, probably from a house down the street. It was a pretty busy neighbourhood, full of students you recognized from afar on campus. You didn’t associate with the more ‘popular’ kids, if that could even be considered a thing past high school.
You tried to shake off the uneasiness that stuck with you, cracking your knuckles as you tried to prepare yourself to not only see Peter, but to interact with him- in his house. Most likely for hours. You knew you probably looked like a complete idiot out on the sidewalk, just near his house but you had to muster some form of courage.
All you could see was a faint light from what looked like the living room, and a light upstairs- you presumed his room. No sign of life other than that.
You thought of his words, how twisted they sounded. You can’t avoid me forever. You’re gonna have to confront me at some point, pip.
Fuck it.
You slipped from your hiding spot (from Peter, you were placed behind a large tree in his front yard, but god knows what people driving by thought), and mentally prepared yourself for his roommates to answer the door, making fun of you before he put the cherry on top. Practically leaping up the porch stairs, you raced to the door, knocking quickly.
You wanted this over and done with. Your palms were clammy and your stomach churned viciously as you heard footsteps near the door. It took everything in you to stay rooted to the ground and to not flee, and when Peter appeared, you feared the opposite.
How the hell you were supposed to move with him in that slutty little fit, a pair of grey sweatpants slung low on his waist, his v-line and happy trail on full display… his toned abs and arms in a little white muscle shirt… gods you didn’t know. You were sure your tongue fully hung out of your mouth like some cartoon character as you took him in.
“Took you long enough” he said with a snort, adjusting his glasses, sliding them further up his nose. You didn’t even know he had glasses. Did he wear contacts? Had he worn them and you just didn’t notice? No, surely that wasn’t the case, you noticed everything he did. It was like he sucked all of the air out of the atmosphere whenever he walked in a room. It was suffocating, in a way. Of course you had to look at him, and you were sure you weren't the only one.
“I was admiring the greenery.”
“I saw that. I wasn’t sure the maple needed to be examined that long.” he smirked, and your felt your fists instinctively clench.
He had saw you- so you were fucked and now the only logical thing to do was to run into a brick wall. Perfect, got it.
“I enjoy living in the moment, and I don’t take nature for granted.’ you huffed, attempting to compose yourself as he stepped aside, motioning for you to enter. “I’m sure. Don’t worry it was cute.” he smiled, running a hand through his tosseled hair.
You slid off your shoes, setting them next to his worn in converse you always saw him wear. You noticed the other pairs were missing, not even a missing lace to be found.
“Where are your roommates?” you asked as entered, surveying the open space. It was surprisingly tidy for a boys place, and you couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of Peter rushing around attempting to clean up before you came (though you doubted he would ever do that). Still, it was nice to think about.
Little traces of “boy” still lingered, silly little signs scattered across the walls, flags and such, empty, crushed beer and poking out from the recycling bins. “I kicked them out, because I figured you would want to contentrate.” he said.
Yeah like I’m going to be able to conetrate with you looking that fucking fine. Ha.
“That’s considerate. I’m surprised you even know what that is, Parker. I’m impressed.”
He snorted, throwing a little look back your way as he lead you up the stairs, presumably to his room. “I’m surprised you know how to walk up stairs. You have Bambi legs.” he teased, mocking your clumsiness. You cursed him internally. Maybe out loud too, judging by his laugh.
You tried to stifle down the butterflies. You were not about to flirt with him. You were not about to let your developing feelings expand. You hated him. He was mean and he was an asshole.
You were simply here to get this project done. That’s it.
“You’re an asshole.”
“I know.” was all he said, turning down a hall to an open door, light glowing faintly- beckoning to you. You appreciated his refusal to use the overhead light- not that you’d tell him that. He’d probably look at you like you were insane.
“I see you clean for girls you bring over.” you noted, observing his (surprisingly) decently clean room.
“Bold of you to assume I cleaned. Maybe I’m always this tidy.” he smirked, arms flexing over and behind his head as he sat down in his office chair, man-spreading as he stretched.
You tried so hard not to stare. And failed miserably.
“I would’ve thought you cleaned up for ladies you bring to bed.”
His eyebrows arched. “Should I have prepared then?”
Something like churning fire burned in your belly, slithering lower and lower.
“Don’t start with me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it pip.” he smiled coyly, knowing he had gotten you flustered. “May I?” you nodded to his bed, trying to ignore your feelings as you sat down. Fanning your skirt out, you tucked your legs in before opening your bag, attempting to cover your thighs with your bag as much as you could- his cool gaze staring lasers into your bare skin.
“So… if we have to base this on a creature in the wild…”
“Jumping straight to the point aren’t we?” he asked and you frowned in confusion.
“What did you want me to do foreplay or something beforehand?” you asked, your word choice more than intentional. You swore a little pink tinted his cheeks as he swiveled around.
“Right to it then. Okay, I was thinking spiders. Specifically their venom and social behaviours.”
You blinked. Jesus okay he had thought about this. This was not what you were expected.
“Elaborate Parker.”
He smiled. “ From what I’ve seen, not a lot is known about the venom entirely. From a predator-prey aspect.. I’ve mainly seen stuff on specific components evolving to target specific sites on cell membrains of prey tissue, we could work with that to start. Maybe expand on the social aspect and evolution.”
You were stunned. This was… more than you could’ve hoped for. Suddenly you felt bad for all the doubt aimed towards him over the few days leading up to this meeting.
“Hmm. I like it.”
“Did you have any ideas you had brewing in that genius brain of yours?” he asked, making you blush internally.
“I had some stuff just in case, but it was just random jots I’m not too proud of.”
He scoffed. “You came prepared with backup stuff?!”
You just shrugged. “Do you blame me?”
“Kinda.” he laughed. “Start thinking of me more highly pips. I even have access to a brown widow, we could do some experiments.”
You winced at the thought of actually studying a spider up close, but it was part of the job. Whatever could get this done the fastest, and you had to applaud him for providing some of your own evidence you could actually showcase.
He caught your wince, and you could feel the teasing start to start. It was like bait for him, he loved it. “The spider may bite, but I won’t. That is, unless you want me too.” he winked, and you fought the urge not to chuck your laptop at his handsome face.
“You’re gross Parker.”
“Oh I’m sure you think I am. Doesn’t make a difference to me.”
You were going to strangle him. “Let’s just focus and get this project done as soon as we can, yeah? Please.”
You riffled through your bag, grabbing different coloured pens and your notebook, skimming through your random thoughts and jots.
“Whatever you say pip.”
“Start researching Parker.” And that was that.
—————————————————————
A few hours had passed, and so far you were quite impressed with how much the two of you had gotten done. For the most part, the two of you had stayed on opposite sides of the room. If he wanted to make a move, he wasn’t physically doing it, and his roommates still hadn’t come home yet.
Though as the hours passed, he had made his way closer to you- ever so slightly. From his desk he nudged over closer and closer, his laptop landing in his lap as he worked.
“What source are you working from right now?” you asked, not bothering to cast your gaze up as you continued to type, fingers flying over the keyboard as you bit your lip in concentration. You failed to notice his eyes darting between your lips and your breasts that poked out slightly as you slouched over, licking his lips hungrily.
“Some research paper. Here.”
You let out a little oomph in surprise as he plopped down beside you, sprawled across his bed as he enveloped you in his makeshift fortress. He stared at you with such longing you felt faint, having to stop your work to pull yourself together.
Fuck.
He nodded towards it, and you realized you had been staring at him longer than you intended, forgetting about the paper completely. “Oh, yeah okay let me look.” you murmured, taking the laptop from his hand to slide it across your lap, the fan whirling softly, the warmth of it adding more coals to the fire you felt already.
He was still staring.
Please look away before I want to kiss you. Or do more then kiss you. I’m supposed to be hating you, stop please.
You tried your best to read and concentrate, but it was next to no use. All you could focus on was him, his fingers drumming on the comforter near your thigh (what man has a comforter anyways?!), and his gaze on you, that was heavy with something. Want, perhaps? Lust? Or you were delusional. Very possible.
“It’s um, it’s good. I like it, I think there’s lots of good… stuff here.”
“Good stuff huh?” he asked sarcastically, a smirk plastered across his face.
He knew. The fucker knew you were down bad.
“Yeah. You know what I mean.” you grumbled, staring back down at your screen.
“I do know what you mean. Do you know what I mean?” he asked, hand inching closer and closer to your thigh- teasing you. You took a deep breath, grounding yourself.
You could push your hatred aside for just a few minutes. It was okay, just this once. Right?
You bit your lip, and fuck if that didn’t turn him on even more. Nodding to him, as if he could speak to you telepathically.
Yes, this is okay. Please touch me. Just a little, even is fine.
“Maybe you should explain a little more, Parker.”
His fingers skimmed the edge of your skirt, warm to the touch as they stroked your skin softly, just a whisper of him lingering. Goosebumps lingered in their wake, and you pushed your laptop off to the side, not caring where it landed on the bed. Just not next to him.
“How much more?”
His voice was low. Deep. Needing. You wanted more.
Another stroke of his fingers on your thigh, closer to where you wanted him the most made you shiver, toes curling. His gaze never left yours, never faultered. Instead of its usual lightness, his teasing and bullying- his eyes were dark with lust. Nothing but his full attention was on you, and you couldn’t help but shudder as he leaned in closer.
Another hand landed on your thigh. “Yeah?” he asked, voice rough as you nodded quickly. “Mhmmm..- oh!” you let out a little gasp as he swiftly grabbed you, swinging you over to straddle his lap, tossing you as if you weighed nothing.
You hated that you found it hot.
He smirked, leaning forward- so close you could feel his thudding heart with a small hand gesture sliding across his chest, could feel his breath catching. Just a small little gap between his lips and yours.
“You’re going to regret this.” you murdered, fingers curling into his shirt, twisting the soft fabric.
“I won’t. Will you?”
“I might.”
His smile grew.
“ I still hate you, you know.”
“I know. And you look so damn hot when you do.” He pulled you closer, fingers digging into your skin, needing you closer and closer despite the two of you practically forming one being.
A clash of teeth and tongue happened, rough and harsh- full of hate and need. A hatred for your need for him. Why did you need him? Of all people?
Because he was so fucking fine.
A hand slipped under your skirt to cup your ass, squeezing it slightly. You ran a hand through his hair, tugging on it as your hips moved on their own account- causing a groan to slip from his lips.
You’d do anything to hear it again.
“This is so wrong.” was all you could moan as his lips worked their way down your neck, tracing your jaw before nipping at your earlobe.
“I don��t do right, pips. You know this.”
“Mhm. But you hate me.”
He laughed against your skin, and you rocked your hips again, a little slap to your asscheek making you jolt.
“Whatever makes you sleep better at night, pips. Whatever you want to think.” he sighed, massaging the skin as you toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.
You needed his lips on yours. You didn’t want to even try to decipher what his words meant, your head was foggy with want. You were slipping into a puddle of bliss, finally letting the restraint you held on a tight leash go- freeing the want and pure desire.
Yes, you wanted him. Yes, you hated him. And yes, he teased you. It hurt- but this didn’t. This was a soothe to his constant jabs, a salve to the wounds he caused.
“You feel so good. I want you so bad.” you confessed, causing him to moan again.
Yes. Yes, please.
“You’re killing me.”
“Good. It’s payback for the way you treat me.” you smirked, kissing him again. Hard, fast, rough. Mean.
Until he just… stopped.
Pulled away slightly, making you raise an eyebrow with confusion. His cheeks tinted slightly pink, hair messy and eyes wide with excitement, eager to keep going. To go further. So why did he just- stop?
“Parker?”
He smiled coyly.
“Don’t we have work we need to be doing?” he asked sarcastically- and you felt your stomach drop. He was teasing you. He was doing this just to get under your skin, to leave you high and dry and needing. Knowing damn well nothing could possibly get done now but him.
“You- you just want to get back to work? After that?”
“I want to do the dirtiest things imaginable to you, pips. I want to do so many things. But if we keep going and get nothing done, you’ll regret it and hate me. If we get work done, you’ll hate me too. I rather you hate me but feel secure with this, at least.” he murmured, brushing your cheek with his thumb.
It was tender, and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “So you just, want to work? Did I do something wrong?” you asked.
“Gods no. But it’s too easy if I just give it to you like that. You know me, pips- I tease. Maybe if you’re good and get more work done we can have some harmless, regretless fun.” he winked, sliding his hands down to your hips, picking you up again to toss you gently on his pillows, kissing your hand with a wink as he stood to go back to his desk.
Oh you were fucked. So, so fucked.
“I heard that.” he laughed, and you buried your head in your hands. This was going to be a long three weeks indeed.
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polly-pocket13 · 2 days
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Give me a chance to show you how beautiful you are
bakugou katsuki x fem!chubby!reader 
tw: weight, self-doubt, self-hate, eating disorder, cursing, acne, bad english and bad grammar
a/n: just a friendly reminder that you are enough and beautiful just the way you are.
You are standing in front of your mirror and looking at yourself. 
You sighed. 
Your skin is getting worse again.
You gained weight.
Your tights are too thick.
Your belly is too chubby.
Your arms to giggly.
Slowly, your eyes started to tear up.
Why couldn't you be like the other pretty girls?
Those girls with the flat stomachs and clear skin. 
Those girls with beautiful tights and slim arms. 
Those girls who always look and act like a real lady.
Those girls who always seem perfect.
The next day, you started eating less and exercising more.
You began to isolate yourself from others and feel more and more ashamed about yourself.
Like right now, you were in your room again and stood before your mirror and looked at your imperfect body.
“Y/N? Is everything okay?” you suddenly heard Bakugous voice behind you.
You didn't even notice that he knocked or entered your room.
“Bakugou, what are you doing here? Of course, everything is alright.” you told him and forced yourself to smile.
“Y/N, stop fucking lying to me. I can see that something is wrong, and I can see how, you force yourself to smile. I have known you long enough, to recognize a real smile.” he grumbled.
“I don't know what you mean.” you said to him.
“Don't play dumb, Y/N. Please tell me what is wrong.” he spoke to you.
“I am fine.” you lied again. 
You weren't fine at all. 
“Fine? You look to me like the absolute opposite of fine.” he said to you angrily.
You were overwhelmed with emotions.
You slowly started to speak, “Can't you see? I am the problem. How I look. How I act. Everything about me is just imperfect.”
You started to cry again.
“Who the hell told you such a bullshit. Tell me so I can break his nose.” he told you aggressive.
You replied quietly, “Kacchan, just forget it.”
“You don't want me to know? Well, then I will find out myself. It can't be that fucking hard to find an asshole without eyes.” he slightly shouted and wanted to leave your room.
“It was me, okay! I tell my self everyday I am not enough! So if you want to break someone's nose, feel free to break mine.” you said to him. 
He immediately turned himself to you. A second later, you could feel his arms wrapped around you.
Now, you started to cry even more.
He pulled you closer to him.
He whispered in your ear, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life.” 
“You only say it because we are friends and I am crying. You don't mean it.” you mumbled.
“Tsk, stupid gorgeous Woman. Why don't you believe me? I would not fall in love with you if you were not the most perfect human being in the world,”
he started tell you.
“I wished you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you would see that you are perfect from the bottom to the top. 
You would see how your eyes sparkle, when you talk about something you love. How you smile makes everyone else smile too.  How you just make everyone else to a better person, especially me. You would see how all stare at you if you dress up in your pretty dresses.  Damn it, Y/N yo drive me crazy every day. Your curves, your beautiful thighs, your soft belly. Just fucking everything.” he ends his “speech”.
You were shocked. You just stared at him for a moment.
“You like me? Like, really like me.” you asked him. 
“Typical Y/N. I told you lots of other important things and you just remembered one. Yes, I like you. Like, really like you.” he answered you. 
“I think I like you too, but I can't see myself through your eyes. I am just imperfect for me.” you told him.
“Give me a chance to show you how beautiful you are. Okay?” he asked you. 
“Okay.” you answered. 
Since that day, he has been proving to you every day how beautiful you are to him. 
And you slowly start to believe him and love yourself as you should because you are truly beautiful just the way you are. 
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Thinking again about the darknesses that lurk underneath the surface of Sense and Sensibility (I have talked before about how Edward despite being the eldest is subjected to what we can argue is emotional and financial abuse by his family for years, and how the Dashwood women are disinherited on a whim of their great uncle), and this time specifically about the Brandons.
We get so little about them, and what we do get about them is all bad:
This lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father... At seventeen she was lost to me for ever. She was married—married against her inclination to my brother. Her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. And this, I fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. My brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her... I have never told you how this was brought on. We were within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland. The treachery, or the folly, of my cousin’s maid betrayed us. I was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father’s point was gained... My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly.
Mr Brandon Sr is shown to us as being a greedy man, a bad administrator of his estate, and a cruel father. His first son seems cut of the same cloth, and his pleasures were not what they ought to have been is one of the most, if not the most sinister line between all the Austen novels. But there's more about him!:
Her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and I learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. He imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief.
The Brandons were married for two years; the colonel returns to England and starts looking for her 3 years later. Young Eliza was then a 3 year old toddler. We are obliquely told that Brandon cut all ties with his brother:
It was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would I have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but I had no family, no home; and my little Eliza was therefore placed at school. I saw her there whenever I could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at Delaford.
Eliza is now 17, so the eldest brother died when she was 14, which is 16 years after his marriage with the older Eliza. In that period of time, he managed to squander the whole of her fortune, and put the estate in debt again, as we are told earlier on by Mrs Jennings:
Poor man! I am afraid his circumstances may be bad. The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. I do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? I wonder whether it is so. I would give anything to know the truth of it. Perhaps it is about Miss Williams and, by the bye, I dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when I mentioned her. May be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for I have a notion she is always rather sickly. I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams. It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. I wonder what it can be! May be his sister is worse at Avignon, and has sent for him over. His setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. Well, I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain.”
We know the Bennets, with five daughters, and without a saving mindset, still manage to live very comfortably with 2000 a year, and if they had had any mind to save money, they could have provided all five of them with decent dowries/money enough to keep them out of poverty when their father died if they were single. It is clearly not that the money isn't enough, or that Delaford is an unproductive estate; in fact, it is described to us as almost paradisiac:
Delaford is a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! Lord! how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there! Then, there is a dove-cote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so ’tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. Oh! ’tis a nice place! A butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone’s throw. To my fancy, a thousand times prettier than Barton Park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother.
One interesting character, though forgotten because only mentioned in passing, is the Brandon sister. On one of the quotes above we get that she's in Avignon for her health, and we know her husband is wealthy (and probably abroad with her) because it is his estate that the planned picnic is for:
A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of Colonel Brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and Sir John, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. They contained a noble piece of water; a sail on which was to form a great part of the morning’s amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure.
It is implied that Brandon and his BIL are in very good terms (and we know he's not afraid of cutting ties with bad relatives), and one can safely guess that at the very least he cares enough about his wife as to have her travel for her health. Another guess can be made about her getting married about 10 years before the events of the book. Whether she lived at home before that, or was at school or somewhere else, it isn't said.
But this way you can feel there's a parallel in a way, between the Brandons and the Tilneys: a greedy, cruel father, a son that follows on his steps, and a younger brother and sister managing the toxicity as best they can. Talking about this with @bad-at-names-and-faces, she brought up the idea that in that scheme, Cathy would be Eliza (if it wasn't her not being an orphan, or a rich heiress, and how that connects with Austen's line about Cathy not being born to be a heroine at the beginning of Northanger Abbey). Certainly part of it is the romantic gothicness of the Brandon backstory, united with NA's commentary on Gothic tropes, but to me it drove home with even greater force how such a situation would break a man; losing Cathy that way would have definitely broken Tilney, and if we had met him 14 years down the line, would he have appeared to the unacquainted much different than Brandon appeared to the Dashwood sisters?
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Harry was never really Dumbledore's man
So, in HBP Harry says himself:
“Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you,” said Scrimgeour, his eyes cold and hard behind his wire-rimmed glasses. “Dumbledore’s man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?” “Yeah, I am,” said Harry.
(HBP, 348)
But, I'm here to argue Harry actually has many many doubts and reservations about Dumbledore throughout all books (even HBP), and I find it interesting how Harry convinced the Wizarding world (and the readers) that he's Dumbledore's man when he isn't. Not really.
(Just makes me all the more annoyed at him calling his son Albus...)
I'm going to go through some examples of Harry showing his doubts about Dumbledore way before book 7. Because Harry is an abused, distrusting boy, and Dumbledore isn't actually an exception to that until very late into the books. And even when Harry chooses to trust Dumbledore's intentions, he never fully trusts his judgment.
“D’you think he meant you to do it?” said Ron. “Sending you your father’s cloak and everything?” “Well, ” Hermione exploded, “if he did — I mean to say that’s terrible — you could have been killed.” “No, it isn’t,” said Harry thoughtfully. “He’s a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don’t think it was an accident he let me find out how the mirror worked. It’s almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could….”
(PS, 217)
This quote above is from the ending of Philosopher's Stone and the outlook Harry, Ron, and Hermione have on Dumbledore and his behavior is the same as seen in the later books. So I wanted to talk about each of them and how they see Dumbledore because this quote really sets the tone for the rest of the series.
Ron is doubtful and distrustful. The situation is odd, and he's clever, he analyzed the situation and came to a frightening conclusion — the whole ordeal seemed planned by Dumbledore. And Ron isn't scared of voicing this question.
Hermione, while not always a rule-follower, respects Dumbledore and his authority. A lot. So, she doesn't believe Dumbledore could've planned it as it would reflect badly on his character and authority. Hermione is a very loyal person, and once she decides she respects someone she is willfully blind to their flaws (we see it with her later in the series).
Harry, while he's clever enough to notice the same things Ron did and come to the same conclusion — that Dumbledore planned for an 11-year-old to face Voldemort — he attributes good intentions to Dumbledore. Harry sees the situation and draws his conclusions, but chooses to hope/believe Dumbledore's intentions were good ones.
Harry’s brain seemed to have jammed. He stared numbly at Riddle, at the orphaned boy who had grown up to murder Harry’s own parents, and so many others. . . . At last he forced himself to speak. “You’re not,” he said, his quiet voice full of hatred. “Not what?” snapped Riddle. “Not the greatest sorcerer in the world,” said Harry, breathing fast. “Sorry to disappoint you and all that, but the greatest wizard in the world is Albus Dumbledore. Everyone says so. Even when you were strong, you didn’t dare try and take over at Hogwarts. Dumbledore saw through you when you were at school and he still frightens you now, wherever you’re hiding these days —” The smile had gone from Riddle’s face, to be replaced by a very ugly look. “Dumbledore’s been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!” he hissed. “He’s not as gone as you might think!” Harry retorted. He was speaking at random, wanting to scare Riddle, wishing rather than believing it to be true —
(CoS, 282)
This is one of the scenes people call to to show how much faith Harry has in Dumbledore (even Dumbledore himself), the thing is, Harry says (in his mind) he's just saying things to try and scare Tom. To try and buy time, or unbalance Tom so he may have a chance at escape.
The important note is that Harry doesn't actually believe what he's saying to Tom. He's just saying what he thinks would bother Tom the most.
Harry had never shared this piece of information with anybody. He was very fond of his wand, and as far as he was concerned its relation to Voldemort’s wand was something it couldn’t help — rather as he couldn’t help being related to Aunt Petunia. However, he really hoped that Mr. Ollivander wasn’t about to tell the room about it. He had a funny feeling Rita Skeeter’s Quick-Quotes Quill might just explode with excitement if he did.
(GoF, 310)
This part about telling no one about his wand's connection to Voldemort is true. He never told anyone by that point in GoF. Not Ron, not Hermione, not Dumbledore, not even Sirius.
As I mentioned above, Harry is abused and distrustful. He's not at all Dumbledore's perfect soldier who trusts him with everything. In GoF, Harry decides against telling Dumbledore about his dreams and the pain in his scar:
“Your scar hurt? Harry, that’s really serious. . . . Write to Professor Dumbledore! And I’ll go and check Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions. . . . Maybe there’s something in there about curse scars. . . .” Yes, that would be Hermione’s advice: Go straight to the headmaster of Hogwarts, and in the meantime, consult a book. [...] As for informing the headmaster, Harry had no idea where Dumbledore went during the summer holidays. He amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, fulllength wizard’s robes, and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion onto his long crooked nose. Wherever Dumbledore was, though, Harry was sure that Hedwig would be able to find him; Harry’s owl had never yet failed to deliver a letter to anyone, even without an address. But what would he write? Dear Professor Dumbledore, Sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter. Even inside his head the words sounded stupid.
(GoF, 21)
Harry doesn't wish to share secrets with Dumbledore, nor does he feel comfortable to go to him with his troubles (his go-to adult while Sirius was around was always Sirius). Again, Hermione is mentioned as the one who trusts Dumbledore's authority, in Harry's head, but he's right, he knows her well.
Harry actually spends a good portion of the series purposefully trying to hide information from Dumbledore. (I'm saying 'trying ' because Dumbledore always found out, but not because Harry told him).
“He seemed to think it was best,” said Hermione rather breathlessly. “Dumbledore, I mean.” “Right,” said Harry. He noticed that her hands too bore the marks of Hedwig’s beak and found that he was not at all sorry. “I think he thought you were safest with the Muggles —” Ron began. “Yeah?” said Harry, raising his eyebrows. “Have either of you been attacked by dementors this summer?” “Well, no — but that’s why he’s had people from the Order of the Phoenix tailing you all the time -” Harry felt a great jolt in his guts as though he had just missed a step going downstairs. So everyone had known he was being followed except him. “Didn’t work that well, though, did it?” said Harry, doing his utmost to keep his voice even. “Had to look after myself after all, didn’t I?” “He was so angry,” said Hermione in an almost awestruck voice. “Dumbledore. We saw him. When he found out Mundungus had left before his shift had ended. He was scary.” “Well, I’m glad he left,” Harry said coldly. “If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have done magic and Dumbledore would probably have left me at Privet Drive all summer.”
(OotP, 63)
Harry is angry here, true, but he doubts Dumbledore's idea of what's "safe" for him. He's actually glad for the dementors because he doubts Dumbledore would've brought him over if it wasn't an emergency.
And Harry is right to be doubtful and suspicious. He's right that he's less safe at the Dursleys than at Grimmauld Place. He's right to feel angry and betrayed at literally everyone knowing he's being followed except for him. He's right Dumbledore probably wouldn't have brought him if it wasn't for the dementor attack. Harry is correct in each and every one of his assessments of Dumbledore's character and decisions here.
“No,” said Harry, shaking his head. “It’s more like . . . his mood, I suppose. I’m just getting flashes of what mood he’s in. . . . Dumbledore said something like this was happening last year. . . . He said that when Voldemort was near me, or when he was feeling hatred, I could tell. Well, now I’m feeling it when he’s pleased too. . . .” There was a pause. The wind and rain lashed at the building. “You’ve got to tell someone,” said Ron. “I told Sirius last time.” “Well, tell him about this time!” “Can’t, can I?” said Harry grimly. “Umbridge is watching the owls and the fires, remember?” “Well then, Dumbledore —” “I’ve just told you, he already knows,” said Harry shortly, getting to his feet, taking his cloak off his peg, and swinging it around himself. “There’s no point telling him again.” Ron did up the fastening of his own cloak, watching Harry thoughtfully. “Dumbledore’d want to know,” he said. Harry shrugged. “C’mon . . . we’ve still got Silencing Charms to practice . . .”
(OotP, 382)
Remember I mentioned Harry hiding things from Dumbledore? This is one of such occasions. There are more in GoF that I didn't copy, but this is an example of Voldemort-related, dangerous information Harry is hiding from Dumbledore because he doesn't trust him and doesn't feel comfortable telling him things.
“It’s lessons with Snape that are making it worse,” said Harry flatly. “I’m getting sick of my scar hurting, and I’m getting bored walking down that corridor every night.” He rubbed his forehead angrily. “I just wish the door would open, I’m sick of standing staring at it —” “That’s not funny,” said Hermione sharply. “Dumbledore doesn’t want you to have dreams about that corridor at all, or he wouldn’t have asked Snape to teach you Occlumency. You’re just going to have to work a bit harder in your lessons.” “I am working!” said Harry, nettled. “You try it sometime, Snape trying to get inside your head, it’s not a bundle of laughs, you know!” “Maybe . . .” said Ron slowly. “Maybe what?” said Hermione rather snappishly. “Maybe it’s not Harry’s fault he can’t close his mind,” said Ron darkly. “What do you mean?” said Hermione. “Well, maybe Snape isn’t really trying to help Harry. . . .” Harry and Hermione stared at him. Ron looked darkly and meaningfully from one to the other. “Maybe,” he said again in a lower voice, “he’s actually trying to open Harry’s mind a bit wider . . . make it easier for You-Know —” “Shut up, Ron,” said Hermione angrily. “How many times have you suspected Snape, and when have you ever been right? Dumbledore trusts him, he works for the Order, that ought to be enough.” “He used to be a Death Eater,” said Ron stubbornly. “And we’ve never seen proof that he really swapped sides. . . .” “Dumbledore trusts him,” Hermione repeated. “And if we can’t trust Dumbledore, we can’t trust anyone.”
(OotP, 554)
Again we see the same exact dynamic from first year. Hermione is loyal to Dumbledore, not even considering he might be wrong about something, or not have their best interests at heart. Ron and Harry on the other hand, are both open to the possibility that things aren't so simple. They don't think Dumbledore is intentionally harming Harry, but they think he's wrong about Snape. Something Hermione, Arthur and Molly would never consider.
(This is actually the most annoying thing in Hermione's character for me, her unshakable faith in Dumbledore, who doesn't deserve her trust)
“. . . so you see what this means?” Harry finished at a gallop. “Dumbledore won’t be here tonight, so Malfoy’s going to have another clear shot at whatever he’s up to. No, listen to me!” he hissed angrily, as both Ron and Hermione showed every sign of interrupting. “I know it was Malfoy celebrating in the Room of Requirement. Here —” He shoved the Marauder’s Map into Hermione’s hands. “You’ve got to watch him and you’ve got to watch Snape too. Use anyone else who you can rustle up from the D.A., Hermione, those contact Galleons will still work, right? Dumbledore says he’s put extra protection in the school, but if Snape’s involved, he’ll know what Dumbledore’s protection is, and how to avoid it — but he won’t be expecting you lot to be on the watch, will he?” “Harry —” began Hermione, her eyes huge with fear.
(HBP, 552)
Even in book 6, the book Harry grows the most comfortable and trusting towards Dumbledore, even then, he doesn't trust Dumbledore. He thinks (and somewhat rightly so because he doesn't know of Snape and Dumbledore's plan) that Dumbledore is wrong about Snape. that Dumbledore is wrong about Malfoy. Harry doesn't trust that whatever protections Dumbledore would leave would be enough (and they weren't).
Even at the end of HBP, the point in the series where Harry has the most faith in Dumbledore, Harry still doesn't trust Dumbledore's judgment or his ability to protect the school. Even after Dumbledore calls Harry out on it, telling him the safety of the students is important to him, Harry still tells Ron and Hermione to get the DA to protect the school without notifying Dumbledore.
And Dumbledore raised Harry to feel responsible for the school's safety, Harry is doing what he was "bred" to do. But he does it behind Dumbledore's back, because like every adult, Harry deep down expects to be let down. After all, he's used to saving the school himself.
So, no, Harry never really trusted Dumbledore fully. At least, not Dumbledore's judgment. Harry does believe Dumbledore's intentions are good for the most part, even if ineffective.
“He never told me his sister was a Squib,” said Harry, without thinking, still cold inside. “And why on earth would he tell you?” screeched Muriel, swaying a little in her seat as she attempted to focus upon Harry [...] Where was saintly Albus while Ariana was locked in the cellar? Off being brilliant at Hogwarts, and never mind what was going on in his own house!” “What d’you mean, locked in the cellar?” asked Harry. “What is this?” Doge looked wretched. Auntie Muriel cackled again and answered Harry. [...] Numbly Harry thought of how the Dursleys had once shut him up, locked him away, kept him out of sight, all for the crime of being a wizard. Had Dumbledore’s sister suffered the same fate in reverse: imprisoned for her lack of magic? Had Dumbledore truly left her to her fate while he went off to Hogwarts to prove himself brilliant and talented?
(DH, 135-137)
And in Deathley Hollows, Harry is very quick to start questioning and doubting Dumbledore. Especially when compared to Hermione:
“Harry—” But he shook his head. Some inner certainty had crashed down inside him; it was exactly as he had felt after Ron left. He had trusted Dumbledore, believed him the embodiment of goodness and wisdom. All was ashes: How much more could he lose? Ron, Dumbledore, the phoenix wand . . . “Harry.” She seemed to have heard his thoughts. “Listen to me. It—it doesn’t make very nice reading—” “Yeah, you could say that—” “—but don’t forget, Harry this is Rita Skeeter writing.” “You did read that letter to Grindelwald, didn’t you?” “Yes, I—I did.” She hesitated, looking upset, cradling her tea in her cold hands.
(DH, 311)
Harry is hurt, he feels betrayed, because while he never 100% trusted Dumbledore's judgment, he trusted his intentions. He trusted Dumbledore was good and cared for him. He feels cold and betrayed, showing trust in his intentions. But his readiness to accept Skeeter's and Muriel's accusations so quickly shows he always had his doubts about Dumbledore and they never really left, even if he wanted to trust him, he never did, not fully.
Hermione, on the other hand, who was always loyal and trusted Dumbledore (both his intentions and judgment) 100%, tries to rationalize Dumbledore's actions and convince herself everyone who says bad things about him is lying.
Harry doesn't. Because out of the Golden Trio, Hermione was always Dumbledore's woman, Ron and Harry... not really. Not as much.
“That old berk,” muttered Aberforth, taking another swig of mead. “Thought the sun shone out of my brother’s every office, he did. Well, so did plenty of people, you three included, by the looks of it.” Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. He had made his choice while he dug Dobby’s grave, he had decided to continue along the winding, dangerous path indicated for him by Albus Dumbledore, to accept that he had not been told everything that he wanted to know, but simply to trust. He had no desire to doubt again; he did not want to hear anything that would deflect him from his purpose. He met Aberforth’s gaze, which was so strikingly like his brothers’: The bright blue eyes gave the same impression that they were X-raying the object of their scrutiny, and Harry thought that Aberforth knew what he was thinking and despised him for it. “Professor Dumbledore cared about Harry, very much,” said Hermione in a low voice. “Did he now?” said Aberforth. “Funny thing how many of the people my brother cared about very much ended up in a worse state than if he’d left ’em well alone.”
(DH, 478)
More of how Harry thinks about Dumbledore, showing, again, how he always had his doubts and reservations but he chooses to trust Dumbledore's intentions because otherwise, he doesn't think he has any hope to defeat Voldemort. He chooses to keep following Dumbledore's path because he has no real choice but to trust what he sees as the only path that'll lead to Voldemort's destruction. But Harry has plenty of doubts about Dumbledore.
Hermione, on the other hand, has little to no doubts. She doesn't allow herself to doubt.
And this pattern, of Harry doubting Dumbledore again and again, never truly trusting him, just trusting his plan will kill Voldemort... like, how does that lead Harry to want to name his kid 'Albus'? I just don't get it...
TL;DR
Harry likes to say he's Dumbledore's man, but he always had his reservations, even when he choose to ignore them since trusting Dumbledore's plan felt like his only chance at survival. Hermione is much more trusting of Dumbledore than Harry is.
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sketchy--akechi · 1 day
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Shuake/Akeshu Reunion
If you were tasked to make THE Shuake/Akeshu Reunion, how would you write it/how would it play out. How long would Goro have been MIA for, and how would Akira have dealt with it? Give me all your thoughts on this. I wanna know ABSOLUTELY everything on how you'd have them come back together. Would it be them just meeting by chance on day on the street? Or would another Metaverse Shenanigans thing be going on and they would meet that way?
Okay okay okay. First of all. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PICK ONE If we're talking about fics, I love any and all forms of Shuake reunions. Metaverse shenanigans are great but them running into each other at the nearest 7 Eleven is equally as great. Or Akechi randomly showing up at Leblanc one day or in Akira's hometown. Or as part of the Shadow OPs. Seriously shoutout to each and every writer who made a Shuake reunion fic they're all great and I love you all BUT JUST FOR THIS ASK. FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING A COHERENT ANSWER. Let's assume I'm a writer at Atlus for one day and I could write the canon reunion (Atlus please hire me) Then I would really really like to pick up the scrapped idea of an Akechi palace again. Like imagine a new P5 game, about yet another form of the Metaverse appearing and the Thieves investigating, and slowly but surely they realize that they're in Akechi's palace, and Akechi is in a weird state between alive and dead AND THEY HAVE TO SAVE HIM- Ideally it would be a Royal-centric spin-off, so maybe it's just Akira and Sumi rescuing Akechi so there can be a bigger focus on the Royal Trio relationship (no offense to the other Thieves but we got enough spin-off games about them LMAO) I get the feeling that Akira would show his emotions more openly if the other Thieves aren't there, and if there's a reunion after 2/2, I REALLY need it to be emotional ya know, if Atlus portrayed Akira as a blank state self insert during a moment like this when we all know that Akechi was his biggest wish in Maruki's reality then I will. pick a fight
Also I need a hug. I don't care if it's just something like, Akechi falling unconscious and Akira catching him I NEED A HUG I NEED PHYSICAL INTIMACY BETWEEN THEM
I also need a new Metaverse outfit for Akechi based on Hereward because we all know it would slap so hard
THAT'S ALL I HAVE FOR NOW. PLEASE ADD YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW. BE CAREFUL THOUGH OR LIZ WILL HAVE TO MAKE YET ANOTHER GOROGAME
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Nightmare
MC x Solomon Warnings: Hurt/Comfort Word Count: 1709
A/N: The song is Nightmare by Set It Off. It's one of my favorite songs and made me think of Solomon awhile back. I'm glad I finally got to write this story. It took a different direction than I thought it would, but I still like how it turned out. I hope you enjoy!
They're coming, creeping from the corner
And all I know is that I don't feel safe
Solomon doesn't talk about his past much. You knew this. Of course you knew this. You’ve tried so many times to get Solomon to tell you stories from his life. He would brush off your requests with some cheeky one-liner and that was that. So, you didn’t get to know the real reason why he’s always on edge. “We’re humans in the Devildom, MC. Why wouldn’t I be?” That’s his response whenever you asked him about it. Nevermind that Solomon managed to beat Diavolo when he was mad and actively going for Solomon’s throat. Nevermind that he walked from the Human World all the way to the underworld and then back. Nevermind that he’s fought a war against the Devildom. 
The only thing that you really know is that Solomon doesn’t feel safe. You’re actually not sure if you’ve ever seen him truly relaxed. Sure he puts up this laid back facade, but you know him better than that. Which is why you’re not entirely shocked by the sight before you upon coming home.
I feel the tapping on my shoulder
I turn around in an alarming state
But am I losing my mind? I really think so
Not a creature in sight
Solomon whips around when he hears the door click, eyes wide with fear. He’s scared of something. You’re not sure what, but he is. 
“Sol… Is everything alright?”
“MC, I-” He cuts himself off and looks over your shoulder and then peers out the window.
But, what you don't know
Is that my breathing gets faster and so does my heartbeat
I wish this was over, I wish that this was a dream
He can feel his heartbeat speeding up. It’s getting hard for him to breathe. This hasn’t happened in awhile. He’s usually good at hiding these things from everyone. But not now, not from you. 
“MC, I don’t-” He closes his eyes and tries to take a deep breath. Anything to get this to stop. For things to go back to normal, where he could pretend everything was okay.
“Sol, look at me. Can you look at me?”
I created a monster, a hell within my head
With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own
Oh, I'm so scared
Solomon opens his eyes and there are tears forming. You’ve never seen him cry before. In fact, any vulnerability is a rare sight. It’s becoming more frequent, but the moments are few and far between.
“Here, now put your hand here,” You say, guiding his hand to your chest. “Take a deep breath with me. In.” You take a deep breath in and watch as Solomon tries to do the same. He shakes his head, unable to get a deep breath in. “That’s okay. Just keep your hand here. Can I try something?”
I created a monster, a beast inside my brain
With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own
My mind impaired
Awake me from my nightmare
Solomon nods, tears falling from his eyes. His voice cracks. “Please.”
You move your hands to his face and gently pull him until your foreheads are touching. Your thumbs lightly stroke his cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. “Okay, I want you to close your eyes and focus on my voice. Can you do that for me?”
Solomon nods and closes his eyes. 
“Okay. I want you to think of the place you feel the safest. Think really hard about it. Do you have a place in mind?”
Solomon nods again, breathing slowing ever so slightly.
“Okay, can you describe it to me?” You ask.
“It’s your bedroom when we sleep together in there,” He responds. This makes your heart swell. The place he feels safest is with you.
“Can you tell me specific details? I want you to make this as real as possible in your mind.”
“The blankets are soft. It’s warm because you’re next to me, but it’s not too hot. The room is dark, except for the moonlight that comes through the window.” Solomon’s breathing is slowly returning to normal as he describes your room to you. 
When he finishes and his breathing returns to normal, you take him into a hug.
“Thank you, MC,” Solomon says, hugging you back. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and you feel tears starting to fall from his eyes.
“I’ll always be here for you Sol. Can you talk to me about what’s going on?”
Wait, something doesn't feel right
No, something seems wrong
And I've been feeling this way
For far too long
“I don’t even know where to start. There’s just so much.”
You slowly rub his back, hoping to comfort him even more. “How about you just tell me one thing. One thing that’s upsetting you.”
“Okay. I don’t feel safe, MC. Something feels wrong but I don’t know what it is. It’s like this feeling that something terrible is going to happen or that something is off.” 
“Solomon, you’ve lived a very long life. And I’m sure you have been through a lot of things that would traumatize most people. That’s going to have some lasting effects on you. Let me try something that works for me. Can you tell me what terrible thing you think is going to happen that has you so upset right now?”
“I’m scared I’m going to lose you again, MC. I’m scared that one day you’re going to go out and you won’t come back.”
Your heart breaks for him when you hear that. “Okay, let’s break this down. Why is that a realistic fear?”
“You’re a human in the Devildom. Most demons want to eat you.”
“Okay, and now, why is that fear unlikely to come true?”
“You’re a very capable magic user. And you have a lot of powerful beings watching over you.”
“I don’t think Diavolo would take very kindly to a demon trying to harm me, do you?”
Solomon lets out a tearful laugh. “No, probably not. Seeing him genuinely angry is a rare sight, but I know that whatever demon tried to hurt you would be in for a real bad time.”
“Okay, see? While there is always a chance I’ll get hurt, it’s very unlikely. I don’t think many demons are stupid enough to face the wrath of some of the most powerful beings in the three realms. Now, is there anything else that’s upsetting you?”
As my vision gets blurred, my skin's getting colder
Appearing young, while I'm growing older
I collapse to the floor and scream
"Can anybody save me from myself?"
“I feel trapped, MC. I stay at this physical age, but I grow older every year. Every so often I have to move around, pretending to be a new person. It’s hard to keep any human friends because they all grow older and I don’t. One day you’re going to grow old too. But I will always stay just like I am. Most people would kill to be immortal, but it just feels like a curse anymore.” More tears fall onto your shoulder.
“I can’t imagine how lonely that would be. But, I want you to remember that you do have friends. The brothers, for one. I mean, remember Asmo and Mammon fighting over what Asmo should get you for your birthday? They care about you. And, while I might not always be around, you still have me for quite awhile. And who knows, maybe I’ll stumble upon some ancient artifact that turns me immortal. With how things seem to work for me, that is a possibility.”
Walking to the ledge, I find myself looking down
Frozen still with fear, now I'm plunging to the ground
If only I knew how to fly
Then I could convince myself this isn't my time to die
Solomon laughs again. “Yeah, it is… But I wouldn’t wish immortality upon you MC. It’s truly not as great as it seems. It’s… It’s hell. You watch everything change around you as everyone you know and love grows old and dies. And then you have to start over somewhere else.”
“I have plenty of loved ones who aren’t going to grow old and die. You, for one.” You give him a comforting squeeze and continue to rub his back.
“Yeah, but what about your human family? What about your human friends? Watching the people you love die isn’t an easy thing.”
“No, but that’s a part of life. And I’m sure staying the same age while they get older is hard, but I have you guys. It wouldn’t all be bad. Getting to stay with you forever wouldn’t be bad.”
“Staying with you forever sounds nice… But I still wouldn’t wish this upon you. I don’t want you to turn into what I have.”
“What, a wonderful person who protects humanity? Someone who would do anything to help the ones he loves? That sounds like a pretty good person to me.”
“You have too high an opinion of me, MC.”
Instead, I'm rocketing faster and faster
I dive-bomb to the floor
And when my body crashes to the pavement
I'm right back where I was before
“No, I think my opinion of you is just right.”
Solomon lets out a shaky breath as a few more tears fall. “Everyone calls me shady, some even call me evil. Your opinion-”
You cut him off. “My opinion matters more than a bunch of demons who don’t actually know you. Have you done shady things? Sure. But don’t forget the ones calling you shady are literal demons. They don’t get an opinion when they’re worse than shady themselves. You’re doing great Sol. Despite what you and everyone else thinks, you’re doing great just how you are.”
I created a monster, a hell within my head
With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own
Oh, I'm so scared
Awake me from my nightmare
Solomon sniffles, pulling his face back up and wiping the rest of his tears. “Thank you, MC. I love you and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
You smile at him. “I love you too Solomon.”
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in1-nutshell · 2 days
Text
Bot Buddy being Rodimus's older sister and having a crush on Swerve
SFW, Platonic, Familial, Hinted Romance, Cybertronain reader
Buddy is a near carbon copy of Rodimus.
Key word ‘almost’.
Instead of sporting the red and oranges being her main color on her frame, Buddy has more blue tones with some yellow around.
That is where all similarities end.
Buddy being related to Ultra Magnus makes more sense than her being related to Rodimus.
“Hey Buddy! Watch this!”--Rodimus
Rodimus on the top of a tall shelf.
“Rodimus No!”—Buddy and Magnus
Buddy and Magnus look at each other in surprise.
“… I hate when you two do that.”--Rodimus
“Don’t care, get down here before you break something or hurt yourself.”--Buddy
“But—”--Rodimus
“Rodimus.”--Magnus
“…”--Rodimus
She was in fact close to him though.
Being a part of the Elite Guard for most of the war can do that.
The other part was stationed around communications and message relay for the Guard or the Wreckers.
That was where she first met Swerve.
It was purely by accident.
Swerve had been given the wrong number and connected her instead.
“Hello? How may I help you?”--Buddy
“You’re not Blurr. Who are you?”--Swerve
“You have the help line for the Wrecker’s and Elite Guard, do you require any assistance?”--Buddy
“Oh, no not really. I thought I had Blurr’s number. You know Blurr?”--Swerve
“Yes, I am familiar with the racer.”--Buddy
“Isn’t he the best! We were going to hatch a plan to build and run a bar when the war ended.”--Swerve
“Really? Blurr agreed to that?”--Buddy
“Absolutely! He even gave me his number, but I must have punched in the wrong digits and contacted you instead. Not that you haven’t been nice and all!”--Swerve
Buddy laughing a little bit.
“Its all right… umm… what is your designation?”--Buddy
“The names Swerve! And who might I be speaking with if you don’t mind?”--Swerve
“I’m Buddy—”--Buddy
“You’re THE Buddy!? Wow! This is just my day! I’ve heard so much about you and your work with the Elite Guard, The Wrecker’s…”--Swerve
Buddy gets a bit more comfortable on her end ready to continue this pleasant conversation with Swerve.
It was a slow day anyways… it felt nice.
That started a slow friendship between the two.
The chats had to happen on scheduled days since Swerve had a habit of talking too much and Buddy didn’t like to stop him.
Buddy refused to talk to Hot Rod about this.
Swerve was her friend.
Finally, someone that hadn’t been friends with Hot Rod before knowing her.
She was going to protect her friend’s identity as long as she could.
But of course, Hot Rod had a feeling his sister was hiding something from him and was going to get to the bottom of it.
Hot Rod dramatically draping his frame on Buddy’s berth.
“Why won’t you tell me!”—Hot Rod
Buddy rolling her optics.
“I’m not telling you squat Roddy.”--Buddy
Hot Rod suddenly sitting up.
“What if its… someone?”—Hot Rod
Buddy frame stiffens a bit.
“It is someone!”—Hot Rod
Hot Rod flopping on her back and starts popping her side annoyingly.
“Who’s the lucky bot who’s got my stuck up of a sister like this?”—Hot Rod
Buddy grabs his digit and slightly bends it backwards.
“Hey! OWW!”-Hot Rod
“Keep it up and I’ll bend more than your digit Hot Rod. Got that?”--Buddy
Buddy lets go of his digit and crosses her arms glaring at him.
“Fine, fine, I wont start talking about your secret—”—Hot Rod
Buddy judo flips her brother to the floor.
Hot Rod was over the moon hearing that there might be someone out there for his stuck-up sis.
Maybe it would help loosen her up.
Primus knows she needs to stop stressing so much.
Buddy just wishes that Hot Rod would drop the subject… but is secretly pleased to hear that he is happy that she found someone she likes.
…then came Rodimus Prime.
Buddy felt their sibling bond significantly weakened thanks to the matrix bonding.
Rodimus didn’t seem to notice but Buddy did.
But she refused to acknowledge it to him.
He was a Prime now, he had other things to worry about than her.
Just pushing through trying to get her work done.
Timeskip to the Lost Light…
Buddy was not aware that Swerve was on the ship until she got wind of the bar.
She walked in and zeroed in on the minibot.
Buddy walking over to the bar where Swerve had his back to her.
“Welcome to Swerve’s you see anything you like?”--Swerve
Buddy smiles a bit.
“Hmm… I don’t know you recommend anything Swerve?”--Buddy
Swerve stops cleaning the glass in his servo and turns around, wide eyed.
Buddy smiles a bit more seeing Swerve’s own face light up.
“Buddy!”--Swerve
Swerve reaches over the bar to hug his friend.
Several bots at the bar stop seeing the small bartender hugging one of the most strict bots on bourd.
“… 20 shanix that Buddy tells Swerve off.”--Skids
“Deal.”--Chromedome
“Domey--”--Rewind
“Wrong. 50 and she throws him out.”--Whirl
“She wouldn’t do that… right?”--Tailgate
Buddy hugs Swerve back while silent chaos ensues behind them.
So many bots thought that Swerve was going to die that day.
Rodimus had so many com pings within that hour.
He brushes the pings off like a rumor.
Especially when he hears about something potentially happening between Buddy and Swerve.
… That changes when Rodimus starts to notice Buddy hanging out more and more at Swerve’s.
This was the first flag to be raised.
Buddy doesn’t ‘do’ crowded bars.
But he brushes it off as Buddy finally letting loose.
Rodimus is talking with Drift when he notices Buddy at the bar.
“Isn’t it nice seeing Buddy happy?”--Drift
“Hmm? Yeah… but it’s a bit weird seeing her out here.”--Rodimus
Drift raises an optic.
“She doesn’t like big, crowded places, it’s ‘Too loud and too much engex being spilled all over’.”--Rodimus
Drift looking at Buddy happily talking with Swerve at the counter.
“Maybe she’s here for someone?”--Drift
Rodimus downing the rest of his drink laughing at the end.
“Ha! That’ll be the day.”--Rodimus
One time a rather rude bot had come to the bar and demanded to know why he was cut off from the drinks.
All while he was slowly tipping to the side.
Buddy tried to de-escalate the situation.
“Listen, we are all civilized bots here. Lets just get you back to your habsuite or the med bay if—”--Buddy
The bot looks at Buddy and spits in their face.
“Can it! Your nothing more of a has been-washout-guards-bot who is only good for a pretty paperweight!”—Random Bot
Buddy wipes the spit infused engex from her optics, glares at the bot harshly, about to unleash the Pits when she gets interrupted.
“HEY!”--Swerve
Swerve stands on the bar counter gaining some height, his servos shaking at his sides.
“Don’t you EVER talk to her like that! Now. Get. Out. Of. MY! BAR!”—Swerve
Buddy feels her spark skip a pulse looking at the mini bartender.
The bot tries to take a swing at him, but Buddy grabs the fist in her’s.
Buddy’s optics blazing in fury.
“You heard the minibot.”--Buddy
Buddy kicks the bot in the back of the knee and throws the frame across her shoulder.
Marching outside and kicking the bot several feet away from the entrance.
“Get. Out.”—Buddy
“… She gonna be my Amica.”--Whirl
“Whirl, not the time.”--Cyclonus
“Well, I can’t be her Conjunx. Swerve has that covered; this is the next best thing.”--Whirl
“Swerve does not—”--Tailgate
Whirl points at Swerve still standing on the counter with a lovesick smile on his face.
“…Maybe your right.”--Tailgate
“Tailgate, Whirl no.”--Cyclonus
“Hold on Cyclonus, they might have a point.”--Rewind
“Rewind—”--Chromedome
Cylcnous puts a servo on Chromedome’s shoulder shaking his helm.
Chromedome sighs giving in as Whirl, Tailgate, and Rewind scheming in silence.
Buddy managed to cuff the bot and send him to Magnus.
The bot never came back to Swerve’s.
Swerve has heart shaped optics behind his visor.
You’d have to be blind not to see his clear ‘admiration’ for the former member of the Elite Guard.
But he is convinced that all of this will pass.
It’s not like Buddy would actually have feelings for him.
Meanwhile Buddy has started creating Swerve/Love playlists in secret.
A secret that she is taking with her until she goes offline.
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bit-dodgy-innit · 3 days
Text
We're Not Here to F*ck Spiders
Summary: You were the oldest Spider-Girl the society had ever encountered, therefore, Miguel took a special interest in you. He wanted to know if your life would correspond with his and the other Spiders’ canon, or whether you had a completely different canon you were forging on your own. After an offhanded comment about reviewing your canon with Miguel outside of headquarters, your relationship with Spider-Man 2099 is forever changed.
Set in between ITSV and ATSV.
Pairing: Marc x OC Female!Reader
For context, Reader is an alternate, grown-up version of Mayday due to personal reasons (personal reasons being I’ve been obsessed with Mayday Parker since I was baby child)! No real use of Y/N, though Miguel does refer to the reader as "May" twice and Peter Parker nicknamed her Mayhem. Peter B.'s daughter is Mayday.
Word Count: 10.2k words (see why this took me forever?!)
Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI!!
CW/TW: An obscene amount of world-building, parents and kids fighting, mentions of a loss of a child, everyone being hot for Miguel, rough-ish sex (both partners are superheroes, come on), our boy is HUNG, dirty talk, a bit of cocky dom!Miguel, oral f!receiving, a lil bit of both m and f!receiving nipple play, PIV sex, riding, a quick spank, creampie, felching, and perhaps most intense of all, Miguel’s fear of commitment.
A/N: hahahahahaha this movie is nearly a year old and I FINALLY got around to writing a fic for it! Trust that I've been working on this on and off for a while now, but life has been nuts and writing more and more for work (yay!) but wanted to get this out while I had a slow week for everyone to enjoy!
Also, due to more personal reasons, my HC for Reader's parents are Peter and Mary Jane from Sam Raimi's masterpiece in 2002. But no presh if that doesn't jibe with ya!
I MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THIS FIC AND I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD OF ANYTHING
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“Careful, Mayday!” you fondly called after the child who was literally bouncing off the cavernous walls of HQ. Yeesh, were you this energetic when you were her age? Probably. It never ceased to be weird, hanging out with an alternate baby version of yourself, but you could manage if you pretended she was your little niece, or sister, or something like that. 
The alternate baby version of Mayday Parker in question didn’t heed your admonishment at all (which tracked), so you called again, “Oh noooo…I’m gonna have to come up there and get ya!”
Mayday squealed in delight at your “threat” and only zipped around quicker. However, you had a couple decades on her, so your reflexes were more attuned. It didn’t take long for you to capture her in your grasp and tickle her. However, little Mayday wasn’t going to give up that easily. She squirmed out of your hold and began scaling the nearby wall at a dizzying pace. 
“Okay, missy, let’s settle down,” you announced, shooting a web to meet the infant on the platform she’d crawled onto. You continued to speak as you swung, “you know how Miguel is, we can’t get too carried…away.”
You nearly threw yourself back off the platform when you were met with the sight of Miguel himself standing before you holding May. 
“Oh, hi,” you gestured to the squirming girl in his hands, “thanks. I was right behind her.” 
“What am I like?” He asked, an inquisitive arch in his brow. 
“You’re…you run a tight ship that’s all,” you wished a portal would swallow you whole. “And it’s great! We need it.”
“Are you supposed to be anywhere?” Miguel prodded further as he passed you May. 
“Me? No, it's my day off.”
“Then why are you here?” 
“Because you put Peter B. on a mission and it gives me anxiety when he takes her.” 
“You and me both,” he huffed. 
“That being said, anything I can help you with?”
��Yeah actually, I have new sequencing to go over with you.” 
Though the multiverse was ever-expanding, you were the oldest Spider-Girl the society had ever encountered, therefore, Miguel had taken a special interest in you. Since you were a second generation Spider, Miguel wanted to know if your life would correspond with his, your dad’s, and the other Spiders’ canon, or whether you had a completely different canon you were forging on your own. You initially found the whole concept fascinating, yet that interest waned pretty quickly when Miguel informed you that he was going to have Lyla analyze your entire life and have you expound on your experiences so he could compare you to the other Spiders. 
Not that there was anything you were particularly ashamed of, but some of this stuff was embarrassing. Unlike baby Mayday, whose powers had already emerged, yours didn’t make an appearance until puberty. Reviewing your awkward teen years wasn’t exactly your ideal way of spending time with an unfairly hot guy, let alone the head of Spider Society.  
“Oh okay, yeah,” you replied. “When Peter gets ba—“
“MAYDAY! WHERE’S MY PUMPKIN?” Peter’s voice echoed across the room. 
No sooner had Peter spoken did Mayday websling herself off of the platform and into her father’s arms. 
Shit, there went your excuse. A nervous chuckle escaped you, “Convenient.” 
“Sí. Follow me.”
You did as Miguel said and trailed behind him to his…office didn’t quite describe it. Work station? Lair? You lasted all of forty-five seconds before your gaze dropped to his sculpted backside, a new record for you. 
It really was unfair that the intense, ornery leader of the Spider Society had to be so damn fine. You were a superhero and a consummate professional, but at the end of the day, you were a mostly heterosexual human woman with eyes. Miguel was stupidly sexy. His shoulder-to-waist ratio, that chiseled face, and of course, perfectly round ass had been the topic of a few hushed, giggly conversations between you and the other Spiders that liked boys. 
It was only ever cheeky whispers however. All of you knew better than to catch any real feelings for Miguel. One, it was majorly inappropriate. And two, he’d built emotional walls higher than the tallest skyscrapers in Nueva York. 
Still, your mind couldn’t help but wander every now and then…you blamed it on your latest breakup. Spider-Girl duties had yet again claimed another potential partner. You suspected that was the reason it was more and more difficult not to fantasize about Miguel lately. Like sure, he was probably an animal in bed in the best way, but it was the prospect of not having to hide anything from him that appealed to you even more. 
“Lyla, bring up the latest sequencing,” Miguel ordered. 
If it weren’t for your spider-senses, you would’ve collided with his impossibly cut back, you were so deep into your thirsty thoughts. 
Suddenly, you were back on Earth-982A in your childhood bedroom. Or at least, that’s where you appeared to be. The virtual surroundings would’ve been comforting if it weren’t for the particular event that Miguel had wanted to revisit. 
Your father was forbidding you to use your powers. Again. You gazed at the rendering of your teenage self with compassion. Now, your father was fully supportive of you following in his footsteps, but the journey there had been rough. 
“You know, most parents would be happy if their kid wanted to do something to help the world!” 
Your dad scoffed. “That doesn’t matter - I’m not most parents and you’re not most kids!”
“Yeah and whose fault is that?!” Virtual you fired back. “I was born like this because of you! Dad, you’re always telling me that ‘with great power, comes great responsibility’ and now when I discover I inherited that great power, I can’t use it!?” 
“Pause,” Miguel’s voice spooked you back into the present. When you finally shook yourself from the memory that was playing before you, you found his eyes on yours. “Okay, there. Define ‘always’.”
“Quantitatively?” 
“Preferably.” 
“That’s impossible.” 
“Qualitatively, then.” 
“I mean, it's one of those things he said so much that I can’t remember the first time I heard it.” 
“When did your dad first hear it?” 
“His Uncle Ben told him during their last conversation together.” 
“Checks out. And how old was he?” 
“He was a senior in high school, so like seventeen, eighteen?” 
Miguel nodded. Even though x-ray vision nor telepathy weren’t in your powerset, you could practically see all the comparisons and calculations he was making in his head. 
“So using your powers to help people, that was your instinct when you inherited your abilities.”
“Yeah.” 
Miguel nodded again. 
“It’s different, isn’t it?” you asked him. He didn’t reply. “My dad told me he entered some god awful cage-match-wrestling-thing to get enough money to buy a car and impress my mom before he officially became Spider-Man.” 
Miguel was seemingly too busy with entering his latest data to respond. Instead, he barked at Lyla, “Resume sequence.” 
The holographic version of your dad lurched back to life to argue, “May, you are my great responsibility! So if I say no powers, no powers! I did this a lot longer than you! ” 
Tears streamed down your adolescent face. Thankfully, you’d lost some of the baby fat since.  “I hate you! I HATE YOU DAD!!” 
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. This wasn’t easy to live, let alone re-live. So, as a Spider, naturally you made a jaunty, off-handed comment. “Wow, you really know how to show a girl a good time.” 
“Qué?” 
“Nothing.” He fixed you with his signature scowl so you elaborated, “Seriously, nothing. Though, maybe if we did this in an environment where I had access to alcohol and carbs, this would be less um…less unsettling for me.”
Miguel stared at you blankly. “But the simulator is here.”
“Right, of course.” Ughhhh, why was he so damn pretty?! “Forget I said anything, Miguel.” 
He dropped it, but before the simulation could start again, your gizmo beeped. Benji’s basketball game started in twenty. 
“Actually, sorry, I have to go.” 
“But we just got started.” 
“I know, but I haven’t been able to catch one of my little brother’s games yet this season, and it’s almost the playoffs.”
“Won’t he under–”
You interrupted Miguel. “You realize spider-stuff is not a viable excuse with my family, right? Besides, it’s my day off. I’m only here out of the goodness of my own heart and my commitment to the Spider-Society.” 
He rolled his eyes at your remark, but couldn’t help a little half - nay, quarter - smile from forming across the lips you had fantasized about kissing one too many times. “Things are quiet for once. We should knock this out now.” 
“We should,” you conceded as you created a portal, “but trying to have some semblance of work-life balance is Spider-Girl canon.”
And with that, you hopped back into your world, before you could change your mind or say anything else stupid and/or unintentionally flirty to Miguel. 
You re-appeared in your apartment with just enough time to throw on clothes and swing over to the middle school. Your mom was waiting as you hurried into the gym right as Benji and the other players were taking the court. 
“Look who made it,” MJ observed wryly. 
“Ha ha,” you fired back humorlessly, but pulled your mom into a hug all the same. “Where’s Dad?”
The ref’s whistle signaled tip off and the beginning of the game, momentarily distracting you two. You were thrilled to see Benji starting – he really wanted to make JV when he started high school next year, and this was a step in the right direction. 
“Go Benji!!” MJ cheered before answering your question, “He hit traffic coming from the station. He’ll be here soon.” 
Your collective attention was pulled to the game unfolding in front of you, then MJ asked, “What have you been up to today?” 
“Me? I was at the society for a bit, helping with the baby.”
You didn’t need to see your mother to know that she tensed at the mention of the Spider-Society and Peter B.’s Mayday. It, understandably, weirded her out. 
“How can it not be strange to care for–”
“It would be if we were closer in age,” you pointed out. “But it’s just like babysitting with Mayday right now. And trust me, after all the versions of Dad I’ve met, hanging out with little me is nothing.” 
Despite being weirded out, your mom always tried to empathize, so she switched gears. “Anything interesting happen?” 
“Ugh, just more sequencing with Miguel - today was a tough one.”
“Why?”
“Fights with Dad from years ago that I know we’ve moved past, but still suck to watch.” 
Your mom took your hand in hers, a much-needed grounding gesture. “Well, you’re back in the present, in your corner of the universe now, sweetie.” 
You gave her hand an appreciative squeeze and took her words to heart, focusing on the basketball game in front of you. It didn’t take too long to put the earlier events from headquarters behind you – Benji scored a couple baskets and you took it upon yourself to meticulously document the game on your phone for memories and possible future blackmail. 
When your Dad did join you and MJ, you couldn’t help but hug him tightly. You buried your face into his coat, which smelled like a mix of smoke from the streets and his aftershave. 
It was Peter’s mix of spider and paternal instincts that prompted him to ask, “Everything okay?” 
“Yeah,” you assured him, giving him some space. “I just–I love you, Dad.” 
“Love you too, Mayhem.” Where Mayday was Peter B’s moniker for his daughter, Mayhem was your dad’s nickname for you.
The game ended in victory for Benji’s team, the Midtown Mavericks, and you three waited for the youngest member of the Parker family to emerge from the locker room. 
Benji’s face when he saw you made any lingering discomfort you had leaving Miguel one thousand percent worth it. “You made it!” 
“Wouldn’t miss it!” you pulled Benji into a hug - however reluctant he was to it since he was a ~teenager~ now. “Dude, you put up points tonight!” 
But Benji had gotten distracted, so instead of responding to you, he murmured “Woah, that guy is swole.” 
You turned around to see who he was talking about and your jaw nearly hit the floor. 
It was Miguel. 
Even more incredibly, he was in civilian clothes. It wasn’t until you witnessed him in dark wash jeans, a henley, and a well-worn bomber jacket that you realized that you’d actually never seen Miguel in anything other than his spider suit. 
He called your name and you acknowledged him with a wave, flabbergasted. Even more astonished that you knew this very attractive hunk of man was your brother, “Wait, you know him?!”
“We work together,” you said quietly. 
“At the paper?” Benji was confused. 
“No, at my other job.” 
“Oh,” it clicked for him. “That makes sense. Man, I hope I get that jacked when I get my powers.” 
“Shhhh, be cool Benji,” you urged him. 
“Um, I’m not the one you have to worry about,” he harrumphed. “Oh shit, you like him.”
Though there was more than a decade between you and Benji, your little brother was still your little brother.  “No! He’s the head of the Spider-Society and he’s–you’ll see.” 
You took a step forward to greet Miguel before anyone else from your family could get to him. “Hey! What’re you doing here?” 
“I wanted to finish our work today, and since it’s your day off, I decided to come to you.” 
“Miguel O’Hara making a compromise? How not canon. Wonder how big of a hole that’s gonna tear in the multiverse.” 
“Shut up,” he ordered you playfully. 
“Miguel, good to see you!” Your dad strode over and pulled the younger spider-man into a handshake. 
“You too, Dr. Parker.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how oddly deferential Miguel was with your dad. He’d met Peter first, when he was establishing the Arachnohumanoid Polymultiverse. Miguel was stunned to discover that this Peter was not only retired, but had a full-grown daughter who’d taken up his crime-fighting mantle. Apparently your dad’s canon was particularly important and central to the greater Spiderverse, which meant Miguel would pester you with questions about him constantly. 
“Is everything okay?” Peter asked, “You don’t usually make house calls.” 
Before Miguel could explain, an elbow nearly sent you into careening into his broad chest. Mom. 
“Miguel, this is my mom, Mary Jane.” 
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Parker,” Miguel dutifully offered his hand to her. 
“The pleasure is mine,” your mom gushed, “I’ve heard so much about you.” 
Benji was right. He was not the person you had to be worried about. A rip in the multiverse to swallow you whole would be rather convenient right about now. 
Miguel’s brow creased. “You have?”
“She hasn’t,” you intervened. “Like two or three things in passing, max. Promise I haven’t broken my NDA or you know, the superhero code of secrecy or anything.” 
Mercifully, Miguel let it slide for the time being. He turned to your brother. “And you must be Benji.” 
“Yeah,” Benji confirmed, doing a terrible job of pitching his voice lower. “‘Sup, bro.” 
Jesus Christ. At this point, you were ready to rip the fabric of reality yourself to end this. 
“Congrats on the win. Hate to do this, but I need to steal your sister for a bit.” 
“No problem, I know she’s fine with it.” Perhaps Benji needed a reminder regarding which sibling had the super powers. “Also, what’s your workout–”
“Well, as fun as this all is, we should probably get back to work.”
Your family didn’t put up much of a fight – thank God – as pleasantries were exchanged and you and Miguel took off. You hoped Miguel didn’t catch when your mother mouthed “So handsome!!” to you as everyone said their goodbyes. Finally, it was just the two of you walking down East 36th Street. 
“Sorry about them,” you began. 
He looked at you, puzzled. “Why?” 
“My family. Embarrassing.” 
“They’re not embarrassing. They’re…they’re nice,” there was pain behind Miguel’s eyes. “It’s interesting. Your brother hasn’t experienced any spider-abilities, has he?” 
“No,” you confirmed. “Not yet.”
You two slowed to stop on the corner. Miguel looked at you expectantly. “So, where to?”
“What do you mean?” 
“You said you wanted to do this in an environment where you ‘had access to alcohol and carbs’.” 
“Oh! Right. Hmmm, where are we?” you looked up at the cross streets above you. “36th and 3rd? I know a place.” 
You took Miguel to a little hole-in-the-wall Italian spot nearby. Since it was so close to Benji’s school and your old middle and high school, you had spent many a week night at their tables, either working on homework or chowing down after basketball practice. 
Therefore, the staff knew you – it was a family owned spot, you’d basically grown up with the owner’s children, Maria and Chris. Though you graduated from Midtown Charter a looong time ago, they still took care of you. Maria had even let you use their first aid kit once, no questions asked, after a nasty Spider-Girl skirmish nearby. You didn’t suspect she knew anything, but even if she did, you could trust Maria to be discreet. 
At least, you thought you could trust Maria, but when she showed you and Miguel to your table, and Miguel made a pit stop at the restroom, she very indiscreetly asked, “Daaaamn, girl. He your boyfriend? Because you–”
“No!”
“You getting dicked down by him?” 
“No!” 
“Can I get dicked down by him? He single? Does he like the ladies?” 
“Maria, he’s a colleague. Actually, he’s my superior. So no…unfortunately, no.” 
Maria cackled with delight. “That’s a pen worth sticking in your company ink. I’ll bring you some garlic bread.”
“And a glass of red wine,” you added. “no, a bottle.”
“That’s my girl!” 
In theory, you had thought that reviewing sequencing outside of headquarters would’ve been less awkward, but in reality, it was more so. You couldn’t stop drinking in the sight of Miguel in normal clothes, the intimacy of having a meal together when usually your interactions were so sterile and professional, plus there was a little voice in your head screaming that THIS WAS BASICALLY A DATE on repeat.
“So should we pick up where we left off?” Miguel asked. The question brought you back down to Earth. Despite that little persistent voice in your head oohing and ahhing at him, it was clear that Miguel didn’t think this was a date. This dinner was a means to end, nothing more. 
“Let me get a little wine drunk first,” you bargained. 
“Yeah, but you have sped-up metabolism, so that’ll take at least–” 
“That was a joke. Miguel, when was the last time you went out to dinner?” 
He seemed to truly consider the question, then, “I don’t know.” 
You’d never heard Miguel say those three words in that order before. 
“I promise you I will go over my cringe teen years with you, but can we eat some garlic bread and not get drunk off this very nice bottle of wine first?” 
“You’re worse than Lyla,” his eyes narrowed. 
“I’m sorry, what?” 
“She’s always trying to get me to take breaks.”
“You should! There’s only so much self-flagellation a human can take, even if they’re a superhero.” 
Miguel’s response was a very inarticulate grumble. Maria dropped off the wine, bread, and took your order. You didn’t know what was more insane – the amount of food Miguel ordered or how unabashedly Maria was ogling him. 
“Let me guess, Lyla’s the one who suggested the field trip to my home dimension?”
Another grumble, this one in the affirmative. 
“Classic,” you remarked with a snort before taking a gulp from your glass. “I love that your AI is smarter than you.” 
“Of course she is, she can access all of the multiverse’s knowledge in a nano-second.’
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?” 
“Can we not talk about me for a second?” 
“Why?” 
“Because…because, I don't know, I was hoping doing this in a more casual environment would–it’d make it feel more like a conversation.” 
“We are having a conversation.” 
“Jeez, Miguel,” you took another sip of wine. “It’s not easy digging through my past like this. A lot of the time it feels more like an interrogation.” 
“Ah.” 
“Yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I want to help you, help the Spider-Society, but the one-sidedness of this is exhausting.”
“Exhausting.” He sounded dubious. 
“You know what? Forget it. I’ll take care of the bill and see you tomorrow, and we can go back to reviewing the sequencing like we normally do. I should know better than to complain to you.” 
Miguel looked at you if your words had stung him. “You can complain to me.” 
“No, I can’t,” you disputed. “You’re the most self-sacrificing Spider out of any of us–which is really saying something, by the way–and I feel lame talking about my feelings with you.”
“And that’s why our reviews feel like interrogations,” he was putting it together. 
“Yeah. Sorry to drag you out of HQ.”
Miguel scrutinized you with a long, unreadable look before announcing, “I’m not leaving before I have my bolognese.”
You didn’t know whether to smile or scream. Miguel may have lacked the traditional spidey precognitive sense, and the signature spider sense of humor, but he definitely had the stubbornness you all seemed to possess. 
You shot him a sidelong glare. “Why did you come here?” 
“I told you - I wanted to finish sequencing and Lyla suggested coming to you.” 
“But you didn’t have to take her suggestion.”
Miguel’s large frame shifted in the chair that suddenly appeared too small for him. “Like you said, she’s smarter than me, so I did. And yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve gone out to dinner.”
You didn’t know how to react to that. Right before the silence became intolerable, Miguel spoke again, “You still with that gu–’
“No.” The last thing you wanted to talk about with Miguel was your failed relationship with Gene, and you’d once discussed the correlation of getting your first period could’ve had with your powers emerging with him.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I mean, you get it.”
Miguel at last took a sip from his glass. “All too well.” 
“The price of being a hero, right?” you sent him a small, sympathetic smile across the table. “Or at least that’s what I tell myself.” 
“Your parents seemed to have figured it out,” he pointed out. 
“Well, that took like decades, and according to you, they’re canon, right? So it was meant to be. I guess that’s one of the comforts of having a canon-confirmed soulmate.” 
“Yeah, if you're Peter Parker.” 
Your heart sank at the implication. “So that means if a Spider isn’t Peter we’re meant to die alone?” 
“I don’t know,” Miguel’s eyes were averted. “Maybe only if you’re a Miguel O’Hara.” 
“Stop, you could get anyone in this restaurant to sleep with you,” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Our waitress has to resist climbing on top of you whenever she passes the table.”
He swatted away the implication as if it were a pest. “That’s different.”
“You know, it might help with the stress.”
“What?”
“Letting someone climb on top of you.”
Miguel glared at you, “Don’t.”
“See? It’s not fun being on the other side of the questions,” you smirked. Your conversation was briefly suspended when Maria returned with your entrees. After thanking her, you refocused back on Miguel, “Can I ask you something else?”
“No.”
“DADA!” A child, who couldn’t have been more than three, screeched happily from a neighboring table. 
Miguel froze. For the first time in the several months that you’d known him, you saw his face soften. The warmth that filled his eyes at the sight of the toddler was undeniable. The fond expression hardened back into his stoic facade within an instant, yet Miguel couldn’t fully conceal the anguish that clearly still haunted him. He never could. 
“Sorry,” you said softly. 
He shook off your condolences. “What’d you want to ask me?” 
“Have you tried seeing anyone after…” it felt forbidden to say Gabriella’s name out loud. 
“What’s the point?” Miguel shrugged. “I don’t have the time, even if I wanted to.” 
“Right,” you hedged. 
Eventually, you and Miguel were able to find things to talk about outside of work and your respective traumas. You compared notes on the lamest villain you’d each encountered rounding up anomalies, discussed the idea of a nursery for spider-babies, or as Miguel insisted on calling them, “second-generation Spiders” – Peter couldn’t keep taking his kid on missions, plus Jessica Drew had just learned she was expecting – you even got Miguel to open up about his teenage days some. 
“Makes sense you were a rebel,” you chuckled, taking one last bite of the tiramisu Maria insisted was on the house.  
“Yeah? Why?” Miguel prodded.
“Because you-re so uptigh–upstanding now.” 
You were treated to another rare grin from Miguel, this time a half smile rather than a quarter. “Nice save.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you contended with put-on innocence. 
“Yeah, yeah, I don’t always like what I have to do, you know.” 
Your gaze locked directly with his for a breath-taking second, his eyes garnets in the low light of the dining room. “We should get going, I've taken you away from headquarters for long enough.” 
“You act like I’ve never left HQ before, and if anything, I took you away from your family,” Miguel parried, yet stood up nonetheless. You followed suit, only mildly disappointed he didn’t argue with you about leaving. As awkward as this dinner initially was, you’d actually ended up enjoying it. “I’ll take you home.”
Miguel’s words stopped you in your tracks, “You know I’m the protector of this city, right?” 
“Obviously, I—” he huffed as you waved goodbye to Maria and exited back onto the street. “Mierda May, I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”
Oh. Oh. Did Miguel think this was a date too? Date was too strong of a word – did Miguel think this was a not-entirely-work-related-hang too? 
You struggled to keep your face blasé. “Ah, okay. We taking the subway or are we swinging?” 
Miguel shot you a look as if the choice was obvious, which is how you found yourself traipsing across the city with Spider-Man 2099. You’d traveled by web plenty of times with Miguel before on missions, but there was something about it being the two of you, in your city, that made it feel just a little bit special. 
And to be honest, you’d never get enough of watching Miguel’s body hurtle through the air – despite his bulk and brawn, he was agile and lithe as he swung from building to building with you. You nearly plunged into traffic on Sixth Avenue after your thoughts had wandered to what those bulging muscles looked like unencumbered by that skin-tight suit of his. 
When you arrived at your apartment in Morningside Heights, you were suddenly self-conscious. You’d never brought a Spider to your residence, and Miguel was likely the hardest to impress of them all. 
He studied your modest one-bedroom with the same intensity as he did his screens at the Spider-Society. 
“It’s not much, I know,” you began, “and with Spider-Girl stuff, I don’t have the time to keep it as tidy as I'd like to.”
“It’s perfect,” he mumbled before catching himself. “I mean, it’s perfect for you.” 
“Yeah, I don’t need much, but it gets good light during the day and was the highest floor I could afford at my price point,” you removed your mask as you babbled on. 
“Makes sense,” Miguel nodded. 
You had no idea where to go from there – what on Earth was the man playing at? Should you offer him water, another drink, the best spot to portal back to HQ? He was lingering in your space, seemingly fascinated by the framed prints on your walls, the photos on the coffee table and credenza. 
“Um, do you need to use the restroom or something? Because it’s right through there,” you motioned to the appropriate door. 
“I’m good for now.”
THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? You hollered in your head. Externally, you kept playing hostess, “Let me get you a glass of water then–”
Yet Miguel caught your wrist before you could retreat into your tiny, galley kitchen. You weren’t proud of how your heart leapt and your breath hitched at the contact. 
“Shouldn’t you be getting back?” 
He shrugged, “I should, but–”
“But what?” 
“I’ve been thinking about what you said…about letting someone climb on top of me.” 
You gulped, “Sorry, that was so inappropriate of me–”
“It was. Inappropriate, that is, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea,” he tugged you closer to him. You could barely stand to meet his eyes, alight with desire, while your heart was pounding embarrassingly fast. 
“Um, judging by the–uh, do you want me to climb on top of you, Miguel?” you were always so much smoother in your daydreams about him. 
His lips hovered dangerously near yours. “Do you want to climb on top of me?” 
The closer you got to Miguel, the faster your brain turned to scrambled eggs. His large, sure hands had settled on your hips. 
“Uh huh,” was the best you could muster before he crashed your lips together. 
Miguel’s kiss was searing and all-consuming – it felt as if the longer your mouths moved against each other, the more your body melted into his. He was tall, so tall, and even for a superhero like yourself, it was difficult to keep yourself perched on the balls of your feet to reach his skilled, hungry mouth. 
He seemed to sense your struggle, and without breaking your liplock, he scooped you up into his arms. It was foreign but not unwelcome – you were so used to being the strongest, the person who held others, the hero. Therefore, being held so effortlessly in Miguel’s arms was nothing short of exhilarating. You weren’t the strongest person in the room anymore, you could surrender. You loved it.
Miguel pressed your back into the nearest wall, causing an emphatic moan to leave you when your hips became flush with his. You could already feel him – hot, hard, and big – between the flimsy fabric of your spider-suits. Instinctually, you canted your heat against his, delighting in the way he seemed to grow hotter, harder, not to mention unbelievably bigger, when you did. 
“Bedroom?” he gasped between harsh, ardent kisses. 
You managed to fling a hand in the correct direction, and next thing you knew, Miguel was depositing you onto your bed. You propped yourself up, leaning back on your palms to take in the man towering over you at the edge of your bed. In a flash of color and light, his suit disappeared from his strapping physique, and the sight of Miguel naked intoxicated you more than alcohol ever could. 
His shoulders seemed even broader without the unstable particles of his suit covering them. His pecs were massive, which made a delectable ratio when his chest tapered down to a chiseled abdomen and slim hips. Slim hips that framed the biggest cock you’d seen outside of porn – hell, maybe even including porn. He was long and thick – it made a dark thrill race down your spine when you contemplated how the hell that was going to fit inside of you. 
Miguel noticed you marveling at his package, misinterpreting the rapacious glint in your eye as unease, “I’ll prep you, I won’t hurt you.” 
“Oh, I’m not worried” you glanced back up at his face coquettishly. 
“No?” Miguel cocked an eyebrow and advanced toward you on the bed, a jaguar stalking its prey. He nudged you onto your back and pinned your wrists to your comforter, “maybe you should be.” 
You muscled out of Miguel’s grip and switched positions so you were straddling him. Only then did you lean closer and whisper into his ear, “I can take it.” 
Miguel growled, and within an instant, you were on your back once again as he pawed at your suit. Unlike his costume, your spider-suit was made of plain old fabric, so there was a bit of fumbling, cursing in Spanish, nervous giggling, and a mumbled comment about ‘making you a suit like mine’ from Miguel before you were nude as well. 
He splayed you out against your mattress as if you were a feast before him. Your first instinct was to try and cover yourself but Miguel’s dark gaze froze you. A pleased groan rumbled from his chest and then his large hands flew to your breasts. “Such full, perky tits.”
You moaned in response to his ministrations. How was this real? You and Miguel were touching each other – naked – and you hadn’t woken up yet. 
“It’s all for you,” you mewled, relishing his hot palms on your sensitive buds. 
Another growl ripped from his chest before he swooped down and sucked one of your nipples into his warm, wanting mouth. You keened, a pathetic, high-pitched sound, and you wove your fingers into his dark locks as he gorged himself on your tits. 
The pull of Miguel’s mouth on your peaks was made only better when he snaked a hand between your legs and ran a finger along the seam of your sex. You bucked at the touch, your reaction causing Miguel to lift his head from your bosom. 
“Mmmm, you like it when I play with your pussy, cariño?”
At this point words had all but left you so you nodded and whined in the affirmative. Miguel’s digit parted your folds, tracing up and down, then found your clit and rubbed slow, tortuous circles into the nub. 
“So wet for me, bebita,” he observed, maddeningly casually, while he played you like an instrument. “This is all for me, huh?”
Your head thrashed back and forth on your comforter with a sob, both from pleasure and bashfulness. Now there was no downplaying how horny Miguel made you. 
“Shhh,” he cooed at you, taking one of your hands and bringing it to his groin, “feel what you do to me.”
This time your moan was unabashed as your hand circled around his girth. “Fuck, you’re so big.” 
“I know,” he grunted. Normally, such braggadocio from a man would be an immediate turn off to you. But Miguel wasn’t being arrogant, not when he was referring to the thick, pulsing hardness you were currently caressing. “Gotta get you ready for me.”  
He guided your hand away from his member, even despite your protests, to wrench your thighs wider and bury his head between them. The realization alone that Miguel O’Hara was about to eat you out almost made you come, yet actually feeling his tongue on your needy cunt was infinitely better. He licked a stripe from your perineum to your clit, tearing another ragged moan from you when his tongue focused in on the bundle of nerves. 
Miguel chuckled against your folds at your enthusiastic praise and redoubled his efforts. Your fingers reflexively tangled in his inky locks once again as he continued his delectable assault on your pussy. The way Miguel tasted you matched with how he seemed to approach everything – he was vehement and determined to bring you pleasure like how he was when he worked. He managed to just stay on the right side of rough as he slurped at you..though perhaps that was a bit different than how he fought.
He speared his tongue into your hole, affording you the opportunity to grind your clit against his prominent nose. In your pleasure-filled haze, you briefly fretted that you were suffocating Miguel, but when you tried to scooch away and give him some air, the man grunted and pulled your hips closer to him.
You keened again when one of his thick fingers joined the fray as he prepped you. After all the sexual tension, all the self-denial, and all the excitement the night had held, it felt so good to clench around something. He was again methodical with his preparation, allowing you to adjust to one digit before adding another, and another. It couldn’t have made a starker contrast with how he was devouring your sex. Even in the bedroom, Miguel O’Hara was full of contradictions. It didn’t take long for your breaths to become more shallow, for your cries to reach a higher pitch as you climaxed around his hefty fingers. The combination of the penetration and the stimulation of your clit with his mouth was too good to resist. 
You were slightly relieved that Miguel remained nestled between your legs while you rode out your peak. The orgasm he’d given you was much too good to be able to control your facial expressions. 
He at last came up for air once you’d begun floating down from your peak. A primal pride surged through you at the sight of your juices smeared all over his lips and chin. You couldn’t help but smash your mouths together, eager to sample the combination you two made. It was all too easy to get lost in a kiss with Miguel, yet as you plundered his mouth with your tongue, your hand crept back down his groin. 
This time it was Miguel who moaned into your mouth as you returned him to full mast with feather-light, teasing touches. 
“I need to fuck you,” he gasped between kisses. 
“Finally,” you bantered back. 
A growl from Miguel and then he tackled you back flat on the bed. You couldn’t help the giggle – partly from nerves, partly from anticipation – that escaped you at his actions, despite the visage of a hulking, intimidating man hovering over you could be frightening in another context. 
“Do you have protection?” 
You hesitated. You kept a box of condoms in your bedside drawer, but given Miguel’s size, they’d be inadequate. 
“None that would fit you,” you confessed, stealing another glance at his large erection. It was truly a sight to behold. Miguel deflated slightly, fearing penetration was off the table, and usually it would be. You were firmly a two methods of contraception girl, but there was no way you were going to pass up this chance to have sex with Miguel. “Don’t worry Spidey, I’m on the pill.” 
“Gracias a Dios,” he muttered, then wasted no time situating himself between your hips. He drew yet another mewl from you when he slapped the tip of his cock a few times on your clit before lining himself up with your entrance. 
He found you looking at him expectantly. And though Miguel mostly saw desire in your eyes, he could see the glimpse of unease too. He assured you, “I’ll go slow.” 
You nodded, you trusted him after all, but nothing could prepare you for the stretch of when Miguel finally pushed into you. Just the tip was already splitting you apart more than Gene, or any former lover for that matter, ever had. 
“Breathe,” Miguel rasped. You couldn’t tell if he was advising you or himself though. It struck you then that you’d perhaps achieved the damn-near impossible – disarming the notoriously closed-off Miguel O’Hara. He looked beautiful, biting his plush lower lip as he slowly rocked more and more of his huge cock inside of you. 
Your back arched off the mattress of the sensation of being progressively speared on the monster that Miguel called a dick. It was too much and not enough all at once, and your fingers dug into your comforter below you. He tried to distract you from any potential pain, Miguel’s index finger returning to your barely-recovered clit. 
“That’s it, open up for me,” he husked. Your head swam at the mix of his enormous manhood stretching you to your limit and his tender, in-control tone. The realization hit you harder than a punch from an anomaly. In that moment, fear skittered down your throat and pooled into your stomach, resting right above where you two were joined. He’s going to ruin me for other men, isn’t he? 
You couldn’t think any further since not only was Miguel fully seated within you, he had asked you a question. Your eyes glassy and pupils blown, found his, and he repeated himself. “You okay? Can-can I move?”
“Yes,” you gasped. In case your breath affirmation left any room for doubt, you added, “please.”
Another grunt from your lover and Miguel at last began to thrust into you. Your arms flew from the bed to his impossibly wide shoulders, your nails digging into the caramel, taut skin there. You couldn’t tell exactly when it’d happened, lost in the deliciously lewd sounds you were making between the slap of your bodies, your labored breaths, and his determined staccato grunts while Miguel railed you, but your hips had begun to meet his. 
“M-more Miguel,” you urged him as you dragged your fingertips down the expanse of his back. Each of your hands grabbed a fistful of that glorious ass and squeezed to drive home your point. 
“You sure?” 
You moaned. It was as if he couldn’t give it to you hard or faster enough. You used your grip on the globes of his perfect rear to try and force him to increase to the pace and force you needed him to fuck you at. 
Miguel laughed. A dark and stirring sound that made you involuntarily tighten around his girthy length. “Alright bebita, but remember…you asked for this.” 
His words ignited something defiant within you. You pulled Miguel’s head from where it had fallen into the crook of your neck so you could look him in the eyes when you said, “I’m not some pillow princess from Nueva. I’m just as strong as you are, I can go just as hard you can, and I want you to fuck me.” 
Your lover’s eyes darkened at your demand. The growl that ripped from his throat was your only warning before Miguel unleashed the full force of his strength on you. You keened in pleasure as he all but drove you through your bedframe and the wall behind it. Miguel captured your wrists once more and restrained you against the mattress as he absolutely pounded into your pussy. 
His drilling drew another ecstatic cry from your mouth. Miguel glared down at you, his eyes nearly crazed, his face barely lit in the ambient light from the street. It truly was infuriating to you how beautiful this man was. You watched his brow furrowed in concentration – not on his stupid screens for once – and his dark hair shift in time with his thrusts.  Your features contorted in pleasure when Miguel switched from drilling into you to swiveling his hips to stuff you with his cock. His movements were deliberate and slow, he was trying to get as deep inside of you as he could. You almost went cross-eyed at the feel of his bulbous cockhead punching against your cervix. 
The criminal undulations of his hips extracted a little yip from you each time he pistoned into you. He grinned down at you wolfishly. Equal parts indignation and arousal bloomed within you. Also, was the first time you'd ever seen Miguel smile? Not a little half-smirk or a humorless quirk of his lips, but an unabashed smile?
“Want me to back off?” 
Oh, there was no way you were going to take that lying down. Even if Miguel’s pubic bone was perfectly grinding into your clit. 
You let out a growl of your own and summoned all the power in your core muscles to wrestle Miguel back and claim the high ground. Out of breath when you found yourself seated on Miguel’s dick, his large, muscled body prone beneath you, you braced yourself on his rippled abdomen.
“Is the itsy-bitsy Spider-Girl gonna ride my cock?” he taunted you. If Miguel didn’t wear that arrogant, playful smirk so well, you would’ve wiped it from his lips. 
You slid your hands up the length of his chest and leaned over, your face hovering over his. “That depends. Can 2099 handle it?” 
Miguel answered you with an impatient buck of his hips up into your sex. You giggled as you straightened up again, tweaking one of Miguel's nipples as you went. You relished the little shudder it sent through him. “Alright, but remember baby, you asked for this.”
He snorted out a laugh, which you quickly silenced once you began riding Miguel like the stud he was. “Hnnn–shock, bebita.”
“Ah,” you sighed as you bounced on his prick. Before sleeping with Miguel, you had assumed the term “feeling him in your guts” was hyperbole. Not with him. “Fuck, you’re even bigger like this.” 
A large hand traced its way up one of your thighs, now lightly covered with a sheen of sweat, past your sex, split apart by his shaft, to where Miguel’s manhood made the slightest bulge in your lower belly. His smile became wider and even cockier. “It’s good, no?”
You gave him a nonverbal, but enthusiastic, reply. He smacked your ass in satisfaction, “Yeah c’mon, cariño, ride me. Wanna watch your tits bounce.” 
You officially hated Miguel and his big, thick, perfectly sized cock. Where as with other partners you’d smack them right back with a zinger, all you could do was moan again. His naughty, domineering words did nothing but excite you. There was something about him and the way he fucked that made you incapable of doing little else than enthusiastically submitting to him. You leaned back, your fingers clutching onto Miguel’s thick thighs to stability as you changed angles and gave him a better view of your breasts jiggling in time with your motions. 
“Ay, sí bebita,” Miguel’s hands flew to your hips to intensify the frantic mashing of your bodies together, “Ven aquí.”
He gathered your torso in his hulking arms and pulled you closer so that he could coax a breast into his mouth again as you rode him. 
“You gonna come for me Miguel?” you panted.  
“No,” he sounded as winded as you were. “Not yet.”
You clenched around him and snickered. “Are you sure?” 
“¡Coño!” Miguel snarled at the feel of your already blistering, tight pussy suffocating his dick further. “¡No más – basta de esto!”
The vision of your bedroom swam when Miguel lifted you off his pulsing member and dropped you back on your stomach onto the mattress facing the foot of the bed.. You could hear him shifting behind you, and you blindly groped for the lower metal railing of your bedframe’s footboard, only vaguely aware what was to come. 
A grunt from Miguel, and the next thing you knew one of your pillows was stuffed under your lower belly and his massive hands were back on either side of your hips. Your lover didn’t give you any notice before shoving his fat erection back inside of your already tender pussy. 
You shouted at the feeling of his cock stuffing you to the brim once again. Miguel’s hands appeared above your head where you held on for dear life as he impaled you on his prick.
“Ahhh!” you clamored, desperately trying to pull enough air in your lungs to function as Miguel squatted behind you. “I’ve never been so full! Oh God, Miguel, it’s so much…so much…”
Miguel responded with a pleased growl, and merely rammed into you harder. You were peripherally aware of the clanging of the pieces of your metal bed frame clanging together in protest at the vigor of your and Miguel’s coupling, but there were too many sensations overwhelming you at once to focus on one in particular. Not even when the metal groaned and the angle Miguel fucked you at changed did you pay attention to what was actually happening. You merely pushed back onto his cock as much as you could, your fingertips scrabbling into the folds of your comforter. 
Your eyes screwed shut at the barrage of stimuli - the unrelenting stretch of Miguel’s hardness,  his harsh but steadying grip on your hips, the light scratch of fabric beneath you on your skin, the little puff of warmth on the back of your neck from Miguel’s labored exhalations. You were sure this was better than any high any drug could provide. You hadn’t tried many, not even Rapture, and but nothing could top being thoroughly fucked into your mattress by Miguel O’Hara.
Miguel’s dogged grunts morphed into shouts when he at last found his release, spurting rope after rope of hot, creamy cum into your welcoming cunt. You found yourself crying out along with him as he emptied his load, your walls bearing down around his length as you both rode out his high. Miguel flooded your pussy with his seed and before you could even try to adjust to the feeling, he withdrew his cock from you, tearing a quite pathetic-sounding whimper from your mouth. 
Miguel pulled your ass cheeks apart to examine your stretched, puffy pussy leaking his cum. His chest rumbled with primal delight. “Hermosa.”
You’d barely had a chance to catch your breath when Miguel dove back in for more, this time his eager, demanding tongue again invading your channel. You whimpered again, your pitch jumping an octave at Miguel’s needy tongue not only collecting his spunk from your pussy, but flicking the muscle against your clit. He was a man possessed, he ate you out as if he needed you to orgasm one more time for his survival. 
You gave him what he wanted (how could you not?), and once the crest of your pleasure had subsided, you lightly pushed him away from your gaping, abused cunt. 
The first thing you noticed when your wits returned to you was how much closer the ground had become. 
“Oh my God,” you put it together and turned to face your partner, "we broke the bed.”
Miguel arched a brow from where he leant back into the pillows. “Are you surprised?”
You frowned at him.  
“I’ll fix it,” he promised. 
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m going to…” you trailed off your gaze floating to the bathroom.
“Do your thing.”
“Can…can I get you anything?” 
Miguel glanced down at his crotch. “A towel?” 
You nodded. “Say no more.” 
You ducked into your en-suite, and once you were sure the door was firmly closed behind you, you proceeded to have a freak out to yourself in the mirror. You scarcely believe your own appearance – lips kiss swollen, hair a veritable bird's nest, your mascara smudged into rings around your eyes. Miguel had destroyed you in the best of ways. 
The thought sent a little aftershock of pleasure through you. You didn’t dally any longer — you relieved yourself, washed your hands, ran a brush through your hair and splashed water on your face. After dampening a washcloth for Miguel, you returned to the bedroom, where your bed frame was properly vertical again. 
You glimpsed the glow of Miguel’s distinctive red webs holding the broken metal rods together. The other Spider was reclining on your mattress, a sheet haphazardly tossed over his groin to preserve his modesty. Even so, the sight of him made you go weak in the knees. He really did remind you of some sort of a large cat given the odd grace in which he lounged with, the evidence of his power and strength so poorly hidden under the surface of his skin. 
“Get a new frame and expense it to Spider-HQ,” Miguel's baritone snapped you out of your reverie. 
“Oh, okay. Thanks,” You tossed him the towel. 
His eyes raked over your naked form. But instead of the desire you’d found there earlier, his gaze was full of concern. “You okay?”
“Yes. Very okay. A little sore but good sore, ya know?” 
“Good,” Miguel busied himself with cleaning up. 
“I mean, what’s the point of having superpowers if you can’t enjoy extra rough sex?” you joked. 
“Yeah, about that,” Miguel refused to meet your eyes. “As um…great as all this was…I think we–it should be a one-time thing.” 
“Um, duh.” He looked up at you hastily and you continued, “Miguel, neither of us are anywhere close to ready or in the right place for a relationship.” 
Your heart disagreed with your words, but you uttered them anyway. Not because it was how you truly felt, but you knew it was what he wanted to hear. Miguel associated any sense of closeness or vulnerability with weakness and danger. Trying to get him to see otherwise was a fool's errand, and it was easier on your heart to convince yourself into concurring with him. 
Oddly, Miguel didn’t seem to relax at your assurances. He looked dubious. “Are you sure?” 
“Oh my God, you are so cocky!” you accused him with a playful slap to the broad, tan chest. “Spare me the fake worry 2099, you may be amazing at sex, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to be professional with you at HQ.” 
“Amazing at sex?” Mirguel parroted you with a smirk. 
You slapped him again. “Of course that’s the only part you heard.”
“Sorry but those are very distracting,” he claimed, his gaze focused on your exposed breasts. 
You scoffed and grabbed a pillow to temporarily cover yourself. “Hang on there, Spider-Man. Yes, you are…not terrible at showing a lady a good time, no, you don’t have to worry about me being clingy at work, and yes, I’m sure so stop looking at me like that!” 
You tossed the pillow away and straddled him. “Now I don’t know about you, but it’s only midnight. If this is indeed a one-time thing, I say we make the most of the night and the fact that no one has bothered us with some multiversal emergency yet.” 
Miguel finally let it go, choosing to focus on your very nude body on top of his. His hips moved on their own accord, grinding his cock, already stiffening back up to full mast, against where you were still so nice and stretched for him. 
“Vamos, bebita,” he whispered into your ear. His fingers dug into your sides possessively in a way that almost let you believe he was doing it because you were his. “Wanna fuck you on the ceiling.” 
***
You shouldn't have been surprised that Miguel didn’t stay the night. You were honestly shocked when he collapsed beside you after the hours you’d spent vehemently fucking. Your bed was now held together by a mix of both his and your webs, one of your framed photos on the wall lay shattered on the floor to be dealt with later, and the ceiling now sported a dent that was going to be very difficult to explain to your landlord. 
The memory of Miguel leaving was hazy at best. After so many rounds of deeply satisfying, intensely athletic sex, you felt like you could sleep for a week. Yet the shift and dip of Miguel’s large frame exiting the bed was enough to wake you. You could sort of recall a small flash of light and chirpy voice which must have been Lyla…and you also had a vague memory of him replying in a hushed rumble as if not to wake you up. Or was he telling you he was heading out? Everything jumbled together under the fog of sleep. 
Either way, you had to tell yourself that the sensation of a large hand caressing your face and then tenderly stroking down the sleep-warm skin of your back was a dream. Not for Miguel’s sake, but yours. 
Thanks to super-spider stamina, you only really needed a couple extra shots of espresso to function somewhat normally the following day at headquarters. You were angry at your instinct to avoid Miguel. You both were adults that had an adult, mature conversation that last night’s activities were merely a form of stress release that didn’t mean anything. It was hard to believe however, when you could still feel the phantom shape of him inside of you. 
Besides, it’s not even like you could avoid him if you wanted to. You were scheduled to go over more sequencing today with Miguel, and you were dead set on not blinking first in the post-sex-awkwardness stand-off. 
“Hey, Miguel!” your voice reverberated in the vast space. 
Several agonizing moments later, his platform lowered enough for you two to start conversing. If he was at all bashful about seeing you, the man didn’t show it. 
“Good. You’re here.”
“Yep.” 
Miguel was all business. “I want to go back to the fight you had with your father. Lyla, take us to timestamp 46:90:45.”
Damn, and here you thought you were good at compartmentalizing. You did your best to hide any disappointment from reaching your face, playing along as if he hadn’t seen every crevice of your body the night before. 
***
Days turned into weeks, and you eventually, reluctantly accepted that Miguel had told you the truth that night. What you two had shared was really just a one-time lapse of his frighteningly strong self-restraint. 
You were enjoying a rare night in, parked on the couch, takeout boxes strewn about the coffee table, your favorite trashy reality show playing on your TV. You’d gotten injured taking down a Doc Ock variant a few days ago, and Miguel benched you to recuperate. You were all too happy to take a break, from him and Spider-Girling. Despite your complicated feelings for the man, he assigned a recently displaced Spider, Spider-Woman 1357, to pinch hit for you in your dimension while you healed up. It was the first time since you became a hero you had a day off with peace of mind. 
Just as you started another episode, a tingle raced down your spine. Your spider-sense. Something was about to happen. Out of all the possibilities of what could have followed, a portal opening in your living room and Miguel walking through was the last thing you would’ve guessed. You leapt up from the sofa. 
You instantly regretted your appearance - messy bun, no makeup, and ratty sweatpants. Miguel, as usual, looked immaculate in his skintight spider-suit. 
“Hey.” 
“Is this a booty call?”
“No.” 
“Don’t bullshit me–”
“It’s not, I swear! Coño, I came to check on you.” 
“I don’t believe you.” 
“Why not?”
“Because you could have messaged me on my gizmo. It’s your preferred method of communication after all, ever since the last time you were in my apartment.” 
“May–”
Lyla appeared over his shoulder. “He missed you, that’s all.”
Miguel growled at his AI. “I’m going to sentence you to robot death via spreadsheets.” 
Lyla wasn’t threatened in the slightest. “Thank me later.” She disappeared before Miguel could try and make another retort. 
“You missed me?”
“No,” his denial was instant. “I just…I–”
“This is a booty call!” you crumpled up a napkin and chucked it at his large form. “Go home, Miguel!” 
He didn’t budge. “It’s not a booty call. I…what are you watching?”
“The Realest Housewives of Manhattan. What, don’t judge me!”
Miguel couldn't keep his face straight. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” 
Seeing his eyes crinkle with amusement was infectious. You threw another napkin ball at him and then composed yourself. He wasn’t getting off the hook this easily. “Why are you here? Be honest with me. It’s the very least I deserve.”
“I wanted to see the shocking expensive bed frame you expensed to HQ for myself.” 
“You said I could and you didn't set a spending limit.” A wicked little grin pulled at the corners of your mouth. The bed frame from Restoration Hardware had been your own private form of revenge. “And I’m supposed to believe you wanting to see my bed – my bed that you broke–”
“Hey! We broke the bed–”
“--is not your thinly veiled excuse for seeking another roll in the hay? Enough with goddamn mind games Miguel.” He tried to speak but you pushed on, “I’m tired and this is the last thing I need.”
Miguel sobered. He hung his head. His mouth seemed to fight the words as they left his lips.  “Alright, fine. I missed you.” 
You ignored your heartbeat’s sharp increase and schooled your features to maintain a neutral appearance. “I have some extra Pad Thai if you want.” 
“Sounds good.” 
“So this may not be a booty call, but does anyone other than Lyla know you’re here?”
“No.” 
You nodded. “Come. Sit. I just started the episode where Beverly throws her poodle a forty thousand dollar birthday party.” 
“Nothing you said just now made sense,” Miguel protested, but took a seat on your couch anyway. 
A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed!! Miguel has fully rotted my brain so I thought it only fair to share the horniness. Of course I have more imagined in this AU, fingers crossed I can find more time to write (comments and reblogs and likes help!)
Translations:
Mierda - Shit 
cariño - dear
bebita - baby
Gracias a Dios - Thank God
Ven aquí - Come here
¡Coño! - Damnit!
¡No más – basta de esto! -No more, enough of this!
Hermosa - beautiful
Vamos, bebita - Come on, baby
Taglist: @plethora-of-imagines, @itdobe-liza @absolutelybloodyhopeless @ninebluehearts, @oscarissac2099
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ddoxhan · 2 days
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stay by my side
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if there is no one next to you I’ll just be behind you, just stay by my side
word count : 0.9k words
genre : classic angst; giselle x gn! reader; days were never the same anymore but your feelings for aeri will always be unchanging for as long time exists
t/w : nothing :) this is just some good ol' angst
a/n : not much plot to it but ! it's the feels of not being able to forget someone and maybe, you're better off longing for them than try pressing down your feelings. anyone out there longing for their special someone, I just wanna say it's okay to feel that way :3 it may not be the healthiest choice, but allow yourself to long for that person until you feel it's time to actually let them go <3 enjoy !
things were just never the same anymore, it couldn't. I'd keep having dreams about you, about us. those sweet, spring memories we shared now embedded in my head like a broken record. those days when we spent our mornings showering each other with kisses, when we would take night walks in the park, when we talked about spending the rest of our lives together. those days, when we loved each other like there was no tomorrow. we did, but it just didn't last forever just like what we had wished under that shooting star.
I admit, that I still love you, the same or maybe even more than I did back then. I truly believed that we were meant to be, and no one can tell me otherwise as I've seen those eyes of yours bear the same endearment for me as I do for you. it sounds cheesy, but I am willing to be if it's you. however, as much as I want to let go of you, I don't think I'd ever come to terms with the fact that you did. we were so beautiful, don't you think so? it was as if the world revolved around us. I know we will never be able to go back to those days, to love each other again.
every night that came and went in the same repertoire. staring straight at the ceiling, reminiscing the times I still had you in my arms, crying myself to sleep, jolting awake from the same nightmare, hugging myself back to sleep. the pain was almost unbearable when it gets to the nightmare. it was my regrets for not doing my best for you, and the mistakes that I wished I hadn't made. I could never stand to see tears in your eyes, especially if it was because of me. on the day you left, you looked me in the eye, with tears threatening to roll down your crimson cheeks. that moment broke my heart to pieces, noticing the burning sensation of the wind against my skin.
it seems I have already lost you, with no chance to turn back time.
when I'm sober, everything I did numbed me to the core. when I wake up to your side of the bed empty, seeing that the once lively space all dull with silence, the fridge slowly emptying, leaving nothing but water and some alcohol. it's like I stopped functioning properly when you're not with me. the flowers that you loved so much don't look as lively, the warm breeze that greeted us daily slowly getting chilly, the stars that we spent hours looking at don't sparkle as much. you brought so much color to my world, and it returned back to being monochromatic, like those times before I met you.
you brought so much joy to my life, and I have never felt so grateful for being alive. it was the first time I felt so euphoric, fortunate to see that very smile of yours when you look at me with such affection. that smile was for me, because of me, only me. you made me feel like the luckiest person on earth to love someone as wonderful as you are. I can only hope you felt the same way as I did.
all the things in my life took a turn, not a good one at that, after you left. you took a part of me with you when you told me that things weren't working out. what did that mean? was I not doing good enough? did your feelings for me change? there were so many questions I want to ask, but sometimes, they were better left unanswered. these daggers piercing through my heart are more than enough to leave me bleeding profusely till I can't feel love anymore.
as I spent each day, yearning for your warmth and affection, there's something that I've come to realize as I take a step back to look at things. there will be no one else who would be able to fill your spot, not even with time. it's been months, almost a year that I've been standing here, not knowing what is wrong with me. that's because, nothing is wrong. everything made so much sense.
I love you and nothing can ever change that fact. even if you don't love me anymore, that's okay. all I will do is just stand here right behind you, protecting you from the shadows. although there might not be someone who would be by your side all the time, I will be right here behind you. until the day I get the chance to stand next to you, be the one you can rely on, I will be here for you.
there will be a day where we meet again, whether it be by chance or fate. and when that day comes, I want to be stronger than I am now, to give you that smile you loved so much when we were us. until then, I will take this role as your dark knight. looking over you from somewhere you wouldn't notice, offering you a hand when you struggle, finding solace right here. I know you would be able to tell that I am here, but please, leave me be. for the day I am able to let you go, will hopefully come.
so let me stay by your side for now, aeri.
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angelsanarchy · 2 days
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Fever Dreams: Mike x Y/N One Shot Series PRT 10
Tagging: @icarus-star @chainsawgvtsfvck @romanroyapoligist @liquidsmoothdomme @madamemaximoff06 @drazenka @blacksoul-27 @444rockstargf @kappasbbgirl @luzclarita57 @tempt-ress
Mike was enjoying laying back on his brand new couch watching TV when he heard the phone upstairs ringing again. Leff had a girl upstairs so he wasn't about to go up and answer it but whoever was trying to reach him, kept calling until he finally stormed out of his room and yelled, taking it off the hook.
About 10 minutes later, Mike's cellphone rang. It was Y/n.
"Oh please tell me this is a booty call." Mike teased hearing her huff.
"Where is your stupid ass uncle at and why isn't he answering the fucking phone?" Y/n asked sounding annoyed.
"He has company tonight so he doesn't want to be interrupted." Mike explained putting the phone up in the air so she could hear the thumping of the headboard and a woman moaning.
"And you're what? Sitting there jerking it while he's getting laid?" Y/n laughed.
"No I'm laying on my new couch and watching TV." Mike felt a sense of pride letting her know he had gotten the couch. Before he could say anything else, he was getting a Facetime request from her. He tried to sit up and not look so haggard before he accepted the call. Her face popped up and she smiled.
"I wanna see the couch!" Mike panned the phone down showing her the couch as he was lying on it.
"I'm saving a spot on it for you whenever you're done playing hard to get." Mike teased.
"Baby I am hard to get but the couch is nice. You picked a good one." She smiled as Mike laid back.
"You're totally listening to them fuck, you perv." She stares at Mike who turns the phone towards the TV.
"I'm watching the TV!" He defends.
"Mmhmm I see that hand placement." Mike hadn't realized his hand was resting on his dick atop his sweatpants.
"I'm comfortable like this. You could be too but-"
"Why would I want to hang out on your new couch and listen to Leff fuck some poor woman's brains out?" Y/n asked playfully.
"You wouldn't be. You'd be getting your own brains fucked out." Mike corrected seeing her lay back on her own couch.
"Is that so? You would just have me sitting on your lap, riding you on your brand new couch to break it in?" Y/n teased, Mike felt himself growing hard just listening to her talk.
"I like the sound of that. You could ride whatever you wanted but i absolutely want you to sit on my face." Mike rubbed his hand on the outside of his pants, bringing his cock to life fully.
"You want me to tell you what we would do?" Y/n asked catching Mike's attention. He looked at her and licked his lips.
"I'd prefer you just show me but-"
"I wouldn't let you touch, I'd only let you watch. I'd let you sit right where you are, cock in hand and watch me get myself off a foot away from you at the other end of that couch." Y/n's tone changed and Mike pulled his cock out, listening to her talk.
"If you're a good boy, I might even give you the smallest taste of my pussy but only after I've made myself cum." Mike swallowed the lump in his throat wishing it was her hand on his cock.
"Where's the fun in that? I could make you cum." Mike breathed and Y/n rested her chin on her hands.
"Yeah? How would you make me cum? Riding that pretty cock? Sitting on that cute face until you can't breathe." Y/n moaned through the phone and she noticed Mike's jaw was a bit slack. He was actively jerking off as she spoke.
"Are you touching yourself sweetie?" Y/n asked and Mike nodded his head.
"You've got me hard as fuck right now, I have to." Mike breathed into the phone and Y/n giggled.
"Prove it." She wiggled her eyebrows and Mike flipped the camera so she could see him jerking his cock.
"Mmmm that's a very naughty boy. Who said you could jerk off?" Y/n asked making Mike's hand pause for a moment.
"I mean...you could always come over and jerk me off. I wouldn't mind." He laughed feeling his cheeks flush.
"Can't. I'm busy tonight." She sighed as he continued to slowly stroke himself again.
"You want me to beg huh? You're one of those?" Mike smirked at her and she cocked her eyebrow.
"Are you calling me a tease?" She asked for clarification.
"Maybe...I mean-"
"Well in that case, I hope you finish yourself off without visual aid. Enjoy your night." She ended the call and Mike was floored. She really was a tease but what she didn't know was he had been getting himself off thinking about fucking her since they met. He pointed his phone at his cock and continued to jerk himself, trying not to whimper as he thought about her lips wrapped around him, her eyes staring up at him and her cupping his balls in her hands. He wanted to make her gag on his cock so bad that when he finally did cum, he moaned her name as his cum spit out all over his abdomen.
He took a few deep breaths before he stopped the video. He looked at himself and knew he was a mess but the anticipation of actually fucking Y/n was going to be the death of him.
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vettelsvee · 21 hours
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SHE'S NOT HANNA | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | history series masterlist | season 1
history series season 2: part 1 | part 2.1 | part 2.2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6
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summary: seb overhears di talking with her sister only for him to find out her birthday is next monday... and that he has confused feelings about the intern
word count: 3507
warnings: bad language. mention to threesomes. much disrespect towards diana from a certain driver. narrated on seb's pov. i remind you this is a fictional work and everything you read here is not real.
taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable @vincentvanshoe @formulaonebuff] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3
feedback, as well as reblogs and comments, are truly appreciated!
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2009 Bahrain Grand Prix Bahrain International Circuit, Sakhir
April 25th
Saturday
Sebastian
The qualifying session in Bahrain went well, but it could have gone much better. That third place on the grid for the race the next day could have been a pole position if Rocky hadn't insisted on using the same amount of fuel we would start the race with tomorrow. Even Diana had said that with about two liters less it would have been better!
There was still some tension in the garage because our results hadn't been as expected, but I tried not to dwell on it as I watched the sun begin to set on the horizon, listening to my engineer's analysis and the deafening noises of the mechanics, whom I admired for working tirelessly on Mark's car and mine. The conversation Rocky and I were engrossed in was so fruitful that, to our surprise, we had been analyzing every single piece of data we could extract from the other drivers and, especially, discussing the improvements that could be made the next day for nearly three hours.
Di had been with us for most of the time, with a concentration that pleasantly surprised us. When her phone started ringing, the engineer's insistence that she answer the call, despite her attempts to insist it wasn't important, finally made a move a few meters away from us to take it.
I tried not to pay attention in what the blonde was talking about. After all, it was probably related to her personal life. As I studied the graphs and numbers in front of me, I couldn't help but get distracted when her soft voice, speaking in German, rose slightly:
"Yes, Ame, I understand," she tried to whisper calmly, failing miserably. Many of those present began to look at her curiously, wanting to know what my teammate's call was about. "Don't worry, okay? I'll be home on Monday night so don't get your hopes up too much... it's not like Dad is going to behave differently now that I'm away from home most of the time."
As much as I wished the latter hadn't made me want to know more about Wagner's personal life, I made every effort to focus my gaze and open my ears to the data I was being given, but it was totally impossible.
I hated myself because I couldn't forget about her, especially when all she did was raise her voice more and more, even catching Helmut's attention, who seemed to be in a bad mood.
"It's just another day," she continued, breathing in and out for relaxation. "Don't get me wrong: I know it's my birthday, but after so many years without celebrating it, I feel like it's just another day. Besides," she added, "it's good for me because I can focus on studying during the flight back home."
Listening to that made me completely stop paying attention to the conversation with Rocky, and I blatantly stared at the girl, who was still on the phone. I didn't know how to react to that, but I also couldn't find out much more about what she was saying because, as if she had realized that we were all paying attention to her, she switched to what sounded like Spanish. A perfect Spanish that not even Fernando spoke.
I might have been born to drive because it was the only thing I managed to do well, but... why did she do everything right?
"Seb, are you listening?"
"Uh... yeah."
My response was as calm as possible, but I realized I had failed miserably as the man in front of me began shaking his head, continuing to talk to me about things that had stopped mattering to me several minutes ago. My mind couldn't stop thinking about Di's birthday. Knowing that she hadn't celebrated it for a long time, for whatever reason, made me feel quite sorry, especially when I looked back at the last celebration Hanna and my mother had prepared for me at home.
Seeing that my mind was increasingly wandering, Rocky decided to let me go, but not without reminding me that I should be as calm as possible that afternoon so as not to interfere with tomorrow's results.
That's what he thought, because I certainly didn't plan to end the day in the calmest way.
Quickly, I got up from my seat and headed towards the entrance of the box from the pit lane, running. Seeing Mark standing with his mechanics, his arms slightly crossed and covered in grease up to his elbows, relaxed me a little for some reason; although, deep down, I was dying of nerves to tell him about the idea that had occurred to me and that I knew made no sense, but that I would still like to carry out.
At least someone would rid me of the birds my head had created.
"I know you don't care, but I think I have a very good idea."
"Do you know how to screw over the rest of the teams so we can at least win the constructors championship?"
Was this guy okay, or was stress making him say such nonsense?
"What? No!" I quickly replied while laughing, trying to get to the point and not beat around the bush. "Listen to me, and then you can say whatever you want, okay?" The Australian nodded, so I didn't hesitate to speak. "Monday is Di's birthday, and we're going to throw her a surprise party after the race," I affirmed, convincing myself that everything would go according to my sudden plans.
Webber looked confused, possibly because he was either surprised by my decision or completely agreed with it.
"Have you talked to anyone about this? Is Britta okay with you getting carried away? Are you sure Hanna won't mind? Does Diana know that you know her birthday in on Monday?"
His voice didn't stop for a moment, and I could even hear him getting breathless because he didn't pause for a second to catch his breath. His constant questions were making me more uneasy than I already was, so I didn't hesitate to cut him off.
"No," I began answering each of his questions. "No, and I don't care. Hanna is very understanding about the whole Diana thing, and she's the only thing that matters here; just because my girlfriend isn't the center of my life for once doesn't mean anything, Di deserves it."
"Okay..." my teammate replied, not very convinced, exerting more force in his crossed arms. "What do you need help with?"
Dam., I hadn't prepared anything because I hadn't planned to get to the point where Mark Webber actually agreed with me and wanted to help me with a crazy idea.
"Well... I thought we could do it at the hotel, right after the race," I explained as my mind projected a beautiful party with lots of balloons, a huge cake, and many gifts. "In a calm way, you know Di isn't usually into big parties," I clarified, remembering all the times she had been offered to come party with us, but she had politely declined, not limiting herself to making excuses. "I have to talk to other drivers first to see if they agree. What do you think?"
"Once we're in trouble, do things right," he replied. "Don't worry about anything now. Go talk to whoever you need to, and in the meantime, I'll call the hotel to reserve a large hall where we can all fit and you can fill it with confetti and stuff."
While my relationship with the light brown-eyed man was good, and I knew I could partly be myself when I spent time with him, I hadn't reached the point of trust to beg him for help with something. I suppose he thought the same of me, and now he would surely want to kill me for the mess I had just gotten him into; but he hid it perfectly because his smile never left his face.
"Thanks, Mark," I replied sincerely. "This means a lot to me, and I'm sure it does to Di too."
"Don't mention it, Seb. I'm happy to help you make your favorite paddock girl happy," he said, using the phrase I usually referred to the girl with, giving me a pat on the shoulder.
Immediately afterward, after several more glances and making sure the Australian didn't reveal the plan in front of the blonde, I began my journey through the paddock. Although at first I was a little worried about how reluctant people might be to my proposal, I ended up surprising myself because the vast majority of team bosses, drivers, and various members of the staff from the different teams agreed to come the next day to celebrate Di's twenty-first birthday.
Throughout all that hustle and bustle I avoided Britta, whom I ran into a couple of times. I felt guilty for not telling her what I was planning, but I was aware that she was going to give me hell as soon as she had the chance, and she was going to call me everything but nice. I knew that lately she had gotten much closer to the Austrian, and they had made some plans together, but there were still certain topics that my public relations and I were still avoiding, and that at the least opportune moment were going to come up.
Lewis and Fernando were the most excited to hear the proposal, even encouraging me to keep spreading the news. Others, like Rosberg, almost made me lose my nerves.
"We have to do something that surprises her! Man, it's Di's birthday, and if you say she hasn't celebrated it in forever, we have to make it even more unforgettable!"
Nico was so excited that it seemed like the celebration was for him. He kept raising his arms and that, along with the fact that he didn't stop using the nickname I had given to the girl, just made me angrier and angrier.
I was overreacting, and I couldn't deny that I was getting jealous because of the close relationship he seemed to have with the blonde. The affection with which he spoke about her was by no means similar to the one I had for, for example, Karina.
"Can you calm down for once?" I whispered angrily as I tried to calm his gestures. "You're not five years old and someone just gave you a Tamagotchi, damn it."
"Are you sure you're doing the right thing, Vettel?"
I felt Nico's penetrating gaze analyzing my expression, which was probably a mess. His words, totally contrary to what I thought he was going to say, were loaded with insinuation and provocation, and he knew it perfectly; I was smarter than him, and I wasn't going to play his game.
Before answering him, I clenched my teeth and forced myself to take a deep breath as I slowly counted to ten, trying to keep my calm as best as I could despite the growing anger that was quickly building up inside me.
"What are you talking about, Nico?" I asked, using the same tactic he was using and fixing my eyes on his.
I didn't understand why he was asking that, especially when he had no idea about my personal life, except that Prater was my girlfriend, of course. Everyone knew that except Diana, and I hoped it would stay that way until I found the right moment to tell her, or until they met each other.
"This whole surprise party for Diana," he continued, not abandoning the provocative tone that was bothering me so much. "Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" he repeated threateningly.
What right did this guy have to question what I was doing or not doing with my personal life? If Roeske barely controlled anything about me, even though that was his job, this jerk wasn't going to do it.
"It's none of your business, Rosberg," I replied flippantly.
My compatriot smiled as if he had gotten what he wanted: to anger me and make me snap.
"I don't know. I just wonder what Hanna would think if she found out about all this. Do you think she would be happy to see you bending over backward to have a stranger kneeled in front of you?"
The mention of my girlfriend made something stir in my stomach.
He knew perfectly well how I was feeling at that moment, and as much as my angry gaze was begging him to stop, he didn't seem willing to. 
"And what do you think Diana would say if your girlfriend showed up unexpectedly at her birthday party? They would finally know about each other's existence, and it would be a perfect gift for your little pet!"
The blond's provocations were starting to go too far. I could feel my jaw tensing and my fists clenching. I was trying to keep my composure, God or whatever exists knew it well, but I couldn't take it anymore. Not anymore.
"Don't you dare talk about Di like that, Nico. You're crossing the line."
"I think I know what surprise you're preparing for Wagner after the party: a threesome with her and Hanna," he continued. "Well, that would be more to make you happy than them."
That comment was the last straw. I wasn't going to allow him to speak badly of either of the two girls, but I wasn't going to say anything at the moment because I knew that the punch I could receive in the face from Rosberg would cause me more problems than, if I was honest with myself, I didn't give a damn about.
Therefore, without saying another word, I turned around and headed towards the parking lot at the same time I heard the comments from the Williams driver calling me a coward, unfaithful, idiot, and a bunch of insults that I tried not to care about but definitely were affecting me more than I wanted them to. I realized this when I reached my car and kicked one of the bins next to it so hard that it was hard for me to walk the few meters that separated it from the driver's door.
On my way to the mall, doubts began to torment me. It was the first time I gave myself the opportunity to think about myself and what it seemed I was experiencing.
Was I being a good boyfriend to Hanna, or was I just behaving like a jerk who sometimes thought of another girl when he saw her? Was that fair to Di, or was it totally normal given the admiration I had for the Austrian?
As I made my way through the streets of Bahrain, what I was most afraid to ask myself was what had begun to flood my mind in a worrying way: did I truly love Hanna, or our relationship had become a habit that I couldn't break out due to the fear of the unknown?
I tried not to think too much about it because she didn't deserve it, but I couldn't avoid it anymore. Since Diana had come into my life in a closer way, I had been avoiding my feelings, and now, now that I finally seemed to recognize that something was wrong with myself, the mental block began to make itself present, along with the tears streaming down my cheeks as I drove in silence except for the constant echo in my head of Nico Rosberg's insults, which hadn't stopped since I lost sight of him.
When I arrived at the mall and parked the car clumsily, in a position that didn't even correspond to the white lines drawn on the asphalt, I took out my cell phone and saw that, in addition to a call from my partner, along with several text messages from her, there were a multitude of voicemail messages from Britta, possibly from missed calls. That only made me feel worse: the woman had only tried to communicate with me for, surely, something important.
I called her, and she didn't take long to answer. Her voice sounded really worried, but I didn't give her the opportunity to talk much because I felt the need to unload everything that had been inside me for so long:
"Britta... I need to talk to you because you are my mother when I don't have mine by my side," I murmured, my voice breaking because I couldn't contain my emotion. "I have so many doubts in my head, and I don't know what to do anymore."
"Of course, I'm here to listen to you. What's wrong? I saw you today in the paddock very excited preparing the party that I found out you're going to throw for Diana tomorrow."
I sighed, defeated and, why not say it, excited by her calm, calm voice, and by her last sentence. My words flowed in such a way that it seemed like I had been preparing them for days, and I ended up revealing more things than I had planned to do at first, including my biggest doubt. She listened attentively, nodding with small articulations as I shared my concerns.
"If I'm in a relationship, and I wanted to punch Diana's father when I found out they didn't celebrate her birthday, it's for a reason, right?"
"Is that what's bothering you?" the blonde wanted to know. "Do you think I didn't already know?"
I tensed up at what I suspected. Sometimes I was worried about how much Britta knew me.
"I know you've been thinking a lot about her, Seb," she revealed, "just as I know that's exactly what's been going through your head for longer than you'd like."
Yes, since the Saturday before the race in Monza, when I accidentally fell asleep in Di's bed.
"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing," I finally confessed. "I don't know if this is fair to Hanna."
"Before you're honest with her, you have to be honest with yourself. You can't pretend to have feelings you don't have, and if that's what's making you doubt, you need to clear your mind, slowly, but surely."
She was right, but saying it was easier than doing it. Nor could I afford to think about my love life in the middle of a Formula 1 season that, let's face it, was going pretty well for me.
"Di is different, and I won't deny that I'm attracted to her," I continued to explain, praying that she wouldn't judge my feelings, "but it's in a totally different way than Hanna."
"How so different?" Roeske asked curiously. "Different in what way, Seb?"
"In every way," I replied with determination. "It's as if at the same time they're the same, but at the same time, so different... She's not Hanna, Britta."
A muffled scream on the other end of the phone made me tense up in my seat. At the same time, I began to hear more noise, but I didn't decide to steer the conversation to find out where Britta was so that such a noise could be heard.
"I mean, Di is unique," I continued, trying to explain myself a little better, "and I can't compare her to anyone else. It's going to sound very selfish, but..."
"Say it," the woman demanded.
"I want to find out if what I feel for her is real.”
If even I was impressed by what I had just said, surely the woman on the other end of the call was too.
"Sebastian Vettel," if Britta Roeske said my full name, it wasn't a good sign, "I need you to listen to this carefully," indeed, she was right. "Sometimes, in life, we have to take risks to find out what we want and, moreover, what’s actually made for us."
"What do you mean?"
"That you should be honest and, especially, be careful with your feelings and those of the people you love, or say you love," she added. "If you think what you feel for Diana is more than just a whim, you really love her, and you think that the right thing to do is to fight for her, do it without fear."
If only the answer were easier than a simple yes or a simple no…
I hadn't even hung up on Roeske and I was already in a whirlwind of emotions, fighting with myself about my feelings. There was no doubt that, as much as Britta's words kept swirling in my mind, there was no better advice than one's own.
I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I was afraid of losing people who had become a fundamental pillar in my life over a simple slip-up that would eventually turn into a mistake.
Perhaps, for the sake of the mental health of more than one person, it was best to ignore how much, more and more, I cared about Diana Wagner, and settle for the love I believed was meant for me.
29 notes · View notes
fictionfixations · 2 days
Text
masquerade malleus vignette
(spoilers for glorious masquerade)
aww
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i refuse to believe lilia is oblivious enough not to notice that they dont like his cooking
..although solomon (from obey me) doesnt notice either iirc, but i mean..
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..sebek. in a vignette, you literally got his help in cleaning a stain from malleus' labcoat???
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...i never thought id hear azul say those words.... what?????
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i dont know how it didnt hit me until now but the only reason rollo's plan in glorious masquerade failed was because he was so insistent on having malleus there and taking away all his power and shit?? like. cause. none of us had enough magic to actually overpower the fire lotuses(? i cant remember what they were called), although yuu would be able to make it through with no magic how could we even fight rollo at the end??
and at the point it reaches malleus and he could do something about it, it'd be too late?? because i REALLY doubt he has enough to reach all of those flowers and with enough to completely fry them out. and i doubt the bell would reach it by then.
silver...
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is azul even human?? im like pretty sure-ish he's not human. not even half human. just entirely sea creature with a human-like body to probably be treated more normally and not hunted for sport/food through evolution shit idfk (like. idk im pretty sure its a thing where pets look so much cuter to cause us to take them in and shit.)
anyway im just imagining sebek talking azul's ear off about how great malleus is because he finally has a buddy who understands and therefore would be willing to listen to him talk for hours straight about malleus's greatness. AND APPRECIATE IT. HAUIHDSUIhd and azuls just like ………………….. floyd and jade laughing at him from a distance azul sets sebek on them like 'i think those two should come to learn about malleus's brilliance, don't you think? after all, as my colleagues, it is such a shame that they don't share my admiration for malleus, and i am unsure how to put it into words, as malleus himself is so magnificent that even words fail to describe him properly. so sebek, my fellow appreciator, would you lend me your aid in helping them grow to appreciate his brilliance?' okay i ran out of words and started repeating them because ic ant be bothered to look up for synonyms, im not THAT into it okay
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ahhh so it is a fleur city song i wasnt sure. ive read in fics that it was, but it was also those fics where songs either have power, or yuu knows a bunch of disney songs that are considered 'forbidden/forgotten songs' or something like that and i cant remember which it was
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actually if they put in all that work beforehand i think i get why they were so insistent on waiting for rollo to either confess or not AFTER the social ball and after they left and everything LMFAO
they suddenly changed into their school uniforms (still in diasomnia)
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i honestly wouldnt know if id trust lilia that much but sure (i hope it doesnt turn to perfectionism levels tho)
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first time we encounter italicized text i think. huh.
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lmfao
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oh my god (no but why choose idia at that point?? is it cuz his voice meshes well with them??)
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ayoo its playing the make a wish (i think thats what the song is called) instrumental in the bg ive heard it way too many times not to recognize it (and sung along. its so fucking cool)
damn
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my hands are actually protesting now ah geez (i took a break)
I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY DEUCE (i was re-experiencing enjoying looking at everyones costumes again) I AM AN IDIOT (its lower in opacity to show you that you're on it in the editor)
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ooh
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i didnt notice the insert paragraph im sorry lMFAO but id forget if i didnt SS it then
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ooh some malleus riddle bonding
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AH ITS A YUU JUMPSCARE
that seriously startled me like suddenly i just hear footsteps and then BOOM OPTIONS
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ayooo malleus and yuu dancing
(alsoo yuu and deuce dancing :D)
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WOOO
okay. now.
i feel like. im doing really good progress tackling all the vignettes (currently in EN. after that's GloMas, & Book 6 and 7. ive been avoiding it because not all of the Backgrounds exist, and GloMas has options with completely different dialogue which I can't see them all. i have three different videos of GloMas gameplay but they dont show all options...). all thats remaining is azul's tsumsitter (i have a vid of his vignette. ..i just dont like doing the tsum ones because i never know how to describe the tsum moving) vil birthday bloom (i FOUND A VIDEO finally oh my god. i love doing birthday vignettes) malleus dorm uniform (I have a vid) sebek new year (i have a vid) grim labcoat (i have a vid)
and then the rabbit costume ones which all of them have vignettes iirc and i have videos for all of them (i actually just found them as i was writing this. thank you god. they have no views tho geez. wonder if that means vil birthday bloom exists in a video but just wont appear. this is future me. ...i have been blessed with vil birthday bloom.)
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buttercupp-baby · 2 days
Text
Wedding Preparations
Characters: Gojo Satoru x fem reader
Word Count: 672 
Trigger Warnings: Marriage, scars, talks of loved one passing
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Before I knew it, it was the summer of our third year going on our fourth or the summer of my wedding. 
You look absolutely stunning sweetie,” Gojo’s mom squeezed my arm in excitement. This was the 30th dress she had made me try on, “how does it feel?”
“Um good, it's a little tight no?”
“That’s how it’s supposed to feel,” she waved me off.
“Right,” I awkwardly nodded. 
“Now sweetie, I’ll admit I’ve been avoiding this for a while now but um, your scar,” I touched my scarred arm, “It would be more modest if you were to cover it up, I’m sure you understand with the type of audience that will be in attendance
“Yeah, you’re right,” I said a little emotionlessly
“I’m glad you understand”
“I really liked that one dress, the one that had a low neckline with lace sleeves. What about you? Or we could always try on some more?
No,” I quickly said, “I mean, I also really liked that one, let's go with it”
“Perfect, you have excellent taste,” she squealed. Gojo’s mom has been nothing but nice since the engagement was announced, but I was tired, sad, angry, and just wanted to go home to my bed. 
“Today was such a productive day, I’m glad we were able to come to agreement for everything,” 
“Me too,” I sighed as the workers helped me out of the dress. 
“Have tea with me before you take off for the day, will you?”
“Of course Ms. Gojo
Her personal driver brought us back to the Gojo estate where she and I ended up having tea in her garden. 
“You know I was 16 when I married Satoru’s father,” she smiled at me 
“That’s really young,”
“It is. Everything was really confusing and chaotic and difficult for me. My mom taught me how to be a dutiful wife and a beautiful bride all while preparing for the wedding. I apologize I’m beating around the bush, what I’m trying to say is that it must be a bit saddening and scary and lonely to not have your mom here with you for such a big moment. And I wanted to say I’m here for any questions or any emotions you may be feeling,” my eyes were watering in realization. 
“Thank you, Mrs. Gojo, I really appreciate it, you have no idea. Thank you. 
The drive back to school was relaxing enough to be out of heels. She had been right, I do miss my mom. I do wish she was here. I do wish she would be there on my wedding day. I do wish she was there when I tried on wedding dresses. I just wish my mom was here. I took a deep breath as I realized we were approaching jujustu tech. Satoru was at the entrance waiting for me. He opened my door and welcomed me with a smile, “Sooooo how’d it go?”
Holding my heels in my left hand I climbed out of the car, “You have no idea how grateful I am to breathe and walk without a stabbing pain.” Satoru cringed as I told him. He took my heels from my hand as we walked onto campus. 
He sighed,” I’m sorry, I know my mother can be a bit overbearing, but she means well.”
I giggled, “I know. She was really kind.”
“Really? You were able to pick the flower arrangements, the color of the tablecloths, even the color of the napkins without a fight?”
“You’re being dramatic. Your mother has good taste, there was no fighting”
“How? I could barely leave the house without her commenting on the way I looked and I always look amazing.
“Everything went well, our wedding will be in a week and everything will be perfect. Your mother made sure of it. 
At this point in our walk, we were outside my dorm. “Thank you, good sir, for accompanying me to my doorstep, but I really need a bath right now. See ya.” 
“See ya, sweetheart”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notes:
This is the first fanfic I've posted feedback is much welcome, please remember to be kind. Please let me know if I missed any trigger warnings. I hope you like it, there are more to come.
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endereies · 2 days
Text
Fuck it - Matt Sturniolo - Part 9
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Spotify playlist:
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Authors notes:
I've been ill the past few days so I've had more time to complete this so hopefully its okay <33
Warnings: swearing, that's lowkey it
Word count: 3518
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
“Is this something we are meant to do?”
“Fuck it.”
Alyia’s pov:
“Are you going to go to that band thing then?” Jenny’s words simply go in one ear and out the other, all my focus being on the situation rather than her advice. “Ally.”
I peel my eyes away from the poster for a moment only so that I can look at Jenny, however, I immediately look back down when she glares at me. She stops staring just so that she can return to her locker and rearranging a few books.
“Sorry, I’m just thinking.” My eyes trace back down to the piece of paper that was in front of me, the number on the bottom drawing my attention each time.
“Why are you so nervous, you’re rarely nervous.” Jenny’s statement makes me sigh deeply and rub my face lightly.
“I don’t know, I guess it’s from being so used to practicing alone rather than with other people.”
“Except Matt.”
“Yeah…except Matt but you know what I mean. He’s different y’know, I’ve gotten used to him.” Immediately Jenny moves her head from behind her locker door and pushes it to, so that she can look at me.
“Sometimes I wish you could hear yourself talk to me.” Her eyes roll at me before fully shutting the door to focus on the conversation with me.
“What? What did I say?”
“Look, you got used to being around Matt easily enough, you just have to do that again, I still don’t really understand the issue here.” She suddenly gasps a little making me give her a weird look.
“Are you good..?”
“Are you worried that Matt might leave you for other band mates?”
“What. No.” I say quickly and shake my head at the comment. “If Matt wants to play with other people, then he can, who am I to stop him.”
“Alyia.” She practically face palms at my sentence, leaving me confused again.
“Whatever, are you meeting up with Matt later?”
“Oh, shit I’m meant to be there now, said we were gonna try something new or whatever.” My bag strap is adjusted on my shoulder, and I shift my weight from the locker door to my feet.
“I’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” Her voice is a little louder as I start to walk down the hallways. I just wave my hand and give a quick thumbs up before walking around a corner.
Thankfully, the music room wasn’t as far from Jenny’s locker as it was from mine, but I still give Matt a quick message.
Alyia🎸:
‘Sorry I’m taking so long, I’m omw now tho.’
Matt🥁:
‘Aight bet, cya in 5’
I quickly put my phone back into my pocket and started walking to the music room, feeling a faint breeze against my skin. As I reach the room I notice an abnormal silence, unlike the previous smashing of cymbals that I have been used to. I slowly placed my hand on the cold metal and push down on the handle, pushing it open to look for Matt inside. Once my eyes scan the room around me, I realize that Matt isn’t anywhere in the room, I let my bag fall off my shoulder and onto the floor, hitting something as it falls. Matt’s bag. My face scrunches up in slight confusion, trying to figure out where he went. However, that didn’t take long, as soon as I turn my body around, I see Matt reaching the door, breathing slightly heavier than normal.
“What the fuck?” my words emit around a laugh, covering my face with my hand momentarily.
“Damn it, was hoping I would beat you.” His body leans towards the doorframe, letting a hand drape just above his head, brushing the top of his hair.
“Beat me, beat me at what exactly?”
“Getting water.” He holds up a water bottle that’s mostly full, with the cap screwed on lop-sided. His smile is filled with some sort of pride, and I simply shake my head. “I was hoping that I could fill it and be back before you came here, kind of forgot you’re a fast walker.”
“You do realize how stupid you sound, right?” another weak laugh emits into my surrounding, making Matt smile once more. He laughs back before he sheepishly nods in response.
“yeahhh, a little.” I notice his eyes squint when he laughs, laughs properly at least, it makes me smile a little more.
We let out small laughs individually that mingle with our sighs as it dies down, pausing to grab our assigned instruments and sit down, now facing each other at a further distance.
“Anything you wanna practice today?” I shoot a quick glance in his direction, back and forth between him and the plugs to my guitar.
“Honestly, I just want to do something for tonight.” I let the plug dangle in my hand letting my attention fully focus onto matt, seeing him swing back and forth on his chair.
“Tonight..?”
“The club I told you about?” I raise an eyebrow at him slightly as he shifts his weight so that his hands drape over his thighs with his hands dangling off. “The first admissions for it are today.”
Shit.
“They are?” I try to act nonchalant with my words, but the slight hesitation was a dead giveaway.
“You forgot, didn’t you?”
“No, of course not…” I mess around with my guitar to avoid any eye contact with matt.
Truth is, I am way more scared than I should be about going to that club. I’m not one for anxiety and I tend to just get on with things but this time? I’m intimidated. And I don’t know how Matt is going to react to everyone in that room that has a significant amount more dedication than I do in their instruments. Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t want to abandon my morning routine with Matt, or maybe it’s the insecurity of my skill. But something is eating me up more than it ever should.
“Oh, c’mon Alyia, it’s obvious. Do you want to practice something with me then..”
I think about his words before judging the situation better. Internally I had decided that I was going to leave really early or make some crappy excuse about why I couldn’t be there any longer than I could handle; the more Matt went on about it, the worse I felt.
“You aren’t going.. are you..?” my eyes finally meet his and I see his chest fall as he reads my eyes, I look away quickly after that.
“I am.. I just. I have nothing that I have prepared, I haven’t made anything new in months.” I lie slightly, altering the truth behind my weakened smile. I’m a bad liar, and he knows it.
“Fine.. if that is really the issue, then let’s get something done now. Okay?” I don’t argue with him and balance the guitar on my thigh, shifting it on my skin.
I don’t need to look at him to know he is smiling; you can practically feel it in the occasional sentences and the opening numbers to start the beat of his drums. The music wasn’t anything special, an old song practiced many times between us, one we were confident in. It was a calm balance between skill and memory which was more relaxed than other songs I was used to playing.
-
About an hour had gone by and we had only gone over a few songs, filling the gaps with small conversations and words to each other, giving small changes to the songs to match one another. Nothing I wasn’t used to, but the difference in our energy was noticeable between the two of us.
Before Matt can comment again on my mood the bell rings, breaking up the song that was more finished than not. I quickly move my guitar to rest by my feet, leaning onto my shins before I unplug it. The wire wraps between my fingers rapidly while I bend down to place it into my case which thankfully wasn’t far from my placement. Matt simply watches me once more, noticing the speed of my packing away unusual to the normal which drags on until at least one of us is late to our first class.
I know he is watching but I don’t utter a word to him, grabbing my case with my guitar now inside and leaving the place quickly. I didn’t want to think about after school just yet.
As I’m rushing away from the music room, Jenny runs into me and grabs my arm to get my attention.
“Hey? Why are you rushing..?” her words fall sweetly from her lips, shooting a quick smile to one of her friends who keeps walking with out her by her side.
“I’m fine, Jenny, what’s up.”
“What’s up is you acting weird. Talk to me..”
I try to avoid any eye contact until I begin speaking.
“I don’t know…I’m just feeling nervous about tonight. And I never feel this way and so I can’t pinpoint a specific reason as to why I feel like this.” I ramble quicker than I would’ve liked, yet nothing she wasn’t used to when I was like this.
“Is it because of what I said this morning?” Her gaze meets mine, softer than Matt’s but lacking in the same easy sparkle.
“Maybe...” The way I mumble indicated to Jenny all that she needed to.
“So..you are afraid of losing Matt to new people.”
“But I shouldn’t. Matt can fucking talk to whoever he wants to. Why should that be my concern” her arms land on my shoulder, her fingers brushing against the edge of the material back and forth.
“What exactly did you tell me after you had that sleepover at their house.. the very first thing.”
“The conversation I had with matt?” my voice begins to shake again, I swallow quickly to hide it.
“Exactly that. How he wanted to be your friend and get to know you…you’re scared to lose that, your parents haven’t been a help with that.” I look down at my feet, realizing slowly what she is getting at. “You don’t want to lose Matt after finally getting a friend again that didn’t make you feel isolated. Not that you’ll ever admit it.”
“That’s because it’s not true.”
That’s because it is true.
“This is stupid Jenny, whatever this is? I’ll get over it quick enough, okay?”
“Alyia.” She tried to call my name out, but I walked off down the corridor before she could even finish.
-
Class was nearly over, and I was glad I got a distraction from this morning, letting it go on for too long in my head. Honestly, all I was thinking about now was the piece I would play for people at the club, hoping someone finds the skill I have decent enough. I’m not one to majorly care enough about extracurricular activities but both Jenny and Matt were going on about how good this would be for me, so I felt like I had to go.
I was trying to use the English work as a distraction, but I kept subconsciously tapping my pen against the desk to the beat of the song I was going to play. I hated that it was catchy and now subsequently stuck on my head.
With the teacher ending her lesson, people start a commotion of bag movement and talking, startling me from the silence. I rub my eyes with one of my hands, using the other to push my from my seat before grabbing my bag that laid by my feet.
An array of pens and equipment that I hadn’t even used for that lesson spread across my papers. I sighed at the sight of them, knowing it would delay me from leaving.
I lay a bunch of them in my pencil case and turn my back to shove it into my bag but as I turn around, I see Matt in front of me, holding my papers that were all over my desk neatly in his hands.
He doesn’t say anything, but his smile hides a sweet sincerity behind it. A smile spread across my face as I took them from his hands and transferred them in-between a few books in my bag.
“You’re slow today, normally you wait for me” he takes a few steps before turning back to wait for me to catch up with him.
“Yeah sorry..” I think he noticed my change in my average mood since he slows down to make sure he walks by my side.
“What’s up with you? You are always happy to leave English?”
“I am. I’m just tired I guess.” As much as I hated to say it, I was getting better at lying to Matt, it didn’t help that he told my tells and what he picked up on. That only gave me the things about myself that I needed to change.
“Well, hopefully not too tired to play in a minute. I talked with the guy who introduced the club to me and I think it was in room 17. Don’t hold me to that though.” He leaves my side and so does a sharp exhale on my end. I was glad he left it alone.
I needed to get over this feeling quickly.
-
The room was easily noticeable to us the more we approached the door, commotion being heard that was typically avoided during after school hours. A few people stood outside talking, evidently holding instruments varying from different music groups.
I don’t think either Matt or I were expecting this many people here, about fifteen people were heard and was confirmed as we entered the room.
Matt had entered first, immediately being noticed by a few people I had seen him play with at the talent show months ago. I stayed behind Matt, only turning when I heard a voice say my name.
“Alyia? Out of all people I wasn’t expecting you here.” The words are raspy and that catches my attention more than the specific words he says.
“Excuse me?” I face him head in now, dropping my attention from Matt.
“I’m Elijah, I’m in your science?”
“I’m sorry but I don’t know you, to be fair I don’t really know anyone in that class.” My hand rubs against the back of neck, hoping that it soothes some of the awkwardness that was just created.
“I’m not surprised, you’re kind of known for that. At least that’s all I know about you.”
“What?”
“You’re known for not talking to anyone and well…being distant.” I sigh and look down at my shoes before I speak again.
“Well, that’s a great first impression, huh.”
“If you join this, then I bet I’ll be seeing a lot more of you, I run this club with Ben, so I’ll be giving you details and information on anything you need.” I feel a sense of relief over me, knowing I didn’t fuck everything up.
“Yo, Alyia? You want to perform in a few minutes” Those words come from a voice that I wasn’t familiar with, I scan the room, turning my body around until I see a boy looking at me who is stood next to Matt. I can only assume that he is Ben, until the name finally clicks as the one labelled on the sheet that Matt gave me.
I give a hesitant thumbs up, only putting them down as I slide my soles on the ground and swing my body to return to Elijah.
“I’ll see you around?” His smile is quick to grow on his face and I reciprocate it. I start to feel less nervous about this situation now knowing that the people here aren’t as intimidating as I thought. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.
-
By the time performances rolled around a small slip of paper was passed around the bench we all sat on, naming what order we were in, thankfully I was after Matt, so I got to sit next to him. He kept stealing glances at me for a few minutes before whispering.
“I see that you aren’t as nervous anymore Ally.”
“Ally?” My head turns to him quickly, making him hide a laugh in his smile.
“Oh, so you can call me Matt, but I can’t shorten your name? Do you not like it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then it’s settled.” He takes one more look at me before his gaze is stolen by Ben and Elijah standing in front of us.
“Before we start showing everyone what you all play and types of skill you all have, this isn’t any audition or anything, this is just so that others can see what you can do. This is just fun for you all, okay” Ben’s words calmed me down more than I thought that they would.
“We have set up the instruments accordingly but if you guys need to change any tuning, quickly do it as it is your turn.” Thankfully, my internal panicking made me check mine a few times so I could relax over that factor at least.
“Whoever is first, if you could start.”
-
The atmosphere was way calmer, and I didn’t feel pressured not to mess anything up, seeing how one or two people had missed a note and moved on so easily with communitive applause afterwards.
Matt was up next, and he just sat behind the drum kit quickly, feeling confident about the snippet he had prepared.
The drumsticks spin against his fingertips, taking a quick look at me while he internally counts himself in.
The silence that was previously established was cut off by the quick taps of the high hat along with the snare drum.
It was the piece that I have recognized from this morning, and I was happy to see it with more energy than before.
After a few minutes he stops and looks up from the separate drums, smiling at the small claps shared between us.
He walks up to me and looks down towards me.
“You good to go?”
“After that I’m doubting myself” I give him a quick grin, standing up to meet his eyes.  I laugh when he rolls his eyes and playfully punches my arm.
I take a quick breath, passing Matt to approach my guitar that was on the stand and pull it towards the seat displayed central to everyone.
I hum the tune quickly to myself as I pluck the strings gently. It is only a few seconds before I start to strum against the strings creating a much more melodic sound. I ignore the people before me for a moment and let myself fall into the sounds more. This piece wasn’t particularly hard to do except for one or two moments and it was more a case of keeping on time with myself and focusing on the beautiful audio it made.
I managed to finish the piece only messing up one chord – not that it was noticeable, thankfully. When I look back up from the guitar, I look at Matt immediately and smile just a little brighter to him.
I shook my hands a little after placing my guitar back to get rid of the energy that lingered and took my seat back next to Matt who ruffled my hair a little when I adjusted myself.
“You played really fucking well, better than a few of the morning sessions we have had.”
“Oh really?” I rolled my eyes buy feign to hold my smile back and its obvious he noticed.
“You want to go to the Grove after this?”
“Are you sure?” I was surprised to hear him mention the Grove to me again, I had been the only one so far to bring it up and I was happy he remembered about it at all.
“Of course, I may have gotten a few things for it.”
“You did..?” Curiosity changed the way I had initially smiled at him. “What did you get?”
He merely placed a finger to his lips and tapped, quietening me.
-
The rest of the time I was there I was thinking about what Matt could’ve possibly bought for the houses at the Grove, if it was even for the houses. I stopped thinking to applaud the last two performances and I spent the rest of that time thinking about what he had planned.
“You ready to go?” I get stunned by the sudden words but as I look up I notice that people are standing up from their seats and grabbing their bags.
“Oh. Uhm yeah.” I stand up and grab my bag from my feet.
“Cmon, I wanna show you what I bought.”
I leave the room, waving goodbye to the few people I had made conversation with before catching up to Matt, walking next to him again. We leave the main building and head towards his car.
“Are you ready for the Grove?” I simply nod in response, excited for what Matt has in store.
@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerssturns @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @raysmayhem-72 @luverboychris
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m0e-ru · 1 year
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(watched visualive again voice) they should be friends
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echo-s-land · 7 days
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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
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